#and jayce has been forever and irrevocably changed from his time with viktor

[losingmylegos]

like what did they mean by this

[viktorapologist]

I’m like that rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, running around frantically and yelling “I’m late I’m late!”

Uh, my reactions are a week behind at this point. But that will not stop me from glorifying each chapter with comments and praise because I love this story and I will scream it from the rooftops.

This chapter was monumental. Things irrevocably changed between Jayce and Viktor. I don’t want to spoil anything above the cut but if you’re looking for a fic that will grab you by the hand and lead you deep into jayvik hell, look no further. Come, join me.

Ugh starting off with them in the lab together is so wholesome. I live for their quiet moments working side-by-side. And when Jayce was doodling something in his notebook, I had this sense of rightness take over. It didn’t even matter what he was writing down. I was just happy to see them back together, doing what they do best.

But oh man, I was as curious as Viktor to see what Jayce was writing down. Especially with how adorable and shy he was being about it!!! Aahhhhh! (Viktor poking Jayce with his cane is such a cute detail too) When Viktor says that “personal” means “you and me” to Jayce, I’m screaming, crying, throwing up. Yes yes yesssss together forever in all things <3 and Jayce blushes, oh he’s so cute. The banter is at full power in this chapter. I can hear the dialogue in their voices, it’s so perfect. I live for them giving each other shit while they’re at work.

I love love love Jayce actually admitting out loud that he’s been watching the interactions between Viktor and Dimitri, and with facial expressions that make it clear he’s jealous. Before, Jayce was trying a little harder to keep his cool but now he’s letting it out. I like this little tidbit of information laid out bare for Viktor, because I think eventually he might put the pieces together (if the hanahaki disease doesn’t outright block him from noticing). Jealousy looks good on Jayce because he’s a dumbass and I live for the irony of him not realizing his feelings but acting head over heels in love.

And I knew Viktor shot down Jayce’s attempts to identify the man he loves out of fear, but it felt good to read it and know that Viktor feels guilty, even if it was necessary to block Jayce from figuring things out too quickly. I would be worried for Viktor’s sanity if he hurt Jayce’s feelings and didn’t care. Sometimes people portray Viktor as mean or very abrasive, and he doesn’t seem that way to me in the show. He seems…soft, when it comes to people he cares for. Even when Jayce said some judgmental things about Zaunites, Viktor was willing to accept Jayce’s touch again after speaking his mind and letting him know he was wrong, even though he smacked his hand away at first. Viktor will spit some truth, but he feels the consequences of how people respond. He values connection deeply, even if he’s prepared for people to slip through his fingers inevitably, I think.

The thought of living with Jayce, seeing him walking around in briefs, is enough to put me or Viktor into a coma. The way Viktor knows Jayce would make breakfast for him in this imagined scenario where they escape Piltover cracks me up. Oh sweet lord, pray for Viktor’s health.

The whole interaction with Dimitri was so awkward to read in a good way. I kind of felt bad for Dimitri? He’s been getting all of this hate from Jayce for no discernible reason. If Piltover’s golden boy was picking on me, I’d be pretty grumpy about it too. And Viktor is like “Jayce has never done anything wrong in his life ever. I don’t know what you mean by any of this.”

What favor did Dimitri ask of Viktor? ooooooo there are so many little mysteries along the way, like each mid-chapter point is dangling a cupcake in front of my face and I haven’t eaten all day. It keeps me intrigued the whole time, fabulous, amazing, spectacular. I’m eating up every word. When I found out that the favor was taking care of Porofessor, I smiled. I was worried that Dimitri had asked for something untoward but this story isn’t like that, thankfully. All of the angst comes from Viktor actively dying. No other sources are needed.

Porofessor is great comedic relief in every chapter. I do side with Jayce and think he’s a bit of a nuisance but that’s because I’m frustrated by the boys being too oblivious to kiss each other. They don’t need anything else getting in the way, damn it! Ah, but the fluffy little guy is so cute in this one. He can stay!

When I realized they were going to recreate the moment from season 1 when they figure out hextech and float in the anti-gravity blue sparkly glow, I knew I was in for a treat. I think the fandom agrees that both Jayce and Viktor treasured that moment, and that it irrevocably bound their fates together. And it was the only time Viktor really smiled, so it clearly meant the world to him. To see it happen again, on purpose, and as Jayce is trying to distract Viktor with happy memories…oh my heart exploded.

I must say the prose in this section is immaculate. I was totally transported into the moment. I love how much detail there is about the setting, the inner thoughts of Viktor’s perspective, the way the runes work and how the magic field is generated. It all supports the dialogue (which is always fantastic) so beautifully and creates a vivid mental picture of what’s happening. And the pacing of it, even at a sentence structure level, is perfect for really savoring each moment. I feel equally motivated to read fast to see what happens next, but also to slow down and read things twice just to enjoy each word. There is so much effort and care for the characters and world apparent within this story, it’s like a love letter to Season 1 jayvik. It is season 1 jayvik canon, in my mind. It’s what this fandom deserves. All the stolen moments. The opportunity to see the two of them fall in love like they should have.

Jayce recreated the moment they changed each other’s lives. As a friend. A friend that is deeply in love, but he doesn’t know that about himself yet. God he has so much love to give, it’s ludicrous. It’s almost obscene. And when Viktor loves the surprise, it makes it all worse because Jayce feeds on praise. He’ll do something else bigger and better next time. His smile could blind innocent bystanders. Jayce was born to craft things and love Viktor. It’s that simple.

“Happy partnership anniversary.”

Jayce, just propose to him already. You beautiful dumb idiot.

PSA to the jayvik community. Please draw Jayce getting his eyebrows singed off and falling on his ass in the lab. It’s too funny for it to only exist in my head.

And oh? New lore about them traveling through the hexgates? I love the imaginative scenes added to their lives. They always fit so well. And Jayce hugging him back then, totally oblivious to Viktor’s crush. Ohhhhh my heart. It’s breaking in twenty pieces.

Okay rude that Jayce blurts out “love” as something people seek after their basic needs are met. That makes it seem like he’s the one seeking love. And his blush afterward???? Jayce come on, you’re killing me.

The almost kiss after being spun around.

I—

I don’t even know what to say. I’m speechless.

Tattoo the words on my skin. As soon as Jayce leans toward him. Several paragraphs. Permanently ink them into my skin, I don’t care if it takes up my whole back. The beautiful and achingly slow seconds of Jayce being overcome by his attraction to Viktor, the joy on his face melting into a realization of the way their bodies pull together like magnets, the surrender of his mind to his instinct to kiss Viktor. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Incredible.

And the interruption? Classic. The miscommunication about why Jayce ending up almost kissing him? Also classic but in a way that makes me deranged. Jayce why? Why word it that way??? Viktor no no no not the flowers again please god why?

I hate you for writing it but I forgive you because I know the tension will be worth it in the end. My heart might be crushed to a pulp by that time, but hey, I don’t need one of those. Do I?

Before Your Sun Sets - Chapter 6 is available!

Viktor is sick with Hanahaki. Jayce would do anything to save him—whether it be by developing an impossible cure or trying to find out who Viktor is in love with to smack some sense into them. Little does he know, he’s chasing his own shadow.

Read chapter 6 now

Read from the beginning

[white-btterfly]

There is no deadline to comment on fanworks! And I keep each of your comments under its own tag on my blog so that I can read them anytime I want. They never fail to make me smile ❤️

This chapter was monumental.

My heart stopped beating for a second. Pure, intense joy. I wish for every writer to feel that way at least once in their life.

When Viktor says that “personal” means “you and me” to Jayce, I’m screaming, crying, throwing up. Yes yes yesssss together forever in all things <3 and Jayce blushes, oh he’s so cute.

If you really want to know what was going on in Jayce's mind at that moment:

Jayce, thinking very hard: Viktor's romantic life is personal. I will never have anything to do with it, ever. I am totally not heartbroken over it. Viktor: Oh, by the way, 'personal' means 'you and me'. Jayce: *dies*

Jayce spent the last two weeks trying to bury his feelings of jealousy, and his feelings for Viktor in general. It took a tremendous amount of effort to act "normal" when Dimitri was mentioned, and it showed, because he was utterly bad at hiding his jealousy. So much that Viktor noticed it. Hanahaki cannot block Viktor from noticing the signs, but it might make him dismiss those signs as 'unimportant' or make him believe they 'don't mean anything'. And Viktor is easily convinced because, deep down, he believes his love to be doomed. Hanahaki reinforces Viktor's biases. After all, why would Jayce love him or be jealous over him?

I agree with you about Viktor not being an abrasive person. He's so soft-spoken, he feels things deeply... Viktor is not, and has never been, mean. Of course hurting the person he loves broke his heart a little.

Ahah, no, Dimitri would never ask Viktor anything untoward. He's a perfectly normal, decent dude. He's straight, he's got friends, he's got a job, he's nice to people who are nice to him... And he randomly receives murderous stares from the most popular man in Piltover for no apparent reason. Poor lad!

When I realized they were going to recreate the moment from season 1 when they figure out hextech and float in the anti-gravity blue sparkly glow, I knew I was in for a treat. I think the fandom agrees that both Jayce and Viktor treasured that moment, and that it irrevocably bound their fates together. And it was the only time Viktor really smiled, so it clearly meant the world to him. To see it happen again, on purpose, and as Jayce is trying to distract Viktor with happy memories…oh my heart exploded.

When I posted this chapter, I felt like a parent waiting for their children to open their Christmas presents. Like, I knew people were going to like it. Because, not to throw myself flowers, but I adore this scene I wrote. It felt so them. And I am a fan just like any other, so I had a feeling other people would like it too. I am so glad people loved that scene!

There is so much effort and care for the characters and world apparent within this story, it’s like a love letter to Season 1 jayvik. It is season 1 jayvik canon, in my mind. It’s what this fandom deserves.

I know the words will sound a bit lackluster, but... thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Jayce recreated the moment they changed each other’s lives. As a friend. A friend that is deeply in love, but he doesn’t know that about himself yet. God he has so much love to give, it’s ludicrous. It’s almost obscene. And when Viktor loves the surprise, it makes it all worse because Jayce feeds on praise. He’ll do something else bigger and better next time. His smile could blind innocent bystanders. Jayce was born to craft things and love Viktor. It’s that simple.

Yes to this. Yes to all this paragraph. It's 100% Jayce. He was made to do science and love Viktor. I will give him that.

And oh? New lore about them traveling through the hexgates? I love the imaginative scenes added to their lives. They always fit so well.

Thank you, again. I love adding missing scenes to make the world seem even more real to the reader. I just adore it. Feel like I'm doing it a lot. It also helps flesh out some characters, just like I did with Viktor in Chapter 4.

Okay rude that Jayce blurts out “love” as something people seek after their basic needs are met. That makes it seem like he’s the one seeking love. And his blush afterward???? Jayce come on, you’re killing me.

Ah! Again, here's what happened inside Jayce's head in my mind:

Jayce: Love! Jayce: *sees beautiful, charming Viktor and feels his heart inflate in his chest like a balloon and can't help but blush because, not only does he seek love, he seeks Viktor, and I think some part of him realized that deep down*

Your reaction to the almost kiss... Again, you make me teary-eyed, ahah. I have been wanting people to read this part for SO LONG. Ever since I saw the third episode of the first season, I longed for Jayce and Viktor to kiss while floating in Heimer's lab. How beautiful it is to share this vision to other people who feel the same way I do about them. How wonderful.

did you decide to place the almost kiss scene here on purpose for purely plot and pacing reasons? or did they just sort of…gravitate to each other when you were writing the scene?

The almost kiss was 100% planned. When I planned my story, I created an outline with a very short sentence for each chapter, describing the goal, or the key-scene in the chapter. Chapter 6 has always been that:

"C6 - Viktor and Jayce nearly kiss"

The kiss that wasn't planned was the one in Chapter 7... 🙃

I will share the full outline, without changing a single comma, in the behind the scene post. Not to sound clickbait, but some things in my outline might surprise you!

I hate you for writing it but I forgive you because I know the tension will be worth it in the end. My heart might be crushed to a pulp by that time, but hey, I don’t need one of those. Do I?

I don't worry about your heart the same way I don't worry about Jayce and Viktor. The three will suffer a lot but then will feel whole and fulfilled in the end. I promise you that!

Before Your Sun Sets - Chapter 6 is available!

Viktor is sick with Hanahaki. Jayce would do anything to save him—whether it be by developing an impossible cure or trying to find out who Viktor is in love with to smack some sense into them. Little does he know, he’s chasing his own shadow.

Read chapter 6 now

Read from the beginning