#and now its everyone working and fighting together and???? i wasnt expecting this!!!

[feline-evil]

So the mtl s2 finale really grabbed me by the bawls full force goddamn

[i-think-i-have-too-many-fandoms]

Ok so first off I'm just going to say that i know next to nothing about the fancasted Slytherin boys but i have been unable to get Mattheo Riddle out of my head for the last few day so here we are now

Mattheo Riddle x Hufflepuff!reader Warnings: Use of Y/n, cussing, possible bad writing.( lmk if there's any others i should add)

The summer before your sixth year at Hogwarts was spent bettering yourself in all the ways you thought were flawed. You were tired of being the odd one out in your circle of friends. You wanted the love that they had. None of them understood when you told them you wanted the fights they got into, they'd tell you you're romanticizing it too much and that it wasnt all love and roses, but you understood that, you wanted the dark parts as well as the light parts - you wanted to learn how to fix a fight. You wanted everything, but no one else seemed to want it - actually, thats not true they wanted stuff like that just not with you. With you they wanted to use your body then get rid of you by morning. You didnt like it it but you'd decided long ago that maybe its all you deserve, all you'll ever receive from anyone. Until HE was partnered with you on a project in potions class. All was well in your little fake world until HE started flirting with you anytime you'd work on the project together.

Everything was fine until one day he got a dare from Draco. "hey mate, noticed you've been hanging around with that one hufflepuff" Draco smirks at his friend whilst sitting down at a table the others had set up for studying in the library. "care to tell rest of the class if she's really as good as everyone makes her sound?" As Draco spoke Mattheo could feel his jaw tense. "And what the hell are you on about now Malfoy?" "Oh you know just the fact that your crushing on a whore." Draco leans back folding his arms across his chest before Mattheo kicks the chair out from underneath him. "And how many girls have you used for the same thing Draco? You have no right to speak about someone when your the exact same." Mattheo raised his voice looking down his nose at the blond boy. "Oh don't believe me? Give her a month, hell she'll probably be trying to jump you after a week of being just plain nice." Draco moves to his feet while speaking. Mattheo continuing to look down upon Draco says a quiet and simple "fine." before pushing the bleach blond twat back to his seat and reclaiming his to go back to studying.

Over the week following that night Mattheo let his affections pour down on you, he'd gotten to know you and he let you see parts of his soul that no one else had been able to. After the month was up and you hadnt done anything about your feelings for him and Draco realized he was wrong he started spreading the knowledge of the dare to anyone he spoke to. Gossip wasn't much of a big thing at Hogwarts so when there was big news it tended to spread like wildfire, but often got skewed along grapevine.

You had been sitting in the library with Hermione studying for a test when you'd noticed she looked as if she'd had something she'd wanted to say. So when finally you'd grown restless of her bouncing knee you ask her the question you've been dying to know the answer too. "Merlins beard, Hermione what is it." She looked up at you with a look on her face as if she had no idea what you were talking about. "Hermione?" You said her name in a questioning tone and she looked as if she caved within her mind. "Well, Draco's been talking, about the many people you've been with - and i am in NO way shaming you for anything - but he's been saying that there was a bet, with Mattheo that involved you, and supposedly he bet Mattheo that you'd go along with anything if he had y'know with you, and that that's why you've been hanging around him so much." The red haired girl spoke cautiously as if expecting you to break down right in front of her. You opened your mouth to say something, the one person you didnt want to see walked in. You had completely forgotten about agreeing to tutor him. You looked at him, no longer with a look of happiness approaching your face but instead a look of animosity grew and without a word you stood and collected your books walking past Hermoine and Mattheo going to your dorm room to collect your thoughts.

Mattheo gave the Granger girl and questioning and concerned look to which she responded with a pointed one and told him to go find Draco before turning back to her studies. So he did, he went to the grand hall to see if he was eating lunch, he went to the quidditch field to see if the blond was gallivanting on his broom. And lastly - which honestly it should have been first - he checks the Slytherin common room and it's inevitably where he finds the blond lounging on a sofa. Mattheo bounds toward Malfoy and picks him up by the lapels of his uniform jacket and shoves him to the nearest wall. Matttheo on his search for Draco had heard the rumours that were going around and each one making him angrier and angrier. He wants to yell at the boy against the wall but he doesnt want prying ears hearing. "What have you done Malfoy?" His words dripping with acidity and the blonds name punctuated with a rough shove against the wall. "I know nothing of what you mean Riddle." Another rough shove to the wall and Mattheo asks the question again. "What. Have you. Done. Malfoy."

"Nothing, I was merely speaking with Nott in a not so private corridor about that bet we had. It is not my fault that people overheard." That sentence earned him another shove. "You'll take it back." Mattheo was trying desperately to know some sense into the otherwise senseless boy of what he'd just done without saying it outright but never the less Draco still figured it out. "You aren't in love with her are you Riddle?" Draco spoke seemingly disgusted at the fact. "You. Take. It. Back." Becoming more and more in pain, and the look on Mattheos face reminding him of a certain someone who can't be named, Draco finally surrendered, agreeing to take back what he'd said. Mattheo let go but kneeing him in the stomach before he left to make his point known. He then made his way to the Hufflepuff dorms to find you, and explain himself, and maybe grovel/beg for forgiveness.

When he gets to the to for the dorms he knocks, he has a friend in Hufflepuff that has been waiting for him. They let him in and tell him discreetly where your dorm is. He makes his way through the halls and up the stairs until he's standing in front of your door. Before he knocks he's wracking his brain trying to figure out what to say but all thoughts he had went running away when he heard your soft sobs through the door. No doubt because of him.

Instead of knocking he opens the door quietly (thank goodness it wasn't locked) and made his way inside, he closed the door behind. You looked up at the noise of the door closing and made brief eye contact with Mattheo before looking away again. "why are you here? I know about your bet so you can just forget about everything." Your words bitter as you snapped at him. "Love… there was no bet of the type that you have undoubtedly heard. Draco - called you something i don't intend on repeating to you, and I want- no- needed to prove him wrong. i am so desperately sorry for any pain he i have made you." Mattheo walks up your now standing form and kneels in front of you resting his hands on your hips. "I- I can't do this, I let you in. I- I broke MY rules for you - FOR you. Because I- I loved you." He shoots up to his feet and rests his palms on your cheeks. "Don't- don't use past tenses we can still have this, we can still do this it doesn't have to end just because of some pitiful joke i made in a fit of rage. Please, one more chance and if i fail you again i leave you alone forever, I- I promise." the look in his eyes told you he was sincere yet you still doubted it. The one person you'd let fully inside to see the darkest parts hurt you, but it was something small, and Draco has that effect on everybody. You pull his face to yours connecting your lips together, his hands move from your cheeks to the small of your back to pull you closer. When you pull away breathing uneven. "Is that a 'we can be together' type of kiss." He smiled wide when he finishes speaking. "oh shut up." You pull him in for another kiss.

[joelletwo]

wrestling with the 4devas bitchslap again to convince myself its fine if graveyard wins the best ep tourney: it's not the other bloggers who are wrong, it's me

not a complete response to but definitely in conversation with and asking some of the same questions again as @reductionisms's 4devas essay, which tries to square gintoki's "life doesn't need to be fun, i just need you to live" being a series-sanctioned message he's given to villains as an arc-concluding moral continuously up until 4devas with it here being an incorrect worldview that needs to be (physically) corrected by shinpachi, the straightman tonal signpost of gintama

a conflict i have been perplexed by ever since i got to this line on my first watch a year or two ago, since i've seen this line before! all over fandom! as part of the general "dont [bottom text] kill yourself" motivational messaging of gintama that i love!

and, briefly, when i hit 4devas i was also in the middle of being really frustrated by the new arc pattern i was seeing crop up: i loved the villains-turned sympathetic-turned someone worth saving by gintoki tune of the first half of gintama, but it fell massively flat for me in Yoshiwara in Flames, where i was never convinced to be on housen's side but had to watch him get a heartwarming redemptive death at the side of the woman he abused anyways.

then shortly after i had the same exact experience in Red Spider with jiraia, and i thought, if this is what gintama is gonna do with its shitty dudes from now on im gonna quit the fucking show. and then shortly after that i met jirochou and saw him cut down otose the woman he loved (under a raining sky!!! the fucking sky motifs!!! the signpost im about to watch a dude be shittily violent to women and be expected to feel sorry for him about it) and saw too much red to really take in the rest of the arc level-headedly or care about anything in it lol.

so it was written off in my mind as the 'otose almost gets fridged' arc until i rewatched it this week. then i had to remember, oh yeah, there's a ton of political maneuvering fakeouts in this arc that i never actually squared back with how the plot presented itself prior to the reveals, so i'd still been thinking about the "fakeout" plot. then i read the manga version with all the "truths" in mind from the start, and finally i felt like i could understand what this arc is doing a little better.

(way) tldr (4.4k words. sorry): do i love this arc? eh. do i still hate it? eh. but it's doing stuff!

first, i was able to see an echo in all the "actually i was planning to betray you the whole time" "actually i was working to help you the whole time" plot beats of what sorachi does with the larger edo/universe story further into the back half of the manga. if i ever sound like i didnt enjoy or wasnt convinced by the execution of these "reveals," it's because i didnt and wasnt, lol. but it's fun that he had fun with them i guess.

the arc starts with pirako ingratiating herself into yorozuya, then having a classic "bump into you and pretend to be injured to extort you" encounter w her dad's gang. to resolve this without escalating into violence, gintoki... does it back to them, which is really funny. but thus the tone is set for the arc of: DISHONEST APPROACHES TO CONFLICT.

pirako isnt honest about her overall intentions the, like, seven different times that she "admits her real ones." kada plays at peacekeeper in the devas while being the ultimate person scheming to get the upper hand over everyone else in the end. (she's also secretly harusame, evil amanto outsider who acts as a unifying force for the kabukicho fighting itself to band together against and expel: sorachi's favorite move! the problem was never internal, it's the shadowy REAL antagonists who infiltrated us)

jirochou and otose are ultimately doing a pantomime of conflict to try to keep temperatures down and escalations from breaking out, so no one they care about has to get hurt. gintoki doesn't know this until the end, but he follows in their footsteps after his encounter with them in the graveyard: he plays at having given up to the rest of yorozuya so they'll leave and escape the coming kabukicho war, the same thing otose was trying with him. it fails both times. i'm really not sure why gintoki and otose thought it would work, honestly. they should know their kids are stubborn as hell.

but gintoki is in a bind because of the things he needs to protect, and all of his actions are primarily in service of that, to the detriment of how he'd prefer to act if he were less restricted. he is unsurprised and unoffended to hear saigou is only willing to warn them, not help them, because her son is in danger if she acts directly. all four devas are, seemingly, being mutually restrained this way, holding back even when blatantly manipulated to do so. the other constant of this arc: everyone is dishonest, and no one wants to risk losing what they have.

gintoki understands that! of course! he's had to make that calculus before, after all :)

and this arc is just one big cliff scene echo: the entire graveyard scene pushing gintoki to emotional regression because he thinks he's losing another parent figure, one he's just seen the Gintoki Figure of the arc cut down, no less (takasugi stolen valor when he goes berserk against him and only ends up uselessly bleeding out on the ground about it, honestly). otose goes into this willingly so gintoki can live. he accepts this decision because he values protecting her values (her kids living on) and is briefly broken by it (the story says, before giving him shinpachi to "put him back on track"). prior to the bitchslap, after saying he just wants them to live, even if it has to be without him, he says:

i dont have a good understanding of when we start getting reveals of gintoki's backstory versus foreshadowing because i went into gintama already knowing most of it, but definitely by the recent red spider where we get our first real look at (or really, first listen to) shouyou. but here we actually get some of what gintoki felt about it, which he keeps closely guarded even when the whole truth comes out: he's done his best to survive having lost, but it was so unbearable he can't face losing again.

(also, honorable mention backstory echo, the person calling him a brother sets his home on fire to drive him and his parent figure out of town. as i liveblogged: this one would really hurt gintoki if gintoki cared about anything oboro ever did!)

but with the shinpachi story-rerouting, they get the good end, keep everyone (otose, yorozuya, all of kabukicho, even pirako and her dad - everyone but kada) safe without having to sacrifice a single thing, even keep gintoki hopeful for this outcome. so, as goose points out, we are left to understand that there could have been a good end on the cliff, that something is different here than there, and, skipping a lot of math, that that is the people around gintoki.

which i do find really funny to imagine as a slam on takasugi and katsura. sorry you kids suck too much, your teacher dies bc u were cringefail. but lets look at it.

everyone is dishonest, no one wants to risk what they have: gintoki rallies himself to keep fighting but is determined to do it alone. kagura and shinpachi fight him on this; they can't leave because they don't want to lose their home, they can't let him fight alone because they don't want to lose him. they're just as restricted by what they have to keep safe, but their only option is to act where everyone else's is inaction. shinpachi says:

if i may skip over the bitchslap itself for now, gintoki does consent to let his allies fight with him after it. yorozuya stands alone against saigou, who's heavily demoralized but resigned, strongarmed into fighting them by the threat to her son. but on seeing their resolve to keep protecting their own precious home and family she says:

and, to skip straight to my thought, i think this is what turns the tides back in their favor. there are more twists and turns to the fight. pirako equates what binds saigou, which she herself equates to what binds the yorozuya, to what binds her:

(with an intentional distinction that she's willing to actively destroy the others', as opposed to their purely self defensive fighting, which is echoed at some point in her distinguishing gintoki from jirochou in the same way, that jirochou not only lives to protect like gintoki but is willing to destroy in the process. i don't find that part as interesting, but it's more fuel to the power of having something to protect as a driving force as an arc theme.)

so now all three stand on the same ground, absolutely unwilling to give up what they hold dear, but all their cards are on the table. they aren't dealing in 12 dimensions of tricksy defensive pre-emptive moves anymore. they know it wouldnt work, anyways, since they all know their drives to protect are the same and no one will be talked into backing down. now they can directly duke it out and let the winner be determined that way, on strength of will. even before the actual circumstances change, the fight somehow feels freer seeing how inevitable it is. and with everything out in the open, yorozuya can now protect each other and saigou's son, taking out one side of the conflict.

(and with everything out in the open, the ultimate 4devas villain can become the single person who continues to betray the others, kada, whose further machinations - with everything out in the open! - saigou (and later yorozuya) can choose to protect pirako from. everyone wins! because everything was out in the open! do you see where i'm going)

and so we come back to the question: gintoki is corrected, the arc is rerailed to the better outcome. so is the correction justified?

what does the correction accomplish outside of its moment? most convincingly to me of goose's presented options, i also think it's done as a thematic shift, a, okay, just live was a strategy that worked before but now doesn't suffice, so we need something more.

as to why this is needed now and not earlier or later...tldr bad planning <3 but like.

we have, prior to this, a consistent thrust of arcs where gintoki teaches people to lose. as well, while we meet the harusame and we visit space and we get the barest glimpses of takasugi's weird shadowy background moves there, largely we're dealing with kabukicho characters and kabukicho stories. we see or only hear about the shogun for short comedic moments only. we've largely dropped the series intro focus on things like the shinsengumi or hasegawa acting as foreign diplomats. it's a local series, a hometown series, a kabukicho and not even an edo at large series, a personal story about gintoki making personal connections with his personal experience as a flawed person with a flawed approach to life that has let him, chronic slacker, get by on the bare minimum.

at this moment, chapter 300, we have a slow trickle of gintoki backstory starting to come out to us. we've recently expanded the story focus to include yoshiwara, which gets a callout in this arc by kada to keep it relevant. we have an arc of sorachi testing out plot beats that he'll use again for the endgame, in all the political maneuvering and alliancing and betraying and shadowy outsider space governmenting, where he's also doing a lot of echoing of that backstory that only becomes clear later. so it's possible he's thinking about shifting gears and setting up for the eventual endgame, which means getting out of the episodic cycle so things can stick.

and after this arc, to my opinion and memory, we stop getting the classic gintama flavor sympathizable'd antagonists. a lot of the bigger arcs don't even have clear Big Shot antagonists anymore, being more about the shouyoucore theme of characters fighting against themselves, or if there is one they're always explicitly part of the Shadow Government now, a unified and more daunting force than someone they can win over with an inspiring gintoki interaction.

so 4devas does act as a turning point at least in some way. and it's not possible to say this definitively, since all gintama arcs are ultimately never going to be about gintoki or his friends Actually losing something instead of beating the odds, but it does feel like theres a different flavor to, say, dekobokko with its direct look at how chars lives could be different and better and they will still choose to keep struggling as themselves. and Kintama arc definitely doesn't feel like an early days arc, like it can only resolve the way it does with a gintoki who is now able to face his past and the possibility of losing again and again and again (now with, natch, his faith that yorozuya will by his side when he does).

why now, after 300 chapters of letting it sit ignored in the back of his brain working out perfectly fine except when it doesn't (the very reminder of shouyou in a fight making him go Demon Mode, which is like regular gintoki but worse at fighting, bc he is so unprepared to think about shouyou)? well i personally am in big favor of the "take a decade off" strategy for facing problems. it worked for me too. realistically watsonianly its nice to let things percolate in the brain and do some of the processing behind the scenes until its less immediately painful. and he's made many bonds over these 300 chapters, shown in this arc when the whole town rallies behind him, that are there to support him when he needs it now and weren't there before.

realistically doylistly eh. bad planning.

and so we come back to the question: gintoki is corrected, the series as a result is rerailed to a writing space where things can start changing (leave the episodic, as you guys say, sazae-san format). it's useful in the future. so is the correction justified in terms of what comes before it? was the correction needed?

thinking about the bitchslap leads to thinking about the cliff scene leads to (sorry kagura and katsura, you guys arent really relevant here) pitting shinpachi and takasugi against each other in how they act with something on the line they can't bear to give up.

i don’t need the lesson of 4devas to apply logistically to the cliff scene. once they were set up on that chessboard, frozen in their assigned places as a backstory, it’s not like takasugi could’ve power of friendship’d his way out of being physically retrained if he decided he wanted to. it’s set up as a forced choice, it has to play out as a forced choice.

but we see that even before it’s asked of him, takasugi is willing, prepared, unbothered to give up his own life for shouyou’s. this is, goose lays out in the sequel, the cardinal sin in gintama - a teacher shouldn’t outlive their student. it would have been especially egregious to shouyou, whose whole desired life’s purpose is to raise students who can outlive him and outgrow him, take his lessons and go out into the world and do their own thing with them. takasugi doesn’t expect to do this and doesn’t seem to see a point in the possibility if shouyou isn’t back with them.

though we can also think of shouyou as a little too quickly willing to give up on the cliff - sorry, gintoki, the suicidal guy has thought about it for .02 seconds and decided the best outcome is for you to kill him even though he could get out of this no problem. maybe its no wonder gintoki gave up too. can we ask katsura what he would’ve done?

and is takasugi different from shinpachi there? he rejects the mentor’s attempt to exchange his own life for his. he’s not willing to consider a life without him.

but shinpachi is convinced no one is going to die. because they’ll be there together. incredibly naive - shinpachi and kagura, restricted to one option by what they need to protect like everyone is in 4devas, have acting as that one option because they are still free in a way gintoki and the other adults aren't. they’ve never actually experienced the impossible choice that forces you to give up, so they can act as if there isn’t one - what else would they do? why would they think to give up?

but gintoki is defined by having lived the impossible choice. its built into the foundation of him as a character and leaks out everywhere. he couldn’t have relied on his friends on the cliff because they were quite forcibly removed from the picture as an option, not by his or their choice. its written as an inevitability, logistics we find out later be damned.

if we refocus to 4devas, we can look at the Gintoki Figure for a different angle. jirochou, after he and gintoki resolve the arc conflict by being able to team up because they - say it with me - put everything out in the open, tells gintoki about his impetus for abandoning his family and coming back to his wayward life in kabukicho, the death of otose's husband.

it's, um, another now really obvious parallel to gintoki, lol. characters talk about how jirochou does everything he does in this arc to try to atone for his failure to both otose and tatsugorou, and i guess thats true bc he was written that way but he has an odd way of showing it, but anyways he resolves that, despite his guilt over this, all he can do now is keep living and keep protecting what they loved together. he's come to the usual gintama message all on his own, reinforcing that this is the correct way to live in this series. he had his own unavoidably shitty situation, and he came to terms with it.

so then where did jirochou go wrong, in the narrative's eyes (other than abandoning one woman and their child to deal drugs in the town of his other woman while ignoring her)? was there a point he could've changed how their trio's story played out? but he loved and trusted tatsugorou, and he was happy to step aside and let him be the one by their otose's side. i doubt he would have been happy stealing her away even if it were possible.

but if we look at the resolution tool of 4devas... he never put everything out in the open!!! everyone knows he loved otose, but in more of an open secret way. in classic romance plot, he never confessed for second male lead rejection closure. indeed, in the closest we ever get to a main character having a romantic plot in gintama, the very ending of the arc flirts with him doing just that now that he's made a little progress with the arc message, with the entire cast of the arc expecting him to (and interrupting before he can).

but if he had when they were young. if he had been honest with his friends. could it have opened up other options that weren't available on his own, that they didnt know to offer? i have a preferred one lol. but u can get creative with all sorts of life paths that avoid tatsugorou dying that way or, at the least, jirochou feeling chained to a shameful life (living in a town he doesn't go out in to protect a woman he doesnt talk to and feeling like he doesnt deserve the family he abandoned for this) because of it.

and then if we take this and rewind back to the cliff... we get to grind my favorite ax, "shouyou shouldve told literally anyone literally anything about his deal." if gintoki knew more about shouyou, they could've faced his horrors together, the whole time. he couldve known that shouyou was being literal calling himself a demon and not internalized his own identity as one for life just because shouyou bonded with him over it. i truly genuinely think the logical conclusion of all of gintama's big messages are that shouyou and gintoki should have been more open with each other.

but i don't think sorachi thinks that. and, you know, by 4devas rules, the unriskable precious things he was protecting by staying silent were his students' humanity, and secondarily his own fragilely newly hopeful heart that literally couldnt stand another 10 millionth round of rejection (killed himself and then went on a 12 year rampage over it. girl i would too).

and takasugi really isn't dishonest about what's going on in his head when he tells us he expects to die for shouyou. that's as cards on the table as i could ask. gintoki is, a little bit, by omission. he does what i'd want him to here - tells takasugi try just not dying - but doesn't give him a reason to, and doesn't tell him he has no plans of letting anyone die for shouyou.

so what goes wrong on the cliff - shouyou is happy, gintoki is happy, oboro's even kind of happy, katsura is irrelevant - is that takasugi is blindsided (whoops) by their silent agreement that betrays the one he thought he and gintoki had. and then ruins everyone's party about it and spends the next ten years doing so for good measure.

which is also, basically, what shinpachi is going through that prompts the bitchslap, too. he thought they were a team, that they had each others backs, not that gintoki is a one-way protector of them. he is blindsided by gintoki lying to and tricking them and hiding things from them. he is hurt by gintoki feeling hopeless all by himself when he could share that with them and be encouraged by their endless child optimism.

and would it need to have changed anything on the cliff? in the moment after the bitchslap, what contributes to gintoki changing his mindset is tama telling him, we trust that you're capable bc youve always shown us that, can you trust us this time? when, later in the arc, gintoki seems to regress by sending kagura and shinpachi away, he asks them to trust that he's still trusting them, relying on them to help shoulder his burden, and in return they know he's staying alive, not self sacrificing. maybe it would've helped just to feel on the same team and not shut out, to be able to trust gintoki like gintoki was trusting shouyou?

so. two paralleled instances of gintoki making a bad situation worse by keeping to himself and being too self sufficient. that feels clear cut that feels fine im okay with that as a takeaway. do i think its exactly what sorachi had in mind while writing this, as opposed to just a good series 'hey lean on your friends' moment to read cool and tug at the heartstrings? eh lol. i think theres definitely room to read takasugi into this arc (i still need to refind the takagin 4devas post...) but its not so baked in that i think he was a PRIORITY in the plotting.

but is the shinpachi SCOLDING necessary is the scolding justified... and yes its in response to life doesnt need to be fun i just want you to live. still a confusing framing i can't immediately square. but/and more immediately its directly responding. to gintoki opening up to them about his insecurities!!

which, as said, he doesnt do!! he doesnt talk about his failures! its basically like, here and to hijikata that one time and otherwise even when we know all the facts about what happened we still never hear gintoki himself talk about it. (so he really DOESNT learn the lesson here either. he stays dissociated and triggered every time utsuro comes up. he tries to solve the altana baby problem on his own. he doesnt talk to his new friends OR his old friends. bwah. gintoki. silver soul.)

so this is like. its just in the wrong order!! its just in a baffling order lol. if you want gintoki to share his burden do you need to punch him when he shares it. does it also need to sound like you're blaming him for not being capable of upholding his promise to protect anyone when thats the insecurity thats got him all discombobulated this arc in the first place (a whole set of notes i took on this that i didnt find a place for in this post)?? its so weeeeiiiiiirddd lol i dont liiikeee itttttt. theres plenty of things shinpachi can validly punch gintoki for but this is such a weird one.

so i guess. having a clearer understanding of this arc do i hate it less? YES honestly. i hate fakeout plots generally they irritate me but everything... more or less makes sense by gintama standards now that i have the whole plot in mind.

do i hate jirochou less SORT OF? i enjoy him. in his individual relationships. i like his shitty dad deal i love shitty dads. i like him pining for otose who genuinely likes him but also brings up her husband every sentence she says to him just to keep him down. i like his parallels with gintoki that they both explicitly acknowledge and find macho comfort in. hes still not theeeeeeeee most well-developed gintama antagonist but you know? i at least think otose and pirako would want to be around him after this.

do i feel like i have a clearer understanding of the bitchslap moment. NOT CONVINCED I DO. i feel like its going to be one of those things that slips in and out of my understanding like sand in cupped hands. i have a tentative understanding of it that i dont think sorachi actually had in mind. so i dont think ive solved it lol.

will i be cursed to think about 4devas forever? god i hope not. am i okay with it beating farewell shins in the polls. god i fucking hope it does. in the horrible timeline where i have to see 305 make it all the way and then lose i guess id rather it be to this one than to hijigin. consider this poll propaganda?

[akascow]

tua4 spoilers as i rant about it like everyone else bc wtf was that

its like the writers got knocked in the head and forgor everything that had to do with the comics and former seasons and instead of trying to relearn it all they just looked at a picture of the characters and a vague description of their powers and wrote a script around it held together by a used bandage and a dried out elmers glue stick

dude i havent even finished watching it yet but no fucking way they all die at the end (if i read that correctly)

ur telling me after fighting to save the world on 3 separate occasions they dont even get a happy ending ?? what

not even mentioning the whole victim blaming line of "your trauma is your own fault because you shouldve never existed in the first place" aYO?????? wHAT ?!? that makes me so mad like highkey what

i havent gotten to it yet but i know theres a whole thing with lila and five now too which fucking sucks because ew? huh

they literally ruined everyones relationship because why did ray walk out on allison and claire?? the fuck ? ray from s2 would punch side mention s4 ray in the dick

jennifer was a stupid plot point okay why the fuck was she in a squid howd she get there whered it come from and why does she have such a visceral reaction to it years later

as an AVID no1 klaus lover they really nerfed the best character in the show he literally only got shot so allison could get peer pressured into resuscitating a dnr patient basically bc they couldnt find another way to write in how he got his powers back,, and they completely threw away the part from last season that he can choose to stay in purgatory(?) if he wanted to so thats that i guess :/

also lila w laser eyes? lmao girl where did that come from (NOT how her powers work)

and last thing everyones already saying this i was so happy luther finally got his normal human body back (i cannot stand looking at that ape body ive hated it since s1 lmao) and he gets his SUPER STRENGTH back and suddenly hes hairy again ?? WHYYYY??? THATS NOT HOW HIS POWERS WORK

i will admit tho that one scene with diego flipping into gunfire and redirecting the bullets back at them was sick as fuck i smiled hard at that

anyway i wasnt expecting viktor to be my fave character this season but elliot page was like so good this season (also his voice is so yummy) i mean he was great in every other season but he stuck out to me the most this time lol. i like that he has more teasing and jokes and hes a lot more confident,, not that it matters now but whatever it was nice while it lasted

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Staring the year off right (for you, I still got two hours!!) with angst!!

Do you think when Cellbit was killing those Fed workers, he was waiting for Bad to pull him back using the back of his shirt, just like how he used to? Because he's being stupid (he's always been smart, just with impulsive tendencies)? Or maybe because it's a fight he can't win (he's always had a love/hate relationship with those)? Or maybe because he wasn't even using the right technique like Bad taught him (it was a rush job)?

Do you think on some level Cellbit expected (wanted.) praise from Bad for the murders? After all, Bad is the first adult figure that he remembers. "Do you like it?" That's not Cellbit's voice, the voice of a workaholic investigator with a husband and family. No, that's the voice of the young teen who was just learning what blood tastes like and can't remember his own name.

-miscellaneousplusmore.

I AGREE I AGREE I AGREE AAAAUUGHHHH

so ok. i have so many thoughts on the war ok

Baby Bit was a cannibal in that war, a little hungry kitten that would kill, consume, flee, repeat. A child soldier with no memory, just a knife and teeth, and claws that rip and tore flesh and muscle. Under bad's care i cant help but imagine how bad would coach his technique;

"You have a knife - use it" "Why only use your teeth for eating? Go for the juggular! thats where the swift kill is!" "You see this spot here? Cut there, itll cause less mess"

He could help him drag his kills away to get more meat off them rather than bit just grabbing whatever he can with his teeth and leaving the rest of the body there to rot and bake in the sun.

And thats the thing wasnt it - with the federation workers?? They were tore up improperly, killed indiscriminately, swiftly, not savored. It's like he was 13 again, killing, ripping, and running away, leaving all that good meat to rot in the sun.

That was cellbit's first memory, an impulsive murder in the war - a knife and a body and blood on his mouth with nothing but an empty stomach and wild instincts, and that was probably what cellbit felt like again when he came too! Thats probably what bad saw again when he first saw the body! Bad already knew who it was, those teeth marks of his familiar juvenile had to have still been the same despite the added size that comes with age.

I think cellbit wanted bad to praise him, but theres no way in hell he woulda expected it. When youre 13 and its your first time in the goddamn trenches, a veteran doesnt expect you to do well or clean. But now hes 25, he doesnt have that same excuse, but he does have the naive mind of someone who has nobody and nothing else, all he could ever want in that moment (aside from his husband and son) was for someone familiar to comfort him and tell him he did good.

Unfortunately for him, bad already was familiar with cellbit, already knew he knew better, already expected good work of him. Not only had his technique reverted, but his morals were much different than bad had taught him. Its a war that you're being forced to win, with no shelter or food or water - you have to fight to survive, fight to win, fight to eat. and he was just a kid, what else could bad have expected of him? He wasnt going to just let him starve!

The war wasnt over for cellbit, but unfortunately the war was over for everyone else. Cellbit wasnt a nameless child solider anymore, with no clothes on his back or food on the table, or family to care for him - Cellbit's a man, with a support system, a sister and a husband and a son and people who care about him, food ready and bed warm and clothes not sewn together with thin twigs.

I dont think he couldve stood there and expected bad to be proud of him for reckless, messy, wasteful murders, but god do i think he wanted it.

[docilepillow]

March Media Diary Thing 2024

This one's a weirdo! I'm typing this first paragraph after the fact, because it's the 30th instead of the exact end of the month like i wanted to post it . This post's a two-phaser, just because the way i typed this one out was in a " Live thoughts as fresh as i got them on the day i did stuff " kind of format. I didn't realize that there'd be so many more embeds then in febuary and january, but i guess it's just that kind of thing where you end up doing alot or doing the same but having more to say on it because its Now and not Before? I guess? I dunno. Everything below this space was gonna be from the start of the month , approaching towards the end. Okay, see you at the end of the second media diary post, now ! I'm gonna mix up this one and like unlike the last two i'm gonna try and write to this as i finish stuff instead of leaving it all until the end of the month, i think. im wondering if it'll make my thoughts more consise or not, but honestly, i have no idea! the main thing i think that gets lost out from this is the fact that i'll probably have less personal anecdotes about the month itself. Ohhhh.... MIGHTY SWITCH FORCE! < Silliest 3DS Home Screen Jingle >

i'm not giving this one a docism as a title just because it's kind of embarrasing to make too much more focal then it is, but the game's visual design and the way it flaunts itself does kind of make it a little distracting, but, i guess, more then anything else i've played from wayforward. um

i dont think its nessisarily a bad game or anything its perfectly alright. its like a little short for the price it retailed at on 3ds at least but its like. mediocre good i think . its not like bad or anything. its mostly just a game that sells itself with cute girls. which is fine i guess. like the game design Holds but the games focus is kinda scattershot, but whatever. it doesnt overstay its welcome or anything. the design's sound its just kind of okay all around NO MORE HEROES 2 - DESPERATE STRUGGLE < voice clip game of all time >

unintentional misogyny theming in this media diary oh no

coincidentally as i was playing i learned that the day i chose to start this game came out 3 years after the first game, which, coincidentally , lines up with the game's actual in-universe timeline iif my opinions on this game lines up itll be like, (9) years until i play the next one thats for sure

ok so my story with this series is that i played the first game accidentally completely handicapping my own experience with it because i didnt know you could upgrade your stuff in it and thus made everyone in the ggame into a big dumb hp sponge that wasnt enjoyable to figght and despite my best efforts to try and like this game more ( And, i will say, despite the very prevalent appeals to the male gaze, it CAN be charming ! ) i also took entirely way too long to learn about switching weapons worked functionally, just because despite SEEING the tutorial prompt for weapon switching, i didnt put it together because it takes a bit longer to activate then you'd expect, and thus, never used it. Oops! but yea this game mostly just stands on its own crass nature and in that respect its both very self aware and self indulgent. if you like that kind of vibe youll enjoy the game and its style or be mostly indifferent/uncomfortable with it . Shrug! shinobu is pretty cool. u get to play her after the events of the first game and its neat.

one thing i like about this games like direction is that its very well established that nobody in this game is a good person like even remotely and in that aspect it does get to explore cool stuff i can appreciate. i like that much. i tthink my favorite boss conceptually is the big robot you fight at one point in the battle royale segment. but id mostly consider this game as kind of a gimmick. i can see elements in there that'd make it a classic to a certain brained kind of person, but it doesnt appeal to me. i did wanna try and i did get at least to the very end until the final boss, at least. people say thats one of the worst final bosses in video games period and i gotta say they didnt lie shit doesnt really work

i got endeared by this sign , so i took a screenshot of it . i also like the crickets in the bug minigame.

pretty good though the games just kind of middle of the road for me overall. i didnt hate it enough to not completely finish it and as of typing this and as is its only 3/9 , so i might still truck through the final battle of this game, but, i wont really guarentee or force myself after 3 hours straight of it ----- ok nevermind literally the next day first thing when i woke up i first tried the guy lol games charming its just very peculiar

get fucked idiot SUPER MARIO BROS DELUXE

I technically started this last month but this is the month where i actually sat down and finished it just because MAR 10 ran around so like. might as well fish out some random mario sidescroller to play next also. its short and ive heard some ssay its like definitive mario 1 but the way mario's speed + the screen crunch make it kinda sloppy in a way. limitations of a gameboy color i know but i guess as a standalone way of playing mario 1 its not like. the worst in the world . ive never actually finished mario 1 before on my own so this is a new experience for me !

if you think the 3ds being retro in the modern day is extra fucked up, consider the fact that this version of mario 1 came out 14 years after the original....!!!! if you think the ds being retro in the modern day is extra fucked up, consider the fact that this version of mario 1 came out 14 years after the original....!!!!

Dōbutsu no Mori ( The Animal Crossing Anime Movie ) < Ough-est main character >

Watched this one again for the second time in a discord movie night! A very sweet and nice little movie with very very very cute characterrs. i see the able sisters on the screen and i clap

whats wrong with her

shes like a frog anyway the movies cute and theres aliens at the end. id describe it as a very loving adaptation of an animal crossing player's imagined version of events going on in an animal crossing gamecube-era town. though the biggest thing of all that endears me is AI i think theyre so silly looking

Pictured : Another Silly Subject KERO BLASTER

another game ive played many times before, but, considering my recent cave story fix, i felt drawn to playing it again. i still think its a cute and extremely solid sidescroller game..aaaa ithink everyone should give it a try if thats ur kind of game. also theres lots of very good video game enemies in this

very simple but effective art direction theres like a very nice feeling of atmosphere to it ( cool game ) idk what else to say ive playedd this game like five times before and this is a media diary for documenting new feelings and thoughts and not for like full on game reviews, i think. < Mid-Month Side Note >

i still havent completed this game's story mode to this day, but, recently, cus' the efforts of the team 0% team ( group of crazy freaks with the sole goal of making sure every mario maker 1 / 2 level gets cleared ) ive been driven to try and finish my super world recently. i might feel like showing off the levels ive made at the end of the week,as well, but it's honestly really satisfying, even if i know that the userbase for this game's comparitively shrunk since launch. idk! its fun to make mario levels. i think its satisfying and ill do it even if nobody plays them. also apparently i forgot to turn off my nso subscription so thats why im extra driven to upload lots of levels while i have it. I still hate how NSO is a paid service attached to online. it just kind of paywalls large swaths of games that don't need it and it's just dumb, evil, corporate greed. Ugh! That's the price of gaming in the modern era, i guess....

PETAL CRASH < Thank you, Bison...! >

game i've only played very recently, and arguably, doesnt fall under regular completion criteria, as it's mostly meant to be played on a whim in short bursts ( it does have a short story mode, though, plus a bunch of challenges i haven't played yet..! ) ( I might not be smart enough, for those... ) , but that doesnt really matter! This game is absurdly , amazingly, adorably adorable! !! !

Look at these things!

Ouuu!

Fairy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aside from having an adorable fairy character that appeals to every aestetic i love, its also a decently digestable GBC styled puzzle game ! thats really fun!! and ive been playing it on steam deck, where, i think, it really shines!! the character design in it is really good!

i've yet to master it , as it's pretty fast paced, but its essentially a match game that bumps stuff togetheer good with cute characters like puyo. i havent interacted with that series before but i have played kirbys avalanche and star stacker and this is pretty fun like those. if you like those games you'll like this.

Thanks to my BF for buying this game for me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Record of Lodoss War: Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth < most symphony of the night award >

the docism is kind of demeaning but this game is really solid i finished it just now in 6 hours ( 3/21 ) ( Wait, those numbers add up to 6! wow! ) i think this games strongest suit is how drop dead gorgeous the sprite art is . like . holy shit there are giant gorgeously animated ps1 quality era crisp pixel perfect sprites just everywhere

the picture quality google images gave me doesnt do it justice but there are just like these fantastically rendered fantasy sprites wherever you wanna look for it and it just reminds me how awesome the ladybug developer team is. i think in terms of indie studios ive gotten attached to this is definitely like a dev i eagerly cant wait to see what they do next in the metroidvania sphere. like. considering the source material the actual designs dont stray too far from like what " conventional " fantasy looks like,( A little basic ) , they still kept my attention just from the number of moving parts and shit. and like. mechanically this game is actually pretty neat. they make you juggle a whole lot of projectiles on screen, but it becomes pretty managable when you learn how the two-prong element system works to be pretty engaging ( It reminds me alot of cave story's weapon system, actually! ) ( really cool! ) https://clan.cloudflare.steamstatic.com/images//36872249/d5f18e9ecfb93d0547f6ccf894cd2e0bab2d12c1.gif WHAT???? tumblr posts have a 20 image limit! What! i didnt know about this! i think websites should let u post as many cool images as you want. i should make a neocities for these at some point if i keep doing them...... regardless i think this game is awesome even if the story is kind of like throwaway ( saying this as someone who hasnt engaged with the source material yet, which there apparently is, so maybe thats not a fair thought. on the games steam community page though i saw a gif of the main character in an anime adaption wiggle her ears around with a silly face, so maybe it'd appeal to me if i look into it? Huh. ----- PART TWO WILL BE POSTED SOME TIME IMMEDIATELY AFTER THIS FROM THE EMBEDDING ISSUE -------------------

[e17omm]

Interesting. Welp, lots of thoughts about HSR 2.2 below.

Lots of thoughts so Ill start with a checklist.

Firefly: good so far. It doesnt seem like she hates her life being trapped in the SAM suit, and thats good. I was worried they were going to make her despise having to be Sam. Seems that she can survive for a while without the suit, which I find fine.

Now as long as they make her fight AS Sam and they wont really have screwed up anything with her. Not everyone needs to have superpowers. Let Firefly's powers come through Sam. She'll be a really unique character that way. Seriously, who else fights using a mechanical body armor like an anime Iron Man in a Hoyoverse game? I'd have no issues with Firefly then.

Well, except one thing, but I'll get to that later.

Now, the fucking plot twist? Holy shit. This really went from "that was kinda anticlimactic. We really went from "we do the cool thing" to "someone else does the cool thing" to "we pass out before we see the cool thing" like, really? Everythings solved and we're already ready to leave? We get on the train, have a chat with everyone, vote on where to go. And (presses hands together in front of my mouth) holy fucking shit.

My one issue is that I wish they actually ended the 2.2 story after the plot twist reveal. Of all the "cliffhangers" and "plot twists" they have tried to do, THIS WAS THE SPOT TO DO IT. THIS WAS IT. This was HUGE. Its in the third Penacony mission, so it would have avoided that thing with "oh yeah you totally wiped out the Herrscher of Dominance halfway through the second chapter" thing. Like, this is the end. We're done. We won and are leaving. In the 3rd story mission. This was THE moment to reveal the plot twist, just barely start it to not leave everyone confused, and then end it and save it for a 4th story mission in 2.3

But it was way too short. It was way too easy to just, get all the crucial pieces and solve the puzzle. We started Act 3 of the story and it only lasted like 20 minutes. It really could have done with SOME difficulty in getting all the important pieces to solve everything.

But we just learn about the plot twist, everyone important groups up, and we fight the final boss. Just like that.

Next on the list, Acheron! Or should I say, Raiden Mei? When that shadow asked for her name, I was PRAYING that Hoyo knew what they were doing, and they did! They didnt skimp out on it! Didnt go the whole "I have lost my memory of it" which would have been such a cop-out. But nope! They did it!

And the Honkai music? Fuck I had chills. And this is pure nostalgia of the best parts of HI3. Those parts were so good that you remember the music and the feelings you had with those notes.

I cant remember much of the music at the later stages of HI3. The story just hasnt grabbed me like chapters 5 to 25 did. (Hoyo should take notes of their own work, ngl)

Now... onto "Death"

"Death" might be the WORST character design I have ever seen. Not from the looks, but from their role in the story and how Hoyo uses it.

A shady character shows up, pulls out a gun, and shoots another character in the head. And later you tell me that that wasnt actually a murder? Bullshit. Get that garbage out of here.

And you know the worst part? ONE SCENE is what ruined "Death" for me.

Firefly's "Death" scene. Delete it. It ruins so much. She is the only one we see "Death" "killing". Why. She's not dead. Why did you show that "Death" "kills" like that? Who sat down and wrote that part? Literally just make us not see this scene and heavily imply that it killed her like they implied that "Death" killed everyone else and this would've been fine!

I can buy that Robin and Sunday are alive because we see neither of them dying. Robin is off-screen and Sunday is hidden from the camera.

But we saw a death when it killed Firefly.

Next time someone is shot in the head on screen I will be expecting it to be an imposter, a stunt actor, an illision, or WHATEVER ELSE. BECAUSE EVEN WHEN THEY SHOW DEATH THEY CHICKEN OUT. AND ALL THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED IF FIREFLY'S TRACES DISAPPEARED RIGHT BEFORE WE COULD SEE HER. WE COULD EVEN SEE "DEATH" SNEAKING AWAY AS WE ENTER THE ROOM. BUT DONT SHOW THE DEED BEING DONE.

...

Onto the final boss. ... Its... I mean, the boss fight is neat. Um, not sure if Hoyo now thinks that "big thing is intimidating" but this boss was just kinda, eh.

We've already defeated two big things with Cocolia's (now our) mecha, and then Phantylia. And now this sympthony thing.

Uh, Hoyo does know that big doesnt immediately equal "intimidating" or "scary" or "impressive", right? I just wanna be sure. Because this boss is none of that.

Uh the music also get a bit too pop-star-y? Its not bad, I just feel like it goes against the tone of what the story wanted this moment to feel like.

I also wish that Acheron actually did something to help in the end. She kinda just "eh well you can fight now. Me? Byeeeee~" I know that she had a glory moment in 2.1, but like, come on. Sunday just gives up fighting because we told him that people dream in order to wake up. Which doesnt sound philosophical enough to me to make Sunday have a freaking reality check and fall from the platform in shock and defeat.

Hoyo has really been trying to make so much of their stories in the Honkaiverse have a higher meaning and be a matter on philosophy, and then they keep asking why birds fly and I am so fucking tired of it.

Like, this is all they got and its not even a joke.

So, yeah. I kinda really wanted IX to show up and just, consume Penacony. That would've been cool and been decently foreshadowed. Could have had everyone go numb or like, whatever happens to us when we get close to IX in the Simulated Universe, and then have most people try to scramble to the ships to gtfo, and then have IX appear and consume the place.

But as long as we head to the Edo Star next, I'll be happy.

A place under attack by the Antimatter Legion and their distress signal recently went out? Send me there. Right now. Not even a question. I want to see the Antimatter Legion actually live up to what everyone has said about them. Dont fucking bait me on this Hoyo.

Oh yeah, another thing before I finish this!

Where are our ability to hear Stellarons? Did Hoyo forget that we can hear the voice of Stellarons? That is like, one of the most interesting parts about the Trailblazer!

Imagine a world where we get to Penacony in 2.0, and everything's fine and the same as it was. Except... we can hear the voice of a Stellaron. But, there's no signs of it. There's no Fragmentums. There's no sign of it at all. But we keep hearing its voice.

It could have slowly told us the story of Penacony over the course of these three patches so that we didn't have to get a history lesson before the climax of the story.

It would have easily added some mystery and questions while basically requiring no changes to the current story. Is there a Stellaron on Penacony, or are WE the only Stellaron on Penacony?

Speaking of the Stellaron inside of us... It has barely mattered after Belobog...

Hoyo... This should be a big deal throughout the story. Herta is shocked that a human body can host a Stellaron. We can hear the voices of other Stellarons. We could go nuclear if it goes out of control. Why has it not really mattered after Belobog? Hoyo, this isnt something you should just wave off like you have been doing with the Traveler's ability to wield 5 of the 7 elements. Dont make the same mistake twice.

This is dragging out, but I just keep remembering more things!

Hoyo, please dont tell me that you are unable to make long-term stories anymore. Everything has been self-contained recently. And sure, you've TRIED to make it feel like it has a larger impact, but in the end it always hasnt.

HI3 Part 1.5? It MIGHT be important later. I dunno if Vita has any importance at all to part 2 so far. All the regions in GI are basically self contained. You could take Mondstadt Traveler and toss them straight into Fontaine and you would basically not have to change them at all. All of HSR has also been rather self-contained. Happy that Dan didnt actually call the Luofu, that would have just made this all seem even more miniscule and also extremely convenient.

But... Remember when Himeko fucking died and the next 16 chapters was the fallout of that? Remember when we could have big story moments that still mattered for more than 3 months of real time?

Penacony's story is over, and I dont think that anything that happened here will have any impact on the next destination. Did we even actually pick up any new crewmembers?! Please tell me that the cowboy and Black Swan actually joins us for a while. You Chekhov's Gun'd it all the way back in Belobog!

So in short. I liked Penacony act 2 and 3 a lot. Not close to anything in HI3 chapters 5 to 25, but it was good. Could have been a lot better with (imo) rather small changes.

Also wtf is up with Hoyo's budget allocations? They put so much budget into the filler generic battle part of act 3. That was so much effort put into just filler. What's up with that?

[hangezoeenthusiast]

well hello anyone who is actually on tumblr and hasnt forgotten about me. ive been offline for a year or so, had personal issues in my life, and also started high school so i wanted to focus on that. life update:

- im in 10th grade now :)) high school isnt that bad and there actually isnt as much fights as there was in past years. also im in a lot of advanced classes now

- i got new friends, and dumped my old ones(they were toxic)

- got into some new fandoms(call of duty, genshin[sorta i barely tolerate some people, I just try to play the game without interacting with the fandom], tmnt[i’ve always loved it], and others that I can't rlly think about rn

- got my working permit today :D after new years I'm gonna look for a job

- well I figured out I'm trans now (f-t-m), after years of question my gender and making excuses, I'm also pansexual :)

- the name I want my legal name to be is kaisen(kai is just a nickname and I dont use j anymore)

- body image stuff, sucks to suck but I'm trying everyday, slowly

- i actually have a girlfriend, we have been together for 3 months, and known each other for around 1 or 2 years. We are long distance(she lives in another country), time zones suck, but we make it work. We also met on genshin, so i guess i owe the game for that.

- im teaching myself how to draw, and also have been reading a lot of books lately

- family life isnt the best, im not gonna elaborate, but i just try to ignore it

it seems like a dream with how i acted a year ago. i seemed way more immature than what i do act now. i was so innocent i guess you could say, and i guess you could also say that i was just figuring myself out. and as im sitting in my bed, listening to The Neighborhood, im reminiscing. i do miss the friends that i had before i dropped them, and i really wish that i didnt push everyone away whenever i was in a depressive episode, but its the past. if i cant get over the past i’ll never be able to move on into the future. im just so glad that past me could get that experience of exploring themselves and meeting new people. also i was very very cringey i realize now, i feel like i was acting a sort of way to get recognition from people.

well anyways i dont think i’ll be writing anything anytime soon, i dont feel the passion i used to back then. maybe someday, but not today, and not the next. also thank you for 300 followers, that might not seem alot compared to other people, but it is for me. also thank you for all the support with the dsmp stuff even tho i stopped writing about them. i rlly didnt expect my stuff to blow up like that :))

well signing off:

kaisen(kai), have a fantastic day/night 😊

(ps: ive never deleted tumblr, and i was reading fanfics on here, i just was being lazy and didnt feel like responding to messages and updating my profile 😉 so to all the people who commented on my posts, i wasnt ignoring u, im too tired and my brain cells are the equivalent of 1 at the moment, but i’ll try to respond)

[midnightmisadventures]

Guys i had ANOTHER australia dream

This was so crazy and soooo long

it lasted the whole night and the entirety of the dream was basically in the airport

Um.....basically our trip was planned, booked and busy. And me and the most random group, like it wasnt just friends it was high school people, it wasnt just hs people it was some family, wasnt just family it was some randos. Like the most smorgege board of squad and everyone else 

And we were staying somewhere in philly, or somewhere, that was close to the airport so we could wake up and catch our flight. But then the morning of we were at the hotel and realized omg we were kinda late, so the hotel was like 25 mins from the airport and everyone wanted ample time to be there bc.....the flight was to australia like its a big deal. 

So then something goes terribly wrong with me and i have to go all the way home to get something crucial, like my ticket, my passport my luggage. And im sobbing in chip at home like “i screwed it all up, i cant even go, is it even worth trying?? like would i even make it” and we looked at the time and they were supposed to board the plane at like 5:30 and idk we were over an hour away and in very hot water. 

And my dad was like ehhh your in trouble but you might make it, GO FAST GO NOW. 

Which is interesting because, in the last dream i was looking at the cost and it was thousands of thousands of dollars and verbatim i asked my parents “is this even worth trying to make this possible, like theres no way right? right?” expecting them to immediately say “yea theres no way” but they keep surprising me and saying basically “dont worry about that of course its possible” 

Which must just be spirit telling me to stop thinking things are impossible and limiting my mindset on what can happen and what i can do. 

Anyway, AuntyAbby was rushing me to the airport and i think now i was with another group who was trying to make it on time. And the whole dream is like us rushing around meeting different airport workers and befriending them saying “please please is there anyway you can help us make it to our flight on time” the airport was huge. So one person would help us take a secret underground shuttle, and one person would help us go super fast through a security checkpoint. Also plenty of elevators. They were usually to far away cause the building had too many floors and we always had to take the stairs. And it was that but for several hours. Like im not kidding, and we were begging people at each step to call the terminal and make sure they havent done the final boarding call. And everyone kept assuring us “you should make it”

But we were running. And on the way, in true dream fashion i kept having to leave little things behind that i wanted to bring but were too much of a hassell to carry around. Like stray things, and i kept fighting for my life to keep everything together but little momentos and sentimental things i kept having to leave behind. 

In fact, the dream illustrated this lesson all the way through the end, because at the end of the dream when we finally are being let on the plane. We were in this waiting area for a while while the plane located seats for us because it was a packed flight to australia waiting to finally get going because of us. 

I had my backpack, which my sooooo heavy and full and hurting my back to carry. My polkadot over night bag. A jacket, a purse, and my main suitcase big luggage. So you can imagine. Running around for hours trying to catch my flight, was exhausting carrying around all that baggage (in fact it was making me later *wink wink*) 

So finally when we were waiting for the door to open to the plane i was first in line ready to go, SO SO SO  happy to be finally securely on my flight to australia, after being so stressed out for hours. I could be excited about my mystery trip lol and relax and realize that everything worked out. I could almost taste the feeling of finally sitting in my plane seat. So much so that when they opened the door i rushed in. And the attendant told us there should be individual seats open in section C. I was walking in with erikka and i wanted a good seat, out of what was available. I found one in the row next to erikkas and it was an aisle seat. I was so excited cause it was a long flight and i didnt want to be squished by strangers. 

So i run in secure my seat and realize “oh shit i have my backpack, my polkadot, and my jacket but not my LUGGAGE” so i save my seat and walk back to the door because i know i mustve left it right at the entrance. But the plane was so ready to take off that they had already locked the exits and started moving. And my stomach dropped like, i was thinking i CANNOT go to australia without my stuff what the fuck no no no  no. And i told the flight attendants “please i know you have already been so patient with us and made many accommodations but i left my bag RIGHT there can you please open the door” and theyre like yikes like we started moving. There were two flight attendants helping me. The woman was convinced they could get the pilot to stop and turn around we had only gone three feet. And the man kept saying the pilot has been trying to start this trip for forever he already waited he wont turn around.

And i was SIIICCKKKKKKK 

But i get it.....leave the bags, catch the elevator. 

I’m just so confused as to why Australia

[bldofthedrgn]

[eleven] in every cosmos | han jisung smau

11 - grafias

words : 1.7k

prev | au masterlist | next

a/n : omg a double upload from user babysungs :o my brain was going crazy about writing this part and i coukdnt help myself!! bit of a longer written chapter but i think its worth it :) i didnt edit it too much so i hope there arent many mistakes!! enjoy :)

Opening the door to the restaurant you were expecting many more people than there were, only seeing two people, but you supposed that it was for the better. Big crowds werent really your thing anyway.

hey binnie!! im here waiting for you :)

No response.

I guess its to be expected, you were here about thirty minutes earlier than you were supposed to be. He was probably just leaving his apartment. Still, you couldnt help but be weary at the fact that he hadnt bothered to read your message.

Thirty minutes. Thirty minutes had gone by without a single message from changbin. Surely he should be here soon, unless he wasnt planning on coming at all. You were confused and a tiny bit hurt, failing miserably at not jumping to conclusions way too early. Were you being stood up? Could you even be stood up if this wasnt a date? Had he found out about your affection towards him and now wants to make a joke out of you? What exactly was going o-

Ding.

The door had opened. You looked up in anticipation, praying desperately to see Changbin walk through the clear glass door that you had been watching like a hawk for the longest thirty minutes of your life.

… Jisung? you thought to yourself

Great, first you get stood up then the one person who manages to make you feel like shit at every encounter shows up. Just fucking great.

“What are you doing here?” Jisung questions, putting an emphasis on the “you” as if you werent allowed to eat in public. “Waiting for your little boyfriend I assume.”

“What? What boyfriend?” You had never been more confused in your life. Since when did you have a boyfriend?

“Yeah. Your boyfriend. Changbin?”

You couldn’t help but become a bit flushed at the thought of Changbin bein considered your boyfriend, though it like would never happen.

“Jisung what the fuck are you talking about right now? Changbin is not my boyfriend” you shoot back starting to get annoyed.

“Oh dont act like you two arent together. I should have known since the first day I saw you guys on a date at that stupid cafe.” Jisung was also starting to get annoyed. How could you and Changbin keep denying your relationship when he had seen it for himself?

“Dude we had JUST met that day. We didnt even know each other”

“Yeah I call bullshit but sure.”

“Okay you know fucking what Jisung-“ you started, completely ready to rip the taller brunette to shreds at this point though you were interrupted.

“Alright calm down lets not overreact please.” That voice was all too familiar.

“Changbin??? What the fuck are you doing here I thought you were standing me up!” you were completely enraged at this point. Not only had Jisung riled you up but now Changbin was standing here acting as if he hadnt kept you waiting for what felt like hours?

“Y/n, I didnt stand you up I promise,” Changbin starts, “please just let me and seungmin explain before you chop my head off.”

“Seungmin what the fuck dude??” Jisung was equally as stunned and not-so-equally as enraged as you were.

“Ji just shut up and listen to Changbin please.”

Everyone got quiet allowing Changbin the floor to explain what kind of weird misunderstanding they were in now.

“You and Y/n have some weird beef with each other that you need to talk about. I think you both have some misconceptions about each other and you need to work them out now because constantly being in the middle of this is so tiring. I hate fighting with either of you to defend the other when both of you are my closest friends.”

Friends. Right. The word stings in your chest as you had almost forgotten what you were to Changbin. His friend, nothing more nothing less.

“Oh whatever you cant force me to talk to them.” Jisung spits, pulling you out of your own head.

“Trust me I dont want to be here more than you do.”

“See. That right there. It needs to stop” Changbin continues visibly aggravated, “youre both staying here until you can work out whatever weird fucking tension there is between you.”

Changbin and Seungmin walk towards the door leaving you and a very confused and peeved Jisung standing closer than you realize at first.

“We’re locking you in. Please try talk it out and try to get along” Changbin says as hes locking the door.

“Where did you even get the key???”

“I rented the place out for a day. Good luck!” He throws two thumbs up and walks away with Seungmin.

Great.

“Dickheads” Jisung mutters under his breath, “why do I have to be stuck here with you.”

Now you were seriously getting upset. It wasnt even anger, just pure sadness at the fact that one of your biggest idols, the man you looked up to and loved most out of any musician to walk the earth, hated you so much he regarded you amongst the trash of the earth. He held such disdain for you and you had no idea why.

“Jisung. Why do you hate me so much? What have I done?” you ask desperately trying not to let the tears slip

“Are you serious?” he scoffs, until he looks at you and sees the deadly serious expression on your exhausted face. “.. Fine. I hate you because not only did you completely ignore my existence when Changbin first brought you to the studio, you also stole him from us. He stopped hanging out with us to hang out with you all the time until I called him out for it. I get youre his partner but fucks sake he needs to make time for his best friends and music partners too.”

Jisung watched as your face went from serious to utterly confused when he started explaining. It mad him even more mad at you, how could you be such a terror in his life and act like you dont know anything about it?

“I think Changbin was right when he said there were big misunderstandings between us.” Jisung scoffed loudly at your start, not believing you for a second. “Jisung let me finish before you blow everything im about to say off. Please.”

You saw Jisungs expression change as he settled himself into the booth you were both sitting at. “Alright fine. Go ahead.”

“Thank you. For starters, I didnt ignore you. I said hi to you and tried to talk to you several times but you either just didnt answer or couldnt hear me. But I tried really hard to make conversation and get to know you, I would never in a million years pass up the chance to befriend my favorite musician in the world”

Jisung did not expect those words to come out of your mouth in a million years. He could feel his heartbeat pick up a bit, choosing to ignore it as if it werent happening. “And Im not dating Changbin. At all. We’re honestly just good friends and even if i were dating him, strong if, I would never take up all of his time especially when I know how important your friendship is and how busy you guys get. That is not the type of person I am at all and maybe you could never come to like me or be friends with me but please dont think of me so harshly. I really didnt mean to make you feel that way about me. Im sorry.”

He was dumbfounded. Truly blown away at the fact that he was so quick to judge you and hate you for something that was completely his fault, and that you were the one who felt bad and even apologized. Jisung realized what an asshole he had been to someone who did not deserve it in the slightest.

“Y/n I-“ you quickly cut him off, not prepared to be berated by him again.

“Please dont say anything I understand you dont like me but I cant take-“

“Let me finish.” Jisung had gently rested his hand on your forearm, which had been laying on the table. His hands were so soft and he was holding your arm so tenderly- wait. Why is your heart racing so fast? He noticed your flushed face and eyes that kept glancing at his hand on you and he couldnt help but smile to himself a bit.

You nodded your head, signaling to Jisung that he could continue.

“I was going to say Im sorry. I had no idea that I was the problem this whole time and treated you so badly for nothing. Truthfully I felt bad about being mean to you because I thought you actually could be nice but I was stubborn and felt like you deserved my hate. I am so sorry.”

“Oh … its okay. Thank you for apologizing.” Your voice had gone quiet, not expecting Jisung to be so warm and kind to you. You tried relentlessly to ignore the roaring butterflies in your stomach.

“Of course. So ..” the man started, smiling to himself a bit, “your favorite musician in the whole world huh?”

Shit. You didnt even realize you said that. You could feel his confidence dripping from that stupid smirk on his face.

“Pffft whaaaat who said that that wasnt me I dont even know you who are you again?”

“Yeah okay whatever at least I have something to brag to Changbin about when we leave here.” he laughs, “Friends?“

Jisung mentally curses himself for sticking his hand out when he feels the warmth from yours meet him in the middle, the motion only making his heart beat faster. He prayed desperately hoping you couldnt hear it thumping out of his chest.

“Friends.”

You both shake on it with smiles, both trying to ignore that fluttering feeling in your chests growing bigger the longer you held hands.

Though neither of you would never admit this, you both were overthinking the rest of your time together waiting for Changbin and Seungmin to get back with the keys. You kept on with your conversation, talking about any and everything to keep yourselves from dying of boredom and hunger, but neither of you knew that the other was having the same thoughts deep in the back of their minds.

Why does my heart keep racing when im next to you?

taglist | @gyuville @kikivonpoopyhead @sohyeappy @enaluvs @mits-vi @spikertrash @dynarvot

bold means i cant tag!! sorry :(

[samadiw]

Knickers - Part 03 - Yellow Knickers 💛

.

Yellow?

Fucking yellow?

She didnt have yellow knickers, she didnt have yellow anything and it wasnt like she could stroll into Hogsmeade and buy a pair.

Hermione pulls out her drawer of knickers, for a girl who didnt get it on much, she had a drawer full of colourful undies, one must always feel good in what covers your twat.

She gingerly picks up a scanty almost see through black pair of knickers, well, they would have to do.

Placing the pair on the bed, she reaches for her wand and waves it over the undergarment, the colour instantly changes from black to dark yellow.

Hermione grins, it looks better than she expected.

H : "Not bad..."

She flops down on the bed and thinks of Malfoy's cock for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

The fucker had no shame in just whipping it out in front of her, his crass boldness turned her on, he didn't care to tip toe around her as if she would shatter into a million pieces.

Her toes curl with wanting, he would widen her nicely, she had always been told she was tight.

Damn that bloody Malfoy cock.

*******

T : "The fuck man."

B : "Don't you get sick of losing?"

T : "You're cheating, I know it."

B : "Its wizards chess, you just suck."

T : "I have to meet Luna but once I'm back, I want a bloody rematch."

B : "Let's make it interesting, care to place a bet?"

T : "10 Galleons?"

B : "My house elf makes 10 times that, you bloody cheapskate."

T : "Later."

B : "Use protection, we don't want crummy chess players being added to the population."

T : "Fuck you, Zabini."

Draco walks in towelling his hair

B : "Ah, want to grab a butter beer?"

D : "Sure, mate."

Throws a bottle at Draco and he catches it expertly.

D : "So, whats the name of the new broad?"

B : "Patil..."

D : "Nice."

B : "Is Weasley still banging Granger?"

D : "Haven't a clue."

B : "She's looking rather fine this year."

Draco tightens his hold on the bottle and takes a long swig.

Blaise didnt know the half of it.

The next morning

T : "Fuck, are you ready to leave?"

D : "Yeah, I've got some, unm...work to do."

What he wanted to do was claim his seat in the Great Hall before someone else did.

B : "Well, I'm ready, I'll come with you, Theo, do hurry up bitch."

T : "Yeah, yeah, I'm hurrying."

They walk into the Great Hall and find it half full.

A bunch of 3rd years are sitting in Draco's usual place.

The blonde towers over the younger students and hisses darkly.

D : "Move, now!"

The adolescent boys trip over themselves in their haste to get up.

"Yes, Mr Malfoy, sir."

"Right away."

"So sorry."

Blaise and Draco slide into the seat.

B : "I think the tall one wet his pants."

D : "Respect, Blaise, must be taught when young."

B : "Theres a fine line between respect and bullying."

D : "Potato, potahto."

B : "Why the fuck do you keep looking at the entrance?"

D : "For Nott, ofcourse."

Blaise raises a brow and grins.

B : "Sure you are..."

Hermione links her arm through Ron's and he whispers a funny joke into her ear, she throws her head back in laughter.

From across the hall she can feel steely grey eyes watching her every movement.

She locks eyes with the ice blonde and bites her lip.

Settling down in her usual spot, Hermione looks at Draco through hooded eyes and challenges him.

Draco smirks, fucking showtime.

He's about to drop something when a voice cuts into his train of thought.

PS : "Mr Malfoy."

Fuck..

D : "Yes, Professor Slughorn?"

PS : "Come with me, boy, I need your rather unique potion making skills."

Come on, no, no...

D : "Now?"

Slughorn raises a brow.

PS : "Yes, now..."

Draco glances at Hermione desperately.

Did the old codger have to fuck up his morning?

Draco weakly protests

D : "But sir, I'm um..hungry."

Hungry for Grangers cunt.

PS : "Now! Before I start deducting points off Slytherin."

The bloody bastard.

Draco gets to his feet

D : "Fine."

Hermione looks on in disappointment, brings her legs together and watches Malfoy trail after Slughorn miserably.

The fuming Slytherin throws a look of annoyance her way before exiting the hall after the potions master.

Draco misses his first two lessons because of Slughorn's potions emergency, he is still at it when his year piles into the classroom.

He wipes his brow and looks up, Hermione grins and pats the seat next to her suggestively.

It wouldn't do to openly sit next to the Gryffindor without a bunch of questions being asked.

Draco coughs to distract everyone else and shakes his head, Hermione frowns, rolls her eyes and pulls out her books.

PS : "Good job, Mr Malfoy."

Draco replies in frustration.

D : "Yeah, no problem, Professor."

He gathers this things and sits next to Theo.

The class drones on and by the end of it Draco has dozed off more than once.

Theo nudges him and hisses.

T : "For fuck sake, get up."

The class ends and the exhausted students leave the dungeons and make their way to lunch before the next round of classes start.

Hermione studiously avoids Draco, she wouldn't go to him, let him come to her.

Refusing to sit with her, who the bloody hell did he think he was?

She steps into the abandoned girls bathroom to fix her hair and wash the tiredness off her face.

It takes but a second.

The door opens, closes with a bang and a heavy firm body presses up against her back.

Shocked at first, Hermione reaches for her wand but she looks up to see Draco grinning smugly at her.

She turns around and shoves him

H : "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

D : "Isn't it obvious?"

H : "This is the girls lavatory."

D : "I'm aware."

H : "Get away from me, you pervert."

D : "I haven't seen your knickers today, Granger."

H : "And you're not going to see them now."

D : "Oh, I beg to differ."

He places firm hands on her waist, lifts her and settles her on the counter.

Hermione lashes out

H : "Have you lost your damn mind?"

Draco winks.

D : "Possibly."

Hermione tries to hop down.

H : "I'm not playing this bloody game."

Draco holds her in place, his long fingers brush gently along her skin and edge upwards.

He pushes up the school skirt so it bunches around her waist and stares at the bright yellow undie hugging her pussy lips, outlining every dip and curve.

Draco swallows hard, up close she looks absolutely breathtaking.

H : "There, you saw them, are you satisfied?"

D : "Immensely, yellow might be my new favourite colour."

H : "Very funny, now let me go."

D : "Not so fast, pet."

He runs a long finger down her material covered slit.

Hermione gasps and a involuntary moan escapes her full lips.

She comes back to her senses and scolds.

H : "Stop it, anyone could walk in."

Draco rolls his eye, waves his wand and distinctive click echoes through the quiet bathroom.

He grins mischievously.

D : "Problem solved."

He continues to rub enticing circles around the flesh of her inner thighs.

D : "I wonder if you taste as good as you look."

H : "You wouldn't..."

D : "Oh, I would and you will love it."

He peels down her panties, leaving a trail of fire where his fingers touch her skin.

Draco puts Hermione smooth legs over his shoulders and bends to give her exposed cunt a quick lick.

Hermione gasps as he delves inside her with the tip of his tongue.

He gives her clit a quick flick and proceeds to eat her out generously.

Holy fuck, was Malfoy licking her cunt?

Oh, so good, so bloody good.

D : "You taste divine, let's see what makes you come."

Hermione's breathing elevates, she surrenders to the blonde licking her to glory.

The noises he makes as he moves his tongue echo in her head and fuel her pending release.

H : "Malfoy...."

D : "Wet, so fucking wet."

They have 4 minutes and 26 seconds before their next class.

Draco figures he needs 3 minutes tops to fuck her with his talented tongue and feel her orgasm on it.

D : "You taste fucking amazing."

He parts her pussy lips with his tongue again and begins to lap at her eager wetness.

Moving slowly, he uses the tip of his tongue to circle her ever receptive bud.

His tongue slips and he's rewarded with a loud moan.

Ah, so that's the spot.

Draco relentlessly tongues Hermione till she squirms.

He wants to look at her, keeping up his ministrations he braved a look at the witch whispering his name.

She was shuddering above him, her body wracked in pleasure.

Head thrown back, wild curls around her face, fuck...she looked stunning.

Her eyes closed, thighs spread wide and hands massaging her breasts and pinching her nipples.

This was a sight he could get used to.

H : "There, oh fuck...don't stop..."

H : "Oh...mm...I'm going to come."

Music to his ears, he takes her swollen bud between his lips and sucks hard.

D : "Let go, baby."

Hermione lets out a cry, grabs a fistful of Draco's hair and comes crashing down around him.

Only after she rode her high and stilled did he wipe her dripping juices off his chin and get to his feet.

H : "Well, that was..."

She hopes off the counter and attempts to stand on wobbly legs.

Draco licks his cum stained lips and grins.

D : "Something else."

H : Yes, something else.

Draco muses .

D: "And we havent even kissed yet."

Post orgasm bliss aside, Hermione asks.

H : "Why didn't you sit next to me? Do you still think me dirty?"

Dirty, was the woman mad? She fucking came in his mouth and he couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her mouth.

Draco pulls Hermione close and kisses her.

The kiss is no gentle exchange between lovers, its hard, fast and demanding

He pries her stubborn lips open with his tongue and slips it in to seek the inner sweetness, they grab onto each other fighting for dominance, until, she breaks free and surfaces for air.

Draco nibbles on the heated flesh of her neck and whispers.

D : "That's your cum you taste on my tongue, do you honestly believe your blood status means fuck all to me?"

He places a tender kiss to her lips

D : Actually, I wanted to spare you the embarrassment of mingling with an ex Death Eater.

Hermione shoves him playfully.

H : "Sod it, sit with me tomorrow."

D : "You dig your own grave, Granger."

A distinctive tent decorated Draco's trousers, he cups the bulge and adjusts his painfully hard erection.

H : "Oh, you're still hard, let me..."

D : "We don't have time."

Hermione's face falls in disappointment and Draco smirks.

D : "Don't worry about it, you can make up for it tomorrow."

Draco picks up the discarded yellow knickers and pockets them.

D : "I'm keeping these by the way."

H : "You cant be serious?"

D : "I rather enjoy the thought of you walking about the castle knickerless."

H : "You fucking smug prat."

D : "Blue is my favourite colour, Granger."

Draco lifts the spell and walks out.

Funny, she would've bet her left tit that it was black.

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh Part 3

a/n: yall i love seijoh so much like theyre my favorite school and my favorite boys and i know their names by heart and im just so SOFT for them !!!!!

also: yall will find out what other fandom ill be writing for in the future in this one

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

combined two anon requests:

- Could we get the boys reacting to finding out the seijoh manager is quite popular to both genders?? Maybe they over hear a confession?

- Why do I feel like half of the team would be all pouty when word comes around that a guy confessed to manager, the others would probably be annoyed/irritated. Oikawa being all bratty cause no matter what he tried,she never showed ant interest when he flirts. But now this boy comes alone ... (but like you said manager is too focused in school and the team)

MY HEART WAS RIPPED OUT OF MY CHEST AND THROWN INTO A BLENDER WHEN I SAW THIS PART OR JUST WHEN SEIJOH LOST IN GENERAL BC MY BABIES WORKED SO HARD AAAAAAA

oof girl the world is ending

so basically,,,,,

the entire just magically knew about what happened earlier and yahaba’s theory of team telepathy really does work bc not even a minute after it happened, they all spammed you messages and next thing you knew, oikawa was naruto-ing down from the 3rd floor to your class in the first floor

tbh, they shouldve seen this coming yanno?

you were ridiculously pretty and you carried yourself w such elegance and grace that it just seemed to hypnotize everyone into stopping what they were doing and watched you in awe doing the most mundane things like walking or sitting

lmao couldnt be me

your confessions usually happened over letters bc either tol boys kunimi or kindaichi are usually around you at all times so theyre too scared to do anything

hence why your locker was always filled with envelopes yet no upfront public confessions

it ranged from upperclassmen and upperclasswomen who expressed their interest in you and wanted to date you and get to know you better

but tf you dont even know them and you werent about to date a whole stranger

this made the boys a little peeved because you were popular with both the boys and the gals so they were constantly on edge on who was talking to you

it was like having an oikawa 2.0 but not indulging them and pretending theyre not even there

like when you walk to class and sit down, they would flock over and offer you drinks and snacks but you either turned them down or just flat-out ignored them

maybe this was what fueled others on more

your reserved attitude and your refusals made it look like you were playing hard to get and it was almost like a game on who could win the heart of the princess of seijoh

this was proven really difficult because not only do they have your dismissals, you also had guard dogs at every corner and would bite their head off at the slight indication of an interaction

however,,,,

today,,,

this morning,,,,

at 7:53 AM,,,,

they saw you walking down the hallway with a purple-haired boy holding your bag and you giggling at what he was saying

um EXCUSE ME MAAM WHAT

EVERYONE HAS BEEN TRYING TO GAIN YOUR AFFECTIONS FOR MONTHS YET YOU ARE HERE INTERACTING WITH A MALE WHO NO ONE EVEN KNOWS

ESPECIALLY SINCE HE WAS A MALE WHO WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE RIGHT NEXT TO YOU AND HE WASNT A MEMBER OF THE TEAM

!!!!!

and ofc, the boys would immediately know even though theyre spread all over the school

it was kyoken who saw you as he was leaning against your locker and his eyes narrowed before he secretly took a picture and sent it to yahaba, asking if there was a new guy who entered the team while he was away

when he replied with a panicked, ‘NO WHO IS THAT’

kyoken was already advancing to you

yahaba-san immediately sent the picture to the team group chat, that excluded you rood, and oikawa wasted no time and even pushed some fangirls so he could go to you

‘-and she destroyed my sheets’

you laughed at the story and hitoshi stared at you with awe in his eyes

how can someone laugh so beautifully?

like a snort should be considered ugly and gross but it was like cute little squeaks from you and he thought you were like a fairy

‘oh god, i wasnt-’

you were cut off with a hand that held your arm

you came face to face with the glaring face of one of your boys and you immediately turned to him in concern, immediately grasping an arm with the other hand on his cheek to look for any cuts

he rarely comes to you on a normal basis so you thought something was wrong

‘whats wrong, kyo-san? did you get into a fight? do you need me to patch you up?’

he didnt care what you were saying, instead heatedly glaring at this new guy, and grunted a response to agreeing with you going to the nurse

just anywhere to get you away from this,,,, stranger

‘toshi i have to-’

then you were cut off again

‘YYYYY/NNNNNNN-CHHHHHAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

‘OI SHITTYKAWA!’

‘OIKAWA-SAN!’

‘OIKAWA!’

‘CAPTAIN!’

from behind you, 5 tol looming figures were running towards you and next thing you knew, you were in the arms of your captain

‘oikawa-san! what are you doing?!’

oikawa held you tightly against his chest and had his arms tightly around your form to prevent you from being taken away

most of the volleyball team were now circling you and pointedly glaring at the poor boy who was so confused that he wasnt bothered by the death glares

‘oh, its you’

kunimi grumbled

‘kunimi, whats happening?’

hitoshi questioned

you fought away from the hold of oikawa and pushed mattsukawa and hanamaki to stand in front of shinsou hitoshi

‘so sorry about this, toshi. i’ll help you with your room later and ill text you when practice is finished, okay?’

you sheepishly smiled and he nodded, his own smile reassuring you

‘yep. ill see you later then’

‘bye’

you softly said and he turned to walk away

but as soon as he was out of sight, you turned around with a grim looking expression and your hands on your hips, a hard look in your eyes

‘boys, what was that?’

you gritted out

‘y/n-chan! don’t you see?! he was going to take you away! he was an intrude-OW!’

he yelped when you reached up and grabbed his ear before grabbing the other closest who was iwaizumi

they both whined and complained about the ear and slapped your hand but you didnt let up

‘he is a friend, oikawa-san. you have no right on who i can be friends and who i can hang out with because i still have a life outside the team!’

you scolded and the others hung their heads low like puppies

‘sorry, y/n-chan’

oikawa mumbled and iwaizumi also mumbled his apology so you let go of them, dusting off your hands

‘and the rest of you, hold back your captain and dont intimidate him like that!’

‘sorry’

you sighed but ruffled their hair before turning to go to class

‘now, be good boys and dont bother others like this again’

‘yes’

they chorused and you nodded, satisfied

‘ill hold you to it!’

you shouted as you walked down the hallway

when you turned a corner, oikawa grabbed kunimi by the arms

‘you know him, dont you? who is he? what class? address? mother’s name? father’s name? age-’

‘oi stop it, shittykawa’

but despite that, iwaizumi looked at the younger, expecting answers as well

kunimi sighed

‘thats shinsou hitoshi from class 1-3. we have gym together’

and ‘we’ was kunimi and you since you were both in the same class so you constantly saw this shinsou boy?

nuh uh, dont think so, francisco

from the looks of it, you were still single and there was a pining from shinso’s part, maybe yours they dont know

and they were going to do everything in their power to keep you away from him

this was excused to them as protecting their manager from someone else and they werent going to let you be taken by someone else

during practice, they grilled you over your relationship with him

‘i honestly dont know why this is your business but if you must know, his adoptive father, aizawa-san, is my mother’s co-worker and i usually catsit for them. dont worry, we’re not dating. just friends, that’s all’

but they know it wasnt just a friendship type of situation

so when the 4 third years saw you being confessed to by this ‘friend’ outside, they almost toppled out the window as they tried to listen to what was being said

‘shittykawa get off my back!’

‘nuh uh! i want to see clearly!’

‘everyone needs to know that code red is happening!’

yall what

mattsun took a picture and sent it to the gc about their princess being confessed to 

no one replied, possibly too upset or too busy sulking

kyoken actually had to be excused outside bc he was glaring at everyone and everything and the teacher and students were so scared that they had to take him out of class

they were even more peeved when you just walked in like nothing happened

you didnt mention the confession to anyone else the whole day and when you entered the gym, it was very tense

the coaches even looked confused

‘did you guys fight?’

you questioned but no one answered

kunimi and kindaichi were playing with a ball and glaring at it as it hit the floor

the 2nd years yes including kyobabie were pouting to the side

the 3rd years looked annoyed and pissed off 

overall just not seijoh babie vibes

i am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the gym today🧚✨

‘hey’

you gently said and walked to the captain to figure out what was going on

‘oikawa-san, what happened?’

‘are you dating him now, y/n?’

the seriousness in his voice shocked you and you took a step back in surprise

your expression made him think that you did accept the confession and he scoffed before walking away and doing a jump serve that sounded like a canon blasting

but you were actually confused and surprised that they even knew bc you were sure it was a secluded area where no one could see you

‘dating,,,? dating who?’

you asked to them and the 3rd years just knitted their eyebrows

‘dont play coy, y/n-chan’

oikawa hissed

‘no matter how many times i flirted or asked you on dates, you never said yes. never agreed or even showed a little bit of interest. on me!! your captain!!! but now!!! this little grape boy comes along and you suddenly start dating just because he has cats! what kinda bias is this?!’

he started ranting and whining and being a brat that you pinched his nose shut

‘oi, oikawa-san, are you jumping to conclusions again? first the hickey accident and now this?’

he made a whining noise for you to let go and rubbed his nose when you finally let go

you turned around to face the others and you sighed, massaging your temples

‘everyone, who spread this misunderstanding?’

no one pointed to anyone but their gazes settled on the thick eyebrow boy that you were sure wouldnt have ratted you out

a noise of surprise and betrayal escaped from you as mattsun quickly scrambled to get everyone to stop staring at him

‘MATTSUN-SAN! YOU-!’

you pointed at him and mattsun rushed forward to grab your hands before holding them close to his chest

‘y/n-chan, we just saw you when we were passing! it was makki who wanted to tell the others!’

the betrayal made iwa laugh but makki ran up to kick mattsun to the side

‘youre the one who committed the deed! i was merely suggesting it! it was iwaizumi who wanted to watch them first!’

‘IWA-SAN!’

you gasped at the normally chill third year and you didnt expect him to be the one who started it first

iwa panicked and held his hands out cautiously

‘y/n-chan, understand that i was just worried and i didnt want you to be outside by yourself after what happened, okay? i didnt know he was confessing to you’

you closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose tightly

‘again! whoever and whatever happens in my love life is my business! mine! and only mine! you cannot control it and get angry at ME because i do want a boyfriend and i do want to experience dating bc i want to know how it feels to be loved like that! so i wont let a bunch of children stop me from having that!’

the third years shared a look before they they gave up and nodded in defeat

but oikawa was the most offended

‘Y/N-CHAN! I ASK YOU ON DATES ALL THE TIME AND I ALWAYS OFFER TO GIVE YOU THAT LOVE SO WHY CAN’T IT BE ME?! WHAT DOES THAT GRAPE HUMANOID HAVE THAT I DONT?!’

he whined and stomped his foot after crossing his arms and a pout on his face

you shook your head, not even bothering to answer that, and went to the others

‘dont be mad and be upset, okay? i refused him bc i have no time for a relationship when im too busy looking after my own boys. i really dont want to add another’

kindaichi and yahaba’s face scrunched as they rushed forward to hug you 

‘we thought you would leave us y/n-chan!’

‘stay as ours forever, okay?’

you were so relieved that they werent as aggressive as the oldests and gave each player their own favorite hugs

but you stopped in front of kyo, not really knowing how to hug him since youve never exactly showed any type of affection like that

so you were just awkwardly standing there with raised arms but he patted your head, you smiling and leaning more to his touch

‘hm, kyo-san, ya finally warming up to me?’

you teased but he scoffed, gently headbutting you with his forehead against yours

‘now, everyone! dont misunderstand and know that for as long as i will be a manager, i wont be in a relationship bc my time as a manager is too crucial since i would probably have to look after you so you dont get yourself to jail. a boyfriend is adding more boys in to that list and i dont want that. you will be my boys forever and i wont be taken from you so please trust on me and stop being so overprotective bc i wont give them the affection or wishes they want!’

oikawa teared up and was about to go trample you but he was held back

‘no! i want a hug! i want a family hug! cmon, iwa-chan!’

practice went by quickly but you demanded them to do 10 diving laps in punishment for all the misunderstandings theyve created 

but they gladly did it bc it meant that you wont be taken from them and you would be theirs forever and their cute manager is going to pay attention to them and them only

i got serious yandere vibes from this but its so heartwarming that theyre so overprotective and lowkey you got yourself a harem

after practice, they all wanted to walk home with you but you told them that shinsou’s house was the other direction

‘y/n-chan! you said you wouldn’t-’

you rolled your eyes

‘oikawa-san, just because i refused that confession doesnt mean i will stop earning money. i still have to catsit for his family and earn my money!’

they only agreed when kyo said that he was walking that way too but they were still weary and jealous bc he got to spend more time with you than them

as you were both walking, you looked up at him

‘kyo-san, what type of hug do you like?’

‘hah?’

he looked down at you bc we short with wide eyes and flushed cheeks

you smiled and looked forward, skipping slightly

‘everyone in the team has their own special hugs. i want everyone to have one bc you all are individually special to me so-’

but he stopped walking and pulled arm before he lifted you up, making you squeak and wrap your legs around his waist

thank god you were wearing your tracksuit and not your skirt

‘k-kyo-san?’

bruh is it obv that kyoken is one of my favorite seijoh boys like bls love on him

he didnt want you to see his flustered expression bc he still has a reputation to uphold, yanno?

so he tucked it in your neck and you softly smiled before playing with the baby hairs at the base of his neck

‘you like this kind then, kyo-san? kinda aggressive but perfectly suits you, yanno?’

he just grunted and you laughed

he wasnt about to tell you that he liked holding you on his arms bc you were so tiny and so you that holding you like this makes him feel like he was protecting you and feel good about himself bc he gets to be the one who shields you from the world

yuhhhhh get it kyo

‘so yahaba-san told me that you got kicked out of class bc you scared the teacher and kids?’

you questioned and he left his spot on your neck and pulled his face back so you could clearly see his face

it was red and possibly flustered but you just snickered

he still held you by his strong arms so you were able to move your small hands to his face where he flinched at first but relaxed when you touched his cheeks

your fingers gently pulled the sides of his lips and you tilted your head to the side

‘you,,, look really handsome when you smile, kyo-san’

you whispered and he was so surprised that his tough mask fell and was replaced by wide eyes and his eyebrows rose up, the intimidating look disappearing from his eyes

‘i-i do?’

you bit your lip bc this was so different from the aggressive kyo you knew and you didnt expect this type of innocence that he just showed you

maybe he wasnt so innocent from the fights and arguments he has started or been in 

but he was so innocent to soft touches and compliments bc he wasnt exposed to it, only used to the ones that were said due to the aura he exuded or his looks

‘yep, you do. so keep smiling for me, kay? dont have to be around the others or all the time, but i,,, want to see it sometimes’

he blinked at you but quickly went back to your neck to hide the big smile that was threatening to come out

you felt his lips move and you laughed

‘noooo! kyo-san!!! i want to see your smilee!!! dont hide it!!!’

but it was cut short when a familiar shout was heard from the other side of the street that was near the school

it seemed that oikawa was worried about you walking alone with kyoken so he followed you both with the other third years

‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan!’

he shouted in betrayal

you were about to get away from kyo’s hold but he tightened his grip and leaned in to place a kiss on your forehead, still staring straight at the captain

‘mine’

again, do you know what happened next?

oikawa screamed

this was actually pretty funny to write bc wowza oikawa is so oikawa and hes just so oikawa-like, yanno? and im still simping over kyoken and shinsou is my ult fave in bnha and i really love him like ugghhhh :’)

[fluffi]

AN INTERVIEW WITH EXES :: HEESEUNG

heeseung x gn!reader. angst, exes-to-friends!au. 1021 words. toxic relationship warning. credit to @by-moonflower​.

the first installment of this untimed and unplanned series. be sure to check out @/by-moonflower’s skz and svt versions!

[how did you meet?]

heeseung: well, it was fate, i guess.

you: not really, now that this fever dream is over.

heeseung: if you could just put your petty feelings aside for a moment then we could do this freaking interview.

you: i didnt know i was going to have to do this with you. i wouldnt have shown up if i knew it was going to be between us.

heeseung:

[cut]

you: you were running out of your training building...

heeseung: and you were walking with your iced coffee. you know what happens next.

you: you didnt look at where you were going and bumped into me and my untouched ice coffee! i hadnt even taken a sip.

heeseung: it spilled all over my shirt. i was about to apologize but you and your courteous self decided to help me clean up and one impromptu date led to another one. before i knew it, you would wait for me outside the building every friday evening to hang out.

you: i wasted time out of my only free day to go shopping for new clothes with you, and then i wasted that same free day every evening to spend time with you, only for it to result in...nothing.

heeseung: you didnt waste your time back then.

you: maybe i didn’t last time, but now i have. i wasted months of time and money that i put into this failed relationship.

heeseung: im sorry

you: why are you only saying it now?

[why did you break up?]

you: i dont want to talk about it.

heeseung: i..was stupid back then.

you: i think its good that youre admitting that now. a few years later.

heeseung:

[cut]

heeseung: i was having a long day. i returned home to see you there, and i was happy, but-

you: theres always a but.

heeseung:

heeseung: i got scolded horribly that day, nothing was just going the way i wanted it to. and then i came back to see you so cheerful. you were excited and kept on clinging onto me. i dont know...i- i lashed out.

you: lashed out is an understatement. maybe i shouldnt have been excited to see you return that day. if i were sad, would we still be together right now?

heeseung: no. i hate to say it...we were, perhaps, never fated to work out.

you:

you: i need a moment.

[cut]

you: he lashed out at me and told me that i was annoying, unbearable, and so clingy. he described me as a leech. then, he-

heeseung: dont say it. please, dont.

you: ...he told me that we should’ve never been together. apparently i was the only thing keeping him from success back then.

you: i hope you’ve succeeded now. i hope youre happy without me. thats what you were looking for. happiness. i couldnt provide that for you.

heeseung: i dont know what was wrong with me. i ended up calling you, texting you, knocked on your door every night, expecting a response, even though i knew that i wasnt deserving of one.

you: ...and you didnt get it. i moved out on my own, made new friends. i lived my life the way i truly wanted to live it. i wasnt just your “leech” anymore, i was my own new person.

heeseung: im happy that youre free now. i truly am. i was toxic back then, wasnt i?

you: i didnt see it back then, but as time went on, i figured that we were both toxic, each in our own different way.

heeseung: i thought it was just me? i seriously dont think you did anything wrong.

you: maybe you were blinded by your major mistake that led to our downfall. perhaps, i really was too clingy.

heeseung:

heeseung: oh.

[when were you happiest together?]

heeseung: this is easy. the start of the relationship. puppy love does weird things to your heart.

you: honestly, i think everything flowed better when we werent seeing each other as much. i couldnt cling onto you, and you couldnt yell at me for clinging onto you.

heeseung: thats also true. everytime we stayed together for more than twenty-four hours, we ended up fighting. then it led to ignoring each other, then you wailing at three in the morning, then me consoling you and apologizing, and repeat.

you: you really didnt have to expose me like that.

heeseung: your wailing was kind of cute, not going to lie.

you:

[cut]

you: we really did better when we were busy doing our own things.

heeseung: the weekly meetups were enough for us. perhaps...more than enough. it felt like our dates were my hiatus from the real world.

you: yeah, to sum it up, our relationship was a fever dream, an escape from our real lives.

heeseung:

heeseung: yeah, you were my source of joy, until i felt like you overstepped your boundaries.

you: and you were my source of freedom, until you blocked me out from your life.

you:

you: are we finally agreeing on something?

[what was unique about your relationship?]

heeseung: so many things!

you: mmhm. our route of communication was nothing like what our friends had.

heeseung: everyone around us were always texting their significant others, telling them that they missed them, kisses through facetime, cheesy things that we never felt comfortable doing.

you: we were different. the only times we’d meet seemed to either be utopia or dystopia. there was no in between.

heeseung: i think we just didn’t match. maybe we weren’t like our friends because...we couldn’t be, maybe we didnt see each other in the same tunnel of affection.

[would you try again?]

you: from what we’ve said earlier...

heeseung: no.

you: oh, good! i thought you were going to say something else.

heeseung: i think it is obvious that we were never meant to be together. even our first encounter was a disaster.

you: wow, you really have to put it that way, dont you?

heeseung: i was just stating the truth! besides, we could always try again...platonically?

you:

you: i’d like that. i really would.

2021 © fluffi

[ganondoodle]

yr brain? galaxy level. i wanna hear all ur lore and stuff

you know what ? im gonna write the basic plot for soogas backstory here now too-

- his parents were both sheikah soldiers serving the royal family, they were nearly never home so he barely even knew them and was pretty much living on his own from a young age on

- they both died while on a mission far away, but that didnt change much for him other than him having to find a way to earn money himself now

- when he was a teenager he was recruited by the royal family (he wanted to tho) which is also where he met Hibiki (my only real zelda Oc .. sorry gotta involve them now- this is how they look, although they are older here than when sooga first met them

i think i forgot to post this on tumblr lmao; anyway they are an artist and a bit older than sooga)

- since they were both outcasts with no relatives that cared about them they quickly became friends (tho it was def more one sided at first bc Hibiki is a way more extroverted ) tho Hibiki has been a bit longer in the army so they rarely went on missions together and only hung out during breaks or when they had both time off

- even after years of training they both stayed in the lower ranks of the army and never managed to climb to a higher one, part of the reason was that Hibiki didnt do a good job of being a spy, not bc they were detected, they just never had much information to report for some reason and Sooga always defended them when they got bullied by higher ups for it (you know how he threatens ppl) which in turn made him less liked and got him almost kicked out once (and yes, Hibiki did have a crush on Sooga but he never realized that even tho they made it REALLY obvious)

- you know the story how link got appointed as zeldas bodyguard ? with him deflecting a laser from a malfunctioning guardian to protect the princess ? yeah, so in my hc, while he did deflect it it didnt straight up hit the guardian back but rather was simply redirected and although Hibiki tried to pull Sooga away it still hit the left side of his face which is how he got that big af scar and lost his eye

- he survived and of course Hibiki was there to take care of him whenever they could, but the more time went on while he recovered it was made clear that the higher ups wanted to kick him out of the army after his wound healed bc they didnt think he was fit to fight anymore missing an eye (thats what they said but it was pretty obvious they just wanted a reason to get rid of him) 

- Hibiki reassured Sooga they would do everything they could to convince them otherwise bc they knew that all he ever wanted to do is be a strong and respected soldier serving the royal family, but who would listen to the worst spy in the whole army .. he got kicked out anyway of course and was forced to work as a farmer (more like help other farmers really) 

- from then on Hibiki was trying to be a better spy, so they could earn enough respect to maybe get the army to welcome Sooga back into their ranks

- but one day when Sooga returned from some field work he noticed a new grave at the corner of the village, and asked who died, it took some time for him to find out it was Hibiki who fell in battle bc after they left the village they never returned so the other villagers forgot even their name, the army brought their body back into the village since they were borne there and didnt have any living relatives

- that was what pushed his resentment for the kingdom and the other sheikah over the edge really, he stole some ancient hidden away sheikah scrolls from the elder of the village and used them to teach himself some techniques ... or at least TRIED to, the only one he was able to manage was a half functional clone, which he used to fake his death and live a live in the shadows, staying away from settlements out of fear of beign recognized

- he made his way into the gerudo desert where he never went to before, and in a cold night snuk undetected into the yiga hideout in the search for shelter since he wasnt equipped for that kind o extreme weather .. tho he didnt realize what he just did

- in the morning he was found after all and, understandably, attacked bc wth how did that guy even get in here ?? after he managed to survive for pretty long given the circumstances, he tried to flee but was stopped by master kohga himself, and while kohga was monologing about .. stuff, Sooga realized this might be his chance to live a proper life again and that pretty close to what he always wanted, so he promptly asks to join them

- positively surprised kohga of course cant just accept him into the clan like that, i mean Sooga was wearing sheikah clothing and got UNDETECTED into their hideout and took a nap there for several hours before being found, thats suspicious as hell

- after being put through several tests and challanges he is accepted into the clan after all-

- now fast forward post calamity (just a few years tho) the topic of Soogas origins comes up and he tells kohga alot but is interrupted bc koh ask him if the friend he was talking about was “a kinda weird artist” ... turns out Hibiki died in a clash with the yiga clan and ... was killed by kohga himself.

- Hibiki always carried a sketchbook in a bag around with them, and the clan took it after their death bc they thought it might contain useful info, it didnt, but since the sketches in it where pretty good they kept it anyway even if it was only half readable since it got soaked in blood

- that is a reveal that tested soogas loyalty to the clan like nothing else could (everyone in the clan including kohga, was expecting him to turn against them again, but were still waiting for him to actually betray the clan)

- sooga didnt turn on them tho, reason was, he managed to seperate the pages of the sketchbook that were stuck together from blood and discovered finely detailed art of the hideout, of its interior too and even of kohga as well

- Hibiki never had much info to tell their superiors bc they snuk around the hideout when on a mission but never with the goal to rat the clan out. they secretly admired kohga and the clan, even wanted to join them for a long time, but never got to do it bc they didnt want to leave Sooga behind but also .. they were afraid to tell him bc he was so focused on becoming a good sheikah soldier they were sure he wouldnt feel the same; they were torn between wanting to join the yiga but afraid of destroying their friendship with sooga ..

when they got into that fatal fight with the clan, kohga didnt even attack them with the intend to kill and they could have easily dodged or parried the hit, the reason they didnt was, ironically, bc they were so stunned by admiration of seeing their idol right in front of them they didnt move a muscle until it was too late...

this got longer than i thought, maybe i went into too much detail here, but anyway this is a summary of the backstory i came up with for Sooga, it doesnt end here tho, this is more like the story of how sooga became part of the yiga; after all of this comes alot more tho it wouldnt make much sense to add that here too xD 

sorry for the long af post, i hope its somewhat understandable ;__;

[tastyykpop]

hii! can i request a jeno very angsty scenario where its his s/o and his anniversary but he forgets abt it bc the dreamies wanted to go to an amusement park and then the managers took his phone so when he comes home his s/o and him get into a fight and they dont talk to each other but she always goes their dance practices since his s/o is so used to taking care of him and he gets sad bc his s/o doesn't look at him at all and he's tired because since he's so stressed with the cbs he just wants love but he knows he's wrong and they make up and stuff:) I'm sorry if this is long! you dont have to do it if you dont want to:)<3

a/n: jdjsjsjsj thanks for this beefy request it was fun to write :)

[sᴀʟᴛʏ]

𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕥,ƒℓυƒƒ

Sitting on your bed, you wondered when your boyfriend was coming home. After texting him where he was and wondering when he'd come pick you up to celebrate your guy's anniversary, youd started losing hope seeing as he never answered or bothered reading them. You knew jeno to always answer after just one second but it was like he was ignoring you.

Furious and heartbroken, you threw your phone on at the other side of the bed and decided to just take off the dress you were going to surprise him in. It was his favorite color too. A deep shade of blue silk, comfortable and cute yet still appropriate enough to wear at the fancy restaurant you guys were planning on going to. But those plans were thrown out the window quickly once you noticed how late it was.

"Why do men?" your eyes rolled as you moved in your bed, trying to get comfy.

"Why do men what?" You shot up in the bed from the sound of jenos voice as it basically frightened you back to reality. He was so quiet, you didn't even hear him walk through the door.

"Its about time you showed up." Jeno raised an eyebrow at your sudden aggression, not knowing why you were suddenly angry at him. He thought you'd be excited to see him.

"Woah why are you getting mad at me?" He questioned as he started changing out of his work clothes and into his pajamas.

You grit your teeth. How could he forget this special day that only comes once a year? "Did you forget what day it is?"

Jeno cocked his head to the side, "Um...Tuesday?" He really was clueless on where you were going with this, but your face made him realize he was missing something.

"Jeno..." your head fell into your hands, your boyfriend sat next to you in the bed, still wondering what he was missing and why it was on the tip of his tongue, "Our anniversary, you missed our damn anniversary."

The boys eyes bugged, he knew he missed something and the whole day he couldn't figure it out. He had been so stressed with the recent comeback and the upcoming one that even something as simple as an anniversary date slipped his mind.

God, he felt so bad just thinking how excited you probably were today to go out with him and enjoy your guy's day together, but because of him, your day was long gone and passed up.

"No wait, that was today!? Babe I'm so sorry, I was with the dreamies at the amusement park and I didn't have my phone with me because my manager took it and-" jeno stopped mid sentence before noticing he still didn't have his phone and forgot to get it back from his manager. He messed up bad today.

"You could've told me beforehand you were doing something with dream, although I still wouldn't have appreciated you missing our anniversary, but at least you wouldve told me where you went." You showed your annoyance by rolling over in bed, ignoring jeno.

Jeno growled at his sudden frustration, he already apologized and explained himself why are you still mad? "You know what? At least I told you what the hell I was doing and why I couldn't respond. Yeah I missed the anniversary, but you know what? Its just the fucking time of year we started dating, the day will come again."

"So what you're telling me is you don't care about the day we started dating? Whatever I'm not in the mood to argue right now." You never turned to look at jeno once you finished talking, needless to say you didn't care what he was going to reply with. It wasnt like he cared anyway.

The bass of the music boomed in the practice room. Everyone was so tired these past few days and were anxious for the upcoming comeback that all they wanted to do was relax for once and take a break.

Jeno especially.

After the little argument you both had last night, he couldnt get that out of his head. There were no words spoken to him this morning and you didn't even spare him a glance. His heart broke for sure and he didnt know what to do because he knew he messed up bad. Saying those words to you and knowing how much it meant to you, was something he wish he could take back and start over.

Walking through the practice door, you took a seat on the floor where you rested your head against the wall with bags of food for the members. They were doing so well preparing for their comeback you wanted to congratulate them for working so hard. Plus, you wanted to make sure jeno had eaten today.

"Is that food for us!?" Chenle came barging towards you, giving you a strong squeeze as you laughed into his shoulder.

"Yeah I got food for everyone to congratulate you guys for working so hard." You smiled and handed the bags of food to chenle who looked about ready to take it for himself and eat it.

"Thanks so much y/n! You're the best!" He hopped away happily with the food. Jeno stared between the food and you. He loved how you took care of everyone and still came to their practice though you both weren't on best of terms at the moment, but you weren't even looking at him or acknowledging his presence again, only returning your attention to your phone.

Jaemin wrapped an arm around jenos shoulders as he was eating a chicken wing and looked at the you as well, "Whats up with the both of you all of a sudden? Normally you guys are being so disgustingly cute that I have to walk away for a solid 5 minutes." Jaemin sighed.

"I-its nothing. We just-"

"What is it?"

Jeno shook his head and put on the best smile he could muster while patting jaemins back, "its really nothing jaemin." He said and walked over to the food.

You on the other hand felt bad for causing jeno to be this way. He was silent and didn't really interact with the members when they were eating and goofing around. Not even haechan or mark could crack him. You sighed, putting your phone down and leaned your head against the wall. The only way for all this tension between the two of you would be to settle this and forgive one another. It shouldn't be that hard.

"Jeno," you called, startling your boyfriend who perked up with full cheeks, "come here please."

The dreamies silently watched jeno amble towards you, too invested in what was going to happen to continue talking. You didn't seem to care though, just wanting to get it over with and talk with jeno.

You still stared at the ground avoiding eye contact with jeno, but he couldnt take it. All he wanted was your attention on him.

"Can't you just look at me," he muttered before taking a seat in front of you, "I know I messed up, but please?"

You blinked up at him, "wait...jeno are you tearing up?"

Jeno sniffled back the tears and looked at you with big puppy eyes, your heart sank at the sight. You didn't intend to hurt him, you were just sad and angry about one important thing. And now you think maybe ignoring him had gone too far.

"Please dont cry." You took his hand into yours, softly caressing his knuckles.

"I-im sorry I cant help it. I know I messed up and now you're ignoring me and its just so frustrating because of the comebacks and I'm so used to you taking care of me that I can't even go one day without you loving me." Jeno teared up again. If just a day could hurt him, imagine what would happen if you kept this up.

"You think I dont love you right now?" You asked. Jeno nodded his head slowly, "Babe, of course I love you, I was just mad you forgot or anniversary and went to the amusement park with the dreamies." A sigh fell from your lips before you lifted jenos chin up, "I shouldn't have acted the way I did last night and argued. I dont expect you to be perfect jeno."

There was a smile on the boys face as he brought a hand behind your head and kissed your cheek, "Im sorry, I really am baby. I promise ill make it up to you." He said.

"I know a really cute restaurant. We can have a cute date later." You smiled and jeno nodded his head happily until you heard a groan come behind him.

"This was so disgusting. I need to walk away now."

[eijie-cavies]

Wen Kexing and the great divide.

So as we all know Episode 32 and 33 has left us with a plethora of questions and the fans are divided in terms of their view on Wen Kexing's plan. Tbh that is to be expected if you look at it. It was an asshole move to hide everything from A-Xu and leave him to find his soulmate's dead body only to find holy shit this motherfucker is alive still what the hell. And so a lot of the fans sided with the argument that Wen Kexing never learned and was acting like a selfish lone wolf. But today i am here to try to analyze the plan between Scorpion king, Wen Kexing and Ye bai Ye.

Please keep in mind i haven't watched the entirety of the show yet and so some theories here might not fit in with the rest of Kexing's explanation for the next episode.

Also thid will contain spoilers so please be warned.

Alright let's start. I will be dividing this analysis into parts. 1st part is the show's script and budgeting and why they chose the route that the went with.

2nd part is my theories on the heroes conference and why it was rushed as well as the timeline.

And lastly Wen Kexing's POV and the analysis for his plan and why he did what he did keeping A-Xu in mind as well.

A few extra bonuses is the romeo and juliet plot and why i think it had to be in the plot somehow.

So lets start, sit down and grab a drink for this you will need it.

1st part.

Scriptwriting and budgeting.

This show was supposed to have 45 episode and so the plot would have had more time to marinate and kick in if it weren't for the shortening of the epsiode.

With this in mind the scriptwriter had originally planned for this 45 episode and sadly we won't probably know what was supposed to happen if it weren't cut to 36 episode. But we do have Wolong nuts to thank for giving the drama sponsorship and making the drama into 36 rather than 32. If we had only 32 episodes in this drama everything would have felt too rushed and fast paced. And so to have to cut 9 episodes worth of plot the screewriter was put in a tight spot on how to cram three different events. Namely the kidnapping, the exposing of Zhao Jing and of course the wedding plot as well.

Thus the Romeo and Juliet plot was born. We will be discussing this plot in depth later on in the analysis. Nonetheless if they have had all the freedom and budget it would have been nice to see a plot of Zhou Zishu, Wen Kexing and The Scorpion King all work together to bring Zhao Jing down. For now let us work on the plot given to us.

2.) Timeline.

The heroes conference is a huge deal, this is where EVERYONE of big sects and names gather in the martial arts world, its the equivalent of the whole world witnessing everything. This event is a big part of the plan that the three accomplices had, if they didn't act right away Wen Kexing and Xie'er (Scorpion King) wouldn't have had the chance to expose Zhao Jing in the future, because like what the beauty ghost relayed, once the heroes conference is over Zhao Jing planned on killing Xie'er and eradicating the ghost valley. There would have been no other time to take him down, no time to wait for another heroes conference as Zhao Jing would have risen in power already, they would have been too powerful to stop and the merits he would have gained by then would be multiplies, the people wouldnt see him as evil anymore. Therefore it was crucial to strike at the time where they are most vulnerable and the seed of doubt was still fresh, if they had waited, everyone would have disregarded Wen Kexing as a mad man and praised Zhao Jing for saving them from the purges of the ghost valley.

And scorpion king? Who would believe him if he was the only one to take a stand? His Godfather no doubt would have acted as if he didnt know what Scorpion was saying and act innocent. Even if he was spared Scorpion had no allies other than Wen Kexing who's allies was also born out of the same hatred they had for Zhao Jing. Everyone was forced to act swiftly, it was an all or none kind of situation. Now if we backtrack to the previous episodes, not two episode ago Zhou Zishu was heavily injured because of the kidnapping and was given no time to properly heal before everything needed to be set. As you can see in episode 31 Wen Kexing was in a hurry to meet Xie'er, don't you think it was iffy that he would leave A-Xu like that if he was still injured? The Wen Kexing that we all know would not have moved a single inch from Zhou Zishu's side if he were injured. And this is because of a lot of things which we will be getting to in the third part of the analysis.

Now on the subject of the plan and how Chengling had somehow gotten a hold of it. Simple, Ye bai Yi. He is free to roam around, sending messages and talking to people behind the scenes, we never really knew what he did after he left Wen kexing at four seasons manor and the reason why he had agreed on the rushed reopening of the heroes conference. but if you think about it it fits with the timeline. Zhao Jing wanted to reopen the heroes conference and Ye Bai Yi was sure that they were out to hunt down the chief of the ghost valley. If you remember the letter in episode 27 you will understand.

Why did they get that letter in the first place when the four seasons manor wasnt even fully restored yet? The martial arts world didnt even know that Zishu was on the road to reopening it and yet he got an invitation. This is Ye Bai Yi's first clue and a nudge for Wen Kexing to take action. This leads us to part 3. Wen Kexing's plan.

3. Wen Kexing's plan.

Now the question is why didn't Wen Kexing think to tell Zhou Zishu his plan? Simple. He is heavily injured. Now i was stuck here as well because i would have thought, why couldnt he just trust Zishu of his plan? BUT you all have forgotten this.

Wen Kexing has asked this two times, he wanted tell Chengling already so the kid could process it before he could stage his plan and possibly even tell Zhou Zishu on how he can use the heroes conference as an event where he can expose Zhao Jing. But Zhou Zishu was kidnapped, tortured and injured. There was no time to tell him of the plan without him having to stop Wen Kexing from doing it. At first i thought this didnt make sense, Wen should have trusted Zishu enough to carry on without distrubance right? Well a very nice person in Youtube provided some very interesting and eye opening points for me.

And they are right, if i were Wen kexing i wouldn't want to burden Zishu of having to wait around thinking where i went off to, why do you think he told A-Xiang to take care of Zishu and promised to go back in one piece?

A-Xiang was also kept in the dark of the plan, the only plan she knew was that Wen Kexing is planning to have an alliance with the scorpion king and thats it. He didnt fully disclose everything either.

Wen Kexing's plan was simple, after he was regarded as "Dead" he probably would have went home to tell Zhou Zishu he was completely fine and it was all a ruse to trap Zhao Jing. BUT the problem was that Zishu set out to find him, Bei Yuan and Da Wu couldn't stop him either as they had no time to explain everything without Zishu panicking. Like i said this was all too rushed of a plan for Zishu to comprehend specially when he needed to heal as fast as possible.

What they could only do is give Zishu a medicine to ensure that if he ever did take out the nails he would still be okay. And that was the downfall of Kexing's plan. He didnt expect Zishu to have escaped his friends watchful eyes and go to the siege, ever wonder why Kexing said this when Zishu arrived?

He was trying to convince Zishu to leave, make him believe that Wen Kexing is out for blood. But Zishu didn't fall for it, instead he stayed which was NOT a part of the plan at all. There was nothing Kexing could have done now, the siege was happening and he could only play along and move forward. And if you look closely again just as they were about to attack Kexing, Ye Ba Yi came to fight Kexing at the VERY right time, and who fought Zhou Zishu?

The three ghosts WuChang, his subordinate and Happy ghost. Why didn't anyone else go for Zishu? They could have had the scorpions attack him but they chose the Ghosts who are a part of Wen Kexing's valley, mind you these three ghosts were there when they rescued Zishu wouldn't it just sound stupid if they were fighting Zishu to kill him? No. What they tried to do is separate Zishu from Wen Kexing. Ye Bai ye could have eliminated Wen in 10 moves, he said this himself. But they had this complicated dance that somehow landed Wen Kexing at the edge of the cliff and left Chengling to do the rest.

And so he fell and Zishu followed. If you look closely even Ye Bai Yi was surprised that Zhishu jumped. NONE of it was part of the plan. From the moment Zishu entered to the moment he jumped no one planned for it.

And if you are upset of Zishu having to see Kexing's dead body and breaking his heart, this again was NOT A part of the plan. Beauty ghost was there to protect the corpse, if the corpse had not been burned it would have been presented to the martial art world and Kexing would come back as a different person and telling them "They got it wrong. That corpse is the chief of the ghost valley, i am Wen Kexing the disciple of four seasons manor" and it would have been more belieavable. But plans went south, Zishu found the corpse further solidfying that Kexing (in his mind) is dead and so he took out the nails. Ke xing couldn't show himself to stop Zishu either, there was so little time and he couldn't risk himself be seen.

Some others had been in the dark of the plan as well, not just Zishu, and the reason Wen Kexing didn't dare tell him was not because he didn't trust Zishu to stay away and let the plan carry out, instead he know EXACTLY what this will do to Zishu. Wen Kexing's plan was to HIDE Zishu away until the conference ended. Because with Da Wu and Bei Yuan, there would have been no news about Ke Xing dying that would have reached their place and Zishu would have had all the time to recover as Ke Xing took revenge and finally come back home as a new person.

He NEEDED Zishu to stay away from the fight to help himself heal just enough to get the nails out.

His revenge done and his new goal to be with Zishu for the rest of their lives. But unfortunate events happened, Zishu found out and there was other way to go but forward.

Ever wonder why Kexing had this look on his face on episode 33?

He wanted so bad to explain everything but the spotlight was on him and this was the only time he will be given the chance to take a stand. This is now between him and the Zhao Jing. Like everything there was nothing to do but move forward.

Now for bonus part.

Romeo and Juliet plot.

Romeo and Juliet plot is basically person A percieved as "Dead" and person B endagering their life to the brink of death only to find person A was alive and well but Person B is for real dying.

Now tbh i wasn't a big fan of the Romeo and Juliet plot, this was the reason why fans became so divided and saying Kexing didn't learn his lesson therefore lossing their faith in Kexing and Zishu's relationship. He was pervieved as childish and selfish, And tbh they would have had so many plot devices that they can use to maximize full on plotting and bringing down Zhao Jing. But going back to my first point of the budgeting im guessing the scriptwriter had struggled to cram it all in. It was already episode 33 and they still had two more plots to cram in (the wedding and curing Zishu) so im not as upset as much. In the end the whole staff gave their best and poured their heart and soul into the drama. On an ending note i'll just let this nice person do the talking for me

Thank you for reading! If you guys have your own theories feel free to discuss or voice them out.