#missing my bus stop. and having to power walk into work

[chqnified]

I need my own documentary. I'm so fucking entertaining. And not even on purpose.

[uncouth-the-fifth]

click, p.2 - Sam Winchester/Reader

read it on ao3.

Pairing: Sam Winchester/Reader (late s5) Tags/Warnings: angst, love confessions, romantic sex, oral sex/cunnilingus, (aka, Sam pussy addiction: the shequel), Sam is Lucifer's vessel, reader is AFAB. Word Count: ~11k. Notes: i was commissioned for the second time by the lovely @daffodil-mania, who wanted a continuation of her last fic set during the "say yes" era of s5. (sooooo dangerous to let me put my grubby hands on this version of Sam, btw). i cannot express how BUCK FUCKING WILD uncouth-nation went for the first part of this fic, so this is for all the wonderful people who gushed over click, commented, threw me some kudos, or even just read it and liked it. lots of love, and i hope you enjoy <3 i did my best to rip out your soul as best i could. THIS CAN STAND ON IT'S OWNNN AHHH. i mean. if u wanna read it <3 Ask to be added to my taglists for future posts!

FIVE YEARS LATER

The walk from the bus stop to your apartment is a safe and easy seven minutes. If you were any other person in any other world, you’d glide onto the bus after your night shift at the university, hop off at your stop, and bumble toward your apartment without a single care in the world. Maybe stare at your phone the whole walk back. Text a hot guy who isn’t the physical manifestation of the devil on earth. Normal stuff.

But this is your life, so you sit front seat on the bus, hands in your lap, tapping a nervous beat against the angel blade hidden in your book bag. The windows rattle in their frames and gleam with rain. You could get off at your stop and take those easy seven minutes home—but the bus driver could also be a demon, so.

Since you aren’t in the mood to die a slow death tonight, walking a few extra blocks to keep anybody from knowing where you live will have to work.

On day two of this, you’d called Dean and asked if you were being extra paranoid. He’d kindly pointed out: Extra-paranoid is just extra-survival. I dunno about you, but survivin’ a lil’ extra sounds fan-fuckin-tastic to me right about now.

He’s right. You know he’s right. But it still doesn’t feel like a good answer, and that makes you picture Sam, twenty-three and still bright-eyed, running his fingers down your bare back and scowling. I’m sick of surviving. One of these days, I want to actually live my life.

But that had been before the apocalypse, before Dean’s deal, before everything. Sam was a different man now. Hunting had reached into all three of you and ripped all sorts of things out, but you would never forgive it for taking Sam’s hope for something better. God, you missed that Sam. You missed him more than anything.

The city bus lumbers up to the curb and spits you out onto the sidewalk, where you superstitiously hover, waiting for the other passengers crawling away from their night shifts to scatter. It’s only when the bus is a dark spot in the mist down the street that you start to walk, your whole body caked head to toe with oily rain. 

This time, you take a random left toward your apartment and serpentine street-to-street, never walking the exact same way the same week. By the time you’re closer to where the bus could’ve actually dropped you off, the lingering smell of old research books has been practically power-washed out of your clothes. You try to think of anything but the freezing, biting, face-stinging rain… and, like a moth to a flame, your mind floats back to Sam.

It’s been over two weeks since he dropped the nuclear option. Over two weeks ago, Sam wanted to say yes to Lucifer, and over two weeks have passed since the massive, unstoppable-force-meets-immovable-object fight that’d erupted as a result.

Dean had blown up. Sam had pushed. You’d burst into tears and clawed into Sam just as deep, because why, why would he ever go there—why would that even be a fathomable possibility in his mind? Did he really think so low of himself? How could he ever give up like that? How could he leave you—?

The worst part was easily the way Sam had reacted. With Dean or John, he could yell himself hoarse, but when it came to fighting you all he could do was sit and take it. He put his head down and nodded at everything you said, even the cruel things. In some ways it made you angrier, but also inconceivably, cosmically guilty. This was Sam’s choice. And of course, because this was Sam, his choice was to save the whole goddamn world. Not a single bone in your body carried that level of selflessness, yet Sam bled the stuff.

You were still furious with him, but only because being mad at him was the only option you had left. The right thing to do would be to tell Sam, I trust you to make this decision, this is your life, and let him take that jump… But you didn’t have it in you. Saying that felt like pushing him over the ledge yourself, or telling him you’d never cared about him in the first place. If you were angry at least you were still fighting for him in some way.

You’d been on board for everything—trying to find a way out of Dean’s deal, trying to kill Lilith, everything. But the argument with Sam had torn out the final piece of you that could stand this, so you packed a bag, told Dean you’d be in a strict research-only role, and booked it back to your hometown. It was cowardly and stupid and beyond selfish, but you knew your stance. The hunt had taken everything from you. You refused to let it take Sam, too.

Maybe, Sam would take you stepping away as a serious sign to change his mind. You couldn’t imagine a world where Sam and his Winchester stubbornness would ever do that, but. It was a nice wish to hold onto.

By the time you make it up the steps to your apartment building, you’re soaked to the bone and audibly making pathetic shivering sounds. Your bookbag feels heavier than ever, digging a trench into your shoulder as you fish around for your keys. The second your apartment door is open the true weight of your exhaustion hits you—

—and then utterly disappears, replaced by a shock of pure adrenaline.

There’s a new pair of boots by your front door.

You catch the heavy door before it goes swinging against the doorjamb, straining your ears against the ringing silence. The bedside lamp is on in your room.

On dead-quiet feet, you slip in, click the door shut behind you, and slip off your bookbag. Your angel blade is in your hand in a second, but you risk a few extra steps toward your kitchen table to wiggle loose the pistol you taped underneath. Just the weight of your weapons in your hands flicks the hunter muscle memory back on in your body, and before you can think you’re hiding in the shadow beside your bedroom door. Listening.

Soft breathing. The pages of a book turning.

You know, instinctively, who it is—you would know him dumb and blind and dead. But these days, anybody could be piloting his body around.

You suck in a deep breath through your nose, heart throbbing in your ears. You wait until the fingers on your gun aren’t shaking anymore, then burst inside the room, slamming the door into the wall and whipping your pistol up to eye level.

Sam’s head flinches towards you. He is exactly as you saw him two weeks ago; solemn, determined, and open, the air around him practically steaming with safety and goodness. He’s sat comfortably on your bed, reading a book he brought with him. Despite everything, your belly still curls with butterflies when you lay eyes on him. Sam. Definitely Sam, and no one else.

Still, your paranoia has gotten you this far. You both stare at each other for a beat, equal parts scared out of your minds and relieved. Without a word, you keep your gun trained on him, and Sam lets you, his eyes big and understanding. You shuffle sideways to your dresser, and without turning away from him, pop open the top drawer and toss him the silver flask of holy water you keep hidden inside. 

He catches it. So, not a shapeshifter, then. Sam takes a drink of the holy water, even turning to the side so you can see the water go into his mouth. (A demon in Missouri had slipped past the three of you by pretending to sip—only Sam would know that.) You’re still a little terrified, but you manage to pull your weapons back down to your sides. You still don’t know what to say.

He’s really here. The part of you that had worried the argument with Sam would be your last wails with joy. He’s here, alive and in front of you. No matter how awkward you feel you can’t bring yourself to stop staring at him. By the buttery light of your bedside lamp, he literally glows with beauty, and you realize he’d scrubbed his boots off on your welcome mat to not track mud in, and he’d hung up his rain-soaked jacket in your shower to dry. Stupid polite Sam things.

You dare to glance back at your kitchen, then swivel to squint at him. “Did you… do my dishes?”

Sam lets his hands relax into his lap and nods, shy. He’s looking at you in a way he never really has before, eyes big and soul-rending. “…Yeah. I used the key you gave me to get in… Hope that’s okay.”

There’s another long pause. Usually when you stare at Sam, he doesn’t stare so intensely back, but you share a weird mutual moment where you just stand there and take each other in. It’s so obvious it’s painful, but if he’s doing it then you feel entitled to devour him with your eyes too.

“I got, uh, bored. Waiting for you,” Sam clarifies. “Thought I’d make myself useful.”

Sam stands from the bed. For a second you think he’s heading straight for you, but he moves toward the dresser behind you, kindly tucking the holy water back where it was stowed. You flit out of his way as fast as you can and set your weapons down on the closest available surface, feeling off-kilter. Why would he come here? Is he going to tell you that he changed his mind?

You hold onto the question, but you know it’s too out of character to hope for. Despair sinks into your gut like a rock in a pond. You know why Sam’s here. He would never make this decision without telling you first—without at least saying goodbye in person.

Your throat locks up with tears.

Behind you, Sam hums, “You changed your hair.”

Right. You’d altered it to be more undercover. You resist the urge to reach up and play with your hair, or give in to any of the fluttery feelings you always feel around Sam. “It’s safer.” Tightly, you ask him, “What are you doing here?”

Sam drags a long breath through his nose. You clutch the end of your bookshelf, your chest crumpling with misery. Please don’t say it. Please, please, lie to me if you have to.

“...I’m not taking the jump,” Sam breathes.

There’s more that he says after that. He talks about how you and Dean are right, and how, surely, after everything that the three of you have been through, there’s got to be another way to end this. You’ve always found another way in the past. Sam explains all this to you in a sure, quiet voice, like this is something he’s thought about for a long time, but you barely hear him after those first words. There’s this persistent tension in your chest that’s telling you that there’s something wrong here, but you don’t care—you don’t give a single fucking shit, because Sam—Sam isn’t saying yes. Sam’s staying.

“…are other ways I can make up for the mistakes I made,” he’s telling you, scrambling to fill the nagging silence.

You take a moment to force back your tears, and Sam, nervously, keeps talking.

He swallows, trying to smile. “I-I would’ve called and told you, but something tells me you wouldn’t have picked up.”

When you’ve got your bearings back, you push away from your bookshelf and turn to face him. Your legs are so leaden that you feel as if you have to physically pick up your body and drop it down the other direction, but you manage it. “What… what made you change your mind?”

Sam gets one look at your face and wilts with guilt. He doesn’t answer your question in words—just shoves his hands in his pockets and stares down at his feet, then around your room, as if his reason was in the air with the two of you. In the apartment. His eyes flicker over you just once, and you understand. Seeing you leave really had scared him.

“Be careful,” you start to joke with him, “you start validating my childish reactions and we’re gonna have a whole new set of problems on our hands.”

Sam scoffs. “It wasn’t childish to run away.”

You raise an eyebrow at his word choice, which gets an honest-to-god laugh out of him. A real good Sam Winchester laugh, dimples and all. The last dregs of anxiety in your gut melt at the sound, and Sam reassures you, shrugging, “You needed to get out. In case you forgot, I kind of invented wanting to get out. I understand. I really do.”

You know that he does. That’s not exactly going to stop you from feeling guilty about ditching them, but at least it kicked some sense into him. God. For the last five or six years, your every moment had been spent with Sam and his brother. Even just a couple weeks without him had drained you, and having him back only makes those feelings more clear. Sam’s presence commands the space in a way that turns your shitty, undecorated bedroom into someplace magical, someplace good and safe and warm, and just seeing him standing there draws the ache out of your spine.

Your reach out for his sleeve. Somehow, he’s more real than ever, a tangible person instead of the memory you’ve chased for so long.

“You’re really not saying yes?”

Sam unwinds your hand from the fabric so he can hold it instead, your fingers scooped in his fingers. You’re given a firm squeeze and are hypnotized by him in an instant, the world narrowing down to this moment between just him and just you.

Sam looks into your eyes when he promises, “I’m not going anywhere.”

The tears you’d resisted before return in one big, merciless wave. You’re so tired and the rain was so fucking cold and you’re so sick of being scared that Sam, thank god, Sam, is everything you could possibly need. He’s not going anywhere. Before you can stop yourself you’re clutching him for dear life, shoving your face in his shirt and crushing his body against yours. These last few weeks have submerged you in survival mode, and you don’t realize how deep until Sam pulls you out of the current. He’s warm and dry, and when you inhale to sob he smells like a 24-hour-laundromat, the Impala, and home home home. You could’ve lost that. You could’ve lost him.

“Th-thank you,” you choke out at nothing in particular, “thank you.”

You’ve cried a lot this week, so there are not many tears left to shed. Still, Sam holds you through all of them, swaying back and forth with you and cooing in your ear. You hear him sniffling too. When you’re both all sobbed out, you pull back to tell him you love him, to remind him of all the things he needs to hear, but Sam strangely doesn’t let you. The second he feels you pull away he clutches you back against him, and you get the uneasy impression that you’ve been comforting him more than he’s been comforting you. His whole body’s shaking.

Sam hugs you for longer than he ever has before. It’s a little worrying, but you’ve both needed it so much that you don’t even complain.

After a while, Sam slips back, and in traditional Winchester fashion tries to play off his vulnerability. He’s always been a dead-silent crier, so you have zero way to gauge how bad things are until you see his face. He looks like he’d sobbed his heart out. Your shirt is still wet from the rain, but even then you can feel Sam’s tears soaking your shoulder. Saying anything about it will just embarrass him, though.

“...I-I, uh,” you lick the tears off your lips, mumbling, “I don’t know bout’ you, but I’m beat. Do you have somewhere you gotta be, or,” you add hopefully, “or can you stick around?”

This is the part where Sam will start coaxing you to drive back with him to where he and Dean are holed up, you’re sure of it. You’re already plotting in your head what to pack and what to take, but Sam never brings it up. He doesn’t worry about tomorrow yet.

He presses his lips together. “I was hoping I could stay here tonight, actually.”

This is an even better answer. You’re nodding before he’s even finished the thought, stroking your hand down his chest. It twists your gut in knots to see him like this, so you start to steer the conversation toward something more playful, something less daunting to think about.

“You’re lucky I like you then,” you smirk. Somehow, you manage to peel yourself out of his bubble and teeter toward your dresser, scrubbing the tears off your face. “Make yourself comfortable. I dunno about you, but I’m getting the fuck out of these work clothes, I’m freezing. Do you need anything to sleep in? I’ve got at least five years of your stolen shirts in here.”

You hear him ease himself down on the end of your bed again, but there’s no sassy retort, sly comment, or any sort of line about you and your stealing habits. Instead, sweet and simple, he says, “I’ll just sleep in this. You can have them.”

Okay. Weird.

Since he didn’t take the bait, you throw out another line and try again. This time, you kick off your shoes, open a drawer, and turn back to him with two of his shirts in hand. “Really?” You wave them teasingly in the air. “You sure?”

They are some of his best shirts, easy. You’re not a cheap thief. The first is a holey, feather-soft Red Hot Chili Peppers tee, and the second is a deep maroon Stanford sweater. He has so few artifacts from that time in his life that there’s no way he won’t want this one back. Right?

But Sam just gazes at you, his whole face soft and loving as he says, “You should wear the Stanford one. It looks good on you.”

Those old hot-shivery feelings for him seep down your spine, and you feel in real-time how your cheeks flood with heat. Damn, okay. Consider yourself wooed.

You’ve been down this road with Sam many, many times—enough to know when he’s flirting with you. The forbidden labels had never been thrown around, but. Well. Sam had been your first time, as well as the many other times after that.

He’s usually leagues more subtle than his brother, but for whatever reason he’s pouring it on by the truckload tonight. When you turn around he’s nothing but big, happy puppy eyes, waiting patiently for you at the end of the bed. (Like you’re his girlfriend. Like anything about this is normal at all, and you and Sam are going to tuck into bed together like it’s any other night). Fuck, you missed him.

The bathroom is only a few steps away, but this is Sam, so you decide to just throw on your pajamas right here. Your shirt is so wet that it hits the floor with a slap. It also takes some experience to wring yourself out of your denim-turned-cement jeans, so it’s not the sexiest show in the entire world. Still, Sam’s gaze traces sensual lines down your back. You would rather go to literal, actual hell than wear your bra for a minute longer, so the second you’re free of its death grip, a long happy sigh drains out of you. A similar dreamy sigh drains out of Sam. Dork.

“I will never get tired of that,” Sam murmurs. You expect to hear some kind of hunger there, but the timber of his voice bleeds with admiration and fondness.

There are very few ways to be a normal human being while Sam Winchester adores your nude body with his eyes. The best you can do is burst into flustered, giggly laughter and give him a good eyeroll, your entire face cooking like a stove burner.

“Alright, loverboy,” you scoff, “I’m gonna go brush my teeth and take my makeup off—”

“Can I help?” Sam asks.

You sputter out another laugh, confused. “You wanna brush my teeth for me?”

“No,” Sam shakes his head, smiling big, “Lemme take your makeup off for you.”

Okay. Weirder. But it’s sweet, and you like this side of him, so you decide to indulge his mood. “...Sure.”

You go about your night-time routine. Sam continues to be a weirdo, trailing you into the bathroom, leaning against the doorframe, and blinking slow endearing blinks at you as he… watches you brush your teeth. Just. Stands there, watching, utterly enamored with this little moment of domesticity with you. On the surface level you’re a little thrown off, but it falls under the category of Freaky Sam Things that made you catch feelings for him in the first place, so. You grin into your toothbrush the whole time.

When he’s satisfied by his little ogling fest, he drifts off to hunt around for your makeup wipes. Either you’re predictable or he knows you too well, because he finds them within seconds, and patiently sits back as you finish up your routine, watching you like you’ll disappear on him the moment he turns away. Click click, you feel inside you.

“Okay,” he says when you’re done. “Close your eyes.”

You do. You wait for the cool touch of the wipe on your face, but instead, Sam’s big, rough fingers find your chin and hold you still. It takes conscience effort to not melt into his touch like a cat in a square of sunlight. Your willpower is nothing on Sam’s, though, so you give in quickly, sinking into his hand and sighing through your nose. In gentle swipes, he cleans your face. It must be a nightmare of smeared mascara considering how you’d cried earlier… And yet Sam had still been so transfixed by you. He’s the fucking best.

Sam’s hand tilts your head from side to side to survey his handiwork. Pleased, he tosses the wipe in the trash and says, “There you go.”

You open your eyes and go to double-check his work in the mirror, but Sam hasn’t removed his hand from your chin, and you really, really don’t want him to. His thick thumb comes up and caresses under your lips. He looks at you like he loves you, and with all the honesty in the world, he utters, “...You are so pretty.”

…The only way for you to survive this is by throwing him a dry look. “You’re full of shit. What’s your game, Winchester?”

That earns you another authentic Sam laugh, along with a handsome boyish smile. “There’s no game. What are you talking about?”

You squint at him. Liar.

“This.” You gestured between the two of you, suspicious. “You’re mooning over me. Why are you mooning? Are you planning something?”

A ripple of discomfort rolls across Sam’s face, but it passes too fast for you to read. His hands go right back in his pockets and he leans into the doorframe again. “I’m just… happy we’re not fighting,” he confesses.

Oh. That makes sense. Sam hasn’t exactly made up with you like that before, but. These times change everyone. You ease up on your teasing and admit, “Me too.”

“I’m sorry for scaring you away,” Sam says, and far, far too seriously for your liking, he whispers, “I’m sorry for everything.”

Your answer slips right out of your mouth without hesitation. “I forgive you, stupid,” your brows furrow together. “And I’m sorry, too. I said some pretty shitty stuff back there.”

Sam wilts against the doorframe a little. “Nothing I didn’t deserve.”

A dull pulse of anger flares in your chest, which flickers out and dies not a second later. There’s so much you want to say to that.

It is so fucking unfair—biblically, cosmically unfair—that Sam, the good guy to end all good guys, thinks of himself this way. He is the kind of righteous they make saints out of. And yet he sits in your silly little bathroom in your shitty little apartment and gives you that look, the look that says, I deserve this and so much more. I deserve to rot in hell for all eternity. He gave you that exact look when he brought up saying yes. He gives it to you now, because Sam sees everything as a sin to serve penance for—freeing Lucifer from the cage and making you a little worried. He thinks he’s so evil, so beyond saving. It makes you want to get your fists in your shirt and just shake him. 

You’re good! You want to scream. Just for once in your life, listen to me! None of this is your fault!

There’s nothing you could say to him that would ever make him let go of his guilt. But, at the very least, you could help him forget about it for a while.

“You beat yourself up too much,” you scold. Then, softer, you add, “C’mere, Sammy.”

Sam does as told, planting himself right in front of you. God, he’s changed. You look him over with a bittersweet smile. He used to be so spindly. The last few years have filled him out, forcing his body into something ready for war. The hunt reached in and tore all sorts of things out of people, but you’d been wrong about what it’d ripped out of Sam. His optimism was still there, warm and humming in the tissue of his body, and just seeing it fills you with hope. He looks so different from the man you’d had all to yourself in that cabin, but you can feel that he’s still in there. He’s still your Sam.

You take his face in your hands, smoothing your thumbs into his dimples and quietly, needily rasping, “...Can I take care of you?”

Sam’s whole body shudders with relief. “Please, yes.”

The next few beats of this dance haven’t changed. Like always, Sam comes flying in with a big, smashing kiss that shatters any leftover barriers between you. You’re not Sam’s girlfriend and he’s not your boyfriend, but Sam makes you his with this kiss. (If only for a little while). Your noses mash together and his eyes squeeze shut and then everything is just Sam, Sam, Sam at every angle. His hands are at his sides then suddenly they’re all over you, taking two greedy handfuls of your waist under the Stanford sweater. He jams your hips against his and kisses you senseless, towering over you, surrounding you, so that when you pull back to gasp for breath your lungs are flooded with his familiar heady love potion.

Either he’s giving off some Poison Ivy-level pheromones, or your body is so familiar with these steps that it knows what comes after this kiss… because you’re instantly wet.

You realized a long time ago that you and Sam have sex a bit too often for it to be considered “casual,” but even if it was, Sam is not a casual kind of lay. After that first soul-stealing kiss, Sam stares you down like a four-course meal, spins you around, pushes you down chest-first onto the bathroom counter, drops to his knees—

—and shoves his face between your legs like it’s his goddamn job.

In the middle of all your surprised shrieking and squirming, Sam nuzzles his face into your panties and moans deep and bassy in his throat, “Yes.”

Like he’s won something. Like he’s been waiting weeks to do this. Holy fuck, you’ll never get tired of that.

The second you have even an atom of your reason back, you slap a hand over your mouth. Neighbors! Sam has already forgotten what neighbors are, and is holy-mission-from-god-determined to make you noisy. He’s extra hungry for it tonight, too. You squeak out his name, not so much in shock, but more because having those huge hands squeezing where your ass starts to round out tends to produce a reaction, and Sam rumbles like a lawnmower in approval. Holy fuck.

He doesn’t have to ask you to spread your legs. One of the hands appreciating your ass slides between your thighs, cupping you through your underwear, and you have to try not to squeal when the meaty pad of Sam’s thumb swipes across your clothed folds. He presses a big kiss in that exact spot as he drags your panties down your legs, and it’s a weirdly sweet gesture that makes your heart and your belly flutter with shivery heat. Fuck. Fuck, you missed him so much.

The first few times Sam had sprung this move on you, you hadn’t exactly had enough time to fully rev up. But Sam is deadly efficient in and out of the bedroom, so he makes a point to get you extra wet (for him) with his spit, laving his hot, slippery tongue over you in one long swipe. He eats you out with all the obscene, noisy enjoyment of somebody gorging on the juiciest fruit they’ve ever tasted. Even you are scandalized.

It becomes embarrassingly clear that covering your mouth isn’t going to keep Sam from what he wants. The high, desperate moan you try to stifle only makes him work harder. You press an arm flat to the counter and bury your face in it for strength, since you’re weak and whimpering for him already. 

Sam was good in bed when you met him. But, by nature, he is a relentless and avid learner, and it’s been five whole years since he put his mouth on you for the first time. Now, Sam is a certified pussy-eating weapon. He knows your body better than anyone possibly could. You’re over the edge in a minute flat.

Your climax flies through you in one whizzing, sparking rush, then keeps flying, until your body’s squeezing out little squeaky pleas for mercy of its own accord. This is his favorite part. You claw into the countertop and wail for it, pushing at the floor in your socks to gain any sort of leverage. To press closer? To squirm away? You have zero fucking clue, since the thought part of your brain has been blasted into a smoking crater. Sam wraps a big arm around your spasming thigh to pin you open, and holy fucking shit, could that man suck the chrome off a tailpipe. His mouth is a whirlwind of licking and suction just on the right side of oh fuck too much that makes your skin feel like it’s fizzing. You are a thread that he’s just pulling and pulling until you’re so thin you could snap into nothing—

You wait for the moment when Sam pops off you, stands up, and goes for his zipper, but he never does. He remains on the floor, determined to lick you through overstimulation and straight into round two. But that’s a whole minute you could spend with his dick inside you instead, and there’s no fucking way you’re wasting that. Not when he’s here and real and not going to say yes. Sam’s not going anywhere. He’s staying, he’s alive, and the world isn’t going to end tomorrow.

“No no no,” you bite out in one short, rattling breath. “S-Suh—Sam, please please—” An unexpected sob shreds out of you. “Miss you. Need you.”

You’re actually, genuinely crying, and not entirely in the fun sexed-out way. Sam backs up. He’s not even halfway standing when you wrench him up the rest of the way, straight into a desperate, maddening kiss. It’s a brutal cross of teeth and tongue. The need for body heat and skin and him burns through you like genuine bloodlust, so you cram yourself up against him with life-or-death urgency. You get your nails into him until you feel something like shirt fabric and viciously yank it over his head, waiting for the moment when he grabs your wrists or shoves you onto the bed o-or—or starts to blow off steam. Cause’ that’s what this is all about, right?

He drags your mouths apart. Sam pants, “Slow down.”

You stop.

This is. This is new.

There’s no slowing, with this. You both go and you keep going until there’s no more fuel in your tanks, and you crawl out of bed the next day feeling like you’ve beaten the rot out of each other. You’ve never once slowed down during this before, and as your wheels spin to a halt for the first time, reality filters back in around you.

Sam stares at you. His hair is all over the place. A patchy blush speckles up his heaving chest, burning in his ears and in his cheeks. Your slick shines on his lips and the bulb of his nose. He’s just standing there and fucking looking at you, but for whatever reason it feels like the color has seeped back into the world.

“S’okay. Gonna be okay,” Sam hushes, bleeding with sweetness.

He picks up your hands, moving you as if you were a delicate glass he was turning over in each palm. Each of your hands are kissed in the center (oh my fucking god) then wrapped around his neck, and when he has you in his bubble he scoops up your face and kisses you.

It’s a boyfriend kiss. Not a blowing off steam thing, or any other excuse the two of you have used to feel each other. A genuine, I’m your boyfriend and I love you sort of kiss, foreheads pressed together, noses touching, the whole nine yards. It’s the kind of kiss that’s meant to say something. Every inch of what he’s trying to tell you echoes through your body in one ringing smash, like you’re a big cymbal he’s taken a mallet to. 

He slips off your lips and hovers, bracing himself for impact. You suck in a rattling breath.

…Then you press up onto your tiptoes to give him a kiss of your own, just pressing your lips against his, unmoving. It’s undemanding; an answer. You try to find the words to describe the shift that’s occurred between you, and end up feeling stuttery and shivery and fucking elated. Romantic. It’s fucking romantic.

“Sammy,” you sob out.

“Shhh. C’mere,” Sam whispers, his voice throaty and whiskey smooth. “Lemme make it better.”

He tries to walk you straight back out of the bathroom and towards the bed, he really does, but you stop Sam every other step to overwhelm him with obsessed, affectionate kisses. God. His chapstick is all over your fucking mouth (along with your slick) and his hands are everywhere else, feeling instead of grabbing.

“You always do,” you breathe, and that might be the most honest thing you’ve ever said to him in bed.

Sam gets this quiet, pleased smile on his face. No matter how naked and turned-on you are, you’ve always got a snappy reply ready, and you’re about to throw one at him—until you’re fucking obliterated. He smoothes his palms down your arms. Your wrists are scooped up again. With all the tenderness on the planet, Sam slides in close, kisses your throat, and places both of your hands firmly on his belt.

“Take it off,” he rasps.

This. This isn’t the first time he’s given you that order. But knowing, feeling that he’s playing this all out like it’s more than a fling to him… that Sam’s gonna fuck you like you’re someone special to him… sweet jesus, it makes you lightheaded.

“Bossy,” your murmur, grinning.

You’re downright feverish going in to kiss him next. Sam parts your lips with a slow, sinful swipe of his tongue, and there must be a drop of psychic still in him, because suddenly you’re flooded with visions of that filthy mouth between your legs. You can still feel the ghost of him there, keeping you open with his thumbs as the blunt tip of his tongue pushes you somewhere vast and sparkly and wonderful. This is going to be even better.

He sounds like he’s praying when he says, “I just like to watch you.”

Muscle memory serves. You work his clasp open without peeking down and let it hang in his belt loops, mostly because it lets his jeans sling low on his hips in the most enticing way. His belly twitches at even the slightest touch of your hands; always so responsive. Sam drops his forehead on your shoulder to watch you work, and you take the rare opportunity to kiss the top of his head. This is one of your favorite parts. When his button is undone and his zipper’s down, you’re free to smooth your hand under his waistband and take a big handful of him.

You reach in and—squeeze. Sam’s hand snaps up to clutch your arm. His nails dig in, and he rocks forward onto his tiptoes to really dig into your touch. “Yes.”

It’s the kind of soft, needy sound that makes you want to smother him with kisses and hug him until he suffocates. Instead, you cooly purr into his hair, “So sensitive, Sammy.”

A hoarse, sharp laugh snaps out of him, which dissolves into a shuddering groan. You tug at his jeans until they’re somewhere you don’t care about anymore, and forget about everything else entirely at the sight of his cock. All these years of sneaking around with him have conditioned you. Just seeing the pretty speckling of dark hair that leads to it, then the real deal, hanging blood-hot and heavy between his legs, makes your tummy flip and your mouth water. One of a million embarrassing Sam-reactions you’ll have to bring to your grave.

You take his cock in your hand, trying to swallow back the slutty amount of saliva in your mouth. Sam whimpers. A real, desperate sound, with his nails stinging down your arms and everything.

“Know you wanted to slow down,” you struggle between open-mouthed pants, “b-but—can’t—don’t wanna wait—”

Sam physically curls towards you, his hips seizing into your hand and his arms hooking around your shoulders. You’re dragged in for a sloppy kiss so deep you swear it melds your souls together. Sam is just as affected, rumbling like a racecar in approval.

“Then don’t.” He begs.

If this was any other night, Sam would just take. You’d be face down and drilled halfway through the mattress by now, no preamble, all business. He got off and you got off and everyone was happy that way. Sam would want the room dark and you would hide your face in the bedding, the two of you eager to touch and experience but terrified of breaking the illusion. He’s so generous that you suppose he’s got to have at least one place in life where he’s selfish, and you’re happy to be his outlet for it, but.

You’ve never seen him take this way before.

He looks at you and he never really stops, transfixed. You don’t doubt you could walk in a circle around him and Sam’s eyes would follow you the whole way, his gaze oozing with longing and something else—resolution? Faith? You push him onto the bed, and he drops down as if hobbling into a pew for the first time, unsure how to clasp his hands in prayer because it’s only ever been something done in his head before.

You stand there for a moment, unsure of what to do next.

“God,” Sam utters, spellbound. 

You’re blushing so hard that you forget to be sexy as you crawl into his lap, but Sam doesn’t care, still giving you those big slow doe blinks to express his love. It’s so different from the Sam you know (yet also so deeply, deeply him) that you forget what it means to be sexy entirely. He coaxes you closer to plant tender kisses under your chin, and the plan to seductively peel off your sweater for him and flash him your tits blips out of existence.

You wait for the moment when Sam shreds the Stanford sweater off you. Instead, those wonderful fucking hands tease under the hem to squeeze your waist, and Sam croaks out between kisses, “Should wear this all the time. You’re beautiful in anything, but this… you’re… mmn.”

Your heart gives a pathetic flutter. You press mindless kisses against his mouth and rock your bare core down on his lap, because he’s never acted this way before and you don’t know how else to return the favor. “Not nearly as beautiful as you, Sammy.”

The only reaction you get from him is a single huff out of his nose, like it’s something he can’t commit a whole laugh to. Like none of that matters anymore, like it would never matter for Sam, because his body may be beautiful, but it hardly belongs to him anymore. God, you’re shitty at compliments.

You’re fucking wonderful, you suddenly want to tell him. A whole swarm of little truths and sweet nothings roars straight up to the surface of your mind, a whole sea of better things you could say to him, but then one of those perfect hands is slipping between your legs and Sam’s asking you in that perfect, tinted glass voice, “You still on the pill?”

“Yes, doctor,” you tease.

Another flood of sticky heat rushes between your legs, because that question is always a precursor to being pressed into and filled and stuffed end-to-end by Sam’s dick. The one barrier that doesn’t—didn’t exist between you.

“Good,” Sam sighs, relieved, grateful. He never turned down going raw in the past, but he’s downright starved for it right now. Closer closer closer, his whole body begs.

You’re tugged in by a big hand hooked around your back, and you fall right into Sam’s summer-warm, sweat-sticky chest, giggling. He loops both arms around your middle and teddy-bear squeezes even more laughter out of you. The only way to hold yourself up is by planting two hands on his shoulders… which turns into his cupping his neck… then caressing his face, because it’s impossible to be witness to that quiet boyish grin and not shower him in affection. There’s all these little freckles on him that you can only see up close. He feels good, mystical good, prophetic-chosen-one type good.

This is the moment. You can feel the blood in your body pounding between your legs, and Sam’s cock bumps not-so-innocently against your core as you kiss one another. Every shift of his hands sends your muscles clenching tight, bracing for impact, but Sam doesn’t push into you just yet.

Your confusion must be clear on your face, because he says, “Just let me feel you for a second.”

And, obviously, you’re not an idiot, so you let Sam feel you for as long as he pleases. For the next ten uninterrupted minutes, you makeout like lovesick teenagers, whimpering and sighing and swallowing every sound the other makes. You’d always pegged him as a romantic. But seeing it, feeling it, adds a whole new dimension to him you hadn’t realized you’d been craving.

By the time the pool of need in your gut has opened up into a blackhole, Sam has caressed or squeezed or kissed every part of you ten times over. He continues to be weird and obsessed with you. (So still in character, then). Sam even pinches the ends of your ears and smooths his thumbs over the bumps of your ankles, being sexy about it but also a little terrifying. He touches you like he’s never gonna see you again.

Around the time that Sam starts suckling marks into your neck and trying to tickle you under your arms, you giggle out, “O-Okay—okay! Enough—!”

“Enough what?” Sam cocks his head. His hand makes another dive for your belly, making you shriek and squirm with more giggles. You try to wriggle away to protect your tickling sides, but Sam’s too strong and you’re a little in love with him, so it’s easy for him to pull you flush against him and blow tingly-warm breaths beside your ear. He purrs, “You need it that badly?”

“Fucking yes! So quit torturing me,” you pant, and you’re pretty sure this grin is going to get stuck on your face.

Sam’s smile gets even bigger. “Only if you say please.”

Your attitude slips from your grip like water. Next time, you’ll play push and pull with him, but right now there needs to be a lot more pushing and pulling in a different context.

The words are out of your mouth in an instant. “Please, Sam.”

As reluctant as he is to stop teasing you, Sam’s a little in love, too. He leans back enough to fist his cock in one hand, and you can’t help how your breath hitches when Sam’s touch follows the curve of your ass to where you’re soaked and sensitive for him. Those thick, maddening fingers spread you open. The velvety tip of his cock finds your hole right away, and your legs nearly give out when Sam starts to swipe himself up and down your folds one dizzying stroke at a time. Back…. and forth. Up… and down. Jesus fucking Christ.

“Okay, fine…” He concedes, his eyes glittering with joy. “You’re just so cute when you act all tough.”

Maybe not all of your attitude is gone. You bark out a laugh, telling him, “I hate you.”

Sam presses down for the last time, then presses in. You don’t mean to look into his eyes when he fills you up, and that’s probably what does you in. Sam’s rosy face flutters and twists with pleasure, but he never stops looking at you, not even once, terrified to miss even a small moment. The long hitching moan that slips out of you makes his whole face darken with desire. You’re pulled onto him deeper and deeper and deeper until—click. Cue the angel choir.

Your fingers dig desperately into his hair. Sam curls into you in one slow pulling movement, a thread pulled taut, until his face is stuffed in your neck and his hands are mindlessly scrabbling down your back.

“God, I love you,” he moans.

Soon your pussy feels achy and hair-trigger-sensitive and beyond full, which could mean that you’re all the way on him. It’s impossible to tell, since the first full minute of having Sam’s dick inside you sends you straight to the moon every time, where everything falls in peaceful slow-motion and the whole world hums with cosmic, sparkling pressure. You shove your face into him and nuzzle in a daze, little ripples of electricity sparking up your spine.

…Wait.

“What?” You register, slow.

Sam is still clutching you for dear life, even if the moment’s slowed and you’re both comfortable. He hugs you full-bodied, nose in your neck, tilted forward, the kind of hug where he sways you side to side with joy. Sam sucks in a harsh breath. Can’t hold back anymore.

“I love you,” he gushes. The words burn out of him, declarative, overjoyed.

There’s so much you want to say to that. But then Sam digs his fingers into your ass and pulls you off his lap, only to gloriously sink you down the rest of the way, and. Fuck fuck fuck. His cock drags thick and hot against the pliant walls of your pussy. You couldn’t be any more full if you tried, clamping down on him with long, silky ripples of pressure that outline the shape of him inside you in obscene detail. It’s the kind of mind-blowing that’s beyond comprehension, beyond feeble human understanding. Your eyes squeeze shut and you whimper into his hair.

“God, I love you,” he chants again through grit teeth. “So much. So fucking much.”

You find his face with your hands and kiss him quiet, tasting the promise in his mouth. When you part and the two of you really start to move, you kiss him again, and again, whispering where only he can hear, “I-I love you too.”

It should scare you how easily the confession slips out. You should be terrified, because even if you live to see next week, or next month, or next year, even if Sam isn’t saying yes to Lucifer, those words are a death sentence. And yet.

“I-I miss you,” you choke out, “I need you.”

“Me too. So much,” Sam soothes, his voice tight and sharp with restraint. You know his instinct is to jackhammer up into you and never stop, but he puts in effort to resist, letting you both marinate in the wonderful, glistening, twitchy feeling of each other. His hands are rubbing your back and he is so fucking warm, turning the rain outside to steam.

He doesn’t bounce you on his dick. It’s more of a slow, cresting drag, waves stroking a beach. You don’t think you could handle much more than that, anyway—sometimes these positions make him feel big enough to pop you like a balloon. What you can’t fit on your own, your weight pushes you down onto anyway, turning your whole body into a big expanding bubble of pressure ready to burst at any moment. You clutch at his shoulders and just throb around him for a second.

“Nuh-uh,” Sam leans away, not letting you shove your face in him like you want. Instead, a big hand cups one side of your neck and keeps you in front of him. “Wanna see your face. Look at me. Look at me,” he insists, genuinely pleading.

When your eyes find his, that’s when he decides to snap up into you for real. You don’t even get a full look at him. The arm slung around your waist drags you up off your wobbling knees, then slams you down into a beautiful, endless white space popping with color.

“Sammy!” You choke.

That’s the magic word. You’re instantly thrust up into four more lightning-fast times, one-two-three-four, and hitch out four squeaky gasps to match. Sam’s eyes bore into yours with every beat, blazing with liquid love. For a second you wonder if you’ve fallen back into your rough routine again. But then words and thoughts melt out of your brain altogether, because Sam draws you into the tenderest, sweetest kiss human beings are capable of, fucking into you deep and smooth with that deeper, smoother voice, “Keep saying that.”

Sammy Sammy Sammy, you rattle out under your breath. Sam hisses out your name the exact same way.

You do your best to help him out a little, bobbing up and down in his lap, but’s a drop of water in the ocean for him. All Sam cares about is seeing your reaction. He soaks up everything you do like a sponge, moaning when you moan, gritting his teeth when you bite your lip, grinding up as you stir down. The weight of his eyes on you is so heavy that your skin stings in its wake. Again, it’s Sam’s brand of freak-sweetness that makes you get stupid notions in your head about wedding rings and anniversary presents. But that’s—

…something he knows about. Something he just said to you five minutes ago. Above the haze of bouncing, rhythmic pleasure, you’re flooded with relief. You can tell him! Holy fuck, you can tell him!

“I love you,” you gasp out again, and just saying it feels like it could save the world. “O-oh, god, Sam—”

The breath you have left is stolen from you by another fierce kiss from him, so passionate it lets you taste the bassy, happy hum that rumbles in Sam’s throat. You’re devoured by feverish kisses for a full minute, then Sam pops off you to sob, “So much—so fucking much, yes.”

He slips a hand between the two of you to thumb your clit, stirring in and never once stopping. Every so often he’ll brush up against where you’re hot and filled to the hilt with him, your bodies sliding together with slick, filthy noises that are so—so fucking much that your thighs cramp up, protesting the constant pistoning. But the pleasure is easily worth the burn. Your core booms with long echoes of pleasure that shudder through the trembling spiderwebs that make up your nerves. You make a move to lean back on your hands and switch up the angle, (since you’re a damn good cowgirl, thank you very much), but Sam refuses to stop kissing you. He physically pulls you back in with a hand fished around your neck and kisses you breathless, determined to pound you to your climax one thorough snap of his hips at a time.

“So beautiful,” Sam gushes. His voice is hoarse and thready, like he’s moments away from bursting into tears of pure desire.

You smooth your hands down his flushed cheeks, telling him between huffy moans, “It’s okay, s’ okay, Sammy… so pretty… love you so much…”

You feel him pull the Stanford sweater up over your ass and out of his way, exposing more, more, more of your bare skin for him to touch. Sam palms the slope of your back and your belly in a daze, but that’s still not enough—he’ll never be satisfied with how little of you he’s had. He wants more. He wants forever. You embrace each other to the fullest, cheeks smushed together, chests flush, his parted lips claiming your throat, making you his—but. Sam’s breath ratchets up. Not enough not enough not enough—

In one ragged motion, Sam rolls you both over, tossing you back-first onto the bedding and smothering you with his weight.

A squeal of delight jumps out of you. “Hey!”

If Sam wasn’t all over you before, then he literally is now, dropping onto his elbows so he can cup your face in both hands and surround you completely. “Sorry,” he croaks, “need you. Need to fill you up.”

You whisper against his lips, “Then fill me up already.”

His thumbs press into your cheeks a little. Sam’s breath fans across your face, throttled by the lump in his throat.

“Tell me you love me again.”

Um. You don’t exactly have the sexy heat of the moment to hide behind this time, but you still want to say it for him. His eyes swim with something unreadable. Desire and love, enough love to put a lump in your throat too, but a third thing also. It worries you.

You bring your hands up to stroke his wrists, and give a bit too much of your soul to him when you promise, “...I love you, Sam.”

The words hit him like a bullet. Sam shudders from head to toe, unable to reign himself in any longer, and plants a long, surging kiss on your mouth that makes your belly flash with nuclear levels of lust. He squirms his hands underneath your body so he can cradle you against him—genuinely cradling, one palm cupping the back of your neck—and then burrows into you face-first, groaning your name as his cock nestles itself as deep as it can go.

With all of his weight on top of you, you couldn’t move if you wanted to. You caress and kiss and dig your nails into him, and somewhere along the way you’re given a dose of whatever has made him fucking insane for you right now. It fogs your head and turns your reason to ash, so when Sam returns to ruining you for any other man, you whimper, “Please don’t leave me.”

“Oh, baby,” Sam hiccups out, and something strange hangs in his voice.

You would ask him what’s wrong, but the shuddering, flimsy scraps left of your brain are busy being blasted all over by white-hot pleasure. Everything scorches. Sam’s bare skin and his breath and his hands feel fucking molten, melting you down like hot glass. You’re pinned down in every possible way, and it pushes the sinking, gorgeous pressure inside you all over your body, like it’s not just Sam’s cock filling you up, but him, just him, the source of all good in the world. Holy fucking fuck. His hips glide back and then thud back into you again and again and again. You get why it’s called making love, now. You can taste your love for him in the back of your throat, feel it sitting in a sticky film on your skin. It hangs like humidity in the air of your apartment. And jesus christ, it bleeds from Sam, glowing off him like fucking radiation.

When you’re shamelessly wailing gut-deep in ecstasy, Sam peels himself off you. He forces himself to sit up. His chest putters up and down with desperate little breaths, and a gloriously big hand scoops under your thigh and welds it against your chest. Whatever he sees from this new angle—probably your wet, abused pussy stretched tight around the full base of his cock—makes Sam gape, utterly transfixed. You watch as his mouth falls open, and then those dark, soul-swallowing eyes crawl up your body to meet yours.

“Keep lookin’ at me,” Sam rasps.

Even if he doesn’t sway your opinion with a few dizzying, stomach-deep drags of his cock, (which he does), you’re convinced. You lock eyes with him—and then suddenly feel stupid for not watching him the whole time. A long curl of hair hangs in his eyes and sways as he fucks into you. His expression flutters with these sinful little giveaways, exposing just how starved he is for you, how in love. Maybe if you’d looked back sometime in the past five years, that’s what you would’ve seen: how much this has always meant to him. He searches your face for the same pleasure, obsessed with his effect on you. 

“Fuck,” you shudder out. “C-could cum just watchin’ you, Sammy.”

“That’s right,” he hisses, and you’ve never heard him sound so damn happy. “Cum for me. Please. Look so pretty when you do.”

Usually, when he makes you cum, it’s the roughest part of the whole act. He’d get both your wrists pretzeled behind your back and pinned viciously in one of his hands, and that’s when you’d know the big finish was coming. His pace would go from bouncing to bruising. But this Sam, your Sam, would stop time if he could, so he slows down even further, winding you closer and closer to the top of the mountain with little figure-eights of his hips. He gazes down at you the same way you’re sure you must gaze up at him. Beautiful, he murmurs under his breath.

You utter another, tight, almost-sob of, “love you so much, Sammy,” and his dick twitches wildly shoved in you to the hilt.

“Ohh—shit,” he chokes out, and his other hand snaps desperately towards yours on the bed. They find each other easily, and you squeeze his hand with everything you’ve got, infusing in him all the love he’s infused in you.

The slow, mounting tsunami of perfection you’ve been moving towards finally overcomes you, and in one long gorgeous slippery rush you cum for Sam. And because your life is a movie—he cums for you too. He rocks faster and falls forward to kiss you, your faces pressed together, your mouths slotting against each other, your pussy squeezing down on him in golden rippling strokes. Sam hisses your name out between his teeth as he cums. You’re lanced straight through by a whole fucking universe of fluttering, flickering pleasure. To be honest, you’re a little pissed about it—because it’s the best fucking orgasm you’ve had in your entire life, and it’s all because Sam raggedly chants those words to you again and again, laying sloppy, obsessive, head-over-heel kisses all over your face. Love you love you so much baby you feel so good squeezin’ down on me.

You could’ve had this ages ago. How much more time could you have had with him, if you had just stopped being stupid?

Sam’s crazed, sobbing, hitching I love yous somehow become, in true Sam fashion, a low spiral of thank yous. He lays there and clutches you until there’s a Sam-shaped imprint in your body. You’re pretty sure he would stay inside you all night if he could, but you coax him into some cuddling instead, since you both are in desperate need. It’s. It’s new, but it feels cleansing in the holy way.

What feels like hours later, your brain dimly connects to the rest of your body. You’re halfway through detangling Sam’s hair with your fingers as he hides face-first in your chest, pretending he’s not embarrassed that he cried. At least, that’s what you assume. The Winchester mind is a mysterious one, and as much as you would hope to know what Sam’s thinking, the slow hand drawing circles on your hip tells you nothing. Is he shy that he got emotional? That seems silly, since you both sobbed into each other earlier. Is he embarrassed about everything he confessed? Does he regret it?

Just when your train of thought really starts to take the curves of your spiral hard, Sam tiredly croaks into your neck, “I meant what I said, y’know.”

He draws in a lungful of your perfume through his nose, soaking up as much of you as he can possibly get. His hands smooth over your body, innocent and loving, caressing you, memorizing you, begging silently for forgiveness. 

Sam is a dead-silent crier. But you hear him sniffle as he gushes, “God, I love you.”

Maybe if you hadn’t been so tired, you would’ve picked up on it. Or maybe you’d heard it in his voice, seen it, something, and ignored it, hoping it was something else. Everything he felt, he put into a teeny, unmarked box that he’d bury god knows where, far from where anybody could be hurt by it. Sam didn’t—he wouldn’t say that to you. Not unless it was the last time he ever could. He would feel it, but it’d go right into that box where it couldn’t hurt you. You should’ve known.

Lie to me, you’d begged him. 

…And Sam had.

_

The dull realization that you are awake sets in around noon. Noon as in after-noon, well past when you’re normally up and at em’. When you wonder why the hell you slept in so late, you remember last night’s rain, thrashing against the windows all night, and Sam, his face haloed by lamplight and bleeding with quiet resolution.

Sam. Alive, and not going to say yes.

He’d been the one to keep you up all night. With his mouth and his hands, yes, but then afterward he’d been hellbent on talking. Just… talking. You’d been sluggish and cozy and sated after having sex, but no matter how close you came to falling asleep, Sam wouldn’t let it happen. For two straight hours he asked you every question he could come up with to keep you up with him.

Do you remember when we met? Cause’ I do. Do you remember what I said to you? Do you remember what you thought about me? I remember thinking how similar we were, y’know, how much we’d get along. You were so pretty… my whole face went red every time you looked at me. Do you remember…?

Being cuddled, kissed, and protected by the man you love really tempts a girl to doze off, too, so this was not an easy battle. But Sam persisted. He studied your face intently, uttering I love yous even when sleep started to pull you under. Hearing any Winchester drop those words on you still blew your fucking mind, to be honest. Sam especially. But it was romantic as it was worrying, so you’d shut him up with a kiss goodnight and echoed it back to him. Love you, Sammy. It was probably just an anxiety thing, you assumed—Sam, for some fucking reason, was a pretty insecure guy, so you imagined that was his way of making sure you wanted all of this. He seemed… scared. He wasn’t used to being wanted.

The apocalypse was still on. Maybe the world would end tomorrow, or maybe you’d get lucky and live a whole lifetime with Sam. Regardless, he’s never saying yes to Lucifer, and that alone means that there’s still hope for the future. You’re going to spend every second of it making Sam feel wanted.

Sitting up in bed, you scrubbed at your sleepy face with the heel of your hand and stared around the room. Sam was physically incapable of staying asleep after five in the morning, so the familiar evidence of his military-efficient morning routine was all over the place. You smiled to yourself. He’d picked up after the two of you, and had tucked another blanket over you in your sleep. Stupid chivalrous dumbass.

To think, you’d been terrified you’d never see him again just last night.

You push out of bed, only to almost buckle onto the carpet rag-doll style. Even being torturously gentle, that man manages to make you sore. With a very, very happy groan, you hop (and wince) into some clean underwear, then traipse out into your kitchen to show that dork who’s boss.

“Dammit, Samuel, you’re not my maid—” you start to say, but of course, this is Sam, who wouldn’t miss a morning run for anything. Right. That explains your empty kitchen.

…But it’s afternoon. Sam would be back by now. Your gut prickles with a bad feeling, and you superstitiously sweep your apartment, looking for him. His clothes from last night are still sitting in your hamper, his shirt folded neatly in your dresser and his watch on your nightstand. A spike of nausea rolls through you seeing that his jacket is gone—and his boots. But his duffle—it’s. It’s still on your kitchen table. It looks a little smaller than usual, but his books and his laptop are still inside. He probably just ran out to run some silly errand for you, determined to make up for worrying you so much. Yeah.

You force your hunter’s paranoia down to a simmer, padding over to your breakfast table. There’s a big ol’ note smack dab in the center of it, perched on his half-open duffle bag, and you start to play with one of the bracelets Sam left behind as you pick it up.

You cross your fingers, smiling ear-to-ear. “C’mon. All bets on breakfast. Please be getting me breakfast, please be getting me breakfast—”

…That’s not what the note says.

You read it.

Then you read it again, and the hammer falls, crushing the breath out of you and doubling you over the kitchen table. You read the note for the third time, needing to be sure, and the thin sliver of hope you had—maybe you’d just read it wrong, m-maybe he was fine—turns to ash. He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t.

You’re fighting back a surge of ugly, choking tears in an instant. He’s… Sam… he…

Your whole apartment lingers with the heat and goodness of him, like he’d been here just minutes ago. Just seconds. Even your clothes still smell like Sam. Just inhaling it tears chunks out of your reason, like—like you’d just missed him. Clawing around for something to do, you pace in a daze between your bedroom and the front door, desperate to recreate the moment you realized he was gone. You’re still just in the Stanford sweater and your underwear, but you don’t give a single shit and go careening out into the hall, stalking up and down your floor for him—because, b-because Sam wouldn’t, he wouldn’t do that to you—he would tell you first, he would never leave you in the dark like this—

…But you know Sam. And if it meant fixing his mistakes, saving you, saving everyone… Then he’d say yes in a heartbeat.

“These belong to you. You deserve a world to live in. I’m sorry - Sam.”

- tags: @samssluttybangs @cookiemumster1@lacilou@cevans-winchester @leigh70@ seraphimluxe @emily-roberts @emme-looou @aloneatpeace @williamstop @ornella0910 @chaoticshepardplaid @dakota-dream @lcvecstiel @goghkiss @spnexploration @stoneyggirl2 @urm0mmmbbg @mulattomoon @poeticsorcery @deansapplepie @rennydenny @babydollfoster @badlandsbrunette @hallecarey1

[bagopucks]

J. Hughes - And The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Date

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Jack Hughes x Fem!reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warning(s): Sad!Jack :(

Something small for my comeback story <3

Thank you all SO much for the love!!! Send in some requests and I’ll keep the stories coming!

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“It’s gonna be the best date you’ve ever been on!”

What a horrible promise.

First, he was late. Something about media day extending longer than he had planned. Not his fault, but it did peeve me slightly. I hated when Jack’s work kept him from our plans unexpectedly.

Then our reservations were cancelled because we were both late, but have no fear! Jack had a backup plan.

A backup plan that went south the second he realized how hard it was to schedule a good reservation on Valentine’s Day.

So we decided to get ice cream.

Then it ended up on my dress. All because Jack’s hands simply moved too much when he talked.

I missed the guilty look in his eyes when we were both frantically trying to wipe the stain out of the fabric of my skirt. I knew how hard Jack could be on himself, but he was so good at hiding it, that I sometimes forgot to check on him.

When we left the ice cream shop, it started pouring.

Jack and I didn’t have umbrellas. He offered me his suit jacket to wear as we walked to the nearest bus stop. Only to find out that the bus wouldn’t be around for another hour. So we decided to trek home.

And just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse. I was starving and drenched and down a dress. The misfortunes didn’t end.

Jack didn’t set a timer on the oven for the pizza he put in. We only noticed when we started smelling the burnt crust.

Jack looked so tense that I hadn’t even bothered following him into the kitchen. I walked down the hall to find a change of clothes, and answer a call from my friend. I put her on speaker while I took light steps.

“Hey! Happy Galentines day! I wish you could have been there tonight.”

“I know.. me too.” I smiled sadly at the thought. It was my first Valentine’s Day that I hadn’t spent with the girls. “I miss you guys so much.” I stepped into the bedroom and pushed the door shut to a crack.

“We miss you too! But I mean- I just have to know what all you got into today!”

“Oh god, honey. If only you knew.” I giggled, pulling the wet dress off and tossing it into the hamper by the bed.

“I have all the time in the world. Did you get some wake up sex? Breakfast in bed? Did he spend the whole day cuddling you and giving you all kinds of gifts?”

“Nope.” I popped the ‘p.’ Truly I didn’t mind. Jack kissed me and wished me a happy Valentine’s Day before he left for work that morning. That was good enough for me. But now I wished at least something other than our morning had gone decently.

“Please tell me you’re joking.”

“We had plans. But his stupid media day kept him late. And then we missed our date. Then I got ice cream on my dress and it poured on the walk home. And I’m starving and Jack just burned the damn pizza.” I let out a defeated sigh as I dropped onto the bed, setting my phone beside myself as I tucked my hands between my back and the mattress to unclip my bra. “This is what I get for leaving you girls.” It was meant to be a joke, but I couldn’t muster a laugh at it.

“Wow. Talk about Jack Hughes and the terrible horrible no good very bad date.”

“Exactly.” I shook my head. “Just one decent night out was all I wanted. We barely get time together any more.” I tried to keep my voice down. I wasn’t bad talking Jack in any way. I simply missed him, and the universe did everything in its power to ruin our evening.

“You guys still have the whole night.”

“A whole night where everything else could go wrong.” I stood up and crossed the floor to find a change of clothes in my dresser. “I’d rather just go to bed and forget this horrible day exists.”

“Oh come on now. Chin up. Jack still might have a couple tricks up his sleeve.” I wanted to believe that, but I knew he didn’t, because if he did, we wouldn’t have been home already. This was plan Z, and evidently, plan Z just crashed and burned like our pizza.

“Maybe.” I relented. I didn’t have the energy to argue. I pulled on an old cropped t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants.

“I’ll tell you about my day another time.”

“No, no.” I walked back toward the bed. “I wanna hear about it.”

“It’s okay, really. You and Jack should try and spend whatever time you can together. Especially after today. I promise I’ll save my stories for tomorrow.” I heard her quiet laugh over the other end of the line.

“Are you sure?”

“Just promise you’ll call me.” I sat on the bed as she spoke, letting out a sigh.

“I promise.”

“I love you, girlie!”

“I love you too.” There was a moment of silence before the line went dead. I let out a sigh and shook my head. I turned my attention to my sweats, one of my feet stuck and refusing to go through the hole in the leg. I groaned, and gave one last forceful shove before I managed to get my foot through.

What kind of sick joke was the universe playing?

“Fuck Valentine’s Day.” I mumbled, walking into the bathroom. “Such a shitty day anyway.” I turned the sink on and waited for the water to heat up, drowning out the sheepish voice of my lover in the hall calling my name. I didn’t hear him until he was halfway through the bedroom, and standing in the doorway of the bathroom.

I grabbed a towel from the cabinet.

“What’s up, Jack?” I asked, barely sparing him a glance as I held the cloth under the tap.

“Can we talk?” I heard him sniffle, and the second I looked up, I was greeted with a heart wrenching sight. I immediately turned the sink off and set the cloth down.

“What’s wrong?” I cooed, stepping forward to wrap my arms around him. In all my days, I hadn’t seen Jack cry very much.

“I ruined Valentine’s Day.” His quiet and broken voice was such a contrast from how loud and excitable he usually was.

“No you didn’t,” I reassured him, but I could already hear the quiet cries escaping his lips. “Jack.” I tried to get his attention.

“I’m sorry.” The middle Hughes had always felt like he needed to compete for his parents attention. Through no fault of Jim or Ellen, Jack had simply never felt like enough. He always idolized Quinn, and the problem with that had been that nobody can ever see themselves measuring up to their idols. He always fought for his parents love even when there was no reason to fight. And he’d isolate himself and berate himself when he’d ever done something wrong or bad. I knew he felt worthless for how badly the day had gone.

“Jack, honey, it’s okay.”

“I know you just wanted to be home.. and I’m so sorry I messed everything up.” He tried to pull away, always insistent on distancing himself when he didn’t feel like he deserved a hand to hold. But I pulled him back in with a gentle force.

“Jack it’s one day.” I reached up to hold the back of his head. “And I never said I wanted to go home. I just wanted to be with you.”

“It’s an important day. And the girls never messed it up.” His back rose and fell with sporadic breaths. There it was. That competition. Something he felt he had to measure up to.

I sighed out a breathy laugh. “Oh baby,” I slowly pulled away, reaching for his hands as I pulled him into the bathroom. I closed the toilet lid and motioned for Jack to sit on it, which he did.

“Do you know how many years have been chaos at galentines?” I asked. He shook his head. I stepped back toward the sink and grabbed the wet cloth, wiping gently at the makeup on my eyes.

“The first year, we only had a veggie tray because everybody was too broke to actually cook anything and we were all still in college.” I glanced at Jack in the mirror. “Our second year, we didn’t even plan a consistent time, so everybody just showed up whenever, and it was in the common room during March Madness.” I finished removing my makeup and tossed the cloth aside. I grabbed a paper towel and turned to Jack, leaning forward to wipe the tears from his cheeks. He sniffled once again.

“Year three and four didn’t happen because we got too busy with our lives. Year five was held in my first apartment. We ended up clogging the sink and having to learn how to fix pipes in the same night.” I lowered myself into his lap. “Year six we were going to go to the beach. Surprise surprise, Kathy forgot the plane tickets.” Jack seemed a bit reassured about that one. At least he hadn’t ruined a vacation.

“Nothing is perfect Jack.” I ran my hands through his wavy hair.

“It should have been.”

“Yeah, but it’s not. Things go south sometimes. It took the girls and I years to coordinate the perfect Galentines Day. We’ll get there too.” I tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear.

“So we’re okay? You’re not mad?”

I shook my head. “Baby, I would never freak out over something as small as this.” I pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I might not let you plan the next date, but I’m not angry.” I finally brought a giggle from his lips. “You went through so much trouble today to make me happy. Even if nothing went well I appreciated it. Thank you so much, Jack.”

✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾

[sadesluvr]

Ōrālis 

Dr Jonathan Crane was a man of great restraint, but he wouldn’t hold himself back from indulging in your self-gratification. 

A/N: I’ve been secretly obsessed with Crane for a while, and just had to make something based off this post! Vaguely dark content (it’s Crane) so please read the tags before proceeding. Minors + ageless blogs DNI!

Word count: 3.1K

Tags: SMUT / DUB-CON / Manipulation / Power play / Misogyny / Abuse of power / Dom + Sub elements / Masturbation (fem + afab anatomy) / Scientific terminology / Dialogue heavy / Crane being weird and unsettling (canon) / Reader is wearing a skirt for logistic purposes

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. 

You never knew why you even bothered to show up to your sessions early anymore.  

Before your previous therapist, Dr Spencer, had retired, you’d used the time to gather your thoughts, perhaps flick through the contents of the random assortment of magazines on the waiting room table, but never to actively contemplate dropping the process entirely whilst staring at a clock, wishing you were anywhere else. Wringing your hands, you shifted uncomfortably on the bench as you tried to suppress the painfully familiar feeling of bile rising to your throat. It was all Dr Crane’s - the Dr Jonathan Crane famed for his work at Arkham – fault, being an uptight, anti-social excuse of a psychiatrist, who, technically, shouldn’t have been treating you regardless. His mutual discontent for the matter was all too obvious, his blunt and borderline disinterested demeanour making you feel that your every thought, choice and emotion was a mistake. 

You’d had a painfully exhausting week, from closing deadlines at your job to your cousins’ wedding plans leaving you feeling like you were on the brink of a breakdown. To make things worse, your bus had broken down on the way in, forcing you to walk four blocks of grimy Gotham streets in the rain. 

Once the door opened – right on the hour at 5PM as usual – you felt like you wanted to die. 

“Might I remind you that this is your time,” his smooth, yet commanding voice said. “If you’d like to waste it, then be my guest.” 

You huffed and shifted in your seat, making small circles with your foot as you held back a frown. If it wasn’t his personality that made things uncomfortable, then it certainly was the fact that he was handsome; rather painfully so for someone in his position. He had dark hair, plump pink lips and a chiselled jaw, all of which were spectacular together but couldn’t compare to his eyes; striking, intense and a sharp blue. His eyes, whilst his best feature, was certainly one of the pitfalls of being in an enclosed room with him. They were always watching; staring into your soul and taking you apart, piece by piece, limb by limb. 

Sighing, you pinched the bridge of your nose before pointing your hand at him in a vaguely accusatory manner. 

“Look, Doctor, I’ve had a long week. Can you spare being snarky for at least a minute?” 

“Interesting that you characterise my frankness as ‘snarky’, Miss L/N,” he said, unmoved by your tone. “It seems like you’re not used to people being direct with you.” 

“I have been, remember? You’ve been treating me for two months now.” You replied sarcastically. 

“Yes, and I haven’t seen much progress,” he said flippantly, pausing to flick through a notebook before looking back up at you. “I suppose I’m now inclined to ask how you are.” 

“I’m amazing,” you said pointedly. “Luck is on my side. I walked here because the bus broke down. Not to mention the fact that I’m four days out from my deadline at work, and I’m probably going to be sick for all of them because of the weather. And my cousin’s wedding is in a month and we still haven’t gotten invitations out, so God knows —“ 

Crane made a small humming sound that stopped your rambling, a small smirk on his face as he did. 

“Did I say something?” You frowned. This man was so self-assured that he found menial, everyday things like this amusing. He probably pitied you.  

“It’s clear to me that you’re doing a lot for other people,” he said. “Work is completely understandable, but preparing a wedding is not. You’re not under any obligation to do this.” 

You blinked, brows furrowing in confusion as you tried to make sense of what he’d said. His lips were folded into a straight line as he watched you unscramble your thoughts, his oh-so powerful gaze making you feel as if you were a blathering idiot. 

“She’s part of my family,” you said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Family help each-other…” 

He angled his head in a small nod. “From my understanding, yes; with aspects such as parenting and homemaking.” 

“Marriage is a kind of homemaking. It’s very common for families across cultures to be involved in matrimony.” You shrugged. 

“Then, what do you suggest you do?” Dr Crane said matter of factly. “Slave over fickle things like necklines and bouquets? What do you gain from torturing yourself in this process?” 

“It’s not about me, it’s about my cousin. She deserves to be happy.” You said through gritted teeth, now inexplicably becoming heated. It was clear that he wasn’t one who had many friends – if any – and a relationship with relatives seemed out of the question.  

“That statement is almost entirely untrue,” Crane said bluntly, brow raised as he cocked his head in a knowing manner. “We as humans are made to be self-serving. I’m not denying that one such as your relative does not deserve to be happy, more that you want something from making her that way.” 

You scoffed. “Are you asking me or telling me?” 

He didn’t answer, but merely swallowed, breaking his gaze with you to look around the room cooly before focusing back on you.  

“I say this because it’s not uncommon for women to experience envy in these positions. Some have the fickle idea that their assistance in the process will bring themselves further along to matrimony,” he stated. “Thus, your apparent stress on the matter paired with your reaction to my previous statement about familial obligation gives me reason to think that you’re particularly jealous of this cousin.” 

You scoffed. 

“That is not true.” 

Crane hummed and adjusted his posture. 

“Is there a significant other in your life?” 

“No…” you replied, your voice practically a mumble at the statement. You were almost a hundred percent sure that he’d known that, given he had Dr Spencer’s files in-front of him. Like most things with him, it was just another way to make you feel small. 

Again, he didn’t follow up the statement but instead moved on. 

“I could go on about how jealousy is a one of the many products of fear, but I’m rather interested about this love life of yours,” he said, placing the notebook on the table below him. “A relationship is one thing, but nowadays there are other options to companionship.” 

You swallowed. 

“I don’t do hookups, nor friends with benefits. They’re too complicated.” 

“I see,” he said. “I wouldn’t write them off too quickly. They can be a fix to what you’re currently experiencing.” 

You raised your brows and shook your head at the implication. Not only was Crane making you feel borderline histrionic for simply having a stressful week but suggesting that you were just succumbing to your base desires was even more insulting. Insulting because on some deep level, you knew it was true. 

Perhaps you just needed a good, old-fashioned fuck for that sweet boost of dopamine and mental clarity.  Truthfully, you couldn’t remember how long it’d been since you’d had sex, let alone been in a relationship, to the point that if undoing your virginity was possible you would’ve been Mother Mary herself. 

“Do you partake in masturbation?” 

“I don’t think you’re allowed to ask me that.” 

“Once again, Miss L/N, that’s untrue,” he said, exhaling as he took off his glasses and folded them into his pocket. “I’m a doctor, and my duty is to help you. Certain ways of masturbation can affect the mind, and I presume that’s one of the sole reasons you came to a therapist. The act releases dopamine, which is certainly good for the brain, not to mention it encourages blood flow to your pelvis,” he said precisely. “Therefore, I ask again. Do you partake in masturbation?” 

He cocked his brow this time; piercing blue eyes fixated on your own. You couldn’t tell if he was getting off on your discomfort, the vision of you touching yourself, or a weird mix of somewhere in-between. For a small man, he had a tremendous way of making you feel alone, as if you were the world, yet so seen. You fiddled with your hands, avoiding his gaze as you answered to the ground, wooden flooring suddenly becoming interesting. 

“I do... I-It’s just been a while...” 

“I’d appreciate it if you answered to me rather than at the floor,” Crane replied before swiftly moving on. “I think we should use the remaining time to work on that.” 

Your heart dropped at the statement, and you finally broke your gaze with the floor to stare at him. 

“H-How —“ 

“Start by making yourself comfortable,” he began. “And place your legs up onto the table as you spread them.” 

You felt ill, yet there was a painful curiosity in your loins that made you want to follow his every command. It was clear that he wanted to present yourself to him, virtually in a platter, and as much as it made you sick that this was a man you despised, you needed this.  “Doctor, I don’t think this is necessary —“ 

“We’ve got forty minutes,” he interjected. “I suggest you make this quick.” 

It’ll make you better, you thought to yourself as you placed your feet onto the table, leaning back as you allowed yourself to relax into the couch. The hem of your skirt rode up as you did, giving him an eyeful of your thighs and up towards your pelvis. Once done, you stared at him expectedly, and he hummed (one that judging by his frown of his lips were of displeasure) getting up from his seat and adjusting you himself. Nothing was ever good enough, something always needed to be fixed. Typical Crane fashion 

His hands were cold on your skin as he spread your legs apart, adjusting your footwork so that he’d be able to see more of you. You shuddered as his fingertips momentarily lingered on your inner thigh, and you suddenly became self conscious of your clamminess derived from the sudden condensation of entering the building. 

“Interesting,” he spoke, cocking a brow as he wrote something down. “You’re clammy to the touch and your legs are trembling. Is there something you fear?” 

You didn’t answer. You couldn’t answer. 

“Perhaps this will clear your head,,” he said softly, undeniably amused. “I’m going to guide you through your fears…Remove your underwear.” 

His voice was noticeably more breathy and ragged than previously, and you took a quick glance down at his crotch, which, if you weren’t to be mistaken, was slightly raised, his usually smoothly ironed clothes now somewhat crumpled. Hesitantly, you shifted your hips up to slide your panties down your legs, quickly unnerved at the fact that you didn’t know what to do with them.  

“Put them on the side,” Crane instructed. “Inhale, and place your hand between your thighs. As you exhale, I want you to place your fingers at the top, on your hood.”  

Your chin wobbled nervously as you did so, eyes locked on Jonathan’s own. He swallowed, and you could’ve sworn that you saw his lip tremble in the process. You didn’t know to be scared or proud that he was seemingly anxious about it all. 

“Now begin to stimulate the area as you would if you were alone.” 

You nodded, using two fingers to rub small circles on your hood. Sometimes, when you’d tried in the past, it’d been apparent that there simply wasn’t enough lubrication.  

Today that wasn’t the case. 

The action gave you a tingle, but it wasn’t enough to make you feel better. Jonathan seemed to sense this. 

“Use pressure. It’ll make you feel better.” 

It did. The force of your middle finger down on your sensitive clit hood sent a pulse down you legs, building to a steady rhythm as you resumed your motions. You let out a broken sigh and bit your lip, your restraint a great disappointment to the man across from you. 

“Why must you insist on running from your own pleasure? I want to hear you, and I’d appreciate it if I didn’t have to ask twice.” 

Craning your neck, you willed yourself to let out a moan, finding that it was far easier than you’d expected. It was just one of the many things you let build up in your head. 

“Good.” Crane hummed, and you could’ve sworn that he had unzipped his pants, relieving some pressure from his swollen bulge. “Now, move down to spread your labia apart. Allow yourself to indulge in your deepest fantasies, and use more fingers. I want you to explore yourself for me.” 

Letting out a whimper, your eyes fluttered shut as you found yourself lost in the smooth timbre of his voice; sensuous, pointed, with a deep rumble. It pained you that this man – this antagonist – was the individual within your fantasies, much more the fact that he knew it. How long had he been waiting to do this? 

There was a slight pain upon entering yourself; your walls moulding to accost themselves to the unfamiliar intrusion as you pumped your hands in and out of you. Your slow but methodic movements brought you a great sense of pleasure as you spread your arousal across your fingers, stimulating your hot sex.  

Jonathan let out a slow hum as he watched your chest rise and fall, succumbing to his basic urges as he mindlessly rubbed his hand over his cock. He wasn’t going to give you the satisfaction of taking it out; let alone masturbate in-front of you. No, that would come much later. 

“Take your fingers deeper,” he instructed, subtly biting the inside of his lip. “I know it worries you. Too often we fear the unknown, but if you want to feel better, you’ll do it for me.” 

You did, burying your fingers into yourself to the point that your first phalanges disappeared within you as you motioned your fingers in a controlled movement. Finding yourself growing a quiet confidence from Crane’s amused smirk, you began to fasten your pace, pistoning your fingers like a machine. 

The wet sounds of your sex filled the room, the shine of your fingers undeniable as you spread yourself apart, baring your pussy just for him. This is what he wanted. 

This was what you wanted. 

Right? 

Right. 

“Very good,” the man crooned. “It feels good, doesn’t it? If this was all it took for you to be obedient, I suppose I would’ve introduced masturbation to our sessions a while ago.”   

The differences were stark; all your spite from the beginning of the session had dissipated, and you were like putty in his hands. He’d integrated your mind like a parasite, a snake, and had carried out his word – he was making you better. 

“Y-Yeah..” you whispered, mind blank as you found it difficult to keep your legs up. Crane was stimulating himself through his trousers, small breaths from his chest ragged as he spoke. 

“Good girl,” he sighed. “Is my voice turning you on? Would you like me to bring you to release?” 

You nodded, an uncharacteristic squeal escaping your lips as you brushed past your clit. Jonathan sighed again, his lips pursed as he fought the urge to do it all for you, just for a feel of your wetness and tight walls. Alas, unlike other men, he knew how to exercise control. 

“Taste yourself.” he commanded without an ounce of hesitation. You winced, hands trembling as you removed them from inside of you and bringing them to your lips. Cautiously, you took a small lick of your juice, squeezing your eyes shut as you tasted yourself on your tongue. You’d never done that before. 

“Now touch yourself again, only faster. Keep your legs up, I want to see you. All of you. In this room, in this moment, you belong to me.” 

You wanted him to fucking consume you. Frantically, you switched between stimulating all of your zones, from your lips to your clit, a pornographic squelching sound coming from your nether regions. Crane bit down on the inside of his cheek, his nostrils flared as he palmed his cock, feeling spurts of pre-cum coat his pelvis. 

He let out a restraint grunt, and for some reason it made your loins tingle, sending a pulsing heat to your core. Given the way your head spun, and your vision became jagged, you could tell that you were close, which Crane took great joy in. 

“Perfect…” he hummed. “Look at me when you cum. Can you feel yourself lose control? This is what you needed, wasn’t it, you silly whore? Give yourself to me. All of it…” 

Had you been in a clear state of mind, you would’ve taken that as a threat, but in your bout of ecstasy it was hard to not be intoxicated by the idea. His voice was so soothing, so controlled and yet menacing that you felt like you’d sold your soul to the devil himself. Perhaps in a way, you had. 

Your legs were overcome by the force of your orgasm, quivering as you found it difficult to stay still. Squeezing your legs shut, you came around your fingers with a cry, your fluids spurting around your fingers and trickling onto your thigh and seeping down your legs.  

It felt impossible to come down from your own palpitations, and Crane’s stare was far from useful in relieving your anxieties. The man had barely moved, but he looked somewhat flummoxed, his hair slightly curly and tousled from sweat, whilst his pink lips looked raw, as if he’d been gnawing on them. 

Had he cum? Had he enjoyed this at all? Oh God, you were wondering if your therapist had cum from your private masturbation. 

The reality of what you’d done was coming back to you now, and you truly didn’t know what to think. You wanted to stay; to be petted and showered with praise for your show, and yet run and hide completely. You’d only known him for two months. 

And. He. Was. Your. Therapist.  

And so, you found yourself glancing back up at the time again.  

“That was…quite something,” Crane said slowly, clearing his throat as he nonchalantly polished off his glasses before putting them on. “I assume you’re feeling better now. I think I’d like to integrate this into our future sessions, starting with next week,” 

There was his usual detached tone. You thought orgasms brought mental clarity, but Jonathan was an enigma. 

“- It might be useful for you to wear a skirt, something accessible...I happen to like the colour you’ve got on now.” 

[talewrites]

Fragile Part 6

😈😈😈

(This chapter got too long- I had to cut it short,,,, :]]] Enjoy!)

Generation: Bayverse TMNT

Tmnt x Reader Fanfic

Pronouns: Gender Neutral (except ‘dudette’, 'miss', and ‘princess’)

Warnings: injury, blood, electrocution, graphic depictions of torture, not proof read

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Today you were spending time with Donnie while he worked in front of his monitors. You liked it there much better than in his lab. He had a map of the city up with little marks indicating spots where the Foot had been spotted. But that wasn’t what he was working on right now.

No, you and Donnie were doing much more important things at the moment.

Like playing the new update in Stardew Valley.

“Fishing mods are cheating.” 

You gawked at him in mock offense. “But you can’t pause in a multiplayer farm, there’s no time to play the fishing mini game!!”

“That’s why it’s more of a challenge!” He stuck his tongue out while he clicked his mouse rapidly to fight off a slime in the mines.

You pouted, adjusting the laptop in your lap. “I don’t need my cozy farming sim to be challenging…” 

Donnie did not miss the cute grin that graced your face after, his heart fluttering in his chest. 

These past few days you found yourself smiling more and more easily. Whether it was Mikey getting covered in flour while you baked cookies together, or Raph teaching you how to purl stitch, or Leo showing you how to wield a sword. You were enjoying spending more personal time with the turtles as you got to know them better.

Your toes curled where you were perched in the chair beside Donnie, glancing up at the map again. Your eyes always drawn to the blinking red dot marking the location of the lab you escaped only weeks before. The police had raided it and found it empty, which only increased your unease as to where Dr Stockman might be hiding. It already felt like a lifetime ago, that night when the turtles first found you. 

You owed them your life.

“Hey (y/n), you almost ready for afternoon training?” Leo came over, snapping you out of your thoughts. Leo leaned against the back on Donnie’s chair, earning a dismissive swat from his younger brother.

“We’ll stop after we finish up this day, Leo.” Donnie said not even taking his eyes off the screen. You giggled and got back to fishing on the beach.

You were two hours into your training session with Leo. 

“Okay, good. Now when you kick, focus on your balance. Stay firmly planted and your leg should have more power.” Leo coached you. 

Master Splinter was supervising while sipping his tea. It had barely been 5 days since your mutant abilities had manifested. But you were already making astounding progress in unlocking its potential. Leonardo had played a big part in the process, being the one who had helped you work through your fears of using your mutant reflexes, so the abilities came more easily to you when training. He trained with you every day, while Master Splinter provided guidance. Everyone was doing their best to support you through all the changes.

Casey suddenly jogged in through the entrance of the lair. 

“Guys! Just got word, the Foot are planning to rob a warehouse full of high tech weapons tonight. We gotta go intercept it.” He said waving around his cellphone.

“What? Where? Their communication frequency has been quiet since they moved those chemicals to the old Sacks building!” Donnie spun around in his chair to face Casey, you and Leo walking into the living room with Raph and Mikey close behind.

“Queens. Our contact in the Foot Clan leaked the info to us just half an hour ago.”

“Huh, that’s strange. That’s all the way on the other side of town. Aside from Sacks Tower, they’ve only really been active around the East Village and ChinaTown this past week. Maybe they changed their frequency again to throw us off track.” Donnie was quickly typing up info on his keyboard. 

“Well, regardless, we better go check it out.” Leo sighed. He wanted to keep training with you, but it would have to wait.

“Heck yeah! I’m bringin’ the steak-out snacks. Who wants Doritos?” Mikey grabbed his ratty old Jansport backpack and started shoving cans of Orange Crush into it. 

“(Y/n), you stay here and keep an eye on Donnie’s computer. The Foot might try to communicate about their raid tonight. Donnie’s program will intercept it. April will be here in about an hour, so just tell her if anything suspicious comes up.” Leo asked you.

“Right!” You said standing to attention and giving a military salute with a silly little grin on your face. 

It made Leo’s heart melt in his chest and his expression turned soft. 

“Just, stay safe, okay?” He patted you on the head then headed for the exit. 

As the rest of the boys filed out of the lair, they each stopped by you. Mikey getting a high five, you quickly cleaned Donnie’s glasses for him, and Raph, always last, ducked down for a quick hug when his brothers weren’t looking. Casey rushed ahead of them.

Master Splinter waved goodbye to his sons next to you. Once the boys had left, he informed you he was going to go meditate, and to come find him if you needed anything.

About 45 minutes later, you were casually watching YouTube videos on Donnie’s computer when a flashing red light appeared on the screen. It was indicating that Donnie’s program was intercepting a message from the Foot’s closed communication server. A message popped up on the screen, and you gasped.

“We have captured the turtles. Continue with the plan.” 

Then a video feed loaded up on the main screen. 

Your blood ran cold.

It looked like the feed from a security camera, depicting Leo, Mikey, and Donnie all locked in glass cages, restrained with thin tubes of red connected to their arms. They looked weak, they looked bad.

“What….? No… No, not this… please no…!”

Where was Raphael? He was nowhere to be seen. How did they get captured so fast…? They had barely been gone an hour!

Your mind was racing. You recognized those machines. Dr Stockman used them to take blood samples from Bebop and Rocksteady. If that was the case, there was no time to lose.

You made up your mind.

You snuck past the dojo and muttered a quick apology to Master Splinter. You knew Master Splinter wouldn’t let you go, so you kept quiet. Then you grabbed the handheld GPS device Donnie left on his work table. You entered the location on the map where the message was sent from. 

The old Sacks Tower. 

Time to move.

April arrived at the lair much later than expected. She and Casey had just finished speaking to the commissioner about police activities being leaked to the Foot. When they entered the living room, they were confused to only see Master Splinter waiting for them. The old rat was pacing and anxiously stroking his beard. 

“Splinter? Where’s (y/n)?” April asked, confused.

Splinter shook his head. 

“You don’t know where they are?” April became concerned, walking further into the lair. 

“It appears, that our greatest fears have been realized.” His expression deeply troubled. Before April could ask, she noticed what Splinter was looking at. 

Playing in a loop on Donatello’s monitor was old CCTV footage from when the turtles had been captured 10 years ago by Shredder and Mr Sacks. April breathed a sigh of relief, immediately recognizing the scene.

“Splinter, the turtles are safe. I spoke to Leo on the phone only 10 minutes ago. They’re staking out a warehouse in Queens. This is old footage.” 

Splinter’s eyes widened and looked back to the screen. His expression turned contemplative. 

“If that is so, then perhaps Miss (y/n) has made the same mistake.” He spoke gravely.

April had a look of shock. She quickly pulled out her phone and speed dialed Leo’s number.

Leo thankfully answered quickly. “Hey April, anything new?”

“Leo, is (y/n) with you?”

Leo paused a long moment and sent a look over to his brothers, getting their attention. “No…. Aren’t they at the lair?” All of his brother's eyes were suddenly on him. Leo turned the phone on speaker.

“No!! They’re gone. And there’s a video playing on Donnie’s computer. It’s a recording of you Mikey and Donnie locked up at Sacks’ estate from over 10 years ago… I think this is what (y/n) saw before they left.”

“They left?” Leo felt his heart drop into his stomach. “To go where, Sacks’ estate?” His brothers immediately started packing up their stakeout equipment to leave. 

“No I don’t think so, the sender’s location was tracked, it’s still on the screen. It says it was sent from Sack Tower in Times Square.”

Donnie came over and joined in the call, typing furiously at the keyboard on his wrist. “Sacks Tower. That’s where they were spotted smuggling those stolen chemicals into the other day…! From my notifications, it appears that the message was sent through an older Foot Clan communication frequency approximately 43 minutes ago.”

“Donnie, how long will it take (y/n) to get to Sacks Tower.”

“From my calculations, if (y/n) left the lair heading to the Sacks building about 40 minutes ago, going by subway, they should arrive in about uhhh, approximately 8 minutes.”

“And how long will it take us to get there.” Raph asked.

“From where we are now, if we manage to hitch a ride on the next nonstop train to Times Square…… about 1 and a half hours.”

“Shit!” 

Raph cursed loudly and turned away frustrated, and Mikey put his hands on his head. Donnie was typing away at the keypad on his arm, trying to find any kind of faster route and muttering about how stupid he was for not making you a shellcell.

“We don’t have a minute to waste. Let’s move out.”

That’s all they needed to hear. Everyone sprung into action and booked it for the closest subway station manhole cover.

“April, we are headed to Sacks Tower as fast as we can. And get ahold of the police commissioner again. Whoever gave us the information to come to this warehouse tonight was intentionally planted with misinformation. There was no sign of the Foot at the warehouse. …..It was most likely a diversion.”

“Right. I’ll get back to you soon.”

Leo hung up the phone and jumped off the apartment building and dove down towards the street’s manhole cover.

Leo grit his teeth.

“Hold on (y/n).”

The halls of the building were eerily empty. This place made your skin crawl. The laboratory felt all too similar to the one you had been trapped in before. But this one had clearly been abandoned for a long time. Broken glass, graffiti, turned over chairs, scattered paper. But strangely the power was still on. You didn’t dare try to use the elevator in fear of giving away your position. But you were confused as to why you had yet to see any guards. This is where the message was sent from, the turtles had to be here, right?

You climbed the steps to another floor, but paused as you creaked open the door exiting the stairwell. This floor felt like a world apart from the previous ones. It was clean.

And the lights were on.

You kept low, and hyper vigilant. Steadying your breathing like Leo had taught you, you crept into the sterile white hallway. There were glass windows along the hall looking into different labs. One held chemistry equipment, another held big bulky medical equipment that clicked and beeped. Finally, the last room at the end of the hall, a room with no windows. You had a sinking feeling in your gut, but still you crept towards the door. Slowly and quietly you pulled open the heavy door, and revealed a large lit room with a high ceiling, and there you saw it.

“Guys….!”

There along the back wall were 4 glass boxes with 3 of the turtles strung up and being drained of blood. You had found them! Seeing no one else in the room, you rushed in. 

“I’m going to get you out of here, just you wait!” You went to the first machine in front of Donnie and reached out to touch the screen-

Your hand passed right through.

“What…?” You tried to touch it again but there was nothing there.

The hologram distorted, and then the turtles disappeared. You gasped.

It was a trap.

You turned around to book it towards the exit, but the door was opening again. Bebop and Rocksteady squeezed through the small door one at a time, and blocked your exit. Then over an intercom you heard the familiar laugh that sent a shiver down your spine.

Stockman chuckled darkly. “Just how I planned it! Like catching a fly with honey. So predictable!”

You backed up slowly as Bebop and Rocksteady approached you. 

“Did you miss us, little kitty?” Rocksteady sneered.

The intercom buzzed as Stockman spoke again. “Bebop, Rocksteady, keep them occupied until I arrive. I will be there momentarily. And let’s not have a repeat of last time, please!” There was a clicking sound and the intercom went quiet.

Bebop chuckled. “Hell yeah! It’s been so long since we last played! Let’s make the most of it.” 

“That’s right! And we gotta pay you back for all the trouble you caused us! We missed you so much after you left. You wanna go first Beebs?”

“My man!” Bebop smiled at Rocksteady and clasped his hand, they both laughed. 

You tried your best to steady your breathing like Leo taught you. Your hands were trembling. But you needed a way out. Bebop and Rocksteady were not fast, if you timed it right, maybe you can get past them to the door.

Bebop approached you. You stayed still and waited. Then when he got close enough, you ran right towards him, surprising Bebop. He reached out to grab you but you slid right between his legs, then jumped up behind him and tried to run past Rocksteady before he could react. He was still too close to you and managed to grab you from behind, but you were ready for him. Just like in training, you reached up and grabbed him around his neck, and taking a deep breath, you threw all your strength forward and down and managed to flip Rocksteady onto his back- stunning him. You quickly jumped over him and ran for the door, slamming into it fast and wretched the handle to pull it open. 

Locked. (Warning for graphic depictions of torture ahead.)

“No…!” You felt a bruising grip close around your arm, and you were torn away from the door. “NO!!” You cried out as you were thrown hard onto the floor between the two oversized mutants. 

“See? Now that’s your problem. You gotta go makin’ our job harder than it needs to be!” Bebop complained. 

Rocksteady was picking himself back up, rubbing the back of his head tenderly. “Don’t let them get to ya Beebs, we’ll sort them out quick before Stockman gets here.” Bebop then reached into his pocket and pulled out an all too familiar black taser. 

Rocksteady took the taser and chuckled. “Little kitty needs a check-up!” 

You tried to get up and run, but Rocksteady stomped down hard on your left arm. There was a sickening snap and you screamed, writhing in pain. You were pinned. 

“Tsk, tsk. You know what happens when kitty gets naughty!” The taser was flicked on, all you could do was close your eyes before a strong surge of electricity was shot into your ribcage and throughout your body. You convulsed as the shocks seized you, your shoulder getting dislocated from the spasms, then collapsed back on the floor. 

“Just like good ol’ times!” Rocksteady passed the taser to Bebop.

Rocksteady laughed and removed his foot from your arm, then Bebop tased you in the ribs again. You yelped and rolled onto your stomach, tucking your very broken arm underneath you and tried to crawl away. 

“Hey, where ya goin? We’re just getting STARTED!” Rocksteady punctuated his sentence by kicking you in the stomach hard enough to throw you across the room. You hit the ground and your body rolled another few feet until you stopped on your side and curled in on yourself, the air knocked out of your lungs.

Bebop took his time strolling over to you, and grabbed you by the hair to lift you up. You coughed and gasped for air, grabbing at his hand and tried to pry his fingers off of his grip. 

“Think you can just up and leave whenever you want, do ya?” He growled in your ear, then dropped you down haphazardly to the floor. You were on your knees, buckled forward and holding your left shoulder, when suddenly Bebop’s foot stomped down on your right ankle and you heard a loud crunch. 

You shrieked. 

Exhausted and riddled with unbearable pain, you crippled to the floor. It took everything you had just to pull breath. 

“Alright, I’m back! How is our lovely patient doing?” Came the cheerful sing-song voice of Dr Stockman entering the room through the locked door, Karai tailing behind him. 

“Hey boss! Uhhh, we were just warming them up for ya! See? They can’t run away no more.” Bebop nudged your side with his foot, knocking you onto your side so Stockman could see the pain riddled on your face. You were barely conscious by this point. 

“Excellent! Bring them to me.” Stockman ordered.

Bebop picked you up by your good arm and carried you over to where Dr Stockman was walking to in the back of the room. Karai stepped in Bebop’s way for a moment, taking in your beaten appearance, and back-handed your face hard for good measure, leaving a shiny bruise and angry red gash across your cheek. That woke you up a bit. 

Just enough to retaliate.

You took a deep breath and tore your arm out of Bebop’s grasp and punched Karai in the stomach, hard enough to throw her into a large display screen next to where Stockman was standing. Stockman squawked in surprise. She rolled onto the floor, and pushed herself up onto her side. Spitting a bit of blood onto the ground and wiping away at her lip. 

You tried to stand on your good leg but you were too weak and collapsed back to the floor. Bebop and Rocksteady grabbed you by each of your arms and brought you in front of Stockman.

He was looking at you in awe, and reached out tentatively to swipe at the blood on your cheek. He rushed over to his desk, jumping a bit in excitement. He put a drop of your blood onto a slide, and observed it under his microscope.

“Ha…! HA HA…! YES!!” Stockman shouted in excitement and did a little dance. Bebop and Rocksteady exchanged a confused look and Karai stood up and walked over to Stockman, eyeing you angrily and rolling her shoulder.

“What does this mean?” She questioned him. 

“It means that the mutation was a SUCCESS!!! Those stupid turtles must have triggered it somehow. And now we can finally proceed with the plan!!!” He grabbed something off his desk and skipped over to the stairs leading up to the circular titanium base in the middle of the room. “Bring them here!!” He called over, waving his hand to Bebop and Rocksteady.

They dragged you over to Stockman, and were deposited on the round podium that sat under a large glass tube. Stockman started to pull down long rubber tubes from above, and attached large thick needles to the ends. You tried once again to crawl away with your good arm, as Bebop and Rocksteady retreated. 

But Stockman approached you from behind. In a quick jab, he stabbed the two needled tubes deep into your back. You grunted and groaned in pain, but could do nothing, collapsing on the podium. Beaten, bruised, and bleeding.

When Dr Stockman was finished, he descended the stairs and rushed over to his computer, giggling excitedly he typed in a command and the glass tube descended over you until it clicked into place at the sturdy titanium base. Locking you inside.

“They’ll be placed in suspended animation. Once the tank is completely filled with the preservation fluid, they’ll become nothing more than a convenient blood bag, supplying an endless supply of mutagen for our mutant army.” Stockman rubbed his hands together evilly.

“And what about the turtles?” Karai asked. 

“It is already too late for them to stop us. Even if they manage to get through your guards, they will be unable to free them from this tank. Once I start the filtration process, I will delete the programmed command to empty or release the containment cylinder. They won’t be able to free them without my help!” Stockman typed away quickly at his computer. 

One of the tubes connected to your back began to pull blood from your body, leading up through a small opening in the top of the cylinder then down into a canister at the base. Then from the second tube, a white milky substance full of liquid nutrients began to filter through and down into your body. It did nothing to numb the pain you felt as you laid there in a state of half consciousness. 

Suddenly, the loud banging of gunshots could be heard somewhere outside the door. 

“We’re not ready yet! Hold them back!” Stockman ordered Bebop and Rocksteady, who positioned themselves between Stockman and the door. 

The door suddenly blew wide open, and the four turtles rushed into the room, angry and weapons at the ready.

“Where’s (y/n).”

Part 7

@itsberrydreemurstuff @thecreat0r64 @eli-chris @kurlyfrasier @autisticnutcase @drenix004 @donniesgirlie @cherryp-op @foggyturtleknightangel @blackrockshooter780 @l-n-g-t @peachesdabunny @silverwatergalaxy @willy-the-witch @caeliasaida @veri-varily @xnorthstar3x 

If anyone else wants to be tagged for the next update, let me know in the comments! :]

[badaseyebags]

private lessons ⋆｡°✩ chapter 2 ⟢

fluffy, suggestive, smut in upcoming chapters

word count: 3k+ (phew)

warnings: very obvious power dynamics, just some making out, a bit of begging, lots of praise, lots of pet names, BADA CALLS HERSELF MOMMY!!!! aaaa

author’s note: i’m back 😳 i’m sorry that this took much longer then i expected, pls don’t block me 😞 i hope this is readable and not too disappointing @-@ i promise there’s actual smut coming soon! feel free to leave some feedback/suggestions! thank you so much for reading ♡ -booger 🍞

with one last glance in the mirror you gathered the remainder of your courage and slipped on your shoes, grabbing your purse with shaky hands. why were you so nervous? it’s not like you’re going over to her house to get bent over. you’re simply going to get tutored. unfortunately you remind yourself why you’re in this position in the first place, due to your lack of concentration during her classes. you sigh shaking your head, applying a second coat your favourite lipgloss nonetheless, just for good measures! was it too much? was it obvious you put in a little more effort than you usually do? would she notice? why would she? and why do you even care so much in the first place? she’s just a teacher after all..

she had texted you the address and you realised she actually lived a bit further, which is probably why she offered to come pick you up in the first place, not wanting to inconvenience her any further you politely refused. maybe you were starting to regret it knowing it’ll take a long time to get there by bus, and you’ll most likely be late.. late to your first ever tutoring class, what a great way to start. woohoo!

you put your headphones on, making your way into the bus and finding an empty seat all the way in the back. that way you could have some privacy to collect yourself before you meet her. actually.. that wasn’t really working and you began getting more nervous so you decided to pull out your notebook to mindlessly doodle for the time being. it turned out quite cute you thought to yourself, staring at the sketch, imagining those two figures kissing were you and her. oh no, you’re doing it again. you and your stupid imagination! and that’s not even the first time you caught yourself doing something so silly. you close your notebook shoving it back into your bag, just a few stops away from your destination. phew. time to actually collect yourself!

with wobbly knees you make your way to her apartment, palms sweaty as you smooth them over your skirt. 10 minutes, you’re 10 minutes late.. would she notice? she’s having a day off that she sacrificed specifically to help you, and you dare come late? oh no, you’re definitely screwed. you start panicking as guilt washes over you, practicing your apology in your head, accidentally ringing her doorbell in the process. fuck. you didn’t mean to do that just yet, you weren’t ready. if you’re fast enough you can just ru-

you heard the door nob turning, soon revealing a tall slim figure in front of you. “oh miss y/n! you decided to show up after all, and here i thought you didn’t need my help anymore” she teases giving you a half smile making your heart jump, not only due to you being late, but because of how effortlessly attractive she looked with her two toned hair tied back into a messy loose braid, complimenting her light blue button up paired with some slacks. not to mention the sound of her half groggy voice calling out your name and the way it slid past her lips so smoothly.

“h-hello mrs. lee i am so sorry for being late! i didn’t”before you could finish your apology she chuckled, shaking her head. “no need to apologise sweetie, i was just teasing a little. come on in, make yourself at home.” you blink up at her, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. you just greeted her and messed up? damn already? was it because she called you sweetie?! god, you’re hopeless.

“i won’t bite.” she chuckled again, walking into her apartment leaving you with no choice but to follow behind her, timidly shutting the door as you entered. you swore you could hear her quietly mumble something under her breath, but you decided it was your twisted mind playing tricks on you once again. for the sake of your sanity. “here here, have a seat. care for some tea? coffee perhaps?” she pulls out a chair for you and this small gesture alone has your heart fluttering for no reason. you look down shyly, taking a seat and avoiding her gaze. “i..uh.. anything is fine, thank you.” you mumble trying not to keep yourself composed. she smiles nodding as she reaches for the jar of instant coffee. “i haven’t had my coffee yet, since i wasn’t sure if you’d like to drink some with me. do you like yours with milk, sugar?” was she calling you sugar or was she asking you whether or not you wanted sugar in your coffee? …and she waited for you to have coffee? yeah, as if. you need to stop being delusional. “miss y/n?” she glanced back at you knocking you of out your prolonged silence. “i-i would like both please.. i like my coffee s-sweet” you close your eyes in embarrassment as another stutter leaves your clumsy lips. you swear you never stutter. she chuckles in response as she prepares your drink. “we are quite the opposite, i prefer mine black.” she gives you a soft smile, sitting down across from you, setting your drink in front of you. you mutter a shy thank you as your hands reach for the spoon, mixing some sugar into the warm beverage. “oh that’s nothing, i usually make really good coffee but my coffee machine broke recently so.. instant coffee will have to do for now.” you nod quickly, fingers gripping the handle and side of the cup. “that’s fine! any coffee is good! i actually prefer instant it’s not like i know much about coffee anyways-” your lips are faster then your brain causing you to blurt out such a fact about you, which only made her smile wider. “oh we really are opposites, maybe i could change your mind once i make you a proper cup, hm?” you blush nodding fast in agreement, did that mean you’d be seeing her more then just this one time? you try to calm your nerves by bringing the cup to your lips, taking a little sip. maybe it’s better to keep your mouth busy so you don’t end up embarrassing yourself even more.

“so y/n… just how much experience do you really have?” she also brings her own cup to her lips, eyes fixated on yours. your eyes widen, the coffee you tried swallowing getting stuck in the back of your throat at her question, resulting you in coughing out loud making her put her cup down and lean towards you in worry. “are you alright sweetie? was it too hot? did it burn you?” you cover your mouth, calming yourself down as you shake your head noticing bada is very professional and calm despite asking such a personal question.

maybe you are too shy after all and you should be more open when it comes to talking about your sex life. people do it all the time, it’s totally natural. you hear others talk about it all the time. but then again why would she ask you such a private question out of nowhere? maybe she’s just a very social person, this is how adults talk and there shouldn’t be shame. it’s not like you ever talked about sexual things with anyone, but you know others do. like with their friends, parents, therapists, lovers.. you just need to get over the embarrassment and step out of your shell, you could learn a lot from her, be as mature as she is, even when it comes to such topics. she sure wouldn’t judge you no matter what, she’s a teacher after all. “i’m fine! i’m just.. not too good at talking about such topics.. but i… well…i don’t have much experience… none at all actually. that’s really embarrassing to admit. others my age have already done so.. many times.. maybe i am really slow or something..” you chew on your bottom lip, struggling to keep your head up to look at her, choosing to look into your cup instead. if you could see your own reflection in the coffee you’re sure your face would be beet red by now. that’s when bada herself chokes a little as your unexpected response.

you totally misinterpreted what she was asking. she was asking about your experience on the subject she was supposed to tutor you on, not your sexual experience. did she give you the wrong impression? was she being too obvious with her interest in you? were her flirting attempts not as subtle as she attempted? no way, with how empty headed you are they probably flew right past you, she thought. well.. it’s not like she wasn’t curious about that in the first place, but she wouldn’t have asked so suddenly. however, she didn’t have the heart to embarrass you like that by correcting you and telling you that you misunderstood her question.

she just cleared her throat and went along with it. was she willing to risk it all? this made her want to corrupt you even more, but she can’t. not yet. you made her lose her composure. she needed to fix that and get back in charge. she won’t let it, let you, fluster her. “sweetie..there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. that’s exactly what i’m here for.” she decided to test out the waters, see if you were as submissive and truly empty minded around her as she painted you to be. her hand was itching to get a feel of your skin, she was struggling to fight it. she needs to take this slow she reminds herself, she doesn’t want to scare you away. but it seems like you’re already falling into her trap. your eyes instantly snap up to meet hers, to make sure weather you heard her correctly.

“it would be such a pity if you left without learning anything.. wouldn’t that make me a bad teacher, hm?” she furrows her brows in faux sympathy as her hand finally reaches out, gently cupping your cheek making you look up at her. you gasp at the sudden contact and your current situation. “oh y-yeah… i’m here to be tutored-“ you try to avoid her gaze, once again looking down in embarrassment. your nervousness made you think of studying again, which is the reason she invited you over. right? you must be totally misunderstanding this. you’re just being delusional, you tell yourself.

despite you both sitting down she visibly towered over you, not just in her height, but in her presence alone. you could feel her knees ever so gently pressing against your own if you weren’t trying so hard to distract yourself.

was she sitting so close to you from the start?

she scoffs in amusement, her lips forming a fake frown. “oh you poor little thing.. you really thought i wouldn’t notice the way you look at me during class? that i can’t see right through that pretty little head of yours? you’re a smart girl y/n, we both know you don’t actually have a issue with learning..” your cheeks heat up as you’re forced to meet her gaze that looks more intimidating then ever. she just exposed you. she knew it this whole time. you didn’t think your crush on her was that visible. your lips part to speak but no words come out making her grin. her thumb slides past your bottom lip ever so gently, almost knocking the air out your lungs. “i think.. you could do so much better, all you need is just a little motivation.” she hovers over you, her thumb now reaching the corner of your lips, collecting the remainder of coffee and bringing it up to her own lips. her eyes flutter shut momentarily, licking her thumb clean and savouring the flavour with a hum. “so sweet indeed..” she hooks her pointer finger under your chin, making you look up at her. chuckling softly she leans in further, her thumb stroking just below your bottom lip as her eyes trail from your eyes to your lips and back. “are you gonna let me have a taste, doll?”

you gulp, your own eyes focused on her lips, slowly nodding as you look up at her. “now now, wouldn’t that be too easy?” she leans in closer, lips near your ear. “you’ll have to be a good girl and ask for it.” your mouth goes completely dry as you gulp. your hands clutch a fist full of your skirt, tension so thick it could cut air separating you two. you mutter under your breath, scared your voice will betray you. “mrs. lee.. could you.. umm.. can you kiss me?” you shut your eyes tight, hoping she would kiss you then and there. instead you only hear a dry chuckle.

you open your eyes, attention on her as she tucks a stray hair behind your ear, confusion painted on your face. “thats not how a good girl asks. not even a please? now that’s not very polite, is it? i’m starting to think you don’t deserve it.” you whine shaking your head. “no no i’m sorry! please… please kiss me?” you look up at her desperately. “aww you want a kiss that bad?” she coos cupping your cheek, smirking at the heat of it against her hand. you nod fast, leaning into her touch, totally submitting to her.

“use your words, tell mommy what you want.” she raises her brow, waiting for you to finally say it. your cheeks feel like they’re on fire now, heart beating faster then before as you stumble over your own words. “m-mommy?” you shyly repeat after her, eyes widening, cheeks painted red. you could see the shift in her eyes, and the way it affected her.

she closes her eyes for a little, biting her lip almost as if she’s savouring the sound of your voice calling her that. “how fucking cute.” she rests her thumb against your bottom lip, softly pulling it down. “doing such a good job begging mommy for a kiss…” you close your eyes tightly at her praise, almost whining from such a small action. she leans in, her lips just a few millimetres away from your own. you could feel her breath against your lips, covering your skin in goosebumps. she keeps one of her hands against your cheek, while the other rests against the top of the chair you’re sitting on. she gives your cheek a soft stroke before finally connecting both of your lips.

her soft plump lips smashing against yours felt like a reward. it felt like they were on fire, the way your lips burnt when she pressed her own against them. her fingers against your skin were so gentle, tracing the outline of your cheek, barely touching your skin as if you were made of glass. her lips were telling a different story as her kisses only deepened. you didn’t know what to do with your hands so you loosely griped the fabric of her blouse. she felt you fidgeting and decided to slide one of her hands down to reach for your hand, giving them a soft squeeze before wrapping them around her neck. this gave her the opportunity to drag her hands down your body as she scooped you up in her arms. without breaking the kiss she lifted you and placed you on the table next to her, making you wrap your arms around her tighter. she experimentally dragged her tongue against your bottom lip so gently, your lips parted in surprise. she smirked sneaking her tongue inside your parted lips that granted her access. you let out a little whimper at the feeling of your tongues gliding against each other. you could almost taste the bitterness of the coffee aftertaste mixing with your sweet one and for once, it was delicious. you were everything she wanted and she wanted.. needed more. eager to be closer to you, one of her hands slid down your thigh, slightly parting them as she pushed herself in between, she just couldn’t get enough. with one of her large hands hand stroking the outer side of your thigh, and other one playing with your hair you couldn’t help but shiver in her touch. it was like she was devouring you whole. your body feeling so soft and tiny pressed up against hers. it was driving her insane. she pulled away breathing heavy, admiring your flushed face and slightly messed up hair, remainders of your lipstick smeared all over your lips as you look at her with what she could only describe as hearts in your eyes.

fuck, she’s so screwed. she knows it’s over for her. you wrapped her around your pretty little finger and you didn’t even know about it. heck, you didn’t even have to do anything. you submit to her so easily and that was more then she needed. there’s no way she could just return to just being your teacher, she had to make you hers. you pout slightly as she pulls away, already reaching for her, wanting to feel her lips against yours again. you got her heart beating as hard as she made yours. subconsciously shivering in her arms. as she leans in placing gentle pecks on your lips followed by your cheeks, so much more gentle and affectionate then she was just moments ago. “mommy has to stop before she gets too greedy..” she breathes out as she cleans your messed up lips with her thumb, knowing what she meant you nod, still leaning into her touch. she pressed a final kiss to your lips before pulling you into her embrace, your head in her chest, hands soothing your back.

“let me drive you home precious, it’s way too late for you to be going out on your own.” she gently pats your head, before she realises. “you didn’t bring any jacket with you?” you shake your head at her question, once again fidgeting with your skirt, slightly swinging your feet back and forth as they dangled off the table. “i’m not letting you leave like this.” you blush looking up at her as she brings you her sweater that is much bigger on you then it is on her. she taps your arms signalling you to raise them which you do, making her smile as she dresses you up. “how cute..” she admires you for a moment, fighting back the urge to squeeze you in her arms before offering you her hand which you accept as she helps you off the table. unable to keep her hands off you, she’s smoothing her hands over your clothes in attempt to fix them. “are you ready to go, pretty girl?” she pecks your nose, grabbing her keys as she grabs your hand. you giggle nodding as your heart flutters at her treatment, clinging onto her arm, letting you guide you to her car.

of course she opened the door for you and closed it after you sat down before she got in herself. of course she told you to keep the sweater because she wants to see you in it more often. of course she told you to keep this a secret as she pecked your forehead goodbye. of course your head was filled with nothing but her as you laid in your bed, wearing nothing but her sweater as you drifted into slumber, hoping you could see her even in your dreams, the scenes from earlier on repeat. you were starting to really look forward to these private lessons..

[sweatshirtghoul]

Domestic Copia HCs

I posted these on twitter so I figured I would post them here as well.

- He’s not the best at washing his makeup off, so he loves when you offer to do it. He just closes his eyes and wraps his arms around your waist as you delicately wipe his face, and when you place little kisses on each freshly cleaned area, he melts. He knows you’re a busy person as well so he’ll never outright ask you to, but you always try to offer as it’s his favorite part of the day and lets him know you love Copia, and not just Papa. 

- He loves to lay on top of you. If he’s had a rough day or is extremely tired, put your phone or book away because he’s going to get you under the covers and get you under him. He clings to you tightly and is content to listen to your breathing. Sometimes he’ll talk, but for the most part he’s happy to have someone he can just be with. If you start to twirl the longer part of his hair at his nape with your finger, he’ll be asleep in minutes. (You, however, won’t be because this man SNORES and sleeps like a brick.)

- The first time he knew he was in love with you was when you walked into his office with a snack tray, knowing he hadn’t eaten that day, and he was enamored to find tiny, cut-up morsels for his rats as well.

- Whimpers when you scratch his head. He is insatiable for a scalp massage. In the shower if you offer to wash his hair, (which is often because just look at it), he will let you until the water runs cold and you’re both forced to get out. 

- Always panics when his alarm clock goes off and is frantic to turn it off, as he normally wakes up before you and doesn’t want you to stir. If you wake up, he’ll always apologize, kiss your forehead, and tuck you back in.

- Every day when he gets back to his room, you hide a different rat in your hands and he makes it a game to try to guess which one it is. He’s always right because, “they are my children, amore. A Papa would know his own child even if he was blind.”

- Always has to be touching you, whether it’s holding your hand or clinging to you, he always has to have some contact as you make him feel safe and grounded.

- Acts upset when you fall asleep while he’s telling a story, but he will stay awake for hours just relishing the fact that you’re in his arms, and you want to be there. (Sometimes you wake up to him crying about it.)

- Is amazed by the fact you seem to know where everything is. Whenever he is panicking because he can’t find his gloves, belt, etc., you seem to find it in a matter of seconds. This is normally when he will bear hug you and wonder what he would do without you. 

- On nights when he’s working late in his office and knows you can’t sleep either, he’ll often ask you to come in. You either sleep on the couch in his office or doze off in his lap while he continues to work. Just knowing you’re there has such a calming effect on him.

- Makes sure to bring you a trinket from every stop of whatever tour he’s on, even if he’s screaming to stop the bus so he can run into a gas station and grab you a cheap magnet. When he gets home and is settled, he dumps them all out and tells you a story with each one and how it made him think of you.

- Always reads his sermon to you the night before mass and frets about it. The next morning if he’s unsure about a part while he’s speaking, he looks to your smiling face and powers through.

- On colder nights, instead of a robe you normally opt for one of his old, heavy cassocks from his Cardinal days. Whenever he sees you in this you can normally expect to spend all night reminiscing on earlier times.

- Has an overnight bag for you on the tour bus always, just in case you change your mind and say you’ll come with him. You never do, but he can still hold out hope. 

- Whenever he finds one of his favorite shirts missing, he always knows he can find you sleeping in it, and assumes you’ve had a hard day. After the first time this happened, he leaves more shirts lying around just in case. 

- Absolutely cannot sleep without thanking you for being with him and telling you how much you mean to him.

[alyssawolf2410]

Prologue - A Coin.

Well, I don't know who I made mad, but someone or something is mad at me. This morning didn't go as planned. First, my apartment building experienced some short-circuiting last night, which caused my alarm to reset and not go off. Consequently, I had to rush to get ready for work. However, when I went to get my clothes from the dryer, I discovered burned clothes due to the circuit issue and struggled to find something decent to wear. So, I ended up missing the bus, having to run to work, and being an hour late. Unfortunately, it rained on the way to work, but I made it nevertheless.

As soon as I entered the office my boss approached me. "Miss [Redacted]! I'm so sorry! You would not believe the morning I have had. But don't worry, once I dry myself off I will start cleaning the rooms." I started but was interrupted by my boss. "I'm sorry to interrupt you but we need to talk", she glances to her side as some of the other employees whisper to each other. " Preferably in my office", her eyes returned to me. "No, it's okay. We can talk here. If my lateness was the issue, I assure you it won't happen again!", I said, a little more desperately than I hoped for. I was praying it wasn't what I thought it was. Maybe she is going to promote me, or wants me to transfer! "It's not about that. It's about our company's policy. Can you please come to my office?", she asked again. Grabbing my bag tight, I responded " No. You can tell me here". My boss lets out a sigh before saying " Fine, I regret to inform you that you are being let go". And now I'm walking home, in the rain, without a job. Dang, I sound like a telenovela. I continue my dreary way home. This rain really came out of nowhere. I reach my city's little park as it seems to be hosting an event. Horrible timing on their part. Well, it's better than being out there in the rain.

I approach a large tent and lift the flap to uncover a soft, yellow light. Lanterns sit in front of small booths. There aren't many people here even though you'd expect more to be in here avoiding the rain, too. Some people go up to the booths while others watch. The booths have a variety of food, shops, and games. There is a group of kids going from booth to booth and the youngest of the group notices me. She shuffles over to me and asks " Why are you wet?" A little girl asked. "Oh... because it started to rain. And I didn't have an umbrella," I answered. "Why didn't you bring one?" She questioned. "Um. I didn't know it was going to rain," I respond. The group of kids seems to have noticed the youngest is missing. The oldest one spots the little girl next to me. She runs up to us. Starts to drag away the child as she scolds the little one. "What did I say about wandering off? Especially when you talk to foreigners!" Okay, rude. She drags the younger one away. While the little girl with brown hair waves goodbye. I give a small wave back. I notice a gentle blue light shining briefly in the corner of my eye. I turned to my left and noticed an empty booth with a blue coin placed on it. I walked towards the booth and examined the coin that was left behind. Curiously, I peeked over the booth and realized that the booth wasn't even set up yet. I picked up the coin and noticed it had no design on it. After looking around once more, I decided to take the coin with me and started to make my way out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rain had stopped, so I started to make my way home. I continued to explain the weird coin. But as I waited for the green light to cross the street. The light shines on the coin right to see "Make a Wish." A wish? So this might be for some wishing well at the event. Maybe I should have looked around a bit more before leaving. Hmm. What would I even wish for? Maybe a job? Nah, that's too boring! Let's put on my weeb for a moment. Okay, if I was some opening to an anime. Maybe I will be cliche and say I want to be stronger and destroy my enemies with the power of friendship! Hmm. If this is my protagonist moment, I want to be somewhat unique. Oh! I know! " I wish I could go to all my favorite fandoms! It would be cool to get to know the characters and explore their worlds!" I say as I flip my coin in the air. For a brief moment, the coin glows. Before I could catch the coin. Someone shoves me aside and grabs my purse. "Hey!" Ba Bump, Ba Bump.

Everything feels like it slowed down... I angrily try to follow the person, but soon realize my mistake when big bright lights blind my right side. My mind races a thousand thoughts at once. As I turn my head towards the light, my body moves forward. Ba Bump, Ba Bump.

I could hear the driver slam their brakes and try to swerve away from me... But it's too late... Time moved fast again as time stopped being in slow motion. And the vehicle slammed into me... Crash. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I jerk upward. I take a quick and sharp breath in and out. In and out. I attempt to even my breath. I think back to chasing the guy, the truck zooming at me, and the pain. A lot of it. Am I dead? I look all over. I might be in a cave. Everything looks rocky. Multiple tunnels are going to who knows where.

However, one of the tunnels has a faint blue glow. I stand up unsteadily and walk towards the gentle blue light. My steps are slow and shaky. At the end of the tunnel, I see an underground lake with all different types of blue crystals on the ceiling. Despite how beautiful it was, it was not what caught my eye.

It was the woman sitting on top of the lake. Which is already weird enough! She had a long blue gown with trims of gold all around it. It is so long that you can't even see her feet. She also had long dark blue hair that reminded me of waves crashing into each other. And on the top of her head is something close to a crown. It is attached to the back of her head with a circle headpiece that has two rings in it with many gems. Her dark skin is also decorated with gold. "You are here early." The woman softly spoke.

I jumped when she suddenly spoke as I wasn't expecting it. "You were supposed to help her. But I should have expected this since you humans are so flawed. I need to rework the plan for you to take her home when she comes of age." The lady stands. And turns to me. I finally get to see her face. She has the crown continue to the front of her face where it dangles. She has her eyes shut. Is she an anime character? The heck. Her lips are a dark blue. However, her eyelashes are light blue.

Dang, this woman really likes blue. "Since you have some time before you are needed, where do you want to go first?" I jumped again. Lord, I need to stop dozing off. Wait. "Huh?' I blinked slowly at her. Which she probably didn't even see.

"What do you mean? Actually, where am I? I'm dead...?" It's now just hitting me that I died. Pun not intended. "You are in the in-between. Yes, you died. Now, where do you wish to go?" She continues to speak softly and flatly. "The in-between? Like in-between death and life? Since you know, I have passed away." I am now curious about this in-between. "Yes and No. You are also in-between worlds but not. We are higher than gods, but not. We are just in-between." She whispered. "Do you wish to stay here? Or do you wish to go to another?" She continued. "To another? Do you mean another world?" "Of course. You can go to any world you wish. Just tell me its name." "Wait! Am I about to be iskaied!? OMG! I even got hit by truck-kun! And I can choose which world I can go to!?" I screamed. "Their so many to choose from! I'm having my anime/manga mommet! Wait! Can I have powers?! Or love interests?!" I exclaimed. "You can have that if you use your wish coin. And even more." She has been taking steps closer to me without me realizing it. "But only once per world. So choose wisely. If you would like, I could choose a world for you to go into."

I take a step away from her. "Wish coin?" "Yes, a wish coin. It's how you got here." She snapped her fingers. And that familiar coin appeared in her hands. "When you took my wish coin. As well as making a wish with it. You accepted my deal. Thus making you my newest wish child. And until I need you. You may have your fun in the other worlds." "A deal? What deal?!" I asked. "I am bored of this conversation. I will be sending you to a random world now. I will talk again soon." She turned away from me and started to walk back to her lake. "Hey! I'm not done asking -" Before I could finish my sentence. I see her raise her hand and snap her fingers. There is a bright glow underneath me. I feel myself falling as a bright light surrounds me. I scream as the world changes from an underground cave to a clear blue sky. Is she trying to kill me again! I continue to fall until I fall into cold water. Splash.

Next

[itscatinabox]

Driving around this morning, I saw two men at a bus stop with their phones up. I looked left and saw they were trying to capture an image of the blood red sun, burning through the smokey haze.

Yesterday, a journalist put a call out to speak to someone whose mental health had been affected by the wildfire smoke.

As someone diagnosed with dysthymia (now called persistent depressive disorder), it can be hard to tell when something is weighing on me, or if it's just my regular chronic depression.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized the many layers to there were on the impact of wildfire smoke on my mental health.

There are the immediate impacts. What otherwise may be a beautiful sunny day is transformed into a dark sky. Normally, the reprieve of a walk — the fresh air, moving my body, hearing birds sing — cooks up endorphins to keep the dark thoughts away. But bringing the N95s from indoors to out, and the inescapable smell puts a damper on the joy.

Step outside and you're left with burning eyes and a cough.

And if it were just one day, I might be able to just stay inside. But it's so frequent.

Clear blue skies on sunny days are what keeps me going in the middle of winter where the sun rises after I go to work and sets before I get home.

And as the days stack up, so too do the worries.

My daughter had years of missing out on experiences as a deadly virus ripped through the population. Now the joys of playing outside are dependent on air quality being good enough to not damage her developing lungs.

What kind of a world have I brought her into, where this will happen with increasing frequency? Will this be a normal part of her summers for the rest of her life?

Then my thoughts turn to guilt. How can I be so down when there were people forced from their homes by inferno who have shown resilience and optimism when they've lost so much more?

I think of the terrified woodland creatures, burning alive as the towering flames consume their home with no way of outrunning the blaze.

The firefighters, so many leave their countries, homes, and families for weeks at a time, with far greater risks to their own health have it far worse.

Despite the confrontation of climate change directly in our faces, people with power to change shrug it off, leaving the rest of us feeling hopeless.

The wildfire smoke definitely has an impact on my mental health.

[alder-saan]

the Path of Poisons. 11

Oleander

Larissa x gn! oc

the path of poisons masterlist: <- previous chapter [...] next chapter ->

TW: poisoning, Larissa's low self-esteem (if you squint towards the end)

words count: 2.2k

"Miss Addams, can you stay until the end of class, please?" asked Rei as the students began to pack up their things.

Nearly a week had passed since she had been poisoned, and she had recovered quite incredibly quickly. So Rei wanted to ask her a few questions.

"I'll be waiting for you in the courtyard, hurry up, we don't want to miss the bus" warned Enid.

Mercredi nodded and watched as the blonde hopped out of the greenhouse. The door slammed shut and the girl turned back to her teacher.

"You wanted to see me?"

Rei walked around his desk and leaned against it, arms folded.

"Yes, about your recovery. I'm rather impressed. I must say that cyanide is not a weak poison…"

Mercredi smiled slightly.

" Habituation. I spent my childhood drinking poison to get used to the effects. I guess it helped."

"Are you interested in poisons, Miss Addams?"

"Yes. Avareïda Hydrurga has always been one of my idols. Even more so now that she's tried to kill me."

Rei let out an amused chuckle.

"Well, I don't have anything more to ask you, I won't keep you any longer."

They moved forward and put their hand on her shoulder to escort her to the door. But no sooner had he touched her than Mercredi's head snapped back and her eyes opened wide. She remained like that for two seconds before returning to her normal state. The brunette was panting and her eyes were still wide open.

"Are you all right, Wednesday?

The young girl looked up at Rei.

"You're Avareïda Hydrurga."

They opened their mouth as if to say something but closed it again. What was the point of denying when Wednesday had had a vision?

"Yes."

"You tried to kill me."

"I was in class, there are about thirty witnesses."

"I know my idol's wikipedia page by heart. Avareïda Hydrurga is a siren who, if she can't transform, possesses a power of control powerful enough to alter memory. Your alibi doesn't work, you could have altered the memory of the whole class. I'm going to tell Weems. Especially as I've seen you have very good reason to be angry with her."

"I think Enid is waiting for you. You wouldn't want to disappoint her, would you? Besides, who knows what might happen to her if you're not with her?"

"You wouldn't dare."

With that, Mercredi turned on his heels and left the greenhouse.

They had spent the afternoon in their house working on their book while Iel knew Larissa was resting, and the students were doing their assigned tasks. They tried not to think too much about what Wednesday had seen and known. They knew very well that time was running out. He would have to tell Larissa who they were as soon as possible. When he stopped, it was 4pm. The Harvest Festival hadn't started yet. Rei went to get ready. Larissa and them had the evening off. Which meant that they would be able to spend it together. Rai was both happy and stressed. It had to be said that this meant that some students would be there too. They weren't entirely sure they wanted their relationship to be public. Secrecy was a good thing too… They finished drawing their liner in front of the large bathroom mirror and made a face in the mirror. Underneath the red colour, the roots were starting to turn black again, and they wondered if it needed to be redone. They loved their red hair now, but black also suited them very well.

They wondered what was the best outfit for a festival like this. Perhaps it was better to be comfortable in his clothes, so they put on a red oversized shirt.

They arrived two minutes late for the appointment set by Larissa, who was early as usual. She was sitting at a table between a sweets stand and a shooting gallery. It was already getting dark, and the days were slowly getting shorter. Iel smiled when he saw her, dressed as usual in her elaborate clothes, probably tailor-made, which were not at all suitable for a funfair, but which were part of Larissa Weems' charm. They crossed off a few of the attractions they had thought of.

"Good evening, dearest," they began, a smile on their lips.

"You here?" she replied, laughing.

"So, have you got any ideas of what you'd like to do?"

The principal swept her eyes over the attractions. She wasn't sure. To tell the truth, this wasn't her environment, nor was it her favourite type of date. But a bit of a change couldn't hurt, could it?

"Well… I don't know, I usually just watch, this is the first time I've been there so I'm not watching, and…"

"You've never been to a funfair before?"

"…no."

"Okay, so we start with… Oh, I know. I'd love to see you struggle in the Mirror Maze!"

Iel took her by the hand and led her towards the attraction without giving her time to think about what 'mirror maze' might mean. The installation looked shoddy, with spray paint disappearing in places, and Larissa wondered if this was her kind of outing, amusement parks. But Rei couldn't care less, and after paying for two tickets, they led her through the maze.

"Put your hands in front and don't go too fast."

"What is this? Is it dangerous?"

She squinted, looking suspicious. She didn't want to be dragged into something where she could hurt herself or ruin her clothes.

"No, but there's glass everywhere. It's a maze of glass. If you don't want to hit yourself, you have to hold your hands out in front."

And as they entered the first corridor, they noticed Wednesday, out of the corner of his eye, watching them from a distance. Obviously, they wouldn't have any peace.

"Are you coming, Rai?"

"Coming."

They followed Larissa through the maze. Iel left her in front, just for the pleasure of seeing her make a mistake, having to turn around and look for the other exits. She was concentrating hard.

"Say, Riss'…"

"Yes?"

She continued walking down the corridor, following the wall with her hands. Rei liked the way the light filtering through the glass caressed her face as she turned towards them.

"Do you remember what I wanted to tell you last time? I told you I'd tell you after the hospital."

"Yes, I didn't insist, but I thought you wanted to tell me that you were willing to take things up again with me."

Reaching a dead end, Larissa turned around. She smiled gently at Rei. Rei's heart soared to see her smile at him, to see her eyes on them.

"No, it's not that. I'll tell you at the end of our evening, is that all right?"

"Don't push it, you know? I can wait. Tell me when you're ready."

They nodded. Larissa was nice, but they were too afraid she'd find out otherwise, through Wednesday's fault to be precise.

"Come on, let's get out of this maze," the principal said.

She took her hand and intertwined her fingers. Larissa's hand was warm, which was reassuring. She wasn't wearing her usual gloves. Rei wondered how she would react. They were afraid of losing her. Especially for something as stupid as her name and her lie. And soon they were out of the maze. In the meantime, the headmistress, very busy going through the maze, had let go of her hand. Besides, she preferred to be discreet about her relationships.

No sooner had they stepped outside than Wednesday and Enid came to see them.

"Principal Weems, I need to talk to you."

She had planted her eyes in Larissa's and was staring at her very seriously. The headmistress was a little annoyed. Tonight was supposed to be a night off for her, and if Wednesday started acting up, that flowed 0 rest.

"Miss Addams, tonight I'm not working, can it wait until tomorrow?"

"It's urgent."

She sighed. Of course, everything was always urgent with Wednesday. She always conducted her investigations in her own way and didn't care about other people or what they thought or did.

"Well go and see Mrs Kedlan, she's in charge tonight."

"You're the one I need to talk to."

"Then tomorrow. If it's that urgent, go and see Mrs Kedlan. Otherwise, tomorrow."

Wednesday frowned. Rei couldn't help but let out a relieved smile.

"By the way, you make a very handsome couple," Enid commented.

Larissa's cheeks flushed red, and fortunately the fading light cast rosy rays everywhere, so her blushes blended into the sunset.

"We're not a couple, Miss Sinclair. We are friends.

"But you're both going to the funfair."

"Well, you do go to the funfair together with your friend Mercredi."

"That's just it, we're not friends."

Rei grabbed Larissa's arm.

"Well then you two have your couple's night and leave Larissa alone. She needs her rest."

They pulled her a little further away. He wasn't happy about the whole situation. And Wednesday watching them from afar…

"Are you all right, Rei?"

"Yes, it's just… It's just that I wanted us to have a quiet evening, just the two of us."

Larissa laughed softly and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Let's go somewhere else, then…"

And as her eyes scanned the place, they stopped at a stall where multiple stuffed animals were piled up. One of them caught her eye. It was a little white wolf who looked very soft and cuddly. Rei followed her gaze.

"You want me to win you a plushie at the shooting range, is that it?"

"Would you know how to do that?"

"Of course!"

And they set off in the direction of the shooting range. Larissa followed him, smiling. Carnivals weren't her thing, but she enjoyed spending time with Rei, and it had to be said that the atmosphere was pleasant. She didn't even listen to Rei talking to the man at the stall, she just watched him and that was enough for her. They took one of the small rifles and aimed at one of the balloons floating in their little lockers.

Iel was concentrating, and one of his strands of hair fell back in front of his face, but he didn't seem to notice. That's when Larissa saw Rei's black roots. She'd never paid much attention to them before, but it felt strange. Of course, she knew that her red hair couldn't be natural, but she couldn't imagine her with black hair.

Rei fired, bursting two balloons in a single shot. Larissa applauded with a smile.

"Well done!"

"Don't rejoice too quickly, I've still got a few to pop before I can win your plushie."

"I trust you, you'll succeed," she said, leaning against the edge of the stand.

"Is this your way of putting pressure on me, Principal Weems?" replied Rei, re-cocking the rifle.

"Not in the least, Mx Asphodelus."

They laughed and fired. Only one balloon burst this time. And then they continued to pop the balloons one by one, sometimes two by two, until they had made enough to take the cuddly toy home. Rei smiled as Larissa hugged the stuffed white wolf. She kissed her cheek.

"Thank you, Rei!"

"You're welcome," they murmured, blushing.

"Aren't you hungry? We could buy something to eat!"

They nodded and walked with her towards a food stall. The sky was now pitch black. The sun had been down for a while, and the place was lit up with coloured garlands that cast a dull glow over the stalls. But despite the poor lighting, Larissa was delighted. Who would have thought that she could have had so much fun in a place like this, after her 40th birthday?

"I suggest we go on the Ferris wheel afterwards," said Rei.

"Yes! Good idea! In the meantime, pick something, it's on me. Thanks for the plushie. And no arguments," she added, seeing that they were about to protest.

"Right, well then…"

They glanced at what was on offer.

"We could eat waffles! Not very healthy but who cares!"

"Yes, I fancy some waffles!"

She ordered a caramel waffle for herself, and one with chestnut cream for Rei. The waffles were still very hot when they were given to them, so they decided to walk around a bit before eating, and to sit down at a quiet table, away from the crowd. There was less noise, fewer people. But just as they thought they were finally alone, Wednesday arrived, still with Enid.

"Don't eat that, Mrs Weems!"

Rei frowned and took the waffle from Larissa's hands.

"You're going to accuse me of poisoning her, aren't you? Well, I can assure you it's not poisoned."

They bit into the waffle. Mercredi's eyes widened. She hadn't seen him coming. She didn't quite understand. Was it a bluff? Had she made a mistake? Or was it a tactic to discredit her? However, it was Rei who looked totally astonished, then frightened. They spat out the mouthful they had taken.

"Shit."

"Rei? What's going on?"

"I know the taste of oleander like no other. Someone tried to poison you."

"Oleander? You swallowed some?"

Larissa's heart raced. She didn't know much about botany, but she knew that oleander was highly toxic, and that very little was enough to kill someone.

"Unfortunately, yes. I need belladonna. Right away."

"What? Why?"

"Atropine is the antidote to oleandrin."

They bit into their waffle. They had to check something.

"REI WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"Checking. You were targeted, my waffle is fine."

"Stop that right now. On Wednesday, go and get some belladonna!"

The student didn't even dare protest and hid in the surrounding woods. Larissa took out her phone to call the emergency services. She was trembling. Someone had tried to poison her again, and it was Rei who was paying the price. It was her fault again, she was dragging people down with her…

She had just hung up when Wednesday returned. Rei was still conscious, but was slowly starting to give in.

Half reluctantly, the student handed the black berries to Rei, who bit into one.

"That should do it… Now, I'm going to lie down and… and…"

They didn't have time to finish their sentence before they fainted. Larissa supported him so that he didn't fall, and gently guided his body to the ground where he lay down. A lock of hair was on his face, and Larissa gently moved it behind his ear. There, she felt something. Like a small relief.

Strange…

She shifted Rei's head to reveal a small L-shaped scar behind her ear.

She gulped.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Larissa pushed Avareïda violently.

Rei fell backwards and hit her head on one of the tables in the big greenhouse.

Black hair. Black eyes. Scar. Botany. Poisons. Lies. What if Rai… What if Rai was Avareïda? What if that was the one thing Larissa didn't know that prevented Rei from calling herself official? That was why they could be sure she wasn't Avareïda.

But more importantly.

If Rai was Avareïda.

Then they still wanted her…

"Mrs. Weems, what I wanted to tell you was that…"

"This is not the time, Miss Addams. Leave me alone, please."

She couldn't believe it. And yet, it all made sense…

[kjmsupremacist]

something sweet, a peach tree (mark/jaehyun)

Mark begins the summer after his junior year with an unpaid internship and no other plans. But when he agrees to go pick his baby niece up from her music lessons, her teacher, Jeong Jaehyun, catches his eye. Too bad he's off limits, and not just because Mark's niece is involved. Jaehyun is 41 to Mark's 20.

To sate his curiosity about older men, Mark decides to look into becoming a sugar baby. He could use the money, after all. And he seems to find a willing patron right away. But for the first time in Mark's like, he finds he might be in over his head.

Chapter 1   |   next   mlist

Characters: Mark, Jaehyun, other members of nct throughout

Genre: romance, angst, smut, age gap, sugar daddy!au

Pairing: Mark/Jaehyun

Warnings: AGE GAP (older jaehyun, younger mark), alcohol mentions, poor decision making perhaps

Rating: Teen And Up (for this chapter)

Length: 3.1k

mandatory disclaimer: I'm not trying to romanticize or condone real-life age gap relationships because of the inherent power imbalance, blah blah, I'm writing this for fun and if you don't think you'll have fun go ahead and leave now, etc.

Mark drums his fingers against the cold metal pole as the bus lurches to a stop. He checks the time on his phone—5:25 p.m. He should just make it, unless this prehistoric bus takes any longer to open its doors.

After what he swears is a full minute of ominous creaking, Mark steps out into the muggy air. It’s still only the beginning of June, but already this summer seems like it’s going to be absolutely scorching. Mark supposes he’ll be doing a lot of swimming.

He crosses the street and heads up the sidewalk to the cluster of buildings beyond a small, uneven parking lot, squinting to make out the sign. Little Hands Musical Academy. It’s smaller than he imagined, somehow, but kind of quaint.

A receptionist greets him when he enters the lobby. Though the outside of the building is a bit understated, the inside is clean and bright. Mark says hello back to the receptionist, looking around as he steps up to the counter.

“Uh, I’m here for Lucy Lee?” he says tentatively. “I’m Mark Lee, I’m her uncle. My brother said he put me on the, um, the list?”

The receptionist nods with a smile, typing something in and then looks up. “Could I just see some ID please?”

“Oh, yeah, sure, one sec,” Mark stutters, fumbling for his wallet. He hands the receptionist his passport, feeling a little silly as she leafs through to the right page.

It’s all a little silly, really—that Mark is even picking Lucy up in the first place. He can’t drive, which is mostly fine since James’ house isn’t that far, only like ten minutes on the bus and a few blocks of walking, but Mark thinks if James and Annie are that worried about safety, having an irresponsible, driver’s licenseless twenty-year-old come fetch their only child is hardly helpful.

Still, they asked, and they also bought Mark a new AC unit after his old one finally kicked the bucket the very first day it was over eighty degrees, so here he is. James doesn’t get off work until 5:30, which is the pickup time, and though Annie works from home and can come drop Lucy off in the afternoon, she said she’d rather get a head start on dinner in the evening. And Mark’s internship lets him go at 5. So maybe it is kinda helpful, as long as Mark doesn’t lose his three-and-a-half year old niece on public transport.

“You’re all set,” the receptionist says, handing Mark’s passport back to him. “It’s the classroom at the end of the hall. A lot of parents are already here, you can’t miss it.”

“Thanks,” Mark says, putting his passport away and heading out of the lobby towards the back of the building.

There are many parents gathered outside the large window that looks into the classroom from the hall. Mark sidles up next to the group and spots Lucy’s pigtails instantly. She’s plunking away on a tiny keyboard. As Mark watches, the teacher—at least, Mark assumes he’s the teacher; he’s the only adult in the room—strolls by and pauses to say something to her. Mark can’t hear anything, but when the teacher walks away, Lucy is wearing a big grin.

After a couple more minutes, the teacher opens the door and gestures for the parents to file in. Mark gets his first good look at the teacher’s face and swallows. He’s hot. He’s also definitely a little older—forget Mark, he’s visibly older than James. But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s fucking pretty, with handsome dimples appearing every time his expression leans towards a smile. 

Mark is so busy staring that he ends up last in line, but it turns out to be a good thing because the teacher stops him at the door.

“Sorry, would you mind if I just checked your ID really quick?” His eyes are a warm brown, Mark’s brain notes unhelpfully. “I’m sure you already got cleared by the front desk, but—I just like to make sure, you know?”

“Oh, totally, no problem,” Mark says, once again struggling to extract his wallet. 

“Come with me, I have the list over here,” the teacher says, waving Mark into the classroom.

“Mark-samchon!” Lucy zeroes in on him right away and totters over, pigtails flouncing with each step. “I played the piano today.”

“I saw,” Mark says, grinning at her. “Hang on, your teacher just needs to check that I really am your uncle and not a bad guy, and your Appa really did say it was okay for me to pick you up.”

“But he really is my uncle, Jaehyun-seonsaengnim,” Lucy says to her teacher.

Jaehyun, apparently, has produced his list. He gives Lucy an amused smile. “I think I’ll be the judge of that,” he replies. “Can’t let my students walk out with just anybody. Thank you,” he adds to Mark, accepting the offered passport. After a second, he hands it back. “All set,” he says. “Sorry again about the trouble, it’s nothing personal.”

“No worries!” Mark says swiftly, filing his passport away and pocketing his wallet again. “It’s cool that you’re looking out for them.”

Jaehyun gives him a somewhat wry smile, nodding. “I try,” he replies. “Well, see you in a couple days, Lucy! We’re doing percussion next time, you don’t wanna miss it.”

“I like the shaky ones,” Lucy tells Mark very seriously.

Mark’s pretty sure she means stuff like maracas. “Yeah, those are pretty neat, huh?” He holds out his hand to her and she takes it. “Thanks—ah, Jaehyun-seonsaengnim, right?” Mark’s never sure about honorifics in a mixed setting like this—they’re mostly speaking in English, and they are in America, but the area they’re in is really Korean, so he just goes for the way Lucy called him and hopes Jaehyun will correct him.

He’s right. Jaehyun’s smile turns warmer. “Just Jaehyun is fine,” he says. “It was nice to meet you, Mark.”

Mark’s stomach flops. “You too,” he replies, then hurries out of the classroom before he does something stupid like trying to flirt in front of his niece. 

Mark lets Lucy chatter about class as he walks them down to the bus stop. He wants to be paying closer attention to what she’s saying, but his mind keeps drifting back to her handsome music teacher. Jaehyun. It’s not like he needed a reason to do his brother a favor—and besides, Lucy’s reason enough—but it sure as hell doesn’t hurt. 

They get home in one piece. James stops working to play with Lucy and Annie tells Mark to stay for dinner. Mark’ll take a good, free meal with his family over a shitty expensive one alone in his apartment any day, so he stays and helps with the dishes, too. They send him off with leftovers, and Mark can hear Lucy’s laughter all the way down the street as he skips backwards, waving at her until the front porch of his brother’s house disappears behind a line of trees. 

He sighs, slowing to a walk as he turns to face forward, dropping his hand to his side. In some ways, he wishes he was like his brother. Found his person early, finished school, got a good job, settled right down and started having kids. A life that’s small and perfect, full of little excitements and little joys.

But Mark’s not like that. He readjusts his grip on the leftovers, leaving thoughts of his family behind him as he focuses his attention on tomorrow, and the day after that and the day after that. He’ll have the time for excitement later. He can settle down when he’s satisfied. For now, his life has to remain boring—busy, and boring. 

And from the looks of it, that’s how his summer’s shaping up to be. Busy and boring. And honestly? Mark doesn’t mind that one bit. 

///

“Damn,” Johnny says as he pulls into a parking spot. “Didn’t know you had a thing for DILFs.”

“Wha—dude, no, he’s not a—a DILF,” Mark splutters, already regretting telling Johnny anything. “He doesn’t have kids.”

“How do you know?” Johnny arches an eyebrow at him as he unbuckles his seatbelt.

“It came up once,” Mark says. “I didn’t ask! He was saying it’s nice his job is to hang out with kids, basically, because kids are fun and he doesn’t have any of his own.”

“Hasn’t it only been a couple weeks since you started going to pick Lucy up?” Johnny throws this over his shoulder before getting out of his car. Mark hurries to get out, too, so he can argue.

“Lucy has lessons twice a week,” Mark says. “So I’ve seen him three times, which is more than enough times to clock if someone’s hot or not. Woulda been four, except my fucking boss made me stay late on Thursday.”

“I’m telling you, man, unpaid internships are straight up bullshit,” Johnny says.

“If I could’ve gotten a paid one, d’you think I wouldn’t’ve gone for it?” Mark retorts, grabbing his guitar from the back and slinging the strap of the case over his shoulder. “If this shit doesn’t get me a good job after graduation, I’m suing the entire career counseling office.”

“I got a good job after graduation and I didn’t have a single internship,” Johnny points out. “You’ll be fine. Unless you let this hot children’s music teacher distract you.”

Mark shoves him once they’re through the mall entrance. “I just like to look at him, that’s all. Though, I mean—I wouldn’t say no, is all I’m saying.”

“Yeah. He’s how old?” Johnny asks.

“Shut up,” Mark grumbles. 

Though they’re technically here to get Mark’s guitar looked at—one of the strings fucking snapped, he doesn’t know how—they meander through the mall on the way to the music store. Johnny ends up buying a couple of pieces of clothing and nearly convinces Mark to get a matching hat with him before Mark remembers, woefully, that he isn’t getting paid and truly doesn’t have the money to spare.

They finally get to the music store and Mark hands his guitar over, then follows Johnny away from the counter while they wait for it to be fixed up, poking through their record collection.

“Mark?” The voice is familiar, and Mark whips his head up to see Jaehyun of all people standing a few feet inside the door. He’s not in his usual casual clothes; instead, he’s dressed in smart business casual, a patterned button-down tucked into cropped pants. 

Mark swallows, trying to put a single sentence together instead of staring at his waist. “Jaehyun,” he manages. “What are you doing here?” It comes out way ruder than he means it, but luckily Jaehyun just smiles.

“I own this store,” he says, tipping his head to one side and looking around at all the instruments hanging on the walls. “I founded this brand, actually.”

“Really?” Mark would’ve never pinned Jaehyun as a businessman of any kind, but here’s the proof—one of the employees at the store has come up to Jaehyun with his hand extended. 

Jaehyun greets the employee, accepting the handshake. “I’ll come back in a minute,” he says, then turns back to Mark. “I wish teaching music class for kids paid the bills, but, ah…” He gestures vaguely. “Speaking of which, I missed you in the pickup line on Thursday. Everything okay?”

“Oh, yeah!” Mark silences the part of his brain that immediately starts trying to make a pun about pickup lines. He can feel a flush rising up his neck, both pleased and embarrassed that Jaehyun noticed he wasn’t there. “My internship just kept me late is all.”

“Hope they don’t keep you too often,” Jaehyun says, and Mark absolutely does not know how to take that. “Lucy looked kinda put out her mom was there to get her instead of you.”

“Oh,” Mark laughs, wondering why he feels kind of disappointed. “Well, that’s probably because I’ve started bringing her snacks.”

Jaehyun nods, grinning. “That’s always a good way to win them over,” he agrees. “Well, it was a welcome surprise to run into you in my store! I probably shouldn’t keep them waiting, but I’ll see you next week—I hope.”

“Y-yeah, see you!” Mark stammers, giving an awkward half wave, watching Jaehyun disappear into the back of the store.

“That was painful,” Johnny says flatly. “You don’t just think he’s hot, you like him.”

“Shut up,” Mark hisses. 

“You wanna fuck your niece’s music teacher,” Johnny continues blithely. “You really wanna fuck him.”

Luckily, the employee that was servicing Mark’s guitar appears at this moment and spares Mark from coming up with an answer. Because, he thinks somewhat miserably as he heads up to the counter to pay, the thing is Johnny isn’t wrong. But, fuck, Jaehyun’s literally fucking beautiful, and good with kids, and also apparently a rich business owner. What else could Mark ask for?

“I’m just saying, dude,” Johnny continues as they head back out to the parking lot. “If you wanna fuck that old man so bad—”

“Oh my god, he’s not old, he’s like maybe in his early forties at most,” Mark interjects, grimacing in embarrassment.

“If you wanna fuck that middle-aged man so bad,” Johnny plows on, undeterred, “at least get him to fuckin’ pay you or something. You’re young and hot, don’t waste it. No homo.”

Mark resists the urge to bash Johnny over the head with his newly-repaired guitar. “Shut the fuck up.”

/// 

Mark can argue with Johnny all he wants, but it won’t change the fact that he’s right. He wants to fuck that old man. It’s kind of all he thinks about, outside of basic things like work and what he’s going to have for dinner—and even then, the thought of Jaehyun is still percolating in the background, waiting for whatever has grabbed his more immediate attention to be completed so it can muscle its way back to the fore.

He sees him again the next week when he picks Lucy up and it’s all Mark can do not to drag his gaze over Jaehyun’s body as he waits for the parents in front of him to grab their kids. When he goes home, he scours Instagram until he finds him—a public account, a small mercy considering the fact that he only has three posts, but still. Mark pores over the pictures, thumb hovering over the Follow button before closing out of the app altogether and opening his text chain with Johnny.

Dude I’m spiraling &lt;;<<

>>> The dilf?

yeah &lt;;<<

It’s bad. fuck me man &lt;;<<

>>> uh, pass

>>> I mean maybe you’re just horny

>>> download tinder or something

And get stuck in the talking phase all summer? &lt;;<<

Or find someone to hookup with and it’s like their first time &lt;;<<

I’m not teaching someone how to kiss again I know I’m just some guy but I deserve better than that &lt;;<<

>>> ok fair

>>> if it’s experience you want……… go on one of those sugar baby websites

>>> remember what I said about him paying you

>>> your internship’s getting enough of ur free labor as it is

Mark sighs, dropping his phone on his mattress and flopping back. Maybe Johnny’s right. Maybe he just needs a good fuck and he’ll be cured. And there has to be some kind of market for gay sugar daddies who are bottoms, right? Besides, God knows he could use the money.

okay im gonna do it &lt;;<<

>>> fuck the dilf???

NO try the sugar baby thing &lt;;<<

>>> if it works out, gimme a cut of your profits

>>> since it was my idea and all

what are you, my pimp? &lt;;<<

I’ll take you out to a meal, how’s that &lt;;<<

>>> deal

So Mark does exactly that. He does a little research, chooses an app, and downloads it. He sets up his profile, just some basic information about who he is and what he’s looking for. The app suggests he not upload any pictures, for privacy, and Mark’s secretly glad the pressure’s off on that one. He’s not sure if it would help or hurt, but at least this way, the playing field is level.

He could scroll profiles if he wanted to, he supposes, but he has a feeling he’s going to start eliminating people because they don’t seem like Jaehyun, and that’s not going to get him anywhere. He’ll wait and see who’s interested in him, and go from there. 

He sets his phone down instead and heads into his kitchen to see about dinner. But he’s only just pulled a couple things out of the fridge when his phone gives an unfamiliar buzz. With a sigh, he puts the eggs back and goes to his phone to see a new message on the app.

>>> Hey Minhyung!

>>> Are you new to sugaring? Know what you’re looking for?

Mark scans over his profile. CEO of his own business, dog person, plays guitar. Not looking for something too serious. Income between 600k and 800k. 

Hi Yuno! Yeah, this is my first time sugaring haha but I did my research &lt;;<<

I’m hoping for something more casual. I work during the week but my weekends are usually pretty free &lt;<< 

Not expecting a lot, just hoping to have a little extra spending money &lt;;<<

Yuno is typing before Mark even sends the final message.

>>> sounds like we might be a good fit :)

>>> do you want to talk it over in person? We could go get coffee, get to know each other, see if we’re compatible

Sure! I’m free this weekend &lt;;<<

>>> Perfect. How’s Saturday at 3?

Mark glances at his calendar just to double-check, but as expected, it’s empty. When he looks back at his phone, he sees that this Yuno guy has sent a coffee shop in the city, not too far from Mark’s apartment. 

>>> there’s this booth in the back corner I like, let’s plan to meet there

>>> if it’s occupied, we can meet at the tall tables by the windows instead

Sounds good! &lt;;<<

See you on Saturday! &lt;;<<

Yuno likes his message but doesn’t reply, so Mark pockets his phone and goes back to cleaning. He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous, pulse jumping in his neck. It’s not like he’s in danger or anything. They’re meeting in public, and Mark likes to believe he’ll be able to tell if the guy is a total creep or not. Worst case, he wastes five dollars on a coffee he’s not even going to enjoy and has to keep searching. Besides, he’s not going to be young forever. He might as well give it a shot while he still can.

[lord-of-the-harvest]

Pleasure, Pain, and Power-Chapter 13

Chapter 13-Before The Storm

Summary: A hurricane comes to the city, and Jasmine learns about one of Ren’s irrational fears

Contains: Fluff, astraphobia, comfort, Ren panicking

MDNI

Ren came home later than usual one night, carrying a few grocery bags with him. “Hi Ren, what’s all this for? I thought we were fine on groceries.” He rushed into the kitchen and Jasmine followed. “We are, but I wanted to get supplies before the storm.” He hurriedly started stocking the shelves and fridge, clearly more anxious than usual. It had been stormy looking all day, but no rain just yet. They had both been paying attention to the weather reports, but Ren was much more alarmed than Jasmine. She had grown up with her aunt in a small town where hurricanes were practically an established fifth season. Power outages, heavy winds, and flooding were all normal for her around this time of year. She hasn’t seen one in a while, though, as they usually didn’t hit the town she now lives in. “Smart thinking, stocking up. It’ll be nice staying home, you haven’t had a day off in a while.” Jasmine was feeling nostalgic, and realized how much she missed her fifth shut-in season. Ren, on the other hand, did not welcome the storm. “Yeah, it’ll be really nice listening to thunder all day and worrying about the power going out.” His tail puffed up at the mention of thunder and Jasmine stifled a laugh. Ren noticed, and turned his attention to her. “This isn’t funny, Pet, my work is underground. You know, the thing that paid for those silk pajamas you’re wearing? The nice apartment we’re in? That could all be flooded by tomorrow morning!” He had thought about staying in the bunker, maybe even dragging Jasmine with him. His idea was squashed, though, when Rhino mentioned how basements around town were already flooding. Rhino was then tasked with staying there overnight, even though he assured Ren the bunker was safe and wouldn’t flood. Jasmine apologized for laughing, and reassured him everything would be alright. 

They restocked the kitchen just in time for the power to go out, making Ren scream out in terror. Jasmine rushed to his side, hugging and shushing him. “Shhh Ren, sweetie, we’re okay. We just need to not open the fridge again. Come on, let’s go get some candles.” She put her arm around him and they walked to the bedroom. He had lots of candles, most of them scented, in the bathroom. Jasmine used her phone’s flashlight to search around the room, while Ren lit and placed them around the bedroom. Once the room was sufficiently lit, Jasmine filled him in on what she had done while he was away. “Let’s see, I have a few portable chargers ready to go, and my laptop is good too. I already downloaded some shows and movies, what do you want to watch?” Ren was still grimacing, so she decided to take charge of the situation. She wrapped him in a soft blanket on the bed, and handed him her open laptop. “Here, sweetie, your only job now is to pick out what to watch. I’ll be right back with some snacks.” Lit candle in hand, Jasmine went to the dark kitchen and opened up various cupboards. With chips, candy, energy bars, and drinks all balanced in her arms, she went back into the bedroom. Ren was scrolling through her downloads, and picked out a Studio Ghibli movie. Aww, he chose the cutest, tamest movie I downloaded, how cute. She smiled at him while she drew the curtains shut. Even though she loved to watch the lightning during storms, she figured Ren was a little more deserving of her attention for the time being. As soon as she crawled into bed, Ren shoved her laptop into her and curled up at her side, making her giggle. She kissed his head and whispered how sweet he is. “Aww my sweet Ren, you’re okay with me, my darling.”

They watched their movie in silence, Ren still curled up, and Jasmine rubbing circles into his back. They were nearing the bus stop scene in My Neighbor Totoro when a loud clap of thunder struck across the sky, making Ren scream again. He dug his nails into Jasmine’s chest and huddled even closer to her. “Ren, you are okay, get your claws out of me!” His ears pinned back and his tail puffed up again. He had already wrapped it around her, and it tickled when he moved. She slid her computer to the side and turned to hug Ren. He buried his face in her chest and held onto her tight. “You have nothing to fear, alright? You’re safe here, nothing’s going to get in here.” He whimpered as she spoke and squeezed his eyes shut. I’ve never seen him so worked up and upset. I almost can’t believe it, but I kind of feel bad for him. Jasmine pet his hair as the thunder raged outside. He held her close, and shuttered with each loud clap. “Hey sweetie, do you want to keep watching the movie? It might make you feel better.” It took a second, but he nodded and let go. Jasmine brought her computer back into her lap and turned up the volume, hopefully drowning out the sounds for her fox. “See sweetie? Isn’t that better?” He nodded his head, not taking his attention off the screen. They laid there for a while, focusing on the screen and not talking. “I don’t like it when it storms, this is nice though. Thank you, Pet.” Jasmine smiled and held him tighter. Ren checked his phone, and a bright text from Rhino popped up on the screen. “Update: Again, nothing’s flooded, just like I’ve been saying all day.” Jasmine let him check, but took his phone away and shut it off. “You don’t need to be worrying yourself over work. Rhino has it covered.” He glared at her and took his phone back, unamused, but knowing she was right.

Late night was the worst of the storm, with Ren being incredibly restless and waking up all throughout it. He’d wake Jasmine up as well, getting her to comfort him time and time again. She was frustrated each time, but hid it well, knowing he was just anxious. By the morning, the intense winds had mostly stopped, but the rain still poured down. This was tolerable for Ren, and with the curtains still closed, he was able to get some uninterrupted sleep. Rhino texted him throughout the night, informing him each hour that nothing was happening at the bunker. Around dawn he was kind enough to finally send him home, and canceled that day of work in favor of sleeping in. The power came back on too, but neither of them noticed, and Jasmine didn’t care. All she wanted was some actual rest with her, now calmed down, fox. 

Notes: A calm little filler before the actual storm! Do I have any proof Ren has a fear of storms? No. Is this a little OOC? Maybe. Is it still cute and fluffy? Yes, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is what I was going for. 

I don’t think Ren’s afraid of the rain, I think it’s more of a control thing for him. 

[kykyonthemoon]

Wandering Stars (Chapter 1)

✨ Couple: ScaraMona (Scaramouche x Mona)

✨ Other characters: OCs, ChiLumi, Fischl,...

✨ Tags: multi-chapters, rom-com, modern AU, enemies to lovers

✨ Summary: A gamer and streamer known for his insolent attitude and mysterious identity. An astrologist with many troubles from her ability to predict the future. The two of them happened to be next-door neighbors, and from there the enemies to lovers romance began...

✨ Ao3

✨ Masterlist

————————✧————————

Chapter 1: New girl in town

On Narukami Island, outside the city of Inazuma, farther towards Ritou Island there is a small town named Konda. In addition to its tranquility and delicacies, the town is also a melting pot of islands, mountains, and the metropolis of Inazuma on one side. It is a great place that every foreign visitor should not miss.

Mona Megistus, on the other hand, was not impressed. Rotten luck had dogged her all day. She had just gotten off, or in other words, was left in the middle of the road. Her flight to Inazuma was delayed for hours, after which she lost her luggage at the airport and boarded the wrong bus. By the time she reached the outskirts of Konda town, the sky had turned dark crimson.

Mona hauled her enormous suitcase down the road by herself. She gulped for a second as she struggled up a small slope. She paused for a moment before pulling her phone from her pocket to locate her route. The battery only displayed one percent power left.

"Oh no! Don't you dare die on me!"

Mona shouted, rummaging through her bag for the backup charger. As she walked and looked into her pocket, fidgeting, she did not notice that in front of her was a crossroads. At that very moment, the sound of bicycle bells rang.  It was too late when Mona lifted her head. Someone rushed over on a small bicycle, head in an odd kind of hat. He attempted to avoid Mona, but instead hit her suitcase, causing it to tumble downhill.

"Hey!" Mona screamed fiercely. "Did you know I just walked all the way here?"

The young man did not pause to apologize. He continued to cycle downward. Mona claimed to have seen him turn around and smirk.

"You! Hey! Stop right there! This is crazy..."

Mona trailed him downhill, cursing and waving. Then his silhouette faded into the distance.

Mona, who was both irritated and fatigued, kicked the suitcase in anguish, but it hurt her leg. She sat down on the side of the road. 

This bizarre town... She would never be here if it was not for work.

She sat there for quite some time. The sun had set deeper and the road in front of her was darker. Mona stood up, knowing that if she stayed where she was, she would not be able to find her way to where she needed to go. Luckily for her, a white pickup vehicle was approaching.

"Do you need a ride, miss?"

The driver was a middle-aged man in his fifties. Mona must have looked so pitiful that he offered to help.

"You don't appear to be from around here, do you? If you don't mind, I'd be happy to offer you a ride into town. Where are you going?"

Mona cheerfully replied, tossing her hair to the side of her shoulder: 

"That would be great! Thank you very much! I'm looking for the Yamanohana family’s house. I've reserved a room there."

The driver looked surprised, he laughed:

"Is that so? Why didn't you say it earlier? I'm Yamanohana! You're a fortune teller from Mondstadt, aren't you?"

Mona nodded, then she frowned again:

"I'm not exactly a fortune teller... I'm an astrologist..."

"Alright. Hurry up and get in the truck. My wife has been waiting for you since the afternoon."

Mona loaded her suitcase into the back of the pickup truck, then sat in the seat next to the steering wheel.

"I'm sorry. My flight was delayed and then I had all sorts of things..."

"It's okay, it's okay... Surely you haven't eaten anything? Now it's just in time for dinner. Why don't you join us?"

The truck's wheels started rolling. Mona was overjoyed once more. In such a strange place, there was still someone who greeted her so warmly.

The Yamanohana family has only two spouses living together. They have a large house with a small shop in the front and various suites for rent. Mona was assigned a tiny but completely equipped suite for one person near the main house. The primary living area was accessible from the front entrance, and it had a small living room connected to the kitchen, complete with a television and essential equipment. There was a modest restroom, a sleeping and working mezzanine too. Minimalist but neat. Mona adored this room.

After dinner with the owners' family, Mona was invited to stay a bit later to talk with the landlady. Mrs. Yamanohana was very interested in fortune telling, and she asked her about everything in heaven and on earth. Despite being weary from a long day, Mona felt ecstatic when she was talking about a topic she was passionate about and had spent time researching. She continued to speak until the landlord came in and reminded her that it was time to relax.

Mona thanked everyone and wished them goodnight, then returned to her room. As Mr. and Mrs. Yamanohana prepared to close the store, the young guy who rented the second room from the main house returned.

“Kuni, you came home so late. Hungry yet?”

The young man leaned his bicycle against the porch, replied curtly:

"I've eaten already." 

"We have a new guest today." Mrs. Yamanohana went on. "She's just about your age."

Seeing that he was deafeningly silent, the landlady boasted: 

"She's also a fortune teller! She told me my fortune! She even predicted that my family will have excellent fortune in the near future. Isn't it fantastic?"

Kunikuzushi answered with a frown:

“Sounds legit. I bet she must have fooled you into lowering her rent payment!"

Mrs. Yamanohana reflected, "Well, the girl did say that most of her luggage was missing, so she couldn't send the deposit right away... But, it doesn't seem to be a scam."

"You're so easy to trust people, old woman."

Kunikuzushi was not exactly courteous, but the Yamanohanas had become accustomed to his attitude. Inside that arrogant demeanor was a helpless youngster without a family. He spoke with no respect for anyone, yet if there was a need, he did everything he could to help. Mr. and Mrs. Yamanohana did not have children, so they treated the young guests as family members, regardless of how long they stayed in the place.

Kunikuzushi huffed in annoyance. He had nearly bumped into a stupid girl on the street this late afternoon and that ruined his mood. He grumbled a few more times about the landlady seeing too much divination, then returned to his room, not forgetting to cast a glimpse at his new neighbor in the adjacent suite to his.

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[fantasypackerreviews]

TRex - KuduVoodoo

Size: Small

Firmness: Super soft

Trex - Harness - Review rules - FAQ

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Shares appreciated! Review under the cut

For reference: here’s an image of three pants types without a packer worn (and also, a reminder to always tuck your shirt when packing with dress pants!)

(Thick -> Joggers -> Dress pants)

Visual

Trex worn, stood neutral:

Trex, worn, sat cross legged:

Trex, worn, seated

Trex, worn, leg up on stool (had to up the contrast for the first set of pants due to poor lighting)

Trex, worn crouching

Trex packs nicely in all three test pants, and he seemed to like to "pick a side", which in my opinion is a perk - having to tuck my dick one way or the other was pretty cool. It isn't very noticeable unless you're really looking, and only noticeable at all in joggers, but it's at an expected visibility for a natal penis, so nothing to worry about.

(Model from Magic Poser)

I pack with him sat round here on my body, the long shaft required him to sit a little higher up, but as you can see he still shapes wonderfully - this packer can give you a range of visibility based on where you position him, so do a little bit of shuffling to find out where works for you.

He's also nicely sized, and a balanced middling weight for a packer this size, i'd say maybe a touch heavier than Lennex.

I didn't have any concerns going into packing with him, his shape was already set for success!

Wearability

I didn't find I had any problems packing with Trex, I had to adjust him once over the day and a bit I wore him for, and on his particular day I had to run like dumbass with my hands full of bags to not miss my bus - which wasn't even when I needed to adjust him.

Sits snug and safe in my pouch harness, sitting, standing, and laying in rapid succession posed no problem, the adjustment only came after my usual roam around the city, which is a significant amount of walking.

I was aware he was there a little more than some other packers, but in a pleasant and gender euphoric kind of way. He had a subtle but visible presence visually, and a very powerful one for me mentally.

Once you find out where you like him sitting, enjoy your day out!

Drawbacks

I need to stop struggling to find drawbacks, but please believe me, it's been really difficult. I suppose the shaft dipping down below the balls a little further than average could be a little daunting to some folks, and the idea of their packer wanting to "pick a side" in some pants may be less than ideal.

I also can't say I'm certain on yay or nay for slingshot harnesses. His shaft is a great candidate, but is more balls/bottom heavy, so it's pretty 50/50 whether he would work or not, but worth a shot!

Summary

Rad to wear out and about, I’d recommend the Trexfor folks with any level of packing experience who would like a bit of versality in visibility. Small packed perfectly, so I believe someone with zero experience would pack with one just fine, but there is a size down for those that would prefer!

If this sounds like the dick of your gender dreams, go check out the available ones here!

[ic3qu33n]

Its funny how the mind works. I woke up today thinking about a whole life I never lived. I had memories and specific details in my dream that I personally have never witnessed…

Let me explain better. When I was 15 (1999) I wrote a chapter book. It was on an Dell desktop computer that my older brother Daniel had built from spare computer parts.(These parts were coming from computers that at the time were 1-2 years old. Apparently when ever some students had “ruined” the computers at the high school the district would send them a whole new one. And since my brother worked in tech support they told him to recycle them. He did. But not before taking them apart to save working parts)

Anyway, back to my original thought.

This story I had wrote was about a girl named Jo and her 3 brothers who moved from a big city with their mother to the Pacific Northwest after their father died suddenly. The story follows this girl whos life was rocked and trying to find balance and peace when there is so much changing around her. Like having to be the adult because of her mothers crippling grief. Jo meets new friends who become her best support system and teach her how to “feel normal”.

I dont have this book saved anywhere and it doesn’t exist anymore. That computer is long gone. I remember it took me two months that Summer to write it. It was 2-3 hours after summer school every night. I would put on headphones, blasting “Smells like Children” album, (This was my “Alt phase” life) and just typed. I tuned out the world. I know, now, that I was disassociating a lot during this time in my life.

During this time in my life my dad was in jail again. That left my pregnant mom, and us 4 kids to kinda fend for ourselves. We were all living in a 1 bedroom roach infest trailer. (Like we couldn’t have pantry stuff cause the roaches would just get in it) Mom and Vicky slept in the bedroom, Daniel and Michael slept on a bunkbed in the area that should be where you put a kitchen table, and I slept on the couch in the living room. This trailer was so small that it had 1 entrance and that was a sliding glass door in the living room. For this reason I can never live in a manufactured home or trailer. This life experience definitely traumatized me. So when me and Chris were younger (early years of marriage and had two kids under the age of 3) I resented him for putting us in a 1 bedroom trailer. We argued daily, I drank heavily. I had no faith in him being able to care for me and our children. I was hurt and blamed him for my unhappiness for a long time. Anyway I getting sidetracked again.

My mom was working full time at an elementary school. My older brother was working at the high school. I started my job at my uncles Mexican restaurant. (I had to take the city bus and transfer twice to get there) we were doing everything in our power to get a better home without my dads help.

Anyway, I believe I wrote this story as an escape from the overwhelming responsibility that suddenly fell on me. This time in my life changed how I viewed the world. It was the time in my life when I stopped showing my feelings… I stopped smiling, I became cold and I no longer trusted anyone. I had a short fuse and started picking fights with anyone who felt froggy. I was not okay. I also started self harming at this age (it was a pain I could control and understand why I was hurting) I was very angry. I would take walks to the ditch behind our trailer court to break bottles and smoke weed…

My dreams brought me back to this world. I don’t know why after all these years did this specific story come back. I still remember this fictional characters life. Like I said in the beginning of this post, it feels like memories. Its weird because I can visualize this whole world of people that doesn’t exist. It gives me a weird feeling in my chest of almost a longing to go to this place and I can’t. It’s almost the same feeling of missing a relative who has passed and there’s no way you could ever see them again. No new memories. Just people frozen in time.

It’s just weird how your mind works.

[dybdahlsvisitportugalspainfrance]

More of Lisbon. Hey - it's a big place!

September 4, 2023

We spent the morning exploring parts of Lisbon that we haven't explored on this trip. The weather was not perfect - with lots of intermittent rain showers and wind, but it is never the weather that is bad - just the clothes you have on to deal with the weather. So we were OK!

We met our bus driver, Paco and watched his amazing skills as he navigated forward - and backward - places this huge bus should not go. Our bus is designed to comfortably seat 53 people - so the 17 of us are quite comfy.

We started with a small tour of some places Mark and I had seen on the Hop-on/Hop off bus and then started to explore other places too. We saw the Portugal Parliment but my picture taken through a rain spattered window was pathetic - so "hello my dear friend, Internet."

We worked our way to the one neighborhood that survived the earthquake, fire and tsunami of 1755 - the Alfama.

The roads are small and twisty and many of the roads cannot be transversed by even the smallest vehicle.

The place is built into hills - so steps are everywhere. (That is our sweet leader, Carolina. That is Car-o-leena. FYI.)

These houses were built in the 1500s. Many are covered with tile for easy maintenance.

St Anthony is the patron saint of Lisboa and he was born in the Alfama. This cathedral was built on his birth place.

So the buzz on St. Anthony is that he is the patron saint of match making. Women hoping to find the man or their dreams come here and light a candle. Also he is the patron saint of "missing items". Can't find the car keys? Light a candle and ta-da!

To get to St. Anthony's just grab a trolley.

Shortly after our St. Anthony experience we stopped for coffee and an egg custard tart - Pastéis De Nata - THE Portuguese treat.

And - I can eat these. YUMMY!!!

Our walk eventually took us to the main square of the city - the square where the palace of the king and queen USED to be before it was destroyed by the tsunami in 1755. The new palace was built far from the sea after that event.

We continued exploring in the rain and saw the elevator

We kept walking and got to the main square of the city - the end of the line from the traffic circle from Marquis de Pombol. Check out the patterns in the circle. It is an optical illusion - because it is flat. Weird!

Some our group headed back to the hotel and some of us stayed on to enjoy - a local favorite - Bifanas (pork belly on a bun with mustard.) I couldn't have the bun - but the pork belly was yummy!

As we walked to the Metro we saw this...

Carolina explained to us that this atrocity was a recent find in the hidden history of Lisbon. In 1506 in the middle of the Portuguese Inquisition a congregation of this church...

...mainly made up of "new" Christians - former Jews who had converted rather than die or be expelled - experience a "miracle." The alter was suddenly illuminated and the priest fell to his knees overcome by this miracle, but a parishioner said - HEY - WAIT - that is only the sunlight coming through that window. The priest was enraged and demanded that this "doubter" be killed - there and now. He was - and then the "real" Christians fell on the "new" Christians and killed them too. Then it was buried deep in the history books to be found quite by accident 500 years later.

Now, this church, has a series of bad events. Fire and other things have haunted this place for 600 years. Karma? Whatever it is, it has never had the same power as it experienced before 1500. To quote my granddaughter. when we are discussing history- or new jewelry, "I'm intrigued!"

From here we took the Metro to our hotel. PERFECT. Many people did many different things - but I took a nap. Only 40 minutes - but just the right amount of time to re-charge for dinner.

We took a lovely walk down the Avenue da Liberdade until we reached the funicular. The weather was perfect!!! We had some" technical difficulties" so we waited, waited, and waited but finally - we were headed up. We arrived at the overlook that Mark and I had visited yesterday. We felt so superior knowing exactly where were were...

At the top of the funicular we had a wonderful surprise from Carolina...

A cherry liquor served in chocolate cups. SWEET!!!!! Then on to our Welcome Dinner.

We had a wonderful dinner and a Fado performance. Fado is a Portuguese tradition and is a UNESCO intangible culture designation.

It was so much fun!!!

Check this out - (these are not the artists we saw - but it gives you a good understanding of this art.)

Tomorrow we will explore the city of Sintra. New discoveries await. I love my life!!!!

Stay tuned.