#and that's why cesare trusted him so much

[ctorres74]

really? not even her own brother wants her?

(sorry im not caught up on the lore lol-)

Well, it's not like he's really her brother.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

That with mark and alternative Y/n was so adorable!!! :0

May i request like the aftermath headcanons? Like Mark begins to trust alternative Y/n and sees them now as his Guardian “Angel” and they become a duo! him bragging around school catching others attention like adam and Jonah? :3

Aw thanks! I'm glad you liked it! Also we're calling this an AU where "all the victims are besties and attend the same school"

If y'all wanna read the prequel it's here!!!!!

.................

Mark had prayed all his life for a guardian angel.

Never did he think one would come as an Alternate, of all things.

But...how else could he describe you?

Ever since that night, you've kept your promise to protect him, keeping him safe from the others who wanted to prey on his loss of faith and hope.

It still took a while for him to fully trust you, though, getting jumpy whenever he spots you in the corner when he's about to sleep or hears your voice all of the sudden.

And of course his nightmares have gotten 10x worse, but you're always there to comfort him.

The worst ones are where you sell him out to your "Savior", though those eventually faded.

You only went into hiding when Thatcher visited his house for a wellness check after his school's receptionist got concerned with his prolonged absence.

He didn't give away the fact you were still present, but did report his encounters with the other hostile Alternates, allowing the lieutenant to collect evidence.

Once Mark is determined not to show any M.A.D symptoms, he's okay enough to go back to school, where you still watch over him regularly.

Alternates haven't found a way to infiltrate schools yet, but you didn't wanna take any chances.

From your observations, you learn that he's quite the shy/loner kid, sometimes getting teased by others for his personality alone.

You also learned that Cesar usually rushed to his defense...but with him gone, Mark was pretty much on his own now.

One day, he's drawing you during class. But when the teacher left the room for a minute, some jerk snatched his "Reassurances" notebook and made fun of him in front of everyone.

He managed to get it back, but he hid in the bathroom during lunchtime and cried for a while until you appeared in the mirror and asked what's wrong.

Long story short, you gave the bully M.A.D later that night and left them to their fate (spoiler: they were part of the 3% who lived, unfortunately, but they dropped out of school).

Mark's not one to condone this kind of thing from you, but....you actually did him a huge favor by getting rid of them. They've bullied him for years--ever since the day he shared that "scary night" story back in elementary, in fact, and they never let it go.

With them gone, he becomes a bit more confident in himself, eventually telling his friends about how an Alternate actually helped him.

Ofc seldom few actually believe him, though it definitely caught the attention of Adam, Jonah, Sarah, and Evelin.

They're trying to get a paranormal/ghost-hunting club established and think it would be neat to have a friendly Alternate as their mascot and/or helper.

They are surprised when Mark agrees to join, considering he used to say it was "demonic" and didn't want anything to do with the club--but you've changed his perspective.

Obviously they don't want any authority figures getting word of an Alternate hanging around the school, so they do their best to talk to you in secret, learning how you helped their friend that night and why you're so benevolent towards innocent humans.

Sarah and Jonah are lowkey nervous interacting with you (Sarah bc her brother nearly died thanks to the actions of two other members of your kind, and Jonah bc he's skittish around all things scary).

If anyone trusts you, though, it's Mark.

[marleyybluu]

Secret Crush

Oscar x black!fem!reader

Warnings: just fluff, Oscar being a simp, flirting

Word count: 1.7k

He felt like he was visibly shaking. He wouldn't stop bouncing his foot while he sat in the chair. Three bottles of liquor and a shot glass to his left with an empty awaiting chair in front of him. Today was the day he'd finally admit his feelings to his crush and what better way to do it than with some liquid courage, a room full of cameras and in front of thousands of viewers? 

Thanks to his little brother Cesar, he received an email from one of the producers of a YouTube channel called 'Cut' for their popular segment of Truth or Drink. He wasn't for it at first but in the words of his younger sibling it was time for him to "grow a pair." Reminding him he should've smacked him in the head for this. 

It was plain as daylight that he had a crush on her, he hated the feeling though-- the way his heart would almost burst out of his chest when he saw her, the way he would listen attentively when she spoke and how that sweet smooth voice of hers could have him hypnotized all day. He wasn't used to these feelings it almost scared him. 

"Hi. Do you mind telling us your name?" The lady standing next to the camera greeted bringing him down from his thoughts. "Wassup, my name is Spooky." He nodded not giving his government name. 

"And why are you here?" 

He lowly chuckled while shaking his head. "I am here to tell my crush that I like her." 

"Does she have any idea why she’s here today?" 

He shook his head. "She's actually a fan of these videos, but I told her we were doing truth or drink friends." Lowkey hated that he had to lie to her. "Is it okay if we bring her out now? Are you ready?" 

Spooky took a deep breath and nodded as he sat up straight, the same lady had gone to the backrooms to summon her. She came back out with her hot on her heels, Spooky had a small glimmer in his eyes as he smiled at her, she was all bright and cheery as she waved to him. "Hola papito." 

"Hola mamita." He beamed, his brown eyes following her as she sat down. She rested her hands on the table and turned over to the camera. "And who do we have here?"

"I am Y/n." 

"Heard you're a fan of these videos." 

She turned to look at Spooky knowing he was the only one who would binge-watch these with her. "Yeah, it's a bit nerve-wracking to be on the other side."

"So, how do you two know each other?" 

Y/n started to giggle. "His little brother is dating my cousin, so I met him at one of our family functions." 

Spooky's tongue poked the inside of his cheek fighting so hard not to smile as he himself recalled the first time he met her and how she dragged him inside when he claimed he was only dropping off Cesar. He was glad she did it. 

The producer allowed them to take one shot before the questions started, Spooky poured her drink for her and slid it over before pouring his own, they clinked the glasses and threw their heads back to quickly down the burning drink. Y/n's eyes squeezed shut and her head shook as she reached for the glass of juice next to her. She wasn't much of a drinker but if it was being offered she'd take it. 

The cards were laid out faced down in front of them, each person had their own stack. He offered that she go first, she picked up the first card almost nervous to do so since she knew a lot of these questions could take a turn at any time. "What is something about me that you find intriguing?" He watched as she put down the card next to the stack she just took it from. "I don't know if it's weird to say this but you change a lot. Your hair is different every time I see you and I like that, it's cool to see that you can do so much with it. You watch one video and recreate a style perfectly, I like it."

She flashed a smile. "It's not weird to say, thank you I appreciate that. I always feel like they don't turn out good." 

"Nah they turn out amazing, trust me." He said getting ready to pick a card. 

"Do you have a favourite style of hers?" 

He nodded. "I like when it's up and it's got a little puff at the top. Sometimes she'll... make it curly, sometimes she won't. I like it either way." 

 "What are my toxic traits?" He rolled his eyes placing the card down.

Y/n raised her eyebrows. "You are so hard-headed." Spooky kissed his teeth turning his head away from her, she laughed and pointed. "See! You guys have no idea how many times I tell him 'I told you so.' All because you don't want to listen." 

He looked back over to her fighting another grin but that dimple of his gave him away. He gently kicked her under the table and she returned it a bit harder. The producers could already tell the dynamic they most likely have outside of this interview, childish and playful, he was such a serious person when he was sitting in that chair but the minute she came out he was a different person. They had chemistry there was no denying that.

Y/n flipped over her card, reading it in her head first and blushing at the fact that she really had to ask this. "Would you say you're a good kisser?" She was pretty interested in knowing. 

He looked over at the camera and back at her. "I would say I am yeah." 

"Do you use tongue?" The lady in the background instigated. Spooky nervously laughed, his hand went to the back of his neck, he lightly scratched it as he nodded his head.  Y/n bit her lip and shuffled in her seat feeling a sudden heat and tingle building in the pit of her stomach. 

He reached for another question. "Rate my attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10." That was more of a statement than a question. 

"10." 

Spooky's face fell, not in a bad way but more in a surprised way, he did not expect her to answer so quickly. Y/n shrugged providing an explanation. "Spooky, sweetie, I'm not blind. You are very attractive. I'm not the only girl who thinks so either." A subtle jab at the number of girls she sees flocking to him whenever he has a Santos party or even if he's just merely driving around town. 

She had no reason to be jealous, at least that's what she told herself, but she couldn't help but feel a little disdain towards them. "Hold on, I kind of want to know what you rate me."

Spooky reached over for a bottle and poured some liquor, Y/n's mouth hung open and her heart sank, she could feel her posture slouch in disappointment. He raised the glass to his lips before saying, "20." He winked at her before tipping his head back.

Her frown quickly disappeared. "Pendejo." 

-

They went back and forth until the pile became smaller and smaller. "If we were to have sex, what would you do to me or what would you let me do to you?" 

Spooky was full-on blushing at this point. Y/n shrugged reaching for a drink. "If you're lucky, querido, you could find out." She answered. 

She was teasing him and he was liking it. "We're actually going to have Spooky pick up another card, sorry, we didn't get that shot." The producer lied. 

He inhaled deeply and exhaled enough that it almost sunk his chest in. He picked up another card, staring at it a bit longer than the others, he cleared his throat as he put it down. "Can I just take a shot instead?" 

"Boy, just ask the question, you know you can ask me anything." Y/n reassured. He exhaled once more and just went for it. "I have a crush on you..." 

Her eyes widened slightly and her shoulders relaxed. "No you don't." 

"I do." 

Y/n squinted and reached over to the card that he had just put down wondering whether this was a joke or not. And it wasn't. The card instructed that he confess his feelings. "Oh shit..." 

That wasn't the answer he was looking for, now all of a sudden he was starting to be filled with regret, he knew doing this was stupid. Y/n noticed his demeanour change and quickly responded. "Spooky... I like you too." 

"You do?" 

She nodded eagerly. "A lot. Why do you think I pulled you into the party when we first met? I thought you were so fine, and then we started talking... and then I saw you again and we kept seeing each other outside of Monse and Cesar..." She was rambling, she was rambling nervously. He placed his hand on top of hers, a small gesture to get her to stop before she talked her head off. 

"I'm not gonna lie yo, I was nervous to do this, nervous you wouldn't like me back." 

"Oh papito, what's not to like?" She cooed. 

"So what is the plan now?" 

Spooky looked at Y/n. "Good question. I say I'll take you on our first date tomorrow. If you're cool with that." 

"I am more than cool with that." 

"Come here." Spooky held onto her hand as she stood up from her seat, she pulled down her skirt a bit a made her way over to him comfortably sitting on his lap. His free hand wrapped around her waist. 

"Well, I think we'll end it here. I just want to thank you two for coming on, and I wish you nothing but luck on this, hopefully, new journey." 

Y/n grinned. "Thank you." 

"Thanks." 

As the team took down the equipment they stayed seated together. He placed a hesitant and gentle kiss on her shoulder. "Maybe I should take you on a date now instead." 

She placed her hand on his cheek, pressing a kiss on his nose. "Let's go then." 

If you liked this fic feel free to like this fic, comments and reblogs are appreciated.

peace and love

tags (also tagging those who might be interested):

@skyesthebomb @darqchilddaydreamz @realhotgurlshit

[scoobydoodean]

I feel like you’re one of the few people I’d trust to ask this of, but I always find myself wondering at the different reactions Dean has to hunting, i.e: Sam and others. Like I don’t think at all that he forced Sam back or was dragging him around or anything like that. But even way back then with Jo he was always like “get away from this life”. And still, especially early on, he seemed to be offended/angry that Sam didn’t like the life/want it for himself. I always personally understood it as a mix of sibling bickering like “ohh you think you’re so much better”, a front so as to pretend “hey everything is fine don’t look too closely” and Sam himself kinda conflating hunting = family and thus had to cut both out to be free of it, so in turn Dean also associated Sam walking away from hunting as walking away from family (reinforced by Heaven and Purgatory, later on, in slightly different ways) (although which came first and/or how much that was influenced by John first is ultimately a chicken and egg situation, I suppose). But I’d like to know if you have thoughts on this? Sorry for the long ask, I hope it was coherent?

NOTE: For anyone looking for commentary on Dean absolutely not forcing Sam back into hunting, my tags #sam the hunter, #sam the family man, and #in which... I am too lazy to write all that out may be of use.

So if I understand correctly, what we're getting at here is that Dean pretty consistently tries to talk people (especially younger people) out of the life or objects to involving them. For example, Jo (2.06), Adam (4.19), Jimmy (4.20), Krissy and her dad (7.11), Krissy's friends (8.18), Claire (10.20). He tries to protect Jesse and Cesar's retirement. But when it comes to Sam, Dean isn't so into trying to talk him out of the life.

To discuss the premise itself first, I can think of the following instances where Dean is hurt, skeptical, or displays some other sort of objection to Sam vs normal life: 1.01, 1.16, 4.22, 5.16, 8.01 (Pine's rewatch notes help me out here too). On the other hand, I can also think of many moments where Dean is supportive of Sam having a normal life or wishes that for him. Starting from 1.06 and 1.18, Dean says that he wishes Sam could just be normal. By 1.07, Dean is suggesting they just stay in the college town representing Sam's wistful desire for normality. I have a compilation gifset of these and a few other season 1 moments here. In 2.20, Dean beams with happiness that Sam is living a normal life and has Jess by his side—this is also despite the fact that he and Sam are estranged in the Djinn dream universe. In season 8, while Dean is hurt and angry that Sam left him to die and abandoned Kevin, when the opportunity presents itself for Sam to get back together with Amelia in 8.10 and go be normal, Dean tells Sam he should go to her if that's what would make him happy. In 8.14, Dean says he wants to do The Trials so that Sam can survive and go be normal. Basically what I'm getting at is that while moments occur where Dean seems hurt by Sam wanting a normal life or has some other objection, there are more moments where the exact opposite is true. This contrast also opens the door for questions about why Dean sometimes reacts negatively and sometimes doesn't (or maybe has to "come around" to the idea). The mixed bag suggests a lot of different and sometimes conflicting emotions, which is very realistic I think.

I don't think every single one of these reasons factors into every single one of the five episodes I mentioned where Dean seems hurt/skeptical about Sam + normal life, but here we go:

First, while Dean tries to push a lot of people out of the life and is also shown to crave a normal life for himself at various points (ex: 2.20, 3.10, 5.17), he does believe that being involved with the supernatural world is physically unavoidable for some people, and that it psychologically gets its hooks into others to the point they eventually can't get out/turn back (ex: 4.19). Jack, Jesse, and Kevin (and Sam and Dean themselves eventually) are examples of people Sam and Dean see as stuck in the life practically, because demons and angels are after them for reasons out of all of their control. However, Sam and Dean were both psychologically stuck in hunting first. For Dean, the house fire and how he was raised leave him feeling stuck in the hunting world. Sam doesn't remember the fire, but follows on John's heels when Jess dies in the same manner that Mary did. The trauma of losing Jess creates a commonality and drive that wasn't present before, causing Sam to say that he and his father aren't different anymore—in fact, they have more in common than just about anyone (1.20). On many occasions, Sam also talks about hunting as an inevitability/something he can't "come back" from at this point even if he wanted to (ex: 2.10, 4.19, 4.21). Closely interrelated, at various points, Sam also says that hunting has become a life he loves and/or prefers to normality (ex: 2.02, 2.20, 4.08, 4.17, 5.12a, 5.12b, 5.12c, 10.18).

Dean's language in 1.01 "Sooner or later, you're going to have to face up to who you really are" suggests part of Dean sees Sam as a hunter at the core from the beginning who is hiding from who he really is deep down. I think there is some truth to this (see my #sam the hunter tag). In that scene in 1.01, Dean generally expresses skepticism that Sam is really capable of leading the life he's trying to live long term. I think Dean also has reason to think that way, given that Sam outright admits he plans to lie to Jess forever... which kind of means Sam stays in the hunter mindset (where you lie to normal people every day to keep up appearances) and never really gets to be himself either way. Dean doesn't think this is practical or healthy and says so (and he's not wrong). All this to say—I think in 1.01, Dean has difficulty understanding that Sam has not (quite yet) fallen into the hunting world. Dean and John are kind of bonded by the shared trauma of losing Mary, but Sam doesn't share that trauma (as Sam himself points out on the bridge, saying he doesn't even remember Mary). Of course, that changes by the end of the episode. 8.01, Dean is just "?!?!?!?!?" because Sam has told Dean point blank on multiple occasions at that point that he prefers hunting to being normal (2.20, 4.08, 5.12) and has been overall rather into hunting, and has voiced the same thinking as Dean in regards to not being able to get out psychologically even if he wanted to (4.19, 5.12). There's a reason that when Sam says he doesn't hunt anymore in 8.01, Dean thinks he's joking at first. (I talk about why Sam left hunting between seasons 7 and 8 here). The thing is is that (unless driven by a burning desire for revenge as in the season 3-4 gap and the season 9-10 gap) Sam will not hunt without Dean. Not because Dean "makes" him hunt, but because Sam doesn't have the heart for the work without Dean by his side. (See the "I can't do it without my brother" 10.18 speech).

SAM: You know, when Dean came to get me at school, I-I told myself… one last job, you know? One more job. And then when – when I, um…. When I lost Jess, I, again, told myself one more job. There’s always one more job, you know? And one more job, and one more job, and then I was gonna go back to law and – and to my life. CHARLIE: You were the Dread Pirate Roberts of hunting. SAM: Yeah. I guess I really understand now that….this is my life. I love it. But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother. And if he’s gone, then I don’t….

Interrelated to the concept of hunting as inescapable and as something Sam voices his enjoyment of multiple times—in 1.01, Dean also (though part bravado) still romanticizes hunting to an extent (though not for much longer—we see this by the time he meets Jo). This definitely factors into how Dean approaches the subject in 1.01, though I don't think it factors into later moments.

Second, Dean is the heart character, and as the heart character, he feels a responsibility to protect people. When he tells Sam in the pilot "You have a responsibility", I think what Dean means is "saving people, hunting things, the family business". It isn't revenge that they have a responsibility toward (Dean will be the one to say he hopes they never find the demon if it means Sam or John killing themselves to end it (1.22) but that from Dean's perspective, Dean's knowledge of what's out there and his proficiency at the job gives him a moral obligation to try and save people in harms way. On the other hand, I don't think Sam feels this way—at least not nearly so strongly. Sam's approach to hunting has always been more family focused imo. Both brothers hunt as a means of coping to an extent, but more largely, Dean hunts because he feels deeply for others and wants—and even feels a duty to—protect people. Sam hunts because hunting makes him feel close to his family and makes him feel known, and because it is where he feels he can be himself (ex: 4.17). More succinctly—for Dean, the order goes, "Saving people, hunting things, the family business" and for Sam, the order goes, "The family business, saving people, hunting things" I think. This difference in motivations occasionally creates interesting tension on the hunt, but it is also creates confusion when Sam has left hunting pre-series, and again in season 8.

SAM: Look, it wasn't like I was... just oblivious. I mean, I read the paper every day. I saw the weird stories… the kind of stuff we used to chase. DEAN: And you said what? "Not my problem"? SAM: Yes. And you know what? The world went on.

8.01 "We Need To Talk About Kevin"

Dean doesn't understand this. He can't wrap his head around it because Dean doesn't think this way, and I'm not sure Dean ever gets exactly why Sam is driven to hunt. He doesn't really get the strength of the family connection for Sam... and Dean has reason not to, because from the outside looking in, Sam cutting Dean out of his life every time he decides he doesn't want to hunt anymore sounds like he doesn't actually care about Dean that much deep down... or at all. So how on earth could Sam's interest in and love for hunting be connected to caring about his brother DEAN???

That brings me to the third reason for some of this occasional hurt from Dean, which is that you're right about Sam (and then Dean in turn) associating normal life with cutting Dean off, because that's what Sam does. Any time Sam goes after a normal life, there seems to be no room for contact with Dean in it. When Sam goes to school, even though his fight was with John, it's implied that he wouldn't take Dean's calls which is why Dean showed up in person (1.01).

NOTE: This period is a little tricky, because the script was supposed to say they hadn't spoken since Sam left at 18, but what accidentally made it into the show is that they may have been in contact for the first two years. The two years wouldn't make things much better though, because with Dean's dialogue "You know, in almost two years I've never bothered you, never asked you for a thing." It still seems like Sam is the one who cut ties.

In 1.16 "Shadow", when Dean brings up wanting to stay together and "be a family again" even after the business with the demon is concluded, Sam makes it clear he's returning to school—which is perfectly fine. However, buried within this conversation is the implication that Dean doesn't want to lose contact with Sam again, and Sam doesn't give any assurances about calling or staying in contact because... he plans to cut Dean off again, even while telling Dean he loves him.

"Dean, we are a family. I’d do anything for you. But things will never be the way they were before. [...] I don’t want them to be. I'm not gonna live this life forever. Dean, when this is all over, you’re gonna have to let me go my own way."

Dean looks at this and goes "?????" because how can Sam talk about how much he cares for Dean and then in the same breath, essentially say he doesn't want to see him anymore after this? That makes no sense... right? And the self-hating part of Dean who believes Meg's manipulative framing in 1.16 about him dragging Sam everywhere even though Sam has repeatedly been the race horse raring for revenge and getting angry when Dean can't pull leads on John or the demon out of his ass thinks maybe he IS somehow responsible for every horrible thing that has happened to Sam and how Sam's life is now. And Dean's insecurities are reinforced too because Sam has thrown it in his face that it's his fault in moments where he was angry and felt a loss of control. So Dean doesn't understand how hunting is actually positively connected to family and him for Sam, and Sam doesn't understand how Dean doesn't understand and doesn't know how to reassure him (5.16), and that's how we get Dean unloading his insecurities about Sam not loving him in 4.22 (to Bobby) and 5.16 (to Sam). In both discussions, Dean's lack of belief in Sam's care for him is closely connected to Sam's desire for normality and how Dean felt tossed away like garbage and like his efforts were never enough. I talk about the dialogue in 4.22 more in depth here (added context of Sam calling Dean weak for his trauma and strangling Dean near unconscious matters lmao). In 5.16, Zachariah (imo) repeatedly pushes the brothers toward Sam's memories of normality and being away from Dean as part of his psychological ploy, and it works even though Sam's strongly stated lack of interest in normality is (arguably) at its zenith (4.08, 4.19, 5.12) because the brothers relationship is so weak from season 4. If we didn't already get it, we as viewers realize Sam loves his brother very much and has many happy memories with him despite appearances in 5.22 when happy memories with Dean are what pulls Sam from Lucifer's control.

Another important episode here in regards to Dean’s perceptions of Sam's feelings versus how Sam actually sees Dean is 2.20 "What Is And What Should Never Be". There's a variety of things to be said about how in Dean's dream, he envisions himself as someone his family would look down upon even in a paradise scenario. However, one of the bits we get from the whole dream is that Dean believes that in normal life scenario, Sam wouldn't want to be around him. Dean envisions himself as kind of a terrible person (and as usual, he is being really ugly about himself in a way that isn't at all warranted), but undoubtably, there's also a classist stench to the scenario—Dean the blue collar worker, Sam the hot shot lawyer who looks down his nose at Dean. I don't doubt that deep down, Dean kind of believes the real Sam sees himself as upwardly mobile and Dean as beneath him. One of the ways Dean potentially forms that conclusion is how Sam treats him over money early in the series. That said, the REAL Sam is surprised by their lack of connection in Dean's "paradise". When Dean suggests that without hunting, they never would have connected, Sam makes it clear that he's glad they have.

But yeah! Those scenes in 4.22 and 5.16 aren't even about Sam wanting to be normal—they're about how Dean feels discarded every time Sam goes after normal (and it happens again in 8.01).

Lastly, Dean's also dealing with jealousy in a couple of these moments. Before we ever met him, Dean had his own wistful desires for normal (9.07, 1.06, 1.13). Safety and a home and normality were things he felt he couldn't ever really have (this also comes post-breakup with Cassie). Even in 8.10, when Dean tells Sam to get back with Amelia if he can, he adds,

And, you know, maybe I'm a little bit jealous. I could never separate myself from the job like you could.

I think this line leads directly back to Dean as the heart character who has extreme difficulty with the concept of burying his head in the sand—something Sam was able to do easily (like... too easily RE: Kevin). I think Dean kind of judges Sam for doing that, but at the same time, Dean also knows he has an overactive sense of responsibility—he just can't shake it despite knowing that (2.20, 5.11, 7.04). So he envies that Sam can even if he thinks Sam leans too far the other direction sometimes.

I also don't think this bit from Shifter!Dean in 1.06 was too off:

You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you? [...] See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me.

I think coupled with that jealousy in 1.01, we also see Dean's resentment, because he sacrificed everything for their family. He sacrificed his childhood to take care of his father who was a mess, and play mother and father to his brother, and he had a gun in his hand meant to kill before he was even 10, and Dean resents all of this. Dean was made to be the responsible one when he was just a child out of necessity, and John (someone Dean repeatedly calls a deadbeat in season 5) took advantage and then discarded him (a part of Dean does know he deserves better), and Sam cut Dean out of his life the moment he was no longer of use. It isn't just that Sam doesn't feel the weight of the burdens Dean was made to shoulder—Sam doesn't even seem to realize they exist, and Dean is resentful. He wants someone in his family besides him to shoulder some of the family responsibilities Dean has spent so long carrying alone. His feelings are misdirected toward Sam in 1.01 in that regard, but they're also very human.

Even so, Dean's love supersedes jealousy and resentment. We see this clearly in 1.18 "Something Wicked", which is all about Dean's childhood being stolen and him being burdened with responsibilities that were too big and blamed for people dying when he was just a child and it wasn't his fault, but at the end of the episode, Dean doesn't wish innocence for himself—he wishes it for Sam. Even though the episode is all about Dean's memory of his own trauma. And in 2.20, in his "paradise" dream, Sam gets to be normal, and he and Sam don't even get along, and Dean doesn't care—he's just over the moon that his brother gets to live a normal life.

[bottleblondefeelingconned]

Thinking about og Rudbeckia again. Was Freya a kind person originally, or was snake like the one we know. Was og!Ruby bullied and harassed everyday too, with Freya pulling conniving tricks to isolate the original from everyone? Was the original Ruby more angry, more resentful of everything? Everyone expected her to act like a Borgia, did anyone believe in her at all?

Did she try to be good and kind, but Izek never listened to her like he does now in the current timeline? We know he loved her, but could the original Ruby ever really trust that love? She's used to being hit by the hand that also feeds her.

The original Ruby loved Izek, but didn't trust him. The original Izek loved Ruby, but didn't trust her.

If she can't be as good as the Omertas, if nothing she does will ever make her good in their eyes, why not embrace the ruthlessness and cruelty of the Borgias? If she fundamentally feels like she will never be embraced by heaven, why not willingly walk into hell? Absolution, salvation and redemption never came to her. Did she believe that Cesare robbed her of her purity? That because of his touches she was fundamentally damned, while he still got to be holy? The God she worships has rejected her, abandoned her. Did the crosses she wore burn her skin that she felt was tainted? Did the gazes from the holy statues and paintings felt all-too-knowing?

Ruby was damned and dirty, and Izek was good and moral. As much as she loved him, she must have hated him too. He could have saved her but he never tried too. How disgusting did she feel next to him, while he shined with goodness he never offered to her. He couldn't save her but he couldn't let her go. A man too much like his father.

Did she like Ellen? Were they friends? Ruby says she killed her, but was she telling the truth? Did she mourn her death? Or did she feel inferior? The beloved daughter and sister beloved by the dukedom, her position of the lady of the house stolen by a disgusting Borgia. Was Ellen frightened of her, the madness and despair in Ruby's eyes all too familiar of her mother's? Ellen would have always taken Freya's side, did she help her usurp Ruby's position? Did Ruby know Ellen could only be a false ally, their positions and personalities too different to be anything but threatening to the other?

We don't know anything about her either. She's only been a dream, a mirage.

Her dress is bright red and low cut. Did she twist Cesare's sin into herself? "I'm someone so desirable I can even tempt the son of the Pope." Would she rather be villain then victim? Someone that can even make holy men sin, so don't treat her lightly. The more she tried to protect herself, the more isolated she became.

Until the end, there wasn't a single person on her side.

[nobody-nexus]

TADC Obsession AU

So yes I finally made this a whole ass AU- which is why I haven't posted art for a hot second. The idea of this honestly kinda fucked up AU is that Ragatha is the protagonist HOWEVER we see the story through the eyes of Pomni (aka it's a Second POV)

Let's meet the gang ^^

Amanda, or Ragatha, is a seamstress who has decided to move back into town in order to start anew with her dress making business. She was actually a little surprised to see a new face within the town

Eliza, or Pomni, is the new butcher for the town. Well 'new' for Amanda. In reality, she's been there for a few years now. And seeing that seamstress.... it was love at first sight for the deranged woman

Jackson, or Jax, is the younger brother of Amanda and a complete loser. He can't seem to keep a job to save his life and lives in a small but cheap ass apartment. Amanda is... slightly disappointed in him

Grace, or Gangle, is a librarian for the town. She's a bit of a germaphobe due to being a sickly kid, but thankfully she keeps gloves and face masks in her library as well as medkits all about

Zoe, or Zooble, is the owner of the tattoo parlor in the town. They were the first to be suspicious of Pomni, and therefore always warns people not to trust her. But, that won't stop everyone from doing so

Cesar, or Kinger, is a sad soul. Only leaving his house for work and to go shopping, he's hardly seen out of his house. Ever since Quinn, his wife, had gone missing- he's not had the best time recovering

Caine is the CEO of one of the most well-known meat production sites in the United States. He stays in the small town, finding it very quant, and it had the benefit of having his favorite customer!

Marina, or Moon, is Caine's wife and a detective for the local police force. Although she's incredible at her job, she seems to have run into a road block with a list of seemingly unrelated murders....

Summer, or Sun, is the older sister of Marina and a schoolteacher for the town. She's a kind soul who is trying to make sure no one worries, but isn't afraid to be blunt with others. In the middle of the madness

Bubble is, to put it simply, Caine and Marina's pet dog. Nothing more, nothing less (like actually I just wanted to draw Bubble as a dog)

Gabriella, or The Gloink Queen, is the manager of a local strip club known as 'The Gloink Cave'. Despite her business, and a very commanding personality, she's seen as a potential suspect for it all

Ivy, or The Influencer, is the local hermit of the town. Hardly leaves her apartment and is a local dark web and black-market salesman! She's a criminal with a fanbase. And Amanda's deranged cousin

I have a lot of this AU, and it's been infecting my brain as of recent, so much so that... well, I made reference sheets for ALL of the characters. Hope you like it! If you have any questions, my inbox is nice and open! So, ask away

[lucreziaces]

i think something just fell into place in my brain but idk how to make it make sense to anyone else, but i’m gonna try??

basically cesare spends two seasons trying his damn hardest to protect lucrezia’s innocence. first in s1 by trying to convince his father she's too young for marriage and then, by putting her to bed on her wedding night and telling giovanni sforza she’s young and it’s been a long day or whatever. and then, in s2, when she tells him she would happily kill tonight he reminds her that her killing juan would deeply upset their father and he then takes the task upon himself instead. then s3 comes along and she is (on more than one occasion) visibly upset by how things are going with alfonso, they’re not going as she hoped, he’s not a man she could fall in love with, he’s not a man that will ever cherish her and offer his life and soul to protect her/her honor/the things that matter most to her, etc.. and so, she turns to cesare, ready to give into what’s been brewing between them for YEARS. meanwhile cesare himself spends pretty much all of "siblings" struggling not to give into it because of the thought he’d be corrupting her soul. but despite his hesitation, he slips up and allows them to give into their feelings, crossing a line he feels never should've been crossed. then, he spends the rest of the season feeling ashamed because he believes he's damned her and so he tries his best to avoid giving into her again. anyway, i believe between this, having killed his own brother for power (and for lucrezia—both on her behalf and to protect her innocence, but mostly, let's be real, for power), and gaining his father’s trust is why he begins to shift into the monster that he’s come to be known as. it’s like these three things combined make something in his brain snap, turning him colder, and in turn making him more calculating and power hungry until he's the one forcing lucrezia to aid him in killing her own husband, therefore, committing the final act of corruption of her soul, bringing her down with him. twisted, dark, and complicated. my roman empire indeed.

[hello-nichya-here]

Do you like any of Lucrezia and Cesare's other love interests or do you only ship them with each other?

As usual, I gotta turn what could be a simple answer into an unnecessarily long rant.

All of Lucrezia's boring love interests and why I don't truly ship her with any of them

Okay, so despite the title, I don't think ALL of her love interests are boring... to the same degree. All of them made me roll my eyes and wish for their scenes to be over faster at some point, but some far less than others, and most of them actually had an impact on Lucrezia's growth as a character.

Djem

He was her first (non-incestuous) love. He is a painfully naive guy, and each time he and Lucrezia were being flirty it felt more like two children playing house - yes, even when he's talking about men being allowed to have as many women as they want, and the different rules for beating a wife VS beating a concubine.

He's trapped in a fantasy of having a peaceful, good life when he gets to Rome - no political intrigues, no one being murdered horribly, no one being two-faced. He's basically Lucrezia's prince charming. A handsome young man from a mysterious, foreign land, being all kind and sweet and obviously into her - with intentions so pure they never even kiss.

But his role in the story is literally to die by the hands of the people he now trusted wanted to be his family, so the Borgias could have more money. He's more of a means to an end than he is a character.

His death represents the first major confirmation that Lucrezia's life (and romances) will be filled with sorrow, and that will kill whatever innocence she once had, and while that's fine foreshadowing, it doesn't really make me wish he had lived longer and actually had a relationship with Lucrezia. And more importantly, it sets up the prescedent for Lucrezia to only go for men that are SUPER docile - to the point that's pretty much their only personality trait.

Paolo

While Lucrezia is being abused by her husband, Paolo is there for comfort her, give her a reason to survive, help her injure her husband greatly so he's confined to a bed and unable to harm her, and, yes, he is the one to first show her what a proper romance and consensual sex is like.

Lucrezia likes him because he's sweet and innocent, much like she once was, and she wants to experience that again through him - and those traits are what make her feel he's not a threat to her like her husband. And again, while that's fine as a theme in the narrative, it makes him just a slight variation of Djem's character - or rather of Lucrezia's need for her love interest not to have a spine, so she doesn't have to wonder if she'll one day be abused again. I pity them, but I don't want them together.

To make matters worse, because Paolo is a nobody in the grand scheme of things, he and Lucrezia could never be together - and not only is she aware of it, she made her peace with it, even if she wishes things were different. That's why she tells him never to return to Rome, meaning he'd never see her or their son again, for the sake of his survival - and then he is murdered anyway because Lucrezia's whole tragedy as a character is "Innocence inevitably dies" and since she only ever chooses generic innocent men as lovers, she's basically setting herself up for failure in each new romance.

Raffaello (And Calvino)

If Djem was the representation of Lucrezia's innocence while it still existed in her, and Paolo was her grieving it, Raffaello is the representation that she is a Borgia and will do as she pleases - and that her bad taste in men reached a new low that I don't think could ever be out-matched.

The guy is just boring, to the point that I didn't even remember his name. He's the generic artistic man that Lucrezia is actively lying to just to get in his pants - and the only reason she even wants to have an affair with him in the first place is because she's both deliberately trying to sabotage her father's plan to marry her off again. That's why she wants the unimportant brother instead of the relevant one, Calvino, who is there just so she has an excuse to be close to the one she's into AND because she liked her mom's idea of just having both brothers for herself just to prove she can - and then cast them aside once she's had her fun and thrill is gone.

These "relationships" are just so Lucrezia can experience being spoiled and demanding something she knows she can't have, and doesn't even truly want or need, solely because she was told "No, you can't have this."

It really is no wonder she doesn't really care when both brothers leave. The engagement and affair were never truly about them, but about Lucrezia saying "Screw you, dad, you're not selling me out to the first gross man you find!"

Alfonso

I'd say Alfonso was the one that was the closest to actually working as romantic pair for Lucrezia. He's personality is almost identical to the the copy-paste of all her love interests and he can be one hell of a pushover, but there's a playfulness to their early interactions, they have genuinely good chemistry on scene in which they nearly consumate their marriage, and he's HIGHLY amusing when he gets sick of being controled (and cucked) and just becomes a mess of a person ruining Cesare's day - it was stupid and got him killed, but he earned lots of extra points just by being the only one of Lucrezia's love interests who looked the Borgias in the face and told them to just man up and get rid of him already instead of hiding behind political schemes and manipulation.

But now matter how much he genuinely cared for Lucrezia and how sweet he could be, and how she clearly trusted him, his devotion would just never hold a candle to Cesare's, and simply lacked that Borgia ambition and ferocity that Lucrezia needed to truly be satisfied in a relationship.

That's why in season 2 she agrees when Cesare says she finally has a good man, yet in season three she reminds him that she could be married a thousand times and it'd always be the wrong husband, because she doesn't just want good - she wants her brother, because only a Borgia can truly love a Borgia.

Okay, now that we're done with Lucrezia's boy-toys, lets talk about Cesare's side-chicks.

The woman that exists solely to be stalked by Cesare

Ursula, Ursula... I never liked her. At all.

She didn't really do anything that made me see her as a bad or unlikeable person - but the whole point of her is that, from Cesare's point of view, she's not really a person, she's the object of his "affection" (unhinged obsession).

In his head, he's the brave, bold hero that killed the monster that tormented her, and was then rewarded with her undying love and, of course, sex - what he desperately wishes he could have done when Lucrezia was forced to get married to a man that would end up abusing her, and will be far away, where Cesare cannot protect her. It's no surprise that Ursula was introduced during said wedding.

From her point of view though, she's a woman who was trapped in a bad marriage to an awful man, thought she had found an honrable savior that was risking his own life out of love for her, only to then realize that he was actually a manipulative, violent, frightening monster that told her pretty lies and half-truths to seduce her and then murdered her (admitedly not innocent) husband to make sure nothing would stand on his way.

When she ends the relationship and literally becomes a nun to attone for her sin of adultery/being the reason her husband died, Cesare refuses to accept it. He corners, harasses, and even manhandles her. He never full on forces himself onto her, but there's nothing about her behavior that could suggest his attempts of courtship/reconciliation are in anyway wanted. She's terrified of him, ashamed of their affair, and wants him to leave her alone. She says as much, repeatedly - sometimes with tears in her face, cowering before him like she's bracing herself for a violent beating, full on sexual assault, or even for Cesare to just slit her throat.

Then, she dies horribly when an army attacks the nunnery she's at, raping and killing her. Cesare avenges her... and that's it. He never thinks of her again, and we never find out anything about her other than "She was constantly being victimized by bad men."

I feel sorry for her, but I don't really connect with her character because she didn't have any, and I REALLY don't like how Cesare acted towards her. All the selfishness, entitlement and downright cruelty that he would rather die than inflict upon Lucrezia he unleashed upon Ursula without a second thought - and like I said, she was not into it in the slightest, so this couldn't even be turned into a "dark, unhealthy, dysfunctional, terrying romance", at least for me.

There's simply nothing to like here.

Cesare's wife and how she was almost interesting

Charlotte had potential to be a cool character. She's clever and just looking out for herself, but she's not cruel or all that ambitious. She and Cesare clearly liked each other and enjoyed sleeping together, and she appreciates that he is making an effort - but like Cesare said, love is not an issue between them because they both know it won't happen and neither of them expects or even wants it from the other.

She's Cesare's wife due to convenience. It's a mutually benefitial agreement, not a marriage in the romantic sense. It's an interesting dynamic that can be functional, but doesn't really make me root for them because it deliberately lacks the main part of romance.

And unfortunately, she shows up in one episode, gets a passing mention some time later, and that's it. She exists to give Cesare the political claim he wanted, nothing more. He can enjoy her company when she's around, but when they're apart from each other he seems to completely forget she existed - and even though I remembered the character, I did not remember the name, because she's simply not that important.

Catherina Sforza and why she's the only one I actually like

Catherina Sforza is VERY different from all the other temporary love interests above for the simple fact that she is a fully actualized character that has a role in the story besides being just another temporarely delay to the incest couple everyone is rooting for.

She's cunning, proud, manipulative and ambitious - much like the Borgias. She and Cesare have a gruding respect/admiration for each other, and her seduction of him is both a ceasefire and her distracting him from his goals, trapping him in her little game for her own amusement, getting the upper hand on him... and then also submiting to him in bed. They're all about that power-play/struggle.

It's entertraining and it's HOT, and in some alternate universe where Lucrezia didn't exist, I could see Cesare and Catherina's short-lived fling becoming a proper affair that would last months or even years - before it'd inevitably end with one of them poisoning the other that is.

So yeah, I really like this ship, even if it can never have the literal soulmate kind of love Cesare and Lucrezia had.

[gingersp1ce547]

Thiago was not expecting to be dad. Not now, nor anytime in the future. He knew how he was, and the life he led. Neither of which were suited for parenthood even though since his own father passed the idea of what kind of one he would be refused to leave his head.

Would he be able to give them half as good as a childhood as the one his father gave him? Would he leave them grieving and wondering how much of their father they knew like he did?

Should someone that shot a 15 year old in the foot be trusted with a child at all?

In the end these questions didn’t matter. Because he had a kid now and she was a sentient egg.

Fortunately, his work on the island was much less dangerous than it was back in brazil. So he could bring hope with him on his daily rounds. She seemed to like it a lot, which was a good thing because he wasn’t sure what he would do with her if she didnt other than leave her in the house with cesar but she spent more than enough time with the hacker already.

Before they had learned what liz had been up to and saved hope, thiago had been spending a lot of time with one badboyhalo. After he had saved dapper bad insisted on giving him a gift, which ended up being a whole thing of enchanted gear. He took some of it but he kept a couple pieces of his old set that liz and cesar had enchanted on, and the rest in an unsorted chest somewhere in his room like everything else he couldn’t get rid of.

He kept hanging around bad after that. Mostly because he was a real good source of information on pretty much everything happening on the island, but also because something he said to Thiago once wouldn’t seem to leave his mind.

Bad was asking about what thiago did before the island, around a month into their stay here they decided it would be ok to tell people the truth as long as they didn’t go into too much detail, so he did. Only for bad to reply “why would somebody marked by death want to fight her creatures?”

“What?”

Bad tiled his head like some kind of owl. His pure white eyes staring through thiago from under his hood. “Or at least i think it’s death. Maybe not our goddess but something similar.”

He looked thiago up and down once more. “Do you not feel it?”

The urge to throw off his hoodie and run to the nearest mirror to double check that the symbol of that fucking place was still gone was tempting. But thiago knew he didnt need it. He knew what it was like for his hand to not be his hand and this wasn’t it.

He shook his head, forcing his tongue to move from where it had glued itself to the top of his mouth, “No.”

Bad made a noise of curiosity in response but moved on. Thiago wasn’t sure if it was out of noticing his discomfort or something else entirely but he thanked the change of pace.

Unfortunately, the fact that he even got that bit of information in the first place meant he needed to go back and continue to prod for more

So far hed gotten out of bad that only the rest of team was “marked” like this. Some clearly were by an entity like thiago, cesar and arthur (bad upset about blood), but with joui and liz it was unclear. Same went for the mark itself, which bad described as almost being fuzzy. Like fog was obscuring his vision of it.

He was pretty sure that this was all bad knew, but bad was bad and liked to be a tricky little shit. One of his coworkers once wrote an article just for fun about creatures from folklore across the world. He was bored on his break and read it which was a good thing because he was not unconvinced that bad wasnt some sort of Irish fae creature. It definitely wouldn’t be the strangest thing a person was on the island (that was etoiles).

Even if bad didnt know anything else about their team, he definitely knew a lot about what happened on island, Especially when it came to politics, or as liz liked to call it, a telenovela pretending to be politics. Which was a blessing in disguise as it made writing about it much less boring on thiago’s part.

Hope was with him today since her quests had already been completed for the week. They bounced across the map as he handed out the latest information about the islands happenings as well as gathered it.

Cellbit and roier were off being sickeningly romantic somewhere and hope asked very politely if she could go say hi to him. Not that thiago would ever say to no to something asked as sweetly as that, he told her yes since Cellbit was technically also her dad even if it was only like 5% since he helped in the investigation to find her.

They then headed to pierre’s to restock on some potions, only to find him and maximus… maybe arguing? Thiago wasnt really sure but it could have also been flirting, or manipulation. It could go many many different ways with those two and honestly even though it was his job to know, thiago didnt wanna know. Neither did he want hope to have to witness it. So he quickly sweeped her up into his arms and turned back around to the teleporter.

She gave him a look of silent curiosity but didn’t ask. He was thankful for it today as opposed to usual worriedness. She had been alone in one spot for so long, and had so much curiosity about the world. Thaigo (and the rest for the team) wanted her to be cautious of the what she was getting into yes, but he also wanted her to feel safe enough to be able to run up to a flower she liked without asking if it was ok first.

Deciding to foster her curiosity at the cost of having to try and find a child friendly way to explain whatever the fuck pierre and max had going on, he told her that they were having a private conversation that he didnt want to interrupt. Hope, who knew all about private conversations because of her secretive ass parents, nodded seriously at this and thaigo took a mental note to explain to her at some point that not all private conversations were matters of life and death.

Next they headed to bad’s, who thaigo knew had a good stock of potions he wouldn’t mind missing if it meant keeping an egg safe. He wasnt there and a look at the map told him he was off on some adventure with dapper most likely in search of creature that the kid wanted to tame.

There was a couple other people awake but he really didnt feel like crossing thousands of blocks to go and find them, so instead the two wandered about spawn. Hope taking the lead and investigating the different buildings up close. She already knew at this point that her pais and mae where not the people to ask about how crafting materials worked and seemed happy just to silently investigate.

In the past he would have expected it to be a good break from taking care of a kid, a time to collect his thoughts. Instead he just watched her and his heart felt warm. No thoughts of the what he was gonna write about next, or how everyone back in brazil was doing drifted through his head. All he could focus on was the way hope would walk up to block, completely transfixed by it, bend down to get a look at it better, maybe tilt her head or touch it lightly before moving on to the next one.

Or at least it was all he could focus on till a sound caught his attention. Mentally, he praised the fact that his still functioning ear worked perfectly if not better than that before turning to look in the direction of the sound. In it’s place he saw “charlie” slimecicle teleporting off somewhere.

This was odd for a couple of reasons. The first being that slime did not wake up often. The second was that when he did he usually hanged around big groups of people and the third was that thiago wasnt sure where he got enough exp to teleport in the first place.

Ok, maybe that last one was a stretch but still. Call it investogators intuition or whatever you want but there was something odd happening here and thaigo wanted to know what.

A light tug on his pants brought him out of his head. He read hope’s sign pai, who was that?

“He’s another islander my dear” he replied

She broke the sign before placing down another, Where is he going?

“Most likely home”

Hope stared at him. It was a stare she most definitely learned from cesar and liz because it screamed bullshit

“He really could be going home,” hope’s stare persisted in intensity “buuuuuuuuut your instinct is right. Theres something fishy about this. I feel it too”

Are you gonna go check? she didnt have to write the and can i come for thiago to know she was thinking it.

“Yep. Do you wanna go teleport to pai cellbits and go hang out with him and tio roier while i do?”

I can go there if you want.

He frowned. A sentence like that was the hope equivalent of saying no. She was just too afraid to say that was what she actually wanted.

Still. There was a possibility, however slim, that whatever awaited them on the other side of that waystone was dangerous. If something ever happened to her and thiago knew he could have prevented it he wasnt sure what he would do with himself outside of that it wasn’t good.

He had a enough innocent peoples blood on his hands already, but to have a child’s?

You don’t know if there were any children in the holy cradle, a voice whispered. It swirled around his ears and even though the non-functioning one was well non-functioning, he swore he could almost hear in it and yet you burned them all the same.

Now wasn’t the time for thoughts like this. Hope was still waiting for a reply and who knew what slime was doing.

“You can come with if you promise you’ll teleport away when i tell you too”

Hope beamed up at him nodding vigorously before placing a sign down quickly writing I promise! And then beginning to run over to the waystone excitedly.

“Woah woah woah slow down my dear!” He called out after her. Once he caught up he added “let me go first and hold my hand the whole time.”

Trying to contain her excitement hope gave one strong nod. It seemed to be an attempt at showing she was serious.

Smiling at this and taking her hand into his, thiago and hope teleported to charlie’s base

There wasn’t much there outside of a small shack which thiago assumed was Charlie’s house. The two investigating the outside area a bit before thiago used his still functioning ear to listen to the door. After hearing nothing inside, the two carefully proceeded to enter the building with thiago leading the way.

He didnt notice anything odd at first glance until hope gently tugged his hand in the direction of something, a small opening made of dirt.

Traveling into it, they found a large cavern filled with various plants and some sort of train system. Ignoring it, thiago and hope stealthily made their way down till they could see charlie standing in front of what seemed to be. a house. Only, he wasn’t alone.

There was an egg with him. One that thiago hadn’t seen before.

Grabbing a sign of hopes he had stored away he wrote out do you know them? Before breaking it and passing the back sign to hope.

No, Was the response he got. So not another test subject egg, which meant considering how Charlie was treating this egg (with warmth and excitement), they were most likely Charlie’s egg.

Only issue was that Charlie’s egg, juanaflippa if thiago remembered right, had died months ago.

“Stay right here,” thiago whispered to hope before giving a light kiss to her head and letting go of her hand. “I’ll be right back.”

Hope nodded and stayed in her spot as thiago got closer and focused his eyes on the outline of this egg. It was times like this that he missed the range of his gun but sword and shield would have to do.

The dead don’t come back. Thiago had known this as fact since the day he learned about the “airplane crash.” But it wasn’t till he joined the order that he learned the second half of the statement.

The dead don’t come back, so when they do. It’s not them anymore. Whether that meant they were a hallucination or a creature, thiago wasn’t sure. What he was sure of was the fact that he wouldn’t let slime be killed by whatever was pretending to wear his child’s face.

Thiago jumped down ready to strike but just as he did, the egg ran back into the house with Charlie sprinting after them, leaving thiago’s sword stuck in the ground. Cursing, he ran after them, only to see the egg disappear into specks of code as Charlie cried out for it.

Code meant code monsters. Thiago was not prepared for code monsters, he was prepared for paranormal bullshit even though none had ever appeared on this island before.

Regardless, he needed to write all of this down while it was still fresh on his mind. It didn’t matter if this wasn’t paranormal, it was still dangerous even if that danger had momentarily passed.

So, thiago turned and quietly walked out the house, back to hope and then the two teleported back home.

Pai, hope wrote upon arriving what was that?

Thiago bite his lip. God what he wouldn’t give for a cigarette right now.

“We’ll figure it out.” He crouched down to her level “So for now let’s not worry about it. Okay my dear?”

Worry crossed over hope’s face for a split second, and it landed sharp like a stab in thiago’s chest.

“This scar?” Arnaldo said pointing at a long scar that wrapped around his upper arm. Usually it was hidden by long sleeve shirts but he had rolled those up to be able to kneed the dough of the bread he was making, “It’s just from a stunt that i messed up once. Nothing to worry about my dear”

Thiago took a deep breath in. No nicotine hit his lungs but the oxygen worked just fine. “How about this? I’ll let you know everything new i learn about this case. After all i need an expert on eggs, and who’s a better expert than the best egg on the island?”

Hope looked down at her feet bashfully, but with a glow of praise, “you promise?”

Extending out his pinky finger, thiago smiled gently, “of course my dear.”

Hope wrapped her own around it, and the promise was sealed.

[trashyswitch]

'Gargalesis'

The Intruder has many questions for Archangel Gabriel...and he is not in the mood to be undermined. So Archangel Gabriel tells the Intruder of a strange weakness that is only ever used to make Intruders comply...but the spilling of this secret comes with dire consequences.

This fanfic will have implications of suicide and murder. It is only in the beginning, and it eventually gets thrown aside. So, please be mindful as you read. Next, this fanfiction includes a whole bunch of big words you may not know. Thesaurus was my best friend while making this fanfic, as I wanted to show the characters as much more 'abstract' and 'complicated'. So if you find this fanfic really hard to read, that's okay. It's somewhat supposed to be. Make sure you have your dictionary (and your biblical knowledge) out for this one. You'll need it.

This fanfic was suggested by two anonymous users on Tumblr. I hope you enjoy! This one was incredibly interesting to write. Worth the countless hours I spent on it.

The Intruder showed itself to Archangel Gabriel, showing no fear. Gabriel stared at the intruder with a skin-crawling smile. The unspeakable appeared to be unphased by the Doppelgänger’s appearance, which was abnormally stretched and bug-eyed. 

Though the Intruder knew Gabriel was stronger than it, the Intruder held itself up with a sense of pride. “Hello, Gabriel.” He greeted. 

“Intruder…” Gabriel said. “We meet again. Are you enjoying yourself, toying with the victim?” Gabriel asked him.

“It has been a treat…it is a shame my fun was cut short so soon.” Intruder muttered. 

“Humans are blind to the suffering of others. It will take ages for the victim to be found.” Gabriel added. 

The intruder looked around at the mass panic that filled the town of Mandela County. “The people are growing weary…The victims are scared of their own shadow…People are dying…Children are traumatized by the intruder on the television…The government has foolishly put a ban on televisions and devices…though we both know that will never stop us…” The intruder mentioned to Archangel Gabriel. “The police are chasing their own tails, unable to solve the mystery of the missing children and the endless suicides…It is a fascinating turn of events.” The intruder told Gabriel. 

“I see…You have done well thus far, 6.” Archangel Gabriel told it. 

“Must we do anything more with Cesar?” The intruder asked. 

“No…We must wait until Adam arrives at the stranger's home with Jonah.” Gabriel told him. “We have tricked Adam and Jonah into going to the woman’s house for a few nights. That will give us plenty of time for you to make yourself known to Adam.” Gabriel told him. 

The intruder thought for a moment. “You desire to end all of humanity…and yet, you delay our process too often…Must you make us ceaselessly wait for the perfect moment?” The intruder asked. 

“Yes…Patience is the key to true destruction. With patience comes unpredictability…and with unpredictability comes our success.” Gabriel told him. “Why must you ask? Are you unable to hold on much longer?” Gabriel asked. 

“The alternates are tiresome and disquieted by your games.” The intruder told them. 

“What about you? Are you perturbed as well?” Gabriel asked. 

“Indeed.” The intruder replied. “I fail to see how much destruction we are truly doing to humanity. All these centuries of patience, and only now do we see significant progress.” The intruder explained. 

“Do you lack trust in Satan himself?” Archangel Gabriel asked. 

The intruder looked at Gabriel with shock. “Never, my prince of darkness…I would never lose trust in my devoted leader.” The intruder replied. 

“Then you will prove yourself and do as I please. Or else…there will be considerable punishment.” Archangel Gabriel told it. 

The intruder nodded its head and looked down, refusing to argue with its leader any further. Archangel Gabriel has argued his point, and will refuse any more words on the subject. The Intruder called up its fellow doppelgängers and watched as Gabriel ordered them to visit more children and terrify more people. 

When the rest of the Doppelgängers were gone, the intruder flew to Archangel Gabriel in search of another question. “How do you simply recognize the perfect time to continue with your plans?” The intruder asked it. 

“You wish to know my secrets…” Gabriel smiled evilly. “Very well.” Gabriel looked towards the world. “There is no physical feeling for such understanding. What is required is to know the correct time. It is too complicated for you to understand.” Gabriel explained. “I know who I am working alongside. I know my enemy like I know my right hand.” Gabriel explained. “At the same time, I also know exactly who you are.” Gabriel turned to look at the intruder. “You are a follower…a lowly doppelgänger meant to complete the dirty work of this revolution.” Gabriel told it. 

The intruder narrowed its buggy eyes. “Just a lowly doppelgänger…is that all I am?” The intruder asked. 

“Hmm…You appear displeased by this truth. What would you call yourself?” Gabriel asked. 

“The facade…the bloodied hands behind the destruction of mankind.” The intruder replied. 

“Hm…While that does seem fitting…it makes my work in this ‘destruction’ seem unimportant.” Gabriel told the intruder. 

“You do not see your own importance…For you are the foreseer. The observer, if you will…The brain behind the destruction of humankind.” The intruder explained. “Though we have made your visions come true…without your wisdom, there would be no complete objective for us to focus on.” The intruder told Gabriel. “Your attempts to elucidate our differences, is merely inefficacious…pointless… or ineffective, if you will.” Gabriel told the intruder. “For there are many more distinctions that separate you and I.” He told the intruder. “Though you travel between the currents of technological gadgets…you lack aeronautics…or rather, flight.” Gabriel mentioned. “You also lack my staggering ability to make more alternates to accompany you and your associates.” Gabriel mentioned before summoning a brand new Type 3 alternate and sending it down to scare more humans down on earth. “You may have stolen the lives of over 3,426 children and created mass panic throughout the county of Mandela…but you have not come close to preventing the second coming of Christ.” Gabriel explained to him. 

The intruder frowned as it listened to Gabriel’s words. “You are no more powerful than the enemy itself. You are a mere speck in the hands of the enemy.” The intruder reminded Gabriel. “Excuse me?” Gabriel asked, flying closer to the intruder. 

“You may have succeeded in preventing the second coming of Christ…but you failed to prevent Noah from building the ark…and as a result…” The intruder lifted its head slightly to appear dominant as Gabriel stared it down. “Humanity has continued to live for several more millenia…keeping God’s plan in motion and forcing us to reconsider what lies ahead.” The intruder explained. 

“Are you scrutinizing your creator?” He asked, both surprised and angry with the intruder. 

The intruder showed Gabriel a toothy smile. “I am pointing out your failures thus far. How can your demons trust that you will not fail again?” The intruder asked. 

Gabriel looked the intruder up and down…before smirking in an almost evil fashion. “You fail to remember one little weakness I have provided all my creations…” Archangel Gabriel told it. 

“A weakness?” The intruder asked. 

“Have I never told you?” Gabriel asked. 

“Please don’t make me laugh. Humans have fought us for centuries…and yet all of them have failed. Therefore: I have no weakness.” The intruder muttered aloud. 

“Perhaps a little allusion is needed.” Gabriel offered before backing up slightly. “Reveal your weakness to me.” Gabriel called out into the air confidently. 

Suddenly, white lights without a source, began highlighting different spots on the intruder’s being. It highlighted spots on its abdomen, its neck, and even its feet. And it appeared that certain spots were a more dirty gray, while other spots were more bright white. This told Gabriel everything he needed to know. 

“What…” The intruder looked around at itself, confused. “What is this? Where is the illumination coming from?” The intruder asked, looking around for a source to the light and shadows on its being. 

Gabriel flew up to the intruder, and showed its white, glowing hands to him. “I suppose I failed to inform you…” Gabriel poked the right side of the intruder’s abdomen. “Of a weakness every doppelgänger has been cursed with…” He scratched two fingers on the abdomen, watching up at the intruder as its face morphed into surprise. “A weakness…that makes a doppelgänger exhibit the most wretched of all involuntary responses.” 

The intruder gasped and widened its eyes in shock. What in the- what is this?! Why does he feel a need to contort its body? And why are these convulsions followed up by…the sensation to…laugh? It’s hard to keep it in! The need to laugh is growing stronger! No! Stop that!

“Confused, 6?” Gabriel asked with a wide smile on its face. 

“No! Nohoho! Whahat ihis thihihis?!” The intruder asked, closing its eyes shut as it began to fail to hold the laughter in. 

“It is an involuntary response invented by Yahweh, to make humans laugh in pleasure. Though that was Yahweh’s intent when creating such a response, humans have often taken advantage of the involuntary response and used it in…not-so-pleasurable situations.” Gabriel told it. “Though he is my enemy, I do applaud Yahweh’s invention and found the inspiration to include this involuntary response in my creations.” Gabriel told the intruder. “You, however…are the first alternate to experience its true potential.” Gabriel told it. 

“HAhahahaha! Hahahahehehehe! Hahahaha!” The intruder laughed, wiggling around and holding its hand inches from Gabriel’s hand. 

“So tell me, 6: How does this feel?” Gabriel asked, before adding a third finger to the alternate’s abdomen. “HahahAHAHA! IHIHIT FEEEHEHEHEEELS STRAHAhahahange! HAhahahaha- IHIHI CAHAN’T STOP LAHAHAHAUGHIHIHING!” The intruder reacted. 

“Does the inability to control your laughter…bother you in any way?” Gabriel asked. 

“HAHAhahahaha- Ihihi- Ihihihihi dohon’t knohohohow! Hehehehahaha!” The intruder responded. “Ihi- I- I ca-cahan’t tahahalk lihike thihihihis-!” The intruder complained. 

“Oh 6, you are doing well. Do not attempt to stop the laughter. It will only disappoint me.” Gabriel told it. 

“Whahahahat ihihis ihit cahahahalled?” The intruder asked. 

“Oh! Well…Humans have given it many names. The Arabic people have called it دغدغة, while the Israelites have called it לְדַגדֵג…Germany has called it kitzeln, while traditional China has called it Sāoyǎng.” Gabriel explained before adding a 4th finger to the abdomen. 

“HahahaHAHAHA! NOHOHO! NOHOHOT ANOHOHOTHEHER!” The intruder yelled. 

“Though the most common name for this involuntary response in this world posterior to Yeshua…is in English…” Gabriel explained. “The first word is the medical term invented by G. Stanley Hall and Arthur Allin, which is ‘Gargalesis’.” Gabriel explained. “And the typical word, the word used most often in modern English, is ‘tickling’.” Gabriel told the intruder.

“Whahat aha strahahange wohohord.” The intruder reacted. 

“Yes, it really is a strange word. I will say, humans have come up with interesting ways of linking their words to their meaning.” Gabriel mentioned as he added another finger to the abdomen. 

“HahahaHAHAHA! NOHOHO! NOHOHOT ANOHOHOTHEHER!” The intruder yelled, doubling over, and blocking Gabriel from going anywhere else on his abdomen. 

Thankfully though, Gabriel didn’t need to stop tickling just yet…for the intruder had given him free access to another ticklish spot on its form: the neck. “I suppose I shall invite myself to go here next?” Gabriel asked as he started tickling its fingers against the side of the intruder’s neck. 

The intruder scrunched up its shoulders and started letting out rather mortifying giggles. “eeEEEHEHEHEEEEee! Ihihihit feheheels dihihifferehehehent!” The intruder reacted. 

“Tell me, oh wise intruder…Is this ticklish spot worse? Or better than the abdomen?” Gabriel asked it. 

“Hehehehe- Behehetteheherhrhrr! Ihihit feheheels fuhuhunnyhy.” The intruder told Gabriel. “Is that so?” Gabriel reacted, somewhat surprised to hear such a reaction. “I wonder if tickling this side at the same time…” Gabriel tickled both sides of the intruder’s neck, so it couldn’t cover up any spots. “-would make it any more unbearable.” Gabriel thought aloud. 

The intruder leaned its head back and let out higher-pitched giggles that quickly turned itself into lower-pitched cackles. “HAHAhahahaha! Ihihihi dohohon’t knohohohow!” The intruder reacted. 

“You don’t know?” Gabriel asked. “My, I can only imagine that this is the most unsure you have ever been in your entire existence!” Gabriel reacted, in almost a teasy tone. 

“Whyhyhyhy dohoho yohohou tahahalk lihike thahahat?!” The intruder asked. 

“Whatever do you mean?” Gabriel asked for clarification. 

“Yohohour tohohone ohof vohohohoice! Ihihit is frightenihihing mehehehe!” The intruder clarified. 

“Oh dear me…Have I failed to explain ‘teasing’ to you as well?” Gabriel asked. “How unfortunate…” Gabriel moved his fingers closer to the back of the intruder’s neck, tickling right where the human spine was supposed to be located. 

“Wahahait- BAHAHAHAHA! OHOHO NOHOHOHO!” The intruder grabbed at Gabriel’s hands desperately…only to find its hands were moving through Gabriel’s tickling fingers! “WHAHAHAT-?!” The intruder shouted. 

“I am afraid I do not have time to fully explain what teasing is.” Gabriel smirked evilly. “I am going to have to let you discover the true power of a ticklish tease on your own time.” Gabriel explained to it. 

“BUHUHUHUHUT-” The intruder squeaked. “IHIHIHIT’S MAHAHAKING ME BAHAHASHFUHUHULLL!” The intruder complained. 

“Yes, that is the point of a tease…to make a human, or an alternate, bashful and flustered.” Gabriel explained slightly. 

“IHIHIHIHI- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” The intruder cackled helplessly. 

“You are exceptionally loud.” Gabriel stopped his fingers. “Perhaps I should leave this ticklish spot alone?” Gabriel offered, tickling the spot a little extra so the intruder knew what he was talking about. 

“PLEHEHEHEASE DOHOHOHO! IHIHI CAHAHAN’T TAHAHAKE IHIT! PLEHEEEHEHEHEASE!” The intruder pleaded. 

“Oh? I see the intruder has begun to express remorse for its disrespectful actions.” Gabriel reacted.  

“YEHESSSS! IHIHI’M SORRYHYHY! IHI’M SOHOHOHORRYYY!” The intruder told Gabriel. 

“Oh, I see! An apology! What an interesting turn of events.” Gabriel teased. “Though I do accept your apology, I am curious as to how apologetic you really are.” Gabriel admitted. “Tell me…Do you regret messing with your superior?” Gabriel asked it. 

“YEHEHEHESS! IHIHI DOHOHOOOO!” The intruder responded. 

“Will you ever resume contradicting my actions in the future?” Gabriel asked it. 

“NONONOHOHO! IHIHI WOHON’T!” The intruder yelled. 

“Do you promise to comply with my demands?” Gabriel asked next. 

“YEHEHES! IHIHI- HAHAHA- IHIHIHI PROMIHIHIHISE!” The intruder yelled back. 

Gabriel smirked to himself and removed his fingers. The intruder had lowered its body down, looking limp and exhausted. But despite what it looked like, the intruder wasn’t tired…for doppelgängers do not get physically tired like humans do. Gabriel knew that this was merely a tactic to make him feel remorse towards one of his creations. Though the observer didn’t feel any remorse towards the intruder, he did feel he had gotten his point across successfully. 

“Ihi…ihi can see why humans have used gargalesis to their advantage…” The intruder admitted. 

“Do you require any more questions from me, 6?” Gabriel asked. 

“Yes, my creator.” The intruder replied. “I have two more questions to ask before I take my leave.” it told Gabriel. 

Gabriel looked away. “Very well.” He subtly encouraged the intruder to ask its question. 

“Are other alternates equally able to experience gargalesis?” The intruder asked. 

“Yes, I believe so. Though doppelgängers are the most sensitive out of all the alternates.” Gabriel replied. “It is a necessity so they may fit in with the mortal beings of earth.” Gabriel explained. 

“And…you are a type 2 alternate, correct?” The intruder asked. 

“Yes…I am.” Gabriel replied, narrowing its eyes suspiciously. “What are you implying?” 

The intruder smiled. “I am implying that you did not directly take inspiration from Yahweh when you modified your creations to…experience gargalesis.” The intruder explained. “Perhaps…you experience gargalesis yourself due to Yahweh…and as a result, you see its benefits and its destruction.” The intruder explained, getting closer to Gabriel. “Perhaps you did not want to be alone in enduring such an incomprehensible feeling.” The intruder explained as it moved its fingers closer to Gabriel’s abdomen. 

Gabriel didn’t do anything to stop the intruder from toying with him. This action alone, began to tell the intruder all it needed to know: It was correct in its proposition. The intruder wiggled a few fingers against Gabriel’s abdomen, hoping to see Gabriel contort his body like the intruder had done beforehand. And the intruder widened its toothy smile the moment Gabriel bent its upper body backwards slightly and let out some surprised fits of laughter. “Hahahahaha! Hahahahaha!” Gabriel started hugging its abdomen and shaking its head. “Hehehehehe- Sssstohohop! Thahahat’s ehenohohough!” Gabriel ordered. 

“I apologize, my prince of darkness…but I am beginning to understand why inflicting gargalesis on another being is incredibly amusing.” The intruder told Gabriel. “Whyhyhy muhust yohohou dohohoho thihihihis?!” Gabriel asked.

“I continue to tickle you because I find your reactions quite captivating.” The intruder admitted. “I fail to keep a smile off my face while you laugh like this. It is endearing.” The intruder expressed. 

“Muhuhust yohohou dohohoho thihis to mehehehe?” Gabriel asked. 

“Indeed, my creator. I am rather enjoying seeing you laugh like this.” The intruder spoke to him. “Perhaps you could express your genuine laughter a little more often?” The intruder offered. 

“Ihihihi reheject yohohour nohotion!” Gabriel argued. 

“Very well. I suppose the idea was too good to be true.” The intruder admitted as it stopped its fingers. 

Gabriel’s laughter slowed down to just slow breathing rather quickly. Gabriel dusted himself off as best he could, before turning to the intruder. “You are a very bold and dull-witted doppelgänger.” Gabriel warned it. “If you attempt to even whisper this secret to your associates, I will make sure you are rightfully terminated.” Gabriel ordered. 

“Your secret is safe with me, my prince.” The intruder responded. 

Gabriel turned to look at the earth. “Begone. I need to think.” Gabriel ordered. 

The intruder left Gabriel alone, and ventured down to the earth to resume its duties. Though it was quite amusing, the intruder had a strong feeling that Gabriel would never let it near him, let alone touch him again. The intruder had promised Gabriel to keep this secret hidden from every alternate...and as a reward, Gabriel would resume its silence on the doppelgängers’ secret weakness. Only 1 doppelgänger knew of this secret…and that was how they intended to keep it. 

[sixty-silver-wishes]

why do so many caligari adaptations want to make francis The Worst Ever he’s just a guy

like. yeah. he’s impulsive and angsty and doesn’t always think things through. but he’s not an asshole he’s just some nerd who’s suddenly forced into solving a murder.

and he CARES ABOUT HIS FRIENDS. idk why so many adaptations decide to make him a dick to alan for no reason when like. alan being killed is the whole reason why the plot is kicked off in the first place??? francis is so hyperfocused on solving his murder through the entire film he literally can’t prioritize anything else. we see how close they are in the beginning, even if only for a few seconds. and he trusts jane enough to put her feelings above his own, respecting her decision as to whether or not she’ll choose him, and valuing her and alan’s happiness over his own. and even though she doesn’t show any romantic interest towards him, he still sees her as a refuge and trusts her enough to be vulnerable around her. she’s the first person he talks to after he finds out alan died, and we see them walking back from the funeral together. yes, his drive to solve the murder does come before his consideration for her feelings after she was kidnapped, but like. from his end, the guy was up all night looking for answers and, from his perspective, had a valid reason to doubt what she told him. which, yeah, his timing was horrible, but it’s also significant that as soon as he could tell she was upset, he went off to investigate again, even if he didn’t believe her. he’s a flawed guy, but at the end of the day, the film shows he’s fiercely loyal and devotes everything to his friends.

and like. you can draw parallels between francis and caligari. sure. both are ambitious, goal-oriented, active participants in the narrative. they both can get aggressive. and there’s a more complicated reading you can make of both of them using the concept of changing another character’s name and role to enforce their own identity (caligari forces cesare’s name and identity upon him so that he can be “caligari,” while francis wants to marry jane, which would change her surname and her role as the object of desire. there’s a whole tangent I could go off on about this but I won’t do that right now lol). both of them exhibit strong emotions, particularly desire and hatred. but the difference between caligari and francis is that while both of them may exhibit these traits, francis cares enough about the people he loves to put their own happiness and comfort over his own. he’s willing to let go of jane if she chooses alan, and is secure enough in himself to remain friends with them if this were to happen. caligari uh. very much does not do that. while francis will sacrifice his own pleasure for his friends’ comfort, caligari goes out of his way to make people uncomfortable for his own pleasure (and it’s interesting that they both display these opposing traits with regards to how they view jane in particular).

come to think of it. why don’t more adaptations like. make caligari Worse. a lot of them seem to really want to play it safe with him. yes, they make him evil and mildly creepy, but there’s a sort of restraint that a lot of adaptations take that isn’t there in the film. the only one I’m familiar with that attempts to explore the abusive aspect of him is the fucking “they are accompanied by francis who beats cesare to death with a club” musical, and even that one seems to detach itself somewhat from caligari’s exhibition of medical abuse, as it has him controlling cesare through a potion instead of the film’s implied psychological experimentation. the 2005 film, for instance, cuts out the part where he “becomes caligari” altogether, and many others lessen his role in the story.

I feel like part of the reason why so many adaptations steer away from exploring the full extent of caligari’s character is because they’re not interested in the symbolism of it, focusing on telling a conventional horror/mystery story instead of a allegorical examination of abuse and trauma, or perhaps for some, the allegorical implications are intimidating. caligari is abuse at every level, and I think understanding that is key to adapting his character. we see his manipulation and aggression on multiple scales, from how he interacts with individual characters (especially cesare) to how he runs an asylum and his carnival exhibition. the idea of an authority figure represented in such a way was so subversive when the original film was written that janowitz and mayer had to change the script to make francis delusional; is it possible that perhaps even today, the symbolism behind caligari and what he could represent- a man in a position of power who uses it to harm others for his own pleasure and to potentially mask his own insecurities- may be too uncomfortable for some people to really get into? I don’t know. but I have to wonder why so many adaptations tend to ascribe traits more in line with his character in the original film to francis.

tbh, maybe it’s ableism. that sounds like a leap, but the adaptations that frequently emphasize that francis is “insane” are the ones that tend to portray his character the most negatively, even within the frame story. instead of exploring how, outside the frame story, being institutionalized by an ineffectual (and possibly malevolent) authority figure may contribute to francis casting himself as a hero so he can get closure in a traumatic situation, a lot of them will go, “francis is insane, so therefore he Must be an aggressive selfish jerk!” which can also serve to sanitize caligari’s character, especially the ones that decide that francis is completely delusional and wrong about everything, and caligari is simply a rational doctor trying to help him. which, considering the themes of the original film, does Not have good implications. and maybe they’re not trying to be ableist, but are still playing into tropes that stigmatize disabled people, especially those who experience delusions. but idk

[archiiive]

How To Get My Husband On My Side

I usually love strong female characters and I love reading them. Not a big fan of weak or damsel in distress characters. But RUBY. Idk how to explain my thoughts and feelings about her. Ik it doesn't make any sense but I feel like this is what I'd feel about my own daughter if I had one (I just turned 20 last month lolol). Ruby is by far my most favourite manhwa fmc and the most beautiful girl in my eyes I'm not even exaggerating. Yall won't believe how many times I scroll back to see the panels Ruby is in. I don't think I've even replayed shirtless Izek that many times lmao. I just stare at her in awe. I can't help but smile. I just re read this manhwa for the 4th time today, I just keep coming back here. This manhwa is so beautiful, cute, sad, painful and heartbreaking all at the same time. I cry, smile, laugh, giggle, get angry, so many emotions all at once.

I feel so sad whenever I look at Ruby's eyes. I just wanna give her a hug. Ruby is by far one of the strongest characters I've ever read. Being strong doesn't necessarily mean being physically strong yk. Everything she's gone through, those are unimaginable. The fact that she's still sane is probably the biggest proof of how strong she is. Cause imagine being abused like she was for that many years (even in her previous life, or should I say lives), she's only suffering. I can't imagine how deep the trauma runs.

Every kind of Abuse destroy people. She has gone thorough so many kind of abuses. But man SA has got to be the most horrendous things to ever happen to someone, that too by her own brother, at her own house, for so many years, where the so called brother even spread rumour about their questionable relationship outside just so her marriages could be broken off. I can't imagine going through all of that everyday and still having to smile sweetly 24/7, not having anyone to share these with, no one to rely on and pretending to be completely fine. I'd never be able to last so long, I'd be long gone.

As much as I love Izek now, it's an undeniable fact that he was a jerk to her when she first came here. Okay he had his reasons cause her family couldn't be trusted yada yada but RUBY didn't deserve any of it. Good thing she escaped from the hell, her own house but then came here to be treated like a nuisance by her own husband. Okay he's changed now and he loves her and everything is good so I'll kinda forgive him too cause at least he's giving Ruby the love, warmth, support, reassurance, comfort now. She needed them so bad. She really needed someone to confide in.

Whenever I see her holding things in and not being able to talk about her past traumas and abuse with anyone and silently putting up everything that fu*king Cesare bitch a**hole ugly looking piece of sh*t son of a wh*re does in fear that things will get worse, I just want to go get myself off by a truck and isekai into the story and stab that filthy guy until my hands fall of. I don't think I ever hated or will hate anything as much as I hate Cesare. This manhwa keeps breaking me but I still keep coming back for Ruby and maybe a little bit for Izek too, love to see them together.

I'm so mad she had to endure all of that. Idc what Ruby does or ever did. I'd support her even if she were to take initiative to end the world. I'd gladly let her destroy everything, kill everyone including me if that's what she wanted, I'd give her everything she could've ever asked for and even more cause RUBY my love deserves everything. Okay but why do I sound like a mom tho lolol. I guess Izek has a stronger competition now cause at least I'd never treat that angel like precious munchkin the way he did in the past hmph.

So in conclusion what I wanted to say is, I LOVE RUBY. My loveliest most adorable bestest sweetheart. My heart swells with love everytime she smiles. She shines so bright I fear. Ruby is the most amazing, Ruby is the most beautiful, Ruby is the strongest, i wanna bawl my eyes out everytime I look at her eyes. And if anyone tries to hurt my Ruby and talk shit about her, I'm personally coming for you, you better sleep at night with an eye open. Cause Ruby might be the sweetest but I'm certainly NOT.

[localvoidcat]

more detailed notes on the eva au characters

i'm deranged about this. most of these were decided upon with @forgetmenautical ^_^ have some beasts

adam: angel that is not aware he’s an angel (was probably replaced by one as a child and has just lived his life like this). he’s called by his father to come and use the evangelion and he links with it immediately. has trouble getting along with the other pilots and…anyone he interacts with honestly. spends the majority of his time in the evangelion to the point where they keep trying to get him out of it

evangelion listens TOO closely to him. acts on subconscious thought

he was that angel found at the bottom of the lake. lmao. lol even. he doesn’t really know this

sarah: agreed to becoming a pilot for the sole reason of wanting to honor mark’s legacy. in all actuality she’s terrified of it, but doesn’t want to lose the only ties to her brother she has. very hostile towards mcp3 for their involvement in his death but stays with them anyway. gets along with ruth because they both don’t trust anyone here

only stays at nerv to honor mark’s legacy. the longer she stays, and the more danger she’s in, the more she wonders if this is what he would want

tries to leave at a certain point. they won’t let her

was given mark’s evangelion. she feels sick every time. swears she can hear him

relationship with cesar deteriorates the more she goes into the evangelion. tries to kill him at some point

evelin: i haven’t figured her stuff out yet. was here before adam and sarah but keeps getting put in situations (her evangelion keeps going berserk HELP HER). dave kind of took her in but she decides to look into the nerv secrets on her own since he won’t say anything. tries to be friends with adam but something is just so deeply wrong with him and she keeps getting involved. sarah’s mostly normal near-murders aside

TOTALLY not a false human. cause i’d never have her parallel adam ever

you’ve never seen a sadder pilot in your entire life

jonah: meets adam through school and immediately tries to befriend him. he thinks the two of them are very close friends (they are not. adam doesn’t like him). upon becoming a pilot, he goes into his first fight and his evangelion corrupts. adam goes to fight the rogue evangelion but ends up using way too much force. jonah either gets severely injured but he STILL keeps trying to be positive

uses cesar’s old eva in the fight. it doesn’t sync well with him.

after the head of his evangelion is ripped off, he’s incapable of speech for a month after the fact. he doesn’t respond to stimuli.

mark: one of the first pilots used. his main reason for joining nerv was so that he could protect sarah (and look how well that went!). he was murdered by cesar’s berserk evangelion.

didn’t realize cesar was controlled by the angel during their last fight. spent his last moments in utter terror.

cesar: same as mark. during one of their battles, an angel took over cesar/his evangelion and used him to kill mark. after this happens, he’s kept under surveillance by nerv, and becomes a psychologist for them later in life. he doesn’t trust them after mark’s death, and tries to convince the pilots that staying isn’t worth it. he’s banned from talking to adam.

keeps trying to help sarah escape. issue is that she still blames him for mark’s death on some level

very tense with mcp3 since they were part of the reason why everything happened

thatcher’s superior. lmao

something is SO WRONG with him. how are you a therapist you need that

thatcher: a scientist at nerv (thatcher, ruth, and dave all joined after graduating college). joined because he wanted to help people but has realized over the years that nerv is doing the opposite of that. he lets adam (and later, sarah) stay with him when they join as pilots despite being the worst possible person to have roommates. knows that his friends are hiding something from him, but he’s too busy with trying to not let these kids die to explore deeper

friends with cesar. kind of. it’s hard to truly be friends with someone when you were partially responsible for the death of their best friend but they try

tries to help adam and sarah. doesn’t go too well

dave: another scientist. he works very closely with the magi and spends the majority of his time in those damn computer tunnels. knows the whole deal with the evangelions and lilith and all of that, but doesn’t tell ruth or thatcher about it. doesn’t really let himself realize that what he’s doing is wrong, he keeps trying to convince himself that this is a good idea (and putting children in living mech suits is ALWAYS a good idea). has to realize that isn’t true when it’s already too late

as mentioned earlier. takes in evelin upon meeting her. since jude sucks LMAO

feels bad about lying to his friends but what is he gonna do. tell the truth (TELL THE TRUTH. PLEASE)

ruth: also a scientist. unlike thatcher, she realizes dave’s lying and decides to do something about it in between trying to do her job. starts trying to get into the basement + figure out what the evangelions are. most probably doomed but she can stay silly. ends up befriending sarah on account of both of them not trusting this place at all.

occasionally checks on thatcher. this is how she met sarah actually

doesn’t trust adam as far as she can throw him but hey she trusts thatcher’s judgement (she really shouldn’t this will only end poorly)

jude: runs nerv. there isn’t too much to say about him he sucks LMAO. knows about adam being an angel but decides he can use that for the evangelion purposes. doesn’t talk to him outside of that though

[factorialsotherfandoms]

hi \o/!! Carente + Anomalia for the ask game? (I think you already answered these, but oh well maybe 2nd favourite \o/)

Hello! Twice even in one case! But I'll give it a go! Spoilers up to and including opc

Carente - Which is your favourite relationship (platonic OR romantic) and why?

Okay so a new answer for you first... I've done Johnny and Rubens a bit from OPD7 specific focus, I've done other Johnny stuff, I've done Cesar and Arthur... I mean I can mash Rubens with you for a wider Johnny and Rubens focus anytime but I think we both know that so...

Luciano, Fernando, and Erin. I just kinda... like them? I love Erin's dilemma of knowing her best friend has done something horrific, to save her other friend. Of having to choose between her best friend and her friend, except that she doesn't have any say in this at all. The way both Luciano and Fernando trust Erin so much, with explaining what's going on, who to shoot, what to do... But also when things go absolutely to shit, whichever one of them is present does their very best to look out for her. I wrote a little about her and Luciano during OPD, and we never really... OPD was not a season where characters really got to characterise, and I've never really had a chance to write more, but they just... make me kinda sad. But I love them, and I love how *messy* it is between them, more than anything else.

Then I will direct you here: https://factorialsotherfandoms.tumblr.com/post/756106730977509377/about-the-ask-game-carente-which-is-your

lastly, I will copy paste from what I wrote cafe, as there's spoilers for a season you haven't seen in that answer:

So, I did answer this here, but I know for sure you’ve seen the relevant parts so I saved this one for you. Because Johnny, my boy, my absolute fucking moron <3

I guess on screen relationship has to be him and Rubens, because its most of what we see, you know? And it’s sweet, and its fun, and watching the two pairs dance around each other and just how much Johnny and Rubens *trust* each other *and not the others* is very pleasing.

However

HOWEVER

I am utterly and entirely and extremely *fascinated* by the team he used to be on. Both in a historical Johnny & Luciano & Antonio & Arnaldo sense, and in a current time (well slightly ahead) just Johnny & Balu being left at the end of it. Or even!!!! Johnny & Anfitrião, the being with Arnaldo’s memories. We haven’t seen any of him and Kian so eh yeah, but the potential!!! They’re not things I’ve especially poked, but these are all things I rotate in my brain constantly. I just… Don’t have the time to write them rn, and can’t even pick a singular version anyway. The man who used to be his mentor, perhaps saviour perhaps sponsor, becoming the thing that near killed him. The last two people at the end. Four people working together without names but, from what Balu said, seems there were frictions in the group from clashing personalities and people being stubborn. Not serious ones, but ones where they’d work together but not *like* each other much. There’s a lot of lines from the Johnny, Balu, and Rubens scene (mostly from Rubens because *fuck* Felps pulled it out of the park that scene [and many of the earlier ones but I’ve repeated the Host information frip ones less]) that live rent free in my brain, but this -

Johnny, I’m Balu. We already met on another occasion, but I think… I was a bit of a fool when you met me. Anyway… I think… If we were on some mission nowadays, we would be- I would have done better.

I am so fascinated by this line. This fucking line. I am completely fascinated by a relationship I’ll never get any god-damned answers to, and it’s this line’s fault.

(I’m also 80% convinced that where Balu cut himself off? The next would would have been ‘friends’)

Anomalia - Favourite headcanon?

See the same link I gave for the first one, lmao. For a second...

So this is projecting a little but... You know how Rubens' deepest if I could change something, it'd be to be in a country house playing board games with Johnny? Clearly he adores board games (I wonder if video games got him involved in the occult but anyway), but I like to think he likes... not necessarily weird board games, but board gamer board games. The ones with a billion little wooden pieces and cards and seven boards and fifteen trackers and a scoring system so complex you're not even sure exactly *how* to type it into a calculator. Things like Terra Mystica, Settlers of Catan, Power Grid, Thurn and Taxis, Ticket to Ride, Carcassone...

Thing is, he also doesn't play to *win*, necessarily. Sure winning is fun, but he wants a safe way to spend time with friends without needing to hold up a conversation. Also he tends to set himself mini non-winning (sometimes contradictory to winning) goals. Have a city with one of every tile type in Terra Mystica, collect one of every coloured route in Ticket to Ride, connect two specific cities in Power Grid, refuse to place on road cards in Carcassone... Anything like that.

[hunter-the-sad-skeleton]

Cesar in my AU!

Cesar is interesting in my AU, as he survived the Alternate Encounter by faking his death(Look at him. He’s a theater kid. ), waiting until the Alternate moved on, and then hurried to pack a bag in a fit of panic and hurried to leave the house. More under the cut!

Trigger warnings for: Mentioned suicide, implied near-death experience, religion mention, loss of belief mention, stuff like that, please be careful, guys!

After this, he changed his name, cut his hair, quit singing entirely(No matter how much it pained him since it was a hobby he absolutely loved, but his voice was too recognizable, so he HAD to give it up. He still talks, but mostly uses sign language, despite how difficult it is for him to learn.), took on a job that he would never have taken up if he weren’t attacked by an Alternate(grocery bagger), gave up religion entirely(“What God would allow this to happen to me?”), and just changed himself almost entirely, only showing his true self if he trusts someone enough.

He has no clue about Mark’s death and just thinks he lost his phone, hence why he never answers Cesar’s calls. When he finds out, he’s crushed, but shows it in what most people would see as a “mild reaction” to being told your best friend killed himself.

This isn’t because Cesar doesn’t care, far from it, actually, he cares a lot, he just hasn’t really slept much due to the aftermath of encountering an Alternate and surviving due to him playing dead.

When Cesar is overly stressed, if he doesn’t go nonverbal, he just falls back to speaking in spanish. Jonah(haven’t talked about him yet, but I also have thoughts about him, my funky stoner pizza-loving blorbo <3) typically translates whenever he’s nearby if Cesar shuts down.

Cesar is a HUGE recluse nowadays, typically only going outside if it’s an ABSOLUTE emergency.

Overtime, Cesar breaks out of his shell, going outside slightly more often. His apartment is really well kept, as he cleans often to make sure he stays awake as long as he can.

The instant Cesar first meets Sarah, he just…hugs her. He hugs her and, for the first time since knowing about Mark’s death, cries, because he can’t imagine how badly it’s affected her.

He knew how close Sarah was to Mark, so he tries to see if he can help her in any way, which, in his eyes, is a good thing, although on Sarah’s end, it’s sorta annoying/condescending.

As time goes on, Cesar tries to understand the whole “BPS” thing, but it’s a little hard for him to wrap his head around.(When someone tells him “It’s just Ghostbusters but with Alternates” is when it clicks for him lol.)

Honestly, Cesar is a BIT of a coward, running away at the slightest bit of danger, but he slowly gets better!...slowly…VERY SLOWLY…

Oh, yeah, he has a shotgun. Did I mention that? He has it in case he runs into another Alternate.(Yes, they don’t work on Alternates, but he doesn’t know that.)

He accidentally runs into Thatcher one day. Thatcher pulls a gun on him because “YOU LOOK LIKE THAT ONE ALTERNATE”. Cesar merely sighs defeatedly because he’s too fucking tired to deal with this.

Honestly, that’s a good way to describe Cesar Post-Attack. Tired. He’s so tired, thinking can be hard for him somedays, but he never lets himself rest for too long, lest the nightmares get to him again or he risk encountering another Alternate.

If he ever met Stanley, he would scream as loud as possible, pulling EVERYONE away from him, putting himself in front of them.

He runs into Alt!Mark at one point. That goes about as well as you can expect. Most of the time, Cesar runs from danger, but this time-THIS ONE GOD DAMN TIME-he doesn’t. He can’t bring himself to move. He’s frozen in place. He has to get dragged away while he screams “WAIT, NO, PLEASE, THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND, THAT’S MARK, NO, NO, PLEASE!!!” because he can’t see past the flaws in the Alternate. He just sees Mark.

He’s still as good a cook as ever, he just seems a little…sadder whenever he does, because he can’t sing and cook like he used to. The most he does while cooking is tapping his foot and humming.

After a while, he does start singing again, as he realizes “OH SHIT I’VE HIT PUBERTY MY VOICE SOUNDS DIFFERENT I CAN SING AGAIN!!! :D”

That’s what I’ve figured out so far, but feel free to ask me anything you have questions about!

[moviemunchies]

I read the novel back in 2017, and I remember liking it! When I told my dad that I read this book by the same guy who wrote the novel that was adapted into the movie Captain from Castile, he looked to see if we could find it. And we did! And we saw it.

Hey, you know Orson Welles is in this movie?

Italian aristocrat Andrea Orsini is one of the courtiers in the employ of Cesare Borgia, helping him create alliances in his quest to conquer Italy. And, y’know, kill people; but mostly build alliances! Except Orsini has a secret–he’s not actually an aristocrat, or even an Orsini. Pretending to be one and working for Borgia has allowed him to build up his own station, and send money to his mother, though, so he goes on with it. Now Borgia has sent him to the city of Cita del Monte to build trust with its ruler, Lord Varano. Except Andrea, out from under Cesare Borgia’s thumb, realizes that he Varano is a truly honorable lord, loved by his people. Even more frustratingly, Andrea’s falling in love with Varano’s wife, Camilla.

I don’t remember all the details of the book, though I DO remember the basic Plot. I also remember a fun side plot involving Saint Lucy Brocadelli being guarded by Mario Belli. Sadly, this storyline was cut from the movie; which makes sense as it’s not immediately relevant to the Plot. Still! I liked it a lot so I’m a bit bummed.

I should probably go into this a bit more. Because so many of the supplementary side stories have been cut, the movie feels really, really straightforward. It’s not quite a speedrun of the Plot, but it feels like it at times. There are things that I think could have spent a lot more time developing. Andrea and Varano’s relationship needs more time to develop. So does Andrea and Camilla’s, but that’s typical movie romance stuff. Part of what makes Andrea decide to stop working for Borgia is because of his respect for Varano, this great leader, this honorable man, this noble figure… and we don’t actually see the two of them interact all that much. This is one of the linchpins of the story.

In comparison, Andrea and Camilla’s relationship isn’t that underdeveloped. The audience can pick up that there’s attraction between them right away. And the whole point is that they don’t act on that attraction because she’s married. There are some problems with that delivery, but overall it works better than what’s going on with Varano and Andrea.

Also, unlike movies today, it’s nice to see that these two don’t instantly jump into bed together because of immediate attraction. Her being married is actually stopping them from getting together.

If there’s another character in this movie who I think needs some work, though I think he’s still my favorite and a highlight of the movie, it's Belli. He’s the guy first sent to assassinate Andrea, but then Andrea flips him and hires him on as a loyal servant in return for his life. He’s an entertaining, straightforward guy who doesn’t understand why Andrea’s conflicted about something as straightforward as killing someone else on the boss’s orders. He grows as a person, though.

Belli’s fun. I like him.

Oh, and there’s sword fights. Those are cool. Though I should let you know: the battles and sword duels don’t happen until fairly late in the movie.

And Cesare Borgia’s played by Orson Welles?! Orson Effing Welles?!? He was thinner in those days. He’s clearly having a lot of fun being a villain. He’s not too complex, he’s just a guy who wants to conquer stuff, though he’s willing to try diplomacy before going all-out in war. He’s a perfect Renaissance villain, and the kind of antagonist who is perfect for the story, especially as we know that the hero can’t defeat him–sure, the story may bend history, but it’s not going to go so far as killing off Cesare Borgia.

I think it’s a fairly good swashbuckling action movie. The movie poster declares it the ‘King of Romantic Epics!’, which, uh… it’s not. But it is a really cool older movie, a nice Renaissance epic, and I think it’s worth checking out. I’m sad about how much of the book was cut out; then again, that’s to be expected from any film adaptation, so I can’t say it’s too unexpected.