#not to say im going to do anything to myself!

[msschemmenti]

monday morning guest

emily prentiss x reader

summary: emily gets a surprise visitor in the bullpen on monday morning.

a/n: crack idea i got driving past my neighbors house.

monday morning— bright and early. the bau team was finally back from a two week stent of back to back cases and emily was finally starting to settle into her role as unit chief. she was no hotch, but she was relying pretty heavily on her interpol experience and the bond the team had built over the years. with such a close knit team, it was always very easy to spot new comers in the office.

so when a woman breezed through the glass doors of the bullpen, emily wasn’t surprised to catch garcia’s bright pink cardigan hurrying after her to intercept the mystery woman. what she was surprised to see was a face she knew all too well.

y/n y/ln. in dc. in her bullpen? what alternate universe could she possibly have walked into this morning. she turned hastily to the mirror she kept in her office and started fluffing her hair quickly. she hadn’t seen y/n since her college graduation and it’s safe to say she looks very different now. not bad per say but older. feeling satisfied with her hair she rifled through her purse for some lipstick and anything to make her not look like it was monday morning.

down in the bullpen, y/n smiled at the brightly colored woman she’d just been stopped by. she scanned the bullpen over her shoulder hoping to catch sight of emily. after hearing the older woman had returned [allegedly from the dead], she hoped on the opportunity to pay her a visit while she was in town.

“good morning beautiful stranger. welcome to the bau, my name is penelope. can i help you with something?” the woman bounced in anticipation.

“hello, penelope. i’m actually looking for someone. your new unit chief actually.” y/n spoke as she shuffled the folder in her hand to shake penelope’s hand.

“emily? emily prentiss? do you have a crime case you’d like assistance on?” garcia asked.

“yes and no. she and i have some business to take care of, now that she’s returned stateside.” y/n smiled waving the folder in front of garcia.

“oh? business to take care of…” garcia repeated sweeping her eyes from the woman in front of her and emily’s office.

“mmhm. do you think she’s available for a little chat?” y/n asked nodding in amusement at the quirky woman.

“well i would think so— who should i say is here?”

“oh where are my manners, i’m y/n. she should remember me.” y/n smiled as garcia nodded her understanding before heading up the stairs to emily’s office.

“ma’am,” garcia spoke knocking on the open door of emily’s office.

“please stop calling me ma’am.” emily sighed wearily.

“sorry, im just nervous. there’s a really pretty woman down there saying she’s here to see you. and that you’ve got official business to take care of. well i don’t think she said official but she definitely said business. and she waved a folder in front of me. are you being sued or something?” garcia rambled.

emily eyed the tech analyst as she rambled and as she took a breath she held her hand up to stop her before she could start again. “y/n y/ln, right?”

“y/n— yes. i don’t know her last name but she said you should remember her. do you want me to go get her?”

“no, no. i’ll come down myself.” emily rose from the desk, giving herself another once over in the mirror before moving toward garcia and the door.

“wait, what was that?” garcia asked curiously.

“what— what was what? what are you talking about?” emily asked obliviously.

“did you just check yourself out? are you primping yourself? did you reapply your lipstick? oh this just got so much more interesting. who is this woman?” garcia jumped.

“i-what no to all of that,” emily lied as her cheeks heated. “and she’s just a friend from my college days.”

“yeah but what kind of friend? i don’t primp in my office when my college friends come to see me.”

emily peeked around the door frame into the bullpen and caught sight of y/n looking right back at her. the woman sent a flirty wave up toward the office and laughed softly as she watched emily’s cheeks heat in embarrassment.

“not now garcia.” emily mumbled as she straightened her clothes out one more time before descending the stairs to meet y/n. “y/n, what a surprise. what’s it been 10 years?”

“far more than that, em. you look good.” y/n smirked.

“wow, obviously not as good as you. garcia said you came on business?” emily replied trying and failing to tame the blush she’d been sporting since she headed down to the bullpen.

“well yes. and may i just say, you are one hard woman to track down.” y/n shook her head with a laugh.

“oh don’t i know it!” garcia piped in from her placed leaned against jj’s desk. at the intrusion, emily sent a glare her way. penelope grimaced and turned to face jj in fear.

“you’ve been looking for me?” emily asked curiously.

“i have for quite a while actually,” y/n smiled softly before waving the folder in emily’s direction. “we’re still married. and have been for about 20 years now. and let me just say, you’ve got a hell of a lot of anniversary gifts to make up for babe.”

“married?!” garcia exclaimed before slapping her hand over her mouth.

emily’s eyes widened exponentially as she caught all of the team’s eyes on her. the shock was evident on everyone’s face and she honestly couldn’t wash it off her own face.

“how about we go to my office and talk about this?” emily recovered, grabbing the folder and nodding toward the office upstairs.

“of course.” y/n nodded and followed emily into the office.

emily pointedly closed the door on prying eyes and turned to face y/n, “now that you’ve successfully fueled the office gossip fire for at least the next month. married for 20 years? is this about the netherlands? didn’t we get that annulled after we got back?”

“i thought so too. until i was a few weeks out from my wedding and they let us know that i was still in fact married according to netherlandian law.” y/n shrugged collapsing onto the couch.

“well i don’t think they call it netherlandian law,” emily paused catching the first part of what y/n said. “oh! you’re engaged. and i’m keeping you from getting married. i can try to get garcia to pull some strings online to help get the divorce finalized faster. or i can call someone over at interpol, im sure they can do something.”

y/n chuckled affectionately, “well while i appreciate the fact that you’d abuse your access to government resources for my sake. that ship has long sailed. the fact i was still married was the least of our problems. but i found that out and tried to track you down and that’s when your mother, still as lovely as i remember, let me know you had died.” y/n deadpanned, leveling emily with a look she knew very well.

“yeah, that was a whole thing.” emily grimaced.

“uh huh, im sure it was. after that, i just went with the whole widowed thing for a bit. until i heard again from your mother, so lovely, that you were alive again.”

“i didn’t realize you and my mother spoke so frequently.” emily mumbled taking a seat on the couch as well.

“you just keep giving us reasons to gab. anyways, i was in the states and figured id try to catch you after all these years. i brought the papers and figured you could sign them.”

“of course. i wouldn’t want to keep you from another marriage.” emily nodded hastily grabbing a pen to sign off.

“ah i figured you’d have run into the issue before me.”

emily dotted her and slid the folder back to y/n, “no, no one worth marrying. well besides you apparently.”

y/n smiled and giggled, “had i been aware, i would’ve been a far better wife to you but at least i didn’t widow you.”

“oh come on! what do you want me to say? had i known we were still married, i wouldn’t have died?” emily laugh incredulously.

“you had a wife to come home to, it could’ve been motivation.”

emily’s smile was free and contagious, “god you haven’t changed a bit.”

“not much sweet, but i can tell you have. lot of responsibility you got here agent.” y/n smiled sadly. “i hope you’re taking care of yourself. and your team.” there was a beat of admiration that washed over y/n’s face before she sighed and gathered the papers. “listen i’ll get out of your hair. thanks for divorcing me. always a pleasure seeing you.” y/n stood from the couch, emily following.

“of course, are you headed back right away?” emily asked hopefully.

“no i’m in the states for a bit for work, why?” y/n asked.

“oh i was just curious. figured maybe i could make up for this 20 anniversary dinners i missed.”

y/n grinned, “agent prentiss, are you asking me on a date?”

“i think i might be asking you on at least 20, if you want to of course.”

y/n walked over to emily’s desk and grabbed a pen and sticky note. scribbling something down and tucked the post it in emily’s blazer pocket with a smirk. “you better get planning then.” y/n threw a wink over her shoulder and left the office with a smile. all the agents scattered to make it seem like they weren’t intently trying to figure out what was going on behind the closed door. y/n stopped at garcia and smiled sweetly, “thank you penelope. have a good day everyone.”

everyone mumbled their replies and watched as emily’s alleged wife exit the bullpen. as soon as the elevators closed they all hurried up the stairs to emily’s open door.

“you’re married?!” garcia was the first to exclaim and emily sighed in exasperation. she eyed her chosen family and knew she wasn’t getting out of answering this. at all.

[mattsturnioloz]

Then I lost you.

Summary: Matt's career as a youtuber takes a toll on his 4 year relationship with his girlfriend, putting it on hold. Will it ever be the same again?

Pairings: Y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Warnings: angst, mentions of anxiety, unresolved angst (maybe)

A/N: (guys this is my first fic so please bear with me😭 l would love some feedback or tips though!!)

I was sitting on the couch scrolling through my phone and channel surfing, waiting for my boyfriend, Matt, to get back from filming a car video with his brothers, Chris and Nick. But over the course of the last couple of months, Matt has been distant and there was a rather uncomfortable feeling sitting in my chest. He would make up excuses as to why he couldn't hang out with me like he was filming, editing or streaming. It made me overthink. Did I do something? Does he still love- No, of course he still loves me. Right?

It was all too much and it gave me anxiety. Sure, I understand his career as a Youtuber can be a handful but I can't help but feel a bit neglected and it makes me feel guilty.. I sit there thinking for a moment, taking in the cool autumn smell that roamed through the house, listening to the patter of the soft rain drops falling onto the windows, trying to think of a way that I could get Matt to spend time with me.

I decide to cook a nice dinner for matt and I or at least attempt to, so I stand up and I head to the kitchen and decide on some ravioli which takes me about an hour but I did it.

Flashback

"What are you gonna get to eat?" | asked Matt.

"I'm not sure.. you know for a fancy restaurant, you'd think they'd have a variety of options." He says before raising his eyebrow at me, showing me the menu and we both chuckle.

"Our first date and i'm already messing up huh?" He says with a nervous chuckle.

"What?? No! you're not messing up i'm having fun." I said with a smile, reaching over the table to hold his hand and he gave me a lighthearted smile.

"Ravioli is the only decent thing they got here, think i'll go with that." He says closing the menu. "See? It's not all that bad, I just so happen to love ravioli. I think I can go for some too.” I smile.

Present

I set up the table with bowls and utensils before making my way to the bathroom and realize that look a bummy mess so l spend the rest of the time I had left before he got back to make myself look at least a little presentable. I feel an overwhelming but nice sense of excitement to spend time with him again. I change into a casual but nice outfit and decide to do a simple and natural makeup look.

I soon hear the sound of the front door opening and chattering following behind it. I make my way out of the room to greet Matt who was laughing with chris and nick.

"Hey baby! How was filming??" | say almost too enthusiastically but I was too excited to keep my cool. "It was alright." He says nonchalantly, which makes me turn my happy demeanor down a notch.

Chris goes downstairs to get ready for something and Nick goes upstairs to do the same. Leaving matt and I alone which was perfect so I take the chance.

"I made-" before I could say anything Matt interrupted me. "Hey, me nick and chris are gonna go to top golf with madi, and nate so I might be home a little late." My heart sinks and i'm flushed with dread but I don't give up so easily.

"Well I actually made dinner for us.. I was hoping we could spend a little time together since we haven't in a while." | say fiddling with my necklace getting a bit anxious.

"I'm sure it's amazing baby but I should go get ready, Save me some yeah?" He says, placing a gentle kiss on my temple before he walks towards our shared bedroom to get ready.

I sit at the table where our food is now cold and I feel a lump in my throat followed by a cold sinking feeling in my chest.

658 words.

A/N: (This is sloppy and I kind of hate it, js wanted to try this out to see what yall think. if you guys like it, i'll keep writing, if not then im never writing again and since it's my first fic I kept it short but if you guys like it, i'll make the next parts longer 🫶🏼)

Taglist: @h3arts4harry @star-yawnznn @imwetforyourmom

[velnna]

i want to say, i ADORE the limb differences (other words for 'missing limbs' that i prefer to use) in the under garden, from the art of them that youve posted on here!! absints lower arm for example :)

i havent read yet, i havent been able to scrounge up the money to buy (hopefully soon!!) but im super excited to buy and read for many reasons, this among them!!

but just, seeing characters with limb differences who are still cool and important and often seem powerful.. it just gives me hope and makes me feel seen!! fantasy is my ansolute favorite genre, but im disabled and i havent found much fantasy stuff that includes disabled characters at All, i can count on one hand the amount of disabled characters ive seen in fantasy stuff :,)

i dont have a limb difference myself (degenerative disc disease and worsening hearing for me) but seeing ANY disabled character is just so lovely, it brings me joy :,) so thank you for including characters with disabilities!!!! it doesnt go unnoticed, and its heavily appreciated and wonderful to see!!

it also makes me curious, do you have any characters in the under garden who are disabled in other ways?? vision, hearing, mobility related conditions, etc? having just one type of disability repped is also amazing regardless of if you have others of course, im just curious :)

and if you ever need a disability-related sensitivity reader/info person based on lived experience for anything, if you ever make a post about it id definitely hit you up XD

have a lovely week, and i hope this ramble isnt too huge haha!

Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy it when you do manage to read it 🖤🖤🖤

The Under Garden has a couple of separate "storylines" with their own casts and we haven't set everything in stone for most of them, so take this with a grain of salt. Amongst primary and secondary cast, we have a couple of people with disabilities/chronic pain from injuries, medical complications, etc, some more explicitly shown than others. Technically Ashton, for instance, has a degenerative condition (loosely linked to the idea of butterflies having a very short lifespan after cocooning) and it's a big part of his role in the story overall

There's other instances of characters that could potentially have parallels to real world illnesses or disabilities but they're so intertwined with magical/fantasy mechanics that it's up to each reader to see how they feel about it.

Oh and we're toying with the idea of one of our main characters having a severe hearing impediment but it's a WIP because it might actually affect the plot

[listleven]

Simple guide on manifesting ✨

Choosing what you want to manifest. This is genuinely the hardest part. Especially if you are a beginner and you think you choose something a bit out of reach for you.... no. Anything is possible. This is classic but even the word impossible has Im possible in it. The thing with this is if you are trying for the first time and have had bad experiences or are expecting bad you are going to try and go for something more attainable or completely over consume. AND THATS OK. Practice is great. Go for what you think is smaller if it helps you ease. But you can manifest even with doubts bc despite the misinformation you don't need to "feel" like you have it. What happens a lot is people give up and stop persisting when they don't see it in the 3d. So they have "backup options". And then they create this cycle of fear that if they didn't manifest this, will this work?? RELAX!! It will.

Persisting. Of course you've heard a dozen times before but why do you think its so popular. Now here you're going to persist until your desires materialize in the 3d. AKA when your subconscious mind has been impressed. Even in doubt you will persist bc it does not make a difference. You will THINK like the person who has it not feel if you can't. Thats literally it.

TIPS:

In order to think like the person living in the end you can write a story from that POV, affirm, meditate, guided meditations to help you relax, I use subs that use present tense, affirmation tapes, SATs, and sm more.

A little tidbit of my own is affirming that the 3d is no more real than a dream. Im going to make a separate posts in all the ways dreaming and the 3d are so similar. That way you can say stuff like "ah this doesn't matter its just a dream in the true reality I have everything I want." This can also induce lucid dreams because I do reality checks and confirm to myself that im dreaming and immediately start meditating to "ground myself" for 5 seconds by doing this Ive done it in my dreams.

Refocus to the 4d if you're ever in doubt. Everything right now, isn't real not time, or physical objects. Go back to the imagination. Its kind of funny right how everyone gaslighted us into believing imagination is not the reality and we had to "come back to the real world" LMOA its literally vice versa

If you are persisting and don't see it in the 3d, don't you dare give up to manifest something more "attainable" this creates a loop where you go back to number 1 over and over. Remember you already have it. How do you know? Because this is no more real than a dream and you are the validation.

Accept the 4d as the only real reality

If you have had "failed attempts" Revise. Bc in the 4d no you didn't??? Ex. all those failed pure conscious attempts are not real , you actually have induced them in the 4d. If you keep persisting and accept that all those "attempts" worked, the 3d will conform.

Reminding yourself you have something and reality checks are the same thing. The most biggest similarity in the 3d and dreaming is you can control both using the 4d. We all know how reality checks work right. Persisting works the same way. I mentioned this in a previous tip above. I’ll do many reality checks confirming the 3d is a dream (bc it’s not real and stuff) and I’ll “ground myself” this allows me to trigger lucid dreams when I sleep AND I’ll add in something like “ofc I’m dreaming in the true reality I have —-“. That’s literally how manifestation works. If something “ fails” NO IT DIDNT. If you got a bad grade after manifesting in a good one, what? But you did get a good grade. In your 4d the real reality. Remember. Remind yourself that none of this is real. You did get that A. You are dreaming. None of this is real.

There are no such things as failed attempts. That did happen. You did shift. Let’s do a “which reality am I in” check right now. Oh and would u look at that you are in your dr.

I’m definitely going to post more about the last two bullet points to give more clarification.

~ with love, Jyspire

[jellyfishcharm]

i dont know how to say this in a nice way but i have have no interest in watching the 1994 version of interview with the vampire for one reason: they aren’t black.

i love iwtv with my whole heart. it is my favorite show (with the exception of arcane) and means so much to me. ive seen s1 literally a million times. i have fanart, fanfics, edits, and headcanons for all the characters i love so much. but i dont not want to watch the 1994 version because they (specifically claudia) are not black.

i’m a biracial girl with a black immigrant mom who has been told so many times that i “act white.” i’m queer,i do a predominantly white sport (ballet), and go to a predominantly white school. on top of that i have a mental illness/mood disorder, which makes me seem, lets be honest, irritating and off putting. (wow what a combo) “weird girl representation” has always made me so uncomfortable because it never feels like it was made with anyone but white girls in mind. and that’s okay, except for the fact that there’s no alternative. i couldn’t find anything that had someone i could see myself in, specifically with a black lead. so i would always just take what i could get, until i watched iwtv and saw claudia for the first time.

claudia as a character represents so many things i have struggled with. her personality, looks, struggles with her family - id count lestat and louis as her parents in this analogy - are things i resonate so much with on such a deep level. seeing claudia, both Delainey Hayles and Bailey Bass in different ways, healed something inside of me that i had been looking for for so so so long. seeing them in that role was life changing for me, and i don’t want to see claudia’s character as anything else but black.

i am in no way saying that the original 1994 version is bad, i’m sure the original cast did an amazing job and brought so much to those roles. but i don’t want to think about claudia as anything but black, or at least black coded. im planning to read the books to understand the source material and Anne Rice’s vision better, but im even hesitant about that because Claudia is so important to me i dont want to think about her any other way.

i love claudia sm she is so special to me🫶🏽

[musevinnie]

ᴄᴀʙɪɴ ɴɪɢʜᴛꜱ - ᴠɪɴɴɪᴇ ʜᴀᴄᴋᴇʀ

Description : You and Vinnie have been best friends for a long time. The friend group decided to plan a little getaway to a cabin. And after a little game of truth or dare things come to light.

Warning: smut. p in v. unprotected sex. breeding kink. dirty talk. finishing inside. fingering

a/n- haven't proofread it

Okay Vinnie your turn, truth or dare. One of the friends, Justin called out to him. He thought for a moment and took a swing of his beer.

"You know what, hit me with it. I pick Truth." he said taking another chug of the beer.

Justin smirked to himself known what exactly he was doing. He knows Vinnie has feelings for you. So he just wants Vinnie to finally confess because he's tired of hearing; "isn't y/n so pretty", "do you think we will make a good couple", "what would our kids look like".

It was sickening.

"Okay Vinnie Boy. Name the person of the you are in love with."

Vinnie eyes widen! And you quickly turned your head and look at Vinnie.

"WHAT! You are in love with someone and haven't told me anything. I thought we told each other everything?"

Vinnie face was turning bright red and got up. "Im done playing this stupid game"

And with that Vinnie went into his room he was staying at in the cabin. Everything got quiet and the vibes went down. You quickly got up and followed Vinnie into the room where he vanished into.

You saw him sitting on the edge of the bed, You closed the door and sat down next to him. "Hey what was that about?"

Vinnie was not looking at you. "Nothing it was a stupid game and a stupid question."

He runs a hand through is hair. "I just didn't expect Justin to call me out like that okay. It's embarrassing, he knows that I love-"

You took a deep breath, you've always loved Vinnie ever since you both were in high school. You know you should be happy for him but the thought of him loving someone else breaks your heart.

You move a few curls outta his face. "Who is she?" you smiled. Still wanting to support him over anything.

Vinnie took a deep breath and looked at you. "She the girl I been in love with since high school. The same girl I think about before going to sleep and the girl I think about waking up. My best friend. The girl I see myself marrying and having kids with."

Happy tears fill your eyes and Vinnie captures your lips on his. "I love you y/n, I love you so much."

You tackled him and kissed him back making you both fall back on the bed. Vinnie smiled into the kiss. You prepped little kisses all over his face.

"I love you too Vinnie"

Vinnie moved on top of you not breaking the kiss. It started slow and passionate. Both of you feeling a rush of emotion after hiding how you both feel for each other only for you both to have the same feelings for each other.

Vinnie's hands start to roam your body. Without a second thought vinnie pulls down your skirt. You let out a moan. Vinnie lets out a chuckle and kisses you again.

"Baby you gotta be quite wouldn't want others to know how desperate you are for my cock"

You try to hold in a moan. Vinnie is just admiring and worshiping your body. In one swift move he hooks his fingers to your panties pulling them off.

He starts kissing your thighs, you letting out another moan.

"Baby, I will stop if you cant keep quiet." he teased

You bit into the sheet, getting frustrated with his teasing.

Vinnie takes off the last of your remaining clothing and kisses your stomach.

"Don't be impatient baby I'm want to worship this sexy little body of yours until you're screaming my name."

Vinnie was about to continue until he realized something.

"Shit babe I don't have a condom maybe Justin-"

You pulled him into a kiss. "And who says we need one?"

He starts attacking your neck leaving love bites and hickeys.

"Baby girl once we cross this line we wont be coming back. This means you are mine and mine alone."

In the blink of an eyes Vinnie was now fully nude too.

He starts kissing down your stomach stoping at your inner thigh. "Can't wait to taste every inch of you" Without a warning he enters to fingers into you.

"This sweet little cunt is all mine" He removes his finger and put them in your mouth.

"Vinnie stop teasing I need you now." you moan

"Such an impatient little thing aren't we? But only because you are my good girl you can have this dick now."

He positioned himself at your entrance and started rubbing the tip of his thick cock against your folds. At this point you both didn't care if the others heard you were a moaning mess.

"That's it princess take my cock like a good girl let everyone hear your pretty little moans." He praised you as he kept thrusting. He groan as he felt you clenching around him.

Your moan kept getting louder. "Baby I wont be able to hold in it any longer."

"Come for me baby girl, show me how much you love this big dick stretching out your tight little cunt."

That was your breaking point and you felt your orgasm rip through you making Vinnie follow right after.

You thought that was the end but it wasn't at least not for Vinnie. He kept going. "So pretty baby, letting me come in you. Is the thought of carrying my child getting you off?"

He picked up his pace. "Yes Vinnie, omg yes." You felt your next orgasm not too far behind.

"That's it babygirl. My good pretty girl" His thrusts were getting deeper. "Soon you'll be carrying my child no baby you will be carrying OUR child."

One final thrust and he releases his hot seed deep in you. Vinnie falls back on the bed and pulls you closer and kissing your head. Both of you feeling content and happy with what went down.

After a few minutes of coming back to earth you both are giggling and stealing a few kisses. Vinnie picking you up bride style to take you to the bathroom for a much needed bubble bath.

Until you hear a knock on the door. Only to hear Justin's voice from the other side. "Ya so can I be god father of mini vinnie or mini y/n?" he laughed.

[serenitylovesyou]

I C A N B E A B E T T E R B O Y F R I E N D

W A R N I N G ! ! - the story contains swearing, mommy kink, praise kink, swearing, sloppy makeout scene, and sex.

As i scroll on tiktok, laying on my bed, snuggling with my teddy bear and wiping my mascara off my eyes with my black hoodies sleeve. I sob some more as the message repeats in my head.

“i think we need to break up.”

how dumb was I to think he was the one for me

“sick bastard.” i whisper to myself. i get caught in a wormhole and overthink what ive done that cause him to end the relationship, maybe i spoke too much around him? or maybe i didnt text him enough, but he hates when i bother him too much. these thoughts go on for a few seconds until i get a text from my friend chris. ive known him for a while and i could talk to him about anything, he just responded from the text i sent a couple of minutes ago about the break up

I hear the door bell ring and i see him standing there at the white large door frame. i examine his black fresh love shirt and jeans, he holding flowers and chocolates to make me feel better

“i got these for you on the way here”

“thanks chris, you really didnt have to”

“well i did, and i got another thing for you…”

“what is it?

chris turns me around and guides me to my bed room, he pulls out of his back pocket a lingerie set.

“chris what the fuck?!” i say as i laugh mid sentence.

“put it on”

“you really went out of your way to get me t-”

“put it on.”

im shocked that he can go from immature to serious in a heartbeat. i put it on and i notice him checking out my figure.

“god.. your so hot.”

i can feel his blue eyes darting at my body then my chest for a few seconds. he gets close and pushes me on the bed. his lips crash into my and he caresses my chest and slowly tries to slip it off. i moan to the touch of my sensitive chest and he pulls away for a second.

“i hope you know i can always be a better boyfriend then him. this will be proof..”

he slips off my panties and puts them in his pocket and unbottons his jeans and flips me over. he teases me by putting the tip on my whole. he slowly puts the tip in and starts to thrust back and forth and picks up the paste. my fingers claw on the sheets.

“mommy your doing so good for daddy, taking my cock like the good girl you are.”

i feel my self getting close and so is he, he picks up the paste even more and im grunting and panting like crazy.

“oh f- fuck.. im close, cmon mommy be a good girl for daddy and let me release in you ma.”

a few seconds later he cums inside me and i slowly cum after. he pulls out and wipes sweat of his forehead. he lays down on my bed next to me and we sit in silence for a few seconds then he looks at me.

“you should always know im always the better choice.” and he was right, this was way better then my ex.

I H O P E Y O U E N J O Y E D !

T H I S I S M Y F I R S T E V E R F I C I W R O T E S O I M S O R R Y I F I T S B A D !

[hinamie]

to moving forward

[umblrspectrum]

i got lazy in the second panel and didnt feel like coloring or whatever bite me

[skunkes]

reposting some old doodles i still enjoy a bit

[rinbylin]

"what is the image of the ideal person..."

[dayurno]

agh….. there are a lot of little things about kevin’s treatment in tkm especially that really hurt me, but the whole situation with telling wymack is the worst of it. give our boy a break 😭😭😭😭 he’s struggling!

SO MEAN TO HIM i was just talking to luni liaisun about this yesterday but the way kevin is blamed for so many things that are not at all his fault (neil going to evermore out of his own volition, kayleigh hiding that he's wymack's son, neil asking him to lie about his past and not tell the foxes that he's the butcher's son) and subsequently isolated from the group because of that is insane LOL i think kevin and andrew get a pretty similar treatment from the upperclassmen but by the end of tkm andrew has been 'humanized' to them through neil while kevin hasnt yet shown the threshold of humanity needed to be treated like a person worthy of grace and understanding

this is mostly a personal opinion and can be totally disregarded from canon intentions but to me kevin's isolation from the foxes is very relevant to my own experiences of navigating the world while noticeably neurodivergent, and its one of the things that brought me closer to kevin's character in the first place. i think while reading it is easy to agree with how the world at large (and even kevin himself at times) thinks kevin is, but kevin's crime really is that he's weird even among people who are weird; he's annoying and he's overinvested and he's programmed and when you're neurodivergent that's three of the top reasons why people choose to deny you kindness and humanity and understanding. i'm not sure where i was going with this and i'm not the best at articulating my thoughts on this subject, and of course kevin is annoying and intense, but that's not. illegal. you know? a person being annoying to you shouldn't make them an easy target for all of your frustrations and that's, ultimately, a very Autistic Experience

[mattsturnioloz]

Then I lost you: Pt 3.

Part 1, Part 2.

Summary: Matt's career as a youtuber takes a toll on his 4 year relationship with his girlfriend, putting it on hold. Will it ever be the same again?

Pairings: Y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Warnings: angst, crying, cursing, anxiety, mentions of depression, unsolved angst, mentions of slighty physical argument.

A/N: (i’m so exhausted but y’all have been hyping me up so it’s giving me motivation to keep writing, get some tissues readyyyy👅)

The uber driver pulls up to the house and I say my thank you’s before getting out the backseat and closing the door. I go up to the front door and reach for my purs- my purse. FUCK! MY PURSE. I sigh. I must’ve left it at top golf. I don’t want to text Matt.. Not after our argument. But i’m stuck outside. Fuck it, i’ll text Nick. I open my phone and I open nicks contact.

Messages

Y/n: Hey Nick, I left my purse with my keys over there, do you think you can grab it for me please?

Nick: Yea sure.

I was just about to type out a message but nick sent another text.

Nick: oh wait, Matt already grabbed it.

oh.

Y/n: oh okay thanks.

Nick: Are you guys okay? Are YOU okay?

Y/n: I’m pissed at him, he’s been so distant and i’ve just been trying to talk to him more and spend time with him, then he just snapped at me.. in front of everyone too.

Nick: Yea that wasn’t right, I told him to go apologize and he genuinely looked guilty but then he came back all pissy and told me and chris that you guys just argued more.

Y/n: Yea, and i’ll admit that I shouldn’t have shoved him but I was just so mad and hurt that I acted on anger.

Nick: Understandable, I need to shove him all the time LMAO😭

Y/n: LMAOO😭 Trust me I KNOW. When are you guys coming home? i’m stuck outside until you guys get here.

Nick: We’re already on our way so about 20 minutes now.

20 minutes?? Im freezing.

Y/n: oh okay, see you soon. Love you :)

Nick: Love you too, see you soon :)

———- ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆———-

I sit on the ground slumped against the door and wait for Matt, Nick and Chris to get here. The air so cold that my skin gets itchy and stings when I scratch at it and my face feels hot from all the crying I did. I see them pull up and my heart stops. I’m scared to see Matt. I don’t want to see Matt.

I feel my heart start to beat out of my chest. The beating affecting my vision, pumping with the beat. My anxiety making my hearing heighten. Making me focus on all the things I hear.

The sound of them shutting the doors of the car. The sound of the night wind gusting past my body. The sound of the car beeping when matt locks it. The sound of their feet on the wet cold rubble, getting closer and closer. The sound of the raindrops from the roof, falling on a random empty tin barrel across the street.

Im caught out of my daze when they reach me and I wave hi to Nick and Chris who both flash me a smile. I fidget with my rings nervously as Matt unlocks the front door, not sparing me a glance ever since they got here.

They start to walk inside after Matt opens the door, and I let go of a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I take one last breath of the fresh air outside before I follow them in, immediately being hit with the smell of the ravioli I made before we left.

I walk to Matt and I’s shared bedroom closing the door behind me. I grab some pj’s and a towel to take a shower since I smell like wet dog from being outside in the cold for so long.

I open the door and when I do Matt is there and I feel my chest tighten. We just stare at eachother and I secretly wish for him to say something. anything. Instead he brushes past me walking into the room. My heart aches and I feel tears well up in my eyes again, a few falling as I walk to the bathroom, shutting the door.

I take a deep breath and wipe my tears trying to keep my composure. I turn on the shower before undressing myself and I step in, feeling the warm soothing water wander my body.

After I showered, I get out and dry my body, head to toe before wrapping my hair in a towel. I change into shorts and a t-shirt before brushing my teeth and grabbing my dirty clothes from the floor then I open the bathroom door, leaving and tossing the dirty clothes into the wash.

I walk into Matt and I’s bedroom and I don’t look at him but from the corner of my eye and I can see him sitting on his side of the bed, slumped against the headboard, scrolling through his phone. I take the towel off my head and rest it on Matt’s gaming chair to dry before making my way to my side of the bed.

I get under the covers, my back facing Matt as I get comfortable. There’s an awkward silence. Nothing feels the same anymore. I feel depressed and anxious and I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I close my eyes hoping to get some sleep after the shitty day I had.

———- ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆———-

Days turn into weeks and Matt and I haven’t even talked since the day we argued. The bed feels emptier and emptier as the days pass even though he’s still there. I’ve had enough and this time before bed I decide go speak to him.

“M-Matt..” I ask with a shaky voice. I get no reply. “Matt.” I say louder. “What Y/n.” He says in a rude tone. “Can we talk? please?” I plead. He lets out a long sigh and he sits up to look at me for the first time in weeks, So I do the same.

I look into his icy blue eyes. God, how i’ve missed them… except they were sharper, colder. “Listen, I just want to say that i’m sorry, and miss you so much, I- ”

“Stop.” He says, cutting me off. “I don’t want to hear you say sorry. I just- i’m not happy anymore and I can tell you feel the same way.” He says looking right into my eyes. His gaze sharp.

My hearts drops and feels like it’s sinking into the pit of my stomach. I want to cry, I want to cry so bad but I try to hold my tears back. Deep down, I know what he’s saying is true. We’re not happy anymore.

“Look.. Of course I love you y/n, I love you so much you don’t even understand.” He says. cupping my face, his thumbs gliding across my cheeks, and I break into silent sobs, already knowing where this is going. “But it’s hard.. hard being in a relationship when I also have the career that I have.” He continues.

“N-no! w-we can make this work just-jus- PLEASE-” I practically yell, sobbing as I grab his hands from my face, kissing them before gripping them in my hands in front of my chest. I know I look pathetic begging him to stay with me, but I can’t help it, I can’t lose him. I love him too much. He pulls his hands away.

“N-no w-what are you do-“ I say, having a cold feeling running down my spine and all throughout my body. “JUST STOP! STOP Y/N!” he interrupts, yelling at me. “Can’t you see?! this isn’t working!! it’s not working anymore baby..” His voice cracks.

I look down, my sobs stopping. I feel numb and empty. Like everything good I had in my life came crashing down. Like I have no future. Not if he’s not in it.

1,277 words.

A/N: (I am tired yall omggg. Im so sorry to do yall like this but I had no choices😖 I’ll most likely write part 4 tomorrow or wednesday. Depends on how i’m feeling :) thank yall for the support i appreciate it!!)

Taglist: @watercolorskyy @imwetforyourmom @starzinasblog @urfavstromboli @sturniqloo @star-yawnznn @h3arts4harry

[puppyeared]

i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand

[faunandfloraas]

It is kinda funny seeing people talk about Seungmin lately because he definitely has gotten more bold and confident for sure. He's also just getting opportunities to be perceived as an individual on his own as well for the first time in a while but it's still jarring to see people be like Aw he was always such a quiet goodie two shoes little nerd and it's like...... he was the one to leave and seek out his own vocal coach and blatantly talk about it, which of course lead to I.N and Lee Know also doing the same, he was the one to go on bubble and tell off sasaengs who used to camp outside their old dorm for invading members privacy but also because it effected other residents and staff at the complex, something that i'm certain upper management wouldnt have been happy about, and he wasn't curt or nice about it either. like he's never actually been a wallflower, he's always had a pretty strong backbone and seems to stick to his principals, its not really new.

[ourfag]

i think part of the resistance i’ve seen in response to the view of ed as an abuse victim—not just the view of izzy as someone who abused ed, but of ed as someone who was abused by him, as opposed to interpretations that pursue an image of Nuance and Complexity (unnecessarily, because their dynamic has heaps of both, but there seems to be a popular impulse to conflate complexity with shared culpability) by characterizing their relationship as being toxic/unhealthy in equal reciprocity, or as “mutually abusive” (oxymoron)—i definitely see the influence of racism there, but i think the racism is also working to amplify an adjacent issue where we tend to receive very specific cultural messaging about What An Abuse Victim Looks Like, and ed is excluded from a lot of that criteria.

he’s outspoken. he’s boisterous. he’s Very Cool and he Wears Leather. he’s physically bigger and browner than the person mistreating him. he spends the first season with a big grey beard, he’s covered in tattoos, he projects the image of A Man’s Man, to say nothing of his being a man in the first place. we see him get aggressive and we see him get angry (and sometimes we even see both at the same time). we see moments where he’s surly, prickly, insensitive, arrogant. his survival techniques and trauma responses incur collateral damage to other people, and in the second season this extends into affecting people we actually sympathize with. he’s extremely private about expressing fear. without examination, his professional relationship to izzy seems to position him as the one with the power slanted in his favor.

most damningly, we see him react multiple times to izzy’s abuse with physical violence. this is behavior that gets referenced all the time in the construction of narratives condemning subjects of physical abuse, let alone emotional abuse. which is why writing that intends for its audience to interpret a character as being unambiguously A Victim Of Abuse will often, for simplicity’s sake, avoid showing the character regularly engaging in anything of the kind.

and again, all of these departures from the image of The Model Victim are compounded by his being a man of color.

without any of the shorthand designed to point a big flashing arrow at his mistreatment, all we have left to work with are the words and actions we see from ed and izzy onscreen. who instigates conflict, and how does the other respond? how are they able or allowed to respond? how do we see them speak about each other to outside parties? does one go out of their way to control or isolate the other? what consequences does either party stand to face in saying “no” to the other? in acting against the other’s wishes? in trying to leave the relationship? when either of them attempts these things, how do we see the other respond?

i realize and appreciate what people are driving at when they garnish their analysis with disclaimers that they’re not saying ed’s just a poor innocent abuse victim, they’re not saying he’s a perfect angel who’s never done anything wrong, and that’s true, but these are points already contained implicitly in statements like “this show’s protagonists act like human people” and “ed’s emotional struggles are portrayed in a realistic and believable way.” my assumption is that these disclaimers are anticipatory responses to worst-faith interpretations of any discussion that attributes any victim status to ed whatsoever, so i definitely sympathize with their inclusion, but a (very small) part of me still worries about them potentially reflecting or reinforcing a belief that there is any way for someone to behave towards their abuser that imparts a responsibility for them to make right whatever damage the abuser receives, or for that matter any degree of ambiguity over their status as an abuse victim in the first place.

part of what i find so gratifying about ed as a character is that i don’t feel like the show’s writing is pressuring me to consider that ambiguity at all. which was a really nice thing for me to discover!

and tbh—did using ed to deconstruct The Model Victim even factor into the writers’ agenda?? ive got no clue. im guessing no? ??maybe?? probably not?? but if you create a main character whose central premise is that he feels trapped in a performance of exaggerated masculinity that he’s desperate to escape, and then you set him up with a character premised on embodying a tangible obstacle against that escape, then i guess that’s the natural shape your story’s gonna be inclined to take