#and the instinct is really strong
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I have not eaten anything today and I frankly don't have the motivation to make anything, or even care that I haven't had anything
#things are not good for me right now#like I'm crying again and the only reason I haven't texted my boss to say I'm not going to work tomorrow#is cause my anxiety is through the roof at the thought of having to communicate#and I'm kinda in a spiral about being a failure at work and do think its a matter of time until I'm fired#so i should probably get as many hours as I can#not that any of this even matters like I'm well aware all of my problems are trivial and yet here i am once again having a break down#and my therapist said it's not productive to tell myself to suck it up and stop being a baby but here we are#and the instinct is really strong
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wolfwood redraws (ID in alt text)
#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#tw blood#going to be talking vol 9 spoilers in here pls do not read if u have not read it!!#wolfwood my beloved. he's such a battle genius with such strong survival instincts and incentive to fight. it makes me so sad but also#it's just the way he's been able to live for as long as he has [explodes]#midvalley calling him a demon/devil (iforget which word) and livio being like āvictory seems impossibleā when faced against him aughhh AUGH#he's clearly not invincible - vol 8 proved that when he almost did get beat if not for vash swooping back in... but the way he carries#the battles really makes it feel like it. especially whenever he ārevivesā for the sake of protecting another person. i.e. him getting#back up to defeat livio - him battered and worn from the fight but then pushing his body to get up when chapel aimed at the orphanage#and then despite the blood gushing out of him he still regained cautiousness to defend razlo at the end.... ugh.... ugh.....#anyway... i love how nightow draws ww - these were fun to do. ive been meaning to do these redraws esp from vol 9/10#and maybe ill go back to do redraws from his previous fights. all and all i just need to get down how he uses the punisher properly#ruporas art
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throwing him at the wall
#boy why u so sad face emoticon#<:(#this is the kid the entirety of bullworth wanted dead#free my boy he did all of it but i don't care#maternal instinct is strong with this paticular low graphic ps2 character#the amount of screencaps i have of him just making this face#ridiculous really#bully canis canem edit#bully cce#bully scholarship edition#bully se#jimmy hopkins
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'hm? oh yeah ofc my internal compass led us to u'
#VJFESKDMCDJISOLXKMCDJSLX#MCDEKS#SO BADLY I WANTED FOR THEM TO HAVE ENDED UP AT THE SAME PLACE BUT THIS IS SO MUCH BETTERRRR#THE IN SYNC HEAD TURN GODDAMMIT#I HATE THEM I HATE THEM I FUCKING HATE THEM#zosan#one piece#strong world#usopp is like. sanji. babe.#like be for real right now you really just fucking. came to someplace zoro was with 0 effort just instinct???????#like???????? cmon man#that is your RIVAL with HOMOEROTIC GAY TENSION#CMON#one piece strong world
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I started reading beastars so now HE's reading beastars .wait
THEY'RE reading beastars
#nobody gets a prize for correctly guessing which character yakumo relates to most#when the anime first came out and everybody hopped on the hype train#i scratched my chin thoughtfully and wondered.... would i like this? it seems like i would like this. should i watch it?#and all my friends around me said 'nah you'll probably hate it. it's really sad'#so i trusted them and ignored beastars the whole time. until now. when i saw the entire series at my LOCAL LIBRARY!!!!#so of course the curiosity wins out and i start reading it and i REALLY LIKE IT?? WTF WERE MY FRIENDS ON ABOUT?#this is sad yes but most of the time it's FUNNY? and also ANIMALS R COOL? bruh. i can't trust my friends' opinions of me anymore#anyway. due to the nature of my current nuca fixation timing. i kept thinking of it while reading#drawing parallels that may only exist in my mind LOL#i can imagine yaku being a freak over legoshi and his quest to become strong but not falling to his instincts and etc.etc.#yakugaru having a manga reading session in either o their bedrooms... lying on the floor engrossed in beastly tales...#these two would absolutely have a debate about which chara is most similar to eiden#to yaku it is obvs haru but i feel like garu would see eiden in a less.... prey sort of way#or maybe they'd agree on the haru comparison!! but yaku might hesitate to voice the 'mr eiden... has to be protected...' thoughts#and garu would proudly proclaim how eiden and haru share traits like bravery/outgoingness/super cool and go-getter/wise and worldly???#i kept staring down louis like.... you're some mix of dante and edmond... and something else....#UGH i like all the characters... they all have their charms.... they are all such creatures#honestly yahya the entire time was just relatable content and after seeing the way he lived out the rest of his life *chef's kiss* GOALS#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival garu
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I love all of these little dioramas a lot but when looking at this one I was really struck by one detail in particular
Look at the target in front of Cardigan, you can clearly tell whoās hitting it based on the type of damage done. Two round holes, one in the shoulder and one in the head, likely from Adnachiel practicing both a debilitating and lethal shot respectively. A big jagged blast in the side from Steward probably a little off from aiming center mass.
But then thereās one more hole, a triangular one.
Right over the heart.
Who there would make that kind of puncture? And in such a vicious locati-

Oh.
Cardigan the fucking heart taker apparently! Look at how her arm is cocked back for a punch, this little puppy will end you
#arknights#they made her a defender because her killing instinct was too strong#I really love these little scenes so much though
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i think we as a society don't acknowledge boxer!aki from ch. 46 enough
when he gets animated..... huuu...... uuuuu... godddddd I can't muster a single coherent thought like JUST LOOK AT HIM......


and the way aki fought this guy who looks way more buff than him but aki didn't even break a sweat!!! aki doesn't even look tired!!!!!! he's so lean and tall and pretty in that one panel like what if I just died fyfucikkkk
#I really need to reread the chainsaw man manga#manga aki is just... so close to my heart... like you wouldn't believe#like it's all aki and he's so precious to me#but compared to the anime... manga aki is like........ my baby#I just look at him and I feel this very strong uncontrollable instinct#to hug him tightly and rock him back and forth and cry#cry into his chest maybe#he's so lovely and now it's been a few years so he reminds me of such happy times#he's so beautiful so beautiful so beautiful#guys I forgot to take. my pills and it made my hormones go crazy and now I'm filled with emotion#anon I'm sorry for hijacking your super old ask to rant about my affections for aki but I love you and I see you#boxer aki is everything#ask mags
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brighter than the sun, swifter than the wind
#dimension 20#burrow's end#thorn vale#burrow's end thorn#stoats in the brain. woaaugh#burrow's end was really really goddamn good#still fighting my 12 year old self whenever i draw any animal. the instinct to give them Dog Proportions is so strong
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Good evening to you, Solanace. I hate to say this, but Phillip has been giving me... troubles. To put it simply, what in God's green Earth do kids like? Unlike you, I lack a maternal bone in my body. The boy ranges from frightened to disgusted with me and I'm at my wits end! My only saving grace is that he's asleep most of the time, allowing me to attend to important matters. Honestly, how do you put up with such needy folk? -š¦ (@ask-asa-damon-lotf)
āGood evening to you as well, Damon. Philip is one of the better littluns I couldāve given you. You are very lucky for that. I can get your difficulty when dealing with Philip. Itās quite hard to figure out how he feels at times. With half his face melted alongside limited body movement; you have to guess and hope youāre right most of the time. Iām right about it as always. I am very experienced at dealing with children and the disabled. We both grew up in hospitals.. But not in the same way, of course. I merely just gave a lot of experience, so thatās why am I am good at caring for Philip and his types of people.ā

Asa belongs to @ask-asa-damon-lotf
#heās such a dick Iām sorry#he is too arrogant to admit it but he has an extremely strong maternal instinct#hearing a babyās cry is enough to make him panic#lord of the flies#lotf oc#lotf vincent#lord of the flies oc#lotf#oc#oc blog#oc rp#ask blog#send asks#vincent solanace#asa damon lotf#lotf philip#his hands are supposed to be behind his back but it doesnāt really look like that#kill Vincent please
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I love you Goku Gohan and Piccolo. "Too alien to be human, too human to be alien" trio of my heart
#dbz#don't mind me just thinking about how goku's saiyan instincts and love of fighting will always set him apart from his human friends#but he was raised as a human so his heart will always be human and disconnected from his saiyan heritage#meanwhile gohan wants to reject his saiyan heritage so badly. they traumatized him. they killed his friends and so many others#but when it comes down to it he'll fight every time. he'll always be so much stronger than the humans around him even when he lives#just like they do#and piccolo. he's not even human-passing like the others. he NEVER had a place on earth. but he lived and grew there regardless#long enough that when he finally meets his own people they're aliens to him as much as they are kin#i think it says a lot that he didn't want to stay with them - that he chose to live on earth over namek#don't mind me i just have dbz feelings today#wait i have more thoughts#trunks and goten are sort of in the club but not entirely. their saiyan sides are more just a cool thing they have that makes them strong#they don't have the negative view of sayans that gohan has. they've been raised much more human than even goku was#because they're strong they still get to be part of the 'group' but they're not part of the trauma bond and probably feel a bit left out#i think by the time vegeta grows old and dies he'll be in the club too#i keep picturing him meeting his people in otherworld and realizing how much he understands them but doesn't know them#how he has their instincts and inclinations but their culture was lost before he could really learn it#how much being on earth has changed him. but wondering if he would have a place with the group even in death
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Madoka Magica x AoT fic idea
Centuries ago, the incubators of the AoT dimension decided to branch out from their magical girl path, and create a more self-perpetuating method of creating new energy, one that requires minimal involvement from them.
They sought out a young girl with immense karmic energy, and struck a deal. This is how Ymir became the first of a new witch species: the titans.
As a Titan shifter, the energy she produced through a single transformation was roughly equivalent to the energy produced by a low-level magical girl becoming a witch. Of course, the incubators realized that such a creature would be impossible to go unnoticed. Unlike normal witches, which hid in their labyrinths and couldnāt be seen by humans, titans had large bodies that contained their users within the napes of their necks. Were the incubators to be discovered by the fully matured members of the human race, it would be difficult to continue collecting energy. As such, the incubators decided to only create one titan shifter, and monitor it before deciding whether or not to create more.
The results were outstanding.
Not only was Ymir generating tons of energy through constant transformation, but the humans also perpetuated the existence of the titan after her death. The incubators had been aware of the possibility of the titan witch form being passed down through bloodline, so they were quite pleased to see the number of shifters increase with the devouring of the titanās former vessel.
It was also discovered that, post-mortem, Ymir became another type of witch. While she had her own labyrinth, she was unable to lure any humans into it. As a matter of fact, it would prove near impossible, due to the fact that access to her labyrinth can only be obtained through her titan. As her titan was quickly torn into pieces by being passed on to her daughters, very few have ever found the door to it. This does not, however, prevent the witch from laying her kiss on humans. Rather, due to the unique nature of this witch, any and all titans and titan shifters are influenced by the witch Ymir. This is most strongly seen in the curse that causes any titan shifters to die after 13 years as a shifter, their souls sucked into the labyrinth during the transfer of the titan to the next vessel. It also subtly influences their mentality. Those with the closest access to Ymirās labyrinth will, inevitably, begin growing a curse within them, giving them access to all that the witch sees and has ever seen, what is and ever was, and what is yet to comeā according, of course, to the frayed mind of the witch.
Due to certain circumstances, Eren Yeager became the closest to the labyrinth since it was formed.
In the time period between Eren Yeager first becoming a shifter up until his death, an unprecedented amount of energy had been produced.
However, the incubators were still very far off their quota.
For a few years, they went back to their normal method, forming contracts with magical girls. A tried and true method, for sure, yet they longed for the efficiency of the perpetual energy production of those past few centuries. It would be near impossible to create another titan, what with the visible mark it left on humanity. Plus, with the sudden drop in population, it became harder to find new candidates to become magical girls. But alas, it would be impossible to recreate such a masterpiece of efficiency.
That was, until an incubator came across a woman silently weeping by a gravestone at the foot of a tree. The woman, practically dripping in karmic energy, gripped the red scarf around her neck, and whispered a single sentence to herself:
āI wish I could see you again, Eren.ā
She did not request to be a magical girl. She did not request to be a titan. From the incubatorās perspective, she simply wished to see Eren Yeager once more. The incubators, for their part, also wanted this. Therefore, they saw fit to grant this favor, wanting nothing in return. After all, fulfilling this wish merely required something the innovators themselves desired: the return of the titans. The method was simple, really: they placed planet earth in its own bubble outside the timeflow of the rest of the universe, and reset it to the day Eren Yeager became a titan shifter.
#this has been circling in my brain for a LONG time now#I havenāt actually watched AoT since I was in highschool so forgive me if anything on that side is inaccurate#I feel like Mikasa would have strong deja vu throughout her life and would have really accurate āinstinctsā when it comes to major events#I feel like this time loop would play out a few hundred times before Mikasa becomes able to accurately predict the future#not that she knows the reason#madoka magica#puella magi madoka magica#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#crossover#Madoka crossover#aot crossover
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is allowing yourself to feel resentment Part Of The Process
#resentment is a strong word maybe idk.#but like. kinda angry kinda disappointed. kinda wanna pull back - not in an avoidant way but a āidk if this is smart anymoreā way?#should i be encouraging that. or shutting that down.#it feels ugly and i donāt enjoy it and my instinct is to make it go away. but i really am trying to let myself have emotions lately so idk.#(NOT ABT ANYONE ON TUMBLR. no one be anxious.)#izzy.txt
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UNLOCKED SCORCHING SUN (sunburst fever) DANTE ! (Spoilers? Here is a short summary of my reactions):
-eiden i live for the cheesy things you say when you wanna bone someone. ehehehehe when the corny roleplay actually works too wellš¶šµ
-oh um š³ eiden getting himself off bygrinding against Dante's leg ahahaš¦š¦ ok uhhh š¦š¦š¦š¦š¦š¦š¦š¦
- THE CONFUSED SPUTTERING WHEN EIDEN GETS SUDDENLY BLUE BALLEDš¤£š¤£
-oh shir dante lore drop
-oh SGIT DAnte is working even harder than i thought just to make an equal society like,, dude,, that is sO MUCH to take on YOU ARE ONLY A BABY. BUT YOU TRY TO FIX CENTURIES OF INJUSTICE š
-aawwww...... gentle.....š„¹
-DAMMIT EIDEN STOP BRATTING FOR 60SECONDS AAHHHHHAJAJAhaha oihh ahhhh
-dante is like the Grinch he doesn't know what the dokidoki in his chest is (.it's his heart) but. He'll get it one day
- they're cute š and funny šš and eiden's "why do *i* have to go" is so... PETULANT i love them they're bickering idiots š„³
ah, correction*: why "THE HELL HAVE" i gotta go. to be fair, that is a mild reaction to dante suddenly cockblocking him from himself(?). yeah. selfish lover moment deserves at MINIMUM that amount of sass š¤£
#danei#you know i wondered what the official ship name is for them because dantei was my instinctive thought#but i guess that could be mixed up with someone just trying to type Dante and they made a typo#i guess danei in that case is more PURPOSEFUL. like YES i had to STOP before typing out dante's full name#i was used to seeing eiden all... understanding and gentle and sweet with yaku#that his dante dynamic knocked me slightly askew (positive)#i love being reminded of eiden's range... bc all his clan members are such different individuals......#of course he caters to them differently... so powerful and adaptable#i really just wanna swaddle dante and put him in a restful burrito like srsly that guy needs a break#a break where things will not fall apart without him and everything is fine and he learns to rely on others#honestly i don't know how he's not MORE pissed off all the time. if i had to deal with what he deals with daily...#murder spree. or catatonic learned helplessness. there will be no in-between#anyway i hope these two figure more things out together and help each other be stupid without consequence :)#i want them pushing and shoving each other in the fields like schoolkids and yelling the blandest insult comebacks at each other#too bad neither of them can use the āYOUR MOMā finishing blow#or maybe it's funnier... if they both learn to use āYOUR MOMā with perfect timing#that's when their relationship will be in their final form. strong and evolved. beyond mortal comprehension#nu carnival dante#enei
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So much of anxiety is living in both the past and future and not being present so, Iām trying to make a conscious effort to stay in the present from now on because I literally donāt actually exist anywhere else. so whats that matter - we just have right now. Constant worrying doesnāt actually alter anything. If bad, shitty stressful things are going to happen they will, thereās no control in that. Just have to live. Just have to continue, adapt and do the best you can in the moment youāre actually fucking in and keep going. Gotta go through bad stuff to get to the cool shit. Thereās always good stuff coming. Either way you gotta just keep going.
so presently Iām standing in my kitchen and itās crazy foggy outside. I have the worlds most precious cat at my feet and iām eating warmed homemade coffee cake.
#I also popped a b12 so that helps everything#my sleep schedules been really good lately too#I get up early and I'm busy until late so trying to slow my thoughts down to what's going on right in front of me#l tell everyone else to do that but don't always follow it myself because u know#the Disorders#haven't rly had my late night decompression I love but that's ok#I have that now in the morning for the moment#when I woke up my bedroom window was wide open and it felt and smelled like fall#felt cleansed and when I saw the fog immediately wanted to go to this little town near the beach that looks incredible foggy#but didnāt#went and made breakfast and lunches stupid early and been having a slow day since#I'm always fast and 5 steps ahead and I'm gonna ya know try not to do that anymore#I recognize thatās a survival instinct to be hypervigilant all the time Iāve been that way since childhood#and pair that with the last couple years health weirdness it's been a lot mentally#l've actually been thinking about checking out therapy especially for my ocd#I've gotten a handle on certain things but that's one thing that I still struggle with#especially because it latches onto real stressors and it can be a personal nightmare honestly#but with the right tools and time can get there#a therapist overall is probably a good idea too everyone needs one honestly lol#not me usually because I'm my own best therapist but maybe that's my problem#either way I'm a strong bitch it'll be fine#whatāll be will be#gonna drop the need for control on things I can't control and yeah! that's it#gonna look out the window about it#and take things as they come#and do scary and new shit#and push myself but also remember to be gentle with myself#and I'm gonna try not to be mean to anyone at work today but I can't make any promises#this coffee cake is the best thing in the world i'm sry you don't have it in your mouth too#wrote this hours ago but sentiment still stands and I havenāt been mean yet but thereās still time
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I fully support a shutdown because the alternative puts us on a path to dictatorship.
One party is totally responsible for this, and it ain't the democrats.
#bullshit regime#i just have no faith that the democrats will hold strong#because their basic instinct is to compromise on most things#but that really won't be good for the country if they do
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my biggest most shameful fantasy isnt even sexual its just a woman seeing me and deciding to treat me as her child in a boy way? like i just want to have a mother figure i cant disappoint. and also she would read to me and hold me and i could sleep in her bed.
#p#i am not intending to inflict this on any woman ever dw#but its really embarassing all of my irl crushes/obsessesions have been on girls who kind of babied me#the moment i fell in love with the girl who ruined my life was when she saw my sunburn and said i was awakening her maternal instincts#and she called me a strong boy. yes as a joke but i dont care
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