#and that's not even a metaphor or anything

[parfaitblogs]

fresh out the slammer ❀ s. reid x reader

in which spencer reid comes home from prison, and needs to fulfil everything he has missed about you. 

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: smut & comfort (18+ mdni) tags: post prison!reid. soft dom!spencer. teeth might rot i was cringing during some of this. established relationship. the briefest of breast play because what do i hate? the word nipple! fingering. p in v. no protection is mentioned but imagine what you will. casual nudity afterwards. spencer's got bruises from prison. i lowkey forgot about his thigh wound until the very end.  word count: 5.7k a/n: there's a completely different version of me in a world where i didn't write this. i hope she's doing well. i feel like i've been reborn. this is stupidly long LOL my apologies. pleaseee tell me if you liked this! or if you didn't! i love feedback! here's my monthly smut fic see you all in october!

Three months wasn't a long time, in the grand scheme of things. A quarter of a year usually went by too quickly for anybody's liking, the year sprinting through seasons until all twelve months were complete, and you were repeating it all over again. Usually. Three months without Spencer Reid, however, went by achingly slowly. And you hadn't originally considered just how agonising they could be. 

Each day was another painful mirror of the last, waking up and going to bed with the same sense of dread in your stomach, oftentimes swallowing you whole and leaving you unable to do just about anything at all. 

Living life without Spencer Reid was hard.

You saw him — of course you did. Despite his original efforts to keep you off the approved visitors list, Penelope Garcia had seen one glimpse of your heart shattered expression upon being told, and marched her way to the prison to slap sense into him. You weren't sure if that was metaphoric or not. 

However, seeing him once every other week and living with him were two very different situations. You hadn't realised just how much you had depended on him always being there when you woke up in the morning until you were waking up to cold bed sheets and a pillow clutched petulantly to your chest in hopes of recreating the warmth only Spencer could provide. 

And then he was free. 

From prison, that is. You hadn't heard it all — information about his time in prison had been kept from you in an attempt to protect your own peace of mind. But you knew from at least the bruises he was always sporting no matter when you went to visit him, that something awful had happened to him in there, and his own brain would keep him imprisoned for as long as it wished. 

But he was free.

And he was here, and you were staring up at his face littered with unkempt facial hair and a head of untreated curls, and regardless of everything horrific he had endured brewing behind his eyes, he was staring at you with the same softness he had before any of this happened. 

Despite the beginning of a protest when you wrapped your arms around his torso, you hugged him, and he hugged you, and even the faintest smell of grime and blood couldn't stop you from gripping onto him with so much force you thought your knuckles would break. 

"You're real," you whispered into his chest, muffled by it, and it shook beneath your face as he laughed, quietly. Beautifully.

"I am," he answered, and you could feel him crushing his own facial features into the top of your head, no doubt inhaling your shampoo. "You're real."

"Yes," you confirmed with a nod.

Maybe hours passed, perhaps only minutes. Whichever it was, you were still reluctant to pull away from him until he did, your face stained with tear streaks you don't remember shedding, his own eyes glassy as your gazes met. 

"You don't want to talk about it, do you?" you asked him, walking backwards as you led him out of the doorway you two had been finding solace in, and further into the apartment space you were ecstatic to share together again. 

"Not particularly," he answered, strides catching up to you and encasing your waist between his hands, tugging your body closer to his own. "Is that okay?"

"As long as you promise not to keep it in," you replied, teeth chewing into your lower lip in a contemplative habit. 

"I have counselling at work," he said, and you nodded, your facial features softening only a little — you knew him well enough to know he wouldn't enjoy said counselling sessions. Breath tickled your lips as he leaned in a little closer, inciting heat onto your cheeks. "Any other questions?"

"No," you replied, your own lips twitching in amusement. "That's it. Why?"

"Because I haven't kissed you in three months," he murmured, "and I want to."

"Maybe," you said with a hum, and he said your name chidingly, eliciting a laugh from you. "Yeah. Okay."

To be honest, you had spent a few too many nights allowing your thoughts to wander and end up dreaming about what it would be like to kiss him again. Whether or not either of you would have the patience to be gentle and kind to one another. In those nights, you had decided you would be. Your heart cracking every time you thought of Spencer alone in a concrete cell that it left you with a gaping hole in your chest. All you really wanted was to hold him and remind him how adored he was. 

Right now, you learned you wouldn't be. 

There was a tenderness in the way his hands found your cheeks to cup, and there was a softness in his fingertips against your skin. Yet, everything he kissed with was anything but. Feverish and quick, swallowing you whole and inspiring a spark in your chest that resulted in you kissing back just as hungry. 

Just when you thought there was nothing left to trigger within him, a squeak left your lips as the result of him tugging you impossibly closer, and he was beginning to walk you backwards, even further into the apartment, his kiss growing all consuming. 

"Spencer," you said, breathlessly, jerking your head back, staring at him, waiting for him to realise you weren't returning your lips to his, and his eyes opened. 

"What?" he asked, almost irritatedly. When he watched the slight flicker of hurt flash on your face at the tone, his own expression became gentler. "I'm sorry. Is something wrong?"

Immediately, you shook your head. "No. I just wanted to check how far you wanted to go," your hands travelled up to his hair, fingers scratching gently against his scalp. "I know there's a lot going on up here."

"Actually, right now it's just you," he said, tilting a head to the side to lean into one of your palms. "It's mostly you all the time. But right now you're consuming it."

"I make such an impact on your life," you quipped. 

"I know you're teasing, but you do," he replied, fingers tracing up and down either side of your jawline, eyes searching each small detail on your face he had no doubt already memorised. "I survived in there for you."

"Oh."

Probably not the most eloquent response for the things he had just confessed, but truly your brain had scrambled within an instant, and you weren't sure what to say.

"Sorry," he said, hands stilling on your face. "To answer your question, I don't know. I really missed you."

"I know," you said when a gaping silence followed his words. "We don't have to."

"I think I want to."

Your eyebrows furrowed. "You can't think, Spence. You've gotta know."

"I've definitely said that to you before," he chided, thinking for a moment, before, "yes. I did. First time we had sex."

"Sue me for repeating important sexual advice to you, Spencer Reid," you huffed. He laughed. 

"No, I mean, I do. Want to," he finally replied. "I'm really scared of hurting you."

"Do you want to hurt me?"

"No."

"Then you won't," you reassured him, despite knowing whatever doubt he had in himself would not be resolved just like that, and it'll probably eat at his mind for a long while. "And even if you do, I won't be upset with you." When his face scrunched and his expression mirrored judgement, you stammered to clarify. "Not in a kinky way. Don't look at me like that, Spencer. Stop it. I just meant I'll understand. And I won't be mad."

"Didn't take you to be into masochism," he mumbled, and you groaned at his selective hearing, dropping your forehead to his shoulder, that shook with his laughter. "Kidding, honey. I know what you mean."

"Not funny."

"It was a little," he countered, a hand reaching up to entangle within your hair to pull your head back, gently, so he could look at you again. 

"Hi," you said when your eyes locked once more. 

"Hello," he answered, his lips pulling into a smile. "I'd like to kiss you again."

"You've used up your kiss for the day, actually," you replied, sweetly beaming up at him. 

"Quiet," he shot back, leaning forwards and allowing his lips to brush hesitantly against yours, eyes searching your own with an added hint of desperation. "Please?"

You pretended to think for a moment too long, because he was already mumbling something that sounded a little like 'brat', and pressed his mouth to yours once more. 

You couldn't complain. 

It was the same intensity as earlier, and yet there was something in it that differentiated the homesickness of the kiss from then, and the desperation now. Large hands — that you would probably allow to encase you whole — pathetically held your face lightly, hips knocking with yours as he walked you backwards and up against the back of the couch. 

"Spence," you whimpered embarrassingly, hands clawing at the sleeves of his suit jacket, trialling and failing at tugging it off his body. 

"I got you, sweet girl," he mumbled against your lips, not breaking the kiss for even a second as he helped you, shrugging the jacket off and allowing it to fall to the floor — something he will certainly chastise himself for later. 

"Bedroom," you said, in between heavy breaths and feverish kisses. A request he was more than happy to comply to, for he had nodded, and you were instantaneously tugging on one of his hands in the direction of the room, his eyes fixated on your body as he trailed behind. 

"Missed you so much," he murmured as he tugged you back towards him the second he had kicked the door shut, lips finding the corner of your mouth, then your jawline, then your neck, as he kissed down you. 

"So you've said," you breathed out, tilting your head to the side as he gently nipped at the skin. 

"Do you get off on being mean to me?" he chided, lifting his head to look at you again, and your heart stuttered. 

"No. Just that dominance act that it brings out," you murmured, attempting to keep the mood light. Successfully so, for air huffed out of his nose as his lips twitched, fingers that had dropped to your waist squeezing it gently. In unresolved doubt, you added, "I missed you too. Don't worry."

"I'm not," he replied, and the weight lifted off your shoulders. "Lie down."

"So demanding," you teased, though his tone was anything but firm.

You were met with an unimpressed look, and you merely grinned back as you climbed onto the bed, sitting cross legged atop it, staring up at him expectingly.

Instead of moving over you like you had expected, he crouched at the foot of the bed, holding his hands out on the mattress in front of you. Needing no more than the simple gesture, you untangled your legs and stretched them out in front of you, and he tugged you down towards the end of the bed, breath hitting the skin of your thighs deliciously. 

"I'm supposed to be making you feel good," you argued when his fingers trailed up the sides of your legs, finding the waistband of your pyjama shorts.

"Why?" he questioned, halting his movements as he searched your face. 

"Because you're the one who just got out of prison," his face scrunched at the verbal reminder. "Sorry. But... yeah. I have thought about making you come the day you got home like daily."

"Oh have you?" his eyebrows shot up, and it was then that your brain caught up to your running mouth, and your cheeks heated up. 

"Nope. Forget I said anything."

"No," he pushed himself up from the floor, moving his body over yours on the bed, successfully forcing you to lie back. "Tell me those thoughts."

"Spencer," you moaned, shaking your head as you buried your face into your hands, that he was a little too quick to catch and pry away. 

"I'm not going to judge you," he said, amused. "In fact, I aspire to know every single thought there is up in that pretty head of yours. Especially the ones about me. Please tell me."

"I just thought about making you come. There's nothing more exciting to it."

"Yes, but how?" 

"My mouth, I guess," you mumbled, voice going impossibly quiet. "I don't know."

"You're acting like you have never given me oral," he said, catching your gaze within milliseconds of you averting it, thumb and forefinger straightening your head again. 

"Nobody says oral, Spencer. Say head," your own face now scrunched up. 

"Lots of people say oral," he defended. 

"Yeah, old people. We are not old people."

"Fine, you're acting like you have never given me head." 

Despite it being a jab at him to take the heat off of you, the phrase coming out from his lips sounded exceptionally vulgar for what it was, and it only resulted in your stomach flipping. 

Finally, you regained some control over your own thoughts, and you found it in you to reply. "That's what I want to do. Because I want to make you feel good."

"You underestimate how much I gain from making you feel good," he countered, fingers lazily caressing the skin of your jaw as his eyes studied your face with an intensity that had your stomach flipping. 

"It cannot be as good as an orgasm," you huffed, stubbornly so. 

He nipped at your nose. "It is."

"Can we compromise?" 

"So you don't want me to give you oral?" his eyebrows rose. 

In every other situation, you would not be fighting him on this. In fact, he would probably have already gotten his foreplay of teasing and teetering you on the edge out of the way by now, and you'd be well and truly content. However, the forefront of your mind was still plagued by how little time Spencer had to take care of himself, and the last thing you needed him to be was at your service. Despite his protests. 

"Head," you corrected. "And no."

He searched for remnants of a lie for a few beats longer, before he nodded his head, giving in. "What's your compromise, honey?"

"I don't think there's a sexy way to say to just put it in me," you said, and his lips curled up into an amused smile, followed by a huff of laughter. 

"No, I don't think there is," he agreed. "I do think anything you say can be sexy, though."

You pulled a face, and you shook your head. "No. Don't say that ever again either."

"I can't compliment you, I can't give you ora—head," he rattled off. "Is there anything good I get out of this?"

"You get to fuck me?" you batted your eyelashes up at him. 

"Such vulgar language," he chastised, ducking his head when a hand of yours rose to swat him. 

Despite himself, his head had dropped to the crook of your neck, and he had begun placing feather like kisses along the skin that distracted you just enough to drop your hand back to the mattress beneath you.

Any other day, and you'd probably still be bickering with him until the minute he made you come. However, three months without even the faintest of touches from him left you overwhelmed with everything he did to you, and so the gentle kisses trailing down to the collar of your shirt were enough to destroy any coherent thoughts you could have. 

Cautiously, and with a touch so delicate, Spencer lifted your — his — shirt up your abdomen, fingertips leaving behind the warmest of trails as they skimmed along your skin. One quiet whine from you was all it took for him to hurry his teasing along, and soon enough your shirt was discarded. 

A quiet, sharp inhale of air was the other sound aside from your quickened breathing, and you felt tears sting your vision as another kiss was placed just below your now exposed collarbone. 

The time without you seemed to weigh nothing in his mind as he took every inch of you in separately, lips mapping out your body like it was the first time all over again, though still knowing exactly when to pause and pay attention to for the sweetest of sounds to be ripped from your throat. 

He liked to hear you. 

Fingers found your waist as his lips kissed down your sternum, then back up and over until they reached your nipple. He spent time on each breast, ignoring your impatient whining as he neglected the rest of you for a few minutes too long (in your opinion).

"Spencer," you scolded, and it was all it took for him to accept you were not in the mood to wait, and for him to decide he wasn't either. 

"Sorry, honey," he replied, voice impossibly soft as he returned his lips to your face, a kiss pressed to the corner of your mouth as his fingers found your shorts again. "Can I take these off?"

"I think we're incredibly out of balance," you replied. And though there wasn't really anything wrong with the sentence — you had certainly said it before — he still pulled back, an unrecognisable grey clouding his eyes. "What?"

"I want to keep my shirt on," was his response, the words inciting confusion to your face. 

"What? Why?"

"Do I need a reason?"

You wanted to scream that yes, he did. But did he? Wordlessly, you shook your head, but it didn't help the pang of worry in your chest. 

"Unless there's something like an embarrassing tattoo, I'm not going to judge you," you decided to say instead. "Did you get an embarrassing tattoo in prison?"

"No," he shook his head, and you were comforted by the amusement in his tone. "I didn't have the best time in prison."

"I know," you replied.

"And I wasn't very liked. By the men in there."

You knew that too, to an extent. You knew the bruises on his face weren't self inflicted. "You're liked by me."

"I know, sweet girl," a heart shatteringly sad smile stretched across his face as a hand lifted to your cheek. "It just isn't very pretty. And I don't want you to worry."

Well, now you were. Regardless, you nodded your head, turning your head to the side so you could kiss the palm of the hand on your face. "I won't worry, then."

"I want to keep my shirt on. Can that please be okay with you?" 

Silently, and after a debate inside your brain, you nodded your head. Gratefully, he pecked your lips once more, before his focus shifted back to you and your body. 

"Shorts. Can I take them off?" he asked, again.

"Yes."

"Thank you."

His fingers collected the fabric of your shorts' waistband, and gently pulled them down your legs, cool air washing over you despite the final leftover article of clothing on your body. You shivered, and you could hear him mumbling nearly incoherent apologies as he kissed your stomach.

"These too?" he then asked, eyes flickering between your face for confirmation, and the pair of underwear you still had residing on your body. You nodded your head, and he pulled them down too.

You do not remember a time ever fearing being naked beneath Spencer Reid's gaze, and that did not change even now, as an arguably different man drank in your entire body, the love he had for you not having wavered despite the passing of time. 

And you certainly did not fear the way one of his hands slid up your leg, seemingly soothingly, until it teetered on the edge of too far up the limb to be innocent, and he was intensely watching your face for every reaction you could possibly make. 

Achingly gently, his middle finger ran up the centre, collecting arousal you hadn't realised was there and knuckle gently bumping your clit, eliciting a quiet mewl from you. You watched him smile at the sound, dragging his finger back down, gathering more of your arousal until he was pushing the finger in.

Your eyes fluttered shut, the feeling oh so familiar, and yet seemingly foreign all at once. Too long, you decided then. Three months is too long.

Leaning back down, his lips brushed your jawline, the otherwise odd sensation of there being something — someone — inside of you balancing out with the pleasure that came from the comfort of it being him. And of course the delicate circles his thumb had begun to draw on your clit. 

"Did you do this while I was in prison?" he asked you, lips moving against your skin. 

"Touch myself?" 

"Mhm."

"Yeah," you said, voice breathless. "Was never good, though."

"No?" he asked, curling his finger inside of you and tugging a louder moan from your throat. "Why not?"

"Just never felt as nice. Not like you."

"Oh. I'm sorry, angel," he murmured, pulling his lips away so he could look at you again. Though, your eyes were still planted shut. "I'll make up for it then, yeah?"

You feverishly nodded your head, and he laughed. Fulfilling his promise, he sped up the motions of his finger and thumb, your hands grabbing ahold of fistfuls of the sheets, in hopes that it will provide some comfort from the overwhelming feeling of Spencer touching you again. 

"Can I add another finger?" he asked, and though slightly hesitant, you nodded your head. 

He waited a beat longer before fulfilling your request, and there was something obscene about how easily another finger entered you. Though, Spencer thought it was pretty, and your back arching was pretty, and yes, he had missed this and he had missed you and he was biting his tongue from telling you that all over again. 

"Spencer," a delicately breathy whine left your lips when the heel of his palm collided with your clit — thumb long forgotten once he had gotten distracted with thrusting fingers in and out of you. 

"Hm?"

Your eyes fluttered open to meet his, the kindest smile on his face reminding you just how much he adored you, and your heart sporadically beat in your chest. When you didn't say anything else, he quickened his ministrations, eliciting more whines and moans.

"Is two orgasms too much for tonight?" he asked you, the question seemingly innocent regardless of both it's undertones, and what he was currently doing to you. 

In hindsight you should've probably said yes. It most certainly would've hurried things along to something he would enjoy as much as you. However, if Spencer Reid fingering you was a religion, you were an eternally loyal follower, and you would do anything to keep him there for as long as you could. 

So you shook your head, murmuring a quiet, "No. I can do two," and allowing him to fasten his fingers once more. 

Fingers found and massaged that spot inside of you he had probably engrained into his brain, and he was leaning down to swallow the loud moan that followed from the feeling. Practiced motions tore the same sounds from your throat as he repeatedly brushed up against it, until your eyes were forced to squeeze shut once more, and hands that were once seeking solace in the sheets, found his wrist and wrapped around it. 

"I can't move if you're going to keep my arm locked up, angel," he said when your nails dug into his wrist, lips smiling against your skin. 

A few short jerks of his hand convinced you to let go of the death grip you had on him, instead returning them to the mattress.

Then he was doing that motion again, and again, and you were silently praying he would never stop. Although, if your moans were any indication to where you were at — and they were — Spencer wouldn't. 

Your hips bucking told him more than he needed to know, and the absence of his body above you when he lay down on the bed next to you was long forgotten when a splayed hand on your abdomen pushed you back down into the mattress, your heart stuttering at the feeling. 

Gentle whines of his name, and a repeated mantra of 'please, please, please' was the only thing your otherwise dismantled brain could come up with, and Spencer was relishing in the knowledge that he was doing this to you. And though it is something he knows he's done before, it had been far too long since and the reminder was always welcome. 

"I know, sweet girl," he said against you when your eyes came open and searched his desperately, walls fluttering around his fingers indicating just how close you were. 

"Please don't stop."

"I won't," he confirmed, punctuating the promise with his thumb returning to your clit. He had your best interest in mind — you knew that. He now wouldn't stop even if you begged him to. 

Overwhelming seemed too insignificant of a word to describe what you felt like when you came, nerve endings all over your body sparking, instead of just the ones he was stimulating. 

His thumb rubbing circles and his fingers thrusting in and out of you didn't falter until your shaking body had stilled and your strings of moans had diminished, slowly coming to a stop and leaving your body — seemingly — as fast as they had entered. 

The content smile on your face was interrupted with Spencer's hand lifting to your lips, and instinctively you parted them, already knowing exactly what he was after. 

His middle and ring fingers entered your mouth, and your face scrunched up despite yourself as you tasted yourself on them. He laughed at that — of course he did — and pulled them out soon after. 

"You do that every time," he murmured, hair tickling your skin as he placed open mouthed kisses over your shoulder, up towards your neck. 

"It tastes weird," you argued, and his teeth nipping your skin told you he disagreed. Though, he wasn't in the mood to argue, for he didn't say anything else on the matter. 

"Still got it in you for one more?" he asked you, pulling his head back so he could see you once again. 

"Yes."

"Good."

Your eyes watched him even as he rolled back to take his pants off, and the awkward smile he gave you provided the inkling of comfort that there was still the man from three months prior in there. 

"I really missed you, you know?" This time it was you saying it, piercing the air as his hand came down between your thighs to part them. The head of his cock nudged against you, brushing delicately through your folds and eliciting a quiet whimper from your lips. 

"I know," he answered, pressing kisses on your shoulder once more. "Are you okay?"

"Me? Yeah. I'm fine," you confirmed with a nod, confusion crossing your features all up until you learned why he was asking. 

A broken moan, choked and caught in your throat, left you when he painstakingly slowly pushed inside of you. There's not a lot going on inside your mind when he stops, your entire body aflame and equally desperate for more, as you were for him to take a moment here. 

"I love you," he breathed out, the words hurried and encouraging your heart to speed up, and your mind to melt even more. 

"I love you too," you said back, voice just as quiet, gently nudging hips ushering for him to move. 

"Impatient girl," he muttered, but you smiled nonetheless because he did (move). 

His thrusts were slow, and gentle, but you never truly minded how much time he took with you once you two were here. Even more so now, for you were on the same page as him, and you wanted to savour every single moment of this down to the second. 

A whimper left your lips, followed closely by the desperate whisper of his name, and lips that were still resting against your shoulder smiled. 

"I thought about this a lot," he said to you, his hand that was holding your thighs slightly open sliding up to find your clit. "I definitely shouldn't have."

"Why?" You knew why, but the thought of hearing him answer it aloud excited you a little. 

Unfortunately, he knew you better than that. "Don't play coy. You know why, honey."

"You're cruel," you huffed, and he laughed, rolling his hips to meet yours, earning another moan. "Maybe I don't."

"Use that wonderful imagination of yours, then," he answered, rubbing your clit at the same time as he moved his hips once more, effortlessly rendering you unable to respond to him again. 

A teenage boy probably could've lasted longer than the both of you, but you decided to blame it all on your already sensitive nerves from a prior orgasm, and the fact that Spencer Reid had not had you like this for over 2190 hours (not that he was counting).

Whimpers escaped your throat as he kept his hips thrusting into you at an achingly slow pace, while his fingers working on your clit did anything but. It was an aching juxtaposition that left you reeling for more, and Spencer was now the one shutting his eyes so he could hold onto some semblance of composure. 

"Spencer," you pleaded, and it was a quiet moan from behind you that told you he was exactly where you were. 

"I know, honey," he replied, the desperation in his voice jumpstarting your heart. "Need to come, yeah?"

"Mmhm," you nodded your head quickly, breathlessly moaning. "Please."

"You're going to. Don't worry. Don't need to beg, sweet girl."

Commingled moans and obscenely wet noises filled the air, and your hips stuttered as your stomach twisted into knots. 

Chanting his name like a prayer, you meet him wherever your two souls go in that moment, and it's a shuddering feeling as you come at the same time as him. For the first time in forever. 

His hand drops back to your thigh and he massages the muscles there gently, willing himself to stop before he crossed the line of overstimulation — not that you think you'd complain about that. 

There was an emptiness when he pulled out, but then he was kissing you again to make up for it, and you were smiling against his lips as you kissed him back. This time, without the fever. 

"How're you feeling?" he asked you, quietly. 

"Happy," you answered, forcing your heavy eyelids open when he pulled back. "How are you feeling?"

"Also happy," he agreed, and your heart soared. 

"Good."

"You need to go pee," he said, placing another kiss on your cheek, before he leaned his body away entirely. 

"Help?"

Arguably, you could do it yourself. Your limbs were tired, yes, and your mind was melting, but you were coherent enough to brave it alone. 

Thankfully, you didn't have to. 

He carried you to the bathroom, running the bath water after you had silently begged him for it with your eyes (looking between him and the empty bath with wide eyes and a jutted lip worked wonders), and leaving you to pee. 

"Are you getting in with me?" you asked him as wobbly legs akin to a fawn carried you over to the now full and steaming bathtub. 

"Do you want me to?"

Hesitantly, you nodded your head, fidgeting with your fingers in front of you. "But you'd have to take your shirt off. So you don't have to."

He studied your face for a moment longer, before he nodded, and fingers expertly worked at unbuttoning down the shirt. 

"I'm okay now. That's the important thing you have to remember, okay?" his words provided little comfort, but you nodded your head regardless. 

You had a suspicion already of what sight you were going to be met with, but it didn't stop the guilt settling into your chest when the shirt fell to the floor anyways. 

"Spence," you murmured, taking a hesitant step forwards, heart falling to your stomach. 

Bruises littered the skin, some fresh and still purple, others nearly healed and yellowing. But there were so many, and it was then that you were swallowing the rest of him in with your eyes, catching the bandage on his thigh. 

"What is that?" you nodded towards the covered wound, and when your eyes returned to his face again, he was staring at you with an unreadable expression. 

"A lot happened," he answered, quietly, before repeating, "I'm okay now."

You nodded your head, tears stinging your vision for nothing more than your ridiculous amount of empathy. "Can you tell me about it?"

"I will," he promised. "Eventually. Just not now, okay? I haven't processed it all yet."

"Okay," you replied, and his heart shattered at the sight of a tear slipping down your face. 

"Hey," he took ahold of your hand and tugged you closer to him, fingers running through your hair and resting at the base of your scalp. "I promise, honey. I'm not going to disintegrate from a few bruises."

"It isn't just a few," you answered, voice wavering. "There's so many."

"You have a heart too big for your chest," he decided to say instead, leaning down to rest his forehead against yours. "Most of them don't even hurt now. Please believe me when I say I'm okay."

"I'm trying," your voice is thick with a sob caught in your throat. "I think I'm just really tired."

"Yeah," he crooned, agreeing. "Your body's released a lot of prolactin, which encourages sleep. Alongside the endorphins and dopamine that you're crashing from upon seeing this."

Wordlessly, you nodded your head, and he kissed the tip of your nose in an attempt to comfort. 

"Bath, then we can sleep, and we can talk more in the morning," he listed off, and you merely nodded your head once more, sniffling and wiping your eyes. 

"Okay."

your reblogs and replies are always appreciated ♡

[thedivinetarot]

Put your white tennis shoes on and follow me, why work so hard when can just be free

How do you lure people in?

☆ How to chose the perfect pile for you?

1) Close your eyes.

2) Clear your mind.

3) Take a deep breathe.

4) Ask the question in your head. Open your eyes and the picture that you are drawn to the most is your pile.

☆ Note:

- This is a general reading, so please take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

- I usually do an energy check for each pile so that the reading can resonates as much as possible.

- This reading is kind of long. Since it is divided into 4 sections. And each section shows a question including the energy check.

Take care ❤

Arya

1) How do you view yourself?

2) How do you lure people in?

3) How do you lure your romantic interest in?

Pile 1 - Under the moonlight

Your current energy

Well, in this pile I see that there's two energies. The first one is that there's a person in your life who is interested in you romantically. He might have scorpio placements or water placements (Cancer, Scorpio and pisces). I see that you are not seeing clearly the situation which is making you feel stuck and stagnant. I see that the other case here is that there's a person in your life or will enter soon who have the placements I mentioned above. At first, you are not going to trust him because you had your fair share of heartbreak. I see that you are going or you are doubting his feelings for you. I see that you think that there's a heartbreak after all this happiness and genuine feelings which is so sad honestly. What I see from the cards is that this person have a very stable feelings for you. But he is either too cold to express them or he have an avoidant attachment style. I see that this person's intentions towards you are very genuine. He want to be in a platonic relationship with you. He want to protect you and support you. I don't honestly see anything harmful coming from that person. The only thing that might sabotage this relationship is you pile 1. I think you are too afraid to be vulnerable and open up to them which keeping you stuck and away from love and happiness. You fear the heartbreak even though that person have literally your best interest at heart. Okay, another energy I'm picking up on is that this pile are working on a project and I literally feel like my mid to lower back is hurting me so bad. Maybe you are putting too much pressure on your physical body which is leading you to feel this way. Or metaphorically; you may be having a lot of assignments and projects for your college/ school or work which is keeping you restless and tired. I see that you are working with a group of people but the main focus is on you idk why. Also I feel like you are working out in a very harsh way which is giving you this pain your back pile 1. Some people here feel pain in their hips and pelvis area too. I literally feel that on my body. Try to rest, drink some herbal tea, read a book and disconnect from the internet. Go out for a walk under the sun (Idk if you live in cold or warm climate but anyways 🥲). Now let's get into the reading.

1- How do you view yourself?

So, this pile see themselves as people who lack foresight and decisiveness. I see that you guys are aware of your own potential but due to laziness and being discouraged by your life circumstances you chose to leave the battle without even trying to fight back. I see that you chose to surrender to whatever life have offered you. You could be a new school graduate who doesn't want to go to college due to your financial state. I see that also this pile are quite mature emotionally. You are a bit nostalgic to your childhood and how things were safe. I see also that you are for whatever reason; you think that your life will change like magic. I will explain to you. You see those movies where the girl lives her WHOLE life thinking she is an ordinary person but then someone tells her that she is a decent queen or princess and her life turn around 180°?(princess diaries movie is a reference here) I feel like this pile want change so bad but at some point you gave up to try and change anything. Like you lost your passion to live or even that your life will improve. I see that you are someone who is very artistic, someone who is very spiritual too. You like traveling, you like learning about different cultures. You like to educate yourself instead of scrolling endlessly on IG or tiktok. But I see that there's still hope for you. Also, what I'm seeing that this pile are quite innocent and if not then you are someone who always feel this sense of nostalgia. You feel nostalgic to people, to places, you always have something to reminisce over. Another thing I'm picking up on is that people in this group are quite motherly. They like taking care of people especially young children. You like setting with them, you like how sweet they are. You might tell yourself that you want to become a mother one day. Some people here view themselves as a gate to heaven. How so? Like you see this person who enters your life and their life change for better? I'm picking up on people with esfj, enfj, infj, isfj, estj mbti. Someone who changes people, who fix them. Who can show them the great future that await them if they change. Pile 1 you see yourself as a catalyst to change.

2-How do you lure people in?

First thing I'm picking up on is that this pile appear stable in front of people. You look put together and elegant. I see that even if you do not wear the best clothes you have people still think that what you are wearing is expensive. I see also that you appear quite heartbroken, there's this melancholic aura around you. Another thing is this pile are quite mysterious by nature. You do not overshare yourself and you keep people thirsty for more. You appear also quite faint? You see those people who are enigmatic? Their hair color is very high in contrast with their skin. There's this aura of mystery around you, which make many people wonder. "Who is she/he?" I am seeing that you are quite magnificent. In the previous paragraph I typed that you view yourself and someone who is innocent and sweet, people also view you like that pile one. They view you as someone who is lovely to be with, especially new friends or people who want to be your friend. They get so excited and happy when you are around. Also, I see that people view you as someone with many potential. You literally know that and you see it in yourself. You know that you have so much potential in you. People in your company feel in awe honestly. You make people also aware of thir beauty and potential. You see beauty everywhere you go. People also see that your views and opinions on the world are quite interesting. You see things in different light and you make people see what they was not able to see before. You appear as a lone wolf to people. You are always alone in public enjoying a drink or walking. You presence is so liked by others. I see beauty and brains yo you could be someone who is blessed by beauty and also smart soo (lucky you pile 1).

3- How do you lure your romantic interest in?

People who are romantically interested in you see that you have many options. That's why they do not dare to make a move on you. I see that many People crush on you but they fear coming in out of rejection. They fear getting rejected by you pile 1. Also I see that you appear as someone who is content on their own and you do not really want someone out of neediness. You want them because you like them That's why. I see that, you might have stalkers. People in this pile might have got stalked online or physically. I see that because of your mysterious aura People really get curious about you. I see that this pile attracts older men. Like if you are in your 20s you might notice that men who are in their 40s and 50s are attracted to you. And if you are a guy reading this then women really get intrigued by you, especially if they are older. I also see that you always have an option but you chose to stay alone because you think that working on yourself or studying is what really matters. I see that romantic interests tend to view you as someone who is out of their league, someone very nurturing. They may call you wife material and they are right! You are loyal and honest. I see also that you attract older men. Because they are more authoritative and more wealthy that people your age and a little younger/older. Some people in this pile like the baby/daddy dynamic, Idk why but I keep hearing "every man gets his wish and 1949 by Lana Del Rey" go listen to them if you want to. There's a lot of references on the cards on sugar baby/ daddy relationship. Honey, if you want an older man/woman or a sugar daddy/mommy you can easily attract one and believe me you can literally make them your slave. I see that your romantic interest value you because you are not afraid of walking away from things that do not serve you. I see that the love relationship that you are seeking and imagining in your head is meant for you in this lifetime. And you are going to get them no matter how old you get.

4- Placements for this pile

Fire placements (Aries, Sagittarius and leo). Earth placements (Taurus, Capricorn and virgo). Aquarius, Cancer, Venus in scorpio. Pluto with aspects to the ascendant. Mars, jupiter, Uranus, Mercury, neptune dominant.

Pile 2- A cross the shore

Your current energy

Okay, I see this pile feels disappointed because of a man in your life? He could either be your father or someone you are with in a relationship. I see that this man is sabotaging your happiness. You could be so happy and satisfied and then you set with him and your mode change 180° for the worst. I see that also if you are a woman you might be a gemini and this man is so cocky that he make you feel anxious and out of element. Another thing I'm picking up on is that this pile are trying to juggle many responsibilities but due to stress and anxiety you are just postponing your priorities until you get the mind clarity that you are looking for. And if not that case is applicable to your case then I see that you are someone who is very structured or organized and there's many responsibilities on your shoulders right now but due to stress and exhaustion you are just surrendering to life? I see that you need some time for yourself pile 2, try to reflect and take a break. If you have many responsibilities then break the task into small baby steps so you can complete it; also try to take a break between each task. Pile 2 your spirit team is telling you that the worst have finally ended and they want you to know that whatever thing you wish for you'll get it. I see that they are encouraging you to get out and be more social and be optimistic. They hate seeing you sad and anxious. They want you to know that they love you and they are working day and night to insure that you are safe and sound. Idk why I started tearing up I feel suddenly a wave of warm emotions, I also feel so tired and sleepy pile 2 if you want to sleep please go and sleep everything will be alright. They are telling me that the clarity you want will come to you quickly and you don't have to work for it. You only need to set still and listen to the synchronicity they are sending you. Each one of those synchronicities have something to do with what you want to know. God bless you pile 2.

1- How do you view yourself?

I see that you view yourself as someone who is very spiritual. A priestess, I'm seeing. You like to dive deep into the unknown, you have this thirst for dark knowledge like occult, witchcraft, tarot, astrology, alchemy and other forms of divination. I see that you see yourself as someone who embody the pluto archetype. Someone who is in a constant inner change, you could be now having your first or second spiritual awakening which is kinda harsh in your lens. I see that you are someone who is very patient and stubborn. Someone who can reach whatever they want. I see also that you see yourself as someone who is scattered brain and your head is always in the clouds. You could be a dreamer too. I'm seeing that you are someone who is trying their best but you feel like the best thing is nothing important to anyone. I feel like you might see yourself as someone who is an outcast? Someone who is overlooked by others. People don't really take you seriously and they think that you are dumb? (I'm not saying you are dumb neither people around you, it is your perception to things pile 2). I see that you see yourself as someone who is mentally ill, someone who is overlooked by people from their own gender. You might have dealt with girls/girl friends who used you for what you have like money/service or attention and then they ditched you when their business has done. I see that you might be so attached to your female caregiver so much it could be your mother or grandmother or old sister for some of you. Put I'm seeing that this caregiver is old like in their 40s. This pile has a really melancholic perspective of who they are it is like someone who is lost. I see that unlike pile 1, you use your intuition a lot or you started listening to your intuition in order for you to survive. You might have given a lot of people lots of second chances but they played you again until you literally got drained and depleted of energy. So, as a coping mechanism you chose to stay by yourself so you can protect your inner peace. I see you may call yourself a freak in a proud way. Like you see those people who got treated horribly because of their personalities but then they accepted the fact that it is what it is and they started calling themselves of what people called them proudly? You might be like this.

2- How do you lure people in?

Well, pile 2. I see that you act distant and aloof in front of people but once you warm up to someone you can be really helpful. I see that at first people see that you are starting fresh and new in your life (because of your spiritual awakening) they see how mentally and perhaps physically you are changing. I see that you try to do your best to keep your life together, people can see that you are trying but what make them sad is you do not ask for help. You do not want anyone to help you. You think that no one cares but in fact people care more than you think. I see what really make those people stay away from you is that you do not give them a chance to reveal themselves. You might be in a survival mode and you see everything in black and white but life is more than that. This pile make me so sad. It is like I'm not reading for HOW you lure people in it is like WHAT people's reaction when they see you and it is completely two different things. I think that this pile need to work on their perception of themselves because the way you see yourself play a major role of how people treat you. I think that you have self worth issues and you think that you do not deserve happiness or love or friendship. You are telling yourself the SAME damn story to convince yourself that it is what it is but it is not WHAT YOU THINK! I know this awakening is so hard but believe me when you emerge from your cocoon as a beautiful butterfly you'll see how good it is. I feel like many people in this pile are confused of which stage in the spiritual awakening you are in. Personally I've gone through that and this video will help you. I feel like you are in place in your life where survival is an apparent theme and not really anything else. You might be on survival mode for like months or even years. It is not for everyone so take what resonates.

3- How do you lure your romantic interest in?

Okay, due to your distorted self perception of yourself your romantic interests tend to avoid getting closer. But they do see the potential in you. I see that to the opposite gender you might be someone who is considered cute or attractive in general, but the thing is you do not see that yourself. I see that the opposite gender see you as someone who is the wish come true. To them you are someone who is very familiar and lovely. They are so pleased when you talk to them. I told you pile 2. Your self perception is stopping you from going after things that will make you happy. I see that your romantic interest sees how cool and good you are but they fear coming in because of the rejection and heartbreak you'll cause them. I see that you are a forbidden fruit to them. Like they are allowed to look but not allowed to taste or touch. Like a beautiful painting on a wall, they want to get closer to you, they want to touch you and get to know you but you are the one who is running away from anyone who mignt be a good option for you. You might like to start your relationship with the opposite gender as friendship and then develop it into something romantic. I see that your romantic interest view you as someone who is very fortunate, someone who is sweet, bubbly and someone they can trust to have a family with. People in this pile are divided into two sections, one energy here; their romantic interest views them in a sexual lusty way. Like you might be blessed with curves (bigger boobs, nice body shape) they see all of this and they are like "🤤", If you are a man or male I think the opposite gender see you as someone hot or you know very attractive too. I think people in this pile, their romantic interest see you as marriage material. They touch themselves as the thought of you pleasuring them. Others in this pile attracts people like them. Like if you are someone with low self esteem, you'll attract someone with low self esteem too. If you are commitment phobe, you'll attract someone exactly like you. So be careful. In this pile you might feel like your romantic interest mirror your inner self. The trauma, your fears, your doubts, how you see yourself. They mirror it, so please pile 2, try to work on that we want to attract good people into our life.

Placements for this pile:

Gemini, Capricorn, Sagittarius, Water placements or water dominants (Cancer, Scorpio and pisces). Taurus,Virgo, Jupiter, moon, Saturn, Mercury, Pluto dominant. number 3 is significant in this pile.

Pile 3- The light house

Your current energy

Hello pile 3. How are you? I hope you are doing well. First thing I'm picking up on is that this pile is confused. I feel like you just woke up from a deep sleep or you have slept like +9 hours but you are still tried. I feel like this pile are trying to heal and seek clarity. I see that you are trying to label your values and what you really want from life. This pile’s energy are quite serene. You are living your life in a monotone way. Like you wake up, go to work/school/ college, study, eat, go to sleep. And the cycle repeat itself again. You want change in your life but you know that change will not come easily unless it starts from you pile 3. You know that and you are aware of it. You are aware that in order to change you need to work on yourself, you need to get to know your values, what you like and dislike. You want to get to know yourself and what you truly want to live. I see also that you are hanging on a connection that you think has potential but believe me darling, this connection is just an attachment. You are attached to this person and not the other way around. Perhaps, this person may at some point saw something in you but they do not know how to reach out. They do not know how it will work and you know that too. This pile’s energy is very stable, and rational honestly unlike pile 2; I felt like I'm suffocating and I cried while typing their paragraph. Anyways, I see you guys are thinking of moving into another state or country. I see by traveling there; you will put an end to the stagnant energy within you or your life. I see also that this pile will suffer from a short term poor financial state but then everything will be alright. I see that someone might enter your life pile 3, he could be a sagittarius or have sagittarius placements. This person is very driven and sexy omg. I see that soon He will be in your life. The cards are telling me that he will be there all of sudden. His entrance will shake up things in your life for the better. Don't worry pile 3, you will have the cake and eat it too. Soooo enjoy the attention.

1- How do you view yourself?

This pile view themselves as someone who is witty and cunning with a hint of manipulation. I see that you know how to use people to your liking and advantage. I also see that have a pretty convincing way of communicating. You know how to gaslight people to give you want you want. Some people in this pile do manipulate people intentionally, they know what they are doing. I see that you can be pretty lazy and harsh with people. You might have mercury in sagittarius? Or mercury with harsh aspects to pluto? Someone who is very intelligent and lazy. Almost gives me INTP, ISTP, ISTJ, ENTP and some of you could be INFJ or INTJ too. Many of you have been through a lot of financial issues which forced you to leave your lazy tendencies and start seek a job so you can feed yourself. I feel like you are someone who lives alone in their own apartment or own a house by themselves. But you owned this after you worked like a dog to earn this money. I see that some people here lack imagination and you don't really understand why some people call themselves dreamers. You thunk dreaming or imagining things is a dumb thing or you seek the psychological meaning behind it. People in this pile are so logical and pragmatic, you have no connectionto emotions becauseyou think people who think with their heart are stupid. You prefer to see things in objective way. And you hate anything related to theory. You see that there's no use in using theories and you only believe in hard facts. In this pile I see also that you hate being bored I remembered when Lana twitted on X "you are boring me to death and I'm already dead". I think you hate boredom too pile 3. You hate boring people and dumb people. People in this pile can be Narcissists or Machiavellian or you have symptoms of this personality disorder (take what resonates I will not label people here as good or bad you know if you are good or bad pile 3). Also you have a high self esteem and you think that you deserve the world. You might be working right now so you can be in a high position in society. Someone who is authoritative and demanding. You want people to fear you and to respect you more than to like or love you. You get thrilled when someone announce that they hate you and they are your enemy. You like that and it gives you this energy boost. I see also that you are digging your way up, you are trying to prove to yourself that you'll be someone great in the future. You have this enormous drive to you that make you go on and on to reach your goals I'm hearing Marina song "High achiever can't you see, baby nothing come for free" but I forgot the song's name lol. You are always working on your goals and have a vision for the future.

2- How do you lure people in?

Omg this pile is quite bitchy. I hate saying this but people are attracted to you and hate you at the same time. They are attracted to your charm but they hate it when you turn the table on them. You might be someone who LIKES to gossip and because of that almost no one really want to be your friend. People like it when they come to you for advice because you are not swayed by emotions or imagination, you give them your opinion without being shy of sayingthe truth. You lure people in there's this drive to you, the ambition. Especially if you are a man or a male or masculine, everyone droll over how masculine you are. They like how decisive you are. People see the inner power in you, they see how passionate and wonderful you can be. Also you intimidate people, your presence make people uncomfortable because of the powerful aura you show to others. I see also that there's this wonder-ness about you. People in this pile here are not ashamed to explore and discover what they want as I mentioned in the energy check in. I see also that you keep ignoring your intuition and you lack emotional maturity which is soon will be changed. I see one of the lessons you'll learn in this lifetime is to be more emotionally intelligent and to be more compassionate towards others. People see that you are a me me me person. They see that because of your confidence and charm you can be a bit (How can I say it?) You are attention seeker? You are giving me The Weekend vibe idk why😭.

3- How do you lure your romantic interest in?

Your possible romantic interest view you as someone who is warm and optimistic. Most of your romantic interest crush on you because of how you look. They have no idea how dangerous you can be lol. Anyways, your romantic interests view you as someone who doesn't have man friends or a lone wolf even if you are an extrovert and you know a lot of people they assume that you are a lone wolf who doesn't have many friends. I see that your romantic interest are mostly dreamers or people who are delusional. Or I see that you attract people who are the total opposite of your personality. It is for a reason and the reason is to connect more with your emotional side. Your romantic interest feel scared of approaching you because you appear a bit unbalanced or a player. They see you as someone who will probably play them and fuck with their heart (A heartbreaker honestly). You might be someone who is considered attractive to people in the country you are living in. I see that you have a very sexy aura and you sexual energy is out of the chart. You might post nudes of yourself just to tease your crushes online. You have many stalkers too. If you are a guy many girls stalk you online. And if you are a female/girls/feminine many guys harass you online and they send you +18 pic of their.... you know. I see also that your romantic interest view you as someone who is quite harsh with words or someone who is very honest like bluntly honest which most of the time hurt their feelings. Your romantic interest view you as someone who they see a long term relationship with. They see you as someone who can pull them out of their shell. Also someone who is very smart and intelligent. They like how smart you are.

Placements for this pile

Air placements or dominant (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius). Sagittarius, Leo especially the ascendant, Capricorn, Sun, Mercury, Venus, jupiter as dominant planets in your chart.

Pile 4- Eye of a mermaid

Your current energy

Hello pile 4, how are you? Well let's get into the energy check of yours. First thing I'm picking up on is that you are either in love with someone who doesn't love you back or you have ended a romantic relationship because of a third party. But what mostly obvious here is that there's chasing and convincing. I see that you or the other person are chasing one another and no it is not mutual. It is like the more feminine energy in this connection is putting too much effort that the man started to feel egoistic and self assured that the feminine won't leave him. I see that you guys are very generous and selfless people. You have many friends and you are spending majority of time asking for their advice on your love life. It is painful honestly, I feel like my heart is sinking. You have many potential pile 4 and whatever you are chasing won't come to you unless you detach and forget about it. It is okay if we love someone and they don't love us back but the problem is when you hang your WHOLE existence around that perosn. Love is pure, genuine, it is the most pure energy in this universe. So, don't be sad that they are not sharing their love with you. Instead, be concerned on how to detach from that person. Another energy I'm picking up on is that you might be in a fwb situation or poly relationship. I see many parties interfering with the relationship that you feel the person you are loving is not loving you back. This person honestly is not the best so, try to move yourself out of the situation and give them a block for 2 months. If this person tried to reach out during these 2 months then they care for you and if not then you are just a replacement (sorry for being harsh on you pile 4). I see that this pile here there's someone perhaps a soulmate. This person is coming too soon into your life so whatever situation you are in, you'll find someone who will give you the love that you give to others and they will held you accountable. Okay my dears?

1- How do you view yourself?

Okay, first thing I'm picking up on is that you are someone who really hate change. You can literally eat the same food, do the same routine and live on the same frequency for ages without trying to change you life circumstances. Also, I see that you are someone who is very smart and intelligent. You see yourself as someone who is not swayed by delusions. The funny thing is (what I'm picking up on intuitively) that you say that you don't believe in tarot, astrology or paranormal stuff but you manage to read tarot or like being curious about your placements and other stuff. I see that you see yourself as someone who is pessimistic and not that funny or optimistic at all. The cards are also telling me that you need to change or at least accept the idea of change. You appear as someone who is very charming, tempting or someone who is quite attractive to others. Also you are someone who is very active, you like to keep yourself busy during the day. I see a job that requires you to stay active and in service. You could be a waiter/ waitress or cashier? Someone who is always moving. And if not then you are an athletic who have to always be training. You are someone who is always in their head. You might have anxiety or anxiety attacks randomly. You might also try to surrender to circumstances but there's this voice inside you that always nagging you to keep fighting and pushing back. I guess that's why you are always pessimistic pile 4, it is because you hate how you are forcing yourself to keep going. Because after all this enforcement you are not getting the result you aspire to get at all. You are someone who is very generous with time, effort and money. I see that you view yourself as someone who is very cooperative and if not then you view yourself as an extrovert who have many friends. The cards keep replying the same idea which is the selflessness. You need yo balance the give and take energy in you. If someone gave you attention try to give them the same amount they are giving you and don't take it too far. I see that you have people pleaser tendencies. I see that you don't really see the people pleasing thing as a problem at all. Like you truly like to help others because it heals something in you. I'm picturing Monica Gellir from Friends. She have this strong energy, presence and above all she is so caring and hard worker. You may have something in common with her. I see that you are someone who is a bit romantic too. You like romance, but you see those people on tiktok who read lots of romantic stuff and when someone actually is interested they cringe? You might be like that. I see that you are someone who is very loyal, especially to your friends. You might have you venus or moon in Taurus. I'm sensing here a lot of devotion from you guys unlike pile 3 they are narcissists lol.

2- How do you lure people in?

Pile 4 are you an ENFJ/ESFJ? I feel like this pile are a knight in a shining armor. I feel also that you project a picture to people that is not true about yourself. You may pretend like you have a specific traits that are not in you or you lie about sensitive stuff to avoid the hard feelings that come with it. Many people in this pile are very active and action oriented. People see you as someone with a lot of energy to give to others. I see that you are very helpful and people like that. The way you lure people in is a mix of fogginess and helpfulness. Or you may see that at first people project alot of stuff into you, they may tell you things that is not necessary you. Pile 4 do you have neptune/ascendant aspects? Because people always tend to project into you stuff that are not there. People may view you as someone who is naive, others tend to view you as someone who is manipulative. And so on and so forth. I see that also people view you as someone who lack imagination and if you are imaginative by nature then they see that you are someone who is not spiritual at all. They may tell you that you look helpless even though you know where exactly you are going. There's this fog around how people view you. They can't quite tap into who you truly is! Which leave you misunderstood by others. You are exactly like someone for ex, who spent their whole life being told that they are selfish but you are not selfish and you know that. I see that people see you as someone who is a hard worker. They see your efforts and they appreciate them too. People (because of the projection thing) can't really tell you who you truly are. They see the effort you put but not your potential. You may get laughed at when you claim to want to be a model, a singer or anything because people don't seem to think that you can do that. In fact you can, it is just the thoughts of them that they project onto you which is quite sad honestly. People tend to get possessive of you and attached not because of who you are, but because of who they view you to be. It is like those people have something missing and they paint you with what is missing in their life and they claim that you fulfill all the things that is missing from their life. It is sad honestly because they can't see you for who you truly are, instead they project into you. This pile feels like an object to other people which keep them stuck in the same patterns. I guess from what I'm seeing in the cards that your life mission is to get to know yourself and stop letting others project into you.

3- How you lure your romantic interest in?

Okay, your romantic interest see that you are someone who is very independent and ambitious. You may attract a lot of mentally ill people into your life? Or people with avoidant attachment style or peoplewho are non-committed? I see that this people are quite manipulative. Like for ex, they may lie to you about something that they don't have and then you get shocked of the truth. I see that this pile attracts many cheaters. Or people who is considered a walking red flag. People in this pile may have dated people who do not love them. Not love, I see lust. The opposite gender may lust over you a lot sadly. You may be someone who is considered attractive or beautiful in social standards. You attract many cheaters into your life and indecisive people too. Like okay, those people can never be serious or committed to you at all. I'm picking up on the other woman vibe. A girl or a woman who is so beautiful, she have a big heart but all she get from the opposite gender is cheating, lies non-committed relationships or you may be the side chick in the relationship. That's why in the beginning of the reading I felt this sense of unrequited love! It is because you want a relationship, you want love but you can't seem to attract those to you and it is frustrating! You may always try to prove that you are more than a beautiful face/body but unfortunately they only see you as a sexual object. And if you are a man you may have dated several women who were not serious about committing to you or women who is considered hot but are superficial and only cares about money (like more than who you truly are). This pile is sad honestly, all people here are not seen for who they truly are but instead who people want them to be. So, I see that you'll take a reflecting period and quit dating for a while just to see what you truly want and if you are already doing that then good for you pile 4. You deserve applause 👏🏻. Take time and detach, learn how to love yourself, and seek the truth! You truth and what truly matter in your life.

Placements for this pile

Fire placements especially Aries, Air placements (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius). Earth placements (capricorn, virgo and taurus). Saturn, Mercury, jupiter, Uranus, neptune, sun dominant.

Post dated: 22nd of Sep/2024- Sun

*Feedback is appreciated

[spacejunkgalaxies]

Every interaction with Godot during trials is just:

Judge: Interesting. What do you have to say on that, Prosecutor Godot?

Godot: *shakes head and sips coffee* (the Fragrance of Dark Coffee kicks in) Humans… are like mugs. Filled to the brim with the bitter velvety darkness… of secrets. Like a pot of coffee made of the finest selection of well-roasted beans. And it would seem that YOUR bitter darkness… *slams coffee down* has a few unwanted grounds floating in it.

Phoenix: … hey godot. wtf does this actually mean.

Godot: basically you suck shit and you’re stupid. and everyone hates you

[abra-ka-dammit]

Yesterday morning Zelda cat begun straining to poop. Since she's still unable to breathe very well, the exertion was making her breathless and she had to keep laying down. She was able to get some out and had scooted around and matted it up on her butt so i cleaned and shaved her rear. Her butthole was swollen. Then she went into the still-standing oxygen kennel. I watched her for a while, specifically her butthole, as she laid on her side panting and trying to push. I watched her anus get wide and strain against a solid wall of brown that seemed to be making no progress past it. It sucked back in as she gave up, but she began to relax. I thought maybe with time more poop would move forward and help her out, or maybe it'd get out enough that i could manually remove it for her. Instead, she stayed in that kennel the rest of the day, trying to poop, failing with 0 progress, and then laying helplessly panting. I gave her albuterol over and over, but no matter how well she recovered, when she tried to poop again, it just triggered another fit.

So I took her to the ER with the hopes they would be able to remove the blockage and we could just go home. But the vet who talked to me sorta (metaphorically) slapped me back to reality. If she ever got constipated again (which would surely happen eventually) this would happen again. Any time anything happens that requires her to put forth too much effort, it would make this happen again. They had put her back in oxygen and told me if we proceeded she would likely need to stay a couple days etc., just to go home and be stuck in that kennel again.

Even if I could afford it....I couldn't make her go through that all again. The still-healing tooth punctures and claw scratches on my right hand/arm are a testament to how much she hated it.

Not that it was especially cheap to put her down, either. I guess in part because I obviously wanted her ashes returned rather than dumped among those of countless other late pets. Still though, almost $900??? Like sorry your beloved pet is gonna die but first u gotta pay out the ass to do it this way rather than letting her suffocate herself to death at home. I had to split it across my carecredit, almost-full credit card and my pitiful bank balance, but I managed. That said, if anyone has a buck to spare to help me recover from it a little faster, I would really appreciate it.

https://ko-fi.com/nocato

[khoirkid]

Whumptober Interview with Amethyst!

Before the glorious event that is whumptober, I reached out to Amethyst to ask a bit about her process and what to look forward to. (Everything is shared with her permission.) You can find her tumblr @amethystfairy1 so hop on over and give her some support for October!

Q. How does the writing style and process change for a month-long event verses just writing?

A. I guess with like, my long form stuff, I write with a ton more detail for the month long events, especially since I've done multiple now, I try to pick out a specific thing to center the fic around and use that as a through line, strip it down to it's bones, and just go with that... I try to be a bit more abstract and use extended metaphors for the month long events

Q. How do you find a balance between the TTSBC AU and the TT au?

A. I don't. [A]ctual answer... um...I don't (Interviewer: Well, you know you have a 50/50 split for whumptober, right?) I DO... WAIT... I DO???... THAT WAS A TOTAL ******* FLUKE... you give me far to much credit... no that was a total coincidence

Q. Are there any characters you feel like you’re drawn to for whump?

A. Tango and Scott. [I]ts just because they feel so bright and spunky... so breaking them in different ways is really interesting... And it's different from like, Grian Pearl and Jimmy because with the three of them their fannon characters have such a wide expanse of styles that slotting them into the broken avian mindset wasn't impossible...it was tricky at times for Grian to write him being so docile and obedient because pesky bird and all but even still, with Tango it doesn't fit, and so finding a way to make it fit is super interesting! Same with Scott!

Q. Is there anyone who isn't easy/fun to whump?

A. Everyone is fun to whump in some way... As far as not easy ...Pearl has been tricky, mainly because I write her so as being so solid in her emotions usually

Q. Is there anything you think will surprise readers for the coming whumptober?

A. I think there's a lot more plot relevance than people realize on the way. Several of the fics are... crucial to the plot going forward.

Q. Do these writing challenges help you come up with some of the plot or does the plot just fall into them?

A. Both! The plot has it's shapes and curves already, but doing these writing challenges sometimes helps me put pins in specific themes to tie in important plot points and drive the au forward.

Q. Finally, is there anything readers should watch for and what day are you most excited for?

A. Day 10 and Day 25 will probably be the most plot relevant of the bunch! As well as Day 31! I'm personally the most excited to for Day 10, as I think it's going to be super amazing seeing the response to that from everyone who's been so kind as to follow my AUs for so long!!!! (Interviewer: It's a well done major ouchie) I love thinking about that as I'm writing, especially since both TT and TTSBC have gotten so much love, imagining what folks are going to comment and enjoy about it!

[tsuwabuki]

what if kobeni had a contract with famine?

1. she's the first one to mention starving in the infinity devil trap.

2. you could hide some foreshadowing under innocuous comments that anyone could make. it's not odd for a poor 20 year old girl to take comfort and enjoyment in tasty food. mentioning the hobby right after 'my devil is a secret' could be nothing, but....

3. someone on reddit mentioned a possible 'final girl' devil with kobeni which I love but I felt the kitchen knife mention would match better with famine. after all, we see falling devil act as a chef preparing a meal for famine. could expand that to kobeni.

4. after famine reveals her name at the aquarium, a kobeni bro makes his debut. also if the infinity devil was used by famine here, was it also used by famine the first time we see it?

5. what we know of famines motivations and context as a horseman translates well to a theory on kobenis abilities. they seem quite powerful when activated so you would need a powerful demon.

5a. ok so my theory. when kobeni is starved of enough good things (family, luck, companionship, safety, bravery, etc), to the point she is fully starved from her humanity, she becomes hyper competent.

you see her fail to reach this state in the hotel due to her clinging to humanity (feels bad about wanting denji dead, for stabbing aki, etc). I think she succeeds in reaching hypercompetence during the rhythm game bit due to being terrified and isolated, it just so happens that the hypercompetence went into playing the rhythm game.

the only other moment where kobenis devil contract ability(ies?) come into play is after her partner gets killed protecting her and she finds out her whole team has been wiped out.

5b. ok so how does this hyper competence after 'starvation' relate to famine as a devil? well the horsemen act as as symbols and metaphors for humanity/life to triumph over.

we see that supported by both conquest and famine taking the role of nurturing humans to become stronger. you could even make that claim for all devils but this isn't about that.

starving is supposed to trigger humanity's instinct to survive by Doing Whatever It Takes. this fits nicely to how I think kobenis contract functions and why she would accept a nerf on her life like that (and how it plays into mental health, childhood abuse, and how someone could choose permanent(?) self destruction at such a young point of their life).

the fact that we see her devil contract trigger (rhythm game) after she's already left public safety means she's stuck with that contract probably the rest of her life. she wanted to go to college but her neglectful parents forced her to pick between sex work and the equivalent of demon fodder.

and because we don't know anything about her contract, we don't know how much she gave up to have this power 😭 being starved of good luck sounds like a really bad longterm debuff even if you theoretically get really good luck at your most terrified moments.

i lost my train of thought here but I'll add one more tangential thing. fujimoto is showing multiple examples of what childhood abuse and/or lack of a stable life can do to someone and how those systems help, hurt, and trap them. kobeni is an example of something more grounded despite her being comedic relief and I love that contrast with her.

she was forced to join the military due to family pressure and economic situation, could not handle the mental strain and quit with a potential life long disability that could get worse over time. she gets a job at a fast food restaurant and has spent her life so far hopping from one toxic 'family' to another.

anyways. throwing kobeni famine contract into the theory pile

[pugh-bug]

Marooned

Art Donaldson x ex wife reader

Part: 1 of 2

Word count: 2,488

This was supposed to just be a one shot but I got carried away! If you want to be added to my permanent taglist for all Art Donaldson x reader works please let me know 🫶🏻

——————————————————————

A seagull flew over your head, narrowly missing your ear with its wing as it passed. What were you doing here out at sea alone? It was reckless and you hadn’t done reckless for quite some time. You thought a boat ride alone might clear your head after the argument. He meant well, your boyfriend, but he could be a naively hurtful prick when the mood was ripe for it.

The engine moaned and groaned as you got further out to sea, the waves rising and falling gracelessly. Night had fallen and you had no signal and no way of knowing the way back to shore. It hadn’t seemed so far away moments ago but now every edge of the world seemed to be filled in with ocean. You tried to steady your heart rate as a large wave approached your modest boat and the engine whirred and creaked with fear. Just as you braced yourself for the wave a loud horn announced itself nearby. When you opened your eyes you were looking at his.

——————————————————————

‘Art?’ Your voice was hoarse as you looked up at the man pulling you up. The wooden, glossy floorboards told you you were no longer on your own boat. The man tried to explain to you what had happened and where you were but all you could focus on was the icy water dripping down your skin.

‘Let’s get you inside Y/N.’

You followed him into a lavishly decorated, wood panelled room. If it weren’t for the rocking beneath you you’d swear you were on land in some hotel. The lamps were Tiffany and the tables were mahogany, as expected your ex husband had done disgustingly well for himself. Even the scent in the air was rich.

Art fetched you a wool blanket and a towel before guiding you to sit on the inviting leather armchair opposite him. You shivered as he poured you both what appeared to be whisky, no doubt some 100 year old stuff no one had access to but him.

‘Do you need anything else?’ He asked as he sat down, his voice steady. You could hardly believe your eyes, 10 years it had been since Art Donaldson had been in your presence. 10 years since the divorce. Life had been kind to him, he looked older yes but he still had a youthfulness to his face. He was still handsome, still no doubt the tennis player most young female fans had posters of in their bedrooms.

‘I’m okay,’ you breathe, gathering yourself. ‘Thanks for pulling me out.’ In truth your memory of the night was already hazy and cloudy, almost in black and white. You remembered the gurgling of your engine dying and the size of the wave coming for you but nothing more. A familiar voice?

‘I couldn’t believe it was you when I saw your face. What the fuck were you doing in that out here on your own?’

Art was equally appalled as he was amused. Perhaps he was impressed with your attempt at independence and bravery, something he hadn’t got to see much of throughout your marriage.

‘To clear my head.’ It came out as more of a question. You needed alcohol to settle your nerves, a few more drinks would satisfy.

——————————————————————

‘Are you still writing?’

‘About tennis?’

Art pulled a face to say about anything, as if he didn’t believe you had the guts to write at all anymore. He wasn’t wrong.

‘No, didn’t have much opportunity after the divorce.’

Art raised an eyebrow at your comment, and the casual way you sipped your whisky afterwards. He watched you fade from view, metaphorically of course as you were in fact only inches away from him, as you remembered something. A memory from long ago that you’d tried to forget but couldn’t. It lived in the line between your eyebrows, the downturned smile you gave when you were concealing a lingering sadness and the constant sipping of your drink.

‘That day,’ you suddenly weren’t looking at Art across from you, you were looking at the memory of him ten years younger. ‘I was waiting for a call before you came home from Aidan - my agent - about the new book,’ Art nodded, remembering the man in the Prada suit who insisted on interrupting his time alone with you with phone calls about blurbs and font sizes. ‘And he picked up, must have rang him twelve times before he did, but when he did he told me he didn’t want me as a client - that my writing was average and he wanted better representation.’

‘Isn’t that supposed to be your line?’

You shrugged, still looking through your ex husband not at him, and sipped once again. ‘He got angry when I asked him why, started ripping apart my last articles and my last book. I think the word that came up,’ you pursed your lips at the memory. ‘The most was disappointing.’ As the boat bobbed, you pictured your old desk in yours and Art’s home where you’d received that call and you pictured Art arriving quite suddenly finding you staring at it.

After a long pause Art sighed a simple: ‘I never knew.’ because he didn’t. Of course he didn’t, why should he? That day had been painful enough without your failures as a writer coming into play. ‘Well, it’s not what stands out the most from that day anyway.’ You smiled, your down turned smile, at Art’s pensive face.

‘No, I think the toaster you smashed still wins.’ Art chuckled and you let yourself laugh at the absurdity. How were you on his boat? You didn’t believe in fate, it was all too simple an idea for you to take seriously, but something about it being almost ten years exactly since that day was alarming. Perhaps satisfying too, if you’d admit it to yourself.

Art stood up to fetch himself his jumper. ‘For what it’s worth, I always liked your writing.’ This you had to hear.

‘Really?’ It had come out even drier than you’d intended. ‘Because I seem to remember you selling any copies I gave you.’ That was only partially true. Twelve years ago Art had been spotted outside a hotel the two of you had been staying at by a desperately excited kid. Art had had nothing on him to give the poor fan but a copy of your latest book he’d planned to read in bed that night. Being the sweetheart he pretends not to be Art gave it away - only for the kid to pass him his last note and hightail it down the street smiling. Maybe sold wasn’t the right word afterall.

Art sat back down. ‘Adrian was a miserable agent and clearly stupid to have fired you.’ The whisky had started to have an affect because his words warmed your heart more than they had the right to.

‘You just never liked him because he didn’t find you funny.’ A playful smile edged itself onto your face, mirroring Art’s. He placed his glass down on the mahogany table, his eyes gleaming and not leaving your own, before scoffing. ‘He was alone in thinking that.’ Arrogant bastard.

‘I think, if you refreshed your memory you’d remember that I was the funny one.’ You couldn’t pass up the opportunity to swill your glass like a Bond villain to add some flourish to your comment. The atmosphere on the boat had shifted completely. You were starting to feel ten years younger and if it weren’t for logic you’d swear Art was looking ten years younger too.

‘You looked pretty funny flailing around in the ocean.’ Art quipped, enjoying himself a bit too much. You had to disagree. ‘You’d have felt bad if I’d have drowned!’ A giggle threatened to escape your chest.

He considered that for a moment, how bad he would feel if his ex wife was nothing more than a memory. Would he be allowed at the funeral? He didn’t know how badly the divorce had affected your scathing parents. The only thing your Mother had said to him on the day of the wedding was ‘Take care of her’ and that had felt more akin to a threat than advice. ‘Not sure your parents would have forgiven me.’

You scoffed, taking another rather large sip of whisky. ‘Don’t be ridiculous, my Mother thought a lot of you. She’d probably bail you out of prison.’

‘I didn’t mean her.’

The insecurity and guilt was evident on your ex husbands face, even through the slight haziness of your whisky lenses. You knew what he was remembering and it wasn’t just the offhand snide comments your Father would make at family meals or New Year’s parties, no. He was remembering that day.

‘Well…it doesn’t really matter now does it.’

Art adjusted in his seat, not ignoring your frown. He wanted to ask you something while he had you to himself for the first time in a decade. He might regret it. He might wish not to hear the answer, if you’d even be gracious enough to allow him one, but he had to know.

‘Can I ask you something?’

You shot him a just go ahead look.

‘I was always confused about - I mean about why you married me.’

‘Hmm.’

It took you a moment to figure out the write answer, an answer that was a mix of honesty and restraint. You’d already had a shitty, stressful day but something about him even daring to ask that after such a long time of no contact made you curious. Perhaps you needed closure for the ending and he needed closure for the beginning. You had to allow him that, he had saved your life after all.

‘We were twenty two I mean, doesnt everything seem like a good idea at that age?’ But giving closure was harder than you thought as that was a bullshit answer and you both knew it. You didn’t think you’d ever see Art again, let alone be trapped on a boat with him in the middle of the ocean discussing your marriage. All of your feelings, strong as they were, had been buried with the divorce papers and the box of his stuff he’d never come back for.

You had another sip, a nervous one, feeling Art’s eyes on you growing increasingly frustrated. He wasn’t going to let you change the subject that much was clear. If you were staying the night on his boat you were going to have to open up about this.

‘Okay,’ you sighed. ‘When I first met you you were the only boy who even tried to understand me, in any capacity. You didn’t want me to be your cheerleader and you didn’t treat me like a sexual exploit. I actually,’ this was harder than you thought. ‘Laughed harder around you than any of my friends. You made me feel great pretty much all the time and you listened to me. I didn’t have to fake anything with you. When you asked me to marry you I didn’t have any doubts.’ You looked at his eyes pointedly. ‘Did you?’

Art was stunned but he knew he believed you. He’d never forget your face when he proposed, not if he lived a thousand lifetimes. ‘No.’ Without question the answer was no.

‘Then-‘

‘Then why’d I do it?’

You’d never asked so he’d never told. He wasn’t sure he had a proper answer. No answer would rid him of the decade long guilt that festered its way through his veins like a cancer.

‘It was only once, I know that. Just tell me why.’ You kept your voice calm but the hurt revealed itself anyway. Even after all the promises, all the if I ever see him agains here you were showing your decade long pain to the man responsible for it.

‘I think the ‘forever’ part of marriage had started to feel like pressure. More pressure I couldn’t fucking handle.’

He’d lost the U.S Open the week he went to her flat behind your back. While you were watching the results on tv in the family room, shedding tears for your beloved husband and all the work he’d put in, he was with her.

‘It just sort of happened when-‘

You raised your hand, almost like a lawyer. You suddenly didn’t want to know, didn’t want to picture that woman - that girl really - writhing while she road your husband into the bed.

‘I’m good.’

Art was relieved at your gesture. He didn’t want to relive that life changing mistake. The mistake that lost him you.

After a long and cold silence, you let Art off the hook with a quip about her. About if they were still together - which of course they weren’t and you knew anyway. As much as you’d tried to avoid Art like any other ex, Art was no ordinary ex. His face was plastered on magazines, your television and your phone. You’d know if he sneezed, what time and whom he was with.

‘No,’ Art smiled at you knowingly. ‘We didn’t really gel as it happens.’

‘Uh huh.’

‘She wasn’t-‘

‘Tennis?’ You raised an eyebrow at him, knowing the only real threat your marriage had been sport not another woman.

‘You.’

He let you sit with that for a moment, looking pensive as he drank more. You took a large swig of your whisky yourself, as a way to fill time more than anything else. Art’s eyes were fixated on your face and on your features, comparing and contrasting them with your younger self you imagined.

‘You haven’t changed much.’

‘Is that a compliment or an insult?’

In your marriage it had gotten increasingly difficult to decipher the two. When he referred to you as ‘Mrs Donaldson’ it was once clear that he found you particularly alluring that day but the honorific had become sour. Patronising on occasion towards the end.

‘Compliment.’

…and yet you missed being Mrs Donaldson.

‘Is this where I tell you whether I’m single or not?’ You sat back in your chair, analysing his reaction. Wanting information. Wanting him to give a shit who was with you, touching you - holding you at night. Art’s eyes flickered at the subject you’d brought into question, feeling your daring nature come into play.

‘Are you?’

‘No.’

His jaw clenched as you smiled sweetly, as if you’d just informed him you were now a nun and only had eyes for the Lord. ‘Why wasn’t he with you on that boat?’ Art questioned, leaning forward slightly.

‘Argument.’

‘Who won?’

‘We never finished it.’

That seemed to amuse Art even more.

‘We always finished ours didn’t we?’

You smiled at his wistfulness and the strange pride he seemed to take in that fact. Suddenly you felt very far from your boyfriend and new life indeed.

‘I won almost all of them.’

———————————————————————

Taglist: @amorisxx

Masterlist

[tinytalkingtina]

Born to Run

Part 1 of Running with the Devil, a Steddie role reversal series

4k words | Rating: E

Tags/CW: Role reversal no upside down AU with some canon divergence, Jock/Track Star!Eddie, Metalhead/drug dealer!Steve, appalachian Eddie, confident bisexual Steve, Eddie has a sexuality crisis but is in denial, Eddie's sleeping mind decides to take matters into its own hands, wet dream (contains spanking and public humiliation), running of both the literal and metaphorical kind, child abuse referenced indirectly (physical beatings that happened in the past)

Read now on Ao3, and be sure to read @little-annie's Part 2 from Steve's POV, "Metal Health will Drive you Mad"

The sex dream within this fic is brought to you by the Week 4 prompt "slap" of the @steddiesmuttyseptember event

Eddie was always a runner. If you asked Wayne, he apparently skipped straight from crawling to toddling around as fast as his chubby legs could carry him. When he got older, it was a release valve, for everything and anything shitty in his life.

He didn’t have to think about his mom pulling a disappearing act, or his dad getting himself arrested (again). The world would narrow until the only sounds he could hear were the rushing in his ears and the smack of his sneakers on pavement.

Running had brought him to where he was now, as he clawed his way up the proverbial high school ranks. Anyone at this party would look at him and only see the triumphant senior captain of the track team, fresh off a successful meet. Every keg stand, every heroic retelling of a close race, every sloppy makeout session with a cheerleader, kept the attention on the Eddie of the present. 

No one needed to remember the wide-eyed weirdo with patched baggy clothes, nearly ten when his classmates would only turn nine that year.

All around him, the crowd ebbed and flowed between the alcohol and the bonfire, the flickering flames and shadows making it hard to tell who was who. Someone stumbled into Eddie, breaking him out of his brooding.

“Whoops, sorry Eddie! Guess I’ll have to make it up to you later.” Before he could say anything, the giggling cheerleader pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. (He knew he went on a date with her about a month ago, but her name eluded him. Tina, maybe, or Vicki?)

He forced a grin back. “Of course you didn’t mean it sugar. Gonna hold you to that ‘kay?”

The girl possibly named Tina swooned at the tiny bit of accent he'd carefully slipped in. Just a touch could be charming to the fine folks of the Midwest, even if what he ended up using was way less Appalachian hick and more refined Southern gentleman than his momma's family had ever spoken in their lives.

As soon as her back was turned, he let the smile slide off. His post-meet high wore off too quickly tonight, and it left him well, twitchy.

An arm slung itself over his shoulder. "Ed my man, this party is wild! Your best work yet dude." Tommy grinned at him, already drunk. Neither of them commented on how close Tommy was pressing himself into Eddie. Or how Eddie wasn't quite moving away. But then again, the two of them had perfected the art of leaving things unsaid after what happened sophomore year, how close they had come to—no.

"Heh, yeah. Hey, where's Carol? She's gonna be pissed you abandoned her."

"Please, Carol's fine. She's busy talking with Lisa Carmichael. Speaking of which, she's really into you. Come on, get your dick wet, you deserve it after that 800 meter. We're fucking going to states!" His last sentence was said much louder, and a chorus of cheers and whoops predictably echoed back from celebratory partygoers. The twitchiness grew.

"I dunno man, not really feeling it tonight." Eddie tried to subtly back up a little bit, but Tommy just swayed forward into his space again.

“Trust me, you won’t be feeling like that when you're balls deep in a nice tight—"

"Tommy will you just fucking stop? What's with your obsession with my dick huh?"

A look of fear and hurt flashed across Tommy's face for a second, before it was replaced with a scowl. Fuck that was the wrong thing to say and danced way too close to the thoughts about—nope, they were not gonna talk about that.

Eddie carefully pat Tommy on the shoulder instead of thinking. "Shit sorry, it's fine, you're just looking out for me, right? I appreciate it, just not uh, really in the partying mood for some reason." 

Tommy managed to recover his grin. "Oh, duh, why didn't you say so? That fucking freak Harrington finally showed up about thirty minutes ago. Sure he's got something that'll make you unwind a bit. Here, have one on me.”

Eddie wanted to snap that he didn’t need pity money. He got the kegs supplied just fine on his own, hadn’t he? But Tommy was still holding himself tensely several steps away. Tommy, who in sixth grade biked over every other day even after his parents had told him to stay away from the trailer park. Who “accidentally” always had a second pudding cup tucked in with his lunch for sharing. Whose summertime freckles were just starting to fade but Eddie knew still trailed down all the way to his—. 

Besides, maybe weed would take the edge off whatever ugly thing kept rearing its insistent head inside him tonight. Help him forget about the looming pressures of the future and the things he wasn’t going to think about, help him feel normal again.

“Thanks Tommy, I’ll try and relax.” Eddie grabbed the money and set off down the path towards Skull Rock, where Harrington always held court. The chill wind rustling through the trees was a welcome respite to his overheated skin.

The walk over to the next clearing was only a few minutes, but by the time Eddie came upon it, the thrum of bass and general teenage debauchery had faded into a low murmur.

Instead, Skull Rock reverberated with the sound of tapping and gentle humming. Eddie’s heart picked up a little.

Read the rest on Ao3!

It's finally here! This began life as a brain worm that Annie and I have turned into a whole fully expanded universe. We can't wait to write more with these two :D

Tagging a few folks who showed interest in the original Wiggly Wednesday post (but please feel free to ignore): @eyesofshinigami @augustjustice @griefabyss69 @hairstevington

Thank you to steddiecameraroll-graphics for the runner divider!

@dreamy-jeans137 @eriquin @hbyrde36 @hotluncheddie

[hiseyeisonthesparrow]

Hi! I’ve been learning more about Mormonism lately, and I know that Mormon progressives like you definitely exist. However, I’ve been finding it really difficult to understand how people can reconcile their faith with the verse 2 Nephi 5:21 without believing in white supremacy. I understand there are theories about it being metaphorical, but I’ve been having trouble understanding them. If you could offer me some insight, I would truly appreciate it! Thank you in advance.

Thanks for your question! I am unfortunately painfully white, so I may not be the most experienced of people to answer this lol. I'll give it a shot though!

A big tenet of our faith is finding trustworthy sources for questions we have. One of my favorite sources on this topic is a video my dad sat all of our family down and made us watch when we were young*: a talk given by a Black religious scholar called "Blacks In The Scriptures: Skin Color & Curses". It's 45 minutes long, but if this is something you're serious about learning about, you should watch it. You can even 2x speed it if you'd like. You can find it here.

A common archaeological theory is that the Lamanites married, had children with, and culturally assimilated into more of the indigenous population, leading to darker skin. Another idea is that the Lamanites used body paint or decorations that darkened their skin, which would explain the darker skin but not the curse aspect.

Even if the "curse of blackness" is literally about race -- which I doubt it is -- it doesn't mean that, in our gospel, dark skin equals evil.** As the Nephites grew in power and resources, they became prideful and stopped believing. The Lamanites did begin to believe and even became more righteous than the Nephites at one point. As a religion, we also believe that man cannot be punished for the sins of their fathers, called generational sin [see Article of Faith 2]. Those blessed with melanin are no better or worse than any white folk -- all souls are alike and equally capable of exaltation.

[When you look, we have far more scriptures about all people and races being equal than we do about curses of black skin.]

I will be the first to admit that our religion has not had... the best relationship with race. On an episode of Brothaz in the Foyer, they shared this idea that "[Even] outside of church... any organization that's over 100 years old is gonna have some type of history around racism or prejudice." [Side note: that video is also an incredible resource! I would recommend watching it. The Brothaz share their perspectives and experiences regarding race in their religion, and I think it's a helpful resource even if you're not struggling with this concept. It's good to branch out and hear experiences from minority groups in the Church.]

To be entirely honest, I don't entirely understand 2 Nephi 5:21 myself. There are many parts of my faith that don't quite make sense to me, with my earthly mind. Expecting that every member of the Church has to understand and be an expert on every part of our religion is like expecting that every person who loves dinosaurs has a perfect explanation on whether or not there is evidence for a feathered Tyrannosaurus Rex. Not understanding a "curse of blackness" doesn't undermine the idea that I believe in a God who sent a Savior who died for my sins and wants me to return to him. Just because I don't know if T. Rex had feathers doesn't mean I don't believe that dinosaurs existed, you get me?

Anyways, I know I didn't quite answer your question, but hopefully the sources I shared with you can help you come to a conclusion about this [I don't feel experienced enough on this topic to share my own opinions lol, I'll leave it to the theologians of color to explain] And, I might mention, although it's very forward of me to say so, that you could pray about this issue. You don't have to, of course, but it's always an option to anyone struggling with anything ever. Who knows -- you might learn something! :}

Thank you for your ask!

*I grew up in a STAUNCHLY anti-racist household -- went to Juneteenth celebrations, attended protests, met and served friends of color, etc. -- so making the 7 year old learn about Hebrew idioms about race was not too weird for us

** The doctrine, at least, does not say anything about white supremacy. That doesn't mean that members can't misinterpret gospel doctrine and be horribly racist. I have heard of encounters with many a racist Mormon, and my heart aches for all those who have been prejudiced against at the hand of racist Church members.

[chicken-wayng]

rather than handing Rhaenyra everything she wants on a silver platter?

No offence anon but I don’t think you quite grasp what was happening in 2x08 if this was your ultimate conclusion.

First of all you need to understand two fundamental things about the HotD’s writers:

They’ve put Rhaenyra on a pedestal

They don’t like Alicent

Alicent can’t make any demands that negatively affect Rhaenyra, she cannot request an alternative which would mean Jace is disinherited, she can’t do anything that is ultimately anti TB because that’s not the show the writers have made!

Watch 2x08 with the writers’ logic that Rhaenyra has never done anything wrong in her entire life, you’re not even allowed to ask she punish Daemon because that would suggest her welcoming him back with open arms was wrong.

After you’ve done that tell me if you really think they’d have Alicent stand up for herself and her family?

Yup! Alicent cannot stand up for herself or make an autonomous (I think that's the word, if not excuse me I legit just woke up) decision. The first one she made was to wear green, then to support her father's (and her own after a while) ambition, then lastly to go to Nyra. All of her decisions have literally bit her in the ass. I think she's very good as representation for the lesbians that are born into a religion/society that gas lights them. Nyra's never really made a decision without fully thinking about it (She's a blonde that gives us other blondes that reputation 🤣💜) but has always thought she's been the one in control. She's in control of her gender crisis, her sexual identity, so obviously she's got everything figured out. She's a very good rep for the masses that grew up in a religious place, but didn't notice how much it had an effect on them until it was too late and an irreversible issue was caused. Neither of them are truly free, both birds in a cage thinking their song is the prettiest because they've never heard how happy and free the birds outside sound. I cannot to see Nyra's religious madness and for them to knock her off her pedestal (I'm relate most to her btw, shes literally tloml so I'm saying this as a person whose gone through a similar type of religious breakdown), I literally need it if I don't get anything else on my Xmas list but I got that I'd be okay.

Thanksya for putting it into a good explanation for me. I do think prev.anon was talking about how Nyra gets everything on a silver platter, not Alicent. However I like their metaphor because following it I can say that while Nyra's always had a feast in front of her, imagine it's like yellowjackets. In front of her is the young version of her, dead and cooked, smelling of fire and blood. A feast for everyone to enjoy. Behind each person is a vulture. Just cuz it's a pretty platter don't mean the vultures aren't gonna eat. But they're not the ones feasting is literally everyone from Viserys to Daemon to her kids to Otto to her council to the men that trick her and her Aegon into coming to Dragonstone for her death and even Allie. Or even the food is rotten if that's too vulgar, but in both arts (the yellowjackets cannibal feast or the rotten smorgasbord) I'm picturing she's eating with a blind fold.

Anyways sorry for this grammarless spiel, thanksya'll for sharing your opinion and letting me share mine!

[emeraldspiral]

Listen, if you think Dib would ever be an Elon Musk stan/Silicon Valley Techbro, you could not be more wrong.

Invader Zim is a satire where the entire point of Dib is to be The Cassandra, trying to warn people about a very real problem that everyone else is too ignorant, apathetic, or complacent to do anything about. Zim is a metaphor for stuff like climate change, the anti-vax movement, the failures of capitalism, the increasing stranglehold of corporations and special interest groups on politics, and the creeping rise of fascism that Dib is the only person woke enough to notice. Sometimes it's not even a metaphor, he just outright calls out mundane real-world corruption like sending kids out to fundraise for their dilapidated, underfunded public skool but then spending the money on prizes instead of desks, or a megacorporation getting kids to invent products for them to make money off of without compensating the creators.

He would NOT be an Elon Musk stan. Elon Musk is the closest equivalent we have to a real life Zim. An obviously incompetent, narcissistic attention whore who still somehow manages to swindle gullible people into buying whatever bullshit he spews and who we could probably trick into fucking off forever if we just played to his ego and told him we had an important mission for him in outer space. Except even Zim is at least a real tech genius. Which brings me to my next point.

Dib is at least a third generation scientist/inventor. He and his father and his grandparents all know how to do actual math and coding and experimentation and physically build their own tech. They don't just come up with a half-baked idea and then pass it off to someone else to actually figure out how to make it workable. No way in hell would Dib be fooled by Muskrat's phony "real life Tony Stark" persona.

[chqnified]

I need my own documentary. I'm so fucking entertaining. And not even on purpose.

[lazycranberrydoodles]

everybody go home. this is my magnum opus

[theoldkyokodied]

Uploading all my Tomgreg art at once from the past few week before season 4 hits, who knows in what kind of mental state i'm gonna be once it does :')

[hajihiko]

Depressionmetaphor.png

[worstloki]

AU where Loki doesn’t interfere with Thor’s banishment at all and it takes Thor years to prove himself worthy and when he returns to Asgard everything is just. The same. Nothing seems to have changed at all and everyone greets him like his absence was a minor obstacle that didn’t fundamentally change Thor and the worst part is Loki stepped down from the place as regent without any delay and Thor can’t help but feel there’s something underlaying the way his brother looks at him now and won’t let him touch him and Thor doesn’t know what he could have missed because he doesn’t think he would have found anything wrong with the things around him and how everyone behaves if he hadn’t spent time on Earth reflecting.