#sick or well or bitter—someone who only wants your time. which is the one thing you don’t have. and you don’t have the heart to tell him.

[rhymaes]

Mysterious Lotus Casebook, Ep. 1, 2, 30, & 40 // Autobiography of Red, Anne Carson

[niningtori]

supermodel | part one

part two

pairing: choi beomgyu x you

summary: after beomgyu ghosts you after three (what you thought were) really successful dates, your close friend asks you if she can date him instead. you, being the pushover you are, say yes. but beomgyu's not done bothering you.

genre: romance, angst, smut (MDNI!!!)

warnings: MDNI!!! cheating (not on you [and it's lowkey justified if you ask me]), unprotected sex (no!), oral (f. receiving), creampie, dacryphilia, praise, degradation, manipulative!beomgyu if you squint (lmk if you catch it lmao), if i missed anything lmk

word count: 6k (ouuu... definitely not 13k i'm sorry anon my love)

notes: ...hi. so, as most of my followers know, i primarily write angst. this is my first time ever posting smut on here and i genuinely don't know if it's any good. if it's bad,,,, i'm sorry in advance!! see ending for more notes :)

you do not like beomgyu. you don't like the way he keeps his hair so long, or the way he tucks it behind his ears when he's focused. you don't like that he has the same music taste as you and how much of a snob he is about it. you don't like the way he laughs obnoxiously loud and you especially don't like the way his cheeks dimple like little whiskers when he does it. no, you don't like beomgyu one bit.

it hasn't always been like this. there was a time, albeit brief and fleeting, that you really liked the aforementioned grievances you've grown to hate so much. in fact, you liked them so much, you even liked the boy himself. that ship has sailed, though. and it sails further and further as you watch him cuddle up even closer to one of your closest friends, hana. you aren't a bitter person, really. you're usually pretty laidback, all things considered, so when hana asked you if she could date the boy who ghosted you after three (what you thought were) really successful dates, you said yes. 

do you regret agreeing? well, how can you regret it when hana looks so happy? in fact, she looks happier than ever as beomgyu discreetly places his hand on her inner thigh. oh man. you think you're gonna be sick.

-

meeting beomgyu was like a meet cute in a romcom. you were alone in a cafe (cliché, but true) when he pulled up a seat and sat next to you. he was cute, he was charming, and, most surprisingly, he was actually really funny. he made you giggle more than once and you almost couldn't believe someone so seemingly perfect wanted anything to do with you, but he did. he was extremely eager, if anything, because as soon as you gave him your number, he texted you asking if you wanted to go out sometime. you, with your innocent heart, could only agree. 

your first date was at that same cafe. he had memorized your order, even though he had only met you once, and you felt so flattered your heart skipped a beat. you're a little on the shyer side, but he was able to pull you out of your shell with ease. you'd later find out he has the ability to do that with everyone, but back then, you were amazed by how naturally he pulled it off.

after your first date, you'd texted all your friends about it. they asked for pictures and details, but you said it was too early and you didn't want to jinx it. you're the type to try not to get too caught up in the moment in favor of being more realistic, so it had been a pleasant surprise for most of your friends to hear how excited you were. this could really be something special, you thought. 

and special, it was. your second date had been at a nice restaurant you'd never heard of. beomgyu was pulling out all the stops for you and spared nothing when it came to giving you the royal treatment. he was courteous and kind, but still mischievously flirty. you were enamored with everything about him. you were used to being treated kindly on dates, of course, but you had never seen anything quite like beomgyu. it seemed like he couldn't get enough of you, which was a novel feeling, though totally welcomed.

you finally felt confident enough to tell your friends all about him. when asked, you had no problem divulging all the finer details of your dates. you had nothing but praises for him, and even sent one of his instagram pictures to show off his good looks. most of them were taken aback at how handsome he was. hana, however, was not at all surprised. it shocked you to find out that she knew beomgyu, and knew him well. she had floated in the same circle of friends with him in college and you were pleased to find out that he had always been a really nice guy, if a little flighty at times, but he had never been that way with you. plus, it seemed to you that he had matured quite a bit. for once in your life, you got your hopes up. but, like most things, you would come to regret it. 

your third and final date had been simple enough. he had asked you to come hang out at his place, but said his friends would likely be coming and going. it was nice. it was intimate. his apartment was small and a little messy, but filled with personality. you smiled when you saw polaroids he had taken of (and with) his friends adorning his bedroom walls. he seemed really sentimental, actually, but you liked that about him. you liked everything about him, really. 

so when he leaned in for a kiss while watching some dumb old slasher flick, you closed your eyes and prepared to meet his warm lips. this was real. you would have a boyfriend, a near perfect one. and he liked you. he really, really liked you. what more could you ask for? but you never expected that a phone call would pull you out of your daze. you checked the caller id and immediately became worried. hana very rarely called you, but she said she was having an emergency and you, being the good friend you are, had to bail on beomgyu. the emergency in question was her having a meltdown over some guy she had never even mentioned, but had apparently really liked. you had no choice but to go to her place, bringing a tub of ice cream and all of her favorite snacks in tow. beomgyu said he understood, because of course he did, and said he would text you with other plans. 

when he, in fact, did not text you first with plans, you had opted to text him yourself. you figured he had just forgotten or something, so you simply greeted him and apologized again for having to leave. it seems so fucking stupid to you now — the way you waited so anxiously by the phone for a reply that would never come. you remember staying up all night and jolting every time your phone buzzed. you were anxiously awaiting a text, a call, fucking  anything, really. but it was pointless. after a few days of radio silence on beomgyu's end, you had pretty much resigned yourself to the fact that he would never respond. what did you do to scare him away? you thought you had done everything right, but you must’ve come on too strong or something. you felt utterly humiliated. 

you were in your head again. it wouldn't surprise you if you had imagined the whole fucking thing, actually. but a few weeks later, hana had texted you asking if you were okay with her dating the boy you'd been waiting for. she seemed so hopeful and so happy, how could you say no? just because it didn't work out between you two didn't mean that it couldn't work out between them. maybe, deep down, the ugliest parts of you kind of hoped it wouldn't, but when she texted you with all the filthy details of the first time they hooked up, you knew you were thinking too highly of yourself. 

-

beomgyu doesn't like you, and even if his refusal to text you back wasn't enough of an indication that that's the case, his attitude towards you while dating hana tells you everything you need to know. the way he manages to antagonize you over what would normally be completely menial things should be studied. when you trip over your words, he makes a point to call it out and laugh, which results in you, of course, tripping over your words even more. when you look like shit, he makes sarcastic comments along the lines of "oh i see you've decided to really doll yourself up this evening". what's worse is you're so non-confrontational, you just let him chirp. 

what you don't know is that the more unbothered you look, the more eager he is to elicit a reaction out of you. it drives him crazy how nothing seems to drive you crazy, so he pushes and pushes, but it's like a fist landing on cotton. he's on the brink of madness trying to get you to say something, anything. but you never do. you just smile or shake your head and it's all he can do not to snap. 

-

you’re at your favorite bar when you meet him. you’re not alone, or at least you shouldn’t be, but hana has gone outside to make a call. usually, you’d be the first one to accompany her, but you’re honestly not in the mood to hear her flirt with beomgyu (or beomie bear, as she calls him) over the phone. you never are, really, but especially not now as you down another shot of whatever the bartender has deemed as “the strongest shit they’ve got.” you don’t think you look particularly attractive at the moment, but when jay sees you, he’s flocking towards you. 

“hey,” he says with a smile as he slides onto the stool next to yours. 

“hey,” you reply shyly. are you imagining things or did he seriously just blush at your answer? 

“i-i’m jay.” you can’t help but giggle at how nervous he seems. cute. 

you take the time to introduce yourself and jay seems relieved that you’re actually receptive to his awkwardness. you like the way it feels to be in control for once. you like the way it feels to be wanted so much. so when he asks you if you want to go out in the near future, you say yes.

in the midst of your conversation, hana comes sauntering back in with a dopey grin on her face. she has, no doubt, just gotten off the phone with beomgyu if her satisfied expression is any indication. her satisfaction turns into surprise when she registers who’s sitting next to you.

“jay?!” she exclaims, taken aback by the familiar boy next to you. 

“hana? oh my god, how are you?” he asks, standing up and pulling her into a hug. “we went to college together,” he explains when they part. your previous happiness crumbles in an instant. the nasty part of you wonders if she knows fucking everybody you’re interested in, but you shut it down mercilessly. it's not hana’s fault she's so likable. it's your fault for not being more so, actually.

“i’m good,” she says with a light giggle. they catch up for a moment before she drops an atomic bomb. “you know, i’m actually with beomgyu now.” 

“damn, really? i thought that would never actually happen,” he replies, genuine shock falling across his sculpted features. your interest can’t help but be piqued at this.

“what makes you say that?” she asks rather defensively. jay can tell he messed up from her tone and he backtracks immediately. 

“o-oh nothing. i just never pegged you two as compatible, but congratulations! i know you’ve liked him for a long time.” ?... ??...???? what the hell? 

“what is he talking about?” you can’t help but ask confusedly. hana looks thoroughly reddened as she fumbles for an explanation.

“i-i liked beomie back in college. n-nothing major!” she stammers. you can do nothing but stare. she liked beomgyu and she never told you? well, you were half in love with the boy after three dates and you’re still half in love with him, actually, so it’s not particularly surprising that she fell for him, but the fact that she never mentioned it feels iffy at best. jay can sense the tension, and he cleverly excuses himself with:

“shit, my friends are here. i’ll text you soon?” he says, looking to you for confirmation. you manage to muster up a smile and a nod, but you’re still disturbed by this revelation.

“... are you mad?” hana asks tentatively. 

“n-no. of course not!” you say with conviction, but deep down, you know you’re uncomfortable. she probably knows it, too, but she doesn’t pry much further.

“i’m glad you’re not mad,” she sighs. “anyway, it’s not like you’re dating him now.” she pokes at the sore spot on your heart with ease. maybe if she were more sober, she’d see the hurt on your face, but as it is, she doesn’t register a thing.

so hana liked beomgyu back in college? why hadn’t she told you? well, you guess it doesn’t make a difference now. she’s with him. you’re not. what else is there to say, really? but in the back of your mind, gears start turning. you just don’t know it yet.

 -

hana has been a lot nicer to you than usual after that night at the bar. she’s always nice, but she seems hellbent on making sure your prospective date with jay goes well. you suppose it’s her way of making it up to you for withholding her secret crush on beomgyu from you. to be honest, there’s no real reason for her to do so, but you accept her kindness graciously. now, the night before your big date, she’s practically hounding you with questions.

“what are you gonna wear?” she asks over the phone. 

“mmm, i dunno yet,” you hum into the speaker. you really don’t know. jay invited you to a house party, which is not the most romantic place in the world, but hana convinced you that he’s just awkward and a group setting (with drinks, no less) would loosen him up. you realize that you want to impress him. you want him to think you’re the most beautiful girl in the room, but nothing you have in your closet quite fits the bill.

“ooh, i know! you can just borrow one of my dresses. what about the black one? the one you complimented last time we went out! i won’t be home tomorrow night, but i’ll leave the key under the mat, okay? so just come grab it when you’re free!” she sounds proud of herself for coming up with that. you don’t have the heart to tell her it’s a little too scandalous for you, so you grit your teeth and accept her peace offering.

“mmm, yeah. that sounds good. thank you, hana,” you reply.

“pay attention to meeee,” you hear a deep voice cut in from over the phone. beomgyu. you try not to think about the way your heart aches when you hear him (very loudly) plant a kiss on… some part of her body. you’re not exactly sure where it is, but you falter when you hear her reaction.

“beomie, ah, not there,” hana moans and you feel a pang in your chest. “hey, i’ve gotta go, okay?” you don’t have to imagine what they’re about to do and it hurts.

“okay,” you say with a bitter smile, but the call drops before you can even reply. 

-

it’s finally the night of the date and you’re anxious, to put it mildly. you don’t know how long you spent trying to get your hair and makeup right, but an ungodly amount of time has passed. you’re almost tempted to skip getting the dress from hana’s apartment, but you really don’t have anything else that suits the occasion, so you begrudgingly hail a cab over to her place. 

you enter her apartment and head toward her bedroom, where the pretty black dress is waiting for you. with a sigh, you strip out of your sweats and shimmy into the dress. you look in hana's bedroom mirror and you have to admit that you look pretty good. you feel a lot more confident going out with a guy as handsome as jay now. as you’re fixing up your hair one last time, you’re stunned to hear the apartment door opening. she’s home? weird, but welcome. you need a second pair of eyes on you.

“hey! how do i look?” you say with a smile as you exit her bedroom, but you’re not greeted with hana’s smiling face. instead, you’re met with beomgyu’s frown. 

“w-what are you doing here?” you ask, genuinely surprised. 

“this is my girlfriend’s apartment. what are you doing here?” you thought he had heard over the phone that you’d be here to pick up the dress tonight. but then, you supposed that he may have been a little preoccupied sucking the skin off of hana to really pay attention to much else. you’re so busy over analyzing this, you don’t even notice how intently beomgyu is staring at you now. even if you did, you’d probably misread it as ridicule rather than what it truly is. 

“nothing, i-i’m on my way out,” you reply simply. with that, you start trying to walk past him. before you can, though, he’s asking you questions.

"you're seriously going out with him? in that, too?” he asks, disgust apparent. at least, that’s what it sounds like to you. your eyes survey your own attire and you feel extremely small in this moment, all things considered. normally, you'd shut down and second guess yourself. maybe you do look a little ridiculous in this tiny dress and maybe going out with jay is a bad in idea. maybe he's just fucking with your head and maybe he'll toss you away just like beomgyu did. maybe, maybe, maybe. but then? maybe not. and even if he does, you don't want to hear any of that shit from beomgyu of all people. 

"oh, fuck you, beomgyu." 

he looks perfectly scandalized by your comment. you’ve never talked back to him before, and certainly not like this. his eyebrows raise and his jaw drops before he can finally choke out the words "e-excuse me?"

"i said fuck you. i really don't give a shit about what you have to say anymore." 

you're again trying to barrel past him but he steps in front of the door, scowl etched into his pretty features.

"what? are you mad at me now?" you say mockingly. "well, you don't get to be mad at me. move."

it is genuinely amazing to see beomgyu as he is now. he looks like a child who's floundering for a comeback. 

"w-why are you mad? i'm just looking out for you!" oh, you can't help but laugh in his face at that one. he winces when you do.

"my god, that's rich coming from you. what's the worst that could happen? we go on a couple of dates and then he ghosts me? can't say it hasn't happened before."

"th-that's different!" he sputters, face flushing beet red.

"different how?!" you counter. he’s such a fucking hypocrite. you're not the type to get so riled up, but his words have you seeing red. his next words, even more so.

"you... you don't even like me!"

"and why exactly would i like the man who ghosted me, again? you can kick rocks for all i care!" you try to steady your breathing. blowing up like this right before your first date with jay can't be good for your head. luckily, it seems like beomgyu is still fishing for words when you regain your composure. "whatever. i'm done. goodbye, beomgyu." you reach around him for the door handle, but he slams it shut. 

"what the fuck?!" you exclaim exasperatedly. 

"you don't understand," beomgyu says, voice trembling and eyes scarlet. "hana said you didn't like me." 

"hana? what does hana have to do with — oh." oh.

"she said you didn't like me and thought i was obnoxious. she told me she called and interrupted our date because you wanted her to.” 

“why didn’t you just ask, beomgyu? i liked you!” you exclaim. he ruined everything all because of a few words from someone else? 

“why would i ask when hana told me that you didn’t want anything to do with me?”

"so you believed hana instead of just opening your fucking mouth? what, does she wipe your ass and spoon feed you, too?

“watch your mouth,” beomgyu says lowly. 

“or what?” you taunt with a smirk. “you’ll be mad? is beomie bear gonna lose his temper?” you’re on your tiptoes now, face mere inches away from his. where you got the confidence to provoke the man who towers over you even on the worst of days, you have no idea, but the idea of seeing beomgyu squirm is lighting a fire in you you didn’t know existed. is he gonna hit you? scream in your face? you’re excited to see how he reacts. when his gaze flickers from your smiling eyes to your lips, you don’t even get half a second to question his odd look when his lips come crashing down onto yours. 

his big hands grip the back of your head, holding you in place as he punishes your lips with a force you’ve only ever dreamt about. his lips are chapped and you can taste a hint of his favorite lip balm, which he had smeared on just before his arrival. you’re too shocked to move, you’re too shocked to do anything besides gasp when he bites your bottom lip. he takes your open mouth as permission to shove his warm tongue into it. you want to say the kiss is full of fire, and it is, but there’s an overwhelming sense of gentleness, too. it’s hard to put into words, so instead of trying to, you let yourself melt into the feeling. he takes your acquiescence as a sign to go even further. at this point, he’s practically dragging you over to the couch. you’re surprised at how you don’t even attempt to resist when he pushes you down. you’re seated now and he licks his lips hungrily as he lifts your pathetic excuse for a dress off of your body and tosses it somewhere behind the couch. his eyes alight with something akin to raw anger when he takes note of the fact that you are, in fact, not wearing a bra.

“you were seriously gonna go out like that? what a whore,” he says menacingly. you’re now clad in nothing but your favorite pair of underwear. you would usually feel insecure in front of such an intense gaze, but beomgyu looks at you like he wants to devour every part of you. and he will, with time.

“i thought jay would like it,” you shrug. his eyes burn even brighter and he looks like he’s on the brink of snapping. god, fucking with him is so exhilarating. is this how he feels when he’s trying to get under your skin? maybe you do understand why he antagonizes you, actually. this shit feels amazing.

he kneels down before you and possessively kisses your neck until it's numb — pouring out hot kisses and sucking on the skin there like he’s staking his claim. it’s almost like he’s daring another man to touch you, and he doesn’t have to say anything because it’s like you already understand his intentions, and you revel in it. 

his lips travel down to your breasts and they almost ache in anticipation. cruelly, he avoids your pert nipples and opts to circle his tongue around them, sucking on the soft skin and leaving marks in his wake. one of his hands move down to your underwear and he stops his teasing when he feels how wet you are.

“j-jesus, is all this for me?” you’re too embarrassed to respond. he’s trying to keep his cool, but he’s taken aback by how soaked you are. he was already hard just from the kiss alone, but now he aches. he slides your underwear to the side and actually groans when he sees your slickness for himself. slowly, teasingly, he finds his way to your clit and you let out a soft gasp when he finally touches it. you’re unable to stifle a moan when he gingerly takes one of his long, calloused fingers and begins to push it into your cunt. 

“t-tight!” he hisses. “how am i gonna fit?” you’d roll your eyes in annoyance at his self-aggrandizing words if you could muster up anything other than the feeling of pure bliss as he slides another finger in. he’s kneeling between your legs, and you feel some sort of sick satisfaction as you watch the boy lick his lips before trailing opened-mouth kisses on your thighs as he inches closer and closer to your cunt.

you feel his cool breath against your core and you’re seconds away from begging him to continue, but he seems even more eager than you are as he quickly buries his face into your heat. his first lick is long and slow, but you can feel the vibrations from his moan and it reverberates through your legs all the way to your toes. as if he’s a man starved, he messily licks and sucks on your pussy while pumping his fingers in and out mercilessly. you have to hold onto his long hair, not because you want to hurt him, but because it’s the only thing keeping you sane. when he hooks his fingers, you can’t help but call out his name. 

“b-beomgyu!” his darkened eyes snap up to meet yours while his pace becomes even more punishing and, before you know it, you’re spasming around his fingers. he should stop there, but he continues with little kitten licks until you’re begging him to show you mercy. 

he reluctantly parts from your cunt and you can see evidence of your release dripping down his chin. his messy hair, his soaked face, his fucking everything looks like it’s been branded by you and you can’t help but gulp, heat pooling in your stomach again, far too soon after your intense orgasm. usually, a man would wipe his face and clean himself up, but he does nothing of the sort as he leans towards you and practically pleads with you to kiss him.

“so good, want you to taste it,” he says simply as he pulls you in for another filthy kiss. he looks possessed, almost, by your taste. by your scent. by you.

your cum mixed with the taste of beomgyu himself is like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. he wraps his tongue around yours, as if he’s selflessly just trying to share this new discovery.

he unbuckles his own pants like a madman, hastily yanking them down. so hypnotized, he doesn’t even think to take them off all the way, nevermind his shirt. his cock springs up and it’s thick and long, the angry veins juxtaposing from his perfect, doll-like face. he was right. you don’t know how he’ll fit in your tight pussy.

still, he ruts his bare cock against your throbbing cunt and you both moan when it accidentally catches against your entrance. 

“c-condom?” you ask breathily. 

“p-please, please just let me feel you. i can pull out,” he whines. who are you to say no to a man begging?

“...o-okay,” you begin to choke out, and almost before you can even finish, he’s pushing himself in. you both groan at the feeling. he meets resistance before he’s even halfway in and his eyes redden with a lust so strong it almost scares you. 

“s-so tight, so perfect for me,” he says before pulling out and harshly ramming himself back in, sheathing himself completely in you. your eyes begin to sting with pure pleasure. he sits for a moment, just enjoying the way your pussy sucks him in. nothing in your life has ever made you feel this heavenly. not that you’re going to heaven, especially after this, and certainly not if hana has anything to say about it. oh my god, hana.

“w-wait,” you interrupt before he can pull out again. “we can’t! hana—” 

“don’t give a fuck about hana. j-jus’ want you,” he slurs with that lisp that you love so much. and that’s when he really starts. ruthlessly, he sets his pace. ramming into you as the filthy sounds of skin against skin and slick against slick permeate the room. his head lulls back in sheer ecstasy and you’re crying out his name over and over, like a mantra. it’s the only thing chaining you to reality. that, and his viselike grip on your thighs. 

“so g-good, so warm. never h-had a pussy this good before,” he praises as he continues drilling into you. one of his hands snakes its way to your clit and you’re seeing stars. hot tears spring in your eyes and you’re literally crying as his cock pushes you further and further off the deep end. 

“so fucking good for me. you wouldn't even care if i came inside, would you, slut? walking around in that tiny dress, just begging to be fucked.” 

“n-no! i’m not begging f-for anything,” you manage to choke out.

“really? but you look pretty fucking desperate right now. should i stop?” he asks with a mean smile, slowing down the speed of his hips snapping into yours.

“please don’t! i-i’m sorry. please don’t stop!” you whimper. he wasn’t gonna stop, anyway, but watching tears pour out of your eyes at the mere thought of his cock not being inside of you brings him to another level of smugness.

“shh, it’s okay, baby. i won’t stop. i’ll give you exactly what you need.”

“b-beomie!” you cry. “not gonna last much longer!” 

“me neither, pretty girl. fuck, come with me, okay?” he hisses. 

“come inside?” you plead. he almost stills at this, but his brutal pace never stops despite it all. 

“fuck! i knew that good girl act was a sham. you want me to get you pregnant so everyone knows who you belong to?”

“yes! d-don’t care. just want you,” you whine, mirroring his words from earlier. that’s enough to make him lose himself. his resolve snaps and he’s painting the inside of your walls while you helplessly clench around him. it takes a minute to catch your breath and you can’t help but lock eyes with beomgyu as he stays buried in your warmth. his gaze is still lustful, that much you know, but there’s an unknown feeling teeming in his eyes, too.

gingerly, he pulls out and you both watch as his cum trickles out of you. his eyes are alight with fascination and you don’t doubt for a second that he wants to lap it all up and feed it right back to you, but he doesn’t. he simply grabs your cheeks and pulls you in for another heavy kiss.

“wanted to do this for so long,” he says after you part. 

“how long?” you can’t help but ask. 

“since i saw you sitting alone at the café,” he shrugs and smiles shyly. he’s wanted you since he first saw you, which is enough to make you grin, but the blissful smile is wiped off of your face when you remember beomgyu isn’t just some random guy who’s attracted to you. he’s hana’s boyfriend. 

you know now that she orchestrated the downfall of your relationship with beomgyu, but that doesn’t mean you don’t feel guilty as hell for fucking her boyfriend on her couch. oh my god, what have you done? you fucked your friend’s boyfriend in her own home. not only that, but you fucked raw and even let him come inside. you shiver when you recount his nasty words about getting you pregnant, and he really might’ve. you’re not on the pill or anything. oh god. 

“i-i need to get out of here,” you say frantically. you hurriedly push him off of you and wince when you feel his cum leaking out of your cunt. you stumble to the bedroom, legs still weak from what just transpired, and grab your sweats and snake them back on. 

“what are you doing?” beomgyu asks, confused and somewhat annoyed that you’ve effectively ruined the mood. 

“i’m getting the fuck out of here. this… this whole thing was a mistake,” you say, on the verge of tears. you don't even deserve to cry, honestly, but you want to, anyway.

“a-a mistake? why? wait, don’t go!” he says, stepping in front of you again. 

“beomgyu, are you fucking with me? you’re with hana! why wouldn’t this be a mistake? oh my god, and i-i’m not — i don’t take birth control. we really might’ve… fuck just move, please!” you plead. you think you might be on the verge of a panic attack, tears and snot streaming down your face. you just wish he would fucking move so you could get out of here and start fixing everything because the guilt you feel just by seeing his face is all-consuming. there’s no way you can face hana again after this. you’ll cut her out of your life, and when you’re courageous enough, you’ll tell her what you did to her. you’ll lose hana and all the rest of your friends once they hear about what kind of person you really are. and as for beomgyu, well, knowing hana, she’ll stay with him and you’ll be the homewrecker in this story. 

“hey, shh, it’s okay,” beomgyu coos softly, taking your tear-streaked face in his big, warm hands. “talk to me. what are you thinking?” “i… i ruined everything,” you begin with a sob. “i hurt hana. you hurt hana. a-and everybody’s going to be so fucking mad at me. god, she’s never going to forgive me.” 

“listen,” he says softly while rubbing the pads of his thumbs against the tears falling down your cheeks. “she lied to you, and she lied to me, too.”

“because she loves you, beomgyu. she only did it because she loves you so much,” you argue, tearing your face from his grasp, but he only locks his arms around your waist instead. 

“and what about me? what about how i feel?”

“what are you trying to say?” you sniffle.

“i’m saying i meant it when i said i don’t give a fuck about hana. i’m sorry, but i don’t. i never did,” he says as if he’s coaxing a child. you want to believe his words so fucking badly, but you’ve seen the way they’ve been attached at the hip these past few months and you can’t help but feel like he’s just a) full of shit and/or b) pussydrunk on you. he can sense your apprehension and wants to tear his own hair out in frustration. 

“can i be honest with you?” he asks.

you nod in response.

“i… i only started hanging out with her because i knew she was close to you. i don’t know if it’s because i wanted to get back at you or if i just wanted to see you more. maybe a bit of both, honestly. i-i know that’s wrong, but it’s true.” you’re at a loss for words. all you can ask is:

“why?” he chuckles at this. 

“because i like you, dummy,” he says sweetly while releasing one of the hands that grips your waist, using it to fix up your hair. he likes you? the same beomgyu who has effectively harassed you for the past few months… likes you? 

“you have a fucking hilarious way of showing it. i thought you hated me,” you retort. 

“i was just teasing,” he says softly. “i just wanted you to notice me and nothing i did ever seemed to bother you.”

“well, it did,” you scoff. 

“i’m sorry,” he says sheepishly. “i just like you a lot, okay? i’m sorry for being an asshole. and i’ll make it up to you, i promise.” you want to say okay, but the fact remains that he’s still very much hana’s boyfriend. regardless of his feelings, you still betrayed her and your friends aren’t going to be very understanding of your situation with him. the only chance you have of retaining your friendships now is to cut beomgyu off and beg on your knees for forgiveness. but you like him. you really, really like him. and the temptation to relent is even stronger as he begins to plant kisses on your face along with promises to dump her and, in his words, to “be good from now on”. when his innocent kisses turn lustful and begin to trail down your neck, what else can you do besides agree?

notes pt. 2: so...? i hope this was okay i really do LMFAOO. i have no idea how this will be received. if it's bad, i might delete it because i truly don't know what i'm doing. anyway, feedback is always appreciated! it gives me the confidence to branch out like this so i'd love to hear from y'all :)

permanent taglist*: @my313 @superbbananananana @lonelybutterflytae @cherrycolaberry @everythingvirgoes @beomnoullitheorem @sunny4cast

*minors and ageless blogs on my permanent taglist were not added for obvious reasons. i made the taglist before i decided to make supermodel smut, so if you would like to be removed from this or any future smut works, please message me!

[hawkinsbnbg]

Cat hybrid Steve who was returned to the shelter multiple times because he was too high-maintained.

Since he was a rare breed that would get sick easily when upset, most owners deemed him a burden and returned him after just a few days because they didn’t want to get fined for hybrid neglect by PETH—People for the Ethical Treatment of Hybrids.

Their reason was that they couldn’t afford his expensive diet in the long run or play with him all the time.

What they wouldn’t admit was that Steve didn’t need all those pricey food, toys, or clothes. He just simply asked for their affection, which they were always so stingy with.

On the other hand, they kept demanding things from him, rewarding him when he managed to please them and dropping him at the drop of a hat when he failed or refused to satisfy them.

Gradually, he grew bitter about it. He became moody and withdrawn. Every time there were new customers visiting, he would hide in his room and wouldn’t come out until they left.

Thankfully, Joyce and Hopper didn’t seem to be upset with him for it. They just let him be and treated him like any other hybrids at their shelter.

Meanwhile, their kids—Will, Jonathan, and El—kept hanging out with him and treating him like their equal.

Perhaps, that was a major part of why he agreed to meet Eddie Munson at their insistence.

For all he knew, the man was insanely wealthy and famous for being a rockstar. Could provide him with a comfortable life and attention that he had been craving for.

Steve was suspicious but he still gave Eddie a chance, trusting El’s judgment when she said the man was a genuinely good person.

Then, the first thing Eddie had said to him was, “Pretty one, may I take care of you?”

And Steve was sold.

It wasn’t wise to risk his battered heart again when he had ended up abandoned countless times.

But strangely enough, Eddie’s dimpled smiles and kindness made him want to try, to hope, to be brave once more.

So he had stayed, let Eddie get closer to him as days went by. He tried to be cautious, but Eddie was charming and funny and affectionate.

The man lavished him with gifts, cuddles, and kisses all the time. Giving him things he wanted and was afraid to ask for. Allowing him to sleep on the same bed and never pushing him to do anything he didn’t like.

Spoiling him without limitation, to the point that Steve started blushing and feeling warm in his tummy every time the man touched him.

He didn’t think it would be a problem until he was gathered into Eddie’s lap one day and mewled when the man stroked his back.

“Someone’s feeling happy today, hm?” Eddie smiled softly at him, making his heart flutter and his breath hitch.

Steve nodded shyly, his ears flat on his head in embarrassment while the end of his tail curled itself around Eddie’d wrist like usual.

Maybe that was it.

He was just getting too excited with Eddie being home and nothing else.

But then, he outright moaned and arched his back when Eddie’s hand began moving again.

“Sorry,” Steve bit his lip and intended to stand up, not wanting Eddie to think he was weird.

Except the hand on his waist just tightened further and prevented him from leaving.

“I know it’s not your fault, kitten,” Eddie combed through his hair soothingly. “If you want, I can find a partner for you.”

Steve frowned in confusion before meeting Eddie’s eyes, dark and unreadable for the first time since they met each other.

“… Partner?”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Eddie reassured him with a smile that seemed too forced to be genuine. “You can use the right wing of the house during your heat and I’ll only be a floor away. Your partner will also be hand-picked by me and your doctor so there won’t be any scum– sorry, any troubles that can slip through the crack and cause you harm.”

Steve felt light-headed at the mention of heat. He couldn't believe it would arrive after having been absent for so long.

Why now? Why did it choose to show up now when things were going so well for him? And what did Eddie mean by hand-picking a partner for him?

The mere thought of letting someone who wasn’t Eddie touch him that way was enough to make Steve’s hackles rise.

Then again, he wasn’t human and he knew Eddie wouldn't want him like that despite how affectionate the man was to him.

“What's wrong, baby?” Eddie cradled the side of his face gently when he let out a whine.

“I–” Steve squeezed his eyes shut, feeling his lips start wobbling at the thought of Eddie rejecting him.

It was his fault for forgetting his place and catching feelings for the one man who was out of his reach.

Of course, there was no law against hybrid and human relationships, but they were still frowned upon and their offspring would be listed as hybrids for the rest of their life once they were born.

A disadvantage that most humans would want to avoid. Usually, they used hybrids for their own needs—sex, entertainment, companionship. And rarely would they consider treating their hybrids as the object of their love and bailing their children out of their doomed fate with money.

A lot of money.

Perhaps, Eddie would grant Steve’s wish since the man could afford it. But his hope had been quashed the moment Eddie talked about finding a partner for him.

If that wasn’t a sign for Steve to give up, then he didn’t know what it was.

“It’s nothing,” he smiled and pushed down the urge to cry, he could do that later once Eddie left for work. “Sorry for worrying you, Master. It’s probably an effect of my heat.”

“You sure you don’t have anything to tell me?” Eddie looked into his eyes, searching for something he didn’t know.

Steve took in a deep breath and nodded with as much strength as he could muster up even when it hurt.

“I’m sure.”

Eddie didn’t say anything, the man just grabbed his chin and captured him in a fervent kiss, causing him to gush more slick between his legs.

It wasn’t until he ruined his shorts with how soaked he was did Eddie release him.

“You’re mine, kitten,” Eddie nipped the tip of his ear while cupping him through the damp cotton. “No one’s allowed to touch you like this but me.”

“Only yours, Master,” Steve babbled and undulated his hip to seek more friction from Eddie’s big hand, mewling when Eddie caught his tail and tugged it teasingly. “Only yours.”

“Good boy,” Eddie chuckled before kissing him again and again and again.

In the end, Steve was kept in bed for a whole week even though his heat only lasted three days.

Turned out, Eddie had been the trigger of his heat according to Claudia, much to his embarrassment and Eddie’s amusement.

It wasn’t a surprise when nine months later, Steve gave birth to their twins—Maxine Munson and Joey Munson.

And of course, Eddie had paid a hefty price for their children to not get registered as hybrids.

Not only that, they also ran a lifelong campaign to advocate for hybrids’ rights and betterment, helping them escape from their fate.

It wasn’t always sunshine and rainbow, but with his husband and children by his side, Steve had grown into his own self and achieved as many of his goals as he could until the last day of his life.

And he knew one day, many people like him and Eddie would follow in their footsteps so they could live a life full of love without regrets.

And so he hoped.

[storiesforallfandoms]

roses are red ~ damon salvatore;the vampire diaries

word count: 2936

request?: yes!

@faithiegirl01​ : “Hi amor mio!! I’ve read though some of your other works and I absolutely love them. I was wondering if I could request a Hanahaki Disease fic with either Jasper hale, Damon Salvatore or possibly Steve Harrington? I’m just absolutely obsessed with these fics so so much right now. Useally I have a full blown summary to what I want with imagines, but this time I kinda just wanna let the artist do their thing. The only thing is that I don’t really like smut, but you can put it in if you want, I myself would just skip over that part. You don’t have to take this if you don’t want to, I just think it’d be a cute fic idea and that you’d write it very well.”

description: in which she develops a disease after realizing she’s in love with one of her best friends

pairing: damon salvatore x female!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of a fatal sickness (Hanahaki Disease)

masterlist (one, two, three)

It was the way he looked at her; like he needed her more than the air he breathed. Like she was the most beautiful thing to ever walk the Earth. Like he wanted to worship the ground she walked on.

I wish he would look at me like that.

I don’t know exactly when I realized I had a crush on Damon. I had known him since he and Stefan moved to Mystic Falls. Of course, I thought he was attractive when I first met him, but I didn’t think of him in any sort of romantic way. At least, I didn’t think I did.

Until he told me he had feelings for Elena. Then, I started to have this bitter feeling towards Elena whenever she was around, especially when Damon was with her. It was like her very presence alone made me irritated and I couldn’t be around her for very long. Eventually, I was able to put two and two together to realize what was going on: I had fallen for the age old cliché of unrequited love for a friend who loved someone else.

It was so hard. I couldn’t just avoid Damon, he would know something was up. But watching him fawn over Elena when she was head over heels for his brother was extremely difficult.

Like right now, sitting at the bar in The Mystic Grill, watching Damon look at Elena and Stefan with this lovesick puppy look on his face. It was enough to make me want to order the strongest drink the bartender was allowed to give me.

“I’ll have what she’s having,” Damon said, finally tearing his eyes away from Elena and Stefan.

I rolled my eyes and muttered, “You have to get over her.”

He looked over at me. “What?”

I shook my head, realizing what I said would surely cause a fight. “Nothing.”

“No, tell me.” He didn’t sound mad, just genuinely curious. I could’ve made something up, or insisted it really was nothing. I could’ve easily avoided any sort of conflict.

But instead, I said, “You need to get over your feelings for Elena. It’s kind of sad to watch you pine over your brother’s girlfriend.”

The bartender passed us our drinks. I immediately downed the contents of mine, wincing at the bitter taste and burning feeling of the liquid running down my throat. Damon took a moment longer to drink his.

“You think I haven’t tried?” he asked. “To get over Elena? You think I want to feel this way about my brother’s girlfriend?”

“Drinking and having meaningless sex isn’t ‘getting over’ her,” I pointed out. “That’s just coping mechanisms. You need to actually move on.”

“I’m fucking trying,” he snapped. “But it feels impossible. She’s all I can think about. And she’s always at our place because of Stefan, which makes it worse.” He paused to take another sip from his drink. “Besides, it’s not like there’s anyone in this town that I would consider dating.”

His words felt like a knife through my chest. I could feel a lump forming in my throat, but I couldn’t let him see me cry. If that was how he felt, then fine. But it didn’t make his confession hurt me any less.

I ordered another strong drink before saying, “Well, maybe you should try at least. It’s annoying to watch you go after your brother’s girlfriend when she’ll never feel the same way for you.”

A tense silence fell over us. Damon downed the last of his drink before standing from his chair. He pulled some money from his wallet and threw it down onto the counter. I watched as he left the restaurant in a huff. Elena and Stefan shared a look before looking over at me, but I turned away before they could lock eyes with me. I had to admit, what I said was harsh. Maybe I shouldn’t have said it the way I did, but I just felt hurt. Not that he would know that, but my pain wasn’t making me think straight.

I took my drink and downed half of it in one mouthful again. The minute the bitter liquid was gone, I started to cough. I thought maybe it had gone down the wrong way, but then the coughing became harder until it felt like something was coming up in my throat. I quickly ran to the bathroom and collapsed next to the toilet just as something finally came up. I spit it into the toilet and sat back. I was absolutely shocked at what I had seen.

Several flower pedals floating in the water.

~~~~~~

A few days later, I was sat in my doctor’s office. After the first time at Mystic Grill, I had started coughing up more flower pedals. Even in a world that included vampires, werewolves, and witches, I had a feeling that throwing up flower pedals was not normal.

I thought my doctor would want to run some sort of tests to see what was going on, if he even believed me at all. I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t. I barely believed it and I was the one experiencing it. But when I told him what was going on, his face dropped. I suddenly felt very nervous by his reaction.

“Miss. (Y/L/N),” he said. “This is...very serious.”

“I kind of figured,” I said, trying to lighten the mood.

He didn’t seem to appreciate the joke. “(Y/N), this is an illness that’s still very new. We don’t know too much about it yet because it’s very rare.” I sat up a little straighter, my heart starting to pound. “What we do know is that it’s called the Hanahaki Disease. It was first noted in Japan, thus the name being a combination of two Japanese words. There’s not a lot known about how someone gets it, except the fact that unrequited love is involved.”

Are you fucking kidding me?! I’m throwing up flowers because of my crush on Damon?!

“So, what can be done?” I asked. “There has to be a cure or something discovered for this, right?”

The look the doctor gave me didn’t give me a lot of hope. “There’s been attempts at a surgical procedure that will remove the flowers from your respiratory track.”

“Attempts?” That doesn’t sound promising.

“Well, the procedure works. The thing is...it takes away your feelings for the person you have unrequited feelings for. Feelings you will never get back. Which may sound like a good thing, but that includes friendly feelings. With this surgery, you’ll just become apathetic towards the person you had feelings for.”

Okay, that was definitely less than ideal. I would love to lose these romantic feelings for Damon. It would make seeing him fawn over Elena a lot less hurtful. But, if it took away all feelings for Damon, including friendly feelings, then our friendship really would be over, and I didn’t want to lose him as a friend. That was the whole reason I hadn’t told him I liked him in the first place.

“That’s the only way to get rid of this?” I asked.

“The only other way is if the love is reciprocated, and I mean romantically not just in a friendship way.”

Well, that’s not happening.

“Can I think this over?”

The doctor gave me a look that I could only describe as pity. “You can, but try to come up with a decision soon. This illness is fatal if left for too long untreated.”

That should’ve been enough for me to agree to the surgery on the spot. My life was at risk so the solution would be a no brainer to anyone else. But there I was, days after my doctor’s visit, sat in my house with no decision having been made. My condition was getting worse. I could barley go a few minutes without coughing up a flower. I knew I must not have too long left before the fatality of the illness finally got me. Again, that should’ve been enough for any normal person to choose the surgery immediately. however, I couldn’t make that decision when I knew it would mean I’d lose Damon.

I had been holed up in my room and basically pushed my friends away. I told them I wasn’t feeling well, but I didn’t go into any specifics. They still reached out to check on me, but I didn’t respond much.

I hadn’t heard from Damon at all since that night at Mystic Grill. That was probably for the best. Talking to him right now, considering my condition, was probably a bad idea and I’d prefer him hating me if I died over him knowing I was dying because I had feelings for him.

I was in bed in the darkness of my room when I heard a knock at my front door. I ignored it, thinking it was a salesman or something, and figuring they’d just go away eventually. But, when I didn’t answer, there was another series of knocks, followed by the doorbell ringing repeatedly. I sighed, which turned into another coughing fit and a few bright red pedals landing on my floor. I groaned and reluctantly pulled myself out of bed. It seemed whoever was at my door was not leaving until somebody answered. Maybe if it was someone annoying I could just cough some flowers on them and scare them away.

But when I opened the door, it wasn’t a salesman on the other side.

It was Damon Salvatore.

“You look like shit,” he commented.

“Thanks,” I croaked, followed by another coughing fit.

Damon’s face suddenly became serious as he reached out for me. “Jesus, you really aren’t doing well.”

“No, I’m kinda dying,” I responded before I could stop myself.

“I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

“No, Damon. I’m literally dying.”

I felt him tense. I started coughing again, this time actually coughing up a few flower pedals. I caught them in my hand before letting them flutter to the floor. Damon looked at them in a mixture of shock and confusion, before wrapping his arms around me and guiding me into my own house. I let him take me to my living room, and we both sat down on the couch. Damon took one of my blankets that I always left on the back of the couch and wrapped it around my shoulders.

“What did you do to make yourself start throwing up pedals and apparently be on the verge of dying?” he asked. He had one arm around me, and I let myself lean into him. I knew this was probably very bad for me, for my condition, but if I had little time left, I was going to allow myself to have this one moment with Damon.

“It’s some sort of new illness,” I said. “Something that starts with an H, a Japanese word I think the doctor said.”

“Geez, should I be worried about being so close to you then?”

I smiled. For the first time in many days, I was actually able to smile. “It’s not that kind of illness. The doctor said it...it stems from unrequited love.”

There was silence. I realized Damon had been running his hand idly up and down my arm. It felt nice. Despite having kept him away for so long, I was realizing now that I really did need to see him one last time. To just have one final moment of somewhat normalcy with him.

“So...you have feelings for someone...they don’t like you back...and now you’re dying?” Damon asked.

“Apparently so,” I responded. “It’s something rare, but it’s been happening.”

“Who would be stupid enough to not love you?”

I knew that shouldn’t have hurt me, but it did. It hurt because I knew he didn’t actually mean that. Not in the way I would’ve wanted him to. But I really, really wish he had meant it that way.

“Someone who is already in love with someone else.”

“Ah,” Damon said. “That’s...that’s rough.”

I nodded. “I guess you know how that feels.”

“I guess it’s a good thing I’m a vampire and can’t get these sorts of illnesses then.”

“Lucky bastard.”

We both started to laugh, until I started coughing again. This time, it was a lot harsher of a cough, and I coughed out more flowers than I had ever at this point. I hunched over as the flowers came up in my throat and fell onto the floor. My chest burned with every harsh cough, and part of me wondered if this was the end. Was I going to die next to Damon? The irony of that was not lost on me.

I felt his hand against my back as I finally stopped coughing. There was basically a bouquet of flowers at my feet now. It could’ve been beautiful if these plants weren’t the thing that was killing me.

Damon pulled me back so I was in his arms again. My eyes felt heavy suddenly, so I rested my head in the crook of his neck and let them close for a second.

“Can I tell you something?” he asked.

“Now is the time to,” I mumbled back. “Who knows how much longer I have left?”

I meant it as a joke, but I could tell he didn’t appreciate it as much as I wanted him to.

“I’ve never loved Elena.”

My eyes popped open and I quickly sat up to look at him. “What?!”

“Okay, I can’t say never,” he clarified. “I did have some feelings for her when I first met her, but then when she got with Stefan and...and when I met you...those feelings went away.”

“When you met me?” I asked. He nodded. “Damon...are you...are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

He wasn’t looking at me now. “Depends. What do you think I’m saying?”

“Are you trying to tell me that your feelings are for me, and not for Elena?”

He didn’t respond, but he didn’t have to. His body language said everything. Damon Salvatore loves me, not Elena Gilbert.

There was a million and one things running through my head. I had no idea how to even respond to that. I was sure this was all some sort of hallucination caused by the disease. Like I was getting to see the one thing I wanted more than anything before I died.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” I asked. “Wait, no, more important question: why did you always act like you were so in love with Elena if you never were?”

“It felt easier than trying to admit to you that I had feelings for you,” he said. “I knew you never would’ve looked at me that way because you saw me as a friend. And Stefan had already clocked that I had feelings for Elena when I first met her, so I figured I would just lean into that until I could find someone else that captured my attention the way you did. But I couldn’t find anyone else, because there isn’t anyone else who makes me feel the way that you make me feel.”

He barely had the final word out before I was lunging at him, pressing my lips against his. It was a forward approach, I’ll admit, but I couldn’t stop myself. It was the words I had been waiting to hear from him for so long, and now that I was finally hearing them, it was like I didn’t have control of my body. I acted before my brain could process what we were doing. It took Damon by surprise, but it didn’t take him long to start kissing me back. He moved me so that I was actually sat on his lap, my legs on either side of his. His arms pulled me as close to him as I could get.

We kept kissing like that for so long that I didn’t even notice the heavy feeling on my chest had lifted, or the fact that I hadn’t been coughing up flowers anymore. I was so lost in Damon that I didn’t realize that the disease had been cured. I didn’t realize until Damon pulled away from our kiss and looked at me in shock. “Holy shit, you look so much better.”

“What?”

“You don’t look sick anymore.”

I stood quickly and rushed to the nearest mirror. He was right, I didn’t look as sickly anymore. And I felt like I could actually breathe again.

“Whoa, that happened fast,” I murmured to myself.

“How did it happen?” Damon asked, appearing behind me. “I thought it was an unrequited love thing?”

I turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow. “Damon...do you really not know who I was talking about earlier? After I literally just threw myself at you on the couch?”

I could literally see the gears turning in his head until his eyes lit up. “Me?!”

I chuckled and walked towards him. I cupped his face in my hands and leaned upwards to kiss him again. “Yes, stupid. I was talking about you.”

“You almost died because of me?”

“Kind of, but also because I was too chicken to tell you how I felt. But I’m not sick anymore.”

“Thank God for that.”

He pulled me in for another kiss. I never wanted to stop kissing him. I had never felt so good in my entire life. I just wanted to pause in this moment and live it over and over and over again.

[libraryofgage]

Please write for 42. Maybe it could be something dealing with Steve overhearing something he shouldn't have,maybe something the kids say, or Eddie says to someone. Whatever it is it makes him feel like shit. He talks to Eddie, or Robin (or both!) about how much he's changed over the past few years and how he didn't end up being the person everyone thought he'd be, but after what hes overheard he's crying because even though he did all he could he feels lonelier than ever.

Anon, I love you

Prompt 42 for this prompt list!

“Who’s laughing now?”

“…Clearly not you. You’re crying, dear God.” 

I didn't use these quotes exactly, but I came close. It still fits them, though lmao

---

"I should be right back," Steve says, throwing open the van door before hopping out. The moment it closes, Eddie blasts the heavy metal he usually can't because of Steve's sensitive ears. Steve snorts with amusement and heads towards the diner, the smell of fried food and grilling beef overwhelming him the moment he opens the door.

Steve heads up to the counter, flashing a charming smile at Paula, a woman who's been working at the diner longer than Steve has been alive. "We got your usual almost ready, sugar," she tells him, returning the smile as she grabs a receipt from the turning rack and leads him over to the register.

It's a Friday night, which means the diner is bursting with teenagers hanging out in groups or trying to have a romantic date. Steve doesn't usually see anyone he feels like greeting when he picks up food, but a quick sweep this time reveals a table where Jonathan, Argyle, Nancy, Mike, and Will are sitting. Their table is close to the bar, but none of them seem to have noticed Steve because of their conversation, which is just fine with him.

If he gets dragged into a conversation, he might take too long and make Eddie worry. And if Eddie worries, he'll come bursting into the diner, and there are too many people in here that still blame him for...well, everything, for that to be safe.

"Your total is gonna be $12.93," Paula says, watching as Steve distractedly pulls a twenty from his wallet.

"Keep the change. I'll be waiting over there," he says, nodding to a bar stool somewhat close to where his friends are sitting. He then slides into said stool, leaning on the counter and trying to ignore how sticky it is.

He's close enough now to hear the tail-end of Argyle saying, "--eems like such a nice dude, though."

Mike snorts at him. "You didn't know Steve when he was dating Nancy," he points out.

Oh. They're...talking about him. Steve gets the feeling he should walk away, but he also feels stuck in the stool.

"He wasn't that bad," Nancy says. Silence follows her words, and Steve can imagine the looks she's getting. "Okay, yeah, he was an asshole."

"He smashed my camera," Jonathan says, and Steve wonders if he's imagining a trace of bitterness in his voice.

Here's the thing: Steve apologized for smashing the camera (though, he feels it was still justified) and got Jonathan a new one. A fancy, new one. But it doesn't sound like Jonathan is going to include that detail, too.

"He's a lot better now, though," Will says, and Steve wants to get him a new set of dice for trying to stick up for him.

He then wants to cry and maybe break something when he hears Jonathan and Mike snort and bark out a short laugh.

Steve feels himself grow tense as Nancy and Jonathan regale Argyle with how shitty he was in high school. He keeps waiting for one of the kids to refute or bring up how he's changed, but Mike only adds to it all while Will stays quiet, probably unwilling to get himself laughed at again (not that Steve blames him, honestly).

None of them actually point out how Steve's changed. They laugh at how much of a douchebag he was in high school, and Jonathan tells Argyle to "watch out for King Steve coming through" now that nothing is trying to kill them again.

And Steve feels sick to his stomach. Has...has he not actually changed? Is he really the same King Steve he was in high school? Is he still that asshole who didn't give a shit about others because he was just trying to survive himself, no matter who it hurt? Is this how everyone sees him?

"All right, sugar. Here's your cheeseburgers," Paula says, placing a bag in front of him and jerking him out of his thoughts. "One without tomato but with extra ketchup, and the other with grilled onions."

Steve blinks and smiles at Paula again. "Thanks. Same time next week?"

He waits to see Paula's amused smile and playfully dismissive wave before grabbing the bag and practically running out of the restaurant. He doesn't know if it's good or bad that nobody at the table seems to have noticed his presence or departure.

Steve jerks the door to the van open, not waiting for Eddie to turn the music down before hopping in and slamming it shut. He silently pulls on his seatbelt, holds the food in his lap, and stares at the glove compartment.

"Uh, you okay, Stevie?" Eddie asks, his hand lingering on the volume dial.

"I don't wanna talk about it here," Steve says. Because he's going to talk about it with Eddie, the only other person he trusts to be honest with him is Robin. But this is date night for him and Eddie, and even when he's drowning in self-doubt, Steve doesn't want anyone else to interrupt their date night.

Thankfully, Eddie just nods. "Okay, sweetheart," he says, pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road.

Steve doesn't say a word the whole drive, too consumed by forcing himself to focus on Eddie's hand on his thigh. There's a warmth that he feels through the fabric, grounding him and keeping his brain from spiraling too far.

When they finally park (a secluded area close enough to the local make-out spot to still see the romantic stars in the sky without getting caught by anyone else) Eddie turns to Steve and softly asks, "Wanna move to the back, sweetheart?"

Steve grips the bag in his lap tighter, takes a deep breath, and looks at Eddie. He feels a little bad for ignoring the question, but he can't help his worries and fears bubbling out now that they've stopped driving. "I've changed, right? Since high school?"

Eddie blinks, caught off guard by the sudden question. But then he nods. "Yeah, Stevie, you've definitely changed."

"Jonathan and Nancy were in the diner with Argyle, Mike, and Will," Steve says, trying and failing to seem more nonchalant by unbuckling himself and moving to the couch that barely fits in the back of the van. Eddie follows, sitting closer than necessary to eat the burger Steve hands to him. "They were...talking about me. High school me. King Steve. And Jonathan told Argyle to be wary of me. Do they really think I'm the same person?"

"Stevie-"

Steve doesn't let Eddie get far. He's too wrapped up in what happened, too consumed by self-doubt and guilt and the wish that he'd said something to them. His chest feels tight, he feels like the world is going to cave in on him, and the only thing keeping him steady is the way Eddie puts down his burger and pulls Steve into his lap. "And the worst part is that they were laughing. Will tried saying that I was better now, and they fucking laughed. Like it was ridiculous. Like I could never change.

"And I just....I wish I'd said something. I could have ruined their night so fucking easily, Eds. I could have turned around and asked if they always talked shit behind the backs of people who saved them. I could have asked if Jonathan didn't like the replacement camera I got him, or if he still used it to sneak photos of Nancy."

"Is that why you broke his camera? Fuck, I don't blame you."

Steve manages a slight smile for Eddie. "Thanks. I...I don't know. For all I've changed, it would have been so easy to just turn around and be who they thought I still was. And then I would've torn them down to the size of ants. And...and...I wish I had but I don't but I do, so I could've ended it with who's laughing now?"

Steve's chest feels a little looser, and that's a fucking relief, but then he feels Eddie's hand cradling his cheek. "Well, it's definitely not you, sweetheart. Your crying."

Oh. Eddie is right. He is crying. Steve hastily wipes at the tears before just giving up and leaning into Eddie's touch. "Sorry," he mumbles.

"Don't apologize. I almost wish you had done it. And that I'd been there to see it."

"No, you don’t."

Eddie grins, pulling Steve closer so they're chest-to-chest, heart-to-heart. "Yeah, I do. I love when you get bitchy, sweetheart. Especially when it means we can be bitchy together."

Steve blinks, and he can't help laughing. The words were simple, but they still managed to erase all the doubt and some of the hurt. He still probably needs a few days before he can actually look at Jonathan or Nancy or Mike again, but he doesn't feel so immediately devastated.

"Somehow, that was the perfect thing to say," he tells Eddie, closing the distance between them to kiss his lips, getting a hint of ketchup on his tongue.

"Perfect enough to earn me some fun?" Eddie asks, wiggling his eyebrows playfully.

Steve sighs dramatically, pretends to think about it as he actually laments that their burgers will get cold, and then pushes Eddie down on the couch.

[turbulentscrawl]

can we get norton with modern reader? :3

You sure can! I find these pretty easy to do

-He’s another one who doesn’t give much of a damn, initially. Aside from possibly being a bit bitter over how nice your clothes are in comparison to his (and potentially assuming you’re someone well-off, regardless of whether you are or not), Norton’s opinion of you isn’t informed much by your origins. He’s much more concerned about whether you can make yourself useful in matches.

-There’s a decent chance he doesn’t like that phone of yours, though. The light gives away your position, and unless you brought earbuds along he thinks it’s loud as fuck for such a small thing. And why is so much of future music you play so obnoxious? Guess people of your time left their good taste in the past.

-Being from our modern world, you’re likely better informed about various mental disorders than some of the others in the manor. Even some peripheral knowledge would make you better equipped to handle Norton’s personality flips, and maybe even become something of an advocate for him. One of the biggest hurdles Norton faces in the manor is simply other people not stepping off when he tells them to. They don’t grasp that he’s afraid of hurting them, that he’s looking out for them when he isolates. So, if you’ve got some knowledge or experience and can help convince people to give him his space when he needs it, his opinion of you improves rapidly.

-Norton also doesn’t like to owe people. If the above happens in any capacity? Well, you looked out for him, so now he has to look out for you. Mostly in matches, but if someone gets out of hand mouthing off to you in the manor, he’ll step in then too. You should be prepared for him to keep score, though, and for him to make it known if it turns into you owing him.

-Don’t worry, he’s not some creep. Mostly he’ll start asking to swipe bits of food off your plate at mealtimes. Your future-food is very rich…but good. This much seasoning was hard to come by for him. (I feel like this poor guy would get sick off a baconator, but it wouldn’t stop him from wanting another.) After long enough, he’ll also start asking you to teach him about any labor-based skills you have. Or just general academics, even. Norton’s always looking for ways to self-improve.

-Eventually, your technology will grow on him a bit. Don’t get him wrong, he’s a little angry, a little jealous when you tell him about technological advancements in your time. If he’d been born then, maybe life wouldn’t have been so hard. Maybe he wouldn’t be hacking up his lungs at all hours of the day…. But he swallows that negativity down and starts devising little plans for that phone of yours to help during matches.

-Another way Norton tries to look out for you is by introducing you to his level of technology. Which is…not much at all. You know, maybe you have a thing for vintage and antique, maybe the manor seemed charming to you at first…but Norton knows it will wear off eventually, and then you’ll just feel homesick and vulnerable. The best way he can help you combat that is to make sure you have independence. Home is where you feel safe, and the first step of that is being able to take care of yourself.

-Have you got an inhaler? Please give this man a puff or two, the only reason Black Lung hasn’t killed him is because the manor won’t let it.

[fallinforerling]

LOVE ISN’T ETERNAL. chapter 4 - jb

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s masterlist

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s taglist  

ೃ⁀➷ masterlist

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The weekend arrived without any nasty surprises, which was very much appreciated. Jobe was still a bit bitter towards Jude for all the lies he told the family, but you convinced him to not pick any fights with his brother. Jude didn't deserve it, but you still cared about his family dynamic staying the same regardless of how he managed the breakup and everything that came after it.

Now you were laying in bed, not having the energy to do much. It's not like you were allowing yourself to be consumed by the grief or sadness (which you still felt), but you were a bit apathetic. Luckily, Nikki and Mia were coming over to help you with that. 

“I want this to end.” You whispered after a while, wanting to say something to fill up the silence in your apartment.

Because you truly wanted to get over him. Why bother grieving him? He has been partying and probably sleeping with girls every night since his arrival to London. And what were you doing? Missing him? Wishing he’d call? Having insomnia?

“Fucking prick.” At least insulting him was good therapy.

Before you could enter the space of mind where all you did was hate him and his existence, your phone started to ring. The only connection to the outside world this past week and a half was that little device.

Nikki was calling.

“Yeah?”

“Check my chat, girl. This is fucking insane. Go! We're almost there!” And then she hung up.

“What's up with Nikk and hanging up after saying things like that?” You laughed, expecting something funny or a photo of them. But no, it was a Twitter thread. When you clicked it, you almost had a heart attack.

“The fuck is this?!” You screamed.

The author of the thread simply wrote: “Jobe's new girlfriend???? I'm so jealous, who is sheeee???” followed with four photos per tweet. They were from the park meeting just a few days ago. There were photos of you hugging, when you were sitting together and when you started to leave the park.

At least it wasn't going viral, but there still were lots of people interacting with it. They were trying to guess who you were and for how long you two have been “dating”. A nightmare.

This had never happened in the ten months you dated Jude, mostly because privacy was important to him... And now you were mistaken for his little brother’s girlfriend? You felt like having a panic attack, but your front door opened and closed loudly, interrupting your thoughts. 

“Did you see it?” Mia said, entering your bedroom after a few seconds.

“How did you find it?”

“Oh, you know I love gossip. I was digging for some information and I came across it. Did you see the date? Someone posted it three days ago.” Nikki sat next to you, biting her lip.       

“Yeah…” Your brain started to analyze how it happened… Who took the photos without you noticing? The park was almost empty the whole time. Unless… “Fuck… I know who took those photos.” 

“Who?” Mia asked with apprehension. “Someone we know?” 

“No, far from it” With a sigh, you sat. “We met at a park near here. I've always liked that place because most of the time is empty… But that day I spotted a group of girls near us; I didn’t even payed them attention, they were far enough to not eavesdrop.” You covered your eyes, feeling frustrated. “They were teenagers, so of course they took the opportunity when they recognized him.” 

“Yikes, girl… Someone’s going to cancel you for dating a minor.” Nikki joked, winning a very small smile from Mia and you. 

“That’s not funny, my god.They probably will if they ever find who I am and my age.” You sighed, absolutely sick with the path your life was taking. “Why can’t I have one day of peace, huh? Life sucks.”

“Of course it sucks, that’s the main thing about living,” Mia said, sitting in your bed. “Well, let’s pray for that threat to die soon enough. You know how people are, they’re probably hunting for the next big gossip of the week.” 

“Yeah…” You grabbed your phone again, thinking about your next move. “I probably should send this to Jobe as well, I don’t want him to be taken by surprise if people begin asking about this.” A tiny smile peaked between your lips. “And let’s hope the girl he likes doesn’t find it either.”

“Do you know what else you need to start doing?” Nikki said while you send the link to Jobe, who started to laugh about the ridiculous assumption those girls made about you. 

“What?” You asked without paying much attention, smiling a bit when Jobe started to call himself Mr. Steal Your Girl. 

“Being a soulless, heartless, and cold girl for once. What about some clubbing, some fun… Some boys?” 

“You’re like the devil on her shoulder, Nikk,” Mia said, nudging Nikki’s arm. “But I agree, you need some fun. We forbid you from staying at home, drowning in your sadness. That boy doesn’t deserve it.” 

“Not one bit,” Nikki replied, hugging you. “I promise it will be super fun, just go out with us tonight.” 

Instead of responding, you took a look at the ground. There it is. You knew them too well, there was no way for them to “casually” suggest a night out; they had a plan. Their bags were on the floor, but you noticed a small bag that Nikki only took out of her house if she was planning to party: her makeup bag, which was essential if she was going out clubbing.

“Are you trying to persuade me into partying tonight?” You smiled, not even mad at the idea. 

“Maybe?” Both of them said, trying to look as innocent as possible. 

The three of you looked at each other with big smiles before laughing. 

“We’re going out tonight!” Mia screamed, gaining more laughs from Nikki and you. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The fun part about going out with Mia and Nikki was the part previous to the actual clubbing. There just was something magical about getting ready with them: the makeup with the collaboration of everybody, constantly changing outfits, Nikki persuading both of you to drink a little bit for good luck and Mia insisting that all of you needed smoky eyes, so guys felt intimidated. Most of it was nonsense, but they were your best friends in the whole world and you always felt extremely thankful for their support.

“Promise me you’re going to at least try dancing with the hottest guy that approaches you tonight.” Mia said while doing your smoky eyes (yeah, you gave in).

“I’ll try.” And you will because it wasn’t fair for you to stay in your comfort zone. If this whole thing didn’t cheer you up or make you feel better, then you could always find other ways to keep your mind occupied.

“That’s more than enough for me. Try to have fun, this is a girl’s night.” 

“And talking about girls. Put this dress on, the girls look stunning in it.” Nikki dropped a black dress on your lap. 

“No way!” You lifted it with a smile. “I completely forgot about this dress. I haven’t worn it since…” You paused, feeling uncomfortable. “Uh, Jude’s birthday.” 

“Well, who cares about that? You still look amazing.” Nikki smiled, obviously not about to let you think much about Jude. 

“Done!” Mia said after a few seconds, biting her lip. “This is my best work so far.” Her eyes were sparkling, so you believed her. 

Facing yourself in the mirror, you almost didn’t recognize the face that was looking back at you. You looked amazing; the color of your eyes popped, the glitter was doing the right job of not making it look too dark and the red lipstick was the final touch. You loved it. 

“That’s the face of a heartbreaker, girl.” Nikki admired your face for an instant before smiling. “Ah, I can’t wait for the boys to fight over you.” 

“Very funny, Nikk.” 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The club Nikki choose was wild, especially since a manager was waiting for you at the door, guiding you to the balcony section of the club- which was the freaking VIP one.

“Nikk?” You half-screamed through the music, dying to know how she managed to pull this off. Mia seemed as confused as you were. “Anything you want to tell us?”

“About what?” She kept walking with the biggest of smiles.

“Uh… Us getting into the VIP section wiht no even five minutes of being here?”

“Oh, that?” Her smile grew bigger, if that was physically possible. “I know someone.”

Clearly, that was all the information you were getting. Mia gave you a look and the both of you silently decided that it was better if you didn’t dig into it.

“Tonight it’s about having fun, girls. My treat, don’t worry.” Nikki said once you were at the table, which already had a champagne bottle resting comfortably on an ice bucket. Three champagne glasses were next to it, patiently waiting for you. 

“Oh, so this is luxury, luxury.” Mia whispered, laughing a bit. 

“The fun it’s all that matters, trust me, Mia.” A waiter appeared out of nowhere, silently grabbing the bottle before smiling at all of you. 

“Welcome, ladies. May I open it now?” You nodded, and with one quick movement of his wrist, he had the job done. Impressive. “Hope you have a good night. Don’t forget you can always call a waiter with the button that’s underneath the table.” And then he was gone. 

“You were right, Mia. This is luxury luxury.” You accepted the glass Nikki offered you, excited for the night ahead. 

“Let’s enjoy it without actually wondering how much all this is, babe.” Was all she said before chugging her glass in one sitting. “I’m ready, give me another one.” 

“That’s what I’m talking about!" Nikki cheered, happy to see Mia engaged with tonight’s mission.                                                                                                     

“Come on, you need to chug that thing too, there’s more in here.” Nikki told you, already serving Mia’s second glass. 

“Fuck it.” You said before doing as Nikki said, chugging your champagne as carefully as possible so you didn’t choke. “If I end up vomiting all over the floor at the end of the night, I want you to know, I’m blaming you.” 

“That’s fine to me!” And then Nikki chugged her glass as well. 

Yeah, this night was going to be hella interesting.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Needless to say that within two hours of clubbing you were pretty drunk. Not to the point of falling when trying to walk because the world was spinning or to the verge of unconsciousness, but a good point between being able to not care if something ridiculous escaped your mouth and dancing with strangers without giving it a second thought. 

Nikki had found some friends along the night, and now three more people, which were the nicest ever, were sitting at your table, chatting and laughing along. You enjoyed the their company, but felt the need to give yourself space to drink a very much needed glass of water in peace. 

So there you were, leaning against one of the multiple spaces in the balcony where little chairs were dispersed. It felt almost peaceful if you ignored the music blasting through the speakers or the many waiters going around the place, dealing with drunks and orders. 

“No way! Is that you?” A voice startled you, taking your mind away from the blankness it was immersed in. “I knew I wasn’t mistaking that face!” 

You turned, slightly pissed at the person that was basically yelling at you, until you realized it was Gio. Gio Reyna himself. 

“Gio?!” You didn’t know why, but the excitement made you scream. Maybe it was because you were drunk, but seeing Gio was one of the highlights of the night. “What the fuck are you doing here?” 

“I’m taking the few days off I have.” He hugged you tightly once you stood up, almost swiping you from the floor. “You look amazing! What are you doing here?” 

“Thanks! I’m with my friends, they’re right there!” You pointed to the table, where all kept chatting without noticing your encounter. “It’s a girl’s night!” 

“That’s cool! I thought you were with Jude, since he’s at London and all that.” 

Your smile never wandered from your face, not caring about Jude’s name being dropped from Gio’s lips. You shook your head, letting him know you weren’t with him today. Or ever, for that matter. 

“Nope, just my girls and I.” He kept looking at you like he was in front of a new person, not Jude’s “girlfriend”. You didn’t know if you liked it or felt bad about it. He was one of Jude’s good friends after all. “What about taking a picture? It’s been so long since we saw each other.” 

“Sure! Are you okay if I post it to IG?” 

Oh?

“Of course, go for it.” 

Then the two of you moved to a more illuminated area, he took his phone and you knew this was one of a kind type of opportunity. Time to be the pettiest bitch I know. Taking advantage of him getting closer to you for the sake of the photo, you passed one arm over his shoulders, and after a couple of pics, you decided to give him a tiny peck on the cheek. 

“Let's see.” He said shyly. Aw.

A few of them were blurry, but most were decent and the peck one was fabulous, not only for the sake of your intentions, but also because of how good the two of you looked. Your makeup was still intact, and with the lighting, it shined in a very pretty way. Gio had a light blush due to the alcohol, his smile being evident, giving his already handsome face something else. 

“That one?” You said, picking the one you liked the most. 

“Yeah! We look amazing.” He started to set it but paused before publishing it. “Do you mind if I tag you?” 

Bingo. 

“Go ahead, I have no problem.” And that was it. 

You said your goodbyes, and while returning to the table, you felt some type of triumph. Did this make you a bad person? 

“Where were you? We thought you got lost or something.” Mia said when you finally arrived, sitting beside Nikki. 

“So… I did a thing…”

[alexanderlightweight]

Hey lumine! I hope all is well and that you're getting over the post-plague funk- I know being sick is the absolute worst.

If you happen to be taking prompts today (and totally cool if not!) I would love to see if you're interested in tangling with a continuation of either the bitter trap of truth or the craft of adoration.

For the first one, I ADORE the way Cat and Ragnor in your last piece were observing Alec so casually giving priceless nephilim intelligence to them while so clearly displaying his trust in Magnus alskjfda;lsdfjasdfadsf. so good and happy and all my favorite things with Alec happily surrendering to Magnus and being his BAMF-y self while doing so and even the utter delight of outside POV!

For the second, if that AU floats your fancy higher, my brain is just utterly stuck on that line where Magnus asks Alec to come to him at dawn because he wants his people to see Alec coming to his call, coming to heel if you will. I would be drowning in glee (to continue the watery metaphors) to see how your wonderful imagination would envision that scene occurring and what Magnus (and Magnus' people!) would think of Alec acquiescing to Magnus' request.

Hope you feel better!

the prompts themselves are compliments and incredible sweet s thank you Laws!

I realize it was a different day that this was sent but I dont remember which day and tbh, today is a good day! Mostly over the cold and my leg is finally aching less enough to think.

no outsider pov in this one, but a bit more of cat and ragnor and the magnificent team immortal because i love them and they need to be more heavily involved in this fic for a variety of reasons.

need to take @saryn-prime to a health appointment and then i'll be back to settle in and write more.

i ened up really feeling the bitter trap of truth today and its been on my mind for days and my fingers have been aching to write it. hope you enjoy and are doing well!

<3 lumine

-

It’s past noon when Magnus’ wards flare and he leaves Alexander where he is, splayed out across the bed and face burrowed into a pillow. It’s been enough time that Catarina and Ragnor’s visit can only mean one thing.

Magnus will finally have his answer.

If he was wise to trust Alexander or if his boy has so easily betrayed him.

Alexander won’t face punishment from the warlocks.

Even if he’s played them, it’s one of his own people who have died and Magnus already knows that the Clave won’t punish him for it. If anything, they’ll reward him for ensuring that

But Magnus’ heart will still ache at being tricked.

Neither of his dear companions are in his apothecary, instead they are practically relaxed. Well, as relaxed as they can be when exhaustion haunts their visage. Catarina is splayed out on the sofa and Ragnor has nearly melted into his favorite armchair, pipe puffing peacefully away as Catarina summons three drinks.

“A toast!” She offers and her soft smile nearly breaks Magnus.

She wouldn’t be smiling or toasting if she brought ill news.

“It worked?” He asks, even thought he knows it has to have. But years of agonizing betrayal make him ask, he has to know.

“It’s as if she were never ill.” Catarina confirms and her eyes gleam with mocking humor. “I’ve never seen someone so mortified and furious to be saved.”

“It should also be noted that she’s of a much lower rank than your shadowhunter.” Ragnor gives a quiet sigh and blows out a ring of smoke. “I rather doubt she even knew what the poison would do beyond killing her and striking a blow to the downworld. She seemed utterly shocked that we managed to find an antidote.”

“Did you tell them how we managed?”

“And risk them finding even more obscure poisons?” Cat laughs and shakes her head. “No, let them think I somehow found an antidote. If they knew the treasure trove of willing information your boy is, well…”

She trails off with an apologetic shrug and Magnus just nods. Cat’s not wrong. If anything, she’s being generous with how delicate she’s being. It also means that Magnus is going to have to be very careful with who he shares information about Alec with.

The Council would no doubt want to interrogate him for all the answers he would be able to give, but Magnus would rather play the long game. Alexander is unique, in more ways than one and while he doubts that his hunter would dare lie before the Elders, he also doesn’t want more attention drawn to him.

Not before Magnus is completely sure.

Magnus’ heart has been wounded too many times for this one action to convince him, but it has done what he hoped.

Catarina and Ragnor are both now willing to give Alexander a chance, a real chance and that is worth more to Magnus than anything else.

— Alec is beginning to think that he’s never going to wake up with Magnus wrapped around him, or wrapped around Magnus. Every time he thinks he’s going to be able to enjoy sunlight and warm, bare skin and golden eyes, something comes up.

Alec is almost ready to just haul Magnus back to bed, but he doesn’t think they’re quite there yet.

It’s with careful consideration that he bites his lip hard enough to bleed. Instantly, the nearly scalding feeling of Magnus’ blood working through his veins lights up. He enjoy it for a few seconds as it heals the damage and then its gone… and no Magnus appears after it.

Alec follows the tug of his bond with Magnus, teeth playing with his lip — which burns in admonishment — and finds himself holding back a soft chuckle. Magnus’ friend Ragnor — someone who Alec knows is a highly revered potion master — is asleep in an armchair. He’s blowing smoke rings as he snores and Magnus and Catarina — who Alec knows is an incredibly talented and powerful healer — are splayed out together on the couch.

Magnus appears to be trying to give her a foot massage, but she’s asleep and his eyes are slipping shut, head nodding forward.

Alec huffs another silent breath of laughter and — with all the skill that he was once taught in order to be a better killer — collects several of Magnus’ extravagant throws.

Because Alec is nothing if not petty, he very carefully lays the cabbage green monstrosity of a tartan throw on Ragnor. Careful not to get close enough that the warlock wakes and thinks it an attack and then settles the large umber blanket over Catarina and Magnus both.

While he’s careful not to touch either of Magnus’ friends, he can’t help but settle a pillow under Magnus head and smooths the hair falling into his eyes away.

It’s a gentle, whisper of a kiss that he presses to Magnus’ hair and then he grabs the book he’d left on the table the night before.

As he settles on the floor next to Magnus, resting his head on Magnus’ leg and being careful to stay out of range of Catarina — he doesn’t know her after all — a glimpse of movement catches his attention.

Ragnor’s eyes meet his and Alec just nods, simple and acknowledging and then he opens the book he grabbed and settles in. If Magnus didn’t want him around his friends when they’re vulnerable then the magic of the loft wouldn’t have let him in.

The blankets probably aren’t necessary, but Alec is Magnus’ husband now. And while Alec is still figuring out his new position in life he does know how to take care of people. Mostly his soldiers and his siblings but still, if he softens his touch a bit, he’s sure he’ll manage just find at taking care of Magnus and his friends.

If this — being allowed in the same room as three vulnerable warlocks — is another sign that Magnus is trusting him, well then Alec is going to take full advantage of it.

While also not giving Magnus any reason to doubt him.

[haeryna]

i feel like reader (especially after being called princess and the two working together to tear down her walls) would be in a dilemma— like a few things came out of them abandoning her but one being just this indescribable feeling of rage and hurt

so upon being in their hold and touch and suguru endearingly calling for her to hear them out, part of her wants to fold SO bad but the other part of her wants to stay unreasonable and not hear them out because it’s just so much easier to be angry at them and paint them as the villains in her life, if she does accept their apology she knows that feeling won’t go away— she’d have to come to terms with how bitter of a person she really was (i mean rightfully so, they did screw her over)

also bless u and ur writing— i don’t see many poly! satosugu x reader stories with a plot that has me biting my finger in absolute investment LMAO love uuuuuu 🫶🏾✨

ANON THANK YOU you perfectly summed it up !! i wanted to write a story where there was a difficult decision that had to be made, with several catalysts involving how everything went down. (splitting this so that it doesn't invade people's feeds with a wall of text LOL)

satoru's "coming out" to his parents: mine were so homophobic that i didn't come to terms with my own sexuality for a long, long time, so i empathized with the sheer panic and trauma that gave him. you don't make rational decisions when your parents are beating the shit out of you, and you also don't make rational decisions when you're 16 years old.

suguru choosing to leave reader behind: they could only withdraw so much money with the limits satoru's parents had placed on his bank account. they had to have enough to eat, to rent an apartment, to actually get away. they had to choose a place far enough so that satoru's parents wouldn't follow, which brings me to

retaliation: there's a unique kind of fear, when you're unsure if someone is hunting you down. there's a kind of terror in realizing they can track you. it's why they got rid of their phones, and immediately upon signing to the same company, received heavily protected ones. only people who had their number could reach them, or even respond.

"they could have said something:" again, they were panicked, satoru had just been beaten by his literal parents, and they were trying to flee as fast as possible. in the moment, they could not have and would not have been able to do that. as alluded to before, they did not live a comfortable life in asia. the beginning was rough as they scraped by. it wasn't until satoru began auditioning that things started looking up for them, and if you're into the kpop scene, you know how brutal training is. suguru ultimately spent all his time caring for satoru and working on the side until he also made it big.

"and what about after?:" honestly sometimes, when you know you fuck up, but you feel like you can't do anything about it anymore? that was them. and you can be upset with it all you want, but it had gotten to the point where they genuinely thought you would never be a part of their lives again. yet the chasm in their chest grew larger and larger, until they realized they couldn't continue on unless they know they at least tried.

that's not to say reader isn't in a predicament as well, like you mentioned nonnie. leaving hurts, and abandonment is worse, so it would be far easier to paint them as the bad guys. it doesn't matter what their intentions were. to reader, they left her alone, and now they're suddenly back for unknown reasons? reader is also not the most stable of mind right now (real); she's working two jobs on top of taking care of her sick parents. for the past five years, she's had to be the one taking care of herself. now satosugu need to prove that they WANT to be the ones taking care of her. i've been in this situation before, as the left party (who eventually ended up forgiving the leaver), so i hope that will help to incorporate realism into the situation.

and i'm glad you like the plot/understood the nuance of the situation! i'm grateful to you and your ask anon, thank you for allowing me to go in depth into the situation <33 i love you too!

[struttingstag]

Week 3 Recap

The Strutting Slut Fest is a prompt-based fest run by The Strutting Stag pairing James Potter with at least two characters.

pulling pigtails (4888 words, rated T) by @gracelesslady23 Sirius Black/James Potter/Severus Snape

Severus has been on the receiving end of pranks from bitter rivals, Black and Potter, for close to seven years and believes himself to be well and truly sick of it. But after an eye-opening conversation with Lily (which includes the mention of a very famous muggle adage) Severus finds his perspective shifting. Can it be that Potter and Black are so emotionally repressed that they are using pranking as a form of flirting? And is Severus so lacking in good taste that he finds himself actually enjoying their attention? aka. a silly little starbucksprince rom com where none of them know how to properly communicate their feelings, but it all works out in the end.

Lips Like Morphine  (9708 words, rated E) by @bluedahlia912 Regulus Black/James Potter

He wanted to get closer, needed more, more. James was still just barely hovering over Regulus, one leg positioned between both of his own. Regulus began grinding his ever-hardening cock against the muscular thigh, the frottage doing pleasant things that had him moaning, making sounds he didn’t realize he was capable of making. “Careful love,” James purred, and the sound of his voice nearly sent Regulus over the edge. “Not yet.” OR Regulus Black goes to Potter Castle to repair his relationship with his brother. Little does he know that he has strayed willingly into the midst of vampires; AKA the vampire smut I’ve always wanted to write.

the alchemy (4119 words, rated T) by @ghst-boys Regulus Black/James Potter, Narcissa Black/James Potter, Past Lily Evans/James Potter, Minor Lily Evans/Pandora Lovegood

James Potter is one of the biggest pop stars in the world, and he has what appears to be the perfect relationship with Lily Evans. But what if things are not all they appear to be?

Scandal does funny things to pride (But brings lovers closer) (3801 words, rated E) by @dyke--vader James Potter/Ron Weasley, James Potter/Lily Potter

James knew what he should do. He should accompany Ron to the clinic. He should pay any necessary costs, be there for him as he recovers. They should end things. It was clear that they didn’t know how to stop themselves, how they’d taken every precaution necessary at the start - yet let their relationship wear down the safeguards until they had toed the line too closely. But when James looked at Ron, he couldn’t bring himself to say it.

What Are Friends For (ongoing, 9k+ words, rated E) by @samynnad102687 Regulus Black/James Potter, Barty Crouch Jr./James Potter/Evan Rosier, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin/James Potter, Lily Evans/Pandora Lovegood/James Potter, Regulus Black/Barty Crouch Jr./James Potter/Evan Rosier

James has ADHD and his mind is a mess. The only way to make it go quiet is by being fucked dumb. His friends decide to help. Prompt for Strutting Slut Fest 2024 A 5 + 1 Smut fic: Five times the members of the polycule fucked James stupid and one time James wanted them to but they all took care of him instead.

Venom Dripping In Your Mouth (9443 words, rated E) by @arviyya Regulus Black/James Potter, Barty Crouch Jr./Evan Rosier, Regulus Black/Barty Crouch Jr./James Potter/Evan Rosier

If you were to ask Regulus how he ended up here, he would tell you with conviction that he has no fucking idea. However, that would be a lie. And, now he’s the one with a vampire’s hand digging into his back, his cold lips pressed against Regulus’ ear, voice a growl so low that it’s a mere breath, enough to send shivers to every inch of his body, “For someone who was clearly searching for this, you seem more than a little terrified, sweetheart." Or: Regulus is a bio-chem undergrad fulfilling a humanities credit when he realizes there may be something strange about his professors, James and Evan. He finds more than he bargains for when he decides to test his theory with his best friend Barty in tow, leading to Regulus and Barty becoming human sippy cups.

[simplyalicee]

" (Un)Needed Comfort "

Wally Darling x Reader [angst with comfort]

Idea: You couldn't take it anymore. Everyone around you has been shoving you back and forth as if you were just some child's toy. You hated it. You locked yourself up in the comfort of your home, but what you don't realize is that a special puppet always has your back. No matter what.

Reminders: An angsty fic with comfort for your beloved Wally Darling. While there's no trigger warning, I understand not everyone likes angst. It's okay, you're still awesome either way.

Reader is gender neutral <3

Enjoy your angst and comfort 🫂

♡----------------♡

You lost all track of time.

It's not like it mattered, right?

It shouldn't matter, it doesn't matter.

It has been days since you've left your home. You couldn't bring yourself to live through another day of endless torment by your peers. No one understood you. No one took you seriously. They all point and laugh. They call you dramatic. They say you're the problem. They sigh and roll their eyes at you.

Every single thing. You hated it. Deep down, you knew it was pointless to fight back. You might as well just rot away and hope you disappear quickly. It'd be better for them. So, you stayed in your room. Pillows surrounded you, blankets you cried on, your bed you lay in. Your sense of time was lost to you. The longer you stayed, the better.

But it wasn't for the better.

You always scoffed when you'd hear someone say, "There's always someone who cares about you."

You thought it was bullshit.

No, in fact, it was.

If someone truly cared about you, they would've showed up so long ago. Maybe then, you wouldn't be left so scarred and broken. Maybe you would've actually been happy with yourself. But you're not, so you don't care anymore.

...

You were left in your misery for so long, you completely forgot about the one person who truly cared about you.

Wally Darling, himself.

You never quite understood him, but there was no need to. You loved him. You loved the way he dressed, the way he spoke, the way he always lifted your frown even on the darkest days. He made you happy. In fact, he was the only one who truly made you feel loved.

But even then, you couldn't bring yourself to open up to him.

Why should you burden your troubles on him? It's not like he deserves to know what goes on in your daily life anyways, right? None of that should be important.

But it actually was. Maybe not to you, but to Wally.

What's something about him that you never knew?

His unconditional love for you.

Maybe you never realized it, but Wally sees you. He hears you. He sees your struggles, your fights, your countless cries and pain. He knows what you're going through.

And to him? It's the most heartbreaking thing he's ever had to witness. He's not going to let you suffer any longer.

...

You hear a knock on the door, it seemed.. frantic. No, don't open it. It's probably just someone trying to bother you again. You had no time for this. You buried your face into your pillow, hoping the person would go away. But they never did. Another knock was made. This time, it was louder and more alarming.

"Oh, for goodness sakes.."

You mumbled to yourself, forcing yourself up from the comfort of your bed. Whoever was at the door, you hoped it was important. You stumbled to the front door and swung it open. Your glare was wiped away when you saw Wally standing in front of you. He wasn't smiling. He was worried sick. The way he looked at you said so. God, he looked like he's seen a ghost.

"Neighbor..?"

You furrowed your brows at him with a frown. You really didn't want to see anyone.

"What do you want, Wally?" You spoke with a bitter coldness to your tone, which made Wally shiver.

There was a moment of silence between you two. Just as you rolled your eyes and were about to shut the door, you heard him speak up.

"Neighbor, wait-"

You stopped yourself from closing the door. You forced your gaze towards him, giving him your attention. Wally exhaled softly as he glanced at you with such a concerning look, something you're not used to.

Originally, you wanted him to go away. But seeing the tears in his eyes told you otherwise.

"Neighbor, it's been four days since you've come out of your house. I'm awfully worried about you."

He stopped for a moment as he tried to find the right words to speak.

"Is something wrong? Did someone hurt you? Did.. did I do something wrong?"

You stood silent.

"Neighbor, please tell me what's going on. You look so sad and miserable. I don't like seeing you like this-"

"Then maybe you shouldn't have come here." You blurted.

Wally seemed taken aback by your words.

"Please.. you're always welcome to talk to me. I'll do whatever I can, I'll listen to you. Just, please stop isolating yourself, neighbor.."

Wally's voice trailed off, his gaze moving down towards the floor.

"I miss seeing you."

...

What did he just say?

You stood silent. Your eyes widened when Wally took your hand into his and held it gently, his eyes returning to view you.

You could see a small bit of pink hue highlighting his cheeks.

"..I love you, Neighbor. So much. I don't know what's going on, but I want to do whatever I can to help you. Please, at least let me try to help.. you don't deserve to be miserable."

There was a bit of silence, as Wally gently brushed his thumb on your hand.

"I.. I'm sorry for bothering you. I can leave you alone if you'd like."

You didn't say anything, you were too busy trying to process information. Wally slowly removed his hand from yours, waiting for you to say something, but you didn't. With a gentle sigh of defeat, Wally turned on his feet and began to walk away from you.

...

You ran. You ran towards Wally as fast as you could and pulled him up in a surprise hug from behind.

"Oh!-"

Wally yelped in surprise as he quickly fell limp in your arms. He didn't know what to do in hug embraces, but he allowed you to hold him.

You held him in your arms, tears stained your cheeks as you cried. You felt so guilty for being so mean. He was trying to help, but it's been so difficult to know whether someone truly wants to help or hurt you more. But this is Wally we're talking about.

You continued to hug Wally for a short moment before letting go. You knelt down to his height as he got himself straightened out on the ground.

"Wally, I'm so sorry.." You barely whispered, feeling guilt swallowing you up whole.

Wally slowly rose his hands up to your face, gently cupping your cheeks as he pressed his forehead against yours. He gazed at you with care and concern.

"There's no need to apologize, Neighbor. I'm just happy to see you right now."

Your cheeks became a light pink as you smiled slightly. You appreciated his words. They were something you don't hear often.

You sighed, placing your hand on his cheek. Wally leaned to your touch with a soft hum, his face becoming a bit of a darker shade of pink. You couldn't help but smile at his blush. You hadn't realized how much you truly missed his company after your isolation.

"Ha.. Ha.. Ha.." Wally 'laughed.'

You tilted your head in confusion.

"What's so funny, Wally?"

Wally shook his head.

"Oh, nothing."

You immediately froze in place when Wally leaned in to kiss you on the forehead. It was more of a bonk, but you grew red and flustered from his gesture.

His words were what left you breathless.

"I just adore your smile.."

♡----------------♡

OKAY I know this has more angst than comfort but I do promise to write more comfort fics!! This was a lot of fun writing though, so feel free to give me any other ideas to write ^^

I wrote this at 2 am help

[auspicioustidings]

I can just see the 141 brining Maze and Alex into to convince bad girl that they were coming for her all along and it just going horribly wrong.

Using them as evidence that they were helping her but it backfires and she thinks that the 141 were trying to make her into an attack dog and once that was proven (with her breakout) they want her back.

I want a version of a happy ending for bad girl but I just keep thinking of all these horrible things! Someone get her therapy and lots of cuddles!

God they are so stupid 😩

This absolutely sounds like something they would do. Like look! Mace helped you! (oh he was your pet once? So he helped you, nothing to do with me). Alex was undercover the whole time! (ah, so when it was just me there that wasn't a good enough reason to break cover, but he broke it for good boy). No, you don't understand, even Nikto wanted you out and he's a complete headcase! (you know Nikto. You know him so that's what this was, sending me to him for training.)

It's so frustrating because I know in my heart they are also doing things that bring you around without realising.

Soap spends weeks learning to make the perfect iteration of your favourite meal. When he first met you, he loved the healthy layers of fat he got to sink his fingers into. Now you are so much smaller and it makes him so sad because he knows if they had never taken you then you wouldn't be. He first off spent a lot of time coaxing good boy into telling him. Good boy has retreated back into pet mode, he's miserable but unlike you he is openly desperate for love and adoration from them all and they give it in spades. It means getting a human answer from him was tricky, but Soap did it. Then he went travelling all over the place to get only the best ingredients, did a ton of research on it. Nearly burned the kitchen down twice. Every person in that house is sick of this meal because they have all had to taste test every iteration of it until it was actually good. Except for good boy of course.

That's why the gesture maybe got to you a bit. Good boy is allergic to things in this meal. At first when Soap brought it to you, you tackled him and tried to go for his throat because is he crazy? Good boy is allergic! But he tells you not to worry, he knows that. It's difficult for you to wrap your head around. This was not for good boy. Good boy could get no enjoyment out of this. This was just for you. He tried so hard just for you.

Ghost keeps bringing you books even though you destroy them. He never yells at you for it, never even acknowledges it. It isn't like him and it puts you on edge. It terrifies you the day you crawl into a corner and actual start reading one because he doesn't react to that either, doesn't try to praise you or encourage it, just brings you some tea and a little plate of snacks and sets them by your side. It's Lady Grey tea. The only people that know it's your favourite are Mace and Roze because anytime you were in recovery they gave you different teas to see which you liked best.

Price and Ale persevere. You don't want them close. You bite at them and scratch at them and scream at them. You try and push them to hit you. You want them to punish you, to call you bad girl. But they don't, they just hold you and refuse to let go no matter how much you struggle. It's the only time you sleep well, when you are safe between them, settled into their arms.

Gaz and Rudy don't trust themselves. They've both fucked up already, made things so much worse for you when they thought they were making them better. So this time they consider actually asking for help from someone who will always put you first. It's terrifying. Kate is not like them. If you went to her and said you never wanted to wear a collar or be a pet or see them ever again, she would make that happen. They talk to Alex about it. How did he feel when Kate took Farah? Is he bitter because he doesn't see her anymore?

But he does. They never knew that. It took years, but one day he answered his phone to Kate and it was Farah on the other end. His Farah, the one who he fucked up with beyond believe. The one who wound up in the pound because of his mistakes. He does see her now and he smiles when he talks about her because she's bold and brilliant again. He says he met her for coffee and she laughed at him because he immediately burst into tears seeing her so vibrant and healthy. They're working on it because there is still so much pain in their past, but he's so willing to take whatever he gives her because he loves her. And despite his reservations, he actually loves that Kate loves her because she deserves the world from whoever can give it to her.

It's a tense discussion. They are selfish men. The 141 let you go once and it is difficult to face the idea of doing it again. So what it comes down to is do they throw their all into training you again? Do they break you back down to a pet, force you to be brainless and happy with them if it's the last thing they do? Or do they sacrifice their ownership of you for the slim chance that one day you come back to them on your own? Knowing that you probably won't. Knowing that losing you means losing the version of good boy that is happy. Maybe losing the version of them that is happy too.

[slaymitchabernathy]

Beating Heart

| "And I don't know where I'm going, but I know it's gonna be a long time. 'Cause I'll be leaving in the morning, come the white wine, bitter sunlight." |

The Dauntless compound reminds me of a dark cave. 

I didn’t realize how much I took natural sunlight for granted until walking through the countless corridors that serve as a way to move around the compound. Everything is dark and wet, with blue lights serving as illumination. 

The group of initiates follows someone through the maze of corridors until the person in front of me comes to a stop and I end up running right into him. I rub my nose and secretly wish I were taller. 

“Alright, Dauntless born go with Arachne, transfers stay with me.”

I recognize the deep male voice, it belongs to the boy who helped me off the net. A good half of our group trickles down another corridor, I suppose they won’t require a tour compared to us. With a smaller group, I’m able to push my way to the front and Dorothea and Lucy Gray Baird follow right after me until we’re standing in the front.

The tall boy’s eyes meet mine for only a second before he scans the group, “I’m going to be one of your instructors during your initiation process. I usually work in the control room. My name is Four.” 

Lucy Gray Baird snorts next to me and I warily eye her, Four doesn’t seem like the type of person you want to upset. “What, like the number?” She asks, and Four presses his lips into a thin line, “Yes, like the number. Now, I’m going to show you all to the Pit, it’s mainly compos–” 

“The Pit,” Lucy Gray Baird cuts him off with another laugh, “Y’all sure have a clever way of naming things around here. Were One, Two, and Three taken?” 

I close my eyes and wait for the reprimand, she has to learn to be quiet. I expected this type of behavior from Candor, they always speak their minds but Amity are usually more quiet. When I open my eyes, Four is standing right in front of us, Lucy Gray Baird more specifically. He looks scary. 

His jaw is clenched and his blue eyes pierce into her like he wants to snap her in half.

He probably could.

“What’s your name?” He asks quietly, which for some reason is much more scary than him yelling at her. Lucy Gray Baird swallows but she stands her ground and raises her chin, “Lucy Gray Baird,” she tells him matter-of-factly. I can’t help but admire her confidence. She’s very pretty, with pink blush on her cheeks and her curls styled nicely. 

I must look so plain standing next to her. 

Four leans a little closer to her, “Well Lucy, the first lesson you’ll need to learn about being Dauntless, is to keep your mouth shut. Got it?” 

Lucy Gray Barid furrows her eyebrows, “Lucy Gray,” she corrects. Four straightens up and raises an eyebrow, “Keep your mouth shut, Lucy Gray.” 

He’s walking away before she can even come up with a reply and he waves at us to follow him down a corridor. Lucy Gray scoffs and gives Dorothea and I a look, “Well isn’t he a ray of sunshine?” Dorothea smiles and shakes her head, “Just gotta stay out of his way until initiations are over. He’s probably sick and tired of training a bunch of initiates.” 

I nod, she’s right, Dauntless initiation is bound to be more intense than Abnegation’s initiation. You spend thirty days performing community service acts and then on the last day, existing members of the Faction wash your feet and then you all eat a meal together. 

As we approach what is called the Pit, I can already tell that this will be nothing like Abnegation.

The Pit is something else.

It’s huge, wide and open. There are paths and ledges running all up the Pit, with people running as if they won’t fall to their deaths. I see children skipping near the edge and resist the urge to tell them to be careful. 

“Wow,” Dorothea whispers, her brown eyes wide in awe. 

I nod because there really isn’t much else to say. People are milling around below us, some are fighting although it looks more like playful banter and others are talking, laughing, and drinking. Everyone is covered in tattoos. I look over at Four who doesn’t seem to have any tattoos but maybe they’re smaller and less noticeable. 

I don’t think I will get a tattoo. 

Next, we’re taken to what looks like a bridge of some sort, made of grates with a metal railing. Below is a large river that rushes so quickly that I don’t think even the Dauntless would try to swim in it.

“This is the Chasm,” Four yells over the water, “do not fall off of this bridge unless you want to take a swim with death. Someone takes the plunge every year, it’s happened before, and it will happen again. You’ve been warned.” I swallow and edge away from the ledge that instantly drops off into the Chasm. 

We follow Four down a few more corridors and I notice a tattoo peeking out from his shirt. Dorothea elbows me, “He sure is scary huh?”

Intimidating is the word I would use but I’ve only just met him. “He’s…something,” I finally say before he pushes open two large doors. The room we’ve been led to looks like our sleeping quarters. Four walks down the few steps and turns around to look at all of us with an unimpressed look on his face, as if we’ve already disappointed him. 

“This is where you’ll be sleeping until initiation is over,” he tells us, “the bathrooms are over there.” One of the boys in our group pipes up, he’s tall like Will but his hair is a lighter shade of brown, he’s from Candor, “Is this dorm for the girls or the boys?”

A small smile appears on Four’s face, “Both. You have five minutes to get changed and go to the mess hall.” 

A murmur passes through our group at the premise of all of us sleeping together in the same room. I’ve never slept in the same room as a boy before, or anyone for that matter. 

This is what you do in Dauntless, I tell myself as I claim my bed next to Lucy Gray’s, you sleep in the same room as boys and you don’t care. But I do care, and I miss my father and my hurts from where I cut it. But none of that matters now.

꧁ ꧂

I follow Dorothea and Lucy Gray over to the bathroom where clothes have been provided for us. Dauntless clothes. 

They’re baggy and unflattering but I know that we have to conform as soon as possible. I feel somewhat self conscious as we all change, even though no one looks in my direction. Once we’re dressed we throw our clothes into a fire pit, forever burning away my last ties to Abnegation. 

I linger for a moment, watching the gray clothing that used to be my identity burn away into ash. Lucy Gray doesn’t hesitate to chuck her colorful clothing into the fire and even dusts off her hands before leaving to go find the mess hall. I bite my lip but follow her, I can’t afford to get lost.

꧁ ꧂

The mess hall is the loudest room I’ve ever been in. 

Everyone is yelling, gesturing with their hands while they eat. The room falls silent once our group walks in and Casca stands up from his table, his voice booming throughout the room, “Here’s to this year's initiates!” All the Dauntless members repeat the phrase as they raise up their cups before turning their attention back to their conversations and I suddenly have no idea where to sit. 

“Let’s go over there,” Dorothea nods to one of the tables near the back that’s empty. I nod, “Good idea.” We all squeeze through the crowd and when we finally reach the table I’m surprised to see that Four is sitting there as well. I thought he might eat with his friends but maybe he prefers to be alone. 

We sit on the other end and the girls immediately go to fill their trays with different types of food. I grab a round piece of brown meat between my fingers and furrow my eyebrows, I’ve never seen this before. Lucy Gray is already eating and tilts her head, “Have you never seen a hamburger before?” She asks, her mouth full. I shake my head and put it on my tray, “I think we have very different diets in our Factions.” 

Dorothea hands me a small dish of red sauce, “Load some ketchup on it, makes it taste much better.” I give her a grateful smile, I already feel like I’m falling behind and we haven't even started yet. “Can we sit here?” I look up to see Will from Erudite and another boy next to him, the boy who asked about the dorms. Lucy Gray flashes him a smile, “Sure you can.” 

It’s strange to sit with so many different people from different Factions. 

“Do you miss your Amity clothes?” Dorothea asks Lucy Gray, “I always thought you guys had such pretty colorful clothes.” Amity is always so colorful and cheerful. I could never fit in there. 

Lucy Gray shakes her head and grabs a tomato from the plate in the middle of the table, “I will miss the colorful clothes, the Covey love color, me more than most, but I knew I had to leave, get a taste of somethin’ different.” I understand that to some degree, the desire to get out. 

Will takes a bite of his burger before speaking, “The Covey? What’s that? I never read about it in any of the textbooks.” Dorothea rolls her eyes, “Why am I not surprised that you spent most of your time drowning in textbooks?” Will scoffs and points at her, “There’s no shame in wanting to be educated, at least I don’t say the first thing that comes to my mouth.”

I watch the two bicker back and forth in fascination because while they’re arguing, there’s no animosity between them and they’re both smiling. Lucy Gray holds her hand up, “All right y’all are gonna drive me nuts with the bickering. And the Covey, my friend, are a band of traveling musicians. We traveled all over the place before the first war but after the second war, couldn’t go anywhere.” 

Will hums and taps the table, “So if you lived in one of the Districts, you most likely would’ve been in a southern one, like Eleven or Twelve.” Lucy Gray shrugs, “The way my cousin Barb Azure tells it, the Covey traveled all over the Districts before there were Districts if that makes sense. Then we all got rounded up and now what’s left of us are in Amity.”

 

Hearing about other people’s families is fascinating to me. I’ve grown so used to it being just my father and I that I’d forgotten that there are larger families out there with long ancestral trees. 

“My parents say we would’ve been in District Four,” the other boy says, his name is Jessup and he’s from Candor as well. Dorothea takes a sip of her water before speaking up, “Mine say we would’ve been in Two.” Lucy Gray sighs, “Wish we could go anywhere and everywhere, but my other cousin Tan Amber says we would’ve been stuck in Twelve.”

Lucy Gray has a lot of cousins.

Will is still eating so I guess it’s my turn to share, “We would’ve been in Twelve too,” I say quietly and Lucy Gray grins, “Then we were bound to be friends,” she decides.

I haven’t ever had a friend before, but maybe that might change here in Dauntless.

“We would’ve been in Nine,” Will says while eating his burger, “they specialized in Grain production.” Dorothea giggles, “Would’ve pegged me for District Three considering how smart you are.” 

I glance at the other end of the table at Four whose eyes are trained on his tray although I’m sure he’s been listening. “What District would you have been from?” I ask before I can shut my mouth. I don’t know what compelled me to ask but it’s too late to take it back now. 

He looks over at me and pins me down with his gaze, “What makes you think you can talk to me?” He asks, his voice cold and harsh. We all go quiet at his question but I don’t back down, even though I should, I don’t.

“Must be because you’re so approachable,” I say, “like a bed of nails.” 

Lucy Gray snorts into her cup of water and my ears turn hot as I wait for the backlash and the lecture about talking back to my instructor but instead, he just grabs his cup of water, “Careful Soarynn,” is all he says before turning back to his food. 

“You my friend, have a death wish,” Dorothea whispers. 

I shrug, maybe I do, maybe I don’t. 

Jessup and Dorothea launch into a funny story about something that happened at Candor headquarters and while they’re talking I see Casca from the corner of my eye. He’s walking towards us. Four, more specifically. He sits down next to me but doesn’t even acknowledge me. 

“Just the man I was looking for,” he says, slapping Four on the back, too hard to be playful.

Four grunts, “Can I help you Casca?”

Now that I’m as close as can be, I notice that Casca not only has several tattoos on his face, but piercings as well. Rings through his lips and eyebrows, and the holes stretch when he smiles. “Max has been looking for you, asking for you. Says whenever he goes to your apartment you aren't there.” There’s animosity behind Casca’s words, like he’s bitter about something. 

Four nods, “Tell him that I am satisfied with the job position I currently hold.” 

Casca raises his eyebrow and I inwardly cringe at how his skin stretches around the rings. Piercings can not be a fun experience.

“So he wants to offer you a job,” he concludes. Four hums, “Guess so.” Casca turns to look at me and I immediately look down at my tray, I don’t want to be caught staring. “Well, aren’t you going to introduce me Four?” 

All of us are quiet as we watch Casca and Four. I can’t tell if they’re friends but the way Four acts, I don’t think they’re friends. 

Four sighs and looks down at all of us, all wide-eyed. “This is Soarynn,” he nods at me, and Casca smirks, “The Stiff, how could I forget?” My fingers wrap tightly around my fork and I resist the urge to stab him in the neck with it. “That’s Dorothea, Will, Lucy Gray, and Jessup,” he finishes, “and I have somewhere to be.” 

I don’t want to be left alone with Casca who looks like he’d want to punch little kittens for fun but he stands up before Four does and clears his throat, “I’ll let Max know that you’re not interested,” he says before walking away. 

I can’t keep my mouth shut today it seems because I’m asking another question before I can stop myself, “Are you two friends?” 

The look Four gives me could turn me into stone. “We were in the same initiate group together. Lights out at ten o’clock,” he tells me before turning on his heel and walking away.

Jessup lets out a low whistle, “I wonder if part of the initiation is to learn how to be a complete asshole to everyone you meet.” Everyone but me laughs because I don’t think Four is…an asshole. He seems guarded. 

I would do well to be the same. 

| Part 3. |

| tumblr oneshot/drabble |

| Divergent x Hunger Games |

[marc--chilton]

idea: alphas in rut have their chest cavity expand such that they are physically incapable of speaking quietly (the way neanderthals couldn't, if my linguistics professor is to be believed). i think this would fit well with bellows, but i also think it would be hilarious.

do you like this idea? i'm picturing wilson trying to say something quietly and it coming out about twenty decibels higher than he intended and him becoming Flustered about it.

also, is it possible to get sick while in rut or heat? just imagining the misery of having a head cold at the same time as your body is telling you to find a mate. would not be pleasant. and and and does vicodin interfere with house's normal heat processes? like wilson's whiskey dick?

oooo but like what if chest expansion, but instead of it going max boom, it just toes the impolite volume level so wilson (who is canonically anxious in conversation anyway) would be putting his whole brainpower into Being Quiet, which of course means he fucks it up more. but he stops getting embarrassed about it when he's on house arrest for his rut bc soundproofing is just commonplace in omegaverse housing, and he physically can't be quiet for his ruts since he's just chatty in bed as normal anyway.

and yes, you can very much get sick. post-heat syndrome is a thing itself, not a virus so much as it is just the body struggling to acclimate back to normal functions -- and is more commonplace in omegas who don't get proper care during their heats, like someone forcing them to eat at least a little something and have a drink even if they don't feel like it (wilson manages to trick house into eating during his heats by starting to eat whatever himself. it sets off that little bell of Want To Steal Wilson's Food so he does. realizes usually he eats whatever he steals, but he's not hungry.... but he has to prove his point so he just glares at wilson while he eats. it rarely ever fails)

house's vicodin misuse + chronic pain (his leg spasms terribly during his heats) both contribute to him not being able to slick enough for sex sometimes. he's no stranger to little blue pills either so this is just another bitter point for him to hate himself for. not only is he a male omega, the most uncomfortable gender for his father, but he's not even a good one. only ever came to know he was pregnant once and in the same breath was told he wasn't anymore, we're so sorry. now he can't even do the barest minimum of being an easy fuck for the too-good-to-him alpha that is wilson

(it's a stupid self-pitying spiral and he knows it. it's just familiar fare at this point though, and he's a creature of habit)

[thinkingofausername]

@redwingedwhump *in a grave voice* It's time.

Get comfy cause the commentary continues and I've got time on my hands.

Chapter seven

Conroy waking Harrow up with a slap? Beautiful. Effective. Kinda hilarious, honestly.

Descriptions are as perfect as always. Simple but they paint a clear picture in your head. I can see Harrow strung up in that cell so well I might as well be in there with him.

Conroy, a purifier, also being a healer? Immaculate irony.

Harrow slowly noticing all the changes on him, the way he was handled whilst unconscious? Chills, at just the thought of experiencing that.

"I've never bowed to any god and I don't intend to start with yours." OH MY GOD???? Iconic as ever, Harrow.

Harrow taunting and getting slashed across the face? I find that more funny than I should, probably. (him not immediately registering the pain was a beautiful addition)

"There go my plans for tonight." I LOVE THIS SELF-DETRIMENTAL FOOL SO MUCH.

"What? You're asking me??" Harrow, baby, you're the cult leader here, who else would he be asking??? lol

Harrow getting choked is as fun as always.

Conroy being as skilled as he is at his job never fails to give me goosebumps. I can't even imagine the things he knows about the human body and how he could morbidly use them to his advantage.

Harrow straight up getting butchered, god damn.

"Shall we begin again?" GOD DAMN. Harrow, I'll bow in your place, cause this is straight up devastating.

Chapter 8

"It was a heady rush, like strong wine." I love this line so much.

For someone who enjoyed power so much to be stuck in a null space? Sounds terrifying.

Harrow flinching as the door opens and hating himself for it? AAAAAAAA.

"It was strangely surreal to feel something that wasn't hurting him." *sobs*

Harrow letting some bitterness seep through as he speaks to Emmet? Beautiful.

Harrow being subtly strict and clear about not wanting to talk about his burn scars? I love it.

Harrow not caring about the food possibly being drugged nor about Emmet wiping his face because he's so starved that's all he can focus on? Gorgeous.

Emmet promising the water isn't drugged and Harrow thanking him for it? That's so soft and sad I wanna cry.

Harrow letting Emmet blindfold him? He's so soft with that kid istg.

Chapter nine.

"You're making a good start of the day, Harrow." Said right after he was beaten and thrown on the floor like a sack of flower.

Harrow being blindfolded, naked, barefoot, collared and chained and pretty much dragged across cold stone? Literal chills down my spine.

AND HERE IS THE RACK LADIES AND GENTLEMEN - the one and only, infamous, legendary, iconic miss "Broke Harrow Of The Ashmadai". This scene started a movement and a revolution istg.

The fact Harrow was begging before he was even put on the rack is just beautiful.

Conroy never fails to impress and terrify me. He really gives you a glimpse of the Devil himself. Calmly explaining in a matter-of-fact way, exactly what's about to happen to you. He knows it so well because he's done it plenty times, caused pain to countless people, and you're about to be just one of them. Hearing of what's coming still is nowhere near enough to prepare you.

The desperation, agony, terror on Harrow's end and nothing but a stone cold attitude from Conroy are actually so chilling it's insane.

Chapter ten

Harrow waking up and remembering the events of last night and promptly throwing up? I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. I can't even fathom what it would be like to remember the feeling of your shoulders and knees being ripped from their sockets. I'm getting nauseous just thinking about it.

Harrow having to kneel on freshly healed knees, which were healed with a magic unsuited and painful for his body? God DAMN Conroy's relentless.

Conroy holding Harrow's cheek gently and stroking his hair? My GOD I feel sick. The trauma that would cause (and has) is absolutely insane. I can't imagine how Harrow could ever accept kindness and gentleness, let alone touch, after that.

The closeness, forced intimacy... I felt sick reading that for the first time and I still do. The number of things Conroy has ruined and defiled for Harrow is insane. The things meant to be done by a lover, a close and trusted person, those same things done by the man torturing and breaking you? Red, this is a masterpiece of trauma.

Conroy controlling Harrow's breathing? aaaaaaaaaaa. Harrow crying beneath the blindfold? AAAAAAAAAAAA.

Chapter eleven

Conroy casually talking about a painting as Harrow is strung up and open and struggling is just... a masterpiece. A Masterpiece. A clear, beautiful and eerie picture is engraved in my brain.

Harrow fainting and waking up to being strangled, again and again? OH MY GOD, RED.

"The throat is quite delicate, you know. Lifeblood, voice, breath, and spine are all there... all so easily crushed." I don't know why but I find this so beautiful. I've thought about these lines long after I saw them the first time. It's just so beautifully and visually phrased.

"Don't die of your pride - Beg, Harrow!" OH MY GODDDD?????? THIS LINE!!!!!!!! It literally encapsulated pretty much the whole story and point of it. It all comes down to that... Harrow's pride and all the ways it's ruined him.

Harrow losing his voice after being strangled is such a gorgeous thing - literal whumperflies.

Chapter twelve

Harrow realizing no one is coming, no one will know or care when he dies? I'M LITERALLY CRYING.

Red introducing us to the gods and goddesses through Harrow's recollection? Clever and useful.

"Don't think of burning. Fire is mine." Harrow comforting himself and escaping painful memories by reminding himself of his (maybe former) power is so saddening to me, for some reason.

Harrow curling up under the blanket and being left alone for the day? Thank god he got some reprieve but also I wanna cry at the mental image.

to be continued...

[little-lazuli]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

@risingsoleil WHY AM I ONLY SEEING THIS NOW 😭😭😭😭😭 Mahalo nui loa titah 🫶🏽🩵 and apologies for the long wait, for some reason I don’t get notifications about submissions from tumblr mobile.

Okie dokie, so I write for some K-pop groups I listen to, Asoiaf and Harry Potter. And going down the line from 1 to 5 my favorite fics I have written include:

1. Son || “Her family was shattered. And it was all her fault. She did it. She lost her baby boy. Her little Ronnie… her son was dead. Molly could only scream louder as that truth nestled into her soul.” ||

My baby, my jewel, my favor, my child. This fic was a result of my rabbit hole dive into Ronald Weasley fics that did his character justice cause wtf was that movie portrayal. They did Rupert dirty. So with this one, I built my own Slytherin Ron au (yes this was inspired by the icon themselves “Fate” by TheTrueSpartan) and the oneshot details a brief overview of moments in Ron’s life shared by Molly Weasley after she is led to believe that her son is dead. Son is part 1 of my Hiraeth series that details moments and other background notes following Ron’s sorting into Slytherin. Molly’s perspective for me was a critical aspect because I don’t think there anyone better that could convey the range of emotions one could feel without it ever being said/described. I mainly wanted readers to have a quick dive into Molly’s perspective to the whole dilemma and show a bit of how unconditional love may not be enough to sustain a relationship, I guess. But yes, by far my most cherished work to date.

2. Intruder || “His soul alone would have never forgiven himself if he didn’t exact the justice he deemed fit upon those that threatened or harmed what was his. And this home—the other members, Jongho—all of it was his.” ||

Ahhhhh! Thank you so much to a person going by the alias Inoxy on Ao3 for the motivation to do this one. Intruder was a sequel to my brief little oneshot called Alone, where Hongjoong realizes someone broke into their dorm where Jongho is alone and sick. Intruder follows up immediately with Jongho’s pov before jumping to Hongjoong’s and seeing how he reacts to what is left. This one was so difficult not in the sense that angst is hard to put from mind to paper, but rather I struggled to write certain actions scenes and instead opted to go another route. As the first work to be written out of complete motivation from such a kind and thoughtful reader, Intruder remains one of my babies forever and always.

3. Leave || “All of it was culminating, Donghyuck knew that for sure. Bound to rupture and ensnare both his heart and theirs. And Donghyuck was terrified of which way the coin was going to land.” ||

EEEEEEEE!! Where do I start with this one? Well, Leave follows the journey of Donghyuck who finds himself a portal between his world and the second dimension and let’s just say, it isn’t always bright where the sun shines. His members’ doppelgängers are not so okay on letting him go and things might just take a turn for the worst. I got this idea from a typical genre where I love watching my biases suffer and watching the world be served justice prior to the happy ending they deserve. And it was the first nct fic I ever wrote and loved the semi-open ending.

4. Verdict || “Daphne promised him something in those short and bitter moments before he was led away like some damn game waiting to be slaughtered. Promised she wouldn’t rage over him. Promised she wouldn’t exact some form of petty revenge on Dawlish, or Head Auror Robards or even that blasted excuse of a minister, Kingsley Shacklebolt for not stepping in sooner. Of course she didn’t keep that damned promise.” ||

Part six of my Hiraeth series, (my Slytherin Ron au) Verdict was a tough one for me because it was the first time I was writing for… essentially one of the npc’s of a major franchise. I wanted to find a set balance between a true canon character and a OC who’s life is forever changed because of my au. And I think achieved that with Daphne’s pov in this one as she awaits Ron’s verdict. It was also really fun to create the scene where Molly finally sees Ron again after believing him to be dead in this au and for that, Verdict holds a special place in my heart.

5. Sing || “Taeyong hated the mere thought of death having their way with his son. It was a cruel twist of fate on both ends.” ||

And finally Sing. This oneshot was originally a Deckerstar fic that I rewrote and revamped to be a nct vampire au. I enjoy a quick sucker punch of angst every now and again so I made this au where Taeyong has to say goodbye to his childe/son and his only spawn Haechannie :)) the original long au followed the basis of Taeyong being too dependent and passive of the things he has in his very long life and how all of that comes to an end after another magical being takes revenge on Taeyong through Hyuck. And yuppers, that was that.

Thank you for attending my Ted talk yall and lemme just say, this was so fun. I’m going to tag my next five, please don’t feel pressured at all and I hope y’all have a beautiful rest of you day 🩵

Tagging @atiny-piratequeen @jacksons-goddess-gaia @kimnamshiks @atiny-dazzlinglight @thelargefrye