#and someone dies a third time
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bmc death game timeloop au /j
#lohst.txt#lara isnt that the minecraft life series smp?#yes. but consider: i like putting the bmc characters in Situations and an eternal death loop is a good concept for a Situation#something about signing up for something you think is all fun and games until the moment of the first death#but its okay because they came back#but then you die a second time#and you are filled with this bloodlust#and someone dies a third time#and this time they dont come back#and then theres only one left#one way or another they are taken from that world only to wake in a new one#and everyone is smiling and hapoy and excited. just like the beginning of the first game#but they dont seem to remember#no one seems to remember but the winner#there are new changes. new challenges#but it always ends the same#a new winner. a new game#and the cycle starts again#from the void
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#hellsing#alutegra#integra hellsing#alucard hellsing#alucard x integra#alucard#hellsing ultimate#wicked#lyrics#its giving hamilton with a comma after dearest#lowkey throwing up everywhere thinking about the third time alc died he died knowing he was cared for#so he didnt cry like previous times where he died alone because this time someone else had already cried on his behalf
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Red Rose Speedway
#paul just posted the third one and I died#so I had to make a collection post#bc they're insane#I recommend looking at these and listening to my love at the same time#wouldn't be surprised if he wanted to get someone's attention with that shoot#“well you can do a nude cover but look what I can do” - goes full on seduction mode#paul mccartney#red rose speedway#1973#the beatles
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i swear my stepdad is so illogical AND stubborn it hurts
#okay so strap in coz this is a wild ride#tl;dr we have been without heat and warm water for years and i mean literal years#because he refuses to pay off some debt he built up with the company#because he feels unfairly treated (let's not get into this. it absolutely makes no sense) by the company#so instead of doing the logical step of growing some balls and admitting he made a mistake and paying off his shit#he's been looking for a new supplier all over but the deal IS#that he's been doing this with a couple of places before and people are hesitant to even make him any offers#and you'd think that learning about THAT at least now he'd be like. idk willing to just pay off his debt and be done with it#but you'd be WRONG#now he's looking to just have our entire heating system replaced for the teeny tiny price of 25000 bucks#mind you his debt isn't even a THIRD of that#and obviously he can't afford those 25000 bucks#so what's his next step now you might wonder?#well good thing you asked. his next step is going off on ME for not paying towards the new heating he wants#and now that that's not working for him guess what he did next?#that's right. he bought shit expensive 'space heaters' that are pretty much just small little boxes that you plug into an outlet#and he swears up and down that they're going to heat up our house (it's negative degrees outside)#(it's obviously not working)#and genuinely. all i can think of is how much money he shoved into trying to macgyver this house into a house with warm water and heating#and how he blew off ten thousands of bucks he got paid when he retired within the span of two weeks#when this debt could have been paid off ten times over by now#so now you might be thinking. okay tiago. why don't you move out#good question you see. my mom is disabled and reliant on someone who cares for her#something that he can't won't and shouldn't do because the last time he sorta kinda tried she almost died and we had to call an ambulance#she wouldn't eat a thing if i weren't there to cook. the house would fall into disrepair if i wouldn't do maintenance all around#i've set up (functioning) heat in some areas she occupies and i've gotten a boiler going so she at least has warm water#i'm paying off their bills to make sure he doesn't skip on paying any others. i'm buying groceries for them because again they wouldn't get#any for themselves#and finally. i've offered to pay off his debt so that we can finally live like normal fucking people do#and guess what. guess WHAT. he just got mad at me for not adding money to that 25000 bucks pool for that new fancy heating he wants
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so. I just got to Maruki’s attempted persuasion of Ren before the deadline and. hey what the fuck. what. what.
Akechi is the sole bargaining chip? Akechi’s life and their continued connection is what Ren wished for?
#that was. so much.#ow???#I have so much to process. but the furious way ren flung that calling card. what what what#my brain is spinning. THAT was ren’s greatest regret and biggest wish?#for akechi to be alive and to start over with him???#I. How devastating must that realization have been for akechi. when did he figure it out? it must have been close to the beginning#the guy who wanted to be loved and needed so badly and now someone does. and he has to reject it because unfortunately#this genuine sentiment has been co-opted by a therapist with a god complex into another cage for him#also. there’s the option to say you’ll accept the reality. you can accept it? actually accept it?! to save akechi. because ren is that upse#what the fuck. what the fuckkgfl#akechi grew so much as a character. seeing his personas fuse and his third awakening made me really happy honestly#but god. he awakens right before he dies??? because he chooses death over letting himself be chained again?? come on atlus that’s just MEAN#and ren just has to. deal with that. lead the team tomorrow. no time for it to even sink in. he didn’t know!!!#how much sleep do you want to bet ren got that night? 👍 haha… ha…#ugh. ow.#the universe really said ‘let’s doom these two sad sobs for no fucking reason. just because’#storyrambles#story plays persona 5#p5r#oh. oh my god. the glove. of course. he wanted their rematch but what that actually meant was#‘please survive. please be alive’#again I reiterate: what the FUCK#edit because I remembered from their rank 10: ‘your wishes became one’#now I know the context is different. but did they not both voice their regrets? did they not both wish to meet again through the glove#and its associated promise? ‘If only we’d met sooner’? ‘I want to keep our promise’???#god. it was mutual wasn’t it? their biggest mutual regret and wish is each other.
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Mysterious Lotus Casebook, Ep. 1, 2, 30, & 40 // Autobiography of Red, Anne Carson
#he died the first time knowing he was out of time. he lived for ten years with every day being another bit of time he couldn’t believe he go#t but still couldn’t truly live with it. and then to meet someone. who cares for you irreparably. who cares for you when you’re trouble or#sick or well or bitter—someone who only wants your time. which is the one thing you don’t have. and you don’t have the heart to tell him.#even to the end. that the thing you resented for ten years. the thing you had no regard for or hope to change. is what you want more than#anything. so you can have it with him. so you can live with him. again. a third life. and you don’t get it#and he won’t understand until you’ve left and then. well. then is a beach and a meeting months too late#mysterious lotus casebook#Anne Carson#parallels#li lianhua#li xiangyi#fang duobing#di feisheng
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finished reading Never Have Your Dog Stuffed, and when i say i need to shake Alan Alda in my teeth like a dog with a new squeaky toy,
#PLEASE.#obsessed with this old man. every new detail crazier than the last#'the *third* time i nearly died on stage was' WHEN I GET YOU !!!#genuinely really touching too. maybe bc i went in already liking him. but mannnnn#when he thought he was gonna die thousands of miles from his family and had someone dictate his last words and they were all just#about how much he loved them. and how good theyd do even when hes gone.#AGH!#also last chapter hahahaaahahfhhfhfhhfhhh [dies]. its about the Life Is Hard But Worth It. its about the There Is No Joy Without Pain#i like him sooooo much sorryryyyryyyyyyy sorry
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Just found out I've missed two more lectures than I thought I did, and since that means I won't be able to follow tomorrows first lecture I'll have to catch up on 5 lectures in total (head in hands) How the fuck do people balance their uni and leasure time without neglecting one or the other. I've still got like two papers I'm supposed to write til the end of the month that I haven't even researched for yet....God help me
#ramblings#MEETING PEOPLE TAKES TIME AS WELL...It's like someone's throwing a third ball for me to juggle with when I can't even do it with two#Urgh I wish the uni I go to wasn't like a 1 1/2h train ride away from where I live...wasting 3h on travelling alone everyday is frustrating#BUT EVEN IF I WANTED TO MOVE THAT WOULD ONLY BE A FOURTH BALL FOR ME TO JUGGLE WITH... I CAN'T DO THAT!!!#OUGHHH DIES ON THE SPOT IN THE FAMILY GUY DEATH POSE#I can't even do the vast majority of my work on the train ride bc nearly everything requires internet...which I do not have on the train#motherfuckers who live over in [redacted] don't know how good they have it#Rent there's expensive as shit too. Like I'd need to work part time if I wanna finance it in any way.#oTL
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head in hands.
#godl..... the fatalis fight#it got to the third phase cos i sos'd but i had died so many times that when someone else joined#and they died the quest ended =') im so fucking sorry LMAO#i didnt know any of the phases so eg i died during the second nova#but that was mainly cos it was timed badly i had just died and was flying back in#and i was flying in the warning for the nova came and i was too far away frm the barricade LMAO.......#i was also unfamiliar with the cone attack so i never anticipated it and kept getting hit by it rip#anyway. lots of things gone wrong sorry clearly experienced player that tried to help#the other things that went wrong aka the reason i kept fainting was. me trying to get on the siege weapons#i was like well that guys got him occupied surely i can blast him. the answer is no#im pretty sure at least twice i got fried while on the ballistae
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meditation 1
#i don't know who i am anymore#and i don't know if it'll work out to set a vision like i did last time#it was slowly working but she got killed again#my first self was killed by abuse#my second self failed to thrive and died#my third self was a bare shell of a coping mechanism#my fourth self lasted a good decade but.......#someone i loved decided they were worth killing just to try and get their way
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thinking about how Luo Fei was too late to save Deng Yan, and he was too late to save Xiao Liu, but he was just in the nick of time to save Lu Fengping.....aaaaAAAAAAHHHHHHH
#third time's the charm for my boy#but also as someone who loves maximum angst i feel like it would've been fun for lfp to stab himself#and then luo fei get there and not leave so lfp lives - after him leaving twice prior. but i'll take this parallel as well#desire catcher#even tho i know deng yan prob would've died regardless of if he stayed or not but still
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Xenoblade 1 is the best game like ever fucking made and it has two of the most dogshit sequels ever fucking made
#meows#remembering just how insulted I felt in 2017 when I preordered the sequel and really really tried to like it#I hadn’t experienced Game I Don’t Like before 2 and it took me like 40 hours to realize I hated it#and that shit at the end is such an INSULT. such an insult#you’re telling me that [redacted] was actually only half of himself the whole time and that 1 and 2 are taking place at the same time???#and that oh actually [expunged] is one of three computers when the first game made no mention of any of that#y’all really went back to say your complete first game actually is only HaLf of the story? that someone like [expunged] is only a third of#the force that ended our planet#y’all went back and hollowed out your existing characters to make room for worse versions of the same characters#AND you play as a dork nerd child who ends the game with three gfs bc this is story#and the gfs do nothing but sacrifice themselves for you like three times and look pretty#but they don’t look pretty to like. normal well adjusted people#they look pretty to the I like questionable art of 17 year olds crowd#and the GALL. the GALL. of changing [expunged]s design in the switch port to try to stitch his afterthought purpose into the old game#while also making him just whiter and whiter until by 3 he’s like fucking light grey#and having him have a canon genderbend that’s just anime waif#who is also fucking white#and giving Klaus’ counterpart a name that has nothing to do with Gnosticism#even though so much other stuff in the first game comes from Gnosticism.#who the FUCK is Galea!!!! her name is fucking Sophia#killing biting maiming#and the gacha system? with bad odds for no reason in a game you’ve already paid for#it’s so fucking messy#it lacks a unified art direction#it’s soulless and even a game like 3 where only HALF of it is 2 flavored can’t beat the original because of the portion of 2 in it#and like what. is it like the two universes reunited after [redacted] died🙃#why did any of this need to exist! why did any of this have to be retconned#x is fine I don’t hate x and I don’t count it as a sequel to Xenoblade 1 bc there’s no#half assed tie back to 1 in x#2 and 3 would have been better as like. tales of games
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/realizes ace and molly have more than a few similarities
me actively trying to roll back that realization in my brain: fuck fuck fuck fuck fUCK FUCK
#I FUCKED UP#they have 'evil' blood they'd rather forget about#their second and third families are more important than a past they don't even remember#died picking a fight they couldn't win to protect someone#not enough fucking screen time because of it 😭#will haunt the narrative (I'm up to the 550s but i've been vaguely spoiled)#queer pirate who's way too cool 4 u#portgas d. ace#one piece#mollymauk tealeaf#critical role#cr2
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So I’m never seeing this band, am I.
#the first time I missed PVRIS we were gridlocked in traffic#the second time my meet and greet pass went to waste because someone died#the third time cancelled due to illness with 20 min notice before the event#I give up! haha
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GRR a lot of my paranoia about my heart health has been coming back lately
#it used to be pretty bad a few years ago and im starting to get there again#its hard for me not to pay attention to my pulse to check that its still working fine because i honestly have a pretty big fear of dying#from a heart attack stroke etc#i can literally remember the day that it became a phobia of mine because in bio class we were reading an exerpt about a womans symptoms#as she was experiencing a stroke and like. i literally freaked myself out about it AS i was reading it i starting panicking#specifically the mention of your left art losing sensation sticks in my mind#a few days ago i read a few comments on a post about people who knew someone who died at their job#and a lot of them were about people who literally just. up and died for no reason. sitting at their desk. THAT freaked me out#cause that seems like a way id die is just out of fucking nowhere thats my luck#anyways im writing this because ive had like 2 borderline panic attacks about it today and i could feel myself freaking out a third time#a minute ago so i startd writing. thumbs up#i know im thinking irrationally but no one who dies of a heart attack expects to die. right. im probably not going to expect#it its going to Happen To me#ive read too many stories about people who either had one themself and survived or talking about someone they knew#where they say they could feel the doom and that something was wrong and etc. so when i start getting nervous it keeps snowballing#immediately into FUCK ITS THE DOOM THIS IS THE BIG ONE#when its literally not
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ohh, it's because this fandom has a dose of motivational texts and photo quotes every time harry gets into stunts, it's like they want to convince themselves that he's going the right way lol
Everyone finds comfort in what they want.
For me it’s humour and snarky comments. The dramatic, apologetic responses are not my thing haha
#ive seen the usual posts taking a new round#like besties… idk what to tell you but a word said 13 years won’t change the fact#your fave is publicly dating the THIRD woman in NINE months#my favourite must be the one that right on time say#‘someone who talks about relationships like this cant be dating a new woman every two months’#AND YET… and yet he proves them wrong#every interaction from harry can be slimy#like tennis player thing lmao#this thing will go away soon and there will be a new one#that’s how this thing goes#I don’t get even mad at the women lol#they probably dont even know he’s gay#this is pure stunt from when it starts to where it finishes#for both of them#it doesn’t matter what those 3/4 loud voices in this fandom say#only to somehow depict harry as a victim#casella di posta numero 32
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