#and kakashi overhearing that and being like… confused

[vi-visected]

how do i make anbu!kakashi and anbu!hara argue like immature little shits at any given opportunity while also making it realistic for them to trust and rely on each other as squadmates. how the everloving FUCK do i balance that dynamic.

[jacksgreysays]

I'm not sure I've ever told you about the idea, but I did end up getting permission to write a poly Kushina/Minato/Shikako for UnexpectedSensei!Verse. It's been a while since I thought about it though. Have you read UnexpectedSensei!Verse? If so, do you think I should go the funny/crack route or the serious route?

There's this specific version of the song "Still Here" that's Nightcore (but it hits different), and it's giving me serious UnexpectedSensei!Verse Shikako vibes. It's created this incredibly unlikely scenario where the initial candidates for Hokage are decided by some artifact or something playing super epic AMVs of those worthy, and Shikako shows up like the dark horse she is when Sarutobi is looking for a successor. If that makes any sense.

Unsure if these asks were directly related--it would be interesting if they were, but I'm guessing not--but I decided to bundle the answers together anyway, if that's cool.

First, I have read UnexpectedSensei!Verse and very much enjoy the series! It's one of my favorite DoS recursive series and truly contains the perfect amount of serious blended with Shikako's I am seemingly omnipotent and omniscient to everyone else but so blasé about it that it reads as funny/crack.

A poly Kushina/Minato/Shikako for UnexpectedSensei!Verse does sound like a fantastic idea! It kind of hearkens to... and I apologize for how CONSTANTLY I am self referential about these things... the spirit of this extremely short ficlet I wrote in which Kakashi overhears Shikako basically imply that had he bothered to learn fuinjutsu from either or both of Minato and Kushina then so many of his life's tragedies would have been avoided. I mean, but less Kakashi self-blame oriented of course. The spirit behind it being that Shikako, Minato, and Kushina would be an absolutely OP triad of mischievous genii, but with vastly different personalities and thought processes who maybe don't always agree but nonetheless respect (and eventually love) each other.

I may need a link for that nightcore "Still Here," lol.

I think an artifact--or maybe, to lean into that whole... Hidden Leaf and the mysticism of Mokuton, it's an ancient semi-sentient ginkgo tree--that decides the next Hokage or at least generates a report (whether that is in the style of an epic AMV, lol) or something that significantly contributes to the decision of the next Hokage is also very fascinating.

Like, this is a little reverse of what we're going for, but in the show Trese, the main character undergoes a coming of age ceremony by entering an ancient balete tree and basically receiving a vision, but it appears to take YEARS before she comes back out. Which doesn't seem to surprise people. So, it could be something like:

current Hokage (in this case the Sandaime--or, if we don't want to deal with him, we could just say, "person who is potentially deciding on the next Hokage") enters/touches/kneels before the secret semi-sentient ancient tree that lives inside the Hokage mountain somehow or whatever

person speaks a potential candidate's name --> tree gives a vision of whether or not they'd be a good Hokage (perhaps in the style of an epic AMV--I mean, ideally we're looking for cool inspiring hero, but even villains and tragedies have epic AMVs, you know? You can still be entertained even while knowing that person probably shouldn't have control over a military dictatorship)

repeat as needed for however many potential Hokage candidates there are

at end of person's list, perhaps the secret semi-sentient ancient tree offers their own suggestions

perhaps the secret semi-sentient ancient tree, being so ancient and mystical, isn't beholden to time and so doesn't really know how time works for mere mortals

perhaps the secret semi-sentient ancient tree, has been continuously showing an epic AMV of Shikako to EVERY PERSON who has asked for potential next Hokage candidates and is confused as to why it is CONSTANTLY being ignored only for it to FINALLY be given the name Nara Shikako and it's like... YES! THIS IS THE ONE! YEAH! I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THIS WHOLE TIME! HERE!

Anyway, thanks for the asks, aryaokayfriend! I know these were pretty short responses, and squished together, but I hope you got some fun out of them :D

[beneathstarryskies]

Could I request a part 2 of the squirting headcanons? 🥺 this time, could it include Naruto, Neji, Lee, Sasuke and Shikamaru? If you'd rather, I'd also be happy with Tsunade and Orochimaru 😘😘 love you sooo much

One day I am gonna meet you in person, and I'm just gonna kiss your forehead because I'm in awe of your big brain. 🥺

Find part one here!

Naruto

Let’s get this out of the way: Naruto has ridiculous stamina. He can fuck you and make you cum so many times you’re crying from how overstimulated and sensitive you get.

 Naruto is super excited when he feels your walls clenching tight around him, and he knows you’re about to cum so hard on his cock. 

However, he is confused as fuck when you squirt on him. He’s soaked from your arousal. Honestly, at first, he might even make you feel a little embarrassed about it. 

He’s gonna stop mid-thrust with his eyes wide, “What the hell was that?”

You gotta explain it to him, both of you blushing like crazy as though you weren’t in the middle of fucking seconds earlier. 

Once he understands, he’s gonna so smug about it. Definitely is gonna brag about it to Sasuke, which Sakura overhears and knocks him over the head for. 

Naruto is definitely going to make it happen all the time, he loves it so much. Not just because it feels incredible to him, but because he knows it feels amazing to you too. 

Definitely keeps count of how many times he’d made it happen in one night. 

Neji

Neji planned this. He read about it in a book and decided he had to make it happen. 

The problem was, you weren’t expecting it. You noticed Neji was fucking you harder than usual, and seemed to have a purpose behind it. He was doing everything to make you cum as often and as hard as possible. 

Your eyes are rolled back as he begins pounding into your mercilessly, an orgasm building in your core. It’s so strong. You can tell this is going to completely wreck you. 

Your clench around him so tight he’s sure he’s gonna cum right along with you. Neji’s thighs are soaked, the sheets are soaked. Thank goodness he pulled his hair back before getting started. 

You’re gonna be the one like, “What the fuck was that?” 

Neji will explain it to you, with a little bit of a smug smile on his face. He’s absolutely down to try it again, but if you’re not he’s okay with it. 

He’s super proud of himself and thinks about it a lot when he’s away on missions for a long time. 

Lee

Lee’s stamina is rivaled only by Naruto’s. He can go for hours and hours, and with his drive to be the best at everything it’s gonna be a good time. 

 That being said, when you soak him in your juices during a particularly intense orgasm, he didn’t know what happened. He assumed it was a good thing, because you seemed pretty pleased. 

He was too embarrassed to ask you. So, he asked Guy instead. 

Guy didn’t know either. So he asked Kakashi. Kakashi’s soul left his body. He was not prepared to explain squirting to Guy. There’s a lot of things Kakashi can endure, but that was not one of them. 

So, finally, Lee just...Asks you. He’s so bashful about it because what if it was a bad thing? What if you’re embarrassed? Worst of all, what if you never want to fuck again? 

He is so relieved when you explain to him that it’s actually a good thing, and super pleasurable. 

“So, what you’re telling me is that I’m the best at sex?” 

Sasuke

Sasuke knows your body like the back of his hand. It doesn’t take him long to push you over the edge, and he can do it multiple times. When he learns about squirting he sees it as an interesting challenge. 

He knows it takes a lot of patience and some vigorous work to achieve. So, he has a plan. From the moment he starts, he’s telling you how he’s gonna make you squirt all over him. 

Sasuke goes down on you for ages, making you cum over and over with his tongue and fingers before he actually starts fucking you. 

Then he’s merciless from the start. His hand is on your neck to hold you down as he pounds into you with a purpose. 

When you squirt all over him, he doesn’t stop fucking you. He just keeps pounding into you until you’re crying from the overstimulation. 

Sasuke is super into it, by the way. He’s always trying to push himself (and you) so he’s always keeping track of how many times he’s made it happen in a night. 

Shikamaru

Shikamaru is an expert at making you cum super intensely. He knows your body inside and out. Squirting is not something he’d do on purpose usually. 

He’s made it happen many times on accident because if he’s super frustrated or angry, he tends to take it out on your cunt. There’s nothing that relaxes him more than being buried deep inside you and just focusing on getting you both off. 

When it does happen he is very smug about it, “Oh, you like this cock so much you can’t even control yourself?” He’ll rub your clit as he keeps pounding into your cunt, working you towards doing it again. 

“I guess you want to make a mess,” he’ll goad you as he brings you to the edge of doing it again. 

He likes the little stroke his ego gets from making you cum so hard, and knowing nobody else could get you off so effectively. 

[actuallysaiyan]

Kakashi x Reader with the prompt: While laying in bed, the two of them can't help but overhear their upstairs neighbors going at it rather loudly. Person A turns to Person B after a while, and asks, You wanna fuck louder than them to establish dominance?.

It’s a lazy Saturday afternoon, and you and Kakashi are lying on the bed. Kakashi is deeply entranced by Icha Icha, and you are just flipping through some old fashion magazine. It’s quiet and relaxing. Neither of you have plans for the day and it’s a nice feeling.

Kakashi sighs in relief as you lean against his shoulder. He wraps his arm around you and places a gentle kiss on your forehead. You both feel so relaxed right now.

Just then, you hear a thump from above you. Both you and Kakashi are confused, but you just chalk it up to your upstairs neighbors dropping something on the ground.

It’s silent for a few more moments, and you and Kakashi are relishing the silence. It feels nice to not have any responsibilities for one day. Kakashi hums affectionately as you reach up to play with his hair.

Then, you hear it again. Another thump followed by a loud wailing noise. Kakashi looks at the ceiling with a puzzled look, and you’re just as confused.

“Do you think they are okay up there?” Kakashi asks, placing Icha Icha on the bedside table.

You shrug, “Who knows? They are a little odd, aren’t they?”

Kakashi laughs and kisses you softly. He loves how funny you are sometimes.

Then the wailing sound continues, and you both recognize it as moaning. Kakashi smirks as his eyes land on you. You aren’t sure how to react to any of this right now. It just seems very odd for the couple upstairs to have sex. They are so weird and don’t even seem like they are truly in love.

“So, this is how they decide to spend their afternoon?” Kakashi asks, and you shrug once more.

“I guess so,” you groan in annoyance.

There’s a mischievous glint in Kakashi’s eyes that you almost miss. He leans in to kiss you, and you can feel the want radiating from him. There’s also something else going on, but you can’t pinpoint it right now.

“I was thinking,” Kakashi says after pulling away from the kiss. “Want to fuck louder than them? We could establish dominance this way.”

His words hit you right in the core. You squeeze your thighs together as Kakashi kisses you once more. His tongue slides into your mouth as your fingers tangle into his hair.

“I’m going to take that as a yes,” Kakashi says confidently.

“Fuck yes,” You straddle him, and he pulls you by your hips to guide you onto his lap.

Kakashi kisses you once again, biting and sucking on your lower lip. You can feel him buck his hips upwards, making the wetness between your thighs grow.

“Kashi…” you moan as he begins nipping at your neck. His hands are on your hips, but they soon reach up your shirt to play with your nipples.

He starts to pull on your nipples, but your bra is definitely in the way. He unclasps it and throws it across the room, which makes you giggle.

Kakashi lifts up your shirt and carefully helps you out of it. With your tits on display now, Kakashi leans in to suck on one of your nipples.

“Ah!” You cry out, which makes Kakashi smirk against your skin. He wants the neighbors to hear you. He wants them to know that he fucks you better than they fuck.

“Are you ready for me?” Kakashi asks, and you just nod. Your head is swimming with lustful thoughts. You’re almost breathless and there’s a dusting of pink on your cheeks.

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard,” Kakashi says while sucking on your bottom lip. He bites it hard, making you cry out.

“That’s my girl.” He flips you over, and he pins you to the mattress with your wrists above your head.

“Kashi, please…” You beg, but he shakes his head.

“Louder, baby.” Kakashi is loving this now. He loves being able to dominate you, but also to prove a point to someone as well.

“Please fuck me!” You wail as his free hand slides down your abdomen and unbuttons your jeans.

He chuckles as you whine so eagerly for him. It’s making him so fucking hard. Every little whine and moan that comes from you makes his cock twitch. He’s barely able to hear the neighbors anymore.

His hand slides into your panties as he starts to rub your clit, and you are trembling slightly. You whine loudly as Kakashi presses his fingers hard on your clit.

“You are so wonderful,” Kakashi mutters as he leans in to capture your lips in a heated kiss.

It doesn’t take long for Kakashi to start pulling down your pants and your panties. Once he sees your glistening core, he can’t help himself. He leans down to taste you.

“K-Kakashi!” You whine very loudly now. You tug on his hair, and Kakashi grunts.

“You taste so good,” Kakashi mutters against your skin as he continues to lap at your wet cunt.

He’s so hard. The way you’re mewling is making it so hard not to just bottom out in you right now. He wants to make you cum so hard, you scream so loud.

“Please, Kakashi…’need your cock,” you whine as he sucks on your clit. The way you’re looking at him is proving to be too much.

He stands up briefly to strip in front of you. His body is so well toned, and with all the scars and the ANBU tattoo, you are always so turned on by the sight of him.

Kakashi climbs on top of you, and he spreads your legs. You’re panting as he teases your slick folds with his fat cockhead. You can barely form sentences at this point.

“You better be loud,” Kakashi says as he plunges deep inside of you. It’s so sudden and so thick and your walls are stretching…

“FUCK!” You cry out, gripping onto him as he immediately starts fucking you hard. He wasn’t lying when he wanted to establish dominance.

Kakashi doesn’t let up with his quick pace. It feels really good, and you can feel your orgasm creeping up on you so quickly. You continue to cry out at the top of your lungs, making Kakashi smirk with every harsh thrust.

Your walls are clenching around him, and Kakashi can feel his own orgasm building up. He’s grunting and groaning, matching your every sound. You’re both in heaven right now as the bed squeaks and the headboard slams against the wall.

You’re sure that all your neighbors can hear you now. Kakashi spits on his fingers and rubs your clit in little circles. You’re mewling and begging him not to stop, and Kakashi is grunting as your pussy is pulsing around him.

“Gonna cum for me?” Kakashi asks, and you just nod.

“Gonna cum...gonna cum baby!” You yell as you can feel your stomach tighten.

Your vision cuts to white as you see stars. You yell out Kakashi’s name as he continues to thrust hard into you. He’s grunting loudly now, and it’s just making your orgasm that much more intense.

“I’m gonna cum!” Kakashi cries out as his cock throbs deep within you. He pumps you full of his hot cum.

The next time you both leave your apartment, you both laugh at the note left by your neighbors. It just reads ‘you win’.

[youcancallme-ray]

The Missing Fang AU  Part 1 - The Mission

How Sakumo got the mission and how it went...

Sakumo had just dropped Kakashi off at the academy when an ANBU, one of the Hokage’s personal guards, summoned him to report immediately for an important matter. He doesn't waste time jumping over roofs, instead, he shunshin directly in front of the Hokage tower and runs up the wall.  

Nobody stops him when he climbs in through the window, inside are six men, the Hokage, Councilman Danzo, and four other Jonin he can’t place. Hiruzen informs him that there was a mole somewhere in Konoha, who leaked important documents to a specific contact in Suna. he is to lead the mission to retrieve the documents, before the specific seals on the scrolls can be broken by Suna’s intelligence division. 

Something about the whole thing sends off a warning bell in the back of Sakumo’s head, but he is a loyal soldier to his Kage, and he bows and accepts the mission. He thinks he sees councilman Danzo smile, but he ignores it as a trick of the lighting since that man is incapable of ever being pleased. Sakumo had figured that out when… Well, that’s a story for another time.   

The mission itself is relatively straightforward. Go and steal information from this one person and then kill him on your way out. The problem is that it is deep in enemy territory. It can’t be done solo, too dangerous, so they assign Sakumo a team. He’s never worked with these particular men before, but he is given a quick brief over their skills. 

One is a sensor, the second is an expert at camouflage and genjutsu, the third is short range combatant, and the fourth is a former ANBU who spent years on an extended mission in the Land of Wind. Sakumo himself is the team leader, a tracking and all-round combat specialist, with tactical experience. 

The team should have been perfectly suited to the mission, but halfway to Suna, they get ambushed, and Sakumo is confused because shouldn’t the sensor have sensed a dozen shinobi hiding under the shifting dunes? 

Five Suna nin herd him away from his team, he kills them all, but realises that the others got captured. This confuses him further, because he had already killed two before being separated, so the battle should have been 4 vs 5. The ones who ambushed them were high level chunin or maybe tokubetsu jonin at best judging by their skill, his team had a former ANBU and three senior Jonin. 

So there he is, in the middle of a desert, trying to decide what to do. Abandon his team, or abandon his mission, which is the better choice, which is the choice he can live with. Which is the choice that won’t end with his futile death. 

Sakumo decides he'll do neither. He’s been on suicide missions before, and during the Second War he did crazier things. Like slaughtering the only son and his wife of Chiyo of a thousand poisons while on an off the books mission that may or may not have pushed the terms of the peace agreement. Suna has a kill on sight order for him anyway, he’s remained persona non grata even after the Second War ended. He supposes he might as well piss them off even more. 

He sends the smallest and fastest member of his summoned pack to track his team, and finds that they've been imprisoned somewhere outside the village's border. 

He waits till nightfall, then sneaks into Suna. It's a bit troublesome, but he sends one of his wolves with plenty of explosive tags and distracts the Suna nin in the area enough that he is able to get inside their offices and get what he needs dealing it in a large storage scroll, giving his target a clean and quick death. 

He overhears that most of the Suna nin present in the village are scouring the desert looking for him. A bit overkill in his opinion, but at least it makes sneaking in and out of the village easier. 

Then, he makes his way to where his team is captured, and with some smoke bombs, his entire pack howling like feral mad animals and some theatrics that make him look scarier than he is, he dispatches the guards and frees his team. 

The other combatant is injured and unconscious and the former ANBU ends up being the one carrying him, while the sensor takes the genjutsu specialist with a broken leg on his back. Expert genjutsus from the specialist keep them mostly hidden, while the desert storm picking up on their heels handles their scent. 

They break out in a free run across the desert, but end up getting cornered an hour away from the border by a border patrol on high alert. Again the sensor fails to warn them and leaves Sakumo to wonder if he pretended to be a sensor or is he just extremely bad at his job. 

Sakumo gives the storage scrolls to the sensor and tells the former ANBU to lead the rest back to the village, and that he’d cover their backs. 

And he does it spectacularly. Over the years, Sakumo had not only honed his already present Lightning and Earth release, he’s also gotten a good command over wind and water release. He makes a hurricane. It takes a lot of chakra, almost exhausting him completely after the solo rescue mission he’s just pulled off, but it’s flashy enough for him to sneak away and enter the Land of Fire.  

[randomized-ice]

Time to imagine and write down Hokage Iruka headcanons bc I love this too much to let it go~

Naruto realizes that being Hokage isn’t for him bc he’s more of a fighter than a desk worker

Kakashi really thought he was gonna get to retire as soon as Naruto was ready. Lol nope

Paperwork and stuff is not for Kakashi AT ALL. He hates being stuck at a desk. He was born a FIGHTER not a HOKAGE. Just let the man beat up enemy nin :(

One day, he’s walking around reading icha-icha when he overhears a peculiar conversation

It’s Iruka, and he’s chatting with Anko. But what caught Kakashi’s attention is that he’s talking about what he would do if he was Hokage.

Kakashi decided to listen in bc the man has no social skills at all and realized that Iruka was actually pretty well-versed in shinobi rules, scrolls, and did desk work 80% of the time.

Kakashi did some research and realized that Iruka actually did embody the Will of Fire. The demon inside Naruto killed Iruka’s parents, yet Iruka cares for Naruto more than anything. When Iruka realized he had been neglecting Naruto’s feelings, he apologized, shared his feelings with Naruto, and risked his life for Naruto, protecting him from his best friend. When put between the choice of protecting a child and running away with his best friend and becoming powerful, he chose Naruto. He chose the Leaf Village. Iruka taught the younger generation, and cared for every one of his students, spending time with them if they needed it, even if he had work to do. He loved everyone, was polite, and refused to abandon the Leaf Village, even though it was the same place that hurt him so much as a child. But he was actually a very confusing person. He was a ruthless prankster, yet he gave everybody his heart and soul. He had been hurt by people he trusted (Mizuki), but he continued to love everybody. Chunins are usually disregarded as weaklings by jonin and many others, yet everybody liked to spend time with Iruka. Insult the babey and you’ll have four ANBU teams ready to commit homicide. Iruka made people feel human.

Iruka was the perfect candidate. But due to recent and past events, Kakashi knew Iruka had a small grudge against him. After all, he did put his genins in danger in the chunin exams, even though Iruka who probably knew better protested. Then Sasuke ended up running away, and Sakura and Naruto were mentally scarred. Iruka had always been slightly passive-aggressive with him after that. And if Iruka disliked Kakashi there was no way he would accept the Hokage position. Plus, teaching was his passion.

But Kakashi went anyway bc the sooner he could chidori the living jesus out of opponents, the better.

When Iruka got the news that he was the best candidate for Hokage that Kakashi had ever met, to say he was surprised was an understatement. He nearly exploded from confusion, happiness, and outright confusion. 

Iruka agreed to take on the Hokage role, but with a twist. He still taught at the Academy. Now, this was a huge twist. Hokages usually didn’t interact with children as much during their time in office. But Iruka was determined to keep his teaching job. He loved his kids.

The people of the Leaf Village were confused to say the least. Most of the Hokages were super powerful, but Iruka was just a random teacher. Some people disagreed with Kakashi’s decision, while others thought it was great that they had a Hokage that wasn’t super powerful. It showed that ANYONE could be Hokage, and you didn’t have to kill God to do it. You just had to be a decent person.

When Iruka was sworn in as Hokage, he promised that he would do his best to make the village safe and fair for everybody. But the biggest surprise was when Killer B himself came, and spoke about how Iruka would be a great Hokage, and that he didn’t need to be a Leaf shinobi to know that. Iruka was surprised about that too. (Remember that fist-bump scene? Because I sure do)

Iruka actually kept his promise. He made things better for orphans, strengthened Konoha’s defense system, made sure everybody in ANBU and Konoha had access to therapy, made sure to extend the Academy’s teachings to more subjects so you didn’t have to be a ninja, refused to send children on the front lines of war (COUGH COUGH), fixed the economy, and was still able to teach his students.

Iruka Umino is one of the best Hokages in history, bc he saw everything going on in the system, and changed it.

When his face was carved on the mountain, Naruto immediately pulled one of his old pranks, and Iruka personally chased him down just like old times.

Iruka got his own special ramen dish at Ichiraku’s and he loved it so much.

I’m writing a fic about this. I need it. Hokage Iruka is L I F E.

I honestly don’t know if this is what @agentr104 meant but I needed an excuse to write this. Also, I hope y’all know that I do take requests, I love seeing other peoples thought processes <3