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#and that the third time that thats happend in the past six months
thedegu
·
5 years
Text
.
#so uh i had one really bad sensory-overload that nearly turned into a panic attack today and one full panic attack today. i think i need to
#see someone
#this is the first time ive had two in one day
#and i kind of expect a third when i get into bed
#becuase thats just the way my brain works
#im gonna call my dad tomorrow and see what he thinks and who i should contact to see if there is anyone who takes our insurance nearby
#because i cant keep haveing these
#i do take them at night
#when im in bed
#because it doesent intrupt anything beyond my sleeping and ive come up with ways of dealing with it
#but nearly haveing one in public is not great
#and that the third time that thats happend in the past six months
#i mean small nightly pannic attacks arent great but at least they arent imbaresssing and come with a loss of control
#but i cannot have them in public
#i know what they feel like when theyre comeing on so i can usually remove myself
#but if i were to be in a place where i cannot remove the anxiety i dont know what i would do
#the only way i can sleep is useing my hyperfocus anymore
#i have to purposely fill my brain with it
#or i will have a pannic attack laying in bed
#gods i kind of wish i was hyper-depressed again because at least i didnt have to deal with this shit every night
#not to say im going to do anything to myself!
#i am in control of my actions rn
#and actually i havent had any major suicidal thoughts for a couple of weeks now
#i mean i probbaby had the usual drifting thoughts but nothing that actually raised any alarm bells recently
#and while i was doing some bad stimming earlear today when i was overwhelmeled i do not self-harm or anything like that
#that was because i was not in control but i was able to realize that and remove myself
#and regaine control
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