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fatecantstopme · 1 year

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Better Together

Pairing: Rafael Barba x reader

Summary: Barba acts like he hates you because it's the only way he can keep his cool in your presence. Things come to a head and you call him out on it...

Warnings: cursing, Rafael is a bit of a dick at first. Use of nicknames (baby, cariño, querida, etc.). SMUT, oral (M and F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V)

A/N: Spanish translations in brackets/italics after each sentence.

cariño/querida: sweetheart/dear/darling/baby/etc.

por favor: please

qué: what

hermosa: beautiful/gorgeous

"Right...and what makes you qualified to make that determination?"

You glared at him. "Eight years of education and ten years of practice."

"Fine, but how long did you actually talk to him?" he countered.

"Four hours."

"So now you're an expert in his mental health?"

You groaned. "He belongs in a psychiatric facility, Barba. Not a prison."

"I disagree. He raped and murdered five women."

"I'm not defending his actions, but I'm telling you he's incapable of understanding the consequences of his actions."

"She's right, counselor," Olivia Benson cut in. "I got the same feeling she did when I first talked to him."

Rafael Barba let out an annoyed huff. "Fine. What do you propose?"

"Offer him a deal," she suggested. "Send him where he can get the help he needs."

Barba nodded, expression still slightly annoyed. "Fine." With that, he walked out of the precinct, presumably to go write up a deal.

As soon as he was out of ear shot, you turned to your friend and colleague. "He argues with me for ten minutes straight, but you tell him the same damn thing and he immediately agrees?"

Olivia shrugged. "You know how he is."

"Pompous, arrogant, rude, and downright insulting?"

She laughed. "All of the above, but he's also a pretty damn good ADA."

You sighed. "I would absolutely love to disagree with you, but you're not wrong. Part of me hates that he's so good at his job. And I hate his smug face and his attitude and those damn three piece suits he looks so goddamn good in," you finished your ramble with a groan.

"Maybe if you told him you thought he was hot, he'd be nicer to you," Olivia said with a wink.

"I hate you."

She laughed. "No you don't."

"Fine, I don't, but I will do no such thing. He quite clearly despises me."

"Does he?"

"Does who what?" Nick Amaro asked as he entered the squad room.

"Does Barba hate (Y/N)?" Olivia asked.

Nick chuckled. "Without a doubt."

"See?!" you said smugly.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "One of these days you're going to have to talk to him. Tell him off for being such an ass to you all the time."

"Now that I agree with," Nick cut in.

"If he pushes the right buttons, I will."

**********

Little did you know that two days later, Barba would push the exact right button.

Olivia, Nick, Amanda, Fin, and yourself were gathered in the squad room discussing your latest case. You had two dead girls in two days and 1PP was already breathing down your necks.

You were going over the profile with the team when Barba walked in. "I know it sounds crazy, guys, but I believe the perp is a girl...probably the same age as the victims."

"Why?" Fin asked.

As you started to explain your reasoning, to include the lack of sexual assault, the relationship between the two girls, and the anger clearly present in the attacks, Barba cut you off with a harsh laugh.

"You think a 10 year old girl is capable of inflicting that kind of trauma?" he interjected. "There's no way."

You took a deep breath in through your nose and exhaled from your mouth before responding. You needed those ten seconds to calm yourself so you didn't murder him. "Were you ever a 10 year old girl?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Obviously not."

"Are you a forensic psychologist?"

"Again, no."

"Have you been working violent sex crimes for 10 years?"

"No..."

"Then be quiet and listen," you finished harshly.

You'd never snapped at him quite so intensely before and he was taken aback. He was also very aware that he may have taken it a little too far this time. He'd made it a point to keep you at arm's length (or farther) for the past 6 months, and he was belatedly realizing he may have been too cruel.

You finished your profile, answering the questions posed by the rest of the squad, before everyone went about their assigned duties.

Barba announced he was going back to his office to update the DA and you were thankful to be rid of him.

"Maybe you were right, (Y/N)," Olivia said softly. "He either hates you or he hates shrinks."

"Likely both."

"I'm proud of you for clapping back," Amanda said warmly. "Someone's gotta put that guy in his place every once in a while."

You smiled mirthlessly. "Once this case is over, I may have more to say to him, but for now, let's focus on finding the person who killed those girls."

**********

Three days later and you had your suspect in custody. You'd been right in your assessment of the perp...it turned out to be a 10 year old girl who had been relentlessly teased and bullied by the two victims for an entire year. The girl finally snapped and killed them both in a blind rage.

After hearing all of the terrible things that had been done to her, you felt sorry for the girl. You understood why she'd killed those girls, even if you didn't condone it.

"Hey, (Y/N/N)," Fin called. "We're going out for drinks. My treat."

"I think I'll take a rain check guys...I've got something I need to do."

"Awww no fun," Amanda teased.

Olivia gave you a look, but you smiled at her reassuringly. She took it to mean you were okay, so she followed the others out.

You'd decided to pay a very special visit to a certain ADA...

You arrived at his office 20 minutes later, and you belatedly realized you probably should have checked to see if he was even there still. It was already after 6pm, but you hoped since he was a workaholic, he would be unaware of the late hour.

When you reached his office door, you found yourself taking a deep breath. You started to question yourself and whether this was a good idea, but then you thought about the way he'd been treating you and you got a burst of courage.

You knocked on his door and waited. You heard a slightly annoyed "Come in", so you opened the door and stepped into his office.

Barba looked up from the paperwork he was buried in, a look of surprise ghosting over his face. "Dr. (Y/L/N)...to what do I owe the pleasure?"

You shut the door behind you and took a step towards his desk. "Do you have a problem with me?"

"Excuse me?" he asked in surprise.

"Do you have a problem with me, specifically, or is it psychologists in general?"

"I don't have a problem with psychologists."

"So it's me, got it. Do you mind telling me what the hell I did to you?"

He had the grace to look sheepish. "You didn't do anything to me."

"Then why do you treat me like I'm some sort of imbecile?"

"I...I never intended to make you feel that way," he said honestly.

"Really? How did you intend to make me feel? You belittle me, insult my abilities and my intelligence, you're unnecessarily rude to me in front of my colleagues..." you trailed off.

He rose from his seat and came around the front of his desk. His expression was unreadable, but his shoulders had slumped slightly. If you didn't know better, you'd think he actually felt bad for the way he'd been treating you.

"You're right," he admitted. "I have treated you entirely unfairly."

It was your turn to look surprised. Out of all the things you'd expected him to say, an admission of guilt was certainly not one of them.

"I don't want you to think, for even a moment, that I don't think you're brilliant. You are the sharpest woman I have ever had the pleasure of meeting and you're downright phenomenal at your job."

You opened your mouth and closed it a few times before you could formulate a coherent response. "How in the hell was I supposed to know that?"

He blushed and cast his gaze to the floor. "I suppose there was no way for you to know, given the way I've treated you."

"Why, then?" you asked softly.

He sighed deeply and ran his hand over his face. "It's--complicated."

"Enlighten me, Barba. I've got time."

His green eyes raised back up to meet yours and you found yourself nearly breathless--and not for the first time. His eyes were beautiful, typically sparkling with whit and mischief; but in this moment, they shone with emotions so complex you couldn't begin to comprehend them.

"I never intended to be cruel to you, only distant. But I found that being aloof wasn't enough to keep you at bay--I needed something stronger. So...I started treating you as if I hated you. It was just easier, and perhaps safer."

"Safer?"

He nodded, but neglected to clarify. "Keeping you out of my life has become a necessity, Dr. (Y/L/N)."

His formality annoyed you, but you didn't comment on it. "Then why didn't you just tell me you didn't like me?"

He groaned and turned back to his desk to pour himself a glass of scotch. "Because it's not true, and I'm many things, but a liar isn't one of them."

"Okay, but you want nothing to do with me?"

"Exactly."

"You do understand how contradictory that sounds, correct?"

He took a long drink from his glass and leaned back against his desk. "It sounds moronic, yes, I am aware."

You debated your next words with care. You knew if you said what was on your mind, you might regret it, but you also knew if you didn't say it, you would regret it.

"When I met you, I was instantly intrigued by you," you began. "It was obvious you were highly intelligent, but you were also funny, charming, and impeccably well-dressed. It's a rare combination."

You crossed your arms and sighed. "At first, you were friendly and I quite liked you, but things between us turned icy in an instant. I didn't understand it then and I don't understand it now, but what I can tell you is it hurt me. It hurt me deeply, Barba, and it still does."

If he'd felt like an ass before, he felt 1,000 times worse now. "I never intended to hurt you," he said quietly. "You're a kind and loving soul...and you don't deserve to be treated the way I've been treating you."

"You're right," you whispered. "I don't."

He winced slightly and downed the rest of his scotch. "I am truly sorry, (Y/N). More than you'll ever know."

His use of your first name was not lost on you. You could count on one hand the number of times he'd said it and you'd reacted the same way each time. Your eyes fluttered closed for a moment, your breath caught, and your heart began to speed up.

Rafael had never noticed before...had never really paid attention to you the very few times he'd said your name, but he saw your reaction this time. For the first time since he'd met you, he began to wonder if you shared his feelings...

You quickly recovered yourself--praying he hadn't noticed. "I appreciate your apology." Your voice was slightly off pitch and you wanted to kick yourself for letting any emotion show.

"May I ask you something?" he said suddenly.

You nodded, not trusting your voice in the moment.

"You said what you thought of me when we first met--what do you think of me now?"

"Do you really want to know?"

He nodded.

You swallowed thickly. "Everything I said is true. You're a brilliant man and an even better lawyer...and you can be funny and charming, when you want to be. But that's not the Rafael Barba I get. I get the one reserved for the criminals and defense attorneys you dislike. The ones that make your skin crawl. You're pompous, arrogant, and cruel."

He closed his eyes tightly. Hearing you say what you really thought of him was much more painful than he'd anticipated.

"But I don't believe that's who you really are," you said so softly he almost didn't hear.

He looked back up at you in surprise.

"I think it's a facade you put up--a mask you wear to hide behind."

"What makes you think that?"

"Call it intuition, or perhaps training," you said with a shrug. "Either way, I am certain you really are the man I met in the beginning--not the man you've been the past several months."

"How could you have that much faith in me? After the way I've treated you..."

"Perhaps it's foolish...or maybe I just want it to be true."

He stared at you with a strange look on his face. It was as if he was trying to decide if you were playing him or being sincere. His expression slowly morphed as he realized you'd meant every word you'd said.

"May I be honest with you?" he asked.

"I want nothing less."

"Truthfully, I'm terrified of you. Absolutely, 100%, completely terrified."

Your jaw dropped slightly. Once again, he’d caught you off guard.

"You got under my skin the moment I met you and I haven't been able to get rid of you since. I've never felt like this--like I can't control my own actions or my emotions--and it's petrifying. I thought pushing you away would change how I felt, but it only intensified it. I think that's why I became crueler over time--I was angry at myself and angry with you for making me feel this way. It's not fair to you, I know, but it's the truth."

You were once again shocked to the core. You almost couldn't believe what you were hearing...if you weren't so good at reading people, you'd be convinced he was lying, but as it stood, you knew it was the raw, painful truth.

"You can't control everything, you know," you said quietly.

He laughed harshly. "God, how I wish I could."

"What are you so afraid of?"

He took a moment to answer, but once he did, the words poured out of him. "I'm afraid the way I feel about you will ruin both of our careers. I'm afraid that once you see the man behind the mask, you'll run and leave me broken. I'm afraid that we'll fall apart...that we won't stand the test of time. I'm afraid of falling so deeply in love with you that I lose myself completely. But most of all, I'm afraid that I've already screwed this up beyond repair."

For all your education and all the eloquent words you've learned in your lifetime, you found yourself stunned into complete and utter silence. No words came to mind, no coherent thoughts emerged. You stared at him and he stared at you, as the silence dragged on.

After what had to be an eternity, Rafael spoke again. "Please say something. Anything. Tell me you hate me. Tell me you never want to see my face again. Tell me you'd rather jump off a building than be with me--"

"Stop!" The intensity of your demand silenced him. "Just stop talking…I…I can't find the words I want to say, but I do know one thing: I'm not afraid."

Out of all the things you could have said, all the beautiful sentences you could have strung together, those three words were the perfect response. Fueled with sudden courage, Rafael crossed the space between the two of you in three long strides, coming to a stop a few inches from you.

With a shaking hand, he gently stroked your cheek. "May I?" he asked quietly.

Your pretty (y/e/c) eyes met his and you softly begged, "Please."

He leaned into you, lips pressing against yours with soft insistence. The kiss ignited something within you--a desire so deep and powerful it almost frightened you. You grabbed ahold of his suspenders and tugged his body closer to yours as you deepened the kiss.

Rafael moaned softly against your lips, tongue pressing forward, requesting access. You obliged, lips parting to allow him entry. His hands traveled down your soft curves until they landed on your hips. He used his gentle strength to pull you flush against him, his own body backed up against his desk to support him.

You could feel his need for you in his kiss, in his touch...and in his pants. His growing erection was pressed against you, so close to where you wanted him, yet so far away.

Rafael broke the kiss for a moment. "Carmen left for the day."

"Mhmm," you hummed in response.

"But I don't want our first time together to be on the couch in my office."

"How 'bout the desk?" you teased lightly.

He groaned. "Don't think I haven't imagined it, but I'd like to take you home...do this properly--in a bed."

You stared at him for a moment. "If we stay here, it can be casual, unassuming. If I go home with you...that changes everything."

"I don't want casual. I don't want a fling. I want you--and everything that comes along with that."

You studied him closely before responding. You noted the sincerity in his voice and his expression and decided to--for once--allow your heart to lead your decision. "Take me home, Rafael," you whispered.

He breathed deeply, as if trying to control himself. It appeared that you had the same effect on him as he did on you when you called him by his first name.

He didn't say a word--you weren't even sure he could have if he'd wanted to. He simply grabbed his jacket, took your hand, and practically dragged you to the elevator. Once outside, he hailed a cab and helped you into the backseat before sliding in beside you.

As the cab began to move, you rested your hand on Rafael's thigh. He glanced at you, but didn't say anything. You were feeling bold, so you slid your hand slowly up his thigh, inching closer to his evident arousal.

When your fingertips brushed against his clothed cock, he hissed slightly. He leaned over to whisper into your ear so the cab driver wouldn't hear. "Careful, querida. O puedo perder el control [Or I may lose control]."

You inhaled sharply--something about his tone mixed with the hushed Spanish words, sent a jolt of pure arousal straight to your core.

Your reaction didn't go unnoticed by Rafael. He smirked as he discovered one of your kinks. He tucked the knowledge away for later use.

You managed to behave yourself for the rest of the short ride to his apartment, but once inside the building, all bets were off.

His lips were on yours the moment the elevator doors slid closed, pressing your body firmly against the wall. Your fingers tangled in his hair, messing up the perfect locks.

As the elevator dinged and the doors began to open, you reluctantly pulled away from each other. You saw the desperation in his beautiful green eyes and you knew the same look reflected in yours.

He wasted no time guiding you to his apartment and the moment you were both inside, he had you spun around and pressed up against the door.

“Querida,” he whispered hungrily against your lips, fingertips dancing under your shirt.

You moaned softly as you tugged harshly on his suspenders, pushing them out of the way so you could remove his shirt.

Within moments, your clothes and his were strewn across the house as he carried you to his bedroom, nothing left between you but underwear.

Rafael tossed you gently onto the bed before climbing on top of you. He eyed you hungrily—sprawled out beneath him, desire evident on your face.

“You are perfect, hermosa.”

You blushed. “Rafa…”

He groaned. “Fuck. Don’t do that.”

Confusion clouded your expression. You didn’t think you’d done anything wrong…

He’d closed his eyes and his face gave away the internal struggle he was experiencing.

Realization suddenly crossed your features and you grinned. You gently raked your nails down his chest as you murmured the nickname again, “Rafa.”

His eyes shot open and he rutted his hips against yours, mouth pressing wet kisses to your heated skin. His teeth nipped at your neck and collarbone, leaving love bites in his wake.

He was taking his time with you. Wanting to explore every part of you, taste every inch of your skin, catalogue every detail in his mind.

You whimpered softly, not used to such attention, nor such deliberate slowness. “Rafael, please.”

He looked up at you with his trademark smirk. “You ever been with a Hispanic man before, Cariño?”

You blushed and shook your head.

His smirk widened. “We like to take our time, make sure our lady is properly loved and appreciated. This is about your enjoyment, (Y/N/N), not mine.”

“I want you to enjoy yourself too…”

He kissed you gently. “You keep making those pretty sounds for me, querida, and I promise you, I’ll enjoy myself.”

You found yourself unable to respond as he continued his slow descent towards your core. Each gentle caress of his lips against your skin seemed to set your nerve endings on fire--the need within you growing exponentially.

You whined prettily, hips shifting upwards, desperately seeking his lips where you needed them most. "Please," you begged.

You didn't know it yet, but Rafael would never deny you--not in the real world, nor the bedroom. The moment he heard your soft voice begging, he glanced up at your face. You already looked so far gone--your hair was a mess, your lips swollen, your cheeks flushed, and your breathing was ragged. He smiled to himself as he lowered his head, giving you no time to adjust as he dove into you with abandon.

You gasped as the pleasure threatened to overwhelm you. As skilled as the man between your legs was in the courtroom, he was even better suited with his mouth hungrily devouring you.

In the span of mere minutes, he'd turned you into a gasping, moaning mess--every one of your senses overwhelmed with feeling.

"Rafa--I--I'm close," you gasped.

He hummed against you, lips wrapping around your clit to increase his assault. His fingers dug into the flesh of your hips, holding you in place as he sped up his ministrations.

Your jaw dropped as a flurry of sounds--some of which were intended to be his name--slipped from your lips. Your orgasm sent wave after wave of intense pleasure through your body, but that pleasure soon turned to sensitivity.

"Rafa, too much--" you whispered as you tried to pull away from him.

He laid his arm across your lower belly, effectively holding you in place as his mouth continued to work you. His eyes flicked up to yours to check if you really did want him to stop, but your head was already thrown back, chest rising and falling rapidly as the familiar knot tightened in your stomach.

The moment your cries turned to moans and pleas to continue, Rafael stopped and lifted his head. "Did you want me to stop, querida?"

"No!" you cried loudly, fingers grasping his hair in an attempt to guide him back where you wanted him.

He smirked as he complied with your direction, lips and tongue once again sending you into a spiral of pleasure you'd never experienced before.

As you came down from your second high, Rafael finally slowed his assault and allowed you to pull his head up when it became too much.

He placed soft kisses against your heated skin, gently soothing you as the aftershocks shuddered through your body. His lips traced the curves of your face with gentle affection until your breathing had begun to normalize.

Rafael kissed you deeply, desire evident in the action. In response, your hand slowly descended down his chest and abdomen, until you reached his throbbing cock. You lightly ran your nails across the still clothed member, enticing a groan from the man above you.

You teased him for a few more seconds before sliding your hand beneath his boxer briefs and palming his cock in your warm hand. He groaned loudly--hips rutting against your hand instantly.

"I wanna taste you," you murmured against the shell of his ear.

"You don't have to..." he said softly.

There was something in his voice that caused you to pull away so you could see his face properly. He looked worried and perhaps a little apprehensive.

"But I want to," you reassured him.

"You do?"

You nodded. "It's something I enjoy very much, Rafa, so if you're okay with it, I would really like to suck your cock."

His eyes closed briefly and he moaned softly, forehead dropping against yours. "Por favor," he begged in a broken voice.

You grinned ear to ear. "Stand up."

"Qué?" he asked in confusion.

You nudged him gently and tilted your head towards the edge of the bed. "Stand up, handsome."

He did as you asked and watched in surprise as you lowered yourself to your knees on the floor in front of him. He felt like he needed to remind you again that you didn't need to do this for him, but when he saw the hunger in your eyes, he fell silent.

You slowly dragged his underwear down, freeing his cock from its constraints. You were a little surprised by his size--he was longer than average and quite thick--but surprise quickly turned to hunger.

You looked up at him, a playful smirk dancing on your lips, and all his worries faded away. It was obvious you wanted this...perhaps just as much as he did.

You wasted no time in wrapping your mouth around his cock, taking as much of him into your mouth as you could, eyes never leaving his face.

You gagged slightly as he hit the back of your throat, but you pushed past it, determined to provide him with as much pleasure as you could muster.

As you began to move, his fingers intertwined in your hair and his hips stuttered forwards occasionally. You knew what he needed, but it was clear he wasn't going to do it without some prodding.

You pulled off of him with a *pop* and waited until his heavily lidded eyes met yours. "Rafael, I want you to enjoy this."

"I am, cariño," he said in confusion.

"Not as much as you could be." You licked the tip of his cock for emphasis and his hips jumped slightly. "I want you to use my mouth for your own pleasure, Rafa. That's what it's there for."

He shook his head rapidly. He'd been expressly told not to do that by several women before you.

You rubbed his thighs reassuringly. "I want this, baby. Please," you begged. "Please fuck my mouth."

The moment the words were out of your mouth, you sucked his cock back into the warmth of your lips, hoping he would take you seriously. You pressed yourself forward, pushing past the gag reflex to take his entire member into your mouth.

Without hesitation, you began to guide his hips, urging him to give in and take what he wanted--what he needed.

You flicked your gaze up to meet his and nodded your head as best you could, hands still encouraging him to move. He very tentatively began to move his hips and you smiled, fingers digging into his thighs.

When you didn't pull away, he started to put a little more force into the movements. When you still didn't pull away, he sped up, fingers wrapping in your hair to keep you still.

You let him take control, eyes still trained on his face. He slowly began to thrust in earnest, fucking your mouth like it was his favorite place to be. You watched his head fall back, moans of intense pleasure leaving his lips.

You held onto him and focused on breathing as you let him use you. A few minutes passed before his hips began to stutter and you knew he was close.

You prepared to swallow everything he had to give you, but he surprised you by pulling away, your mouth coming off of him with a *pop*.

His breathing was ragged and his eyes were wild--pupils blocking out the brilliant green. "I need you," he said, voice raw and husky.

You understood his meaning and quickly crawled back onto the bed. He was on top of you almost immediately, lips latching onto your neck, teeth nipping at your flesh.

His cock rubbed against the outside of your pussy and you both groaned.

"Fuck," he mumbled. "Do I need a condom?"

"Pill," you gasped as you shook your head. "Wanna feel you fill me up, Rafa."

He let out a low growl and his eyes turned even more feral. He gave you no warning as he plunged his cock deep inside of you, stretching you in ways you'd never been stretched before.

"Rafael!" you cried out at the sensation.

Normally he would have forced himself to give you time to adjust, but his mind was too far gone. He set a brutal pace almost instantly and you were simply along for the ride.

There were so many new sensations that you were having a hard time staying focused. Everything just felt so incredible.

Your pussy throbbed around him, pulling him in even deeper. "Te sienetes muy bien, querida." [You feel so good, sweetheart.]

You moaned loudly, nails digging into his back as you arched against him.

"Te gusta cuando te hablo español, ¿no?" he growled into your ear. [You like it when I speak Spanish to you, don't you?"]

"Yes!" you gasped.

"Chica sucia," he chuckled darkly. [Dirty girl.]

"Rafa, please--I'm so close."

He groaned. "Quiero que vengas conmigo, cariño," he mumbled. [I want you to cum with me, sweetheart.] "Can you do that for me?" he asked in English.

You nodded your head rapidly.

"Esa es mi buena chica," he praised. [That's my good girl.]

You moaned lowly, preening at his praise. He smiled and picked up his pace, not wanting to stop until he felt you fall apart. "So close," he mumbled.

"Don't--stop!"

He knew you were close--could tell by the way your pussy fluttered around him--so he whispered, "Cum for me, baby."

You cried out as your orgasm hit you with more force than either of the two you'd had earlier. Rafael groaned your name as he spilled his seed within you, filling you up as your walls milked him dry.

You both began to come down from your highs, the intensity of your orgasms taking the wind out of both of you. Rafael pulled out and collapsed beside you, completely spent and satiated.

"That was pretty decent," you said between breaths.

He snapped his head in your direction and started to laugh when he saw the mischief in your eyes.

You grinned and joined in on his laughter, allowing him to wrap his arms around you and pull you closer to him.

"Very decent," he muttered against your hair.

You laughed again. "'Fucking incredible' would be a more accurate description."

"I couldn't agree more." He sighed softly. "I don't wanna move."

"Who says we have to?"

"We probably should...we do have work in the morning after all."

Your body tensed slightly and he felt it, realizing how his previous statement may have sounded. "I want you to stay, querida. I'm just saying we should probably get up and shower before we fall asleep."

You relaxed. "You may have to carry me."

He chuckled and dragged himself out of bed, pulling you along with him. He scooped you up despite your protests and carried you to the bathroom, placing you on the counter while he started the shower.

"I was kidding, Rafa!"

He smiled. "If my girl can walk immediately after sex, then I did something wrong. I'm always happy to carry you."

You smiled back at him, realizing he was completely serious. You watched him quietly, completely lost in thought.

"Where's your mind, querida?" he asked softly.

You shook your head, clearing your thoughts. "I'm happy...that's all."

Rafael kissed you gently. "Me too, hermosa. Now come on, let's get you cleaned up."

Once you were both clean and dry, he carried you back to his bed and laid you down gently before crawling into the bed beside you. He tugged you in closely against his chest and you sighed contentedly.

"Go to sleep, cariño. I'll be here in the morning when you wake up."

Somehow he seemed to know exactly what you needed to hear. Knowing he wasn't going anywhere and feeling his strong arms wrapped around you, allowed you to feel a calm peace you'd not felt in years.

Within minutes, you'd drifted off to sleep in his arms. Just before he fell asleep too, Rafael kissed the top of your head and whispered, "Te adoro con locura." [I adore you madly.]

#rafael barba x reader smut #rafael barba x reader #barba x reader #rafael barba smut #law and order svu #law and order svu smut

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megalony · 8 months

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Help A Girl Out

This is my first Nick Amaro imagine from Law and Order SVU. I hope you will all like it and I'm open for any Nick requests. Feedback is always appreciated.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz

Masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) often pops by the station to see her husband. But one afternoon, she turns up at the wrong moment and gets taken hostage.

Enjoy.

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A sigh burned past Nick's lips and he threw his head back over the back of his chair. His knees bumped into the edge of his desk and his left hand began to tap down against the arm of the chair while his other hand flipped the pen between his fingers.

He hated doing paperwork, especially when they hit dead ends like this and the cases seemed to go nowhere. He had the right mind to kick his feet up on his desk and try to catch up on some sleep. He had been working for over twenty-four hours straight now and he was desperate to go home to bed.

He let his eyes fall closed for a few seconds before he stared up at the ceiling. If he closed his eyes for too long he was liable to fall asleep on the job and he didn't need the headache that would cause.

"Nick,"

His neck cricked when he tilted his head forward to look over at Amanda. She was slouched forward over her desk, one hand tangled in her hair and the other hand splayed out on the desk. He watched the way she nodded her head and pointed ahead of her.

A grin pulled at his lips and the tiredness washed out of his face immediately when he cast a glance over his shoulder.

(Y/n).

He straightened up and hopped out of his seat, stretching his arms above his head before he moved across the floor. The smile stretched higher across his face the closer he got to her. It felt like forever since he'd last seen her, as if a lifetime had passed him by since he'd been at the station. Days and nights blurred together and shifts stretched on into eternity when they pulled all-nighters and went without sleep to try and catch their perps.

Nick could of stood there for hours, admiring his wife.

(Y/n) was stood in the doorway to the SVU lobby, leaning a little to one side so she didn't fully block the doorway or stand in people's way. Her hair was pinned back to one side but a few strands had fallen loose and fell to frame round her face and curl around her jaw.

Her heels clicked against the floor as she shifted her weight from foot to foot out of anxious habit. But it was the way she had her arms folded across her chest that made Nick smile. He wasn't sure why, but he loved the way she would curl her arms across herself like that and drag her fingers up and down her upper arms like that.

When her eyes locked with his, her lips curved into a grin and she stood a little straighter as he approached her.

"Hi," His voice was soft and oddly quiet against the rumbling background of heels clicking, voices shouting above the papers stacking on desks and the sound of doors slamming and hinges creaking.

Nick reached his hands out to cup her arms and he tugged her closer, moving her from the doorway so she was over the threshold. Her hands reached up to hold his shoulders and she dipped her head forward to press her lips against his neck while his hands moved down to cup her hips.

He squeezed her hips, scrunching his fingers around her dress that crumpled between his fingers and allowed the pads of his fingers to mesh into her waist.

"Everything okay?" He spoke in hushed whispers against the top of her head, rubbing his nose into her hair before he did a quick sweep around the room. No one was going to care if he disappeared for five minutes to talk to his wife. He hadn't seen her in almost two days, he was allowed to take a small break since she had come all the way down here for something.

"I need a favour,"

(Y/n) tilted her head up until her lips touched the underside of Nick's jaw that acted as a button, turning him to jelly in front of her. She felt his hands dig tighter into her waist and he stepped closer until his abdomen was pressed into hers and she could feel each deep breath he took.

She looked up at him, batting her lashes before he swooped down to steal a kiss. His lips were hot and heavy against hers and (Y/n) reached her hand up from his shoulder to cradle the side of his sharp jaw. She let her nail scrape along his chin, guessing he must have taken a moment to shave at some point during his long shift since he didn't have one trace of stubble anywhere.

"Go ahead," She could ask anything and the answer would always be yes, no matter what the favour was.

(Y/n) took a step back so she could slide her bag down from her shoulder to let it drop into the crook of her elbow. She let her eyes drift up to see the way Nick's smile morphed into a smirk that showed the intrigue wash over his face. He had no idea what she was about to take out of her bag or what kind of favour she was asking of him.

His lips rolled together and he bit the corner of his mouth when he saw what (Y/n) took out of her bag.

"Help a girl out, Amaro?" Her voice was so quiet and tender that Nick almost didn't hear her for a second or two.

He took the pre-filled and plastic-packaged needle from her hand and nodded. His arm moved to swoop around her waist and he reeled her into his side as he turned to face the middle of the room.

"Sure. This way, carino."

(Y/n) could feel his fingers gliding up and down her side like feathers tickling her skin through her dress. Her arms automatically moved back around her chest, resting over her bump while Nick guided her towards his desk. The seat was still warm when he motioned for her to sit down and she cast her eyes around quickly.

She knew who everyone was just by looking at them. She hadn't met anyone from the precinct in person yet but from how Nick talked about them and described them, (Y/n) could guess who they all were. And she figured they knew who she was when she looked at his desk and saw a photo of them both sat proudly on his desk.

Her attention moved back to Nick when he knelt down in front of her and turned the chair so she was facing him. He gave her knee a gentle squeeze and leaned his left arm to rest over her thighs that he parted so he could stand between them. A shiver rolled down her spine when he tore the packet open with his teeth and took out the needle.

"Can I?" He motioned his hand towards the hem of her dress and (Y/n)'s smile melted like butter.

Always the gentleman.

They were married. (Y/n) was asking for his help to take her insulin, and he was still asking for her permission to lift her dress so he could give her the injection.

Her lips pressed together to try and hide her smile and she nodded, trying to stay still and straight in the chair.

Nick held the hem of her sea green dress and slowly raked it over her thighs, relieved to see she was wearing a pair of small, grey shorts beneath her dress. He didn't feel like giving the whole squad room a view of his wife's underwear. He lifted her dress higher until it exposed her six-month bump that made his smile turn fonder.

He let her dress lay over her bump and didn't bother moving her shorts since they were tucked beneath her stomach anyway. They were getting rather tight since her stomach was expanding but (Y/n) didn't usually like to wear dresses without a short pair of shorts on underneath. Just in case.

"Ready?"

(Y/n) hummed and did her best to stay still when Nick pinched the side of her stomach between his thumb and finger. She let her eyes focus on his hair rather than his hands so she didn't have to see the needle. Needles were all well and good if they were used on someone else, but as soon as it was (Y/n)'s turn, she turned queasy.

She was slowly getting used to the slight scratch and the small burn it created and her heart fluttered when Nick brushed his thumb across the small dot on her skin when he removed the needle. He brushed away the tiny fleck of blood and leaned forward to kiss her stomach before he threw the needle in the bin beneath his desk.

"All done."

"Thank you," (Y/n) rolled her dress back down so it was draped across her thighs and her head lifted up to follow Nick when he stood up. She watched him move to sit on the edge of his desk and she felt his knee bump into hers while his arms folded over his chest and flexed his biceps.

"All good?" His head turned to look behind him at Amanda when she leaned forward with her pen trapped between her teeth. She didn't want to intrude but she just wanted to check everything was alright. In case Nick needed to go and take a break with (Y/n) for a while. This was the first time (Y/n) had come down to the station and Amanda wasn't expecting her to come here for that reason.

"I don't like needles," (Y/n) rubbed her hands together on her lap while she scooted the chair closer until her knees bumped into the desk and she could lean against Nick's leg.

"Blood clots?"

"Hm- oh, no, um, insulin. Oddly enough, the baby's decided to give me diabetes." (Y/n) smiled and leaned forward until she could perch her chin on her husband's knee. She felt his fingers feather across her shoulder and down her arm soothingly.

It hadn't been the best surprise when Nick took (Y/n) to an emergency appointment after she started going dizzy and coming down with shaking and feverish sweats. They found out she had gestational diabetes where she wasn't producing enough insulin due to the baby. There was a good chance she would be fine once the baby was born, they were hoping her body would go back to normal and sort itself out. Most women did.

But there was a chance of (Y/n) becoming diabetic after the baby was born and she prayed that wouldn't happen.

The medication to help her newfound condition didn't agree with (Y/n), it had made her violently sick and gave her horrid migraines. So the next solution when her levels didn't even out was to start taking insulin injections. But (Y/n) wasn't good at doing them herself.

Nick didn't mind.

He was all for being affectionate and helping his wife in any way he could and he had been giving her the injections every day. With him being at work for almost two days now, it meant he couldn't be there to help and (Y/n) thought she would come down to the station on the off-chance Nick might be here and could spare her a minute or two to help.

"That's rough," Amanda sank back in her chair and propped her feet up on her desk.

A gentle smile formed on (Y/n)'s lips as she tilted her head up to look at Nick while his hand feathered along her arm and around to her neck. She leaned her chin against his wrist and bit the corner of her lip.

"It's not so bad."

It meant she got to steal little moments like this every day with Nick and to see him smile down at her with that cheesy grin that made her heart flip. And they were getting a baby at the end of this, so it was more than worth the slight discomfort.

***

"Oh, hey (Y/n). Are you looking for Nick?"

A delicate smile pulled at (Y/n)'s lips as she dragged her right hand up and down her arm to try and stay calm. She treaded carefully over the threshold and made a beeline for the desk she knew was Nick's while her eyes looked around for Amanda.

She found the blonde approaching with a cup of coffee and she moved over to sit down at her desk opposite.

(Y/n) set her bag down on Nick's chair that was vacant aside from his dusty grey blazer jacket that was slung over the back of the chair. He hadn't gone far if he had left his jacket here, (Y/n) knew what he was like. He wouldn't go out without it as that was where he put his keys and his phone. It also helped to conceal his badge and gun, if needed.

"Yeah, well, I just thought I'd drop by and bring lunch." She slumped the paper bag down on Nick's desk and spent a few seconds scouting through her handbag. She made sure to quietly place Nick's badge on his desk near the desk phone, trying to do it quick so no one noticed. Nick hadn't been pleased when he had been in a rush to leave this morning and he couldn't find his badge.

(Y/n) found it an hour after he left and it gave her an excuse to bring lunch by the station for him. She knew what he was like, work came with pressure, new leads got in the way and before he knew it he had gone over ten hours without eating.

She reached into the paper bag and handed a wrapped sandwich out to Amanda. Her smile widened when Amanda just stared at her for a few seconds like she didn't know what (Y/n) was giving her, or why.

"For me?"

"Unless you're not hungry…"

"You, are a Godsend." Her face lit up with a grin when she took the sandwich offered out to her. Everyone would be willing to let (Y/n) hang around every day if she was this nice to them all. "Nick won't be long, he was just going to find some paperwork."

Moving her bag, (Y/n) let herself slump down into Nick's chair. She had managed to do her own insulin injections for the last few days but it was hard when she started to shake and it made her nervous. (Y/n) knew bringing Nick dinner would soften him up and give him a chance to have a break where she could ask if he wouldn't mind doing her injection again.

Her head tilted to the side and she slouched down a little to try and ease the discomfort in her back. Her hand moved to smooth over her stomach as she cast her eyes around the station.

It didn't seem as hectic today.

No one stood in a corner arguing and cursing to high heaven. No clattering people in handcuffs being moved from holding and dragged into the corridor. There weren't people hanging around arguing or being moved into separate interview rooms and no one was making a commotion.

It was oddly calm today. This was the kind of day Nick liked, where they could concentrate and finish paperwork and not have to worry about doing ten different jobs all at once.

"You okay?"

"Hm." (Y/n) managed a smile and nodded. She felt fine, she just had a headache which probably meant she would need to take her insulin soon. She usually had an injection after she had eaten, depending on how well her blood sugar levels were as they varied from day to day.

After a few minutes, just as Amanda finished her sandwich and went to look back through her paperwork, a loud clang rattled through the squad room and made all the distant chatter dwindle down.

(Y/n) leaned her head back and looked over her shoulder just as a large, burly man shouted "Don't touch me!" And flung his arm out at Olivia who was trying to guide him inside.

(Y/n) rolled her lips together and sighed as she turned back to face Nick's desk. That guy seemed the macho type, the kind of person who didn't like being told no or being ordered around or told to do something. She could see the way Amanda grimaced and visibly rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"I'll go see if Liv needs any help. Thanks for lunch," Her hand gave (Y/n)'s shoulder a squeeze as she walked past. They didn't need a scene being caused when today had been a calm, laid back kind of day. And Amanda knew the guy Olivia had brought into the squad room. He was rather hard to talk to and calm down and he was their main suspect in their newest rape case.

Sitting forward, (Y/n) clicked her back into place and danced her fingertips over the photo frame on the side of Nick's desk. He had one of them on their wedding day, and one of him and Zara that (Y/n) had taken.

Her hand moved across to her temple again when she felt her headache getting worse.

Maybe it would be worth her going to get a drink while she waited for her husband to get back.

She kicked her bag a little further beneath Nick's desk so no one would see it and try to run off with it. Not that anyone would get a chance when there were officers mulling about the place and Finn was sat at his desk a few feet away.

The blood seemed to rush down to her feet when she stood up and she had to take a moment to control herself and stop from letting her head loll forward and stop her knees from giving way. Her legs trembled but after a few paces, (Y/n) felt like she was herself again and the blood was circulating properly through her body. She would need to get her insulin soon though in case that was making her feel worse. She had eaten her lunch already and usually needed insulin after eating.

Nick dragged his fingers through his tousled hair and looked down at his phone just as the lift chimed and the doors opened up. He scrolled down through his phone but he only took two steps out the lift before he looked up and felt the tiredness washing out of his system completely.

"Carino," His lips curved up into a wide grin and he slipped his phone in his back pocket as his eyes set on his wife.

He was getting rather lucky these past two weeks with (Y/n) appearing at the station. It meant he didn't always have to slump at his desk and daydream about going home to see her. He didn't have to frown or grow tiresome, he just had to look up every now and then and she turned up and brightened his day and his mood.

His arms swooped around her the moment she was within reach and he pulled her to the side out the way of the oncoming people passing up and down the hall. A shiver rolled down his spine when (Y/n)'s cold hands pressed against his neck and slithered beneath the collar of his shirt.

She tugged him down until he was close enough to kiss and he could taste the sweet tea remnants on her lips.

"You both okay?" His left hand splayed out on her lower back wile he slipped his right hand between them to cradle her stomach. It was as if the baby knew exactly where they were. Nick stroked his thumb across her shirt when he felt a small kick against the palm of his hand.

"Hm. I found your badge, it's on your desk along with dinner." (Y/n) smoothed one hand down Nick's chest, tapping her fingers over his shirt beneath his tie that she wanted to take off.

"Oh, thank you," He murmured against her lips and he sank his teeth down into her bottom lip just to feel her jump and grab at his neck. "Shall we?"

"I just need the toilet."

Nick moved his hand round to squeeze (Y/n)'s hip and let his lips linger over hers for a few extra seconds before he finally let her go. He attached his lips to the side of her neck as she moved to walk past him and he felt her squeeze his shoulder as they moved in different ways.

He watched her round the corner before he moved into the squad room. His eyes landed on his desk straight away and he made a beeline towards it. He noticed the large paper bag on his desk before his sight shifted over to his badge in front of the picture of him and Zara.

Nick clipped the badge onto the waistband of his trousers over his belt. He didn't have time to find it this morning, he had been running late and it annoyed him whenever he put something down and went back later and couldn't find it. At least (Y/n) had found it for him, and a smile danced across Nick's lips at the thought of (Y/n) using it as an excuse to come down to the station and see him.

His hand drifted into the paper bag but he barely managed to peak his head inside to see what (Y/n) had brought before he stopped.

Someone was shouting.

Raised voices. Olivia and Amanda were shouting. A man was raising his voice and bellowing something so loud and fast Nick couldn't work out what he was saying.

The sound of more yelling and someone saying 'drop the weapon' made a shiver bolt down Nick's spine. He tilted his head to the left and glanced over at Finn who was already pushing up to go and see what the commotion was.

A sigh blundered past Nick's lips as he moved away from his desk and jogged out the squad room into the corridor. He needed to get near the toilets and make sure (Y/n) didn't come out into whatever situation was happening out here.

It felt like Nick rounded the corner at the exact wrong time.

The air got caught in his lungs and stones started to drop down to the pit of his stomach.

Drew. Their prime suspect in their current case.

Everything happened in slow motion. No one had chance to try and grab him, all they could do was stand near the other end of the corridor to block off his exit, but it didn't do much good. The toilet door opened at the very worst time and Nick immediately knew who it would be.

Nick ran forward but he wasn't quick enough to do anything. He was too far away and his heart physically clenched in his chest when he saw (Y/n) open the door. Before Nick could grab her attention or shout at her to close the door, Drew, their suspect, grabbed (Y/n).

He almost pushed her to the floor with the way he scrambled to grab her before someone could grab him. He was clearly thinking off the top of his head and muddling through this as he went along. One hand fisted in the back of (Y/n)'s hair and he used her hair as leverage to drag her out of the doorway and out into the corridor.

A panicked cry flew past (Y/n)'s lips and she reached out to try and dig her nails into whoever had suddenly pounced on her.

She tripped over her feet and her right arm spasmed when her elbow collided with the wall. Panic surged through her chest and she choked on her shallow breaths when she was dragged, stumbling out into the corridor. Stars danced across her eyes and her knees almost buckled if it wasn't for the hand screwed up in her hair.

But as soon as she stopped wobbling, the hand left her hair and a forearm pinned around the front of her throat. Her back slammed up into someone's rough chest and the back of her head bashed into his shoulder.

Tears welled up in the corner of (Y/n)'s eyes when she felt the barrell of a gun press into the right side of her temple.

Oh dear.

He had a gun. He was now keeping (Y/n) as a hostage. Why had he decided to grab her of all people? Why was he doing this on the day (Y/n) had come into the station? Why didn't she head back into the squad room with Nick where she would have been safe?

"Drop the gun Drew. Now!" As fast as anything, Nick unclipped the gun from his belt and aimed it at Drew, but he couldn't get a clear shot. Not with his wife in the way.

He tried to take a few steps closer as his shoulders hunched up and his elbows locked in place. He could feel Finn hovering close beside him, his own gun aimed out ready to take an emergency shot if needed. Both Olivia and Amanda were stood on the other side of the corridor, blocking off Drew's exit so at least he had nowhere to try and take (Y/n).

"Drop it!" Nick raised his voice and moved the gun to aim it at Drew's head, but it didn't phase him in the way he wanted it to.

"No! I think I'll keep her as insurance. So why don't you all back off?"

Leaning back, (Y/n) tried to tilt her head a bit higher to make it easier to breathe. And she dug her nails into the arm strapped around her neck like an iron bar.

It took a few seconds for her eyes to land on her husband but when they did, she could feel herself beginning to shake.

Nick looked frightening. Shoulders hunched up and tense, arms popping through his shirt. Gun aimed at the man behind her. His nose was crinkled and his upper lip was curled up in anger but it was the look in his eyes that made (Y/n)'s knees go weak. If looks could kill she would have been safe and back in his arms by now.

"Let her go. We can work something out, but you need to let her go." Olivia tried to get Drew's attention and when he looked at her, it let Nick get two feet closer towards them.

(Y/n) tried to stop the tears that were starting to fall down her face but she couldn't seem to help it. Shakes were rattling through her body now and she knew the man behind her could feel how badly she was starting to tremble. It made him tighten his arm around her neck which in turn made (Y/n) gasp.

She tilted her head forward until her chin was pressing down into Drew's forearm and her eyes stayed locked on her husband.

Nick held his other hand out in front of him and rose his brows, trying to keep his expression calm but it was hard to hide the anger pulsing through him. He needed to try and stay calm so (Y/n) didn't go into a panic attack.

He had to protect his wife.

"How about you let me walk out of here with her… or she gets a bullet."

(Y/n)'s knees quivered when the gun moved away from her head and suddenly pressed into the right side of her stomach. He had figured out she was pregnant.

Her teeth sank down into her bottom lip as she tried to keep her eyes on Nick and stay calm. Crying wasn't going to do anything to help their situation and she had to keep focused. But it was hard when the gun pressed deeper into her side and the uncomfortable feeling made her try and move to the left. It was bad enough that her headache had come back with vengeance and her body was ransacked with trembles.

Now the baby was starting to twist and kick and (Y/n) wanted to be sick. And she could see how Nick's stance changed, he straightened up and aimed his gun at Drew's temple. Both his wife and unborn child were now being threatened. Nick wasn't going to stand around and let Drew make demands and try to get away from this.

"If you do anything to hurt her, we can't help you. Let her go, and you can still walk away from this."

"And the rape charges, you can drop those and help me with that, can you?"

Nick's eyes narrowed when he looked across at (Y/n). He waited until Drew twisted to the side to look at Olivia who seemed to be trying to control the negotiations. Nick tilted his head to the side and parted his lips, trying to silently ask (Y/n) what was wrong. He could see the way her expression changed and she started to shake her head.

She tried to move one hand down near her stomach while Drew was occupied looking over at Olivia. And she pressed her index finger into her stomach a few times to try and get her silent message across.

She needed her insulin.

She didn't feel well. The headache and the shaking was most likely because she was lacking her injection and if she didn't get it soon, she was going to go into a hypo state.

"Drew, you'll go to court for those charges. You can convince a jury you're innocent, we can talk to the witnesses, see what we can do. But you have a whole station full of witnesses here. I'm sure no one would make a complaint if you let her go now, but if you hurt her, you won't even get a trial."

He had a chance. He had a chance to convince a jury that he was innocent, even if no one here believed him and they knew he was guilty. He still had a fighting chance if he got a good lawyer and that was all he could get. They needed Drew to see that hurting (Y/n) was going to cement his time in prison and he had witnesses this time. If he hurt her, he wouldn't get away with it but if he let her go, no one was liable to press charges. At least, they needed him to think that way so he wouldn't do anything rash.

"Let her walk me to the door. No police, none of you following us, then I'll let her go."

"We can't do that Drew." Nick spoke before Olivia had the chance to agree or try to negotiate again.

He saw the look of terror in his wife's eyes and there was not a chance in Hell that Nick would let her out of his sight. He wasn't letting Drew try and take her hostage because he didn't believe Drew wouldn't hurt her in some way. He might try and get her out the building with him to make a better escape. That wasn't happening.

"Then I'll hurt her!"

"Nick-" (Y/n) snapped her eyes closed and dug her nails harshly into the arm around her neck when he rammed the gun into the side of her stomach. She knew she should be thankful he didn't pull the trigger on purpose or by mistake. But the blow was harsh and so sudden it took all the air from her lungs and left her gasping as he held her up by the arm around her throat.

"No! Drew don't- you don't need to hurt her okay? Don't!" Nick held his free hand out in front of him and took a step closer before he could stop himself.

He could feel Finn try to grab his shoulder but he shook him off. This was his family and he didn't care whether Drew found that out or not. He just wanted to keep them safe.

"I- I… feel sick." (Y/n) leaned her head forward and tried to pull on the arm around her neck. She felt like she was going to faint and now he'd hit her, her stomach was suddenly churning along with the baby turning around. If she didn't throw up she was definitely going to collapse soon without her insulin.

"We're leaving. Now."

A strangled sound left (Y/n)'s lips and she let her knees buckle so he wouldn't be able to move her so easily. She wasn't going anywhere. She wanted to be sick. Her body was giving out and she needed him to let her go.

Her fingers scratched down his arm and she pulled as harshly as she could while she moved down.

Whatever he shouted into her hair made her cringe and cower down but she couldn't work out what he was saying. Static built up in her ears that became overpowered by the sound of her blood rushing through her ears. Her head was pounding and throbbing and weighed forward.

(Y/n) let her arms coil around her waist and she tipped her head down when she felt people closing in around them.

"Drop the gun!"

Before Drew could try and heave her up to her feet again, Nick bolted forward. He grabbed Drew's wrist and twisted it round to the left until he heard a successful click and the gun dropped down to the floor. Amanda swiftly tossed the gun to the other side of the corridor where an officer moved to pick it up while Nick slammed his elbow down between Drew's shoulders and pushed him onto his stomach on the floor.

(Y/n) couldn't tell who it was who grabbed her elbows and helped to shuffle her forward but she swatted her hands out either way. She didn't want them touching her. She didn't want to move. She wanted to go to sleep. She was ready to power down and forget this had ever happened.

Nick clamped his hand down on the back of Drew's head and bashed his face forward into the floor until his nose cracked and blood started to pour down his face.

"Cuff him!" He shrugged off the hands trying to pull him back. He wouldn't do anything else, he wouldn't jeopardise getting Drew sent down for this, he just had to do something that would cause Drew the kind of pain he had put (Y/n) through.

His chest heaved and sweat rolled down the back of his neck as he moved away from Drew who had his hands pinned to his lower back so they could cuff him and get him moved.

Nick turned his attention away while his chest heaved and he moved to kneel down next to (Y/n). She had her arms pinned near her head so she could get Amanda and Finn to let her go. She swatted her hands out and cried out until they got the message. (Y/n) didn't want any of them. The only person she wanted was Nick.

"Carino… carino, baby it's me. It's okay." Once his voice registered in her ears, Nick moved his arms out for her.

He wrapped his arm around her back and moved his other hand to cradle the back of her head. His lips smothered her cheek as he rested his chin on her shoulder and pulled her into his chest. The way she grabbed his bicep with a sudden fierce grip made him jump but he didn't say anything. He reeled her into his chest and curled around her like a safety blanket.

"Alright, shh. Let's get you up carino."

Both (Y/n)'s arms wrapped around Nick's bicep and she buried her face in his shoulder and pressed her side up into his chest until he curled back around her. She let him gently pull her up to her feet and his hand clamped down on her hip to keep her standing upright when she wavered in his arms.

He moved his lips to the back of her head while his hand started to glide up and down her arm like feathers brushing against her skin.

"Call a bus." Nick glanced over at Amanda who nodded and grabbed the radio on her waist.

"Home," (Y/n) tilted her head back to look up at Nick and for a brief moment, she saw a smile flicker across his face. He flashed his teeth and shook his head as a breathless chuckle left his lips.

"No carino, I'm not taking you home. We're going to hospital, for you and for me. I think I've had a heart attack." He spoke into the top of her hair as he gently guided her towards the squad room. He was relieved his desk was close by and he kicked the chair round so he could ease (Y/n) to sit down.

Nick tried to pull back but he couldn't exactly move when (Y/n) dug her fingers into his bicep and pulled on his arm. She kept his right arm pinned around her chest until Nick sighed and leaned over. He curved his left arm back around her waist just below her shoulder blades and carefully rested his hand on her stomach. He didn't know whether to touch her stomach or not in case he hurt her, but when she didn't wince, he left his hand there to feel the baby move.

She could feel him kissing the top of her head and she kept his right arm bound against her chest with her temple pressed into his shoulder. Nick stayed stood up beside his desk chair and leaned over so he was curled around his wife.

He knew from a different angle he looked rather weird and odd, leaning over like this with his lower back and bum arched out. But he didn't care. As long as he made (Y/n) feel safe and kept her calm, he would stay hunched over her like this until the paramedics arrived.

"D-don't let go."

"I'm not going anywhere carino." He spoke quietly into her hair and he realised he was slowly swaying them from side to side. "I gotta give you your insulin soon, don't I?"

#law and order svu #law and order #nick amaro #nick amaro imagine #nick x reader #nick amaro x reader #olivia benson #imagine #pregnant! reader #pregnancy

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storiesofsvu · 4 months

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Amanda Rolins x reader (brief mentions of Amanda x Nick) Warnings: language, alcohol consumption, it's hurt/comfort but mainly fluff, if that makes sense? LOL. This has been sitting in the drafts for a very long time and I think was a tipsy idea while watching old svu ideas that got jotted down and then added to bit by bit. I'm not sure if I'm totally happy with it, but I was determined to finish it and this is what we're left with. Basically Amanda deserves all the proper love and affection. The end.

You’d had a thing for Amanda for a while, it started out as a physical attraction that morphed into friendship, someone you enjoyed spending time with, someone you didn’t mind getting trapped in a car on stakeouts with. You shared interests, had similar coffee tastes, were both dog people, preferred take out to cooking and could spend hours watching trashy reality television. All it took was one night at a bar with a few too many beers and a few of your favourite songs on the dance floor to lead to a hot and heavy make out session that ended tangled in the sheets of Amanda’s bed.

When it happened a second time she felt a little bad, letting you know that while she was being safe, you weren’t the only person she was sleeping with. In return you let out a small laugh, telling her that it was clear as day her and Nick had something going on and you had no concern if she was hooking up with him too. With that conversation out of the way you were free to continue on with your random casual nights together. Some nights you’d end up with Amanda, others you’d go home alone and sometimes you’d find your own fun elsewhere, there were no hard feelings or sense of jealousy between either of you.

You slowly watched as Amanada started to slip under Amaro’s charm spell, ever the girl who wanted to be the fixer, the problem solver, do it on her own big sister. As his parenting relationship with Maria got worse her desire to be the one to help him through it grew, wanting to be there when he needed someone, no matter what the context was. Some nights he wanted to drink, to vent, talk things through with someone who could stay somewhat neutral and not argue with everything he said. Some nights he wanted to just forget and those were the ones he always went to Amanda for. The deeper he sank, the more entangled she became and he pulled her right down with him.

When it came to your relationship with Amanda, you truly never cared, even if she was leaving your living room because he called. The night he showed up at Amanda’s when you were there you were the first one to pour him a drink and toss him a smoke, reminding him how much relationships can suck. You continued to be Amanda’s friend, trying to support her through the entire ordeal while she was giving Nick her all and letting herself derail in the process.

“Thanks for meeting me.” She huffed, sliding into the bar stool beside you and you could tell she was pissed.

“Don’t worry about it. What’s up?” You asked, sliding her a shot that she threw back faster than you’d expected.

“Fucking Nick.” She grumbled, signalling the bartender for another round, “I get that he’s going through it but isn’t he supposed to be arguing with Maria?”

“’Manda…” you cautiously warned, “is he taking this shit out on you now?”

“He’s not doing it on purpose.” She defended, “he’s just so fucking irritable now. Everything’s an argument, he either wants to drink in silence or fuck.”

“I think it might be time for you to step back, let him cope on his own.”

“No, it’s fine. He needs someone to talk to and I know I can get through to him, I just need a little bit longer, really get under his skin.”

“Then maybe try to do it without pushing all his buttons?” You offered and she rolled her eyes, only half offended.

“It’s the easiest way to get him actually talking, I thought maybe a different emotion would come through this time.”

“Just be careful okay. I don’t want you getting too deeply wrapped up in all this and then end up being the one licking her own wounds afterwards.”

“I’m a tough kid,” she shot you a grin, “I can handle it.” Her phone buzzed on the bar top and she let out a sigh, throwing back another shot of whiskey before scooping up the device, “duty calls.”

You watched her pick up the phone as she disappeared out of the bar and let out your own sigh, wondering if you were going to be down a friend by the time all of this sorted itself out.

Two months later and you didn’t have much left to wonder about as Nick was gone, leaving the squad to relocate across the country in LA with his new family. You’d watched Amanda when he made the announcement to the team but she didn’t even flinch, a soft smile on her face knowing that he would be happier out West. His last few weeks it was as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, the stress evaporating as he finally found where he truly belonged.

Amanda felt lighter too, that sense of having to consistently check in and make sure someone was okay floating away with the summer breeze. She was able to relax, get up early enough to spend her mornings running through the park with Frannie and finally catch up on all the reality tv she’d missed. And this time the evenings on your couch were free from any and all interruptions. She wasn’t sad, she knew that everything happened for a reason and that her situationship with Nick had an end date all along, but there was a part of her that missed her friend, her work partner and that was what you could feel floating off of her.

She hadn’t been mopey about it at all, but there was still a sense of melancholy in the air as the commercial break played. Your arm was strewn across the back of the couch, Amanda tucked into your side, letting out a little sigh as she relaxed deeper into the embrace. You instinctively pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head,

“You wanna talk?”

“No.” She mumbled back, “I’m fine, swear. Just been kinda moody recently, dunno why.”

“You’re allowed.” You replied, your arm squeezing her softly before your finger curled under her chin, tilting her face up to yours, “you want me to help you forget?”

“Yeah?” Her brow raised in your direction, a gleam in her eyes as her lips curved up into a grin, “what’ve you got in mind?”

“Well…” you leant down, pressing your lips to hers, your teeth nipping at her lower lip, smirking at the way her breath caught in her throat, “I was thinking for starters that I could fuck you so good you wouldn’t even remember he existed.”

Amanda laughed softly, catching your lips in another kiss, “I certainly like the sound of that.” It only took a moment before your tongue slipped into her mouth as you caged her into the couch, a hand already creeping under her shirt and the television (among other things) were long forgotten.

And just like that your sexual affair with Amanda was sparked right back up again, your relationship skyrocketing from barely seeing each other to spending practically every night tangled in each others bedsheets. Though there was something different this time, nothing was holding either of you back, there were no other outside players, you spent nearly all of your time together now. Partnered up at work meant your days were spent together, the pure carnal desire for sex meant nights were shared, and what was left was evenings to devour takeout on the couch while the tv played and coffee in the park with Frannie on weekend mornings. Amanda would often catch herself with a dopey smile on her cheeks while she watched just how comfortable you were in her home. How you treated it like your own, you never had to ask questions, you just new exactly where everything was. A warmth would bloom in her chest every time your hand found hers, glancing up to catch the soft smile on your cheeks before you’d make a kissy face in her direction.

Not only was she finally starting to feel whole again, she knew that the reason was you, that you were the one who had been making her whole all along. She wasn’t quite sure what real love felt like, but she was certain it had to feel something like this, you were always there for her, you supported her in whatever dreams she wanted to explore, you helped ground her when she needed to be brought back to earth. You made her inescapably happy and she was noticeably more relaxed and joyful whenever you were around. She couldn’t be totally sure without asking you, but she was pretty confident that you shared similar feelings by the way you’d let out a small laugh and you cheeks would tinge whenever she caught you staring at her.

Amanda wanted you, that was for certain, and she wanted a future with you, to face life together as a team, grow old with you and spend the rest of her life happier than she ever had expected. But she suddenly had a piece of baggage that was a very big deal breaker and that’s why her heart was pounding out of her chest when she finally summoned the courage to knock on your apartment door.

“Hey.” You greeted as you pulled the door open, “didn’t expect to see you tonight, it’s late.” You stepped back to let her into the apartment and Amanda felt frozen on her feet, completely unable to move as she let out a shuddering breath and you noticed the tears in her eyes. “Whoa, what’s going on? Are you okay?”

Amanda shrugged, flailing her hands as she did her best to keep her emotions inside, her lip quivering as it attempted to all spill out.

“C’mere.” Your voice was impeccably soft as you wrapped an arm around her shoulders, guiding her into the apartment and over to the couch. “You wanna drink? I’ve got an open bottle of pinot.”

She shook her head and you dropped down onto the couch beside her, your hand finding hers, linking your fingers as your thumb stroked across her knuckles. She took a minute, taking deep breaths to try and calm herself down and once she was sure she wasn’t about to burst into tears she finally looked up at you.

“I fucked up.” She admitted, a tear escaping to glide over her cheek. You were quick to reach out, wiping it away as you cupped her cheek, your thumb stroking soothingly. The tenderness made her heart swell even more and she let out a shaky sigh, “I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you and instead of having the balls to say it I screw it all up like I screw everything up.”

“Amanda…” you started softly, a warmth beaming from your eyes toward her as you squeezed at her hands, “you didn’t have to say it, and I doubt you’ve screwed anything up, just talk to me.”

“I want to be with you, this is so much more than just sex to me and that alone is scary enough.”

“It doesn’t have to be, because it’s always been more than just sex, we were both too nervous to admit it.”

Amanda sniffled, wiping away another tear, “fuck.”

“What’s going on Amanda? I adore you; I want to be with you too, I see a future with you, a future of us, I even referred to you as my girlfriend earlier this week so I don’t see what the problem is. We practically live together already and—”

“I’m pregnant.”

She had to get it out before you listed another ten reasons that you were perfect for her, that you would be perfect together, she couldn’t bear to hear all of that only to have you walk away in the end. She risked a glance up, her teary eyes meeting yours as your head tilted slightly.

“Oh. Okay,” your voice somehow got even softer, “have you thought about what you want to do?” You asked, your thumb continuing to soothingly brush over her knuckles.

Amanda took a breath, ducking her gaze, “I can’t just get rid of it, no matter how hard I try to think about it, that’s just not me and once it’s born I don’t think I’d be able to give a baby away.”

“Have you been to the doctor yet? My sister’s OB was fantastic, we could set up an appointment next week.” It was Amanda’s turn to look up at you with a quizzical expression on her face, watching as you glanced around your apartment, lower lip tugged into your mouth, “your place is bigger, extra bedroom and all, I’ll talk to my landlord about getting out of my lease.”

“Wait, what?” She asked and you looked back towards her.

“A newborn’s a lot of work, I’d want to be around as much as possible and like I said we practically live together already, why bother renting two places?”

“I’m confused…” she admitted with a small laugh, “I thought you were going to break up with me, not suggest moving in together.”

“Why would I break up with you?”

“You said you didn’t want kids…” She shrugged and it was your turn to let out a little laugh.

“So did you.” You squeezed at her hand, “but surprises happen and this can be a little happy one for us. I wasn’t adamant on not having kids, they just weren’t a big priority for me.”

Amanda chewed on her lip, her hands fidgeting in her lap as she tried to make sense of everything flying through her head at the moment, “but why change your mind for me?”

“I didn’t change my mind per say, life just presented me with an opportunity and I’m choosing to take it, because I want to, and I want to be with you, because I’m in love with you.”

“Really?” Her eyes were wide when she looked up at you and you giggled, the warm smile remaining on your cheeks.

“Of course I do, you doof. C’mere,” you tugged on her hand, effectively pulling her into your lap and she let out a little surprised squeal as her knees settled on either side of your legs. One of your arms wrapped around her, the other cupping her cheek, “you’ve always been my best friend, and I’ve always loved you like that. I’ll admit I was a little scared of falling in love with you another way and losing what we had, but it looks like that was the perfect thing to let myself do because I love what we have now, what we will have in the future.”

“I love you too.” She finally uttered the words and felt a weight lifted off her chest, a small smile breaking onto her cheeks and you leant up, kissing her softly. Amanda melted into you, her hands looping around your shoulders as your lips moved with grace together. You barely pulled away from the kiss, her forehead resting on yours as you kissed the tip of her nose and she let out a happy hum. “You make me so fucking happy, happier than I ever thought I could be, and I never thought I was gonna find something like that.” This time the tears blurring her eyes were ones of joy and they matched the ones forming in your eyes.

“And now you’ve got even more than that,” you smiled, “because we’re having a baby.”

“We’re having a baby.” She replied in a whisper, a smile etched permanently across her feature and she laughed softly as you stole another kiss. “Are you still gonna love me when I look like a beached whale?”

“Of course, I’ll even rub your feet and hand feed you grapes.”

“Promise?” She asked with a grin and you laughed, kissing her once more.

“Cross my heart.”

The warmth Amanda felt blooming through her was like nothing she’d ever felt before and she knew that in that moment she was exactly who she was meant to be, and exactly where she was meant to be. She knew she was safe, cared for, she had someone who had her back and always would, someone who loved her and truly meant it when they said it. She felt at peace, and most importantly, at home.

Because being anywhere with you meant she was home. You were her home, and that was all she needed.

____________________

@mickey-gomez @hbkpop @bisexualcrowley @red1culous @imlike-so-gaydude @altsvu @lesbianspacecowboy @wannabe-fic-reader @gaylorrds @beccabarba @mysticfalls01 @alexbllake @infernumlilith @australiancarisi @wandas-wife @emskisworld @samwithnoplan @multifandomlesbianic @sia2raw @dxtery @anlin2058 @itisdoctortoyousir @alexxavicry @daddy-heather-dunbar @evilregal2002 @7thavenger @m00nkn1ghts @sapphicprentiss @geekyandgay98 @onmykneesformarvel @desperate-gay @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @noahrex @temp0rary-bliss @wittygutsy

#amanda rollins #amanda rollins x reader #law and order svu #svu #law and order #law and order special victims unit #home

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x-bluefire-heart-x · 11 months

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Our Family

Alright so a surprise for me and everyone else. I am managing to post today! I had a little gap between my little celebrations and since I managed to do most of my editing and reviewing of this piece yesterday I am able to quickly post this before I go for drinks!

@autumntheblogger requested a fic with Female Benson reader who adopts Noah, and Rafael is the surrogate dad. So, I hope you enjoy and that is something like what you were after!

So, the gif doesn't really have anything to do with the story I just liked it....

Warnings: None.

Master List

Prompt List

Forever and Always

You woke up in the middle of the night, expecting to hear the cries of little Noah as you had the past several nights. But you heard nothing, there was no crying. Sitting up you looked around in confusion, mind still half asleep. Running a hand through your hair you turned to look at your bed partner, your brows furrowed in further confusion seeing the bed empty beside you. The sheets were still warm. There was no light coming from the ensuite, so he wasn’t there. You pouted a little as you got up from bed, determined to hunt him down. You paused to check in on Noah, noticing that the crib was empty.

“Huh,” you muttered.

You slowly walked down the hallway rubbing sleep from your eyes which widened at the sight that you stumbled upon in your loungeroom. The sight answered both mysteries of the night, the absence of Rafael from your bed, and the lack of Noah’s crying. Rafael stood in the middle of the loungeroom, bouncing lightly on his feet holding Noah to his chest as he softly sang to the little boy, the Spanish lullaby soothing him back to sleep. Noah had grown a lot in the year that you had fostered him, it had been just under two months since you officially adopted him, but he still looked tiny in Rafael’s arms. You leaned against the wall, your heart melting at the sight of your two boys. You had been weary about dating Rafael when he first showed interest, you had first met the man when you went to the SVU squad room with the intention to drag your sister out for lunch, it had been a while since you had seen her.

“Well, if it isn’t little Benson,” Finn grinned as you strode into the squad room.

“That got old after the first three times you said it, Finn,” you rolled your eyes but let Finn pull you into a hug. You adored Finn, always had since you first met him when he joined your sisters squad. “Liv free?”

“She’s with our new ADA,” Nick answered coming up for his own hug. “Going to drag her to lunch?”

“Ooh, someone’s clever, they should make you a detective,” you teased winking at him when he playfully tried to mess up your hair. “Tell me something, this new ADA, Liv seems both happy and vexed with this guy. What do you guys think?”

“He’s good at his job,” Amanda answered. “He’s a little abrasive and should probably work on his approach to our victims but otherwise I don’t think he’s a bad guy.”

“Good, you guys deserve a consistent ADA,” you grinned before turning as you heard Liv’s voice. You studied your sister, checking to see if there was any signs that she was overly stressed, you let out a breath when you saw no signs. After checking on Liv, you allowed your eyes to drift the man beside her, taking in the fancy looking suit, his perfectly styled hair and his brilliant green eyes. Your heart fluttered for a half second as you took your fill of him, knowing that he must be the new ADA. You were more intrigued by him then you had been with any of the previous ADA’s.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” Liv asked as she spotted you next to the rest of your squad. You were still studying Rafael when he turned to look at you, a look of confusion on his face at seeing an unfamiliar person amongst the squad. Your eyes locked for a split second before you forced you gaze away, that second was enough for you to know that you could get lost in his eyes forever.

“Here to drag my stubborn sister out to lunch,” you answered, tilting your head. “And don’t even try it, I already cleared it with Cragen.”

“Of course you did,” she laughed. “Rafael, this is my sister, Y/N.”

“Nice to finally meet you Rafael,” you stepped forward, offering your hand for him to shake.

“I take it Liv’s complained?” he asked stepping forward with a little smirk. He took your hand in his squeezing it gently as he shook it twice before letting go, letting his fingers trail along your palm.

“Only about as much as she would about me,” you responded.

“And that is a sisters job,” Liv poked you in the arm.

“And so’s making sure my sister eats and remembers that they have a sibling,” you hip checked her. “Now please go and grab your shit.”

“Your shout,” Liv said told you as she walked to her desk grabbing her coat and bag. You rolled your eyes playfully at her back ignoring how Rafael seemed to be watching the interaction with amusement.

“Duh, always is,” you added forcing your tone to match how you behaved as a teenager when Liv became more like your mother than your sister.

“They always like this?” Rafael asked Finn. The rest of the squad had been watching the back and forth between the Bensen siblings like it was a tennis match.

“Only as long as I’ve known them,” Finn shrugged.

“And how long is that?” Rafael asked.

“Since 2000, known Little Benson since she was 17, and even then she would come charging into the squad room to demand her sister join her for food,” Finn grinned. “Those two would share being the mother hens, once in I think 2005 Little Benson was really sick and Liv was out of her mind until Cragen told her to go home.”

“Odafin Tutuola you better not be selling our secrets!” you walked back over to the team wagging your finger at the man. “Don’t listen to him, Rafael.”

“I don’t tend to,” Rafael responded, his teasing smirk growing. “But from what I have witnessed he doesn’t seem to be lying.”

“Rude,” you laughed. “Wow, I can see now why you get along so well with Liv.”

Rafael’s smirk changed to a grin at your laugh, he had heard mentions of Liv’s sister in passing but Liv hadn’t talked overly much about you, at least not to him. He knew Liv was a somewhat private person and he hadn’t been working with SVU for long.

“Alright, call me-”

“Do not call her,” you interrupted. “Cragen promised me a full hour for lunch with my sister with no interruptions. I’m sure this place won’t collapse in that hour.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll handle anything,” Amanda promised you with a wink.

“That goes for you as well Rafael,” you pointed a finger at him. “If you have issues with anything regarding a case, call one of them.”

“Bossy,” Rafael muttered.

“You should have seen her as a teenager,” Liv agreed. You opened your mouth in a fake gasp of surprise.

“Who do you think I got it from?” you asked crossing your arms.

“From me?” Liv acted surprised.

“She’s got you there Liv,” Nick said teasingly.

“Alright we’re leaving,” Liv nudged you away from the rest of the squad.

You were drawn out from the memory when you felt Rafael’s hand caress your cheek. As your eyes refocused you saw his green eyes staring at you with love, a soft gentle smile on his face.

“There you are mi amor,” he whispered leaning to press a kiss your cheek. “I was trying to let you sleep.”

“Thank you, honey,” you covered the hand cupping your cheek, nuzzling into it. “I think my body automatically wakes me up now.”

“Where were you just before?” he smiled at you as you reached up to stroke the back of Noah’s head, Rafael removed his hand from your cheek, wrapping his arm around your waist pulling you closer to him.

“Remembering when we first met,” you answered. “I remember thinking that I was in trouble from the split second our eyes met.”

“Really?” he raised an eyebrow, a smirk slowly replacing the soft smile. “Mi amor, charmed by me before I even opened my mouth.”

“Oh don’t go getting a big head,” you scolded him. “We should put him back to bed.”

“Hmm, don’t worry mami, I was charmed by you very quickly as well and that only grew every day,” he kissed your lips before walking back to the nursey to put Noah back in his crib.

“Do tell,” you drawled trailing behind as he entered the room and waited for him to lay Noah down before plastering yourself to his back, arms wrapped around his chest as you looked around him to Noah sleeping peacefully in his crib. Rafael chuckled softly as he ran his fingers up and down your arm before he unlocked them from around his chest, using the grip on your hands to pull you from the room and back to your bed.

“Should I be worried about you getting a big head?” he teased.

“Don’t worry, Rafi you’ll still have the biggest ego in this relationship,” you poked him before you laid down on his chest, your fingers playing with his chest hair. “Now, tell me.” You pouted up at him.

“Bossy,” he tapped you on the nose. “The way you are with Liv, and the rest of the squad. It showed me that you were a kind, compassionate and caring woman. But what really settled it for me, was when you first brought Noah to the squad room after you had started fostering him.”

You cradled the little boy close to your chest, humming soothingly as you walked into the squad room. You had promised the team that you would bring your foster son to see them after you had taken time to settle down. You hadn’t even seen Rafael since the court agreed to you fostering. Liv had asked if you would be interested in fostering the poor little guy after the latest care situation hadn’t worked out. At first you had been unsure but the caseworker had let you hold Noah and see him for a few hours at the centre and you were hooked from the moment he cooed at you. The court had agreed to you fostering him, having an older sister who was a Sargent in SVU speak for you helped and the background check was easy, your job paid extremely well and your apartment was big enough for a nursey. You had a year of just fostering him before you could petition to adopt him. That year couldn’t go quick enough as far as you were concerned .

“Hey guys, you got time for a special VIP visit?” you asked, your voice loud enough to draw Liv out of her office, Rafael following her. Your eyes locked and you were able to watch as he took in you holding Noah, his eyes softened as he looked back up at you.

“For my nephew?” Liv asked striding forward to meet you near the desks of the squad. “Always.”

“I will try to not take offence that I wasn’t included in that sentiment,” you teased handing over Noah to Liv who cradled him so tenderly.

“He’s gotten so big,” Amanda gushed her hand coming up to stroke the back of his head. “How’s he been?”

“Really good, the doctors said he is healthy, and he will probably start teething in earnest soon,” you grinned. “So that will be fun.”

Rafael came up to stand beside you, his arm wrapping around your waist as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. You smiled shyly at him, you weren’t entirely sure how he was going to take to you fostering the little boy.

“Mami suggested teething rings for him that we could put in the freezer,” he said holding a bag up. “I went and got some..”

The rest of the squad happily pretended to be distracted by the baby currently in Amanda’s arms but they all watched the couple, Liv especially was very invested in what was happening. You were currently wrapping your arms around Rafael’s shoulders a look on your face that Liv had never seen before.

“Rafi,” you cooed. “Thank you, I hadn’t even thought of that. Think your mum would be happy to provide some more advice and suggestions?”

“She would be over the moon,” Rafael grinned pecking you on the lips. “And…I would love to help in anyway I possibly could and in any way you want me to help.”

“Really?” you asked almost bouncing on your feet.

“Of course,” Rafael smiled. “If the squad can be torn away from little Noah I wanted to take the two of you out for lunch.”

“Let me see what I can do,” you planted a kiss on his cheek squeezing him tightly before you let go and spun around to face your sister and the others. “I’m going to need Noah back, you lot. My man is taking us to lunch.”

Since your back was turned you missed how Rafael was looking at you. The expression on his face was almost indescribable, his eyes were impossibly soft and he couldn’t tear them away from you as you took Noah back in your arms, kissing him on his head as you teasingly hip checked Amanda who was pouting at you.

“And I later learned that you are fiercely protective of your loved ones,” Rafael’s voice dragged you back to the present. The look in his eyes similar to the one from that day when he came out of Liv’s office.

“Damn right I am, would burn the world for my family,” you agreed pressing a kiss to his chest right above his heart. “Would burn it for you.” Rafael smiled at you trailing his fingers across your cheek.

“Truly?” he asked.

“You’ve been stuck with me since the night you listened to me scream and yell at you, blaming you for Liv being taken by that fucker Lewis,” you propped yourself up on your elbows, hovering above Rafael. “And all you did afterwards was hold me. I had been determined not to let myself feel anything for you, to ignore the signs that you felt something for me, and that night…that night I decided to ignore every reason why dating someone who worked with my sister was a terrible idea.”

“Still think it is?” Rafael asked hands running up and down your back.

“No, not at all,” you rubbed your nose against his placing a kiss on it afterwards.

“Know what I remember from that night?” he asked you rolling the both of you until you were underneath him, your legs cradling his hips as he kissed up your neck and across your cheeks, nuzzling you.

“What’s that?” you asked, a little worried about his answer.

“I remember seeing you breaking apart and knowing that I had no idea how to help you,” he started. “That all I wanted to do was take your pain away. So if letting you scream at me was helpful at all then I would let you scream at me for however long it was needed.”

You stared up at the man that held your heart as it squeezed at his admission. You didn’t think you could love this man more than you already did, but having seen him with Noah and what he just told you showed that you were wrong.

“Rafael, I love you,” you whispered, eyes wet with tears. “I love you.”

You had never said the words out loud yet, Rafael had told you he loved you six months after you started fostering Noah. You had mentioned that after the last six months of the fostering where up you were going to petition to adopt Noah, you had asked him what he thought about it, you had practically moved in together without it being official. You figured you should ask him, concerned that maybe adopting a child might be the line in the sand for Rafael, the two of your had never talked about kids in your future and you knew that if Rafael didn’t want kids that it would be the end of your relationship. But the man had surprised you when he responded by saying that he loved you and would support you in any way you needed. You hadn’t known how to respond, you were a little like your sister in that regards, love was a little tricky. But Rafael took it in stride, like the most amazing man in the world, he hadn’t mentioned it again, at least not out loud, he did small things to show you that he loved you. And that he loved Noah.

“Mi Amor,” Rafael’s voice came out soft and hushed. “I love you as well.”

The rest of the night was spent in bliss, until the two of you curled around each other trading lazy kisses as sleep tugged you both under.

The following morning found you waking up alone in bed. Again. You were thinking you would have to talk to Rafael about that. You hugged his pillow close to you as you rolled onto your side, wondering if you should try going back to sleep, until you heard the most adorable sound. Noah’s laugh coming from the kitchen followed by Rafael’s soft chuckle his words not loud enough for you to hear. You smiled at the sound of your boys, a warmth building up inside. You could hardly believe how well Rafael took to Noah this past year, helping you when Noah started teething, on nights when he stayed over he would always shush you back to sleep if Noah cried as he got up to sooth him. He would take time out of his hectic schedule to spend time with Noah if you were busy with your work so you didn’t need to get a baby sitter. He joined you to any of the doctor visit’s he could, if Child Services made a visit he would try to be there if you wanted him there. He took the two of you out to lunches and picnics in the park.

Rafael went above and beyond, you knew he meant it when he said he would help out but you had no idea he would go as far as he had. In your mind you kept thinking of him as Noah’s father, though you hadn’t dared to say anything out loud. A part of you was still worried that some time soon Rafael would decide that being with you and a kid was too much, that he hadn’t signed up for this. But knowing that right now he was in the kitchen, most likely feeding your son, playing with him and making him laugh almost gave you enough courage to say something. You smiled reaching out to grab the shirt Rafael had left on the bottom on your bed, it was one of his with Harvard sprayed across the front. It fell to your thighs and smelled of him, he would also always leave one of his shirts out for you to wear in the morning.

You padded quietly out to the kitchen phone at the ready to catch what your boys were doing. You peeked around the corner and your heart squeezed at the sight. Rafael was feeding Noah his breakfast while also keeping an eye on whatever he was cooking on the stovetop, from the smell it was pancakes. You switched your phone from camera to video, catching as Rafael imitated an aeroplane with the spoon waving in the air before bringing it to Noah’s mouth.

“Yum, yum, right little guy?” Rafael asked. “Your mami only buys the best for our-her little boy.”

You almost dropped your phone at his slip up, your heart pounding. He was going to call Noah “Our son”, he thought of Noah as his son. You stopped recording and ducked back around the wall, hand clutched to your chest. Happiness burst through you, your smile growing. This was what you needed, after finally telling Rafael that you loved him, you wanted him to know that Noah was his son as well. That this entire time you had been coparenting Noah, and Rafael needed to know. You stepped into the kitchen coming to Noah kissing his head before giving him the last bite of food left.

“Morning love,” you said to Rafael. “Thank you for this, you didn’t have to.” Rafael turned around after flipping the pancake sending you a beautiful smile before he started to make you tea.

“I’m well aware I don’t have do to anything mi amor but I enjoy looking after you and-” you stepped up to him pressing a soft kiss to his lips interrupting him.

“Our son?” you asked. “Because Noah is our son, Rafi. If you want?”

“Amor,” Rafael’s eyes were wide in awe, tears filling them as he stared at you searching your eyes. “Truly?”

“Yes, Rafael, I have thought it for a while I just didn’t know if you wanted that,” you nodded rubbing your nose against his in affection. “But after last night and seeing you this morning I needed you to know.”

“Our son?” Rafael whispered. “Noah is our son.”

“Yes,” you nodded. Rafael grinned as he wrapped his arms around your waist, picking you up to spin you around as the happiest laugh filled the kitchen. He peppered kisses all over your face squeezing you tight.

“I love you mi amor,” Rafael whispered. “And I love our son.”

“We love you as well,” you whispered back. Rafael leaned down his hands cupping your face as he gently pressed his lips to yours before softly and gently moving his lips. Your hands gripped his hips stepping closer to him so there was no gap between your bodies. The kiss was passionate but without the heat of last night.

The two of you turned in unison as Noah’s giggle interrupted the moment between the two of you. Your son was sitting in his high chair giggling and playing with the spoon hitting it against the table part of his chair. Your lips pulled up into a smile at your son, at the happiness in his giggle. It had taken a while for Noah to express himself and every time he does you are so proud of him. Rafael grinned releasing you to lift Noah into his arms.

“Is our son happy?” he asked lifting Noah up enough to gently blow on his belly. “Does our son want to go to the zoo today?”

“The zoo?” you asked coming up beside your boys. “Don’t you have work?”

“I can take today off,” he grinned. “It’s been a while since we’ve spent the day together as a family.”

You tried to stop your smile from growing too much at the little white lie, you had spent time together last night but you knew to Rafael that this was different. This time you would be together as a family, where everyone knows that the three of you were family. Rafael was almost vibrating with happiness, as he pressed a kiss to your head.

“I’ll get our little man ready,” he grinned heading to the bathroom.

“You’re going to take any chance you have to say our family aren’t you?” you called as you started to clean up, tearing a piece off of the pancake on top on the pile and removing the last one from the pan. “And the two of us our eating the pancakes before we leave!”

“Anything for you mi amor! The beautiful mother of my son,” Rafael called his voice a little sassy but no less loving.

“Yeah, that man is not going to tire from saying that anytime soon,” you chuckled to yourself. And you knew that you would never tire from hearing him say it.

#writing #imagine #law and order svu #imagines #law and order svu imagines #fluff #rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x female reader #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x y/n #Family #Dad Rafael Barba #Request #Olivia Benson #Benson Reader #Older Sister Olivia Benson

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itsjustmyfantasyroom · 8 months

Text

Over your head

It's been a while and most of this is personal to my life. Just needed to little Nick loving.

Warnings: None, just fluffy Nick.

WC: 736.

Enjoy x

You should have said no, but you couldn’t now, everything was in place and you knew it have to be like ripping a band aid off, but you were nervous. When Liv came to you and told you that SVU was going to be getting the funds to have an in-house forensic science lab and suggested that you go and get your degree so you could be the head of the lab, it took you nearly 3 days to decide. Life had not been kind recently and you were in your era of second guessing yourself with everything you had been through and what was still to come in your personal life. Your divorce was finally coming to the final stages of being settled and you had just got the kids in a routine as a single mom, and now you were nothing but crazy taking on a full-time degree study as well as working. It was lucky you lived with your mum and the kids went to the same school as Amanda's girls, so between her and Sonny, when you needed it, they said they had it all under control.

As you walked into the huge lecture hall, you found a seat as far up the back as possible and you sat down, sitting your bag on the seat next to you. You had a little giggle as your eyes scanned around the room at all these “Young kids” doing a course as heavy as this, thinking about everything you had seen after 12 years of SVU.

You were looking down at your phone to a message Amanda had messaged you about her plans with all the kids that afternoon after school when you heard a familiar voice and instantly all your worries melted away, your eyes slowly scanned up and surprisingly your eyes met and you blushed as he gave you quick wink and continued talking,

“Good morning, everyone, I’ am Nick Amaro your professor for the next 12 months. I’ am here to answer any questions you may have. All I ask is no phones during my class, unless an extreme emergency” Nick looked at you with a smirk and you giggled to yourself dropping you phone back into your bag.

If that is what you had to listen too for 1 hour every day for the next year, you would be glad to do it. Listening to Nick talking about all his lab skills and referring to his SVU days and cases he had worked on with you and how it led him to this path, made you feel warm and fuzzy. You hadn’t seen him since the night he told you he was moving to LA, your life was already a mess from the break up and he held you on floor as you sobbed at the fact that you were losing your best friend. You had kept in contact, he calling and facetiming the kids as often as he could but you never would have thought in a million years that he would be back in New York teaching.

You watched as all the other students filed out and then you stood up walking out of the aisle you were sitting on and you walked down the stairs. Just as you were almost at the bottom, Nick walked from around his desk and made his way towards the stairs, stopping at the bottom step not stepping up. You stopped on the bottom step, looking down at Nick, not taking them off his as you sat your bag down on the chair next to you. It was like a magnet pulled you together, your arms going around his neck and his around you middle,

“I’ve missed you sweetheart” Nick kissed the cheek he could reach.

You lent back, your arms going from around his neck and your hands went straight to his beaded cheeks, his moving to your hips, the feel of his facial hair smooth on your hands,

“You have no idea how much I have missed you. How long are you back for?”

“At the moment 3 years” he squeezed your hips “But I’ am hoping I won’t need to leave again”

“Have something important to stay for Professor?” You grinned.

“Yes actually” he paused for a moment looking down at your lips and then looking back up at your eyes “I ‘am looking at her”

Tags: @beccabarba @ben-c-group-therapy @alwaysachorusgirl @jemmakates

#law and order svu #svu fanfiction #svu fandom #svu fan #nick amaro x you #nick amaro x reader #nicolas amaro #law and order: svu #nick amaro imagine #nick amaro x female reader #nick amaro x

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iscawen · 7 months

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i got my copy of the @mcrswarmzine a few days ago!!! i think this is the first time i’ve seen my work in print :’) thank you so much to the mods (cieara, amanda, nick, and luca), the other contributors, and everyone who has bought the zine! all proceeds go to charity and digital copies are still available to buy :)

#mcrswarmzine #my chemical romance #mcr #gerard way #ray toro #frank iero #mikey way #mcrosaka #zine #iscacarme #my art #artists on tumblr #tw blood

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slash-me-please · 11 months

Note

I am sure your tired of writing for Amanda by now but your the only person I could find that’s willing to write for her and is actually good at it 😭 spare me i’m desperate and don’t know how too request but could you do a imagine with Dom!Amanda and shes really protective over reader to the point where it’s kind of toxic, she finds out who readers shitty ex girlfriend is and does anything and everything to show the said ex that reader is hers now like: showing up at her place of work with reader, making out in front of her, really touchy, whispering dirty stuff so the ex can hear, etc. Just some examples. You can pick whether reader is fem or gender neutral it doesn’t matter to me :)

On another note: Thank you for your service🫡 I love your writing so much.

you said dom!Amanda therefore you are getting smut i am so sorry to force this on you. :) not really love u.

A/N: Sorry about the wait!! I got caught up on bills today and have been working full time and also doing schoolwork. Luckily I paid my rent + electric so i have some free time!!!

Warnings: Revenge sex trope, voyeurism/exhibitionism, bondage/shibari, fighting, jealousy, dub!con, reader being an absolute asshole, murder, use of vibrator.

Pressing your fingers against the loose fabric of a dress, your lips held in a thin line. The needle pressed through the fabric, and back again. You were focused on your work, a nice sheer fabric for a nightdress you had been working on for a while. You were a tailor for a small business which made custom handmade dresses, one of the best tailors of the six of you.

The office you worked at was small, just like the business. The six of you crowded into a medium sized room. Your boss had created you a small section to yourself, as she insisted on making you employee of the month. So you pressed your hands against the fabric, the slow push and pull of your hands against the machine kept you in a trance. You had loved your job once, and while you enjoyed what you did- there was one downside.

Her. The problem. The reason you got into fights with your girlfriend every night this week.

As you pieced together your nightdress, across from you your ex watched- eyes wide and focused on your hands. You wanted to say something, you wanted to complain. Anything. But you never did, instead opting to do your job.

"L/N!" You flinched, hand jerking forward and pinching your finger in the machine. You yelped, pulling backwards and cradling your finger against your chest. "Look what you did!" The familiar voice of your lover rang through your ears, and you felt yourself turning to look. She was barreling towards you, eyes focused on your boss, who had yelled your last name. She seemed angry, reaching foward to hold you against her stomach.

Amanda placed a brown paper bag on your table, freeing her hands to examine your finger under her "Professional" gaze. She seemed almost content for a moment, eyes narrowed in on yours. "It's just a nick, but i'll fucking murder that ratty-bastard if you want." Your head shook back and forth, eyes widened with shock. "I'm not sure that's necessary!" You whispered, turning away from her to move back to your dress. "What are you doing here Amanda?" She sighed, the back of her hand hitting the paper bag. "I brought you lunch,"

"I might be too busy eating out Jenny to get to that, sorry." You snapped, turning your head away from her. "Fucking look at her, she's fucking you with her eyes. I don't know why you're acting like you can't see that." Amanda snapped back, her arms crossing against her chest. "It doesn't matter what she thinks about me. I told you I only want you! Why does it matter if she's looking at me?" Amanda released a sigh again. "It's about respect, I don't understand why you allow her to do that." You felt your face begin to heat up, beyond aggravated with the entire situation. "She's just not even worth the fucking air! I'm sorry you're too insecure to let it go!"

You only began to feel bad when her face fell and she turned on her heel and out towards the parking lot, but you didn't dare follow her.

You can end here, or read this fucked up smut.

Vision static and dizzy, you wobbled in the chair you were tied to. The last thing you remember was getting home and your lover reaching her hand around your mouth and nose to suffocate you with a damp rag. Your throat felt dry and sore, as if you'd been yelling but you knew that you hadn't. Amanda got like this sometimes, but you knew this time was your fault.

It looked like you were in an abandoned garage, the lights were cool and flickering. You were propped on a chair, both legs tied with a spiral futomomo tie and kept apart with a spreader. You were entirely naked, and bare to the garage.

And your ex.

There sat Jenny, her eyes wide as she stared at your bare form with an underlying lust beneath that fear. Her mouth was ducktaped shut and she was chained to the chair by her ankles and wrists. You squirmed beneath her gaze, whining out for Amanda. A few moments later she made her entrance, yanking off the worn pigs mask. She glared at you with an anger you'd only seen a few times. Goosebumps erupted onto your skin.

"I'm sorry, can you let me out?" You plead, and she frowns. "Don't act like you don't deserve what you're going to get."

She made her way behind you, and you heard her shuffling a few items around. You thought for a moment that maybe she had a table back behind you, but she left you no time to dwell when you felt a cold hand grasp your shoulder.

"Tell me, Love." Amanda took a deep, shuddering breath. "Do you like her eyes on you?" You whined, head craning back to look at her and deny the accusation. "I only want you baby, I promised!" Your pleading did not phase her, she only reached into your hair and yanked your head forward. Your eyes made contact with Jenny's and she watched as Amanda's hand flicked on a vibrator and licked it.

"I want you to watch, let me show you what's fucking mine."

And with those words, she hunched over you and placed the vibrator over your clit. Your head threw back, and you yelped. "Goddammit!" Your legs shuddered against your restraints, pulling against them with a pain. "Please!" Amanda laughed, her eyes trained downwards as she watched your sex shudder against the silicone head of her vibrator. "Good girl..." She whispered into your cheek, placing a cruel kiss on your skin. Your voice wobbled, back arching as you pressed yourself impossibly closer to the source of your pleasure.

Across from you, Jenny watched, cheeks flushed and eyes dilated. Her legs rubbed together as she watched Amanda rub the toy against your clit. She treated you generously, her other hand snaking down to your throat to give it a squeeze as she upped the setting on her toy. You keened loudly, hands balling into fists as you chanted her name.

"You like this? All I had to do was force you to show her who you belonged to?" She sneered, pushing the vibrator lower. She let it sink into your hole, and she began to lightly thrust it inside of you. "God!" You cried, mouth hanging open as your climax ran up to you. "I'm so close!"

Amanda snickered, glancing up to watch Jenny stare between your legs.

Her mouth twisted into something angry, her other hand reaching down to rub your clit in circles. You flailed against her ministrations, mouth open in a wail which could not be contained. Finally, you came against her hands, legs quivering as you soaked her hands and the toy, the rest of your cum wetting the concrete floor beneath you. With that, she flicked the vibrator off and placed it back on the table, grabbing something sharper.

"Did you enjoy the show, Jenny?" You heard her breathe. You heard her walk back behind you, her hand yanking your head backwards. "Love you..." You gasped, picking your head up to give her a kiss. She nodded, fingers releasing your hair. That is when she walked past you, flipping a hunting knife around in her hand. "It'll be the last one you'll ever see."

Jenny began to push against her restraints, shaking her head no and yelling pleas. None of which appealed to Amanda, instead the smooth twist of her wrist pushing the blade into her abdomen and then actively gutting her appealed way more.

You watched the life leave her eyes and you sighed, making eye contact with Amanda and biting your lip.

"Are you done?"

She dropped to her knees, crawling forward to attach her lips to your cunt.

#Amanda Young x reader #Amanda Young x reader smut #Saw x reader smut #slasher x reader #slasher x reader smut #saw x reader #smut

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aceofnace · 1 year

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Nancy’s Feelings for Ace

Nancy told Ace that the first time she realized she had feelings for him was during the dreamscape with the wraith, because that was her official “oh” moment, but as a viewer we know she had feelings for him long before that, even if she didn’t know it. The first real signs for us were her obvious jelly feelings as she watched Ace flirt with Amanda in 2x07 and her mind immediately jumping to Ace when she heard the sentence “the one with the pretty eyes” in 2x08. But really, it goes even further back than that.

Nick asking Ace in the last episode if it was ever really only friendship and nothing more between him and Nancy got me thinking back to the very beginning. And to be honest, I don’t think it ever was only friendship. For either one of them.

We know now that Ace had a crush on Nancy in high school. So naturally, when she started working at The Claw, that crush returned right away (even if he also had a crush on Bess at the time). And we know Nancy met Nick and it was lust at first sight and she immediately embarked on a physical relationship with him soon after. This all happened before the show began. What else happened before the show began and it’s one of the first things Nancy tells us about Ace when her narration introduces us to him?

The smoke break.

Upon first viewing, it feels like an unimportant throwaway line. A piece of information that could just as easily have been left out. But it wasn’t. Why? Because I think that smoke break, a moment we’ve never gotten to see, was when Nancy’s feelings for Ace actually started.

Think about it for a second. We know that Nancy has always found Ace attractive. When she hears the term “pretty eyes”, she’s like “Who, Ace?” When she’s under the spell of a lust dress, she lets it slip out that she’s always imagined how soft his hair would be. In as early as episode 1x02, she’s placing a hand on his shoulder for no reason while she talks and she doesn’t let go until she’s done. He may not have necessarily been on her radar in high school like she was on his, but he certainly was as soon as she started working at The Claw.

So, now that we have obvious physical attraction out of the way, that smoke break. We know very little about it. The most of what we do know about it is made up from the minds of countless fans who’ve written their own fan fic version of it (myself included). But the one canon thing about it, the thing Nancy told us herself, was that he didn’t judge her for tanking her grades after her mom died. And how did he even know about that? Because she told him.

Nancy Drew, who at the start of the show was the queen of high emotional walls who didn’t like divulging personal information to anyone, divulged some pretty personal information to this boy she barely knew (and even though it’s never discussed again, there’s a pretty good chance that wasn’t the only smoke break they ever spent together). Meanwhile, she was hooking up with Nick and even sorta calling herself his girlfriend, but any time he tried to get her to open up and talk about anything, she shut him down immediately.

I feel like this is something that should be discussed more. The fact that she was able to so quickly and comfortably share stuff like this with Ace and nobody else is a huge deal. And in the beginning, it’s completely overlooked because Nancy’s love interest was Nick, and then after they broke up, Owen was next in line. For most of season one, she did not outwardly show any significant interest in Ace as anything more than a stranger–turned–co-worker–turned–sleuthing buddy–turned–close friend. But that interest was there.

And why wouldn’t it be? As I already mentioned, Nancy was always physically attracted to Ace. She knew from before the show began that he was a good listener and easy to talk to. And then early on when she learned about his hacking abilities, she saw how smart he was. Soon after that, she learned how loyal and dedicated he was. The boy risked his entire future to break her father out of prison, and he did so without her even asking him to. He willingly drank what could’ve been poison to prove she was right and to keep her from getting arrested. Every time she called, he answered. Every time she needed help or needed a favor, he delivered. How could she not possibly fall for him?

So, she did fall for him. Most likely even in season one. It was evident during the library scene where they were reading Ryan and Lucy’s emails out loud. Hearing Ace say things like “I think I love you too” and “I want to be with you, I don’t care what anyone else says” made her feel something, hence the look the two of them share afterward. But here’s the thing: if Nancy recognized that feeling at all, she would have shoved it down so far and so fast because that feeling was something real. Something more than she was used to feeling. And that scared her.

Nick was a distraction from the grief over her mother’s death. Owen was also a distraction from that grief, as well as from her break-up with Nick. Ace wasn’t a distraction. He was a friend. A confidant. Someone she could rely on. Someone she could count on under any circumstances. This kind of relationship with a guy was one she wasn’t accustomed to. And she knew that it could someday lead to something more serious—something she most definitely wasn’t ready for.

In 2x10, while under the spell of the lust dress, Nancy theorized out loud that perhaps the dress was intensifying feelings of attraction she already had but was repressing, and she said it while turning and looking directly at Ace. Keep in mind that (somehow) 2x10 in the timeline is not that far from where they were in season one, so to assume those repressed feelings started in season one is not that much of a stretch. And looking back, even starting within the first few episodes of the series, you can clearly see she has always been drawn to him in a very subconscious way. She would always stand so close their arms would almost touch. She would lean closely over his shoulder when he was on his laptop, their faces sometimes only mere inches apart. She would practically bump into him while walking side-by-side. She’s always had this unrealized need to be near him. To be close to him. And he’s the only one. I challenge anyone to find scenes that show her casually existing so closely next to Nick, Owen, Gil, Park or even now Tristan. You can’t. Because they don’t exist.

And this makes sense. Canonically, they are soulmates. And that would explain why Ace could simply see her make a volcano erupt in high school and develop feelings for her. It would explain why since day one, Nancy has had a bond with Ace that she’s never had with anyone else. And I know the writers say that Nace wasn’t the plan from the beginning, and I do believe that, but somehow, they inadvertently set it up perfectly for these characters to end up in the situation they’re in right now: desperately in love and desperate to be together. They are each other’s person. And they always have been from the very start.

To go back to what they were before would just be staying the same. They’ve never been just friends. And the sooner Ace can admit that to himself, the sooner they can get back to trying to break that curse and securing their future together.

#nace #nancy x ace #ace x nancy #nancy drew cw #cw nancy drew

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beauspot · 5 months

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Amanda Rollins does not deserve Sonny Carisi

i am pretty much always in support of women in relationships (especially fictional) just because statistics are on women’s side, HOWEVER, amanda rollins is genuinely a terrible person and I don’t understand why she and carisi are together.

amanda victim blames women constantly (but gets defensive if the victim is a man?? like pick a standard) and she has done this for like a decade, she forgives men around her for the worst transgressions though.

she will always side with cops even in situations where they’re CLEARLY in the wrong like that woman who’s husband was abusing her. on top of that her simply being mean to people around her. she insulted nick multiple times and called carisi stupid and hasn’t apologized for it. she only goes to him when she’s having problems and even hijacked a moment where he was having his feelings about a vic DYING IN HIS ARMS to make the situation about herself.

meanwhile carisi is kind, he’s open, he’s always there for the victims, he helps with her kids, he cooks, he’s forgiving and she takes major advantage of that. she knows how he feels about her and it’s only after he starts seeing another woman that she suddenly realizes she feels the same? bull.

i’m not saying she had to get with carisi just because he liked her, it’s her choice. i just think the writers should have had him end up with someone better.

yeah yeah, amanda feels like she doesn’t deserve a good man because of her past blah blah blah. i get it abuse and trauma can warp the mind, believe me. i get it. but this doesn’t give her the right to be toxic as hell and rarely ever apologize for it.

let’s all just be very honest for a minute if amanda didn’t look the way she looked ✋🏻, would anyone have put up with her mess this long? i think we all know the answer to that question.

carisi deserves someone like him, kind, caring, loving, so he can taking a freaking day off of caring about everyone else around him. instead he’s become a permanent babysitter. and they have completely altered his character to fit with hers. i don't know if it's just me, but from season 16-20 carisi was very bubbly and kind, now? he has become so mean. the best way I can explain this is through the relationship between kat and sonny. seasons 16/17 sonny and kat would be best friends. in the seasons kat is actually in they couldn't be any more different.

let me ask you. would early seasons sonny be caught dead in a situation that could even be misinterpreted as cheating? no. what happened to him?

and then the ship has the audacity to be forced and boring. r*llisi shippers are very insufferable to me and I want you to know now. no one cares about your opinion or the canon of the show.

i think what pisses me off the most is that they never even gave sonny a chance. we basically only got one serious sonny relationship which was with nicole (a black woman btw) and she was in what? 2 episodes??? then she never appears again and we’re supposed to assume they broke up or something before sonny makes out with rollins.

i feel like sonny was the most himself around amaro and barba, since they left he’s just…different.

#i posted this on reddit and it got removed by a mod for being hateful #law and order svu #law and order special victims unit #law and order #sonny carisi #dominick carisi #kat tamin #amanda rollins #anti rollisi #law and order svu nicole #disposable black gf

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kayyybenson · 1 year

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Sick - Nick Amaro

I stood closely behind Nick as he interrogated the suspect. He wanted me to stay behind him, just in case he tries to attack us. He was a step up from the shitty partner I had in Atlanta, and I loved it, Amanda always teased me claiming I had a 'crush' on him. But that's just what twins do to each other, we're not identical appearance-wise, but personality-wise we're practically the same.

"You know we found your DNA on the victim right?" Nick dropped his voice to seem threatening.

"I didn't rape her. I promise."

"Then why did we find your semen in her!?" I yelled.

"I don't know!" I suddenly felt nauseous. I'm assuming I went pale because Nick turned to me, concerned.

"Y/N?" Nick slowly approached me, but I scooted to a corner to throw up the lunch that cost me $20. "Yikes, you good?"

"I don't know." I gasped. He led me out of the room. Amanda and Carisi took our place.

He handed me the trash can that was next to his desk. "Maybe you should go home, you are clearly under the weather."

"No-" I threw up again. "I'm fine."

"Girl, if you don't go home I am personally going to sedate you and drop you off in the middle of nowhere." Fin cut in.

"Jesus Fin," I mumbled, head still in the trashcan.

"Take the rest of the day off Rollins," Liv gave me a concerned look.

"Which one?" She did not like that joke, I groaned and grabbed the keys to Amanda's car, we carpooled today, something we usually don't do. "Tell Mandy I'm taking the car."

"You are not driving when you can't keep your food in your stomach." Nick protested grabbing the keys from me.

"Wha-hey!" I yelled trying to get them back, I guess I moved too fast because I retreated back to my chair and threw up once again.

"Amanda will be taking you home," Liv said. "You both can go, just stop puking in my squad room." I let out a long groan and let Amanda drag me by the arm. Once we got to our apartments she opened my door and led me to the couch.

"I told you the eggs were bad." she chuckled, I groaned and threw a pillow at her. Our apartments were conjointed so she unlocked the middle door and Franny ran in jumping onto me.

"Hey, girl! Oh, I missed you! Hi, baby." I hugged her and rubbed her fur. Eventually, I went to the kitchen and grabbed a Gatorade from the fridge, hoping to get rid of the nausea. When I just felt sicker I stared at the open fridge "Screw it." I grabbed a bottle of wine, not even bothering to pour it into a cup before drinking some, and falling to the couch.

-------------------------

"Hey Y/N."

"Hey, Mandy." She dropped a bag onto my counter. "What's that?"

"I went shopping, Nick is coming in with some bags too. He wanted to check on you." She smirked at me before leaving for her apartment, Franny following close behind. Nick walked in soon after, carrying two more bags.

"You know you shouldn't drink wine when you're sick." I flipped him off and he smiled. "Amanda said you liked (Flavor) ice cream and (Favorite Candy), so we got some of that. And this. He pulled out a huge stuffed animal.

"What is that?"

"A get well soon teddy bear." I covered my mouth and chuckled. "What?"

"Nicky, it's just food poisoning." He pushed the stuffed animal towards me anyway.

"Take it, Amanda said you have a stuffie collection." My face got hot and I avoided eye contact.

"What-I-I have no idea-" I ran to the bathroom and puked again.

"Just food poisoning my ass." He stood behind me, pulling my hair into a ponytail. Once I was done he led me to my bedroom and pushed all my stuffed animals off to the side. I laid down and he tucked me in, setting some water on the nightstand. He went to walk off but I grabbed his hand.

"No, stay. Please,"

"Y/N, there are stuffed animals everywhere, there's nowhere for me to go." I kicked them all off my bed and pat the empty space. He gave me a look and laid next to me.

"You smell expensive," He chuckled and pulled me close to his body, he was warm, and his breathing was calming. "Nick?"

"Yeah Y/N?"

"Why do you care so much?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"Well, there's a lot of reasons."

"Go on."

"After hearing about how shitty your old partner was I guess I wanted to make sure you have a good experience at SVU, but somewhere in there..... I fell in love."

"With who?" I felt nauseous again and bolted to the bathroom. "Ah, shit!" I yelled when I stubbed my toe.

"I fell in love with you. Look at you, you're gorgeous, I'm glad you and Amanda aren't identical, one is enough." I couldn't hold my laugh in and ended up rolling on the bathroom floor.

"I love you too Nick," I said once I stopped laughing, he leaned in for a kiss but I stopped him. "Nah-uh. Still sick."

#nick amaro imagine #nick amaro x you #nick amaro #law and order svu #svu #amanda rollins #olivia benson #fin tutuola #nick amaro x reader

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stefanmikaleson1864 · 1 year

Text

I’m here for you

Joe Velasco X Reader

A/N: I hope everyone enjoys this !! If you like my work please comment like and reblog it means a lot to see interactions on my work.

Y/N POV

Me and Joe had this will they wont they thing going on for a while now. You felt like the vibes were there but it was hard because he was a quiet guy.

You also were a little reserved so no one had the guts to talk to each other. But slowly by surely the two of you opened up to each other. Talking and texting every chance you got.

It had only been a couple of months and you were head over heels in love.

Lately thought he had gone through a rough patch and you were trying to be there for him without stepping on toes.

Olivia our captain was against me even talking to him. Which i personally didn’t understand.

I Mean I know what he was accused of but i think we all deserve the benefit of the doubt.

I mean just become someone decided to secretly record an interview we should all turn on him. I feel like he deserved to tell his side of the story.

I let everyone in the unit how I was feeling about the situation which was causing a lot of heat in the unit.

“Y/N what did I tell you about staying away” Captain Benson asked.

“All i did was text him to make sure he was doing that’s all” I said

“You disobeyed my orders i told you flat out no communication” She said

“I didn’t ask about the case or anything he’s my friend I ‘m not going to turn my back on him especially when he needs people now” I said in a defensive manner.

Cap just looked at me and I could tell she was trying to find the right next words to say to me.

“Listen to me I am saying this because you are a great detective and you have a great career ahead of you and you need to stay focused okay” She told me

The words she said to me kind of irritated me a little bit but i kept my composer and bit my tongue. I didn’t want to start a fight and cause more tension.

“I understand cap” was all you could muster out at the moment.

“Your dismissed the days over just go home and get some rest and think about what I said.” She said.

“Yes Ma’am thank you” I said

She put her glasses on and started pulling some papers out of her giant stack she had and started focusing on them.

Finn and Amanda both looked at me with worried look on their faces. I think when I walked out I looked a little mad and upset.

“You know she’s right you just gotta focus on you at the moment” Amanda said

Something in you broke a little and what ever you had been pushing down had worked it way up.

Because you looked over at them sitting in their desk and then spoke out

“I find that a bit ironic considering your history of dating you and Nick Aamaro and then getting pregnant by Lt Murphy who you were under by the way. Me and Velscao are friends and im finding it pretty messed up that were just supposed to turn our back on a friend” You snapped.

Finn looked surprised as hell and Amanda was taken back and not sure on what to say next. Which you didn’t even bother giving her the chance.

You quickly gathered your stuff and then headed out. In the background you heard Finn say

“Just let go and let’s go home” He said

You walked out the squad room and headed downstairs. You were to worked up to even wait for the elevator.

You ran down the stairs and then headed out the front door. The fresh air hitting you in the face made you instantly feel a little better. You just headed to the car and threw your stuff in.

You didn’t even think about going home you just began driving. You tried to clear your head to make you feel a little better. ]

Your stomach started growling and you decided to stop for some dinner. There was a local diner that Joe introduced you to.

You pulled up and got out and walked in . It was pretty quiet and you were thankful for not having to deal with people.

You sat in the booth you and Joe always sat in. You were looking at the menu but not really even paying attention.

You tried to push back frustration tears from everything going on. Suddenly a man wearing a hoodie sat across from you which scared the crap out of you

“Omg what the hell” You asked

You heard a familiar laugh and then calmed down immediately when you realized who it was.

“Joe what the hell are you doing here” You asked

You looked up at him he gave you a sad look.

“I guess i just wanted to see you” He said

“Yeah me to but how did you know I was here” You asked

“Because I know you I figured you were just getting off of work and was probably hungry so you came here and sat in our booth” Joe said

You blushed and smiled at him knowing you so well. Or were you that predictable you thought

“How are you with everything” You asked

“It’s been hard you know having to turn on Chilli and not also you know” Joe said

“ you know what” You asked

“Not being able to talk to you. You have no idea how long I have been wanting to talk to you and see you it killed me” Joe said

“It’s not fair that Cap thinks she can just dictate our personal lives you know I missed you to a lot I have been wanting to see you It killed me too not beng able to see you” You told him.

“I don’t want to bring you down with me” Joe said

“You wouldn’t do that I’m here for everything the good and the bad” You said grabbing his hand.

He took your hand and looked up at you and smiled and gave your hand a squeeze.

“I’m here for you always” you said to him

“I know and that’s the problem he said

Your face kind of dropped and it was hard not to feel hurt.

Joe noticed your face and took his other hand and grabbed your free one and squeezed both of them together.

“It’s not like that i don’t wanna drag you down with me I love you to much” He said

You gave him a surprised look followed by a smile

“You love me” You questioned

He laughed a little bit.

“I’m being serious” you said pouting

“I know me to I’m trying to tell you I love you. Like more than friends you know and I don’t wanna be the reason your career goes up in flames” He said

“Listen here Joe Velscao” you said

“Oh my whole government name it’s serious” Joe said smiling

“Shut the hell up and listen I love you so much and you are the best part of me and I am a better person and detective because of you know and I know it’s only been a couple of month but when you know you know and I just know” You said rambling towards the end.

Joe leaped towards you and kissed you hard. You kissed him back and you were both smiling in each other’s faces.

The kiss broke and he sat down.

“Listen Y/N i love you so much and like you said when you know you know and I do feel that way about you which is why I wanna protect you” Joe said

“I’m here i’m a big girl we are going to figure this out together but you gotta tell me the truth that stuff you said in the tapes was it true” You asked

“Yeah it is but to a point i’m clean I never touched drugs ever but with the dad and son Chilli covered my ass and I owe that to him to help and try and cover his” Joe said

“I know you feel like that but you also know what ever is going on in the past you gotta close the wound and it should be on your time not anyones else’s okay but you know what the right thing to do is” You said

“I know I know your right and i know what i gotta do i just don’t the accusations and the rush to judgement” Joe said

“I get that and I agree that’s not fair to you and you shouldn’t have to prove who you are after all the hard work you been doing. But this is where we are so you need to go and sit down and talk to Oliva and be honest with everything and let the cards fall where they do” You said

“Yeah you're probably right and I know it’s just hard actually doing it” Joe said

“I will go in with you tomorrow okay i got you. You won’t go in there alone.” You said

“Thank you” Joe said squeezing my hand

“Now let’s eat I’m hungry that’s the whole reason why i’m here” You said laughing

“Yes Ma’am” Joe said

The waitress came back over and the two of you ordered. Of course she knew what you were getting because it was the same old thing.

“So uh after this little confession is this considered a date” You asked

Joe’s face lit up red and he looked up at you and smiled.

“Nah trust me you deserve a much better place than this for our first official date” He said

“Oh you don’t know what you just walked yourself into. Because i am going to take you to the most expensive restaurant i can in New York” You said laughing

“Oh you the person who orders the most basic food ever you wouldn’t even eat the nice food so good luck with that” Joe said laughing

“Don’t worry about me” You said smirking.

You both couldn’t contain your laughter of that. Joe really loosened up and relaxed and you both dropped the work conversation after that. T

alking about everything from your favorite shows you would watch together.

The food came out just a little bit later and you both shoved your faces with food. It was either really good or you were really hungry.

The rest of the night you both laughed and talked. You also couldn’t help but wonder how Liv was going to take you defying her orders but that didn’t matter right now.

Because there is no one else you would rather be with than Joe. Nothing could keep the two of you apart from each other.

No matter what happed the two of you would always be there for each other

#joe velasco #joe velasco x reader #joe velasco imagine #joe velasco one shot #octavio pisano #law and order svu #svu imagines #svu x reader #svu oneshot #Olivia Benson #Amanda Rollins #fin tutuola #law and order special victims unit

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