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accidentallyadrift · 5 years

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Credit Cards and Finance Things: The Good, The Bad, and the Honest Truth

First off, if you’re dealing with an annoying mound of credit card debt you’re not alone. I used to swear up and down that I would never get a credit card...until I got to college. It was just one, with a manageable limit through my bank, but then it was two and then a Victoria’s Secret card and a Best Buy account, Amazon, American Airlines. It got out of hand quickly and now at 23 I’m still dealing with the repercussions of irresponsible decisions I made at 19. But, in dealing with all of the BS that comes along with credit cards and paying them off, my friends started asking me for advice with handling their own. Which seemed...Bizarre? Now initially I would have told you under no circumstances should you ever get a credit card ever! In reality this isn’t really a practical thing, and here are a few reasons why.

If you have any plans to travel, rent hotel rooms or cars you’ll need a credit card. Most if not almost all rental car companies will not let you use a debit card when you’re renting a car. And if they do they increase the already ridiculous hold on your account and unless you have a major amount of liquid cash and you can stand to not access $400-$600 on top of your rental fees for the duration of your trip it’s a necessity. I’m often surprised at how many people don’t know this, the best man in my best friend’s wedding found himself stranded in New York City without a way to get to Vermont because the rental company they had booked with didn’t list that you had to pay by credit card and you had to be over 25. (Also age isn’t won’t always stop you from renting but it will almost always increase your rental price so check to see if there’s a young renter’s fee!)

Certain hotels follow similar policies, and at minimum it’s always a good idea to have some way to cover your ass if you find yourself in a bind while away from home. Lost debit cards, emergencies, accidents, or traveling for work where you’ll be waiting to receive reimbursement from you employer are all things you could encounter where not having one is going to make for a giant pain in the ass.

Different types of credit help you build a strong credit profile and no credit history can be just as frustrating to deal with as bad credit history. Credit Cards fall under the revolving debt category and help show that you can faithfully pay down or pay off a balance to a lender. They’re also how most people establish their length of credit history, which is a pretty large factor in your overall credit profile. Now, you don’t want just revolving accounts, installment accounts (usually car loans are where the average 20 something will pick this up) are even stronger for your credit profile and honestly look better than accounts with a revolving balance. Services like Credit Karma offer great break downs about all of this and how each type affects your credit scores. I highly recommend getting in the habit of checking your credit score on a regular basis if you don’t already. It’s free and it’s one of the first ways you can spot if something that doesn’t seem right shows up on your credit if you don’t pay for any kind of credit monitoring service. Having no credit history makes things like trying to rent an apartment or get a vehicle loan difficult. My current roommates previous roommate had no credit history or rental history and because that was viewed as a risk factor for the rental company their security deposit jumped to over $600 from $250. As for a vehicle loan you’re more than likely going to need a co-signer or co-borrower which can be difficult if you don’t have someone that is willing to put their name and credit on the line to help you.

Long story short. You need to build credit history some how, credit cards are kind of the path of least resistance to do so but I will say if you don’t think that you have the self control to keep your “emergency” card in your wallet for actual emergencies. I would suggest holding off.

Your bank and local bankers are excellent resources for financial questions and concerns! You can always go in and chat with a banker about your financial goals or to seek some advice. Debt, budgeting and finances are tricky and no one is expecting you to understand it all so use the resources around you and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

The best thing I can recommend is to be SMART about what you choose, stay away from store cards with attractive incentives. “But what about the rewards?! And the freebies!? It has to worth it” Absolutely not, this is just a great way to build up unnecessary excess debt, and trust me the perks don’t take the sting out of the 29% interest rate once you realize how much you’re paying back for your retail therapy.

Airline cards have the worst annual fees and ridiculously high interest rates, if you do want something travel specific that you can build miles up on the only one I suggest is through American Airlines specifically their Fly Now Pay Later program. This can only be used to purchase flights and has 6 months interest free financing on all of your flight purchases, you still earn miles and it’s tied to your frequent flyer number. Over all, this is a card I plan on keeping because it allows me to grab flights at any time when the prices bottom out because we all know that great deal won’t usually stick around till your next pay day. Just make sure to pay it off within that 6 month window and you’re good!

Really you want to look for a card that gives you cash back on your purchases, that you can either redeem for other things or you can roll back into your monthly payments. Personally, I have a Discover It card and although the interest rate is a little on the high side (which differs for everyone depending on your credit profile) it is nice that I can take whatever cash back rewards I have and roll them into my payment.

If you’re like me and are dealing with multiple accounts and trying to tackle getting them all paid off. USE GOOGLE CALENDAR. I used to end up with late fees because I would space a payment and not realize it till the next morning when that stupid late fee had already been posted to my account. I wanted desperately to be an organized planner girl that could keep everything written down but it just doesn’t work for me, and I have to remember to write them all in every month and to be honest ain’t nobody got time for that. My google cal took me a bit to set up but the nice thing is, once it’s up you can set it to just auto repeat every single month until the end of time if you would like. Every single one of my accounts is listed on its due date, they start out green and when I’ve made the payment I go in and switch them to red for that month. If an account is paid off, I switch it to orange and just tell it to change all the following events to match. Easy, simple, and no late fees. And since I get paid bi-weekly it really helps with pay mapping and knowing what I need to set aside to make sure everything is covered. 12/10 for the very visual planning type! Also, I know most banks have a Bill payer feature, I’ve just found that this is what works best for me. And if you’re like me and paying off multiple accounts tackle them one at a time! Make minimums on all of them except one, when that’s paid off move on to the next one. Everything is still getting paid but you’ll actually start to see productive results sooner. (This one came straight from my banker and let me tell ya it works!) Start with the smallest one and work your way up to the highest ones.

Going Back to Pay Mapping, this is a great tool to tackle paying down debt and keeping your monthly budget on track. This allows you to sit down and see when you have money coming in and when money needs to in turn go back out to cover your bills and where you’ll need a little extra or where you’ll have some cash leftover. I usually pay map for a month out from wherever I’m doing my budget. Starting with my current account balance, adding in my upcoming paycheck, deducting all of the payments that will be made in that pay period until my next check and then adding that next check in and repeating the cycle. So I can see if one week I’m going to come up a little short then I need to keep some of my over flow cash from a previous week in order to make sure I don’t over draft my account. It seems simple, and you would think that it’s just basic knowledge...but again I’ve heard so many times “If I would have realized that I wouldn’t of done _____ last week!” The best thing you can do for your financial mind set is to alway be thinking forward, don’t let that extra 20 bucks burn a hole in your pocket if you haven’t checked to see if it really is extra. Better yet, just move it to your savings account (which you should also be dumping at least $10 in to whenever you can...I’m still trying to get better about this one myself).

And if you’re on top of it and pay your card off every month! Pay it off before the due date and then a revolving balance will never hit your credit report. Having accounts that are consistently paid off and don’t carry a revolving balance is the ideal way you want to deal with having credit cards. It looks great on your credit report that you pay faithfully, your usage stays low, and your still establishing length of credit history.

Wow okay this got much longer than I expected it to be but I feel like these are like the financial FAQs I usually get so now maybe I can just send it on as a master post the next time someone asks? But if any of this is unclear or you have other questions I’ll do my best to answer them! Again, by no means am I an expert this is simply a collection of things I’ve figured out through trial and lots of error. So if anything learn from my mistakes lol and if there’s anything you would like to add feel free! I’m always looking to learn more!

Also, remember it’s not forever. It may be stressful and not very fun right now but if you keep working at it and you learn from it and you make sure you don’t end up there again. I know it can be incredibly overwhelming and it sucks when you have to make the choice to stay in and be responsible when all you want to do is go out and have fun. But, it’ll feel so much nicer when you know you’re doing it all cash and you don’t have to worry about paying for your fun at the end of the month. You got this! Now go color code your calendar and get that shit paid off!

#millenials #adulting #credit cards #debt #debt stress #student problems #finances #budgeting

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amaintainedrisk · 7 years

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ugh today was a pain in the ass. I'm back to being frustrated and stressed out by my family and my doctors. first of all, my mother doesn't just mean to me sometimes. She is also just the most immature person on the planet. She wants all the attention on her. to the point where it's just embarrassing and pathetic. Like I said, a few days ago I cut my hair. i've always cut my own hair. Last October I made a drastic change and cut like 6 inches of my hair off. A few days after, I went to the doctor and all the nursing staff and the doctor noticed. And they gave me compliments. They told me it looked really nice and all that, and it made me really happy because I never get complements like that. ever. A few weeks later, I have to go back again. When they let me to the back room I heard the nurse say "oh wow you cut your hair now too?" And I was like…wtf? we covered this last week. obviously because I'm blind, I couldn't see that my mother has now turned around and packed all her hair off into a pixie cut. Really short. and only the nurse noticed. Nobody else said anything to her. as we were driving home she kept complaining and saying things like "only one person said something about my hair. Everyone else said something about yours but no one said anything to me. Why didn't they say something to me like they did to you?" and that's when I realized oh my God, she cut her hair off because she was jealous and she wanted the attention back on her. she's 50 years old, how immature and jealous can you be? I never said anything to her about it because I knew she would deny it so I just let it go. because honestly, it really isn't that big of a deal. It's not worth the fight. Cut two today. I showed you how I cut my hair off a few days ago. My mother saw the day I did it. My hospice nurse was here today and when I came downstairs, I heard her remark to my mother about how nice her hair locks and she asked my mother what she did with it. And my mother said she went to a hair salon and had it curled and dyed. And I'm standing there frozen because I realize she just did it again. I couldn't possibly be a coincidence this time. She saw that I cut my hair and she didn't want me to get attention for it, she wanted it for herself. So she went to a fucking hair salon so she could get the compliments instead of me. I just can't believe how immature she is. How messed up you have to be to be jealous of your own daughter for getting a complement about a haircut? it's just… Pathetic. And it just bothers me that she has to try and take compliments away for me when she knows I never get any answer nobody is ever nice to me. that just really bugs me that she can't even let her daughter have the attention on her for a while. I just froze. I couldn't believe she did that. Twice. She's 50 years old. Grow the fuck up, not everything is about you. I do not know why she does this and I don't know why it bothers me so much. I think it's just because nobody is ever nice to me or give me complements, and the one time they do, she has to get jealous and take that away. I'm never happy anymore so whatever happiness I get, it just bothers me that she's so selfish and immature that she has to take it away and keep it for herself. it is always me me me with her. It's exhausting. I didn't say anything to her because I knew she would deny it and it would just start a fight and like I said, it's not worth fighting over. It's just something that really bothers me and hurts my feelings. and I think the other reason I'm so upset today over that is because she went to a hair salon and paid to get it done. Not even two weeks ago, she was yelling at me and telling me that if she didn't have to buy me food, she could buy herself pants. If I didn't have to eat every day, she could have more than a few pairs of pants. you know how else you can save money? Don't go to the fucking hair salon. Or stop buying packs of cigarettes every day. How about that? Why is it I have to stop eating? It's fucking insane. especially since I only eat once a day if I'm lucky. Not two weeks ago she was yelling at me for eating and wasting money. Where does that money for the hair salon come from then? I wanted so badly to say something but I didn't. it wouldn't of done any good. you can't reason with ignorance or crazy. and speaking of money, my Social Security debit card? I have been asking for that for over a month so I could put it in my wallet. I still haven't gotten it yet. There's always an excuse as to why she hasn't given it to me. It's my money. But when I say that, she starts yelling at me and saying things like "what, you think I'm stealing from you? You think I'm paying the bills wrong? I'm paying the bills, Your bills, with that money. You don't understand how money and bills work. So why do you want that card?" And I tell her I want that fucking car because it's my fucking money and I just want the fucking card. But she won't give it to me. She says I don't need it and so does my grandmother. My grandmother says things like "well you can't drive to the ATM so why do you need that card? Your mother needs it. When you start driving your self to the bank you can have that card." No fucking joke. My grandmother told me, told her blind granddaughter, she could have her bankcard if she overcame blindness or just plain drove to the bank blind. So fucking ignorant and disgusting. And it's coming from a woman who does nothing but pay her own daughters bills and take care of her kids. My aunt Dawn has six kids on welfare, doesn't have her own car and needs to use mine to get to work and drive her kids around, And the job Dawn has now is the first job she's had in 12 years. Not to mention the fact that my grandmother watches her kids all day and has done that since she started having kids. My aunt is 42 years old with six kids on welfare and section 8, can't pay her own bills, and needs my car in order to get to work but you're right grandmother, I'm the immature one. I'm the one that doesn't know what life is like or what life is about. I am the one that's naïve and doesn't know how bills work. Give me a break you fucking ignorant cunt. I am so sick of these people. that's my fucking money and I do more for myself and take better care of myself than anyone in this family but yet they tell me I'm immature because I can't drive to the bank. My grandmother has also told me that if I wanted to fill out forms and applications for apartments, I have to do it myself. why? Because if I want to act like a grown-up I have to be grown-up and grownups fill out their own forms. she keeps telling the fact that I am blind to whether or not I'm not sure and I'm sick of it. Me being blind does not mean I'm immature. I can't drive to the store because I can't see and it's not legally allowed. Same with the bank. Same with forms and filling them out. I'm blind, not immature. FUCK YOU. I have developed an ulcer because of the stress they put on me and the abuse they give me. I've had minor strokes because of it. And now I might have to have part of my stomach removed and that's why I am so frustrated right now. they have been doing this since I was born but now that I know I'm suffering physically because of the stress they put me under, everything they do is hurting even more. That's why I am being so vulgar and insulting about it and calling them ignorant cunts. I know how bad it looks for me to call them that. But they are hurting me so badly. I am so alone. and trapped. And to top it all off, I need to switch pharmacies and for some reason my mother is mad about it. I don't know why. It has nothing to do with her. When I asked why she said it was because she was trying to work with my pharmacy to get all my meds to come do at the same time. And I'm like "… You can do that at any pharmacy. I need another pharmacy because these pills from this pharmacy don't work." And for some reason that pisses her off. I don't know. Fucking hell. i've been trying to get in touch with my social worker but she keeps putting me off. And I know she's busy but I feel so alone and I need away out. and I can only do that through her. I asked to find a support group I could go to, I figured I could meet some people and maybe stay with them? Or they could help me fill out forms or something. I don't know. I looked on my own but I couldn't find anything online. my social worker said she would get back to me next week and that was three weeks ago. I don't want to bug her but I'm desperate here. No matter how hard I scream, it's like nobody hears me. when my hospice nurse came today, she brought the official hospice pastor. Her name is Pat. I met her a few times and honestly I don't like her. she knows I'm an atheist but she keeps praying over me and that feels really violating. And I've told her that. It makes me really uncomfortable as an atheist for her to pray over me like that and she won't stop and it's infuriating. and I know it's because she looks down on me for being an atheist and I know it's also because she's trying to change that and I don't need to change. My thoughts are fine as they are, there's nothing wrong with me not believing in her God. I don't care if she believes in him, I just get sick of her pushing it on me. Monsie believes in God but she has never ever ever tried to change me or push her beliefs on me. all Monsie has done is mention God in passing, in reference to her and what she's going through. Which is perfectly fine. That does not bother me in the slightest. That's because those are her beliefs and her beliefs make her who she is and I wouldn't change who she is for the world. because she's perfect. She doesn't care if I'm an atheist the same way I don't care if she's Christian. we let each other believe what we need to believe, because that's what friends do. We love each other regardless of what our different belief systems are. that's why I love Monsie so much. There isn't a judgemental bone in her body. I respect her and her beliefs and I will do that until the day I die. But this Pat woman is the complete opposite. she keeps judging me and making all these passive aggressive comments like "I know you don't feel well a lot of the times, but I'd like to hear from you more often. Just send a text or something…" and "I know there's never really a convenient time to come over but I would like to. But every time I text you were either busy or sick or something…" and she's trying to play the guilt trip card. Because I don't want to be around her and because I don't invite her over or talk to her or open up to her and that's her job. Well the reason I don't like talking to her is because she judges me. And because she violates my beliefs and makes me feel bad. If she respected my beliefs like Monsie does, It would be a different story. But she doesn't and she keeps doing things that make me very very uncomfortable. When she came over today, it was unannounced. She kind of piggybacked my hospice nurses visit because she knew I would be up then. So she cornered me, basically. And then she wonders why I don't Open up to her. That's why. She makes me feel trapped and cornered and she just makes me feel bad about myself simply because I believe the wrong thing. Wrong according to her. Just. so frustrating. and I'm not even going to get into this, but once again certain people in my family are throwing sc and resa in my face to hurt me again. Just telling me that they aren't my friends anymore because I was never friends with them to begin with. They did not love me as much as I loved them because if they did, it wouldn't have been so easy to let me go. They would've tried harder to stay in contact with me like monsie did. The fact that they didn't means I was on loved. And the reason I didn't know about the twins or her wedding is because she didn't want me there and she didn't care because I was just not worth being friends with. I get this little speech at least once a month and it just really breaks my heart into 1 million pieces. Because I already have that thought in my head about how maybe I was never logged in the first place or maybe I just wasn't worth being friends with and I've been alone this whole time and didn't even realize it. And then my family comes in and magnifies that worry and pain times 10. I really want to get back on Facebook but I'm terrified if I do, no one is going to be there and I'm only going to sign on to realize I was never loved or cared for and they are doing better without me. that they don't need me and I'm just so replaceable to them. That thought terrifies me and it's one of the reasons I'm not back on Facebook yet. I'm afraid of what I will find and my heart is already broken because of my family, I can't take much more. And I'm trying to use the keyboard more before Facebook because Siri is so frustrating. She makes mistakes twice a sentence and it's so upsetting to keep fixing it. By the way, halfway through this note I stopped paying attention so if you see a sentence that makes no sense, I apologize. I quit trying to keep up with Siri because it was making me want to cry. I need to figure this keyboard out before I get back to Facebook. But the reason I'm not in a hurry it's because I'm afraid of what I will find when I get there. My stomach is killing me. I am so stressed out and I just feel so alone and worthless and I feel like I've always been that way, I just didn't realize it. I'm dying and my family wants to make sure I die as alone and unloved as possible. do you have any idea what that does to a person? I don't even know why I'm bothering. This life is not worth it. The pain is unbearable mentally and physically. I miss sc. Do they miss me? Was I worth being friends with? Or is my family right? everything hurts from the moment I wake up to the time I go to sleep. and all this pain is manifesting itself physically in the form of an ulcer and mini strokes. What am I supposed to do? I can't run away and even if I could, I have no one to run to. I'm trapped, I'm alone, and I'm screaming for help. And I'm screaming for love. Why is it that nobody ever hears me? please, I just want someone to hear me.

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