#and now you know why it’s called the fig tree au :-3

[frodo-with-glasses]

We’re gonna teach ‘em how to say goodbye…

[raemanzu]

I posted 3,885 times in 2022

17 posts created (0%)

3,868 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tearlessrain

@propheticfire

@derinthescarletpescatarian

@ladyyatexel

@binaryystars

I tagged 1,659 of my posts in 2022

#the untamed - 153 posts

#cats - 148 posts

#zexal - 117 posts

#yugioh - 106 posts

#i need a gx tag - 44 posts

#good omens - 36 posts

#bugs - 33 posts

#commander cody - 29 posts

#science - 29 posts

#sabikui bisco - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#this post came back to haunt me while we were driving home from a fruit stand and the watermelon and cantaloupe kept thumping around in the

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

ofc the day I finally get my top surgery date set is the first day in months that I feel utterly ambushed by Bad Brain for the first half of the day before getting the phone call lol. Anyway I’m initiating operation flatness at the end of January woop woop. 

3 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

#4

sometimes love is a quiet spoon

because metal scraped against ceramic

is painful to sensitive, half-sleeping ears

sometimes love is trusting

enough to say "hey, this hurts"

what to some might seem foolish or small

and love is listening

finding ways to live more gently

and to need more honestly

and to say

okay

I will try something new

so here is to compostable plastic spoons

kept from a trip to IKEA

they are now a tool of affection

just a small way for me to make life

a little easier to walk through

and every morning

a wordless prayer

over my cereal

sleep well

wake gently

know that you're safe here

4 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

#3

Good Omens Fanfic: The Gospel of Crowley (Chapter 13)

“I asked God about you.”

Crowley’s stomach plunged through the earth and he steeled himself. That is, he tried to steel himself, but could not find much steely within to summon.

“Eh?” he croaked. He cleared his throat. “That so.”

Jesus’ expression was complicated, brow furrowed, mouth twisted somewhere between a weak smile and a pensive frown.

“I’m still trying to figure out the answer. But here’s what I think it is.”

—–

An AU where Crowley and Aziraphale end up a bit more involved in Jesus’ life than they intended. Begins around the Nativity, hits upon various points in Jesus’ childhood and the rest of his life and death. Kids have always been easy for Crowley to interact with, but what about the literal son of God?

So, wow... it’s been ages. This chapter was sitting around waiting for edits for a while and now we can finally share it! It may be a while before the next update since the next chapter is only half written... but we do intend to continue. We love this story a lot.

Preview: 

           Rain fell heavily on the thirsty earth, and it was too dry to drink it. Huge stretches of rock and brush were submerged in pools of runoff, wide temporary rivers cutting new paths in the dust, and the desert became muted, colors blurred and softened under the dark grey sky.

           There was no pressing reason for Crowley to be out here, standing underneath his tree. It certainly didn’t need watering, and its roots were holding well. Still, an inner compass had pulled him ever closer in his restless wanderings along the washed-out road, and the scent of the fruit, gone bright in the rain, had done the rest.

           He sat in the lower branches now, listening to the loud patter of fat drops on glossy leaves. It was peaceful. He kept his eyes closed, or watched the movement of the muddy water below. He tried not to remember. At one point, his eyes tracked the crawling of a tiny bedraggled fig wasp, its wings too heavy for flight.

           Wet footsteps below brought him out of his trance.

           “What are you doing out here?” Crowley asked before he even saw Jesus.

Read it on AO3

5 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

#2

Did not anticipate just how much being trapped at home with covid in the early summer would make me want to be able to go shirtless all the time but it really does. Why do my nipples have to be female presenting.

5 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

We Don’t Talk About Vector

(Just after Nasch and Rio remember they’re barians, but before remembering that Vector killed them, they ask the other barians if they can trust Vector or not)

We don’t talk about Vector, no, no, no!

We don’t talk about Vector… but

(Gilag and Alito)

We were invading earth

[We were invading earth]

Just possessing humans and we thought things were goin’ just fine

[thought this was our time to shine]

Vector shows up in this middle school getup

[LITTLE PUNK]

You telling this story or am I?

[Sorry bro, my bad, go on.]

Vector tanned Alito’s hide

[that so-called Shingetsu Rei]

I swore I’d carry on his fight

[wish I’d seen it a mile away]

Vector got Yuma on his side

[what a surprise that tricky bastard LIED]

We don’t talk about Vector, no, no, no!

We don’t talk about Vector!

(Durbe)

We’ve gone centuries putting up with his audacity

His bragging and his brashness push our patience past capacity

But I must admit, that in your absence, he’s made plans….

Plans that while elaborate have proved that he’s intelligent

And whate’er his motive is the outcome’s to our benefit

But then again, he is a master at all sleight of hand

Do you understand?

(Mizael)

See the full post

45 notes - Posted April 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU [Book 2]

Lost and confused? Read this post to catch up!

Chapter 6: Dear Diary, I Couldn’t Find My Diary...

It’s still one more day until move in! Luckily for me, I don’t have to babysit anyone’s brat on this fine Sunday.

“Hey mom” I called out for my mom from the couch “can we watch your iconic fight?”

“Oh sure! I have it saved under high school fights on the digital library” she yelled back from the laundry room “it should be the first one on the list.”

I scroll through the digital library on the TV and the robo doggy jumped up on the couch to take their ‘nap’.

“It still creeps me out that your robo does normal dog functions” Hoshi spoke up.

“Huh? What’s so weird about it?” I asked genuinely confused on their feeling.

“Like they bark, talk, sleep, growl and even pretends to eat at meal times” he looks at the little robo “I didn’t know these things were programed like that.”

“Oh this is the original robo dog and my mom and her friends made for their intel class project” I found the section mom what talking about as I talked “this one has a completely different set of internal devices and mechanics from what’s produced now. Uncle Jin says this AI is different too, Mr Muffins is programed to be a house pet, security bot and learning AI but this was his best at that time.” I tried to remember what else Jin told me “Oh! and his coat was hand sewn by my mom and repaired over the years to preserve the memory of her childhood pet.”

“That’s so sweet actually” Hoshi had a change of heart and pet the napping robo “looks like the rest is history huh?”

“Yup, speaking of” I click on the video “heres the video of that fight.”

We watched the video in awe on how the first two teams failed in the beginning and how my mom, Mimi and Jin just plow through the beginning like nothing. I noticed on how much they didn’t use quirks unless it was necessary for escape. Their roles changed so much in the fight and they all take turns taking the lead, that gave me a few ideas for new formations. We finally got to the part that made the fight iconic.

“Oh hey, that’s my dad and his friends” Hoshi’s eyes lit up “look how young they look! Heh I see why Nejire calls Tamaki chicken feet! Man’s feet are exposed, toes looking like they belong on a farm.”

I stifle my laugher and playfully hit Hoshi “Shut up! I’m trying to pay attention to the fight!”

He stayed quiet as the next part was crazy! I don’t even know how to describe it other than mom tricked all three of them into capture. The last part where she phased into the ground to escape the man’s grip to pop back up, naked and finished the electrical field for the kill. Ending the video with them holding hands as they cross the finish line. My jaw was on the floor.

“That was incredible! Your mom’s friends are just” Hoshi was trying to find the right words “I don’t even know what to say! Why does my dad even bother with those three? Anybody with common sense wouldn’t pick another fight with those three after an ass beating like that!”

“Didn’t they tell you?” my dad said, startling us.

“Tell us what?” Hoshi and I said curiously.

“Your mom and your dad used to date” my dad casually dropped as he took a sip of his canned orange juice “back in my first year, it didn’t last obviously, but that really put your mom on the popular scope at school. And this fight dethroned Mirio from his popular status and made your mom the one to take the spot.”

“My dad dated your mom?” Hoshi was in disbelief “that makes sense! His weird obsession with her and why your mom doesn’t want to work with him” he put everything together in his head “my dad has been harassing her for years because she was the only one that put him in his place!” 

“It’s my specialty!” Mom chimed in with a basket of fresh laundry “your dad had this whole plan to convert me into a hero because I was over powered and rare combination of double quirked. His plan fell through when he got me mad and broke up with me weeks later” she smirked “jokes on him, I hid my second quirk and gave him the slip in that fight when I showed up. If you should learn anything about me, it’s that I’m always 10 steps ahead of the enemy.”

“It’s true, that’s why you’re the queen of spars” my dad put his arm around her waist “smart, beautiful, powerful and witty...And all mine.”

Mom sneered at dad’s move on her but blushed “O si? Okay then Casanova” she phased right through him and replaced her hips with the laundry basket so he was holding it instead “you can put your laundry away, King of Order!”

“Aw I thought I got you there” dad laughed and sighed “all these years and I can’t land a single upper handed flirt.”

“10 steps ahead!” Mom said as she walked away “never forget it babe!”

“Mr. Iida, why did you continue to pursue her?” Hoshi asked like a child asking where babies come from “she was clearly out of your league in so many ways.”

“I was friends with her before we dated, we were so close and she opened up to me about her traumas when I was being nosey” Dad fixed his grip on the basket “and I kept those secrets along with other secrets. We had a deep trust and a different kind of bond that didn’t cross the line. So love wasn’t too far off and boy was I the stubborn one.”

I love my parent’s dynamic to the point of wanting what they have for each other. That gave me an idea once my dad went upstairs. “Let me show you my favorite home video!” I pull up my parent’s wedding video.

“Look how young your parents are!” Hoshi awed “OH THOSE ARE MY PARENTS!” he yelped as he pointed at a couple in the background “and my mom was pregnant so that means my brother is in there and my older brother was maybe like 2 or 3 at the time.” He sighed “what a lovely wedding, your uncle and aunty really know how to plan a wedding!”

“Right?! But my favorite part is coming up” we watch as the video transitioned from my parents running out of the church to the reception “here, the first dances are my favorite!”

Hoshi watched the dances with awe “Oh! That’s the ballroom move you came up with! This is were you got it from?”

“Yup, it’s my favorite dance move but obviously I need a partner to perform it” I sighed “I really like ballroom dancing but I was really good at ballet that I just stuck with it and didn’t do much ballroom when I was in my private lessons.”

Hoshi stands up and sticks his hand out “You have me, let’s dance together!���

I giggled “I’d be a fool to refuse a dance from you!” I take his hand and we clumsily danced to pass the time. We didn’t notice my parents looking on from the stairs.

“Is that what we looked like?” Tenya whispered “no wonder everyone pushed me to say something.”

“How do you think I felt? It took so much self control not to kiss you” Ita whispered back “but I’m afraid history is going to repeat itself.”

“Oh those poor kids are going drive themselves crazy” Tenya sighed then smiled “but I’d do it all again and fix the last part of 3rd year.”

“I’d just connect the kiss at the dance, get all the weird shit out of the way” Ita slapped Tenya’s ass, startling him “we could’ve skipped the after party and jumped straight into bed with you~”

Tenya turned red from the bold statement “Well, that’d still be one of the best nights of my high school years.”

-Dorm move in day-

Both of my parents decided to come even though I asked them just drop us off at the curb of the dorms. I don’t mind my mom accompanying me, it’s my dad I’m concerned about. He tends to get emotional every time I go through a new phase of life, it’s embarrassing.

“OH HONEY LOOK!” dad pointed at the commons room “they kept the cat tree!”

“Oh shit that means-” mom gasped as she searched for something in the room. Dad joined her in the search.

“Um, who’s the weirdos in the commons room?” asked a passing classmate that stopped to see.

I sighed stressfully “Those weirdos are my parents and I have no idea what they’re looking for.”

“FOUND THEM!” my mom jumped up with a cat in her hands “Tenya look! They’re a chonky wonky.”

We watch as my parents coo and pet the cat “Oh gross they’re baby talking the cat” I take a deep breath “it’s like they’re teenagers!”

“I think it’s cute that they act like they’re still young” Hoshi chuckled “so carefree and madly in love with each other, couple goals.”

Sensei walks out of their quarters and spots my parents “Ugh it’s like I’M in high school again” he rubbed his forehead “get a room! geez and put Clawford down!”

“It’s name is Clawford?!” my mom squealed “so cute ahhhhh! I’m gonna cry!”

“Sensei, can we get the dorms unlocked?” said the classmate “I just remembered what I came out here for heh.”

“OH? They’re locked?” sensei and our classmate walk off.

“Locked? Hmm, I wonder if I can warp in my old room” mom pondered as she put the cat on the cat tree “it’s this first one in this hall.”

“That’s the boys side?” I observed.

“The school did your mom so dirty with the accommodations our first year” my dad explained “she lived among the boys hall, used the shared bathroom with us and did laundry in the shared laundry room until 2nd year” he pointed out the window “then she moved into the proper dorms, right over there with your uncle and aunty.”

“Oh my god TENYA COME!” my mom cried out as she opened the door of her old room. My dad ran in and we followed “they got balconies! do you know how much easier life here could’ve been if we had these!”

I watch my parents geek out again, then I looked at the name plate “Hmm, this isn’t a claimed room.” I turned around to see the other door’s name plate “wanna find your room Hoshi?”

“Sure” they walk with me down the hall “I wonder what happened in these halls when your parents where here!”

“A whole lot of my mom causing chaos” I smirked “dad and his friends told me of her iconic roasts and other quips she said that caused big reactions.”

We find his dorm and called my mom over to open it from the inside “Oh this was Shoji’s room!” she reminisced before warping in and opening the door “I wonder what happened to him after that huge fight in Chiyoda a few years back.”

“He’s alive and well but he’s not in hero work” dad answered “but it has been a while since I last spoke to them, maybe we should pay him a visit soon.” 

“Well in any case, Lets get your things from the van Hoshi” mom said as she held her hand out “I’ll warp us there.”

I watch them warp out, then turned to dad “Which one was your room?”

“It was the dorm closest to the shared bathroom” he chopped to the room down the hall “or if you’re everyone else in the class, 5 doors down from the love of my life.”

“Oof that type of classmates” I laughed then I thought about what my mom said about their old classmate “Hey, are you in constant contact with your old classmates? I know the ones that come by the house and invite us to their events, but what about the others?”

“Well, as much as I wanted all of us to stay together like we used to” he fixed his glasses and sighed sadly “I haven’t seen our good friend Aoyama for 10 years, just the occasional video and card. Sato is another good friend that I know is well but runs a business and does hero work, so no time to socialize. Oh and sweet Hagakure, she’s a mystery in itself! Haven’t seen her since I married your mom! Kota travels all over the world lending his voice to help all sorts of animals, not that he talked much to humans anyways. Asui is too wrapped up raising a whole pond of kids nowadays. And I think that’s all of them.”

“Oh that’s not that many” I counted them on my hands “then your class was bigger than mine!”

“Yes but also technically your mom didn’t count in the official count in our hero class” he said as she warped in with all of Hoshi’s boxes “I was just talking about you! And the classmates we haven’t seen in ages.”

“I’m seriously missing Aoyama!” my mom reminisced “my eyes hurt every-time I look at him but I’ll be damned if he didn’t appreciate a good flashy piece!” she turned to me “Okay, your turn to settle in! I saw more people roll up.”

“Oh shit okay!” I refocused on moving in “see you later Hoshi!” Later found my room on the next floor up and took more time than I thought getting things laid out. I walk out to my balcony and see what I can put to occupy the space I didn’t plan for. Then my attention was shifted by the loud muffled music coming from the other dorm building. Mom said that intel students party hard because school rules don’t apply to them, she also said that not to crash their parties or I’m going to get my ass beat. I believe her so I’ll keep my distance. Then I looked at the balcony below me, I wonder who’s my next floor neighbor? I cut a piece from my practice muslin bolt to make a rope ladder and made my decent. I took a good look and it was Hoshi! I jumped onto their balcony and knocked on their sliding door.

“Knock Knock neighbor! May I borrow a cup of sugar?”

“What the? Lili?!” Hoshi opened the door “is this allowed?”

“What’s sensei gonna do? Oooh! I’m soooo scared to get a sticky ball on me!” I sarcastically acted out as I walked in his room “but dang your room looks so lively! I like where you moved your bed.”

“Thanks! I was just organizing my closet” he pointed to his empty boxes “I’m trying to figure out what to do with these.”

“Save them for move out?” I suggested as I was looking at his desk and a picture caught my attention “hey, who’s that in the picture?”

He looked at what I was pointing at “Hm? Oh! That’s my mom” he picked up the picture to show me “This is my favorite candid of her, I keep her around when I need a little pick me up.”

“You look so much like her” I pointed out “the same icy hair, light blue eyes and smile.” I then remembered something from when we were leaving Hoshi’s house “hey, um who’s Hime? If you don’t mind me asking.”

The smile disappeared from Hoshi’s face “Um, well that’s my...my old name.”

His tone made me realize that it was a sensitive topic “Oh, OH! I’m sorry if I hit a nerve! I didn’t-”

“It’s okay! You didn’t know and I’m comfortable enough to talk about it” he took a deep breath “I was born Hime Togata and I was raised like how I was named, like a princess, dresses in all sorts of colors and dollies. I wasn’t bratty or anything but my family spoiled me because I was the only girl but I wanted the attention of my mom.” his smile came back “I only wanted to wear those dresses and play princess with my mom because she was the loveliest person to be around. She taught me all about being good and how to be a better person to others. Imagine my poor little heart when she died, I felt like I lost my best friend and I didn’t want to wear the dresses anymore because it hurt too much. I didn’t want to play princess or smile anymore because my reason to do so was gone” he wiped his tears “then I showed signs of my quirk and my dad was extra obsessive of me and put me right to training. I didn’t want to do that either! I didn’t want to be hero or my dad’s prodigy child, I just wanted to have somebody to make me feel happy again and for things to make sense.” He turned to me “then I met you, when you played with me, that was the first time I smiled in a long time. You were different and so sure about who you wanted to be, I wanted to be like that and it gave me the courage to make my wishes come true. Things back home were getting worse and worse but I held on to that wish. At 12 years old, I decided to change my name to Hoshi and made the physical changes to be more masculine. Because it felt comfortable, it felt more like the real me!”

I was straight up crying “Hoshi what the fuck?! Like, I actually love that for you!”

“You’re actually crying!” he laughed and wiped my tears “but I have to thank you for everything. For being yourself, for accepting me, for saving me in more ways than physical.”

He held me so tightly that it knocked the wind out of me, but I welcomed it. I never thought of myself as somebody’s savior but he said it like I was divinity. Theres those warm feelings again, feeling small like a baby in their parent’s arms. How this boy reduced me to such!

“Oi Togata-kun” hollered and knocked one of our classmates, interrupting the moment “can you help us with moving Toei-kun’s furniture?”

“Uh yea! Be right there!” Hoshi broke the hug and refocused “you should probably head up your room, I’ll see you later.”

I climb up the rope ladder to my room and decide to keep it there for quick travel to each-other’s room. As I reach my room, I see all 7 of my female classmates in my room, giving me that look.

“Soooo, where does that rope ladder lead to?” said one of them.

“That’s none of your business” I responded “why are you guys in my room?”

“I was knocking and thought you died so we jumped balconies to see if you were alive” responded a different classmate “then I saw the rope ladder and figured you were busy. Then we all gathered here.”

“Come on Iida-san! We saw you come with Togata-kun” coaxed my classmate “your parents basically treated him like he was part of the family! Just say you two are a thing, we’re supportive of this ship.”

“My parents are just nice people!” I was heavily dismissing these assumptions “plus, well, Hoshi is going through a lot lately with things at home. I kinda don’t want to leave him alone for a while until things are better” I fixed my glasses and sighed “we’re just really good friends.”

“Oh I’m sorry that he’s going through it” winced a classmate “now I kinda feel like an asshole for assuming.”

“It’s all good, you didn’t know” I smiled then my stomach growled real loud “oh wow that was loud hehehe, guess we should figure out dinner?”

We all make our way to the kitchen to see there ain’t no fuckin’ food except dry pasta. Turns out (but to nobody’s surprise) Mineta sensei didn’t get all the arrangements done to get us food. And I did what any girl with my status did... I called my aunty Midnight and told her that I was hungies and there was no food. And that’s how I got whole class pizza for dinner that night.

“Iida-san you shouldn’t just call a pro-hero like that!” scolded the class rep “what would your father say?!”

“My daddy won’t say shit! He knows how I get when I don’t get food first!” I huffed as I was feeling very hangry “if anything he’d do the same thing and personally deliver it to me!”

“Thanks Iida-san! We appreciate your efforts!” cheered the rest of the class.

“See, everyone else isn’t complaining” I crossed my arms “I get things done!”

“Your daddy also got things done” chuckled sensei “he was class rep when I was in high school. Great guy but he’s so dorky!”

“My dad was class rep?” I perked up “I mean it suits him but he’s like me?”

“Yup OH! I can show you!” he pulls up a video on his phone “heres a video from our 2nd year, your mom put my friend on the flag pole by the briefs.”

“...and for the last time, just so it gets through your thick head, NO I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH YOU!” blared the familiar voice of young mom.

“AHHHHhhhhhGUAHHHHH!” cried out the yellow haired boy as an unseen force pulls the back of his underwear that hung on the top of the flag pole.

“ITA! Get him down this instant!” demanded young dad, with the iconic chops.

“You can’t tell me what to do Tenya!” yelled young mom at dad “the boy had it coming! He put his hand on my ass!”

“I don’t care! DON’T WALK AWAY FROM ME!”

“Get bent you square!” young mom retorted as she warped out.

“Dang it! DON’T WORRY DENKI! I’LL GET YOU DOWN!” assured young dad as he made some calls and got him down in a few minutes.

“I still can’t believe he married your mom” sensei shuddered “she’s not a force to be reckoned and had kicked your dad’s ass multiple times! On and off the field.”

“Why do you still have that video sensei?” asked Hoshi, almost too scared to know the answer to that.

“Every-time that girl gets to fighting” he puts his phone away “she makes it into a spectacle and at the time nobody could figure out how to defeat her. So we’d record her fights and study them so we could have an idea on her weak points.”

“Has anybody succeeded?” I asked.

“Nope, she’s too unpredictable and brash” he sighed in defeat “her roasts were too devastating that they would end me instantly without her touching me!”

“I’m suddenly feeling less and less secure on sensei’s abilities to protect us” spoke up on the the girls. And everyone nodded in agreement.

The pizza comes and it looks like my mom paid for it from the receipt notes. I didn’t think much of it but everyone else was.

“What does your mom do for a living?!” asked one of my classmates “I know sensei said that she’s not in hero work but if she’s powerful and tactful PLUS can afford to buy us all pizza on a whim, what or where does she work in?”

“She’s the CEO of RoboDog INC and works as an independent unit with the Emperor’s Coup” I say before taking a bite of my pizza.

“I WAS WONDERING WHY SHE LOOKED SO FAMILIAR!” screamed the classmate that saw her in the commons room “oh my gosh Iida-san! Your mom is one of the most powerful women in the country and she’s just roaming around in public like that?!”

“I mean, she’s just living her best life” I responded before swallowing my bite “my mom taught me that simplicity and hard work is the way to go, she’s humble and gives back to the community.”

“Yup, she’s one of the school’s biggest donors” sensei spoke up “she’s the reason we have a botanical sanctuary garden and why we have a very expansive and stable international student program” he wiped his mouth “oh and a music program, wish we had that when I was a student.”

“Wow your mom really does care” said another classmate in awe “tell her we said thank you!”

All that affirmation made me feel good. It’s way better than being treated coldly at the dance academy. That night I went to sleep feeling much better about my stance in hero school... lets see how tomorrow goes!

-Chapter 6, End-

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