#and the burnout part of my gifted-kid ness

[thegoldenavenger]

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part three of the Swiftening where i listen to all of Taylor’s albums so i can better connect with my swifty friends and also because i just spent like 7 days sick and would now like to not remember that

We are still on Taylor Swift’s self titlet album from 2006.  Last time we listened to A Place in this World, Cold as You, and The Outside.  I really liked A Place in this World and The Outside as songs that aren’t necessarily romantic! Even if The Outside was a little confusing with some of the phrases used as lyrics.

The next song up to bat is Tied Together With A Smile

oh the violin intro is back that’s nice!

Ahh it’s a 2nd person pov that’s so cool! My good friend sapphicscience let me know she interpreted The Outside as a kind of Not-Fitting-In-With-Others(girls) kind of song, which, in retrospect makes a lot of sense. luckily i fit in with my eclectic friend group so i didn’t relate much to that reading BUT i like that the theme is carried on here because this feels like a classic kind of “you don’t know you’re beautiful” kind of song except instead of an unattainable boy telling you that it’s taylor swift! that’s fun!

okay not a second person pov but still cool because she’s doing that like, uh, this is an incredibly niche example but chara-as-narrator-theory where taylor is narrating your experience but is still a character in the narrative. it’s actually really fitting with Teardrops on my Guitar, where she is pining from afar and not really noticed AND the previous track The Outside where she is set (physically?) a part from being able to reach out and communicate. She is separate from the subject of the songs narratively and here she is separate from the subject of the song through her choice of POV. it’s a nice theme and reflection on the album!

so because sappicscience let me in on the highschool-ness-of-it-all i’m gonna go ahead and say this is, like, either taylor talking about herself but removing the perceived closeness of personal pronouns by singing in a semi-2nd person pov, OR she is dedicating this to the other Weird Girls by commiserating with these experiences?

i said before but high school and teenagerdom is a liminal space where everything feels super intense all the time probably, so it makes sense using language like “jumping into [high water]” and it be a metaphor for, like, diving head first into experiences you’re unsure about. (retroactively, those lines about ‘not caring if she’d died for you’ and ‘you should’ve noticed now it’s too late’ does make sense in a dramatic teenage feelings way? it was just jarring at the time) it definitely isn’t my first instinct to interpret it this way because i think Taylor Swift’s high school experience was very unlike my own but that’s okay.

i think she might be just singing about herself but from a removed perspective creating a narrative that can be projected on if you’re so inclined.  I could definitely see this being about stress about her first album and singles and be worried about her performance, but it could also easily be about that quote unquote gifted kid burnout and such

where elementary school and/or middle school you’re doing great (and it doesn’t have to be academically, it could be socially or physically) and then graduating to higher grades starts stress testing your ability to continue being good at things.  gifted kids can burn out academically, jocks grow out of their sports, social cliques start rearranging, etc. so “the golden one” could be a metaphor for anything when your a teenager, honestly, so anyone could theoretically relate to this song, especially because feeling unseen and like you’re showing a brave face but feel badly enough that other should be able to see that you need help is a really relatable feeling. OH that’s what The Outside meant, okay I see it now.

ooooh i love this line.  It couples nicely with A Place in this World’s “I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve” but adding a more jaded angle. giving away love like extra change is an awesome metaphor.  like, the images it implies.  giving away love as charity? throwing away this major piece of yourself like it’s insignificant. sharing a part of yourself in a way that’s not detrimental to your own life to help someone else in an impactful way. from the context i think it’s more like, tossing a coin in a wishing fountain hoping to attract more (love) as opposed to like, giving your change to someone begging or busking as an act of charity or appreciation, because i... wouldnt want the almost disparaging tone to reflect on her views about giving as charity?

the way it’s phrased is like, “you’re naive to think you would get back what you’ve given” which isn’t the point of charity so i hope that’s not the metaphor.

ohhhh so yes most definitely like throwing change in a wishing well, or blowing on dandelion fuzz. 

okay, lyrically, i really LOVE this extended metaphor. “it’s not his price to pay, it’s not his price to pay” is so good. this really gives off, again, that investment in a relationship where both parties are not getting the same that they put into it. IE taylor is giving and is not receiving enough, if anything, back. penny in the rain is a good way to phrase it, and it ties that weather theme from previous songs back into this one. 

the outro is repeated chorus

i do like a lot of the world play in this one, not just the change metaphor but “you’re tied together with a smile” is extremely good.  it’s a four minute song but i wish we got another verse instead of two choruses. i think it’s some of the best writing so far in the album. definitely a sleeper favorite.

that’s a way to end the song.

Now onto Stay Beautiful!

Cory! who’s cory? i’m so glad i don’t know a cory or this would be a Teardrops on my Guitar song all over again.

so normally I would say, i don’t understand how you can compare a smile to a radio but since we’ve established in A Place In This World that radios (and blue jeans) are comfort items for Taylor we can appreciate these lines!

Cory’s eyes may or may not be green but they’re definitely wild and enticing possibly hot and his smile is nostalgic and comforting like turning the radio on in your own beat up truck (about to take the road less traveled by)

this isn’t fair because i’ve listened to Our Song already (of course) but my first thought was the “tappin’ on your window” as a thematic couple with this. i think Our Song is near the end of the album or the end of the album so i wonder if there’s continued window-themes in the intervening songs?  The Outside has windows as an implied theme, i think. Outside-looking-in often evokes window images even if they aren’t in the lyrics explicitly. 

this is interesting! i wonder if it’s another “you better cherish him because i would if i had him” song like Teardrops on my Guitar but from a slightly different perspective? it looks like taylor is already with Cory, because he’s whispering songs into her window and the other pretty girls are jealous.

oh no, that’s really cute? so the pretty girls on every corner are telling Taylor that she’s beautiful and she’s gonna be someone?

wait, so azlyrics has the quote around “does he know?” end quote and then it leaps into what i’m assuming is the chorus so is, taylor telling the pretty girls they’re beautiful and gonna be someone and that she wants them to come back to her?

she bounces back to cory now, so maybe the chorus was about cory?  i guess she was meaning it that way because she goes back to the chorus without any other characters intervening in the story.  that’s totally fine but a pretty interesting way to phrase it, since it really gives off pining vibes instead of together vibes. which, i thought taylor and cory were together since he is, once again, whispering songs into her window.

oh it is a pining song, they aren’t together i guess. ahhhh the potentiality of it all. potentiality / potential energy is my FAVORITE trope in relationships. i love that pause before the actual moment. the suspense, the build up. the spaces between my fingers could be filled with yours, but we don’t know if they will be! it’s just a possibility!! nice

so i guess she’s waiting for him to live his life and everything before realising that what he was looking for was right there all along. another very classic country vibe. i do like the positivity of it all. there’s so much well-wishing here, it’s very wholesome content.  less melancholic than Teardrops on my Guitar.  again, the same theme of not speaking up and telling him she likes him.  at least with drew it was understandable because he was already dating someone, but cory seems like he’s unattached?

interesting the communication barriers in taylor’s music.

i do want to say that this bit in the chorus is healing after the change metaphor last track.  having so much love is beautiful! it’s not naive or childish. :>

Should’ve Said No

the title is concerning, i’m concerned

The opening is familiar, but i think it’s the country instruments being played in a country song instead of subverted or replaced or remixed is pinging my nostalgia cortex

oooh break up song! i really liked the relatively hopeful streak of songs we had about commiserating and well-wishing, but this sounds like it’ll be cathartic! still concerned about the song title.

this is NOT helping my amount of concerned with the song title...

obviously datemate has done something terrible and shouldn’t have so what is it. nothing done (directly) to taylor since she had to find out about it.

it’s about cheating! okay. much less concerned about the title. and i was right! this is a bop of a chorus!! very, like, carrie underwood-esque i’m about to tear up your nice car. can definitely imagine this on a karaoke roster. i hope she gets a little vengeful about it!!! one of my favorite country genres is the woman-scorned-revenge song!!

good to see she is carrying on the theme of sticking to her guns from Cold as You.  do not let him back! good job! back into the chorus and i will say

this flows so nicely. rhyming word with her’d is hilarious but work and it feels very “i heard through the grapevine” i really like how punchy it is too. really gels with the tone and mood of the song.

oh NO

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

im ending this here im having EMOTIONS

[that-crow-kid]

therapy? no, no, just hurt!jake peralta fanfiction

[lucyninjawife]

I'm So Over It....... When Self Care Isn't Consistent

We are officially in the part of the summer that I’m over. I’m over mowing the grass, picking up the yard from the Hubs and his many unfinished projects of building and organizing. I’m over trying to keep the plants alive that sit in the dirt sun because they need to be watered when it’s cool outside, and that just simply collides with me not having my coffee yet and my daily dose of Wendy Williams….well, when she’s not on hiatus.

Summer is NOT my favorite season. Spring and Fall are. And when it’s almost Fall I get in the Disney spirit. That’s because I have an addiction… that I’m not seeking help with btw (by the way) and as the years go by I’m getting better at the planning process and doing new things. Like this year I decided to get the meal plan, only because my two youngest eat like grown men and I feel like if we don’t have to concentrate of feeding people we can carry on with finding nice personal gifts.

I haven’t been feeling like myself lately….well that’s been true for officially 10yrs… that’s how old Gianna is. Yes, for those who don’t know, she kicked over all the shelves and furniture of my mind and rearranged my mental chemistry forever.

I’m BURNED-OUT!!!!

Although I love Amazon and late night internet shopping, there is not enough money in the world to conquer burn out. I have had some change of scenery this summer, thanks to the Hubs taking most of the summer off and having some family adventures. But when I get back home, I IMMEDIATELY feel the feeling of Groundhog Day…aka overwhelm of regular-ness.

I became a SAHM/WAHM about 10yrs ago. Well..13yrs because I started a home childcare when Danica was a baby because my job wasn’t as satisfying and I NEEDED to be my own boss. I am grateful that the fruits of me nd the Hub’s labor has paid off….but now I just need to get over this nagging regularness and depression.

I have gotten so burnout from “doing”. It doesn’t matter what it is… I’m sick of it BEFORE it happens. I haven’t been writing, reading like I normally would, and I have officially said officially a lot… but I’ve officially watched all the shows I care to binge on, and now I’m awaiting the arrival of Power, Ray Donovan, and something else that I can’t remember.

I, unlike other parents get to miss their kids, or family…. me….I wake up they are there, I go to sleep they are there. Everybody NEEDS me, I solve lots of their problems. I’m their personal secretary, doctor, counselor, nurse, Lyft, hairstylist let me tell ya…. and I just don’t want to be for a while.

I admit. I have really FAILED on the self care task for myself. I do things for myself BUT it’s almost after I have pulled out all of the hair I have left.

I have been a stickler for making sure I get my nails done for about 4yrs….. and maybe that’s about all I’ve really been consistent about.

What are your favorite self care routines? Please share so I can try them. Maybe I will feature them on my IG Stories.