#and like !! critique my shit u know!!

[crimeronan]

yesterday a guy at irl critique group whose stuff i Really Really Like was critiquing this week's piece, and as part of his critique, he just straight-up said "okay, this is nitpicky and only because i keep writing fantasy stuff about healing myself, but there's a line here about this healing magic making this girl 'whole' and 'as she was meant to be' that reads...... really ableist." & the guy who wrote it was like "oh wow, you're right and that completely blew past me, thanks" & noted it down.

& i was sitting there trying not to visibly perk my ears like a dog like. SORRY TO BE SO SURPRISED I KNOW I'M BEING BIASED AND CONDESCENDING AS HELL. HEY. YOU KNOW THE WORD ABLEISM???

[suffarustuffaru]

i just. remembered again that i have a fembaru fic but also the premise is. Very Messed Up hah and also it was written before the canon genderbent au with its official genderbend names for everyone so its also outdated on top of that T^T i had like. Genderqueer subtext going on too. but i also wrote this fic like almost two years ago and havent touched it in forever so im unsure if i should go back to it…. o.o but i would love to finish it one day if only for my own satisfaction hah… i had a very detailed outline for ch 2 (its a twoshot) and several scenes written already anyway!! (and also i would probably update those names, make minor edits, etc etc hmm…)

[biblicalhorror]

Reading a court of thorns and roses bc it's been rec'd to me many times (by the same two friends mostly) and also I've never really read a smut novel before and Jesus christ this protagonist is insufferable

[dandeyrain]

we GOTTA stop repackaging outright gender essentialism and misogyny as cute '''''''''feminist'''''''''' jokes!

[munamania]

anyway. i am going to be SO incredibly livid and angry and throwing an absolute tantrum on thursday if i dont get good feedback on my script.

[homophyte]

im ngl the way some ppl on this site talk abt christianity is really baffling

[quietasfire]

the mortifying ordeal of being seen

[shoezuki]

Guys holy shit there's something going on w SCP shit I just found out thru the reddit scp sub and I'm losing my mind so much I need to report on this OK like.

So there are joke scps. If u don't know. That are jokes. Usually digs at common tropes on scps like the rock that makes u procrastinate is probably the most famous joke scp. Or the one I can't find rn where the researchers in the article are critiquing the scp item for being too tropey.

But. There's a new joke scp. SCP-021-J. It was posted yesterday and it's fighting for its fucking life. It has been slingshotting between bein rated -5 to +12 this whole time. The discussion on it is wild people fucking hate it or love it. Hard-core scp ppl are goin on paragraphs bout how it's not funny, its not even anything it's jus the worst of 'lol random' internet humour. And then there's the enjoyers who are jus like 'lol mfer can't handle it'

And all it is. Is evil water bottle.

This is it. The entire article. Evil :(

And ppl are LOSING IT. the discussion is full of ppl talkin like this is a sign and example of how the scp site has fallen so far, that scps are all shit now and things like this are taking away from Actually Good Scps. That it's disgusting and horrible. Like genuinely here's one dude calling it actually problematic

And this battle in the forum is genuinely the funniest thing bout this article like this exchange shows it perfectly

[teruthecreator]

i actually miss college so much i wanna be in a class so goddamn bad. i miss education :-((((((( cries and whimpers 

[lasciviouspoison]

omg hey guyssss!!! this was literally written off the fly, lol. each time i get 🍃 i think abt plug eren and how he’d be obsessed with the pretty college girl he serves to. tw: plug!eren x chubby reader, implied inexperienced reader, implied black reader (anyone can read!!), afab!reader, and, obviously, anything else i missed. not proof read cause idgaf :p

ps. y’all i loved writing this and i love my man. missing him bad :(

plug!eren that loves serving u, his prettiest customer. always makes sure to respond to ur text within the same minute, no matter the condition he’s in.

plug!eren who gets so happy when u ask him to teach u how to roll. each time he’s served u, he’s just brought u pre-rolls since u never bothered to ask for any other rolling materials. but this time, u finally caved and asked him to teach u, saying, “i’m just tired of spending my money on a multiple pre-rolls everyday. i wanna roll for myself” - mind u, eren hasn’t ever charged u.

plug!eren that sees u eyeing him intensely when he starts licking down the sheet, green eyes challenging yours each time he goes to toast the j. he got off on hearing your breath shudder slightly each time he gave it a lick, laughing silently to himself.

plug!eren who watches you smile brightly upon not ripping the sheet (you went through 3 before getting it right). he critiques your j as the two of you hit it, saying u only really needed to work on your mouth piece. however, it was hard for u to digest anything he was saying over the loudness of your thoughts. you couldn’t get the image of eren licking the j out of ur head, wondering if he’d take that much care with u. head between ur legs, using his tongue with the utmost precision. god it’d feel so good -

“whatcha thinkin’ bout pretty girl?” eren’s voice pulls you out of ur thoughts and u smile, not trusting urself enough to express ur feelings without flat out telling him you wanted to fuck.

“i’m just… thinking about everything… you know?” he laughs at the slow pace and raspiness of your voice.

“hmm.. want rennie to make the thoughts go away?”

your head lolls onto the back of the couch and your bra-less chest points toward the sky. he can see the outline of your pierced nipples through your baby pink tank top and he sighs.

the two of you finally make eye contact once more and you lean your head up towards his, eyes deadlocked on his lips.

“please.”

that was all eren needed to hear before engulfing you in his arms. he pulls you onto his lap and runs his hands up the sides of your body, taking extra time to trace the chub that outlines ur tummy.

he drags his thumbs over your nipples causing your body to jerk. he smiles slightly and flicks his eyes up to yours, silver eyebrow piercing glittering in the warm livingroom lighting. he peppers kisses along your jawline before finally kissing your lips. you can’t help but think about how soft his lips are and it makes u let out a soft moan.

he breaks the kiss but never stops rubbing on you, “you taste so sweet. is it ya lipgloss?”

you smile, “yeah. it’s that glossier shit. cookie butter.”

he kisses you again, running his tongue over your lips once he breaks it once more, “i bet your pussy’s sweeter than this though.”

before you can respond, he reaches down into your shorts and plays with the waistband of your panties. rubbing his fingers over the outline of your cunt, causing you to shiver each time.

eren kisses your lips once more and finally touches your bare pussy. once his fingers find your clit, he makes the smallest circles and your hips jerk. he can feel you begin to pull away from the kiss, but his mouth follows you, preventing you from complaining.

he begins to apply a bit more pressure and you ease up in his grip once more. his fingers then travel down further and begin to make their way inside you. unable to hold yourself together, you let out a slight “fuck” and eren groans.

“you’re so fuckin wet. you mus’ really like me, huh baby”. he licks his lips and kisses your neck.

“yes ren… liked you since i first seen you.”, you admit.

eren pulls his head from your neck and grips your cheeks, forcing you to meet his eyes. “aww. baby had a crush on ‘er plug. gonna make this pussy feel so good for you, ‘kay?”

after a small yes, eren lays you down gently on your couch and begins to pull your shorts and panties down. your hands go to cover yourself and he pins them to your chest. he then pulls your tank top over your head and leaves the material loosely around your wrists.

immediately after, eren removes his shirt and your eye to eye with his tatted stomach and chest. you knew by his arms he had a lot of ink, but it was never assumed to go this far. his tattoos were so sexy though, they made your mouth water.

eren then began his assault on your neck once more, this time gradually making his way down your body. he ran his tongue over your nipples, releasing each with an obnoxiously loud pop.

as he made his way down your stomach, you could feel him start to lick down your body, making a point to leave a trail of red splotches in his wake.

when his eyes deadlock on your pussy, you can feel eren’s dick jump in his pants. he takes his thumb and pulls the hood of your vagina up, taking his sweet time in admiring your pink pussy.

he licks his lips and smirkss at you before diving head first in between your legs. his long, pink tongue swirls over your clit so gently, it makes you see stars. he licks you just like the sheet, so slowly that it takes your breath away.

he sucks gently on your clit and your hands reach down to run through his hair. your fingers wrap around the root and pull slightly, causing him to groan into your pussy.

his hand runs up your leg and you feel his middle and index finger push into your walls, gently caressing your g-spot.

by this point, your writhing so hard against the bed eren’s had to use all of his strength to restrain you with one hand. and while you knew eren could overpower you, having firsthand proof made you all the more wet.

with a few more licks to your clit, eren found you suddenly tensing up against his tongue, small body shaking and convulsing around his tongue as your orgasm overpowered your senses.

“pretty baby’s never came this hard huh? s’okay, you got somebody to handle you now. i’ll make this cunt cum everyday. my perfect girl.”

with the combination of eren’s dirty words and his gentle caresses against your nipples, it was extremely hard for you to ground yourself within reality. he was too good at sex, especially for someone as inexperienced as you.

eren finally rises and removes his jeans. his black calvin’s cling to his hips and muscular thighs as he drags you by your ankle to the edge of your couch.

he pulls down his boxers and his dick hits his stomach with a dull thud, angry red tip leaving a bit of pre where it made contact with his stomach.

he presses your legs against your body and grips his dick, hard. he runs it through your fold a few times, using the slight curve of his dick to hit your clit each time he got close. he tapped his dick against your clit a few times, and finally slipped it in.

with the two of you simultaneously gasping, eren’s grip on your hips got tighter, desperately trying to will himself to not fully sheath himself inside of you. as he slowly slipped in, he could feel your pussy twitch against him, forcing him to thumb at your clit.

“need ya to calm down baby. gonna squeeze me to death” his voice is rough and restrained, similar to his hips.

you respond, breathless and weak, “m’tryin. feel you s’deep”

his eyes flick up to yours, “oh yeah? where ya feel me baby?”

your head peaks up slightly and eren takes a look at your fucked out face. lips wet, red, and swollen, eyes watery with rosy cheeks. you were so beautiful, he never wanted to take his eyes off of you. but, he had a more pressing matter at hand.

your hand reaches down and presses on your stomach, signifying to eren where his dick is inside you. however, you choke out a moan and add onto his ever growing ego, “but i swear ren, i feel you in my throat. you’re just so - fuck - you’re so big” placing much emphasis on big.

his eyes roll into the back of his skull as he looses all composure. his hips snap relentlessly into yours, bullying his cock into your tight pussy. by this point, eren is not only lost in the feeling of your cunt, but knowing that he needs to feel you cum around him.

he keeps a hand locked onto your jaw, forcing you to keep eye contact with him. you can see how feral he is behind his eyes and it makes you gush. he’s like a wild animal and it turns you on way more than you ever imagined.

with a particular thrust, eren hits that soft spot inside of you and your legs instinctively lock around his hips. the worldless confirmation was all he needed to continue to hit that special spot inside of you. as the speed of his hips increases, he finally reaches his peak, with that familiar pulse of your pussy shortly following.

a particularly loud “fuck” leaves your mouth at the same times eren grits out your name. his hips operate on autopilot, snapping back into your cunt at a jagged pace.

once eren returns to earth, he sees the white ring of cream you left around the base of his cock. he swipes two fingers down and places them to your lips. “suck”, is all that leaves his mouth and you follow his command.

as eren slowly pulls out of you, your head lolls against the couch and you finally feel yourself catch a breath.

when eren returns, he uses a warm rag to wipe you up before helping you put your clothes back on. after he follows suit, he picks you up bridal style and carries you to your room.

he sets you down and pulls back your baby pink duvet, tucking you into the blankets. you reach your hand up to him and grab his shirt sleeve, confusion and hurt dancing behind your eyes.

eren kneels beside your bed and pets your hair, “i’m not runnin out on ya y/n. i jus gotta do my job. i’ll be back once im finished, promise.” he gives you a gentle kiss on the lips, and you can hear his shoes scuff against the hardwood floor as your eyes close.

however, hours later, you’re awoken to the sound of knocks at your door and your phone ringing; it’s eren.

“hello?” you answer, voice groggy from sleep.

eren chuckles slightly and lets out a breath, “told you i’d be back ma. lemme in”.

[thequeenofcupps]

VENTURE DATING HC’S

A/N: ok so I've literally have never had fanfics before so please bare with me, also I made the reader female implied but y’all can do any gender you want

CW: scars, insecurity

TW: SH scars mention

☆ Ok so you know that studio ghibli thing I said about them? yeah they’d probably keep you hostage so you guys would stay in and watch most of them. Oh you have to work or if you need to run errands? Sucks they haven’t seen you in a while and they’ve missed you :(

☆ After their expeditions they like to bring back rocks, crystals, or any cool thing they find and give them to you. Now you have 2 selves of things they’ve brought back :D

☆So I’ve seen people write/draw Sloan with tattoos and I’ve wanted to partake on this hc.

I feel like they’d like telling you stories behind their tattoos, like if they’re getting dressed and you ask about one they’d tell you about it but then they’d get carried away and start explaining ALL of their tattoos.

☆They.are.the.biggest.cuddlebug.everrrr. Like they’ll cuddle you anywhere and anytime. Cooking? Boom they're behind you hugging you, Folding laundry? Womp they’re laying on your thighs, laying down for a nap? Their ass is SPRINTING to cuddle with you, it doesn’t matter what their doing cuddles is a must have for them. They just love you so much :c

☆Also on my applying lipstick hc I made a couple days ago, yeah whenever you put on lipstick whether you work for Overwatch or you live with them or work with them for the Wayfinder Society you like to fluster them by just smooching them then leaving a very flustered Sloan with kiss marks on them.

☆They are VERY affectionate, like if they’re always texting you good night, kissing you on your lips, forehead, hand, etc. bear hugging you, slow dancing in the kitchen with them it really doesn’t matter if you don’t live with them yet or if you do live with them they’re so lovey dovey with you 💗

☆if they’re on a mission for overwatch or for the Wayfinder Society they’re sending you cute cat pictures saying cute shit like “you’re purrr-fect!” or a cat holding a heart and saying “I miss you and love u pookums :c” cuz you’re so far away for them but they still like to tell you that they love you

☆you’re so perfect to them It doesn’t matter if you have SH scars, stretch marks, thick thighs, plus-sized, hairy, acne, acne scars, if you chew nails, it doesn’t matter to them they love you so much and they reassure you that they will always love you no matter what you look like

(One more hc is when they first saw you careless whisper started playing in that slow motion montage and they had heart eyes)

A/N: I hope I did ok with these reminder it is my first time making an x reader fanfic of some sort so feel free to critique me 😚

Also I probably made a fuck ton of mistakes cuz my 15 yr old ass didn’t pay attention in language class

[aphroditesmoon]

umm, you’re taking Gwen x reader? I have a request. Black cat reader who was best friends with Gwen and Peter but is the rival of Spider woman. Something or another happens and their identity’s get revealed

love it if we made it

gwen stacy x blackcat!reader (gn)

warnings: cursing, tiny angst, gwen's peter is alive here, reader has hair long enough to tie them (only description)

a/n: i rlly hope u like this!

°°°°°

A robbery happened on a Tuesday, 6th July 3AM sharp. A robbery in a golden jewelry store. A minute after that, the Pandora store next to it.

No one cared about the robbery, of course. People were too busy talking about the anonymous donation worth more than 15000 the next day to three different centres in need of them.

Gwen Stacy's mind however, is still stuck at a particular difficult nemesis, the black cat. She's never failed to capture a villain like this, never took this long. But again and again, with time, the annoyingly quick and sneaky cat escapes from her grasps.

It was probably obvious that she wasn't too enthralled by any of the breaking news today, all of them critiquing the infamous Spider-Woman for being unable to get her webs on the villain. Her mind was so full and blurry with different kinds of thoughts that she didn't notice her own best friend walking into class and waving at her.

You took your spot next to Gwen, creaking your chair loudly to get her attention. When she finally flinches out of hee daydream and looks at you, she's met with a knowing smile. "Sleeping? Its not even the first period yet." She shook her head and forced a smile out. "No, just dreading AP maths." You laughed at that. Gwen was good at maths, and all the stupid numbers and figures that came with it, that couldn't have been the reason.

"Well, whatever it is, I need you took a little alive for this gift im about to-" "Gift?" Her eyes brighten up immediately. You grinned at her and pulled out the small paperbag, waving it in front of her.

Gwen, impatient she is, snatches it from you and gets to opening its ribbons open. "It's not even my birthday." She mumbles. "Good, now you can't ask me for anything on your birthday." You settled it, earning a mischievous smirk from her. She knows, you would've given her anything if she'd only asked.

You revel in her suprised expression as she pulls out the golden bracelet, it was a waving design, two long whirling gold around in a circle, with a small blue diamond placed in the middle. "You are insane." She says, glaring your way. "What? Can't treat my girl?" The both if you turn slightly pink with those words. You should've just said your welcome.  "The blue reminded me of you. A centerpiece around all the golden whirly shit." She lets out a small laugh, shaking her head. "I love it, thank you." You replied with a nod and your same small smile.

"This must've costed you a lot though,  couldn't you have bought me a two dollars friendship bracelet." She joked while putting the gift on her right wrist. "Oh don't worry, I stole it." You say with your usual tone.

Gwen almost backtracked when you said that, before hitting herself awake in her mind, forcing herself to leave the Spider-Woman alter ego aside for today.

You were making a joke because you didn't want her to feel bad, you always did. So she rolled her eyes before repacking the box and the paperbag to put them under her table. "You'd be a shit thief." She concluded. You furrow your brows. "Well then, at least I'd get to see Spider-Woman." You teased while wiggling your brows.

"I wonder how many people became really bad burglars and thieves just to get her autograph." The last of your sentence became muffled ariund the sounds of other students as your teacher finally arrive, but gwen who heard it all to well only smiled at the thought. 

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

School finished two hours ago, and neither of you saw or heard from Peter the whole day. He was probably at the lab again, as he always was so you didn't really bother.  Gwen, on the other hand, wouldn't stop trying to get him to answer his phone.

She's pacing around the room with her phone speaker on while you're laying on her bed, messing with her giant flower shaped plushie while she loses her mind. "Maybe he left his phone at home." You reasoned. Gwen shool her head and kept trying.  "He always lose his damn phone."

You frowned at her and decided you were done waiting. "Gwen, its over 10pm, I need to get back home, my dad will be worried." You say before getting up and taking your jacket from her coat hanger. "When has your dad ever even noticed if you're gone." She snaps, phone thrown on her bed in frustration. 

Your eyes widen at the words and you scoff at her.  She opened her mouth to apologize, immediately getting cut off. "Look, I don't know what spider has crawled up your ass these days, but we both know Peter's always disappearing these days, he's probably fine, and I'm going home since you're so worried over your friend that isn't in front of you." You ended the conversating as soon as it started, not giving her a chance to respond, you left her room, banging the door.

Your house was a few blocks away from Gwen's. When you're sure no one's around, you climb up quickly inti your room by the window, hands fast, some help from your claws. Tossing your backpack onto your bed, you changed into your suit without wasting time.

Gwen was right about something, your dad has long since noticed if you ever even came home these days. You jumped back out of your window, swinging upwards onto the roof instead of the streets.

You hopped from building to building, taking your time while enjoying the view. The lights. They were beautiful tonight,  accompanied by the bright moon, staring down from above. Even the neon signs of Joe's Pizza seemed pleasant to look at in times like this. You wished you could've shared these kind of moments with Gwen, but you didn't want to think of her now.

You find a spot above a tall empty building, where the ciry lights seemed clearer, and the smell of trash and dog piss was further away. Pulling your hair up in a bun, you tied it over twice, fixing it so you'll be able to see better without your hair always on your face.

And what a fate, as you're tilting your head down whilst your hands fixes the hairtie, a robbery happens right in front of your eyes.

Your heart skipped a beat at the crime, until you remembered you were also a criminal of a sort. This was interesting to see. A crime done by someone other than the Black Cat, finally.

The pleasure was shortlasting though,  when you had realized who was getting robbed. It was Peter. The masked man pulled out his gun, aiming it to Peter's face when he tried to run. "Run, and I'll shoot." His voice a mumble from below.

You move to stand up, backing away from any visibility, tiptoeing until you've reached the end of the building and hopped off, landing on your feet.

When you walked over the building to stand behind the robber, Peter's eyes involuntary widen,  as if a warning towards another civillian. But you weren't a civilian,  and when he takes in tbe suit and the masks, he realized who you were.

The robber gets annoyed when his eyes weren't on him anymore. "What the hell are y-" he spuns around towards you, receiving a kick to his stomach, making him fall on his back on the blow. You smiled at the victory watching Peter look between you and the fallen robber in confusion.

It seemed your victory didn't last long when a sling if webs shot againts your face.

You wretched the sticky web out of your face, growling in disgust. "Robbing an innocent citizen? That's low, even for you kitty." The annoying voice spoke. Once you manage tu cut the webs off fully with your claws. Regaining your vision,  you sneer at the ghost-spider, standing in front of Peter, who's finding protection behind her. "Is being blind apart of being spider-woman? I didn't rob him, I saved him." The hero's eyes squint along with her mask. "You? Saving people?"

Your eyes actually widen in offense before looking towards Peter. "Tell her doofus! I literally kicked him for you."

Gwen swings her head back at him and he stutters in panic. "Wh-I mean, yeah, she did, technically...kick him." You fold your eyes and glare at her as she turns back at you.  "See?" The two of you lock eyes for a minute long before she finally speak. "Peter Parker-" She calls him.

Both you and Peter frown at the name dropping . "-go home. I'll deal with her." The boy doesn't hesitate, turning his back and running way.

You snorted at her words. Always a show off. "You'll deal with me? How?" She tilts her head. "Like this." When you saw herbhand moving up, you move faster than her, snatching up her wrists in a tight grip as you push her againts the wall. "I might not have any venom on me, but try that again spidey, and I'll make you'll feel these claws for days." You see her physically wince at the words.

"You think just because you saved one man, that erases the 166 crimes you've done?" She asks sarcastically. You pout and pretends to think.  "I think, I really don't give a fuck, but its nice of you to remember all of my crimes, definitely not weird and obsessive or anything." 

She tries to speak again but you shush her when your eyes bore into the bracelet on her wrist. Firstly, who is stupid enough to wear their jewelry outside of their suit? Its like they're begging to be robbed.  Secondly; "Where did you get that bracelet?"

Your nemesis lets out a 'huh?' You repeat yourself, sterner. "I bought it?" You scoff. "You couldn't have bought something I've robbed." She seems annoyed by your questions. Being accused of stealing by a thief is pretty hurtful. "I could've brought it before you robbed it, you know."

You hummed thoughtfully at her words before you spoke. "You could've, or-" Your grip on her loosens, "-We're both just really, really, stupid." Gwen cocks her head in confusion. "What the hell are y-" realization hit her then. "Oh my god, no."

"No? Are you sure, Gwen stacy?" She winced at the mention of her name. Her hands move towards your mask. "How did I never..." Her words trails off a second before loud voices of people coming your way was heard. You pull her back swiftly into an alley, putting yourself between her and the open space.

The both of you lean yourselves againts the wall, you feel her fingers slowly slips into yours and holds back a tired sigh.

Once the group of kids has passed the alley, you finally relaxed. Her hands try to pull aw

ay but you curl your own fists around it.

She spins you back to her and her free hand moves to graze over your mask. "I didn't want you or Peter to be involved like this." She murmed. Your own hand slids around her waste as you lean closer. "I don't think it's up to you, Gwen." She huffs. "You know what I mean." You say nothing, eye staring down at your intertwined fingers. 

"Are you still going to get me arrested, spidey?" You could feel her glare from inside the mask. "What? Because I'm your friend, it all changes now?" You honestly ask. "Because I love you, and I know you and your heart, is why it's all different now. You're not who I thought you were, you can't be,  the Black Cat I've thought of before was evil in my head, evil and cruel."

You say nothing, waiting for her to continue. "You're not evil, and you're not cruel." You raised a brow. "Then, what am I?"  She's hesitates. "You're, with me. And I'm not going to let them take you, not anymore, whoever your secret identity is." Your mouth remains shut at that.

  All the bad jokes and sarcastic comments dies on your throat.  But your stubornnes always wins, "You didn't really seem to care much about me this evening."

Gwen groans loudly. "Come on, we'll go back to my place, I won't even look at the ground on the way home to shown you how much I'm paying attention to you now." You snort, a smile escaping you despite your efforts to remain upset at her.

[mentally-in-northern-italy]

finally — c.f. x reader

**not my gif**

Summary: Conrad really wants to kiss you... but something keeps getting in the way - AKA the three times that Conrad almost kissed you and the one time he finally did.

Warnings: alcohol, light profanity, jealous Conrad, kissing, making out

Word Count: ~4.5K

A/N: three days late but here she is!!!!! sorry guys, it took me way longer than anticipated. a lil rusty but not too mad abt it. if u have any req's, send em my way :))

____________

Conrad doesn’t remember much of that lazy summer afternoon at the Fisher household when at the exploratory age of fifteen, he had held your hands and tried his best to hold in a chuckle as he watched you attempt to waltz with him. He hadn’t told you then, but you were doing it all wrong.

Your feet moved just a little too quick, stepping over his own and your mouth spilled perpetual apologies as you cringed at the lack of rhythm in your movements. You marveled at how you had made it this far in life, having acquired absolutely no coordination at all. It was a miracle, you thought, that you could even walk straight. 

“Yeah, that’s it,” Conrad had smiled, countering your own critique, as his hands remained on your own and you were glad that they were – you would’ve fallen on your face by now if they didn’t have a steadfast grip on you. 

“Really?” You had asked as you brought your eyes up to look at him properly. You squinted a little to convey your disbelief but found nothing on his smiling, bespectacled face that would show that he was lying. “I feel like I look really stupid,” you voiced your concern again, laughing a little. 

“No, you look great,” Conrad had said with a soft shake of his head. “As always.”

The compliment had caught you off-guard, unsure of how to respond to such flattery. You laughed it off, though — albeit with a nervous lilt, and tried to focus again on the rhythmic movement of your body alongside his. 

“Yeah, okay,” you chuckled, deciding to play along. 

“What?” He had asked, amused. 

“I do look stupid, don’t I?” 

And Conrad couldn’t contain it then as he looked at the knowing smile on your face. He laughed with you as you shook your head and rubbed your face in defeat.

“You’re not that bad,” he had tried to console, taking your hands back in his, doing nothing to hide the massive grin on his face. “Just a little more practice and you’ll be as good as a deb. Seriously.” 

“You and your lies, Conrad Fisher,” you had accused lightheartedly with a growing smile on your face. You knew you were hopeless at dancing. 

Hell, even Conrad knew you were hopeless at dancing. But it gave him an excellent excuse to hold your hand … and study your face, which mysteriously always seemed to have gotten more beautiful even after the countless summers Conrad had spent admiring it. 

“You just need to slow down your movements,” he had said as he placed one hand on your waist and gently held your hand in the other. “Feel the music and all that shit.”

“Right, of course.”

“Feel the rhythm.” 

“Yes, uh huh, I totally know how to do that.” 

“Let your body do the leading.”

“God, don’t say that,” you had laughed again at his cheesy admonitions that he swore were helping you reach your unfathomable potential as an excellent dancer. Your cheeks flushed a little as you threw your head back to laugh.

“What?” he had looked up to grin at you. “It’s helping.” 

And you hadn’t noticed it yourself but his stupid advice really was helping. Your feet no longer seemed to be in a frenzy and you had started dancing with a lot more elegance than before. It was certainly progress. 

It was strange then, how quickly the ambiance in the room changed. The sunlight that danced in the Fisher living room suddenly felt a lot more momentous, the calming waltz music a lot more romantic and suddenly Conrad’s hand on your waist was emitting too much heat. The slow swaying didn’t do much to diffuse the tension either and it didn’t take long for Conrad’s eyes to soften as they looked into yours. 

“I wasn’t kidding, you know,” he had said then, almost whispering it, as if he wanted to make sure you were really hearing him. “You do look great. You always do.”

And this time, your eyes roamed his face – really roamed his face – to check if he was lying. And sure, he had rendered you speechless before, but this time felt different. This time, it didn’t just stop at a simple hand on your waist or a soft smile shared by the beach or a good morning text that contained one too many emojis. 

This time, his eyes wandered down to your lips and it seemed like they were glued there for an eternity. Like no matter how hard Conrad tried, he could not get enough of them. Your breath hitched in your throat as his thumb gently grazed the back of the hand that he had clasped, eyes flickering back to yours for a second as if to ask permission to meet your lips before you heard footsteps in the hallway.

“Conrad! Mom’s asking for you!” Jeremiah called, and you quickly let go of his hand and stepped away, trying your best to play off everything that had just happened. 

So no, Conrad doesn’t remember much from that lazy summer afternoon at all, except for every detail of you that he can possibly memorize, that he can play in his head over and over again.

__________

Conrad Fisher was many things — sailor extraordinaire, a destined D1 athlete, a gifted student — but he had never been a good communicator. This was a known fact, yet the gravity of his ineptness at communicating showed itself in more blatant ways as the years went on. 

He had certainly grown up now and if anyone had noticed, it had been you. His hair was a little longer, his muscles more defined and he had long ditched his dorky baseball hats and glasses. He talked less now than he did at the age of fifteen and his eyes had assumed a sort of glassy cover, a shield to hide what he was really thinking or feeling at any given moment. You had noticed these changes – it was hard not to: you two had always been close.

But, much to your dismay, your attempts at getting Conrad to talk to you hadn’t worked. At all. He had grown colder with each attempt and frankly, you had had enough. After spending much of your day trying to convince Conrad to go to one of Nicole’s parties with Jeremiah, Belly, Steven and you, you had finally given up. If he wanted to distance himself from you, there was nothing you could do and that was a bitter truth you had to accept. You were tired of running after him only for him to change course so fast that you got lost in the process. 

And so, here you stood by yourself in Nicole’s crowded living room as people jumped and swayed all around you, drink in hand. Jeremiah had walked off somewhere with some guy he had just met and Steven had left the party long ago with Shayla. Even Belly, who normally remained at your side, had found some company with Cam, some guy that she had met at the bonfire just a week prior. 

You swirled the drink in your hand as you looked at Cam and Belly sitting together on a couch a few feet away. You smiled as Cam extended a hesitant hand to tuck Belly’s hair behind her ears and saw Belly blush. It was bittersweet then, how quickly your loneliness seemed to catch up with you.

You’d always had a thing for Conrad. You were convinced almost everyone knew at this point. Conrad knew for sure, yet he did nothing to show that he felt the same. His cruel treatment had reached a precipice this summer, and you found yourself exhaling through your nose heavily. You were so done with Conrad.

“Hey,” you felt a tap on your shoulder, “[Y/N], right?” 

You turned around to an attractive blonde guy towering over you, shooting you a quick friendly smile. You hadn’t really talked to the guy before but you’d seen him around the country club. Standing in the dimly lit room, he didn’t look half bad. 

“Yeah,” you smiled back at him, crossing your arms over your chest nervously. “Sorry, who are you?” 

“Ben,” he said as he took a step closer. “Wanna dance?”

You looked around for a second, unsure of whether or not you should accept his offer. You were about to politely decline the blonde’s offer before you saw Conrad walk into the living room, beer bottle in hand and a blank expression on his face. His eyes caught yours as they surveyed the room and flickered quickly to the tall guy beside you. Conrad felt it then, in every part of his body: a strange, prickling sensation followed by waves of anger. With his jaw set, he was sure his eyes were about to turn green with jealousy any moment now. 

“Yeah,” you turned to Ben beside you, taking your eyes off of the scowling Conrad that stood across the room. “I’d love to.” 

It hadn’t originally been your intention to make Conrad jealous. Your acceptance of Ben’s offer was more for yourself. You needed to show yourself that you could move on, be wanted by people who aren’t distant or cold. People who aren’t jigsaw puzzles, those who don’t need to be cried over because you cannot, for the love of God, figure them out. You wanted something simple for once. You wanted someone who didn’t want you in secret, if at all.

It had only been a few minutes into the song before you found your eyes involuntarily wandering over to Conrad, leaning against a wall and taking a swig of his beer. His eyes had been burning holes in your head the entire time, and as you finally made eye contact with him, he did nothing to turn them away. He brought his bottle to his lips once again as his eyes remained on you, silently conveying his dismay. 

“Are you and him a thing or something?” Ben asked as his eyes followed to where you were looking. He wore a friendly smile, one that would show that he wasn’t mad at the prospect, just curious.

You scoffed as you shook your head. “Absolutely not. Just friends.” It hurt a little to say it out loud, but you had to face the fact that it was the truth. No matter how much you wanted him to do more, to be more, he was just a friend. Nothing more. Nothing less.

“Good,” Ben had smiled as his hands found your waist and he took a step closer. His hands slipped a little lower as you two danced to whatever pop song was playing in the background and you breathed a laugh as he whispered corny jokes in your ear. He was so simple. It was refreshing.

“[Y/N]. We need to talk,” you heard Conrad say before you felt his hand on your shoulder, forcing you to turn away from Ben and look at him. 

But he wasn’t looking at you anymore. Instead, his eyes were fixed on Ben. They carried a silent warning, a sort of menacing ferocity that could only be generated by someone like Conrad, but Ben didn’t do much to heed it.

“We’re dancing, man,” Ben had said affirmatively as he placed a firm hand on Conrad’s chest to push him away and you held your breath as your eyes flickered nervously between the two guys. 

“Yeah, I can see that,” Conrad deadpanned. “But I need to talk to her.” He flicked Ben’s hand from his chest and took a step closer. “Got a problem with that?” 

Before any punches could be thrown, you hastily took Conrad’s hand to lead him away to the kitchen. You did not want a repeat of the bonfire last week, that much you knew. Conrad’s new personality change had also warranted his sudden affinity for picking fights.

“What the hell was that?” you fumed as you dropped his hand and looked at his blank face with nothing but resentment. “Seriously, who the fuck do you think you are?”

“Who do I think I am?” he yelled back, setting his bottle down and running a hand through his hair. “Who do you think you are? Ben? Really?”

“Yeah, Ben,” you had said in disbelief. “What’s it to you? How is it any of your business? What is wrong with you? What are you even doing here?”

He scoffed as he shook his head, feigning amusement. “We both know what Ben’s like.”

“What’s he like? Please, enlighten me, Conrad. Because I’m obviously just some little girl who has no idea what she’s doing, right?” The anger you felt in this moment could not be described. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that Conrad could barge into your life as he pleased, and walk out whenever you demanded more. It wasn’t fair.

“Ben’s a player,” Conrad said impatiently. “Stop yelling like a baby, [Y/N].”

You could almost laugh at the incredulity of it all. “What does that make you, then?”

“What?”

“God,” you tilted your head back in disbelief, a bitter grimace on your face. “How are you this clueless? Why do you keep stringing me along like this? You act jealous when I dance with someone else and then turn around and barely give me the time of day. I’m so done. I’m so done with waiting for you.” You exclaimed, taking deep breaths. “I… I want all of you or none of you. Just— Pick one.” You struggled to get the sentence out.

The anger in Conrad’s eyes had never fled as quick as it did that night upon hearing your words. His eyes softened once more as he took a step closer. “You have all of me already.”

“No, I don’t,” you took a step back and swatted away his hand that tried to reach out to hold your face. “And that’s fine. Seriously. I’m over– I can get over it. But stop fucking sabotaging me! I’m allowed to dance with people. I’m allowed to dance with Ben! Stop driving away people who actually fucking want me.”

It took a moment for your words to register for Conrad and he winced at the heartbreaking honesty of them. He knew he’d been an asshole. Everyone around him had done well to remind him of that every waking moment. But it killed him to think about how wrong you were. 

“I don’t want you to get over it,” he said, trying once more to take a step closer. 

“Excuse me?” You’d never slapped anyone before but this felt like the perfect opportunity.

“Because I do want you,” he whispered as he placed a tentative hand on your face and he was pleased to see you didn’t swat it away this time. “I’ve always wanted you. And I think I always will. I don’t want you to get over me,” he said again as he leant in a fraction of an inch and you could smell the booze on him. It was intoxicating to be this close. You were sure you could get drunk off of this feeling alone. Your eyes searched his as he leant in closer, “Because I don’t think I could ever get over you.”

You gulped as you saw his eyes jump to your lips. Your noses were almost brushing now and you could feel the ghost of his lips on yours. 

This was the moment you’d been waiting for since you two were kids. It was everything you thought you wanted. 

But the smell of booze on him was intoxicating for all the wrong reasons. 

It took everything in you to bring your hand to his chest and push him away. “You’re drunk, Conrad,” you pulled away, averting eye contact. “Go home.” 

And as you turned around to walk back to the living room, he couldn’t do much more than watch you leave, breathing heavily through his nose. He looked around awkwardly before spotting the drinks and picked up a bottle or two as he walked out the door. He’d be needing those tonight.

Conrad was many things – a shitty communicator, misunderstood, a full-on trainwreck – but he was also completely, absolutely in love with you. 

The only problem was, being a lovesick teenager without the ability to communicate was a bit of a tragic flaw.

_____________

You cursed profanities under your breath as you nervously looked around for Ben in the crowd. The overwhelming amount of eyes on you at this moment certainly was not helping and the weight of your white dress bore down on you worse than it had all evening.

Being a debutante this season had not been your idea. At all. 

And as you stood in the middle of the large banquet hall as your deb sisters paired up with their escorts, you couldn’t help but curse yourself for ever giving into Susannah’s request. 

“Jer!” you called nervously as you walked over to him in the midst of all the couples getting ready for the final waltz of the evening. “Have you seen Ben?” 

“Ben?” he questioned with furrowed brows as if he was trying to remember who that was.

“Yeah, uh, my escort?” you laughed nervously, continuing to look around, your hands folded over your stomach fiddling anxiously. 

“Oh right!” he exclaimed, before furrowing his brows again. “Didn’t he leave with Gigi’s sister like twenty minutes ago?”

“He left?” you asked incredulously to no one in particular as Jer had been roped in by Gigi, preparing for the dance that you were sure you would no longer be participating in. Belly shot you an alarmed look from across the room, as she stood with Cam’s arms draped over her waist. 

“Where’s Ben?” she mouthed silently and you had no answer to give. You looked around once again but it was hard to escape the humiliation of the whole situation. It felt like everyone was looking at you, like the whole room was silently remarking on how pathetic you looked standing there. You were just about to leave the dance floor when you caught Conrad’s eyes. 

Conrad, who sat with Susannah and Laurel and looked jaw-droppingly gorgeous in his suit.

Conrad’s eyes didn’t hold the same silent pity as everyone else. Instead, they seemed like they were gleaming. It seemed like he was waiting silently. Waiting for your permission to stand up and walk onto the dance floor. And, he must have seen something in your eyes then – something you didn’t even know you were concealing – because he stood straight up right then and walked over to you with the gentlest of steps. 

He wordlessly extended his hand to you and you took it quickly, keeping your eyes on his. And that’s when the music started. 

It felt so easy to dance with him. It was like it took no effort at all. Your bodies found the rhythm quickly and you couldn’t help but remember the dance practices he used to subject you two to when you were fifteen. 

“I’m getting deja vu right now,” you whispered to Conrad and your heart fluttered a little at how quickly a shit-eating grin appeared on his face.

“Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah,” you laughed a little and Conrad couldn’t think of much else but that laugh and that sound and how much he wanted to hear it again.

“Looks like you’re, uh– feeling the music,” he grinned as he tried his best to keep his voice down. You groaned silently as you remembered his cliche advice.

“Oh, god,” you shook your head, looking around quickly to make sure no one had noticed you two talking in the middle of your waltz. You were sure the dance teacher would have a meltdown if she saw.

“Feeling the rhythm.”

“Do not say it, Conrad,” you snorted a quiet laugh as you continued to sway.

“Letting your body do the leading,” he said finally through a laugh of his own, adding a suggestive eyebrow raise at the end. You shook your head fondly. Same old Conrad.

“Do I look stupid tonight, Con?” you asked then, a smile still on your face. Conrad stopped laughing then and his smile softened as he regarded you just as he had a couple of years prior. 

“No, you look beautiful, [Y/N],” he said simply, and he meant it. “As always.”

It was the truth. It had taken everything in Conrad to tear his eyes off of you when you had walked in with Ben. Ben, who was nowhere to be found right now. 

“Thank you,” you said with a small smile. “And thanks for stepping in like that. I know dancing isn’t really your thing anymore.”

“Who said dancing isn’t my thing anymore?” he asked with mock offense. “Maybe I’m just very selective with my dance partners.”

You chuckled, playing along once more. “Right, of course.”

You swayed in silence for a little while before Conrad broke it again. 

“I’m glad it was me,” he said quietly, but his tone carried the utmost sincerity. “I’ve kind of waited for this ever since that first dance rehearsal.” He breathed a quiet laugh and his eyes searched yours nervously, as if he was testing the waters. Testing how vulnerable he should be, given what transpired at that party. Though you had both gone on with life acting like that exchange hadn’t happened, Conrad couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

“I’m glad it was you, too,” you said slowly, as if you were testing the waters yourself. “Looks like you were right about Ben.” You finished with a bitter smile. As much as you didn’t want to admit it, every last one of Conrad’s words from that night at the party still rang in your ears. He had called Ben a player that night alone and you’d carelessly ignored him.

“He’s an asshole,” Conrad shook his head. “I’m sorry he did this to you.”

You found yourself feeling a little guilty at his apology because truth be told, you weren’t sorry at all. No matter how much you tried to convince yourself that your first choice for a dance partner and escort tonight would’ve been Ben, you couldn’t shake the allure of the tall, brunette boy standing right in front of you.

“I almost asked you to be my escort instead of Ben, you know,” you blurted out, filling with instant regret. “But– I guess… I just wasn’t sure if you would’ve said yes.” You cringed a little when you saw Conrad’s eyebrows furrow, showing he was deep in thought. You turned your eyes away quickly, suddenly embarrassed at his close proximity and his striking eyes fixated on you.

“I wish you would have,” he concluded finally and your eyes immediately shot to his. “I would’ve said yes. I’ll always say yes to you, [Y/N].” He added as a soft afterthought. As a tender observation that he wasn’t sure if he should be sharing. He gave your waist a gentle squeeze as if to reaffirm his words and you knew that you were a goner.

This time, it was your eyes that flickered to his lips. You were suddenly hyper aware of your senses and his overpowering cologne made you weak in the knees. 

That night, you cursed profanities under your breath a second time after the dance was over because if you two hadn’t been swaying at the momentous occasion that was your deb ball, in front of hundreds of people, you would’ve kissed him. Right then and there. 

_______________

“Steven’s going to kill you for eating the last of the blueberry ones,” you said with a giggle as you took a bite of your own muffin clutched in your hand, sitting in the passenger seat of Conrad’s car. 

“Don’t worry about me,” he remarked playfully, with a small smile playing on his lips as he reached for the last blueberry muffin collected on your morning muffin run. “I’m going to blame it on you.”

You roll your eyes and hit him on the shoulder lightly as his grin grows bigger. His lips had turned a little blue from the blueberries in the muffin and you couldn’t help but turn away, feeling your heart grow heavy with how endearing everything about him was. 

It had been a while since it had just been you and him, you and Conrad. Your eyes had still been groggy with sleep, your bedhead untamed when he had knocked on your door to ask if you wanted to go on a muffin run. Without thinking, you’d nodded at him with a smile and he’d told you to meet him outside in five. 

And, driving with him, the windows down and the morning air crisp, you quickly found yourself lamenting how much you’d missed this. 

You had been coming to Cousins for practically your whole life. That meant seeing Conrad was a given, a package deal. But the last few summers had been different, filled with strange tensions between you two that you could never seem to quell. 

This, though, was different. Conrad, thankfully, wasn’t in one of his moods this morning and his playful jokes reminded you so much of the Conrad you used to know. It felt easy to talk to him, sitting there in his car and listening to music, parked by the seaside. It felt wholesome. It felt simple. 

You were jolted out of your thoughts when you felt Conrad’s eyes on your face and you flushed as he smirked, as if you had just cracked the funniest joke he had ever heard.

“What?” you asked quickly. 

“Nothing.”

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you asked again, suddenly trying to check if you had something on your face.

Before you could pull your phone out to open the front camera, he took your face in his hands and turned it to face him. He gingerly brought his other hand to your lips to wipe some residue chocolate off, left behind from your muffin, explaining, “You’ve got a chocolate mustache.”

The action had been simple, yet it set your body aflame. His calloused thumb, from years of sailing and football, rubbed against your lips and you were sure then that your cheeks would burn his other hand placed on your face. 

And just like that, he was no longer looking at his hands on your lips. He instead brought his eyes to look into yours and the intensity of this moment – the intimacy of it – proved too much to bear. 

“You have blue on your lips, too,” you tried to joke, trying to diffuse the tension but the effort was meager at best. 

“Do I?” he had whispered absent mindedly, as if he hadn’t really heard what you had said at all. And if he was being honest, he hadn’t. Everything about you in this moment was distracting for him and he couldn’t focus on what you were saying even if he wanted to. His eyes were glued to your face – to every part of it. It was like he was looking at it for the first time and he wanted to burn every detail into his memory. He ran his thumb on your lip again before finding his voice, “[Y/N]?”

“Yeah?” 

“Can I…?” he’d begun to ask before trailing off and with everything he had in him, brought his eyes to yours. “Please.” He begged breathlessly, as if he were a starving man and you were his last meal. 

That was all the convincing you needed. Your head was spinning as you quickly brought a hand to his jaw and pulled him in over the center console of the car. Your lips met in a desperate, passionate clash and you breathed in sharply through your nose as you kissed him with all you had. His lips were soft against yours and his hands had a mind of their own as they took you in – all of you. Your hands quickly wound up around his neck, pulling him closer as one hand tugged slightly at his hair. Your noses brushed as your lips parted slightly, and Conrad was quick to deepen the kiss. 

It was like you could feel his heart beating alongside yours and the feeling was enough to show you stars.

When you two finally pulled away, you were both reluctant to let go completely, sitting with your foreheads pressed, eyes closed, breath mingling together. Conrad had never been a religious guy, but in this moment, he couldn’t help but pray that he would get to do that again everyday for the rest of his life. 

“Fucking finally,” he whispered as he opened his eyes to look at you with a dazed smile. You laughed as you nodded, at a loss for words. He tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ears before tucking a hand under your chin to pull you closer again.

“Your lips are still blue, you know,” you mumbled against his lips and felt him smile into you. 

“Are they?” he smirked as he nipped at your bottom lip, before pulling away again to look at you. “Yours are too, now.” He replied smugly, leaning in again. It was your turn to smile into the kiss this time.

“Wait,” you said abruptly, pulling away. “Is this all a clever ploy to blame me for eating the last blueberry muffin?”

Conrad laughed at this and it was the first one of those loud, content laughs you had heard from him all summer. “Maybe. I guess you’ll never know,” his last words were muffled as he brought your lips to his smiling ones yet again. 

And Steven did end up killing you that night… not because he thought you ate the last of the blueberry muffins, but because he saw you and Conrad making out on the living room couch. Much to his dismay, he was subjected to witnessing that quite frequently from thereon onwards.

And no amount of blueberry muffins could ever quiet the eardrum-crushing shriek he'd let out everytime he spotted it.

___________

tags: @gillybear17

[ginger-berrie]

SO I JUST SAW FALSETTOS LIVE FOR THE FIRST TIME

HOLY SHIT OKAY. HEY GUYS I JUST GOT BACK FROM SEEING FALSETTOS. LIVE. MY FAVOROITE MUSICAL EVER. I HAVE WORDS TO SAY.

So firstly I of course have to say this musical is fucking phenomenal and if u havent seen it even on youtube you HAVE to. onne of the best musicals ever wrutten. ignore any typos in this my hands r still shaking and im not editing htis. OKAY.

The actors. It was a college level production but the actors were so so talented. My favorite performances were from Mendel and Jason, who both pulled off their roles INCREDIBLY. Mendel was like a carbon copy of Brandon Uranowitz he had his mannerisms DOWN. All the nervous ticks, touching his face, being generally so awkward all the time, even his face was just perfec t for the role. And Jason was played by an adult femme-presenting person but they were so good as him!!!!! their voice fit him perfectly and she also perfectly encompassed Jason;s awkward childlike nature. The entire cast was incredible but those two really stood out to me!!!! Everyone's singing voices as well were fantastic, especially Trina's—she KILLED the high notes and even sung up the octave on a few lines !!!! including the "but still the bastard divorced me" and she still belted the "you must exorcise a devil" even AFTER Im Breaking Down. In fucking sane.

THAT BEING SAID THOUGH. Even though i enjouyed every second of it I do wanna make some more analysis-related directing critiques because im fucked up and evil about this show . im so sorry just let me speak here meaout. Stating right now though I've only seen the 2016 revival (about 2 dozen times) and not the original 90's version (been meaning to watch it just havent gotten the chance) so i reserve all TRUE judgement until after I see it!!! maybe some of these choices were in the original but tbh if they were i still like how the revival did it better. okay i swear im not just one of those ppl who is like "tHaTS noT hOw ThEY dId iT On BroADwAy" calm down. thanks <3

First of all. Some of the scenes lacked energy !!!!! Thrill of first love had no homoerotic choreography!!!!! they just kinda sat there on the couch looking morose and barely looking at each other as if they truly just hate each other and feel ANYthing towards each other anymore at all. But thats not the point!!!!!! They dont fully hate each other theyre just lacking the excitement that they once had and it's been replaced with nothing but disagreements and sex. When Whizzer and Marvin do their gay little dance theyre not just dancing and being gross and sexual theyre also FIGHTING!!!! they still care about each other they just dont know how to act!!!! and marvin's a bitch of course. Marvin was still very much a bitch. But because of the lack of energy in this song there was a bit of a lack of chemistry between the two as well, which carried through the whole show. I feel like it's important to see just how gross fucked up n nasty these two are about each other to see how its truly affecting the other people in Marvin's life. Even their chemistry during the chess game was lacking. They just kinda felt like they really hated each other. Which isnt the pointtttttt. Guh

Trina (or the directors idk) also made some choices I wasn't 100% on board with but they were more subtle. Mostly in her tone about Mendel. Up through Please Come To Our House she seemed to really really like Mendel. Like it was clear she was attempting to woo him. But then when he was proposing, and when they were maknig their home together, she just seemed. Unenthused. I know Trina truly doesn't really love her life, and just needs the stability of a nuclear family, but it was odd to see her not even attempt to keep up the facade on her own. Her and Mendel were similarly lacking in a lot of chemistry because of this, which, maybe to some of you makes sense but to me i do want to see them be close even if Mendel isn't absolutely the best.

LAST CRITIQUE OKAY. This one is BIG SPOILERS if u havent seen it yet but probably if ur reading this far youve already seen it okay. The fuckign bar mitzvah!!!!! There was no acknowledgement from Whizzer to Jason as he was reading his Torah !!!!!!! He just layed there in the hospital bed, facing AWAY from the audience so we could only see the very top of his head (which was on purpose for a quick change but) and he didnt get up at all to thank Jason or even acknowledge him :( for all the audience knows maybe he didnt even see Jason get bar mitzvahd. screaming crying throwing up.

OKAY IM DONE W BEING MEAN HERES A BIG CHANGE I REALLY LOVED !!!!!! as well as some smaller changes that i also really liked or were jsut neutral things i noticed

For most of act 2, up until Days Like This, They had this really cool circus imagery? Now once again idk if this is in the OG, but they had a picture of each cluster of characters set up on either side of the stage, and each of them was doing some sort of circus act both in the pictures and on stage, especially during A Day in Falsettoland. When a character was having their point in the song, they'd sometimes cut the lights briefly and suddenly the characters would be struggling to perform their little circus act, and each of them had a differnt one respectively and they all represented their immaturities/flaws/struggles:

Jason was on stilts, representing his need to grow up and perhaps his perceived mental maturity compared to the other characters

Trina was balancing/spinning plates on sticks, representing her need to keep balance and order in her life

Marvin + Whizzer were fencers because of their lingering animosity, yet newfound respect, for one another. Fencing isnt a dangerous sport, like you dont actually hurt your opponent in it, but it;s still a fight and youre still pointoing a weapon at them. guh. (AND BTW they did this during the racquetball scene and HOLY SHIT. I just gotta describe this one. Racquetball number 1 They had their little racquets as they were singing to each other but then when they got really into the game the lights would cut and then theyd be FENCING each other instead!!!!! and then the lights would cut again and itd go back to racquetball!!!! BUT THEN in the racquetball number 2 when it cut to them fencing ONLY MARVIN HAD A SWORD. WHIZZER STILL HAD HIS RACQUET. GIUUHUHGGHGHGHGHGH.;..,.,/;;'.';.;'[[[.)

Then the lesbians from next door were like a duo balancing/acrobatics act where they were always leaning on each other and picking each other up which was cute but also like. Charlotte would start falling in one direction and Cordelia would have to scrambke to catch her. I always hail them as the healthiest couple in the show but sometimes i forget they have problems too, like Cordelia;s insecurity and Charlotte's stress over the virus of course.

And finally Mendel!!!! was the fucking ringmaster!!!!! He had a hoop and a top hat and every time he was trying to calm down Jason (Everyone Hates His Parents), or Caroline, or Trina (A Day in Falsettoland), he would appear with his hoop and top hat, to show that HE is the one who needs to "control" other people's lives, or at least he feels the need to direct them. Mendel of course needs to feel like he's smarter than everyone else and like he's the only one who can help people. It really drove that home and it was an insane realization to come to. Phenomenal directing choice idk who came up with that but. bravissimo to you

Now miscellaneous stuff i liked or noticed!!!

They didn't have the big ol foam block. just some couch ends that they moved around to be diff pieces of furniture. If you've ever seen Waiting In The Wings' analysis on falsettos you might have seen a comment in the youtube section discussing how in the set design for the revival, the lack of real furniture through most of the show represents the lack of maturity of the characters, and as things get serious for them, more real props and set pieces get added. Like the chess board, the decor for Mendel + Trina's home, Whizzer's suitcase, the whole hospital room, etc. They didn't lean into that with this but i think that's fine! its not a necessary detail in my opinion and they did their best with what they had!!

Marvin didn't hand whizzer the suitcase after the chess game. He just grabbed it, and packed it himself. I was waiting for him to slam it into whizzer's chest or something. but no. Whizzer just picked it up and walked off. okay. Neutral bad change imo

Marvin's performances of What would I do and What more can i Say were. Breathtaking. Marvin actor if you're out there reading this your voice is lovely and carries so much emotion in your solo numbers. I Did Cry. a little bit

god their group number harmonies were AMAZING. All of the cast members' voices blended together so well and it was absolutely beautiful. the whole show was beautiful and i adored it i swear. I jsut need somwhere to put my feelings

THE ORCHESTRA FUCKED. IT FUCKED

Okay its getting late now and im fading quickly BUT IF U READ THIS FAR UR INSANE. This is for me and nobody else i just eneded to feelings dump. tl;dr: i fucking lvoe falsettos this was one of the best nights of my life i love you actors i love you pit i love you lighting i love you run crew i love you sound crew i love you musical theatre

[lunas-side-anime-blog]

AOT Icks (Eren, Armin and Mikasa)

one thing about me: i am a hater

Eren

def has mommy issues and no woman could ever compare to her like good luck to any of his girlfriends lmao

^^ that being said, as a roommate he’s a nightmare like you can tell his mom cleaned up after him all the time because it doesn’t even occur to him to do so now

toxic gym bro who says shit like “we all have the same 24 hours”

def has the the 3 in 1 bottle in his shower, I just know it

prob calls women “females” 

the cringiest instagram captions like I know he will post sum: “I think my closet bi-polar, it keeps throwing fits💯”  like dude, get a grip

attempts thirst traps, he has a ripped body so it kinda works but the content is so transparent you can’t help but roll your eyes

go out to a bar with him or something and he’s the type to try to make everything a fight

like if someone bumps into you, he's quickly in their face like "what's good bro😡” and you know its not actually about you so much as eren tryna beat someone up

i think he’ll use spit as lube thinking he’s so bad boy and lewd when it’s actually just so bad for your PH like ewwww (if u have a vag ofc)

i feel like his hair would get so greasy, mikasa and armin have had to force him down with shampoo in hand before 

so gross but you came here for icks and I don’t believe Eren believes in holding back his farts for anyone

it can be the most intense and serious event like a funeral and he’ll rip a loud one and be like “what? it’s not good to hold it in??”

Armin

nail biter who will chew on them till the bone and you hear that loud ass “crONCh"

says he hates drama but that’s just something he says to not seem petty bc at the first sight of a fight best believe he’s sitting there, watching it all go down, wine glass in hand like "🍷🤨👂" 

lil shit will even add lil comments to keep the beef alive, like i can see him loudly asking “okay but jean didn't you say her outfit made her look fat though?”

if you're in a debate with him, he’s the type to say something like “you're so uneducated about the subject, I’m actually pretty well versed in it” and your like "okay so what's all ur research then?" and he'll just quickly change the subject bc he didn’t actually have sources to cite lmao

is one of those bfs who would make fun of you for liking trashy tv but guess who eats that shit up everytime? armin.

he does that dad thing where he walks around in the living room and acts uninterested with what’s happening on the screen but he’s actually so invested and would be fuming if you dared watched an episode without him 

i think he’d also be the type to try to be friends with his ex even if they obviously still have feelings for him, but if you dared even talk to yours he’d get all huffy and puffy like “go be with him then🙄” 

got obsessed with skincare after watching your routine but u kinda created a monster bc now he’s critiquing your products and techniques? “Babe you should really consider a gel moisturizer, it’s better for your pores'' and you're like, “boy you used neutrogena when I met you???” 

is that bf who will shower at your place and use up all your expensive washes and scrubs 

not the best gift giver tbh, I think he’s a firm believer that all gifts should be practical so even if it’s a romantic anniversary date and he slides over a lil present, it’s probably just gonna be socks or something, srry

Mikasa

applies her chapstick like a man (iykyk)

“he know where home is” bitch, I hate to say it

i think she’s a girl’s girl until her man cheats on her, then she’d be the type to fight the girl and not really address her man…which is just… 😣

as a friend I think she’s sadly the type to unintentionally embarrass you bc she doesn’t get some social cues.

like you can miss a hang and ppl ask where you are and she’d just say matter of factly “oh they’re fine, they just have diarrhea rn!” and she won’t understand why you’d be mad?

outfit repeater to the max, she has like three tops that she likes and all pics of her are with her wearing one of those three tops

a lil delulu and prob genuinely believes all the tiktok pick a card vids on her feed

likes her coffee black and somehow thinks she’s better than everyone for that???

as a gf she checks your snap score and location regularly and has no shame in it 🙂

fights in her sleep like you will just be sleeping next to her all soundly and next thing you know you get punched in the face? she refuses to apologize in the morning bc she “has a right to defend myself in a nightmare” or whatever

when shes mad at someone she’ll post like ultra specific lyrics or captions and it’s so obviously targeted at one person everyone else is like "girl go to bed, don’t even post the quote…"

[daemon-in-my-head]

I'm still on my elf Durge BS cuz lord the angst, the twisted irony, its just so hrgnh.

Childhood Durgetash is cute, but what about young adult durgetash? Fresh out of HoH Gortash who hears about that established Bhaalist leader just for them to be an utter BRAT cuz they're still very much "um actually I'm a minor in my own culture and head so damn u Orin" constantly using the fact that they're """"technically"""" not an adult in their culture as an excuse for literally everything.

Or the whole drawing of the Veil bit? Have it happen while Gortash is there. Make Durge break into a million little pieces, cuz the drawing of the Veil is accompanied by grief and loss and trauma, the grief and loss Gortash will soon feel himself when Durge is ripped away from him. Make him comfort or laugh about Durge just to suffer the same soon enough.

Neither Durge nor Gortash had any responsible adults in their lives so now they have to become responsible adults themselves with 0 reference and watch it go to shit but somehow it still works and they grow together still. Added hilarity cuz Durge should know all this shit but has actually 0 idea and is just like "yeah well gotta head out, make money, buy milk, use send once you've wrapped up here."

A Durge that constantly taunts Gortash, saying they're older just to be utterly and thoroughly confused by the concept of taxes. Or buying/renting real estate. Cuz they never in their century had to, and whatever the fuck Gortash is doing just confuses the hell out of them whereas Gortash is just taunting them back now cuz they may be older but they have 0 life experience whatsoever.

Or a durge with that simple elven mindset, looking at tacky devil in disguise Gortash and having a fucking aneurysm like "take it off or I'll firebolt your ass out of it" (the one upside to Durges disappearance is that nobody critiques Gortashs cloak anymore.)

Also just something about these nice and elegant and eloquent elves being utterly insane and everything an elf isn't supposed to be. Watch them at a banquet be the perfect stereotype (cuz that's all they know) of an elf and back in the temple or black keep they're a feral cat or smth dropping random body parts on Gortashs desk a la "dear I've brought u smth". Just utterly unhinged and anything but noble or elegant or eloquent for that matter. In public their speech is all frilly and back at home they're cursing like a sailor threatening the universe over the mildest inconvenience.