#and negative thinking and anxiety

[wolfspaw]

[somegrumpynerd]

Actually it turns out I had more thoughts about that post that I forgot about lol

Would Nightmare actually give up his boys? Yes and no

If it was just a black and white situation of they're miserable, they don't wanna be here, they have somewhere better to be, then yes. He would leave them out to wherever they needed to be despite his own feelings and very quickly realise afterwards just how much he'd gotten used to the noise and company. I think he would get a little clingy with Dream about it, which I'm sure Dream would find very weird after everything but not unwelcome, he did miss his brother after all.

(If he couldn't attach himself to Dream's side for whatever reason, I think he might just sit in his castle and go insane. Or maybe he'd just spend all day at Ccino's trying really hard to project that he just likes the atmosphere and isn't lonely as hell)

But the thing is, most of them don't have somewhere better to be. Horror has his au, and Nightmare would keep up the supply of food even if Horror said he wanted to quit at this point, so he would understandably let him return home. Killer, Dust and Cross effectively don't have aus anymore though, and they tend to get into self-destructive habits when they're left to their own devices. (Obviously bringing Color and Epic into the mix to make sure Killer and Cross are taken care of eases matters, but Dust doesn't really have any friends outside their group he could go stay with - that Nightmare knows about at least).

The flipside of this is that his boys may not necessarily want to be given up. I think if Nightmare got really in his head about this he could easily end up convinced this is the right thing to do without ever asking them if it's what they want, with potentially terrible results. He's established such a pattern of always returning to find Killer when they get seperated, that if he never showed up Killer might just keep sitting there and waiting for him greyfriar's bobby style, refusing to leave because he's certain his boss is coming back.

[1-800-crscnt]

a hc i have is where Coruscant is still not a very good posting, but the Guardsmen try to make it as enjoyable as possible for the visiting troopers. they scout out good party/relaxation/dining spots for clones, they personally get supplies that troopers normally would never have (usually small things like nail polish, high quality shaving cream, a music box, etc.), and they just like to improve life on the planet in general for themselves and by extension the other troopers, which can add another reason for Fox and his commanders to be so busy & secretive so often (especially if you want to make the ways they make this possible very angsty and/or complicated) and another chance to make all the clones more connected despite their differing views/experiences.

[dreamwinged]

anyway HIIIII!!! i'm sorry for going inactive out of nowhere! i missed u guys, and i hope every1 has been doing well :> to be honest, i've realized this site makes me really anxious so i likely won't be coming back or being active like i used to be. i'll still keep my blog up, and might pop back in every now and then to say hi, but i probably won't post consistently or anything like that :<< however, i srsly love and value all the connections and friends ive made via this blog so much, all of u are so lovely, and ill miss u lots 💘 i am (embarrassingly) active on twitter, so if anyone has it, dm me and id love to be your mutual there! :D fair warning i talk a lot about my selfship, but i find that for whatever reason im just more comfortable there :} ((OH AND DISCORD. IF ANYONE WANTS TO EXCHANGE DISCS MSG ME!))

sooo yeah!! ueueue i dont know how to end this... wishing peace and love and f/o kisses for all my moots

[beebberbb]

negative attention vs positive attention feels the same to looey, but not to shrimpo

[essektheylyss]

Okay but the confirmation that the Granddaughter is supposed to have reached a state of tranquility and detachment but hasn't, and is instead aggressively and desperately shoving down all of their emotions without being able to excise them has sent them to the top of my faves list immediately.

I'm also really looking forward to seeing if the Fold wizard on deck survives whatever just happened, because I would love to find out if all Granddaughters have actually excised their emotions, or if in reality, they're supposed to be practicing tranquility but don't actually have a grasp on that until later, after their Realization. I would not be surprised to learn, especially after Artifice's whisper last episode, that this is something of an initiatory secret that isn't meant to be fully understood until later, once Realization has been had.

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

Moment pre-aa where Thomas almost gets seriously injured or killed but Virgil pulls him out of the way just in time and starts yelling at him like "dude are you stupid?! You almost died there-" but then he turns to look at Thomas and jerks back at the soft smile he's looking back at him with

[deeplyridiculouslyinlove]

One thing I’m struggling with in anticipation of 03x08 is that for me Wheel of Time isn’t just a show I really like, but it brought me to the books and the wider WoT fandom and a community of folks who are lovingly critical of the books and adore the show and love the older characters and the Aes Sedai and the queerness. I’m even rereading the books, which I never thought I’d do because elements of them infuriate me, but it’s so much more fun now that I know there are other people annoyed by the same stuff I am who have found humor in those things or ways to move past them. (Shoutout to some amazing WoT podcasts!)

But I’m really nervous about what is going to happen next week in terms of Moiraine and Siuan. I’m okay as long as neither of them permanently dies (other characters assuming a death or a certain book spoiler plot would be okay, but I’m scared of actually seeing one/both of them die). I think I’m preemptively grieving the fandom experience I’ve come to really love as much as I am the characters and the show (because for me the show will never be the same if they kill one of them), and that’s super stressful. I want to finish my reread and keep loving this show and world because it is a real bright spot during a time that the real world is overwhelming and messy, but I’m scared WoT will make me sad now.

Hopefully I’m being wildly over-dramatic for no reason. I’m just scared by the fact I know something huge is coming next week 😓

[salt-baby]

gentle reminder that human health does not fit into a binary system and nothing is ever really fully a mental or physical disability

stress can have significant effects on physical health, more than you'd think

and the basis of any mental disability is still physical, that's why it's possible to develop medications for it

[brandycranby]

ough the spiral

[thatnununguy]

more sapphics before bedtime

[telesodalite]

Been thinking about idw1's outliers lately, and how sort of wild the whole concept is from a worldbuilding standpoint, and it struck me that most confirmed outlier abilities tend to be really useful, or flashy, or powerfully dangerous, and few to none tend to be like, really boring, or totally impractical, or even entirely useless? Which, doesn't really make sense when considering the fact that outlier abilities are seemingly random.

Surely not everyone who's born an outlier gets something useful?

And I don't mean like, "good" useful, but any sort of useful, even if that means you can kill people with your voice, or give a power boost by exploding yourself, those are still "useful".

But surely there had to be some with abilities that were totally impractical, or nonbeneficial, or at the very least just insignificant or purely aesthetic and pointless?

[gremnda]

what a lovely day ^-^

[arodykeism]

but i'm not supposed to scratch

[rabbitprose]

fighting for my life all the time trying not to make my muses exactly like us in every way (vent in tags oopsies)

[dors-ee]

The more I think about even just the bits of lyrics (the new verse)of the extended version... the less I like it tbh. (I think this is the last time I'll speak about this. But I do feel the urge to get this out. It's LONG, be warned.)

Beyond the surface level, it doesn't make much sense thematically with timebomb I think. Some of it does, on the surface level mostly : siren's call, being attracted to what will cause you to sink/drown... But this is just a repeat of what was established. why add it? just more content to consume?

sea theme for them out of nowhere? (that doesn't fit either mme or timebomb as was established in the show).

Some of it doesn't and goes as far, I think, as contradict some of what was established with timebomb. (religious like devotion, sanctify glorify etc.)

Like it's not just that it doesn't fit with MME, (I have read comments of pple that listened to the whole thing. a lot of people agree with this thought I had/have about it not fitting, and think it really does not fit MME) but even with timebomb in general. It doesn't fit that well. It contradicts what exists a little even I think. And it's i think just more content to consume for the sake of content to consume.

For me this song, since it was announced, I have thought this since it was announced, is a symptom of what's going on with the entertainment industry in general : content vs art, going for money, also creators not doing right by their own creations and not respecting the themes/dynamics/etc. they themseleves established, etc.

I thought it might just not fit -with the rest of MME- that maybe it would be good but just not fit... I had hopes about that let's say. But in the end...

It's... just content to consume, for the sake of it. (Which in itself, content to consume is not a bad thing... but we're getting only that these days. Even what isn't just content to be consumed is pushed to be. Ie : art, for example.). And just content to consume for the sake of it means an increased probability of a lack of respect of the themes, what is established, etc. I think. (why care about respecting your own creation when you can just chug out content to consume for the sake of it and it will still work?).

And... it's without depth when you go beyond the surface I think. Idk if without depth is the word for it, but for me that's how it feels. Unremarkable. Consumed then forgotten immediately. Pretty metaphor, complex pretty lines, direct reference (tell the reference and don't show it like the original did with orpheus and eurydice...) and that's it. I can't say how, I know the original was said in even simpler terms in a way, "the worst is you and I", but for me it carries so much more still. because it works for timebomb i think. It fits with timebomb this verse, said like that "the worst is you and I". In the original everything like the language used, the way they speak, fits with timebomb, Jinx, Ekko.

in the extended version... it doesn't. it's weird. It's... out of place. Too pretty ornamented, in the structure, like purple prose a little.

It doesn't make much sense with its source material and the character/relationship/story it's supposed to be about.

and it doesn't even add to it. it simply repeats it with a theme -sea- that wasn't even there originally. A way of speaking that doesn't fit and is out of place.

And Timebomb did not have the water/sea theme originally. (Jinx and Silco did.). It's thrown in like that, even if it doesn't necessarily fit very well with what was already there. i don't know... again it doesn't feel substantial or that deep and meaningful to me. Not in addition to what we already got. Would it have been there from the start... maybe it'd be better. But here it repeats what was already said, just gives it the pretty form of a metaphor.

It doesn't fit with Timebomb. Feels very superficial, the whole thing. Like... just lretty words and a metaphor added like that just to add something. It doesn't fit, it is wonky, it even contradict things a little...

It all really reads for me as "let's just give them content. even if it doesn't make a lot of sense."

but why care if it's wonky if it works and is consumed as intended?

That's my issue. And why this causes me to be apprehensive for the future. This sets yet another precedent. And plays into larger issues, is part of a bigger landscape that does just that -on another scale, and worst sometimes.- that do not respect their own stories and characters, for the sake of content to consume.

And you'll tell me "well what did you expect?". And before the MV i would have said "nothing. I know what to expect of the industry and specifically riot, and riot with arcane. I have seen s2. So what I expect is : nothing substantial and lack of respect of their own stories/characters/themes".

But the MV, - being, for me, art, and perfectly nailing it about timebomb and the essence of the ship and both characters and where they were in their development and the development of their relationship, etc. - gave me hope for the future of timebomb, if they show up in future installments. I was stupid and naive to hope that for once a story was gonna be good, continued well, I suppose.

Idk. It's just a song I know that, but the issue is in what it represents. The general landscape it goes into. As i said. It's not that much the thing itself, than what's behind it. The thing is wonky, the thing doesn't fit, the thing does go against established stuff, not a lot ok i'll admit it, but a little. It has a pretty varnish "look a metaphor and a mythological reference" but when you go behind it... what's truly there? What does it brings? what does it truly mean? Is it just a pretty repetition?

It's thrown at us "new content!" for us only to consume it. Even if it's not good. Is it awfully bad? no, but it's not really good either. it's... bland. It's pretty. That's... it.

The issue, is in what it could mean for the story, the one of Jinx and Ekko (and the future of it if there's a spinoff, or if they appear in another spinoff.). What will be done with them.

But also... yeah as a symptom of the industry in general. About stories, art, in general.

I really wasn't expecting much for said future, following s2 -and with the general landscape of the entertainment industry, and all the messed up shows, games, etc. of the last few years- that already had squandered its own themes and character development. Tbh I had already planned to skip the spinoffs of Arcane and just get to see the pretty art with social medias. But the MV really gave me a little bit of hope for at least timebomb.

Now... well. I lost the little bit of hope I had gained when I read even just the snippet of the lyrics I read. -And just... just the fact this thing exists as it is. I still find ludicrous the idea to put coldplay on MME. No shade to coldplay, again, but it just... does not fit. The decision to do this in the first place is still nonsensical to me.-

+s2 at it was + the entertainment/art industry in general and the precedents of the last years (5/7 years, a decade others would say)

I'm actually scared about what will be done in spinoffs with them (about the respect of their theme/character development, getting quality stuff with pple trying to do right by their stories, etc.) and starting to hope it won't happen.

My actual first thoughts reading the snippet were " what does this has to do with timebomb? scylla*? the sea theme? this religious devotion thing??? sanctify? glorify? isn't the whole timebomb thing the fact he DID hate her**? did give up on her?? And then one of their important thing is that now they have to relearn to know/love each others in the main universe? the whole forgiveness thing too, learn to accept, etc? it doesn't work thematically the extreme devotion and even kinda contradict what was established with timebomb." (* after some thinking I did get scylla : the monster you are attracted to even if she'll cause you to sink, tries to get away but siren's call, compelled, etc etc. This part works thematically, but could have been its own thing. it's also a repeat of what was already established. so... was it needed? Or was it just... more content to consume? as I already said. i'm repeating myself a little I know. But tbh the sudden introduction of the sea theme threw me off at first. I really was like "the f?"

** yes it's written "hate you" but this is canceled by the rest and the glorify blablabla stuff. It feels thrown here bc it has to be there to go with the rest of the song.)

Then I tried to think "nah. Let it rest a little. don't be too harsh. And it's only one part. And it is pretty yeah. It's technically not bad... idk." But...

No. The more I think about it, and timebomb in general bc like it's one of my special interest, I think about it a lot. The less I like it I think. all that i said above. It's bland. It's pretty. Nothing more to it. Contradicts timebomb a little (religious devotion part.) just... new content for the sake of it. It doesn't fit, doesn't truky bring anything.

But as I said my true issue is more what it means. what it means going forward, and the precedent it sets, for timebomb specifically.

I think the repetition of this concept of her being bad for him, but he can't help it, and the introduction of the new sea/mermaid theme could have worked... if they had been their own thing. Aka : Their own damn song. Developped more, taking the time to give depth, to introduce the new theme, etc. Develop the reference to scylla, etc.

the other stuff... eh. not so much. contradicts too much for me. (as it is with the verse.)

Now, I will admit : maybe in the rest of the new added things (are there others new added things? or is the new verse the only new thing?) there are redeeming qualities in the lyrics. Or it give context to the verse, like the religious devotion thing I dislike so bc it doesn't work with the characters and their relationship and development as they were in the show. Idk. I have enough negative emotions in my life these days. I do not want or need more by going on about this any longer. And tbh... I'm feeling stupid enough as it is to have had some hope and now be disappointed. And for caring so much about what is ultimately just a song and just fictional characters. But that's who I am, and autism with the special interests, so I suppose I just need to own up to that. But I won't drag this further. I'm gonna do the good old "ignore what you dislike and have fun with the rest.". I have lots of projects with timebomb and a lot of fun with art and fanfics, dunno if my mental health will allow any of it to be posted publicly, but I am having fun. And I have positive comments to leave to artists and fanfics I like. And artists and gifsets and analysis I like to reblog. Lots of positive stuff. I'll have fun, then my brain will switch interest and I will still care but not as much by the time the spinoffs will come. (hopefully).

However even if it was the case (context and redeeming qualities with the full lyrics) I still stand by : 1. it does not fit. It should have been its own song, at least. Many pple share this sentiment from what I've seen.

2. it's just... content to consume for the sake of content to consume imo. Which in itself there's nothing wrong with some things being just content to consume... but these days we have mostly nearly only that. And you know capitalism and what it means and entails and thr consequences when giving in too much etc etc.

and all that I wrote higher up about what "content to consume just to be consumed" means and the risks etc.

3. I really have no hope about future installments, the future of timebomb I mean and actually am apprehensive of what will be done in the future. It's not just bc of the song, I want to emphasize that. I had very little to no hope before already. bc of s2, the general landscape etc. what I already said. But the song didn't help.

in conclusion... I suppose?

In general I truly wonder and fears : where are the stories? Where is art going? What are we doing?

Those thoughts have been plaguing me a while... what are we doing? where are we going with medias and stories and art? (and AI is... I don't want to be pessimistic but it is like one of the last nail in the coffin.)

and this is playing into those thoughts. My fears of the future of timebomb are linked to those more general thoughts.

Honestly, I thought when I got into arcane I had found something I would not have to care about seeing the characters ruined after the show. I knew getting into it s2 wasn't great, but I thought it was over after it. I did not know spinoffs were being prepared. I got into it thinking that for once I wouldn't have to fear seeing the stories and characters be -further- messed up. And when i watched and fell in love with timebomb, I was overjoyed thinking that was it. We got this great thing -a bit incomplete yes, and with issues regarding Ekko as a character by himself and his tree and the firelights- and now it's open and free and no risks of it getting ruined.

That is personal tho, I recognize that. And as so the part of my feelings towards further installements that is coming from that are of course my own and subjective. I admit and recognize and take this into consideration when thinking and writing this... very long essay.

also finally : all that is just my opinion and thoughts. My analysis. We can disagree etc.+ english is not my native language and all that.

I still love timebomb a lot. That does not change for now, and is actually what's inspiring all that.

(please forgive weird formatting with upper/lower case, like at the start of sentences or with "I". my phone is dying, it's standing on its last leg, typing with it is incrementally complicated and the new one is taking its sweet time to arrive.)

I will use all of my willpower to not edit this a billion times. I think it should be ok, I've been ruminating all of those thoughts for a while and have edited this a billion times already whilst it was in my drafts. (I tried to keep this to myself, knowing how fandom receives criticism and "negative" stuff these days. Also ANXIETY. But... I think, we're here to share stuff, in my opinion. Fandom is not necessarily just about loving absolutely everything of our source material is what I mean, but about sharing in general, I think. And criticism is not hate. I am not hating. I am criticizing. We can critize stuff. It is actually good to criticize stuff I think. And share around it. We just have to tag accordingly so the people that do not want or cannot handle criticism of what they like can avoid it. Also even if it's not necessarily as easily visible for most as posts like these are -well actually lots of it is... I do reblog stuff I like, with compliments, a lot- I do participate positively too in fandoms. One can do both. Criticize and yet appreciate stuff and be positive about the stuff they appreciate.)