#and the other is so thick that it lets giant crumbs of cheese fall through

[fingertipsmp3]

Does anyone else just like… not give a fuck if they’re chopping vegetables evenly

[grailacademy]

Welcome To Grail Academy - Chapter Twelve: Disorder

The red letters flickered and glowed brightly, aside from the T that made the Cosmos Hotel sign. From below, it glimmered like a beacon of refuge over the few vagrants and drifters who still roamed the abandoned portion of the city. The handful of bulbs that had shattered over time lay in pieces on the gravel, like residents that had fallen from the windows of their rooms and whose bodies had been left to rot in the street, red glass shards arranged like blood splatters. When Yorick burst out from the stairwell onto the roof, a gust of wind tossed his hair from one side to the other. It was cold. And eerily silent. The light from the sign forced him to squint in the otherwise stark darkness of the night. His thumbs fidgeted with the safety triggers on his guns, anxiously rotating the cylinders in hope that he wouldn’t have to use them.  

A bird chirped. It was a strange kind of melody, short and husk. Yorick jumped at the sound, he was already prepared to run. But it drew his attention to the fact that it was the middle of the night. And that was no bird. He turned to face Scarlet, sprawled out and lounging on top of the giant C, basking in the warmth of the lights. His leg hung off the end and swung back and forth, in the same rhythm that his yo-yo spun. “Why?”, Yorick sputtered out, “Why are you doing this?”

“Well,” Scarlet crowed, sliding off the neon structure and landing on his feet. “It’s a pretty good twist, isn’t it?” He swung the toy in his hand, building up momentum before letting the yo-yo loose in the other boy’s direction. Yorick felt something familiar about his movement, the flick of the wrist and the small lunge to the side that sent the weapon flying towards his face. Scarlet was fighting the same way Nico had fought when they sparred. He shifted the weight on his feet and spun quickly, dodging the attack. He set the safety triggers back down on his revolvers. He knew how to win.

Bernard kicked at the hatch that separated him and Buck until the lever was knocked clean off its bolt. The elevator was moving slow, but he still felt his stomach lurch when he dove down into the conveyer. Buck stood in the corner with his hands in the pockets of his lab coat, and when his opponent leapt at him, he nonchalantly lifted one of his hands out, holding something Bernard could not identify. With a burst of air from his lungs, he blew the fistful of powder in Bernard’s face. The white-clad hunter he had backed into a wall pulled his scarf over his nose and mouth while Bernard was left to cough and wheeze and choke in the thick cloud of debris.

His eyes burned, turning red and watering. He couldn’t breathe, his lungs strained with every gasp. What was this? Sand? Dust? Blinded and breathless, he fumbled around the compartment until he grabbed hold of a railing. Bernard’s whips were rendered useless in such a small space, so his first move was going to be to punch whatever part of Buck was easiest to hit. With that strategy virtually demolished, he threw all caution to the wind and activated his semblance. In a flash, he flung himself to the other side of the elevator, slamming his body into Buck’s and crushing him against the wall with the weight of a wrecking ball. The entire contraption shook, crashing against the structure of the shaft. The shuttering of the cabin put too much stress on the outdated cables, and suddenly the elevator was falling. The two passengers fell over and began to wrestle in the fog, Bernard’s hand wrapped around Buck’s forearm, and Buck clutching the tail of Bernard’s coat. Neither of them noticed the increase of speed in their decent.

In an assertion of power, Bernard knelt down on Buck’s chest and pinned his shoulders to the floor, at least for a moment. Something wasn’t right. The world around him started to slow down, the hairs on his neck stood on end. Even after he deactivated his semblance, his limbs felt like cement blocks. He looked down at Buck only to see his face shifting, distorting itself like paint swirling in a glass of water. His mouth felt dry. Why was it so bright in here? His vision dimmed, and he blinked in an attempt to shake himself out of the haze. Buck took the opportunity to swivel his leg and kick Bernard in the head before wriggling out of his grip. The elevator cable jumped over the pulley system and hitched itself by a rusted section of its length, and the car screeched against the walls of the shaft as it came to a crooked stop. The conveyer balanced in the tunnel on an angle, once again disorienting the two hunters fighting inside it.

Bernard lay dizzy on his back, reeling in his new state of being. The muffled static of a radio purred on Buck’s belt. It sounded distant, miles away to Bernard, but he could tell it was Scarlet’s voice. “Roof. Now.”, he commanded. Buck had to lean to the left for him to stand correctly as he wedged himself between the elevator doors and ran out into a dark hallway. As he disappeared, Bernard struggled to his feet and crawled out of the death trap. The boy he had been fighting was nowhere in sight. He took a moment to sit down on the floor, leaning against a crumbling wall and sighing. He stole a glance at his hands, staring in tired bewilderment as they warped into a spiral of colors that he couldn’t find the words to describe. “....Uh-oh.”

Queenie slid against the floor, her back connecting with a metal cabinet. She grunted and cast a pair of cards toward Esmerelda, who dodged one. The other grazed her cheek with a thin, sharpened edge like a razor. She cringed and felt the cut over, giving Queenie enough time to flip herself back up and pull out more cards. But when she reached into her cartridge, there was nothing to throw. She patted all the pockets of her jacket, the back pockets in her pants, nothing. Esmerelda smiled and brandished her claws, prowling down the aisle of the retired kitchen. “What’s all this about?”

Queenie scrambled for a makeshift weapon. Wooden spoon, no. Moldy fruit, no. Cheese grater….maybe. In a last ditch effort, she ripped the doors of the metal cabinet she had fell into open, greeted with a pleasant surprise. Somewhere, a mouse squeaked and scurried away with the last crumb of bread left in the pantry. There was a small clatter, and Queenie wielded her new arsenal by hurling a large butcher’s cleaver at her opponent. It whizzed past Esmerelda’s face, only millimeters from skinning her hyde, and nicked a strand of hair from off her head. The blade lodged itself in the wooden door behind them. It was then that she realized, this wasn’t a fight. Queenie was trying to kill her.

All at once, fear took hold of her and pushed her instincts to the surface. She watched as  Queenie prepared to throw six more knives, three in each hand. The blunt sides resided between her fingers, and glided out of her grasp like water droplets on a windowpane. Esmerelda only had a few seconds to act, so she closed her eyes while the cutlery veered closer and closer, and set her semblance into play.

She envisioned the scene in slow motion, inspecting her environment. If she were to try and move to the left, her path would be cut off by the island in the middle of the kitchen, leaving her right side exposed. She would lose an arm that way. If she went right, she would be cornering herself for another attack. If she ducked down, she would meet her fate with a knife in her forehead. There was only one option. Opening her eyes, Esmerelda jumped over the island, grabbing the hanging metal rack over her head to swing herself over the other side and duck down before the barrage of blades embedded themselves in the surrounding walls.

Esmerelda yelled, “Queenie, stop!” She could hear the hunter reloading for another wave. She had to had to get up and fight back, because Queenie would not miss twice. Quickly, she pulled an old cast-iron pan off the rack and held it up to block the knives. They clanked against the metal, and Esmerelda took a step forward. Queenie threw another set, and she moved the pan over her chest, deflecting once more. She took a few more steps. Queenie catapulted several pearing knives, and Esmerelda turned to her side and held the pan a bit to the right to shield herself again. She ran at Queenie with the pan high over her head, letting it crash down over the other girl’s face with a crack. Queenie yelped and dropped the blades she was still holding. Then she reached back, gripped the edge of a plate, and shattered it over Esmerelda’s head. Both of them made quick recoveries, Queenie throwing two plates and a cup and Esmerelda smashing them with the pan. She flung the skillet square in Queenie’s gut, knocking the wind out of her.

Before she could recover, Queenie bounded towards Esmerelda with another butcher’s knife, crying out in anguish as she whirled around and took the hunter from behind. The cold metal of the blade made her shiver as its edge pressed into her throat, stinging her skin. The look she saw in Queenie’s eyes, it wasn’t the first time Esmerelda had seen true rage. It still scared her. Their battle was interrupted by Scarlet’s statement over the radio, a speaker that was clipped to the lapel of Queenie’s jacket. Hesitantly, she released the weapon and kicked Esmerelda to the floor. “We’ll finish this later, kitten.” She sprinted out of the room, only for Esmerelda to give chase through the hotel.

The grainy waltz music crackled on the record player, just loud enough to be heard over Rettah and Nico brawling. Nico fell backwards from Rettah’s attack, and he slipped his foot underneath an upside-down table on the floor. He kicked it up in the air, grabbed it by one of the legs, and bowled it at her like a giant frisbee. The girl was unphased. A choppy vibration broke the song, and she pulled a small metal box from off her garter belt. She flipped a switch, and with a dramatic spin that flared out her dress and ruffled the ribbons of lace in her hair, Rettah equipped a giant chainsaw that roared like a dragon, spitting glittery fumes from the back gasket. As the jagged blades rotated, glowing the same shade of aqua blue as her hair, she sliced the flying table clean in half. Nico couldn’t help but gaze in awe at the size of the weapon, and Rettah’s ability to hold it like it was nothing. “Well, crap.”

“Do you like it? Buck made her for me! 800 horsepower, she can cut through solid titanium. Plus, Steel Ghoul runs on steam dust, so she’s eco-friendly!”

“That’s….nice?”

“She’s a real beaut. It’s too bad I have wreck you, that’ll be such a mess to clean out of her teeth.” Rettah giggled and, like a streak of blue lightning, rushed Nico. He twisted the handle on his bat and held the transformed bo staff across himself to block her swing. As the teeth gritted against his weapon, he felt himself slipping, falling further and further back while Rettah only pushed down more. She leaned forward over her chainsaw to leer at Nico, her misleading smile only inches away from his grimace. He twisted around, turning the staff to thwack Rettah in the neck before rolling out from under her.

The staff shortened in his hand and protruded the spikes at the end of the bat, and the two of them began to swing their weapons at eachother like brutal swordplay. Lunge, parry, riposte, thrust, remise, feint, parry again, it went on like this. They would push themselves backwards, jumping back into the action, over and over, only managing to land hits on their opponent when the other was catching their breath. At one point, Nico had given up on trying to fight with any kind of dignity. Politeness and manners never won battles. As Rettah fell into their shared pattern of lunges and clashes of metal on metal, Nico tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled her by one of her pigtails as she flew past him. She squawked, having been towed out of her momentum so quickly that her Steel Ghoul tumbled out of her grip. Thrown into a pile of folding chairs by the empty stage, she moaned and held her head.

“What’s your game, Rettah!?” Nico yelled, spreading his legs and preparing for another attack, “What are you playing at!?”

The blue haired girl quieted down in thought, processing her next move. Slowly, she raised herself out of the pile, dragging a metal folding chair behind her, the legs scraping on the floor. “Aw, where’s the fun in that? I can’t just tell you, that ruins the surprise! And Sable wants wants it to be a really. Big. Surprise.”

“Who’s Sable?” Nico raised a brow, but the quirk in his face was soon smacked off by Rettah, who had just knocked him to the floor with the flat side of the chair against his head. Standing over his crumbled form, rolling him over, she peered at Nico’s aura visibly weakening. She hefted the chair up, and brought it down on him again, and again, and again, and again. Over, and over, until he was barely moving.

His breathing was shallow, shaky, but he found himself chuckling at the situation. Nico looked up at Rettah with a twinkle, straining to only lift his head slightly, uttering “Listen, you’re super cute, but I have a dating policy.”

“Oh really? And what’s that?”

“I don’t dig psycho chicks.”  Before their flirty banter could continue, Nico snapped his fingers. A small pink spark shot from his fingertips and snaked over his body, and he activated his semblance. The mountain of metal chairs started rattling, scratching on the floor. Instantaneously, Nico’s magnetized body drew the chairs in like a bullet train that rammed into the girl standing over him. Plowing into the wall behind her, Rettah was now trapped under the metal seats. Beaten and exhausted, Nico slowly grabbed his bat and limped out of the ballroom to find the rest of his team. As his shape hobbled away, the needle on the record skipped and the song faded out, just as Scarlet’s voice on his partner’s radio rose in volume. There were a few seconds of silence after his call for backup, and then Rettah’s fist burst through the top of the chair pile like something out of a zombie movie, chainsaw in hand.

The roof seemed so much larger now, Scarlet and one end and Yorick at the other. He whipped the yo-yo again, the wire reflecting the light of the moon and the neon sign as it thrashed across the length of the building. The same way Nico had thrown his bat like a boomerang. Yorick was prepared, he timed the stretch of Scarlet’s weapon in his head and reached out, grasping the inverted cylinder of the yo-yo. It shocked Scarlet, but Yorick’s serious expression broke in amazement when he looked at it in his hand. “Whoa, I can’t believe I caught that!”

“Catch this,” Scarlet retorted, throwing another wire yo-yo. This time, it spun around his free arm, and the red-headed boy lashed the wires about to reel Yorick in closer. Yorick squeaked, digging his feet into the gravel and skidding across the roof until he was right in front of his opponent. He might have made a mistake of putting his revolvers back in their holsters. Scarlet threw a left hook, then a swift right kick, an uppercut, a knee to his side, all which Yorick frantically dodged like a vogue dance. Tail swishing annoyedly, Scarlet landed a punch in his shoulder that sent Yorick stumbling backwards. The yo-yos unwinded back into the other boy’s hands, and Yorick raised the revolvers in his direction with trembling hands. “Please, don’t make me do this”, he implored. Just as the words came out of his mouth, the door to the roof swung open. Buck, Queenie, and Rettah all rushed over to Scarlet’s side, facing off against Yorick.

“I managed to keep Esmerelda down,” Queenie murmured, “but she’ll be here with the rest of them soon.” Buck nodded, adding “The big one is out of commission, for now. I saw the pink one moving pretty slow, too.” His teammates. His friends. Was he alone now? Did they really take them all from him? How could they? Where could he go now? More questions to tornado in his head, along with all the others. It made him mad. Furious. He wanted to hurt them. Smoke rose from his nostrils, his tear ducts, the pores in his skin. Yorick screamed, “WHAT DID YOU DO TO THEM!” and a typhoon of blue fire poured from his mouth, and his entire body, clawing at his clothes like a beast that soon changed direction and sprang at the others, craving to maul whoever stood in its way.

When Esmerelda, Bernard, and Nico careered out onto the roof, the scene was like a gothic painting. Yorick was on his knees, crying and holding the sides of his head, staring in horror at BRSQ huddled in a small circle. Esmerelda stepped towards her partner, keeping an eye on their enemies. “What happened? Are you okay?” Yorick said something, but she couldn’t understand what it was. He was hysterical. He glanced back to Bernard and Nico, and saw that they were staring as well. She followed their line of sight and saw, Scarlet, Rettah, and Queenie, looking over what was left of Buck.

(Trigger Warning: The following scene contains in-depth descriptions of violence, gore, and death. Skip the next paragraph if you want to avoid these kinds of descriptions.)

His smoldering corpse was nearly unrecognizable. The patches of hair that clung to his scalp were wispy and folded from the heat, his flesh was black and charred. His gnarled fingers curled up, cracked fingernails split and broke off on the gravel. His eyelids were fused shut, his nose now only 2 flat holes in his skull. His lips stretched across the frame of his face, exposing his teeth and gums in a permanent scowl.

Everyone on the roof was silent. The remaining members of BRSQ looked over their old friend in a stupor, arms hanging by their sides. Scarlet squeezed Rettah’s hand when she whispered, “He’s dead.”

Yorick felt someone touch his shoulder. He pulled away and looked up to see Queenie, offering her hand to him. “Be strong. Sable has a plan for you.”

“What?”

“Come with us. You can learn to control your abilities. Grail has no use for you. But we do.”

It was tempting. His fingers brushed against her calloused hand. They could have answers. They could tell him what his grandmother was too afraid to. They could help him. “Don’t do it.” Bernard huffed, leaning against the frame of the door to keep himself from falling over, unable to fully process the lights and sounds of the outside. Esmerelda moved closer, remarking “We’re your team. Your friends.” He knew they were, and he was so, so happy to see that they were (mostly) okay, but something still called to him. “I’m sorry….” He avoided looking at the others who were begging him to stay, and took Queenie’s hand.

As they walked back to Scarlet and Rettah, Nico called out in a last attempt to bring him back, “Yorick she’s insane! They all are!” but the words held no value to him. As she picked a vile of dust out from Buck’s coat pocket, shaking it back and forth to agitate the material inside, Queenie looked back to the three dismayed hunters. “Give our regards to Madehold.” She flicked the case from her fingers into the neon side, exploding in a shower of red glass and sparks on impact. All of them had to shield their faces from the fire and debris, and when they looked back, Yorick and the others were gone. Esmerelda, Bernard, and Nico were left in the darkness as the red light flickered and dimmed into nothing.

“Haha! And you said it couldn’t be done!” Madehold cackled, pouring herself a fourth glass of scotch from the elaborate bottle that she had to chew the cork off of. “I never said that. You were the one who wanted to cancel the tournament.” Ms.Divine sighed, taking the bottle out of the headmaster’s hand. “This calls for a toast.” Madehold raised her glass, announcing, “To another perfect Prom!” and knocked the drink back happily. Ms.Divine raised the bottle playfully for the toast  before she locked it away in a cabinet. Professor Kismet waddled into the office, disgruntled upon seeing Madehold with her feet up on her desk and kojoling. “Ma’am, I’m afraid we found out where those missing students had gone off to.”

“Oh? Well, bring them in. I’d like to have a talk.”

“Interesting you should say that, ma’am....so would they.”

[27hands]

When I pretended.

Black coffee; spin it gentle, cue cream heaven algorithm, skinny dipping dollar store manicure, brewing tight curls, hubble in a cup. My little double shot whirl-pool, where's my double hot whirl-pool? I hate this, I want to die. Bossy with the world cuz I'm a bad bitch. Broke my heel, he stained my world, they stained my world, I stain peoples worlds everyday, what does this mean? I don't know. Does it matter? Always and forever, yeah, I'll add in beeper codes, it'll be cryptic and 90. Not 90's, or the 1990's, or Portland, or MC Hammer. I'll buy my neighborhood. I'll buy the houses and I'll buy the dogs and cats. Army of dogs and cats complete with barracks and oppressed natives. Heed my words, crumbs of potato chips at the bottom of the bag, the sticky in the cup holder of the Corolla, hair creatures plugging up my brain. I want warm apple pie and french vanilla ice cream. I want vanilla pie and warm apple cream. "I want nothing" is a zero. To "want" is something. I changed my mind. Warm Vanilla cream, slowly focusing eyes, Tibetan prose sublimation event; words transcend to light. $67.36 for a plastic bag, the morning after pill, and a coke. He bought me a scratch off to cheer a girl up. Black coffee, a girls only friend. Smoke it like you're french god damn, "god damn" he said. Sleep me away Romeo. Buy me a small dog and pay my car insurance. You're ok, you're kind of old, kind of Indian, and I'm terrified of what might lie behind the thickness of your beard. You buy me drinks honey... I love you. What does Tabitha want to be when she grows up? I'm a bank robber. Your house is burning. The house, it's on fire, there's still time, go, go! Bubble baths, fresh Clementines, I smell of fire, the radio is personal and the antenna speaks italian. It feels like 22 years of falling asleep. Nightmares. Electric ab stimulators for fat hearts and big eyes. Through squinted eyes, television three after midnight. Silk slip. Glass of white, free box, basic. Magic lamp, three wishes, cute drunk boy, bag of Andy Capp's hot fries, and something numb, a housewife special, I'll never be, so it's obvious what I need. "No Ammonia." in bad english say's Penelope; Revlon. "I'll put you to bed early!" my response to him saying that he's been going to bed progressively earlier since we started dating. It's only been two months, I think. Do not disturb, I am writing! Do not disturb the bee hive, I am the soul eater. Killer Queen Bee. "Plato, just some old white guy." "Well he's dead now." "Ding dong the bitch is dead.". Hmm, I sometimes wonder...Is the gas station clerk an alien, like a real alien, with purple skin. Tiny alien inside giant Arabic model mechanical human giving me change for cigarettes. Or is it possible that Oprah Winfrey is over six hundred years old? Why does the thought of washing other peoples hands bring me closer to my soul? Tiger print booty shorts and Margaritas in plastic cups! I sculpt Alabaster stone with my eyes. Get what you want before somebody else eats it all up. Jelly donuts haunting me. My fingers smell like cigarettes. I woke up mean and aiming a hand gun at the piano. HE woke up, taunted the cats, something about the yawning claw cat club, stole a book on Tibet from my roommate, rambled about how he needed to "escape" for coffee and sustenance, I would have struck him dead if it wasn't for his dashing good looks. I pointed my gun at his piano playing while he gathered free drugs on the porch and danced around like an asshole. Floating raft of kerosene and red pumps. Flaming arrow by Chanel plucked from Paris. Rose petals are contagious. It's no coincidence that the dark chocolate's, like the dark arts, across the aisle from lipstick and glitter nail polish. I reek of fire. I reek of fire. I reek of fire. I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and see that one movie for the first time in that one theatre that one time when I was somewhere around the age of you know... eleven. I need a big bow on my head that reads "NO". Maybe I can get Herpes and join one of those dating sites where everyone has Herpes. Live in a circus tent with a clown named Bongo sipping Mai thais under the flaming hoop, slap a tiger in the face, let'em keep his clown shoes on when we... start a nice little Herpa-A-Derp Partridge family. Tiffany lamps, Empty one-gallon gas cans, Full one-gallon ice cream cans, handful of stamps, rested writing hand, corded telephones stretching from room to room. The Operator is a spider. You'll trip your sister with the web you weave. Woopie, Wazooooo, I'm goin' to Vegas. Bank robber turned show girl, tonights news at eight. It's 4:14 AM the sun won't come up today. If dissatisfaction manifested physically, it would fill the air with grey and blinding ambient poison. If I had the power to manifest my emotions physically be warned for ye shall suffer one thousand years of blood shed and plague. I am Sludge, I have no remorse. A kitten today at Willard and Reynolds pet emporium lost 3 of it's 9 lives. Scientists believe that the clock is actually an ancient life form in a state of willful hibernation. If Sandra believes that I'll actually let her crash on my couch for "a little bit until I get my head straight"... "Mmmm yesss can I help you?" Black leather and red lanolin. Dead Cow, dead whale, inspirational. Dead bitch, white bitch, move bitch I'm next! I want this, I want that, I want THAT now! Trash, leave. Brief pause... I'm a dreamy whimsical sober and a Terminator II level drunk. Let's rock. Patience otherwise known as long suffering. I'm the girl in the corner playing madlib in my head with the cable TV trying to blend in. Surrounded by numb & weakened moths worshipping the dim & easy to reach lights. Getting weirder by the second. Can I come to your party and not have to talk? I'll smoke your cigarettes. Purple lightning Jeggings and Winnie the Pooh socks from the Party store bring happiness. Gas station chicken tenders and apple pies while the water soaks in. My elegant black gloves have never touched a steering wheel nor dare they dream of such sorted affair! Dare they dream! I dare them to dream. See where they'll end up? With the rats. Gold dipped Cheetos. Never-ending Po' boy. World wide oceanic light rail. Elevator to heaven for glass floor tours of earth. Oh I love my ugly boys. Two woman stand gossiping in the coffee room of Webber Electronics. One woman notices an itch near her wedding ring. Suddenly the woman, the room, the building, the streets and the piss, the hotdog hot air rising up from the sewers, the monarch butterfly in the dogs mouth, the America's funniest home videos over broccoli & cheese with the pork chops and the family they belong to, Poof. Cotton Candy. Big pink plumes firing like geysers from apocalyptic sink holes. Sky turns blood pink. Cotton candy fungus swallowing people alive. Everybody dead. I mean, nobodies really dead but these people looked really dead. Like really really really dead. Like "Fuck I'm dead." dead. I am a pit-bull terrier and you're fucking with the ultimate.  

[archiveda]

🎲

Send 🎲 and I will generate an AU off this list

10. Revolutionist x Monarch’s Guards AU.

@fromgallowsandgraves

Kveta and Adam

Men, women, and children werefighting off illnesses, starvation, and thirst while the king, in all hisdespotism, sat upon his throne indulging his insatiable greed. There was nomoney. The king had taken all of that in the form of taxes. And there was nofood. A drought had ravished the harvest and what little was left had beenrationed out, but the queues for such were long and by the time one approachedthe counter there was hardly anything but crumbs to be seen. Desperation had set in. Thecity was falling into despair and those left were faced with impossiblesituations. Many stole, or worse, murdered, for the smallest of morsels to feedtheir children while they, themselves, went without.

Riots had begun to spring forthlike wildfires around the kingdom. Not that it surprised Kveta. Even she,someone who had grown up without a home, or food, and had to scavenge all herlife, knew that it wouldn’t be long before the people rose up to overthrowtheir king. The momentum was spreading. And while it was hidden, the girl hadbranded herself with a mark of the revolution. She believed in a better future. She had to. Surviving was not a way to live. And so, she had agreed to search the castle walls for a weak spot. All fortresses had them. It was just figuring out where and how to exploit it.

Quietly the cloaked girl scouted around the skirts of the wall. Her footing, while sure, led her along the edge of a rocky precipice which fell several feet down into a river. It was just wide enough for one man to walk abreast, but no more. If the revolutionaries were going to be successful, they were going to need to be stealthy and organized. 

Tearing her gaze away from the edge of the cliff, Kveta continued until she found it. Just on the North-Eastern side of the wall she found a small place where the guard towers could not see. Golden hues glanced around before scaling the tree just opposite of the wall. She was glad she was small because she wasn’t sure how much weight these branches could hold. Certainly not a full grown man, but her?? 

Kveta held her breath as she edged towards the wall along the shaking branch. And carefully, oh so carefully, she managed to step onto the wall, thankful for its thickness. 

Standing there, hands on her hips, she wore a wide smile. She had done it! She had scaled the wall without alerting anyone of her presence. Even if the men couldn’t walk out on the branches as she had done, it would be easy enough for her, or someone else, to climb up and tie a rope around the thicker branches so that they could brace themselves against the wall. 

Which is exactly what she did now, throwing the rope over the side and within minutes she had scaled back down on to sturdy ground. Only, she was now safely inside the walls. Quickly and quietly she paced through the dusky night time land towards the servant’squarters.

She would have had to have been afool if she were to think she could waltz in through the front door of thecastle. But the back door? The servants’ quarters were hardly protected. There weren’tenough guards to watch over them. Not when the King was far more concerned withhis people bursting through in a riotous mob with pitchforks and torches. Which…was actually quite a likely scenario…

Kveta had already finished the scouting job set out for her, but it seemed like such a waste to let the King keep his entire hoarde of food....And so she found herselfsneaking into the kitchen to stuff her pockets with anything she could find—anylittle bits she could take back to share with the other street urchins. No one was looking out for them... 

However, as she headed back outside, pockets laden with scraps of meat, bread, cheeses, pastries, and fruits, she found herself face to face with the largest of all the guards. Golden hues widened and she scampered back. This man was tall-- taller than anyone she had ever met. She had heard rumors of a giant and a monster protecting the King, but she hadn’t believed them. Was this who everyone had been talking about?? 

She glanced past him... How far could she get if she ran? Probably not very far.... 

“Wha’chyew gunna do?” She glanced back up at him, almost challenging him to take her in for stealing. 

[thewindsoftravel-blog]

Brazil Travel Guide

Tall and tan and young and lovely The girl from Ipanema goes walking and

When she walks, she’s like a samba When she passes, each one she passes goes

O Brasil!

Miles and miles of golden coastline doing samba with the tropical rain-forest. The might of the Iguacu falls. The mystical men and mammals of the Amazon. The seduction of Salvador. Feisty jacares (alligators) of the Pantanal. The isolated beauty of Ilha Grande. Cachaça, O espírito de felicidade. The perennial Brazilian smile and the flirtatious Portuguese. And above all, god himself standing tall and smiling at his creation.

Where is it?

General Information

[table id=6 /]

Tourist Visa Requirements

[table id=CR7 /]

PLUS

Letter from Employer or University (for students)

Cost: Rs. 6,400. (I paid $20 (~Rs. 1350) in Quito, Ecuador)

Validity: 90 Days

Visa Process Time: 10 days

For more information: TOURIST VISA (VITUR)

Why go there?

Beaches, Amazon, Culture, Party, Diversity, Jungle, Football, Cachaça, Samba, Waterfalls

Highlights

Rio de Janiero: The city that has it all. The statue of Christ the Redeemer, golden sands of Ipanema, cachaca at Copacabana, tropical rain-forest, infamous favellas, and samba from sunset till sunrise. Rio will breathe the carioca energy into you and make you dance to its tune

Amazon: The jungles of the Amazon hides mysterious creatures, untouched indigenous tribes and pristine flora. Amazon is every explorer’s dream and every child’s curiosity. Manaus in the north-west is the launching point into the Amazon

Foz do Iguacu: Enormous waterfall that boggles your imagination. You stand in the midst of water roaring down all the mountains around you. It makes your heart beat faster and leaves you teary-eyed with nature’s beauty flowing with the falls

Salvador de Bahía: Brasileños have a wild spirit of their own. In Salvador this wild spirit finds it’s African soul. Salvador was the first port of call for slaves from Africa. Thus, here you find the beautiful fusion of two cultures. Churches, capoeira, drumming and Bahian cuisine are the highlights here

Off The Beaten Path

Chapada Diamantina National Park: About 400 km west of Salvador de Bahia, this national park is an introduction to the other Brazil – dusty roads, dry landscape, and forgotten outposts. Chapada Diamantina has something for everyone – waterfalls, stalactite & stalagmite caves, 3000 year old cave paintings, trekking trails, snorkeling in marble caves and table-top mountains. Come here to indulge into a bit of Brazil beyond the beaches and jungles

Pantanal: The other jungle that gets overshadowed by the big brother Amazon. Pantanal is the largest tropical wetland in South America. The chances of seeing wildlife is higher here than the Amazon. Jaguars, capybaras (largest rodent), jacares (alligator), and hundreds of birds can be found in these wetlands. Tours leave from Cuiaba and Campo Grande in western Brazil

Other villages of Ilha Grande: Ilha Grande, an island with rain-forest, waterfalls, and golden beaches, is an off the beaten path destination in itself. But, if you want to go beyond the beyond, then skip avoid the crowds at Vila do Abraão. Rather spend time in one of the other villages – Dois Rios, Araçatiba or Lopes Mendes – to get an authentic island culture experience. Life in these villages feel a million miles away from the 21st century

Food and Beverage

Buffet: Restaurants all over Brazil have pay by kilo/pound buffet. There are a wide variety of vegetarian options to pick from. You pay according to the weight of your plate

Acaraje: A must try black-eyed peas and onion fritter fried in red palm oil, served with spicy sauce

Vatapá: Bread crumbs, ginger, pimenta malagueta, peanut butter and onions cooked in coconut milk and palm oil. Confirm with the seller that it doesn’t contain any meat

Creppe de Tapioca: A crepe of tapioca. A bit like dosa. You can add numerous toppings, sweet and savory, to the crepe

Acai Bowl: Food orgasm in the Brazilian way. A thick acai smoothie topped with tropical fruits and crunchy nuts. You just can’t have enough of this bowl of beauty

Pao de Queijo: Round bread with stuffed cheese. Goes well with Brazilian coffee

Arroz de Feijao: Your trusty old friend in South America – rice and beans. Ask the waiter if they make Feijao with meat. (Feijao tem carne? – Feijao has meat?)

Cafezinho: Liquidy coffee served in small glasses. Reminded me of cutting chai. Brazilians love sugar, so ask the server for less or no sugar. (um pouco acucar: less sugar) or (nao acucar: no sugar)

Cachaça: Since rum is too boring, Brazilians add a bit of their spirit to it. Cachaça is distilled from fresh sugarcane juice which gives it more body and flavor. Rum, on the other hand, is distilled from molasses. Cachaça from the state of Minas Gerais is very special

Caipirinha: Brazil in a glass – sweet with a bit of tang and the effervescent wild spirit. Cachaça, sugar and muddled lime served over ice. Sip a lot of this while soaking the sun as your feet rest on the silver sands

Infused Cachaça: Many bars infuse their cachaça with local fruits and herbs. They are served in shot glasses. I definitely advocate trying infusions of fruits, berries and herbs that you never heard before. My friend tried an aphrodisiac infusion and later 😉Drink of Immortality: Cachaça Aphrodisiacal Infusion

Destinations in Detail

Rio de Janeiro (Star Attraction)

“God made the world in six days; the seventh he devoted to Rio”

The words get lost in the silver sands of Copacabana beach. The sentences fall short of the Sugarloaf mountain. Alphabets aren’t enough to describe the seduction of Rio. When God himself is proudly smiling atop the city, what can a mere human say about the city.

Rio is sand, surf, samba, and sensuality. If you want to experience God’s own kingdom, do come.

Rio De Janeiro Travel Guide (Coming Soon)

Foz do Iguacu (Iguazu Falls)

“Water water everywhere, this is unlike anywhere”

It is hard to find words to describe the majesty, magnificence and the fantasismo of the Falls of Iguazu. As the bus winds closer to the falls, you hear the prowl and the roar of Iguazu. The first view will leave you wide-eyed, in awe of the sheer amount of water and the way it finds to unleash it’s might. Iguazu falls is a set of waterfalls spanning across 2 km on the Brazilian side. Once you get on the catwalk, you are truly in the cradle of Iguazu. Let go of yourself, the espirito magnetismo will glide you through the heart of the falls.

Chapada Diamantina National Park (Off The Beaten Path)

One of the truest off the beaten path experiences in Brasil. It is the Brasil you never imagine. Dustbowl, wild-wild-west, table-top hills, 500m deep stalactite caves and 3000 year old mysterious cave paintings. Chapada Diamantina is a national park that has it all. It can keep you busy for a week. And, here you will truly be exploring the other Brasil miles away from white-sand, samba, and neon-light parties.

Chapada Diamantina National Park Guide (Coming Soon)

Salvador de Bahia

Take the sexy modern Brasil and add half a bottle of 400 year old Africanism. You get a cultural cocktail to swarm your senses. Capoeira, a blend of martial-arts & dance is performed here in plazas. Bahian cuisine is an ode to western Africa and it will appeal to all tastes with unique dishes not found anywhere else in Brasil. The Salvadoran music and energy keep you up until the wee hours of the morning. And, the old town is a UNESCO World Heritage Site as well.

Bonito

Bonito in western Brasil is an eco-touristic dream. Snorkeling in crystal clear waters of a river with a wide variety of fresh-water fishes. Rappelling down a hole to enter a hidden lake. Visiting a Macaw nesting site. Bonito is a bit expensive in comparison to other places in Brasil.

Pantanal

The less popular but equally magnificent cousin to the Amazon, Pantanal is the largest wetland in the world. <Define marshland, have a page defining different ecosystems>. Pantanal is a sure-footed area to visit if you are interested in wildlife. Alligators sunbathe on riverbanks. Cute Capybara families, the largest rodent in the world, cross the roads. Giant anteaters, armadillos and tapirs are found sniffing the sands. And the creature that takes the crown here is the Jaguar. Yes, if you are lucky, you might spot a Jaguar in this land of submerged islands. If you are a John Grisham fan, then you must have heard about the Pantanal in his book ‘The Testament’

Sao Paulo

The financial heartbeat of the nation. It has couple of good museums, an alley with cool graffiti, and a local market selling fruits, vegetables, nuts, cheese, meat and restaurants serving Brazilian dishes. As an attraction in itself, I will recommend you SKIP IT.

Porto Alegre

Come this far south if you are heading to Uruguay. How to get to Uruguay from Porto Alegre (Coming Soon!)

Brazil Travel Guide was originally published on Winds of Travel