#and like!!! points at the nameless one!!! i need to know more abt them so fucking bad.

[trainingdummyrabbit]

[shaking, in tears] I Fuckign Hate Librarby Of Ruina

[copia-mpreg]

Was thinking about Phantom being a mess after being summoned and then She appeared and wouldn’t get out of my head.

Basically: Ant is depressed and needs a reason to live, Copia helps him by asking for a favor or Phantom can’t take care of himself but he could be convinced to help a baby rat

And shout out to @divine-misfortune for listening to me ramble abt this

Phantom had a harder time adjusting than most. Going from being just a cloud of smoke floating in the aether, from being next to nothing, to suddenly needing to care for a vessel, for this body. He hated it. He hated it more than he could say. Most days he wouldn’t leave his bed, why waste the energy getting up when he could just lay there, watching the sun rise and set reflecting off the bare stone walls. His empty desk, the lonely chair, the vacant closet all covered with accumulated dust.

This hadn’t escaped the other ghouls notice, of course. They were careful not to let the others in the church know the state he was in, knowing how easily a ghoul could just… go away. Especially one so new, a nameless ghoul who wouldn’t be missed.

So it was with great care that Dew went to Copia, to his papal chambers after most of the siblings were already in bed. Copia assured the fire ghoul that he had just the answer.

——

“Knock knock!”

Phantom heard the voice and couldn’t help but roll his eyes. He dragged himself out of bed with a groan and opened the door.

The way the antipope’s eyes widened for a moment was enough for Phantom to realize what he must look like. Not bothering to change into anything besides the basic undergarments they had given him when he was first summoned, his hair a ratty mess piled on top of his head.

“Ah, good to see you ghoul!” Copia finally said, looking Phantom up and down.

Phantom just huffed in reply, hoping his gaze alone could ask his question, ‘why are you here’.

After a moment, Papa cleared his throat. “I.. ah… I hear you’ve been having some troubles, yes?”

Phantom stared back at him blankly, still not hearing the answer he wants.

“Well I suppose I get to the point now.” Copia opened his hands that Phantom hadn’t realized were clasped. In them was a small pink… thing. Phantom leaned down to analyze it: four limbs, a tail, ears not yet opened, eyes and mouth shut tight. It wriggled a little in Copias gloved hand.

“You see, my rat just had a litter of pups, yes? Refuses to take this one, must be too small.” Copia explained, petting the small creature with one finger.

Phantom examined the animal again and suddenly, for once, he felt something. He saw himself in Copia’s palm, helpless. That was him crying out tiny squeaks. They were both so new to the world, which was terrifyingly large for him, he couldn’t imagine what it was like for this tiny thing, this baby.

“You see, I am so very busy with my work, you understand. She needs someone to take care of her” Copia stated, looking Phantom in the eyes.

Phantom didn’t notice the tear welling up until he looked up again and nodded.

“I’ll do it.” Phantom replied, his voice gravelly from disuse.

—

From the outside, Phantom's transformation seemed miraculous. Suddenly he was cleaning himself off, in the library every day researching proper rat care, his room transformed overnight. Phantom could finally be seen wandering around the abbey, always with a crudely hand-sewn pouch around his neck, carrying the baby that had become his reason for living. Even in the wee hours of the night he could be found warming her a bottle, dreary eyed in an oversized shirt, but her needs came first.

It was when her fur finally started to grow in, that was when she earned her name (other than the nicknames Phantom had given her). She slowly turned fluffy and black, with a white streak to exactly match Phantom’s.

“She’s like a mini you! Like a little baby Ant.” Swiss pointed out, giving out his finger for her to sniff.

“Excuse you, Ant is no name for a queen like her.” Phantom defended her honor as he handed her a treat.

“Antoinette, then.” Mountain stated plainly, not glancing up from his book.

“Antoinette…” Phantom repeated. Maybe it was just the treat she had shoved in her cheek, but she seemed to smile.

[willowistic22]

Van life!newsies headcanons

Hello, i have recently been obsessing and/or pining over living in a van/bus. So i will project my pining to my favorite pretty paper boys like what everyone does in the newsies fandom! Very healthy and smart idk lol so here’s my take on this au for each of my ships!

*i know some ppl might not agree with all these ships but these are just my personal favorites pls don’t come after me for something i like :)*

@jaelynn-is-slightly-confused thanks for deciding which headcanons i should write first :)

A pretty long list so you might have to sit down for this one 

Javid

They converted an old american school bus

I actually have a headcanon that modern!jack comes from a rich family (maybe not the family his parents were born into but his parents worked pretty hard to be successful y’know) so that’s how they were able to buy an old school bus

So they were able to fit in a shower (not one of those foldable kinds) and a built in toilet. A pretty decent kitchen. A stove, oven, microwave, and all the other utilities necessary. Was able to fit both a washing machine and a dryer. Has a proper closet.

To fit davey’s needs, they put in a tiny book shelf. But it’s too tiny to fit in all of davey’s book (he’s got a shelf full) and was forced to give some of them away he cried a little. Jack did the same for his art supplies he cried a lot.

Jack is an illustrator and Davey is a writer. (Davey the hopeless romantic Jacobs mostly writes romance wow what a shocker) If Jack can find the time to paint on a canvas he will. It usually ends up getting sold which he doesn’t mind. 

Jack painted every inch of the bus exterior wow we’re all so shocked no we aren’t I lied :) "Jack why...” “We need to be festive when we travel, Dave!” *face palms*

They have one cat which is still nameless in my head so ://

Newsbians

They live in a school bus 

Kathrine’s a Pulitzer so you know how they can freely afford it (now that i think abt it i think old school busses sell for really cheap prices but idk) 

The shower and closet are a must have for Kathrine. She takes over most of the closet space and takes the longest in the shower. Sarah is a foodie so she built herself a whole kitchen and Kathrine is not allowed to touch anything without her permission. Even fitting in a huge fridge. They also fit in a proper working desk and a couch. Also made some sort of balcony on top of their bus so they can stargaze on top of there 

Kathrine is a reporter and Sarah is a physician in the telemedicine industry (she meets patients through video calls and such, not face to face) 

Morning coffee is a tradition for them at this point. They cannot drive the bus without having one cup of coffee 

They have two cats still nameless too ://

Ikeshot (lmao moving to my rarepairs so quickly. i mean i originally reserved the van life headcanon for them but i got too obsessed and now i’m writing this list hehe) 

They settled with a sprinter van 

it started just as an idea for their honeymoon to do a road trip around the us, but it ended up being longer than a hundred days of honeymoon and it turns into being their first proper room 

Their shower is built in and it can only fit one person. The bed takes up the whole back space. Their closet is kinda small but they don’t mind bcs Ike mostly lives in Hotshot’s clothes anyways. The kitchen is limited but they have a pullout barbeque at the back of their van, under their bed. Hotshot is a master at barbequing. 

Ike is a translator and interpreter. He also uses his hobby in crocheting to build a small business he makes cardigans :) (credit to @violetwolfraven for that little idea) Hotshot is an accountant. Very boring ik but i have a headcanon he’s good with numbers so that’s cool (well idk i feel like he’s good with math and economics) 

Bringing the playstation has always been a priority, so they built in a tv. They like to chill in the bed and play together. Mario kart is a ruthless game  

Occasional weird midnight dancing sessions is a tradition 

they have a cat named Sparks and a dog named Lewis. It’s a dalmatian which made Hotshot tempted to name him Spot :) 

*cut to a vicious argument between Spot and Hotshot which was also egged on by Ike and Race* 

Jomike (ok look i love my rarepairs alright pls let me ship in peace) 

They got a sprinter van 

Their kitchen took up most the space bcs mike and jojo are practically professional chefs. When asked to throw down in the kitchen, they will thRO W   D O W N

They even use a teal palette specifically for their kitchen. They have a one person shower but no built in toilet. a fair amount of plants as decoration. in the back of their van, they have a built in pull out dining table and two benches (built under their bed so they’d have to stop and open the back door to have a proper dinner) 

Jojo is a reporter and mike is a computer programmer. Their job requires a proper desk to work on so they just installed a foldable table in between their seats up front. 

their clothes are just stored in cabinets since they share anyways. it leaves a good amount of wall space to play a projector for netflix *cue the soft cuddling in bed* 

breakfast in bed is the most on brand thing for them to do 

they have a cat named Dixeleta. She’s an outdoor cat so they have fun doing outdoor activities together. Hiking, kayaking, etc. 

Sprace 

They live in an old sprinter van Spot got from an old family member

They have the type of bed that can turn into a living room (seats and table etc). They use a foldable shower bcs they want the space. Their kitchen can be extended out with a latch by their sliding door but that’s only when they need to use a stove and oven. Since they’re the type of people that just throws on the closest clothes they can grab they just use cabinets to store their clothes. 

ok i’ve mentioned it before about sprace but i’ll mention it again. They have three cats named Racecat, Spot Clawlon, and Romeow :D all named by race if you’re wondering. 

So Race is a social media manager and Spot is a physician in the telemedicine industry. 

They’re very lazy to constantly look for a coin laundry service. They make a schedule to do the laundry once a week but sometimes they just forget. 

Their first drive of the day will always include karaoke. They can’t tell whether their cats love or hate their singing voice most likely the latter but they’re in denial.

They cuddle each other in bed with their cats. While watching tv, to sleep, or just chilling together. 

Redfinch 

They got a mini bus

They have a built in shower, bathroom, and closet (not sure why since they don’t really care about their clothes all that much) They have a proper kitchen, fit a washing machine and dryer, plus a little seating area with a small table 

They have two big doberman named Zara and Zoey and a cat named Marbles. Pretty outdoor pets so they frequently take them out for hikes and such 

They have a ‘balcony’ on top of their mini bus to chill together. As in all five of them :)

Finch is a music producer and Albert is a photographer and videographer. Albert mostly works with tourist as their personal photographer, but he has land gigs with big companies/people. Finch works with a label that has given him to opportunity to work at home but sometime still need to stop by a studio to meet with artists or other producers. 

Finch only needs space to store his laptop, notebooks, and guitar (but he ends up hanging it on the wall anyways). Albert takes up a whole cabinet for all of his equipment. 

Not Finch waking up at an ungodly hour when a spark of inspiration comes to him, which ends up waking everyone in the bus. *cut to Albert furiously dragging him back to bed*

They installed a tv near their bed for playstation sessions or cuddling throughout a movie

Their driving karaoke is usually accompanied by their dogs which only tortures Marbles. She hides under the blanket to save her ears. smart cat hehe

Snipesmalls (Never wrote anything for them but I do love these girls :)) 

They converted a mini bus 

Sniper takes up most of the closet space, but it doesn’t matter because they share clothes anyways. A built in toilet and shower. Their kitchen has a navy blue theme to it. It was Smalls’ idea. They have a washing machine and dryer and also a proper dining table.

Sniper is a nurse in the telehealth industry (basically just like telemedicine but deals with more than just clinical services) and Smalls is a medical transcriptionist. 

They have an Australian Shepherd named Blue. It’s because of her blue eyes it’s so beautiful :O Blue likes to stick his head out while driving. 

They have a built in tv for their playstation and movies but sometimes they bring out the projector to watch while chilling outside. 

They have done the most traveling. Hopping from the US to Europe and Asia. 

They may like to share clothes but Sniper really likes to be fashionable wherever she goes. “Ok so since we’re planning to go hiking tomorrow, which hat should I use?” “Sniper, we’re hiking up a mountain, not a vogue fashion runway” “And so what if I pretend we are? Use your imagination babe! Now which one?” *sighing*

It is a nightmare to convince Sniper to give away some of their clothes She cries every time her clothes are being given away but gets happy when they go shopping for new ones and it’s the same cycle every time this happens  

They also like to go to music festivals and have picnics together 

Blush 

They live in a mini bus

They rarely buy clothes or give them away plus they share clothes so the closet is pretty small but hella messy because they’re lazy at folding their clothes away. A simple built in shower and also a foldable toilet. The kitchen is pretty equipped because Mush is a master chef. They have a little seating area with a table. Alternating as a working desk and dining table

Mush is a dietitian and Blink is a therapist, both in the telemedicine industry. 

Neither is allowed to drive if they haven’t gotten their morning coffee 

Mush is mostly then one doing the karaoke while Blink drives 

they like to have picnics together

goes to random concerts. it doesn’t need to be a really big artist. they’d simply be happy if they get tickets to any sort of concert. They prefer to see local underground artists to discover more music and such but they sometimes save up to watch big artists too. 

they’ve only been around the us and canada but are planning on going to other countries too 

Belmerttons 

they live in an old school bus 

So buttons is a huge fashionista so there is a proper closet and drawers that are mostly used by himself. A built in bathroom and the door has a mirror per buttons request. they also fit a washing machien and dryer in the bus per buttons request too. Their bed is full of decorative pillows and a few stuffed animals per elmer’s request. Their kitchen is small but does the trick. also has a little seating area with a table 

Buttons is a fashion stylist but also a designer. Elmer is a math tutor for all ages

they love going to different kind of events and festivals. one of the reasons why they wanted to live on the road in the first place 

to get buttons to give away his old clothes, elmer has to assure him it’s for a good cause bcs buttons loves all his clothes. Buttons still get a little sad and pouty when those days come but picks himself up again when elmer offers a disney movie night on the projector with some snacks

oh yes, they bring lots of snacks on the road 

They have a cat. still nameless soz 

the cat is very fluffy and sheds a lot. which is kind of a problem especially on buttons clothes 

“you’re lucky you have a cute face” -buttons while he’s cleaning the fur off his clothes 

Spromeo 

they live in a mini bus but kinda looks like a hippie van (idk how to describe it but it’s a mini bus with a hippie kind of style to it yknow) 

they have two separate areas in the bus. one up front where the driver and passenger seat is. also coupled with a tiny sofa and a table. that’s where they do their work and dine. very comfy and cozy. 

it’s seperated by a thin wooden wall. through the doorway is where the rest of their living quarters are. a bed, small kitchen but fully equipped, a shower, and foldable toilet. instead of a closet, they use a dresser since they don’t really have many clothes anyways 

so specs is a history teacher and tutor for all ages. (he’s a history nerd hehe). Romeo is a photographer and cinematographer. mostly a tourist photographer (kinda like albert yknow) 

specs likes reading history books, but he mostly does his reading on his tablet and laptop to save space. the same for romeo and comics btw 

their bed is full of pillows 

they have a cat named snowy. a lazy indoor cat. but she loves to cuddle with them in bed

they’ve also done some traveling to other countries. mostly neighboring countries but are dreaming of going to places in europe and asia. 

they enjoy doing lots of board games when they’re not driving 

romeo has a ukulele which he constantly uses to serenade to specs. sometimes to snowy but mostly specs 

woah that was long akjghflkjasfbj; h. will i write a oneshot with this headcanon? maybe but who knows. just needed to put it out there that i’m pining on living on the road with the loml and some cats and go on an adventure together. anyways hope whoever reads this enjoy and sorry for writing a long headcanon list hehe 

[amandabe11man]

a VERY LONG post about Hell on Wheels

YEAH i forgot about this post in my drafts... it’s been like a year since i finished the show now and i feel i’ve barfed everything out into this post (that i can think of), so here it goes (you’ll have to shield your eyes after the spoiler warning if you don’t wanna be spoiled btw. i can’t seem to be able to add a read more-link...) :

SO... i finished watching “hell on wheels” at last, pm half a year since i started. it’s funny because i was under the impression that i’d sOMEHOW be able to binge all five seasons within just one month (reason: i wanted to watch it before my free trial on HBO’s website went out). honestly, that wouldn’t have been possible because it was a LOT more emotionally draining than you’d think at first glance... after being gutpunched three times in a row in season 4, any reasonable human would need a little break.

anyway, it feels-- weird. i’ve never been big on following tv-shows so i haven’t been able to relate to that feeling ppl describe once they’ve finished a show they’ve become so attached to, except NOW i can relate. the show’s not groundbreaking, it’s not perfect, but i’ve had a lot of fun. what a ride it’s been...

looking back, i’d say HOW’s biggest weakness is its tendency to forget or ignore certain plot points. i guess that’s not too weird, with such an arsenal of characters, but still, i find that’s what bugged me the most, if anything bugged me at all. for example--

[SPOILERS for those who might wanna watch it after seeing me go on abt it, idk]:

first off, what REALLY grinds my gears is how ezra dutson’s plotline was handled. it was set up perfectly in the beginning; having him escape from the swede (who promised him that, and i quote: “i’ll find you, ezra! i always do”), the original plan was obviously for ezra and the swede to “reunite” some time in the future so that ezra could tell everyone that the swede killed his parents, thus tying up loose ends and giving some closure to that whole arc. some might say this would’ve been too predictable, but i would rather have that predictable storyline than having it just end unceremoniously like it did, with ezra dying ACCIDENTALLY and off-screen by sidney snow’s hand, simply as a way to further bohannon’s pain and set the stage for ruth’s final arc. this might’ve been fine, if the writers had made it so that ezra actually, y’know, TOLD SOMEONE WHY HE’S AN ORPHAN TO BEGIN WITH. but they didn’t even give the viewer that form of closure, instead just deciding to use him as a plot device for the other characters’ increased angst... bohannon and the others were never even made aware of ezra’s last name, and this is all what bugs the everliving SHIT outta me: the only ones who know, or will EVER know, ezra’s full story is the swede and the viewer, tho after season 4′s end, ezra is never mentioned or acknowledged again-- not by bohannon, and not even by the swede. ezra went from convenient character with a PURPOSE to “nameless” orphan forgotten by history. thanks, writers...

then there’s the whole deal with campbell coming to town to reinforce The Law™, which wasn’t a bad arc, mind you-- campbell and his goons were the most infuriating little shits for a while there-- but the thing is; didn’t campbell LIE to his men about the president giving him the position as governor? i might’ve misunderstood it, but i’m PRETTY sure the president didn’t give him THAT much of an upstanding role, but that campbell just went ahead and took that position anyway? if that was indeed the case, then that’s another plot hole, cause nobody finds out about campbell’s possible trickery to become the governor. nobody rats him out, despite literally no one in “his” town liking him all that much, so they’d have no reason to protect his “secret”. (correct me if i’m wrong on this one though. i might be misremembering things)

then there’s the other pretty infuriating issue of bad guys never getting called out for doing bad shit (unless it’s the swede, who gets all the blame, all the time), for example:

major dick bongbendix(???idk he had a silly name like that) is presented VERY MUCH as a bad guy in the beginning. y’know, just casually beheading natives on all his missions and collecting those heads and taking them to the bar like a fucking nutcase-- those little details. he also seemed to believe in racial biology, so yeah, definitely not a good guy. but by the end, he’s been watered down into some quirky guy who’s ALMOST on friendly terms with the main characters. yeah, uh-- seems everyone (writers included) collectively forgot the whole public display of cut-off heads he had going on...

aaron hatch: started off as a guy too proud for his- or his family’s own good when he shot the police officer, BLAMED IT ON HIS FUCKING SON and then just kinda let bohannon hang the kid even though it was pretty obvious hatch was just shifting the blame away from himself. THEN he reappears with some other mormons and causes a full-on shootout in the town (probably getting some people killed, i don’t remember), TAKES EZRA (also a mormon) HOSTAGE SO THAT BOHANNON WILL COME WITH THEM WILLINGLY and passive aggressively forces bohannon to marry his daughter who bohannon knocked up. somewhere along the line, hatch’s bad side is just thrown to the wind, and bohannon at one point describes him as “a good man”. yeah, ABOUT THAT--

sean and mickey mcginnes: unlike the ones mentioned above, these two started out as seemingly decent dudes, but ended up pm as secondary villains in the end. however, like the ones mentioned above, they hardly face any consequences for whatever crap it was they did in boston, OR the fact that they killed and fucking mutilated/dismembered a man in cold blood (a man who WAS gonna kill them, yes, but HE did it because he thought they had killed his friend, which wasn’t a farfetched idea since mickey DID brag about killing the dude even though he didn’t actually do it). sure, they face their OWN demons as time goes on, they get ostracized, and they start losing faith in each other as well, which ends up with mickey killing sean before the latter can confess(?) his/their crimes. so, while sean was spineless and a creep, at least he thought about finally owning up to what he’d done in the end, whereas mickey lives on to keep doing shady shit, killing people, and getting increasingly more corrupt. he does end up pursuing new goals in the end, but it’s obvious he’s not happy about it anymore. that’s-- really all the comeuppance he ever gets, and the only one who knows about his shady businesses are pm just bohannon, durant and eva (also, personal gripe here-- they seemed to not settle for “just” tarring and feathering the swede and publicly humiliating him, but i’m pretty sure i recall mickey telling bohannon they were thinking about having the swede killed too. keep in mind, this was BEFORE the swede truly lost it and started killing people left and right. apparently, being kind of a douche about taxes is bad enough to warrant being tortured and cast out by the entire community... i’m obviously biased here, but still-- the mcginnes bros’ double standards are amazing to behold)

now that i’ve aired some of that out-- here are some highlights, according to me:

unexpected friendships, like that between eva and durant. i’d say the swede finding that stray dog and fawning all over him qualifies into this category too

durant and campbell fighting in the mud before finally coming to an agreement -- just- durant and his competitors being petty as fuck, honestly. it’s hilarious

bohannon trying to get through to elam by reminiscing about their friendship, especially since bohannon isn’t one to show his feelings often OR get sappy -- in fact, EVERY time bohannon loses his stoic facade is a good moment. when he was gonna bury elam and he just broke down completely for the first time since we were introduced to him... that shit had me in tears as well, but man was it a great scene

jimmy two-squaws

every time the swede opens his mouth (yes, even when he’s spouting some lies and bullshit like that)

ruth’s character development. i admit i didn’t like her at all in the beginning, idk something just felt off about her, but man did she ever grow on me. just-- how everyone kinda relied on her eventually, even though she’s only like in her 20′s or something... she still became a pillar of the community. bless ya, ruth :’ı -- also, her essentially adopting ezra was Pure as heck. I Lov it

the fact that this was the 1800′s and the only backlash the (openly) LGBT characters faced for it was pm just “yeah they’re a bit confused maybe but they’re not hurting anyone”. maybe that’s not very realistic but WHO GIVES A SHIT AMIRITE

mr tao just being a sweet old man

chang’s sunglasses, straight out of Django Unchained

mr toole’s complete heel-turn from racist POS to someone who sticks by his word to turn himself around. that shit was impressive coming from him, tbh

bohannon just calmly running into a buffalo by the train tracks

mei posing as a grown man instead of a boy (which is what she looks and sounds like, oml)

another thing i realized is that bohannon is a classic gary stu. there’s just no getting around that fact after seeing him being revered by most everyone he meets, how he’s somehow the only person able to build the railroad(s) fast and efficiently, and even wooing the literal PRESIDENT and becoming close friends with him-- all this despite his Bold and Brash personality. of course, there’s more to bohannon than these gary stu-symptoms, but i felt someone should bring it up, for the lulz

[red-sterling]

thanks for answering!! i hope you don't mind if i send more charas...how about green and/or lillie?

fhgjkfdg aw yea thank u!! hopefully this doesn’t publish before i’m done typing lol

also this definitely needs a readmore bc i got emotional abt Green oops

Green

favorite thing about them

first of all: the fact that Green canonically has a rivals to best friends arc with Red fills me with so much joy and YES they are on their alolan honeymoon you cannot convince me otherwise

okay like. gen 1 Green just perfectly encompasses what it’s like to be a ten year old in a way? like ofc he’s written like a kid bc he is a kid, but i feel like the writing on him just feels so genuine as compared to some of the other 10 yr old rivals you get in other regions. even though he’s kinda a brat at the start, he kinda eases up a bit as you go along your journey and starts giving you progressively nicer/more praise-y end lines when you beat him (going from “i picked the wrong pokémon!” to “so, you are ready for boss rocket!”) but still retains this childlike rivalry and competitiveness and i love that about him

and like. fucking beating him at the Indigo League still completely breaks my heart because even after he did become the champion at age 10 the first thing that happens is you beat him and Prof Oak just yells at him for being bad at things and like. ow. 

this is why i headcanon that Red actually took awhile longer to get to Green like please. please give my boy a chance to be happy and proud

also Red was caught up with Team Rocket anyway so i imagine he must’ve fallen a little behind at some point? anyway

the development on him across regions is so choice!!! he’s so much more mellow and even kinda melancholic when you find him in gsc/hgss, like he’s calmed down over a few years and he obviously misses Red so much but like, it’s clear that Red is kinda the reason Green does settle down and he seems to have worked on his character and become a nicer person - and he still has that sassy flair to him! he’s just got that gradual slope from asshole rival to kinda aloof gym leader to friendly/sassy battle legend and aaaaa i love my boy so MUCH

also huge point: he’s so fucking driven??? he’s got the most drive and the most passion for battles/pokémon in general out of all the rivals i feel. he’s only closely matched by Silver, but Silver seems to be more aggressive than passionate, and somewhat out of necessity too (like, Giovanni abandoned him what was he to do), whereas Green just really like. he genuinely just cares so much about battles and about pokémon in general! he literally calls you in hgss and just rants about how many different kinds of pokémon there are in the world!!!

also in Alola he’s like???? just so sweet?????? he congratulates you and is like hey you’re really strong lets battle like!!!!!!!!! supportive boy!!!!! he has come so far over so many generations and i cry

also on Four Island when you play frlg he legitimately says “Be smelling ya!” when he leaves and how do you not love this idiot

least favorite thing about them

i mean. while i get that you beat Green right after he becomes the champion in the kanto games i feel like there should’ve been more pomp and circumstance for him and i’ll never forgive gamefreak for giving this boy his dream, then making you rip it away from him, and then watching his own gramps yell at him for fucking up like. again it’s that drive, i get why Red keeps such good pace w Green but i just feel like he worked so hard and he deserved so much better than that

also while i’m very biased towards him bc Big Emotions, i feel like if i knew this boy irl who was constantly i’m so great and you’re a loser i would probably punch him eventually lmao. in theory it’s kinda endearing but as a real person that’d be grating 

favorite line

on one hand, “smell ya later” is so fucking iconic, but on the other - 

“I’m Blue. Man, this guy called Red brought me down in a heartbeat. I haven’t seen him in a long time…I wonder where he is and what he’s up to… Come to think of it, you look a little bit like Red. Yeah, you do. Just…Just a little bit. Whatever…”

my namelessshipping heart

ALSO NOT CANON BUT GREEN RANTING TO YOU ABOUT RED AND GETTING SO DISTRACTED THAT HE FORGETS TO GIVE YOU THE POKÉDEX????? BIG GAY

brOTP

for long elaborate headcanon reasons, i see him as being a good brotp with Kris - i headcanon her as also being really driven the way Green is, but more quiet about it, she’s kinda a good balance to him and they probably do pokemon research together. i also feel like she kept him sane while Red was still missing/before they found him on a fuckin mountain

OTP

do i really need to tell you that i’m 100% namelessshipping

like they perfectly balance each other. Green has all this energy and all this spunk and Red is just like… so opposite of him y'know? he’s quiet and he’s more measured in his behavior i feel, he doesn’t really rush into things as much, and yet they both really just took Kanto by storm when they were kids, and i like how they have this foil dynamic and are both still so successful? they’re so different and they complement each other in that way, and they both find success in their own ways

like one of the reasons i hate that Green’s championship gets undersold so much is that he did beat you to the punch, and he has been one step ahead of you, and there’s so much passion there and it’s so loud - and yet you as Red are just as driven, you take down Team Rocket, you’re always right on his tail, so close but not quite there, you’re the only one who can keep up with him and you’re the only one he cares enough about to slow down for

so like. idk with even all my headcanons about namelessshipping aside (and i can infodump those another day lol), i feel like the in-game representation of them just works. they just work so well together, they balance each other without ever holding each other back, and there’s something really beautiful about that in a relationship y'know

…..i feel bad abt not putting as much infodump about isshushipping now but oh well

nOTP

i don’t really have a notp with him? i kinda like. i basically just do namelessshipping, but i don’t get a visceral eugh when i see other ships with him, just kinda a well it’s not nameless so i’ll be on my way. idek what other ships w him are popular?? i’ve been in nameless hell since 2012 so 

random headcanon

while Red is still living on Mount Silver, Green is not coping well with having him so far away, and so Green massively overworks himself to the point that he keeps just not being in his gym sometimes bc he’s bouncing between the gym, training multiple teams, pokémon research, and ofc going to visit Red whenever he can. this leads him to be kinda temperamental after he’s been working on 2 hours of sleep a day for like a week until he just has an emotional meltdown and crashes, and then he gets right back into it because he has no self preservation

…….. nicer headcanon; Red can only cook two (2) foods, so Green cooks all the food for them when they move in together. he has attempted to teach Red how to cook, but Red pretends not to understand so Green will keep making him food. Green knows Red is faking it and doesn’t call him out bc he thinks it’s cute

unpopular opinion

look i’ve played through classic red version a few times and when i say he wasn’t that much of a jerk, i do genuinely mean he was not that much of a jerk. he’s like ten. ten year olds are just Like That. i guess this isn’t too unpopular anymore but it was Back In The Day and in some parts of the fandom he’s still seen as a jerk and like Bro He Is Ten In RGB/FRLG cut him some slack

also genuinely unpopular - Green is taller than Red. i know namelessshipping has fallen into the bara Red and twink Green trope but i refuse to let go of tall Green/short Red fuckin fight me why dont you

song i associate with them

a lot of the Pray For The Wicked album by Panic! at the Disco gives me Green vibes, more for the sound than for lyrics necessarily, but for some reason Roaring 20s just like. has the sound of Green to me. it’s somewhere between flamboyant pride and underlying insecurity that i think really encapsulates Green (or at least his subtext)

favorite picture of them

i genuinely love his let’s go concept art he’s such a sweet good boy?? 

and for the life of me i cannot find the op source on this but this is my fave pic of Green/namelessshipping in general that i’ve had saved since like 2012 maybe???

yeah if anyone can help me source that i’d appreciate it bc reverse image search only brings me to pinterest and random wattpad links :/

update: source seems to be the artist くる (pixiv id=982894) on pixiv, even though the original post got taken down (ty anon!)

Lillie

favorite thing about them

by now i guess you know im a sucker for character development, but i think they did a really good job with her!! i feel like her turn is a bit more in moments than it is with Green, who gradually evolves (lol) over the course of Kanto/all the gens overall. you see more discrete moments where Lillie starts to shift and gain confidence in herself and i am so proud of her ???? like the way she gets excited when she sees Olivia doin’ her z-move stuff, she starts buying her own clothes and getting ahead of you, etc etc

and like, she still has moments where she’s scared, there’s still some fundamental Lillie in there yknow? you don’t lose any of that softness that characterizes Lillie, she just like… she gets better, she develops without losing her Lillie vibe and i love that abt her. she overcomes a lot of the shit she had to deal with when she was stuck with Lusamine, she stands up to Lusamine eventually, and ghfdkjsg gah she’s a sweet gorl i love and appreciate her

also like. the writing on her backstory is so subtle in-universe. like yeah she literally looks like Lusamine’s daughter and you see her in the opening cutscene leaving Aether, but as the protagonist - like as Selene lets say, there’s little hints about where Lillie came from, and if you suspend your disbelief and put yourself in the pc’s shoes, there’s subtly to her character arc that i like 

also like. when she changes her outfit and starts being more protagonist-y, like more confident and kinda bubbly instead of shy??? love that shit it’s so cute can i have custody of this child pls

least favorite thing about them

i like. sometimes feel like she’s too soft of a character for me to really get into? like i love her and Hau, they’re sweet good friends, but i tend to personally gravitate towards characters that create a little more tension (ie Green and N)

(though on that note, Hau can be kinda savage. he just calls Faba out and sarcastically calls Gladion “a ray of sunshine” at some point i think?? Lillie is just very tender and i will support her forever, but i think that also makes her almost too soft to keep me fixated on her yknow. it’s not even a flaw in her character but just not something i fawn over as much)

favorite line

“I’m so glad I got to meet everyone. I’m so glad I got to meet you.”

like that ending kills me but that line almost feels like. I Feel That So Much like i feel so happy to have met all these new characters and to have played these games, and i feel like some of the player’s energy and enjoyment of the game is channeled into this last line of hers 

also GET IN THE BAG

brOTP

probably her and Hau?? idk, i don’t have a specific brotp for her but i like her just hangin around w the other Alola kids, so like her, Hau, Gladion, and the protag kids. they’d raise hell together and Lillie continues to be the only one with some impulse control

(Gladion also has some impulse control but keeps getting annoyed by Hau and so he gets dragged into their nonsense anyway)

OTP

Selene and Lillie is. Good. idk what the ship name is but it’s canon

nOTP

i dont even know if people ship her with Gladion but incest is a big no-no in my house

random headcanon

when she goes to Kanto, i bet she’d pick Bulbasaur as a starter if she was given the opportunity - and if not, she’d probably catch a wild Vulpix 

unpopular opinion

idk if have any unpopular opinions for her?? 

song i associate with them

i have no reason to associate this with her but the Rainy Day theme from acgc just. has a vibe about it. i think a lot of ac music feels like it suits her

favorite picture of them

i found this art of her through a lofi remix of her theme awhile back and it’s so pleasing to look at? her hair is nice and the colors are so warm n happy gjhkfdgf

if you read this far, congratulations!!! and i’m sorry

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

OBC Hadestown Recording Review by a Non-Professional that you didn’t ask for

Alt. click-bait title: THEMES! THEMES! THEMES!

so i just listened to the Hadestown OBCR

so as practice, i’m going to do this review (i have a lot to say if you hadn’t noticed) like a sandwich--positives, mixed, neutral, negatives, more positives

and yes, I compare it to the NY version. it would be Impossible for me not to, considering that’s all I had for years. but I did listen to it with an open mind and wide-eyed excitement

YAS QUEEN

Amber Grey and Patrick Page, lovely as always

I’m glad they introduced Hades in “Road To Hell” also that Hermes is like...is there another god? oh yeah, ME!

Eva Noblezada was AMAZING and I love her Eurydice

Reeve Carney sounds like an wide-eyed, naive, optimistic musician and it’s Wonderful

the overall themes and a more cohesive story--like there were of course themes threaded thru the NY recording, but the themes were much stronger in this version

Hermes being Orpheus’s mentor, rather than just the narrator and occasionally interacting with Orpheus bc he can? the exchange between them reads less like “I’m kind of picking on your bc you’re an artist” and more like “yikes, bro, you messed up. and bc I’m your mentor, and the god of Travelers, I’mma help you out a little”

oh yes, LOVE LOVE LOVE “Wedding Song” and oh, I LOVED that he sang his song in this version (hope to see what happens on stage some day ;_;)

the OBC version of “Livin’ it Up on Top” is still fun as always and I love they included the joke “to hell and back”

Orpheus’s lyrics in “All I’ve Ever Known” are So. Soft. our soft, poor boy Orpheus

Reeve and Eva’s voices fit together really well and I’m cry

“A Gathering Storm” is just Gorgeous storytelling right there, mmhmm. And oh shit, the “It’s not supposed to be like this” damn. And Eurydice’s “bring the world back into tune” Love it.

oh dude, the doubt in “Epic II” mirroring Orpheus’s later doubt poetictheater.jpeg

the lead in from “Epic II” to “Chant” always Great. And oh man, loved more of the storytelling and Eurydice’s lyrics in “Chant” okay but the juxtaposition of Hermes telling Orpheus telling him to look up while the Chorus chants to keep your head low oh jeez. And Eva sounds Great in “Chant” like DAMN

shaken, not stirred

Andre De Shields, sorry bro.

intellectual: I think his performance was great and the way he portrays Hermes fits really well with the style and aesthetic of Hadestown.

emotional: unfortunately, I don’t like his voice. and yes, I’m definitely biased for NY Hermes, but this is like a personal preference type thing. his voice is like the opposite of a stim for me... :\ which is unfortunate, because I did enjoy his performance

“Road To Hell” is before “Any Way The Wind Blows”

intellectual: it definitely fits this version, and I really liked hearing more about Eurydice and understanding her struggles and why falling in love with Orpheus is such a big thing for her

emotional: but I kinda liked the order in the NY version. it kinda felt like a preface to the story itself, and like even tho Hermes is the narrator, beginning with a song the Fates sing, it shows who’s truly in charge (they DO in fact control the speed at which lobsters die)

tho if I’m being honest, “Livin’ it Up on Top” doesn’t quite have that kick the NY version has. idk if instruments or missing or there isn’t enough ppl singing, but there’s just something missing, which takes a little of the fun out of it

It again feels like something is missing from “Way Down Hadestown” :\

intellectual: I guess I understand why they gave Orpheus’s lyrics to the Fates and Hermes (bc like how would he know what it’s like down there, truly?)

emotional: but I also didn’t like it bc as I’ll talk abt a lot in a min, it really takes away from Reeve’s performance

I’m actually super disappointed that Reeve/Orephus wasn’t featured as much as in the NY recording. his voice is almost completely drowned out almost entirely through “Wait For Me.”

intellectual: I quite enjoyed that the rest of the cast acted as the stones echoing back his song, and that it fit with and strengthened the overall themes and plot of the musical. I’m glad that this version has a more cohesive story and stronger themes

emotional: but it was no longer about Orpheus and his journey, and I think they could’ve kept the themes while also featuring Reeve’s voice. esp in such an Iconic song for Orpheus like “Wait For Me”

“If It’s True” I was tempted to put this in the negatives section bc I feel like it really takes away from Orpheus’s story (get ready to here a lot of repetition sorry not sorry fam). but there are some things I liked abt it.

intellectual: I liked that in the OBC version, that it was more abt the theme they’d introduced abt the workers’/chorus’s struggle and Hades’s struggle to keep them nameless, so to speak. I also did like that they show Orpheus’s worldview change. and fucking finally gave Reeve a chance to shine (kinda, with interjections from Hermes and the Chorus)

emotional: but I do think they went abt it the wrong way, bc I liked that it addressed just Orpheus and his feelings of what’s gone on (specifically Eurydice belonging to Hades) in the NY version, and I didn’t like that in the OBC version that it Was more abt the themes. I also felt like it got a little preachy. Like that’s not what I thought the original “If It’s True” was abt yo. I get it fits with the overall theme and message they want to get across, but I don’t think their execution was that Great :\ I also really liked that in the NY version, him just being sad is what moved both Persephone and the Chorus

“Wait For Me (Reprise)” is the same as with “Wait For Me”

intellectual: I’m not saying  that the new, stronger themes are bad or anything--like I’ve said, I Loved that they strengthened the themes and made the musical more cohesive overall.

emotional:

(+): Okay but also I really Love Eurydice singing what Orpheus sang in “Wait For me”

(-): Reeve’s voice is often drowned out and it’s no longer about his and Eurydice’s story as much (it’s in the very first song! “brother, thus, begins the tale of ORPHEUS AND EURYDICE”). I really do think they could have gone about it in a way that highlights Reeve as Orpheus AND keeps with the theme and the message they wanted to get across by including the Chorus. I mean look! Look! Reeve stands off to the side or isn’t singing for like ALMOST THE WHOLE SONG DUDE. he gets 36 measly seconds singing in this song, I timed it. it’s a 3 mins and 12 second song. and most of those seconds are spent singing the song with the chorus (I do not, however, really count the times Hermes is speaking bc those lines are Great and when Eurydice is singing at the end, but Still!). like I said, I’m so glad they have Eurydice singing his song back to him, but I Really Do Think they could have composed it so it was still Orpheus’s song (with Hermes, and Eurydice at the end, keep that of course!), but held those stronger themes.

“Doubt Comes In” ...like at this point, are you even surprised?

intellectual: strong themes. great. okay.

emotional:

(+):  I Loved Eurydice’s part in this, encouraging Orpheus even tho he can’t hear her. I also did love that they added in Orpheus’s thoughts--pique drama, I LOVED it

(-): third verse, same as the first (and second): Reeve just wasn’t featured as much as I would have liked him to be! the Fates get the lines Orpheus used to sing! when Orpheus sang, “where are you? where are you now?” the first time more steady and sing-song-y, the second time more desperate (but still beautiful holy shit Damon Daunno was Amazing) as he starts to go out of his mind,,, i felt that and i’m incredibly disappointed (and angry lbr) that they took those lines away from Orpheus.

not really a point, but this needs its own bullet point: it just does Reeve a huge disservice, bc he’s a Great Orpheus. I Loved his Orpheus, but the fact that he’s taken out of so much of the story he’s the protagonist in detracts severely from his performance, and it’s a damn shame

I did really liked that they made the “la la la” more complicated in “Epic III” and when Persephone and Hades danced, and how it was softer, but I also liked how powerful the “la la la” crescendo as Hermes, Persephone (I believe) and the Chorus joined in along with the instruments was in the NY version so,,, ¯\_( : \ )_/¯

I don’t think they changed any of the lyrics for “Road To Hell (Reprise)” (they added stuff, sure) but it sounded and felt different, and I’m upset that it wasn’t the same as the NY. it’s in this section tho, bc it was still good (think I like the NY version just slightly better, but I do like the OBC version too, but for different reasons)

neutral(ish)

the change of characters who says/sings lines isn’t my fave, but it’s not bad either and, based on the theme and more cohesive storyline, it makes sense

I’m trying to decide if Patrick Page’s descent from a higher vocal range into a lower one is a stylistic choice, but I don’t feel one particular way about it or another (except for the fact that it didn’t sound like him I questioned if it was at first)...tho the bass drops for “Hey Little Songbird” so maybe it was a stylistic choice and if so, Brilliant! (but it will stay in this spot since I can’t tell if that was intentional)

I’m a little surprised they didn’t give Eurydice her spot light in “Why We Build the Wall” but it’s not like it changes the story much. I think I just liked that she stood out, and with those lyrics, bc it’s dramatic irony--we know her mistake but she doesn’t yet realize that it is a mistake she’s made

“Word to the Wise” it was good. not great. I liked NY version better, but I think I mildly like NY Fates better bc they sang in a very harsh and solid way. like in some parts the OBC Fates do too, but not in the songs where it matters (to me)

the changes made to the Epics. I liked the more story-telling aspect of them, but I also didn’t quite love the changes. but the songs themselves were still p great, so (it’s here, rather in the mixed section) bc I don’t particularly feel as strong one way or another abt the NY Epics compared to the OBC Epics

Once again, I feel like smth is missing from “Word to the Wise” :\ like some kind of instrument to really push it into extraordinary, to hold it up. But the Fates were a little better at being brutal so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i guess

hard no, babe

that being said, regarding first point in the neutral section, I didn’t like that they took away (even) more of Orpheus’s lines because it then removes (even) more of his voice, when he’s HALF THE FEATURE OF THE STORY. I know it’s really about two love stories (and like I said before, it does strengthen the themes and overall storyline), but the main focus was Orpheus and Eurydice !!!

the sound of the train whistle. mmm, I’ll pass. it’s so dinky. bring back the NY train!

The way Reeve says/sings some of his lines (not all of ‘em tho) could use some work? doesn’t sound great. didn’t love it. idk if it was a stylistic choice on the director’s part or Reeve’s own choices in how he wanted to play Orpheus, but I didn’t agree with them. I think he uses his falsetto a little too much for some lines. And let me tell you, was very afraid they were going to do that three-voice thing (like in the concept album) when Orpheus meets Eurydice. glad they didn’t, but I also didn’t really think they needed it at all

I’m actually uber disappointed they took out the old radio sound for Hermes in “Wait For Me.” I just really liked it man.

ngl, I. was. Heartbroken. when they’d changed the lyrics to Epic III (which is why it’s in this section :\). Esp like I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY CHANGED “where is the man, WITH HIS HAT IN HIS HANDS, who stands in the garden, with nothing to lose” (emphasis mine). like, again, i understand the changes were made to keep with the themes introduced, BUT can you Imagine. holding the whole world in your arms (when Hades gets the girl) compared to holding something so small and insignificant (BEFORE Hades gets the girl). COME ON! it’s like the perfect juxtaposition AND I thought it made Hades much more human AND it still keeps with the themes. (tho I am glad they kept that part at all bc when I realized how much of “Epic III” they changed, I was worried they’d taken that part out too. it’s in this section tho bc the changes are unforgivable overall)

Come Home With Me I and II (Reprise) !!! I’m extremely sad they changed the lyrics so much. Admittedly, I do like the first “Come Home With Me” introducing his song that will bring spring back. But the changes are too unforgivable for me to put it in the mixed section. I really liked Orpheus’s proposal in “Come Home With Me II” in the NY version and that repetition of “say I do, I came all the way just to ask you to” and then the Fates step in and are like, “Mmm, sorry boo, she belongs to Hades now” and the song ending with Eurydice saying “I do” but with a totally different meaning. like okay, the OBC version fits more with the theme, and I’m glad they still kinda included it in “Papers” (I do actually like the way it’s composed in “Papers” if I’m being honest, the “I did. I do.” just,,, hits me) but it’s too unforgivable to put in the mixed section. OH GOD and. esp,,, okay Listen. HOW could they take out “are you always this confident?” // “when I look at you I am” and then later hearing Hades sing, “Orpheus the undersigned SHALL NOT LOOK BEHIND // SHE’S OUT OF SIGHT and he’s out of his mind” LIKE COME ON MAN that was Perfect AND YOU TOOK IT OUT ???

the Fates in their “Way Down Hadestown (Reprise)” I Loved the NY bc they Tore into Eurydice (I love my girl, but that song is a Bop and they are Ruthless). the way they sang, it was harsh and cutting. in the OBCR...not so much. It’s too sing-songy and embellished (is the best way I can explain it), and I was disappointed bc it was one of my fave songs in the NY version. not to mention, I Did Not Like Eurydice’s lyric changes. and I know that it strengthens the themes, and I did actually like that they showed Eurydice losing herself as she worked (esp bc it adds more to “Flowers” and again strengthens the thread linking the songs), but I disliked it as a whole enough that it can’t be saved to be moved into the mixed section

OH NO I. CANNOT. BELIEVE. THEY CHANGED “YOU’RE EARLY” // “I MISSED YOU” TO “IT’S YOU” // “IT’S ME” // “ORPHEUS” // “EURYDICE” FUCK YOUR THEMES but for real, I think keeping “you’re early” // “I missed you” would’ve have kept with the theme way more than what they changed it to bc 1) they’re referencing smth the two litchrally just said to each other. and 2) THAT’S WHAT PERSEPHONE AND HADES SAID TO EACH OTHER WHEN HE CAME TO GET HER FROM HADESTOWN AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SHOW. it’s a theme that’s introduced in the beginning of the musical--“it’s a tale from long ago”--bc Persephone and Hades’s relationship was SUPPOSED to mirror Orpheus and Eurydice right? there’s the fact that Orpheus’s song is what Hades heard long ago like ??? a HUGE Point of Orpheus and Eurydice’s love story was to remind Persephone and Hades about the love they shared when they first met (“wait for me?” // “I will”). and gosh darn it, it still would’ve fit the themes if they had stuck with “you’re early” // “I missed you” bc of that!

SPEAKING OF I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY TOOK OUT PERSEPHONE’S LYRICS IN “CHANT (REPRISE)” LIKE WHAT like it worked so well !!! (esp bc I’ve read reviews of the show, with Hades and Persephone circling Orpheus and Eurydice as they’re dueling and switching the direction they walk when the chorus makes that “kch” noise like poetictheater.jpeg) it was such a good juxtaposition between what Hades thinks Persephone wants and what Persephone actually wants (I do like that “Chant (Reprise)” is more complicated composition-wise, but not enough to move it into the mixed section). ALSO “He said we’d build ‘em up // And then the walls would set us free” // “Is it true, what he said?” // “He said we’d soldier on // And then the war would bring us peace.” I thought that got across the message quite well in the NY version, esp since they were echoing Orpheus’s “if it’s true.” they’re also just Great lines and I Cannot Believe they took them out 

YAS QUEEN

I’m a HOE for singing in the round, and the beauty of Orpheus’s “la la la la” joined in by the chorus in “Wait For Me” got me like. OKAY AND THE LYRIC ADDITIONS I LITERALLY CANNOT IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL AND POETIC AND GOOD WHEN ORPHEUS SANG “I HEAR THE ROCKS AND STONE, ECHOING MY SONG, I’M COMING”

I mean,,, how can you Not like “Our Lady of the Underground.” I also really enjoyed the more jazzy feel. Like it was already jazzy, but it’s even more jazzy in this version, to me

if you couldn’t tell, I loved Reeve and his Orpheus

“Papers” is Great and idk why but I Love “everything and everyone in Hadestown, I own.”

oh shit dude, Orpheus’s song being something from long ago that he like picked up on bc Greek mythology be like that and then HADES RECOGNIZING THE SONG. THAT. WAS. BRILLIANT.

“Flowers” felt like it fit much better in this version, with the themes being stronger and all that. also could actually hear it clearly, so that could be why bc I’m pretty sure they didn’t change a single lyric lol. still Loved it

the lyric additions to “Wait For Me” I’M SCREAM SO GOOD (even tho I’ve mentioned this before lmao)

“How Long” was. so. good. I just really enjoyed the exchange between Persephone and Hades in this song

DUDE I JUST REALIZED “NOW I SING A DIFFERENT SONG” FROM THE ONE ORPHEUS REMINDS HADES OF BRILLIANT

“Oh, it’s about me?” that made me laugh out loud. Oh god Also the repetition of lyrics in “All I’ve Ever Known” in “Epic III” to show that Orpheus and Eurydice’s love mirrors Persephone and Hades’s? poetictheater.jpeg

“Promises” omg. I actually liked this one better than NY “Promises” sorry not sorry. don’t get me wrong, Eurydice has every right to tell Orpheus off since he made all those promises he couldn’t keep in the NY “Promises” but in OBC “Promises” it feels more mutual. it feels softer. rather than Eurydice going, “you done messed up A-A-Ron” it’s more like Orpheus going, “I done fucked up and I’m sorry.” Orpheus is more self-aware and I liked that.

dudes, I’m extremely happy they added Eurydice back in for “We Raise Our Cups” it really rounds everything out. And it’s just a really good epilogue song. (I’m curious to see if Reeve is out on stage for this or if he stays backstage)

Final thoughts: the stronger themes were Great. don’t get me wrong. okay. I liked that about this version. but I feel like by trying to be too In With The Times(TM) they lost some of the heart of the story, which ultimately detracted from Reeve’s performance as Orpheus.

sometimes I really think a story can be just a story about two people (or two love stories), and the themes and messages will find their way in naturally. it doesn’t need to be this big thing about everyone all of a sudden. at the very least, bc it’s obvious the themes and messages are stronger in the OBC version, it does take some work and planning, but I felt like they were trying just a tad too hard and ended up being too heavy-handed.

I thought the themes and message they were originally trying to get across got across just find in the NY composition (specifically for “Wait For Me (Reprise)” bc the themes are definitely stronger throughout the overall musical in the OBCR composition)

now, I’m not saying don’t include messages in your art, that’s what art is for! But I think they could have either kept it about how it was in the NY version, because there were still messages (just a little more lucid and not as strong) OR they could have composed it some way that kept the stronger themes and messages AND kept the importance and presence of Orpheus’s role, and Orpheus and Eurydice’s story.

for me, Orpheus, esp OBC and Reeve’s Orpheus, doesn’t strike me as the guy to start a revolution and lead the Chorus thru hell. Like when the Fates say, “who are you to think that you can hold your head up higher than your fellow man?” I honestly get confused bc,,, he... doesn’t think that though? He just loves Eurydice and wants to save her from Hadestown. and maybe that’s actually the point? that Orpheus wasn’t ready for the pressure suddenly put on him to not just lead Eurydice out but also all of Hades’s workers, so doubt came in. but then what was with “If It’s True?” which, as I said, did start to sound pretty preachy? not to mention, the one time their themes and messages aren’t clear

anyway, long story long, the way I see Orpheus is his voice just does That. it doesn’t have to have some secret, overarching message for his songs to influence and move people. in the original “If It’s True” he sang about his loss and it was emotional enough to move Hades’s workers. to me Orpheus’s gift, his music, his voice is about emotion. and I think of Coco in that respect: “de la Cruz was a nobody, but when he sang, people listened” paired with, “I didn’t write it for the world, I wrote it for Coco” yet “Remember Me” (and all his songs) still resonated and moved people

so anyway, here’s my Hadestown hot take: Reeve wasn’t nominated for a Tony because the new composition underutilized him as Orpheus

no i don’t take criticism

[scbines]

WORD okay what up i’m ally, i’m twenty1, i use she/her pronouns, my timezone is est & small disclaimer: i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing, okay!! just keep that in mind when you .. go to read this complete shit storm okay i’m Trying.. anywhen! i may or may not have uhhh copied & pasted the majority of this from the last time i played her but.. that’s neither her nor there, tbh! if u wanna plot, feel free to hmu on discord at [mournful bagpipe music]#2581 or yk use the lil chat thing on tumblr if u aint got discord bhvfjn. MOVING ON..

cw: alcohol, neglect, sex ( & i think that’s it, folks! )

sab’s pinterest: here!

( sofia carson, cisfemale ) did you hear how SABINE VALDEZ is applying to columbia university as a PHILOSOPHY major ?! the TWENTY-ONE year old is living in the WATT HALL. i heard that they got in because they are +MAGNETIC and +INTREPID, but honestly i think SHE can be -FLIGHTY and -VOLATILE. they’re a real CATACLYSM. oh well, only time will tell if the JUNIOR will make it til the end.

imma just dive right in cos idk how else to go about it bgvjn

sabine grew up w/ a single mom in Detroit & they were basically skating the line between lower class and poverty, meaning they had like a proper house, but they were definitely behind on mortgage always and living paycheck to paycheck :// like when they went grocery shopping & sab would put anything but the basics in the cart her mom would look at her like ‘that’s a joke, right?’ and never could afford like birthday/christmas presents or cake or anything rip ( honestly not that sab’s mom gave enough a shit to even notice smh ) ! so everything was always a little .. hectic ig ? her mom couldnt ever relax unless she was blackout drunk so uhh that’s p much that on that sighs

even worse?? when sab was about eleven her mom got injured at work ( dont ask me How cos i have? no idea hibgfnjd i’ll flesh it out at some point.. maybe .. probably not.. ) so she and sab lived on disability checks and whatever small money sab could make helping her neighbors with like yard work/babysitting/shit like that until she was old enough to get a real job smh meaning she’s been working as long as she can remember god im exhausted just typing it

this basically left sab to raise herself, which .. most likely left her better off than if her mom paid her more attention tbh? cos her mom is selfish and doesnt care about anything but the next drink & the next man she’ll be inviting home smh !! the whole thing w/ her mom is that she Never Wanted kids but it wasn’t an option to abort or give sab up for adoption so she was Stuck raising a kid she never wanted .. truly .. rip ..

that said, sab’s mom was .. promiscuous to say the least .. all thru sab’s childhood there were countless nameless men in and out of their lives ranging from a day to a few weeks at most SIGHS anyways this of course led to sab having a seriously warped idea of what a healthy relationship is HELLO hvicnjm it’s super flawed to the point where she thinks the height of healthy relationship goals is to be exclusive for more than a few weeks smfh its wild tbh .. romance? dont know her! love? WHOMST? to sabine, there’s no point in bothering to rely or care for someone else because you’ll just end up disappointed so she ? keeps her distance for the most part.. relying Solely on herself cos thats the only person who wont let her down ( while also suffering from deeply rooted self-hatred? wow .. legends only .. )

anyways !! she Hated detroit like nobody’s business and always wanted nothing more than to Get Away from the toxicity of her home life and the suffocation of being the caregiver for a woman who will hardly get out of her bed gtg !!! so this led to her putting all her focus into after school jobs and making sure she was the top of her class At All Times like .. shes always been super determined and goal oriented but to a fault if that makes sense. she will work her ass off when given reason to, but once she’s accomplished that goal, she feels absolutely aimless sighs

bitch had .. like 3 jobs in hs and applied to a dozen schools, all of them at least 100 miles from detroit like Word ! she applied to columbia on a whim not thinking she’d get in but when she got that acceptance letter you can bet ur ass the bitch was Outta There!!

getting here tho … she isnt sure what to do next ihbvfcnj she never thought as far as majors and actually choosing what to do with the rest of her life so she?????? is undetermined about p much everything hgvifncjd but philosophy seems like the cop out she’s been looking for lmao !!!

anyways she works at a shitty diner not too far from campus like almost every day after classes but on weekends she COUGHS strips across town hibvfncj HA didnt see that coming did ya smh hibfnjd but!! she does it across town cos she lk wants it to stay a secret like she doesnt need to kick a frat boy’s ass for making shitty comments now does she??? but i mean .. its not something she’s ashamed of, she’s just Not Interested in having people she hates talk shit and slut shame ygm??

being so busy all the time, she doesn’t really have time for any school activities but she’s down for a party at any time ( esp if its like themed hbifnjd she loves a costume ) and uhh dtf too lbr shes v in touch w/ her sexuality #freethenipple ( does she even own a single bra?? we just don’t know! )

THAT SAID !! she doesnt correlate sex with like .. emotions?? cos shes never seen them in a situation where they’re mutually exclusive rip :// this led to her thinking people only ever Wanted Something from her be it her body or like a chance to put her down to feel better abt themselves smh ! she isnt a generally violent person but if it’s the latter she’s more likely to throw a few choice words in ur direction hvifcnj

generally, sab’s p much just ur Stressed Out Scholarship Student just trying to graduate so her life isnt a fucking trainwreck like her mom’s! she’s desperate for both human affection and adventure, so offer her one, the other or both and her heart is yours tbh! as much as she’ll pretend its not lmao !!1!1!!!!

anywhomst i cannot for the life of me think of anything else to type her atm since im??? garbage???? but !! mssg me if u wanna plot smthn out fam since uhh sab having friends??? sounds like a pipe dream tbh and im desperate for it lol!

[leonbastralle]

Rosa Pt.2

Honestly sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t mind you disappearing because your catching up stuff always makes me extra happy XD I honestly don’t know how you do it.

grumpysimmies replied to your photo “Before my followers raise a mutiny because these guys are no longer in...”

AND I WILL DON'T WORRY YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE

I do ;_; the first couple q&a would have been nothing without you.

grumpysimmies replied to your post “Replies To The Spammers”

I'm looking forwards to get to know the chars you have yet to talk about xD

all my Ryders to be (Jian&Des, plus Olympia and Chikelu) are the most wip characters ever so there’s really not much to say (apart from how much I love Jian and Des’ dynamic)

grumpysimmies replied to your post “Replies To The Spammers”

You can never take too much moments to appreciate how cute a sim/char can be

true too, it gets weird tho when it’s your own

grumpysimmies replied to your post “Replies To The Spammers”

I'd personally come for them if they had something to say about ficus ._____.

same

grumpysimmies replied to your post “Replies To The Spammers”

I'm forever indebted to Carys since Flame's never going to age up xD

I will make sure to pass it on ;)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Happy birthday, Snowdrift Miracle (10/21)! When a char isn’t even...”

I'm still not over this

we will never be over them I assure you

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “@pixeldemographics dared me to do this, so I did it. This isn’t THE...”

AS IF I DIDN'T LOVE FICUS WAY TOO MUCH ALREADY

I’M SO SORRY I DIDN’T EXPECT IT TO TURN OUT THIS WAY (expect to also love Aur, Flame, Snowdrift, Tabasco and Shine a lot more at some point...just saying. Things might or might not be happening.)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

Remind me to never get on your bad side Annie xD

it’s...not hard? tbh. But I wouldn’t let it get this far unless it’s a repetitive thing XD plus I couldn’t be mean irl, worst thing I’d do is rant abt a nameless friend to another friend

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Salim: Nononono! You can’t do this! It’s illegal! Shine: I can’t do...”

I LOVE HOW SHINE IS ENJOYING THIS WAY TOO MUCH

tbh I ruined the poor innocent child

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Salim: Ugh! Neighbor, what is it! It’s not even late this time! Not...”

You shouldn't Salim

that doesn’t work Rosa we tried

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Do you see this face? This face is the face of someone who is up to no...”

All the Salims I know are assholes xD

OOOOO I NEED TO KNOW MORE

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “G: Uh, hi neighbor. S: Hey. G: … S: … G: … S: … G: … S: … G: … S: … G:...”

Also me whenever I'm with someone I'm not used to

same

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “T: Uh…Opal, why are you crying? O: *sobs* I just…I just love Sprout so...”

Same

same

...xD

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

LOOK AT THIS PRECIOUS CHILD

I KNOW

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “When she’d calmed down, I sent her to visit some old pals! I mostly...”

I guess this answered my question about not seeing Sprout Jewel and Bonsai anymore xD

evidently ;) and this isn’t the end either! Just you waittttt

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Flame is more than happy to see his son again!”

And I'm more than happy to see him

why am I not surprised XD

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

I hope it's their tent and not the kids'

it was xD Sparkle and the girls shared the big one.

grumpysimmies replied to your post “Look mum I brushed my hair!”

But seriously I feel like it's so hard actually find lasting friends from uni (but it's their loss if they ignore you)

is it rly tho? like it obviously hurts me too so it’s also my loss xD but yeah...I agree it IS difficult. I feel like ppl are at that point in life where they are no longer looking for permanent close friends?

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

It's really pretty ;-;

it is! I’m so glad I finally got to explore it a bit, the scenery is the best ;_; and my berry name for it is even better tbh.

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

It looks like she's sniffing sun rays xD

AAAAAA THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE PERF GEN YELLOW THING I WILL CRY

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “#tinybeanconfirmed”

I died.

do you think I didn’t

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “T: Do you…do you think I’m a bad mum? S: *gasps* Trellis, please… T:...”

Shine may deserve the worLD BUT YOU ARE THE WORLD TRELLIS ;________;

JDAHBSJHGBJSHGBAJKSHFBAKSJFANKSJGBANSKJGBDF

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “G: Oh look at this! I love this movie, it’s so funny! C: But my cake…...”

Cake cannot wait

it’s wisdom

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “B: These kids, man. What did the boss mix into his aniseed to make...”

ALL THE KIDS TOGETHER

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “B: These kids, man. What did the boss mix into his aniseed to make...”

NOW THAT WOULD'VE BEEN PERFECT IF GLOW WAS THERE

I KNOW AND I KNOW ;-;

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “S: Geoffrey? Hey, buddy! Wait up!!”

Worst case he'd die from the serum no big deal

well Shimmer is...still alive I think (okay yeah she is she’s in the posts later)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Their flat is ACTUALLY haunted. Pathi is good with ghosts though,...”

I still can't believe they actually love the fact it's haunted ._.

they’re really into this stuff xD my little adrenaline junkies

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

THIS OH MAN THIS

I KNOW (you’ll love the next bit of the queue)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “S: 8D

He always look so suave I love him

you think? ;_; cause he isn’t

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Have I ever told you that you’re an idiot?” “Not in the last twenty...”

This shot of them is too good too beautiful I can't

AAAAAAAA ;_; I was so disappointing cause I wanted a different pose but I think in the end this WAS a great one so...yeah. Why did I start this again?

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “G: Hi! Thank you for adopting me! Everyone else said I’m too...”

YOU'RE NOT TOO BOISTEROUS YOU'RE PERFECT

SHE IS BUT SHE DOESN’T KNOW

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “yes simself cameo judge me”

Look at that smile ;-;

she’s too pretty it’s not okay

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Dear diary! Tomorrow I’m getting a new sister. Her name is Glade and...”

Connie you pure child ;____;

SHE IS MY MOST NAIVE BABY

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “a mad bab”

I wanna pinch her cheeks

dude me too but in that moment she’d have hated you

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Coexisting peacefully.”

I love how it seems that Shine is tenderly laughing at Trellis for being a goof and that's just way too fucking cute I can't ;________;

sjhfbjsakhjbgsjgdskjdf

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

TRUE

IDK WHAT TO REPLY ANY MORE

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “A wonderful glitchy family.”

It looks very painful xD

and beautiful

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “The many faces of Ficus Elderberry, bonus Snowdrift.”

I SAY THIS ANYTIME I SEE HIM BUT HIS FACE

HE HAS ONE YES JUST IMAGINE

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “I apologise for the German, but basically, Malachite keeps messaging...”

HE'D BETTER FEEL GUILTY

I’d say something but it’d be spoilers

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Some miraculously good ice cream!”

Now I wanna eat some

not me I’m so cold

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

CAN I HUG THIS CHILD PLS

I WISH YOU COULD

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Browsing parenting forums!”

Me (except I'm not pregnant and I don't even have lover)

I think google probably thinks I’m pregnant all the time because I keep looking at names

grumpysimmies replied to your post “Annie of Green Cheeks says Hi”

The cutest chipmunk ;____;

brah nah

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “He proceeded to invade their personal space. At least he was quiet so...”

He's got a way with charming his new neighbors

not really...at this point they’re actual in game enemies

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Oh yay here we go… S: Hey, neighbors! Could you please tone it down a...”

How.dare.he.compare.donut.trumpet.to.aur.

I was mad and now his char is ten times worse than he rly is

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “T: So you’re sure the Sparkles clan doesn’t need this flat any more?...”

Does that mean we won't get to see Jewel and Bonsai and even Sprout? :c

;)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “F: I KNOW YOU WANT ME YOU KNOW I WANT CHA I KNOW YOU WANT MEEEEE-HEE...”

THE FACE HE'S MAKING TOTALLY MAKES IT UP FOR THE SONG

what do you mean this song is gr8 it sums things up just well

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Celebratory dancing!”

HOW CUTE IS SHE

VERY

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “T: Okay, I still feel kind of bad. It’s your parents’ closet after...”

and who knows what said parents did in that closet xD

...it’s confirmed they did A LOT and so did their grandparents

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “T: Wait - Shine! Before you go inside! I, um, you know I’m not much of...”

These babies ;____________;

I know ;_;

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “R: Glow!!!! Will you take me out? G: Uh, sure! I mean, I just got here...”

and I'm hopeless when it comes to him

good good he needs more fans always

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “A: Take my hand, love, and never let go. F: Stop it, I’m gonna cry.”

I'm gonna cry too

I did tbh

grumpysimmies replied to your post “˜º for Pointy?”

I hate beetroots too xD

I have a weird relationship with them...I love them but they must be very few

grumpysimmies replied to your post “˜º Flame!

I wanna eat his ice cream ;__;

I wanna eat everything vegetarian he makes because he’s so good (and watch him make it it’s a show)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “this doesn’t go with the storyline but lookit Sprout is so pretty”

I die every time I look at this beautiful child (and all the other beautiful children on this simblr let's be real)

;_________; DONT

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “F: Son! So good to see you around! How are you doing are you good?”

YES it's very good to see him around ;___;

as always ;)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Here’s a ton of Gabefaces cause I can’t choose one or two or three xD...”

oh man it's actually very nice to put faces on names xD

ohhhhh right this must be the first time you see his original self! I’m obsessed with his face tbh

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “S: Trellis! You came! T: Of course I did! It was no work at all to...”

my brain stopped at 'pretty face'

Shine’s too

[thethrillof]

i was going to write something specific, but instead i wrote shadow being sad abt maria. okay.

Maria has no grave.

Not to herself. The government took all of the ARK's dead and put them in the same place, left to rot beneath the earth in a graveyard filled with nameless headstones. The largest monument isn't a grave at all, just a pillar with some false sentiment. Something along the lines of "To honor the brave scientists that gave their lives for the betterment of humanity".

Ultimate Life Form Shadow may be--but even if his memory were perfect, untampered, he doubts he would remember the exact phrasing. He only read it once before he left, the sonic boom he left behind rattling the leaves from the surrounding trees clear off. He knew that's what happened, as the leaves caught in his trail of wind and stuck to his quills once he coasted to a stop.

It was cowardice, but he could never go back there. The thought left him physically ill to the point he couldn't move.

Lingering guilt and self-disgust aside, even if he found which one was her, if any one was her in the first place--she didn't die down here.

He knew the ARK's orbit. Perhaps it was some instinct, perhaps it was something programmed in, but it never took him long to pinpoint it after the sun set. When he thought of Maria--spoke to her, honored her memory more truly than the Guardian Unit of Nations ever could--it was with his eyes on the glint that most would mistake for a star.

"I brought you something," he says from atop a hill, miles and miles from any city or town. No civilization's light would interrupt him here. "I still can't remember everything about you, Maria. I'm sorry. I can remember you were...worth more than that. But I remembered something new a few days ago, something you used to draw."

He holds the stems of his gift gingerly, as if he would kill them if he held them too tightly. These flowers were already doomed to die; he plucked only the ones he saw that were already snapped from the wind, or wilting from the changing seasons. Perhaps those would be unsuitible for most...Shadow didn't think Maria would want him to kill more for her memory, no matter if they were only plants.

And...of course, Maria was dead. It was his own heart that told him to continue to speak to her when he could. The world's legends of some sort of afterlife were too massive and varied for him to swallow, but if there was one, then it would only be sensible to give gifts that would reach it.

"I don't know what most of these are. I'm sure you could tell me about most of them," he says, holding them in front of his face. Not enough to hide his eyes, still fixed on the ARK. "I know the white ones are daisies. These pink are called carnations, this yellow one is a tulip. This other pink one...is a rose."

Would she appriciate only facts? No, she'd wanted to know everything. How, why, when--he could read it in her face and tone, though her voice speaking exact questions was still beyond his grasp. He hasn't been able to speak with her in some weeks like this, and work isn't something he can verbalize, not yet.

"I...the rose was given to me. The faker had plenty from Amy Rose, a girl who always follows him. He caught me--" no, 'caught' implies some sort of guilt or wrongdoing; for once, this mattered. "--found me holding the daisies. He thought I would 'appriciate' it." He shakes his head. "You do more, I'm sure. It isn't your favorite color, though, is it?" A question, not quite a guess. She was never wearing pink.

He moves a cluster of light purple forward, each with long, narrow petals. "These were being given away by a rabbit. Her name is Cream. She's not as sharp as you, but you would get along with her. She loves the world nearly as much as you, Maria."

His throat catches. Cowardice, again, when he holds the flowers even in front of his eyes until he can blink away the burning.

The world is so quiet. Grass stretching out every which way, rippling over knolls with occasional whispers of wind. His last word, her name, is swallowed by the soft darkness.

With a physical shake of his head, Shadow pulls himself together. If she is there, she doesn't need to see him like this. Not right now. He needs to tell her more. Confess, even, and he pulls the flowers away to hold them towards the sky.

"I...don't stop and see the world often enough, Maria. I know you'd want to see it all. I remembered that recently, too. There are whole festivals of flowers that exist, not only with these, and I'll bring you more when they come around again. I won't miss it so easily next year. And I'll learn the names of these, so I'm sure. So we know the same things again."

It takes some gentle fumbling to untangle the last few from the stems of the rest. "I found these, too. On the way here. They're small, but I think you'd like them the most."

They're a tiny sprinkling of blue, the color she wore, the color of the sky--too light to be her eyes, but Maria wouldn't care.

"They're the first I found, Maria. Growing in a field with a dozen other kinds, but these were the only I picked before I thought you'd like to see more. They reminded me of you."

The edges of the sky aren't as dark as they once were.

High above, the empty ARK seems to blink.

"I will visit the spacy colony again, Maria--this I vow. Soon. I'll bring as many flowers as I can carry. I won't forget them. And with these in the ARK, in our home, I will always remember you," he says, clenching the fist without flowers.

It won't be an empty promise. Flowers were never allowed on the ARK; it could be dangerous, for Maria, for the experiments. 'Foriegn contaminates'. If he sees them there...he'll know something's wrong. If something ruins his memory again.

"I vow," he says again, stepping back, allowing the bouquet to fall on the flattened grass. "Maria."

A flash of light, and Shadow is gone.

-

He keeps more than one part of his promise. He has few free moments, but he makes them for this. Daisy he knew, rose, tulip--the purple were called 'asters', and--

Shadow should have guessed.

"Forget-me-not," he murmurs.

Maria...good choice.

[castlehead]

Finally, I have grabbed the black briar of restraint. I had heard it Bristling somewhere, there, in the past, waiting to be removed               But I did not, and so the branch grew— And thickened around my future, Until I let go.

There is a difference between logic and reality, there is a line drawn the length of a gun barrel.

“Behold the men in helmets borne on steel, Discolored, how they are going to defeat.”

—Wallace Stevens

     We can almost hear life. Back to  Preconditions, willful or no,

             Or is will a precondition? Outside of death these wage fuller. Our curse is what      Is benignly at the end of the tale, the silent busride taken             After the act, or non-act, as happened while Waiting at that rainy stop, that time when you remembered about       Your appointment, to go—

Running into oncoming traffic. Do you remember that anymore now, baby? I remember. I remember the gall of it: the feeling of a gall, a gall

So offensively invasive in processing me, as to, upon its quitting the examination, leave me worried as to what one could really expect to

  Bruise one’s harmony, when that, -well- that warn’t even the real Brain Surgery:

Surgery of another kind tho it was and which you felt, persistently, to the point of the smarting chaos, while I displaced my sensitivity for a bit somewhere it could be cloistered and honored properly. We

Unlike that, are not there, and feel that never, feel nothing

And so then know never what we, you and i, are doing, on this planet, or at this fancy party with an unnecessarily large, ornate chandelier hanging unwieldy, and seemingly stressing out the ceiling it and its miniature candle-glarers hang from, and that probly

Had cost a sum. And in those emaciated hours when trivia goes everything

Dull, we make -mind- of the ship, when the towline Of the Boatmen slacken, like it says in Beckett’s translation

Of La Bateau Ivre. We free it like Rimbaud did, and so it is left to bob On the clunky wheels of the surf, rolling, balancing on a slick, smooth Pair of feetsies, called both sides of the hull, the feet to help her traveling.

The human part is a possibility encased somewhere, an haunted mien Beneath the distant quandary of the Captain’s Office, a hue of a coffin there,         An accidental step taken when not needed taken,            A stiffness in the stars we see, as if they Called us back, hearkened us back, to emotional realities From childhood, mainly. And so we    Almost, almost hear the life of you, dear boy, Who makes a drumming for his heart to beat at all. Now, Thinking death similar, and having     wasted the immortal give                 With pageants of hydrogen, for to look up at and wonder, I ask: Where, where is all the—miracle—once possessed? We feel it tiredly in our bones.

We muster for you what seepage comes gradually of the stars To tiny fire, and misery a rainbow-colic [cowlick] making              Everything a smaller, sicklier version of itself, Weakening as we complain about our riches Making out our Wealth to be Plague, which is kind of morbid;        Too much, in our eyes. There’s much                    In the universe that would catch the eyes of one Stuck on EARTH. But tarry, the ambiguous trials         Mean more here in their present doing Than what you think about them afterwards, a thwartedness mind uses to

Conceal, till an opening, infinite—to us, at least, prolonged—is upon us living who, uh,

                Cannot see death’s wisdom yet. Well we heal with What yieldy sparks come flaming, prepare ourselves before they flame: a noisy Ripple in the water like turning a spout, then something Like a motor making curves of a floor of algae                            Like the curves of flame. I allow

A drop in the respite-soothe, as soon it predictably     Makes off its tender course, like,

Meandering elsewhere; and does so while leaving you cavalierly without The sea of meanings you had wanted, -anything to gratify the ebb of pain,                 Originally, and the respite-tub drawn already, drawn

Like the way nerves,—that swell up like Gout in the elderly but with each     New problem, rather, not minute, or what’s the difference—

Like the way nerves make my drawn face, as holds seas of insecurities I blow off like friends, or like that dangling hair that’s

Always in front of your face. With barely any cocoa Butter skin stuff, we must then ration; just a drop Of it is just a drop, by itself; I mean, what anarchy

Of mind!, this is like Lord of the Flies But for Cosmos and I don’t mean to harp On these always-nameless sages’ timely

Ways they can and do pause themselves just before the atom splits, at the ledge.

Which is their job. The Rube Goldberg Machine of cause and effect informs The wisdom of sages, and almost creates a vacuum again, with A little air hissing out in places, which was normal, but         In which airless container the split atom         Can stay safely static, the split atom can                   Stay steady and stable. The  Disastrous egg is in two halves and still telling Her story of hope to the cameras, however justified And firm and like a machine the process might be, hoping For a whole omelette. The atom is hovering up and down On the bounce house of Scientific Archival Purposes It says, written in highlighter on a piece of tape Stuck there on tha box of that carnage:

     A more illuminated nothing as would explode New York, but New York as an empty palace, and the room you’re looking for filled

With an atom’s distance from something, This measured in prodding the atom                 With a stick Like you would an hibernating father sleepin off his drunk in bed, when U want to check about whether he is actually dead, again. You do this every hour all day Sunday.                 The atom, once prodded, destroys cities rather Than cracks skulls with beatings, like yr father: as small as it    Is you may do with it what you will so That you may compare the real space and otherness To things with the measurements you recorded.

        And think Your room a gusty field in storm, a soulful dark:

Nothing is sans the purchase, no ownership as life would have it: A habit in the reigns, but still a habit, to rightfully take: no rights,     No, no rights are in death, you                  Kidding? A nil of the finest -one- at the first. That  An immaculate verb might could make me again real If I was dead I believe, wholeheartedly, and if I was remembered for it I          Would be the very res of nostalgia in experiencing it again, Verbing my heart out for the times people call simpler When I won that swim meet back then And the whole complicated story. The good old days,           When scruples sat in people’s stomachs,            Knotting them out of their possible daily impulses And putting that knot somewhere where     It can be forgotten abt, or lost; it then will build up And get more disgusting, like that trash barge That kept being pushed and pushed back                Country after country, east, west, north, south,        And nobody with the stones enough to just Say what everyone is thinking, that     The Starving Children in Cambodia would Benefit from eating this garbage      For food. Or If that grand rotten floating conservatory runs dry, There’s always, always, always Cannibalism to consider!        I am thinking about what is it called When an action has a consequence, like from Saying something dumb, -not who is called thereupon. Because you have to handle it lonely sometimes. If only man -did- press her ears to the door of calmative life  And ambition, but also drew up a snazzy block of wrath to hurl; To carry in a rumpled bundle of info sweatstained by hands              Out of view, tho somewhere; just to make sure: And hurl, thru the glass pane, making shattered glows of Ministered content’s whiling for forever beatitude and depth, as magnetized   Drew forth more other blocks, seeing the success Of the one—more wrong, insipid stars to                    The both life has in it: either/or: well then we are graced             With knowing all there is, While not being it; in death, we scrape our ears Against gravel to hear the dust, pursue the time             Before our grave gave us all the time to tie our unknotted    Discourses, belied a magic happening, to finish the job, and            Then: dismissed by public beings, tho once adored, We settle into our useless state of maximum use. We drew a fire of cosmos, let life make of them, the stars, toys, or things To gaze at longingly, wishing for the mustard to make a need

 Of little stones, by the graveyard gate, where poundage Lays brownly on that coffin, then, we, sealed, remind you that

                       Our doors: you’re what’s behind them. We are the ones             Who peer, forget the stars. Think only of the rainy

Stop, that time in Flatbush tripping on mushrooms. Think of then, When you where suicidal: say: I would be like that,                Like daunting ignoramuses

We call genius, when they were, and in their immortal skin, just Leather and words, for we had lives our own. A man is a man. Think me—

       Off into thoughts, make them akin not to everyday benign silence But, to pausing and compressing all: between the life of my travels,  And when I make a mistake about that.

When I am too roly-poly I will stop worrying about accomplishing things, blasé                 At this stop in the rain, yes, I self-say; And too

Sapped from my long strain,                     With the notions and the back-o-mind            Bewailings, to actually move my body: and think then that your

                           Meaning is not bad, I self-say. And think              Of all the times you have felt on the brink of a shared knowing with her.

When ourselves wished to lift our ears to you sages, and hear Our predicament from you, speeched through nameless lips soaked in wine and        Winding up the dialectic, o nameless sages: lemme jus’ say, We beckoned life appropriately from the appropriate place: we are                           Almost as good at that as at            Ignoring all the while that you correspondingly give us    What we have needed to this end, all this time, and            Have started our own problem Just to attain.