#and ramblings

[space-boy-who-lives-next-door]

I've gotten back into re-watching shows and ended up re-watching my beautiful man.

A lot of critisims I've seen for the series is that it's toxic and Kiyoi and Hira's relationship isn't healthy and that I have to say to that is "yeah? that's the point.". I was talking to a friend about it because we read bad reviews for multiple series just for a laugh and then I started talking about my beautiful man because it's probably my favourite bl I've watched so far along side with Kabe koji, but I'll keep a rant of that for another time.

Yes, there is a problem with romanticising abuse and toxic dynamics (i'm looking at you dark romance booktok), but portraying those dynamics isn't inherently making it out to be a good thing. Something I feel what some people miss is that we "are" Hira for most of the series. We hear his monologue, we see how he sees, we are in his point of view and Hira is a very unreliable narrator. The part that "romantacises" their relationship is Hira himself. He doesn't see anything wrong with it, because Kiyoi can do no wrong in his eyes.

When I was younger I was a lot like Hira. I didn't obsess over people, but I always viewed myself as not even a speck as worthy as others. I'd be the doormat, I'd do whatever I was asked, I put up with abuse from other people, because they could do no wrong and that's one of the things that drew me in to the series in the first place. If we just follow Hira and are in Hira's POV, we are at a point where it doesn't matter how he's treated as long as he can be around Kiyoi, he can be the king's servant, hell, he'd be happy being a fly on Kiyoi's wall if that meant that he could be around him.

It takes very long for us to get into the mind of Kiyoi, it's only about half way through the series where we learn why he is the way he is. We finally see his POV and see just how much he's hurt because of Hira and we see that more clearly without Hira's rose tinted glasses in the way. Kiyoi acknowledges that Hira is a pretty selfish and entitled guy because he doesn't think twice about what Kiyoi thinks. Hira thinks about what the King feels, but he doesn't think about what Kiyoi feels.

(Also a refreshing aspect of their relationship is that they're both obsessed with each other, but that manifests in different ways.)

As the viewer we know that it's unhealthy and toxic, Kiyoi knows that it's unhealthy and toxic and Hira knows that the countless misunderstandings and Kiyoi's approach to him changing at the drop of a hat hurt him and he knows that he unintentionally hurts Kiyoi, even if he doesn't want to admit or fully acknowlage every single part of it.

One could argue that despite them being so unstable, they end up together and have a happy ending, which can give kind of a "Hey, put up with toxic people, because it might end well", but I personally don't see it that way. Yes, they get a happy end, but they don't arrive there without any struggle. There is a constant push and pull between them. Hira crosses a line and makes Kiyoi angry and they're back multiple steps because neither of them know what to do about it. Kiyoi runs away from problems and getting hurt, while Hira runs straight into those situations if it's with Kiyoi. Still, Hira doesn't go overboard and he doesn't push Kiyoi, he knows when enough is a enough and backs away. Kiyoi has build such a thick wall around himself and is fully willing to stay shallow around people if it means they'll stay. In the process of that, Kiyoi pushes a wedge between Hira and him and then he has to go back and fix it.

Both characters swallow guilt into themselves, but neither talk about it in an attempt not to make the other leave that their communication dies completely. That lack of communication makes them unable to go forward and grow within their relationship. That leads to consequences which damages both of them.

Throughout the series and movie, they grow and learn how to accomidate themselves as to not sabotage their relationship. They get a happy ending, but it came at the cost of relearning to funcion on both parts. They're still two lopsided pillars that heavily lean on each other, but they don't fall apart the second the other does.

My thoughts on the moral of the story is "Just the feeling itself isn't enough to love someone".

[ishayashelton]

Kinda miss asking ppl if they want to be friends like I did at the playground.

[niceness-before-knives]

Doodles while I was watching movies last night~~ Some silly thoughts too.

About Veil (they/he): I think I said it before, but Veil looks uncannily like my Hawke (dark curly hair, freckles, amber eyes, tan skin). So much so I imagine when Varric and them first met, Varric called them Hawke. Veil is like ‘??? That’s a rook???’ Which is where their nickname came from. Veil loves corvids a lot and likes talking with them when they see one. (is also romancing a Crow too, go you Veil).

Veil is also probably the tallest out of everyone? It’s the one factor that keeps the ‘uncannily looking like the Champion’ from being too uncanny. They’re like six four, six five ish? o:

Grew up in the Frostback Mountains in an Avvar hold. Their mother was a trader and brought Veil with her when they were younger so they could see the rest of the world. She always believed like nothing made you appreciate home like coming home after a long trip. When Veil’s magic appeared, they got grounded from the time being until they got a better handle on it. Eventually, they left and joined up with the Wardens. I imagine the Fifth Blight left deep scars on the land and the minds, and Veil wanted to help protect his people if/when the Sixth Blight showed up.

(And given what’s said about the South in Veilguard… 🥲 Veil is Concerned.)

Knows a lot of spirits and gods. Generally, very mild-mannered. Let’s to joke around but isn’t heavily sarcastic (another point against being like Hawke, Varric sighed in relief). The only time he gets annoyed is when people call him Ferelden, and it’s still more pinched. ‘No. That’s wrong, thank you.’ Also doesn’t appreciate when people talk over them about spirits and possession?? Like he knows shit too. It can’t hurt to listen. :/!!

About Velveteen (she/they): Unlike the other three, Velveteen isn’t a revamp of an older OC I made prior to Veilguard so I have less headcanons about them yet. :(

I was debating making them a Lord of Fortune because I had a delightful thought about who their folks could be. But, idk, I do love them as a Crow and having a solid connection to Treviso and Antiva. That’s home to them~ I imagine they were abandoned as a baby, and that’s where the name Velveteen came from. They were wrapped up in some.

Also? Could use Royale from Royale Sea Silk?? Do like but idk. I’ll have to sit on it.

Had an incredibly edgy teenhood while dealing with lots of ugly emotions and intense gender woes, which is when they got their skeleton scars done. Eventually, they accepted themselves and started to dye their white hair pink instead of blood red, changed the gem in their horn to pink spinel and just finally felt at peace with themselves.

Still has the skeleton scars because that’s just a Damn Good Aesthetic, Antiva taught her well, though she added a some heart into it to fully complete it. <3

Very jokey and light-hearted. Also, Very Small for Qunari. :’)! Velveteen is only like six two, six three tops. In game, she’s like a good head shorter than the other Qunari and I love it.

I still have no idea who they’re gonna romance. Bellara is the only maybe I’ve felt so far? I’ll have to see. Velveteen is giving me slight aro vibes. Or maybe it’s poly. 🤔

About Auspex and Exuperia: I haven’t played them as Rooks (yet), but they’re old Tevinter OCs I made back when Trespasser first dropped. c: They’re half-siblings, both belonging to some old Tevinter Noble house. The heads of Risus had an arranged marriage, as you do in Tevinter, but did appreciate each other as friends. They came to agreements as long as they had an heir, they were both free to explore other relationships.

They ended up both falling for the same person tho, an artist they frequently commissioned. Artist was more than okay with that, and it ended in a polycule.

Exuperia is the Risus Heir, and the older of the siblings. She’s outwardly very polite and very aligned with Tevinter politics. Is a mage, probably has a seat of the Magisterium but takes more cares how and when she makes waves. Is a secret viper under her polite smiles.

Auspex is the Risus bastard, and a Soporati to boot. Was very much loved by his family, through Auspex isn’t sure if that would’ve been the case if Exuperia wasn’t around to be the face of Risus. But she is, and he loves her for that. <3 He’s more of a spitfire and a chaos gremlin~~ Very outspoken and snarky, and is more kind than he is nice.

Both siblings are very close, and Auspex acts more as Exuperia’s left hand. I always liked imagining he got sent south for a spell to train with the Templars because Dad and Mom thought it was be safer if Auspex could, you know, stop a mage flat??

Probably a good idea because Auspex gets into a lot of trouble with mages and the Venatori. I also always imagined them as trying to upend Tevinter, so them being apart of the Shadow Dragons would just fit perfectly for them. Exuperia is one of their insiders and Auspex is more an active member.

Kinda want to make a game to play Auspex now. :’l <33 He was the first idea I had for a Rook (before Rook was even a thing), and I wouldn’t have to change much to his original backstory.

Both Veil and Velveteen saved Treviso, so I do want to see the flipside to that. 🤔🤔🤔

Also??? Maybe earlier in life, a mission went very Sideways and Exuperia had to questionably revive Auspex? o: I like neither of them knowing quite what happened, and neither of them want to talk about it. Like what if Auspex got joined with a spirit like Wynne back in Origins? Because I think Disruption would be very fun to play with there. >:)!!

[pixelprofligate]

"youd do numbers on tumblr" girl i am on tumblr and the numbers? 4

[songsofwaterandnight]

No, app on my phone, I don't want to edit it with AI. I don't want to generate with AI. I don't want to ask the AI. I don't want to make AI wallpapers. I don't want to rewrite with AI. I don't want t-

[goldensunset]

idk who needs to hear this but if you have been putting something off bc it doesn't need to be done until the end of the month. we are almost done with the teens we are approaching the big numbers (the twenties). that date shall dawn upon you swiftly and without mercy before you know it. psa for everyone except me i got plany off time

[darlingofdots]

"gay or european" also goes for middle-aged women btw. that lady with short hair no makeup and sneakers isn't a lesbian she's just german

[nickmpreg]

[fleshdyk3]

easily one of my favourite tweets of all time

[graveyarrdshift]

"I'm just a girl", "girl math", "girl dinner", "divine feminine energy", "bimbocore", "clean girl", "girl's girl", "girlfriend brain" SHUT UPPP!!! SHUTT THE FUCKKKK UPPPPPP !!!!

[ryderdire]

Really interesting thing I glimpsed on rednote today

I think We- we’re developing international class consciousness 

[dragonbleps]

survived checking my bank account. i deserve a little treat

[straycollectorenjin]

iris by goo goo dolls really is insane though. I'd give up forever to touch you? you're the closest to heaven I'll ever be? all I can breathe is your life? and I don't want the world to see me cause I don't think they'd understand? when everything's meant to be broken I just want you to know who I am? does anyone hear me.

[bonesandthebees]

let's 😐 with mama

[goldensunset]