#and that is only in this one specific source i found and in none of the other and im not even near his first exile yet

[thegh0stofwilburtheworm]

doing writing about someones biography is so hard bc all of your sources will have conflicting dates and youll have to kinda piece together a time line and then youll find a source that completely contradicts that timeline and you now have to backtrack two paragraphs and start em all over again all while trying to put your own spin and narration style to it as to avoid plagiarism, anyway im going bananas

[ihatethecrowdsyouknowthat]

because i liked a boy - spencer reid x fem!reader

somehow a reporter finds out about reader's relationship with none other than her coworker, dr spencer reid and shames her for it during a press conference

genre: flangst wc: 1355 warnings: medialiaison!reader established relationship, slut-shaming, feminism talk, upset spencer, morgan mention, mentioned case involving children

"This is a rough composite sketch of the UnSub. If anyone sees him, please call us using the number on the screen. Any questions?" you speak clearly, eyebrows raised and back straight.

It's a tough case this time, not that any are easy. The ones involving children–like this one–are the worst. You know that. It’s yet to hit you this hard, though. You're used to being in front of a camera all fake smiles and airbrushed to look porcelain but you're struggling to hold it together today. It’s never been easy to see grieving parents begging for their kid’s life on national television.

It also doesn't help that you haven't seen Spencer much these past two days. Ever since HR found out about you two, he’s been trying to keep his distance for professionalism’s sake. You appreciate it, of course, but you wish everything could be normal again. You miss working alongside him, sneaking tiny waist pinches every little while. Maybe you’re codependent.

One of the male reporters holding a microphone asks plainly, like it isn’t rude, “how do you expect this case to go to trial with your ongoing relationship within your team? Isn’t that some sort of conflict of interest?”

Now, how did they find out about that?

Luckily, Hotch steps in before you need to form a response. You’re left flushed and out of sorts, needing some water or something. It’s not like you’ve never had a bad press experience but nothing that came after you specifically. Why do they even care in the first place? Are you really that interesting? Is your love life really that interesting? His mustn’t be.

To Hotch, he spits, “it’s a valid question, Agent, you can’t expect no one to comment on one of your unit’s members sleeping her way to the top or… sleeping her way to getting a case dismissed.”

You want to stay, fight, cry, maybe even guilt him into apologizing, but, to your dismay, you’re pulled away by Morgan who looks just as upset as you do. If there weren’t a room full of people stopping him, you’re sure he would’ve hurt the guy. You don’t want to be dragged away by the action figure that is Derek Morgan so you try to pour your feelings into words. “The conference– the case–!”

Morgan stares at you in a way that very clearly says are you done? And, yes, you guess you are. You sigh, nodding reluctantly.

“Hotch will figure it out,” he assures softly but firmly.

You’re escorted to the break room where you watch the television only to see that very same reporter, spewing his nonsense again. Low and behold, he’s still stuck on the topic of you.

“An anonymous source discloses the identities of two FBI agents with the Behavioural Analysis Unit that are in a relationship of hidden rendezvous.”

The pitter-patter of your heart is louder than usual as he reads out your names along with the loving message, “I guess this proves that women really can’t be trained. What a shame, she’s certainly got–”

With that, you shut off the disgusting noises coming from someone claiming to be a man. You’ve never been good at taking insults but this was something else entirely. Your chest burns. You’re being perceived as a person you’re not. Everything you’ve tried so hard to build could all come crashing down at this very moment if you let it.

All because you liked a boy?

It feels ridiculous, like a step in the wrong direction for all womankind. That’s dramatic, you’re sure, but this is so twenty years ago. What happened to feminism, for fuck’s sakes? You wouldn’t give Spencer up for anything less than solving world hunger, but you wish this whole ordeal could’ve never happened. What if you lose your job? What if you lose this case because you’re too sensitive to male attention for your own good? Unfortunate circumstances led here and you wish it could be simple. It’s a tall order, but you wish UnSubs and all the people who enjoy pinning others down would simply cease to exist. You wish Spencer was here.

As if reading you all the way from canvassing the neighborhood, he’s suddenly visible, walking towards the doorway with quick Converse-sounding steps, Morgan’s hand on his shoulder. He looks worried. What worries you, though, is that he looks guilty. That hurts.

Familiar arms wrap around you as he kneels on the floor in front of the couch. “Hey, I heard what happened. Are you okay?” Spencer whispers, lips pressed into the fabric covering your shoulder.

You ponder the question for a moment before nodding. You’re not quite sure how you feel, if you’re being completely truthful. Criticism was never something you’ve taken well. Not ever. Maybe you deserve it, though. After all, you are sleeping with a coworker. You’re an agent, it’s not appropriate of you in the least. You should’ve kept to yourself, been the good girl the world wanted you to be. Female agents in the big bad FBI are already seen a certain way. You just happened to worsen it with wide-eyed affection.

How he always does, he mutters an explanation, “people like that don’t have anything going for them, you know. They report on others because their own life is insignificant.”

It’s wildly the wrong time to laugh but you do, flushed cheeks plumping from a happy smile. He pulls away and your hands find his face like they always seem to do. “I know.”

He nods. He pushes a strand of hair behind your ear.

He’s so unbelievably pretty that it almost makes you want to cry. Those same somber eyes that you’re sure mirror yours stare deep.

“It just sucks… you know?” you say so very quietly.

Nodding, he chews on his lip. “I know.”

“It’s like… I thought slut-shaming was over,” you laugh bitterly.

You can tell he feels bad. It’s not like this is his fault. You know he believes it is, anyways.

“It should be. It’s ridiculous. This isn’t your fault. That useless guy should be spending the night in a cell for harassing an agent not on the ten o’clock news airing out our personal matters.”

It’s really not often you see him like this, upset and wielding pain-filled threats. It never fails to amuse you. You’re not sure why. Something about the juxtaposition of his usual sweet demeanor and this annoyed ranting one, you suppose.

“It’s kind of funny.”

“Funny?”

You smile and nod, your thumb tracing his lower lip. “A little. We’re the most enthralling news in all of small-town-Colorado.”

While Spencer doesn’t find it quite as giggle-inducing, he mimics the pull of your mouth’s corners and shows his reluctant agreement with a bob of his head. “That is… silly, I guess.”

“We’re basically stars,” you shrug.

In honest disbelief and certainly awe for your ability to brush off the event with humour, he shakes his head, curls falling out of place. Your fingers rush to correct it. The golden eyes you love stay stubbornly put on your own. Breaths mix together in the close proximity despite you not recalling how you got so close. It’s proven difficult to care when his plush lips find yours. Carefully and with love, he kisses you. With no intent, no desire other than to make you feel better. It breaks stickily, the shimmer that once was on your lips now ghosting around his mouth. You grin.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Spencer tenderly mutters.

Gently, you answer, “I’m sure. I mean, we didn’t do anything wrong.”

You believe yourself. You’d never doubt your relationship with Spencer. It just sucks that they had to poke holes in your safe place. That safe place being Spencer. Your home. You know because of your profiler-by-association background that he was right about the reporter being not fulfilled enough in his own life that he had to insert himself into yours. That didn’t make it drastically better, anyway. Perhaps your personal life should be kept away from work.

But it’s not your fault that work happens to include Dr. Spencer Reid.

[myjjongie]

☾ CRAVING YOU ── p. jongseong

IN WHICH: your office rival isn't so keen on seeing you sit in the middle of two male coworkers at the company dinner.

PAIRING: coworker!jay x coworker fem!reader GENRE/WARNINGS: lowercase intended !!, one shot, skinship, they make out (sigh), fluff, angst if you squint hard enough, enemies to lovers, slight sexual tension, mentions of alcohol consumption, slight consent issues WORD COUNT: 3.1k ₊⊹♡ EVIE'S NOTE: not necessarily NSFW, but some themes are a bit... so i think it's appropriate to label this as mdni tbh. also if you're thinking "evie was this inspired off of that clip of jay taking a shot recently?". yes. a million times yes. need one drink with him and i'm set for LIFE man. it's insane how quick i thought of this when i first saw that clip LOL

you never thought your future office life would be far from quiet.

no more peaceful work days you imagined about. or the the quiet productivity of a cubicle with your desk neighbor. instead your reality consisted of constant irritation. a never ending battle of slight competition. all with one specific coworker who was hell bent on making your life difficult.

the source of that daily frustration was none other than park jongseong.

things weren’t always like this. when you first joined the company, jongseong was nothing more than a diligent employee. always professional, consistently well dressed, and always adjusting the glasses that rested on the bridge of his nose as he focused on his tasks. at the time he barely spared you a second glance. too consumed by his own work to worry about a newcomer.

but then things changed one day. soon your efforts didn’t go unnoticed. your team leader spoke highly of you in your meetings. making sure to give you praises for your dedication to your work. all it took was one comment from him for your office life to flip.

a passing remark from your team leader about jongseong learning from you, was all it took to make you his competition. in the beginning it was ridiculous. it was as if you saw a child throwing a tantrum. but as jongseong’s antics persisted, you inevitably found yourself drawn into the rivalry you both had subconsciously created.

yet despite that you found yourself falling for him. at first you hated the thought of it. why would you like the person who single handedly flipped your peaceful office life? but then you slowly realized why. jongseong may have been a prick to you on many occasions, yet at the same time he was a gentleman.

jongseong unironically was able to pick up on when enough was enough. he paid attention to how you always reacted to the mutual banter. despite that he was also caring and showed concern. especially during late nights in the office. going out of his way to prepare microwavable meals when you didn’t eat. those small thoughtful gestures had you falling for him before you even realized it.

maybe you would have told jongseong your feelings. but deep down you knew he viewed you as a rival and nothing more. as disheartening as it was. it was something you could live with, but soon found hard in doing so.

now here you were at a dinner celebrating another successful quarter. you were currently sandwiched between two male colleagues of yours. you’ve never really spoken to them much. only quick greetings or slight talk about a mutual interest. at most, they were acquaintances to you.

the close space bothered you slightly, but knew it wouldn’t matter once you started to down some alcohol. after all, this was a celebration dinner, it wouldn’t hurt to get a drink.

meanwhile, on the other side of the small restaurant jongseong was sat with the team leader. accompanied by some other employees. the moment he spotted you, his eyes locked on to you. irritation knitting into his brow as he noticed you sandwiched between the two men. he couldn’t stand it. but he forced himself to push those feelings aside. determined to make the most out of the dinner. even if it was slightly unenjoyable.

jongseong learned early on he liked you. he noticed it the minute he realized his eyes would find you around the office. whether it was in the break room, at your cubicle, or during meetings. he wanted you within his sight at all times. yet jongseong knew you would never feel the same way if he continued this charade of a rivalry. soon he changed his actions, but made sure it wouldn’t be noticed. he’d hoped that if he gathered enough courage. maybe, just maybe, you’d feel the same.

minutes blurred into a half hour, then a hour. you teetered on the edge of drunkenness, while those around you had long since given into their intoxication. anytime your shot glass was empty, your coworkers were quick to refill your glass. your head ached slightly as your body became flushed. yet that didn’t stop you from downing more shots along with beer. at a certain point an arm was thrown around your shoulders. so intoxicated you didn’t even notice your coworker leaning on your body for support.

jongseong’s eyes still glued on you took immediate notice of the way your body leaned in closer to them. his fingers curled tightly around the shot glass, knuckles slowly turning white.

“jongseong would you like another shot?” the team leader spoke up as he eyed the empty glass.

jongseong hummed a reply. once his glass was full, he turned his head to down the shot. the burn of the liquor not doing much to calm his forming annoyance. once setting the glass down, the sharp clink was louder than he intended. his jaw clenched as jongseong silently cursed at himself for how quickly jealousy was getting the best of him. jongseong knew he had no right to be so possessive over you, yet. he couldn’t stand those men peering as closely as they did.

everyone at jongseong’s table looked over at him. confused looks forming at the sudden slam of his glass. “sorry. maybe that should be enough alcohol for me. didn’t even realize i slammed it that hard.” he let out a awkward laugh, hoping it would kill the silence at the table. as well as using it as an excuse to sober up.

soon the chatter at jongseong’s table picked up again. the sound drowning out to him as he once again watched you diligently.

back at your table you were now more than just tipsy. to many drinks in your system to count. you were enjoying the moment of laughter mixed with drinks. you barely realized one of the guys next to you leaned in closer to say something into your ear. resulting in a giggle to leave you.

the moment jongseong saw his fellow coworker leaning in, his grip on his shot glass tightened, jaw clenching. his patience now wearing thin snapped as you smiled at him. the scrap from the chair against the floor was sharp. enough to silence the conversation around him yet again. all eyes were now focused on him. but he paid no mind as his eyes were only on you.

“is everything okay jongseong?” one of the fellow employees asked. but he remained silent, his focus entirely on your table.

his response was curt as he realized his silence. “yes. i just need to take care of something.” stepping out from the chair, jongseong made his way to your table with heavy footsteps.

too busy downing another shot, you didn’t realize jongseong made his way over to you. you finally noticed his presence the moment his low voice rang in your ears behind you.

“i think she’s had enough.” jongseong’s voice came out sharper then he intended, cutting through the drunken laughter. he was quick to notice the two men hesitate beside you before glancing over at him. good. let them be aware of who they’re messing with.

“jongseong? what are you doing here.” you let out a soft giggle.

“we just poured her another shot. let her finish it and then she can leave!” one of the guys protested hesitantly. it bothered jongseong on how they insisted for you to drink more.

he let out a scoff, quick to yank the arm that was draped around your shoulder away. resting his hand firmly on the back of your chair, jongseong leaned over to grab the shot glass. downing it all in one swift gulp. setting the glass back down, jongseong noticed the familiar burn of the alcohol felt nice this time. an annoyed smile made its way onto his face as he spoke. “there. she’s finished. happy now?”

the two men deciding not to mess with jongseong any further fell silent. with a satisfied laugh, he softly pulled your chair back extending his hand to you. grasping it firmly you stood up, only to stumble slightly. jongseong was quick to react. his hand securely wrapped around your waist to steady you.

“thank you.” you cooed softly. his ears flushed slightly at the sound of your voice. a shy smile tugging at his lips.

once saying goodbye to everyone at the restaurant, jongseong ushered you to his car. the hand that was placed around your waist was held in your hand. you were walking ahead of him, almost seemingly dragging him along. you swung your other arm happily as you made your way to the car.

finally making it to his car. jongseong helped you get into the passenger seat. before he was even able to open the car door, you stumbled again. leaning against the car for support you looked over to see jongseong’s arm propped next to you. his eyes stared into you as he took in the moment. jongseong couldn’t help but chuckle lightly at your situation.

on some strange instinct your arms wrapped around his neck. you weren’t the type to be clingy to others while drunk. yet knowing it was jongseong taking care of you, you couldn’t help but do just that.

“jay~” your voice chimed as you smiled softly at him. “thank you.” jongseong’s jaw tightened at the sudden nickname. he wasn’t keen on using his personal name at work. but with you he found it hard to maintain that barrier. especially after he let it slip into a conversation during a late overtime shift.

“don’t thank me. i’m just doing what’s best.” he softly spoke as he opened the car door. jongseong couldn’t lie. in this moment he wanted to kiss you badly. despite feeling that, he held back every nerve from doing so. in fear even if you were tipsy, you would still reject him.

after gently guiding you into the car seat you were quick to doze off. the heat of all the alcohol lulling you to sleep. jongseong couldn’t help but smile at your sleeping form in the passenger seat. the drive to your apartment was silent. your soft breathing being the only sound within the car.

you woke up to the gentle shake of jongseong’s hand on your shoulder. a dull pounding already forming in your head. blinking against the haze of sleep, you stirred, still groggily from the small power nap you took.

“where am i?” you looked around as your eyes focused on the surroundings outside.

“in front of your apartment complex. you drank too much so i brought you home.” jongseong skipped out on a few moments, the whole thing wasn’t particularly a lie.

“i’ll help you out give me a second.” quick to his words, jongseong immediately got out of the car. almost sprinting to your side if you were able to notice.

his hand stretched out for you to grab, as he pulled you out from the car. the walk up to your apartment was nice. jongseong’s hand once again placed at your waist to help keep you steady. you enjoyed the firm grasp he had on you. mentally cursing at yourself that once you reached your door that touch would be gone.

you made sure your pace was slow. wanting to savor the closeness in the moment. jongseong noticed this, but deemed it as you slightly sobering up after your mini nap. he forced himself to think nothing more of it. he didn’t want to read into a situation that was far from what he wanted.

reaching your door jongseong’s hand still never left your waist. keeping you upright as you placed in your pin code. just like you were slowly making your way to the apartment, you stalled opening the door. you had to come to terms that this was it. you bit your lip as you felt jongseong’s hand slide away from your waist.

but once you opened the door, you lost your balance yet again. you tumbled forward, eyes squeezing as you prepared to fall face first. yet you never met the ground. the soft sound of your door closing with a tune echoed behind you. taking in the scene. jongseong had steadied his hand against the wall, while his other arm was tightly wrapped around your waist.

heat ran to your cheeks as you became aware of how close your bodies were. you prayed jongseong wouldn’t hear the frantic pounding of your heart. as he steadied you on your feet once more, jongseong spoke.

“you’re really clumsy when you’re drunk. thank goodness i was here. if i wasn’t you most definitely would have smacked your face against the floor.”

a subtle shiver spread through you as his quiet laugh vibrated against your back. you did everything you could to hold onto the moment. wishing time would slow just enough to make this moment last longer. you made sure to remember every fleeting detail. but soon, jongseong pulled away. his hands settling gently on your shoulders, steadying you once more.

“it’s getting late so i’m gonna head out. don’t fall over right when i leave. i’ll associate clumsiness with you if that happens.” the warmth from his hands left your body. you disliked it. you couldn’t help but want to be greedy for his touch.

just as jongseong was about to reach for the door handle, he froze. your fingers curled softly around the sleeve of his dress shirt, stopping him in his tracks.

“could you stay a little longer?” your voice was meek. slightly afraid you over crossed a boundary. even more so afraid jongseong would reject your small advance.

a curse slipped past jongseong’s lips before he could stop himself. his hand raising, fingers wrapping around your wrist as he pulled you closer. pinning you gently against the wall. his glasses reflected the dim lighting hiding the intensity of his gaze. he felt hesitant, the need to restrain himself. but then he saw it, the flicker of yearning in your eyes. that was all it took. his lips met yours. firm yet searching, knowing he had been holding back for far too long.

the hand that had pinned your wrist against the wall now cradled your cheek. his thumb brushing against your skin as he deepened the kiss. jongseong smirked at the faint taste of alcohol lingering on your lips. in that moment he could only focus on the softness of your mouth against his. your fingers tightened around his arm, legs threatening to give out beneath you.

a low growl vibrated in jongseong’s chest at the feeling of his glasses uncomfortably pressing between you. he hesitated briefly, even if it was for a slight second before pulling away. both your breathing uneven as his fingers slid up to the bridge of his nose. quick to yank the frames off with an irritated sigh before pocketing them. his eyes landed back to yours, heavy with want. your stomach fluttered at the anticipation as his lips collided with yours.

his teeth softly grazed your bottom lip. wanting to gain a more deeper access. satisfied with your eager compliance, he was quick to make work with his tongue. his hand inched from your cheek to your chin, tilting your head up to open the kiss.

your knees buckled lightly at the overwhelming shiver that coursed through you. noticing your unsteadiness, jongseong quickly lifted one of your thighs to his side. this helped to stabilize you against him and the wall. not being able to help himself, his fingers brushed lightly beneath your skirt. the warm touch igniting a wave of sensation against your bare skin. the feeling alone drew a soft moan to leave your lips.

your grip now on his dress shirt, tightened in hopes to steady yourself. as the kiss deepened your breath began to hitch. lungs aching from the lack of air. softly hitting against his chest, jongseong took the hint and parted ways.

a smirk curled onto his face as he took in your flushed cheeks. “fuck, you’re beautiful.” he murmured, unable to contain his adoration. he leaned in, lips now trailing against your neck. jongseong left a delicate path of butterfly kisses along your neck down to your collarbone. pausing to suck gently at a particular sensitive spot. he lingered for a moment, savoring the intimacy between you.

his head raised up from the crook of your neck. his eyes stared into yours. even if you were still tipsy you could read him. you knew he wanted this badly, yet he had to stop himself. not for his sake but yours.

“i want this so much yn. i really do. but. not while you’re barely sober… i can’t do that too you.” he pressed his forehead against yours.

“i know…” your voice was low knowing this was where it had to end.

jongseong gently released your thigh helping you regain balance on both feet. you yearned for more from him. more from this moment. but deep down, you knew it was for the best.

“i’m gonna leave now. if this is really what i hope it is. please remember in the morning. if you don’t… god i don’t know what i’m gonna do.” jongseong closed his eyes tightly as if pleading for you to remember everything. the kiss, the way his hands held you, even the moment of shared feelings between you.

you cupped his cheek gently, your fingers tracing the warmth of his skin. “i will. i’ll make sure of it.” jongseong exhaled deeply as he leaned into your touch. already dreading the moment he’d have to let it go.

taking the palm of your hand to his lips. he left gentle kisses along your hand. sending a shiver through your body at the ticklish feeling.

“i’ll see you on monday yn.” he whispered while parting ways from the wall. digging into his pocket to place the glasses back on his face. his back turned to you as he adjusted them.

even in your sobering up state, you understood the situation clearly. as much as you longed for him. his body against yours, his lips kissing you feverishly. it didn’t feel right when you weren’t fully sober.

watching jongseong walk into the elevator you softly closed the door. as the door clicked shut, your forehead pressed against the frame. jongseong’s touch still lingered on your body. your fingers shakily grazed against your lips, the events not sinking in yet. your heart pounded in your chest as you whispered a silent prayer. “please, please, please. don’t forget this.”

perm taglist ( open! refer to this post ) . . . @ikeulove @leehsngs @nickiminajleftasscheek @ijustwannareadstuff20 @sunghoon-cam

©myjjongie 2025

[biowaredisasterbisexual]

One thing I found wonderful about Neve, aside from literally everything about her of course, was how she subverted our expectations about mages from Tevinter and provided an excellent and nuanced view into facets of how Tevinter’s class system works in practice.

In prior games, most of what we learn of Tevinter is hearsay from Southerners who aren’t fans. We are told by these sources little of true detail, other than broad explanations of the Imperium’s class system and that they are a mage oligarchy. Oh, and that the south think they’re all evil blood mages.

The times we’ve interacted with mages from Tevinter at all, they’ve come primarily from the Altus class, like Dorian. Those from another class were acknowledged in Inquisition, Calpernia being a good example, but largely if we were interacting with a Tevinter mage, they were an Altus citizen of the Imperium. These are the elites, right? They play an important role in Tevinter society - indeed Tevinter’s society is formed around them - but they really aren’t exemplars of it because although they wield a lot of power they are by far outnumbered by people from other classes.

Enter Neve. Not born into an Altus family, not born into a mage family at all, she grew up Soporati class and by all accounts not well off, until her magic showed up and she was elevated to Laetan class. Dorian tells us that part of how the Magisterium keeps the many, many non-Altus inhabitants of the Imperium in line is that there’s always that hope that a mage will be born in the family. It opens up the opportunity to join the Laetan class, opens up better marriage prospects, opens up jobs in the bureaucracy….

But the flip side of that, we learn through Neve, is that those Laetan mages who fulfill that hope for their family of being born with magic can be just as damaged by that elevation as they are benefitted by it. Being Laetan doesn’t make someone rich, it just means they might have access to certain jobs (ones Dorian scoffs at) they otherwise wouldn’t. And they can attend the Circles of Magi, which guarantees them an education. They’re still poor, sometimes, or maybe middle class bureaucrats, they’re still looked down on by Altus mages. Still denied meaningful access to that privileged class. But marginally better off than the Soporati. Neve’s relatives try to use her new status to their advantage, all the same, other than a single uncle she speaks well of.

Compare this to a Shadow Dragon Rook. The game tells us SD Rook is adopted into a military family. That means that, unless you headcanon one of their parents as a mage, the Mercar family are Soporati (Liberati and slaves cannot serve in the Imperium’s army). One relative of SD Rook is a high-ranking officer, though which relative is headcanon specific. In practical terms, speaking only financially, SD Rook likely grew up better off than Neve did. Even though she’s a mage and even if SD Rook isn’t. If Legate Mercar is Rook’s father, SD Rook was likely Significantly better off financially growing up.

Service in the Imperium’s army is one of the few stable, arguably decently paid jobs in the Imperium other than working in the civilian government (like the Templars) for Soporati. That’s its whole appeal.

So through Neve, we get insight into how the class system works in practice in this nation we’ve been taught over and over in prior games prioritizes and elevates mages. And what we’ve heard is…kind of true, in broad strokes. But it’s not the whole picture. She challenges a lot of what we thought we knew. And I think it’s awesome that through Neve we get to see that nuance.

* Now, I have…so much to say about how I personally conceive of the Imperium’s military and its pay, none of it canon although informed by it, because I am a nerd, but this is all just from in-game information.

[kamiversee]

➶-͙˚ ༘✶ 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁*𝘾𝙆 𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏

✧.* CHAPTER 15 || The New Information

[ { SYPNOSIS } ] ➤ A tale in which Gojo Satoru blackmails you into seducing a list of people to clear his debt. Sounds easy enough, right?

[ { CHAPTER CONTENT } ] ➤ language, a bit of angst, and fluff.

[ { WORD COUNT } ] ➤ 4.2k

[ { PAIRINGS } ] ➤ jjk men x f!reader. gojo x f!reader. geto x f!reader. toji x f!reader. choso x f!reader. sukuna x f!reader. nanami x f!reader.

[ [ chapters mlist } ]

——"PLEASE GO AWAY," YOU SIGHED desperately in response to the man behind you as if your words would make him disappear.

That laugh of his you once found pleasant but now find annoying is heard. "Relax, sweets. I'm not here to bother you." Gojo hums.

You don't turn around to face him just yet, "Is Shoko here?"

"Nope." He replies simply.

Your brows furrow, "Then how'd you get in?"

"You should really check your text messages, love."

There's a pang in your chest at the sound of that specific pet name. "Don't call me that." You say through slightly gritted teeth.

Gojo scoffs, "Why?"

"Cause' you don't mean it." You explain simply, "You're just saying shit just to say it and it's baseless, it's fake."

"It's not, actually." He argues.

"Whatever. Why are you here?"

He diverts, "Was that Choso I just saw?"

"None of your business." You tell him. "Why are you here?"

"It actually is my business since you wouldn't even know the guy without me," Gojo argues.

You scoff, annoyance is stirring within you. "I might've."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," You whisper, your voice solemn. "I might've even had a chance with him..."

"You wanted one?" He scoffs again, "Seriously?"

"Yes Gojo, yes I did."

"Well he's still on the list so you can-"

"No, I can't." You cut off, "I can't get with him Gojo, you know that."

"What's stopping you from getting with him?" He asks in a confused manner.

You think you lose it after he asks such a stupid question. You slowly turn around to face the man and see him standing in front of your room, resting against the doorframe.

"Don't ask me stupid questions like that. Why are you here?" You voice out sternly.

It's clear that you're both tired and upset and Gojo even notices the way you're leaning back against the door to hold yourself up.

He raises an eyebrow, "Did you and him just..." Both of his eyebrows then raise as he makes his own assumptions. "Damn, three in one day? Are you becoming a whore?" Gojo gasps dramatically.

Your face twists up and you scowl, "What?"

"I mean, first you sucked Suguru off in his car, then you went and got pounded by Mr. Fushiguro, and then you somehow made time to sleep with Choso as well?" He assumes, "Shit, I'm impressed."

"What the hell? No, that's not what happened."

"So... why're your legs shaking so much?" Gojo asks with a concerned tilt of his head.

You glance down at yourself and then scoff. "Mr. Fushiguro has a big dick, that's why."

"Uhuh..." Gojo hums, unamused.

You then look back up to him. "And how did you know about me and Suguru...?"

"He told me."

"Of course he did."

Gojo shakes his head, "Y'know, if I keep paying you for every time you sleep with him, I'm gonna go broke."

"Not my problem."

"But it literally is."

"Where do you get all this money from anyways?"

"I have my sources." Gojo shrugs.

You blink. "Okay... Well, you agreed to pay me, so-"

"I didn't agree to you becoming a whore." Gojo claims. You can tell there's something about the whole thing that's bothering him.

"That's what I've been from the start though," You snap back, "Isn't it?"

He pauses. Those blue eyes of his simply stare at you from across the room and you notice you've got him stuck.

After a moment of thought, he speaks again. "Maybe. But the list is different..." Gojo says.

You roll your eyes, "How?"

"You're only supposed to fuck someone and get paid once."

"If that's the case, why'd you agree on allowing me to fuck someone and get paid more than once?" You ask with an innocent tilt of your head.

There's a vein popping out along the man's jawline and his eyes are low, "Cause' I didn't think you'd turn Suguru into your little fuck buddy."

"It was his idea, y'know." You blurt out. "He's the one who suggested the whole thing."

"So?" Gojo blinks, "You're the one who keeps meeting up with him."

"I need the money." You shrug.

"Is that the only reason you keep hooking up with him?" Gojo questions, chuckling a little. His distaste is obvious and written all over his face, "Cause' you need the money??"

"Yeah." You hum.

"Liar."

"What other reason would I have?"

"You're doing it to piss me off."

You laugh at his words, finding true amusement in the way he thinks everything is about him. "Oh please. I'm sleeping with Suguru because he fucks me well and I'm getting paid for it."

Gojo shrugs, "I could do the same thing."

"Yeah, but I don't like you." You tell him for what feels like the millionth time. "Even thinking about sleeping with you again makes me wanna throw up."

His face twists up in disbelief, "Bullshit."

"It's not."

"Nobody on that list, including Suguru, can fuck you better than me."

You can't help but laugh at the man again, "Mr. Fuhsiguro just did."

"Oh really?" Gojo scoffs.

"Yeah. His dick's bigger than yours too."

"Think I care?"

"Wouldn't be standin' here right now if you didn't."

"I'm actually only here to drop that off," Gojo tells you as he nods his chin toward the nearby counter.

You glance over and spot a few racks of cash designated for you. A pleased hum leaves you before you look back over to Gojo.

An eyebrow is raised at him, "Well, you dropped it off. Shouldn't you be on your way out now?"

"I should but..." Gojo suddenly pulls something out from behind his back. It's the journal you'd been writing in. "We've gotta talk about the stupidness behind writing down the details of the list in this journal of yours." He hums.

Your eyes go wide, "What the hell? Did you go rummaging through my room??"

"Uh, no. Someone left it sitting on their nightstand."

"You'd have to look into my room to see that..."

"I saw you changed your room around and took a peek," Gojo tells you honestly as if it's no big deal.

You don't know why but the fact that he even recognized the change in your bedroom stuck you oddly. Did you like the fact that he noticed? Or did it piss you off that he looked in there to begin with? Perhaps it was a bit of both...

"Okay, stalker much?" You say with an unamused laugh. You then begin to steadily make your way toward the man, your eyes locking onto the journal held in his hands. "Also, I need that back."

Gojo laughs at you and waves the item around, "You need this back? What for? At this point, it's like you're asking for someone to find it and figure everything out."

You lean against the nearby counter and halt yourself, "I-I'm not... I just wanted to keep everything organized."

"This is by far the dumbest way to do so." He comments, pushing himself off the wall and looking down at the journal.

Gojo makes his way over to you, his tall frame standing right in front of you. Those blue eyes of his are down on you, a taunting glint evident within his gaze.

You glare up at him, annoyed by every little thing about him-- his presence, his words, his voice, his stupidly handsome face, that attractive ass smirk he has as he stares at you, and the way his closeness makes you feel all weird inside.

"Just give me the journal and leave. Please?" You request with a sigh.

Gojo puts on this little pout to mock you, "How about no?"

"I thought you said you weren't here to bother me, this is bothering me." You huff.

He chuckles, "Sweets, I'm pretty sure everything I do bothers you." He then leans down to your face, "I bother you."

Your glare is continuous, "You do."

"Exactly so, that statement I made earlier was uh... what was it you said? Oh yeah, baseless." Gojo recalls.

The smirk he has on his face fades away and he leans up from your face. He then holds the journal up, "I'll be keeping this, 'kay?"

Your brows furrow and you instantly shoot a hand up to take the item from him. Your attempt fails as the man shoots his arm further up, extending it and making the journal out of your reach. A groan leaves you before you push up on your toes and continue to reach for it.

Gojo's smirk returns within seconds as he watches you struggle. The man then draws his arm back and you push yourself forward, nearly grabbing ahold of the journal.

Sadly, instead of grabbing it, your wobbly legs only cause you to fumble right into Gojo's chest and knock the two of you over and onto the floor with a thud.

You both groan in unison as you land on top of him, your face smushed against his chest. Gojo's quiet for a second and the two of you remain still for a long moment. He then snickers quietly and you lift your head and scowl at him.

"Fuck, don't look at me like that sweetheart. You're the one who jumped into me." Gojo teases.

You grit your teeth and push yourself up slightly, propping your upper half up with your arms and leaving your legs spread over his crotch. You spot the book loosely placed in his hand and move to grab it.

Gojo's got a steel grip on the item so as you try to take it out of his grasp, your body leans over him and your chest is right in his face while you try taking the journal from him.

You can hear him chuckling at the way you struggle, "Are you doing this on purpose?" Gojo asks.

You blink and look down at him, noticing the way your breasts are all above his face, "N-No." You hum.

The sudden feeling of his slim hands at your waist makes you flinch, "I mean, I'm not complaining... You should stay like this, actually."

For a moment, you almost let yourself get distracted. With his hands on your waist, you realize the journal is no longer in his grasp so you pick the item up off the floor.

"Idiot." You comment snarkily.

Gojo raises a brow before griping onto you tightly and abruptly flipping the two of you over, his larger body looming over yours. As you find yourself laid out on the floor, you keep the book held within your hand as tightly as you can.

You thought that would help you but with the way Gojo's legs were in between your own and the way his hands fly from your waist to your wrists, you steadily realize you have little to no control.

His fingers curl around your wrists and the man tilts his head at you, "C'mon, sweets, you didn't seriously think I was gonna let you take the journal from me that easily?"

You grimace, "Stop it with the pet name."

Gojo leans down to your face, his lips ghosting your own, "Or what?"

You grit your teeth again and stay quiet. What can you say to that when he's over your body like this? Part of you wanted to scream or spit on the man. You think your hatred for Gojo Satoru was at an alarming all-time high and you could feel your anger boiling in your veins.

Quietly, you look directly into his eyes and whisper back a simple, "I hate you so much."

Gojo pulls his face away slightly, "Do you?"

"I do." You hum, "I don't know how many times I have to say it for you to get it through that thick ass skull of yours but-"

Gojo puts a hand over your mouth and you think your eye twitches. "Nah, I get it... I just don't believe you." He whispers and you watch the way his expression sinks again, his eyes saddened.

And god do you hate the way your heart throbs at his stupidly solemn expression. He steadily takes his hand off your mouth and your wrist, sitting up and still hovering over you. He's quick to take the journal from you as he does so.

You'd yet to give up on getting that book back from him so the moment he sits up, you sit up too and push him right back down-- crawling over him, grabbing both of his arms and crossing them over his head while pinning his wrists down and snatching up the journal in one swift motion.

You now sit comfortably on his crotch, pinning his arms down with all of your strength and holding the journal up and far away from him. "Bitch." You utter to him, semi-playfully.

You do not imagine the throb of his cock beneath you in reaction and you scoff at him.

"Holy fuck," A mocking smirk spreads across your face, "You like that shit?"

"The hell are you talking about?" Gojo snaps back.

"Being degraded." You clarify, "You're into that, aren't you?"

"What? No." Gojo lies.

The way you start laughing at him makes his heart throb. "Gojo, I just felt you."

"Felt me what?" He responds plainly through slightly gritted teeth.

"Twitch, idiot."

"I didn't-"

"Yeah, you did." You cut off, smiling teasingly at the man, "You got turned on by me calling you a bitch."

"N-No, I didn't." He stammers.

"Yes, you did!" You say enthusiastically, chuckling afterward as you truly find it humorous. "Fuck, is that what you wanna be Gojo? Hm?" You tease, leaning down to him slightly and whispering, "Wanna be my little bitch?"

You're not sure what came over you all of a sudden since you weren't interested in sleeping with him or providing him any sort of pleasure but... Something about the situation was just oh so amusing to you.

Again, Gojo's cock twitches beneath you and the male feels the slight stiffening in his length. "Fuck you." He curses.

"You want to so badly, don't you?" You say cooingly. "That's why you're really here, right? You're mad that I've been fucking Suguru and not you."

"Tch. No, I'm not. I don't care how many times you fuck him as long as it doesn't cost me every single time." He hums.

You tilt your head, "Really, so knowing that me and Suguru fuck pretty often doesn't bother you?"

"Do you want it to?" Gojo says in full seriousness, the look in his eyes dark.

"What? No." You reply.

"Okay, then stop telling me about it."

"Or what? You'll get pissed off?"

"Yeah, actually."

"Why?"

"Because I..." The man shuts his mouth and turns his head to the side.

You blink, "Because you what, Gojo?"

"Never mind. Get off me." He diverts.

"Make me."

His eyes shift over to you, "We both know I could if I wanted to. I'm being civil right now so, please get off me."

You glare at him a little longer and he slowly turns his head to you. Gojo's gaze on you is a mix of possessiveness and anger. The man looks at you like you belong to him and yet something's bothering him at the same time. Meanwhile, your look down at him is filled with nothing but pure distaste.

The man utters your name for the first time in a while, his voice low and tone deep. "You're not moving... Why?" He asks.

You swallow, unsure of the reasoning behind your still state.

Gojo raises a brow, "Do you..." He scoffs, "Do you need help standing...?"

A flushed and embarrassed warmth spreads across your face as you look off to the side.

"Awww, Mr. Fushiguro really did a number on ya', didn't he?" Gojo teases.

"You're so annoying."

"I'm aware. But, y'know... you'll have to let my wrists go if you want me to help you up." He says.

You shake your head, "Do you think I'm dumb? As soon as I let your wrists go, you're just gonna take the journal from me."

"I am. But that's only because if you keep it, someone's gonna find out."

"Not everyone is nosy like you, Gojo."

"You'd be surprised." He fires back.

You open your mouth to say something else but the sound of your apartment door opening makes both of you go rigid as if you'd been caught doing something you weren't supposed to.

You look up and Gojo angles his head so that he too can see who just came in. To no surprise, Shoko Ieiri enters the apartment with raised eyebrows at the odd sight of you on top of Gojo pinning his wrists down.

"Oh... that's not..." Shoko chuckles lightly, trailing off as she closes the door behind her and stares at the two of you on the floor.

You and Gojo speak in sync. "It's not what it looks like."

Shoko blinks, "Right... sure it isn't... I mean, if I'm interrupting something, I can just leave and come back another time-"

"N-No," You hum, releasing Gojo's wrists and sitting up properly, still on his crotch. "You're not interrupting anything, I just uh... fell."

Gojo moves his hands to your thighs and squeezes them, "Fell into the perfect position, honestly. Shoko you walked in at a bad time, we were totally about to fu-"

"No, we weren't." You cut off, sending him a quick glare.

Shoko giggles at the banter between you two. "Am I missing something? Are you two dating?"

"No." You answer before Gojo gets the chance to.

She raises a brow at you, "Are you suuure?"

"Positive." You say firmly.

She folds her arms and gives you a skeptical look, "I dunno roomie, when I walked in  it looked like you guys were two seconds away from fucking on the floor-"

"We weren't! I swear." You say assuringly.

"Yeah?" Shoko teases, "Then, why're you still on top of him?"

You freeze. There isn't really a good way for you to explain that a professor fucked your brains out before you came home and then you fell on top of Gojo and now you can't stand without help...

"Uhh.." You trail off.

"She's keepin' my cock warm right now." Gojo blurts out spontaneously.

Shoko scrunches up her face, "Gross, are you two actually-"

"Oh my god! No!" You huff, looking down to Gojo, "I'm gonna hurt you."

He bites his lip, "Are you now?"

"You fucking freak..." You whisper, your words only catching his ears.

Gojo then sits up with you shifting into his lap before his hands go to your waist. "You're lucky Shoko's your roommate." He whispers back to you before helping you stand up.

The two of you soon make your way up off the floor and Gojo makes sure to stand slightly in front of you to hide the way your legs are still shaking slightly. The shake wasn't exactly noticeable unless you started walking but it seems like Gojo still wanted to hide it from Shoko anyway.

"So," Shoko hums, again narrowing her eyes at the two of you. "I let you borrow our spare key for one day and you come in bothering my roommate...?" She says playfully, her words directed toward Gojo.

His eyes widen, "I wasn't bothering her!"

"Bullshit," You murmur.

Gojo scoffs at you in response before directing his words to Shoko again, "Anyways, I was just about to leave."

"Were you?" Shoko asks, clearly unconvinced.

The man in front of you nods his head and then glances behind himself and to you, "Don't miss me too much, sweets." He uttered casually with a wink.

You don't respond to him with anything more than your usual glare. With a dramatic sigh at your lack of a reply, Gojo shrugs and heads toward the front door, passing Shoko and teasingly sticking his tongue out at her.

Shoko chuckles at the man before he leaves and she shuts the door behind him.

With a giddy grin on her face, she does this dramatic slow turn around to look at you. "Soooo, are you gonna tell me what's really going on between the two of you."

You're quick to freeze, having quickly tossed all the cash Gojo left on the counter and your journal into your room before Shoko turned around. Now you stand at your bedroom door, your back to the woman and your eyes widened.

"Nothing's going on between us," You hum, tuning your head back to her.

She visibly doesn't believe you. "Are you suuuure?"

You blink, "Shoko... do you want there to be something between me and Gojo?"

The woman scoffs at your words, "You even talk like him now, holy shit. How long have you guys been fooling around?"

"We're not fooling around at all." You sigh.

She folds her arms, "Y'know, you are a shitty liar, sweets." She comments on purpose, having heard the way Gojo used the pet name toward you.

You swallow, "Please don't start..."

Shoko starts walking toward you slowly, "C'monnnn, how long have you guys been fucking?"

You freeze, "H-Huh? What makes you think we're-"

"It's kinda obvious. Just be honest with me." She says sweetly.

"We... We slept together once, Shoko. One time." You tell her, making sure to be very clear with how many times you've been with Gojo.

A smile spreads across her face, "Aww, really?"

"Yeah, why do you look so happy about this??"

"Cause' that idiot does nothing but gush about you and I'm happy to hear he finally got what he wanted." She says with a sigh as she turns to head toward her room.

"He... He gushes about me?" You question softly, turning your body to follow the direction she's going.

You don't know why you're so intrigued by Gojo gushing about you but your curiosity is oddly high.

"Hm?" Shoko pauses and looks at you, "Oh, yeah, all the time."

It would've been nice to know that before the list... "Why didn't you tell me?" You ask.

"Cause' I refuse to give Gojo the easy way out. If he likes you as much as he claims to, he should be able to talk to you himself." She explains, "Instead, the dumbass said something about being scared of women."

"Seriously?"

"Mhm. Like I said, he's an idiot." She shrugs.

A slow nod of your head is given to her, "Right..." You still don't know why but, your curiosity is eating at you now, "So, wait, does he like like me?"

"Like like, as in, does he have a crush on you?" She asks for clarification.

You nod.

"Nah," Shoko responds simply.

The odd well of anticipation you had sunk instantly, "Oh-"

"I'm pretty sure he's like, in love with you," She suddenly blurts out, looking off to the side in thought. She then chuckles as she recalls something, "Yeah, I think it's way more than a crush."

"You're joking right?" You breathe out.

"Nope!" She says enthusiastically. "If you ask him at the right time, and actually give him a chance, I guarantee you he'll confess."

Okay, you'll give Shoko the benefit of the doubt since she doesn't know what you do. She's not privy to the fact that Gojo's selfishly blackmailing you to fuck a list of people. But even so, you can't help but wonder what makes her come to such a conclusion.

For Gojo to be in love with you, he has the worst way of showing it.

Shoko's words only make you scoff and shake your head, "I'll uh, I'll ask him about it one day."

"Oh my god, so you're gonna give him a chance?!" She asks excitedly.

"Uh, no. there's..." You look off to the side, "Someone else I think I have feelings for."

"Ouu, who is it?" Shoko hums, her brows raising.

"Uh, I'll tell you about him another day..."

She chuckles, "Promise?"

"Pinky." You grin.

Both of your pinkys rise to the air and from a distance you pretend to lock your fingers to seal the little promise you just made. The two of you then dip off into your perspective spaces and you're left with your thoughts.

Gojo in love with you? Please. That's the most ridiculous thing you've heard all week. Why would Shoko say such a thing? Aside from today, this was her first time even seeing the two of you interact with one another...

It's odd to you how she could've come to such a conclusion. Maybe there are things she and Gojo have talked about regarding you before you and Gojo started talking. Maybe there's a lot about the guy you don't actually know...

Fuck, why are you thinking about this anyways? Who cares? His being in love with you obviously isn't going to change the situation he's put you in so there's no point in pondering over it.

Instead, you'll refocus yourself on what's really important; Choso Kamo.

He's the guy you want next. Though, you hope the bubbling feelings in your chest won't get in the way of you trying to have sex with him. And even more, you desperately hope that he doesn't have feelings for you.

At least, not yet.

Feelings will bring nothing but complications into the whole thing and you want to avoid them as much as you can. Only until the list is over. Then, you'll move to pursue a relationship with Choso.

Yeah, that sounds like the plan.

What could go wrong?

GOJO SATORU ✔︎

GETO SUGURU ✔︎

TOJI FUSHIGURO ✔︎

KAMO CHOSO ☐

NANAMI KENTO ☐

??? SUKUNA ☐

??? NAOYA ☐

mlist || previous chapt || next chpt

[snovyda]

Fanfic Plagiarism alert!

Attention, especially for the people in the following fandoms: Mission: Impossible (specifically Benthan) and Top Gun Maverick.

It brings me no joy to say that we have a big problem in these fandoms - a shameless serial plagiarist who copies other people's fanfics from other fandoms, changes character names and sometimes a few desciptions of the settings or adds a few sentences or paragraphs when they feel generous, and posts them as their own. It is literally Ctrl+C / Ctrl+V type of thing.

My friends and I have reported this person repeatedly on ao3, but we still have not received any response from the staff.

Seeing posts from fellow Benthan fans who are excited about the fact that we are getting close to having 1000 Benthan fics on ao3 makes me sad because of this, because I know quite a few of them are just not legit, and, since ao3 has not responded in months, I guess I have to do a good old public call-out.

This person is known on ao3 by the pen name rosexpetals. If they are reading this, I can only recommend them to delete the stolen works (not just the ones listed in this post, if more are stolen, they can be found later anyway) and take a long look at themselves and reflect on their actions. I wish for them to discover the actual joys of writing something of their own, of expressing their own feelings instead of hijacking other people's.

Below the cut are the links to the works and their sources that I and a couple of friends were able to find using just a simple quick Google search. Out of their 96 published fics, at least 29 are provably stolen (and those are just the ones we were able to find via simple searches), which gives off a strong feeling that none of their work is really original. Some of them were copied from the same source twice. 9 more fics are copies of each other, but in different fandoms (very likely just copied from the same sources). As you will see below, sometimes they didn't even bother to change the title of the original fic they were stealing from or its summary:

Fandom: Mission: Impossible (Benthan)

Fic: where's the trophy? (he just comes running over to me) Plagiarized from: where's the trophy? (he just comes running over to me) (by riceenthusiast)

Fic: and i'll hold onto you Plagiarized from: Tender Loving Care (by as_with_a_sunbeam)

Fic: bedroom eyes like a remedy Plagiarized from: Keep Me Afloat (by Atalia_Gold)

Fic: i'm sinking, our fingers entwined Plagiarized from: Kisses to Make it Better (by steviewashere)

Fic: the way you hold me (is actually what's holy) Plagiarized from: scars. (by letthesongtakeflight)

Fic: call it what you want to Plagiarized from: care & feeding (by glim)

Fic: my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand Plagiarized from: Their Fingers Run With Blood (by FoundInTheStars)

Fic: cause saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts Plagiarized from: Shrill Wails That Steal The Air (by Metalbvcky)

Fic: wherever you stray, i follow Plagiarized from: the fate of a con (by shrewritesall)

Fic: fall into me and i'll catch you, darlin' Plagiarized from: Safety II (by zozofia)

Fic: i hear the sound of my own voice, asking you to stay Plagiarized from: ['til you sizzle, what a lovely way to burn] (by tacos_are_tasty)

Fic: all's well that ends well to end up with you Plagiarized from: would it be enough if i could never give you peace? (by playthetyrants)

Fic: this most assuredly counts Plagiarized from: Must've Done Something Right (by fides_rationem)

Fic: something to rely on Plagiarized from: Unguarded (by trufflemores)

Fic: your string of lights is still bright to me Plagiarized from: your string of lights is still bright to me (by blueberriesandcream)

Fandom: Top Gun: Maverick

Fic: bigger than the whole sky Plagiarized from: Bigger Than The Whole Sky (by catrasredemption)

Fic: look at this godforsaken mess that you made me Plagiarized from: for you i would ruin myself (by mraudersmoon)

Fic: i love you, i adore you (i lay my life before you) Plagiarized from: All That I've Been Yearning For (by Sokkas_First_Fangirl)

Fic: starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night Plagiarized from: Of Speeches and Sofas (by as_with_a_sunbeam)

Fic: i don't wanna lose you (that's the kinda heartbreak time can never mend) Plagiarized from: would it be enough if i could never give you peace? (by playthetyrants) - yes, same fic copied again

Fic: you can see it with the lights out Plagiarized from: Tender Loving Care (by as_with_a_sunbeam) - yes, AGAIN

Fic: and i'll forget you (but i'll never forgive) Plagiarized from: Hold Me Closer (by sweet_symphony0)

Fic: you can hear it in the silence (you can feel it on the way home) Plagiarized from: I'd search you in all of my lives (by sunflwrs)

Fic: and my destination (makes it worth the while) Plagiarized from: Pushing Through The Darkness (Still Another Mile) (by Sokkas_First_Fangirl)

Fic: give up on you, my dear (i will never) Plagiarized from: I Lay My Life Before You (by Sokkas_First_Fangirl)

Fic: as if you were a mythical thing Plagiarized from: The Ghost in the Attic (by as_with_a_sunbeam)

Fic: you drew stars (around my scars) Plagiarized from: Value (by trufflemores)

Fic: in my life (i love you more) Plagiarized from: Whistle, I'll Be There (by lovetheblazer)

Fandom: The Beatles RPF

Fic: can't ignore the rest of the world; can you stay and make me feel better? Plagiarized from: love me, always (by darkdisrepair)

Self-copied fics posted by the same person in different fandoms (possibly copied from the same sources)

Benthan fandom: sit with you in the trenches Top Gun fandom: you're all i want, i'll never let you go

Benthan fandom: i vowed i would always be yours Top Gun fandom: standing at the crossroads, no desire to run

Benthan fandom: can we always be this close? Top Gun fandom: in all your pain (i will carry you, always)

Benthan fandom: i know you're scared (and your pain is imperfect) Glee fandom: i'll never let you go The Beatles fandom: my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

[maikissed]

the day I saw your eyes, I stayed

jude bellingham x reader

warnings: none, just a tad of sexual tension, yeah

note: there is going to be part 2! I planned to write the whole story in one shot but I gotta go to sleep now and was too excited about this rubbish (jk, I love it tbh). And he scored today, whoop sorry for any mistakes!!!!

Rose got herself a new boyfriend. The name brought up in presence of your girlfriends caused much of a fuss. It was a grand revelation and as much as it surprised you as well, you did not share the enthusiasm as every other girl in the room. Not because you felt envious, jealousy was never your thing, you rather grew worrisome. The excitation over the fact that Rose secured herself a football player of such range – famous, a hot topic, high quality player, one of the most valuable characters in the England national team, highly payed, and to add to that: uncommonly gorgeous - absolutely knocked your friends of their feet, but to you… To you it was a sign of massive trouble. People like him belonged to a world where individuals had their impeccable ways to draw from their fame, money and phenomenon as much as they could, despite the morality or ethics. Rose always mingled among various groups of people, there were musicians, actors, even politicians. She was a lovely girl, very pretty, her modelling career developed quickly, spectacularly. But she still haven’t made her name the way she aimed to. You suspected the boys she chose were always an occasion, a special addition to make her reach for more, to be seen, to feel special and unique. She was determined, regardless of the consequences, regardless of the fact how many times she has suffered and burned herself even almost to the point of absolute destruction. It felt awful to even reminisce it. But that’s how it’s been so far, it was the path she has chosen. Although this time this whole situation felt much different, there was a spark in her eyes that could tell you many things. But you would define it this way: she intended to hold onto him, she wanted to keep him. He seemed like the greatest prize. But who would have thought that the massive trouble you feared from the very start would be your burden to deal with?

Jude Bellingham.

Girls were over the moon when the time has come and Rose invited you all to join them in a private lounge in one of the most exclusive clubs in London. You scoffed when you heard the name of the place, you remembered the time when you and Lucia tried to sneak in there, but the bodyguard was too smart to fall for your theatrics. Only precisely selected people could party there. It was one of those grand and fancy places. So you found yourself invited, at last. Yet you weren’t very thrilled about the way you were about to spend your Saturday night. It turned out you would be the only single person there.

And him? The man, the hot topic himself? He was taller than you envisioned, maybe the hair added to that? His smile truly was bright, he was well built, broad shoulders, but not too muscular, well, he was an athlete. The Brummie dialect annoyed you at the start, but the itch seemed to cease as you payed attention to the tone of his voice, there was nothing particular about it, it was just right, good, not screechy, not too deep just… pleasant. He was an amiable guy, you thought to yourself, polite and friendly at the first contact. You realised you were a careful observer until he turned to you to greet. Now you were very much noticed, now you had to act as a part of the events, not a shadow and analyser. And situation very much changed. Time seemed to slow down so suddenly, you found yourself in the strangest state of unconsciousness, like a scene in a movie where the background blurs and any noise is muted, when the spectator is deprived of any other senses despite the sight to notice those specific details that are supposed to made him feel the sublimity of a given moment. And the source of it was in his eyes, you realised, and the way he smiled softly as he extended his hand to you. It was strange and disturbing, his eyes seemed to be the darkest ones you’ve ever seen, but you most definitely had seen eyes like his before, no doubt about it. You took a breath, blinked, fought to not fall into this depth that almost sucked you in. He was smiling, now something slightly impudent about it, and you realised he truly was stunningly gorgeous. Strangely, insanely attractive. Just a simple look into his eyes made you stumble into a realisation that there was something different about this man. And it frightened you.

You did say your name back, did you?

As the night went by you decided to stay in your attentive observer state. You felt safer there, although decency inquired you to engage in few conversations with your friends. Tonight you felt tense, carefully sipping the wine, you tried with all your might to relax and stop examining so intensely the boy seated opposite you. Few new conclusions you came into in the last hour was the fact that he was a great interlocutor, he listened as well, and his smile was one of the most pleasurable things you’ve experienced in your lifetime. You just couldn’t take your eyes off. And another conclusion was that him and Rose was nothing of exclusive. No lingering stares, no secret touches. After all, they met quite recently. She wondered if she bagged him already. And if so, would they all be there if she did? He did not seem like the kind to make such effort to get himself a girl he was not seriously interested in. Rose was not the type to act restrained and unavailable. She crawled into many beds the first night she met someone. You kept yourself far from casual hook-ups and one night stands, just a simple thought of it made you uncomfortable. But for her it was a common thing, if you could use such words. So, was he really interested?

After a while all of your friends decided to use the night to the fullest as the alcohol finally kicked in, rushing to the dancefloor and you truly couldn’t find the spur to join them. You were seriously thinking about taking a French leave. And you almost succeeded.

“You’re not enjoying yourself much, are you?” a well known voice reached you from behind and you turned your head in its direction.

Something in your gut jumped as you spotted Jude. He took a seat beside you. You smiled as his scent reached you, fresh, citrus with addition of something stronger and… alluring.

“I’ve had a long day. Tired, I guess” a safe and simple answer.

His full attention was on you, no one here to accompany you. It begun to feel overwhelming because you did not expected his gaze to be so intense.

“I know the feeling. Find myself in a constant state of weariness lately, cannot get rid of it” he played with his glass, the liquid looked like orange juice.

“Well, you live quite the fast and exciting life” you noted, observing as the corner of his mouth rose a little at your comment.

“Where are you from?” he asked, not continuing the subject you just raised.

“Here, London, born and raised” you smiled again before lowering your gaze, finding the glass of wine interesting “Became as gloomy and morose as this city”

“I wouldn’t describe you with such words” his voice was soft when he said it, something itched in you to ask what words would he use to describe you, but raising the glass of wine up to your lips saved you from that. You hoped you didn’t blush.

“My grandmother always says that I’m an old soul. Emphasizes it like it’s a virtue” you continued.

“That’s a very interesting thing to say about someone. Mine says that I’m a lovely companion although I use way too foul language and it’s scandalous” he frowned funnily and you laughed at the information, he quickly accompanied you.

“Well, I haven’t yet got the occasion to hear some of that tonight”

“I’m trying to be a gentleman” he murmured “It would be improper to throw fucks around in presence of a pretty girl” a lively glint in his eyes as he looked at you.

Now you definitely blushed.

The conversation flowed from there, and you realised you grew more comfortable with each passing minute. He truly was a great listener, and a good companion. He made you laugh many times and suddenly you stopped regretting leaving your apartment for this night out. He was not daft or arrogant as you might have presumed before you met him, being smothered by all this money he had and a name he’s gotten himself at such young age. The complexity of his persona could be spotted in his eyes as you payed closer attention, but it was his words and the way he picked on any subject you brought, that expressed his maturity and wide perception. You haven’t met a guy like him in a long time.

“What are you guys doing here? Come on down, join us!” it was Charlotte’s comment as she came to the longue after a while.

You haven’t even realised how much time has passed and how much alcohol you have already poured into yourself. You only picked on that as you stood up, dizziness hit you like lighting but you composed yourself, agreeing on Charlotte’s and then Jude’s proposition. As soon as you joined the dancefloor, Rose spotted you both, throwing her hands around Jude, guiding him deeper, keeping him closer. He kept his eyes on you as she did it and a strange feeling stroked you as you kept his gaze. Charlotte grabbed you by your hands, singing the words out loud, the song was energetic and lively, you laughed at your friend. Others from your pack nowhere to be seen. So you loosened up and tried to keep up with your drunk companion. The dancefloor became quite chaotic, people jumping around, your eyes landing on Jude from time to time and to your surprise he was looking your way as well. There was a lean and tall guy that jumped in front of Jude, almost stumbling over him and you laugh at that, seeing that Jude laughed as well, his attention still on you. You wanted to share this fun with him directly, but it was forbidden since the realest fact of this night was that he was not yours to have.

“I need to pee!” Rose shouted near you and you turned, watching as she grabbed Charlotte with her, leaving the dancefloor.

You stopped and decided to follow your friends but felt someone’s presence behind your back before you made any move.

“Now I can tell you’re enjoying your night!” Jude called next to your ear, this way you could hear him well despite the thumping music.

When you turned around you noticed how close he stood, you had to raise your head to look at his face, his big and dark eyes gazing down at you, full lips twisted into an amused smile. You returned the smile.

“You are a terrible dancer” you shouted back to him, your voice filled with laughter.

“That’s a fact” he nodded “But you’re quite good, show me more” he reached for your hips to draw you deeper into the dancefloor and you laughed out, throwing your head back as he lead you with him.

You have not payed much attention to the closeness of your bodies as long as the songs were quick and your movements kept rapidly changing with the rhythm. Still, you haven’t realised the sound slowing, a more sensuous song sounded from the loudspeaker, you knew this one. If the reason could break through the basses that reached your ears, you would finish your dance right this moment. But the fact was that it did not. So you continued, with your hands placed at his shoulders you begun to move your hips. Your eyes closed as you turned around, your back to him, he was not touching you, not directly. He took your hands in his and you started to raise it up in the air, you smiled when you felt his breath on your ear. Your joined hands stayed up longer, his on the other hand slowly trailed lower and lower, down your forearms, then your shoulders, then down your body. His touch sure yet lenient and soft at the same time electrified you. Carefully and attentively, making sure to not touch your breasts on the way, he rested them on your hips, feeling the rhythm you kept on. You were not sure if it was him that pressed on you or was it purely your movement, but your back met with his front fully, and a sharp intake of breath stuck in  your throat at the realisation. His hands still rested on your hips, making your body move with no pause. You were close, too close, you could already feel too much. But you found it difficult to part with him, to stop it and call it improper. Your eyes wide open but blind. You only focused on the sense of touch, feeling him moving with you. Your hands fell down to reach his head and then levelled on his nape and you kept them there. Feeling something growing inside of you, along with a rough shot of adrenaline that made your heart beat strongly against ribs. Once more his breath landed on your ear, close, closer. A strange sensation squeezed your throat and you realised you swallowed back a moan. It was like a rough strike, you turned around to face him, with intention to take a step back, but he held you closer, pressing his palm against your back. You sighed and met his eyes. Dark, darker. You wanted to run.

“Thank you for the dance” you said innocently and he watched the movement of your lips as you spoke.

A daring smirk appeared on his mouth and you shuddered. Were you trapped now?

You had to run. So you did.

[ooooo-mcyt]

Because Double Life has been so mythologized in fandom over the past few years and a lot of us don't fully remember all the details of what actually happened between Scott and Pearl, or didn't watch their povs and only know about what happened through incomplete/vague fandom osmosis, I spent all of today binge watching both Scott and Pearl's Double Life seasons and took notes on the full history of the relationship between Scott and Pearl in Double Life and all of their major interactions.

This is going to be a really really long post since I'm summarizing almost every relevant mention of or interaction between these two in either perspective for the entire series, so I'm leaving all of this under a cut:

I will be trying to keep my points in chronological order, though it's sometimes hard to sync up events between two povs, so forgive me if anything is slightly out of order.

EPISODE ONE:

For the early parts of both of their episodes, neither Scott nor Pearl really engage with the idea of their soulmates much at all. they both express wanting to stay safe for their soulmate's sake and apologize when they take damage, but generally don't seem to have soulmates on the mind all that much, both doing their own thing. Pearl largely continues this for her entire episode up until actually finding Scott at the end, so my episode one notes are mostly Scott notes with occasional supplemental notes to add context from Pearl's pov for what's going on with her at any given time.

Scott's episode, Pearl takes 2.5 hearts of damage, which seems to freak Scott out a bit. "Oh god, we just took three hearts of damage, please stop that! I don't know what you're doing, but undo it". This is seemingly the first time Pearl takes significant damage, and Scott doesn't seem to feel especially comfortable with it.

Scott meets up with Cleo for the first time, they almost immediately piece together that Martyn and Pearl have to be their soulmates because every other pairing had already found each other.

Pearl and Martyn get the achievement for going into the deep dark in chat. Scott expresses concern over their soulmates recklessness, and Cleo suggests "We should form an alliance against them". They don't immediately commit to the idea and partially treat it as a joke. (supplemental note: that pearl and martyn didn't actually go into the deep dark, and that pearl specifically refuses because she doesn't want to get her soulmate killed, though obviously scott and cleo had no way of knowing this)

After leaving a conversation with Jimmy and Tango, Scott says; "Honestly, Cleo, do we need soulmates? What if we just become soulmates? We just go against the grain? Everyone else is with their soulmates and we're just like 'no, this is us'?" which is approached much less jokingly.

Scott and Cleo start planning to build homes together around a ravine, making plans as a duo and largely not thinking about their soulmates or incorporating them into the plans.

Pearl takes very minimal damage. Scott voices this, "Oww, whoever my soulmate is just took damage", to which Cleo responds "Of course they did" with a note of bitterness that Scott doesn't seem to disagree with. Shortly after Martyn takes damage too, which concerns Scott briefly before he remembers their soulmate. None of this is major, but it establishes a precedent that, at this point, their soulmates are solidly established a mostly faceless source of anxiety and frustration in their minds.

Scott turns to the camera and says; "Guys, sometimes you need to take life into your own hands, whether that's through work, or friends, or love, and you find your own soulmates, and you make them friends, and you live in really cute houses across from each other"

Cleo rushes to Scott and yells that Martyn and Pearl have gone into the nether. Scott replies "It's only a matter of time before one of us explodes", and Cleo adds an outraged "How dare they?!". Scott and Cleo perceive this as incredibly reckless and it seems to further their view of their soulmates as a source of anxiety and frustration rather than teammates, as well as the idea that their soulmates don't care about them enough to stay out of danger.

Martyn and Pearl are taking fire damage. Scott yells "Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god", immediately running to Cleo and throwing them food. "What the heck?!" Cleo laughs with immense anxiety, to which Scott, with mild frustration, notes "They've gone into a fortress for some reason", and Cleo replies with another mildly bitter "Of course they have". (supplemental note: entering the fortress was Martyn's idea, and Pearl repeatedly expressed immense doubts about it; "I don't like any part of this, this is why I didn't want to come in here", though she does still go along with going through the fortress in the end, even knowing- as she comments on- how much it was probably panicking her soulmate.)

Pearl starts taking fire damage, taking half of their health, and then takes another heart or two of damage a few moments later. This upsets Scott: "Ow, ow, ow, ow- whoevers taking fire damage please stop- ow, ow- stop it!"

Scott and Cleo talk to Jimmy, who is weirdly aggressive about them living together despite not being real soulmates. Cleo and Scott inform Jimmy that their soulmates are in the nether and that they don't know who is who yet, before Scott adds; "We have been on the surface the entire time, we have met every single other person, we have put ourselves out there, we made ourselves vulnerable, AND THEY DIDN'T SHOW UP!"

All four members of the Divorce Quartet finally meet up. Martyn tries to put on a game to find their soulmates, but they find out who their soulmates are very quickly. Then the Argument starts. Scott begins with, "This is what happens when you two don't come onto the surface or look for anyone, we meet every other person who's soulbound and we kinda put the dots together. So you know what? Me and Cleo are actually soulbound to ourselves, we've decided. We put ourselves out there all day, we were ready to meet people, we were vulnerable, and then you two were just off together in the nether doing your own thing. And you kept BURNING!". Pearl counters that Scott has taken damage too, but Scott points out that he hasn't taken nearly as much as Pearl, which she concedes, saying "I know". Pearl doesn't seem to want to fight, asking "What are we doing?", but Cleo and Martyn are getting Violent in their own argument and Cleo decides she and Scott are going to leave, which Scott agrees to. Pearl is upset, asking "Are we not going to gaslight gatekeep girlboss?" but Scott expresses feeling like Pearl abandoned him. Pearl blames Martyn, explaining that "I was just following Martyn", but Martyn announces that Pearl wasn't unreluctant and Cleo snaps that Pearl knew her soulmate was out there and chose to go with Martyn to the nether anyways. Scott and Cleo storm off.

After Scott leaves, Pearl seems devastated. "Everybody else is with their soulbounds and ours think we've abandoned them or something…I feel like my heart's kinda broken, I'm not gonna lie". And then Martyn, to add insult to injury, tells Pearl "I blame you for this" and leaves her too. "Well. Okay. That's..that's my season." Pearl says, sounding miserable, before closing her episode.

EPISODE TWO:

Pearl opens the episode by talking again about how upset she is about the previous episode. "My heart is broken, I got broken up with like two or three times last session, I don't remember, but you know what? I'm a little bit battered, I'm a little bit torn, and I'm a little bit sad."

Scott and Cleo decide to axe crit each other to scare their soulmates. The idea was that as long as their health is high they'll regen quickly enough that it won't do any real harm but that it will scare their soulmates, which Cleo and Scott see as equivalent to what Martyn and Pearl put them through in the previous episode. (obviously pearl has no idea this was done on purpose and from her perspective brushes it off as scott accidentally taking damage)

Pearl seems to have changed her mind about accepting any blame for taking damage in the previous episode, saying "I was good the whole time, we got pork chops, I was healing, I even apologized for taking damage! I don't feel so bad anymore! I think today I'm not going to be as careful!". While she doesn't outright say it, Pearl seems to be implying that she plans to take damage to punish Scott, which is confirmed for me as Pearl zooms in on herself and says in a purposefully 'creepy' tone "This is Pearl now. You've done this, Scott. This is what happens when you don't want to be on the side of me! You know I looked after you last season, you know I could do it this season, but you didn't trust in me! And now this is the state that we're in". So Scott and Pearl have both independently, at almost the exact same time, without being aware the other is also doing this, decided to hurt themselves on purpose to hurt the other.

Scar asks Pearl for a bucket, and she happily agrees to give it to him for free "If you help me mess with Scott". Shortly after, they use a bucket of powdered snow to "torture" their soulmates. Pearl "tortures" (as she describes it) Scott for a little bit over a minute before Scott, on his end, has the realization that this is intentional damage and throws himself out of a tree, taking a chunk of damage to scare Pearl so she'll stop hurting him. This successfully freaks Pearl out and she stops when Scott takes significant enough damage, since she doesn't want them to die, but she fully plans to do it again later on.

BigB tries to 'console' Scott by 'reassuring' him that there's "still hope" for Scott to be with his real soulmate, to which Scott snaps "I like Cleo. I don't need a soulmate, I pick my own destiny!"

Cleo axe crits Scott again to get back at Pearl for the powdered snow.

Scar comes by to offer Scott some powdered snow, so Scott stands in it, knowing Pearl did the same thing earlier. Once Pearl figures out what's going on, she decides to stand in powdered snow again as well, getting revenge for his revenge. When Scott sees Pearl in the treeline, he goes to talk to her. Pearl yells at Scott that her heart is broken because he abandoned her, to which Scott bitterly replies that "Now you know how it feels!", though Scott does stop, calm down, and give her his condolences when he finds out Pearl's dog died. They then proceed to have a pretty calm conversation for a minute until they start arguing over how much damage the other had been taking that episode, at which point they do both admit to hurting the other on purpose. Pearl threatens to stand in powdered snow again, and Scott challenges her to put it down, so they both stand in powdered snow together. They then start talking about the previous session. Scott reminds Pearl how much fire damage she took, but Pearl insists she had it handled and that Scott should have trusted her, to which Scott points out that he didn't even know which of Pearl and Martyn were his soulmate until the end of the episode, so he couldn't have known to just 'trust her'. Pearl snaps that Scott could have trusted her AFTER finding out they were soulmates, but Scott says that he and Cleo already bonded and formed a partnership, to which Pearl points out Scott can form bonds with more people, and Scott replies surprisingly positively, saying it'll take time instead of shutting that down outright.

Scott accidentally misspeaks when referring to his and Cleo's base, accidentally calling it his and Pearl's base instead, to which Pearl decides to move in since Scott 'said' it was hers. Pearl runs across the clearing to Scott's base while Scott objects. Scott tells Cleo that Pearl's forcibly trying to move in, and Cleo threatens Pearl. Pearl replies that "Scott said it's our base, so he's already kicked you out" and refuses to listen when Scott insists he obviously meant it's his base with Cleo. Scott calls Pearl a crazy ex and Pearl snaps that she never wanted to be Scott's soulmate, to which Scott asks why she's making a big deal of it, and Pearl responds that it's fun to bother him. Pearl then leaves and dejectedly comments on how they don't want her. Ren says he has something for Pearl, but Pearl mistakes the message as being from Scott, so she heads back to Scott's base. Scott calls her obsessive and points her in the direction of Ren's base instead, then proceeding to go vent to Joel, Scar, and Martyn about everything that had happened with Pearl in the episode.

Pearl stands in powdered snow again while explaining to Ren that she likes to hurt Scott sometimes. Pearl also tells Ren she'd happily kill Scott if Ren wants her to if Ren gives her a dog first.

After getting Tilly back and recovering from her earlier grief, Pearl decides that she was overreacting and "got a little bit crazy", and that she needs to calm down. Pearl expresses having mixed feelings. First she says Scott deserved it, so she "doesn't feel bad", but then she quickly acknowledges that okay, yeah, she does feel bad, and that she feels like she might have been lashing out because of both exhaustion and the grief of losing Tilly.

Joel comes to Pearl and says he's heard she's been intimating Scott, to which Pearl immediately confirms that she has been intimidating Scott and stands in powdered snow to illustrate.

EPISODE THREE:

Pearl makes a side comment about how she "Maybe wants to see Scott die"

Scott and Cleo do their daily axe crits

While in the deep dark risking their lives, Pearl acknowledges that she doesn't want to kill Scott, though she amends that to "Well, I do, but I don't". Multiple times while in the deep dark, Pearl mentions how she's sure she's scaring Scott, and always makes a point of saying she isn't sorry, but then once she makes it out a live she implies she kept herself safe for Scott's sake to some degree; "You know I care enough, Scott!"

Scott and Cleo run into Pearl. They let Pearl know that Scar and Grian were framing her by claiming Pearl is the one with the sugarcane on the server and are very amicable, though Pearl does make a jab about how Cleo and Scott don't want to be her friends.

Scott is attacked by mobs at night and Pearl finds him. She immediately makes a jab about how he's taking too much damage and asks if he doesn't value their lives. Scott does acknowledge that he should have waited until day, and Pearl helps protect him from the mobs. Scott comments that Pearl has one up on Martyn as far as being a good soulmate goes because Martyn pushed Cleo off a cliff, and Pearl laughs that at least she's trying to protect her soulmate. Pearl jokingly threatens to kill Cleo, Scott tells her she has issues, and Pearl points out that, of course she has issues, everyone's abandoned her. Scott pauses the conversation specifically to tell Pearl that her tower is so pretty, which surprises Pearl, but Scott jokes that he can be nice when she's not unhinged. Pearl replies that it doesn't matter if she's not unhinged, she tried being nice to Ren and BigB and they still cast her out. Overall the interaction was largely amicable despite the occasional jabs.

Pearl decides she's going to live on the bridge between Scott and Cleo's bases. They come and object to Pearl building on their bridge, but Pearl just tauntingly asks if she's "getting between them". Scott takes the disc from Pearl's jukebox and Pearl attacks Scott, hitting him multiple times with her axe and saying she doesn't care if they die, at which point Cleo steps in and threatens Tilly. Pearl pushes Scott off the bridge and then she's pushed off after him. Cleo burns Pearl's bridge house while Pearl's away so Pearl gives up on building there.

EPISODE FOUR:

Cleo lets Scott know that they gave Pearl permission to move in and live on their bridge, which Scott seems happy enough to agree with, suggesting Pearl could maybe build something hanging under the bridge. They also don't do the axe crit this episode.

When Scar makes a comment about his soulmate baking bread for someone else, Pearl sympathizes, saying her soulmate is doing the same thing.

Pearl signs up for Grian's powdered snow game and, when the prize pool turned out to be awful, Pearl comments that "The real reward here is torturing Scott, I'm happy with that". While competing against Cleo to see who can stay in the powdered snow the longest, Pearl announces "Come on Scott, I believe in you!" before backtracking and saying she doesn't actually believe in him (pearl does this often where she will instinctively speak positively of scott- worrying about their shared health for his sake, expressing regret for hurting him, saying she believes in him- and then backtrack). Meanwhile Scott and Martyn are back at Scott's base and, when they both start taking damage, immediately decide to also stand in powdered snow together because they think Pearl and Cleo are doing it to hurt them and want to hurt them back. So the entire divorce quartet were just standing in powdered snow at the same time.

Pearl walks right up to Scott, towers up a bunch, and jumps off the ledge, bringing them down to half a heart. Scott tried to put down water but was too slow. Pearl then encouraged Grian to hook her with his fishing rod and pull her up the tower with it, causing Scott to panic, repeatedly yelling "I hate it here I hate it here I hate it here" and telling Grian not to do it. The first time Grian pulls Pearl up, she loses four hearts. Scott yells at Grian to stop again and threatens to shoot him, but eventually gives up and says he's accepted his fate and won't watch anymore, to which Pearl gleefully replies "You're gonna die, Scott!". They hook people in a chain, and this time Pearl loses seven hearts on the fall. Pearl incorrectly tells the others she only lost five hearts, and while Scott loudly corrects her, the others don't seem to pay that much mind and Etho joins the chain. Pearl goes down to three and a half hearts and Joel and Etho both die, at which point Pearl steals Joel and Etho's stuff and refuses to give them back. She tries to give it back last minute, but Joel and Etho kill her, leading to Pearl and Scott's first death.

Immediately after they both die and Scott goes back to his home, Pearl stands in some powdered snow, and then has Bdubs hit her with an axe repeatedly, two normal hits and one crit. Scott is very upset by this and comments that when he gets to red he'll just off himself.

EPISODE FIVE:

Scott and Cleo do their axe crits.

Upon finding out a red alliance is forming, Scott and Cleo dejectedly decide they have to team up with Martyn and Pearl. Scott, Cleo, and Martyn head to Pearl's tower, and as soon as they get to the top, Scott compliments Pearl on how pretty it is, and then they suggest a team up to deal with the newly formed red army. Pearl is standoffish initially, instinctively reading insults into Martyn's words and questioning how she can trust them, especially Martyn (who she saw sneaking around her base earlier). Martyn and Pearl start to argue about her base setup, but Scott cuts in to praise how Pearl's base is the most defensible location on the server which seems to ease tensions. The four fall into an amicable enough teamup and start planning together. They largely work seamlessly together, though there is the occasional jab from Pearl specifically, who makes a point of putting audible air quotes around calling the others her 'friends' and telling Ren "You can shoot the other guys, I don't mind". But other than the occasional jab, there are a lot of fun team shenanigans and they're very functional.

Pearl splits up from the group to go back to her tower, and as soon as she gets home, Scar and Grian (currently the most wanted people on the server) invite themselves in and seek protection from her. Scar offers Pearl a cactus and she stands on it, taking damage and freaking Scott off, who is briefly afraid they'll die until Pearl stops. Scott makes his way back to the tower and is immediately upset; "Are you harboring refugees, Pearl?! We can't have them here! You're putting a target on our back!". Grian keeps standing in the windows even with the reds nearby and Scott gets incredibly anxious about it, yelling at Grian to stay away from the windows, and scolding Pearl to put her armor on, seeming very on edge. The two bicker a bit, especially when Scott finds out the reason they took so much damage is because she was purposefully standing on cactus. They get back to being a relatively functional team once Grian and Scar leave, though.

Scott and Pearl breed their dogs together and it's a very amicable interaction once again. Pearl coos over the puppy and then they make some plans together without arguing. Pearl considers pushing Scott off the tower (harmlessly) as a joke but doesn't as Scott heads out again.

Scott and Pearl both attend the 'funeral' for Jimmy and Tango and while they don't have many direct interactions, they do have a very friendly group interaction, laughing together with the rest of the group without any real tension or jabs. Scott also once again comments on how good Pearl's base is, pointing out that she's the only one on the server who didn't make a flammable base.

When Cleo asks if they should care about the Relation Ship burning down, Pearl replies "Of course not, that's not in our alliance". Scott and Cleo both take note of this, and Scott asks "What is our alliance?" with Cleo almost simultaneously asking "we're an alliance now?". Pearl immediately responds defensively, interpreting their reactions as rejection. She immediately replies that they're not an alliance and adds "Okay I guess I don't have any friends then! Bye!" and walking away. Scott and Cleo follow her and say they do have an alliance but they just also thought Pearl had other alliances, at which point she insists she does have other alliances and decides to leave Scott and Cleo as they go to deal with their burning bases.

Scott and Cleo come by Pearl's tower again later shortly and immediately help her fix up the damage done by a trap that had detonated inside, and they have another mostly friendly casual conversation catching each other up on what happened while they were split up before the episode ends.

EPISODE SIX:

In the intro of Pearl's episode, she seems surprised but not necessarily unhappy with her current alliance; "Last episode we left off in this tower right here in an alliance with Martyn, Cleo, and Scott- hm. Yes, that happened."

Scott and Pearl have a cute little interaction where Scott bursts into the tower and cheerfully yells "Boo!" to which Pearl exaggeratedly replies "So scary! Oh my gosh!" to humor him and they both giggle. Scott also briefly coos over how cute Tilly and her babies are, which Pearl is more than happy to join in with. Cleo asks whose gonna die first and Pearl immediately replies "I'm gonna die first, sorry, Scott, no Cleo death" and Scott made a comment about how that would be two of their lives Pearl loses. Pearl responds with an indignant "Hey!" and points out that Scott could die first, but Scott replies that he's not the one who aggravates people, and Pearl grumbles "Yeah, whatever". Despite the brief jabs, Pearl doesn't seem too offended, and they're all getting along rather well and they make a plan to snoop into the red army's business.

During the red life meeting, Pearl tells the red names that they can kill Scott and she'll be fine with it as long as they don't do it through her, though Pearl isn't forthcoming at all when pressed for information about where Scott actually is and doesn't agree to lead him into a trap when asked.

Once the group meets back up they're very friendly again. They all laugh together as they recount what happened while they were split up, and then the red names attack. Joel yells at Scott for burning the ship, but Pearl actually jumps in to shoot back with "Rightfully so from the sound of it! Well deserved! Go Scott!". Scott and Pearl run toward the box and giggle about how it looks, and then Scott stops and calls for Pearl when she lags behind. Scott is surprisingly focused on where Pearl is and whether she's in active danger, making sure she has resources and knows the plan and pouring water for her to climb, waiting for her to get up before moving on.

Pearl asks Scott if he has a secret base, and he tells her yes honestly without hesitation. They agree to go to the bunker recoup for the time being. Pearl accidentally pushes Scott down the ladder but instead of it causing an argument Scott just laughs and tells Pearl about how he caught himself on the ladder. Scott feeds Pearl's dogs to heal them once they're settled in the bunker, and Pearl is thrilled.

There's a surprising lack of arguments. They come up with a plan easily and don't bicker about it. At one point Pearl accidentally loudly blows a goat horn while they're trying to be sneaky and instead of anyone scolding her or being bitter about it Scott just urgently tells her to come over to where the rest of them were. Pearl sets off a shrieker while they're in the deep dark and while Scott snaps "Pearl!" it sounds playful and they both laugh before going back to work.

Scott and Pearl separate from the others and end up having a Talk. Pearl opens with "You know what Scott? It might have been hard to forgive you at the start of the season for just abandoning me like that, but you know what? You're a pretty good partner, you know?" to which Scott replies, "…Thank you…I mean, we tested it last time and it worked well, it was just, you hurt my feelings when you went away with Martyn and then me and Cleo looked for you for ages and then we couldn't find you and I was sad", and Pearl counters with "How about the reverse? You ran off with Cleo from my perspective, we both just paired up with whoever was nearby." and Scott replies that "Well we ran into everyone else, we were actually looking for our soulmates." at which point they run back into Cleo and Martyn and the conversation dies before they can really sort through things (also there's something to be said for the conversation starting with accusatory language that's not conducive to a productive talk, but i digress). They at least managed to talk about it calmly without blowing up.

Martyn and Scott are being silly and Pearl and Cleo are giggling. Pearl playfully bemoans "This is who we're teamed with". Notable both for the mundanely positive interaction and for the casual confident acknowledgement of them as a team.

Pearl wants to go check her tower to see what's left in it after the red names attack, and Scott actually volunteers to go with her, asking if Cleo's willing to stay with Martyn while he and Pearl check the tower. Scott and Pearl have another very successful adventure together where they don't argue at all or even make any bitter jabs, just working together well and laughing together as they mess with the red names. While chasing them Joel asks if they've made up and they both very unconvincingly reply "Noo" in a tone that is very much an implied yes. Eventually they get split up and Scott is killed. Pearl gladly declares that they're even now, and Scott doesn't complain.

Scott and Pearl head back to the bunker, at which point..Pearl points out that the other red names don't seem to like Scott much. "They weren't going after me that entire time, I just feel like..maybe I should take the bigger stance here, y'know? I mean you're a great partner and all, but.." at which point Scott realizes and immediately, deeply upset, asks "Are you gonna ditch me after this?!" and Pearl, well.."Scott, come on, look how big that group is! It's just..look, don't make me feel bad, okay? It's my time to ditch you after the first episode, think of it as karma!" which launches another argument about the first episode, about how from Scott's perspective, Pearl was the one who abandoned him first by not being there for the first episode, so from his perspective, this is all full circle! Pearl points out that they did try to find their soulmate with the little minigame, but Scott shoots back that that was AFTER everyone else was already "loved and doved up" and HAD their soulmates! Pearl switches to arguing that Martyn would have died without her- and Cleo too for that matter!- so really Scott should be appreciative of her for saving Cleo. Scott just completely stops and dully replies "Right." before adding "Lets get out of here.", though Pearl immediately reminds him there's no "lets" about it. As they leave, Pearl switches to arguing that she's trying to keep them BOTH alive in a way by joining the bigger group and asks why Scott would go back to the yellows, to which Scott replies, sounding a bit pained, that he can't betray Cleo. Pearl tells Scott to just think of Pearl joining the bigger group as a "strategic advantage" and Scott is silent for a LONG moment before very quietly agreeing. Before they split up, Scott says "The moments we got to spend together were nice while they lasted", and Pearl returns the sentiment, and then they come up with "Tilly death do us part" as their goodbye for the scene.

After Pearl's alliance with the red group fell through, Pearl went back to Scott, Martyn, and Cleo and is accepted back immediately, the group going right back to planning together like nothing happened, and they hunt Impulse and Bdubs together without much more discussion.

And then the final scene in the season. Scott and Pearl are the final two left. "I honestly didn't have a lot of faith in us, but I had faith in me and Tilly." Pearl says. "Pearl, you deserve this more, Scott replies, and light a tnt under his feet. "Tilly death do us part," Scott says, and Pearl yells his name as they blow up. "Scott! Oh no- what- Scott?! Did he just sacrifice himself?! For me?!? We were the last ones left..Scott..I guess I forgive you after all".

[raayllum]

She Must Pay the Price, or A Drop of Mercy :: A Rayla and Leola Meta

Quick:

You're a young elven girl, and you show mercy and compassion to a human that you definitely weren't supposed to. When it's found out, you're punished, with elves even calling for your execution (6x09, book 1 novelization). Your father does what he can, but there's only so much. You're put on trial. You're found guilty regardless of intent, and only by association. You die for this; you die for them. You're a star. A guiding light. There's even a Great Fall off a precipice (though only one of you hits the ground).

Your name is Leola, or Rayla.

You're the beginning and the end, respectively.

So let's talk about it.

Tests of Love

For years, I had wondered where Aaravos' assessment of "Those who fail tests of love are simple animals. They deserve to be motivated by fear" (2x09) came from, cause you don't drop in a line like that if it's not going somewhere. It's quite a statement and worldview, after all. Now, with Leola's trial, it seems we know.

We can see, then, perhaps that Leola's gift giving was the first test of love — are you willing to break the Natural Law, the Natural Order of things? — to help another? To show another a source of power in order to share, to be compassionate, and in Rayla's case, to be merciful (though we'll get more to that in a minute).

We also know that the love Leola had was powerful and all encompassing:

She didn't care to follow the order set in the stars. Though she was born an immortal being from the Heavens, she loved this world... and all its flaws. Her heart was warm and open.

And she befriended mortals. Animals, elves... and humans.

ETHARI: Who I love, where I love, what I love, are all specific. But to Runaan and those like your parents... love is rooted in all families, all creatures. Souls like that feel called to protect everyone as fiercely as those they hold close. (Bloodmoon Huntress)

Okay, so Leola and Rayla both have big compassionate hearts and befriend creatures from all over the place. So what? So do Callum, Ezran, Soren, and most of our other main good guy characters. Even Claudia to a degree (though she could work on not using magical creatures for spell parts).

Well, specifically, it's because of how they intersect currently more with anyone else on the concept of

Mercy

KOSMO: Daughter of the Moon, yours is a wondrous heart. In a moment of mercy, you sent ripples out into the ocean of time. Ripples that have not yet stilled. (6x05)

Rayla sparing Marcos, as noted in multiple interviews by the creators and by myself in previous metas, is ultimately the inciting incident / lynchpin of the entire series. Without it, there would've been no soulfang proposal or Ez running away to find the egg or any of the number of other elements that had to come together to make achieving peace possible.

While we still have details to discover regarding Aaravos' Fall and development of dark magic, we know that a lack of mercy was ultimately what sent him on his path of vengeance. Leola was not shown mercy, and while it seems there were already "flaws" for an imperfect world, things were (probably) better than they currently are in Xadia in a variety of ways. Then, to kick off the entire Saga, we have Rayla sparing Marcos in a soundtrack literally titled "Mercy" and have Kosmo, seasons and seasons later, spell out directly what a big deal this was for well, the ocean of time.

None of this is to say Rayla can't act out of revenge — she did ("when I first came here, I was on a mission for revenge") and she has ("but I became so obsessed with revenge"), much like Aaravos ("he isn't doing anything out of love, he's doing it for revenge") — but that her general compassion and love for others has always been stronger than her grief or rage, and that even when she had every social and personal reason to, she was and is fundamentally unable to hurt someone innocent.

Even when she's shamed or punished for it by herself or by others. RAYLA: The human looked up at me, and I saw the fear in his eyes. RUNAAN: Of course he was afraid, but you a job to do! (1x01)

EZRAN: Yeah, but then you saw he was scared, and you knew he was a person, just like you. RAYLA: That shouldn't have mattered. I had a job to do. (1x08)

The Cosmic Council — and to a degree, the Silvergrove — say that the reasonings or motivations, the intentions, behind Leola and Rayla's actions do not and should not matter when it comes out to doling 'Justice'. So Leola faces her justice, being literally killed in the one manner that can kill a Startouch elf, and so does Rayla, being metaphorically Ghosted / 'murdered' by her community, regardless.

Neither are enough to ultimately quell their light or their love/power, however.

A Star

RAYLA: That beautiful shining star you just pointed out? We call it Leola's Last Wish. (5x02)

So both Leola and Rayla are stars in season 6, literally and metaphorically respectively. Leola's is more self-explanatory, whereas Rayla's is mostly about the role she has in Callum's life as a guiding light and star. I don't think it's a coincidence, though, that just as Rayla placed Callum on his path of being a primal mage, though, that Leola did the same for humanity. I also don't think it's a coincidence that Callum's love for Rayla restores Callum's own light and agency amid Leola giving humanity the same through light and fire.

It happened long ago, when humans had only just learned to hold fire in their hands without burning. They nurtured their precious primal flames secretly—in the dark of night, beneath shadows and shrouds—as cultivating its glow drew the eyes and ire of monsters. Eventually, for the audacity of their fire, they were hunted, and—though they looked to the stars for salvation—the stars, too, looked down upon them with disdain. Humanity had been given something it was never meant to have. (TDP shorts, Ripples)

In this way, we see the manifestation of a repeating parallel of Rayla representing Leola, a gift giver of life, magic, light, unjustly punished/killed, and Callum representing humanity, looking to the kindest brightest star for guidance, magic, restoration, and salvation if he's just given the chance to grasp it. After all, presumably, Leola's last wish would have something to do with primal magic and humanity, and who represents that better than Callum, with two arcana under his belt and possibly more on the way? With that in mind, I want to return to another quote from earlier but with a different focus on

Ripples

Daughter of the Moon, yours is a wondrous heart. In a moment of mercy, you sent ripples out into the ocean of time. Ripples that have not yet stilled.

The wisest of the humans looked upon the water. His own reflection smiled back at him, and he dared to imagine what such power would feel like in his own hands, should he be allowed to hold it. Imagine, he thought, if I were more than what I am. With a trembling hand he touched the surface of the water. Ripples spread from his fingertips. [...] I hope the stars were watching. I hope they saw it: the moment their perfect reflections turned warped and ruined, churned to chaos by the touch of a single human hand. In this, the humans taught me another lesson. And so I touch the surface of the water. I watch the ripples spread.

Water in TDP is a strange beast, symbolically speaking. There are some more straight forward motifs (reflections, "don't try to control where the river [of life] goes, there's one thing you can know and control: yourself"). For Aaravos, it's connected to deep loss but also his own sense of patience in playing and winning his game, as illustrated above. For Rayla, it's linked to shame, self-reflection, bravery, and loss. Aaravos weeps and creates a sea upon losing Leola; Rayla says goodbye to her family by the lotus pond times three.

We don't know what water represents for Leola. Not distinctly, anyway. The best we can figure though, is that by following the through line of the Rayla and Leola parallels, that the ripples Leola wanted to send out or did send out — not the distortions caused by her father and his grief — are ones that Rayla received, and then continued.

Rayla has always been a foil to Aaravos, and this hasn't changed. She is the one who set Callum on the path initially of being a mage, which put him in Aaravos' machinations as prey; she retrieved his Key; and she's the reason Callum's done dark magic, twice. At the same time, much like the moon, Rayla carries Leola's light as much as she shoulders Aaravos' dark. She literally represents light in Callum's life, helps lead him through the darkness, and him being a primal mage and it's possible growth to other humans is the best possible thing that could've ever happened to Xadia.

Sol Regem says that "no one can save" Xadia or fix what is deeply broken. The Cosmic Council said that Leola had broken the Cosmic order and had to pay the price. Rayla has repeatedly been willing to pay the price for both hers and other's actions in hopes of making things right, of sparing others' pain. Sometimes to her detriment, but—if Rayla as Callum's one Truth could fix the darkness within him, if she's the lynchpin for breaking the Cycle, for bringing back Runaan and fixing her family's souls, in opposing and presenting mercy amid the Council's lack of mercy, in the face of Xadia's violence—

Then Rayla's act of mercy in 1x01, and potentially beyond in S7 with Callum, will be what fixes Xadia.

Leola's gift of magic is what 'broke' Xadia, and her execution is what literally did so, leading to the division of the continent. She wrongly paid the price in the absence of mercy and love. Rayla is therefore her thematic successor — welcomed this time as Light and Truth — as the carrier of Mercy and Love, and she will 'fix' Xadia through her ripples and dynamics. She will mend them back together. There will, at last, be no price to pay.

Misc. Thoughts / Predictions

One thing I was always curious about going forward into future seasons was the prospect of a 'trial' or reunification of the Silvergrove. It felt like a no-brainer the Silvergrove would have to change in order to reflect Runaan's character arc, much the way we see Katolis and the Sunfire elves change to better accommodate the new, more compassionate world order. Pre-S4 a trial felt a little strange as an idea, though post-S4 the parallels it could provide to the Lucia tribunal made more sense about why include either (or both).

However, Leola's trial seemed to hammer home the almost necessity (as this is still a prediction, after all, that may not happen) of Rayla and/or Runaan saying their peace to the Silvergrove leaders. This would be a great opportunity to provide a contrast to the Cosmic Council, reaffirming that Xadia is ultimately better than them because the Moonshadow elves and everyone else can change, and the Cosmic Council seemingly cannot or will not. But I guess we'll have to wait for S7 or beyond (#GiveUsTheSaga) to find out if this'll come to fruition or not.

I also wanted to touch on what we see with Leola ("I'm so scared!") and the repeated emphasis on "recognizing fear as a moment of empathy and personhood" and the horror that can come if you don't have that moment of recognition. This is something I've touched on before most notably as a striking difference between S1 Rayla and S5 Claudia, but I thought it was worth mentioning as S6 added to it specifically with Viren towards Soren and Lissa. This is another point in the "Rayla is an inversion of the Council's lack of mercy" column, as Leola's — a child's fear, and Aaravos willing to pay the price and take her place — earns her no mercy. Rayla, meanwhile, sees someone innocent that she has 'every right' to execute is afraid of her, and that strays her hand; it steadies her sword, and she spares him. Because if someone is afraid of you, it's worth asking yourself why, and what you might want to do instead.

Last but not least I wanted to talk about Leola's parallels to Callum and Ezran as well, since they are very much there (though yet not perhaps to the same extent).

Ezran has Leola's friendliness to animals and soft heart. He too is a child whose death is called for as a means of Justice, and he is granted mercy through Rayla and the discovery of the egg, able to live and grow and help usher in peace. He is, I think, what Leola might've been allowed to be if she'd lived in different times. Callum, meanwhile, carries the gift giving motif through his cube, staff, and tokens he both gives to (moon-phoenix bracelet) and receives (the moon opal necklace) from Rayla, and previous 'human-Leola' magic dynamic. Callum being able to break free fully from Aaravos' and dark magic's control in S7 and turn his eye instead to primal magic will be what helps bring true justice to Leola and hope for humanity / Xadia in righting the Cosmic Council's fundamental wrongdoing. Hopefully, anyway.

Conclusion

I hope you enjoyed this deep dive into some parallels and potential narrative goings-on between Leola and Rayla as characters. TDP loves its historical and ironic layers in TDP (Ez and the Orphan Queen, Viren's arc from S1 to S6) and I think this layered thematic dynamic between the two merciful young girls was a good, brilliant choice by the creative team. I'm excited to see where this thematic thread goes in the future and how it may continue to be woven into the story. As always, thank you for reading, and I'll see you in the next one.

[paradoxbeta]

there is never going to be a normal way to put this but can we see your iterator designs naked

like. just. how'd you design them under their clothes

yeah of course! heres a moon i whipped up

and now for some talking, because ive thought a bit about clotheless iterator designs:

moon's design was inspired off of the atlas models from boston dynamics (and probably all subsequent iterators i draw will be at least somewhat inspired off the same). theyre pretty handy sources of inspiration considering they look awesome, and since their movement is astonishingly fluid, theyre great models for what sort of joint and limb designs create articulate results. i think its obvious which one had the heaviest hand in inspiring looks to the moon

moon is an older model so in terms of squishiness (for lack of a better term) there is none except for the face. actually, little related detail, the base of her thumb is not flexible, its essentially a small solid block. if youve ever owned a poseable mannequin hand with an inflexible thumb base you probably know that it can cause issues with fine motion in specific circumstances: its just a hiccup of being an older make. the more recent you go then usually the less bare-bones the designs are, they get filled-out midriffs and more "pinchable" areas. take this guy for example:

this is old art and there's things here i would do differently now, but note the squishier underarm: that sort of thing (generally) becomes more common the more recent your models are.

another thing that changes over old to new models is the amount of variation in how the body is constructed, at the beginning i imagine there were only a few select tried-and-true "right" ways to do things, but as time goes on and more avenues of construction become available, designing an iterator's puppet becomes more and more of an art form that is influenced more and more by the judgement and creative tastes of the puppet designer(s). paneling becomes more a matter of aesthetic instead of functionality, and you start to see vanity features appear more frequently (like nipple adjacent markings as seen above, lol).

id say that while older models are closer to the atlas models in appearance, the newest iterators would probably bear more resemblance to the cyborg bodies found in the alita: battle angel film

anyway all of that is to say naked iterators are cool

[authorautumn]

https://www.tumblr.com/authorautumn/780776592868802560/crk-characters-playing-minecraft?source=share

Saw this, adored this, loved the hcs and now I gotta ask for my own...

Would ask the usual character x reader hcs request but after seeing this prompt I just gotta try it!

White lily, affogato, Caramel arrow, dark choco, royal margarine, Clotted cream playing mine craft with you hcs plz!

May ask for this hc with other characters too because I got a LOT of characters I adore...

Also welcome to the cookie run x reader community! I've never seen anyone post specific senario hcs like this before and felt like I just had to give it a shot!

CRK characters playing Minecraft

A/n: I'm very surprised I gained requests so soon! Honestly I loved these cookies and defo had them on my team for a while. Thanks for reaching out, anon!

꓃⁠ Genre : fluffy fluff

꓃⁠ Summary: My headcannons on how these cookie run characters would play Minecraft with you

꓃⁠ Characters: white lily, affogato, caramel arrow, and dark choco

- [ ❇️⚪ ] White Lily Cookie -

• this woman is so lost 😭 she accidentally broke the torches in your home and a creeper spawned in

• "oops..sorry" is all she could slip out before the creeper blows y'all up 💔

• Very well when gaining resources, I feel like she would wander off while you build a house and come back with random valuables from chests she found

• saw a bunny and tried to feed it but accidentally killed it off 😞

• her head would rest on your shoulder as the both of you play, occasionally tracing her thumb in tiny circles on your knee

[ FAV MINECRAFT CHARACTER] : bunny and pigs! She absolutely adores them so don't let her see you kill one..

- [🔮] Affogato Cookie -

• okay let's be real. As soon as this guy sees anything valuable you have, he's taking it.

• you'll go back to your chest at the end of the night and your diamonds will be gone 😞 With high suspicion, you turn to affogato only to see him wearing a full diamond armor set 💔

• "well, I only deserve the best. I guess we'll just have to find you some more, hmm hmm" He assures with a slight chuckle underneath his breath

• he's the "I'm-just-here-for-the-ride" type of player. He'll see you fighting a whole mob outside and stay in to make items he'll never use or share

• if dating, will occasionally kiss your forehead to make up for his selfishness (it kinda works, but you never told him)

[FAV MINECRAFT CHARACTER] : no personal favorites by he absolutely despises endermen.

- [ 🟤🏹 ] Caramel Arrow -

• Literally one of the best cookies to play with. She always makes sure you have new weapons and armor, often giving her items to you ❤️‍🩹🙂‍↕️

• as soon as she found a bow in the game, that's all she ever used ( exceptionally her sword from time to time for close combat).

• one night you found her using the enchantment table to upgrade her bow. "what? I gotta make sure I can protect you, right?" was the only excuse she could come up with (which was partially true).

• never afraid to go in a cave. 🙂‍↔️ She'll put a torch up as she goes and you probably won't see her for another 45 minutes (unless you ventured off with her)

[ FAV MINECRAFT CHARACTER ] : skeletons and villagers.

- [🍫🗡️] Dark Choco Cookie -

• once he gets used to the game, he gets more comfortable letting his guard down. I can imagine him having a bit of trouble at first, and needing some guidance.

• always makes sure your in his sight, often asking "where..are you?" before he explored too far without your character by his side ❤️‍🩹😢

• I feel like he would have 64 blocks of every type of wood in his inventory 💀"just in case". He doesn't like to stay in the same place for too long and avoids villages bc you like to camp there 💔

•if dating, you're most likely resting on his shoulder and he'll sometimes rest his head on yours too

[FAV MINECRAFT CHARACTER] : none. He just enjoys your company!

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[mightbebobbie]

Hei guys! Long time no see!!! Life update!!

I turned 25! I'm also in full swing writing my bachelor thesis about the sublime of the everyday. I am researching old and dusty texts from the 1700s, and its insane how... relatable? A lot of it is... Its easy to put into a modern, everyday perspective, which is gonna be a big part of the artistic part of the project. Which also makes me curious!!

What is your interpretation of the sublime? Is there a moment in your life where you found yourself experiencing something sublime?

I'm not going to use this in my research, I'm just curious to see how you view the word "sublime", as its meaning and definition changes based on where you are, how much you know about aesthetic philosophy, and of course, your view on life. It's a word with many, many meanings!

I'm gonna put a little line down here because I started rambling about my interpretation of the sublime. Just writing about it helped me realize that the sublime is just so. Modern. And it's a privilege, too.

For me, the sublime is when something makes me freeze in abject horror, terror, despair; keyword: any kind of pain. But, only if I get the delight of realizing I am ok afterwards. This is based on Edmund Burke and his idea of the sublime leading to the soul literally freezing in either astonishement, admiration, reverence or respect, with astonishment and the total freezing of all bodily functions the strongest reaction to the sublime. It's interesting, how all of these words are somewhat neutral, but through the lens of "pain", they all become sources of horror. He finds the sublime not to be a feeling, but the object. Burke states: "Anything that excites ideas of pain and danger; conversant about terrible objects; or operates in a manner analogous to terror, is a source of the sublime." (Burke, 1823, p. 46)

Like when you stare into the night sky, and you realize it's just so fucking big and vast and all you can do is stare in horror and wonder- astonishment. You're frozen, suddenly so small. And then you feel the wind on your face and you're relieved when you realize you're alive and well and not a speck of dust floating in empty space. But that relief, that delight, as Burke calls this specific feeling, is tinged with horror. Comfortable yes, but stained. The sky is the sublime. I find computers, math and spirals to be sublime too. The internet is also sublime, and the constant stream of information is especially sublime to me! I think the sublime can be beautiful, which is funny because many philosophers (Kant, specifically, often seen as the guy who first defined the difference between the two) mean the beautiful is the counterpart of the sublime. I think they can hold hands. It's beautiful that we humans have this innate empathy and ability to feel fear where there is none, to feel sorrow for humans we don't know. To feel lost for those who truly are, and to feel pain for those who are hurt. Empathy, at its core, is sublime. Love is sublime. Is it not insane that we open our soul to others, we take on their suffering onto ourselves, even if we are safe and sound? We let their pain override our own, we dwell in their history and horror... I think that's beautiful. There is always room for someone else's suffering next to our own. We don't mind crying for strangers or protesting for them. We don't mind the feeling of loneliness when we stare into the sky at night, for the delight of the wind reminds us, we are not alone. The sublime is entirely dependent on that delightful feeling of knowing we are safe. When we go to a protest, we cry and fight for those who cannot. And then we go home, and we are glad we are safe, but not without that colorful tinge over our thoughts, the color of sadness, or rage, on behalf of others.

And for those of us who don't have the privilege of having a sublime experience, because your life is a string of horrors, sadness and pain, I wish in my heart that you too one day will find that feeling of delight. That feeling of being safe.

[marikbentusi]

I wasn't interested much in the Gwenpool Fortnite collab (fingerless gloves are a cute tweak), but someone asked on Twitter about "evil future Gwenpool" being labelled "Dark Gwenpool" ingame (which is what I've been calling my fan character variant since 2020):

"Dark" is a very common prefix for evil alter egos, so even if people occasionally mistake my comics for official material, I was certain this was a coincidence. But then the person also casually pointed out that she's called "Dark GwenPool" on Wikipedia. Huh?

No sources cited as far as I can tell. One of the original Gwenpool creators even agreed that "Dark Gwenpool" was never official:

I hunted down the Wikipedia changelog where apparently someone injected all the Dark Gwenpool stuff on 8th of April this year (2024). So maybe someone on the Fortnite team checked Google/Wikipedia instead of making up the name from scratch.

I tried to hunt down the wiki editor for questioning only to find out they are banned for being a sockpuppet account. In fact, that user was such a prolific sockpuppeteer that they've got their own Wikipedia page listing all 164 suspected alts. One of them is called "Batrocfrogg", what kind of canonization assist from beyond the grave is this?!

Since that lead went cold, I looked at the sources the wiki edit gave when talking about the character more generally. Aside from the official comics where she isn't called Dark Gwenpool, we've got:

"Peter Parker & Miles Morales: Spider-Men Double Trouble #2" – evil Gwen just has a cosplay background cameo there, no name drop.

Marvel Duel, a niche F2P mobile card game, where she's an antagonist.

The person who first pointed out to me that "Dark Gwenpool" was also on Wikipedia dug around and found a screenshot that evil Gwen is indeed called "Dark Gwenpool" in Marvel Duel:

Obviously I assume the Marvel Duel devs just made that one up without knowing about my comics. Case closed on that lead! But I'm not sure if the Wiki edit was based on this.

Marvel Duel, if we can still trust its wiki page, only released in eight countries. They are mostly in the UTC+8 time zone. The edit was finished on ~22:00 UTC+0, which would be Tuesday 05:00 AM local time if the editor is from one of those countries themselves. Of course, maybe the person played an emulated/jailbroken version (the game does come in English), watched a foreign Let's Play, or is just a super night owl. None of these are stranger than having 146 sockpuppet accounts. But it also doesn't exactly help the edit's credibility like I had hoped.

I also don't know if Marvel Duel included the name variations "Dark GwenPool" and "Dark Gwen" that the Wiki editor used specifically (in the screencap above she's stylized differently). The editor also called her the "evil alternator future version" tho, so maybe they aren't a stickler for details.

----

But yeah the TL;DR is that "Dark GwenPool" is currently the main name for evil Gwen on Wikipedia with no source cited. Marvel Duel calling her that as well was probably just coincidence. Maybe Fortnite also made it up, or they copied it from Wikipedia, or maybe they copied it from Marvel Duel itself.

I thought it was weird and funny enough to share. 164 sockpuppets. WTF.

[hearthwrm]

𝒜 Collection of My Favorite Vocals From Yeosang

As a firm Yeosang bias, I decided to share my favorite collection of moments where Yeosang's vocals shine. I was going to share this for his birthday, but I think I would rather take a dive into the fashion they dress him in. So, I will—with hope—be working on that in the future. Truthfully, it is a shame that KQ Entertainment gives him so few lines. I won't wonder or speculate as to why that is, as I find it can be quite the intense topic for some fans. I will say that I am anxiously awaiting his birthday, so we may get more glimpses of his vocals. Hopefully, anyhow .. ♡

BLOOMING DAY

I urge anyone to watch the video (provided here) in full, as his stage presence is the aspect that enamored me the most with this performance. Not only his, but of the group as a whole. If someone told me they were an official group, I would believe them. I find that Yeosang plays soft roles in a manner that comes across as very genuine and bright (also seen in the "I Like You" performance here). One aspect I don't see people acknowledge about Yeosang is just how easily he seems to click with others when performing. In this case, Xiaojun and Hyeongseop. While, yes, that may mean he takes a back seat mostly when groups are bigger than three, he harmonizes with others in a seamless way. Which makes it to me obvious as to why a lot of companies would want him. He comes across as reliable. Professional.

Personal Favorite Section: 2:14 – 2:20 min.

INTO THE NEW WORLD

I will preface by saying that Jongho was the one that distributed the lines in this performance. Is it selfish to say I would wish he could be in charge of such a thing? Perhaps it is because of his very… vigorous vocal training in his youth, but his ear for others' vocals is delightful. Not only that, but the way he made every member shine is so heart-touching. Yeosang had a small dance intermission, and all three shared the center with their own sections of solos. I am thankful to the ATINYs who captured this moment and uploaded it for us to watch (please spare them a view, here and here). I used the former for this audio clip, it would be my hope for everyone to give the original posters some love. Unrelated, but do Jongho, Yeosang, and Wooyoung have a name? I was searching for one to place in the artist category, but found none. So, I placed ATEEZ even when the eight members aren't physically there. As I feel it still fits.

Personal Favorite Section: 1:08 – 1:43 min.

ONLY THEN¹

According to a commenter on the video on YouTube, Yeosang had this to say about this specific cover:

“This is when later~

Of course, it's much later. Just long after when I, someday in the future, have to part ways with ATINYs. [through the song I want to say] That right now, instead of worrying about it and having those thoughts, it's something that we'll see to at that time. In the present, I like you, and you like me, too. So, let's live happily!”

Is this true? I don't know. I would think most of this information—if true—would either have been said in a VLIVE, fromm chat, Universe, or another Korean-based app that I cannot get my non-Korean (cough, broke) hands upon. Then, if said information was shared, it was probably done so on Twitter which... I don't have. If anyone has any basis to this, I would be more than happy to add a source! Still, I think it's a nice thought. Even if it did not come from his mouth. It also fits into the narrative if you take into consideration the song that follow this one. Which is a cover of "Don't Forget About Me" by Chris James.

Personal Favorite Section: 2:50 – 3:36 min.

TO MY YOUTH²

Have I cried to this cover? Yes, and I am not ashamed to say so. This is just my interpretation of Yeosang (that is his persona, not his person), but I always felt he had this sort of bright melancholy to him. By this I mean there's this bittersweetness of youth that clings to his aura. It reminds me of lemon tarts. Which, as you may have guessed, is why this post is all sort of shades and tints of yellow. Brushing past that, however, I think that this cover shows a subtle stroke of his range. He can do deep ranges—portray the drums of a revolution in HALAZIA or a bone-deep thrill as seen in Dune—but it's hard to portray authentic tenderness. I listened to the original by BOL4 (Bolbbalgan4), and her voice brims with authenticity. The thing, however, is that with the original, there's this crescendo at the end. Akin to screaming on top of a coastal cliff. With Yeosang, there is none of that. It remains contained in oneself. It reminds me of squeezing a fruit too hard. Cathartic for a second, but once you look down at your hands, you realize everything is still a mess.

Personal Favorite Section: 2:55 – 3:17 min.

With this, we conclude this very long post. Hopefully, to those that have made it this far, you have enjoyed this small journey. This took me… much longer than I thought it would .. (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

I tried to make most of them .mp3 files so, hopefully, everyone can listen to them!

FOOTNOTES:

¹ This song is part of an unlisted playlist (which can be found here). Why is it unlisted? I believe KQ Entertainment did so because the QR code in Yeosang's birthday photobook redirected to this playlist.

² To note is that this is a special clip that can be found on YouTube, yet it also is the first song in the array of covers he did for his "The Middle of June" photobook previously mentioned.

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

Kaiju!AU Rewrite Snippet

So as stated in a previous post, I've started rewriting the chapters I currently have for the Kaiju!AU due to the original not meeting my original vision and my own pacing minimizing the quality (in my own mind anyway). I'm still on hiatus from answering asks for imagines for the AUs, but I am still working on the ideas at my own pace and will slowly reintegrate myself into something comfortable and enjoyable.

Anyway, this is set shortly after Yuu discovers the ship and plane graveyard from the original prologue, expanding a bit more on the island itself...as well as meeting someone MUCH earlier than I had planned the first time around. >v>

I've still got much to finish writing for the first chapter and get it to a point where I'm satisfied with it, but I'm happy that I've been able to add more of the worldbuilding ideas I had discussed in previous posts so far!

In short: Story begins relatively the same, but it's been expanded a helluva lot more than before and will progress differently now that I'm gaining more confidence in my own skills since first attempting this AU!

Warnings: Some swearing in the snippet and some implied blood. If I need to tag anything in here a specific way, please let me know so I can keep it in mind whenever I post the final product!

//////BEGIN SNIPPET//////

The sun was steadily rising now as they continued their search, somehow managing to escape the giant metal deathtrap maze and into a wide clearing. Up ahead they could see a jungle tree line, immediately recognizing the cluster of yellow at the top of one of the trees. Relieved to have found a food source, they ran as fast as they could towards the trees. As they grew closer and closer, however, their excitement turned to confusion as they slowed to a trot. Still the trunks of the trees continued to grow bigger, dwarfing Yuu as they stopped and stared up in horror at the sight of the trees looming over them like towers.

“What the hell is going on,” they uttered, slowly turning in a circle as they realized just how small they were compared to the foliage. Plants that should have come up to their waist or shoulders were large enough to form a canopy, shielding them from the steadily growing harsh sunlight. Trees that should have been easily 15-20 feet tall were easily three times that height, fruit that should have been easy to pluck and gather now swayed threateningly like a boulder ready to be dropped.

Buzzing overhead caught their attention as they looked up, pure terror filling their veins as they saw what could only be described as a giant dragonfly-like creature flitting about. It hovered close to a flower, the downdraft of its wings buffeting Yuu with strong winds as it landed on a petal—and disappearing the moment the flower snapped shut around its body, clamping down like a vice as it struggled to escape.

“Nope! Nope, nope, nope, nope!” was all Yuu managed to say before they scurried away, not wanting to find out if anything else had a taste for flesh. “Giant food is one thing, but I draw the line at man-eating plants!”

Giant food, giant bugs, giant plants, a deserted island, and an entire graveyard of ships and planes? This had to be a fever dream or a nightmare of epic proportions! Yet it was getting harder and harder to find logic in anything they were seeing. None of this should even be possible, and yet…here they were, stranded in the middle of nowhere with no idea of who they were, how they got here, or even why they were here. And if the insects and plants were enormous, what else was even bigger than them? They didn’t even know if there were any other survivors out the-

‘Get a grip, Yuu!’ they thought, managing to stick close to the edge of the jungle on their right and keeping the shore on their left side. ‘Panicking won’t help anything, and you need to stay focused. Food will have to wait, so let’s just find water and shel-‘ the ground collapsed under their right foot, sending Yuu sliding down a steep incline with loud, “Aaaah!!”

Whud!

“…ow,” they uttered, groaning as they slowly sat up. Glancing back where they came from, they spotted the steep slope that had been concealed by one of the leaves. The dirt was smoothed away to reveal red and yellow clay, as though someone had carved out the opening with a tool to remove any bumps or ridges. Realizing that it would be too steep a climb to get out of the ravine, they sighed and shook their head. “Great…is everything on this island trying to kill-”

Thoom…

“…me…” Their voice trailed off as another thud hit the ground, the earth vibrating beneath their feet as they slowly turned towards the densest part of the forest. Something was coming, the sound of branches creaking and snapping reaching Yuu’s ears as they slowly started to creep behind a large rock formation—before finally noticing the razor-sharp teeth and the empty eye socket. They clamped their hands over their mouth as a massive black shape began to emerge, ducking into the gap of the skull until they could peek through the socket.

The creature that emerged was gigantic, towering beyond anything they could imagine as it crept into the area on four legs. The sunlight fell across its body, black and green feathers gleaming while its beak—wickedly sharp and deadly—was slick with something damp.

‘What…what the fuck is that thing?!’ Yuu thought, pressing their body against the inside of the skull as they watched the monster move.

It sniffed the air, its four glowing golden eyes scanning the area. It sniffed at the colorful crystal formations at the base of the tree. A pair of thin, small arms extending from its chest as the strange hands grasped at the stones, snapping them from the base. When it opened its beak, the sun glinted off of sharp rows of teeth before it crunched down on the crystals. Once the crystals were gone, it sniffed around for a moment before it stood on its hind legs and leaned against one of the trees. Its neck stretched out further than they thought was possible, its sharp beak plucking at the fruit that seemed so ridiculously small in comparison. From this angle, they could see a pair of massive wings pressed tightly to its sides and a long serpentine tail lazily sweeping across the ground.

‘Okay…whatever the hell that thing is, it seems only interested in fruit, so maybe it won’t mistake me for a bug and eat me…?’

Something skittered across the bark near the monster’s claw, and a moment later its head had darted forward. A giant spider-like bug with crystalline spikes was squirming in its beak before it tossed its head back, swallowing it whole before continuing to pluck at the fruit with a distinctly happy trill.

‘…yeah, that makes more sense,’ they thought, feeling their heart beating heavily in their chest. ‘Dammit…I can’t run or that thing will spot and eat me like that spider! Maybe I can just…wait here in this skull and-”

Beep-bwoop!

“Shit!” Yuu whispered under their breath as they immediately reached down to the ankle bracelet. To their horror, the bird-lizard monster’s head immediately snapped towards their direction, the two feathery ears popping up and swiveling left and right—searching for the sound again. ‘Dammit, why is the universe trying to kill me?!’

THOOM…THOOM…

Each footstep from the monster made their heart jump as they pressed their body against the wall of the skull, bracing their feet against the other side to avoid falling over and making more noise. They could hear the beast sniff the air, the musty smell of rotting meat and fruit washing over the area while something loud scraped against the ground around their hiding spot.

‘Please don’t beep again, please don’t let it find me, please, please, please, please!’ they thought, staring at the bracelet as the light blinked mockingly up at them. The monster sniffed—horrifyingly close now—as a wave of hot air rushed through the eye socket. Through the gaps in the skull’s teeth, they could see its shadow blocking out the sunlight, the tips of what they realized were its massive claws beginning to curl underneath their hiding spot and starting to lift. ‘I just woke up, I don’t want to die!’

Just then, in the distance, a loud, echoing roar filled the air.

Immediately the bird-lizard let out a sound akin to a chirp as it dropped their shelter back down, the quiet crooning it was making earlier devolving into a terrifying hissing snarl and caw. The earth shook as Yuu heard it bound away, branches and leaves snapping in its path as they heard it barrel through the forest. Then…

Silence.

///////END SNIPPET////////

MWAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! This is only a snippet of what to expect once I'm finished with my rewrites! Something I've come to realize is that whenever I introduced some of the Kaiju, I never really elaborated on their appearances outside of the basics from that species list I wrote before. Definitely going to be making more of a point of describing how they look to make it easier for my readers to imagine!

[desceros]

Hey there!! I just wanted to say i absolutely LOVE your writing style and found you a little bit ago and I just like- your stuff is absolutely AMAZING!!!

I don’t know if this is improper to ask, but I’ve been thinking about writing rottmnt fics as well, but don’t really know the best way to start and I wanted to ask if you had any specific tips for either character studies or writing tips! Thank you so much and it’s so nice to see an update (IT WAS SO GOOD!!!!)

-🪻💕

hello hello!! thank you so much!!

it's not improper at all! i get a good number of asks where people ask questions like that and i'm always happy to give my personal opinion on things like that. it's how creative communities grow after all! sharing tips and techniques!

anywho, here are some tips for you:

consume the source material. the more you can hear the show in your head, the more you can hear the way the characters speak and interact with one another, the more you can manipulate those voices into believable dialogue and actions. donnie sounds different from leo who sounds different from mikey, etc. that should be reflected in your writing!

write character blurbs. when i'm first learning how to write a character, i'll write a few little drabbles or the like to pin them down. it can be something like. "their crush walks in the room." then you write that. how would leo react? how would donnie react? raph? splinter? do that lots and lots and lots, and you start to build your confidence with scenarios and stuff.

read. this one is one i tend to do more when i'm first learning a character, since i often get too wrapped up in writing to read as much, but it's super useful in the beginning. read what other people are writing, but not as a reader--as a writer. deconstruct things. what do you like? why? what didn't you like? why? what would you have done differently? if given that same premise, how would you handle it? this can help you find the tropes you like (and thus can gravitate towards writing) and those you don't like (and thus the ones you don't want to lean into). for example, i don't like fics where there's a love triangle, so i very rarely write that. i'm a sucker for that "true love" kind of romance where "this is the only one i have eyes for," so that's what i write. not to say that those fics are bad, i just don't like them as much. find your tropes you like!

practice practice practice. this one is probably the most important. my number one advice to you is WRITE! open up a blank page and just go. don't worry about finding the perfect plot, the right words, if people are going to like it, if you're going to be popular, or how to get the right characterization. none of that!! just write. start. get the words out. use a random word generator to find your first word if you're stuck. use a prompt starter. whatever it takes! start writing and then don't stop until you finish it. then do that again, again, again, over and over and over. eventually you'll be much, much more comfortable with writing in general. get this down, and literally everything else will come with time.

those are just a couple tips. i hope you find them helpful, and good luck and have fun!!