#and now im nearly 25 and all of those men are still in there. in that mine.

[andromedasummer]

they better fucking release the information worksafe refused to use in a possible case against the pike river mine owner. fucking disgrace they let him just pay the families of the dead and go on like nothing happened. the place is so fucking unsafe 13 years later they still cant recover the bodies. send him to prison.

[osamiiya]

Requested by anon

Pairing: Sakusa x Reader

Warnings: Timeskip spoilers!

Summary: MSBY has a free practice, and decides to play Hide and Seek, Sakusa's s/o, who is unnaturally good at hiding is the last to be found, but not without causing some worry.

A/n: Ty for the congratulations, anon 🥺 Your idea was so cute I hope I did it justice

"...23...24...25!" You hear Hinata call out from the doorway to the gym, opening the door, his footsteps all you hear as everyone stays silent and still so they won't be found.

'Im totally going to win.' You think, tucked away in between some practice mats and the wall, the space just big enough to fit you along with some wiggle space.

When Sakusa invited you to free practice, you should've assumed that either Bokuto or Atsumu were behind it, wanting to play hide and seek with you.

Infamous throughout the team for scaring Sakusa just by sitting next to him on the bench silently, Sakusa not noticing until you were right next to him until you spoke. He nearly fell off the bench that day, Bokuto boasting that he got it all on video.

"Meian I found you!" You can almost imagine the captain's polite smile despite being found first.

The sound is muffled and you can barely hear Bokuto's cry of anguish and Hinata finds him.

Deciding to zone out until they find you, underestimating how quickly Hinata would find everyone.

"Y/n!" Bokuto calls out.

'Nope, I'm not falling for those cheap tricks.' You huff, it's clearly a ploy to get you to reveal your amazing hiding place.

Staying quiet even as Atsumu opens the supply closet door and takes a quick look inside, not bothering to look carefully, there's no way he assumes.

You're growing tired of hiding, the sounds of their voices being muffled as the group of grown men travel through the bug gym searching for you.

"I'm telling you Omiomi, we saw them actually go hide. They're somewhere in the gym."

"And you didn't think to follow them or see where they his." Sakusa hisses through his teeth. They've been looking for over 20 minutes, and you weren't anywhere.

Tomas even lost at rock paper scissors and went into the ladies bathroom to look for you.

Sakusa's hands were fidgeting and he was playing with the hem of his practice shirt, growing more anxious by the minute.

'What if they were kidnapped?' It's a bit far fetched, but Sakusa's mind goes to every possible scenario, just causing himself more anxiety.

"Atsumu did you check the storage room?"

Atsumu rolls his eyes and nods, this is the 5th time Sakusa's asked.

Meian smiles kindly and suggests that Sakusa go check again, if it would help his nerves.

The door opens again and you hold your breath slightly.

"Y/n are you in here?" It's Sakusa this time, and he sounds panicked and it's enough to have you pop out of your hiding place.

"Oh thank god." He breathes out, the tension in his body melting away as he grabs you by the wrist and pulls you into him, not paying attention to the dust accumulated on you.

"Did I win?" You squeak from his tight hold.

"Idiot, don't ever do that again, we were looking for forever."

Practice is over by this point, and Sakusa's the first to leave the gym, scolding you lightly, just because of how worried he was.

You get home and he ushers the two of you into the shower, scrubbing shampoo into your hair and finally relaxing fully.

He takes his time to dry you off after, doing your skincare for you, hands wandering on you, not leaving once.

No, really. He accompanied you to the bathroom, demanding you hold his hand.

"This is the least you could do after causing me all that worry." He sighs as he lays down behind you on the bed,pulling you into his chest.

"Did you worry that much?" You smile slightly, finding Sakusa's actions endearing.

He buries his face into your shoulder before replying.

"I thought I lost you. I didn't know what to do."

It's mumbled because he's slightly embarrassed that he was on the brink of full blown panic just because you were a good hider.

"But you found me, you always fine me." You coo, reaching behind you to stroke his raven curls.

He hums in satisfaction, and Sakusa feels his face go hot.

"I'll always find you." He grumbles, feeling tired after all that panicking.

"See, you'll never lose me." You reason, feeling him nod and plant a kiss on your shoulder where his face was buried.

"Now let's sleep. I'm tired."

---

Permanent Taglist:

@sachirou-senpai @prayerofthehaim @ryusex-wife @x-ia-n @wompwomphq

[the-acid-pear]

Scarface was too fucking boring, didn't make it past chapter 3, but that's good, because that means Baki-Dou time 😍

Time to read the fourth book in this series! Excited to see Musashi <3

Chapter 1

COLORS

Baki please stop flexing

A FELLA SAYING THE SAME I SAID WHEN YUJIRO PULLED HIS SOB STORY, FR GO TRY SOMETHING ELSE! What happened with that whole "i don't care about fighting" eh Baki?!

Chapter 2

HOHO ALI JR???

ah no :/

HOLY FUCK is this quality bad!

He wants to taste defeat i see

TOKUGAWA PLEASE STOP SMOKING

Oh they removed the... Egg in the back of the neck, nice

God this guy's tits so fat 🥵

FINALLYYY HOW LONG SINCE WE SAW A FIGHT IN THE ARENA? A PROPER FIGHT I MEAN

Chapter 3

He doesn't even know 🐍

DON'T BRING THAT FELLA HERE RETSU KICKED HIS ASS IN TIME. RECORD

Oh i saw fanart of this scene

Baki, it's your fault that you are bored, you fucking teen

This shit boring ME

Chapter 4

Oh, goroukou is a title

I like how the prime minister is becoming a recurrent character

I thought he said babe for a sec-

That little "oh~" is a bit sus, are the old men... No, it can't be 😳😳😳

I'm fucking choking fuck

GOD ALMOST READ THAT AS JOHN CENA 😭

"yes <3"

These ppl never learn

Chapter 5

What a way to go, a la gamzee /j

This dude so weird lmao

FAHDGAHDH king

Dude he has huge round eyes tf you talking bout?

IGDUFSUEASEUURSS he's such a freakkk 😭😭😭

This is the most wtf thing Baki has pulled, remember when this was about fighters fighting? I don't know enough about science for this shit either man

Okay so their hug wasn't Tokugawa being touchy like he is, this guy is even worse, se juntaron el hambre y las ganas de comer HSHAFSFG

Chapter 6

Baki's dead

Katsumi about to kill get killed by my grandpa i see

ALSO KATSUMI OG HAIR WOOO

Katsumi bro don't be so happy over nearly killing him-

I love seeing him get better tho

Uwaadgsgsjdga 😍😳🤤 twisting my hair irl,,, 🥴

Finally Motobe remembered he was a character here 😐

FSGSHDAHDA KOSHO PLS

I LOVE that they got dark lips again

IM SORRY GOUKI HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT EVERYONE?! LTDKFsjyrd 😭

Jack's scar looks cool ngl

Retsu living the good life lmao

AND HOW DO YOU KNOW, GRANDPA?

Hana just doesn't care, smartest Baki character lmao

Idk what they talking bout but good for em <3

Cum basement

Chapter 7

SHOW US MUSASHI'S COCK

Obsessed he thought his heart was failing 😭

Dude you can just hear the heart beat of your friends/opponents just like that? 🤨

Notice Gaia in the top left 🥴

WHY CAN HE RECOGNIZE EACH OF THEIR HEARTBEATS AAHSGA

Thick 🥵

Unironically built different

Chronic back pain if you ask me, that's how I stand to relieve my agony

Did. Did you just call him a femb-

STOP SHOWING ME PANELS FROM VAGAMOND

I love John sm lmao

Mr Musashi has 2 (3?) dads

Chapter 8

HAIRY LEGS 🥴

Those things look like boobs

Bet you would know eh SHAFADB

They jerked off the mummy?

Reminds me of eye surgery

AFjshAFDGAJAHAF

Mf came out the tube ripped af 😭

Chapter 9

Everyone is so feminine lately good ol Kureha fell behind 😭

I like his bandana tho it's cute

OH HE TOO? AND HE'S NOT EVEN THAT STRONG

Fat tits 🥴

Eheojeudkshs 😖😳👉👈

JACK STOP YOU ARE BIG ENOUGH ALREADY

HOLY FUCK

You know like i understand Baki, he is at the highest he can be rn, NO ONE can defeat him, but the rest? Like c'mon y'all just beat each other up or something

Ah, the miracle of birth 😍

Chapter 10

I love how all these two do is hang out together in bars, boybosses

TF IS UP WITH THAT ICE? AHDHS

I love what they have

Hana thinking of getting his 4 limbs broken again i see

WOOO!! Nice cock Mr Musashi 😳

HANAYAMA PLEASE 😐

Chapter 11

I love those freaks

I just now I'm seeing the little scars on his cheeks from the fight with Spec ☺️

I love the fact that Musashi has hair in his legs BUT not his arms like ??? Okay king

Heated scientist moment

HOHO POGGERS 👀

Chapter 12

UTSURAARSDFAFA sibling goals

GIRLBOSS 😍

URAURUSYRSAESGA IN LOVE???

Holy shit she's amazing

Chapter 13

And his ass is very thick too 😳

Those fucking sunglasses, obsessed

Debatable, he got struck by lightning :/

HE WAXES HIS HAIR? OMFG OBSESSED

WHY IS HE WEARING THAT LMAO 😭

Nooo they censored the cock again 😔😔😔

DO IT QWEEN 💅

STOP SAYING SHE'S GONNA FUCK THE CLONE

"I'm exciteddddd" "ok."

Chapter 14

You just hate seeing a girlboss win

She truly is amaizing

Also i just realized spirits have been showing up since the first book so this isn't so crazy lol

MF HOW IS THAT GONNA HELP 😭😭😭

THE LITTLE BUBBLES AND SPARKLES... I BET HE DID 🥺

Chapter 15

WHY ARE HIS TITS SO ROUND AND FAT GODDAMN IT,,, 😳😖

Glad seeing some things never change

He looks so much like Jun

IGSITSURAURZES EPICCC

Someone question if Yujiro knew how too write obsessed,,,

Chapter 16

Goddamn it you got even older in the past 3 or so chapters bro

Mouth to mouth soul transference

OHHH

HIS EYEBROWS FELL HOW IGDUTSITDIYDIGD

Some mf got turned on by this HELP 😭

Chapter 17

I love how Yujiro and Hana are still getting ready to throw hands while this happens lol

Okay yeah that was super disrespectful honestly, guy is having a chat :/

HAHAGSJAHA obsessed

God i thought it was Hana the one grabbing some random lady for a second AFDJSJSSJS

He cute af ngl

POOR GUY MUST BE SO CONFUSED OMFG,,,

Fsr I'm surprised he can talk, like it should be obvious but in all the fanart i saw he never said a word, also, he's so damn respectful 😍

Chapter 18

Idk he was never that clever /hj

Hehehe blood

I love how John can only sit that way

The size of his balls lmao

Coward won't even fight with his dick out smh :/

God he mad cute-

Chapter 19

I MISS THE DEATH ROW FELLAS FUCKKK

Hm i think this random tiny bald man is not Tokugawa but someone that looks awfully similar to him

YEAH NO SHIT I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM, HE MUST BE SO DAMN OVERWHELMED

Apparently there was a cameo, i don't know enough about anime to know or care

Chapter 20

He's tripping balls

Tokugawa should have gone a bit slower with this poor guy, this is like a lot to process at once <:/

Nvm he's doing better than me

Oydirsusefs look at himmm

WAIT A FUCKING SECOND OMFG DIDN'T DOPPO FIGHT THIS GUY?!

SOMEONE ELSE RECOGNIZED HIM HE ISSS

Chapter 21

OHDIRAYEASURRSUURS HE DOESN'T KNOWWW FFS

Musashi be like °_°

LOOK AT THAT SMILE LMAO

He's just chilling, mentally killing this dude

Murder baby

Chapter 21

The way his eyes are drawn is so cool

YRAURSUFSIDTGA

And he jokes too! Wow I'm in love 😍

(nsfw) CAN YOU HANDLE DICK LIKE THAT TOO? 😍

WOW

I TAKE BACK THAT QUESTION

I remember a show where you would bring your own knives and swords and go thru a bunch of test, Musashi should have been one of them

Mf truly is like :]

I love how he didn't buy it

I can't wait for him to fight Yujiro 😍

Chapter 23

He truly is 😌

ATFJAIDQYSF OBSESSED

He was happy this time at least, 5 times he lost already btw

Tokugawa truly in unhateable lmao

Chapter 24

IM SORRY, HIS LEG???

Oh I forgot Musashi does that

JAGSKSGSKSGS HIS FUCKING FACE I CAN'T 😭

I miss when translators would add notes i don't want to google shit myself :/

"I'm hard as rock" /j

Chapter 25

Look how happy he issss

MUSASHI POG MUSASHI POG-

I love how Tokugawa can't believe he got it first try and it's trying to lie now sjdakdyv

This mf is actually making me insane what the actual fuck i don't know what he has but he's gonna make me act up 😳

Mf be shadow boxing too dammit /j

Baki please

Chapter 26

OLD MAN JUST WANTS A PUBLIC TO SEE THIS LMAO

Look at the size of Baki's eyes holy fuck lmao

He's gonna yeet him!

OH NOOOO

FIRST HIS DAD NOW MUSASHI, THIS GUY CANT CATCH A BREAK LMAO

Chapter 27

How little time passed? They have barely moved

Yeah you did it last book too Baki

King shit

Chapter 28

AKSGSKGSJSGS KING

I love how he only now realized

Okay no he has a point

I love how he just calls him boy

Look at that smug face

I trust Musashi but at the same time he, really should be walking around this new world alone. Now, if i were to accompany him... 🥴/j

Baki please

Chapter 29

I love how soft the artstyle suddenly got, like if done big a big brush

Yujiro you just insulted every single anime character in history

Baby Baki's just like "Ok."

I like how Yujiro looks here

AUGHHJF HE'S SO BABY 🥺

HOHO badass

Chapter 30

He died 😔

Idiot hasn't even beat he 0.5 reaction seconds lmao 🤣

HOHOOOOO?!? 👁️👁️

"my curiosity exceed my fear!!" I RESPECT THIS MAN SO MUCH??

Chapter 31

AMAIZING HONESTLY

Fighter to fighter communication

SHIT LOOK AT THE STATE OF THAT HAND

He's just gone now LMAO

I honestly don't mind Baki being weak against this, he never fought against a two handed swordman, this is new territory

Chapter 32

Oh his really tripping balls now this is why he shouldn't be alone

NVM HE'S STILL DOING BETTER THAN ME ON A DAILY BASIS, I HAVE A LOT TO LEARN FROM THIS MAN

I just now realized he's barefoot

Nice ass king

The policemen are quite nice

He's very cooperative but i can't blame the cops either

Chapter 33

Yeah no shit that must be so insane

IF YOU HADN'T DROPPED OFF SCHOOL THEN...

That's kinda funny but idk man he's right i think

He's just like :3

I love how he isn't picking up a fight out of malice but rather just instinct like, he can't understand shit that is going on

YOU ARE SO RIGHT BAKI IT ISN'T BORING FOR ME EITHER

Chapter 34

Don't you fucking dare shave him Itagaki

It's funny how it took 2 books and a half for Baki to start being a protagonist

Holy fuck did Baki add height or is Miyamoto that big?

Wow how perfect i ran out of space just now!! Having fun with this book ngl :]

[lucyskywalker]

Im going to make 17yrs next month, and my vision about GOT have changed a lot. I can write a whole essay, and yes, I still love the characters and the political thing about it all, but let's be honest here:

Dany is 13 and gets marriage and pregnant with explicit sexual content in the books, written since a young age to be a delight. Jorah and Drogo being romamtized by the fandom. Dany is 13, for god's sake, and Jorah is old as fuck and Drogo? Drogo is in the 20, near 30.

Sansa is always sexualized since 11yrs old, and the fandom is ALWAYS engaging and shipping her with older, abusive, predatory men. (When they do not ship J0nSa, in fact)

Arya is 9 yrs old, and expect her to be and act like a fucking adult while she endure traumas, sexual harassament, and more. The Chapter "Mercy" now makes me feel about to vomit.

Jeyne Poole. The same age as Arya, being raped, and trained as a whore to please Ramsay.

Bran being expected to rule a castle at 7? Seven fucking yrs, atracted to Meera even tho a fucking kid really do not feel those things? Rickon acting like he is ten and not fucking 4 to 5?

I actually like a bit of Rhaegar and Lyanna, (or actually, I love the idea I created about them) wouldn't have been much better if she was actually, idk? 20? 18? Let's stop romantizing this relationship. Ship whatever you want, but don't deny that Rhaegar was a fucking idiot and predatory towards her in canon content. Lyanna was 14-15yrs. Rhaegar was 25 and married. He was a father.

GrrM, your world is amazing and full of magic, I love the historic tributes in ASOIaF World building, but really, would it be so difficult for you to write those characters at least a bit older? Where, at least, they are teenagers to young adults and not pre-teens to actually kids?

I've always read those characters as this was the case, because they behave like they are 15 to the nearly 20 since the beggining, but now? Im like? GrrM, were you out of your head when you choose the characters age? Why they have to be so damm young?

[foilfreak]

Headcannons for my favorite One Punch Man rarepair: Golden Ball x Spring Mustachio

Both joined the Hero Association around the same time and knew of each other in passing, due to living in the same city, but didn’t officially meet until about 8 months in, and as a result of that, these two did NOT like each other at all during those first 8 months. Spring Mustachio thought Golden Ball was just another crass and reckless delinquent using heroism as a legal outlet for violence, and Golden Ball thought Spring Mustachio was an entitled rich boy who was probably paying his way up the hero ranks. When the two heroes were finally forced to formally introduce themselves to one another at the first annual Hero Association banquet, or some other equivalently pointless publicity stunt the Associacion probably put on at some point or another, they were shocked to find just how wrong their initial judgments of one another actually were.

Despite Golden Ball’s appearance, what with the bleach-blonde hair, slightly baggy clothes, tall, muscular frame, and the lollipops that Spring Mustachio correctly guesses are a substitute for cigarettes, Golden Ball is actually incredibly intelligent, having earned a master’s degree in chemical engineering (this particular headcanon is inspired by @batneko) from a highly prestigious university (currently considering going back for his PhD if he can save up the money), and all of his signature weapons are his own personal inventions. Likewise, Spring Mustachio, despite having the appearance and persona of someone who grew up having everything handed to him on a silver platter, had long ago rejected the escalator to success his parents had offered him in the form of taking over as head of their family business, in favor of going out on his own to explore the world and everything it had to offer, mastering the art of swordsmanship and opening his own restaurant (where even after hiring a decent sized staff, he still took up menial tasks such as washing dishes and serving guests) along the way.

After getting to know each other at that first meeting, the two heroes became surprisingly fast friends, their personalities mixing rather well together on top of having many shared interested, and even began hanging out outside of their hero duties, where they already spent a considerable amount of time together considering how frequently the Association paired them together for missions. Most of their time outside of work was spent at Spring Mustachio’s restaurant, engaging in casual, slightly teasing conversation over onion rings and a couple rounds of beer after a long day of hero work. Later on into their friendship however, it became much more common for Golden Ball to also come into the restaurant during the day to bother the older man during his shift, not that Spring Mustachio minded the company one bit, especially if it meant having a couple of extra hands available to dry the dishes he’d just washed. It eventually got to the point where it was pretty much common knowledge throughout the city that if Golden Ball wasn’t out on a patrol or sent away on a mission for the Association, the first place you ought to check if you’re looking for him would be Spring Mustachio’s. Likewise if it’s Spring Mustachio you’re looking for and the restaurant is a no-go, try your hand at getting ahold of Golden Ball, cuz wherever he is, chances are that Spring Mustachio is standing right next to him. Its a wonder how the whole city doesn’t start assuming the two are dating when they begin referring to each other as ‘Gold’ and ‘Spring’, during hero work, and exclusively by their first names when off the clock.

The two heroes remain nothing more than close friends for full year after their first meeting, and while both had developed more-than-friendly feelings for one another over that time, neither were planning on doing anything about it, not wanting unrequited feelings to potentially ruin the incredible friendship they’d formed, among the other internal struggles that come with accepting that you’re attracted to other men in a society that, although no longer criminalizes homosexuality, definitely still doesn’t view it in a positive light by any means. Spring Mustachio has been in the closet his whole life and plans to keep it that way to avoid the potential social backlash. Golden Ball on the other hand didn’t realize he was bisexual until grad school and has since only managed to work up the courage to come out to his (thankfully incredibly supportive) family and closest childhood friends. Needless to say neither of them were in the headspace to even think about confessing, especially when they had so much to lose should it not go well, and both heroes were content to simply let their feelings die out over time if it meant that their friendship would remain intact.

Things change however, when Golden Ball’s place gets totally trashed in a monster attack, and the younger man finds himself staying with Spring Mustachio at his house until it can be repaired. Now not only do both men have to deal with their budding feelings for one another, but they also have to deal with their budding feelings for one another while also figuring out how to coexist in the same space, made even more interesting by the fact that Golden Ball has two pitbulls, Gizmo and Tonka, and Spring Mustachio isn’t the biggest fan of dogs (spoiler: Spring Mustachio falls in love with the sweet little puppers and spoils them absolutely rotten, much to Golden Ball’s amusement). Over the couple of months it takes for Golden Ball’s apartment to be fixed the men learn several things about each other that never would have come to light in any other context, including, but not limited to: Spring Mustachio’s extensive collection of alcohol bottles from all the drink’s he’s tried over the years (and of course all the stories that come with those bottles), Golden Ball’s horrific nicotine addiction being the result of an undiagnosed anxiety disorder that got BAD toward the end of undergrad and was forced to come to an end when he had a heart attack at 25, the tumultuous relationship Spring Mustachio has had with his family (specifically his parents) since breaking away from the plan they had created for him, the fact that Golden Ball is easily the biggest nerd that Spring Mustachio has ever met (and probably the smartest too), the brief run Spring Mustachio had as a competitive fencer in his early 30s that Golden Ball thinks he should get back into, the adorable way Golden Ball talks to his dogs when he thinks no one is listening, and so much more.

These things of course only cause their feelings to worsen and the situation just continues to spiral out of control from there. Im torn over whether I want them to actually get together in like a nice, mature way, like they ultimately end up talking abou their feelings to just get them off their chests, you know like adults, or if i want them to confess after getting into a huge fight, like maybe one of them got really hurt and some things they didnt actually mean were said and so they didn’t talk for a bit but then they end up tracking each other down and confessing after the tension finally snaps or something like that. I’ll leave that up for you all to decide but what i will say is that they get together just as Golden Ball’s apartment is finished being rebuilt, but with his lease being up at the end of the month and having already settled rather comfortably at Spring Mustachio’s place, he decides not to renew the lease and just stay where he is, much to Spring Mustachio’s delight.

As for their families, Spring Mustachio tells only his older sister and younger brother, who are confused, but ultimately supportive and happy that their brother found someone he truly loved and wanted to be with. His parents end up finding out somehow and while they aren’t exactly thrilled about it when they first learn that their eldest son is dating another man nearly 20 years his junior, they are, to their credit, polite and avoid making any inappropriate comments on the rare occasions he and Golden Ball do agree to visit the estate for dinner. Golden Ball initially only tells his parents, but things rarely stay secret for very long in his family, and not even a week goes by before his grandparents are calling asking if he’ll be bringing his new boyfriend to the cookout at the end of the month. Spring Mustachio has a fantastic time meeting the plethora of grandparents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, and close family friends that make up Golden Ball’s wonderfully lively family, though he does end up getting thrown into the pool by Golden Ball’s older brothers at some point, as is custom treatment for “new members” of the family. He doesn’t seem to mind all that much, especially when Golden Ball’s mother finally breaks out the baby pictures and he gets to coo over how adorably plump his boyfriend was as an infant, much to said boyfriend’s growing embarrassment.

For professionalism’s sake they decide to keep the relationship on the dl and though the two are rarely seen apart, they save the more intimate moments and actions for behind closed doors. No need to give the press an excuse to start shit.

Let me know what you think of my headcanons and what your headcanons are for this rarepair if you have any!!!

[stumbleintothesun]

Life Rant

For the few people in here...sorry lmao this is long as hell.

Lately I've been feeling like...garbage. I know there's no one on this place that really follows me, so this is me posting to the void.

I have been dealing with a lot of health issues related to my mental health and weight. I've gained nearly twenty pounds in a year, and no matter what I do my weight doesn't budge. I work out regularly, Ive been trying to eat better but...my only thought is its because I'm working a desk job now - which I fucking hate with a fury. And I know my weight isnt the end of the world - it just really, really fucks with my mental health. I've always felt ugly. The only time I didn't was when I was super thin which I know is problematic - and I know that's part of my mental health...like my aunt died from an ED. And my mom definitely had/has an ED even if she's gotten much better about it in the past few years...

And I'm finally getting my face to clear up after wearing these masks for a year - a year! But I'm still dealing with the healing process and I'm anxious it will scar. I've worked this entire pandemic at a job I *hate* just to you know, finally pay off my student loans just go back to school so maybe I can do something I love. But even at 25 and providing for myself, I hardly got any financial help. The only thing saving me is my grades that got me a decent transfer scholarship.

But the first school I applied to wanted my high school transcript, even though I have an associate's degree, and because I'm, frankly, stupid I somehow missed that they needed it. So they threw out my application that I spent an otherwise four hours writing for.

So I'm going to Eastern, which frankly will be better for my mental health, but they don't have a tuition free program. So I'm going to have to borrow money after just finally paying off my single year at a liberal arts college debt that I took on when I was 17 (it ended up being like 30k to pay off). And it's all because I didn't fucking read right. So much for being a good student, I guess.

But it wouldn't have mattered because they would've hardly taken any of my classes despite most of them being from down the road and for an associate's degree! And even Eastern is giving me a hard time, despite my degree they say I don't have the basic level biology course - my degree is biology focused! I'm going into ecology! I have taken genetics, conservation biology, anatomy and physiology, cellular biology but I don't have intro bio? So now I have to test out, on top of working full time. Which is fine, its a good refresher...I'm just so overwhelmed with life right now. I have a stack of over 100 flash cards and I'm just anxious.

This is a year after my partner went through an ugly break up with their old fiance (we were poly), and their ex was an abusive POS who once told them if they came out as anything other than their assigned gender, he wouldn't date them anymore. He gaslit them constantly, made them feel like hell. So we finally got out, but he wanted the house they got together or 10k. He made over double what they make - and he always forced them to pay half the bills, including half of his fucking protein bullshit because it was "groceries." He knew they didn't have the funds. Because our friends are amazing, we were able to buy him off but he left the house trashed.

It fucking sucked, and they were also responsible for getting his name off the house which meant a refinance that we could hardly afford. We got lucky we were able to do it, but they hardly got anything back for it. And it was a *nightmare*. We finally got it done, after pulling teeth and it took six months. Four months longer than they said. And that entire time they were forced to occasionally reach out to him, their old abuser.

Finally we were free, but then I started having further issues at work. Between the pandemic, and working in a heavily red area during the election, I cried a lot. I work in customer service and while I make okay money for the industry, I'm constantly burned out. My colleagues are okay, but it feels stupid to leave just to find a job for three months to go back to school. Then I started being short in my drawer (I'm a teller at a bank). The final straw was being short $500. Now I'm on a work plan, and if Im short again, I'm out. And it's my fault. I don't know how it has been happening. So now I'm always on edge at work, triple checking everything. And I could leave, I could get another job but there's no promise I'll make what I do now, and in order for me to pay for the chunk of school I need to, I have to put away a certain amount every month.

I do have a grant of sorts for 5k per semester to help with bills, which will alleviate a lot once August arrives. And I know I'm crazy lucky to have that. So sometimes I feel like such an asshole about it. But we have a house to pay for and bills to pay. Just like everyone else. Ugh, I don't know.

I talked to my doctor about my weight, came in with calorie intake numbers and how much I work out with zero change. I cut out pop entirely from drinking it every day. Nothing has helped. So we switched my meds from Lexapro to Wellbutrin to see if I lose weight because of that. Nope, just having more mental break downs, steady weight, and my resting heart rate is abnormally high, stopping me from making a little extra cash donating plasma. So now I'm switching back to Lexapro with nothing gained other than. You know. Feeling like shit. Next up? Birth control coming out of my arm. Don't really need it anyway. And maybe that will help? But I don't think so. I'm not sure what to do.

I am genuinely trying to be healthy, eating more whole foods. More veggies. More home cooked meals. I love to cook, I'm just tired. And sometimes the air fryer and oven baked frozen foods are too easy to pass up. I'm trying to always eat breakfast. I'm working out again, we have a gym membership but there are so many men there and I dont always feel comfortable, because my partner has been anemic and they can't go yet. So I use our bike in the living room and do home workouts.

But when I did this last time there was zero change in weight or anything. Even when I ate really, really clean for three weeks and worked out for most days, tracking calories and everything. Nothing changed. My thyroid is fine, we've already checked it. I'm just tired.

This past year, other than being with my partner has fucking sucked. And this doesn't even cover all the shit they've dealt with with switching to they/them and a name change. I love them so much, and love that they are finally comfy but their parents were assholes about it. And that matters. It does, and I get it. I just wish I could help them more. I wish we had a break, a breather for longer than a day. Even then I can't relax, I'm too on edge. There's too much to be done. I need to earn money, I need to clean, I need to focus. I need to be productive in some way to justify if I'm not working on those things. It's...all dumb.

[the-angry-pixie]

camboy AU... but make it romantic

Camboy Bill AU feat. the OT7.

- basic stuff really

- Bill is a camboy (billoncam) on those websites that I don’t know enough about to be able to give a name.

- and he does sessions every few days in private chatrooms

- mostly solo stuff - either a vibrator or dildo in his ass whilst jacking it to the camera

- his fans love him because he is really chatty and responsive. and when he gets really turned on, he stutters. he always moans and thanks the person when someone sends him a tip - its like the tip button is directly connected to his vibrator, the way he moans every time it *dings*

- he has regulars. people who always seem to tune in and leave lots of tips. he comes to recognise their usernames.

- “welcome mikey-mike. i hope you’re having a good week.”

- “its good to see you again bigdickrich, what filthy things are you gonna say to me today?”

- stuff like that.

- he holds competitions among viewers - whoever gives him the most tips in a session gets to choose a name for him to call out when he cums

- as a result billoncam ends up moaning out “oh fuck carsforeddie! oh fuck you feel so good carsforeddie! oh fuck OH FUCK!” a lot.

- like previously stated, he’s known for his highly interactive solo stuff but every now and then his audience gets a guest appearance from other people. it always seems to be the same guys but we never get to see their faces 

- one has lovely golden skin that matches his golden curls that Bill loves to grab onto when he’s fucking him

- the other is this buff dude with dark blonde body hair that makes the most delicious sounds when he’s railing Bill

- thats right, billoncam be versatile as fuck

- even more versatile than first anticipated because one time during a session Bill is holding a photo on his phone up to show the camera and he accidentally swipes to the next photo which is of some redhead woman lying on a bed in lingerie

- the comment section goes wild and Bill is like “oh fuck, oh fuck you weren’t meant to see that, ah ha ha ha lets forget that happened pls” and he goes on with the session. trying to ignore all the questions hounding him about who the fuck that was and why was she on his bed??

- two days later when billoncam is next scheduled to cam it is immediately obvious that things are very different when the session starts on a shot of Bill sitting fully-clothed talking straight to camera

- “thanks for tuning in everyone. I just felt I wanted to do something a bit different today. There’s been lots of discussion and questions about what happened the other day and I’ve thought about it a lot and have decided that I would like to be honest with you. This is a part of who I am and I don’t want to feel ashamed of that. So the truth is... I’m bisexual. And this...”

- Bill holds up his phone showing a photo of Bill and the redhead from the lingerie photo hugging each other and smiling giddily at the camera

- “... this is Bev. She’s my girlfriend.”

- again, the comment section goes wild. Obviously Bill has been camming himself on a website for gay men and well... gays can still be mean and weird sometimes when it comes to bisexuality.

- “I know. I know. It’s not what you’ve come to expect from me. I’m sorry if you’re offended or something. Well actually I’m not sorry at all. I would never be sorry for being in love with Bev. She’s my rock. We’ve been together for so long and she means the world to me. And the only reason I’m showing her face on here is because she’s given me full permission. In fact she has her own camming channel. Which I can link you to if there are any fellow bi’s out there.”

- Because the internet is the internet, Bill notices he’s losing viewers quickly, but he’s kind of happy to note that some of his regulars are among the ones being super supportive

- sitonthis: you’re not really gay. get the fuckk outta here!

mikey-mike: thanks for being honest with us Bill. I’m bi too and some people on here need to be quiet and stop being rude.

erotic-cum-on-my-hole: where’s the dick??

bigdickrich: daaaaaaaaaaamn Bill. she’s fuckign hot! gimme dat link please >______>

br000ny: sick of these bi s trickin on us. im out.

carsforeddie: YO EVERYONE NEEDS TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE BILL ALOONE!@! WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO DATE BILL?! HE’S FUCKING GORGEOUS AND PERFECT!! I SWEAR TO GOD YOU ALL NEED TO MEET ME IN THE PARKING LOT RIGHT THE FUCK NNOW!!e@!

- but it doesn’t stop there. Bill has more to tell. He doesn’t get naked at all that session. But he does come clean about being polyamorous. Apparently Bill and Bev were together for years before she started dating Ben. Who then eventually started dating Bill as well (mystery solved on who buff dude is). And then a little while after that Bill started dating Stan who also began dating everyone else eventually (mystery number two solved on who golden curls is)

- of course to respect privacy Bill doesn’t give names or photos for those two (they’re not into camming and only ever fuck Bill on cam as a favour cause they know Bill loves it so much). But he does wax poetic for a further half an hour on just how much he loves all his partners and then unexpectedly signs off.

- billoncam disappears for awhile. his sessions just suddenly stop. his fans reckon its probably got to do with the negative response he got to coming out as bi. 

- they try to reach out to him on his social media but never with any luck. its funny, billoncam’s sessions have weirdly become a bit of community thing. its strange. the regulars all kind of know each other and it feels wrong to not be coming all together (pun not intended) a few times a week on Bill’s channel. but whatever, it doesn’t matter anymore because it seems billoncam is no more. he’s been scared away.

- struggling radio personality Richie Tozier is definitely not expecting to run into Bill aka. billoncam in a random Los Angeles Starbucks one day. But he does. Thats him. That’s totally fucking him. The only way Richie could be more sure is if Bill whipped his junk out in the middle of this cafe.

- Richie is so stunned he can’t even think what to say. How to approach this guy that he has been jacking off to for the last year or so. 

- He ends up chasing Bill down the street and kind of pouncing on him. 

- Bill is understandably wary at first. But of course he’s kind of charmed by this nervous motormouth with his ridiculously syrupy-looking frappuccino concoction. Its strange how familiar he seems. He almost whispers the name to himself just as Richie practically yells “Oh by the way. I’m bigdickrich. Did I mention that? I might have forgotten to mention that. Fuck!”

- And well, a week or two later... billoncam makes a comeback suddenly.

- And he’s got a companion. A companion who is showing his face. Bill’s regulars know they definitely haven’t seen this guy (or his body) before but they don’t mind at all since the session is so much more intense because they can see both participants for once. And this new guy is very cute. In a hairy, gangly, bedraggled kind of way.

- Bill introduces the guy as his new friend. He says his new friend convinced him to come back online. And his new friend even gave permission for their first time together to be filmed live.

- New Friend’s eyebrows wiggle at the camera behind his thick dark-framed glasses

- this sends a thrill through the audience obviously. such an intimate thing that theyre witnessing. New Friend doesnt seem to mind though. In fact he seems to lap up the attention and is very willing to take suggestions from the audience of just what he should do to Bill. 

- the vibrator and dildo remain untouched on the bed that day. 

- and its right at the end, still panting and sweating and coming down from their highs that Bill mentions that his New Friend is a previous audience member.

- “some of you might recognise the username. This is bigdickrich. Sooo... I guess we now know he wasn’t exaggerating with that name ha ha” to which Richie just grins at the camera holding his hands up under his chin.

- the comment section goes BONKERS!

- carsforeddie: THAT ANNOYING CRUDE SON OF A BITCH!! WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THE UNIVERSE SO UNFAIR! FUCK!”

mikey-mike: good for you bigdickrich. you’re a real lucky guy. 

twinksfordays: i want to choke on bigdickrich’s cock

carsforeddie: HOW?! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! EW I JUST JACKED IT TO THAT ASSHOLE! FUCK I NEED TO SHOWER”

- Bill and Richie giggle and converse with the commenters for awhile and then sign off.

- billoncam returns to regularly camming again. much the way he was before. mostly solo. though sometimes with guest stars. and Richie becomes a more and more frequent feature. He’s the only one (besides Bev popping in now and then) who shows his face.

- and then, billoncam hits 100,000 subscribers

- and Bill. Well he has to make it special right? So he auctions himself off. There has to be some careful wording and labelling so that he can’t be done for prostitution but... essentially Bill auctions off the chance for him to travel and spend the night with the highest bidder.

- of course carsforeddie is not going to let this opportunity slide by him. He’s a successful businessman. He might only be 25 but he’s got money to burn and he’s been loving lusting after billoncam for a LONG TIME

- its undisclosed just how much Eddie Kaspbrak, luxury car rental business owner ends up paying for billoncam to fly to New York and spend the night with him - for legal reasons obviously. And no, Eddie does not give permission for the deed to be filmed.

- But! Its perfectly legal to say that the 2nd time Bill fucks Eddie - the 3rd, the 4th, the 5th and the 6th and all the times that follow - are done completely for free!

- Ben jokes to Richie privately about them going to need to move into a bigger house if Bill keeps adding people to this relationship.

- It becomes less of a joke and more of a reality as Eddie moves permanently to Los Angeles 6 months (and lots of trips to LA) later.

- And thats it. Theyre nearly there. There’s just one more thing missing. One more piece to the puzzle. Bill doesn’t know why he feels this way. He just does.

- Luckily Mike Hanlon (aka as mikey-mike) has been unknowingly working away on this very thing for months. Not that he would have dared to assume that anything would happen when he slid into billoncam’s DM’s 18 months ago.

- He’s just a country boy from bumfuck nowhere. There’s no reality in this universe where he and the likes of billoncam would ever cross paths. But he enjoys talking to him. They have a lot of laughs. And Bill is surprisingly sweet and very well spoken. They like a lot of the same things. The same literature, the same sports teams. Bill is always asking after the animals on Mike’s family’s farm. Mike wishes he could get to know him better. 

- Bill wants the same thing. He’d give anything to meet the sweet-souled farmboy from Maine who brightens Bill’s day whenever he gets a new message from him. I mean, it helps that he’s also gorgeous with the most wonderful smile, but thats beside the point.

- Bill ends up putting his money where his mouth is. Just enough to buy a return plane ticket to LA, so that Mike can come visit him, and cover the cost of a hotel room (ya know, in case he doesn’t want to stay with Bill and the rest of them. Bill would never want to make him uncomfortable).

- Needless to say Mike fits right into the family almost immediately. 

- its a couple of months later and billoncam still exists, but its like a relic now. Bill pours all his creative energy into his new channel “the-lucky-seven”. Its a channel shared by everyone and its outrageously popular. Sure there are still a few individuals who are too shy or anxious to show their faces but the audience doesn’t seem to care. There’s so much variety to be found on the channel. Different combinations of people doing a live cam nearly every second day. 

- they’re all unapologetic, they all love each other, and they don’t mind sharing it with the world. 

- :) :) :) :) B) :) :)

----

Did I really just write a romance story about camming? Why yes, I think I did. Ha Ha. Hope you enjoyed. :)

[aleximedicusa]

𝟷𝟾𝟸𝙾𝚜 𝙲𝙷𝙴𝙰𝚃 𝚂𝙷𝙴𝙴𝚃. i figured it might actually help people to have a simple cheat sheet guide to vague 1820s daily life, so they don’t have to go searching themselves to make an au if they want to! this is info compiled by both viktor and myself for the purpose of our 1820s server. under the cut bc this shit is long.

SO WHAT IS GENERAL LIFE LIKE ( as explained by mr. viktor b. [redacted] ) - We are early in industrialisation. Coal is primarily a source of heat, not power yet but it's Comin'. First steam locomotives have been made, and the first railway for public passengers just opened in '25, transporting people a short stretch in Durham (but who lives in Durham anyway). The main use of these engines is in mining. - The other industries that have been mechanised are done from wind and water mills. Most notably does textile production utilize water power. This will all eventually also switch to steam, we are in a real changeover period right now, just on the cusp of industrialisation - Gas lamps are widespread and in use in more fancy homes and public places! Otherwise, one must rely on petroleum or good ol candles, this makes us all very dependent on the phases of the moon for nighttime endeavours, as these lights are not particularly effective - Transportation is by Horse or Boat. Boat is faster, and as result, most industry and "larger" urban centres all congregate around rivers. - Society is generally quite fragmented, with the majority of populations living in the countryside with doings related to farmland and so on. The pricklings of industrialisation will drive more people towards the cities, as they build bigger receptacles for jobs and the countryside is mechanised. But not entirely yet. - We have just (well since 1815) exited the Napoleonic wars, a long and gruelling affair that has left Britain in a bit of an economic depression. There is general class unrest and intensified punishment for crime, which is on the rise. - it is an incredibly hierarchal society with very few avenues of social mobility, though with increasing industrialisation and better access to universities, the bourgeois class is rising and the economic elite are no longer all related by blood. What horror! - That is not to say that nobility have no power. Aside from the French, who are currently in a mess coming out of the First Empire (press F to pay respects), the noble class still controls the vast majority of funds and property, with most common people working underneath such a family in some regard. - disease is rife and often comes from lack of nutrients, but we don't know how those work so like, die I guess. As a result, malformations is far more common than today, especially in the underclass - Everyone Drinks Alcohol All The Time Water Is Not Safe - Empires are a thing! Imperialism is well on its way to do more acts of terror and horror upon the world, but it's also making the colonisers well rich so it's fine innit (it's not) - Fashions are back to being a bit more cinched in than they were in the earlier regency (get it because we're all wearing corsets with a tight waist focus im very smart) and is generally restrictive both for men and women in the upper class. The lower classes can't afford big changes in clothes, but at least they are all wearing long trousers now and not breeches. - Breeches are still valid for evening wear, show off those calves boyes - oh cholera is happening lol - clothes generally have far more layers and are heavier than what we see today. They wear for far longer for this reason, but this is also because warming up a house is bloody well impossible, if you've ever been in a student housing unit you know what I mean when I say poor insulation. You needed those layers pretty much year round.

SO WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH MEDICAL STUFF ( as explained by ms. iris n. [redacted] )

— Academic study of anatomy is rapidly on the rise. We've shot up from around 300 students of anatomy in London in 1798 to nearly 1,000 in London in 1823. Approach to teaching anatomy is also changing, with a heavier emphasis on the necessity of students dissecting bodies themselves instead of merely observing dissection.  — In 1788, we have the first recorded trial for disinterment of a corpse. In Rex v. Lynn, the judge ruled it to be a misdemeanour to disinter a body for dissection. However, this law really wasn't that strongly enforced when it first came into play, since, at that time, there were few enough exhumators / resurrectionists that the public really didn't notice the offence. As demand increased, however, the public became more aware of the crime, and the authorities started to crack down more on the guilty parties. There are also cases that have set up the precedence that even preventing a body from initial interment is a punishable offence, as some men have been charged with crimes like conspiring to prevent burial. Surgeons and anatomists can be indicted, too, not just the resurrectionists. — As both demand and risk increase, the resurrectionists become more and more degraded and desperate individuals. There's an enormous amount of competition between them, with criminals competing to muscle others out of their territories.  — The price for a body is generally between £7 and £10, at this time. Burke and Hare sold their first body in 1827 for £7.10. This is an enormous price in the 1820s. — Students are starting to leave England in pursuit of better anatomy teaching, generally choosing France for its comparatively more lax laws regarding dissection. Professors, students, and doctors are starting to really put pressure on the government to reform the system.  — The only bodies you can legally dissect at this point are the bodies of hanged murderers. A debate was introduced in parliament to suggest widening the scope of the law to permit dissecting the bodies of those hanged for burglary and robbery, but this was never put into law. — Most anatomists did not know (or at least claimed not to know) that it was illegal to have a body in their possession that did not belong to a hanged murderer. As such, many were not very careful about hiding the fact that they were purchasing disinterred bodies. — The decision of what to do to reform the system is heavily debated. Some doctors favour the French system, wherein any unclaimed body is permitted to be used for dissection; some more radical doctors, like the anonymous doctor who published a pamphlet under the pseudonym of Alexipharmacus in 1829, favour a system wherein the only bodies dissected are the bodies of those who have given express consent for their corpses to be anatomised after death. Guy was ahead of his time, really. — Although the Burke and Hare case doesn't break until November of 1828, people were already beginning to discuss the worrying possibility that this current system was going to end up producing murderers.  — Public sentiment towards anatomists and surgeons wasn't... great, at this period, for obvious reasons.

[sirduck45]

Book 10

Hey this is just a chapter from a book I’m writing I hope you enjoy. I was also told that someone actually enjoyed reading something of mine???? Im gonna push through and finish the other half of that story for you, thank you for supporting me!!!

1 “Ok you need to tell me what’s going on right now,” Rebel demanded as she slammed the cellar door behind her.  

2 “What do you mean?” Fly said nonchalantly leaning up against a few crates full of booze.  

3 “You know damn well what I mean! You don’t drink, you said you had problems with these guys!  How do you even know them?” Rebel sputtered her fists clenched, she just hoped that the men in the bar wouldn’t hear her yelling.  

4 “Here,” Fly sighed and extended her arm which held out her almost empty glass. Rebel’s nose scrunched up in disgust, she wasn’t about to let the person who dragged her across the country for the past few months get her wasted when they were supposed to be in hiding. If Fly wouldn’t protect them then it was up to her.  

5 “Just smell it,” Fly groaned. Rebel stood for a second with her arms crossed, but soon gave in to her curiosity and stepped forward cautiously. With two short sniffs she couldn’t smell anything. One step forward, nothing. With another step forward and another deep breath she could almost taste it: lemons.  

6 “I told you I didn’t drink anymore,” Fly took a sip from her glass. “Something happened with these guys and I promised myself I’d never let it happen again. So, this was the solution.” Her gaze seemed to be fixed on something far away as the terrible memories replayed in her head. At times like these, her age showed through her young exterior. All the pain and suffering could be seen in her eyes as she recalled all the mistakes she made, all the people she left behind.  

7“What happened?” Rebel asked cautiously. Hoping her leader might divulge her in a bit about her past. Fly looked up at her breaking herself away from the daze that she caught herself in.  

8 Right, like Fly would tell her. But in Rebel's eyes, there was something else. An almost understanding, but how could she possibly understand what it was like to be her, to be a...  

9 Fly shook her head and looked away. This wasn’t happening. Introducing all the other girls to the guys who ran the bar was a trip enough down memory lane.  

10 Rebel took a small step forward, not wanting to let her leave without knowing what had happened to her. “Fly? You can tell me.”  

11 Could Fly even do this? Tell her about what she did? About him? All of it? Fly looked up into Rebel’s eyes, the same soft green eyes that she had, stared back at her. How could the two of them be so alike and so different at the same time?  

12 After a moment of pause Fly spoke, “It all started... back in World War II.” She hesitated for a moment, allowing all the bitter memories to come back. They bit at her like Hellhounds come to take her back to where she belonged. “It was just a regular mission; I was leading a small group to go take down a Nazi official.”  

13 “Well, I say leading but –uh- you know, they had these -uh -handlers, to- um... keep me in check.” She paused remembering what happened when she got home. Fly stood up a bit taller, now looking at the wall past Rebel. Her fists clenched remembering the crack of the whip, the blood, the scars. “They never really could trust something like me.”  

14 “But uh...” Fly smiled remembering the only reason why it was worth it all. The only memory that wouldn’t cause her this pain. Rebel captivated by this indulgence into Fly’s past leaned up against an adjacent crate.  

15 “There was this guy,” Fly explained slowly as she recreated his face in her memory. “He was a bit of an asshole at first but uh... we um...” She paused unsure of how to explain the feeling without sounding like an idiot.  

16 “You fell in love?” Rebel’s voice was quiet. Fly nodded not wanting to admit anything out loud.  

17 Rebel’s eyes softened as she looked upon her leader in a new light. Her fearless leader has never shown such insecurity before, and most likely never will again. After months and months of being dragged around this was the most that Fly had ever talked about herself.  

18 “We... had a few nights together, never really thinking about the future, which I guess was for the best,” Fly’s smile quickly faded. “Last day of the mission we were meeting at the rendezvous but there was an ambush and...” The blood was all over her hands again. The pounding of the gunshots in her ears. The screaming and crying. Unable to see his face as tears blurred even her memories.  

19 She took a ragged breath and continued, “I got back to the states and in all honesty, I was lost. One day I wandered out here and found these guys.” She chuckled at the memory, “They had made a bar based on me when I was a cowboy.” Rebel had figured that when she saw the theme of the bar, every old man up there was saying that everything on the walls was once hers. From the cowboy hat to the Harley in the garage.

20 “Things were great for a while, you know, taking our hogs for rides, they even gave me the nickname Lady. But after Nam we were all changed, the ones who were left anyways. I guess I was... drowning my mistakes seemed better than facing them you know?” There was a brief pause as Fly thought back to those dark days of blackout drunk men and her just sitting alone with a half-empty bottle.  

21 “... I don’t know why or how but we ended up having like a little fight club at the bar. Really it was just them getting drunk and trying to wrestle me as a bear or a gorilla or something.” Fly forced a small laugh as her free hand gripped the crate she was leaning up on.  

22 “But um... one night we all got wasted, like borderline blackout, and I got rough... really rough.”  

23 “How bad was it?” Rebels voice seemed loud as it echoed in the small dark cellar. A twinge of regret spread through her as she hated making Fly remember all this pain.  

24 “He ended up in the hospital,” Fly’s eyes glistened, but no tears fell. “When he got back nothing was the same. They all said it was fine, but I knew it wasn’t... I... I feel like I can’t control it sometimes. This monster inside of me... I just decided to leave. On my own, things would be better.” Fly sniffed as she rubbed her nose, she probably looked so pathetic. With a small cough to clear her throat, she composed herself and stood up straight.  

25 Rebel stood there ashamed. Ashamed for accusing her. Ashamed for not trusting her. Ashamed for blaming everything that went wrong with the ship on her. Rebel took a step forward, but Fly put up her hand.  

26 “I don’t need your sympathy,” Her head was still down, but her voice cracked. “I-I don’t need-” But before she could protest Rebels arms were wrapped around her. She tensed up and didn’t move, not used to close contact. But it felt ...nice.  

27 Slowly Rebel could feel a pair of arms gently embrace her. No words were spoken. Both girls had been broken by this world and the next. Their worlds had been taken from them. Friends killed before their eyes. It was at this moment Rebel realized how similar they were.  

28 Fly let go, her voice hoarse, “don’t tell anyone about this.” All of her respect from the others upstairs would be lost if anyone knew about this exchange. With a small smile Rebel nodded at her leader.  

29 The two girls moved towards the door, but Rebel had paused. An old picture that was lying on a crate had caught her eye. Black and white unsmiling faces stared back at her. Fly stood in the picture in front of a line of four men, looking the same as she did today.  

30 Fly picked up the picture and inspected every face. Jaqu, the French sniper who barely talked. Morgans the medic who would faint at the slightest mention of blood. Patell, Fly’s handler who was supposed to keep her in check throughout the missions. Then there was...  

31 “Is that him?” Rebel asked as Fly’s finger brushed against the picture. His laugh, and sarcastic comments, the way he would show off, it all came flooding back to her. She had been alive for nearly three hundred and fifty years. Memories of her parents, homeland, all the other people who have helped her on her journey had faded away with time. But not him, only three days she had known him, and yet she would never forget.  

32 Fly nodded as her fingers curled around the frame.  

33 “What was his name?”  

34 “Mark.”

[lookbluesoup]

Fallout OC Interview

@robobrainmurdermysterytheatre and @quinndecker214 tagged me to do this LITERAL AGES ago! Thanks for this and IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG it got lost in my drafts I hope it was worth the wait //shot I TAG @nuclearvessel @ronqueesha @tarberrymentats @wild-w4steland-snip3r @daddyfuckinlonglegs @saltsealed @thewookieruns No pressure!!

Choose an OC.

Answer them as that OC.

Tag 5 people to do the same.

1. What is your name? Nathaniel Christian Wright. Maiden name Ronan, if, aha, you like fun-facts.

2. How old are you? You know I lost count somewhere after 240?

3. What do you look like?

4. Where are you from? Where do you live now? I was born a good ways South of here, spent most of my childhood there. Moved to Boston... before the War. Now I stay with Piper in Diamond City between work, got an infield view and everything! Never would have bet on that the day I woke up in the Vault. I guess life’s funny, hunh? I - ...I’m glad to be there.

5. What was your childhood like? Oh, nothing special, really. My Pa was ex-military, a chaplain. Ma stayed home to tend the house, and raise rambunctious sons. She was - good. I wonder sometimes whether she’d be proud of me, out here.

6. What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions? Well, I am K i n g of the Castle - a-hem, I mean, General. Yeah, just General. (//Ronnie distantly yells something about the joke not being funny the 80th time)

[[There are rumors of Nate being a leading Railroad Agent, but he absolutely would not admit to that in a casual interview xD]]

7. Tell me about your best friend. Deacon? Hah! What can’t I tell you about him! He’s got a two-dozen kids. Twelve wives. One’s a ghoul. He’s also a synth, but you didn’t hear that from me. Has an extra toe on his left foot. Those sunglasses aren’t a fashion statement, they’re glued to his face. Horrible accident, really. Inoperable. He can speak five languages, including Zetan. I swear, it’s all true! But, ah. He’s a good friend. Better than he knows.

8. Do you have a family? Tell me about them! My son, Shaun, lives here at the Castle. I wish I could bring him to Diamond City, let him make friends with the other kids, try to give him something of the life he might’ve had before the War. But I’ve got enemies. The Minutemen have enemies. Comes with the job. It’s safer for Shaun to be here, out of the limelight. And also, you know, with a barracks full of guns ready at a minute’s notice if there’s trouble. My men are family, too. Hell, I feel closer to the people here than I did most of my own blood in the old world. There’s also my butler, Codsworth. And Natalie, Piper’s little sister - well, she may as well be my little sister, too. But hey, keep that one off the record. Nat’d never forgive me.

9. What about a partner or partners? I’m a happily tethered man, bound for life to one kickass reporter, Mrs. Wright. You may have heard of her. 

10. Have you ever heard of The Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them? [Nate seems more guarded] Yeah, I know them. That graveyard across the channel used to be their airship. I wish it had ended differently, but... well, war never changes.

11. Who are your enemies, and why? I suppose that’s a natural follow-up question. Well, most of the Raider gangs will attack on sight. Gunners, too. But we’ve managed to clear a pretty safe stretch between major towns over the past year. Since the Minutemen have established a pro-synth stance, more than a few settlements shut their doors on us. Lost a fair number of volunteers. But no violence so far. Other than that... the remnants of Brotherhood here aren’t fond of me, personally. Why? We parted on bad terms. Lets just - leave it at that. Anyone else out here can tell you the story. There are Institute survivors, too. We tried to get as many noncombatants out as we could the day it fell, but it was a battle. It was messy. A lot haven’t forgiven me for turning on them. [sighs] ...Can you blame them? The Minutemen have kept a running list of Courser sightings since then. So many still aren’t accounted for. Keeps me up at night, sometimes.  

12. What about The Enclave? I’ve heard rumors. None of them good. 13. How do you feel about Super Mutants? Tough bastards. I wish we could help them. I know they don’t all go crazy, and Virgil was making progress on a cure. But I haven’t seen him in years. We’re not - really on speaking terms.

14. Have you ever fought a Deathclaw? More than once, and never unscathed. Not bragging! It’s the truth. Take a look at this, [he rolls back his sleeve to show a massive scar running over his upper arm] Piper and I got pinned down, lizard gutted me and nearly lost me an arm. Also? Ruined my best flannel shirt.

15. What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in? Bunker Hill. What a hellscape. Between the Railroad and the Institute, things were hot enough. But somehow the Brotherhood found out, too. It’s a wonder Bunker Hill wasn’t razed to the ground. My Courser escort was killed in a Railroad ambush and the synths we were after escaped. I barely got out alive.

[[Nate actually killed X4-18 and helped the synths escape, but that’s another Railroad secret :’D]] 16. Do you like fighting? No. But I’ll do what I have to to stay alive and protect the people I care about. 17. What’s your weapon of choice? A modified radium rifle. I was a sniper back in my army days, it’s what I’m trained in. But if the fight does get close, this gun’s versatile enough to still be useful. Wish my loadout back in Anchorage did that. I’m fond of the laser musket, too - but you only get one shot, and then everyone will know exactly where you are. Strategically it’s too limited.

18. How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?) My winning charm, of course! [winks] And trekking all over the Commonwealth keeps me fit for when folks aren’t so interested in talking. Piper keeps the luck for both of us. I’m - pretty sure I’m cursed, actually.

S(6) P(7) E(8) C(11) I(7) A(5) L(2)

19. Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them? I suppose I should be grateful, really. If not for the Vaults, I’d have died two centuries ago. I’d never have met Piper, or taught Shaun to play baseball. None of this... none of this at all would have happened. [grimaces] Don’t get me wrong. Vault-tec was fucking insane. The things they did to people in some of those Vaults-? I was uncharacteristically lucky. There’s a reason they call me the Sole Survivor, and it’s not from winning some tv game show about living on an island.

20. How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you? My Pip-Boy has a Geiger counter built in so I can avoid the worst of it. But sometimes it can’t be helped. I always keep Rad-Away and Rad-X on hand. Other than that, I bring the old vault suit to wear under my clothes if I know exposure’s inevitable. It helps a little. Piper likes to tease me about that, but somehow I think she prefers me with hair and less than six limbs. Plus, my ass looks great in blue. Her words. Not mine. Yes, you can quote that.

21. What’s your favorite wasteland critter? The radstags, no doubt! [motions to Legs Washington] Look at those little extra arms wiggling around. Adorable.

22. What’s your least favorite wasteland critter? Yao guais. They are way too stealthy for something that big. I dunno what they’re eating up in Maine, but Far Harbor was full of them. Big, grumpy ones. And look, have you ever tried to outrun a bear? Don’t.

23. How do you feel about robots? I like the ones that aren’t shooting at me! Codsworth and Ada are friends. Isabel’s eyebot, Sparks? Adorable. I even got this hat from an old Sentry named Ironsides. Those Rust Devils and their junk bots though? I try not to fight them without a lot of backup. Got ambushed by a Succubus once. Not a good time. At all.

24. How many caps do you have on you right now? Why, you planning to rob me? Kidding. About 200, which is a lot for me generally speaking.

25. Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla? [Suddenly excited] Wait, does Sunset Sarsaparilla still exist?

26. Do you do chems? Aside from Med-X when I’ve been shot? Not if I can help it.

27. Do you ever think about the Pre-War world? Not as often as in the beginning, but it does happen sometimes. I’ll have dreams where I’m back in my old life, and it’s always... disorienting.

28. What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently? There are - a lot. I’ll admit it. Sometimes I wonder, if I’d only just - hm... Well. To be honest, I’ve been trying not to linger so much on what I’ve done wrong, and focus on what I can do right for the future instead. Piper taught me that.

29. What’s your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve?  I’ll always be proud to call myself Mr. Wright. If I can be half the man Piper tells me I am, I’ll consider it a life well lived.

30. What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world? Geeze, you could give my wife a run for her money with a loaded question like that! I want... a future where folks don’t have to be afraid of monsters coming after them in the night. I want synths to have a fair chance at living their own lives, as who they are, without pretending. I want Shaun to - be able to grow up. For myself? Everything I need is right here already.

[freebooter4ever]

speaking of angst, here is some naval gazing shit under cut

its funny, being almost officially in my thirties now and not being much more mature than i was like a decade ago.

last year, the summer after i moved grandma to ohio, i was sitting in a park in seattle, just quietly writing while sanjeev was at work cause i enjoy working in public spaces and being around people, and this random stranger came up to me. and he sat down and we started talking, he was very complimentary and im ugly enough i dont get that often (like ever), so i was enjoying it. and then he started going on about how i was on the cusp of turning old and wrinkly and if i waited too long to get married no one would want me anymore. he talked about this for an hour. and at the end of it he said i should marry HIM. and i laughed, and said i was career driven and was moving to glendale to be an imagine*r. he insisted on getting my phone number and insta profile, and then he left, and he stalked me a bit on insta until i had to block him.

if you grow up as a girl, you get all these messages bombarded into you through media. i remember watching bridget jones and thinking, no way i would ever be ashamed of my wrinkles or age. being single by thirty, i would never care about that. i was more concerned about going on an adventure before i hit age thirty than finding romance.

and at that age you dont think it will happen to you. and then women get older. and it starts happening, and we get strange men telling us to marry them before our expiration date. and other microaggressions that are not nearly so stark and obvious as that. but all these little things add up. you start to think again about the man you dated when you were twenty two who was ten years older than you and who used to praise your tight skin and how you always thought that was odd. until now you feel your skin getting thinner. and you still kinda like your skin and your ever flat but saggier chest but now you are consciously aware that there are a lot of people who dont. or at least, who would put more value on the younger version.

and added into that is my mess of ptsd from the abusive relationship at age 22 (when i was 14 and anorexic i once ate an entire box of baby tomatoes and it made me throw up, i STILL cant eat baby tomatoes without disgust, i tried for years eating a specific sandwhich at my favorite burgh organic cafe that combined cream cheese with tomatoes which was my first case of enjoying raw tomatoes since being a teen and yet i STILL dont like tomatoes alone. but people expect me to want sex after so long associating sex with pain??? when i only just last year stopped having nightmares? the only good one of which was the one where dream me slammed the face of my abusive ex against the 1922 rat rod's muffler and melted his skin to the bone. That nightmare was nice.) so my age bias isnt entirely based on societal pressure. But.

I miss the days of self insert fanfic, of reading a book and being like oh yeah, definitely would fall in love and make out with that character. Of being able to imagine oneself as a viable love interest period. cause if i cant see me and romance happening in fiction, its a non existent concept in reality. which, because of the ptsd, is mostly a relief. but because of the age, and growing old, feels more forced on me than an actual choice. like in my twenties my years of mostly avoiding commitment and physical intimacy except in rare cases felt like my decision. now its just a default because there is no interest to avoid.

and i know there are still people attracted to me. nick keeps sending me nudes, though his attraction is based on memories of me at age 25. and there must have been something about me hiker boy liked cause i certainly never got to the point where i trusted him enough to sleep with him but he still went out on dates with me...for almost six months there (fond fond memories of our flirty late night baba is you sessions, but those required zero kissing) (me enjoying drawing him in bed also required zero kissing)(maybe i just dont like kissing?)

but yeah. any expression of romantic interest nowadays and my reaction is "why?" and "seriously?" and disbelief. why do you want to make out with me when we can just be friends - all that love and no need for kissing or any of that pressure for me to be young and beautiful, its great.

but boy do i miss the silly fun of daydreaming about making out with a character some days

[istheresomebodywhocanimagine]

Thank you, love! Can I please have a double ship? I’m a fat bottomed girl who is a tomboy - I’m not into typical “girly” stuff and I love hanging around with boys discussing politics, sports (I’m a huge sports nerd), listening to metal. I love war movies and am interested in history (WWII especially) though I’m studying Journalism. I also don’t like wearing skirts or dresses or heels. I’m a loyal friend who will always be there to listen and help you. I’m very clumsy and often trip over my feet.

Sssssssshello fellow sports fan (i’m not even joking even though that sounds so nerdy) so what do u think about the kc royals i know they suck ass but like.... im so dedicated to my boys and i’ve seen them kick the yankees ass at yankee stadium (FUCK YOU JOE MAZZELLO)

ships r below the cut sjkdfjkds

For BoRhap, I ship you with Joe Mazzello!

For obvious reasons - I mean, a girl that’s into sports and is extremely loyal? Joey Mazz would bus a nutttt

Anyways, you’d probably meet Joe while doing some work as a sports journalist. Deciding against the box seat that you usually took during a Yankee’s game for focus reasons, you opted to sit down with the public in the stands, and you got seated next to Joe.

Joe was respectable enough for most of the game - once he got a bit loose on the juice, though, he had some mouthy tendencies, and every last word was directed angrily at the officials. 

At one point, he was so angry that you couldn’t hold in your laughter as you kept book, missing a tally for a ball but not caring too much as you stared in amazement at the fiery copper-headed man beside you. His double-black Yankees hat fell off of his head as he stood abruptly, and you took your boot-clad feet off of the seat in front of you as you leaned down to grab it for him. 

“Fucking terrible call! That was in the strike zone, that ump is full of shit,” he muttered as he sat back down in a huff, pausing before getting a curious look on his face and starting to search for his hat.

“Looking for this?” you asked, a teasing edge to your voice, and Joe’s attention snapped over to you, recognition immediately flooding his eyes as he smiled gratefully and took the hat.

“Thanks a ton, I just can’t stand those damn umps sometimes.” Looking down at the stat book on your tablet, he raised an eyebrow in inquiry before pulling his hat back on his head. “Keeping book for anything special?”

“I work for the New York Post. Sports columnist,” you explained, locking your screen to save battery after a strike was finally called and the fourth inning came to a close. Joe made a ‘not bad’ face, then gave you a grin.

“So, Yankees fan?”

“Uh, you know it,” you scoffed, nodding as you looked out to the field and smiled before making eye contact with him again. He had a kind gaze, you noted, and his smile was just as evident in his eyes as it was in his actual smile. “Wouldn’t miss a game for the world. Not even that exhibit on Governor’s right now.” You felt your stomach flipping a bit, Joe watching you very intently and almost intimidating you with how genuinely invested he was in what you had to say.

“The World War II one?” Joe inquired, and he chuckled when you made a positive noise in response. “I was in a show about WWII a couple years ago. Maybe you’ve heard of it? The Pacific?”

“That was you?” you gasped, involuntarily reaching out and grabbing his arm. Although the both of you registered it, you awkwardly decided not to say anything and just continued talking, Joe trying to mask his reaction at the tingly feeling your touch left on his arm. “Holy shit, I loved that show! I didn’t even recognize you.” Laughing, you let go of his arm and just paused for a moment, recalling how excited you’d been about that miniseries.

“Yeah, not my biggest claim to fame, but definitely up there. Still doesn’t get me recognized at baseball games, though. I got that more in the 90′s.”

“The 90′s - you must have been a baby!” you teased, in disbelief that he was any older than 25. There was no way he was anything but a toddler back in the 90′s.

“God, the closer I get to my 30s, the more that excites me,” he laughed, shaking his head. “Unfortunately, I was a little more than a baby back then. I was a whole, grown kid.”

“Grown kid - what a paradox,” you scoffed, giving him a gentle eye roll as a few people around you chuckled at something. “Alright, I’ll bite - in the 90′s, what were you in?”

“Would you believe me if I said some commercials and that was it?” Pursing your lips, you gave him an unmoved look and he chuckled, raising his hands in surrender. You were surprisingly adorable despite the currently deadpan expression. In fact, he was beginning to like all of your expressions, and all of your mannerisms. You were pretty laid-back for a woman of your age - like you were comfortable not putting up a front around him and men in general. “I was in Jurassic Park.”

“No way!” you gasped, thinking back to the movie and vaguely remembering a little boy around your age that had resembled him. “Oh my god, all I remember about it is that I wanted to be your friend... and I had an embarrassingly big crush on Jeff Goldblum.”

“Oh god, me too,” Joe agreed, waving a hand dismissively at the thought that anyone didn’t feel things for Jeff Goldblum.

Some faint laughter and shifting glances around you suddenly distracted you from your intense conversation with Joe, and you looked around for a moment before groaning and shielding your eyes at the jumbotron, trying not to laugh. “We’ve been called out.”

Joe looked at the large screen to see the both of you with a superimposed timer beneath you, dubbed the “Oblivious Cam.” You’d both been so invested in the conversation, they’d nearly been timing you for a minute by the time you realized. Waves of embarrassment washed over the two of you as you realized everyone in the stadium had watched what you had assumed was a mainly private interaction. Suddenly, the hand on the arm thing was mortifying.

“Well, at least we look good,” Joe offered, waving to the camera and shrugging before they kicked it off, going into the fifth inning. Joe was right, he did look damn good. And the fact that he thought you looked good too, despite your lack of commonplace women’s wear around a baseball game (see: tight-fitting unbuttoned jerseys, short shorts, heels, etc.). You’d shown out in some jeans and a ratty jersey you’d had since God knows when, with some combat boots to pull it all together. And he still thought you looked good.

He very much did. He thought you looked so good, in fact, that he took you out for drinks after the game. And then sitting down with the public became a regular occurrence for you - even though Joe wasn’t at every game, he showed up to far more games than he would have regularly, just so he could see you. But he’d never admit that, not even up to the day that he asked you out.

Which, of course, you’d been floored - men usually don’t ask out one of the boys. But you said yes, of course! And a couple months later, when he offered to fly you out to California to see the baseball movie he’d been working on about his brother, you jumped at the opportunity.

Mainly because it was an away time for Yankees.

Oops.

When you showed up on set with Joe, the cast immediately welcomed you as one of their own, and you took up residence in the bleachers/near the fence, psyched to see what they were working on for the day and also stoked because you’d probably become an extra because of this appearance. Acting credits on top of journalism? Score.

Today was the day they were filming Pat’s breakdown, and you were excited to see just how riled up Joe could get as you leaned against the admittedly searing-hot chain-link fence. Between takes, Toby, who’d taken quickly to befriending you, came over in all his English glory to visit with you about the upcoming shots.

“You ready to see Spaz Mazz?” he joked, making you laugh at the corny nickname as you nodded, letting go of the chain-link for a moment.

“Absolutely. I’ve seen Joe at baseball games, so can’t wait to see who he absolutely rails today.”

“Well, it’s your lucky day, because it’s me,” Toby chuckled, fixing his hat as Joe caught sight of the two of you, smiling and waving before going back to whatever directorial duties he was working on. Waving back, Toby sighed melodramatically before turning to you. “He yells at quite a few of us, but in the table-read, he really let me have it in this scene. The struggles of being the fun one,” he lamented, making you roll your eyes and wish him good luck as Joe called for the next shot to start.

And in a few moments, you saw exactly what Toby meant. Well, not saw. You just got to listen as Joe absolutely went off on Manny’s character in the dugout, a gleeful laugh leaving your lips as you heard him threaten to shove a bat up Zapata’s ass, then yelling at Palacco for shitting away his talent. After the more emotional part, you burst out laughing when a sudden, “Oh, shut the fuck up, Zapata!” rang in your ears.

Covering your mouth quickly, you resorted to just grinning while you listened to them methodically reconstruct the scene over and over, taking several shots in the mid-afternoon heat before deciding to call it since the lighting was waning, not providing for the right time of day for the shot that was slotted next.

Joe was one of the last to finally filter off the field, finding you immediately and giving you a mildly-tired grin as he wrapped his arm around you, walking off towards the parking lot with you. 

“Toby said Seb’s in town and wants to meet up for dinner with Chace and us. You hungry?”

“Starving,” you affirmed, leaning against him a bit as you climbed up the hill. “That was an... interesting performance. You sound a little hoarse.”

“Yelling all day can wear a guy out,” he agreed with a small chuckle, pulling out his keys to his rental and stopping in front of the car to just stand with you for a moment. The eye-black on his cheeks was smeared from sweat, his hair a mess, and you could definitely tell he was slouching a bit, tired from the day’s proceedings.

But he still was smiling down at you, and you couldn’t help but smile back before leaning up and wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him into an affectionate kiss, which he eagerly reciprocated. 

His arms wrapped around your waist, hands resting dangerously low on your back, but not enough to raise alarms, and you grinned against his lips before pressing a gentle peck to the lower one, murmuring just loud enough for him to hear.

“I like the baseball pants look on you.”

A throaty chuckle escaped his mouth and he gave you one last kiss before wrapping an arm around your waist and ushering you to the passenger seat, letting you open the door and start climbing in yourself before he swiftly reached out and pinched your ass, closing the door for you with an innocent grin on his face when you shot him a warning look.

“Couldn’t help myself,” he defended when he climbed into the driver’s seat after a few moments. “You brought up butts and you know yours is my favorite butt.”

“I’m glad,” you laughed, shaking your head as you watched him start the car, sucking your lower lip into your mouth for a moment before grinning mischievously. “But I wasn’t talking about your butt, though that was nice too.”

Joe’s eyes lit up at your statement, a light flush filling his cheeks as he wrestled with what you’d just suggestively implied. Looking over to you, his jack went slightly slack, and all he could manage was a soft “Oh.”

“Smooth, babe. Real smooth.”

“You caught me off guard, come on!”

And for Queen, I ship you with Brian May!

We all know that Brian struggled with being raised as a rather womanly boy, so your more masculine personality equals out beautifully with his feminine tendencies. In categories where he lacks a masculine touch, you make up for that absence, and when you have issues with a feminine touch, he’s right there to help you along.

Synergy!

Plus, heart eye emoji at the fact that you’re a fat-bottomed girl.

Anyways, I think you and Brian would be lifelong friends. The tall ol’ softie never would have survived high school without his loyal best friend, you, to guide him through that emotional rollercoaster.

But I really don’t think you’d have a crush on him at first. I think he’d be absolutely smitten with you from the get-go - you were his rock, the only person to ground him when he got too high-strung. But because of his tendencies to be high-strung and eternally confused, you never saw him as more than a close friend.

That is, until one night that you were hanging out with him and the boys, and Roger had you caught up in a particularly in-depth conversation about Black Sabbath’s eponymous album that had been released recently. 

Roger was your go-to for anything metal related, which made Brian only slightly jealous as he watched the two of you intensely discuss whether you appreciated the blues notes that they brought to some of the songs on the album. 

“I think The Wizard is the most genius one out of all of them!” Roger gushed, and you nodded in agreement as you listened to him start to ramble on about how much he loved the song. Always the listener, you only let your eyes roam for a brief moment, pausing when you saw Brian just past Roger’s scruffy golden-brown hair.

When he caught your eye, he sent you a small smile and a brief eye roll about Roger’s rants that made you grin, and you quickly looked back to Roger as he summarized his opinion, finally. “I agree, but what about N.I.B? You can’t tell me that it isn’t up there on the quality list.”

When Roger began to dissent against your opinion, you quickly excused yourself to go grab another drink and left him to simmer, instead making your way to the kitchen and pouring yourself the rest of the whiskey as Brian entered.

“Sounds like you guys had some really important stuff to discuss,” Brian observed as he pouted slightly at the empty whiskey bottle, instead fetching himself a beer.

“I love Roger, but he could talk my ear off if I didn’t learn when to say no.” Chuckling, your lanky friend joined you at your side and leaned back against the counter, opening his beer while you took a sip of the whiskey in your cup. He watched as your nose just barely wrinkled compared to the way that his scrunched up after every sip of straight bourbon, and admiration quickly overtook his features, not able to slip away fast enough when you looked up at him.

“What?” you laughed, cocking your head a bit when he smiled at you oddly, sitting his beer on the counter. “I know I left my flat in a hurry, but do I really look that rough today?”

“No, no,” he stammered, laughing nervously as he looked forward to observe your friends out in the living room. His heart was racing, and he feared that you could hear it from that close as he swallowed hard, speaking again. “Far from it.”

That brought a slight blush to your cheeks, and you looked forward as well, your brain racing a million miles a minute as you tried to calm down. Brian usually never made you this flustered, so it was confusing to you that such a simple comment could spike your heart rate so easily. What happened?

Looking over to him again, you desperately tried to work out what was different about Brian now versus every other time he’d made an offhanded flirtatious comment all throughout your childhood. He was still looking at the living room, his eyes brimming with something unreadable, and you realized how much he’d grown from the spindly little straight-haired preppy boy you’d grown up with. 

Now he was even taller in multiple ways - of course, his height had shot up, but he also held himself in a more confident way too. He was unafraid for the most part, far from the nervous wreck you’d spent hours upon hours convincing to go do hoodrat shit with you. 

He was so sure of things now. Even if he had momentary doubts, he’d never been focused on something more than he was with the band. 

And, it did help that he was absolutely beautiful now. He’d began growing out his hair, and the curls that were on constant display were fascinating, jet-black and shiny and tempting to touch. His aquiline nose and toothy smile only added to the charm, all of it wrapped together by the warm hazel eyes that were always watching you, like right now, and suddenly you realized you were both staring at each other a moment too late as Roger came in, looking between the two of you.

Deciding against the obvious question, he instead raised an eyebrow and looked over to the empty whiskey bottle to your right, scowling. “Who did it?”

Thoroughly flustered and distracted, you took a moment to realize that Brian was pointing directly to you, and with an astonished cry, you smacked his hand away, cursing him as he laughed at you.

And from there, a slow burn of a friends-to-lover flame was alight. And I mean slow, as in not reaching culmination until 1973 or 1974, when they were really starting to make it big-time. After all, this was a ‘one of the boys’ relationship you’d had going on previously, so navigating from that to accepting your attraction to Brian and his requited attraction to you was difficult.

You’d never realized how much you really wanted to be more than just his friend until he was off on the Queen II tour and you’d gotten a call from Roger telling you that they were heading back suddenly, due to Brian’s rapidly declining health. And in those hours between that call and their arrival in London, you’d never felt more afraid. 

Suddenly, you knew exactly what it was like to be on Brian’s side of things, so you rushed to the hospital to see him.

He was yellow, so off-color, and he looked so weak when you saw him that you almost started crying when he managed a smile at your appearance. 

“Jesus, Brian, you’ve caught your death,” you muttered as you stood there next to his bed, knowing you couldn’t really touch him - that was the worst part. Now, more than ever, you wanted to hug him. But the risk of transfer was daunting, and you didn’t know if it was aggressive enough to be transmitted even by an embrace.

“Feels like it,” he laughed, his voice softer than ever before, and you frowned as you decided holding his hand was enough, taking the yellowing fingers between yours and lacing your hand with his, squeezing it gently when he gave you another soft smile. “Glad you’re here.”

“Wish we were anywhere but here, honestly,” you replied gently, on the verge of tears at the sight of your best friend so weak. “Do you need anything? Water? Food? A book?”

“Oh, shut up,” he mumbled at your fussing, a small laugh leaving his lips as he closed his eyes. “All I need right now is you. Thank you.”

“Never in my life would I expect to be thanked for hanging around and annoying the daylights out of you. Don’t you get tired of me, May?” you teased softly, trying to ease up the atmosphere as his thumb traveled over your knuckles slowly, the calloused, scratchy pad of this thumb leaving small white marks on your skin where it irritated you.

“Never,” he croaked out, so quiet you almost missed it, but a blush spread on your cheeks as you realized what needed to be said. It was now or never, and honestly, Brian was never going to have the balls to say it. That, unfortunately, was your department.

“Good. Because unfortunately, I really think you’re stuck with me for good now.”

“What?” he asked, not fully understanding what you were propositioning, although there was a hint of hope in his eyes as he opened them slowly, looking over at you. 

“I think it’s about time we went on a proper date. You and me.” You gave him a sly smile, seeing a shallow fluttering of his chest as he reckoned with what you’d just said. 

“Right now?” he whined softly, looking around at the room and sighing. “You really picked the worst time to decide that you fancied me back.”

“Oh, shut up.” It was your turn to send him an annoyed look as you stood up, giving his hand one last squeeze before heading towards the door, stopping right before you got there and looking back at him. “Anything you want me to smuggle up from the cafeteria for our date?”

He watched you for an exceedingly long time, staying completely silent and just admiring you before finally swallowing dryly and laughing a bit. “I wish I could kiss you right now.”

“I don’t think that’s on the menu down there, sorry, lovie.” He rolled his eyes at your attempt at teasing, and closed his eyes as you grinned to yourself, practically floating down the hallway on pure love.

[maxhoemo]

Chicago - 1923 

It was a cold, crisp evening in February. The snow blew in the harsh wind, cutting the skin like a knife. Women struggled to trudge up the sidewalk, turning up the collars of their fur coats over their eyes. 

Ian Carter, from the comfort of his automobile, laughed as he lit up a cigar. “Ya’ imagine walkin’ in this, Chet?” he asked one of his goons.

“Ech. No way...” The sleazy right-hand shook his head. 

“Come on boss,” said his driver. “Don’t ya’ feel a little sorry for em’?”

“I aint got no sympathy for a dame in a mink coat. She can afford not to walk, she’s just too stupid. Or proud... I’ll tell ya’ who I feel sorry for... Them,” He pointed out the window. A handful of people stood at the corner. This particular corner was well known to a certain segment of society. “Hookers and Gunsels... Them’s the ones with no choice.”

“Ya’ got a big heart, boss.”

“I do. Don’t I?” Ian agreed, leaning back in his seat. “Speaking of my big heart, after dinner I’ve got a certain act of, uhh, charity... I wanna conduct over on 11th. If you know what I mean.”

------

“Don’t I know you from somewhere?”

“I’m sure you don’t....” Max answered, a little more snippy then he intended. He hated cleaning up after these drunks! But he knew he had to help with the family business... And earn money other ways... Prohibition had not been kind to his family. His grandfather’s Australian style pub had been a huge hit when he’d first come over, but the outlawing of alcohol had nearly sent them all to the poor house. Max had been wearing the same stained old work shirt for a year now. Maybe longer. And those thugs... Those thugs who sold his father hooch at jacked up prices and threatened him and skimmed his earnings...! Those dogs got to live the high life! It made Max’s blood boil! He didn’t even notice how rough he was suddenly scrubbing the table. Shaking his head, he threw the rag back into the bucket and went to get some clean water.

As he was filling his bucket, he heard a sudden commotion. He raced out from the back. It was those goons! Coming to threaten his father again. “Hey!” Max called. “Leave him alone!” He tried pulling his dad back, out of their grip but it was no use.

“Max, please, stay out of this...” His father begged. 

“No! I’m not gonna let them hurt you again!” 

“Ya’ think yer tough, daffy boy?” One goon asks. Max was about to make a smart remark when he found his face inches away from the end of a switchblade. 

“Don’t!” His father cried.

Max was just frozen in place.

------

“Oh Man! That was some good corn!”

“Right here,” Ian instructed his driver. “I want this place for myself...” He adjusted his jacket before stepping inside. His chest puffed out and his men on either side of him. He didn’t expect to step into the middle of a commotion.

“Hey!” he shouted. His loud booming voice enough to intimidate the two goons.

“Shit...” One mumbled.

“Hey...” The other spoke up. “This place is Vinny’s territory.”

“Not anymore it aint. Now make tracks. Unless the two of you want a couple of Chicago overcoats, huh?”

“Vinny’ll hear about this...” One threatened as they left.

“Yeah. Tell him all about it...” Ian turned back to the owner. “You okay?”

The younger one, he just shook his head and looked down. 

“What kid, no thank you?” Ian teased. But the boy turned around and walked away. 

Max just wanted all of these types of people out of his life. Though he knew that was impossible as long as his family was on the wrong side of the law. He sat down at an empty table. Running his hands through his hair, he let out a deep exhale. He took a cigarette from his pocket and placed it between his lips. But as luck would have it, he was out of matches.

“Need a light?”

Max looked up. It was him. “Go away.”

Ian didn’t respond. As usual, Ian did what he pleased. Taking a seat beside Max he lit his cigarette for him with his lighter.

Max took a puff, raising an irritated eyebrow at the man. The smoke billowing around his delicate features. 

“Look,” Ian said. “I just wanna talk to you.”

“Well, I don’t wanna talk to you.”

“Don’t I know you from somewhere?”

Max’s face fell. “No,” he hissed in a stern voice.

“Sure I do,” Ian went on. Flashing his famous smile. “Up on the street corner. I wouldn’t forget a pretty face like yours.”

Max clenched his teeth, narrowing his eyes at Ian. “You’re making fun of me!?” He slammed his hand down on the table. “That how rich cunts get their kicks?”

“No, no. You’ve got me all wrong.” Ian placed his hand over Max’s. “It’s not like that. I just mean, you work so hard. For your family. I wanna help you.”

“Help me? I don’t...”

“Look. I know Vinny cut your pops a bad deal. Sendin’ his chopper squad around here. And, well... I just can’t stand to see human suffering.”

Max rolled his eyes. “Sure...”

“What do you charge up there? 25? 30 cents a go?”

“Kick off...!” Max pulled his hand away, his voice cracking.

Shit... Ian wasn’t trying to upset the little daisy.... “Hey, hey. Shh.. Shh...” He grabbed the spindle of Max’s chair with one hand and pulled it closer. Their two seats now practically touching. “I’m just saying, you shouldn’t have to do that.”

“Why the hell would you care!?” Max shouted in a whisper. Obviously this was not the kind of conversation he wanted anyone to overhear.

“Because...” Ian’s eyes shifted back and forth. He looked around the room before leaning in closer. His own voice dropping to a whisper as well. “What’s your name?”

“Max...” he whispered back. Still annoyed, but confused on top of it.

“Max...” Ian leaned in closer. Whispering softly into Max’s ear. “You’re hiding something... Well, so am I...” He ran his hand up Max’s thigh, causing him to jump. He squeezed it, less than an inch away from touching his crotch. Max’s breath hitched in his throat. “More than just how you bring in the dough... Am I onto something...?”

Max didn’t answer.

“You got thoughts in your head. And feelings. And you try and hide em’. But it’s hard, aint it Max?” Ian’s soft whisper. His breath against his ear. It made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He bit down on his lip. “I’m the same way...” Max’s dick twitched. He cursed himself silently. Crossing his legs, Ian retracted his hand. 

“W-what are you going on about....?”

“I want to make you an offer.”

“What...?” He turned to look at him.

“How would you like to never work again? What if you could have everything you ever wanted? Just come home with me. You’ll have everything you could ever need.”

Max’s eyes studied Ian for a moment, before he pursed his lips and leaned away. “I am not interested in being your sex slave.”

“No,” Ian laughed. “Dollface. Ya’ got it all wrong. You don’t gotta do anything. You don’t even have to touch me.”

Max raised an eyebrow. He couldn’t make sense of this guy. Nothing in this world was for free. Max had learned that long ago.

“I just want someone around. Someone I can relate to. To talk to... To... Look at... To...” He struggled to articulate it. “...Keep me company.”

“That’s really all you want...?”

“Swear to God.”

Max was silent for a moment. He seriously considered the man’s offer. Who didn’t want to live the high life? Be one of the lucky ones? Of course it was tempting... But these were thugs. They were dangerous. And if Max had learned anything it was that they were not to be trusted. And besides... “My family needs me.”

“You’re family’ll be safer than they ever were before.”

“How so?”

“Look. That’s what I came here for in the first place. This speakeasy here. This is valuable territory to me. I want it. And that’s all I want. Me and my boys will protect your family. And we’ll give em’ a fair price on the merchandise. And I don’t need no cut.”

“Well, I find that all a little hard to believe.”

“Max. All I’m interested in is taking this place out of the control of that putz. That’s my only motivation.”

“Oh really? It seemed more like you were here to chat me up.”

“You? Nah. You’re just a little bonus,” Ian flashed him that smile of his again. “You in or...”

“Well... I...”

“You look awful hungry. You know I just had this real nice steak and toast. But hell... I could eat again...”

Max frowned. What a sleeze-ball. Max lived entirely off of soup. And even that had been tight lately.... This guy was using everything he could against him. But... What an offer... He could only imagine the way these guys ate. And did he really mean that? He wouldn’t have to touch him? Not do anything at all? It didn’t make any sense. He couldn’t really just be lonely. What if this was all some kind of trick? What if they killed him? Max couldn’t really think of any reason they would have to do that. But these were thugs. Maybe they just got their jollies off that way. But then again... Ian hadn’t hurt anyone... He hadn’t threatened anyone. Maybe Max had them pegged all wrong. After all, he and his family made their money illegally too... Besides. Going home to a leftover pot of broth was not appealing. He couldn’t live in regret over such an oppurtunity. Even if Ian was a phoney, he could at least see for himself. “Umm... Well... Maybe I’ll give it a go. A small go. But if I change my mind... You’ve gotta bring me right back home. As soon as I ask, got it?”

“Of course. You’re a free bird, Max.”

“Well then, I suppose I accept your offer. For now.”

Ian grinned and held out his hand, which Max shook. Was he making a huge mistake...?

[themapleleafdiaries]

OC Interview- Nayru Gallagher

Rules:

1 Choose an OC.

2 Answer them as that OC.

3 Tag 5 people to do the same!

Tagged by: @sassyfahliil

Tagging: i already did this lol

(Here’s Nayru now. I had to do her too, you know?)

1. What is your name?

Nayru Leona Regine Gallagher.

2. Do you know why are you named that?

My first name means Wisdom, and my two middle names are both of my grandmothers.

3. Are you single or taken?

Oh, single.

4. Have any abilities or powers?

Besides my Dragonborn abilities, I am a mage with skill mostly in the Destruction and Conjuration schools.

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

Is that really such a big issue? I am what I am, and I say get used to it.

6. What’s your eye color?

 Blue.

7. How about your hair color?

Oh, it used to be a darker, more golden blonde. But one mishap with an attempt at an appearance changing Illusion spell, it’s progressed to being nearly white. 

8. Have any family members?

Just my older brother, Marcus, now. My parents and younger sister are gone.

9. Oh? How about pets?

A cat! I named him Cabbage! He’s a little brat sometimes, but he’s my baby.

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like.

Entitled asshole men. Mostly men in a position of power. They are quite impossible, I find.

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?

Hmm. I do like to read, I suppose. And i’m getting good at leatherwork, so theres that.

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?

Yes.

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

Is this an interview, or an interrogation? I think if we want to stay friends, we should stick to less unecessary questions.

14. What kind of animal are you?

A dragon, obviously.

15. Name your worst habits?

Oh, i’m sure if you asked my brother, he would have loads to tell you. Or not, maybe he doesn’t want a tongue lashing later, ha.

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?

No, not really.

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?

Oh, I don’t base the attraction I have to someone on their gender. That’s not a factor. I guess that’s called.... pansexual? I believe.

18. Do you go to school?

I had private schooling back in Cyrodiil, like my other siblings. All of the various subjects were taught by a governess our mother hired.

Now, I suppose, i’m at the College of Winterhold. The Archmage, actually, but that story is far too long and I am guessing you don’t have all day, like me.

19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?

Maybe. That’s what I was destined for back in Cyrodiil, to marry a rich lord and have kids and manage a household. My life is sufficiently different in Skyrim, so im not sure. I do adore children, though.

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?

Oh, yes. I’ve met many of my fans. It’s a bit strange, really. 

21. What are you most afraid of?

I apologize, I don’t feel quite comfortable enough discussing that with you.

22. What do you usually wear?

I do love to wear dresses when I can, but trousers are more practical, so I wear those a bit more often. See me dressing up whenever the opportunity presents itself, though!

23. What’s one food that tempts you?

Cheese! Oh, and tea!

24. Am I annoying to you?

Oh no love, you’re alright. This is your job, I understand that.

25. Well, it’s still not over!

Alright then. Might I ask we tone it down on the really personal questions? That would be grand.

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?

I suppose i’m high class. That’s what I grew up as. When I came to Skyrim I had nothing, but i’ve built myself up through hard work. It’s been quite the journey.

27. How many friends do you have?

Oh, quite a few. Always a good idea to be friendly to the people you meet, it’s better than being on their bad side!

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

Oh, fruit pie is alright. Meat pies are alright as well, but when I was younger we had this monster of a pie on one or two occasions– Battalia Pie I believe it’s called– and that pie had every kind of meat under the sun. Name an animal, it was in the bloody pie. Honestly ridiculous.

29. Favorite drink?

Oh, tea. I prefer black teas, but herbal teas are alright as well.

30. What’s your favorite place?

Riften has really... grown on me. The forest itself is beautiful, and the city has this certain... charm to it that it didn’t have before. Riften has really picked up in the past while, don’t you think?

31. Are you interested in anyone?

I... thought we agreed on no more really personal questions?

32. That was a stupid question…

You’re all right, love. Let’s just keep to our agreement now, shall we?

33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

Oh, neither if i can help it.

34. What’s your type?

Oh, no type. Just don’t be dodgy, or an abusive pillock, and we’re alright.

35. Any fetishes?

*sigh* Are you forgetting something?

36. Camping or outdoors?

Uhh, those are pretty similar.

[emperorholyalone]

cillian murphy, 39, holy roman empire. ––– i believe that is CONRAD HABSBURG, the HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR. they are THIRTY NINE years old and are known to be very + ATTENTIVE & + UNWAVERING, though they can also be very - SHORT-TEMPERED  & - SELFISH. they feel BITTER about the end of the great war.

heyyyy there!! i’m roman, 25, EST, i use they/them pronouns and i’m just out here trying my best tbh. this is conrad, the worst, and he’s here to make everything harder for every single person he encounters, whether by accident or on purpose. i work all day today so i won’t be around until late tonight to start writing and plotting, but feel free to hop into my ims in the meantime if anything strikes you! i’m SO excited to be here!!! now onto the deets:

BASICS

FULL NAME: Conrad Habsburg

AGE: 39

DATE OF BIRTH: December 24

ZODIAC SIGN: Capricorn

SEXUALITY: Bisexual, with a preference for men (and some Light Catholic Guilt™ to go with it)

GENDER: Cis man

PRONOUNS: He/him

APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: Cillian Murphy

HEIGHT: 5′ 8″

HAIR COLOR: Black, with white throughout

EYE COLOR: Blue

SCARS: Long, thick scar from top of left shoulder to mid back from battle, a collection of typical scars from childhood and battles

HABITS/MANNERISMS: More likely to stare for a long time blankly than respond to things he deems less than important, aka “dead eyes”

PERSONALITY

MBTI PERSONALITY: ENTJ, “The Commander”

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Lawful Neutral

ENNEAGRAM PERSONALITY: Type 6, “The Loyalist”

MAIN VIRTUE/MAIN SIN: Diligence/Sloth

TEMPERAMENT: Choleric

DETAILS 

as the second born male of the habsburg family, it was never thought that he may end up ruling, and thus he was raised to believe just that. he was given much the same training as his eldest brother, but instead of being encouraged to learn to fight and rule, he was raised to have an interest in a more docile life, filled with less traditionally masculine interests.

it was never something he minded, and he never truly held the desire to rule in more than title, anyway, but there was a sort of latent desire for that recognition, a quiet jealousy of what he knew his brother was being trained to claim eventually. it was never acted upon, though, and he was always supremely supportive of his every whim, and protective, to a degree.

(that sort of i’ll make fun of him because he’s my brother, but if you look at him the wrong way you’re DEAD deal, you know)

when his brother was killed, it changed things and sort of spurred him into action, making him realize there was but one thing to do, and that was to do everything he could to take his place, and to avenge his death. in a big way, in conrad’s mind, the war was less about the invasion of the ottomans and more about his brother’s murder, which perhaps caused him to make foolish decisions through the war.

one of those foolish decisions was going to battle himself, even without the military skills of more seasoned leaders. that decision eventually nearly lead to his own death. after that, he commanded from afar for the remainder of the war.

there are still some who believe he had a hand in his brother’s death because of his own desire for recognition, and the whispered upon jealousy as he grew older, and that his extreme reaction (and continuing obsession) is merely an act, or a manifestation of the guilt, but it’s as far from the truth as possible.

if anything, his brother’s murder finally lit the fire within him to want to do well for his memory’s sake, in a way, and he holds onto that power tightly now, can hardly fathom life without it.

even before he became emperor, there were rumors surrounding him on his choice of partners, although mostly kept to whispers in the hallways. those rumors still persist, and they’re true. especially before the war he was liberal with his desire, with men and women alike, a habit which has only been slightly curbed as he’d gotten older.

probably married, maybe has a child or is about to have one, maybe also has a bastard or two running around, definitely still has at least one male lover he keeps around, who really knows, we’ll find out about all of that soon hopefully when i make some choices

to this day, he’s still obsessed with finding out who ordered the poisoning specifically, to extract revenge. it’s an unhealthy obsession that those closest to him continuously beg him to let go of, the war having done enough damage to count as just that even without an individual to blame, knowing it’s likely whoever did pass the order is dead now. but he continues to seek information, and it’s one of the reasons he’s not precisely pleased that the war’s ended, although he knew that agreeing to peace was in the best interest of his people.

genuinely does want what’s best for the empire, and still kind of has a bit of a complex of trying to prove that he, too, is a good emperor, despite everything, despite never being the first choice, and in his mind agreeing to peace felt a bit like a failure, because it wasn’t winning, even though he knew that it was the only way to keep things together with how the war was going.