#and oooo boy is it a time capsule

[milarqui]

Scarlet Lady: Syren

Directory | Captain Hardrock

“Nadja Chamack here, flying above Paris. Animals have escaped the zoo and are flooding the streets!” the reporter said, while two large gorillas jumped between roofs behind her, before the camera turned to two people dressed in outfits that hid their identity. “But Chat Noir and the new hero, Marigold, are already on the scene! Scarlet Lady is noticeably absent.”

As the camera kept filming, the two gorillas were led into a trap and fell into a jail.

“They're doing what they can to round the animals up!” Nadja continued.

They just escaped? the three swimmers watching the news from the side of the pool, wondering how that could have happened.

One of them turned to the girl next to him.

“Hey, you think super heroes come from a mega secret training center?!” the boy asked, eager.

The girl smiled and took off her bracelet.

“Dunno. Wanna know my secret?” she said, putting a piece of paper she had already written into the bracelet's capsule.

“Yeah! I love this game!” he replied, and she threw the bracelet into the pool.

The boy dived behind it and quickly grabbed the bracelet before going back and breaking out of the surface. Opening the capsule, he read the note.

“'I'm super in love with a boy who doesn't suspect anything',” he read out loud, while the girl blushed, smiling and hoping he would get it. “Haha! That guy sounds like an idiot!”

He hadn't.

You're not wrong, Ondine thought, wishing she knew what would get through Kim's skull to get it.

Perhaps...

“I'll be more direct,” she muttered, writing down something that even Kim would get –

“AH! Oh no, the movies!”

Shocked, Ondine turned around and saw Kim was already putting on his clothes over his swimming gear.

“I gotta go!” he exclaimed.

“But–! We didn't finish!” Ondine cried out, seeing her chance of finally confessing slipping through her fingers.

“Sorry, the whole class is going and Max bought my ticket!” Kim said as he put on his shirt. “Everyone's going, even Chloé, so I can't make them wait!”

“Kim...” she said. She wanted to say I love you! at the top of her lungs. But the words... they were stuck in her throat. Not just because of how she felt unable to confess.

But also because of who he had mentioned.

Kim turned around and began to run. She had one chance to say it.

“At least take off the swim cap!”

“AH!”

And she blew it.

She watched Kim leave the pool, and she turned back to the note she had wanted to use to confess. A heart, with her prince's name inside, and an 'I love you' underneath.

“I don't understand... she's so mean! But maybe she likes her assertiveness...” she said, trying to understand how Kim could like that girl. “She's vain. Or maybe just girly. And she's arrogant! But I guess that means she's confident.”

She couldn't hold them anymore. She hugged the note, as her tears began to fall off her eyes, unbidden.

“Either way, she's the opposite of me!” she sobbed, as she felt the crushing pain of rejection. Kim may not have actually said he didn't like her... but it was as if he had. “Do you really like that type of girl?!”

----

“I hope Chloé doesn't come, though, she's such a pain,” Kim muttered as he ran for the cinema.

He felt like he had forgot to do something, but he shook his head. Movies awaited!

----

“Oooo, I sense someone having a bad day,” Hawkmoth crowed, delighting in yet again taking advantage of someone's pain. “Sure would be a shame if someone made it 10 times worse.”

Conscience? What was that?

----

The two panthers were prowling the blacktop, looking left and right for possible prey, when the prey landed in front of them. The panthers looked curiously at the almost mouse-like prey, black with yellow stripes, as it crawled away from them, clearly having realized it was in the presence of predators.

The large felines prowled, ready to pounce on the skittering prey. It may be small prey, but it was still prey, and they were feeling quite peckish.

So concentrated they were on the prey, that they didn't notice that it was leading them somewhere like the jail they had escaped earlier that day.

It wasn't until the prey suddenly jumped up, far faster than they could react, that they realized it was not prey, but bait.

And then the doors closed behind them.

----

“They've done it! All the animals are safely captured!”

“Shouldn't you have helped them?”

She was going through the motions now.

“That's grunt work. Not glamerous at all.”

Not like pushing her to act would work at all.

The camera then approached the heroes, who were talking with each other.

“Chat Noir! Do you have a moment?” the reporter asked, and Chat Noir turned around, smiling.

“Uh, sure!”

“Paris has noticed that you seem much more upbeat and approachable! What do you attribute to this change?”

“Oh, that's easy!” And then he pulled a blushing Marigold closer to him. “I have an amazing partner I can rely on!”

“How dare he do an interview without me?! Spots On!”

Yeah, because that is what's important, Tikki sarcastically thought before she became absorbed into the earrings.

----

“Bien Joué!” they said, celebrating their success.

“HEY!”

They looked to the side, where Scar stood, clearly angry. Not that it wasn't uncommon.

“How could you?! Going on TV without me?! You didn't even call! How could you keep this from me?!”

Both heroes sighed.

“Didn't you just say you saw us on TV?” Chat Noir pointed out.

“How many other secrets are you keeping from me?!” Scar shouted, ignoring the question. “I bet you know where the new-bee got her Miraculous!”

“I do, actually.”

Marigold and Scar turned to him.

“WHAT?!”

“Really?” Marigold asked.

“But I'll never tell you, Scar!” Chat Noir replied, sticking his tongue at Scar.

“You mangy cat!” Scar shouted, throwing a temper tantrum, while he and Marigold spoke.

“Hey, was that true?” Marigold asked.

“Honestly, I only know, like, one thing that she doesn't.”

Then Chat Noir's smile turned more predatory.

“But she doesn't know that.”

Marigold felt her respect for him lower just a bit.

“You can be pretty childish when you want to,” she noted.

“S'what happens when you deal with a child.”

----

The silence of the pool was only broken by the sound of his mop as it slid over the tiles. Everyone was gone for the day, and all it rested was to make sure everything was in place for the next day.

Then he looked around, and realized that not everyone was gone. There, at the other side of the pool, was sitting a young girl, still wearing her swimsuit and cap. And, from what he could see... the poor girl was crying.

He swore he could even see the tears dropping down her chin.

He wished he could do something to console the child, but he didn't know her, and he wasn't certain if his intervention would be welcome. He made a note to ask someone at the office to either keep an eye on her or call someone for a relative.

But then he saw something else.

A black butterfly.

In the past months, every Parisian had learned to keep an eye on them. Thanks to Paris' heroes, it was known that they were the means Hawkmoth used to transform people into Akumas – and they always came for people that were sad, or angry, or disturbed enough to attract the villain's attention.

And the butterfly was flying to the young girl.

In the silence that had suddenly fallen in the pool, he began to run. He would be too late to shake the girl off. Given the location, he knew the most likely thing to happen was that this Akuma was going to be water-themed.

He had to run away. Warn someone. Do something.

Even as he made his way to the gates, he kept yelling out about the Akuma.

Even as he ran through the last corridor, he heard the rush of water coming for him. For everyone.

He didn't reach the door in time.

----

Max observed as Kim ran up to him and Alya. He noticed that he still had some gear for swimming, so he could surmise that he hadn't realized the time while he was in the pool. Checking his watch, he looked up to his friend.

“You're 3 minutes and 37 seconds late. But so are Adrien and Marinette.”

“Adrien I get, but Marinette?” Kim asked. Max also could tell that Marinette being late was a bit of an anomaly – save for first hour at collège, she was usually on time everywhere. However, he believed she might have simply lost track of time with one of her projects.

“She probably got caught up in the zoo outbreak,” Alya said, and he admitted that it was a likelier assumption. “Dad was freaking out.”

“I'M HERE!” Marinette shouted, stopping right next to Kim, and panting from exertion. “A-Am I last?”

“Besides Adrien,” Alya replied. “You know what that means.”

The four of them threw their hands into the air and cheered.

“CHLOÉ DIDN'T COME!”

----

Chloé, as was usual of her, was now throwing a tantrum over some little thing or another – which she had had coming, even if she would never be willing to admit it.

“Can you believe those stupid jerks, keeping secrets from their glorious leader, who do that dumb Fools-gold and Alley Cat think they are!?” she complained.

Tikki would have pointed out that she hadn't earned the right to knowing, given how she'd only really help once in a blue moon, but as she knew Chloé wouldn't listen to anything that contradicted her world view, she didn't bother.

Then she took a glance at the clock, and realized the time.

I could remind her she's going to miss the movie, buuuuut...

Yeah, better keep her away from the others. That way only laid madness and potential akumas.

----

The people in front of the Pontoise Swimming Pool were suddenly shocked when water began to filter through the cracks around its gates, flooding the pavement.

That became academic when the doors opened, and a torrent of water began to cover the entire street.

----

Adrien opened the door, entering into Fu's masseuse shop.

“You called me, Master Fu? I can't stay for long,” he said: he was going to be a bit late for the movies, but if this was done soon, he'd be able to catch up with the others.

“Ah, yes, Adrien. I need your assistance,” Fu replied, waving him to the backroom, but he put a hand up when Wayzz and Plagg made to follow. “Kwamis can't know the power of recipes. What if you were captured like Nooroo?”

Wayzz could understand the point, so he didn't complain when Fu closed the door behind him.

Plagg... he was less understanding.

“I'm gonna break his pots,” he announced. Wayzz was quite alarmed about that.

Meanwhile, in the back, Fu was preparing two cauldrons as he spoke with Adrien.

“So, Adrien, are you getting along with Marigold?”

“Yeah, she's great!” he admitted. He wished he could have had her as a partner from the beginning. “Of course, her arrival is making Scar ask a lot of questions. She really hates being out of the loop.”

The two of them looked at each other... and Fu shrugged.

“Well, sucks for her.”

Adrien laughed.

“Right?”

----

Unfortunately, the first test of the power-up potions he had found in the Grimoire was a bust.

And a burp.

“I think it needs more salt,” Wayzz complained after letting out some extra air.

“Aw, too bad,” Adrien admitted, before giving one last look to his watch. “Gotta go!”

“Bye,” Fu replied, just as devastated as Wayzz was.

Fortunately, the cinema they were going to was close, so Adrien didn't have to run much to meet them at the gates.

“I'm coming!” he shouted, and Alya and Marinette – the others had to be inside the cinema – waved at him.

“Hurry!”

As he finally reached them, he panted in exhaustion.

“Sorry, I was–”

“You can explain yourself later!” Alya interrupted, handing him a ticket, but then Marinette saw something.

“AH! We should keep running!” she said, pointing at the water that was quickly covering the street.

“AH!”

----

“Whoa, would you look at that?” Tikki said, pointing at the growing water level, as it filled Paris' streets.

“Gross,” Chloé said.

“It's definitely an Akuma! Let's go, Chloé!”

“Nah, the extras can get their hair wet, not me.”

Tikki rolled her eyes, but then a certain sight at the other side of the room told her this was not going to go Chloé's way.

“Looks like your hair's getting wet either way,” she said, pointing at the seeping water coming from under the door.

“NOOOOO! NOT SEINE WATER! FISH PEE THERE!”

Tikki looked at her with pity. That she would concentrate on that...

----

“WOHOO!”

“KIM!”

Alya wondered what was going through her classmate's mind when he jumped into the water, clothes on, without a care for the temperature. After swimming around for a while, he

“Isn't this great, guys?! C'mon in!” he shouted.

“Kim, no. It's February,” Max, ever the voice of logic, pointed out.

Kim just stuck his tongue at him.

“Bleh, you're no fun.”

Alya would have made a sarcastic comment, but when she saw the fin approaching Kim from behind, it flew out of her mind.

“KIM!”

“KIM, BEHIND YOU!”

Before Kim could react, something grabbed him and pulled him under the water.

“Hup–!” he said in shock before his head was submerged.

For Alya and her classmates, the shock was no lesser: after all, their small class outing had suddenly turned into a 1970s blockbuster, and they didn't even have a boat!

“What grabbed him, did anyone see?!” Alya asked in panic, before she turned to Adrien...

… who wasn't there.

“Ah! Adrien's gone! Marinette, do you know–” Alya said, turning to her best friend...

… who wasn't there. Either.

“Marinette! Everyone's disappearing! What is happening?!”

----

This one's going to be hard to explain... they both thought as they faintly heard Alya's scream.

----

Kim was very thankful for his lung capacity. He was certain that he would have drowned without that.

Fortunately, the cute siren that had pulled him underwater realized that he was running out, and somehow blew a bubble that was larger than his head.

“I found you, Kim! Oh, here, this'll help you breathe!” she said (he didn't pay much attention to the fact that he could somehow understand her even though they were both underwater) and she put the bubble around his head.

----

“Hey there, landlubbers!”

The teens turned in the direction of the voice, and saw Juleka's mother right next to their improvised platform, standing on a very familiar boat.

“The Liberty is here to the rescue!”

“YAAAAAAY!” they all shouted, and quickly they jumped from the top of the cinema to the large boat.

“Luka, you came!” Juleka said, going after her brother.

“Of course! We headed over as soon as the Seine started overflowing,” he replied, before he began to look around. “So, uh... where's Marinette?”

“She went off on her own to get help.”

“Oh.” He sighed, disappointed.

Juleka gave Luka a half-serious glare.

“Gee, thanks for your concern.”

----

Having managed to find a place where she could transform, Marigold began to swim in the direction where Kim had been taken, and saw him in the company of what had to be the Akuma – and she knew this one.

“Wow! I can breathe underwater!” Kim said, from beneath a 'helmet' that was pretty much a large bubble around his head.

“I knew you'd like it!” the akumatized Ondine replied. “And I have even more surprises!”

She had heard enough (and chose not to ponder on how that was possible at all), so she threw her spinning top and hooked the string around Kim's ankle.

And then she pulled him up with her.

“Whoa!”

“Kim!” the Akuma said, before turning her glare to Marigold. “GIVE ME BACK MY PRINCE!”

Marigold felt a shudder.

Please use any other nickname! she mentally begged. She had better things to do than to deal with another Scarlet!

----

“AAAHHH!”

“Marigold!” Chat Noir exclaimed, quickly jumping between the few buildings that had yet to sink, and catching his partner mid-air.

As she coughed out some water, he smiled down at her.

“Bold strategy, but you know bees can't swim!”

“Ha, ha,” she weakly laughed, which he counted as a success.

“HELLOOOO!” It was the usual suspect, and he turned to her, waiting to see what excuse she would make now. “My room is covered in fish water because you're too slow! Would you deal with this already?!”

Chat Noir just looked at Scar for a few seconds, before turning away.

“C'mon, Goldie, I know where to get help.”

“HEY! Don't ignore me!” Scar yelled.

They ignored her.

----

Fu felt lucky that his shop was far enough from the Seine that it wasn't suffering from the sudden flooding, but he knew that could change at any point. Nonetheless, he remained in place: in the current circumstances, the secrets he had divined from the Grimoire would be the only way for the heroes to succeed.

“Master Fu?” Right on cue, Adrien entered the room. “We have a problem.”

“I know. You three can't fight under–”

And when he turned around he saw that not only was Adrien present as Chat Noir... but he had also brought company.

“Ad–! Chat Noir! Why did you bring Marigold?! My identity and location are of the upmost secrecy!” he berated the young man, who looked sheepish.

“Um, well...”

“WHAT?!” Marigold shouted, turning to her partner. “Chat, that's bad! You can't share other people's secrets! What were you thinking?!”

“Yeah, but...” Chat Noir grabbed one of her hands. “You're my friend.”

Marigold lost her worried expression while blushing.

“Awww!”

“Good lord.” Fu palmed his face. In this kind of situation, he slightly regretted having given the Bee to Marinette: clearly, her love for Chat Noir was dulling her wit. He grabbed his tablet and checked the page for the potion that would most help them today. “We'll discuss this later, but for now, unless we can decipher what a 'tear of joy' is, I can't help you fight underwater.”

“But that's easy!” Marigold exclaimed, and he looked at her.

“Easy?!”

“Here: why do you go to bed at night? Because the bed won't come to you!”

It shouldn't have worked. It was a bad joke. But, somehow, that made it hilarious.

“AHAHAHA!” Fu laughed.

“Oh, I get it!” Chat Noir joined in. “Why did the gym close down? It just didn't work out!”

“HAHAHA!” he kept laughing.

“What did the snail yell on the back of a turtle? Woohoo!”

“Stahp!” he begged – and he felt something running down his cheek.

“One 'tear of joy'!” Chat Noir triumphantly exclaimed.

----

The two sidekicks weren't there. There was nothing she could do. And her home was still underwater.

“This is stupid, I wanna go home,” she complained.

“Not yet, Scar!”

She turned to look at the sidekicks – who were suddenly wearing something that looked like one of those fancy diving suits she had seen in movies.

“Ah–! What's with the look?!” she said, seething, before looking away and crossing her arms. “That's it! You backstabbers and your secrets can deal with the Akuma without me!”

A few seconds of silence passed, and suddenly the mangy cat grabbed her under her arms while the new-bee forced her mouth open and pushed the tip of a bottle in.

“We would if we could, now drink the Aqua Potion!” both of them yelled as she (unwillingly) drank the bottle's contents.

“Don't worry about the weird taste, it's probably nothing,” Marigold added with a smirk.

----

The siren brought him to the swimming pool where he and Ondine worked out, and somehow, she had assembled the chair and the noodles so they would look like some kind of throne.

“Wow, the pool looks awesome!” he told the siren, who happily swan around him.

“I knew you'd like it! That's why I tried to confess here!” she replied, showing a bracelet on her left arm. “But you didn't really get it.”

A bracelet – he knew that bracelet! He had hunted it down enough times in this very same pool!

“Wait... Ondine?!”

“Heehee,” she giggled. “Yep!”

And then he made the connection. Max always said he was kinda slow... and he had to admit his friend was right.

“But that means I'm that idiot!” he shouted, realizing belatedly that he had insulted himself earlier.

“Sure are!” Ondine said, lovingly, before she swa, to him and put her hands behind his head. “With a kiss from me, we'll be the same! You'll swim just as fast...”

“Sweet!” he said, closing his eyes as he prepared to get his first kiss –

“Not sweet, Kim!”

“Huh?!” Ondine shouted, turning to see Paris' heroes swimming in the water – and all of them sporting new looks.

“Whoa, you look like fish!” Kim exclaimed. “How'd you do that?!”

----

Elsewhere in Paris, a certain villain looked at the new scene with a glare.

“Not fair,” he complained. No, he was not jealous of how amazing those suits looked. That was slander, and he would sue anyone who claimed so.

----

Scarlet Lady summoned Lucky Charm while Chat Noir kept the Akuma distracted.

“Car keys? Such a cheap model.”

Marigold paid her no mind, going instead for Kim.

“Hey, what set your friend off?” she asked.

“I accidentally blew off her love confession when we were playing Bracelet Secrets,” he said, worried.

“'Bracelet Secrets'?”

“It's a game Ondine invented!”

Marigold looked at the girl, and saw a bracelet on her wrist.

“That must be where the Akuma is!”

“Hey, wanna hear my secret?” Kim said, and Marigold smiled at him.

“You wanna help some superheroes?”

Kim gasped.

“How'd you know?!”

----

Syren looked around. Those blasted heroes had taken her Kim from his throne, before she could make him like her!

“Damn you! How dare you take my Prince!” she shouted in anger.

“Hey! Little mermaid!” one of the heroes shouted back, and when she looked in that direction she saw her Kim without a bubble and shaking his arms. “Your Prince is in trouble!”

“KIM!” Syren screamed, swimming towards him as fast as she could, furious with the 'heroes' for not giving him the air he needed. “How heartless! I'll save you, my Prince!”

As she swan through a car whose doors were open, she realized too late that Chat Noir was approaching.

“AN OPENING!” he said, slamming the car with his baton.

Suddenly, the car's airbag blew, so fast that it hit her in the face and pinned her against the car seat.

“HRGH!” she let out, before losing consciousness.

----

The yo-yo and the baton were ready to pull out the car where the Akuma had been trapped, and now Chat Noir and Scarlet Lady were doing their best to do it.

“Alright, reel her in,” Chat Noir told Scarlet Lady.

“The Cure better dry off my hair,” she complained as she pulled from her yo-yo.

Nearby, Marigold was trying to shake off the water out of her drenched hair, after helping Kim out of the water.

“How you holding up?” she asked.

“Ha!” he laughed. “Max says I'm too dense to let the cold bother me!”

Marigold laughed. It was typical Kim, and kinda adorable as well.

“Actually, I was referring to the fact your friend confessed to you.”

Suddenly, Kim began to blush and covered his mouth.

“Righ. Ondine is in love with me. Wow.”

“Did it just hit you?” she teased, but she couldn't blame him much: all the sequence of events in a rapid succession had probably kept him from reacting to it until he had the time to actually think about it.

The moment Ondine was out of the water, Scarlet Lady cast the Miraculous Cure, which, much to her joy, did dry out her hair – along with the rest of Paris, where the Seine was restored to its normal water level, and those who had been in peril of drowning (or actually had) were returned to their places, in perfect health. Many thanks were given to the heroes for stopping the most dangerous Akuma to appear, so far.

And Ondine... well, it was February, she was in the open, and she was only wearing a swimsuit. Naturally, the poor girl began to shake from the freezing weather.

“Brr! Wha–!” She looked around. The last thing she remembered, she was at the pool, heartbroken over Kim, and now she was atop a building, somewhere close to the river.

“Here, Ondine,” Kim – Kim! - said, taking off his sweatshirt and putting it around her shoulders. “I'll take you back to the pool!”

“Kim?”

What had just happened to her?

And the heroes were here, too!

“You know, me and Marigold can get you there faster,” Chat Noir said – impishly, she thought – while Marigold gave them a knowing smirk.

Kim proceeded to grab her in a bridal carry, and glared at the heroes.

“I said I'm taking her! I'm not sharing!” he yelled.

She blushed. She wasn't sure what was going on.

But she was in Kim's arms. She could handle not knowing... particularly if she could milk it for a little more.

----

With Kim and Ondine returning to the pool – so the girl could warm up in the heated water and retrieve her belongings – Scar turned to face them.

“Okay, sidekicks, fess up already!”

“Whaddya mean?” Chat Noir replied, him and Marigold the perfect picture of innocence, as Scar's earrings began to beep.

“First Bumbling Bee shows up, then you keep having secret meetings, and now the mermaid drink?! Answers! NOW!”

“The answer is it's none of your business!” Chat Noir happily fired back. “And you might want to leave before you lose the only secret you have.”

Scar's fuming face was amazing.

----

Back at Fu's place, the Guardian looked to be quite cross with them both, particularly the Black Cat Hero.

“That was very foolish, Chat Noir.”

“I'm sorry.”

“I should hope you show more respect for other people's trust in the future,” he warned him.

“Yessir.”

Fu sighed.

“But what's done is done. I'll begin training both of you, so long as you don't come at the same time.”

Chat Noir and Marigold happily looked at each other. They would be able to learn more to help stop Hawkmoth!

“On to good news,” Fu continued, showing several pipettes, each full of a liquid of different colors. “I've unlocked even more recipes and powers. You can change the container to suit your Kwami so long as the potion is present.”

As she looked at the potions, Marigold had a horrifying feeling.

But that means I'll be eating chili peppers!

----

“The dried centipedes go on the top shelf, Adrien,” Fu stated, drinking his tea.

“Yessir,” Adrien wearily replied. Reorganizing the entire pantry was a lot more tiring than he had envisoned it to be.

----

Marinette watched the pink chili pepper with apprehension. She really, really, didn't want to do it. But she had to – she had to train for when it was needed!

She began to put it in her mouth –

“You don't have to eat those for me, My Queen,” Pollen gently explained.

“Ah. Oh.”

THANK GOODNESS!

----

In the depths of his secret lair, he had one question to make.

“Nooroo, how can I obtain more powers?”

“What do you mean, Master?” the Kwami of Transmission asked, unsure of what Gabriel meant.

“Don't take me for an idiot! The heroes had new powers, how did they do it?!”

“K-Kwamis don't know the recipes! And only Guardians can read the Grimoire,” Nooroo replied.

“I must find this guardian at all costs,” he declared. No, he wasn't imagining himself wearing a finned version of his Hawkmoth costume, that was slander.

----

Dark Cupid

@zoe-oneesama Gabriel's alternate costume should be green.

@msweebyness What's your opinion? You were really looking forward to this.

Alright, that's Ondine's Akumatization out of the way. Soon, it'll be Kim's turn. Don't forget that Chloé's stellar reception of what she sowed!

[khargaotte]

craft asks! 💚 🌿🌼💖please :)

Thanks so much for asking 🧡🧡

💚 How long have you been crafting and how did you get started?

I can't remember precisely how old I was, but my mom taught me the basis of knitting when I was a kid, like... 5-6? something like that? I made one scarf for my teddy bear, it was this horror that I found when clearing out stuff in my room (I'm still fond of it though because it's the first thing i ever made!)

then I didn't really do anything for many years apart from attempting (and giving up on) small sewing projects every now and then (I also had a subscription to a W.I.T.C.H. arts and crafts box at some point it was fun). Then I started knitting again for real in 2015 when I moved to Paris and thought I would knit in the subway (which i never did bc not practical), and picked up sewing around the same time to try fixing holes in my pants!

🌿 What tips would you give a beginner? What is something you wish you had know when you started?

Tips for beginners (mostly focusing on knitting): don't be afraid of "complex" patterns! There's only really 6 things to know: how to start and stop a project, knit, purl, decrease and increase. Everything else is a combination of these six! What makes complex patterns hard is keeping track of things, not the techniques themselves.

Also, I recommend starting with a medium-thick yarn: I often see the super chunky ones advertised as beginner-friendly since they build up fast, but I find that they can be very frustrating bc mistakes are a lot more visible. And very thin yarns are...... A pain in the ass, though the results are worth it in terms of fineness of the work. But medium-thick yarns still build up fast, while being a bit more forgiving with irregularities in tension and stuff!

As for stuff I wish I had known: block your knitting! Knit that tension sample AND block it!! Press your seams!!! These are all steps that are so annoying to do but will yield results that just look so dang nice compared to what they will be if you skip these steps.

🌼 Do you have a project (current or a past one) you want to talk about?

ha i have many it's hard to chose

I'm still riding the hype of having finished the tapestry needlepoint the other day, like, look at these details!! It's still on the "ongoing/to-do" pile though because I want to turn it into a pillow for the couch but that requires 1/ finding tutorials 2/ buying filler material or a filler pillow 3/ teaching myself how to sew a zipper 4/ gathering materials and, finally, 5/ actually getting round to do it

this project just gave me so much serotonin though because i had done a bit of needlepoint when i was a kid and i liked it a lot (mainly because i'm not creative enough for pretty embroidery, and i don't like cross-stitch, but i love the gesture of embroidering, so needlepoint is the perfect compromise for me!), and then a few years ago i'd stumbled into canevas fatal on social media but couldn't afford their canvases, and i re-discovered them this fall and....... woops, now I have money, and i'm ready and willing to give them a huge chunk of it (i also already have this one that my sister gifted me for Christmas along with the thread to make it and I am 100% using it as an incentive to finish a few ongoing projects before I get to it)

💖 Which one of your creations are you the proudest? Show off!

Once again I have many!!! But: this sock might be the most impressive thing I've done (tho, cf what i said in beginner advice: while visually impressive, it's actually just a matter of following the color pattern!!)

(sidenote i actually hate doing colorwork with knitting, especially in the round, and also this sock is ever so slightly too small for my foot, so I do have a love-hate relationship with this project and have been procrastinating on making the second one for months)(also for the second one i'm reversing the color pattern!)

[dbzebra]

Since no one did an ABCD about Goten, can I ask? I’d love to hear your headcanons on him.

Of course! And hi! Thanks for the follow! I'm the resident Goten stan so I'd love to do this. All my writing is about Teen Goten so these will primarily be about that era but young Goten gets mentions too.

@dragonballwish you also asked for my boi Goten so im @ ing you here!

I kinda did a few of each oops lmao

Headcanon A:  realistic

Goten is not a ladies man or player in the slightest. He is a total sweetheart, and while he is by far the most "street smart" of the Son family, he's still naive and somewhat shy around girls his age.

He has 0 filter and just blurts out the most wild shit, and cant keep secrets very well. He's flown around in public a lot even as a teen completely forgetting that hes not supposd to lmao.

And last one, Goten opens a martial arts school as an adult. He was in college but dropped out, due to feeling like he was just wasting time and didnt even know what he wanted to do. So Trunks got him a job at Capsule Corp in the meantime to help pay the bills for him and his wifey since they're newlyweds at the time. (He got married right before his 20th birthday)

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Goten is a secretly Saiyaman stan even as a teenager. When he was younger, he was the only one who thought Saiyaman was cool. And he still does! He's loved Power Rangers / Sentai his whole life and still like :OOOO when Gohan dresses up lol. He lowkey wanted to be Saiyaman 3, but wont admit it cause he'd be embarrassed doing any of that in public lmao

Also, Goten collects figures of the World Tournament fighters. He has all of them in his room. His favorites are the one of his dad from the 23rd WT, and the one Trunks had specially made of the two of them as Mighty Mask

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Goten is fucked up from the whole Majin Buu Saga. Meeting Goku only for him to have to leave after only a day, finding out his brother (seemingly) died, an watching his mother get killed in front of his eyes in the span of less than 24 hours at the age of seven, he got clingy to all of them when everything first went back to normally. For months, Goten would wake up thinking they're all dead again and he would be all alone again.

However the thing that affected Goten the worst is being absorbed by Buu. The only people who know this are Trunks, and later his girlfriend Marron.

Goten is haunted by being swallowed by that goo and kept in that bod. He has nightmares of being absorbed again, and Marron being killed or turned to chocolate again. He blames himself for not finishing Buu off as Gotenks and "letting" Buu kill her.

When he goes up against Good Buu in End of Z, despite knowing this Buu is pure good he kinda has a panic attack having to fight him again

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

He had feelings for Marron from a young age, but buried them so deeply he forgot he had them, because he honestly felt he'd somehow screw up. Like Marron, he'd rather just keep things the way they are then end up losing her after a potential break up (spoiler: they dont break up.)

So when Marron finally kisses him for his 16th birthday, (as a "redo" for when she kissed his cheek as kids and he flipped out cause he was convinced he'd get cooties, turn blue and explode), that kiss kinda reawakened those feelings he had. Though this time he realized he couldnt push them away anymore. And didnt want to either.

So TLDR Goten and Marron hook up (what all my fics are about lol, my little rarepair <3), and theres a lightswitch in Goten's mind that makes him want to start training again. He's always liked sparring, but never took it seriously after Buu. But after his first date he realized he had someone he wanted to protect and asked Goku to train him. He eventually learns SSJ2, Instant Transmission, and his goal became to reach SSJ3 on his own and beat his dad in an all out fight.

Also he sometimes takes Marron's hair scrunchie to wear on his wrist for good luck during fights

Sorry this got waaaaaaay longer than I thought lol. Thanks for sending this!

[neo-culture-mafia]

IV. Sorry, My Dear

⚠️⚠️TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️⚠️

The following story contains themes of suicidal thoughts and addiction. Please do not read if you find these themes triggering in any way. Read this post before reading this piece of FICTION

Have you heard the story of the guy,

Who decided not to die?

"Another day at the office...another day in hell." Jae mumbled to himself. The black lettering seemed never ending as he moved page after page.

Everyone was long gone and he was left with his thoughts that reflected the current state of his desk: scattered and full on unwanted words.

"Come on, Jae. Let's go get drinks with Boss." Jae had mimicked the voices of the other associates that worked in the office today. "No. I'm good. Got to finish this work. Beep-boop-boop." He moved his arms in a robot-like fashion.

"Look at me. Working me life away. Jaehyun. That's my name." He moved the papers in random places. This would be Jae's 4th breakdown this week where he needed to tell himself to hold on until tomorrow.

Johnnny looked on in concern from behind the entrance wall. "No good, Jaehyun. Don't wear it out." Jae's hands waves over his head in a dramatic fashion as he pushed himself around in his wheeled office chair.

It wasn't until Johnny saw Jae's hands form into a gun shape that he intervened in the middle of his best friend's scary emotional outburst.

"Jae! There you are!" He rushed over and punched his friend's arm. The look in Jaehyun's eyes made Johnny uneasy. It looked like he had been caught which made him break more. "You almost finished? I wanted to catch a movie with you and maybe have a hangout night," Jae was taken aback by the energy outburst at 2 am.

He could only look at Johnny's excited face from where he sat in his chair, strands of hair obstructing only pieces of his vision. "I got the new Call of Duty and PubG for the console." Johnny's hands rummaged in his pockets till he pulled out his phone, his eyebrows wiggling fiercely. "It's only...2:17. We got all the time in the world."

Johnny picked up Jae's suit jacket that was thrown over the cubicle wall and the younger boy's heavy bag. "I'll drive." Johnny pulled Jae up and turned off his lamp.

They were in the darkness of the office and Jae was still shocked that he was caught before he got worse.

"What do you wanna eat? Steak? McDonald's? Junk food?" Johnny's rambling was tuned out of Jae's mind. He followed the taller man willingly down and out of the office building and to his familiar car.

"Uh...doesn't matter." Was the first thing that came out of Jaehyun's mouth. "Then we'll get everything." Johnny's laugh made Jae's heart swell with hope for the first time in weeks.

'Maybe next time,' he thought, 'I'll hang out with Johnny one last time.'

The car ride was filled with laughter and being in the cold air surrounding the both of them.

Johnny still wonders to this day what would've happened if he didn't walk in the time he did. He had been called to pick up the paperwork from Jae's desk but was met with a sad reality.

Jaehyun wanted to escape reality.

Just kill me in my sleep,

Smother me with pillows and kindness, in which I have never seen

This was it...this was the day. He's written the letters and found a place to go calmly. He was in a euphoric sense that nothing really mattered anymore.

He had been on cloud 9 all week as he's happily been overworked and no one ever asked how he had been doing.

Right now, he was just driving. Driving to take in his home city one last time.

The sun was setting when he came to Han River Park. The clusters of happy people congregated in small bursts of happiness and 'its okay' and 'everything will be alright's.

He parked and stood at the grass's edge. He took deep breaths as the air swept across his body calmly. "Everything is so beautiful." He whispered to himself as he watched the birds dance across the water with such grace.

The lump in his throat that made it home was beginning to ache. Yet, he swallowed his pride and continued looking over the people who would continue their own story's even after his had reached the end. The credits would roll and everyone would walk away from the theater without a second thought.

"I mean. I get that's it's pretty. But I haven't seen someone cry at the scenery since my last romance movie." He was snapped out of reality to see a girl standing next to him.

"Excuse me?" Was all he could manage to get out.

You chuckled, sticking your hand out. "Y/n." You introduced yourself and he was trying to not shake your hand, look the other way, and leave without another word being exchanged.

"Jaehyun." His actions spoke for him as he reached his hand out to meet yours. Your hand was soft and warm in his. A warmness and calm he hasn't felt in a while.

"I'm gonna go get some ice cream. Wanna come?" You barely knew him and we're asking him to accompany you to a sweet treat. "You don't know me." Jae got defensive, his arms crossing over his chest.

"I could be a murderer and you invited me for ice cream?" His questions had your face turn up. "Well I'm sure that murderers like ice cream too. So let's go." You grabbed his arm and pulled him down the long stretch of concrete. You walked and tried to match your steps with his long strides. Your arm cutely wrapped around his as you walked.

"So tell me about yourself, Mr. Jaehyun."

He figured living was just easier than falling really high

"We need to clean." You whined while rolling around in the vast bed full of messed up sheets and a relaxing Jaehyun. "Not now. I just wanna cuddle." He grabbed your body and held you close.

"No. We've been cuddling all day. We need to clean." You got up and pulling at his hands. "You can clean the closet and I can clean the rest of the room. Then cuddles." You reasoned and he groaned as he got up, giving into your wishes.

"Fine." He automatically sat on the ground and opened your shared closet doors.

"I'll be tidying up around here." You ruffled his hair and kissed the top of his head sweetly. "If you need anything just shout." He called as you exited the room to probably start on the kitchen.

Box after box of paperwork and more paperwork from the last 10 years of working in his like of work.

Your singing could be heard through your house as you comedically sang some of the greatest hits. His laughter broke through the apartment when your own voice shook with laughs.

He came upon some photo books with Polaroids of you and him. The last 2 years had been lived in a heaven like state. He hadn't touched alcohol and drugs like he was earlier in his life...before you changed him.

His physical and mental growth were apparent in the pictures as he flipped through the pages. Your hand drawn hearts and small journal entries under some photos had his heart beating rapidly with joy.

He put the book next to his side to look at later with you. His hand came across an unmarked cardboard photo box that had a thin layer of dust on it.

He jiggled the lid off and was met with envelopes. The letters. His notes to his bosses and his friends apologizing for what he was about to do.

Apologizing for the mess they were going to have to clean up in his apartment and in the office where his files would never be filed. Apologizing for giving up so easily and not serving out the rest of his life like he had sworn. Apologizing for not being strong enough to ask for help when he really tried to make it obvious. Apologizing to whoever had to find him after it was all said and done.

Apologizing for not saying goodbye.

"Hey. Do we have any tile cle- oooo letters. Who are they to?" Your voice had made Jae jump like when Johnny caught him that dark night in the office. Like he was caught doing and thinking stuff he shouldn't be.

"No one. Me. In 50 years. Y'know," he shrugged, tossing them back in the box and throwing them in the closet and standing up quickly, "time capsule thing me and the guys did." He shrugged it off and you could only nod.

"Well that's cool. Can't wait to see how you've grown." Your smile had his own lips mimicking in want. Wanting to have your blissful ignorance of what those letters really were.

"Oh yeah. Do we have any more tile cleaner?" You asked and he lead you out to the closet where he scowered the top shelves in search for the cleaning supply.

"You can have it. For a kiss." He held it above his head. You waste no time in kissing his cheek and pulling on his arm till you grabbed the cleaner and ran. His laughs chased your own as you both wrestled for a while.

Both of you laid on the living room carpet, just enjoying the close presence.

His heart was at peace.

I'm okay,

I'm okay,

I feel a little bit sick

You had began to notice how Jae had been getting more dull. A year had passed since the night you pointed out the letters. It began to go all down hill from there.

He gave you the same love and affection he usually did, but his eyes held no emotion to big events outside. Alcohol had started to replace meals and sleep.

"Jae you need to eat." You laid a hand on his shoulder softly. "I'm actually going to go grab a drink with some of the boys." And like that. He was out of the apartment. Yet, everytime he came stumbling in the front door with a stench that could repel nuclear waste, you nurses him into bed. Setting an aspirin and water next to his head. Most nights didn't wrap up until 4 am when you knew he was home safe.

You slept with your arms wrapped strongly around his body, afraid he would try to get up and leave to drink again without you noticing.

Mornings would be a rough time as you awoke to a sick Jaehyun who couldn't tell left from right. You were there were comforting words and endless services if bet only asked.

His guilt ate at his chest till there was a free falling feeling that would cease when he took his first shot.

He knew he was getting bad again. He knew he needed to get help but everytime he woke up to face an aspirin and a cool glass of water, the guilt made him drink even more the next night.

He sometimes wished you would leave him to make this easier on you. He wished you would fall out of love and go to bed before he got home.

He wished you didn't introduce yourself in the first place.

But have you heard,

The story of the guy who decided not to die?

Jaehyun got clean again. He started being more present in reality and eventually returned to normal. Sometimes he did get carried away with the alcohol but you were there to help him put down the bottle.

He started openly hanging out with his friends in large gatherings where he didn't mind starting the conversation. He got addicted on life again.

You were all out on a big dinner. You and the other women of the mafia men gathered in the social room while Jae and his closest friends talked and joked around in the parlor.

"Want another drink?" Mark asked as he nudged Jae's elbow. "No I'm okay. I hit my limit for the night."

His friends were the most supportive people that he originally thought wouldn't be. Once be reached his limit, they all switched to fruity drinks followed by water. "So I need your guys' help with something." Jae smiled, taking the blue chalk and rubbing it on the worn end of the billiard's stick.

"What's up, dude?" Johnny asked and all the boys tuned into Jaehyun and his request. "I want to propose to y/n." He said and the room automatically erupted in shouts and cheers. "Sssshhhh." He tried to shush everyone. They remembered the presence of the women in the building and quickly shut up.

"Y/n said she wanted a wedding in the flower fields about.." Jae recalled the previous conversation he had with you. "2 hours from here?" He said and Hyuck automatically knew which ones he was talking about. "It's going to have to be a spring wedding!" He said excitedly and grabbing a pad of paper and a pen from his pocket.

"Alright, lover boy, spill." He said knocking all of the pool balls out of the way, "hey we were playing!" Doyoung protested and Hyuck could only write down the location of the fields, "I'm helping our brother get a wife. Go play with your balls somewhere else." He back handed which caused the room to erupt in laughter.

"Okay. Now. I'm going to need time to get the catering. I'm thinking pork," Hyuck rambled writing down the possible ideas, "or is she more of a chicken person?" he continued which caused some of the boys to chuckle at the wedding-excited nature no one knew Hyuck possessed in himself.

"Also I need to find a cake. I would make it myself but we all know that these beautiful hands would be wrinkly by the time I'm done icing cake for 500 people-" "500?!" Jae said loudly which caused Johnny to slap a hand over his younger friends mouth. "Well duh. That's a minimum." Donghyuck shook his head, drawing a picture of what the cake needed to look like. "amateur."

"I need to get the ring first." Jae said quietly and Taeyong piped in. "Don't even worry about it. I'll take you in the morning to the jewler's to pick out the bands and diamonds. Maybe you could get an engagement ring with her birth stone then the real ring with yours and your wedding band could have hers." Taeyong started rambling ideas, Hyuck writing lightning speed on the pad of paper.

"I call doing the gifts!" Mark and Jungwoo said at the same time. "I'm nominating myself as the planner." Hyuck said writing the roles down. "I'll get the tuxes for us." Taeil nominated himself for the job with a smile. "We need to get Yuta and the rest of the boys up here!" Doyoung brought up a good point.

"Yuta will just bring baby supplies. We're not telling him until a day before the ceremony." Hyuck pointed at the boys but was met with a hit upside the head from Johnny.

"I have to find out the color palette. I'll go to Renjun and then I'll go to Jaemin for the fireworks- Jisung will be the flower girl." Donghyuck kept rattling off things he needed to get done.

"Thank you for giving me this job. I won't let you down." He finally said, laying a hand on Jaehyun's shoulder.

"Better not. It need to be perfect for her. Perfection deserves perfection." Jae said and some gagged while other coo'd at his unwithering love you for you.

The chatty hustle didn't cease as Johnny patted on Jaehyun's shoulder. "You okay?" Johnny asked with a smile on his face. Jaehyun couldn't keep the smile off of his own face. "Never better. On cloud 9." He said and Johnny's heart eased from the constant fear of Jae not being here the next day. But he didn't need to worry anymore.

"I actually need to ask you." Jae said finally putting the polished stick down on the table. "Will you be my best man?" Johnny's eyes lit up like fireworks as he brought Jae in for a manly yet friendly hug.

"I'm so proud of you, Jaehyun."

I'm enamored with the thought of seeing angels in the sky singing,

Singing, "Everything's alright."

Jaehyun proposed the next week. You both went out to an amazing and fancy moonlit dinner where you both danced and decided to start this new journey together.

Then two days after the proposal, he relapsed the worst he has ever had. Johnny found him in your guys' apartment and immediately called you and everyone who he thought he could help.

It's now present day and you can only look at Jaehyun with guilt in your eyes.

The funeral was held in the flower fields you both planned to get married in. The day was cold and dark but he had never looked so happy in his final resting place. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you the happiness you craved." You kissed his cheek before the lid was finally closed.

Now the marble had been set in place and you were alone again.

"I'm not mad. I'm jus-just so...so sorry." You wept, reaching out for him.

"I read the letter and can only ask. Why?"

The only things he had left was a damn note with the words, 'Sorry, My Dear' signing off the page as if he deemed it enough. As if his love had a capacity limit.

"I'm sorry you-you thought I was going to leave you if you told me you were so un-unhappy with life." Your stuttering didn't come to a stop as you could only imagine tears streaming down his own cheeks wherever he was in the universe. The feeling of being ashamed sent you reeling down where you had to support yourself on your knees.

The silent sobs hurt your chest as you had this free falling feeling in your chest getting more deeper. It was as if someone was pounding your chest with a drum mallot. Your heart was breaking as you felt a hand on your shoulder. Yet, you knew no one was there.

"You promised me forever." Your voice was shaky as you brushed the stray pieces of grass away from the marble in the ground.

'Jaehyun. Found happiness in where ours couldn't reach.'

"And I promise, Jae. I will love you...forever."

"And I'm so proud of you for making it this far." You whispered, fingers tracing his name on the polished marble for what felt like the millionth time.

You laid on the ground next to his resting place and looked into the vast blue sky where you imagined him reaching down to you; his soft voice that he used to sing you to sleep with carrying you with him to where you both could live happily ever after. You lifted your hands up as the tears came down.

"You did well."

[elisajdb]

Son Family Week: Goten Day

Dreams and Fantasies @sonfamilyweek

 Day: Goten

 Party

  “Are you sure about this?”

 “It’s the perfect plan and the perfect time to do this.”

 Goten wasn’t completely convinced. “Wouldn’t a party make more sense at your house? It’s huge!”

 “Yeah,” Trunks didn’t deny that. His home would be better, but it wasn’t possible. “But my grandparents, my parents and lots of animals and robots are there. There’s always someone home!” Trunks saw doubt on Goten’s face. He didn’t need his friend to back out of this. Trunks put too much planning in for this to not work.

 “Come on, Goten. It’s the perfect time. Gohan has that conference to go to. This is the first time he’s taking Videl and Pan instead of leaving Pan with your parents. That’s three days. All we need to do is get your parents out of the house for one night.” He pulled out the answer from his pocket and waved it at Goten. “And your parents deserve this. When do they ever go out? Do you really want to keep this from them?”

 Goten looked at the white envelope waving before him. Trunks told him it was a trip to an exclusive island resort. It had nightly parties, fireworks and most importantly, food. Lots and lots of food and it was all free.

 “Mom, gets this stuff all the time. These places always give this to rich or famous people for free.”

 “Why free?” Goten asked. “They can afford it.”

 Trunks shook his head chuckling at Goten’s naivete. He had no clue how the real world worked. “Because if they are seen there or talk about it, it brings more people to the resort. You know how rich and famous obsessed this world is. Mr. Satan can promote a sports drink that’s more junk than healthy but millions would buy because of him.”

 That was true. Even Goten didn’t understand why people still believed Mr. Satan beat Cell.

 “All we have to do is convince your Mom. Your Dad will go along with anything your Mom wants to do.”

 That was true, but it didn’t mean Trunks’ plan will work. “Even so, Mom won’t let me be in the house by myself. She’ll send me to Grandpa for the night.”

 “Don’t worry,” Trunks smirked. He thought of that, too. “Leave that to me.”

 ****

 “Are you looking forward to the conference, Gohan?”

 “It’s no different from the other ones,” Gohan commented as he finished his lunch. He meant to talk to his parents about his trip but couldn’t say no when his mother insist he stay for lunch. “The good thing is Pan gets to come with Videl and me. Videl’s already planning places we can all go when my conferences end for each day.”

 “Well, it’s sad Goku and I won’t watch Pan this time but I’m glad Pan gets to go with you.”

 “Food!” Goten cheered as he and Trunks came downstairs.

 “Do you want to stay for lunch, Trunks?” ChiChi asked the young man.

 “No. I gotta get home. Before I go, I have to give you this.” Trunks handed ChiChi an envelope. “Mom wants you to have this.”

 ChiChi opened the envelope. She read the contents. “Wow!”

 Goku looked up from his food. “What is it?”

 “It’s a free trip to those fancy island resorts Bulma talks about. All you can eat, lots of shopping and games. Oooo,” ChiChi pulled out a card. “According to this, there’s over 100,000 zeni on it. She’s giving me spending money? But we have money now.”

 The money card was something Trunks added. Mr. Satan gave the Son Family enough money to live on. Trunks thought it was extra incentive if he gave them that card. “That’s a gift from the escort. Sometimes they give it to Mom to ensure she comes. She rather spend someone else’s money instead of her own.”

 ChiChi frowned as she read more information. “We can only use this on the 17th and it’s only for two.”

 “It’s for you and Goku,” Trunks explained.

 ChiChi placed the contents back in the envelope and handed it back to Trunks. “We can’t use it.”

 “Why not? My Mom wanted you to have it.”

 “Gohan will be gone for the conference on the 16th-18th. This resort is a one-day pass on the 17th.” ChiChi growled irritated. “Why did Bulma give this to you when it’s going to expire in two days? If we had more time, perhaps we could’ve changed the date.”

 Trunks saw ChiChi reaching for her cell phone. If she calls his Mom, his plan will blow up in his face. “It’s my fault!” Trunks blurted. “Mom gave this to me to give you a month ago but I forgot.” Not true. Trunks has been planning this months and always intercepted mail for his mother looking for free things like this. “Please,” he begged ChiChi. “Don’t tell her. She’ll get mad at me.”

 ChiChi pulled back from her phone. “I won’t but Goku and I can’t use this unless we send Goten to spend the night with Grandpa and he’s getting older. It’ll be more like Goten watching him.”

 “Why can’t I stay home by myself?” asked Goten. “I’m sixteen. I’m old enough to stay home alone for a night.”

 “Goten,” ChiChi said kindly, “you’re sixteen but you’re not ready.”

 “Why not?” Goten’s voice raised at the rejection. “I’m not a baby. I can be home by myself for one night. Gohan did it.”

 “No one’s calling you a baby, Goten and it’s not fair to compare yourself to Gohan. Things were different then. You never had to be by yourself.”

 “I know but I feel like you don’t trust me or you think I’m a baby. You and Dad have this great trip from Bulma and you won’t go because you think you have to take care of me.”

 “Oh, Goten,” ChiChi put a hand on her chest. Was her decision so hurtful to Goten that he thought she didn’t trust him? “It’s not like that all. I never thought to make you think---”

 “I know I never went through all the things Gohan did. Some of the stuff you still won’t tell me about but I can do this,” Goten insisted. “I can stay at home for one day. I can hunt fish. I know how to handle those salesmen calls and not answer the door to anyone.”

 “All right,” ChiChi gave in. Maybe she was being too judgmental. “You’re right. You’re sixteen. You should do this. Your brother was playing superhero at your age. If I let him do that, I should be able to let you stay alone for one day.” ChiChi ruffled Goten’s shaggy hair. “Sometimes I see you as my sweet little baby but you’re growing up into a young man. I have to start letting you go.” ChiChi hugged Goten. “Can you forgive me for wanting to keep you as my baby a little longer?”

 Goten wrapped his arms around ChiChi. Trunks grinned at him. It worked! “Sure, Mom.” Goten assured her but felt a lot of guilt for what he just did.

 ****

 Gohan and his family left for his conference and Goku and ChiChi left for their trip as scheduled. Goten received calls from ChiChi and his Grandpa checking on him but Goten assured them everything was under control.

 For a while, it was. Trunks had everything planned out and brought everything they needed. He brought a capsule jacuzzi, sound systems that will have music blaring for miles, games set up outside and lots of food. Trunks thought twenty of his friends from school will be enough but he shut down Goten’s idea of inviting his friends. Most of Goten’s friends came from Gyumao’s village and their parents knew Goku and ChiChi. It was that issue that prevented Trunks from letting Goten invite them.

 “But they’re my friends,” Goten argued.

 “Yeah, and their parents know yours and your Grandpa. It’s a good chance one will let it slip about the party and your family will find out. No,” Trunks shook his head adamant. “Only my friends can come.”

 “But it’s my house,” Goten argued again. “And I don’t know your friends.”

 “So, this can work, we need to invite people who have no ties to your family,” Trunks explained again. “I’ll introduce you to them. Trust me. They’re cool and the girls I have coming are hot and experience.”

 Some of Trunks’ friends were cool and the girls he brought were beautiful. It was fun being around them that Goten thought Trunks was right about not inviting his friends. He was still having fun but after an hour, things went to great to spiraling out of control. More people showed up. Trunks’ friends invited friends of their own and brought amenities to liven up the party more: alcohol and drugs . What started as a group of twenty expanded to a group of nearly one hundred and they were all partying in or outside Goten’s home.

 “I’m in so much trouble,” Goten murmured. Outside boys and girls were soaking or making out in the  jacuzzi. Naked girls were being chased by half naked boys. There were groups of people drinking excessively. One drunken teen vomited in ChiChi’s garden.

 And this was outside!

 Inside was worse. The house was filled with teens dancing, eating and making out. There were a few broken glasses and dishes. Two end tables were broken because teens danced on it. The coffee table was broken because two muscle bound jocks broke it while celebrating an arm-wrestling victory. Upstairs was off limits but of course being teens, they didn’t listen. They broke through the locked doors for their own entertainment.

 Goten was horrified to see groups of people in his parent’s bedroom have a blow job party. He told these strangers to stay downstairs but instead of listening, they broke in his parents’ bedroom and did things only his parents should do in here. Add on to the trust his mother had in him and knowing he broke and the party not turning out how he wanted, it angered Goten to the point he flared into Super Saiyan as he screamed.

 “GET OUT!!!”

 Goten was angry. He was angry at these people for disrespecting him in his home. He was angry he couldn’t invite his friends and he was angry at his best friend Trunk using him.

 Girls sucking on their boyfriends pulled away stunned and frightened at the golden hair teen screaming. Boys pulled up their pants and girls scrambled to their feet as they rushed out to escape the gold menace.

Somewhere in the sea of people was Trunks. Goten promised to find him and tell his friend the party was over. Shockingly, Goten felt Trunks’ Ki in his bedroom. He pushed open the door and found Trunks kissing a girl besides his bed.

 “Trunks, what are you doing in here?! You have a girl in my room before I got a girl in my room!”

 Trunks broke away from the girl startled. “Goten! What the hell are you doing? Why did you turn into a Super Saiyan?”

 “WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM?!”

 “What’s a Super Saiyan?”

 Trunks and Goten looked at the confused pink haired girl that had her tongue down Trunks’ throat moments ago. “Give us a minute.” The girl fixed her clothes, gave Trunks a kiss and flipped off Goten as she brushed past him. “I know it’s wrong to bring her in here but I’m your friend, so I thought it was cool.” Goten’s Ki spiked higher at the explanation. “Goten, could you calm down? I know there’s a lot of people and maybe it’s getting out of hand but we can fix this.”

 The music that blared in and outside of the house since the party started. immediately stopped. It was followed by an angry voice that rocked Goten and Trunks to their core.

 “OUT!! EVERYONE OUT!!! RIGHT NOW!!!”

 “Oh, shit,” Trunks cursed.

 Trunks and Goten could hear the sounds of multiple footsteps leaving his home and the sounds of capsules popping. From his window, Goten and Trunks saw many airships leaving at a frantic pace.

 “GOTEN!!!!”

 “Oh, shit,” Trunks cursed again.

 Goten could feel sick to his stomach at that voice. It was over for him. He will die tonight. Why couldn’t evil Majin Boo come back or some other bad person willing to destroy the planet?

“Don’t make me come up there and get you, Goten!! Get….down…. here… NOW!!!”

 Trunks wiped his forehead. He wasn’t called. He was spared.

 “I know you’re up there, Trunks!! Get down here, too, and don’t you even think of escaping!”

 “Dammit,” Trunks cursed again.

 Goten and Trunks left the room. They slowly walked downstairs ready to die. With the house empty of people, it looked even worse. The sofa had stains of food, alcohol and cigarette marks. Trash littered the floor. There was a stench of smoke and weed in the room. The kitchen was a mess as it was stained with food. In the center stood Gohan, dressed casually, without his glasses, arms crossed and furious!

 Goten witnessed anger from his brother a few times but he had never seen him this angry before. “Big brother, what are you doing here? How did you know?”

 Gohan glared at Trunks. He knew he was the mastermind behind this. “You are definitely Bulma’s kid, Trunks. Your con job on Mom was so bad even Dad noticed.”

 Goku? Trunks couldn’t believe that. “That’s impossible! Your Dad’s—"

 “A lot smarter than you think and he’s known your Mom a lot longer than you. He’s seen this con job before and maybe if Goten didn’t display that temper tantrum he’s old enough to be in the house by himself, Mom would’ve noticed that, too.”

 “If you knew about this, why didn’t you stop us?” Trunks asked. Instead of being scared, he was upset. “Did you set us up?”

 Gohan wanted to laugh. Was Trunks trying to turn this on him? “I understand the need to have parties. I went to a few in college but I didn’t say anything because I thought you two would have it under control. My mistake in trusting you.”

 Goten lowered his head ashamed. He never thought he would lose his brother’s trust.

 Trunks admired Gohan but he didn’t like this scolding from him. “So, what are you gonna do?” he challenged, “Snitch on us?”

 Gohan shook his head. Trunks didn’t behave like the Trunks he knew as a child. It was unfortunate. “I won’t. Mom deserves this break and I won’t have her crush to think she can’t trust her child. We’re gonna fix this.”

 Gohan stepped away from them. He opened a drawer and pulled out ChiChi’s notepad and pen she used when making the grocery list. Goten and Trunks looked curious as Gohan wrote down what was broken in the kitchen. He went to the living room and made list there. Then he traveled to every room in the house writing more things down.

 When he returned, Gohan had a list of two pages. He dug in his pocket and pulled out a capsule. He gave the list to Goten and the capsule to Trunks.

 Trunks read the capsule model number. “This is one of our large airship capsules.”

 “What do you want us to do?” Goten asked as he read the list. He was ready to do anything to earn his brother’s trust again. “You want us to go shopping for all this?  What if they don’t have it?”

 “There’s a storage warehouse in Satan City at 510 Western Ave. It has everything we need. There are duplicates of everything in our house. Every utensil, glass, dinnerplates. Even furniture. It’s all bought and paid for. Don’t worry about the sofa and futons. I broke that in so it doesn’t have a new furniture feel to it. Mom won’t know it’s been replaced. Just get it and get back here as soon as possible.”

 “Hold on.” There’s a story behind this and Trunks wanted to know. “Why do you have duplicates of everything in a warehouse?”

 “Dad still breaks stuff around the house. With all that money Mr. Satan gave us, Dad thought we should get duplicates of everything so Mom would stop getting angry every time he broke something.”

 Goten did remember his Mom being a little frustrated at his Dad for breaking things but that hasn’t happened for….. “You mean this has been---”

 “Going on for years,” Gohan finished. “Yes. You two need to get going. I’m gonna start cleaning up what I can.”

 “Okay but Mom and Dad don’t need a new bed.” Goten pointed to the list. “It’s not broken.”

 “I don’t know all of what went on in Mom and Dad’s room and my nose isn’t as strong as Dad’s but I know something went on in there that shouldn’t have. Dad’s nose will pick it up. You’re getting a new bed and futon.”

 Goten agreed with his brother. He saw what went on and he will take that to his grave. “Dad suspects something but he doesn’t know about the party right, Gohan? You don’t have to tell him.”

 Gohan wished that were true. “I don’t want to but I have to. Mom will want to leave first thing in the morning and I don’t think we’ll be finished covering this mess by then. Dad needs to know so he can stall Mom.”

 Goten accepted that. As long as Mom didn’t know.

 Gohan pointed to the door. “Get going. Mom and Dad will be back tomorrow. We don’t have a lot of time and I have to get back, too. Videl doesn’t know about this.” Gohan squeezed the bridge of his nose as he thought of how to resolve this. “When you two come back, you need to get rid of everything broken and clean this house top to bottom. Make sure the outside is taken care of, too. I’m not needed at tomorrow’s conference but I’ll let Videl think I’m going and come back here and make sure everything is in correct order.”

 “I want to help,” Trunks started, “but I can’t. I have curfew in three hours. I broke it twice and Mom will ground me for the next month if I’m late again.”

 “Then you better get as much done as you can before curfew,” Gohan warned as he approached Trunks. No way will this instigator get out of the mess he help create. “Tomorrow, you’re gonna come back here and help me and Goten clean this mess because if my Mom finds out, after my Mom and your Mom deals with you, you’re gonna have to deal with me. Understand?”

 Trunks swallowed. When Gohan got mad, really mad, he was scary.

 ****

 Goten and Trunks went to the warehouse and brought back everything on Gohan’s list. Trunks went home to meet curfew. This left Goten to spend the rest of the night tossing out the broken furniture and cleaning the house from top to bottom. Trunks returned early the next morning to help. Gohan arrived an hour after Trunks. He inspected in and outside the house for anything Goten (mostly) and Trunks missed in before giving his approval and leaving.  

 Trunks and Goten were in the kitchen eating when Goku and ChiChi teleported two hours later. Both were carrying bags of items from the resort. Goten could see stuffed toys for Pan in one bag. There was another bag filled with clothes and games that looked to be for him.

 “Look at that, ChiChi. The house is in one piece.” Goku squeezed ChiChi lightly. “And you were worried.”

 “I gladly admit to being wrong.” ChiChi looked around her kitchen inspecting everything with a sharp eye. She opened and closed the refrigerator, eyed Goten suspicious before stepping in the living where a lot of damage was done. ChiChi walked around before staring at the sofa, the end tables and coffee table that were replaced. Goten and Trunks exchanged nervous glances. Did they miss a spot? Did ChiChi notice something.

 “Goten!”

 Goten jumped! Did his mother know the furniture were replaced? Gohan inspected everything! He said everything was good.

 ChiChi ran to Goten and threw her arms around him. “Oh, sweetheart. You cleaned the house and shopped for food.”

 Goten laughed nervously. She didn’t notice. He wasn’t going to die today. “I wanted to surprise you. I felt bad about my temper tantrum and---”

 “Ohh!” ChiChi kissed his cheek. “Oh, you’re such a sweet child.”

 “He’s a good kid,” Goku ruffled Goten’s hair. “With a lot of energy. Gohan’s getting so much busier now with his work and family he can’t spar with me as much anymore.” He lightly jabbed Goten’s face. “You’re getting older and slacking off a bit. I think we need to increase our training.” Goku grinned at Goten. “First thing in the morning and after your school lessons are done, we’re gonna train and we’re going to train harder than before.” He jabbed Goten’s face again. “And don’t think I will go easy on you because you’re my son. I know you don’t want that.”

 More training and even harder? They already train four days out of the week. Goten loved it when he was kid but getting older and discovering girls, Goten wasn’t interested in fighting like he used to be. He looked at his mother to bail him out. “Mom?”

 “Oh, I know you can handle it, Goten. You don’t have to ask for my permission. You’ve balanced school and training with your father and you haven’t fallen behind.” ChiChi grabbed a couple bags. “I’m gonna unpack and wrap these gifts for Pan. I can’t wait to show these to her.”

 This left Goku, Goten and Trunks in the room. Trunks looked at father and son. Goten looked frightened at his Dad’s scary smile. He didn’t know what will happen but Trunks knew he should leave. This was Goten’s problem. Not his. “Well, I’m gonna go home. Nice to see you again, Goku.”

 “Bye, Trunks,” Goku kept his eyes on Goten. “Say hey to Vegeta. I haven’t seen him in while but I talked to him this morning. He’s waiting for you.”

 “Shit,” Trunks banged his head against the door. He was a dead man. If Goten’s father was going to increase their training, he could only imagine what his Dad will do to him.

 And then there were two. Goten kept his head bowed. He knew his father wasn’t the yelling type but he felt something was coming.

 “Shall we go?” Goku asked. “Might as well get started.”

 Goten saw his father walking towards the door. Was this it? Was his Dad not going to acknowledge what he did? He knew Mom handles the punishment but this time with Mom not knowing, Goten expected something from his Dad. “Dad, aren’t you mad?”

 “The house is still here and your Mom’s happy. So, no.” He opened the door. “Let’s go.”

 Goten followed his Dad outside. He didn’t understand. The house was a wreck because of his party. He should be punished. “Didn’t Gohan tell you what happened?”

 “He did.”

 And he still wasn’t mad?

 “Listen, Goten. You know I’m not the yelling parent. I trust my kids to do the right thing and when they do wrong, I trust them to fix it. Gohan told me how ashamed you were last night. When he came by this morning, everything was spotless. The house was cleaner than it was when we left.” He put an arm around Goten. “You really felt bad for that party and what happened to the house.”

 “Yeah,” Goten nodded. “I didn’t want to do it but Trunks convinced me and….” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Trunks is my best friend but I shouldn’t listen to him all the time.”

 “That’s true,” Goku agreed. It was something he and ChiChi knew for a while. Goku was glad Goten was starting to see that.

 “I’m really sorry, Dad.” Goten never wanted last night to happen again. “I let you and Mom down.”

 “Nah. You didn’t let us down. You proved to us we did pretty good as parents. You saw you made a mistake and tried to correct it. You didn’t try to get away with it. So, I’m happy.” He winked at Goten. “It’ll be our little secret from Mom.”

 Goten hugged his father. “Thanks, Dad.” His mother’s love and father’s approval meant a lot to Goten. He had that, risked losing it last night and vowed to never let that happen again.  

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 5 (Cont.)

Tsubasa ruminates about her current situation in her Symphogear Brand Safety Capsule of Absolute Dunces.

“aight ive done seen the light lemme at that sweet, sweet taco bell”

Meanwhile, some old ass politicians rumble about Relics.

“im old.”

But they immediately get fucked up in a nasty car accident.

As it turns out, the Americans were waiting to intercept these old crones to steal The Goods.

And holy fuck are they are American. Personally, I feel the writers of Symphogear watched Die Hard and immediately went “these people are fucking animals”. That’s just me, though.

“ooh ouch oh mmm ouchie ouch oooo ouch”

They tear into these people with an almost machine like efficiency.

These people don’t fuck around. There’s a strange surreality around it given that this is honestly pretty accurate to how brutal special operatives can be, but the Japanese accent they have in their English voices is... a bit jarring.

“IM BACK FROM THE MALL, YA’LL”

“oh god she’s back”

“ah, ryoko. as per your lingo, quote, ‘i like your new gucci boots... bitch’ was that good? im not fond at cursing at women unless its a mutual training session”

Genjuro alerts that the Minister of Defense for Japan has just been assassinated.

“shits bad”

Conveniently... Ryoko’s phone was broken. In her defense, it’s 2012. Battery life didn’t have the bragging rights it had now for phone.

“i personally use a razer flip phone. those will never go out of style!”

Ryoko manages to show them the box the Americans were trying to get. Suspiciously...

There’s a bloodstain on it.

So the main struggle right now is that the Bad Guys(tm) want to get their hands on Durandal, which is a completed relic that is hidden away miles underneath the school in the 2nd Division Labs.

This musty, old, shitty sword has immense power. Almost Godlike.

“hey why dont we just use the sword to beat up the bad guys”

The sword was handed from the EU to Japan for Japan to safekeep, and in exchange to forgive some of the loans the EU owed Japan should the EU economy collapse.

How topical.

“i read a lot of beserk and honestly im pretty sure someone beats up the bad guys with that dumb sword”

“listen nerd, we’re not doing that dumb weeb anime shit. we’re taking this sword to a vault to the bottom of parliament.”

“thats right. who needs anime when you’ve got nicholas cage.”

And so, they plotted to deliver this dumb sword tomorrow.

Ryoko logs into Runescape.

Fun fact: Fulcanelli is a reference to this dude, who was a French alchemist whose identity nobody really knows. Alchemy is a concept that will come up during GX that has no relevance whatsoever during these first 2 seasons except in some passerby jargon. This as just a cute thing I wanted to point out.

You know, that’s a pretty sexy sword upon closer examination.

“thats the dark souls of swords”

“ah! a fellow gamer! im glad that you too partake of the souls of darkening. would you like to play a two player match somtime, fellow Gamer?”

“I would genuinely rather eat shit for the rest of my life!”

The scene ends. Alright, where are n-

Oh God we’re back to this bullshit. Okay then.

Miku, reasonably, is upset that her wife is gone for several hours for increasingly sketchy reasons. Much like an estranged wife going to see her “tennis instructor” for “private tennis lessons” in the “safety of their house, which has a tennis court”, Miku is worried that Hibiki is a liar liar, pants on fire.

Nose the size of a wire.

Hibiki, feeling the fear of God, quickly bails this increasingly tense situation.

Miku is suffering, and so am I with this hamfisted writing.

“you didnt even try the cookies i made out of frustration for you. i designed them all after me with increasingly angrier faces”

“im too young for a divorce. fuck, those cookies smelled good”

Hibiki decides to not sweat it anymore, opening a magazine and WHOA WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS I DONT REMEMBER THIS WHEN DID HIBIKI GET HER HANDS ON THIS OH MY GOD

“HELL NO IM MARRIED THE DEVIL CANNOT TEMPT ME”

Hibiki closes it up to reveal the relevant part of this magazine.

This is subtle, but it’s basically a vehicle to explain how things are covered up for Symphogears. Ogawa walks in, talking about how this headline was his doing.

“i wasn’t joking when i said we were literally the NSA”

Hibiki is happy that Tsubasa has been freed from Metaphor Limbo, having escaped the Water Metaphor Dimension back into real life.

“she literally wont stop talking about taco bell and honestly its killing me inside”

“shit ill get her some”

Ogawa does some schpiel about teamwork and asks Hibiki for an idea on what to do with Tsubasas image even though he’s supposed to be the manager and it’s just general prattle.

Everyone gets briefed about the delivery. Ryoko’s soccer mom van sticks out like a sore thumb. Nobody on the Lydian campus asks why there are 5 cars outside the building with men in suits and fucking Hibiki standing there with them why are these children so fucking incurious.

“this feels like the world’s most important weed delivery, but im going to deliver the SHIT out of that weed”

“hibiki please its not weed”

“ALRIGHT FAM LETS DELIVER THE SHIT OUT OF THIS WEED”

Big thick black cars surround Ryoko’s tiny vehicle as they all drive in unison to the drop point.

No fucking around here. The weed must be delivered.

The weed? Secured as shit.

“its not fucking weed it’s a goddamned french sword okay god”

“ROAD’S LOOKIN’ A-OKAY FOR OUR WEEEED DRIIIIIIVE”

PSYCHE, NO IT AINT. ROAD’S CRACKING UP HARD. COMES APART, CAR FUCKING EXPLODES!

“oh my god we seriously arent fucking around here those guys are fucking dead”

“bruh you never delivered weed before? that shit happens all the time”

“anyway grab on to something ‘cause we’re gonna initial d this shit”

“i thought we were delivering WEED not SUSHI”

“WEED... SUSHI... IT’S ALL FUCKING METAPHORS, HIBIKI. AND WE’RE GONNA DELIVER EM!”

“now ORDER UP, MOTHERFUCKER”

Every car is destroyed.

Ryoko flips the car like nobody’s business.

“ryoko! the kansai drift was too strong!”

“your delivery’s late, pal. that’s gonna have to come out of your tip.”

“jokes on you! you already paid the tip beforehand online!”

“oh, we’re going with pizza jokes now? is that what we’re doing? yeah, sure, whatever”

Unfortunately, Chris ordered her pizza with meat, extra crispy.

“FUCK, i cant see anything. now i don’t know if they have the weed- i mean, the sushi- er, the pizza- god i hate all these JOKES”

RYOKO SUMMONS A FUCKING SHIELD OUTTA NOWHERE WHILE HIBIKI’S KNOCKED OUT COLD

“yo hol’ up a moment did this pervert manage to summon a shield”

“are- are you able to fight the noise? are you fucking kidding me? this entire time when literal children were fighting these battles, you literally could have fought back effectively? are we but mere playthings to you? is this really the bullshit im seeing?”

“uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i can only make shields. piss shields, out of piss”

“that is absolute fucking bullshit”

“but i believe it.”

Hibiki has primed her fists and is about to show how much she’s improved combat wise, which is actually a lot.

Nevermind, she tripped again. Turns out, Symphogears fight in heels constantly, which is absolutely fucking horrifying. Hibiki realizes this, and then

FUCKING BREAKS THE HEELS LIKE NOBODY’S BUSINESS.

AND THEN SHE WRECKS SHOP WITHOUT BREAKING A GODDAMN SWEAT

“oh shit how the fuck did she improve this quickly”

The suitcase where the sword is stored opens up. That means it’s activating.

Immediate fear.

“alright bruce lee you mightve mastered a thousand kicks but you better change your gameplan because im about to realign that pretty little face of yours”

“thank god you kicked me. needed you to get closer so i could kick your ass, after all”

The fucking suitcase, I shit you not, pops open immediately with the sword flipping to the sky like a bad Gmod toy as it suddenly stays floating, perfectly still.

“ive officially lost track on what the hell is happening”

The sword just floats there, as a sword does.

“you know how many fried turkeys i can cut open with that bad boy? that shits mine now.”

Chris goes to get it.

“fuck you! im going to slice HONEYBAKED HAMS with that sword!”

Hibiki intercepts it and takes the sword.

Now Hibiki becomes a proud Stand owner, having acquired the power of The World and stopping time at will.

“oooooh holy shit”

Hibiki, now channeling the power of Durandal, feels the raw strength of a completed relic all through her body.

Real spicy stuff running through her veins.

The power unleashing itself into a raw stream of piss skyrocketing into the stratosphere.

“the pizza has been delivered... all according to plan...”

“...she was right. honeybaked ham was the superior meat to slice...”

Hibiki is channeling a power source so ancient, so powerful, that through using her as a conduit, the sword actually finishes itself into its full, completed form.

Holy shit, Hibiki.

Goddamn. That’s a really sexy sword, actually! Pretty nice...

...oh.

You’re not looking so hot, pal...

“why is it that every opponent of mine can literally asspull all this garbage and im stuck here looking like a bad kamen rider villian getting my ass kicked every time. its not fair.”

Ryoko looks extremely hyped for this event. Maybe a little too much so.

“MAN FUCK THIS NONSENSE IM PUTTING AN END TO THE SUPER SENTAI POWERUP”

“O-OH FUCK- uh, i didnt say that. totally swear. you uh, keep doing that. yeah. aha.”

“SLICED...”

“...HONEYBAKED...”

“oh god. oh god. im sorry. im sorry. im so sorry. oh fuck im so sorry. honeybaked ham is better. fuck turkeys. fuck drumlegs. fuck any sort of fried meat. honeybaked ham is better please im begging you dont vore me or slice me in half IM BEGGING YOU OH GOD”

“...HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!”

“ham..... mmmmm... honeybaked ham....”

“WHO YELLED ABOUT HAM? god, im hungry now.”

Hibiki wakes up from it all after passing out, expressing a power of magnitudes unheard of, as if it were all a bad dream.

“YEAH THATS RIGHT WE HAD TO DELIVER THE WEED PIZZA AND I WANTED HAM AND- THE SWORD, YEAH! THE SWORD!”

To her disappointment, amongst this wanton destruction, no ham was found. Ryoko clues her in that Hibiki just single handedly completed a relic, and though the entire place is a mess, the mission wasn’t a complete failure. They’ll just have to return the relic back to base, now the entire location is, conveniently, destroyed.

“yeah yeah. the weed made it. the sushi made it. the pizza made it. what didnt we deliver today?”

“...”

“singing really does make you hungry, huh?”