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winterscaptain · 4 years

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advocate.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader a joyful future fic

a/n: the very first part of ajf! the beginning of our story! oh my goodness! this got a little long, but there was a lot i wanted to pack in here. thank you all for your patience as i worked through this <3 i’ve got some fun graphics in here for you - open them for best quality!

words: 8.45k warnings: language, alcohol use, canon-typical descriptions of injury and violence, mention of suicide

summary: “our ambition should be to rule ourselves, the true kingdom for each one of us; and true progress is to know more, and be more, and to do more.” - oscar wilde. au!july-september 2007

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | requests closed!

“Director Shepard?”

You approach her, feeling very young, with a question and a smile.

She turns, smiling at you softly. “Yes?”

Her lecture was immaculate - she covered a broad swath of topics - being the first female director of NCIS, her history in international relations and liaison work with British and Israeli intelligence - all of which paved a bit of a roadmap for success in federal law enforcement.

You introduce yourself and shake her hand. “I’ve gotta tell you it was a challenge to choose between agencies in my applications, I admire your work both as an agent and director of NCIS and I was wondering…”

You lose your nerve a bit, but steel yourself again and ask.

“... Would you be willing to meet with me and talk about your career trajectory a little more?”

There’s a light in her eyes as she studies you with a kind of supreme benevolence and gentleness. “I would.”

+++

“Alright,” she says, setting her napkin in her lap. “What do you want to know?”

You laugh a little, “Is everything a good place to start?”

She laughs, and you’re immediately drawn to her warmth. There’s a kind of fire in her, and it doesn’t just come from her hair. “Not at all. Though I’ll give you some unsolicited advice now, to save some time. Find someone you can follow, someone you can learn from.”

She goes on to tell you about her mentor, still on the Major Case Response Team under her purview at NCIS. Though she’s his boss now, she tells you that she still goes to him for advice, for friendship.

“Trusting the people you work with always comes first. It’s not always possible, but when you can manage it. It makes everything better. Always protect them where you can, and don’t ignore the politics”

You do everything except take notes as she tells more stories, how she’s switched from “probie” to Agent to diplomat to Director, before she turns back to you.

“Do you know which unit you’re interested in, yet?”

You shake your head. “Not yet. I’m hoping I’ll have a better idea when the Quantico unit chiefs start coming in to lecture. I’m hoping one of them will catch my interest.”

“Great idea. When one of them does, give me a call. I think any unit could benefit from someone like you.”

+++

Agents Hotchner, Morgan, and Gideon have your attention the moment they step into the room. They’re confident, with a sharp kind of intelligence you admire.

The world of the BAU is fascinating. Serial killers, sex criminals, the very worst of depraved humanity is their everyday. While it sounds somewhat horrifying, it compels you.

Agent Hotchner especially catches your attention. He’s confident in a kind of serious, bladed way. Clearly intelligent, he commands the attention of everyone in the room and effortlessly wields his authority among curious students and his fellow agents.

You’d think Agent Gideon would be the obvious leader, what with all his years of experience and seniority, but even with his grasp of a field he shaped, he doesn’t hold a candle to Hotchner.

With your half-hour-old knowledge, you put together a quick profile of the remaining figure.

Agent Morgan, while strong and clearly an alpha male, brings a skepticism with him. It hangs in the air around him and seems to apply to both of his colleagues. There’s something about Agent Gideon that makes him uneasy, distrustful. He tends to shift his weight away from him when they get too close to each other.

He’s not overt about his skepticism regarding Agent Hotchner, but you get the idea there’s more under the surface you couldn’t possibly know just by studying his behavior in a lecture hall.

This is fun.

You hide your smile in your notebook, jotting down a couple of notes as Agent Gideon continues his “brief overview of profile-driven serial killer arrests.”

+++.

“Director Shepard’s office.”

“Hi Cynthia,” you greet her secretary. “Is Director Shepard in?”

She connects you, and you ask about the BAU.

“Is Jason Gideon still the unit chief over there?” She asks. You can already hear her typing and you’re more than a little concerned about her tenacity in this moment.

“No, ma’am, it’s Agent Hotchner, now.”

“Perfect.”

+++

+++

You’re called into SSA Radner’s office the following Monday to “discuss some changes to your academy courses.”

That doesn’t sound good.

SSA Radner, an imposing and intimidating woman, is the SSAIC in charge of your NAT class - the person in charge of your collective fates.

No pressure.

She opens the door when you knock, gesturing to the chair on the other side of her desk. “Please, have a seat.”

You chuckle nervously. “Thanks, Agent Radner.” You note her little smile as she sits at her desk, and chance a question. “Have I done something, I dunno, wrong? We don’t seem to find much good news in the SAIC’s office at my rank.”

That pulls a laugh from her. “I wouldn't worry too much. I have a proposition for you. It’s...unusual, but not unheard of.”

Your brow crumples a little and she exhales.

“It might actually be better if - yeah. Hold on.” She clicks her intercom and her assistant chirps from the other side.

“Yes ma’am?”

“Please send them in. I’d like to do a joint briefing.”

Joint briefing? What is this, the third invasion of Iraq?

The door opens behind you and you whip around, finding Agent Hotchner and IOS Section Chief Erin Strauss.

What the fuck?

Either you’ve done something terrible or insane and you’re not sure which.

Chief Strauss addresses you first, shaking your hand. You introduce yourself for good measure but have a feeling she already knows who you are.

“It’s come to our attention that you have ambitious interests and are taking exceptional steps to make the most of your education and training at the academy. Is this a fair assessment?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Agent Hotchner steps forward, sort of looming over you with something that isn’t quite a stern look. You take his hand when he offers, introducing yourself and ignoring the jolt of energy that shoots up your arm at his touch.

His handshake is firm, his hands dry and warm. He looks different up close, younger, maybe. There’s the barest touch of grey at his temples, the beginnings of lines around his mouth and eyes.

Not what I expected.

What did you expect?

How old could he be? Thirty-five, maybe?

Shut up.

He’s handsome.

Shut up!

His face relaxes a little bit before he speaks. “Director Shepard, a close professional colleague, has been a staunch advocate for you and your talents. She approached me about taking you on, giving you case hours in lieu of some coursework.”

“You’d have some catching up to do, as it’s already three weeks into your twenty, and we’d transfer you into the profiling classes,” Agent Radner adds. “But with your diligence, I doubt you’ll have trouble with the added workload.”

“No, ma’am. That should be fine. But,” you look between the three of them, “what does ‘case hours in lieu of some coursework’ mean, exactly?”

“You’d be on assignment with the BAU until you received your formal assignment following successful completion of the academy, with the possibility of assignment with the BAU as a full-fledged agent.” Chief Strauss rattles off the information as if it’s the thousandth time she’s said it.

It might be.

You can’t even fathom how much effort and time must have gone into this decision. The realization leaves you speechless.

She prompts you again. “Does that sound like an opportunity in which you’d be interested?”

“Oh, yes, ma’am.” You feel a little stupid, but you’re rewarded with a proud smile from Agent Radner.

You could also swear you saw a twitch of Agent Hotchner’s lips, but he doesn’t seem to be a man who smiles much.

+++

“So this’ll be your desk,” Agent Jennifer-but-my-friends-call-me-JJ Jareau says, pointing to one of the many desks in the bullpen.

You set your bag down with a little smile, feeling more than a little overwhelmed.

Agent Morgan pats your shoulder as he passes your desk. “You’ll do just fine, kid. Ready for a case briefing in ten?”

“Sure.”

His blinding smile eats up his whole face and you like him already. He’s different than you thought he’d be, but you still don’t think your preliminary profile was too far off.

Agent Gideon, still holed up in his office, has yet to acknowledge you.

Your eyes keep wandering to the open blinds, behind which Agent Hotchner and a woman you understand to be his wife have a quiet, apparently heated argument on either side of his desk. Except for the tight set of her mouth and the angry glint in her eye, she seems lovely.

Derek follows your gaze. “Wasn’t always like that.”

You look at him, a little furrow in your brow.

Should he be telling me this?

“She’s not always here either, but their son, Jack, has been sick, so it’s been… tense.” Derek shakes his head. “You wouldn’t catch me married in this job, not once.”

That pulls a laugh from you.

Emily, sitting at the desk beside you, turns in her chair. “Remind me to drink to that later.”

Derek snorts and picks up a couple of files, headed up to the round table room.

+++

Your first case briefing is, well...brief. The case seems fairly straightforward and you run through relevant vocabulary while JJ outlines the case details.

Preferential offender, keeps his victims for no more than three days, victims found in public places.

He wants them found, and fast.

Need-based, maybe? What are his priors?

You’re all dismissed with a brisk, “Wheels up in thirty.”

You pack your things a little slower than probably called for. Hotch disappears into his office again, closing the door behind him. When you pass the window, his wife is tucked under his chin.

Hotch’s eyes flicker to yours and you quickly train your gaze on the floor, hustling down the stairs.

+++

You land next to each other when you board the plane. You do your best to avoid taking anyone's assigned seat.

With a team of this size, you can only assume they have such things.

And they do.

Gideon, Spencer, Morgan, and Prentiss take a seat at the table while JJ perches on the arm of the couch.

Hotch settles at the informal “head” of the table, leaning on the chairs across the aisle. You take a seat in one of the chairs in the row next to him, trying to stay out of the way.

“C’mere, kid,” Derek says, beckoning you forward. “You’re on this team.”

You shuffle forward in your seat, leaning forward with your elbows on your knees and case file open in your hands. “I’m ready.”

JJ smiles at you, and you almost feel comfortable.

+++

You end up alone with Hotch in the precinct conference room after you land, unboxing files and sorting them for Spencer. Until you know enough to make yourself useful, you’ve made it your mission to handle the tedious and the clerical.

Hotch pauses every once in a while as if he wants to say something. You continue on your way. When he’s ready, he’ll stop you.

“I’m sorry about earlier. My wife, Haley, she -”

You look up, waving him off with a little smile. “It’s okay, Hotch. It’s none of my business.”

He looks at you for a minute, studying your face with a bit of a squint. “You mean that.”

It’s not a question.

You’re confused.

“Of course.” A nervous laugh leaves you. “I mean, you’re welcome to tell me if you want, but it’s nothing I need to speculate or gossip about or, God forbid, profile.”

The shock and relief war on his face until it settles back into something that looks like his usual severity, but a little softer. He doesn't say anything else, but you have the sneaking suspicion you passed a test neither one of you prepared for.

Spencer and Emily return from their trip to the medical examiner’s office.

“Who organized these?” Spencer asks, pointing at the neat piles you made.

“Me.” You look up from another box you’re working on. “Would it be helpful if they’re sorted another way? I went chronologically and then by number and type of offenses, with preferential offenders that match the M.O. on top, when possible.”

Emily, Hotch, and Spencer freeze, staring at you like you grew another head in front of them.

You’re suddenly and violently self-conscious. “What?”

Spencer snaps out of it first, shaking his head and picking up a stack. “Nothing that’s just...um…”

“Exactly right,” Emily supplies. She glances at Hotch before looking back at you. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Hotch is the last to break, but the curious little glances he keeps throwing your way always linger a little too long.

To your credit, you ignore them.

+++

“So, how are you liking it so far?” Derek slides into the driver’s seat and rolls out of the parking lot.

You’re headed to another witness’s house under direct orders to observe and as a few (carefully directed) questions. Derek insisted on bringing you himself while the others keep busy with something else.

“I’m liking it,” you reply.

He laughs. “Coulda fooled me.”

You screw up your face and look over at him. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” he says through a laugh, “when you’re not making yourself ridiculously useful, you look terrified.”

“I am terrified.”

“Nothin’ to be scared of as long as you keep asking questions,” he says.

It’s almost like he doesn’t know how ridiculous he sounds.

“You’re joking, right?” You turn to face him, shifting in your seat. “Agent Morgan -”

He cuts you off. You’re pretty sure that’s just how he is - he interrupts the other members of the team frequently and fearlessly. “- Derek. Or Morgan.”

“Fine. Morgan, you have to know that your team is legendary. I don’t even know why -”

“- Don’t say it.” He flags his hand before putting it back on the wheel. “You’re here for a reason, and none of us are going to let you fall so hard you can’t pick yourself up, okay?” He glances over, meeting your eyes. “We’ve got your back.”

You quirk a smile. “Thanks.”

“And,” he adds, “Hotch seems to like you alright. That’s half the battle.”

“What’s the other half?”

He snorts. “Gideon. And local law enforcement.”

+++

You settle in a little easier after that. JJ’s your next target as you help her make some calls to the D.A.’s office.

You hang up and take a breath, slumping back in your chair. It’s been a long day already and it’s not even lunchtime.

“Hanging in there?” JJ asks, smiling at you over her files.

You nod. “Yeah. Just a… different kind of energy than the academy, I think.”

“I felt that way when I got here, too. Gideon was unit chief back then and Spence had just started, too.” She huffs a laugh. “It was a little easier when there were more newbies, but then…” Her face clouds over and she shakes her head.

“Then...what?”

She looks up at you and her mouth twists. “Boston.”

+++

“Hey, Derek?”

“Yeah?” He keeps his eyes on the road, but he can hear the trepidation in your voice.

The dark interior of the car feels safe in the early hours of the morning, headed back to the hotel. “You said I could ask you anything, right?”

His eyebrows pinch. “Shoot.”

“What happened in Boston?”

Derek takes a breath and lets it out in a whoosh. “I wasn’t there. I was supposed to be there.”

You wait on him, watching him watch the road.

“Unsub holed himself up in a massive warehouse. Gideon called in all the support he could - A Team, B Team, SWAT, the whole nine. I was visiting my mom in Chicago for her birthday like I do every year.”

He stops at a red light, and you take a moment to look past him into the adjacent SUV, where Emily and Hotch’s profiles rest in a statuesque silhouette, backlit by the streetlamp.

“It was a trap from the start. Everyone pushed in on Gideon’s order and the whole thing just…” He tosses his hand up and it lands with a smack on the leather steering wheel. “It just went up. Boom. Six BAU agents in our unit, dead, just like that. Had to rebuild from scratch.”

You shiver, though the car is warm. “I’m so sorry, Derek.”

He shrugs. “Gideon took six months off, Hotch took over. Gideon came back, Hotch stayed up front.” He smiles a little. “Haley wasn’t happy, but that’s the job.”

Why does it always come back to Haley? To Hotch?

Because he’s the unit chief.

I know but…

Don’t read into it.

You decide to push, just because it’s Derek, because he seems to know, because you feel safe with him, because it might be a mistake. “Is that what you meant?”

“Hm?” His head turns just a little toward you, his brow furrowed.

“You told me on my first day ‘It wasn’t always like this.’ Is that what you meant?”

“No sane man would take on the unit chief position with a wife and baby on the way.” He shrugs and with a secret little smile says, “But nobody ever accused Hotch of being sane.”

+++

Aaron sits in front of his computer, the end of his pen tapping on the glossy wood of his desk.

Does he have feedback? He’s not sure.

Even with your limited knowledge, you’ve managed to optimize most of the administrative bullshit and political nonsense that clogs most local investigations. You bounce between acting as his shadow and JJ’s, making friends and soothing hurts when toes inevitably get stepped on.

You’ve immediately adapted to his style of criticism and correction, using Derek and Spencer as guide-rails when you’re not sure where you’re going.

There’s nothing to complain about.

But then again…

Feedback isn’t just about the negative.

If he’s honest with himself, he knows he won’t shower you in the glowing praise you deserve. Gideon never did for him or anyone that came after.

It’s not in their nature, or his.

He starts to type.

Glancing out his office window, his eyes find you hunched over your desk, poring over one of Spencer’s notebooks, a pinch in your brow as deep as the Grand Canyon.

You work hard, impossibly hard. You throw everything you have at your work in the field while managing your courses and keeping up with your classmates.

That in mind, he drafts an email to Jenny.

With a sigh, he sends it.

He’s still thinking of what you said on the last case, the genuine truth of it, and how many times he has done his best to preempt the gossip that plagues this office, no matter who it’s about.

This unit, as much of a family as it may be, constantly wraps itself in the business of everyone else. To know you couldn’t give less of a shit about his marriage when the rest of the team (save Gideon) probably has money on when Haley calls it quits is, admittedly, refreshing.

+++

After being in the field, classes take on a new kind of banality. You’re keeping up well enough, but watching Gideon and Derek quarrel over the details of a profile beats diving into the techniques - you guessed it - Gideon developed from cases past.

Hotch and Garcia were gracious enough to CC you on emails while you were grounded at the academy, but it wasn’t the same.

It was hard not to feel left behind, like the last kid chosen for dodgeball in PE class, watching the rest of the unit leave the office. You hung back in the bullpen as long as you could find something to do this morning, making it to class at the very last minute.

Even after lectures, your classmates want nothing more than your attention. You’re suddenly consulting on three different practicals and never have a lunch to yourself.

Most afternoons, you sneak into the bullpen just for some peace and quiet.

You hear your last name and look up, finding Erin Strauss approaching you. You stand. “Ma’am.”

“What are you working on?”

You look down at your desk, finding practical and theoretical exam notes shuffled around next to mock consults and other nonsense Hotch dropped on his way to the jet earlier in the week. “Course work, mostly. It’s nice to… get away every once in a while.”

Erin nods with a little smile. “I’d imagine you’ve been pretty popular lately.”

You shrug, a little facetious. “You could say that.”

She pays your shoulder in a surprisingly maternal gesture, before wishing you luck and leaving you to your work.

At this point, you can’t even imagine just being an FBI agent.

+++

You’ve just closed your burning, tired eyes when your phone rings.

You answer, your last name a grumble into the mic.

“It’s Hotch.”

You sit up straight in bed, immediately awake. “Sorry, sir, I -“

“I should apologize. I don’t mean to interrupt your studying or wake you but I think I could use your opinion on this profile.”

You frown in the dark, flipping your desk lamp on. “My help, sir?”

“Yeah.” He heaves a sigh and you can almost see the fingers pressed to the bridge of his nose. “I’ve been looking at it too long.”

“Maybe Derek, can -“

“No. You. Here, listen -“

He rattles off the details of the case and you snatch your notebook and pen off the desk, jotting things down as Hotch continues through the case.

“Have you identified and contacted local individuals who fit the victimology, taken steps to protect them? He’s a preferential offender with a predictable cooling-off period, right?”

For some reason, this isn’t half as exhausting as the practical exam practice you’d been working on for the last five hours. You may or may not have written those exact questions about fifteen times, but it’s far less exhausting when directed at Hotch.

“Yeah. Two high-risk victims are in protective custody and JJ’s been in touch since this morning.”

You go through a few more basic questions, getting your feet under you, before asking the one you’re really after.

“Sir, why did you call me?”

“I needed another set of eyes.”

You huff a laugh. “No, I gathered that, but why did you call me? I’m in the middle of learning about something you’ve been doing for…” You search for a number, but your brain is fried.

“Too long,” he supplies.

“Sure. But my point stands.”

“That it does.” Something creaks in the background and you imagine he’s leaned back in his chair.

“Did I help?” You’re happy he can’t see your dubious, if not entirely doubtful, expression.

He’s happy you can’t see the little fond smile on his face. “Yes, actually. You did.”

+++

“Wheels up in thirty.”

You all stand from the table and start your routines. Emily and Spencer make a beeline for the coffee machine while JJ jets back to her office for contact sheets and files and all manner of coordinating materials.

Derek’s routine is simple enough - he already has his coffee and his go bag, so he’s answering a few emails before wheels up.

You never really know what to do during this liminal space, so you stick to classwork.

Much to your surprise, you’ve shot ahead in your classes on the shoulders of Derek and Spencer. They’ve been monumentally helpful with the history and application of profiling techniques (though much of Derek’s advice has been ‘just watch Gideon,’ you’re not sure how to watch a process that takes place entirely inside the man’s head).

You ride with Hotch to the airstrip, looking out the window most of the way. It’s only a five minute drive, but the tree-lined roads around Quantico are always lovely this time of the morning.

As always, you do your best to stay out of the way on the plane, taking up residence on Hotch’s right with your notebook and case file.

You offer some thoughts here and there, not pushing too much or saying enough to make an ass of yourself.

When Hotch calls break, the rest of the team scatters to their respective corners.

Gideon turns to you, gesturing with one finger. “Hey, ah…”

Spencer chirps your last name from across the cabin and you shoot him a grateful smile.

“Good job in the briefing, today.”

And with that, he disappears to the far side of the cabin, leaving you and Hotch alone by the table.

“Wow,” you say with a little smile. “I didn’t know he was aware of my existence.”

Hotch doesn’t say anything, but his lips twitch.

Success.

+++

“Welcome back, kiddo!” Derek offers you fist and you bump your knuckles against his on your way back to your desk. “How’d those exams go?”

You huff, playing at defeat. “Oh, you know.”

“Don’t worry about it. There’s always next time.”

Hotch, returning from a meeting with Strauss, hardly looks up from the file in his hand when he says, “Well done on your exams. SSA Radner threatened to hang your marksmanship targets on her wall.”

You hide a smile. “Thanks, Hotch.”

“Not fair!” Spencer says, tossing another Tums in his mouth. “I never passed those.”

“Then how on earth do you have that, Reid?” You point at his six-shooter, still clipped to his hip.

“Wait wait wait,” JJ says, dropping her files and crossing her arms. “You haven’t heard that story?”

Your eyes flicker from Derek, to JJ, to Spencer, and back. “...No.”

JJ settles in, regaling you with a wild tale of an L.D.S.K. -

“You remember what that stands for, right?” Derek points at you and you have a feeling this is about to become some kind of pop quiz.

“Yeah. Long Distance Serial Killer.”

“Good. Famous unsubs include…?”

You sit back in your chair with a little smirk on your face. “D.C. Snipers Muhammad and Malvo, active October 2002, seventeen victims total. Apprehended by agents from the FBI Baltimore field office -”

Derek holds up a finger. “And?”

“- and the BAU and the Maryland State Police.”

“Good.”

JJ waits for Derek to nod at her and she continues what you imagine to be a rather embellished version of a story in which Hotch and Reid save the day.

“...And then Hotch just starts kicking the shit out of Spencer -”

Hotch’s office door shuts and he sails down the stairs with one of those little secret smiles. “This one ends with Reid stealing my sidearm and shooting the unsub in the head.” He taps right between his eyebrows in the barest of pauses on his way out of the bullpen. “Dead center.”

Derek and JJ groan, both whining about how he ruined the punchline before devolving into a fit of giggles. You can almost see the smirk on his face as he pushes through the glass door and turns the corner.

You join in the mirth, ruffling Reid’s hair. He smiles widely at you.

Maybe you could just get used to this place.

+++

The second round of classes on top of added case hours (you’re traveling with the unit more often than not) nearly brings you to the brink.

On the plane back to Quantico, you realize you can’t remember the last time you actually had a full night of sleep.

The rest of the unit is out cold, curled into themselves or stretched out under blankets, save for Hotch and Gideon.

Gideon’s writing in that wretched notebook again, entirely focused on his work under the weak reading light.

Aaron sits beside you on the other side of the cabin, looking over a few files before returning home. You watch him check his watch, sigh, shrug, and pull out his phone. To your surprise, he doesn’t move to give himself space as he calls his wife.

“Hey, honey, it’s me… Yeah, we’re on the plane. Should be back within the next hour and a half... “

He sighs and tightly closes his eyes. “Haley, please… Yes, I know Jack’s already asleep… Are you implying I didn’t do my damnedest to - Then what’s your point?...”

His voice never once rises above a low murmur. It’s impressive.

“I’ll be home as soon as I can… No, I won’t pass ‘Go’ or collect two-hundred dollars or step foot into my office… Yes. Plane. Tarmac. Car. Home… Yeah… Love you too.”

He snaps his phone shut and leans back, tipping his head against the headrest.

You stay quiet, continuing your review of S.S.A. Bailey’s course on, ironically, conflict de-escalation.

Hotch takes a talking breath and you look over at him, keeping a kind of soft understanding on your face - really, shooting for anything that isn’t curiosity.

“I appreciate your…” He looks for a word. “Discretion.”

You laugh a little down your nose. “How many times do I have to tell you it’s none of my business?”

“How many times do I have to imply that a phrase like that isn’t in the vocabulary of this team, usually?” He shifts a little, and you notice his thumb, running along his forefinger like he’s searching for bone.

“Is it really that bad?”

Hotch raises his eyebrows, and you relent.

“Fine.” You drop your voice. “Do you want to know what I’ve seen?”

He shrugs. “An outside perspective might be nice.”

You keep your eyes on your book as you speak, keeping your volume low and your tone as neutral as you can.

“I’ve seen how Emily worries about fitting in - I can’t help but relate. This team is a family and it’s… hard to break through that sort-of-wall to the outside world.”

The prickly feeling of his eyes on you isn’t altogether unpleasant, but you still haven’t grown used to it.

“Derek and Spencer are worried about Gideon and,” you glance at him briefly, “so are you. Everyone seems to want to know why, but I don't think that’s always useful.”

Hotch hums once, maybe in agreement - you’re not too sure.

You are sure, though, that this was a test.

“How’d I do, Counselor?”

It’s never too early to invoke the J.D. hanging in a frame behind his desk. It was the first thing you noticed and suddenly, a lot more made sense.

You’re rewarded with a small smile. “Not bad. Though you did forget to drop in the little bit about my marriage.”

“I didn’t forget,” you assure him.

“No?”

“No. I figure if you have something to say, you seem like the kind of person who’d just say it. At least,” you shrug, “that’s my impression.”

He’s quiet for a minute before he squints and looks over your shoulder at your reading. His brown eyes track down the page before returning to yours. He’s close to you, but you’re not uncomfortable.

Hotch is...safe. Somehow.

“There’s a reason you’re the exception. Not sure what it is yet,” he says. “But there’s a reason.”

“What?”

He leans back, a cryptic little smile on his face, and says nothing else for the rest of the flight.

+++

“Hotch, are you sure it’s not a trick question?”

“The questions aren’t designed to trick you,” comes a voice from the doorway. To your surprise, it’s Gideon. “They’re designed to stretch and reveal your instincts. No right answer.”

The corners of his mouth turn down while his eyebrows rise in that kind of halfway-encouraging look he sometimes gets. “Just go with your gut.”

He disappears and you turn back to Hotch, scribbling away in a file.

“He’s right.”

Your brain feels less and less bound to your body as the days pass. “Am I nuts, or is that the most words he’s strung together since I got here, combined?”

What you now know to be a smile twitches at Hotch’s mouth. “You’re not nuts.”

You sigh and turn your attention back to your mock exam, twiddling your pencil between your fingers. “I’m sorry to keep bugging you with homework - it feels like cheating.”

He pulls his phone from his pocket. “Resourcefulness is not cheating. If it was, I’d have to go back and get my J.D. out of a Cracker Jack box.”

You muffle a laugh.

He checks his watch. “I have a check-in with the budget office in five minutes. You’re welcome to stay right where you are, but it’ll be boring and I plan to do a lot of pacing.”

You hold your hands up in surrender and settle in.

Friday afternoons in the office feel a lot like Saturdays in the office - which is to say, nothing happens at all. The rest of the team is catching up on paperwork while Gideon walks laps with his little notebook.

Not three minutes into his conversation, Hotch stands and begins to pace, as promised.

"No, we can't cut the technology budget... Because if the BAU gets called to a remote region, we need to have immediate access to satellite phones and our technical analyst… Yes… Send the budget to the Director, and I'm certain it'll come back approved without changes… The arrest and prosecution rate of this unit is -”

His desk phone rings and he gestures for you to pick it up.

“Agent Hotchner’s office,” you say with more than a little trepidation. You’re definitely not qualified to answer the unit chief’s phone.

“Goddamn it, Aaron why can’t you -” She pauses. “Wait. Sorry. Who is this?”

You introduce yourself. “I’m currently on-assignment with the unit. It’s… unconventional.”

“Hm. Why are you answering Aaron’s phone?” Her tone isn’t accusatory - it’s more curious than that. You’d imagine this doesn’t happen all that often. He’s either at his desk, or he’s not at his desk.

She calls him Aaron.

You’re not sure why that surprises you. They’re married, and he has a first name.

Taking a look across the room, you watch Hotch’s profile as he continues to defend the budget he submitted.

Aaron.

You make an attempt to see the man behind the suit, the man who goes home to his wife and son when he can.

“I’m using his office to study for my academy exams. I’ll see if I can reach Agent Hotchner for you. Just a second.”

She snorts something that could be a laugh if it wasn’t so sharp. “Thanks.”

Hotch looks over and squints at you, mouthing, Who is it?

You put her on hold and answer in a stage whisper. “It’s your wife.”

Hotch freezes for just a second - it almost looks like he’s rebooting.

He blinks three times in rapid succession before he pulls the phone away from his mouth. “Tell her I’m in a meeting. I’ll call her back.” You move to reach for the phone but he holds up a finger and you freeze. “Wait two minutes.”

You follow instructions, taking the time to answer a few more mock exam questions. You try not to think too hard about his avoidance. This doesn’t seem like a particularly pressing phone call - Hotch is in budget meetings all the time.

None of your business.

After about a minute and a half, you pick up the phone again.

Before you can say anything, she’s already back on her mini-rampage. About twenty seconds in, she pauses.

“I’m so sorry. I’m still not talking to my husband, am I?”

De-escalate. Disarm. Establish rapport.

You can do this.

You channel Derek, using a softer tone designed to distract. Maybe you’ll sneak some humor in there, if you can manage it.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Hotchner, he’s not available.”

With a defeated sigh, she asks, flatly, “Where is he?”

Humor. Play off her disappointment.

“I assume he’s in a meeting or something - he likes to think he’s very important - but I can’t find him.”

To your surprise, she laughs a little.

You check with Hotch across the room. He rolls his eyes at you but continues his bickering.

Success.

“Can you just… I don’t know… Tell him I called, or something?”

You try not to think too hard about the defeat in her tone. “I promise I’ll badger him to call you back as soon as he’s back at his desk, ma’am.”

“Wow.” She sounds impressed, and you’re not sure why. You’re not left in suspense for long. She continues -

“You’re a way better liar than JJ. Also - please don’t call me ma’am. Makes me feel old. Haley’s just fine.”

“Of course.”

“You know what…” She asks for your cell number and you give it to her, throwing a glance at Hotch for good measure. He’s still pacing.

He presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose, but can’t say anything to you before he’s forced to respond to the poor budget clerk who drew the short straw. “No we can’t start sharing hotel rooms…”

Haley interrupts your momentary space-out. “Thanks, again. If he doesn’t have a chance to call me back, can you let him know I’m going to my sister’s for the weekend? With Jack?”

“Sure.”

That’s another question I’m not going to ask.

You hang up the phone and get back to your exam, trying not to feel comforted by the lull of familiarity in the room.

+++

For some reason, you keep finding yourself alone in police precincts in the middle of nowhere with Hotch sitting across the table from you.

“Hey,” he says.

You look up.

“Haley, she…” He heaves a sigh and trails off for a minute, frowning at a spot above your head. “I don’t know why I’m asking, what I’m asking.”

You keep your eyes on him. “Shoot.”

He takes another breath. “I don’t know how to make her happy anymore.”

This is above my pay grade.

“Everything I do seems to irritate her - trying, not trying, just surviving. I don’t know.” He shakes his head at your somewhat bewildered expression. “Sorry, I -”

“No, no, Hotch. It’s fine.” You search for his eyes. “What can I do?”

He shakes his head. “Any advice?”

Any advice? Definitely above my pay grade.

You also feel for him - he wouldn’t be asking if he wasn’t desperate.

Besides that, it almost makes sense he’s asking you rather than anyone else on the team. They’ve all known him too long, have been too close to see his struggles clearly. They need to see him as an authority, separate from petty squabbles.

Separate from the things that make him human.

He needs to be a superhero for this team, and then go home and be a superhero for his family. Both parts of his life exist with a wall between them - Agent Hotchner can’t be a husband and a father in the field, and Mr. Haley Hotchner can’t be an agent at home.

It must be lonely.

Everyone else knows about and ignores that necessary separation. He trusts them as his colleagues, people he can rely on professionally, but perhaps not personally.

Well, all except Emily.

You get the feeling that he doesn’t completely trust Emily yet, but you’re not sure why. That’s another thing to figure out about the walking enigma sitting across from you.

“Well… I’ve never been married, I don’t have kids, but I think…” You search for words.

It’s none of my business, is what you want to say.

Instead, you offer, “Why don’t you just ask her?”

His brow crumples. “What?”

“Ask her. You don’t know how to, I dunno, do it right on your own, it sounds like. But you’re a team, right? Just ask her.”

You duck down to your work, getting the feeling he’d rather not be observed as he processes. There’s a part of you that wonders whether his preference for privacy masks his fear.

Another part of you already knows the answer.

+++

Derek and Emily walk back into the precinct, spotting the pair of you right where they left you.

Hotch still watches you with a soft, curious frown on his face, like there’s a puzzle there he can’t quite solve. You diligently work away, sticking flags and post-its on cold cases for the board.

“What’s with that?”

Emily looks up from her phone. “What’s with what?”

Derek nudges his chin toward the conference room. “That.”

Emily’s brow pinches a little. “They seem to be getting along well.” Her mouth twists. “I didn’t think he’d warm up so easily. He didn’t with me.”

“He gets like that. He’s getting better, though, ever since you called him out.”

She snorts. “You’re kidding. I didn’t think he actually listened - I barely meant it.”

“No, you didn’t.” Derek raises his eyebrows and searches for her eyes. “And he heard you.”

Emily shifts her attention back to you, her posture softening. “Oh.”

“C’mon,” Derek says, tapping her upper back with a good deal of affection. “Let’s regroup and see what we’ve got.”

+++

Aaron sits up in bed, the harsh light from the hotel table lamp illuminating the ugly wallpaper and the case files on the equally ugly bedspread.

His fingers hover restlessly over the keys as he drafts his email, warring with himself.

Does he want you on the team? Permanently? He’s already shown too much of his hand, revealed too much of himself, grew too comfortable too quickly.

He’s not sure what it is about you that forced his guard down.

You’re not the first person he’s asked about Haley, though he must admit that Gideon was next to no help. Spencer’s offered him unsolicited statistics about marital strife on three separate occasions in the past three months.

Aaron presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose and squeezes his eyes shut.

I live in a circus.

He opens his eyes and reads over the email again.

Fuck it.

His cursor hovers over Send for just a moment before he clicks. The little whooshing sound seals his fate.

+++

You land in Arizona and Gideon’s already on edge. There’s already another crime scene by the time you get off the plane

“This one’s going to be bad, isn’t it?”

Derek sighs. “You’ve got good instincts. Stay close.”

You elect yourself Derek’s shadow at the crime scene, taking notes for him while he circles and observes the body.

Leaning close to him, you ask, “Isn’t the body positioning a sign of remorse?”

He looks over at you with a little smile. “Yeah. Good work.” He looks across the street to Hotch, speaking with the detective. “Do yourself a favor and note that to Hotch. Make sure Gideon hears you.”

+++

This time, you’re alone with Emily in the conference room, helping her pin and organize the board.

“Hey,” she says, something like hesitation in her voice.

You turn. “Yeah?”

“Did Strauss ever…” She trails off and looks over her shoulder as Hotch, Gideon, and Derek come back in from the Arizona heat. They’re on their way to the conference room.

“Did she ever what?”

Emily shakes her head and forces a smile, waving you off. “Nevermind.”

You’re not sure you get the confused look of your face before your colleagues walk through the door.

+++

“Where are they?” Hotch watches the monitor, his eyes flickering, searching for Derek and Emily.

You’re frozen, watching over his shoulder as the woman stabs the unsub, and then herself. Without knowing why, your mind wanders to that question Emily almost asked you the day before.

This isn’t good.

+++

The plane ride home is quiet, tense.

You sit next to Hotch again. There’s not much you can do, but you shoot a text to Haley.

5:42pm We’re flying back. Should be wheels down in Quantico in about four hours.

She texts back after a minute.

5:43pm Thanks.

There’s something off - you don’t like the look of that period, but you try not to read into it too much. You’re all feeling a little unsettled after that case.

Your eyes wander across the cabin.

JJ’s bottom lip is firmly planted between her teeth as she stares out the window.

Spencer’s sitting across from Gideon with a huge book in his lap, but he’s looking at Gideon more than he’s reading.

Gideon, for once, doesn’t have his journal in his hand. He, like JJ, stares out the window, his mouth pinched.

Emily’s eyes are restless, her breathing somewhat irregular. She’s picking at her nails.

“Emily.”

She looks up at you, and you tap the back of your hand with a finger. She looks down, finding her thumb and index finger close to bleeding.

“Thanks.” She looks away from you again.

If you didn’t know better, you’d think the view out the window was the most captivating sight in history.

You know better. It’s just clouds.

Your phone buzzes in your hand. Jenny.

5:58pm How’s it going?

You huff a little laugh down your nose.

5:58pm Rough day.

Hotch breaks his gaze from the window. “What’s up?”

“Just Jenny. She’s checking in.”

He shakes his head and you can hear the sarcasm in his tone. “Good day for it.”

6:01pm If you’re up to it, I’ll be in my office late if you want to swing by and talk about it. 6:02pm I also have booze.

You look up to find Hotch reading over your shoulder. He backs off. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to -”

“No, it’s fine.”

“You should go, if she’s offering.”

You snort. “Should I be job-searching already?”

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” he says with a little smile. “Jenny’s seen a lot. She’s a good resource.”

+++

The Navy yard is quiet as you drive across the campus. The NCIS building isn’t hard to find, but it’s still unfamiliar territory.

When you park and get cleared for access and up the elevator, most of the lights are off on the Major Case Response floor. There are still agents present, working under the warm light of their desk lamps.

A team of four takes up the middle of the bullpen, but they barely look up as you pass them and climb the stairs.

Cynthia isn’t at her desk - gone for the night - and Jenny’s office door is open. She also has her overhead lights turned off, giving her office a cozy, lived-in feel.

“Hey, you,” she says, looking up with a little smile. “Just got the scuttlebutt on that Arizona case. Definitely not ideal, I hear.”

You shake your head, collapsing into a chair on the other side of her desk. “Not ideal is a good way to put it.”

She stands and crosses the office, pouring two small glasses of some amber liquid you know is gonna burn like hell.

You take what she offers and hold in both of your hands, not really interested in drinking it, and follow her to the couch.

“What happened?”

You heave a breath. “Got the call - three murders already. Clearly a preferential offender. All the women were students, brunette, similar features. We already had another crime scene by the time we landed. We used the profile, got the guy.”

Jenny’s brow pinches. “Then?”

“Copycat. Even came with a note exonerating the suspect we had in custody. We had to let him go without a lead on the second suspect.”

She sighs and takes a sip of her bourbon. “Been there.”

“We were surveilling him, waiting for him to do something stupid - we knew he would. The copycat confronted him… She was suicidal. Stabbed him, then herself. We were too late.”

“Oh, my God.”

You level her with an exhausted look. “Yeah.”

“How’s your team?”

“Tired, mostly.” You offer a humorless laugh. “Maybe in a more existential way than a physical way, not that any of us have slept…”

The two of you chat into the early hours of the morning. She’s had more than one day like this, in more than one country.

“It’s days like this that make you question whether you’ve chosen the right line of work.” She looks over at a picture of herself in front of the Eiffel Tower, resting on her bookshelf. “But the good days…”

“They make it worth it, don’t they?”

The corner of her mouth tips up in a smile. “Yeah. They do.”

+++

You find a text from Haley when you get back into the car, not realizing you left it in the center console cup holder.

10:38pm Thanks for getting him home safe. Get some sleep.

+++

When you come in the next morning almost embarrassingly late, Gideon’s office is still dark.

You’re not even really sure you should be here in the first place, what with the major fuckup hanging over everyone’s heads. The last thing you want to do is go home to your room, back to those four tiny walls and textbooks, even after everything. The bullpen, this team, has become your safety net.

They should all be here, but there’s only one absence striking you as particularly odd. “Where’s Gideon?”

Spencer shrugs, spinning half-circles in his desk chair. He looks despondent, staring at the carpet. You don’t see Emily or Derek, but you assume they’re somewhere.

Weird.

You set your things down and head up the stairs, knocking twice on Hotch’s door.

“Yeah?” He looks up and sees you, relaxing a little.

You take a little breath. “Should I be here today?”

“Do you want to be here today?” There’s something behind his voice you can’t quite place. It almost sounds like insecurity, like he’s worried he’s scared you off.

Far from it.

“I do, sir. I want to be here.” You think of Jenny, and hope he can hear more than you can say. “It’s worth it.”

You think maybe you’re figuring him out a little more. He smiles more often than you’d think, but you have to know what it looks like. This look - the softening of his eyes and the corners of his mouth, the slight crease at the corners of his eye, the threat of a dimple - is just as big a smile for him as Morgan’s human-sunshine smile.

“Then stick around. I’ll have you work on some mock consults with Reid and Prentiss - you’ll be doing a lot of those in the next few months until you’re ready to take them on by yourself.”

“I’ll go pick them up from JJ. They’re in her office, right?”

He nods and you turn to leave, but you’re stopped by the sound of your name before you can get through the door. “Yeah?”

“You’ve performed remarkably well, no matter what happens after this.”

The side of your mouth twists. “Thank you, sir.”

+++

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @hotchsflower @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @dwellingsofrosie @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em @word-scribbless @jdougl-love @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandice-ray @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @bwbatta @roses-and-grasses @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @mandylove1000 @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor @spencers-hoodrat @popped-weasels @evee87 @nuvoleincielo @this-broken-band-girl @reidtomestyles @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @winqhster @the-falling-in-the-danger @iconicc @mangoberry43 @andreasworlsboring101 @kerrswriting @mac99martin @itsalwaysb33nyou @baumarvel @messyhairday-me @ssworldofsw @deagibs @crazyshannonigans @moonshinerbynight @jhiddles03 @teamhappyme @mendesmelodies @starsandasteroids @unicorn-bitch @ambicaos @bispences

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #hotch #tali writes fanfiction #tali talks cm #a joyful future #a joyful future fanfic

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unsubspodcast · 3 years

Text

Criminal Minds S1E1 FULL RECAP

LISTEN NOW

S1E1 - “Extreme Aggressor”

Heather Woodland sits in an office at her job, IMing with someone named Z4SALE about a car that Z4SALE is selling. A Datsun Z. (which is apparently a real car). Z4SALE says “Moving. Must sell ASAP. You up for a test drive?” And Heather is. We watched Heather meet Z4SALE whose face is obscured, and we watch her get into the car. Z4SALE then punches and abducts Heather.

Cut scene to Aaron Hotchner’s house where he is discussing baby names with his very pregnant wife Haley. He gets a phone call and a fax from the BAU. The fax shows a picture of Heather indicating that she is missing. FYI- I will be referring to each agent by their last name from here on out.

Cut scene to The Delicious Derek Morgan at a bar with a group of female FBI trainees, where he is drinking shots and discussing serial killers. HOT. He also gets a phone call from the BAU (Behavioral Analysis Unit). The caller ID literally says “BAU”.

Cut to Jason Gideon teaching a lecture on the Footpath Killer. We learn that before serial killers are identified, they are referred to as “unsubs” or “uknown subjects”. He discusses profiling the footpath killer, specifically that the unsub has a stutter. We also learn that Gideon has been on medical leave from the BAU due to a mysterious incident that occurred in Boston.

Spencer Reed pulls Gideon out of the class, and discusses the unsub masquerading as Z4SALE. Z4SALE is apparently a serial killer dubbed the “Seattle Strangler”. The Strangler keeps his victims for seven days and slowly suffocates them. Gideon is being brought out of medical leave to assist in solving the case.

Cut to Heather tied up and blindfolded in a cage being tortured by the Strangler. He cuts off her fingernails (gross) but don’t worry girl the BAU is coming!

The BAU arrive in Seattle. Morgan reveals to Reed that he has doubts about Gideon’s mental state. We also learn that Hotchner has been tasked with evaluating Gideon’s mental state or FBI headquarters. Morgan is revealed to be an expert on obsessional crimes, and Gideon makes sure everyone knows that Reed is a DR, not just a special agent, because Reed is young. We also learn that the BAU does not look at a suspect list until after they’ve created an unsub profile.

Hotchner and Reed go to Heather’s house to meet David Woodland. Whose relationships to Heather is unclear??? Reed notices that Heather was searching for a new car, specifically a Datsun Z. Reed deduces that Heather was likely kidnapped by whomever she was corresponding with in regards to the car.

Back at Seattle headquarters, Gideon is ready to give the profile. However, Morgan doubts the authenticity of the profile because of Gideon’s apparent mental illness. Gideon gives the profile anyway.

THE PROFILE PART 1

White/ late 20s

Someone you wouldn’t notice at first / blends in to the crowd

Violent nature of the crime suggests previous history- petty crimes/ auto theft

Organized killer

Psychopathic as opposed to psychotic* Follows the news - organized killers have a fascination with law enforcement. They will inject themselves into the investigation, come forward as witnesses to see just how much the police know, Gideon theorizes that they have already interviewed him.

Good hygiene

Smart - only physical evidence you find is what he wants you to find

Mobile - maybe Jeep Cherokee with tinted windows

Murders involved rape without penetration. Piquerism - sexually inadequate.

Paranoia stemming from a childhood trauma (death of a parent or family member)

He feels persecuted and watched. Murder gives him a sense of power.

We meet Elle Greenway. An undercover agent with a background in sex offender cases. [I met her in real life at Soprano Con]. She convinces Richard Slessman to accompany her to “her house” where he is arrested by the BAU task force. However, Grumpy Gideon is not impressed with Elle (guess they call her by her first name for some reason??). Morgan advises her to “show a little leg”, and she immediately rebuffs him. There is a position open in the BAU, and she’s angling for it.

The BAU quickly learns that their profile does not match Slessman, because Slessman has a submissive personality. Slessman tries to convince them that he has multiple personality disorder, but they realize that there must be a second unsub working with him. There’s also a scene in which Mandy Patankin really struggles with the word “Woodlawn”.

Morgan enters Richard Slessman’s room and says “Something’s not right about this, this is a boy’s room, not a man’s.” Which is pretty dated. I know Morgan seems problematic but he is literally one of the best characters on this show I promise you. There’s a false password on Slessman’s computer, and the boardgame “go” which is set up as if someone is halfway through a game. From Wikipedia: Go is an abstract strategy board game for two players in which the aim is to surround more territory than the opponent. The game was invented in China more than 2,500 years ago and is believed to be the oldest board game continuously played to the present day. Reed analyzes the baord which shows that Slessman has been playing himself and using the “extreme aggressor” technique.

PROFILE PART 2

Two unsubs

Submissive and dominant personality

Slessman is the submissive- smart

??? is the dominant- schoolyard bully, protective of Slessman

Elle and Gideon want to question Charlie Linder, who was Slessman’s cellmate at a prison called Arcadia. Just want to note that Arcadia is not the name of the prison in Seattle, it’s actually called “FDC” (Federal Detention Center). FDC has a 3.7 rating on Indeed.com where one upset reviewer wrote: “I have never seen such a group of managers who have no clue what they are doing. Somehow the place keeps on chugging along.” There is a prison located in Arcadia Florida called the “Desoto Annex” which has a 3.8 on Indeed.com where one happy reviewer wrote: “finding ones self and self worth while working amongst the most diverse group of individuals one could ever imagine.” From what I can find there is no Arcadia prison irl.

But I digress… It isn’t until after they arrive at Arccadia that they discover that Linder has been dead for two months. Instead they question Tim Vogel, the security guard on Slessman’s old unit. They talk to him for like two seconds before deciding that Vogel must be the second Unsub, because he has Datsun Z keys. Elle and Gideon tail Vogel’s Datsun Z after he leaves work for the day, but discover that Vogel has switched cars with a coworker.

Meanwhile, we meet Penelope Garcia who introduces herself as “Penelope Garcia from the Office of Supreme Genius”. She is basically like the BAU’s Alexa. Morgan is trying to break the password on Slessman’s computer, and Garcia advises him that Slessman’s password encryption software is too complicated and that he will have to figure out another way to gain access to the computer.

Morgan deduces that Slessman is an insomniac, and that he must listen to music while trying to fall asleep. Reed joins him in sifting through Slessman’s CDs, they find that the password for Slessman’s computer is the Metallica song “Enter Sandman”. But apparently the album Reed shows Morgan is “Some Kind of Monster”, which does not have the “Enter Sandman” track on it. “Enter Sandman” is on the self-tilted Metallica album from 1991.

Fun fact - I read somewhere that if you need to fall asleep to music/videos/etc you are more likely to have sociopathic tendencies - IDK how legit this study was, but its very interesting.

Anyways… They uncover a live feed of Heather in captivity. They determine that she’s on a boat in a shipyard, which we later learn is the Allied Shipyard. Between Arcaddia the Prison and the Allied Shipyard, writer Mark Cabot must really like the letter A…

Back in Seattle Headquarters, Hotchner convinces Slessman to give up Vogel. Gideon and Elle hurry to the shipyard to save Heather. Gideon arrives just in time to rescue Heather from Vogel. Vogel shoots Gideon and then Elle shoots Vogel. Gideon is wearing a bulletproof vest though so he is okay. CM episodes usually end on a plane, and this one is no different. Gideon does a weird old man voice when asking Hotchner about the report that Hotchner has been writing on Gideon’s mental state. “Didn’t think you could hide that from an old profiler did ya?” Why. Just. Why?

But the episode is not over! We see a flashback to Gideon at a gas station where the attendant has a stutter and there are tons of polaroids of people hung up behind him? Not sure if they’re shoplifters or what?? Gideon realizes that this attendant i the Towpath Killer, and the episode ends with the killer pulling a shotgun on him.’

Rating Criteria

Criminal/Serial Killer: 10/20

Character development/ character arcs: 15/20

Forensics/Context: 10/20

Script writing: 10/20

Background characters: 8/20

Overall: 53/100

#criminal minds #criminal minds season 1 recap #criminal minds season 1 episode 1 recap #criminal minds extreme aggressor #criminal minds season 1 episode 1 #violence #gore #rape #serial killers #kidnapping

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currentfandomkick · 5 years

Text

Bio! Dad Strange part 4

Shorter but a paris update for her life and a little on gotham with Jason as Robin while Tim is a hero Stalker.

Marinette is 7 when she changes schools, ordered into the Dupont school chain by her teachers since she was getting ‘difficult’ and contradicting their ciriculum. When they challeneged her on this, she went to the school board with Rolland beside her of all people.

The board agreed on one thing, Marinette’s contradictions were not only factually correct, but were done to prevent the outdated ciriculum from hurting her classmates. Instead of punishing her, she got to skip a gade and was given to Dupont as a ‘highly reccomended gifted student’.

Her first day she met Max, who also skipped a grade. The pair bond in five seconds over a new programming focused on learning emotional intelligence. Uncle Riddler was showing her it, and Max got his hands on a various ai bases. This led to then teaming up and designing the one and only Markov together, if only in schematics.

A week in and the two notice that some kids are being followed around by a guy with a bat. They report it. Again and again, but no one can find him.

One day he catches the pair on their way to Max’s—they wanted to work on their ai together, ok? The guy tries to hit Max, saying something about them being lucky metas that needed to suffer.

Marinette’s gotham training kicked in. She caught the bat, ripped it away from him and hit him in the chest with it, while yelling at max to run.

At the end of the incident, videotaped by a bystander, the Dupont Stalker was arrested.

Marinette was given another name by the police, ‘fille de batte’ or bat girl. Her having family in gotham only made the nickname more popular.

This put her on Kim and Alix’s radar. Kim wanted a challenge for fighting and competitions, and this tiny kid did that—to an adult! New friend and rival!

Alix was went from shock to joy as Marientte does art. She does art. Art friend to rant to found!

Nino ran into Marinette not long after Kim and Alix attached themselves to her and Max. Nino became their judge for Kim challenges. Including Mari pinning Kim to the mat, or deciding who did a circus move better (Mari won acrobatics).

Chloe doesnt go to dupont until next year, and sabrina is in another class, mildly concerned for Marinette.

In this au, again, Dupont is considered a ‘i would not be shocked if there were metas there’ school for gifted kids in any way.

Marinette is sent there for her insane science obsession at the time, but is also put in their arts program with Alix to develop as an artist with her medium, fabrics and fashion.

And if marinette redesigns hero outfits as “monsiuer ross, scribbles have more style, let alone fashion sense” alot, well. Kids get obsessed a lot and the Justice League is a common one, as are known villians. Her everyday outfits having different hero schemes—oddly enough some forensic scientist she’s obsessed with from some american city ended up in her mix—well. She’s a kid and showing signs a few types of anxiety.

Possible social and OCD and a developing case of perfectionism common to the arts program. The school has her see a therapist and know she isnt telling them everything beyong mild concern for her gotham family, and confusion over people just ‘not getting things’ as she is terribly smart and good at finding patterns and how do people not see it?

By the end of the year Marinette is in a strong friend group who’s parents and hers have decided to have joint custody during the school year.

She was now (forced) to learn vietnamese from Kim’s Grandparents, italian from Rolland (her nonno that has a Thing for tradition and somehow married Gina and raised Tom mostly on his own while running the bakery to boot), english from Father/Strange, Mandarin from her Maman and she started Arabic to talk with Nino’s aunt who kept saying marinette was her future in-law and point out that nino and her are friends, not dating ma’am.

However, Nino endured most of this with her-not the italian or Mandarin, but the others. Kim couldnt get Arabic but mandarin was a breeze for him. Alix cannot get vietnamese or arabic but Mandarin is her jam after french. Max just speaks french and english, he understands the others he just cant get the sounds right, ok?

When Marinette goes back to Gotham that summer, she ends up dealing with Hero Stalker Tim (jason is robin now) while looking for Red Hoodie who No oNE is telling her what happened and she’s worried, ok?

Tim feeds her obbsession with fixing problems. He sometimes sends her building layouts of places Catwoman stole from. And then the jewlry reappears thanks to a nervous Marinette coached by Rose and Ghoul while Frost handles her post-fix it freak out. Tim also may or may not get helped by her alot during Batman Stalking Time as she teaches his butt how to sneak and complains he’s worse than penguin.

Tim hates that, works on it, and still has nonidea who she is. He does admit to figuring out who batman may be, but needs more evidence so...

Marinette hits him becuase “thats dangerous!” And tries to lecture him in identites.

Batman’s radiowave was used for said lecture.

“And it puts their families in danger you, uh, hero stalker! And stuff so no more identity investigations!”

“They have the same builds, and did signsture moves from—“ the signal cutout.

He and Jason are more careful... ish. They change channels and monitor the old one.

Sometimes Batman catches Marinette and Tim talking about coldcases and she has asked three times if he heard anything about Jason’s street kid identity. Jason is feeling guilty about this as she’s his Pixie Pop. This lets Bruce know that the probably-clark’s-kid would keep Jason away from GCPD and CPS.

When a convo leads to Batman finding out Tim and Marinette have considered asking the police for help with a case of medicine that needed to be recalled as it was beign used to mule drugs contaminated the batches and hurt patients, but turned it down after she saw some taking bribes from Fish, Batman lets Gordon know and an investigation is launched.

While Bats is away, Jason visits marinette as Robin and tries to get her to bats for more information and a lecture on heroing without adult supervision. Maybe.

Only she’s currently stealing from a sleeping selina at another HQ. A Selina who has stopped trying to stop marinette and let riddler turn her house into one of his ‘traps’ to stop Marinette’s ‘return theiving’.

Jason gets stuck in a trap. Marinette is gone by then, scared Robin will tell Superman about her and he’ll hurt her family or something.

Catwoman is annoyed at Marinette’s sucess. She goes to stop the girl after leaving him tied up for Batman with a message: leave her new kitten-to-be alone.

Follow up talk post-Caught Marinette reverse theiving.

“Blame the Council’s decrees. She’s their little princess, and my new neice,” Catwoman watched Batman carefully.

Confused Batman in interrogator mode. “You mean the Court of Owls, arent they disbanded?”

“Bats, the council is gotham’s underground. Apparently Two-Face made the contracts as penance for scaring the Princess during a breakout. Unless you want an organized attack by the council, steer clear of her.”

Batman conencts the dots and curses himself. The girl he was looking for last summer is the Princess of Gotham’s underground. It will be hell finding her. And Superman/Clark will lose it when he’s told.

He lets the JL know about it, saying ‘possibly kyptonian clone, female child. Gotham’s underground is calling her their Princess. Connor and Kidflash tailed her last summer during the arkham breakout while Robin was with the Titans. Be alert for a small asian girl.’

That was how Marinette ended up on the JL watch list and how Superman had another existential crisis.

Dick freaks out with the Titans over this. Becuase kyltonian raised by villians is terrifying. Jason forwarded the message and adds on “she’s a good kid and wants to help. Somehow keeps zsasz and joker from killing people, so its not good to take her away or issolate her from the villians if you find her. From what i remember, she is terrified of her family beign put in danger. The others wont listen to me. If you can, pass this along to the other sidekicks and your allies—none of them trust me enough to listen. I cant talk to her as a civilian like i used to either for obvious reasons. And she’s terrified of me-Robin. Maybe you can get through to her, or someone else can. Just talk to her first, she’s more reasonsble than she looks”

Dick doesnt read the add on until much later and regrets it.

He met marinette once. She was a very excited kid babbling about aerodynamics in acrobatics and asking about that. Not hero things, not power things, or justice league but That.

He tried to be nice but he was having a horrible mission, saw the girl floating as she rambled and tried to grab her.

She freaked out and bolted, sort of. He got slammed into a building, or would have had she not caught him, rambled in french while trying to apologize (he was a but stunned from the throw, and rebooting as villian-kyptonian was... nice?) and put him on the roof, hit his communicator and said one thing.

“I think i broke your robin? All are robins like bird bones or something?”

He regained a functioning brain as that. That was something he could respond to.

“I am human thank you!”

That seemed to be enough for her as he moved to get up. She waved bye and bolted, something about Rose being mad at her for being late...

“Titans. I think we might have been wrong about the kid...”

Later with Young Justice the info was passed on.

Jason asked if anyone read his attachment and was met with silence. He groaned and told them “so another team she’s going to avoid... great.”

Marinette added the titans to her list of ‘people to aviod—tetch and Jerimah were the worst. Luthor and Cadmus were under them. Then the entire Justice League (they would tell batman or superman. Snitches.), followed by GCPD, CPS, the Bat Family and now Titans. She wonders if she needs to add anyone else, and hates that she cant talk to heroes. They could help with controlling her powers instead of suppressing them but she cant trust them not to give her to superman like batman did with Rose to Poison Ivy and she’s pretty sure Superboy too.

Next time, times marinette accidently put together identities and curses Hero Stalker Tim for her now knowing.

#bio!dad au #bio!dad strange #my au #marinette strange dupain cheng #my ideas #marinette strange dupain cheng part 4 #maribat #ml au

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rason-rodd · 7 years

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Red Hood And The Outlaws: Loyalty (Chapter 10)

[Read the Chapter on AO3] [ Chapter 9 ]

Chapter 10 : Late Night Interrogation

From the tops of the highest buildings, one could picture Gotham City as a good place to live in. No sound except the whistling of the wind blowing softly. Yes from up there, Gotham could pass for the East Coast gem city with her beautiful shining lights which brighten the night sky like thousands stars. But when you look more closely, when you get down on the streets, you realise that the view is merely an illusion, a masquerade, something to cover up the truth, that the city is broken, soiled by criminality and that the light has stop shining a while ago. You don’t live happily ever after in Gotham City, you suffer and die in tremendous pain.

This is something Jason Todd has always known. But still, he stays, watching the people from up here, and he dares to dream of the day his beloved city would gain back her glory just like he used to do when he was a teenager hidden among the gargoyles, alone.

Except that tonight, he’s not alone.

“ You know I think Gotham will never stop surprising me.” Jason confessed as he took a bite in his burger. “ Yeah, I agree. It’s not everyday that I end up booby-trapped and that close to blowing up” She greedily sucked her salt-covered greasy fingers, enjoying her well-deserved meal. “ Then you’re definitely new on the job.” “ No, I’ve just been away from Gotham for too long to remember how mad this city is.” “ Where have you been then?” “ Here and there. Travelling the world …” She stole him a fry as she talked but Jason didn’t complain. After all, he cared little about the food. He only wanted her to confess more things about herself and he had thought that some late night unhealthy takeout would help by not making this conversation too interrogation-y. “ On the run?” “ On an adventure.” She corrected him with a smile “Never gave the CIA, the FBI, Mi-5 or Interpol the means to track me down”. “ What about the GCPD?” She frowned and immediately put down her burger back in its packing as she was about to take another bite. “Neither … But by all means, Redbird, keep asking your questions and I’ll keep pretending not to see where this is going.”

Jason sighed when he realised how vexed and annoyed she was. “Listen [Y/N], I just want to know what Batman meant when he said he’ll send you back “where you should have stayed”?” She got immediately to her feet with a sigh. “ Of course you do ... How naïve of me to think we could just have some nice burgers and fries after a long night of hard work” “ You don’t answer my question.” He stood up as well but when he felt the anger growing in her voice he decided to do his best to remain calm and still in order not to make her feel oppressed and to give her some space. “ Why would I? You haven’t told me anything about you, not even your name, so why would I tell you a damn thing about my past?” He didn’t reply but he could definitely understand her point of view. “Trust goes both ways, Red. And since you’re not willing to give me yours …” He narrowed the space between them, pointing at her with a threatening finger. “Hey! I put my fucking life between your hands tonight and look where it almost led us!” Too angry Jason, too angry, calm down. But that was the thing with Jason Todd. He was not known for his ability to keep his cool. On the contrary, a simple irritation or a false accusation was enough to make him boil over in a snap. The result of years of living on his own in the streets certainly. And he had always been conscious of that, even back in the days he was still Robin. Batman had pointed out his anger issues to him and had tried to help him control his temper, in vain. Apparently, you can take the kid out of Crime Alley but not the other way around.

“ Oh come on, don’t lecture me, Redbird. How many times do I have to say I’m sorry?” “ You didn’t say you were sorry” He snarkily declared. “ That doesn’t mean I didn’t mean it … Wow, that’s a lot of “mean” in the same sentence” “ Can’t you be serious for a minute, for fuck’s sake?” “ No, I can’t because someone needs to cheer up the mood a little bit since you’re too focused on being Batman’s little flunkey!” The rebuke stung a bit. Yes he was playing by Batman’s rules but he hated it and it sure as hell wasn’t making him Bruce’s puppet. “ By all means, say it louder!” He yelled at her with some wild gesture. “ We’re on a rooftop in the middle of the night. No one can hear us. And even if somebody could, what would it change? I’m sure you’ve already given yourself away with Black Mask… Robin.”

Jason’s blue eyes immediately widened, and he stared at her confused and rattled. “ How long have you known?” She always knew. Bronze Tiger had told her so much about that outlaw who had defeated the Demon’s head. And after seeing him in action tonight, she even began to put two and two together concerning few suspicions she had. But she couldn’t tell him that so she did what she was assigned to. She lied. “ Not long and it didn’t take a genius to figure it out. Seeing you fight was more than enough to guess it. You still make the same old Robin moves you used to make in the past.” “ How would you know my Robin moves?” “ Because I saw them. Plus, does Batman organize a casting or post a classified ad on the Gotham Gazette? Because seriously, you Robins all look the same!” She cleared her voice taking a male low tone “ Looking for a dark haired blue eyed little boy willing to risk his life every night and ready to be arrested by the fashion police at any moment for wearing green shorts that are way too tiny and pixie boots … oh and who would agree to be called after a stupid bird””

Jason gritted his teeth with a frown, trying to put up with the mockery though the part about the tiny short and the pixie boots was rather correct. “Well if you knew more about the Robins, then you would know that we aren’t alike, at all. The first one is a fucking Mr Perfect, the epitome of the Boy Wonder, the last one an arrogant brat full of himself and the only reason why I will not criticize the third one is because I want him to stay in peace wherever he is now” (see Detective Comics Rebirth #940). “And you are the Bat’s lapdog.” She weighed him up “Admit it, those guns are just for show! You fancy yourself an independent vigilante, an outlaw, but what have you done except following the crazy law-and-order shit of an old enlightened man?” “ You don’t know who I am!” He snarled, his body towering her in an impressive way and his menacing eyes full of anger looking deeply into hers that were rather defying. “ That’s exactly my point!” She replied reproachfully with a sigh before looking away from Jason, annoyed. He did the same.

Calm was suddenly back on the rooftop but both could feel the adrenaline still rushing down their veins as they were both still heated by this argument. “ This team up thing was a stupid idea.” She spat not willing to look at him “ Yeah it definitely was.” But he dared to look at her. Her face was all flushed and she was still sporting this frown, the same one a pouting child would have on his face after a tantrum but somehow Jason found this quite cute on her, sexy even. When she felt his stare on her, she glanced at him. “What? Why are looking at me like that?”

#Jason Todd #jason todd x original female character #red hood #Red Hood And The Outlaws #red hood and the outlaws: loyalty #rhato #rhato rebirth

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takeachanceff · 8 years

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Changes: Chapter 20

Melina "I'm ending it" he said looking me in the eyes. "Okay" i said making him smile. "Trust me baby our family is gonna be safe" he said before he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "I trust you" I mumbled then I smiled at him. He went back on the driver side then turned the car on. We pulled off from the hospital parking lot. The day I met Rickey was the worst day of my life. All he did was pick on me and call me names. I hated the fact that my dad would make us talk to each other. He's been a thorn in my side ever since. I put my window some to get some air. We've been driving in silence. I looked over at Jason admiring his features as he concentrated on driving. We both agreed for him to take me to my mothers house. I didn't want him to be since I'm pregnant there isn't much for me to do. His words wouldn't get out of my head. He doesn't know that I got an abortion when I was 18. I was terrified at the time to tell my father and Jason. This was a couple weeks after Rickey raped me. I wasn't sure if the baby was his or Jason's. It scared the hell out of me. I prayed that it was Jason's because at the time we weren't using condoms. We always talked about having a family together even back then. I never had the heart to tell him because it killed me to see him so sad. He constantly blamed himself for me having a 'miscarriage'. It took him weeks to get himself together. Should I even tell him? What would be the point? Closure? Would he hate me? [Flashback 7 years ago] I've been in bed for the past couple of days. My father and I still are talking. All the things he said about Jason and our baby. He doesn't know the first thing about him. My father is the last person to fall about anyone he was married and was still unfaithful. So please save me the lecture, I'm not even sure if that baby was Jason's. That scares me more than anything. My baby is gone, and I'm the blame for that. I let my father talk me into getting rid of the baby. He told me that he was going to disown me and my baby. I'm only 18 I haven't moved out yet. Fuck. A tap on my window caught my attention. I carefully got out of bed and opened my window to Jason in. He'd sneak in when I couldn't stay at his place. I went back to my bed and got comfortable under the covers. He smiled and lied next to me. "You think the baby will be a girl or a boy?" He asked and my heart broke at his question. I didn't answer trying to hold in my tears. "Mel, if you're worried that I'm gonna leave you. I already told you that I'm not going anywhere. I'm not my father I refuse to leave my child behind" he assured me. I turned to face him and sniffed. "J-Jason it's not that" I finally got out. "Then what's wrong? Why you crying ma?" He asked now looking concerned. I shook my head then closing my eyes shut trying not to cry harder. "Baby please talk to me what's wrong?" He said I felt him put his arms around me. "I-I can't you're gonna hate me.." I said hiding my face in his shoulder. "I would never hate you I can only understand if you tell me. What's going on?" He asked again. I stayed quiet for a bit trying to figure out how I'm going to tell him that the baby was gone. "I'm here for you baby it's okay" he said rubbing my back. "I-I lost the baby..." I admitted. He didn't say anything and the tears came out more frequently. "I'm sorry please don't hate me" I begged. He still remained silent but he held me tighter. "Our baby is gone?" He asked in disbelief and I nodded still crying in. "How?" "I- I miscarried" I lied. I feel horrible lying but I can't tell him that I got the abortion it's too much. "Mel I'm so sorry I should've been there for you baby... I'm sorry" he said before kissing my cheek. "I should've been there I could've protected you" he continued. "J its not your fault-" he cut me off. "I could've done something all this stress wasn't good for you now our baby is gone" he let me go then ran his hands down his face. "Damn it..." ................. I put my head back and looked out the window to look up at the stars. After twenty more minutes of driving we finally pulled up to my moms houses. We were welcomed by by flashing police lights. Jason parked and turned off the car. I took my seat belt getting out the car walking up to the house Berle being stopped by a cop. "Excuse me ma'am I'm going to have to ask you to back up this is a on going investigation" the cop said. "This is my mothers house and my son is in there" I stated trying not to get annoyed. "Ma'am please just stay back and let us do our job" he said putting his hand out to back me up some. Instead of getting pissed, I left it alone and let them do their job. "What's going on?" Jason asked walking up behind me. "I have no idea" I mumbled as I folded my arms. "Is my son okay?" Jason asked the cop. "Sir just let us do our job" he said clearly annoyed. "Where the fuck is my son man?!" Jason yelled. I held his arm to get him out of the cops face. "Stand behind the line or I'm taking you to jail!" He yelled back. "For what asking about the well being of my son!" "GET BACK THERE OF IM ARRESTING YOU!" "YOU AINT GOT PROBABLE CAUSE NIGGA!" Jason yelled back. "Baby stop" I begged. "Nah these niggas get badges and they think they over the law" he said before clenching his jaw. "Jason stop please" I said before another cop came up to us. "Are you Jason Hennigan?" He asked. "Yeah" he answered then the cop handcuffed him. "You're under arrest" he said making my heart drop. "For what?" "Drug trafficking, you have a right to remain silent anything you say will be and can be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney-" "Drug trafficking?! What the fuck?! I ain't do anything!" Jason yelled as he was put in the cop car. "Wait wait you can't arrest him" I said. "Yes ma'am we can and we did have a good night" they took him away and I could feel my breathing become heavier. Teri He held me tight and I couldn't help but embrace all of it. All of him. My mind finally slowed down. I was in the safest place I knew of, his arms. Even know a cold and wet room he made it feel like the warmest place on Earth. We didn't speak much, but we knew what each other were saying. "I'm gonna get us out of here" he said looking down at me. "Okay.." he let me go standing up to pace the cell. "I don't know how we're gonna get out-" "Where you think you going?" A voice said catching our attention. I looked to find Jerrod. "Open this fuckin door" Derrick said through the grit of his teeth. "Oh you think you tough huh?" Jerrod asked before laughing. "You really think you getting out of here easy" he continued. "Where's Rodney Jerrod? I'm not playing your games" I finally spoke up and he looked at me. "Don't worry about it?" He mumbled. "You'll see him real soon" "Stop fuckin playing with me and tell me where my son is!" I yelled getting irritated. Jerrod knew how to test my temper. He laughed and start to head out. "Hey! She asked you a question" Derrick yelled. "And I chose not to answer her" he replied uninterested. "Why don't you let me out this cage face me like a man?" I've never seen Derrick angry and I'm not sure if should be turned on or afraid. Jerrod kept his back turned to us which pissed me off even more. "I swear to God tell me where the fuck my son is" I said through my teeth. Jerrod chuckled and finally turned to face me. "You wanna how manny really died?" He asked. "What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked bitterly he then smirked walking closer to the cell. "You've always been mine Teri way before you were aware of it" he said putting his hand behind his back. I scoffed at his words yeah this nigga is looney. "I knew he had a mental illness so I decided to play on it" he started. "I knew from the moment I saw you that you were mine. He was in the way so I had to get rid of the problem. I watched how he interacted with you and even got to know Manny ol boy" "What did you do to him?" I asked before clenching my jaw. "I did nothing he pulled the trigger himself. I just made some adjustments" "Meaning what Jerrod" I semi- yelled. "I maybe fabricated some images with you and some other guy maybe even a couple of fake phone calls with you and some guy to drive him insane" he stated nonchalantly before smirking. "You son of a bitch!" I yelled charging at him before Derrick held me back. "I knew killing him self would be too messy so why not make him kill himself" he said shrugging. "Jerrod imma fucking kill you!" I said trying to get out of Derrick's grip. "No need to get all crazy now one of us will be dead but it won't be me" he said. "You wanna bet" I said and he chuckled. "I think your surprise can be here a little early" he smirked. "Man fuck outta here wit yo shit" Derrick yelled. Jerrod didn't respond he smirked before heading to a door. He unlocked the door and motioned someone to come forward. I noticed that it Rocko walking with him and I walked closer to the cell. Jerrod whispers something to him. "Roc open the door honey" I said to him. Rocko didn't say anything he just stared at me with a blank expression. "What did you do to him?" I asked disgusted. "Nothing just enlightened him" Jerod said smirking before leaning down to whisper to him. Rocko nodded and pointed a gun at us. I closed my eyes tight and took a deep breath. "Children simply don't forget Teri you of all people should know that!" he yelled. "Shut up..." I mumbled. "Like when your father resurfaced after all those years leaving you in that empty apartment with no food, no lights, absolutely nothing," "I said shut up!" I yelled. "It hurts doesn't it?" Jerrod began. "To be reminded of your past you try so hard to run from it but here I am to simply remind you. That you can't run from what your past had you to be" he smirked. My father... That old son of a bitch. 17 years ago Atlanta, Georgia. My friends and I were outside playing hide and seek. It was getting dark and they all had to go inside before the street lights came on. "Bye Teri see you later" Ronnie said to me as he got on his bike. I waved back at him as he peddled away. I then walked back into the apartment building heading up to the second floor to the unit I lived in. I opened the door and took of my jacket hanging it on the rack before I closed the door behind me. There was some lady passed out on the couch she wore a short red skirt with a white shirt that had a stain on it. I didn't like coming inside but my dad would have a fit if I stayed out too long. Sometimes he wouldn't notice I was gone. I walked toward my room and I entered. The room only had a lamp with no cover on it, chipped red paint on the walls, and a fire escape. I closed the blinds before sitting on my bed. I decided to turn on my radio that was sitting next on my dresser. I found a station and looked under my bed found my small toy box. I looked up and saw my brother Noah standing in the door way. "Hey kid" he said walking in. "Hey" I moved my dolls aside and to let him sit down. "I wanted to talk to you about something" "Okay" "Well I've decided to go into the army so I can get money and get you out of here" I gave him a look. "Look I know I know it's not the greatest idea but it's a start, I can make enough money to pay for us to get a house and pay for your school" he explained and I remained quiet. "I'm always here for you kid" he said before pulling me into a hug. My dad stood in the door way and he sniffed. He just got high. I didn't know exactly at the time that he was on cocaine, but I did know that something wasn't right about him. My brother let me go and clenched his jaw. "What you want?" Noah asked him. "I-I need you to watch your sister" he said before he sniffed again. I shook my head and turned the radio down. "Don't I always?" Noah stated. "I'm going on a uh business trip I'll be back" my dad said. "When will you be back?" I asked. "Soon," he stated then leaving the door way. "Wait? So you just leaving and we barely got any money or food and you just leaving?!" Noah yelled. They argued for a few minutes before my father finally left. The next week my brother enlisted in the army leaving me in the apartment he told me that he would call our grandparents to come get me, but that took two months. I was only nine. My father didn't reappear until a couple years ago. Rodney was three. 2 years ago The whole family gathered at the park for the family fish fry it was a big turn out as always. I picked up Derrick and Trey from the airport this morning. I was so happy to see him l; I needed his around. Everything was going great, despite my paranoia. I have my three favorite people with me so I'm good. For now. My family really likes Derrick, that's a good sign. He's playing basketball with some of the guys in my family. The girls were bombarding Trey with questions and pictures. Rocko was playing with the other kids; he was running and laughing. Maybe I shouldn't be so paranoid. I got a chance to catch up with a lot of family members that I use to be very close to. "Teri" mama yelled from the table she was sitting. She motioned me to come here. I walked towards her to see what's she wanted. She pulled me away from everyone. "What's up mama?" She stayed quiet as she continued you to walk me towards the parking lot. "Did I do something-" I stopped in my tracks when I saw my father... "What the hell is he doing here?" I tensed up and could feel my getting pissed by the minute. "Teri that's your father" my grandma retorted. "I don't care" that nigga hasn't done anything for me. He wouldn't shit then; he ain't shit now. "You haven't changed a bit Teri. Still angry with the world-" I cut him off "You don't know anything about me" I looked him up and down before clenching my jaw. "You didn't give a shit as to where I laid my head or what I was doing. You abandon me and my brother in a dirty house. What the fuck you want from me?" my grandma gasped. I hate that I'm saying this in front of her, but I'm so pissed I don't care who's watching. "What your tongue young lady" he retorted raising his voice. "Go to hell!" I got louder. My grandma tried shushing me "Teri you're loud the family is going to hear" "I don't care let em all hear!" I yelled. He stepped closer to me closing the gap between him and I. We had an intense stare off. I can't stand this mother fucka. What he did to me is unforgivable... "You're dead to me" "Mommy, can I have soda?" Rocko asked while running up to me breaking my glare from my dad. I looked at him and smiled softly "You can a have a juice" I picked him up and looked back at the both of them. "So this is my handsome grandson. You look just like your mother when she was a little girl" my dad said while looking at Rocko. I rolled my eyes and looked away. I started walking back towards the cook out with Rocko in my arms. I love my grandma dearly but why in the hell would she make me talk to him for? I hate with everything in me. .......................... "Rodney man put the gun down" Derrick said to him breaking me out of my thoughts. I looked at Rodney and he had an emotionless facial expression. What did he tell you? "You don't wanna do this Roc" Derrick said to him. "Whatever he told you is a lie Rocko" I said. "She's just trying to get in your head son" Jerrod said to him. "JERROD SHUT UP!" Aaliyah We been driving for hours and we've stopped at every possible spot in LA that Trey could be. I looked out the window and sighed. "You hungry?" DC asked. "Uh yeah" I said sitting up. "Aight, we can stop at this In and Out Burger right quick recharge then get back at it" he said pulling into the parking lot. He parked and I looked at him. "What's wrong?" "Umm I don't think we should go into together" "Why?" "Paparazzi will get the wrong use and put out a story about us then it's on TMZ and it just looks bad" I explained. "You right you right you know what you want ?" He said as he nodded. "Yeah" I told him what I wanted and some money. "Keep ya money I got it" he said giving me my money back. "You sure?" I asked. "Yeah it's cool " he put the truck in park and got out. I pulled out my phone and went through text messages from Trey and I they were short except for the one as I was making a couple meetings. I was very stressed out about a lot of things. 'I miss you a lot babe. And I want to take the time to tell you that you mean everything in the universe to me. I cant describe how happy you make me and how much I really do love you.' Sent at 5/17/16 3:49pm. I didn't realize how long I was reading that text until I heard Nick open the door. He hands me my food bag. "Thank you" I said with a small smile. "Your welcome" he said putting our drinks in the cup holders. He then puts his bag aside to start to the car and put his seat belt on. We pulled off and started this search again. I took my food out and started to eat a couple fries. "Nick?" I said catching his attention. "Yeah?" He answered with a fry in his mouth. "what if Trey isn't in the state or even in this country?" I asked. It took a moment for him to answer. "I ain't even think about that Li but that's stretching it don't you think?" He said briefly looking at then looking at the road. "Yeah I know it's stretching it but we've looked all over this city" "I don't know where to look ma" he said. "Can we look at least?" I asked. "We'll see" he mumbled. "We'll see? Nick this is an emergency like we can't just wait around-" he cut me off. "Just chill aight we gon find him!" He yelled and I shook my head. Yeah okay.

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