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youhearstatic · 6 years

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Sandworms and Other Concerns - Barry discovers that Lup's presence can improve any situation, including having his arm torn off by a fifty-foot-long, carnivorous, burrowing, acid-spitting, hook-toothed, pinstriped Sandworm. (By @tanger-catnip & @youhearstatic - Also on AO3.)

Lup blinked. Once, then twice. At first, she didn't know what had woken her up. The ship was perfectly still, aside from the faint thrum of the bond engine that she'd learned how to tune out decades ago. The interior lighting that simulated a day-night cycle was dimmed as low as it went which meant it was still 'nighttime.'

After a moment, Lup realised what it was. The steady pattern of breathing that lulled her into sleep was coming at its normal pace. Barry was awake.

Lup braced herself with one arm and lifted her head. Her pale blue eyes shone like lanterns, a side effect of her darkvision.

It was all in shades of grey, but she could see the whole room. The dresser with its drawers left open, the closet door with the two sets of robes hanging from hooks, the bookcase stuffed full to bursting, and her bra on the floor next to a pair of durable denim jeans.

"Hey," Lup murmured, once her ethereal gaze settled on the object of her interest. She moved the arm slung over Barry's middle and reached up to touch his cheek.

Lup licked her lips. They were painfully dry, on the verge of cracking. Gods, she hated the desert. It had been picturesque for about ten minutes before the Starblaster crew had realised there was nothing else to this plane besides sand, sand, and more sand.

The hand on Barry's cheek moved to his shoulder, careful to not touch the joint where his arm should have been connected. Lup was trying her hardest not to stare. She knew he was self-conscious about it and she could only sympathise.

Being grievously injured early in a cycle was almost worse than death. The pain hurt almost as much as having to deal with the steep reduction of your abilities. In this case, Barry's had lost his whole right arm, making even routine tasks like eating and writing that much more difficult.

Sometimes, when Lup shut her eyes, she still saw flashes of that horrible moment when the cartilage in his shoulder gave out, and his skin tore open.

"I'm going to fucking kill that sandworm, slit it open, and take your arm back," Lup growled under her breath. "I don't care if it's mostly bones by now."

Barry shifted awkwardly. He was still not fully adjusted to leveraging his body with one less limb. After a low grunt of pain, he gave up the effort. With two arms he could have tilted himself towards Lup without disturbing the snuggling that much, but until he got a lot more used to things, everything would be a huge production.

"I'd rather your bones didn't join them," he said. He bent his head to where her hand rested on his shoulder, rubbed his cheek against her fingers. "Pretty sure your fireball made my... uh, made it taste charbroiled anyway."

Lup cracked half a grin and a short snicker. Then her eyes narrowed as she looked Barry over closely, searching for any signs of discomfort. Something had to have woken him up.

"Do you need more painkillers?" She asked.

Barry went quiet, his thoughts drifting back where they'd been before she woke. Ever since the dull ache turned to a persistent roar, he'd been considering the meds. Merle had reminded him he needed to stay ahead of the pain. 'If you let it get out of hand - ha! - it's hard to catch back up. Then I gotta blow another high-level spell keeping your ass upright,' the cleric had told him. Merle had already done a lot of patching up when the three of them returned from that disastrous scouting mission.

On the other hand - ugh - the meds made him muddle-headed, and he was already down a considerable amount of usefulness.

"No painkillers yet," he told her. "I can't think with them."

Lup frowned. "It's the middle of the night? Why do you need to think?"

Lup wasn't going to push him on it though. She had a feeling if the roles were reversed, she'd be just as stubborn about taking her medication. Not being fully present when they were counting down days till the apocalypse was a tough pill to swallow.

Barry focused on her, squinting to make out details on her face in the dark. "What about you? Are you doing okay?"

The sand worm's teeth had gotten him, but only after it's mate had been split open by Magnus's axe. Both Lup and Magnus were coated in its caustic blood. Mags's chest armour had taken the brunt of it, but they were both freckled in nasty-looking, coin-sized burns.

Lup sighed and moved to kiss him. His lips were dried out from the heat like her own, but she hardly noticed.

"I'm fine, Cuddle Muffin. I've burned myself worse making pancakes."

That wasn't strictly true, the pancake incident hadn't gotten her in places covered by clothing like the acid, but the overall coverage was similar.

Now that she'd confirmed everything was alright, or at least was how she'd left it, Lup dropped down and nestled back into her preferred spot under Barry's remaining arm. She hugged him tightly around his middle, unspeakably glad to have him around to hold. It'd been touch and go for a few terrifying seconds. If Magnus's grip had faltered, or her fireball had missed, the worm would've dragged Barry under and ripped him to shreds.

"I hate it when you do that. You've had your arm torn off and you're worried about me? Like, seriously?" Lup thought that she'd worked out all her feelings on this, but they kept coming back. "Just, let me take care of you for once, okay?"

"You do take care of me." Barry squeezed her gently. "All the time," he promised.

They went quiet for a moment. Barry listened to her breathing beside him. The feel of her arms around him helped take his mind off his right side.

"Did I ever tell you I broke my arm when I was a kid? Three places. Had one of those casts that makes you look like a kid's stick drawing with the arm jutting out straight. At least now I'm not banging it on stuff, I guess," he added with a huff of laughter. "I probably told you already, didn't I?" The passage of time since he lost his arm was hard to parse. He'd probably told her the same story three times.

Try as he might. Barry couldn't stop coming back to that sickening noise right after Magnus had grabbed him and before Lup had started screaming. Afterwards, Lup and Magnus had taken one look at him and gone completely pale.

Gods, that noise. Everything else was a blur, but that noise stayed in his head.

Barry was both tired but not, and the clarity felt worth holding on to. Being out of it was worse than anything. He'd woken up at one point and thought it was all a dream. His arm was fine, but he'd never been on the Starblaster. No Hunger, but no Lup. Maybe he hadn't woken up. He's not sure. He didn't like having his thoughts messed with.

"Sorry," he said with another light squeeze. "Go back to sleep."

Lup didn't want to sleep, she wanted to stay up and listen to him ramble about anything and everything. If it were possible, she'd wrap herself up in his voice like a warm fuzzy blanket.

But, it did sound a little scratchier than it should.

"Not yet. You should have something to drink," Lup decided.

Lup paused to snuggle into his side and hug him tightly. Making up for the moments she would be gone in advance.

Then she slipped out of bed. Taako and her could move like quicksilver when they wanted (old talents from travelling shows they'd worked) and the mattress barely moved to mark her departure. She went to the door and opened it just wide enough to slide through.

Lup wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing, but it was late enough she doubted that anyone else would be up to spot her and give her shit for it.

Once in the kitchen, Lup found a heavy cast-iron kettle and filled it with water. She took a pass on the stove and held the kettle over her open palm as she summoned a handful of flame. The flames licked the pure black metal, heating the water to boiling in minutes.

Lup rested it on the stove and went to go find the herbal tea. Davenport kept a stash of chamomile and lemon for when his headaches got bad. She filled up an infuser with two spoonfuls of dry leaves and shoved it in the pot.

The only part of this process she couldn't rush though was the brewing. So Lup tapped her fingers on her thigh and started to count to 300 in her head.

She gave up around 240 and poured out the tea into a large mug with the phrase 'I make horrible chemistry puns, but only periodically' on the side. Next, she dumped in four teaspoons of sugar, stirred it up, and cast Ray of Frost to cool it down to just the right temperature.

Lup carried the mug in both hands, moving slower, so she didn't spill. She nudged open the door to what used to be Barry's room but was now their shared one. She placed the mug down on the bedside table and flitted up to the bed again. Settling with her legs on either side of his hips. She helped him sit up. Shifting positions stirred up the roar in Barry's arm or lack of an arm or wherever... but how could he complain with a naked elf beside him bearing warm tea?

Lup collected the mug and pressed it into his fingers but kept her grip on both the mug and his hand. The last thing Barry needed right now was to have hot water spilt all over his chest.

Barry couldn't have stopped the smile if he wanted to. Lup helped him with the mug, and he drank. It was sweet, the way he liked it, and the sugary warmth of tea and knowing she had put such care into preparing it pushed away some of that persistent tug of pain.

After a few sips, she sat back to look at him. Probably trying to figure out what else he needed, he realised.

"Hey," he told her. "Did I ever tell you..." he hesitated and went for a joke instead. "...that I broke my arm when I was a kid?"

He waited for a beat then smiles. "Kidding." He leans forward, tilting his neck so he can kiss her forehead.

Lup fell right into his trap. Silly of her, but she'd had her guard down. She laughed, high and soft like the rustle of wind chimes.

Barry sat back and continued, "I was going to say: did I ever tell you that you're better than pain meds?"

Lup shifted and tilted her head to one side. "You sure it's me and not my tits?" she asked with a grin. She moved her shoulders back, showing off her chest. There wasn't that much to show, but she was damn proud of them.

"I'm sure they're a contributing factor," Barry admitted, giving Lup the long, appreciative look she always deserved. "But I really did just mean how you take care of me."

Lup dropped the posture and nudged a little closer to him. "If I'm better, then I shouldn't leave your side until you get your arm back, right?" She smiled wolfishly and tapped him lightly on the tip of his nose. "I bet you'd get sick of me eventually. You're going to deny it, you huge sap, but 24/7 Lup for a whole year is a lot to handle, even Taako gets breaks."

Barry shook his head slowly, to not disturb his shoulder. "Sap that I am, I'll deny the impossible. I'll never get sick of you, of this, of us. I signed up for the long haul." He made a face. "Though currently, you'll have to trust me on the signature."

He ran his hand over her knee to her thigh. His thumb edged around one of the circular burns. "I'd like to threaten the cause of these, but it's already dead, and I'm not sure my left armed punching would pose much threat."

Lup bit down on her bottom lip. Like most burns, they were still hot to the touch, even ages after the incident. They would probably scar over. She might have cared about that before, but thanks to the regen cycle any change to her appearance, positive or negative, was only transitory.

"I guess I'm gonna have to work on offhand casting, huh?" Barry mused. "And offhand writing and eating and everything else."

"I'll practice with you," Lup offered. "Then you can't trick yourself into thinking you suck at it, because I'll suck with you, and we can add being ambidextrous to our list of kickass skills. Something tells me this'll not be the last time someone loses an arm."

"True," Barry agreed. "Probably should have worked on it before, huh?"

Lup shrugged and said. "Before? Later? Our timeline is so fucked up, does it even matter?"

Barry was lost in thought for a moment. "I bet Lucretia can cast with both hands equally." His eyebrows pulled together in concentration. "But she usually uses both together. I wonder if there's a left brain/right brain component to casting? Maybe I should try offhand with and without a wand, too. Maybe a wand would..."

Barry reached his left arm to scratch the opposite side then stopped. "Dammit. Phantom itching. I read cases of that but..." He dropped his hand to his lap. Lup wanted to try getting it for him as if she might have more luck

"Maybe Magnus can carve an arm for me," Barry thought out loud.

"Wood is kinda heavy, Blueberry. You'd might as well tape a stick to your arm... unless."

Lup grew quiet, taking her turn to get lost in thought.

"Never mind. We have plenty of time to sort shit out. If anyone can figure out how to jury-rig a prosthetic arm while stranded in a planet-sized desert, it's us."

Lup glanced around her, remembering where they were. "Crap, I should have helped you lay down already." She vacated his lap and helped him settle back down in bed, adjusting the pillows to compensate.

"Babe, do you ever feel like..." Lup trailed off and shook her head. Better not. He was injured and tired. "Do you want those painkillers now?"

Barry looked over at the medicine container and made a face. "I guess I'd better before it really gets going. Half dose maybe? I hate to waste them. Someone else might need them before this cycle is over."

He let her get the meds and the tea. He wanted to see how much he could do on his own, but then she'd just have to help him up and get him back settled in bed again. His balance was still tough to negotiate. He'd slipped and knocked the still raw joint yesterday and had no desire to experience that again.

It was bad enough just to look at. He was ready for the stage where he could pin up the sleeve and not have to see it so much. But Merle had recommended leaving everything but the sutures uncovered. They needed to keep a close eye out for blood poisoning or infection since they didn't have a lot of information on sandworms. The sum of what they had learned was: bites, has caustic blood, resistant to fire damage, and susceptible to axe.

Lup carefully shook out a pair of pills from the bottle. It had originally contained 500 capsules and was still about 3/4th full. She dropped the second pill back in anyway and placed the remaining one into the palm of Barry's hand.

She let him take it on his own, waiting till he had it in his mouth before pressing the mug to his lips. He swallowed, which was maybe more difficult since she had laid him down before giving him the pills, fantastic planning Lup, Bt-dubs.

She distracted herself by readjusting the bedding. She'd arranged a pillow to help support the right side of Barry's body. Lup edged it back into place and tucked the blanket over it.

"Hey," Barry said, patting the space on the bed beside him, "Come here and finish that thought you had before?"

Lup looked up then over to the spot where she probably should have been. She nodded and checked everything was fine one last time before rounding the bed and hopping up. She was too awake to lie down, so she crossed her legs and pulled his left arm into her lap. She played with his hand, rubbing his fingers with her thumbs and gingerly tugging on them before letting go.

Barry watched her. These sorts of moments were his favourite. Watching her close and quiet while she lined up thoughts to share with him. The way she touched him when she was distracted and the way it soothed them both.

"It's not important; you should be resting right now," Lup protested. Having her brain directly connected to her mouth was helpful for witty comebacks, but it did get her into more uncomfortable conversations than she would have liked. Particularly with Barry, who paid her such close attention that no offhand comment would escape his notice.

But she knew the more she denied telling him, the more interested he would get. It was too late to take it back now.

"Okay, fine. The other day I remembered something. Y'know when we were stargazing that time, and my head was on your tummy, and it made that funny gurgling nose? You turned all red, and then I said it sounded like you had eaten a dinosaur, and then I tickled you until you promise not to eat any more extinct creatures?"

It was funnier to think about than to say out loud, mostly because Lup could still picture the abject horror on Barry's face before he realised she found it funny.

"Oh, no, not the dinosaur," he said with a quiet chuckle. It's been years, and his face still went red thinking about that. But with Lup, he had learned about a kind of embarrassment he hadn't known existed. One that was sweet - fond even - because it was something shared. Embarrassment probably wasn't the right word for it, though. Or maybe it was the right word, and the one he'd felt before was ashamed.

"Ha, yeah. But uh, that doesn't matter," Lup continued. "It's just I had that pinned in year 43, but like, two hours later I realised that it couldn't be because Legato was 47. The more I think about it, the more I see that I have no idea what order a lot of my favorite shit actually happened in."

Lup sighed and stopped fidgeting with his hand, settling for just holding it.

"Fifteen years... that's how long we've been, right? This is sixteen? It either feels like a few months or an eternity. Never like a decade and a half."

Barry squeezed his fingers around the hand beneath his. "I know what you mean. There have been a few times I've thought about asking Lucretia to figure out when something happened, but I never do. But, I sort of like that so many, uh, so many of my favourite memories aren't moments in the timeline anymore."

Barry hesitated a moment, considering his words. "They're, uh, like books I've reread so many times that I can't remember not knowing the story." He felt his cheeks going red again, knew he was being sappy but pushed on. "I just know how they make me feel," he finished, squeezing her hand again.

He rubbed his thumb along the edge of her palm. "But then, I don't know about elf lives. For a human, though, I've lost all perspective on time."

"See, that's the thing! This shouldn't be that long for me, right? But I don't... I didn't have this much stuff I wanted to hold onto before," Lup admitted. "Taako and I had our moments, obviously, but there was so much bad mixed in with the good, it was easier to just let it all go. Taako would still be there when I woke up the next day, and he was the only thing worth holding on to, so I didn't think it mattered... But, BJ, like about age 100 to 175? All of that is just a blur. I couldn't tell you anything about that if I tried. We were kids, then we were in college, then the institute, then this..."

Lup brought Barry's hand up to her face and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.

"I tried to talk to Taako about it, but I think he'd still operating on the level I used to. He's letting it wash over him, and I'm just down here trying to catch water with my hands, and I..."

Lup shook her head. She bit down very softly on the side of Barry's pointer finger. Honestly forgetting that it was his hand and not hers as she tried to sift through her thoughts.

"If we were on normal time, you'd be... It would be half over by now. I don't have enough memories of us for it to be half over."

Lup looked down and noticed the faint pink mark her fangs left on Barry's finger. "Aw, fuck. Sorry babe. You know I get bitey when I'm anxious, but you've had more than enough teeth for one cycle."

Barry laughed. "Lup, if having your teeth on me was a problem it would have come up before now."

"-And I could never have enough memories of us. I mean, I don't want us running forever but..." It was impossible to think of what it might be like when time found them again.

"I know what you mean about trying to catch it all," he said, switching back to the other part of her topic. "Does Taako not...?" Barry stopped and considered the thought. "I really hate thinking of him... not having moments he wants to hold onto."

The more Barry thought about it, the more obvious it seemed. He suddenly wanted to go pull Taako out of bed and drag him out to the deck, get him to make up obscene constellations or work on a convoluted prank to pull on Magnus. But you can't force those moments. Like this one, even in the middle of living it, he already knew it was a favourite. Spun out of nothing but being awake at the same late-early hour.

It reminded him of how lucky he was. He'd woken up in pain, struggling with back and forth thoughts of how it should be dealt with. But even without medicine in his system yet, the pain was background noise for how grateful and lucky he felt to be with her.

"I'm glad you have more good memories than you can hold onto," he whispered. Dammit, he wanted to wrap her in his arms. "Miniature hug," he told her and closed his fingers around her wrist. He rubbed his thumb over her skin the way he'd rub his hands on her back.

Lup snickered and repeated "Miniature hug!" she took his remaining wrist in her hand and returned the squeeze. Then because she could, Lup flopped down, cuddled up to him, and tucked his arm around her hips like it was a blanket.

She groaned, just from the pure comfort of it all. She'd rather not have the actual blankets over her because of her acid burns, but Barry was better anyway.

"This is all your fault, you know," She muttered. "Before, I didn't know what I was missing. I thought I had everything I needed. Now I'm pissed the fuck off because some shitty worm deprived me of 5.3 percent of you."

"I'll accept that blame," Barry answered fondly.

Lup tucked beside him was wonderful. He'd never known anyone could be almost frustrated with an overabundance of contentment. But then, it wasn't something many people got to experience often, he thought.

He thought of them stargazing and his stomach interrupting the moment.

"But," he said and tapped his palm on her hip gently. "It's the worm's fault I'm half as handy. But now the worm can join the army. I don't have anything up my sleeve... Uh, there's probably something with 'will I ever play the piano again' but I'm blanking. I'd give my right arm to stop thinking of these," he finished apologetically.

Lup groaned, not out of contentment this time.

She held up a finger and pressed it to his lips. At first, it seemed like she wanted him to shut it, but then she proved that she'd only been buying herself more time to think.

"I think these puns are verging on self-harm. It might even be a cause for alarm. I'd hate to see you fall into an armpit of despair. If you don't stop soon, it could cost you an arm and a leg. Trying to avoid this is going to take some elbow grease."

Lup took a deep pull of breath and looked him dead in the eyes. "How does karma taste, cyan pants."

"Okay, you win, you win," he told her. "I'm glad you're on my side because you know Magnus and Merle will try to outdo themselves with those for the rest of the year."

Lup kissed him hard on the lips, then pulled back to whisper, "love you, you massive dork."

Barry decided that If karma tasted like Lup's kiss, he'd accept whatever it had in store.

He waited for her to settle back in place and tightened his arm around her. "I love you, Lup. You're the best, hands down."

Lup flinched. Anyone else in the multiverse and she would have come firing back, pun-guns blazing, but for Barry, she could let him have the last laugh.

She closed her eyes, hoping that if she pretended to sleep, he would join her.

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