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jadeglas · 1 year

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Updates Tuesday (fics)

Heya, again!

Good news? My creativity is coming back!

Bad news? Some of my creative bad habits came back with them (story frogging - I'm incapable of focusing on only one story until it's completion for I am a story frog and must hop about from wip to wip at my whim)

So ... Let's break this down by story:

Supernatural Romance

I can't recall if I shared this last week (and I am too lazy to search for the post at the moment), but I have what I call my pre outline finished. I know what the Antagonist does in each of the 5 books of the series and I know what the generalized (as in 1 or 2 sentences) plot of each of the five books is. I'm still figuring out who is in each book and this is going slow?

Ok, remember back when I said I love fan fiction? My character creation process relies in part on other people's characters that I adore. (Not the actors that played them, when applicable, but the characters. Seriously, most of the time, the actors aren't even real to me.) I'll pick a "soul claim" and then think, ok, what would that character change if they had this backstory instead? Or this fear? Or this opportunity? I have to do this bc otherwise all my characters are vague copies of myself and each other. I only use characters I feel I know really well, but I don't always use their canon versions.

So, the first book in my series is called"Desert Wolf" for now and I know who the FMC is for this one (Hermione from Harry Potter), but I haven't fully figured out who the MMC is? (Maybe Ranger from the Stephanie Plum books?). The third one is lovingly called "Murder Bot Trash Panda" and will feature a version of Bucky Barnes as the MMC, but I'm still figuring out who the FMC will be. I'm not really sure who anyone else is yet... Also, the outlines are not really fleshed out besides this. And also-also, I had to set the novella aside for now bc my original idea doesn't fit there anymore. So, .... Yeah, I find myself avoiding these stories a lot because they feel like trying to find your way through a new friend's house in the dark. Like you know you're welcome there, but you still feel like a guest and you don't know where anything is.

Sanguine

I've only posted the first post/chapter of this on my side blog last week, and I'm planning to write alternating POVs, for the moment. Honestly, the story began as self indulgent, self insert Pitch Black fanfic, but I feel like it's firmly in my Supernatural Romance universe now. It's still for fun and self indulgence, though, so I'm not too worried with where it will fit with the other stories.

Anyone interested in this one should be aware that it will be based on a few of my fantasies, it will be spicy, and it will not depict healthy relationships or decisions. (nothing i would consider abuse, but some situations definitely in what I consider the "grey area") I'll be sure to tag as I post.

Scrawling Your Name On My Skin

This is another fic that won't feature the healthiest of relationships, but the characters will work on that as the story goes. This is a Hobbit AU fanfic that starts as a one sided Nori/Dwalin fic but will probably end up as an ot3 Dis/Nori/Dwalin. I'm not planning on anything too spicy, or at least not for a long while.

In the first fic, You're The One, Nori is the equivalent of 15 years old or so, and Dwalin is somewhere around 20 years old. There will be strong YA vibes, especially at first, and it will feature well intentioned obsession that gets called out as BS when those older and wiser realize what's happening.

Supers

This is a brand new one, as in still just vibes that I've found over the past week or so. I have some prompts that mesh well together, but i also have an older "mostly vibes" story that I could integrate with the prompts? Maybe?

The short version is that this universe has soul matches, which is someone who will majorly affect your life. Most people have only one, some will have multiple. A soul match might end up being romantic and/or sexual, but it certainly doesn't have to be. There's plenty of soul matches who can't stand each other - but each is the person who will affect the course of the life of the other one the most. Sometimes soul matches aren't reciprocated, too.

Anyways, this world also has some folks who have super powers, because why not?

The story is something along the lines of a young aspiring hero comes to the Big City to find a job and join the Hero's League, but ends up being the soul match of the most powerful (but not necessarily most well known) villain of the city. Hijinks ensue.

I have absolutely nothing written on this yet, but it's fun to play with the ideas.

Old Hobbit Retelling & Old Pitch Black Cross over

That's not what they're called, but that's what I'm calling them here, for now. These are two old fanfics, each of them sizable. I wrote them under a different handle, one of them was only posted in AO3, but the other was posted on here and AO3.

I've been feeling the urge to write on these, too, but... I'm not sure I could simply pick up where I left off? Like, I feel like I'd need to go back and potentialy rewrite the stories, which wouldn't be bad, but the Hobbit Retelling I'm thinking of changing up so I can treat it like original fic (which, there's enough that's different that once I change the names of people and places it won't be a problem), but it's HUGE and ... I don't know if I should?

They're both familiar and comfortable, but I don't know if I should go back to them.

I might just have to hold that thought in my head for a while until I figure out what to do with it.

And... Yeah, that about sums it up. Lots of ideas, not much progress this week. But now you know who all has been living rent free in my head, right?

Another progress report next week, hopefully with more progress!

If you're interested in reading anything I've got posted so far, THIS is the link to the master post on my fics sideblog, which I will keep updated as I continue to post.

Questions and comments welcome. I'll post again tomorrow, but you take care of yourself until then, ok?

(also, sorry for the weird song placement, i do most posting on my phone and my gremlin makes sure to keep the process interesting for me)

#jadeglas #updates Tuesday #writblr #oc #but also #fanfic #they're on my side blog #glasscribbles #story frogging #it's a thing #Spotify

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mandosnewpants · 3 years

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I am not sure if I've seen much talk about this but it's something I can't stop thinking about. The fight scene between Mando and Moff Gideon with the darksaber and the beskar spear.

I had made this gif of it back when the episode aired and what I noticed was how much people loved it just not for the same reasons I loved it.

It's an extremely extra move of him to make. It's clumsy foot work. Then after he kicks it he goes up against the darksaber throwing the spear with his arm twisted backwards. It just has me confused as to why the show decided on this?

Leading up to this all the other choreography with the other characters was amazing. Ahsoka and Bobas fight scenes especially stand out to me as being lovely. Even Luke's entrance gave me shivers.

It had me wonder if it was purposeful. Maybe he hasn't quite gotten used to the spear yet?? Or maybe Mando just isn't a skilled fighter in the traditional sense. Which honestly has me questioning what type of training he did get from the death watch splinter?

I went back and really looked at his fight scenes over the last two seasons. (Oh boy! How many times have I watched this show now? Too many times to count at this point.) It really stands out in the episode where he meets Bo-Katan. The entire time they are on the imperial ship he's just stumbling behind them. They just look so flawless in comparison. The one move he does end up making is the slightly embarrassing suicide run down the hallway. In my opinion, not his finest moment.

He has a real do whatever will get the job done in that moment mentality. In that scene and throughout the two seasons. When he's trying to save his own ass, securing a bounty, or saving Grogu. And if all else fails he quite literally just throws himself at the problem. When in doubt use beskar! (That’s how the saying goes right?!) The amount of times he just uses himself as a shield. Or all the times he uses his head. Beskar or not that can't be good for the ol' noggin.

I don't want anyone thinking I'm trying to make Mando out as incompetent. He clearly knows what he's doing. It makes me giggle in joy because this is the renowned bounty hunter. Feared by so many. Just him stepping into a room makes the people he's crossed paths with before quake.

He does in fact get the job DONE.

The same man who continuously gets thrown around like a ragdoll for most of the show. He's scrappy and I love it.

In some sorta way it's relatable. He is just a dude trying to do his best with what he's got. He never goes out of his way to try and be the best or master the art of fighting. Similar mentality that he shows by avoiding main plots like the plague and trying side quest his way through life. With just enough street skills and stubborn persistence to survive. That seems enough for him.

I'm really hoping this is something that the show will have his character grow subtly underneath all the main plots that they've got for the future seasons.

Was this long and rambly? I apologize. I just couldn't stop thinking about it so I decided to annoy you all with my thoughts. Anyways just some of my own personal observations on the show. I am not in any kind of way trying to say this is fact and if some of you think differently I'm 100% chill with that (you're probably right). At the end of the day we're here on this tag because we all love The Mandalorian and that's what matters.

I was totally going to add more gifs to help solidify my points buuuuut I got lazy lol

#the mandalorian #star wars #din djarin #choreography #fighting #darksaber #beskar spear #just a bunch of my thoughts #definitely dont wanna start any arguments

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emluvsevermore · 3 years

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Him (40’s stucky)

{ rb is great, but do not repost somewhere else without credit to me. do not steal my work }

originally posted on Wattpad. you can find my whole collection of stucky one-shots there. username is @/thatenbywitch107

wc: 1,437

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I'll be back," Bucky said, ruffling Steve's hair. "Don't worry."

"Bucky, it's war. I have a right to worry."

The newly drafted soldier tried to fake a smile, but his boyfriend saw right through it. Luckily, he had the perfect thing to cheer him up.

Steve pulled a small metal object out of his pocket. He held it out to Bucky, who took it.

"What's this?" he said, inspecting it. It was a seemingly blank dog tag, save for three symbols pressed into the metal: S + B.

"Do you like it? I figured a picture of me would be too risky, and this way, you can make up any girls name that starts with S—,"

He was cut off by Bucky crushing him in a hug. Steve tried to hold the tears back but gave up when he heard Bucky sniffling. They held each other as they broke down. Bucky pressed his nose into Steve's hair, eyes squeezed shut. He hated crying, but it was an almost inevitable action. In a few minutes, he would be leaving the best part of his life behind to fend for himself in a city full of danger and disease. Meanwhile, he would be off fighting in a war that he didn't actually want to fight, with a slim chance of returning.

"Bucky... you need to go."

He shook his head profusely. "No..."

"Buck," Steve's voice cracked. "I'll be okay."

The brunette shook with emotion, but slowly pulled out of the embrace. He tucked the tag into his front pocket before turning back to Steve. He held his face in his hands. The couple shared a kiss mixed with salty tears.

Bucky pulled away only slightly, so that their lips still brushed when he spoke. "I love you, Stevie."

"I love you, too, Bucky."

///

He tucked behind a tree. Knowing his chances of survival were close to none, Bucky pulled out the dog tags that were tucked beneath his uniform. He ran his fingers over the extra tag on the chain, feeling the gentle bumps of the 'S + B'.

A bullet flew by, mere inches from Bucky's ear. He aimed his gun, but another soldier in his unit put a hand on his arm and shook his head.

"It's not worth it, Barnes. We're surrounded."

Hesitantly, Bucky lowered his gun to the ground. He held up his hands in surrender, as did the remaining soldiers of the 107th.

///

He was tossed into a dark, muddy cell with several of his comrades.

"We'll get out of here, men. Don't worry," Bucky said, trying his best to be a leader. He clutched the dog tags in his hand.

Yet months went by, and one by one, the men were dragged off. They never returned. Bucky spent his time reading and re-reading the words and numbers on his tags, spending extra time on the one from Steve.

This went on until one day, a German soldier approached the cell. He looked around until he landed on Bucky. He pointed. "You. Up."

///

When Bucky awoke, he was cold and in pain. He tried to sit up, but a strap over his chest and arms pinned him down.

Looking around him, he found that he was in a lab room of some sort. It was dark, so he couldn't make out much, but he seemed to be alone. That didn't last long.

A door clanged open, and three men walked in. Bucky didn't recognize any of them. They spoke amongst each other in German, before one walked up to the table that Bucky laid on. He was a rather short, middle-aged man, with round glasses.

"Trial number 310," he spoke in a thick accent, reading off of a clipboard. "James Buchanan Barnes, 26. Good history of health. Let's hope this one works."

He squinted when a bright lamp above the table was switched on. Before he could realize what was happening, a needle was pressed into his foremen. Within two minutes, he was passed out.

Apparently, "this one" did work, because Bucky remained on that table for another two weeks. At various points in the day, he was poked, prodded, and injected. They didn't always put him under for the tests. When those times came, Bucky forced himself to remember, despite the hunger and pain eating away at him. He ran through what he had memorized; his ID numbers, his full name, his station. Most importantly, he remembered Steve.

Steven Grant Rogers. 25, born and raised in Brooklyn. The best damn artist I've ever known. My boyfriend.

Steven Rogers. Brooklyn. Artist. Boyfriend.

Steve. Artist. Boyfriend.

Steve. Boyfriend.

Steve.

Steve?

///

He mumbled the codes. He had long since forgotten what they meant, but he knew they were important.

S. That one letter rang out in his mind, but he didn't know why.

The metal door swung open once again.

No. No, not again, he thought. One more round and I'll forget him completely. S- Steph? Sam?

But his confusion shifted when he saw the man that approached the table this time. He was different, but familiar.

That's not him, is it? No, it can't be—

"Bucky?"

Oh, shit, it's him.

"S- Steve? Steve."

The blond undid the straps and helped Bucky off the table. He took in his boyfriend, although he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing.

Steve spoke first. "I thought you were dead."

"I thought you were smaller."

The world was at war around them, but the reunited couple stood there, smiling like twitterpated idiots.

"Steve," Bucky cried as he collapsed into his boyfriend's impressive biceps. What the hell happened to the skinny kid he had left behind?

"I've got you, Buck. I'm here." Steve pressed a kiss to Bucky's forehead. "Can you walk?"

"Um—,"

Steve scooped him up anyways. "We need to go."

He ran out of the room with his exhausted boyfriend in his arms. Bucky rested his head against Steve's chest.

"I missed you, Stevie."

Steve glanced down, his expression warm and full of emotion. "I missed you, too, Bucky."

He kissed his forehead once more before continuing at full speed out of the building, and back into the battle.

///

*One week later*

Side by side, they walked into the base. There was applause was the other soldiers realized what was going on.

Agent Carter and Colonel Phillips approached them. As Steve filled them in, Bucky glanced around. Something about the cheering bothered Bucky. None of these men gave a damn about Steve before he got all big and strong. And then all of the sudden, he was a celebrity.

"Hey!" he yelled. "Let's hear it for Captain America!"

And there it was, even louder this time. This support was for Captain America, not Steve Rogers.

Bucky stepped forward so that he was right next to Steve. He took his hand, causing Steve to turn his attention back to him. They shared an affectionate smile.

///

Later that day, Steve and Bucky were alone in a private cabin. Steve had explained their relationship to Peggy and she had sorted it all out.

They sat on the couch in their favorite cuddling position, with one straddling the other, arms wrapped around each other. Except this time, their usual roles were swapped. For one, Bucky was now smaller than Steve, so it made more sense. Two, Bucky needed a little extra comfort. It had only been a week since he got out of the torturous room.

So, Bucky sat on Steve's lap with his face nestled in his neck. They were both exhausted, so Bucky simply placed slow, lazy kisses on Steve's soft skin. In return, Steve traced his fingers up and down Bucky's back.

"How are you feeling, doll?" Steve asked.

"Like I just came back from hell." They were quiet for a moment. "Steve?"

"Mhm?"

"I just want you to know, that you're the most important person in my life. I don't think I would've survived back there if I didn't have thoughts of you keeping me alive. You're a hero to the whole country now. I don't know exactly what this means for us, but I do know that... that even before, when you were skinny little Steve... you were my hero. I don't think I tell you often enough how much I appreciate you."

Steve hugged Bucky even tighter. "I won't let anything happen to you again, or to us. I'm with you till the end of the line."

#bucky barnes #bucky #sebastian stan #steve rogers #stucky #winters children #emerie’s unhealthy obsessions #emeriewritessometimes #steve x bucky #pre serum steve #steve and bucky #steven grant rogers #james buchanan barnes #marvel one shot #marvel fanfiction #stucky oneshot #stucky fanfic

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apexapricity · 2 years

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what do you think of your muse’s popular fandom ship? - G.///enpact SPILL THE TEA VEGA

I'm trying to think who Lumine is most shipped with. Childe? I guess? I love the ship just because they bounce off one another very well in that they're polar opposites in terms of methodology, but are a lot alike in the fact they both LOVE a good fight. I know that's probably a lot of my headcanon coming out and the TLDR is that they're an adventurer at heart which is why they put up with all the bullshit they do. They never back down from a fight they need to fight and secretly LOVE the adrenaline they get from it and that high of beating a worthy opponent. I know Lumine is kinda OVER all of it but, i think that helps her get through everything.

Zhonglumi is probably another popular one which I like and can see given they're both immortal beings and tired as fuck. For different reasons, of course, but there aren't a lot of immortal beings in Teyvat to bond with. Then there's XiaoLumi which I can also see with a lot of time and trust building between them. I think those are the biggest for her?? OH AND DAINLUMI. Which I adore. Hello I love Dainsleif and I love the fact he's like...One of the most honest people with her as far as we know. Whereas the other Archons are keeping shit a secret and not saying JACK TO HER. but yeah. IS THERE ANY BIG SHIPS INVOLVING LUMI AND OTHER WOMEN? I haven't see any if so which is big sad for me.

For Jean most people really on ship her with Lisa or Diluc which I'm down and fine with. They're both fairly reasonable since they're both the "childhood friend" trope and let's be honest. Jean doesn't get out much or do anything other than work. So if she's romancing anyone it'll probably be someone within her close vicinity which limits it down to the Knights of Favonious members, the Traveler, or people she'd interact with via rp.

Rest under cut bc its long rambles.

EULAAAAAAAAA

I don't have any icons for her yet because I'm lazy buut. Most I've seen shipped with her are either Amber, Yanfei, or Jean. I'm not really a huge fan of any of these since I almost feels like it would cheapen the friendship she's built with them? MAYBE I'm wrong but Eula is an outcast. She's been one most of her life and has been treated horribly. She gets why, she does, and she fights tooth and nail to right the wrongs her family did. She doesn't trust easily. She doesn't let people into her security blanket easily either. I feel like her own personal fears and inexperience with relationships in general would make her hard to ship with. Both since it would take a lot of time to like...Get her to that level of comfort and get here to understand you were trying to romance her. All she knows about it are probably old ass courting rules from when nobility actually mattered in Mondstadt and it hasn't in quite sometime. SOoOo yeah. I think Yanfei is the ship I can see most with her out of the 'popular' ones. I think the distance would probably kill that though as Eula has no intentions of ever leaving Mondstadt entirely even if that would make her life a lot easier.

Rosariaaaa

SO. Full disclosure not only do I not have icons for Rosaria yet but I have no idea who the fandom ships with her. Cue me going on an adventure in the tags trying to find out. So the only ones I could find quickly were here and barbara which...is wrong on so many levels since I think Barbara is canonically too young???? The other being with Eula. Her and Eula I can see since they're in similar circumstances and both really independent with how they operate. AkA they go off on missions to survey Mondstadt and other spy shit so they'd need partners who are okay with that and trust them. That being said isn't Rosaria kinda hinted at with having a thing towards Albedo? Or did I misread that?

#arskaerenetia #long post #(v: answered)#(ship bullshit)

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misterbitches · 3 years

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i had the misfortune of finally watching/getting through what happened in whatever episode where he gets raped so im gonna talk about it and tag it cos that's what a bitch fuckin feels like, got it? i do what i want aint no limit bad ass bitch aint never been timid. woopsie realized i got the nicknames confused oh well lmao

it's just logistically and plot wise like there's literal plot holes in this and i'm taking the production and set-up into account along with the actual content and development. im an ARTIST OKAY im jk i mean i am and i am pretentious and terrible but look. i didnt get that degree and im not in a house worth of debt for nothing ok. it's called writing on tumblr about my grievances of shows that dont matter and do not respect me as a fat black american woman either so it is my fault yet here i am.

anyway it was worse than i imagined and their talk after (with chengren) was even worse. that's what i mean about making the lines their own (the actors) bc teng teng sounded like a straight up motherfucking moron and im like

bECAUSE IT'S HIM EVEN THO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY U STUPID BITCH? but then it's like awwww and they also care about his wellbeing obviously??? but no? but it's like ok still teng teng said it even if it's stupid because he is a character and charles puts that forth. the people that fail the most to do that are xing si's family but that's not the actors fault because it's the literal material. you're like wait what but you just said...?

so i know they have no script editors i guess i think i find this season ACTUALLY fascinating because of just how egregious it is. i also went back and watched history: obsessed which i thought i liked because of their chemistry even though god the production....but i tried rewatching it and i was like wow this is worse than i remembered and the production issues were even worse because some of the music was SO LOUD AND BAD HOLY FUCK and their whole rship isssssss a sight to behold lmao

so man i guess it really is the power of anson/charles. which is good cos we love to see it...sort of but also a lot.

i honestly....because i've been able to pay attn more to the aftermath of the rape going back and putting it into more context and focusing (just barely lmao) is hm even worse. the inconsistencies are insane. it's not even just about the act but the writers have zero idea where they are going because they have no interest in exploring it. but the way in which it happens is like fascinating. yong jie literally thinks he owns xing si and it doesn't matter if he was kissing him or not or asked for a kiss on the lips (which dude what the fuck? i'll get to that) because he was plied with "extremely strong drinks" and his mom knew about it....which girl congrats you're an accomplice to the rape of your son by your other son?

but first of all...the kissing thing. in what fucking world would he (xing si) want that unless he thought he (yong jie) was someone else. i can't say their attraction is evident because we are being lead by this team to think so; they create this false sense of sensuality already so to me that signifies that they never intended for them to have a bond as brothers. it just feels cheap and fucking lazy (which it is.) even if he did, which doesn't make sense considering the context THEY CONSTRUCTED, it wouldn't matter because he was so fucking drunk which.... at that point nothing is fun, you feel sick, who wants sex like that? does he not have whiskey dick? did they have a condom? was it not painful for him considering? even if this was something to easily get over like was the dick good? it couldn't have been. and then, on top of that, there's the fact that you can change your mind or whatever but also that people do get aroused in these situations bc it is human nature (that's if they can literally get aroused which if the drinks were allegedly sooooo strong that nigga would be out so....again like even practically here it doesnt add up. have these people ever been drunk? if not, write what you know girl. cos sometimes it's like i think some of u r trying to be cool when u dont have 2 b lmao)

so yong jie coming on to him previously may be seen as like push-and-pull but here's the thing. right after it happens (the rape and it's rape so call it that you'll be okay) xing si gets up and goes home and is terrified and upset. he acts like what we have seen or even felt after a violation. he's scared, clutching his bag, it's like...you know...decently coming off as truly distressing (the actor isn't bad at all and i like that he's dark. i just massively hate this for him but hey at least he can show some chops.) like honestly man that fucking sucks and hurts to see. if we've been there we feel it. or part of it is realizing belatedly what happened. a lot of times that drop in your stomach is the worst.

but somehow for some reason, to which i cannot understand, the three of them begin to talk as if xing si pressured him? which maybe i missed something and that is possible—dont feel like going back to look—but that also made no sense. like what kind of false memory is this? why would he think he wasn't willing? and if he thought yong jie wasn't and that he pressured him how does he remember like...anything about the sex?!?!??!? besides waking up and being with him. like i guess he felt yong jie's MASSIVE DONG imprint but ??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!

god then the logic of the top/bottom thing is like i said i wasnt going to get into it but it's actually really funny. this whole thing was hilarious. honestly because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS. he could have totally raped him in that way but how did you get to this CONCLUSION FROM THAT??????? BY YOUR LOGIC THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS? IF HE IS THE BOTTOM AND PENETRATION IS THE ONLY FORM OF TRUE CONSUMMATION AND RAPE BECAUSE APPARENTLY, BASED ON ANATOMY, IF YOU HAVE A DICK IN UR BUTT UR A GIRL THEN HOW. DOES. THIS. MAKE. SENSE. AND THEN

AND THEN

this whole stupid conversation happens so we get to the conclusion that xing si violated him ok cool but that means that something is wrong. that is the CONCLUSION WE CAME TO A SECOND AGO?

also the other rapist is a villain and muren isn't in love with him so, once again, you're breaking the rules of your own world about acceptability which is why most of this is absolutely mind bogggglinG that iit's fuckign comical. like i actually when i can stomach it start laughing or my jaw is slack because it's so insulting as a viewer because there is like 0 logical followthrough.

because whatshisface barges in, kisses him in front of his friends without permission, then says whether you were willing or not which is hm. at that point how u gonna change that around but let's not bother with logic here. i am simply here to point out how this makes no sense according to the rules they set up even outside of the basic rule of life which is hm dont rape people maybe.

so now we know xing si was raped, they believe he was raped, he himself believes he was raped, and whatshisface literally says he doesn't care even if he was willing (he wasn't) so he admits to rape. i don't believe in the police and i hate them (BL industry needs the cops but dont get me down that road) but no one...thought to go?

because according to history 4 logic nothing matters so im sure if he went to the police you could handwave the homophobia since there's no actual context for anything besides their whimsy. but they dont want to do that because they aren't interested in an arc of growth; redemption isn't possible unless he is removed from the family but again no work on thinking this through or thinking about the victim's feelings. because gay sex? who fucking knows. supposedly progressive taiwanese writers of gay shit (like how supposedly progressive the world is. as in it is not and this behavior is the norm and bl perpetuates that) can't think of transformative justice?

and then they gave bad advice so we wont acknowledge that because teng teng doing anything wrong/stupid is frequent but hurts me and also that storyline is not real so i pretend they are not there outside of this post

so all of this is just straihgt up clownery now because it's fucking absurd like logically, practically, human-wise. the kissing thing is inconsequential but it was such a lazy cheap way out lmao cos they really wanted it to seem consensual but that's not how it works. on top of that their attraction makes no sense because whatshisface is just there. he is just there. he's nothing and no one so the sentiments are even more empty and on top of that he doesnt listen to a single request fucking obviously because the basis of their relationship is fucking rape so fucking listening and respecting his partner is not on his list of fucking priorities. he's literally so fucking annoying even without being a rapist it's like someone please beat his ass.

and then after all of that you want us to feel bad? with your horrible writing, poorly misplaced music, stupid costumes (those fucking SHOES THEY ARE HIDEOUS, AND MOST OF THIER CLOTHES DO NOT FIT IT'S LIKE WHY), questionable fucking editing. we're supposed to wnat them together? this sounds literally fucking crazy but bear with me lmao even with the rape they could at least have SOMETHING i mean like i cant believe im fucking saaying this. but like in addicted heroin which is fuckin tragic and awful at least there's a MODICUM of interest but honestly that show s a fucknig drag. idk they lookd good together? here we have 0. nothing. and it doesnt motivate. watching obsessed again i can see why i liked it in the beginning bc they have good chemistry but the acting and production adn like everything about it plus the rape-y vibes it's just too much. you need to pick one thing so if you're going to be a shit writer at least supplement it with something. this thing is nothing.

and even more nonsensical and what boggles my mind frankly out of all this is the mother's involvement and the father's final response. there are NO consequences? theyre all happy?

ok so lets go through this:

1. 2 boys grow up 2gether, one of the boys is fucking psycho, the mother knows but does nothing??????????????

2. one of the sons moves out so his father doesn't get a hint that's he's fucking gay. ok fine. he has 2 best friends, a job, an apt. he is fine.

3. aforementioned brother is obsessed with him for SOME REASON besides being crazy?

3.5 no one has done anything during him growing up to help him not be crazy?

4. mom says to husband who is their father also just in case we forget "im afraid he will lose his humanity"

4.5 again, do nothing. 0. just like oh man hes crazy. guess that's just our son ;)

4. who cares. plies him with alcohol purposefully to rape him. not even dubious (even though dubious is fucked and not okay or is just not. fucking real. these shows are contextless when they want to be or even movies or whatever so it's like largely not up to the task to understand complexity in human rships and then oversimplifies it constantly because that's what we do IRL. but people have fucking feelings you know and we realize when things don't feel good or right to us either very quickly after or having to process it. and once you're eyes are opened you may feel as something was fucking ripped away from you. for the modc couple this would be a very logical conclusion for the high schooler the thirty year old dated but again logic or feelings are up to their whimsy. no one cares bc everything can be counted as dubious so honestly it's a fucking stupid fucking topic like again why are we litigating what is and isnt consent when you could just like idk. read cues? consent? wait? not be a freak? like we all know what is proper human shit so even if we are watching this uncritically which u cant bc it's glaring and stupid it's just even more dumb) so it was honestly a rape plot like he literally planned it soooooooooo??!?!

5. aftermath of rape the victim is like literally fucking bereft and confused. and a rape victim. like that's what they are insinuating and what also he is to be clear.

6. boy tells him "idc if i raped u i luv u lmao"

7. mom ENCOURAGED THE BOY to get him drunk because her other son was too nice? she encouraged her adult son to rape her adult step-son (but her real son because she repeatedly says you are my son and the dad does too THEY GREW UP TOGETHER WHEN THE KID WAS IN AN IMPRESSIONABLE STATE) so THIS ALSO MAKES EVEN LESS MOTHERFUCKING SENSE

8. everyone finds out about his rape and he isnt mortified he's just concerned about himself being gay to his dad?????? except it's not really about his gayness bc now it's about his sudden love for his rapist brother? which? hm ok. understandable the dad is like wow i do not think i like this

9. dad knows all of it is fucked up, everyone does, knows the mother fucked up, knows he fucked up. doesnt like it because he is normal. so we know this is terrible? ok great so—

10. father says "i can't accept this...but i'm willing to give you my blessing" ok see here's the thing. when you write you have to think about the things you are putting on the page and what you have written previously. this quite literally made no sense how the fuck are you going to not accept them but give them your blessing? does this crew know what the fuck words are? i'm assuming they went to some sort of school to obtain jobs here bc there cannot be natural talent or experience. maybe most of them are rich. fuck i do not know but this also makes no sense. just the literal logic of it it's like fucking insane the whiplash.

10.5 apparently this father is also shitty. everyone here sucks and they are basically begging me to think xing si is a fucking idiot so i dont even want to look at him if he is an object he doesnt matter so now i want to kick him. thanks a lot you made the victim get absolutely fucking nothing

they KEEP PUSHING the brother thing it is so insane and it's liek GUYS WE GET IT WE UNDERSTAND THEYRE "RELATED" BUT NOT RELATED SO IT'S OK HE WAS "RAPED" BUT NOT RAPED but you're GOING BACK ON YOUR OWN RULES!!!!!!!!!! WE GET THAT THEY ARE BROTHERS!!! WE'RE OVER IT NOW BUT WHAT IS THIS WHEN WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED SOMETHING? I AM CONFUSION? they flip flop between my son, my brother my actual brother, and cannot fucking distinguish between love for your father and love for your romantic partner? so to me what i see is that the father wants to fuck the son. that's the conclusion i am garnering now considering nothing matters and his love for his "brother" is the same as his love for his dad lmao. they couldnt even do that in a way that made sense. like damn anybody can get anything. these ppl who are doing this have to be fucking rich and/or have connections.

also this guy sounds literally like a textbook abuser like he says constantly "im the best choice" is a rapist is awful holds capital (oh hees "saving" smh ur trapping her!!!!! RETIRE!!!!) also wears terrible shoes so i am like ur alllllllllLLLLL FUCKING CRAZY ur all literally crazy and then they are trying to set rules and boundaries in their fucking house like WHY ARE THEY LIVING TOGETHER EVEN? even tho oh my god they know he raped him and for some reason they are both allowing to live in the house but they dont want them to have sex??!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! i get that this is their house but this is like at this point these ppl are writing anything and now whatshisface is acting like a 2 yr old again and we are supposed to find this cute? like it makes 0 sense why do u fucking care u literally encouraged ur son to rape him so they cant have consensual sex under your nose now and have to wait four years? this is coming from the son who couldnt wait until someone was sober enough to realize hes fucking psychotic and should be killed also the fact that they act like being 20 means u have no fucking brain like this kid is in med school supposedly how do we know like hes a liar and an idiot so. also wait do they mean undergrad? how are you in med school at 20? is he a genius? girl i dont care lmao i guess i missed that but it's not like it matters so whatever

even if we ignore the stupidity of the literal acts, the grossness of the content, the absolute inability to write coherently or even remotely in a way where we would even want to see them together which is like....u set it up at the beginning so he punches "the love his life's best friend" also holy fuck im sorry remember when he punches muren because xing si got too drunk. so i'm guessing whatshisface is that good of a bartender that he makes super strong drinks and gets xing si drunk but his alcohol is magical therefore it doesn't make him sick. his alcohol is the type that gets you drunk but somehow doesnt get to your liver even though that's how we get drunk but dont ask guys he's only in med school and a bartender so i think he knows best (seriously have the main writers had a day of fun in their lives? have they ever been drunk? are they toddlers? drunk babies could probably do better tho.) i get that he was also jealous but if this kid is SOOOOOO genius (he understands social cues lmao he has the cpacity to project onto his victim so im like miss me with the not understanding shit. go to a fucking therapist like seriously did no one care abt this kid? his mother thinks he's like almost a goddamn murderer. how is she not dead? how are they all not dead? how do any of them know how to drive with this type of brain?) then he would understand that they are very clearly friends since he watched them part in a very platonic way and since he apparently knows what love is cos he thinks....he can....make someone fall in love with him bc he loves them? again, i wouldnt know hes 20 and taiwanese and im 29 and black from AMERICA so im WESTERN* so you know. different life experiences i guess XD

even if we do mental gymnastics to get it to a place where they "had sex" and he didnt rape him there's 0 ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ties to the literal story they wrote and the rules they set up. i'm going ot assume they dont know wtf theyre doing and i know for a fact we all care more about their dumb show than they do but it's actually startling how piss poor this is it's like idek what to compare it to. the continuity is awful awful awful they needed a script supervisor majorly and they are making bank and are going to make fucking bank fof this shit. and itll just continue like that until IRL material changes and that's facilitated by these very same groups they choose to profit off of and exploit by propelling it into the mainstream and litigating homosexuality through capitalism. and i'm being specific with homosexuality. i dont want a GL market like at all and i know why we wouldnt have it either and that has everything to do with the nature of BL, capitalism, coercion, and the fanbase being young girls and women. i don't think in this day and age we can safely say all the fans are straight; i'm sure a majority but many women or people on the gender spectrum and sexuality spectrum also consume it. frankly, it's possible the women who write it could be or something too. i dont rly believe any1 is str8 lmao but im just saying it's not out of the realm of possibility. but it isnt about that at all. that's why we wont see "good" female characters (like well written) often that's why we won't see trans women or kathoeys or fat people or black asians in it. a lot of it is is a choice we participate in whatever. but holy fuck dude u could at least respect the audience's fucking intelligence. i'm talking about everything i think that is encapsulated in the project but it's even more jarring and worse because it's so insanely inconsistent and poorly done. like how we jump from one conclusion to another is wild to me. even their first "night together" and he wakes up im like girl....u no ur ass felt it. this nigga broke into his house and was like "im gonna have u" like it's getting weird

just make xing si suffer offscreen not us the stupidity is staggering, mind blowing, hilarious.

how wong kar wai, a straight man from HK (or at least married to a woman), or barry jenkins, a striahgt black man, write/do stories well about people they wouldnt knw about their experiences directly is....well thinking like using their brains and like knowing all types of people? the man who co-wrote moonlight is a hOMOSEXUAL, leslie cheung was fucking gay or queer (and he committed suicide and that's important also RIP homie) both are hailed as queer cinema like WKW wanted to do something else and invested time into it, changed the way he played around with structure, moved away from his crime oriented stuff. he THOUGHT about it and this film is about their reality. it's a harsh film, idk how i feel about it (but my fav movies of his are the crime ones or the messy ones where it's clear he didnt write a script lmao fallen angels is one of my fav movies its' abt assassins kinda) but i know it means something. and he didnt like what HK had previously wasnt enough. it is not the only cinema that should be shown since it's such a stark reality and depressing but it is a real depiction so we can have all sorts of stuff. no this isnt WKW level or moonlight level but i know for a fact these people think they are doing something because artists always do i say this as one and someone who is equally as useless. you're making a statement.

i also hate the westerner component of peoples analyses. first of all dont do cultural relativism. we can critique and respect. but second of all how are we going to keep saying "dont put western ideals on this" when that is what is happening anyway because that's part and parcel for soft power and capitalism. how about taiwan's history with the KMT? what about the regimes young people fought about? aided by US imperialism which permeates through society and affects material conditions, views, democracy, identity and that goes into culture and media. hm? what about that? is that reality too fucking western for people? that we are doing the same thing again now? is that okay to talk about or is that only on your time?

then there's the argument that this is just entertainment. yea no shit but the thing is if we r gonna talk about marginalized groups and watch bc of marginalized groups and then be expected to identify then i dont see why i cant put this in context. even if it wasnt fucking serious we'd still judge it. but it's so pompous and again like i wouldnt say EYE think it's art but it is "art" in the literal sense and no self respecting artist would ever go "man this means nothing." of course im not sure if they do respect themselves so hey but u cant just go oh man it's entertainment when it literally rests on the fact that HOMOS are MARGINALIZED. it literally rests on the fact that WOMEN ARE OBJECTS. you either want progress or you dont. i dont understand being so demanding but not beign specific in the demands and not trying to use your brain. if you dont want to use your brain don't. but if you are looking , engaging, and keep making these arguments or telling ppl it doesnt matter whilst complaining about how much others care is hypocritical at best, willfully obtuse at worst. both bad. :)

(also all this + another thing; it is insulting to have this like wedding happen based off of this stupid relationship when people fought so hard and had to push it. now they can use the material conditions to their advantage but it's so ridiculous. also because there is difficulty still in getting married in taiwan i'm honestly like....the boldness of the writers...)

#history 4 #history 4: close to you #*dont call me western ever #a thot

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spicycreativity · 3 years

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A Place Where I Can Breathe - Ch 4

Chapter: 4/7 Additional Notes: See Ch 1 for more information. Read on AO3 under "WizardGlick." Any formatting/italics errors are holdovers from AO3 that I was too lazy to fix. Chapter Content Warnings: N/A; ask to tag Excerpt: Poor Roman. He made it so easy. Janus leaned in a little, not so much that he was intruding on Roman's personal space, and touched his knuckles to his chin. "Bore me? You're Creativity. What makes you think you could ever be boring?" He cocked his head and looked at Roman with expectation, inviting him to read between the lines. Who told Roman he was boring? Who made him feel like a burden?

The plan went into motion the following evening. Roman kept inconsistent hours and worked in inconsistent locations, and Janus had accordingly predicted long hours spent listening at the basement door for a chance at catching Roman alone. He was already working on a plan to lure Roman down, but it was difficult when his knowledge was barely surface-level. He didn't know in detail what Roman liked. But the wheels of fate turned and Roman bade his friends goodnight and announced that he would be staying up late to work on a project.

"That's lucky," Remus said when Janus informed him of the news.

Janus smiled at him. "Where reason fails, the Devil helps." He fussed with his gloves and straightened his capelet. "It's showtime."

"Beetlejuice is my thing," Remus said as Janus sank out.

He couldn't help the pang of loathing that pierced his heart at the sight of Roman scribbling away in a notebook. Remus had never been afforded the luxury of creative freedom, and it felt so obscene to stand here and watch Roman revel in it.

Willing his face into a more polite expression, Janus sat down by Roman and waited to be acknowledged.

Roman caught the motion out of the corner of his eye, but was too busy writing to spare the processing power it would take to identify his visitor. Whoever it was, they knew better than to interrupt him while he was preoccupied. He finished up his thought, jotted down one final note in the margin, and turned to address his guest. "H--Uh-- Deceit!" He jerked backward in surprise, slamming his notebook shut. "I wasn't expecting you." Despite his best efforts not to stare, his gaze kept falling on Janus' scales, his slit-pupiled snake eye. Roman tried not to shudder.

Janus cursed himself for not anticipating this. He should have sat on Roman's left side. Ah, well. Nothing to do for it now but apply extra charm. "Good evening, Roman," he purred, turning his head a little beyond what was comfortable so Roman could see more of his human side. "Did you know that you bite your lip when you concentrate? It's cute."

"Oh, um." Roman touched his fingertips to his lower lip, equal parts flattered and confused. "Thank you?" The overhead lights caught on Janus' cheekbone, giving him a soft glow. He gazed at Roman with gentle anticipation. Roman looked into the rich brown of his human eye. "I was just working on a story about, um, well… Oh, I won't bore you with the details."

Poor Roman. He made it so easy. Janus leaned in a little, not so much that he was intruding on Roman's personal space, and touched his knuckles to his chin. "Bore me? You're Creativity. What makes you think you could ever be boring?" He cocked his head and looked at Roman with expectation, inviting him to read between the lines. Who told Roman he was boring? Who made him feel like a burden?

"The, uh, the others," Roman stammered, not wanting to talk badly about his friends.

To his surprise, Janus flashed him an almost guilty smile before hiding it behind one gloved hand. "The others don't understand your creative vision, do they? I always wondered how you put up with them trying to shut you down."

"I don't know that they shut me down, exactly," Roman said, making one last effort to be charitable before sliding over the brink. He lowered his voice to a whisper, "But they never seem to want to listen. Logan is always poking holes in my plots and asking boring questions about the worldbuilding, and Patton always spaces out and asks me to repeat myself, like he can't even be bothered to listen to what I'm saying! And he always says the same thing whenever I ask for feedback. It's like, I don't need criticism, but I'd appreciate something a little more in-depth than 'oh, it's fine,' you know?" Janus nodded. Roman took a breath. "And Anxiety. I don't even want to think about what he'd say. He's always trying to shut me down before I even start: 'What if someone has done this before? What if nobody likes it? What if you're not good enough?'"

Janus raised his eyebrows and looked away. Some of that certainly sounded like Virgil, but he had a strong suspicion that most of Roman's insecurities originated from within himself. "I agree, he's not good for you."

"Oh!" Roman ran a hand through his hair and looked away. "I don't- I didn't mean.. "

"You said it yourself," Janus said, preemptive triumph blazing beautiful and cruel in his chest, "he sabotages your function." He pictured Roman alone in his room, hunched over a notebook and scribbling furiously with a pen that would not and could not write. Or better yet, Roman with a functioning pen staring paralyzed at the blank page before him, his own insecurities stilling his hand. "He's bad for you."

"Hold on a second," Roman said, putting up a hand to stop Janus. How did they get here? He'd just been venting, and now suddenly Virgil was to blame for all his problems? He nearly smacked his own forehead when it clicked just who he was talking to. "I didn't mean that!"

"But you said it," Janus said, feigning misunderstanding. "So you lied to me?"

"No, no, that was true."

"Then we're in agreement. Anxiety is bad for you."

Roman shook his head emphatically. "It was true. Anxiety was bad for me. He's changed."

Janus couldn't help himself; he rolled his eyes. "He's Anxiety! It's literally his job to shoot you down."

"I used to think that," Roman said, anger spilling into his cheeks and turning his face red. "But I know better now. Anxiety isn't like you and my brother; he has a place with us and he helps us make Thomas the best possible version of himself. And if you don't understand that, then I don't think I have anything more to say to you. And don't even think about coming anywhere near Anxiety ever again. I won't allow it."

Janus took in a shaky breath, finally letting his hatred, his frustration, his despair show on his face. And he struck, envenomating the weapon Roman had unwittingly handed him: "Very well, Roman. But let me leave you with this: Anxiety has nothing to do with your inability to perform. You're only half a function, and nothing you make will ever stand up as long as you remain afraid of your own potential. You're just as inadequate as you think you are, and it's nobody's fault but your own."

And, still shaking with rage, he sank out.

"Shit!" Janus slammed his open palm into the wall and pressed into it, forcing himself to take deep breaths.

There was no reply but the scratching of pen on paper. Janus whipped his head around and the anger drained from him at the sight of Remus scribbling away in a notebook. At least some good had come out of his little confrontation.

"Well, I'm not sure what you did to my brother," Remus said, not looking up, "but he's definitely distracted."

"I may…" Janus said delicately, rubbing the heel of his hand with his opposing thumb, "have failed to account for certain unexpected variables." He sat down next to Remus, careful not to jostle him, and grit his teeth.

"Mm?" Remus said, turning a page.

"Such as your brother being too thick-headed and stubborn to listen when someone's trying to manipulate him." Janus scoffed.

"Mm," said Remus, still writing.

Janus glanced over at him. Just as Roman had been doing earlier, Remus was chewing at his lower lip while he wrote, his brow creased. Janus tapped his fingertips against his own lips. He shouldn't have called Roman 'half a function,' and not just because it implied that Remus was as well. He knew from experience that lashing out only ever made things harder for himself. Now a whole new barrier towered before him and it was nobody's fault but his own. Janus laughed humorlessly, not missing the irony. He would blame Roman, though. It hurt less that way.

"I suppose it's too much to ask," Janus mused out loud, "that things could just be easy for once."

Remus stopped writing, ignoring the pang of regret, and scooted over so he could put his arm around Janus. It was undeniably painful to throw away an opportunity to make his voice heard, but Janus needed him now. He never admitted when he wanted comfort, so Remus had become adept at picking up on unvoiced desires over the years. "Yeah, probably."

"Please do stop writing; that won't make me feel guilty at all."

"I was pretty much done anyway," Remus said. "There's only so much debauchery and vomit you can fit into one story."

It was an obvious lie, but Janus let it go. He leaned into Remus' shoulder despite the way it knocked his hat askew and tried not to think about Virgil. "I don't even miss him," he said, the lie ringing hollow even in his own ears. "We just can't let him start working against us."

"We won't," Remus promised. "He'll come back. We can be his favorites again." After all, they had been friends before. Whatever Roman and the others had done to charm Virgil could be undone. He would remember his friends again. "And besides, we have Plan B for Butthole!"

Janus laughed despite himself and let Remus pull him in closer. "Maybe let's wait to implement that one."

Roman couldn't breathe properly; something was wrong with his lungs. Every inhale hitched in his throat and his mouth ached like he was about to cry.

But he dismissed that ridiculous thought with a firm shake of his head. He was the guardian prince, the hero! Heroes never wept for themselves.

He swallowed down the ache and got to his feet so he could find Virgil and let him know what had happened.

If a few wayward tears slipped down Roman's cheeks as he ascended the staircase, he wiped them away without giving them a second thought. The jaunt up the stairs did nothing to help his erratic breathing, and he was almost winded by the time he got to Virgil's door.

He had to knock for a long time before Virgil finally answered. He had been listening to his music as loud as he could tolerate it, and had only noticed Roman's knocking during a transition between songs.

Virgil's sarcastic greeting died on his lips at the sight of Roman panting in the doorway. His lower lip trembled and his eyes were suspiciously shiny, but his voice was steady as ever when he spoke. "Anxiety! I need to speak with you."

"Dude, are you okay?" Virgil asked, letting the walls of his brooding facade fall away in the face of his concern for his friend.

"Never better!" Roman declared. He was determined not to let Virgil see just how deep Janus' words had cut him. "May I come in?"

"Uh, sure, I guess." Virgil stepped aside, trying not to feel too self-conscious about his unmade bed.

Roman didn't comment on it, just followed Virgil's lead and sat down on the floor with his back against the foot of the bed. Despite the persistent ache in his chest, he fought for bravado. "I've just faced off against a fiendish foe!"

Virgil's heart dropped into his stomach. "Oh, yeah?"

"Indeed. I went toe-to-toe with a certain sneaky snake and scared him silly!"

"What did he say to you?" Virgil demanded. Everything slotted into place in an instant, Roman's shaky demeanor and false confidence.

Roman waved a hand, annoyed to notice it was shaking. "Nothing of import. You don't have to worry about me, Anxiety, I can handle myself in these matters."

Virgil supposed he should have seen this coming. "So let me guess. You're worried about me ."

"Of course I'm not worried about you!" Roman said, puffing out his chest. "You have the best protector in the world."

"You?"

"Me!"

"So why did you need to come see me?" Virgil asked. Whatever Janus had said to Roman obviously hadn't altered Roman's opinion of Virgil any.

"Exactly that," Roman said. "That you need not worry. I banished the snake back to the basement where he belongs! And I told him that I would not allow him to see you ever again."

Virgil couldn't stop the look of horror that crossed his face. He pressed his hand to his forehead, trying to calm his own breathing. "What?"

"I stood up to that fork-tongued fiend and told him to leave you alone forever," Roman said, a little less self-assured this time. He knew better than to expect a wondrous display of gratitude from Virgil, but he had been expecting some sort of thanks.

"That's great," Virgil said weakly. He knew he wasn't selling it, but was too overwhelmed to really care. "Thanks."

Roman nodded. "Well, I suppose l'll, ah. I'll just go, then." He hadn't realized how badly he'd wanted to stay until he was faced with the idea of leaving. But Virgil just nodded, his eyes empty, so Roman saw himself out.

Virgil immediately started to chew on his thumbnail, mind racing. He knew should have asked for more details from Roman but panic had a way of demanding attention, choking out rationality. He was thinking clearly now, though. He had failed. Whatever Janus had said had obviously hurt Roman badly, and Virgil hadn't been a good enough friend to try to fix it, and he hadn't been a good enough protector to prevent it. The only thing he could do now was try to stop it from happening again.

Virgil sighed and let his head fall back against the edge of his bed. He was absolutely certain that Janus would be out for blood now.

#spicywrites #spicywrites a place where i can breathe

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