#and ppl are so pushy ab it too like

[saetoru]

wait so youre telling me yall manually update ur masterlists i thought it just does thay shit on its own?,!/&@?£;#,

how would it do that 😭😭😭😭 no i have to manually type out everything and then copy and paste the link 😭 as u can see that’s why i HATE doing it

[nerves-nebula]

I think if I meet abe when I was younger I think I would have let him SA me

Like let me explain myself like when I was younger I always was painfully aware of my body and how it made grown men feel. I've had multiple men try to SA and groom me but due to the fact that 1. I hate being touched by ppl I don't like 2. I didn't like adults because my mom used to tell me all adults do is lie everytime she or an adult broke a promise they made to me

So because of these quirks about me as a kid, I managed to stop multiple men from grooming irl. For example A lesson teacher I had used to compliment me a lot and I liked him until he started being weird and touching and robbing my thighs and my 8yr old self who was a snitch at heart and knew from the multiple times my mother watched sex scenes of shows in our presence that after thigh scenes comes no no scenes so I went to my mother immediately after that and that teacher got fired and there was this neighbour who used to give me candy and shit( I knew not to take them but I thought I would be safe because he was an old Man and old ppl are always nice in cartoons so why in the world would they not be nice irl) then the bastard tried to invite me into his house and when I said no my mom won't like that he got mad and really pushy about it and would threaten me with no more candy and i got mad at him because of that and reported him to this weird neighborhood watch thing and the guy got a serious talk and used to angrily stare at me from his window for YEARS

But this things happened when I was in like primary school, if I met this creep in like the early days of my highschool years I would have definitely loved him or more of like him, love is a strong word lol. I would have known he was grooming me and how the power dynamics between me and him was AWFUL. I would have been FULLY aware of how bad the relationship is because I did heavy research on stuff like this because a ton of my friends where in awful relationships like this and I always had to be the one to try and talk some sense into them and warn their groomers that I'll report them to the police sending them screenshots as threats and stuff

But even being aware of all of this, if I had any adults give me validation, tell me they cared for me, held me and tell me my feelings and anger were valid during this very depressing period of my life. I would have gladly followed them but the only down side is that I was pretty classist during this period too so if I asked him to buy me these expensive chocolates I really liked and he said he couldn't afford it I definitely would have been rethinking "staying" with him but I feel like if I ever tried to leave him, he would pull the" everyone always leaves me" "I don't know what to do without you" "if you leave me I'll hurt myself" "I have pictures" acts but doing this would have probably made me want to leave more and report him myself😭

I saw this happen to my friends more times than I can count and I got so mad everytime my friends groomers did so. So him saying this would have given me an ICKKK

Oh you get the vibes perfectly. That’s exactly how I designed him to be. Like, so for me, I was terrified of ending up in an abusive relationship from a pretty young age. so I researched it a lot, and my dad was pretty graphic about sexual abuse stuff with me. but honestly if a cool older teen had taken an interest in me I would have fallen over myself for them. Knowing it was a bad idea, knowing it was gonna probably hurt me, because I needed that. I needed anyone to care about me. A cool older teen would have been the best! (Read: easiest for me to admire and feel comfortable around)

Donnie would probably also go with the logic that Abe is ok to date because they’re both teens which means they’re peers. Stubbornly refusing the fact that 19 year olds are an entire different kind of teen.

Also,

the only down side is that I was pretty classist during this period too so if I asked him to buy me these expensive chocolates I really liked and he said he couldn't afford it I definitely would have been rethinking "staying" with him

this is very funny to me, idk why

[thdrama2]

I've been agonized bc I ABd an adopt like... 2 months ago and STILL heard no reply despite OP being on a week ago 😭😭 Two of their other adopts have also had ppl AB and get no response too and I'm frothing bc the design I want is such a dreamie.... It's even weirder bc they HAVE sold a design before, so idk what to think. Not upset at OP or anything I'm just yearning so bad... Tempted to bump my comment but that'd be the second time I bumped it and I'd feel awkward/pushy

.

[luminousdelight]

Multisectional ventpost hhhhh

Okay, the first thing here is rly just, I really dont like being in that friend server im in kinda (yk dori, that one i invited you in once). Theres like- 2 people that kinda ruin it for me completely, like I really wanna get out of it, which like- is kinda awful because thats the only place I really feel like I can stay rn- im too anxious to just suddenly start talking in random servers and irl is obv not an option for me. The reason those ppl r like a problem is just, one of them cant go 2 messages without complaining about either "commies" or "trannies" and is overall just an annoying person with how often they bring this stuff up along with their sentiment, and they sexualize alot its rly uncomfortable. The other one isnt really as annoying but still- it makes me feel uncomfortable being around them kinda, theyre pretty transphobic too but at least they dont mention it on their own. They also think the Andrew Tate getting banned from his socials stuff was unfair because he was just "ironic" so- yeah... (Late edit but theres also someone that cant shut up about how Honkai is better than Genshin and it drives me insane like yeah, maybe, idk, but can you shut up about it sometime maybe actually and not mention it every 10 seconds?? We get it Oh yeah and they did say some pretty trnasphobic stuff as well. At least those 3 are the only ones). I really dont like being there

Another thing is like, I really really hate venting ab the same thing to the same person multiple times because it just feels like- ill be kinda repetitive about it eventually :,D and a sorry for that only works so many times. So I just end up bottling up alot of stuff because im rly afraid to bother ppl too much about it. The same is a bit with these public vents too but- its not that bad there at least, my fear there is rather that all of that falls on deaf ears (or that a person I dont want reading about my struggles ends up reading it, like the ones in the server i mentioned) ;w;

And another thingy vent with that ex-(??? | hopefully not ;w;) friend. I really dont think things happened like they played it out like- idk quite know how to explain it but- theres just alot of things that just wouldnt make sense to me in that case.. I know I keep telling myself I should let go ab this over and over again but I rly cant- I just feel extremely convinced I mustve done smth wrong ;w; and in that case I just end up extremely hoping there might still be a chance to get my feelings reciprocated again if any of this just happened to be a huge misunderstanding. But its also the only part of this I really have any control over by now and this thought process just keeps making me feel more tense and tense the longer this situation goes on i just ghdjghjsdhdfhjs ;A; So I just rly wanna let go just if thats not the case but hsjhdfjhf its so hard qwp I really dont wanna be too pushy with this either, and im also not sure if they might even find out ab these posts and all that, wouldnt rly be that unexpected tho i feel, i kinda hope they will, it would make things alot easier. Please save me from this, im begging --- ;-;

Edit edit!!: Ik my reasoning is a bit nonsensical for this, I was just in complete denial still when its clearly not worth it by any metric, even if they wouldve responded by now

[folkshroom]

I hope this isnt too pushy if u dont post I understand 100% !!! But I got scheduled for a proper psych assessment and possibly one for autism and I dont rlly understand what I should expect if u maybe have any insight I'm just spooked by doctors :(((

👽

ok tbh idk if i’ll have a ton of valuable info but i can talk ab my experience !!

i was misdiagnosed with ADHD at around 13 and was never tested until this past fall, and when i finally got tested, i tested so low for ADHD that they probably wouldn’t have medicated me if they had tested me first (but i got to keep my meds thank goodness).

the test for adhd is probably different than tests for other things but it was split into an auditory test to test your impulsivity, a verbal test w things like memorizing number patterns, doing math word problems spoken aloud to you, and word associations, a timed test where you recreated patterns with shape blocks, and really long multiple choice test that was for a lot of other things too like anxiety depression personality disorders etc!

my therapist was going over the results with me and said that since i tested so low for adhd all things considered w the overlap w autism and adhd, how afab/trans ppl/poc often don’t “test”well for autism/adhd bc the diagnostic criteria is usually based on cis white men and he basically said i likely had autism instead of adhd+a ton of comorbidities

and honeslty that combined w a lot of personal research has led me to comfortably say i’m autistic!

good luck tho!!!!! i hope everything goes well!! and like i mentioned if ur in the category of often overlooked or seen as “not possibly being autistic” bc the criteria is set for cis white men, i do encourage research on ur own time! considering how hard it is for pm any marginalized group to be dx’ed w stuff like that, nobody’s gonna be mad if you self dx! you know yourself best, and as long as you do the proper research, by all means do!

[mischiefmanaged33]

More Than What You See

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Virgil sat down at his desk later than he originally intended. Patton thought it would be a good idea to have a flour fight while the cupcakes were baking and that led to a shower and at least an hour of clean-up. Despite the setback, Virgil couldn’t get mad at his husband; the man just had so much energy and love he had to get it out somehow.

Smiling briefly thinking about the amazing man that somehow became his husband, he turned on his computer and went to his email to start a late night of hard work. He had a side job. He often got jobs from a sharpshooter asking for information about a multitude of people and where they lived. He didn’t like doing it much but it paid well and put a lot less pressure on his and Patton’s bakery doing well. So, he almost every night he corresponded with the man that had the alias Morality with his own fabricated name Anxiety so that some dirty work could get done.

It always struck Virgil as ironic that the other man’s name was Morality when doing his job was almost the opposite of moral, but after getting to know the other person he figured it did fit the man well, getting passionate about a multitude of subjects and what he thought was right and wrong. He began to think of the man as a friend, even taking time just to have some small talk with Morality. They never revealed their real names, that was too much risk, but they often emailed each other even not related to a heist.

Virgil opened the new email from Morality. It contained details about their weekly to monthly target and what kind of information he would need to move forward in making a plan on when to get rid of the person. Virgil started on what he needed to do for the night, starting up all the programs needed for the monotonous task of hacking into a computer he only had very little information on. After setting up, he went to skype and turned the voice modifier on for his mic. He made sure his camera was covered up and hit call on the icon for Morality.

“Hey Anxiety,” came a garbled voice that had quickly came to be the voice of his friend.

“Hey Morality. Anything interesting going on today?” as he asked this, Virgil started working on getting into servers that the target was connected to through a business.

“Nothing much. Had a pretty nice day today.”

“That’s good. Do you have any plans to continue the adoption talk with your partner?”

Morality has divulged to him one day that he was trying to convince his husband that adopting a kid was a good idea. Virgil himself wasn’t sure it was a good idea for someone like Morality to have a kid with all of his risky work. After all, this was the very reason he wouldn’t give into Patton, despite not telling him the whole truth as to why. But, he didn’t want to try and give relationship advice to a family that he didn’t know so he just listened to Morality ramble on and on how he thought a kid was a good idea and what they would do with them and how they would look like among other things.

“I don’t know. He just doesn’t seem excited like I am to have a little one running around. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be.”

Virgil was a bit taken aback at that. It wasn’t often that you could make Morality give up on something, especially not something that seemed so important to him. Virgil paused what he was doing on the terminal and looked directly into the camera, despite knowing the other man couldn’t see him.

“Look Morality. I don’t exactly agree with someone with such a high risk job getting a kid, but I can see how passionate you are about becoming a dad and I think you would be great at it. Maybe try making your husband see how much it means to you and keep asking, eventually he’ll give in I’m sure. Especially with your pleading that fits a puppy even with a voice manipulator.” Virgil went back to typing away after his little speech and smiled, listening to a speechless Morality.

“You really think that would work? I always feel like I’m being pushy and annoying.”

“Of course I think it would work. You’re great at convincing people.”

“Aww thanks Doctor Gloom.”

Virgil immediately thought of his brother saying the same thing to him in front of his husband and Logan, much to his embarrassment. Shrugging it off as a coincidence, Virgil continued to talk with his friend as he slowly but surely worked his was through the job.

After a few hours on skype and some uncovering of information, it was almost time to wrap up.

“Hey Anx, I should go. My husband should be coming to bed soon.”

“Yeah, I just have to finish up some things anyways, go magically fall asleep like ya do.”

“Thanks, talk to you later!”

The call hung up and Virgil did as promised and saved the uncovered information in some files and turned off his computer. He went into his bedroom as quietly as he could, tiptoeing around a sleeping Patton and got dressed for bed then slipped under the covers, ready to sleep.

Hey frens, an update! Don’t get used to it, I’m terrible at updating. Thanks for all the love though! I can’t believe all the people who actually want more.

And now, for the tags:

@immacrazyfangirl @tahiti-island-dream @ibelievewhatsontv @fandoms-winkitywonk @wtf-is-a-side @myownhappilyeverafter @ari334 @cinquefoilelove @band-be-boss-blog @teethietoothies @secretlyanxiouspersona @rptheturk @smilingwiththeworlddestroyed @roman-is-a-gay @chally-wally @serious-ppl-wear-neckties @phlying-squirrel @mirror2thespirit @waddles03 @queer-human-being @cutewarmachine @ravenclawicecream @chaosgaminggirl @emochechirecat @individual-charlie @ab-artist  @llamaavocado @jaylarkson @snowcherri @puccettin @pheo742 @rileys-main-blog-spot

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 7: “So FUCK You Seamus” - Julia

WE DIDNT GO TO TRIBAL YAAAY. Hopefully this means Tom is safe, I was really worried for him if we had to go twice in a row eek.

Now the plan is vote Evan off this round if we have to, then pray for a merge or a new swap or SOMETHING.

New Goal Bootlist:

13th: Evan

12th: (MERGE) Alex C.

11th: Ian

10th: Jason

9th: Caeleb

8th: Mitch

7th: Jones

6th: Mo

5th: Benj

4th: Julia

F3: Me, Tom & Jules

I really am nervous about Julia. She is SO attached to this og tribe war which I think is so not smart!! Also I know she says it's different but I still think throwing this challenge is exactly what Alex C. did to her so its kinda hypocritical yikes!

I'm also praying for Benj, I really want him to survive and make merge HDJDKDKD.

Ugh i hated voting michael but thank goodness it was him and not me oop. If we lose another challenge i am 100% on the chopping block. As the only other person who voted Caeleb instead of Noah im probably going next. Anywho i keep getting reassured that im safe but frankly im just hoping we can win this challenge and make the tribes even again.

why am I feeling bad for Evan? I feel really sorry for him, like he screwed up his game by leaking stuff to JJ and he is VERY pushy, but like... he means well and like, is being treated like JJ which he doesn't deserve.

I wanna like... try and throw him a lifeline, but I don't trust him to either leak stuff or cause problems eek. I'm feeling really worried about Jason & Julia, like I was horrible to JJ in my confessionals which YIKES I FEEL REALLY BAD ABOUT STILL EVEN THOUGH HE ANNOYED ME, but like... I feel like Jason/Ian as a pair and Julia as her confrontational self might be problems in a merge? I think they are a definite sinking ship and one I need to seperate myself from EEK.

I standby that Ian remains a major threat by the way, I've known it since round two, and when I have my chance? I will strike

in other news... I wanna do a eulogy for Michael. Our robbed budva siri brother!

it means I'm the last remaining tumblr survivor newbie from my original tribe which WHEW! Me, Jules, Caeleb and Evan are the only tumblr survivor newbies left in the whole game so we will have to figure that one out.

I think the way I see merge going is Alex C. or someone from the other side being like the merge boot and then it turns on Ian/Jason/Julia. And I will be apart of it, like I'll try and protect Julia, but Ian/Jason are obviously major threats and I have no opposition to them being separated.

This challenge is mcfreaking hard and whew I’m 100% throwing this challenge so we can send Evan out. We managed to win the previous immunity by just a 29 point difference that the hosts claimed that our tribe pulled ahead of in the last minute? Wow me, Ali and Tom did that. And now Michael is gone and I’m fairly confident either Mitch or Benj have the Budva idol. Well if we merge I can possibly rekindle my connection with them? I did talk with almost everyone on OG Budva. Well assuming Mitch still trusts me and he didn’t found out that I was really gonna send him home before Jared went crazy oop

Evan then like gave us this ultimatum. Saying he will not sit out and he will give his all for the challenge. He also added he will be a number for any of us for merge?? I mean that could be just a ploy or not but the point is I don’t trust him! Heck, I’m not comfortable at all talking to him because he’s so direct and likes to pressure you for information. In any case, I’ll do the bare minimum for this challenge. But as for as all 6 of us are concerned if we don’t win immunity Evan’s going. Hopefully!

so um im trying to work with alex on this puzzle but i cant comprehend anything lol. He is talking complete gibberish to me

this game has cracked so many ppl i cant even explain. first madeleine, than jared, than jj, now evan LOL i cant

THE most stressful thing I've ever done was count to 1000. Like LOW FUCKIN KEY that shit had my insides TURNING. I'm proud I made it happen tho.

The idol wasn't there went I made it across the bridge, sad face. First thought was that it was Alex. It's crazy then to think that its one of the other three in OG Durmitor and I haven't caught wind of it yet. hMMMhmMHmm. But also I think that makes these next couple of tribals kinda interesting because if I want to do any real scheming I gotta be REAL nervous about whom I am talking to.

I don’t get why my conscience is screaming at me rn. Probably because I’m still trying to throw this challenge even tho I feel kinda bad about it >.>

If i dont win this challenge im actually dead lol but its ok!!! People wanted me gone from the beginning and it is no shocker that they would want me gone now. Anywhooo so this challenge is like IMPOSSIBLE so ya like rip me :(. Im trying to be productive but all im hearing is crickets.

okay so julia has BECOME WOKE AND WE ARE BACK ON THE JULIA APPRECIATION TRAIN!!

she is FINALLY, FINALLY onto that Ian/Jason are a dangerous duo, which makes me SOOOOO HAPPY going to merge, because I really didn't want to turn on her eek. The dream of a final five of me, Benj, Julia, Jules and Tom is back ON! its happening, I am fully, fully speaking it into existence.

Tonight, the vote will... presumably be Evan again? He just burned so many bridges in leaking to JJ and fighting everyone? I feel like he will just flip away if we try and work anything, it'll be fully FULLY a mess EEEEK.

in other, other news, I miss Benj! Like I'm at this point really loving working with Jules, Tom and Julia, but Benj I MISS HIM! he was my OG sane ally, and I haven't spoken to him in ages, he flipped on Budva and I'm so proud of him KSADFLASF.

Also, I legitimately left my tribe alone for ONE DAY to submit for ONE CHALLENGE, and we borderline don't submit? Like what is this? This is just mess and I'm so ready to swap out. I was also drunk messaging people and I forwarded a message in the tribe chat yesterday which was dumb, about Julia scalping me if I dont throw and I'm SURE somebody saw it. And I accidentally Cortana messaged too, something about 'its all good' that we didn't submit. THIS IS SUCH A MESS.

So... time to just make sure I didn't make a mess and keep an eye AHH. The summary: Julia is woke, Tom saw my drunk cortana messaging, Jules is a legend as always, Benj I miss him, Ian/Jason I'm coming for you, Alex C./Jones/Mo/Caeleb, see you on the other side, Benj I miss you and MITCH YOU TERRIFY ME. and Evan? I love you but its your time (or its mine, we will see JKLADSFA)

This isn't in reference to game Jason I just wanted to talk ab falsettos

It might be my last round but im hoping this blindside pays off. I know im getting MORE votes tonight (surprise surprise) but im hoping alex and jones pull through. They both came up with the idea so i would be bitter if it didnt work. MY only worry is that i havent spoken to alex about the vote at alll im just using blind trust