#and the girlfriend kept insisting but he refused so she went and bought them herself and then she stopped speaking to the guy

[dragoncarrion]

My favorite type of AITA posts are ones where the op is very crearly being a piece of shit and the comments are just flaming them to hell and back

[novamirmirsblog]

Favourite crime pt 2

Natasha Romanoff x reader

Word Count: 2936

Genre: angsty fluff? or fluffy angst 👀

Request: yes

Warnings: swearing, mentions of cheating, slight coercion into sex (it doesn't happen tho)

Part 1 is here

A/n: The long awaited part two is officially here. I had lots of people who wanted the reader to move on, people who wanted them to get back together and people who wanted both. Thank you everyone for your INDECISIVENESS (kidding. ily). Also Emma was a randomly generated name - I'm sorry :3

Did I write this fic instead of sleeping? Yes. I have no regrets.

It had been a year since you moved back home. The seasons had come and gone and with that, so had your thoughts of Natasha. The same could not be said for the assassin. She had spent a blissful 3 months with Bruce before he had dropped off the face of the Earth and she was missing you. By the 5th month, she had stopped moping about and tried to find you. She searched everywhere but your town was large and unfamiliar and you didn’t want to be found.

Natasha both regretted what she had said and didn't. She regretted it because she realised just how much she adored you once she saw all the areas Bruce fell short in. You knew her better than she sometimes knew herself. You knew when to back off and when to put pressure on. You knew when she needed control and when you needed to take control. You knew when she wanted ice cream or when she wanted brownies. Bruce didn't. However, a part of her didn't regret those nasty things she said because she really didn't deserve you. You were everything she wasn’t, and she didn't know how to measure up to you.

She never voiced these concerns and so they festered and grew until she believed the only way out was to cheat. She knew that was the only thing that could drive you away. Natasha had told you all about her past, how she believed the Red Room had stripped her of her humanity – of her choice whether to become a mother. She knew there were other ways to have children - of course there were, but she hated the fact they had taken that option from her.

You were not like Natasha. You voiced your concerns which is why she knew exactly what to say and do to get you to hate her. Your previous boyfriend had cheated on you with your once best friend. You had watched as your father cheated on your mother and how that made her a hollow shell for a while, her never understanding why the man she loved could hurt her in that way. Supposedly, everyone models their future relationships on what their parents’ relationship looked like. Perhaps that’s why you kept choosing the cheaters. You were content with where you were. You had a forest, a busy town, and a beach all within a 15-mile radius of your house. You were far enough from civilisation that you could forget about reality for a while but close enough to occasionally dip back in whenever you wanted to.

You had kept in contact with Tony and Pepper, congratulating them on the arrival of Morgan and insisting that they should visit. You also continued to occasionally talk to Wanda when Carol was off world. Carol was overjoyed when she found out you had started dating someone new.

You had met Emma when you were taking a dip back into reality at the local supermarket. Her blonde hair vaguely reminded you of a woman you used to know, and you guessed that’s why you felt drawn to her. It wasn’t the electrical crackle that stole your breath away like your first meeting with Natasha, but it was something. Emma could occasionally be a little controlling, but you guessed that’s what normal relationships were like. She didn’t like you going to bars or pubs anymore and you certainly weren’t allowed in any clubs. You didn’t mind it too much as you hardly minded giving up a few nights out if it meant you could have something that resembled normalcy.

“Who’s that?” Emma asked, your face illuminated from your phone as the ding rang out.

“A friend. He’s bringing his wife and new baby over tomorrow and was reminding me to baby-proof the house.” You smiled lightly as you texted Tony back. You hadn’t mentioned to Emma that you were an ex-avenger, but it just kept slipping your mind.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Who is he? Where will he be staying?”

“I just forgot. Sorry. He’ll be staying here.”

“But you only have a single bed.”

“Yeah. I was planning to sleep on that and Tony, Pepper and the baby can stay in my room.”

“You mean our room.”

You said nothing, too engrossed in arguing with Tony about how under no circumstances will there be any celery in your house. Apparently, that was the wrong thing to do.

“Our room, right Y/n?”

“Um yeah.” You wave her off was apparently your second mistake, but you didn’t multi-task too well and so half answers were all you were good for while texting.

“I have been your girlfriend for 3 months Y/n. The least you could do is answer me properly and tell me what’s going on in your life.” She huffed, pushing your feet from her lap, and turning to face away from you, all of which you missed. You really weren’t having that evil green vegetable in your house.

“Seriously, what is even so important that you’re ignoring me right now!” Emma’s voice cut through the fog, and you looked at her with a blank expression. It was times like these that you really missed Na- No. You refused to go there. You didn’t miss her. You were over her.

“No celery.”

Emma threw her hands up in the air. “You seriously don’t see what’s wrong, do you?”

“No.” You tilted your head, confused at what your girlfriend was talking about.

“Well, I’m not just going to tell you! Jesus. You should know. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Emma stood up in a huff, making a lot of noise while getting ready to leave.

“Okay – bye” Your attention was bought back to the phone when Tony sent you a cute video of Morgan crawling about, probably as a bribe to get you to buy celery. You stood, watching the video a few times before you shut off your phone, finally getting around to babyproofing your house.

~~~~~

Babyproofing a house was a lot more work than you originally thought. You had spent most the night picking sharp objects up from baby-height areas and making sure you hadn’t left any weapons about. All the guns taped under tables had to be relocated and you found enough change to set you up for retirement. You just hoped and prayed there were no small beads for Morgan to choke on. You didn’t even get around to putting soft corners on the edges of tables and counter tops, but you told yourself that it was survival of the fittest at that point. The whole endeavour had taken most the night which is how you found yourself with only an hour till Tony, Pepper and Morgan arrived.

There was a knock on the door, and you saw that you were 15 minutes late. Luckily your girlfriend had arrived half an hour before so you figured she could let them in. You shouted down, telling her to get the door as you finished putting on your socks.

“Hiya baby!” You cooed at Morgan babbling in Pepper’s arms, watching as her chubby hands reached for your hair, grabbing on with a crazy amount of strength. “Oh my god you’re strong. Pep, are you sure she’s Tony’s? I’m pretty sure she’s as strong as Thor.” You laughed, looking over at Tony. Your face dropped into careful neutrality as you saw the redhead standing behind him.

“Of course she’s mine doofus. We had multiple paternity tests.” Tony winked.

You didn’t know what to do. You weren’t ready. Your throat went dry as you asked if anyone wanted any drinks, your girlfriend waving them into the living room. You prepared the drinks, and you felt a presence behind you, wrapping their arms around your waist, their head resting on your back. You hated it. You felt suffocated. You took a breath and handed half the drinks to Emma, opting to grab a wine glass and fill it with the wine you had been saving for a special occasion. It might not have been a special occasion, but you needed something strong to get though the next few hours and you knew this would do the job.

You made your way back into the living room and Tony gestured to Emma “I don’t think we’ve met yet.”

“I’m Emma.”

“Tony. This is Pepper, Morgan and Natasha.” Your heart dropped at the mention of her name, realising that she wasn’t some cruel hallucination but was in fact standing in your living room.

“Sorry. I forgot to introduce you all.” You smiled and took another large swig from your glass.

“Hey how come you’re the only one with alcohol?”

“Because you’re a parent now.” You rolled your eyes at Tony, feeling Natasha stare holes into your face.

“So I need it even more!” Pepper hit Tony as he said that, causing Morgan to laugh.

“Don’t worry about Y/n getting drunk, she can handle her alcohol pretty well.”

“We know.” Natasha finally spoke. Her voice bought back floods of memories and you realised you missed her voice – just the tiniest amount. “Who exactly are you to Y/n?” To anyone else, the question was flippant, like asking about the weather but you, Tony and Pepper could all hear the carefully laced venom within her words and while the question sounded like it was aimed at your girlfriend, you could tell she was speaking to you.

“Where’s Bruce this fine day?” You shot back, not letting Emma speak.

“My question first.” Natasha finally turned her gaze to focus on you.

“Why are you here?” You felt Emma’s arm slither possessively around your waist. Perhaps if it had been another day, you would have appreciated it but right now, you felt like you were drowning. She held you too tight, you couldn’t move.

“Ah.” Natasha wore a smug look on her face and yet her eyes flashed with hurt. You hated that she had found out information you weren’t willing to give.

“Why are you here Agent Romanoff.” You wanted- no needed her to answer you. You needed to know why she came to you. Then you looked at Tony. “Why would you bring her here?” Your voice was level, Morgan was pulling at your leg to get you to pick her up. You used that as an excuse to escape your girlfriend’s grip.

“We need you back.”

“So you bring your baby to try and bribe me back?” You ran a hand through your hair, lightly bouncing Morgan. “That I can understand but why bring her?” You waved at Natasha, feeling both her and Emma’s eyes bore into you.

“She’s part of the team too and you both need to get on.” Pepper said.

“You were in on this too?” Your throat felt tight. You couldn’t breathe properly.

“I’m sorry but who exactly are you?” Emma asked. Natasha scoffed at her, folding her arms, and rolling her eyes.

Everything was a little too loud and muffled. It felt as if you were underwater. The sun was too bright, and it made everything a little too hard to look at. You could see your furniture, but it wouldn’t stay in your brain long enough for you to fully register it. You placed Morgan on the sofa and took a deep breath, closing your eyes to focus. When you opened them again you looked straight at Natasha.

“I am not going to play nice with you. You broke me and now that I’m moving on you suddenly decide to show up? No. I don’t believe it. Why can’t you just let me be happy? Leave me alone. Besides, I thought I was a ‘fun little distraction’.” You spat at Natasha. You were tired of being the bigger person. She had hurt you and you wanted to watch her bleed. It’s why you leant over and kissed Emma harshly, why you let out a slight moan so Natasha could hear. It didn’t matter that it was completely fake because even though you knew you should feel satisfaction at Natasha’s hurt face, the twinge of sadness upset you more than you would have liked.

Natasha knew the kiss was forced. She knew it was, but it didn’t stop the knife digging deeper into her heart. You had moved on and she had to respect that. She had said some awful things to you, and you really did deserve someone much better than her. You stormed out of the house, saying that you were going for a walk, leaving your girlfriend to entertain your guests.

~~~~~

It was dark by the time you got back. You saw Natasha on the sofa and ignored her as you walked straight to the guest bedroom. All you wanted to do was curl up and sleep this horrible day into the past but unfortunately for you, you had a girlfriend sitting on the bed.

“This bed isn’t big enough for-” Emma cut you off with a rough kiss. “Emma not now-”

“Yes now. I want to remind your ex what she’s missing.” Emma went back to kissing you and you wanted to cry. You didn’t like her possessiveness, didn’t like her jealousy. With Natasha that had been fun but with Emma, it made you feel afraid.

“Emma seriously.” You grabbed her wrist, not letting her reach into your underwear.

Emma huffed and stepped back. “What’s your problem?”

“I’m really tired. Can’t we just sleep?”

“It’s your ex, isn’t it? Why is she even here? I can’t believe you were going to just let her stay here and not tell me!”

“I didn’t know she was coming!” You were both stage whispering, conscious of the fact there was a baby that most likely didn’t sleep all that often.

“Then kick her out!”

You said nothing. You couldn’t just kick her out. That wouldn’t be fair.

“Oh my god you still love her. You still love her and she’s in love with someone else. Or she was. Ha.” Emma let out a bark of laughter. “That’s so fucking rich. You know what, crawl back to her but don’t come crying to me when she fucks you over again do you hear me?”

“Emma that’s not- I don’t love her anymore. I hate her. She ruined my life.”

“You truly hate her?” You nodded at her. “Supposedly, you can only truly hate someone if you loved them first. We’re done Y/n”

“Seriously?! What? Because I used to love Natasha? Because I don’t want to have sex with you? Grow up Emma. I’ve loved people before you and at this rate, I’ll love people after you too. I’m tired. I don’t have to have sex with you. You can’t make me.”

“I’m your girlfriend! You’re supposed to want to have sex with me!”

“Well not when I’ve had a long ass day!”

“Guys, I think you might wake Morgan.” You winced a little at the addition of Natasha. You knew this was going to end badly.

“This is my fucking house!” Emma said, not lowering her tone.

“Actually, it’s Y/n’s.” Natasha calmly stated. She really wasn’t going to rise to the bait.

Your girl- sorry- ex-girlfriend, fumed next to you. “You know what? Have her. She’s so screwed over from whatever you pulled that I don’t think she can love anyone ever again anyway.” Emma seethed, grabbing her shoes, and slamming the door on the way out. The sound of baby Morgan crying echoed through the house.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” You ran your hand over your face, the exhaustion of the whole day catching up with you.

“No, it’s not. I betrayed your trust over the one thing I knew you couldn’t tolerate. I knew how hurtful cheating is to you and I did it anyway. I know it’s not an excuse, but I guess I just felt like you deserved someone more than me. Someone better.”

You said nothing. You were so so tired. You missed her and it ached, but you couldn’t forget what she had done. “I can’t trust you anymore.”

“I know but please let me try again. Bruce wasn’t worth it. He only made me realise how much I love you.” Tears were filling up Natasha’s beautiful eyes and you could see just how tired she looked.

“I missed you.” You whispered out, not wanting to break whatever was being formed

“I missed you too. So so much.”

“I can’t forgive you. Not yet, but…you can have one more chance Natasha. That’s it. You get one chance at my forgiveness.”

“Okay!” Natasha sniffled slightly “I promise I won’t mess this up.”

“I’m serious Natasha. One chance. I don’t play baseball. There are no three strikes.”

Natasha gingerly reached up to cup your face. “I won’t waste this.”

“Good because I never really stopped loving you and I’d hate to be a simp.”

“I think it’s a little too late for that dove.” Natasha let out a watery laugh.

“Excuse me?” You let out a fake gasp and wiped some of the tears from her cheeks.

“It’s okay, I’ll tell you a secret.” Natasha ushered you to lean closer and you did, she tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and whispered, “I’ve been whipped for you for as long as I can remember.”

You were looking forward to all the ways Natasha was going to make it up to you and hopefully, you’d get to give Bruce a good punch too. You both knew it was going to be a long road ahead but you both felt a little more ready for what lies next.

[sanhaswife]

HI BESTIE, can i request some fatgum fluff? maybe where he comforts us because we are insecure ?

OFC BESTIE, hope you like it :)

FATGUM FLUFF ❊ 

Pairing: FatGum x Reader

Genre: Fluff

~ Everything was great until she got into your head. Thanks to her, you started to doubt yourself and your relationship. You kept wondering if you’re enough to stand by Fatgum’s side; after all, he is a highly recognized hero. He could have any other girl in the world, so why is he still with you?~

Word Count: 2.8k

You and Fatgum have been dating for a few months now; it all began when you started working in the same agency. He claims it was love at first sight, leaving snacks for you here and there, always waiting anxiously to help you with anything. You thought it was cute; of course, it felt good to have someone around giving you all the attention you never thought you would ever get from someone else. Eventually, one day while you both were on patrol, you decided to bring up his actions. 

“You know, I bet you do this with all the girls, right?” Fatgum’s face flushed with red; he stopped in his tracks nervously scratching the back of his head. 

“W-what? Do what? No, I don’t really...you’re just really pretty, you know?” He stuttered. It was amusing to see such a big man acting nervous. 

 God, I want to kiss him so badly, you thought. 

“So...you think I’m pretty?” You questioned as you watched him nod his head, a goofy smile on his face. Your cheeks were growing sore with how hard you’ve been smiling; Fatgum was  attractive in both his regular and skinny form, and his personality was just so sweet it was unbelievable. He was definitely a way better man than any of the other guys you have met before, and it seemed like he really cared about you. 

Grabbing his hand, you looked up at Fatgum, barely meeting his eyes because of the height difference, and squeezed his hand. “Do you like me?” His eyes widened, and he slapped his free hand across his face to hide his rosy cheeks. It made you laugh so hard seeing him stuttering like crazy. “A-a-and if I do? God, Y/N, you’re so pretty, and I always thought that I was never your type. So I never asked you out and just kinda hoped  that you got the message with those stupids cookies and candies I left for you. Yes! Yes, I do like you..very much at that.” 

PRESENT DAY: 

Even though it’s been a few months, your relationship with Fatgum has been...AMAZING. Every day is just filled with so many good moments; it was still crazy to fathom that there was someone who loved you so so much. At the moment, you both shared a small apartment big enough for you two and a small dog you adopted a week ago together. A small Yorkie named Gummy was a present from Fatgum because his little surprises were endless. 

“Gummy! Y/N! Could you please grab Gummy, her little dress? The white one with those flowers we bought yesterday, I think the press would love it.” That’s right, you both were going to attend a banquet for pro-heroes, and Fatgum insisted on bringing Gummy to show her off to his colleagues. Going to the small chest you kept in the living room, you pulled out the white dress and dressed Gummy for the occasion. “Honeybear?” Ah, you loved how he always called you sweet little nicknames. “What do you think?” 

Fatgum was in his skinny form dressed in a classic black and white tuxedo, with his hair slicked back and a cheeky smile on his face; he looked so good you wanted to jump on him right there. “Sexy as always babe, come here.” With Gummy dressed, you stood up and walked over to Fatgum with your arms stretched out. Hugging him, you looked up and stood on your tippytoes to plant a kiss on his cheek, making him then grab your chin and plant a small peck on your lips. After kissing your nose, he looked down at his watch. “You ready? Let me grab you a coat.” Pulling away, he went into the room you shared and dug in the closet for a coat. “Come, Gummy.” You were already dressed in a long white gown with your hair straightened and your makeup perfect; you and Fatgum definitely looked like an elegant pair, making you feel confident. Even your Yorkie matched! 

LATER: 

Eventually, you both had arrived at the banquet, and there was a long red carpet leading to the entrance, both sides filled with reporters, fans, security guards, and cameramen. The day you and Fatgum started dating, he quickly announced his relationship to the public and happily shared photos of you two on his social media. The public’s reaction was supportive, and you both have already received so much love from people. Yet, here and there, there were definitely some people jealous enough to send you all kinds of hate because of your happy, healthy relationship. You never let it get to you though, after all, Fatgum’s love is like no other, and he constantly reassures you whenever you’re feeling down. Those hate comments and posts online would never affect your relationship, and Fatgum would never leave you for someone else like they said...right?

Maybe it was just the nervousness talking, but you couldn’t shake off the negative thoughts that were running around your head until Fatgum opened the car door and offered you his hand. With a smile, you grabbed his hand, and with Gummy wrapped in your other arm, he led you to the red carpet, where all kinds of noise greeted you. Fans were screaming for an autograph, reporters were shouting for a comment, and the security guards struggled to hold everyone back. It made you laugh watching the sea of people crash against the poor guards. You and Fatgum turned left and right, posing together for people to get in some photos before heading inside, where other heroes and their partners greeted you. 

The banquet consisted of heroes gushing about Gummy and your relationship with Fatgum. But since the event was made up of mainly heroes, it was a bit difficult to hold conversations with people for long as everyone eventually moved on to talk to Fatgum or any other hero. So you sat back, relaxing at one of the tables, enjoying some of the food that was available; Fatgum was busy showing off Gummy to his colleagues, so you were doing some alone time. You were sitting there peacefully savoring your meal when a random girl walked up to you, glass full of wine in hand. “Hello, you’re Fatgum’s girlfriend, right? Nice to meet you.” 

“Oh yes! Hello, I’m Y/N...can I help you?” The girl had an unsettling smile that sent shivers down your spine, yet you stayed polite and smiled back. She set down her glass oddly close to you and cocked her head to the side. “I just wanted to come and say hi, maybe even shake your hand?”

That’s odd. You thought, but whatever, nothing bad ever came out of a handshake, right? Just as you were about to bring your hand up, her hand shot out, knocking her glass over, resulting in the wine getting all over your dress. Jumping back in surprise, you looked down at your now ruined dress; the white was stained with red, and it was all over. The girl quickly apologized as she grabbed some napkins and started to try to wipe the wine off. "No, no, it's okay! You don't have to" All of a sudden, she grabbed your hands tightly and dug her nails into your hands. "Ow, what are you-"

"You're a slut." She whispered with a wicked smile on her face. Her comment left you baffled, a stranger...calling you a slut? She didn't let go of your hands, and your eyes were stuck glued onto her's. "You'll never be good enough, you know? All of us were waiting for the right moment to ask him out, yet there you were, wagging your tail at him like a damn dog. You're lucky he agreed to date you because honey..." She looked at your body up and down and, with one hand, reached up to tug at your hair, twirling it around her finger painfully. "These, other little heroes are stupid. You tell them you love them and praise them, and they'll give you everything you want. But, him? He's the one everyone wants. And you're not cut out to stand next to him." 

Her eyes reminded you of a snake as they glowed, her hands snaking up to your cheeks where she slowly moved your head to the side towards Fatgum. It was as if time was going to slow; you were forced to watch as women of all kinds surrounded him. Some were gushing over your dog, but many were talking to Fatgum, most with their hands touching his shoulders or messing with his hair. A gross feeling of jealousy burned over you as you watched him, not pushing anyone off or shying away from their touches. The girl's whispers were not of any help at all. 

"See? They're so much more prettier than you and fit his image better." It was like her voice was starting to echo in your head, and you began to feel dizzy. Your body refused to move as if it was under a spell, and you felt tears rushing to your eyes. She laughed in your ear before pulling away, your body suddenly feeling like a weight has been lifted. She crossed her arms and snickered before looking over at Fatgum. "You might want to go change your dress; if anyone sees you like that, just imagine what the press would say." Looking back over to you, she continued, "I can see it now... Fatgum's girlfriend makes a fool of herself at the pro-heroes banquet. And you know those reporters love a juicy story. 

"Why are you doing this? I don't even know you." You cried; it was humiliating enough to be standing there with a ruined dress and gross emotions washed over you. You watched as the girl shrugged and turned her back on you. "You're ugly, you're fat, your hair is a gross color, the way you smile is disgusting... shall I go on?" Taking your silence as an answer, she looked back to wink at you before heading her way to Fatgum. 

Feeling violated and humiliated, you grabbed your coat that was draped on a chair and rushed to the bathroom. Running down the hall, you found a bathroom nearby and checking every stall before locking the door to be alone. Putting your back against the door, you struggled to catch your breath before sliding down the door, your hands covering your mouth to try to muffle the sobs that escaped your lips. 

So many thoughts were racing your mind, trying to process everything that strange woman had said. Am I not enough? Why didn't he push those girls away, knowing I'm sitting right there? Why? Why? Why?

You brought your knees to your chest and hugged yourself in an attempt to control your shaking body. You stayed that way for almost fifteen minutes before you slowly stood up and headed to the mirror. Your eyes were red from crying so hard; your mascara stained down your cheeks and your nose red. Your hair was messy from running, and the stain on your dress only seemed darker now. Sniffling, you quickly cleaned yourself up the best you could and wrapped yourself up in the coat you grabbed. Getting your phone from the coat's pocket, you left Fatgum a message telling him you were feeling sick and headed outside. You had to take another entrance in order to avoid the press and fans, waiting outside at the curb for a taxi. 

At home, the second you closed the front door and made your way into your room to change, the sobs made their way back up your throat. While crying your eyes out once again, you quickly stripped off your dress and changed into pajamas. The crying didn't stop even while wiping the makeup off your face or brushing the knots out of your hair before going to bed. Shutting off your phone, you wrapped yourself up in the blankets and eventually cried yourself to sleep. 

It was 2 AM when Fatgum finally arrived home. He had a sad expression on his face as he shut the front down and let Gummy down to let her roam around. In the middle of conversing with all kinds of people, he had checked his phone, shocked that you had gone home without telling him in person. Worried, he rushed outside for privacy and called spammed your phone with a hundred texts and a hundred calls, all of which you didn't answer. 

"Y/N? Honeybear?" He slowly opened the door to the room you shared and sighed when he saw you sleeping in the bed, the quilt and sheets messy and wrapped around you. Stepping into the room, he slowly looked around and bent down to pick up your stained dress. He inspected the stain and folded it up with a pained expression before setting it down on the drawer near the bed. He was worried after calling and texting you; it took him forever to finally leave the banquet because more and more heroes wanted to strike up a conversation with him. Sadly, he changed out of this tuxedo and changed into the PJs. He said nothing as he cleaned up the room and then carefully took out some wipes before slowly making his way to you. 

Leaning over, he carefully moved you to face him and winced seeing your red tear-stained face. "Y/N..." He whispered as he began to wipe away your tears. "Honeybear...what happened?"

You woke up to Fatgum kissing your cheeks; looking up at him, he smiled softly, but it only made you turn your back towards him, covering your face with the sheets. "I don't want to talk about it, Gum." You were exhausted from crying so much, and you didn't want Fatgum to see you in such a sorry state, but he only leaned over more to grab the sheets and gently pulled them off to reveal your face. 

Cupping your cheeks, he turned you to face him again and he began to smother you in kisses all over your face. "Gum-" You wanted to be angry. At yourself, at him, and those girls. But his butterfly kisses were so sweet they made you melt into a laughing mess, which made him smile cheerfully. Giving you one last kiss on your lips, he looked down at you, unsure how to start. "What...what happened tonight, Y/N?"

You sighed, sitting up. You scooted over and made space for Fatgum to sit before sharing what happened at the banquet. Listening to you go on and fighting back your tears, he held back from going rabid. His hands were shaking from anger as he replayed your words over and over again in your head. 

"It was a terrible feeling, s-she made me feel so disgusted with myself. Gum I-...before this, I never let my insecurities get the best of me, but she-" Your chest was heaving with sobs as you struggled to find the words to explain what you felt. You felt gross, broken down...ugly. But it stopped when Fatgum gently grabbed your hands with a sad smile, "And did you believe her?"

"I-...well..." You struggled to continue. What happened to the confidence you had? What happened to never listening to strangers? To haters? ...What happened to believing in the ones you love? You rested your head on his shoulders as you sighed. "I just...I don't know how to feel right now. Gum, it was like she was getting in my head." 

He nodded, he wasn't even able to comprehend what you went through, but he wanted you to understand that you were enough. That you were perfect, all your flaws and insecurities? He loved them all. Your goofy smile in the morning, your scent, the way you jump at scary movies, the way you gush at baby clothes, and more. He loved it all. Never in a million years would he ever leave such a perfect person for someone else. And he told you that, holding your hands, rubbing them with his thumbs. 

That night you and Fatgum talked a lot. About what happened, about how you felt, and about how much he loved you. He was gentle, trying to comfort you slowly as not to make you feel rushed or panicked. Every time you squeezed his hand, he went to work smothering you in cheeks before you could continue with your conversation. 

Eventually, everything was out. Now, you both were sitting in comfortable silence, holding hands. You were grateful to have such a patient, gentle, loving man by your side who truly made you feel loved. Thank god I convinced him not to hunt that girl down though, that would be on the news right away. You thought with a small laugh, even though what that strange woman said hurt you deeply, thanks to her words, you and Fatgum were closer than ever before. 

"Let's go shower?" Fatgum questioned with a little wink. His large hands moving away from yours to slowly rub your thighs, making you twitch in anticipation. Turning your body to wrap your arms to hang off his neck, you gave him a deep kiss and pulled away with a smile. "Just don't forget that we have work tomorrow." 

[roseunspindle]

au idea (shocker)

Padme at first doesn’t understand why Anakin is being so cold towards the Lars and shifty around Beru. 

It’s just, a few things do bother her, because Beru often looks, not quite frightened, but almost resigned. And some of Cliegg’s story just doesn’t seem to quite fit, nor does he look like a man who’s wife has been stolen, his repeated attempts to discourage Ankin from going after Shmi are also, almost like he’s trying to hard and are starting to feel more desperate than cautionary.

She suspects something is up though because he insists on taking her with him as he goes for his mother, and abruptly slows but not near the outer vaporators, where Beru, with a pack over her shoulder bursts out from behind one. Hopping forward as Anakin catches her, and Padme helps, figuring something is very up and planning to get answers later.

Later comes about an hour and half into the desert when Anakin stops and makes a roaring cry and masked ones she assumes are sand people seem to appear out of the desert, they and Anakin speak in the odd roar/sign language mix, then they turn, and anakin gets back on the speeder bike (Beru now sitting in the seat behind padme so she won’t be having to awkwardly sit in Anakin’s lap anymore).

Anakin rushes forward when the reach the village and it takes the girls a few moments to catch up and Padme can’t believe her eyes. Shmi and been worn down, sad, but still internally strong when last she had seen her, Shmi had far more grey in her hair and now and her face was a mix of new and old bruises, her right arm was in a sling, and she held herself carefully, which suggested broken ribs to Padme.

Cliegg it turned out, had certainly bought Shmi for her mechanical skills and “freed” and married her for the benefit of a few more vaporators gifted by others in the community.

Shmi had been trying to run away when Cliegg caught her, and he’d started beating her, a group of raiders, planning to help themselves to the out vaportators harvest at least had happened upon them, Shmi had managed to cry out for help in the language of the desert people, and they had attacked, Owen had come running at that point with a rifle so the sand people had fled, taking Shmi with them.

Anakin explained that he knew his mother was on okay terms with the sand people long before, so the tale of capture had been obviously faked, Beru explained that she had seen what happened, but Owen kept insisting that his father “wasn’t usually like that” and had quickly found herself a prisoner at the Lars homestead, Owen pretending everything was fine, she’d just misunderstood, and Cliegg watching her every movement continuously.  

Thanks to a background in slave language and gestures, Anakin and Beru had been able to communicate to find Shmi and get Beru out of the dangerous situation. Beru admitted that Owen had seemed like a good guy, but his inability to admit his father’s crimes and trying to keep Beru until she agreed nothing was wrong had her deciding rather firmly that she was an ex-girlfriend.

After a day or so at the Tusken village, they group, now mounted on borrowed  Bantha’s having given the speeder bike as payment for caring for Shmi, they head toward Beru’s uncle’s farm, around about way from anywhere, as she feared Cliegg might try to catch them if they went to her parents farm, once there the story was told again and a massive group of farmers gathered to remove the lars men. Cliegg was given to the desert as punishment, and owen was essentially exiled, Beru refusing to look at him. Shmi was offered the farm if she wanted it, and she accepted, with Beru planning to move out there with her to help her until she healed fully. (the basic medical supplies on Padme’s ship be far and above what was available to tatooine farmers, she was doing quite well.

Padme and Anakin left for Geonosis soon after, but Anakin had a comm number for his mother now.

[theladyofdeath]

The Joker {Nessian}

31 Days of Halloween: Day 17.

All installments co-written with @snelbz​

Based on a prompt sent in by anon : “Well, one of us has to change and it’s not going to be me.”

Warning: language, alcohol.

Autumn/Halloween 2020 {Collection}

Nesta looked in the mirror at her ripped fishnets, her shorts, her shirt that read Daddy’s Little Monster, and her red and blue pig tails. At first, she always thought that Harley Quinn was overly done on Halloween, but this year, she was feeling sexy in her costume. 

Her sisters would be there soon to pick her up, and although Nesta didn’t typically do the whole Halloween party thing, she was grateful for the break this year. 

Her work schedule had been grueling, every day leaving her exhausted, and she was grateful to finally have a day off. 

A night to drink, when she didn’t have to be up early the next day.

After one final look in the mirror, Nesta made sure her small, crossbody purse was appropriately packed for the night, with her mints, her lipstick, cash, ID, and one condom….just in case. After tossing her apartment keys inside of the bag, too, she was waiting, patiently, for the knock on the door to come. 

And when it did, Nesta was completely thrown off guard, because when she opened the door, she was met with the Joker. 

Cassian dressed as the Joker, to be more specific.

Nesta said nothing when she threw open the door and found Cassian’s shaggy hair dyed green, and his red suit, and yellow vest. His face was painted, and his grin was rimmed in red face paint.

Nesta blinked. “Where the hell are my sisters?”

“At the club,” he said, shrugging. “I told them I’d pick you up since your apartment is on the way.”

Nesta’s mouth opened, but was quickly snapped shut, before it opened, once again. “You have to change.”

He arched an eyebrow. “What?”

“You have to change,” he said, again, gesturing to her costume. “I’m Harley Quinn. You have to change.”

He chuckled. “And why is that?” 

She gestured again at her costume, and when he shrugged, she said, exasperated, “We’re a couples costume, and we’re not a couple! You have to change.”

Cassian snorted. “I’m not changing.”

“Well, one of us has to change and it’s not going to be me,” Nesta said, crossing her arms.

Cassian sighed. “Well, considering we’re at your house, and you insist that one of us must change, it has to be you.” 

Nesta’s lips formed a straight line. “I’m not changing, Cassian.”

“Well, neither am I,” he said, shrugging. “Now, we can go to this party, or you can stay here all alone, pissed off that we match. So. You ready?” 

Nesta scoffed. “You really know how to talk to a lady, you know.”

“Oh, I know,” Cassian grinned. “Come on. Everyone’s waiting. The party has started. Let’s go.”

Nesta hesitated. “No.”

Cassian looked at her for a moment before slowly shaking his head. “You’re so fucking stubborn.”

Nesta was taken aback, offended. “What?”

“You’re stubborn,” he repeated. “You’re stubborn, and it gets in the way of you having a good time.”

“I am not stubborn,” Nesta fought.

Cassian rolled his eyes. “You’re literally the most stubborn person that I know.”

“You’re so full of shit!” Nesta said, her offense growing. 

Cassian laughed as his head fell back, his hands shoved into his pockets. “Just come to the party, Nesta. I promise to keep my distance from you, if that’s what you wish. No one will even know that we’re together.”

“We’re not together,” she said, deadpan. 

Cassian blew out a breath. “Just come on, will ya? The truck is on, the heat is on, your sisters are waiting-”

“Cassian-.”

“Please?” he begged, and when she said nothing more, he took that as a good sign. “If you don’t show up, Elain will-.”

“Alright, alright,” Nesta sighed. “Back up.” 

Cassian took a step back and Nesta stepped into the hall, locking the door behind her. Without a word, she followed Cassian down the flight of stairs and to his truck, where she helped herself inside.

The ride was quiet, aside from the soft music playing in the background. It was so low that there were moments it got lost in the sound of the heater, blowing out toasty air.

Nesta picked up on the tension just a few minutes before they arrived, and once she did, she wasn’t sure how she had missed it. In the few glances she snuck at him, she could see how tight his grip on the wheel was, how tightly his jaw was clenched. His teeth must have been singing as they locked together.

But the most telling sign, the way she knew something was off, was the way he refused to look at her.

She wasn’t inclined to ask what it was.

When they arrived at the club, the line was around the building and Nesta nearly groaned, until she remembered who her younger sister was. Elain had bought VIP tickets the day they’d gone on sale, allowing them to bypass the line and enter exclusive areas that Rita only allowed a select few.

Hopping out of the truck, Nesta didn’t bother to wait for Cassian as she made her way towards the front of the line, popping a pink wad of chewing gum into her mouth. She’d wanted to go all out with the baseball bat, but knew it would get lost somewhere halfway through the night. Better to save her money for booze.

She retrieved the lanyard attached to the VIP pass from her clutch and held it up to the bouncer. Wordlessly, he let her through.

Nesta didn’t wait to see if Cassian was behind her. 

Maybe she should have, or maybe she should have at least thanked him for the ride that saved her from public transportation, but she didn’t. Even as the thought crossed her mind, her feet just kept moving into the club. 

She spotted her sisters and their boyfriends, along with Mor and Amren and their dates, in a booth along the far wall, close to the bar. They all cheered as Nesta approached.

“Where’s Cass?” Elain asked, beaming, after complimenting her sister’s costume. 

“Yeah, thanks for sending the ride, by the way,” Nesta muttered. “I hate the bus and I nearly almost took it anyway. Why’d you send him, anyway? Didn’t he have better things to do? Like, I don’t know, pick up his girlfriend?” 

Elain’s smile faltered. “You don’t know?”

Nesta arched a brow. “I don’t know, what?”

“They broke up,” Feyre said, shrugging. “A couple days ago, I’m surprised that you hadn't heard. Or, at least, saw it on Facebook.” 

“I’m taking a break from Facebook, it just pisses me off,” Nesta mumbled. 

She stared down at her hands, which were folded on the table. Cassian was single for the first time in years.

No wonder he had been so tense in the car.

The man himself appeared, a crooked grin that matched the gruesome one painted on his face, sliding into the booth, next to Rhys. Nesta looked at him for the first time, really looked at him, beneath the costume.

Those hazel eyes that she knew all too well, they were...hollow and empty. And she didn’t like it.

“Nice of you two to finally join us,” Amren said, shooting them both an impatient glare.

Nesta just raised an eyebrow at her friend, but Cassian said, “My apologies, ma’am. First round is on me.”

No one was arguing with that.

Drinks were ordered and as Nesta sipped on a tropical beverage, she kept glancing at the disheveled Joker across the booth. 

“Come on, Rhys, let’s dance!” Rhysand was dragged onto the dance floor, leaving Nesta and Cassian alone as the other couples followed, enjoying their time together.

Nesta cleared her throat, but Cassian continued to stare at his half-full glass of whiskey. 

She cleared her throat again.

Cassian’s eyes shot up and met hers. He blinked a few times as if he had completely forgotten she was there. “Sorry, what?”

Nesta hesitated. She really hadn’t thought of what to say, only that she hated seeing him so miserable. “Your costume looks good,” she said, deciding small talk was safe. “I’m glad you went with this version of the Joker.”

“I thought I needed to change.” His words were meant to bite, she could tell. But they didn’t. They were empty.

She didn’t like that. 

She’d never liked Cassian’s girlfriend. She was a haughty bitch, who constantly judged people and-.

Nesta stopped her thoughts before she let them follow that particular rabbit hole. But she had to admit she wasn’t upset at the news that Cassian wasn’t with her anymore.

Cassian definitely seemed upset, though. 

“I changed my mind,” she said, at last. “Who’s Harley Quinn without the Joker?” 

Cassian chuckled, even though the light didn’t reach his eyes. “You’re known to say that Harley is much better without the Joker.”

She had walked right into that one. But, for the sake of making him feel better, she’d push her personal beliefs of DC villains aside. 

“Just because you dressed up like Joaquin Phoenix instead of Heath Ledger, who was clearly the best Joker to date, doesn’t mean that I think your effort is a total waste,” Nesta went on.

He rolled his eyes, the first thing she’d seen that was anything similar to his normal self. “Please. Ledger’s interpretation may have been iconic, but it only blew up as big as it did because of his untimely death right after,” he said, bringing the glass to his lips and taking a drink. “But you’re not ready to talk about that.”

“It was a tragedy that added to the element of chaos that were his final years,” she defended, sipping down the rest of her drink.

Cassian raised a hand, looking over his shoulder at the bartender, who had two new drinks heading their way shortly after. They discussed the aesthetic differences in the different adaptations of characters, from the Joker and Harley, to Batman and even over to Marvel, getting into a heated debate over who was the superior Spiderman.

Cassian narrowed his eyes at Nesta, who had somehow ended up next to him in the booth - or did he end up next to her? - and said, a slight slur to his words, “Look, just admit it, you like Heath Ledger better because he’s prettier.”

Nesta snorted, something she thought was decidedly unladylike, but she didn’t care. “I mean, yeah, that’s obvious, but that’s not the only reason. It is the reason you should have been him though.”

“Because I’m pretty?” Cassian asked, with a crooked grin.

“I walked right into that one,” Nesta mumbled, downing her drink before setting it down on the table with a clunk. 

“So you do think I’m pretty,” Cassian said, his grin remaining. 

“Everyone thinks you’re pretty,” Nesta argued, snatching a full glass and not hesitating to take a drink. 

Cassian’s grin widened, and with the Joker makeup, Nesta was caught between thinking it was cute or terrifying. “Even you?”

Nesta didn’t answer. Her lips pressed together in a straight line. “Let’s dance, Nazari.”

She was already up on her feet when Cassian stared at her, dumbfounded. “What?”

She shrugged. “Let’s dance.” 

Cassian looked at her for a moment before saying, “I’m not really in the mood to dance, Nesta.”

“Why?” she asked. “Because you were dumped?”

Cassian’s shoulders tensed. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Nesta shook her head, rubbing her temples. “It’s Halloween, Cass. You deserve to have a good night, and I’m going to make sure you have a good night.” 

Cassian took a deep breath as he looked up at Nesta, through his dark lashes. “Why do you care so much?”

Nesta wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him. “We’re friends, right?”

Cassian snorted. “We are?”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Come on, Cass. Let’s dance.” 

Once again, Cassian stared at her for a long moment. “If I dance with you, will you admit that Joaquin is a better Joker?” 

Nesta slowly shook her head as she crossed her arms. “Never.”

Cassian’s eyes narrowed. “Can we at least agree that Jared Leto was the worst?”

Nesta grinned. “Oh, absolutely.”

“I’ll take it.” Cassian stood, and took Nesta’s hand. She led him onto the dance floor and wasted no time trying to take his mind off his breakup.

They had come together, after all. Even though they weren’t a couple.

Not yet, anyways.

[thephantomofthe-internet]

Candy Hearts and Paper Roses

Steve Harrington x Carol’s Sister!Reader, Tommy x Carol

Word Count: 7,251

Warnings: Pregnancy, Smoking, Body Shaming, Swearing, Marriage

Author’s Note: Did y’all know that Carol’s last name was Perkins? Or that Tommy’s was Hagan? I didn’t! I also thought Tommy was more of a Hanson. Well, whatever.

Tag List: @madkskillz​ @moonstruckbucky​ @hotstuffhargrove​ @scoopsahoyharrington​ @thechickvic​ @alex--awesome--22​ @lilmissperfectlyimperfect​ @so-not-hotmess​ @hawkeyeharrington​ @sunflowercandie​ @kaliforniacoastalteens​ @songforhema​ @mickmoon​ @spidey-pal @buckybarneshairpullingkink​ @baebee35​ @myrealloveissleep​ @allfandomxreader​

You found out that Carol was pregnant before anyone else did. You found the test in her closet, in her black high heel. It was your own fault, she scolded when you confronted her with the test, you shouldn’t have been trying to steal her lavender turtleneck when she told you that you couldn’t borrow it.

Maybe she was right. Then again, you weren’t stupid enough to let Tommy Hagan knock you up less than a month after graduation. Tommy Hagan was beyond stupid. Carol wasn’t the brightest bulb in the box either, but you’d always assumed she wouldn’t let herself get caught up. Guess you were wrong.

Both your families freaked. A wedding was planned, a tiny diamond put on Carol’s finger, and her college fund spent on a tiny, run down shack of a double wide. She wasn’t going to college anyway. She wanted the baby, she could raise it on her own. Tommy wasn’t going either, not that he ever wanted to. The air force was the right place for him, that way he didn’t have to be there for the kid, just like his old man. A grotesquely nuclear army family. Maybe Carol would sell Avon, get her cosmetology degree once the kid was in school, cut hair at Marie’s shop. Maybe Tommy would excel at flying fighter planes, maybe he’d teach flying. Or move to commercial flight like his dad did. You hoped that they’d have an okay life.

You hoped even more that Carol wouldn’t pick ugly bridesmaid’s dresses.

Your mother insisted that Carol make you her maid of honour. “She’s your baby sister!” she cried from her seat on your family’s ugly floral couch. The two of them had been planning out a guest list and you made the mistake of walking past on the way to the kitchen.

“I promised Tina that she could be my maid of honour! She’s my best friend!” Carol whined. She was three months by then, her pregnancy just beginning to show.

“Tina will be happy just to be a bridesmaid. But your sister is family and we put family first. You’ll make your sister your maid of honour or you’ll have no bridesmaids at all.” Your mother warned, moving the paper doll representing you up to the bridal party. Carol had really spent too long on making her table diagram.

“Mom! That’s completely unfair, you can’t do that!” Carol cried, her red hair whooshing around her head.

“Carol, your father and I are paying for this wedding. If you want to do it your way, you’ll get a job and fork over the dough to pay for it yourself.” Your mother replied harshly. Carol shut her mouth after that, crossing her deer like arms over her chest.

It was settled. You’d be the maid of honour with Tina and Macy trailing behind you. Tommy would have his brother and Mason Pruitt in his party, with Steve Harrington acting as best man.

“Tommy’s brother isn’t his best man…” Carol muttered as your little group walked into the bridal shop in Hawkins, Nana’s Bridal. The weather was just beginning to turn cold, leafs turning brown and crunchy at your feet.

“And I can’t stop him. He’s not my son.” Your mother chuckled, examining the make of a white polyester nightmare on the sale rack. All of your shopping was to be done on the sale rack. Your parents weren’t putting much money into this wedding.

Carol insisted on shopping for hours, to the point where Tommy and his party waltz into the shop to meet the group for lunch and found Carol crying in a puffy, whipped cream looking dress with chintzy flowers blooming out of the neckline, held on by clear glass beads at their centre. Apparently Melanie Moore had just bought the same dress and she’d seen everything in the shop and nothing was perfect. Tommy just laughed at the scene, elbowing Steve and Mason in the ribs, whispering about how stupid she looked. You’d never seen a girl in a wedding dress hit their groom, but then again you’d never imagined your sister as a bride. Maybe the image would’ve been more expected if you ever thought she’d get married. Your mother broke up the scene, telling the Carol to go get changed so she didn’t ruin the dress. That she’d wear her old wedding dress if she didn’t want to pick one.

Carol chose the floral nightmare when Tommy wasn’t looking. Melanie wouldn’t be seen in it until after her anyway. The group went off to lunch without a word. Carol and Tommy went back to being lovey-dovey sweethearts. Tina rushed off to gossip with Macy. The parents huddled to regroup and cope with the scene. Suddenly, you were alone.

You turned to Harrington out of desperation. He looked about as exhausted as you were. “How’d suit shopping go?” you asked, drawing Steve’s attention immediately to you.

He chuckled, leaning down to whisper in your ear “Don’t tell your mom, but we didn’t go.” You looked up wide eyed. Steve smirked “Yeah, we all own black suits and white dress shirts from other things. We’ll get matching ties when we know what you’re wearing.” He nodded to Carol, who was gripping onto Tommy’s arm, pointing out a horrifying mustard yellow velour dress with matching bolero. You cringed, hoping she was making fun of the dress rather than genuinely choosing it as an option for her friends. You really hoped she wouldn’t put you in it as punishment.

“Pray for me, Harrington.” You replied with a wry smile, bouncing ahead to join your mother, hoping she’d slip you one of the unlabeled white pills she was taking, or at the very least an Advil.  

Steve watched you go, your own hair moving with every step you took. The light caught the strands, haloing your crown in golden light.

Yeah, he was fucked.

Carol’s little sister wasn’t exactly someone he’d usually pay attention to. He’d known you since you were a little kid, with scraped knees and ripped tights. You were a wild little thing, always chasing after him and his friends, trying to impress the older kids in your paisley pilgrim dresses and shiny Mary-Jane’s. You were a little girl, then a stroppy preteen who didn’t want to hang out with her older sister but wanted to do the same things she did, then, out of nowhere, you had grown up. Standing tall, haloed in light, keeping up with every punch her older sister could throw at her, laughing all the way.  You weren’t the little girl who cried when her teacher’s were mean or her sister abandoned her on the playground and you weren’t the middle school kid with dirty ripped jeans and a moody attitude. You’d grown into someone new. Someone who intrigued him. Someone he couldn’t stop staring at, even when Mason smacked him in the back of the neck and tried to engage him in football talk, Steve kept his gaze and focus on you and you wide grin. Shining in the sunlight, radiant and proud and beautiful.

He felt like such a creep. He was perving on his friend’s girlfriend’s younger sister.

But he couldn’t escape you. Every weekend, as the wedding date grew closer and Carol grew bigger and bigger, he saw you. The wedding was set for Valentine’s Day, another note of pure cheese for the nuptials.

You weren’t insanely focused on Harrington. You had too much damage to try to control. Your mother and Carol seemed hell bent on torturing you, although your mother seemed to be unaware of the pain she was inflicting on you. They wanted to deck out the hall in pure white and pastel pink, candy hearts on the table in glass bowls and a mix of real red roses and paper ones as centrepieces. The whole thing was going to look like a slightly more expensive version of the Valentine’s Day parties your homeroom classes had in elementary school. The bridesmaid’s dresses were the worst part.

You, Tina, and Macy were dragged back to Nana’s Bridal shop in town, with Carol and Tommy in tow. You were not impressed with Carol’s grabs. It turns out she really liked that awful mustard velour nightmare. Your mother had to hold her back, although her only reasoning was that it didn’t match the colours. They had to be pink or red to match the colours of the wedding. The boys had to have matching ties to the dress colour. It had to match. It was a Valentine’s Day wedding.

You vowed to yourself that you’d never be this cheesy.

Carol spent the appointment torturing you, putting you into the ugliest pink dresses she could find purely to laugh at you. Everything was awful and itchy and smelt like plastic. You wanted to crawl into a ball and die. While Macy and Tina wowed the crowd in the nicer, more refined dresses, you were the frumpy ugly duckling.

The last dress Tina tried on was the choice. Tea length salmon pink polyester with a high boat neckline and soft layered cap sleeves. The dress was plain and simple, no excess sequins or crystals. It was also on sale, which meant your mother jumped at the dress; telling Carol that she could put little fabric flowers on the waistband to match hers. She still pouted.

“Ma, that dress isn’t going to work. It’s going to look terrible on Y/N.” she snapped, pointing her stubby nail at you. You were still dressed in a similar pink dress, although this one had a white lace appliqué to cover your cleavage. You felt your face heat terribly, tears brimming in your eyes. Macy and Tina refused to look at you and Tommy had long ago went to use the phone at the front desk.

“Here, Tina go change and Y/N, go try the dress on.” Your mother instructed. Tina turned on her heel and headed back into the dressing room. You sighed, following behind the salesgirl as she returned you to your own poorly lit dressing room. The salmon dress came into your dressing room quickly and you slipped it on. You looked yourself over in the mirror, wiping the tears that had built up in your eyes as you looked yourself over. You thought you looked fine, but you knew in your heart that Carol was going to shoot you down no matter how good you looked in it. You took in a deep breath and stepped out of the dressing room, heading back out to see your family.

As if on cue, the bell over the front doors chimed and Steve Harrington’s chipper voice sounded by the entrance. Tommy and Steve joined the group. You looked down quickly smoothing your skirt.

“Now, you see Carol, she looks fine.” Your mother said “Y/N, turn around show us the whole picture.”

You rolled your eyes, but obeyed, turning slowly to let the material swirl around your ankles.

“Ma, she looks like one of those ballet dancing hippos from Fantasia. Y/N needs a wider skirt and more details to hide her-” This was what you expected from Carol. Her not so subtle jabs at you were poison dipped. Usually, you could handle her, but today it was too hard. Tears began to well up in your eyes again, which you quickly tried to hide, turning to look yourself over in the mirror as if you were looking over what Carol was saying.

“Wow, you look great Y/N.” Steve cut in with a grin. “The colour looks great with your hair.” Everyone turned to look at Steve, confused or surprised or annoyed. You turned to look at him as well, surprised. You didn’t expect a compliment from Steve, much less over your looks.

“I agree, Steven. Y/N looks wonderful. Carol, this is the dress. This is what we’re going with. We’re not getting two dresses. You like this one, we’ll do this one. We can add a flower to the waistband, they’ll be wearing jewellery.” Your mother added, standing up to squeeze your shoulders comfortingly. You smiled up at her as she sent you away to change. Dress shopping was over, thank god. You heard as you left your mother add “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all Carol. You’re too hard on her.”

“I’m just trying to be helpful, mom. I don’t want her to go out there and look like an idiot.” Carol retorted. You couldn’t see her face, but you felt the sneer digging into your back, her hatred never stronger than when she was told that she was in the wrong.

When you came back out, everyone was impatiently waiting for you, chatting absentmindedly. Your mother announced that the group would come back for a fitting in two months time, in January. Your mother wrapped her arm around your shoulders. She told the girls to find nice jewellery and matching shoes for their dresses and the boys to get their salmon ties and to remember their tie clips. Everyone was sent on their way from there, Carol and your mother leaving you in the dust.

You felt a firm tap on the shoulder. “You wanna go for a drive?” You met the eye of Steve Harrington and his lopsided grin. You chewed your lip, thinking for a moment, before nodding.

Steve and you drove in silence for awhile before stopping on the edge of town. The weather had gone cold and the wind had picked up in the wheat fields, blowing softly into a tan blur. You and Steve sat in  the front seats, staring out the windshield in silence.

“So…what’s up with your sister? Is she always this much of bitch or is it the hormones?” Steve asked softly, cracking his window. You reached into your purse, pulling out a pack of cigarette and lighting one, offering the pack to Steve.

You puffed out a cloud of smoke, chuckling to yourself “She’s always been a mythic bitch…just usually not so much in public.” You said, offering Steve your lighter.

“Why does she do that? She used to bug Nance too I just don’t get it…” Steve asked, lighting his cigarette and bringing it to his lips, passing you back your lighter.

“That’s just girls, Harrington, if you’re not their friend and they notice you, you’re an enemy.” You replied, looking out the window at the empty field in front of you. “We can’t have any competition.”

“Why’d she think you were competition?” he asked, turning his attention to you, resting his arm on the gear shift.

“She’s always been the pretty one, and now she’s fat. She can’t handle it.” Pregnancy hadn’t brought Carol the glow everyone promised. Instead, it gave her acne and swollen feet and greasy hair. It didn’t even make her boobs bigger. She had just reverted into herself in middle school, except with a baby growing inside her.

“She hasn’t always been the pretty one…” Steve muttered. You turned to look at him, your brow furrowed in an intense stare. Steve simply shrugged in response.

“Well, she’s always thought that she was. And now she’s pregnant and having her dream wedding and it’s still not what she wants. I don’t know what she thinks is gonna happen once she’s married.” You smirked, turning to ash your cigarette out the window.

“Carol and Tommy have always gone back and forth, ever since the seventh grade. They’ll be fine.” Steve shrugged.

You frowned “I don’t know, I mean with a baby in the mix…they can’t just break up and make up easy anymore. There’s too much at stake now.” You replied.

“Yeah but they’ll make it work.” You raised your eyebrow at him, watching him carefully “Tommy’s gonna take it seriously. They both will.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” You crossed your arms over your chest, flicking the butt of your cigarette out the window. You both went silent for awhile, but something was eating at your mind.

“Why’d you step in today?” you asked.

“Huh?” Steve looked over at you again, more focused on the growing line of ash about to tip into his lap.

“With Carol, she was ripping me a new one and you stepped in. Why? It wasn’t your issue to deal with…” you clarified, picking at the skin around your nails.

“I mean…she was being mean and I didn’t want to listen to it.” He replied. You nodded to yourself. That answer made sense.

“I meant it, you know.” Steve added “You look really pretty.”

“Oh…” you breathed, looking down at your hands “Thanks, Steve…”

“No biggie.” He grinned. You really didn’t know what to do with yourself. He thought you were pretty. How were you supposed to react? He was Steve! Sure, you had a crush on him when you were a kid, but now? Now you barely felt like you knew him. And yet your heart was pounding in your chest. Maybe you just hadn’t gotten a good compliment in awhile.

Or maybe a part of you wanted his approval. You’d had a crush on him when you were young, he broke your heart without knowing it. Now, you were equals. Maybe that was it. Or maybe the crush never left.

Steve drove you home after that, letting Hall and Oates drift you back into your personal circle of hell. When you arrived in your driveway, you popped open your door and climbed out, leaning into his cracked window.

“Thanks for the ride, Harrington.” You said, adjusting you purse strap on your shoulder. You wondered if you looked like a hooker. You hoped not.

“No problem, thanks for coming out with me.” He replied, leaning his elbow on the inside of the door. “I’ll see you around?”

“I’m pretty sure I’ll have to.” You giggled, turn on your heel and running up the driveway. You pulled open the front door, stepping into the warmth of your house, rubbing your hands together to bring the feelings back into your fingers. Carol had the fireplace going in the living room, feet propped up on the tapestry covered stool as she flipped through a copy of Glamour magazine.

She looked up when she heard the door close and she frowned when her eyes met yours. You tried to just go upstairs, but Carol snapped her fingers at you. “Hey.” You turned to look at her, not stepping down from the stairs.

“Leave Harrington alone.” She snapped, slapping her magazine closed.

“Why does it matter to you who I hang out with?” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest.

“He doesn’t like you. He’s being nice. Don’t get it twisted in your sad little head that he’d like you.” Carol replied with a smirk.

You didn’t bother to reply, simply heading upstairs and slamming your door. Of course Carol had to ruin it. You have one nice thing, one uplifting moment in an otherwise awful day, and she had to take a crap on it. She couldn’t just let you have anything. That would be too easy for her. Carol couldn’t let you have anything, what else would she do with her free time.

You knew that Carol was just bored and trying to stir shit up, but a part of your mind wouldn’t let it go. Steve didn’t like you. He was just a nice guy. You refused to let yourself get caught up in any sorts of hyper inflated one-sided romance made up in your mind.

Luckily for you, most of the wedding prep from there on didn’t involve the whole group going. In fact most of it didn’t even involve you. Your mother took over planning, dragging Tommy and Carol to bakeries and to meet the pastor who’d do the service. Tommy wanted his drunken uncle to do the service, he was a boat captain and Tommy didn’t understand that a boat captain can only perform a wedding on a boat at sea and that he was in the middle of the country.

Your mother tasked you with the all important job of making flowers to pin onto the bridesmaid dresses. She gave you enough money to buy the supplies and sent you on your way with a beleaguered sigh, turning her attention to Carol who was whining over her bowl of Captain Crunch. Apparently, she was craving pickles and salt and vinegar chips and the house was out of both.

You took yourself down to Main Street. The date of the girl’s fitting was inching closer and closer and you were more than nervous to go back in to try on dresses. You knew Carol would be on your case if the dress fit even a little bit incorrectly. Even if it was too big, she’d be pissed at you for something. It had only been a couple months, and you were certain that you hadn’t gained or lost any weight since trying on and sizing the stupid nightmare. Who wanted to wear a dress in a colour named after a fish? Salmon was not an appetizing colour. It drew the mind to dead fish sliced up on a plate.

You pushed open the door of your favourite fabric store. In a small town full of old ladies, there was a huge market for sewing stores. Yours was Sylvia’s Sewing Supplies, its owner gave you discounts and slipped you new patterns whenever you came in. You relished in the warmth of the shop. Hawkins had frozen over in November and hadn’t even gotten close to thawing out. Your favourite cashier, Marie wasn’t in, so you slipped into the aisles to find what you needed. You needed a fabric that would stand out against the salmon pink of the dress, flat topped pins, and a bit of wire to give the fabric some body. You grabbed your pins and the crafting wire, before heading to the sale section for fabric. You’d need something lightweight and clean, with no distinctive or big pattern, and little stretch. You found a thin cotton material with bit of pink sparkle and bought a yard. You’d use some leftover magenta coat buttons for the flower’s centre.

You left the shop with a grin, plastic bag swinging in your hands as you headed back towards your family’s home. You were proud to have gotten all your supplies for under the budget your mother had given you.

You’d barely made it past Melvald’s when a familiar maroon car came swerving to a stop next to you, Steve Harrington leaning out the driver’s side window. “Hey! Perkins! Where ya headed?” he asked.

You waved at him, edging closer to his car. “Oh nowhere really, I thought I might go up to King’s Street.” You said, clutching your coat around yourself.

“Whatcha buying?” he pointed to your shopping bag.

“Wedding stuff, I’ve been given a job. Woo hoo…” you pulled a painfully fake grin, using your free hand to do a bit of a jazz hand.

Steve laughed, shaking his head “Well, come on get in.” he said.

“Oh no, that’s alright Steve, I don’t mind walking.” You replied. Carol’s words rang loudly in your ear.

“Perkins, its freezing. Get in the car before you turn blue.” Steve said, leaning over to pop the passenger’s side door open. You shook your head, jogging around the car to get in, if only to escape the cold and keep from someone taking off the door. Steve drove off quickly, crossing town a bit too fast for your liking. You directed him towards Tom’s Curio shop; a sort of thrift store meets pawn shop on the edge of town, closer to Kingsville than Carmel. You liked Tom’s; it was the closest thing to a thrift store you could get in town. It had been open since Hawkins was founded and Tom still stood behind the counter every day.

You dragged Steve along with you inside, instructing him to park close to the front door. “Alright, what’re we looking for?” Steve asked as he pushed open the heavy front door.

“We are looking for something shiny to pair with my bridesmaid dress.” You replied, waving politely to Tom, who was haggling with a customer at the desk. You weaved through the racks to the back case, filled mostly with costume jewellery. The good stuff was at the front, locked away and protected by Tom’s stern gaze and the shotgun he kept behind the counter.

“Ah, I need a tie clip anyway, wonder if they’ll have anything good…” he said, following behind you up to the well lit case. The case itself was filled with a variety of plastic beads in every colour, from fake pearls to giant rainbow baubles that your grandmother used to wear. There was some rhinestone on silver plated copper pieces, most of which had their copper showing or rhinestones missing. You weren’t insanely impressed.

“What about that one?” Steve pointed at a set of sort, pale pink plastic beads.

You cringed “If I have to wear grandma beads, I’ll freak out.” You replied, eyeing down the long case. Something caught your eye. A small silver chain with a little pink flower in its centre. “Hey Tom!” you called “Can I get a hand in the case?”

“Case’s open, it’s all junk in there anyway!” Tom called back. You slipped behind the desk and slid open the glass panel. You gently pulled out the necklace, examining it in natural lighting. The silver didn’t seem to be rubbed off or chipped and while the pink flower had clearly had it details rubbed off, you liked it more because of it.

“You want me to grab a tie clip? I see one that isn’t faded or ugly.” You said, eyeing a plain silver tie clip at the end of the counter.

“Sure, I should own one anyway.” Steve said. You grabbed the clip but your arm was just a bit too short, it slipped from your fingertips. You groaned, sidling over to where it fell. You reached for it and found two clips instead of one. First was the tie clip, but the other piece was more interesting. It wasn’t another tie clip but instead a hair pin. A straight clasped pin with blue stones and a singular stone shaped like a small flower bud at its centre. It clearly wasn’t something worth any money, but it was pretty and the details were intact.

You lifted yourself off the floor and closed the glass. You handed Steve his tie clip and dusted off your jeans, the knees now white with dust and dirt. The pair of you paid for your pieces and headed into the snowstorm that Hawkins had become. He drove you home slowly, excessively careful in the changed weather. But when he turned down your street, you stopped him.

“You can drop me off here.” You pointed about eight houses down from yours. Steve was driving at a snail’s pace and you were getting antsy.

“What? No way, Perkins. The weather’s shit and the sidewalks are icy. Those little sneakers aren’t gonna do you much good in this weather.” He chuckled, nodding at your dingy white Reebok sneakers. He wasn’t wrong, but he didn’t see the inherent problems Carol was going to cause.

“Carol’s going to cause a scene if she sees us together again.” You countered, grabbing your plastic bag off the ground.

“Why does she give so much of a shit about you and me?” Steve asked, parking in your driveway.  

“I don’t know, pregnancy hormones are crazy, apparently.” You sighed, popping open the door. You were barely out in the snow for a moment when your mother came rushing out the door.

“Steven!” she called “Y/N, tell that boy that it’s not safe to drive home in this. He’ll stay for dinner.”

Fighting this request would not end well. You sighed, turning your attention back into the car “Steve, my mom is insisting you stay for dinner. It’s too bad for you to drive back home, wait it out inside.”

“It’s not that bad, I’ll be alright.” Steve replied with a shrug.

You rolled your eyes, smiling softly “It’s not a request, Harrington, come one.” You turned on your heel and your smile grew as you heard the ignition turn off and Steve’s door open and shut.

“Thank you, Mrs. Perkins.” Steve said as he passed your mother by.

“It’s no trouble at all, Steven, we’re happy to have you.” She replied, shutting the door behind the three of you. Carol was again sat in the living room with the fireplace going, gorging herself on salt and vinegar chips, laid out on the couch. When she saw Steve, she sat up as fast as she could, her stomach protruding much more at five months than it ever had before.

“Steve! What’re you doing here?” she beamed, adjusting herself in her mountain of pillows.

“Oh, I found your sister stuck in the storm, I drove her home.” Steve replied, pulling off his navy blue coat and kicking off his damp sneakers. Carol’s bright smile dropped into a frown as she eyed the pair of you. The silence was thick and tense enough to slice with a knife.

“Well…I’m going to work on the flowers. I bought some nice material, I’ll make a test one for you to look over, yeah?” you said, lifting the grey opaque bag as if to prove you went shopping. Carol nodded shortly and you ran off as fast as you, abandoning Steve to her clutches.

Working on the flowers proved to be much easier than you thought. You plugged in your small sewing machine at your desk, plugging the foot peddle into the machine. You pulled in your hot glue gun as well, plugging it in. Then, you drew out your petal shape. You decided to have a five petal flower and to make the shape similar to a heart, with a rounded cupid’s bow at the top of the petal and a bit of a point at the end. Then you cut your fabric into five even strips, folding the fabric over, and setting the excess aside. You used your fabric chalk to copy the image onto the fabric five times. You cut out your hearts and set them aside. Then, you used a pair of wire cutters to break off five pieces of similar lengths. You hot glued each piece of wire onto five of your ten hearts and loaded in your thread as they dried. You placed two hearts back to back and sewed around the edges and turned them inside out. Then you hot glued the other half of the heart to the wire. Repeat four times, the wind the wires together in a circle, hot glue the flower to the pin and glue the button to its centre. Bam. A flower. It looked alright too.

With a proud grin, you bounded down the stairs. Steve and Carol were sat in awkward silence, which you easily broke. “Alright, Carol this is the first one. What’d think of the fabric and design?” you handed her the pin “I tried to make the petals look like hearts, to sort of fit the theme-”

“They’re fine. They’re just to add something to the waistband. You don’t have to think so hard about it.” She cut in, handing you back the flower. In an instant, you were defeated by Carol.

“Alright then…” you muttered. You went to leave, but Steve’s voice caused you to stop in your tracks.

“Think I can give you a hand?” he asked, hopping to his feet.

“Oh…I’m alright, keep Carol company, I’m sure she enjoys it.” You said quickly.

“I’m fine, go ahead Steve, I’m sure Y/N can put you to some kind of work.” She drawled, watching you with a sneer.

You sighed, bounding up the steps. Steve followed close behind. You kicked open your door, pushing a pile of notebooks to the side as you let him into your room. “Alright, sit there and cut out petals. I’ll do the rest.” You pointed to your bed, then pulled out your own desk chair and flicked off the light above your needle.

“Alright,” he rubbed his palms together and looking over the pile. “What am I going here?”

You leaned over to him in your chair “Alright take your pattern, pick a place on the fabric,” you pointed to the white chalk “Draw the pattern out on the fabric, then cut it out.”

“Alright, I got this.” He said. You nodded turning back to your machine as a small pile of hearts began to grow. You made steady, silent progress, until Steve broke it.

“Why do you let her push you around like that?” Steve asked.

“What do you mean?” you replied, not looking up from your machine.

“You were clearly proud of the pin and she dismissed it. Why couldn’t she say it was nice?” Steve asked.

You chuckled “God, you’re such an only child…” you mutter, gluing your wire onto your first heart and sewing pieces together. “That’s how older sisters are. They all wanted to be only children and then some baby brat came along and stole all the attention. She’s disliked me from the day I was born.”

“And she can’t be nice for five minutes?” Steve countered with a matching chuckle.

“Like I said, blame the hormones. Usually, she’d just ignore me. Now, she needs me to make stupid little flowers for her wedding.” You replied, flipping out your first heart and gluing it shut.

The pair of you made five pins in about an hour, laughing and talking all the while. Steve was a nice guy. You had a lot in common, mostly in your annoyance with your peers. Steve was much more normal than you remembered, much more relaxed and easygoing than the hyper kid who ran circles around you and his friends on the playground. He was a bit of a grown man now. Maturity looked good on him.

Your mother fed the family and Steve was gone quickly, the snow settling fast. Just as quickly as Steve left your house, January passed you by. You spent the month in full wedding mode. You and your mother were high strung. It didn’t help that Carol was rounding seven months pregnant and a nightmare to be around. You spent your free time hiding in your room.

By the time the date came around, you were more than happy to be over everything wedding based. You didn’t care if Carol was marrying a man child and she was pregnant with the next spawn of Satan, you just wanted everything to be done. The dresses fit, the ties matched and were clipped, the wedding dress fitted to Carol’s massive stomach, the caterer’s had the food ready and the cake was iced and cooled. All that was left was to marry them off.

The morning of February 14th, 1987 was one of pure chaos. Tina and Macy had slept over with Carol, although you weren’t into to their bridal pampering. Carol was flashing around her bridal box, full of everything she needed. She was more than ready to be married. You all headed to Marie’s Beauty Parlour to have your hair done at eleven o’clock that morning, yours and Tommy’s mother giddy to be getting rid of their children. Your mother had bought the mustard velour nightmare for herself to wear. She had her hair curled in ringlets and pinned away from her face. You and the other bridesmaid’s were put into tight, poufy bouffant hairstyles. Carol’s being the highest and poufiest of them all. Then, you all waited around while Carol had her makeup professionally done. The rest of you would have to do your own makeup, which you were happy with when you saw the outcome of Carol’s.

The group dressed and did their makeup back at your house, trying to match each other’s makeup. Macy and Tina were deadlocked in attempts to outdo each other. You finished yours first, not worried about overpowering their makeup. You slid into you salmon dress and, at the nagging of your mother, pulled on a pair of pantyhose before putting on your matching wedding shoes. You pinned your little flower pin on your right side and clasped on your necklace, jabbing a pair of tiny silver hoops into your earlobes.

A scream from Carol pulled everyone’s attention to her. She was found crying on the floor in her white wedding lingerie, screaming up at your mother “Where is it?!?”

“What’s wrong, ma?” you asked, stepping through the small crowd and touching your mother’s shoulder.

“Great-grandma Petra’s wedding tiara!” Carol moaned. You looked to your mother with a confused expression. You’d never met your great grandmother. She died before you were born.

“I told you, honey, she was buried with it. I don’t have it.” Your mother said, pulling your sister off the floor “Your mascara is running, honey, you have to stop crying.”

“But now I don’t have anything old and blue!” she cried, letting her mother put her into the stool at her vanity.

“We’ll find you something, let me look through my jewellery box, I’m sure I can fine something-” your mother tried.

“I’m already borrowing your pearls, I can’t get any more luck from you.” She sobbed, her breathing getting ragged. She was going to hyperventilate if someone didn’t do something. You ran to your room, grabbing the blue hair pin off your desk. You had intended on wearing it in your own hair, but the bride needed to be appeased and the conversation needed to be over. You brought the pin into your mother’s room.

“Here,” you held out the pin to Carol “I bought it for myself, but you can wear it. It’s vintage, so it’s old, and it’s blue.” Carol took the pin cautiously, examining it with watery eyes.

Her whole face broke into a wide smile “It’s perfect, Y/N, thank you!” she held out her arms, pulled you into a tight hug. You let her hug you like she meant it. Maybe she did. You weren’t going to forgive her for everything because she was nice to you once. Giving her your pin was just what got you all to the wedding.

The ceremony started on time, which was a shock to you. Stood outside the church, Tina and Macy fussed over Carol veil, which was attempting to blow away in the icy wind. You heard the music start and, on cue, Mason and Kenny opened the doors, Steve and Tommy waiting at the altar. You gripped your roses tightly, making your brisk walk up to the altar. Steve was watching you far too intensely for your liking. You lowered your gaze and made your way to the front. He was too handsome to look at anyway.

The vows went fast, the ceremony was kept short. Everyone at the wedding knew it was a shotgun wedding before they even arrived and nobody really took it seriously. The applause was polite as Tommy and Carol headed to back down the aisle to their getaway car. Steve sidled up to you as you headed down the aisle out of the church.

“You wanna get out of here? We’ve got like an hour to kill for the happy couple to take photos.” He asked, grabbing the crook of your arm and looping his through it.

“Sure…” you muttered. You made it outside, trading your bouquet for your winter coat and following Steve over to his car. You drove out to his house, because it was closer than yours and neither of you wanted to join the festivities there anyway.

“You look…really beautiful, by the way.” He said as he pulled into his driveway.

“Thank you…” you replied shyly, not meeting his eyes “You look really handsome.”

“Thank you…” Steve smiled. He led you to the front of his house and let you into the empty, dark house. You’d never been to Steve’s house, much less without anyone there besides you two. You kicked off your heels, relishing the comfort of being flat on the ground again. Steve’s hands came to your waist and spun you to him carefully.

“Steve, what’re you doing?” you whispered. Something about the scene made you feel like you were sneaking around. Maybe you were. Somewhere in your mind Carol was still watching, hinting, assuming the worst of you. She already thought you were a slut for even hanging out with Steve.

“Well…I was going to kiss the prettiest bridesmaid…” he grinned, leaning down to you.

You pulled back “Why?” you asked, placing your hands on his chest to push him away.

Steve’s hands fell away. He looked at you closely, and then let out a sigh. “Because…I’m crazy about you, Y/N, I can’t stop thinking about you. I thought, well I figured, you felt the same but if I’m wrong I mean tell me now-”

“No! I mean I don’t know…Carol already thinks I’m a slut I don’t want to add to it, I mean if she found out about this…” you replied quickly.

“Y/N,” Steve reached for your arm, pulling you a bit closer. “Can’t you see that she’s just jealous of you? You don’t have to plan your life around her.”

You looked at him sceptically. He didn’t know Carol the way you did. He didn’t live with her. “Steve, it’s never been that simple. You can’t just say that she’s jealous or crazy and move on.” You scoffed.

“Y/N, what are you afraid of?” Steve grabbed your hand.

“I…I’m afraid that…she’s right. That I’ll never be as good as her or as liked as her. I’m afraid that you only like me because of her. That you’ll move on the second you get bored or that this is some elaborate game you and your friends are playing. Like when we were kids and you would play those awful pranks on me.” You explained, looking away from Steve. You felt ashamed of your emotions, of feeling small and useless, like the child you were so certain you’d grown out of being.

Steve swallowed, stepping back again, looking you over with a worried expression. “You are…so different from your sister. And that’s the best thing about you. Carol is Carol, but you? You’re indescribable. You’re so amazing, it kills me. And I would never treat you like the way we used to. We were kids, and I’m so sorry we hurt you. But I would never treat you like that again.”

You inched closer, watching his expression curiously. He looked almost hurt by your words. You didn’t regret them though; you needed to say them to be understood.

“I know that, Steve, I just” you let out a heavy, thick sigh “I’ve always been scared of everything, you included.”

Steve’s face broke into a small smile “You don’t ever have to be afraid of me.” He murmured, his hands coming carefully to your cheeks, running his knuckles up and down your cheek. His lips came gently down to yours. This time, you didn’t pull away. You didn’t want to. Fuck Carol, fuck her stupid ideas on who you were and her damn ugly wedding to a massive idiot. You were allowed your happiness. You were allowed to have Steve. And he’s exactly what you want.

[perriewinklenerdie]

Here, I’ll show you (Ethan Ramsey x MC)

Open Heart, Ethan Ramsey x MC

Author’s note: Hello, hello, hello! This thing took three days to write, and I’m so happy I managed to get it done :D

The idea was a request by a lovely Nonnie, thank you <3

AO3 link:

 https://archiveofourown.org/works/21109424

Enjoy! <3

--------------

Claire left the hospital with a phone in her hand. She had to stop by the shop to buy a few things before joining Ethan that evening. He stopped her in the hall earlier that day, leaned in and practically begged her to come over and help him. his sister called him, asking for a favor. Katie, Ethan’s niece, was supposed to stay with him for a few days. No big deal, he’s done it before, but there was another dimension to his panic. The little girl asked him to do her hair for the party he was supposed to take her to, and that would prove to be a challenge. He couldn’t braid to save his life, and Katie refused to let anyone else do it, so he was stuck. And in desperate need of help.

Fortunately for him, he had a girlfriend. A girlfriend that knew her way around hair, her own blonde locks often pulled back from her face with an intricate braid. He never wanted to find her more than he did in that moment. He was ready to promise her to do about everything once he found her. She was beyond confused, especially when he looked at her as though she hung the moon in the sky, pushed her up against the wall and kissed her as though they were the only people there. He’s never acted that way before, not in the hospital hall, not in the place where people could very easily just walk in on them. She pulled away, laughing a little as his lips made their way down her neck, his stubble tickling her skin.

“What’s gotten into you?” she muttered into the air, trying not to react too loudly as he gripped her hips a little tighter. He hummed into her neck, continuing his ministrations without a single care in the world. Claire squeezed his arms, causing him to stop in his tracks. Her eyes searched his, telling him that she knew he was up to something.

“It’s Katie. She’s staying with me for a few days and I’m supposed to drive her to the party on Saturday.”

“So? What’s the problem? You’ve done it before.” she shrugged, knowing fully well that he didn’t tell her everything.

“She asked me to do her hair. And we both know I don’t know how to do that. So I was hoping that… you could teach me?” he trailed off for a moment before asking, waiting for her reaction. She waited a beat before losing the fight and bursting out laughing. Her forehead rested against his chest, her arms wrapped tightly around him to keep him close.

“Okay, so- wait- I’m sorry, I’m just- woo, okay.” She tried to catch her breath, failing miserably for a couple of times. “Let me get this straight. You tired to seduce me, in the hall of all the places, so that I would go home with you and… teach you how to braid hair?” she asked to make sure she got all the information. He nodded, burying his face in her neck. “You do know that you could have just asked me, right? I mean, don’t get me wrong, you can seduce me any time you want, but you don’t need to do it to get me to help you.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“Now, come on. You started something and I would be highly unsatisfied if you left me alone right now.” she smirked as she pulled him by his hand towards his office, her intentions clear as day to him.

---- ---- ----

She opened the door to his apartment, juggling her bag in one hand and a bag full of groceries and hair accessories in the other. She made sure to buy all the things that would be appealing to a little girl, going as far as to buy a tiara. Claire and Katie had an amazing relationship, the little girl loved her uncle’s girlfriend so much, that she already claimed to be their flower girl on their wedding. Ethan ruffled her hair and told her that they would see what they could do, knowing perfectly well that he was lying. The ring was already bought and hidden, waiting for the right moment.

Or for him to man up and ask Claire to marry him.

“Ethan? I’m back!” she called out as she petted Jenner before moving towards the kitchen. There he was, with two glasses of wine that was too expensive, the one that he insisted on drinking anyway. He approached her, kissing her briefly as he took the bag from her, putting it on the counter.

“Have I mentioned that I love you?” he asked as he slid his arms around her waist, pressing her tightly against his body, their faces close.

“You may have slid it in between the words here and there. But you can say it anytime you want.”

“I love you.” Ethan muttered against her lips before kissing her, more intensely than before, his senses heightened by her closeness. She stroked his cheek tenderly before leaning back, shaking her head.

“No, no, no, mister. We have some business to do. Let’s finish and eat dinner, teach you some braiding and then, maybe you’ll get lucky.” She nuzzled her nose against his, her eyes sparkling with mischief as she whispered. “That depends on how well your fingers are going to work.”

She maneuvered around him, smirking as he groaned behind her back. Working at a record speed, she prepared a meal for them, sitting him down by the table. They conversed a little while eating, Jenner sitting by them too.

“Here, you have- “ Claire leaned in, brushing her thumb against the corner of Ethan’s mouth, wiping it clean. His hands gripped her hips, hauling her onto him, his face burying into her stomach as she stood before him. “You’re tickling me.”

“And you’re teasing me, so we’re even.”

“Okay, mister, let’s get started on the braiding thing.” She pulled him up from his seat and went towards the bathroom, taking her shirt off in the process.

“What are you doing, Rookie?” his eyes dragged over her exposed skin, his expression smug as he followed her.

“We’re going to take a bath. It’s going to be much easier for you to learn on my wet hair. It won’t slip so much, you’ll get a better grip…”

“I swear to god, if you don’t stop that, I’m going to make you beg and scream.” Ethan warned her as he worked on the buttons of his shirt, taking it off and throwing it onto the couch.

“Is that a threat or a promise?” she taunted him, laughing as his eyes got darker. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop. For now. Come, on, let’s get started.”

They got inside the bathtub, her back to his chest. She reached for the bottle of shampoo, but he got it first, lathering her hair up, massaging her scalp. Her eyes fell shut, her whole body relaxing under his touch.

“I like taking care of you.” Ethan muttered, pressing a line of kisses along the line of her shoulders. She hummed, leaning her hair further back.

“I like taking care of you too. And helping you. And making you m-“

“Don’t even think about it, Rookie.” He warned her, laughter coloring his voice.

“I was about to say ‘miss meetings with medical companies’ but okay, Dr. Grumpy”

“Sure you were.”

They finished cleaning themselves, her hair free from the shampoo. Claire sat up, straightening her back, brushing her hair behind her shoulders.

“Okay, we’re going to start slow. I’ll show you a basic braid and once you get a hang of it, we’ll move forward.”

She ran her fingers through her hair a couple of times to get rid of any tangles before proceeding to slowly braid it behind her head. Ethan was quiet, observing her every movement, focused on everything she was doing. Once she was finished, she let the braid go, wet hair ensuring it was kept in place relatively well. He ran his fingers along the lines of it, trying to memorize everything he saw.

“Are you ready to start or do you need more time?” she asked, turning her head to the side to look at him. His eyes were wide, like it was a challenge he couldn’t overcome. “Hey, it’s only hair. It’s not going to bite you. Here.” She detangled her hair and maneuvered his hands to grasp three strands. With her help, he managed to make a clumsy braid. “See? You’re getting there. Now, start over.”

“You don’t mind me playing with your hair like that?” his voice revealed just how insecure he was. Claire turned around, placing her hands on his cheeks. Their lips met in a soft kiss, filling him with warmth.

“I love it when you play with my hair, so by all means…”

As time went on, he got better at it. They moved to more complex braids, the water in the bathtub getting cold by the time they were finished. Claire got out first, drying herself with a towel. Ethan, on the other hand, stayed put, observing her with a smirk. She noticed him staring, looked over her shoulder and bit her lip.

“I would say that you’re the one teasing right now but…” she leaned down, their lips mere millimeters from each other. He ran his fingers along her sides, his eyes falling to her lips and back to her green irises. “… I can’t say I mind that.”

“Well then, let’s see what we can do about it.” he grinned as he got out of the water, grabbing and pushing her up onto the sink.

---- ---- ----

“So, how was the party?” Claire asked as she signed off the paperwork for one of her interns. Ethan stood next to her, a file in his hand.

“Katie was over the moon. She actually said that she didn’t think I could pull it off. When I told her who taught me, she didn’t even blink, just shrugged her shoulders and said ‘Knew it.”. Can you believe the audacity she has?” he huffed, only slightly annoyed at the boldness of the little girl.

“Well, she is your niece, so I’m not that surprised…” she trailed off, bumping her hip against his in a playful manner.

“I’m not sure if I should hope our kids will take after me or no-“ he spoke without thinking about it, cutting himself off in the middle of the sentence. “I- I didn’t mean to-“

“I do hope that our kids take after you. Not everything, of course, god forbid them being as grumpy as you, but-“

“Very funny, Dr. Herondale. Back to work, don’t give your interns a bad example.” He grinned, kissing her goodbye before moving down the hall, leaving her by the nurse’s station, a wide grin and a hint of blush on her cheeks.

-------------

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[nounicornhorn]

a unicorn tale

Follows is an account of my triad as briefly as I could manage. My ex-girlfriend has betrayed and lied about us, and I have long needed to get my truth out there.

So I knew she was controlling, but I had sympathy for her. I saw her feeling trapped in a marriage that didn't quite suit her and had put too many responsibilities on her shoulders. I knew they were trouble and that I had become a battleground for this. I cried myself to sleep on their spare bed wondering if I had ruined them.

He and I had a hard time staying away from each other. I thought he was doing this because we were allowed. When I asked him about it I found out we were not. We continued to have a problem with this, and although she was angry at him, this was far more to my disadvantage.

I knew she thought I was too into him and it was off-putting for her, but I also knew she was jealous. Her jealousy over someone she seemed to feel trapped by was difficult for me to take. But not without reason, I hoped that she had a disordered attachment style. I saw her to pushing both him and I away so that we would fight to get her back.

I have struggled with what emotional abuses to describe and which to skip. Suffice it to say, it is impossible to please my ex-girlfriend. She has always been ruthless and manipulative. I have never in my life been more motivated than I was when I was trying to protect us from her reckless and selfish destruction. Despite it, I always saw her as a vulnerable person and hoped we could be harmonious if we worked to earn her trust. We shared an amazing conversation dynamic and many mutual interests and had so many great moments, even close to our end.

He was my emotional rock, as I'm sure he was also hers. He and I seemed to have a loneliness and a devoted nature in common. I worried about her attitude with him and when he said she was like that when I was not there, I trusted him. I thought he and I could give each other a firm at home bond with little ambivalence. I thought I could give her my time and attention and a safe amount of freedom from him. I thought I could help them, but I knew it would be hard.

I spent tons of time with her, as a triad and a couple. I considered her an essential relationship in my life. I kept trying to earn my place in hers; Her stated reason for breakups was often her lack of interest in me sexually. I tried to argue for a label such as nonsexual romantic or queer platonic, but she insisted that sexual connection was imperative, so I kept trying.

Throughout, I had been considering myself a one-sided primary partner to both. I knew that I was only a secondary partner to them. In our talks, I'd tell him I was concerned she didn't love me and was only using me to bench him. Each time he'd patiently have me turn around and I'd feel encouraged to try to win her over.

When she got a steady boyfriend, she stopped breaking us up. Our quad almost seemed it might work out. Yet she spent way less time with me as soon as she met her new boy, which is why I lost hope of meaning anything more to her.

They had always massively overspent, so I wanted to work to pay for his uncovered medical needs. Years later, I was devastated by my lack of savings. I was working 60+ hr weeks merely trying my hardest to relieve us from her financial abuse. I had to look back and say all my hard work and effort to give them space had only enabled her. She had only become more demanding, abusive, and contradictory and would attack if held accountable.

I got fed up with it and started getting ready to leave, but he needed me and begged me to stay. So I warned them about the conditions where I would not stay: She must lift veto. If her boyfriend left she would not return to her previous behavior of excluding me from sleeping in our bed. She agreed to and told me she loved me, and I was elated. Yet despite everything, her boyfriend left and she immediately wanted to exclude me from same bedroom where I had always been while we were a quad. So I left them.

The next day, I met him and we talked. I agreed to return if he could smooth it over with her and she could re-commit to the rules I set about where I can sleep. I asked for a mutual primary relationship with him equal to hers and for him to stand up for me if she wanted to exclude me or unilaterally break us up. He agreed and returned home to talk with her and I was planning to later join them if it went well.

Instead, that night she hurt him terribly and crossed a very clear line. He fled the house, I picked him up. I was shocked she took her abuse that far. His sullen comments toward me added to my developing fear he resented me for getting tired of her shit.

In the few days after, she kept calling us back to take care of our dogs or other things she needed because she wouldn't do it herself. When we arrived to help her she screamed and unfairly berated us. For reasons such as: I refused to deliver her food once. She accused me of leaving her to die. (She threatened to kill herself if she didn't get what she wanted quite a lot.) Once I returned for medication we all needed and she actually hit me, scattering it all over the floor. "That doesn't belong to you," she said, even though I bought it for us all to share, took a portion and left her more.

When he went back again get our belongings, her aggression and screaming was was horrifying. Her being recorded deterred her none. In the footage, she complained that their unicorn was supposed to be for her and expressed her rage that he was my favorite.

She stole everything I owned that he could not get. She also took much of technically their mutual property really rightfully his, such as his collectables. She seemed ready to keep their dog from him forever, so we took the dog which she left outside with no people at home. (we left her their other dog) We cut contact when she wanted to harass everyone we knew over the dog. She then lied to the police and tried to get him in trouble for things he did not do. She had left her job and could not afford to keep the lease on our home and her dream house, so she totally trashed the place for our return. In court, she throws tantrums and even takes out her rage physically toward people who are there with her to support her.

He and I did not last as a couple to no one's surprise but my own. With her gone, I was no use to him, and I spent some months exhausting myself making sure of this fact.

I feel like I have learned a lot from watching someone I love abuse myself and someone I love. I hope it's given me a unique perspective that some people have expressed interest in. On the chance you have not found this boring and would like to be a beta for further writing, please let me know.

[catalinda04]

Carried Away Chapter 60: Mr & Mrs Cavill

Masterlist 

Once everyone had eaten, and the dishes cleaned, Lucy called all of the adults to the dining room table, and distributed papers. On the paper she had broken down the day by event, and who would be needed at each event. She could see the brothers giving Henry looks about the schedule.

“Yes, boys, I know this is extra Type-A, but I didn’t want a million questions today. So everyone knows where they are expected and when. Right?” she looked around, getting nods from everyone involved. “Good. You’re dismissed.”

Henry followed Lucy as she went to the fridge to retrieve a bottle of water, “you don’t think the schedules are too much, do you?” she asked him hesitantly.

Henry made a thinking face, “it’s on the border.” he confirmed.

Lucy sighed, dropping her head to his chest. “I don’t want to be a bridezilla.”

Henry raised her chin with his finger, “darling, you are not being a bridezilla. You haven’t screamed at anyone. You haven’t made any ridiculous demands on anyone. You’ve even kept your panic attacks mild. No one thinks you’re being a bridezilla. All you did this morning was distribute schedules. Even those were reasonable.”

“I was going to laminate them, but decided not to.”

Henry laughed, “that would have been a step too far.”

Lucy spent some time, as become her daily custom, snuggling with baby Sophia. The little girl had barely spent anytime when she wasn’t in someone’s arms, between her grandmother, mother, aunts, and even her uncles, who all pledged their loyalty to the little princess. When she fell asleep, Lucy laid her down in her crib, and went in search of Henry. She found him playing a racing game game with a few of his nephews.

When his race finished, she called him out, to follow her. He wrapped his arms around her from behind, “What do you need, Cupcake?”

“I wanted to give you your wedding present, I thought you might like to wear it today.”

“Well, if we’re exchanging gifts, let me go get yours,” he said, kissing her temple before turning back toward the game room.

“You hid it in the game room?” Lucy asked.

“It’s the only place I knew you wouldn’t look,” he grinned at her.

Lucy made her way to their bedroom, retrieving a thick rectangle wrapped in silver paper with a cobalt blue bow. Henry joined her, carrying a flat square, wrapped in shiny blue paper.

Lucy handed her box to him. He eagerly ripped the paper, finding a grey box, with a JL logo that he recognized. His eyes met Lucy’s in shock. He gingerly opened the box to find a watch he had modeled several months before, which he had admired.

“Darling, how did you get this? This is too much. How were you able to afford it?”

“I know a guy, or rather, gal. Dany gave me the suggestion, then she negotiated the whole thing. I used the profits from selling my house,” she explained.

“Darling, it’s too expensive, I can’t accept it,” he protested, trying to hand the box back to her.

“I didn’t want to tell you this right now, but I didn’t pay full price. Like I said, Dany negotiated the whole thing. But you have to wear it to the next several public events.”

Henry pressed a kiss to her lips, “you really are too good to me.” He handed her his box.

Lucy gingerly lifted one of the flaps, not wanting to damage her manicure before the pictures that afternoon. She found a plain white cardboard box, similar to what jewelry from an art fair might come in. She lifted the top to find a set of keys attached to a square keychain sporting the picture of the two of them kissing on the London Eye. She lifted them and they jangled against each other. “You gave me keys? What do these keys go to?” She asked apprehensively.

“The Lodge,” he answered proudly.

“You gave me keys to our house for our wedding?” She asked becoming more confused by the minute.

“Yes, I did. I gave you the keys to OUR house,” he replied, stressing the word our. “The Lodge is our house now.”

“The Lodge is ours?” She asked stupidly, her brain refusing to comprehend.

“Yes. Now we have a house in Minnesota that we can visit whenever we want to.” He grinned at her.

Lucy’s gaze darted between the keys in her palm to Henry’s face. “You bought The Lodge? Henry, it’s too much!”

“Cupcake, this place cost less than my house in London, and now we have this amazing house for our use whenever we want. We’re near your parents, and it’s big enough to host my family, if we want to do that again. The sale is conditional upon you signing the paperwork, as the house will be in both of our names. If you truly don’t want us to buy it, we won’t,” he insisted.

She looked at the keys one last time, before launching herself at Henry, knocking him back onto the bed. The planted kisses all across his face. “Thank you, Darcy, it’s the perfect wedding present.

“You father’s primary concern about you marrying me was that I would be ‘taking away his little girl’ I hope this will show him that I have no intention of doing that.”

“I love you, Henry.”

“I love you too, Lucy,” he answered, pulling her close to rest on his chest.  

Before Lucy knew it, it was time for her to leave to have her hair styled. She gathered everything she would need; the next time she entered this house, she would be a married woman. She smiled to herself at the thought.

She pulled Henry to her for a final kiss goodbye. “I’ll see you at the church. Photos start at 3:00, don’t be late.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it Cupcake,” Henry smiled at her retreating form.

Lucy met her mom, Sarah, Emma, Anna, and Jenn at the salon. She planned to wear the earrings and necklace Henry gave her the previous Christmas, and had decided on a simple, elegant modified French twist/braid for her hair to show them off. She laughed and reminisced, and sipped champagne with her girlfriends until it was time to go to the church for the early evening service.

Lucy had stored the dress at her parent’s house, to keep Henry from sneaking a peek before the day. She opened the garment bag, and stared at the blush sparkle. She hadn’t looked at the dress since bringing it home from New York. It was even more beautiful than she remembered.

Her mother helped her into the dress, and pinned the veil into her hair. Lucy looked at herself in the full length mirror and couldn’t contain her smile. She turned toward her bridesmaids, “what do you think?” she asked nervously.

“Lucy you look amazing. That dress is spectacular.” Emma said.

“It has pockets!” Lucy exclaimed, inspiring jealousy from all of her attendants.

“Well, if it has pockets, then you can hang on to these,” Sarah said, handing her several folded tissues.

“What makes you think I’m going to cry?” Lucy asked indignantly.

“You cried at the Hallmark commercial last week,” her mom piped in.

“The little girl was giving her grandpa the toy he’d wanted when he was her age. You’d cry too.” Lucy answered stubbornly, feeling her eyes start to well again. “Fine, I’ll take the tissues.”

When Henry and his family arrived for pictures, Maryanne slipped into the bridal suite.

    “Lucy, my dear, you look lovely.” Maryanne said, embracing her soon-to-be daughter-in-law.

“Thank you, Maryanne.”

“I wanted to bring you this. I am an only daughter, and my mother willed me all of her jewelry when she died. I had hoped to pass it on to my own daughter, but as you know that was not in the cards, as they say. I’ve given each of the girls something to wear for their wedding, and I was hoping you’d wear these for your special day.” She said, producing a square felt box. She handed it to Lucy, who opened it and gasped. Inside she found a pair of sapphire earrings. A teardrop shaped diamond stud connected to large dangling teardrop shaped sapphire, the color almost exactly matching the bridesmaids’ dresses. “When you told me your color scheme for the wedding, I knew these would be the perfect thing. I know you already have your jewelry picked out, so if you don’t want to wear them, I understand.”

“No, Maryanne, they’re perfect. Thank you so much.” Lucy interrupted, embracing the older woman. Lucy unfastened the opal earrings from her ears and slipped the sapphires in.

“They look beautiful on you. My mother would be so happy to see how happy you’ve made my son,” she commented, hugging Lucy again.

Lucy fanned her face, to keep the tears at bay. “Thank you, Maryanne, he’s made me very happy too.”

The photographer chose that moment to collect Lucy for her first look pictures with Henry. The men had been doing their pre-wedding preparations in a separate part of the church, and Henry was now waiting at the altar for his first look at his bride.

Lucy stood at the doors to the sanctuary, seeing Henry in his wedding suit for the first time. His back was to her, his large frame radiating with nervous energy. The photographer took her place before giving Henry the instruction to turn around.

Henry heard the words he had been none-too-patiently waiting for, and turned to the back of the church. There she was, his Lucy, looking more beautiful than he had ever seen her before. His hand flew to his gaping mouth, as he laughed out his emotions. His eyes welled, obscuring his view. He had no memory of moving, but suddenly he was in the middle of the aisle, holding Lucy in his arms. Her face tipped up toward his, he pressed his lips to hers, using his kiss to tell her everything he couldn’t find the words to say.

“I take it you like the dress?” Lucy asked, as she held him at an arm’s length, taking in his wool covered form.

“Darling, I didn’t think I could love you more than I did this morning. This morning pales in comparison to how I feel right now.”

“I could say the same thing,” she smiled up at him. Lucy wasn’t sure how long she and Henry stood, staring at each other in the middle of the church.

“I hate to interrupt this moment, but we do need to keep on schedule,” the photographer interrupted apologetically. “I’m going to go get the rest of the wedding party.”

Lucy thanked the woman, and she and Henry strolled arm-in-arm to the altar. While they waited, Lucy told Henry about his mother’s earrings, causing him to tear up again.

Lucy and Henry posed alone, and with their wedding party and families for, what felt like, a marathon photo session. Lucy had requested several specific shots, her favorite being her garter picture.

Henry knelt on one knee in front of Lucy, while she had her cobalt blue heel resting on his bent knee. Her dress had been hiked up to reveal her cobalt blue garter, with a Tardis affixed to it. Henry’s head flew back as he released a loud boisterous laugh from deep within his chest.

Eventually the whole party retired to the large bridal suite to await their guests. Just before showtime, Charlie, and the rest of the brothers approached the couple. “Lucy, we just wanted to let you know, if you come to your senses while you’re up there, just give us the sign,” he said theatrically scratching his nose with his index finger, “and we’ll provide ample distraction for you to slip out.”

Lucy laughed, “thank you guys, but my gals already have it covered. There’s smoke grenades in the bouquets.” She winked at them as they all roared with laughter.

Charlie turned to Henry, “I knew there was a reason we liked this one,” he commented, slapping his brother on the shoulder.

Finally the time came for the ceremony to begin. Henry left with his brothers to take their place at the front of the sanctuary, while Lucy and her bridesmaids lined up in the back. Henry gave her one last lingering kiss before walking his mother up the aisle.

Quinn started the procession, looking adorable in her flower girl dress. Lucy and Henry had considered long and hard before choosing a ring bearer, not wanting to slight any of the nephews, on either side. Eventually settling on Kal. Henry had a special cobalt bowtie made for him, and the pillow with the rings was attached to his collar. Quinn, held on to his collar as she made her way to the front of the church.

Lucy’s bridesmaids followed Quinn, each looking stylish in their cobalt gowns, Lucy had let each woman choose a dress that was her own, but all of her ladies had chosen gowns featuring the same sweetheart neckline and cap sleeves as Lucy’s dress. They each held a small bouquet of white calla lilies, wrapped with silver and blue ribbons.

Finally it was Lucy’s time. She slid her arm through her father's as the music swelled to signal her procession. She clutched her bouquet of calla lilies, white roses, and blue orchids, wrapped with a cobalt ribbon. They paused at the door to the sanctuary, as the attendees stood to face her. Lucy took a large breath and released it before her eyes locked with Henry’s and she slowly made her way to the altar.

They had decided on a very traditional service, presided over by Pastor Meredith. Lucy had weighed her desire to write their own vows, with her self-conscious hesitation to express all of those emotions aloud to everyone in attendance. Henry suggested that they write their own vows, and read them to each other that night when they were alone. It was at that moment that Lucy was 100% certain she was making the right choice in marrying Henry.

 The service flowed nicely. Kal did exactly as commanded, and sat at Charlie’s feet for the duration of the service. When the time came for Meredith to ask if anyone objects to the union, Lucy gave her best teacher stare to each of her soon-to-be brothers-in-law, none of which made a peep, her bridesmaids, on the other hand, all sounded as if they had contracted bronchitis. Lucy turned to look at them, appalled. They all responded with their best innocent expression, and as she turned back to face Henry, she caught the groomsmen giving each other fistbumps. The audience gave a great laugh of approval. She heaved an exaggerated sigh, and motioned Meredith to continue.

Lucy was thankful for the videographer, because she couldn’t remember a single thing about the wedding, except their perfect first kiss as husband and wife. When the kiss ended, they stayed close, breathing the same breath, before locking eyes, and turning toward their assembled friends and family.

They made a quick dash to the back of the church, followed by their attendants, who found Lucy wrapped around Henry. “Eeeeewwww,” Quinn commented as she made her way into the entry of the sanctuary. Henry and Lucy jumped apart like guilty teenagers.

The receiving line seemed to take forever. Lucy’s head spun as she was introduced to family members and friends she hadn’t met yet. She was thankful for the opportunity to thank Victoria in person for her part in helping Lucy procure her dress. Lucy had never enjoyed being the center of attention, but with Henry’s presence there to soak-up some of the limelight, she was the happiest woman in the world.

After what seemed to Lucy like a millennia, they all made their way to the limo Henry had arranged to take the whole wedding party to the hotel that would be hosting the reception. When they had gathered all of their things, and were making their way to the reception, Lucy turned on her friends. “How dare you?” She asked mock indignantly.

“It was their idea.” Sarah said, pointing to Henry’s brothers.

“But you went along with it!” Lucy smiled, letting her friend know she was not, in fact, angry.

“I thought it was pretty funny.” Emma chimed in.

“It was,” Lucy grudgingly admitted.

“Well, Mrs. Cavill,” Henry said handing her a flute of champagne.

“Yes, Mr. Cavill.” Lucy responded.

“I do believe it is time to get this party started,” he said, inclining his flute toward hers.

“Yes, my dear, I do believe you’re right,” she agreed, clinking her glass with his.

Lucy and Henry made their grand entrance to “Shut-up and Dance with Me.” Through the months of planning, Lucy had insisted that, since Tom would not be attending, Henry would have to dance with her whenever she asked.

They took their seats at the head table, and waited for dinner to be served. Lucy had taken control of the wedding ceremony, but Henry had done most of the planning for the reception. She didn’t even know what their first dance song would be.

“We don’t have a song.” Lucy moaned, as they sat together on the big sofa in The Lodge’s living room.

“What about the first song we danced to?” Henry suggested.

“Think of Me, isn’t a wedding song.” She insisted. “Think of me/think of me fondly / When we've said goodbye / Remember me, once in a while / Please, promise me you'll try / When you find that, once again, you long / To take your heart back and be free / If you ever find a moment / Spare a thought for me” she sang the first few lines of the song for him.

    “No, I don’t suppose that is. Cupcake, why don’t you let ME worry about finding our first dance song?”

    “I don’t know. What if you...No, I have to trust you, trust that you’ll make a good decision. But I have a couple of requirements.”

“Of course you do,” he grinned at her.

“I want it to be something romantic, don’t go for a joke. And it needs to be something we can dance to. Promise me you’ll give this some thought, and not wait until the last minute.”

“I promise darling. Now, what’s next on your to do list?”

Lucy perused the list seriously, before looking up at him. “It says here, make-out with your fiance,” she sighed, “I suppose if it’s on the list…” she said climbing into his lap.

“I love your lists.” He replied.

Unsurprisingly Henry chose roast as one of the main courses offered for dinner. He was a man of simple tastes and was a fan of simple food, executed well. He also chose some sort of fish, and a vegetarian option. Lucy was impressed with his attention to detail. She made a mental note to ask Dany how much help she had given him.

Toward the end of the dinner, Charlie, in his capacity as best man, stood to give his toast. “Good evening everyone, for those of you who don’t know me, I’m Charlie. I’m Henry’s younger, better looking brother. When Hank first called us to say he’d met someone, an American no less, we were a bit hesitant, sorry Lucy.” He gave a short pause to see that Lucy wasn't offended.

“But he just wouldn’t shut-up about this amazing woman. How she was funny, and sweet, and adventurous, and kind and the list just kept going. My first thought was either he’s dating literal Wonder Woman, or he’s in deep,” he paused for a short laugh from the audience. “We first got to meet Lucy last Christmas. Now we Cavill brothers can be a bit overwhelming, but Lucy gave as good as she got, and we realized, Hank hadn’t been exaggerating. Lucy was all of the things he said she was. So Lucy, Wonder Woman, or not, we are all so happy to have you join the family, and remember, he’s yours now, no returns.” He handed the microphone to Sarah, and embraced first Henry then Lucy.

“What if I have a gift receipt?” She asked him.

Charlie shook his head, “nope, sorry, not even then,” he smiled.

“Damn,” was her only reply.

Sarah stood to give her toast next. “Hi everyone, I’m Sarah, I’m Lucy’s best friend. Lucy and I have known each other since college, where we were both language nerds. But in our capacity as language nerds, we learned the importance of words and communication.” She paused to lay a hand on Lucy’s shoulder, taking a moment to make eye contact with her best friend and the man she knew was perfect for her.

“Lucy, Henry, just like in the language classroom, communication is the most important thing in a marriage. I know you don’t always speak the same language, that whole biscuit/cookie debate has me shook,” she shivered dramatically at the very thought, and the guests chuckled. “but if you communicate with love, I know your marriage will last. Love is truly the universal language, and you two have been speaking it since day one. So, congratulations you two, and Henry, remember what I told you the first time we talked,” she finished with a wink in his direction.

Lucy dabbed her eyes as she hugged her friend, and the DJ announced the time had come for the first dance. Henry took Lucy’s hand and led her onto the dance floor as the first strains of music started to play. He swung her into his arms, as they started to sway and a smooth male voice began to sing.

Something in your eyes / Makes me want to lose myself / Makes me want to lose myself / In your arms / There's something in your voice / Makes my heart beat fast / Hope this feeling lasts / The rest of my life / If you knew how lonely my life has been / And how long I've been so alone / If you knew how I wanted someone to come along / And change my life the way you've done

Lucy’s eyes were locked on Henry’s as she listened to the lyrics of the song he had chosen, tears blurring her vision as the chorus swelled.

It feels like home to me / It feels like home to me / It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from / It feels like home to me / It feels like home to me/ Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong     Lucy laid her head on Henry’s chest as the music continued. She listened to his steady heartbeat as his strong arms wrapped around her.

If you knew how much this moment means to me / And how long I've waited for your touch / If you knew how happy you are making me / I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

As the song faded out on a chorus, Henry smiled at his wife, he leaned close to speak softly into her ear. “Did I choose the right song?”

“I think it was the perfect choice.”

“I don’t have to ask you to come home with me this time, like the song says, you are home to me.” Henry murmured.

Lucy looked deep into his eyes, before holding his face between her hands to bring his mouth to hers. “I love you.”

“I love you too, darling,” he replied, smiling at the woman who in such a short amount of time had become his whole world.

When the time came for them to cut the cake, they posed for several pictures, before cutting into the pristine white frosting. Henry had deferred to Lucy’s superior baking knowledge, when it came to choosing the cake. The resulting stack of square cakes was plainly decorated with white icing and cobalt sugar pearls lining the bottom of each tier. A friend of Lucy’s had made the cake topper: a polymer clay Lucy and Henry standing with one arm around each other, and Kal sitting at their feet.

They cut their first slices of cake, and prepared to feed each other the first bites, as was tradition. Lucy broke off a chunk of the white cake, as Henry did the same. She pointed a finger at her husband, “I’m warning you right now, if you smash cake in my face, you’re going back to The Lodge with your parents, and Kal and I will go to the hotel suite.”

Henry leaned across the small table to kiss her lightly, “Cupcake, I wouldn’t dream of it,” he grinned cheekily at her.

The dancing had continued for about an hour before Piers stepped up to the DJ. “Good evening everyone. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Piers, Henry’s eldest brother. Many of you may know what is coming, but if you don’t, while my brothers prepare,” he motioned to Nik and Simon moving chairs to the middle of the dance floor, while Charlie dragged the bride and groom to them, “let me enlighten you. When I married my beautiful wife Olivia, my darling brothers serenaded us with what can only be described as the worst singing ever heard.” He paused for the laughter that rolled through the room.

“But as awful as their singing was, it started a tradition, that we Cavill brothers prepare a special song for each of our brothers’ weddings. So, I would like to apologize in advance, but we are about to sing.”

Lucy and Henry sat in the places they had been directed to, as the brothers stood on either side of them, each holding a microphone. The music started, an electronic sounding keyboard, that Lucy instantly recognized, and started laughing, even before the Cavill men’s vocals started.

Nik began the verse. “Picture yourself in a boat on a river / With tangerine trees and marmalade skies / Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly / A girl with kaleidoscope eyes”

Charlie took over for the next part, “Cellophane flowers of yellow and green / Towering over your head / Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes / And she's gone” He sang, over-emoting each line.

When the chorus came, all four brothers “sang” at the top of their lungs.  “Lucy in the sky with diamonds / Lucy in the sky with diamonds / Lucy in the sky with diamonds”

Lucy swayed along with the brothers, preparing for the second verse, when the music changed, to what sounded like the starting notes of the French national anthem, confusing Lucy entirely, before the Cavill men started singing.

“Love, love, love / Love, love, love / Love, love, love”

Nik, Simon, and Charlie kept up the chorus of love, love love, as Piers began the first verse. “There's nothing you can do that can't be done / Nothing you can sing that can't be sung / Nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game / It's easy”

Piers jumped back onto the chorus, as Simon finished the verse his brother started. “Nothing you can make that can't be made / No one you can save that can't be saved / Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you in time / It's easy”

All four brothers finished their serenade strong by belting out the chorus loudly, and only slightly off key. “All you need is love, all you need is love /  All you need is love, love, love is all you need”

When they’d finished their singing, and accepted their applause, Piers returned to the microphone. “Henry, Lucy, we love you both, be good to one another.” He said, kissing his fingers in their direction.

Lucy and Henry danced the night away with their friends and family, until the DJ announced five minutes to midnight. The servers brought around flutes of champagne for everyone to toast the new year.

As the crowd counted down, Lucy wrapped her left arm around Henry’s waist, locking eyes with him. When midnight struck, they kissed a beautiful, deep, soulful kiss; a promise of the rest of the night to come.

Lucy downed her champagne in one drink, “what do you say we get out of here?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Henry grinned. They said their goodbyes, slipped out of the ballroom, and made their way to the bridal suite. When they arrived, they found a silver bucket with another bottle of champagne, a bowl of strawberries, and a pepperoni pizza. The pizza had a note attached from Sarah. “Lucy-loo, I knew you’d be hungry after the long night of partying, I know I was. Enjoy the pizza, you don’t have to try to fit into that wedding dress anymore!” Lucy laughed at her friend’s message, and picked up a slice of the hot greasy pie, suddenly feeling ravenous. Henry joined her for a slice.

After enjoying their pizza, they sat, facing each other on the bed. The vows they'd written for each other in their hands.

Lucy started, her hands shaking slightly with nerves. “Henry, I literally never thought I would find someone like you. You’ve brought so much joy to my life. You’ve shown me how to love, and what love truly means. You are one of the most generous, genuine, caring people I’ve ever know. I know that my life is better by having you in it. I am so excited to start our life together, and see where it takes us. I know that no matter what life may throw at us, I can overcome it, as long as you are by my side.” She managed to keep her tears at bay, as she poured out her heart to him, but when she met his eyes, to find them glistening, her tears fell in happy, emotional rivers down her cheeks.

Henry leaned across the space separating them to kiss her tears away. He feared the vows he’d written couldn’t compare with hers. He took one deep breath, before beginning. “Lucy, Cupcake, Darling. I struggled with putting my words on paper, to express just how I feel about you, because I don’t think the words have been invented yet to describe just how happy you have made me. Happy seems like such a shallow word for the depth of my love for you. Through my own stupidity, I know what it is to live without you in my life. That life is colder than MN in January, and completely devoid of color. You’ve given me something to strive for. I am always working to be the man you think that I am. You’ve given me love, and a home, and a place where I feel like I belong. I know that life with me will not be easy, but as long as you are with me, I can promise you, it will be worth it.” He didn’t dare look up from his paper the entire time he read the vows he’d written, fo fear he wouldn't be able to finish around the emotions threatening to overcome him. He raised his eyes to hers, “Lucy, I love you so much, and I can’t believe that I get to spend the rest of my life calling you my wife.”

Lucy hadn’t stopped crying since reading her vows. She reached into the pocket of her dress to find her last tissue. She dabbed at her eyes, willing the tears to stop. When she’d dried her face, she launched herself at Henry, who caught her around the waist and fell back against the mountain of pillows at the head of the bed.

“I love you, Mr. Cavill.”

“I love you too, Mrs. Cavill.  

Chapter 59            Chapter 61

[urdearestmom]

long distance (mileven week)

February 1990, Hawkins, IN

Jane “El” Hopper is the last one out of the library tonight. At first, Marissa had been reluctant to give her the job given she was Hopper’s kid and Marissa didn’t exactly have the highest opinion of the town’s chief, but she took a chance and El is quickly proving herself worthy. She loves being in the library, surrounded by words. She didn’t have them for so long that being somewhere full of words is still a wondrous thing. It probably always will be.

Anyhow, she’s got to lock up before she heads home for dinner, and even though it’s only just after six o’clock, it’s already dark out. It’s as cold as a Midwestern winter usually is, which is to say very cold. El wonders if it’s as cold where Mike is.

She almost drops her keys in the snow as she goes to open the Blazer she’d inherited from Hopper after the station bought a new one (Hopper had helped her repaint it a nice blue so she didn’t have to drive around in a truck with “HAWKINS POLICE” emblazoned across the sides), but she fumbles and catches them. The radio’s playing that one Phil Collins song as she pulls away from the library in the direction of her house.

Hopper’s not coming home until late, El knows he isn’t, but it doesn’t help to make her feel less lonely when she pulls up outside the dark house. It really sucks not having any of her friends in town. They’ve all spread out across the country: Max went back to San Diego, Will and Dustin to New York, Lucas to Seattle, and Mike to Connecticut. God, did it really have to be so far? Sometimes the only thing that keeps her from plunging into “the depths of despair”, as Dustin used to call it, is the fact that she’s going to see him soon.

Max and Lucas are the farthest away, but El has a totally different relationship with them than she does with Mike. Her need to see them and be with them is so much less pressing. That’s why, with Hopper’s help planning, El’s been saving money to take a trip to Connecticut. The thing is, Mike doesn’t know about it. And although it’s very hard to keep a secret from him, El promised herself she wouldn’t give it away.

She’s about to start washing dishes when the phone rings, and she knows exactly who it is. Mike always calls around this time. They usually only speak over the phone once a week because long distance calls are expensive, and even though El could just talk to her boyfriend over the psychic link she can create, she doesn’t like doing that. It’s draining.

They mostly send each other letters but Mike insists he’ll go insane if he can’t listen to her voice, so he calls once every Wednesday.

“Hello?”

El keeps the cordless phone Hopper bought recently hovering by her ear as she starts to wash her plate.

“Hey, El.”

“Hi, Mike.”

“What are you doing?”

El sighs. “Washing dishes. I’m home alone tonight.”

“That sucks. Hopper’s late again?”

“It’s winter. Lots of accidents.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Mike agrees. “I miss you,” he adds somberly.

El scrubs harshly at a stain on the plate. “Me too. I’m lonely all the time.”

“Valentine’s is next week. I wish I could be there with you, it’ll be our first one we haven’t spent together.”

Mike sounds upset, and it’s this kind of thing that makes El just want to spill her secret surprise plans. She’s going to get there on Valentine’s Day, which is the Wednesday, but she’s got to leave on the Friday because Yale only allows guests for three days.

Which is better than nothing, El supposes, but she wishes it didn’t have to be like this at all.

She hears another voice in the background ask an unintelligible question, to which Mike responds, “My girlfriend, dumbass. I call her every week, you should know this by now.”

The voice laughs and says something else. Mike sighs. “I am so done with you. Can you believe my roommate still doesn’t think you’re real, El?”

El snorts. “You’re on the phone with me, how am I not real?”

“I mean he doesn’t believe the person I’m talking to is my girlfriend. He doesn’t think I could get one. Lack of faith, if you ask me!” He says the last part louder, clearly directed at the other person in the room with him.

El wants to laugh. He’ll be proven wrong next week. “Mike, I think we gotta go. Long distance, remember?”

“Right, right,” he says. “I just posted my letter this afternoon, so hopefully you’ll get it soon. I love you.”

“Love you too. Have a good night.”

There’s a click and Mike is gone. El sighs again and focuses on her dishes. Long distance sucks.

Wednesday morning dawns bright and early. It’s Valentine’s Day and there’ve been paper hearts and lovey-dovey shit stuck everywhere in the buildings on campus for the last few days. They make Mike feel like a middle schooler with no one to be his Valentine again. The only person he’d want to be his Valentine anyway is about 850 miles away, so he’s kind of screwed on that front. He just really misses her. He saw El at Christmas, but it’s been way too long already. He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to survive the rest of college with her so far away.

His roommate, Eric, wakes him with a pillow to the face, poking fun at him for not having anyone to go to the off-campus party with later. Mike wasn’t going to go anyway, considering it’s Wednesday, but whatever.  

“Where’s your girlfriend now, huh Wheeler?” He teases.

Mike almost wants to punch him in the face. Today’s already going to be shitty, he doesn’t need this. “I told you she’s at home. Can you stop?”

Eric grins. “What was her name again? Eleven?”

Mike groans. “Yes, but she doesn’t like it. We don’t call her that.”

“You totally made that up! Who the fuck names their kid Eleven?” Eric has sat down on his bed again, kicking his feet up into the air.

“It’s a long story that I’m never going to tell you.”

“Yeah, because it doesn’t exist!”

Mike turns over and buries his face in his pillow. “Eric, I swear to god. Just because I only have, like, one picture of her doesn’t mean she’s fake.”

Eric snorts. “The girl’s obviously real, I just don’t think she’s your girlfriend. Girls like that don’t date guys like you, man.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence. Can you leave me alone now?”

“You probably write those letters to yourself, don’t you?”

“Why would I go to all the effort of doing that just to convince you that I have a girlfriend? I don’t care that much about your opinion, you know,” Mike retorts, turning his head to allow himself to breathe and glare at his roommate.

Eric was an okay guy at the beginning of first semester, but Mike had quickly gotten tired of being teased about his apparent singleness. Eric absolutely refused to believe that his nerdy roommate (who also wasn’t exactly conventionally attractive) could possibly be dating someone. Even after being shown the picture of her that Mike always kept in his wallet, and being witness to phone calls between them on more than one occasion, and seeing Mike writing letters, Eric could not and would not be convinced that El was really Mike’s girlfriend.

Mike thinks it might be because the fact that they’ve been dating since they were thirteen is kind of surreal, even to him sometimes. Especially to someone like Eric, who goes through girls like nobody’s business. Mike has seen him “date” five girls since they started school in September.

Eric narrows his eyes. “I wouldn’t be surprised. I’ve seen people do the weirdest shit just because they’re embarrassed about something. You know, I haven’t wanted to say this, but I suspected it from the beginning. You just don’t want to admit you came to college a virgin, right? ‘Cause I’d be embarrassed if I were you.”

And he’s crossed the line. “Eric,” Mike says, finally sitting up, looking crazed with his hair sticking up every which way, “I literally could not give less of a fuck what you think about my virginity. It’s not any of your business, nor is it anyone else’s.”

Eric’s still looking at Mike as he gets out of bed. He shoves on the first shirt he sees and aggressively pulls on a pair of socks, not changing out of his pyjama pants. He only has one class today anyway, and he’ll have time to come back and change before he goes to work.

“Listen, man, I’m sorry if that offended you, I just think you might be going a little too far with this whole charade,” says Eric quickly. And wow, Mike just loves when Eric pretends to be concerned about him. He can’t fucking wait for next year so he can get a new roommate who is hopefully better than this one.

He can feel the anger rising and has to take several deep breaths in order to not blow up. Come on, Mike, you’re better than this… Mike grabs his key and shoves it in his backpack along with his wallet and the binder he needs for his class before rounding on the meathead behind him. “At least I’m not going around messing with girls the way you do. That’s what’s going too far. You treat them like shit and then you just dump them like they’re nothing. They’re people, asshole, and so am I. Watch what you say.”

He wrenches the door open and, noting that there’s no one currently in the hall, turns back to his dumbass roommate. “And for the record, not that it matters, but I’m not a virgin. Thanks for the concern, though.”

Mike makes sure to close the door as threateningly as he can without slamming it too hard. That ought to get the message through.

El decides that if she ever does this again, she’s flying. Driving from Hawkins to New Haven has been so tiring it’s ridiculous. The trip itself takes about thirteen hours, but she stopped every three for breaks, so she’s actually been on the road for closer to about fifteen hours and she’s hated every minute of it since hour four. She left at five in the morning, six in the time zone Connecticut is in, and it’s nearing nine at night. The sole thing that has kept her going all day is that at the end of it all, she’s going to get to surprise Mike.

El knows he works at a bookstore on campus, so she’s going straight there, hoping to arrive before he locks up and leaves. The store closes at nine, after all. But there’s traffic.

After much deliberation and the passage of the nine o’clock hour, El changes course and heads to the residence buildings instead. She doesn’t know which one Mike lives in, or what floor, or which room, but she has something almost like an inner compass that always leads her to him. He’s the magnetic north to her Earth. God, we’re such nerds.

It’s like an actual game of hot and cold, but instead of hot and cold it’s more of a pull. The pull is stronger when she’s close to Mike and weaker the further away she is, but it’s always there if she chooses to pay attention to it. They discovered it playing hide and seek when they were fourteen and have occasionally made use of it since, like now. El follows the pull to an old-looking building and sits inside the Blazer contemplating it before killing the engine.

Inside is much warmer, the yellow lighting casting a cozy glow over the stairwell. There’s a door on the other side leading to the ground floor, but El’s instincts are telling her upstairs is the right way to go. She stops in the third-floor hallway for a second before going left. A door opens and shuts behind her and she hears footsteps make their way to the main door and disappear down the stairs.

Two doors down from the end of the hall, El comes across a door with the names Eric & Mike written on the chalkboard hanging on it and she knows it’s the right one. She can hear muffled voices from inside, but she’s too excited to wait for them to stop talking. The door swings open almost immediately after she knocks, revealing a young man who is decidedly not El’s boyfriend. This must be Eric.

He gives her a sleazy grin. “Hello, pretty lady,” he says, raising an eyebrow in what El’s sure he thinks is an attractive way. In all honesty, it probably would be if El wasn’t strictly Mike-sexual. “What brings you here?”

El doesn’t have time to respond before she hears the most beautiful voice in the world speak instead. “Can you take her to the party with you? Don’t stay here.”

Even when his words are sharp, Mike’s voice is calming. It washes over her like a warm bath, steadying her nerves. She still has a hard time speaking to people she’s not familiar with. El just wishes Mike had already seen her standing there, but he’s rooting around in the closet space by his bed.

She clears her throat lightly and smiles. “I’m actually looking for my boyfriend,” she says, and she sees Mike pause.

Eric shoots a look at his roommate. “You won’t find him here,” he answers, followed by a derisive snort.

El smiles again. “I think I might. Mike?”

At this, Mike removes his head from his closet and turns around, and the look on his face is priceless. He looks so shocked that El almost wants to laugh at him, but she’s also so happy to see him herself that all she can do is allow her face to mold itself into an ear-splitting grin.

“El?” And it’s almost like that night all over again, except without the overwhelming stress of the situation they’d all been in the time. But all the same, El can feel tears build in her eyes and spill down her cheeks as the stupidly huge amount of love she feels for this boy threatens to have her implode on the spot.

She laughs wetly and holds her arms out. “Surprise?”

“Oh my god,” he says, tripping over himself to get to her. When he does, he envelops her in a hug so tight she almost can’t breathe. “I can’t believe you’re here!”

El wraps her arms around Mike just below his shoulders and buries her face in his chest, inhaling the familiar scent of the detergent his mom uses (that he’s taken the habit of using as well to college with him). It’s the most wonderful feeling in the world to have him close and be able to hug him like this. Hearing his voice over 850 miles of cables and hearing it in person are two very different things.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” Mike asks breathlessly, pulling out of the hug but keeping his hands on her waist. They’re in their own world now, Eric forgotten in the corner.

“I wanted to surprise you for Valentine’s Day,” El replies, and she smiles.

Mike moves his hands to cup her face before he kisses her, and she’s melting. She hasn’t kissed him in two months and it’s like a thirsty man finding water in the desert. She needs this. She needs to be able to touch him and feel that he’s there, to know that he will be there when she needs him, just like she wants to be there when he needs her. That’s what their relationship has been since day one; being there for each other is the basis of how they care for one another.

El pulls away when she’s out of breath, her lips aching to be back against Mike’s, but she remembers that someone else is in the room. Eric is standing awkwardly behind Mike with wide eyes.

El smirks. “Do you believe him yet?”

Eric’s mouth works but words don’t come out. Must be quite a shock, then.

Mike wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her into the room, falling back onto his bed with a thump. “You can leave now, Eric. Have fun at the party,” he says, and then he does a sarcastic little wave and Eric quickly walks out the door, shutting it behind him.

A sigh escapes Mike. “Fuck him, ugh,” he remarks. “This morning he accused me of making you up because I didn’t want to admit that I’m a virgin. Which I haven’t even been in like, over a year, but okay, I guess.”

El wrinkles her nose and cuddles up to Mike’s side. “Why does it matter?”

“It doesn’t, Eric’s just a fuckwad who doesn’t understand when things don’t go the way he thinks they should.”

Mike leaves a feather-light kiss on the tip of El’s nose and smiles lovingly when he looks at her again. “I still can’t believe you’re actually here. How long are you staying?”

A yawn forces its way out of her. “Friday, ‘cause you said if I ever visited it could only be three days. My stuff is in the Blazer, I was trying to get to the bookstore before you finished work but there was traffic so I just came here instead.”

“Well,” says Mike, a yawn escaping him as well, “I need to go take a shower, but you can just stay here, you’re probably dead tired.”

El nods. “Driving all day.”

He kisses her again, more intimate than by the door because Eric had still been in the room, but still just so simple and beautifully amazing that El can’t help but sigh and chase after his face with her own when he moves away. She doesn’t catch him, though, because he gets up.

“Where’re your keys?” Mike asks. “I’ll go out to the truck and get your stuff when I’m done showering.”

“Here,” she answers, pulling them out of her back pocket and throwing them for him to catch as she sits up and removes her coat.

“Okay,” says Mike, sweeping his stuff and her keys into a towel and wrapping it all up, “I’ll be back soon. You can go to sleep.”

He’s about to go into the hall when El calls him back.

“What?”

“...can I just have one more kiss?”

Mike rolls his eyes but walks back over to her and grants her wish. The press of his warm and familiar lips against her own is gratifying after so long without it. “I love you so much,” he says. “But I need to shower and you need to sleep.”

El pouts. “Okay.”

Mike frowns. “Don’t give me that face, it’s making me want to kiss you more.”

She grins. “I’m not complaining.”

He rolls his eyes again. “Of course not. Go to sleep. ”

“Fine, dad.”

El lies down and tucks herself under the covers of his bed, watching as he waits to make sure she’s alright before flipping the light switch and heading out.

“I love you,” she whispers through the dark.

“I love you too,” Mike whispers back.

“Love you more.”

“Oh my god, El, not this again!”

“But it’s true!”

“Is not!”

“Is too!”

“We love each other equally!”

“Do we, though?”

“You know what? This isn’t happening. Good night.”

[tcswritings]

At first sight.

Have some Charlie and James. Have some twins. Have some Charlie and James again. Have some Orla. Have some more Charlie and James. In short: Have the not so exciting conversations and events that lead up to that first kiss between Orla and James

I had an Anon asking about my peeps’ first kisses a while ago already and I just happened to find this Orla/James draft I started a while ago and decided to get back to it again. I love me some James and Orla even though they’re highly dysfunctional at this point. Or, maybe, just because of that ‘cause ‘not really functioning’ doesn’t keep them from having the feels for each other.

Orla and James met in rather, well, tense times, in March 2017. They were both dealing with some things in their lives that put a damper on both of their moods. So, it’s safe to say that neither her or him expected any of the events that were about to happen.

WARNING: The following rather messy/sketchy/incoherent rambling/writing has James and O’Connells in it. Read as: there will be bad language and probably inappropriate stuff and phrasings at times. Whatever you might wanna call it - read at own risk!

About three months prior to meeting his future girlfriend for the first time, James learned that his ex-fling, Sophie, was expecting his child and he didn’t take the news well. It’s not like Sophie put any pressure on him. In fact, letting James off the hook was the first thing she did, knowing that he never wanted anything to do with kids. James still didn’t feel good about the whole matter. He was nervous, he was mopey, he was irritated, he just felt bad all the time.

That’s when Charlie decided to invite James to come along to Ireland with her. She and Kieran had pretty much just started their romance (around Christmas 2016, to be specific) and she was just about to go to Galway   for the first time as his girlfriend. So she suggested to James to come along. Charlie knew that Kieran’s younger siblings would be around as well. He had mentioned it a while ago and she was excited to finally meet them.

“I don’t wanna go to Ireland.” James moaned. “Why would I want to go to a place that has even more freaks like your-”

“Shuuush.” Charlie cut him off. “I mean, you don’t have to go? I’m not forcing you but just think about it for a sec, will ya?”

“I don’t know, Chuck. Maybe. Ireland is boring, though, I’ve been there.”

“It’s not boring just ‘cause you didn’t like it, dunno, 20 years ago?”

James just went on without picking up on Charlie’s remark. “Besides, you guys are gonna be busy fuckin’ your brains out anyway. Don’t need me for that.” James made a face and looked at his friend. “I hope?”

Charlie closed her eyes. “I’m just going to ignore that.” she murmured, and a few moments later she went on. “Look, you can stay here and mope and be a pain to anyone around you. If that’s what you want, fine. Do it. If I have to answer just one of your whiny calls while I’m busy doing what you just said, though, I’m going to be seriously mad.”

“Oh, here’s a pro tip. Turn the phone off.”

“James!”

“What? It always worked for me?”

“You know what I mean!” Charlie pleaded. “Just think about it! You need a change, you need to get your mind off that thing every once in a while. Going things over and over in your head won’t get you anywhere! I know what I’m talkin’ about, I’m the queen of overthinking!”

“What do you mean by ‘whiny calls’ anyway?”

“Three days ago you called and whined to me ‘cause you didn’t get any fries with your burger. I can only imagine what happens when you get whiny about your situation again and I’m not around.”

“Fair enough.” James took a breath. “Okay, I’ll think about it!” he relented eventually and slumped back in his chair.

“Promise?”

“YES, for fuck’s sake.”

Charlie looked at James for a little while, amused and smiling.

James noticed and he groaned. “What now?!”

“Yoooou… just pretend to think about it, ‘cause we both already know you’re going, right?”

“If I say yes, will you shut up and stop staring at me like that?”

“Mhm!” Charlie nodded enthusiastically.

“Great. Yes. Everything you just said. Happy?”

“Attaboy.” Charlie laughed and now rose from her chair and grabbed her coat and handbag. “I’ll send you a screenshot of my ticket later - make sure you’ll get a seat next to mine.”

“I’m bookin’ last minute, Chuck.“ James sighed. “I’ll get what I get.”

“Just buy the airline then, it’s not like you couldn’t?”

“Don’t push it.” James murmured and he reached for his laptop. Crossing his legs and making himself comfortable in his armchair, he waited for the computer to boot.

“Alright, fine. I’ll be at the O’Learys around nine and you better have a ticket then.”

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, are you bossing your Irishman around like that?”

“Not yet.” Charlie smiled. “You’re more fun to boss around anyway.” She leaned down and kissed the side of James’ head.

He smiled. “Get out.”

Charlie couldn’t help but feel really statisfied with herself while leaving James’ apartment. She was certain that this trip would help him get his mind off everything and maybe even help him figure some things out. It usually worked for her. If not - well, they would still have a great time.

______________

A few weeks later, the two of them got on a plane from Boston to Dublin, pretty much at the same time the O’Connell twins were on their way to Dublin as well, going by Orla’s old car. They had just gotten back on the road after they had to take a little pit stop in Athlone because Declan kept complaining about a noise he thought the car was making and he refused to drive another mile unless someone took a look at it.

“Relax, Dipso, the guys said everything is fine!”

“But it’s still makin’ that noise!” Declan insisted. “Just get this mess of a car to Mick already! These guys probably didn’t even really look at it.”

“Oh come on, how can you even pretend to hear a noise with that shit comin’ out of the radio anyway?”

“Shit?!” Declan exclaimed, outraged. “That’s not shit?! It’s some o’ the finest thrash from Germany, mind you.”

“Yeah. Trash really puts it really well.” Orla murmured and now bent down to her bag on the floor, frantically looking for a snack.

Declan, not really keen on explaining the difference between ‘trash’ and ‘thrash’ to his sister again, especially not in a moment she obviously didn’t care about getting a lesson in Heavy Metal History, rolled his eyes and sighed, as he turned the volume down. “Oh hell, you’re in a mood?!”

“I know, and I’m sorry.” Orla now moaned, although she sounded apologetic. She got back up and opened a bag of chips. “I just-” she paused and sighed, “I still don’t know what to do about Rick.”

“You promised you would try and not overthink it.” Declan groaned. “That’s why we’re sittin’ in this car, right?”

“I know, it’s just so hard to not think about it. Why can’t this shit be easy just once?”

Declan gave a dry laugh. “You askin’ me that.” he muttered and reached over to grab a handful of chips out of the bag that was sitting in his sister’s lap.

“Oh come on, you don’t have any reason to complain - whoa, careful, I don’t want no crumbs in my car! - you’re totally in the honeymoon phase with Samantha after all.”

“Shtill ain’t easy, though?” Declan spoke with his mouth full. “Shorry ‘bout the crumbsh.” he added.

“Everything’s easy in that phase. Being with Rick was so easy back then. We had the best times, I swear.” Orla recalled and smiled to herself at the thought of it.

“Uh. Can we not talk about your honeymoon phase with Rick, please?”

“Oh man, I wasn’t goin’ to go into detail.”

“Good. Chips.” Declan demanded.

Orla held the bag out to her brother. “It’s just that… I don’t know? I wish fate could give me some sort of a sign, y’know? Just a wee little clue, to point me into the right direction. Oh!” A thought crossed Orla’s mind and her face lightened up a bit. “I could really use that electronic crystal ball now. Remember? The one Ma bought me when I was a kid!”

“Aw yeah, that one had all the answers.” Declan laughed at the memory of the toy and a few of the situations the two of them had with it.

“It knew everything! My entire life depended on it! I made much better life choices when I still had it, believe me. I need it, I’m entirely fuckin’ helpless on my own!”

Still chuckling, Declan’s voice was now a little softer than before. “Just try and relax. ‘kay? You’ll figure it out eventually. Please, promise me that you will at least try to have a good time.”

Orla gave her brother a little smile and nodded.

Declan smiled back at his sister. “If all else fails, we’ll try and find you a new chrystal ball in Dublin.”

______________

“Sorry you’re stuck with only me again.” James said as he and Charlie walked their way to the pub they were supposed to meet Kieran’s siblings at.

“Ah, it’s fine. Kieran already said a few days ago that he might not make it before ten and I’m glad he at least managed to pick us up from the airport! Besides,” Charlie smiled at her best friend, “I like you. I think we’ve never been on vacation together, it was about time!”

“Yeah, I just kind of hate that I have to share you.” James admitted and he  looked around a bit while he was walking, hands in his pockets. Ever since he got out of the plane, he felt a little uncomfortable. He was used to large cityscapes and the streets of Dublin appeared comparably small to him. “Holy shit, everything’s so crammed. No wonder the people here look pissed as hell.”

“No, they look pissed ‘cause you got your ‘I’m better than you!’  face on.” Charlie sighed.

“Nah, that’s my ‘What the fuck was I thinking to come here?’  face.” he corrected her. “Saving the other one for later.”

“Okay, right, that’s it. Go home, I just got sick of you.”

“You keep sayin’ that, Chuck, and it never turns out to be true.”

“Don’t push your luck, one day it might?” Charlie smiled at him.

“Yeah, sure.” James smiled back. “Alright, what’s that little shithole we’re heading at called anyway?”

“The Beehive.”

“What the fuck, man!” James cackled. “Who on earth calls their bar ‘The Beehive’? Come on. They’re asking to be made fun of!”

“Yeah, you can tell that to the owner in a second!” Charlie pointed to a little blue bar at the corner. “There it is.”

James looked into the direction his friend was pointing at. When his eyes found found the pub, he grimaced. “It’s not even black and yellow!” he called out in mock bewilderment, gesturing at the building.

“That’s probably because beehives aren’t black and yellow?”

“Really? As far as I know you don’t get hammered in beehives either and yet here we are, standing in front of a fuckin’ pub called “The Beehive”.”

Charlie looked up at James and blinked. “Why are you like this?”

“Sorry, it’s the walls. They’re closing in.”

“Oh my god. One more word and you wait outside!”

“Come on, I ain’t no fuckin’ dog?” Seeing his friend’s expression and remembering her words a little earlier, ‘Don’t push your luck!’, James decided to behave, though. “Okay, sorry. Let’s get inside. I’ll be nice, I promise.”

“As if. Just promise you’ll try and not piss the two off within the first five minutes, okay?”

“I promise.” James bit his lip. “Sorry for bein’ a cunt.” he added.

Charlie knew James was being genuine now so she decided to let it go. She wasn’t mad at him anyway, just a little irritated. Meeting family members of boyfriends always made her nervous, and this time was no exception. “It’s fine. Just go.”

The two went inside and made their way through the pub, which was much bigger than it looked from the outside. ‘This place is truly crammed’, Charlie thought to herself. People were chatting, glasses were clinking as they were passing table after table and at some point, Charlie could hear a woman’s hoarse cackling and something inside her told her they were heading into the right direction. She peeked around the next corner and spotted two people with very familiar looking raven hair sitting at one of the tables.

Charlie was still trying to think of what she would say when the young man at the table looked up from the little house of cards in front of him. Apparently he had just figured out who she was ‘cause he smiled widely now and Charlie felt her stomach flutter a bit. ‘So the killer smile runs in the family.’ she thought to herself.

“You made it!” Declan exclaimed cheerfully and now the young woman, Orla, turned around on her seat as well and looked just as happy as her brother and Charlie couldn’t help but grin back and then the two launched themselves at her, greeting her like they had known her for years already.

In a way, that was true after all.

“Of course we made it! Wouldn’t have missed this for the world!” Charlie laughed.

“We? Who’s ‘we’?” Orla asked, looking confused.

“Well-” Charlie frowned and looked behind her and when she saw the vacant space that she assumed James to be standing in, she let out an exasperated sigh and let her shoulders drop. “Gimme a second, you two, okay?”

It turned out that looking for James wasn’t necessary, though, Charlie could hear the familiar deep voice the moment she was about to head back to the front part of the pub.

“Why thanks, mate, I’ll sure think of it next time!” James called over his shoulder, and the people he was shouting at roared with laughter. “Yeeaaaah, fuck you, too.” he mumbled, never losing his grin, before he turned around and looked at his friend again. “Sorry Chuck, apparently I got ‘stranger’ plastered upon my forehead, these bozos held me-”

Startled at the sight of the two tall strangers next to Charlie, James needed a second to recollect himself.

“-held me back. For a second.” he finished, his eyes now entirely caught by the young woman with the long dark mane who was looking right back at him, her smiling blue eyes wide and curious, and her red-tinted lips slightly parted in what seemed to be pleasant surprise.

“They-”

It didn’t happen often but right at this moment, James was lost for words. She was, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

“-they, uhm. I don’t even know what- what they wanted.” He blinked and suddenly realised that he was apparently blatantly staring at the her. ‘Oh shit.’ “Sorry. Hi! I’m- I’m James.” he eventually introduced himself.  

“Hi!” the woman now let out a hearty laugh. “I’m Orla.”

______________

Life sure is funny at times, Orla thought to herself.

When she had asked for a wee little clue earlier, to point her into the right direction regarding her decision whether to keep up her relationship with Rick or not, she had thought of a catchy newspaper headline, “ECONOMIC RECOVERY!”, or maybe even a manic street preacher, shouting out some ominous prophecies such as “The end is near!” but what she certainly didn’t have in mind was a six-foot-five, bespectacled Australian who had the most adorable laugh and probably the bluest eyes she had ever seen on a guy.

Kieran had mentioned James a few times before, dubbing him ‘the insufferably arrogant fucker with the funny accent’, and he had also mentioned that he would come along with Charlie this time. Judging by her brother’s descriptions and comments alone, though, Orla had already mentally prepared for dealing with a somewhat geeky little know-it-all. She certainly did not expect the handsome guy who was now sitting across her, smiling at her every so often and holding her gaze for a little while each time their eyes met, before turning to Charlie and Declan again who seemed to get along just fine on their own so they probably didn’t notice what was going on in her mind right now.

It was not like Orla hadn’t found other guys attractive before, even when her relationship was still all new and exciting. Orla had always loved the sight of a good-looking fella but that was already it, any time it happened. She would move on once she and the other guy went past each other but this time was entirely different. The thought of her and James sneaking out through the back door was awfully tempting and she couldn’t help but think about how it would feel like if she just pinned him to the next wall and had her way with him. It made her stomach flutter like she hadn’t felt it in a few years. She couldn’t do it just like that but she desperately wanted to and everything kept falling into place this evening and she could see things so clear right now that it made her wonder how she hadn’t realised it any sooner than now.

The thought of ending something just because it was no longer “new” and “exciting” had always put her off so far and Orla could never understand people who were willing to give up something safe and sound, just like that, just to relive the kick of being freshly in love while being perfectly aware that this particular feeling would fade again sooner or later. She had once made the mistake of ending a still young relationship that could’ve had potential if they had just tried and talked things through every once in a while, and it shattered her heart into a million pieces and she had sworn to herself to never let someone she loves go that easily again.

Spending time with James, Charlie and her brother like that however made her realise that the relationship with Rick hasn’t only cooled off - it had been heading nowhere for a long while now. She realised that they wanted different things and that they were at different points in their lives. They had the age gap that was sexy and exciting when it started and Rick made her feel secure and she would never not be happy about the great times they had. She realised that she was no longer willing to give up being twenty-four, though, while Rick had long settled into his comfortable thirty-nine year old life and she couldn’t even argue. She couldn’t argue when he rather wanted to stay home after a long day of work and she often found herself staying home with him because if that was the way they could spend their limited time together, it would be the way.

Orla missed being young and silly though. She missed getting tipsy with her friends. She missed the nights in the club, she missed the dancefloors and she missed the guys looking at her like James looked at her now. And it might have been just that, sure, but there was something else about him that completely drew her in. He seemed fun and easy to be with (A/N: Lol.) and Orla realised that she was dying to go on another adventure, albeit with someone else. If James would be the one she didn’t know yet but she sure wouldn’t mind giving it a try.

She had made her decision. She would spend the time in Dublin trying her best to keep things friendly and platonic for now and she would go home after the next week and break things off because it was the only fair thing to do. And then she would see what comes next.

______________

When Declan and Orla had left to get back to their hostel, James and Charlie remained sitting at their table; they had about an hour before Kieran would come and pick Charlie up and James would head back to his hotel. The twins had insisted on taking James around the town over the next few days and he had agreed although he didn’t quite know what he was getting himself into at this point. He could barely take his eyes off Orla this evening and it didn’t feel anything like he usually felt around any lady he found attractive. She had made him nervous. She had made him think of what to say and he didn’t want to leave an all too bad impression and he wasn’t used to feeling that way about someone.

“I’ll have another apple juice, please!” Charlie told the waiter and then she turned back to her friend. “So.”

“So.”

“What the heck was that about?” Charlie asked, still astounded by what she had seen happening all evening long, right at this table.

“Was… what about?” James replied, trying to look as confused as possible but of course Charlie would pick up on the circumstance of him barely saying any of the things he usually said in these situations.

“James. Please.”

“What? I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” he tried again, feeling pretty ridicoulous for even making the attempt but he didn’t feel like having that kind of talk now.

“No? Not at all? Alright then, I’ll let go of it.”

“Thank you.”

“Man. I could’ve sworn…”

“Huh?”

“Nah, nevermind.”

James rolled his eyes. “You could’ve sworn what?”

“Oh nothing!” Charlie held up both her hands, as to play down the issue, but James knew it was a trick. She had never been good at this kind of stuff.

He smiled to himself. Just in a few moments from now, Charlie would make another incredibly subtle (read as: clumsy) attempt to bring the subject back up and he started counting backwards in his mind.

Ten, nine, eight…

“What a great evening, wow!”

Seven, six…

“These two are so funny, don’t you think?”

Five, four, three…

“I mean, I expected it somehow but it’s really cool now that it turned out to be true!”

Two, one…

“And, oh man, Orla’s gorgeous, right?!”

There we go.

“Oh, really now, Chuck? That’s all? Be a little creative at least.” James scoffed.

“Oh come on, just get it over with and say it. I know you better than anyone. You’ve been staring at her the whole evening and she was staring right back at you. And it wasn’t your usual hook-up-kinda-stare ‘cause I sure do know that one-”

“My what?!” James interrupted, raising an eyebrow, but Charlie ignored him.

“What was going on there?!” she now demanded to know.

“There was nothing going on!”

“James!”

“Oh well, what do you want me to say then?” James now called and people already turned around on their seats, looking at the two of them and James would’ve loved to just call out a heartfelt ‘What are you lookin’ at?!’ right back at them but he decided against it.

He took a deep breath instead. “Chuck? What am I supposed to say? Huh?”

“That you fell for her right on the spot! You know what? You don’t even have to say it. It was plain obvious.”

“So?”

“‘So?’ ?? Kieran said she has a boyfriend.”

“Then why the fuck are we even having this conversation?”

“Kieran also said that things aren’t looking that well and she came here to think everything through.” Charlie shrugged. “And from what I’ve seen this evening, that relationship might no longer be a problem.”

James just let out a dry laugh this time.

“I’m serious!” Charlie tried again. “Look, I get it, okay? Relationships are not your thing. I know. You told me a million times and I know you got so used to your Poor Troubled Boy persona at this point-”

“What was that?” It was almost a whisper; James stared at Charlie in disbelief, not quite knowing whether he should just get up and leave or brush that remark off with a laugh.

Charlie knew she had just gone too far. “Oh crap, I’m sorry, I-”

“No, it’s fine! Not like I don’t get you?”

“James, I’m sorry-”

“You’re happy, so everyone else has got to be happy as well? No matter what? Is that what you want? Maybe I should just, I dunno, how do you happy people call it, jump into it? Forget about everything that’s going on? About why I fuckin’ came here in first place, the thing I’m desperately trying to get my mind off? I got news for you, Chuck, I didn’t get my mind off it and I got an entirely new thing on my mind instead now which is just great because you and I both know how good I am at dealing with shit!”

“Please. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that comin’ out like it did.”

James let out a sigh. He knew Charlie didn’t mean any harm and he usually liked her occasional moments of sass but it was the wrong thing to say in the wrong moment. Still, he could tell she was feeling bad about it and he wasn’t mad at her. He was actually happy for her because she never had to look at these things from his perspective.

“I know you didn’t.”  

“You can’t blame me for wanting to see you happy, though?”

“I was!” James insisted. “I mean, I was on a good way, until that thing happened.”

Charlie now rolled her eyes. “Oh god, I know I’m not really in the position to be cranky with you right now but could you please stop calling it ‘the thing’? You’re going to be a father, just say it.”

“No?” James retorted, feeling a small wave of panic come up again.

“Calling it ‘the thing’ is not going to stop it from happening, James.”

“You don’t know that?”

Charlie couldn’t help but laugh at the tone James’ voice had taken now. She knew it wasn’t funny and seeing him struggle made her feel bad for him but sometimes he was nothing short of adorable. “I always loved how you can switch from ‘almost reasonable adult’ to ‘toddler’ within a second.”  

She now reached for his hand over the table.

“It’s a gift from the gods.”

For a few moments, the two merely looked at each other.

“Are we good?” Charlie now asked.

“We’re always good.” James said, squeezing Charlie’s hand a little before letting it go again. “And you’re right. She’s awesome, she’s fun, she’s fuckin’ gorgeous. And she’s everything I could ever dream of if I wasn’t, y’know, me.”

“You have such a noble mind, Hoffman.” Charlie mocked. “So it won’t trouble you at all, spending time with her the next week, just like that?”

“Not at all.”

“Good to know.”

______________

It was the best and the worst week that each James and Orla ever had to spend. There was hoping on both sides that it was just a little instant crush happening that last night, caused by the sheer surprise of the moment but it turned out that they still felt drawn to each other the next day and that the feeling grew stronger with every other day passing.

It was somehow a good thing that Declan happened to be around as well. James found the guy really entertaining and he was a fun distraction, for sure. He wondered whether he knew about his inofficial role as a chaperon and if he had maybe even willingly taken it or if he just somehow went along with the situation. He was sure good at keeping Orla and him from getting too close, though. He kept interrupting in the right moments and ruining the mood by saying these entirely weird things sometimes.

It was for the better and that way the week ended up being a very fun week at least. The three occasionally met up with Charlie and Kieran in the pub for an hour or two and James couldn’t help but feel entirely comfortable around the O’Connell siblings and it was something he felt about Orla from the first moment on. She was someone to come home to. She was like a fire and not the scorching and destructive kind of fire but the really warm and alluring kind. On top of that, she was outspoken, smart and fun, and he liked that she wasn’t afraid of making a fool out of herself which made her just as entertaining as her twin brother and so it happened that James fell in love just like that, like he had never expected he would and it felt amazing and terrible at the same time and on their last evening together, when Declan had just left, the two of them sat alone in the pub, only having eyes for each other but still somehow maintaining an appropriate distance.

“How come you don’t go by any nickname anyway?” Orla inquired, pulling another cigarette out of the package.

James watched her closely and while he didn’t care for smoking at all, Orla had some class, for sure. She probably wasn’t even aware of it herself but there was something so elegant about her that James couldn’t help but admire.

“’Cause all the nicknames for ‘James’ are bullshit.” he eventually said.

“Aw, don’t say that? I know a Jim and he ain’t too bad?” Orla took a drag, then grimaced. “Granted, I wouldn’t wanna sleep with him but I guess he’s nice enough?”

“My point exactly! The Jims in this world never get laid. Anyone think of a Jim and they automatically have that suburb dad type in mind. No one ever looks at a Jim, let alone a Jimbo, and be like ‘Sure, I’d blow him.’”

“You… put a lot of thought into that, didn’t you?” Orla raised an eyebrow.

‘Great. Keep talking like that. She’ll think of you as the worst creep ever.’ James thought to himself. ‘On the other hand -  that would kinda solve the problem here.’

“Nah, I’m just talkin’ shit to somebody I shouldn’t be talkin’ shit to.” James now smiled.

“I just based the likability of a person on whether I would sleep with them or not. Guess that’s just as shitty. I’m- I’m actually really not like that, believe me.” Orla laughed and she suddenly seemed a little nervous.

“We should probably drop the subject, anyway. Might give me ideas.”

Orla let out another nervous chuckle. “Oh. Really.”

‘Oh my god. I am officially the worst.’ “No! I mean. Yes? No, I mean. Fuck. It’s not just that. I’m sorry, I didn’t wanna come off creepy.”

“You didn’t!” Orla replied quickly. “I was… I dunno, I was already wondering whether I was just seeing things the entire last week or-”

“No. No, you weren’t.” James took a ragged breath now. He could feel his heart beating really fast. “Thing is, if it wasn’t for the entire situation, I’d ask you out in a heartbeat.”

“Really?” Orla now smiled. It was one of her warm smiles James liked so much. Almost a bit shy, which made it even more adorable.

“Of course. Seriously, what’s not to love?”

“Well, I think I do have to take care of something first, once I’m back home…?” Biting her lip, Orla looked down at her glass, then back up at James. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s not just that, actually. Honestly, I wouldn’t even think twice if it was just that.”

“Oh wow, you seemed like a decent fella until now? Orla now joked.

“Trust me. I’m not.” James smiled right back at her.

“Ah, cue the ‘I’m not good enough for you!’ speech. Bring it on, I’m dying to hear it. Don’t make it too sappy, though. Keep it authentic, then I’ll enjoy.”

She had just done it again - James couldn’t help but let out a hearty laugh. “I’m definitely not good enough but no. No speech. It’s just that I got shit on my mind as well. It’s some really weird shit and I just- I dunno, I just can’t. Not yet, not right now, maybe not ever.”

“Okay? But… if it wasn’t for that weird shit… you would…”

“I don’t know. Maybe. I’d definitely want to.”

“Well then. Maybe we should loosen you up a little the next time we meet.” Orla teased. “You might want to swap that Soda for a beer or two.”

“Ah. Guess not.”

“You don’t drink? Like, never?”

“Used to. Never liked the aftertaste.”

“Oh well, whatever strikes your fancy, eh?” Orla smiled and James was relieved that she apparently didn’t get the true meaning of the statement.

Orla now looked up to the clock over the bar. “Okay, so it’s almost eleven… I think they’re about to close and I should probably get some sleep anyway. I’ll be the one driving home, so…”

James merely nodded and called the waiter to their table. He paid the bill for the two of them and they got up and left the bar. It was pretty cold outside and Orla buttoned up her coat.

“So, this is a temporary goodbye then?” she smiled up at James.

“Come on. Like you’re gonna walk the way back to the hostel alone. I don’t think so?”

“Declan did?”

“Declan is tall and scary.”

“I’ll tell him you said that.” Orla sounded amused.

“Look, I’d really feel better if you didn’t walk that way back all by yourself.”

“Oh, no no no, don’t think I don’t dig your little moment of chivalry? Gives me some more time with you after all!”

“That’s the spirit.”

The two walked the way back together and it wasn’t a long way but, as Orla had said, it gave them a bit more time. Only a bit but it was better than nothing at all.

“Here we are.” Orla now shrugged. “I guess I could’ve walked this way all by myself. No scary guys in bushes, waiting to launch themselves at me.”

“The creeps are still there, they just got better at hiding.” James replied, taking his hands out of his pockets.

“You’re adorable. Thinking the world is out to get you and all.”

“I hate to burst your bubble but the world is out to get you. You wouldn’t believe some of the shit I’ve seen.”

“You wouldn’t believe some of the shit I have seen and heard either. It’s not like I don’t know what Kieran does for a living?” Orla replied. “I just don’t wanna live like that, y’know. Thinking about what could happen all the time. I could never leave my apartment again, let alone find some joy in life.”

“Alright, I know. I wasn’t tryin’ to be a smartass or somethin’.” James laughed. “I’m glad you left your apartment.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“My offer still holds, y’know. Come back soon, loosen up and give me a call.”

Half serious, half joking, Orla looked up at James and took a step forward. They were pretty close now, facing each other.

“Don’t tempt me.”

“So it’s really goodbye for now.” Orla bit her lip again.

“Guess it is. Just for the record and in case I haven’t told you yet… I had a great time.” James now smiled really sweetly at her and Orla’s heart skipped a beat.

“So did I.” she said softly.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

For being you. For letting me be me. “Just… thank you. Okay? We’re having a moment here, don’t ruin it.”

“You’re talkin’ about having a moment and I’m not even getting a hug now?”

“Yeah, well… I might not just.. hug you.”

“Oh, I see.” Pressing her lips into a thin line, Orla nodded, apparently understanding the issue but in the next moment, she was lightly tugging at the hem of his shirt. “You know what? I think I can take that risk.”

“Oh thank god.” James smiled again and now leaned in for that kiss he couldn’t have put off for very much longer at this point anyway and Orla returned it and for a minute or maybe five, there were no things on their minds but the thing that was just happening right here between them and when they eventually parted, Orla gave James another smile before she turned around and walked inside and he remained standing there, making sure she would get inside safely, looking up at the few windows that were still lit, secretly hoping she would give him a last look and feeling silly for the thought alone but he didn’t quite care.

He knew he would go back to being his good old self in a bit and pick up his somewhat messed-up-again life very soon but for a moment, for a really short little moment, his world had shined in the brightest colours and he would take the moment with him because man, did it feel great.

***

[dear--charlie]

Dear Charlie,

I don’t know what to do. I think I might be falling in love, if that’s even possible. I’d given up on love. I mean, does it truly exist? Forever? My life experience tells me it doesn’t and yet, here I am. I’m gonna call him J, but I promise he’s not the same J from my previous letter to you. So please don’t get them confused. And I’m sorry that I’m writing a novel, but there’s just so much to say. I hope you read this. I hope someone understands.

I met J at my birthday party back in February (it was a combined party with my best friend A). I didn’t have much interest in J at the time. Sure, he was nice enough and we chatted a little. He took some pictures for me with the photo booth props, too. So that was cool. But I was too obsessed with the fact that the previous J hadn’t shown up at the party to even truly notice him. (Pathetic, right?) Also, he ended up getting really sick and was throwing up in the only bathroom for HOURS. I really had to pee, so needless to say I wasn’t too happy with him at the time.

Anyway, we added each other on Facebook and I donated a little bit to his graduate research project (I felt obligated to after A directly asked me). I saw him again over 2 months letter at A and C’s wedding. (J is best friends with C and I’m best friends with A.) I was the maid of honor and he was the best man. That’s when everything really started.

A and C got married on a farm and it’d been raining for a few days prior to the wedding so the ground was still pretty muddy in some parts. J said he’d carry me if needed. I told him I’d be fine. Well, we were walking down there (along with R, the man of honor), when we came to a big mud puddle and some really wet grass just beyond it. So, like he said he would, J picked me up and carried me over it until we found dry grass again. At first, I felt a little awkward with him picking me up so I didn’t ask for him to carry me again when the grass was getting wet later.

After the ceremony, we stopped for pictures by the lake. J wanted pictures of me and him, so we did. To my surprise, he randomly picked me up! I was giggling the whole time, partly because I wasn’t expecting it. But, to be perfectly honest, those turned out to be two of my favorite pictures.

When we were done with pictures, J lingered behind with me. He waited for everyone to get in front of us and told me to get on his back so he could carry me back without me stepping in the mud or wet grass. He said he didn’t want anyone to see my undergarments if they were behind me.

Eventually, we left the farm to go to the bar for the reception. J happened to be parked right behind me and asked if he could follow me there. I said that was fine. He ended up turning off the highway with some other people from the wedding and got there before me. (I only knew the longer way because I’d never come from that direction before.)

At the bar is where we really started to hit it off. And how fitting is that? A and C met at that bar, which is why their reception was there. J bought me a drink instantly and we started talking. J seemed very interested in what I had to say and it was so easy to talk to him. It’s hard for me to find people I feel comfortable with like that. I’m very shy. I think it helped that no one else I knew had arrived yet. If they had, I don’t think I would have spent so much time with J. It especially helped that R took so long to show up. Because even though A and C were eventually there, I didn’t want to be a leech around the newly wed couple.

I don’t even remember everything J and I talked about. There were so many different topics. I recall some of them, but I don’t think it’s necessary for me to list them here. You get the idea. At one point, C’s sister yelled at J to stop flirting with me, which embarrassed me so I went over next to A for a bit. Eventually, J and I found each other again and resumed our conversation.

Later, J, R and I were playing pool. J kept coaching me to tell me what shots I should take. He said he wasn’t going to stop playing til me and him had a chance to play each other (we both kept losing against R). Finally, I beat R on a technicality and so J and I played against each other. Despite this, J was still coaching me on what shots to take. It was a close game, but I got the 8 ball in first so I won. Oh, and at one point while I was playing against R, my hair kept getting in my face. R suggested I braid it and offered to do it, but I said I could do it myself. I was standing next to J and trying to braid it and commented that I was harder to separate because of the curls. So, J offered to braid it for me. I hesitated because I’d just told R no, but I kinda wanted J to do it so I let him. He even got a hair tie from A to hold it together (since he couldn’t find one in his camera bag). Is it lame that I cherish that hair tie? I haven’t returned it to A and I use it almost daily because it reminds me of J.

J and I spent pretty much the entire reception together. At one point when J was outside smoking and I went inside, R commented that I like J and I tried to deny it, but I was blushing as he said it. I told R I just came in because my stomach was hurting and he teased me about butterflies.

Later on, R, J, and I were sitting together. I was next to J and R was across from us. Somehow, R got ahold of my phone and started sneaking pictures of me and J. Some turned out kinda good. R caught one of me glaring at J while we were looking at pictures on his phone because he’d taken a bad one of me and J was smiling his adorable crooked smile. R also caught one of me looking at J’s phone and smiling (J was showing a hint of a smile, too). Then, we noticed R taking pictures so we posed for some. I wonder if R knows how much those pictures mean to me… probably. He did guess pretty quickly how I feel about J…

Eventually, we left. I don’t know exactly how long later, but maybe about a week later, A asked me what I thought of J. I was embarrassed to say I liked him (he has a girlfriend). I didn’t want her to think I was trying to steal him from her (which I’m not. I want them to break up naturally and then get my chance after some time has passed). Well, A mentioned that J had been talking about me a lot, especially about how cute I am. She wanted to know if I thought J was hot. I wouldn’t answer at first, but finally admitted he’s attractive. I think she could tell I liked him, but she wasn’t going to say for sure. She said she was neutral in this, comparing herself to Switzerland.

More time passed. J came into my classroom to do science experiments with my students and answer some of their science questions (he offered to do this at the reception). He even suggested the kids write letters to him with their questions before he came in, so they did. The kids LOVED having J there. I loved having J there. It was so amazing watching him with my students. He was incredibly patient with him. He did an excellent job of breaking down things so they could understand and re-explaining it to them if needed. J said that he’d love to come into my classroom again and that next year we should make it a regular thing. (Off topic, but I also learned that J is color blind and that he likes the color yellow best because he can actually see it… how perfect is it that my hair is blonde? I’m also trying to buy yellow clothes now…even though I hate the way yellow looks on me because I know he loves it.)

J stayed til the kids went home at 12 (I only work part time). Then, we went out to lunch at Panera. I wanted to pay for J’s food as a thank you for coming to my classroom, but J refused. He insisted on paying for both of us, saying that he’s weird about letting girls pay. I thought about that little detail for DAYS afterward, wondering if it meant this was a date and wondering if it meant he liked me, too. But, A later insisted that J is just old-fashioned that way and that it probably didn’t mean anything.

While at Panera, J sat across from me. He looked deep into my eyes the entire time that we talked. I could tell he was incredibly interested in everything I had to say, which was refreshing. I’m not used to that sort of thing. I don’t think I’ve ever been with a guy that made as much eye contact with me as he does. It was like he couldn’t get enough of me. He even noticed when I was looking over his shoulder at the woman sitting at the table behind him. He turned around to see what I was looking at. I explained that I thought it was my old professor. He convinced me to say hi.

It was her and we chatted for a bit. How crazy is it that she was my teach science professor in college and J had just finished doing science experiments with my students? Anyway, I digress. She isn’t the main part of this tale.

Eventually, J had to leave so he could get to class. We walked outside together and I tried to convince him to come on a trip with me and A later that month to visit C in Virginia (he’s in the Navy). I pretty much begged J to come. J said he’d try his best. We hugged goodbye. It was a pretty long embrace and I didn’t want it to end. But I knew he had to get to class. He was probably already going to be late as it was. I obsessed for days (maybe longer) over if J liked me or not. The signs were there, but I thought maybe I was just seeing what I wanted to see, you know?

Anyway, J wasn’t able to come on the trip with us. He had summer classes he had to go to. But, while on the trip, I texted him some. There was one night in particular where I was worn out from a long day of interacting with people I don’t know (I’m such an introvert) and I was tired and hungry. I also had to drive the rental back to the hotel. The seat wasn’t powered so I couldn’t adjust it enough to see out of it very well (I’m incredibly short). Also, the roads were confusing as fuck. C tried to direct me, but would either give me the wrong directions or I’d miss a turn because of the confusing roads. I couldn’t see to check my blind spots so A and C had to tell me when it was safe to switch lanes/merge. I couldn’t even park when we got to the hotel because too much of the windshield was blocked where I needed to see. When I finally made it to my hotel room (alone), I instantly started crying. I texted J telling him what was going on and he said it sounded like I needed some sleep. I asked him what was wrong with me and he said nothing that he knew of, other than me needing sleep. I calmed down within a few minutes and made my way to A and C’s room so we could eat dinner.

Well, fast forward some. I kind of backed off of J a bit. He wasn’t replying much and I knew he was in a relationship so I figured he wasn’t interested and I didn’t want to push too hard. (Plus my friend D told me to play hard to get and let J chase me.) Anyway, earlier this week the previous J messaged me. We talked for a while and he admitted why he’d stopped talking to me. The details of this aren’t that important, but basically I was considering doing something stupid with him because he said he’d marry me if I was pregnant. And it’s not that I really like him anymore, I just don’t want to be alone and it’d make things easy. Plus, if love doesn’t really exist anyway, why does it matter? But I also knew it went against my morals and that I’d hate myself. I was really struggling with it and texted J saying that I needed to talk if he had some time. It was pretty late and he didn’t respond til the next day. He asked if I was okay and I told him no. So he asked what was wrong, but I said it was too much to explain over text. He said he’d call me later.

He eventually did and then I felt so silly as I was explaining everything. Because I know it’s stupid. I know I shouldn’t do it. But I told him because he is the only one that could talk me out of it. I needed to find out if there was any hope of me and him ever being together because if there was then I wouldn’t do it. But, if not, then I probably would even though it’s a horrible idea. I didn’t explain that reasoning to J at the time, though. I pretty much just told him that I was scared to be alone and that the previous J is the only guy I never dissociated with during sex and what if he’s always the only one?

Then, I mentioned how I only ever like jerks or guys I can’t have. J asked why I can’t have them. I said because they’re unavailable and he said no one is ever completely unavailable, even if they’re in a relationship and that I need to go after what I want. I need to sell myself, like a car. People shop for cars all the time, even when they already have a car. I said that I didn’t want to ruin a friendship by saying anything. J said that if admitting that ruined a friendship, then the person was never really my friend to begin with. He also said that he’s only with his girlfriend for financial security and that she knows that. He’s told her that it’ll end with them breaking up and hating each other.

He had to get back to class, but told me to follow my heart. He asked if I wanted him to call me later and I said I’d like that so he said he would. Then he said he had to go because his professor was yelling at him to get off the phone.

He didn’t call me back til after midnight. His class was a wine tasting class and he was out late with everyone tasting wine. We ended up talking on the phone for almost two and a half hours! I told myself that if he called me back, I’d tell him I like him. So, I did, but it was a lot harder than I thought. J told me he already knew I liked him. I asked him if he liked me. He asked what I think and I said I didn’t know. He said yes, and that it was obvious because he came into my classroom and lunch at Panera and all that. I said I didn’t know if I was just seeing what I wanted to see.

J admitted so much to me on the phone. He said he could tell from the night at the reception that I was looking at him and wondering if he could be the one. He says he knows he could be exactly what I need. And he perfectly explained everything I’m looking for, things I didn’t even know I still wanted because I’d convinced myself long ago that it didn’t exist. He said that if he didn’t need to be with his girlfriend for financial reasons right now, I’d already have a ring (and a rock) on my finger. That really caught me off guard, considering the wedding was less than 3 months ago. I asked if he really meant that and he asked if he would have said it if he didn’t. He’s incredibly blunt and I know that he wouldn’t ever say something he doesn’t mean, so I believe him.

But I’m also confused because he gave me mixed signals… He said later that he doesn’t think he will ever be happy. That he honestly hates himself (I’m the ONLY one he’s ever told that) and that if we kissed, he’d feel emptiness. I told him he can’t know that for sure because we’ve never kissed. He said to prove him wrong the next time I see him. I told him I won’t kiss him if I smell smoke on his breath (he knows I hate smoking). He said he knew and I asked if he’d quit smoking to kiss me and J said he’d do a lot of things if it meant he could kiss me. I tried to ask him what those things were, but he wouldn’t tell me.

The conversation ended with J explaining he had a paper to write and an exam to study for and that I wouldn’t hear from him for a little over a week. But, that Monday (June 25), he’d text me at 12:05, right after his exam and that he might even see me. I told him I’d be on vacation, but he said he’d still talk to me. He told me in the mean time to think about what I want in life and figure it all out.

Well, I already did. I wrote down everything. And ultimately, I want him. Even if it means money is tight for a while (he’ll be pursuing his PhD). Even if it means I have to stay living with my parents until we are married. I don’t care. Because money won’t be tight forever. Because he makes me happy. Because he’s giving me hope about love again. Because I truly believe he could be the one. Because I’ve never felt this way before about anyone. Because if things don’t work out with him, I’m never seeking “true love” again. I’ll either be alone forever (which scares me) or I’ll settle. But I have to pursue this. And he pretty much told me to. He told me to follow my heart. He told me to go after what I want. So that’s what I’m going to do. Am I bad person for doing that? He’s only with his girlfriend for money… Is it really so wrong for me to pursue him?

I’m falling for him. That much I know is certain. God, I hope this works out. I need him.

Thanks for listening to my novel.

Love Always,

A Friend

[platinumshawnn]

all i need is you | Tom Glynn-Carney

Request: Tom needs some love, I agree 100%! I feel like Tom is a big softie, so maybe you can do something about his girl trying to be the romantic one for once and organizing a picnic in the living room with candles, wine, soft music just to distract him from work and he is so impressed and happy! And then the night gets hot! ;) 

A/N: I know this asks for smut but I honestly just wasn’t really feeling it much for this one, so it’s more towards fluff than anything. Sorry. 

Word count: 1,697

 He was exhausted, she could see it. Even though he insisted everything was great, work was fine, easy and smashing it even, she could see how stressed he was lately; in the way his shoulders slouched, the deepened lines in his face, and in the bags underneath his eyes, sleeping on the couch, surrounded by scripts. Tom, after his spike of success with Dunkirk, had felt like he now had to keep taking it a step above, go over and beyond with every new project -- like he had to show himself up and do better every time and it was taking a toll on him. He seemed restless as he skimmed through script after script, even worrying his manager now, as he searched and dug for the ‘next big gig’, afraid of sizzling out as far as relevance went if he didn’t pick up the right role to come next. Tom had done a few auditions since but had yet to hear back, but it didn’t feel like just enough to him, he had tiredly admitted one night. He felt like he needed to get out there and work harder, open more doors to more opportunities that were promising instead of tiny little background roles that everybody would forget about by the time the credits rolled.

 Somehow though, even through his business and exhaustion, he never failed to upkeep the romantic persona; bringing home flowers he spotted on his way, surprising her with home cooked meals when she got home from a long day of work, hot baths with candles, never failing to remind her every day how much he loved her and how beautiful, wonderful, exquisite she was. He never forgot to remind her of her worth when she had poor days, always made time for her, even if it was only thirty minutes -- he always made the most of every minute he got from his hectic schedules to make her feel loved. And it warmed her heart. Reminded her exactly why she had fallen in love with him in the first place and it made her feel like a giddy seventeen year old again. She wouldn’t have changed anything about their story, their love, even if she could be stubborn and he too prideful, both as insistent on always being right and butting heads sometimes.

 She would change though, take away the pressure he felt, anxiety it gave him that he would be stuck only being known as the guy from Dunkirk and his career would never be able to move forward from that point on; like he would always be stuck, persistent towards trying to constantly prove to himself that he could do better, always go bigger, aim so much higher every time. She loved his ambitious personality and that he had goals, but sometimes he could become so worryingly hard on himself and it had actually made him sick a couple times before -- the poor blonde hunched over the toilet at four a.m., vomiting and red faced, letting out wails of complaint because he hated getting sick. It only usually lasted a few days before he realized he was being silly, did just as she knew he would -- pull himself together and prove his talent to the world and look damn good while doing so.

 Only this time, it stretched into weeks, he wasn’t sleeping well and he wasn’t eating too much; his face looked paler than usual and he seemed weakened by his exhaustion.

 Today had been a day full of meetings, interviews, he would film an audition tape for something new and she could only assume it would be one of those gruelingly long ones where he barely kept up, having to jot down almost everything said to him so he could run down the summary of what was said and done throughout the day so he could catch up and remember every important detail. She knew he would want to just order something in for dinner then fall right asleep by nine, dragging her into bed with him and lulling her to sleep with his body heat as his chest pressed to her back, arms around her waist -- though they would wake up on their own sides of the bed, him only tucked under just a sliver of the blanket because she hogged it in the night. The very thought of her poorly boyfriend made it hard to concentrate at work as she sat behind her desk, fidgeting with her pen and running around the office and away from her work every chance she could, her eyes glued to the clock. She wanted to go home and be there before him, she had decided when she could sense his lack of sleep catching up to him in the short, grumpy texts, complaining about little things around him that annoyed him. He was being hard on himself, over analyzing his every word and action.

 Though it took a few tries, and looking under the hood of her car to make sure everything was still in place, her old car had started up eventually; taking the back roads to get home in fear of taking the main street and his old Betsy deciding to shut off on her like it had done the past few months, just barely surviving but surely not the safest alternative. Sometimes Tom had complained and begged her to just take a taxi or the bus, even offered to get her something newer, safer, but she always refused because it had been the first thing she had herself bought all on her own when she first moved out; and in her mind, it got her home and around (most times), that’s all that mattered. She was home and it hadn’t caused her any issues, other than her lock acting up a bit as she tried to lock up before heading inside, huffing and blowing a piece of hair out of her eyes as she closed the front door behind her.

 “Tom?” She called out, no reply heard as she shrugged off her coat after setting her purse down beside the door. She kicked off her heels and sighed in relief to be out of them before padding down the hallway, already untucking her blouse from her skirt as she stopped in the doorway. Sure enough, the blonde male was knocked out in bed, hidden under the covers, pretty close to face down as he softly breathed. He had to have been really warm because his cheeks were flushed pink, still dressed as socked feet peeked out from under the blanket. She didn’t want to disturb him but she couldn’t deny herself a minute of just admiring the sight of him, relaxed and stress free, a small smile being brought to her face.

 She changed into something a little more comfortable before quietly leaving the room and turning the light off in her path, closing the door as she disappeared down the hall. Her eyes had caught the time on the stove, hands smoothing out her shirt while she entered the kitchen, gaze flickering back towards the hallway where she knew just at the other end, Tom was asleep. She opened the freezer and dragged out the package of frozen chicken breast, placing it down on the counter.

 Tired, confused eyes still dazed as he stumbled down the hall were the first thing she saw; aside from the serious case of bed hair when he stopped in the doorway of the living room, rubbing the inner corner of his eye. (Y/N) had just finished lighting one of the many candles around the room when she snapped up at the sound of his approach, frozen like a deer caught in headlights as she waited for him to say something. He yawned and looked around at her little setup, a thin blanket laid out in the middle of the living room, two plates with chicken, vegetables, and potatoes with each a glass of wine placed across from one another and surrounded by candles as she placed her lighter down.

 Her eyes flickered towards the little purple flowers awkwardly sitting in the middle of the blanket, hands nervously shoving into her back pockets. “I...I stole the flowers from the neighbor on our right.” She admitted, Tom’s eyes flickering between them and her face, still not entirely awake.

 He sleepily smiled, “So what is this? I’m dating a criminal now?” He groggily asked, starting to walk towards the blanket. “What is all this?” He asked, looking around.

 “I just figured,” She drifted, circling a bit and standing on his left as she turned and looked around too, “since you’ve been so busy lately, I know you’ve been really stressed and yet you still go out of your way to be all romantic and brighten my day with the littlest gestures and reminders, I’d try and give that back. I’m obviously not as practiced at cooking but I...yeah. I know it’s no fancy, five star place” She explained, his head turning to look over at her. He suddenly reached out and grabbed her left hand, lifting it and pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

 “Hey, no. It looks and smells really good. I don’t care. This is perfect.” He said, his voice softening. “Thank you.”

 She leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek, grinning. “Of course.” She replied, pulling gently to signal to sit. “Here, sit, let’s eat. I’m hungry.”

 With a laugh, he complied, the two each taking their own spot, sat across from one another and picking up the cutlery. He carefully eyed the food as he did, her actions paused to watch his reaction as he cut into the chicken and took his first bite, chewing a few moments before he coughed slightly and grabbed his glass of wine.

 “What is it?” His girlfriend asked, wide eyed.

 He shook his head, “Nothing. Nothing. It’s-” He coughed again, setting his glass down. “It’s great. It’s just…”

 “What?”

 “It’s super fucking dry, oh my god.” He coughed, laughing as she then laughed, reaching for his plate, embarrassed. “No, I’m still eating it! Get out of here!”

[queennix88]

Let me tell you a story, if I might, about a precocious young girl, we'll call her Jenny. Jenny loved her daddy more than anything. She'd happily sit next to him while he played Nintendo, or dance around the living room while he played his guitar (Tiptoe Through the Tulips was her favorite.) Until one day when she was about ten, maybe eleven, she came home from school to find her Mommy crying on the couch, clutching a letter. The letter said that her daddy left their family because he wasn't happy anymore. The girl was devastated, but still she loved her daddy. Once he had a place to live he started taking his daughters on the weekends, and Jenny was always excited to go spend time with him. Even though when he got a dog he would let it poop in their bedroom all the time and never cleaned it up,or that when he had a show to play with his band or something else he'd rather do, they didn't get to see him. Eventually her daddy got a girlfriend, and turned over a new leaf. He quit smoking and started going to church, forcing his children to go along with him whether they wanted to or not. Then there were times like when they went to the state fair together, and his girlfriend made her cry all night because she screamed in her face over candy wrappers under her pillow. Or that Christmas when his girlfriend's children talked her into opening stockings without permission and blamed it on her, just for her daddy to take her side and yell at her too. Still it wasn't quite getting through her thick head that maybe her daddy was really just a self serving asshole that only cared about what he wanted and what made him happy. Eventually her daddy got a new girlfriend, this one was nice, and treated his daughters as if they were her own, of course eventually she broke up with him, and he continued on his journey until he met her stepmother. Even though this woman didn't seem to care for his children much at all, he continued to spend more and more time with her. Even when she made Jenny cry because she ate some ice cream her daddy bought for her without asking, or bought her clothes three sizes too big and yelled at her for being ungrateful when she didn't want to wear them. They got married, and Jenny still missed her daddy, so she moved in with the happy new couple. Her stepmother continued to act cruelly toward her, and her daddy even joined in on the fun. Yelling at her every day until she was crying so hard she couldn't breath, for things like reading the girl's diary and being angry about her feelings, or for being ungrateful for what she had whenever she mentioned wanting to live with her Mommy again. When she became a teenager she learned about cutting, and because she had become so sad all the time she figured she'd try it out for herself. It helped a little, but still the girl became more sad and frustrated and angry at what her life was becoming. Her daddy started calling her things like an ungrateful cunt or a selfish little bitch, he'd yell, and his wife would yell, and the girl's life spiraled more and more out of control. She tried to call her Mommy to rescue her once, but her daddy told her Mommy that he'd call the cops for kidnapping if she did. She tried to run away that night, and he chased her down the road snarling and hissing his insults at her. Until he eventually twisted his knee and had to stop. She cowered behind a pine tree out of his line of sight as he cursed her, and told her she was a fucking pitiful excuse for a child. She eventually came crawling back to the house, because it was cold and wet outside, and snuck up to her room to silently cry herself to sleep. Then came more yelling, more screaming, more crying and wishing for death every day. She tried to take interest in things that he enjoyed, tried to bond with a person that seemed to have no concern for anything she wanted to try. She joined the stage crew for a play he was in, and found she actually loved the theater. Even befriended some of his cast mates, so when one invited the duo to dinner at her favorite Chinese buffet she was thrilled to go. She was finishing her last plate as their friend left for rehearsal, and after she took off he started to berate her for taking too long to eat, insisting that she was stalling on purpose to make him look bad, and telling her that she was done eating when he said she was done. He yelled at her the whole ride to the rehearsal, until the tears were streaming down her face yet again. She got out of the truck and headed for a different set of stairs than the one he started to head toward, and he followed her, grabbed her by the back of the neck, and dragged her back down. Telling her that she would walk with him whether she wanted to or not. Then he demanded she stop crying because no one in that room would feel sorry for her. Eventually she turned sixteen, and another friend from the theater offered to let her use her basement for her birthday party. She was excited, this woman's home had a pool table, a big sound system, a HUGE television, and plush comfortable chairs to hang out in. Her daddy agreed to let her have her party there, only asking that she complete her chores before it was to begin. She excitedly danced around the house cleaning everything she was expected to and more, she couldn't wait for her friends to arrive so they could all go to her party together! But then her friends Ray and Zack showed up, and her daddy was very upset, he must've missed the part where she told him all the names of the friends she invited. He didn't like that she invited boys to her party, friends or not, and so he yelled louder than she thought she'd ever heard him yell. He made her cry in front of everyone that came over for her party, until the boys left, and the girls crowded uncomfortably in the living room waiting for it to end. She kept right on cleaning though, trying to push through the sadness and shame that was ripping through her. She went to set something down on the table, but flinched as she did because he was yelling right at her face, and dropped it. He roared at her not to throw things when he was talking to her, and pushed her into the stove so hard she had a bruise across her back in the shape of the oven handle for well over a week. Eventually he left her to be, her friends trying to console her with movies and laughter. She laughed with them, and tried to shake it off, but she was devastated. When they moved shortly after, she still tried to go along with business as usual. Being the new kid in school yet again. Trying to fight off the weight of the sadness she felt, yet again. But nothing changed. She tried to sign up for a work training program while she was in school, but her stepmother insisted taking culinary classes would only teach her how to fold napkins, so he told her no. He felt that girls shouldn't take classes for auto mechanics, so he told her no for that too. And cosmetology!? Well that was just for lazy people! So again, no. No control over her own destiny, no control over what to do and where to go in her own life. The sadness mutated into a combination of depression and PTSD. She started to flinch whenever he made sudden movements, or raised his voice. The cutting got worse. Life had become more of a hell than she ever imagined it could be. And still she soldiered on. Eventually she finally got to move back in with her mother, a mangled effigy of the smiling, dancing, happy child she had once been. But not before getting very ill. She somehow contracted mononucleosis, and even though she hadn't even kissed a boy, he insisted she got it because she was a whore. But before knowing what it was, he allowed her stepmother to give her dayquil for a week, while she was getting progressively worse, until her throat was so swollen she could barely swallow liquid. It was her Mommy that came to the rescue, she came and got Jenny from the madhouse of torment and took her to the hospital. She had to be on an IV for hours before they finally released her, and even still it was days before she felt even slightly better. Amongst all this, and plenty more instances she couldn't bring herself to remember, she still found a place in this world. She fought for it, fought through the depression and anxiety these events had caused her, fought past three suicide attempts, and through the abusive relationship she ended up in, no doubt because her self esteem was so low from what her daddy had forced her to suffer through in her formative years. The one that almost took her life before she was finally able to break free. She grew up to be strong, yet kind, caring, yet unyielding in the face of adversity. She grew up to be all the things that her Mommy showed her she could be. She grew up and moved on in life despite all that he had taken from her. And through all this, she still tried to have a relationship with him. Tried to forgive and move on, tried to give him a chance to make it up to her, even though he gave her such a low starting place in life. But you know what? He still couldn't admit the wrong he had done. The pain that he caused. He refused to apologize, or acknowledge that what happened was real. And for that, she finally decided to let go. Let go of your pain and the people that cause it my friends, because if they show you no effort to earn your forgiveness, then they don't deserve to enjoy having you in their life once you've healed from the pain they caused you.

[squirrelly831]

Good Cook [Sanghyuk, Zuho, and Seokwoo]

Enjoy~

Sanghyuk/Dawon

Daeseong was a close friend and crush of Sanghyuk’s. Due to their friendship, she grew close with the other members and was given permission to enter their dorm without constantly asking as they had the same access with her own apartment.

The members were out finishing their last concert for their promotion for Narcissus. Daeseong decided to make the members and manager a feast to celebrate.

She sent Sanghyuk a text telling him to tell the members not to go out tonight since she wanted to celebrate with him and the others. Daeseong checked the kitchen before she decided to go out and get the necessary groceries as well as bought three cakes from the nearby bakery. Once she got back to their apartment she set to making dinner.

The food was minutes from being finished when Daeseong began to place the side dishes on the tables. The sound of the door unlocking caught her attention. She looked up and saw Sanghyuk drag himself in.

He saw her and immediately rushed her. “You’re here!” He threw his arms around her. Daeseong hugged him back as he held her tighter. He took a deep breath as he felt re-energized holding her close.

“Welcome home, Dawon. You tired.”

“And hungry.” He pulled away as he looked at the tables, “What is that amazing smell?”

She snapped her fingers as she moved out of his arms just as the other members entered. “I need to get the rest of the food.” She waved at the members, “You boys wash up, dinners just about done.”

After Sanghyuk washed his hand and rushed to the table first. “This looks so good. Where’d you buy the food?”

Daeseong brought in the last of the food and fried chicken she made as she shot him a look, “I bought it from the store and cooked it.”

“Did you poison in?”

Daeseong held up a fist in a silent threat. As the others walked in Inseong rolled his eyes, “Enough love birds. Stop flirting at the table.”

“WE’RE NOT FLIRTING!” They shouted.

“Enough. Inseong stop picking on them” Youngbin interrupted. Everyone sat down and said a quick thanks before they began to eat.

While they ate, Daeseong took a spoonful of the mac and cheese on Sanghyuk’s plate and his jaw dropped. He held up a finger and pointed at her, “She stole my food! She’s a snake!”

“Hiss hiss” she smirked as Sanghyuk tried to get her back only to get lectured by Youngbin.

Juho/Zuho

Juho was Mariah’s best friend before he became her boyfriend. When they began to date, Juho changed. He was much needier for her attention and also always wanted to eat food she cooks. Love was an understatement to how much he enjoyed her food. He would eat her food everyday if he could.

However, after opening her own café with her friend from university, Mariah’s time was cut. She couldn’t hang out with him a lot due to their conflicting schedules, but they kept in constant communication throughout the weeks.

“Are you sure you can handle being here alone?” Mariah asked as her friend, Soyeon, pushed her towards the exit of the café.

“I can handle it. It’s a slow day and we have Changmi in the front who can dazzle any customer if they get anxious or pissed.” She insisted, “You haven’t seen your boyfriend in weeks and he’s about to go on tour. So, go see him.”

Mariah tightened her grip on the two pastry baskets of all the snacks and sandwiches she made for him and the others in case she had the time to go to their concert and give them the treats. “Okay, I’m going, but I’ll have my phone on me if anything happens and you need me–”

“Won’t be needing you. Kay BYE!” Soyeon shoved her out the door and waved her off.

After contacting Youngbin, Mariah made her way to the concert venue as Juho and the others were preparing for their last Seoul concert before they started their world tour a few days later. As she arrived, she noticed their manager at the back exit and he quickly ushered her in. She was lead to the empty dressing room and she placed down the box, “I’ll just leave these here for them.” She held out the second box to the manager, “These are for you and the staff.” The manager grinned as he thanked Mariah. She could hear the music out at the stage, “Oh, they’re rehearsing?”

“Yes, would you like to go see?”

She shook her head, “I don’t want to be in the way. I just wanted to do something for the boys before you all headed out.”

As the music came to an end, Juho ran off stage knowing that Mariah should be at the venue at any moment. When he saw her, he ran to her and threw his arms around her. “You came!” He kissed her head as he held her to his sweaty self. “You’re staying right? Soyeon noona said you were.”

“Ew, you’re sweaty” she hugged him quickly before dislodging herself from him. “I was going to go back to work.”

Inseong laughed as he approached the couple, “Soyeon said that if you tried to come back, she’d set the café on fire. You’re stuck with us here.”

Taeyang ran out of the dressing room with a pastry in hand with a bite in it, “GUYS!” He took another large bite, “Thess arf incridil!”

Juho followed after the others to the dressing room as they were are excited to try the pastry. He took Mariah’s hand and refused to let her go. She let out a low sigh as she intertwined their fingers. I guess I’ll be here all day. She shook her head.

During the down time before the concert, Juho spent all that time with Mariah not once letting her leave his sight as he graciously munched on the sandwiches and pastries she made for them.

Seokwoo/Rowoon

Byunghee was one of Chani’s best friends and at first, she only really heard of the SF9 members through Chani. That was until he set her up on a blind date with his member, Seokwoo. Their first date was awkward as is most dates.

Before either of them knew it, it was their sixth date and Byunghee decided to make it special by making dinner for the two of them. It would be a nice change of pace instead of going out to eat or ordering in. So, after buying the necessary ingredients, she went home and made dinner.

When Seokwoo entered her apartment, he was greeted to the aroma of her cooking, “Byunghee?”

Byunghee appeared in the hallway with her apron on, “Hey, I’ll be done with dinner in a second. If you want, you can set the table for us.” Seokwoo nodded as he set off to help put out the plates of food as they were finished and dishes.

They sat at the table and said quick thanks before Seokwoo plunged his chopsticks in the food and ate a piece. As he chewed, his eyes glazed over and he let out a shocked but pleasurable groan. He had to add cooking to the list of pros of dating Byunghee. He couldn’t get enough of it. No wonder Chani said she had major wife qualities.

Byunghee noticed his dazed expression as she put the end of her chopsticks in her mouth, “Hey… hey!” She pulled her chopsticks from her mouth and waved them in front of Seokwoo , “You feeling okay?” He blinked as he looked back at his concerned girlfriend, “Are you okay?” She repeated.

“Wonderful” he smiled brightly before scooping up more food. “Dis is gut!”

She let out a laugh as she picked up a spoonful of rice, “Don’t talk with your mouth full! No one can understand it.”

He swallowed his food, “I said this is good.”

“Glad you like it. Chani told me you’re a good cook, so our next date, you’re cooking.”

Seokwoo nodded, “I don’t mind. Only if on the next date, I can call you my girlfriend?”

Her mouth fell ajar as she shook her head with a smile, “Oh, that was smooth… only if I can call you my boyfriend.”

“I’d love that.”

Part I || Part III

Credit to gif owners

Written & revamped by Squirrelly831

♕ REQUEST

∞ ULTIMATE MASTERLIST

[streetlites]

The sun had already set by the time my car pulled into my family’s estate. The flight had been uneventful since I spent most of my time sleeping in a cabin but at least I arrived well-rested.

After being shooed away from taking my baggage into the house by the driver, I was greeted at the door by my half-brother, Stefan.

“Holy shit, what has mama been feeding you?!” I exclaimed. When I saw him around this time last year, he had been like a beanpole – what seemed as a sudden change to me was staggering.

Stefan smiled proudly, “I had a growth-spurt.”

“You had more than that. Your balls finally dropped, well good for you,” I teased light-heartedly and received a mock-pout in response. “Where’s everyone at?”

“The twins and Genevieve are running around somewhere, Mama is micromanaging the kitchen staff, and Dedushka is trying to send everyone home to enjoy their holiday.”

“And Philippe?”

“Dad went to Mamie’s for the night, I think he’s going to take her to Mass. He and Ded aren’t getting along right now, so he would have left anyway.”

“Is this still over the security contract?”

“Yeah, I don’t know why dad didn’t just agree to it.”

I sigh, “Because he was trying to raise capital for the acquisition and if investors caught wind of the sort of company he was using for security, they would have backed out.”

“Then why is ded so insistent that he use his people?”

“Dedushka ‘influenced’ a city councilmember for zoning one of his banks plus he’s been leaning on a representative to push a bill that would help your dad’s business out. He keeps sticking his neck out; he wants to see Philippe put some of his own skin on the line, too. You really need to keep up with this sort of thing, Stef. One of these days all of that headache will be yours.”

“But it’s so boring,” he whines. “I’ll just hire you on as a consultant and you can explain these things to me.”

“If you don’t know your own business and rely on others to explain it to you, you’ll deserve it when they cheat you,” I say, pushing on his shoulder.

“You’re sounding more like Ded every time I see you,” Stefan laments as I follow him through the halls into the dining room. I don’t know what to say to that, but it’s not surprising – we are in the same line of work, after all.

My youngest half-sibling screeches, “Bubba! Bubba!” when we enter. “Up,” she demands, her arms outstretched. I oblige and scoop her into my arms and plant a quick kiss on her temple before sticking her into her highchair, which she doesn’t seem to care for. My mother waves a sippy cup in front of her and it, mercifully, distracts my sister’s wrath.

“Yulian,” my grandfather booms and gestures to the seat facing him, “come! Sit down!”

“Papa, please speak Simlish, you know not all of my children can speak Russian.”

“And who’s fault is that? I will speak my own language with my family, maybe they’ll pick it up this way. Yulian, sit.”

I do as he says. My mother, despite being called out for not teaching my brothers and sisters Russian, looks absolutely pleased with herself. I uneasily wonder what sort of Machiavellian scheme she’s planned out that’s come to fruition; I hope it doesn’t involve me.

She turns to me and smiles, “You received an invitation to the Van der Veen’s boy’s wedding. You will be attending, with a guest if you so choose. It is black-tie and I expect you to behave yourself, as you are known in society circles now. So no fucking around in the coat closet this time.”

“Will you and Philippe not be attending?” I ask and I get a nod of approval from my grandfather, who is happy that I’m not answering in Simlish. We have been family friends with the Van der Veens on both sides of the family for two generations now – my grandfather swore that Emmett’s grandfather was absolutely magical in the courtroom and would not hire anyone other than him, and now, his father. What I recall of Emmett in particular, was that he largely kept to himself and played music. I’m sure this was probably going to be a snooze-fest.

“Unfortunately, Philippe has that meeting to go over terms of the buyout with the other bank that weekend and I have a charity event that I’ve been heading and cannot get out of. You must go and wish them well for us. I’ve already made a donation to the charity of their choice, so at least that’s been settled.”

“You should take your girlfriend,”my grandfather interjects. Both Stefan’s and my mother’s heads swivel to stare at me.

“My girlfriend?”

“Yes, very pretty. She even has a Ukrainian last name - good, good!”

It clicks. Alenko. He’s talking about Emilia. When has he seen her? “Oh, you mean Emilia, she’s just my partner.”

“Partner? Puh! Does she speak any Russian?” He seems to deflate when I tell him, ‘no’. “Ukrainian?” he tries and I shake my head, ‘no’ again. He grumbles but shakes it off, “Well, no matter. You’ll just have to teach her some phrases when you introduce her to me.”

“I mean it, Grandpa, we’re partners.”

“This is a strange word you keep using, ‘partners’. I’ve had partners, but I never spent the night at their houses on a regular basis. They certainly didn’t visit me in the middle of the night either. And,” he grins roguishly, “I can’t ever recall orally pleasuring any of them on my kitchen counters.”

“Papa!” my mother gasps. My brother chokes on his wine and hacks out a laugh.

“Do you have cameras in my apartment?!”

“No, Ms. Fine happened to walk in on that last one. She said your ‘partner’ was preoccupied and neither of you noticed she had come in.”

“Ms. Fine is spying on me for you?” I ask incredulously.

“Of course she is, that’s what I’m paying her to do. After your uncle’s stupidity, I’m keeping a closer eye on my heir.”

My mind slows down to a crawl, heir. “Me?”

“Yes, you. Don’t think that I’ve forgotten that you volunteered to go to that shithole when everyone else refused. It showed guts. Plus, you’ve even proven yourself out there – you have the intelligence and ability to enforce your will. That’s important; I can’t give the business to a pushover. Now, tomorrow we’re going to go and deliver presents to people you need to know. On the 28th, there’s going to be a convention and you’ll be beside me, weighing in on decisions. It’s critical that you are seen with me at these functions.”

“What about the LA-13?”

My grandfather scratches his chin, “You’ll still be doing that until the end of the contract. We can’t have anyone saying we don’t honor our agreements. But you’ll have to spend more time bouncing around from here to there. It’ll be tiring, I’m sure, but you only have a couple more years of it.”

“That’s wonderful, Yulian!” My mother claps her hands excitedly. The noise rings in my ears.

“I’ve been meaning to ask, is she any relation to the Kaidan Alenko?”

“That’s who you’re trying to set him up with?!” she hisses. “Yulian is still young, he doesn’t nee-“

“That’s enough,” the older man commands and my mom’s mouth slams shut with an audible click. “I’m told she’s quite capable. Graves and Fermin say she’s at an oracle’s level. That’s particularly useful, keep her around.”

“She probably won’t come back here with me,” I say, thinking of how her entire family lives in Oasis Springs.

“I know she will; I bought her services. Do you honestly think that Fermin would let someone like that run around in the street with you to play gangster?” He laughed, “I bet you he even turned you down the first time you asked to be her partner. An oracle is hard enough to find, but one friendly to you? That’s priceless.”

I crossed my arms defensively, he certainly did. “I need a smoke.”

“I can imagine. Don’t take too long, you’re cutting the turkey because I’ve sent everyone home,” my grandfather replied.

“YOU DID WHAT?!”