#and thats why we have our memories and survival instinct

[furiousgoldfish]

like/reblog if you are intent on never forgiving your abusers, never want to see them or hear from them again, and your life is better for it.

[khaleesiofalicante]

There is something so weird about my reaction to this chapter. Usually, I'm holding back tears and anxious for the next chapter. But I'm calm this time.

And I think its because, one there was no flashback and two, we had David and Max interacting without anyone else there. With David just trying and Max being honest. The flashbacks leave me mourning and this was the first time I saw David make a good decision. So that was nice after the massive cluster fuck of last chapter.

I don't really know what David is going to say to Jaden's proposal. Everything having to do with Jaden has been so messed up that I wouldn't be surprised if he chose to say yes.

And maybe thats what Max needs to move on. To see David choose Jaden again one final time to realize that he doesn't deserve this pain. But this is Max who just like Alec, knows there is no one else for him. Who could forgive David anything and everything.

I get that David was probably within his rights to divorce Max. Probably because something very violent happened to Lance, I'm betting he killed someone with a gun just because of how David reacts to the thought of Lance with a gun.

But the thing is, I bet Max would have forgiven him. Max wouldn't have left David. Max would choose to fight and is still willing to for him after everything David has done to hurt him. Whether David wants to acknowledge it or not, Max will always love him and choose him. And David will always choose to run away.

Do I think David is traumatized and dealing with such a massive amount of issues that I couldn't wrap my head around it? Yes.

Do I think the more than 10 years David has had are enough to deal with the toll of the horrors he endured? No.

Do I think Max has been perfect? No.

Do i think David is doing his absolute best? ABSOLUTELY.

Do I think Mallory fucked with his head to not only mess up his memories but to somehow make him think that Max actually hates him? Yeah, that seems to be where this is heading.

But I think Max deserves someone willing to fight for him. And David has chosen not to.

Ohhhh many thoughts here. But i'll share the most important one because i have to go back to work 😒 This of course is influenced by MY perception of love and relationships.

I've always felt that it's unfair to compare people's commitment in relationships. Of course there are certain values that apply to all such as, faithfulness (not cheating).

But the thing is when we get into a relationship, we don't become similar or become one person. We're still two different people who are trying to make it work together. And more often than not, these two people are different.

So, I've found the "i would have fought for us but you didn't" argument during a breakup or even the "i would forgive you if it were you why can't you forgive me" argument incredibly unfair. Because these are two different people. They have two different personalities. So, comparing their actions in a similar situation and saying "Max would have never" is not fair. Of course Max would never. Because he is not David. David is a completely different person. So, he handles things like David. We can't expect David to handle a situation he is in like Max would (and vice versa).

And we can't expect David to fight (whatever it is) the same way Max does. Max's instinct is to fight and David's is to flight. We can't ask them to swap. It doesn't work like that. At least, it shouldn't work like that.

Because then we're compromising who we are to survive that relationship. And what happens is our partner falls in love with 'who we have to be' to save the relationship instead of 'who are actually are'.

I absolutely agree that Max (and everyone) deserves to be with someone who is willing to fight for him. But the thing is, we often forget, not everyone fights the same way.

I can assure you that David is fighting. He is fighting right now harder than he has ever before (and that's really saying something). It's not just the way we want him to fight. He is fighting in the only way that he can.

David can only fight like David.

[kanohivolitakk]

Some ramblings about Memory and why I’m happy it wasn’t canonized

Honestly the more I think about the story, the happier I am that Memory (a winner of the Memories of the Dead canonization contest) was never officially canonized. And Im saying this as someone who absolutely adores Nidhiki as a character and would've liked to see more content of him, especially one that explores his psyche in a nuanced manner.

Before we go on a few disclaimers. First off, yes, I'm aware that Memory is fan-made and that some people see critiquing fanfics as bad, at the very least unless the author personally requested it. And I completely understand that sentiment given that fanfics are hobbies and the writers may not always want critique on stuff they worked on for personal fun and passion. Thing is, Memory was not only submitted to a canonization contest, but was one of the winners. The only reason it (and the other winners of the contest) weren't canonized was because Greg wasn't allowed to visit BZPower anymore (or had it to do with LEGO quitting Bionicle g1 completely in preparation for g2, don't remember tbh). In other words, Memory was this close getting canonized, and was only left out due to external circumstances. That makes criticizing Memory fair game in my opinion.

Secondly: I actually like Memory as a story. It's well written, explores Nidhikis character in an interesting way and has a really interesting theme of how some individuals are forced into roles they didn't want to by circumstance. I think it fills in gaps from the lore nicely (especially the ending). And not only does the story use Mimic (a Dark Hunter I desperately wish was used in canon) it characterizes and uses him rather well. Him acting as a pararell/comparasion to Nidhiki is a solid way to showcase the storys central theme. All in all, it's a solid story in vacuum. Even as part of the larger Bionicle mythos I do like some elements of it and have adopted them into my headcanonverse.

That being said, I have one major issue with the story specifically regarding how it relates to the greater Bionicle canon. And that is, giving Nidhiki a "my original teammates were killed by Dark Hunters and now I desire revenge" type of backstory doesn't work for his character and arguably makes him less interesting.

First off, I understand why the writer chose to do this decision, to paint Nidhiki in a more sympathetic light. In canon, Nidhiki isn't really a sympathetic character (or at the very least wasn't intended to be one, ymmv whether or not he can be seen as one). He is selfish and his reason for betraying toa Mangai boils down to desire for glory and self-preservation. So wanting to give Nidhiki a more sympathetic backstory in order for the reader to understand why he is like that and thus sympathizing with him makes sense especially given how Bionicle doesn’t really have that many sympathetic villains to begin with and Nidhiki is one of the few who could easily be written in a more sympathetic light without making his character worse thanks to his backstory being rather tragic and there being a few hints of him being a more sympathetic character than the canon presents.

Thing is, by giving Nidhiki a desire of wanting revenge against Dark Hunters, I feel the writer misses a major part of Nidhikis character, one that could be easily expanded on to make him a more sympathetic and understandable character: his pragmatic opportunism born out of survival instinct.

Nidhiki is largely driven by pragmatism and self-preservation, by making actions that benefit him. This sense of pragmatism most likely comes from him coming from Tren Krom Peninsula: a harsh climate where you had to be pragmatic in order to survive. Pretty much everything from his characterization boils down to this survival instinct, this desire to survive taught by harsh living conditions. This is the core of his characterization and something worth keeping in mind  both when trying to understand him and writing him. And while the writer of   Memory does understand this to some extent, I feel they only saw it as part of his character rather than the main core of his characterization and driving force of his actions.

While Nidhiki loosing his teammates does add more fuel into him not trusting anyone and developing this pragmatic mindset (something Memory does pretty good job showcasing), I also feel that it's kinda unnecessary. It feels as if it exists as this big push, this big traumatic event that shaped Nidhiki's mindset into this pragmatic self-survival we see in canon and I just...don't feel that suits him. It makes more sense if rather than one big traumatic event that made him what he was it was a series of smaller events, it was him living in a place with a certain mental climate that forced a certain mindset just so he could survive.

The backstory also feels that like it exists largely to give Nidhiki a history with and grudge against the Dark Hunters which just...doesn't make sense at all when you give more context into canon. Like, if Nidhiki had a grudge against them I doubt he would've interacted with Lariska the way he did in BOADH let alone agreed to betray his team, no matter how good opportunity it felt like. Well at least it gives him one more reason to despise TSO and his organization and that’s always a plus if you ask me.

However,the main reason I don't really like this is because it feels kinda cliche and makes Nidhiki less interesting than he could be. Like, it feels that the easiest way to make your audience to sympathize with a villain is to give them a tragic backstory of them loosing a loved one that made them bitter and cynical. It just feels like a cop-out, an easy shorthand. It feels such "been there done that" and does more harm than good for Nidhikis characterization, feels like its there to make him more sympathetic through tried and true means than actually trying to understand him and what makes him tick, and building up a more sympathetic portrayal from there.

What makes this all worse is that I do think you could make Nidhiki a more sympathetic character without resorting to cliche tools like that. And thats by focusing on expanding on whats already there: his desire for survival and self-preservation. While it does make him rather selfish, its also what makes him understandable and (for lack of better term) real. While we want to talk about how self-righteous and good we are, truth is that desire for self-preservation and survival is a driving force that can override (or at the very least heavily affect) our moral compass, especially if you come from a traumatic upbringing. And like I said, the harsh survival of the fittest nature of T.K Peninsula certainly was that kind of place where Nidhiki was essentially forced to adapt a certain mindset. It’d be cool to see him slowly develop this mindset from the environment he grew up in, to have whatever potential goodness and optism he once had be eroded through him having to come in terms with the messed up nature of the world. it would’ve made him much more interesting, sympathetic and tragic character than he is in canon, all while feeling unique

That being said, I understand why the writer did the way they did. Like I said, Nidhiki isn’t exactly the most sympathetic character in canon, and wanting to give him a backstory that’s easy to sympathize with is an easy and good way to do that. It’s also worth pointing out that Memory was an oneshot, so the writer didn’t have time to go through everything Nidhiki went through before becoming part of Toa Mangai and as such, it’s easy to understand why the writer choose to give one big event that changed his mindset. I also dont think giving Nidhiki revenge motive is inherently bad (I mean its basically canon he wanted revenge against Lhikan), nor is making him more emotional and not just a pragmatic opportunist (if anything making him emotional is more than welcome in this house). But I feel that Memory just kinda, changes his character in such a drastic way that didn't sit with me, at least not completely. It kinda makes him an archetypical "I'm aloof and refuse to work with others because I lost my friends against these villains" type of character. Not only is that rather cliche that's also not what Nidhiki is like...He's more interesting as an opportunist who became such due to the harsh nature of Tren Krom Peninsula rather than your archetypical edgy shonen anime rival whos aloof because tragic backstory murder.

So yeah, Memory is a good story but I’m happy it isn’t canon because while it was an interesting take of my favorite Bionicle character, it being canon would’ve done more harm than good for his characterization as whole I feel. Also you can make a character sympathetic without having to resort to “they saw someone close to them die and desire revenge because of that”, especially when it doesn’t fit to that characters characterization as whole.

[greenflamedwriter]

Galra Lance

Lance is a galra, and Ex-Mamourian (He was kicked out because he was suicidal and kept getting attention to try to make Zarkon afraid which was the opposite of what mamoura wanted so Lance is a rebel doing his own thing, bounty hunting stealing, raiding and above all about to steal a red Lion on the ship hailed under Sendak and he’s going to get a boatloud of it. Then a cocky kid in a red suit slashes in claiming it’s his lion. Lance wonders if any of this was even worth it?

1 Flash to mind meld plus suspicion lances memories of him in water with mermaids and pre-galran.

2 Flash to “surprise, not a galra.” Lance is exposed and returned and nervous.

3 His father is Blatyz the previous blue Paladin and his other father the Galra whom Blatyz married. (Wait how were you born?) Pidge asked and Lance grinned his tail flickering back like a cats (I was a test tube baby)

4 Keiths initiation Lance returns to the Mamoura.

5 they take down Zarkon then realise his son appears and find out it was hagger when plot twist the whole family were puppets a chaotic energy anti quintescence gains a form and almost possesed the galra but some (Maourans) Resisted and the galra were so soft, so easily corruptable they fight that thing with Fusiontron. They save Honerva and Lotor and they find a planet and make it habitable and release everyone from enslavment but some planets are merged some want the Galra gone and some need their galra to remain so Allura and Lotor try to fix things. Lance goes to his planet which is hidden and Allura gasps to see Alteans, Mermainians and Galra there in hiding in a warped hole.

On a spacecraft floating on the edge of an arus solar system, an abandoned Galra named Lance, was taking a pit stop.

His ship consisted of junk, the pilot hanger cluttered making even hoarders feel disgusted open drinks and snack bars littered here and there and Lance had to squeeze in just to get to the pilots chair, the craft only had one room and a bathroom that stopped working. And his room was the only place that was clean it had an assortment of guns, rifles, snipers, you name it, along with a discarded blade that has seen no use in years with a strange symbol on the hilt.

Lance had music blasting from his speakers some album he bought from an alien shop, the album was called ‘Queen.’ And so far Lance was a fan.

He was flickering through a data pad as many reports scrolled past with anflick of his finger. Galra operations, cargo shipments, military vessels, open channels with radio chatter that Lance ignored. He was looking for something easy.

The life of a thief had its perks, steal medical supplies and weapons and give them to a rebellion and make a profit. Usually he sold to both sides just to live more dangerously. A recommendation opened up and Lance smirked behind his mask with the three circles on the front.

A vessel captioned by Sendek was hovering outside Arus, sliding the panel right and lots of data began to download at lighting speed , appeared and Lance’s smirk grew.

It had some precious cargo on it, a Lion of Voltron to be exact.

Lance was having the time of his life knocking out guards ninja style was just so easy, he had the red lion in his sights.

“Well hello gorgeous, mind dropping down that barrier and getting out of here?”

Suddenly he heard a nose and hid behind a pillar in the shadows, just as more galra guardsran into the hanger.

Lance turned and frowned to see a boy in red and white armour (like thats not inconspicuous) and took them down, Lance grew more suspicious this kid fought like a galra. But he didn’t wear mamorian armour or any rebel armour that he knew. Could be a threat.

Until the kid went to the barrier “Alright open up.”

…it did nothing, the boy growled in frustration “Ugh-we don’t have time for this! It’s me keith! You’re I AM YOUR PALADIN!”

Lance couldn’t help it he laughed, more like busted a gut.

The kid whipped around activating a weapon, a sword.

“Stay back!” Lance shook his head “No, wait,” he was still chuckling holding up his hands “I’m not-”

Suddenly more guards made themselves known and the two found themselves with their hands full.

Lance wasted no time shooting the Galra, even took care of the kids blindspots, this jlb was bigger than he thought maybe if he helped the kid out they can split the money fifty fifty.

That was until.

“You’re not getting this lion!”

Keith slammed his hand against the panel, and opened up the interlock, the vacum

Shot the galra forward and Keith was barely gripping onto the panel.

Lance cursed then used his grappling hooks to latch onto a structure beam.

Suddenly Keith’s slipped and he was pulled into space.

Lance acted on instinct he unlatched grapplings and shot out of space after the teen. He easily grabbed him stopping them both from slinning.

“Let go!”

“Shut up, I’m trying to save your life.” Until the kid screamed Lance turned in time to see big metal jaws clamp shut around them.

Both screamed as they tumbled along the inner corridors, Lance was usually could at improvising- but this was going so far out of left field!

He had no clue what was even going on anymore.

Both were on their hands and knees panting from the sudden death experience, until Lance heard a high pitched sound and turned his head slowly.

Keith held his red sword against his face. Lance could only stare- oh well, stare in his mask and ex-Mamourian armour as much as he could.

“Who are you?” Keith growled. Lance knew he could knock the kid out and take the lion. But he’d have no idea if it’ll even respond to him, and Keith is a fighter and wouldn’t let this thing go, heck heleaped out of an airlock for this thing.

A crash outside saved his interrogation. “A rebel, against the Galra,” he rushed out (which was sorta true)

“Honestly I would tell you more but we don't have time!”

….It turns out Lance got involved in something much bigger than him.

This...this was Voltron.

His childhood stories, the one his dad told him about. The universe’s last hope before Alfor hid them away.

They returned!

Kinda, with one blue lion shot, it just sat there with it’s barrier up. Useless. Not doing a thing….sounded like his type of girl. Chilling alone while the whole universe wasn’t in chaos.

But even with four lions they were able to take down a fighter craft, one with Sendek attached as it crashed onto the planet before him. Colour Lance impressed.

Keith wasn’t too bad either during the battle. He was an excellent pilot and a fighter, but he had a very bad habit.

“Green is wide open,” Lance said with a sigh as he watched how obvious it was that the green Lion had three fighters on their ass.

“Help them out.” Dumbass, he left unsaid.

Keith seemed to hear it.

“I know-” keith instantly covered them and Lance saw fighter ships approach from the main craft. “Your right-” Keith barely managed to dodge.

“Will you quit back seat driving!?”

Lance almost stopped until he saw the black paladin was in distress “The Black lion-”

Keith was moving before he even finished. Keith was good, just had to see the bigger picture.

Once they defended Arus and went planet side, Lance had already made a decision, as he left the red lion trailing behind Keith he saw the others landed beside them.

A woman appeared out of the castle looking relieved, until her eyes clocked his and Lance almost ran back up the mouth of the lion.

“Who is he?”

Allura demanded once all the pilots had landed.

Lance brightened behind his mask, his lilac tail flicking back and forth as he descended the mouth of the lion and held his hand out.

“Oh hello, I’m Lance.” He over exagirated his movements the more big and dumb he looked the more trusting, Allura took his hand tentively.

“You can’t tell with the mask, but I’m winking.”

Allura pulled her hand away still suspicious. “Keith!”

Keith glanced at him curiously. “He was with the red lion,”

With no warning, Lance felt Allura grab his arm and twist him around onto his knees, Lance yelped.

“Ow, ow ow- that hurts lady- ow!” His hand was trembling and clenching as Allura dug her palm into his shoulder.

“What were your intentions with the red lion?”

“I was planning on stealing it,”

Allura looked very alarmed, until Lance gasped on. “But now? wouldn’t dream of it!” Allura growled “Why should we trust you?”

“My dad told me about Voltron,” Lance wheezed god this lady was tough.

Allura let him go surprised and Lance fell over with a yelp just barely catching himself, he turned and pointed at her with a scowl (That she didn’t see)

“Look I know what this looks like but I know that, this,” he gestured at the lions as he stood up ”This isn’t some collectors item, this is VOLTRON! The people’s hope, if anyone found out I-” Here he slapped a hand to his chest “-was responsible for sabotaging Voltron I’ll be doing the Galra a favour, Which is the opposite of what I want to do.”

Allura and the others who looked defensive, straightened once Lance said his piece.

“Is there anyone out there fighting Zarkon?” She asked, Lance placed a hands on his hips “Still? Jeez Lady where have you been? There is no more fighting, Its just surviving at this point.” He flapped his hand lazily “I already gave up on that freedom pipedream long ago, but yes other rebels are trying. Chances are if you make a dent in Zarkons oppressive system the rebels will come flocking.” And if the Mamoura catched wind of Voltron Lance wanted to be out of there ASAP.

He waved at them taking a step back “Good luck to you,” He patted the barrier of the blue lion and continued to walk away, hoping he could get enough of a signal to his ship to get him as far away from this planet.

Until the barrier collapsed with a swish.

He stopped walking as the others gasped. No.

Lance turned to see the others gape at the lion (Now free) then their gazes turned towards him.

Coran came to himself before the others. “It seems we have found our blue paladin.”

Lance looked around then back at them, wait they meant him?

Oh Gaia, no.

[angstymdzsthoughts]

Jiang assasination attempt AU.

“It’s okay , I can be replaced if I die. But if Uncle Jiang or Jiang Cheng…” his hands were trembling. Eyes full of hostility and taunts from the guests but none faze him at the slightest. But oh, the fury from madam Yu’s eyes due to his actions. His eyes darted to Jiang Cheng , the said boy was angry. He took a breath and drink the wine.

xx

It was a rare occasion for an envoy of Meishan Yu to visit the Yunmeng Jiang ,but among them were distant cousins of Yu ZiYuan. They were on their way back from a funeral few towns away and decided to drop by for a few days. The night of their arrival ,a grand dinner was hosted as a courtesy to the guests.

Wei Ying came up beside Jiang Cheng, “Something is off ,I don’t trust them.”

Jiang Cheng turned to him with a crocked eyebrow , “Don’t talk nonsense. You said the same thing this morning.”

Wei Ying bit his lip hard and huffed “First of all, the envoy brought a dog with them! Two dogs! so I was right but-“ Jiang Cheng abruptly shushed him as they entered the dining hall.

Wei WuXian may have short term memory but as a head disciple of Yunmeng Jiang ,he trained himself to have sharp instincts. He knew better than to ignore his guts ,so when the guests arrived for the dinner and presented a bottle of wine to Uncle Jiang ,his instincts screamed wrong !

“This wine is rare and very fine delicacy. We presented this for both of you and your son to ensure prosperity for YunMeng Jiang Sect under both of your rule” said the head of the envoy that smells of strong perfume ,Wei Ying decided to call him perfume for now. “Thank you for your consideration. We appreciate this.” “This wine is best drink as a toast , Master Jiang. I can ensure the after taste will warm your heart and stomach. You will have a good sleep tonight”.

To reject an invitation to drink is a rude gesture so Jiang FengMian nodded to the servants to fetch the wine and serve in a wine glass.

“Wait!” Wei Ying couldn’t himself, the words were tumbling from his mouth before he could stop them.

The entire hall all turned at the same time ,but Wei Ying was too preoccupied crossing the hall and snatching the bottle away from Perfume.

“What is this? Is YunMeng Jiang is that low to let the head disciple to interrupt the toast to the Head Sect? And I heard you were only a son of a servant. What are you implying by snatching the present away and humiliating us?” Perfume bellowed angrily.

“Wei Ying!! What are you doing ?!” roared Madam Yu.

“This disciple thinks that it’s not safe to hastily drink a wine from an unknown source. It may be poisoned.”

Another representative stood up , “This is absolutely outrageous! You accuse us of poisoning the wine ? What could we possibly get by doing that to our distant family ?! Yu Ziyuan ,are you letting this boy accusing us and straining our blood relationship?”

“I am not accusing! I’m just making sure-“

“Shut your trap ,Wei Ying. I’m sorry for his display, Yu Yan. I will have him escorted back to his room and punished accordingly.” glared Yu ZiYuan. Jiang FengMian take a seat back and sigh heavily. He nodded at the guards to take Wei Ying back to his room.

Wei Ying was angry now. The servants tried to take the bottle from him and he evaded them, bumping into Jiang Yanli who had made her way over as well. “A-Xian” , she put a hand on his back. He locked eyes with Jiang Cheng in crowd and saw the utter humiliation in his face.

“Then ,it’s fine if I took a sip to ensure that there’s nothing right?”

“Wei Ying ! Out of the hall, now !”

“That’s okay ZiYuan. Let that boy do what he wants. I expect formal apology and punishment if he was wrong, though.” giggles and taunts heard from the guests.

xx

That’s how Wei Ying ended up in the situation. Shaking hands holding the empty cup. Throat hot from the wine. Tasty but bitter.

The hall was silent.

And nothing. Stupid. He just put himself to doom. But his instinct was saying otherwise. Not yet.

“Are you satisfied now? Give the bottle to the servants and get out. Expect heavy punishment from me tomorrow morning.” dismissed Yu Ziyuan.

Before the servant could grab the bottle ,he took large sips of the wine directly from the bottle. Then he dropped the bottle to the floor followed by sound of the bottle smashed to pieces and gasps of horror from the audience.

Wei Ying dropped to his knees ,“This one apologises ! My finger slipped. I’m really sorry for wasting such fine wine. Please, our sect also have good wine. I will issue a formal apology tomorrow morning.”

He should not have expecting that it will go smoothly.

He should have expected that Madam Yu will step out her seat and slapped the hell out of him.

He should have expected that the guards will physically dragged him to his room , cheek stinging, Shijie and Jiang Cheng staying in the hall.

He should have expected to be locked in his own room.

Oh well , you reap what you sowed. And he started writing the formal apology.

xx

After the chaos in the hall and watching A-Xian dragged away by the guards, Yanli was restless. Mother was furious and surely will punish her brother heavily. The dinner resumed with a toast for both father and A-Cheng with another wine provided by the sect. After 3 agonising hours of the awkward dinner, all guests were dismissed.

Her parents retired early to discuss (fighting?) about the incident regarding A-Xian. As the servants cleaning up the hall , Yanli took a tray of left over food to bring to A-Xian with a grumbling Jiang Cheng.

“What the hell is his problem? A-jie, he embarrassed A-Niang’s distant family. This is so humiliating.”

“I don’t know, let’s hear his explanation first ok? He must be hungry.”

“Before he explain , I’m going to break his legs first!’

Upon reaching Wei Ying’s room ,they knocked the door and waited. Silent . Is he asleep? Until they heard a crash from his room ,Jiang Cheng kicked the door open.

“Wei WuXian!!!”

The teenager was convulsing on the floor ,blood trickled from his nose , mouth and ears. Eyes bloodshot and pupils dilated. Jiang Cheng kneeled beside him to inspect him ; “He’s under qi deviation! Call for help , hurry A-jie!” and Jiang Yanli runs for help.

Wei Ying suddenly shouts in agony, writhing in pain. Jiang Cheng held both of his jerking arms to ensure he did not hurt himself further.

What happened? Is it really poison? The wine? Was he right after all? But why ???

Don’t die Wei Ying , please dont’ die. I’m sorry dont die dont die dont die I should have believe in you don’t die dont die

Cold clammy hands were taken away from his grip ,it was taken away by the sect’s healer. He didn’t realise that the elder man has arrived. His father and two healers carried Wei Ying to his bed ,and before he could join them , a person dragged him outside. He fought back and the tunnel vision is narrowing and darker.

He didn’t realised that he was hyperventilating until he was embraced by his mother. His sister on his other side - crying.

“A-Niang, what should we do? What if he died? What do we do?” he wailed like a new born baby. Can his brother survive this? What if he was crippled due to the qi deviation? The wine initially was for him and his father, he was glad they didn’t fall to the trap but he never wanted his brother to pay for the expense. That foolish brother is too selfless. If Wei Ying didn’t survive - no no no NO ! Mother comforted him but deep inside he could not held back the resentment he felt towards her family. How dare they !

“Madam !The guest room is empty ! They’re gone !” a guard reported.

“A-Cheng , stay with your sister. Leave Wei Ying with the healers. I won’t let them get away with this. ”

Jiang Cheng was about to debate until a shrill scream interrupted them from Wei Ying’s room.

Yanli sobbed , “Oh A-Xian” and clasped her hand, praying .

He watched his mother departed with a group of disciples to pursue the criminals.

He sat down , praying with his sister.

-b

did he survive ? thats up to your imagination ;)

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 12, 2019 // the kidnapping

okay yall heres this! see you in two weeks! 🥳

-ik george called everyone to help but i get such a thrill from people asking nancy for help bc they know she can do it. (its a real contest sometimes between nancy over-inserting herself into peoples business bc she thinks she knows better vs her actually being the one to call)

-maybe an interesting facet to nancys tendency to lack emotion comes from mystery solving- being able to stay calm and objective when people like george are frantic and anxious. think rationally. search for clues. follow logical footsteps. this is where her predicting human behavior scientifically and not socially prevails. you might think youre behaving rationally but it takes a cold clocked brain to really do it (the 'wall' that carson mentioned)**

-owen is so cute lmfaoooo

-once again bess's particular attention to detail wins the day

-they totally stole this sharpie + back of menu thing from victoria

-wonder what gomber asked for from simon

-chief has absolutely zero hesitation to sharing things with nancy now lmfaoooo

-"just dont slow me down" all im picturing is nancys face when carson says how bout a father juxtaposed with s2 ryan and carson stalking her and pretending to hide in their car when they got caught

-"commentary rescinded" lmfaoooo we all judge him for the weekend sweater vests but he is undoubtedly the most capable character on this show for taking care of a kid

-"your memory is relentlessly specific" would honestly hate to be raising that kid lmfaoooo no winning arguments here. thats probably why carson is the way he is though, soft, small, open and unguarded - no reason to start arguments. perfect calm happy family

-okay lbh. was karen a dick for snooping in nancys room y/n?

-nancys face when carson offers advice on the phone call lmaoooo

-**so now wonder if that "calm" carson mentions as a survival mechanism is manufactured. that would be an intereting parallel to s2 premiere when nancy confesses to the wraith that shes afraid. then with nancys constant conflict of wheter to engage with mysteries or not when they are such a part of her is brought to scintillating focus if we consider this cold clocked calm during panic is actually based in something painful and tragic, and the real truth is that nancy is too afraid to even solve mysteries anymore (afraid of what tho? herself? hurting others? her own mystery-solving ability?)

-carson still has his supernatural nope hat on

-her frustration with her "memory in pieces" become so much more interesting considering it as a control mechanism- nancy is obsessively in control of what shes thinking and feeling and executes that control firmly in pretext of solving mysteries - she controls and solves them, they dont control her. like cancer was "the mystery she couldnt solve" and she just spiraled from there. like in the first ep she says "it was more than just a hobby, it was part of who i was" past tense. shes trying to reclaim parts of her identity that she thought were unshakeable, like mysteries and who her parents are, yet these parts of her identity that she still picks up and engages with turn out to be destructive both to herself and those around her. does her ability to draw the line differ? like the mysteries are a comfort/lacking stillness to avoid dealing with emptiness: did mysteries always hurt her parents/friends/others when she was younger, and she just never noticed because their lives werent permanently damaged like nancys picking apart these secrets did?

-"superstitions and rituals are all part of human behavior, its not proof of something inhuman" -discuss 🧐

-this ep and that hug made me ship george/nick

-love this bess/owen bonding time 💙

-love the contrast between nancy rejecting nicks help to george with "my trucks outside" (THE TRUCK omg foreshdowinggggg)

-damn casting did a good job finding a creepy bitch to play moira (shes sooooo weak tho lmfaooo)

-wonder if mcginnis can sense anything when gombers arm starts to bleed

-"TED!" "...yeah?" 😰😴🤦🏼‍♀️😂

-wonder what a relief nicks help is to george when even her own mother cant help her

-love this branch swinging bit for nancy. one hit for every memory taken! reminds me of our good ole tazer ep. and loving these physical outbursts from nancy.

-carson saying "i'm here" just like he did on the bluffs 😭

-UNPOPULAR OPINION: "just out of curiosity..." and gomber indulges her! what an interesting weirdcreep nancy/gomber (+simon as an extension) for a what if scenario. "i can still smell him on you" 👀...something about the children who were chosen first as little girls that come back as grown women (like an addiction/cant stay away/been marked/curiosity)

-owen holding bess's coat for her 🥺

-"we can enter our homes justified tonight" nancy would love that.

-irony: asking where kate will be in heaven bc lucy never made it to heaven/stuck as a ghost in purgatory (and why nancy always feels so lost bc she cant find kate bc kate's not hers)

-nancys old notebook is the same blue just like her blue car 💙😚

-mcginnis reaches out to nancy physically during/after carsons handcuffing by karen but just barely makes contact- so physical after meeting with mcginnis/him saying "work together" and seance/ceremony - now that opposing forces of mcginnis' law and nancys ability to get results have mixed and "been resolved" - emotional conflict nullified which allows for more genuine emotion/"paternal" instinct of older man-younger woman dynamic to come through (ironic since her actual parent is getting carted away)

and lastly

-"tell them you didnt kill her!" karens look at carson when he doesnt/cant say anything speaks volumes.

[misterbitches]

Hello! @flootweed replying to the post from before. the long format was killing me. why does tumblr look like this...

I haven’t watched episode 8 yet...or have I? If it’s the most recent one. No.

Is the hornbill a bird? It probably is but I have a terrible memory and I’m dumb so. I skipped the last few weeks because I’m scawwed. How are you liking it? I did see someone say that the hornbill makes sense (without knowing what it is...at all) bc heart transplant patients only live like 5-15 years after but someone in those comments pointed out that he was so young when he got his and that’s pretty rare so he has a higher likelihood of survival. Frankly, this is the only way I will proceed. Since when did shows ever care about the heart transplant health? Never and it needs to stay that way!

What did we think of ep 6? LMAO. I need opinions! And omg it makes me feel special when I can point things out to people because I so...rarely get to LOL. Editing is like one of my favorite things ever so I can be super particular about it but I try to do the thing you do when you’re supposed to see if it works within its context. I’d like to go in with scissors and glue but alas. 

THe mic covering....the rustling....it’s like guys...please. Ironically the audio today wasn’t great. I don’t know why. IDK if you watch c-dramas but I am not even sure what’s worse between them because they dub their dramas. But actually no it’s best to have the dubbing because even tho it is painful they have to put a lot of effort into it. LOL. 

Right? @ Aey! It’s just weird if they would show us more about what he’s done instead of saying he’s done sth bad and not even explaining that....like you could even do some shitty exposition. I think if he is to be a true villain then we really need to be privvy. All the warnings make it seem like he’s a fuckin’ serial killer so when we get the scene of him at home it’s like....actually this is really serious? Maybe his pain is like...for a reason. Althought you won’t even TELL US WHAT HE’S DONE WRONG BESIDES BE JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND ANNOYING! So from what we have it’s just a realllllllll fucked up sad person lol. god i forgot about the dinner! and i totally agree. he really needs them to succeed. i like your theory because it would make the scene where he like blocks the twitter user make more sense. he also says they dont really know each other etc so it’s realllllyyyyy probable that he just sees it as a way out. if not then we shall pretend u wrote it :)

god yea i wouldnt say it is art but i also guess we technically have to since it is technically. in the way that technically performance artists are artists but mostly i uh technically ignore them. Also one of my fav BLs is called the best twins. If you do not know what it is I will not elaborate further.t 

i want to know more abt poli sci majors lmao but they sound DRAMATIC/ hopefully most ppl in ur cohort arent losers! 

hahahha i understand. there was just a thing on twitter about DSA and then the day before about reading discourse. the same thiings. over. and over. and over. and over. we are our own worst enemies but also our own best friends? but i hate tankies and that wont change. but hasan’s a decent guy. he said sth abt black ppl during biden’s primaries in GA or whatever and i was like chill. but he’s insecure and has adhd which means ur more open to being wrong and changing otherwise u will suffocate and die. 

and totally about hiding fuck ups. i’ve tried really hard bc of organizing IRL to like...be honest, question, etc but also like...approach it naturally? because if you’re trying to be perfect and so worried you’ll fuck up you don’t realize that puts  more stress on you, makes you seem like a robot, and could potentially not make you realize the mistkaes you made. also if we’re privileged in certain spaces there is just no possible way we won’t get something wrong. im light and i know that honestly any way to speak up on colorism is going to be difficult and that’s a space where i have power so i just have to figure it out. we should be uncomfortable because we have to sit with unpleasant feelings and sort through our own whatever. that just makes the next time even better and people can trust u more.  i think some people sweat it sooo much or maybe they think their personal life and what theyve been through is more the norm? on the other hand people can be sf reactionary in the worst way and idk what their issue is. there was also a user who said sth very inch arresting about tankies which i thoroughly enjoyed (how like violent lefitsts or tankies / ppl who are like ooh a gun whatever just want to be violent in another space so they have shit tendencies from jump and nothing of substance which i think i agree with tbh fo ra lottttt of ppl. like their anger is actually like “no im about to beat that ass” instead of what we actually want to get done) 

sort of in the same vein re: taking it easy...we coudl all be more understanding too. to slow it down like you mentioned about not being privvy to fucking eveyrthing and saying anything on our mind. i saw this person talk about y2k which was a huge deal while happening bc it was the turn of the millenium (bruh were u even alive?) but this twitter user grew up in a super super SUPER religious household and was like why do ppl make jokes about Y2K it was insanely traumatizing? though my first instinct was confused ive tried hard to like look more before i judge especially thanks to a friend of mine. turns out that with the further reading the more we found out he was just really traumatized; it was very common in religious households to be afraid of 2000. so we could have come at him with no understanding and he could have thought that everyone had the same experience with that year that he did. his feelings sit precedent though but i think it was just very hard for him to fathom. 

i didnt reply bc he didnt need that and what could i have said? he’ll see what the truth is with exposure and unfortunately this was something he really did go through. 

and that’s what makes most people think others could be over the top. because it sounded ridiculous but then it was this huge traumatic thing that we could have never known about. so maybe when someone sounds like actually crazy they have an explanation? of course some ppl are just batshit or annoying but that’s anywhere not just leftists it’ just means more i guess when a ~~librul is annoyed~ but it can be easy to want to make fun of ppl too. lmao.  basically what i am saying is the internet? especially twitter? for leftists? in this economy? bitch it’s the wild west out here.

i am 29! idk if i said it or not. i am OLD u probably werent even born in the year i was talking about wah. i know not old-old or old at all but compared to you i’m due for a colonoscopy.

omg i hope u can get vaxxed soon! are you wfh rn? i hope ur also not in a bad state as in state state not state as in ur being :| bleh what a fucking time. it sucks that you have to fucking do work. well unless u like school. which i hope u do. i just assume everyone hates it cos i did lmao

was it the lindsay ellis drama? that bitch is dumb. if there was other drama oh wait the drama i was referring to it all happened on the same day. idk book twitter that well but i saw something from someone who was abt that shit and wowie! the american people are not that.....intelligent to put it lightly.

i’ll get better. ppl tell me they miss me and im like aw. i have insanellllyyy bad insomnia and a lot of stuff happened this year HOWEVER I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS FOR 8 HOURS AT A REASONABLE TIME. im a new woman.  anyways you too! i hope ur not too burnt out with school. we just dont know when the burnout is or we just dont know we are burnt out until we are. the panaramiciccici hit and all the things i was ignoring kind of just fell on me and sooo much happened at once. and frankly it’s hard to take care of ourselves. lord. 

Like if you aren’t interested in expanding on the issue in a way that hasn’t been done before all you gotta do it like… spread resources and donate if you can. I dont see the point in having to say something about every issue especially if you (not at you specifically just in general) aren’t immediately impacted by the issue. Like is the 14 yr old white marxist named sarah on twitter really gonna have meaningful insight on anti-asian violence ?

this is part of why i cannot telecommunicate. i dont want to do shit on the internet. i am able bodied so i know that this time has been of such ease for other people. but mentally i just can’t. i don’t have a comment on hand like that and i hvae no desire to engage with ppl that way. i am a super super super solitary person but thats bc it’s MY time so when it’s like all this effort with other people i dont ever want to be alone. it’s the same with the way i approach filmmaking. it isnt a sole thing so i hate it not together. that’s part of how u can get so sucked in and repeat doom scrolling. i was in this webinar last may after [redacted] and this black woman prof said “read with a community and talk” because otherwise she said we are torturing ourselves. you can’t carry that weight all on your own. unfortunately i hate zoom, discord, slack, signal, whatsapp, facetime. you name it this panera has made it evi.. L

you make a really excellent point. i think the young young gen zers are really really just interesting because it’s like this whole new world for them with leftist politics and they just can’t grasp the horrors of the world and the kind of freedom being a leftist can bring. and so many people don’t grow out of it. those people so happen to be the “least productive” in terms of how much time they spend IRL withe these issues. naturally, younger kids are gonna have a harder time. they are not as mobile as well so the internet becomes this place. but then it’s this echo chamber. and many times just things posted without sources. and social media NEEDS that to exist.

i think of the irony of leftist kids on tik tok and while i am happy it’s reaching them it’s just....different. very different. the growth of social media is so good but also so fucking sad, it’s too much! i think the point about not writing everything is major. even i have to do this which is part of the disappearing.y ou need to detach and make sure your head is on straight again. but when you think eveyrone has to be privvy to every thought and you can’t just sit back....which twitter and social media doesn’t encourage. you have to join in. that’s often why when i have something to say it is dense because i don’t feel like repeating it. ever. lmao ust ever. i cant pay attn. social media is a fucking minefield for my brain u can get so lost in it and absorb it but once u start talking you may not be able to stop. 

i think a big part of that is it not being a leisurely thing but sort of just in our lives always. this sounds like a grandpa rant but ykwim. We dont have to see the same thing over and over again. And eventually it gets sincerely diluted or its diluted bc of capitalism or whatever. Or if theyre very young or maybe they don’t have like the greatest way of sharing the knowledge? then it can be butchered. I hope this is making sense...i’m talking beyoond the boring surface-level milquetoast shit. i see really ahistorical stuff on there from leftists (like this thing about NK + africa and it being a beneficial rship as opposed to a um not beneficial one. and it isn’t.  beneficial but this young black girl was talking abt it and noname rtd and i was like it’s just too complex. there’s no good/bad here just bc it’s not america. dont get me started on this.)

but Lol that was kinda off topic but I think what I meant in my last reply about not turning off the voice in my head is about when I consume media, not necessarily when I’m online talking about. Even if I have criticism for something, I’m usually pretty chill when consuming fandom content bc I think being serious online all the time is kinda boring. Like sometimes I’m analyzing theme and shit but really most of the time im memeing.

exactly.........gotta laugh. thats why sometimes im like i cant think lmao. unfrotunately i have been ARGUING with ppl on the internet for rly no reason when  i could have replied to ur very nice fun wholesome message. i love torture. i miss memes.

“ i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them “ EXACTLYYYYY

kekekekeke im glad u got it. it’s like with conservatives throwing around snowflake. now im beginning to question who the real complainers are. 

LMAO exactlyyyy. i posted a screenshot of this writer from twitter saying that exact thing. Like first of all, I’m...an adult? and if you are as well uh? i’m sorry for you but are we 12? But how is it affecting u this viscerally? And if it does why dont u...do...research? pihgofuaipoajghou but honestly everything u said. we’re trained to go into it with nothing. i was only around ur age when i started to get more serious about this stuff but you’re like lightyears ahead of where i was at 21. did i say this but i’m in iww and literally i can tell u in 2016 i did not think 2019 me would be in a union bc i told my friend in a train station that we don’t need unions. i was 23...but the thing is i didnt know what i was talking about. at all. and i knew i didnt know and she knew i didnt know and now i am the clown.

also yes at critical engagement. i had to learn so much through experience and this is tuff that i coudlnt be shielded from. there’s an empathy you kinda have to develop and this understanding that you move through the world as this person who is “nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything” so i’ve always had to think about things differently just to survive. that’s also what can drag a lot of people towards it like theres so many black kpop fans bc i think a lot of the pain in SK can be mirrored (sort of) through our history. and theres currently a history now but it had to be forged. uh what was my point oh yea however i wouldnt have been able to move further if i didnt have my background to go off of  bc i knew something was off when i started getting into all these things (ill give u a hint) but if i had no prior knowledge and didnt have to think about it then the critical approach is either stale or stupid. 

i had to research but i dont understand how ppl are so bold with little to no research and understanding? thhey just inherently know with also like ZERO experience in what they need experience in. engaging critically means “how i see the world” with dashes of trying to be open adn understanding or whatever. actually that’s another thing like being afraid of criticizing things bc theyre foreign to you so u give it a pass (like we discussed) but it doesnt hAVE TO BEEEE JUST REAAAAAD and then take all the info ur teensy brain and apply it. be a normal human being and dont be fucking rude and racist. thats it! u can complain abt literally anything without being a dick.

as we start with LW and end with LW.....what do we think (i asked this already) omg please share wbl thoughts i THINK i know what ur talking about. well it could be two things; their rship when they came back and the physicality and then pei shou yi. i almost dont even want to use my brain to fucking look at that. i think wbl can get away with more bc of visual~*~*~* reasons (like literally, the look of the show. there’s more space to get lost in the frames. many thai dramas are a lot more literal? this isn’t the right word but it’s very heavily character focused particularly bc of $ i think) though good production also underscores flaws so i am also wrong. but like do u know what i mean? u have to kinda focus on it? or maybe it’s just cos like.....ur so used to it in thai bl idek. i’ve seen tw bl ofc. 

look i swear i will justify this forever bc there are some things we miss right but if u feel like someone’s a bad actor....theyre bad. it’s about tone movement etc etc etc and since most thai bl productions have 0 interest in that....well. they take these newbies and put them in these situations. we dont understand thai but if we see them and we’re like “wow this is really bad” then they’re bad lmao. IDC i will never be like cos idk what theyre saying NO WHY HE LOOK LIKE A ROBOT???????? DOES HE EMOTE? why is he CRYING WITH NO TEARS? and it’s not even a total requisite to cry with tears(i mean for me it is) but it’s just like what is happening on ur face right now young man????????

painful.

the inflection stuff is very valid ooh good point tho but that’s only a part of the piece. plus we get used to the way they communicate. like the ppl from sotus were prtty bad. i dont like that show but thats an ex of ppl liing the actors and the person i thought was better other ppl dont think that? well apparently hes a shitty guy but. um. so when theres decent acting its so glaring.

although i must say even tho i dont care for 2gether anymore and would never like to be reminded about its existence (only bc i just cringe lol) i honestly....didnt think bright was a bad actor? but people keep saying he is and i am much more inclined to believe them than myself. though i am not often dickmatized that could have been it. until he opened his mouth and ruined it and then i stopped paying attn.

although honestly i’m so much more critical than i could be positive. i have ben stumped for the last day about how i wasnt mad at his acting in the show. is it me? is it him? who’s......the wrong one.....(me) 

oh shit they have been denied? i haven’t been paying attn to whats been going on recently. i just got into it on MDL because of snowdrop. sometimes i literally cannot engage bc ill just be like alright well im black so this power button in my head is going off when ppl talk abt that shit. back in the day when kpop jawns were saying some real outta pocket anti black shit (now everyone is slick with it) it’d always be THEY DONT HAVE GOOGLE THEYVE NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON but really it’s like no...maybe they are just racist? that’s ok too.

also the past 2 weeks have been um atrocious bc how fucking easily people fell into the pit of white supremacy and started to turn their ire towards black people and making a competition between our groups just like they wanted. it’s not about the women who are dead anymore, who were sex workers, their womanhood, being asian, being poor anymore. it’s about how much black people get attention and why people only pay attn to us. i am not feeling very generous this week for ppl to excuse that hsit.

on a lighter note, ppl say that abt the whole husband and wife thing. i dont know how to explain how angry that shit makes me but maybe it’s because i do not want to think of my body in relation to a fucking penis at all hours of the day. if bls could kindly not do that it would be nice lmao 

yes there are a lot of those. who are only there to gawk lmao. and just idk worship bc of the cult of personality thing bc of how weird and open they have to be as actors. some of the others are people who /think/ theyre really smart (i think im asmart but i also think i am very dumb and i have adhd to prove that MEDICALLY!!!) but are actually not? or their observations arent great? or idk if they are they arent interesting? but i think well..........we have more refined palettes :P

jk also theres just different personalities. you and  i mesh more bc we have a lot of the same beliefs and are coming from the same place. that makes it easier to understand as well. i really try to remember that but some people are really weird so. again just...the perception of certain things even down to acting skills. but i also dont like.......believe this genre can really do anything at all. on one hand i want them to do it right bc it’s a piece of work so they should. be proud of it. cos most things arent advancing us bc representation and culturalism are a lie bla bla. it’s just that when the depictions are negative or not done well it adds to the problem as opposed to the things that are well done are fairly benign and can’t really pull us back (perf example is the black panther film. i woudl definitely not say it was transgressive as a literal work but visually it’s just stunning. and it’s sad that it’s stunning and surprising but still with basically an all black cast of mostly dark people abd like what it means in the zeitgeist yes. it’s also just a good movie. but it’s still imperialist prop and unfortunately and this is fucking pathetic to say it “opened eyes” in other countries where they hate black ppl and ignore their own racialized minorities HENNYWAYSSSS a better ex is moonlight except moonlight isnt mainstream and is indie tho...still thru a funnel of capital bc a24 but who cares bleed the fuckers dry is my motto. my point is moonlight is both a great work and doesnt bring any failures to the table and its existence helps in ways outside of art but they arent the defining things giving us material advancement sooooo i mean it’s complex (this is my conclusion to everything um guys it’s complex) 

er i had one more point in conjunction to above. oh yea so i like dont need all these extra things to make it progressive. like people really want more women in the show and i am honestly like i really dont. i dont want them to actively do this. if they cant do it naturally then let someone else do it. i am not asking for more bc i dont want it from them. when something comes along i embrace it but i do not see why women should be represented when the genre RELIES on patriarchy. there is no complete satisfying existence for the women in these series. i dont want it. i dont ask people to show us~*~* or respect~* like fuck no the people who make it make it and hopefully more will make it in the future but i will not beg bc THEY DONT WANT TO DO IT SO WOULD FORCING IT MAKE IT BETTER? just fucking leave them out entirely. that’s the answer if theyre gonna make nasty female characters then those bitches can geaux. we have other plcaes to be. booked. and. BUSY!

[radhikadevgan-blog]

Just like that.

Its so difficult to understand a human. Why are we here? Why do we have to go through so much pain? Where does it all end? What is our purpose? Where are we all going? Moreover, why do i have these questions? Not everyone think about this, so why some people do? What do i wanna do with the thing people call a life? Why don’t I remember my past painful memories? How am i able to block all of it? Why am i not able to feel anything? Why am i so numb? Actually, i always wanted to feel numb, like a robot. Now that i feel like a machine, why do i want to go back to being human, loaded with emotions and hormones? Why do i feel alive? What is my purpose? Why are people so insensitive to other people’s pain? Why do they say horrible stuff to you? Why don’t they think about your state of mind or how you are feeling or will feel? And why does everyone wants to show off their personalities? How superior they are? How commanding they can be? Why isn’t love the prime emotion? Why does the word humanity mean all the good human traits and ignores all the bad human behaviour, when humans are both good and bad?

Why am i not able to understand anything? Why am i not able to figure out myself? Everything is involuntary. My every action is involuntary. My every thought is out of my control. Why do we have to control our thoughts? I guess thats what make us human. The superior beings. This is our ability, our super power? Are these thoughts, just over complex and modified survival instincts? Are we all just trying to survive? Every second? Does loving someone also a survival guide? Co depending makes it easier to live? I feel, every one of us have this thought in their subconscious mind, that what are we doing? And then we do things that we love or even don’t like to do, to distract ourselves from this inevitable question, to which no one has any answer to.

[plasticgirl2002]

we are the afterlife of the stars.

there is no afterlife. it’s all just one happening. it doesn’t matter what you do because its all just a happening. there’s no afterlife because its just a flow of life and for some strange peculiar reason certain things gravitate to taking an identity and we all feel a sense of I-ness.

what is the force that gives us our instincts/instinctual memory? they come from a previous life, from our ancestors. things they did that were beneficial to remember later in life are now expressed through me. its like a video game, gathering experience, then die and then resurrect and you have some of the useful knowledge of your previous incarnation. people start getting better, everyone gets better, because it forces you to raise the bar and hit that standard. life works the same way. we’re all in this co-collaboration of existence.

our genetic memory is a survival mechanism. our whole personality is survival mechanism. the whole ego is actually an illusion thats why there is no afterlife because there is no individual going anywhere. you are not separate from the air you breathe, from the ground that you are connected to, this is all one thing, this is all one thing happening this sense of individuality that we feel comes from these genetic memories of its good to live in this illusion (to survive from predators) this illusion that are brain produces is a survival mechanism our whole ego works this way for us to survive we’ve built these personas and we take them on as being as being truth, as being reality its not reality you live your reality and i live mine, its a subjective experience. its not the foundation of being.

we are experiencing two aspects of it from a perspective of I-ness and to truly understand all this we’d have to be from an absolute position where everything is one thing which is our source, our essence we come from the stars (science shows this - the materials that make up our body come from exploding stars) the dust of stars gather together like little spirits, and they vibrate and hum the song of life and bop! we are the byproduct of this cosmic song, this cosmic dance through this giant cosmic orchestra happening we are sort of puppeteers of some universal theatrics we come from the stars. 

i don’t know why we stop there? yea, its a beautiful thing to feel and it gives us our power, we come from there and we will go back there but even deeper than that, keep tracing that timeline back, don’t stop at the stars because you’re equally the conditions that made those stars and then those conditions that made those conditions that made those stars and you keep tracing it back and back and back and you get to a point where all things emerge out of a background of silence where all noise creeps through thats what we are; the fingertips of god, the big bang, doesn’t mater what you call it, because its all just words anyways

its the mystery. thats who we are underneath all this person and ego and defense mechanism that we put up to navigate through this world and its fun, why wouldn’t the universe do this? why wouldn’t the universe manifest itself in this way to where it can connect with itself and sort of lose itself in this infinite creative dimension that it just goes. that’s why there is no afterlife because its just going we are safe in the face of eternity what can be taken from us? in the face of eternity, my body is already taken

whatever is happening is mysterious...

[thehoneyjournal]

Legend Lore Entry #3: Fafnir the Dragon

Your vision fades, and as it returns you realize you are sat astride a small horse, a giant of a Tiefling riding a warhorse at least two feet taller than your own next to you, a massive two handed greatsword slung on his back. He rides with a practiced ease, the dusty mid morning sun  illuminating the cobblestone road in front of you. You turn, feeling a lithe elven frame twist in the saddle, looking backwards towards the silver walls of your home as they shrink into the distance.

“What exactly is the point of this excursion, Lethalin?” The Tiefling growls. I am one of the foremost battlemasters of the mercenary’s guild, and I do not take kindly to babysitting a tiny academic such as yourself.”

I frown at the sun, absent mindedly gauging the hours left until sundown, barely acknowledging the rudeness of the meat mountain to my left. 

“Mack, You’re here as a deterrent to bandits, mostly. My magic will be enough protection for us both, but the Order of the Vanir would rather us not kill anyone with our abilities if at all possible.

The Tiefling grunts again, frustration evident with the vagueness of my answer. 

“Thats all well and fine, but why me and not some other intimidating fellow? I was to travel to Geldorcraft to aid in the defense of the city!”

This gets my attention. 

“Did the guild not tell you anything?”

“Well...” I turn to look at Mack, who is squirming in his saddle with what appears to be self consciousness. 

“I may not have been fully listening at the time when they gave my assignment.”

I sigh (quietly- this man has a reputation and a capacity for extreme swiftness and violence).  

“We are to observe the dragon Fafnir and attempt to make contact with him, in order to see if he will aid the conflict in Geldorcraft.”

There's a long silence, for at least a mile if not more before Mack speaks again. 

“And what do we do if the dragon says no to our proposal?”

I shrug- in truth my excitement at getting to see the last dragon in Midgard is somewhat tempered now that I am away from my colleagues and the safety of the city walls. 

“I suppose we will see if your reputation is earned then, Mack.”

This shuts him up for the rest of the day. 

The rhythm of the horse lulls me into a dull trance, which we elves are known for. The faint echo and scent of magic lingers on the air from the north, even this far away, a whiff of sea water and something darker, like sulfur or brimstone.

We stop for the night, setting a fire. I find a small stream, filling a pot with water before starting the fire with flint and steel. I feel Mack’s eyes on me, as well as the all too common question coming. 

“Lethalin?”

“Yes?”

“Why aren’t you using magic to do all that?”

I grin, a memory of Allana’s teachings coming to my mind from when I was but a sapling, being trained in the great halls of the Order of the Vanir.

“Mack, do you shave with your greatsword?”

He pulls back, a look of confusion on his broad, light purple face.

“What? No! Of course not, that would be impractical and dangerous!”

I wait, but see no resolution or realization in his features. I gesture to the water, which has begun to steam and bubble gently in the night air. 

“The fire’s hot. The water’s boiling. Simple tasks don’t require dangerous tools. I won’t use my powers for the same reason you won’t use that cleaver on your back to rid yourself of morning stubble. It’s.... what's the word? Overkill.”

Mack’s expression clears.

“That makes sense, I suppose. Like I can’t lift the heaviest weights possible every time I train, or I’d hurt myself!”

I nod, a quick grin crossing my mouth. 

“Yep, that’s it exactly”, I say lightly, my tone giving nothing away.

The following 3 days pass without incident, and I find myself enjoying this warrior’s company. He frequently asks questions about life as a magic user, how it works, what it means to me, and other probing questions. I confess, I began to enjoy his company. 

Then we met the dragon. 

On the third day, there’s a dull rumble in the air- Mack and I are both on edge, seeing the dull red glow in the distance of Geldorcraft. The last messages had told us that the Goddess had ripped the demon limb from limb and that he had run from the field, but his followers had apparently gone into a frenzy for days after the hell spawns ignoble retreat, and the city’s fate was still very much in the balance.

As it turns out, the rumble was not the battle in the city.

Do you know the collective noun for a group of dragons? The word has not been used for a century, not since the grand culling of the wyrms by our Aesir protectors. The word is a ‘thunder’ of dragons. 

I submit to you that a single dragon is enough to warrant this word’s use.

I thought the sky had cracked open, as a blast of wind sent our horses into a panic, throwing me from the saddle, the breath whooshing from my lungs. Mack collected his reins, setting his horse expertly, drawing the sword over his shoulder in a practiced motion, holding it easily in a single hand, facing against a mountain of black scales and wings the size of a galleons sails.

Mack jumps off his mount, his armor causing him to land heavily on both feet. His voice is deceptively calm. 

“Lethalin? Now’s a good time to get on your feet. Maybe even to use some dangerous tools.”

I stumble up, feeling a bruise already forming on both legs and my side. For the first and last time in my life, I observe the majesty of a fully grown dragon.

Fafnir’s scales are so black they appear to absorb light. At different times they appear as sleek black steel, other times stone. His teeth are as long as Mack’s sword, his claws the same, and both look sharper as his claws have carved furrows into the stone below him just from standing. A glow at the back of his throat signals to that most famous ability of dragons. His wings spread to either side for nearly 50 or 60 feet. His eyes, shockingly, are a piercing green, and each one is as tall as Mack is. I can feel the magic radiating off of this creature like a furnace, and for a moment I doubt our plan. My fear is forgotten a moment later as an impossibly Deep voice rings out from behind the teeth, the dragon’s mouth and tongue somehow framing language better than I ever have.

“Greetings, Men of The East. I welcome

You to my domain, the vast grasslands of Fafnir, last and greatest of the dragons in Midgard.”

I swallow, feeling the lump in my throat. Mack has stood up out of his fighting crouch, the sword hanging from nerveless fingers, some fell magic working on him, numbing him with fear. I feel it to, but fight it down, saying:

“Greetings to you, Fafnir, son of Bolin. Well met, and we acknowledge your greatness. We come bearing gifts for your treasure hoard, and a request if you will allow us smaller beings to take up any more of your time this day.”

A mischievous light flares, and a breath of wind whuffs from the dragon’s mouth, nearly knocking us flat.

“Oho! Flattery! Tis only natural, for I am nature’s fury in all it’s glory and mastery. Your compliments are well received, young one. What is this gift you have brought me?”

My hands are shaking as I produce a tome

from my bag of holding, written in draconic. I hold it up, stepping forward, feeling the ground shake as the dragon brings one its eyes around to blink slowly and peruse my gift. It reads aloud, seeming to savor the syllables rolling off it’s tongue.

“A complete genealogy of the dragons- 8th edition. A good gift, a fine gift! Perhaps now this rumor and legend of me once being a dwarf will now be put to rest once and for all.”

I nod, breathless. The eye suddenly locks back on me. 

“And your.... request?”

I swallow my fear, my voice cracking as I blurt out:

“We wish for you to help us find and kill the one they call Prusias, and to help defend the city of Geldorcraft.”

What can only be described as a frown crosses Fafnir’s face.

“I cannot do this, hatchling. No- I will not. Tell me, who is the leader of your coastal city?” 

I wince. “Njord,” I say.

The majestic beast bends down, its eye level with mine once more.

“I can tell you know why this is a problem. Those Aesir destroyed my race. I am alone in the world because of them. My brothers and sisters have left for other realms to avoid extinction. Our race will survive, but we were made here, and our ancestral home is now forever denied for us. So ask me for any other boon, hatchling. I cannot grant what you ask.”

Tears cloud my eyes, and I feel a breath of wind on my cheek before the voice rumbles once more, quietly, filled with sympathy.

“I have watched your race’s persecution with great sadness in my heart, little one. Your kind are so long lived and mysterious to those who don’t understand what centuries do to a person. I am glad that you have found acceptance with your companion here. It gives me hope that you two legs will work things out someday.”

I swipe my hand furiously across my face, hoping that Mack can’t see me- a quick glance confirms the sword is now on the ground, his eyes entirely vacant with fear and whatever magic is clouding his mind.

“Will he be okay?” My voice sounds small even to my ears now. A earth rattling chuckle.

“Yes. He will likely remember this as a terrible dream.”

I look up at the dragon once more. A kinship fills my heart, and I instinctively reach out towards the dragon, touching the scales below it’s jaw. They are warm to the touch, like sunkissed rocks, and i scratch along the jaw, right where I would if Fafnir was a cat. 

The green eyes close, and a dull rumble fills the air, a humming that is nearly subsonic, felt but not heard. I do not press my luck or ask again for the favor. The dragon gently grabs the manuscript from where it lays on the ground, somehow cradling it in a paw. It inclines its head to me before launching into the air, knocking Mack and I flat to the ground as it climbs into the air. I watch it leave, unsure if I’ve done the right thing. It feels right. The wounds of a hundred years ago are still fresh to beings like me and Fafnir, and I understand his reasons. That will have to be enough.

[graylit]

𝚙𝚕𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚢 𝚍𝚎𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚕 & 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 : 𝚙𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚞𝚖𝚊, 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍 𝚊𝚋𝚞𝚜𝚎/𝚊𝚋𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝/𝚗𝚎𝚐𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝, 𝚊𝚗𝚡𝚒𝚎𝚝𝚢, 𝚍𝚎𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗, 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚜, 𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚞𝚕𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛, 𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚎𝚌𝚝.    NOT  FOR  REBLOG !!!! ( unless you’re aloy )

REY  IS  NOT  OKAY, lets kick this clusterfuck of emotional content off with that! She is a ball of anxiety, depression, and low self esteem all wrapped up in spiky armor. She’s basically a lil hedgehog curled up in a ball protecting her soft tummy, which is how she’s lived most of her life until the events of TFA. This doesn’t make her WEAK in any way shape or form. In fact, it’s the pillar of strength that keeps her pressing onward. She is vulnerable and tender underneath the spikes she built to survive a world where softness doesn’t survive or exist.

We’re gonna start with the obvious here  ABANDONMENT  and work our way up down this painful laundry list. Now, many adopted children that are in loving and wonderful homes are still liable to feelings of abandonment or low self-esteem (  this varies from person to people ofc. the adoptees I have known over the years are an even split down the middle  )  ‘why wouldn’t my parents want me? am I not good enough? did I do something wrong? ect’ These are children placed in healthy environments with people that love and want them and those dreadful creeping feelings still exist. Now imagine quite literally WATCHING your parents on a hot and dead planet with a stranger, zooming off into space never to be seen again! If you can garner such lifelong & potentially damaging feelings in a place thats wonderful, imagine knowing and remembering their departure.

That is so goddamn WOUNDING and traumatic that she has no other choice but to bury that pain. It’s a survival instinct. It’s the mind and body protecting you from something too terrible for a child her age to cope with. So she goes on autopilot and clings to the hope of SOMEDAY because she has no other choice.  Trauma like that erases memories, especially in children as young as Rey. 

ANXIETY?  Heaps of it. Constantly. About nearly everything whether she is able to express if or not. There’s a chance she’ll miss her fam if she’s away from Jakku? Panic attack. There’s a chance her AT-AT might be ransacked by thieves in her absence? Panic Attack. You’re headed off somewhere without her? Panic attack. It might be mild at the start, but years down the road now that she’s away from the child labor camp daycare it will hit her full force. Finn will say he has to go off planet, he has to go SOMEWHERE alone and he promises he’ll be back. Her stomach would give a sick and ugly jolt but he had never lied to her before so she bites her tongue and waits. She HATES herself for the relief she feels at his swift return, how weak it makes her feel against a feeling she has no control over. Anyone she has ever grown close to is subject to these feelings, this fear. With Han being murdered right before her eyes she’s utterly shattered and can’t help but expect her loved ones to disappear.

Lets talk about that good ol soul crushing  DEPRESSION !! When the excitement dies down, when you’re heart stops pounding and you’re still for some unforeseen amount of time, it sets in like a weight. When there’s nothing let to be anxious about and the stillness takes ahold. Whether she was laying awake in her AT-AT on Jakku or curled up in her bed on D’Qar / Ahch-To / The Falcon, it is so heavy it nearly crushes her. The moments she doesn’t spend every second fighting to survive are foreign and agonizing. Being surrounded by wonderful friends and adoptive family is fantastic, sure. But depression doesn’t give a fuck how great things are going. It eats and eats at you until you cease to exist. She’s whittled away during the night, reborn every morning, ready to expend all of her energy on work so she can forget.

SELF ESTEEM? where do we download that? reiterating the abandonment issues ‘my own parents didn’t want me, why would anyone else? what did i do wrong? what if i do it again and people leave me?’ an endless stream of consciousness that makes her ache. Rey doesn’t wallow though, not for long and certainly not where anyone can see her. That’s where those lil hedgehog spikes come in handy. She doesn’t need anyone! She’s spelt well over a decade by herself, she doesn’t need to let anyone in. But God she wants to. She’s so tired of being hurt and left behind. She WANTS to be chosen for once, so much so that the girl wary of all physical contact throws her arms around the boy that came to rescue her. Does she deserve it? Is she worth all that trouble? She doesn’t know but she thanks her lucky stars someone things she is.

Last but not least that good ol OCD ‘cause if you think she stopped scratching lil tallies into places or counting down the days you are WRONG. When a habit that important and kept so devotedly, it doesn’t just go away. None of her little ‘quirks’ do and she will go into a full blown panic if they are not completed. Rey missing a tally? She’ll lose track of the days that go by in her head, she’ll lose track of her family, she’ll miss them! That feeling would have been double on Jakku, especially if she was trapped somewhere or away for an unspecified amount of time.

Every single ill that has befallen her, every abhorrent thing she has suffered and quickly swept away in order to survive will come back sevenfold down the line. The body keeps score and boy has she racked up a SIGNIFICANT number. This shit does not go away with a hug and a new life. This will follow her until her dying day, which if left untreated by a mental health expert, could be sooner rather than later. If you honest to God think that Rey would okay in any capacity with whoever left her, that a normal relationship would ensue in the near future, than you have no concept of mental health or trauma or this character in general. 

On the subject of  PARENTAGE & LUKE SKYWALKER since that is still a terribly unfortunate theory ; I cannot think of a faster way to send either of them dark side. Not only does it destroy any integrity Luke had, but it would send Rey SPRINTING in the opposite direction. There is no reason good enough to abandon your child to a life of starvation and hard labor and deep down Rey knows this. There are hints that her parents are dark siders, people that lived and possibly worked on Jakku for the Empire which would make sense given its history. That being the case she’s much more likely to stay were she is, not fleeing to a middle ground or to the opposite side which would happen if the former came true. Her outlook would be tainted because why would a HERO, a GOOD MAN leave her to suffer alone? No matter her lineage, the relationship with her birth parents is FRACTURED. No matter how much she wants them, they have sewn seeds of mistrust in her heart that will take DECADES to undo. With her new family in the resistance, in FINN, she doesn’t need anyone else. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.  She’s found her family in friends and that is far more profound than any blood relatives.

[rubendrabagdash-blog]

HUMANITY "Exist when you fathom Thyself"

"LIFE WOULD TURNED EASIER WHEN YOU START TO UNDERSTAND THYSELF RATHER THAN COMPREHENDING WHAT SYSTEM IS TELLING YOU TO" (*World would be Better place*) Actually life so simple ain't it? We take birth & grow naturally Just like the seed of trees and plant We are sown in different place of a huge garden(Earth). Some may be placed at the top of hill some may be down the low on foot hills, some may receive higher intensity of sunlight some may receive Rain and vice versa... Which shaped them and their physique and colour but at the end What matter is either you blossom or not? What fruit you bear? How it taste? So it's to fragile and stupidity to feel one superior than other. We come here with a consent of love. They let you come with heart full of love. Just like Sun your father would be there to light you.. Just like moon your mother would be there to nurture you. Water in the form of love To quench your thirst. Don't you forget within you, Just like in mother nature Rivers flow in the form of bloods through your veins. Your mind is just like the galaxies Where thoughts keeps on blinking Just like lights thats blinks in an universe. That's is why you become what you think at the end of day. Just like in galaxies when two light or an energy strikes and one new energy or the light is created. You are that energy: you are that light. You are sparks.!!! You are here to ignite this world. Don't let some force to irradiate you to reduce your sparks. Well every individual is nature itself. All we need is little food to survive. Naturally we would know what we have to do in order to survive as we grow up. We follow principles just like Nature follow law of universe. Our family and people who had engulfed us start to teach us Good habit, to respect, to read, to write but we start to think automatically, we start to taste things naturally, smell and yes to listen accurately. It happen naturally right? Nobody need to taught us how to taste, to hear, to smell. We go same old school carrying Bag full of book, load which we couldn't able to handle well. At very early age the weight of the bag deciphered the weight of this world and hurdles of it. Right form the beginning we are bounded by system. Which we need to follow. Just few days back while I was discussing about Homeo corpus(Human). My fren told me that we are only species in this whole world who have to pay money in order to survive to live. For a while it made me me feel fuck. Yes it's insane!! But as I ponder over and over again I penance that human is only one species who got neo cortex someone who can think and He is most civilised among all. Its because May be he lived in a system. Which make him more advanced then any other species. Than I realize system might be imperative to manage this whole wide world. Just imagine how one manager would manage huge shopping Mall if there is no set of algorithm? Similarly imagine how people would react if there would be no rules and principles. So in someway we are intend to stay within some horizon we need to rely on principle. But "To let the system to overpower you is like letting the hurricane to blow you wherever it want"... We are following system since long. Remember there was a time when people used to say tuberculosis is contagious and even my mother used to alert me to stay away from those people who are infected with such disease but later on we realised its not contagious. Actually the things is if we don't have proper knowledge about something we would believe and follow it blindly what someone is detecting to us. That's what happening here in this world. We are bound to follow what is appearing in our way... We seek for happiness... We go to pubs to have good time? We takes drugs just to pass time.. You roam around with 10 girls and vice versa... People get drunk to make memories to have good time But forget to make memories being fresh.. Do you really feel alive from within? Do you think you are here just to have good time? We just follow what everyone else is doing right from the beginning we are only taught to learn what is happening around us. Just to follow footsteps of other. We often hear "Happiness start within you" We read motivational books we watch motivational videos to motivates ourselves but still at the end you lack in so many things. We follow different kind of religions to keep ourself spirutally strong. Still we don't feel serenity at all. All we say is this world is degrading and has been endangered which is just an excuse. Life seem mess and Hard....Why? It's just because we are just following what other person is saying or the system is telling us to follow. Forgetting who we really are.?? We aren't remote controller car dear? We are here to devise to know ourself to ignite. But its vulnerable to see people being controlled by remote of system of different kind like.. Acquiring power, wealth, greed etc... Nowadays; we are more captivated to devilish things. It fascinates us more than anything. I have seen good guys gone bad and crazy not because he wilt to be but because he couldn't control himself over the hurricane. That devilish wind shut down the flames which he/she were giften with. We know so many things; we carry the world in our hand; we have different kind of knowledge but do you really know who you are? Do you really think you need such motivation from other to tell you to do something? Have you lost yourself with the noise of all those peculiar sound that is coming from an outside world? Are you being true with yourself or are you just being kind of imitating Robot here just doing what someone want you to do? Or just pretending to be happy? Escaping yourself and doing formalities which majority are doing. We often here people saying life is becoming hard though technologies is making everything easier. Don't you think it's we who is making it more difficult & complicated because; We say we are best friend though actually inside ( I don't like you ) We drink while we are in a group just because to adjust to fit in a group we take weed to fit in a group. We smile just for a while. But everytime when you do this you go 10 steps away from yourself and world become 100 times complicated because your every action counts love. You count, you are special, you are one of a kind don't let the noise of this world to make you deaf and blind. Know thyself; understand yourself. Life start with you and end with you. Everything from life to death is distraction to make you forget who you really are. So do you really let it make you forget who you are...? Look within yourself you are beautiful manifestation of this universe; you hold the power of nature within you recognize it. Don't just read same old story written by some other. Write your own give different story of your to universe. Trust your own instinct be who you really is. Don't let other voices and noices to demoralize you. Be true with yourself life is so simple. Talk with yourself stay true alive... Don't live within a boundary coz you are infinite; Don't just follow do it in your own style. Find yourself here... Don't just live stay Alive. **THANK you so much for reading***... I hope you know yourself now.... Know thyself to make this world better place to live.....^^ # Respect thyself # Love yourself # Life would turned out beautiful journey and world would turned better place to live**

[rubendra-blog]

HUMAN EVOLUTION-"Know thyself"

"LIFE WOULD TURNED EASIER WHEN YOU START TO UNDERSTAND THYSELF RATHER THAN COMPREHENDING WHAT SYSTEM IS TELLING YOU TO" (*World would be Better place*) Actually life so simple ain't it? We take birth & grow naturally Just like the seed of trees and plant We are sown in different place of a huge garden(Earth). Some may be placed at the top of hill some may be down the low on foot hills, some may receive higher intensity of sunlight some may receive Rain and vice versa... Which shaped them and their physique and colour but at the end What matter is either you blossom or not? What fruit you bear? How it taste? So it's to fragile and stupidity to feel one superior than other. We come here with a consent of love. They let you come with heart full of love. Just like Sun your father would be there to light you.. Just like moon your mother would be there to nurture you. Water in the form of love To quench your thirst. Don't you forget within you, Just like in mother nature Rivers flow in the form of bloods through your veins. Your mind is just like the galaxies Where thoughts keeps on blinking Just like lights thats blinks in an universe. That's is why you become what you think at the end of day. Just like in galaxies when two light or an energy strikes and one new energy or the light is created. You are that energy: you are that light. You are sparks.!!! You are here to ignite this world. Don't let some force to irradiate you to reduce your sparks. Well every individual is nature itself. All we need is little food to survive. Naturally we would know what we have to do in order to survive as we grow up. We follow principles just like Nature follow law of universe. Our family and people who had engulfed us start to teach us Good habit, to respect, to read, to write but we start to think automatically, we start to taste things naturally, smell and yes to listen accurately. It happen naturally right? Nobody need to taught us how to taste, to hear, to smell. We go same old school carrying Bag full of book, load which we couldn't able to handle well. At very early age the weight of the bag deciphered the weight of this world and hurdles of it. Right form the beginning we are bounded by system. Which we need to follow. Just few days back while I was discussing about Homeo corpus(Human). My fren told me that we are only species in this whole world who have to pay money in order to survive to live. For a while it made me me feel fuck. Yes it's insane!! But as I ponder over and over again I penance that human is only one species who got neo cortex someone who can think and He is most civilised among all. Its because May be he lived in a system. Which make him more advanced then any other species. Than I realize system might be imperative to manage this whole wide world. Just imagine how one manager would manage huge shopping Mall if there is no set of algorithm? Similarly imagine how people would react if there would be no rules and principles. So in someway we are intend to stay within some horizon we need to rely on principle. But "To let the system to overpower you is like letting the hurricane to blow you wherever it want"... We are following system since long. Remember there was a time when people used to say tuberculosis is contagious and even my mother used to alert me to stay away from those people who are infected with such disease but later on we realised its not contagious. Actually the things is if we don't have proper knowledge about something we would believe and follow it blindly what someone is detecting to us. That's what happening here in this world. We are bound to follow what is appearing in our way... We seek for happiness... We go to pubs to have good time? We takes drugs just to pass time.. You roam around with 10 girls and vice versa... People get drunk to make memories to have good time But forget to make memories being fresh.. Do you really feel alive from within? Do you think you are here just to have good time? We just follow what everyone else is doing right from the beginning we are only taught to learn what is happening around us. Just to follow footsteps of other. We often hear "Happiness start within you" We read motivational books we watch motivational videos to motivates ourselves but still at the end you lack in so many things. We follow different kind of religions to keep ourself spirutally strong. Still we don't feel serenity at all. All we say is this world is degrading and has been endangered which is just an excuse. Life seem mess and Hard....Why? It's just because we are just following what other person is saying or the system is telling us to follow. Forgetting who we really are.?? We aren't remote controller car dear? We are here to devise to know ourself to ignite. But its vulnerable to see people being controlled by remote of system of different kind like.. Acquiring power, wealth, greed etc... Nowadays; we are more captivated to devilish things. It fascinates us more than anything. I have seen good guys gone bad and crazy not because he wilt to be but because he couldn't control himself over the hurricane. That devilish wind shut down the flames which he/she were giften with. We know so many things; we carry the world in our hand; we have different kind of knowledge but do you really know who you are? Do you really think you need such motivation from other to tell you to do something? Have you lost yourself with the noise of all those peculiar sound that is coming from an outside world? Are you being true with yourself or are you just being kind of imitating Robot here just doing what someone want you to do? Or just pretending to be happy? Escaping yourself and doing formalities which majority are doing. We often here people saying life is becoming hard though technologies is making everything easier. Don't you think it's we who is making it more difficult & complicated because; We say we are best friend though actually inside ( I don't like you ) We drink while we are in a group just because to adjust to fit in a group we take weed to fit in a group. We smile just for a while. But everytime when you do this you go 10 steps away from yourself and world become 100 times complicated because your every action counts love. You count, you are special, you are one of a kind don't let the noise of this world to make you deaf and blind. Know thyself; understand yourself. Life start with you and end with you. Everything from life to death is distraction to make you forget who you really are. So do you really let it make you forget who you are...? Look within yourself you are beautiful manifestation of this universe; you hold the power of nature within you recognize it. Don't just read same old story written by some other. Write your own give different story of your to universe. Trust your own instinct be who you really is. Don't let other voices and noices to demoralize you. Be true with yourself life is so simple. Talk with yourself stay true alive... Don't live within a boundary coz you are infinite; Don't just follow do it in your own style. Find yourself here... Don't just live stay Alive. **THANK you so much for reading***... I hope you know yourself now.... Know thyself to make this world better place to live.....^^ # Respect thyself # Love yourself # Life would turned out beautiful journey and