#and that’s why she almost shoved my head through a sliding glass door as a teenager

[rose-tinted-nostalgia]

nothing like disassociating in the kitchen while your drunk mother goes on and on about your wasted potential & how difficult you are to love.

[deliciousangelfestival]

Another Ending - 1 | Bucky Barnes

Character: ex!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Summary: It was supposed to be a short week watching over your niece, who loves romance books. She thought you were just a normal aunt, but it turns out you have secrets.

Tags: Spies, action, threat, offense, fight scene, violence, romance.

Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5 , Chapter 6 , -

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The weight of the assassin's body presses down on you, pinning you to the ground as his sword hovers dangerously close to your throat. Every muscle in your arms strains as you hold your gun up, barely keeping the blade away from your neck.

The cold metal of the sword gleams under the dim light, a stark reminder of how close you are to death. His eyes, hidden behind the mask, are unreadable, but you can feel the murderous intent radiating from him.

Sweat drips down your forehead, mixing with the dirt and blood on your face as you grit your teeth. With every ounce of strength, you manage to growl, "You're dead to me."

For a split second, you see it—hesitation. The assassin’s grip falters, his focus wavering. That’s all you need. With a desperate shove, you push him off, the sword sliding away from your neck as you scramble to your feet. Your heart pounds in your chest as adrenaline takes over, and you start running, not daring to look back.

The echoes of your past, the regrets, and the pain are left behind as you sprint away. You know that you’ve bought yourself only a few precious seconds, but at this moment, it’s enough. You leave the assassin behind, along with everything that once bound you.

🥀🥀🥀🥀

The lodge is warm and inviting, nestled comfortably by the edge of a tranquil lake. Large windows allow sunlight to pour in, casting a golden glow across the rustic wooden floors. The living room is cozy, with a soft, earth-toned sofa positioned near a stone fireplace. You push the sofa slightly, adjusting its angle to better face the window, where the view of the lake creates a peaceful backdrop.

As you finish, the sound of the doorbell rings through the house. You straighten up, smoothing a hand over your clothes before heading to the door. When you open it, a smile crosses your face.

Standing there is Lori Grant, your niece. She’s dressed in a green shirt and black pants, her short hair with bangs framing her face beneath thick glasses. A pink backpack is slung over one shoulder, and she’s dragging a suitcase that looks far too big for her small frame.

“Hello, Aunty,” Lori greets you, her voice bright with excitement.

“Where’s your mom?” you ask, glancing past her.

“She just left,” Lori replies, stepping inside and immediately struggling with the weight of her suitcase. She lets out a frustrated “Ugh” as it catches on the doorstep.

You can’t help but chuckle softly. “Let me help you with that.” Gripping the handle, you lift the suitcase easily, though you wonder why a 13-year-old needs so much luggage.

As you bring the suitcase inside, you ask, “Are you hungry? I bought some tofu for you.” Your older sister’s voice echoes in your mind, reminding you of the strict health-conscious diet she keeps Lori on. She’s made a name for herself online with her healthy recipes, and now she’s on a book tour promoting her new cookbook.

Lori looks up at you, her eyes filled with a mix of relief and hope. “Aunty, I’m so excited to be here. I can finally get away from the food my mom makes.”

You laugh, a warm, understanding sound. “Oh, thank goodness. How about fried chicken or lasagna?”

Lori’s face lights up, her hands clasping together as if in prayer. “Why not both?” Her eyes shimmer with anticipation, almost teary at the thought of indulging in something she’s missed.

“Yes!” you reply with a grin, already planning the feast.

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

The two of you cook together, filling the kitchen with the mouthwatering aroma of fried chicken and lasagna. The sizzle of the food and the warmth of the stove creates a cozy atmosphere, and before long, you’re both sitting at the table, enjoying the meal.

Lori, barely looking up from her book, eats with a hearty appetite, tearing into the fried chicken and savoring the lasagna.

You glance at her, amused by how engrossed she is in her book. It’s refreshing to see someone her age so absorbed in reading rather than staring at a screen. She’s been glued to that book ever since she arrived.

“Is it a good book?” you ask, taking a sip of your water.

“Yes. The best,” she replies without lifting her eyes from the pages.

You smile and ask, “What’s the book about?”

At that, Lori snaps the novel shut and looks at you with excitement blazing in her eyes, as if she’s been waiting for this moment. “Oh, Aunty, this is the best book! It’s full of adrenaline, mystery, and romance.”

You raise your eyebrows and nod slowly, recognizing the same spark in her that your older sister often has. “Let me guess, a royal romance?”

Lori shakes her head enthusiastically. “No. It’s set in modern day. It’s an enemies-to-lovers story where both are spies from different sides. They have to decide between love and their duty.”

You nod again, your expression thoughtful. “That’s impossible in the real world.”

Lori huffs, rolling her eyes playfully. “That’s why it’s fantasy, Aunty. Geez, you sound just like my mom.” She returns to her book, burying herself in the story again.

You chuckle softly, setting your glass down as you gather your plate and stand up. “Well, usually betrayal happens in those stories.”

Lori looks up, her eyes wide with enthusiasm. “That’s right! There’s a part where the male character betrays the female character.”

Your hand slips, the plate clattering into the sink, but thankfully it doesn’t break.

“Aunty, are you okay?” Lori asks, concern in her voice.

“I’m fine. My hand just slipped,” you say, brushing it off with a smile.

Lori gets up, carrying her plate to the sink. “I’m already done. I’ll help you with the dishes.”

“Thank you,” you reply, appreciating her help.

As you both wash the dishes, you ask her about life at school. Lori tells you all about her friends, her classes, and the things that make her happy.

“Do you have a crush at school?” you ask, a teasing note in your voice.

Lori hesitates, a slight blush coloring her cheeks. “Well… there is one boy. His hair and smile remind me of the male character from the spy book.”

You nearly drop the spatula but manage to catch it just in time. What’s gotten into you today?

“What about you, Aunty?” Lori asks, her tone curious.

“Me?” you respond, a bit caught off guard.

“While living in this lodge, have you ever met a farmer with a six-pack, a cute café owner, or a cool police officer?” Lori asks, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

You gasp, her question catching you by surprise. “Your mom mentioned you’ve become quite the chatterbox.”

“Aunty, your life is a dream. You have it all—except a boyfriend,” Lori says matter-of-factly. She doesn’t fully understand what you do for a living, but she knows from her mom and grandparents that you’ve traveled the world and are now enjoying the fruits of your hard work.

You place your hands on your hips, eyeing her with a mock sternness. “How long have you been staying with Grandma?”

“Three weeks,” Lori answers, wiping a plate dry with a clean cloth.

“That explains it,” you say with a chuckle, ruffling her hair playfully. Your mother has a habit of prying into your love life, and you’ve overheard her sighing over the phone, saying, ‘I’m afraid she’ll die single.’

“But seriously, Aunty, why are you still single?” Lori asks, her eyes wide with innocent curiosity.

You look at her, a sigh escaping your lips. “When you’re older, you’ll understand that life is complicated. There’s no guarantee of a happy ending.”

“Seems like you don’t believe in romance anymore,” she says, her voice soft but probing.

“Lori…” you begin, but her words strike a chord in you. Kids have a way of getting straight to your feelings. You head to the living room, trying to shake off the conversation and turn on the TV. With a sigh, you throw yourself onto the couch.

Lori follows you, still determined to rekindle your belief in romance. But then, something catches her eye. “Aunty, what’s on the second floor?”

“Just a storage room. Full of dust and spiders,” you reply, waving a hand dismissively.

“Can I go up there?” she asks, her enthusiasm barely contained.

“Go ahead,” you say, smiling at her eagerness.

As soon as the words leave your mouth, you hear her running feet thudding up the stairs. You shake your head, chuckling to yourself. What happened to the little girl who was afraid of spiders? Maybe the influence of that action-packed novel, the fantasy world, pulled her in.

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

Lori’s eyes lit up with excitement as she explored the second floor, her steps quickening with each new discovery. It felt like a treasure hunt to her, the dusty corners and forgotten items fueling her curiosity.

She opened old boxes, sifted through forgotten knick-knacks, and rummaged through piles of clutter. Her heart raced with the thrill of the search, every creak of the floorboards adding to the sense of adventure.

Then, tucked away near the Christmas decorations, she spotted a plain, unassuming box. It didn’t look like much, but something about it caught her attention. With a soft gasp of anticipation, she opened it and found an old, bulky laptop inside. The device was covered in dust, its once sleek surface now dull and scratched.

“Wow,” Lori whispered, her eyes widening in awe. She lifted the laptop carefully and opened it, running her fingers over the keys. “Clicky, clicky. Love this keyboard,” she said, delighting in the tactile response of the keys beneath her fingers.

Unable to contain her excitement, Lori ran downstairs to find you, clutching the laptop in her arms like a prized possession. “Aunty, look what I found! This is so old, and I love the sound it makes!”

You glanced up and your eyes widened in surprise. “Where did you get that?” you asked, a mix of surprise and concern in your voice.

“Near the Christmas decorations. Can I turn it on?” she asked, her eyes shining with eagerness.

You shook your head, a hint of hesitation creeping into your tone. “It’s been a long time since I turned it on,” you admitted, memories flickering at the edge of your mind. You had pretended the laptop didn’t exist for so long that it had slipped from your thoughts entirely.

“I’ll throw it away,” you said, reaching out to take the laptop from her.

But Lori quickly pulled it back, guarding the laptop protectively. “Even if it’s broken, I could use this for throwback videos,” she argued, her determination evident.

You sighed, seeing the pleading look in her eyes. “Fine. You can have it,” you relented.

“Thank you!” Lori beamed, her smile so bright that any irritation you felt melted away. She hugged the laptop close and dashed off to the guest room, eager to play with her new toy.

Inside her room, Lori’s excitement was palpable. She carefully plugged the charger into the old laptop and pressed the power button, holding her breath in anticipation. But the screen remained dark, the laptop unresponsive.

Her enthusiasm waned slightly, but she didn’t give up. Determined, she searched online for ways to fix old laptops, flipping the device upside down to look for a serial number or brand name. But the markings were too faded to read.

Her hope began to crumble as she realized the laptop might never work again. With a sigh, she set it aside and opened her suitcase, revealing stacks of novels inside. This was the real reason she had wanted to stay with you—to immerse herself in her books without anyone bothering her.

As the night wore on, the clock crept closer to 10 p.m. You yawned, feeling the weight of the day settle in, and turned off the TV. Before heading to bed, you decided to check on Lori. When you peeked into her room, you found her already fast asleep, curled up with a new book clutched in her hands.

You smiled softly, understanding now what was in her suitcase. With a gentle chuckle, you carefully adjusted her sleeping posture and tucked her in, whispering, “Good night.”

As you left, you saw the old black laptop still plugged in, silently charging in the corner. It had been nearly seven years since you last thought about it. You shook your head, a mix of relief and resignation washing over you. It was better if that thing stayed dead, buried in the past where it belonged.

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

The next morning, Lori woke up feeling cozy under the blankets. She glanced around, realizing she must have fallen asleep while reading her book again. The comforting silence in the room was a welcome change from the usual yelling of her mother.

This is why staying with you was such a great idea. She turned her attention to the old laptop, remembering she had left it charging all night.

With renewed hope, she quickly jumped out of bed and moved to the laptop. She pressed the power button, but the screen remained stubbornly black. Disappointment settled over her like a heavy fog.

Then, she heard it—the faint hum of the laptop’s fan. Her eyes widened, and a gasp escaped her lips. She clapped her hands together in excitement. “Yes!”

Just then, you called from the kitchen, your voice carrying cheerfully through the house. “Lori! You’ve woken up? I’ve made breakfast.”

“I’m not hungry yet,” Lori replied, her focus still on the laptop, waiting for the screen to light up.

“It’s bacon and eggs,” you added, a hint of a smile in your voice.

The mention of bacon and eggs immediately captured Lori’s attention. It had been ages since she’d had a breakfast like that. “I’m coming!” she called out, her voice filled with enthusiasm.

Without another thought, Lori dashed out of her room, leaving the old laptop to continue its quiet struggle to turn on. Her excitement for breakfast had completely overshadowed her frustration with the laptop, and she hurried to the kitchen, eager for the delicious meal you had prepared.

After breakfast, Lori returned to her room, and her excitement about the old laptop reignited. As she entered, she was stunned to see that the laptop had finally powered up completely.

Her eyes widened in disbelief as she stared at the outdated app icons, which looked dull and unappealing. Despite their lack of charm, something else caught her eye: the email application.

Curiosity piqued, Lori navigated to the email app and discovered a list of old emails. She wondered if the laptop could connect to Wi-Fi. To her delight, it could. She connected it and noticed a new notification. Her heart raced as she clicked on it, only to find a single new email dated five years ago.

“This is like something out of a novel,” Lori whispered to herself, her fingers trembling slightly as she opened the email.

Her gasp was audible when she realized it wasn’t spam or a work email—it was a love letter. She read the email with growing excitement:

Subject: An Apology and a Request

Hi,

I hope this message finds you well. I’ve been carrying a heavy heart and wanted to reach out, even though it’s been a while. I left the organization and have started a new life, but I’ve realized that it won’t feel complete without you.

I’m deeply sorry for everything that happened and for the pain I caused you. I know that I have no right to ask for anything, but if there’s any chance for us to meet and talk, I’d really like that. I’m not expecting anything, but I hope we can find some closure.

Yours,

B.B

Lori’s eyes sparkled with excitement. This was even better than the romance novels she had read. She couldn’t believe her aunt had an ex who had been missing her all this time and had finally reached out after five years.

Feeling a burst of inspiration, Lori unplugged the laptop and raced downstairs to find you. “Aunt! Look! Look! Someone sent you an apology letter!” she exclaimed, her voice filled with excitement.

You were busy preparing to head out to your bee farm, dressed in your suit. The sight of the old laptop suddenly turning on and Lori’s enthusiasm about the email caught you off guard. You knew exactly who had sent it, and it brought a wave of mixed emotions.

With a sigh, you closed the laptop, noticing Lori’s disappointed look. You knelt to her level, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Lori, sometimes it’s best to leave the past where it is.”

“But…” she started, her voice trailing off.

You stood up, adjusting your head protection for the farm. “Just enjoy your time here,” you said gently, then headed out of the house.

Lori sighed, her heart heavy with the sadness in your voice. She could sense the pain behind your words and felt that maybe this person was someone special to you. A sudden idea struck her, and she rushed back to her room, placed the old laptop on the table, and began typing a reply.

With her knowledge of romance novels, she crafted a short but heartfelt response:

Subject: Re: An Apology and a Request

Hi B.B,

Thank you for your message. It was a surprise to read your letter after all these years. I appreciate your honesty and the courage it took to reach out. I’m still processing everything, but I’m grateful for your apology.

Maybe one day we can talk, but for now, I hope you find the closure you’re seeking.

Take care,

Y/N

Satisfied with her words, Lori clicked “Send,” feeling accomplished. She hoped her reply would bring peace to her aunt and the sender.

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

A few days passed, and Lori grew increasingly nervous. She kept checking the email, but no new notifications appeared, only that eerie computer-generated voice. You noticed her restlessness; she fidgeted with her fingers and paced around the room.

“What’s wrong? Feeling bored?” you asked, trying to lighten the mood. “We could go out for a while, get some fresh air.”

“Eww… no,” Lori replied, wrinkling her nose at the thought of the hot sun and heavy gear. She enjoyed the freedom of staying with you, but she wasn’t enthusiastic about adventures.

“I’d rather stay here, curled up with my book—” Lori was cut off by the familiar, unsettling notification sound.

You flinched at the sound too, a chill creeping down your spine. Lori quickly ran to the laptop, her heart racing with excitement as she saw the red dot notification. She opened the email and skimmed the reply: "I received your message. We need to meet. I’ll find you soon."

“Aunty, look! This person wants to see you. Isn’t it romantic?” Lori said, her excitement palpable.

Romantic my ass, you thought, feeling a cold shiver as you read the email. You abruptly shut the laptop and started packing Lori’s things. Your sudden, frantic movements startled her.

“Change your clothes. Wear something practical and put on running shoes,” you instructed, your voice taut with urgency.

Lori’s eyes widened with concern. “Why? What’s going on?”

“Forget the books. We have fifteen minutes, Lori. Now!” You dashed to your room, grabbing essentials with swift, practiced motions.

Lori, bewildered but obedient, quickly followed your orders. Fifteen minutes later, both of you were ready and in the car. You sped away, your face set in grim determination.

In the passenger seat, Lori clutched the seatbelt tightly, her voice trembling. “Aunt…”

“Lori, did you not hear me? Some things are better left in the past,” you said, your tone cold and firm.

She nodded slowly, her anxiety mounting. “But why?”

Before she could ask more, a deafening explosion rocked the car. “BOOM!” The blast made Lori flinch as she turned to see your house engulfed in flames. Her face pressed against the car window, eyes wide with shock.

“Oh my God. Is that your house?” Lori’s voice was barely a whisper.

You kept your gaze fixed on the road, your face pale and determined. “This is the reality of espionage. The hardest part is when someone tries to kill you.”

Lori gasped, realization dawning on her. “You’re a real spy!”

You didn’t answer, but the silence was deafening—a resounding confirmation.

“And the person who sent the email is another spy!” she exclaimed.

“Yeah. But unlike the novels, we’re not looking to fall in love. We’re trying to kill each other.” Your words sent a shiver down her spine, the gravity of the situation settling in with chilling clarity.

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

At the gas station, you and Lori were picking up essential supplies. Your disguise—a dark hat, sunglasses, and a coat pulled tight—wasn't exactly subtle. But Lori's eyes sparkled with excitement.

“This is so cool!” she exclaimed, her voice brimming with admiration.

“It’s not,” you muttered, your voice strained as you tried to mask your growing unease. The thrill of the moment had been replaced by a harsh reality. “I’m taking you to your mom.”

Lori’s enthusiasm faltered as she noticed the tension in your body. “But Aunt… why are you running away if this person wants to see you?”

You sighed heavily. “Because—”

Your words trailed off as a shiver ran down your spine. You felt eyes on you and slowly turned to face the source of your unease. There he was, striding towards you with a purpose.

The man stood tall and lean, his dark hair tousled and his leather jacket catching the dim light of the gas station. His face was striking—handsome in a rugged, intense way. His presence radiated strength and determination.

“Bucky,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

Bucky didn’t break stride or acknowledge you. His pace quickened, and your instincts kicked in. You reached for your gun, but before you could draw it, a loud BANG! shattered the tense silence.

“Kyaaa!!!” The sound of the gunshot set off a wave of screams from everyone inside the store, including Lori. The chaos erupted around you, but you and Bucky remained focused.

You threw yourself in front of Lori, protecting her with your body. Bucky did the same, his gaze locked on the threats.

“You—” you started, trying to catch your breath.

“We don’t have much time,” Bucky cut you off, his voice a low growl. He grabbed your arm, pulling you up, and snatched his own gun. Without another word, he started firing, taking out the shooters one by one.

You joined him in the fray, your movements sharp and efficient. Bullets flew and bodies hit the floor. Bucky’s sharp eyes and quick reflexes contrasted with your precise, practiced shots.

“Your aim’s getting rusty,” Bucky grunted as he took down another opponent.

“Shut up,” you retorted, focusing on the task at hand.

In no time, the immediate threat was neutralized. You both made a break for your car, adrenaline surging. Bucky took the driver’s seat, his expression grim and focused.

“Wait…” you began, but Bucky cut you off.

“Just put on your seatbelt first,” he said tersely, glancing at you with an intensity that brooked no argument.

You complied, snapping the seatbelt into place as Bucky threw the car into gear. The ride was tense, an awkward silence hanging between you and Bucky. Lori, however, was brimming with curiosity.

She tugged at Bucky’s leather jacket, causing him to glance at her. The way she looked at him, her eyes wide with awe, reminded you of how she had always romanticized the world.

“Are you the one who sent that email to my aunt?” Lori asked, her voice tinged with a mix of excitement and expectation.

Bucky’s eyes widened slightly, but he didn’t respond, turning his attention back to the road.

Lori turned to you, her eyes glowing with revelation. “I get it. Both of you were spies! But you couldn’t be together because of your jobs! A forbidden love! This is so romantic!”

"!!!!!"

Your jaw dropped, and Bucky’s expression shifted to one of utter disbelief. The two of you exchanged a stunned look, unsure whether to laugh or feel embarrassed by Lori’s innocent but surprisingly accurate guess.

The air in the car seemed to crackle with the weight of her words, as the reality of your intertwined past and present hung in the balance.

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[rafeandonlyrafe]

new neighbor

words: 1.4k

warnings: 18+ only, public sex, fingering, strangers, i guess like nyc au?

“well, you’re new.” the man smirks, making you jump. his height intimidated you from the moment he entered the elevator.

“how could you tell?” you ask, cheeks blushing. new york city is far different from the midwest town you grew up in, and you know you stand out like a sore thumb.

“small building.” he shrugs. “im rafe.”

you stare at his outstretched hand for a second too long before realizing that you’re meant to shake it, shooting your palm forward and greeting him. “i’m y/n.”

“you like my hands?” rafe waves his fingers once you let go, noticing that you can’t take your eyes off of them.

“i-no-im sorry.” you snap your eyes to the floor, looking at your shoes.

“its okay, pretty.” rafe smirks, moving closer to you as the elevator reaches your floor, doors opening to reveal the hallway, only two units per floor.

“this is… this is my floor.” you try to step around rafe, but his long fingers wrap around your wrist. you don’t even try to pull away, letting him keep you in the elevator while the doors slide closed.

“let me be a good neighbor and welcome you to the building.” rafe smiles, the corner of his lip quirking up.

“how would you welcome me?” you ask. this isn’t the typical baked good or houseplanet usually given.

“you like my fingers so much, how about i put them inside you?”

“rafe-i-no! i don’t know you!” you shake your head, cheeks no doubt bright red.

“come on, pretty. we’ll stay right here in the elevator.” rafe tilts his head to the side, enticing you even more as his hand skirts up your arm, fingers ghosting over your skin until he reaches your neck, tipping your head back to look up at him.

“can i kiss you?” rafe asks.

“i-yes.” you nod. you’re not sure why you agree, why you’re about to allow a complete stranger to kiss you on an elevator in a building you just moved into, but rafe is so handsome, its almost like you’re unable to say no.

rafe lowers his head instantly, lips pressing against yours. he keeps the kiss gentle until you start to move your mouth in response, and then things move quickly as he presses your back against the cold elevator wall.

you moan into your new neighbors mouth, gripping his shirt to keep him close as his mouth explores yours.

“are you wearing panties under this pretty skirt?” rafe asks, keeping your head cradled in his palm while his free hand plays with the ruffles at the hem of your skirt.

“yeah.” you nod. to be honest, they’re not even cute panties, having put on a simple pair of underwear, certainly not expecting anyone to see them. 

“perfect.” rafe smiles, blue eyes trapping you while his hand delves under your skirt, moving slowly up your thigh until his fingertips reach your underwear, wrapping around them and tugging down.

“step out, pretty.” rafe says as they head towards the floor. you lift either foot so rafe can pull your panties away from you, a wet spot right where your cunt is. rafe looks at them briefly before they get shoved into his back pocket, making your eyes widen.

“consider it your gift to me, a thank you for the orgasm i’m about to give you.” rafe says before pressing his lips against yours in another kiss, not giving you any time to think about the consequences of your actions.

“rafe!” you squeal out when the elevator begins to move, heading back down towards the lobby.

“its okay, baby.” rafe turns so his back is also against the wall, his hand now hiding behind your body to rest on your waist. “just relax. i’ll take care of you, don’t worry.” you nod, clenching your thighs together as the elevator doors open, an elderly woman using her cane to shuffle on.

“hello there, mrs mcdonald.” rafe says, reaching with his long arm to press what must be her floor, not even needing to step closer for the button to light up. 

“rafe cameron, sweetheart, is that you?” she squints at the man standing next to you through a thick pair of glasses.

“it is.” rafe nods, his voice soft. “and this is our new neighbor, y/n. she’s a floor below you.” “oh, hello sweetheart!” mrs mcdonald says, clearly using that nickname for everyone younger than her.

“hello.” you smile, about to speak more when rafes hand moves down your back to grip your ass over your skirt.

“its alright.” rafe leans over, his voice in a whisper. “she’s basically blind and deaf. she won’t see how flustered you are.” “o-okay.” you nod, leaning more into rafe, turning your head to press your face into his shoulder.

“when is your sweet sister going to visit again?” she asks, grabbing onto the rail on the wall as the elevator comes to a stop on her floor.

“wheezie? she’ll be coming out to visit next month. i’ll make sure she stops by.” 

“good boy.” mrs mcdonald smiles before heading out of the elevator, moving slowly. “nice to meet you, y/n!” “nice to… nice to meet you too.” you manage to call out before the doors slide shut.

“god, now where were we?” rafe turns so your body is being pressed into the wall by his. rafes hand moves from your ass to your front, delving underneath your skirt. his fingers brush over your thighs teasingly before he suddenly kicks your feet wider, fingers suddenly rubbing over your clit.

“holy shit!” you squeal, head pressing back into the wall.

“i can tell you’ve got a pretty cunt just from feeling it.” rafe says, running his fingers through your folds, feeling your wetness soaking your thighs.

“you gonna let me fuck you sometime right?” rafe questions, lips pressing against yours before you can answer. 

“yeah.” you nod, his finger pushing inside your cunt, feeling just as long as when it was shaking your hand earlier. 

“maybe not in the elevator though, eh?” rafe laughs, his chuckle sounding casual despite the way you are falling apart next to him. “i’m penthouse, by the way.” you shouldn’t be surprised, of course with his confidence and attitude rafe would be at the top floor of the building. 

“now how about i give that pretty clit some attention?” he smirks, twisting his hand so he can keep one finger buried in your cunt while his thumb circles around your clit before rubbing over it, making you whine.

“moan for me. no one can hear. the apartment next to mrs mcdonalds been empty for months.”

“fuck!” you squeal out as rafe begins to thrust his finger, keeping his thumb against your clit. you moan for him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to keep yourself stable.

“there we go.” rafe smirks, moving faster as his free hand grabs the front of your shirt, tugging it down to get your bra underneath your collar, glad that you’re wearing a low cut shirt.

“let me see those pretty tits.” rafe reaches into your bra, pulling both your boobs out before leaning his head down, wrapping his lips around your nipple while his thumb and finger play with the other one.

“holy shit, rafe!” you squeal, thighs shaking as his fingers bring you closer and closer to the edge.

“cum for me. cum on my fingers.” rafe purrs out, his voice vibrating against your chest while he switches sides.

“yes! yes, rafe!” you scream out, reaching down to grip his wrist while your orgasm rocks through your body, wetness dripping onto the floor as rafe continues to rub you through it before easing his finger out of you, smirking while you breath heavily, eyes wide as he sucks the finger into his mouth, tasting you.

“put yourself together, pretty.” rafe says, glancing down at you. “you look like a wreck.”

you look down at your askew clothes while rafe presses the elevator button to take it up to the penthouse. you tug your bra back over your chest before adjusting your shirt, knowing there’s nothing you can do about the wetness dripping down your thighs without a towel.

the door dings as it opens straight up to what you assume is rafes front door. he steps out, letting out a sigh of a man happy to be home. you keep your back against the wall, still trying to control your breathing when rafe turns towards you. “aren't you coming?”

you burst forward with a strength you didn’t know your legs still possessed to beat the closing elevator doors.

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @wearemadeofstardust0 @leighbronk @starkeysheart @pradabambie @tobesolovelysstuff @alexiskirkland @rafestar @brioffthegrid @juniebugg @magicalyoura @die4niyahhh @mysticallystilinski

[desperate-gay]

millie bright x reader where reader plays for arsenal and they are sneaking around because they thought that their chelsea and arsenal teammates wouldn’t approve of them fraternising with the enemy as it were. in reality both teams already know and are seeing how much they can hint towards it and embarrass them without letting on that they know. maybe you could even in include some of the chelsea and arsenal girls teaming up to do this. sort of like romeo and juliet but make it comedy

Romeo & Juliet

Millie Bright x fem!reader

“-What are you doing here? Someone’s going to see you!” You whisper shout, pulling the person in by their wrist and peaking your head out the door into the hallway to see if anyone is around. Thankfully there wasn’t.

You were looking through your suitcase before a series of knocks interrupted you. A little confused as to why someone was knocking at your hotel door at 11 at night, you went to open the door and noticed it was your secret girlfriend Millie Bright.

The main reason your relationship is a secret is because of the color of your uniforms. Hers being the dark blue for Chelsea and yours being the bright red for Arsenal. Two players on rival teams falling in love; ironic isn’t it?

If you both played for the same country it would be a little different, but sadly, you don’t. What’s worse is that you play for the USWNT, everybody’s sworn enemy it feels like, although everyone loves you no matter where you’re from. They obviously don’t hate players from the country, but since they’re extremely competitive, they have to keep up their tough front.

“Well, nice to see you too, love.” Millie snickers, slumping down at the end of the hotel mattress with a big thump, squirming in her place to get comfortable. She opens her arms for you to slot yourself on her lap and hug your arms around her neck.

“Sorry, I’m so happy to see you. I’ve missed you.” You sigh, pecking her cheek softly while nuzzling your face into her neck, trying to get as close to her as you can. Her tattooed arm trails underneath your shirt, rubbing at your stomach as she presses tiny kisses along your jaw.

“I’ve missed you too. I have also missed letting the TV run while I get my way with you.” She whispers suggestively, continuing to trail kisses in any place she can reach, making you hum in pleasure.

“Ooo! Look at the sky!” You hop off the blonde’s lap and open the sliding door to go onto the balcony, leaving the defender winded by your sudden disappearance. She sighs with a fond smile, shaking her head before getting up to follow you.

Millie’s arms loop around your waist as her chin finds a place down on your shoulder. Her muscular figure wraps around you comfortably while you both gaze up at the stars in the sky.

“They’re beautiful, aren’t they?” You ask, rocking back and forth slowly with the taller girl’s body against yours.

“Almost as beautiful as you.” She teases, placing a kiss on your neck.

“You’re so cheesy.” You say in fake disgust with your tongue hanging out your mouth to prove your point further. Her fingers pinch your side, warning you to keep your mouth shut.

“I guess listening to Sam’s and Kristie’s calls all the time rubs off on ya.”

You both look at the sky and the people walking up to the hotel for a little bit until you catch a familiar blonde looking up at you with a puzzled face and a hand over her eyes to block the light from the lamppost. Of course, it had to be the Lionesses captain and your fellow Arsenal teammate.

“Shit! Mills go inside. Code red, I repeat code red!” Before your girlfriend can protest, you’re already shoving her through the glass doors and shutting it along with the curtains.

“Now what was that for?” Millie stands with her arms crossed over her chest, wondering why exactly their peaceful stargazing was interrupted by you yelling and pushing her into the hotel room.

“Leah might have just seen us from the sidewalk.” You bite your nails at the confession before peaking out the glass door to see if the girl is still down there. Running a hand through your hair, you begin to pace back and forth wondering if Leah has seen you with the Chelsea defender.

“Leah as in my England captain and your teammate Leah?” Millie asks, trying to process everything that just happened while making sure you’re talking about the same person.

Before you have the chance to answer, the sound of knocking appears at your door, causing your eyes to widen. You look out the peephole and notice Leah standing there with her familiar scowl on her face.

“Oh my god, we’ve gotta hide you.” You push at her back and drag her into the bathroom, gesturing for her to get into the shower.

“I don’t want to go in there!” Millie protests while whispering so she doesn’t alarm the girl who is currently still standing on the other side of your hotel door.

“Either you go in there right now, or you stay and explain to your captain that you’re in a long-term relationship with an Arsenal and United States player.”

“In the shower, I go.” She hops in so you can close the curtain right away and head over to the front door. You look at the mirror next to you and fix your appearance to the best of your ability.

Opening the door, you greet the other defender with a smile, “Hey, Lee. It’s pretty late, what are you doing here?”

You welcome Leah in, gesturing for her to sit either on your bed or on the little chair in the corner, but she chooses to stand.

“I just thought I’d say goodnight to my dearest friend, but I thought I saw someone else on the balcony with you.” She quirks an eyebrow towards you, waiting for you to answer her not-very-obvious question.

“Nope, just me.” You chuckle nervously.

After a few seconds of silence, Leah lets out a big sigh, “Thought I’d just say hey since I saw that you were up. Guess I’ll get goin’” Just when you’re about to think she’s leaving when she heads over to the door, she turns around and asks, “Do you have any extra tissues? Russo and Mccabe just finished watching The Notebook for the first time and used it all.”

“Umm yeah, I’ll go grab that for you-“

“No, it’s okay. I know where it is.”

Leah misses the panicked expression on your face when she heads into the bathroom. She looks under the sink and grabs the extra box before making her way back out by you. You almost sigh in relief when she doesn’t notice the tall figure standing behind your shower curtains, but you refrain yourself so she doesn’t ask questions.

“Goodnight, Lee. See you tomorrow.” You wave her out the door, closing it and locking everything you can so no one with a key card can get in. Hands grab at your waist making you jump at the sudden contact but relax hearing the familiar voice of your brick wall of a girlfriend.

“That was a close one. I think that calls for a long night of cuddles, don’t ya think?” She asks, jumping onto the mattress with her arms wide open, waiting for you to join her. You laugh at her childish pout and shuffle your body to fit into hers, resting your head on her chest.

“I love you.” You mumble sleepily.

Millie places a peck on your forehead whispering back, “I love you too, sweets. Get some sleep.”

—

“You actually saw Mills in the room with her?” Beth asks with a shocked expression on her face.

“Yes! Her bun was literally peaking over the shower curtain. Y/n/n thought I didn’t see Millie on the balcony with her when it was so obvious seeing how much bigger she is compared to our tiny Gooner.” Leah states as everyone rolls their eyes at yours and Millie’s attempt to hide your relationship.

The Chelsea and Arsenal players caught onto your relationship quickly when they caught you sneaking off into a materials closet to snog each other’s faces off. With the many attempts of the two of you trying to keep it a secret, they thought it would be fun to let it keep happening to get a little laugh in.

Everyone 100% supports you guys in every way. They think you both complement each other well and you’re basically a match made in heaven.

“Don’t get me started when I saw Millie get all lovesick on the phone a few weeks ago. When I asked her who it was, she tried to say it was Daly.” Sam shakes her head, taking a sip out of her drink. A bunch of the girls, both red and blue, decided to hang out in one of their rooms to have a meeting about you two.

“Do you think they’ll ever realize that they’re not as subtle as they think they are?” Niamh questions to which the whole group responds in a series of no’s, shaking their heads at your guys' obliviousness.

—

“Making my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass- ah!”

One second you’re walking around, next you’re being yanked away by an unknown source. You had time to spare before you had to go out on the pitch and practice, so you decided to stroll around and get a little pregame walk in.

“Beautiful singing there, love.”

“Warn a girl next time, almost gave me a heart attack.” You exclaim, pushing at her chest in fake offense which doesn’t even make her move an inch because of her string build.

She grips your waist and softly presses you up against the corner wall. Her lips begin to pepper all over your skin, from your cheeks to your collarbones.

“Mills, someone’s going to catch us.” You protest weakly, too consumed by the feelings of her kisses pressing lightly at all the right spots.

“We’re tucked away in a corner, no one will see us, darling.” Her voice vibrates against your neck, causing you to let out a soft giggle, melting the heart of your lover. “I miss you.”

You grab her cheeks with both of your hands and swipe the loose strands of hair that have fallen out of her bun. “You just saw me last night, baby. We’ll get to see each other again.”

“Yeah, but I had to sneak out in the early morning so no one would notice me leaving your room which is hardly romantic might I say.”

Your eyes remain on hers, roaming every detail of the different hues of blue splattered in her eyes. She smiles back at you and places her hand over yours that continues to stroke her cheek.

Snapping out of your little love bubble, you clear your throat and ask, “Is there any reason you stopped me from my regular pregame stroll?”

“Oh just wanted to come and wish you luck, but also let you know that there are no hard feelings after we destroy you.” She smirks, straightening her posture and showing off her new captain band.

“That’s so funny because I was just going to say the same thing.” Millie rolls her eyes at your mocking tone and threatens to walk away, but you grab her wrist and pull her back into you. “Good luck kiss?”

The defender huffs but leans in anyway, never being able to deny you. It first starts as an innocent peck but then you pull her back in for another and things start getting more heated. After a minute of her tongue in your mouth, you pull away gasping for breath while giggling slightly in the slight haze you’re in.

“Thank you for that, hope it makes you feel better after Arsenal beats Chelsea’s ass!”

And it turns out, you weren’t wrong. Arsenal won 2-1 with a goal from Lacasse and Russo. There were a few chances of you scoring a header but with a certain captain’s hands on your waist, whispering her thoughts about you had you distracted.

Safe to say that you’re not on your best game when playing against Millie Bright.

You’re now shaking hands with all of the other team when you approach the blonde. You both begin to talk while drinking out of your water bottles just chatting away. Millie leans in for a hug which you accept and take in her big embrace.

“Oi! You were already off kissin’, you can be separated for a little bit now.” An Irish accent interrupts you, making you pull away with a shocked look on both of your faces.

Your fellow Arsenal teammates stand next to Chelsea’s as they all stare at you two with amused expressions. Millie stands awkwardly, stuttering at the fact you two were caught while you gasp and point your finger at all of them.

“You all knew?!”

—

“Hardy har har, we get it. We weren’t as secretive as we thought we were.” You roll your eyes at everyone’s continuous teasing.

After the game, everyone agreed to go out and have a few drinks at the pub down the street since there’s a little break in the season and everyone has free time. The whole group besides you and Millie decided it was time to share all the times they either caught or suspected the two of you, many of the stories being incredibly embarrassing.

Millie is sitting on the booth with you on top of her, legs sprawled across her lap. One of her hands rests comfortably on the spot where your skin is exposed, right next to your belly button while her other holds onto her bottle of beer. You continue to sip on your cocktail as everyone turns to their separate conversations.

The blonde below you taps on your stomach, making you shift your attention to her, seeing her neck crooked up with her lips pursed. You let out a small laugh and lean over to press a few short but equally sweet kisses to her lips. Millie smiles in delight before the sound of fake gagging can be heard from across the table.

“Can’t you guys go swap saliva in the privacy of your own room?” Katie once again interrupts but ends up getting hit on the back of the head by Caitlin.

“You all better turn away because what I’m about to do is not PG!” Without warning, Millie grips your jaw with one hand and pulls you into a sloppy kiss, kissing the life out of you and dramatically making loud noises to peeve the other girls, causing your nose to crinkle at the disgusting sounds.

You push her away and hang your tongue out, showing your obvious fake displeasure. A few of the girls whooped at the public display of affection while others covered the eyes of the innocent ones. Everyone gets their laughs and jokes out, trying their best to patter on your so-called new relationship.

You’re laughing with Leah and Alessia about their little game disagreement when you notice how quiet Millie has been. You look over and see her staring into space so you wave your hand in front of her face, bringing her back onto earth with a small smile.

“Why don’t you let your hair down, baby? Loosen up a little.” You rub your thumb on the apple of her cheek while swiping away a strand of hair that fell down on her cheek.

“Mm, might have to wait till after we get to the hotel because the things I plan on doing to ya require my hair to stay out of the way.” A deep crimson red coats your cheeks before you look over to the side, sipping on your drink to avoid the lustful stare from the tattooed woman.

“Cheekyyy,” Sam says having slid over closer to you two for whatever reason.

Millie is quickly guiding you out the door, bidding your goodbyes to everyone and ignoring the wolf whistles that follow you out the door. After your rewarding night, you both equally decide to share your relationship with the world, so when you have up to thousands of notifications, you shut your phone and nuzzle your face right back onto your girlfriend’s chest.

—

liked by samanthakerr20 and 86,564 others

mbrighty04 rivals to lovers?? @y/nofficial

view all 720 comments

y/nofficial my favorite trope!

↳ mbrighty04 mine too!

flemingenthusiast y/n to chelsea?!

↳ y/nofficial ew.

↳ leahwilliamsonn she’s ours forever

samanthakerr20 they never shut up about each other

↳ mbrighty04 don’t get me started on you and kristie

[leviathanspain]

brooklyn baby

carmy berzatto x reader

synopsis: you couldn’t just not care, and he couldn’t either.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

carmy’s back was the first sight you saw when you woke up. you yawned, and nudged him, “carm.” you called out his name and pulled the blanket back. you sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed the sleep from your eyes. carmy didn’t stir, so you judged him again, “get the hell up, restaurant opens in a few hours.” he didn’t stir again and you rolled your eyes, getting up to walk over to his side of the bed.

“carm-“ you leaned down to try to wake him up but arms grabbed you before you even finished. you squealed as carmen pulled you back into the bed, his eyes half lidded as you smiled, “carmen! almost gave me a heart attack!” you shouted and hit his arm. carmy laughed, “sorry.” he murmured, holding you close to him, he pretended to fall back asleep.

“seriously though, get up.” you crawled back to your side of the bed and grabbed your phone out from under your pillow. you were texting fast, fast for a morning and carmy got concerned at your silence.

“what’s up?” he referenced your phone and you laughed nervously, putting it away, “just some family stuff. but-“ you shrugged, “i promised.” you looked into carmy’s eyes and he nodded, “yeah. yeah.” he finally got up, and walked into your bathroom without another word.

carmy had grabbed one of those cheap granola bars from your pantry before he bid you goodbye. “i’ll see you tonight?” he kissed your cheek, and you nodded, “hopefully. you know me.” you sighed, and carmy nodded, “just let me know. don’t go, no matter how much you’re tempted, hmm?” you nodded in response and he whispered a quick goodbye, leaving you alone.

hours had passed since carmy left. you were looking for your work laptop when after all the rummaging through your apartment, ended up with his wallet instead of your laptop. you flipped through the virtually empty wallet. just his i.d, a bunch of different business cards and his dazzling black american express. you snickered at the thought, but you closed the wallet.

amongst the wallet, you ended up finding his phone. “fuckin carm.” he left without anything, and he probably still hadn’t even noticed.

it was still early, so you could still catch him before he got so insanely busy he’d yell at you.

as you got ready to go, stuffing on whatever jacket you could find, a phone buzzed in your pocket. you ignored it and kept going, but the buzzing didn’t stop. you finally took a look at which phone it was and to your surprise, it was carmy’s with three missed calls from claire.

“richie!” you banged on the front door of the beef, “i see you, motherfucker, let me in!” you yelled, finger on the glass as you followed richies figure go into the kitchen. richie came back out with carmy, and they both unlocked the door for you.

carmy looked at you with surprise, “hey.” your eyes slid to richie and back to carmy, “can we talk or does this buttmuncher gotta babysit us?” richie scoffed, throwing his head back for a laugh, “you didn’t change.”

you rolled your eyes, “you didn’t either. moving from one berzatto to the other, might as well by the family whore, rich.” richie’s face slackened and he looked at you, eyes narrowed, “at least i’ve kept my pants on around the berzattos. yours seem to just slide right off.” he raised his eyebrows and walked off.

you couldn’t even bother with a comeback as finally carmy settled in front of you, “what happened? are you-“ he looked at you concerned but you inhaled sharply, “who the fuck is claire? and why is she calling you so early in the morning for?” you gave him his phone, shoving it at him, “you forgot this.” you pulled out his wallet, “and this.”

carmy took all his belongings before looking at his phone, he shrugged it off, “she saw me out- she recognized me but i didn’t know who she was-“

“how long ago was this, carm?” you crossed your arms, feeling sick as he kept talking.

“like a few days ago. but i gave her the wrong phone number, and she ended up getting my actual phone number..” he trailed off, and realized he looked worse than intended.

you sighed, “fucking bitch.” you closed your eyes and inhaled, “whatever.” you shrugged, stuffing your hands into your pockets.

carmy looked at you, surprised, “whatever?”

“do what you want carmen, just keep me out of it.” you waved your hand carelessly, walking towards the door.

carmy nodded, bothered by your lack of interest, “alright. yeah.” he didnt want to fight with you, not here at least, “i’ll see you later, hmm?”

you nodded, muttering a goodbye as you left.

richie clapped carmy’s back as you walked away, letting out a low whistle, “your balls are basically nailed to the wall, cousin.” he laughed, “all that shit about ‘we’re just friends’ wasn’t true was it?” he looked at carmy and shook his head.

carmy scoffed, “what are you saying, cousin?” he wiped his face and gazed down at his phone. across the screen appeared all the missed calls from claire.

“that woman is in love. and she fuckin hates you now.” he couldn’t help but laugh, especially as he walked away, looking back at carmy to catch another look at the dumbfounded expression on his face.

your lunch break couldn’t have come sooner. you had spent the morning since you left the restaurant looking up any information you could on claire. a lot had come up, and none of it made you feel any better.

she was basically a cookie cutter citizen. nothing wrong with her, but nothing spectacular either. it would make sense for her to want to reconnect with carmy, he was this worldly chef and she was this-

“am i crazy?” you set your phone down against the edge of your laptop, your sisters forehead was the only thing you could see. your research had done nothing but make you feel bad about yourself, and slightly insane.

“no. but i would be.” your sister replied, the connection had turned fuzzy and the facetime call soon turned into a regular call.

“how so?” you tapped the screen and your sister hummed, “because why else would she ask around for his real number when he gave her the wrong one?” you sighed, “i didn’t ask. i didn’t even ask why he would give her a fake one to begin with.” you cursed yourself slightly and your sister continued to talk, “i think you guys should just stop lying to yourselves and just date. honestly. because i hate getting calls over your relationship problems when you’re not even in a relationship.” her words, although a little hurtful, had been nothing but the truth.

carmy had found himself standing outside of your apartment door, unable to find the courage to knock.

as he raised his hand to knock, the door pulled open and you were already looking at him, eyebrows raised, “i’ve been waiting for twenty minutes, fifteen of those watching you struggle to knock.” you walked back into your apartment, and he followed, shutting the door behind him.

you turned around and he was already approaching you. he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you in for a kiss. he kissed you, and you kissed him back, but you pulled away, “carmen.” the way you said his name had him pulling away completely. he shuddered, and sighed, “what do you want?” his voice rose and you pulled away completely, fear rising in your chest as you shook your head, “nothing-“

“i cant come in here and kiss you anymore? is it because of claire? i thought you said you didn’t care!” carmen was shouting at you, even the little vein on his neck protruded slightly.

“are you fuckin serious?” you stared at him in disbelief and you scoffed, crossing your arms, “i don’t care, carmen! i fucking don’t care! is that what you want me to say? or do you want me to tell you the truth?” you matched his tone, his volume and stared at him, eyebrows raised, ready for war.

“i want the truth.” his piercing blue eyes gazed into yours and you felt your shoulders slump, your face falling towards the floor, “i love you. i love you so much that it hurts to care. i care, carmy, i do.” your eyes watered and you paced the room now, feeling exposed, “i don’t give a fuck about this claire. i hate her, i hate her for wanting you.” you stopped walking, “and i hate you for lying to me.” the tears in your eyes finally fell onto your cheeks and you sighed, the sob heavy.

carmy nodded, his hand moved up to his chest in a circular motion, and you sighed with relief as you recognized it.

“i love you too.” he whispered.

carmy had broken the silence. you each were on the opposite sides of the bed, backs to the other as you tried to fall asleep. but it was hard, usually you’d be jammed in between carmy’s armpit and him, arms wrapped around him like he was your own little pillow. he hadn’t fallen asleep either, his breathing pattern remained the same, and he still had a tense feeling to him.

“how was the thing with your family?” he asked, his voice echoing into the darkness.

you scooted over to him, and positioned yourself comfortably around him, letting your head rest on his chest. you sighed, sniffling, “grim.”

he kissed your forehead, and you fell asleep to the sound of his shallow breathing.

[tvgals]

Ok ok hear me out‼️

Miguel (YOUR FATHER) grounds you from seeing your unknown boyfriend (Miles Morales 🤭) But you being sneaky go see him without permission and you guys post a tiktok ykno one of those tiktoks that flex the relationships and you follow jessica so she practically SNITCHES on you to Miguel (She found ur tiktok account somehow??) So Miguel Demands to meet this mystery boy (Imagine his face wasn’t showing in the tiktok) and when he finds out it’s Miles you and your dad get into a fight but it all ends in fluff

(The tiktok is that one trend ‘catch me in vegas, catch me in tokyo thing please know what i’m talking about 😭)

Sorry if the ask was too long but i’ve been thinking about this for D A Y S now‼️ Love you, drink ur water, and stay safe ! :3

aur em gee i’m living for this …

you’d came home late for the third night in a row, miguel sitting on the couch in the dark, scrolling on his ipad with his glasses hanging on the bridge of his nose. you should’ve known better than to come through the front door, but alas, you did it anyways. as soon as you step into the house you hear a “look who’s home.” and you jump. your heart rate going down as soon as you realize it’s just your father. shit.

“hey!…” you chuckle nervously — taking off your crocs. “this is the third time you’ve been late.” miguel says, turning off his ipad. “i know, dad. i’m sorry.” you say, standing in front of him while picking at your hangnails. “you said that the last two times you were late. you’re grounded, y/n. you and this little boy — who i’ve never met — are getting on my last nerve.” miguel says, standing up, leaving you a dumbstruck mess. you trail behind him and plead your case. “but dad! you don’t even know him! he’s literally perfect!” you said, following miguel into his room.

“exactly. until i meet this little boy — you’re banned from seeing him until further notice. and if i even suspect you’re seeing him, you’re done.” miguel says. you purse your lips together and walk out the room with a “this is not fair.” under your breath and walk into your own room — slamming the door shut. you lay on your bed and shove your face into your pillow. you heard a buzz from your phone and pull your head back, turning your phone on.

‘babyyyy i wanna see u! o(≧▽≦)o’ you smile at the text, obviously from miles by the kaomoji. you sigh and open the text, biting the inside of your cheek before looking at your bedroom door. ‘can’t :( dad grounded me >:(‘ text bubbles popping up almost immediately. ‘oooo what did u do?!?’ you grin and text back — not wanting to hurt miles feelings on the real reason why. ‘came home late 😒 i’ll just sneak out! see u in a bit <3’ miles replied with an “okay!!” and you were off on a dangerous mission — leaving your room and coming back without your dad noticing. you slide on a pair of crocs and throw on a hoodie miles gave you. you created a “pillow you” and snuck out through your window, making sure you had everything before leaving. once outside — you let out a long awaited breath and walk to miles house, just down the street and around a corner or two. you made it to miles house at 10:30, miles opening the door to you and inviting you into his room.

“hi, y/n!” miles grinned, pulling you into a hug. “hiiii!” you giggled, hugging him back. the two of you were on miles’ bed, occasionally turning on movies and making tiktoks, which is when you got the bright (stupid) idea to make a tiktok with the sound of ‘sexy back’ by skinnylegend. you collected a few pictures off of google and you took the rest of the video with miles, mentioning him in the caption and posting it, not thinking about who would watch it. you turned your phone off and laid next to miles, slowly drifting to sleep (idiot). miles shook you awake almost frantically, you shot up with a “what?” and miles handed you your phone. 10 missed calls and 23 missed text messages. dammit. you called miguel back, hoping he didn’t know about you sneaking out.

“y/n, where in the hell are you?” miguel asks, you can hear the anger in his voice. “dad, i just went to the corner store for some snacks.” you lied, putting your shoes back on. “no you aren’t. your car is still here and you know better than to walk outside alone at four in the morning.” miguel said, knowing he was right. you sighed and left out of miles’ house out his window, kissing him goodbye and walking back to your house. how could miguel know? you were confused and even more upset that miguel wouldn’t even hear you out! you made it home and walked through the front door, sitting down at the table where miguel was. “dad-“ you were cut off by miguel starting his own sentence.

“do you understand how upsetting it is to get a call from jessica,” you should’ve known. “who has her own child — that my daughter isn’t at home? y/n i’m so disappointed.” miguel scolds you. your head hangs low in shame. you should’ve been more careful, or just didn’t leave in the first place. “i’m really sorry.” you whisper, wiping your eyes. “i don’t believe you, y/n. you can’t keep saying sorry and do the same thing over and over. i expect to meet this boy by tomorrow or you two are over.” and with that, miguel walks to his room and shuts his door. you text miles and walk to your own room, laying down and falling asleep.

‘dad wants to meet you 😞’

you wake up and immediately turning your phone on, seeing three text messages from miles.

‘oh no!!! (ﾉД`)’

‘what if he doesn’t like me?!?’

‘ok ok, how about 530 tomorrow?!?’

‘well technically today’

you text him back with a “sure” and you head into the kitchen where miguel was making breakfast. “he’s coming over today at 5:30..” you mumbled, sitting at the table. “hm.” was all you got as a response. when 5:30 rolled around, you were nervously fidgeting at the table, waiting for the three knocks to adorn your door meaning that miles was there. knock knock knock. you sighed and opened the door. you’re met with miles — who was beaming and holding a container of empanadas for presumably your dad. “dad! he’s here!” you called out, dragging him into the kitchen (not without taking his shoes off first). “dad, meet miles.” you say, making jazz hands while standing next to him. miles eyes widen the same time as miguel’s, you stand there confused and watch as the scene plays out in front of you.

“miles morales?” miguel says, biting his tongue. “yes sir. that’s me.” he laughs nervously, occasionally opening and closing the lid to the container. “my mom made empanadas.” miles shrugs with a sheepish grin on his face. miguel snatches the container from miles’ hand and throws it at the wall, the empanadas falling to the floor along with a crack of the container. you gasped and watched as miles shoved his hands in his pockets and turned on his heel, sliding his feet back into his jordan’s and walking out with a “bye, y/n.” you turned to miguel and balled your fists up.

“what the hell is wrong with you?” you yell, clenching your jaw. “what’s wrong me me, what’s wrong with you? you’re the one who brought him here!” miguel retaliated, pointing an accusatory finger at you. “because you asked me to?! are you mental? you ruin every thing!” you sob, stomping your way back to your room and slamming the door shut before you flopped onto your bed. your phone buzzed with notifications from miles.

‘does he not like empanadas?? :(‘

‘sorry y/n, i didn’t know he would react like that’

‘try again next week?’

miguel knocked on your door a few times before letting himself in, his heart breaking at the sight of you crying while curled up into yourself. “y/n..” miguel starts, sitting on the end of your bed. “i’m sorry. i wasn’t expecting him-“ you cut him off with a scoff. “you threw his mom’s hard work at the wall, dad. him and his family are the sweetest people i’ve ever met and you went and ruined it. i’m pretty sure he doesn’t even wanna date me anymore because of you.” you hiccuped, glaring at him from under your hoodie. “look, how about next week we try and work this out, okay?” miguel asks, pulling you into a hug. you look up at him with bleary eyes. “and you won’t throw his mom’s cooking at the wall?” you ask.

“promise.”

[blueicequeen19]

Don’t Run

Warnings: primal kink, loss of V, nerdy/innocent reader

I never thought I'd be chasing down a girl. Not me. Never. Girls practcially fell down at my feet for just a scrap of attention but no, here I am chasing down the cute, nerdy, insecure, virgin who's got my head in such knots I can't think anymore.

I've searched for her for days and I only just recently found out that she works evenings closing the tiny local library we have. Now, she's running from me as I slip in through the door before she can lock it and I lock it behind me instead. We weren't leaving until I was done.

"Y/N! Don't make me chase you!" I shout, making my way through the stacks of books and towards the sound of her retreating footsteps.

"Just go away! I don't want to see you!" She yells back. Her voice is thick with emotion and I can almost bet she's been crying.

"I'm not leaving! Either come out or you won't like what happens!" I call back. "Or maybe you will." I mumble under my breath as I move up the end aisle, checking each one for where she might've decided to hide.

I pictured her eyes wide and frightened behind her glasses, her tits bouncing as she runs, and that perfect bubble butt peeking out of her school girl skirt. Fuck, I was hard. Maybe I did chase girls after all.

"Just go. You have plenty of options so go find one!" She yells from somewhere to my right.

"I don't want them." I snap. I spot the top of her head just as she ducks behind the large information desk but she hears me coming and takes off running towards the back of the building. She throws the door open to a storage room but I'm quicker as I catch the door before she can slam it shut. She squeals in terror as I slam the door shut behind me and I advance on her.

"I. Don't. Want. You!" She cries, slamming her hands against my chest then slaps me across the face.

"Then why are you upset? Why are you upset and crying over someone you don't want?" I demand, advancing on her in the tiny room.

"Because you show up at my work and chase me like some psycho!"

"You were mad before then." Her back meets the wall and she sucks in a breath, her body trembling from adrenaline. She's trapped. "You saw that girl kiss me but you didn't stick around long enough to see me shove her off me. I told you that you were the only one I want and I meant it."

"I don't believe you." She pants, shuddering against me as I brush the hair off her neck and stroke her pulse point with my thumb. Her pupils are dilated and I can make out her nipples through her shirt.

"I could've had any girl at the party suck my cock but I only want you to do it. I could've fucked probably two or three girls at the same time at the party but I only want you. I could've--." Her hand slaps over my mouth as she glares up at me.

"Shut. Up." She growls, narrowing those defiant eyes at me. Her jealousy turned me on too. I lick her hand and she gasps, yanking away from me but I wrap my arm around her waist, tangling the other in her hair before slamming my mouth against hers. I devour her mouth until she sags against me, her lips mimicking my own until I suck her tongue into my mouth and she moans sweetly.

"You won't listen to nice me so this is the version you get. If you don't want to believe the words coming out of my mouth then listen to what my body is saying. What yours is begging for from mine." I snarl against her lips, dipping my tongue in her mouth to taste her again as my hand dives between her legs. She squeals, trying to pull away but I cup her pussy and moan over what I find. She's so wet it's running down her thighs and her panties are sticking to her.

"You don't want me, huh?" I taunt, palming her clit as she trembles, baring her teeth at me.

"Fuck you."

"Filthy mouth." I pull in her for another kiss and she bites me. I smile as I yank her panties down her legs and slide my middle finger inside her tight walls. She's so tight that I can barely move my finger, let alone add another. She moans loudly, practically melting against me as she clings to my shirt for support.

"Cum on my fingers. Let me have it so you can take my cock." I urge against her panting lips.

"I'm not losing m-my virginity in a s-storage closet." She bites out, widening her legs to give me better access.

"You shouldn't have run from me." I press my thumb hard against her clit, curling my fingers until I reach that sweet spot that has her eyes roll back as she cums hard, gushing all over my hand and onto the floor. I have to hold her up as the orgasm wrecks her, leaving her breathless and drained. I free my cock a second later, coating it in her juices as her eyes track my every movement.

"That is not going inside me." She pushes against me, her eyes widening in fear but I can't help but laugh as I scoop her up and sit her on a stack of totes.

"It'll fit." I bring her in for another hard kiss, slapping my cock against her clit and making her whimper. I take her hand and wrap it around my length, making her stroke me. Her hand immediately feels so much better and I moan, leaning into her touch.

"JJ, we can't do this here." She whispers, letting her thumb swipe over my leaking slit.

"You ran. We could've done this in my bed but you ran." My spit lands between us and I work it down my length as I smear more of her arousal. I need her as wet as possible to keep from hurting her too much. I look up so I can see the look in her eyes as I push the tip in. Her eyes widen and her lips part in surprise.

"Relax. Let me in." I murmur, using my hand to guide myself in another inch while keeping ahold of the back of her neck. She releases a whimpered breath and I push in more.

I let out a choked moan, fighting off the urge to slam into her and fuck her until she’s leaking cum all over floor. I should get a medal for the amount of restraint I’ve shown, especially when she looks up at me with big pleading eyes and whimpers my name. This was going to be over before I even get started. Her pussy was literal heaven and I was never leaving.

[pedrito-friskito]

strawberry wine - joel miller x ofc!liv stone/fem!reader

during - part eleven

series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3

you get the short end of the stick, but it’s worth it.

a/n: okayyyyyyyyy shit’s getting heavy, folks, but things are chaaaaaaanging. hope you’re ready 😈

word count: 4.4k

warnings: MY BLOG IS 18+, MINORS DNI, a lot of angst, a lot conversation, canon-typical violence and injuries (heavy on both), drinking, Joel has more feelings, I love Tess.

if you haven’t already, please read the announcement/follow up I posted about giving Liv a name.

✨follow @friskito-library for updates on new works/chapters✨

Tess likes to talk. You don’t mind; it makes the walk back much faster, and the QZ is within sight much sooner with the easy conversation between you. 

She talks about how she found Joel and Tommy, how they’d been stuck together ever since Kentucky. She mentions her husband, Nate, and you offer your sympathy — which she brushes off — and tell her about Dean.

“With a baseball bat?” she repeats, an almost incredulous look on her face. “That baseball bat?”

“Yep,” you laugh, hefting the thing in your hand. “Kept me alive this long. All those years of softball finally paid off.”

Tess tells you what she was starting to build in Baltimore, and you can’t help but grin. The two of you are more similar than you thought. You return her stories in kind, details of your own ventures. “There are lots of ways in and out of the Boston QZ,” you tell her, “you just have to know where to look.”

You don’t ask about her and Joel, and she doesn’t offer the information. He hangs back the entire time, a good twenty feet behind you, rifle slung over his shoulder. You chance a glance back once or twice, mostly making sure he’s still there, and his hard gaze makes you freeze every time.

This definitely isn’t the reunion you’d imagined. Honestly, you’re not quite sure what you had envisioned, but this sure as hell ain’t it. Fuck, why couldn’t you just keep your mouth shut?

You lead them through as quietly as possible, using a spot on the wall where the bricks have been cracked, leaving footholds behind for those who know to look for them. You send Tess up first, then Joel, and he waits at the top, grabs you by the arm and hauls you up the last foot. You open your mouth to say thank you, but he’s already released you, turned away yet again.

All right, so this is how it’s going to be.

Through the top level of the building, down the ladder into the alley. You stash your bat and your bag in the same place, tell Tess and Joel to leave their guns there, too. Joel’s reluctant, but Tess smacks his shoulder and he does as you say, that hard look on his face the entire time. 

Your boots splash in the same puddle they had last night. Tess is close behind you as you head out of the alley and skirt down the next building. A few more alleyways, heads ducked, avoiding soldiers and civilians alike, and you head down another alleyway, waiting for the coast to clear before shoving a dumpster aside, revealing a hole in the bricks that leads inside the empty warehouse.

“How did you—” Joel starts to ask, but cuts himself off.

You hold your arm out, gesturing him inside. “Quickly.”

The opposite end of the warehouse faces the gate almost directly. The windows on the lower level are covered with newspaper, shattered in some places, and you peer through one of the missing panes. Beside the main gate, there’s an office, of sorts. Where they take any survivors that make it to the gate, test them, either put them in the system or put a bullet in their heads.

“Wait here.” You prop open the window, slide through the gap and pop back up the other side. No one pays you any mind as you head towards the office, leaning up on your toes to peer through the little window in the door. Nick’s standing inside, staring at one of the old computer screens, and when you tap on the glass, he nods.

You turn back, waving at Tess. “C’mon.” They’re quick about it, and you push the door open once they’re close, following them both inside. Nick stares at Joel for a moment, meets your eyes over his shoulder. You try to school your face neutral, but you can’t tell if you get away with it or not.

“In there,” Nick says, the words blunt, and points down the hallway, to one of the smaller rooms. The office used to be a doctor’s office, you think; one main lobby, a bunch of smaller exam rooms down the hall. Joel and Tess do as he says, and you start to follow behind, but feel Nick’s hand on your shoulder. It makes you pause, and you look at him, turning beneath his hand.

“That’s him, isn’t it?” he asks, his voice low. “Joel.”

You repeat yourself to him a third time. “Does it matter?”

Nick’s brow creases. “Of course it fucking matters, Liv.”

You shake your head. “Just process them, please? Then you can throw me in lockup and this’ll all be over.”

The look on his face says he doesn’t believe you, but you push his hand off your shoulder, step into the room where Tess is standing, Joel sitting in one of the chairs, elbows on his knees. “This is Corporal Nick Cowan,” you introduce, jutting a thumb over your shoulder. “I trust him. He’ll test you both, put you through the system, and take you back to my place.” Your eyes flick to Joel. “Tommy should still be there.” You turn to look at Nick. “On the off chance he’s not, take them to Deanna’s.”

Nick gives you a curt nod, and you can feel Joel’s stare boring holes in your skull. It’s Tess that finally breaks the silence, concern on her face. “What about you? Why aren’t you taking us?”

“Cuz I’m gonna be in lockup,” you say, and Joel jumps to his feet, but doesn’t reach for you, doesn’t do anything but stare, “for the next two days.” You swallow hard. “There’s enough food at my place for you three, water too. Tommy knows where the whiskey is.” You give a little chuckle, staring down at your boots before lifting your head. There’s something like admiration in Tess’s eyes, whereas Joel is pure fire. You chew the inside of your cheek. “It’s fine, really. All part of the deal.”

“You’ve been in FEDRA lockup before?” Tess asks, crossing her arms.

You nod. “Once or twice. I’ve been caught by a couple other soldiers, but I have dirt on most of them. Makes it easier, but this is all part of the plan.” Your eyes dart to Joel before meeting Tess’s. “It’s fine. It’s worth it.”

Nick grabs your arm then, all business, fingers biting into your elbow. “Let’s go. Now.” His voice is louder, and you lift a brow as he pulls you back through the door. “You two, don’t move, or so help me god, I will throw you both right back through that gate.”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes. “Seriously?”

He stares down at you. He’s angry, you realize. “Seriously.”

Nick yanks the door shut, Joel and Tess staring at you as it closes, and he all but pushes you down the hall to the door, out onto the road, towards the building where you’ll be for the next two days. Lockup. “There were other soldiers in there,” he mutters under his breath. “I had to make it somewhat believable.”

“Thank you.”

“Sure.”

+

Since the world ended, Joel will admit he’s gotten quick to judge. First impressions were hell before cordyceps ravaged the planet, but now they’re even worse, if not more important. But Joel’s met one too many terrible people, and he’s learned to be quick on the draw, quicker on his judgement.

He knows almost immediately that he does not care for Corporal Nick Cowan. At all.

Mainly, he doesn’t like the way Cowan was looking at you. He saw the way he stopped you outside the door, the two of you whispering under your breath to each other, an almost defiant look on your face. Are you two…?

He doesn’t finish the thought.

Joel’s mind has been churning from the moment he saw you, standing there in the gas station parking lot, that fucking baseball bat in your hand. Something else had taken over, something like happiness, spilling into the corners of his heart the moment he had you in his arms again. Alive, breathing, whole, right in front of him. He felt whole, for the first time in a long time, holding you like that. It felt…good.

And then you opened your mouth, and it all came crashing down.

He hasn’t forgotten. He can’t forget that night. The gunshots and the blood and the way Sarah had cried. The way he’d felt her go. It haunts his every step, her voice a constant reminder in the back of his mind. He knew he’d have to tell you, if he ever found you again, and in a way, he’s grateful his brother was the one to deliver the news, but the way you’d said it, the broken apology, the tears on your face, it was too much.

It is too much.

Cowan returns not ten minutes after he’d hauled you off, and Joel gets to his feet when the door opens. The soldier gives him a look, but Joel doesn’t flinch. He’s used to this shit; the FEDRA soldiers in Baltimore were the same. “You can sit,” Cowan says, but Joel doesn’t move. Tess sinks into the chair he’d been occupying. There’s a clipboard in the soldier’s hand, and he flips the page over. “Names.”

“Tess Servopoulos.”

“Joel Miller.”

“Date of birth.”

“April 9th, 1969.”

“September 26th, 1967.”

On and on it goes, until the page is full. Cowan doesn’t look at either of them once, and then takes the scanner from his belt. He’s not gentle with it, the hard press of plastic and the following tingle at Joel’s neck making him wince. The scanner turns green both times, and Cowan scoffs.

“Well, there you go.” The soldier sighs. “Boston QZ works about the same as Baltimore. You work for the community, keep it running, earn your ration cards. Liv will tell you where to find assignments, what jobs you’re allowed to take. She’s responsible for you for now, once she’s out. You stay in her place until she comes back, and we go from there.”

“We don’t get our own space?” Tess asks, and Cowan shoots her a look.

“You wait for Liv,” he says tersely, “and we go from there.”

Joel bites his tongue.

He leads them through the QZ quickly, both hands on his rifle. Joel itches for his own gun, stashed in your hideaway, but forces his hands into fists instead. Tess gives him a pointed look. Don’t fuck this up.

It irks his brain that Cowan just knows where your apartment is. Tommy opens the door after the soldier knocks, and pulls Joel into a hug, Tess afterward. “You made it.”

Tommy steps aside to let them in, and when Joel turns back to the door, the Corporal is gone.

Good fuckin’ riddance.

“Much nicer than the shit we had in Baltimore,” Tess comments, shucking her coat off, and Joel huffs a laugh. 

It’s…well, nice isn’t really the word. The flower wallpaper is something else but the place looks lived in, which already makes it better than the plain walls and nondescript shit they had in the Baltimore QZ. There’s a butterfly painted on the window, a bookshelf built into one wall, another little shelf between the two windows with a radio perched on top. The flower paper doesn’t continue along all the walls, giving way to a yellow colour, the lower two feet of the wall painted blue. There’s a big window near the bed, a tall wardrobe beside it, a cracked radiator, the bathroom tucked beside the bedroom.

Tommy makes lunch, some kind of instant mac and cheese that tastes all too familiar to Joel. But washing it down with a glass of whiskey definitely helps. Tess busies herself looking through your bookshelves, combing through the titles. 

“Where did she get all this stuff?” Joel asks. The shelves are filled with books, but there are other things too, little knickknacks and candles and tchotchkes. A little elephant made of jade. Joel picks it up, rubs his fingers over the carved edge.

“If you’d been listening, on the walk back,” Tess quips, an almost sing-song to her voice, “instead of being an asshole, you’d know. She’s been doing the same shit we have. Smuggling. Looting places that have been deserted. And she’s clearly better at it than we are.”

Joel says nothing, his brow lowering as he puts the elephant back on the shelf. There’s a little glass dish on one of the other shelves, filled with rings of all sizes and metals. Wedding rings, he realizes after a moment, engagement rings.

Tess hums. Joel watches as she reaches down, rubs her thumb over the silver band on her finger.

“Who is she, Joel?” Tess asks, and a zap of cold slides down his throat. “To you. Who was she? And don’t try to bullshit me and say nothing.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he says, instead of nothing, and walks away from the bookshelf. There are no doors between the different rooms, the living room and kitchen and bedroom one open space with a dividing wall. He walks towards your bed, lets his hand trail over the plaid sheets and blankets and sinks onto the edge, parks himself in front of the window.

He stays there, until the sun sets. 

Two days in lockup, you’d said. You wait for Liv, Cowan had instructed.

Part of him feels like he needs to apologize. He’s going about this wrong, he knows that. But the memory of what he’s lost has risen to the surface of his mind, and made him hurt. Made him all too aware of how broken he is.

With Tess, it doesn’t matter. He cares for her — of course he cares for her — but the line in the sand is clear. It’s stress-relief, comfort, a placeholder for what they’ve lost. Tess lost Nate, and Joel lost you.

And what the fuck did he do to deserve to find you again?

Tess crawls into bed, eventually. She doesn’t say a word to Joel, doesn’t invite him to lay with her. He can hear Tommy snoring on the other side of the thin wall that separates the living room and the bedroom, his brother sprawled on the couch.

He gets to his feet, scrubbing a hand over his face. The wardrobe door creaks as he pulls it open. There’s not much inside, clothing meant more for warmth than anything else, an assortment of sweaters and flannels. He knows he shouldn’t, feels a prickle of guilt up his spine as he drags his hand through the fabric. His fingers catch on something softer than the others, and he pinches blue flannel, striped with white and grey.

You kept his shirt. All this time. Held it close enough to take it with you when you left.

It makes him ache.

Joel wanders into the kitchen, grabs the bottle of whiskey from where it had been left on the worn kitchen table. It’s a mess of coffee cups, pages torn from notebooks, a collage of maps spread beneath everything else. He sees paths marked in red, on the maps, places circled and x’ed out, scribbled notes and times and dates. The kitchen sink is clean, a few plates stacked beside, evidence of Tommy’s cooking still on the stove. The fridge is slightly crooked, from when Tommy had pulled out the whiskey.

He sees it, from the corner of his eye, on the top door of the fridge. Held in place by a magnet shaped like a strawberry.

July 4th 2002

The magnet falls as he pulls the polaroid off, but he catches it before it can hit the ground. The picture is torn at one corner, the edges a little warped, but otherwise intact. He can remember that night. The warm summer air, your head on his shoulder, beer and barbecue in his belly, the awe on Sarah’s face as you all watched the fireworks together. It feels like a lifetime ago.

Joel puts the magnet back on the fridge, but keeps the picture in his hand, sinks into a chair at the table, takes a swig from the bottle of whiskey.

He doesn’t hear Tess until she’s sliding into the chair across from him. He says nothing, another long sip from the bottle as she pulls the polaroid from his grip. She looks at it for a long moment, smoothing her fingers over the edges before handing it back to him.

“Tell me who she is, Joel,” she says again, more of a statement than a question. “Please.”

Joel’s throat bobs. Tess doesn’t often say please.

He blows out a shaky breath. “A ghost,” he says, the corner of his mouth twitching. “To be honest, I’m still not totally convinced she’s really here. That we’re really here.”

Tess grips his free hand, pushes the bottle away. “We are here, Joel. Liv is here.” She squeezes his fingers. “Please, I just wanna make sense of it all.” Tess pauses, leans back a little. “Did you love her?”

Joel just nods, the movement slow as molasses, making his neck ache. “Her parents owned a hardware store, back in Austin. She moved back from Michigan after she finished school, started working in the store, and I met her there. We had one summer, and then she got a job in Boston.”

“You let her go.”

His brow crinkles, and his fingers itch to reach for the bottle, but he doesn’t. “I couldn’t let her stay in Austin just for me, couldn’t let her throw away her future.” He shoves a hand through his hair. He’s still holding the picture. “We spent the rest of the summer together, and then she left. Came back the next summer, and we had another two weeks.” He rubs his thumb over the photograph, the image of you leaned against him. “But it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t enough.”

“She broke it off?”

He lays the polaroid on the table, thumb still tracing your outline. “She met someone. Dean. The space was too much, for both of us. I understood. I let her go.”

“And then the world ended.”

Joel reaches for the bottle then, and takes a long swig before sliding it across to Tess. “And then the world ended.”

“So, she’s the reason you wanted to go to Boston.”

He can’t bring himself to look at Tess. “I called her that night, when everything happened. Told her to get out of Boston, that I’d find her. It was never about Boston, exactly, it was just about going East, praying that we might meet in the middle. I looked for her at every QZ, every shelter, every single time I saw a body in the street, I was looking for her.”

“But you found her,” Tess says, her voice low, and Joel forces his eyes to hers. “Joel, she’s alive. She’s right here. Second chances like this…” She trails off, shakes her head. “This kind of stuff doesn’t happen all the time, Miller, not anymore. This is…”

“If you call this a miracle, Tess, I swear to god.”

She scoffs a laugh. “No, not a miracle. But…something. You can’t—”

“I told you who she was,” he cuts her off, that same feeling rising in his throat again. What the fuck did he do to deserve a second chance with you? “Now drop it.”

“Joel—”

“Drop it, Tess.” He shoves his chair back, gets up, heads for the bed.

If she notices him take the polaroid with him, she doesn’t say anything.

+

Stairs are hell.

Every step makes your side scream in pain. The pressure you’ve been holding against your ribs has done little to ease the ache, and even breathing makes it worse. Your mouth tastes like blood, iron and tangy against your teeth, and you know you’re lucky as hell your cheek isn’t broken. Bruised to shit, yes, but not broken.

They were feeling feisty in lockup, worse than you’ve ever had it before. Nick left you with two other soldiers inside, muttering something about disturbing the peace. They processed you, put the charge on your record, and when another soldier came to get you, your stomach sank into your toes.

Angie.

The same soldier who’d been working the pharmacy when you’d gone to get inhalers for Henry. You hadn’t threatened her, not exactly, but you’d made it clear that you could do some damage if she didn’t give you what you wanted. The pharmacy is a no-violence zone; she couldn’t have hit you then even if she wanted to. It would get her in deeper shit than you.

But in lockup? A whole other fucking story.

She grabbed you roughly, all but shoving you through the doorway that led deeper into the building. You don’t think the building was originally like this, all cells and interrogation rooms; FEDRA must have built it themselves. 

You were expecting to get shoved into a cell right off the bat, but instead, she lead you to one of the rooms, pushed you inside and yanked the door shut behind you.

“What are you—”

Your words cut off with the first slap, a hard backhand that made your head snap to the side. You grunted, grabbing the back of a chair inside the room. You had half a mind to grab the thing with both hands and launch it at Angie, but that would only extend your time in lockup.

All you could do was sit there and take it.

Her second backhand made your teeth rattle, pain sparking behind your eyes. You nearly ducked to dodge the next hit, out of instinct, but forced yourself still, tears springing forth as her fist connected with your cheek. Over and over again, you just let her hit you. She hit you hard enough that you stumbled back, tripped over your own feet and the chair behind you and hit the ground. She didn’t waste any time driving her boot into your side, and you just curled inwards, just took it.

You weren’t sure exactly when she left, all you knew was that the blows stopped landing, but the pain didn’t. Two more soldiers came in after, picked you up off the floor, and carried you out of the room. They put you in a cell next, gave you a bottle of water and a blanket. The fabric was mottled with blood when you finally opened your eyes, and your face ached something fierce.

You slept it off, the rest of your time inside. Ate the shitty bread when it was offered, used the water to clean the blood from your face. And then, your forty-eight hours were up, and they let you go.

Part of you expected Nick to be waiting for you outside, but you were happy he wasn’t. You didn’t want to feel like you owed him anything more.

It took ages to get back to your building. Every step outside made pain shoot through your side; you’re pretty convinced at least one of your ribs is broken. And now, fucking stairs.

You almost fall against the doorjamb once you reach your apartment, digging in the pocket of your coat for your keys. You’re fumbling with the lock when the door swings inward, revealing Tess, bright-eyed and wearing one of your t-shirts. “Jesus Christ.”

You actually fall forward then, and Tess catches you, sliding an arm around your waist and dragging you over the threshold. 

“A little help here!” 

Tommy and Joel are both sitting on your couch, and they both jump to their feet the moment they see you. Tommy moves before his brother, and is at your side in an instant, taking some of your weight from Tess. You’re grateful as hell, though the movement makes your side scream in pain. They bring you towards the couch, and from the corner of your swollen eye, you see Joel move out of the way, heading in the direction of your bedroom. You’re in too much pain for it to really sting.

You cry out as they lower you onto the couch. Tommy looks frantic, and Tess disappears for a moment, coming back with a wet cloth. She drags it over your cheek and you whimper.

“She’s messed up,” she says, you assume to Tommy. “They have a clinic here, right? Like in Baltimore.”

“Yeah,” Tommy says, “saw it when I first got here. I can go—”

You flail an arm out, your hand landing on Tommy’s leg. “Get Deanna.”

You think he nods — you hope he nods — and you hear the door bang shut a moment later. Tess wipes at your face more; guess you didn’t get as much blood off as you thought.

“Tess,” you call softly, and her eyes snap to yours. “You don’t have to—”

“Oh, shut up,” she tells you, her voice almost stern. You want to laugh. “Who did this to you? FEDRA? Cowan?”

“Not Cowan. Pissed off the wrong girl, I guess.” You actually scoff out a laugh, but it makes your ribs sing with pain. “Can’t fight back in lockup.”

Tess’s brow wrinkles. “Good to know it’s the same shit all over in some way, at least.”

You go quiet, for a long moment. Tess holds the cloth against your cheek, and you revel in the cool feeling, letting your eyes flutter shut. The pain throbs with every beat of your heart, every breath you take, but her hands are gentle, almost soft.

“Joel told me,” she says, breaking the silence that’s been filled only with your shaking breaths. “About the two of you, about…before.”

Tears fill behind your closed eyelids, and you feel them slip down your cheeks. “Doesn’t matter now,” you say, trying to shake your head but failing miserably. “He doesn’t…”

“Don’t worry about what he does or doesn’t. He’s a stubborn ass.”

“You two—”

She puts a finger on your lips, shushing you. “I said, don’t worry about it, Liv.” She shakes her head, brow pinched, moving the cloth to dab at the corner of your mouth. “Not right now.”

You hear the door open, and a moment later, Deanna’s face comes into view, hovering over you. “What the hell did you do, girl?”

“Made a deal,” you say, “but it was worth it.”

Through the thin wall, you think you hear Joel sigh, the noise long and deep.

PREV | NEXT

[misseviehyde]

BITCH AND RUN

Erin shivered in fear as she watched the door of the pink Humvee slide open and with a clop of designer high heeled boots, her best-friend Chloe dropped to the floor of the carpark.

Chloe had changed. She was taller and thinner now, her body crushed into a tight white corset and her once short hair now long and blonde around her smooth perfect shoulders.

Chloe's once innocent face was now prettier - but with a mean bitchy expression as she eyed Erin dismissively. Long acrylic nails shot from her fingertips and she was surrounded by a cloud of Chanel perfume.

Chloe's once flat chest now bulged with Alpha girl tits - growing larger by the day as she continued her evil transformation into the biggest bully at school.

"Oh hey loser," she purred in a sexy voice, "I came for old times sake - but after this you and me are fucking done. I don't need you anymore."

That much was true.

Since Chloe's bitchy step-mom had bought the pink Humvee and insisted Chloe drive it to school - everything had changed.

As soon as her hands had closed around the wheel of the car for the first time, Chloe had become more confident. She was soon hooked on riding in the pink vehicle and her wicked transformation had begun.

In a tank like this, Chloe found she could bully other cars off the road. She began to enjoy the power and attention driving the vehicle gave her. She'd moan as she pushed down the accelerator and felt the vibrations of the car throb through her body.

Hair lengthened, tits grew, bones stretched and the more she drove her new humvee the bitchier she got.

Within days Chloe had ditched her loser friends and was now one of the popular girls. She'd give them lifts in her pink car - giggling as she became more and more like them with every moment.

Soon Chloe had become their leader. The trips in the car almost seem to have brainwashed them into thinking Chloe had always been the Alpha girl.

"Chloe - please. I know it must feel good to be so pretty and popular, but this isn't the real you. You have to break free of the humvees control. It's turned you into a fucking bitch."

Chloe laughed, wiping a fake tear from her perfect cold blue eyes. "Ohhh boo hooo hoooo. I have to break free from being brainwashed... by my car? You really are a fucking loser freak. Even if what you were saying was true... you think I'd give up this power?"

Erin shook her head. "No I guess not. Which is why I have a backup plan."

With a sudden movement, Erin shoved Chloe hard and the other girl gasped as she flew into a concrete pillar hard. Her car keys flew from her fingers and she slid down the pillar winded and disorientated.

Snatching the keys, Erin leapt into the Humvee and quickly engaged the locks.

Standing up in a cold rage, Chloe's lips twisted into a sneer of contempt. "You fucking dweeb - you can't even drive."

Erin's heart raced. It was true, she'd not got her license yet. She had a wild plan of starting the humvee, crashing and destroying it in the carpark. Perhaps that would free her friend.

The interior of the vehicle smelt of expensive perfume and hot girl. Erin put her hands on the wheel. They felt... good... there.

She groaned as her short fingernails lengthened into a hot pink manicure. At the same time her head filled with knowledge and like she had done it a thousand times before, she switched on the ignition.

"No! NO!" screamed Chloe who was looking at her hands in horror. Her sexy nails were gone. "Stop that... you don't know how to drive. That's MY vehicle."

Chlor banged the doors - but they were sealed and the thick armour plating and reinforced glass could not be breached.

Inside the car Erin put the Humvee into drive and she groaned as the vehicle throbbed and growled like a hungry predator.

She felt so fucking powerful sat up here and she looked down at Chloe with contempt as she pushed her foot down onto the accelerator and felt the pink humvee leap forward.

Grabbing the wheel Erin whooped in delight, her eyes shining, as she spun the humvee round the carpark with a screech of tires. Vibrations pulsed up through the seat making her pussy throb and she groaned as she threw back her head and felt her bones crack.

Falling to the floor Chloe groaned and sobbed as her blonde hair began to shorten and her big tits started to shrink. Her body grew shorter... plumper as the power of the humvee flowed into Erin and left her weak and bereft of power.

Meanwhile in the car Erin moaned as her hair turned blonde and her pretty pink lips curved into a wicked smile as she felt tight pink leather flow around her body and make her into a spoiled fucking bitch.

She jammed her six inch pink heels harder onto the accelerator and with a final twist of the wheel pulled up in front of the sobbing, weeping Chloe.

Mmmmh it felt so good to be a bitch. Her shaven pussy was dripping wet and she was already excited about the thought of driving to her boyfriends to get railed. Or maybe she'd fuck his best-friend some more?

Erin was now a popular, spoiled bitch. Everything Chloe had done had now transfered to her. She was the popular bitch now and the car was hers. There was even a license with her name on it inside her pink handbag.

Dropping out of HER car and locking the door - Erin giggled as she loomed over the little loser nerd in front of her.

"Oh like... mmmmh guess this is like MY Humvee now and I'm the Alpha girl. Oh and if you ever try to come near me and my car again, I'll fucking reverse it over you? Got it loser?"

Leaving her threat hanging in the air Erin relaxed back into the driving seat and drove out of the garage to start her new spoiled life...

THE END

[slafkovskys]

Hiii, I love you writing! Can you do something with being nicos sister and dating Luke Hughes when he comes to Jersey! Thanks 🤍🤍

“why am i doing this again?” you ask your brother, leaning your head on your hand that was propped up against the window.

“because jack wanted you and luke to meet so he would at least have no one person in jersey that was the same age as him,” nico taps one hand on the steering wheel as the other scrolls through instagram on his phone. he sends you a lopsided grin, “i agreed because he’s not your type and he’s too scared of me to try anything.”

“fucking asshole,” you swear, reaching across the center console to shove at his shoulder and he laughs. you watch as a range rover pulls into the parking lot and you sigh, “that’s him, yeah?”

he clicks his tongue, rolling down the window when jack pulls into the empty spot beside him. you gather your things from the floorboard and go to open the door, only to find that you couldn’t. you whip your head around to find nico smirking as he presses a button on his door, “child lock, my bad.”

“you’re so annoying,” you mumble as you slide out of the door. when your feet touch the ground, you spare him a final glance as you see your charge for the evening rounding the back of his car, “don't forget you owe me for this. big time.”

“i know,” he ensures you and you slam the door. luke has his hands shoved nervously in his pockets and you look at him expectantly, “have fun, but not too much fun!”

“have him back by ten, y/n! we’ve got practice in the morning,” jack croons, bursting into a fit of giggles with nico as you roll your eyes at their antics.

“can you please look a little more enthused? this isn’t going to be fun for either of us if you look like you’re being held hostage,” you huff, turning on the heel of your boot and starting in the direction of the restaurant that you had chosen, “hope you like burgers because that’s what we’re eating.”

“i- i’ll probably find something,” he stutters, sending a glance back over his shoulder to where jack had his phone out recording the two of you. “why is he-”

“do i really need to explain to you that your brother has the same sense of humor as a thirteen-year-old?” you roll your eyes as you pull open the door to the burger place. you smile at the hostess, “two, please. outside if you have the room.”

“let me go and check,” she nods and walks off with a marker in her hand.

you jump as an arm winds around your waist and you sink into his embrace, almost melting on the spot as his lips touch your temple, “i wasn’t sure that we would be able to sell it, but you even had me convinced.”

“if there’s anything that i can do, it’s play nico like a fiddle,” you tilt your head back, puckering your lips, “you know he thinks that you’re not my type?”

“and why’s that?” he hums, interlacing your fingers as the hostess guides you to a table on the second-floor patio. you each take a menu and as soon as she turns away, you plaster yourself onto your boyfriend’s side.

you shrug, “never dated an athlete before, never even thought about dating one of my brother’s teammates, but look at us.”

“look at us,” he agrees, looking over the menu, “so what’s goo-”

he’s interrupted by a familiar voice that makes the two of you tense up, “i told you, hisch!”

you look up to find jack and nico walking towards your table, jack looking elated and nico looking confused. luke pulls his arm away and you slide to the other side of the booth. nico shakes his head, “i don’t even know what to say.”

“i can explain,” you say, holding up a hand, “we were going to tell you, y’know, right before we eloped…”

“eloped? like hell!” nico’s eyes practically bulge out of his head while jack’s face suddenly turns serious as he looks between the two of you.

“no, i just wanted to see what your reaction would be to that. i’m sorry, not everyone has the same sense of humor as i do,” you roll your eyes as you pick up the glass of water your waiter had sat in front of you before quickly excusing himself, “you might want to sit down for this, boys. we’ve got to catch you up to speed on the last five months-”

“five months?” jack chimes before nico could, staring intently at his brother who really looks like he wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out again, “you kept this a secret for five months?”

“more like six and a half if you count the talking stage-”

“please, y/n! i’m already getting bag skated for the rest of my career, spare me.”

requests are closed!

[beangfrisky]

minors dni !!

Kuroo Tetsurou could not have looked any better under the dim lighting in the bar. His shirt was slightly open with the top two buttons undone, and his hair thoroughly ruffled from running his hair through it too many times. He dropped his glass back to the bar to unbutton and roll up the sleeves of his dress shirt so his forearms were on display.

I took a moment to push back my own hair. Admiring my coworker's forearms probably wasn't appropriate. But damn if he didn't look good.

His glances weren't exactly subtle either. After every sip of his drink his eyes kept finding ways to drift back over towards me. We had been flirting on this dangerous of inappropriate work behavior for months. If only he would make a move already.

"You did good today, we make a good team." His dark eyes met mine and my cheeks heated at his praise.

"It's amazing that this is the first time we've been partners in the almost year I've worked here."

Kuroo knows exactly why we were never a pair before. But he didn't need the pretty girl sitting next to him knowing that he begged his boss to only pair him up with other coworkers because she makes his head spin.

"Probably thought we'd be too good together." He winced a little but kept his smirk. His gaze wandered again to my chest and went down slowly, all the way to the red heels I was wearing.

"See something you like?" If he was planning on teasing me all night with his eyes, he had another thing coming.

He choked on his drink a little but quickly recovered. Eyebrows raised a little in surprise on both of our faces. "I do."

His eyes met mine and somehow it turned into a staring contest. I debated my next move, this could go very well or very badly. No matter how tonight ended we would both have to work together again bright and early in the morning.

A hand on my wrist pulled me out of my thoughts. "Would you like to check out my room? You can tell me if you see anything you like." His offer was enough to pull me out of my seat.

"Absolutely." I sounded more breathless than I wanted, but I had wanted this for so long. He chuckled and waved the bartender over to pay.

We hurriedly stumbled towards the exit of the hotel bar together. His hand still on my wrist which made me match his long strides. Once we reached the elevator he stood with his back to the door blocking it for anyone else to join us. I gave an apologetic smile to an older man waiting behind us.

The doors closed and our hands reached for each other. Kuroo pushed me back against the elevator wall and grasped the back of my neck in that huge hand of his. He paused to look at me before I pulled his lips down to mine with my hands that were fisted up in his shirt.

When the elevator dinged he pulled me out into the hallway and we raced to his door. He jammed the keycard in twice to no avail. I steadied his hand and gently took the keycard from him. The door lit up green after I calmly pressed it in.

The handle was slammed down and the door opened faster than I could blink. Kuroo swung me inside by my waist and pushed me up against the door as it closed.

The minutes after that played like a slide show in my mind. My hands in his hair and his on my waist. My legs wrapping around his waist. His tongue in my mouth. I was totally overwhelmed with Kuroo Tetsurou and his big strong body pressed up against me.

He stole his lips away from mine and pressed our foreheads together. "That was..." At least he was affected as I was.

"I think I see something that I like." I responded.

My hands lifted to the third button still done on his shirt, "I think I'd like to see more of it if that's alright with you."

Hurried hands undid buttons, zippers, and finally shoved fabric away from bodies. At this point I couldn't distinguish what my own hands had done and what his had.

His shirtless chest required admiring, and paired with his broad shoulders he was my wet dream come to life. I looked down at my undone blouse and began to take it off too but he stopped me.

"Keep it on for now." His eyes were gleaming.

Strong arms grabbed me up and dropped me on the foot of the bed. Those big hands trailed up my thighs beneath my skirt. "I'd like to see what's under this if that's okay with you?"

How could I ever say no to that? I parted my legs as he dropped down to kneel between them. He shoved my skirt up until it was bunched around my waist. His fingers teased the fabric of my panties as he traced between my lips.

"Please Kuroo just do something. Anything."

"Patience is a virtue princess. And that's Tetsurou to you." His dark eyes moved up and down between my face and pussy as he continued to tease me over my panties.

"I've waited months for this, I would say that's patient enough, Tetsurou." He grasped both of my thighs at that and dragged me down the bed even more.

"How long?"

"How long has it been since we've met again?" The time for subtlety is over, he needed to understand the urgency of my situation.

At that he snapped my panties against my cunt before slowly dragging them down my legs. He leaned his head down to blow over it before giving me a small lick as if testing the waters.

I couldn't help but moan at the contact. My body was so wound up all I could think was please please please. I squirmed underneath his stare.

Something in him must have broken because he dove in full force after that. His tongue dove in between my lips as he tasted me. My gasps turned into moans when he started slowly fucking me with his tongue.

"Fuck, Tetsu. Please. More." His nose on my clit felt better than anything I had experienced in my life. I never wanted this to stop.

He leaned up and sucked my clit into his mouth and began circling his tongue around it slowly. I felt his finger slowly push inside of me and couldn't help but let out every curse word I could think of.

He pulled his mouth off of me for a second to ask, "That feel good princess?"

Fuck, good was nowhere near what it felt like. Before I couldn’t get my mind together to answer, his mouth was back on me and he had added another finger inside of me.

He slowed down to a torturous pace and took his mouth off of me again. "I asked you a question, I want your words before I continue."

Dark eyes met mine and I blurted out whatever my mush brain could manage, "So good. Please don't stop. I'm so close, please. Tetsu."

It sounded far more whiny than I imagined it would. I was totally going to be embarrassed about that one later. But he sped up again and continued his assault on my clit.

"Fuck, I'm going to cum. Please please please." I begged.

Seconds later I couldn't hold back anymore and came on his fingers. My mind went blank as I experienced the best orgasm of my entire life. All of my limbs clenched and shook before finally relaxing into jello.

I had to push his head away when he kept going after, it was too damn sensitive. He pulled his head up with my hand still threaded in his hair and crawled up my body. My hand slid down the back of his neck as I took frantic breaths to recover from what he had just done to me.

His smile was the cockiest I had ever seen it. He knew how good of a job he had done and relished in the fact he made me fall apart like that. It was all over his face.

"You're irresistible when you beg princess." He nuzzled his nose into my cheek.

"Then I want you to fuck me now, please." I looked up at him through my lashes. He damn near growled out his response. "Good girl."

[tommiruewrites]

hi my love! i was wondering if you could write a shy fem reader dating eddie munson and they go to a party or something and she sees him talking to chrissy (or another girl) and gets jealous? if not don't stress it. i love your writing by the way <3

MINE - E.M.

word count: 2.2k

requested: yes | no

requests: open | closed

request rules here

warnings: fem reader, one implication of reader being short (at least shorter than eddie), small segment where reader has anxiety, jealousy ofc, kissing, mentions of alcohol consumption, mentions of drugs (very brief, no intake), chrissy is not the villain

a/n: jealousy fics are my weak spot omg i had sm fun writing this. it took me a rly long time to get in a flow because i loved the req so much that i wanted to be perfect and i was overcomplicating it for myself so I apologize on the setback for reqs. i do first come first serve, so now that i'm finally happy with this one i can move on to all the other wonderful reqs! i hope you like the way it turned out <3333

remember to like, comment, and reblog to support my writing <3

· • —– ٠ ☆ ٠ —– • · • —– ٠ ☆ ٠ —– • · • —– ٠ ☆ ٠ —– • ·

You're zoned out, feeling the thumping music throughout your whole body as it shakes the countertop you're sitting on and pulses through you. It tickles a little under your fingertips. One too many drinks in and teetering dangerously on the line of being a little bit more than tipsy, you swing your legs back and forth as you stare blankly at the fridge in front of you, wondering why Steve still has baby alphabet magnets stuck on it. You add it to your memory bank of 'things to make fun of him for later.'

"Helloooo. Is anyone home?"

You see a hand wave in front of your face, blinking back to reality and turning to face your best friend. Robin Buckley. "Lost you for a second there. You okay?" She looks ridiculous, sitting crisscross applesauce with a beer in one hand and a half-eaten block of cheese in the other. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just starting to get a little tired." You put your drink down, reaching your arms up to stretch. Pulling back to rub at your eyes, you quickly jolt your hand away, remembering you have makeup on. Little do you know that its already a kinda smudged anyway. "Have you seen Eddie?"

The clock read 11:43. You haven't seen him in almost an hour now. You weren't a huge fan of parties, so you didn't go to many, but when you did, you usually you stuck by Eddie's side the whole night. That way you didn't have to socialize with people you didn't already know and risk embarrassing yourself. Last you saw he was headed off with some buff guy to make a deal, and you had expected him to be back by now. 

"Nope, not since the last time he was here." Robin replies, leaning back against the marble to look at whatever was on the ceiling that she found so interesting. 

Looking around, you notice that Steve's been gone for a while too. They must have wandered off together. "Okay, thanks Rob's." You push off the counter, heading off into the sea of people as Robin calls out a lazy, "Any time!"

There's barely enough room to squeeze your way through the crowd, almost getting knocked over too many times for your liking. You know for a fact that there's no way in hell Eddie's in this crowd dancing, especially not without you, so you don't even bother to look. As you near the door to Steve's backyard, you wonder if he even knows half of these people that are frolicking around in his house.

The chilly autumn air hits your face the moment you open the sliding glass door. You step out onto the concrete steps, squinting through the darkness to see any sign of Eddie. Nothing. Odd, on the rare occasion you attend parties, you can usually find him outside making a deal or smoking or something. As you stand in the cold you can feel your last drink starting to hit you a little harder, mind starting to get a little fuzzy.

You head back into the unpleasant warmth of the crowded living room, shoving your way past a couple that definitely does not shy away from PDA. You jog up the stairs, two steps at a time as you look at the faded carpet beneath your sneakers. You check every room in the hall, but most are empty, and the ones that aren't are thankfully not occupied by your boyfriend. At this point your just extremely confused, tired, and missing your boyfriend's company. You stumble back downstairs, just as Steve passes you, being dragged into the mass of dancing people by Robin.

You grab his arm, causing him to slingshot back in your direction, "Hey, Steve!"

"Yeah, what's up?" You can't smell a single drop of alcohol on his breathe, meanwhile Robin has probably bathed in it by now.

"Have you seen Eddie? I've been looking for him everywhere."

"Uhh, have you checked out back?" Robin was now dancing with Steve's outstretched arm. 

"Yeah, he's not there. I checked upstairs too."

Steve looks around a little, trying to pinpoint his friend through the swarm, "Sorry, I haven't seen him." Robin loses interest in dancing and begins pulling him away again, "Let me know if you can't find him, alright?" He shouts, quickly getting swallowed by the crowd.

"Yeah, okay."

Now you were starting to get anxious. What if something bad happened to him? What if Vecna was back? You frantically pushed your way through the room, looking around as every possible awful scenario imaginable passed through your brain. Unfortunately, in your hazy state you couldn't logically decipher what was or wasn't reality. You finally make it through the cluster of partygoers, catching a glimpse of curly dark hair across the room. Your heart swells, relieved that he's safe.

You sigh in relief, quickly hurdling towards him, "Eddie! Thank goodness you're okay, I-" You hear a laugh and feel your feet come to an abrupt stop. It's a girl. It's a pretty girl, and she's laughing at something your boyfriend said. 

Taking in the scene unfolding in front of you, you stare at Eddie who's leaning against the wall near the front door, talking with the prettiest girl you've ever seen. You weren't usually the possessive type, but for some reason you felt a little on edge. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was simply the fact that he was gone for almost an hour and now you find him chatting it up with another girl. The worst part is, you know her, and she's wonderful. The nicest girl you've ever met and she's gorgeous, and popular, and kind, and outgoing, and everything you wish you were. You stand there, frozen, watching as he must have said something funny again because now she's laughing so hard she can barely breathe. Even her laugh is pretty. She tries to steady herself and catch her breath. She grabs his arm. She's holding his arm and laughing at his joke, and he's not pushing her away. You can't help the jealousy that bubbles up in your stomach, making you almost nauseous with envy.

All of a sudden, your feet are moving, pushing you off in the direction of your metalhead boyfriend. You walk up next to him, grabbing his arm a little more harshly than you intended, causing Eddie to jump before softening when he realizes it's you. "Oh hey, baby! Chrissy was just asking about you." 

You forcefully pull his arm away from her lingering hand, placing it around your shoulders, "Well, here I am!" You reply dryly, offering a tight-lipped smile in her direction. No matter how jealous you were, you could never hate her. She's an absolute angel. Still, this was the most polite response you could muster up at the moment.

Out of the corner of your eye you could see Eddie's smile flicker to confusion for a moment. Sure, you were shy, but you were still usually very friendly. It especially confused him since he knows you think very highly of Chrissy.

"Have you been having fun?"

"Yeah." You mutter, barely audible.

An uncomfortable silence falls over the three of you as your eyes linger on Chrissy. She awkwardly smiles and sways on her feet. Quickly, Chrissy and her amazing social skills recover the situation, sparking up another vivid conversation with Eddie. Your eyes dart between them, enviously twisting and tugging at Eddie's black Metallica shirt. Soon enough they're laughing again, and then you hear what pushes you right over the edge. She calls him "Eds", in her wispy cute little giggle voice that makes you want to rip your hair right out of your skull. That's what you call him. That's your nickname for him. You've finally had enough, and you just can't handle it any longer or you think you might explode. You put your hand on Eddies chest, pulling at his shirt to get his attention as you lean your face up to look at him. "Hey, Eds?"

He places a hand on top of the one grabbing his shirt, laughing a little as he removes it before you rip a hole in it. "What's up?" 

You bite your cheek to keep yourself calm, jealous and also embarrassed of said jealousy, you squeeze his hand. Hard. He pulls you closer to his side and leans down to hear you better in the loud atmosphere. 

"I think I'm ready to go home now." You say just loud enough for Eddie and Chrissy to hear, envy bubbling out into the sharpness of your words as you say it through clenched teeth.

He takes a minute to process it. Process your tone... and then all of a sudden it clicks.

"Ah, okay." He whispers as he rubs your back, turning to face Chrissy. "We're gonna head out." 

She smiles at the both of you, almost disappointed, "Aw, alright. See you guys around!"

"Have fun!" He smiles, turning to walk through the front door, waving to a disheveled Steve and Robin as you cling to his side, practically pulling him out of the party. Once you both get in the car, he starts the engine and pulls out onto the road. The drive is mostly silent besides the sound of the tires against the rough concrete and the engine whirring. You chew on your lip and slouch into your seat, incredibly ashamed of your own emotions and the fact that you still can't shake them. Eddie rests his hand on your thigh, trying to sooth you. You look out of your window to avoid having to talk to him right now. You can tell that Eddie knows you're a little drunk. You secretly hope that's all he chalks your shifty mood up to. Alcohol. 

You pull up to a gravelly stop in front of your trailer. You live in the trailer directly next to Eddie's, but you spend so much time at his place that it almost felt like you lived there instead. You hop out of the car and immediately head for your trailer, "Goodnight, Eddie!" You rush out, practically bolting for your door.

"Ah ah ah, not so fast short stuff." He crowed from behind you, leaning his back against the hood of his car and crossing him arms almost mockingly. He wore a knowing smirk on his face, and you couldn't help but shrink into yourself as you slowly turned around. "What was that all about, hm?"

You shrugged your shoulders, legs slightly swaying beneath you, "What was what?"

"Aw come on, don't play dumb with me sweetheart." He pushes off the car, slowly walking towards you with a strangely proud smile. "Come on, say it."

"Say what?"

"Why you wanted to get me out of there oh so badly?"

You rock on the balls of your feet, toying with your sweater sleeve nervously, "I'm drunk."

He shakes his head disapprovingly, pretending to think as his curls framing his face wildly, "Mm, but you're sober enough to be having this conversation?"

Heat blossoms across your face, forcing you to look down to hide it. 

Eddie's demeanor softens slightly, taking a few steps closer and wrapping his arms around your waist. "Let me guess. Were you..." he starts, getting softer as he leans down to your ear, "a little jealous?"

You whine and hide your face in his shoulder, hitting his chest when he starts to laugh. "Eddie, cut it out! It's not my fault okay!" you start to ramble, "I had a lot to drink, and she's so perfect, and she thought you were funny, and she was touching you, and- and..."

Eddie tugs at your sweater as you trail off, softly urging you to finish, "and what, sweetheart?"

"She called you 'Eds'... Only I'm supposed to get to call you that." You mumble out as quietly as possible. Your face burns hot as you bury your head further into his neck. You feel absolutely mortified. 

"A little possessive, are we?" His smirk was evident in his tone.

Your fingers tighten at the hem of his t-shirt, pulling yourself impossibly closer to him before muttering something almost inaudible.

Eddie can't wipe the smile off of his face, suddenly deaf "Sorry, what was that?"

"I said... you're, mine."

A moment passes, making you wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole... and then you feel Eddie's laughter rumble against his chest until he's leaving sweet little kisses on every inch of your face in between rambled sentences.

"You look so cute when you're jealous, you know that?"

He kisses up your neck, "All pouty and flustered over nothing."

Up your jawline, "Christ princess, I can't believe you think you're the lucky one here-"

Across your cheekbone, "Sure, Chrissy's nice, but she doesn't hold a candle to you, honey."

Then finally, he looks at you, holding your gaze while he speaks, "I've only got eyes for you, babe." His lips graze against yours, smiling into the kiss as he softly presses into you and pours every ounce of adoration into it. You finally feel your jealousy melting away, intertwining your fingers with his. He pulls back ever so slightly to mutter one final promise against your lips;

"I'm all yours."

[storiesofsvu]

Hidden Desires Ch 12

Alex Cabot x reader Warnings: language, angst, lots of it.

The entire night had been spent at the precinct, exhausting every last resource the squad could to try and get any information about what had happened. Since Liv and Elliot had been on the scene they knew there were no street witnesses, but a canvas was sent out to see if any of the neighbouring apartments had seen anything, heard anything. They checked for street cams, staring at countless hours of surveillance tapes trying to find the same car from the scene, try to get a clip of even one letter from the plate. Ballistics was on hold until the lab opened in the morning, as was talking to the various prisoners that had already put threats out against Alex.

As the hours went on you were let on to more of the information Alex had kept from you, that these guys had your address, had her mother’s address, that Zapata had basically threatened her when she’d made a sassy remark during an interview. Olivia quietly reassured you that she was sure Alex wasn’t trying to keep secrets from you, but just wanted to keep you safe and as far away from the danger of the case as possible.

You only managed to drag yourself away from the 1-6 when your alarm went off on your phone. That and…every lead was exhausted that they could get a hold of. You made sure Liv knew that you needed to know the second anything came in involving the case before traipsing down to Hogan Place.

*

It was just before your stomach began to grumble for lunch when you heard the door to your office open. You had your head down in your arms, you’d almost been asleep before the vision of Alex bleeding out in the street began to invade your imagination, forgoing the exhaustion seeping through your bones.

“Shouldn’t you be in court?” Donnelly’s voice broke through your thoughts. You didn’t move, simply mumbling a reply against your arm.

“Made a deal.”

“Don’t you have about four other cases you should probably be working on then?” You felt a folded paper drop onto your head, letting it slide off as Liz took a seat in front of your desk, just out of your eyeline.

“Made deals on all of them…don’t have any fight left in me…” you let out a heavy sigh, knowing you weren’t about to get out of this conversation. Shoving yourself up you moved through your office, pouring a fresh cup of coffee, offering one to Elizabeth.

“You look like crap.” She returned, “your girlfriend let you walk around this place in sweatpants?” You gave a watery laugh as you fell back into your chair, running your hands through your hair, “she wasn’t in her office, and I can’t find Paxton.” You barely heard her second sentence, brain still wrapped around the ‘your girlfriend’ part.

“She’s not exactly my girlfriend anymore.” Liz sighed at the way your eyes began to glass over at your words, shaking her head as she put her coffee mug down.

“This is why I should’ve said no when you two disclosed, you can’t bring your personal bullshit into work just because you broke up.” You raised your head to your boss, brows furrowed, lips slightly parted in confusement and disbelief.

“Have you been living under a rock all morning?” Your voice nearly shook with your words and it was Liz’s turn to be confused, you were a great lawyer and a strong woman at that, why was something so trivial bothering you this much.

“I took the morning off, thought I was coming down with something so I slept in. I just got here.”

“You haven’t seen the paper…” now the shake was gone from your voice but it was so quiet it barely echoed through the room. Your hand grabbed the New York Times that sat on your desk, tossing it to Liz. You’d had to flip it over, the image of Alex’s face staring back up at you too hard for today, especially with you running on zero steam.

“This…this can’t be true…” Liz’s gaze shot up to yours. You sniffled, taking a deep breath,

“Benson and Stabler were with her when she was hit, outside some bar.” You were surprised to feel a tear burning its way down your cheek, quickly brushing it away, “I was at the precinct all night with them trying to get anything but there’s no leads aside from knowing it’s somehow linked to Zapata…but we can’t prove it…”

“Oh God…” She dropped the paper down onto a free chair, “are you okay?”

“No…” you nearly laughed, “I will be once this bastard’s behind bars.” She gave you a stern look that you knew was a warning of you being too close to the case to prosecute, but you simply turned your attention to your coffee, “I was gonna go through her case load this afternoon but I can’t bring myself to go into her office…”

“Oh sweetheart…” Liz’s hand reached out, squeezing at yours, “I’ll go through it with Branch, you don’t worry about that okay?” She mustered up the best of a smile she could while you nodded, “how’s Sonya taking it?” You snorted.

“Exactly how you think she is.” You nodded toward the coffee table, “she polished off what was left of the Jack and disappeared after I told her.”

“Jesus..” She muttered, you gave a weary glance to your cell phone.

“The bartender at her usual place has my number…and I’ve been calling her every couple of hours to make sure she’s not choking on her own puke. I checked her schedule to make sure she didn’t have any appearances today, she’s clear.”

“You know you don’t have take care of everything around here. But I do need you taking care of yourself right now, understand?” You gave her a small nod, “why don’t you go home? Get outta here for the afternoon?”

“You really think going home where all of Alex’s stuff is is gonna make me feel better? Where I can still smell her perfume lingering in the air?” Liz stalled at your response,

“You…two were living together?”

“Yeah…” you wiped another stray tear away, God, where were they even coming from at this point?

“I didn’t realize it was that serious.” As much as she needed to know what was going on with her staff, she also respected your privacy and boundaries, she wasn’t about to go sticking her nose into your business when she didn’t need to.

“I wanted to marry her…” your voice was back to that quiet far away tone, your gaze not even latched onto anything in the room while your hand toyed with the gem still linked around your neck.

You didn’t even hear what Elizabeth said next, your brain still processing the fact that you’d finally said it out loud. You’d known it for weeks, you’d felt it for over a month, Alex had always been someone who had made you so incredibly happy, but once she was a solid part of your daily life, you knew you wanted to keep it that way. You said a silent thank your to whatever higher power was out there that you hadn’t wasted money buying a ring…all things considered…

“Y/N?”

“Sorry…” you shook out of it, glancing towards the older woman again, “what?”

“Go home…or…go track down Paxton or something. You can’t sit here all day doing nothing, you’ll drive yourself crazy. At least do it somewhere sweatpants are an acceptable piece of attire.” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at her words.

“Fine…” You pushed back from your desk, tossing the few things you needed into your bag before turning to the older woman as she stood, “are…you gonna be okay?” You felt nearly embarrassed to ask, knowing Donnelly was, without a doubt one of the strongest and badass women that you knew, but something like this would hit close to home, you knew her and Alex were close, and Alex had always spoken very highly of her.

“I will be.” She sighed, a hand softly clapping on your shoulder, “this isn’t the first time something like this has happened at the D.A’s office…and it won’t be the last. So please…be careful trying to solve this case..I need at least one of my prosecutors in working shape. And you’re the best one I’ve got.”

“Thanks…” you murmured, avoiding her gaze. You were genuinely surprised when she sighed, tugging you into her arms, and even more surprised when you felt her lips hit the top of your head in a maternal fashion. You’d never known Elizabeth Donnelly to be soft, you were honestly surprised she was even okay with sending you home for the rest of the day.  “What if SVU calls?” You asked bleakly as you pulled away from the hug.

“Forward them to me.” You gave a small nod, moving toward the door before you froze, turning back to her.

“Uh- the uh…the funeral’s on Friday…if..you’re interested.”

“Of course…y/n..I really am incredibly sorry.”

“Thanks Liz.”

You managed to give her one last nod before leaving the office, escaping the place you’d spent so many hours with Alex. Not that it helped that you at least needed to stop at home next, you weren’t sure what you were exactly supposed to do there, surrounded by her things. What were you supposed to even do with them now that she was gone? Did you hold on to them? Wear her clothes? Give them to her family? Your brain was a fucking scramble and you had no idea how to fix it this time.

*

The funeral was a fucking emotional disaster, though you weren’t surprised. Alex’s parent’s knew you from college, and you nearly burst into tears when her Mom insisted you sit with them and that she’d been so excited to see the two of you at Christmas that year. She held your hand the entire way through the service, squeezing tightly whenever she heard a strangled sniffle or cry. You weren’t sure why, but Olivia seemed to be avoiding you the entire day, she’d given you a small nod of affection, a few small words of condolences again, but she was far from the woman who’d showed up unexpectedly to your apartment earlier that month. You were glad to see more than a few friendly faces from the D.A’s office and courthouse there, along with the entire SVU squad. You weren’t surprised when you saw Sonya stumbling her way through the repast, doing your best to put her into a cab, keeping her behaviour unnoticed by anyone else. It wasn’t long afterwards that you ducked out yourself without saying any goodbyes, you just couldn’t fucking bare it anymore. You needed to grieve how you wanted to grieve, and that involved burrowing yourself in the blanket on the back of the couch that still smelt like Alex’s shampoo while finally finishing Schitt’s Creek, polishing of the bottle of wine she’d bought for your upcoming anniversary. What you weren’t expecting was the final season of the comedy, the one that had made you realize you could have feelings for someone like Alex, the one that had technically brought you together, was able to make you ugly cry over the soft romantic and family values that it ended up being very capable of. You woke up hungover, very dehydrated, and still on the couch the next morning, hating life even more than you did before.

*

In the following month you started to realize you’d need to start to box up Alex’s personal things, you just couldn’t handle having them around the apartment any longer. Not that you spent much time there, you spent so much goddamn unpaid overtime working thanks to Sonya still being a disaster that you were barely home. You were quick to toss anything like perfume, body wash and the like, things that you wouldn’t use, that you didn’t want the scents remaining in the apartment. Smaller Knick knacks, things that had meant more to her you packed up, stashing into the closet in your home office. You knew she had expensive taste when it came to clothes, managing to convince Liz into coming over to go through her side of the closet, sorting out what you should take to a consignment store versus just donating. You kept a few things, a spare Harvard t-shirt that you already liked to sleep in, a comfy pair of pyjama pants that were softer than yours, but you did your best to get rid of her stuff. It absolutely destroyed your heart to see it go, and you couldn’t lie, you still cried about it on a pretty regular basis, even if it was alone, in the cold bed of your apartment. Everyone at work commended you for keeping it together that someone you worked so closely with had been killed, only Liz kept a closer eye on you, making sure you weren’t about to go off the deep end. You managed to keep everything under control, keeping your job on a good level, prosecuting the crimes you could.

You wouldn’t ever deny it.

The night you found out that you’d never be able to prosecute Alex’s murder, that there was no way to track down the bastard that killed her, that there somehow wasn’t a lick of evidence, you smashed multiple wine glasses on the kitchen floor. You collapsed on the living room floor in a fit of tears, unable to even think of what you were supposed to do with your future. Bringing justice to Alex was all you’d been looking forward to, and now even that bleak option was gone.

You weren’t the only one to take it hard, and honestly, you surprised yourself when you were the one knocking on Elizabeth Donnelly’s office door a couple of days later.

“What can I help with?” You were genuinely surprised when her voice was soft, knowing that you were probably circling back to the first level of mourning due to the recent news.

“I need a new A.D.A.” You sighed, “I can’t keep doing the work of three of us and picking up the slack from homicide…it’s way too much. Liz..I’m at my breaking point…”

“Homicide has a new one starting tomorrow, transferred in from Queens. Branch made personal calls to the precinct to tell them to stop calling you.”

“Thank you…but I meant in SVU.” You hated yourself for what you were about to do, you hated being the person who snitched on a friend, but you were going through enough already, you couldn’t stay as strong as you wanted to.

“Please don’t tell me you’re about to hand me a resignation.”

“No!” You shot back, “but…you need to suspend Sonya…she needs to go to rehab…” you dropped into the chair in front of her desk, daring to meet her eyes.

“What?”

“I’ve been covering for her for weeks Elizabeth…I’ve been doing her case work, writing her arguments for her, cause she’s just too fucked up to do it herself. I’m so sorry…I never wanted to be this person, but..I can’t do it anymore. I just had Liv breathalyzer her in my office and she blew a 1.8…she’s supposed to be in court in an hour.”

“Are you kidding me?” You basically shrunk in your chair at the tone in her voice and she noticed it instantly.

“I’m sorry…” the tears you’d been trying to hold back, especially in this interaction began to threaten to burst from your eyes, “I just..it’s not fair…I mean…Sonya lost a friend sure, but somehow she’s the one allowed to be a complete mess, to show up to work drunk and it just gets blown off?! Meanwhile I’m the one stuck cleaning out Alex’s stuff from our apartment?! I feel like I’m a strand of silly string trying to hold the goddamn department together right now and I can’t keep doing this if Branch doesn’t hire someone else!”

You buried your face into your hands, trying to hold back the tears, trying to not shudder from the cries begging to escape your body in front of your supervisor. You heard a shuffle as she moved through the office, surprised when you felt her hands on your wrists, moving your hands from your face, tilting your chin up to hers.

“Don’t ever sell yourself short. I’ve told you before and I will tell you again, you’re one of the greatest prosecutors that I have, and you always will be. I’m incredibly proud of you for coming to me about Paxton…it takes a lot of guts to do that when it’s not only a friend but someone with seniority over you. I’ll talk to Branch, I’ll see about getting someone transferred into SVU. I know he mentioned there were a few people with paperwork already started. And please…remember you’re not alone in this…”

“Thank you…” you murmured out, taking a breath as you wiped your tears from your face, “and…could you maybe suggest a lateral transfer? Or at least someone that has an idea of what sex crimes entails. I really don’t have the energy to coach some baby lawyer into the world of SVU.”

“I’ll do what I can.” Liz gave you the usual tight smile, “now how about you go home…have a drink..or..don’t..” she grimaced slightly, “just..take care of yourself. I’ll get someone to cover Paxton’s case.”

“Thank you.” You managed to shoot her a weak smile before you left her office.

Things may have not be anywhere near good, but maybe, just maybe they were getting better. You hated that you’d been the one to turn on Sonya, her being one of the only friends you had now, especially since Olivia had been so distant. You figured it was because her and Alex had been so close, that she was just as fucked up as you were now, or there was some weird history you’d never been indulged to. You thought you’d been able to lean on each other, but as things looked, you had Donnelly, and that was much more professional than anything else. You were only thankful when later that evening, after nearly a bottle of wine you’d gotten a text from Liz that the new A.D.A had been secured for your department, and would be starting within the next few days. If everything was going to be a fucking dumpster fire, at least you’d have someone to share the burden with, even if they didn’t know why the fire was lit in the first place.

[elenavr13]

More Than Mistakes

Engineer Mark x Captain

Warning: None

*After events of ISWM*

*Playlist: Do You Still Love Me Like You Used To? – MISSIO/ To the Universe- MISSIO/ Two- Sleeping At Last/ Sorrow- Sleeping At Last*

*After an eternity of suffering & sorrow, the understanding that that torment is finally over seems too good to be true.*

Y/N’S POV

           There it is the planet we set out for, right through the glass. It is breathtaking. Was it worth going through an eternity of hell to get to? No, but at this moment, god, it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

           Mark’s voice pulls me from the astronomical spectacle. “The trip was smooth, just a few rocks, couple cosmic rays, nothing the computer couldn’t handle on its own.” I place my hand against the window & lean forward, taking in every detail of the planet including its two moons.

           “Acknowledged,” the computer concedes. “All systems are fully operational. All crew accounted for. Disembarkation under way.” I can’t believe this is happening. Everything is perfectly laid out –almost too perfect.

           “She is a beauty; isn’t she, Captain? The long range scans did not do her justice, perfect in almost every way. We’ll still have to do top to bottom scans once we’re down on the surface but we’re moving equipment as fast as we can.” Shuttles leave the docking bay & fly to the planet’s surface. “The crew is eager to get off the ship & onto solid ground. I think you can understand the sentiment. &, uh, thank you for…uh…not giving up on me. Just…thank you.” Mark’s words suspend me over a ledge of sorrow & remorse. I manage to keep myself composed by turning my attention back to the planet, lifting the mug he gave me to my lips, & sipping the warm beverage. At this point, the remaining crew exited the bridge leaving me & Mark alone. “Computer, lock the door to the bridge.” He orders. Curious as to what he is going to do, my eyes return to him.

           “Bridge door locked.” The computer announces. Mark takes a deep breath & shuffles backwards to the control console where he slides down to the floor.

           “It’s over.” He chokes out, closing his eyes in the process. “It’s finally over. W-we made it.” I place my drink on the console & settle next to my friend. Because he doesn’t immediately shove me away or anything like that, I rest my head on his shoulder. He tenses for a second but eventually gives in & relaxes. We sit there on the floor, staring at the gorgeous sight for a few seconds before Mark begins to sniff. As I lift my head, he pulls his legs close to his chest. “I’m sorry, Captain. I’m sorry for everything.” He suddenly dissolves into tears.

           “Mark,” I try.

           “It’s all my fault. Not only did I destroy the universe, I hurt you. I yelled at you. I blamed you. I… I… I ruined everything. Why are you even still here? You should hate me.” He begins hiccuping between his words. My heart aches seeing him like this. Even though I made my own fair share of poor choices, I can’t comprehend the guilt weighing Mark down. Desperate to alleviate some of that crushing weight, I pull him into a tight hug to which he crumbles into.

           “Mark, I don’t hate you. You didn’t know…” He lifts his head from my shoulder.

           “But I…Captain, I…”

           I hold his tear-stained cheeks in my hands. “I forgive you.” His coffee brown eyes reflect the planet & stars in front of us as he focuses on my own e/c pair. “I’m sorry it had to be you. If I could change it, I would take the blame so you don’t have to live with the guilt. You were tired & scared. I understand that. You did things that you regret but you’re still my friend. Mark, I forgive you.” After a small heave, he re-wraps his arms around my torso & tucks his head in the crook of my neck. Tears of sympathy & regret run down my own cheeks as I cling onto my partner. My fingers gently tangle in his hair as I recall my encounters with the alternate Marks. He doesn’t deserve this; he was just trying to help. He was always trying to do his best even from the beginning. How long ago was that? I can’t even remember when it all fell apart…

           Eventually Mark’s sobs diminish. “I’m really…hic…sorry I gave…hic…up on you.” The heat of his breath penetrates the fabric of my turtleneck.

           “No you didn’t.” I mumble into his hair.

           “But…hic…but I did.” His hold on me tightens.

           “You know, I met an older version of you. He thought the same things you did.” My companion falls silent with an occasional hitch of breath. “Thing is, he was the one who told me to stop you from sending the warp core back. Without him –without you– we wouldn’t be here at our destination. Mark, you never actually gave up on me.” I back away from him just enough to see his face. “I’m really sorry I wasn’t always there for you but I am now. Please don’t resign yourself. I don’t hate you; I never have. You mean everything to me. Without you, I…” I trail off as flashbacks of the times I didn’t treat Mark much better replay in my mind. My gaze falls to the floor. “Without you, I would have given up.” A beat later he leans forward, closing the gap between us.

           “But you didn’t.” He says as he pulls away. My eyes widen in surprise which causes a smile to form on his face, defining his features. “I was going to wait till we got to the surface but I guess things happened & well…” A small chuckle escapes his lips, bringing a smile to my own face. “I planned that even before leaving Earth. It was to make up for all your teasing.” We share a laugh –the first of many after the events of the wormhole.

--------------------------------

           We begin sending troops to scout the land for a place to begin colonization & for any potential threat. I demand that Mark & I accompany those venturing to the new land –anything to get off this cursed ship. I don’t ask Mark but I know he will be just as grateful as I am. Had this been any ordinary mission, I would have stayed back or made Mark stay back to keep the ship in order but alas, this is no ordinary mission. That being said, I still have to put someone in charge so I choose my first mate, Tyler, who gladly accepts.

           Once on the surface, we explore a fair amount of land. For the most part, it is a lot like Earth with a few perks & a couple setbacks. Some of the perks are that a great quantity of the vegetation is edible, the majority of the water is fresh water instead of salt water, & the scenery is gorgeous. Every now & then, we run into hostile creatures but that is expected as we are the aliens on this planet. We also get caught in a harsh, electrical storm that ruins some of the supplies we brought. Luckily, nothing that is crucial to the mission got damaged. Despite the unfamiliar territory, weather, & fauna, everyone manages to escape serious harm. This place is so perfect for the colony that it almost makes up for the grueling torment caused by the wormhole –almost.

           Turns out, a decent amount of the crew remember some of the events that took place from the wormhole but just play it off as a weird dream from cryosleep. You’re not supposed to be able to dream while in cryo-sleep but when basically everyone including the cryo lead herself has these fragmented memories that are unexplainable, they are assumed to be dreams. Mark & I are the only ones who really remember & know the truth of what happened.

--------------------------------

 *a week after ISWM*

           The gentle breeze lifts & tugs at the tents’ fabric as I walk by each one to my own. Before I reach mine, however, I check the fire pit to see Mark poking at the orange flame with a stick. The night-watch is supposed to rotate through the crew but Mark stands watch most nights, taking over even when it isn’t his turn. Tonight is his third night in a row. It concerns me to see my best friend not taking care of himself.

           “Hey, Mark,” I say, sitting next to him.

           He doesn’t look up from the fire, “Hey, Captain”.

           “The nights are sure pretty here.” He hums in agreement, acknowledging me but dismissing my statement. Something is on his mind & it is upsetting him. I scoot closer to him & take his hand in mine. “What is it?” He rests his head on my shoulder.

           “What if it’s not over? What if this is just another universe? Aren’t you afraid of waking back up in your cryo pod to find that it was all some ruse?” His thumb caresses the back of my hand.

           “Every night but I don’t think it’s worth fretting over, at least not right now. I mean, we’re finally here & it’s better than we ever imagined. After everything we’ve been through, we deserve a break.” He nods against my shoulder. “Even if it’s not over, risking it all might not be a bad thing. At least here we can be happy…even if it’s just for a moment. It’s those ones that really, really matter.”

           “Then can we stay here a little longer?”

           “Of course, we’ll stay as long as you need.” My lips come into contact with the crown of his head for a lingering second. “Can you promise me something?” He sleepily hums in response. “Take care of yourself & if not for you, for me.” I know, it’s hypocritical to encourage others to take care of themselves when you yourself don’t but I figure once the colony is more settled & my friends are happy, I can get around to fixing myself too.

           “I just don’t want anything else to go wrong.”

           “That’s why I’m here & our fantastic crew too. You can’t take everything into your own hands. You need to let others take the reins as well.”

           He sighs deeply. “I wish I could. I just…” He lifts his head & rubs his face with his free hand. “I’m so tired but I’m terrified to sleep. I try but keep falling through that damn wormhole every time I close my eyes. It’s like it’s not over.” His grip on my hand tightens ever so slightly.

           “I understand.” He begins tracing the lines in my palm. Luckily it is my right hand which doesn’t have a huge scar in it. I don’t want to worry Mark more than he does himself especially because it was caused from his actions. “You’re always welcome to stay with me. I don’t mind & if you wake up from another nightmare, I’ll be there to calm you.” With a lazy bob of his head, he accepts. “Come on, I’ll find someone to take over your shift.” He clings onto my arm as we travel through the base.

[storyshark2005]

Fic Excerpt - Part IV of "Been and Gone" series. Katie G. and Noely G.

a brother and a sister talk about a brother and a sister

It’s two am and spitting rain. Noel bums a cigarette from Katie, leaning into the cup of her hands. She lights one for herself and the flame paints orange tiger stripes across the ridges of her cheekbones, smears shadows in the hollows of her bare eyelids.  

“So,” Katie puffs and tucks the lighter into her jacket pocket. She settles against a section of wall on the opposite side of the sliding door as Noel. “Divorce, right?”

Noel turns around to look back through the glass, and into the house. Debbie had managed consciousness long enough to finish her margarita, and then pulled Liam down to hibernate on the sofa. They’re there now, tangled together, Liam with his face tucked down to breathe into the soft part of her neck. 

He turns and shrugs back against the cold exterior, taking a drag on the cigarette. His shoulders drop slightly as the nicotine washes warmly over his brain. It helps steady his feet, a little. The last margarita, and another two tequila shots with Katie had really nudged him over the line and into oblivion. Which, at the moment, is quite nice.

“Debbie told you?”

Katie shakes her head. “Nah. I know the look.”

“Been through it yourself?” 

“Not exactly,” she shrugs, exhaling smoke. “We never married. But the split was fucking horrible. Had two kids with him.”

“You still see him?” 

“Yeah, a bit. We share the boys. They’re with him tonight.”

“What’s the arrangement?” 

“He used to only get them every other weekend, when they were little. I think we both sort of thought he couldn’t handle any more. But when Liam started touring, I’d leave ‘em for a week, sometimes longer. So the past couple of years it’s been pretty even. We both live near their school, so that makes it a lot easier.”

“How old are they?” 

She sticks her cigarette between her teeth and holds up her hands. 

“Phoenix is nine,” she wiggles her right hand, where a ‘P’ and a ‘B’ are tattooed on her pinky and ring fingers. She’s got a matching set on the left, the letters ‘C’ and ‘G’. “And Cassius is six.”

“Nine and six, what an age.” Noel muses. He thinks of nine year old Donovan tromping around the back garden in Little Venice, trying to catch lizards. Sonny at age six, living up to his namesake with his soft round tummy and infectious giggles. “Mine are three years apart, too.” 

“Yeah?” Katie grins. “How old now? You said the one who plays guitar was...”

Noel nods, mirroring her smile. “Sonny, my youngest. He’s 12 in October. And Donovan’s 15 next month. Day after Liam’s birthday, actually.” 

Katie hums, blowing smoke up to the sky. “They’ve not met Liam yet, right?” 

He nods, the weight of everything starting to come back down.

She studies him side-long, one eyebrow raised. “Well. If you need a letter of reference, I can tell you he’s incredible with my boys. They adore him.”

She pulls in a long breath of fresh air, letting her cigarette burn down at her hip. 

“Always has time for them. Never treats them like an annoyance. A lot of people treat kids like that, like an inconvenience. But he never does, never has. They were family straight away.”

Noel drops his cigarette to the ground, stamps it out. He suddenly has no stomach for it. Knows that he’s going to regret the ashy aftertaste in the morning. 

He shoves his hands into his jacket pockets, thinking about coming home after tour when Anais was little. Months at a time, and sometimes it was like coming home to a whole new little person, an inch taller and new words and interests and new little personality quirks. Noel was almost afraid to touch her, in those early days. Like he’d somehow do it wrong, break her, or hurt her. But then Liam would come over with kisses and tickles and grab her up and roughhouse with her in a way Noel could never dare. And her little face would light up, and Noel would think that. That is the way a father should touch his child.

“So,” he clears his throat. “Why didn’t it work out? With you and your boys’ father.”

She tilts her head side to side. “It was a lot of things. But mostly he didn’t like Debbie.”

Noel laughs, because it sounds like a joke. “What, seriously?”

“I mean they got on alright, I guess. But it was never comfortable, if you know what I mean. It wasn’t fun, the three of us hanging out. And I could tell that he resented the time I spent with her.”

Noel thinks about Patsy’s sullen glare whenever he would come round. Or Meg’s wine-heavy voice on a Sunday morning, ‘What, Liam’s comin’ over? Why?’ 

Katie huffs, shaking her head. “He didn’t like that he didn’t come first. He wanted to be the most important person in my life. Which is probably fair enough, for most relationships.” 

She takes another drag, getting down close to the filter.

“But,” she croaks, exhales. “When you’re like the two of us. You know that whoever you’re with-- doesn’t matter you love him, doesn’t matter he’s the father of your kids-- he’ll never be your number one.

“He would always ask me questions like, ‘If me and your Debbie were drowning and you could only save one of us, who would you save?’ I’d tell him I could never choose, but that was a lie. And I think he could tell. And it just sort of drove us apart, bit by bit.

“And then I’d be doing it, playing the little game with myself: ‘If it was the end of the world and the sirens go off, who are you getting in the car to run to? Who are you going to spend your last hours with?’ And it was such an easy answer. Her, every time. Never any question. He never had a chance with me.” 

Noel watches her, the little spark dancing in her eyes, the little comma curve at the corner of her mouth. The glow under her skin that might have been from the fairy lights strung overhead, but might have been coming from somewhere deeper.

“But Liam’s got a chance with Debbie?” he asks, shrugging deeper into his jacket.

“Liam understands.” She tosses her cigarette down and puts it out under her heel. 

[velliflorwrites]

The Blue Hour

        There’s a crack in the mirror. It snakes from just beneath the top left corner, running over my face and breaking it in two, right around the frown. Stomach—suck it in; pinch right next to my belly button before hitching my leggings up almost to my ribs. My reflection looks back at me, unimpressed.

        A knock sounds on the bathroom door. “Mira? Are you in there?”

        “Yeah.” I reach for my hoodie and pull it over my head, letting the oversized fabric pool past my hips. The door opens.

        “Do you want anything to eat?” Aimee asks as she pokes her head in. Her eyes glint and the planes of her face are painted silver in the half-light; night has already fallen, even though it’s barely seven-forty-something, and only the glow of streetlights below illuminates the bathroom through the window on my left. The light switch on the right side of the sink remains pointed down. Untouched.

        “No, I’m good.” Picking up my phone from the sink counter, I press the power button until it shuts down completely. Mother won’t be happy. I shove my phone into my pocket anyways and hope she won’t think to call Aimee’s mom instead of me. “I’m not hungry.”

        My stomach growls then, and I avoid looking at Aimee. She steps closer. Shuts the door. Silence.

        “Are you okay?”

        I slide my gaze sideways, away, but I catch my own eyes—so brown they’re black, shadows underneath—in the mirror and look the other way. “Fine,” I mumble, “and I had dinner, already.”

        Half of it, at least, before—

        I push the thought away.

        Aimee lowers the toilet seat and sits on top of it. The streetlights stain her hair as she stares at me, chewing her lip. After a moment, she stands—unlocks the window, slides it open an inch, and sits down again. “No,” she says slowly, “I don’t think so.”

        The January air brushes at my cheeks. It had been freezing outside, but I couldn’t find it in myself to regret slipping out the door the moment Mother looked away, right after my desperate five minutes, please, I just need five minutes alone, and her stare—five minutes.

        Five minutes. All I had was five minutes and the sound of the vacuum covering the tinkle of glass in the kitchen, heartbeat thudding as I opened the front door, locked it behind me, and ran.

        “What’s this?” Aimee asks as she opens her phone’s messaging app. My name appears at the top and a strip of white blurbs runs down the left side of the screen:

aimee

aimee im at ur house rn

sorry ik its suddden but I didntk nwo where else t ogo

aimee?

        “You’ve never come to my house before,” she says as she puts the phone back in her pocket. “And you don’t have to tell me everything, but...something’s wrong. You don’t have to pretend.”

        I stare at her fingers twisting in her lap as her eyes burn holes into me. She reaches for my hand suddenly and I stumble back a step before I even register what she’s done, muttering, “Sorry, I don’t—” but it’s already too late.

        “Mira?”

        “Yeah?” I choke out.

        The silence drags on. Finally she says, “If you want to talk, you can. Just so you know.” She almost reaches forward again, pulling her arm back after it moves forward as if instinctual. “I’m here.”

        An eternity burns itself into my tongue as the words bottle up in my throat. There’s so much I want to say; there’s so much I can’t say. There’s so much I don’t tell her, I think, and I don’t know if I mean Aimee or her.

        Eventually what comes out is, “I think it might be my fault.”

        My hand twitches, but the words have already settled in the air between us. Aimee’s face twists; I kind of hate it, but at the same time it almost feels...soothing. Like I’m a balloon stretched too tight letting out all the air inside me. Like I’m not alone.

        “I’m sorry,” she says. “But...why do you think that?”

        Because if I hadn’t shut the door in Mother’s face, maybe she wouldn’t have gotten so angry. Because if I had only listened to Mother more, maybe Father wouldn’t have gotten involved. Because if I was just better, maybe this wouldn’t have happened at all.

        “I don’t know.” I curl my hands into fists, crossing my arms tight. “Just...I don’t know. I think...my parents’ arguing was all because of me, anyways.”

        Look how you’re harming her—Hey, give the bowl back, I was going to eat that—Stop defending her, she needs to learn—See? It’s all your fault.

        It’s all your fault. It’s all you.

        I don’t realize I’m shaking until a hand lands on my shoulder and I hunch into myself, stuffing curled fists into my hoodie pocket, inhale, inhale, inhale, my eyes burn and I press my lips together—“Mira?”

        Aimee’s fingers are digging into my shoulders. “Mira, what happened?”

        I shake my head. Suddenly, Aimee’s standing, her arms wrapped around my back, and she’s pulling me closer and I freeze—

        Mother’s arm draped over my shoulders, a cage so loose and yet I still can’t escape—

        There’s a hand rubbing circles, slow and smooth, into my back, and I collapse forward. I pull one hand out of my hoodie and clutch at Aimee’s back in return. “It’s okay,” Aimee’s saying, “it’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

        “You don’t know that,” I whisper, but I can’t say any more over the lump in my throat.

        “I do,” she says. “It’s not your fault. It’s not you.”

        A fresh wave of tears wells up in my eyes and I squeeze them shut, burying my face into Aimee’s shoulder as she keeps rubbing circles. “One,” she murmurs, “in. Two, out. Three, in. Four...”

        Shuddering, I inhale and exhale to her counts until finally I can breathe again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even tell your mom or anything, and...I just didn’t know what else to do.”

        “It’s okay,” she says again, “you don’t need to be sorry.”

        The half-light shines on both of us, glinting in the mirror and silhouetting two figures wrapped in each other, so entangled that I can’t tell where one of us ends and the other begins. After an eternity of silence aside from the shff, shff of my hoodie under Aimee’s fingers, her hand stops. I take a step back, but her hand clasps my wrist and she pulls me towards the door.

        “And Mira?”

        “...Yeah?”

        “You’re beautiful,” she says, firm. “No matter what anyone says.” And I almost believe her. I nod, wiping my eyes when she looks away.

        “C’mon, we can go downstairs and eat ice pops, if you want. My mom’s asleep. And then we can watch something in my room, too, if you want.”

        I touch my phone, heavy in my pocket. If Mother hasn’t tried to call me already, she’ll be calling soon, and I’ll have to answer. Aimee’s eyes are full of something I can’t quite identify; I wish I could stay the night, or something, but I’ll have to go back tonight. I’ll have to talk to her. Half of me hopes that she’ll forget by tomorrow and everything can go back to normal; the other half doesn’t want her to forget. I scrub a hand over my eyes.

        Even so, I can’t help the smile that creeps across my face.

        “Okay,” I say, and Aimee opens the door.