#and like. gay pll exist

[inkskinned]

pay attention to how your partner values your time.

i mean this beyond things like how much time you spend at work or how often you answer their text messages.

if you spend hours getting ready for them, do they value that effort? if you plan a meal and do all the shopping and prep and cooking for it, is it just dinner for them? do they notice the small chores you're always doing, or does it just magically "get done" when they're not looking? do they notice when you've spent time for them, or is it just something that is expected to happen?

my ex understood our relationship as some kind of credit service. he would do something large and nice for me maybe once or twice a season - and then "collect" on that credit for a while. my time was not as valuable as his - i was expected to give up my time for things like the upkeep of our relationship, chores, everything. even though i was in school and employed (and honestly doing more than he was), he assumed my time couldn't be better spent. he used to say i was just "better" at the daily stuff. he was my first longterm boyfriend - i hadn't been taught it. it didn't come naturally. it's just that if i didn't do it, he valued his time too much to do it for me.

recently i saw a video of a man smashing a cake into his new wife's face after she explicitly asked him not to. i'm glad that these days, most people don't find it funny. but still, someone comments: girl, just wipe it off and jump back into the party! but the fact of the matter is - even if it wiped off perfectly, even if the makeup only took a few minutes to reapply, even if the dress wasn't ruined by the oil in the icing - she would have to spend time away from her own wedding in order to do it. her new husband - he gets to laugh and sit around and party. she has to leave her loved ones and go be alone to handle the results of his prank. it might be the only day she gets to see some of these people; but that time spent (the makeup, the dress) is just valued less. it's seen as inconsequential.

just... pay attention. is it normal for you to give up your time, but they wouldn't reciprocate? do they consider their hobbies essential while yours are just "useless ways to fill the day"? is going out with their friends a hallowed event that must not be interrupted - but at the same time, you find that you're punished for or banned from similar events. do you do most of the upkeep? do you trust that if you needed to take a break, they'd absolutely pick up the weight? if you spend time and energy and effort on something, is that valued; or is it just a thursday to them.

[terrifyingstories]

i have been so absent for the best month of the year because of life things but i should mention that melissa hastings is a funky horse girl london loving lesbian

on some level was always aware of this but also would immediately push it down any time she thought about it because Absolutely Not Allowed. in the hastings family sure other people are gay and it's okay i guess but not MY daughters. and melissa very much internalized that

big association with Doing The Right Things and love. when melissa soars and accomplishes, melissa is Good and Loved. everything is Right and anyone who complicates that narrative.. Bad. melissa spent a lot of time struggling with how she DOES feel this very genuine love and affection for spencer and how it's almost. Too Real. there's too much feeling in it. it's real and gritty and she would kill for it, she DID kill for it, and that's not the narrative. she doesn't want the emotion and the messiness.

she wants the simplicity of how her parents treat her after ian dies. how it's so very simple that poor melissa has lost everything and we have to wrap around her now and frankly? that doting and affection? so nice! hastings are viciousness and clawing your way to success and achievement but melissa didn't have to do anything to earn this. she didn't have to get the top score or the best job she won their love simply because of the guilt of having accepted ian so warmly and encouraged the relationship so completely and having allowed their daughter to be disgraced in this way.

she could just exist and have compassion and that felt like a rare feeling. there's something very simple about ian and how he ~takes care of her and that's addictive to melissa. she really does love him because of the certainty there and how that made her feel safe. feeling safe is so rare, and she did feel that with ian. ian would never make her feel something she didn't want to feel, ian would never push or challenge her and would say all the right things. she did feel like spencer was trying to take it away, this special little life she'd carved out for herself where she could live in a dream land and had earned their parents' approval and she wouldn't really have to feel anything messy or complicated at all.

she resents spencer for making it hard and complicated and pushing her to feel things she didn't want to feel, especially after bethany. spencer gets the realest parts of melissa, good and ugly. no one makes melissa feel more than spencer does and she struggles with that. struggles with how she does feel this empathy for her for having grown up in their war zone of a house and does feel this protectiveness of her and how neither of those feelings bode well for melissa, who just wants to coast through life and make their parents proud and keep from feeling anything too harshly and have an easy simple life.

melissa is ugly to people who make her feel.

in my tasha pll verse she and tasha bond as teenagers who are in very similar strict rigid families with a plethora of expectations none too easy to match and they develop feelings and attraction toward each other and as soon as melissa realizes she Cuts Her Off and years and years later is still talking shit because she can't Handle it. literally cannot forgive or deal with this person who made her feel something she isn't allowed to feel, and is so resentful of tasha for getting out of her awful family and finding a way to live her truth and be proud of who she is and not carry this shame melissa feels for loving women. it feels like a betrayal, almost, that tasha could do this and she couldn't.

being away in london helps melissa immensely. being away from rosewood and her parents and finally given the space to explore who she is outside of the Perfect Melissa Persona crafted by her family helps her start to allow these parts of her she'd buried and pushed down come to fruition. i don't know if she'd ever Come Out unless she met someone she allowed herself to care for enough to embody that part of herself in any real tangible way, but she allows herself to think about women and maybe even date women.

the time away helps her see her relationship with spencer more quickly and realize how much she does truly want to remedy things and have spencer in her life, wants spencer to have the freedom she has in london too. having spencer away from rosewood is safe in a way it isn't IN rosewood, with her parents around with all of their secrets with A with all of it. she can be more vulnerable with her with that distance.

spencer is probably the first and maybe the only person she could talk to about loving women, though maybe only because @lingeringscars' spencer is bi and it's something they share

also everything she says ever sounds shady and creepy and threatening even though it usually Isn't and i don't know if that will ever change i've tried to talk to her about it but she's just Like That

i don't think she really wants to be Happy so much as she wants to not ever feel anything very hard and have a life that looks nice from the outside and her parents can approve of and feel safe. but we're working on it we're trying

and like it is absolutely ridiculous, the lengths she will go to to have this, very much at the expense of anything Real, but it is also completely a survival mechanism and that should be said. it is very much melissa's way of trying to survive in the hastings family and it can be very ugly but it's all she knows

[themallonbisexualmess]

I love the idea of Clare as a character, let me explain

I think sometimes in media queer representation focuses on the stereotypes only. When actually every person express their sexuality in different ways. For instance, rosa Diaz is a bisexual woman who has a soft side and a rough side. She's both strong and in contact with her emotions.

However, media tends to show lgbtq + people in not an accurate way. That's why, and for Clare especially, I love that she's a lesbian woman who her persona is more than her sexual orientation itself. We know she's smart, she loves studying, she's trying her best to help others too! When in some cases like Emily from pll for example, we just know she's gay and swims that's all. Maybe that's why I like Clare so much, she makes justice to the idea that a good representation exists and should be more present on shows worldwide. A sexual orientation shouldn't be ridiculized or used as a cover to make characters less realistic or not well written. Clare is adorable, despite all her flaws. She's our wee lesbian, yes, but she's more than that too. She's human and well developed.

[butch-snufkin]

cisboys

ok fun fact when I was in elementary school I didn't have any friends and all the girls hated me because when we were really little I never hung out with them (I live in a place where everyone knows each other and barely anyone comes or goes so everyone's known each other for years). so I was just kind of alone and then randomly this group of like. Those™ jock himbo cishet guys decided to let me be a part of their group and they started calling me timmy and insisted on using he/him pronouns for me and whenever the teachers separated us into boys and girls they would make the teacher put me with the boys. it was tight but 10 year old me was like "what does it all mean???" 

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

ok so. i watched this degrassi video which was partially responsible for my current Situation. it's ok; it is absolutely not on the level of mike's on PLL. but towards the end of it she points out an absolutely UNREAL fact about the iconic degrassi the next generation season 3 episode "pride," which is about how marco is gay and ellie won't be his beard anymore and spinner is homophobic but jimmy is good now. in this episode, paige via her gay brother's beach day gaydar plants the seed in spinner that marco might be gay, which sets spinner off in a real crisis of masculinity wherein he immediately sets about trying to police marco's sexuality as aggressively as possible to either prove he's straight or like, catch him in the act and punish him for it? spinner's motivations in this episode are bizarre BUT in a way that does kind of feel in keeping with the general gender & sexuality weirdness of medium-to-mid-high-key homophobic straight teenage boys in like 2003 or whenever this was.

anyway. so as part of this he pushes marco into going out with hazel, specifically by getting marco & hazel to go on a double date with him and paige. and they're all like legit friends so everyone is actually having a pretty good time until ellie randomly shows up to buy coffee, stare meaningfully and judgmentally at marco for continuing to lie to himself because that is i swear to you what tv writers thought being an ally meant in 2003, and leave, and then marco goes into an existential crisis and makes an excuse about going to help his mom with her [intense italian accent] marinara sauce, and then spinner storms out after him because the existence of homosexuality is simply the most threatening thing in the entire world to him and yells about walking out on a date with one of the coolest girls in degrassi because of his mom's [intense canadian accent] pasta sauce, and marco tearfully comes out for the second time in his life, in a scene that is overwrought and melodramatic and also gets me very emotional every time i see it.

alright so BEFORE that scene. when they're in the double date. four people who enjoy hanging out with each other, laughing and vibing. the content of their conversation, in the glimpse of it that we see, is that marco is cracking everyone up by recounting for them the plot of a movie he has recently seen. and they never name the movie, and i to this day have not watched this movie, but the youtuber mentioned above has, and so she was able to identify the movie marco is sending his friends into hysterics by describing is................. pedro almodovar's talk to her. and i HAVE NOT been able to stop thinking about this. partly because i'm just like, why? who put that in there? was one of the writers an almodovar superfan and this was just a fun inside joke? did any of the actors know what movie it was? did they think it was funny when hazel suggested they all, including spinner, go see talk to her, a mental image on par with the time angela chase invited undiagnosed dyslexic and o.g. himbo jordan catalano and to see the bicycle thief? like, what?

but, also, the more i think about it, the more i really feel "marco attempts to be straight by telling his date about talk to her" is........ an incredible joke, accidental or otherwise, and very possibly the most vividly gay thing the show ever lets marco do, including kissing his boyfriend and sucking dick for euchre money. i mean. "i am doing such a great job of pretending to be a normal heterosexual fifteen-year-old boy on a normal heterosexual date with a real live girl, by gushing to her about the latest almodovar movie"........ like. that's Art, babe.

[gra-sonas]

Damn that ratings drop was brutal! NGL, after what they did in 2x2 I feel avenged but also I do love some of the cast so I feel bad too. Anyway, in your opinion, what do you think is a bigger factor in affecting ratings in an upcoming episode: the ep synopsis or the previous episode itself? Cuz I'm in the fandom and I don't even go searching for a sysnopsis. I highly doubt a casual viewer would. So thoughts?

Yeah, that drop was rather significant. :/

I think there’s more than one reason.

1/ The super long hiatus. Many casual viewers simply forgot the show even exists (there are still people on Twitter, who only now discover that the show wasn’t actually cancelled and is back for S2. I can’t even imagine how many casual viewers who’re not active on social media have no idea the show’s back).

2/ The total lack of promotion for the show between S1 & 2. The official social media accounts went radio silent after S1 ended, there was zero effort to attract new viewers by telling them the show’s on Netflix, or that there would be a S2.

3/ No new content for almost a year. The only new content we (as in 'the people already invested in the show’) got between S1 and 2 was random pics/vids and some spoilers the cast/Carina shared + the NYCC trailer. A trailer in super wonky, distorted quality, yet it still provided better and more exciting glimpses into S2 than the official S2 trailer did (which was only released about 2 weeks prior to the S2 premiere…) So for almost 11 months, there was basically nothing to get people excited unless they were actively looking for news. 

4/ Lacklustre S2 promo. CW promo’s always kinda bad, but the one for RNM is pretty much non-existent. Leading up to S2, there was nothing but the occasional pre-scheduled promo post (with S1 promo pics and clips and the hint to download the CW app or sth like that). And they didn’t even start to promote S2 until about two weeks before to the premiere. They had to cancel a press day bc of COVID-19, instead they’ve organized the weekly IG takeovers now, which are really cool, but also mostly of interest to those who’re already following the show more closely. Any casual viewers are probably unaware.

Currently it seems like the CW PR team pretty much forgot about the show (we didn’t get any 2x03 promo pics prior to the episode, and they didn’t release a preview clip either). There’s basically no effort made to promote the show, and I’m not even talking about huge billboards or AOL Build talks (though stuff like that wouldn’t hurt), just… IDK, keeping things going and flowing between S1 & 2, and actively making more people catch up on S1 on Netflix could’ve gone a long way, y’know. :/

I think the lack of PR on every level is definitely playing a role in the dropping numbers. It shows, that not only didn’t they manage to attract new viewers, they even lost S1 viewers. Whether that’s entirely due to the lack of promo, or is in part to blame on the writing, is impossible to say.

5/ That being said, S1 didn’t exactly end in a good place, and 11 months is a looooong time to forget about characters you may have cared for (just a normal amount :P) a year ago. I don’t know how happy or unhappy casual viewers have been with the show’s writing, but you don’t have such a drop in ratings just from a lack of promo.

No idea whether this will change anything in regards to the writing of the show next season. Who knows how decisions by TV higher ups are made, where the ‘blame’ is put for stuff like that, and whether Carina would actually be ‘ordered’ to make changes? (I don’t really think that will be the case tbh)

For now, we don’t have to worry, S3′s a go, and once that’s wrapped, I doubt the show’ll get cancelled (broadcast syndication/international sales is where The CW makes most of their money, and the more episodes a show has, the more valuable it becomes for syndication and outside-of-the-US sales).

Another bonus: they’re filming in Santa Fe, which is cheaper than LA, Georgia or Vancouver (where many other shows are produced) and comes with additional tax incentives. The cast isn’t as expensive as the cast of most other CW shows either, neither does the show rely on expensive special effects (like all the Arrowverse shows) - all good reasons for the CW to keep the show in production, especially as a mid-season show.

Dropping viewership numbers still suck tho, and I feel sorry for the cast. :(

They’ve been working so hard for almost 8 months to make the show, the least The CW could do is properly promote it, and also look for more opportunities to get the cast out for interviews (like, why isn’t there a single RNM related interview with Tyler about Alex Manes in S2 - a gay amputee veteran character -  or an interview with Trevino, he was at atVfest, and last year he did an interview or two, but apart from that, there’s nothing, and both Trevino and Tyler are two of the ‘bigger names’ on RNM, with people knowing them from their TVD/PLL days).

And please, for the love of humans and aliens alike, up your laaame social media game, CW pr team. The RNM Costume IG account is doing a much better job at promoting the show than you, and it’s NOT ACTUALLY THEIR JOB.

[fthisshiiimout]

Hearing Vlamis in interviews really gets under my skin. I get that you have to prop up your current storyline and all..but it encroaches on disrespect to being downright to not only the Malex storyline but to fans as well. How can in the show his character call their connection "cosmic", yet in interviews keep going off about how much "Your character loves Maria" and " Shes your safe place". Or how your character feels some type a way about Alex but really "feeling his friend".. Or some BS like that..It really cheapens the storyline and his character as a whole. I feel as if the more he keeps talking the LESS i want to watch.

When I started watching I kinda thought it was a cool concept ( Super Big X files fan here, it was my generation) albeit for a slightly younger crowd. Ive always been big into sci fi stuff in general. I also liked the "small town" feel of it.

I also recognized Tyler Blackburn. I never watched PLL..actually..funny..i forbade my girls to watch it.Just the name alone was enough for me ..and teenage girls are scandalous enough without outside influences..guess I was "That mom".. Lol..but in reality who didnt know him? Anyways i digress..

I actually connected with the characters. Funny Michael first and foremost. I was raised for a chunk of my life in the NH Foster care system. Bounced from home to home..group homes..orphanages..ect till my parents got their shit together..but i understood to a point where Michael was coming from. Also being Bisexual as well helped.

But what really drew me in was the Alex/Michael dynamic. It was electric! The chemistry was off the charts. I felt that through the screen. I felt Michael's desperation for acceptance and love. You could see instantly that he felt that with Alex on some level in the beginning. I could also see Alex's hesitation and fear, eventhough you dont find out till really why till later in the season, but that to me is what came across the screen. Never shame but a healthy fear of something.

As the season progressed , and esp the flashback episode, i really started to relate and understand Alex more. He lived his life embedded in Fear. His outcast status in school, being bullied, being gay in a very red small town, mother abandoning him, Overbearing homophobic military father. Holy shit..no wonder why hes fucked up! But I also saw how kind and caring he was. His love of music speaks volumes to me as a music lover. I saw how he was with Michael..it was sweet.. I even understood their connection more. But i also got the shattering too. Because of his father too. To a point.

My biggest gripe about this show is the lack of letting the characters breath and show more of an organic growth. The scenes seem cut super short and alot seems to happen off screen that now im not sure what part of a progression in the storyline im watching. Is anyone else noticing this?

Vlamis isnt helping me understand this at all. I still do not understand the Michael and Maria storyline. I saw them as friendly.. Maybe less..but love..mmmm..not sold. It feels hurried,half assed and non existant. I mean God..Ive slept with my bartender a time or 2..but it def wasnt love..no matter how much Ive flirted with them.. Or listened and talked to them. And she treats him like a dog..does no one else see that? Talk down to him..and is really rude..how do you talk that up? And on his end its just as fucked up. I literally do not see the connection! I see interracial love everywhere. I dont see it here.

I just dont get it! If your fanbase is mostly Malex and Echo..why for the love of God..send someone out to push a storyline very few are watching! The ratings are tanking, hemmoraging..yet you continue to spout it at every interview! God..its ignorance and stupidity rolled into one! Seriously! Just stop!

[non-binharry]

Hii! I just wanted to explain my own perspective/story on Harry and gender identity. Now, I'm a cis woman so I don't have any personal experience and can only really imagine the struggles.. so if I offend or am wrong about something please correct me, I am here to learn! Also this will be long so I have to split it in parts, hope it works. Will use the signature 'A' to identify myself (which now sounds ominous haha) this ain't pretty little liars :p but anyway on to the actual point...

i’m gonna put under the cut because it’s longish

I have been in the fandom since 2013. On and off during this time cause of all the drama. Always supported the boys though and always believed in Larry. Now, Harry have always been breaking gender norms in one way or another, even if it was more subtle at the time. I loved this a lot cause I'm firmly against gender roles and that anyone can't 'do something' cause of that. What bothered me was that some people used to say Harry was 'the woman' in the relationship because... /A

... he liked to cook and clean and do chores. Or because of being the bottom/submissive or what else. So it was the focus on that, that bothered me. I'm a woman but I am totally the opposite of the gender-role of 'woman' and that is okay. I wanted Harry to be able to do whatever and dress however but still be him. I felt like it was a great change in the world. So when people used 'she' for Harry it did bother me cause it felt like they took that away. Also when he started dressing /A

... femininely and wearing nailpolish etc. Harry looks gorgeous in anything and that lace dress especially killed me. I did have in the back of my mind that Harry could be questioning and that it went deeper than just representation and what he liked to wear, and I would support him/her/them/ no matter what. I just didn't feel comfortable saying it as fact since I really didn't know and again anyone should be able to look and act how they want to. I simply needed 'more' than that. /A

... Then came Fine Line. And it settled things for me. 'She' was the final piece. The Falling video broke my heart into a million pieces. I then started to go back and look at things in a different light, as far back as the 'painted nails make Harry beautiful' and I did see signs I hadn't before. Now I feel comfortable thinking Harry probably does identify as non-binary or something outside of just cis. I am still learning and while I have known more about transmen and women for a while... /A

... non-binary is very new to me and more complex. Which, people are obviously complex so it makes sense. But I wanted to thank you for explaining things on this blog, it's very interesting and informative! I look forward to learning more! :) Sorry for this long-ass message, just wanted to really explain my view on things. Have a great day and take care

first of all, the pll joke is god tier

i can definitely understand why there would be so much controversy about these remarks because unfortunately they still play into heteronormative ideals. regardless of whether harry is trans or not, ascribing him the role of the woman in a gay relationship because he does things outside of the normal gender roles expected of a man is a toxic attitude (my dad was literally the stay at home parent who cooked and cleaned and took care of us while my mom worked so i don’t play about this) 

all of these things are part of harry as a person, but they’re not inherently tied together and they’re not the same for every person either. he’s not submissive because he’s trans, or he’s not trans because he subverts gender roles. he’s trans and he’s submissive (👀 no one @ me lmao) and he loves to cook for his man. that’s just harry and it’s intrinsic to his own identity.

i’m glad i can help you understand more about non-binary genders. it is complex and there are layers and layers (don’t even get me started on something like being a woman existing as a man performing as a woman lmaooo) to each person and harry has layers too which people shouldn’t dismiss just because they can’t see or understand how it works, or because it’s simpler to look at it in a binary way.

your messages were lovely and i’m grateful that you shared this with me!! i do appreciate the perspective from cis people too, because while i get it and got it, it’s interesting to see how y’all did/do as well. 💗

[petersthree]

How about 'don't get me started' on your least favorite story tropes

Oooh so I already did one about “homophobe is secretly gay” tropes but there’s def more out there that I’m...not the biggest fan of. 

idk if this even counts as a trope, but the thought of mentally ill, trauma survivors, and/or addicts either being a) The sweetest beans with no poor qualities and just references to their life being “really hard” growing up or b) Extremely violent villains. 

There’s some shows where I think they get close to a good, nuanced view, or I see the potential (AOS, PLL) and I’m not saying there’s no show that does it correctly (LOVE the way TUA & THOHH shows the after-effects of trauma, as well as Steven Universe) but I feel like a lot of depictions I’ve seen have been “abuse victims will become abusers!” or “mentally ill people are violent murderers” and that’s just...so hard to watch. Or, on the flipside where you have writers (and honestly, fandoms) who are so desperate to not show anything negative about these topics that they make it into a “it’s okay! Everything is fine and there’s no long-lasting effects here”, oftentimes in the form of a character just....seemingly “forgetting” their trauma after the 2-episode arc they have on PTSD or trauma or whatnot. It’s okay to show that it’s not all rainbows and sunshine, it’s okay to show that there could be outbursts, isolation, withdrawing from other people, etc. 

These are real things and I think by not showing them you get audiences who know that the violent offenders trope is bad but don’t understand that negative coping mechanisms exist and that not every person is going to be that bright positive and/or comedic force (heck, there’s a great post on how people don’t like Steve, or Shirley from THOHH for those reasons!). I wish there were more nuanced and realistic takes on trauma and how it manifests in people and I’m kind of tired of either extreme of these tropes! 

SEND ME “DON’T GET ME STARTED ON” + A RANDOM TOPIC AND I‘LL ANSWER WITH A RANT ABOUT IT

[soul-music-is-life]

Homophobia IRL

I’ve seen the word homophobia being thrown around a lot these days. I certainly understand that context is everything (ie, I know it’s used as sarcasm a lot, and in the right form of dank/dark comedy it does work. I also know that there are people in the community who consider their battle with their sexuality to be a form of internalized homophobia because of their valid fears and emotions, and I don’t discount the use of the word in that context either). I also know that true homophobia, the one fueled by hate...the one that kills, it runs deep. That’s the word I’m talking about here.

I’ve been going back and forth on whether or not to say anything, but given the extremely vocal dissent and the hate that I’ve seen in the PLL fandom and the fact that I’ve seen that hate spill over to several friends/writers, as well as myself, I decided to clear the air about some things.

Before you accuse someone of homophobia, understand the connotations of that word. I’m aware that there are varying degrees of homophobia that exist. I’m aware that there truly are people out there who both consciously and subconsciously oppress and abuse the LGBTQ community.

I’m also aware that sometimes people throw the word homophobic at people who are not homophobic. I’ve seen it happen to The Perfectionists cast and crew (namely Sasha, Janel, and Marlene), as well as other content creators of different shows, and now some of the writers who write fics for that particular fandom.

I understand the frustration when it comes to lack of positive representation in media. I’m not someone who is going to downplay the fact that people have a right to speak up and civilly debate, airing their grievances and opinions about something they disagree with.

But the problem comes when people start accusing other people of being homophobic when they have no idea what that person’s journey has been like. The problem comes when you accuse someone of hate and bigotry who are not hateful or bigoted.

I am in my early 30s. Never once in my life have I been accused of being bigoted in any way. I grew up in a diverse neighborhood and have always seen humans. Not race. Not sexuality. Not gender. People. I see people. My actions have always reflected that. My writing reflects that. In fact, I don’t talk about it often, but in speaking out against things like racism in my writing, I gained the attention of the creators of Queen Sugar and I met the cast and crew, including Oprah (and Bianca Lawson/Maya, for all my PLL people out there). I have never been one to shy away from a controversial topic, especially when it comes to speaking up for people who are hated and oppressed.

So, being called homophobic (which happened this week), as you can imagine, draws a bit of ire in me. But there’s a first time for everything, I guess.

However, I’m putting that shit to rest. Right here. Right now. You want a story about the real life ramifications of homophobia and how it’s affected my life and the lives of my loved ones? I could write a book on the homophobia I’ve seen and spoken out against.

I had my wrist and three ribs broken defending my gay best friend in high school. And I’d go back and do it again if I could (maybe I’d try to get a few more licks in). Those bullies were homophobic.

When my best friend came out to his parents and was kicked out by his abusive father and crackhead mother, he snuck through my window. And he stayed the night. We cried together almost all night (I later found out that my mom knew he’d snuck in and didn’t say a word because she knew he needed his best friend, bless that woman for raising me the way she did). His parents were homophobic.

I saw another friend get fucking shot because of who he loved... (the gunman was homophobic).

...and yet another put a gun in her mouth because of the torment she endured for being gay. All I could do was talk her down, pleading for her not to pull the trigger. The people who pushed her to the brink of suicide with taunts about her sexuality were homophobic.

I held my lesbian friend’s hand as she sobbed about the fact that her parents thought she’d “grow out” of her phase and talked about sending her to conversion camp if she didn’t. Her family was homophobic.

When the Pulse Nightclub shooting happened, it hit doubly hard, not only because it was close to home and the LGBTQ community was attacked, but because my cousin had a friend inside. And for 24 hours we had no idea if he was dead or alive. Fortunately, he lived. The gunman who left him with three gunshot wounds was homophobic.

I watched two family members, knowing both were lesbian/gay, try to come to terms with how to come out...how to tell people they loved, people they feared may stop loving them, for who they were.

And going back to my best. fucking. friend, whose boyfriend died and he wanted to jump off a damn bridge because he knew no one would ever love him the way his boyfriend did...the hours and days I logged assuring him that he would find love again...only to lose him to an aneurysm months later and see that none of his family showed to his funeral because his sexual orientation, all I could do was be there.

I have many friends and family in the LGBTQ community and I’ve watched the struggles they've endured, only able to offer a friendly ear and a shoulder to cry on. All I could do was offer my number to call, any time...day or night. All I could do was offer my love, which sometimes was enough, and tragically, sometimes wasn’t.

All I have EVER done for my LGBTQ friends and family has been to be there. And while I may not understand what the struggle is like, I damn sure understand what it fucking feels like to see people I love suffering. I know what it feels like to continuously claw and fight for a better tomorrow.

Because it is not just the LGBTQ community who suffers at the hands of bigots. It is everyone who loves them, who sees what they go through, who knows their pain...who holds their hands when they cry, who stands up for them when no one else will, who loves them unconditionally...it is everyone who understands their plight, who is with them no matter what feels they feel. It is the people who continue to fight for a better tomorrow with and for their loved ones who truly get what this is about.

I’m not saying that I can put myself in the shoes of my LGBTQ family and friends. I’m simply saying that I’ve run next to them the entire time. And I will continue to do so, simply because Love. Is. Love.

The LGBTQ community means so much to me. I’ve lost people, people I loved, to bigotry and homophobia. I see people suffer every day solely because of who they are and who they love.

Homophobia is not a word that should be used lightly. Homophobia is a horrifying action that is the cause of real physical and emotional suffering. Homophobia, in terms of hatred does not mean fear. It means bigoted. It means hateful. So please, save that term for the actual homophobes.

I do know the difference between seeing the word used in jest on social media (predominantly tumblr where people make light of a shitty fictional situation) and seeing real life people who are not homophobic being accused of it. Don’t do the second one. If you do the second one, you’re an asshole.

One of my friends stopped writing fanfic over it. And I’ve got to say, I’m on the fence about doing any more of my own fics, though a majority of my fans are lovely and I adore them. The truth is, I’ve got too much going in my own life to be browbeaten online for content that I write for free for entertainment.

Don’t kill artists (or anyone) with hate. That’s all I’m saying. Because you have no idea what they’ve been through in life.

People have asked me how I am able to write violence and death so realistically.

It’s because I’ve lived it.

[thereisastorminsideofme]

Okay soo.. I'm just throwing it out here for those of you who have nothing better to do but listen (kinda) to this gay wreck (me).. I always looked for an excuse to make my brother see some tv shows with f/f couples I obsessed about (like PLL with emison etc..) to see his reaction or maybe even start a conversation (he's not homophobic but he doesn't really say good things about gay people), but without success.. I never seemed to convince him to watch the shows with me. The other day I was watching the third episode of Las Estrellas in italian on Tv (because here in Italy it's broadcasted on a Tv channel and some episodes are already online, so I can watch them whenever I want in my language, I know I'm pretty lucky ahah) and my brother was sitting beside me and without me saying anything, with one freaking episode he became obsessed with the show, and he wants us to watch the other episodes together.. so this means that he's not only going to witness some f/f love story, but the most beautiful and realistic lesbian storyline ever existed on tv and maaaybeee I have a chance to make him realize that same-sex relationships are the same as the straight ones.. Is it just a case that the only show that he wants us to watch together is the one with Flozmin in it?? Omg I don't know how to feel

[thequeenswife]

The prettiest couple to ever exist 😍. ___ → Comment a 🌹 if you like this. ___ → More edits? Turn on post notifications. . . . . . #ouat #onceuponatime #swanmills #swanqueen #morrilla #fandom #lgbtq #lovewins #lanaparrilla #jennifermorrison #reginamills #emmaswan #evilqueen #darkswan #tqwmanip #storybrooke #henrymills #snowing #rumbelle #rabbitbow #riverdale #southside #serpents #choni #falice #cherylblossom #tonitopaz #archieandrews #veronicalodge #bettycooper #jugheadjones #fpjones #madchenamick #alicecooper #supergirl #lenaluthor #karadanvers #supercorp #sanvers #lesbians #girlskissgirls #loveislove #equality #lesbian #gay #bisexual #pll #tw #greysanatomy #vampirediaries #theoriginals #love #fandom #multifandom #edits #editor

[eliehasmoved]

I feel like it’s obvious but Teen Wolf

❤❤❤  haaah. This took way longer than Flash because I yelled... a lot.

my favorite female character: This is??? Actually really hard?? Fuck. Uh. Okay. Lydia or Kira, probably. Or Malia! FUCK. You’d think that with so few female characters I’d have an easier time finding a favourite.

my favorite male character: THEO. It’s not even a question anymore. Second is Liam. Third is the former first place Stiles.

my favorite book/season/etc: A tie between season 5 and 6A. I liked things about 6B, but the overall plot can... go fuck a cactus, tbh.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show): Oh, man. For a long time it was Motel California. It is probably either Triggers or Memory Found now? I am in no way shape or form biased/obvious about my choices. Ahem.

my favorite cast member: Cody Christian this isn’t even a question anymore I am so far down the rabbit hole. Motherfucker dragged my ass back to TW from PLL after I boycotted. I also love LOVE Arden Cho. She’s adorable and such a sweetheart. And Sprayberry gets a mention when he’s not instagramming his fucking toilet.

my favorite ship: Thiam. Runners up are Stydia, my original otp, and Malira/Scallison.

a character I’d die defending: Post-Hell Theo Raeken.

a character I just can’t sympathize with: Peter? I don’t even know if you’re supposed to? Like. I have such a hard time with his existence. The only time I’ve ever liked him is literally right at the end of 6B in that fucking jacket. Also Jennifer. Please fuck several cacti in the after life and NEVER RETURN.

a character I grew to love: Y’know what? Theo’s going to count here. Because I hate season 5 Theo with the fire of a thousand suns, and I was super pissed about his existence and him being SUCH A FUCKBOY since I followed his ass over from sweet, little shit Mike Montgomery. But then his redemption arc happened, and here I fucking am. What a good trash boy murder nugget.

my anti otp: Ohhh boy. Okay. Time for a list. Fucking. Theo and Malia, Scott and Malia, Stiles and Malia JUST LET MALIA BE FUCKING GAY OH MY GOD. Peter and Lydia are also ick. I also greatly disliked Lydia and Parrish, oops. There used to be a fourth but it’s YOUR fault I’ve figured out how to tolerate it, so thanks.

Give me a fandom/show/movie and I’ll answer the above!

[shelbymadden14]

1-200

200: My crush’s name is: chanel 💚

199: I was born in: joplin mo

198: I am really: gay

197: My cellphone company is: verizon

196: My eye color is: hazel

195: My shoe size is: 9....in men’s

194: My ring size is: depends on the finger but 8 on my ring finger

193: My height is: 5.7

192: I am allergic to: cats & mildew

191: My 1st car was: 94 camaro

190: My 1st job was: at the hit zone

189: Last book you read: love her wild

188: My bed is: big af

187: My pet: my boom baby

186: My best friend: boom baby duh

185: My favorite shampoo is: pantene

184: Xbox or ps3: ps4

183: Piggy banks are: not in my vocabulary because i’m broke

182: In my pockets: boxers on sooo no pockets

181: On my calendar: lots of appointments & hopefully a date 😏

180: Marriage is: beautiful!

179: Spongebob can: get dis

178: My mom: is a beautiful soul

177: The last three songs I bought were? upset-lauren sanderson, billies album, jocelyn flores-XXX

176: Last YouTube video watched: jeffree star 😅

175: How many cousins do you have? too many to count

174: Do you have any siblings? yes 2

173: Are your parents divorced? nope

172: Are you taller than your mom? yes

171: Do you play an instrument? drums

170: What did you do yesterday? laundry & watched true blood

[ I Believe In ]

169: Love at first sight: yes

168: Luck: yes

167: Fate: yes

166: Yourself: depends on the day

165: Aliens: yes

164: Heaven: yes

163: Hell: yes

162: God: yes

161: Horoscopes: yes

160: Soul mates: duh

159: Ghosts: oh yeah

158: Gay Marriage: nope

157: War: ehh no

156: Orbs: yesh

155: Magic: living & breathing & the way the body works is magic so yes

[ This or That ]

154: Hugs or Kisses: kisses

153: Drunk or High: high

152: Phone or Online: phone

151: Red heads or Black haired: red heads i mean cmon

150: Blondes or Brunettes: recently changed to blondes & for good reason

149: Hot or cold: hot

148: Summer or winter: summer

147: Autumn or Spring: autumn

146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate

145: Night or Day: day

144: Oranges or Apples: apples

143: Curly or Straight hair: curly

142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdanks

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk chocolate baby

140: Mac or PC: mac

139: Flip flops or high heals: neither

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet & poor

137: Coke or Pepsi: pepsi

136: Hillary or Obama: obama

135: Burried or cremated: both?

134: Singing or Dancing: dancing

133: Coach or Chanel: chanel 😅😂😏💚

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: no

131: Small town or Big city: big city

130: Wal-Mart or Target: walmart

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: adam

128: Manicure or Pedicure: pedicure

127: East Coast or West Coast: east

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday

125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers

124: Disney or Six Flags: six flags

123: Yankees or Red Sox: cardinals

[ Here’s What I Think About ]

122: War: no

121: George Bush: who is he? jk.

120: Gay Marriage: i think it’s gay

119: The presidential election: also gay

118: Abortion: pro choice

117: MySpace: middle school

116: Reality TV: dumb

115: Parents: they are good folk

114: Back stabbers: they stab backs. hoes.

113: Ebay: i sold a bat on here once & it was so much work

112: Facebook: slowly becoming obsolete in my life

111: Work: necessary

110: My Neighbors: the one who called the cops on me? she bad

109: Gas Prices: low thank the lord. knock on wood.

108: Designer Clothes: who cares

107: College: also necessary

106: Sports: i only really care about softball

105: My family: the madden’s are wild man

104: The future: looks pretty good 😏

[ Last time I ]

103: Hugged someone: uhmmm like the end of october ;(

102: Last time you ate: at 7

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: uhm on ft with a bud the other day

100: Cried in front of someone: in my kitchen with my momma

99: Went to a movie theater: when chanel & i went to see hustlers

98: Took a vacation: junior year of hs

97: Swam in a pool: TOO long ago ;(

96: Changed a diaper: over a year ago

95: Got my nails done: never

94: Went to a wedding: probably like 2 years ago

93: Broke a bone: 6th grade

92: Got a peircing: 3 years ago

91: Broke the law: uh i was speeding ;(

90: Texted: just a minute ago

[ MISC ]

89: Who makes you laugh the most: that’s a toss up. i surround myself with laughter

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my boom boy

87: The last movie I saw: do i have to watch it to count it? coraline

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: seeing my lil baby

85: The thing im not looking forward to: chelsey moving out ;(

84: People call me: shelby, shelb, shlub, bub, sheldon

83: The most difficult thing to do is: not overthink

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: like 2 times 😅

81: My zodiac sign is: aquarius

80: The first person i talked to today was: my favorite girl, chanel.

79: First time you had a crush: uhmmm 6th grade? who knows.

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: i would say chanel. she’s like a human lie detector.

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: chanel & i do this shit all the time it’s freaky.

76: Right now I am talking to: like having a conversation with someone? everyone is asleep i believe

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: wait i’m not grown? crap.

74: I have/will get a job: i am a sub but i’d like to venture out a little

73: Tomorrow: i’m going to work out

72: Today: i’m about to crash

71: Next Summer: i’d like to be in a pool or in the sun a lot

70: Next Weekend: i couldn’t tell ya.

69: I have these pets: boomer & xeno

68: The worst sound in the world: my alarm

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: my dad

66: People that make you happy: my family, my baby & my friends

65: Last time I cried: uhhh couple days ago

64: My friends are: savannah, meg, aleigh, shelby, alex & lots more

63: My computer is: non existent

62: My School: nada at the moment

61: My Car: little dented 😂

60: I lose all respect for people who: beat on people mentally or physically

59: The movie I cried at was: oh shoot. i don’t do sad movies so i couldn’t tell you. but anytime an old person is sad i cry

58: Your hair color is: strawberry blonde

57: TV shows you watch: way too many to name but i’m on true blood right now

56: Favorite web site: pornhub

55: Your dream vacation: i want to go to italy

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: uhmmm i guess shoulder surgery? it wasn’t too awful

53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium rare

52: My room is: clean & gray

51: My favorite celebrity is: emma stone or jennifer lawrence 😏

50: Where would you like to be: anywhere with you 😏💚

49: Do you want children: yes!

48: Ever been in love: i am sooo yes

47: Who’s your best friend: i have three. savannah, meg & aleigh.

46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl friends

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: when boom cuddles me

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: hmmm my nanny wheeler 💕

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: yes! don’t die.

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: ope. no but i should

41: Have you pre-named your children: yes

40: Last person I got mad at: uhmmm i hardly get mad but probably a sibling

39: I would like to move to: springfield

38: I wish I was a professional: softball player

[ My Favorites ]

37: Candy: orbit gun

36: Vehicle: nissan xterra

35: President: i could give a shit less

34: State visited: florida

33: Cellphone provider: verizon at the moment

32: Athlete: does lauren chamberlain count even though she’s retired?

31: Actor:ryan reynolds

30: Actress: his wife 😏

29: Singer: billie duh

28: Band: oh boy. uhm. coldplay

27: Clothing store: nike outlet or ross 😂

26: Grocery store: one with groceries

25: TV show: all time favorite? probably PLL

24: Movie: matilda

23: Website: again, pornhub. jk i couldn’t tell you.

22: Animal: elephant

21: Theme park: haven’t been to many soooo idk

20: Holiday: christmas or halloween

19: Sport to watch: softball

18: Sport to play: softball

17: Magazine: i don’t read them

16: Book: favorite book would be love her wild

15: Day of the week: friday

14: Beach: cancun mexico

13: Concert attended: ive been to shitty ones so negative

12: Thing to cook: pasta

11: Food: pasta

10: Restaurant: jap steak

9: Radio station: spotify 😂

8: Yankee candle scent: linen 😂

7: Perfume: cologne/chrome azarro

6: Flower: lillies

5: Color: purple

4: Talk show host: jimmy fallon

3: Comedian: ellen

2: Dog breed: yorkie but boom is my favorite

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? yes

[yawnjockey]

So, since it is the end of the show and you are my favourte PLL blog i am interested in your opinion about some questions regarding the show: 1) Who are you going to be most dissapointed with as AD? 2) What do you think about the acting? IMO i think that 60% of the time the reactions of the girls a way exaggerated and sometimes the way they act is sooo cringe (i think that shay is the worst; troian is the best) and 3) At this point do you think we are gonna be unhappy with the finale?

Thank you! That’s so nice!

1. Mary Drake. I don’t love her character as much as other people do, and frankly, there was no need to bring her into the series to be A.D. when we’ve got loads of existing characters who could have just as compelling of a motive.

2. So, I honestly wouldn’t ever speak to the acting directly on this show, because... I just don’t want to be a bitch and call people out on their performances. 

But I absolutely agree with you that sometimes their reactions are over the top, and there are performances that I just find myself shaking my head at like “No,no. how was this the final cut.”

I think the thing that prevents me from pointing out those moments (at least as often as I feel them, I know sometimes a comment or two sneaks through) is that these actors can only be as good as the material and direction supplied to them. 

And when I say material, I don’t just mean the actual writing, but the info about their character and story. Like... some of these actors have gone from episode to episode not really knowing what was happening next with their character or their story. And that goes with some of the directors too. Not every director knew what was going to be the end result of a story arc. So everyone just had to act on hunches. “I think my character would be scared, I think my character already knows about this, I think my character wouldn’t suspect a thing.” 

All that being said, I am always pleased with the performances from Janel and Troian. But I think that’s probably because they’ve had some of the most understanding of the story. And I love Ian as an actor. And he shines in any scene where he’s either slightly making fun of his character, or he seems to clearly know what Ezra is thinking. 

Lucy also has been a great deal better this season, and I think that’s because she really had a clear understanding of who Aria has become. 

3. Will we be disappointed in the finale? 

I think it depends what we want from the finale. 

I believe this finale could be great for a non theorist, or someone who isn’t a majorly invested theorist. It could be great if you’re really in love with the characters and care about their happy endings. It could be great if you want answers but are prepared that they may not tie to the same story. 

I’m being optimistic for the rest of the audience. I think that *most* people will probably like this finale. I don’t expect to love it, myself. I think it’ll be okay, and by rational standards probably even a good finale. 

For me, the issue is that I’ve set myself up for disappointment. This is a teen soap on Freeform, and I still want it to have “Black Mirror” level twists and consequences. I have imagined endings that are so bizarre and inclusive that they’re kind of all I can settle on now. I have very lofty dreams for this show. But it’s not exclusively my fault... they did put all those red herrings out there for me to build on. 

If we are willing to let go and say “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar” then I think we’ll be fine. Because at this point they can’t suddenly have a follow up to all 3,000 different breadcrumb trails they left open.There was hope, but that time has passed. 

My expectations from the finale are, in no order: 

1. More freaking Mary Drake.

2. Ezria wedding will happen. Like, they’ll get to the wedding itself. Unclear if they get actually married, but the guests gather and the bride puts on her dress.

3. We’ll find out who A.D. is.

4. Hanna will leave town, probably to pursue fashion again. 

5. Squishy cuddly couple stuff.

6. Happy huggy friend stuff.

7. Flashbacks that will clear up nothing more than A.D.s identity or motive. 

8. about 15 other stories or questions that will be answered, but ultimately have little to do with the overall motive of why this game ever started, and why these girls. 

9. I’m also super worried that Ezra won’t be held accountable. That he’ll die or get killed before we can see him have a violent face off with the girls. Like I’m just really worried that we are going to be robbed of the moment where Ezra confesses to being a manipulative fuck. 

10. Some shit with Toby. (Like if he’s not A.D. or working with A or whatever, then there will be some story line for him and how he’s finally getting out of Rosewood.)

11. I don’t think Ali and Em keep that baby (or babies). Just a hunch, but I feel like those babies get adopted or go to the sperm donor. Who probably was trying to have a baby anyway. And then Emily gets to help someone start a family just like she wanted, and Ali ends up being like a surrogate. (Bonus points if it’s a gay couple.) And Emison are free to start their lives together, not as parents but as people just dating and trying to figure their lives out after yet another major trauma. 

12. Which frees up Ali to die. Which I only lowkey expect. She’s either A.D. or she really does die, making it full circle to her disappearance in the pilot. Bonus points if before dying she confesses that this is all her fault, and she’s the one who started all of this. That way Emison have their time together, Ali being her true self, and Ali gets her redemption through death. 

13. ultimately, whoever this is is doing it for some kind of heart tugging reason like they loved someone the girls killed or what have you, and this person isn’t “evil”, just fed up. 

I’m setting myself up for this. This is my low expectation. If it’s less than this, then I will hate this finale. If it’s better than this, then I’ll be pleasantly surprised.

#pll finale  #pll theory  # pll theories

[garden-gh0st]

1 to 30 hahaha

oh heck, i don’t know what I was expecting, alright here goes

if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to? They’d listen to the albums Woodland by The Paper Kites and Badlands by Halsey, they’d watch the film ‘I Origins’ (Cahill, 2014) and read Coraline by Neil Gaiman (Also this clexa ghost AU tbfh)

have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who? Can’t say I have yet, no

list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with. * The 1OO: Lexa* Power Rangers: Trini* Wynonna Earp: Nicole* Star Wars: Rey* PLL: Emily (basically all the sapphics)

do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better? I do like my name, I think it’s pretty unique, I enjoy just being able to use my first name and everyone knowing it’s me, which I feel like is something people with common names can’t do very often?

do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do? I don’t do Shit ya’ll, I don’t even known if I actually exist, i’m just here astral projecting most of the time.....

are you religious/spiritual? Nope

do you care about your ethnicity? Ummm, kinda? I’ve just been raise among italian culture so it’s not really anything I seek to learn about further ya know

what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime? The Paper Kites and Halsey

are you an artist? i think I can call myself one, yeah

do you have a creed? Isn’t this the same question as no 6?

describe your ideal day. Wake up late-ish, head into the city with a friend, take pictures and basically do whatever we decide to on the spot, stay out and fuck about till morning

dog person or cat person? I love them both equally because I am not a Monster

inside or outdoors? depends whether it’s a hot day or not

are you a musician? yep I play a total of 7 instruments yeet

five most influential books over your lifetime. Hugo, Coraline, Carrie, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl and The Hunger Games.

if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same? Yeah i think about this a lot actually, I think if i went to a different primary school I’d be very different

would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”? lmao unfortunately, yeah

what’s your patronus? a fox i’m pretty sure

which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle? slytherin

would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else? Hogwarts just bc there’s magic and stuff

do you love easily? I think more than I’d like to admit

list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order. Sleeping, Being Gay, Being Depressed, watching movies and Tumblr

how often would you want to see your family every year? At the moment I see them every day of my life, but probably 3 times a year at most

have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone? yeah a few times, but it always seems to turn out badly when i do

could you live as a hermit? sounds p rad to me

how would you describe your gender/sexuality?girls

do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”? i sometimes forget I even belong to a human body pls don’t make me think about this

on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin? .......5? but it depends what you’re doing tho

three songs that you connect with right now. featherstone and tenenbaum by The Paper Kites and Magnolia by Gang of Youths

pick one of your favorite quotes. ‘You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here’ or alternatively ‘Nothing exists except atoms and space; everything else is opinion’