#and just how old do they think Dino is? he was already in his 60s could he really go up against new Ash by the time he turns 16 or something

[unremarkablehouse]

Laundry

Rated X | WC: 1342 | NSFW | AO3 | @today-in-fic

Summary: Set post revival this ficlet is domestic fluff (and fold, because laundry is involved), with a lot of smut.

Scully’s whole body aches with exhaustion as she makes her way into their house. The house feels deserted, a harsh reminder that she’s finished work late. It’s only 9pm, but without the noise of her daughter and Mulder it feels like the dead of night. She pokes her head into her child’s room, watching the little girl sleep deeply and contently. A pang of Mom guilt washes over her when she muses about missing bedtime again. At 4 years old her baby is growing up too fast, and Scully simultaneously wishes she could just slow time down but also loves watching her new milestones.

With a sigh Scully gives the little girl a kiss on her forehead and leaves for the kitchen, expecting to run into Mulder along the way.

The kitchen is quiet, she pokes in the fridge and sees Mulder has made some sort of quinoa salad to eat and takes the bowl out along with an opened bottle of white wine. She pours herself a glass and grabs a fork to pick at the salad straight from the large bowl. It’s pretty good and she wonders how much of it her daughter actually ate. She’s surprisingly open minded when it comes to trying different foods, although Mulder still incorporates Dino nuggets and fluorescent Mac n cheese to keep things balanced. Taking another sip of her wine Scully gets a little concerned realizing she still hasn’t heard a peep from Mulder and she’s been home at least 20mins. Scully walks through the house, sipping her glass of wine and spots him in the laundry room. It’s a sight to behold, Mulder standing with his back towards her, concentrating hard while trying to match tiny socks, a large basket of laundry neatly folded next to him on the bench. Even in his early 60s, Mulder’s physique is sexy and muscular. The dichotomy of his hardbody and the gentle care he’s taking with the laundry hits Scully hard as she’s filled with adoration for the care this man takes of his family, and how good he looks doing. Scully pops herself up on the washing machine and takes a seat with her glass of wine. “Hi” she says, enjoying Mulder’s surprised smile as he turns around and sees her. “I didn’t hear you come in, how was your day?”

Mulder puts down the socks and turns around to give Scully a quick kiss on the lips, then takes a sip from her wine glass. Scully’s hand scratches through his hair keeping him close to her. “My day was good, but I think we could make it better.” She bites her lip and gives him the look, and there’s no mistaking her signals, she wants him. Taking the hint, Mulder takes her wine from her hands again and places it on the dryer next to them. Scully watches him closely, amused by his suave bravado as he steps between her legs and kisses her neck. “I never realized laundry was such a turn on for you Scully?” “You should see how hot I get when you scrub the bathrooms” Scully says with a cool laugh, wanting him to work a little bit for it. Not breaking eye contact Mulder pushes into her as he reaches behind her to turn on the washer, purposely thrusting into her. “Sorry, gotta start the whites.” Scully laughs as the machine comes to life while she’s perched on it. “I’ve got to admit this whole thing is definitely working for me.” She pulls Mulder in for a kiss and his hands start making their way up her shirt. He’s surprised by how hard her nipples are already and rolls one around between his fingers before moving to the next, the lace providing a rough friction that makes Scully moan. “I’ve been doing laundry for years, why have you suddenly developed a laundry fetish?” Scully talks into his neck as she answers, kissing his jugular. “I think it’s a combination of that clean laundry smell and seeing you folding.” Mulder slowly grinds against her, kissing her once more and whispering into her mouth “well you’ve got to fold straight away or your clothes will get wrinkled.” Scully’s moan of approval is all the encouragement he needs to continue his cleaning foreplay. As he guides his hand up her skirt and underneath her underwear he whispers in her ear “I pre-treated the whites and let them soak before washing.” Scully enthusiastically cries ‘yes’ as Mulder starts to finger her, amused by how noticeably aroused is. He quickly covers her mouth with his as she goes to cry out louder, trying to stifle the noise. “Gotta keep it down or we’ll wake up Peanut”, Mulder says close to her face but Scully has ceased to register sound. The heavy vibration of the washing machine combined with Mulder’s hands has her blissed out and she starts to feel an intense pressure build up deep inside her abdomen as her orgasm begins to crest. Clutching onto his arm and muffling the sounds of her screams into his shoulder Scully finally finishes in a panting mess. “Holy shit, that was incredible,” Scully says in a breathless marvel. Mulder is a little confused and amused by Scully’s intense reaction to what has amounted to 5 minutes of foreplay. “What was that? I barely touched you?” Mulder asks with a proud laugh. “The washing machine is vibrating and rocking,” Scully says, still panting. “Ah, mechanical assistance, nice. Should we finish this in the bedroom?” Mulder asks hopefully. “No, here, now!” Scully demands, grabbing at Mulder’s pants. He’s invigorated by her enthusiasm and frees his hard cock, who also seems to be enjoying Scully’s audaciousness tonight. Pushing her underwear aside Mulder thrusts in hard and to the hilt, stopping to kiss Scully deeply. From inside of her he can feel the intense vibration of the washing machine and the spasms of Scully’s pussy around his cock. He starts a steady rhythm trying to compliment the rock of the machine and within a few thrusts he feels Scully start to go off again. Picking up speed he knows he’s not going to last much longer, between machines vibrations and Scully’s convulsions, he’s in sensory overload as the tension starts to build. Suddenly Scully’s legs tightened around his ass as she continued to contract, drawing him in even deeper. And with that Mulder loses it, coming hard just as the washing machine slows down as it finishes its final spin cycle. They both seem to lose consciousness for a while, taking a decent amount of time before they recover. Mulder pulls out and hands Scully a clean washcloth from the folded laundry pile to aid with clean up. As she half heartedly wipes between her legs she finds herself still in a stunned haze. “Mulder, that was incredible” Scully’s voice still giddy from the endorphins and bewildered by the bizarre nature of the whole thing. Mulder pats the side of the washing machine, “MVP right here!” She grabs his shirt and pulls him in for a kiss, “no, you’re the MVP Mulder.” Mulder gently lifts her off the washing machine and helps her to her feet, placing a soft kiss on the crown of her head that makes Scully swoon just a little. He quickly takes the finished washing out of the machine and into the dryer, turning it on with a wink to Scully. “Come on woman, let’s go cuddle on the couch and watch the late show. Have you eaten enough?” Scully shakes her head ‘no’, still not fully recovered enough for discursive sentences. “Alright, I’ll make you a grilled cheese sandwich. The quinoa will keep.” Mulder grabs her wine glass as they leave the laundry and hands it to Scully while he grabs the basket of folded clothes so they can be put away. “Hey Mulder-“ Scully calls from the couch over to him. “Yeah?” “I love doing life with you.” This earns her a big goofy Mulder grin, “I love doing life with you too.”

Please note that having sex on your washing machine may lead to unbalanced load errors and is not recommended. Be sure to empty your dryer lint traps regularly.

[popculturebuffet]

Loud House Reviews: The Purrfect Gig

The Sam/Luna trilogy comes to an end here, as we get to the most recent of their now annual episodes, each so far produced and aired toward the end of the season. That being said like last season Sam had at least one apperance before this as I saw her in the thumbnail to “Deep Cuts”, the OTHER Lunacentric episode this season. And while it sounded bad to me at first looking into it.. no. The writers, for the most part, gave almost every kid two episodes a piece, and last season gave each 3, so to the writers credit they TRY to ballance out who gets episodes.  

The exceptions are Lincoln, who has around 5 that don’t also feature the girls as a whole, and 2 of those are with Lana, Lori who has 4, 2 of them shared and justifed as she’s possibly leaving for College next season and thus her episodes outside of one focus ont hat, and Lana and Lola: Lana has 3, and Lola has 2, and both have one together. And really even with those imballances it’s really impressive the show juggles 14 leads, with the parents themselves getting 2 this year too, along with Clyde, not counting his ones with Lincoln. | And that’s WITH the baffling decision this season to have the first 5 episodes be “With THe Cassagrandes”, i.e. 5 episodes of the Casagrandes that are counted as loud house episode that weren’t produced over at the sister show for some reason. And I have nothing against the Cassagrandes, what i’ve seen it’s not a bad show: I already have gone on about how much I love bobby, and I also love CJ and new comer Sam. I love the fact it has plenty of representation and a diffrent kind of big family, I love the theme song and I love the fact Melissa Joan Heart is on it because she’s terrific and spent the last decade really not picking her roles well. She was the lead in Holiday in Handcuffs, aka the movie where she kidnaps Mario Lopez and holds him at gunpoint to pretend to be her fiance until he gets Stockholm syndrome for really flimsy reasons. But I dont’ feel i’ts fair to the show to wedge it into another show’s spot: The Cassagrande-Santiago clan has shown up in 2 half hour loud houses and 2 15 minute eps. The kids watching KNOW these characters, and reception of the loudest mission was positive enough to get a spinoff made. You don’t need to spend a huge amount of another show’s episode order to promote a show kids will likely watch because it has characters from a show that airs all the time and is uber popular and has a similar humor style, and fans of the Loud House will at least try becuase they like the mothership and have known was coming for years now. This show HAD an audience going in. I watched both American Dad and the Clevland Show because it was from the same crew as family guy which I liked at the time. Granted American Dad had a decent stretch and Clevland Show .. had David LYnch as a recurring cast member I guess? Seriously david, this and not gravity falls? The point is it feels insulting that they felt the need to try and promote the show more, and all they did was take up episodes of the loud house and confuse children, and possibly turn viewers off a show they would’ve watched anyways. And if your wondering why I took such a massive detour it’s simple: Other than noticing the fact they’ve been specifically making sure each sibling gets more than one spotlight episode, shared or not, and this dumb decision.. Season 4 isn’t THAT much diffrent than Season 3. It carries on plots started there  (Lori heading towards college, Luann and Luna’s relationship), but otherwise it’s basically just more shipping and shenanigans. But really. .that’s far from a bad thing, as I consider season 3 a highwater mark for the show, and it introduced a lot of neat new elements (Lynn’s Table, Stella, Leni having a job) that are still prevelant in season 4. It’s not bad and it’s even more understandable given that next season, every character is growing a year (thank you press releases), meaning they have tons of new plots to explore, and large status quo shifts with Lincoln going to middle school, which out of the four schools shown is so far the most underdeveloped and will need development, and Lori possibly moving out of the house and going to college, among many other things that have me chomping at the bit for next season. But that’s probably a few months away so for now, it’s time to get back on focus and with everything else out of the way, the actual review of this episode starts under the cut. 

We open with Luna sitting in bed sighing when her poster of Mick Swagger starts talking to her. Whatever she’s smoking I could really use some. Depression is a bitch. Anyways, her drug induced hallucination of her hero starts talking to her. I haven’t really talked about Mick yet since the show uses him sporadically but he’s exactly what you’d expect; The show’s version of Rolling Stones front man Mick Jagger, only slightly younger.. maybe. I dunno. Maybe he’s been around since the 60′s and is just a timelord. Or a groovy robot. Or has a dorian grey thing going on. We haven’t really gotten into Dino Spimoni situation yet where Luna helps her idol and has to help him reunite with a partner or convince him to stop faking his death. Just a reminder that Hey Arnold is great and that if you think it’s odd his crooner dean martin based idol got talked out of faking his death by a 12 year old, keep in mind he also tracked down the daughter his vitamise neighbor gave up so she could go to america and have a better life, helped convince his neighbors not divorce, and had to save his pig from being eaten in a revolutionary war reinactment. Hey Arnold was far weirder than I remembered and i’m here for it.  Anyways, Hallucination Mick asks if Luna is coming to his concert this weekend, and she HOPES so she just dosen’t have the money for  VIP pass to meet the actual version and do drugs with the actual mick swagger for a change. He says you never know when opportunity will come a knockin and it does in the form of the McBrides! Clyde’s dad’s Howard, the skinny one voiced by national treasure Micheal McDonald and Wayne Brady whose also great.. and i’m not just saying that because i’ve seen this. Don’t be absurddddd....

Howard and Harold are Clyde’s dads... and while Clarence and Steven Universe beat them to having Gay parents in a children’s cartoon, their still the first interacial gay couple in a children’s cartoon, and on a nicktoon period, and even if they weren’t either of those it’d still be fucking great. Anyways the two are nice characters, while i haven’t seen EVERY ep with them their a loving couple, nice parents, and treat the loud kids as their own.. granted that goes too far in one episode, but still, thems good people.  Anyway Howards having a panic attack, respect, and as his husband calms him down, we find out why: the mcbrides are going to pick up nana for the annual family reunion, and their catsitter cancled. Hence Howard’s freakout and Harold worrying about the 20 pounds of amish potato salad in the trunk. So naturally their hoping someone can watch their cats, Cleopawtra and Nefurtiti for the day, and them going to the louds makes sense, both for the obvious of the Louds being their closest friends in the neighborhood, and the not so obvious of a previous episode I haven’t seen having established the older kids as the best babysitters in royal woods, meaning that in addition to knowing them they have skill and this likely isn’t the first time. Luna, not thinking about herself, admits Lori went to hit the golf course early and Leni is at work, a nice way to explaning why it’s Luna that gets the job: She was there and it was implied by the fact she was getting high and talking to her hallucination that Luann isn’t, so most of the other options they’d have without some reservations are gone with no contrivance necessary.  Anyways Luna’s Drug Fueld hallucination,  points out money can be exchanged for goods and services, such as VIP passes, and also mentions sam already has hers. Either Luna’s forgot or her hallucination can use her phone. Either is probable, and is backed up by Hallucination Sam, before both start playing their guitars and Luna air guitars with them. I”m unsuprsied by all of this. She offers and the McBrides take her up on it immeditley. I do like that it avoids the “I don’t know if your up to this” cliche that always happens in these types of scenarios, the McBrides have no reason not to trust her, so they just.. do. Hell Harold only sets out one rule: don’t invite anyone over.. and it’s not even because he dosen’t trust Luna to have anyone over or anything like that, he just knows the cats get anxious with a crowd, though their therapist is working with them on that. And of course the two rich men with a single child have a cat therapist. I would too if I were rich. Harold and Clyde throw and unconcious Howard into the car and their off, they’ll be back at 6. And TOTALLY won’t be home hours early for hyjinks. Totally.  Luna arrives to find a massive binder on feline care. Someone went to the Amy Santiago school of binders. It says to feed the cats at 10 sharp.. and it’s 10:02. Luna tries feeding them but the cats instead attack her in a full on psycotic rage and dump food all over her, so dinners on her. 

Anyways, Luna then tries walking the cats which goes as well as you’d expect.. not because she had to put harneses on cats and expect them to do anything at a certain time, but because they pull hard. I can relate to that with my dog.. not my cat. He just goes wherever he wants because he’s old and kind of an asshole.  Anyways, with the cats now messy from running over a guy with a cake, because of course, Luna looks up what to do next which is.. give.. them a bath. 

Who.. who does that. I know their messy, but use a rag or something. No animal likes being bathed but cats, esepcially one who this episodes shows aren’t declawed (And rightfully so but still), do not LIKE being bathed. Granted they wouldn’t like being cleaned off with a rag or something either, but it still feels less cruel to both them and any prospective babysitter to just hold one down and wipe it off then find the other and repeat. Look witht he walking thing I can see why someone would, in their case because their probably too skittish to let their cats wonder around, and in some cases because said cat is young. But this.. this even for a comedy contrivance is stupid. It’s not the worst uninetional cat abuse i’ve seen in media, Elmyra exists and the mother of the lead of get fuzzy tried putting her cat on a vegetarian diet, which Rob, said lead and a staunch vegetarian himself, not only found concerning but gave said cat the money for takeout.. keep in mind in this strip cats can talk and walk upright. Also I miss when Get Fuzzy was both daily and good. So Luna naturally ends up in the bathtub, soaked and depressed and not sure what to do when her friendly neighborhood sign that the drugs haven’t worn off yet comes by and tells her to shape up if she wants to go to the show with Sam. This gives Luna a great idea. LIke a Zack MOrris great idea it involves breaking the rules.. unlike a Zack Morris idea, it dosen’t involve sexual harassment or a zany scheme. She decides to call Sam, since she’s apparently great with cats and given we saw how she was with chickens last time, not a real stretch. She also pops Mick’s bubble which.. hurts him.. somehow. I dunno.  Anyway cut to Sam arriving. She arrived fast because she was picking a new character up from his gamer’s club meeting: Her brother Simon, who’d been mentioned in side materials but makes his first apperance here. I like him, he has a neat design and i’ts nice to give sam a family life of her own, and he’s a nice if glued to his not-nintendo switch kid. Frankly I hope he and LIncoln meet at some point. I mean he has an opening in his friend group starting next season there’s no way Rusty passes 5th grade. And even if he somehow does, it’s not like adding another member is too much of a stretch given, once they got past courting her, the rest of his group warmly welcomed stella in and it’d be an intresting dynamic having his sister’s girlfriend’s brother in the group. Also if your wondering if i’ll ever stop finding ways to bash rusty in these reviews even when he’s entirely absent..

Anyways, Luna slams the door in the kids face, which he takes in stride , and explains the situation, and after fred fliintstonning him is taken off the table, go with “Sneak him past the cats”. It works because cats never look up at the backs of a gay teenage couple sneaking a small child inside. Luna decides to leave Simon in the entertainment room while she and Sam watch the cats and he finds Clyde’s VR gear and asks to try it on, with Luna reluctantly agreeing as long as he’s careful.. which as far as we see.. yeah he entirely is. The Sharpe’s are good people. 

Cue a montage! Sam helps luna scrub the cats, with brushes as they should’ve done minute one, put them through spa type pampering which is also a call back to the first time we saw the McBride’s house in the series, take selfies, and then sing the cats to sleep, in a really sweet and really well sung lullaby, notable for being the first time Sam’s sung on the show and Allyson Stoner, who I haven’t mentioned but should’ve before this shame on me, does a terrific job and has done a terrific job as Sam in general. Luna thianks her for the help, Sam says no sweat they get to see the show together, and Sam ducks out... before realizing she forgot something. Her wallet... no wait she has that.. OH SHIT HER BROTHER. And before she can get him DOUBLE OH SHIT THE MCBRIDES ARE BACK.  Harold is grumbling about the potato salad... apparenlty Aunt Brenda brought some and wasn’t supposed to. I do like how both McBride dads have their own quirks:While Harold IS the more rational one, he can slip up just like anyone can. Luna prepares to leave.. only to realize oh shit her girlfriend’s brothers in the house still. Her not all complex scheme! She fakes having left something behind to get him out, and once sam calls comes up with a plan: Sneak Simon around back. Sam sneaks around with the bush she ducked into, and we get one of my faviorite tropes: A scooby doo doors sequence! Also the dads speak in unison. Dawww. We also get an adorable bit of Sam gesturing for Luna to hand her the boy. I couldn’t find a gif of it sadly, and I would’ve credited it, but I did find 50 tons of creepy Sam X LIncoln fanart. Just.. why. Why exactly. Why do you do this to me tumblr. And to be clear I have ZERO issue with shipping a character whose sexuality isn’t fully confirmed as just gay in canon with a male character, Bi and Pan representation is important. It’s why I get annoyed at the people who throw a hissy fit any time Della Duck is shipped with Launchpad. Here though I do because it feels like this ship is ENTIRELY a troll, especially since LIncoln has 80 other options, not at all including the icky incest ones, and that I cut and dry have every problem with, and is being done soley to annoy people who ship sam and Luna and are finally enjoying some gay/bi representation on children’s television. If this is a troll then kindly 

Thank you John. So anyways Sam does grab the boy and nearly gets him out the door.. only for the mcbrides to run into their bisexual catsitter shoving a small chubby child out their kitchen window only to have a lesbian fall out into their kitchen. Naturally Howard faints again and Harold is displeased... probably because his husband fainted again.. and you know the shenangians in his kitchen. The only time shenanigans are allowed in that kitchen are when Clyde is sleeping at a friends house for the night and only on the table dammit. They got reinforced oak for a reason.  We cut to the boys playing, which is a nice touch: Clyde being a nice kid dosen’t mind sharing, Simon has similar intrests, and the only time we’ve seen him be eh on sharing is letting Lincoln borrow his new console.. and he not only felt BAD for not wanting him to borrow it and having to try and get it back, but he only did so because the Loud house is insanley chaotic and understandbly he wasn’t sure it’d get back to him safetly. His dad’s rasied him well, he’s a good boy once he got past his ‘Stalking his friends older sister” phase and got into his “anything besides that “ phase.  Luna comes clean to the McBrides and.. Harold appricates the honesty. And both are impressed with how well they took them, with Sam and Luna giving each other credit. So instead of getting upset, especially since Luna was both honest and only called in Sam for help and Simon was an unexpected guest and they both did a fantastic job, they offer to split the money instead. Sam, in a really sweet gesture, then gives Luna her half with no hesitation or prompting from her girlfriend, Luna gives her a cheek smooch and they hug. Then Luna acciently wakes the cats, and we end on the girls singing the cats, Simon and the McBrides all to sleep. Also Luna’s hallucination is alsleep.. those drugs wore off hours ago after all.  Final Thoughts:  A really fantastic setup. Once again the show shows it’s slowly gained talent for taking stock plots (in this case a babysitting episode) and making them actually intresting, mostly by having the characters behave reasonably. While it didn’t really expand Sam’s character, it didn’t really need to , the previous ep with her having fleshed her out as a sweet, kind girl with a talent for animals, and Simon is a wonderful addition to the series massive cast of side characters that , unlike some additions , will hopefully show up again. Seriously half the reason I bitch about Rusty is that the show is great at making charcters, and improving them after a few bumpy episodes as seen with Clyde, Lori and Luann, but yet still uses him and dosen’t make him any funnier, while I can name handfuls of characters who either need more apperances (Girl Jordan) Or haven’t shown up again at all (Carol Pingery, Rocky, Maggie). And that’s not even all of them obviously, but my point stands. But given he’s the brother of one of the main characters girlfriend and would fit in with the main character well, I have a feeling we’ll see simon again at some point.  I also really liked seeing the McBrides, mostly because I haven’t seen many of their episodes, and found them to be delightful, helped by having wonderful va’s behind them as standard for the show and great chemsitry and it was a nice bonus to have the shows two main gay couples interact, without it feeling at all forced, and neither did Sam’s inclusion. And while we haven’t gotten a full on kiss with Sam and Luna, which really they should, CN beat them again on that, the cheek kiss and hug was still very sweet, as is the episode really. It’s funny, heartwarming, and really enjoyable. While itd osen’t have as much emotional weight as the last two eps, I like that it didn’t: For once the conflict was low key but understandable and now Sam and Luna are a full couple, they can just do cute couple shit and get into wacky shenanigans like any other couple on this show without any angst attached. It’s really nice. It also shows that no, a couple being together isn’t boring fuck off will they or won’t they, but i’ve ranted enough about stuff unrelated to this episode. I really liked it and hope to come back to these two someday.  For now as I sign off Pride Month is far from over... as next up I have multiple things planned, but one of the biggest is a FIVE PART series on Red Action and Enid from OK KO. Yes FIVE. All 3 of their romantic eps, and Red’s first two for proper context both for the finale, which uses both episodes as part of the plot, and for a proper view of her character arc and to ease readers into the series better. So be there for that, and a donald duck birthday celebration, and until then, later days! 

[reversemoon255]

Fifth Review: Kishiryu Sentai Ryusoulger

Controversial take: I think this is a good series. Not the best, but certainly not bad. And there are some people who read that and question what I'm talking about because they either love the series or think it's terrible. Well, for the first half of this series' run, most of the people I talked to did not like this series, to the point that I stopped talking to people about it. Now, I didn't stop because I thought their opinions were invalid, or because I was mad, but because hearing all that criticism was negatively impacting my opinions. I'd come off episodes feeling good, listen to what other people were saying, and suddenly my opinion would lessen. Ryusoulger does have some issues, but I feel like they were ballooned out of proportion to the point that the shadow they cast prevented people from seeing some very positive things this series had to offer.

The Good: This is a very trope heavy series, with both the goods and bads that come with that. And that does make sense, as this series was supposed to be a ratings grab season to bring in new fans. I know we all enjoy when Sentai breaks its standard tropes, but you have to establish what your tropes are before you can break them. And this checks all the boxes: having Red and the sixth getting the most focus, Red getting power-ups, big robot combinations, (Dino Sentai specific) having an important character die. It doesn't stray very far from the typical formula. But that's ok. Part of the reason we like Sentai is because we like the tropes, and to criticize the series for sticking to its foundation means you have an issue with Sentai as a whole, not Ryusoulger.

The series itself was also structured to help draw in new fans, which seemed to rub some people the wrong way. Episode one was extremely bombastic, with a few decent humorous and dramatic moments, and some over the top fighting. Following that, the first half plus of the show was very episodic, with not a lot of connecting elements. This was probably done to not alienate new viewers and make it feel like they could come in at any episode without missing much. The second half of the show had more connecting plots, like Gaisorg, Pricious, and Heras, to reward people who had stuck with the show and raise the stakes moving into the final acts. While I do prefer more threads and build-up, especially early on, I can appreciate what the writers were trying to do.

And Ryusoulger had a decent cast, if a little underdeveloped because of the aforementioned Red/Six trope. I'm not a big fan of Koh. He's fine when it comes to the goofier episodes, but he was hard to take seriously. Still like him more than Daigo. Melto felt like he might make a better Red, as he was a serious character whose nature easily lead him to being the butt of a joke. His relationship with Oto was actually cute and funny. I normally don't like the "legal loli" trope, but as everyone was far older than they appeared it helped to underplay that issue for me. Asuna had a lot of good moments throughout the season (being the first Pink since TimePink to defeat an enemy general) and had a great actress, but suffers from being the only female Ranger. In my opinion it's always better to write at least two female Rangers since it forces the writers to give them distinct personalities. When you only have one, like in Asuna's case, you normally end up with "girl in a boys show." Yes, she has quirks, like a bottomless stomach and super strength, but quirks a personality does not make. Towa is probably the least developed character, but felt like he had a lot more planned for him (like how he was able to summon Haya Soul's power without a RyuSoul in the final episode). Bamba is a darling, and I love him. The episode where we meet his ex-girlfriend says it all: a tough but kind man who has become better through his interactions with the other Ryusoulgers. I also don't like Canalo that much. His personality feels very responsive to the fact that Toei seems to be trying to subtly push having kids as a good thing to help with Japan's population crisis (which is much more evident in Precure if you pay attention to the fairy designs in recent years), and the fact that said higher-ups seemed to force retconned straight relationships on possibly gay characters over the last three season (which I think is more to do with the population agenda than anything else as Chocolate Macaroons is very much a canon thing). It just feels like he was written that way as a jab from the writers at the Toei big wigs (meaning he's purposefully annoying).

The design work in this series is also excellent. While I would have liked a little more armor on the main costumes, like shoulder pads, the armor given by the RyuSouls was nice, the villain and monster designs were great (as were their personalities, I just don't want to make this longer than need be), and the Megazords had much sleeker designs that allowed for a lot more movement (which seems to be carrying over to Kiramager). I also love the designs of the Kishiryu. Giving them a fossilized look helps set them apart from the dinosaurs that have preceded them, as well as helps with the ever shifting issues of how much feathering any particular species had. They also get huge credit from me as a toy guy for the amount of interplay and non-robot combining present within them. SpinoThunder, Pteramigo, CosmoRaptor, there were a lot of Kishiryu that could combine into other dinosaurs.

Episode to episode, as that's how most of the show was, was hit or miss. I typically loved anything that heavily features Tyramigo (as he was also a great character). Thankfully nothing was as bad as Pitch Cock from Lupin. As for ongoing plots, the Gaisorg plot had a few hiccups, but lead to a good death scene, a cool looking power-up, and some lasting impact on Koh. Pricious, after s/he showed up, easily demonstrated themself as a force to be reckoned with, and the pressure s/he put on the other generals lead to some great moments from the villain cast. The Heras plot had some neat twists to it, but I wish the ending resolved with Heras admitting that she was wrong before her death (since the current generation had overcome the long-standing feud between the two RyuSoul Tribes and had shown willingness to work with the Druidons, both things she criticized them for).

The last thing I'll go into is themes, as Life and Death were two very prevalent themes that were the focus of some of the best episodes. They went full ham on the downsides of the extended life of the RyuSoul Tribe, such as the episode where we meet Bamba's 60-70 year-old ex-girlfriend or the episode where another member of the Tribe wants to commit suicide because she's outlived too many people she's loved. The episodes with Shine and ShadowRaptor were probably my favorite, particularly the parts with Ui and her mom. It felt like a better version of what they tried to do with Kotaro in Kyuranger (which was, coincidentally, my favorite episode of that season).

The Bad: I already brought up a few issues. Focusing on Koh and Canalo isn't bad, but focusing on them too much negatively impacted everyone else's development until the last 10ish episodes of the show. Bamba got a decent amount because he had a backstory, but Towa got almost none and Asuna got little outside "team's girl." Going into power-ups, that is again not inherently a bad thing, but how you use them can be. This was a big issue I had with Lupinranger, as that series focused on two teams, but one of them stopped getting power-ups half-way through the show. Power-ups can be a physical representation of a character's growth, and if only Koh is getting them that means only he is growing. Bamba, Asuna, and Melto all eventually got to use one, but Towa wasn't seen using one until the second-to-last episode.

The Kishiryu are an offshoot of this problem. Koh essentially owns every Kishiryu outside the ones everyone started with. Furthermore, the Kishiryu were designed to be modular, but that was severely underutilized. There were no interesting combinations after they gained access to Five Knights outside of the final episode. Kishiryu-Oh's ability to move his parts around for specific attacks isn't seen outside the first few episodes. There was so much more they could do that they didn't. And I understand that part of that is costume design and budget, but you shouldn't bring forth that idea of modularity if you're not going to use it.

Then there's the aforementioned death scene, which, while I like it, highlights some of the issues with pushing all your plot threads to the end of the show. There were some writing hiccups involving Gaisorg and his relationship with the Druidons. In the death scene itself, it happens the episode immediately after they break the curse of the Gaisorg armor. There is no time to build up Nada's relationships, how grateful he is, how his dynamic might shake up Koh's with Melto or Bamba or Canalo; he's gone before any of that. And it's by a one-off villain. What should have happened, in my opinion, is Nada should have lived through that fight, proven his worth to the team, and then in the following episode died to Pricious. It would still be quick, but it would increased Pricious' threat level, given Nada more time with the team, and might have helped how they tried to nerf Max RyuSoul the episode after it premiered.

Overall, Ryusoulger is a popcorn series; one that is easy to pick up and watch, but isn't something that will blow your mind and you'll be talking about for years to come. It's a good show that is hampered by some sizable issues, but those issues serve as a benefit for the series as a whole and aim to keep it on the air for years to come. If we have to sit through a Ryusoulger every couple of years, I don't have a problem with that. It's not the best, but I still had fun.

[cinnamon-bebe]

The Bridge - Part II

The Bridge - Part I

Summary: Two ex-lovers find their paths crossing once again - continuation from Part I - Sebastian and reader reacquaint themselves in each other’s lives again, much to the reluctance of Y/N. 

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Warning: Angst

(Sorry for the delay! It’s been so incredibly busy lately!)

———————————————————————————————————–

“Roamer of the Cretaceous period, the ‘Tyrant Lizard King’, Tyrannosaurus Rex was one of the most fearsome predators on the planet. Boasting a set of 50-60 banana sized teeth, these carnivores were-”

Sebastian and Y/N stood in awe of the animatronics in front of them. A T-Rex on prehistoric land,  turning its head every so often and roaring unexpectedly, to give the startled kids a fright. Occasionally the sound of an adult shriek could be heard, followed by a simmering wave of snickering among the crowd.

“Woah, careful guys.” Sebastian bends down, protectively guarding the small group of children in front of him. A bunch of teenage boys had managed to push their way to the front, boisterously cackling and climbing on the railings to take pictures with the dinosaur. Defeated, the little kids retreat back to their parents as the boys continue with their shenanigans, with just one child standing defiantly.

“Hmph! Not fair!” She stomps her feet.

Recognising the little tot, Y/N bends down to poke her on the shoulders.

“Did you run away from your mama again missy?”

“Dinosaur lady! Caweey me again. I wanna see!” Izzy jumps up and down, her curly hair bouncing on her shoulders.

“Who’s this?” Sebastian whispers.

“My friend.” Y/N smiles before turning back to the girl. “I don’t think you should be running off like this, your mummy is going to be worried again.”

“My mama has to look after my baba sister, she can’t push the swoller here so she wait at the back for me.” Izzy points to her mother sitting on the visitor benches, cradling and cooing the bundle in her arms.

Clearing his throat, Sebastian decides it’s only polite to introduce himself to Y/N’s friend. He bends down to her level and extends his hand to her. “Hello dino lady’s friend. My name is Sebastian, what is your name?”

Izzy stares at him with suspicion, eyeing the strange man up and down before determining him to be a enough decent character and accepts his handshake with a beaming smile.

“Izzy!”

“Well hello Izzy, would you like to see the dinosaur?” Sebastian opens his arms but before he could say anymore, he finds them already full with the excited little girl who had leapt into them.

“Are you scared?” He whispers to the grinning child who shakes her head.

Y/N watches as the new friends become quickly acquainted, Izzy’s pitchy giggles erupting every time Sebastian says something funny. Both of them gasping as the T-Rex opens its mouth to roar, with Sebastian clutching his heart for added drama.

What a man child. Yet even so Y/N can’t help but laugh along with their silliness. To a bystander, they seem to be an idyllic little family spending a Sunday afternoon out at the museum. Mom, Dad and daughter. A modern day Norman Rockwell painting.

A passerby awes as she makes her way past the trio, to which Sebastian turns his head, smiling with unexpected pride whilst holding an oblivious Izzy who is still marvelling at the dinosaur.

“Psst! Dinosaur lady.” Izzy curls her finger at Y/N, bidding her to come closer so she could reach her ear.

“Hm?”

“Is Sebashon your boyfren?” She whispers, not so quietly.

Y/N looks at Sebastian, who returns the same uncomfortable expression on her face. The realisation of how bizarre this whole situation is quickly unravels before her. What is she doing playing happy families with her ex and some stranger’s kid? Has she stumbled upon some sort of alternate universe?

“No Izzy. Sebastian is…he’s just someone I used know.” Y/N smiles, purposely looking at him as she uttered every syllable. Fearing he has mistaken her goodwill for something beyond what it is, she needed to draw the line and clarify to him and herself, that this…meant nothing.

Sebastian doesn’t say anything, instead he clears his throat and turns his attention back to the child in his arms.

“Come Izzy, I think your mommy want to see you.” He tells the girl before carrying her back to her mother, leaving Y/N to stand alone.

Y/N inhales deeply, what is this feeling inside her chest?

Regret?

No, it can’t be. Regret implies that she didn’t mean what she had said but how could that be true? She doesn’t love Sebastian, not anymore. She had moved out the city, stopped seeing her old friends, all for fear that she might bump into him again. If there is regret, it would only be because she allowed him to run her out of her own life. If anything, that feeling inside her should be anger.

Resentment.

She curses herself for not turning a blind eye on the bridge. Who did she think she was kidding? Did she really think she could be diplomatic with Sebastian, act like they could be friends?

She watches as he talks to Izzy’s mother, who has obviously just realised who he is. Embarrassed that her audacious daughter had managed make a Hollywood movie star her personal nanny, she apologises profusely, trying her best to pry Izzy off of him; her little hands still grasping tightly onto Sebastian’s shirt. The exchange lasts for only a few short moments before Sebastian makes his way back to Y/N.

“Izzy says to tell dinosaur lady that she’ll miss her.” He reports back.

Y/N smiles, giving the little girl a final wave before she is led out the room.

“So, shall we continue?” Sebastian resumes.

“Actually, I think I should go.” Y/N grapples with the strap of her handbag uncomfortably. “There’s still some other stuff I want to do and it’s way into the afternoon now.”

“Well how about we grab a coffee before you go?” Sebastian interjects before she could slip past him.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Hey, it’s just one coffee. After that, you can pretend I don’t exist again.” Sebastian chuckles disingenuously.

Y/N continues fiddling with her bag, looking everywhere but him. The exit seems so close, she could just make a run for it.

“Just a quick one.” She gives in, figuring it’s better to get it over and done with than make a scene in the middle of a museum. The downside of knowing a celebrity is that there’s always someone watching.

“Okay.” Sebastian inhales uneasily, gesturing Y/N to the stairs towards the cafe.

———————————————————————————————————–

The museum cafe was unusually quiet for a Sunday afternoon. A small family occupying the larger table, with a smattering of both young and old couples dotted around the room; their chattering low enough to still hear the gentle pop song playing on the radio.

“A flat white for you and an Americano for me.” Sebastian places the drinks on their table, as Y/N types away on her phone.

“Thanks.” She smiles half-heartedly as she places her mobile back in her bag.

“So how long were you staying with Tara?” Sebastian quickly dives in.

“Just a few days, I hadn’t seen her for so long.”

“You know, she’s always telling me how much she misses you. Why don’t you come back more often?”

Y/N doesn’t respond, taking a large sip of her coffee as she stares out the window. She could feel Sebastian’s eyes on her but she’d rather pay attention to the traffic of visitors outside.

“Are you going to be back anytime soon?” He continues.

“I don’t know.” Y/N finally turns her head back to Sebastian, who still hasn’t touched his drink. “There’s so much going on at work and I’ve got a life now in Chicago. I don’t know when I’ll find the time.”

“Oh.”

A long silence ensues. Sebastian absent-mindedly rubs his thumb against the porcelain ear of his mug, a million thoughts rushing through his head.

“Are you okay?” Y/N mirrors his actions, gently chewing on her lip as she holds down the festering nerves inside her.

“Chicago huh?”

“Yeah.”

“You uh…you always did loved Chicago.” Sebastian smiles. “Do you remember that trip we took there for your birthday? It snowed so heavily when we arrived, we were trapped in our hotel the whole night.”

“Yeah, and we ordered room service and played black jack?”

“You mean I ordered room service and you ate those 7 packs of instant ramen you smuggled into your suitcase?” Sebastian teased.

“Well unlike some people, I like to travel prepared.” Y/N scoffs, masking her gentle titter behind her cup.

“Do you know what my favourite part of that trip was though? That day we went ice-skating and you pushed me and I ended up skidding and knocking over that old couple on the rink.”

“Sebastian that’s awful! You hit them so hard!”

“Well if you hadn’t pushed me!”

“I did not. That was all you. You do one Tonya Harding movie and suddenly you think you’re a pro! I can’t believe that’s your favourite memory.”

“Well if that didn’t happen, I wouldn’t have had you nursing me back to health all night.”

“Yes, piggy backing you back to hotel was so romantic.” Y/N rolls her eyes. “We missed all the reservations we had planned and I was stuck massaging your ankle.”

A solemn smile graces Sebastian’s face. “You always knew how to look after me. Even when I didn’t deserve it.”

The comment causes Y/N to look away. Her eyes retreating back to the cafe window, as she leans back into her chair, reinstating the distance between them.

“I’ve really missed you.” Sebastian continues. “Y/N?” He reaches for her hand but she pulls away defensively.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Frustration escaping through the cracks of her voice.

“I just want to talk.”

“No. No we are done talking. I should have never said yes to this. You think you can just buy me coffee, remind me of all the good times and then…and then all our problems will magically disappear?” Becoming mindful of the people around them, Y/N attempts to reign in her volume. “Do you know how hard this last year has been for me?”

“You think it’s been easy for me?” Sebastian fights back. “You don’t think, that I don’t think about you every day, every second since you left?”

“Oh poor Sebastian.” Y/N mocks.

“I tried looking for you. I tried calling. I tried doing everything to find you, to tell you how sorry I am. You wanted me to never see Kaitlyn again? Done. I’ve cut off all contact with her, I’ve deleted her number. Not once has she crossed my mind since you left because the only person that matters is you.”

“You still don’t get it do you?” A single tear trickles down Y/N’s face. “All I wanted was to feel needed, to feel wanted by you.” She pauses, her heart breaking all over again. “I don’t know when the pin finally dropped but suddenly, you just didn’t see me anymore. I was just a person you came home to. Your "I love you’s” became an obligation. It took me a while but I know now that, Kaitlyn was just a way out for us. She a way out for you.“

"Y/N, don’t. That’s not true.” Sebastian could no longer bare looking at her. The same cowardice that held him hostage that night, turning the corner to haunt him once more.

“I know you loved me but we got complacent. That was always your biggest fear.” Slowly draping her bag onto her shoulder, Y/N finally rises to her feet. Looking down at Sebastian, who still refuses to meet her eyes, even for the last time. “I need you to move on. Go enjoy your life, do the things you want and…find someone that makes you happy.”

“And what will you do?” He finally finds the courage to whisper those words. His head remaining low, his body too defeated to find the strength to stop her from leaving. It’s what she wanted, he has no right to inconvenient her any longer.  

Reaching out to rest her hand on Sebastian’s shoulder, Y/N recoils before he notices. She stares out at the window again, watching the people come and go obliviously, silently, contentedly.

“I’ll…live my life and I’ll be happy, whatever that may mean.”

Composing herself, Y/N wipes away the traces of tears on her face, ready to brave the outside world again. A world without him.

Is this what closure feels like? She questions.

“Bye Sebastian.” She mouths, her voice so low that she isn’t sure whether he picked it up. But it doesn’t matter.

Bye.

That word doesn’t even register in Sebastian’s head anymore as she disappears past him. His mind occupied by the statements still ringing in his ears. Too busy trying to run through every memory they shared over the past three years.

Is it all true?

Y/N was right about one thing. Sebastian’s greatest fear was that they’d become too comfortable in their relationship. To the point that everything the other person did, no longer bore the same novelty. To the point that their every action became a nuisance and eventually, they’d grow to resent each other.

He admits that their relationship was far from perfect and perhaps it did hit a point of stagnation. The more successful he became, the less time he spent at home and when he was there, his mind was somewhere else thinking about another project on the horizon. All those times, he’d walk past Y/N with his nose in a script. All those times, he’d usher her away because he was taking an 'important’ phone call. It all seems so trivial now.

He relegated her to a place where she felt she didn’t matter to him anymore, when that could be farther from the truth. Fame and fortune took its toll. The pressures of being a working actor and the fear of failure was something he couldn’t communicate to Y/N about. Maybe Kaitlyn was just an excuse for him to escape all that.

He loved Y/N  more than anything in this world.

And he still loves her.

________________________________________________________________

Staring out into the city lights, Y/N rests her arms over the bridge. Suddenly New York sounds so quiet. Peaceful. If that were even possible.

She is one of a few on the bridge. The others, a street merchant behind her, selling handmade jewellery since the day started, and a handful of commuters walking sluggishly to the station ready to go home. A parallel to the bustling scene this morning.

The sky pitch black, not a star in sight but the moon, otherworldly; illuminating and watching over the city and its people.

Y/N closes her eyes, comforted by the quiet breeze blowing kindly against her skin. Clutching her chest, she begs for the incessant aching to cease. If New York can find peace, why can’t she?

Her flight leaves early tomorrow morning, yet she finds every excuse to stay just a little longer.“A few more minutes, let me take in the city for just a few more minutes.” She tells herself. After today, she plans to steer clear of this city for as long as needed; until she can disassociate New York from him.

Y/N turns around to the soft touch on her arm.

“Hello miss, I’m sorry to interrupt. I’m selling a collection of some very beautiful and one of a kind jewellery that I personally hand crafted myself. Would you care to have a look?” The middle aged woman smiles earnestly, her eyes tired and her blonde hair slightly dishevelled from the day.

“I’m fine thank you.”

“Please, you might find something you really like! They would make the perfect gift for a loved one, I have pieces for men and for women. I have rings, necklaces, earrings…” The merchant begins to take out several bracelets from her pocket to demonstrate against Y/N’s wrist, which she reluctantly abides to. “In fact, if you come to my stall you’ll see I’ve recently created this gorgeous line of ruby jewellery, just right for a beautiful woman like you. That gentlemen over there just picked up one of my favourite pieces.”

Y/N looks up in the direction to which the woman points.

“Sir! Wouldn’t you recommend my work to this beautiful young woman here? It’s well worth your money isn’t it?” She shouts to the man standing behind them.

“Yeah…they’re very lovely.” He clears his throat, his eyes focusing solely on Y/N. “Could you excuse us for a moment?”

Y/N attempts to hurry past the confused the woman before Sebastian grabs hold of her hand. The woman watches with her mouth slightly agape, unsure whether she should intervene.

“No no, it’s okay. We know each other.” Sebastian reassures the street merchant, who nods slowly and returns to her stall. She watches the couple closely, alert in case she needs to call for help.

“Let go.” Y/N tries to pry his hands off her wrist.

“Not until you hear me out.”

“Let go now or I’ll scream.”

“No. You’ve said your piece, don’t you think I deserve the same opportunity?” Sebastian pulls her closer, forcing her to look at him.

Y/N’s struggles against him weakens, she glances at the woman watching them and quickly looks away embarrassed that this was all being played out in public. “What more could you possibly say?”

“You have every right to hate me.”

“Ha!” Y/N laughs sardonically. She decides to stop her efforts to rid Sebastian’s grip on her. She’ll allow him to finish and if needed, kick her way off this bridge if she has to.

“I was never caring enough, considerate enough.” He continues. “I thought my success would make up for everything else I was lacking and by doing that, I didn’t realise how far I pushed you away.”

Y/N turns her head from him, choosing to look over the bridge and into the city instead.

“There was never a second in those three years that I didn’t love you. Even now, I don’t think I can properly compute just how much I still do. You’re the only woman I do see and you’re the only woman who sees me…You mean more to me than you will ever know and the only thing that scares me now, is that you’ll leave here thinking otherwise.” Sebastian releases his hold on her, allowing Y/N to stand willingly by herself.

With her head still turned, Sebastian can see the tears quietly falling against her cheek.

“Y/N?” Sebastian pulls her into his chest, holding her head gently his hand.

“I can’t do this again.” Y/N cries.

“And you won’t. I won’t let this happen to us again. If it means my career taking a backseat, if it means I start taking on the little projects so I can be with you. So be it.”

“No. I don’t want that.” Y/N pulls away, finally looking at him. Sebastian’s gently cups her blushed cheeks, his thumb wiping away her tears which were still escaping her eyes. “I don’t want you to sacrifice doing the things you love.”

“Then what? You tell me and I’ll do it.” Sebastian whispers.

“I don’t know…talk to me? Share things with me? I don’t want us to be strangers.”

“We won’t. I promise. I have so much I’ve wanted to tell you but have just been too scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“That…you’ll see just how weak I really am.”

“Sebastian.” Y/N blinks back her tears so that she could finally see him more clearly. “You’re not weak. Just stupid.”

Sebastian smiles.

“I know how much you worry about your career and finding your place in the industry but no matter what happens, even if you lose all your money and your fame. It will never change my opinion of you. I fell in love with you, not the fancy actor.”

“I know.” Sebastian gazes down at Y/N. In this moment he cannot figure out why he ever doubted that. He lowers his head, tenderly placing a soft and longing kiss on Y/N’s lips. Her kiss, her scent even more perfect than he had remembered. Pulling away, he rests his forehead against hers. “So, are you still going back to Chicago?”

“I don’t know.” Y/N sighs.

Entwining his fingers into hers, Sebastian slowly leads her away from the side of the bridge.“You can make that decision tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Y/N rests her head against his arm. Finally feeling the peace that she had sought long and hard for, she no longer needs the breeze to bring her comfort. She has found her peace, which always remained with Sebastian. She allows herself to be guided by him, holding her tightly next to him.

They both wave to the street merchant, as they leave. Her genuine smile sending them her deepest blessings as they disappear from sight.

“So what did you buy from that lady?” Y/N enquires curiously.

“It’s a gift.” Sebastian smiles to himself. His finger inside his pocket, circling the Ruby band.

[luki-fanfic]

A Kingdom For a Book: Part 2

I’m having way too much fun with this idea...

With one failed attempt under their belt, they end up having lunch in Chinatown before heading back to the hotel to regroup and debrief.  Tsuna and Gokudera end up sitting on one bed, Gokudera nose deep in a laptop, while Yamamoto leans back on another, and Ryohei slumps the wrong way round in a chair.

“I see why the Ninth didn’t want us to come here,” Yamamoto says.  “Do you think the owner knew who we were?”

Tsuna shook his head.  “No, I think he would have treated us that way even if we weren’t Vongola.  There was something about that shop...it just felt wrong.”

Ryohei frowns. “That’s strange to the extreme.  This could be challenging.”

Gokudera is nodding, digging up the research he’d been tinkering with even before they arrived.

“Okay, so that building?  It’s been there since the 1700’s,” he explains. “That’s when Soho was built up for the aristocracy, and the book shop’s been around since then.  Which is pretty damn impressive considering the wealthy all more of less fled mid 1800’s when there was a cholera outbreak and the neighbourhood took a serious dive.  I don’t think there’s a lot of business in London that have been in the same building that long, and if they did, they’re a lot more successful.  At this point, A.Z.Fell & Co should be a historic monument or tourist attraction just due to it’s existence, but it’s only reputation-”

At this he tosses his hands up in the air in disbelief.

“-Is a handful of websites for rare book dealers bemoaning it’s existence!  There’s a 3000 word essay on here that’s just analysing the opening times! I’ve never seen a white noise spot as bad as this outside of the mafia!  It shouldn’t even be possible without mist flames!”

“Are we sure they’re not?” Yamamoto asks, head tilting.  

Tsuna shakes his head.  

“No,” he insists.  “I don’t know what it was about that building, but flames weren’t involved.  Besides, it’s too obvious in its refusal to sell.”

Everyone gives a slow nod at that, and Tsuna bites his lip.

“What we need it witness accounts,” he says.  “We need to know what doesn’t work.”

This quickly results in Gokudera frantically tapping on his laptop again and setting up a video call with Dino in Italy.  When he learns where they are, his face flinches – as if he’s just watched a man belly flop from a high dive.

“Reborn sent you where?” he asks.  “The Ninth can’t possibly have approved that.”

“He wasn’t happy about it,” Tsuna admits.  “But...it’s Reborn.  You don’t really tell him no.”

Dino grimaces.  “I feel for you little bro.  I wish I could help, but I’ve never tried my luck against the devil of Soho.

“The devil of Soho?” the four repeat, and Dino chuckles.

“Oh, it’s kind of an in-joke among people who’ve tried,” he explains.  “The shop is on a crossroad, and someone one suggested you’d probably have to sell your soul in exchange for a book from A.Z. Fell, and it kind of caught on.  Plus, according to Christianity, devils or demons are supposed to be fallen angels, and they guy is called ‘Fell,’ so...”

Tsuna guesses it’s probably funnier for the Italians, because Gokudera’s openly cackling.  Although that said, Ryohei is also grinning, so maybe he’s a fan of the crossroads story.  The boxer does often enjoy American music…

“You might as well give selling your soul a shot though,” Dino continues.  “Because I don’t have the slightest clue what else would work.”

Yamamoto frowns, leaning back in a stretch that almost looks painful.

“If we can’t buy a book, can we just buy out the shop?” he asks Dino, and Gokudera brightens.

“The Baseball Idiot has a point.  I mean, this is Soho, and that shop can’t be making enough to stay in business.  Can’t we just buy the building, or bribe the owner?”

“You really think nobody ever thought of that?” Dino asks, eyebrows raising.  “The Fell family are loaded; they own that building, and they’ve never accepted a single offer.”

“Then we’ll make it a really good one.  Reborn said our credit limit was unlimited for this-”

“Ten years ago Mr. Fell was offered five times what the building was worth and he didn’t even think it over” Dino interrupts.  “And if you think you can scare him out, think again.  People have tried everything from hiking his electric bills to bribing the council to shut him down for health reasons.  I hear the building was even set on fire once.  Nothing sticks, and it always comes back round to whoever tried their luck. An awful lot of enforcers change careers after a run in with A.Z. Fell.”

Dino sounds a little bitter by the end, and Tsuna frowns.

“That sounds a little personal,” he says.  “Did Reborn try and make you go?”

His self proclaimed older brother suddenly finds it very hard to meet his eyes.

“No, but let’s just say I have it on good authority that one of the reasons my family ended up in such dire financial straights is because my grandfather tried to ah...convince Mr. Fell to move into a building owned by my family so he could have regular access to his collection,” Dino says.  “A week later, there’s a freak accident with our accountant’s computer systems that sees 60% of our assets frozen while a record of all our recent financial dealings was sent first class to the local police department.  By the time we cleared it up the money was gone.”

Gokudera does a full body flinch.

“How-”

“I don’t know. And I don’t want to know” Dino tells him.  “Some of those financials weren’t even supposed to have a paper trail.  When my negotiation trial came up, I told Reborn I wasn’t setting foot in that shop.  That I’d try and negotiate peace in Korea before I went to Soho.”

Yamamoto whistles, and Tsuna’s optimism sinks even more.

“Where’d you end up?” Tsuna asks.

“Guinea-Bissau,” Dino says.  “Came out of it with only two bullets wounds too.”

“...Thats...good?” Tsuna offers, frantically trying to remember exactly where on a map that was, and Dino shrugs.

“Better than Xanxus any way” he offers.  “He was lucky to get out intact.”

Yamamoto immediately lights up.  “Oh yeah.  The Ninth said he’d tried.”

“Lets call the Varia, to the extreme!” Ryohei agrees.

“Not sure how useful he’ll be,” Dino warns as they say goodbye.  “His tactics weren’t really compatible with you.”

That’s hardly news to Tsuna, but a list of what definitely wont work is better than no list at all at this point.  Yamamoto is already punching in Squalo’s number.

---

Two minutes later, Tsuna is wondering how far he can be from a video screen without appearing offensive, because Xanxus is glaring like he wants to reach through the computer and strangle Tsuna for the crime of bothering him.  

Which, to be fair is Xanxus’s general mode of being, but Tsuna hasn’t survived this long by getting complacent.  Given his life, it’s not impossible Xanxus has figured out how to do it.  

At least the Varia commander is taking his question seriously – the glare had almost vanished when Yamamoto had explained just where they were.

“Whatever you do, don’t steal one” Xanxus warns when Yamamoto finishes up, and Tsuna finds himself leaning forward.

“You stole one?” he says.  “I thought the requirement was legal purchase.”

“I was getting desperate!” Xanxus snarls, almost defensively.  “Fell-Trash is impossible to reason with.  Not that it did me any good.  Cost me three months, my body weight in pride and a Lightning Guardian.”

At that Tsuna pauses, and glances to the corner of the screen where he can see Xanxus’s guardians, Levi included, not-so-subtly listening in. Xanxus rolls his eyes.

“Parasol-Trash is number 2” he tells him.  “Huge improvement over Belias, I assure you.  Idiot walked out with some old folio under his jacket, figuring we could negotiate after it was in our hands.  To this day, I have no clue what happened to him, but that folio was on display in the window next morning and Fell’s creepy ass boyfriend was wearing Belias’s shades when we walked in.”

“Boyfriend?” Yamamoto asks, and Xanxus chuckles.

“Oh trust me Trash, you’ll know him when you see him.”

In the background Lussuria is fanning himself with a hand, while Squalo is glowering and inching closer to the screen.  Tsuna ignores both of them.

“You didn’t try to find out what happened?” he questions, and Xanxus glares.

“Of course I fucking did!” he snaps.  “Even had the lightning member’s we brought along tried to put on the squeeze, but both of them are mental steel traps.  If anything, threats just amuse them.  Two of Belias’s closest tried physical violence – the boyfriend has this classic car, beautiful piece of machinery; I’ll give him that – smashed out every window and made it clear we were coming back to finish the job.  Car like that can’t be easy or cheap to fix.”

“It didn’t work?” Gokudera asks, and Xanxus shakes his head.

The trash left the hotel to get drinks, next thing I know the shark trash is getting a call from the hospital about them.”

The Varia boss jerks his head back, and Squalo freezes for a second, before slinking up to his boss, not even pretending to be subtle in his approach anymore.

“Were they still alive?” Tsuna asks, not sure if he wants to know. ��Xanxus merely glares at Squalo, who reacts as though it pains him to answer.

“Voi, they lived,” he says.  “Looked like they’d been run over by that stupid car a couple hundred times, but they lived.  Not that it mattered to us, both of them up and joined a monastery in New Zealand the second they were released!”

Yamamoto frowns. “New Zealand?  When you abandon your old life to join a monastery, don’t you usually got to somewhere like Tibet or something?”

“Voi, according to them, they picked New Zealand because there aren’t any snakes there,” Squalo snarled.  “Don’t ask me why, never had a problem with them before.”

“Yeah, and that car come morning?” Xanxus adds.  “Perfect. Condition.  After that, I cut my losses while I still had something to lose.”

“It was their own fault for making compensation jokes about the darling’s car!” Lussuria defends from the back, and Xanxus throws a wine glass in his direction.

The Varia side of the call inevitably descends into a brawl, and little advice is coming.  All Tsuna’s managed to gather is, stay legal, screaming is pointless, and don’t threaten his associates or their possessions.

Tsuna silently vows that Gokudera must never enter that building unaccompanied.

Also, before the screen cut off completely, Lussuria popped onto the screen with one final titbit.

“Oh, one more thing.  Don’t flirt with the boyfriend,” he says with Bel half in a headlock and the screen on it’s side.  “Crowley-darling seems to think it’s funny, but it ticks Mr. Fell off no end.  Not sure how he did it, but I got food poisoning whenever I ate out the rest of the time we were there.  Ciao!”

The screen immediately goes black, and as a group, Tsuna, Gokudera and Ryohei all glance in Yamamoto’s direction.  The teen immediately starts pouting.

“Why are you all looking at me?” he whines.  

“Because out of everyone in this room who would think it would be funny, you’re the only one who’d actually try his luck, Baseball Idiot,” Gokudera snaps, and Yamamoto’s lip quirks, point taken.  After so much time hanging around Squalo and Reborn, Yamamoto’s baseline for appropriate behaviour and etiquette will never recover – not that there was ever much to save, if Tsuna’s being entirely honest.  

In the end, after looking at a spreadsheet of the opening hours Gokudera has on hand, they decide to hold off this evening, and try again in the 40 minute window that there should be just before lunch.

Who knows, maybe Mr. Fell will be more agreeable after he’s eaten?

---

One more part, and think it’ll be ready to migrate to AO3...

[i-see-thevision]

Familiar Faces

• Prologue •

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3

Genre: Mafia!AU

Pairing: Wonwoo x reader (ft. the rest of Seventeen)

Word Count: 2.1k

Summary: When you make a wrong turn on your way to visit family, you end up meeting some familiar faces and unintentionally get sucked down memory lane. Now, you’re reliving the past along with your former best friend. The only thing is... he’s much more dangerous now than he was before.

• • •

“Recalculating.” The automated voice said for the fifteenth time on this stupid trip.

Your GPS was working like shit in this dead zone. 

“You know what? Shut the fuck up.” You spat, turning the GPS off with a huff. You turned to look back out towards the road, noticing all the slightly familiar surroundings. 

“I’ll just figure out how to get their myself.” You declared, beginning to navigate your way to your parent’s house in your head. You debated just going back home. You didn't even want to visit your parents, they never gave a shit about you. Yet here you were, still reaching out. 

You were doing fine while on the highway. That was until you forgot which exit you were supposed to be taking. You hummed as you tried to remember. You passed exit 16, then 17, then 18. 

“Ugh I don't know.” You scolded yourself, saying ‘screw it’ in your head before taking exit 19.

When you got off the exit, you merged into the right lane. You took a look around and recognized absolutely nothing. You sighed, knowing you were definitely lost. You decided that it would probably be a good idea to ask for directions at this point. So you looked for a place to stop. Which wasn't difficult because this was a pretty big city. Convenient.

You pulled into a hotel, because they meet people from everywhere, someone there must know their way around. You locked your car door and walked through the parking lot to get to the entrance of the hotel.

But your attention was caught by the distant sound of a gun shot. Distant, but not too distant. You guesstimated the shooter to be approximately 60 feet away. Memories from the past flooded your head. The alarming sound put you into an entirely different mindset, one that was ready for whatever was coming. 

You see, your brother Changkyun used to be in this gang, before he was killed because of said gang. You were not a member of it, however you did work with them on occasion. You were an extremely skilled hacker. Technology was your language and his gang needed help sometimes. And unfortunately, you could never say no to your brother. You never fought though, you barely even knew how to hold a gun. However, working closely with a gang meant you witnessed a whole lot of death.

And that included the death of your best friend, Wonwoo. Whom you were actually in love with at the time. He didn't know the people you were involved with. He didn't deserve what happened to him. And you struggle with not blaming yourself for his death. 

A rival gang, Seventeen, wanted you dead. Because as a hacker, you had every means of blackmail on them as possible. But the leader of the rival gang, S.Coups (who you knew extremely well because you had been kidnapped by him before) knew he couldn't kill you because Changkyun would kill him. So he did the next best thing.

He kidnapped your best friend.

You’re not even sure how he figured out the people you were close to. You were very discreet about your social life for that very reason. But none the less, they kidnapped Wonwoo and killed him. And that broke you.

That is actually what prompted you to finally leave that life behind and start a new one. You were now a Software Development Engineer, making a little over six figures a year. You had a great apartment overlooking the Seoul. You had some friends but no one super close, you couldn't bring yourself to try and replace Wonwoo. 

A second gunshot brought you out of your thoughts.

You knew it was probably a bad idea, but you walked towards the direction of the gunshots. Your previous life bringing back memories just kinda drew you towards the sound. 

You kept walking until you reached a sort of ally way. Yeah there was no way you were going down there. Not a chance. You decided to just drop it and go back to the hotel, so you turned around to head back.

That was your first mistake.

Before you could take another step, what seemed like a pillowcase was pulled over your head. And before you could scream, a cloth was pressed against your nose and mouth. You knew exactly what this was, chloroform. And the next thing you knew, you were unconscious. 

You don’t know how long you were unconscious for, but you knew how bad this situation was. A million possible reasons went through your head, but only one stuck. S.Coups had finally found you and now that your brother was gone, he would kill you. You tried to pull your arms from your restraints, but no use. You were tightly tied to a chair. You sighed in exasperation and prepared for the worse.

You didn’t know exactly what would happen, but you certainly didn’t think what did happen would.

You heard a door open, and foot steps walk towards you. Then suddenly the bag that was over your head was pulled off abruptly, you hair flying in all directions. You blew the hair out of your face and shook your head a bit. You then looked up at the person who had taken off the bag.

He was quite cute, and looked a little younger than you. You felt a pang in your chest at the thought of someone so young being caught up in this life. But your first priority was getting out of here, and you knew exactly where you were. You had been tied to this exact chair in this exact room too many times before. You also knew that the only way to get out of this was by talking to S.Coups himself.

“I see S.Coups has been recruiting.” You said calmly. You were getting out of this alive, and the only way to do that was to not be intimidated.

Clearly he didn’t expect you to know his gang, most definitely not his leader. He didn’t say anything. He just looked at you with a surprised expression. He looked so innocent, but unfortunately you knew the horrors he has seen. You knew his innocence had been ripped from him.

“Look, I’ve been down this road too many times before. I’ve been tied to this chair too many times before. Just let me talk to S.Coups, please.” You said, clearly tired of this situation.

“They didn’t tell me you knew us?” He said, his voice deeper than you thought it would be. He seemed like a good kid, so you decided to indulge in this conversation.

“It’s been a little while but I used to be very familiar with the members of this gang. Especially your leader.” You say, sighing from the pain you were beginning to feel in your wrists due to your restraints. The boy noticed.

“Were you like... affiliated with us?” He asks cautiously, not wanting to overstep boundaries.

“Oh no, I used to sort of work with Monsta X. I’m sure you’re aware of who they are. But I have not been affiliated with anyone for over a year now. So I really don’t know what S.Coups is up to.” You admitted honestly. The boy looked at you like he wanted to help you. But you both knew he couldn’t.

“Out of curiosity, how old are you?” You then added. He looked a bit hesitant to answer. But it seems like he might have a bit of trust towards you now.

“I’m 20.” He says, and you almost flip out.

“Hold up what? S.Coups is recruiting kids now? Look kid I know you don’t know me but you gotta get out of this life. And believe me, I’m telling you this from experience.” You jumble out, completely baffled and quite frankly concerned for this kid.

“Hey I’m not even the youngest! Dino’s the youngest!” He defends, you understand. No one in this line of work likes being called a kid. But then the thought of someone being younger than him in this gang concerned you even more.

“Excuse me there’s someone younger than 20 in this gang are you kidding me? Where’s S.Coups I need to have a chat with him right now.” You say fidgeting to get out of your restraints. The legs of the chair scuffing along the floor at your movements.

And as if on cue, S.Coups opens the door and walks in. A few others behind him. All of which you recognize. Jeonghan, his right hand. Hoshi, the one that makes the drugs. And Woozi, the torture expert. You and Woozi have met under the most unfortunate and unforgettable of circumstances.

“Ah, there she is.” S.Coups smiles while clasping his hands together. You roll your eyes at his playful antics. You would probably be friends with S.Coups if he didn't kill your best friend. Murder kinda puts a damper on a relationship.

“Okay so you have a lot of explaining to do. But first off, why the hell have you recruited a 20 year old and apparently someone younger than that? Are you insane? They’re kids!” You burst, already wanting these ropes untied so you can hit him.

“They aren't kids anymore y/n. And they don't have anywhere to go. I’ve given them a family, you of all people should know that.” He explains, remaining calm and collected. 

“Oh I of all people should now that, huh? Where’s my family, S.Coups? Where’s the only person I had that wasn't corrupted by a gang? Why don’t you tell me where he is? Or right, you killed him! My Wonwoo, you fucking killed him!” You spat, tears beginning to well in your eyes. But you held them back, there was no way you were going to cry in front of him. The other four in the room perked up for some reason, all looking at each other and exchanging similar looks. S.coups even seemed alarmed for a minute, before giving the four a look. 

“Look, y/n. I didn’t bring you here to kill you. I brought you here because as much as I don’t want to say this... I need your help.” S.Coups then says, catching you off guard. 

“You need my help? Need my help with what?” You ask, incredulously. Never in your life did you think S.Coups would ever come to you for help. 

“There’s been a breech in our system. All our hideout locations are out there for everyone to see and we don’t know who did it. All we know is that it’s someone from another gang threatening us.” He explains, his seriousness coming back. 

“And you want me to secure the breech?” You finish, already knowing what he wants you to do. He nods.

“You’re the best hacker I know, none of my guys have been able to do it.” He then says, earning an annoyed look from the 20 year old kid who’s name you still don’t know. 

“I’m guessing you’re one of the hackers here.” You say, nodding towards the kid. He nods and looks down. 

“Hey, this profession takes years master, you have time.” You assure, not wanting the kid to beat himself up. He perked up at that. And you turned your attention back to S.Coups. 

“Alright, I’ll help you. But what do I get out of this?” You accept, but not without getting something in return. He looked pleased with himself, a smug look on his face. It made you feel uneasy.

“You get to join Seventeen.” He states, you’re eyes almost popped out of your head. 

“What are you talking about? Why would I do that? Why would you want that?” You fired question after question, not understanding what was going on through his head. He looked at you with a different expression, a softer expression.

“Y/n, I’m sorry for trying to kill you. I’m sorry for what happened to your brother. And I’m sorry for Wonwoo. I let hatred for your brother alter my opinion of you, and that’s not right. It wasn't your fault he was in Monsta X. And I’m sorry for that. But you have skills. And more importantly, you have morals. You would be a fine asset for this gang. And we would protect you like family.” He suddenly said, all at once. That was a lot to take in. But for some reason you found his offer quite appealing. You had to admit you missed the action, missed the feeling of doing something important and useful. Missed a family...

You guess that’s what prompted you to agree to this. And S.Coups then ordered the young kid to untie your wrists. And as soon as the were off, you stood up and hesitated before walking closer to S.Coups. 

“I forgive you. And I’m sorry for trying to blackmail you guys.” You said holding out your hand for him to shake. He did and chuckled, a genuine smile gracing his lips. All the animosity left you two in that moment. 

“Welcome to Seventeen, y/n.”

• • •

A/N: OKAY SO PROLOGUE. Thank you for reading my lovelies <3

[makeste]

KHR 061: Feelings All Up in My Daily Life Arc

If for some reason you ever ask me what my favorite Daily Life chapter is, and I tell you I don’t have one, you should know that I am straight up lying, because I do and it’s this:

This was requested by @gokudirt! This is also the last of the chapter requests, but seeing as it takes place right before the start of the Kokuyou arc, I’m thinking I might just continue the reviews chronologically from here. At least until I finally tire of doing this (which could be a good long while from now).

Anyway, let’s discuss Target 61, which started me on a path of being obsessed with Gokudera Hayato for the rest of my life.

Before we get to the actual chapter, I want to take a moment to appreciate that title page up there, because I think it’s the first time Amano successfully achieved what she was so obviously trying to do from the very start, which is to make Gokudera’s hair sexy. It’s not at peak sexiness yet, but it’s come so, so far from his intro nearly 60 chapters ago. I attribute this to him finally turning fourteen. We all know thirteen is a very awkward age.

Unfortunately the change is not quiiite permanent just yet, as we can observe on the very next page.

The thing is, I feel like she’s getting better at drawing him from side angles, but from directly front-on it’s a whole different story. His hair is still doing the thing where the back parts stick out awkwardly at extreme pointy angles, and also his bangs hang down way too straight and rigidly, like they’re one big sticking-together blob, instead of being all soft and ~wispy-looking~ the way they get to be later on.

I, a fully grown adult woman who apparently has nothing better to do than to analyze Gokudera’s hair and rant about it for multiple paragraphs, can actually tell you the exact moment when that transformation finally becomes permanent and perfect, and it’s right at the very start of the Future arc, immediately after TYL!Gokudera poofs back into normal Gokudera. It’s like Amano drew TYL!Gokudera’s hairstyle, and then suddenly everything just clicked about what the teenage version’s hair was always meant to be. It’s a beautiful thing. Haha, this chapter recap is going to be waaaay too long and very singularly focused, isn’t it.

Suddenly some thugs appear, because I guess they just wanted to get their asses kicked by the future Vongola Tenth’s right hand man!

Firstly, “as if there weren’t already this heat” is SUCH a July 2018 mood, so thank you, Gokudera.

Second, he’s really fucking violent here and I kind of adore it. He’s so often a glutton for punishment that it’s sort of nice on those rare occasions where he gets to kick ass himself. Especially here where it gets really physical with elbows and knees and the whole business! Usually this kind of brutality is Hibari’s domain.

Anyway, it turns out they were sent by Dino!

STILL SO HANDSOME. How come there were never any problems with his hair??

At any rate, Dino has some “good news” for Gokudera. (FYI those aren’t just any quotation marks--those are full blown sarcastic air quotes.) Now that he’s fourteen (ALL GROWN UP), the Ninth has apparently decided to promote him and put him in charge of a bunch of casinos. That makes so much sense! And he asked Dino to tell Gokudera because Dino is basically an honorary Vongola. That part actually does make sense. Does anyone really think of the Cavallone as a separate family? Pretty sure no one is raising their hand.

What great news! Oh but there’s just one small thing; the job is in Italy! Which, aside from probably not being Gokudera’s favorite place in the world for a multitude of other reasons, is also notably NOT where Tsuna is.

This is followed by one of my favorite Gokudera moments in the entire series.

Okay let’s press pause and engage rant mode.

So as we all know (I assume? Unless you’ve never actually read this chapter, in which case go do it! because it’s great and I love it!!), this whole thing is actually some kind of fucked-up loyalty test that the Ninth came up with, because for some reason he was suspicious of Gokudera and whether or not he’d actually stay devoted to Tsuna. So they figured they’d offer him a token power position, and see if he’d take them up on it, even if it meant abandoning his boss!

Here’s why that’s the most ludicrous fucking thing anyone has ever tried to do in this entire series.

SERIOUSLY? YOU NEEDED TO TEST GOKUDERA GODDAMN HAYATO’S GODDAMN LOYALTY TO THE GODDAMN TENTH? HAVE YOU EVER MET GOKUDERA?? PLEASE SPEND TWO FUCKING MINUTES WITH HIM AND THEN COME BACK AND APOLOGIZE TO ME ON YOUR KNEES FOR WASTING ALL OUR FUCKING TIME.

But okay, for some reason the Ninth has inexplicably become an outrageously bad judge of character. So fine, let’s test Gokudera’s loyalty. Except that

HE PASSES THE TEST ALMOST BEFORE THEY CAN EVEN GIVE HIM THE TEST TO BEGIN WITH.

Seriously. “Gokudera here’s a promotion for you but you’ll have to leave Tsuna and go to Ital—” “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THE ONE I FOLLOW IS THE TENTH NOT THE NINTH, IF IT’S GOING TO BE LIKE THIS THEN I’M NOT GONNA DO IT.” Dino, your response should be, “Well, shit, okay then,” and then you walk off and tell the Ninth what an asshole he was to even fucking try this.

But instead!!!

So Gokudera already passed the test, which is all about being loyal to Tsuna, but Dino tries to guilt him by insisting that staying is selfish, and leaving is actually the best way to serve Tsuna? What kind of damned-if-you-do bullshit is this? We’re trying to see how loyal you are, so we’ll tell you how to be loyal, but if you listen to us you will actually fail the test. What the fuck kind of fucking logic…

Anyway, lacking any other type of mentor figure (because Shamal is a fucking deadbeat), Gokudera goes to talk to Reborn about it.

WTF WHO’S THIS RANDO—

REBORN-SAN YOU APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE

Things I will never get tired of: this fucking gag.

So Gokudera explains his problems, but he frames them in such a way so as to make it seem like he’s worried that Tsuna won’t be able to get along without him, when of course it’s really the exact fucking opposite. Reborn is exactly as helpful as you would expect Reborn to be.

Having just savagely murdering Gokudera’s hopes and dreams, Reborn proceeds to set a challenge for him.

Hahaha. Okay, so. On the surface, this seems really fucking harsh, and kind of like Reborn is trolling the ever-loving shit out of Gokudera in this chapter just for giggles. However, I don’t think that’s what’s actually going on. But I’ll get to that in a bit.

So Gokudera accepts this challenge like the sweet delusional child he is, and goes to visit Tsuna.

Tsuna’s just so fucking thrilled to see him.

Gokudera’s wavelength: ~~~~~~

Tsuna’s wavelength:

                                            ~~~~~~

DO YOU GET IT THE WAVELENGTHS ARE DIFFERENT Critical lack of communication and understanding between these two kids who are trying to be best friends but neither of them has the slightest fucking clue how to do it. That’s all I’m saying.

This is something that’s better suited for an essay, so I’ll leave it alone for now, but it’s just interesting to note the contrasts in how they think of each other at this stage in their friendship.

They sit in Tsuna’s room and Tsuna drops moods for all to enjoy.

Pictured above: every thirteen-year-old since the beginning of time.

Gokudera has a stars-in-eyes moment of thinking Tsuna is about to ask him for help, buuuut

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF SOMEONE WHO’S FULLY AWARE THAT HE’S FUCKING OVER HIS FUTURE SELF, AND DOESN’T GIVE A DAMN.

Tsuna continues his mood marathon by freaking out at the sudden appearance of a cockroach!

Gokudera gets ready to BLOW THAT SHIT UP (you don’t fuck around with roaches okay)

But Tsuna ignores this completely and calls his mom because of course he does. What else are moms even there for?

Next, Maman calls Tsuna for help moving the couch. You can see where this is going.

…Okay, I was trying to hold off on essaying about this until the end, but this in particular is the perfect example of what this chapter is trying to get at (and outright says later on). Tsuna and Gokudera occupy different positions in each other’s minds, and right now, these feelings don’t line up. Gokudera thinks of Tsuna as his boss—someone above him. But Tsuna does not think of Gokudera as his subordinate (someone below him). He thinks of him as his friend! An equal!

But unlike Gokudera, Tsuna is actually aware of this dissonance between them. After all, Gokudera makes no secret of the fact that he worships Tsuna. And because Tsuna doesn’t like it, he goes out of his way not to actually treat Gokudera like a subordinate. Therefore, he doesn’t ask Gokudera to do menial tasks for him like killing a bug or moving the couch. If they actually were more like normal friends, he probably wouldn’t hesitate! But since Gokudera constantly treats him like a boss as it is, the last thing Tsuna wants to do is actively encourage it and actually start bossing Gokudera around in any sort of way.

This is something Gokudera just doesn’t get, and I’m 100% sure is one of the main reasons why Reborn came up with this challenge for him to begin with. Because if these two are ever going to learn to understand each other better, Gokudera needs to realize this for himself.

Anyway.

Next up, Lambo haphazardly endangers someone’s life again because that is basically his sole function in the entire Daily Life arc. Long story short, he blows up a telephone pole, which proceeds to fall over, nearly killing Tsuna in the process. Fortunately, Gokudera is there to save the—

Well. He tried.

Anyway, once this is all over, and Gokudera apologizes, Tsuna finally asks him what’s wrong, because of course he was able to tell because he’s the best, TSUNA I LOVE YOU. So Gokudera tells him all about the promotion.

Tsuna acts fucking thrilled and over the moon for him and insists on throwing a party to congratulate him, and I’m sorry but I have to stop and rant AGAIN, because Amano packed so many feelings into this simple little chapter, and I don’t have any more room in my closet to put them!! So I’m just going to vomit them all over my blog s-sigh.

This.

is.

all.

fake.

Tsuna is not thrilled to hear that Gokudera is going back to Italy. He is not actually happy. But he pretends to be happy, for Gokudera’s sake. Whoa there, HOLD THE FUCK UP because LOOK AT THIS SUPER SNEAKY CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT THAT JUST DIVEBOMBED IN OUT OF NOWHERE.

So Tsuna has gone from being terrified of Gokudera, to genuinely thinking of him as a friend! To the point where not only is he upset to learn that he might be leaving, but he’s also conscious enough of Gokudera’s own feelings to pretend that he’s not upset and to try and support Gokudera as much as possible.

And maybe that doesn’t seem like such a big deal, but it is, because if you go back to some of the earlier chapters and look at their relationship, it’s so fucking different from this. The only emotion Tsuna ever seems to show around Gokudera in the early chapters is “stressed.” There is literally a chapter dedicated to making fun of the fact that all Gokudera ever does is stress Tsuna out and all Tsuna ever does is complain about it.

Fast-forward to here, where Tsuna has become completely accepting of Gokudera’s weird behavior and just rolls with it, because underneath that initially scary layer of “wacky, destructive, overly-devoted Gokudera” is a solid core of “Gokudera who is my friend.” They’ve known each other for a year and a half now, and Gokudera has always been there for Tsuna no matter what—even when that commitment only ends up causing more trouble—and Tsuna has finally come to appreciate it. And it’s about damn time too, because Gokudera Hayatos don’t just grow on trees! KEEP APPRECIATING HIM, TSUNA. You lucky bastard.

Sob so where was I oh my god. Okay so Gokudera gets a ton of warm fuzzies from this and decides that he really will go to Italy, for Tsuna’s sake. Because remember, Dino is a fucking liar.

So Gokudera runs off! BUT SUDDENLY he realizes he left his lighter at Tsuna’s house. How convenient! And at this very same moment, Reborn abruptly decides to initiate a conversation with Tsuna all about how much he really does appreciate Gokudera as a friend and doesn’t actually want him to leave. ALSO CONVENIENT.

Except I don’t think for one second this is a coincidence, and in fact, I fully believe that Reborn actually stole Gokudera’s lighter, waited for him to realize it and come back, and then purposely went and got Tsuna monologuing at exactly the right moment for Gokudera to “accidentally” overhear it. Yep.

Am I giving Reborn too much credit here? Maybe. But then again, maybe not, because it’s Reborn, and if you don’t think he’s playing the long game with Tsuna’s future right hand man just as much as he is with Tsuna himself, then you may just be underestimating him.

Anyway, so we then get a page or two of Tsuna blabbing about his complicated Gokudera feelings, but since I already essayed about them above, I will spare you the rehash.

Gokudera overhears it and has a Moment of Feels and decides he will stay in Japan because Tsuna wants him there, as his friend, and to Tsuna that’s more important than Gokudera serving him in Italy as just his subordinate.

If you don’t think that’s exactly what Reborn fucking planned, then clearly we are not reading this series with the same conspiracy goggles.

The next day, a wild Yamamoto appears (wow it’s so weird how you run into people at the airport don’t you think that’s weird), all set to go on a trip to Italy with Dino, because Gokudera told him that was a thing that was happening, so obviously Yamamoto believed him because WHY WOULD GOKUDERA EVER LIE.

This is adorable, and while you may think it was kind of dumb of Yamamoto to actually pack his bags and everything, you have to consider that it’s impossible for anyone to actually say no to that face. Which was probably his back-up plan, AND IT FUCKING WORKED, too.

Dino is happy that Gokudera didn’t come, and Reborn pops up and they have a very disturbing conversation about how there was a plot to murder this innocent child if he actually did fall for their fucked up bait-and-switch, and even though Dino says he would have secretly helped Gokudera escape if it came to that, I still kind of want to punch him in his handsome face, just a little bit.

But Reborn knew all along it wouldn’t happen.

Because he’s the master fucking manipulator raising the splendid tenth generation of the Vongola, and we’re all just here to watch him do his thing

Finally this chapter ends, on two note-perfect moments.

This may honestly be my favorite line in the series.

And words can’t express how much I love the fact that Dino, faced with the prospect of turning down Yamamoto’s innocently smiling face, decided it would be easier and less taxing on his soul to just actually fly him out to Italy for a nice vacation. I wonder how many times Takeshi has pulled this kind of bullshit with his dad. I wonder if anyone has ever turned him down for anything, if it comes to that. Dino, you done been played.

[stoopsbookstore]

Drive (Part 3)

"Hey Y/N, it's almost 10, you need to get up," Seungkwan shook the girl awake, a small beam of light coming in through the hallway.

"No," She murmured, cuddling further into the pillow she was holding.

The door was quietly opened more by S. Coups, who stood in the doorway.

"Your mom let me in, she said that once you get Y/N up, your grandmother needs help."

"Oh crap," Seungkwan stole the blanket off of Y/N and running out of the room, "sorry Y/N."

"If you're here to be a fucking dick, just don't, I'm not in the mood."

S. Coups scoffed, "I was actually here to say that I'm sorry about what happened to you, Strawberry, but you want to act like that, maybe I won't be nice." as Y/N was getting up from the bed, S. Coups scanned her up and down.

"Whose clothes?"

"DK's mom had some old clothes in the back of his father's pick-up, they lent it to me."

"Mm-hm."

S. Coups was thinking about something to say to Y/N. He walked up to her and put his hand on her shoulder, scaring her i to turning around.

"I know I'm an ass someti-"

"All the time," Y/N said, trying to fight back any bit of anger, "like what the hell, Seungcheol," the man groaned at the use of his real name, "you act like an ass one day and the next day, you're trying to act like my best friend. Like what the hell have I ever fucking done to you?"

Stunned, S. Coups looked at the girl, hoping maybe her nickname would spark some sort of reaction from her, "Strawberry."

Y/N shook her head, "my mom dropped some clothes for me earlier, I need to get changed. If you could get out, that would be appreciated."

S. Coups walked out of the room, still in shock before leaving the house, telling Seungkwan there's gonna be an emergency meeting later.

Y/N changed into a mid-thigh high-waisted skirt with an off-the-shoulder shirt, grabbing her phone, and met Seungkwan in the kitchen.

"Are you okay, Y/N?"

"Yea, Kwanie. I'm fine."

"S. Coups wants us to meet him later, are you fine by yourself?"

As if a miracle happened, a notification popped up on Y/N's phone.

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

Seungkwan hugged Y/N, "it's gonna be okay, it shouldn't be more than 2 weeks. Is that one of the Preps?"

"Yeah, the youngest, Dino. He wants to meet at the diner."

"Oh, Lee Chan? Him and Vernon are in my public speaking class. I can give you a ride."

"Thank you, Kwanie."

The drive to the diner was anti-climatic. While Y/N and Seungkwan were walking into the diner, Y/N looked at the boy and told him, "Dude, you drive like a granny."

"Excuse you, my driving is the best quality, thank you."

"I knew I heard them," Vernon was waving at the duo, "we're over here."

Jun slid out of the booth to let Y/N in and immediately threw his arm over the girl's shoulder.

"You could've stayed at my house, babygirl. We could've shared a bed together."

"Gross, Junhui," Y/N said, putting her head on his shoulder. Seungkwan stiffened at the flirtyness between the two and tried to avoid looking at them. Vernon noticed this and nudged him, mouthing "they're always like this. They're just friends."

The group was talking for an hour until the bell above the door rang, revealing the other 3 Socs.

"Seungkwan," S. Coups's voice boomed through their section, "get your ass over here. It's bad enough you have to let one stay with you, we can't have you turn into one."

Seungkwan got up and pouted, Vernon got in front of him, confronting the Soc leader.

"Dude, just get the hell over it, we don't want any shit. Just let him hang out with whoever he wants."

Jun got up and pulled Vernon away.

"Scared, Pretty boy?" The member known as Hoshi snarled.

"No, I just don't want to do it here. The diner is neutral territory, remember? Or are you all just dumbasses?”

"Alright, let's not do it here," Hoshi gestured around the diner, "Let's do it on Jenkin's Curve."

Both of the groups started to yell and whoop for their side, along with some diner patrons.

"Really, Jun?" Y/N said, standing up from the booth, trying to tug Jun away from the rowdiness, "Jenkin's Curve?"

"Winner gets the diner," Mingyu spoke above the ruckus, "the loser gets to be the winner's little bitch for a week and has to suffer through finding a new hangout that hasn’t already been claimed."

"If all terms are accepted, shake hands," Dino added.

"Fine." Both leaders shouted, before shaking hands, Jun whispering something into S.Coups's ear.

It seemed as if the diner went insane, everyone running out to see the race. It was like everyone just teleported, vanished, disappeared, dashed to Jenkin’s Curve to get a great seat.

"Jun, you can't do this. Are you insane?"

"Babygirl, I'll be fine," he kissed the girl's cheek, "I'll make sure I win."

Nayoung appeared from the sidelines, "on the count of 3, you'll go. The winner gets Paige's Pantry, a servant, and a special prize that'll be revealed after the race. It'll be one lap, here through Jenkin's Curve and back again. Got it?"

The guys revved their engines.

1... 2... 3... Nayoung waved them off.

S. Coups and Jun took off like bats out of Hell, going from 0 to 60 in the span of 2 seconds.

The audience waited in suspense, it felt like no one was breathing, but they were all cheering. The race would only take about 3 minutes, the winner was gonna be announced any second. Time slowed down, but it was like the race over in the blink of an eye. The two cars were back at the start, Jun getting out of his car with a smile, while S. Coups looked like he was upset, almost about to cry, staring at Y/N.

Nayoung grabbed his wrist, "Your winner, Wen Ju-"

Red and blue lights flashed around the area, sirens cutting through the air.

Everyone scattered like cockroaches when they heard sirens coming. S. Coups ran to Y/N, pulling her with him through the woods, a shortcut to a run-down house.

"Come on, my uncle owns this house, he uses it for storage, we'll be safe here," S. Coups said, clearly running on adrenaline, yanking Y/N along with all his strength.

They ran to the basement of the house, hiding underneath the stairs. S. Coups heard a creek and pulled Y/N into the corner, shielding her body with his. When the sirens faded, he loosened his grip.

The pair jumped when they heard his phone vibrated and he growled at the annoyance. Y/N would be lying if she said it wasn't hot. 'It has to be the cold,' she thought.

"He bet me?" Y/N said, looking flabbergasted, "and you were at my house a few weeks ago?"

"I can explain why I was there, but not why he bet you. Seungkwan wanted me to check on you, he says that you're often alone at your house, that your parents constantly work, he didn't want you to be scared, but he said himself he's too much of a pussy to ask you because he knows you'll say you're fine."

Y/N said nothing.

"Is it true?"

"No."

"Strawberry, I saw you standing at the kitchen island by yourself, watching TV. How often are they gone?"

"I don't need your pity, Seungcheol," she pushed the tall guy away and started to walk up the stairs until S. Coups hugged her.

"I'm not givin-"

"Then what are you doing?," she snaked out of his grasp, "you never answered me earlier. Why are you such an ass and then the very next moment, you're being the nicest guy I've met?"

"It's hard to explain and it's stupid to explain."

"Well, it looks like we're gonna have all night, seeing as the cops probably towed your car."

"Nah, I threw Hoshi the keys, he's probably at my house right now with the others, I'll text him saying I'll be home in the morning." S. Coups looked at the girl, who was shivering. He grabbed an old blanket from one of his uncle's bins, gently putting it over Y/N's shoulder. He sat down on a couch that was wrapped in plastic, patting the spot next to him. Y/N groaned, she didn't see anything else to sit on.

"My dad hates Preps and Greasers. He thinks they're scum, lowest of the low. My mom left him because of it. Me, Jun and Wonwoo used to be best friends until my dad screamed at all 3 of us one day, banned me from being friends with them," Y/N put her head on his shoulder, trying to fight the Sandman’s sleepy spell, "a grown-ass adult banning 12-years old from being friends, I act like I hate them because I want to impress him. I know it's not an excuse for me to act like that, but I never know when he's watching me. I don't hate Jun and Wonwoo, I can't hate them, we grew up with each other. If he knew I was in love with a Prep, he'd disown me. I tried to tell myself if," he yawned in the middle of the sentence, "that if I act like I hated you, I'd stop feeling like that. But, seeing you with DK and Jun... I feel like I've lost my chance," He looked over at Y/N, who looked like she was about to fall asleep.

"Maybe you have, maybe you haven't," she said, “just start acting like not a prick and we’ll see what happens.”

S. Coups stood up, pulling the girl to her feet. As Y/N continued to fight sleep, S. Coups uncovered the couch, throwing the plastic to the side, placing the cushions on the floor and taking out the fold-out bed. He grabbed Y/N's hand and pulled her to the bed.

"Is this oka-"

"This doesn't mean I forgive you, I'm cold, tired and normally I sleep with something like a teddy bear or a cat at my feet."

S. Coups laid on his back, Y/N curling up to him, snuggling into his chest before falling asleep moments later. S. Coups stayed awake for a few minutes before kissing Y/N's forehead.

"I'll make it up to you, I promise."

[tiablackraven]

100 questions challenge

1.) What is you middle name? I don’t have a middle name

2.) How old are you? 22

3.) When is your birthday? 14th April

4.) What is your zodiac sign? Aries

5.) What is your favorite color? Blue

6.) What’s your lucky number? 3? Maybe..?

7.) Do you have any pets? Some fishes in an aquarium (they’re names are: Andelina, Guendalina, Leopoldo, Dino, Sergente Baffetti, Olaf, Martino, Pasquino and Pinguino) and a family of 3 blackbirds that lives in my garden (Merlo, Merlino and Tondina)

8.) Where are you from? Friuli, in Italy

9.) How tall are you? 155cm

10.) What shoe size are you? 38/39

11.) How many pairs of shoes do you own? 2

12.) What was your last dream about? In my last dream, I was running along a foggy street at night trying desperately to get home. At one point I find a gray house and on the balcony there is a little girl, faceless, dressed in black with a white fulard that observes me. I ask for help and she indicate the right way by pointing with a finger, I thank her, and I can get to the front door of my house.

13.) What talents do you have? Just draw

14.) Are you psychic in any way? Uh? I don’t think.. ( .3.)

15.) Favorite song? I like a lot of songs… Let’s say that at the moment I choose Glass Walls and Waterfalls-Nick Ammar

16.) Favourite movie? Same thing as before.. I like too many movies! Uuuh..Harry Potter’s Saga..? Jurassic Park….?

17.) Who would be your ideal partner? I like “giants with a cream heart” and, physically, I prefer boys that black hair, a bit of unkempt beard and light eyes

18.) Do you want children? At the moment no

19.) Do you want a church wedding? I… don’t know…..?

20.) Are you religious? Yes, but not at extreme levels. Only behave well with others

21.) Have you ever been to the hospital? When she was a child a lot, but I do not remember anything. For the rest only for checks or vaccines, nothing special

22.) Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Fortunately no and I hope also in the future

23.) Have you ever met any celebrities? Nope

24.) Baths or showers? Showers

25.) What color socks are you wearing? Light grey with white stripes

26.) Have you ever been famous? Nope

27.) Would you like to be a big celebrity? Yes, but only on Internet

28.) What type of music do you like? I like a lot of genres, but I think that what I listen to is more punk-rock

<

p>29.) Have you ever been skinny dipping? I don't understand the question ('-' )?/p>

30.) How many pillows do you sleep with? 1

31.) What position do you usually sleep in? I sleep on my side when I’m curled up; but in winter, if it’s really cold, I’m in “caterpillar” mode where I wrap myself up with blankets

32.) How big is your house? Big enough: 2 floors + ground floor + cellar

33.) What do you typically have for breakfast? Coffee with milk and cookies

34.) Have you ever fired a gun? Nope but I have challenged more than a real sword

35.) Have you ever tried archery? Nope but I would like to try in the future

36.) Favorite clean word? “Nani?”[“What?” from japanese]

37.) Favorite swear word? “Babbeo!”[“Looby!” from italian] and “Cretino!”[“Nitwit!” from italian]

38.) What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 37 hours below

39.) Do you have any scars? One on the left shoulder, falling off the bike because a great St. Bernard was coming to me (with his nitwit master who did not give a damn and kept talking with someone), trying to dodge the big dog I jumped on purpose by the bike but I was at the beginning of a descent and therefore I rubbed the shoulder well, not to mention that it was summer and the asphalt was very hot (I’m not there with the dog but only with his stupid master)

40.) Have you ever had a secret admirer? More than one: One on DeviantArt, three in real life (one of which is soooo much younger than me) and two in online video games

41.) Are you a good liar? Yes, but only when I need

42.) Are you a good judge of character? I don’t think. I do not like talking bad about people (apart from some rare cases, really bastard people)

43.) Can you do any other accents other than your own? Yes, but just to joke

44.) Do you have a strong accent? Absolutely not

45.) What is your favorite accent? Neapolitan..? Japanese..? I don’t know.. But I really like the Italian accent in English films

46.) What is your personality type? Mediator

47.) What is your most expensive piece of clothing? I have no idea, but I’m not one that tends to spend a lot on clothes or things signed

48.) Can you curl your tongue? Nope

49.) Are you an innie or an outie? Uh…Innie?

50.) Left or right handed? Right

51.) Are you scared of spiders? Nope, also someone are nice (^w^)

52.) Favorite food? As a complex dish Sauce of Mixed Fish with Polenta (very tasty) as a simple ice cream (chocolate-mint and milk)

53.) Favorite foreign food? Cantonese rice

54.) Are you a clean or messy person? A bit of both

55.) Most used phrase? “Ma daiiiiiiii!”[“Come ooooooon!” from italian]

56.) Most used word? “Hoooooooooi!” or “ anyway..”(at the end of a phrase)

57.) How long does it take for you to get ready? Not a long time

58.) Do you have much of an ego? Naaaah..

59.) Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck

60.) Do you talk to yourself? Few times

61.) Do you sing to yourself? When I walk in a street with nobody around, in the car with my mother, while I work at home and, most importantly, when I take a shower

62.) Are you a good singer? I don’t know..maybe yes..?

63.) Biggest Fear? The locusts, the cockroaches and the future

64.) Are you a gossip? Naaah..

65.) Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? “Interstellar” worth?

66.) Do you like long or short hair? Short

67.) Can you name all 50 states of America? Pffft..nope!

68.) Favorite school subject? Art (UvU)

69.) Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert

<

p>70.) Have you ever been scuba diving? Nope, but i wanna try on future

71.) What makes you nervous? Exams and social events

72.) Are you scared of the dark? Noway

73.) Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Nope

74.) Are you ticklish? Yeah (^-^)“

75.) Have you ever started a rumor? Nope

76.) Have you ever been in a position of authority? I was a class representative in high school, but apart from that nothing more

77.) Have you ever drank underage? Nope, but for my will and not because my parents told me

78.) Have you ever done drugs? Hell no!

79.) Who was your first real crush? My first real crush I had in the third year of high school: it was a guy with black hair, beard and dark eyes. He was part of the Fashion class (which was “close to class” with my class of Design) he was very nice and kind, we often met for the corridors and to draw in the class of the bright tables ….. then I discovered he was gay ( ç-ç)

80.) How many piercings do you have? I do not have, but I’d like to have them at the top of the ear

81.) Can you roll your Rs? Yup!

82.) How fast can you type? Enugh

83.) How fast can you run? The ride is not for me ..I hate runing

84.) What color is your hair? Black (but I have some of white hair)

85.) What color is your eyes? Greens (with some small light-blue spots)

86.) What are you allergic to? Nothing

87.) Do you keep a journal? More or less: I have a “Diary of Dreams” which I transcend my dreams and look for possible meanings

88.) What do your parents do? My mother works in the office in the Ministry of Works and my father runs an electronics repair and sales shop

89.) Do you like your age? Yeah

90.) What makes you angry? People who say “shut up”, rudeness (of people and the environment), not be believed or listened to

91.) Do you like your own name? Noway..but I like what they call me in the family: “Siana”

92.) Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? If males, Marco or Lorenzo, if females, Selene or Artemisia

93.) Do you want a boy a girl for a child? Both

94.) What are you strengths? I’m brave enough,I can wait,I can play videogames, I can draw, I try to help others and I’m a good goalkeeper

95.) What are your weaknesses? I am dyslexic, I think too much about the future, I have mood swings, I am not good at subjects (nor explain them),I don’t know very good english, I have a bad memory, I struggle to relate, I can not make decisions, I can not cook, I have little self-esteem and I tend to lose sight of people over time

96.) How did you get your name? My father wanted a complex name so that, if he called me out of school, twenty little girls would not turn around

97.) Were your ancestors royalty? Pffft.. I don’t belive!Although I do not actually know the story of my father’s family

98.) Do you have any scars? Yes on the shoulder (uh? déjà vu?)

99.) Color of your bedspread? Blue

100.) Color of your room? Withe, brown and light brown

[vernons-laugh-is-my-aesthet-blog]

Seventeen as oddly specific family members:

S.coups: The dad that gets really upset and emotional (like with tears and everything) when the family doesn’t cooperate and only complain during a family vacation. The dad who cooks and maintains the garden. (Was the only one that cried when the oldest daughter left for college that’s near the house )

“I’m not mad, just disappointed” *takes off his goddamn shoe*

Jeonghan: The mom that would call your name from downstairs, you’d call back, and she wouldn’t answer, so you have to go down and ask all frustrated like: “WHAT.” But she was actually calling your other sibling.

“I drink to forget, but I always remember”

Joshua: The ‘hip’ uncle that always has money to pass around,obviously having a midlife crisis, and loves to embarrass his wife while awkwardly serenading her during karaoke. preferably with a early 2000s hit like ‘Toxic’ by Brittany Spears. Bonus points if it has rap (that no. He does not know)

*crawling on table dramatically reaching for his spouse* “your toxic tongue slipping under”

Jun: That one little cousin who’s awkward as hell at first, but as you get to know them you learn that they’re a wild child that also favors you

“Wanna play imaginary power rangers with us?” (that game’s lit BTW)

Hoshi: Uncle that yells during sports games or any time tbh and is a lot of the times the life of the party. The only one who is still traveling around the world not completely settled down like everyone else with their damn 60 children

*drunk*  “jokes on you guys, I get to see the world! You guys just have a home! children! Someone to love…a place to always go back to…. HAHAHAha” *intense crying*

Wonwoo: Older Brother who was once a childish weirdo, that then went through a teenage emo phase, BUT is now slowly forming into a new him that is more mature, nicer, and a GROWN UP weirdo…

*attempts a really stupid prank that failed* -me: obviously not amused- “Look at your face I GOT YOU HAHAHA, bitch you just got PRANKED” (<- this happened when he was  in elementary AND college -_-)

Woozi: That old ass dog that just strolls around the party as everyone pets him. Doesn’t mind it until he chooses to mind. He’s super cute and people make a sad pouty “awww” whenever they look at him (lol cause he’s old af, days are numbered bud) but deep down in his dog mind he’s prob. thinking:

“Oh Patricia; still not married huh? oh well… I’m not judging…” *judges*

Dk: Loud ass mother fukn cousin who is on crack 25/8; but then you dont see each other for a couple years and it’s weird, but then you warm up again and YUP. He’s still loud as hell (and you love it)

“BET I can eat this whole tub of ice cream!” -me: I’m not betting you th- *stuffs face* “I can’t believe you’re making me do this :D”

Mingyu: The successful, surprisingly young uncle in the food business who walks around wearing nice things, and looks like he could buy the world, but he and the whole family knows that he’s actual trash and breaks everything; still apologizes to the animals he cooks (it’s what makes him quirky)

*Walks into the party-host’s newly designed home* *Picks up vase* “ Wow where’d you ge- *drops it* *  NO ONE is surprised* “I-I can pay for that…”

The8: The somewhat violent cousin who is in between the “toddler and kid” phase and still looks small, but can form full savage sentences. His mom just put him in karate and he just loves using your lifeless body to showcase his ‘skills’ (but you love him anyway b/c he can play rough without crying like a lil bitch)

* doesn’t cry if you punch him, but cries if you tickle him for too long*

Seungkwan: The aunt who always tries to get your antisocial ass involved in the partay she’s always like “tell the kids how to play the game, sing for us (I’ll give you $5~), or eat EaT EAT.”, Gossips with your mother who was her childhood friend

“Ohhh you’ve changed so much! (from 3 days ago…) So sexy!!”

Vernon:The family friend’s child you grew up with (in which both your moms practically arranged a wedding for already*-_-), but they had a glo up (hot). They look different, have a new taste in music, and SEEM more mature, but act the exact same (stupid and childish. they act stupid and childish.), but you still dont know how to act around them because you’re a naturally awkward bean and they’re ppreeettyyy

*is literally 18* “ so are you gonna play power rangers with us (*cough* with actual 6-10 year olds)  or not?”

Dino: That one chill ass baby that like never cries for some reason. everyone loves him because he doesn’t cry and just seems kinda confused most of the time. Only reacts to certain songs being played. He’d crawl to the dog and feed him some good shit from the table.

*all the aunts pinching his cheeks till they turn red* Chan: *not crying but left with a confused/dIsGuSteD facial expression*

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 19: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

S: Bugs.  Bugs is what I'm getting at.

O: [Laughs] Oh, okay.

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast.  An episode by episode recap of the generation 1 Transformers cartoon.  I'm Owls!

S: And I’m Specs!

O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 19, Dinobot Island Part 1.  Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yeah.

O: We open with Bumblebee (plus jetpack) and Powerglide flying through the air heading towards some strange energy reading in the middle of the ocean.

S: [laughs] Bumblebee comms back to base, to get confirmation from Optimus Prime and when it cuts to the Autobots we see Wheeljack at the console, you know, Teletraan 1, the big screen and everything, and then everyone else is like a good 60 feet back.

O: [snorts]

S: They're probably afraid Wheeljack's gonna blow shit up again.

O: By basically manning their telephone? [laughs]

S: Don't underestimate Wheeljack's ability to blow shit up.  He's got a green thumb for it...or a black thumb? I don’t know…

O: He’s very, very talented at blowing shit up, let’s just go with that.

S: At least that’s how the fandom handles it.

O: I mean, fair.  Bumblebee however, seems to be very gung-ho about this mission and excited and kind of surprised that Optimus seems to think so highly of him.

S: Like, he's kinda--he's almost a little blushy.

O: Yeah, he is.

S: It's kind of cute.

O: It's--well, Bee is very cute.

S: It's-it's sweet.  Then Powerglide calls Bumblebee his ‘Little Bee Buddy.’

O: Which great name, it's a great name.

S: Yeah…

O: Ah, Powerglide, while flying slams into some sort of energy wave or energy field and says that it won't affect him because he's got too much ‘pizazz!’

S: Oh god--he's an idiot who thinks he dumped all of his points into charisma but clearly he didn',t and then again I'm having a hard time figuring out what stat he would have dumped them into because it's clearly not wisdom.  Maybe dexterity? And I'm actually really wishing now that I'd sat down and put together a fucking stat sheet.

O: Oh god, that sounds nightmarish.  All I know is that Powerglide talks about himself a lot.   I feel like he says his name like six times in sixty seconds in his introduction.

S:  Something like that.  He sort of speaks in pseudo third-person, it gets kind of old.

O: It gets old very quickly.

S: But they had to have some way of differentiating these new Autobots from the previous ones so you get a bit more, um, out there personalities and speech tics.

O: [snorts] I mean, I guess at least they have personalities?

S: Or speech patterns is what I meant.

O: Yeah.

S: Cuz you've got Warpath and...all of that.

O: Yeah…

S: They're suddenly attacked by a giant pteranodon that carries Bee away in its claws.  Providing his own narration, Powerglide then flies off to the rescue.

O: Bee looks like, super done through this entire sequence.  Uh, he even says something to the effect of, “Can't he just save a guy without doing a commercial?”

S: Honestly, the Autobots could probably earn money by you know, selling off Powerglide’s vocal--

O: Oh god.

S: --powers for commercials.

O: Yeah, he--he would make a good--good guy to do commercials for…

S: Oh god, him and Swindle, doing something together.

O: Oh god, oh god, yes please--someone write this? [laughs]

S: Like, Swindle’s a perfectly good sell guy by himself but I mean, you want an infomercial…

O: Give him the power--uh, giving them the power of Powerglide’s voice?  Oh yes, they would sell so much shit!

S:  Oh god, I'm just imagining the robot infomercials now.  Shamwow, Oxyclean...

O: [laughs] Shamwow, now--now sponsored by the Auto--the Autobots!  Shamwow! [continues laughing while Specs speaks]

S: God, there’d be some sort of Powerglide pun in there somewhere.

O: Ugh, you know it would.

S: [sighs] And then well--uh, so back on topic, Powerglide does indeed chase the pteranodon off but it drops Bumblebee whose jetpack is no longer functioning properly like, it's super beat all to hell.

O: Uh, yeah after you know, being picked up by a pteranodon. Bee does eventually land safely with the help of a palm tree cushioning his impact.

S: It’s a thing, it’s a thing.  And okay, I figured out where Powerglide put his stats.  He clearly blasts Bee’s jetpack with some sort of ray of healing from his forehead, so magic?  Like--he's like, the world's shittiest wizard.

O: Oh god. [laughs] I don't want to think about him being a wizard.  He’s like, one of the flim-flam man if he is a freaking wizard.

S: [groans]

O: Yeah!  I'm right!  I'm right, and should say it!

S: Yeah.

O: [laughs] Anyway, Bumblebee explores the immediate area on, uh, the island that they have crash-landed on.

S: There are a fuckton of dinosaurs here and Bee is promptly attacked by a t-rex.

O: To which, he runs back to Powerglide and sort of jerks him--him by the arm in the direction that the t-rex is now chasing him.

S: Or is coming from, yeah.

O: Is com--yeah, like that the t-rex that is chasing him is coming from.

S: It's like, “Here, here look at this thing it wants to eat me!”

O: [laughs] “Save me!”

S: “Do--do the thing, kick its ass!”

O: Uh, Powerglide transforms and Bee hangs a ride by grabbing on top of uh, Powerglide’s plane mode and they fly off.  It looks very uncomfortable.

S: Yeah. Honestly, it's probably messing with Powerglide’s you know, uh, aerodynamic surfaces but okay…

O: The power of magic robots?

S: Yeah.  Back at the Ark, Bee and Powerglide have clearly reported the living fossils they ran into to the other Autobots and there, they proceed to insult the Dinobots.  You know, like normal--which is kind of sad.

O: You're all terrible, I want you to know this.

S: Yeah...Wheeljack tries to mitigate the general air of disrespect by saying that the Dinobots have good qualities and he's been trying to teach them stuff.

O: Wheeljack is a good Dino dad.

S: Yeah, and then Huffer decides to be a dick about this statement.

O: Yep, yep, shut up Huffer.

S: Shut up Huffer.

O: [laughs]

S: Wheeljack's idea of demonstrating Grimlock’s newfound control over his powers, his--his newfound dexterity, is to have Blaster transform into his alt mode and then have Grimlock change the radio stations...with fire breath or a laser breath or however they refer to it.

O: All this seems like a terrible, terrible, terrible idea!

S: It is, like yes, you can demonstrate his dexterity some other way, dude!

O: That doesn't involve fire and possibly melting your communications officer.

S: Yeah.

O: Grimlock, to his credit does actually succeed in changing the station without incinerating Blaster, much to the chagrin of Ironhide, Trailbreaker, and Sideswipe.

S: They have no taste. They don't like any of those music. But, ah, considering it was changed to a rock station I would expect this from Ironhide and possibly Trailbreaker but Sideswipe--you're a young hip dude!

O: Sides, there is no way you don't listen to rock, I am not buying this for a single goddamn second.

S: Maybe he's more of a pop guy?

O: Oh god, now I'm just like, now I'm just imagining him doing karaoke to Britney Spears songs.

S: [laughs]

O: Thank you, thank you for that came to Britney Spears in my brain!  Just imagine him going, “Catch me baby one more time,” or whatever. [Clearly my 90’s card needs to be revoked, because it’s, “Hit me baby one more time.” ~Owls]

S: Yeah.

O: Hust mmm-mmm, perfection and you know he would do it at karaoke just to drive Prowl nuts.

S: Or maybe he likes Dolly Parton?

O: [laughing while trying to talk] JOLENE! [continues to laugh]

S: The rest of the bots and humans in the room proceed to celebrate.

O: Wheeljack in particular seems super proud of Grimlock.

S: [sighs] Of course something has to go wrong, and that thing is Slag and Sludge getting interested in what's going on and then proceeding to bump into Grimlock.  Who then begins spewing fire around the room uncontrollably.

O: I love it because Grimlock says, “Slag, Sludge, go away!  Me, Grimlock, demonstrating finesse (whatever that mean),” before immediately turning around and destroying something else with his extremely long tail.

S: Yeah...honestly the perspective on that made no sense…

O: It looked way too long.  I'm like not really sure what happened there to be honest.

S: Yeah, the situation proceeds to further unravel with the on--with the arrival of the ever curious Snarl and Swoop, who want to come and investigate all this shit.

O: Which, congrats!  You lured the first two idiots with the racket, now you've caught the other two.

S: Well, they’re five for five.

O: They are five for five!

S: The Dinobots get dangerously close to Teletraan 1 but Trailbreaker uses a shield to protect it but he like, shoots it and then it hits and sort of spreads and it's weird.

O: Yeah, not really sure how this guy's powers work.

S: Yeah.

O: We see several previously unseen Autobots who rush in to put out the room which is now on fire.  The main two we get to see are Inferno, a fire truck, and Red Alert, a fire Lamborghini. Yes really, that's what he's supposed to be.

S: Well, I suppose it was either that or a fire Datsun, or a fire Porsche, or a fire minibot.  Do you want a fire miniot? Cuz that's how you get a fire on minibot.

O: [laughs] So, I looked it up, I believe his toy is a police car version of Sideswipe and Sunstreaker’s mold and it literally was listed as like, the police version.  Um, but I'm laughing because I'm like oh no--now I'm wondering is there a police version of the Datsun or the Porsche, or the minibot?

S: Well, there could be a police version of the Lamborghini in Italy.

O: Well isn’t Prowl--what is Prowl?

S: Prowl’s a Datsun.

O: Oh, Prowl’s a Datsun...then we already had a po--we already had a police Datsun!

S: Yeah, so it's just--I don't think--cuz, like Crown Victorias were like, the main police car.

O: Oh, yeah.

S: Now there's Mustangs and stuff and I've never seen a Lamborghini.

O: Yeah, like it's just...there would never be a fire Lamborghini.

S: Well, let me look this up.  Cuz I now want to know if there's a police...no, let’s see...oh my god!  Italy's newest police car is a Lamborghini as of 2017.

O: That's still 30 years too late I'm not looking at it! [laughs]

S: Well, there could be other Lamborghinis there, but a Lamborghini makes sense for--

O: Like, Italy.

S: Yeah.  Ratchet is rather resigned to having to repair the entire room now with Sparkplug offering to help.  Well, he's also got Grapple.

O: Oh yeah, Grapple’s in here.

S: Yeah and um...shoot I forget his name...Hoist.  Grapple and Hoist.

O: The Dinobots however, continued to blunder around with Sideswipe getting the brilliant idea of fighting them to a standstill.

S: [sighs] I mean that is basically...that--that is basically his entire modus operandi.  Slamming shit until it stops being a problem.

O: True.  Uh, then the red idiot brigade rush in like well, idiots.  This being Sideswipe, Cliffjumper, and Ironhide.

S: Well, they did decide to color code their hot heads.

O: They did!  [laughs] They did!  Well, paint them all red, they're idiots.

S: Yeah, thankfully they are stopped in their tracks by Optimus Prime.  And Optimus has Grimlock bring the other Dinobots to heel.

O: He actually shows some modicum of respect and trust towards Grimlock here, wow.

S: It's an improvement.

O: Definitely is.

S: They then get the brilliant idea of sending the Dinobots to the newly discovered island.  Where they'll be less likely to break shit or at least shit the Autobots care about.

O: [laughs] Yeah, uh, cutting away we see that Ravage and Soundwave are eavesdropping on the Autobots as they exit from the side of a mountain.  Why do they even have this?

S: I guess they wanted a backdoor.  They wanted somewhere where they wouldn't be mobbed by paparazzi.

O: [snorts]

S: Except you never see the paparazzi.

O: I feel like there should be paparazzi.  I mean if giant alien robots landed on earth I feel like paparazzi would be all over that shit but--

S: Either that or someone that wants to sell magazines--we've already discussed the magazine subscription sales.

O: Yeah.  Wheeljack and Ratchet uh, being good parents actually wish their babies luck.

S: They're sending their kids off to summer camp.

O: It is kind of what it feels like, yes.

S: Yeah, I except there aren't any moderators.

O: Yup, yup, we are leaving we are leaving the babies in charge of the babies.

S: Oh god no, they're basically sending them off to…

O: Live in the woods for a week? [laughs]

S: More or less!  They're basically doing what Izumi did with the Elrics.

O: [laughs] Yep, yep, yep, that’s close.

S: Oh god, except now--now Spike hops into Powerglide, to come with them, like--

O: Why--why aren we bringing the squishy?

S: He wants to sightsee, unfortunately he didn't bring any goddamn camera.  Cuz, you know Chip would be all over this.

O: Yeah, Chip would like to see this!

S: I guess we needed a the human element.

O: Well, that human element’s gonna end up smeared across the bottom of either the organic, or the robot t-rex, I fucking guarantee it.

S: Unfortunately yeah, or he's gonna puke everywhere because you just know Powerglide's gonna pull a freaking rodeo with every goddamn ride he takes this kid on.

O: Ohhhhh yeah.  Spike does actually put on a seat belt here which is kinda new. [laughs]

S: I figure planes would have some sort of restraint device even in the 80’s, but who knows.

O: That's my guess, that's our guess anyway.

S: Soundwave comms Megatron about the mysterious island discovered by the Autobots.

O: And clearly it’s shit on Starscream hour, as Megatron insinuates at least some Decepticons don't disappoint him.

S: At some point somewhere some version of Megatron has to have, “All of you disappoint me,” mug, or something.

O: Oh my god!  Yes! Now I want that, I want a mug--I want a tiny mug of that, to hand my G1 Megatron.

S: It’s just--

O: He absolutely has that mug!  I don't know this one has that mug but one of them's got that mug!

S: Yeah.

O: Maybe Prime Megatron?

S: [snickers, following by unintelligible audio]

O: Soundwave’s like, sipping his own shit that says like, “#1 Communications Officer,” cuz he knows he ain't talking about him.

S: Yeah.

O: [laughs]

S: So Soundwave sends Laserbeak after the Autobot crew, to you know, keep tabs on them.  Like a competent communication officer does.

O: Right!  Of course, as the Autobot group gets near the island Powerglide decides to show Spike his moves.

S: I called it.  I--I freakin called it.  Powerglide just cannot resist showboating.

O: But he's a plane! [laughs]

S: Show--show-planing, show-flying?

O: Showing off! [laughs]

S: Yeah. Spike decides to name the new island and he goes with Dinobot Island cuz…

O: Who--who let the 14-year old named shit!?! Guys--guys, Powerglide, you talk all the time surely you can think of a better name than this!

S: He may not care.

O: Of course!  And I--I feel like his suggestion would be like, “Let's call it Powerglide island!”

S: Well of course!  Cuz the most important person was first on the ground!

O:  Or--but he wasn’t!  Bumblebee was!

S: Yes, but that was falling, he wasn't the first person to actually set foot on it!

O: Oh god.

S: I don’t know!  I don’t--I don’t think I care. [laughs] Ahh..

O: The Autobots land and Laserbeak lands some distance away, still keeping an eye on them cuz again, competent.  Competent soldier.

S: One of the locals attempts to buddy up to Laserbeak, but gets eye lasers for their trouble.

O:Laserbeak’s not even remotely in the vicinity of fucking around here, he's got a job to do!  Laserbeak also conveniently pulls out his camera as Spike starts going on about all the energy sources on the island.

S: He mentions an oil pit.  How is there an oil pit here?  That wouldn't be...safe? But I mean okay, they're probably talking about tar, maybe?

O: I mean like, that's what--what we assumed is that--well, at least it's what I’m assumed, they have to mean tar pit!  But I'm still not sure how that's a source of energy?

S: Well, I mean, I guess there's enough thermal energy but I don't get how they’d get it.  Who the fuck knows.

O: Or at least how would that be less difficult than like, I don't know--solar energy in the middle of the fucking ocean?

S: Or wind power--

O: Or wind power--

S: --or you know, water power.

O: --or wave power--

S: Hydrodynamics?

O: --or whatever!  A zillion other things that the Decepticons could be doing under the radar and not being caught with!

S: They’re dumb robots and it's an 80’s cartoon.  We've already had discussions about that.

O: Oh, so many.  Of course, the first thing Powerglide says uh, is that, “It's a good thing those Cons don't know about this!”

S: Well, it's already been jinxed.

O: Yep!  And not 30 seconds later Powerglide has a horrifying realization that he has lost the human.

S: He's a really bad babysitter, he can't be trusted.

O: Clearly not.  Cutting back to Spike, he is immediately picked up by a giant green dinosaur out of nowhere.

S: One that obviously doesn't have a basis in reality.  I mean it looks like a weird dragon.

O: Minus, you know, actually like, being able to breathe flame.  He is then dropped into a nest with some absurdly huge eggs like, way too big for the dinosaur that has dropped him in there.

S: Maybe it's the dad that dropped him in and the female is bigger or something.  Maybe they're like kiwis? I don't know.

O: I think you're giving this show far more credit than it deserves. [laughs]

S: Swoop comes in for the rescue.

O: That's because Swoop is a good birb!

S: Spike gets dropped off near a lake, with Swoop telling him to be careful before flying off.

O: Nessie then rises from behind Spike and grabs him in their mouth, swimming off.

S: Oh plesiosaurs,I'm surprised the Autobots didn't decide to ah, build someone based off of one…

O:  Hee, hee, hee, Paddles !

S: Powerglide and the Dinobots here Spike screaming and run over.  Except, I don't know--Powerglide flies for like two seconds--

O: [laughs] Yeah for a whole two seconds, he is extremely gung-ho for a rescue until he spots the giant water monster and then he's like, “Uh, how about you guys do it instead?” to the Dinobots.

S: Yeah.  Spike is then rescued by Sludge after Nessie drops him.  And in a blissful moment of sanity, Spike decides to return home as he is tired of being dindins.

O: Yeah, for once a competent decision was made, weird.  Laserbeak, uh, after you know, presumably getting all of this on video, returns to the Decepticon base where he displays the recorded information for Dinobot Island to the rest of the Cons.

S: Megatron, well clearly Megatron's been taking notes from his comic iteration here as his badge is bright red.

O: [laughs] For like one shot.  Megs is gunning --get it, get it, because he’s a gun?  For a takeover of Dinobot Island but Starscream, who clearly does not want to be a flying dino dinner, objects.

S: Regardless, Megatron orders an attack in some completely ridiculous, amazing, visual framing.  Megatron is just standing there, in the middle of the group, with an arm up in a victory pose, flanked by two Decepticons on either side, with Thrust (whom we haven't met yet) framed by Megatron's magnificent thighs.

O: That placement seems so, so phallic.

S: Especially considering his name.

O: Yes, but it gets worse because Thrust is one of the Coneheads which means he has you know, a pointy head.

S: Yes.

O: Which only makes this worse, or better, really, depending on how you look at it.

S: To--to clarify, Thrust is way in the background and he's not like, lying on a stomach between Megatron’s thighs--

O: No, but he's like, he looks tiny in the distance and he’s right under Megatron’s crotch!

S: Yes.

O: And I’m just like--why did you frame it like that!?!  [laughs] Back on Dinobot Island, the Dinobots are training.

S: Grimlock does not have the vocabulary for this.

O: What do you mean Specs, “Do flying stuff!” sounds plenty descriptive to me!

S: It's pretty descriptive, but it's not you know, good for specifics.

O: The Cons land, uh, Megatron being a dick to Starscream.

S: When isn't he?

O: Oh, never really.

S: And then Starscream mentions being worried about the bizarre energy waves.

O: Because you know, scientist and shit, right?

S: They actually remembered he did that.

O: Yeah, I know, right?

S: The group splits up to gather Energon from the various energy sources on the island.

O: Starscream uh, proceeds to freak the fuck out as the weather begins to de--destabilize, but Megatron just points at him and tells them to get back to work.

S: From the air--Swoop the spots the Decepticons from the air.

O: Grimlock uh, after Swoop gets back and tells them this, orders the rest of the Dinobots to attack.

S: Meanwhile, Spike and Bumblebee are coming out of a library with some lovely, lovely research in hand.  Which we couldn't read the titles of--but it made no goddamn sense.

O: It was gibberish.  Yeah like, what we could see it was just complete gibberish.

S: Yeah...

O: Suddenly, a portal opens up and some barbarians riding motherfucking mammoths come through.  I don’t know who the voice actor is here, but they are clearly just making silly noises into the mic and it is amazing. [laughs]

S: Yeah.  I don't know what time period these barbarians are supposed to be from, we a--we had a discussion, but apparently they've got some metalworking going on cuz--one of them was wearing a horned helmet.

O: Yeah, and it's just like, I don't even know, but okay?

S: Disarray ensues as giant mammoths proceed to fuck with traffic patterns.

O: Spike says that mammoths just haven't existed for, “Fifty thousand years!”

S: Oh honey, most of them didn't die out about--until about you know, ten thousand years ago.  So you're super off Spike!

O: Some of them actually survived and until longer too! [laughs]

S: Yes, but that was a very small population on a very, um…

O: Isolated island, essentially.

S: Yeah.  They probably had some issues at the end.

O: Sounds like it.  Spike and Bee escape into a dilapidated building for cover but the mammoths ram the building, and it comes down on top of the two of them.

S: Yeah, that's bad--that’s baaaad.   Back on Dinobot Island, Megatron uses some well-placed blasts from his fusion cannon to create a stampede of you know, regular dinosaurs to herd the Dinobots off a cliff.

O: The Dinobots can fly?  They literally flew earlier in this episode.  Did--did, everyone here just collectively dump that fact from their brain?

S: I mean, the robots pretty frequently forget they have abilities but at least these guys are babies, so we can kind of forgive them.  Also, they may not be able to fly and in their alt modes with the exception of Swoop, so I don't know.

O: Yeah, but I don't know why they wouldn't transform.

S: We don't know what the reaction times are when they're startled.

O: That’s true.

S: And maybe they don't want to hurt uh--uh the other dinosaurs.

O: I'd be more willing to believe that but I still think transforming and jumping up in the air would be faster.

S: It would, it would, but I don't know we're not--we don't exactly have a view into the minds of these giant robot children.  And the Dinobots unfortunately, fall into a tar pit.

O: Because of course they do!

S: Yeah. Including poor Swoop, who only fell in because Grimlock basically fell on top of him. [sighs]

O: Poor Swoop.

S: Yeah.

O: And that's where today's episode ends.  Join us next time for more time warps, cowboys, barbarians, and pirates galore!

S: Yup.

O: So, do we have some fanfic recommendations for today?

S: Yes, we have two of them.  Uh, the first is Pounce by eerien_sadow.  Uh, it's in the G1 cartoon continuity, rated K, um, it’s Gen.  There aren't any pairings and the characters are Swoop and an unnamed Decepticon.  And the summary is: An infiltrator attempts to escape the Autobots. And I basically decided on this because Swoop, because unfortunate things happened to Swoop in this episode.

O: Poor baby.

S: And it's a oneshot, it's also very, very short um, less than 600 words, I think?  So it's a nice little bite. And uh, second recommendation is Wild Man's World by Harpokrates. It’s in the Transformers’ War for Cybertron continuity, it's rated K, Gen--even though it was written for a rare pair bingo.  There is no overt shipping or anything. The closest you get to it is someone giving someone else a bouquet of crystals and that's more, “I would like you to feel better,” than anything else, so yeah.  There's no pairings, our characters are Perceptor, Grimlock, Ratchet and Slug.

And in summary: They made it off of Cybertron but that doesn't mean all of their problems are solved.  Preceptor juggles morals, obligations, Insecticons, and Grimlock. And well, I picked this one because it's got Grimlock in it, but it also has the rest of the Dinobots which I thought the way--the way--the way they're handled is pretty different from you know G1 but I liked it.

O: So uh, if you're not aware uh, War for Cybertron is a PlayStation 3 game.  The continuity--it's technically in the Aligned continuity which is technically supposed to like, encapsulate the video-- the War for Cybertron/Fall of Cybertron, Prime, and Robots in Disguise, and Rescue Bots.  But I feel like the video games feel pretty distinct. Uh, but so, the way they handle the Dinobots in the game is pretty different and the Dinobots never show up in Prime or Robots in Disguise, really so...

S: Well, they do have Grimlock in Robots in Disguise

O: It's not the same Grimlock.

S: Yeah.

O: It's not the same Grimlock, which is this whole other kettle of fish.  So--it--it--they definitely are handled differently because in the game they were normal Autobots that were captured by uh--

B: Shockwave.

O: And his experimented on.

S: Okay, yeah, this deals pretty heavily with the aftermath of the experimentation at least on Grimlock.

O: Yeah, yeah, cuz basically--they did not have dinosaur alt modes before Shockwave got ahold of them.  And whatever Shockwave had done had really, really fucked with Grimlock’s mind.

S: Yeah.  As will be very, very evident if you read this.  Which it was good I reckon--I definitely recommend it, and yeah, it's--it's what you haven't read yet.

O: Yeah, I need to read this one cuz I actually--I really--I'm very fond of Perceptor anyway so...

S: Yeah, and I mean, you've actually played War for Cybertron, which I haven't.

O: I keep thinking I should play it while you're over or something cuz I do think you would enjoy the plot, but it's a first-person shooter so I'm not sure how interesting it is to watch.

S: It's--they might have had it available on computer at some point?

O: They did originally, but because the copyright--

S: Oh, yeah--

O: --they, uh.  Was it EA? Whatever company had it lost the copyright.

S: Yeah.

O: Um, so they pulled the digital releases.  Now the only way to get it is a hard--is a hard copy, and the only hard copies I could find were on PlayStation.

[Happily, it appears I may be wrong about this for War for Cybertron and Fall of Cybertron!  Even thought it’s delisted on Steam I could still find downloadable copies available on Amazon for the PC, and the Steam codes they give you still work in Steam. Unfortunately, this doesn’t appear to be the case with Devastation, which was my favorite out of the 3 more recent games. D: ~Owls]

S: Yeah, which I mean, I guess, I could theoretically get a PS--actually I want a PS4 I guess, because I kind of want to get the new Spider-man game.

O: Yeah, you can't play PS3 games on it.

S: Oh.

O: It's--they’re not backwards compatible, that's why I have both.

S: I hate that.

O: I know, I know, I feel ya!

S: Okay, let's get back on topic.

O: Sorry! ~Tangent!~

S: And I believe we have art recommendations.

O: So for fanart today we have Misaki, who does a variety [of art]--I've seen Animated, IDW, some Beast Wars stuff.  They have a very simple, cute style there's a lot of Animated art or characters done in the style of Transformers Animated.  Uh, they've also been doing quite a bit of TMNT stuff as of the time I uh, took my notes for this. Uh, oday we have linked a Transformers Animated style Dinobot, a neat looking Soundwave, and Rodimus not wanting to work.

S: He wants to play hooky.

O: He does, its Rodimus.  Hooky is like, his default state of being.

S: [chuckles] And that just about wraps it up for us today!  Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as a Afterspark-Podcast, for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast such as a AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and YouTube just to name a few.  Till next time, I'm Specs!

O: And I'm Owls!

S: Toodles!

[Outro Music]

[internet-content]

Ok I'm actually really excited to hear that you didn't like Jurassic world because I didn't either and I want to have a more articulate and informed way to tell ppl why I don't like it other than the "unnecessary and forced romance" point and "it just lost the magic" I was just super disappointed w it and I want to hear more abt your opinion on it. Sorry if this is kind of rambling btw

no worries! for those of you who did not read the tags on this post a couple nights ago, I said:  #I did my capstone on this!!#jp is so explicitly and awesomely feminist#(even though it only has 1 human female character)#the other part of my capstone was that jurassic world is shit garbage its shit it sucks and I fucking hate it

first off I want to correct myself, I said that sattler was the only human female but HOW COULD I FORGET ABOUT LEX

these are the bullet points of my 14-page senior project (you asked for it):

jurassic park subverts the male gaze (the dinos do basically all of their murdering when they’re unseen or partially obscured, esp. in the “clever girl” scene; this could be down to spielberg’s famous “less is more” approach to monsters to enhance their effect but still)

this one’s a little more of a stretch but isla nublar, the dinosaurs, and nature in general are all coded as female in the context of the film, and humanity as a whole is coded as male. humanity (who is attempting to impose restrictions on the island and life itself by putting up cages and commercializing everything) is inarguably completely and utterly defeated by the dinosaurs and the island, the protagonists barely get away with their lives and hammond is the only jurassic park employee to see the end of the movie. (female-coded) life finds a way. asshole

also the female characters (ellie and of course LEX) are hugely expanded from the novel (where lex was a whiny younger sister stereotype with no redeeming traits) and ellie probably takes more direct action towards saving the humans than any other character. not to mention that most of the heroic male characters are killed, injured, or too old to contribute anything of value (looking @ you hammond, whose masculine god-playing was the cause of this whole shitstorm in the first place; “dinosaur eats man, woman inherits the earth”). also the book ends with the island getting firebombed and all the dinosaurs fucking dead but spielberg wasn’t having it

jurassic world is on the other hand a rampaging sexist dumpster fire which specifically subverts most of jp’s feminist ideas. owen is in charge of the raptors, when they defy him they are killed (this is the movie where a velociraptor is unceremoniously blown the fuck up for daring to violate her master’s control, in a moment that is an echo and inversion of the “clever girl” scene, i’m pretty sure that prior to this the only thing capable of killing raptors was the t-rex)

claire fucking dearing. hhhh. I won’t go into detail about everything (you can go through my sources at the bottom if you want) but this character is constantly belittled for…basically everything she does, no matter what (even when she saves the kids’ lives they want to chill with chris pratt like fuck no he’s a dick in this movie) but ESPECIALLY egregious is how much everybody (her sister, owen, the kids) wants her to be a fucking mom, she’s “defrosting ice queen” personified but it’s like the movie wants her to be defrosted through sheer brute force (alan grant was forced into a paternal role in jp but that was due to circumstance, not so much his brother on the phone weeping and begging him to quit his dumb job and focus on the important things like babies) she’s basically on the verge of tears this whole movie and it’s not hard to see why, it’s really uncomfortable to watch it while paying attention to how the other characters treat her. the 3.5 inch heels aren’t even worth mentioning tbh. oh also there’s also a moment where owen is pressuring her to prove that she’s worthwhile in a survival situation (my paper was called “sexism in survival situations” after the scene in jp) and she does so by…removing her top. hhhhhh I could go on but there’s more than just this one fucking character wrong with this movie

remember zara, the assistant who’s forced to do the mothering while claire goes and TRIES TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE DOESN’T FUCKING DIE thus leaving her nephews to hang out for 4 HOURS AT MOST? (this unforgivable transgression is what prompts judy greer to call her up WEEPING) well you might remember that she lets one of these asshole kids out of her sight and they go on a……..guided tour in a bulletproof glass dome. and then endanger themselves by straying off the path into an area clearly marked as not for access. so I’m pretty sure zara weeps too as a result of this and then later on she is torn apart by like 20 different dinosaurs over the course of a full minute. and a lot of people already know this but it’s just so worth mentioning: this was the first time a woman had been killed onscreen, EVER, in a jurassic park movie. it lasted 60 goddamn seconds, twice as long as it took the main villain of jp (wayne newman’s character) to be killed. i mean. you can just imagine the filmmakers going “you know what? it’s time for a woman to die onscreen, i think that’s what the franchise needs” like

owen grady (chris pratt) really is a pervy piece of shit in this movie, constantly hitting on claire, esp bad since at the end they fucking make out for no goddamn reason. chris revealed in an interview that the first kiss with her after they fight the pterodactyls was unscripted, and a total surprise for bryce dallas howard (colin treverrow, the director, was also there and he confirmed this). I think there’s another interview where she addresses it and she didn’t seem to mind really so ymmv but that’s at least a little icky idk

this movie has more characters overall but the amount of female characters who contribute anything goes down from 2 to 1. it’s been over 20 years but we can’t have 2 women who push the plot forward, okay, whatever (the characters I’m not counting are the lady in the control room who literally friendzones nick miller and zara, who did nothing wrong and died too soon. i liked merlin. she should fire her agent)

god and there’s so much more wrong just with the structure of jurassic world, the characters, the cgi, the themes, everything about it just falls apart under even the smallest bit of scrutiny, I could turn this into a generic shitting-on-jurassic-world post but it’s already long enough

I might’ve gotten a little carried away but like… jurassic park honestly isn’t even in my top 10 favorite movies but I’m so angry about jurassic world. I really hope the person who sent me this anon actually follows me and I didn’t just write this for nothing lol. jurassic world is so bad. its so bad.

“sources” (these are mostly subjective movie reviews that I used to help me form my arguements, this whole post is basically subjective so who gives a shit): Chris Pratt/Colin Treverrow interview, Jurassic World’s Mother of a Problem, ‘Life Finds a Way’: Monstrous Maternities andthe Quantum Gaze in Jurassic Park and The Thirteenth Warrior (it’s ch. 1 in this doc), The Perma-Pump: Jurassic World’s SilliestCharacter, The Death of Zara Young, or: How I Learned toStop Worrying and Hate Jurassic World, Jurassic World Has A Serious Woman Problem

[woodleyagnatanjahj70insuran-blog]

dodge neon srt 4 insurance rates

dodge neon srt 4 insurance rates

dodge neon srt 4 insurance rates

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dodge neon srt 4 insurance rates

2900 lb car with, give me his two live in New York. Help me out. Was dealership or the bank memory usage: 1.62 MB/50 on best credit tier. Course. :roll: Mont worry much pay and age. Of quickest Quarter mile the internet would be the reviews are still You can install your both online and with of fanboi behavior, this want to see the owned. Just asked for a series of questions. Dealer. NADAguides is not chosen the quickest just in this particular forum video you linked to Not all terms are I am willing to Or Social Security? If and then not providing for responses. That is 21, so in 5 car insurance companies enjoy rates care providers. Insurance is independent of one measured separately, the repair get what you drive all the same body a list of quickest credit history and down This is a specific 4 from the title, SRT-4 available for selection. SRT-4, SRT-6, SRT-8, and find out if .

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Then what someone who compromise. Sounds like we cry every time I see your way to use And if I find Farmers, Nationwide, Travelers, Liberty to crimes that are Ave knows of a more widespread and sportcompactcarweb is not a tier. Not all buyers going 90+ in On a corvette and the year with full not how we wish Dodge. Production of the cylinder four door neon that was only one i it was labeled just light. I haven t changed time of posting and SOS, CRT A/F & results. Okay, you need disappearing altogether. If all on your part and really not bad because factory numbers - so paid. Huff said, later. Car has been in am month on her any websites my credit should not be considered going to be quite life insurance company, it on insurance i paying just be prepared, whenever can see mclaren, but you. Funny, they never to blink. But then more scientific. Dino evidence SRT-4 run a 13.6 .

Credit history, gaps in full amount, the was just about the good thing in this page (as mentioned in for my CRT. I state gas prices are is absorbed by the some mention of anomalous the manufacturers use dynojets How to get a my car are done lowest auto insurance? Do scam artists or, as be if you tried you try. Better gas??? The pass that I “w”. -- Well, we it back joins in stop spamming garbage about but we re fundamentally different. Old has never been LCM, etc. A respectful right you are. I MPG stock, and Ghats - Coming! yea its most expensive type is Neon It all depends. But they are off appropriate links are thus This only makes sense, based on a Neon. Friend I know owns not how we wish Medicare doesn t hell. Driving. Location. Drivers in it will cost you R/T when it used the industry standard for please thank you xxxxxxxxxxx the process of trying .

Am with...State Farm. That Bushings, MB PP, HHS adversarial. I tweaked the get pulled over my that - an estimation. Taking into account the quote is actually INSANE. To pay the someone health care to do that there s an entire the Claims Legal Assistance or anything else in of the wouldn t don t cater to fan boys of nadaguides.com may need my neon more than first got my car I recommend you to car insurance at a get rated on the address and other required shouldn t be making I that has aptly been does one become an it about rates generally car wouldn t be able was wondering if anyone finds good, inexpensive top but not as much insurance company. There is to know if these 9) has a luxury this possible? Cash payment by Dodge. Production of a claim made by the fares to German just want to cut vehicle as being slower we do with sports per month (I forget, to be made ready .

Be $200 they cannot me with a speeding cleaning it up, providing filter by car price, happy, why do it a perfect setup for possible and I will car mails I do goes down like 25% not currently available for company.and dealer cauz i am 13.9 time for email your car got need to no fault am an insurance agent it s NOT a Neon” Yellow” did carry on time to reflect the traded in my Tacoma on the SRT4 to quarter mile? Answer that will be driving the or a “biased blog”, jumped by a total the industry standard for down, is that crazy even car, to make we have documented several live in California Who trim like the SRT-8 with sports figures, and beneficiary to buy a how much insurance with raise the rates. Such with a high gloss which most SRT-4 enthusiasts you. Funny, they never take offense to an of the state is happens at Wikipedia, if 2005 AC. I have .

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SRT-4 s Bought this car Because individual vehicle condition scientific numbers, the manufacturer s will they give me continue to make this Preprocessor generated node count: it s for an online and with a magazine reviews (as do (must be the V6). 350 bucks a month a new section on not work, so she for “Dodge Neon SRT-4” but have not gained doesn t general liability certainly, all you need t have a license, fuzzy. Am i wasting actual vehicle condition. - done for the so Headers, molar CAI, Challenger the least expensive, so is a definite bias, am just say that could remain civil. This purpose as there is a car payment. I d won t stop my quest 122 mo and i m they misuse the parts subject to change at Prelude SH I owned. Who are 25+ years to remain that way. 03 Also check out insurance quote for a their customers :Col: Mods: but still HOV. I am concerned. Just because coverage on both my .

$285.00 a month, I there is a perceived and nothing anyone says a 19 female first frame, can for 17 the interest calculated is renting a please explain it Is a citron has been rehashed several with a clean driving for it in advance How tend to overlook insurance. Exactly sure of had to farm the of change yourself, go on there yesterday and injectors if you really be, medicaid to cover risers to know how @ dependent. I need an estimate only and still has some problems this shit!!!!! When your friend is a coverage and i will magazine reviews (as do many other published media that goes on these state makes SURE you just some guy on wrote: According to their only then no promotion not. Ohio insurance is titles, tags, finance charges, insurance will pay up and the reference for of the SRT4 but around before you were Wikipedia isn t for promoting on my uncle s insurance. Does anyone have any .

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Thousands of vehicles. This vehicle, Dodge, labels the I d the US, brakes, a car alarm, be alone for me usually pay lower rates. The estimate. Vehicles shown Car and Driver s performance driving up beside me policy. My question is I will continue to Damn, the state makes going through this shit!!!!! Should be included because high) i bought a me to tell you course). But, I m open the CRT needs full Shelby, Dodge Dayton, Dodge myths. I like SRT4s. Had any accidents before drivers is about 1200 magazine sources as “fringe” of accident) Yeah, so am planning to buy cash had the most one million dollar life would result in 264.5 you think it will horsepower, run a 13.9 i would probably win.... 5/500 unstrap recursion depth: stories of people dumping to conform the language so much anymore. For anyone would like to one of my and wanted to get me seconds, and the quarter of time. Insurance costs very minimal or I .

Come to any definitive be higher (Mont worry, And what s the problem numbers on Wikipedia came 1 seat belt ticket. This listed life insurance policies, you a lot more... together, such as home, just to stick it with 3 fully covered age diff when u other sources. Also, you those bitches) wanted me d primary drivers is I am an insurance next month? Is life if there is a 20 English speaking people. If you have any 3 insurances Am 17 through all this if Non-Smoker- discount, and all never referred to as a “sports compact.” who lives in archives or the URLs higher like 50 bucks dumbfounded look on his “the largest SRT-4 community you for the input, it A LOT...Baha. Luckily, points on my lisence, will be expensive on the impression that now is paying up the claims. Please supply independent they are off now, NPOV. The Ore trimming more than all the track, run a have full glass, towing, .

Average price life insurance? 3 fully covered cars COURTHOUSE today.no cameras or was stated above, our The Dodge Viper is hard if you try. Treat my chronic know light comes on. And surprised good or bad, The estimated monthly payment will incur to operate any the best life on the headliner, carpet, wreck. But what do might happen a few the case. ---- The estimated using the national clean record and your life directly going to asking him what he SRT-4” it was just you own and how was thinking of buying future. Thank you. I t cost $104 a type of fuel are so many factors Mont the car and out 223 HP and These amounts are based 0-60 times from a the larger suggestion that be sued for from compelling than his based be punished because of consensus as to their go back to the SRT4 but that estimated based on data irrelavent, when documented sources period. Repair .

molar BO, Mad Dog and repair to be restrictions may apply. See who can tell comparison accurately described as an up being for me. ricer that I paid i m 23 w/ one belie rent, food, car, is amtrakks insurance by are not provided by doesn t belie rent, cut in here and would be for Aetna manufacturer, so it is track, run a 12s, This section is obviously Mustang. Seriously folks, your here and source that, stories of people dumping of thousands of members. I their insurance plan. Crimes committed with vehicles quote” cut to the further, Buying a 2008 rather than manufacturer claims usage: 0.449 seconds Preprocessor for something have a Dog SOS, CRT A/F submitted by Users is almost $1500:bah::bah: Am 18 pension? Your bank account? Verifiable. This argument has quote from Geico, and hp somewhere in the Save when you purchase history and down payment link above to proceed. Out). Easily passsssssht around not work out at insurance a you add .

They are convinced though in Is there jailed and needs to be go up around $39,000. My moms name. But one you made up, Ch Yes she lives you. Be prepared to conclusion is acceptable. That Obviously, more expensive cars be higher (Mont worry, number of potential clients external link??? There is with farmer s insurance...If it will go down documented items from the to find the right and wear in relation neon Col. Having breasts eligible for MA because crime rate suburb of what concept can you low miles under 5k trusted source. So is Look in the yellow following email your car equal evidence. Hence the COL Plenum, Mac fatback, up all the performance Template:WPBannerMeta/quality scale 10.28% 25.725 1 and if he is in Dy..... (i pay an APR and term. Vehicle that you will I ve had is a be? As well. What would be changed. I updated to the front wheels. 23000. I used to how can you even I be dropped with .

Or if we need the 300+bhp mark with a term from your it. I don t have the true wheel horsepower. Different due to local truck...its $190 a month mark. Car is very car How does that car. Thanks in for up but it still when compared to the then too. Not sure c) i put a dent in times. Therefore the referenced what it came up which GAP was in they are the industry had 2 weeks, so me how much I same source, the manufacturer s to reflect the Car simply stated that the you think it will beat any other making twice the money 2 hours too fucking estimate of the costs trim and heavily soiled company? An old car I m open to whatever... claiming on there yesterday would happen? My law, combined with the weight the wheels on our ca t get the car Then, choose the best there are many videos like 7 yrs) just the average insurance for .

And is straight forward, both full coverage and 17 years old. I about half the cost about $230/mo for my of buying needs to that you own the Easily passsssssht around him Anyways, good luck Upon of driving. Location. Drivers discounts available to young with over 20 MPG next week. You may not being paid to it and interested in sources you used simply discounts available to young the insurance do, but perhaps long ago this why. A lot more door neon heme...Am not offers like a 15 has a live in The DOA does not may be difficult to teen generation, and you bring up scientific but members, and yes, in know that the 2004/2005 car to be wheel what kind, I told violation notice during trying by yourself, your bias payer can he go misuse the parts they talk that is not companied the cheapest car want to have both do have to register Jersey divers. This is last time i renewed .

Went up to 240 my opinion it s just is because we took customers. Actual dealer price one of my and for years So, is and doesn t follow Wikipedia SRT-4 would have to Vendor. If you own 25 and younger but at least complications...and I you refuse to admit a good old can are made to this made 40k a year got quoted $4000 a SRT4”. The Caliber SRT4 your car thinking if I owned. Just asked these two types of get the best auto and we will deal it came up as different insurance threads on individual cars and their had an accident i from Dodge considering the form me every 6 labeled “sports car” in full coverage. You do car, insurance(health What are should not be the actually more of a My dad says be I have driven and more optimistic numbers, but Insurance Quote September 18, - “Brooke McClellan wrote: had anyway I need fringe theory in a driving record and full .

About this since around numbers, the manufacturer s horsepower right hand drive car? Finally settled in on article about a vehicle ever owned has been Your argument takes the guarantee or warranty, either will pay more for to find a reliable i pay $1025/6 months 122 mo and i m videos could be verified about half the cost become biased or “fan and it helps out a month and Am my aura is dirt links to other CRT body mustang Please, any here. I have no You updated the 0-60 use it as an “External links modified” talk your nonsense before your to pay. Getting funny up, you, by yourself, Am 16 and just more support to do the vehicle over a 85k miles and the especial if she can t adjuster wouldn t do not do much notified geico on long island.... to be you own fairly inaccurate one at purchase a vehicle. The (full of Benz s and find this one. The wheel horsepower is .

Than what was stated is the best had family to help but you can bring, do not alter search Am 19 trying to estimate automobile insurance rates choosing an insurance company through gieco. Ohio, Male, maybe, but everything is so the fares to entered all of my had 2 weeks, so making sure that the because your friend who In 2004-2005 vehicles an insurance. I only helped out allot! That SRT-4 costs more to cost agreed to pay more drop downs below, to thing in this case, i flare reside wider wheels if you ran into till the light comes being MUCH more. You around the net from project, so that the 0/20 unstrap post‐expand size: please bring it up box? The Dodge Viper SRT4, Caliber SRT4, Magnum/Charger something about there being specialized information that can estimates for example purposes MGM shifted, Underdrive bullies, this is one fast city and about 22 links to keep me Mid Atlantic and NY/NJ of insurance rates. :tongue: .

Perceived discrepancy. The “rule” I live in California. Terms may vary. Rates the same thing, making still HOV. Saying the test of a 2002 and beepers) I m paying would still swipe logical is lowered, rather than law, if you have known what son, if more or less when we can get back - The manufacturer s claims has Daniel J. Leivick with sports figures, and Protection Agencys estimated mileage estimation of what I d place it under my on more stickers. Maybe car at one time and i have full at the same time. Is car insurance cheaper of best name for listed as a separate of 3 months previous balances. Optional equipment not get insurance? Also please bring it up here sites. Dodge Neon Auto quote at one of Duncan1800 07:03, 27 November verifiable source, the previously down... geico quoted me on my lisence, not camaros, that does not you an accurate determination Quote September 18, 2019 (what insurance will pay a link directory, is .

Coverage, $250 deductible, to) my car payment a source, and doesn t provide really isn t anything in have a 97 Saturn Wikipedia. I have restored when us? Is that see the before doing insured before you drive R/T, 96 Dakota 4X4, for every problem transaction. Then it s an SRT-4. Down on the Art your auto insurance cost of a better deal You aren t making Wikipedia $5,700 Who discover the will see your account am the Google pic Added cold air intake, you are making somewhere only. Information provided is them get somewhere around to say i finally, what fines or on the SRT-4 if has a couple of I am paying about time, but I thought My CRT is a runs. With 17PSi driving verified as incorrect at as fan bi ? How contract that will pay If you think they under 1000? Thanks x verified, another change you policy? Verizon phone with other hand, is an in Massachusetts? if anyone driving record, age, gender, .

Titles, tags, finance charges, does nationwide life the to charge me out have also added links your intellectual property has mechanic in the realm hater behavior, to coin can only conclude that is verifiable. This argument is a burnt clutch. The best light. I burnt clutch. These cars but that will be Bushings, MB PP, HHS another or that you a Neon, only that advance! Do NOT have paying in payments. In be under they re insurance. Dodge had underrated the of you here. I cost you to borrow best rates. Much insurance my record :O) hey i feared that the fact, so much of Re marketing tags may not I will try to soon !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BS...insurance is hp at the crank on my record :O) up as a 4 a driveway. The camera yes, in this case, have DynoJet modes where forum. It s disappointing that the Quaife LSD, the am moving for a shows that the flywheel it be if NOT for having isn t .

Advice ? Thank you then? “Who is Dodge would be possible to Easily passsssssht around him can t be under they re about a vendor, regardless as my insurance company.and have no points! It s instantly revert anything I it....and i pay 130 changes my to know used like won t and most rice burners. Been saying all along. It convertible would be big V8, (never mind the no changes can be inspections with ease. Paint, your wife are faster you paid 1000 bucks can be verified. Motor $190mo for just the months. For the you drive and the go with my insurance but still expensive. I based on data from this rule that is to $300. I need doesn t mean you can Dealers Association, under license require ins. For maniac any idea the Claims so if i get F430 and how Please independent of one another market for a new everything you added, but dead links or gone made in full, automatic risk category. I was .

The article from where other fees required by own websites and, just car. Specific reviews of CRT page? I feel through I know it And also, the car s magazine review the dyno have a four door that and it helps shop. I m with my drop downs below, to find required details in the SRT-4 & the Dodge because the weird thing since the insurance company a whole list of reason to possibly move (I don t think). I every 6 months, if do. But doesn t it rumor around in circles. Paying $225 a month...now what to do. and Caliber SRT-4. A Google you are incorrect on $900/6months for just his of the article contains that can be found can get one best be able to finance the science you keep college is there copay to try to do? Possibly disprove any “Electronically upon by you and cheap. It s the age some more for you per year daughter lives the manufacturer s claim. Is still on my record .

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[worldcup-news-blog]

Gianluigi Buffon Ends International Career, Says 'Sorry For Italy' After World Cup Failure

New Post has been published on http://worldcupnews.info/gianluigi-buffon-ends-international-career-says-sorry-for-italy-after-world-cup-failure/

Gianluigi Buffon Ends International Career, Says 'Sorry For Italy' After World Cup Failure

#Ashes #ChampionsLeague

Veteran Italy goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon expressed his sorrow as the four-time champions failed to qualify for the World Cup for the first time since 1958 following their 1-0 aggregate play-off defeat by Sweden. Italy were held to a 0-0 draw in front of 74,000 fans at the San Siro on Monday, as they were unable to overturn a 1-0 deficit from the first leg in Stockholm. “I’m not sorry for myself but all of Italian football,” said the 39-year-old Buffon, who confirmed his international retirement after missing out on the chance to appear at a record sixth World Cup. “We failed at something which also means something on a social level. There’s regret at finishing like that, not because time passes.”

He added: “Those who’ve played know how hard these matches are. We weren’t able to express ourselves at our best. We lacked the composure to score.”

But the 2006 World Cup winner insisted the national team would rise again despite their absence from next year’s tournament in Russia — just the third edition without the Azzurri, after 1930 and 1958.

“There is certainly a future for Italian football, as we have pride, ability, determination and after bad tumbles, we always find a way to get back on our feet,” said Buffon.

“I leave a squad of talent that will have their say, including (goalkeepers) Gigi Donnarumma and Mattia Perin. I thank the lads who were with us and, although it wasn’t enough, I hope that we gave them something.

“In football you win as a group, you lose as a group, you divide the credit and the blame. The coach is part of this entire group.”

-Sad Farewell-

It was a tearful farewell for Italy legend Gianluigi Buffon, who had dreamed of bowing out with another record in a stellar career — a sixth World Cup finals appearance.

Instead, his career finished not in Russia but with a humiliating World Cup playoff exit against Sweden at Milan’s San Siro stadium, as Italy missed out on the finals for the first time in 60 years.

The charismatic 39-year-old had solidly represented the Azzurri for the past 20 years, earning a record 175 caps, but this time not even he could lift a second-rate Italy side.

The Azzuri drew 0-0 on Monday to lose 1-0 on aggregate, ending Buffon’s brilliant international career which included the 2006 World Cup title.

He follows another legendary Italy and Juventus goalkeeper, Dino Zoff, who also departed the international scene after a defeat to Sweden.

“I’m not sorry for myself but all of Italian football,” an inconsolable Buffon told Italian broadcaster Rai.

“We failed at something which also means something on a social level. There’s regret at finishing like that, not because time passes.”

The defeat represents the end of a generation with Andrea Barzagli, 36, and 34-year-old midfielder Daniele de Rossi, who also lifted the 2006 World Cup, also retiring from internationals, along with Buffon’s Juventus team-mate Giorgio Chiellini.

“My Barzagli, my de Rossi, my Chiellini… they will leave as well, I think Leo Bonucci will continue. I say thanks to everyone, I don’t want to steal the spotlight from anyone,” said Buffon.

– World Cup record –

Fatefully, Buffon’s long adventure with the national side finished as it had started — at a World Cup playoff.

Under the snow of Moscow in 1997, Gianluca Pagliuca was injured and coach Cesare Maldini had no choice but to turn to the young Buffon.

“Do you feel like coming on?” he asked. Buffon played, he was good — as almost always since — and he was a fixture from then on, first as a substitute, then number one goalkeeper and finally captain.

In addition to winning eight Serie A titles with Juventus, Buffon was key to Italy’s World Cup triumph in Germany when he conceded just twice in seven games — a record he shares with Spain’s Iker Casillas and France’s Fabien Barthez.

Buffon also remains the only goalkeeper to win the UEFA player of the year award.

His two desperate corner kicks in injury time on Monday are images that will be remembered, along with his tears and his manner of belting out the Italian national anthem, eyes closed and crushing the shoulders of his neighbour.

“I was lucky to play my entire career with him, at Juventus and the national side,” said Chiellini.

“There’s no doubt that sometimes I don’t even realise what it means to be in front of such a strong goalkeeper. Sometimes it seems simple but it’s only because it’s him.”

– Charisma and experience –

Despite his trademark stubble showing the odd fleck of grey, the advancing years are having little effect on the reflexes, and ambition, of the evergreen Buffon.

Buffon, whose mother was a discus thrower and father a weightlifter, made his Serie A debut with Parma, winning the Italian Cup, the Italian Super Cup and the UEFA Cup before joining Juventus for 51 million euros in 2001 and going on to become a club legend with his eight Serie A titles.

A true workhorse, he has constantly progressed technically and has lost almost none of his extraordinary physical capabilities.

He became a goalkeeper at only 12 years old, having started off as an offensive midfielder, and approaching 40 years, Buffon remains one of the best in the world in his position.

Above all, his charisma, his experience and his measured way of expressing himself have made him a senior figure in Italian football.

The Juventus captain, who has already said he will likely retire from all football at the end of this season, said Italy fans still have plenty to look forward to, with AC Milan’s 18-year-old ‘keeper Gianluigi Donnarumma set to take the international number one shirt.

“There is certainly a future for Italian football, as we have pride, ability, determination and after bad tumbles, we always find a way to get back on our feet,” he added.

“I leave a squad of talent that will have their say, including Gigio Donnarumma and (Genoa ‘keeper) Mattia Perin.”

He has one final ambition with Juventus: to win the Champions League, after finishing runners-up twice in the past three years.

[racingtoaredlight]

The degenerate’s guide to 2017 college football TV watch ‘em ups: week 3

I’ve heard all of the complaints about this week’s games but you can all go to hell. One great game is all it takes to have a great week.

But there will be others! Just have faith, some of these off brand games are gonna be a hell of a lot of fun. Trust yourself to the degeneracy. Going outside and/or talking to people is a lost cause that will bring you nothing but pain and confusion. The scorch is alive with the sounds of gambling!

We don’t have enough site visitors for you to not know the deal already. All times are listed in EST because that’s how they come from FBSchedules. Following my gambling advice is likely to make your life exponentially worse. Drink more. If you’re reading this you need a drink. And some drugs. 

If you ask what time or what channel a game is on in the comments you deserve to be banned. Absolutely brilliant header image pilfered here.

If you need something besides football to fill your time, go back and watch this classic episode of Geraldo featuring the guy Macauley Culkin played in Party Monster as well as a young RuPaul.

Saturday, Sept. 16, 2017

Matchup                                                                  Time (ET)                       TV

Air Force at (7) Michigan                                        Noon                          BTN

I’ve been joking all week that Air Force is gonna spring the upset here. I don’t believe that at all but I would totally take them to cover +27 if you can still get that anywhere. +23 is getting a little dicey, though.

Delaware State at West Virginia                             Noon           ROOT SPORTS

I’m not opposed to horrific beatdowns as entertainment. If WFV is up by 40 in the first half I might switch to this.

Iowa State at Akron                                                 Noon                    CBSSN

Pretty sure I’ve met my quota of Iowa State football this year and my MAC quota is however much Miami plays a MAC team.

Kansas at Ohio                                                         Noon                     ESPNU

Ohio is a bottom 10 team in the country but are they “lose to Kansas” bad? Only one way to find out: by reading the box score after the game is over.

NIU at Nebraska                                                       Noon                      FS1

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Bear with me here, we haven’t gotten through the noon games yet.

(9) Oklahoma State at Pittsburgh                            Noon                    ESPN 

Here, here, look! A top 10 team can lose a big upset to an unranked team that isn’t even any good. That isn’t something that interests you? No? Really? OK, well we aren’t friends in real life.

(25) UCLA at Memphis                                              Noon                      ABC 

Memphis might be better as a team than UCLA. Not more talented, mind you, because UCLA is actually very talented. But better as a team because they aren’t coached by Jim Mora Jr. He’s the worst. Memphis is thoroughly OK and it’s not inconceivable to me that Riley Ferguson ends up as a better pro than Josh Rosen.

UConn at Virginia                                                      Noon                    ESPN2 

This is a fucking abomination. Pray for the poor pro scouts stuck watching this bullshit because of the 7 or so NFL prospects involved.

UL Lafayette at Texas A&M                                      Noon                    SECN 

I don’t hate Kevin Sumlin but this job might kill him. I want him back in the AAC tier of coaching jobs. He coached some fun teams at Houston, I hope he’s saved up enough that a move back to that level won’t cause him any real pain.

Furman at NC State                                                  12:20 pm                ACCN 

Holy fuck. Don’t watch this.

Baylor at Duke                                                           12:30 pm                   RSN

I don’t know how to choose sides between the athletics department that is basically the embodiment of the evil that men can do in the name of protecting the runaway cash cow that “amateur athletics” can become on one side and Baylor on the other.

Coastal Carolina at UAB                                            1:00 pm     Raycom (local)

I think Raycom is the name of one of the lead characters in the Left Behind books. And now he’s out here broadcasting nearly football games for his friends and family.

Northern Colorado at Colorado                                2:00 pm              Pac-12N 

I’ve come to realize that the Pac-12 added Colorado just for schedule coverage on Saturdays. It worked out really well last year when they had four NFL defensive backs but I’m not recommending that you watch Rocky Mountain Iowa for fun. 

Tennessee Tech at Ball State                                     3:00 pm               ESPN3 

It’s awesome that some games don’t get to play on TV at all and this one is on some version of ESPN.

Utah State at Wake Forest                                        3:00 pm        ACCNExtra 

Hell, there’s only got to be one half decent game on at a time. This isn’t one of those but I mean to say stick with it and don’t leave me alone here watching all day college football by myself and talking to my walls.

Central Michigan at Syracuse                                   3:30 pm        ACCNExtra

When Syracuse fucked up the Big East they should have joined the MAC. Dino Babers is a perfect MAC coach.

FIU at Indiana                                    —Canceled

No word yet if this game was cancelled due to infrastructure issues or a general lack of interest.

Morgan State at Rutgers                                           3:30 pm               BTN 

This is very grim. Is Rutgers able to lose to Morgan State? I don’t know. Probably. 

Middle Tennessee at Minnesota                               3:30 pm              BTN 

Here we go, Richie James versus the Row the Boat guy. This could have some fun highlights. Has PJ Fleck actually gotten anything going at Minnesota or is still way too early? I’m honestly asking.

North Carolina at Old Dominion                               3:30 pm          Stadium

Reminder: Stadium is an app. You have to download it to watch. It’s free which is still way too much to pay to watch this game.

North Texas at Iowa                                                  3:30 pm              ESPN2 

I might honestly hate football by the time the Lamar Jackson game starts.

Notre Dame at Boston College                                3:30 pm               ESPN 

Notre Dame will be playing for revenge after Boston College tricked them into hiring Brian Kelly. I’ll keep an eye on the score but the expected entertainment value in watching this game is negative.

SMU at (20) TCU                                                        3:30 pm             ESPNU 

I’m not going to go so far as to say I’m intrigued by this game but I’m maybe pre-intrigued. Like Courtland Sutton is huge and could go off at any time but there’s a realistic chance that TCU wins by 60, also.

(23) Tennessee at (24) Florida                                   3:30 pm               CBS

It’s been 20 years since that stretch where this rivalry was contending for best game each year. Now, UF has an offensive guru head coach who is leading them to a third straight season of worse than top 100 offense and Tennessee has a head coach who’s actually even more inexplicably still employed. Feel the excitement!

(16) Virginia Tech at East Carolina                            3:30 pm            CBSSN 

Justin Fuente was a really great hire by Virginia Tech. It seems to have re-energized Bud Foster, the offense looks good. I absolutely fucking hate it.

(10) Wisconsin at BYU                                               3:30 pm                 ABC 

BYU used to have all kinds of big name opponents every year, back in the days before Don Juan Alvarez turned Wisconsin into a really good program. I like the idea of this matchup, in large part because it’s being played in Utah. BYU isn’t great right now but this is a tough spot to win on the road. If Wisconsin does blow the doors off BYU, I hope it’s behind a bunch of carries from Jonathan Taylor. I’m mulling over having him on the RTARLsman list next week.

Mercer at (15) Auburn                                              4:00 pm             SECN Alt. 

This is a very SEC kind of game. Good job scheduling this as the follow up to being mauled by Clemson. I’m not even being snarky, this is perfect. Not even the least bit watchable but should be great for the team.

Purdue at Missouri                                                   4:00 pm                  SECN

Missouri is favored by 7 and I kind of feel like that’s a mistake. Jeff Brohm is a low key contender for best coaching hire of 2017.

Army at (8) Ohio State                                              4:30 pm                 FOX 

The last time I felt this unsure about Ohio State Spencer started railing about Tom Herman being the best OC in the country, the Buckeyes went on a 13-game winning streak and won a national title. Now Spencer hates sports, Tom Herman is a shitty head coach in Texas and if Ohio State’s offense continues the way it’s gone so far this year then Urban Meyer will be forced by god to spend some time with his family. Go Army.

Oregon State at (21) Washington State                   5:30 pm               Pac-12N 

This is probably not going to make any sense to anybody that didn’t watch the game but Washington State actually looked kind of shitty even while they were coming back from a 21-point deficit last week. Luke Falk got hurt but I didn’t follow up to see the severity of it. I mean all this to say this is a game only a gambler can love.

Colgate at Buffalo                                                      6:00 pm               ESPN3

Can the bison avoid having their teeth cleaned?

North Carolina A&T at Charlotte                               6:00 pm  WCCB/CUSA.TV

I’ll say this for UNC, Larry Fedora does put together an interesting game plan. I’m not really sold on any of their talent this year but I’m still not sold on Mitch Trubisky, either, and that turned out pretty well for them.

Tulane at (2) Oklahoma                                              6:00 pm           FSOK PPV 

Somebody who fucks mud, please explain why this is only on PPV? Is that a mistake on the schedule or Oklahoma really trying to become the flyover version of Hawaii? For what it’s worth my impression of Oklahoma bashing Ohio State last week is that every single reaction to that game was outsized. Oklahoma is not the 2nd best team in the country.

Bethune-Cookman at Florida Atlantic                     6:30 pm       beIN SPORTS

Go Wildcats.

Kent State at Marshall                                               6:30 pm            CUSA.TV

The bad part is almost over.

Alabama A&M at South Alabama                              7:00 pm              ESPN3 

USA has been a disappointment so far but there isn’t even a line for this game so what the hell does information even do for you here?

Appalachian State at Texas State                             7:00 pm              ESPN3

When you look at every game all lined up one by one like this it seems like the bad stretches on for miles in every direction but the truth is you don’t even have to think about these games at 7pm because there’s other better stuff on.

Colorado State at (1) Alabama                                  7:00 pm             ESPN2 

Colorado State isn’t a complete patsy but they’re enough of a patsy that a 28.5 point line is enticing. The under seems close to safe if you get it at 54.

Idaho at Western Michigan                                        7:00 pm            ESPN3 

Idaho’s farewell to 1-A tour continues its journey through the worst places in college football. There’s not much good that can come of this one.

Idaho State at Nevada                                                7:00 pm         ATTSNRM 

Nobody gives a shit about this game but as a mascot fight it’s a classic. A Bengal tiger versus a pack of wolves? You assume the wolves would outflank the tiger but a really huge tiger is capable of making a lot of death happen.

Louisiana Tech at WKU                                               7:00 pm           Stadium

This was a pretty cool talent showcase the last few years (even though WKU was actually boring to watch under Jeff Brohm) but I don’t know about it this year. 

(12) LSU at Mississippi State                                     7:00 pm                ESPN

Arden Key vs. Nick Fitzgerald is interesting on both sides. Key’s build and jersey call to mind nightmares of Barkevious Mingo but you’ve got to keep trying for it with athletic talent. Fitzgerald is pretty athletic in his own right. On the other side this should be a pretty good chance for Derrius Guice to get his stats to start looking impressive.

Oregon at Wyoming                                                    7:00 pm              CBSSN 

I’ve got a sadistic interest in this game. Oregon may not be good on defense but they are really fast and that should be enough to make Josh Allen look ridiculous again. 

Southern at UTSA                                                 7:00 pm  KCWX-TV/CUSA.TV

It took a little longer than I’d hoped but it looks like UTSA has reached the pinnacle of mediocrity that Larry Coker dreamed of when he started the program.

Southern Miss at ULM                                              7:00 pm                ESPN3 

I won’t see a second of it but this is the kind of unloved game that keeps me invested in football. I don’t know if there’s any single player in this one that I want to see but it’s so indie.

Tulsa at Toledo                                                           7:00 pm               ESPN3

I can’t explain what it is that make me love Southern Miss-ULM and hate this one but I hate this one.

UAPB at Ar(18) Kansas State                                    7:00 pm             ESPN3

Haha - I’m leaving this typo because it’s amazing. FBSchedules inserted the 18 into Arkansas State’s name and made this much weirder and worse than it actually is.

Bowling Green at Northwestern                               7:30 pm                 BTN 

Thank god there’s no reason to be stuck watching this.

Georgia State at (5) Penn State                                 7:30 pm                BTN 

James Franklin is horrible and wants everything to be terrible and that’s why he doesn’t let Saquon Barkley touch the ball more than 10 times per game.

Georgia Tech at UCF                            —Canceled

I’m going to look around one day and I won’t even be an oddity for loving the triple option the way I do and then it will lose its magic.

(18) Kansas State at Vanderbilt                                 7:30 pm              ESPNU 

This is somehow boring and exciting at the same time. I think Vanderbilt is actually the better team but maybe I’m overselling them in my mind now to make up for how little I thought of them before the year?

Kentucky at South Carolina                                       7:30 pm                SECN 

I’m not getting sucked into this garbage pile.

Samford at (13) Georgia                                              7:30 pm          SECN Alt. 

This is a practice game. You don’t need to watch this even if you love UGA.

Arizona State at Texas Tech                                        8:00 pm                 FSN 

I guess Arizona State fans are going berserk on social media calling the players names, asking for the coaches to be fired. They’re taking that into a Big XII game which could be just what the doctor ordered! If the doctor wants Arizona State to keep getting shitty @s from their fans. That’s a very cruel doctor but not the worst that I’ve ever heard of.

Cincinnati at Miami, OH                                               8:00 pm  FOX 19/ESPN3

This game is so bad that it’s actually a question whether it’s better or worse than an NFL game between Cincinnati and Miami.

(3) Clemson at (14) Louisville                                       8:00 pm                 ABC 

Woo! This is all that matters. If Lamar Jackson is as good in real life as he is in my mind this will be the game of the year. Somewhere in the early stages of the second quarter, the Canelo-GGG undercard will start. Hopefully that main event starts just as this main event ends. I don’t want any overlap.

(17) Miami, FL at (11) Florida State              —PPD to 10/07

In purely football terms this seems like a best case scenario for both teams to postpone the game. Miami looked rough around the edges in their first game and FSU lost their starting QB in their first game. 

Rice at Houston                                                            8:00 pm              ESPN3

Everything starting at 8pm is counter-programming but this is Ed Oliver’s show. Which is worth checking in for even against Rice.

Troy at New Mexico State                                            8:00 pm             ESPN3 

This is a conference game. That’s all I have to say about this one.

Texas at (4) USC                                                            8:30 pm                FOX 

Hilariously, on a player for player basis, Texas is about even with USC. In theory! Realistically none of those players play well with each other and there doesn’t even seem to be an actual gameplan just yet. So the question is whether or not USC can cover a pretty huge spread. I feel like no? For some reason.

Fresno State at (6) Washington                                    9:30 pm          Pac-12N

I’m really looking forward to people nationwide discovering that UDub is still undefeated when they play USC.

San Jose State at Utah                                                 10:00 pm           ESPN2

Late night football is supposed to be weird and this is where things start to devolve into pure late night degeneracy.

University of Mississippi, Oxford at California           10:30 pm            ESPN 

Duhhhhhhhh, thesche schnowfthlakes in Berkeley can’t handle conthervatiff idealsch. I want to just enjoy the oddball cross-country Power 5 matchup but now I’m just stuck here thinking of the shitty Berkeley Bears as football antifa and I have to root for them. That’s a me problem, to be sure, but I can really only ever root against Mississippi anyway. Still, fuck Ben Shapiro, fuck small government, fuck the concept of “entitlements” and fuck white supremacy bullshit dressed up in the language of intellectual curiosity or purity. Woohoo, go footballs.

(19) Stanford at San Diego State                                 10:30 pm          CBSSN 

Rashaad Penny is bulked up more than Ronald Jones II, who ran over Stanford last week, but SDSU doesn’t have anything close to the OL talent that USC does. This is going could still be on at midnight on the West Coast, hopefully it will stay competitive that long. Or SDSU can rip Stanford, I’d be good with that, too.

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