#and not indulge in fantasy thinking that’s gonna hurt me when i need to inevitably be realistic

[trashpremiium]

currently scolding my brain like a misbehaving animal, telling it to please be normal

[randomfandomimagine]

Fate Is Sealed. Chapter 13

Fandom: John Wick

Ship: John x Elizabeth (OC)

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Read it on AO3!!

Nothing seemed to make sense as we left the Continental. My brain felt numb as it made an effort to register what was happening around me. All I knew was that I was suddenly some other place. I blacked out completely. It was hard to focus, but I hardly recognized John’s house.

I hadn’t made a sound. I didn’t oppose as he took me with him. I struggled to stand even with his arm around me. I didn’t flinch when he began treating my wounds. I barely registered the panicked expression on his brown eyes. My entire body felt so numb that I only assumed where my wounds were thanks to John’s delicate cares when treating them.

He sighed, gingerly brushing the hair off my eyes, and squeezed my upper arm. His touch and closeness seemed to help grounding me back on reality. The more I looked at him and noticed the intensity in his glance, the less detached I felt.

“I…” His eyes immediately moved to lock with mine when I piped up. “I’m sorry”

“You did it in self defense” He just said, carefully pressing a cut in my forehead with the antiseptic drenched cotton. “I get it”

“I was so… scared” The frantic nature of my previous close calls was nothing compared to the absolute ferocity in Simone’s eyes, her determination to kill me. Her anger. My anger. “I…”

“Liz, it’s okay” John interrupted me, tenderly holding on to my face to continue his cares when I looked away.

“N-No! No, it’s not okay. It’s not, I did something terrible, even to someone like her” I gulped, wringing my hands thinking about the future. “There will be consequences”

“Not while I’m here”

“John, I don’t want you to-“

“We’re here to protect each other”

“But I don’t-“

John cupped my cheek, sending me an even more intense glance than before.

“Don’t feel guilty, she was no innocent” His thumb brushed against my skin when he paused. “And you acted on self defense. You’re better than what that guilt is telling you”

I blinked away my tears and nodded, understanding that what he was trying to tell me was important. It didn’t help make me feel better, but the fact that he was willing to protect me even from myself made me feel safer. The fact that he still defended me had to mean something.

John nodded too, leaning closer to leave a small kiss on my forehead. I shuddered at the contact, heaving a sigh that seemed to light part of the weight from my shoulders.

Just then I grew aware of Buddy’s chin resting on my knee. I wondered how long the dog had been there for, and brought up a shaky hand to pet his head.

I then jumped in alarm when there was a sudden knock on the door.

Now freezing at the sound, I made eye contact with John. We both wondered who it could be, but said nothing. Being rational, I knew that after Gaige, Simone, Delfino, Dominic and pretty much everyone being dead, there was no one else related to the subject that could want to exert revenge on me. But that wasn’t my biggest concern.

Seemingly calm, John slowly let go of me and looked over his shoulder. He then reached out for the bedside table, where his weapon was, and picked it up.

As soon as he took one step, I held him back.

“No, don’t go” I felt myself shaking, just thinking about him opening the door only to receive a bullet between the eyes.

John seemed to consider it, looking from my hand grabbing his arm back to my face. When the person outside knocked again, he sighed in what I recognized as determination.

“Stay here” John whispered, but I shook my head even as I fought back tears.

“I’m coming with you” I stood up, although my knees were extremely shaky.

I didn’t let go of his arm as we both stood there in silence for a second.

John just sighed as he headed for the door, me following closely and holding on to the back of his jacket. We stopped before the front door, watching the silhouette of a man through the semi opaque glass. Then John opened it to reveal Winston, standing there with the gravest expression I had ever seen him compose.

“Jonathan” He nodded in his direction, then turning to me. “Elizabeth”

“I am not turning her in” John said before Winston could even address it.

“She broke the rules, Jonathan” The latter replied, calmly placing his hands behind his back.

“If she hadn’t done it, that woman would have killed her” John still defended me, his voice low but powerful.

Winston briefly glanced over to me, being shielded behind John’s tall stature, before responding.

“And then Simone would have faced the consequences” Winston simply said. “But it was Elizabeth who shot first”

“I don’t care” John roughly said, visibly tensing up.

“I still have to pronounce her excommunicado” Winston pulled out his phone to back his statement. “And you can’t help her, no services”

There was a tense silence in which they stared at each other, seizing the other up. I tried to speak up, but John noticed and took hold of my wrist without even glancing at me. His silent gesture was enough for me to remain quiet.

Winston leaned his phone against his ear and gave the order, not breaking eye contact with John. Still, there was no defiance in his glance, only resignation.

“It’s done” He said, saving his phone back on his pocket. “Take a piece of advice: don’t get involved”

“I’m not losing her too” Was John’s only response before he shut the door on Winston’s face.

“John” I exclaimed, my mind being too frantic to entirely wrap my head around what was happening. “If you help me, they’ll kill you too”

“They can try” Still holding on to my wrist, he took me with him as he walked further into the house again.

“We need to go, r-right?” I shook my head, trying to put my thoughts into order. “I-I mean, after my house, this will be the first place they’ll check”

“Yes” John held his hands on my hips. “Go and grab all that you can, I have to gather some things too”

I frowned, analyzing his expression. There was no regret whatsoever, only love and determination. It moved me profoundly, but also troubled me.

To urge me, John pushed me a little bit in the direction I was supposed to take. I obliged, although begrudgingly, and returned to his room. I stopped at the entrance, watching the bag with my belongings. I walked towards it and took my guns out of it, holding them in my hands and intently watching them.

I reached out so the tattoo in my forearm was visible under the sleeve. I heaved a sigh, letting the reminder to infuse me with the courage I needed. I told myself that the reason why I had retaliated other times was because I would not sit still, but fight back. And even if death was imminent, I wouldn’t go without a fight.

I walked down the stairs to the hall where I reunited with John, who was carrying a shotgun. He looked at me, his eyes halting on the weapons in my hands.

“Fate may be sealed” I only told him. “But that doesn’t mean I won’t fight against it”

John stared at me for a moment, and there was a spark in his eyes as the corners of his lips curved up.

Outside it was pouring with rain, and the noise of the busy streets confused itself with the heavy pitter patter of the water falling.

It felt like we had been holding our breath ever since we left John’s house. Every car that was too close could be the enemy. Every person that glanced at us could have intentions of hurting us. The paranoia only seemed to slightly die down when we sheltered ourselves into the museum. We walked further into it, side by side. I touched my thighs again, checking that the guns and extra magazines were still there, secure in my pockets. Then I moved my hands up to my nape to secure my soaked hair into a braid.

“We can’t stay here forever” I muttered, watching how John carefully eyed every corner we passed. “We’re not all that safe here anyway. What are we gonna do?”

“Stay alive” He replied, stopping before me just as I finished holding my hair up.

“Do you have a plan?”

“Something like that”

“Is the plan improvising?”

John gave me a look, smiling ever so slightly, but didn’t reply. I challenged him with my own gaze but he still said nothing. A few seconds of silence followed.

“The plan is to protect you” To reinforce his words, John took me by the hand and gave it a loving squeeze.

“Well, mine is to protect you” I grinned, squeezing back. “Guess we’re even”

John properly grinned in return as his thumb caressed the back of my hand. Then he softly let go of it, stepping back to recognize the area.

While I let him do it, I tiredly watched the sights of the museum. I felt bad for not having visited it when I could. Before, I had Gaige after me, but now it was basically the whole city of New York. And I had dragged John into it too.

All my wild fantasies of the things I could do if I were free from this world inevitably returned to me. All the things I had missed out on because of the path my life had been destined to follow. All the things I could have done if only I had a normal life.

I noticed a globe not far from me, so I feebly spun it and watched where it stopped. I imagined myself in that uncharted city, indulging in the luxury of letting my mind wander in that precarious moment.

John’s footsteps brought me back to reality. He returned, shotgun still in hand, and gave me a comforting nod. His eyes briefly paused on the globe before returning to me.

I bit my lip as I realized that we were only prolonging an inevitable fate. I was still going to fight until my last breath, but someone would eventually best us. There was no escape from this situation. Not even John Wick could escape death forever.

“Don’t worry” John must have seen my struggle, because he walked closer to me and lovingly held me by the chin. “We’ll be okay”

I opened my mouth, about to reply and reluctantly agree with him to keep my hopes up, when something caught my attention. John’s shoulders tensed up too, as he spied behind him with the corner of his eye.

Moving on an instinct, John pushed me away and quickly turned around to face the people that had entered the building looking for us.

With the force he pushed me with, I fell on my ass. Still, I sat up quickly and picked up my weapons, ready to jump to my feet and back him up. However, by the time I was on my feet, gunshots had already been fired and there were two bodies on the floor now.

Breathing heavily, I exchanged a glance with John before he averted his gaze to reload his weapon. I avoided looking back to the dead pair of people and walked away from them instead.

“We’re not safe here anymore” John muttered, and I knew he was right.

“Next time let me help” I muttered, holding my guns up. “We’re doing this together, remember?”

John smiled just a little and nodded in agreement. He held his hand out, which I didn’t hesitate to take. And together, we exited the building to face our fate. Together.

My loud panting was muffled by the heavy sound of raining. My hair and clothes were drenched and the only think keeping me from freezing to death was the fact that I couldn’t stop running.

They had found us, and this time it wasn’t just two people. It was a group of at least ten, and they were too athletic to outrun them. Risking losing some speed, I slightly turned to them and shot my gun over my shoulder, managing to hit three of them even in movement. John, running beside me, completely turned around to unload the fury of his shotgun on them, getting rid of four. Unlike the three I shot, these didn’t get back up.

Not wanting to leave him behind and alone, I accommodated my pace with his while waiting for him to catch up. However, John took me by the arm.

I stared at him as I kept track of our pursuers with the corner of my eye. The raindrops that accumulated on John’s wet hair slid down to his cheeks as the curtain of hair was now sticking to his skin.

“Run, I’ll catch up” He said, tightly holding on to my forearm, right over the layers that separated his hand from my tattoo.

“What happened to together?”

“I don’t want to lose you, Liz”

“I don’t want to lose you either, John!”

My heart started speeding up when we silently stared into each other’s eyes. The sound of the rain seemed louder than ever before. There was a certain and electric urgency in the air.

“I love you” John finally broke the silence, causing my heart to jump inside my chest. I had been denying myself the luxury of admitting my own emotions, but there was no lying anymore. Not to me, not to him.

“I love you too” Knowing this could very well be our last kiss, I threw myself to him and smashed my lips against his.

His free hand –the one not holding the shotgun –wrapped around me and desperately pushed me even closer against him. My eyes closed as we deepened the kiss and my arms fell around his neck, bringing him closer myself.

The exchange must have lasted only a few seconds, but time stood still. In that moment all I could fathom was him, my love for him, his love for me. In that moment, everything was alright because we had each other. Because we were together. For only a couple of seconds I forgot we were being chased by people who wanted to kill us on sight. There was no imminent death, no danger, no hurry. Only John’s loving and protective embrace.

I frowned when he broke away and began firing his shotgun. I myself lifted my guns up and prepared to shoot too, seeing as they were already firing. One of their bullets reached me in the leg, causing me to stumble and struggle to maintain balance. John was quick to react, though, and wrapped an arm around my waist to keep me up. That didn’t stop us from retaliating.

Still holding on to me, John fired his shotgun and swung me around when he needed to move. I rapidly aimed and fired, reminding myself that this was life or death and it was far more effective to shoot at the head or chest instead of just incapacitating them.

“I’m okay” I muttered, trying not to pay attention to the burning pain in my leg.

Immediately responding to the statement, John let go of me and began reloading his weapon. I stood before him and covered him while he did it.

“I got you” I assured, shooting left and right before they closed the distance between us or their bullets reached us.

Many faceless goons fell, but I missed one of them with my aim and he looked adamant to finish the job. I quickly turned to John when the other lifted his gun. Cocking the shotgun for him when I realized he was done reloading, I then pushed John out of the way just as the goon fired at us. His arm was already reaching to move me out of the way, but too late. I breathed out when we successfully avoided the bullet directed at us.

John didn’t even think twice, he stood up just as fast he fell –not without acknowledging me by tapping my arm –and took care of that one. I faced the remaining five goons or so, who had been previously injured by my gun.

I created some more distance between them and me and swore under my breath when I ran out of bullets. I didn’t have time to reload while they also carried pistols, so I threw the empty gun at one of them and ran towards them.

John had my back, eliminating some of the others, while I took care of two. One tried to shoot me, but I was too close for that and took ahold of his wrist. I rolled onto the ground, still holding on to him to throw him so he landed with me. Once both of us were on the ground, I kicked the gun away and elbowed him in the face, which resulted in a bloody nose.

Just as I separated myself from him, a distant bullet reached his forehead. Assuming it was John’s, I moved on to the other goon. I took my belt off and wrapped it around his neck as this one carried a knife instead. I tightened my hold on his throat, but he broke away by cutting the belt with his knife. I stumbled with the sharp movement, but remembering I had one of my own, I sank my blade on his neck until he stopped struggling.

I turned to the sound of gunfire just as it stopped. My heart continued to race in my chest, and my lungs begged for more oxygen after the physical strain. The rain still surrounded me, continually falling onto my head and drenching me even more than I already was. Part of me hoped the water washed away all the blood and the reminder of the violence, but I pushed that thought away.

I ran closer to the jumble of bodies on the ground, trying to recognize if anyone was moving. I stopped dead in my tracks when I spotted a familiar figure lying face down on the floor, motionless. I was out of breath, my brain frantically working trying to comprehend what my eyes were seeing. What my heart refused to believe, that the bloody person lying in the ground was indeed John Wick.

Tag list: @lea-kenneth / @lookinsidemyhead / @ciccithedreamer / @writerandee / @contanto-que-voce-me-queira / @recentcrib8422 / @anita-e-taylor / @elena-mayfair / @fyspidey / @mell-bell / @yes-captainstark / @quentinbecksass / @buckysjuicyplums / @misfvit / @e-lysium / @alluna-naozumi / @alainabooks143 / @superbateclipseclod / @angelenemies / @hopeinahotbox /

@deaadenn / @spacepari / @piaeforever21 / @thecraziestcrayon / @homeybadger

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 9 - Candy Part 1

Okay:

(Why the fuck does that stretch to the entire column, that’s obnoxious. I’m leaving it though. EDIT: Fixed.)

So, yeah.  As you may have gathered from my previous post, I just finished Meat!  And whatever I think of Candy is inevitably going to be littered with Meat spoilers, so watch out.

Anyway. ABOUT meat. Before I start...

....FUCK.

I’m not going to THINK about what the end of that even was.  What this “other place”, this other story is they might have gone to.  Whether those versions of the others will chase them there, or make it there, or pull them back, or what or even WHERE that last bit at the end was with that Jade thing and the weird powers and if they even ended up in the same place that Dirk was trying to go and how there wasn’t even the deserved comeuppance for all the hurt done and never will be.  People will probably write theories about it that plausibly explain it all.  I might even read them!!!  In a few weeks, maybe.  Or years.  Or never, perhaps. The fucking STATE some of them were left in without resolution or happiness was SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP.  And, Jade.  Jesus Christ, ALL JADES.  Every Jade has a unique way of pounding my stomach to gore.

For now there’s only Candy.  Candy, and this disgusting, cheap Bud Light on the desk next to me.

I’m probably only going to get a few pages in tonight.  I checked the Log to see if there was more in the Meat ending, and I see that the Candy side of things has 41 pages, which gives me some serious hope that this could clear my palate a little.  But I’m not SUPER hopeful.  I’ll enjoy it, but I’m wondering if this twisting in my gut whenever I see or hear anything about Homestuck canon or music is ever going to go away.

Clicking now.  ==>

Candy, Epilogue One.

I’m getting the sense that-- yeah, alt!Callie all but admitted that she’d planted those dreams in John’s mind so that he’d feel the need to DO something, so that he’d close the loop and -- not only defeat English, but -- get close enough to help her solve any problems that the new Gods of Earth C’s universe/reality/whatever-the-fuck-it-is might cause by going cuckoo for coconuts villain with all their power.  God, even the state that JANE was left in is..... D:

Okay, reading.  John goes through the insubstantial rationale for a decision that... was it Dirk who said he’d never pick it?? D:  --because if so at least there’s some hope that, like, there was a real mind split and the timeline diverged, so he gets to enjoy himself or...  god I feel so sick this isn’t helping much

especially with all the subtext littered around here about how this might not matter

maybe i should have gone and read it when dirk and rose gave me the chance in the middle instead of getting all that meat and

ffffffuck.

She buries her nose in the crook of his neck… and starts crying. Huh? She’s definitely sniffing a little, and his skin feels wet against hers.

Wait WHAT THE FUCK.

What the fuck. But she didn’t know. But the Roxy at the end of the Meat path DIDN’T FUCKING KNOW that John wasn’t coming back, WHAT HAPPENED TO HER.

...okay, so are we indulging the fantasies that Calliope was writing on her walls in the meat timeline? It sure sounds like we’re all about indulging the fantasies Callie was writing on her walls in the meat timeline.

CALLIOPE: yoU mUst free the bard from his prison. JOHN: ???

Did he hear her right? He can’t imagine she could possibly mean...

CALLIOPE: gamzee.

..............

Yeah I’m gonna stop reading here.  In fact, I may not come back to it tomorrow, either.  I may not come back to it for WEEKS.  Fuck this.

(Seriously I’ll try to come back tomorrow but this is more than a little disheartening.  And I’m remembering all the hints dropped about what Candy would be like during Meat and stuff like John/Roxy not working out and jesus fuck i’m tired i hope it actually turns out satisfying at least SLIGHTLY when i come back to it......  fuck.  im gonna nurse this beer and engage in all the absurd kinkheavy nsfw homestuck rp i totally do but pretend i dont to maintain a pristine blog persona for my invisible reputation.)

[stargazershiro]

We’ve hit the midway point of @sheithunlimited guys. I think I’m gonna cry. Anyway, another unedited drabble from my fake dating AU. I hope you guys like it! Let me know what you think.

<< Previous Part | Next Part >>

Prompt: Orbit

Keith’s thumb hovered over the dial button. He knew he was going to have to get over himself and make the damn call eventually, but at the moment he was praying that a meteor would strike their apartment instead.

It seemed as if some cosmic entity had it out for him, though. No sooner had he decided it would be best to put the phone aside and come up with some half-assed excuse not to make the call, it buzzed. Lance’s contact photo filled the screen. Keith fumbled the phone a little, accepting the call mostly out of habit.

“Keith! Hey, did you get the invite yet? To the wedding?” Lance’s voice sounded tinny and distorted in that way that told Keith that Lance was using his car’s speaker phone to talk to him.

“Hey, Lance. Yeah, I got it. I’ve been meaning to call you about that, actually.” Keith fiddled with the drawstring of his hoodie nervously.

“Let me guess – you need me to set you up with a date.” Without waiting for a response, he continued. “No problem, bro. Hunk and I actually met this one guy the other day–“

Keith winced, but cut Lance off before he could explain why exactly he thought the guy would be perfect for Keith.

“No, I’m – I’m fine on that front. I’ve got a date,” Keith said, a little more forcefully than the situation probably required.

“Yeah, okay, right.” Lance said flatly. “You’re so hung up on Shiro that I doubt you’ve so much as noticed anyone else. And unless you somehow managed to work up the nerve to ask him, then I’m afraid I must do my duty as your best friend and score you a hot date.”

Keith was silent.

“Wait… Don’t tell me you asked him. I’m so proud of you, man. Seriously. I told you that you should just go for it! Nothing to worry about after all.” Keith could picture Lance’s grin perfectly.

Rationally, he knew he should tell Lance the truth. This whole thing was just going to spiral out of control and he was just going to end up hurt as a result. It was inevitable.

Lance was still talking.

“I mean, you two have been orbiting around each other for ages so I’m glad you guys finally managed to get your heads out of your –”

Keith snickered, cutting off Lance’s rambling.

“I’m sorry, did you just say orbiting?” The sheer ridiculous of the word caught him off-guard.

“Yeah! You know. Circling. A perfectly normal word to use in this situation.”

“Did you and Hunk go to the planetarium recently?”

“As a matter of fact, we did. Last weekend. When you have a membership, Keith, you go every chance you can. And they were showing a documentary on spacecraft that Hunk really wanted to see. But you’re not getting me to change the subject so easily. You and Shiro. Spill.”  

“Nothing to spill, Lance. It just. Happened.” It wasn’t entirely a lie, and Keith didn’t really feel like telling Lance the truth. For a moment, he just wanted to indulge in the fantasy that Lance had created, to pretend that he and Shiro were actually dating.  

“…Okay then. You’re staying at the house that weekend, right? I’ll let Mom know that Shiro’ll be there too.”

Keith swore mentally. He had forgotten he was going to be staying at the Fuentes’ house instead of a hotel room. The Fuentes’ house, whose guest bedroom only had one double bed. He almost groaned out loud. How was he going to explain this all to Shiro?