#and just generally living w less shame over me is nice and very freeing

[luckyricochet]

I want you to answer A-Z on the fandom asks so I can peer into your psyche 👀

Wow I love you. This actually took around three hours since I wanted to think about the answers. See them under the cut!

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

From Hanyou no Yashahime — Sesshomaru and Rin

From The Mandalorian — The Mandomera’s been creeping up a little bit. 

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

Honestly can’t think of one. I’m very set in my ships. 

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

From Naruto — SasuSaku. Sasuke was cute as a kid so I get Sakura having a crush on him then, but I think she would have gotten over it when he became a homicidal clown who abandoned the village and tried to kill her and her teammates multiple times.

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

From Harry Potter — Ron x Hermione. I’ve always thought their personalities didn’t match and not in the good “opposites attract” kind of way.

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

I only know how to write angst, drama, and introspective musings so no. 

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

Over fifteen years in the Harry Potter fandom, but I’ve had to separate that from JKR herself in the recent years. 

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

“Have I ever had an OTP”? *laughs from shipping hell* 

From The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare — Nat and Kit were my first OTP. Read this book in fifth grade and was immediately loved them. Boy literally risks banishment from the colony to help prove she’s not a witch. 

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

I love visual media, so TV, anime, and film

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

I’m not going to let tumblr dot com put me off of a particular show/book/etc. itself, but it has definitely made me think less of certain types of fans who are in a fandom. 

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)

The...period drama fandom? More widely, the history fandom. They both create some of the most beautiful edits celebrating history and I love it. 

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

 From Avatar: The Last Airbender — It’s gotta be Prince Zuko

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

From Harry Potter — I think Ginny is a Mary Sue but I loved when she stood up for herself in Half-Blood Prince when Ron was trying to slut-shame her. 

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

From Parks and Recreation — Leslie Knope. Unending positive affirmations, thoughtfulness, and support!

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

I don’t really have a main fandom but I haven’t mentioned Free! yet so let’s go with it for this one. 

1. Less Nitori because I can’t stand him.

2. More female characters! I get half the appeal is the boys, but I’d love to see a girls swim team in some capacity. 

3. More Haru and his family dynamics! Doesn’t have to be a ton, but I want to know what his relationship with his parents like, especially as an adult.

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

Salt and the Sea - The Lumineers. “From the destruction, out of the flame. You need a villain, give me a name.” Such an Odesta song. (Finnick x Annie from the Hunger Games)

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

For The Mandalorian — A historical AU set in early 1900s New York City where Mando’s just some government agent sent to “report” on slum conditions to satisfy some housing law. He goes meaning to write up a generic report but then finds the orphaned Baby Yoda abandoned in one of the tenements. Shocked by the conditions of the slums, Mando goes from being an apathetic, middling-level bureaucrat to being an anonymous investigative journalist reporting on the corruption in the government that allows for the city’s most vulnerable citizens to live in squalor, leading the government on a search to find who within their ranks is exposing them. 

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

Sherlock, because it just took so long for the third series to come out. I had moved on to other fandoms by the time it did. Still have fond memories of when I was active in it, though. 

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

From Lord of the Rings — Aragorn and Legolas. This is played up a lot more in the films but I love it. 

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

For Lord of the Rings — Boromir definitely taught Faramir swordplay when they were little kids since their father didn’t want to. 

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

From Hanyou no Yashahime — Rin made the first move. Sesshomaru would be way too clueless to even know how to go about it. 

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

From Pirates of the Caribbean — James Norrington: Commodore in the Royal Navy during the 18th century, must I explain any further? Cool, calm, and collected on the job while looking v good while he does it but a nervous wreck in front of the woman he fancies. Tell me that’s not straight out of Austen.

From Star Wars (OT) — Luke Skywalker: An unapologetically good person in a crapsack world, doing his best to bring light into the world. A classic hero archetype who grows out of his naïveté to become a cunning—but still benevolent—Jedi. 

From Prince of Tennis — Yukimura Seiichi: His duality is *chef’s kiss*. Super scary and in charge on the court, gentle sweet boy who loves art and culture off the court. He struggled for so long but was able to overcome it all through his hard work and willpower.

Bonus favorite, because I couldn’t resist...

From Band of Brothers — Doc Roe: He’s doing the MOST for his guys but he really just needs a hug. Plus he’s got the accent.

V - Which character do you relate to most?

From Little Women — Jo March, especially as portrayed by Saoirse Ronan in the 2019 adaptation. Writer, holds grudges, opinionated, stubborn, eschewed “girliness” in her youth but is more open to it and romanticism as an adult. 

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

I’ve gotten to the point where even the hint of a love triangle tests my patience.

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

It’s about the yearning: Longing Look

Also will definitely always ship the Brooding Boy and the Gentle Girl

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

Anything in the MCU or general superhero content.

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.)

I love fandom so much. I’m sort of facetious about being obsessed with people who aren’t real on my other social media accounts, but in all seriousness, being able to escape the real world to get excited over characters and relationships that face their own struggles, triumphs, and emotions is such a gift. So often they speak so powerfully on the human experience—How can you read, or watch, any of Tolkien’s work and not be moved by what he has to say about humanity and the power of good? Even if the stories are fictional, the messages they impart about life aren’t, which is what I love so much about them.

[yeojaa]

SUGAR HIGH, chapter xiii. (w. JJK)

You're not entirely sure when it happened, though you'd come to terms with it. You'd counted the days, waiting for the inevitable. You'd truly thought you'd be okay, but by the broken, half-beating thing in your chest - you knew you'd never really been prepared.

alt summary.  You thought you’d known real love and maybe you had - it just wasn’t with who you thought.

pairing.  jeon jungkook.  mentions/involvement of ot7.

tags.  angst, break up, post-break up, comfort, OT7, slow burn, friendship, moving on, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, emotional baggage, fluff, canon compliant, jeon jungkook is bad at feelings, jeon jungkook is a good friend, jeon jungkook is a sweetheart.

rating.  general (for now?)

word count.  ~1800

chapter 13.  Like We Used To

When you're like this, it's easy to fall back into old routines and forget how his mouth had burned imaginary paths across your skin, setting you alight like kindling.  It's far easier to separate the two versions of him as he stands beside you, hip knocking against yours as his enthused laughter wraps you up in your own little universe of two.

You stay like that for a long time - longer than you should, after all that's transpired.  It's hard not to when his arms feel like home, the only thing capable of holding you together.

You know it's selfish, though.  Can feel it in the beginnings of your bones and through every fibre, colouring you black and blue from the inside out. 

Still, It isn't enough to make you stop.

(Just a few minutes more.)

Eventually, Jungkook shifts, though he does his best to keep from jostling you.  You'd been so peaceful in his arms, the sobbing, broken girl seemingly a lifetime away by the time sunlight began to stream through the large uncovered windows.  You meet his eyes curiously, chin canting with the same emotion.

"I need to pee,"  he says apologetically, like he's at all to blame for the basic human instinct.  At least it makes you laugh, short and sweet.  He wants to bottle that sound and keep it under his pillow, absorb it into his skin through contact that's never quite enough.  You're so pretty like this, before the weight of the day has settled on you.  He thinks about telling you but doesn't, because that's not the kind of relationship you have and well, he really does need to get up.

You notice the discomfort because otherwise you're sure he'd never push you off.  He never rushed you.  "Oh, sorry."

Despite your motion to extract your limbs - your hand from his chest, his legs from beneath you, fingers from hair - he seems reluctant to let you go, squeezing you infinitesimally tighter.  You feel it all the way through to your heart, the muscle stuttering to life like his touch is a defibrillator bringing you back from the edge.

"Just one more minute."

You're not sure who's indulging who when you relax back into him, your tired body sinking into all the crevices between you.  It's only when you're nestled into the crown of his head, the velveteen strands tickling your nose, that you speak.  "I'm sorry about last night."

It's not enough, you know, to say these words and offer no explanation.  You also know he'll never press you, because he'll be there when you're ready.  Such a shame that you're not sure whether that day will ever come, but you keep that locked tightly behind the cage of your teeth, swallowing the key.

"Stop apologizing,"  he chides with what you think is a roll of his eyes.  It certainly sounds like a roll of his eyes.

"You're going to be exhausted today,"  you return.  You can already see it in the molting beneath his eyes, the way the hollows look heavy enough for you to curl into.  Guilt returns in waves, fingers tracing the purple that mars his complexion.  He leans into your touch, humming affectionately.

"You can bring me coffee.  I'll be fine."  The words are pressed into the palm of your hand and it feels almost like something else.

You're tearing yourself away from him before he can react.  You don't catch the look of hurt that flickers across his face when you're across the bed, tangled in his sheets.  But he sees the way you look like a frightened animal, your hair sticking up in all directions and your hand shoved between your knees.  You won't look at him, though you sound a little crazy when you sing-song, "you should get up."

He's racking his brain for what he did wrong when he stands and moves toward the adjoined bathroom.

"I'll be quick, then you can brush your teeth."  Because just like at your place, you have a little drawer.  It's been wholly untouched for the better part of the last three years - the duration of your relationship with him - but Jungkook kept it regardless.  He even occasionally used your facial cleansing pads.  They just smelt so nice - like green tea and honey - and it was a nice reminder of you.

True to his word, the door swings open almost as quickly as it had closed and he's peeking around it with a toothbrush jammed against his cheek.  He waves yours at you, toothpaste already spread neatly across the top, and you're shuffling over, throw tossed haphazardly over your shoulders.

"Don't get any toothpaste on that,"  he warns around a mouthful of bristles.

You both watch - you in amusement and he in horror - as a tiny glob of spittle lands on your shoulder.  The speed with which he wipes it off has you laughing as you go about brushing your own teeth, meeting his pout in the mirror.  

When you're like this, it's easy to fall back into old routines and forget how his mouth had burned imaginary paths across your skin, setting you alight like kindling.  It's far easier to separate the two versions of him as he stands beside you, hip knocking against yours as his enthused laughter wraps you up in your own little universe of two.

Because this is your best friend, the same boy you've known since you were four feet tall.  The one that had pushed you into the ocean when you'd been too afraid to dip your toes, dragging you in like you weighed nothing.  He was the one who'd nearly burnt your house down in attempts to mimic your father's bungeo-ppang, placing the blame solely on you because he knew you could get away with it.  

Jungkook might've been the person you were now, somehow, heels over head for, but that didn't erase everything else.

He spits, rinsing all traces of mint from his mouth and toothbrush before slotting it back into place in the little bunny-shaped brush holder.  "We have the day off today."  The stare he levels you with is expectant but soft, like hope dangling from a gossamer thin string.

"No, you don't,"  you state matter-of-factly, returning your toothbrush to your own fox-shaped holder beside his.  You momentarily the lock of confusion that flickers across his face, cutting him off when he begins to speak.  "You're busy with me."

Sometimes, your mood swings give him whiplash.  This time, he doesn't mind.  "Oh, right.  How could I forget?"

The two of you stumble out of his bedroom a short while later.  The apartment is eerily quiet for being occupied by seven men but you take the opportunity to throw yourself into the nearest seat. 

"There's not much in here."  His voice carries from the kitchen where he's poking into the fridge.  

"We can order in.  Or whatever."  Honestly, it doesn't really matter to you.  You've always indulged in Jungkook's eating habits but find yours significantly more reasonable, though that's not really saying a lot.

Your legs are shifted, raised to make room for him as he settles down beside you before allowing your feet to return to their rightful place across his lap.  You admire the way he deftly peels the apple in his hands, setting near continuous rope of skin on the side table.  It feels oddly domestic. 

"It's too hard for delivery drivers to get into the complex,"  he reminds you.  One of the downfalls of living such a life. 

"Then I guess we'll starve,"  you say, solemnly.  His snort shakes his shoulders and he swats at your socked foot, making you dig the heel of your other foot into his muscled thigh.  This elicits a high-pitched whine and you can't help but snicker, though that sound quickly turns to shriek.  "No!"

Because he's trapping your knee in the thread of his elbow and his fingers, so long and capable, are clutching your suddenly bare foot in an iron grip.  There's mischief written into every line of his DNA, twinkling brightly in the depths of his dark stare.  "Say sorry."  His fingers brush experimentally against the sensitive sole. 

You nearly scream.  If it were anyone else, you think you might've been able to break free but it's not and your thrashing only prompts him to cinch his grip tighter, the whole weight of his body pressed into your legs. 

"Say sorry,"  he repeats through a chain link of bared teeth.  It would be intimidating if it weren't so goddamn pouty.

When you don't respond, he's repeating the motions.  Your lungs feel like they're about to explode.  "No!  I'm your noona - stop it!"

Another snort, one that goes unpunished, and he puffs a breath out that fans his hair from his face.  You both know it's a rotten attempt to get away.  "You're older than me by less than two months.  Don't pull that."  As if to drive his point home, he tickles you again.  First, on the sensitive parts of your feet and then everywhere else.  His fingers never stay in one place for too long, seeking purchase at the ditch of your knees and then higher, across your hips.  

He's all but sprawled across you, your head thrown back as tears spill down your cheeks.  It's a very strange sight.

"What are you guys doing?" 

The question punctuates the air and you're grateful for the way Jungkook leaps away, the only colour in his face a brilliant scarlet that tinges his ears and creeps across his chest.  You use the sudden freedom to draw as many excruciating breaths in as you can but otherwise remain slumped against the cushions.  Your entire body feels like overstimulated jelly.

You hear more than see Hoseok above your heads, his amusement infectious.  "Soomi-ya, seriously.  I think you woke everyone in the house up.  I thought someone was dying out here."

"It was his fault!"  A feeble attempt at blame falls from your lips, though it's quickly met with a rebuff.

Jungkook is indignant, doe-eyes wide.  Bastard.  "You started it!"

"You're both terrible."  It's not the dancer this time, but Seokjin.  He's somehow effortlessly put together at the early hour, RJ cradled under his arm.  He stifles a yawn as he joins your little group, taking a seat in the single chair to your right.  "Why are you up so early?"

"I was hungry."  

You can't help but stare at Jungkook, who meets your eyes with a tiny smile.  There he was, protecting you even when you didn't need it.  

"There's nothing to eat."  Hoseok again, this time from the kitchen.

"We know,"  the three of you chorus.  It prompts all of you to fall into laughter, the sound tinkling like bells in the faded morning light.  You're reminded, once again, of how nice it is that the Bangtan boys are home again.

notes.  hope you liked this semi-fluff because you're in for a world of pain soon.  lolz~

[jamesmarlowe]

『ANTON THIEMKE ❙ CIS-MALE』 ⟿ looks like JAMES MARLOWE is here for HIS SENIOR year as a FINE ARTS student. He is 21 years old & known to be CLEVER, INVENTIVE, UNRELIABLE & EGOTISTICAL. They’re living in NOLAND, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ SLOTH. 25. EST. SHE/HER.

hi hello welcome 2 my twisted mind ☺️ marlowe is a character i’m still fine-tuning bc he’s brand-new, so this is unfortunately.... a bit of a mess.... and mostly made up on the spot.... c’est la vie!!

(a late addition but u can also peep his weheartit collection here 4 some vibes)

his government name is james marlowe but he only goes by marlowe & only introduces himself as marlowe like he’s madonna or sting....  most ppl who know him (apart from like close friends) probably don’t even know what his first name is. maybe he doesn’t have one!

hails from Appalachia, specifically a trailer park in a poor-as-dirt stretch of Virginia where he was born n raised, baby. he’s Appalachian white trash and not afraid to admit it. marlowe’s very casual about his upbringing and his dumpster fire of a family (no less than three relatives are currently incarcerated, one of which is his older brother who’s probably serving a minor sentence for whatever dumb shit Tim Riggins got got for in FNL or like, selling illegal fireworks out of his trunk :/ ). the only thing he’s a little self-conscious about is his twang which he’s mostly suppressed by now, but other than that, he’s got no shame in where he comes from bc lbr no authentic artist ever came from money anyway!

born sandwiched in the middle of five siblings, marlowe’s always been wild and creative and impulsive, a loud-mouthed kid with too much to say for his own good, prone 2 getting in trouble but learning absolutely nothing from it. it was his mission in life to be Different from all the other kids who grew up where he grew up, with the way he talked, dressed, acted, because he knew that he was destined for bigger n better things so it was just a matter of getting other ppl to believe it, & then seeing how far a little talent and a lot of charisma would take him >:)

from age 8 onwards, he told people he was an “artist” and that became his primary identity. when he was 16 he completed an independent sculpture project (called “Skyscraper”) where he constructed a 20-foot tower made out of junk collected from around the trailer park and then glued Barbies n other dolls all clawing over each other to get to the top, smack dab in the middle of Main Street and refused to take it down even when the local fire department showed up 2 threaten him with fines. it did eventually get taken down bc it was ‘structurally unsound’ and someone nearly got concussed by a falling mannequin head, but at least it got some attention from local newspapers and w/ that as the crown jewel in his portfolio, marlowe got into a few different art/liberal arts schools the following year. radcliffe was the only one who offered a partial scholarship and the east coast sounded nice n far from home, so anyways lets go ✈️ college 

FAST FORWARD its senior year babey and marlowe’s been making the most of his time here at radcliffe. he’s a fine arts major but specializes in mixed media sculptures (and probably is really shit at most of his other classes, like art theory where u actually have to read textbooks? still life drawing? boring. yawn. won’t do it.) his entire profile as an artist i’m cribbing from Rachel Harrison bc I saw her exhibition at the whitney a little while ago and her sculptures made me go ?????¿¿¿¿¿ which i think is exactly the kind of bizarre nonsense that marlowe is going for with his “art”. feast your eyes on these masterpieces. the joke of it all is that marlowe is the first to admit that his art isn’t like.... good. but his philosophy is that if people respond to it & praise it like it’s art, then by definition, it’s art. and if it gets him places (like it got him onto Cultured Magazine’s “30 Young Artists To Watch This Decade″ list), then yeehaw!

When he’s not busy creating new monstrosities, marlowe takes one fat nap per day (usually at a time when he has class) and is otherwise a very social creature who needs constant attention. he’s got a lot of friends and is always looking to make more, not in a #fake way but just as a person who genuinely likes being around people. he very quickly gets bored if left on his own, so he’s prone to following people around campus like a stray cat regardless of whether or not they tell him to shoo. he dorms at Noland but is almost always found in other houses, often crashing in other people’s rooms (needs to be close to his friends or He’ll Die), and he definitely frequents parties, bc marlowe never passes up an opportunity to drink other people’s booze and get a lil messy and Chaotic. he’s [jim halpert voice] not a slut, but who knows? he’s kinda a slut! he’s also definitely pulled another stunt similar to Skyscraper by taking over the quad for a guerrilla art installation with his sculptures (and without the school’s permission oops) which may be the basis for some connections if ppl know him from that particular exploit!!

in summary..... marlowe can be a bit up his own ass at times, but being around him is generally a Good Time bc he’s easy-going and friendly and always down for anything, always. litcherally zero impulse control so nothing gets in the way of a dumb idea that might potentially make for a good story. perhaps he’s not the most reliable person, so don’t expect a prompt text back if ur in a life or death situation, and he doesn’t care very much about anything, so ur setting urself up for disappointment if you do expect him to care about something (the fact that he’s never been in a long-term relationship... very telling). all he wants to do is just have! fun all the time! he’s trying to scam his way into the American Dream with his dumb art, so that he can live a good life and maybe get rich and famous and eventually party at Art Basel in Miami with Frank Ocean! is that really so much to ask!

appearance: marlowe’s very vain and a lot of thought goes into his appearance even when (especially when) it doesn’t look like he’s done anything but roll straight out of bed. all of his outfits are as outrageous as his sculptures are ugly. think mismatched prints and loud colors, silk shirts gaping open like he got tired after the first three buttons, a pawn’s shop worth of jewelry, weird dangly earrings w/ feathers or tiny charms, tinted yellow or pink sunglasses, sometimes a bandana around his neck, just for extra flavor. his hair always has to look perfectly tousled; u can catch him checking out his reflection in pretty much every mirrored surface. at least half the surface area of his body is covered in tattoos & he’ll suggest getting more during every drunken night out, which... is why he has so many by now!

connections: to be quite honest its 2 am and i feel all of my higher brain functions shutting down so i’m gonna make these very simple n straightforward, but we can always workshop!!!! pls feel free to message me even if none of these strike ur fancy :0)

peers in the arts - friends, acquaintances, rivals, probably some former group project members holding a grudge....

fellow party animals who don’t mind sharing when marlowe inevitably mooches off their alcohol and drugs :)

unlikely friends!!!!! it’d be fun to have a friendship dynamic with someone who’s very different from him!!

a roommate in Noland... possibly one he’s not on good terms w/... even tho marlowe hardly EVER sleeps in his own dorm room, he uses it as a storage locker for all his “found” art materials. i can imagine that living in that mess would try the limits of anyone’s sanity :)  

enemies - they can hate his whole Genius Artist shtick and they’d be valid :/

fellow insomniacs! marlowe is very much a night owl (regular naps during the day may be 2 blame but oh well) so he needs a fellow nocturnal to hit up the late-night McDonald’s drive thru with him and then lay on the grass lookin at the stars and contemplating life’s great mysteries while eating chicken mcnuggets 

exes - idk if u can even call them tht when his past “relationships” have all had a lifespan of six weeks or less, but hey there’s drama in that too!!

fwb - i don’t think marlowe’s the type 2 be juggling too many fwb/hook-ups at one time simply because That’s A Lot of Work. that being said... he never likes to sleep alone ;) 

[laulink]

hello again! i sent that last ask, and i think you just wrote a story! i liked how everything worked out and the roles that the characters continue to play in each other's lives. it got me thinking of more questions that mainly involve the romance itself. when did they start dating, who made the first move, who proposed, how did Ghira and Kali react to meeting Weiss, how many kids do they have, and anything else you can think of. i hope this isn't too much trouble!

Not at all ! Honestly, I’ve been spending waaayyyyy too much time thinking about all this so it’s nice to see that someone is interested in hearing more x)

(putting my answer under a read more though because it’s HUGE)

For when they start dating, it kinda depends if I want to stay really canon compliant or if I want to have Weiss and Blake start dating earlier. I can stay canon compliant by having Blake and Yang grow apart at the end of the war, each pursuing different goals while Blake and Weiss start spending more and more time together because of the SDC and the WF. Blake and Yang would end up agreeing that the war changed them, a lot, but now that it’s over and they’re healing, they realise that they’re better off as friends rather than lovers and have an amicable break up. Pretty soon after, Blake starts to notice more things about Weiss, like how she plays with her hair when she’s thinking, how she bites her lower lip when something is bothering her, how her eyes sparkle when she sees or hears something funny, etc... and slowly she falls in love. Weiss has had a crush on Blake for years now, since their time in Beacon, but she never told anyone because she knew Blake had feelings for Yang and she just wanted her to be happy, even if it hurt her to see her with someone else. But now that Blake and Yang have broken up and Blake spends so much time with Weiss, our dear heiress’ feelings come back full force and she can’t help but hope that her feelings might be reciprocated...

One evening after a party in Vacuo both of them attended for political reasons, Blake accompanies Weiss back to her hotel room. They both had a couple drinks during the evening and are under a slight buzz, laughing more easily than usual. When they finally arrive at Weiss’ room, they stand in front of the door a moment too long, not wanting to part just yet. No one knows who leaned in first, but they soon found themselves kissing, softly at first, then more and more passionnately. They decided to stop, however, aware that it wouldn’t do them any good to go too fast, and agreed to meet in the morning for breakfast, then parted ways with one last kiss. Both of them had very pleasant dreams that night~

After that, they decided to start dating and see where it would lead them.

If I decide to be less canon compliant, I think I’d have Blake and Weiss start dating during V6 or 7, support each other through Adam’s death and all the Atlas and Schnee family bullshit going on right now. It wouldn’t change a lot of things for the story and, at the end of the war, they’d start working on rebuilding their world together, with the SDC and the WF.

Whatever the way and moment they get together though doesn’t have much influence on the rest of their story together. For example, in both cases, Kali and Ghira were delighted to know that Blake had started dating Weiss. They met her briefly at Haven and considered her a delight to talk to, very kind, respectful and polite, but with a sharp tongue when needed. Ghira is particularly fond of her since Weiss is hard to intimidate, knows what she wants and can be very determined, but also open to discussion and adjusting her stance on a multitude of matters. Kali likes to act like a mom around her (though she’s the same with Ruby and Yang too, so nothing really special there).

Winter, if Weiss and Blake started dating in Atlas, would be a bit suspicious of Blake at first. She respects her sister’s decisions and wouldn’t dare interfere in her love life, but she still has a bit of a tendency to see Weiss as her baby sister, so she’d give Blake a bit of a hard time at first, using every opportunity she gets to interrogate her on her intentions toward Weiss, why she wanted to date Weiss and all that stuff. Yang finds it hilarious but can also relate and supports Winter as a protective big sister x) If Weiss and Blake start dating after the war though, it would be a context where Winter had had time to get to learn to know Blake and saw Blake’s and Weiss’ growing feelings for each other, so she’d be a lot more supportive of the new relationship and only threaten Blake’s life if she broke Weiss’ heart as a joke (or is it ? =P).

At whatever time the girls start dating, Willow and Whitley would be rather supportive. If it’s in V7 already, they wouldn’t know right away and would only learn about the relationship after they started fixing their relationships with Weiss, so they’d be surprised, but would see how happy Blake makes Weiss, so they’d wish them the best. If it’s after the war, it would be at a point in time where Willow and Whitley are rather close to Weiss and have good relationships with her, so they’d be even more supportive and encourage her to pursue Blake in their own ways (Whitley may or may not try to play matchmaker =3)

The proposal would occur a few years after the end of the war, probably around 3 years after Weiss and Blake started dating. Remnant is getting back on its feet, the SDC is getting ever closer to the point of equality between human and Faunus Weiss wants it to reach and the Kingdoms are more and more open to listening to the White Fang and giving Faunus citizens more rights. Blake and Weiss both figure it would be the best time to get married. They had already talked about it a year or so earlier, but both agreed it would be best to wait until things settled down a bit more for both of them before they decided to throw themselves into organising a wedding. So when the time finally seems to be right, it is all a matter of who will propose first. They are both sort of expecting the other to propose sooner or later, but Weiss is still enchanted and overwhelmed by emotion when Blake goes down on one knee after a romantic date in a quiet park in Vale, near New Beacon. The wedding is held in Atlas because most of their friends and family live their or near the Kingdom and it’s easier to reach than Menagerie, but the girls make sure to incorporate elements of both traditional Atlesian and Mistralian weddings (since I headcanon that Blake, with the name Belladonna and her Japanese aesthetics, is of Mistralian descent and would follow their traditions for ceremonies like weddings). It is not a quiet or private affair since Weiss and Blake are such important public figures and their wedding is one more ray of hope toward the end of the centuries old war between humans and Faunus, but they still manage to have their dream day without having to mix too much politics into it (Ghira, Kali, Willow, Winter and Whitley make sure of that).

Their first child is born about a year after the wedding and is named Winry Belladonna-Schnee. Weiss liked the idea of continuing the tradition of names starting with a W, at least for her first child, and Blake had no objection, especially after Weiss told her that Winry was the name of her grandmother, Willow’s mother and the reason the tradition even existed. Winry is a very smart child, well-behaved when she has to be, but also mischievous at times, especially when she is with her cousin Yue or her younger sister Keyla. She looks like a carbon copy of Blake, but with Weiss’ white, straight hair and blue eyes. She has a patch of black hair cutting through the white and falling over her forehead as well as two cat ears like Blake. She’s always preferred to sport chin-length hair and mostly white clothing.

Yue, born two months before Winry, is Winter and Yang’s daughter. She looks like Yang, but with white hair and blue eyes. Most of her personality comes from Yang, though her expressions are very reminiscent of Winter’s. She grows up alongside Winry, more like sisters than cousins since they live together and are so close in age, which makes them very close friends.

Both Yue and Winry want to become Huntresses, but while Yue wants to be free and travel through the world like Yang, therefore deciding to attend New Beacon, Winry prefers to enter Atlas Academy and aim to become the next General after her Aunt Winter retires.

Keyla, born three years after Winry, has long and slightly curly black hair like Blake with two black cat ears atop her head, but her eyes are heterochromatic : right eye a warm amber and left eye a soft blue. If she wears a colored lens over her left eye, one could believe she is a younger version of Blake. She is calm and quiet most of the time, but can also be quite passionnate and eloquent when defending something that matters to her. She has always been interested in politics and hesitates between joining the White Fang or trying to become part of the Atlesian politic circle. She knows how to fight and built herself a weapon in case she ever needs to defend herself, but she doesn’t want to become a Huntress (a shame, according to all the Huntsmen and Huntresses who saw her fight). Since she was a child, she has always been close to Summer, Ruby and Penny’s daughter, but only after her twelth birthday did she realise that her feelings might go beyond friendship. Summer and her start dating around the age of 15, to the delight of everyone around them who were growing tired of their obliviousness and awkwardness.

Finally, Tanya, Weiss and Blake’s third and last child, was born four years after Keyla. She is a bright and energetic girl with long, white, slightly curly hair and blue eyes with a set of white cat ears atop her head. Much like Summer, she is sort of a “mad scientist”, a genius in her own right, though her calling rests with Dust rather than machines and programs like for Summer. When she first discovers, at age 10, the wonders of the researches on Dust, Tanya becomes passionnate and studies everything she can on the matter. She dreams of joining the BSDC’s reasearch and development team thanks to her own merit rather than her family name. 

Nuts and Dolts bonus (because I mentioned their kid in all this and I think she deserves some more details) : Summer Rose, daughter of Ruby Rose and Penny Polendina, born six months after Keyla. She has long, dark-red hair, nearly black near the roots and a lighter shade of red at the tips. She wears a black bow behind her head, like her Ma (Penny) and adopted her Mom’s belief that combat skirts are the best (though she is not a fighter herself and only wears one for the style). She is a little genius when it comes to everything mechanic and is quite good at programming as well. At age 10, she is her grandfather’s best ever apprentice and at 15 years old, she starts her formal studies at Atlas Tech and Mech Academy (name is totally made up, but that’s basically where Atlas teaches all of its future scientists, no matter the discipline). At the same time, she starts dating her friend Keyla who she has always been close to, more so than to anyone else her age. Summer is a very lively girl, so much so that she’s often hard to keep up with, especially when she is very excited and uses her semblance, Teleportation, while she talks or works. It is basically in-between Ruby’s and Raven’s own semblances : Summer can’t teleport as far as Raven can, but she isn’t bound to one or multiple people, instead being able to teleport anywhere in a 2km radius. On the downside, she can’t take a lot of people with her, the best she has ever managed being five, and anything or anyone that touches her and is not the thing she is standing on will be teleported with her. Summer loves her semblance and often uses it more or less unconsciously when she’s excited, teleporting a couple of meters away when she’s switching ideas or emphasizing a point, etc. She has a lot of energy, but usually manages it quite well when she is not working, in which case she can easily get caught up in her own head and become hyper-focused on the task at hand and/or her theories and experiments. Keyla and her make for a sweet pair and get along well, even when Summer gets engrossed in her work. Keyla is usually the only one who can get Summer to rest or eat something when she’s working on something.

Elderburn bonus : I already stated that Winter and Yang had a daughter named Yue, around the same age as Winry, but they also have a son, Tai, who is also very close in age to one of his cousins, Tanya. He’s a very sweet boy, has blond hair, blue eyes and the most beautiful smile you will ever see~ He chose his name at 7 years old when he told his mothers he felt like being a boy. Both Yang and Winter were very supportive of him and offered to help him decide on a name, but he didn’t need their help to choose Tai, saying that it only makes sense for him to be called that since his grandfather was Taiyang and his mother is Yang : someone had the pick the “Tai” part of the name. (Yang laughed a lot at the way he said that, but agreed it was a good name and Tai never regretted his choice) He takes some time to figure out what he wants to do with his life because he isn’t interested in being a Huntsman, but also doesn’t have a passion like Summer or Tanya, nor an innate talent like Keyla. After he helped tutor one of his classmates in high school though, he realises he loves teaching and since he already knew he loved biology, he decided he would become a biology teacher. His students love him because his classes are lively and easy to follow and understand and he’s always really sweet.

Weapons bonus : none of the canon cast’s weapons change, but I had some ideas for the children’s weapons. Winry fights with a chokuto or a katana and her fighting style is very similar to Adam’s and Raven’s. Raven is actually the one to teach her how to best fight with her weapon, since Blake, Weiss and Winter could only teach her the basics on that matter. Yue usually fights with two gauntlets similar to Ember Celica, but she also has two sabers at her sides and is a terribly dangerous opponent when she takes them out. They are not her favoured weapon though because she prefers fighting with her fists and appreaciates that there’s less of a risk of accidentally cutting someone’s limb off with her fists rather than a blade. For those of you who played FE3H, Keyla’s weapon is very similar to the sword of the Creator : it is a sword divided in a lot of small segments that can separate themselves from each other to extend and bend the weapon, turning it into a sort of sharp, thick whip. Keyla can wrap it around limbs or pieces of furnitures and such or just extend it to hit opponents while staying out of their range. Summer fights with a halberd and, although she’s not interested in being a Huntress, she’s terribly good with it. Unlike her two sisters and eldest cousin, Tanya has no interest in fighting, therefore she only learns the basics of sword fight, adopting a rapier much like her Mother’s own weapon, with a Dust filled barrel. She also had her Mother unlock her aura and teach her how to use her Glyphs in case she needed to protect herself, but she’s not a particularly good fighter, especially compared to her sisters. Tanya doesn’t care though, seeing as she doesn’t think she’ll ever need to fight in her line of work and she’s happy with studying her Dust even if she’s not the best at using it in battle. Finally, Tai is a similar case as Tanya : he doesn’t care about fighting, actually dislikes the idea of hurting others, but learned to defend himself from Grimm and potential human attackers. Yang taught him martial arts and Tai always carries a pair of bracelets Summer designed for him that can turn into gauntlets. They don’t fire bullets like Ember Celica, but they make his hits hurt that much more and blades can sprout from between his fingers if he wants to.

In terms of Semblances, all of the kids (except Summer, of course) have the Schnee family semblance. All of them unlocked their aura and learned to use their Glyphs, including the Summoning. Winry and Yue, thanks to their training, are the best Glyph users when it comes to “basic” Glyphs and how to use them in battle, but Keyla also has a very creative way of using her wind Glyphs to direct her sword once it’s in “whip mode” and is the best at Summoning.

...

Wow, that was a lot. Huuummm... Hope you liked the read ? ^^’

[here--be--lions]

Dark Age Dark Age

ok so I finished Dark Age today and wanted to give me thoughts. Lemme tell you, I had miiiiixed fuckin feelings. Spoilers below the line

I couldn’t put the damn thing down, but jesus christ I felt so stressed and awful the whole time I was reading it. Too bleak and brutal for my taste personally. I know the books have always had a streak of that in them but this was too much for me. So to start off, here’s what I didn’t like (feel free to skip this chunk if you don’t want my whining - positive stuff and general thoughts to come after!):

I felt like there was too much rape and torture in this one, especially the former. It’s discussed waaaay more frequently and openly than in any of the other books, and after a while it’s just like... we get it. It’s war and these guys are bad guys. Can we talk about something else pls

Nothing good happened to... anyone we like? For the whole book? With a few minor exceptions. But a brief synopsis of the book could go like this: Darrow’s fucked, Orion’s fucked, Alexandar’s fucked, Dancer’s fucked, Daxo’s fucked, Mustang’s fucked, Lyria’s fucked, Volga’s fucked, Mustang’s fucked again, Sevro’s fucked, Pebble and Clown are fucked, Victra’s fucked, Darrow’s fucked again, Alexander’s fucked again, Screwface is fucked, Sefi’s fucked, Ephraim’s fucked... You get it. Practically the only good thing that happened to anyone was “somehow didn’t die in the face of certain extermination,” which is less satisfying than it is mildly relieving.

Very few of the quiet moments that I loved so much in the first trilogy. Conversations between Mustang and Darrow (I was gunning for a reunion at the end, didn’t even get that), Darrow and Sevro, etc etc. We got a few with Mustang and Kavax and Pax and Ephraim (who I like now??? and also rip? more on that later). Just everyone I love getting fucked

I feel like the Adrius clone thing is a cop-out. Adrius was one of my favorite characters from the original trilogy, but his arc was completed, his death was immensely satisfying, and bringing him back now seems cheap. It’s not like the book was lacking in villains

Which brings me to my last complaint: too many villains! Too many! Too much going on! The Society, which is itself fractured into different ‘groups’ (Atalantia vs. Ajax vs. Atlas vs. Lysander), the Red Hand, the Syndicate and the Boneriders (not enough for it to be Lilath, also have to have Clone Adrius), the Rim (and where the fuck was Dido, btw?), the Vox, the Ascomanni, Apollonius... Felt a bit all over the place

The bleakness was such that any victory by our folks that may come at the end of book 6 seems like it will just be insanely unrealistic

All that said, I think I’ll have to wait to see how 6 ties some of this stuff together to form a full opinion. I can see myself changing my mind about some of this stuff. Maybe a book 6 victory will be all the sweeter for how utterly depressing this book was. Ok! Whining over! Here’s are my neutral and positive thoughts!

Darrow, Virginia, Victra and Sevro are alive (for now). So are the kids, and so are Cassius, Lyria and Volga. And let me tell you, Pierce deffo did a good job of convincing me that anyone could die this time around.

Cassius lives! I know we all kind of called it, but still... nice to be right. At the end there, I kind of figured that either Darrow was toast, or Cassius was coming. I’m glad it was the latter

I WAS FUCKING RIGHT ABOUT LILATH! Right after reading IG I called that she survived the crash and became the Syndicate queen! All hail my powers of prediction. Definitely did not suspect a thing about clone Adrius though (was there any foreshadowing to that at all? Hit me up w/ those receipts if you have em)

I read the Day of Red Doves at work and felt so upset for... hours. Honestly how dare they.

Speaking of, I loved the Virginia POVs in this book, they did not disappoint! Still my favorite character by far, and I was happy to see things end on a hopeful note with her and Victra and Kavax and Pax

Ephraim and Lyria really came into their own in this book. I hated Ephraim in IG, and I was super bummed to see him go at the end of DA. Loved his friendship with Pax, TG for that kid taking his Zoladone away. Lyria turned into a badass, I loved seeing her almost singlehandedly take down the Red Hand, and I’m super interested to see where the Figment thing is going. Also love her and Volga and Victra’s bonding

Fuuuuuuck Lysander, fuck that stupid self-righteous prick. Fuck him especially for killing Alexandar. I know there’s more growth and story arc coming for him with the whole “erased memories/my lover of political convenience killed my parents and I hate her” thing, but I’m not here for a redemption arc rn. Put him in the ground. Lysander is the new Roque. Cassius says you’re welcome for keeping you alive, thanks for nothing, you absolute jackass.

Volga’s gonna be a power player in Book 6. She’s gonna win over the Obsidian and save everyone’s ass when all hope seems lost, and that is the one and only prediction I have for you at the moment.

I’m really hoping that book 6 will be a more focused conflict, and that for much or most of it, our faves will be together making their stand on Mars. I love the OGs (Darrow, Mustang, Sevro, Victra, Cassius), but they’ve always been at their best when they’re together, and I think it’d be a shame if we don’t get a big fuckin heap of that in book 6 after what we went through in Dark Age.

Thoughts? Predictions? Theories? Pushback on my complaints? Send it over. This goddamn book is all I’ll be thinking about for days.

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

24 lessons I learned before turning 24

I considered writing this post before @taylorswift‘s Elle cover and then writing it in another 10 hours after sleeping seeing as it’s around 4am here, but after reading the piece, I felt the need to write this now. It’s not the first time I’ve written a piece like this, but it is the first time in over half a decade, so we’ll see how it goes.

ONE: Learn how to forgive yourself. My god is this one hard, and it’s a battle I still lose from time to time, but it saved my life. As harsh as it sounds, whatever mistakes you made in the past are exactly that; in the past. If you have the chance to, go and apologise and make amends, but never let your mistakes consume you. There’s no way to control other people’s reactions. But forgiven or not, you have to��live with your choices. So let them be a learning curve and not a stop sign for future endeavours.

TWO: Learn to trust others. In our individualistic society, it’s often easy to feel like you’re alone. More so when your family and schooling environments promote the idea of life only having ‘winners’ and ‘losers’. But the truth is you don’t need to take on the world alone. There is always someone who loves you and wants the best for you. And maybe sometimes you get it wrong and let the wrong people in, but you can’t let that make you cold and unfeeling. The human race is a social one. We were not designed to live alone and never should force ourselves to.

THREE: You are not responsible for fixing other people and they’re not responsible for fixing you. Everybody on this Earth has a story; some kind of heartbreak they’ve had to endure. While human interaction is vital in recovery, all relationships must be give and take. You cannot expect emotional support 24/7 and then refuse to give it back. Likewise, you are not selfish for walking away from someone who has no intention of fixing themselves and just wants a manic pixie girl. Because either way, you will end up alone.

FOUR: Jealousy is deadlier than poison. Growing up in a tear down culture is never easy. I couldn’t name you one person who hasn’t been made to feel insecure or less than what they are. But you can’t let that control you. As I already mentioned, your true loved ones will love you regardless of if the flaws you see in yourself are real or not. Comparing yourself to others will destroy not only yourself and your happiness, but your relationships and loved ones’ happiness too.

FIVE: Communication is key. The saying is right; assumptions really do make a fool of you and me. The amount of relationships I’ve unnecessarily lost because I assumed they chose someone over me or they hated me is shameful. But it goes the other way too. You are only going to make yourself miserable if you keep making excuses for why they don’t make the effort or learn to communicate what they want from you. Anyone who truly loves you will be willing to listen and discuss issues. Don’t destroy yourself over mixed messages.

SIX: The past is the past. You are where you are now for a reason. Unless you’ve found a way to build a time machine that allows you to change things, you will never be able to change the past. Maybe things would have been better if you never got mentally ill or your family stayed together or whatever else has happened to you. But at the end of the day, ‘what ifs’ will end up killing you. All you can do is put your best foot forward today and trust that it will lead you to where you want to be.

SEVEN: Not everything is personal. As a kid, I was very sensitive... I still am, but I’ve definitely toned it down over the years. Because as time has gone on, I’ve realised that not everything is an attack on myself and everything I believe in and not every criticism is there just to be mean. I learned this the hard way when my 11th grade teacher used to mark the work by only pointing out what we needed to fix. As a child who was academically praised a lot, it was a blow and I cried a ridiculous amount of tears. But it made me better, not only academically, but at spotting constructive criticism for plain rudeness.

EIGHT: Having one best friend is a myth. Relationships are complex and everyone is looking for different things in each relationship. I remember as a child stressing over not only thinking that I was no one else’s best friend, but at the fact I couldn’t choose one person as mine. The typical questions of ‘who do you go to most for support?’ didn’t help much either as it was so case dependant. Then one day, I remember telling one of my best friends that I had several. I remember being terrified that I offended them... but instead they simply said “me too”. It was the most freeing experience.

NINE: Sometimes your (and others’) best isn’t enough. In life, we all play the cards we’ve been given. And sometimes, we get winning hands or at least come out even. But sometimes, and often without realising, we come up empty handed; and that empty hand hurts others outside ourselves. And those others are allowed to be hurt at that while still recognising you did your best. This is something it took me so long to accept... especially in terms of my mother. Because the truth is, I think she did do her best raising myself and my siblings, especially given how little responsibility my father took over us. But it doesn’t change the fact I have scars from my upbringing. But accepting you can feel hurt and acknowledge another’s effort is a step forward and I wish I had done it sooner.

TEN: Know who you are and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I’m grateful that on the whole, I learned this relatively early. I may have been overfilled with insecurities as a child, but I knew who I was. Whether it be the things society saw as bad such as poor, emotional, overweight and weird or the good things like kind, intelligent and mature, I knew these things shaped me. So when others spoke badly about me, while I may have shed my tears, I quickly stood up and was able to continue on knowing that they were either wrong or were picking on things I would not allow myself to be ashamed over. The minute you realise you don’t care what those outside your loved ones think of you is the first moment of freedom and though I may have had an easier life had things been different, I wouldn’t change me for the world.

ELEVEN: Being average is not the worst thing in the world. When I was in my early teens, I had my whole life sorted out. I was going to be a world renowned book writer or a doctor or a lawyer... anything to have my name known and to show I was extraordinary. My parents and others also pushed that idea a lot on me. It didn’t matter if it was only a one in a million chance I’d become famous, I was going to get there... and then I got mentally ill. At first it was alright, but the moment I got into a school where they bell curved grades I realised just how average I was. With the exception of Sociology, my grades dropped from high A’s to mostly C’s with a few B’s, my ATAR wasn’t anywhere near high enough to get into the courses I wanted and it hit hard. I remember getting half way through year 11 and considering dropping out because there was just no way I was going to do what I wanted in life. But then the realisation hit me; I am enough. What I have is what a lot of people end up with and it ended up okay for them, so why not me? And that revelation that being a 21st Century woman meant that I could do anything and not that I had to do everything was quite possibly the most relaxing moment of my life.

TWELVE: Not everyone who dislikes you does so because they’re jealous or keeping up appearances. I hate to break it to anyone who still believes it, but the old wife’s tale isn’t true. People generally do not hate you over jealousy. And people certainly didn’t dislike me because I was intelligent or confident, especially ones in middle/high school. They disliked me because I was arrogant and acted like I was better than everyone due to my intelligence. The boy I liked in seventh grade didn’t dislike me because I was unpopular. He disliked me because I acted like one of those ‘nice guys’ from the movies. Sure, there are always going to be that are in fact jealous or want to keep up with the status quo, but in general I’ve found that it’s more likely you have clashing personalities or one of you is a major dick. And sometimes that means you need to check yourself in a mirror before making assumptions. But much like I was saying with things not being personal, as time goes on, you get more intuitive of what are things you need to check and what is just jealousy.

THIRTEEN: Blood is not thicker than water. It turns out the actual quote this misquoted sentence comes from is true. The bonds you choose really are stronger than those you were born with. You do not have to be defined by nor live with your biological family if they constantly mistreat you. There will always be others ready with open arms to love you. Choose what you deserve.

FOURTEEN: Life is strange and sometimes taking a step or two back leads to better steps forwards. When I decided to repeat year 11, I cried for days on end. I felt so incredibly stupid and couldn’t understand how I got to that point. But when I walked into the school on the first day, I reconnected with two old friends, got closer to another one who was repeating with me and made several new ones. I am now still close to the ones I reconnected with and one of the new friends. I also got away from an abusive friendship I had the year before seeing as I no longer had to see him. My grades skyrocketed and I got into university which lead to me finishing a psychology degree last year and currently being halfway through a law one. All of which I’m not sure would have happened had I just continued onto year 12 as planned. So don’t be ashamed if you think you’re taking a step backwards. Chances are you’re heading right where you need to be.

FIFTEEN: Nothing good starts in a getaway car. Taylor Swift is right about this... well typically she’s right in general, but especially this. Jumping into something, or someone as I found out, as a temporary relief to your problems will always end in tears. Learn to deal with your issues face on, even if it means leaving alone, rather than using someone else as a scapegoat. Because end of the day, they may get you from A to B, but you need to remember that they are a real person with real feelings, and even if you jump into something rather than someone, that thing may not always be there and you need to know how to pick yourself up when it’s/they’re gone.

SIXTEEN: It’s not fair to project your insecurities and wants onto your favourite celebrity/others. During the 1989 era, I watched Taylor go from ‘underdog’ to ‘popular girl everyone loves’ and honestly? It made me bitter. It made me bitter to think that she was living the life I could never had and that everything seemed to be going right for her when it wasn’t for me. More so, it made me bitter that people who were bullying her before 1989 were now closer to her than I felt. Likewise, in the past there had been moments where I was upset that Taylor didn’t speak up on issues or even ‘come out’ when I was a Swiftgron fan despite not even knowing Taylor’s sexuality for sure. But as time went on and my life started to pick up, I realised how unfair I was being. The amount of expectation I had put on a woman I had never even met in person just so I could feel better was crazy. And to be honest, I still see a lot of people doing that with their favourite celebrities, seemingly not remembering that there’s a real person behind that screen and perhaps we should be the difference we want to see as opposed to expecting others to be.

SEVENTEEN: Social media is rarely your friend. Tying into the lesson above is this cautionary message. While tumblr is a little different, it’s important to remember that on other social media sites, it’s rare to see someone posting at their worst. And that creates a bubble for us where we often feel like less because we see our own pain but no one else’s. On the other side of the coin, constantly seeing social justice stories about terrible things in the world is depressing and can become too much. Learning to use social media selectively was one of the best choices I’ve made for my mental health.

EIGHTEEN: Clinginess does not show dedication. Messaging someone several times a day and expecting an immediate answer and several long conversations is not healthy. Perhaps wishing they’d send a ‘not feeling up to it’ or ‘I’m busy but we’ll talk later’ message is normal, but when you’re getting anxious or upset that they aren’t hanging out with you for one day out of seven in a week, you need to take a step back. If you don’t, you’re going to end up exhausting the other person and potentially straining if not flat out ruining the friendship. Plus, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realise that while keeping in contact is important, meeting up with people when you’ve had time away and actually have something new to say makes those trips extra special.

NINETEEN: Sometimes you just have to say ‘I tried’ and walk away Life is ever moving. People change, relationships change and time stands still for no one. And sadly this means that relationships you had when you’re younger reach a point where they no longer fit into your or the other person’s life. If possible, it’s always best to take steps to fix it, but that’s not always an option. If it’s reached the point where it’s causing you pain and you don’t see a way forward, it’s time to let go, regardless of how hard that is. You are not a bad person for walking away from something or someone that no longer makes you happy.

TWENTY: Like attracts like Socially, what you put out into this world is often what you get back. If you’re constantly surrounding yourself with toxic people, they will attract more toxic people. Same if you are projecting negative thoughts and actions. You need to be the change you want to see in your world, and once you’ve made that change, your whole world will dramatically improve.

TWENTY ONE: Nice doesn’t always mean good Growing up, I had a nice father. He rarely yelled at us and basically let us do whatever we wanted. So when things got bad enough with me that the abusive friend I mentioned earlier threatened to bring a gun to school and shoot all my friends in front of me and I knew he could access said gun, I went to my nice father thinking my mother would yell at me. My father looked me in the eyes, said “I’ll be thinking about you” and went off to work as if I had just told him I had the flu. He was also the type to not say when something was messed up and then admit he knew later when someone else called it out. So yes, my father appeared to be a very nice father, but he was never a good one, nor did he ever try to be. As time has passed, I realised that while my mother may not have been perfect, she did everything she could to be a good mother despite her abrasiveness.

TWENTY TWO: Life is unfair, so it’s up to us to make it fair This is pretty straightforward; the world is not going to become a better place unless we make it one. There is absolutely no point and little hope waiting for others to make a change because they’re probably waiting for you to do it.

TWENTY THREE: Learn to ask for help When I was a kid, I used to always told “there’s always going to be someone better than you at everything” in a negative context. And maybe they’re right, I’m probably not going to be the best at anything in life. But that’s not necessarily a negative thing. If there’s always someone better, there’s always someone to ask if you get stuck. Trying to struggle your way through something you can’t handle alone doesn’t help anyone. I know it’s scary to put yourself out there and feel stupid, but the absolute worst thing that can happen is you ask and they say two puny letters “No” in which case you’re no worse off and can go ask someone else until you get a positive answer. Seriously, learning to swallow my pride and anxiety and just ask for help drastically improved my life from that point on.

TWENTY FOUR: Recovery is everything. As cool as tumblr makes it seem, blaming the world for your issues and making self depreciating jokes only gets you so far. Eventually, you’re either going to hit rock bottom and just continuously bitter and depressed at the world or you can choose to get better. Or maybe you do both; I certainly did. And it sucked. Hating everything sucked. But honestly, putting in the amount of work for the slow process of recovery did too. The difference is that even if it’s not immediate, recovery changed everything for me. Not only am I doing better than I was while at my worst, in many ways, working out the issues I have has made me feel like I’m doing better than I ever was. I’m more optimistic yet realistic yet at peace with myself and I never would have found that balance without the choosing to recover. And so many people I know have said the same. So don’t give up. Choose recovery. Choose life. Choose yourself.

[proxylynn]

Underfell: File Name not Edgy Enough #12

Chapter 12: GASTER

WARNING: I WANT NO RESPONSIBILITY OVER SPOILING THINGS FOR OTHERS. THAT BEING SAID, THIS IS HOW FILE NAME NOT FOUND WOULD FUNCTION IN THE AU OF UNDERFELL. BEFORE YOU READ THIS, UNLIKE THE NICE TIME OF UNDERTALE, THIS WORLD IS KILL OR BE KILLED. THIS STORY WILL BE GRAPHIC, GORY, USE SWEARS LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS, AND DEAL WITH SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTERS. FOR EXAMPLE, THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE READ THE FILE NAME RELOCATED SPOOF WILL KNOW HOW I PICTURE THIS VERSION OF LYNSIE COMING TO THE UNDERGROUND. IT IS NOT AN ACCIDENT. IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING DUMB. IT IS BECAUSE SHE CHOOSES TO END HER LIFE. SO TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. I MADE IT BECAUSE I NEEDED TO LET SOME OF THIS EDGINESS OUT OF MYSELF. WHICH I GUESS MAKES UNDERFELL LYNSIE EVEN MORE TRUE TO WHO I REALLY AM. ANYWAY, ENJOY. ^_^

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[One long but really quick chat and drink at Grillby's later]

"whoa, whoa, whoa...back that up for me one more time. she planned this out with who?"

Sans is confused by what Grillby has told him. But all the flame monster could do was shrug.

"I've told you all I know and all she told me. She said her brothers helped her."

"her brother is on the surface. and she only has the one."

Grillby smirks.

"don't look at me like that. she told. i didn't ask to know."

"Right...Either way, I doubt she meant her human brother."

"the flower is still only one."

"Hey, I'm only telling you what she told me. And she said 'brothers'."

Sans sighs.

"does this other 'brother' have a name?"

"She called him by a weird name. Chara I think? He was the one that saw you snooping."

That made Sans flinch faintly.

"impossible."

"Why's that?"

"because there was no one else there."

"She said no one can see him."

"a ghost?"

"Ghosts can be seen, Sans. Hell, that one family of them took up that area in Waterfall."

Sans holds his skull in his hands.

"this doesn't make any sense."

"What's there to overthink? She has an imaginary friend. Big whoop."

"not that. the name."

"What? Chara? What's so weird about that?"

Sans rubs his temples.

"that name...that was the name of the kid the King took in."

Grillby's professional calm falters.

"W-What?"

Sans tries to think harder on this. What did any of this mean?

"she lives with the queen, but i don't think tori would actually talk about heavy shit like her kids. it would open old wounds. so how...how does she know that name?"

A memory comes to the confused skeleton. A past conversation he had with the human.

"You have a brother?"

"just one. and you?"

"Human or monster?"

"um...both?"

"On the surface, I got an older bro and a younger sis. Down here, I consider Flowey like a bro. Not sure how old he is. Oh! Do ghosts count? 'Cause I got this spooky little kid that talks to me sometimes too."

"uh...what?"

"Eh, but enough about me. I've been prattling on for too long as it is. I wanna hear about you. This bro of yours got a name or am I digging too deep for my own good down here?"

That simple bit in their chat. He paid it no mind at the time. But now? Now he sees the hints inside.

"Sans? You okay?"

The flaming bartender's voice snaps Sans out of his thoughts.

"huh? oh. yeah. just thinking i got some more questions for that girl."

"When you do question her, will you be bringing her here?"

Sans looks at Grillby funny.

"now why would i do that?"

"Because...I might want to mess around more with that silly pussycat."

Sans gets off his stool and tries to ignore Grillby's teasing tone.

"well...i better get going. pap will be pissed if he catches me missing from my post."

"Want one for the road?"

Grillby dangles a mustard bottle temptingly and Sans smirks.

"how much do i owe ya this time?"

"Ow. That hurts. This one's on the house."

Sans cocks his brow at Grillby as he takes the bottle.

"free? why so generous?"

"I consider the entertainment of that girl to be very rich. I recommend you bring her over more and I might continue my generosity to, oh let's say, your tab."

"...i...i might see what i can do."

Sans teleports to escape the creepy grin Grillby gets just thinking about it.

"You seem to be enjoying yourself..."

So speaks Punk Hamster between drinks who sits at the end of the bar.

"I haven't seen you this giddy since those girls got wild on lady's night."

Grillby sighs at the memory.

"That was a wild night. So glad I put up those cameras. Bitches tried to deny all the damages they caused. But I get what you're saying. I am feeling a bit more...heated than normal."

"You don't think you're starting to carrying a torch for the little lady?"

Grillby snorts at the very idea.

"Please...I'm a monster, not a pig. Sure, I haven't been with someone in a while. But that doesn't mean I'm going to rush over and snatch any female that walks by."

Punk Hamster snickers.

"Heh...Well, that's kind of what you did."

Having walked into that, Grillby sneers and takes Punk Hamster's glass.

"Hey! I wasn't finished with that."

"Any decent bartender knows when a patron has had too much."

"Ah, come on man. It was a joke."

Grillby ignores him by going about his job, leaving Punk Hamster to lose his buzz and snack on nuts.

[Meanwhile: Back with the human]

Urgh...My head is pounding. I feel nauseous. The hell happened?

"🕈☜☹☹ ☠⚐🕈📬📬📬✡⚐🕆 ☹⚐⚐😐 ☹✋😐☜ ✡⚐🕆 ☟✌👎 ✌ ☝⚐⚐👎 ❄✋💣☜📬" (WELL NOW...YOU LOOK LIKE YOU HAD A GOOD TIME.)

Oh great. Now I have to deal with him.

"Hey, G. Um...What happened?"

Gaster chuckles.

"☟✌✞✋☠☝ ❄☼⚐🕆👌☹☜ ☼☜💣☜💣👌☜☼✋☠☝✍ ☠⚐❄ 💧🕆☼🏱☼✋💧✋☠☝📬 ✡⚐🕆🕯✞☜ ☠☜✞☜☼ 👌☜☜☠ ✋☠❄⚐✠✋👍✌❄☜👎 👌☜☞⚐☼☜📬" (HAVING TROUBLE REMEMBERING? NOT SURPRISING. YOU'VE NEVER BEEN INTOXICATED BEFORE.)

"Wait...So I did get drunk? I didn't get...weird...Did I?"

"☠⚐📬 ✡⚐🕆 💣☜☼☜☹✡ ☟✌👎 ✌☠ ✋☠👍☼☜✌💧☜ ✋☠ ✡⚐🕆☼ 💧☜☠💧☜ 💣✋☼❄☟" (NO. YOU MERELY HAD AN INCREASE IN YOUR SENSE MIRTH.)

"So...I was just a giggling idiot?"

"🏱☼☜❄❄✡ 💣🕆👍☟📬" (PRETTY MUCH.)

I snicker at that.

"Heh...Playful drunk. That's the best outcome that could've happened."

"✌☞☼✌✋👎 ✡⚐🕆 🕈☜☼☜ ☝⚐✋☠☝ ❄⚐ 👌☜ 💣⚐☼☜ 🏱☼⚐💣✋💧👍🕆⚐🕆💧✍" (AFRAID YOU WERE GOING TO BE MORE PROMISCUOUS?)

"Oh yeah. I don't want to end up being slutty drunk. Way too much can end up happening and I'd have no clue of any of it."

"✌☝☼☜☜👎📬 ✋❄ 🕈⚐🕆☹👎 👌☜ 💧🕆👍☟ ✌ 💧☟✌💣☜ ✋☞ 💧⚐💣☜❄☟✋☠☝ 🕈☜☼☜ ❄⚐ ☟✌🏱🏱☜☠ ❄⚐ ✡⚐🕆 ⚐☼ ✡⚐🕆☼ 💧⚐🕆☹📬" (AGREED. IT WOULD BE SUCH A SHAME IF SOMETHING WERE TO HAPPEN TO YOU OR YOUR SOUL.)

That tone he had didn't slip by my "well that's not good" radar. That has my senses on alert. After Chara's super weird warning, I'm a little on edge around him. Though part of me still wants to be kind and trust him.

"I've never asked this, and you don't have to answer if I'm being rude for asking, but...How did you end up here?"

He seems to be slightly taken back by the question. Yet he is quick to recover his composer like normal.

"✋❄🕯💧 ☠⚐❄ 💣✡ ☞⚐☠👎☜💧❄ 💣☜💣⚐☼✡📪 👌🕆❄ ✋❄ ☟✌🏱🏱☜☠☜👎 ☠⚐☠ ❄☟☜ ☹☜💧💧📬" (IT'S NOT MY FONDEST MEMORY, BUT IT HAPPENED NON THE LESS.)

He motions me closer and I do, all be it with what I hope is the subtlest hint of my nervousness.

"✡⚐🕆🕯☼☜ ☟☜💧✋❄✌☠❄📪 ☹✋❄❄☹☜ ⚐☠☜📬 🕈☟✡✍" (YOU'RE HESITANT, LITTLE ONE. WHY?)

"What? No. I'm just still messed up from liquor. I don't want to fall or barf on you."

He eyes me a bit but appears to let my behavior slide.

"✞☜☼✡ 🕈☜☹☹📬 ✡⚐🕆 💣✌✡ ☠⚐❄ ☝🕆☜💧💧 ✋❄ ☞☼⚐💣 ❄☟☜ ☹⚐⚐😐💧 ⚐☞ 💣☜ ☠⚐🕈📪 👌🕆❄ ✋☠ 💣✡ 🏱☼✋💣☜📪 ✋ 🕈✌💧 ⚐☠👍☜ ❄☟☜ ☟☜✌👎 💧👍✋☜☠❄✋💧❄ ❄⚐ ❄☟☜ ☼⚐✡✌☹ ☞✌💣✋☹✡📬" (VERY WELL. YOU MAY NOT GUESS IT FROM THE LOOKS OF ME NOW, BUT IN MY PRIME, I WAS ONCE THE HEAD SCIENTIST TO THE ROYAL FAMILY.)

"Really?"

"✡☜💧📬 💣✡ ☞🕆☹☹ ❄✋❄☹☜ ✋💧 👎☼📬 🕈📬 👎📬 ☝✌💧❄☜☼📬" (YES. MY FULL TITLE IS DR. W. D. GASTER.)

"Initials?"

"✋❄🕯💧 💣✡ ☞✋☼💧❄ ☠✌💣☜📬 ✋❄ 💧❄✌☠👎💧 ☞⚐☼ 🕈✋☠☝👎✋☠☝📬" (IT'S MY FIRST NAME. IT STANDS FOR WINGDING.)

I tilt my head when something in my head clicks with that name.

"Wingding? Like the font?"

He nods.

"👍⚐☼☼☜👍❄📬" (CORRECT.)

He watches as the gears turn in my head and I am literally unsure about asking that which I know.

"☝⚐ ⚐☠📬 ✌💧😐 💣☜📬 ✋ 😐☠⚐🕈 ✡⚐🕆 🕈✌☠❄ ❄⚐📬" (GO ON. ASK ME. I KNOW YOU WANT TO.)

"Sans and Papyrus...Are you...related to them?"

The cocky grin smearing his face is chilling.

"✡⚐🕆🕯☼☜ ✞☜☼✡ ✌💧❄🕆❄☜ ❄⚐ 🏱✋☜👍☜ ✋❄ ❄⚐☝☜❄☟☜☼ ☞☼⚐💣 ☺🕆💧❄ 💣✡ ☠✌💣☜ ✌☹⚐☠☜📬 ✋ 👍⚐💣💣☜☠👎 ✡⚐🕆 ☞⚐☼ ❄☟✌❄📪 ☟🕆💣✌☠📬 ✋☠👎☜☜👎📪 💧✌☠💧 ✌☠👎 🏱✌🏱✡☼🕆💧 ✌☼☜ 👌⚐❄☟ 💣✡ 😐✋☠📬 ✋☠ ☞✌👍❄📪 ❄☟☜✡ ✌☼☜ 💣✡ ✡⚐🕆☠☝☜☼ 💧✋👌☹✋☠☝💧📬" (YOU'RE VERY ASTUTE TO PIECE IT TOGETHER FROM JUST MY NAME ALONE. I COMMEND YOU FOR THAT, HUMAN. INDEED, SANS AND PAPYRUS ARE BOTH MY KIN. IN FACT, THEY ARE MY YOUNGER SIBLINGS.)

Initially, shock has me for the most part. But soon puzzlement takes over.

"But...Sans said he only has one brother."

"❄☟✌❄🕯💧 👌☜👍✌🕆💧☜ ☟☜ 👎⚐☜💧☠🕯❄ ☼☜💣☜💣👌☜☼ 💣☜📬 ☠⚐ ⚐☠☜ 👎⚐☜💧📬 ✌❄ ☹☜✌💧❄📪 ☠⚐❄ ☜☠❄✋☼☜☹✡📬" (THAT'S BECAUSE HE DOESN'T REMEMBER ME. NO ONE DOES. AT LEAST, NOT ENTIRELY.)

"Care to make sense out of that?"

"☝☹✌👎☹✡📬 ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☜📬📬📬✌💧 ❄☟☜ ☼⚐✡✌☹ 💧👍✋☜☠❄✋💧❄📪 ✋ 🕈✌💧 ☝✋✞☜☠ ❄☟☜ 👍☟✌☠👍☜ ❄⚐ 👎⚐ 💣✌☠✡ 🕈⚐☠👎☼⚐🕆💧 ❄☟✋☠☝💧📬 ✋ 👍☼☜✌❄☜👎 💣✌☠✡ ⚐☞ ❄☟☜ ☠☜👍☜💧💧✋❄✋☜💧 💣⚐☠💧❄☜☼💧 ☠☜☜👎 ❄⚐ 💧🕆☼✞✋✞☜ ✋☠ ❄☟☜ 🕆☠👎☜☼☝☼⚐🕆☠👎📬 💣✡ ☝☼✌☠👎☜💧❄ ✌👍☟✋☜✞☜💣☜☠❄ 🕈✌💧 ✌☠👎 ✋💧 💧❄✋☹☹ ❄☟☜ 👍⚐☼☜📬 ✌ 💣✌👍☟✋☠☜ 👍✌🏱✌👌☹☜ ⚐☞ ☟✌☼☠☜💧💧✋☠☝ ❄☟☜ ☝☜⚐❄☟☜☼💣✌☹ ☜☠☜☼☝✋☜💧 ⚐☞ ❄☟☜ ✞☜☼✡ 🏱☹✌☠☜❄ ✋❄💧☜☹☞ ✌☠👎 👍⚐☠✞☜☼❄✋☠☝ ✋❄ ✋☠❄⚐ 💣✌☝✋👍✌☹ ☜☠☜☼☝✡📭☜☹☜👍❄☼✋👍✋❄✡📬" (GLADLY. YOU SEE...AS THE ROYAL SCIENTIST, I WAS GIVEN THE CHANCE TO DO MANY WONDROUS THINGS. I CREATED MANY OF THE NECESSITIES MONSTERS NEED TO SURVIVE IN THE UNDERGROUND. MY GRANDEST ACHIEVEMENT WAS AND IS STILL THE CORE. A MACHINE CAPABLE OF HARNESSING THE GEOTHERMAL ENERGIES OF THE VERY PLANET ITSELF AND CONVERTING IT INTO MAGICAL ENERGY/ELECTRICITY.)

"Most impressive."

"🕈☟✋☹☜ ❄☟✌❄ ✋💧 ✌ ❄☼🕆☜ 💧❄✌❄☜💣☜☠❄📪 ✋❄ 🕈✌💧☠🕯❄ 💣✡ 🏱☼✋💣✌☼✡ 💧❄🕆👎✡📬 ☠⚐📬📬📬💣✡ 💣✌✋☠ ☼☜💧☜✌☼👍☟ 🕈☜☠❄ ✋☠❄⚐ 💧⚐💣☜❄☟✋☠☝ ☞✌☼ 💣⚐☼☜ ☞✌💧👍✋☠✌❄✋☠☝ ✌☠👎 ☼☜✞⚐☹🕆❄✋⚐☠✋☪✋☠☝ ❄☟✌☠ 💧✋💣🏱☹✡ 💧⚐☹✞✋☠☝ ☜☠☜☼☝✡ 👍☼✋💧☜💧 ⚐☼ ✈🕆✌☠❄✋☞✡✋☠☝ ❄☟☜ 💣✡💧❄☜☼✋☜💧 ⚐☞ ❄☟☜ 🕆☠✋✞☜☼💧☜ ✋☠❄⚐ ✌☠ 🕆☠👎☜☼💧❄✌☠👎✌👌☹☜ ☞⚐☼💣✌❄📬 ☠⚐📬📬📬💣✡ ❄☼🕆☜ 🏱✌💧💧✋⚐☠ ✋💧 👍⚐💣🏱☹☜❄☜ 🕆☠👎☜☼💧❄✌☠👎✋☠☝ ⚐☞ 💧⚐🕆☹💧📬 ✌☠👎 💧🕆👍☟ 🏱✌💧💧✋⚐☠ ✋💧 ☟⚐🕈 ✋ ☜☠👎☜👎 🕆🏱 ✋☠ ❄☟✋💧 ✞⚐✋👎📬" (WHILE THAT IS A TRUE STATEMENT, IT WASN'T MY PRIMARY STUDY. NO...MY MAIN RESEARCH WENT INTO SOMETHING FAR MORE FASCINATING AND REVOLUTIONIZING THAN SIMPLY SOLVING ENERGY CRISES OR QUANTIFYING THE MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE INTO AN UNDERSTANDABLE FORMAT. NO...MY TRUE PASSION IS COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF SOULS. AND SUCH PASSION IS HOW I ENDED UP IN THIS VOID.)

Creepy vibe alert! Red flag warning!

"Souls?"

"⚐☟📪 ✡☜💧📬 ✋ ☞✋☠👎 ✋❄ 💧⚐ ✋☠❄☜☼☜💧❄✋☠☝ ❄☟✌❄ 💧⚐💣☜❄☟✋☠☝ 💧⚐ 💧💣✌☹☹ ✌☠👎 ☞☼✌☝✋☹☜ 👍✌☠ ☟⚐☹👎 ✋💣💣☜✌💧🕆☼✌👌☹☜ 🏱⚐🕈☜☼📬 ✌☠👎 ❄☟☜ ✞☜☼✋❄✡✍ ☜✌👍☟ 💧⚐🕆☹📪 💧⚐ 👎✋☞☞☜☼☜☠❄ ✌☠👎 ✡☜❄ ☺🕆💧❄ ✌💧 🏱⚐🕈☜☼☞🕆☹ ✌💧 ❄☟☜ ☼☜💧❄📬 🕈☜☹☹📬📬📬✌☹💣⚐💧❄📬" (OH, YES. I FIND IT SO INTERESTING THAT SOMETHING SO SMALL AND FRAGILE CAN HOLD IMMEASURABLE POWER. AND THE VERITY? EACH SOUL, SO DIFFERENT AND YET JUST AS POWERFUL AS THE REST. WELL...ALMOST.)

He gets to my curiosity.

"What do you mean by almost? Are some souls more powerful than others?"

He smiles wickedly and my skin starts to crawl.

"✡☜💧📪 ☹✋❄❄☹☜ ⚐☠☜📬 ❄☟☜ ☼☜👎 💧⚐🕆☹ ⚐☞ 👎☜❄☜☼💣✋☠✌❄✋⚐☠ ✋💧 ⚐☠☜ 💧🕆👍☟ ✌ 💧⚐🕆☹📬 💣✌☝☠✋☞✡✋☠☝ ❄☟☜ ⚐🕈☠☜☼💧 🏱⚐🕈☜☼ ❄☟☜ 💣⚐☼☜ ❄☟☜✡ ☼☜☞🕆💧☜ ❄⚐ ☝✋✞☜ ✋☠📬" (YES, LITTLE ONE. THE RED SOUL OF DETERMINATION IS ONE SUCH A SOUL. MAGNIFYING THE OWNERS POWER THE MORE THEY REFUSE TO GIVE IN.)

"That is interesting. But I get the feeling this is leading to something."

That apparently was the bait he was hoping I'd take. Because within seconds, he has my wrists locked in two disembodied hands and holds me off the ground to the point we're at eye level with one another.

"*snarl* This is not a move that a wise man makes, G. This is the kind of thing that pisses me off and I make you regret it."

That smug grin never falter.

"✌☹🕈✌✡💧 💧⚐ 👌☜✌💧❄☹✡ 🕈☟☜☠ ✡⚐🕆 🏱☜☼👍☜✋✞☜ ✡⚐🕆☼💧☜☹☞ ❄⚐ 👌☜ ✋☠ 👎✌☠☝☜☼📬 💧🕆👍☟ 🕆☠👌☜👍⚐💣✋☠☝ ⚐☞ ✌ ☹✌👎✡📬" (ALWAYS SO BEASTLY WHEN YOU PERCEIVE YOURSELF TO BE IN DANGER. SUCH UNBECOMING OF A LADY.)

"Let me go and I will consider not adding to those cracks in your skull."

"✞☜☼✡ 👍🕆❄☜📬 👌🕆❄ ✡⚐🕆 ✌☼☜ ✋☠ ☠⚐ 🏱⚐💧✋❄✋⚐☠ ❄⚐ ❄☟☼☜✌❄☜☠ 💣☜📬" (VERY CUTE. BUT YOU ARE IN NO POSITION TO THREATEN ME.)

"We'll see about that."

I jerk my legs to kick but they don't move. Two more disembodied hands grip around my ankles.

"☹✋😐☜ ✋ 💧✌✋👎📬📬📬✡⚐🕆 ✌☼☜ ✋☠ ☠⚐ 🏱⚐💧✋❄✋⚐☠ ❄⚐ ❄☟☼☜✌❄☜☠ 💣☜📬" (LIKE I SAID...YOU ARE IN NO POSITION TO THREATEN ME.)

"You cocky son of a breastbone."

That takes a moment to sink in before he laughs.

"☟☜☟☜☟📬📬📬☝⚐⚐👎 ⚐☠☜📬 ❄☟✌❄ 🕈✌💧 ✌☹💣⚐💧❄ ☞🕆☠☠✡📬 👌🕆❄ ☠⚐❄ ✈🕆✋❄☜📬" (HEHEH...GOOD ONE. THAT WAS ALMOST FUNNY. BUT NOT QUITE.)

"What are you planning? In the very least, don't let it be something pervy."

He looks unamused.

"👎⚐ ☠⚐❄ ✌👍👍🕆💧☜ 💣☜ ⚐☞ 👌☜✋☠☝ 💧⚐💣☜ ☹⚐🕈☹✡ 💧👍🕆💣👌✌☝📬 ✋☞ ✋ 🕈✌☠❄☜👎 ❄⚐ ☟✌✞☜ 💣✡ 🕈✌✡ 🕈✋❄☟ ✡⚐🕆📪 ✡⚐🕆 🕈⚐🕆☹👎🕯✞☜ 👌☜☜☠ ✞✋⚐☹✌❄☜👎 💣🕆👍☟ 💧⚐⚐☠☜☼ ✋☠❄⚐ ⚐🕆❄ 💣☜☜❄✋☠☝💧 ✌☠👎 ✡⚐🕆 😐☠⚐🕈 ❄☟✌❄📬" (DO NOT ACCUSE ME OF BEING SOME LOWLY SCUMBAG. IF I WANTED TO HAVE MY WAY WITH YOU, YOU WOULD'VE BEEN VIOLATED MUCH SOONER INTO OUT MEETINGS AND YOU KNOW THAT.)

"Then what is this all about?"

"✡⚐🕆 ✌💧😐☜👎 ✋☞ ❄☟☜☼☜ 🕈☜☼☜ 💧⚐🕆☹💧 ❄☟✌❄ 🕈☜☼☜ 💧❄☼⚐☠☝☜☼ ❄☟✌☠ ⚐❄☟☜☼💧📬" (YOU ASKED IF THERE WERE SOULS THAT WERE STRONGER THAN OTHERS.)

"And you said the Red Soul of Determination."

"✋ 👎✋👎📬 👌🕆❄ ✋ ☟✌✞☜ ☞⚐🕆☠👎 ✌ 💧⚐🕆☹ ☞✌☼ 💧🕆🏱☜☼✋⚐☼ ✌☠👎 💣🕆👍☟ 💣⚐☼☜ ✋☠❄☜☼☜💧❄✋☠☝ ❄☟✌☠ ❄☟☜ ☼☜👎 💧⚐🕆☹📬" (I DID. BUT I HAVE FOUND A SOUL FAR SUPERIOR AND MUCH MORE INTERESTING THAN THE RED SOUL.)

I sigh.

"Let me guess. Mine."

"☠⚐🕈 ✡⚐🕆🕯☼☜ ☺🕆💧❄ ❄✌😐✋☠☝ ❄☟☜ ☞🕆☠ ⚐🕆❄ ⚐☞ ✋❄📬" (NOW YOU'RE JUST TAKING THE FUN OUT OF IT.)

Before I'm able to rebuke that with a rather scathing set of choice words, he places his actual hand on my chest and I become a rather flustered mess.

"Take your fucking hand off!"

"🖂💧✋☝☟🖂 🕈☟✌❄ 🏱✌☼❄ ⚐☞ ✋🕯💣 ☠⚐❄ ☝⚐✋☠☝ ❄⚐ 👎⚐ ✌☠✡❄☟✋☠☝ 💧👍✌☠👎✌☹⚐🕆💧 👎⚐☠🕯❄ ✡⚐🕆 🕆☠👎☜☼💧❄✌☠👎✍ ☟⚐☠☜💧❄☹✡📪 ✋ ❄☟⚐🕆☝☟❄ ✡⚐🕆🕯👎 ☼☜✌👍❄ 👎✋☞☞☜☼☜☠❄☹✡ ❄☟✌☠ ❄☟☜ ⚐❄☟☜☼💧📬 💧🕆👍☟ ✌ 🏱✋❄✡📬 ☠⚐🕈 ✋☞ ✡⚐🕆 ☺🕆💧❄ ☼☜☹✌✠📬📬📬" (*SIGH* WHAT PART OF I'M NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING SCANDALOUS DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? HONESTLY, I THOUGHT YOU'D REACT DIFFERENTLY THAN THE OTHERS. SUCH A PITY. NOW IF YOU JUST RELAX...)

Wait, what does he mean by 'others'? Before I can ask, a strange surge of energy floods into my chest and I roar out as this new type of pain worms its way inside me. A delightful sparkle comes to his eyes, like a child getting a new pet, he knows what's to come but there's enough mystery to get him excited.

"✡⚐🕆🕯☼☜ ☼☜💧✋💧❄✋☠☝📬 👎⚐☠🕯❄ 👌☜ ✌ ☞⚐⚐☹📪 ☹✋❄❄☹☜ ⚐☠☜📬 ❄☟☜ 💣⚐☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧❄☼🕆☝☝☹☜📪 ❄☟☜ 🕈⚐☼💧☜ ❄☟☜ 🏱✌✋☠📬 ☞⚐☼ ⚐☠👍☜📪 👌☜ ✌ ☝⚐⚐👎 ☝✋☼☹ ✌☠👎 👎⚐ ✌💧 ❄⚐☹👎📬 ☼☜☹✌✠ ✌☠👎 ✌☹☹⚐🕈 ❄☟✋💧 ❄⚐ ☟✌🏱🏱☜☠📬" (YOU'RE RESISTING. DON'T BE A FOOL, LITTLE ONE. THE MORE YOU STRUGGLE, THE WORSE THE PAIN. FOR ONCE, BE A GOOD GIRL AND DO AS TOLD. RELAX AND ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN.)

I shiver and hate that Gaster knows how to speak in such a way that it gets to me. His words tickle a part in my brain that is powerless to him. As much as my body screams to keep fighting this energy and deny him of what he's expecting, I am only a human. I'm a weak creature by nature. I give in. I give up.

"❄☟☜☼☜ 🕈☜ ✌☼☜📬 💧🕆👍☟ ✌ ☝⚐⚐👎 ☝✋☼☹📬" (THERE WE ARE. SUCH A GOOD GIRL.)

Seconds after allowing his magic to flow freely into my body, from out of the hole in his palm emerges the heart-shaped core of my being that is my very SOUL. Yet something isn't right. A soul is primarily a single color. Now I know mine is a bit odd as it tends to change its color instead of staying a single solitary color. But this? This was new and very unexpected. This SOUL was not one, two or even three colors. No. This thing was a swirl of multiple colors all sloshing about like clashing waves, each one seemingly colliding with the others for more space for itself, almost like the colors are fighting for dominance of the SOUL itself. And the colors themselves, so many of them. Orange, red, blue, yellow, green, light blue, purple, and black. Though very faintly, two more colors were drowning under these crashing waves. From the little bits that can be seen, it looked like white and...pink? What the fuck?

"☞✌💧👍✋☠✌❄✋☠☝📬📬📬✋🕯✞☜ ☠☜✞☜☼ 💧☜☜☠ ✌ ☟🕆💣✌☠ 💧⚐🕆☹ ☜✠☟✋👌✋❄ 💧🕆👍☟ ✌ ✌☼☼✌✡ ⚐☞ ☜💣⚐❄✋⚐☠💧📬 👌☼✌��☜☼✡📬 👎☜❄☜☼💣✋☠✌❄✋⚐☠📬 ✋☠❄☜☝☼✋❄✡📬 ☺🕆💧❄✋👍☜📬 😐✋☠👎☠☜💧💧📬 🏱✌❄✋☜☠👍☜📬 🏱☜☼💧☜✞☜☼✌☠👍☜📬 ✌☠👎 ❄☟✋💧 ⚐☠☜📬📬📬☼☜☹☜☠❄☹☜💧💧☠☜💧💧📬 ✞☜☼✡ ☼✌☼☜📬 ✋🕯✞☜ ☠☜✞☜☼ 💧❄🕆👎✋☜👎 ✌ ☼☜☹☜☠❄☹☜💧💧 💧⚐🕆☹ 👌☜☞⚐☼☜📬 ✌☠👎 🕈☟✌❄ ✌☼☜ ❄☟⚐💧☜ ❄🕈⚐✍ ❄☼🕆☹✡ ✡⚐🕆 ✌☼☜ ☝⚐✋☠☝ ❄⚐ 🏱☼⚐✞✋👎☜ 💣☜ 🕈✋❄☟ 💣🕆👍☟ ☝☼☜✌❄☜☼ 🕆☠👎☜☼💧❄✌☠👎✋☠☝ ❄☟✌☠ ✋ 👍⚐🕆☹👎🕯✞☜ 🏱☼✌✡☜👎 ☞⚐☼📬" (FASCINATING...I'VE NEVER SEEN A HUMAN SOUL EXHIBIT SUCH A ARRAY OF EMOTIONS. BRAVERY. DETERMINATION. INTEGRITY. JUSTICE. KINDNESS. PATIENCE. PERSEVERANCE. AND THIS ONE...RELENTLESSNESS. VERY RARE. I'VE NEVER STUDIED A RELENTLESS SOUL BEFORE. AND WHAT ARE THOSE TWO? TRULY YOU ARE GOING TO PROVIDE ME WITH MUCH GREATER UNDERSTANDING THAN I COULD'VE PRAYED FOR.)

This feels so weird, my chest hurts from the pressure of his hand and the forced emergence of my soul. The longer it's out the more it hurts. But my discomfort means little to him, if anything my reactions only seem to further get his interest.

"✋❄ 🏱✌✋☠💧 ✡⚐🕆📪 👎⚐☜💧☠🕯❄ ✋❄✍ ☟✌✞✋☠☝ ✡⚐🕆☼ ☹✋☞☜ 🏱🕆☹☹☜👎 ⚐🕆❄ ☹✋😐☜ ❄☟✋💧📬 ✋ 😐☠⚐🕈 ✋❄ 👎⚐☜💧📬 ✋❄ ☟🕆☼❄ ❄☟☜ ⚐❄☟☜☼ ☟🕆💣✌☠💧 ✌💧 🕈☜☹☹📬 💧🕆👍☟ ☞☼✌✋☹ ❄☟✋☠☝💧 ❄☟☜✡ 🕈☜☼☜📬 💧⚐ ☞🕆☹☹ ⚐☞ ☞☜✌☼📬 ☺🕆💧❄ ✌💧 ✋🕯💣 💧🕆☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 ✌☼☜ ☠⚐🕈 ❄⚐⚐📬" (IT PAINS YOU, DOESN'T IT? HAVING YOUR LIFE PULLED OUT LIKE THIS. I KNOW IT DOES. IT HURT THE OTHER HUMANS AS WELL. SUCH FRAIL THINGS THEY WERE. SO FULL OF FEAR. JUST AS I'M SURE YOU ARE NOW TOO.)

I know I was resigned to just letting him do as he pleased before and honestly, I would've stilled allowed had he not said that. Fear? He thinks I'm afraid? Oh hell no! Who the fuck does he think he's dealing with here?! He's toying with me, like being a cat and thinking I'm a mouse. The hell I am! I won't give in. Not anymore. Not to fear and damn sure not to him!

"You bipolar manipulative fuckwad!"

He's taken back by my sudden snap. But his eyes never leave their locked on gaze from my soul, which is starting to stir a lot harsher now.

"You think this scares me? That YOU scare me? Papyrus scares me more than you. At least he makes his intent clear. He tells me without hesitation that he has no issues ending my life. You? You can't seem to pick whether or not you want to be all friendly or be an outright creepy asshole. So no. Fuck this. Fuck you. This bitch ain't taking this bullshit anymore!"

My soul beats loudly and fast. The swirl of colors hitting each other harder. Two beginning to show more predominately as they are more fueled at this moment. Red...and Black. But my verbal venom does nothing to phase him. He sees right through me, chuckling with amusement as he leans in closer and the tips of his fingers claw into my chest harshly.

"💧🕆👍☟ ✌ 👌⚐☹👎 💧🏱✋☼✋❄ ✡⚐🕆 ☟✌✞☜📪 ☹✋❄❄☹☜ ⚐☠☜📬 ✞☜☼✡ ✌💣🕆💧✋☠☝📬 ✋ ☹✋😐☜ ✋❄📬 💣✌😐☜💧 ❄☟✋☠☝💧 💣⚐☼☜ ☜☠☺⚐✡✌👌☹☜ 🕈☟☜☠ ❄☟☜ 💣⚐🕆💧☜ ❄✌☹😐💧 👌✌👍😐📬 ✋ 👍✌☠ 💧☜☜ ❄☟✋💧 ✌💧 ❄☟☜ 💧❄✌☼❄ ⚐☞ ✌ ✞☜☼✡ ✋☠❄☜☼☜💧❄✋☠☝ ☜✠🏱☜☼✋💣☜☠❄📬" (SUCH A BOLD SPIRIT YOU HAVE, LITTLE ONE. VERY AMUSING. I LIKE IT. MAKES THINGS MORE ENJOYABLE WHEN THE MOUSE TALKS BACK. I CAN SEE THIS AS THE START OF A VERY INTERESTING EXPERIMENT.)

"I'm not your fucking lab rat, Gaster."

"✡⚐🕆 ✌☼☜ 🕈☟✌❄ ✋ 💧✌✡ ✡⚐🕆 ✌☼☜ 💧⚐ ☹⚐☠☝ ✌💧 ✡⚐🕆 ☼☜💣✌✋☠ ✋☠ ☟☜☼☜ 🕈✋❄☟ 💣☜📬 ✋🕯💣 💧❄🕆👍😐 ✋☠ ❄☟✋💧 ☼⚐⚐💣 ✌☠👎 ✌☹⚐☠☜ 🕈☟✋☹☜ ✡⚐🕆🕯☼☜ ✌🕈✌😐☜📬 ✋❄🕯💧 👌☜☜☠ ✌ ✞☜☼✡ ☹⚐☠☝ ❄✋💣☜ 💧✋☠👍☜ ✋ 🕈✌💧 ☹✌💧❄ ✌👌☹☜ ❄⚐ ☟✌✞☜ 👍⚐☠❄✌👍❄ 🕈✋❄☟ ✌☠⚐❄☟☜☼ 🏱☜☼💧⚐☠ ⚐☼ 🏱☼☜☞⚐☼💣 ✌☠✡ 💧⚐☼❄ ⚐☞ 🕈⚐☼😐📬 ✌☠👎 ✌💧 ✌☠ 🕆☠😐☠⚐🕈☠ ✞☜☼✋❄✌👌☹☜📪 ✡⚐🕆 ✌☼☜ ✌☠ ✌☠⚐💣✌☹✡ ✋ 🕈✋💧☟ ❄⚐ ☜✠🏱☹⚐☼☜ ✌☠👎 🕆☠👎☜☼💧❄✌☠👎📬 🕈☟✌❄ ☜✠✌👍❄☹✡ 💣✌😐☜💧 ✡⚐🕆 ❄✋👍😐✍ ☟⚐🕈 👎✋👎 ✡⚐🕆 ☼☜🏱✌✋☼ ❄☟☜ ☺🕆😐☜👌⚐✠ 🕈✋❄☟ ❄☟✌❄ ⚐👎👎 ☝☹✋❄👍☟✍ 🕈☟✌❄ ✋💧 ❄☟☜ ☞🕆☹☹ ☜✠❄☜☠❄ ⚐☞ ✡⚐🕆☼ 💧⚐🕆☹🕯💧 🏱⚐🕈☜☼✍ 💧⚐ 💣✌☠✡ ✈🕆☜💧❄✋⚐☠💧 ✌☠👎 ✋ 🕈✌☠❄ ❄⚐📬📬📬☠⚐📬📬📬✋ 🕈✋☹☹ ☞✋☠👎 ⚐🕆❄ ❄☟☜ ✌☠💧🕈☜☼💧📬" (YOU ARE WHAT I SAY YOU ARE SO LONG AS YOU REMAIN IN HERE WITH ME. I'M STUCK IN THIS ROOM AND ALONE WHILE YOU'RE AWAKE. IT'S BEEN A VERY LONG TIME SINCE I WAS LAST ABLE TO HAVE CONTACT WITH ANOTHER PERSON OR PREFORM ANY SORT OF WORK. AND AS AN UNKNOWN VERITABLE, YOU ARE AN ANOMALY I WISH TO EXPLORE AND UNDERSTAND. WHAT EXACTLY MAKES YOU TICK? HOW DID YOU REPAIR THE JUKEBOX WITH THAT ODD GLITCH? WHAT IS THE FULL EXTENT OF YOUR SOUL'S POWER? SO MANY QUESTIONS AND I WANT TO...NO...I WILL FIND OUT THE ANSWERS.)

We glare deeply at one another. Sizing the other up, even though I'm clearly not going to win this. But it would be a cold day in hell if I'd let him treat me like some stupid lab experiment. I am no one's toy.

"...And if I refuse?"

"📬📬📬✋ 🕈⚐🕆☹👎 🏱☼☜☞☜☼ ✡⚐🕆☼ 👍⚐⚐🏱☜☼✌❄✋⚐☠📬 ✋❄ 🕈⚐🕆☹👎 💣✌😐☜ ❄☟✋☠☝💧 ☜✌💧✋☜☼ ☞⚐☼ 🕆💧 👌⚐❄☟ ✌☠👎 ☠⚐❄ 👎✋☹🕆❄☜ ❄☟☜ ❄☜💧❄ ☼☜💧🕆☹❄💧 🕈✋❄☟ ✡⚐🕆☼ ☠☜☝✌❄✋✞✋❄✡📬 👌🕆❄ ✋☞ ✡⚐🕆 ☼☜☞🕆💧☜ ❄⚐ 👌☜☟✌✞☜📪 ❄☟☜☠ ✡⚐🕆 ☼☜✌☹☹✡ ☹☜✌✞☜ 💣☜ ☠⚐ 👍☟⚐✋👍☜📬 ✌☠👎 ✋ 😐☠⚐🕈 ✡⚐🕆 ✌☼☜ ✌ ✞☜☼✡ ✋💣✌☝✋☠✌❄✋✞☜ ☝✋☼☹📬 ✋ 👎⚐☠🕯❄ ☟✌✞☜ ❄⚐ 💧✌✡ 🕈☟✌❄ ✋ 🕈✋☹☹ 👎⚐ 👌☜👍✌🕆💧☜ ✋ ☟✌✞☜ ☠⚐ 👎⚐🕆👌❄💧 ❄☟✌❄ ✡⚐🕆 ☟✌✞☜ ✌☹☼☜✌👎✡ ❄☟⚐🕆☝☟❄ ⚐☞ ✌❄ ☹☜✌💧❄ ❄☜☠ 👌✡ ❄☟☜ ❄✋💣☜ ✋ ☞✋☠✋💧☟ 💧🏱☜✌😐✋☠☝📬" (...I WOULD PREFER YOUR COOPERATION. IT WOULD MAKE THINGS EASIER FOR US BOTH AND NOT DILUTE THE TEST RESULTS WITH YOUR NEGATIVITY. BUT IF YOU REFUSE TO BEHAVE, THEN YOU REALLY LEAVE ME NO CHOICE. AND I KNOW YOU ARE A VERY IMAGINATIVE GIRL. I DON'T HAVE TO SAY WHAT I WILL DO BECAUSE I HAVE NO DOUBTS THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY THOUGHT OF AT LEAST TEN BY THE TIME I FINISH SPEAKING.)

"Twenty six actually."

"💣✡ 🏱⚐✋☠❄ ☼☜💣✌✋☠💧 💧❄✌☠👎✋☠☝📬 ☠⚐🕈 ✋ ✌💧😐 ✡⚐🕆 ❄☟✋💧📬📬📬🕈✋☹☹ ✡⚐🕆 ☟🕆💣⚐☼ 💣☜ 👌✡ ☝⚐✋☠☝ ✌☹⚐☠☝ 🕈✋❄☟ 💣✡ 🕈☟✋💣💧✍ ⚐☼📪 🕈✋☹☹ ✡⚐🕆 💣✌😐☜ ❄☟✋☠☝💧 🕈⚐☼💧❄ ☞⚐☼ ✡⚐🕆☼💧☜☹☞ 👌✡ 👌☜✋☠☝ ✌ 👌✌👎 ☝✋☼☹✍" (MY POINT REMAINS STANDING. NOW I ASK YOU THIS...WILL YOU HUMOR ME BY GOING ALONG WITH MY WHIMS? OR, WILL YOU MAKE THINGS WORST FOR YOURSELF BY BEING A BAD GIRL?)

I look at him funny.

"Dude, I want to take that seriously but...wow...That was the lamest way you could've said that."

He rolls his eyes and sighs.

"☟⚐🕈 ☟✌💧 🏱✌🏱✡☼🕆💧 ☠⚐❄ 😐✋☹☹☜👎 ✡⚐🕆 👌✡ ☠⚐🕈✍" (HOW HAS PAPYRUS NOT KILLED YOU BY NOW?)

"Because not even Pap wants to piss off Toriel."

He shrugs his shoulders.

"✡☜✌☟📪 ✋ 👍✌☠ 💧☜☜ ❄☟✌❄📬 ☠⚐🕈 👍☟⚐⚐💧☜✏ ❄☟☜ ☜✌💧✡ 🕈✌✡ ⚐☼ ❄☟☜ 🕈✌✡ ❄☟✌❄ ✋☠✞⚐☹✞☜💧 ✌ ☹⚐❄ ⚐☞ 🏱✌✋☠ ✌☠👎 ✌☹☹ ✌☼⚐🕆☠👎 🕆☠🏱☹☜✌💧✌☠❄☠☜💧💧✍" (YEAH, I CAN SEE THAT. NOW CHOOSE! THE EASY WAY OR THE WAY THAT INVOLVES A LOT OF PAIN AND ALL AROUND UNPLEASANTNESS?)

"You paint such a beautiful picture. Are you a poet?"

He doesn't like sarcasm, as evidence of his clawed fingertips digging in so hard that they start to break through to enter my flesh.

"✌☠💧🕈☜☼ 💣☜📪 ☹✡☠💧✋☜✏ ☠⚐🕈✏" (ANSWER ME, LYNSIE! NOW!)

"Easy way! Easy way! Fuck! I pick the easy way!"

Now with an answer of my hopeful cooperation, his fingers release their grip into my skin and he removes his hand from my chest. This lets my soul return to me and I can now feel slightly less violated.

"❄☟☜☼☜📬 ☠⚐🕈 🕈✌💧 ❄☟✌❄ 💧⚐ ☟✌☼👎✍" (THERE. NOW WAS THAT SO HARD?)

I sneer at him.

"I'm beginning to see the family resemblance. I don't know who's smugger. Sans, Pap, or you."

He scowls and makes the other hands disappear, dropping me on my shaky feet that almost buckle.

"🏱✌🏱✡☼🕆💧 ✋💧 ☼✋☝☟❄📬 ❄☟✌❄ 💣⚐🕆❄☟ ⚐☞ ✡⚐🕆☼💧 ✋💧 ☝⚐✋☠☝ ❄⚐ ☝☜❄ ✡⚐🕆 ✋☠ 💣⚐☼☜ ❄☼⚐🕆👌☹☜ ❄☟✌☠ ✡⚐🕆 🕈✌☠❄📬 ☹☜✌☼☠ ❄⚐ ☟⚐☹👎 ✡⚐🕆☼ ❄⚐☠☝🕆☜ 👌☜☞⚐☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧✌✡ 💧⚐💣☜❄☟✋☠☝ ❄☟✌❄ ✡⚐🕆🕯☹☹ ☼☜☝☼☜❄📬" (PAPYRUS IS RIGHT. THAT MOUTH OF YOURS IS GOING TO GET YOU IN MORE TROUBLE THAN YOU WANT. LEARN TO HOLD YOUR TONGUE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING THAT YOU'LL REGRET.)

I smirk, sticking out my tongue and taking hold of it.

"*mumble* Is this better?"

He looks at me deadpan and slaps his hand to his face.

"🖂💧✋☝☟🖂 ✋ ☟✌❄☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧⚐ 💣🕆👍☟ ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈📬" (*SIGH* I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.)

I let my tongue go.

"You say that, but you know you're glad I come by. After all, it's like you said. You're stuck here, all alone with no one to talk to or interact with. You're lonely. It's understandable. It's why I don't hold this nutty side of you in the wrong. You're just a little awkward dealing with me. And I know I'm not the greatest human when it comes to rubbing you monsters the right way. I antagonize, sometimes on purpose. But do you know why I do it?"

"👌☜👍✌🕆💧☜ ✡⚐🕆🕯☼☜ 💧❄✋☹☹ ❄☼✡✋☠☝ ❄⚐ 😐✋☹☹ ✡⚐🕆☼💧☜☹☞✍" (BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF?)

I snort a laugh.

"Nah, man. That sad part of me had it's chance and failed. I'm not brave enough to try meeting death again. Our long distance relationship will just have to continue. No...The reason I purposely bug the shit out of you boys is simply this...I like you."

Emotion leaves his face.

"You look confused. Let me explain. To strangers, I try to come off as normal. Letting them see the good in me and allowing them to make the choice of wanting to know more about me if they want. But when they do, when there are continued interactions, I let my real self come out more. The real me is kind. The real me likes to tell crude jokes. The real me will fight if something is wrong. The real me is a loyal friend once you earn my respect. And it's the real me you get when I see you trying to be real with me in return. That help make sense?"

He just stares at me for a minute or two. Just letting my words sink in. Then his composer returns.

"✡⚐🕆 👍☜☼❄✌✋☠☹✡ ✌☼☜ ✌☠ ⚐👎👎 ⚐☠☜📪 ✋🕯☹☹ ☝✋✞☜ ✡⚐🕆 ❄☟✌❄📬 👌🕆❄📬📬📬✋ 💧🕆🏱🏱⚐💧☜ ✡⚐🕆 ✌☼☜☠🕯❄ ❄☟☜ 🕈⚐☼💧❄ 🏱☜☼💧⚐☠ ❄⚐ 👌☜ ✌☼⚐🕆☠👎📬" (YOU CERTAINLY ARE AN ODD ONE, I'LL GIVE YOU THAT. BUT...I SUPPOSE YOU AREN'T THE WORST PERSON TO BE AROUND.)

I smile.

"Same, G. You can be a bit rough around the edges sometimes, but for real, who isn't? Yet if you try to hold that side back then I'll hold my more obnoxious traits back in turn. If you play the gentleman, I will not play the bitch. Sound fair, Dr.?"

I hold out my hand in a friendly manner. He looks at my hand and then me.

"What's the matter, G? Don't you know how to greet a new pal?"

For a moment, a small smile creeps onto his skull but is quickly replaced with his normal flat line and he shakes my hand.

"✡⚐🕆 ☼☜✌☹☹✡ ✌☼☜ ✌ 💧❄☼✌☠☝☜ ⚐☠☜📬 ✡☜❄📬📬📬💣✌✡👌☜ ❄☟✌❄🕯💧 ✌ ☝⚐⚐👎 ❄☟✋☠☝📬" (YOU REALLY ARE A STRANGE ONE. YET...MAYBE THAT'S A GOOD THING.)

"I'm glad we can be cool about this. Honestly, when you started being all creepy, I was beginning to believe the warning Chara gave me that you were not to be trusted."

Things go quiet and the room gets ice cold.

"🕈☟✌❄ 👎✋👎 ✡⚐🕆 💧✌✡✍" (WHAT DID YOU SAY?)

I feel like I just fucked up.

"❄☟✌❄ ☠✌💣☜📬 ☟⚐🕈 👎⚐ ✡⚐🕆 😐☠⚐🕈 ❄☟✌❄ ☠✌💣☜✍" (THAT NAME. HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT NAME?)

My continued silence does not please him. He grabs me by the throat with both hands and gets in my face. The rage in his eyes almost makes me piss myself.

"✋ 👎⚐☠🕯❄ 😐☠⚐🕈 ☟⚐🕈 ✡⚐🕆 😐☠⚐🕈 ❄☟✌❄ 👌☼✌❄📪 👌🕆❄ ✌☹☹⚐🕈 💣☜ ❄⚐ 💣✌😐☜ ❄☟✋💧 ✞☜☼✡ 👍☹☜✌☼📬 ✋☞ ✌☠✡⚐☠☜ ✋💧 ☠⚐❄ ❄⚐ 👌☜ ❄☼🕆💧❄☜👎📪 ✋❄ ✋💧 ☟✋💣📬 👎⚐ ☠⚐❄ ❄☼🕆💧❄ 💧💣✌☹☹ 👍☟✋☹👎☼���☠📬 ❄☟☜✡ ✌☼☜ ❄☟☜ 💣⚐💧❄ ☜✞✋☹ 👍☼☜✌❄🕆☼☜💧 ✡⚐🕆 🕈✋☹☹ ☜✞☜☼ ☟✌✞☜ ❄☟☜ 🕆☠☞⚐☼❄🕆☠✌❄☜ ❄✋💣☜ ❄⚐ 😐☠⚐🕈📬 👎☜👍☜🏱❄✋✞☜ 💣✋☠👎💧 🕈✋❄☟ ☞⚐☼😐☜👎 ❄⚐☠☝🕆☜💧 ✋☠ 💣✋💧☹☜✌👎✋☠☝ 👌⚐👎✋☜💧📬 ❄☟✌❄ ✋💧 👍☟✌☼✌📬" (I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU KNOW THAT BRAT BUT ALLOW ME TO MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR. IF ANYONE IS NOT TO BE TRUSTED, IT IS HIM. DO NOT TRUST SMALL CHILDREN. THEY ARE THE MOST EVIL CREATURES YOU WILL EVER HAVE THE UNFORTUNATE TIME TO KNOW. DECEPTIVE MINDS WITH FORKED TONGUES IN MISLEADING BODIES. THAT IS CHARA.)

"B-B-But he..."

"👎⚐ ✡⚐🕆 ❄☼🕆💧❄ 💣☜📪 ☹✋❄❄☹☜ ⚐☠☜✍" (DO YOU TRUST ME, LITTLE ONE?)

"I...I want to..."

"❄☟☜☠ ❄☼🕆💧❄ 💣☜📬 👎⚐ ☠⚐❄ 👌☜☹✋☜✞☜ 👍☟✌☼✌📬 ✋☞ ✋❄ 🕈☜☼☜☠🕯❄ ☞⚐☼ ☟✋💣📪 ❄☟☜ 🏱☼✋☠👍☜ 🕈⚐🕆☹👎 💧❄✋☹☹ 👌☜ ✌☹✋✞☜📬" (THEN TRUST ME. DO NOT BELIEVE CHARA. IF IT WEREN'T FOR HIM, THE PRINCE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE.)

I feel my face pale.

"Asriel?"

"✡⚐🕆 😐☠⚐🕈 ⚐☞ ☟✋💣 ❄⚐⚐✍" (YOU KNOW OF HIM TOO?)

His grip on me loosens and the rage in his eyes dims.

"✋ 🕈✌☼☠ ✡⚐🕆 ☠⚐🕈📬 🕈✋❄☟ ✌ 💧⚐🕆☹ 💧🕆👍☟ ✌💧 ✡⚐🕆☼💧📪 ✡⚐🕆 💧☟✌☹☹ 🏱☹✌✡ ✌ ☼⚐☹☜ ⚐☞ ✋💣🏱⚐☼❄✌☠👍☜📬 👎⚐ ☠⚐❄ ✌☹☹⚐🕈 💧🕆👍☟ ✌ ❄☟✋☠☝ ❄⚐ 👌☜ 🕆☠👎☜☼ ❄☟☜ 💧🕈✌✡ ⚐☞ 💧⚐💣☜⚐☠☜ ✡⚐🕆 😐☠⚐🕈 ☠⚐❄☟✋☠☝ ✌👌⚐🕆❄📬" (I WARN YOU NOW. WITH A SOUL SUCH AS YOURS, YOU SHALL PLAY A ROLE OF IMPORTANCE. DO NOT ALLOW SUCH A THING TO BE UNDER THE SWAY OF SOMEONE YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.)

"And what about you?"

He looks sternly before sighing into calmness.

"✋☞ ✋❄ 🕈✋☹☹ ☟☜☹🏱 ✡⚐🕆 ❄⚐ 😐☠⚐🕈 ✋ ✌💣 ☠⚐❄ ✡⚐🕆☼ ☜☠☜💣✡📪 ❄☟☜☠ ✋ 💧☟✌☹☹ ❄☜☹☹ ✡⚐🕆 💣⚐☼☜ ✌👌⚐🕆❄ 💣✡💧☜☹☞ ✌💧 🕈☜ 👍⚐☠❄✋☠🕆☜ ❄☟☜💧☜ ✋☠❄☜☼✌👍❄✋⚐☠💧📬 👌🕆❄ ✋ 👎⚐ ☟⚐🏱☜ ✡⚐🕆 ✌☼☜ 💣⚐☼☜ 👍✌🕆❄✋⚐🕆💧 🕈✋❄☟ 🕈☟⚐💣 ✡⚐🕆 👍☟⚐⚐💧☜ ❄⚐ ☹⚐🕈☜☼ ✡⚐🕆☼ ☝🕆✌☼👎 ✌☼⚐🕆☠👎📬" (IF IT WILL HELP YOU TO KNOW I AM NOT YOUR ENEMY, THEN I SHALL TELL YOU MORE ABOUT MYSELF AS WE CONTINUE THESE INTERACTIONS. BUT I DO HOPE YOU ARE MORE CAUTIOUS WITH WHOM YOU CHOOSE TO LOWER YOUR GUARD AROUND.)

There's this look on his face. I can't quite place it but it feels something like worry. I nod my head.

"I understand. Heh...Funny. Sans told me something like that when we first talked."

"💧🏱☜✌😐✋☠☝ ⚐☞ 💣✡ 👌☼⚐❄☟☜☼💧📬 ☹☜❄ 💣☜ ☝✋✞☜ ✡⚐🕆 ⚐☠☜ 💣⚐☼☜ 🏱✋☜👍☜ ⚐☞ ✌👎✞✋👍☜📬📬📬" (SPEAKING OF MY BROTHERS. LET ME GIVE YOU ONE MORE PIECE OF ADVICE...)

I expect a warning. I expect the kind of protectiveness a father tells a boy that seeks his daughter. What I don't expect was his face to distort and this suffocating red aura to swallow everything around him.

"✋☞ ✡⚐🕆 ☜✞☜☼ ☟🕆☼❄ 💣✡ ☞✌💣✋☹✡ ✋☠ ✌☠✡ 🕈✌✡📪 💧☟✌🏱☜📪 ⚐☼ ☞⚐☼💣📬📬📬✋ 🕈✋☹☹ ☠⚐❄ ☟☜💧✋❄✌❄☜ ❄⚐ 👌☼☜✌😐 ✡⚐🕆 👎⚐🕈☠📪 ✌❄⚐💣 👌✡ ✌❄⚐💣📪 ✌☠👎 ☜☼✌💧☜ ✡⚐🕆 ☞☼⚐💣 ☜✠✋💧❄☜☠👍☜ ✋☠ ❄☟✋💧 ✌☠👎 ✌☹☹ ☼☜✌☹✋❄✋☜💧📬📬📬👎⚐ ✋ 💣✌😐☜ 💣✡💧☜☹☞ 👍☹☜✌☼📪 ☟🕆💣✌☠✍✏" (IF YOU EVER HURT MY FAMILY IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM...I WILL NOT HESITATE TO BREAK YOU DOWN, ATOM BY ATOM, AND ERASE YOU FROM EXISTENCE IN THIS AND ALL REALITIES...DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR, HUMAN?!)

I open my mouth to utter the first real scream in my entire life but no sound escapes me, there's only the terrified look of horror on my face. That look seems sufficient enough to give him an answer and he reverts to his normal professionalism.

"☝⚐⚐👎📬 ✋🕯💣 ☝☹✌👎 ✡⚐🕆 ✌☼☜ ✌ ☼☜✌💧⚐☠✌👌☹☜ 👍☼☜✌❄🕆☼☜📬 🖂✌☟☜💣🖂 👎⚐ ☞⚐☼☝✋✞☜ 💣✡ ☜✌☼☹✋☜☼ 👌☜☟✌✞✋⚐☼📬 ✋❄ 🕈✌💧 🕆☠👌☜👍⚐💣✋☠☝ ⚐☞ 💣☜📬 ☺🕆💧❄ ☼☜💣☜💣👌☜☼ 🕈☟✌❄ ✋ 💧✌✋👎📬" (GOOD. I'M GLAD YOU ARE A REASONABLE CREATURE. *AHEM* DO FORGIVE MY EARLIER BEHAVIOR. IT WAS UNBECOMING OF ME. JUST REMEMBER WHAT I SAID.)

He pats my head and my eyes roll into the back of my head as I pass out from all this insanity.

[Meawhile: In Snowdin Town]

Another hard day's work for the skeleton brothers. As like most days, no humans entered their territory. Aside from his normal watching duties, Papyrus had Sans stop by the house every hour to check on the human. Which after finding her at Grillby's halfway into the day and bringing her back to the house, she hadn't moved from the couch where she crashed. In fact, the only change he noticed since then was that the flower had placed the blanket it was hiding under on her, but nothing else. So when the time came, they clocked out and headed home for an evening meal before resting up to take on another day.

"SHE BETTER HAVE COMPLETED ALL HER CHORES."

"i'm sure she has, boss."

"I MEAN IT. IF SHE'S SLACKED OFF THEN I'M BREAKING SOMETHING."

"a bit much, don't ya think?"

"FINE. *HUFF* I SWEAR, THIS WHOLE 'DO NOT HIT HER' THING IS HARDER THAN I FIRST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE."

"goes to show that not everything can be solved by hitting it."

"*SCOFF* I BEG TO DIFFER."

Arriving at their home, the door is unlocked and they enter. The house smells clean and isn't on fire, so that's a good sign. On the couch, the human slumbers and above her in the windowsill the flower watches her with a concerned look. Papyrus gives the scene one look before ignoring it to see if there's any food waiting in the oven. Sans, on the other hand, knowing that she hasn't budged an inch in hours, approaches curiously.

"yo, weed. what's up with her?"

Flowey glares at the weed comment.

"This happens sometimes. I don't know why and she doesn't tell me either. But something happens when she sleeps."

Sans cocks his head to the side.

"oh yeah? like what?"

Flowey gets quiet and it gets his attention.

"uh...you gonna answer me or what?"

Flowey looks uncomfortable.

"Sometimes..."

"yes?"

"Sometimes she..."

Before Flowey can finish, the human bolts upright and gasps for breath. This scares the shit out of Sans who ends up falling back on his butt while she tries to relax her rapid breathing.

"Yeah...Sometimes this happens."

Sans growls in annoyance until he actually gets a look at her. She's pale as a ghost, covered in a cold sweat, slightly hyperventilating, shaking, her eyes wide open and dilated. If he didn't know any better, he would swear she was in shock.

"kiddo?"

She's like a statue. Well, a statue that's shaking like a leaf and breathing just as bad.

"lynsie?"

That brings life to her as her pupils retract to tiny dots.

"hey, are you..."

"HUMAN!!"

Papyrus shouts and she leaps off the couch...only to get tripped up in the blanket a couple time.

"GET IN HERE NOW!"

She stumbles her way into the kitchen and for a moment Sans wondered if this was the same girl he's been dealing with. Because right now, she resembled a frightened puppy hoping not to get kicked into its kennel.

"EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT IT IS I'M LOOKING AT."

His curiosity having been tempted, Sans sneaks his way silently over to the kitchen's doorway and peeks in at the scene unfolding. Papyrus is not happy and the human has her head down in submission.

"WELL? TELL ME WHAT THIS IS."

Papyrus points to a glass container filled with some weird brown mass.

"It's meatloaf."

"AND PRAY TELL, WHAT IS THE MAIN INGREDIENTS IN THIS LOAF OF MEAT?"

"Ground beef."

"HOW MUCH?"

"W-What?"

"HOW MUCH?! HOW MUCH DID YOU USE IN THAT SIN YOU'VE SULLIED MY KITCHEN WITH?!"

She seems to shrink under his voice and it has Sans puzzled. Her personality is all wrong. She would stand her ground, not give in. What in the fuck happened?

"T-T-Three pounds."

*SMACK*

She hits the ground and Papyrus is livid.

"THREE POUNDS?! YOU WASTED THREE POUNDS ON THIS TRASH?! IF YOU WEREN'T CONNECTED TO THE QUEEN, YOU'D BE DEAD BY MY HANDS AND THAT SOUL OF YOUR SHATTERED BECAUSE SOMEONE AS STUPID AS YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY HAVE ANY POWER TO SET US FREE!"

She lays there for a bit and Sans almost makes the move to jump in to ease some of this tension. But she makes the first move, picking herself partly off the floor.

"Master..."

Master? Don't tell me he's really got her calling him that. Geez, bro, how massive is your ego?

"Forgive me. I wanted to try something new. But with the limitations of what is here and us all agreeing that I can't leave, I can't fetch more food. I tried my best with what I had."

Papyrus's stone cold death glare softens slightly to a less harsh but still harden look of disdain.

"BE THAT AS IT MAY, DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY LASAGNAS THAT COULD'VE MADE? IN A SINGLE DISH, YOU'VE SET ME BACK QUITE A BIT. AND THAT IS NOT A SMART THING TO DO."

"I'm sorry, Master. It won't happen again. I shall request your approval in future meal preparations that might interfere with your culinary craftsmanship."

Much to Sans's surprise, she managed to settle Papyrus down with that. Catering to his ego, a very smart move on her part. She's learning how to survive and roll with the punches.

"HMMM...PERHAPS I MISSPOKE. MAYBE YOU'RE NOT NEARLY AS STUPID AS YOU MAKE YOURSELF OUT TO BE."

Papyrus takes a few steps closer to her and stops when she doesn't make a move.

"HUMAN..."

She looks up at him.

"TAKE THAT JACKET OFF. IT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU."

She merely nods before slipping out of Sans's old jacket.

"GOOD..."

He takes it from her.

"NOW GET UP. AS MUCH AS THAT THING YOU CALL A DISH OFFENDS ME, I DO EXPECT SOMETHING TO EAT. BRING MY PLATE TO MY ROOM ONCE YOU'VE TAKEN THE CORRECT STEPS IN FIXING IT TO MY LIKING."

She picks herself up and he leaves her, exiting the kitchen to shove the jacket at the apparently not so stealthy brother.

"THIS IS WHAT I MEANT ABOUT BEING SOFT ON HER. YOU GIVE HER AN INCH AND SHE'LL THINK SHE CAN DO AS SHE PLEASES."

Sans sneers.

"you said you'd try not to hit her."

"I DID TRY. I ONLY USED 5% OF THE POWER I WANTED TO HIT HER WITH."

Sans's annoyed look got stronger.

"WHAT? I AT LEAST DIDN'T BUST HER LIP OR BREAK HER NOSE."

Sans's look increases.

"I'M NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING THAT MAKES ME LOOK GOOD TO YOU, I AM?"

"no, bro. just no."

Papyrus sighs through his nasal hole loudly

"WHATEVER. I'LL BE IN MY ROOM. SEE TO IT SHE DOESN'T FUCK UP ANY MORE."

Papyrus walks pass his brother with little care and Sans mutters curses under his breath as he now enters the kitchen. To no surprise, the girl is setting out plates and still visibly shaken. He sighs.

"hey...try not to take what pap said or did too seriously. he just lacks the skills needed to not come off as a total prick."

She doesn't say anything. She merely goes about fixing a quick side-dish to compliment the main course.

"come on, kiddo, lighten up. this ain't the first time pap roughed ya up. and it certainly won't be the last. why not look at it this way...ya took the hit like a champ. that's something to be proud of."

She stops.

"Sans...I appreciate what you're trying to do. I really do. But can we not talk for a bit. Please?"

She didn't even sound the same. Something must have really gotten to her. Oh, the choices. On the one hand, part of him knew it was better to leave her alone. Yet, on the other hand, he wanted to make her suffer for leaving. What to do, what to do? Being the clever schmuck he is, Sans picked both options. Here's hoping she got so mashed she doesn't remember anything.

"yeah, okay. we'll talk later."

She appears to relax a little and returns to her work.

"Thank you."

"no problem. what are pals for?"

He turns on his heel then starts to leave, but pauses and looks her way.

"oh! before i forget..."

This gets her attention and he smirks mischievously.

"thanks for the fun at grillby's. i had a really great time."

He gives her a teasing wink before walking away and he swears that he can hear the gears turning in her head.

"...What the hell does that mean?!"

A quick shortcut away to his room prevents her from questioning further and allows him to let out the laughter a successful mind fuck gives. That'll teach her. See Pap? You don't have to hit her to make a point. Mind games are just as effective and even more enjoyable than violence. This is the good shit.

I can hear the laughter in the room above me and I growl in annoyance. God damn you, Sans. I have no idea if he's just messing with me or if something really happened at Grillby's. Argh! These skeletons! They will be the death of me! No, calm down. I need to relax and get my head together. I can grill Sans later when I force his supper down his...wait...How the fuck do skeletons eat?! Why am I only realizing this now? They have no tongue, throat, stomach, or anything else one would need to take in foodstuff. So how the hell do they do this?

"Lynsie? You okay in there?"

Flowey's voice derails this crazy train of thought.

"Yeah, bro. I'm fine. I'll bring you your plate in a sec."

I finish all this food mess and quickly bring him to the table where his share awaits.

"So you're really okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Because you freaked out a lot worse than your past nightmares."

"I told you, I don't get nightmares."

"Yeah, and I'm still not buying it."

"And again, I don't care if you do. But thanks for being concerned."

"You're welcomed. Thank you for dinner."

"Of course."

"When did you even make this?"

"Did it way earlier and had it on a slow cook so it would be done by the time they got home."

"Smart."

"I try."

"Try more."

"...Eat your damn loaf, flower-boy."

I return to the kitchen and get Papyrus's plate before heading up the stairs to his room.

[Knock, knock]

"ENTER, HUMAN."

I open the door and see he has his attention in one of those books they brought home the other day.

"PUT IT ON THE TABLE."

I do as told.

"If you want, I can get you some milk or water to drink."

The second he sees that the plate has touched down on the table, he moves quickly and the next thing I know is my back is slammed against a wall while his hand is over my mouth, pinning me in place. I'm confused by this sudden attack but the angry look he has tells me I'll know why soon enough.

"YOU THINK YOU'RE SO CLEVER, DON'T YOU? DID YOU REALLY THINK I WOULDN'T NOTICE?"

Unable to speak I merely tilt my head in puzzlement.

"DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME! I KNOW YOU'VE LEFT THIS HOUSE. YOU CAN'T EVEN DENY IT. YOUR STATS ARE DIFFERENT AND YOU ARE WEARING SOMETHING YOU DIDN'T HAVE BEFORE. SOMETHING I KNOW I'VE SEEN BEFORE IN THAT RABBIT BITCH'S SHOP."

Ah shit. He just had to be a smart guy. Okay, think. Don't panic and play to his nature. Be a good girl.

"WHAT? WHAT IS WITH THAT LOOK?"

He lowers me down enough for me to stand on my own and moves his hand to my neck, at least allowing me to plead my case.

"SPEAK, HUMAN."

Keep calm. Just mix some truth with a bit of lies. It'll sound believable that way.

"I can not lie, Papyrus. I admit it. I did leave the house."

His harsh eyes narrow in a glare that spells death unless I say something to explain my clearly wrong behavior.

"You're probably wondering why."

"I'M WONDERING WHY I SHOULDN'T RIP YOUR STILL BEATING HEART OUT AND SMASH IT INTO YOUR EYES."

"Look, I'm sorry. After I did all the chores, I got bored and curious. I wanted to see what neighborhood was worthy of my Master's greatness. So I went out to have a look, in disguise of course, and no one suspected a thing. Hell, most thought I was a dude. The only one to see through my ruse was Grillby. I gotta say, for a guy made of magic fire he's one cool dude. No pun intended."

He remains silent and brooding in a judging way.

"To be honest, I thought you already knew and that's why you were so pissed."

That gets him.

"NO. I HAD NO CLUE. WHY WOULD YOU THINK I'D HAD KNOWN?"

Payback is a hard bitch, Sans. You mess with me, I mess with you.

"Because Sans knew."

His sockets widen.

"HE WHAT?"

His grip on my neck tightens and I hiss at the rather sharp pain the pressure causes.

"YOU LYING CUNT! IF MY BROTHER KNEW YOU HAD LEFT THE HOUSE, HE WOULD'VE REPORTED IT TO ME! DO YOU TAKE ME FOR A FOOL? DO YOU REALLY THINK HE'D LIE TO ME TO PROTECT YOU? EVEN IF YOU ARE THE QUEEN'S LITTLE FOSTER CHILD, YOU ARE STILL JUST A PATHETIC HUMAN. YOU ARE NOT WORTH RISKING HIS LIFE OVER."

The pain is getting worse. I try prying his hand off but he's too damn strong. All I can do is wince.

"COME NOW, I'M BARELY SQUEEZING. YOU ACT AS IF..."

He seems to put two and two together while I'm still on side of confusion. He lets me go and moves the bandanna to expose my neck. I can't see what he sees, but if the look in his eyes tells me anything, I'd say he sees something I'd rather not see.

"HMMM..."

"What? What is it? Is there something wrong?"

"TELL ME, HUMAN...WHEN GRILLBY FOUND YOU OUT, DID HE HAVE YOU STAY IN HIS BAR?"

"Yeah. He said Sans would find me there sooner or later."

"AND DID YOU CONSUME ANYTHING THAT MIGHT HAVE HAD ALCOHOL IN IT?"

I'm starting to not like this line of questioning.

"Yes? He recommended a booze burger."

He sighs and now I'm getting nervous.

"YOU PROBABLY HAVE NO MEMORY AFTER A CERTAIN POINT IN TIME, RIGHT?"

"Dude, you're starting to freak me out here."

He just grins at me.

"Why are you smiling like that? Papyrus? Tell me!"

He shoves me back against the wall and laughs.

"NOW I SEE WHY SANS DIDN'T TELL ME. THERE WASN'T ANY NEED TO. HE ALREADY HAD THE PLEASURE OF PUNISHING YOU HIMSELF."

What the fuck does that mean?! Wait, so Sans's tease wasn't a tease? Did something really happen at Grillby's? Is Papyrus just being a huge asshole and messing with my head? I need answers damn it!

"YOU MAY GO NOW, HUMAN. BUT KNOW THIS...THIS IS THE LAST NIGHT YOU STAY UNDER THIS ROOF. DISOBEDIENCE IS NOT ACCEPTABLE AND PRIVILEGES WILL BE TAKEN AWAY BECAUSE OF IT."

I rub my sore neck and grimace at the thought of what else he's planning on not allowing me for this.

"I understand. I did wrong and deserve this. It won't happen again."

"OF COURSE IT WON'T. YOU'LL BE RESTRAINED WHEN WE GO OUT NEXT TIME."

Oh, that's just peachy. Not like that really worked last time, but it was super annoying.

"Understood."

I slowly take my leave.

"Good night, Papyrus."

I almost make it out of the room when he blocks the way.

"AREN'T YOU FORGETTING SOMETHING?"

I shake my head with a smirk.

"You enjoy me saying it too much."

His grin is amusing.

"WHAT CAN I SAY? HEARING THE SUBJUGATION OF A LESSER CREATURE PLEASES ME. NOW...SAY IT."

Maybe if I stroke his ego enough it'll take some of the marks off my naughty list. It's worth a shot.

"Yes, Master Papyrus. A thousand apologies, Master Papyrus. Forgive me, Master Papyrus. I am but a lowly human and utterly unfit to bask or even gaze upon your godly visage, Master Papyrus. Oh! To what ends must I do to once more gain the favor of my lord, Master Papyrus? How doth this foolish mortal woman redeem herself in yon glorious eyes, oh great and terrible, Master Papyrus? I beg thee! Pity me, oh marvelous skeletal lord of edge, I am not worthy of you."

I am such a ham when the mood strikes. What started out normal became a big dramatic display the likes of which you'd see being mocked in cheesy movies where teenagers do a high school play. I half expect tomatoes to be thrown at me while those two old muppets mock me from an unseen balcony. Yet he further exceeds my surprise by not only laughing at my childishness, but I can't help noticing the red coloring that is starting to show on his cheekbones. Really brings some much-needed kindness to that grumpy face of his. But the moment doesn't last long and he tappers into lite chuckling.

"YOU...YOU CAN BE QUITE THE KISS ASS WHEN YOU WANT TO BE."

I get out of my little finishing pose and smile.

"Maybe. But did you enjoy that?"

Remember when I said the blush made him look kind? Yeah, that look is gone now. With the look he gives me now, that blush makes him look downright creepy. Like, this is the face of a sexual predator.

"DID I ENJOY YOUR LITTLE SHOW? HMMM...HOW DO I PUT THIS?"

He grabs my chin and forces me to make rather uncomfortable eye contact with him.

"YOU'VE MADE ME QUITE PLEASED."

This feels so awkward.

"IT MAKES ME WONDER...IF YOU'RE CAPABLE OF SUCH PLEASANTRIES, IN WHAT OTHER WAYS ARE YOU ABLE TO PLEASE ME?"

It doesn't take much to trigger my imagination and filthy mind into overthinking what he could possibly have meant by those words. So like any sane woman that's already unsure of what men have done to her due to drunken memory loss, I jerk away from him and nervously get the fuck out of his room to rush my ass downstairs.

"*quickly* Okay, thank you, have a good night Papyrus!"

I hear a small snicker followed by the closing of his door and I take a few minutes to calm down. Normally, had a human guy been like that with me, that would've gone down much differently. Hell, I fought off three guys when that shit happened in middle school. Bastards thought the sickly looking girl in her grandma's sweater was a weak easy mark. Proved those fuckers wrong real fast. But those were humans. These are monsters. And I've finally faced the facts that they are a hell of a lot stronger than humans. If they wanted to...If the intent is there...They could do anything to me and no amount of fight in me would make a difference. I'd get a good couple of hits in but that's it. It wouldn't matter. Compared to them, I'm as weak as a newly hatched bird that fell out of its nest and down a mountain. Wait...God damn it! That is exactly how it is! Mother fucking life! Quit being so piss poor to me! I already hate myself! You don't have to add to it!

I sigh to get all this emo steam out of my system. I have to stop doing this. Building all this negativity up. It's not good or me and very unhealthy. I have to be more positive. Think happy thoughts. Because when life gives you lemons, flip off life and find someone who'll exchange lemons for strawberries. Mmmm...I could so go for some strawberry milk right now. Maybe Grillby has some. I'll have to ask him or Sans about that. Speaking of the smiling butt-munch...I should give him his food before it gets cold. Scooping up his plate of goodies, I head back upstairs and creep quietly pasts Papyrus's room. Lord knows I don't want his attention anymore this evening. Looking over the railing, I see Flowey's the first to sleep unless Sans beat him to it. I need to get his plate before I try to rest. I make it to Sans's door, the strange flames that burn beneath it have intrigued me since I first set my eyes on them. What makes them and to what purpose do they serve? Either way, even if I don't get an answer to those questions, I can still get the chance of seeing inside Sans's room. If Papyrus's room is anything to go off of, then his brother's is bound to be just as cool. Here's hoping he's still awake.

[Knock, knock]

"*muffled* who's there?"

Really? Are we really doing this?

"Room service."

"*muffled* room service who?"

"Yeah, can I get the house special and a wake-up call for nine? Maybe have it brought up by that sexy bellhop at the front door."

The door opens and he's giggling with confusion on his face.

"hehe...what the hell kind of knock-knock joke was that?"

"The kind you get when I couldn't think of anything."

I offer the dish.

"May I come in?"

He eyes me a moment before taking it.

"sure. we need to talk anyway. bet ya got loads of questions and junk."

He opens the door more and I step in. Instantaneously I'm hit with a smell. Since cleaning, the house has had this pine tree smell to it and Papyrus keeps his room so clean it doesn't even have a scent at all. But Sans's room...It's like...I'm not sure if I can describe the smell. Not bad, just...lived in maybe? It's strangely familiar to me for some reason. The room itself just feels comfortable despite its disheveled appearance. Sans's room is messy, containing a somehow self-sustaining twister of random trash, a dusty unused exercise bike, a dirty sock pile, a worn mattress with sheets ripped up in a weird wrinkly bundle, an uncovered pillow that is on the floor, what looks like some mail, a lava lamp with a flashlight stuck in the bulb socket, and a decently sized chest of drawers from which the lamp sits. There's also a window over his bed, a closet off to my left once you enter, and the thick carpet is done in wavy lines of red and yellow.

"yeah, the place ain't fancy or anything, but it'll grow on ya. i mean that figuratively yet sometimes literally."

Sans seems more relaxed as he goes over to his bed to eat. He looks very much the same but minus the jacket he regularly sports and nothing is on his feet apart from some black slippers.

"They say a man's home is his castle. And by the looks of it, you are a very relaxed king."

"eh, i try. so...what's on your mind?"

I shut the door to be safe in case Papyrus were to pass by and hear anything odd.

"Okay, let's just tear the band-aid off now. What the hell happened at Grillby's?"

He chuckles knowingly as he eats.

"don't remember a thing, do ya? that's a shame. you were quite the good-time gal by the time i showed up."

"Come on, dude. Be real with me right now. I am not in the right state of mind to deal with teasing."

He takes a moment to chew the mouthful he has before responding.

"if you're wondering if ya did anything stupid, no. we did nothing but make jokes. now if you did anything with grillby before i got there, you'd have to ask him because he didn't say he did when i got him talking."

I sigh and palm my face.

"but grillby ain't a douche. i've known the guy for a good chunk of my life and i will bet gold on him doing nothing to ya while you were fucked up."

"I'm going to choose to take your word on that. I honestly don't remember much of our time together, but the dude seemed pretty cool. Against my better judgment, I'd probably hang out with him again if the chance were given. Though I wouldn't request that burger again."

"i doubt you'll get the chance."

"Yeah."

I move a little closer and lay on the floor while my head rests on the mattress. I don't want to be weird by sitting on his bed.

"Papyrus said I'm to be restrained when you guys leave tomorrow."

"heh... a lot of good that'll do. you'll just escape again."

"That's what I was thinking."

There's a pause as he eats.

"so...maybe you can answer a couple of questions for me too while we're at it."

"Sure. Why not?"

"do you remember me bringing you back here?"

"Nope. But based on what Grillby said, about you being his most common barfly and that you show up a lot, I kinda figured you did."

"yeah. the bar is like a second home to me."

"I can see why. It's so warm there. Felt...I don't know...Safe?"

"that's the reason he'll never go out of business. ya don't feel that way in many places down here."

"True. And he's a nice guy. That helps too."

"yeah."

I think for a moment about what I want to ask next.

"by the way...who is chara?"

Well, that came out of left field.

"What brought that up?"

"you told grillby that chara was the one that spotted me watching you."

"Oh yeah...So?"

"how do you know chara?"

"How do you know Chara?"

"i asked ya first."

"He's my dead bro that talks to me in my head."

"don't bullshit me."

"Do you really think I'd say something that crazy if I didn't mean it? Hell, you're not even the first person to ask me that same question today."

"who else asked you about chara?"

"Your brother."

"pap? that don't make much sense."

"I didn't say it was Papyrus."

That got his attention in a big way.

"what?"

I look up at the ceiling.

"Sans...Do you know who Gaster is?"

There's a thud sound as he drops his plate and what little remained of his dinner.

"h-how...how do you know that name?"

I look over at him. Shock and maybe a small tinge of fright make up his expression.

"I get the feeling we've got a lot of talking to do."

"yeah. yeah, we do."

He looks really serious until he looks at the mess.

"but first...mind cleaning that up for me?"

I snicker.

"Was wondering if you were gonna ask me that or not. Really hoping you weren't."

"if it makes ya feel any better, it wasn't as bad as what pap was making it out to be."

"Thanks."

I pick up most of it with my hands and get ready to take the remnants with me.

"while you're down there, would you mind bringing back a thing of mustard?"

I look at him funny.

"Mustard?"

He rolls his shoulders.

"we've all got our vices. mine happens to be a tangy condiment. got a problem with that?"

"Really? Any particular type you prefer?"

"not really. it all depends on my mood. if i wanna treat myself, i enjoy a nice dijon. if it's been a shitty day, i'll have a beer or spirited mustard. and if i'm in a pissy mood, i'll punish myself with the hot pepper stuff. but mostly i just drink the classic yellow kind."

Wow, he wasn't joking.

"Okay...Be right back with your 'drink'."

I take the dish with me out of the room and back downstairs, collecting Flowey's along the way. I do a spot of speed cleaning before putting dinner away, I'm not eating tonight. I have no appetite at the moment. But a drink is never something I turn down. I fix me up a little something, grab his mustard and napkins, then get my butt back up the stairs to his room. I find him still on his mattress only now he's apparently playing a game of solitaire with an old beat up deck of cards.

"Got bored? I was gone maybe two minutes."

He hardly bothers with glancing at me.

"it helps me relax."

I don't like that sound of that. I let him be and place the condiment bottle beside him as I get to cleaning the small stain trying to stay on his floor. I think not, stain! Not on my watch. He starts drinking while I carry on with this maid-like chore.

"what's in the glass?"

I was beginning to wonder if he'd ever notice my own drink.

"This? Got me some milk. Though, kinda wish you boys had stuff to with it is."

"like what?"

"Maybe some strawberry mixing power/syrup? I'd settle for some chocolate or cookies too."

A small chuckle escapes him.

"heh...women and their sweets."

"I know, it's cliché. But hey, think of it this way. Maybe if I had more sweets then I'd be sweet back."

He scoffs.

"yeah, i can totally see that happening. toss ya a bit of sugar and suddenly you're little miss sunshine? nah, ain't buying it."

"I did say maybe."

With the task of cleaning done, I invade his space. Moving to sit at the foot of the mattress to show that I am here taking this a bit more seriously than most of the normal shit I tend to do. He, in turn, responds by swiping the cards onto the floor in one motion and finally looking at me. His eyes are dark.

"so...seems we each know something that the other wants to know."

"Indeed. We both have stories to tell."

"true. but that implies someone might not be very truthful in the telling of their tale."

"Withholding information is very damaging. Not a very wise move, nor one I intend to make. You?"

"the line between truth and false is blurry. it's up to the listener whether to believe it's fact or fiction."

"Very well...Fact, we have never met before until I left the Ruins. We have never shared any point of our lives with each other or gone into much about our history. So far, to you, is this correct?"

"so far, you are coming up as truthful."

"Then I shouldn't know any of the following...W. D. Gaster was once the Head Scientist to the Royal Family until something happened. Something involving his study of understanding the power of souls."

He gets really quiet. So quiet that the snow falling onto the roof can be heard, snowflake by snowflake.

"lynsie...this is going to be one hell of a long night."

"That it will be, Sans. That it will be."

[yutikyis]

Honest Q&A: Round 6! Table

Hello all! It’s been a while since we were all together. I’m glad everyone was able to join our roundtable today. Hmm… looking over the questions submitted they seem to be… ahh, yes, this were all omitted from the previous questionnaires due to their… darker theme. Well, it seems my editor is looking to expand our readership. Very well, if anyone feels uncomfortable answering these VERY hypotheticals… feel free to pass.

First, a question for myself. Where have you all been? It’s been really hard to track you all down for another sit down lately.

Yuti:  “Ah... I’ve been b-busy w-with this and that.

Reri: “Same as I ever been. Huntin’ and screwin’. Ya ain’t seen me then ya either are blessed or cursed I guess.”

Rahya: “Um, same ol’, same ol’. I ain’t been that different. I been goin’ on walks with Grape an’ I found a nice pond! It’s got all kinda fishers in it an’ I saw a frogtoad once!”

Sayo: “My life has passed as normal. I have been exploring the land under the guard of Lord Vachir. I fear he is not overly excited about some of our exploration but he is kind about it.”

Tsukiko: “Ah, Lady Kususha. I am certain he is very kind about it. After all he is not a stupid man, nor a blind one. I have been waiting for new orders from my Master and aiding Kitakage in his missions.” Meichi’a: “Moi? I, of course, have been a shameless louse! Exploring the lands, drinking the finest wine, and just yesterday I spent a night with the most CHA-rming... ah and I’m getting glares again. Ahem. I’ve kept myself occupied.”

Alright, on to our… readers’ questions. <cough> Uh-hmm… let’s get this over with, shall we?

“If you had to kill one person you cared about to save the rest of the world, who would you pick?”

Yuti: “... P-probably myself? I k-know there are arguments to b-be made about t-the needs of the many a-and as a h-healer you n-need to decide these things but... I d-don’t think I could kill someone I c-cared about.”

Reri: “Haw! Like anyone’s surprised at that answer Snowflake. Me? Sure. It ain’t really a choice, is it? They’re gonna die if the world explodes or whatever. I’d just take whoever’s closest. Ain’t a big deal.”

Rahya: “Um... I... I ain’t... I ain’t gonna kill nobody, not even ta save the world. I’d keep on hopin’ an’ prayin’ that things’d work out. Aasifa’s got me belivin’ in luck so... I figure I’d just hold off an’ hope somethin’ good happens!

Sayo: “I... I suppose it would be my duty. I can not say I would... This is really a very unfair question. I... if I had to pick I suppose it would be Lord Vachir or perhaps Lord Benedict. Only because I believe the two of them would most willingly sacrifice themselves to save others! Not because I value them less!”

Tsukiko:  “If I was commanded to, of course. My highest priority is satisfying my Master and I can only imagine he would be... displeased.. if the world was destroyed due to inaction. One life is not worth more than many, especially weighed against the feelings of a mere servant.” Meichi’a: “I? I would sacrifice nobody. I have already sacrificed one person I cared about and the world is not worth more than that. Let it burn if it comes to that. Selfish perhaps but I never claimed to be anything but.”

“What is the worst thing you can imagine someone doing?”

Yuti: “Ah... t-that’s a difficult answer. I-if I had to say... it w-would be harming someone’s soul or mind. A b-body is a body a-and can be healed b-but to hurt their mind or their spirit i-is unacceptable.”

Reri: “Hah. Ya really want my answer ta this? Because I got some ideas. So, ya start with some fish hooks... now this works best if the bastard’s a guy... and ya start insertin... ya look kinda green there, fella. Ya want me to stop? Hah! Knew it.

Rahya: “Um... the worst thin’? I ain’t sure. I figure like... blowin’ up the whole world! Like in yer last question! That seems like the worst thin’ cuz everyone lives here, yah? So... where’d ya even live after ya do it? On rocks an’ stuff floatin’ around? Cuz... that seems awful inconvenient. How ya gonna make roads? I ain’t sure chocobirds can fly that far without gettin’ tired and seems kinda mean to ‘em.”

Sayo: “Ah. The worst thing I can imagine is someone shaming another. Shame is a terrible thing indeed. Many would rather endure pain and misery than face shame and dishonor... at least that is what Sire says.”

Tsukiko: “The worst thing one can do is take another. That... is all I can say.”

Meichi’a: “The worst thing one can do? To give up on life. I am afraid I must disagree with the charming silver-haired crumpet. No shame is too great, no pain is unendurable. To live is the greatest gift and to toss it away is far worse than any other. ”

“Do you think death is the worst fate there is?”

Yuti: “No. N-not at all. D-death is sad, true, but it isn’t the end of life, m-merely a transformation. T-to live in eternal a-agony or have your aether d-devoured o-or to be trapped for eternity... t-those all sound much worse.”

Reri: “Gettin’ creative there, Snowflake. I like it. Ya oughta go a bit further. Well, for once, me and the girl agree. Death ain’t so bad. Probably hurts a shiteload but I see things a lot worse than death. Ya don’t hear of folks prayin’ for the sweet relief of death for no reason, yeah?

Rahya: “I... no, it ain’t the worst thing. I’m sure hopin’ not. If’n I gotta be true... I figure death ain’t so bad for the folks who be dyin’. It’s worse for the folks who ain’t dead cuz they ain’t got the person they like ‘round much, yeah? I mean I ain’t wanna be dyin’... but I’m more scareda bein’ hurt awful bad an’ bein’ all alone...”

Sayo: “I must go with the consensus here I am afraid. Death is to be feared but it is not the worst one can imagine. The ancestors have after-lives of peace and comfort after a life of hard work. It does not sound like something to fear if you’ve lived a worthy live.”

Tsukiko:

“Death is certainly by no means the worst thing! Why, I can think of several things quite worse. Enslavement, torture, suffering... many of which some would consider death a release from!”

Meichi’a:

“Alas, once again I must disagree with these charming ladies. All this talk of afterlives and mortal suffering is fine and good, but a life is a life and death is a great mystery. Even if one should survive in some form, it isn’t *life.* No drinking, no dancing and most certainly no carnal nights spent in the comforting embrace of a lover. Life is the greatest gift we have.

“Would you rather know the date of your death or the cause of your death?”

Yuti: “A-ah... t-that’s tough. Probably the d-date. The c-cause might make me tempted to t-try to avoid it but if I know anything from stories t-that would make me c-cause it! P-plus if I knew the date I’d h-have time to set my affairs in order a-and make sure I’m not leaving anything undone..”

Reri: “Hells below Snowflake can’t you even die in an interestin’ way? I agree on the Date though... but not for the reasons ya think. If I know when I’m gonna die then I’m godsdamn sure I ain’t gonna die BEFORE that. Gives me more freedom ta do shite.”

Rahya: “Um... I figure I’d wanna know the date cuz... if I know I’m gonna die because a rock falls on my head or somethin’ then I’m gonna spend all day bein’ scareda rocks? An’ that doesn’t sound real fun. But if I know I’m gonna go poof then I can just not be afraida stuff until then, yeah? Cuz... Aasifa’s already like than an’ he seems happy.”

Sayo: “I must disagree. Knowing the date of one’s demise is... not what I would want. It feels... restrictive. The cause would be better I think. I do not fear the day I meet my ancestors but I do not want it lingering over my head.”

Tsukiko: “ Ah! But Mistress Kususha! What if you are told that you would tortured to death over a period of many days! That would hang over your head far worse! Or if you were told you would be blinded and starve to death on a desert island or...” Rahya: “Um could ya maybe please stop? I ain’t wantin’ ta hear alla that...”

Tsukiko: “Oh, a thousand pardons, Mistress Miqo’te. I meant to no offense, none at all! I certainly wasn’t *intending* to frighten you with your ignorance and shortsightedness.” Rahya: “Aw shucks, thank ya!” Tsukiko: “You are most welcome. Myself? I pick neither. I apologize if it does not answer your question but I do not wish to know the time nor the means of my death.”

Meichi’a: “I must agree with the ravishing raven-haired delight. Date or cause, it would hang over my head. Unless I was told that I would die from exhaustion after a night with several del- .. oh please don’t glare, my beret-bearing beauty! I was merely joking, merely joking!”

“If you were trapped on an island, would you rather resort to cannibalism or die of starvation?”

Yuti: “N-neither! I-if I was trapped on an island a-and had to r-resort to cannibalism, t-that would mean there are others there. W-we could work together to b-build a raft... t-then I can use conjury t-to help propel it a-and get off the island!”

Reri: ��Ya ain’t stupid enough to think that’s the actual question, Snowflake.”

Yuti: “N-no! B-but... I mean...I s-suppose I w-would fish?”

Reri: “Still ain’t the question, Snowflake. Why don’t ya answer it?”

Yuti: “F-fine. I’d s-starve. It w-would f-feel... w-wrong...” Reri: “Knew it! Hah. Lookin’ Miss Prissy over here, thinkin’ she’s too good ta eat. Me? ‘course I’d do what it took to survive. Ain’t no difference between Miqo and Marlboro at the end of the day, ‘cept Miqo flesh probably ain’t gonna poison ya.”

Rahya: “I ain’t gonna do not cannyballism! Them things is big and explosive an’ madea metal! I couldn’t eat it even if I tried real real ha... what?”

Sayo: *whispers quietly*

Rahya: “WHAAA?! What kinda question is that?! I ain’t gonna eat nobody!!”

Sayo: “I must agree. To eat the flesh of a fellow Spoken is shameful and dishonorable. It would taint your bloodline and your legacy for generations. Starving is a kinder fate than that.”

Tsukiko: “It is true that such an act taints your bloodline. As I am already an *unworthy* servant of a tained line however it would not be shameful to eat the flesh of another... assuming they were already dead of course. Otherwise I would be honor-bound to offer myself first. Assuming one would like to eat *my* tainted flesh.

Meichi’a: “ Well, as much as I do enjoy eating a scrumptious beauty, it would not be in THAT way. I may consider life to be important but I am a gentleman first and foremost and there are some things a gentleman never does.”

“Would you rather have an arm hacked off or a leg?”

Yuti: “... I w-wish this wasn’t a question. A-ah... I m-mean... N-Nate seems to be doing okay... I g-guess... I d-don’t... A-arm? Yes.” Reri: “Easy. Arm. Ya can get by one one arm. It takes some work ta relearn to fight but ya can do it. Leg though? Shite, yer gonna be hobblin’ along. Lookit the Flames general. He ain’t havin’ a bad time.”

Rahya: “Um... I like havin’ arms. I can draw an’ move stuff.... an’ hug! I ain’t able ta hug nobody if I only got one arm... I mean I guess I kinda can but it’d be all.. *awkward one-armed hugging motions* so.. leg. Leg ain’t so bad. Plus ya could still ride on a chocobird or somethin’!”

Sayo: “I would choose to lose a leg. One can be far more productive with two functioning hands than two functioning legs. Honored Uncle has but a single leg and has little trouble getting by.”

Tsukiko: “I would choose an arm. My job is to go where my Master orders. It would be far more difficult to do with a single leg.”

Meichi’a: “Why, not even a question. The things you can do with two hands are FAR more fun. I make my coin from music and playing a harp with a single hand would be... well, not impossible but challenging! And as for dancing, I knew a gentleman in Limsa who could dance better than most two-legged gentleman with nary but a single flesh and single wooden limb! The sound of his peg-leg against the dance floor was a music all its own!”

“If you murdered someone, how would you get rid of the body?”

Yuti: “...I... t-that is... I w-wouldn’t...” Reri: “It’s a QUESTION Snowflake, not a confession a’ guilt.”

Yuti: “I am aware, Mother. Ugh. F-fine. I w-would... I m-mean... I s-suppose f-fire?”

Reri: “(In a whiny stuttering voice) I s-suppose f-fire. Aww, isn’t that cute. Fire ain’t bad but the best way ta hide a body is ta give it to the sea. Minimal fuss, hard as hell ta look for it, the fish do mosta the cleanin’ for you. You oughta weight it down so it ain’t washin’ up on shore or somethin’ but if ya wanna be smart about it ya lure ‘em onto a boat first. Less mess an’ trouble.” Rahya: I... i ain’t gonna murder nobody none but if I was gonna I ain’t gonna hide nuffin’ because I did a bad thin an’ I ain’t should be pretendin’ I ain’t.

Sayo: “I would never murder someone. Even in the unfortunate situation where I was forced to do so in self-defense, I would not deny my crime. I would be judged fairly by the administrators of the land so that no stain would come upon my family’s honor.”

Tsukiko: “Oh, MIstress Kususha. It is so very noble that you believe so firmly in the laws of the land and their fairness! You are a very fortunate woman indeed to never have had to hide a body by melting it into a easily washed away sludge using a careful mixture of alchemic and natural chemicals!”

Meichi’a: “... I am uncomfortable with that answer! Ah... me? I suppose I would bury it. I’m not really the murdering type but it at least feels respectful.”

“Would you rather hear the voices of dead people or see their ghosts?”

Yuti: “Ah... t-that’s tough. H-hear I suppose. T-that way I’d b-be able to help them i-if they needed it.”

Reri: “*snort* The last thing I need is some clingy dead folk cloggin’ up my hearing with moans and wails. I’d rather see the bastards. Maybe I can get some clue about what killed ‘em and if there’s danger about and I don’t gotta hear them whimperin’ and cryin’ because they were too stupid ta not get killed.” Rahya: “... I’d like ta hear folks ta be honest... be kinda nice. Like havin’ a buncha friends around. An’ if Aasifa... I mean... it’d be nice ta know I could still hear Aasifa, yah?”

Sayo: “Ah... to see, I suppose. The Kami and ancestors already speak in their own ways, but it would be... comforting to see my deceased family again. To see their smiles.”

Tsukiko: “Ah, what an unusual question. I would choose to hear. The words of the dead are wise more oft than not and not all of us are blessed enough to have worthy ancestors to whisper in our ears.”

Meichi’a: “I too would choose to hear. It is the least painful choice. To see a lost love and her smile and her beautiful eyes, knowing again I would never be able to hold her? That is a torture, my good sir, a torture. But to hear her voice, to speak to her again? That would be a blessing, if a small one.”

“If someone you loved committed a gruesome murder, would you help them cover it up?”

Yuti: “I-it would depend... I m-mean on why it happened.”

Reri: “Eh. Maybe. Depends on if it’s worth the trouble. Someone went an’ killed someone for no reason, nah. Ya can’t control yerself enough to not be stupid, I’m doin’ the world a favor lettin’ yer stupid arse get caught.” Rahya: “... I ain’t... n-no, prob’ly not I mean... I ain’t... gruesome is a real nasty word, it means all violent an’ bloody an’ stuff, right?”

Sayo: “No. Even if I loved them dearly, murder is a dishonorable act even if it isn’t violent and gruesome. They would need to stand judgement for their actions. If I was caught it would bring great shame to my family,”

Tsukiko: “If my Master commanded it.”

Meichi’a: “Absolutely. Love is love after all. Though I would dearly hope I do not fall in love with a serial killer. There is some spice in danger but ah... you’d have to be rather mad to be aroused by death.”

“Would you rather be kidnapped for six months and survive or die without any psychological damage?”

Yuti: “I w-would rather survive. I... I’ve h-had bad encounters before.”

Reri: “What the Hells ‘psychological damage’ mean anyway? Ya mean I’d be more fucked up after? Who the Hells cares. Survival is survial.” Rahya: “I’m kinda wonderin’ what psycho logic is too. I mean if yer logical then ya ain’t psycho right? It don’t make a lotta sense ta..”

Sayo: *whispering*

Rahya: “Oooooooh. Um... I ain’t... I mean... I ain’t wanna die but I ain’t wanna be hurt a bunch either... If I gotta pick one I guess I’d pick survivin’ so I ain’t... y’know.. dyin’.”

Sayo: “I would choose death. I do not know what would cause psychological damage but it would most likely involved great shame and leave me incapable of fulfilling my role as a second daughter. Death is the more honorable choice.”

Tsukiko: “I would survive, of course. I have no other choice.”

Meichi’a: “Survival, of course. Life is life and even the kindest days of life can damage our minds in some way or another. Why choose to die over something like that?”

“You can only save one… your worst enemy’s infant child, or your best friend’s true love. Who do you pick?”

Yuti: "I... w-would pick the child. N-no matter what, a child is n-not their parent. T-they are innocent and h-have their own life ahead of them.”

Reri: “Pfft. Easy. The kid. If yer too dumb ta avoid whatever danger is puttin’ a baby at risk, ya probably are gonna die when ya eat somethin’ poison cuz you thought it was candy. The kid ain’t trained enough ta stand on their own an’ frankly if it’s my worst enemy’s kid then they’ll probably grow up ta be a fun challenge.” Rahya: “Um... This is an awful weird question? I’m figurin’... um... I ain’t gonna let a baby die. I ain’t got no worst enemies but even if I did I ain’t gonna let a baby die. It ain’t right.”

Sayo: “... I... that is a difficult question. Sire would say that saving a respectable adult is more important unless the child is a Firstborn. I suppose that should be my answer...”

Tsukiko: “Why, whichever my master commanded. Truly it takes a cold individual to leave a child to a cruel and merciless fate but ah.. that may be what is ordered and I must obey.”

Meichi’a: “I am afraid I must say the true love. The child is innocent... but true love is the rarest thing of all. I would do my utmost to avenge the child but one who murders love is the cruelest beast of all.”

“Would you rather marry your most recent ex or spend five years in jail?”

Yuti: "T-that one is easy. My ex. S-she is a wonderful person. I-it would be by no m-means a bad fate.”

Reri: “Easy. Marry ‘em. Then I just ditch ‘em. Like what kinda question is this? Marriage ain’t important.” Rahya: “I ain’t really ever had an... ex-anythin’ so... um.. I guess imma get locked up.”

Sayo: “I have not had an ‘ex’ in any meaningful term... but it would depend on the circumstances. If it was marriage to someone my sire approved of then it would be my duty. If it was some sort of... tawdy kidnapping then I would choose imprisonment. I am certain Lord Vachir would come rescue me!”

Tsukiko: “*smile* Marriage, of course. Marriage is much easier to escape than prison.”

Meichi’a: “... Ah, what a question! How does one qualify an ex? The last woman I slept with? The last I took for a night on the town? I suppose she was rather charming but marriage? I’m not sure. It is a sacred bond and not easily broken. I suppose if I found love then yes. Otherwise.. well, jail it is!”

Thank you all for taking the time to answer these… ahem… questions. I appreciate your candor and I’m sure our readers do as well.  One last question of my own before we break. What’s next for you?

Yuti: "A-ah, I suppose I w-will continue my r-regular healing duties. I d-do have some e-exploration to do, m-maybe Lain will come along...”

Reri: “Same as ever. The four Fs. I hear there’s some kinda big arse monster bein’ spotted around recently, lookin’ forward ta tryin’ it out.” Rahya: “Um, I ain’t sure. Whatever happens ta me, I guess. i ain’t really plannin’...”

Sayo: “I intend to keep exploring Eorzea until I complete my mission.”

Tsukiko: “Whatever my Master commands. Until then, I suppose I will keep Kitakage out of trouble.”

Meichi’a: “Well, I saw this absolutely *beautiful* Elezen woman the other day, I am hoping perhaps to run into her again... ”

Tagged by: @peacekeeper-xiv

Tagging: @voidfirenate @anataerindottir @eyesseeingbeyondtheveil @onidephor @claihn Anyone else I missed!

[twilightvolt]

A 3 month late art summary featuring art that i haven’t uploaded here due to my absence. unless i randomly feel like it, i don’t think i’m gonna go back and upload them here. if you wanna see them, though, they’re all on my DA.

I know i've pretty much said all the important bits in A Sacrifice for the Wind, but i figure i reiterate everything said along with expanding upon everything that occurred during 2017. piece by piece. and yes, i did intend to make an art joke. So, to get it outta the way, 2017 stunk more than a dead fish on a city bus. i lost a lot during that year. i lost the will to believe in whatever the future had in store for me, i almost lost a few friends, i lost my motivation to work on my projects and above all...i lost the smile i've always kept on every year before that. never have i been so emotionally damaged in all 5 years of my artist life leading up to this point. But, i can't say it was completely terrible. as much as i bashed it, art wise, 2017 was a very progressive year. looking at every wedge on the clock, i can't stop staring at how far i've come since the end of 2016. after being stripped of my tablet at the end, i've even learned how to not be afraid of making permanent mistakes. But yeah, let's begin. by turning the clock all the way back to January. when things were much simpler.... January: Hukaro Nakawa ~Final Mix Yeah, this was done in October, but i uploaded it in January for Moon's birthday. plus, there was nothing noteworthy this month. i still remember all the nice comments i got. this was the beginning of a year that i ran right in and yelled "LET'S SHOW THIS WORLD THAT WE WON'T STAND FOR ANOTHER 2016!" Oh how naive i was... February: The Beast Inside Remember when i played a lot of League in my free time? i sure do. anyway, this was my next attempt after Hukaro to continue doing my "Squeenix Cinematic Style." this time on the, at the time, new revamp for Warwick. needless to say, i still think i did a better job on Hukaro. BUT, this was still pretty good. it was during these first few months when things were really lookin' up for me. i was continually working on things cuz i really wanted to make something and school was pretty cool too. March: Digimon ZX Cover ZX ISN'T DEAD I SWEAR! *ahem* I MEAN....hai. owo As we march on into March, i think R2 of Digimon Temporal Jump was going on at the time. we were going through our story entries and things were pretty great being with my best buds. i also began doing art streams i'm pretty sure, with this drawing in particular being done during two days of streaming. i'm being serious, by the way. ZX is not dead. i've been typing up the story on my phone, so look forward to those chapters sometime soon! April: Are You Ready? Yup. in anticipation for Digidestined.Com, i decided to start seriously developing Digimon Unchained ahead of time so people would be able to get to know Yuki beforehand. unfortunately, i didn't actually get to start the story until much later, but that was just me being a lazy bum. i was hangin' out on Discord and stuff, talking about how excited i was for what was to come. we all know what happened, but at the time, being able to go back to the world i once knew with Luneth was a big deal for me. it's like i was going back to the beginning. And fear not, peeps! i've been working on Unchained for quite awhile. you'd be surprised how much i've worked on it with Gao. ^w^ May: Bits n' Bytes Ultima Vocal Collection Oh yeah, i did a birthday gift for Fire too! just so you know, i do still wanna make OSTs for my other Digimon adventures, but without my tablet i can't really do them right now. this month was pretty alright if i remember. making new friends and strengthening bonds with old friends. things were pretty fun in the sun cuz y'know......summer was coming. June: Connection Flow in Ice and Snow AWWW YEEEAAAAH, LET'S KICK IT!!! *Another Way by Girugamesh plays at full blast* (if .Com had a vocal OST, that would be opening.....3 if i remember the list i made. would've been the final opening i think. it's been awhile since i looked at the files.) Now that .Com finally began, i was on the hype train to the sun as i feverishly worked hard on my .Com stuff. this poster was one of my proudest works this year tbh. i promised i would make something great outta this story. this would be the closure that Luneth and Vivi so desperately needed, and Yuki and Arcus would be the ones to save them and close their book for good. not only that, but i was also graduating high school. after throwing my cap in the air, i said my heartfelt goodbyes to all the friends i've known since elementary and middle school including the close friends in my AP Art Squad. Team AP Art Will Never be Apart! honestly, things couldn't be any more exciting for me. Gee, it would be a shame if something were to happen that would trigger a chain of events that would divide my friends forever and send me down a spiraling pain train to the void known as crippling depression. July: DigiJuly Day 5: V-Mon (Vivi) This drawing was done to commemorate three years of adventures with Luneth and Vivi. this was during DigiJuly, when i was doing Digimon doodles nonstop for the duration of the month. What was once a hype train became a train wreck once July came around. things were ok until DTJ burned down in a raging fire and that set the stage for the rest of the year. i literally wouldn't be able to overcome any of this until November or so. i don't wanna dwell on it anymore since i'd be sounding like a broken record at this point. August: D3P: D-Sona 3 Portable Not a lot of art this month either. can you believe that? XD Hoo boy. August. need i say anything more about this month? we thought things settled down after DTJ shut down, but something was amiss.... This was the month that it happened. the climax of the story best left untold....even though i told it a hundred times already. >_>' Outside of the incident, time was running short for our stay at our current home and we were thinking of our next move. i began to worry about college as steep student debt caused us to have a change of plans on where to go. i was beginning to doubt if i even had a future to believe in. i was running out of options, and i was running out of hope. And trust me, it only gets worse from here. September: The Next Generation After awhile, things were still going on outside my realm of knowledge. it only made me feel worse seeing everything transpire long after the initial conflict. with this stigma hanging over me, i finally decided to pack my bags and leave the Digimon group era of my artist life. it was a pretty sour note to end it on, but let's be real here, there was no way i could wait any longer for things to get better. granted, my birthday was awesome, and i couldn't thank everyone enough for coming together to try to bring my spirit back. unfortunately, my bout with depression was just beginning. it was so bad, i pretty much stopped taking care of myself, which would lead to a few days ago when i'd end up with one less tooth in my mouth. i swear i won't let it get that bad again. With everything plummeting down to the dark abyss, i said goodbye to the life i once knew. from here on, things were about to change. i wasn't gonna end here. not now. October: Howling in the Shadows From this month forth, my family had no idea where we were going. the beginning of the tale of the borderline homeless that still continues to this day. Packing away my computer and drawing tablet for what feels like an eternity, i was moving out of my current home that we rented for the duration of my senior year and into grandma's house......in a raging storm. i'm not kidding. the rain was so bad that when we got there, our clothes were completely soaked and we couldn't even see 5 feet ahead of us outside that night. i knew immediately that it was some sort of ill omen for what was to transpire in the coming months. in fact, i even had dreams of the aftermath of what might happen. Now that i was stripped of my digital art abilities, i had to think of something else to do. so, i decided to dedicate myself to going back to traditional art. Boy, did i have fun. November: Return to the Realm of Sleep Now, this was the only thing i was able to crank out in November. BUT, that doesn't mean i didn't draw. i drew stuff, but nothing noteworthy enough to upload here. i'm gonna tell it to you straight now. Arcus will return. With my mental health still kicking me in the butt (it hit me so hard i had a panic attack one day.), i wasn't really motivated to draw much. in fact, i even hid myself away from the internet for quite awhile. without my friends or my sense of purpose, i felt like i had nothing and i was pretty under the weather for a majority of this month. that being said, i snapped myself out of it by force. it was stupid that i still felt the way i did months after what happened. sure, it was horrible, and i wish i could forget everything. but i can't stay stuck in the past. And so, i picked up my colored pencils and other such tools, and began my journey to recovery. December: Lexicon (Lex) and A Sacrifice for the Wind I got the hang of drawing traditionally pretty quickly. throughout the month, i was on fire, drawing masterstroke after masterstroke. (at least, in my opinion. XD) Making my new home in the mobile communities of Amino, it was a nice change of pace from the big screen of my computer. i made a bunch of new friends (to the staff of the Aminos i'm in and the rest of the crew in our Digimon Discord server, you guys are the best and thank you for healing the pain of yesteryear!) and had a grand old time making new OCs, Lex being one of them. i honestly luv Appmon and i wish we got more, but i'm content with what we got tbh. it'll live on in Seikatsu and his friends. be ready to see them once again in the near future! And so, in the wake of destruction as the world continues to change around me, i chopped off my signature anime emo locks, revamped my wardrobe and set my sights toward the future. Nowadays, i've completely moved on from the pain, but that doesn't change the fact that it still happened. overall, 2017 was a complete pile of poopoo garbage and i'm glad the nightmare is finally over. Even if i can't completely write it off as bad, there's just way too many negatives that weigh down the rest of the year for me personally. it's March now and things are pretty hectic, but i've got newfound courage and i know this year will be better than the last. time for me to get back up and charge forth to a better tomorrow!

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

i follow a lot of meta writers who say dean's story doesn't make sense without destiel. for example, amara was about exposing how dean felt about cas; the heart stuff how she found dean by touching cas' heart follow your heart all that. i ship destiel but don't think it will be endgame (wish it would be honestly). can i ask what do you think dean's story is without a destiel exposition? Do the amara and MoC and Mary story lines make sense without it? What is Dean's personal story and endgame?

Dear anon,

first and foremost what I want to emphasize going into this reply is that people can take away whatever they want from the show and read it in a way that suits their viewing of what happens on screen. All of what we see in those 45 minutes of television is influenced and shaped by our own experiences and interests, by the things that speak to us and move us or the aspects and topics we deem important. For that very reason readings and views will always differ simply because we all have our own focus. Things that stand out to one person, aren’t important for another for the sole reason that we tend to latch onto and project what moves us most into the narrative and analyze what plays out in the episode accordingly. What I mean is: it’s natural to disagree, there isn’t such a thing as ONE and ONLY ONE RIGHT reading. And there is nothing shameful or wrong about disagreeing with someone else, it’s all about how one expresses those differences of opinion. No one is better or worse or stupid for not seeing what someone else may see that doesn’t fit to your personal impression and perception of the show. In short: Live and let live.

The reason I am prefacing my reply with this long, more general ramble is due to the fact that I feel the fighting within the fandom over “right ways of reading and watching the show” or “people being too stupid to realize the show is saying this and this and not that and that” has gotten to a ridiculous and toxic point in which tolerance is lacking all around and on all sides and is seriously tiring to me, because it is just mind baffling to me why people can’t just be happy with what they read and see in the show and share it with the ones who see it similarly, but have to force their views on everybody else and get nasty over people having another view and takeaway than them and throwing around insults like there is no tomorrow.

With that all out of the way, let me tell you my view on Dean’s story. And just to make that clear from the get go :) no, I don’t think Dean’s story only makes sense when taking Deancas into account. It’s alright for me, if people argue that and feel that way, but to me it’s simply not the case and also imo takes away from Dean as a character in his own right.

I enjoy(ed) Deancas and like interactions between Dean and Castiel (though tbh since S11 to me a lot has changed and I no longer feel passionate or strongly about them, because to me the writers and how they handle the relationship atm is just too hollow and soulless for my taste, it simply no longer has the depth and “spark” for lack of a better word that it used to have in seasons prior, which still speak to me and move me when it comes to these two characters), but I do truly take issues with people arguing that Dean or his story only makes sense in relation to Castiel. I have the same issues with people arguing that Dean’s story and Dean only makes sense in relation to Sam. Of course both people are relevant to Dean’s story, but to me another person/characters should never be the most important thing about another character. So yeah, both of these viewings are the same to me in their essence, because in both cases it discredits Dean as a character in his own right in measures and ways I personally find very sad, because it belittles Dean. And Dean is much more than the people he loves (and this actually one aspect that is actually part of the show for Dean to realize) and that is kind of one of the main things that I personally feel relevant for Dean’s arc and possible endgame: seeing himself as worthy and important unrelated to any other person/character.

[[This week’s episode imo has highlighted a great deal how I personally see Dean’s story spanning from the first season onwards and what his struggles were and are that need to be overcome for him to be happy (if you browse my 13x03gif tag you’ll find all the meta I already wrote on the topic).]]

It may be for the very reason that Dean always puts others first and worries about them that people tend to see Dean only as an extension to another character. To me personally therefore one of the main things that has been explored heavily all throughout Carver Era and with that the Moc and Amara arc is addressing how “unfree” Dean has been all his life and how he has never truly listened or maybe even truly found out what he himself wants and is without the people he “cares for” (that is btw one huge point that was made in this week’s episode when Kelly told Jack that he didn’t have to be like his mother or father, but just himself and how this drastically differs to Dean who has been both unwanted - see meta and gifs for that here), because that very aspect - Dean thinking he needs to be this or that (mother, father and brother from age 4 onwards - as he himself openly now emphasized wasn’t fair) - has become Dean’s entire “reason for existence”. He thinks of himself as only useful when he can be of service and that is one tragic and horrible way not only of thinking about yourself (as unworthy, etc.), but also to live, because as the show has highlighted again and again when Dean feels like he cannot be of help, he thinks he lacks a reason to live and slips even further into a depression that is always glowering there just underneath the surface.

Due to all of what I mentioned just yet, I personally find it highly unfortunate that some people tend to make Dean all about Sam or Cas, because it falls completely in the trap that causes Dean so many issues since he himself only views himself as an extension to someone else, but that by no means means that that is right - quite the opposite. And that is also one of the many issues I have with Dabb’s showrunning and S12 in particular as in seasons prior the narrative addressed the discrepancy of Dean feeling like he matters least, etc. but that the characters around him constantly showed that that is not the case, but only something happening inside Dean’s head. Now S12 blatantly made it text that Dean does indeed not matter himself and I will never not be absolutely disgusted about that, because throughout the entire season we saw Dean put down, his emotions ignored, lied to (really, the way the season started, Mary trampling all over her son, is so emblematic of what happened throughout the entire season as well) and none of the treatment he experienced got corrected in the end, but Dabb friggin decided that it is a stellar idea to have Dean only briefly express how his mother’s death shaped him and messed him up (and yes, I get that it is in line with who Dean is and how he thinks so little of himself and putsothers traumas and needs first while ignoring his own, because they seem less important - see how that narrative thread runs through the whole show?) but that ultimately Dean as a person once more would disappear by making it all about Sam and talking about how Sam suffered (never mind Dean did and does too) and it also only then that his friggin mother is showing any kind of interest in her son. Only when her one son talks about the other son. Yeah, nice work there. But really, what took the cake for me with all that was how Mary didn’t even wrap Dean into a hug when he fucking saved her, but she opts to fall into Sam’s arms. Sorry, but gahhhh, I’ll never not be epicly pissed off about this.

Considering all this I am not surprised when people tend to think Dean has no story of his own or that it doesn’t make sense without Deancas or Sam on the other hand, but to me as someone who is most interested in each character in their own right much more than in any possible pairing, it is frustrating, because you feel like you are an island and belong nowhere. But sorry, I got caught up in my disliking of S12, I’m trying to get back on track now.

So given all that and the whole aspect of Dean’s “lack of freedom” due to feelings of responsibility are a huge aspect that to me was integral in the entirety of the MoC arc and the Amara arc as to me it explored Dean’s feelings of inadequacy and showing and exploring how Dean may have always been the main symbol for “free will”, but rarely has had it himself. In that regard, and I know this may be an utterly unpopular opinion to many, I have always analyzed Dean’s MoC arc and his time as a demon as a sort of “rite of passage” that served as a setting stone for Dean’s liberation, because it was as a demon that for the first time Dean only did what he himself wanted. It’s of course just one small aspect of a much more complex overall storyline, but to me it is an integral part nonetheless. Dean wasn’t happy as a demon by a long shot, but he did only what he wanted without feeling bad about having wishes of his own.

During the MoC and Amara arc Dean’s lack of independency from the people closest to him was amplified by making Dean unable to control what happened within himself when he held the blade or was in Amara’s closer vicinity. He was other directed, a puppet that got its strings pulled and that thread has been an integral one for Dean since we saw him strung up in Hell and torn apart (literally) by ropes tearing him apart every which way. To me there couldn’t be a more fitting and sadder visual for how Dean spent his entire life: caught in the middle, trying to keep a family together that drifted apart and getting torn apart and ending up hurt and damaged by trying to keep all of it together.

So in a way Dean losing his agency to the mark and then later Amara was just the utter extreme of showing how Dean for most of his life has not lived and done what he himself wanted, but what others needed him to do. The theme is right there, right from the beginning of the show and culminates for the first time in S4 and S5 when Dean rejects to become and be what Heaven wants him to be. The same strength he showed in relation to Michael, he never was able to show when it came to things his father demanded of him for example. There is a a famous scene where Dean articulates that himself in “Sacrecrow” in S1

and it comes back up here and there across the seasons when Dean expresses that he wished he would have stood up against their father more, etc. - the entire episode 9x06 “Bad Boys” also shines a huge light on that whole topic as we get a glimpse of the Dean there, who was allowed to be just a teen without feeling burdened and responsible to join his father’s fight.

For me Dean’s entire arc spanning over the course of the show is a storyline about self discovery about coming of age and coming into his own (an no with that I don’t mean a “coming out”-story, though of course it could be worked in or rather go hand in hand with that, but Dean’s sexual liberation to me has never been an integral topic from the beginning of the show and explored deeply until now, whereas the other has - again everyone is open to disagree with me, I have no problems with anyone reading it different, but this is just my personal feeling on the matter). It’s a narrative focusing on identity for someone who has never truly had the chance to become who he would have been if he had never had to be what others needed him to be. Phew… that was a weird sentence, lol. Anybody else got a knot in their brain now? ;)

And last but not least (though frankly I could write like 10 times as much as I already did since this is such a complex question) since you bring up the heart symbolism. I don’t mean to piss anyone off, but the heart symbolism as such has been surrounding Dean long before Castiel even came into the show (and it’s one of my favorite topics aside from “Dean as a christ figure” and I’ve written countless meta on that topic - I’m gonna leave a bunch of links to metas behind the cut at the end of this meta, for anyone who is interested in talk about heart symbolism, liberation, Amara and MoC arc etc. - some may even feature Deancas, but 95%  are just about Dean - it is by no means all I have written on the topic, but a good start), so to me - while I have no problem with people connect the heart symbolism in recents seasons to Castiel and Dean - they aren’t connected to another character at all, but are solely a symbol and metaphor for Dean as a character, because Dean’s heart has always been his biggest asset, but also what makes him so vulnerable. Dean is the “heart” of the show, as he serves as the PoV character. But most of all the heart symbolism surrounding Dean to me also belongs to the whole identity thread. It is also after all that Dean’s metaphorical death and re-emergence as a demon as a stepping stone to his liberation and coming of age (the healing part is still hopefully to come) is brought on by him dying by being stabbed through the heart…

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/121901277911/this-is-easier-some-more-thoughts-on-the

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/69379178845/dean-winchesters-heart-is-a-puzzle

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/131476588721/11x02-form-and-void-shes-a-miracle

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/98552189146/this-is-a-story-a-marvelous-story-full-of-love

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/87629591461/go-right-ahead-put-a-blade-through-your

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/67585667715/of-werevolves-tin-men-dean-winchester-and-his

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/110615479616/dustydreamsanddirtyscarsdeans-physical-and

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/66175602035/things-about-9x05-dog-dean-afternoon-3

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/127498203661/the-original-serpent-3

[takaraphoenix]

OK OK OK So I really really fell in love with your Helios x Apollo story and I've been toying with asking you about writing a small thing about Helios' reaction to Zeus banishing Apollo? And what he does about it. Or just his reaction to Zeus /trying/ to banish Apollo. A sort of fix-it-so-it-never-happens type thing. Totes get you're bogged down with stuff so if you don't have time that's totally okay. If you do decide to do it, could I get it by January 4th?

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || (You are here)|| The whole thing on AO3

Helios was exhausted.

His duties were straining in on themselves, but in the past years in particular. After all, his lover was very busy with Olympian duties - mainly so related to his prophetic gifts. So Helios, being the good, caring boyfriend he was, of course took over some of his lover’s duties. Mainly the sun-related ones.

Only that his duties had been very straining and distracting lately. Especially the closer the Giant War drew. Helios hated that. He wished to stand by his lover’s side, have Apollo’s back.

Apollo had smiled sweetly at him, those mismatched eyes sparkling brightly as he had leaned up on his tip-toes to kiss Helios’ cheek and then shove him hard.

His little sunshine was a fighter, not just a lover. Helios knew that. Of course did he know that. The only one matching him with a bow and arrow was his twin-sister Artemis. Apollo could hold himself in a fight if he had to.

That didn’t mean Helios wanted him in the middle of a fight though. A war no less.

Yet this one… was different.

Gods loved using demigods as pawns. But this war required the gods to also fight themselves. To slay the Giants at the demigods’ side.

Helios trusted his sunshine. He knew Apollo would be fine during the war. And now that the war was over, Helios was looking forward to embracing his lover again, just grab Apollo, take him home and live in peace for a century or two.

Maybe take some time off to spend in Alfheim? They did have this cozy little vacation home there… It would be nice. And Apollo surely would be happy to spend more time with his best friend Frey. That might sway Apollo.

And to be honest, that idea wasn’t so spontaneous. Helios had spent the past few weeks preparing said vacation home, making it as homey as possible for his love. Apollo deserved the rest.

“Helios, my dear, old friend.”

Helios paused. He didn’t turn around. That sweet voice, like poisoned honey. A scowl etched its way onto his face as he took a deep breath to turn around and give Loki Laufeyson a piece of his mind. Said piece of mind was stuck in his throat when he noticed that Loki wasn’t alone.

“Hel Lokisdatter. A rare pleasure, milady”, stated Helios, voice very soft as he bowed.

He knew to respect a king or queen when he met them, regardless what pantheon they were from. Hel offered him the smallest smile in return, a shy one. Her long hair fell into her face, covering the rotting half and only revealing the beautiful one. Her dress, long sleeves on one side, a glove that reached all the way up to her shoulder in addition to it. She half hid behind her father and Loki, as always, stood in a protective stance in front of his only daughter.

The trickster had a pleased half-smirk on his face as he regarded Helios curiously, fingers playing with his well-groomed goaty as he tilted his head. It were his eyes that had always unsettled Helios, if he was being honest. Green as poison, shimmering silver with lies and danger.

Helios stood straight, looking at the two Norse gods curiously. What were they doing in Alfheim? Loki preferred… Well, none really, he was always everywhere - wherever he could cause most mischief. But Hel? The queen of Helheim? Why would the Ice Queen seek the realm of the sun god? Helios could see how clearly uncomfortable the goddess was, looking a bit red-cheeked there.

“Listen, this isn’t a favor for you, Titan”, stated Loki, voice unusually serious.

“A favor?”, echoed Helios surprised. “What do you want, lie smith?”

Helios was startled as Loki threw a golden apple at him. Helios blinked slowly, eyes wide as he stared at the holy fruit. The immortality granting fruit, guarded by the Goddess Iduna for all the gods and pantheons (though she had gardeners assisting her from all the pantheons too. The Hesperides from the Graeco-Romans, for example). Not many knew that ambrosia, the food of the gods that granted them immortality, was actually made, among other ingredients, of the golden apples.

“Father speaks the truth”, pieped Hel up, looking displeased. “That’s why I’m here. I know how unreasonably unrealistic that statement is.”

“Hey. A bit more respect for your old man”, grunted Loki with a glare.

Hel gave him a deadpan look before returning her attention to Helios once more. “Your Olympians have decided to strip one of your own off his immortality. Your king couldn’t make that decision without Hades knowing. After all, a god now runs the danger of being killed and dying. And, well, when I was in the park with my puppy Garm last week, we walked with Hades and Zerberus for a while and he mentioned it. And when I heard who…”

Helios didn’t like where this was going. He gripped the apple tighter. Loki’s smirk grew more knowing and wicked. Helios had the urge to throw the apple into his pretty face.

“My dear daughter told me and I could not let it stand like that”, drawled Loki. “I mean, he is my best friend’s favorite brother. Hermes would be quite unbearable if something happened to precious Apollo.”

“Then why not go to Hermes?”, asked Helios, still suspicious.

“Ah”, grunted Loki with a careless shrug. “Daddy issues. You know the guy can’t go up agains Zeus. You? A Titan? This could be… entertaining.”

Helios gritted his teeth and averted his eyes to stare at the floor. Loki and Hel remained for a long stretch of silence. He really didn’t like Loki - mainly because Loki and Apollo had kind of a fling prior to Helios and Apollo getting together. Helios wasn’t a fan of how much Loki enjoyed reminding him of this.

“Thank you, Loki. You… have my grattitude”, grunted Helios out unwillingly. “You too, Queen Hel.”

The self-satisfied smile on Loki’s face made Helios really want to throw the apple. “My, it would be a shame if something so pretty would be wasted. Just… take care of this, Titan.”

“I will, Eldojotun”, replied Helios sharply, watching with satisfaction how Loki flinched.

The Aes did not like being reminded that his status as a god was an earned one and that, foremost, he was still a born Fire Giant. Loki sneered at him briefly before returning to his charming smile.

“Very well then. Come along, sweetie. Grandma invited us for tea and cake”, declared Loki, waving a dismissive hand in Helios’ general direction.

“Oh! Grandma Laufey makes the best cakes. Bye, Helios”, chimed Hel, seemingly far more motivated by that prospect.

With that, the two Norse gods disappeared. Leaving Helios with his apple.

“W–Who in the world…?”, grunted a startled teenager.

The boy, with messy black hair, stared up at Helios with surprised, sea-green eyes. Helios only spared the human one glance before turning to the one in the boy’s company. A scowl found its way onto Helios’ face as he threw the golden apple at his boyfriend. Apollo smiled brighter than the sun as he caught it.

“Oh! Wonderful. Early rescue. Just started wondering where our new little dynamic duo was going to head next to solve this little… problem of mine”, chimed Apollo happily, rubbing the apple against his robes. “Huh. Those things are not handed out easily. Iduna is possessive of them. How did you…?”

“A thief dropped it off”, growled Helios and grabbed Apollo by the arm. “Come.”

“…I don’t like it when you’re angry”, noted Apollo dubiously. “Are you… angry with me?”

“No”, replied Helios, the growl growing darker as the sky above them clouded over. “Someone else. I’m glad you’re fine, my love.” His voice grew gentler at that as he cupped Apollo’s cheek and checked him for injuries before turning toward the human. “Thank you, for protecting my sunshine. I am indebted to you. If any god gives you a hard time again, call for Helios and I will stand by your side.”

“A free favor from a god. That’s a new one. Cool.”

Apollo wrapped one arm aroung Helios’ neck, the other hand still holding the apple as he brought it up to his rosy lips and took a large bite from it. To grand immortality, one needed a whole apple. The tiny bit that was mushed into the ambrosia was enough to keep the immortality going for the gods, but it would never be enough to restore Apollo’s godhood. Apollo yelped as Helios teleported them away.

The sky around Olympus darkened as though night had come early. Zeus frowned confused. He knew Helios was taking care of the sun - it was the main reason why he had even gotten his punishment for Apollo through.

“How dare you”, roared an angry, dark voice.

Zeus sat up straighter on his throne as the Sun Titan materialized in front of him, looking like a vicious, avenging angel. There were still many Titans around and the general rule of thumb was to perhaps not anger them. They were ancient and also powerful in most cases. Zeus blinked as he spotted his son behind Helios. The son Zeus had only just banished from Olympus.

“Apollo”, growled Zeus in warning.

“No”, hollered Helios.

“You broke an Oath of Styx twice, siring two demigods.

You interfered and turned one of them into a tree to cheat Death himself.

You are the king and were responsible to keep things such as Tartarus secure yet you allowed for your Father to reform and nearly overthrow you.

You let a teenage boy steal your symbol of power.

You let your son Ares allign himself with Kronos during the Titan War without repercussions.

You let your wife make a fool out of you by playing with the memories of the heroes and having Romans and Greeks mingle, single-handedly throwing all of Olympus into an identity crisis that very well nearly cost you all your lives and this war.

And yet here you are, acting like you are the one, true king who does no wrong. Punishing Apollo for… What exactly did he do wrong? He has helped your little pawns during both wars. He has done his best to restore the Oracle after it had been lost because you had to anger Lord Hades.”

Helios had stalked up to Zeus and by now was lifting the young god up by his throat, a nasty expression on Helios’ face as he squeezed. No amount of thundering and sparks was going to get Zeus out of the supernova-hot burning fury of a Sun Titan.

“You will never lay a hand on Apollo again or you will find yourself right down there alongside your father”, growled Helios in warning. “Believe me, no one is pleased with you and Hera anymore. The past handful of years alone have proven what incapable rulers you have become. You allowed not one, not two, but four major wars to happen right under your nose within the last century alone. And so far, the only thing keeping from a revolution is that everyone is still licking their wounds. But so help me Chaos herself, if you ever lay hand on Apollo again, I will personally throw the first speer.”

Zeus looked positively mortified as Helios just dropped him. Still glowering, Helios went to his lover and picked Apollo up bridal-style before teleporting them to Alfheim. Apollo blinked dazed up at him as he slowly oriented himself.

“That was… really fucking hot”, grunted Apollo stunned. “My knight in golden-shining armor.”

Grinning and batting his eyelashes playfully, Apollo pulled Helios down into a kiss. “We’re taking a vacation. Right now.”

“No arguments from me, babe”, hummed Apollo pleased.

THE END

So you caught me on the right foot there. Because I just got back from seeing Thor: Ragnarok and I needed some comfort. Fics are comfort. And I found a nice way of including Hel and Loki in this too. Pleased by that. I hope this was the kind of comfort you were looking for too there? ;)

[shirleydazzle]

Debt and Bankruptcy

When I decided to ask my Wife to marry me I felt pressure to purchase a ring that – at the time – was way too expensive for me. I wasn’t a bankruptcy lawyer at the time. I loved her – so why wouldn’t I do everything I could to show my love? Right? I had access to credit. The bank reassured me that it would be easy to repay. Well, I was wrong. I made a stupid decision. I went into debt. I went into debt at the wrong time for the wrong reason with little to no income to pay it back. And that ring? Well, it was a really nice ring but my Wife later lost it – twice! (….a great story for another day).

The debt for that ring was hard to pay off. I remember struggling to pay back the debt and feeling like a failure. The harder I worked the more difficult it seemed. My entire paycheck was gone before I even received it! I had no control over my finances because the creditor controlled me.

Feeling ashamed for our debt is a real thing.

Don’t believe me? Check this out:

“Money is also intimately linked with our inner lives. Its presence, or lack thereof, has profound physical, mental and emotional repercussions. Perhaps in more ways than we would like to admit, money has tremendous power over us. … Any of the aforementioned negative emotional responses to debt may be serious enough to require medical or psychological intervention.” from debt.org

National Foundation for Credit Counseling – “[C]onducted a poll asking participants to finish this sentence: “I’d be most embarrassed to admit my…” And respondents made it clear that debt shame in the United States is worse than even diet shame. A whopping 37% of people answered that their credit card debt was the most embarrassing, followed by 30% of respondents admitting they wouldn’t want to fess up to their credit score. Weight made only 12% of people sweat, and came in a distant third place.”

I don’t think anyone is immune to money problems. So I assume that you’ve all had some type of similar situation. Being in debt at the wrong time for the wrong reasons. You may or may not be to blame for the money issues (e.g. medical debt), but you know what it feels like to stay up late at night wondering how you’re going to get out of the situation you’re in.

You know what it feels like to feel there is no way out. You know what it is like to think about your debt hour after hour. You lose sleep over it. You think that people close to you judge. You may ever start to think that you are less of a person because of it.

Now, imagine being in that type of situation and then having a debt collector call you and appear to confirm to you all of the irrational fears mentioned above. You may be told that you are a terrible person. That you did this to yourself. That your family is embarrassed because of you. And for some reason, there are thousands of us who believe these debt collectors! A client recently told me that a debt collector threatened to call the police and have her arrested for not paying a debt! Can you believe that? It happens more than you would think.

It’s been my life’s work and passion to help people realize that no matter what life has thrown their way they shouldn’t feel embarrassed or broken when it comes to debt. I stress over and over to my Clients that they should not despair – there is almost always a way out that doesn’t turn out to be nearly as bad as they might think.

Sometimes the way out is bankruptcy and sometimes it is not. It all depends on the situation. Regardless of whether my clients end up filing for bankruptcy – all of us have the following rights when it comes to harassing debt collectors. To provide some sense of relief, here are some quick basics on the rights you do have:

The Fair Debt Collection Practices Act (FDCPA) is a federal law that can prohibit debt collectors from using practices that may be abusive, unfair or deceptive. In addition to the Federal law, your state should have a consumer protection statute that can also prohibit deceptive practices as well as unfair or unconscionable practices. You should become familiar with both the FDCPA and your state’s consumer protection law(s). A good way of doing so it to schedule a consultation with a local attorney

Make them prove it: If you receive a phone call from a debt collector demanding payment, demand to receive proof of the debt. Simply paying out of fear can be costly. You may be waiving your statute of limitations defense or paying a debt that doesn’t belong to you! A jury recently awarded a Kansas City woman $83 million against a debt collector suing for wrongfully suing her for a $1,000 credit card bill that wasn’t hers.

Phone Call Limit: I don’t believe any Court has ruled on a specific number of calls per day that would be prohibited. A court would likely look into the situation on a case-by-case basis to determine if the debt collector’s calls were harassing. In general, the FDCPA prohibits debt collectors from calling you with excessive frequency. This would include repeated calls or continuous calls so as to be annoying, harassing or abusive. Obviously, if a debt collector calls with a series of calls one after another this would be prohibited

Contacting you at work: The FDCPA allows a debt collector to call you at work unless the debt collector knows – or has reason to know – that you or your employer prohibit such contact. Simply telling the debt collector to stop calling you at work should do the trick. However, if you can get the request in writing you would be better off

Calling your cell phone: The FDCPA can prohibit debt collectors from calling your cell phone in certain situations. For example, a debt collector cannot call you at an inappropriate time. If you inform the debt collector that the call was made to your cell phone while you are at work this is an inappropriate time. Another federal law, the Telephone Consumer Protection Act can also prohibit certain debt collector contact to your cell phone

There are recent attempts to fix the wrongs committed by debt collectors. Debt collection practices are so horrible that the “U.S. Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has proposed new rules for the debt collection industry that include limiting collectors’ communication with debtors.”

Law changes can take time. So, until the laws tighten up on debt collectors use these tools and stop shaming yourself. There is a way out. And the way out will be easier than you think. Don’t let your debt define and control you.

Free Consultation with a Bankruptcy Lawyer

If you have a bankruptcy question, or need to file a bankruptcy case, call Ascent Law now at (801) 676-5506. Attorneys in our office have filed over a thousand cases. We can help you now. Come in or call in for your free initial consultation.

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[dunkcarlton]

Debt and Bankruptcy

When I decided to ask my Wife to marry me I felt pressure to purchase a ring that – at the time – was way too expensive for me. I wasn’t a bankruptcy lawyer at the time. I loved her – so why wouldn’t I do everything I could to show my love? Right? I had access to credit. The bank reassured me that it would be easy to repay. Well, I was wrong. I made a stupid decision. I went into debt. I went into debt at the wrong time for the wrong reason with little to no income to pay it back. And that ring? Well, it was a really nice ring but my Wife later lost it – twice! (….a great story for another day).

The debt for that ring was hard to pay off. I remember struggling to pay back the debt and feeling like a failure. The harder I worked the more difficult it seemed. My entire paycheck was gone before I even received it! I had no control over my finances because the creditor controlled me.

Feeling ashamed for our debt is a real thing.

Don’t believe me? Check this out:

“Money is also intimately linked with our inner lives. Its presence, or lack thereof, has profound physical, mental and emotional repercussions. Perhaps in more ways than we would like to admit, money has tremendous power over us. … Any of the aforementioned negative emotional responses to debt may be serious enough to require medical or psychological intervention.” from debt.org

National Foundation for Credit Counseling – “[C]onducted a poll asking participants to finish this sentence: “I’d be most embarrassed to admit my…” And respondents made it clear that debt shame in the United States is worse than even diet shame. A whopping 37% of people answered that their credit card debt was the most embarrassing, followed by 30% of respondents admitting they wouldn’t want to fess up to their credit score. Weight made only 12% of people sweat, and came in a distant third place.”

I don’t think anyone is immune to money problems. So I assume that you’ve all had some type of similar situation. Being in debt at the wrong time for the wrong reasons. You may or may not be to blame for the money issues (e.g. medical debt), but you know what it feels like to stay up late at night wondering how you’re going to get out of the situation you’re in.

You know what it feels like to feel there is no way out. You know what it is like to think about your debt hour after hour. You lose sleep over it. You think that people close to you judge. You may ever start to think that you are less of a person because of it.

Now, imagine being in that type of situation and then having a debt collector call you and appear to confirm to you all of the irrational fears mentioned above. You may be told that you are a terrible person. That you did this to yourself. That your family is embarrassed because of you. And for some reason, there are thousands of us who believe these debt collectors! A client recently told me that a debt collector threatened to call the police and have her arrested for not paying a debt! Can you believe that? It happens more than you would think.

It’s been my life’s work and passion to help people realize that no matter what life has thrown their way they shouldn’t feel embarrassed or broken when it comes to debt. I stress over and over to my Clients that they should not despair – there is almost always a way out that doesn’t turn out to be nearly as bad as they might think.

Sometimes the way out is bankruptcy and sometimes it is not. It all depends on the situation. Regardless of whether my clients end up filing for bankruptcy – all of us have the following rights when it comes to harassing debt collectors. To provide some sense of relief, here are some quick basics on the rights you do have:

The Fair Debt Collection Practices Act (FDCPA) is a federal law that can prohibit debt collectors from using practices that may be abusive, unfair or deceptive. In addition to the Federal law, your state should have a consumer protection statute that can also prohibit deceptive practices as well as unfair or unconscionable practices. You should become familiar with both the FDCPA and your state’s consumer protection law(s). A good way of doing so it to schedule a consultation with a local attorney

Make them prove it: If you receive a phone call from a debt collector demanding payment, demand to receive proof of the debt. Simply paying out of fear can be costly. You may be waiving your statute of limitations defense or paying a debt that doesn’t belong to you! A jury recently awarded a Kansas City woman $83 million against a debt collector suing for wrongfully suing her for a $1,000 credit card bill that wasn’t hers.

Phone Call Limit: I don’t believe any Court has ruled on a specific number of calls per day that would be prohibited. A court would likely look into the situation on a case-by-case basis to determine if the debt collector’s calls were harassing. In general, the FDCPA prohibits debt collectors from calling you with excessive frequency. This would include repeated calls or continuous calls so as to be annoying, harassing or abusive. Obviously, if a debt collector calls with a series of calls one after another this would be prohibited

Contacting you at work: The FDCPA allows a debt collector to call you at work unless the debt collector knows – or has reason to know – that you or your employer prohibit such contact. Simply telling the debt collector to stop calling you at work should do the trick. However, if you can get the request in writing you would be better off

Calling your cell phone: The FDCPA can prohibit debt collectors from calling your cell phone in certain situations. For example, a debt collector cannot call you at an inappropriate time. If you inform the debt collector that the call was made to your cell phone while you are at work this is an inappropriate time. Another federal law, the Telephone Consumer Protection Act can also prohibit certain debt collector contact to your cell phone

There are recent attempts to fix the wrongs committed by debt collectors. Debt collection practices are so horrible that the “U.S. Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has proposed new rules for the debt collection industry that include limiting collectors’ communication with debtors.”

Law changes can take time. So, until the laws tighten up on debt collectors use these tools and stop shaming yourself. There is a way out. And the way out will be easier than you think. Don’t let your debt define and control you.

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