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borathae · 6 years ago

Text

↳ Index [#07 Act Seven: Hearts Come Together]

Warnings: awkward tension & misunderstandings, fighting & more misunderstandings lmao

Wordcount: 8k

“D-do you want to w-walk together?” Yoongi asks, scratching the back of his neck.

“Sure I’d love to”, you smile.

“Cool”, he murmurs, smiling softly.

You walk down the familiar path, past the many small houses and little shops and over the wooden bridge on which the lamp posts shine.

“You know I have never seen where you live”, you break the silence.

“It’s b-boring. You d-don’t want to see it”, he answers.

He kicks a little stone, it rolls off the bridge, landing in the water. Waves dance over the surface, small circles turn into bigger ones, big circles turn into even bigger ones. In perfect harmony they coexist. You both had watched the circles dance on the water’s surface, standing next to each other as each of you held onto the wooden railing.

“I’m sure it’s not”, you assure him.

You turn to him, leaning your hip against the railing. You love how his nose looks in the lighting, how it curves perfectly and how his philtrum casts a faint shadow as it connects his button nose with his doll-like lips.

Yoongi chuckles, it’s quiet and if it wasn’t for the silence of the evening you wouldn’t have been able to hear it. His eyes begin to sparkle in excitement, the corners of his lips twitch upwards.

“Are you indirectly a-asking me to, to show you my home?”

You shrug your shoulders, not daring to look at him, feeling nervous.

“Maybe I am”, you mumble.

Yoongi takes a quick glance at you, before he starts to blush.

“You can say no of course, I just wanted to, I don’t know, spend a little more time with you. Now that you are so busy with practice”, you confess.

“With me? W-why?” Yoongi gasps, his eyes widened.

You look at him, not quite believing that he still doesn’t realise how much fun it is to spend time with him.

“Because I like hanging out with you.”

“Oh”, his lips form an o-shape, his cheeks are flushed pink.

He looks so cute, it makes you giggle fondly.

“And besides I’m sure you haven’t had a proper meal in days. I can’t let you go to bed on an empty stomach”, you add.

Yoongi doesn’t know what to say. One side of his body screams at him to run, overwhelmed by your affection, whilst the other half tells him to stay and finally accept your kindness. This is all so new to him, so foreign but all so, so...Amazing, it feels amazing.

“Is it t-that obvious?” he almost sounds embarrassed that he was caught.

“Kind of yeah”, you chuckle.

It makes Yoongi laugh too, his chest feels so warm.

“So what is your answer?”

A moment of silence, only the rushing of the stream can be heard and the distant honk of a car.

“O-okay”, he mumbles, nodding furiously.

“Cool”, you swallow down your squeal, “I’m happy.”

The both of you don’t take the usual right turn as you always do when Yoongi walks you home, but instead he leads you straight down the road. You had never been in this area so every new house you pass by is exciting to you. Yoongi, who had very much noticed your obvious interest in this place, smiles to himself, looking to the side so you wouldn’t be able to see it.

“I’m already really g-good at t-the piece”, he says proudly.

You look at him.

“Are you? I’m happy for you.”

Yoongi nods, smiling in a thin line.

“I didn’t like it at first. I thought it’s too b-boring for a competition b-but now I really like it.”

“Yes I was quite surprised myself when I read the required piece, I really thought they would choose Liszt so seeing Beethoven's name on the paper surprised me a lot.”

“Me too. They probably chose it because Liszt would be t-too hard for m-most students.”

You snort, sending Yoongi an amused look.

“Do I hear an ounce of cockiness in your voice right now?”

Yoongi grins in a lopsided smile, shrugging his shoulders.

“I’m just saying.”

You chuckle. This newfound confidence suits him, making your heart race all the more.

“Do you think I will be able to listen to it soon? I’m already so curious to hear.”

“Uhm”, Yoongi coughs, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “I d-don’t k-know. M-maybe?” he stutters, blushing.

“Or perhaps it would be better if Taehyung listened to you first. After all, you have known him longer than me.”

“No!” Yoongi blurts out, startling you.

You stare at him with big eyes.

He is cringing. He didn’t plan on yelling right now, why on earth did his body betray him like that. He feels awful, you even flinched because of him.

“I mean-“, he clears his throat, “I w-want you to be first”, he mumbles, averting his shy gaze to the ground.

You aren’t scared of him now, are you? He looks at you from the corners of his eyes. Your face glows in happiness, your eyes are sparkling and your lips smiling.

“You, you do?” you bite the tip of your tongue to stop yourself from grinning like a madwoman.

“Yes I d-do", Yoongi nods, still keeping his head lowered. He is blushing vividly right now, his whole face feels like it is burning up.

You almost seem to skip slightly with every step you take, like an excited little child at a funfair. Yoongi feels his heart speed up and his stomach clench. You are so beautiful.

“Thank you for trusting me so much”, you say and giggle.

Yoongi simply hums, nodding his head. He is lost for words right now, he doesn’t want to ruin this moment right now. He doesn't want to give you an answer because he knows that his voice would crack like the giddy man he is.

You sigh happily, looking up into the sky.

“The clouds are all gone again, you can see so many stars tonight. Look”, you point at the sky, smiling at him with sparkling eyes.

Yoongi looks up. You are right. Millions and millions of white stars twinkle on the black sky, some shine brighter than others. Butterflies dance in his stomach. He never realised how beautiful the night sky looks, how the stars paint patterns on their black canvas. A dog, some circles, a big heart. Yoongi can see paintings in the sky. Has the world always been this beautiful? He was always too busy with trying to hide the world away under a big hood and with his eyes lowered to the ground to notice. It is the first time in a long time that his head is raised and that his eyes take in the beauty. He can breathe again, in this cold winter's night he finally feels like breathing freely again.

You giggle. Your hand brushes his for the slightest bit, making his skin tingle.

“You see those stars over there. It’s a constellation, Ursa Major.”

“I do”, he says, following the path your fingers paint for him with his eyes.

“My dad always watched the stars with me when I was little, that’s why I love looking at them so much”, you smile, “he always took my hand before he walked out into the garden with me. We sat down next to the roses my mother had planted and then we just looked into the sky for what felt like hours as he showed me every constellation he could remember.”

“You must have had an amazing childhood.”

“Yeah”, you chuckle, “yeah I did. Sometimes I miss it”, you sigh sadly.

“Me too.”

“Did you also watch the stars with your father?” you look at him.

He is shaking his head, smiling sadly.

“No I didn’t. But I always went on adventures with my older brother. We lived close t-to mountains for the first d-decade of my life and, and every morning my brother would wake me up and, and t-tell me that it is time for our adventures again”, he chuckles, “I loved waking up so much b-because of t-that. We, we would spend the whole d-day in the mountains until we had t-to come home for dinner.”

“This sounds like so much fun.”

He nods his head, looking at you with smiling eyes.

“It was.”

You both sigh in contentment, looking up into the sky again. A small cloud drifts past the moon, covering its right half completely. It gets darker down on earth with the moon covered. Colder too. You both shiver.

“And now look at us, both living in a city far too big for us”, you say.

“Yeah”, he answers, sounding just as sad as you do.

“It’s so cold all of a sudden”, you not only mean the weather right now, your heart feels heavy in your chest.

“It is?” he looks at you before unwrapping the thick grey scarf from his neck. “Here take this.”

He wraps it around you, the gesture making butterflies dance in your stomach. The scarf feels soft on your skin, it is still warm from Yoongi. It smells like him.

“But what about you? Aren’t you cold too?” you tangle your fingers in his scarf, not wanting to let go.

He shakes his head, hiding his freezing fingers in the pockets of his jacket.

“I’m not, just t-take it for now. I d-don’t need it”, he mumbles.

Your cheeks heat up, your chest feels warm.

“Thank you”, you mumble before snuggling your face into his scarf and inhaling the scent.

You may be lost in a city too big for you, but with Yoongi by your side, being lost doesn’t seem that scary anymore.

Yoongi stops abruptly, seemingly on edge. He jumps from one foot to the other, fidgeting with his jacket sleeves as he looks at you with blushing cheeks.

“Y-you may have h-heard a, a lot of t-things about m-my apartment. But just-“, he sighs, “p-please d-don’t judge”, he whispers almost sadly.

You break the distance between the two of you. His eyes race between yours.

“Hey”, you touch his elbow, “you know that I don’t buy the crap people say, I won’t judge.”

Your promise seems to relax Yoongi, his fidgeting stops, his breathing returns to normal.

“Okay, w-well then we are here”, he says, pointing down a flight of stairs, which seem to lead to a cellar.

It is narrow and badly lit, definitely creepy if you were being honest. Interesting. You hadn’t expected that, you had figured he would point at one of the contemporary apartments above your heads.

Yoongi leads you down the stairs, you in front and him in the back.

“I b-bought it myself”, he says almost proudly, “It’s not b-big, but it’s still nice inside, t-trust me.”

He unlocks his door, his body close to yours in the narrow staircase. You feel the material of his jacket brush against your arm with every move he makes. The smell of his perfume tickles your nose, his face so close you would be able to kiss his cheek if only you leaned forward. Is he as affected by the close proximity as you are right now? He doesn’t seem like it at least, his eyes are fixated on the now opened door.

Thankfully humans aren’t able to hear other peoples racing heartbeats, Yoongi thinks to himself as he tries not to stare at you too much.

“Welcome to Casa del Min”, he announces as he steps through the door and lets you inside.

You laugh, finding it hilarious how he had sounded right now. Yoongi looks at you, basking in your appreciation for his joke. Cute, he thinks to himself, before a fond smile creeps up his blushing face.

“I’m honored”, you laugh, stepping inside.

Just as Yoongi had promised, the apartment looks a lot cozier inside. It is small, just one room in which the kitchen, the living room and the entrance area are. The bathroom is probably behind the closed door opposite of the entrance. The walls are painted white, fresh. Yoongi must have painted them recently.

“D-do you want a t-tour?” he asks.

“Sure why not”, you nod your head.

“Okay so h-here is the living room. I use t-the couch as m-my bed and as m-my dining table too”, he sits down on it.

“That’s some great multitasking you are doing there”, you say and chuckle, sitting down next to him.

“Y-yeah”, he says shyly.

His mind has only processed now how close you are, how your full attention is on him right now, how he could reach out and hold your hand. He swallows, feeling himself getting anxious all of a sudden.

He points at the kitchen, his head lowered.

“A-and that is, is my k-kitchen. I cook stuff t-there”, he mumbles.

He points to the closed door, his cheeks heating up.

“T-that’s m-my b-bathroom. I d-do b-bathroom stuff in t-there”, he murmurs, having to take a deep breath after finishing his sentence.

You can’t help but laugh, finding his behavior heartwreckingly endearing.

“W-why?” he asks confused.

“Nothing”, you giggle, “I just think you are really cute”, you confess, making Yoongi blush all the more.

“Oh, I, oh. I-“, he coughs, “h-hungry. Are y-you a-also hungry?” he jumps up from the couch, waddling to the kitchen and opening cupboard after cupboard.

Act natural, he thinks to himself. Don’t let her know that he is practically melting because of her words.

“W-what you want?” he has to swallow. Why does his mouth feel so dry?

“What do you have?”

You watch him scurry around, kneeling in front of an opened cupboard and taking out everything except a cooking pot. When he finally does manage to grab a pot, plastic bowls and different sized pans litter his floor.

“Ramen and s-some rice”, he has been staring into his nearly empty fridge for what feels like hours now. Why does his face still feel like it is burning up? Is the fridge turned off, why isn’t it cooling him down?

“It’s not quite the proper meal I had imagined but I won’t complain. Ramen always sounds nice”, you say, finally standing up to walk to the kitchen as well.

You step over the bowls and pans on the floor, trying your hardest not to accidentally step on one.

“I, I could walk down t-to the store if you w-want”, he suggests, pulling out his wallet.

“No Yoongi, it’s okay, don’t worry”, you send him a reassuring smile.

“R-really?”

“Yes, really. Don’t worry I like ramen”, you assure him, pouring some water into the pot, “I was just worried about you not getting enough nutrients”, you joke.

“Why me?” he is watching you with curious eyes, leaning against the fridge for support.

“Because you have been practicing day and night, giving yourself no time to eat properly”, you explain.

You pick up the package of instant ramen, Yoongi had laid out for you. Spicy chicken flavor with vegetable flakes. One of your favourites, so Yoongi is a man of taste.

“Oh”, he chuckles in embarrassment, “I just want the song t-to be great. I really want to w-win.”

You look up from the stove to send him a reassuring smile.

“I’m sure you will. You are so talented.”

Yoongi looks to the ground, hiding his giddy smile.

“T-thanks”, he mumbles, almost giggles even.

The water has finally started to cook and with a few skilled movements the ramen are in the pot, cooking happily in their spicy chicken broth. The smell is mouthwatering, making not only yours but also Yoongi’s stomach grumble.

“Just five more minutes and we can eat. Do you want an egg in yours?” you say as you walk to the fridge.

Yoongi, who had only realised now that he basically made you do everything, rips the fridge open before you can, pulling out his last two eggs.

“You, you don’t need to, to cook for me. You are my g-guest”, he says, his voice filled with guilt.

“And what if I want to?”

Yoongi tilts his head to the side, looking at you parted with lips.

“You have been working so hard, let me treat you tonight like the good friend I am”, you tell him as you take the eggs out of his hands.

His skin brushes over yours just for the slightest of moments, but it still leaves you hot all over. Friend, you almost laugh at the irony of your own words. You feel so guilty, calling him your friend but secretly wanting nothing more than to kiss those rosy cheeks of his.

You quickly turn around before your urges get the best of you, walking back to the stove. Two minutes left, the perfect time to put in the eggs and stare awkwardly long into the steaming pot.

Yoongi, who had watched you with sparkling eyes, finally gives in and walks back to the couch. He sits down, relaxing into the soft cushions. You were right, he feels so tired that he could honestly fall asleep right here and there if it wasn’t for you still being with him. What he must have done in his past to deserve someone as nice and caring as you in his life. He still doesn’t know the answer to that, probably never will. He watches you split the ramen equally into two bowls with your tongue sticking out, whilst you hum a happy melody. He doesn’t know what that warm feeling in his chest means, but he knows one thing for sure. He never wants this to end.

Once you feel satisfied with the garnish, basically some sesame seeds which came with the package, you walk to Yoongi.

“Here you go. Be careful it’s so hot”, you say, handing him the bowl of steaming noodles.

He accepts it with a content nod of his head and a quite “thank you.”

You and him take the first bite of food at the same time, both of you humming happily at the taste of chewy noodles and the flavorful chicken soup.

“There is nothing better than hot ramen at night”, you gush to which Yoongi agrees with a loud hum.

“Although my face always looks so swollen the next morning”, you mumble with food stuffed in your mouth.

“That’s a price I-I’m willing to pay”, Yoongi retorts.

“I have to agree with you on that one”, you chuckle.

Once your bowls are empty and your stomachs full, you stand up, ready to clean the dishes. Yoongi however stops you before you can go to the kitchen, refusing to hand you his bowl.

“Just leave them. I, I will clean up tomorrow”, he tells you, making you sit down.

“You sure? It’s no problem.”

“I’m sure, j-just relax a little”, he wants to pat your arm, give it a gentle squeeze, but before his skin can touch yours, he pulls back in nervousness.

“Alright, o-okay”, you stutter.

With nothing distracting you from the fact of how close you actually are, your heart soon begins to race. The natural silence falls between you two, your not-so-secret glances at each other begin. Yoongi fidgets with a pillow he holds tightly in his hands, staring at the opposite wall.

You look around his apartment. He has a lot more plants than you had imagined, six if you don't count in the spring onion plant next to his sink.

“It’s really cozy here. I like the plants you have”, you say.

Yoongi looks at you for the briefest of moments.

“T-thank you. Taehyung t-told me to get some so I would have a reason to, to go home and not practice all week”, he says.

“That’s actually a clever idea”, you chuckle.

“Yeah it d-doesn’t quite work. I originally had fifteen plants”, he confesses.

You snort, giggling afterwards.

“But hey at least you still have those seven left.”

“True I guess”, he shrugs his shoulders.

He doesn’t have a piano, all to your surprise, which explains his late night practices at school.

“I could have been sure that you owned a piano.”

“Why?”

“Because you look like someone owning one”, you turn your head to him, he is looking at you curiously, “did you ever own a piano before?”

“Yeah”, he looks back at the wall, clutching the pillow tightly, “at h-home in my p-parents house I had t-two.”

“You did? Wow, that's so great that they are supporting your dream. You must be really close to your parents, right?”

Yoongi looks at you for the briefest of moments. He shrugs his shoulders, his jaw tensed.

“Not really.”

Your smile drops when seeing the sadness in his eyes.

“Oh, really? But I thought they supported you, you know, paying for the school and everything.”

Yoongi scoffs, it almost sounds angry. He doesn’t look into your eyes, instead his eyes burn holes into the wall next to him. Was asking him about his parents a good idea? He seems so distant all of a sudden.

“I don’t really like to talk about them”, he says coldly.

You swallow at the tone of his voice, having to wrap your arms around your own body to stop yourself from shivering. It sounds so cold, so distant, like he is angry at you for asking such stupid questions.

“Okay, yeah, I mean that’s, that’s totally fine”, you laugh awkwardly.

Yoongi nods his head the slightest bit, still not looking at you. The cold shoulder he has turned to you, makes you feel like you are at the wrong place, like he doesn’t even want you here.

"Shall we talk about something else?"

Yoongi turns even more of his back to you.

“A-actually, I think it’s getting rather late anyways. I think I should get going now and, and let you get your well-deserved sleep”, you say, stumbling to your feet and to the entrance.

You feel so guilty, you made him clearly so uncomfortable with your noisy questions that he doesn’t even want to look at you anymore. You just want to run away, get out of this stupid situation as soon as possible.

You are too busy with tying your shoes to notice Yoongi burying his face in the palms of his hands in frustration as a tired sigh leaves his lips. You stand up, grabbing the door knob.

“I’ll get going then”, you look at him, he doesn’t meet your eyes, “thanks for the ramen, they tasted really good.”

Yoongi nods, his fists are clenched by his sides, his shoulders shaking.

“Maybe one day we can repeat it again”, you force a smile to your lips.

Yoongi still doesn’t look at you, gnawing on his lower lip.

“Anyways. See you soon”, you twist the doorknob, stepping outside.

Yoongi jumps up, rushing to you. Your eyes are big, your heart races in anticipation.

“Do, do you want me t-to walk you home?” he asks, almost hopeful.

“No it’s okay, just get your sleep. I’m a big girl I can manage”, you tell him.

His face falls, his eyes seem almost lifeless, tired and glassy.

“Okay”, he whispers before turning around dragging himself back to the couch.

How you would love to dug him in, stroke his hair and tell him how sorry you are for mentioning his parents. But you have already done enough damage for today, so instead you whisper your goodbye and close the door behind you.

The night is cold and gruesome, freezing you down to your bones, making you shiver uncontrollably on your way back home. In your haste you had totally forgotten your coat at Yoongi’s place. Perhaps you deserve to freeze for messing it up with him again. God, you could slap your past-self straight across her stupid, nosy face.

Sleep comes hard for you that night. Even with three blankets covering you, you can’t stop shivering. When sleep does finally come, after two hours of tossing and turning, the ringing of your phone wakes you up mercilessly just twenty minutes after drifting off.

You don’t even check the caller, instantly rejecting them. You curse them loudly, pressing the palms of your hands to your tired eyes. They can’t be serious, who on earth thinks that two in the morning is a reasonable time to call someone. Perhaps it had been Jungkook or Jimin calling, to try and get your forgiveness. Well, now they sure won’t get it.

The caller tries again, you can feel the vibration of your phone first before the loud ringtone blasts through the silent room.

You groan, reaching for the phone to pick up. You don’t even care to check the caller's ID, your only goal is to tell the person calling off in the rudest way possible.

“___?” Yoongi’s voice makes you instantly swallow down the insults.

He sounds even raspier on the phone.

“Yes?”

“They disowned me and told me to never come back once t-they found out that, t-that I won’t perform.”

Your hazy mind needs a moment to register his words. Who is he talking about?

“And now we, we don’t-“, Yoongi swallows hard, “-we don’t talk anymore. T-they cut my allowance and, and took away m-my apartment”, he sighs, takes a shaky breath, “and now they want me to, to pay them back the, the school’s fee.”

And then it clicks. Like pieces of a domino everything falls into place. His parents, he is talking about his parents.

“Yoongi I-. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s not your f-fault.”

“It kind of is, I asked this stupid question and made you think of something so painful. I feel like I’m forcing you to think of something you don’t even want to think about.”

“You’re not forcing me. I wanted t-to tell you. I couldn’t sleep because I kept thinking about you, no I mean, not y-you, but how you left. And I was so scared that, that I messed it up again, that’s why I, I called to m-make it right. I'm s-sorry for t-turning my back on y-you.”

“There is nothing to make right here Yoongi. I’m not mad at you.”

Yoongi lets out a sigh of relief.

“Thank god, I thought I ruined everything.”

“You didn’t.”

You smile, closing your eyes, imagining his face, his smell, how his arms would feel wrapped around you. And little did you know, Yoongi is doing the exact same thing, resting his head on a pillow in hopes it would feel just like your shoulder.

He whispers your name.

“Yes?”

“Do you think I could show them?”

“Show who?”

“My parents at the competition, that I started to, to perform.

“Of course you can, you just have to invite them.”

Yoongi hums a yes as he tightens his arms around his pillows. Silence, all you can hear is his steady breathing and the ticking of your alarm clock.

“Yoongi?”

“Yes?”

“You’re not falling asleep are you?”

“No-“, he yawns, “-I’m thinking.”

“About?”

“The competition. I’m-“, he takes a shaky breath, “I’m so scared.”

“Don’t be, I’m sure you’ll nail it.”

“B-but what if I blush? Or, or freeze? Or forget everything? I’m so scared ___”, he sounds so small.

“Hey Yoongi, don't think about the what ifs too much. You still have one week to go, that’s enough time to perfect your play and work on your stage fright.”

“Will you help me?” he sounds quiet, hopeful.

“I would love to help you. I could start anytime, tomorrow, next Tuesday, right now. You name it.”

Yoongi laughs at your enthusiasm, loudly and heartfelt. The sound is new to you, leaving you almost breathless.

“T-tomorrow maybe?” he is still laughing carelessly.

“Sure let’s make it tomorrow then”, your heart races in your chest.

Yoongi smiles, hugging his pillow tighter to his body and nuzzling his face into it.

“Nice”, he breathes.

“Nice. I’ll bring some snacks as well.”

“Okay.”

You both take a deep breath, grinning from ear to ear. You feel excited, your body is prickling, like millions of ants crawl through your veins, your heart is racing.

“So I guess that’s official then?”

Yoongi hums a yes, nodding his head eventhough you can’t see him.

“Cool. See you tomorrow then”, you say as calmly as possible.

“See you tomorrow.”

You are in the middle of ending the call when Yoongi calls your name.

“Yes Yoongi?”

“Sweet d-dreams”, he whispers fondly.

You smile.

“Sweet dreams to you too. Good night.”

“Good night.”

And with that you both end the call at the same time with happiness in your heart and butterflies in your stomachs.

You arrive at the practice room at exactly ten minutes past eleven. The school is long empty and the hallways quiet. So is the practice room. In fact it is so quiet you are scared Yoongi might have forgotten about your arrangement.

That is until you twist the doorknob, revealing a moonlit practice room and Yoongi leaning against the window sill whilst staring out into the night. He has his back turned to you and earbuds in. His fingers tap on the black marble window sill to the melody of the song he is listening to. Tiny hums leave him, a little higher in pitch than his normal talking voice. It brings a smile to your face. He really is a cute man when he thinks no one is watching.

"Someone seems to be in a good mood tonight", you say as you flick the light switch on.

Yoongi flinches, gasping in shock before he twists around. He blinks rapidly, trying to get his eyes to adjust to the sudden bright lights.

"You just, shit, you scared me so m-much", he pants, pressing his hand flat to his chest.

You stifle a laugh at seeing his expression. His eyes are widened comically big and his eyebrows are raised high with his lips curled into a small pout.

"Sorry I thought you heard me come in."

Yoongi removes his earbuds, turns his music off and puts his phone on the window sill.

"I didn't. I listened t-to music", he blushes, scratching the back of his neck.

"I figured, I liked the little hums you did. They sounded great", you tell him.

Yoongi’s eyes widen.

"What?" he gasps, "you, you heard t-that?"

"Just a little yeah."

Yoongi starts fumbling with the sleeves of his flannel, seemingly embarrassed. He avoids looking at you, instead his head is lowered.

"Should I be scared of competition now?" you joke.

Yoongi laughs, raising his head and waving his hands “no”.

"No, no I c-could never do what you d-do. It's too stressful", he chuckles.

You join his laughter, breaking the distance between the two of you now that the first initial discomfort had been broken.

"Says the pianist out of the two of us. Playing the piano is stressful too."

"I guess", his eyes race as he is thinking hard, "it's p-probably because I, I know what I, I am doing whilst playing the, the piano that, that I don't see it as stressful. Same as you with singing, r-right?"

He looks at you expectantly, tilting his head slightly to the right.

"Now that you put it like that. Yes that's right."

He grins when getting your approval that his theory is correct.

"Speaking of knowing what you are doing. How is practice going? Did you practice some before I arrived here?" you point at the black grand piano.

The cover is opened, the chair slightly dragged out from underneath the piano and sheet music rests in its designated stand.

"A little", Yoongi mumbles, combing his fingers through his hair awkwardly.

Suddenly he sighs.

"I d-don't know if I can do it", he confesses as his shoulders sag in defeat.

"Hey", you pat his arm reassuringly, "I won't judge you, promise."

He looks at you, the fond smile on his face making your heart beat faster in your chest.

"Do you perhaps want to try now?" you have to swallow from the way Yoongi’s eyes sparkle for you.

Did it get warmer in this room? Your cheeks feel terribly hot right now.

"Okay", he nods his head.

He shuffles to the piano and sits down on the chair. He stares at the keys and sheet music whilst biting on his nails, his left leg is fidgeting up and down under the piano. He looks tense and anxious, it almost reminds you of Yoongi in the first few days of meeting him.

"Okay", he whispers to encourage himself.

He puts his hands on the keys, they start visibly shaking. His breathing gets ragged.

"Do you want a break?" you suggest, keeping your distance as to not overwhelm him even more.

His shoulders rise to his ears, his hands clench to fists.

"B-breathe, I j-just need t-to b-breathe", he says quietly.

He takes a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling loudly. From where you are standing you can see that he has his eyes closed as he continuously breathes in and out.

You keep quiet the entire time, waiting patiently until he calms down enough to open his eyes again. He takes a quick glance at you. He is blushing.

"I'm sorry", he murmurs.

"Don't apologize. It's okay", you assure him.

Yoongi nods his head thankfully.

"I'll t-try now", he says before looking back at the piano.

His fingers hit the keys, shrill at first, almost as if he wanted to see if the piano actually works. When it is very clear for both of you that it does work, the shrill key smashing quickly turns into light notes. The melody normally is fast paced and loud but Yoongi takes his time with the notes, playing everything slow and calculated. It doesn't sound like his play at all, he is almost forcing the piano to produce sound.

And Yoongi senses it as his fingers soon stop on the keys.

"This sounded terrible. I'm s-sorry", he sounds sad.

His head is lowered, the once happy expression from his face wiped away.

"No it's okay. That was just you warming up your fingers, I get it."

You have found a chair to sit down, watching him from his right side.

"Yeah, warming up”, he mumbles, nodding.

He likes this excuse, warming up never has to sound nice. You aren’t judging him right now. That thought makes him feel weirdly at ease.

He cracks his knuckles, rolling his head to stretch his neck.

His fingers land on the keys again, he starts playing. He plays faster this time, louder as well and definitely with more confidence in himself. You can hear the first nuances of Yoongi in the melody. It's still faint, like he doesn’t quite want to come out of hiding yet. But slowly, very slowly, the air around you begins to dance, asking you to get lost in the melody with it.

That is until his finger slips off the keys from being sweaty and a shrill note pierces through the air.

Yoongi winces, instantly hiding his face behind his hands. You can hear him mumble curse words under his breath, most of them are muffled by his hands.

“I’m such a failure”, he whines loudly enough for you to hear.

“Hey Yoongi don’t”, you stand up and walk to the piano to sit down next to him.

You place your hand on his arm, his muscle tensing up at your touch. His hands fall from his face to stare at you instead. He looks totally taken aback by your touch, his eyes racing between yours.

“You’re not a failure”, you assure him, giving his arm a gentle squeeze.

“I am”, he mumbles.

“Don’t do that”, you didn’t intend for your voice to come out angry, but it still did.

Yoongi tilts his head to the side in question, raising one of his eyebrows.

“Stop talking so badly about yourself. You wouldn’t want other people talking to you like that, would you?”

Yoongi shakes his head.

“No I, I wouldn’t.”

“So why are you allowing yourself to talk so badly about your own abilities?”

“I-“, Yoongi lowers his head, “-don’t know”, he mumbles quietly.

Sensing his need for comfort you caress his arm with gentle fingers. Maybe you had imagined it, but it almost seemed like Yoongi had leaned into your touch as his eyes flutter shut for the briefest of moments.

“You are so hardworking and you will play this song perfectly, because you are such a talented person”, you encourage him.

He blushes and smiles.

“Okay, I, I will”, he says as he turns back to the keys again.

His fingers instantly land on the right notes, starting to play. They seem to dance over the keys, moving in perfect sync of the melody with such speed your eyes can’t keep up. Soon all you can see is the beautiful picture the music paints in your head. Fallen leaves of trees as high as mountains dance through a stormy night as they go on their long journey to the far away ground. A wild mountain spring carves its way ruthlessly through the dark stone and in the distance the last shine of the setting sun gets swallowed by the high mountains. Darkness eats light and out of the darkness new light gets born.

“Oh no”, Yoongi rips you out of your daydreams.

You look at him. His face looks paler than usual, his eyes stare emptily at his fingers on the keys. He is breathing hard, his jaw is clenched.

“I messed up.”

He sighs tiredly, pressing his palms flat to his face. He groans loudly.

“I, I can’t. I, just, I can’t”, he breathes heavily, shaking his head.

Watching him beat himself up over such a minor thing hurts your heart. You place a comforting hand over his, revealing his face to you as you pull his palms closer to you. He lets you, watching you with big eyes and surprise glistening in them.

You smile.

"Tell me when did you realise that music was the thing you wanted to do in life?" you ask.

Maybe changing the topic for a moment and making Yoongi think of something other than having to play the piano will help him calm down. Yoongi raises one of his eyebrows, tilting his head to the side.

"I, I don't know, w-when I was a, a child", he finally says, scratching the back of his head.

"Oh really? I did too", you chuckle.

Yoongi lowers his head, staring at the keys. He still doesn't quite get why you so suddenly changed topics. Or why you are sitting so close all of a sudden or holding his hand for that matter. God, your presence makes him feel so dizzy, his heart races like crazy in his tight chest. He knows exactly why he messed up, you are so close it is impossible to concentrate on anything other than your presence.

"D-did you always know that you w-want to be a, a musician?" he asks.

His fingers had unintentionally started playing with yours, tracing your skin gently.

"I think I kind of did, yeah. Maybe I didn't quite realise it at first but deep down in my heart I always knew I wanted to one day be a musician."

Yoongi doesn't say anything, instead he keeps looking at you with curious eyes. He is listening intently to what you are saying.

"What about you? Did you always know you wanted to be a musician?" you ask.

Yoongi nods his head vigorously with a confident look on his face. He looks away, staring at the piano with a dreamy gaze.

"Yes I, I did. I love m-music, I-I really d-do. I a-always d-did. Music always m-made me feel safe and l-like I can be the real me, without having to think of other people's opinions. That's why I became a musician because I can escape reality even if it's just for a short moment. Playing the piano makes me so happy", he smiles, "when I close my eyes and I feel my fingers touch the cold keys of the piano my whole body feels so light, like I can fly, and once that first note rings in my ears I kind of forget myself", he chuckles, "yes, I can really forget everything around me when I'm with my music. I love that feeling", he smiles brightly.

Silence. You simply stare at him with big eyes and your heart racing in your chest. Yoongi, who had noticed your silence, turns his head to look at you confused.

"W-what?"

"Nothing, you just-", you send him a fond smile, "-didn't stutter right now."

Yoongi’s lips become o-shaped, his eyes grow big. It almost seems like he is shocked by your words.

"Oh", he whispers.

"Yeah", you breathe, smiling.

He is smiling too, more with his eyes than his lips, beautiful indeed.

You keep looking at each other, lost in one another's eyes. Two little galaxies glimmer in his dark brown orbs, the beauty of them so immense you feel heat rise to your cheeks. You can hear him breathe, it is the softest sound your ears have ever taken in. Your eyes break contact, flickering down to his lips. They are parted, as pink as always, glistening in the lights. They would probably feel so soft on yours.

Your stomach does somersaults at your thought, your heart speeds up.

You want to kiss him so badly, want to ghost your lips over his and earn a shy gasp from him. You want to tangle your fingers in his dark hair and make him shiver, his hair would probably feel so soft on your skin.

Yes, you really want to feel him close right now, show him just how beautiful he is when he is talking about his passions.

Your fingers around his hand tighten, your knees brush against his as you scoot closer, your eyes still stare at his lips.

Yoongi’s breathing quickens, his cheeks heat up. He had noticed your eyes staring at his lips. It excites him so much, makes his heart race quickly. His fingers clutch the material of his pants, his palms feel sweaty. He is so nervous. What if he read the signs wrong and your eyes just randomly zoned out on his lips? Would you scream if he tried to kiss you, maybe even slap him and call him a pervert?

He has to risk it, even if it means getting his heart broken and his pride hurt.

He leans forward just the tiniest bit, his eyes are fixated on your lips, mesmerized by them. He holds his breath, all he can hear is his own heartbeat.

You however are far too embarrassed about your mind wandering to notice it. You turn your head away in nervousness, laughing awkwardly. Yoongi stops himself midair, nearly falling into you if he hadn't held onto the piano.

"Not that I mind your stutter of course, but I'm glad that you feel relaxed enough now", you blurt out as your attempt at saving the situation. You pull your hand away from his, hiding it in the pockets of your hoodie instead.

Yoongi must think you are a total weirdo, staring at his lips like that. Hopefully you were able to defuse the situation from becoming too uncomfortable for him.

Yoongi pulls back, turning his head to stare at the piano. He scratches the back of his neck, clearing his throat. Fuck, his chest aches so much right now.

"Y-yeah", he mumbles, biting the inside of his cheek afterwards.

"Anyways. Uhm, do you want to try again?" you ask.

“Mhm?” he stares at your lips again. His heart does somersaults in his chest, he has to stop himself from giggling. Perhaps you changed your mind, perhaps you do want to kiss him.

“The piano, do you think you feel confident enough to try it again?”

“Oh”, he quickly looks away, “that’s what you were talking about.”

“What else did you think I was talking about?” you tilt your head to the side, clearly confused by the disappointment in his voice.

“Nothing! I just-. Nothing”, he laughs awkwardly.

You force a chuckle out of you, feeling the need to cup your burning ears.

“Alright cool”, you mumble, clearing your throat afterwards.

The air around you feels so tense. You feel hot, the thick sweater you are wearing making you sweat. You really want to jump up and scream right now, the pressure in your chest gets close to unbearable. Yoongi is so quiet next to you. Why is he so quiet? Is he judging you for nervously fidgeting on the chair next to him? Is he studying the sheet music?

You look at him, meeting his eyes. You look away, biting the inside of your mouth. Why is he staring at you? He must be judging you right now, probably regretting ever inviting you to practice.

“Sorry”, you quickly stumble to your feet, backing away from him, “this is so weird right now.”

“Mhm mhm”, he brushes his fingers through his hair, sighing tiredly.

“You want to keep going?” you laugh nervously.

Yoongi eyes you for a moment in complete silence before he breaks the silence with a loud sigh.

“What are we even doing here?” he asks as he stands up from the piano.

“Practicing your play, what else should there be?”

“Okay, so you think this-“, he gestures between you and him, “-is normal? Like, like there isn’t something else going on here?”

“Something else? Yoongi, what exactly are you talking about?”

You avoid looking at him in fear of him noticing the panic in your eyes.

“You say all these nice things to me. You are convinced I’m a, a good guy, despite knowing nothing about me. And then you, you hold my hand and try to kiss me only to pull away again.”

“I didn’t try to kiss you, don’t be ridiculous”, you want nothing more than for the floor to swallow you whole right now.

“You are just using me aren’t you? To go laugh with your friends Jimin and Jungkook about me later. Right? That’s what this is all about, get the school pervert to like you so you have another thing you can spread around and make fun of.”

His face is contorted in anger, his jaw clenched and his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“And now that I’m actually starting to, to show interest you pull back, because kissing me would be the most disgusting thing ever. R-right?”

“What?” you shake your head, “No, it isn’t. Yoongi I would never”, you break the distance between the two of you, reaching out to take his hands into yours.

He steps back, hiding his hands behind his back.

“Don’t, just leave me alone”, he warns.

“Do you not believe me?” you ask, feeling your heart break already.

“You wouldn’t be the first one”, he scoffs, “I’m so s-stupid for falling for you. Why did I even think you would be any different from the other rats?”

You turn your back to him, not wanting him to see the hurt on your face.

“Well, the difference is that I actually tried to be your friend because I genuinely like you, but apparently you are too stubborn to accept that. And maybe I tried to kiss you because I’m having the biggest crush on you ever and I’m just too shy to act on my feelings, but of course I’m just a devious rat in your eyes.”

He blinks in surprise before your name falls from his lips.

“No it’s okay Yoongi. I get it, you don’t want to let people in, you think you are better off alone and that no one will ever genuinely love you. I get it”, you turn to him to get one last look at him.

He doesn’t meet your eyes, instead he stares at the floor with a clenched jaw.

“I’ll tell Taehyung to help you from now on.”

He nods.

“See you around, good luck at the competition.”

Yoongi says your name, finally looking up only to see you have already closed the door behind you.

“Don’t go please”, he whispers.

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stonedgeneral · 8 years ago

Text

Switch: The Start

A/N: oh god i havent written in so long i dont even know how to do this anymore lmao

Synopsis: taehyung is hired to paint a mural for a high school. Jungkook is one of the students that volunteers to help and finds that he’s the only one interested.

Switch

He started this career path early, taking small jobs from small businesses. He never expected it to flourish the way it did…

–

Miss Fukuhara was a young Japanese art teacher. Every boy in her class was head over heels in love with her, including Kim Taehyung. He would bring her a flower from the school garden every morning, bowing with his arms extended forward, hands holding the dusty pink flower. Her smile every morning was worth it to him. The teasing he got from his friends was something he endured all four years of high school, just to make this young woman smile. He had childishly fallen in love with her, not knowing the repercussions that he would face if he were to ever succeed in wooing her over.

He didn’t even like art. He was good, yes, but only because his mother was talented. He took the class, thinking it was an easy A, his natural talent for both painting and bullshitting was good enough for him. But, like most bad plans, this one didn’t work out the way he expected. Miss Fukuhara saw his potential and encouraged him to sign up for the school art club, then submit his work to competitions, then to make extra money by commissioning his work. She was the sole reason why his half-ass interest in the arts grew to something bigger, to something way above his head.

He stayed after school most days, abusing the lenient rules placed upon the use of school art supplies. He found himself fully immersed in this hobby. If it weren’t such a good excuse to use when he wanted to see Miss Fukuhara, he probably would’ve thrown in the towel months ago. She would always stay after with him, occasionally watching over his shoulder as he sketched, completely engrossed in Taehyung’s talents.

“Have you ever worked with spray paint?” she asked one day. Taehyung lightly shook his head while letting out a soft grunt, telling her he hadn’t. She beamed, though he didn’t see it, he could hear it in her voice. “Then let’s do it. I haven’t worked with it either, and I feel like it would be a good project for the classes to do.” Taehyung paused, his paintbrush just barely touching his canvas.

“I think that would be a great idea.” He turned his attention back to the painting, lightly filling in the hair of the portrait. It was this moment, this brief conversation, that changed the course of his life.

–

Jungkook was, well, a child. At the ripe age of 14, he experienced a lot of change. It was his first year of high school, in a new city, with no one he knows around him, telling him it’ll be okay. But, he lucked out. As his first year dragged on, he found himself at the top, sitting with the popular seniors at lunch, playing with the popular sophomores during gym, and mingling with the popular juniors during the break between classes. He was excited, this was something new. It ignited something within him that he most likely would never have tapped into if his family hadn’t moved.

Before he knew it, the lanky boy he was when he started was long gone, replaced with a more confident, more masculine boy. He excelled in sports and charm, and was able to juggle the practices and tutoring sessions almost perfectly. But, as he got older, he found that he had tried all the sports, met all the people, and became bored. He convinced his parents to let him go abroad to America one summer, using that time to learn a bit of English and immerse himself fully into the dancing community.

This ignited the excitement. He was ready to explore the arts. He wanted to sing, dance, paint, play an instrument, anything new he could learn, he wanted to do it. His parents supported it, providing him the materials needed at a moment’s notice. Jungkook found himself at the top, but he was losing a grip on who he was. That lanky boy he was was completely obliterated by now.

He searched for an identity, somewhere to stay and become a grown up, but he was hitting a wall. Nothing was going up, he flatlined at the top a long time ago. There was nothing higher than where he was and he was craving to do something new.

–

His phone rang loud, ripping through the silence of Taehyung studio apartment. He scrambled for his cell phone, barely glancing at the caller ID before answering it.

“K-Kim Taehyung speaking?” he said, setting his paintbrush in the cup of water beside his canvas.

“Taehyung, this is Mrs. Fukuhara!” Her voice was sweet, warming Taehyung’s thin stature. The voice in the back of his head echoed back “Mrs.?”, but he pushed it back, the smile breaking through the sharp stab in his chest.

“Oh, hello! What can I do for you?” he asked, putting on his professional persona.

“I have a project for you. The school wants a mural painted on the wall outside the lunchroom, you know, the one facing the courtyard?” Taehyung hummed, letting her know he understood. “They wanted to hire a company, but I insisted that you should do it, since you were a student here. Are you up for the challenge?”

Taehyung thought about it. This would be the biggest piece he had ever done. It would be something completely different from what he’s used to doing.

“I’m down. What exactly is the school looking for in this mural?” Mrs. Fukuhara cheered, clearly ecstatic about Taehyung’s willingness to do this.

“They wanted something that reflects how the school impacts their students. I just think it’s perfect for you!” She was beyond excited and it radiated through the phone and to Taehyung. His initial hesitance faded as she continued, talking about how proud she was of him and how much she was looking forward to what he would come up with.

“Well, I should let you go. I think I’ve rambled about this long enough,” she chuckled lightly and they both bid their goodbyes. Taehyung hung up, the smile still stuck to his lips as he set his phone down. He picked up his brush and continued painting, the light strokes filling in petals of the dusty pink flower.

–

Taehyung arrived at the school first thing in the morning. He made his way through the crowd of students and towards the art room, where Mrs. Fukuhara would further explain the assignment. He knocked on the door, eyes immediately landing on the now mature woman. She was sitting at her desk, glasses sitting on her nose and fingers typing away at her computer. She glanced up and her look of concentration dissipated, soon being replaced by a large smile. Taehyung smiled back and walked into the room.

“Oh my, you look like a young man now…” she said, standing up to properly greet her old student.

“Well, I am 21 now,” Taehyung joked, bowing like he did when he was younger. “I, uh, also saw this as I was walking in and couldn’t help but pick it for you.” His wide smile turned to a shy one as he extended his arm out, hand holding a dusty pink flower. Mrs. Fukuhara gasped, a laugh following shortly after. She reached out to grab it and Taehyung took a quick glance at her hand, seeing the beautiful pearl wedding ring he had seen on Facebook.

“Why thank you, Taehyung. I miss getting your daily flowers.” She went to the back of the classroom, filling a paint covered glass with water and dropping the flower in it. She walked back towards her desk, placing it carefully in the back corner, just behind her monitor.

“Now, let’s get down to business,” she started, pulling out a manila folder. It contained all the information Taehyung needed to get started. She explained that since the mural is going to be big, Taehyung may recruit volunteers. His materials can also be stored within the art classroom, so he doesn’t have to keep bringing them in and out of the school everyday.

“The school is paying you a lot of money for this mural,” Mrs. Fukuhara added, reminding him to act as if he were back in school. Taehyung nodded, understanding the rules placed upon him. “Now, go make art!” she joked, handing Taehyung the folder she was reading from. He left the classroom and headed towards the wall he would be working on for the next couple weeks.

–

“I’d also like to add that if any of you have an interest in helping with the school mural, go and see Mrs. Fukuhara. Thank you.” The loudspeaker shut off, leaving the class to buzz with casual conversation.

“School mural? What is she talking about?” someone asked. The teacher in the classroom stood, starting the class, paying no mind to the inquires about said mural. The class was hushed and Jungkook pulled his attention away from the window beside him to the front of the class. He tried to pay attention, but he couldn’t help but stare out the window. Today was not a day of concentration for Jungkook. He just wanted to retreat back into his room at home, lay in his bed, lights cut off, curtains closed. He sighed quietly, grabbing his pencil and marking down the homework.

A/N: do i end here? Is this even worth continuing? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i guess we’ll see

#taehyung #jungkook #bts #bangtan #taekook #fanfic #switch

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