#and the mother is on a call with her husband and she put the volume to maximum

[sleepinginmygrave]

i have murder urges rn

[emmyrosee]

“I need you to know how unbelievably pissed I am at you.”

You interrupt the peaceful folding and stocking of your clothes at your in-laws house with your threat. Immediately, Shoyo tenses up and whips his head to look at you, eyes wide and dancing over your face, waiting for you to continue your rant and fury.

When you don’t, merely continuing to glare at him, he gives a frantic, “what did I do!”

“Lower. Your damn. Voice,” you grit, and his hands clap over his mouth childishly. You take a deep inhale to calm down, “you told, your sweet and old parents…”

He looks at you expectantly again. You flare your nostrils and hike up your voice in an obnoxious nasal:

“We’re huuuuungry!”

Instantly, at your mocking tone, he breaks down into laughter, trying to stifle them to keep your anger at bay.

“So embarrassing!” You snip.

“Baby, we were! They don’t mind, you know that-“

“THEY STARTED COOKING! FOR US!”

“You know they’d rather eat with us than have us go out to eat!”

“Shoyo,” you snarl, rising to your feet and approaching him; with nervous laughter, he shrinks back. “It is eigHT IN THE EVENING, AND YOUR MOTHER IS MAKING NIKUJAGA!” You grab a pillow and start whacking him with it, ignoring his pleas and sheltering arms. “For the love of the gods, she should be relaxing!”

“She’s fine!”

You stop swinging and look down at him in shock. He makes a grab for the pillow and you whip it away, and he whines around some giggles.

“You do not make that decision for her,” you growl, throwing the pillow to the side and shoving him on his back before quickly crawling on top of him. “I would rather us both starve and rot away, before I tell your sweet, old parents that we’re hungry. ESPECIALLY at 20:14.”

“Baby, it’s fine,” he giggles, his hands settling on your hips. “They’re totally fine; you know my mom lives to make you happy!” You cross your arms over your chest, and he snickers as he raises up on his elbows, “just a quick bite to eat, a few laughs, then we can all go to bed, right?”

You exhale through your nose, and he tucks his lips in nervously.

“You know what?” You begin, relaxing your shoulders.

“What?”

“You’re right. You’re right! They’re just cooking. It’s fine.”

“Exactly! They’re fine.”

With that, you swing your legs off of your husband and scurry to the closet, and before he can ask, you grab a random stack of blankets to throw at his head. He screams at the sudden impact.

“Since they can whip up dinner, you can whip me up a bed on the couch. Since APPARENTLY you are just so okay with spontaneous forces of labor.”

He cackles some more as you mimic his “we’re hungry!” at random volumes, putting your clothes away in the drawers until his sweet old mother calls you both to the kitchen to eat, not too dissimilar from how she did when you were younger.

“I’m going to bury you alive,” you snarl at him, leaning into the arm tossed around your shoulders as you make your way down the hall to eat. “Watch your damn back. I’ll put cyanide in your food tomorrow, try me bitch.”

He merely snickers as you threaten him with the most bizarre forms of torture you can conjure, all while the smell of a hot supper fills the air around the house.

based on this video bc I love Lori and Noah 🥺🩷

[soupandsimple]

Pretty, Like… (with James Potter)

[ little Harry meeting his new baby sister after you come home from the hospital ]

* f l u f f 🥰

** includes godfather Sirius Black; indirect mention of Lily (and it’s not positive sooo..)

This was requested: see the ask here

…………….

“Watch your step dove,” James said as he held the car door open for you with one hand and the baby carrier in the other.

You had just arrived home from the hospital after the birth of your baby girl but that had nothing to do with your husband being so cautious with you- that was just an all the time James thing.

You smiled at him once you were out of the car and stepped aside so he could close the door.

“Ahhhh!”

“Well, I think I hear Haz” James chuckled at the sound of a muffled shriek.

Looking to the living room window you see little Harry’s hands and excited face smushed up against the glass.

Harry was five years old but he wasn’t your biological son; the story with his real mother is one you don’t care to tell. It involves her, her past lover and death and that’s where you liked to leave it at.

“My babyyy, I missed him so much!” you said with your hands at your heart. As it almost always goes, he wasn’t your biological son but you loved that boy more than anything. The little girl in the carrier might be your first birthed child but she was not what you considered your first child.

Having made your way to the front door, you heard all three of your locks rattle undone and braced yourself for Harry’s high volume welcome.

“Mummy! Daddy! Can I see her?! Can I see her?!” Harry exclaimed, jumping up and down at the sight of you both.

His godfather Sirius stood behind him and shook his head in disbelief. “Those sugary breakfast cereals are tasty and he eats them without complaints but you tell me, is it worth it?” he joked, pointing to the bouncing boy with a faux pensive look.

You giggled at the comment and looked down at Harry. “Yes you can see her but let’s get inside first, okay?” you said with a boop to his nose.

Harry nodded and ran to the living room couch sitting himself nice and straight on the cushion, legs drumming excitedly as he waited for James to bring the carrier over with his new sister.

“Okay Haz, you ready?” James asked, setting the carrier down on the coffee table after Sirius removed two cereal-less, milk filled bowls and took them to the kitchen.

“Yes! Yes!”

“I present to you….Hazel Potter!” James enthused, swiping the blanket away from the front of the carrier like a magician.

Hazel squinted her eyes upon the feel of the newfound light, took one glance at Harry, yawned then closed her eyes again and slightly squirmed back to sleep.

Harry squealed and his hands instantly shot out to, what you assume, grab Hazel’s tiny fisted ones but James stopped him before he got the chance to. “Whoa buddy, gentle, gentle. She’s trying to sleep. We can look at her but let’s let her rest for now.”

Harry groaned a little but smiled when he looked down at Hazel again.

“Mama, she’s so tiny but so big also! I can’t believe she was in your tummy” he commented, voice full of wonder and astonishment.

“Your mum is a real life superwoman, don’t you ever forget that” James told Harry with a gentle ruffle to his hair.

“I won’t!” Harry replied, biting down on his lip to admire Hazel some more.

You gifted James a smile of appreciation as he put his arm around you and kissed your temple.

Although it had been a healthy birth, it still hadn’t been an easy thing for you. You’d always been afraid of pregnancy and all it entailed and James knew that. You braved through a lot these past nine months and he’d never take that for granted for as long as he’d live. But truthfully, fear aside, being able to give your little Harry a sibling and James a second child had without a doubt been one of the greatest pleasures you’ve had in life (along with being James Potter’s wife and the person who Harry called mama of course).

“Hey hey, what do you think of the new sister Haz?” Sirius asked Harry, drying his hands against his pants as he came back into the living room, bending little ways over to take a peek at the little bundle of a baby in the carrier.

Harry smiled and shrugged. “I don’t know. I barely know her...but she is very pretty, like a bakery bread.”

A bakery bread. He was talking about the loaves of bread you and James purchased at the bakery every Saturday morning. Yes … bread.

Sirius cackled and clapped his hands at Harry’s comparison while James failed to suppress a smile as he nodded and squinted his eyes at his son.

“Well that’s very nice of you to say. She is really pretty huh, like a bakery bread” you repeated lovingly, with one hand laying flat against James’s chest.

Harry nodded and giggled at how his words sounded coming from someone else.

“Can we go put her in the crib so she can be better?” Harry then asked.

“That’s a great idea baby, she’ll be a lot more comfortable there won’t she” you praised, understanding exactly what he meant by better.

James removed himself from your side and grabbed the handle of the carrier to pick it up. “C’mon then, let’s go show baby bread her bread box” James joked for his son’s amusement.

Harry of course instantly laughed with joy and ‘helped’ James by placing his small hands at the back of the carrier on the walk up the stairs, meanwhile Sirius thoughtfully stayed behind to accompany you at your slower pace; ever since you’d first met him, he had always acted like such a big brother to you and you loved it.

“You know, I’ve watched those two dote on you endlessly these past three years but by the looks of it, you’re going to have to start sharing them with little Ms. Hazel Potter now” Sirius teased. “She’s beautiful by the way.”

“Well thank you…. and as for the sharing, I’m not going to mind one bit” you replied blissfully. <3

[yutasbellybuttonpiercing]

Soulmatch™ — App-grade your love life!

(new picture bc this is the renjun i imagined in this)

pairing: huang renjun x reader

au/genre: smut, humor, fluff, angst, strangers to enemies to lovers...?, non-idol!AU

characters: huang renjun, f!reader, best friend!jaemin, best friend!haechan, friend!chenle, renjun's parents

word count: 24.807 words (oh my god)

general warnings: mentions of cheating, men being dudes and dudes being bros, lack of communication, haechan is a milf hunter, trust issues, insecurities regarding relationships, hook ups, smoking, alcohol, mentions of vomit (nothing graphic or detailed, literally just the word), mentions of erectile dysfunction (???), emotional manipulation..? past na jaemin x reader, implied past huang renjun x wong yukhei / lucas, toxic masculinity, daddy issues, haechan and jaemin talk very vulgarly and do not know boundaries, mentions of virginity, crying, heartbreak, author makes use of their limited knowledge of tarot.

smut warnings: ...hate sex...?, unprotected sex (nuh-uh!), fingering and brief oral (f receiving), face-fucking, switch!renjun, switch!reader (?), pet names, a lot of imagining sex, brief choking, mentions of anal, creampie.

synopsis: Renjun is a hopeless romantic, his goal is to meet his perfect match by the end of the year, maybe even his soulmate. The perfect solution: an experiment for finding love through an app. Renjun doesn't care who it is, as long as they're a perfect match, he thinks. But then you show up...

a/n: i really love this so much. it's a bit different from what i usually do bc it has a real storyline! it's complicated (not really)! i really poured my heart and soul into this. i love renjun so much. argh! also, why do my endings always feel rushed???? help???

taglist: @she-is-dreaming @nctzennikki09 @babyjenono @noonaisreading

"Why the fuck do they need information on my favorite toys from ages five to ten?" Renjun groans, rubbing his temples before quickly grabbing ahold of his phone to facetime his mother. The ringing sound of his phone had always managed to annoy him, and he wonders whether there'd be a section in the forms where he could put that down.

Staring at himself on his screen, he fixes his brown hair. It had gotten quiet long over the past few weeks since his last haircut. Admittedly, he hasn't had the energy to leave the house, really, thankful for his freelancer job that allows him to work from the confines of his own four walls. Although, he'd thought about growing his hair out anyway.

Finally, his mother answers the phone.

"No, it's Renjun... No, turn the TV down! Down! Lower the volume," his mother shouts, not at him, but at what he could only assume is his father, judging by the Jackie Chan movie playing in the background, that after all these years, he can identify by the sounds only.

"Hello, Junnie," his mother finally addresses him, a gentle smile on her face, a harsh contrast to the annoyed frown she'd thrown at her husband earlier.

"Hey, mom," Renjun says, tapping on his own video so it would fill the screen instead of his mother's.

"How are you doing?"

"Fine, fine. Uh, listen. Do you remember which toys I liked when I was 5?" Renjun finally lets his hair fan over his forehead in peace, getting frustrated that it's not staying in the exact place he wants it to. He's only talking to his mother anyway. That woman'd wiped his ass a few years back, so why bother.

"What an odd question," she grins, briefly getting distracted by something happening behind her phone which she shoos away with her hand and a tight lipped frown that disappears as soon as he lays her eyes back on her son.

"I just need to know. It's really important."

"Okay, let me think. I believe you liked this one thing- this squishy" – her hand squishes the air in front of her phone – "what is it called?"

Renjun can hear his father's voice from behind the phone, "what? Plushie?"

"Yes! You had a plushie that you really liked!"

"A plushie..." Renjun mumbles, filling the letters into the field, "what color?"

"It was a cow."

"So black and white?"

"Those are the usual cow colors."

"Okay. And when I was six?"

"Honey, what do you need this for? Is it still this love calculator thing? You know I read that article about it online-" His mother raises her brows in concern.

"Yes, but I didn't want to say it, because-" Renjun's words get cut off by his father's obnoxiously loud voice as he yanks the phone from his mother's hands, his big head coming into view and Renjun has to immediately roll his eyes.

"That's nonsense, son, and you know it. Anyway, when will you come by again? I bought steak. You know no one can make steak like I do!"

"Yes, I know. I won't be able to make it any time soon, though." Renjun sighs, fingers fiddling with a loose string sneaking its way out of the couch cushion.

"What if I told you we had some fine wine?" – "Stop dragging our son into alcoholism," Renjun's mom finally wins the phone back, but Renjun can still hear his dad's laugh in the background.

Renjun huffs. "So? Year six?"

"Honey, I'm really not sure. You've had a fire truck phase, then enjoyed dinosaurs, then couldn't get enough of those collectable horses. You were a very diverse kid with so many different interests. I don't think you can categorize that or sort it into years. Just say that you liked all kinds of toys–"

"Even girls' toys!" His father laughs.

"Alright," Renjun sighs, pressing his lips tightly together before wishing his mother a good night and ending the call.

"All kinds of toys..." Renjun mutters to no one but himself as he types his answer into the box, shaking his head. He's been filling out these forms for days on end, and slowly he starts believing his parents' words that it's just nonsense.

But it is his only hope.

_____

"A what for what?" Donghyuck asks, mouth as full of burger as Renjun's own, hence why he couldn't understand him the first time. Renjun holds up his hand, chews aggressively, then swallows hard.

"An experiment for finding love," he explains a second time, and the crease in between Donghyuck's eyebrows only seems to be getting deeper with every word that leaves Renjun's lips.

"What the fuck is that?" Donghyuck asks (assumingely, Renjun still can't understand him over the huge bite of patty and bun inside of his mouth).

"You give a whole bunch of information about yourself to the scientists, and they use some software to find your ideal partner," Renjun explains briefly. There's a bit more to it than just that, but he doesn't want to overwhelm Donghyuck's brain while he's eating.

"Pff, okay?" Donghyuck says, a few crumbs of- whatever that had been only mere seconds ago flying out of his mouth and directly onto Renjun's forearm. The older contorts his face in utter disgust, shaking the sticky pieces of food off of his skin.

"You're a pig, Donghyuck," Renjun states, wiping the spot with his napkin because he can still feel Donghyuck's saliva on himself.

"I might be a pig, but at least I got game." Donghyuck finally swallows, grinning proudly with a small piece of lettuce stuck in between his teeth which Renjun has yet to decide telling him about after that insult.

"You don't have 'game'," Renjun spits, fingers motioning quotation marks, "you just have low standards. You'd fuck everything that bends over in front of you."

"That is not true!"

"Need I remind you of what happened with Chenle's mom?"

"She is a milf!" Donghyuck whines, letting his hands weakly fall down onto the table.

"Whatever." Renjun sighs. "Point is: I'm not lacking game, I just want to wait for the right person."

"Alright, two explanations, same outcome: your dick is dry as fuck," Donghyuck nods, pointing his fry at Renjun before he drags it through his vanilla milkshake and stuffs his mouth with it. Renjun presses his lips together, frowning slightly as he imagines the taste of that. "So when are you getting banged?"

"I don't want to get banged, Hyuck," Renjun answers, fingers coming up to rub at his temples. He knows he's lying, Donghyuck knows he's lying, so why did he lie? "There is more to it than sticking my dick up a hole."

"Just any hole? You didn't specify that it should be a pussy?" Donghyuck's eyes widen and he stops his motions. Renjun watches anxiously what a large amount of time Donghyuck's been holding a new fry into his milkshake for.

"I didn't. I don't care."

"You'd shag a dude?!" Donghyuck's shrill voice attracts the eyes of several people sitting around them.

"I don't know why you needed to let everybody know about that," Renjun say through gritted teeth, "but yes. I don't mind."

"I didn't know you were bi," Donghyuck finally sucks the fry into his mouth, then cleans his fingers with his tongue.

"I'm pan."

"Same thing."

Renjun opens his mouth to protest, but he's honestly a little drained to dispute with Donghyuck right now. Wow, what has he become...

"So, when are you finding real love, then?" Donghyuck tries again, empathically sensing that he just scratched at Renjun's teasing-limits and should therefore tone it down a little before he loses a friend.

"I finished filling out the forms a couple of days ago. They have to analyze it and then find someone in their data base. I'm not sure how long it's going to take," Renjun explains, losing a tad of hope with every word at the realization. It's probably going to take forever.

"Okay, then what do you say: one last time going out on pussy hunt with the boys?"

_____

Renjun realizes that this is not one of his proudest moments as he stands leaned against the bar. On the outside, he might look cool and relaxed (or at least that's what he strives for), but he's honestly close to being shit-faced and needs the bar for not losing his balance. Admittedly, it's been some time since Renjun's last time out and he's been a bit nervous.

"This is great, huh?" Chenle says next to him, cool as ever as he leans his back against the bar, keeping his balance with only his forearms. Renjun envies him.

"Totally," Renjun retorts sarcastically, but Chenle doesn't seem to pick up on it.

His other friends had already abandoned him, always with a dirty grin as they got dragged away by a pretty girl. Renjun just can't get behind this whole thing of hook-up culture. Why would you want that when you could- never mind, Renjun understands why people hook up. He really shouldn't judge other people when he's the one who signed up for a love experiment.

"So I heard this is going to be your last time going out with us?" Chenle asks, then takes a sip from his beer bottle. Renjun likes hanging out with Chenle, but the younger's busy schedule doesn't offer much time for friend activities. Chenle is generally laid back and doesn't judge others. Well, not really, he just likes to tease, but generally speaking, he is a good person to open up to.

"Yeah," Renjun answers shortly, not in the right state for a long conversation.

"Because of that love app?" Chenle asks, and Renjun briefly looks over at him to see a teasing smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Yeah," Renjun repeats in defeat.

"I think it's cool," Chenle says, corners of his mouth turning downwards making him look impressed, but Renjun doesn't seem convinced. "You know, real love. It's rare these days, I think it's admirable. Really."

"Thank you," Renjun says, a gentle smile on his lips. "Hyuck's been teasing me a lot for it, but I just.. don't like this hook-up culture. I want to settle down."

"I get you, man." Chenle nods, clinking his beer bottle with Renjun's glass that contains the last few drops of a cocktail, then empties his bottle. As if on command, a girl leans against the bar next to him, whispers something into his ear while tugging at his sleeve. A grin forms on Chenle's face before he turns to Renjun.

"Sorry, gotta go. She says she needs Daddy." Chenle winks at Renjun who gives him a combination of a genuine chuckle and an awkward smile in return, then waves at Chenle's figure getting dragged towards the restrooms.

Renjun sighs, then his eyes scan the crowd. It's stuffy, the fog machine on a too high setting making it hard to even make out faces. It also feels hot, no wonder considering the amount of bodies dancing and sweating to the sound of the music, and the entire atmosphere feels too uncomfortable to find someone he could- sleep with. All of his friends are gone anyway, there's no way they could check if he got with someone or not. Sighing once again in defeat, Renjun decides to call it a night. He steadies himself, then tumbles over to the door, pushing it open to be hit by cool air. He immediately feels like he's drank 2 glasses of alcohol less than he actually did.

"Cigarette?"

_____

"This is not something I want to brag about," Renjun says the noon after, his butt placed on a chair in Donghyuck and Jaemin's man cave. It's actually just their shared home, but judging by the looks and smell of it, Renjun cannot not call it a man cave.

"Couldn't get it up?" Jaemin asks, an understanding nod moving his head. The younger looks messed up, respectfully, his hair tousled and eyes still not completely adjusted to being awake, the size of the cup of coffee in his hands an indicator of how he's feeling right now. Donghyuck really doesn't look any better, his body leaned over the table with his forearms supporting his weight.

"What? No!" Renjun shakes his head with a frown. He really loves his friends, but sometimes he wonders why he's even friends with them.

"Did you puke on her?" Donghyuck covers his mouth with his hand. Yeah, Renjun wonders in times like these.

"No."

"Did she puke on you?"

"No! There was no vomit involved," Renjun explains, eyes widened in alarm. This conversation slowly but surely makes him wonder how his friends' hook-ups tend to go... not that he wants to know, considering all this talk about throwing up.

"Then why are you not sharing every single detail?" Jaemin grins, scooting his chair closer to Renjun until he's uncomfortably pressed up against his cheek, reeking like coffee and sleep.

"Because..." Renjun frowns in defeat. "Because she was gone this morning."

"And? What, are your balls itchy?" Donghyuck raises his brows.

"What? Why would my balls be itchy?" Renjun whines, finally peeling his cheek away from Jaemin. "She didn't give me an STD, nor an UTI. W-we used a condom, I think."

"You think?" Donghyuck laughs, straightening his back from being leaned over the table for too long. "Did our Renjunnie hit it raw?"

"Honestly, I don't know why we're talking about this?"

"Did her pussy grip you too tightly to pull out?" Jaemin asks, nodding understandingly while padding his shoulder, "happens to the best of us."

"You're a maker, Renjun," Donghyuck adds.

"First of all, I don't know what that means. Second of all: the sex was fine! Great even-" Renjun tries to defend himself and his hook-up, even though he's not entirely sure why, considering she, well, left without a trace.

"Did she smell good?"

"What, her vagina?"

"Everything."

"Uh- yes? She used perfume, and everything else smelled healthy, I guess. But what I'm trying to say is-"

"Jaemin you bastard! You really have a problem, fucking panty sniffer!" Donghyuck laughs loudly, making Renjun instantly aware of his own hangover.

"Sue me," Jaemin leans back grinning, hands coming up in faux defense.

"It bothers me that she snuck out without even saying anything!" Renjun shouts, palm coming down on the table top with such force that both of his friends jump. It goes silent for a while until Donghyuck opens his mouth once again.

"I understand, man." He leans forwards, placing a palm on Renjun's shoulder. "That was really disrespectful of her." "Not cool," Jaemin chimes in supportively. "But look on the bright side: you'll never have to see her again."

"I guess that's true," Renjun mumbles, "but-"

"But?"

Hesitantly, Renjun looks into Jaemin's face, then into Donghyuck's. "It was really good."

Chaos breaks loose, both of them cheering loudly. Donghyuck begins laughing until his knees hit the floor – an impressive action considering the amount of alcohol his system has to fight – and even Renjun manages to crack a smile.

_____

"Jun, you might wanna see this," Donghyuck proposes hesitantly from the other room. Renjun, already annoyed about having to make his way all over to the living room and abandoning his brewing tea, sighs. What in the world could be important enough to summon him from the kitchen?

"Can't it wait?"

"Believe me when I say you might wanna see this."

Renjun aggressively throws his hands in the air for no one to see, he can't live in peace for even a second with this guy. Still, he stomps over, standing in the door frame with furrowed brows and crossed arms. "I swear if this is some stupid shit again-"

"It's your dating app."

Renjun rolls his eyes, "they've been sending useless messages for the past four months, I don't fucking care."

"It says they found a match." Donghyuck finally looks up from Renjun's phone, eyes wide and mouth shaped into an 'o' form. Renjun's own eyes bulge out at the preposition. "What?!"

He stumbles over, ripping the device from Donghyuck's fingers and holds it close to his face. Indeed, there's the notification. They found them. They found someone!

"Man you should really get your eyes checked if this is how-"

"Shut the fuck up, I'm the happiest man alive!" Renjun beams, smacking Donghyuck in the back of his head without lifting his gaze from the screen. Donghyuck mewls, and it sounds a little too much like a moan, but everybody knows Donghyuck is a little pain slut, so Renjun pays him no mind.

Renjun instead klicks on the notification, the application he hasn't visited in over half a year popping up slowly. There it is. The moment Renjun had anticipated for such a long time. He's a little disappointed that he can't visit this person's profile or anything, but he quickly forgets about it as his eyes land on a button that spells: 'send an invitation'.

"Hyuck, you have to go," Renjun announces, causing Donghyuck to lift his head, gaze drifting away from his own phone screen to look at Renjun perplexed.

"Eh?"

"Leave! I have to get ready," Renjun whines, peeling Donghyuck off of his couch by his wrist. Donghyuck complies balky, but lets himself get pushed out of the front door that Renjun closes in his face immediately, then rushes into the bathroom.

The invitation was sent for tonight, 8 pm. That means he has four hours to get himself and this shit hole he calls his home ready, and the task seems nearly impossible. That is until he finds himself, embarrassingly out of breath, ruffling his hair one last time in front of the mirror by the front door before the doorbell rings. He made it just in time.

His hands shake as he presses the button that opens the door, and a little harder even as he grips the handle to open the door to his apartment.

"Get a grip," he tells himself quietly, then puts on a smile as he listens to the footsteps climbing the staircases. His heart beats rapidly against his ribcage as his eyes focus on where is soulmate is going to appear in the next few seconds.

There, a foot comes into sight, followed by...

"You?!"

Silence.

"Hi?"

"I'm gonna need a minute-"

After splashing cold water in his face in the bathroom and pulling himself together, Renjun comes back to find you sitting on his couch, looking a little nervous, but generally contained and not as bothered by this disaster as Renjun. Sitting down, Renjun watches the arms move slowly over the face of his antique clock that with every passing second omits an obnoxiously loud ticking sound that is only overshadowed by the thick tension hanging in the air. Every once in a while, his gaze traces your form on the farthest end of Renjun's couch, staring blankly at the wall.

"Why did you sneak out?" Renjun puts his thoughts into words, eyebrows scrunched together in a mixture of anger and disappointment.

"It was just a hook-up," you turn your head to whine at him, "I don't know why you're making a big deal out of this?"

"Because it-" Renjun starts, but then decides that he'd much rather not appear pathetic in front of you for moaning about that being his last sexual encounter before formally agreeing to wait for the one.

"Alright," you sigh after a while, "I'm sorry, alright?"

Renjun clears his throat and nods, "okay. Thank you."

"I'd much rather talk about the important things right now," you say, turning your entire body to sit cross-legged on the couch facing Renjun. You take a deep breath before opening your mouth again. "I'm just going to say what everyone here is thinking: the app obviously made a mistake."

Renjun's eyebrows fly upwards as he blinks once, very slowly, "excuse me?"

"Yeah. I mean, no offense, but you're obviously a softie! And I like tall men,-"

"I don't think I'm getting this right, you fucked me before?!"

"Yeah, it was fine for a night, but-"

"And why am I a softie- or, first of all, why is that bad? We both did the experiment, we're both looking for a perfect match, or am I wrong?" Renjun did not even notice getting up from his place on the sofa, or when he started pointing an accusing finger at you.

"I don't know, you take it so serious-"

"And you're being a real bitch right now." Renjun furrows his brows even further as you get up as well to stand right in front of him, your pointer finger pushing into his chest.

"I do not appreciate you calling me that."

"I have done nothing wrong, I cleaned this whole place, and even when I realized that it had to be you, of all people, I was willing to work with it, but right now, I just want to..."

Renjun realizes how close you are to him right now, he can smell your perfume, the same scent you'd worn the other night. Even if it was whole while ago, he still remembers the dusty note that now once again tickles his nostrils, immediately taking him back to that night.

"...kiss you."

Renjun hasn't even closed his mouth before your lips press against his, your passion wild and untamed as your bodies press closer, your hands immediately going to his hair, gently pulling so it stings at his scalp as Renjun's own hands roam over your form to settle on your waist and ass.

His head is clouded, his mind hazy with the feeling of you against him. He's a little embarrassed of your affect on him, immediately growing hard in his pants as soon as you hump yourself against him, content sighs flowing from his mouth into yours.

It's hectic, hands touching everywhere at once all of a sudden, fingers clutching clothing in an attempt to rid the other of them, limbs tangling as Renjun moves the both of you to the nearby bedroom.

You somehow manage to peel yourselves out of your clothes, Renjun can feel how wet you are for him, and though he's so focused on only you, he can't help but comment spitefully, "you prefer tall men, huh?"

"Fuck you," you gasp before kissing him again, and Renjun does not quite know how to feel about this, maybe it's bad, maybe it's good, but he assumes that this type of behavior should not make his tummy fill with butterflies. It still does.

Renjun lines himself up with your hole, then thrusts forward. He doesn't take his time to prep you like last time, he finds that if you want to act like a bitch, you should be treated like one. He's also very perplexed that he's thinking like this, he never has, but he guesses you bring this side out in him.

You cry out in pure bliss as he stretches your walls that are struggling to take his size, your eyes rolling back at the overwhelming pleasure. Renjun's thrusts are quick and hard, ramming his tip against your spot in a way that makes you see stars and your thighs shiver around his waist.

Your orgasm approaches fast, almost embarrassingly fast considering you made such a fuss earlier, Renjun admits to himself, feeling proud as he pushes you over the edge with ease. The moans tumbling from your lips are nothing short of pornographic, and Renjun does not have it in him to shut you up for the sake of his neighbors.

Instead, he pulls out, then quickly replaces his cock with his fingers, pressing them upwards repeatedly to tickle another quick high out of you. His eyes are on you the entire time while yours are closed, assumingely overwhelmed with how good he's making you feel.

Once you writhe from overstimulation, Renjun removes his fingers as well, licking a fat stripe over your cunt before turning you around and pressing your face into the sheets.

"I'll show you how much of a softie I can be," he grunts before pushing in once again, his hand pressing against the back of your head as he crashes his hips into yours with such force that the bed frame penetrates imprints into his wall. Your moans are muffled, and Renjun decides that he'd much rather have his neighbors hear how good of a fuck he is, so he grabs a fistful of your hair and yanks you up.

"Oh God," you whine, back arching beautifully to take even more of him, and Renjun suppresses a coy grin at the fact that he's able to destroy you that easily.

"Hm? Not so soft now, huh?"

"I'm gonna cum again-" you announce, hands gripping the sheets as you try to ground yourself, to just take and take and take what Renjun gives you, and soon after he can feel you clench around him as another orgasm takes over you, leaving you weak and shaky.

"Too much?"

You shake your head, but Renjun pulls out nevertheless. "Get on your knees, I want you to suck me off."

Never in his life has Renjun seen someone hurry off a bed so eagerly. You open your mouth compliantly, like a well trained slut, and Renjun can simply push his cock between your lips and fuck your mouth. "Tap my leg when I should stop."

You nod quickly, then relax your jaw for him to use you. Renjun loves this sight of you. He remembers what you looked like when you came over, with pretty makeup and perfectly styled hair – and now everything's ruined, your hair messy and tangled, your makeup smudged by a mixture of tears and spit. Renjun loves how hazily your eyelids flutter as you try to look up at him, eyes seemingly focussing and un-focussing, more tears welling up in your eyes before they trickle down your cheeks, spit coating your chin as you gag a little.

Renjun believes he could get used to this.

_____

The sun tickling the tip of his nose is what wakes him up the next morning. With a groan, he tries to adjust his eyes to the bright light shining into his bedroom – the downside of having a bedroom that faces east. Once he realizes where he is, the memories of last night come flying back to him. He has to find his arms to be much emptier than when he went to bed the night before. He sighs, a hand coming up to run over his face. Honestly, he didn't even have to check the rest of his home to know that you snuck out again.

A mug filled with coffee in hand, Renjun lets out a shaky sigh. It stings, he's not going to lie, but maybe you have your reasons, maybe something came up, maybe you need time to think. Or maybe you just hate him and only want to use his desperate state of romanticism and body for your selfish nature.

This assumption is neither proven to be false nor correct when his doorbell rings a couple of months later. In the meantime, Renjun had done nothing but sulk, try to pull himself together, work non-stop to get you out of his mind, realized it's not working and went back to sulking, then the cycle repeated itself. He hadn't even updated his friends about the encounter for a lack of energy, basically. His apartment is a mess, empty to half-empty boxes of takeout littered all over the place, bottles with a last sip left left and right that Renjun trips over every few hours only to curse loudly and do nothing to clean them up afterwards. Basically, he's living like Donghyuck and Jaemin right now.

His feet drag him to the door. "Hello?"

"They're threatening me."

Renjun, without even having heard it twice through the speaker, recognizes your voice immediately. And before he knows it, his finger presses the button that opens the door with a buzzing sound. He curses at himself, panic arising as he listens to your heavy footsteps climbing up the stairs to his apartment. Once you step into sight, Renjun loses his ability to talk. Why do you have to look gorgeous? Why does he want to get on his knees and eat you out immediately? Why is he so weak?

You take fast steps and invite yourself into Renjun's home as he does nothing but take a few careful steps back. You then lock the door as you check the hallway behind the door through the peephole for any potential threats.

"Who?" Renjun finally gets out.

"The app developers," you mumble before retrieving from the door.

"Why?"

"They know I left, now they keep threatening me."

"I doubt that," Renjun frowns.

"Look!" You push your phone into his hands. Renjun curiously scans the last notifications the app sent you.

How did it go? Did you find your soulmate with us? Please rate us in the app store.

Hey! We found your soulmate! Now all you need to do is rate this experience.

Your soulmate is happy to have you. Thank you for working with us, please leave a rating in the app store.

Rate your love experience now!

Renjun snorts.

"What?" You watch him with furrowed brows and crossed arms.

"These are hardly threats."

"They just keep coming, this has to be a threat. Haven't you gotten any?"

"I don't know, I don't have the app anymore," Renjun mumbles.

"Right..." you say, finally taking a first look around the place. "And what happened here?"

"Stop judging me!" Renjun turns his back to you while crossing his arms. Of course he hadn't had the time to deep clean his apartment when he was busy sulking and writhing in self-pity for the past months. And, to be fair, it was all your fault!

"Alright, maybe they're not threats, per-se. They still made me feel bad..."

"Oh?" Renjun turns back around, eyebrows raised. "It has a heart?"

"Ha-ha," you deadpan, but Renjun can't suppress a smile as he makes his way over to the kitchen to grab himself something to drink, and you kicking your shoes off, and then following him on track like a lost puppy.

Renjun opens the fridge and pours himself a glass of the fruity water he's prepared a few hours ago (not because he felt like it, only because he was afraid the remaining fruit his mom brought over because she coincidentally happened to be in town a few days ago would go bad if he didn't use them). He lifts the glass to his lips and takes a refreshing sip.

You watch him set the glass down on the counter. "Aren't you going to ask me if I want something?"

With a hint of playfulness that he does not want to give away under any circumstances, Renjun scoffs, "yeah, as if I'm going to be nice to you after the stunt you pulled. Twice." Renjun holds up two of his fingers to highlight his words.

Your brows furrow as you open your mouth to complain, but you must have realized he's right, so you shut it again, turning into a cute pout instead. "I'm sorry. It's just- it's hard-" You give up and press your lips together tightly. "Can we- start over?"

"Oh? From what point?" Renjun raises his brows, lifting his hand to count with his fingers, "when you abandoned me the first time? When you insulted me? Or when I fucked you so good you couldn't stop drooling on the sheets?" He smiles in victory at your shocked expression. "To which I could also add: the first or the second time." He wiggles two fingers in front of your face with a smug smirk.

"I wish I could say this behavior of yours irritates me to the point where I just want to give up, but you're kind of hot looking all messed up and heart-broken because of me while sporting that victorious grin," you say and step towards him.

"Ah, really?" Renjun's confident shell starts to crumble.

"Why don't we start from the beginning?" You stop right in front of him, and Renjun has to press his ass against the counter to keep that little distance that allows him to breathe. Amused, the corner of your mouth twitches, then you extend your hand as your gaze bores into his.

"Hi, my name is ____ and I would love to suck your cock."

Renjun hates the way his breath hitches as he carefully shakes your hand for a reason he is not aware of. "I-I'm Renjun," he simply says, and the playful smirk on your face widens as you pull your hand out of his to lay atop of the waistband of his sweatpants. Renjun hates it even more that he feels his blood that just milliseconds ago thumbed through his ears now rushing downwards awakening his cock.

"Do you want me to suck you off?" Your voice is bittersweet as you bat your lashes at Renjun who gulps before breathing out a "yeah".

You smile, fingers untying his sweatpants before you push your hand inside to feel him up. "So hard, all for me? What a good boy you are, Renjun."

Renjun bites down on his lip, face contorting in pleasure as he feels you feel him up and down, his hips push forward involuntarily. Why do you have to be like this? Why can't you just be- less enticing, less hot, less able to turn his brain to complete mush every time he sees you? Renjun knows where this is going, you're going to give him the best, most amazing, jaw-dropping, eye-rolling, toe-curling head of his life, and then you're going to walk out that door as if there aren't still drops of Renjun's cum trickling down your esophagus.

Just as your hands leave the inside of his pants to pull them down his legs, Renjun grabs ahold of your wrists. Your eyes widen in surprise.

"No," Renjun catches your gaze that holds a whole lot of insecurities in them, or so he assumes. "I am not letting you touch me until I know you won't leave me again."

The look in your eyes tells him that something about this interaction hit a nerve very deep down, so he tries to lighten the mood with a light joke and a careful smile. "At least take me out on a date before you use me."

Jackpot, he realizes, as you scoff and pull your wrists from his grasp. "Alrighty then, what do you want to eat?"

_____

The wideness of his eyes expands exponentially with every word you tell the guy behind the counter of the nearest Subway who prepares your sandwich. He could mouth along your order because, even up until the sauce, it's identical with his. Hence, all he tells the guy once he's finished is "the same". You seem not to notice – or care – and the quick walk back home is quiet despite the tornados of thoughts winding through Renjun's mind. Is this how the app worked? Match people with similar taste in food? Though he doesn't remember putting his Subway order in when submitting his forms.

Arriving at home, you ask Renjun to put on a show to watch while eating, and when he plays his all time favorite, Modern Family, you announce that that's your favorite as well.

Renjun watches, half in awe and half scared for his life, as you practically inhale the foot-long sandwich in front of his eyes, and he feels his heart thumb just a little faster seeing you all domestic like this; not dolled up, and not with his cum dripping from some part of your body, just you being you. Apparently, he likes you more than he likes to admit, he's afraid.

"I think I'm going to delete that app as well," you announce as you wipe the remaining sauce and crumbs from the corners of your mouth.

"How so?"

"I have you now, don't I?" You shrug, placing your plate on the coffee table in front of the couch. Renjun's heart jumps at your words, then sighs and happily sinks deeper into the comfort of his chest.

"Does that mean- I mean-" But he is shushed by your finger pressing against his lips, that makes his eyes widen.

"Shh, baby boy, don't ruin it." You say, then get up.

"Where are you going?"

"Will you calm down? I just want to pee!" You whine, then march off towards his bathroom, and Renjun wants to punch himself in the face for watching you go with a smitten gaze, but he can't help staring. You're just too gorgeous. He loves the way you're so relaxed and funny, sighing lovingly as he admires your beauty coming back from the restroom to sit down next to him with a thud and a weirded out expression on your face.

"Why are you looking like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like I just took your virginity in a field of dandelions."

"I am not!"

"Whatever. Can we fuck now?"

The little hearts circling around Renjun's heart – metaphorically – shatter. "Are you being serious?"

"I hate to admit this too, but you're pretty good at what you're doing."

"I am more than just a toy for you to use!" Renjun argues, setting his plate down on the coffee table next to yours. Anger is visibly written all over his face, and you seem to finally get the hint that he's serious about this.

"Alright, then. What do you wanna do instead? Cuddle?!" You suggest, and although it does not seem like this is a legitimate offer, Renjun takes it.

"Yeah, for example!"

And that's how your back ends up pressed to his front as you watch TV, not without a last roll of your eyes, of course, and while Renjun affectionately plays with your hair, he has time to relish in the feeling of being loved for the first time since forever, even if he had to threaten you with deprivation of sex. Later, you even fall asleep in his arms, in his bed, and when he wakes up the next morning, you are snoring soundly besides him.

_____

"Do you want to meet my friends?" Renjun asks casually over the steam evaporating from the hot coffee mugs on the breakfast table. You have half a Baozi in your mouth, and Renjun can only guess your next words as they come out.

"What? Why? Are we getting married?" He assumes you say.

"No, I just thought, you know, since things were getting serious-"

"We are?!" You muffle with wide eyes.

Over the past days that you'd spent at Renjun's place without missing a single day (except for the 4 hours when you went to get your stuff... 4 hours that drove Renjun insane with fear that you wouldn't return), Renjun kind of started to wonder what it is that you're doing for a living that you can just disappear like that without anyone wondering where you are, but he noticed that you do not like to talk much about yourself. All he knows that your interests and taste are, quite frankly, scarily similar to his own. He assumes that you are just careful when it comes to opening up to people, so he is more than thrilled when he finds you next to him every single morning and decides that there will be a time and place for you to bond over deep talk.

"Calm down, I didn't mean it like that. It's just that we've been hanging out a lot and I think it would be... fun?" Renjun suggests carefully. A weight lifts off his heart as your wide eyes shrink back to their normal size and you take your time to chew and swallow before your answer.

"Okay." And then you stuff the other half of the steamed bun into your mouth.

"Great! I'll text them!"

"Today?!"

"We really have to stop talking about this while we eat."

"It's okay, do it whenever, honestly." But only muffled sounds and a few crumbs come out.

"What?"

You roll your eyes dramatically, then point yourself.

"You?"

You nod, then point to Renjun. "Me?"

Then you squiggle your pointer and forefinger in a way that resembles a pair of legs – "go?" – you nod, then point downwards – "here?" – you shake your head – "today?" – you nod frantically and press your pointer finger to your thumb – "okay?"

You finally swallow. "Man, I said it's okay if we go today."

"That was absolutely unnecessary. Now go get ready, I'll text them."

_____

"Where is your other half?"

"Probably inside of someone," Donghyuck says about the lack of Jaemin at the table, but his eyes are intensely focused on you. You on the other hand seem to have found great interest in your fingernails and refuse to take your eyes off of them. "Yo, is she shy or something?"

"I'm not," you say, your eyes snapping up to gaze at Donghyuck who looks a little taken aback. You smile sweetly, then reach over the table to shake his hand. "I'm sorry, I was just a little distracted. Hey, I'm the girl that Renjun fucks."

Renjun chokes on his own spit, and Donghyuck snorts loudly. You lean against the backrest of the McDonald's seat and grab Renjun's hand to hold. Renjun, finally recovered from his near-death-experience, can't believe what's happening as his eyes zone in to where your fingers intertwine with his. It even makes him miss that that was a complete lie since the no-sex-until-i-know-you-won't-leave-thing is still on the table.

"So, how is he? In bed, I mean?" Donghyuck folds his hands beneath his chin and leans forward interestedly.

"Oh, he's great, really! He doesn't look like it, but he has a lot of stamina. And, to be fair, he's not the biggest, but it gets the job done nicely, I especially love it when he-"

"Can we not talk about my dick in a McDonald's?! Please?!"

"Oop, looks like we hit a sore spot-" Donghyuck remarks.

"I am not insecure about- you know what? Fuck you. Go get the food, it's ready," Renjun snaps and pushes the receipt with the pick up number on it into Donghyuck's hand who throws you another knowing look before strolling off to get the food.

"I will not apologize for-"

"You're holding my hand," Renjun states.

"What?" Your eyebrows contort in confusion.

"My hand, you're holding it," Renjun says, lifting both of your hands into your line of sight to prove his point.

"Yeah, so?"

"I like that."

A genuine smile spreads over your face and you bite your lip, maybe to suppress it, but Renjun saw it, and look down at your lap. Donghyuck appears again, tray in hand, and Renjun would've missed your quiet whisper of "he likes that" if his entire world wasn't revolving around you right now.

"What are we talking about?" Donghyuck grins as he slides back onto his seat, immediately pulling a fry out of the box and dunking it in his milkshake. Renjun, still in awe that you're holding his hand, immediately notices how your face contorts in disgust.

"Why the fuck are you doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Dipping your fry."

Renjun watches with heart-shaped eyes how Donghyuck's mouth opens and closes for a lack of a proper response, because – shit – that is exactly what he's been thinking for the past five years.

"Because I like it?"

"Alright," you shrug, then attend to your cheeseburger. Renjun mirrors your action, lifting the top half of the bun to peel the single slice of pickle off the surface before sticking the burger back together, not noticing how you do the exact same thing until Donghyuck points it out.

"So? That's what it's like when you found a match. Another great advantage is having only one partner whom you engage in sexual activities with. Ah, by the way, how is your itchy sack?"

"Good one, babe," you compliment as Donghyuck's face falls onto his BigMac, and Renjun could not feel any better at that exact moment.

"Sorry I'm late!" The voice of no other than Na Jaemin appears behind Renjun only to reveal said man seconds later as he flops down next to Donghyuck, forcing him to squeeze further against the wall. Donghyuck complains, but no one pays him any mind.

A heavy grin adorns Jaemin's face, an expression Renjun's grown to know like the back of his own hand over the past years. Jaemin's post orgasm glow is so bright and blinding that Renjun's sure he must have just gotten a blowjob in the McDonald's bathroom. His tongue slurps parts of his McFlurry off his spoon. Renjun watches as Jaemin's gaze runs over to you, and as if someone's flipped a switch inside him, Jaemin's smile drops. If the sudden silence wasn't so ear numbing, one would've heard it smash to the ground and shatter into pieces. Even Donghyuck has stopped munching on his food to scan the situation, the end of a fry sticking out from between his lips.

Renjun's heart stops, then starts thumping up his throat as he slowly turns his head towards you, and this exact process repeats itself as he sees how pale you've gotten. Your eyes are trained on Jaemin, and Renjun can see you gulp once before you suddenly get up, the legs of the chair disgustingly scratching over the floor, and leave the fast food restaurant with hurried steps.

Despite desperately wanting to know what the fuck just happened, Renjun hastily gets up to run after you, calling out your name, once, twice, but when he reaches the doors, panting breath creating soft clouds in the cool air, you're out of sight.

_____

Ah, what a great morning. That is what Renjun would have thought if it was opposite day. He is devastated. You are nowhere to be found, the apartment empty since he returned and he still regrets not asking for your number sometime during the past days, though there was no need since you'd spend all your time at his place anyway. But now you're not. You're gone, and Jaemin refuses to let him in on what exactly happened between the two of you that made you leave the place in a hurry, only for Renjun to find Jaemin gone as well as soon as he returned. He only found Donghyuck sitting at the table, dragging his last fry through the milkshake. They finished their meal in silence.

As the doorbell rings, Renjun falls off the couch, scrambles up and runs to answer the door. It's not you, though, it's Donghyuck, who for once decided to be a good friend and check in on Renjun, even though the latter would rather just lie down in a puddle of his own tears, and sob.

"I'm sorry, man," Donghyuck says, dragging Renjun into his arms for comfort. Renjun simply sighs. The warmth of Donghyuck's hug does actually help ease some of the tension in his heart, and when they part, Renjun invites Donghyuck in for some tea.

"Do you know what happened?" Renjun asks as he hands Donghyuck his mug.

"Not a clue. Jaemin hasn't even been home. I have some theories, though." Donghyuck takes a sip and curses after burning his tongue.

"That are?" Renjun is actually relieved to have someone else break their brain over this situation that is not him.

"Number one: Jaemin is her lost brother."

Renjun blinks.

"Number two: Jaemin fucked her mother and destroyed her parent's marriage."

Renjun raises an eyebrow.

"Okay, number three: Jaemin fucked her mother and is her father."

Renjun raises a hand to slap him.

"Okay, okay! Sorry. Number four, and this actually goes two ways. Four point one: They fucked and she is the one girl that broke Jaemin's heart and made him this way."

Renjun does not like the sound of that at all.

"Four point two: They fucked and Jaemin broke her heart and that's why she can't commit."

"I hate all of your theories with my entire being," Renjun admits, "Do you have one that does not mean something bad?"

"Um..." Donghyuck thinks for a while that, admittedly, lasts too long for Renjun to relax, "Jaemin once saved her cat and she never got the chance to thank him because- he fucked her mom- I'M SORRY that's all I can think of."

Renjun sighs. "I don't know. I just wish she would care about me enough to just talk to me, you know?"

"I don't think that's the problem," Donghyuck suggests and Renjun looks away from his steaming mug and at Donghyuck instead. "I think she cares about you a lot, but there seems to be some sort of past trauma that makes it hard for her. I mean, I'm not a specialist since you" – a glaring Donghyuck points an accusing finger at Renjun – "refuse to update me about every little thing like I asked you to, but I don't think this has as much to do with you as you think."

"I've never thought about it that way," Renjun admits, and a little weight drops off his heart at the fact that he is possibly not at fault, and neither are you. "Thank you, Hyuck, honestly."

"No biggie." Donghyuck shrugs with a smug smirk. "You can pay me back in kind."

"What do you mean?"

"A smooch." Donghyuck puckers his lips, but at the same time, the doorbell rings a second time that day, causing Renjun to jump and run towards the obnoxious sound. This time, it really is you.

"Can we talk?" You ask as you stand in his doorway, and Renjun can't do anything but blink in awe because, honestly? He thought he'd never see you again.

"Um, not to be rude, but we're kind of in the middle of something here," Donghyuck says with his lips still puckered for Renjun to kiss. Renjun, without taking his eyes off of you in case you'd vaporize once he looked away for even a split second, ushers Donghyuck to leave since, "he was on his way out, actually."

Not without throwing a little tantrum, Donghyuck lets himself get pushed out of Renjun's apartment. Renjun whispers another 'thank you' and blows him a kiss before closing the door in Donghyuck's face.

_____

"I didn't know you started smoking again," Renjun comments as you sit on his sad excuse of a balcony.

"This is for the vibe," you say, and blow the smoke into the air. "And maybe I had a drink."

"Okay."

Silence.

"This is really scary for me," you admit, and Renjun assumes that you're talking about opening up.

"You can trust me, I'm not going anywhere," Renjun assures, placing a careful arm around your waist and a kiss to your temple.

"Jaemin was my first love."

Renjun gulps. He feels a little part of his heart break off and shatter against his ribcage, leaving a stinging pain behind. Great, so you know Jaemin, and not only that, he happened to be the first one you've ever let into your heart. Renjun assumes that it's been a couple of years since then, but knowing Jaemin, he couldn't possibly be the best first love, or a good one even. Don't get him wrong, he dearly loves Jaemin – in a platonic way – but the way he treats girls is not something he should be as proud of as he is. But maybe he hasn't always been like this. Maybe you were the one to make him like this.

"Go on," Renjun finally coughs out. His hands feel a little shaky, maybe even a little sweaty, and he feels the need to wrap them around the metal railing separating him from free falling to his death.

"It was back in school. I fell for him immediately. He made me feel like the only girl in the world."

Renjun dares to look over at you to watch you sigh, dragging on your cigarette once again. You look incredibly pained, and as much as he wants you to shut up because it seems to be hurting not only him, but you as well, he needs to know.

"Well, that was until he took my virginity. Never saw him again after that until," you pause, clear your throat and take a deep breath and continue pressed with your eyes closed, "until today."

Renjun takes a minute to calm down his mind from running thoughts on overspeed. "I'm- so sorry that happened to you. I wish I could say he's not like that anymore, but... well, his moral compass enhanced a little... um..." Renjun removes his hands from the railing, wiping them on his jeans, then turns to you. "Look, I can see why you wouldn't want to hang out w-"

"No," you interrupt him, dragging on your cigarette once more before carelessly flicking the bud onto the streets below, then you turn to him, take a careful step forward and take his hands into yours. "I trust you. I want you to be the right one. I want you to break this pattern, I want you to change my future."

Renjun does not know how to respond. There's a part of him that wants to pay Jaemin a visit and punch him, but he knows better than to start a physical fight with Na Jaemin, the local gym's best customer. And besides, what would it matter? It's not like violence would change anything. "May I hug you?"

You nod, and Renjun wraps his arms around you to pull you into his chest. His chin rests in the crook of your neck, breathing in the sweet scent of your shampoo, and he is not sure whether it's a good thing that he falls for you more and more every second he spends with you.

_____

Renjun decided that it would be best not to see Jaemin for some time, mostly in favor of his own well being considering that Jaemin would dominate him if it ever came to a physical confrontation. Instead, he focuses his energy on making you feel loved and protected, and makes sure he never gives you the impression of leaving you. He mostly enjoys the quiet nights with you, creating as much physical contact as possible without being uncomfortable, and freely talking into the rise of the sun.

Renjun learned that it's only been you and your mom, most of the time, since your dad cheated on her when you were still a child. Then, as soon as you turned eighteen and got your first real job, your mother left the country. Not without saying goodbye, but apparently, she made it clear that she didn't want to stay in contact. Ever since, it's only been you. You'd always been by yourself, having to care for yourself, working hard to make enough money to be able to afford rent and food. In a way, you had raised yourself to be independent, and your past encounter with Jaemin must have just intensified your bias not to trust men after what your father did to your mother.

Still, that's all Renjun knows about you. And after 3 months of living together, he kind of wishes to know where you live – well, when you're not living with him – what you do for a job, if you have any friends for him to meet, but all he knows is your zodiac sign. Although, he calms himself down by telling himself that you need time to build up trust. After everything that's happened to you, Renjun is the last person wanting to pressure you.

It's only that one particular conversation with his friend Donghyuck he doesn't seem to be able to let go.

"How long have you been living together?" Donghyuck asked as he ripped a small piece off of the bread in his hand to throw it into the pile of ducks gathered in front of them at the pond at the local park. Donghyuck loves to go there to feed the ducks, and Renjun almost found it cute until Donghyuck told him the real reason behind his regular visits to feed the ducks at the pond: picking up girls.

Donghyuck swears that this is the perfect way to get a "chick" (his words, not Renjun's) to fall for you. Either they love this sweet, domestic side of a man who is soft enough to go feed ducks in his spare time which inevitably makes him boyfriend material, or they're there with their kids and- Renjun can't recall how this was different from the first thing. He only remembers thinking that Donghyuck has a weird obsession with older women, and the freudian curiosity in Renjun kind of pushes him to find out more about what that's about. Maybe another time.

"Almost three months," Renjun smiled widely, ready to spill information about all the great memories he had made with you over the past 11 weeks, like when he accidentally sent the pizza delivery guy to the wrong address or when the both of you giggled too loudly at a YouTube video until his downstairs neighbor knocked at his door and begged for you to shut up (admittedly, there's not much going on), but Donghyuck interrupted him with his hand hitting Renjun square in his solar plexus.

"Three months?! Woah, get it champ! How often do you do it?" Donghyuck asked, completely ignoring the way Renjun had to fight not to double over and slide face forward into the pond.

"We-" Renjun coughed and was finally able to stand up straight again. "We actually don't have sex at all."

In hindsight, Renjun's knowledge of physics and anatomy make him doubt the reaction he remembers, but he vividly recalls Donghyuck's eyes to drive out of his skull as he jumped about 3 meters into the air. Summarized: Donghyuck was a little surprised!

"Um, well, I didn't think it would hit you this early, but there are ways, man." Donghyuck patted Renjun's shoulder brotherly. "I still have a few pills at home if you want to try them. I get them from this one guy, and they're worth every penny, let me tell you-"

"I do not suffer from erectile disfunction," Renjun clarified and Donghyuck quickly shut his mouth, blinked a few times, then began to defend himself about how he doesn't need them to get hard, just to stay hard longer or whatever.

"Anyway," Renjun side-eyed Donghyuck as he finally stopped talking, "I just... don't want her to leave me again."

"Ah, that's how the land lies," Donghyuck grinned, "but buddy, it's been months, don't you miss it?"

"Not really," Renjun lied without cause.

"Don't you miss the way it feels?" Donghyuck leaned closer, warm breath tickling Renjun's ear and neck, his voice getting whiney and full of lust as he explained the warm, wet feeling of a-

"Okay, maybe I do!" Renjun said in defeat, holding onto Donghyuck's hands to stop them for making lewd gestures.

"Then there's nothing stopping you. Well, except for the fact that it's very weird how she just lives with you. Doesn't she have a job? Does she pay rent?" Donghyuck frowned at Renjun with raised eyebrows.

Renjun squinted his eyes at him, frowning as well. "Where is this coming from?!"

"I'm just saying, you should ask her about that." Donghyuck shrugged and poured the remaining bread crumbs from his paper bag onto the ground, causing ducks to zoom out of the water and gather around their feet.

"I don't want to pressure her. You know how hard it is for her to open up," Renjun reasoned, but Donghyuck seemed to be having ulterior motives, throwing a wink into the direction of a middle aged woman with a stroller. Renjun watched for a few moments as Donghyuck pressed his tongue into his cheek smugly, then shouted "just gave him some relationship advice while feeding the ducks", and how the woman chuckled and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, then decided he's seen enough.

Sadly, turning off one's ears had not been invented yet, Renjun thought as he stepped away after patting disinterested Donghyuck's shoulder as goodbye, still hearing Donghyuck ask her about the child's father, how come such a beautiful woman doesn't have a strong man at her side, and what she's going to be doing tonight.

_____

"Baby?" Renjun enters the living room to find you sitting in front of the couch on the carpet, carelessly browsing through a magazine with your playlist randomly playing tunes in the background.

"Hey!" Your eyes light up as you see him. Renjun sits down beside you, a slight smile on his face as he takes in how beautiful you look tonight, just like all nights.

"What are you up to?" He asks, curiously leaning forward to be able to look at the magazine as well.

"It's just a women's magazine, it's like fashion and make-up trends an stuff," you explain briefly still scanning through the pages before your eyes light up once again as you turn to look at Renjun.

"What?" Renjun chuckles nervously, but simultaneously loving the look on your face.

"Could I.. do your make-up?" You ask straightforwardly. Renjun's eyebrows shoot upwards in surprise, mouth shaping an 'o' as he looks up thinking about it briefly. He's never gotten his make-up done before, and although the thought had never occurred to him before, it does sound like a fun couple's activity to do together that could lead to excellent bonding time. Therefore, he smiles and nods at your request.

Renjun coos at how you get up to grab your make-up bag with a slight excited jump in your walk, then watches how you lean down to fish it out of your bag, gulping hard and averting his gaze as you so carelessly present your ass to him. The conversation with Donghyuck still playing in his mind, he realizes that, apart from wanting to know more about you, he really does miss being inside of you physically.

Before he knows it, you're back on the carpet next to him, opening your bag to reveal the endless depths of its contents, various pencils and brushes, tubes and bottles that Renjun knows close to nothing about.

"What do you want me to do?" You ask, and Renjun smiles contently.

"Whatever you want, I'm yours to play with," he confirms before realizing the ambiguous meaning of his words. He still means them, in both ways.

Although, you do not seem to be catching on, shuffling to sit in front of Renjun instead to have a better look at his handsome face. "Your skin is pretty, so let's skip foundation," you decide and Renjun's smile grows at the implied compliment. Instead, you brush his messy bangs out of his face to be able to get a better look at his eyes.

"Can I do your eyeliner?" You ask, gazing deeply into his eyes, and honestly, you could've asked him to jump out of the window and he'd respond with the same breathy 'yes' he did just now. Especially now after you've climbed into his lap for better access.

"Okay," you giggle, now a black pencil in your hand, "look up!"

Renjun does his best to follow your orders, but the eyeliner feels very foreign on his eyes, and as you ask him to look down next, he is met with your cleavage greeting him, and he has to concentrate on not popping a boner instead.

After a while, you lean back, admiring your work as Renjun blinks a few tears away.

"You look pretty," you admit, handing Renjun a little mirror to see for himself. And as he catches his own reflection, he must admit that you're right. He does look pretty, but honestly, he could've looked like trash right now and he'd still do this over and over again just to be close to you.

"Thank you, I agree!" He smiles, handing you the mirror back.

"How about lipstick next?" You suggest and Renjun's eyes immediately dart down to your lips, remembering the last time his own lips touched them for longer than a quick peck, and longing for that feeling. So instead of answering, he nods, trying his best to conceal his nervousness.

A lipstick in hand, you get comfortable on his lap again, seemingly either ignoring or not caring what your shuffling does to him, then attend to his lips. Renjun's now able to watch your face closely as you apply the tinted product onto his lips, falling in love with the way you look when you concentrate on something.

Your gentle fingers tap the lipstick onto his lips, spreading the color gently to create a faded look, but Renjun doesn't really care anymore. His eyes keep focussing on your lips, yearning to taste them again, and he feels like it's showing with the way he keeps leaning in closer.

His heart skips a beat as he looks up into your eyes again to see them already looking into his, and he doesn't even have to say anything before you close the gap in between your mouths and begin kissing him gently, leaving one, two, three kisses on his lips before drawing back to look into his eyes again.

No words are exchanged, it's just him who leans in this time, breathing in deeply through his nose as he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. He completely loses himself in you and the slow song playing in the background. Your lips feel heavenly, and Renjun admits that it's really been too long since the last time he got to taste them.

Your hands stroke over his body just as his do to yours, gentle moans fall from both of your lips as you carefully grind down against Renjun's prominent bulge. It doesn't take long for him to turn you around, gently laying you on your back to the soft carpet, caging you in with his arms and deeply gazing into your eyes. You strip each other of every piece of clothing, taking your sweet time to show the other how you feel, and as Renjun finally enters you, he feels like this is where he belongs.

_____

"Hyuck, I'm telling you, it was absolutely fantastic," Renjun beams, hands in the air metaphorically mimicking a large object to visualize how much fun he's had with you the night prior.

"I'm guessing the rule of premarital abstinence is off the table?" Donghyuck teases, face mockingly serious, though a brow sneaks its way upwards to hint at his playfulness. Renjun presses his lips together, hands sinking to the table.

"You are just jealous that woman in the park only wanted you to be her new babysitter," Renjun shoots back.

"That's what her mouth said, but do you know what her body said to me about thirty minutes later as I rammed my dick in her?" Donghyuck crosses his arms, pressing his tongue into his cheek smugly, and Renjun just stares blankly ahead, right through Donghyuck's insufferable ego as if it was see-through and not as solid as concrete. Donghyuck leans forwards, forearms holding his weight hovering over the tabletop.

"Ah, fuck, you're so big, Donghyuck. Please, d-don't tell my husband. H-he really can't find out that you're making m-me feel so much better than him, ugh, God, I wish you were the father of my children," Donghyuck moans, high pitched and fake like a porn star, and Renjun snorts, laughter that threatened to come out winning the battle against his muscles, and he's sure he spit on Donghyuck in the process. Payback.

"Sorry," Renjun says and doesn't mean it, "have you talked to your therapist about this 'Mommy'-thing?" Donghyuck sighs and rolls his eyes.

"It's not a 'Mommy'-thing. I don't want them to be my mom, I don't want them to pack me a lunch box and sing me a lullaby," Donghyuck explains.

"Then, what?" The corners of Renjun's mouth twitching downwards, threatening another wave of laughter to burst out with vigor.

"Older ladies know what they want in life. They went through labor and stuff and mostly already found a man, so when they want me, I feel good. Also, they know how to please a guy, you know?" Donghyuck says, and Renjun's eyes are about to pop out from the sole pressure of trying to keep his amusement from spitting Donghyuck in the face again.

"Alright, then, if my love life is so laughable, why don't you give me some insight on how great your girlfriend's cunt squeezes around your dick?" Donghyuck crosses his arms, meaning to sound petty and passive-aggressive, even though Renjun knows that he is eager to hear every little detail.

"Does everything have to be this graphic with you?" Renjun contorts his face in faux disgust, but huffs out a chuckle, not ready to admit that, in all honesty, Donghyuck's words sent him right back to last night when you came around him, milking him for all he's worth.

"It does. Whether you like it or not, this is what you signed up for when you started calling me your friend. Now spill," Donghyuck raises a threatening finger.

"I don't know if I'm comfortable giving out information to fuel your next wanking session with my girlfriend," Renjun notes, but continues to spill the details nonetheless. "So, all in all, very romantic until I was like 5 seconds pre-orgasm and 'Jopping' started playing."

"Did you-"

"I did nut to 'Jopping'."

"I guess you were really jumping and popping," Donghyuck examines, then thinks a little longer, "I guess you were a big boy throwing three stacks."

Renjun looks at him, lips turning into a thin line before he slaps his thighs and gets up. "I think I should go?"

"I guess you really made it bang," Donghyuck says and gets up as well, following Renjun into the hallway with quick footsteps. "I guess you really made the crowd go wild in a small room."

"Stop!" Renjun begs, giggling nevertheless as he slips his jacket on.

"I guess you really got that glow."

"Donghyuck!!" Renjun shrieks, not even fully slipping into his shoes before he grabs his bag and opens the door, Donghyuck behind him clutching his stomach laughing. Though, Renjun gets surprised by someone already standing outside the door, the grin immediately falling off his face as he sees who it is.

"I guess it's in your- " Donghyuck starts, but the second he sees the person in front of the door, his laughter dies down, "... nature."

"Hello, stranger," Renjun says sarcastically, squinting his eyes at Jaemin who simply gulps. It's not like Jaemin to not say anything, or to not smile. Renjun immediately feels a little sorry, but at the same time, he doesn't.

Jaemin simply nods before squeezing in between Renjun and the wooden door frame, kicking his shoes off hastily and hurrying past a flabbergasted Donghyuck towards his room. Renjun's eyes follow him disappear, and when he hears the door to Jaemin's room close shut, he feels reminded of how things really started going downwards as soon as you crossed paths with Jaemin again. Of course it bothers him knowing one of his best bros 1) had his dick in Renjun's girlfriend and 2) broke her heart and scarred her for life. What bothers him almost more is how things went well, they were okay, but now Jaemin needed to show up again and make Renjun question everything he's built with you.

What if Donghyuck is right? What if it really is weird that you keep staying at his place? Why is there never a place you have to be? Admittedly, Renjun had pushed this uncomfortable feeling of something being off with your stay to the very back of his brain, not wanting to destroy what you have, not wanting to waste his last chance for love because of something as insignificant as 'oh no, my girlfriend won't leave and I also don't want her to', but suppressing worries is never the answer. No matter how far you push them away, they always resurface to bite you in the butt. And sometimes they bite you in the butt in human form with a perfect, pearly-white set of teeth and eyes that seem alarmingly less sparkly than usual.

Renjun decides that he has to get a grip. He's been so blinded by love, or whatever it is right now that's surely developing into love, that he just let you step into his life, ruin one of his dearest friendships and keep eating the contents of his fridge when he's not home. All this, he tells himself on the way home, passing by a group of guys hanging out in the park together drinking. He sighs. Wasn't it always bros before hoes? Pals before gals? Homies before blow-me's? Does that still apply when the homie is in the wrong?

_____

"Darling?" Renjun whispers as he enters your (at this point) shared home. The lights are turned off, your figure nowhere to be found. Renjun sighs, slowly unties his shoe laces, takes his sneakers off and places them by the door carefully. He realizes most of his shoes are carelessly thrown all over the place, and so are yours. After the sixth pair he's carefully put into storage, he realizes what he's doing.

"You stupid gremlin, just ask her. Stop wasting time," Renjun tells himself, finally taking off his jacket and hanging it up.

"Ask me what?"

Renjun swears his soul leaves his body for a good 10 seconds before he can breathe again. Your silhouette stands in the doorway to his bedroom, the light of the lampposts outside shining on your backside, hugging your curves and making you look like an angel. Renjun curses his artistic eye in moments like these.

"You scared the crap out of me," he giggles, a little intimidated and, truthfully, freaked out at the way you just stand there, seemingly faceless because of the darkness.

"Aww, I'm sorry," you say, and approach him, hugging his cool figure into your arms. Hesitantly, Renjun hugs you back. Something inside him tells him that you're hiding something. "Where were you so long?"

Renjun breathes in slowly, then out through his nose. "Just walking around, needed to think." He's telling the truth.

"Are you okay?" You pull back, looking at his face gently illuminated by the moon. Very lightly, Renjun can make out the lines of worry on your face. He lets out a shaky breath.

"We need to talk."

Another layer of clothing lighter, Renjun sits down on the bed next to you, sweatpants and a white shirt replacing his earlier clothes that kept him from freezing in the cool weather of an early October. The expression on your face is unreadable, though you look not happy, but rather full of worry, sadness and a pinch of anger.

"Okay, this... this is not an easy thing to ask," Renjun finally starts, hating the tension that's so thick one could cut it with a knife.

"Please, um-" you stop him before anymore words can leave his mouth, glossed over eyes finding his gaze and the sight makes Renjun's heart ache. Never have you looked so raw, so fragile, so... broken? "Let me say something first, okay?"

Renjun nods, sucking his lower lip into his mouth to chew on it. His heart beats fast, the sight of you in front of him almost making him forget why he marched through the streets of this town for hours with no physical goal, but only to make sense of the mess clouding his brain.

"I don't know... what exactly you're going to ask me, but-" you halt and stare downwards into your lap where your shaky hands are nervously fumbling with each other. "Whatever it is, whether you want to break up with me, I just want you to know that-" you gulp, voice shaky, "that I've never felt loved in my life except for when I was with you. You really showed me what love is, Jun. You made me love you. So, um..." you breathe out shakily, two tears rolling down and falling towards your hands as they reach the apples of your cheeks. "Thank you for your time and efforts. You really are the best person I've ever met."

_____

"You are fucking weak!" Donghyuck scolds, a little less playfully than usual.

"You don't get it, Hyuck. You weren't there. The sight would even have broken your sad excuse of a heart," Renjun defends himself.

"Excuse me? Just because my heart has Milf-shaped holes in it doesn't mean I don't feel empathy!" Donghyuck throws in, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Renjun feels a little less confident in his decision of letting you be than a few minutes ago. "What did you ask instead?"

Renjun bites his tongue. Admittedly, a day later, the decision doesn't seem as logical as it did hidden under the secure blankets of a dark night. "I asked if she wanted to meet my parents?"

Donghyuck laughs out, once, and very loud, then turns his body to Renjun and places his hands on the older's thighs. "And let me guess." He raises his eyebrows in amusement. Renjun is not amused. "She was like: 'oh my God, Junnie! Why didn't you just say that?' And playfully slapped your arm, and you somehow ended up with your dick so deep in her you could feel hear stomach acid."

"Ew, what the fuck?" Renjun's eyes widen, eyebrows furrowing, his mouth agape in horror. "Y-you know that's not how the female body works, right?"

"How would I know?" Donghyuck retorts, shrugging.

Renjun groans in frustration, hiding his face in his hands. Donghyuck is right. He shouldn't have let you off the hook so easily. He has the right to know! He deserves to have all the answers to his questions. He is honestly one incident away from making an AITA post on Reddit.

"Hey, hey," Donghyuck gently removes Renjun's hands from his face, letting his hands linger on the older's wrists, "don't beat yourself up, Jun. It's not your fault. If the pussy is tight, the pussy is tight, and there is nothing we can do about it. She's in your head, while you should be in her head – literally."

Renjun rolls his eyes.

"No, for real, though." Donghyuck softly slaps the back of Renjun's birthmarked hand. "Women have a different kind of power over us mortals." He looks deeply into Renjun's eyes. "You really like her, don't you?"

Renjun nods. "I might even use the other L-word."

"Okay, here's the thing," Donghyuck announces, now taking both of Renjun's hands in his, cheesily interlocking their fingers which Renjun chooses to ignore, "meeting your parents is great. I mean, inevitably, they're gonna ask her about her job, won't they?"

A spark of hopeful light appears in Renjun's eyes. "You're right. Thank you, Hyuck."

"Kiss me, then," Donghyuck says and winks. Renjun forcefully pulls his hands from Donghyuck's grip. "In your dreams."

"You don't wanna know what happens in my dreams, my dear Renjun," Donghyuck smirks and Renjun decides that this conversation has to end here.

"How are things with Jaemin?" He therefore asks, leaning back in his chair to create a bigger distance between him and the lecher.

"He's in and out, mostly when he knows I'm not around. I think I'm going to trap him later today when he comes home, and make him tell me what the fuck his problem is," Donghyuck explains matter-of-factly. Renjun admires Donghyuck for his confrontation abilities. Of course, Donghyuck is not as in the middle of all this as Renjun, but he himself would've dreaded running into Jaemin randomly in the hallway, would probably put a tracking device on Jaemin so he can properly avoid him, and – Heaven forbid – would not try to corner him and make him spill. Renjun really hates confrontation, he always has when it comes to people he's close with, that he likes, or rather: that he's afraid of losing, and this is probably one of the reasons why he finds it abnormally hard to tickle the kind of information out of you that he needs to sleep peacefully at night.

Either way, Donghyuck will get Jaemin, and his parents will get you, and Renjun gets all the information he needs without having to put in even an ounce of effort. Slowly, Renjun realizes that this is not that great of a foundation for a good relationship, platonically or romantically. Yeah, admittedly, he feels a bit like a wimp.

_____

Renjun's heart beats up his throat for no apparent reason, except for the fact that he's currently standing in front of his parents' house, having just pressed his finger into the button for the doorbell seconds prior. On his other hand: you, dressed up nicely as if you're trying to impress his parents, inevitably leading to a new hatch of butterflies dancing around in Renjun's stomach. He also quite enjoys the way your palm is a bit sweaty as you cling to his hand, proving that you're nervous, which means that you care. Renjun really likes imagining that you care.

"Son!" Renjun's father opens the door and pulls him into a strong, manly hug, his dad's large palm coming down on his back to knock the air out of him. Seconds later, the hug is over, and Renjun's father examines you.

You smile sweetly, holding his hand out for him to shake. Renjun's dad raises his eyebrows, grins, then shakes your hand aggressively. "Son, I gotta say-"

"Please refrain," Renjun pleads, and pulls you into the house. You both take your shoes off and enter the living room containing Renjun's mom who quickly fluffs out the pillows, then turns to you.

"It's great to meet you," she says, shakes your hand and throws Renjun a wink. Renjun cringes. He really loves his parents – well, his mom first and foremost, but yeah – but they have a disgruntling tendency to embarrass him. His mother, the social butterfly she is, immediately picks up a conversation with you and, to Renjun's upmost joy, you seem thrilled about it, your eyes sparkling as you talk to his mother. It's good, don't get him wrong, but beyond the surface, it's bad. There is a reason Renjun brought you here, well, not that it's the sole reason, but Renjun still needs to find out what it is that you do for a living, and when he gets blinded by this mind-numbing feeling of being absolutely in love with the way you get along with his mother, the dearest woman in his life, he will forget about it.

Hence, he excuses himself to see his father in the kitchen, preparing the food. Not that any of you or his mother would even notice his absence as Renjun's mom is already on her way to the shelf in the corner to pull out photo albums containing Renjun's best and worst memories growing up. But even as he stands in the kitchen, his gaze darts over through the open door to investigate your figure hunched over the printed stages of Renjun's puberty, giggling wholeheartedly over his mother's remarks about all of his friends in the past. His mother has always been good with names and faces.

Even later at the dinner table, Renjun is not able to concentrate one his father's cooking, or the light conversation taking place over the amount of food on the table that could feed an entire baseball team for three weeks. There is only one single thing on Renjun's mind: what is it that you are hiding?

Thankfully – might it be the telekinetic bond he has with his mother or just simple human interest – Renjun's mom, after a minute of silent munching, pipes up and throws the question into the room.

"Our Renjun worked hard to be a freelancer," she chuckles and briefly touches Renjun's forearm resting beside his plate, causing Renjun's ears to pipe up and his eyes to widen. "What is it that you do for a living?"

Renjun feels as if time stops, presumably because it does take you a little while to answer. You visibly gulp at the question, eyes avoiding every person at the table. "Well," you begin, then look up at everyone. You blink a few times and wet your lips before continuing. "I recently lost my job and am looking for something else at the moment." Your gaze catches Renjun's who can't hide his surprise. "Which is why I am extremely grateful for Renjun being there for me right now."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Renjun's mom comforts, a sad look on her face.

"It's okay. I mean- the firm had to ax jobs because of insolvency, so there wasn't really anything I could do about it." You nod to yourself. The following awkwardness lies heavily in the air, and before Renjun's father can even think about bringing alcohol to the table, his mother pipes up once again.

"Don't worry about it, dear. You are still young, there will be lots of job opportunities in the future, I'm sure of it," she smiles encouragingly and you manage to send a slight smile back. "Which reminds me!"

This time, Renjun's mom playfully pinches her husband's shoulder who dramatically mewls at the action. "We were just your age when we met!"

"Oh, really?" You smile widely, interested in the story Renjun's mom tells next, going into almost every detail regarding their first encounter. Renjun, having listened to this exact story countless times, relaxes in his seat. He feels a bit bad that he basically forced you to reveal this probably embarrassing detail about yourself in front of his parents the first time you meet them, but a much bigger part of him is just relieved since, basically, this explains it all. Maybe he should feel a bit used, a bit hurt that you didn't trust him enough to share this detail of your life with him, but on the other hand: he is just glad you're not secretly a serial killer or do porn. Not that there's anything wrong with that, he'd just like to know.

In the midst of his mom's speech, he catches your eyes and sends you a gentle smile which you reciprocate. His hand gently squeezes your thigh under the table, and he is pleasantly surprised as your hand finds his, casually interlocking your fingers with his and putting them on display on the table top.

"Well, good thing you met him before the year ended," Renjun's mother finishes. Renjun's eyes almost pop out of their sockets. Why would she bring that up?

"Why? What's happening at the end of the year?" You ask curiously.

"Christmas!" Renjun says, a bit too loud maybe, since all eyes are on him all of a sudden. "You know, cuffin' season. Heh..."

The day ends pleasantly. Renjun has to fight both of his parents off as they try to make you stay over night or "at least for another shot". Oh no, he has to get you home and, to be completely honest, right into his bed, or preferably the closest surface to the front door that you're willing to take him on. Not even the little remark his mother had whispered to him as he was waiting by the door for you to finish up in the bathroom can make him want you any less right now: "I'm so sure I know her from somewhere."

_____

Days pass and Renjun is on cloud nine. Things are going absolutely great with you, you do fun stuff together, and Renjun can have his little daddy moments every once in a while when you ask him to help you with your job search. He feels giddy all over when he goes to bed, and possibly even giddier when he wakes up to you soundly snoring in his arms. Life is perfect.

But Renjun wouldn't be Renjun if he didn't worry about something, and this time it is the last obstacle to overcome for this to be the absolute perfect relationship: you have to vibe with his friends. Well, first of all, he himself has to start vibing with all of his friends again. He has not seen or heard of Jaemin since he met him that day, and Donghyuck had either forgotten to corner the younger male, or forgotten to tell Renjun about it (classic Donghyuck).

Hence, Renjun calls Donghyuck (so he can't forget to respond to his messages) and makes a plan to meet. Said meeting actually occurs on the same day since Donghyuck feared Jaemin would flee the country if they didn't hurry.

About an hour later – and don't ask him how he convinced you to do this (he might have been using the short post-orgasm timeframe to suggest it when your mind was still cloudy and you were grinning like you were out of your mind) – you appear in front of Donghyuck and Jaemin's apartment.

Before Renjun can even reach out to ring the doorbell, Donghyuck rips open the door, shushes the both of you and hurries you inside. Shoes off, you all meet at the stinky kitchen table and Renjun is reminded of his first encounter with you that he had spilled about at this very table. He finds it a funny little memory.

"Jaemin is in his room," Donghyuck whispers and Renjun can smell the garlic fried chicken he must have had earlier in his breath.

"You didn't tell him we were coming?" Renjun whisper-shouts back and purposely avoids looking at you because he already knows of the disapproving stare the back of his head is receiving right now.

"One: he just had a girl over, and even though I seem like the type to barge into a room that reeks of sex to witness Jaemin balls deep in a chick, I've seen enough of that. Two: if I had told him, he would've possibly taken off no questions asked," Donghyuck reasons and Renjun has to, once again, question why Donghyuck always has to verbally visualize all the tmi details of his speech. Renjun turns to look at you, and you look unsure. Although you had voiced your concerns on the way here, and Renjun had to make you promise not to bail on him, he gets where you're coming from.

Taking you aside (turning around since Donghyuck is openly swiping on his tinder right now that Renjun knows he hasn't set an age limit to) he asks, "Are you okay with this?"

You take a deep breath before nodding. "I want to do this for you, Jun."

Renjun has to ask himself when he started to connect the feeling of love with the desire for sex because why is the first though that comes to mind to bend you over the sticky counter and have his balls slap against your thighs? On that note, he also should stop hanging out with Donghyuck so much if this is how his mind describes sex...

Instead, he presses a kiss to your lips, and apparently Donghyuck's forgotten about his rule of being quiet because he 'ooohh's and laughs dirtily. Renjun simply pays him no mind, unlike you who raises a questioning eyebrow.

"I say I go in first, prepare him for what's to come, and then get him out here so we can all talk," Renjun suggests and everyone nods in agreement. "And Donghyuck-"

"Hm?"

"Leave my girlfriend alone while I'm gone." Renjun squints at Donghyuck.

"I'll try my best." Donghyuck winks at him before brushing his tongue over his front teeth and then biting the air in your direction. Renjun cringes.

"I can defend myself, don't you worry," you confirm with a smile and Renjun wants to kiss the floor you're walking on. Well, maybe not this floor since he is sure that ketchup stain by the fridge has been there since they moved in and got McDonald's on the first night.

"Oh, you know martial arts?" Donghyuck questions with raised eyebrows and great interest.

"No, but I can aim for your balls!" You explain, nodding excitedly.

"Be careful, he might enjoy that," Renjun comments before leaving towards Jaemin's room. He can hear Donghyuck silently arguing his statement in the background before promising you that he would not enjoy that, even though everyone present knows that's a lie. Renjun giggles one last time before turning the corner and stepping into the narrow hallway leading to Donghyuck's and Jaemin's bedrooms while wishing they would open a window every once in a while.

The few steps to Jaemin's door seem endless, especially as Renjun walks past Donghyuck's room that he had forgotten to close the door to, greeting Renjun with the pleasant sight of a fleshlight. Renjun whines quietly, but realizes nonetheless that he is happy to be Donghyuck's friend. He might be disgusting, but it's actually kind of funny.

So, without proper preparation of what to say, Renjun arrives at Jaemin's door. His hand hesitates in front of the "alpha male", "gym bro" and "Fortnite" stickers on Jaemin's door before he actually manages to knock.

The second Jaemin takes to offer him to enter stretches like gum.

"Did you forget something, bunny?" Jaemin asks as soon as the door opens. Renjun is greeted with the sight of Jaemin's massive back facing him as he sits at his desk, an online poker game decorating the large screen in front of him.

Given the nickname, Renjun doubts that Jaemin has any clue that it's him in his room right now. He tries to think of a cocky answer, but he has never been the spontaneous type, so all that comes out is "call me bunny one more time and i might kiss you" and Renjun has no idea where that came from. Still, it does the job of making Jaemin spin around in his chair, eyes wide in shock as he sees Renjun (and not bunny) stand in the doorway.

It's been a while since Renjun's seen Jaemin, and that might be one of the reasons why he finds himself staring at the younger's chest muscles for a bit too long for it to be a coincidence.

Once he's managed to peel his eyes off of Jaemin's nude upper body (he is glad he's wearing boxer shorts, at least) he aims to say something again since Jaemin's sure taking a long time to respond.

"Good day, sir," Renjun says and frowns at how awkward he is. Finally, a chuckle escapes Jaemin. Renjun also isn't sure why he's being so nice to Jaemin. Last time he checked, he was furious and wanted Jaemin to suffer a pussy-less summer. Maybe it's because everything else is perfect right now, and he doesn't have it in him to feel angry anymore.

"Hello, Jun," Jaemin finally says before getting up and wrapping his meaty arms around Renjun who experiences a weird mixture of relief, a spark of arousal, and the feeling of being crushed to death, so he just gently pads Jaemin's body in return. When Jaemin finally lets go of him, holding him by his shoulders and gently shaking him, Renjun reminds himself of all the disgusting things in this room alone so he can stop finding his best friend hot (namely: the dead cactus by the dirty window, the trash can that's spilling over with used tissues and condom wrappers, the countless empty bottles scattered around the place, most of which still containing an unnaturally colored fluid and some of which sporting little white clumps, the pin-up-girl-posters, the old gym socks all over the floor that he can smell from here, and the thick layer of dust on- basically everything Jaemin doesn't touch every day). It helps.

Jaemin steps back, opens a window and lights a cigarette.

"So, uh," Renjun starts, "don't freak out."

Jaemin nods and smiles.

"But I'm here with," Renjun halts to force down a smile and fail, "with my girlfriend. And don't feel pressured right now! It's all good. But we.. we came to talk things out."

Jaemin is not smiling anymore, but nods nonetheless. Renjun feels a bit bad, a bit selfish, even.

"Would you, uh-" Renjun scratches the back of his head before stepping towards the window as well because the distance is making him feel a lot more awkward "Would you mind telling me what happened? Back then?"

"She didn't tell you?" Jaemin questions, and Renjun is trying his best to decipher how Jaemin is feeling right now. Is he upset? Does he care?

"She did, but... I wanted to hear your side of the story. You're my best friend, after all," Renjun admits, eyes wandering around the room awkwardly before looking at Jaemin again. He is a bit glad his fingers find an old gum wrapper on the window sill to fiddle with. "I know it probably didn't feel like that for you in the past weeks. I'm sorry. It should've been bros before hoes but-"

"I know, you're a hopeless romantic, Jun," Jaemin reasons, "no need to apologize. I guess I just didn't like getting confronted with my ugly past."

"I get that," Renjun says and smiles slightly. Next thing he knows, Jaemin's pressing a kiss to his forehead. Renjun turns beet red within seconds. "Stop it, idiot, I have a girlfriend."

Jaemin laughs loudly. "What, am I your gay awakening?"

"You know very well who my gay awakening was." Renjun thinks back to his high school days, especially that one kid, tall, handsome, loud and a little stupid. Oh, meow, his first love.

Jaemin ruffles his hair. "So, my side of the story, huh?" He leans on his forearms and looks out the window, blowing the smoke into the cold air. Renjun, already shivering a little, wonders how Jaemin's not dying from the cold right now. "There is not much to it, really. I was a horny teenager, she was a pretty girl. It was not cool of me to just – y'know – hit and run. I have learned since then. Girls know what they get themselves into when they hop into my bed, I make it very clear."

"Very noble of you," Renjun says, and he hopes it doesn't sound sarcastic to Jaemin's ears. This might not be Renjun's preferred lifestyle, but to each their own, who is he to judge? "I'm just hoping this won't stand between us."

"Oh, don't worry. I won't fuck your girlfriend again," Jaemin promises, snapping the bud of the cigarette out the window.

"Not what I meant-" Renjun says, but is honestly a bit relieved to hear that. Well, he's pretty sure you wouldn't cheat on him, and he knows that Jaemin has about 200 other options just off the top of his head, but it still feels nice to be reassured. "So, are we good?"

"We are so good," Jaemin announces with a grin, pulling Renjun into another rib-cracking hug. This time, Renjun actually manages to hug him back. He loves Jaemin dearly (platonically), even though he's a real pig at times. Renjun daydreams a bit more about how much he loves his friends before Jaemin detaches himself from Renjun to announce that they should probably head out so he can apologize to the real victim of all of this. Renjun swears he's going to twist Jaemin's nipples until they fall off if he goes out there to meet you without putting a shirt on first. Jaemin laughs, slaps Renjun's back so hard the air gets knocked out of his lungs, then complies and slips into the next best sweater.

Renjun sighs as he realizes the writings on it. Better than nothing, he guesses.

He isn't really surprised as they enter the kitchen to find Donghyuck flexing his very little gain of biceps in front of you and you booing at him with your thumb pointing downwards. Once you notice Jaemin, Renjun notices how you tense up a bit, and he immediately comes rushing to your side to feel you slightly relax with his arm around your shoulder.

"Long time no see-" Donghyuck squints at the lettering on Jaemin's sweater, "orgasm donor."

"Might have not seen you, but I definitely smelled those stinkers you leave in the bathroom for me to find," Jaemin responds. Renjun is a bit surprised to find that this whole situation must have affected Jaemin enough to not even interact with his platonic soulmate in the slightest.

"You make it sound like I don't flush," Donghyuck mumbles, but it goes unnoticed since Jaemin has now turned to you.

"I want to apologize, which I should've done way sooner," Jaemin starts, and the tension in the air is scaring Renjun a bit. "I was young and a total dick, but that's no excuse. I'm sorry."

No one says anything, not even Donghyuck, who has an opinion or at least a thought on everything. It is quiet for a good while, and Renjun fears that you are not ready to forgive Jaemin, which, in all honesty, is fair, given you've lived with the trauma he gave you for years now. Renjun has tried fairly often since he found out what you went through, but he can't imagine how he would've reacted (and lived on) if his first love (who took his v-card) just left without saying anything. (He had to move to fulfill his dream of becoming an idol a year later, sadly, but they're still in touch, on and off. This also makes his encounter with you on the living room floor the other night a bit ironic, but that is besides the point right now.)

Finally, you breathe in. The anxiety in Jaemin's eyes tightens. Everyone is holding their breath.

"I forgive you." You reach out and shake Jaemin's hand. Hell breaks loose in Renjun's chest because, wow, what did he do in his past life to deserve such luck. He is so happy, he smooches your cheek. You giggle, Jaemin smiles and Donghyuck hollers in the background. This little party goes on for a moment before the atmosphere relaxes again. Donghyuck pipes up again to fill the silent moment with an unnecessary comment, "is it just me or does this situation call for a gang bang?"

"Donghyuck, I swear to God, I am going to stuff you head first into Jaemin's nut-napkin-trash can and send a picture of it to your mom," Renjun hisses, but Donghyuck seems unfazed.

"Nothing she hasn't seen before." He shrugs. Renjun decides not to question it.

_____

Renjun's life is so wonderful, he wishes someone would write a story about it. With him by your side, you actually managed to get a job which occupies you half of every other day. Although, you still live with Renjun, which he doesn't mind at all. He loves having you come home to a freshly cooked dinner, to then snuggle on the couch until you either fall asleep or start diddling.

Renjun likes when it's the second option, just like tonight, where he's seated on the floor in front of the couch with your legs draped over his shoulders as he eats you out slowly and softly. Your gentle gasps are music to his ears, the prime time movie playing in the background long forgotten and tuned out as his attention is fully on you.

The slight tugs on his hair make his stomach churn with desire, hands and mouth suddenly too eager to keep his teasing manner up as he moves up to kiss you instead. You giggle into the kiss at his fiery passion, suggesting to take things to the bedroom instead.

Renjun does not need to be told twice as he pulls you against him, making you chuckle even more, and moves you to the bedroom.

Your back hits the mattress with a soft thud as you smile excitedly at Renjun who comes climbing over your body to be at eye level with you again. His hands find your hips, caressing their way upwards while pushing the silky fabric of your shirt up in the process, allowing your braless chest to meet his hungry eyes. The rest of your clothing follows suit, Renjun feeling the flame of lust relight once again as his bare skin touches yours.

"Can we try something tonight?" You suddenly whisper, gaze trained on Renjun's face waiting impatiently for his answer. With his mouth slightly agape, he nods. His eyes jump to where your hand is suddenly touching his, following as you move it upwards to your neck, gently wrapping his smooth fingers around it and applying pressure.

Renjun gulps in awe.

"Press here when you push in," you say, eyelids fluttering as you mimic the action with your fingers against his. Renjun nods carefully, pupils blown probably as wide as yours with lust and desire, heart pounding in his chest as if it was the first time all over again. He will always feel like this around you.

Finding your entrance, Renjun coats his tip with your essence, teasing your awaiting body for another moment or so until his tip catches at your hole. He remembers your words, the grip of his fingers tightening around your throat as he slowly pushes forward, length sinking in slowly.

He's not even all the way in and he can already feel you clench around him, walls hugging him as if they're afraid of letting him go, hole almost fluttering at the feeling of being choked. All that paired with how heavenly you look wrapped up in ecstasy, pretty moans flowing freely only impacted by the way Renjun restricts the flow of air into your lungs and of blood into your brain.

Renjun loves you. He is so deeply in love with you he feels like he could laugh and cry simultaneously, stomach tickling with the all too familiar butterflies every time you look at him. He can't ever get enough of you, he needs you close to him. Never is he going to let you go. He will fight for you, whatever that might mean.

"I'm so in love with you," Renjun can't hold back saying, gently gaze caressing you lovingly. The slow pace he sets makes both of you see stars, length dragging along your walls perfectly to bring you to your shared high.

And it's probably this what makes it sting 100 times more the next morning. You were up early to go to work, kissing Renjun's forehead goodbye as he was still idling sleepily in bed. His mind is still groggy when he peels himself off the sheets and picks up his phone for the first time that day, weak hands struggling to remove the charger. Although, all sleepiness is wiped from his body the second he looks at the screen.

The pretty lock screen picture he has showing you during golden hour is hidden behind a bunch of messages that came in over night. But Renjun is not interested in the four messages he had gotten from Donghyuck ("TW: dickpic", a photo, "can i send it like this or does the slit look off to you??" and "or is it just me?????") or the Instagram reel Jaemin sent to the group chat with the message "me when i was in renjun's gf ha haaa" and Donghyuck responding with "clean".

What makes Renjun's heart drop, beat 20 times its usual speed and then drop again is the following E-Mail notification:

Dear Renjun Huang,

we feel the need to inform you that during our yearly check-ups, we noticed that there has been an incident with your account. Unfortunately, it seems like there has been a mistake made on the company's side regarding your profile.

It seems that someone has hacked into our system, gotten to your private information and pretended to be your Soulmatch™.

We dearly apologize for this mistake. To protect your safety, we have now deleted your account and all private information regarding your person. Please get in touch with us if you want to press charges against the intruder.

Of course, we will pay back the amount you have spent on our Premium Love Package immediately.

Again, our deepest apologies.

Sincerely,

The Soulmatch™ Team

Renjun is not sure how to react to this. Immediately, he checks the app, but he is logged out already. He tries to log in, but his profile is nowhere to be found.

Putting his phone down, he falls onto his back. His mind is racing with thoughts, but they do not seem to make any sense. Someone pretended to be his soulmate? He has never gotten any matches except-

Except you.

Was this... all a hoax? Were you not his soulmate? Have you been lying to him all this time? Why? What does this even mean? How did you do it? And most importantly, what is he going to do now?

Before he knows it, tears start pooling in his eyes, and soon after they drip hotly down his cheeks.

You lied to him.

Have you just used him all this time? Is everything a lie? Do you even love him back? Where did the lies begin? Does he even know who you are? Is this why you've been so secretive about every single detail of your life? Because everything is just made up?

And he just let you. He put up with all of it because he is a pathetic romantic who believes in soulmates. Because he is so desperate to find love. You lied to him with every fibre of your being. And he kissed you. He made love to you. He held you and comforted you. Hell, he even let down his best friend because of you. How could he have been so stupid?

Renjun simply has no words. And he doesn't think he has anything to say to you ever again. He just wants to know why, and how, but he doesn't want to ask you because you're going to lie your way out of it anyway, no?

Shaky legs allow him to get up and walk over into the living room where all your stuff is scattered around.

He is so stupid. He let you live with him. He trusted you without question.

And you used him.

He never wants to see you or any of your stuff ever again, he decides as he kicks against your backpack leaned against the couch, wincing in pain immediately as the contents of the backpack appear to be much more solid than he presumed. His hands grab ahold of his injured foot, causing him to pathetically jump around on one leg until he gives up and falls onto the couch. Wow, he can't even have his dramatic meltdown without being an embarrassing idiot.

The next few hours he spends mostly crying or angrily pacing around. He's thrown all your stuff into a corner and covered it with a blanket so he doesn't need to get reminded of how he's just a pathetic loser every few minutes, although it doesn't help.

He is not sure whether to be upset about the fact that you can't use your phone at work or not, he only knows that by the time 2pm comes around (the time you get off work) he starts to panic.

He is not going to face you. Not now, not like this, preferably not ever. He debates if he should call you, but knowing how easily influenced he is, he'd probably let you lull him in again. No way is he going to face you, nor your voice, nor your texts. All that's left to notify you that Renjun wants you out of his life immediately is a handwritten note to leave while he goes and takes a walk, and hopefully by the time he comes back, you and all your stuff are gone.

Unfortunately, before he can even get a pen and a piece of paper, he hears the keys jiggling as the door is being unlocked. Renjun briefly debates whether jumping out the window would hurt less than this encounter.

"Honey I'm h-" your face comes into view, and Renjun feels his heart beat up his throat. He feels so uncomfortable, so bad, so stupid, so pathetic. "What's wrong?"

Okay, great. It seems to be written all over his face how his morning went.

"Don't you have anything to say to me?" Is all he gets out, cringing at how shaky his voice is, how weak and cracked it sounds after he's dramatically sobbed for a good half of his morning.

"What do you mean?" Your brows contort, and Renjun is glad that he for once does not feel any sexual attraction to you while you're fighting. This was too much.

"Maybe how you lied to me about every single aspect of your life?"

"Huh??"

Renjun wipes his face with one hand. "Didn't know you could hack."

The utter confusion on your face turns into an expression of shock, fear even. "Oh God, oh God."

"That's right, now you remember," Renjun says passive aggressively.

"I think I'm gonna throw up," you say, not meeting Renjun's eyes as you hold your stomach.

"Listen. I'm not going to scream at you. I just want you out. Out of here and out of my life," Renjun says and is surprised at how calm he appears.

"No, no, no, please. I can explain-"

"You can explain all you want, how can I ever believe something you say ever again after all you did was lie? Do you even love me?" Renjun raises his voice against his own better judgement, tears appearing in his eyes once again, but he doesn't let them spill out. He can't give you that kind of satisfaction.

By now, you're kneeling on the floor. The one and a half meters separating you from him feel endless, you're crying restlessly and Renjun doesn't even feel a pinch of empathy for you.

"I do! I love you, please, Renjun, please, you're all I have," you beg.

At this, Renjun feels his heart shatter a little more. Maybe he does have a bit of empathy for you. At the same time, a new wave of anger arises.

"I trusted you. I gave you everything. And you just- you lied. All you did was lie!"

"That's not true! I-" you suddenly crawl over to him and Renjun takes a step back. "I promise. I love you. Maybe the beginning was- fucked up, but everything after that was sincere! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please!"

At this point, the gates of pride can no longer contain Renjun's tears and he breaks down as well, his knees hit the floor in front of you and he begins sobbing. "How could you do this to me?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," is all you reply, hands reaching out to touch him, and he flinches back, but somehow still lets it happen, lets your arms wrap around him and burry your face in the crook of his neck as you pathetically whimper into the fabric of his shirt.

Renjun follows suit. Of course, he hates you right now, but a very big part of him is in love with you – or rather with the version of you that you made up (???). Not listening to the part of his consciousness screaming at him to stop, he wraps his arms around you as well, crying wholeheartedly against your shaking body.

He has no idea how long you sit there, his legs have gone numb at this point, everything hurts, and then you finally speak up.

"I can explain. It's not good, it's not nice, it's no excuse, but I at least want you to know the truth and not whatever truth you've made up in your head."

Renjun nods. He shouldn't, but he wants you to tell him what really happened.

He also hates that you know him so well.

You somehow find yourselves on the living room floor a few minutes later. Renjun's brought two bottles of water to hydrate after that crying fest out there.

"So, the app," you start, not meeting Renjun's eyes in the slightest. "I used to- work for them."

You take some time to let that sink in. Renjun decides he does not want to respond until the end.

"There was a huge data leakage, and I thought I had it under control, but turns out I didn't, which is why I had to meet you to get you to delete your profile- it's complicated. Or maybe I just made it complicated. But that is why.. you got that weird match. Usually, you can visit that person's profile, but obviously I couldn't have you see it was me because of- our previous encounter, which by the way wasn't planned! It was really just a coincidence!"

Renjun is unsure how this is making him feel.

"Anyway, so I came over. You went to the bathroom and I deleted the app of your phone. Silly me apparently forgot that i had to delete the profile, which is why I came back. I didn't plan for us to hook up again- or whatever. I just needed enough time to delete your profile, which I fucked up. This is already bad enough, but it gets worse."

Renjun does not like where this is going.

"Obviously, I got fired. And you know my situation by now, this was literally all I had. With what I had saved, it lasted me about half a year until I had no money left, I had no idea what to do. I applied for jobs everywhere, but no one was willing to hire me after finding out why I got fired last time. This is where it gets really fucked up. I'm sorry."

Your nervous fiddling makes Renjun believe you, even though he is not sure if he should.

"I- thought that... oh, God, this is so bad."

"Just say it," Renjun says and is not really surprised by how dead inside he sounds.

"Well, I thought that maybe if I like had sex with you again, you'd let me stay with you? I really don't know what the plan was, but... literally you're the only person I knew and... I don't know, I just thought- I guess I didn't think. But then you said you didn't want to have sex anymore, but wanted me to stay anyway- so I... used you... I mean, I still... liked you? Obviously, or else I wouldn't've slept with you.. twice! I mean- God, I'm such a horrible person.."

Renjun doesn't have to say anything to that.

"Well, and then things went so great – except for the Jaemin thing – and for the first time ever, I felt loved? Because I was? Literally, half the time I wished I would've stayed the time we first hooked up so we could have a normal relationship that isn't based on me trying to save my ass and using you... But everything was so beautiful. You made me feel safe, and I pretty much forgot about the app. I really just enjoyed being with you. I enjoyed falling in love with you. Even meeting your parents and friends, how you sorted out the Jaemin thing for me..."

Renjun believes you are genuine.

"That's it... I think.. I just- I'm sorry... I shouldn't have lied to you.. I should've just been honest from the beginning and said I made a mistake or whatever but- I don't know, I didn't. I guess I was scared? I don't know.. But please, I need you to believe me when I say everything after that was real. I love you. I like you, everything about you, and not only because you're kind and offered me a home... basically, no. I like you for you. I love you. Even if you-" you choke up briefly "decide that you don't want to be with me anymore, I just need you to believe me when I say... that I truly love you. I never lied about that, ever. Not once. And I wouldn't in a million years."

"Is that all?" Renjun asks after a minute. You, looking at him for the first time, nod. Before his heart can start beating again, before the butterflies can come back, he needs to remind himself that you used him. You used him and you lied.

"I mean, this is a lot," Renjun starts. You suddenly seem to be unable to look at him anymore. "I feel- actually I don't really know how I feel, but thank you for.. being honest, I hope?"

"I promise."

"I'm going to be honest, I feel... betrayed?"

"Rightfully so."

"I need some time to think about it... Is it.. okay.." Renjun rethinks his decision of asking you beforehand, "I'm going to need to take a walk.. clear my head, make up my mind. I'm not going to ask you to stay, but I'm also not asking you to leave. Do what you will..."

"I understand," you nod, and Renjun gets up. "Wait-"

Renjun halts and turns around to look at you getting up from your place on the carpet. "This might be.. wrong? Toxic? But... can I... if this is the last time I can... if you decide to.. not be with me... can I kiss you one last time?"

Renjun feels his throat close up at your words. Either you're a really, really good liar or you're being honest about your feelings. His breath hitches, his heart performs summersaults in his chest, and his voice trembles, "you can."

Carefully you lean in, slowly pressing your lips against his. There is not much going on, your hands gently hover on his shoulders, barely touching him at all, and your lips just stay still against his. Still, Renjun feels like a thousand silent words and a million hidden emotions clear up as his eyes close to feel you against him. His breath is shaky, he feels himself getting hot as more tears well up behind his closed lids. He really doesn't want to let you go.

As you part from him, his lips chase you for a split second before he realizes what he's doing. "I should get going."

"Be safe." You nod again and Renjun hears the threatening tears in your voice. God, how badly he wants to believe you.

'I love you, I love you!', his heart screams at him to scream at you, but he doesn't. Instead, he steps out of the room, grabs his keys, slips into his shoes and jacket, and heads out without looking back.

The cold air hits his face. Yet, unlike in the movies, he still doesn't feel any clearer. He still feels used and betrayed, he still feels like shit, but he knows he loves you. But is that enough of a reason to forgive you?

He tries to be logical, debate his options, but he can't focus. All that swirls around his brain is how your lips felt on his, and he wonders if kissing you was a mistake. This stupid, romantic mind of his...

Inevitably, after walking around the neighborhood for a good hour, thinking of nothing and everything, he decides that maybe he still isn't in the right mind to make a decision on his own. But who is he going to ask? Fucknut #1 and Serial-Fucker #2? Definitely not.

Therefore, he is glad his mother answers the phone after the second ring. Immediately, she knows something is up, and Renjun repeats the things you have told him (with less sexual details, as to be expected) to his mother who listens patiently.

Except for a "that's where I know her from!" and a short explanation how she saw a picture of you amongst your colleagues when she read that article about the love app, she just listens. Maybe he should've asked her about it back then, about the article. Maybe none of this would have happened. But then, he wouldn't have you in his life.

When he is done and asks for advice, she appears calm.

"Oh, Junnie. Love can be a funny thing. See, when I met your father, it wasn't easy either. Both of our families were against us, our lives were so different from each other, and still, there was so much connecting us that it had to be fate. I know it's hard to trust after something like this, I can only imagine what you're feeling right now, but you're a smart kid, you'll know what's right."

"But what would you do? What do you think?" Renjun asks.

His mother sighs and chuckles slightly. "Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic like you are, but... people make mistakes, Junnie. The universe brought you together so many times, I think it's fate. I don't know if you should forgive her, but I know I would."

"You would? You don't think I'm crazy? You don't think I'm letting her walk all over me?"

"Not that this should matter, but you haven't been completely honest with her either if I remember correctly?" His mom reminds him, and Renjun suddenly feels a bit lighter.

"The psychic," he mumbles.

"That's right. She told you you were going to be alone forever if you didn't meet someone by the end of this year, and that's the reason you signed up for that app in the first place. And a part of me believes that that's the reason why you even let her stay with you, why you were so willing to ignore all signs that something was up. Maybe you already knew?" His mother suggests and Renjun doesn't like it one bit how similar they are. Or maybe he does.

"How do you know me so well?" He whines, feeling a bit more confident about letting that kiss linger in his mind for so long.

"I raised you!" She chuckles and Renjun can feel himself smile. He thanks her again before ending the call before turning on his heels to head back home. God, he only hopes you're still there.

______

When Renjun unlocks the door to the apartment, his hands are shaking. It took him a good three attempts to finally get the key into the lock. Admittedly, he is nervous because, well, for obvious reasons, but he also isn't sure if you're still there. Your past of skidaddling when things get serious gives him every right to feel anxious as he listens for any signs of you still being around as he takes of his shoes.

He doesn't dare call out for you, instead he begins searching the place. He's not sure what's going to happen when he finds you since, well, it hasn't been nice of him to just leave you behind, but what was he going to do?!

His search is pointless, he realizes as he steps out of the last room, the bathroom, and you're not there. Honestly, he wasn't really confident that you'd still be there, but he had hope. What raises his eyebrow is that your stuff is still there, no longer cramped into the corner he threw them in a few hours ago, but neatly sorted and packed in case this was really the final day of your stay. But, point is: it's still there. Now why in the world would you head off and go your own way and leave all that behind.

It's then when the door is unlocked once again, your figure slipping in, red and puffy eyes meeting the puzzled Renjun standing in the hallway.

"Y-you're back," you deduct correctly, taking off your shoes and stepping inside.

"Sure am." Renjun isn't sure why he still sounds so pissed when he is here to forgive you. On a second thought, maybe he's too quick with it? Should he really listen to his mom and just- forgive you? Just like that? Oh, he already knows Donghyuck is going to put out a whole speech about how Renjun is "high on pussy" and "not thinking straight". But... he wants to. He wants to forgive you. He wanted to from the very first moment he saw that weird E-Mail. He just couldn't. And now he can... can he?

"I just went out to get your favorite snack from the little store down the street.. I thought it might... make you feel better," you finally reveal why you left the apartment and Renjun's heart jumps. "I dunno, I just- wanted to do something nice regardless of your decision." You nod to yourself.

Renjun just looks at you as you are unable to meet his eyes.

"They didn't have it, so I went to the other store, the one by the subway station, and they actually were out of stock, but I begged the guy to go check if they had some left somewhere," you inform him, shyly looking up at him, "my current state must've convinced him it was urgent." You smile weakly and motion to your face.

Renjun can't keep his strong demeanor up any longer. Two big steps (wow, he has to inform his doctor that his legs must've grown a few centimeters) and he's right in front of you, cupping your cheeks. "I love you," he simply says, your face so confused that you can only stutter a few syllables before Renjun crashes his lips to yours.

And, God, does it feel good. Honestly, he has so much more time to actually think about what you did, and what it means in the future, but he needs you here with him, right now, always and forever. Sure, it's going to take a bit for him to built his trust again, but for now, he doesn't actually care.

"I love you too," you manage to breathe out when Renjun parts from you.

"I realized a few things. And I may have been a bit dramatic? But, well, I also have a confession to make."

_____

Renjun pushed the admittedly tacky (and stereotypical? Renjun did get slight cultural appropriation vibes) curtain aside to slip into the dimly lit room, although once he entered, the aura of the room changed his mind completely. It's not that he had a sense for spirituality, but he has always been deeply interested in the matter, which made him glad his mother suggested to try it out once.

So this was it, Renjun's first Tarot card reading.

The lady had been super nice, Renjun could tell by one single glance she was competent and very able to perform this life changing reading for him.

"What question brings you here today?" She asked, shuffling her deck of cards which Renjun could not take his eyes off.

"Ask about your love life!" His mom urged beside him, giggling like the sunshine she is, and Renjun chuckled quickly before averting his eyes to look at the lady in front of them.

"Just- my future? If there is anything important I should know?" He decided since that would not exclude his mom's interests.

"Very well," the lady nodded and began shuffling the cards quicker, her hands rushing until one card fell out.

"Ah, The Fool," she explained, and Renjun frowned. His mother couldn't contain a chuckle. "Do not worry, dear. This is no description of your self. Instead The Fool can symbolize new beginnings. There is most likely change waiting for you."

Renjun felt his heart beat up his throat in a positive way, making him giddy to find out more. The lady shuffled her cards some more until two cards fell out at the same time.

"Here we have The Ace of Cups, upright, and The Lovers. There appears to be a new relationship waiting for you, a romantic one."

Renjun gently elbowed his mom next to him who seemed as erratic as he was right now.

"Oh dear, The High Priestess in reverse... this new relationship might be full of secrets, which can be good or bad, exciting or dangerous," The lady deducted, and Renjun gulped.

As she started shuffling again, three cards sprang out of the deck immediately, making even Renjun feel the urgency.

"Two of Wands, The Hermit, The Ace Of Pentacles," the lady read out, sounding worried.

"Why? What does it mean?" Renjun asked, worry also evident in his tone.

"Two of Wands might represent the urgency of this. You have to take action soon, or else – here comes The Hermit – you may find loneliness. The Ace of Pentacles shows us the time frame: one year. I get the strong feeling these cards are telling you to hurry finding that love, or you might be alone forever."

_____

"So basically that's why you've been this patient with me?"

"Basically," Renjun responds, feeling a bit bad about it, "I feel like I should've told you sooner?"

"Jun, don't worry. You're not the one who messed up here. If anything, this makes me feel a tiny bit better about how manipulative I've been..." You admit, frowning.

"Well, I'm not the only one calling the shots here," Renjun summarizes, "so I'm asking you: Do you still want to be my girlfriend?"

"Are you joking? I feel like you are," you say, a wide grin spreading over your face.

"Nope, I'm super serious," Renjun chuckles and pokes your shoulder for reasons he is not aware of.

"Wow, and here I was contemplating to offer you anal to make up for it," you joke (?).

Renjun blinks at you, his smile falling into a crooked smirk at the proposal of your kind offering. "I mean... is the offer still on the table?"

"You are such a man," you pinch him, but do not reject the idea.

"What if we did it right now? Right here?" Renjun suddenly grabs your waist, pulling you closer to his body and starts kissing your neck. His tone (hopefully) brings across that he's joking, that you obviously won't do it right now, but not never either, if you're still up for it.

"You'd be the first," you chuckle before kissing Renjun's nose.

"Stop making me hard," he mumbles before attacking you with more kisses. "I know it's only been like a few hours, but I missed you so much. Let's not fight ever again, yeah?"

"I agree," you say and Renjun pulls back to look at you. Maybe this is silly, maybe he forgives too easily, but it just feels right. The look in your eyes is so genuine, as was the offer of doing butt stuff, that Renjun is just pretty much sure that this was this one big thing every relationship has and now it will only get better.

"Or is there anything else you need to tell me," Renjun teases.

"Not a thing, you now know everything there is to know about me, which, admittedly, isn't that much.. do you have a confession to make?"

Renjun thinks for a second. "Well, just this one thing. Remember when we went to Jaemin's to talk things out? He was practically naked when I went in there and I may have stared a bit until I remembered that he is disgusting."

"Oh, word. His chest is super-"

"Hey." Renjun furrows his brows half playfully joking, half dead serious. "I get to say that. You don't."

You mimic zipping your mouth shut, locking it and throwing the key away. Renjun laughs and takes your hand in his to hold. "So, all this talk about anal and Jaemin... why don't we take this to the bedroom?"

"You really won't let this go, huh?" You smirk. "I'd say: what comes around goes around. Whatever you do to my butt, I'll do to yours."

"I believe I have never loved you more than right now," Renjun sighs before kissing you once again, on the mouth this time, and he feels like time stands still and rushes past double it's normal speed. His hands wander over your body, taking everything in, feeling you against him because you are his, once again, finally. Your hands are as excited touching him, and it dawns on Renjun that you're probably not going to make it to the bedroom, which is fine since he owns this entire place anyway (it's a rental, but you get the point).

Both of your clothes are off in no time, leaving Renjun's hands to freely roam over your naked skin, and it feels just as exhilarating as if you'd never had that fight. That stupid, stupid fight, right now, Renjun can't even remember what it was about, but that could partly be because of the lack of blood in his brain. His heavy erection is currently pressed heavenly against your lower stomach as you make out wildly, and Renjun can't even think about the usual foreplay he finds so important as you start rubbing your wetness all over him. He just wants to be in you, be connected to you, feel all of you against and around him, have the both of you desperately grinding and panting against each other.

Although, he feels kind of more dominant today, maybe there is still a very slight aftertaste of your betrayal lingering and he feels the need to show you that he can be in control over you if he wants to, or maybe he just feels extra manly and prideful today after you did everything to prove to him that you want him in your life. He decides that being on top would be enough to satisfy that need, so he gently pushes you back and lays you down on your back.

His tip brushes over your clit and you whine, a sound that is music to Renjun's ears, and when you speak up and practically beg him to just "put it in", who is he to deny you that wish?

Aligning himself with your hole, he gently pushes forward, allowing his tip to disappear between your velvety walls, and he loves how your eyes roll back and you gasp at how good he feels.

"Only the tip and you're already drooling," he observes, biting his lower lip smugly before pulling back out and repeating the action of fucking just the tip into you several times before giving in to your quiet pleas and pushes all the way in.

You choke on your moan at this, eyes glazed over with lust finding Renjun's under eyebrows furrowed by pleasure. Renjun can already feel you pulsating around him and God does that stroke his ego.

Although he decides he could be having more of an effect on you right now, so he places your legs on his shoulders instead of around his waist, and practically folds you in half to open you up for him so he can fill you deeper, so deeply his tip grazes at your cervix. To intensify your pleasure, his fingers come up to rub at your wet clit, three fingers massaging the nub in quick circles, the wetness allowing him to glide over the surface perfectly.

And your body seems to agree. In no time – Renjun's sure he must've set a new record – you announce that you're ready, seconds away from reaching your high, and Renjun thinks twice about letting you taste it. Well, you did kind of fuck up, but fuck it. Renjun loves the look on your face when you cum just too much to deny you it, instead spurring you on by telling you just how good you are for him, what a perfect girl you are and how much he loves having you cum on his cock.

Seconds later, you orgasm, clamping walls choking his dick in the best way possible, the look on your face and the moans sounding from your throat so pretty that Renjun feels like he's fallen in love all over again. When you come down, he praises you and kisses you, never missing an opportunity to tell you just how perfect you are.

"More," you whisper to him, eyelids heavy as your blurred view tries to find Renjun's eyes, and he briefly chuckles before granting your wish.

"Greedy are we?" He sets a faster pace this time, balls slapping against your ass where your wetness had already dripped down and probably seeped into the couch. Renjun feels so good, so happy, so fulfilled, and he is once again reminded why it was the right decision to forgive you. He is such a man, he thinks, and is reminded of a few minutes ago when you said that to him.

"Can you turn around for me, baby?" He asks, suddenly in the mood to watch your ass as he repeatedly disappears into you, and you comply, allowing him to pull out before getting on your hands and knees. Renjun grins seeing your beautiful ass in front of him, he gently slaps it two times before gently pressing on your back to get you to lie down for him again, though this time on your stomach. He enters you again, filling you up perfectly once again, like you were made for each other, and he puts his entire weight on you to be able to still whisper in your ear.

His fingers find your hair, not to pull, just to be there so you feel it, and as he rams himself inside repeatedly, he mumbles the dirtiest things to you, about how well you're taking him, how beautiful you look underneath him and how much he just loves to fuck you. And yes, he even goes into detail (damnit Donghyuck) about how perfectly tight you are for him. A hand sneaks between your body and the couch, fingers quickly finding your clit again and you whine.

"'s so good," you say, voice trembling, "love you s'much."

"I love you too, baby," Renjun responds, grinning ear to ear like a maniac because he just loves this effect he has on you. This might just be a fantasy, but he's sure he's the only one who could ever make you feel this good. And admittedly, even right now when you're not doing much except take it, you make him feel just as good.

"Fuck, I think I'm gonna cum," he grunts, and you whine, cunt clenching around him at the mere prospect of him reaching his high.

"Me too, God," you manage to bring out.

"Where do you want it?" Renjun asks. Although he already knows your answer, he loves hearing you say it.

"I-inside, please," you mewl, arching your back a bit more to give him perfect access, "cu- cumming, cumming, cumming."

And just as you orgasm around him, walls wrapping around Renjun's cock impossibly tight, he follows suit, pressing his hips against your ass to fill you as deeply as possible. He pushes in a few more times to really get it all in there, have all his cum so deep inside you'll still feel it the next day.

"God, fuck, I love you so much," he pants, now a little exhausted as the adrenaline washes off. He pulls out, allowing you to turn around on your back and smile at him. God, he loves seeing you fucked out like this.

"I love you," you reply, then your nose scrunches and Renjun remembers that, when you shoot cum inside someone, it's going to inevitably drip back out, and he doesn't have to ruin his couch any more than he already did.

______

Renjun's arm is draped over your body, cuddling and talking in bed after the intense 4 rounds you just had, and maybe Renjun should've seen it coming, but honestly? How could he? So he jumps as he hears the doorbell ring.

"Who the fuck..." he mumbles as he gets up, puts on some underwear (at least) and stumbles to the door.

"Tell them to come back tomorrow, I'm not done with you," you giggle behind him as you slip into one of Renjun's shirts and a pair of panties you find laying on the floor. Renjun grins and throws you a wink before turning on the speaker.

"Hello?"

"Congratulations!"

"What the fuck are you asshats doing here?" Renjun groans and hides his face in his unoccupied hand. You have stepped over and are now pressing your ear against the speaker to be able to listen as well.

"We heard the news and came to celebrate?" Jaemin says.

"Actually, we didn't know how it went so we brought booze either for celebrating or for condolences. We took a wild guess," Donghyuck adds.

"How do you even-"

"Your mom told me."

"I don't think I appreciate you being involved with my mom..."

"Your words, not mine. Now open up."

"We're not exactly... dressed appropriately," Renjun informs and he can hear Jaemin howl and Donghyuck laugh.

"Let us in, we'll give you 2 minutes," Jaemin says.

"As if I'm going to believe you'd be passing an opportunity to barge in and see my girlfriend in her undies," Renjun says.

"Open up!" Donghyuck pushes.

"We just fucked four times!" You chime in, and Renjun isn't sure why you needed to clarify what didn't need to be clarified. Especially since, except for a few cheers that die down quickly, it's silent for a good 20 seconds until Donghyuck informs you that the old lady living two floors below just came home and most definitely heard that.

"Just let us in," Jaemin shouts right into the speaker and Renjun has to hold it away from his ear to not go deaf.

"Are you okay with this? I'm sure I could make them leave... somehow..."

"Sure! I could take two more," you joke and Renjun squints at you, making you teasingly roll your eyes. "Kidding."

"Okay, give us a few," Renjun says and just hangs up before they can complain. You both run into the bedroom and get changed into relatively acceptable clothing and Renjun has the decency to at least open a window to make the strong smell of sex lighten a bit before he checks in with you again, then opens the door.

Donghyuck and Jaemin's hollers can be heard echoing through the hallways until they finally show up at Renjun's door step.

"Nice work, man," Jaemin compliments as he sees the state of your still slightly tousled hair, and pats Renjun's back. They take off their shoes and let themselves in. While Jaemin stores the alcohol they brought in the fridge, Donghyuck skips into the living room to occupy Renjun's phone charger.

Oh, no. The living room.

Renjun darts after him, holding onto the door frame to not fall from the immense speed of his sprint, but it's too late. Donghyuck is already grinning at the used tissues scattered around the place and Renjun's underwear dangling from the uplight.

"You really are just high on pussy, it seems," Donghyuck teases, clearly hinting at how Renjun forgave you too (?) quickly. "You're not thinking straight. Or too straight..."

"You don't even know the whole story," Renjun defends himself while crossing his arms.

"Don't worry man, I'm not judging. I feel like this is the right thing for you," Donghyuck says and Renjun is surprised at his choice of words... such a... lack of disgusting-ness? Donghyuck even trots over and places a brotherly hand on Renjun's shoulder and gives him a smile.

"Thank you," Renjun says and means it. Donghyuck takes a few steps back, bows, then his eyes lock in on something on the floor.

"I think I'm taking these with me," Donghyuck announces before bending down further and holding up your panties with his forefinger.

"Don't you dare-" Renjun warns, but Donghyuck already started pushing the fabric into his pocket.

"Take it out," you say, suddenly appearing behind Renjun. Donghyuck seems taken aback, especially as you step over and grab his hair. "Give. Them. Back."

You pull hard, only once, and Donghyuck moans, but complies, and Renjun is party impressed and partly enraged.

"Starting without me?" Jaemin grins as he, too, has appeared in the room by now.

"Guys, I think we need some boundaries regarding my girlfriend," Renjun hisses through grit teeth. You agree, finally letting go of Donghyuck's hair who falls to his knees. Jaemin shrugs and sits down on the couch just as Renjun stuffs the used tissues into his pocket.

"What do you say?" You address Donghyuck who whines out a pathetic apology. You grin. "Sorry, this is kind of fun," you whisper to Renjun.

"I mean if you want to, you could talk like that to me every once in a while-" Renjun mumbles back, immediately feeling you cling to his side.

"Yeah?" You bite your lip.

"There was some talk about boundaries?" Jaemin recalls and you back off a bit. "When I can't have it, at least don't rub it in my face- unless you're going to literally rub it in my face-"

"I swear to God-"

© 2023 YUTASBELLYBUTTONPIERCING all rights reserved — please DO NOT translate, take, nor repost any of my works.

[fangirlandtheories]

Do you remember when we used to sing?

Eddie is away on tour while Steve is taking care of their daughter a few hours away. Too bad she can't fall asleep without her special bedtime song...

--

Steve’s brows pinched together as the cries grew in pitch and volume, almost drowning out the familiar click of ‘Hey it’s Eddie, call me back or don’t, I’m not your mother.’ from the speaker of his phone. 

He had shifted from frustrated to desperate as he glanced over at their daughter, red faced and snot nosed. Bedtime was a solid hour past due and didn’t seem to be looming any closer. 

“It’s okay, sweets, we’ll call him again.” Steve soothed as he ran a hand down the toddler’s back. 

“Daddy!!!” She screamed again, choking with the effort of her sobs, as she squeezed her eyes shut. It had been love at first sight for Eddie and Steve when they had met Rayne’s mother. She was young, just turning 20 in the fall, with curly blonde hair and big brown eyes. She was looking for someone who wanted a baby that couldn’t naturally have their own and the agent connected the dots for them. After several months, little Rayne was theirs.

“I know,” Steve muttered as he pulled up Eddie’s contact again. Eddie had taken a break from touring after the adoption of their daughter but had recently started back up. It started off pretty well, the excitement of getting to have a Dad weekend with Steve pulling her through, but now the newness was gone and all little Rayne Munson-Harrington wanted was Eddie. 

Eddie usually found weekend gigs but had found a week long slot in a club in St. Louis that promised great publicity and even better payment, so Corroded Coffin hit the road and Steve held down the fort with some help from Robin and Wayne. They were obligated to babysit, she was named after both of them afterall, and he was grateful because work had been taxing enough without adding a feisty 4 year old to the mix. 

A flu bug was sweeping it’s way through Hawkin’s Elementary and it spared no casualties in Steve’s kindergarten classroom. He spent the day trying to keep the class from putting things in their mouths and making sure everyone washed their hands, sending a child or two home after seeing the greenish pale tints of nausea pass over their faces. He knew that he’d have to deal with kids puke at some point, especially as a parent, but he’d like to avoid it at all costs. 

“Pick up your phone you ass.” He hissed through clenched teeth, rocking the inconsolable girl in his arms as he dialed again.

***

Eddie first felt the familiar jolt of vibration in his back pocket  just after the first chorus. The second time was just a few verses later. He smiled into the microphone as he continued to sing, ignoring his phone. The third time was in the bridge of the song, a particularly terrible time to take a call as Eddie’s hands were preoccupied with his guitar. The fourth time happened in the final notes of the song. The fifth during the applause. Eddie frowned as he pulled the device from his pocket, ignoring a glare from Jeff.

“Hey guys, you won’t believe this but my husband is facetiming me right now. This is like the fifth time he’s called so I’m going to answer, everybody be quiet and let’s see how long it takes him to remember that we had a later show tonight.” Eddie laughed as the audience silenced quickly. Steve’s irritated yet grateful face popped up on the screen seconds later.

“Hey love…” He crooned with a cheeky smirk.

“Your daughter is very upset with you.” Steve ignored the affectionate nickname. 

“Why is she my daughter whenever she’s mad?” Eddie rolled his eyes. “Is she alright?”

“She’s been screaming since 8:30 Eds.” Steve ran a hand through his hair and blew out an exasperated sigh. “She’s refusing to sleep until you do it, that’s why I’ve been calling.”

“Steve I’m um…” Eddie glanced nervously at the audience in front of him. “Kind of in the middle of something.”

“Yeah I wanted to be relaxing right now too but our kid needs her dad and since he’s five hours away the very least he could do is sing her the damn song so that we all can get some rest.” Steve squinted at him. “You’re being weirder than usual. Are the guys there with you?”

“Yeah the guys are definitely with me.” Eddie ignored Gareth’s snicker. “Can I call you-”

“Edward, so help me God, sing the song so that she can go to sleep.” Steve interrupted. “Look at her.” Steve turned the camera to the distraught little girl and Eddie’s heart clenched.

“Hi angel, I hear you’re a little sad.” He frowned in solidarity with her as her lip stuck out. “No, don't cry, it’s okay Ray Ray.” She howled louder, tears popping from her wet lashes. He winced as he lip quivered, his resolve wearing down to nothing. He glanced over at Gareth, leaning over to whisper to him before looking back to his phone.

“Alright fine, let’s sing it, yeah?” Eddie placated. “You’re breaking my heart Bambi.” The wide eyes and long lashes practically gifted the nickname to her. He glanced back at Gareth who gave him a thumbs up before looking at the audience. “Daddy’s band is going to help him sing it, is that okay?” Rayne whimpered as she nodded, snuggled into Steve’s arms as he held the phone in front of her.

“Wait, are you on stage right now?” Steve leaned forward. “Shit, I’m sorry babe, I didn’t mean to interrupt the performance.”

“You couldn’t interrupt if you tried.” Eddie smiled. “Isn’t that right?” Steve could hear cheers from the audience. “We love our rock and roll family here and we honor our traditions, most of all the bedtime song. Ready boys? Sing along if you know it, our most honored guest is in the audience tonight and would love to hear you guys.”

With that, Jeff  played the opening notes on the guitar while Gareth tapped out the beat with the rarely used tambourine. The bass thumped along to Eddie’s singing, and though it admittedly wasn’t their usual style, the band loved Rayne like she was their niece and they would play anything to make her happy.

“-In the misty morning fog with our hearts a-thumping” Eddie held the microphone in one hand and the phone in the other, beaming at the smile on Steve’s face. “And you, my brown eyed girl.” Rayne giggled and clapped, tears still on her cheeks but sadness having finally passed. 

***

Hours and miles away, Steve smiled as he shut the door to his daughter's bedroom, the nightlight softly glowing, as he hummed the song to himself. Tomorrow there would be a series of tweets about Eddie going soft and videos flying all around the internet, but for now, and for the first time that evening, the Munson-Harrington home was quiet.

[user2772636]

Douzième Fille

12th girl

××《☆》××

××《☆》××

Looking back at the day you first met, you realise how far you've gone. You appreciate the little things in life and some little people, too.

===

Joseph Descamps x Reader

Warnings: This is literally just plain fluff, LAST CHAPTER OF DOUZIÈME FILLE!!!

===

===

Chapter ten: I love you

===

You had six best days of your life.

Paris, France. 1973.

The wedding was one of the best days of your life. You had a beautiful gown, a beautiful cathedral, a beautiful ceremony, and a beautiful husband.

Everything was perdect from the venue, to the food, to the gifts, and to the guests.

You saw old friends. Callum, of course, came and was pronounced man of honour by Joseph. Simone and Jean Pierre had gotten locked in about two years ago, right after they finished college. Michèle and Laubrac came back after profuse apologies of leaving. They haven't married each other yet, but you have a feeling it's soon. Also because Joseph told you that Laubrac told him that he'll propose soon.

Europe Trip, 1973

The second best day of your life was your honeymoon. You and your now husband went around Europe. Going to places you've already been and places you haven't gone to.

A side note, you left that celebrity profile ages ago. It was too toxic anyway, with all the drama you didn't want to get into. Callum did the opposite of this. You're happy for him. And his fiancé, or as he likes to call him, his husband.

Bordeux, 1974

Moving was hard, but it was the third best day of your life. And carrying Briseis was a part of it.

Briseis, your first born. She was named after a character from the Iliad, the same Iliad you had presented in that project with Joseph back in high school.

She was as bright as her father, always laughing and wanting to have fun. Joseph loves her so much to the point that he will always be the one to put her back to sleep when she wakes in the early morning. He does that because he loves you, too.

Bordeux, 1976

The fourth best day of your life was when you gave birth to George.

George was named after your late cat you had in high school. He was taken care of both you and Joseph, which held a special place in your heart. Truly, George, your cat was your first child. But, let's not forget Briseis.

Briseis was two now, gaining the ability to speak, walk, run, whatever drained her unsifting energy. You were most proud, as well as your loving husband.

One of these nights, you'd catch him talking to both of them, talking about whatever they wanted to talk about, telling them stories, showing them fun. They fall sound asleep after, and you, for one, are grateful for him.

Also, you adopted two cats. One Achilles, one Patroclus. What? You couldn't help it.

Bordeux, 1980

Only a few months ago, your beautiful Callum was born. He was obviously named after your best friend. Callum cried when he found out. That was the fifth best day of your life.

He flew all the way to where you lived, seeing as now he lived with his lover in Sicily. He gave him countless amounts of gifts, even the ones month old babies couldn't use.

The house was fully packed. Your three children, two pets, and a mother and a father. Their very beautiful father.

You were in your 30s now, and you're so glad you're in this age with him by your side.

You sit in your husbands office, reading a book in the corner of the room. He was finishing up some papers, cigarettes between his lips, and sometime later blowing out the smoke.

You were halfway through a stanza when you heard a record break. Music started playing, the volume going up slowly. You look up from your hardcover to Joseph standing there, hands in his pockets and an eye on you. You raise your eyebrows. He does so, too.

"Dance with me, honey." He says, walking towards you slowly after he butted his cigarette out. You roll your eyes, putting your book down.

"You'll wake the kids up with that music." Even after saying that, you get up anyways, grabbing the hands he offered you a while ago.

He shrugs simply, sliding a hand on your hip and raising his other. "We'll take them back to sleep then. Dance with me." He presses his forehead to yours, kissing the tip of your nose.

You can't help but close your eyes, relaxation hitting your body like a truck. It's been a while since you felt like this. You both had been so busy with work or with the kids. You needed this. He did, too.

He starts to hum along the song. "I can see it in your eyes that you despise the same old lies you heard the night before."

Your mind flashes back to your high school days. The weeks of ignoring each other was wasting time that could've been used for loving instead.

"And though it's just a line to you, for me, it's true and never seemed so right before."

You look back at the first day of school. You thought you hated him. You thought he hated you. But in trutg it was the opposite, he confessed. He loved you the second he laid eyes on you, and you had been too blind to see, trying to distract yourself from the fact you did actually love him, too.

"I practice every day to find some clever lines to say to make the meaning come true. But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late and I'm alone with you."

Seven years you were away from each other. He told you how much he missed you that night after the gala. He told you he prepared, he practised, because he didn't want to mess anything up. You told him nothing could because even after convincing yourself in high school that you didn't love him, you still did.

"The time is right. Your perfume fills my head. The stars get red, and, oh, the night's so blue." He turns you to spin, and you get back to your place in front of him, swaying with a hand on his chest.

"And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like, "I love you. "" He looks deep into your eyes, now staying still. He takes your lifted hand to his lips, pressing his pretty pink lips on it.

"I love you." He says, the instruments in the background adding to the moment. You smile, and he mirrors you. You place a kiss on those lips, tilting your head a bit. You part away.

"I love you." You say, caressing his cheeks. You're so glad you ended up here. With him. This was your sixth favourite day of your life.

"Mommy? Daddy?" A tiny voice asks. You both turn your head to Briseis, eyes droopy and hair a mess. She walks closer to the two of you, and Joseph does the task of lifting her up to your level.

"Yes, sweetheart? Why aren't you asleep?" Joseph said gently, and you can't help but show a smile.

"I can't. I wanna hear a story." You two nod at each other before carrying on to turn the record player off and heading to Briseis' room.

Once you tuck her in well, leaving the bedside lamp on, you question. "Alright, which story do you want for tonight." Joseph sits on the other side, brushing your daughter's hair with his fingers.

"How did you two meet?" She asks, fluffing her blanket up. You and Joseph look at each other, smiling knowingly, before you continue.

"Well, this is where it started. It was 1963. They mixed boys and girls in the same school. I was the twelfth girl."

××《☆》××

End - Chapter ten: I love you/Douzième Fille Series

××《☆》××

The series has officially ended. I'm so sad and so happy at the same time. I can't believe it. It's been so long with this series, and it's over. Our babies have grown up and have their own babies.

To all the people who read this, thank you so much for keeping up with it. This was my first ever series, and its amazing how many people have come and followed the journey.

This is a memory that'll be embedded in me for the rest of my fuckign life, no matter how cringe that sounds, but it's true. I made a lot of memories with an online fanfic series. it's crazy

I love you all so much and want to thank you guys for the support. I will continue writing for joseph it just depends on my mood. I will now start to write for other ppl, like u guys saw me post abt hamzah.

ANWWW, it's been a journey. Thank you again, and I hope you all enjoyed it.

[fappinreborn]

Hello this IS NOT the VR Anon but I wanted to say I LOVED that story! Props to you and that anon!

I have a chapter idea for it if you want to continue it? Name: you choose. Pregnancy: 41 weeks Labor: Not yet (First contraction in 2 days, 3 hours, 56 minutes ) Baby: 1 (10lbs) Current Activity: Home alone reading. Birth plan: Hospital The player see's that she's home alone and waiting for her husband to get home in about 2 hours or so, the player also see's that she's in just a tang top and a loose mini skirt, it is summer after all. The player activates her labor and speeds it up. The woman can't even get up and reach for her phone. The player get's to see her spread her legs that shows she's not wearing any underwear and starts pushing. Right as the head starts to crown the player get's a text or something that says he needs to make a call, the player not wanting to miss the birth see's the option: Would you like to pause the labor? You may un-pause at anytime. So the player hit's pause but leave's the head set on but lowers the volume and takes the call for almost two hours, once the call is done he put's the headset back on and sees the woman right where he left off, right as he hears the door unlock he hits play again and the woman gives birth.

Pregnancy Control Part 2

After a good session yesterday, I went out to seek more target. I decided to jog around the neighborhood in my morning run to see if I found my target.

Soon enough, a name popped up, and the status was perfect! Name: Sylvie. Pregnancy: 41 weeks Labor: Not yet (First contraction in 2 days, 3 hours, 56 minutes ) Baby: 1 (10lbs) Current Activity: Home alone reading. Birth plan: Hospital I took control of her pregnancy and began tinkering. Her husband's going to come home in roughly 2 hours, so I got a time to kill. Since the link can't be untethered, I decided to start it by giving her some mild labor contractions, just giving her some small start while I walk home.

When I arrived home, I can see her sitting on the yoga ball to ease her labor, wearing her tank top and loose mini skirt, with some panties underneath. She has called her husband to tell him that she's in labor, but told him to relax as it's still early.

She put the phone on the bed before waddling around the house and I saw a solitary sofa chair that's perfect for where she'll give birth. I controlled her to sat there to relax, while I prepared the acceleration.

With a single button, her labor accelerated quickly into her 2nd stage, followed by water breaking, splashing all over. I locked her in place so she couldn't move to grab the phone and unable to remove her panties.

She panicked and began pushing hard, the baby's head descending slowly since there's still time until her husband's home.

Soon enough, the head began to crown and she screamed in pain and panic as she can feel the panties are still intact, holding the baby in. Still, she persisted and kept on pushing, trying to fight her own panties. I made her struggle to even get the head to fully crown so it took her almost 1 hour just to get the head to fully crown.

I could see the panties are still holding up, so I decided to let the head out. The baby's head slipped out, making a huge bulge in her panties. She took a breather before pushing again with no avail.

This went for a long time, until her husband's just seconds away from entering the house. As soon as the husband opened the door, he saw her poor wife struggling to give birth, panicked and rushed in. At the same time, I let the mother finally push the baby out and into her panties, finally finishing off her birth.

I came hard from that. The app has proven to be really useful and I can't wait to find more targets.

[nightmarerodent]

I need more of that sweet kung Jin angst

Ask and you shall receive 😈 This one came out more hurt and comfort tho. Hope that’s ok.

Kung Jin knew he should have expected they’d try to pull something like this, prideful assholes that they were. He just wasn’t expecting how pissed off the whole thing would make him. How pissed off they would make him.

After months of research, planning, and preparations, of getting pointers from Scor- Grandmaster Hasashi, and with the aid of Lord Fujin, Kung Jin was able to enter the Netherrealm and bring his uncle home at long last. It was a remarkable feat, one that his friends wanted to help with, but one that he insisted he had to do alone. Jacqui, to his surprise, was the hardest to convince. Though with how the Briggs household stressed the importance of family, he came to understand why she was so insistent. Takeda talked her down though. This had been a mater of honor, something he understood well. If he needed them, he’d call. She practically forced him to promise to do so at the first sign of trouble.

After three grueling months he returned home with a restored Kung Lao. After some days recovering a celebration was held at the Wu Shi. Johnny put the whole thing together, and new and old defenders alike gathered to welcome their lost brother home as well as catch up. He should have known news of his success and his uncle’s return would have reached his family.

He didn’t notice when they arrived. His back had been turned as he and Jacqui exchanged playful witty jabs that had their friends laughing, Takeda’s arm wrapped around his girlfriend’s waist and Cassie recording the whole thing for posterity. The academy’s wine stores had been broken into hours before and they were all thoroughly buzzed. Probably why he was so willing to cause a scene in front of his new friends. Some of which didn’t know the full extent of his oh so tragic backstory.

“Jin Jin!” He heard his mother’s overly kind, well practiced, voice call out, causing the hairs on the back of his neck to shoot up and all air to vacate his lungs.

The group’s voices silenced immediately, sensing his drastic shift in mood as he whipped himself around and came face to face with the people he hoped he’d never see again. His mother and father, dressed to the nines and without a hair out of place, his sister, the only one with an apologetic smile and ‘I’m sorry’ eyes, her dick head of a husband and his upturned nose, wishing he was anywhere but here, some younger cousins or nephews he’s never seen before, born after his exile from the family compound. Smiles were painted on painted lips. The stench of expensive perfume slapped you in the face. His mother always did love to flaunt their wealth and status in front of the lesser folk.

“Oh, there’s my brave boy,” her honeyed words tastes like soured milk, “I always knew you’d live up expectations, even after running away.”

“Ran… away…?” Jin couldn’t quite process what he was hearing.

“You caused such a stir, you should have heard what those snakes were hissing, but we can look past all of that now. They’ll be biting their tongues after this. You’ve brought such honor to the family bringing Kung Lao back to us. And thwarting Shinnok too! A statue has already been made in your likeness to add to Raiden’s collection,” she continued, “You’ve done well to cement the family name into that of legend.”

“Ran away?” Jin just dumbly repeated, anger started to boil over.

“I know we have a lot to discuss once we get back home,” it was his father’s turn to speak, “You are expected to take up responsibility now that you’re a man of the family, but we can speak more on that later. For now, let’s enjoy the festivities.”

“I’m sorry, ran away?!” Kung Jin’s voice dripped venom and his volume rose with each syllable, “Are you ready trying to spin it that I ran away?! Is that what you’ve been telling people?!”

“Jin, that’s no way to speak to your-” his mother tried but he cut her off.

“You bastards kicked me out! You said I was a disgrace! ‘Blight on the family name’. That’s what you called me, right?” Jin spat, not caring that he was undoubtedly making a scene.

“It was hard for everyone but I realize now my mistake,” his father put a hand on his shoulder, “We’ve all talked it over and we’re willing to look past your… affliction. The head of the Huang Mining conglomerate, Mr. Guo, you remember him, yes? He has a son with similar interests. We could arrange something. Perhaps if you two met we could-”

Jin swatted his father’s hand away as if it burned his flesh. Of course. Of fucking course. Of course they’d come here and try to take his accomplishment as their own. Or course they’d only accept him back into the fold if it benefited them in some way. Fuck that and fuck them. Whatever BS his parents were trying to pull, he’ll have none of it.

“My affliction?” He got in his father’s face, “I’m gay, not diseased. You threw me out onto the streets at fourteen because I didn’t fit your oh so precious image of the great and mighty Kung name. I had to make it on my own, look after myself, for years and in that time I’ve realized that I don’t need or want you. I don’t need to regain my honor because I never lost it. If anything it’s you people bringing shame to the family, not me!”

“Watch your tone, Kung Jin! I am still your father!”

“If I could remove your blood from my veins and give it back I would.”

A few things happened next, or perhaps a bit before. Jin was too preoccupied with his family to notice his team behind him. He didn’t see the look Takeda and Jacqui shared or her squeezing his arm and nodding before letting him go. He didn’t see Cassie about to march up and give his family a piece of her mind. He didn’t see Jacqui stopping her to whisper something in her ear or her bringing her phone back up and hitting record.

He did notice, however, the hand of his best friend clasping his shoulder and bringing him back and the rush of external calm that came with Takeda entering his brain unannounced. He noticed how he turned Jin to face him, how he invited himself into his personal space.

“Calm down,” his friend shushed him, running one hand through his hair and drawing their faces alarmingly close to one another, “You’re causing a fuss.”

And Takeda kissed him. Like it was nothing at all, like it’s just a thing you do, Takeda kissed him.

Play along. Takeda’s voice rang in his head. We need to make this look good.

Takeda’s free hand took Jin’s and guided it to his hip. He grabbed on with a vice grip, the only thing keeping him grounded in whatever strange reality he had just found himself in, and pulled the smaller man in, deepening the kiss and enticing an almost real sounding moan out of Takeda. Jin had no clue what the hell was going on. His, admittedly hot as fuck, best friend was kissing him in front of his homophobic parents. And said best friend’s girlfriend. And gods know who else. Jin thought he heard a laugh but his mind was too preoccupied with the impromptu make out session going on to pay it any mind.

You’re a shit kisser by the way.

Jin broke it off and pulled away, “Well, fuck off. Judgmental prick!”

“Damn,” Cassie approached them, a smug looking Jacqui not far behind, “They clearer out before you two could start humping each other. That would have done numbers on social.”

Jin looked around and sure enough, his family was nowhere to be seen, running to the hills in the face of such a shameful act as two men kissing. He hadn’t even heard them scurrying off.

“Worked like a charm though,” Takeda’s face was flushed but otherwise he looked rather proud of himself, “I don’t think they’ll be bothering us anymore tonight.”

“They better not because Plan B is punching them,” Jacqui added.

“I thought Plan B was inviting them to the orgy?” Cassie asked jokingly.

“You need five people for it to be an orgy, Cass. Otherwise it’s just a four way.” Takeda told her.

“Then we invite Frost. Problem solved.” Cassie rolled her eyes dismissively.

“I’m sorry. Slow down. What the fuck just happened?” Jin interjected, bringing the conversation back on track and away from whatever brain worm tangent they were currently going down.

“Why the hell did you just kiss me?” He asked Takeda before turning his attention to the usually territorial Briggs, “And why are you cool with it?”

“It was my idea,” Jacqui shrugged, nonchalant in her response.

“We figured you’d appreciate us messing with them Kung Jin style rather than just simply telling them off,” Takeda explained, returning to his girlfriend’s side, “Sorry for springing it on you like that. Didn’t have a lot of time to warn you.”

Kung Jin looked between the two of them, trying to decide if he was violated or not, but everything felt so unreal at the moment. Because they were right. This kind of stunt is absolutely the kind of thing he would pull if the rolls were reversed and it was Takeda dealing with some bigot clan elder with Master Hasashi away. He’d absolutely start making out with Tak to prove a point. But in that alt reality they were missing one key detail.

“Aren’t you straight?” Jin asked, “Elder Gods, I leave for three months and you all lose your minds. What the hell is this? What happened to blushing virgin Takeda? Where’d that guy go?”

Takeda shrugged, “Alcohol?”

“We got your back, Jin. Got the whole thing on camera too!” Cassie interjected, sliding next to Jin to show him the footage, “Get a load of their faces! I think your mom is having an aneurysm. Lady in the back is laughing her ass off. She your sister?”

Jin watch it over and had to admit, his parent’s reactions were priceless. The horrified look of disbelief and disgust on his father’s face at the sheer boldness of the act and his mother popping blood vessels beneath her pound of makeup were gold. What was priceless though was his older sister. Her cracking up in genuine laughter, a horrid cackle that she hated but couldn’t contain when surprised with pure delight, and having to be dragged off by her fuming husband. Even before he left such things were a rarity from her. He’d have to get Cassie to send him a copy.

“Better hope this doesn’t get back to Mr. Briggs, Takahashi.” Jin chuckled, letting himself just exist in the absurdity of the whole situation, “Otherwise he’ll beat your ass for cheating on his daughter.”

“I had permission!” Takeda defended himself.

“Gods, what a slut,” Jin continued, “Jacqui, you gotta get rid of this guy. He’s no good.”

“Maybe I like bad boys,” Jacqui quipped.

“Then find someone that doesn’t panic at the thought of being two minutes late for an appointment.” Cassie fired back.

“Hey, early is on time. On time is late.” Takeda insisted.

And just like that they were right back into their usual banter, all thought of Kung Jin’s family gone from their minds. Jin’s mind would cycle back to it periodically throughout the night. How his parents were only interested in him after he accomplished great things, how they expected him to be grateful that they were letting him back in and expected him to go along with it, and how they were apparently planning to sell him off. It angered him. Enraged him. But then there was his team, willing to shotgun a plan together to help him, to back him up, no question. Even when they had no context as to what was going on. It lightens his soul to know that this rag tag group of idiots had his back no matter what; that he still had a family outside of just his uncle.

So fuck his parents. And fuck their pride. In the end, he’ll be the one really upholding the values and honor that come with the Kung name. They can rot for all he cared.

[frankenkyle19]

Comforting Car Ride

request

warnings: Kai’s shit stain of a father, abuse, mentions of abuse and crude language

word count: 1.1K

(Bro we gotta make more gifs of precult!Kai because I cannot find ANY)

You had been invited over to the Anderson’s for dinner. Taco night. You were a bit nervous as you’d only been to Kai’s a few times before, and his parents were almost never there when you two were. 

You had also heard about his fathers outbursts. Kai told you not to worry too much about it. That his father would hopefully behave himself with a guest over. 

You had gotten dressed that day, going through at least five outfits before finding one you figured would be acceptable. Fancy, but not overly so. You weren’t try to be a showoff, just simply wanted to make a good impression.

You knocked when you got there, Kai’s mother answering the door with a bright smile. She looked happy to see you, and from what Kai had told you about her, she seemed like a nice woman. 

“It’s so great to meet you! Kai’s told us so much about you!” She smiled, pulling you into a too tight hug. You shook off your uncomfort and plastered a smile onto your red lips. She led you into the house and to the kitchen, pulling a chair out from the table for you. You sat with a grateful nod.

You asked if there was anything you could do to help, but she simply shook her head and brushed you off. You’re the guest, she insisted with a smile as she scurried around the kitchen, plating the tacos.

“Boys! Dinner!!” She called, bringing the plates to the table. She set yours down in front of you with a big smile. It smelled great. Tacos were definitely one of your favorites, and that’s exactly why she had made them. 

Soon you heard the thudding of footsteps and Kai emerged from the basement, his hair a mess, eyes tired and downcast. He looked like he’d been asleep. His eyes lit up when he saw you, taking a seat next to you before thanking his mom for dinner. You opened your mouth to speak when you heard the sound of his dads electric wheelchair rolling down the hall towards the kitchen. You saw Kai visibly tense, that bright cheerful look he had quickly fading back to his usual gloomy downcast look. 

You smiled politely when his dad wheeled up to the table, looking at his wife expectedly. You put your hands in your lap under the table. Everything was so silent. Like everyone was walking on eggshells.

The second Mrs. Anderson sat the plate down in front of her husband, you knew exactly why.

In a split second he had thrown the plate onto the ground, eyes wide and full of fury.

“Tacos?! Dammit! You know they’re too spicy for me!”

Kai flinched at the increase in volume, glancing between his mom and dad anxiously. His mom bent down to pick up the mess that had been thrown onto the floor, obviously trying to keep the peace.

“I know hun, that’s why I used mild salsa.” There was no malice in her voice. No sarcasm, but Mr. Anderson still seemed to get infinitely more mad at her choice of words.

“Who are you fucking?!” He screamed, grabbing her by her hair and pulling her to look at him. Kai tensed even further, and you sat on the edge of your seat. Literally, ready to get up at a moment's notice. 

“Honey- not in front of Kai-“

“He shouldn’t know who his moms fucking now that his dad can’t please her no more?!” He shouted, gripping her harder as his gaze turned to Kai.

“You’ll learn one day, son, women are good for nothing sluts. Leave ya the second you can’t make em’ happy anymore. You’ll learn soon enough-“ he let his gaze fall to you now. “She’ll leave ya. You fucked her yet? Pfft, probably ain’t good enough, just you wait. She’ll break your heart.” 

Kai refuses to look up from his plate, laser focused on his taco shell like if he kept staring at it, it’d transport him far away from here.

Thinking on your feet, you stood up, clearing your throat as you wiped off the front of your shirt to make sure it wasn’t wrinkled.

“It’s my fault, sir. Kai knows how much I love tacos and he asked Mrs. Anderson to make them.. I had no idea you couldn’t eat them.” You felt tears forming in your eyes that you tried desperately to push back down. 

“I can go out right now to go get something else. How do hamburgers sound?” 

He slowly released his grip on his wife’s hair, who in turn scrambled to her feet, dusting herself off and wiping at her eyes before turning to you. She looked grateful as you two shared a glance.

“I suppose that works. See, a woman who knows her place.” Mr. Anderson scoffed, looking from you to his wife. “You ought to learn a lesson or two from her.”

You quickly grabbed your purse and smiled, taking Kai’s hand “do you mind if he comes with me? I’ve got to pick up a few things and I could use his strength.”

Truth be, you didn’t have anything to pick up that you needed Kai for, but you could see he needed out of this situation.

Both his parents agreed and you and Kai all but ran out of the house to your car. When Kai got in the passenger's seat he took a heavy deep breath, laying his head back against the seat. You quickly started the car and pulled out do his driveway, glancing over at him with a frown. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No… there’s nothing to talk about is there? My dads a piece of shit and my moms still with him…” He brought a hand over his face, rubbing at his eyes as he glanced out the window. He hadn’t made eye contact with you the entire time, you realized.

With your eyes on the road, you brought one of your hands down to his thigh, rubbing comforting circles into it as you smiled. You had made it a goal to get him to open up. You didn’t need it right now, but eventually you hoped he would trust you enough to really really talk to you about his life. 

“I love you Kai, and I’m always going to be here, okay? You don’t have to do this alone. Ever. I’m right here by your side.”

He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. You knew exactly how he felt about you, and you knew exactly how you felt about him, too. 

[athanza]

"Snowfall" - Part IV

Fem!reader (from a non-canon, lesser known house) + Aemond Targaryen (romantic) + Rhaenyra Targaryen (platonic) + Damon Targaryen (platonic) + Helaena Targaryen (platonic)

Tags: Family drama, royal politics, romance, platonic fluff, angst, lots of tention (good and bad), protective Aemond, protective Rhaenyra, found family

Warnings: An attempted SA, mentions of parent death during childbirth, parental abuse, canon violence, Aegon being a creep, canon swearing, a little bit of light smut later down the line but nothing too nsfw.

Summary: Elisana's father brings her with him to King's Landing when he's summoned by the Queen to discuss a rebellion in his territories. Her and Prince Aemond begin to fall for each other but family secrets begin to surface and it creates a tense situation between her house and house Targaryen.

Part 1 | Part II | Part III

Araxi glared at Elisa as she towered over her, almost thirty feet in length, her young and not yet battle-hardened scales gleaming.

Elisa was in awe but terrified as she could tell by Araxi's body language that she was not happy she was there.

She began to slowly crawl backwards in the hopes of a chance of getting away but the glow appearing in the beast's throat burned those hopes to ashes.

Araxi opened her powerful jaws wide and just as the glow became blinding, Elisa held up her hand.

"Dohaeris!!" She yelled.

Araxi hesitated.

"Dohaeris Araxi!"

Araxi let out a roar so loud she knew it would have woken almost the entire palace and she winced from the sheer volume. She didn't know what the word meant but she remembered Jaecerys saying it to his dragon when they were children.

She pulled herself to her feet as she kept her hand raised in front of her, Araxi closed her jaw, hesitant but still restless.

"Dohaeris!!"

Something had changed in Araxi's eye, the malevolence had dissipated, although the danger was still present.

Aemond appeared at the mouth of the cave where they stood and his eye grew wide as he saw what was happening. He went to run forward and help her until he realised what was going on.

Araxi leant her huge head down and looked closely at Elisa, staring into her eyes. She snorted, the air almost pushing Elisa backwards.

"Dohaeris." She said once more, but it had been done.

Araxi had calmed.

"Elisa." Said Aemond.

The dragon looked up and scowled slightly and Elisa turned.

Aemond walked up to her as Araxi receded back into the depths of the cave and she embraced him. He held her earnestly as he thought on all of what had just happened, comforting her as she cried into his shoulder.

Just as soon as they returned to her chambers, they had been summoned. The dragonkeepers had informed the Queen of what had just transpired, and everyone had been called to gather.

Elisa walked hesitantly towards the council chambers, Aemond's hand resting reassuringly on her lower back. She knew what she had done and she knew the consequences would be dire. She feared being banished, never to see Aemond or Haelena again, she feared her father's wrath.

Aemond removed his hand as the doors opened for them and the others were already waiting, including Aegon who sat beside his mother with a swollen eye and cut lip.

She felt herself shrink as all heads turned towards her when she entered. Her father stood restlessly by the fire and he turned to her with an anger he had not seen before.

"You useless cunt of a girl!!" He yelled, storming toward her, but Aemond drew his blade and pointed it at him before he could step any closer.

Lord Eris stopped and glared at Aemond, knowing he was no match for him in a fight.

"Enough!" Alicent exclaimed. "Lord Eris, sit down! And Aemond, put that sword away or gods help you."

Aemond kept his blade at eye level, making lord Eris back down first, only then did he sheathe his sword.

"What's the matter?" Asked Rhaenyra, as she stood holding he pregnant belly, her hand in her husbands'.

Alicent didn't know how to start.

"The dragonkeepers sent word to me a short while ago, that they had seen the Lady Elisana in the dragon dungeons tonight, and that she had-" she hesitated. "Tamed Araxi."

Everyone's expressions shifted immediately.

"What?" Blurted Aegon.

"But only one of dragon blood can tame a dragon." Said Lucerys.

Everyone's eyes looked to Elisa again and she could hardly look any of them in the eye.

"Do the keepers speak the truth?"

"They have served this family for generations, I trust their word." Alicent replied.

"But then-" Said Jace.

"This is rubbish!" Declared Lord Eris. "My daughter has no Targaryen blood! Yes she has the colourings of a Targaryen but only from her mother who was a true-blood Lannister."

"Well she must or what has just happened should never have transpired." Added Rhaenyra.

"Elisa." Said Alicent, looking at her searchingly.

Elisa looked up at her, nearly quivering with fear at what was possibly to transpire.

"Who is your father?"

Elisa's heart beat faster by the moment and she tried so hard to keep her composure.

"Lord Eris Denaron, your grace."

"No." Said Alicent, her gaze even stronger now, holding Elisa in place. "Who is your real father."

"Your grace I-"

"Speak girl!" Said Daemon, sitting beside his wife. It was the first she had heard him speak since he arrived back in King's Landing.

Her eyes quivered slightly with tears, having still not had time to process her emotions from the events of the night. She promised she would tell no one.

"My father-" Every possible consequence for the words she was about to speak bolted through her mind and she saw no way out of this, no matter how hard she thought.

"My father...is Prince Daemon Targaryen." She revealed, almost at a stutter.

Their eyes, now widened, looked to Daemon, who seemed only somewhat less surprised than the others.

Rhaenyra let go of his hand as she processed the information but Lord Eris began laughing.

"Of course." He chuckled. "I knew that whore had a lover. And of course it was a fucking Targaryen!"

"Take care with your words Lord Eris!" Rhaenyra snapped.

"My mother told me of my real father as she lay dying. She must have intended to die with her secret but she was so feverish in her last moments, I-"

"Explain yourself Daemon." Said Alicent with an exasperated sigh.

Rhaenyra looked to him, also wishing for an answer.

"I visited Lord Eris' territories for a peace treaty many years ago. I bed Lady Lyara Denaron. She fell pregnant soon after, though I had no way of knowing if the child was mine...until I heard of her colouring."

"So you knew?" She asked.

He hesitated. "Yes."

"Gods be good!"

"What were you doing in the dragon dungeons in the first place?" Asked Lord Hightower, only now taking part in the conversation.

It was then she began to panic even more and she thought her heart would burst from her chest is was beating so fast. She couldn't tell thr Queen her son had tried to take her forcefully so soon after discovering the truth of her heritage.

"I-"

"We were training." Said Aemond.

Lord Eris' hateful gaze continued. "Training?"

"She wished to learn and so I was instructing her. She left early and came across Aegon."

Elisa looked to him and shook her head just slightly enough for the others not to see but he saw, he also saw the pleading look of fear in her eyes, but he knew his mother would believe him.

"He forced himself on her and she ran when I pulled him away. When I caught up with her she was face to face with the dragon. What the keepers said is true."

Alicent's face dropped in disappointment. She knew what Aemond said of Aegon was true, and so did everyone else.

"I promise you, your Grace, I did not tame Araxi on purpose. I only used a word I had heard Jacerys use on his dragon when we were children, I don't know what it means."

"I believe you." She replied.

"Please have mercy my Queen, I'm begging of you. If you wish to banish me, I will leave. If you wish me to serve you until my dying day, I will do so without argument."

Alicent's eyes flashed with pity at the girls words. She knew there was only one solution, but it would not go down easily with the council. As a mother, she couldn't bare to think of how Helaena would react if she could no longer see her childhood friend.

"Prince Daemon." She said. "Would you be willing to accept the Lady Elisana as your child and give them the name of Targaryen?"

The shock rippled from face to face.

"Your grace!" Exclaimed Lord Eris.

Daemon looked to his wife, the mother of his four children, two already were not her own, yet she mothered them as if they were.

Pushing aside her feelings of her husband's past discretions, she took his hand and gave him a look of assurance.

"I would." He said.

"Then I hereby declare Lady Elisana as your true blood, and her name now Lady Elisana Targaryen. Her ties with house Denaron are now forfeit and she may inherit no titles."

Elisa stood in the room feeling such overwhelming waves of emotion she couldn't think or say anything. Tears still flickered in her eyes but now for vastly different reasons.

"Take her." Spat Lord Eris. "I have no need of another whore in my family."

"I would also like to declare a betrothal." Queen Alicent added, ignoring him. "Of Lady Elisana Targaryen and my second son, Prince Aemond Targaryen."

The profound nature of these declarations were not taken lightly and were felt by everyone in the room.

Elisa's breath hitched at the second announcement and it felt as if the world was spinning. She didn't know how to react to any of this. She expected banishment, not a change of name and a betrothal, and not to the Queen's own son.

She turned to Aemond and he took her hand and kissed it, still as shocked as she was, though he hid it well.

"My lady." He said.

She squeezed his hand and looked back to the Queen.

"Your grace I- I have no words."

"Your heritage is no fault of yours, nor the taming of Araxi. Your discretions are of no consequence now that the truth of your bloodline is known. You are to live here in King's Landing as your new name requires of you."

She knew. Alicent knew she wanted to stay. She knew Lord Eris's temper, and she knew Elisa's feelings toward her son. She knew it all.

[atonalginger]

Snippet Sunday

It appears that Goose here is reading from a different fandom today: Fallout 4! I've been playing FO4 more recently and got the itch to write in the world again.

Thanks for the reminder, @therealgchu!

First bit follows follows the intro to the game with my Sole Survivor, Dawn.

Dawn thought her troubles were over. Her older sister, Nora, had completed law school and passed the bar first try. Her husband, Nate, was home from his tour in Alaska. They’d scored that nice new home in Sanctuary Hills on the outskirts of Boston and had a bouncing bundle of joy, Shaun. Living with them meant no longer having to listen to their mother nag her over not having a steady job and downplaying her military service to everyone in earshot. Instead Nate was trying to help her by talking with some of his old war buddies to see if anyone needed workers with her keen senses. Codsworth, the Mr. Handy Nate bought to help around the house, meant Dawn wasn’t stuck playing maid and nanny for them. Things were finally looking up.

Then that damn news broadcast started. Nora was downtown when the news hit that bombs had been dropped over several major cities. She called the house, yelling for Nate to take Dawn to the vault with him, to lie, to save her sister, before hanging up the phone. He didn’t argue, dragging her up the dirt path with Shaun in his arm, claiming she was Nora Melnik, and then hurrying to the elevator for the vault.

Dawn didn’t want to go. Nate dragged her because she tried to get away from him, to run for cover elsewhere. She knew one of his neighbors had a root cellar and wanted to try her luck getting let in there over getting trapped in a vault. Every time one of those damned advertisements played it made her skin crawl. Could never quite put her finger on why, only that it sounded too good to be true. How could they guarantee people would get inside in time? Wasn’t it convenient that every ‘lucky’ resident for vault 111 lived in Sanctuary Hills?

As the elevator dropped and the shield door slammed shut Dawn felt her stomach hit the bottom of the shaft. She swore she could feel the heat from the blast and everyone heard the deafening boom as they raced for the bottom. Nora was downtown. There was no way she made it to safety in time. Her sister was gone.

Nate calmed Shaun and stopped Dawn before they ascended the stairs to enter the vault proper, “I know what your thinking and stop.”

“This wasn’t my place,” she whispered back, “this isn’t fair.”

“It’s what she wanted,” Nate reminded her, “she took time to call.”

“Would you have left me with Codsworth?”

“No,” Nate shook his head, “I would have thrown you over my shoulder if I had to…”

“No wonder she calls you Grognak,” Dawn shook her head.

“All right everyone,” one of the lab coat wearing employees called out, “I know everyone is overwhelmed but if you could please make your way into the vault so we can get everyone acclimated and ready to descend further, it would be greatly appreciated.”

“Further down?” Dawn asked the employee, “How far down is the actual vault?”

“A few more levels,” the lab coat said with some hesitation, “first everyone needs to get changed and cleansed of any radiation you might have sustained on your journey down.

Dawn did her best to hide her reaction. None of that made sense. That wasn’t how radiation worked, for one. For another, his hesitation spoke volumes; this man wasn’t prepared for such questions, he was prepared for civilians too overwhelmed to speak. She glanced to Nate as they approached the metal steps and motioned for him to lean in. Once he did she whispered low enough that only they could here,

“something is wrong.”

“Gut feeling or…”

“I’ve met cagey fuckers like him before, during my service, and his type can’t be trusted. Something is wrong.”

Nate nodded and looked to Shaun, “noted.”

They made their way through the scanners and accepted their vault suits, which looked ridiculously tight compared the ones seen in the ads and commercials. As she slipped it on, leaving her street clothes in the changing room as instructed, she noted they were skin tight, with sensors places around the body. She’d worn something similar under her BDUs and field disguises alike, as a way for her handler to check her vitals. There was no reason for those sensors to be in a daily wear jumpsuit in the vault.

She met up with Nate and Shaun in a room at the end of the hall lined with large pods. Everyone was being instructed to climb inside before heading deeper into the vault. She wanted to talk to her brother-in-law once more but the lab coats all but forbade it, nearly shoving her into her pod. Every part of her brain screamed to run but there was no where to go and even if she managed to reverse the lift and go back to the surface, there was nothing to go back to anymore.

As the edges of the small window on the door of the pod began to freeze and her body started to succumb to the cold and sudden need for sleep she had a fleeting thought: This is wrong.

[bracketsoffear]

Uzumaki (3-in-1 Deluxe Edition) (Junji Ito) "I was debating if I should just do the first volume but three in one horrors sounded great to me. So Uzumaki is largely about spirals, to put the most obvious reasoning first. That's that Uzumaki translates to, after all. Spirals begin enveloping this small town, causing supernatural events. But the madness side of things comes as quickly as the spirals are there. You see it first in completely opposite ways with Shuichi's father and mother, with one becoming obsessed with spirals to the point of madness and eventually becoming one himself and the other being so terrified of spirals that it turns into its own psychological torment as she tries to remove spirals from her life and eventually realizes that those spirals are part of her naturally, causing her to try to take apart those aspects of her as well. Over chapters, characters become warped and characters succumb to the madness of spirals. Some fear the spirals, while others embrace them. Escaping the spirals is proven futile, and through that, it is also proven how out of sync the town is from reality as a whole, with time being sped up. Also, it has a labyrinth at this point, built by those suffering from the curse, so I think the Spiral would love that. In the end, the spirals are proven inescapable, and the two main characters warp together into a spiral of their own. The curse seems to end here, but really, it's a never ending cycle, and a curse which will never go away. The curse and the madness it brings won't fade."

The Yellow Wallpaper (Charlotte Perkins Gilman) "The story is written as a collection of journal entries narrated in the first person. The journal was written by a woman whose physician husband has rented an old mansion for the summer. Forgoing other rooms in the house, the couple moves into the upstairs nursery. As a form of treatment, the husband forbids the journal writer from working or writing, and encourages her to eat well and get plenty of air so that she can recuperate from what he calls a "temporary nervous depression – a slight hysterical tendency", a common diagnosis in women at the time. As the reader continues through the journal entries, they experience the writer's gradual descent into madness with nothing better to do than observe the peeling yellow wallpaper in her room." Link to Project Gutenberg

[rockislandadultreads]

Happy National Hispanic Heritage Month!

Mango, Mambo, and Murder by Raquel V. Reyes

Food anthropologist Miriam Quiñones-Smith's move from New York to Coral Shores, Miami, puts her academic career on hold to stay at home with her young son. Adding to her funk is an opinionated mother-in-law and a husband rekindling a friendship with his ex. Gracias to her best friend, Alma, she gets a short-term job as a Caribbean cooking expert on a Spanish-language morning TV show. But when the newly minted star attends a Women's Club luncheon, a socialite sitting at her table suddenly falls face-first into the chicken salad, never to nibble again.

When a second woman dies soon after, suspicions coalesce around a controversial Cuban herbalist, Dr. Fuentes - especially after the morning show's host collapses while interviewing him. Detective Pullman is not happy to find Miriam at every turn. After he catches her breaking into the doctor's apothecary, he enlists her help as eyes and ears to the places he can't access, namely the Spanish-speaking community and the tawny Coral Shores social scene.

As the ingredients to the deadly scheme begin blending together, Miriam is on the verge of learning how and why the women died. But her snooping may turn out to be a recipe for her own murder.

This is the first volume of the "A Caribbean Kitchen Mystery" series.

Our Share of Night by Mariana Enríquez

A young father and son set out on a road trip, devastated by the death of the wife and mother they both loved. United in grief, the pair travel to her ancestral home, where they must confront the terrifying legacy she has bequeathed: a family called the Order that commits unspeakable acts in search of immortality.

For Gaspar, the son, this maniacal cult is his destiny. As the Order tries to pull him into their evil, he and his father take flight, attempting to outrun a powerful clan that will do anything to ensure its own survival. But how far will Gaspar’s father go to protect his child? And can anyone escape their fate?

Moving back and forth in time, from London in the swinging 1960s to the brutal years of Argentina’s military dictatorship and its turbulent aftermath, Our Share of Night is a novel like no other: a family story, a ghost story, a story of the occult and the supernatural, a book about the complexities of love and longing with queer subplots and themes.

The Haunting of Alejandra by V. Castro

Alejandra no longer knows who she is. To her husband, she is a wife, and to her children, a mother. To her own adoptive mother, she is a daughter. But they cannot see who Alejandra has become: a woman struggling with a darkness that threatens to consume her. Nor can they see what Alejandra sees. In times of despair, a ghostly vision appears to her, the apparition of a crying woman in a ragged white gown.

When Alejandra visits a therapist, she begins exploring her family’s history, starting with the biological mother she never knew. As she goes deeper into the lives of the women in her family, she learns that heartbreak and tragedy are not the only things she has in common with her ancestors.

Because the crying woman was with them, too. She is La Llorona, the vengeful and murderous mother of Mexican legend. And she will not leave until Alejandra follows her mother, her grandmother, and all the women who came before her into the darkness. But Alejandra has inherited more than just pain. She has inherited the strength and the courage of her foremothers—and she will have to summon everything they have given her to banish La Llorona forever.

Vanishing Maps by Cristina García

Celia del Pino, the matriarch of a far-flung Cuban family, has watched her descendants spread out across the globe, struggling to make sense of their transnational identities and strained relationships with one another. In Berlin, the charismatic yet troubled Ivanito performs on stage as his drag queen persona, while being haunted by the ghost of his mother. Pilar Puente, adrift in Los Angeles, is a struggling sculptor and the single mother of a young son. In Moscow, Ivanito’s cousin Irina has become the wealthy owner of a lingerie company, but she remains deeply lonely in the wake of her parents’ deaths and her estrangement from her Cuban heritage. Meanwhile, in Havana, Celia prepares to reunite with her lost lover, Gustavo, and wonders whether age and the decades spent apart have altered their bond.

Cut off from their Cuban roots, yet still feeling the island’s ineluctable pull, Ivanito and his extended family try to reimagine where - and with whom - they belong. Over the course of a momentous year, each will grapple with their histories as they are pulled to Berlin for a final, explosive reunion.

[messedupfan]

When I Look At You | Chapter 5

Summary: Things change between Y/n and Leigh when they return from their book tour.

A/N: Special thank you to the gif makers who take the time to make and post gifs so that everyone can enjoy them! Let me know what you think about this chapter in the comments, enjoy!

Masterlist | All Chapters | All Stories Taglist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Year Later

You feel your heart race as you sit in the dressing room, pacing back and forth as you feel the panic rise. You force yourself to sit down and spot five things you see; television, vanity, chair, coffee table, flowers in a vase. Next, you find four things to touch as you focus your breathing; the sofa, throw pillows, pants, rings. You close your eyes to listen for three different sounds; the crew members outside of the room, the air conditioner, the low volume of the taping. Then you try to find two different scents; the perfume of the flowers and the plate of brownies they left for you . Finally, you select one to eat for one thing to taste. Your breathing returns to normal and you feel calm enough to function again. 

“I cannot believe we’re here,” Leigh says as she returns to the room. She was pulled away to have another quick media training session. Your publicist was very nervous about Leigh saying the wrong things since this would be her first time being interviewed. However, you were certain that Leigh was going to be better at this than you ever were. “I know this might be hard for you to remember because it was eons ago, but I have to ask. What was it like your first time?” She sits next to you and plucks pieces from the brownie in your hand.

You choose to ignore the joke she was trying to make about your age and give her a thoughtful answer. It wasn’t until your birthday came around that she found out you are roughly seven years her senior. Which led to endless teasing about your age difference that you chose to ignore most of the time. “It was exciting,” you say. “I got to see way more of the world than I ever thought I would in my lifetime. Met and befriended a lot of cool people. I believe you civilians call them celebrities. I wouldn’t know, it’s been awhile since I’ve been normal.” She scoffs, commenting on how she doesn’t believe you were ever normal. You shake your head and continue, “It was quite the experience. How are you currently feeling about all of it?” 

“It’s very surreal. I had no idea that moving into that house would lead to all of this.” She laughs to herself at the thought. “It feels kind of wrong at the same time. Don’t you think?” Her eyes tell you what her mouth can’t and you have to look away. 

“If I think about that right now, I won’t make it out of this room.”

Leigh shuts her eyes and scoots away from you, “No you’re right. Now’s not the time to get into that.” She puts her hands on her knees as she focuses on her breathing to prevent her head from spinning around the thoughts of how many people’s deaths brought them together. It was difficult to not let it affect her, especially now that it was on her mind. Her writing career wasn’t going far and her marriage was hanging by a thread. Then her husband dies, her mother sells her childhood home, her sister leaves for a bit and when she returns they move in together. Across the street is someone who had just lost their family a year previous. Someone with a writing career and connections she could only dream of. A knock on the door brings her out of the tornado of guilt. Leigh clears her head before opening her eyes. 

“Follow me, you’re on deck,” a stagehand waves you and Leigh in her direction and the pair of you stand. Leigh looks at you with a nervous smile and you reach to squeeze her hand, offering your support. Together, you walk over to the spot that you’ll be entering through and patiently wait to be introduced.

A Few Weeks Later

You let out a puff of air as you collapse face first on your bed. It always felt good to return home after doing a book tour. Although, it wasn’t the bed you wanted to be returning to and the empty house depressed you, but nonetheless, you were grateful to be done with planes and interviews and readings and book signings. The only thing that made the trip bearable was your new co-author. 

Leigh found the offer to be a surprise and denied it twice before she accepted. She felt a little weirder about it than she thought she would. It made sense, she was spending the majority of her time writing with and supporting you. To be added to the payroll and given a credit on the book seemed like something that should happen. However, when it did. When there was a contract with her name on it and a negotiable offer, it felt strange. This series was practically a love letter to your wife and daughter. To have her name added to it felt wrong. Then, after she rejected the contract for a second time. You and Leigh finally had a full discussion about it. By the end of it, she felt better and had her mom look over the contract for her, who had a lawyer look over it. Eventually, Leigh signed it and the two of you threw a party at her house to celebrate. 

 The ringtone on your phone startles you awake and you answer it without needing to check because it was a special ringtone set for one person. “We just parted from each other for the first time in weeks,” you mumble tiredly. 

“Geez, no hello? You're such an old grouch. I guess you're going to want me to get off your lawn too,” Leigh says as she walks through the overgrown grass in the front of your house. 

“Depends, are you on my lawn?”

“Nope, now I'm on your porch. Now I'm putting my key in your door. Oh look at that, I'm in your living room,” Leigh continues to narrate until she ends the call and jumps into the bed beside you. “I’m bored.”

You sigh before rolling and groaning into your pillow. “Here’s an idea.” You lift your head off of the pillow to look at her. “You go back home and go to sleep.” 

Leigh hums as she considers your suggestion. “Or we could do something. I need a distraction.” 

The final word peaks your interest.  “Am I allowed to know from what?” You watch her face to see if you could read what was going on in her mind. But her face wasn't such an easy read and you didn't know how concerned you should be.

“Well you know how I was kind of in a relationship yesterday?” You nod seeing where this is going. You felt bad because they were a cute couple together and she was really nice and very patient with your friend. “Well, I’m not in one today.” Her voice falters and she blinks her eyes to rid them of incoming tears. “So, we should do something fun. Like going to an amusement park or whatever. I don't know.” A tear slips out and you stop yourself from catching it. Instead you remove your gaze from her as you think of what to do.

“Do you really think waiting forever in crowded lines at an amusement park is going to help you?” 

Leigh snorts, “No but I'm willing to try anything at this point.” 

“Well, I'm not going to an amusement park. But I am willing to get drunk,” you offer. 

“Of course you are,” she mutters to herself, but clear enough for you to hear. You decide to ignore it. Jules mentioned to Leigh several months ago that you had the signs of addiction. Leigh denied it until she couldn’t any longer and when she finally confronted you about it, you found it ridiculous. “You know, that’s not the only solution for heartache, right,” Leigh says directly to you this time.

“Fine, we can go to the movies or you can let me take a nap so that I can think of something better.” You impatiently fall into your pillow with drooping eyes as the exhaustion takes over. Leigh watches you fall asleep and decides not to bother you anymore. Instead, she looks around for something to do while you sleep. She didn’t feel like getting off of the bed, it was surprisingly more comfortable than hers, so she pulls out her phone to watch something in the meantime. 

She found herself unable to settle on anything and instead opted to watch the interviews she could find that the two of you did. It was hard to watch the first couple, because she felt like she said things she shouldn’t or she sat weird or she made an unflattering facial expression. But then she stops focusing on herself so much and watches you instead. She laughs again at the jokes you made and admired how well you composed yourself during the interview. If she wasn’t there, she’d have no idea that you were anxious before. It still impressed her.

When you wake up, you are startled by the body lying next to you and you fall out of the bed with a loud thud, disrupting the other person’s sleep. Leigh wasn’t sure when she fell asleep but she doesn't dwell on it when she sees you on the floor. She bursts out laughing. “Are you okay?” Leigh asks as she steps out of the bed to help you up. 

This wasn’t the first time you were startled when waking up next to Leigh. There have been a couple of times that the two of you have fallen asleep in the same room together. Once in her room out of exhaustion when the two of you were pulling an all nighter and needed a fresh environment. Then a couple times on the couches of either of your places. They were probably the nights of sleep you’d had in a long time. However, every time you woke up next to Leigh, it freaked you out because it took you a moment to recognize her. You had gotten used to an empty bed.  

“Yeah, I’m fine just my stupid brain thought I had a one night stand with a complete stranger.” You refuse her help and stand up on your own. 

“Oh. Is that an issue you’ve been having?” She asks as she makes a face.

“Of course not,” you laugh. “I don’t have time to pick up some random woman from a bar. I'm far too busy sharing a bed with you,” you wink as you finish straightening yourself out. “I’m going to uh splash my face and then I will figure out what we can do.” You excuse yourself to the bathroom. Leigh nods and steps out of your way. Figuring that the two of you will do what you always do, she plops herself on the sofa while she waits. When you exit the bathroom she is in the living room using your game controller to shuffle through the streaming channels. It makes you smile seeing her use the glowing controller on her own because it took you forever to teach her how to. But the sight makes you realize just how often the two of you remain inside and use the devices for entertainment. Maybe something else would be more beneficial. “Let’s take a walk,” you say. 

“What was that?” She looks over at you. 

“Turn off the tv, we’re going for a walk,” you say and grab your sneakers from the shoe rack beside the front door. “I think the air could do us some good.”

“Oh, okay, yeah,” she quickly shuts off the console and the television. You grab the keys to the house and have her step out first so you can lock the door on the way out.

Together, you and Leigh stroll along the concrete sidewalk. Neither of you speaks for the first half of the walk. Simply enjoy the presence of the other and appreciate the surroundings. It wasn’t an unbearable temperature and there were a decent amount of clouds that kept the sun from beating down.  The trees carried enough leaves to provide good shade every few steps. There weren’t many other people outside though there were a couple clusters of kids playing on the sidewalks and biking on the streets.

It’s not until she wants to tell you what happened that another word is exchanged. “So, when I walked in, Nora was there.” Leigh starts, you figure she meant at her house. “We’ve been having problems and she wanted to know how much of a future we had together. And I guess her ex got in contact with her while we were on our book thing.” She wasn’t comfortable calling it a tour because she was still having a tough time believing it was something she got to be part of. “Her ex was ready for everything. Moving in together, marriage, kids, everything. But she said that if I was ready to give that to her then she would stay with me instead of going back to her.” 

Your heart tightens at the thought but you have to remind yourself that she said they’re not together anymore. “You’re not ready for that kind of commitment,” it comes out more like a question than a statement. 

Leigh considers her words for a moment. “I think I might be, just… not with her.” 

“Oh?” You’re slightly taken back by her answer. “Is there anyone in particular? Please don’t say Ed.” 

She laughs, she could always count on you to make her laugh. “No,” Leigh glances at you and then looks straight ahead. “No one in particular. However, I don’t want to be with someone who backs me into a corner with a proposal involving their ex.” 

Now you want to laugh because it seemed to you like Leigh was only picking the worst type of people to be with. She had told you once that she was only with people she knew there wasn’t a real future with. You just had hoped that she was past that phase. “Yeah, what the fuck kind of proposal is that? I never thought Nora was the type to do something like that,” you shake your head and scoff. “People continue to amaze me.” A rock finds its way in your path and you decide to see how long you can kick it for. “Here’s what you need to do,” you start, “delete all of your dating profiles. No one on those things will be good enough for you, Leigh. You deserve so much better.” 

Leigh scoffs at the idea. “Oh, is that so? And what kind of person would be good enough for me?” She starts to try and take over kicking the rock and you playfully struggle against her. “You’re not suddenly available to date are you?” The question slips out and the rock gets kicked too far from the path. You, thrown off by the question, stumble on an answer before you ask her what she meant by what she said. “Um, I, uh, I don’t know. It was just a joke, you know, because we spend so much time together and everything. Just, forget I said anything.” She shuts it down and walks ahead of you.

“Leigh,” you call out behind her as you try to catch up. “Let's talk about something else.” You suggest so you don’t have to continue fumbling over the subject. Right now you wanted to continue denying that you felt anything more than pure friendship for Leigh than to face those emotions. It wasn’t because of losing your family, you know Taylor would have wanted you to move on. It was because you know that Leigh wants kids. Something you weren’t ready to get into with anyone, maybe not even her. You didn’t know yet but you would rather her be with someone who will give that to her without question. Instead of having her wait for you to be ready and it could be too late by then.

“Like what?” She slows down slightly to hear you out but you’re still not yet by her side. 

“Um, I’ve been thinking about getting a dog.” She comes to a full stop to remind you that Stevie is allergic to dogs and that's why you haven't gotten one yet. “I know, but I’ve been thinking about moving back into my old house and let Stevie have their place back.” 

“Why would you do that?” Her tone is sharper than she might’ve intended but she didn’t like the news she was being given. “I thought you liked living here.”

You look at her and hide your emotions behind a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. She took notice but made no comment. You did like living in Stevie’s house but not for the reasons that you used to and that scared you. “Of course, I do. I just think that with getting the book out and all of the shit that I’ve been able to work through this past year… I figured it might be time to go back. Maybe clean out the things I don’t need or decide if I want to sell the place. You know, figure out not how to move on, but how to carry on. If that makes any sense.” You scratch the back of your neck as you wait for her reaction that she seemed to be holding in. “Leigh, it was going to happen at some point. Why not now?”

She purses her lips in thought and with the tense body language, you could read that she was upset with you. Her body always revealed more than her face did. “You’re right. You’re ready now so it must be the perfect time.” She spins on her heel and continues walking in the direction to the neighborhood. 

“Please don’t be mad at me,” you beg, once again trying to keep up with her pace. Even with how much running you do every day, she was somehow faster than you at that moment. 

“I’m not. I’m happy for you,” she bitterly replies. 

“You have quite a way of showing it,” you retort, your patience waning. 

Leigh stops abruptly and you crash into her back a little. She turns around to look at you. The two of you stare at each other in a close proximity until her gaze drops to the cracked concrete below her feet. “I am happy for you. It’s just…” her words begin to fail her. Since the beginning of your friendship, there was this unspoken agreement of being as honest as possible with each other. If something was too hard for either of you to talk about, you simply asked the other to wait a little longer until that person was ready. But this wasn’t something she needed more time to tell you about. She knew you wouldn’t judge her for her feelings. She just needed to be honest. “I’m going to miss my friend. You’re the person closest to me right now. I like what we have and I don't want it to change,” she admits.

“How would it change?”

Leigh shrugs, “I don't know… We won't be able to see each other everyday.” 

I won't have to watch you go on date after date and hate myself for being jealous about it, you shake the thought. No, that's not why you were moving back into your old house. You just wanted to get a dog and spend the rest of your life with the dog and your friends. You didn't have room for more than that. 

At least, you didn't want to believe that you did.

“Leigh,” you start but don't know how to finish. When she looks back up, her breath hitches at how close the two of you are. Closer than when she looked away. There wasn’t much space between the two of you and the air you were able to breathe would caress her skin ever so slightly. Her eyes flit from your eyes to your lips and you’d be lying to say you weren’t doing the same. Before she can make a move, you call her name again. “You just went through a break up,” you remind her. 

“So?” 

“It wouldn’t be,” your voice wavers when her fingers curl on your shirt, “wise for us to.” You clear your throat in order to finish your thought. “Do anything impulsive.” 

Leigh lets go of your shirt with a small smirk. “Then walk away,” she whispers.

You would shake your head if you weren’t so concerned about how it could make your lips brush against hers. You don’t want to run away from her, and you’re not sure if you want to kiss her or not. But you can’t stand there in front of some stranger's house forever. She was making this your decision completely and you had to make the choice right now. “I…” You shut your eyes tight and just throw all the reasons not to out of your head. You start by gripping her hips then moving your hands to her shoulders and then to her neck. Unsure where to place them and she giggles a little at the movement but remains patient. Finally, you settle your hands on her cheeks and look into her eyes for one last confirmation before you lean in and finally place your lips against hers. 

The kiss is short lived because the owner of the house hoses the two of you down as he screams for you to take it somewhere else. You and Leigh run away from the house as the man continues to spray at you. Once you’re far enough away, you stop running and lose your breath laughing with Leigh. “I almost wish he hadn’t waited so long to do that,” you say between breaths. 

Leigh’s laughter lowers in volume. “Oh, so… you regret kissing me,” she playfully challenges. 

You look at your surroundings, trying to remember where you are and how far you are from the house. “No, I don’t regret it. I just, I think,” you make a noise out of frustration as you scratch your head. Leigh’s question was playful at first but now she was concerned. You tilt your head up to the sky and take a big breath. “Do you think we rushed it?” She shakes her head and takes your hand out of your hair and begins to massage your palm. Leigh asks you to look at her. She can tell that you’re about to spin out and she intends to help you. 

“Stop thinking for a moment, be here with me,” you nod, close your eyes, and focus your attention to her touch and your breathing. She continues to lightly work on your hand. This was something she learned to do during the tour whenever the two of you needed to do a reading and you were starting to panic. “Are you okay?” She asks after a moment. You nod and open your eyes to meet hers once again. Her pupils were slightly larger and her irises were greener than usual, you figured it was due to her green t-shirt. 

“I want to kiss you more. I want to kiss you better,” you say.

“Yeah?” she smiles. 

“But I don’t know if I’m ready for everything that comes with that. And I–” 

Leigh hushes you, “We don’t need to talk about this right now. We can just finish our walk. Dry off, watch a movie, and maybe order some food. Then if you want to talk after, we can, or we can save it for another day.” You take the offer without overthinking it. Today felt like a day to move on instinct. You're sure that you'll eventually blame jet lag or exhaustion from traveling so much. 

The two of you return to your house in silence and settle on the couch. After the food is ordered, you and Leigh argue over what to watch like you usually do. Only this time when you wonder about what kissing her would be like, your mind ventures beyond that.

Then the food arrives and you let her put on whatever movie she wants to watch. Luckily, it was one of her favorites that you actually enjoyed. However, once your food is consumed, you can’t focus on the three women getting revenge on their husbands. No, instead your attention is somewhere else. If you hadn’t kissed her earlier, you would have been able to shut the urges down. Unfortunately, the split second that your lips met hers it woke a few neglected things up in you and you weren’t sure if you were going to be able to tame them. Part of you didn’t want to and the other didn’t want to take the responsibility if you can’t stop yourself from making another move. Something was telling you that she wasn’t going to stop you. So you make a move to get up from the couch to grab a drink to try and create some distance, but Leigh catches your wrist. 

“Do you want something?” You ask. Her only response is to pull you back down to your spot next to her. “I just wanted to grab a drink,” you tell her and she shakes her head. 

“Please don’t. Stay with me,” the look in her eyes holds you in place. She wanted you to be present with her and not lost in a bottle of tequila. “I want to kiss you too,” Leigh admits. You hold your breath as you wait for what she wants to say next. “I don’t want to worry about anything beyond that.” 

Your eyebrows and lips frown together in contemplation. “What do you mean? Like friends with benefits or something like that?” 

Leigh shakes her head, “I mean that I want to kiss you. Not label or plan anything. Just… kiss you and go from there. What do you think about that?” 

You look away from her then back to her then away as you bounce your leg and chew on your bottom lip. You could think of a million reasons why that would be a bad idea. But everytime you look at her, you forget every one of those reasons. Instead of saying anything, afraid of ruining the moment with words you can’t quite form, you lean closer to her. Leigh takes your cue and leans closer to you. The two of you inch towards each other until your foreheads are touching and your hand is on her cheek again. This time she has a hand on your cheek as well. 

“Leigh,” you whisper when your lips are just about to touch. Your mind trying to stop you once again.

“Just be here with me,” she whispers. You listen to her and silence all of the voices telling you not to go down this path. Leigh closes the gap this time and it takes you a few seconds to respond. It has been so long since you’ve been kissed and it felt good. You’ve forgotten how good it could feel to be kissing someone. As the kiss deepens, she pulls you closer and you can’t help but want to be as close as possible to her. 

When you break for air, your eager lips move to her neck. You move your hands from her face to her waist. This time it's you gripping the fabric of her shirt to keep her to you. It makes her smile a little and she decides to test the waters. She begins to subtly guide your kisses to where she likes it most by playing with your hair and adjusting herself. Leigh lets out a low moan when you find her sweet spot and though you thought such a noise might wake you up from this trance you’ve been put in, it pulls you in deeper. You begin sneaking your fingers under the hem of her shirt as she tightens a fist on the back of yours. 

“I need you,” you whisper as you inch your fingers up her shirt. Leigh lays back against the sofa, guiding you on top of her. “I need you,” you repeat as you adjust yourself comfortably. “I need all of you,” all thoughts escape you as your lips touch every available inch of her skin. However, you still remain cautious of touching her out of respect, allowing her the room to call it all off.  

“Have me,” she says. “Don’t think about it, just,” she finishes with removing her shirt, giving you the permission you were searching for.

After, you are holding Leigh and pulling the covers over the two of you. “That was,” you start, out of breath. Leigh hums in agreement and she kisses the back of your hand. You return the affection by kissing her shoulder. “Thank you,” the words make Leigh laugh and you join her. “What?” 

She shakes her head, “Nothing, it’s nothing. I’ve just never had anyone thank me for sex before.” 

“Really? Never?” You ask in surprise. 

Leigh shuffles in your arms to look at you, “Do you normally thank people for sex?”

You begin to blush, “Maybe the first few times I do,” you admit and hide your face in the pillow behind her. She calls you cute as she fails to fight her laughter to avoid embarrassing you. It doesn’t embarrass you, her laughter warms your heart and you want to hear more of it. You pull your head away from her and start to tickle her to hear her laugh more.

Leigh rolls on top of you as she fights against your tickles and continues to laugh. She cries out for you to stop and when you don’t, she resorts to kissing you. The action makes you quit as you try to deepen the kiss. Before you can, Leigh pulls away shaking her head. “Slow down, I need to recover,” she pants. “I don’t know what I expected you to be like in bed, but you definitely exceeded my expectations.” She kisses your cheek and settles in your arms again, this time more tired than earlier. 

“So would you say that I successfully distracted you from your break up,” you ask jokingly. 

Leigh snorts as she snuggles into your chest, “Definitely not thinking about anything other than you right now, Y/n,” she agrees. 

You smile as her breathing slows and you feel yourself tire out. Rather rapidly, the two of you fall asleep naked and wrapped up in each other.

Chapter 6

Taglist: @madamevirgo @wqndanat @thisischaismagic @artisannat @olsensnpm @evenbeingcrazy1998 @bentleywolf29 @awkwardmandalorian @agaymilflover @sayah13 @princessprudyy @wandamxmff @wandavisionmoot @angryraisin

[roadtogracelandx45]

Undercover| 1| One Chicago

masterlist coming soon

@prettyinpayne

Summary: Libby, Adam, Kevin and later Antonio have to go undercover with a crime family that had close ties to the Sanfino, the crime family that Libby’s deceased husband had been involved in and her twin brother Jamie had a hand in taking down. Set before the next volume of Thin Blue Line. 

Rated M For Mature

Word count: 

**** 

One 

“Alright listen up everyone!” Hank Voight said coming out of his office and looking at his team that was scattered around the bullpen talking lowly with each other as they worked on paperwork.  

“We have a major problem. The Sanfino Crime family has hit Chicago and hit us hard.” 

“Sanfino?” Libby Reagan asked pushing her chair away from her desk. 

Hank nodded his head and looked at her. 

“I know them. Michael was involved with them, he all but sold me to Noble.”

 “He did what?” Adam Ruzek asked looking at his friend who nodded her head, “he needed a date, and who better else than the wife of his friend and the daughter of the police commissioner? They thought if they had me under their control then it would be easier not to get in trouble.” 

Her husband Jay Halstead shook his head angrily, he had heard all about this when they first got together and it upset him. 

Her dead husband had taken advantage of her and even though she was a cop she was powerless to do anything.  

“But did it stop?” Alvin asked curiously, she only ever told stories about cases that her brothers or grandfather worked but none of hers.  It was like she wanted to hide it and hide everything that happened with Michael. 

“No. Most of them got locked up and the two grandkids fled New York.” She answered as she stood up and tapped her fingers against her thighs, “The one associate of Noble’s almost killed my twin.” 

“What else do you know about Noble?”

 “He is a druggie, he would do anything for his next hit.”  Libby said as she pulled open the bottom drawer of her desk and pulled out a notebook and handed it to Hank, “I kept information, that I could remember. I kept the notebook, Riker, my partner kept it with his files.” 

“Tell them why.”

 “I came into work on a Monday morning and someone had gone through my desk. It was Michael. After his first stint in jail, he became more paranoid, jealous, and angry. You name it he was. He didn’t like me working the night shift or working with Riker.” 

“How many stents did he do?” 

“3. The third one is when he got killed.” Libby answered leaning against Jay’s desk, his fingers catching hers and squeezing them.

 “I was at my dad’s house for Sunday dinner and I get this call from the warden telling me that Michael was stabbed and I needed to get down to the hospital. The perks of having the police commissioner as a father we got there at the same time he did. They pronounced him dead after they wheeled him by me.” Libby said using her thumb to move her engagement ring back and forth.

“My family was expecting me to lose control and start crying but I didn’t, I think I was more relieved than anything after everything that he did to me and put me through it was finally over.” 

“Did you lose control?” Adam asked. 

“Yeah, I finally did after the funeral when my bitch mother-in-law tried to tell me because I started divorce proceedings before Michael was killed that I wasn’t entitled to the life insurance or anything. I flipped.” 

“Antonio you remember when Danny was here and he pushed the table into Peter?” Jay asked as he leaned back in his chair. He had been there when that happened and was right there with Danny pulling her away from Marion.  Though they were all just tempted to let the fight go on. Let Libby get out of her system. 

“Yeah.” He remembered it all too clearly, he would have done the same thing that the oldest Reagan had done when he found out that Libby had walked into a trap and was almost killed. 

“She did that from what Will told me.” 

“I threw a drink in her face too. Lucky for her that my brothers were there and pulled me away. I would have started throwing punches.” Libby said. 

Carlie Rhodes looked up at Mrs. Halstead and laughed, “And she has a mean left hook.” 

“Yes, yes I do.” the former New York Detective said folding her arms under her chest, “So what do you want us to do Sarge?”  

Hank looked thoughtful before putting his hands on his hips, “Do you still have contacts within the family?”

 Libby nodded her head slowly, “Yeah Bianca, Noble’s sister texts me all the time, she just moved from New Hampshire.” 

“Good, reach out to her. Ruzek, Atwater, I want you two with her.” Hank ordered. “Got it, boss,” Adam answered as Libby went over to her desk and pulled her iPhone out of her desk, and turned it on. 

This was her old phone and number that she only used from time to time. 

It was a reminder of her former life, the life where she was Mrs. O’Malley, the wife of a prominent lawyer who gave her everything and lived a life that on the outside looked happy. But on the inside, it wasn’t.

 Michael was controlling, abusive and angry, and Libby who was taught how to defend herself and trust cops her entire life became sad withdrawn, and not even trusting her family who was cops.

 She was scared that if she got back into this lifestyle she was going to go back to that. She couldn’t do that not now that she had Jay. 

She couldn’t. She wouldn’t.  

** 

Seeing that Libby was engrossed in her mission of texting Bianca, Jay went over to where Adam and Kevin were at

. “Keep an eye on her.” He said, keeping his voice low so only the two men going undercover with her could hear. 

“Course man.” Kevin said glancing over at Libby and then back at Jay, “Was it really that bad?” 

“Worse. Ask Carlie or Will they will tell you. Being with Michael wasn’t good for her. She drank heavily, lost a ton of weight, and almost got kicked off of the force.” Jay answered, “I am worried that she will lose control if she gets into deep.” 

“We won’t let that happen.” Adam said, “We got her back.”  The former Army Ranger nodded his head before going over to his wife and leaning against her desk. 

“You okay?” “I will be okay. Kev and Ruze won’t let anything happen to me. I have too much to lose this time around.” She said softly offering him a smile.

  He returned the smile before looking at the screen of the phone that lit up. “Looks like you are to meet Bianca soon.”  “Then we should get ready. It will take me a while to go into Mrs. O’Malley again.” 

[dilucsflame33]

Donnie's Birthday Special! (Pt. 1)

Hello, everyone! This is my first ever fanfic on Tumblr, so I hope you all like it! Since today is my birthday and Donnie's on the 22nd, I decided to make a birthday fanfic for Donnie with my OC!

I'm writing this in parts because I don't know the limit for posts on here, so just to warn you all this story is long. 😂

If any of you wanna be tagged, tell me and I will add you to my future posts!

Anyways, here's your Donatello's Mocha Cocktail!

Aurora was stressed. Beyond stressed and guilty.

Today was Donnie's birthday and she has completely forgotten about it; so caught up with work that she had forgotten the most important day for her man. Mikey called her, asking about what her plans were for her beloved's birthday. 

"I thought it was tomorrow!" She claimed, British accent at full volume, as she quickly placed the business papers in an organized form. She's a vice manager and assistant for Lily's clothing company that used to run by her mother. After Lily's mother went to jail for her crimes, Lily was now the new store owner of the most popular clothing brand in New York City: Lily's Boutique. 

Tabitha was no longer working at Rick's Cabaret and worked for Lily as the consultant on three floors. There's six floors in total and extra four floors for privacy reasons.

Serenity has now finished her college courses in fashion design and she runs in the back, making sure the quality of said clothing was worth its value. 

Lily was no longer living in the mansion suite apartment with her mother. She asked constructionists to make an extra four floors to her new improved boutique; the building now has four women living with their husbands peacefully. 

Well, Aurora was not feeling the peace at the moment.

"Dang, girl, you're just like Donnie. He completely forgot today was his birthday! How can you forget the day you were born?" Mikey exaggerates through the phone's speaker as the strawberry blonde woman was scrounging around her and Donnie's shared closet. Aurora was lucky enough to buy Donnie something beforehand. She planned ahead just in case she ends up forgetting due to her workload.

At least I have that going for me, she thought as she pulled out the gift wrapped in purple paper. It was hard finding something for someone who literally has every tool in the whole world. But, luckily for her, his metal grinder burned out on him. He investigated it, the fuse burned and had to either replace the fuse or find another grinder. He couldn't find both in the junkyard or in any dumpster. He even thought about building one, but Aurora talked him out of it due to putting too much workload on himself. Now he was not able to finish some of his work.

Well, not until today. 

Wifey coming to the rescue!

But the grinder wasn't the only gift Donnie will be receiving. 

With a shuddered sigh, she went towards the very back of the closet and found a white box that had Donnie's other gift. Her and Donnie's haven't been intimate in weeks due to their work schedule. Aurora getting ready for the soon Black Friday sales while Donnie working on inventions for their coming up missions. 

And tonight was the night that streak would end.

"We are both workaholics, Mikey. It wasn't our intention to forget, I promise." Aurora said as she took hold of the purple wrapped gift, keys, and started heading out of the apartment suite. "I'm heading to the sewers now. Just hang in there."

"No problemo, Mrs. Einstein. Donnie will not be bored when Mikey's around!" She laughed at his antics and said her goodbyes, hanging up and placing her phone in her pocket.

Aurora shook her head as she pressed the button to the elevator, down the main floor and into the back of the store. When she opened the back door, there's nothing but a very high protected fence. She shut the door behind her as she walked down a few steps and there she stood, the cover that leads to the sewers. Lily planned everything out when she made the renovations to her boutique. She wants to be close to her work place while Leo will be close to the sewers, where his father lives.

All of them want to be close to the sewers, especially Donnie and Leo. It's hard for Donnie to move his electrical stuff towards the new apartment, so it's just best to leave everything there and have the lair as their secret base and family get-together spot. 

Now everyone's happy with the way things turned out.

Hopefully Donnie wouldn't mind the second gift she prepared for him. Whatever he wants, he gets. 

She just hopes he has the mental capacity to handle the surprise.  

When Aurora arrived at the lair, cheers and laughter was all she heard. The woman can't help but smile as she saw her beloved talking to his brothers with a smile. Those hazel eyes gleamed as Mikey made a joke and Donnie couldn't help but laugh, making him do his little snorts. 

The woman can't help but admire him. She remembers Donnie all shy and not really wanting to speak to her at the time. She really couldn't blame him, considering where she used to work at the time. But things have changed and so does one's thought process. 

Never in her life had she ever been this lucky.

Donnie could feel eyes on him and he looked towards the entrance, his eyes gleamed even more when he saw her. He spoke to his brothers for a second and started heading towards her way. 

Aurora can't help but to laugh at his eager jog as she quickly placed down his gift and wrapped her arms around his neck when he picked her up and spun them both. 

No matter how old they are and far in the marriage, Donnie still greets her the way he used to back when they were only a couple. And her heart melted at that.

Donnie held her like she was his life line: his snout buried in her neck and brunette hair, hands taking hold of her waist and back as her legs wrapped around his hips. 

He let out a content sigh as he looked into her brown eyes with a warm smile. "Mon chéri, I'm glad you made it." French for 'my dear' left his lips almost breathlessly.

"I will never miss my husband's special day." She says as he placed her down on her two feet. "Let's enjoy ourselves, shall we?" 

Minutes become hours as Donnie's birthday bash lit up the lair. After some party games and eating pizza, it was now time for presents. Lily leaned against Leo on the couch as he had his arm around her, Tabitha on Raph's lap, and Serenity laying against Mikey's chest on the floor. Splinter sat on one of the arm chairs. Even at his old age, he's still thriving like usual. The rat was at peace knowing his son's are living their life with the ones they love.

Aurora sat next to Donnie as he took hold of a purple bag with white tissue paper. He opened it and laughed out loud. There's a coffee mug that says, "There's a difference between book smarts and common sense."

Serenity smiled. "I saw the mug and thought of you. The other ones are either women mugs, so I don't think you would like to have pink."

Mikey was about to say something before Serenity stopped him, "And no, honey, Donnie will not like that kitty mug with the ears. It will poke his eyes out!"

"He's already blind as is! Don't wanna make it worse." Tabitha snickered, her Southern accent was known as soon as she spoke. 

Donnie laid his head back against the couch as he tried to hold in his laugh. "I'm glad to know that I am half blind by my family, even though I've been like this for twenty-four years!" 

Everyone laughed as Splinter shook his head with a chuckle. 

Donnie thanked Serenity and Mikey for the gift and went to the next one. This one was a card in a purple envelope with a beautiful white ribbon, to seal it was a wax seal. "Geez, that envelope is too pretty to be opened."

"I hope I didn't go overboard." Lily says as she moves her pale, white hair behind her ear. "I thought the envelope was too plain, so I decorated it. I hope it's okay!"

"N-No! I love it, really! I'm just surprised how pretty it is!" The purple clad turtle exclaimed, trying to make the Japanese woman feel better. The said woman sighed in relief, the poor woman never done anything like this so it was to be expected. Leo kissed Lily's forehead and she soon melted into his touch.

Donnie carefully untied the string and the wax seal, then gasped as he took out the card inside. "Holy cow, a gift card to Piccola Cucina!" 

The others looked confused except for Lily, Aurora and Donnie. "It's a gift card to an Italian restaurant." 

A chorus of "oh"s filled the living room as Donnie shook his head. "You guys don't know delicious food." 

"It's called 'expensive'." Raph says as Tabitha shook her head. "It's not that we don't know, we just can't afford it." 

Lily looked towards Tabitha. "Am I not paying you enough?" Leo looked at Raphael with warning.

"Oh, Raphael, don't say stuff like that! Now you made Lily think I'm not getting paid enough." Tabitha playfully hit Raph's chest as she looked towards her boss and best friend. "You're fine, sweetheart. Don't listen to Raph, he's saying that to cover up his lack of knowledge of certain restaurants." 

Lily sighed in relief once again. "I don't understand Americans." She says in Japanese as Leo laughed out loud. The woman's innocence will be the death of her. Good thing Leo was there to protect her, even though she could defend herself. He failed once, and he won't do it again.

"Anyways, thank you Lily and Leo!" Donnie says as he placed the card back in the envelope. "So, who's next?"

Donnie's Birthday Special! (Pt. 2)

Here's my Master List!

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