#and now im considering adding a bit where he writes to Daniel...
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I love that the entire point of this fic was to explain why Hawkeye doesn't have a Purple Heart and it takes like 7k to even. get there
#mash#fic bitching#this thing is a beast#I have all the dialogue for that bit written out#and ive had it written out for a good while now#but christ alive this thing has developed a mind of its own#no thanks to Charles' narrative voice and thought process and internal dialogue#shaking him around by his collar#WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS#and now im considering adding a bit where he writes to Daniel...#sighs deeply as I update the doc#bonking Charles and Hawkeye together like Barbies#this is my Bridgerton.
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HELLO i LOVE dog days and i wondered if you'd share with us anything about your writing process/experience! particularly since it was for a trope you hate? <3
Hello Lovely Em! I'm so glad you liked it, honestly I was so worried when I posted it because it's such a new trope for me 🥴
Putting most of it under the cut because I did my fave thing and got into a bit of a ramble and it's spoilery lol
I didn't know where to start tbh and ended up taking inspiration from our other fave collective trope- hidden omega.
Daniel being a golden retriever was the first idea I had, that felt like a no brainier. I didn't even consider like Australian Shepherds or any other breed.
I wrote it all in one go like the day I claimed the trope...then I just like tagged it for editing and.. left it alone for three weeks lmao. Which worked because I added more when I was editing.
In my vague 'outline' I wanted them to get together during the confrontation scene when Daniel was sick. And he would sneeze and transform again and Max would kiss him on the snout. Daniel was supposed to be the one confessing. But when I was writing it, Daniel was absolutely not going for that 🤣
Max is hurt and betrayed that daniel never trusted him to tell him and that he didnt even try after everything and daniel eventually confesses and says he was trying to protect himself ‘From what?’ ‘You’ ‘Me?’ ‘I love you…and i know you don’t feel the same and i’m ok with it. Honestly.’ ‘What? Daniel–’ ‘Its ok Max. im sorry i like… i should have told you. Im sorry i didnt. I was afraid to make it awkward. But i did that anyway. I’m gonna go.’ “Daniel i love you too’ “You don’t have to–’ “You are so silly. I love you, i have for years. Ask charles.” “Max?” “Im going to kiss you now.” “Ok.” They kiss. Daniel pulls back and sneeze and turns into a dog. Max laughs at him and kisses his snout
All in all this was a fun trope to explore, a wonderful situation to put our boys in. They have lots of cuddles now at home and Daniel gets Lando to spill the beans on him and Martin and Max only knew cause he caught them making out or something. 🤣🤣🤣
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neurodivergence in abc’s lost
i’m gonna be listing off and talking about the canon neurodivergent characters in lost. i won’t be adding characters that i personally headcanon as neurodivergent in some way, what i’m writing here is elaboration upon what has been given to me by the show. please note that none of these people’s conditions or disorders were named in the show, so such diagnoses being named here are me taking that extra step based upon their symptoms
first of all i wanna point out that based on what i’ve seen the show, that the island’s healing powers applies to conditions inflicted upon the mind, not ones inherent to the mind. thats why daniel’s brain damage heals, but people like hurley and locke will always continue to have depression
hugo “hurley” reyes
schizophrenia and depression
our most prominently featured mentally ill character. it might seem bold to label him with schizophrenia when it’s never said that that’s what he has. but during his time on lost, he displays many of the symptoms: paranoia, pathological self loathing, delusions and hallucinations. now, it’s a fictionalized depiction of schizophrenia and that’s probably not even what the writers had in mind but it’s none the less a really, really good and respectful portrayal of it
it would take too long to list off all the times when hurley displays paranoia (heck, it’s easy not to notice how much its a part of his character) and self loathing. delusions? the situations regarding the numbers and his bad luck (canon never ever Proves what hurley believes to be true regarding that stuff)
they did an episode dedicated to hurley having hallucinations. a man named dave who drives him to self destructive behaviour, self hatred and attempted suicide. fun fact: when people with schizophrenia in real life have hallucinations, they tend towards just auditory. hurley gets visual as well as per Rule Of Drama. this is not a bad thing, just a narrative tool
(steering slightly into headcanon for a bit here but i personally ignore the dharma made Hurley Bird they revealed in the epilogue and just take hurley hearing that bird say his name as an auditory hallucination. for two reasons: one, hurley hearing/seeing things that don’t exist is already consistent with his mental state. and two, that bird literally, genuinely did not fucking say hurley)
extra notes
to be clear, in case there's confusion, hurley really does have magical powers. he can talk to dead people. that isn’t a delusion or hallucination. you can understand how confusing and distressing this must be for hurley
he's had a compulsive eating disorder since he was ten due to the pain of his father abandoning him. his struggle with this is well documented
at several points during the show he’s shown to have trouble spelling. he especially confuses his “y(s)” and “ies”. it’s not clear if this is due to poor education or a learning issue. or both, really. it’s safe to assume with him being poor, mexican and mentally ill, that school wasn’t easy for hurley
hurley has unjustifiably lived at mental health institutions on at least two occasions (the first time was against his will, second was volunteer)
john locke
depression
locke suffers from severe self esteem issues, and i know most lost characters do, but i mean to the point of irrational and destructive behaviour. he has an obsession with being deemed special in order to justify his existence. he also suffers jarring mood swings. (he can switch from calm and jovial to angry and defensive at the drop of a hat). when he was wheelchair bound, this threw him into a depression. when he failed to convince anybody to come back to the island, he attempted suicide. he would have gone thru with it too. he will go to extremes to make sure things stay the way he wants them to (killing an innocent woman so they can stay on the island, tying up and drugging boone so he won’t tell anybody about the hatch), and will fall into despair if he fails
also note that the things im saying about locke are not a comment on people with depression. i don’t think all depressed people kill and drug people. those were statements on locke’s character that i believe are a part of his mental state. my point is: he’s emotionally unstable and he tried to kill himself. and i think his extreme need for validation (from people and the universe in general) is especially concerning
to me, this all says to me that locke has clinical depression
locke isn’t as easy as the other people on this list to classify as Canon Neurodivergent but at least to me, i think it’s very obvious. like i feel bad being so vague but like, basically, watch any locke episode
daniel faraday
acquired brain damage, severe memory degradation as well as other neurodivergent behaviours (i’ll go into it)
he’s played by jeremy davies. enough said
okay, jokes aside. at some point in the past daniel and his assistant theresa were involved in some vaguely referred to time based experiments. while she was catatonicized, the accident left daniel severely brain damaged (also daniel spent years doing radioactive experiments without head protection, which would not have helped and indeed that is foreshadowing of this whole debacle)
apparently this left him in a state where he can no longer take care of himself, having been assigned a carer. his most outstanding symptom is that his ability to process short AND long term memory has been impaired
short term: he’s shown to have issues retaining memories from day to day. he wasn’t sure if he had met charles widmore already (he hadn’t). charles lays some exposition on him and when daniel asks why he’s telling him this, charles says, with sureness, that “because by tomorrow you won’t remember this”. counting on that to be an absolute fact seems silly to me but that does seem to the case. again, Rule Of Drama is in play here
long term: he can no longer access memories he formed many years ago, famously the memories he formed with desmond in 1996. all in all, this condition is highly plot convenient. can’t argue with results, really
no, i can keep going, i got more, this is daniel fucking faraday we’re talking about: his ability to remember 3 playing cards has been impaired (note that this is a skill most 4 year olds master), he forgot the secret code the science team were all taught and when he introduces himself to jack there is a long pause, in hindsight implying that daniel forgot his own name
like real life memory conditions, theres varying level to how much he does and doesn’t remember. he’s thankfully not in a 50 first dates situation and doesn’t forget everything day to day. clearly he remembers people if they’re around enough, like during his time on the boat. charlotte, miles, frank, naomi...
upon landing on the island, his memory slowly gets better (considering his condition beforehand, the fact that nobody comments on this is staggering)
when dan is fully healed? i could not say, i could theorize, but such things are nebulous. but still, the times we see dan without his brain damage, he still behaves like a neurodivergent person. just not like he was when he was brain damaged. he stims near constantly, has a tendency to repeat names and words (echolalia) and it’s shown that dan compulsively counts in his head. he counted up to 864 beats, if i remember correctly, which is about 10 minutes of counting in his head. by no stretch of the imagination is that neurotypical behaviour
(im not trying to sound defensive. and i don’t think anybody, anywhere, is arguing that daniel faraday is a neurotypical. unfathomable)
going into headcanon territory again, his ND traits, when not brain damaged, say to me that he’s autistic and/or has OCD and possibly anxiety. thats all theorizing on my part tho. but the fact of the matter is, damage or no, he’s neurodivergent
notes
his apparent need for tactile sensory input is legendary in the lost fandom. in layman’s terms: him pet pet. not just people but objects too. humans, overall, tend to touch things to process input better. many ND people do it more, and it seems daniel is a case of that (i am not making a solid statement on jeremy davies’ neuro state. that’s his business)
he shows an inability to properly process grief
he also shows shocking indifference to his own safety, resulting in reckless behaviour. how much of this is a result of his mental state or his upbringing is up for debate. i think it’s a combo of both
without his brain damage, he appears to have an eidetic memory
danielle rousseau
trauma induced mental illness
pretty self explanatory. the loss of her expedition, husband and daughter, as well as 16 years of loneliness (on THIS island) has resulted in emotional instability for danielle. she’s prone to paranoia, trust issues, irrational behaviour
she’s just not well. she’s right most of the time but she’s not well
libby smith
indeterminate mental state
libby was institutionalized (the same place hurley was sent to) and placed on medication (which seemed like sedatives to me, based on her expressions). in the show it’s not what clear what put her there, but having just done some research, i’ve discovered that Word Of God says that libby became mentally unstable after the death of her husband dave smith. so this is probably another case of trauma induced mental illness. she must have had a pretty extreme episode to cause her to be sent to a place like that. something to think about
but alas, it’s libby, so not much info. moving on
benjamin linus
anti social behaviour disorder (is my best guess)
oof. depictions of mental illness with characters who are immoral are depictions of mental illness nonetheless. i feel almost silly saying this but: ben is not... okay
ben displays issues (at best) with empathy, compassion and morality. how much he cares about other people is highly debatable but one thing that's certain is that he does genuinely love his daughter. everybody else is ????
but the loving alex thing rules out him being a sociopath or having narcissistic personality disorder. and it is genuine because when he loses it with grief, it’s not a performance, because the only audience is us...
he’s a compulsive liar, lying even when it doesn’t benefit him. lying just because. ben is highly unpredictable, which isn’t inherently a neurodivergent thing, but when a person goes from a calm discussion to strangling somebody, all roads point to Uh Oh (i don’t know the technical terms for Uh Oh). many of his outward emotions are performed (the difference between his fake smiles and few real smiles is noticeable). he’s manipulative, he treats people like objects for his benefit/plans, he’s self absorbed, he has zero issues with murder unless it’s a child. he does have some moral standards. but overall, uh, [just gestures at ben]
also ben is repeatedly offended when other people don’t trust him, which is HILARIOUS, but also shows a cognitive dissonance on his part
hmm i need more here, im gonna break out the big guns
that’s some basic info there and doesn’t that line up with ben?
the article goes on to say that people with this can put on superficial charm. that is, behave friendly and “normal” when they have to. which ben is shown to be able to do
and this
“Serious problems with interpersonal relationships are often seen in those with the disorder. Attachments and emotional bonds are weak, and interpersonal relationships often revolve around the manipulation, exploitation, and abuse of others.”
reminds me of his situation with juliet. and locke. and his “friendships” in general
i snipped the wikipedia article for this because unlike the rest i felt,,, underequipped to talk about this sort of thing
ben being mentally unwell is clear enough in canon and i think this disorder is what lines up best with it. please note that ben is capable of change and growth (like people in real life who have such issues) and like the show i’m not gonna paint him 100% evil or irredeemable. i’m just saying what’s true
notes
ben says at one point that he doesn’t dream anymore. it’s highly probably that this is a lie, but if it isn’t, well that's not good. it’d mean his brain isn’t entering into REM sleep properly, which can lead to emotional problems
ben doesn’t blink as much as most people do, something michael emerson did on purpose. this can apply to some neurodivergent people
it’s shown that he was quite nonverbal as a kid. in the flashbacks in “man behind the curtain” little ben barely speaks
honourable mentions
pretty much all the survivors suffer from PTSD due the trauma of the crash
a great deal of the characters suffer from PTSD from trauma in general due to their awful lifes. like, abusive parents, war, loss of loved ones, etc
and i must note that ben, daniel and locke suffering from parental abuse, ranging from emotional to physical, is something to factor into their cases
claire, similar to danielle, also suffered trauma induced mental illness due to the loss of her baby and feeling like she was abandoned
sayid is depicted as dead inside during season 6 due to The Sickness, so thats like a magical form of depression. and one could argue that he already had regular depression beforehand
boone joked about shannon having bulimia. (whether or not it’s true, boone is an asshole) if it’s true, shannon has an eating disorder, which is considered a form of mental illness. espech one so self image based
self harm
self harm is not an inherent part of mental illness but such concepts are often linked so i felt i should mention some of these, it’ll be quick
hurley’s aforementioned eating disorder
charlie takes heroin as a form of self harm (that isn’t a theory on my part, it’s clear as day that charlie started taking it because his sense of self worth was so low that the drugs felt like the only option)
locke, hurley, (both as mentioned above), jack, desmond, michael and richard have all attempted/nearly commited suicide
so what can we conclude from this? well that's up to you, really. that i love lost a fuck ton? that the actors and writing in lost is amazing? that all the neurodivergent based depth got saved for the boys? yeah
but i wanna conclude with this: a part of what makes lost really special to me is that these people i’ve talked out here? they’ve suffered, and oh boy it was tasty suffering, but all of them, yes even libby, were more than suffering
these people have nuance. one way or another, these people (to varying degrees) were happy at times. silly. funny. angry. opinionated. they loved. they were loved. they lived and breathed as human beings. that means a lot to me
lost is a story of broken people given a second chance. take that as you will
thank you for your time
#lost#charthann#missinglost#(i don't wanna lose this so i tagged you guys)#i've made a list like this before but i wanna go into detail#and before i knew it i made an incredible essay#lost headcanons#most of this is based on canon but as i said there is extrapolation at play#and i mention some headcanons along the way when i felt it was needed#gosh this became a whole Thing#i hope y'all enjoy it!#and this isn't counting ppl i headcanon as ND#like jack being autistic or charlie having HPD#i could go into that too
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rewatching joe iconis and family lincoln center performance at 4 am instead of packing or sleeping just to feel something and i have so FEW and so MANY thoughts and yall are gonna hear em all. no i will not put this under a cut. im going to be an absolute bastard about this.
i love the story joe tells about why he's singing mitb as the first song so much. like. the spite of it all. the defiance of it all. the pride of it all. the dig it or fuck off and disappear of it all. the joe iconis of it all.
“i know exactly the song im going to sing as my first song at the american songbook series.” i love that he highlights the fact that this is the american songbook series.
then immediately jumping right into broadway here i come with molly hager, the other song he is most known for!!!
every time i think about this performance i think about how this was the first (?) time this song was performed by them since the closing of bmc.
and then lance rubin comes up to sing try again. which is the only time that i know of that anyone but joe has sung this song.
i remember a remark made during watching it live that having someone else sing the song made it seem so clearly more about joe and his career. but also having lance sing it immediately makes me think of bbh closing early which yeah is part of joe’s career but also lance’s.
and also the line “if you’re an actor and another actor gets the part you auditioned for” reminds me of how lance found the auditioning process of acting and the whole [not acting part] of an acting career to be terrible which is why he quit to then become an author and the juxtaposition of him singing try again is Something. but also he DID try again he is just applying his efforts to a different creative field and it’s working out great for him. good for lance rubin.
lol i haven’t even talked about the actual performance aspect of this song anyways it’s very different from the two versions ive seen of joe doing it. he plays it a lot more comical. i love it.
sidenote not specific about this performance, but i love love LOVE the line and the music at “use the stairs, walk to the street. see the people, feel the heat, and apply yourself again.”
and also the line “when they cast you out to sea, there’s a lifeboat manned by me called try and try again” will never not make me think of bsol/last on land and bonus lance was also in that show! it just keeps circling around.
everything about these past 3 songs performed at this venue in this set list order in this moment at joe’s career is honestly so wonderful. like you had a songs about an anxiety attack, a suicide/loss of self in success, and repeated failures before this song all sung by individuals. two of these songs were written at points where joe felt frustrated/sad with his career. one written in the aftermath of specific frustration about the first closing of be more chill. one an actual song from bmc. like what a SETLIST for your first three songs! fucking michael in the bathroom, broadway here i come, and try again. truly something.
THE WHISKEY SONG!! i love hearing joe sing so much. while i think we can all agree he’s not the most skilled singer there’s something special about hearing a composer perform their own work. he adds like 3 levels of charm to make up for lack of singing skills lol. just a very charismatic guy.
lance rubin back on tamborine for the next bit of the song and he’s like laughing through it. not completely sure what he’s laughing about honestly but this Is a comedic song (after 3 real downers of songs) and also joe was playing it up.
jared weiss down on the floor with his guitar playing along. that’s its own bullet point.
audience cheering as more family members start coming on stage! i love that the band is getting cheers. love that!!!
the camera isn’t on him but from the audio, nick blaemire is presumably running around giving high fives to people in the audience.
i can’t exactly tell with the camera angle and the lighting but i think that more family members get up from different seats in the audience or at least enter in the back and walk through the audience to get to the stage during this instrumental break. reminds me of how joe loves theater that physically touches you. giving you high fives in this case.
love liz lark brown. she plays it pretty like. frenetic and frazzled. love it.
amara, badia, danielle, will, and nick are just chillin sitting on the steps of the stage. 100% contributes to the vibe of this song. top fuckin notch.
SOMEONE screams AH during the drunk part of the song and i cannot figure out who but it gives me so much life.
jared pulling lance down to the floor with him.
jason going “man.... this place is a dump” like i LOVE the irreverence.
everyone actually getting back up and also converging On the stage during the (kind of) acapella break.
and now your whole gang is up on the stage at the fancy ass appel room singing your what sounds like a mostly upbeat fun song but is actually about self medication with alcohol and it’s a fucking jam. i love the 3 solo songs and then bringing in everyone for a big group number.
sidenote not about this specific performance: the lyrics “i’ll pour some more and then—AND THEN?—i’ll pass out and then—AND THEN!” the and thens were not on the things to ruin album and i wonder why not ALL the time. was it just deemed extraneous? or was this an innovation after the album was recorded?
i love that you can see the band singing along.
yesterdays / i can’t relate. i love this song i fucking love it. i love the synthy keyboard that was an active choice made. which means that joe is not the one accompanying jared in this song.
jared: i hate today. joe: *snorts in the background*
“i like music you can hold” -> old records black suits, susannah’s obsession with music which was of course in vinyl format back then
will once said hearing lgw was very exciting because he’s first and foremost a fan of joe’s so he was hearing a new joe song for the first time and the world got just a bit larger and i think about that quote a lot in relation to this song because i was like Oh i Get What He Means now because this is the first new joe song i heard since like getting into his work and i felt that world getting a bit bigger.
jared’s monotone chorus on top of the girls underneath is so good. it’s so fucking good i cannot.
liz lark brown velociraptor fuckin classic. specifically in this performance the weird ass electric guitar noise at “there’s a dinosaur” is SO good. i love it.
i know people say Trans Vibes from next song (jeff) but this song also gives me trans vibes. i think joe inadvertently writes stuff trans people relate to because of his propensity to write for People Who Are Different.
people cheering as will takes off his jacket hell yeah.
i am way more used to the jeremy morse version of this song and really consider it more his so it’s so fun to hear will sing it.
i love the canon of the “oh”s so much.
after will sings “i go to the window looking out and what do i see? myself just staring back at me.” and someone in the audience AUDIBLY goes “oh.” like what a MOMENT. way more subtle than when someone screamed “WHAT” at the “naked korean girl” reveal during the pipe night performance but on the same tier of Great Audience Reactions.
smooth fuckin gliss bro i love it. arms out by side. i love it.
Classic Jason Sweettooth Williams Singing Helen. but this time they added like some REAL like. oh god i have no idea how to describe it. electric crunchy electric guitar noises. and it’s so good.
i havent mentioned this yet but in the background of every song people who are not in it or are backup vocals are just sitting and jamming along and it’s so nice because me fuckin too.
honest to god just have to give a timestamp for this but bullet point for whatever the fuck eric is doing in the background here.
will and katrina circling each other singing directly into each other’s faces. so good.
the Unexpected dynamic change and following crescendo i am Living.
katrina rose dideriksen riffing up top. yes. YES.
joe starting to play helen sharp and then forgetting part of his introduction to the song is so good.
the inevitable laughter at any performance of this song at “it is not lost on me you’re all here at my show”
i know nothing about the movie death becomes her so i honestly always just think about joe when this song gets performed. also thinking about how in the youtube premiere of this song, joe was talking about how lauren was shouting out the names of all the musical theater composers joe is jealous of.
right place/wrong time. i read a bsol review a while ago about how katrina rose dideriksen was underutilized and gotta say i Agree holy Shit let her sing More.
i also remember how joe once said this song felt the most personal to him and that he cried when writing it
police siren piano.
the first time in this entire song they sing in sync is at the line “i wonder if his/her life is just like mine” and i just start screaming.
when eric and katrina turn to each other for the first time and start singing At each other!!!!!!!!!!!
honey! thinking about jen ash tep talking about how Each performance of this song gets Wilder and Wilder.
love it when nick just gets off the stage and starts singing to people in the audience. apparently one of the people was will’s mom lol.
ACAPELLA BREAK!!!!!! joe just fully gets up from piano and starts WILDLY clapping along!!!!
woman of a certain age! i remember when the live show happened the album had not come out yet and then when the yt premiere of it happened it Had been out for a week or so.
piano note elevator bell
the electric guitar is doing some fucking weird ass things in this song and i am living so fucking much for it.
the riffs badia does are so fucking incredible i immediately paused this video to go and watch her sing big fat ruby again just because i wanted more badia content.
the story behind old flame is so good and joe waiting until the last fuckin moment to give her the song is so fuckin funny.
i love love love these types of joe songs that are like 7 minute long story epics like right place/wrong time and the actress and ammonia and old flame.
“the best way to get past the past is to shoot it in the head” and then the audience cheers and i fucking love it. my commentary is getting shorter. it’s 6 am and i’m tired can you tell. i also just had a lot of thoughts about this early on and less thoughts about later on.
revolution song. the deep ass fucking electric bass is So good i Will go apeshit. like honestly that might be my favorite smaller detail of this song. like i imagine if i were in the room it might be loud and deep enough that i could feel it In my chest. like you can Feel the revolution coming.
i love the faster tempo revolution song has in the cabaret version.
i also love the cabaret specific lines of “evolution in the institution”
joey is a punk rocker was honestly not ever on the list of songs i thought would get performed here but im so glad that they did. like the obvious choice would have been veins for annie golden but they went this route. obsessed with this choice. obsessed with the fact that amphibian replaced this song as the act 2 opener. obsessed that annie is the one singing this.
i am never not screaming about wave and yall know this. just throwback to me losing it in the tags in a reblog of picture of the wave passage going on about how it really does mirror joe’s career and bmc specifically. and again this song being performed for the first (?) time since bmc closed makes the “so today on a hill in las vegas” and onward part SO fucking sad i literally just started crying. the entire song being in past tense up until that part. i will just go die now.
will in the yt premiere talking about texting the line “our energy would simply prevail” in the leadup to bmc coming back.
find the bastard. for some reason when this happened live i thought it was gonna be outlaw that was performed.
i swear to god it is literally physically impossible for me not to AT LEAST mouth along to “what’s your name, what’s your name” during this song
NAMES ARE FOR ACCOUNTANTS.
MY NAME IS AWFUL LONG AS IT’S THE LYRICS OF THIS SONG.
the goodbye song. it’s never not sad. i love love love that this song is the final song every concert. i also love the recent lore of finding out that penny dreadfuls was the encore song at concerts before they became too long and it had to get cut.
finally gonna mention the background car lights. what a beautiful backdrop.
also since im always on my wrol bullshit i love how fucking clearly you can hear him at the end
accelerando accelerando accelerando. insert [joe iconis peaked when he wrote the accelerando in the goodbye song post of mine].
katrina singing an octave up is always SO fucking impressive i am so impressed by her voice she is so fucking good i love her so much
the bows are so fucking sweet i love them.
goodnight it’s 7 am.
#teresa talks#also as my life gets Increasingly busier i decide to come back#social media truly a cesspit i can never escape#many no thots head empty full yes no <3#im very tired#iaf#joe iconis
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January 11th-January 17th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive
The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from January 11th, 2020 to January 17th, 2020. The chat focused on the following question:
What’s an unplanned idea you had through your story part way through that forced you to change things? How did everything go?
eli [a winged tale]
After my beta feedback there were some characters that needed further fleshing out with stakes and relationships. Therefore I had to change some backstories to make certain interactions impactful. Thankfully im at the start so nothing i had to go back and fix. I did think of some alternative openings should the comic goes to print but that can be future me’s worries
snuffysam
simultaneously very little and a huge amount, lol. in terms of big story beats, they've pretty much all stayed the same since i first started planning the comic. the twists have been set up and paid off and the like. but there's a bunch of things i've improv'd at the last minute. one notable example that was pretty well-received - in book 2 chapter 4, taci has a fear of puns (basically only shown in facial expressions and a single comment from mizuki towards the end of the fight). this was added because... otherwise the fight at the end of that chapter is just a bunch of walking around in near-identical dark tunnels. the way the fight ends is fun, but the fight itself isn't really anything. with taci having a reason to be afraid of coruby, the fight has more stakes & entertainment value, and it makes coruby feel much more interesting as a character. another huge example is the love triangle in book 1 - in that in the script, it was non-existent. mizuki being into girls was originally only gonna be introduced in book 2 (guess where), and the relationship between cahe and pejiba was going to advance with no real competition (besides bullets). it was gonna be mentioned in like book 3 that she had a thing for pejiba, but nothing in book 1 itself. (similarly to the pun thing, you may notice that mizuki being into pejiba isn't referenced at all in the dialogue besides pejiba saying "i know what mizuki thinks of me" which is kinda vague. i... don't like changing scripts last-minute lol.)
Mei
Not gonna lie, everything I do is entirely unplanned. I focus a lot on improvised comedy and what feels right 'at the moment', and considering I write scripts way in advance, sometimes it leads to jokes falling flat when I read them again a few months later. Which is all fine, honestly, it's part of the process. The main unplanned idea for My Husband is a Cultist was turning it from a 12 page one-shot into a fully fledged webcomic, now with 3 chapters and more to come. It was very 'on a whim', and from that very first chapter I came up with more silly ideas. And the more I talked to friends, the more ideas I had for chapters. So the biggest change personally was going from a pure slice-of-life comedy and spending time actually building the world around it so that there was structure to the chaos. I'm still working on it all. I now have an underlying plot that I'm hoping to explore, and I have the arcs planned out way in advance. So it's wild that I went from 'random ideas spewed on a document' to 'I now have a plot and several arcs to cover'. That being said, I still come up with a lot of things on the fly, so I'm changing things constantly as I go and hoping that there aren't too many inconsistencies!
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
One of the most important story elements of Phantomarine (http://www.phantomarine.com/) came up early in the second chapter, when I was asking myself some more questions about the world - and came upon a crucial opportunity. Luckily I didn’t have to change too much to make it work, and while it didn’t really change the plot, it upped the emotional stakes 100-fold. Which is just what I wanted. In this world, I have a big naval force, of which my heroine is (was?) the future leader - but with relative peace and cooperation between the different island nations, who the heck does the navy fight? Pirates? Eh, maybe. But vanilla pirates have been done to death, and while they can be awesome, I wanted to do something different. I wanted to tie them into the world’s supernatural element - while strongly avoiding the Pirates of the Caribbean cursed-buccaneer aesthetic. I decided to tie them to a particular blight that affects some of the characters - so as to up their stakes and better convey why they’re societal outcasts. And finally, I wanted to give them a freaking awesome name, something both nautical and supernatural. Thus, for those reading - the Fata Morgana. What didn’t even exist at the beginning of the second chapter is now an absolutely crucial story element, and I’m so happy they came into the picture. They’ve changed everything for the better. This is one reason why I resigned myself to revealing the world in bits and pieces - I’m revealing it to myself as I go along, too. It helps to be slow sometimes
eli [a winged tale]
The Fata Morgana introduction in the story was A W E S O M E! I’m so glad you have them in the story and looking forward to that amped up stakes!
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
I think the biggest example would be the last-minute inclusion of Jonathan as a main character in my comic Dark Wings: Eryl (https://www.flowerlarkstudios.com/dark-wings-2/). I had originally planned for him to be a temporary character that we said goodbye to at the end of Chapter 5. But the more I thought about it, the more I realised the main travelling party needed another character to balance things out. I was really struggling with planning future scenes because the pool of characters felt too small. I also realised that I had developed Jonathan’s character quite a lot for him to be dropped so early. So halfway through drawing chapter 5, I rewrote the second half and he’s now a major part of the cast.
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
A second example is Anor in my other comic, Children of Shadow: Ashes (https://www.flowerlarkstudios.com/cos/). He was originally written as a far less sympathetic character. In fact, he was going to be a borderline antagonist who only became sympathetic close to the end. But my characters often do things I don’t expect, and as I was planning the story, he and one of the other main characters, Rava, started falling for each other. I honestly loved this, and so I reworked the entire story to make Anor part of the main cast and much more sympathetic. He’s still a tsundere, and at the point where the story is now, still in constant friction with Rava, but I feel he’s now a much stronger character and is contributing a great deal more to the story than when he was a vaguely ominous frenemy in the original draft.
varethane
ooooo I am intrigued by this factoid about Anor
re: unplanned story elements, in Chirault..... [spoilers obviously] Ridriel and Trillia being sisters was something that hit me out of the blue about halfway through the story, and I immediately reworked a lot of things to make it happen http://chirault.sevensmith.net/(edited)
FeatherNotes(Krispy)
In ghost Junk... We actually avoided a major character death and had revised it literally a chapter before it happened!! We had everything written out right the the very end, but were seeing the readers reactions and reflected on the importance/and if it was absolutely necessary! So with that said, we saved the character, and kept the necessary impact and growth that it was to bring, and honestly- I'm so happy we did it
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
@varethane Yeah, Anor’s character has evolved a LOT since the first draft.
Phu
With Blackblood, we actually created the 2nd and 3rd chapters and then thought we wanted a chapter ahead of those as sort of a prologue to give some world building and lore elements haha. Worked out well i think! https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/blackblood/list?title_no=300252(edited)
Erin Ptah (BICP 🎄 Leif & Thorn)
This is kind of the opposite, since I did the "include a new thing in the story" part first, and that's what forced me to come up with a previously-unplanned idea to explain it... In Leif & Thorn, I had a character drop a reference to "that country doesn't allow interspecies marriages" before there's any canon reference to nonhuman species that human characters might want to marry. ...and even I didn't know what that species was going to be. Had some vague idea about revealing that mermaids existed, but in my head I never managed to integrate them with the rest of the plot or the worldbuilding real well. A few months later, I finally remember that I like drawing Tiny People (not like hobbit-size, think Borrowers-size), and realize this is the perfect setting to have a Tiny People Species! Now I get to come up with plot-based excuses to draw them wherever/however I want. Plus it opens up a whole new mine of jokes: https://leifandthorn.com/comic/somethings-cooking-26-29/
Can't for the life of me remember where I got this quote from, but there's an author who, when readers would ask for details about future developments in her books, would only give answers with the disclaimer "I reserve the right to have a better idea." Words to live by.
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
Damn, I love that quote.
DanitheCarutor
Admittedly there isn't a whole lot I've changed, maybe a couple small things here and there, but major stuff has been the same since I started. During the very beginning of the planning phase Daniel wasn't even going to be in the story and Julian was going to be homeless, but I wasn't quite satisfied with it. The story would have been too short, contrived and the resolution didn't feel satisfying. After some brainstorming and reflection on my feelings on certain experiences I've had, I added Daniel and 'The Guide to a Healthy Relationship' as it is kinda fell into place. It's weird thinking about how important Daniel is in spite of how new a character he is. Usually it takes me a little time to build one up before throwing them into a story, they gotta age like a fine wine first, but he popped out all ready to use like one week hooch.
Not sure if it counts, but I've also made changes to future parts of my comic. Like recently, even though I know what the ending is, I put a more final image in my head on what the final frame will look like. Also I changed an event that will happen at some point revolving around Apollo and his friends. Originally something skeevy was going to happen with Brandon and Apollo involving video uploads, and a homemade contract that was signed with Apollo was drunk. I thought it was too... I dunno, stupid? impractical? So I changed it to Julian was going to (unwillingly) attend a party at Brandon's (Apollo's friend) apartment, then some big, jealousy induced fight happens where Julian gets kicked out and Apollo feels bad. I didn't like that either, felt too reaching, so I'm going with another event that is a little out there but does happen in real life and something I have done some good research on.
Gonna be as vague as possible because it's spoilers.
keii4ii
Surprising myself is pretty much every step of my writing process. For good or bad.
I do plan things in advance, but find that sometimes things aren't what they seemed from 15 chapters ago.
I think what it is is this particular comic is such a visual story. I could plan out my previous comic with far greater accuracy. That comic was more dialog-driven; you could convert it into an audio drama with minimal changes, and it would still make sense. Whereas my current comic, you can't turn it into an audio drama without very VERY extensive changes (not even sure if possible... Many silent scenes). So I need to actually draw the pages to feel it out. And I can't draw out of order. Brain just won't that way.(edited)
carcarchu
totally agree with you @keii4ii sometimes u have to actually draw it out to get a feel for it. when i write out all the dialogue for my chapters i feel like it always ends up coming out so stiff, thats why i prefer to let it flow naturally and if something happens that i didnt account for just roll with it and adjust the story accordingly
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
I'm kind of weird about always needing to know exactly how many pages a chapter is going to have, so I script right down to the panel. It can create flow problems on occasion, so I wish sometimes I could plan my pages more visually, but my brain just doesn't work that way. >< It's a good thing my stories mostly rely on dialogue because they're pretty much novels in comic form.(edited)
Cronaj
When planning a scene at the end of Chapter 3 of Whispers of the Past (https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/list?title_no=191366), I was having a hard time writing the dialogue. I had the images of my lead characters, Agatha and Izrekiel, talking by the docks in the moonlight, and I knew generally what they talked about, but I couldn't script it. And then, one day while walking to work, my characters straight up had the conversation in my head! And as the dialogue unraveled, the characters (mostly Izrekiel) did something completely unplanned (which I won't reveal because spoilers). This unplanned change has completely upped the drama and sexual tension for the entirety of the future story. The second event of this is in Chapter 2, where Izrekiel is helping out on Kelan's farm. Initially, there was going to be some dialogue that mostly served as world-building, but when actually writing the scene, it occurred to me that they would likely not talk too much, too absorbed by the work of harvest. And then, I suddenly visualized/heard Kelan and the other farmhands SINGING. I don't know why it popped in my head that way, but they began singing a working song. Now, I am not a musician, but I used to sing in choir and do musicals and such, and like half my family members are musicians, so I have a bit of a musical background. Anyway, all this to say that the characters started singing, and in response, Izrekiel (who has amnesia) has a flashback to some repressed memory of men marching and singing the same song, with altered lyrics. This can get extra spoilery, so I won't delve too deep into what his memory means, but.... The lyrics go as such: Oh earth, oh rain, Oh sun in the sky, You grant me with your fruit In this land. And they are directly mirrored in the flashback with: Oh strength, oh grace, I'll raise my sword, With victory in mind In this land.(edited)
Deo101
For me, I totally changed the ending! I was going to make it a tragedy, and then at some point I realized I didnt NEED to... that a story can be happy and good. So, I rewrote a ton of stuff, and actually ended up adding in some new characters! I'd say It's gone very well ^^ I'm much happier with everything now (for one, I can think about the ending without crying!!) I've changed a lot of other little things as i've gone along too. too many things to count, really.
Tuyetnhi
Initially I was writing the story timeline to 5 days but it spanned to something about a year. Which means I had a chance to develop it further than trying to rush plot points. Used to be like 3 chapters originally but now its like ....I guess 20 chapters? I don't remember the full count but lmao I'm ready to endure.(edited)
varethane
most of the biggest changes to Chirault were decided on during the first 3 years of me making it..... I completely threw out the first plan I had made, lol. There was no specific trigger for this, except maybe for 'I don't like this, actually'
keii4ii
Oh! I remembered something specific. My tiger character used to have a 'generic lean-ripped' build. Kinda like the rabbit from Juuni Taisen. Then I posted a random beach day picture, and someone (who wasn't used to seeing characters with visible leg muscles... A lot of comics they read have characters who suffer from Skipped All The Leg Days syndrome) pointed out how insanely muscular his legs were. I ran with it. Today his legs are 2x bigger than they were in that beach day pic, and it's all muscle. Also while this character stays very lean throughout the story, I as the author guarantee you that if he were to put on fat, his thighs will be the first to expand, and the most. 8)
Tuyetnhi
omg
Cronaj
@keii4ii I'm so glad for this change. Lu's legs are majestic
Capitania do Azar
Interesting replies here
In o Sarilho https://www.sarilho.net/en/, I have avoided one major character death in the first part of the story because I grow super fond of them and also because it wasn't really going to build up to anything... Which felt really unfair. So now I had to come up with narrative lines for them and I'm quite enjoying that. Furthermore, I was halfway through chapter 3 when I figured out Eurico's looks but especially his role in the story. It involved drawing a lot of trucks (and there will be more trucks in the future) but I'm really excited for him as a character
Desnik
As I was writing my comic I was trying really hard to keep the POV limited to one character, but that character doesn't have enough perspective to set up the plot very well at the beginning. This meant hopping POVs to some other characters and now I'm gently trying to squash a lot of these subplots before they go completely out of control...
#ctparchive#comics#webcomics#indie comics#comic chat#comic discussion#comic tea party#ctp#creator interview#comic creator interview#creator babble
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Safe - Chapter 10 - Red & White
Got a bit stuck, and college happened, so sorry for the delay. Hope you enjoy it. Might end up re-writing the beginning of it, so I'll let you guys know about that when I publish the next chapter.
Warnings for violence and injury here. Sorry.
AO3 Link
All Chapters
Red and white. Blue finding green. The flash of teeth.
With a snarl of rage, David threw himself at the intruder, sending them both crashing onto the ground in a flurry of teeth and claws. Lunging forward, he dragged his fangs across the other wolf's face, drawing blood and earning a yelp of pain from them.
In the corner of his eye, he saw the blonde woman racing over to Gwen and the Quartermaster. Good, they could-.
Painteethneck GET IT OFF
The feeling of jaws clamping onto his neck startled him back into focus, and he lashed out, feeling grim satisfaction as he clawed deep furrows into the other wolf's chest.
A savage kick in the ribs sent him sprawling backwards, and the white wolf lunged towards him. He darted away, and the other yelped as they flew face first into the dirt.
Both wolves collided in a savage conflict of teeth and claws. They grappled and rolled, trading bites and blows with all the ferocity that wild animals should. David lost himself to it, let himself fade out of humanity as he focused on the sole need to protect his own.
There was no telling what the other one wanted.
They tumbled into a ditch and the white wolf yelped as the back of its head struck a rock.
David didn’t waste time. He grabbed them and slammed their head backwards over and over again, feeling sick with every dull thud that met his ears, but not stopping until the wolf went limp.
He stood over them, panting and bleeding, his head spinning with adrenaline.
Up above, the weighted, roiling heavens split, and the first few drops of heavy rain hit his head.
They weren’t moving. David’s thoughts returned to clarity, bringing with them a cold fear.
They weren’t moving.
Whining, he bumped his head agains theirs, listening for anything that could dispel the growing tightness in his chest.
The soft puff of breath against his ears made him sag with relief. They were alive. Probably concussed, but alive. That was the important part.
Carefully, he picked the wolf up and carried them out of the ditch on his back. The rain was picking up, but it wasn’t seeping into the ground just yet, so despite the sting of his wounds, there was little to trouble him as he slowly made his way in the direction of camp.
Some five minutes later, he was startled by the sight of the Quartermaster stepping out from behind a tree. The other wolf almost slid off his back.
“Guess you got ‘im,” the old man said gruffly, searching through the pack slung across his shoulder and bringing out an abnormally large dog muzzle that David did not want to know the origin of. “Shame. Wanted a new rug.”
He couldn’t help the low growl that rumbled in his chest. It did little to faze the man as he walked forward and slipped the muzzle over the white wolf’s face. David caught a whiff of the herbs that was stuffed into the cage of it, and he turned away the moment he started feeling dizzy.
“That’ll keep ‘im out of it. Least ‘til he’s in a better mood.”
David didn’t comment. He just shouldered his burden and kept going, noting the way the Quartermaster’s footsteps abruptly ceased, but not bothering to see if he was still walking behind him. He wasn’t. He’d be back at camp by now, probably. It was just best not to question it.
When he finally stepped out of the woods, the Quartermaster had already set up a large bear cage behind the counsellors’ cabin. The rain was pounding mercilessly on the ground now, but David was thankful for the cool water running along his wounds. It would save him some trouble cleaning them.
“Get ‘im in,” the Quartermaster grunted as David approached. “I got a first aid kit.”
David did as he was asked, padding into the cage and letting the other wolf slide onto the metal flooring. Their coat was still stained crimson.
“Kids’re in the cabin,” Quartermaster said bluntly as he knelt down beside the wolf’s head with a red metal box.
With a soft huff, David, nodded, then left to go to the counsellors’ cabin. He could hear voices inside; most raised in demand for answers whilst one – Gwen – tried to placate them all at once. A high-pitched voice – Neil, clearly – was yelling profanity whilst another woman was telling him to shut up, all flying over Max’s shouts of ‘where’s David?’
Honestly, he left them alone for ten minutes, and they were at each other’s throats. Huffing, he stood up and fumbled the door open, trying not to bristle at the wide-eyed stares that found him as soon as he stepped inside.
“David!” Max yelled, rushing over to him and thumping his fists Against David’s rain-soaked chest. “Don’t ever do that again, you fucking moron!”
For once, David didn’t chastise him for the language, instead leaning down to press his muzzle into Max’s hair. It was damp, and he wasn’t wearing his hoodie. What had happened?
He looked up to find Nikki and Neil staring at him from the couch, the first with mild fear, the latter with disbelief. The blonde woman was also staring. David recognised her; Jen. A friend of Gwen's whom she'd met six years ago just after all the hooey with Daniel. She'd... been nice, actually. Fierce, energetic, odd sense of humour; it was a shame she hadn't decided to actually become a counsellor.
What was she doing here? Didn't Gwen say she lived all the way in California?
Gwen must have caught her staring, because she walked over to pull Max away from him and looked at him pointedly.
"The feral went after Nikki," she stated, and David felt his insides churn. "Don't worry, she's not hurt. Just... just shaken up. The boys are fine too."
"Fine?!" Neil spat. "Nothing about this is fine!"
"Hey, you're not maimed or mentally scarred beyond repair," Jen snarled back, "In situations like this, that's considered 'fine'." She looked away, scowling through the window which faced the cage. "Unlike some people..."
"Jen," Gwen sighed. "I'm sorr-."
"Don't be. This is my fault."
"Damn fucking right, it is!" Max shouted from where he was all but hiding in David's mane. This time, David gave him a small bark of warning, which went ignored. "What the fuck were you thinking, letting that bastard loose like that?!"
"Mrgraargh," David growled, pushing Max away and giving him a firm look.
"I thought he'd be okay on that island in the lake," Jen said quietly, still looking out of the window.
Gwen interjected, "None of us got hurt,-."
"Except David!" Max interjected, gesturing to David's injuries. The blood was starting to seep into his fur again, and with no rain to wash it away, the stains were growing.
Gwen ignored him. ",-and you were out of options, right?"
"Yes," Jen nodded.
"So, we can all understand why this happened, and that it’s no one’s fault," Gwen concluded loudly. "Right?" She added sternly, shooting pointed looks at Neil and Max. Begrudgingly, both boys nodded. "Good. David, do you want me to help bandage those up?"
David nodded, and followed Gwen into the bathroom. One last glance over his shoulder told him that the kids had huddled up together on the couch, all staring at Jen with varying levels of suspicion. The woman in question had retreated to an armchair, still staring out of the window as she hugged herself tightly. The creases along her forehead were cause for concern. Was the wolf someone close to her? They had to be, why else would she be so worried?
Gwen closed the bathroom door, cutting off his view and his train of thought.
"It's Daniel," she said quietly. "The freakshow from '16. Remember him?"
Like David could ever forget. The smell of rat poison that he'd so desperately ignored, spiked jealousy in his chest, news articles that he'd seen too late. Regret and loathing. The harsh tones of a violin.
Daniel... a wolf... He hadn't been one six years ago. Had David done something? He couldn't have. It had almost been a new moon, then.
Gwen seemed to notice his fear. "He got bit about a year ago," she supplied. "In prison. You had nothing to do with it."
It probably shouldn't have, but those words made him sigh in relief. Immediately, he felt rotten for it.
"Let's get you cleaned up," Gwen said, walking over to the cramped, claw-footed bathtub and turning on the shower. David clambered in and let her rinse away the blood quickly, then she grabbed a towel and dried him off as well as she could. "We can replace the bandages when you turn back."
Grunting in agreement, David stepped out and nosed open the mirror cabinet.
"Thanks, pal."
It was a simple matter of Gwen wiping disinfectant over David's wounds and wrapping bandages over the deeper ones. The bites on his neck were deep, but not dangerously so, and Gwen eventually left them alone after five minutes of poking at them with a pair of tweezers, trying to figure out whether or not they’d need stitches. Eventually, she was done, and David was set free. Max was quick to drag him over to the couch, right in front of Nikki and Neil.
They stared at him. He stared right back, head tilted to one side.
"Hey David," Nikki said, her voice quavering.
"Rrf," David replied, leaning forward. Neil shrank away and placed a protective arm in front of Nikki, but his sister reached out for him and placed a hand on his nose, eyes wide with wonder.
"Awesome," she breathed, and a wide grin alighted on her face.
#safe#camp camp#camp camp fanfic#my writing#cc david#cc daniel#cc jen#cc gwen#cc max#cc nikki#cc neil#mild violence#mild blood#safe fanfic
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