#and tbh he grooms every boy he comes across as well

[hiv-live-laugh-love]

i was talking to a friend the other day abt revolutionary girl utena and we came to the conclusion that the cultural notion that the ability to financially spoil one's romantic partner is an essential part of being a good boyfriend/husband is probably a contributing factor in the grooming of teenage girls

[itsonlydana]

Heyo Dana :D you have the same name as one of my irl friends lol, anyways can I get a sbi + winged little sibling reader? Like maybe hybrid school au and their the only winged hybrid so they feel a bit out of place or smth- idk it's just an idea I needed out of my brain. Anyways have a good day and make sure you drink some water and eat something!!

"those who don't mind matter"➷ sleepy bois inc

➛ pairing: c!sbi & winged sibling!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

➛ idea: being the only winged hybrid in your new school took a toll on your self-confidence, but that is nothing that can't be fixed by some good old cuddling on the couch with your family

➛ words: 2,1k

➛ tags/warnings: fluff, tiny bit of hurt/comfort, swearing

➛ an: your friend is like soo cool because of that name! I apologize for how long it took me to write this- tbh i lost motivation to write sbi for a while but now i finally sat down and wrote it in one go. Hope you enjoy it anon!

important links: rules + masterlist

🌿 reposts and comments are appreciated, they motivate me a lot and keep me writing <3

you were never insecure about your wings - how could you be when from an early age you were praised by your family for them and any insecurity was smothered in the bud before they could even sprout

even if three of your older brothers were wingless, they tried their best so that you would not feel different. You loved each other for your differences

especially in the early days when your wings were growing and you had to learn how to use them, you did not feel alone, for Phil walked every step with you by his hand and guided you through all the new and unfamiliar things that he had to go through as well

he gave you flying lessons with Techno, Will and Tommy cheering you on from the ground (and rushing to help when it looked like you were going to crash)

all four of them helped you preen your wings, a task each of them performed with care, pride and honor. It was hard for you to groom your wings alone, but as soon as you realized it was time again, all you had to do was sit in front of one of your brothers, and immediately they knew what to do

it was relaxing and strengthened the bond and trust between you all the more, made you feel like family even if you were not blood related

when the invitation to Hybrid School came, Phil was the most excited and raved about the wonderful memories of his school days filled with friendships and adventures. You just had to bring up the subject and a dreamy smile spread across his face and his gaze disappeared into the distance

even if you weren't sure what it would be like to be in a new environment with complete strangers and to be away from your family for several hours a day, Phil was happy enough for both of you - besides, things couldn't be all that bad

The front door clicked into place with a barely audible "clack," and the handle was released as quietly as it could be with that creaky thing. It seemed to work, because the clatter of dishes from the kitchen didn't stop, nor did the clamor of Tommy and Will from the brightly lit living room. You would have to pass both rooms to walk up the stairs to your own bedroom, and so you stopped indecisively in the dark hallway, the straps of your backpack clutched tightly in your hands. 

From the smells coming from the kitchen, Phil was probably cooking your favorite meal, just as he had promised you: "After your first day of school, I'll cook you whatever you want and then you can tell us how great it was!" You were looking forward to finally being able to wish for dinner without Tommy complaining, but now you weren't sure if you would be able to eat a single bite; even swallowing was difficult because of the lump in your throat. And then there were the rocks in your stomach and the loss of appetite, despite the prospect of your favorite freshly cooked meal that Phil must have gone to extra trouble for today. 

You leaned slightly to the side, brushing off your one shoe with one foot and then the other, pushing the pair you'd already worn through to the pile of other shoes lying around in front of the shoe rack where only Phil's shoes were on the otherwise empty bars. Unfortunately, in doing so, you stepped on one of the floor ledges, which groaned loudly enough at even the slightest touch to wake the whole house. Tense, you held your breath.

"(y/n)?" you heard Phil call over the rumbling that was coming from the living room.

Crap

Before you could answer, the blond was already poking his head into the hallway, as expected a gleam on his face that made your worry of disappointing him run cold down your neck. "I didn't hear the door at all. Take off your jacket and come in, dinner's almost ready. You don't even have to help anymore, just sit at the table. I'm sure you can't wait to tell us about your day, we're all very excited mate!" 

During his flow of words you could hardly look Phil in the eye. Instead, you dropped your backpack on the floor. For a moment you considered storming up the stairs and fabaricading your door. If you didn't get out, the others couldn't get in either, and you wouldn't have to answer any questions, and you wouldn't have to get out tomorrow!

The plans you made in your mind were thwarted by two giants rushing out of the living room, because suddenly you found yourself in the arms of Will and Tommy and how could you keep your dams up? 

A sob drowned out every sound and silenced the excited questions of your brothers and one sob was followed by another and within seconds you were pressing your tear stained face against Will's familiar yellow sweater. It happened in a matter of seconds, the crash in the kitchen as Phil dropped everything and stormed into the hallway. Even Techno's room door on the second floor opened, even if he couldn't possibly have heard the crying, and flew down the stairs.

"What happened? Did something happen?" asked Techno, visibly ready to take on anyone who was even slightly to blame for your condition.

"(y/n), hey everything is fine," Will tried to reassure you, one arm wrapped around you and the other patting your head lovingly. You didn't want to let go of him at all, your hands were clasped behind his back in an attempt to feel caught again after a day of completely out of control situations. 

"School was awful," your tears quickly soaked the sweater, as soon as you started crying you couldn't hold anything back. All day you had been suppressing these feelings, trying not to let on how overwhelmed you felt being alone in this new environment and now that you were back with your family it was impossible to keep these walls up. Their love was overpowering, you didn't want to hide from them. 

A meaningful silent conversation took place over you between your brothers, after which you stepped from the dark hallway into the warmth of your living room - you continuing to press against Will, for you dared not look Phil in the eye. 

A cool glass of water and a shuffling around on the couch until everyone had found their place, later, you told your family about the day you'd just had. You began by saying how impressed you were with the old walls of the castle, which had served as a school for hybrids of all kinds for centuries now, and how you couldn't take your eyes off the battlements, sloping towers, and magical-looking courtyard. However, the magic of the castle and the feeling of being a part of something big and secret faded as soon as you stepped into the hall with all the other first-years and quickly realized that you were the only one with magnificent feathers. Of course, there were fairy hybrids whose fragile glassy wings glistened in the sunlight, and there had been a group of older dragon hybrids with gigantic leathery wings that could fling you into the air with a powerful push, but no one was like you. You had been startled to realize that....

"I was completely alone," you finished your narration, and again quickly drank a sip of water before tears could once again make their way up. With that burden lifted from your shoulders for the time being, you leaned against Phil to your right, exhausted. He didn't look disappointed at all, you noticed from the angle you were resting on his shoulder, much more sympathetic and as he looked down at you a warm smile played around his lips. 

Tommy, sitting next to Phil with the armrest at his back and his legs intertwined like a pretzel, again screwed up his face. "But just because no one else has wings like yours, doesn't mean you're alone! There are a lot of kids and really none of these thousands wanted to be friends with you?"

"Can't get more insensitive than that, can you?", Will clicked his tongue before poking you in your left side. "You can never expect too much from your first day. Most people are overwhelmed with it anyway because it's new and unfamiliar. Don't let it get you down that you haven't found anyone to get into mischief with yet. I'm sure that will come once you all get settled." Even though he was right somewhere, you didn't dare approach anyone either, it was different. 

Remembering back to the introductions in your class, how everyone had some friend or sat together in groups. "No one will want to talk to me," you sighed, raising your glass only to mumble in it as you drank, "Not after one of the cool guys said I looked like a pulled chicken."

"HE DID WHAT?" Techno's previously quiet voice filled the room like a thunderclap, sudden and loud enough to make you flinch. The pink-haired man's red eyes were able to pierce a hole through you with the sharpness in them, and you were glad that the anger wasn't really directed at you, otherwise you would have been guaranteed to run for the hills by now. Techno's back was pushed straight through, his thighs strained, and he looked like it was costing him everything not to jump up from his usually comfortable position next to Will. Will, however, didn't really look calm either, his soft gaze had become hard and he gritted his teeth under his tense jaw. 

You looked from the twins, who looked more alike than ever at that moment, to Tommy. His jaw lay ready to be picked up from the floor. 

One hand rested on your thigh, the other under your chin, turning your head so that you looked at Phil. He spoke your name softly, quietly and gently and full of warmth that put a band-aid on all the wounds of the day. "First, and it's the most important thing you need to know in your life, is that you are perfect just the way you are," he began and you were almost ready to cry again. You made an effort to keep looking him in the eyes, even if Phil seemed more hurt about these events than you were "and secondly, you can't let comments like that get to you, okay? The ones who think they can judge you aren't important, but the ones who don't mind matter." 

"Because they're complete bullshit!" shouted Tommy indignantly, and despite the expletive, he was not admonished by Phil. Instead, the elder nodded in agreement, which only spurred the young blond to continue, "They're talking trash, irrelevant lies because they're idiots! Jerks! Ass-"

Before he could utter the last expletive, there came an urging, long-drawn-out "Tommy" after all, to which he only gave you a braces-presenting satisfied grin. 

"Phil he's right" Will fell back into the couch cushions behind you and threw his legs up on the small coffee table in front of you "The little rug rat has no idea who he's messed with" 

"Messed with?" Alarmed, Phil tensed next to you and his eyebrows shot up at Techno's nod. 

"Messed with" Techno confirmed, looking thoughtfully around the room "We could come with you tomorrow and dangle him off one of the towers"

"Or we could dunk him in the fountain for revenge, then he'd have to walk around with wet pants on" Tommy suggested.

"Or," Phil firmly interrupted the creative exchange of ideas on how your brothers could get back at the boy "Or we approach the teacher and settle it without violence"

The three boys sighed, you began to grin. At the saddened faces, you leaned back against Will, patting Techno with one hand and smiling at Tommy. "I'm very grateful to you, but you don't have to be my bodyguards. I can handle it on my own. It was just a stupid comment from someone I don't know and from now on I'll just stay away from him."

Before you knew it Phil's wings spread out behind you all, pressing you all closer until you were lying in a heap on top of each other, arm in arm, some foot half in your stomach, but together. Maybe tomorrow wouldn't be so bad, maybe you'd even meet a friend with whom you could do all the nonsense Phil had experienced in his time at school.

And if things didn't go well, the four self-proclaimed bodyguards sitting outside the school gate in sunglasses would immediately come to the rescue.

[skiller0dani]

NSFW Alphabet | JJ Maybank

M A S T E R L I S T Outer Banks Masterlist

smut requests info

hope you enjoy, love you all. 

AFTERCARE (what he’s like after sex)

so JJ is used to random hook ups and aftercare wasn’t always something he did

he did if he was in the mood 

most of the time hook ups were a way to release pent up frustration 

and when he’s mad he doesn’t do aftercare

until he started dating you

now he goes a little over the top with aftercare

he massages you with lotion afterwards

gets you water and snacks if you want them

hot water bottle if you’re sore

sometimes draws you a bath

boy really loves you & wants to take care of you 

BODY PART (his favorite body part of his & yours)

JJ loves every single inch of your body

but deep down he’s an ass man

loves to see the round curve of your ass in those tight jeans you wear

and your bikini? 

lets just say JJ has a lot of unwanted boners whenever you’re in a swimsuit

which is often during the summer

you can always count on JJ to pin you against the wall and grab a handful of that perfect ass of yours at least once a day

CUM (anything to do with cum, basically)

JJ thinks your cum tastes good

which is kind of embarrassing when he talks about it too much

sometimes he talks about your cum just to see you get all bashful about it with rosy cheeks

funnily enough JJ thinks his cum is kinda gross though

“ew it got on me!” 

“that’s your cum JJ!” 

he usually cleans it off your right away though

he doesn’t want it to get tacky on your skin

which grosses him out more

DIRTY SECRET (a dirty secret of his)

JJ, for some reason, is embarrassed about the fact that he tends to be a little gentler in bed then people expect

it’s an inside joke among the pogues that JJ is a rough lover

which you discovered is not really true

he can be rough, but normally he isn’t

he’s rough when he gets possessive

like when Rafe and his little group flirt with you to piss JJ off 

you can bet that night JJ will be pounding into you so hard you won’t be able to walk for a few days

JJ can also get rough if he’s angry 

if someone pisses JJ off for any reason you can count on getting thrown around a little

but he doesn’t throw you around too much, he would never hurt you

it’s all consensual though, JJ would never do that if he knew you didn’t want him to

EXPERIENCE (how experienced is he? does he know what he’s doing?)

JJ, much to your dismay, is very experienced while you were very inexperienced

by the time you two had sex the first time he had already been with 4 girls before you

JJ had to teach you everything about sex

he was very sexually ambiguous for a 17 year old 

JJ has never been ashamed of his sexual past, but when he started dating you he did feel a little guilty when he saw how much it bothered you

it only bothered you so much because you were a virgin before JJ

you’ve never been with anybody before JJ, and he’s had a lot of sexual partners 

and you would be lying if you said it didn’t bother you

because it does

a lot 

that’s why JJ doesn’t really bring it up

FAVORITE POSITION (this goes without saying tbh)

any position he gets to fuck you is his favorite position

JJ always says “there’s way too many to pick just one!”  

a personal favorite of yours is when you get to ride him

JJ is always takes the lead when it comes to sex 

so he’s always watching you come undone

and when you ride him you get to see him come undone

and boy is it a beautiful sight

head tossed back against the bed

eyes squeezed shut

little whimpers escaping his clenched teeth

his hands holding your hips tightly to still control the pace

even when you top, JJ needs to be in control somehow

you can’t help but whine whenever you see his bottom lip pulled between his teeth

it truly is an honor to watch JJ cum

GOOFY (is he more serious in the moment? more humorous? etc)

he is both evenly 

most of the time, JJ is goofy 

he hardly even takes day to day life seriously

so most of the time JJ is cracking jokes and trying to make you laugh

and he spends a decent amount of time trying to make you blush

but when JJ gets upset he’s an entirely different person in the bedroom

his jaw is always locked, and his gaze is dark and lustful 

he doesn’t crack any jokes, and doesn’t goof around

if someone made a move on you then JJ is usually pretty pissed off during sex

sometimes he’s gotta remind you who you belong to

HAIR (how well groomed is he? does the carpet match the drapes?)

trimmed a little but honestly JJ isn’t too concerned about it

you don’t care if he upkeeps his pubes or not so neither does he

he does if the bush gets to crazy but other than that he leaves it alone

they’re a shade darker then his hair

so like a dark dark blonde

INTIMACY (how is he during the moment? is he romantic?)

unless he’s angry, JJ is very intimate during sex

before JJ started dating you, he had sex just to get off

he had sex with girls because it felt good

there was no closeness in it, no intimacy

but with you sex is very intimate

it’s never about just getting off

every time he has sex with you 

even when he’s angry and pounding into you 

he’s showing you how much he loves you in the only way he knows best

while it’s true that JJ had a lot of sexual partners before you, none of them really showed JJ what sex could be like

that it could be so fucking good 

because with them it felt good, but nowhere near as good as it feels to have sex with someone you love

JACK OFF (masturbation headcanon)

JJ jacks off a lot more then he used to

because when you’re not in the mood, or if you’re busy then he has to find some way to relieve himself

before you JJ would hit up every one of his booty calls until one of them agreed to come over

but he would never cheat on you so if you turn down sex, JJ waits 

and while he waits he jerks off to satiate him until you’re ready

and he never rushes you because he’s not an asshole

he waits patiently because this sweet boy loves you very much

KINK (one or more of his kinks)

he hasn’t outwardly admitted it but you think JJ has a secret daddy kink

he loves when you do exactly what he says

he loves being in total control

he loves the trust that comes with it, when you physically show him that you trust him enough to do whatever he says without question

it’s comforting to know you trust him not to hurt you

he calls you little girl during sex a lot

which you love

“gonna cum for me little girl?” 

“yes daddy please,” 

it accidentally slipped out. really you didn’t mean to say it

but as soon as you did, JJ groaned softly

and his pace quickened a little

you could tell that he liked that

so you decided to “accidentally” say it more often

LOCATION (favorite places to do the deed)

JJ is a borderline exhibitionist 

he likes the thrill of almost getting caught

but most of the places he chooses to rail you are places that couldn’t be come across accidentally 

JJ can’t bring himself to risk someone else seeing you naked

or worse 

getting fucked

if some other guy saw that beautiful fucked out look on your face when JJ’s driving his cock into you

he’d probably beat the guy to death

so JJ gets his “fucking in public” fix in restrooms or other places with lockable doors

he’d never fuck you out in the open

MOTIVATION (what turns him on?)

e v e r y t h i n g

JJ is horny 92% of the day so anything you do is bound to turn him on

bending over? JJ is popping a boner

your shirt lifts to reveal your midriff? JJ is 100% popping a boner

stripping down to your bikini to get in the water? he’s rock solid before you even get your shorts off

and then he’s looking around to make sure nobody else is watching you strip

there was one time he caught Pope looking when you were getting ready to get in the water and JJ might have punched him

he pulled the punch though, so it didn’t even really leave a bruise

it hurt enough for Pope to never make that mistake again

he literally closes his eyes until he hears you get into the water now, Pope won’t even risk glancing in your direction 

he’s afraid of receiving JJ’s wrath if he’s caught looking again

NO (something he wouldn’t do, his turn offs)

anything that would cause you a lot of pain

he’s comfortable with inflicting you with a little bit of pain like spanking

but anything worse than that and JJ is out

once as a joke you asked JJ if you guys could try ‘blood play’ and JJ freaked out

“I would have to cut you Y/N, no fuckin’ way.” 

“I was just kidding baby.” 

JJ would prefer to make sex exciting in other ways

ways that can’t hurt you

like blindfolding you

using ice or feathers as stimulation

g e n t l e choking 

very gentle

JJ can’t hurt you, he physically won’t feel any joy from it

his dad has hurt him so much that JJ doesn’t like hurting anybody that doesn’t really deserve it

like Rafe, he definitely deserves it

ORAL (preference on giving or receiving, skill, etc)

JJ hates being that stereotypical guy but he really loves when you give him a blow job

you’re just so fucking good at it

when you wrap your lips around him, it literally takes his breath away

when you use your tongue on the underside, JJ feels his insides begin to squirm around

plus he doesn’t mind receiving more than giving too much because he knows how much you love sucking him off

sometimes you beg him to let you suck him off

and of course, JJ always says yes

you’re fucking hungry for his cock, and if you had it your way it would always be in your mouth

but just because JJ likes receiving more than giving doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to go down on you

because JJ is phenomenal at eating you out

some of the most mind blowing orgasms you’ve ever had have been with JJ’s head in between your legs

boy knows what he’s doing in that regard, he just doesn’t do it very often

which doesn’t bother you because he will happily do it if you ask him to

PACE (is he fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc)

depends on his mood, like all things

if he’s in a good mood, his pace is pretty moderate

not too fast but not too slow

if he’s in a really lovey dovey mood then his pace is slow and passionate

long and deep strokes to make sure you feel every inch

if he’s pissed off or jealous then his pace is quick and brutal

harsh snaps of his hips against yours and definite bruises on your hips from him holding you so hard

he always feels bad about the bruises

but you always reassure him and insist you love the bruises

which you do

QUICKIE (his opinions on quickies, how often, etc)

quickies are a pretty normal thing for you two

it’s quickies more often then anything else

a quick fuck in the Chateau’s bathroom before any of the pogues notice you’re gone

quickies in your room when you sneak away from the party because JJ took off his shirt and you decided you desperately needed his cock

it’s rare that you two get to take your time 

but when you can take your time, its some of the best sex you guys have

like it’s so good that it’s worth waiting for

but you’re not complaining too much because any sex you have with JJ is going to be amazing

RISK (is he okay with experimenting? does he take risks?)

yeah he’s okay with moderate risk

if it’s something that could get you in serious trouble then he absolutely won’t do it

if it puts you in a situation 

if it’s something that could hurt you or cause you pain then no he won’t risk it

he cares about your needs and your safety way more than his own

JJ doesn’t care if he gets in trouble and he doesn’t care if he gets hurt

his pain tolerance is really high so he almost never notices if he gets hurt during sex

like if you claw at his back too much and he’s bleeding

actually he loves it when you claw at him, and he loves it even more if you make him bleed

you usually end up looking out for him in the same way he looks out for you

you won’t let him do anything that could end up hurting him

STAMINA (how many rounds can he go for? how long does he last?)

JJ can go for 2-3 rounds before his dick physically will not get hard again

if he had it his way he’d fuck you all night, but he can’t 

which annoys him

boy can fuck you at Earth shattering speeds and hardly break a sweat

he’s got the energy of a hyperactive child when it comes to sex

sadistically that’s one of your favorite things about JJ, that he can fuck you for long periods of time without tiring

it makes sex exciting

TOYS (does he own toys? how much does he use them? on you or him?)

JJ definitely doesn’t own any toys but you do

and when he discovered this, he immediately brought it into your sex life

he loves watching you cum on a vibrator

he has a remote control one that he uses a lot so he can sit at the end of the bed and watch you cum without even touching you

he also got a small one that you sometimes use when other people are around

and JJ will randomly turn it on when you’re having dinner at Kiara’s 

and you can’t make any sound or act weird 

you always see that little smirk on JJ’s face from across the table when he sees you’re close

and he never lets you cum

UNFAIR (how much he likes to tease)

big tease energy

there was one night he was so frustrated that he teased you to tears 

he edged you so much that one thrust and you were cumming around his cock

he’s a tease in day to day life and in the bedroom go figures

but when JJ is trying to show you how much he loves you he never teases

he worships your body and will give you orgasm after orgasm until you’re a shuddering mess

VOLUME (how loud is he? what kinds of sounds he makes, etc)

JJ mostly just groans and swears under his breath

he says he doesn’t want to drown out all of your beautiful sounds with his own moaning

but your favorite is when JJ growls softly in your ear, or when he sucks a harsh breath in through his teeth when you clench around him

you’re the noisy one in bed 

and that’s the way JJ likes it

WILD CARD (random headcanon)

when you first started dating, JJ was actually really evasive about how many partners he’s had before you

he would get really quiet whenever you asked him and would never directly answer the question

until you cornered him in the Chateau, demanding to know how many people he’d been with 

“4...” his voice was soft, and he wouldn’t lift his eyes to meet yours

that was more then you were expecting, but you couldn’t be mad at him

he was single then and had completely cut off every girl he’d ever had sex with the second you two started dating

so you immediately forgave him which was a huge relief for him

X-RAY (let’s see what’s going on under the belt)

JJ is packing

a good 8 inches when he’s fully hard 

and he’s decently thick too

his cock reaches places inside you that make your toes curl 

JJ has never really described himself as someone with a big dick, but once he saw your eyes widen when he first had sex with you

he thought maybe he might be bigger than average

which you love

there’s always a delicious stretch when he first enters you

YEARNING (how high is his sex drive?)

JJ is down to have sex whenever 

he loves having sex with you and has a stupidly high sex drive

he needs sex at least twice a week or he’s going to be grumpy 

so it was sort of an adjustment when he first started dating you

because it was at least a month until he took your virginity

so he was pretty grouchy for that month that he wasn’t having sex

he didn’t mind though because he was dating you and that’s way better than sex

ZZZ (how quickly does he fall asleep afterwards?)

JJ doesn’t fall asleep too quickly after sex

but since he does most of the work during sex, he’s usually pretty tired

but when he lays down with you, he will spend a few minutes talking to you before he falls asleep

he can last a good 10-15 minutes before he’s too tired to keep his eyes open

so you curl into his chest and fall asleep in his arms

heaven :)

[awkwardspontaneity]

hi! i love ur writing sm and if ur still doing botw matchups, could i please request one? male matchups only please, but no daruk bc i cant see him romantically tbh. im female, taurus and an ENFJ. my first impression according to my friends is responsible, headstrong and cold (some of them said they were intimidated by me ;-;). however, once you get to know me i become a lot sweeter and more talkative. i like to take a leadership role, i'm intelligent and confident, although i can be quiet (🦋1)

Heyyy!! I'm so glad to hear you've enjoyed my writing so far and I'd love to do a match-up for you!! tbh I also don't see Daruk romantically. He's got those fun uncle vibes

I match you with...

Link🗡️

I think there would be a bit of a hurdle getting to know eachother because you're both quiet and can come off a little cold

But that cold vibe that can scare people away actually gives y'all something to connect over and makes you look like a badass power couple

I headcannon you as a vet in Hyrule, so you take care of the horses for the military and train them as well. This made your first meeting with Link a little easier because you had Epona there to give you something to talk about

You were giving Epona a checkup as Link stood to the side listening intently about all the things he can do to take even better care of here.

The next time you meet, you're grooming a horse when Link and Epona come in almost unrecognizable from all the mud. You try not to laugh but the stoic boy really looks so miffed you can't help but snicker.

You take pity and help him clean off his horse. You make idle chat, mostly about Epona and you find out that while out training Epona had thought it would be fun to run straight into a swamp- hence the mud.

This becomes a regular occurrence for you two- not the swamp part- but meeting up at the end of the day at the stables.

It takes a lot longer than it should for your relationship to progress. I swear Link has been trying to ask you out he just can never find the words. Every time he's around you or he hears you laugh he gets all flustered and goes even quieter than normal.

It's one night that Link has finally tapped into the courage of his to ask you out. You two are talking after you had finished your last checkup of the night. You're mentioning having to take a horse out for a ride tomorrow so you can make sure it's comfortable riding further distances before it goes to the military. Link is so busy trying to build up his nerves that he barely hears you call his name

"Link?" "Huh?" "Well, I was wondering if maybe... you'd like to go for a ride with me?"

It felt like a weight off his chest yet also like he just fell off a cliff. Did you really just beat him to it?? He's been gaping too long because you're snickering

The date goes really well. Link manages to get over the nerves when you remind him it's just you. You talk and laugh, ending the day with a race back to the castle. All in all, a great start to an amazing relationship.

You two have an easy going relationship, spending free time hanging out in the fields and just relaxing. Link finds it calming to be in your presence after a long day in the center of fighting and politics.

You have a secret way of communicating with Link when he's out protecting Hyrule and the princess. You'll make little origami hearts and other shapes out of notes with reminders about how much you love him and other things like reminders to drink water, eat, or just to relax his shoulders.

Link responds with having you test out new recipes he's trying. He loves to take time off for cooking and it's one of your ways to spend time together.

You enjoy cooking as well so you two have a lot of cooking dates. It's very domestic and cute the way you move around together like it's natural.

You've definitely had some kind of fight where one of you is checking if the noodles are cooked but instead of throwing them at the wall you throw them at eachother. Cue noodle war

I know I said it already but you two have such a badass couple/ damn I wanna be them vibe

You're both super chill and easy to talk to once people get past the cool demeanor

People always start off in awe, especially if you're on a horse because you make it look so easy. Even Link sometimes has to pause what he's doing to stare at you in your element.

Really any animal that you're taking care of just gets him all soft because you look so happy and calm. It's clear that you love your work and he could watch you for hours

He's embarrassed to admit he almost got beat in sparring when he saw you and got distracted. You saw it happen and sometimes you bring it up to see the red flush crawl up his neck and splash across his cheeks

Outside of everything going on in Hyrule, you two live very domestically. Link finds that no matter what goes on in his days, coming home to you makes it all better. Whether he talks about it or not, you sit with his head in your lap and comb through the tangles in his hair

Overall, you two have really good vibes. You're there for eachother through everything and you help eachother balance your lives.

Both of you are dedicated to your work and can get a little too into things. You balance eachother by making time that you spend together relaxing. If one of you notices the other is having a tough week, they organize a whole date night where you both can just be away from the stress of everything and be in your own bubble of love.

Very cute relationship 12/10 animal lovers who have soft cubes behind the intimidating demeanor you may give off

[imagineurfavs]

Astro - Cha Eunwoo A-Z

Who deleted all their requests before pasting it into here...?? ...this bitch...

----------

A - Aftercare Aftercare usually just consists of taking a super quick shower and changing the sheets if necessary. It’s very much a joint thing; he does stuff for you, but he expects some care in return lmao

B - Body Part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner) On himself he likes his eyes, he’s a sucker for deep eye contact as he pushes himself into you. On his s/o he likes their thighs/butt, the softer the better lol.

C - Cum He can get a little messy when he cums, which he’s honestly not a fan of. So he prefers to finish inside you purely for ease of clean up. Doesn’t mind using a condom, to him its just the most convenient.

D - Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) He has quite a lot of more dominant tendencies that he tries not to show too much just bc it doesn’t fit too well with his “flower boy” image, but anyone that knows Dongmin knows that he can have quite a bit of a temper (he is an aries after all lol). So he sees sex as a perfect outlet for all that pent up stress that he can’t let out anywhere else, a place where he can finally be the one setting the rules, not following them. 

E - Experience This is a tricky one...it’s no secret that he’s incredibly popular with the ladies; but he’s also a lot more shy than he usually appears, not to mention how busy he always is. He’s got a little experience, but he’s by no means an expert lol

F - Favourite Position Usually just ends up being missionary with your legs thrown over his shoulder. That way he can maintain eye contact and set the pace as much as he wants.

G - Goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous etc) Really not that goofy in the moment, he really gets in the zone and is definitely on the more serious side. It’s afterwards, when y'all are finally cleaned up and settled that he lets his soft ass self come out

H - Hair (how well groomed are they) I don’t think it’s something he’d really pay too much attention to. He wont let it get too out of control, but it’s not a priority lmao

I - Intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect) Eeeeh...I don’t think he’d be all that intimate tbh. He thinks it’s a given how he feels, otherwise he wouldn’t be sleeping with you. So he doesn’t really see the need to outwardly show any emotions in the moment, when he’s busy focusing on the task at hand lol.

J - Jack Off (Masturbation) Boy does it alot lol, it’s his favourite way to de-stress. You can almost guarantee before any big event or TV appearance that he’ll take himself off to the bathroom and go at it lol

K - Kinks (one of more of their kinks) A lil bit of pain; biting, spanking etc. Nothing that hurts a crazy amount but stuff that’ll for sure leave a mark. There’s nothing he finds sexier than watching a red hand print appear on your butt. He likes receiving this kinda stuff as well, aside from maybe the spanking, but he loves being bitten, scratched, etc...just keep it somewhere it wont be seen.

L - Location (Favourite places to do the do) Literally just the bedroom. That’s it. He’ll try it out in as many different places in said room; in the bed, on the floor, against the wall, on the desk etc but it has to stay in the bedroom.

M - Motivation (What turns them on) Loves it when you touch his thighs, even if it’s just in passing or even accidental, it riles him up so much lol. He loves it when he catches you staring at him from across the room too, bonus points if there’s a lot of people around, you can bet that he’ll be eye fucking you right back lol

N - NO (something they won't do, turn offs) Absolutely nothing that involves even anything slightly public. He doesn’t wanna risk any part of his private life getting out, largely for the sake of your privacy also. Everything saucy happens behind closed doors...alone...probably with the door locked also.

O - Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) He’s so messy with it omfg. He loves to make soooo much noise when he goes down on you like it’s honestly enough to make you blush lord almighty, he really goes out of his way to make the most lewd noises. Highkey loves going down on you for that exact reason, he likes to make you all bashful and embarrassed lmao. When receiving he likes to just lay back and let you do what you want to him lol.

P - Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc) He tends to keep more of a steady medium pace, but on certain days he can for sure get super rough...hold on tight lmao. He keeps a vice grip on your hips, there’ll always been tiny little marks left there from his fingertips.

Q - Quickies (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc) He wasn’t always a fan of quickies, but he’s grown to like them a lot more bc sometimes they're the only option. He’ll still only see them as a last resort though, if either of you have got somewhere to be but reeeeally can’t wait any longer.

R - Risk (are they down to experiment, do they take risks?) Nooooooope nope not down at all, sorry. Although, if you can promise him that it’ll be fun, and it wont leave the bedroom, then he might me down...maybe...but most likely not.

S - Stamina (how many rounds can they go, how long do they last? etc) I feel like he’s a one and done kinda guy lol. The rounds would be pretty average in length, but you’ll only get one out of him

T - Toy (do they own toys do they use them on a partner or on themselves?) Doesn’t own a whole lot, mainly bc he just doesn’t see the point, “why buy something to do what you could just do yourself...?” The most he might buy would maybe be some super fancy silk ties to use on you...they’d have to be super pretty though, can’t forget the aesthetic lol

U - Unfair (how much they like to tease) He’s SUCH a tease. He deliberately takes his time with every move he makes prior to actual sex lol, foreplay with Dongmin is a lengthy process lol. He loves testing your patience, watching you get more and more frustrated with him.

V - Volume (how loud are they, what type of sounds they make) He mainly makes more whimpery kinda noises and sighs. He can get pretty loud, but he’ll only let himself get loud if you are as well, he doesn’t wanna be the only one making noise.

W - Wild Card (a random headcannon) Is a bratty dom a thing? Bc that’s the energy Dongmin gives me lol. Like, as opposed to giving you any form of punishment if you dont listen to him, he’ll get kinda whiny and annoying. He for sure has a lil bit of a prince complex lol, like he wants to almost be kinda served and worshipped, and will definitely get bratty if he doesn’t get his way...

X - X-ray (what's going on inside those pants) Average in length, maybe a tiny bit thicker

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive) Honestly, I dont really think it’s all that high. BUT with that being said, when he does get in the mood, it happens all at once and very intensely sdsdg 

Z - Zzz... (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards) He’ll stay awake for a while afterwards. Depending on the time of day, he’s perfectly happy to get up and go do stuff, he doesn’t get too sleepy afterwards.  If you wanna sleep though, he’s more than happy to settle down and drift off with you 

[lassieposting]

Hey, I saw you did a hc thing for Scaracen/Dexter and I was wondering if you could do one for Ghastly/Skulduggery?? (I love the pairing but there is no content and it makes me sad) Hope you are having a good time :)

I genuinely thought I had done this for ghasdug but apparently not? I can't find it anyway

There is content in my ghasdug tag but tbh in my experience the ghasdug shippers are on discord mostly...hit me up

ANYWAY

So. Ghasdug. Ghastly wants skug from the start.

They're 16 when they meet. Ghastly gets a bit seasick and doesn't really want to go anywhere by ship, but his mama tells him he needs to, there's something important for him on that ship, that one right there, and he trusts her enough to know that she's clearly foreseen something and to just go with it.

By the time they get back to shore, he's already thinking, it's you. I was supposed to meet you.

They head back to Dublin together. Ghastly's mama takes one look at this awkward, skinny, skittish child and decides she's adopting him, and skug moves into their farmhouse and is subsequently freaked the fuck out by his very first experience of A Loving Family. Ghastly's mother like, hugs him and reminds him to wear a coat and clips his ear for swearing and makes sure he eats breakfast. He is semiferal and not used to any of this.

For a few months they settle into a comfortable routine:

- Ghastly's father spends the week making clothes, then does commission deliveries one day and takes hats and boots and suchlike to the market the next.

- Ghastly's mother has a job as a barmaid, where she gets to regularly crack some skulls and socialise, which is great for her because she is both a short-n-stocky powerhouse and a giant extrovert.

- The boys spend most of their time together, and they're supposed to do the bulk of the chores. It's not a large commercial farm - they have a vegetable garden, and some chickens, and an old carthorse, and maybe a couple of goats or a cow for milk and cheese. Ghastly and Skug are supposed to cut firewood and feed the animals and fetch groceries from the market and milk the milkable animal and fix this and repair that. All the things the parents dont have time for

Which. Is great in theory but skug has never had to do a hard day's work in his lazy aristocratic life, and develops a severe and immediate allergy to manual labour, so actually ghastly tends to do most of the chores while skug skives off and naps in the sun or chats up the girls who live on the neighbouring smallholding over the fence

And like, therein lies the problem, because they are both solidly in the grip of that cruel mistress called puberty and like. Skug was a fuckin weird-looking child. He had big ears and a sharp nose and a bunch of missing teeth and his limbs were all too long for him. But he's now rapidly growing into all the features that made him an unfortunate child, and it's already clear that he's going to be one of those people who will, inevitably, grow into handsome young men.

Which is like. Fine. Ghastly doesn't care. He's not jealous or anything. He doesn't feel a twinge when the neighbour girls only speak to him to ask about Skulduggery. Nobody here is bitter.

It's a good thing, he tells himself. Nobody will want to marry him anyway, so he's glad skug is around now so Mother can harass him to meet a nice girl and give her grandchildren. At least someone will probably want to have children with skug.

He has a dream about skug not long before his 17th. They share the attic room, and when he startles awake, skug is smirking at him from the opposite bed and asking "who is she?" and ghastly thinks oh no. He's painfully embarrassed and awkward about it, and skug rolls over and stretches and says, "relax, bespoke, your secret is safe with me" and all ghastly can focus on is that he's actually been putting some muscle on lately and when he stretches like that it does funny things to ghastly's insides.

- they start riding into town in the evenings to meet up with hopeless at the tavern, play cards and flirt with pretty girls. Or rather, skug flirts with pretty girls. He's all legs and freckles and elegant clothes, and they hang off his every word. Ghastly knows they will never look at him like that. He's Skulduggery's ugly friend. Girls only approach him to ask about skug

- and he gets it! Skug is unfairly attractive! And he's witty, and clever, and sometimes when ghastly wakes up first he stays very quiet so he can watch skug sleep, the way the dawn turns his hair to burnished copper, the way his curls fall across his forehead and the patterns his freckles make on his skin. Skug is an affectionate, tactile drunk, and hopeless looks at ghastly with something like pity whenever skug rests his chin on ghastly's shoulder or leans his head on ghastly's knee or wants a piggyback back to where they tied the horse, and ghastly takes what little he can get and says nothing.

- they're coming home drunk in the pouring rain one night, later than usual, riding doubled up on ghastly's carthorse. ghastly is behind, loosely holding on around skug's waist, and the whole way home all he can think about is how close they are and how much he wants to lean in and put his mouth on skug's neck, and by halfway home he's reduced to silently begging his semi not to pop a full on hard-on until they're home, when skug will crash like always and ghastly can take care of himself in private

- when they get home, they're locked out, which is what they get for coming home well after ghastly's parents are asleep, but this isn't a one off and ghastly's mother always leaves blankets for them to sleep in the barn. so they put the horse away and give her a rub-down/groom together and skug's shirt is practically see-through and his hair is plastered to his skull and ghastly can't take his eyes off the visible jut of collarbone where the neck of skug's shirt is undone and skug makes a couple jokes about it when their eyes meet, how ghastly has been brushing the same bit of horse for as long as it's taken skug to do half his side, but then the third time he laughs and teases, "if i didn't know better, bespoke, I'd say you wanted me" and ghastly will forever blame the alcohol but he doesn't even think about it? It comes out before he can stop himself, before he has time to remember what it could do to their friendship

- he says, "what if i did?"

- skug goes quiet for a minute, and it's a tense sort of quiet, not the thick, cloying tension that comes before a storm or an argument but the light, vibrating tension that comes with standing on a cliff's edge or drawing a bowstring, and then he ducks under the horse's head to come around to ghastly's side. He's still a little shorter than ghastly, still has to look up ever so slightly to meet his eyes.

- skug says, "do you?" like it's still half a joke, and there's a chance to back out right there, to laugh and deny it and let this become an amusing footnote at the bottom of their friendship, but ghastly ignores it. "yes."

- skug shrugs, his lip quirking, and says, "so have me."

- ghastly learns a lot that night. he also accidentally blurts "i love you" when he comes, but nobody's perfect and he's...relatively...sure skug was too distracted to have been paying attention, so he'll count that as a massive win

- morning finds them in the hayloft, tangled up in the blankets left out for them, regretting their choice of tavern beverages and, in ghastly's case, sporting a classic case of morning wood. He's kind of hoping he'll get lucky again with sleepy morning sex but skug is disgustingly hungover and just wants to burrow his head into ghastly's chest to block out the light and go back to sleep so like, out of luck.

- when skug has slept off the booze a bit more, Ghastly awkwardly broaches the question of "just how drunk were you" and they establish that they both remember fucking, neither of them regrets it, and the attraction is apparently mutual? Which is a mindfuck for self-conscious teenage ghastly, because, like, why tho

- they both get to do the walk of shame into the house when ghastly's parents wake up. Ghastly's shirt hides the nail marks skug left on his back nicely; sadly, the same cannot be said for the giant hickey he left on skug's throat, and he is eternally grateful to his parents for not bringing it up (he'll allow his mother her raised eyebrows. She did it quietly)

- they just sort of? happen, after that. There's no conversation about what they are to one another, so there are several crossed wires and feelings get hurt, but they always move past it. They both have phases of going off with someone else - but they keep ending up back together regardless of how much they argue.

[forever--darling]

my best friend’s wedding (preview)

a/n: I’m just going to leave this here and I’m kind of scared about it. this is just a small portion from the beginning. tbh, it’s not that small because I don’t know how much to reveal during a sneak peek but oh well. also the full story is up to 16k words already!

based off the movie my best friend’s wedding

summary: you finally realize that you’re in love with your best friend from college just as he’s about to get married. your plan and solution... break up the wedding with the help of your obnoxious playboy neighbor as your wedding date

He was getting married. Your Cameron. Your Cam. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t how your lives were supposed to play out. He had loved you through college and years after that. He couldn’t have possibly proposed to some girl he had known for only a couple of months. It was completely wrong in every sane way and the only justification you could think of was that he was mentally unstable. To make matters worse, the wedding was in five days. You had five days to stop this wedding and knock him back to his senses. 

You barely had the strength to stand up, let alone change, so you walked across the hall in your work clothes and a pair of slippers. Your pencil skirt was wrinkled at this point and bunched up while your white button up was slightly unbuttoned on the top revealing the strap of your lacy bra. 

Out of it, the only thing you could think to do was drink and that was your plan of action as you were supposed to board a plane the next morning. Across the hall, the door of your neighbor was cracked and you heard the various voices of your friends on the other side. Slipping in, you drew the attention of a few who lingered by the door. Evie and Allen pulled you into their conversation but after a small catch up, you were able to slip away to the kitchen where you knew the fridge would be stocked with beer. 

You were the last to arrive out of the six people in your friend group. All having met in college and all still lived within the same city besides Cameron. You wondered if they knew of the news. That he was no longer yours or meant to be yours but instead belonged to some twenty-year-old trying to get a degree to become a teacher. It was soul shattering in every way and it reversed every single thing you had said about love because here you were trying to figure out a way to break up a wedding. 

Hand clasped around the cool handle of the fridge, you pulled it open and sure enough was met with a fully stocked fridge of liquor. You went for your usual and picked your poison graciously. As the door closed behind you and you popped the top off of the drink, you found the host of the “party” leaning against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest nursing his own drink. He stared at you as if trying to pick out what happened and it only sparked annoyance in you. You raised a single brow and glared. 

“What?” you spat. 

“What’s wrong with you?” his nose scrunched up as he asked the question, and his voice alone had you rolling your eyes. 

You shook your head as you held the cold drink close to your chest, “Nothing, Shawn. It’s none of your business.” 

Shawn Mendes. Your neighbor across the hall and a man who had gotten roped into your life. He had been pulled into your friend group when he moved to the city as his childhood friend was someone you had been close to as long as Cameron. 

“You’re right,” he scoffed, “Forgot that I shouldn’t care.” 

Without giving you so much as the last word, he stepped out of the kitchen into the living room leaving you alone to have your own pity party. You groaned underneath your breath at his childish response as you couldn’t seem to have one conversation without him getting under your skin. He was the only one in your friend group that you seemed to butt heads with even if you didn’t consider him a friend.

Your eyes followed his back as he collapsed onto his couch next to Sasha pulling the brunette into a conversation. His gaze flickered back up at you through the kitchen and as he found you already looking, a smirk formed on his pink lips. It was enough to make you groan in annoyance again before turning your back to him. You took a large swig from your drink unable to stop the rage that was filling your veins quickly. It was clear, you wouldn’t be staying long as you didn’t want to ruin everyone else’s mood and you had to pack for your spontaneous trip and reserve a ticket for a flight. 

“Hey, there you are. I was wondering when you would get here.” 

Glancing over your shoulder, the anger subsided slightly as you found Conner, Shawn’s childhood friend and your other best friend aside from Cameron. The boy with his honey straight hair and soft smile went to grab a drink of his own from the fridge. You couldn't form a response as you just stared down at your white fluffy slippers you tapped against the wooden floor. Upset was an understatement and by the curious look your friend sent over his shoulder, he could sense it. 

“Hey, you okay?” 

Taking in a deep breath, you released it and shook your head, “Did you know that Cameron was getting married this weekend?” 

Looking up you found Connor freeze, still staring into the open fridge. Caught, it was clear that it was something he had been hiding probably at Cameron’s request. Grabbing his own drink of choice, the fridge slowly closed and he turned to face you. The look on his face said it all and it was almost as if he regretted keeping a secret like this from you. “You finally called him back?” 

“Yes, and he’s getting married!” 

“I know,” he sighed, taking a step forward almost coaxing you into a comforting hug. 

You raised your arms, brows furrowed, hurt the only thing being shown on your face, “How long have you known?” 

“He called me about a month ago and I got the wedding invitation in the mail a few weeks ago. He asked me not to tell you.” 

You nodded, taking an even longer sip of your drink almost begging for that buzz to overtake the pain that seemed to be suffocating you slowly, “Of course, he did. You know what he asked me?” 

Connor didn’t say anything and you let the silence linger for a few seconds as a sad chuckle fell from your chapped lips, “He asked me if I was going to bring a date to the wedding. Like I could’ve possibly found someone better than him in this last year. Can you believe that?” 

“I’m sorry.” 

You didn’t even hear the weak apology as another thing had quickly dawned on you. Cameron had asked you to bring a date and above all things in that moment you said, yes. You were supposed to be leaving tomorrow and you needed a date to that wedding and someone who could ultimately help you stop the groom from marrying the bride. Your laughter slowly died and you stared forward at the buttons on the front of Connor’s shirt and slowly your eyes trailed up to his confused face. A light bulb had practically appeared on your head as the idea manifested.

“Y/N?” he said your name slowly as if you were a fragile child on the brink of crying any second. 

“Connor, I need a favor,” you blurted, crazy eyes widening as you grabbed meekly onto the sleeve of his shirt. 

You could see the hesitation on his face, “What?”

“Will you be my date to the wedding? I told him I was bringing someone and you and I both know there aren’t any contenders. Please?” your hand tightened around his shirt as you knew he wouldn’t like this favor you were asking of him. 

“Y/N…” he drew out your name, his own eyes dancing over your shoulder at his girlfriend sat in the living room. 

“Connor, please. I am begging you. I am way in over my head here and I need help. You said it yourself just a few months ago that Cam and I were meant for each other.” 

He shook his head as he peeled your hand from his shirt and held it in his own, “I can’t Y/N/N. I’ll be there wedding day but otherwise I have to work and you know how Sasha would feel if I hopped a plane with you and left for five days.” 

You huffed, squeezing his hand tightly, “Why can’t she just get over that we’re just friends.” 

“Look, I’m sorry but that’s what I told Cameron and I already said that I was bringing Sasha.” 

That was it… you were screwed. You dropped his hand from yours knowing that there was no amount of begging you could do to get Connor to change his mind. He was the only one who you were close enough to that could help you with this, could help you admit your feelings to the man you had been hoping to spend the rest of your life with. 

The plan was simple in your eyes. Say that Connor had broken up with Sasha and a romance had ignited out of nowhere and try to convince Cameron that he was the only man for you. Allen had crossed your mind but that was quickly off the table as he was gay and you wouldn’t be able to make Cameron believe otherwise. Which meant, you were set on going to this wedding alone. 

“Hey, I think I know someone who you can take as a date,” Connor suddenly assured which brought a new sense of warmth to your eyes. 

But as you looked up and found that your friend’s gaze was still over your shoulder, you instantly felt your stomach shake with worry. You knew who he was looking at before you even turned around but you followed who his orbs were locked on anyways. Your suspicions were proved correct when your eyes found the tall Canadian boy that was sunk in between the couch cushions. Shawn Mendes. 

At the simple suggestion, you twirled back around and laughed in Connor’s face. Was he insane? “You have got to be kidding me?” 

“I’m not.” 

“Shawn?” you gaped, “You want me to take Shawn Mendes as my wedding date?” 

Connor smirked, “Yes.” 

“That is the worst fucking idea I’ve ever heard!”

-

“I have an offer for you.” 

He nodded without so much as a question, “Okay, I’m listening.”

You took in a deep breath, unable to keep eye contact as you said what you did next, “You come with me this weekend as my date to a wedding and I’ll help you get rid of your hookups whenever you want.You can hide here or I can pretend to be your girlfriend or sister or whatever.”

He raised an eyebrow in your direction and you were already starting to doubt your decision, “Why do you need a date to this wedding?” 

“Shawn, I’m not going to ask twice. So deal or no deal?” you were pleading at this point and both you and him knew it. You stick out your hand to him and waited anxiously as he thought it over before he finally takes your hand and shakes it. 

“Deal.” 

[worldwidemochiguy]

the man in the moon (Yandere! Yoongi)

Summary: You can’t help but gaze at the stars and he can’t help but gaze back at you. 

Word Count: 1.7K

Masterlist

Warnings: Yandere, Kidnapping, (kind of) Stockholm syndrome, Dissociation, bad writing. 

Authors note: I got the idea and then made this and tbh it’s kind of shitty which makes me sad bc it could have been a cool concept but ah well lol. 

The man in the moon is my man

He never say nothing so I know he understands

He’ll never break my heart 

I know he’s here to stay

Tell all the other boys to go away

I’ll take the man in the moon 

- Man in the Moon, by Voice of the Beehive 

Yoongi had a fairly repetitive schedule. He would wake up and then… well. That was basically it. He preferred not to go outside, deeming the bouncing gait he had to adopt to travel around as ‘undignified’, even if there was no one else around to see it. He spent his days in his meticulously shuttered compound. Covering the windows was necessary, given that the moon was far slower at rotating than its orbital partner, Yoongi thought with contempt. 

Rather than having a cycle of darkness and light over 24 hours, it took his planet almost a month to complete a ‘day’. Even Yoongi was incapable of sleeping when the sun’s full glare was seeping through the thick window panes, and after enduring a week and a half of the torture, he went around with a hammer, an armful of boards, and a budding vendetta against the sun. 

Eons later, Yoongi’s skin was infinitely paler, his eyes were infinitely piercing, and his life was infinitely dull. Yoongi sometimes dabbled in casting his gaze onto the Earth, the ugly planet he was stuck forever facing towards. Normally, what he found was severely lacking. Stupidity, and greed, and petty squabbles seemed to be all the human race knew how to do. But, for lack of a better option, he kept on looking. And then he found you.

From the moment he saw you, he knew you were different. He almost thought you were a fallen star, stuck in a place you didn’t belong just like he was. You were clearly brighter than any other filthy human marring the Earth, and you only became increasingly so as you aged.

Yoongi’s eyes followed you everywhere, he saw when you learned how to ride a bike, when you got your high school diploma, when you got your first promotion. He resented every second of the hours you were woefully hidden from view. It was ridiculous; he could peer through hundreds of thousands of kilometres of space and locate you with ease, but as soon as you disappeared behind the curve of the Earth, you were out of sight? 

Yoongi couldn’t bear it when he couldn’t see you, even if he knew you were going to bed in that time and therefore had less of a chance of getting hurt. He was very protective of you. How could he not be, he reasoned, when he had saw you grow up before his very eyes. Of course, he had previously watched billions of souls come into existence and age and wither and die, all without sparing a thought. But he could never let that happen to you. He could not let you be another distant creature, always in his sight but never in his reach. 

It was difficult for Yoongi to watch you living your life without him. The first time you kissed another man, he felt an anger that had never before reared its head rip itself out of him. It raged along the shorelines of the Earth, coaxing in fearsome waves from the deep. It ripped along the streets, blowing with the force of a thousand gales. The moon almost tilted off its axis, turning its back on the Earth for far longer than it should have done. 

Yoongi saw the devastation his rage resulted in. The loss of thousands of lives. The destruction of property built by the hands of men. He only felt a flicker of satisfaction. It didn’t matter, it wasn’t enough, he would never be able to harm those around you (those who wanted to hurt you) without also hurting you in the process. You were too far, the only way he could touch you was with a broad wave of violence. And that is how Yoongi came to his conclusion.

He could not harm those around you without harming you. You were stuck down there among danger. The solution was simple: he needed to draw you to his side.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“He’ll never break my heart, I know he’s here to stay,” You sang, or — more accurately — shouted, using your deodorant stick as a makeshift-microphone since your friend had already snatched the hair brush. “Tell all the other boys to go away!” You screamed the lyrics together, dancing around your cramped living room. 

“Mina!” You called, pointing the stick at your friend, “Solo!” 

She cackled and then sung along with the song blasting on the radio, laughing so hard she could barely get the lyrics out. When she pointed at you again to finish the song off, you did so with flair.

“I’ll take the man in the moon.” You crooned. You both paused dramatically as the bassline faded out, before collapsing into giggles on the carpeted floor. Mina had come over to try and cheer you up after your boyfriend had forgotten to show at your anniversary date, again, and she had obviously succeeded. 

“Y’know,” you started, once the laughter had died down, and Mina hummed in acknowledgement. “My parents would always tell me about the man in the moon.”

“Tell you what?” Mina asked, rolling over onto her stomach and resting her chin on her forearms.

“Well… they would tell me stories about him.”

“Such as…?” Mina prompted, and then burst into giggles as you chucked a pillow at her for her impatience. 

“Such as… that he existed. Like, he was sent there as a punishment.” 

“Punishment? For what?”

“I don’t know,” you floundered, “For, like, being weird or something. Anyways, the point is-” you stressed, “I’ve always felt like there was someone watching me. From up there.”

Mina’s immaculately groomed eyebrows flicked up.

“So you seriously believe there’s a man on the moon?” You flushed and sat up, shrugging your shoulders slightly.

“I don’t know, it’s just… weird, I guess.”

“It’s not weird, you’re weird.” 

Mina was expecting the pillow being swung at her face that time, and fought back valiantly with a throw cushion. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your body cast a shadow along your moonlight-bathed room as you leaned your forehead against the window. Up there in the sky, the moon continued to shine as it always had done, your eternal silent companion. It was a full moon that night. You noticed that as you brushed a finger against the glass separating you and the night sky. It was difficult to believe the moon was so far away, it almost felt like, if you only opened your window and leaned out, you could cup it in your hands.

It was almost a compulsion that led you to lift the latch. Like the pull of the tide, you leaned away to twist the handle and then drew back to breathe in the night air. You couldn’t trust your eyes, as it almost looked like the moon had swollen, now bigger, brighter, closer. It became blurred, hidden as your breath formed translucent clouds which eddied on the cool night breeze, swirling faster and faster. You pitched your body further out of the window, taking one arm away from its steadying position on the windowsill to reach out. To brush the moon, as it started to take on an almost unnatural glow.

Like a moth to its burning cold flame, you were drawn in, your eyes wide, your face gleaming white as you approached the moon. A pair of eyes were stretching across space, fixed on you unerringly, coaxing you out. You felt a hand enclose around your outstretched palm. It tugged you forwards slightly, and you lost your balance, tipping into the open arms of the night. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Come on, sweetheart. Wake up. Can you wake up for me?” The kind, almost intimate words were uttered by a voice that sounded like it hadn’t been used for some time. The hoarse, gravelly tones echoed in your head as your eyelashes fluttered. Immediately, there was a cold hand cradling your head, and another beneath your back, helping you to a sitting position as you squinted, still unable to take in your surroundings. 

Slowly, your vision cleared. A man was bent over you, his striking dark eyes swimming with concern. His skin was… so white it almost hurt your eyes to look at. The paleness seemed to have even leached the colour out of his hair, leaving him as an almost wraithlike figure. 

“W-where am I?” You croaked, your own voice rough as if it had been a long time since it was last used. You glanced around the room, trying to find an indicator of the time, or of where you were. You could find none.

His lips quirked slightly, and he guided your body back down to the bed.

“You’re safe.” He told you. “That’s all that matters. Now sleep.” As he commanded it, your eyes shut and everything went dark again. 

The man brought you strange things, food that was not food, gifts that felt almost unnatural — a doll that followed you around the room with its eyes, an hourglass that never ran out of sand. You couldn’t seem to break out of the limbo you sunk into when you fell out of your bedroom window and into this strange place. There were no windows, and when you asked the man — Yoongi, he told you to call him — what time it was, he simply smiled and told you he didn’t know either, and didn’t care to find out. 

Sometimes you woke up and felt those eyes on you, and he would be watching you. He would always smooth your hair back — which was starting to grey, or was it just paling, like his? — and tell you not to worry. He never told you what he wanted from you, and after a time (you don’t know how long) you stopped caring. You passed through many rooms, all of them the same, all of them lacking windows, until you found an exit.

You went outside and saw Yoongi, standing sentinel on a rocky outcrop. You climbed over to join him, and turned your gaze to see what he was looking at. There stood the Earth, small and inconsequential from your standing. By now, you could hardly remember what it had been like to live there. Yoongi turned to look at your blank face, skin as pale and glowing as the moon, and he smiled. He was alone no longer. 

[queeranarchist]

Dear Creator

General Likes: Trans characters, queer themes, queer solidarity, character development, strong gen. relationships and interactions with characters outside of a relationship, dialogue-driven story, non-linear narrative, animals, angst, hurt/comfort, character introspection

DNW: underage, a/b/o, past S10 for SPN

Realm of the Elderlings

Well if this reads as though I haven't finished the books it's because I haven't, but I will have by reveals so don't worry about spoilers.

Fitz/Fool

1. Set in the Golden Fool Trilogy before the Fool being Amber and him being in love with Fitz is revealed they have the head out on a sea voyage for whatever reason. They come across the Paragon, Fitz freaks because why does that ship have my face and also it's ALIVE? The Fool has to then awkwardly explain what happened.

2. At the end of the Golden Fool Trilogy they venture back to the Fool's homeland together.

3. After the Red Ships are vanquished Fool seeks out Fitz. They travel the world together with Night Eyes.

Brashen/Althea

1. I would love a bit more detail about their life after their series! We see them with a kid in the Dragon series so I would adore a look into that family.

2. I would love to see how these guys relationship works with their families, does Brashen ever really speak to his family again? Does Malta have the Trell's over and Brashen and his family awkwardly sit at the table together.

3. Generic ship adventure! I would love to see these guys travelling around with the Paragon and what they get up to.

Supernatural

DNW: Anything past Season 10

Likes: boy king arc, Sam centric fic, queer Sam (I literally head canon him as anything with whatever pronouns), Bobby, trans Dean, religious iconography/themes, Sam being a lore nerd

Dislikes: Sidelining Sam 

Sam/Ruby

1. Ruby lives, I’d love to see how this plays out in Season Five. Whether she sticks with Lucifer or chooses Sam.

2. Sam goes dark side after freeing Lucifer

3. Earlier on Sam starts trusting her and fulfilling his role as the boy king. If this stops Dean from going to hell, changes the way the demons work etc

Sam/Jess or Sam/Jess & Dean

1. Jess lives au! My personal head canon is that Jess is pre-med and being very intent on saving people. When she finds out about hunting, she realises that she can’t just go back to being “normal” knowing people are dying. Maybe Sam decides to go back to law school and they have a semi long-distance relationship where she asks him for advice, maybe they hunt together every now and again. Maybe she joins Dean and Sam and they become a hunting trio.

2. Jess gets brought back to life – place this in any season you want! Go wild.

Dean & Sam

1. Dean keeps in touch with Sam during Stanford! Maybe from the get-go, maybe after a couple of years, maybe seeing each other, maybe just through postcards

2. I’d love to see them during S4 where their relationship starts to fall apart, but like also see them still loving each other

3. John gets a year to live instead of instantly going to hell AU – how do they react? Do they try to save him? Does John tell them?

4. I’d love a sort of non-linear story of them (especially Sam because it’s been so long) trying to integrate John into his adult life also looking at his life as a child/teen. You know the general angst about how he’d done it, he’d gotten away and he’s right back at square one. Also, Dean starting to realise that he isn’t a kid anymore, and he’s got his own thoughts etc

Sam

1. Licherally anything in the boy king arc! I’d love to see him fulfilling his role as the boy king. This stops Dean from going to hell, changes the way the demons work etc

2. His time at Stanford! I’d love to see him adjusting to his new life.

3. I would love to see a bit more of him in Season Four! How he feels about Dean being chosen by the angels, how this affects his view on religion, how he feels about himself and the demon. Blood etc

4. Just some introspection anytime in the series tbh, love to see this boy struggle with wanting to be good, with wanting to be normal, and then um not being those things

5. I’d love a sort of non-linear story of Sam trying to integrate John into his adult life also looking at his life as a child/teen. You know the general angst about how he’d done it, he’d gotten away and he’s right back at square one.

Final Fantasy XV

Likes: fics that include the whole gang, trans Gladio, anything with Prompto, angst about destiny, angst about royal linage, character introspection

Noctis/Prompto

1. I really like angsty fics about destiny with this lot - I would love to see how the way in which they’ve been raised effects their relationship, be it being groomed to be king or shield or advisor. I would love a getting together fic, with whichever ship you wish to write, with a lot of internal angst.

2. I would also love a post cannon fic where Noctis is alive (magic, never died, skip over it entirely it’s up to you) where they all settle down, maybe Noctis lets the world think he has died so he can live a peaceful life?

3. I would like to see a fic of Prompto integrating himself into Noctis’ life, Gladio and Ignis have been around his entire life, so how does Prompto feel about them? How do they feel about him? Honestly I’m 100% here for awkward insecure bby Prompto

4. Set between game cannon and Brotherhood, I‘d be down to see what these guys got up to in the years between high school and the road trip. Did Prompto and Noctis study after high school? Do they travel?

5. Less of a prompt and more a vague feeling but like *slaps prompto* this bad boy can fit so much angst in it. Honestly, he’s childhood is depressing af, with the lack of parents and friends combined with a shit body image/relationship with food I wld rlly love some emotional hurt/comfort with him and the squad

Naruto

Likes: the summons, Rock Lee, the squads and how they operate, Naruto getting to eat the ramen he deserves, Sakura being an actual bad arse fleshed out character, trans Naruto

Sasuke/Naruto

1. Naruto leaves and joins Sasuke on his mission to destroy to Leaf, talks him out of y’know murdering everyone but agrees that the Shinobi system is deeply fucked and needs to be fixed

2. I’d like a fic of Sasuke thinking about Naruto while doing all his plotting, be it set when he’s with Orochimaru or the Akatsuki, it would be nice to see him thinking about Naruto, wanting to stop doing so, wondering how strong he could have been if he had managed to kill him and gain the mangekyou earlier

Gai/Kakashi

1. I’d like a fic set just before Kakashi gets his genin, really love to see Gai trying to talk up how cool having a squad is! Dragging Kakashi to see his kids and being like aren’t my team great! And then Team Gai getting into some crazy hijinks that make Kakashi a lil scared about the future but also maybe a bit endeared towards them

2. a fic of Gai watching Kakashi slowly lose himself while in ANBU, of him trying to make things right and not being able to and then eventually asking him to be removed from the forces

[raptorbox]

wip wednesday: (old) kuroko no basket edition!

since the dub has us watching the anime for a second time, i’ve gotten into a knb mood! so i decided to dig through my evernote and post some bits and pieces of old wips from...ah, 6 years ago is the earliest one. welp. 

here we go! it’s.......mostly akashi/kuroko. i might have an otp. maybe.

akashi/kuroko, coffee shop au

nothing’s actually written for this one, just a cast list and where everyone goes. it’s a pretty long series of lists sooo i won’t actually post it, but here’s where GoM+Kagami are!

Kagami transferred to be a shift manager at Seirin coffee shop

Kuroko is hourly at coffee shop, also pre-school teacher

Murasakibara pastry chef at restaurant owned by Yosen manager

Akashi is a grad student for business, also shogi champ

Kise is a part-time model, taking pilot lessons, and part-time retail worker

Midorima is in med school, works part-time at ???

Aomine line cook/chef at a different restaurant (Touou)

Momoi general manager of said restaurant

if i revisited this i might change some stuff around, but this is pretty fun!

midorima & ???, a...fast food au? maybe?

"I'm off in a few minutes"

Midorima is still turning all the bills in the cash drawer

okay that’s a super short one but i do like the idea of midorima taking time like i used to just...turning all the bills to face the same direction

akashi/kuroko, coffee shop/bookstore au

"I'm off in a few minutes," Kuroko says, looking Akashi in the eye while he continues to wipe down the counter, "if you can wait."

Akashi smiles and turns his coffee cup in his hand, giving Kuroko a glimpse of his own handwriting on the side of it. It just says "Akashi-kun", and Kuroko knows he wrote that a solid 15 minutes ago.

"Are you?" Akashi muses. Kuroko nods and Akashi straightens up from leaning against the counter, taking his coffee and lingering gaze with him. "I'm not in any rush."

Kuroko thanks every higher power that the coffee shop outlet didn't see too many of the bookstore's customers today. He doesn't usually want busy days as it is, but the moment Akashi comes in the more he finds himself wishing for nothing to do.

so the past two wips were filling the same prompt i guess? w/e, i actually started this one. different coffee shop from the seirin coffee shop at the top.

TYL GoM meet-up, feat transgirl reo but not in this excerpt

"I'm sorry." Akashi says and the table goes quiet, half from shock over hearing Akashi say that at all, and the rest as if they'd been punched.

They don't know how to respond. Kise's jaw is dropped,  Murasakibara fidgets, and Midorima is getting his hand squeezed by Takao. Aomine stretches loudly, suddenly, and everyone jumps.

"S'not your fault," Aomine grumbles while not making eye contact with Akashi, "don't apologize."

Akashi's frown is set in deep. "I should have been able to handle the situation much better than I did. I take responsibility."

(More arguing maybe)

Kagami is still chewing his food when he talks. "Weren't all of you in fuckin middle school? Like...what, 13 or 14?"

Everyone turns on him with different reactions; while Murasakibara looks horrified at the disrespect, Takao is trying his damn hardest to keep his burst of laughter muffled. Kuroko jabs Kagami's side and Kagami groans.

"Oh my god," he growls, "seriously, you guys were kids, who the fuck expects a kid to handle all you assholes?" He gripes while gesturing to the rainbow of said assholes, his own boyfriend included.

i get what i was going for but i’d write this differently from how i did 6 years ago. this is like a little overdramatic i guess??? but man i’m just here for some adults dealing with group childhood trauma but this time in a more lighthearted way

akashi/kuroko, about their first date!

Akashi looks as put-together and expensive as kuroko knew he would. He has layers and nice shoes, hands in his pockets and a pleasant, observant expression as he scans the crowds. Kuroko's early and he wonders how long Akashi has been here.

He doesn't bother waving, it wouldn't necessarily make him more visible. He's expecting to be able to walk up to him, invisible and silent, but he's quickly in Akashi's area of sight and he's seen. Kuroko stumbles from being suddenly so visible under a gaze that seems to see all of him at once.

Akashi smiles. "Kuroko, you're early."

Kuroko steps into Akashi's space, settles comfortably beside him facing the crowd. "You're one to talk."

"Hmm, well I can't argue that." Akashi glides through his words. "Shall we go?"

Kuroko is watching faces and gestures. "We're early, aren't we?"

Akashi's eyes flick over all the people,  smirking a little. "Everyone here is in a rush."

Kuroko nods. The trains are going to be packed and he would usually tackle that challenge. He bumps shoulders with Akashi, who nudges him in return.

i actually wrote more of this than i remembered? i have a few other sections started. they make out against a chain link fence after playing some one-on-one to end their date.

akashi/kagami, just some notes

Alex leaves nail clippers

"Your home is so spacious it's hard to believe anyone could lose something here..."

Sits that boy the fuck down

"You can think about dinner while I do this. Maybe you'll even think of something new."

Comments on how he'll call him taiga someday but later

He still has to readjust to tetsuya despite kuroko's insistence on it

Clip clip file file

Humming

It's a concerto I'm practicing

Kagami makes a massive dinner, mutters about how he didn't think if anything new to add or do

Too distracted and stuff

Gets a head scritch

this was basically a fic about akashi grooming kagami’s nails bc i’m just. a big fan of that stuff. i think there’s some hint hint at akashi/kuroko/kagami but maybe not, who knows with me tbh. this would be fun to revisit

akashi/kagami(/kuroko), harry potter au

“Please be more careful.”

Kagami grunts as he shifts his body. “I can’t promise you that.”

Akashi pets Kagami’s hair and brings his hand back around to his cheek. “Try.” he says with a slight smile. It’s dark out but he can see the flush in Kagami’s cheeks and the light in his eyes.

---

They return to the equipment room to undress themselves from their quidditch gear, Akashi leading Kagami by his hand, still in quiet disbelief that this might just work out.

Akashi looks up and is the first one to see Kuroko standing there in his robes, broom in hand, smiling at them.

kuroko came to practice with them, heard the yelling and ran to see what was up, saw the post-fall bit and just kinda hung out and watched bc boyfriends yeh.

“Jeez, now I’ll never hear the end of how much time I spend with Slytherins,” Kagami groans, “and the seeker and captain of the team, at that.”

now we’re getting into the old self-indulgent af shit back when harry potter wasn’t on my shit list.

akashi/kuroko(/kagami), that same harry potter au

(3rd years)

Akashi sits in his bed across the room from Kuroko’s. Their roommates are in their own beds, studying or writing letters in the quiet warmth of their dormitory. It’s lights-out, they should all be at least trying to sleep, but it’s been a long time since any of them have stuck to that.

Akashi doesn’t know if Kuroko used to go to bed on time. He doesn’t remember if he gets up early or is late for his classes. He never used to see him, but now he can’t stop looking at him. Kuroko fidgets under his gaze and Akashi smiles.

“Sorry, Kuroko,” he says, watching Kuroko startle and look around at their roommates, “is this uncomfortable?”

Kuroko’s expression rarely morphs outside of his usual default, but Akashi watches the small furrows of his brow and the deeper set of his unsure frown. He’s been unable to un-see Kuroko since that day earlier this year. He finds Kuroko fascinating and wonderful, a pinnacle of everything he wanted to complete his quidditch team who goes far and beyond his every expectation. He’s fixated on Kuroko, the Muggle-born Slytherin with a talent tailored to the qualities of a perfect Seeker.

Some of their dormmates have looked up at Akashi curiously, asking without words who he was talking to. Akashi waves them off and they shrug, more preoccupied with their own things at this time of night Akashi reaches out a hand to Kuroko, across the room, and Kuroko shoots it a confused stare.

Akashi chuckles. “Come here.”

no one can pry slytherin kuroko from me, that’s all i gotta say

aaaaaand that’s all i can show for my old af knb fics that i never finished! i don’t know if i’ll pick any of these back up, maybe one of the coffee shop ones if i do. as much as i loved and plotted out the harry potter au, harry potter is dead to me so i’ll just have to transplant that story into something else somehow if i really want to.

[alternislatronemhq]

Congrats, ELLIE, you have been accepted to AL for the role of SEVERUS SNAPE (FC: aneurin barnard). HOLY CRAPOLY, ELLIE! This app was absolutely fantastic! I couldn’t pull myself away from reading it and was just seriously BLOWN AWAY. This is everything I ever could have dreamed for in a portrayal for a character as central to the plot as Severus is! You truly have a gift and I’m so excited you’re here! Please send in your blog (no sideblogs for first characters, please) in the next 24 hours and be sure to take a look at our new player checklist. Welcome home (once again), we’re so excited to have you join the family!

OOC

name — ellie. age — 20+ pronouns — she/her. timezone — GMT. activity level — i’m not a very fast writer tbh, but i don’t have any other hobbies or rl obligations to keep me from rp atm so i should be able to maintain more than 3 paras a week.

IC Overview

name — severus tobias snape. faceclaim — aneurin barnard, louis garrel, richard harmon. age — 26. gender — cis male.

sexuality — demisexual, biromantic. He lacks the terminology for it, and simply regards sex as yet another social endeavor for which he is ill-equipped.

patronus — doe. yes, it still works. no, he doesn’t understand why or how. he is most certainly not pure of heart. the memory he calls on to summon the patronus is his first dinner with the evans family, where mrs. evans piled his plate high with steak and mashed potatoes and peas, and lily snuck her broccoli onto his plate discreetly while trying not to make a face, and petunia was spending the night at a friend’s house across the street and too far away to ruin the lighthearted atmosphere. they joked and laughed and cleaned the dishes afterwards. it was the first proper family dinner he’s had in his life.

boggart — voldemort. Not, specifically, for the man himself although he is a rather striking figure on his own – but rather for what the man represents to snape. Voldemort represents how far snape’s ambition and thirst for power and knowledge will take him if left unchecked. He represents a hungry and gaping and greedy part of snape that will take and take and take, and grow hungrier and greedier still, uncaring. Losing control in such a manner – allowing himself to be led astray by a mad man and his mad men, doing their bidding and spreading pain and grief and loss, thinking himself so righteous and vindicated – the worst parts of himself, unvarnished, laid bare for him to see. Snape has long since discarded any illusions of himself he may have entertained before the war. He knows the parts that make him up. He knows what he does and why he does it. He knows how far he will go without an anchor — and he fears being unmoored and unrestrained most of all. Fears what he will allow himself to do, without a pragmatic set of rules and ethics to keep him in line.

IC In Depth

personality traits —

+Loyal: snape’s loyalty is difficult to earn, but impossible to lose. He has a thorough, comprehensive, all-or-nothing approach towards loyalty. You either have it or you don’t. All of him or none of him. He will give you his soul – his strength, his work, his honour, his dignity, his life, his word – or he will give you nothing. Thus far, the only people who have earned his loyalty are lily evans and albus dumbledore.

+Sharp: snape is clever and perceptive, his intelligence owed in large due to the many hours spent in his mother’s company as a child, listening to her stories and her theories and her careful instruction. She was not a pleasant woman, nor a kind mother, but she taught him the power of knowledge at a young age, and the sharp glint of intelligence in his eyes matched hers.

+Hardworking: say what you will about snape’s character flaws – of which he has plenty, and of which there is quite a lot to say – but his work ethic has always been and will always be impeccable, beyond reproach. He never does things by half. He is a hard worker who spares no efforts once he sets his mind to a task.

-Antagonistic: he holds firm to an unpleasant disposition and hostile countenance. It is his nature to be wary and suspicious and to hold others in low esteem until proven wrong. Snape takes most attempts at social interaction with a grain of salt, expecting mockery and insolence and responding swiftly in kind.

-Bitter: snape’s biggest motivator is spite. He’s a man of well-groomed grudges, what can he say? growing up in poverty with a bitter mother and an unpleasant father, both of whom were uncreative in how they let out their frustrations and rather liberal in tossing about blame for everything that had gone wrong in their lives, had left him with quite an armful of ill-advised coping methods and a less than stellar personality overall.

-Selfish: it’s not that he’s incapable of love and affection. He is demonstrably and regrettably capable of both. He has, as well, displayed a certain capacity for selfless action when it came to his precious few loved ones. Sometimes. But, well. Well. It’s not his default. He spent many years with his head firmly stuck up his ass, seeing and caring about nothing but his own interests and his own ambitions and dreams finally being realized — and nearly lost the only thing in his rather pathetic life that held any meaning whatsoever. And he is still selfish by nature. Even in the years since he’d come to dumbledore to yet again pledge his allegiance to yet another all powerful and all conniving old wizard – the irony of which was not lost on him, not for a moment, rest assured – selflessness is still an installed feature that he must think consciously of before implementing. And, most of the time, it is not something he chooses to do.

-Deceptive: if snape was the sort to keep count of such things – and, as a spy, he most assuredly is – he would truthfully disclose that, in every relationship he’s built in his life since he was old enough for hogwarts, there is a layer of deception that must be adhered to at all times. An intermingling web of lies and half truths and omissions that must be observed with careful attention, lest the whole thing unravel and spill out his doom. He’s a spy. At least now it’s become part and parcel of who he is. At least, he now has a quasi-noble purpose to attach to the rather sticky threads of which he is – secretly – fond. He can admit, if only to himself, that he doesn’t know how to build a relationship without some form of deception to maintain throughout.

character biography —

PROLOGUE.

he stands on his tiptoes over the wooden chair, stirring with the ladle in both hands. clockwise, clockwise, counter-clockwise…. let the ladle rest against the side of the cauldron for thirty seconds. the liquid is two shades off. he adds a pinch of powder, and the color adjusts.

mam’s sharp eyes follow his every move. she nods, stiffly. tension uncoils from his shoulders. “when you get to hogwarts,” she says, brusque, “you’ll be at the top of your class.”

it’s not explicit praise, told more like a command, really, but it’s close enough. emboldened, he asks, “will i ‘ave friends at ‘ogwarts?” he looks up. watches. “lots and lots o’ friends?”

mam blinks. the silence stretches. she pats his head, drops her hand down to his shoulder. “of course, sev. lots and lots. now help me pack everything away before your dad comes home.”

ACT I.

can a place be both hell and home?

well, if it can be — if it’s possible to love and hate a place with equal intensity, if it’s possible to feel like a jigsaw puzzle slotting into place at last and still look over your shoulder and jump at every sound — if it is, then to severus, hogwarts was that place. the home that was unsafe, the home with danger at every corner, the home with no way out. no way out but through.

it’s not s’pposed to be like this, he’d thought, eleven and still a touch naive. this can’t be right. but what did he know about homes and safety, anyway? was Spinner’s End not the same, except smaller and with less magic? did he not look over his shoulder and watch his every step just the same?

being a halfblood matters, more than he thought it would. and being a slytherin matters, but not in the way he’d thought. a poor, dirty, halfblood slytherin with a nasty attitude and an uncouth accent stood out like a rotten stink. hogwarts was magical and whimsical, but it was just a place, just like any other, and the students were just students, and the bullies were just bullies. and sev was still sev, wand or no wand. hogwarts did not fix him and make him better. it did not give him friends on a silver platter.

what it gave him, instead, was knowledge. yes, he spent years the target of relentless bullying, made more enemies than friends and few acquaintances who were in between, but the library was his home. He devoured knowledge with a single-minded intensity, filled with such joy at learning new concepts and spells that it made everything else he had to put up with worth the effort. He badgered his teachers relentlessly with increasingly complex questions, and often times concerning lines of inquiry, and experimented with new spells and potions early on — first with lily, then without — filling notebooks with ideas and information and half formed thoughts. At the age of thirteen, he’d begun working on his own grimoire, writing down his own potions recipes and his modifications to existing potions. All the great potions masters have their own grimoires, why shouldn’t he start his own now?

He isn’t sure when his views began to shift. Somewhere along the way, the facade he’d put on for his housemates began to seep through the cracks and into the boy underneath. it became so much easier to hate muggles and then muggleborns, to blame them for everything that went wrong in his life, to use this hatred as an outlet for all his frustrations he already had with his own life.

By the time the dark lord called, severus was well and truly indoctrinated. It didn’t take much to convince himself that this was the right thing to do.

ACT II.

He takes the mark.

Things… escalate.

They ask him to do terrible things, and he does them fastidiously. He does not feel satisfaction or pleasure when killing and torturing, though he hardly lets that stop him from doing exactly as he’s instructed, to the letter, and sometimes beyond. Vying for the attention and approval of the man who held his soul in the palm of his hand, indifferent to it’s fate, careless in his handling unless the little halfblood proved himself useful. And he did. He proved himself clever, gifted, loyal, ruthless. He worked hard to earn his place, knowing the alternative.

It’s not like he doesn’t know he’s in a genocidal cult. At some point, even the most indoctrinated could see what this was. The dark lord wanted servants to do his bidding, not allies to share in the glory and the power. The dark lord was strikingly clever, imposing and powerful, and stark raving mad.

But severus was marked. He couldn’t put himself at risk, couldn’t think of stepping out of line with his master’s mark upon his arm. The only way out was through.

severus was thorough. he followed instructions to completion, with a single minded focus. he did his work with a professional detachment, a nonbeliever in the guise of a devotee.

And then, he came upon a prophecy.

ACT III.

The dark lord’s fall is a gift that severus doesn’t know what to do with. He’d spent so long treading a worn thread like a tightrope over the brink of hell itself, that the thought of letting his guard down for even a moment sends his every sense screaming DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!

He feels like a man who’s been running full pelt, nonstop, like he was running his whole life and suddenly the ground is pulled from beneath him and he’s free-falling into nothingness. Lily is safe. Unhappy, but alive, and for that he is more grateful than he could’ve ever imagined.

But he is alive, too. And for all his plots and schemes, it didn’t occur to him that he’d make it to the other end of this war in one piece. Not since he turned spy.

The question mark hangs over his head all the way through the chaos following the dark lord’s fall. Severus, sitting through trial after trial, feels as though his ears are stuffed full of cotton and his senses are veiled through with fog. Only in the aftermath of his own trial, when dumbledore rests a hand upon his shoulder and grants him a proud smile does severus begin to hope.

Dumbledore saves him. He gives him a home, a job, a purpose. He guides him through the darkest hour of his life.

Even through the fog, Severus can see it: the headmaster’s true intentions. He knows he must be of some use to the headmaster still, that dumbledore is simply working to gain his true loyalty. That all severus had really done on that stormy night was trade one master for another.

But dumbledore, for all his machinations, is still a good man. There are worse masters to grovel to, as he very well knows. And lily is safe, just as promised. It’s only right that severus pay back his due.

ACT IV.

Once he finds his footing, severus gets busy. He integrates himself with the remaining loyal death eaters as seamlessly as possible, works to maintain at least civil relationships with high ranking order members — with a few notable exceptions — and begins to, brick by brick, build his life from the ground up.

The following years are filled with quiet self reflection. Severus grows more critical of himself, of his actions, of his beliefs. He pulls apart his motives and his reasons for joining the dark lord, inspects his role in the war unsympathetically, the impact he’s had on the lives of others. He does not like what he sees. but he does not look away.

He’s created violent and dark spells for the dark lord during his service. Spells with no counter, or a secret one. Spells the death eaters all knew and used. If he had died in the war as he’d come to expect to, these spells would’ve been his only legacy. His only contribution to the wizarding world. unparalleled violence.

This is who he is. This is what he’s done. He cannot undo it, he cannot be forgiven. but he can strive to be… better. And he does.

beyond the waiting and watching and listening, severus shifts the bulk of his focus upon his work. He creates and tests potions with the needs of the wizarding community in mind, puts his brilliance to good use. He follows a strict code of ethics, to the letter, holds himself to task when it is not properly adhered to. He takes responsibility for the things he releases into the world. He builds himself a respectable reputation in his fields of study, his articles and discoveries published in peer-reviewed journals and papers, his work talked about in academic circles with something like respect.

As the whispers spread and the death eaters prepare for their next move, severus shifts to a ready stance. He has more to fight for — more to live for, now — than he had five years ago. He is ready.

plot ideas —

oh, god, i’m SO excited to explore what snape post-war would’ve been like if he didn’t lose lily. what happened in the books is that lily’s death and his role in it sent him down a spiral of self loathing, guilt, and suicide ideation – and he wallowed in his grief and his guilt for the rest of his life. the trajectory of his life after lily’s death shifted to protecting her son and serving dumbledore. he stopped thinking of his own ends and started viewing himself as a means to an end, that end being the physical safety of lily’s boy (disregarding, of course, the mental wellbeing of potter’s spawn) and while there was growth in his own views over the years i can’t help but think it was greatly stunted by his own grief.

what i want to explore with snape is growth. realistic, nonlinear, steady growth over the years after the war, where he becomes more critical of both himself, his motives, his thinking, and the impact of his actions on other people and the world. he grew up a precocious child with no proper adult guidance, and all his life lessons he’s learned through first hand experience. and like any other 17-year-old, he thought he knew everything. He was reckless and arrogant, and he made terrible choices confidently, with no regard to the greater consequences. post-war snape is painfully aware of his own shortcomings, is trying to be better, not for the sake of being a good person but for the sake of proper self discipline and self control. he never wants to lose control of himself and allow his ambitions and his greed to take him to such lengths again. he wants to have a more positive impact on the world around him, even if he himself is still an objectively bad person, even if he himself is still selfish and deceptive and eaten up by greed.

so how can a bad person be good? by doing good things, even if he’s doing it for the wrong reasons. and snape is doing it for the wrong reasons, he’s well aware of that. He doesn’t have the intuitive grasp of right and wrong that lily always had. He can’t simply do what feels right, as that never turned out to be the right thing at all. Instead, he does what he calculates as having the most positive impact on the biggest number of people, regardless of whether or not it feels right to him. He acts in the interests of the greater good.

It’s a very utilitarian approach. Not dissimilar to dumbledore, who took snape in after the war and was more or less his mentor figure the years following. but unlike dumbledore, snape does not disregard or dismiss the individual lives of people he comes across, is very mindful of his own personal impact in the individual lives of the people around him. in canon, snape is horrified at dumbledore’s plan for harry. dumbledore asks him how many men and women he’s watched die, and snape’s response to that is ‘lately, only those whom i could not save.’ this interaction perfectly encapsulates the differences in morality between the two men. snape is capable of making sacrifices for the greater good and strives to work towards ending the war, making moral compromises towards that end. but his faith in the greater good is limited. When it comes down to it, snape is loyal to people, not causes. And often, since he’s made the conscious decision to become a better person, risks his life for the sake of others.

Another thing i want to explore with snape is his interpersonal relationships. Because, god. Come onnnnnnnnn. His two best friends are lily evans and lucius malfoy. For fucks sake. Lily who cut ties with him when they were 16 and whose husband he is partially responsible for sending to an indefinite coma, yikes, and lucius, for whom he feels the most straightforward affection and who he’s actually quite prepared to stab in the back when the time comes. And it will come, soon enough.

He has….. Complicated relationships. And complicated views on intimacy. He has a tendency to separate his feelings from his duty, which sometimes leads to him doing terrible things to people he cares about. Lying, stealing, manipulating, etc etc etc. it does not mean, to him, that he cares about these people any less. Regrettably, he cares too much, and can’t stop caring once he starts. It does not mean the people he cares about are safe with him. And i want to explore that, especially in his relationships with lily and lucius, as well as his fellow death eaters.

Speaking of the death eaters. Snape was already a high ranking death eater before the dark lord fell, and he’d worked very hard the last five years to integrate himself irrevocably within the ranks of the remaining death eaters. He’d observed their dynamics and worked to make himself seem as loyal and irreplaceable as can be. No doubt he formed many a bond with many a member, not all of them built on lies. And he would take special interest in the hesitant, wavering loyalties, poking and prodding to see how he can use them to further his own position within the death eaters ranks. There’s a lot of potential for inner-politics and sabotage within the DE.

extra —

Mockblog @ sevsnpe.tumblr.com

headcanons:

Snape had a thick manchester accent growing up that was very quickly packed away and replaced with ‘respectable speech’ a few weeks into his stay in the snake pit. When he’s angry or emotional he speaks very slowly and deliberately, his voice dropping in octaves and growing very soft and precise. it becomes very difficult for him to keep control of his speech. He slips on occasion when he and lily are alone.

Eileen sold wonderful ailment-soothing ‘tea’ for her neighbours. severus helped her brew these concoctions regularly as a kid, when he was still too short to reach the tabletop without standing on a chair.

Snape looks up to dumbledore and seeks his approval. It infuriates him to no end, that so much of his own decision-making hinges on the older man’s opinion of him, that he cares what albus thinks of him at all. But after the dark lord’s fall, snape was lost and fumbling, trying to make sense of the world, of himself, of his next steps. He desperately wanted to be a better man, but had neither the tools nor the guidance to do so. if albus hadn’t taken him under his wing, he doesn’t know where he’d be now.

he’s a heavy smoker. he picked up smoking post-war and is not in any hurry to quit. he can stop whenever he wants to anyway.

he maintains a private library in his rooms at hogwarts. he’s as possessive of it and as territorial as a dog. he’s accumulated a very impressive collection of rare books and journals over the years, and a long list of contacts in the private book collectors and book sellers circles to go with. a disproportionate number of his books are highly illegal and officially labelled ‘dark’.

the bulk of his focus, after the war, is split between two things. integrating himself further into the remaining circle of death eaters, and his own personal research into the mind arts, potions, and dark magic, which he conducts in his capacity as potions master and professor at hogwarts. he’s made several discoveries in potions study and published multiple articles in academic journals over the last five years, building himself a respectable reputation and body of works within his field. beyond the fact that such academic pursuits are his passion, his work gives him tangible proof that he is capable of positive contributions to the world around him. that he is capable of doing good, even if he himself is a bad person. his work and his growing reputation gives him something to look forward to after the war. it’s something unrelated to the death eaters and to lily, it’s something completely his own. he is very defensive and protective of his research.

Once or twice a month, snape visits muggle london and spends a few hours in a public library. It’s calming, reading books to simply pass the time. He won’t admit this to anyone, but the connection he has to the muggle world is something he’s learned to accept and even take comfort in from time to time.

[smthngsafootatthecirclek]

Do You Remember?

Good Omens

Requested?  i’ll tell you when it is requested lmao

Warnings? tbh I don’t remember...

A/N: This is one of my favorites. It’s based on the song ��Beautiful Birds” by Passenger.

~~~

Angelic wings wrapped around each other, allowing the two Angels to pull each other closer...

Ever since Raphael fell, it was all different. Aziraphale didn't remember him, or the love they shared.

All Aziraphale knew is that they met in Eden.

Crawly

That was his name. Stripped of everything that would give him hope of regaining what he once had.

Crowley

Oh, how Crowley longed for the innocent embraces he and Aziraphale once shared. The fingers running through his hair.

 The gentle touches between two Angels.

The things he would most likely never experience again.

~~~

Aziraphale was growing worried. His dear friend hadn't visited or called him in days. It was out of the ordinary, to say the least, but the Angel hoped it was just Crowley taking a nap. A soft sigh escaped Aziraphale's lips and he set his book down on the end table. His hands settled in his lap and his eyebrows furrowed. Ever since Armageddon that didn't it seemed as though every time he closed his eyes he saw someone. Someone who looked familiar sounded familiar but was too blurry to be recognized. Each time he saw the figure behind his eyelids, he felt immense joy and love. Just the day before, the Angel learned that the figure's name was Raphael. His voice was beautiful. He too was an Angel, but why did Aziraphale not know of him before. Aziraphale laid on his back across the couch as he saw Crowley do many times, dozing. The Angel closed his eyes and the red-haired figure appeared once more, but this time the feeling was different. This time Raphael wasn't talking to him but rather... God?

"Why is this even necessary? Your Great Plan, I mean. What is the point of creating something only to turn around and destroy it?"

To Aziraphale's disappointment, it was a one-sided conversation. Either God refused to conversate with Raphael, or the Almighty's voice was not to be apart of this dream.

"What even is the Great Plan? You never once have told us..."

Suddenly, Aziraphale could feel that Raphael grew worried.

"No... No, please. Please... I won't ask... any more and we can pretend this never happened... No! Please..."

Black feather began to speckle Raphael's wings as he continued to plead. He collapsed to the floor and suddenly they were elsewhere. Raphael sat in a heap on the ground, his new black wings wrapping around himself. As the fallen Angel looked up, Aziraphale could see tears falling from golden eyes.

"You. What isss your name...?"

Raphael jumped at the voice, turning slowly to see a dark figure, "R-Raphael..."

The figure sneered at the sound of the Angelic name, "Guess you haven't heard that you're a demon now. We don't keep those stupid Angelic names... Try again."

Another figure appeared, glancing down at Raphael, "Crawly"

More figures appeared, whispering among themselves the name.

Aziraphale shot up from the couch, his mind racing.

Crawly? Could it be? No... No, it couldn't.  There must've been another...

But there wasn't and Aziraphale knew that.

~~~

Crowley slowly slid down the wall until he was sitting down.

Why did the memories have to be so vivid today...?

All he did was ask the wrong questions and he lost everything.

He pulled his knees close to his chest and began to tremble. A whimper escaped the demon, who ignored a sudden knock at the door.

"Crowley? Are you home? Crowley??" It was Aziraphale.

With a snap of his fingers, the Angel had miracled his way into Crowley's flat and was startled by a crash to his right. Crowley scrambled to get away from Aziraphale not wanting his counter-part to see him in such a state.

"Crowley...? Wh-what is the matter, dear boy?" The Angel cautiously approached Crowley.

Before Crowley could get to his glasses, Aziraphale caught a glance of the demon's teary eyes and froze. He had never seen the other in such a state before. For a moment Aziraphale thought perhaps other demons had come after him and hurt him but quickly concluded that was not the case.

"Why are you here?" Hissed Crowley, who had shoved his glasses on.

"Am I not allowed to visit my friend?" Aziraphale shot back at him and Crowley winced at the word friend, a fresh batch of painful memories flooding his mind.

"Oh stop that!" Raphael scolded playfully before going back to grooming Aziraphale's wings.

Despite his lover's scolding, Aziraphale couldn't help but squirm in his place as Raphael plucked a few feathers.

"If you don't stop that I might have to pin you down..." Raphael chuckled, kissing the back of Aziraphale's neck gently, who shivered at this feeling.

After a while of smoothing, plucking and some scolding, Raphael was finally finished. He gently wrapped his own wings around his lover. A content sigh left Aziraphale's lips as he settled back against the other's chest.

"Crowley" Aziraphale was now on the floor in front of him, his face contorted with concern.

A gentle hand was reaching out to take Crowley's glasses from his face and he whimpered.

"Crowley... please tell me what is going on... what happened?" Aziraphale took the glasses from his friend's face and caressed his cheek.

"Aziraphale, stop. Please, Angel. Stop" The Demon hissed, tears threatened to spill out of his golden eyes and Aziraphale remembered the golden eyes from his dream.

"Raphael..."

Crowley's eyes widened. His ears had to be deceiving him, "Wh-what?"

Aziraphale sat back, instantly fumbling over and searching for words.

"I- Uhm, well uh"

"Angel, what did you say?" Crowley practically lunged toward Aziraphale, "What. Did. You. Say."

The Angel's answer came out as barely a whisper, but Crowley understood it all the same.

"Raphael..-"

"Where did you learn that name??" Crowley was desperate for hope, hope that perhaps Aziraphale did remember him.

"I- Well you see... ever since Armageddon... I have been seeing this Angel in my dreams. A few days ago I learned his name was... Raphael." Aziraphale's eyebrows furrowed, "and the strange thing was that the dreams were more like memories. We interacted, and well, by the way we interacted, I would say we were lovers...

"But today, I finally got a clear look at him and I was reminded of you..." The Angel flushed pink as he realized how that could've been taken, "a-after he... fell, I mean. He looked very much like-"

Aziraphale shut his mouth before he somehow offended Crowley, but the silence from the other made him look up once more. The sight Aziraphale saw before him was heart-wrenching and difficult for the Angel to watch.

Tears poured down Crowley's sculpted features, and his lips curved upwards to form a sad smile, "You remember..."

The two words were enough to make Aziraphale's mouth fall agape and his eyes widen. Crowley couldn't lung forward fast enough for his liking and he embraced the Angel tightly, burying his face in Aziraphale's collar. They sat like this on the floor for several more minutes until the light-haired male felt the other begin to tremble in their embrace.

Crowley was practically sobbing.

"Heaven erased your memories of me when I fell in the fear that they would lose one of their best Angels to Hell if you went out to get me... and so for the past 6000 years I've had to live with the belief that you would never remember what we had..."

A high-pitched noise made Crowley look up at Aziraphale to see that the Angel was on the verge of crying. Tears pooled in Aziraphale's eyes and he squeezed Crowley whispering a soft apology in the Demon's ear. His angelic wings appeared and gently wrapped around the fallen angel. A small sob escaped Aziraphale's lips as he brought his arms up and around Crowley's shoulders, letting his fingers run through the Demon's fiery hair.

Crowley allowed his arms to rest on Aziraphale's sides, not wanting to scare away his angel. As Aziraphale looked down at Crowley he witnessed another memory. He felt a smile grace his lips as he closed his eyes to watch it a moment longer.

The light-haired Angel smiled as his lover woke from his slumber. Raphael had practically fallen asleep atop of him, not that Aziraphale minded, it only meant that he would be able to witness Raphael wake from his peaceful slumber.

Raphael groaned softly, shifting his head to bury it further into Aziraphale's chest but only succeeded in tickling the light-haired male slightly, making him giggle. They laid motionless for a moment longer until Raphael did it again and Aziraphale poked his side.

"I know you're awake, love..." He cooed and pressed a kiss to Raphael's forehead.

"I wasn't trying to hide it, angel..." Raphael sighed, lifting his head from his lover's chest.

The sight brought an even bigger smile to Aziraphale's face and sighed happily.

"I love you..." The Angel whispered.

[imagineurfavs]

iKON - Junhoe A-Z

A - Aftercare

Literally doesn’t even cross his mind. He’s so starry eyed and tired afterwards he’ll be knocked out almost right away. 9 times out of 10, aftercare is all in your hands...sorry bout it.

B - Body Part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner)

On himself, he likes his chest and shoulders; they're just so broad and firm, he especially loves it when you bite into his shoulders. On you, he loves your hips/butt/thighs area, his favourite place to grab a handful of.

C - Cum

One of the few people that would probably prefer to cum inside a condom most times. Its just one less thing to take care of afterwards because god knows he’s way too lazy for any extra clean up.

D - Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs)

He’d never admit it to anyone other than you, but he really loves being taken care of. Not in a submissive way, more so in an appreciative sense. Some days he’ll come home super tired and just wanna lay down whilst you take care of the both of you. Usually it’s these times when he’s super romantic, expect a lot of “I love you”’s and tight hand holding.

E - Experience

Probably not that much, but he watches A LOT of porn for sure, so he’s got a pretty decent idea of what he’s doing.

F - Favourite Position

Usually ends up being missionary just because it’s the least effort but he definitely prefers doggy more than anything, loves seeing your ass jiggle as he slams against you.

G - Goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous etc)

Somewhere in the middle. He wont be like, cracking jokes left right and centre, but he’s comfortable enough to laugh at certain things. 

H - Hair (how well groomed are they)

He keeps himself nice and tidy, not totally bare but always neatly trimmed.

I - Intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

Surprisingly can get super romantic, especially if he’s had a drink. Don’t feel offended if he gets up afterwards to jot something down, he’s probably writing poetry about you. 

J - Jack Off (Masturbation)

Probably whenever he gets any decent amount of time to himself tbh. 

K - Kinks (one of more of their kinks)

PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE. He craves your validation tbh. Probably asks you to praise him just before he finishes to get him over the edge. “Tell me I’m the only one who makes you feel like this” “tell me how much you want me” kinda stuff, literally the neediness in his voice is lowkey cute.

L - Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Stays within the bedroom, but he has a penchant for having sex on the floor. He just likes the freedom on movement is gives you, plus it means the bed is still good to sleep on without having to change the sheets or anything. lazy ass junhoe strikes again

M - Motivation (What turns them on)

He’s a simple guy, just compliment him on his body. He’s spent so long working on it, he loves hearing how attractive you find him. Especially if you tell him how hot he looks when he’s working out, he’ll be sure to come up with some exercise you can both do together...

N - NO (something they won’t do, turn offs)

He doesn’t really have a concrete list of stuff he doesn't like; he’ll try pretty much anything once. 

O - Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Will probably literally beg for you to give him a blow job some times. The sloppier the better tbh, he loves it noisy. When going down on you, he’ll be just as intense, he like to give as good as he gets.

P - Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc)

Neither, but also both? A medium pace, but super strong, deep thrusts. You’ll certainly be feeling it the day after.

Q - Quickies (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc)

Probably not all that into them. He loves the slow build up too much. The quick looks at each other from across the room, the small touches that send shivers down your spine etc etc.

R - Risk (are they down to experiment, do they take risks?)

He’s a very no frills kinda guy when it comes to sex, and he’s more traditional than he cares to admit. So, with that in mind he’s not totally against trying new things, but it’ll take time for him to open up to it.

S - Stamina (how many rounds can they go, how long do they last? etc)

Boys got stamina for dayssssss. He can go for a fair while, but he’ll be totally passed out when you do finish.

T - Toy (do they own toys do they use them on a partner or on themselves?)

Owns a pair of cuffs he likes to break out every now and then, probably a paddle also. He’s very adamant that the paddle is only for you, but is totally open to having you use the cuffs on him.

U - Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He loves loves LOVES to tease, especially in public. You’ll have to try your best not to respond to him though bc you BET that he’ll make fun of you once you’re behind closed doors. “You just couldn’t control yourself could you y/n”? “I bet you’re so ready for me already” He just a little shit tbh 

V - Volume (how loud are they, what type of sounds they make)

LOUD. Loud low grunts mixed with whispered curses. super hot.

W - Wild Card (a random headcannon)

Contrary to popular belief, Junhoe is quite shy in the bedroom. At least for a while, until you both get 100000% comfortable around each other in that setting. He’s not shy about his body, he knows he looks good. Its more so he’s shy about his skill. 

X - X-ray (what’s going on inside those pants)

I’ve a feeling he’s lowkey packing, like, its not huge but its definitely bigger than average.

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive)

Not as high as you’d probably think. For sure he loves nothing more than to give you a good ol pounding, but sometimes all he wants to do is cuddle with you in a softly lit room and talk about the world. A secret soft boi.

Z - Zzz… (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Super quickly, wouldn’t be surprised if he fell asleep still on top of you tbh.

[cr0w-fr]

So! I wrote a thing. A lore thing! Kinda. It’s for my darlings, Shaiea and Athru. Uh! I put it under a read-more cause it’s kinda long :’> Hope you like! It’s pretty soft tbh. Nothing too bad.

Really, Shaiea didn’t know the exact moment he realized that he’d absolutely, completely, and totally fallen for his best friend. Precious, sweet, wonderful Athru. The Mirror-Tundra hybrid that was probably the only dragon that was allowed to be so close to Shaiea. It… wasn’t like he didn’t like his other clanmates, it was just the fact that the hyper blue fluffy dragon was someone he’d known since they were practically hatchlings.

Maybe the moment had been the time he’d came out to Athru. When he’d said in a voice so quiet and scared that he wanted to be referred to as male. That he wanted to cry every time someone referred to him as “she”, “her”, or “miss.” Also that he was afraid of what his best friend would think. So worried that the Mirror hybrid would think he was strange and unsavory. Athru just smiled widely and toothily, leaning and draping a wing around Shaiea’s shoulders to pull him close. Muttering that he couldn’t ever think that. Adding that “he’d tasted male anyways” which drew a startled but happy giggle from the smaller of the two.

Or maybe it started when Athru would curl beside him and mutter kind things to him on the days that all he wanted to do was hide and sob and never be around anyone else again. Athru’s usually loud and bubbly voice lowered and soft, reassuring, and heartbreakingly gentle. Soft and caring paws brushing through his fur, grooming and comforting.

Really, Shaiea didn’t know when or how it happened. All he knew was that he was afraid of how strongly he felt towards his friend. These feelings that flared up and bloomed into anger at times that other dragons treated Athru with disdain, simply because he was a hybrid. Angry at the dragons that referred to his dearest friend as dull because of his happy-go-lucky attitude and his caring and open nature. He didn’t know what to do with this anger. It scared him how much he wanted to protect the Mirror-Tundra hybrid.

So he could be able to do that if needed, he began training in the coliseum. Training with Allure and Kuroi, two of the strongest dragons in his clan. Tutoring under Rhys as well, the strong and gruff Mirror woman being harsh but also honest. Not afraid to whip her tail around and smack him upside the head when he wasn’t doing something correctly. Or when he seemed to be too distracted. Really, he liked training with Rhys the most. Even if he ended their training sessions bruised and sore. Feeling the aches of muscles that he’d used too much the day previous.

Allure was good at training him in magical and physical attacks. The Skydancer was quiet, and Shaiea knew the reason for that was the awful things that the older scarred up dragon had seen in his old warrior days. Still, even with that, their training sessions were good. Leaving the Tundra with more knowledge, and not… Quite as sore as when he trained with the rough Rhys.

Through all his training, Athru cheered him on. Deities give him strength, especially when the damned sweet dragon was calling out to him so earnestly. With such a bright smile that he was sure it could rival the sun beating down on them in the Wastelands. It was infuriating and confusing and he just wanted to tell Athru how he felt.

He was still scared, though. Terrified, even, that a confession could tear them apart. Break a friendship that had lasted so long, and meant so much. So when the urge to just kiss the sweet idiot arose, Shaiea’d have to bite his tongue and grimace sharply. Looking away, pretending he didn’t see the concerned looks that these moments would get him. Ignoring the pang that went off in his heart at the disappointment on Athru’s face as he was shut out.

This continued for… Far too long. Until one day it seemed Athru had had enough. On this day, the Mirror-Tundra hybrid was possibly more serious than Shaiea’d ever seen him. It… Actually scared him for once. Terrified him that perhaps he’d finally tipped things to the bitter side and pushed the one dragon he cared for away.

“Why are you avoiding me? Shai, please, just... Talk to me?” That simple plea was what broke him down. Legs deciding to give up on him, the Tundra sat down heavily. Staring down at the dirt floor of the cave that Athru had walked him to.

“I- I'm sorry- I… I don’t wanna push you away, Ru. You mean so much to me, and I don’t- I don’t tell you that enough.” Looking up and furrowing his brows, he reached one paw out to Athru. Wanting him to come closer. After he did, sitting back on his haunches and taking the outstretched paw in his own, a deep breath was taken to prepare. Deciding it was taking the plunge now, or risking the possibility of losing the most wonderful dragon he’d ever known. “Just- Promise… Promise me you’ll listen, yeah? Like you… always have.”

Athru nodded slowly, tilting his head and furrowing his brows as well. Four eyes all focused on the nervous dragon in front of him. “Y’know there’s nothing you can do t’ push me away completely, Shai. Okay? M’here for you.”

Choking back the lump that threatened to lodge in his throat, Shaiea coughed and nodded in acknowledgment. Straightening up and trying to steel himself to basically spill his guts here. It was either going to go wonderfully, or awfully. “Ah, wait, I- I wanna be in a form where I can hold your hand a bit better-” At the request, an obvious attempt at stalling, Athru shook his head but obliged. Stepping back and letting his friend slowly change shape. Looking more humanoid, with only a few traits to show he was a dragon. Soon after, he did the same.

As soon as that was over, and they’d both sat in front of each other, Athru held his hands out and gripped Shaiea’s in his own. Giving a soft smile of reassurance, and support. That support he’d always given.

“Okay- I. Athru. You wonderful, sweet, lovely dragon- I. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. Possibly, um, the only best friend I’ve ever had. You’ve been with me through everything, and I’m so glad to have had your support with me. I gotta say something, though, and I just-”

Pausing and clearing his throat, Shaiea tightened his grip on Athru’s hands and glanced up at his face. That open, honest, beautiful face. Deities strike him down, this confession was going to kill him.

“I- I really care about you. You know that, but- I mean. I’m meaning I care about you more than as just a friend. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you. I don’t know when that happened, but I know it’s true as can be and I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to chase you away by this, and I’m s-so fucking scared this will and I’m sorry-”

Athru broke his promise to listen. He leaned in and tugged Shaiea into a tight hug, A warm and strong embrace. Absently, Shaiea noted that those arms were much stronger than they had been years ago. Athru had grown, gotten stronger too. And he was muttering softly next to his ear, making him turn his attention to those words.

“Shai, you dumb pretty boy- Y’not gonna push me away with that. Deities, I care so much for ya too. M’here for you like I always have tried to.” Leaning back and giving a smile that Shaiea was pretty sure melted his heart into his stomach, Athru reached his hands up to his face. Cupping his jaw in his palms gently, but also firmly. “You dork, I love you too. We’re both idiots I s’pose, huh?”

All the Tundra boy could do at that response was stare for a few moments. Mouth partly open until Athru gently used his thumb to push his chin up and close it for him. “Yer gonna catch some nasty bugs gawpin’ like that-”

Not even getting to finish that thought, Athru found himself tackled by a small and emotional Tundra boy, reaching up with his own hands to take his face between his hands and pressing a clumsy, but sincere, kiss to his lips. Athru was so startled that he almost didn’t react, until the fact that Shaiea was about to pull away. An uncertain expression flashing across his face, worried tears welling up in those pretty eyes of his.

That was all he needed to react finally, lightly sliding one of his hands around to gently thread his fingers through Shaiea’s hair. Returning the previous awkward and clumsy kiss with a more gentle, hesitant one. He didn’t know much about kissing, except what others had told him. So they clinked teeth and their lips didn’t slot together perfectly at first. Until Shaiea tilted his head barely, and Athru could focus on doing this right, not on just trying to keep from smooshing the other’s nose.

It may not be the perfect kiss on other’s standards but to them both? It was perfect. Awkwardness and teeth-clinking and smooshed noses included. Pulling back, both flushed and embarrassed and also grinning so widely their cheeks hurt, Shaiea laughed quietly. Closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against Athru’s. “I- That was wonderful. I’m an awful kisser, but that was wonderful, and I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you anything sooner…”

Athru just raised his eyebrows and lightly jabbed his fingers against Shaiea’s side, drawing out a startled giggle-snort. “Shush, you don’t beat yerself up! We’re both guilty. About that kiss?” An uncharacteristically mischievous grin crossed his face, and he leaned in closer. “We can always practice, can’t we?”

The resulting splutter and bright blush was so worth the shove to the chest. Just happy for the possibility that this could open a whole new chapter. The shy and chaste kiss pressed to the corner of his lips cemented that feeling.

[cardboard-moon]

40 Things You Never Wanted To Know About Me

You probably already know me decently well or else you wouldn’t be reading this, so instead of rehashing the basic (boring) “getting to know me” questions I dug a little deeper and asked myself about what’s really important. Here is the result: 40 Things You Never Wanted To Know About Me. Enjoy!

1. What Parks and Rec character am I?

While I could argue for almost everyone on the show I’m probably most like Ben Wyatt: a white, brunette, and sad man who eats soup alone on a park bench (minus his love of math and rollerskate kink)

2: Top 5 books?

To Kill a Mockingbird, The Secret History, A Prayer for Owen Meany, The Help, 11/22/63

3: Top 5 movies?

Chinatown, Star Wars, Rear Window, National Treasure (nick cage can be good in small doses ok) and Nancy Drew (2007)

4: Top 5 shows?

Parks and Rec, B99, That 70′s Show, Mad Men, Arrested Development

5: Top 10 most iconic vines?

1) Chris is that a weed/Mary is that a police

2) Hi My Name is Trey I have A Basketball Game Tomorrow

3) Rebecca It’s Not What You Think

4) The one where the girl is just hitting elmo with a baseball bat

5) Anything Kermit but esp. the one where he falls off the building

6) You Know This Boy Got His Free Taco

7) 2 Bros Chillin in the Hot Tub

8) Waelcom to my Keeetchen we have bananis and avocadis

9) Whoever Threw That Paper Your Mom’s A Hoe

10) i spilled lipstick in your valentino bag (yOU SPILLED WHAHULAUG LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINE WHITE BAG)

6: Where do I see myself in 21 years?

One of my dreams in life is to marry the heir to a prestigious winery out in wine country. I have a vision of myself at 39, waking up at 10 AM on a tuesday and standing on my private balcony in my state-of-the-art spanish stucco villa. i am drinking a chardonnay despite the early hour whilst i observe my grape empire in my silk negligee. the only event planned for the day is a portrait sitting for my rottweilers (4 of them), for which i have arranged spaces in the family’s private art gallery. i am aging well despite the harsh california sun and my partner and i have a trip to tuscany planned for the fall. it’s a charmed life and i never tire of eating grapes  

7: Top 5 favorite cryptids

1) Nessie (Nessie is a true lady I believe in her)

2) Mothman (not real)/ el chupacabra (possibly real)

3) the kraken (definitely real)

4) Bigfoot (not real but a legend anyways)

5) the yeti (real only in russia)

8: Do I Believe in Ghosts

It’s a complicated topic and of course we will likely never know for sure but the short answer is yes. in my opinion though, what ghosts are is the important question: are they really the dead coming back to haunt the earth? are they just manifestations of energy that the mind interprets into recognizable shapes? hallucinations? or is it wish fulfillment and the reduction of tensions on a heavy conscience? our brains are capable of powerful things, but it begs the question as to whether if a human desperately wants something to be true does the human mind have the power to make it true? c. s. lewis mentioned once that he never understood the ghost debate since, given that ghosts are real, they have no real power over us or anything interesting to say. but i believe that just goes to show how the mystery is far often more important than the solution.

9: Best/Worst Month of the Year

Best: May/November (spring/fall in full swing, holidays, time off school, great atmosphere) Worst: August (too dang hot & start of school)

10: What is one of my embarrassing secrets

I didn’t learn how to tie my shoes until I was nine (velcro ftw)

11: What is my Dream Date

We go cryptid hunting in the woods and have a picnic in the dark; you supply dogs for entertainment and guardianship purposes, i supply drinks and the cryptozoological myths we are chasing. Afterwards we get gelato

12: Top 3 Presidents

(this is based solely on arbitrary opinion not policies) 1) Barry Obama 2) Lincoln  3) Millard Fillmore (his name is funny) 

Honorable mention: jimmy carter (he was the only noncorrupt man in office for like 30 years before barry)

13: Top 3 Vice Presidents

1) John Adams, if nothing else but for the drama this man caused 2) Walter Mondale 3) the big boy JB 

Honorable Mention: Nichard Rixon

14: Top 3 Secretaries of State

1) Madeline Albright 2) Henry Clay 3) Elihu P. Washburn 

(note: secretaries of state have the funniest names, like Hamilton Fish (1869-1877) rest easy Mr. Fish)

15: Worst Activity they make you do in middle school PE

Middle school P.E. is the worst in general but I’m going to say either grading you on your shotput skills (?) or BMI (??) or just the tuesday run in general (luther kids know)

16: Top 4 Worst Scents

1) Washing a knife covered in peanut butter 2) Really cheap perfume that they sell in checkout lines at convenience stores 3) Olives 4) organic deodorant

17: Top 7 Conspiracy Theories

1) The Denver Airport is an underground military fallout shelter designed to protect the 1% from nuclear warfare

2) A Roman pope adjusted the Gregorian calendar so that his reign would fall on 1000 AD so we’re actually living in the year 1783

3) Paul McCartney is dead and was replaced prior to the Seargant Pepper album by a lookalike named Billy Shears

4) The state of Wyoming is a myth

5) Avril Lavigne died and was replaced back in the early 00’s

6) The Titanic sank because too many people went back in time to prevent it from sinking

7) Not to be cliche George Bush and the military-industrial complex orchestrated the 9/11 attacks (jet fuel can’t melt steel beams and all that)

18: Inside jokes with myself

I’m not usually a “gamer” but every year without fail someone introduces me to a game exactly at finals time and I get hooked and it ruins my gpa and study habits. This year it’s Stardew Valley, last year it was Dream Daddy and the year before that it was undertale and I blame Jojo for absolutely all of it bc they are usually the instigator. Anyway, every year I joke with myself about what game will derail my grades this year

19: Top 5 Worst Tactile Sensations

1) Putting tights or leggings on wet, hairy legs post-shower

2) Running fingernails along cardboard

3) Sweating in a turtleneck

4) Having wet, salty hair after swimming that drips down onto your back and makes the top of your shirt damp

5) Reaching into a bag of grapes and only finding really soft, slimy ones

20: Best Cat I’ve ever encountered

One time my friend and I were leaving Romancing the Bean and walking back to her car and the fattest, fluffiest, softest ginger cat I’ve ever seen came trotting up to us and flopped over at our feet. He was such a good boy!!! And so friendly with strangers!! He was very well groomed and just wanted some love, and whenever we stopped petting him he would jump up onto our legs and leave little wet paw prints everywhere, I wanted to kidnap him

21: Best dog I’ve ever encountered

All of them

22: Best squirrel I’ve ever encountered

My dad has befriended a squirrel named Nutty that likes to sneak into his office when the door’s open and steals peanuts. if the door is closed he’ll bang on it and scream until we acknowledge him

23: If I were a furry what would my fursona be

I do not know because I am not a furry. HOWEVER someone who is well-versed in furry matters told me once that I would be one of those long, nervous dogs like a greyhound maybe and tbh I could see it

24: Favorite/Least Favorite Disneyland Rides

My favorite has always been haunted mansion, except for the halloween season when it’s nightmare before christmas and then it’s thunder mountain. I just love the outside atmosphere of the house bc I’m a slut for that southern gothic architecture style. Worst is splash mountain because there’s no seatbelt and LOGICALLY i know I don’t need one but it doesn’t stop me from having a panic attack every time I get on and we go up the big hill as I worry about being flung from the toboggan across the park

25: Least favorite restaurant within 10 mile radius of my house

I live over by Porto’s so I am #blessed to be surrounded by some really dope food. However there is a hipster place a couple of blocks over in Toluca Lake that only serves bizarre food like fried chicken in maple syrup with waffle fries and it’s surprisingly bland, so the lack of taste combines with how expensive it is probably makes it the worst (it’s also forgettable bc I can’t even remember its name)

26: Rank of JBHS history department according to how good of a parent they would be

9.Mr. Bixler - I have never had this man so I can’t say shit. NA/10

8. Ms. Snowden - I’ve never had her either but I’ve heard enough about her between Burroughs and Luther to know that this woman is kind of scary, intimidating and uptight, all things I personally do not desire in a parent. 2/10

7. Mr. Hatch - I love Scott Hatch but he is a tremendous mess of a man. Judging by his wife’s instagram photos his idea of parenting is taking naps while cuddling his children and letting his wife do the rest of the hard work. Plus he seems like the type to be too wrapped up in his own melodrama and too busy hangin out with his best friend Edward Frankenbush playing Xbox to pay much attention to his kids. However, he did skip the first day of school to take his daughter to kindergarten so he gets points for that. 4/10

6. Mr. Lee - Mr. Lee is a very respectable guy who seems like he does a very good job providing for his family. He’s ranked as middle of the road because he’s a naturally private person so I can’t speak to his parenting tactics or personality much, however the few stories he shared about his daughter were very cute and he does the typical teacher/parent things like making her his screensaver on his computer. Overall, a very quality dad and man, 6.5/10

5. Mr. Fitz - Kyle Fitzgerald is similarly a mess of a man, but the difference between him and Scott Hatch is that he seems to make an investment in his kid. He always talks about current events in terms of what idiocy his poor daughter will have to put up with which shows his devotion to her well-being and survival in a confusing world. Also he brought her in to go swimming once while I was working at Verdugo and I got to see them having a great time on the splash pad and it warmed my heart. Great dad 7/10

4. Mr. Piper - Richard Piper is such a good father but in a detached way. He loves talking about his son and wife just as much as he loves talking about planes. The real kicker? When he talks about taking his son ON planes and geeking out over history together. He also asked all of his classes for people looking for tutoring work when his son was struggling in math which is so cute. Good guy Rick gets an 8/10.

2. (tie) Mr. Frankenbush and Ms. Hacker - Ed and Jan are both beautiful people. I know Ms. Hacker is #divisive but I personally am a big fan and would die to have her guidance in my daily life. She’s always interested in what’s going on in people’s lives and sure she’s definitely chaotic but it’s a loving chaos that’s only looking to help other people. I’ve not had the pleasure of having Mr. Frankenbush but he always is hanging out with his son Joey and they love coming to the Burroughs pool and playing water polo together; they spend a lot of time together since his wife works so much and they have such a buddy friendship. Both of these lovely people are super devoted and invested in the youth and would make great parents. 9/10

1. Mr. Clark - A god. We don’t deserve this man and I can’t sing his praises enough. Were were all lucky enough to be Greg’s children I don’t think evil would exist in the world. 11/10

27: Worst book I read for school

Hands down Tale of Two Cities since it’s the only one I’ve never finished. Dickens just doesn’t do it for me I guess plus I get really tired of the one dimensional characters and how much he romanticizes Lucy

28: Favorite little-known tidbit of history

When Richard Nixon went to Soviet Russia as Eisenhower’s VP during the cold war his secret service agents detected higher than usual amounts of radiation coming from Nixon’s hotel room, so they started talking loudly about it bc they knew the Soviets had planted buds and were listening. Within like an hour the radiation had vanished and they never heard anything about it again so man Soviet’s ain’t sly

29: 5 Places in Burbank That Are Definitely Haunted

1. Coral Cafe for obvious reasons, look up the ghost on youtube

2. The View seems like it would have some kind of el chupacabra-esque creature prowling around, maybe a mountain lion hybrid

3. Fry’s Electronics

4. The abandoned train station under the bridge

5. The LA river by the equestrian center

30: Rank of all the AP classes i took in order of entertainment value

9) AP Bio: I liked bio but the class wasn’t very entertaining. There’s not a lot of humor in bacteria and cells, and Mr. Van Loo is much more of a calming than a humorous and chaotic presence, so overall it takes the hit as the least entertaining class.

8) AP Stats: Math is similarly not very entertaining, but Mrs. Hollingshed’s erratic personality gives it the edge over Bio. Definitely more humorous than expected of a math class.

7) AP Econ: I bombed econ and business/money isn’t very entertaining but Jan Hacker made it so thanks to her chaos (love her though).

6) AP Euro: European history is incredibly iconic because, spoiler alert, Europeans are idiots and historically speaking everything that can go wrong, will go wrong. I just wish I remember it since I think idiot sophomore Lily slept through most of the class so needless to say I didn’t soak up much of the entertainment value. If it were up to me I’d take it over again and maybe stay awake this time.

5) AP Lit: Lit was just as much challenging and intimidating as it was entertaining, so it balances out. Mrs. Caluya is notably iconic and the books we read were all pretty interesting so it gets a high vote from me.

3) (tie) Gov/APUSH: History is always entertaining in my eyes since people do stupid things out of pettiness. These two tie for different reasons: Mr. Piper is a great teacher and that mock trial we did for the industrial age was great, but the subject was also extremely entertaining overall. I loved reading about how John Adams made making fun of him illegal. Gov was mostly just entertaining because of Mr. Hatch and how salty his is about the government. His sarcastic comments about how corrupt everything is gave life to an otherwise pretty lifeless subject.

2) AP Lang: aka the class with no curriculum, or the Kuglen Hour. I love Mr. Kuglen so much and he is responsible for 99% of the amusement in the class. I somehow learned how to be a better writer by listening to him complain about Trump and everything else under the sun for an hour every day so it was well worth it. Also who doesn’t like a class where you read Dave Sedaris for homework?

1) AP Psych: Without question, this is the epitome of entertainment. Psychology is just a mishmash of people trying to figure out why humans are as stupid as we are and why we do dumb things. Add in all the iconic psychologists and history and a class led by salty Mr. Hatch and you have a recipe for an entertaining year.

31: Top 5 Iconic JBHS teachers that I NEVER had (no particular order)

Mr. Peebles: A quirky man who I would have loved were I any good at math whatsoever

Mr. Arakelian: Band kids hate him but the stories I hear are so frickin iconic that I wish I could be an honorary band kid for a day and see the horror firsthand. If you have Arakelian stories please send them my way I’d love to hear about your pain

Mr. Frankenbush: A sad boi who everyone should get to experience and I regret never having.

Dr. Madooglu: He was so kind to me after the failed anti-trump lunchtime protest last year and he didn’t even know me. I wish I could’ve experienced him as a teacher.

Mr. Clark: The man, the myth, the legend

32: List of some iconic swim horror stories

Charlie breaking his hand after he lost a race and punched the gutter as hard as he could

Some idiot JV boys smearing poop all over the Burbank High locker room

The entire JV team getting Burroughs swim banned from Islands

Me almost passing out at the Los Amigos meet last year after I didn’t eat or sleep all day

Everyone always feigning illness or injury to get out of swimming the 4x100 relay

Getting in trouble for watching boys volleyball practice instead of doing the weight room sets

Every. Single. 5AM morning practice before school.

When coach martin finally figured out how periods work and suddenly we couldn’t use that as an excuse for not swimming anymore

33: What Office Character Would I Be

A mix between Angela, Oscar, and Kelly (we love our dramatic icons)

34: #1 Thing I’d Bring With Me to a Desert Island

Castaway for instructional purposes

35: What Would I call my memoir

Schadenfreude

36: 7 Best Buzzfeed Unsolved Episodes (no particular order)

This is one of my favorite shows so these are my recommendations:

1. 3 Horrifying Cases of Ghosts and Demons - one of the very first and best episodes; a 45-minute special where the Boys investigate the Winchester house in San Francisco, the Island of the Dolls in Mexico, and the Sallie House in Kansas

2. The Strange Disappearance of D. B. Cooper - A man going by the name of Dan Cooper hijacked a plane, demanded money and passage to Mexico, and then at some point jumped out of the plane and was never seen again. To this day no one knows his identity or his fate despite some of the ransom money turning up in a river somewhere.

3. The Haunted Halls of Waverly Hills Hospital - Ryan and Shane explore an abandoned asylum in Pennsylvania and some creepy stuff ensues. One of the best supernatural episodes

4. The Thrilling Gardner Museum Heist - An almost hilarious story (with reenactments!) about a seriously inept security guard and the loss of some of the world’s most beloved paintings. This was one of the first episodes after they started making money and the production quality is off the charts 

5. The Scandalous Murder of William Desmond Taylor - Another excellent reenactment story about one of Hollywood’s first and biggest scandals, the suspicious murder of a leading film producer.

6. The Enigmatic Death of the Isdal Woman - A woman’s body was found suspiciously burned in the European wilderness and no one knows who she is or how exactly she was killed. Watch if you like espionage!

7. The Strange Killing of Ken Rex McElroy - An entire town seemingly rose up to murder a douchey, violent pedophile. One of the only episodes that’s actually happy?

37: 6 Things I would Have Changed About High School

1. Definitely would have joined yearbook as soon as I could

2. Wouldn’t have forced myself to swim for all 4 years; if the passion’s gone then you shouldn’t force it. It’s just a sign that you need to move on to better things

3. I would’ve taken more AP’s and maybe tried another stem ap class. I’ve always been self-conscious about how bad I am at math, but I’ve gotten a little better over the years and instead of being too afraid to challenge myself I would’ve liked to see how I could do and prove myself.

4. Worrying less about grades!! I killed myself over my grades for like three years and then I just kind of let myself go. I would have let myself have who knows how many more hours of sleep and taken the L on a couple of assignments; I’m still learning that my health is more important than perfection.

5. Meeting the right people! I wouldn’t have restricted myself to a few friends and would have branched out more by joinng stuff like JSA. It sucks meeting the right people your senior year and realizing that I was hanging out with the wrong people this whole time.

6. Spanish instead of French.

38: What Would I Name My Farm Animals if I had A Farm

I’d definitely name them all after female Shakespearian characters. My cows would be Hippolyta and Titania from Midsummer, my horse would be Desdemona from Othello, my chickens would be Gonereil, Regan, and Cordelia from King Lear and my goat would be named Gertrude from Hamlet

39: Most Useless Talent I Have

I have a really strong internal clock so when I don’t think about it too hard and guess intuitively I can usually predict how much time has passed/what time it is without looking at a clock. It’s really only useful for estimating how much time I wasted standing in the shower staring at the wall

40: Top Regret After Writing This:

Writing this instead of studying for my econ test in seven hours.

Thanks for reading!

[jaeminlore]

enemies to lovers!jonghyun

a/n: for razzle dazzle anon!

i don’t talk about shinee that much but they’re my second bias group they mean the absolute world to me

and this one is for the softest boy in the world i love him so so much

anyway let’s get to the rivalry

wedding planner!jonghyun is known throughout all south korea as the best in the world

everyone wants him to plan their weddings, from idols to comedians to actors to politicians: there isn’t anyone on earth who doesn’t want jonghyun as their wedding planner

he’s just that good like he knows which colors go together he knows which caterers are best he knows the best deejays

there’s nothing he can’t do especially with florist!jinki and cake designer!taemin by his side, not to mention dress designer!kibum and mixologist!minho always ready to help for a discounted price

which the clientele obviously don’t know about

the boys work for other wedding designers too, as well as different events that their job calls for

so most of them are in the know when it comes to who is who in the event planning business esp kibum

actually it’s just kibum

you’re a wedding planner from your own country, but because of your amazing skills you’ve been invited to korea to help plan a wedding for this super famous actress who is getting married

and jonghyun thought he was a shoo in for that job so he’s a bit ??? when the news comes out that the “best wedding planner in the world” had been booked

because tbh he thought that was him

taemin in the bg: no no ur just the most famous in korea,,, there’s a difference

anyway jonghyun is mad bc you’ve essentially stomped onto his turf and are now taking his very rich clientele like it’s not going to slide

so he finds your number and calls you up

“y/n’s wedding event service, what can i help you with?”

and jonghyun is like cut the speil lady i know you’re out for my title

nd you’re just what title? who are you??

this did offend jonghyun that you somehow didn’t know his voice over the phone so he dramatically replies “this is jonghyun obv,,, the best wedding planner in the world”

but you must not notice the hostility in his voice bc you reply, “dude i love you! you’re like my hero when it comes to weddings,,, all my weddings are inspired by you”

jonghyun kind of wants to be flattered bc no one has ever told him smth like that before and also your words made his heart race with joy but he’s going to keep his cool and still play the “i hate you” card

“so it wasn’t enough to steal my ideas, now you have to steal my clients?”

nd you’re like wtf is wrong w you dude it’s just a wedding and you think about being civil with him since you look up to him but now you want to bite back with the same venom he shot at you

“maybe if you’d make your rates a bit more affordable, people would have the money to choose you over me”

“my prices are reasonable!”

“maybe to politicians and millionaires?? but people with basic income do not want to spend the amount of money you charge to have a wedding... esp if they’re trying to save money”

jonghyun feels INSULTED and ASHAMED bc he thought his prices were pretty good

“my prices are some of the lowest rates in south korea”

“well it looks like you’ve got a bunch of greedy wedding planners then bc you charge almost double what i charge in my country,,, that’s why they asked for me instead.”

jonghyun isn’t sure he can change his prices like the last thing he wants to do is make his clients broke but he also doesn’t want people to think he’s cheap

he almost wants to ask you how you do it: stay afloat at low prices and still able to pay rent

but he’s still angry and annoyed w you so he resists and hangs up on you, not feeling up to talking to you

so after that you sort hate jonghyun too like why did he have to be so rude to you??

but fast forward to a few days before the wedding and your florist cancelled???? and you have no idea what to do bc the whole theme of this wedding was floral paradise and you can’t have floral paradise without the floral

and you have no idea what you’re doing like you can’t find another florist this late in the game that will agree to give you a ton of flowers on short notice

they’d have to work overtime and it’d be such a chore and you feel at such a loss

your first overseas wedding and you were so excited bc your work would finally be in the news and more people might ask for you by name

all that work down the drain bc a florist who quit for unknown reason

you feel like crying and for some reason you pick up your phone and call jonghyun

yeah you sort of hate him but he’s also a fellow wedding planner and he’s the closest one you can go to right now who probably has advice

and it’s late when you call so his voice is super groggy and low “hello?”

you’re shaking like your anxiety is to the max and “jonghyun? it’s y/n and —”

“are you crying?” his voice is v soft and sweet like suddenly he doesn’t sound so mean

“it’s just that my florist cancelled on me and the wedding is in two days! how am i supposed to find a florist who will give me a whole truck load of flowers in two days?? the theme is based around flowers and if i fail this one no one is ever going to trust me again i’ll be known as a failure and an untrustworthy planner”

and jonghyun just kind of shushes you like “look you’re really tired and worried, but you need sleep okay? get some rest and meet me at the park on maple at around eight o'clock”

he doesn’t really give you time to agree but for some reason his words calm you, and you think jonghyun might actually help you

the next morning you grab all your planning stuff and head over to the park, hoping that jonghyun didn’t send you on a wild goose hunt just for fun.

when you finally spot him, he’s sitting around with four other guys and like five or six dogs running around and chasing each other

when you see jonghyun you lowkey gasp like wow he’s v handsome irl too bad he’s so rude to me

but then he smiles and walks up to you, looking sort of nervous “hey, um, these are my friends. jinki here is a florist and if you want, we can all pitch in and get the decorations ready for the wedding using the flowers he has”

you genuinely don’t know what to say like you sort of thought jonghyun was just going to make a laughing stock of you but he hasn’t

“aren’t you going to tell me that you’re a better planner than me?”

jonghyun shrugs “i mean, i am, but as a planner i know that it’s important that every wedding goes off without a hitch. i will push away my feelings for the good of the wedding”

it’s not the apology you wanted but you have more important things to worry abt so you’re like great!!! let’s go!!!

and turns out jinki is super sweet and owns this really small flower shop and it’s filled with a bunch of pretty arrangements and stuff

and he was more than ready to give you a helping hand

you gave him all the blueprints and drawings you had ready and jinki was like !!!! i can do this !!!!

and he shows you all of the flowers he has and all the different ways he can arrange them

so you two plan centerpeices and aisle markers and stuff

once you’re satisfied you show it to the other boys and everyone gets to work replicating all the pieces

and you’ve also got to make your own banners like you have to find siLK

and kibum is like dndnsnnsks well i have a ton in my office i’ve got eggshell and pearl and cream and lavender and rose and —

jonghyun cuts him off like we’re on a schedule buddy!!!

so jonghyun decides to take you to kibum’s house since he needs to drop all the puppers off anyways

they’re a bit of a distraction at the flower shop since taemin and kibum can’t seem to leave them alone

and when you arrive you see the pearl colored silk and immediately know it’ll go with the flowers

so you grab it and drape it across the edges of kibum’s desk “so imagine this is the aisle and it dips between each pew with a lil bouquet matching the bride is holding it up”

and as you’re talking you get this huge smile on your face and jonghyun begins to feel bad for being so rude to you over the phone bc

rlly you’re just like him: someone who wants to make others happy

and you both only have the bride and groom’s best interests at heart

it shouldn’t matter who is planning the wedding as long as the couple is happy

but jonghyun keeps this all to himself like he has some pride yknow

he helps you cut the silk and fold it neatly so that it doesn’t get messed up on the way back

and when you guys arrive everyone is amazed bc the colors look rlly beautiful together like all the boys are lowkey getting emo

esp jonghyun he always gets really emotional when he helps w a wedding bc he kind of dreams of his own and he can’t wait for it to be perfect and beautiful and amazing

most importantly he can’t wait to have someone by his side who makes him forget the beauty of flower arrangements and dresses and cakes

anyway so it takes well into the night before all the arrangements are finished

and the boys are already planning on helping you place them in the church and reception hall the next day bc you’re on a time punch and this was all the florists’ job

so they come over and everyone gets started on a different section of the church

jinki tells you and jonghyun to go to the reception hall and set up the centerpieces and everything

jinki lowkey ships the two of you okay

at the reception hall you both just set up the flowers and hope everything will be done before the rehearsal dinner that night, or else you’ll have to tell the bride that she lost her florist

you’re hoping she’ll never find out abt your screw up

when you guys are done you just sit and breathe bc …. finally ….. it’s over and you can rest

jonghyun is sort of close to you like his arm keeps brushing against your shoulder and you catch him more than once stealing glances at you

“thank you,” you say, bc you can’t really put into words how much his help means to you

he nods, “yeah, i guess when the couple books a sucky wedding planner, a mistake like this is expected”

you think he’s being legit and turn your head, almost sad that he still hates you

but he’s smiling at you, a teasing glint in his eye

you push him like dude that wasn’t cool i’m still on edge

but jonghyun keeps talking like “yknow, since i saved the day, it’s rlly only fair that you take me to the wedding as your plus one. that way i can make sure you don’t screw anything else up”

you glance at him again, and notice his ears have turned a bit red “you mean as a date? are you asking me to ask you on a date?”

“no,” he scoffs, “i’m telling you that you should repay me by making me your plus one”

“but essentially you want to date me”

“no i don’t,” he says, but he’s smiling and you find yourself unable to keep your own grin back 

“fine then. jonghyun, do you want to be my plus one to the wedding? i’d really love it if you were my date.”

jonghyun is lowkey super happy that you’ve agreed and reaches for your hand like “well if you insist”

it’s all kind of history from there

let’s just say you’ll have to be planning another wedding soon

;)

jk jk

the end