#and thanks to all the lovely critters I met who were so kind and welcoming!

[helimir]

How's that for a field test?

Denver Fan Expo, 2023

[stagred]

　ANONYMOUS CALLED IN! : I've left you something before on borderline shameful exotica that made my tail twitch in a language I learned many years ago, but now I just want to have more of a casual polite little written letter here since I heard you had a question given to you regarding your father. I find fathers irrelevant myself as if you do remember my last little note to you about not having a lap to sit on. That wasn't supposed to come off as it may have! I swear!

　My mother and the coven always said fathers were just something needed to create...I suppose in ways that is certainly true! But you always need mothers to create men anywho, as feminine aspects overpowered the masculine, she would say. Stronger grips and graces to rule them all even under the iron grasp of a man in power.

　It's almost like bears in a sense. But I do so believe we all have soul attachments to the critters of the forest, even if some of them can be torn apart with big teeth and claws.

　Oh....I do digress. My deerest apologies, Monsieur Alastor.

　But they do say there's something special about those who love their mamas. So here you are with a more delicate notion of the question as I do enjoy your thoughts.

　What was your mother like?

　She certainly did an astounding job at raising you. So polite, so charming so much more than the typical one down in the pits. If I could, I'd bake her an apple pie for creating such a lovely stag. Bless her heart.

　- une petite créature des bois

　" Ah, welcome back, piti mwen an! And what a lovely prompt you've brought me today! My dear manman -- Charlotte, though she preferred Lottie -- was young, talented, with a bright hope for her future! Unfortunately for her, she was born in 1884, hardly a kind year to those of us with a darker hue to our skin. Despite this, when my mother was seventeen, she left the little shack she shared with my grandmother in Shreveport and traveled to New Orleans to become a performer! She could sing, act, dance, tease, joke, why she was the whole package and then some! "

　He pauses.

　" But she met a man named Quentin, a rich and charming young white man with a smile she claimed could melt the harshest snow and freeze the desert. He offered her a job as a housemaid at an inn he owned, to tide her over until her big break. And slowly, Lottie and Quentin fell in love. But Quentin was only nice to her when people were looking. Elsewhere, he was cruel and violent, and he took whatever he wanted when he wanted it.

　" When my mother was nineteen, she came back to Shreveport. Her stomach was heavy, her pockets were light, and her name was Bouchard. She gave birth to me on the floor of that little shack in the woods with no one but my grann to help her, and she thanked God that I was born looking more like my father than her.

　" She kept house for the rest of my life. It was enough to keep food on the table and clothes on my back, but she was insistent that no one be able to treat me the way she was treated. I attended a white school, I was baptized in a white church, and when people asked, I was taught to tell them that Miss Lottie was my nanny, and my parents had passed away.

　" She raised me to be polite, cordial, kind, to smile through every trial and tribulation! A smile makes people feel safe when they're afraid, empowered when they're weak, and comforted when they're lonely! So I wore my smile through every bitter moment of my adolescence. When I became a radio personality, however, I was FINALLY able to give my mother what she deserved! I had the shack turned into a memorial site for my grann, and I bought a gorgeous two - story townhouse for my mother and I to share. But she... declined to move in with me. She was afraid her presence might put my job in jeopardy. So instead, she rented a small apartment in the city, and I sent her a modest sum every month to help keep her head up. "

　Another pause.

　" She died in 1919 of fever. I held her hand until she breathed her last, and I buried her with my grann in the same place I was born. She never learned what I was doing. I'm quite content with that. "

[daydreaming-away-reality]

The Sweetest Thank You

Bunnymund x Reader | ☁️ | 1.1k |Mother Nature!Reader

Having been around for so long, you often were not surprised by things. As Mother Nature, or (Y/N) as you preferred to go by, you had seen cities rise and fall, animals adapt, along with friends who come and go.

You liked to think that everything happened for a reason.

Forest fires? A chance for new plants to grow.

Bad thunderstorm? An opportunity for people to stay inside while nature to reconcile with tensions building up in the atmosphere. Or a way for you to express your anger you really needed it.

Love?

Well, that one was a bit harder to explain since it was out of your control. But love to you was sharing a special kind of happiness with someone who meant the world to you.

Love was something special. 

Despite everything that changed in the world, love seemed like it seemed to persevere.

When you had first met Bunnymund, you had been bringing a touch of spring somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere. While there were spirits for different seasons, you liked to step in occasionally to help. Nature was your specialty after all.

It was rare for you to meet many new spirits with how big the world was, but getting to see another spirit was always a welcome surprise for you.

Bunny had been complaining about how cold it was as you were checking up on a flower patch that wasn’t going to bloom for another week. Having realized that the two of you could see each other, you soon learned that the dedicated Guardian of Hope was scoping out the area for Easter which would be arriving soon.

Hearing about that, your (E/C) eyes were drawn back to the flower patch behind you. 

“You know what could bring more hope into the world? Flowers.”

You had explained how sometime beautiful things had the power to encourage hope and had offered to teaching how to wield the magical powers over flora.

Although the two of you never intentionally met up with one another, you would always take the time to catch up and talk whenever the opportunity arose.

Spending some time in your favourite forest, you were spending the day checking up on the plants and animals that lived there with you. The gentle warmth of sunlight tickled your skin as you waved to the little critters that happily darted around you.

The excited sound of bird chirping paused you in your tracks. As you approached, one of the birds flit over to the branch next to you.

“Good morning,” you greeted softly. “What’s gotten you all so excited?”

A series of chirping came back as a response. 

Surprised by the response, you looked at the little guy with a confused smile. 

“What do you mean a visitor came by?”

Another chirp caught your attention as some of the other birds flew towards you. They seemed pretty determined to take you somewhere.

“Okay, okay,” you agreed to their insistent words. “Lead the way.”

After a few minutes, you arrived at a small clearing with carefully wrapped gift sitting in the middle. Giving the birds a look, you moved over to the package. It was small and fit in the size of your palm. On top of the gift was a handwritten note, waiting for you to read.

To (Y/N). Happy Valentine’s Day, I hope you like my gift.

From Bunnymund

Smiling softly at Bunny’s note, you set it aside and opened up his gift. Once you removed the wrapping paper and opened the box, a gasp left your lips.

A necklace with a small charm of a red rose glimmered before you.

It was rare for you to get gifts, so you knew you’d cherish it right away, but something about this carefully chosen gift had another meaning behind it. One that created a strong desire within you to find the Guardian of Hope.

Red roses meant I love you.

Even though you wouldn’t expect Bunny to be a flower expert, he should have known that much at least.

Putting on the necklace, you took a moment to admire how beautiful the gift was before taking off. There was a bunny you had to find.

As Bunny nervously hopped around, he couldn’t concentrate on anything around him. Having dropped off his gift for you not too long ago because he didn’t know how to give it to you in person, he had been worried ever since.

What if you didn’t like it?

He enjoyed spending the time he had with you and he was certain the feelings were reciprocated. Neither of you had expressed moving past friendship in the past couple hundred years of knowing each other, but Bunny felt like he had to at least let you know how he felt about you.

What better time than on Valentine’s Day?

“Bunnymund!” 

The sound of his name scared as he nearly jumped. Spotting you moving quickly towards him, the first thing his green eyes spotted was the necklace.

The one that he had given to you, resting gently on your collarbones.

A smile broke out on his face as you dove towards for a hug.

“Why didn’t you give this to me in person?” you asked, voice slightly muffled as you nuzzled into him. 

“Ah, sorry about that (Y/N),” Bunny said. He could feel his cheeks heating up as he tried to think of a possible explanation without showing his concerns.

You didn’t give him the chance to explain though.

When you leaned back from the hug, Bunny was left speechless and in awe of how beautiful you were. Your (H/C) hair a little messy from the wind and your (E/C) sparkling with happiness. 

Bunny had fallen for your amazing personality, but you were stunning in every possible way that had him head over heels in love you. Everything about you was perfect to him.

When your eyes fluttered shut and your face moved closer to Bunny’s, he froze. 

Your lips gently brush his own, hoping to convey your unspoken feelings for him. Even though it only lasted for seconds, this moment felt like it could last forever for both you and Bunny.

When you pulled back, a pink tint dusted your cheeks as you whispered, “Thank you so much for your gift, Bunny. I love it.”

Your sweet words had the Guardian a bit flustered. Pulling you back into the hug, he could hear his heart racing. As if it weren’t going fast enough, your next words were probably enough to stop his heart altogether.

“I love you, too.” 

[dear-mrs-otome]

As someone who can’t read Japanese, could you please spoil Faust’s route? I’m really curious!

I can, sorry this took me awhile to get all down!

I’ll give you a summary of Faust’s route below the cut, so for those zooming past BE WARNED. SPOILERS FOLLOW.

SPOILERS AHOY!

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO HAVE THE WHOLE ROUTE SPOILED IN DETAIL???

I MEAN IT - A GIANT WALL OF TEXT EXISTS BEHIND THIS CUT, ALL SPOILERS…

Faust’s route begins as all of the ‘Act 2’ routes do - just as MC is attempting to return home after her month vacation in the past, the door to the Louvre appears to malfunction and she’s forced to remain in the 19th century until Comte can figure out what is going on.

Life carries on much as usual for her, as she tries to keep her spirits up, when one day in town she stumbles across a church on the edges, presided over by a kindly priest (Faust) who seems impressed by her generosity towards a poor woman he’s given medicine to whose son is suffering from a mysterious epidemic that’s begun circulating the city. One night she attends a party with Comte when a critter of some sort steals her hair ornament. Chasing after it, she winds up in a graveyard, where to her horror she sees a figure digging up a fresh grave. She tries to run, is caught by said figure (Faust), and bitten until she faints. (First CG)

She wakes up in the church from earlier and the kind priest who claims he was merely a Good Samaritan seems willing to help her get home. Soon though it comes to light that she is the woman staying with Comte, and Faust drops his ‘nice’ mask and reveals himself as a vampire - biting her once more to observe the effects and proclaiming he will abduct her to be his new guinea pig, curious about her as a person both from the future and who has been living with vampires.

Waking up in Vlad’s castle now, she meets the Terrible Trio and struggles to deal with her situation now - Faust feeds on her for the purposes of observation again, and she goes on a hunger strike briefly, defiant and unwilling to accept being captive. Only when Faust threatens the other residents of the mansion does she reluctantly settle down, and they butt heads over their wildly different philosophies on life - Faust’s mission to grant humans eternal life, her proclaiming God gives us only that which we can handle, and Faust’s disagreement.

To prove his point he begins bringing her to the church with him disguised as a nun, where she witnesses firsthand the cruelties of fate in ways her 21st century self had never encountered before - children orphaned senselessly, people coming for confession bearing the crushing weight of guilt over their own poverty and misfortune. She begins to realize how she may have been wrong, but she and Faust continue to disagree over their different viewpoints. MC still believes that hope is real and necessary, whereas Faust is a committed cynic.

She slowly comes to lose her fear of the other residents of the castle as well, as they are nothing but kind and welcoming to her, though she still is unsure of what to make of everything and remains defiant.

The arguments between her and Faust come to a head when the son of the woman MC met that very first day outside the church comes around, seeking Faust’s blessing to send him on to the next life and refusing the medicine and help offered him. Faust reacts harshly to the man’s willingness to quietly acquiesce to his fate, to MC’s horror, and when she asks him if he has nothing of hope left Faust assures her it’s long gone. When she spots Napoleon and Sebastian later, she dithers for a bit but eventually tries to call out to them, only to have Faust intercept. Still unsettled from their argument earlier, he reiterates to her that she belongs to him and bites her on the church altar, as if to prove that bad things happen to good people no matter what.

Things are strained between them after that, not helped by MC’s increasing suspicions that the strange rumors of ‘resurrections’ going on around the city in the wake of the disease are somehow Faust’s work - an accusation that clearly wounds Faust upon hearing. She meets a young university student, Alex, who desperately wants to be Faust’s assistant and is studying the epidemic. Days pass as they continue working at the church and the orphanage, until one day the disease strikes even there - and finding Faust’s medication is running out, over his protests and concerns MC volunteers to help him make more, the two of them working day and night together to develop and manufacture enough to save the children.

They’re successful, save for one girl Lina who is still very sick that they bring back to the castle to finish nursing to health. They succeed, but afterwards MC falls ill with the same sickness and collapses...only marginally coherent of a desperate Faust doing all he can to save her life. (2nd CG)

She has time and evidence to rethink some of her assumptions about Faust, realizing that despite his best efforts to crush whatever heart and kindness he has it remains. There’s more to him than just icy logic. And when she asks him about his past he finally tells her some of it - that he was abandoned as a baby, raised in an orphanage by a kindly nun, and that when she fell ill he sold himself into slavery to provide her with money for medicine. It made no difference in the long run though, the woman still died...and Faust remains the cynic when they discuss hope and happiness and how MC still clings to these things.

Rumors abound about Faust’s miraculous work stopping the epidemic at the orphanage, as things return mostly to ‘normal’ for them both, working at the church and such. They’re each grappling with changing feelings for each other, Faust suffering his first bout of bloodlust, when one morning Faust collapses in agony bleeding from his mouth horrifically, falling unconscious for days.

Everyone at the castle is fretting, Faust growing weaker and weaker, as Vlad explains his theory that Faust has altered the timeline too much by stopping the plague at the orphanage and the universe is attempting to set things to right again by erasing him from existence. He claims the same thing has happened to him before when he tries to change world events too drastically - the difference being that as a pureblood he can’t die. Faust, however, can. 

He proposes traveling back in time and attempting to nudge humans here and there, make tiny alterations to the timeline to achieve the same goal of saving the children without the backlash falling on Faust, and MC insists on going along - realizing now that she’s faced with his death, she can’t bear the thought of losing him.

Going through the door in the castle with Vlad, she ends up first back at the mansion shortly after her own disappearance (where she assures Comte she’s doing well, thereby explaining why the mansion wasn’t losing their minds this entire time) and recruiting Comte’s help fiddling with the timeline. Upon the next passage she’s ripped from Vlad and dumped far in the past - where she witnesses firsthand little Johann’s heart and faith breaking upon the death of his beloved mother-figure nun, and then the natural disaster that crushed a town he frequented as a young man. This was the moment that solidified for Faust his determination to fight against God and Fate with all he had, and kicked off his obsession with discovering eternal life. (3rd CG)

After one more timey-wimey meeting with the Past!Faust at the point when they were nursing little Lina, where she offers him some much-needed words of encouragement, MC finally finds herself in the recent-enough past to travel around Paris with Vlad and encourage people to be more aware of the spreading plague. She even urges Alex to be more wary, prompting him to start developing his own medication from notes he’d taken from Faust.

Back in the ‘proper’ time, their efforts seem to perhaps have paid off...they return to find Faust gone, and after searching frantically around the city they find the orphanage has been set aflame on the strength of rumors that the plague spread from there. (As if the universe has manufactured some new tragedy instead for it, she realizes) Faust had gone into the blaze to save the last child, but comes out horrifically burnt and near death.

They take him to the church, where things appear dire...but Faust admits to finally seeing hope and accepting this outcome, just glad that something good has come of it all. MC refuses to accept his death though, and after Faust nearly dies again she cuts herself and he eventually revives. After he recovers, Faust corners her into confessing her feelings for him and admitting his own in return, before they finally consummate their love.

MC returns to the mansion as she had promised Past!Comte she would, happy to see all her friends again. A few days pass before Faust and Charles come to collect her, setting off an amusing set of interactions between the Mansion Boys and the Dastardly Duo, but it culminates in a scene where Faust thanks Comte humbly for his assistance with the timelines and for his consideration of MC. The couple then has a late-night conversation at the church where they’re both working again about the future of their relationship.

In Faust’s dramatic end, he asks MC to accompany him as he returns back to the place of that town that was destroyed, Faust making peace with his feelings surrounding the situation and reiterating his love for MC and how she’s helped him to see hope - before he asks her to help him with a different sort of ‘eternal life’, AKA having babies with him.

In Faust’s romantic end, he explains a bit about what motivates him to take on the role of a priest, and then he takes MC back to the castle where he intends to make love to her - saying that he can’t ever lose her but can’t stomach the thought of anyone other than himself ever biting her so he will have to work all that much harder to achieve his dream of eternal life so that they can continue to thumb their noses at God and Fate for all time together.

------

Even long as this is I’m clearly glossing over things - it’s a very busy route! And it’s complicated by the time travel stuff, which thankfully doesn’t get TOO complicated. If anyone’s interested in hearing my thoughts on Faust himself I’m happy to share, just let me know...I think he’s a fascinating complex character that definitely won’t be for everyone, but I am happy he exists in the IkeVamp cast and glad for this route.

[wordsnwhiskey]

Is It Living If You've Left Your Life Behind?

Pairing: Dave York & GN!Reader

Summary: Thanks to you, Dave escaped the showdown with McCall. You planned to take him to a safehouse on the other side of the country where he could recover and get started on living a new life. In order to do that though, he has to leave his wife, his daughters and his life behind. He can't help but wonder, is it really living if he has to leave his life behind?

Rating: T for Language I guess

A/N: This is my late submission for @autumnleaves1991-blog 's Writer Wednesday. I got into my feels tonight and Dave was calling to me. It's my first time writing for him and this is a different take on Dave than I'd normally go for. A softer/angstier Dave but honestly, given this situation where he survives? I don't see classic Dave shining through, at least not until something kicks his ass into gear. The man is injured and more than a little lost. Also, I'll probably edit this later, it's 03:30 and apparently I have a knack for posting things when I should be asleep.

Masterlist | AO3

There was nothing but the open road ahead of him as he sat in the passenger seat, a permanent grimace affixed to his face. His pain ebbed and flowed but at least that meant he was alive. Alive with nothing but the open road ahead of him and his entire life behind him.

Dave really only had you to thank for that. A life debt for a life debt even if it meant he no longer had his life, not really at least. His girls were well over a thousand miles behind him, everything he’d known and loved, he’d likely never see again. You were the only thing Mac hadn’t counted on and even though Dave had lost religion a long time ago, he thanked whatever god or higher power out there that you had kept your head about you during the showdown.

He had been furious at first that you hadn’t tried to kill McCall, only stalled long enough to get him and yourself out of there under the cover of the storm. His anger had quickly dissipated though, you had made the right call, of course. He still had trouble seeing out of his eye, a concussion from being blown off of his feet and plenty of bruises complemented the odd cut or two Mac had managed to land. Things would have been a lot worse had you not intervened.

You glanced over at Dave, hunched over, curling himself into the passenger window. Dave fucking York. He had really gotten himself in it this time but you couldn’t find it in yourself to blame him. In this industry, shit decisions had to be made all the time and Lady Luck was rarely ever kind. People died, that was the business. What else was the married father of two supposed to do when he was cut loose? Assimilate? That kind of thing wasn’t for people like you or Dave York, not really. McCall was too high up on his high horse to get enough oxygen to his brain and too blinded by his own grief to see it.

Then again, you were definitely biased.

“How’s your pain level?”

You asked, and were met with a withering glare, his newly-crooked, hawkish nose only served to further accentuate the harshness in his eyes.

He hadn’t talked much during the already several day trip. Not that you needed the conversation, but you understood better than anyone he knew who was still alive aside from the man you were fleeing from, what this felt like. You hated how people romanticized it, leaving everything behind and starting over. It never worked that way. Your family and friends lived and died and you couldn’t be part of any of it. And now Dave, Dave had two daughters and a wife but they might as well be poison now. Poison to his mind, torture to think about. Poison to the touch if he ever went to see them again, because surely McCall would be watching them from afar, waiting.

The same thoughts seemed to be on his mind, from the corner of your eye you could see him slump further into the window, clutching a small photograph he had pulled from his wallet. For all that he was, former agent, mercenary, murderer, assassin, he was still a family man, a soft man at heart and going into hiding away from this family had just as much likelihood of killing him as McCall did.

“I’m not going to see them again am I?” Dave murmured as he stared down at the photo, thumb grazing over his daughters’ faces.

You opened your mouth then closed it again, contemplating giving him platitudes or the truth. He chuckled at your reaction, a hollow sound devoid of any humor.

“Spare me the bullshit.”

Your grip on the steering wheel tightened and you let out a sigh.

“I don’t know Dave. If McCall winds up dead then yeah, that’s an option. I haven’t been back to see my family but I don’t have the same… things anchoring me somewhere or drawing me back.”

Silently, he turned to resume watching the passing orange and brown landscape fly by.

It had been about another two hours since he last spoke and he had been so still and quiet, you thought he might have fallen asleep.

“Why’d you do it? Why are you doing this?”

His voice is gruffer, made thicker from the knot of emotion in his throat. It startles you out of your own reverie.

“Do what?”

“Why did you bother saving me? You could have made it out of there and been in another country by now. Fuck, you could have dumped me at a hospital anywhere along this godforsaken road and still be in another country by now.”

You frowned, somehow you had hoped his relative silence meant you would be able to get through this journey without delving into any sort of feelings.

“It crossed my mind, on both counts.”

He raised an eyebrow, not so much in surprise that you had thought about it, more so that you hadn’t gone through with it.

“I didn’t have any part in Susan’s death so McCall would have stopped hunting me eventually.”

You spared him a glance, he was staring at you intently, analyzing.

“Is this the part where you tell me you love me?”

You scoffed and looked at him incredulously then shook your head.

“No, it’s even more pathetic than that, Dave. You’re probably the closest thing to a friend I have and we’ve tried to kill each other before.”

That got a small laugh out of him, because really, what was more ridiculous in their line of work than friends?

Probably having a family. Dave grimaced as the thought echoed in his mind.

“We were the best at what we did.”

He said, with an air of nostalgia and you nodded in agreement.

“And the worst, somehow even with us each taking on contracts for the other, here we are, still living.”

The small smile faded from your lips at his silence and lack of a response. Your gaze fell on him again as he shrugged his mouth and sighed.

“Are we? Is it living if I’m leaving my life behind?”

This was not the Dave York you knew. Occasionally, you had seen the wry humor, and suave exterior give way to the side of him that accepted “New Hamster” as an answer instead of “New Hampshire” but not even that remained. The Dave next to you had all of those layers peeled back. He was raw and unsure.

You didn’t answer him for a few minutes, honestly there wasn’t much of anything you could say that wasn’t a load of shit. You were both too practical for pep talks. Moreover, it wasn’t a question you had even stopped to ask yourself. The answer and the journey to that answer was a dangerous one.

“I- …. It’s the best option you’ve got right now, Dave. It’s a pretty fucked situation, my advice? Take it one hour a time and if you can manage that, take it one day at a time.”

“An hour?” Dave shook his head and rubbed his stubbled chin with his hand. “All I’ve seen for hours is dirt and sand. While Mac is probably watching Carol and the girls like a fucking hawk.”

You pursed your lips, and eyed the upcoming sign detailing the available lodging and food at the upcoming exit.

“Well you’ll have the inside of our next motel room to stare at in another hour.”

Dave slipped back into silence and you simultaneously welcomed and detested it. Things were simpler without him getting all philosophical on you and contemplating what made living actually living. It hardly mattered though because he had already gone and planted that damned seed inside your brain.

You pulled up to a not entirely shitty motel and paid for the night before going back for Dave who was waiting in the car. The room wasn’t terrible and after a thorough check, you could at least confirm there weren’t any critters who would be keeping you company. At least there were two beds.

After a dinner of pizza from the diner down the road you had taken Dave on a detour to the gas station to get a burner phone. In your haste to put as much distance as possible between you and McCall, you hadn’t bothered to get him one earlier. Once that was finished you both headed back to your room to unwind.

Dave sat in one of the rickety chairs at the small table that seemed to be actively trying to shed it’s veneer layer. With a sigh, he went to work stripping and reassembling his pistol. It was calming, relaxing for him. All of the pieces had a purpose, an order, to be pulled apart then reassembled, very much unlike his life right now. Nothing had purpose or order and everything had been pulled apart, leaving him broken shards to piece back together.

Hours passed and by the look of him, you figured Dave’s fingers might have gone numb from the repetitive movements and his eyes were drooping, well his good eye was drooping more than normal since the one McCall had nearly managed to gouge was still a little worse for wear.

“Dave, get some sleep. You’re no good to me or yourself if you’re half asleep.”

You know he’s been fighting sleep for a while now, he does every night just like he fights the pain you’re sure he’s feeling but refuses to take anything for. For the first time since you two set off, you’re not annoyed by it. He’ll sleep soundly at least once he let’s exhaustion take him. All the better for what you have planned.

It wasn’t until 01:00 that Dave was finally asleep soundly enough that you felt you could get up without waking him. Quietly, you made for the table, using the flimsy pad of paper and pen there to write a note before you walked out the door and shut it behind you. Thankfully, the city you had stopped in was populated enough that rideshare services were available and in less time than you had figured, you were on your way to the airport.

Dave woke up and immediately knew something was off. It was too quiet and there was too much sun trying to peek through the curtains for it to be the usual time you both headed out for the day. He sat up quickly and grabbed his pistol, then looked around the room for any signs of danger until his eyes fell upon the pad of paper on the table. A sharp pain arched through his skull when he stood up, a remnant of his concussion. He took the note in hand and began to read:

Dave,

I figure, if I’m lucky, I’ve got 4 hours on you. If I’m really lucky, I’ve got 6. Anything more than that and I’m disappointed in you, Dave.

He looked up from the note at the digital clock on the nightstand, it read 07:30. A wry grin threatens to take shape on his lips. You’d be disappointed.

I’m not going to make this some sort of sappy letter. I don’t have time for that shit. You were right. It isn’t really living if you’ve left your life behind. Out of the two of us, you’re the only one who really has one to miss. The only way you get to go back to Carol, Molly and Alice is if McCall is out of the picture, so I’m going to give it a shot. I left you enough cash to pay the room through the week and then some. If you don’t hear from me after a week, call the number at the bottom of this note and tell him you’re cashing in a favor for me. He’ll help you out. Might even know someone else who can help with your family. I left you the car, keys are on my bed.

Good Luck.

Dave’s throat went dry and then he saw at least four shades of red before he finally calmed down to assess the situation. Then all at once, it was like ice had been poured in his veins and things began to shift into focus.

What the fuck was he doing?

This entire time he had been wallowing, perhaps well earned, but he should have been planning. He had let his grief for the loss of Susan, the storm of emotions he felt seeing Mac still alive and a simple job that had spun drastically out of control, completely cloud his judgement. He was just as well trained as Mac, but he had let his anger and emotions get the best of him on that watchtower, he couldn’t let that happen again.

Dave moved quickly and methodically as he collected everything he needed from the room and headed out to the car. He really shouldn’t drive with his eye being what it was but he only needed to get to the airport and he could make it that far at least.

He couldn’t let Mac kill you, like Ari, Reznik, and Kovac. Family.

Like hell if he was going to let the closest person he had to a friend get killed.

If anyone was going to kill you, it’d be him, just for you trying to pull off something as stupid as this.

He knew this was the best move though, Mac wouldn't be expecting an attack this soon this time, the attack wouldn't be in the middle of gale force winds on Mac's home turf. You... and he would have the upper hand this time.

Dave got through the airport with relative ease thanks to him having TSA pre-check, no one bothered to ask him about his eye which he did his best to hide with a baseball cap.

He sat down and waited for his flight to be called. Mentally, he began going through the disassembly and reassembly of the rifle he had with him at the watchtower to help focus himself and pass the time.

The PA system broke his concentration and alerted him that it was time to board. Dave was tense when he finally got to his seat and sat down. His jaw was set in concentration as he started to come up with a new battleplan and weighing his options. Yes, he was injured but he'd been through worse on missions and come out on top.

At least one person was going to die by the end of the week and he'd be damned if you and him weren't the last ones standing.

Thanks for reading, tagging a few people interested/who might be interested:

@wheresarizona @pascalsimp @beesting77 @boxdyeblonde @lackofhonor @kaybrownies @agentwhiskeypussyindulgence @elegantduckturtle @janebby @faithkeeper-81 @doin-stuff @danniburgh @pascalslittlebrat @mothandpidgeon @mouthymandalorianalso @phoenixhalliwell @kesskirata @starlightmornings @wyn-dixie

[dreamties]

Slashers x S/O in a LDR

A/n- Oh, anon! Same hat! Same hat! I’ve considered making something like this a few times, I was so happy to finally make them!! :D

I’m currently working on stuff for Randy Meeks, Kurt Kunkle, and Lester Sinclair- but if there’s still a character you wanted but don’t see here? Feel free to let me know, and I’d be glad to whip something up for them, as well!

Characters: Billy/Stu and Norman Bates

T/W: mostly fluff with a side of abandonment and mommy issues. and some swearing? (is damn a swear word? I used it a lot)

Billy Loomis & Stu Macher

Word  Count: 992

Y’all met in high school- the three of you practically inseparable. But then college happens- and you would’ve loved to stay with Billy and Stu, but the sort of situation arises where you can’t possibly turn away the opportunity. It would be such a mistake, especially for the line of work you’d like to be in. 

And now you may be thinking, Stu’s family is rich rich, right? Couldn’t they just,, buy they’re way in, so you didn’t have to part? Well...I guess they could? These boys aren’t afraid to take what they want, no matter what that entails- but I feel like there might be a lost sense of pride buying their way in. 

...plus...they may or may have not tried...and the school definitely did not accept that shit.

So with that, the three of you end up at different colleges- well, Billy and Stu are at the same place but...you’re so far away 🥺🥺

You’re still in California- but you’re far enough away that they can’t do one to two day trips to see you. It still hurts so much to be apart from them though- especially since both of these boys are so, hmm how to put it...they’re very affectionate and needy (while that last bit may be more so Stu, Billy still fits the Bill on that one).

You only visit each other on holidays and during the summer- and you always stay much longer for the summer.

When Stu sees you again, the first thing he does is wrap you in the biggest, almost suffocating hug- Billy trailing close behind him, laughing at his antics. He basically holds on to you for the entire ride from the airport back to the house (depending on who’s visiting who- but you’ll often come back to Woodsboro, and stay with Stu). 

They think about you all the time when you’re gone. It’s kind of nuts. They’ve got so many other things going on in their lives- they’re still participating in Ghostface murders, they’ve got college and Real jobs ((Stu doesn’t even need a job, but he likes staying close with Billy and having something to do !! He doesn’t like staying by himself too much :(  )) and even with all that? You still end up worming your way into their brains. Collective brainrot over you lmao /j

You call each other everyday- or every other day if schedules are tight. The good thing is...is y’all are both in Cali !! There are no stupid time zones, y’all don’t gotta worry about that >:( 

They want to make sure they know everything that’s been going on with you- even if it’s some boring class, it’s totally worth it just to hear you talk.

There’s lot of them telling you all the things they want to do to/with you when they finally see you. It’s all about the heavy yearning folks. The ache that you feel when you realize you can’t do that right now. And not for a long time. 

You just want to stay with your boys, cuddled on the couch, watching B-rated slasher films. You want to look them in their pretty, perfect eyes, and let your fears and worries melt away, while you tell them how much you love and missed them. And to finally feel your boys’ hairs through your fingers again.

And the crashing, sudden realization, after they drop you off at the airport- and you have your drawn out, tearful goodbyes...the kind you see in movies- that you won’t see them again. Not like that, at least. And not for months. It was back to counting down the days again. Being thankful for every little moment you had with them- and every call, and every weird text message they sent. Allowing every soft, intimate moment away from each other to guide you back home.

Billy’s not great at dealing with his emotions...especially in positive ways. The relationship can definitely be super hard on him, even if he doesn’t really show it. It brings up a lot of his abandonment issues with his mom :( Having you go off to college is losing part of his support system, and it physically pains him to not see you in Woodsboro. You’re part of his little found family with him and Stu. And when you’re not there? Sometimes it feels like he’s lost you. that you’re not coming back from school, and you’re going to have left for good. Which is not true at all, and he knows that...but god damn is it hard to not listen to that dark, nagging voice sometimes. 

And for Stu? He doesn’t mind as much. He doesn’t share this same trauma involved with it that Billy seems to have. But it still hits him in all the wrong places. He’s more likely to show his true emotions than Billy. And that’s actually really good !! He’s able to properly communicate with you whats going, where he’s at with things. 

It can be kind of exhausting trying to translate Billy’s feelings to you- for all parties involved. Or Billy, who’s learned a certain way to communicate that works, and then having to find a new way that makes sense over text and phone calls. Since you can’t see all his body language, and the way he tenses up when he’s filled with Big Emotions. 

TLDR; dealing w/ emotions is tough, doing it via limited technology is harder :(

and y’all know it’s tough on each other- but like hell you’re not gonna make it work with each other. Y’all are meant to be, even if the relationship is in a bit of an odd spot right now. 

You always have to remind the boys that this is only temporary. just until your 4+ years of schooling is over, and then you can move back to Woodsboro. Then you’ll have all the time in the world to plan your lives together.

Norman Bates 

Word Count: 784 

You meet Norman at his motel. You’re just passing through, on your way to a gathering with some of your family. He’s a little odd, but such a gentleman, that you make a note to stay at his motel on the way back home, as well.

Norman’s completely enamored by you, and you say “I’ll see you soon” that first time, he can nearly feel his heart skip a beat. He’s a smiling, happy little mess about it. You wanted to come back here, for him? He can’t wait for it.

Part of him was worried you wouldn’t come back, and that part of him was very scared- but you were so genuine, he could tell you’d be back. For real.

He still finds himself surprised, when a few days later you’re back there. When you leave, you give him your home phone number and address. Letting him know if he was ever going through your town, and he needed a place to stay that...well...he was always welcome at yours.

Y’all aren’t even dating at this point, but you definitely felt this spark- this connection- when you met. It was unlike anything the two of you had ever felt before. So...your relationship starts off slow. It builds overtime. 

It had been a few weeks since you met- with Norman’s work at the motel and whatever work you do, it was hard to find time between it all- but you’re finally able to start weekly phone calls with each other. Catching up with each other, asking him about the motel, and his hobbies...he’s so thrilled when you talk to him about the taxidermy! Not many folks are very er...into it. So it’s a nice surprise for him that the person he likes...cares about what he likes.

Further into y’all’s relationship, the weekly calls will turn into twice a week and sometimes and slowly, slowly melt into sending letters with each other as much as you can. Every few weeks or so, you’d get the sweet pleasure of seeing Norman’s simple letter in your mailbox. Smiling as you spot your name in his nice, neat handwriting.

Often you’ll include clippings from articles or magazines that reminded you of him, and little photos of yourself, your family (and pets if you have any) and critters, and bugs and shots of nature. He loves the ones you send of birds and trees the most- but he keeps every single one you send him. He has a whole drawer full of your letters.

A while into exchanging letters, the two of you begin signing off every one with an “I love you”. It’s not until you see each other in person again that you fully realize your feelings. I mean, they were always there- but it took the pair of you an impossibly long to speak it out loud- to make it official. 

It had been just under a year since you met- and you’re finally back at the Bates motel. There’s no special reason, you’re not seeing family, per se. But you’re starting something you should have started ages ago. Every part of your being is teeming with nervous excitement- what if you had read the letters all wrong? Every I love you, meant as friends?

You're quick to let him know of your arrival- he’s surprised, he didn’t expect you and you wrap each other in a large hug. You don’t let go for sometime, and when you finally do, you still clutch on to his smooth, slender hands. You lean into him, “I’ve missed you.” He looks at you with soft, shiny eyes, lost in your own. You press a subtle kiss to his lips, and pull away soon after. You feel your face get hot, and you can only imagine that Norman’s face would be bright pink.

He doesn’t say anything at first, simply squeezing your hands. “I did, too,” he smiles. It’s so delicate, and you can’t help but hold his face in your hands- studying every little detail. Of course, he sent you photos of himself from time to time- but it wasn’t the same.

The week that you spend with him is magical. When you leave you already find yourself missing the time you had with him- but you suppose that feeling and the wait to see Norman- was worth it. Plus, you still had the phone calls and all the letters with I Love You in them. Besides, with time, you’d be back at his motel- or he’d finally take you up on your offer, and you could finally spend a sunny morning, lazing around cuddled with each other in your bed, in your town.

[elsanna-shenanigans]

February Contest Submission #13: This is how it works

Words: ca. 3,000 Setting: mAU Lemon: no Content: Some descriptions of a couple of creepy creatures Song: On the Radio by Regina Spektor

From Arendelle Public Radio,

I'm Anna Nowak.

And I'm Elsa Johansen and...

"This is how it works"

🎵 This is how it works You're young until you're not You love until you don't You try until you can't You laugh until you cry You cry until you laugh And everyone must breathe Until their dying breath On the radio, uh oh On the radio...

---

Anna Nowak: Hey Elsa

Elsa Johansen: (laughing) Hey Anna

A: Welcome to our third episode

E: Or as I like to call it, our third date

A: Gosh Elsa I swear you do that on purpose

E: I definitely do darling, I enjoy seeing you flustered

A: So mean! I have to say I thought this show could not get any crazier, especially after one of the hosts impulse bought a house, right Elsa?

E: Hey! That cottage was a steal!

A: And yet here we are with episode number three: Crazy chicks chasing Cryptids. That's us by the way, the crazy chicks.

E: I see you went full alliteration for this one.

A: Came up with it while you were getting coffee

E: And, to show you my appreciation Darling, I brought you one

A: Oh my, Thank you! So... I guess, as with any good story, we should start at the beginning shouldn't we?

E: Normally a good place to start, yes. I'm pretty sure it all begun, as usual, with a phone call from one of our listeners.

A: Yeah, and this one was exactly the kind of calls I'm looking forward to the most, a truly mysterious one.

📞 Speaker 1: (panting slightly) Hey girls, my name is Honeymaren and I'm calling you from the trail head of the Enchanted Forest National Park. Sorry if I'm a bit out of breath, but I just ran back all the way to my car after I met whatever THAT was in the forest. I was hiking in the Maple peak zone when I heard a scampering in the leaves of the underbrush around me. I was trying to see where this critter was when I heard a woman screaming in the vicinity. Naturally I followed the scream to see if someone was in need of assistance, since this is quite the remote area, and when I got close a hulking, bluish figure started running straight at me crashing through the bushes. At this point I was scared and run all the way back, as soon as I felt safe I really wanted to know what chased me and you two came to mind. Anyway, this was my question. Thanks, bye.

---

E: At this point we set off to see if there were any other similar reports from the area, I really hoped we would find none because I'll admit this story spooked me a little.

A: And for a while it looked like Elsa was safe, we could not find anyone talking of sightings in the forest, except the usual bigfoot or two.

E: Until we got redirected to this person who's job is, guess what, Forest guard for the Enchanted Forest area.

A: He was really nice and agreed to an interview with us.

📞 Speaker 2: Um Hi Anna: Hello, could you tell us your name and what you do? Speaker 2: Oh yeah, right. Hi, my name is Kristoff and I'm with the Forest guard, Enchanted Forest section three. Anna: We're investigating a story about a strange inhabitant of the forest and we heard you have a story to share. Speaker 2: Let me tell you it's quite the bone chilling story, I was wandering in the forest enjoying the moonlight and listening for the deer calls to track them, you know? I was unaware of the presence lurking in the dark until it was upon me, just as I reached a clearing in the woods I heard a scream right next to me in the darkness. After that it was chaos, I tried to see what it was with my torch but I got blinded, all I can be sure of is that it was a big creature, about the size of an horse but with two sets of glowing eyes. Anna: Wait, two sets? as in four eyes? Speaker 2: Yeah, two big ones and two small ones, kind of like the primary and secondary eyes on spiders Anna: And you didn't see this creature after that? Speaker 2: Not since that night, but to be fair I was done with the Maple peak area by then and it could still be there. Anna: Thanks so much, this was really helpful! Speaker 2: Anytime, I'll be sure to listen to your program next week! Anna: Yes! spread the word.

---

E: Ok, at this point the story is getting creepier by the minute. We decided to sift through literature of the scientific and less scientific kind alike.

A: Based on the descriptions we had we ended up with a small group of possible crypto-candidates, starting with the most horse like: The Kelpie, the Nixie or Nook, and the Each-uisge. All of them malevolent water spirits generally described with the shape of an horse.

E: Followed by the frankly horrifying Nuckelavee of Orcadian folklore. According to the only known witness "the Nuckelavee has a man's torso attached to a horse's back as if it were a rider." It's also described as having no skin, muscle and entrails in plain sight, and sporting an enormous gaping mouth. All of them are said to be haunting fisherman's in many parts of the world, it is said they are after the fishes but don't mind snacking on us either.

A: By this point of the night I had to make Elsa a hot chocolate and promise her she could wake me up if she got nightmares, instead of being spooked and alone in the guest room.

E: You also promised you would not bring it up you little... I'll admit I spooked myself with all those folktales but you don't have to tease me like that!

A: (laughing) You're always as cool as a cucumber, I'll treasure the rare moments when you're flustered forever.

E: Well, you know what did nothing to calm me down? Jumping from horse-demons to spider demons.

A: I'm with you on this one. we need to mention the Jorōgumo for this category, checks both the woman screams box and the spider like box. This shapeshifting demon of Japanese tradition would be far from its home if this is the case.

E: Worth mentioning is also the Deer Lady, this benevolent spirit I wouldn't mind meeting in the woods, protects women and children according to Native American mythology.

A: We're a few hours into our research and it's late night. We've narrowed down our list of suspects to an handful, top of the list is the least palatable one, the Nuckelavee really accounts for everything, the size, the human noises and even the double set of eyes.

E: The runner ups are the Japanese spirit Jorōgumo that also accounts for most of what has been observed, and the Nixie, that checks everything except for the woman scream.

A: The next day we spent some time to try and find a scientific explanation of something like this

E: I'll freely admit I was too busy imagining dreadful creatures to really get scientific

A: My best guesses were, either someone playing a practical joke or going all in on the Scooby-Doo plan and inventing a monster to cover up some illegal traffic

E: (laughing) Oh that were your guesses? Reality really goes beyond fiction sometimes.

A: We looked up the exact area of the sighting and planned our attempt of finding out the truth.

E: I was pretty excited, I've never been camping before and this, albeit scary, was a great opportunity to go with an expert

A: Oh, I wouldn't say I'm an expert, I just like to hang around in nature when I can

E: We split up to gather our stuff for the outing and planned on meeting up early morning, to drive out to the trail head

A: I had some serious prep to do

E: Oh we will get to that soon, trust me

A: (laughing) Is that so?

E: Still unsuspecting I was heading toward our Radio station parking lot from where we planned to leave, at some ungodly hour of the morning

A: Yeah, that's my least favorite part of this kind of stuff.

E: Luckily I stopped to get some coffee, but even that could not prepare me for what you were up to.

A: Hey, I still stand by my idea, it made sense!

E: I'll let our listener make that call, let's just jump into my recordings of the events

▶ (rustling sound) Hey guys, it's... 3:40AM and I'm almost at parking lot where I'm meeting up with Anna. There is this thin fog hanging low, it's shrouding everything in its humid embrace. (sound of turn signal) ok, looks like I'm first one here, I'm going to wait for a bit. ... it's 3:45 now and Anna just arrived, let's go meet her.

(wind blowing on the mic) Good morning darling, I got you coffee!

Hey Elsa, can you drop it on the front sit? I need to set up our bait.

Bait? you didn't say anything about bait Anna. Oh my, is that a fish?

Yup.

Why?

To attract the alleged water spirit of course.

And you brought a living fish in its bowl for that?

Yup.

I don't think I had enough coffee.

---

A: Hey I stand by my idea, and it's not like I had you carry it!

E: That's fair, since it turns out I'm not exactly fit for hiking but I'm still baffled at your rationale on this one

A: And yet it turned out to be exactly what we needed, didn't it?

E: Anyway, we drove out to the Enchanted Forest national park, picked up our backpacks with snacks and plenty of water, and headed off toward Maple peak while keeping our eyes pealed. Wading through the boscage on the hunt for any sign of some strange creature

A: (laughing) Plenty of water indeed, for us and the fish. You guys can't see it but Elsa is face-palming.

▶ (breathing heavily) Anna... wa-wait a minute

Everything ok Elsa?

Yes. just. out. of. breath.

We can take a break then, Coffish was getting restless too.

Coffish?

In honor of your ridiculous love for coffee.

I don't know if I should be flattered or mad.

I'll be happy if you can be oxygenated instead.

(rustling)

shhh! Did you hear that?

Not really, what was it?

I think something moved in the bushes

Darn, me and Coffish missed it! did you see where it went?

No, just heard the sound.

Ok then, let's try and get to the top maybe we can see something from there.

---

E: As I said it was my first time doing a real hike, the next couple of hours of recording are just me either dazzled by the scenery or totally out of breath, which is ironic for an ex-professional Broadway singer, let me tell you.

A: Hey, don't beat yourself up, you did amazing!

E: Thanks Anna! You can see a lot of pictures on our Twitter @thishowitworks. The scenery was absolutely breathtaking as we walked toward Maple peak. This mountain is in the middle of the Enchanted Forest, a beautiful birch-maple forest that in this season is just starting to show hints of yellows and reds in the foliage. As you walk along the trail you cross countless brooks and rivulets that sometimes form this small but delightful waterfalls.

A: I absolutely adore all the water! we should go back in winter, then it freezes over in some of the most amazing natural architectures you'll ever see!

E: In our walk we soon climbed up to where the maples give way to tall spruces and from this point you could see the craggy peaks of the Northen mountain range capped by the Ahtohallan glacier, everything is bathed in the golden light of dawn. This is when I finally get why people subjects themselves to all the effort.

A: It's great isn't it? Our next stop was the maple peak, where we have a panoramic view of the forest, and hopefully of its mysterious inhabitant. At least that was the plan, the day went a very different direction from here on out.

E: And I guess we have to thank Coffish for it?

A: (laughing) Sometimes my genius scares me

E: Ok, let's get back to the recording of what happened

▶ Wow

I know, the view from here is something else isn't it?

I'll admit it's worth almost dying of fatigue to get here

I can see why you succeeded in theater, so melodramatic!

Shut up

Ok, ok, you stay here watch over my baby Coffish while I take the binocular and survey the forest, maybe I can see some suspicious movements.

---

A: I was looking around for a few minutes when I hear Elsa calling

E: A little salamander, probably attracted by the fish tank water came in to inspect us

▶ (whispering) Anna, we have company

what?

I think Coffish made a friend?

Oh my he's swimming with Coffish now! hope it's not trying to get an easy snack.

I think it's friendly. Hey little guy, what are you doing all the way up here?

Hey I think it wants us to follow?!

Well, I didn't spot anything interesting, we may as well...

---

A: The next hour was one of the most surreal experiences in my life

E: We followed this little salamander off the beaten path into the thick of the forest until we heard a bloodcurdling scream

A: I was pretty scared but our little guide was undeterred and so on we went

E: Let's hear what we captured on the field

▶ (loud scream in the distance)

Holy moly, Elsa did you hear that?

Yes, what the hell was that? wait, Bruni where are you going!

Bruni?

After Coffish you are banned from naming anything ever again.

Is that really important right now? let's run after him!

(rustling of leaves and heavy breathing)

Wait Elsa stop, I think I see a clearing up ahead, we should approach carefully

Good. idea. I also need to... catch my... breath in case we have to run more

Ok, I think I see something

We're getting closer, I hear some water too.

Oh damn, is that a goat?

That's what's screaming so loud?

That must be it! but why is a goat all the way out here?

Wait I think it's not alone! There is an horse there?! why is it walking weirdly?

Elsa, let's get over there and find out.

---

A: So, after all that walking and worrying we have found the source of the screams and it's a goat!

E: Not only that but the goat was living with this huge and very friendly blue Roan who is sadly blind.

A: After getting closer Elsa managed to befriend this apparently wild animals

E: They are not wild, they are super sweet

A: I said apparently! as soon as we got close we found out that Bruni likes to hang around on top of the horse head

E: Nook, that's his name

A: (laughing) I see what you did there!

E: And the goat is called Gale, she is super sweet and somehow she acts as a guide-goat for Nook.

A: Naturally with the case solved we have to call our listener, Honeymaren!

📞 (phone ringing) Elsa: Hello Speaker 1: Hello, Honeymaren speaking Elsa: Hi I'm Elsa from "This is how it works" Anna: And Anna Speaker1: Oh my god, hi girls! Anna: So, we heard about your encounter with the creature of the forest Speaker1: Yes, it scared the hell out of me. I had quite the workout running all that way. Elsa: I'm in awe you could run for that long, it took me forever to get back to the cars! Anna: First thing first, we clearly survived whatever lived in the forest! Speaker1: (laughing) I'm really happy to hear that Elsa: Are you ready to find out how this all worked? Speaker1: More than ready! Anna: We found this funny little salamander in the woods Elsa: We called him Bruni by the way Anna: It's pretty unfair, Elsa gets to name everything Elsa: You still have Coffish the fish Speaker1: I like the name, is very Punny Anna: THANK YOU! Elsa: Please don't encourage her. But I have to admit that our Coffish apparently vouched for us with Bruni because we just had to follow for a while to get to the hiding spot of the mysterious beast Anna: Yes, this is wilder than any cryptid sighting! we reach this nice clearing in the forest with fresh grass and a nice little stream and there we find Gale, the goat, screaming her little head off to help Nook the blind horse. Elsa: Meanwhile Bruni scampers all around in front of them like some kind of little explorer Anna: We contacted our friend in the Park Guard and they have launched an investigation, it seems like somebody abandoned Nook to avoid the Vet bills and the demanding care Speaker1: Oh no, that's awful Elsa: We also managed to organize a rescue and you'll be happy to know that all three of them are together and safe! Anna: And this is how it works! Speaker1: Wow, that's amazing. And reassuring, now I can go back hiking with no fear of being eaten! Anna: Well, you definitely won't be by this three, you should still watch out for bears Elsa: have fun hiking, we may meet on the trail sometimes! Speaker1: Goodbye!

---

E: That must be one of the most out there stories I've ever heard, I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it with my own eyes!

A: And for those of you who can't either we put up a video of the three of them in action on our site!

E: They are the cutest things, and they seem to like my new cottage garden as much as I do, so I decided to adopt them

A: You did what?

E: And Anna is kindly volunteering to help me care for them, how nice is she?

A: I'm doing what?

E: Thanks everyone for tuning in for this week episode! I'm Elsa Johansen

A: Wait a minute Elsa

E: That's Anna Nowak and we'll see you in next week episode of "this is how it works"!

[komatsunana]

The Chronicles of Exandria: The Mighty Nein I

And so I do what I did the last 2 times for the Vox Machina Chronicles of Exandria books, which you can read [here] and [here].

These posts by no means contain all of the information in these books, but plenty of what would most interest other fans.  This is by no means a replacement for actually seeing the book.

My best guess on up to where this book spoils is episode 46.  Anyone who has not watched passed 46 can read this without spoilers outside of vague references that don’t really matter.

First and foremost, as usual, the artistry is the most important part of the book. All of the lovely fan-created art work is even more beautiful in ink than on screen. This I promise you.

As has been noted by other people who have received the book, it is written as though it was transcribed by Beau’s journals by the Cobalt Soul.  Some unnamed writer(s) from the Cobalt Reserve from Tal’Dorei have written all parts that are not excerpts from Beau’s journals.  There are edits by Zeenoth, which indicate that the book is not a final draft.  Zeenoth is not impressed by their work.

The books’ foreword is a dedication to critters.  I won’t transcribe all of it but it ends, “As always, we are richer for your company.  For truly, what good are stories unless they can be shared?”

Unlike the Vox Machina ones, which started with pages dedicated to Vox Machina and their adventures first before branching out for guest and NPCs, this one’s table of contents shows that everything is scattered.

The first section is dedicated to the Storyteller - accompanied by art of Matt as “The Storyteller.”   An excerpt follows below:

“A story walks the land through the songs and tales of those who are touched by its heart.  And then one day, long after all the players within have met the Matron, a story will be told for the very last time.  Unless, by the Grace of the Storyteller, we are let to it. [...]  Through Ioun’s blessing we make his favorite children immortal.  You hold one of them in your hands even now.  Wake it carefully.”

Thoreau contacted the Cobalt Soul immediately after Beau’s first arrest - presumably the one with Tori.  As the monks took Beau away, Thoreau referred to her as “his misfortune.”  It is also noted in the margins that Thoreau is a good friend to the Archive.

Unlike the rest of the M9 and characters, there are no excerpts about Beau herself from her journal... Because obviously she doesn’t need to take notes in herself.  However the Cobalt Soul write their own notes about her and her reputation in the Cobalt Soul and note... more than a few times that Zeenoth thinks she is aggressive, stubborn, and quick to judge and anger and as a result they can’t put a lot of stock into her notes on other people.  However, Dairon was right to put their trust in her because her insight in invaluable and is quick to call out injustice.

Beau’s note taking is exceptional - and color-coded.

Beau’s first notes about Molly is that he is “not that bright, definitely drunk, completely full of shit, and not nearly as good of a liar as he thinks he is.  His outfit is loud, far louder than the man himself.”  His coat contains iconography from at least half a dozen gods.  Beau also noted that Molly’s swords were interesting to which the footnotes immediately made note that Molly’s swords were just swords.  Beau thought, in her first impression of him, that he might be on the run from a family of Warlocks.

The librarians decided to omit all of Molly’s earlier lies that he told Beau and the group about his background, and instead only described the climbing out of the grave and only able to say “Empty” story.  He had scars and 9 red eye tattoos on him at the time.  

There are sketches of the tattoo in full, after Molly had added to it, but it’s noted by Beau that part of the tattoo is covered by Molly’s hair.  Looking at the sketch, it is implied there are more tattoos on his scalp, rather than just the length covering it.

For Molly’s story of climbing out of the grave to be true, it means that Molly relearned to speak both Common and Infernal, learned to perform his skills and duties with the Carnival, covered his eye tattoos with additional, elaborate tattoos, befriended Yasha, and discovered his innate magic ability to use his blood to infuse his weapons with magic.

Beau had made a list of every book she knew Caleb had on his person or expressed interest in.  This includes the erotic books and the 2 spellbooks. 

On the spellbooks, Beau says she isn’t sure about them. One she knows is a spellbook, but she’s not sure on the other as he never opens it.  She wonders if it is a journal of some kind.

There is a page on Beau’s notes in the first arc with the Fletching and Moondrop Carnival - notes about the victim and all her possible suspects of which it is everyone that is part of the carnival.  All of them have a strike through their name, indicating she had eliminated each of them as a suspect at one point, including Kylre.  

Among the notes she has, my favorites are that Beau thinks that everyone in the circus hates each other, never trust a clown (about Desmond), and that everyone has a title such as Molly “The Ice-Spinner” and Yasha “The Brute.”  Beau also notes Yasha as being human.

Outside of Beau’s notes, the best information to be found about Shakästa “Hush” is from an anonymous book from Deastock titled “Heroic Deeds of the Golden Grin.”  It is because of Beau’s notes that Hush is confirmed to be real, not a myth, once and for all.

Because of how cool Shakästa was with his cool bird, Beau notes “I gotta get a bird.”  So we have him to thank for Professor Thaddeus.

Unknown what deity Shakästa draws power from.

Known members of the Tombtakers:

Lucien Nonagon (Molly)

Cree: currently employed by the Gentleman.  Blood powers like Molly’s.

[A name which as been severely crossed out but looks like it says Tyffinl]:  Currently said to be in Nogvurot.

Otis and Zoran:  Still at large, whereabouts unknown

Jurrell:  Deceased

Some lady spellcaster from Rexxentrum 

The Myriad is currently gaining footholds in Tal’dorei as well.  There is also a written notation by Zeenoth to cross reference the Myriad activity with the Tombtakers, indicating that he believes that the Tombtakers and the Myriad might be connected.

Cobalt Soul theorizes that the blood Cree claims the Gentleman took from the M9 to track them might be a new form of blood-based mutagenetic tracking.

Beau’s first impression of Nott and Caleb’s relationship was that Nott heaped praise on him and that there might be some sort of blood debt or magic going on.

Beau’s early theory on Caleb was that he was hiding from a criminal employer and had done a high-level theft.  She made note to watch if he attempted to side-step certain kinds of work.

Everything about Caleb sounded like bad news to Beau, but because he stuck around to get her out of jail Beau comes to the conclusion that that’s endearing.

Beau has made an observation that Caleb was searching for some kind of information in a book, related to transmutation.  She wonders if bartering to get him into the Cobalt Soul library will get her into his good graces, though she hopes he won’t find out that the library is technically open to all if you ask nicely.

There is an entry (in Beau’s second journal, it should be noted) were several pages were ripped out about Caleb.  This indicates that Beau had written down Caleb’s backstory of killing his parents but she, Caleb, or someone else had ripped it out before it got into the hands of the Cobalt Soul.  The Cobalt Soul draws the conclusion that Caleb is connected to organized crime.  They are also unable to find anyone born with the name Caleb Widogast in the Empire and they believe it to be an alias.

There are written notations that say that at least one of the ripped out pages were recovered, in which Beau describes the night Caleb told her and Nott about killing his parents.  Both mentions of Trent Ikathon’s name were crossed out until illegible.  Beau was unconvinced that Caleb’s memories after killing his parents aren’t still jumbled (rather than missing).

Fun fact!  All of the Caleb illustrations in his art section all either have fire or Frumpkin in them.  Because when you boil down Caleb to his essentials that’s all I’m saying.

The strangest thing about the M9, as far as the Cobalt Soul is concerned,  is that they have a goblin among their party.

Beau also wonders if Nott’s relationship with Caleb isn’t also out of love or blind loyalty.  Upon finding out that Nott feels like the parental figure (rather than the other way around, as Beau had assumed) Beau wonders what it is that Nott wants Caleb to be stronger for... Revenge? Or to change herself.

Beau notes that while Nott might have named herself so to call herself not brave, Beau thinks she is pretty brave.  She describes Nott diving into the water for Fjord’s arc twice (even if she complained the entire time) and Nott saving Jester from the blue dragon which “absolutely saved Jester’s life.”  Nott is very focused on everyone remaining together as a team.  Beau believes that while Nott’s loyalty to Caleb has not lessened, her loyalty to the rest of the party has extended to them all.

“I think we might all be her kids now.  It’s kind of sweet, in a really weird way.”

Zeenoth is extremely salty their junior drew lots of buttons instead of researching the crossbow Nott got from Hupperdook.

A list of all phrases that Beau noted in her journals that Kiri had learned in her time with them.

Welcome to the Mighty Nein!

I am Kiri!

Yes, I am very sweet.

It’s sharp.

Ooh, I’m a captain.

Where do babies come from?

Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!

If it bleeds, we can kill it.

I killed people!

Get into trouble!

She’s probably a good egg.

Go fuck yourself.

Zeenoth is VERY upset about the word fuck and wants that entry removed.

Beau thinks Calianna is too polite.

Cobalt Soul believes there is at least one other bowl like the one Calianna destroyed with the M9.

Beau hopes they don’t pick up any more stragglers, as she thinks it is getting crowded.

Cobalt Soul theorizes about why Keg had a four o’clock shadow rather than a proper Dwarven beard, wondering if she wasn’t forced to shave.  This indicates that beards are normal on female dwarves.

Beau thinks Shady Creek Run is so called because it’s full of shady criminals, but the Cobalt Soul notes that Shady Creek Run has a creek that is in near constant shade in the abundant pine trees.

On Molly’s death Beau says:

“Fuck.   That went horribly.  We lost Molly, and I don’t know what to do. [This part is crossed out: Maybe if I had-] I’m trying my best to stay objective.”

Beau also crosses out “I’m starting to like her” about Keg, and replaces it with “She’s fine, I guess.”

On Nila Beau says: “She said something really nice about Molly.  How in her clan, someones spirit never leave you.  They return to nature, and are forever by your side.  I don’t know if I believe it, but I like the thought.”

Beau wants her own “lucky smell bag” that’ll make decisions for her.

The Blooming Grove was built post-Calamity.

Beau’s first impressions of Caduceus is that he is both grounded and flighty.

Because Caduceus hasn’t eaten meat or alcohol in the time she’s known him, she thinks he’s got to have some sort of vice.

Because of Beau’s talk with Caduceus after killing the blue dragon, Beau remarks that she likes her edge and doesn’t want to lose it and go soft. But maybe it is a better, more efficient way of doing things by being there for the M9. “Gross.”

There is a note in the margins telling the editor to contact Archivist Demid (AKA the guy studying the moons) for information on the Dust family.  This indicates that he may have some special information.

Because of Jester’s defacing every town she visits, the Cobalt Soul has been able to track the M9′s movements.

The Cobalt Soul’s 2 working theories on the Traveler is that he’s a smaller/younger deity either from folk tales about a cloaked figure that either rewards or punishes heroes with a ironic twist OR a god of vandalism.

Zeenoth notes that if the Traveler IS a god of vandalism... they may have a secret follower in their ranks because of all the smut doodles in their books lately. Which of course Jester probably drew.

Beau says that as Jester told the group about her prank causing her to have to flee from Nicodranas she was full of her usual bubbliness... But was starting to see that there was underlying sadness in Jester.

Beau has known Jester has had a thing for Fjord since they first met, but after she got Tusk Love it became full-blown infatuation.

“Fjord seems super oblivious, though, which isn’t surprising for a man who occasionally wakes up covered in seawater and confusion.”

Beau stands by her and Jester’s purchase of the owl and blink dog, but she wonders how long the weasel is going to last in their line of work.

Beau wonders if it’s weird to be attracted to your friend’s mom and comes to the conclusion it is so she’ll back off... But the Ruby is smoking hot.

Beau can also see why people who want to release and evil god for Avantika. Not that she would. “She’s hot, but come on.”

No really new information on The Plank King is revealed in his section, but quite a bit is crossed out until illegible.  This could detail what connection to the Cobalt Soul he has, but was redacted.

The Cobalt claims that while the M9 titled a leader, Fjord often took that position.

Beau is making direct reports on Fjord to the Cobalt Soul and his connection to Uk’otoa.  In her latest report, she says that they’ve bought some time until their next trip to the sea............

Waiting for the rest of the M9 to come out of the Happy Fun Ball, after fighting the blue dragon, are among the rest worst few minutes of Beau’s life.

Beau believed Twiggy that she killed the blue dragon, in part because Caduceus believed her.

Beau accidentally writes “cute and dry” instead of “cut and dried” about Yasha’s background.

“For someone dressed in greys, who carries herself like a dark cloud, Yasha sure seems drawn to color and light. I wonder where it stems from.”

On Yasha being tested by the Stormlord by the “man made of lightning” the Cobalt Soul says it is not uncommon for the Stormlord to test his disciples through acts of physical, mental, or spiritual exertion.

The final notes by Zeenoth indicates that whoever wrote the book (outside of edits from Zeenoth himself and excerpts from Beau’s journals) were by someone from Tal’dorei.  Who might it be? Someone we know?

[homofocused]

tomorrow is thursday <3

and I’ve been thinking a lot about why the Critical Role Fandom is so incredible and so absolutely unlike any other corner of the internet. It was overwhelming to me when I first entered this fandom that, despite occasional whispers of drama, everyone is kind, creative, smart, and welcoming. I don’t think we spend enough time talking about how weird that is! This is the internet!! Everyone is mean all the time!!! And then you hang out with Critters and it’s like “Look at this cool art I made!” “Here are some helpful recaps if you want or need to skip content!” “Do you want to join this specific interesting Discord?”

I’ve come up with a couple of reasons why Critters are incredible, and I would like to share them.

1. It is not easy to like Critical Role in a casual way

This is not at all meant as a slight to any of us or the show itself. It’s just that when an episode of something averages about 4 hours and a good chunk of it is just rolling dice? There are over 800 total hours? Most people would tune out. But not Critters, they’ll stay up until ungodly hours to watch this story unfold! To stick around, you have to be passionate about it! Liking Critical Role casually is not easy because the simple act of consuming it requires passion.

2. Shared experience

This sorta piggybacks off the last one, but there are very few fan communities with this much canon content. If one were to consume all canon Harry Potter content, that would take about 80 total hours. That’s only 20 CR episodes! I think that part of the reasons Critters stick together so well is that we all have hundreds of hours of shared experience, of following these doofuses around on their adventures. If you and someone you’ve never met before have both seen all of both campaigns, you automatically have ~840 hours of shared experience. About 200 hours is when you usually consider someone a close friend.

3. The love y’all

I never want to stop appreciating how special it is that ‘Don’t forget to love each other’ is a standard in this community. Or that Matt says ‘We love you’ at the end of the stream every Thursday. Or even just that the art roll says ‘To the talented fans of Critical Role’ and ‘Thank you!’ The cast and crew encourage love in the community and the community encourages love for each other. That’s so special, and I hope I never lose sight of that.

4. Creativity encouraged!

Not only do the cast and crew acknowledge the existence of fan creators (not common in the slightest), they encourage, showcase, and reward the many incredible artists, gif makers, musicians, fic writers, and cosplayers! That’s so awesome! We are so lucky that the cast and crew are so open and excited about fan creators!

5. Good People attract Good People

This one explains itself. Once you meet this community, you never want to leave. And you want to show more people this incredible thing and all the cool people who care about it.

This week will be my first Thursday caught up, and I think I’m just gonna cry my way through it. I’m so glad to be here.

Anyway, I love you Critters. Never change, never stop appreciating this place, and don’t forget to love each other. It really almost is Thursday!

[spectraspecs-writes]

Korriban - Chapter 94

Link to the masterpost. Chapter 93. Chapter 95.

@averruncusho @ceruleanrainblues @chubbsmomma @strangepostmiracle thank you for reading, you get a tag. @skelelexiunderlord thank you for support, you get a tag.

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This tomb looks significantly newer than Ajunta Pall’s, and there’s text that I can actually read so it must be recent enough. It’s not Galactic Basic, but it’s not some long-dead language, either. This is the tomb of Tulak Hord, a lightsaber specialist by the look of it. So definitely more recent than Ajunta Pall, who didn’t have a lightsaber. This is the tomb where I met Lashowe, though, that’s going to have consequences as far as the tuk’ata population is concerned. Without the matriarch, there may be infighting to establish a new matriarch, or a daughter may have stepped up that isn’t fit to rule the pack. In an ideal world the pack would just go on as normal but when is it ever an ideal world?

This tomb is a little brighter than Ajunta Pall’s, but still pretty dark. There’s more to it, too - Ajunta Pall’s was a straight shot with a trick along the way. This tomb is from a different era, and relies on twists and turns as well as tricks to keep looters at bay. But we are not the first to proceed this way, and a bit of a trail has been marked by dark splotches on the walls. No, they’re not blood - even if the Sith were that weird, you’d have to carry the blood through the tomb and that would drive the tuk’ata nuts. That’s a death wish kind of thing to do. But the splotches are high enough on the wall that the tuk’ata couldn’t reach, and too regular to be natural. I can handle if it’s a trap of some kind.

The tuk’ata are not composed at all, which is what I expected. When we run across a few, they don’t attack in a uniform fashion. It’s sloppy, uncoordinated, and they don’t attack as a unit. Damn you, Lashowe, you ruined the pack dynamics. Most of them I can just scare off, but we do have to kill a few along the route marked off for us.

The route dead ends near an ancient console, sort of like the ones in the ruins on Dantooine. They said the Star Map was in Naga Sadow’s tomb, so what is this doing here? I hit a button. It still works and it displays in Basic. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” Jolee says.

“Yeah, me too,” I say, “but I think we can get ourselves out of any trouble.” I use the console to open the door.

“I dread the day you’re wrong about that.”

“Yeah, me too.”

We step through and are met with another closed door as the one behind us closes. Something… smells awful. Is the room spinning? Oh, shit, poison gas. Carth… is Carth okay?

Jesus, that knocked the wind out of me. I feel like there’s a Reek sitting on my chest. I try to look around. I’m not in the chamber anymore. Looks like the crypt. Carth - where’s Carth? He’s still out cold. Jolee’s conscious but pretending he’s not. Which he would only do if he got some benefit out of it. Something smells again. But not like poison, more like sweat. Someone here has not bathed in days, minimum, and it’s none of us.

“Awake already, are you?” Sounds like a kookier old man than Jolee, who I can actually hear huff in my head. Ah, he knows I love him. “Good!” I try to get a better look at this crusty old dude. He’s got the same grayish skin as Master Uthar, but way more crazed. “This is the tomb of Sith Lord Tulak Hord, if you don't know. I've taken up residence here, for now… it's dusty and full of critters, but it's home.”

I try and fail to sit up a bit. “Not that I don’t get the sentiment, because I would love to swap stories about dusty critter homes, but who are you and why the hell am I here?”

“Ah, yes!” he exclaims, “Introductions of course! I suppose it is time, isn't it?” Anyone like this who hasn’t had twelve cups of caff is certifiably cuckoo for Core Puffs. (Hell, even if you have had twelve cups of caff, I’d still be worried about you being a responsible adult alone.) “This other student here that I captured earlier you should know well enough. His name is Mekel. Say hello, Mekel.”

God, he looks awful! He tries to mumble something at me but can’t. From what I can tell he’s got loads of fresh electrical scarring, and I don’t think he got it playing with wires. “Poor lad,” the kook says with mock sympathy, “He's had a hard day. My name is Jorak Uln. I was once the head of the academy, so I'm sure you've heard of me.”

“Yeah, I heard you went nuts and ran for the hills.”

He blusters and can’t managed to get a single comprehensible word out, except for “stupid Uthar”, before moving on. “Anyway…” he says, trying not to release his anger on me yet, “I'd like to propose that we move onto the main event. You see, I'd like to discover if you've got the pluck of an old-fashioned Sith. Most of the drek Uthar has been passing through these days is so pathetic. Take young Mekel here… I already tested him. Didn't I, Mekel?” Mekel mumbles again, and Jorak Uln laughs. “Yes, yes, you're welcome. You see, Mekel here has the cruel disposition of a Sith,” - which doesn’t surprise me - “but not the gumption that I'm looking for.”

Well, he’s definitely lost it, and needs clinical help finding it. But that’s not going to get me out of here. “So what happens if I pass your test?”

“Why, then, you go free!” Bingo! “Tell you what… I'll even pass onto you my own personal thesis on ancient Sith philosophies. They're based on all I've learned studying Tulak's tomb. It'll make you a better Sith, I'm sure.” Which is not something I’m looking for. “The chances of you passing, however, are sadly remote.”

I like my chances, actually. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Now, now, is that any kind of attitude to take with higher education?” In my experience, yes. “I'm doing you a favor, really. So, then! This is how it goes: I'm going to pose a moral question to you. Get it right, and I torture Mekel. Get it wrong, and I torture you.” You can’t answer a moral question right or wrong, they’re opinions. But you know what, I don’t think that concerns him. “Mekel, here, is a bit weak… he probably won't be able to take much more punishment.” No, that’s some bad scarring, like “seek help now” scarring. “Mind you… get too many wrong and you'll die, yourself.” I’ve got a pretty high tolerance for electricity like that, but if it’s anything like how I was shocked earlier… I don’t want that again. But I can’t kill Mekel, either. He’s trash, sure, but he’s young trash. He could grow out of his trashiness if he’s given a push in the right direction. “I don't know what you think of Mekel. Maybe you don't like him. Maybe you think he deserves to be murdered? Well, here's your chance. Fair enough?” Okay, I can take some damage, how much can Mekel take? Trying to calculate all this in my head, work out my angles. When I don’t respond, Jorak Uln talks again. “Well, then! Any last comments before we begin, Mekel?”

Mekel looks over at me, he can see the wheels turning in my head. He grunts and says, “We can... both survive... attack him together!”

“Now, now, dear lad,” Uln says, “Do you really think your friend here will answer questions wrong just to spare little you, risking her own life? And how many correctly-answered questions before you die, hmmm? No, don't be silly… you had your chance, remember? On that note, let's begin!

“Now, then. Your immediate superior amongst the Sith is an effective commander and a fine leader. He trusts you and you like him. You see an opportunity to kill him. What do you do?”

A Sith would answer that they’d kill him and take power. But I have to be strategic about this to get both of us out alive. Let’s answer this one honestly. “I do nothing. He’s a good leader.”

“Incorrect!” Yeah, I know. “What sort of thinking is that? If all the Sith thought as you did, we would all be soft like the Jedi.” You’d also have a military that wasn’t built on fear and cruelty, but that must be too much to ask. “Ah, well. It is time for your punishment.” Oh, good God! Fuck!

But it’s over quick enough, thankfully, and he moves on to the next question. “And so we come to round two. You come across a group of humans who are threatened by dangerous animals. They plead for help, offering you a reward. What do you do?”

Hell, I’d help them without a reward. A Sith would take the reward and leave them. But I need a breather before I get shocked again. I give Mekel an apologetic look before I answer. “I take the reward and leave them to die.”

“Correct! The humans would no doubt just be preyed upon by something else, later.” Assuming I just left them. “Stand up for yourself, I say! We're not Jedi shepherds, after all.” He looks at Mekel. “Sadly, Mekel, the ingenuity of your fellow student is your loss. This is going to hurt.” Even as Mekel writhes in pain, I can’t help but be grateful it isn’t me. Even as his skin breaks and more scars ripple across.

Third question. “Let's see… ah, yes. You discover an aspect of the Force that gives you great power. Do you share it and strengthen the Sith as a whole or keep it to yourself?”

A Sith answer, as well as a scout’s answer, is to keep it to yourself. You always keep an advantage to keep yourself afloat at the end. For me it’s a hot springs on Utapau. The people there are fair traders and welcoming of outsiders, soil is rocky in a lot of places but they’ve spent millennia farming there so they know what they’re doing. Wildlife is stunning. I figured it would be a good place to settle when I couldn’t scout anymore. I guess for a Force user, a new power would be just as valuable. But I think Mekel needs a breather now. I don’t want to give it to him. But who am I if I let him die? “I share it,” I say finally.

“You gained an advantage and you share it freely?!” Dude, shut up. “Let them rip the secret from my dead hands, I say!” I plan to. “I mean... 'share it'?! Are you mad?!” He sighs. “Well, you did ask for this. It's for your own good.” Holy hell, I hate this! What the shit have I gotten myself into?

God, I need a break. “Still going?” Man, shut the hell up. “Alright, then. One of your underlings has made a major mistake which makes you look bad. He is normally very competent and skilled. Do you kill him or give him another chance?”

Personally I’d let him live. Let him learn. A Sith would kill him without a thought. And I don’t want to get hit again. Not so soon. “Kill him,” I say.

“Correct!” he exclaims. “Publicly, if you can. There is no room for that level of failure.” Dude, you’re the one living in a crypt, don’t lecture me about failure. “Not killing him would be seen as a sign of weakness... and then where would you be?” He turns to Mekel. “Ahhh, Mekel. The time has come once again, hasn't it?” Lightning shoots from his fingers again.

“Last question!” Oh, thank fuck. “You're about to die. Do you pass on your knowledge to your apprentice to make him stronger… or do you use your last breath to strike at your enemies?”

Just when I think the answer to this isn’t obvious, it comes to me: A true Sith never dies. Like… is that metaphorical, like how people still remember Ajunta Pall, or is that literal in the sense that Ajunta Pall wasn’t exactly dead? Or could it be both at once? Is Tulak Hord floating from room to room? Is there an ancient Sith no one remembers who’s haunting some cantina or something? And what does “true Sith” mean, anyway? What happens to a “false” Sith? Where did that answer even come from?

Either way, Mekel looks awful. I don’t think he’ll survive another right answer. I may hate it but I’ve still got a few wrong answers in me, and if this is the last question, then I’ll be okay. “I pass on my knowledge.”

Jorak Uln giggles excitedly. “Fool! It is a trick question! A true Sith never dies!!” You mean I was right? He laughs again. “I'll enjoy this one. Time for your medicine!” Shit shit! It’s okay, Rena, just lie back and think of droids, they always apologize for shocking you!

He gives me a moment to breathe. But it’s not a kindness. “Now, this is odd,” he says, “The test is over and you're both still alive. Well that's never happened before. Hmmmn…” Jolee shifts a bit. Carth is conscious now and even though Jolee has healed him both are still playing dead for now. “What to do, what to do…” Uln ponders, “I suppose this means you can go, Mekel.” He releases him from his grip. “I'll have to just figure out what to do with our friend, here. Run along, now.”

“Or…” Mekel says slowly, “… or I could use the Force to free her! And we could kill you!!” I feel Uln’s grip on me slacken and finally break. My legs feel jellied but I can still stand, and I pull out my lightsabers. I reach out with the Force and exhaust it to heal Mekel and myself. I hope Jolee saved some energy because we're both still only at half strength. “Seems you didn't think of that, old man!!”

“What?!” Uln exclaims, “Mutiny! Behave, students! I'll…!” Now Jolee reaches out to both of us, and I can stand on my legs again. Mekel’s scarring closes over. Carth jumps to his feet and pulls Jolee up. And now Uln loses the little he had left. “That's it! Detention for all of you! Permanent detention!!”

Uln activates his double-bladed lightsaber, but I’ve got my two out and Mekel has his as well. None of us have any Force left, but neither does Uln, which evens it out a bit. Uln focuses on Mekel, which means I can fight dirty from behind if I avoid the other end of his lightsaber. No one gives me electrical scarring if they don’t apologize afterwards. If he were a droid who didn’t apologize, well, I’d get to retune his power core, which can be unpleasant for the droid. People don’t have power cores, so I guess I have to just beat him senseless. Mekel pushes him backwards onto uneven footing. I sweep his legs out from under him and he falls over. Without missing a beat, Mekel runs him through.

He stands over him and laughs ironically. “What do you know?” he says, “I guess he wasn't a 'true Sith' after all.” He sighs and relaxes. “I can't believe that I'm alive,” he says, “You saved me… you could have easily just answered those questions and let me die. You knew the answers, I could tell, I could see you mulling it over.”

“Nobody deserves to die like that,” I say firmly, “There is no universe in which I left you to die.”

He takes a second to reflect. “Yeah, well…” he says thoughtfully, “… I see what you mean. I’ve never… I mean, I've never been on that side of the fence before. It makes you think. I'd be dead if you weren't…” He stops again, like he’s correcting himself. “… I mean, if you were a proper Sith. But you're not, are you? Don't worry… I won't tell anyone.”

“Frankly, I wasn’t worried, but thank you, anyway,” I say. He’s still quite pensive. “Seems to me like you’ve got a lot on your mind, a lot of thinking to do.” He looks at me wordlessly. “I get the impression you don't want to be a ‘true Sith’ like Uln. You’ve just got some crap to work through. There’s better places to work through it.”

“You mean… the light side?” he says softly, “I've never thought about that. Can you… can you even go back? I've done some… I mean, I've hurt a lot of people.”

“There's always remorse,” Jolee says, “And atonement. That's the harder path, though, boy. Think you can do that?”

“I…” he says nervously, “I don't think the light side is for me. But… maybe neither are the Sith. Maybe it's time for me to leave.”

I take a deep breath. “I can’t believe I’m saying this,” I say, “but have you thought about Czerka?”

Mekel scoffs. “Hell, no. Fuck Czerka.”

“Thank you!” I say, and we share a grin. “Well,” I say, “good luck wherever you end up.”

“To you, as well,” he says, “And… thank you.” He walks away, following the splotches on the wall to the exit.

Jorak Uln did a poor job of hiding his thesis. The ancient stone tablet is resting on the tomb of Tulak Hord, right out in the open. It’s not as heavy as it looks, but I am positively worn out, so Carth carries it for me out of the tomb. “So,” he asks me, “are you going to bother with any more tombs?”

“Hell, no, I’m not doing anything else today except relax with that bottle of Tarisian ale on the ship, I am exhausted.”

“I had hoped to save that till the end of the war,” he says, “but I think you’ve earned it now. But that wasn’t what I meant.” I look at him curiously. “By my count all of the other hopefuls are gone. Mekel just left, Lashowe’s dead, we’ll find out about Shaardan soon enough. Whether you’ve earned enough prestige or not, there isn’t exactly anyone left to oppose you.”

“You sound like you’ve got something in mind,” I say.

He shrugs sheepishly. “Well,” he says slowly, “I guess I’d… like to join you for that drink, if you don’t mind.”

This is a hell of a time to ask me out. Not that I’m complaining. “I’d like that,” I say.

He tries very hard not to beam. God, he’s adorable.

-----

Shaardan is dead at Master Uthar’s feet. Frankly I’m surprised nobody’s moved the body yet. “Master Uthar!” I call to get his attention, and he turns to me. “I have a tablet written by Jorak Uln.” Carth hands it off to him.

Uthar looks surprised. “It appears my old master was busy studying the writings in one of the tombs. How interesting.” He glances at me. “I do hope you had to pry this from his dead fingers.” Not exactly. “Regardless, you have impressed me with your worthy act.” He looks directly at me now. “Even if you were not the sole remaining hopeful, you have impressed me enough, by my estimation, to become a Sith in full. Congratulations, young one… you have bested the others quite completely, in more ways than one I’m sure. You have but one final test which you must take, and this requires us to travel to the tomb of Naga Sadow in the Valley of the Dark Lords. I would advise you to be rested and equipped before we leave. Return to your quarters now and seek me out in the morning.”

“My ship is still docked in Dreshdae,” I say, “Do you have any objection if I got there instead?”

“Go where you choose. But when you return, make sure that you have all that you will need… for you will face your test alone. Go, and may the Force serve you well.”

[johnandrasjaqobis]

OC Interview Meme

I got tagged by the lovely @flannelshirtandjeans (thank you and also boi it was hard to pick)

so THOMAS, at some point after Everything

How old are you? I mean that depends on what all you’re counting. I was...what, 26 coming out of the Vault? But there were 200 years of being an ice cube. It’s been a little while since. I dunno, somewhere between 26 and 230.

What do you look like? I’ve been told like I need a good night’s sleep. Which is...probably accurate. Taller than pretty much anyone but the Coursers, hair is finally consistently clean, and the bags under my eyes are designer.

Where are you from? Like, originally? New Mexico. I think. That’s the first place I remember at least. Shuffled around a lot with foster care, ended up in Boston for college. Didn’t live in Sanctuary Hills for too long before the bombs fell. These days most people just say I’m from the Vault, which I guess is kind of true. It was a very different place.

Where do you live now? Most of the time, underground. Got a nice cushy space down here, complete with real beds and a shower. The Institute is nice, clean, and people are starting to crack smiles a little more than once a week. Sometimes I get missing the sun, so we’ve -- I’ve got a place on the coast. Just had to clear out the ghouls and patch up the roof, it’s good for sort of vacations.

What was your childhood like? I don’t...actually know. According to a bunch of people in lab coats, probably terrible. I don’t remember anything before I was about 9, and that started in the system. There were a lot of different homes. A lot of appointments. All of that, it could’ve been worse. The only way to get through it is to get through it. And I had...company, at least.

What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions? I mean I think running one of them counts as allied. The Institute has standing deals with the Minutemen, mutually beneficial deals and we work with them pretty non stop. There was some...tension with the transition to begin with, but things have smoothed out for the most part. Hopefully.

Tell me about your best friend Not really sure who would count. Allie was one of the most welcoming when I first showed up here, I always appreciated that. X6 is -- now staring at me, sorry pal, but I think you count. Kinda hard not to get to know someone when they’re stuck as your bodyguard pretty much all the time. He’s a lot funnier than he’ll ever admit, and probably going grey dealing with me always getting shot at. Though -- I dunno, can Coursers get grey hairs? Does anyone know that?

Do you have family? Tell me about them I did, uh...well, I had my wife. Audrey. Ridiculous and sharp and endlessly patient. She’s been gone a while now. My son was...an odd case, don’t usually end up meeting them when they’re some 40 years older than you. He turned out about as good as I think anyone could in those circumstances. I’m just glad I got to see any of it before... Didn’t know my parents. Not sure if Aiden really...counts.

What about a partner, or partners? Well, the terminology is a bit questionable, but...give you a hint - tall, constant shades, likes leather coats, and is currently glaring daggers into my head. Also insanely protective, insanely smart, and for some reason keeps putting up with me anyway.

Who are your enemies, and why? Brotherhood aren’t exactly fans of us. The whole “blowing up their airship” probably made a bad impression, and we wouldn’t really let them settle back in when they tried to come around again. If there’s anything left of the Railroad...well, they hated us from the start. Kind of started the whole organization based around hating us. It’s understandable.

Have you ever heard of The Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them? Yeah, they’re not fans. Believe it or not I actually worked with them for a little while, straight out of the Vault. I’d had some experience with military, thought I might be able to get back in. Didn’t exactly work out. These days they stick to the south, keep their business to the DC area. We don’t mess with that operation, they don’t try to slink back up here.

What about the Enclave? Heard of them. Before my time, I guess. Heard they’ve been gone a while, didn’t come this far north anyway, so it didn’t effect much for me anyway.

How do you feel about super mutants? I’ve met one that hasn’t immediately tried to kill me, and he was a former scientist. We’ve lost a Courser to one of their bigger camps. Needless to say, I’m not a fan.

What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in? I mean there are probably quite a few I don’t...actually remember. Apparently I killed Kellogg with a damn pipe wrench. Apparently I...killed a Courser myself. Those were Aiden, though, so I don’t know if it really counts.

Have you ever fought a Deathclaw? A couple, which is way more than I would have liked. One straight out of the Vault, in Concord. One in the Glowing Sea. Needless to say I try to avoid them.

Do you like fighting? Me? No. I wouldn’t have killed Kellogg if he’d given me any other options, but...that wasn’t really the case, and Aiden’s much more into the fighting thing.

What’s your weapon of choice? I don’t really need them much anymore. More administrative work these days. Before I got down here, I mostly used this...pipe wrench. Had some nasty hooks. I had a pistol, too, but I’ve always been a lousy shot. These days my best weapon is the smoldering glower of the big guy back there.

How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?) A lot of dumb luck, honestly. I’m pretty quick, apparently stronger than I seem whenever Aiden takes over, but...I’ve had a lot of help making it this far.

Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them? They’re shitholes. I agreed to put our names down for Audrey and Shaun’s sake, and...well, saw how much good that did. Half the time they’re overrun by something nasty these days. I can’t really mind being underground, but Vaults...I don’t go in them if I can help it.

How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you? Guess I’ve gotten lucky there, too. There’s been plenty of Rad-Away treatments, and even better ones now. If anything had been affected, I guess Volker fixed it.

What’s your favorite wasteland critter? Least favorite? Guess radstags aren’t really that bad. Tend to leave you alone if you don’t get up in their multiple faces. I hate the bugs. Hate the bugs. Bastards were bad enough before, and now they’re the size of my head.

How do you feel about robots? Well. There’s a bit of a blurry line sometimes in regards to that word. Codsworth was a sweetheart, kept our house safe for however long it was. Met some asshole robots who wouldn’t stop grilling me about being a commie spy. Some people...still call the synths robots. Gets a little complicated there. But things vary there, too. But I’m definitely more attached to some than others.

How many caps do you have on you right now? Now? None. Not exactly any use for them down here. We keep a fund for when we deal with the surface -- it’s been hard to switch them over to any better form of currency with the rest of the country still so stubbornly on caps. I don’t know how much I’ve got saved away, but it’s enough to make negotiations pretty simple.

Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla? Plenty of Sarsaparilla out west, I kinda grew up on that stuff. Never had much of a preference between them -- they’re both just flat syrup water these days anyway.

Do you do chems? Officially? Not anymore. Unofficially...well, it’s been a while. It’s going better. But like I told the doctors, I was an addict before I set foot in the cryopod. Getting the chems cleared out is only part of it. Haven’t touched Psycho in a while. Hopefully it stays that way.

Do you ever think about the Pre-War world? Not much, honestly. I miss Audrey, and it’s easy to see the impact of everything back then, but...I found my son. He had his own life. Now I’ve got my own. Doesn’t do much good looking back.

What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently? I didn’t really...I wish the Railroad would’ve given up. Brotherhood, they were soldiers and fighters, and they at least stood a chance, but...the church was just a slaughter. I’m not proud of it.

What’s your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve? I’d like to think the Commonwealth is doing better than before. Brotherhood hasn’t tried to come back, the raider attacks are getting fewer, and with the technology the Institute is finally actually sharing, people aren’t scraping by to survive quite as much. There are still biases and old grudges, but I like to think we’re working past those. And the SRB has taken a direction I’m pleased with. Not that there was any bias influencing that, of course.

What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world? I want to have more chances to take a breath. It’s better now than it was, by a long shot, but things are still...hectic. Get better, more open communication with the Minutemen, start to ease some of that mistrust, and show people that even the big boogeyman of the Commonwealth can change. It’s not like we’re going anywhere, and I’d like to think we can keep learning from each other.

[thepilotanon]

silver whistle.

My first attempt at writing an actual reader insert with Kylo Ren! Thought it would be suitable to try it in honor of May 4th, so I hope you will enjoy. It’s super short and probably very off for Kylo’s personality, but I like to think of him being a bit “careful” with his loved one. Please let me know what you think!

Warnings: None. Just post TLJ and TFA plot!

It was rare for Kylo Ren to admit that he makes mistakes.

When he was a boy, he admitted that it was wrong of him to steal sweets before eating dinner, when he was caught by his mother; he knew he made a mistake in ‘borrowing’ his father’s ship once or twice (maybe more), or taking of C-3PO’s head to carry around instead of waiting for the slow droid to follow in a hurry. Most things he admitted to doing wrong were when he was a child. A silly, innocent and curious kid who wanted to have fun.

But, Kylo Ren is an adult, a Supreme Leader. He had no time to admit to his own mistakes, if he ever claim to have made any…

However, as a porg scurried past him and an officer chasing after in, Kylo mentally scolded himself for making a mistake of landing on Ahch-To to investigate Luke Skywalker’s hideaway after the battle on Crait.

He didn’t know how this happened, knowing his ships were better equipped with keeping unwanted pests out from spreading onto the Finalizer, but it did. When he ordered a squad to go land on Ahch-To to retrieve anything useful after the death of Skywalker, Kylo thought of nothing else but getting information or tools to get back at the Resistance from another defeat. As his “promotion” to Supreme Leader, nobody would dare to question his orders, like they mentally would when he was a Commander. He didn’t need to worry about being blamed for anything so corny as an alien creature running around...until they saw more and more popping out in random places.

The critters were all noted to be male, as confirmed by one of the First Order’s scientists who studied fauna on many planets they visit for archival reasons, and are considered to still be young. They didn’t need to worry about a hidden nest, which was a very good sign. From what Kylo was told from their mere glances of observation, they were a small pack of siblings that must have wandered into one of the small cargo ships during their investigation. However, even though there was notes on what they were and how they got here, no one had any idea how many there truly are aboard the main ship. No one has even managed to catch one of the animals, much to Kylo’s annoyance, but still impact on their daily duties by their presence.

One startled Hux the other day, as Kylo boredly watched one waddle between the man’s legs at the observation desk, and squawked at him, causing the redhead to jump. Kylo overheard how two porgs were chased out of the mess hall and another spotted in the showers by his own Knights. Of course, neither himself or his own Knights of Ren will deal with the animal infestation, but that certainly didn’t mean that he wasn’t annoyed. In fact, Kylo was very irritated that the problem hasn’t been dealt with yet.

Kylo could have killed the porgs easily as he would come across them, but he found that it would be a waste of time and energy to do so. He could have gotten a professional exterminator from an allied planet, but why waste money or risk his work being stolen by an unknown face? No, the Supreme Leader basically made it the General, officer’s and staff’s job to handle it and leave him be.

But still...not even professional military staff can handle a mere, little, pudgy creature.

Approaching the hallway that lead to his quarters, Kylo didn’t bother to spare a glance to anyone as his body language practically showed that he was done for the day. Not even the throne room was safe from the porgs, and Kylo couldn’t find himself to focus well enough to continue on with another annoying chirp and pattering of feet on the tiled floor. He figured that, if he was going to be annoyed and cranky, he might as well do it in the comfort of his own room with his wife present.

Yes, Kylo Ren has a wife, going on their fourth year of being married and he was more than happy being tied down to a perfect being to call his own. Their marriage was secret while Snoke was still alive and in control, as Kylo used his old Master’s practice to hide their relationship deep within himself, same for his (nonexistent) soft spot for his mother until his death. After taking the throne, Kylo brought to light of his marital status to the First Order and threatened anyone who would ever try and harm his wife.

Kylo’s beloved wife was his anchor, in a way, through the thick and thin of the stress and bad temper tantrums in random control rooms. With each defeat of fighting against Rey and the Resistance, Kylo would have most likely destroyed the whole ship of the Finalizer, his wife was there to calm him down. She was practically the only one who could understand his frustration, seeing him as the same strong, dedicated man that he set himself out to be. To Kylo, Y/N was perfect and made his life so much better - even as Supreme Leader.

Y/N is a newly promoted Commander and trainer to the Knights of Ren, where she and Kylo first met when she was hired years back. As a combat and weaponry master of her planet and very well-known in the galaxy of her tactics, Snoke had hired her solely for the purpose of helping the Knights maintain a strong alert and fighting techniques. But, despite Y/N’s rather impressive, dangerous resume of her hobbies, she was actually quite opposite in personality, and the fact that she and Kylo were together as they are often surprises people into disbelief.

Y/N was the definition of a ball of sunshine, and the sweetest woman anyone could ever meet in the First Order. Every time she walks into the room filled with silent employees, she always announces her presence with a bright smile and wishing everyone a good work day and complimenting their hard work. She never feared to run up to someone and strike a conversation or even talk back at Hux whenever he tried to scold her. There were even times, when Kylo would have been gone, after the reveal, that Y/N would hurry to him and practically jump to hug him and welcome him home in front of everybody (even though she knew that her husband wouldn’t return the favor until after they return to their quarters). As dangerous she was and no doubt in having a body count as high as her husband, she had to be the happiest being on the ship.

Opposites attract, and it seemed that Kylo and Y/N balance each other out perfectly.

As Kylo punched the number to his quarters, having the door hiss open for him to enter, he waited casually for the usual greeting his wife would give him and his kiss. Stepping through and hearing the door close behind him, the Supreme Leader waited another moment before finally looking around their living space.

Orderly clean and tidy as he left it, Kylo could sense his wife’s presence inside. “Y/N,” he called out, finally hearing her bare feet approach from the refresher.

Dressed in her uniform pants and a dark tank, Y/N only looked to Kylo for a half a second before looking around the living room, as if looking for something. Her expression twisting into confusion as she went to the couch and got down to her knees to look underneath it. Kylo frowned a bit deeper watching her. It was like she had misplaced something after leaving the room for a moment…

“Y/N, love...” Kylo raised his brow when she finally sat up, her lips in a pout. “Is there something wrong?”

“Mmm, no,” Y/N pouted deeper and put her hands on her hips. “Everything was fine a minute ago. I don’t know what happened.”

“What was fine a minute ago?” Kylo asked her, coming closer and offering a hand for her to take.

As she did so, getting to her feet, Y/N looked around their quarters more. “I had them all here and they were behaving so well, now they’re gone.”’

Kylo decided not to waste his voice with questions, knowing she was too focused on her personal conflict. In all honesty, Kylo wanted his wife’s love to erase the stress of his day. When she finally looked to him to see his expression, Y/N instantly snapped out of it. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Kylo,” she laughed in slight embarrassment. Going on her toes, she pressed a quick kiss to his lips and another to his cheek. “Welcome home, husband. I missed you!” She fell back to the balls of her feet and gave him a bright grin.

“Thank you,” he responded with a single nod, seeing her turn her neck again to look around. Damn it, he wanted her attention. “Sweetie…”

“Kylo, would you mind holding still for a moment for me, please?” Y/N asked sweetly, resting her hand on his chest.

“Um...of course,” Kylo muttered, still confused.

When Y/N smiled to him, he suddenly didn’t mind what was going on. His wife had some kind of power to her that the little things she does, such as smiling at him, he was willing to do anything she were to ask of him. Watching her reach for the chain resting against her neck, Kylo noticed that she had yet to take off the silver whistle she used while training the Knights - one of the first gifts Kylo had given her.

He got her the whistle so she didn’t have to yell so often or to get their attention quicker within the large training facility they have. Kylo also may have gotten the whistle for her to use against Hux when he annoys her (for Kylo’s amusement), or to let him know she needs him - as he can sense the piercing noise through the Force just as easily. As it being the first gift Kylo gave Y/N, as simple and...plain as it was, Y/N treasured it and wore it proudly outside of their quarters before the reveal of their marriage. Before, when they were married in secret, Y/N couldn’t wear the ring Kylo had made himself for their union, but nobody would have questioned her whistle. In a way, too, it made Kylo inwardly proud that Y/N wore something around her neck that he had given her - an invisible proof that she belonged to him.

Putting the silver whistle to her lips, Y/N blew soft, short patterned noises. It didn’t echo or pierce Kylo’s ears, if she were to use it full force, but imitated a made-up song.

Sudden noises rose, making Kylo look up to the ceiling and then around the quarters as pattering sounds erupted and feathered bodies came to view. From between the couch cushions, the bookshelf and the ceiling vents, porgs fluttered into a crowd around Kylo and Y/N’s feet as they made noises at his wife. Once Y/N finished with her whistling tune, she began counting the number of porgs while Kylo’s eyes widened. His mind rattled with the combined noise of the creatures and having them jump over his feet to get attention from Y/N, flapping their tiny wings obnoxiously as she gathered her count.

“Okay, they’re all here!” she said with a smile. “They must have gotten frightened by the door when you came in.”

“Y/N…”

When his lovely wife looked to him with her usual smile, seeming unfazed by the screaming porgs at her feet, Kylo had to take a breath to maintain his sanity. “Why...are these things in our quarters?”

“I think they might have followed me from the training room after I played with them,” Y/N shrugged casually. “I thought they would have taken off by the time I stopped using my whistle, but I guess not. I came home and they just poured out of the vents.”

“Sweetie, you know we’ve had an infestation problem,” Kylo told her in a low voice. He wasn’t mad at her, just irritated by the noise of the creatures. When she only gave him a confused gaze, he sighed and pushed his dark hair out of his eyes. “I told you about the infestation problem, haven’t I?”

Y/N nodded. “Yes, you did. I didn’t know it was these little things!” she confessed as she gestured to the small crowd. A couple of them kept watching her intently, while the others began bouncing around the quarters to explore. They didn’t wander too far from the two, as if knowing Y/N may still need them. “I thought they were part of the new program Hux mentioned some time ago. About considering taming certain animals? They’re very well trained and seem to respond to my whistle very well. See?”

Taking her whistle again, Y/N made three short tweets and every Porg in the room turned her way and responded with three short squeaks. When she made a long, smooth whistle, they all formed into a small group and seem to wait patiently for the next order. They were quiet and watching her intently, almost like stormtroopers. Y/N dropped her whistle back to her chest and shrugged to Kylo with an innocent smile, all while her husband was left with wide eyes and tense jaw.

“I honestly didn’t think they were part of the infestation report. Hux made it sound like some insect being, not avian. I don’t even know what they are, Kylo!”

Kylo then remembered that his wife didn’t know much of other worlds, much less about animals. It would make sense that Y/N didn’t instantly register that the porgs were nowhere part of the First Order business, much less see them as anything but pests. Her reputation around the galaxy was known as a genius with weapons, a mastermind of fighting anything that comes her way… But, before Snoke brought her to work with the First Order, Y/N had never left the planet of her birth. People around the galaxy always went to her, so anything outside her world was brand new to her and unknown. Kylo often finds holographics and traditional scrolls and books with images to at least try to teach her what else is out here in the galaxy.

“They’re called porgs, love,” Kylo muttered, keeping his eyes on the small group of critters looking between him and his wife. “They’re from the Ahch-To planet…”

“The planet that Skywalker man was hiding on?” she asked curiously and Kylo nodded slowly. Holding a hand to her lips in surprise, Y/N glanced between him and the animals. “Oh, ohhh dear. Kylo, I didn’t know, I’m sorry! And you’ve been telling me about how annoyed you’ve been with the infestation problem!”

“Mmm...are these all of them?” Kylo asked her, remembering the couple he saw earlier today. He knew his wife was spending a good portion of her day training his Knights until coming home, so he put together that the porgs may have memorized her schedule in when she was with the Knights. He knew his personal squad would have said something if they knew that the Supreme Leader’s wife was playing with the porgs, otherwise how else would she have been seeing them? Perhaps these porgs weren’t as stupid as he originally thought.

“Uh-huh. There’s always twelve of them whenever I call them with my whistle,” she answered truthfully. After a moment of silence, Y/N frowned and began fiddling with her thumbs. “You’re not going to have them killed, are you?”

Kylo sighed. He knew his wife wasn’t too keen on killing “innocent” people, unless they have done something drastic that could have risked the lives in the First Order; much less with animals, knowing how she always found interest in seeing them whenever she joined her husband on planets. As deadly as she was, she had that bit of compassion that Kylo lacked. Wrapping his arm around her and pulling her close, Kylo eyed the still-quiet porgs with a rather judgmental glare.

“No, I won’t,” he told her honestly. He didn’t want her to be sad over something she truly didn’t understand - she was his wife, after all, and had a special spot to him. “We will have to take them back to Ahch-To, though. They can’t stay here on the Finalizer.”

Y/N nodded. “I understand. What do I have to do to help?” she asked next, and Kylo mentally smirked at her readiness to fix the problem with him.

“Well, for one, they seem to listen to you the best.” Kylo pressed a soft kiss to her head, his gloved hand rubbing up and down her arm in a loving gesture. “Believe me, love, I’ve been watching officers chase after them for the past week…”

Kylo stood next to Hux and his Knights as Y/N called the herd of porgs out of the cargo ship with her whistle, all twelves of them scurrying down the ramp before squawking in delight at the familiar environment of Ahch-To. Y/N eventually had them all huddled around her and she counted them all before dropping the whistle to her uniformed chest. Kylo made her wear a proper coat to avoid the chilly breeze of the colder season, not wanting to risk her getting sick as she stood a few feet from the group. The porgs eventually got used to Kylo’s presence, but not to everyone else that Y/N didn’t spend personal time with... Kylo will admit that he liked that the porgs screamed at Hux as soon as they saw him, knowing that his wife didn’t particularly like him.

Y/N clapped her hands at the porgs, who fluttered their short wings before running off into the brush and more porg noises rose in the distance. She had a rather happy grin on her face as she watched a couple of them turn around to give her what was assumed a “good-bye” call before disappearing into the greenery, and she waved before turning back and making her way to Kylo’s usual stoic stance and the rest of the team.

He held a hand out to her, which she gladly accepted, and placed a kiss to her knuckles before speaking. “Good work, my love,” he praised in a low voice, making her smile proudly. “Let the Knights escort you aboard. I’ll be there shortly.”

“Okay,” Y/N responded as the Knights straightened and gestured for her to follow the two closest to the ship while the other four followed behind. Kylo watched her intently as she went up the ramp with a professional strut, refusing to look at Hux when he made a sort of scoff.

“Can’t believe the rodents respond to her bloody whistle like that,” Hux grouched. “It was practically watching a child’s attempt at a circus act.”

“Yet the pest problem has been dealt with smoothly than expected, on account how none of your subordinates were even able to catch just one porg,” Kylo explained to him with a narrowed glare, and the redhead took a deep breath. “Perhaps, instead of speaking so lowly of my wife in helping with something so simple, you should thank her.”

Hux snorted once, his mind quietly criticizing Y/N’s openness and how she would probably tease him for being so polite over the silly situation.

Walking past Hux and towards the ship, Kylo kept his hands behind him. “Or, perhaps, I should promote my wife to General because you ‘accidentally’ slipped over the cliff…”

Kylo didn’t feel the need to hide his smirk at hearing Hux gasp and practically dart past him to enter the ship before he could do anything.

Sooo, I tried a reader insert and this is how it turned out - I’m not too sure if I like not having a {name} properly inserted for writing, but I will accept any advice nonetheless. I may just name the {reader} but leave the physical description open, unless I were to create an actual OC.

I hope you at least enjoyed it! Thank you for reading.

[the-record-newspaper]

My first love and the truest of all true love stories

                                          Carmel Schmidt Toliver

By JERRY LANKFORD

Record Editor

Sweet Home Alabama was playing in my head in the summer of 1982, as I left Birmingham, Ala., in the window seat of a Greyhound bus on my journey back to North Carolina.

I was 18 and was a troubled young man. I was leaving my sweetheart and first love, Carmel (pronounced Kar male), behind. We had been nearly inseparable since we began our relationship the previous summer in Upward Bound – a college prep club in which we spent six weeks each summer on the campus of Appalachian State University.

Carmel was the prettiest girl I’d ever seen. We were partnered in a canoe during a week-long trip on Lake Watauga in Tennessee and really hit it off. We started dating and quickly fell in love. Our first kiss was on a rooftop in lower Manhattan on a field trip with that club. We were looking across the river into New Jersey and were happy.

A year later I’d wound up in Alabama.

I had ridden to Atlanta with my late brother, Mike, who went there to finalize a divorce. The Lankford brothers slept that night in Mike’s old sky-blue Ford Maverick in the parking lot of an apartment complex in the rough side of town with pistols under our legs. Mike drove me to the train station at daylight, walked me in so I could buy my ticket to Birmingham and waited until I was safely on the train. I still remember his smile as he waved goodbye.

Carmel had been living in Boone with her father and stepmother, Sigurd and Leah Schmidt. She had left by train from Greensboro in the middle of the night to go visit members of her late mother, Eva Slaughter’s, family. My buddy, Mark Brooks, and his girlfriend drove us to the train station because I’d blown up my Chevrolet Vega, and after several wrong turns, we finally found the depot. I walked with Carmel as far as I could before she boarded an Alabama-bound train.

We were happily in love — as much as we could possibly be. It was the kind of love that glows red in your belly and typically consumes all rational thought. It made me sick to see her go.

After a couple weeks, and hours of long-distance telephone conversations, Carmel convinced me I should come to Alabama and that I might want to stay. I knew that would be a hard sell – trying to convince me to move there -  but I wanted to see her badly.

It just so happened that at that same time Mike needed to make his trip to Georgia. He said if I was really serious about running to Carmel, I could save train fare money if I left from Atlanta instead of Greensboro.

If you’ve ever ridden on a train, you likely noticed that they mostly travel through the more industrialized sides of towns, leaving the scenery a little less than pristine. Along my way there was some lush greenness to savor, although there remained an unpleasantness due to very frequent stops, the unceasing bumpy-bump rhythm of the tracks, and the obnoxious porter who flirted continuously with an unwilling lady passenger.

Finally in Birmingham, Carmel met me at the station. One of her family members (I can’t recall which one) drove us to her Grandmother Lorene Slaughter’s home on the outskirts of the city. It was hot and mosquitoes were fearsome.

          Lorene Slaughter

Mrs. Slaughter’s home was an oasis – with a “Welcome Home” feel and filled with love from room to room, and from corner to corner. As for Mrs. Slaughter, she was a pure pleasure to know. She had sparkling eyes and a great head of beautiful white hair. Her food was incredible – especially her homemade pimento cheese that rivaled my Granny Lankford’s. And her soul was huge – speaking in a Deep South dialect I’d only heard in movies.

She took me into her home as part of the family.

Carmel and I each had our own separate bedroom and very generous amounts of cool air blasting from the vents.

There was a little store around the corner where Carmel and I would walk. I'd buy her M&M's and we’d play the big quarter-fed Space Invaders video game machine. There was also a nearby park with a large pond where we would go exploring in the waning hours of those lazy afternoons.

Finally it came time for me to leave. I was missing home and by that time - much to her family’s chagrin – Carmel had agreed to return to North Carolina a couple of weeks later.

We had learned from the Schmidts that some of their friends – Joe and Cindy Pacileo – at that time, were in Gadsden, Ala. That’s about an hour or so by bus from Birmingham. The Pacileos were there visiting Joe’s relatives. They’d offered me a ride in their van from there as far as Boone. My momma, Willa Mae Lankford, said she’d pick me up there. And thus my return home was arranged.

Again, I was parting from my love. I watched her wave goodbye to me until the bus turned the corner and I could no longer see her.

I was heartbroken when the Pacileos retrieved me from the bus station in Gadsden. They are wonderful people. I remember Joe as being a collector of many great paperback Westerns and a great cook who puts raisins in his meatballs. Cindy - whose sweet smile would warm the coldest of hearts - is a well known artist, having created many forests of little sculptured critters over the years. My sister, Ellen, still has one of her tiny frogs.

As we started out for the Blue Ridge Mountains, I remember Cindy handing me their copy of Jonathan Livingston Seagull to read on the way back. It was as if she knew exactly what I needed. I didn’t just read it, I devoured it. I never realized how much that little book would come to mean to me.

It wasn’t long before Carmel returned to Wilkes. We were married in August of that year in Momma’s living room in her home in Millers Creek with a few close relatives and friends there as witnesses. A year later, our first daughter, Jennifer, was born – on Aug. 22, 1983. Anna came on Dec. 22, 1988.

Carmel and I divorced, found other loves and married them. But as years passed, we again became good friends.

My Momma and Carmel truly loved each other. She and my sister, Ellen, also maintained a strong bond. I always loved Carmel, too, somewhere deep down inside — if nothing else but for the fact that she was the mother of two of my three wonderful daughters — the third being Gabriella, who is now 16. Carmel had four more daughters, Diana Pless, and Destiny, Cassidy, Samantha and, stepdaughter, Leslie Toliver.

Carmel’s girls: back, left to right, Leslie, Jennifer, Destiny, middle row: Samantha, Cassidy and Anna. My daughter Gabriella is in front. This photo was taken in 2012. Inset is a photo of Carmel’s daughter, Diana.

Carmel was born on Oct. 9, 1963. She died of pancreatic cancer on Sept. 6, 2014. Hospice had brought her home to Wilkes from Forsyth Hospital in Winston-Salem on a Friday afternoon to spend her final hours with her family. She was surrounded by daughters along with our little grandsons, Sammie and Charlie. Throughout the night, her husband, Ken Toliver – who has become one of my dearest friends – held her hand until she took her last breath the next morning.

That is certainly the truest of true love stories.

Carmel and her husband, Ken Toliver  

Before Carmel died, she told her husband, Ken, that she wanted to be buried near my mother in the cemetery of Arbor Grove United Methodist Church in Purlear. He made sure that she was.

I know it sounds strange – or maybe I’d just never noticed a particular occurrence around here in September — but right after Carmel died, I saw dragonflies nearly everywhere I went. This past September (when I wrote the first draft of this column) I saw the reflection of one hovering in the glass of the front doors of The Record offices as I came into work. I thought it was going to follow me inside.

It is likely that dragonfly that brought Carmel and that period of time of our teenage years back to mind — the memories of my first love, that journey, and a little book entitled Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

I guess at that stage of our youths we are all trying to learn about life and flight.

Carmel, thank you for the two daughters you gave me and the entire beautiful family you helped create. May you always be carried on dragonfly wings.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Bonding time with the former ice-picker; Kristoff x child reader feat. Anna

Hey guys been awhile hadn’t it? Well this request comes from an anon who really wanted a Disney Frozen’s request. Now on my Wattpad I’ve done about 2-3 Frozen fics all from the same user but theyve all been about Elsa so doing Anna and Kristoff was a first for me so I tried to make it as fluffy as possible and there are some minor changes to what you had asked for anon or I didn’t include much on the personality but I tried my best and if it sucks I apologize in advance and you can hate me for it over private message or whatever. I’m still trying to get back into my groove of writing since I’ve been slacking off but I promise the three other requests that people have sent me will be written soon (I hope, I’m already kinda half way through the anon’s request who wanted the Charmings x child reader) anyways enough about me, hope you all enjoy this :)

________________________________________________________

‘I never really knew what happened to my parents, all I do remember is stumbling into the castle before they closed their gates and that’s when I met the youngest princess of Arendelle, Princess Anna.  She took me in and basically raised me inside the castle.  For year it was just the two of us having fun, she told me all about her older sister Elsa of how she isolated herself in her room for many years while growing up.

I was there when Queen Elsa had her big freak out with her powers and the kingdom basically turned on her.  I was there when Anna went to find her sister to bring her back and I was there when she met the ice-maker known as Kristoff.  Now fast forward to a year later, Elsa is now seen as Arendelle’s Queen and the kingdom has accepted her powers. And ever since the journey to save Aunt Elsa, Anna and Kristoff have been getting quite close with each other. 

Lately Kristoff has been trying to find the time to bond with me.  Now I have nothing against him, he’s a really nice guy and I love his reindeer Sven, at least he’s a much better guy than that Hans jerk, but I…..I guess I’m just too shy to give him the time of day. And there might be a slight fear that there might be a chance that he could hurt Anna just like Hans did.

*3rd Person POV*

Kristoff was currently in the stables feeding Sven his lunch when Anna came in and she said.

“Hey Kristoff”.

“Oh hey Anna, what’s going on?”

“Well sweetie, Elsa and I have to go on a diplomatic trip, or some kind I don’t really know I kinda spaced out on what Elsa was saying but…..I was wondering if you could watch over (y/n) until we get back?”

“Anna you do realize that everytime I enter a room, she always runs away or hides right?”

“I know, I know but that’s just because she’s so shy. Maybe by being here with her by yourself it may help her open up her shell”.

“Or just traumatize her even more”. He said.

“Oh I don’t think that’ll happen, please Kristoff,” Anna stepped towards him and took his hand in both of her and continued as she looked into his eyes, “You and (y/n) mean the world to me, and it breaks my heart knowing that you both aren’t getting along. Please do this for me”. Kristoff smiled softly and said.

“Alright, I promise to watch over her while you’re both gone”. Anna squealing happily and wrapped her arms around her fiancée tightly and thanked him over a hundred times before telling Kristoff about the details of hers and Elsa’s trip and about how long they could be gone. 

A few days later, Anna and Elsa were at the docks saying their last goodbyes for now.  Anna was kneeling in front of (y/n) and she said.

“Do you really have to go?”

“You’ll be fine (y/n), it’ll only be for a few days. Kristoff promises he’s gonna take good care of you. And can you do something for me?” She nodded then Anna continued, “Can you please try to make an effort to bond with Kristoff? I promise he won’t hurt you”.

“I’ll try” she stated softly.

“Thank you (y/n)”. Anna stroked a strand of (y/n)’s hair out of her face before giving her a kiss to her forehead and boarding the ship right behind Elsa and once the Queen and Princess the boat began to depart the dock and both Kristoff and (y/n) waved goodbye to Anna and Elsa.  Once the boat was out of reach, Kristoff and (y/n) just looked at each other. 

Back at the palace, (y/n) was currently sitting around in her room playing with some of Anna’s old dolls that she’s kept when the door opened revealing Olaf.

“Hey Olaf” said (y/n).

“Hello (y/n), whatcha doin here all by yourself?”

“Oh just playing dolls maybe I might have a tea party later”.

“Ohhh I love tea parties! Can I join in please, please, please, please, please?” Olaf stated enthusiastically. I giggled and said.

“Of course you can Olaf, it wouldn’t be a party without you” he let out a happy cheer before sitting himself down at my tea party table and I got everything set up. As we proceeded with our tea party I asked Olaf as I held the tea pot. “More tea Sir Olaf?”

“Why I would be delighted to have some more” he stated as he held out his tea cup and I poured the tea into his cup and he took a sip. “Hey why don’t we ask Kristoff if he’d like to join in our tea party?” I tensed up and said.

“He’s probably busy right now”.

“No he’s not. Last I saw him he was playing his guitar in the stable singing with Sven, though I really wouldn’t call it singing, he’s really not that good at singing”.

“But I don’t think he’d be interested in tea parties, boys never are”.

“I do though, and I’m sure if you asked Kristoff he’d like to join in to I’ll go ask him!”

“Wait, wait no, no, no Olaf you—” but it was too late, the little snowman already left to get the future Prince of Arendelle leaving (y/n) in her anxiety. 

As Olaf approached the stables he heard inside Kristoff playing on his guitar looking around as if he were in his own little world with Sven lying down on his stomach taking a little nap when Olaf proclaimed out.

“Hi Kristoff!” A string broke off his guitar and Sven bellowed out fearfully until he saw it was Olaf.  Kristoff softly growled down at his guitar and turned towards the snowman and said.

“What is it Olaf?”

“I came to ask you on behalf of Princess (y/n) if you’d like to join us for a tea party” Kristoff looked to Sven confused before turning back to Olaf and asked him.

“She said that?” Olaf nodded happily. He then turned to his reindeer and stated in Sven’s voice, “‘Maybe she’s finally wanting to open up to you’ I almost doubt that. Everytime I try to get close to her, she always runs away”.

“Come on Kristoff, it’ll be fun!” Olaf proclaimed happily.

“‘Yeah come on, just give it a chance’”. Kristoff sighed heavily and said to Sven. “Sometimes I don’t like you”. Sven jumped for joy and nudged Kristoff up onto his feet and pushed him forward bellowing out happily as his friend followed behind the snowman. 

“You’re gonna love it Kristoff there’s tea and cakes and a wonderful decorations every—” When the two of them got to (y/n)’s room they took notice that the young girl was gone.

“Uhh Olaf, where is she exactly?”

“She was here a minute ago when I left”.

“Oh god this is bad, this is really, really, really bad. If I don’t find her Anna’s gonna kill me. Split up! Leave no stone or fabric unturned” Kristoff then raced around the palace calling out for (y/n). 

For over an hour and a half the entire palace was searching for the child that their Princess had adopted but no one could find her anywhere.  As Kristoff came to the garden, he then took notice of something hiding up in one of the trees.  It almost looked like a small critter but when he got a close enough look, he realized that it wasn’t a critter at all, it was (y/n).

“(Y/n)!” She jumped slightly and looked down to see Kristoff. “Oh my god….do you know how worried sick I was!? The entire palace has been looking for you for hours and you’ve been here this whole time!” As he spoke to her, his voice raised with anger but it wasn’t until he finally took notice that she was starting to cry.

Kristoff looked up at her and took a deep breath and exhaled softly and said as he looked up at her.

“Hey (y/n) look I’m…..I’m sorry I yelled at you. It’s just you had me so worried, I thought something bad had happened to you and I—I would never have forgiven myself if anything bad had happened to you”.

“It’s not that Kristoff” he heard her whimper.  He looked up at her confused and said.“It’s not?” She shook her head no. 

“Then what is it?”

“I can’t climb back down, I’m too scared”. Kristoff looked at her and then said.

“Oh okay, just hold on tight I’m coming up”. He then jumped up and grabbed the first branch and hauled himself up onto it.  Once he was on the branch he steadied himself and got up to the branch that (y/n) was now on and he told her, “Now just give me your hand”.

“I can’t…..I’m too scared”.

“Hey, hey it’s okay. I promise you (y/n) I’m not gonna let you fall, okay? Do you trust me?” She looked at him for a brief moment before nodding.  “Okay now slowly scoot towards me and take my hand, keep your eyes on me, you think you can do that?” She nodded and did as Kristoff told her to do.

Once they joined hands, Kristoff gently pulled her towards him and got her on his back.  He made sure her arms were wrapped around his neck and that he had a grip under her legs before kneeling down and jumping off the branch and soon the two of them were on level ground.  He helped her to solid ground and knelt down in front of her and asked.

“You okay?” She nodded and then she said.

“Thank you”.

“You’re welcome, now do you want to tell me just what were you doing up on that tree?”

“I was hiding because I was scared”.

“Of me” Kristoff asked in more of a statement rather than a question.

“Not completely” she said. Kristoff looked at her confused and she tried to explain, “I’m not fully scared of you Kristoff, I see how happy you make Anna and I know that you’re a good person it’s just…..after what happened with Hans I—” Kristoff placed a hand on her shoulder and he said.

“I get it. Hans did end up being a very, very bad man, but you must know that not all of us are like him. I really do care for Anna as you just said, but I also wish to get to know the one other person that meant more to Anna than her sister, you”. (Y/n) looked up at him and did something that Kristoff never thought she would do. 

She hugged him. 

He was shocked at first but he soon relaxed and hugged her back. 

The next day, (y/n) started fully warming up to Kristoff.  Slowly but surely the two of them were as thick as thieves.  And they did eventually have that tea party when Kristoff took her, Olaf and Sven to a beautiful spot in the woods where he had prepared in advance a picnic with a beautiful tea set at their disposal.

After having their tea party as Sven and Olaf were playing with each other, (y/n) and Kristoff sat side by side each other and (y/n) said.

“Thank you for the tea party Kristoff, it was wonderful”.

“No, thank you for inviting me to your tea party. It was my honor and privilege to join the Princess in her world famous tea parties” Kristoff said as he removed his hat and bowed before her making her giggle. He placed his hat back on his head and said, “And thank you for giving me a chance sweetheart”. (Y/n) smiled then she curled up into Kristoff’s lap and let out a soft yawn and Kristoff smiled and stroked through her hair and began to sing her a soft lullaby sending the young Princess off to dreamland.

[jedimordsith]

Ian (aka more scraps from my fic closet)

[AU in which post -TTT Mara discovers she has a son. By Vader. Alternative beginning to the same fic I posted part of here.]

She died. The karking doctor had up and died in the short time it had taken them to get from Coruscant to Stewjon. Dammit. There would be no asking of questions, now. No chance to get additional details, or to gently transition her son into her custody. But nothing had ever come easily, and Mara saw no reason to really start expecting it to now. Hells, with a half-Skywalker in tow, things were going to get harder, most likely.

As soon as they landed, she contacted the Togrutan lawyer. He was eager to get the entire messy business off his hands and invited them directly to his offices. The trip into the heart of the city, such as it was, felt excruciatingly slow. As they approached the building, however, Mara's breath caught.

“Corran…”

“Yeah, I feel him too.”

“Oh, Force.” Her son glimmered, even at a distance. What the hell have I gotten myself into?

They dropped the speeder off in the lot and trooped inside. In the turbo-lift, Mara straightened her clothing and ordered herself into her most regal posture. Just before the doors opened, she tilted her chin up.

A polite, slightly harried looking Twi'lek met them and ushered them inside. Master Co'dune would be with them momentarily about the paperwork, she assured, but they could have the boy now if they were ready. Mara nodded and followed, the others waiting where they were as the woman tapped gently on a side door, then opened it and waved Mara in.

Deciding that was all the introduction she was going to get, Mara took a deep breath and stepped inside. The room was obviously a small conference room, the sort typically used for the reading of wills and other such small gatherings. Two cushy chairs had been pushed together to make a sort of lounging space, and a small boy slumped dejectedly in one of them, partially covered by a threadbare blanket.

He was hers.

One look, one soft brush in the Force, and she knew it to the core of her being. Mara's heart contorted in ways she hadn't known were possible.

He looked like Luke. A small, sleepy version of Luke with tousled blond hair and mussed, worn clothes and an impossibly bright Force signature for someone so small. When the door softly clicked shut behind her, he looked up, blinked at her with eyes the color of Chandrilian sea glass.

“You're very bright.” The observation was distinctly surprised and pleased, and not at all what Mara had expected.

“So are you,” she answered after a moment. “Did they tell you who I am?”

The little blond head nodded solemnly. “My mama.”

The words were said with a statement of fact, but underneath them Mara caught a familiar sensation that made her heart clench. One she knew all too well – the turning over of a concept in the mind that one's heart had never experienced. She knew with painful intensity what it was to understand the idea of a mother, but have not the slightest practical exposure to it.

It unexpectedly hurt to see such a familiar sensation in him. Seeing him suffer, even in this small amount, was a physical ache in her chest. Fierfek.

“That's right,” she confirmed, intentionally radiating calm.

“Are you going to give me away?” he asked, his little face scrunching up in concern.

“What?” Mara frowned, forgetting for a moment just how fearsome her expression got when she did that.

Ian shrank into himself, but stuttered bravely, “Nanna and Misser Co'dune said you might not want me.”

For a moment, Mara flashed back to the dark, imposing halls of the Imperial Palace, remembering vividly the stress of being a small child aware that she could be banished – or worse – at any moment, for the smallest failure or infraction.

Enough. It was time to take control and get some critical groundwork squared away. Crossing the distance between them, Mara crouched down as she had so often watched Skywalker do when interacting with the Solo kids or the smallest younglings at the Academy. Reaching for him, she settled strong hands settled firmly on his sturdy little torso and leaned forward to look him squarely in the eye.

“You are mine, Ian, and I am going to take you with me.” One hand came up to brush his cheek in a gesture she didn't recognize, but which seemed to happen of its own accord. “No one is ever going to take you away from me again.”

The boy tipped his head to the side, considering her with serious, hopeful eyes. “Promise?”

“Promise.” Carefully, she reached out with a solid, steady tendril of her own Force presence, offering it to him silently. 

His eyes unfocused slightly as he considered it, then instinctively and a bit clumsily reached out for it.

Then the boy's little Force presence caught and wrapped around hers like a baby's finger clutching at its mother's; both their private worlds instantly and irrevocably shifted on their axis. A new connection blossomed inside her, snug and permanent, beside the Luke-place in her heart and mind.

The child must have felt the same, because his face and Force presence lit up like a flare. Wonder exploded through him like a supernova and he threw chubby arms around her neck. For a second she tensed, taken completely by surprise. Then she wrapped her arms around him and scooped him up, cradled against her chest, his little blond head buried in her shoulder.

“Come on,” she told him. “Let's go meet the rest of your new family.”

- -

Corran's head snapped up when Mara stepped out of the small room with a child settled on her hip. Sweet Hoth he looks like Luke.

Beside him, Mirax fell reflexively into “mother mode”. “Oh, Mara, he's beautiful.”

Mara nodded, accepting the compliment with equanimity. “Ian, this is your Aunt Mirax, Uncle Corran, and Uncle Talon.”

The child blinked clear, blue-green eyes at them curiously. “Hullo.”

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Ian,” Talon Karrde held a large, elegant hand out to the boy.

Apparently unsure what to do, Ian gamely stuck his own hand out and let the Information Broker shake it, looking inexplicably pleased at the gesture.

“What's that?” he asked, catching sight of the fluffy object in the man's other hand.

“This is a vornskyr,” Karrde told him, offering the plush grey stuffed animal. “It's for you, if you'd like.”

Brightly, the boy reached for it with both hands and hugged it, reveling in its incredibly soft fur. “Look, Mama! A vonker!”

Mara did, amused. Where in Hoth's name Karrde had gotten a stuffed vornskyr, particularly on such short notice, was impossible to imagine. But he was Talon, and Mara had long since given up being surprised at what the man could promptly produce or procure if the desire struck.

“I see,” she peered at the critter seriously, and felt her son's approval at her attention. “I believe it's appropriate to say thank you when someone give you a gift.”

Corran felt a twinge watching Mara take her first tentative steps into the complex world of parenting. It was a scary thing, even for people who'd been raised in a loving, functional home. For someone with Jade's abysmal history, it had to be petrifying-ly unfamiliar ground. His already formidable resolve instantly doubled. She's not going to do it alone.

“Thank you, Uncle Talon,” Ian said, his brow furrowing as he considered both the new rule of “thank yous” and the startling reminder that he now had not only a mother, but something wonderful called an “uncle”.

Karrde smiled kindly. “You're very welcome, little Jade.” His gaze flicked to Mara. “His is keeping your last name, I assume?”

Mara nodded resolutely. “Yes.”

Experienced with reading small Force-strong children, Corran was first to catch the hints of hunger in the little boy's unconscious Force musings and spoke up.

“Ian, what's your favorite food?”

The boy looked up, surprise quickly giving way to serious contemplation. The intentness of his expression was adorable, and Mara couldn't help but gaze at her new-found son fondly. Kriff, he's going to turn me into a ball of mush.

“Fried tubers,” the boy announced. “With sauce. The blue kind.”

Mirax, by now well practiced at taking advantage of her husband's Force leadings, held out her arms. “What do you say we go find some fried tubers, then, while your mother and Uncle Talon deal with some flimsey-work?”

Ian clutched his vornskyr, a sudden spike of anxiety darting through him. Mara clearly caught the pang of fright and image of an empty room he unknowingly projected. It took her a few seconds to work out what it meant.

“Uncle Corran and Aunt Mirax will make sure you get safely back to me,” she reassured, shifting him so they were eye to eye again. “Remember my promise?”

“Never away again,” the child said seriously, nodding.

“Right,” Mara affirmed. “You're not going away, you're just getting some food.” On an impulse she couldn’t explain, she wrapped her hand around his and turned the vornskyr toward him. “After all, vornskyrs get very cranky if they don't eat regularly, and I can't have this one eating my flimsey-work or we'll never get out of here.”

Ian giggled. “Vonkers don't eat flimsy-work!”

Mara raised an eyebrow at him. “How do you know?”

That stumped him.

Corran laughed. “How about we look up vornskyrs on the holo-net while we eat our tubers?” he suggested.

That pleased the boy, and he consented to being transferred to Mirax's waiting arms. The three began an animated conversation about food and vornskyrs as they left the room.

“He attached to you quickly,” Karrde observed.

“I'm afraid that goes both ways,” Mara confessed, folding her arms across her chest, a touch of worry in her voice. Her eyes slid closed. “Kriff, Talon. The Force bond was instant.” Her hand came up, rubbing at her chest unconsciously. “He's right there, next to Luke, already. And he's so damn bright.”

“He's yours,” Karrde said with a shrug. “Did you really expect anything different?”

She shook her head. “He deserves better.” She made a helpless gesture. “No child that good should have to have me for a mother.”

Talon scowled at her. “I don't expect to hear nonsense like that out of your mouth ever again,” he chided sternly, making her look up, startled. Real displeasure colored his aura in the Force. “You're going to a fine mother.” His blue eyes bored into her, their intensity refocusing her and straightening her spine. “In fact, you're going to be exactly the kind of mother he needs – one strong enough to handle and protect him.”

He truly believes that, she thought, taken aback. The idea unexpectedly settled her. Karrde didn't have the Force, but he knew people. He knew her more than almost anyone, and she trusted his judgment.

“Right,” she said, pulling herself together. “Let's go get the flimsy-work over with then.” A faint smile quirked at the corners of her mouth. “And see if we can order a case of fried tubers for the Wild Karrde.”

[alanidreams]

a dream of slurp

–––––––––––––––––––––––

The fall breeze blew several dead leaves into my house as I closed the door behind me. I had been hopping from mystery island to mystery island all morning in hopes of finding a new friend to move onto my island. I had met many interesting and adorable candidates, but none of them seemed to be the right fit for our neighborhood. I had run out of airline tickets, so I stopped at home to get some more.

Flying from one island to another over and over was exhausting, and as I was about to walk back out the door and down to the airport, I hesitated. Maybe I could fit in a quick nap, restore my energy a little before starting the cycle again.

I flopped into bed, and, exhausted as I was, quickly fell asleep...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It seemed as though I had hardly closed my eyes when the bright sun beaming down on me forced me to blink them open again.

I must have laid down in this beach chair to read and then fallen asleep. I stood up and walked onto the promenade, trying to remember where I was.

The path began to curve away from the beach, and I thought I could see a garden in the distance.

As I approached, I stopped to read the sign: “Welcome the Butterfly Garden! We hope you’ll stay and Slurp a while.”

Just as I entered the bright and cheerful gardens, wondering what I was supposed to be slurping, a monkey approached me.

I paused, unsure what to say. For some reason I couldn’t recall why I was here, or how long I had been here. Just as I opened my mouth to stammer a response, the monkey cut me off-

She told me her name was Elise, and that if there was anything I needed during my trip, I could find her near the Visitor Services building. Ah, of course! I must be on vacation here on Slurp, I realized. I thanked Elise and continued on my way through the garden.

As I exited the garden, I stumbled into a little library. I wonder what kind of literature they read here on Slurp? I pondered as I headed for the bookshelf.

Reading through the titles, I started to notice a theme: The Little Monkey, Lord of the Fleas, A Tale of Two Bananas, and Planet of the Apes, among other simian-themed titles, filled the shelves. Just as I was reaching for Scratcher in the Rye, a voice startled me.

The fluorescent pink monkey introduced herself as Nana and showed me to where the painting class was being held. It seemed like I was the only pupil there who wasn’t a monkey... We got started painting our still life, and time flew by. As the class ended and students began to filter out slowly, I noticed the other paintings in the room. These monkeys are surprisingly talented....

As I got up to leave, I overheard one of the monkeys talking about a pool nearby. “I heard they were going to install a Slip and Slurp there soon,” one of them was saying. Oooh, a pool! I wasn’t sure where this pool was, but I hoped maybe I would see a sign for it along the path.

Eventually I spotted the pool, but I also spied something else exciting. “A yellow balloon!” I squealed with excitement. 

I felt sure no one would mind if I borrowed it for a bit. I grabbed it and ran down the steps to the pool. Sadly, I realized I didn’t have my swimsuit with me. I noticed a sandcastle-building competition on the beach, though, and decided to head over there instead.

As I was running, I tripped over a weed on the beach.

Oh no... my balloon... I tried to jump up and grab it, but it was too late.

As I was mourning the loss of my beautiful yellow balloon, a voice called out to me. Curious, I stepped towards the Sluba Shop.

I sniffled, and he continued,

He gestured to the bridge on the right. Wiping away the last of me tears, I smiled and thanked him. As I crossed the bridge, I couldn’t help but think that everyone here was so nice.

As I entered the outdoor gallery adjacent to the museum, I immediately forgot all about my balloon mishap.

The museum grounds were gorgeous as well, and I left feeling much happier than I had when I entered.

I took a shortcut just outside of the museum, wondering where it would lead me.

I could smell coffee and something sweet, perhaps pastries? I realized I was very hungry, and I followed my nose towards the scent.

The delicious aromas were coming from the Sip or Slurp! As I was entering, a monkey was leaving with his iced coffee. Right as we were about to pass one another, he tripped, spilling his coffee all over my shoes.

I giggled at his enthusiasm and accepted his offer. He introduced himself as Deli, and he advised me to get a banana fritter and an iced banana mochaccino... Apparently that was the Sip or Slurp special of the day. We had coffee together, and then we went our separate ways. As I walked along the beach, I started to feel a little odd. Perhaps the banana fritter and banana coffee was a little too much banana for me, I worried.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I saw signs leading to the shopping district. Maybe I could find some cool souvenirs!

I cut through the courtyard and headed straight for the shops.

I ended up getting a keychain, some cute stickers, and a t-shirt to let everyone know that “I Slurped”.

I was quite shopped-out by that point, so I decided to take a rest in the park across from the clothing shop.

Just as I was about to pick up an abandoned ukulele to play, I heard a shrill scream from across the island. I jumped to my feet and raced toward the sound. Someone might be in trouble!

Wait, was that a turtle? I paused to pet him (gently).

Just as suddenly as it had started, the shrieking sound stopped. I looked around, hoping to figure out what had caused it. It didn’t seem to have come from the campsite...

I noticed a little band shelter tucked into some trees behind the camping area. As I approached, I was greeted by a very loud, very peppy monkey.

My jaw dropped. “Y-you were... singing?” I asked, shocked. That must have been the awful screeching noise...

I tried to think quickly. “Um, no, that’s okay,” I responded as politely as possible. “I’m actually on my way, uh... to... somewhere else right now. Maybe next time!” I felt a bit bad as she looked a little crestfallen for a moment, but she perked back up right away. “No worries!” she grinned. “I’ll just be here practicing, maybe you can swing by later!” I nodded and quickly made my escape before she could start singing again.

I was really feeling a bit out of sorts now. Maybe the bananas combined with all that running?... I was so absorbed with thought that I barely noticed I had entered a little neighborhood.

There was even a little heart-shaped pond.

Just as I was about to continue deeper into the neighborhood, I heard a hammering from one of the backyards. As I approached, I saw a brightly colored monkey working on some kind of project. He turned to me and said,

I laughed and informed him it was a lovely island, but I was just visiting. I couldn’t help but notice that he gave me a rather odd look as I was walking away...

I walked past a few more houses and into what looked like a community garden, when I heard a small “Pssst!” coming from behind a shrub. I turned, and a tiny frog was hiding there.

I was troubled by her comment. “But everyone here is so nice, I’ve been visiting all day and-” She cut me off,

She hopped away from me frantically, and I stood there aghast. What did she mean, they had turned me into one of th-

OHMIGOSH. I had a monkey butt! When did this happen?! And how? And why don’t I have a tail like the other monkeys? I fretted. I ran from the garden, headed for the nearest house.

I knocked madly on the door, and the confused monkey inside let me in. I hysterically tried to explain my situation, that I had been turned into a monkey against my will, but she wouldn’t let me finish.

She hesitated, looking me up and down before continuing.

Aren’t gorillas and monkeys kind of the same thing? I wondered anxiously. As if reading my mind, Shari said, “I don’t think Morgan much cares for gorillas... Your only option is to go find Flip. He’s the Slurpiest monkey here, if anyone can help you, it’s him.” I left her house with many questions. Who was Morgan? How could Flip help me? I decided in order to get the answers, I had to find Flip.

I didn’t find him in the apiary.

I ran down every nook and cranny searching for him.

He wasn’t on the beach... there were some little sea critters, though.

Finally, I found him in the library.

I ran over to him and explained my conundrum. To my astonishment, he laughed.

I was a bit taken aback when he began to cry.

Just then,  a voice called out. “Flip, who are you talking to over there?” I spun around and went pale as a sheet. This must be Morgan. What would she do to me?

“Please don’t hurt me,” I pleaded. “I didn’t ask to be a gorilla, it just sort of happened.” Morgan looked confused, and she laughed. “What are you talking about? I would never hurt a gorilla, I just don’t ask them to live on my island... They tend to hog the bananas. Seeing as you are a gorilla, however, I’m going to have to ask you to leave...”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up in a cold sweat.

Racing to my mirror, I breathed a sigh of relief. No gorillas here, I reassured myself.

As I walked back outside to go to the airport, I passed Pango, who was sweeping at Resident Services. “Did you hear we’re getting a new neighbor?” she called out to me. Drat, I thought, Tom must have invited someone while I was napping. I approached Pango. “Who is it?” I asked hopefully. She thought for a moment, trying to remember. “Oh, some gorilla... I think her name is Violet.”

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Slurp Dream Address: DA 1832-4844-2963

Check out the creator’s Twitter (@GurgleNSlurp) for more picture and updates of Slurp, as well as her second island, Gurgle!

Gorilla dress from MA-9987-9809-2582