#and the second one they both look at peace and tks hand is at the back of carlos' head pulling him in

[tellmegoodbye]

Thank you for tagging me @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @heartstringsduet @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @strandnreyes and @thisbuildinghasfeelings!

I haven't been able to get much done as I've been pretty busy the past few days, but here's a little something from the wedding fic that I really enjoyed writing.

The morning light falls over Carlos' skin, casting warm tones over his body in a way that makes him look incredibly peaceful as he sleeps. His hand is tucked under his head and his breaths are quiet. TK thinks this might be the first night of truly restful sleep his fiancé has gotten in days.

His fiancé. TK smiles as he remembers that this is the last day that Carlos will have that title, that when they find themselves back in their bed tonight, he will be his husband.

He can't hold himself back when he notices the way Carlos' curls fall across his face. He reaches out slowly and brushes them out of the way, careful not to disturb him as he does so. He pulls back when Carlos stirs in his sleep, his face now completely unobstructed as it shifts, his mouth twisting up in a half smile. Still, he doesn't wake, and TK wouldn't dare make him until he's ready.

Whenever he finds himself awake before Carlos, which doesn't happen often given that his fiancé is the most consistent morning person he has ever met, TK always takes time to watch him. He watches his chest and counts his breaths, subconsciously keeping track of how many seconds fall in between each one, every subtle movement a reminder of the fact that they're actually here.

Against all odds, they both made it.

Tagging @nancys-braids @carlos-in-glasses @goodways @carlos-tk @freneticfloetry and anyone else who would like to participate!

[vickyyoon]

Your Professor Bang Chan - 3 (ending)

Part - 2 <- here

Genre: Angst + fluff in the end

Paring: professor!bangchan x fem!Reader

Synopsis : after you two somewhat broke the connections, you keeping bumping into memories with him and end up trying to tell him..

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A/n : thank you all for loving this fic so much but this might be the last one of this series. Hope you find the ending sweet...

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After that night, you never went back to him. You only had a few weeks left till this year was over and maybe in the future, he wouldn't be your professor.

But you were too hurt to think about that night, you couldn't find the wrong and the right that night.

You left before he woke up and he expected it. He himself wish he had kept quiet, but out of a tiresome feeling of just being used he blurted out the deep thoughts.

You couldnt see yourself the same after that night and so did he. You wondered how easy it would be without him but boy you were wrong...

You enter the lecture hall the same day but you attention was diverted into the huge window. chan wanted to call you out but he was couldnt.

Your face looked dried out and pale. Your lips were white and dead. You're eyes were swollen and you looked tired. You obviously couldn't find peace.

You didn't stay any longer after your classes. You locked yourself up.

Remembering how chan used to take you out on little dates far far away from the city where no one would recognize you, just tk spend time with you.

He gave you what ever you wanted every time. Money didn't have any value when he was with you. On the other hand chan was looking for you because you usually stay after classes. He remembered how you used to buy him little snacks as gifts randomly, you knew what were his favorites more than anyone else.

Some days near the ending of this year you finally head out and open your messages to text him but then you remember you were his nobody.

While at the pharmacy to pick up somethings you spot chan and look away. Something slashed your heart into pieces seeing him. He doesn't notice you until you both end up in front the counter.

You could see yourself from the glass door how bad you looked beside him. You would be hugging him but you couldn't.

He stares at you as you leave after checking out. Hid eyes follow your figure walk out emotionlessly.

You couldn't get enough sleep, even after taking your pills. Usually these nights you would call him and he would bring you food but you were turning sick due to the lack of sleep, maybe it was sleeping with him that you needed desperately.

Chan couldn't focus on work especially when he made you so upset, he felt like he just committed a sin. He really wanted to tell. You that but somewhere in his mind he was ashamed to apologize.

You didn't want to see him but you needed to see him if he was alright or if he was with someone else, something you did without him knowing was look after him when he was outside.

Soon the stress of not seeing you got chan sick, he missed you all day. Mumbling your name sometimes when his fever turns high because you used to rush to him and take care of him when he was sick, not leaving him for a second. You used to tell him your stories, sing him songs, tell him jokes all while holding his hands. He got to know a lot about you when he was sick.

Just the last days before the exam you were experiencing the worst headache of your life. You were breaking down and your head was exploding. You were in the floor bawling and crying with your nose bleeding. Something was wrong but you didn't know.

Luckily your next door roommate heard you and called you an ambulance. Before you knew it you were stabilized in the hospital bed. You had too much stress and it got bad.

" I can say it's very common for students in their final or people who suffered relationship impacts but you should stop for a while."

You knew it was him on your mind that caused you stress but you didn't want to bother him by coming back. You were probably a burden to him.

He gets to hear about your breakdown and your location, he decided to drive there and see you.

Looking at you he couldn't say anything. You were pale and skinny, you were barely alive. He sits beside you and you open your eyes to see him.

He tries to act formal. Like your teacher giving you advice but you don't want to believe that he's calling you that.

" could you pass me that bottle? The orange one." and he stared at your huge table of pills. Pills that deal with your mental health and sleep.

" am I still just a student to you?" you softly asked. He looked down as slowly shook his head.

" then what am I? I hope I'm still somebody in your life." your voice ached but you had to say it.

" a-am I still your channie then? I-if I'm still. Your favorite channie then your still my y/n" his voice was shaky starting to crack. You smiled slowly watching him still avoiding your gaze.

He just apologized when he didn't want to. He really wanted to say it long time ago.

" that was the cause of my stress, the thought of my channie being mad at me. If it's my fault, then I'm really really sorry and if it means loosing my limbs to have you then I'll do it. I can tell you don't want to say sorry atleast say it first." you said and he only wished he didn't make that obvious.

You smile at his red face, he was embarrassed and your hand looked for his but he pushed it away. Surprising you.

"I-I'm sorry. You don't deserve me." he blurted trying to get up and leave.

But you grabbed his wrist " it'll hurt me more if you leave, please." you said as he sat back down.

He remembered when before you passed his exams, he admired your sweet, childlike, innocent and pure behavior from afar.

" if you never gave me that opportunity then I would be lost in studies. I would never find someone like You. I was glad you made the first move but it made me happy to know that you would be mine even for just 3 years." you reffered to your 3 years left in university.

You made sure to not loose him before university. Atleast he wasn't mad at you anymore.

He cried onto your shoulder the entire night, opening up to you about the past few days without you.

The last day before graduation you made him promised that he'll never find someone else after your completion of university. You wanted to wait for your graduation to really be his officially.

[mandoalorian]

Brown Eyes [Din Djarin x Reader]

!! SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 15, SEASON 2. !!

*Hi. The episode has been out for three hours. The devil works hard but I work harder. I hope you enjoy! xx*

Summary: Din has always wanted to confess his love to you— but with his devotion to the Creed and with the risk of losing you, he wonders if the revelation would really be worth it. Would you even consider being with him if he refused to remove his helmet? When Grogu is taken away from Din and in the fiendish hands of Moff Gideon, Din realises there isn't anything he won't do to get his son back.

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: descriptions of anxiety, *SPOILERS FOR Season 2 Episode 15: The Believer of The Mandalorian*

Word count: 2.6k

Permanent taglist - let me know if you want to be added: @supernaturalgirl @phoenixhalliwell @ah-callie @luvzoria @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic @nerdypinupcrystal @wonderfulfluffer @kiwi-the-first @pedroepascal @castiel-barnes @honeymandos

Masterlist

gif credit: @siennablake

"Din," you froze up, backing away from the Imperial who was sitting at a table drinking caf. "I- I can't do it."

Din's head snapped to face you, masked by the Imperial Shocktrooper helmet he was doting. "Why not?" His voice was firm, but the tone of his question dripped with concern. You bawled your fingers into a fist as you squeezed your eyes tight shut, beginning to anxiously pace around in circles.

"That's Valen Hess," you muttered, trying your hardest to regulate your nervous breathing. "He- I used to serve under him. I- can't… go in there. Din, he'll recognise me." the thoughts in your head were jumbled. Din placed two hands steady on your shoulders.

"I'll go, hand me the dataspike." Din told you calmly. You felt like putty under his touch. Usually, his firm grip would calm you down and ease any of your troubles away— but not this time. You felt completely nauseated.

Grogu was at stake. When you met the Mandalorian, it took him some time to find the confidence in introducing you to the child. You were Ex-Imperial after all. But he warmed up to you, seeing the way you cared so deeply for the children on Sorgan. When he introduced you to the little green bean, who did not yet have a name, you were enamoured. That's when Din knew he was in love with you. Ever since that day, he'd only fallen in love with you more and more. His feelings became stronger with every waking second he spent with you.

Of course, he never acted on his feelings. He wished he had, he wished he could say something. He knew that if something happened to you and you didn't know how he truly felt, he'd regret it for the rest of his life. There had been countless times where you and him brushed paths on the Razor Crest. Plenty of times to say something, plenty of times to mutter the three words that had consumed his mind, body and soul. ‘I love you’. The words were like a broken record in the back of his mind. He looked at you through his visor, seeing your distress and his heart aching and he wanted— no, he had to do something.

His son had been kidnapped and suddenly, Din was an unstoppable force. Nothing could hold him back— not his friends, not the Creed, nothing. The regret ate him up like flies on a corpse. If there was one thing he learned from Grogu's disappearance, is that you never know what is coming around the corner. Din began to treat everyday with you like it was your last because there was no way of telling what the future was holding. And that only stirred him on, the desire of telling you how much you meant to him.

"You can't go," you removed your finger from your lips where you had been anxiously biting your nails. "The security system is biometric facial recognition. There must be another way." you tried to rack your brain for a solution, but Din's mind was already made up.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes in search for an answer. You steadied your breathing. "Din," you whispered. "What if we distract them? You go in there and speak to him so he's looking the other way and I'll use that moment to sneak past and access the terminal."

No answer. "Din?" you asked, cautiously opening your eyes. He was already gone. Your mouth began to open and close like a goldfish as you watched his approach the terminal. He paused, midway between two tables, shakily saluting Valen Hess. Din turned back to the terminal, held his head up high and carried on over to it.

Upon examining it, Din found it was no different to any other information point— whether it had been New Republic or Independent, Din was lucky enough to already know how to navigate the system. He clicked a few buttons on the keypad, bringing up the facial recognition scanner. He stood still, letting it roam down his face. He didn't have much faith, but it was worth a shot.

Din cursed under his breath as the scanner light lit up red, beeping ecstatically.

"Error. Error. Facial scanning incomplete. Ten seconds until system shutdown." An automated voice informed. Din felt a few gazes burn into his back, no doubt Valen Hess noticing the commotion. "Ten, nine, eight-"

You watched as the timer went down, your hand fingers curling around the blaster in your holster. You didn't know what Din was going to, but you knew if anything— he was a man with a plan.

And that was when he removed his helmet.

It hit you like a ton of bricks, it took the air from your lungs leaving you gasping in silence. You felt like a criminal, looking at him with your own eyes. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't tear the gaze from the back of his head.

Brown hair. Dark brown hair, slightly messy from the helmet. Although you were some distance away, you noticed the little waves and the way it curled at the nape of his neck. The cut of the Imperial armour revealed just a sliver of his skin. It was golden tan— surprising to you.

"Facial scanning complete." The dataspike ejected from the terminal, a small light lit up in green, validating that the information had been processed and Din was now the owner of Moff Gideon’s co-ordinates. Just as he was about to put his helmet back on, a voice interrupted him.

Your heart sank when you saw that Valen Hess had approached Din.

"Trooper, where are you stationed?"

"Transportation."

"What?"

"My designation is transport— co-pilot."

"No son, what's your TK number?"

Din felt his throat dry up as he looked the man in the eyes. Valen Hess stared at Din right back, looking into the eyes that nobody had gazed into since Din had been sworn to the Creed. Din swallowed the lump in his throat, only for it to return immediately.

"He's with me." you announced, walking over to Din and Hess. A wash of relief shuttled through Din's body upon hearing your voice, but that was completely blown away when he realised you had seen him. It was true, you had seen his face— but there was no time to act up. Din had sacrificed everything for Grogu and you weren't going to let this go wrong. "This is my trooper, sir."

"Who is he and what's his TK number?" Valen Hess repeated, clicking his tongue between his teeth.

"This is my commanding officer TK-0402, and I'm TK-0322. I'm afraid he doesn't speak much. Ever since his vessel lost pressure on Tanaab." You explained with confidence, sighing apologetically and placing a hand on your hip.

Din found the courage to look at you, making brief yet bewildered glances between you and Valen Hess. He had a thousand questions but he knew he could trust you, and so, he smiled wearily, nodding his head in agreement to your little story.

"What's his name?" Hess inquired.

You took a deep breath, and turned to face Din. He looked at you too, his face softening as your eyes met for the very first time. You felt your heart rate slow down as you took in his appearance. You were nervous, and tensions were high, but as you looked into the Mandalorian's sparkling eyes, you felt a familiar sense of belonging. You felt complete.

"Brown eyes." you whispered, feeling the tears pool up as you tried to choke back a sob. Din smiled at you, just a small smile, but enough to make the corners of his eyes crinkle. It gave you the reassurance to know that this was all worth it.

"Well, brown eyes," Valen Hess adjusted his belt. "You troopers were both on the transport that brought in the valium, correct? The only surviving shocktroopers, might I add." he grinned, raising an eyebrow.

"Y-yeah, that was us." You answered hesitantly.

"Please, come join me for drinks. We must celebrate." Hess said, approaching the table he was originally sat at and ushering you over with an exaggerated gesture.

You and Din exchanged a look before walking over to the table and sinking down into the chair. Hess poured out two cups of caf and slid them over. Din stayed silent for most of the conversation, briefly making utterances of affirmation and nodding his head to suggest that he was indeed listening.

Although, he wasn't listening really. His mind was racing and he couldn't concentrate on anything. Although it wasn't necessarily true, he felt like every head in the room was looking at him. Staring at him. Judging him breaking his oath. Was he a failure? Was he a disgrace to the Creed? Dishonourable? A monster?

"I could blather on 'to health' or 'to success', but… tell me TK-0322, where do you come from?"

"Alderaan." you said without hesitation. Din looked at you with furrowed eyebrows, wondering why exactly you had given Hess the details of your real planet.

"Ah, I see…" Hess frowned. "Well, to Alderaan!" he grinned, raising his glass in the air.

"No." you deadpanned and Hess shot you a confused look.

"No?"

"No." you repeated. "Alderaan was a peaceful planet destroyed by the Empire."

"And those on the Death Star, those who aided in the destruction of Alderaan became heroes of the Empire. I was there." he said with pride.

Din watched your face harden as your cheeks burned up with rage. "Heroes?" you croaked out. "For attacking and murdering innocents? Hundreds of thousands of people died on Alderaan. I lost my family."

"Losing the ones we love is simply part of life," Hess revealed with a sigh— and Din felt his heart shatter at his words. He stiffened up, his gaze fixating on the concrete wall as his surroundings began to faze out.

"At what cost?" you whispered. "You know, every day I think about it. I wished there was something I could do to stop it. But no, I was here, fighting for the Empire. While the Empire was out killing my people." You gritted out as tears pricked your eyes. You felt Dins hand manouver under the table and take place on your thigh, as his gloved fingers rubbed comforting circles into the thin material that covered your skin. His hand was large, fitting around your leg perfectly. He held you down, stopping your anxious shaking and you immediately calmed down. Din wasn't going to stop you, but he did want you to not let your feelings intrude on what was really happening right now. Valen Hess, however, looked mortified. You picked up the glass and forced a smile. Din copied your movement and you clinked your glass with his. "To family." you toast, and Din smiles. He smiles so wide a dimple appears in his cheek.

"To family." he confirms, thinking about his son and how close he was to getting him back.

You put the glass of caf back down on the table and quickdrew your blaster, shooting Valen Hess in the chest.

Din knew better than to question you. He took out his own pistol and helped you take down the remaining troopers and Imps in the room before you both raced out of the base.

Of course, you knew that there'd be commotion. You heard the TIE fighter engines as soon as you stepped foot outside. Din grabbed your hand, pulling you along as you both sprinted into the depths of the forest. Once deep enough, you looked up. It was dark, strings of light beaming through the gaps in the trees. But it was enough to illuminate Din. You had envisioned what Din looked like beneath his beskar helmet every single day, and now, you had your answer.

Din took one look at you. He pulled off his leather gloves, dropping them to the ground and placed his hand on your cheek. Subconsciously, you leaned into the warmth of his palm as his fingers tucked the strands of hair behind your ear. You closed your eyes, humming in delight as his bodily warmth transferred to you.

"Din, when we return to the ship you can put your helmet back on. I never saw you." you promised, your voice barely above a whisper and your eyes remaining closed.

"Cyare," Din mumbled, his heart yearning. The pad of his thumb traced your face, following the height of your cheek bones and the arch of your eyebrows and down your nose. "Open your eyes." he requested. Cautiously, you obeyed, your eyes fluttering open as you drunk in his appearance once more.

Brown stubble with a patch of grey graced the lower portion of his face. You reached out, this time your own hand cupping his cheek. Din didn't let go of you, and he let you touch him. Your finger nervously brushed over the coarse hairs and you let out a small giggle as you remembered him telling you from the Fresher room on the Razor Crest that he was going to shave. He had, and now you could see for yourself that it had started growing back.

"Do… do you like what you see?" Din asked nervously, his gaze only temporarily lifting from yours.

You nodded your head. "I do," you admitted. "You're… so handsome."

Din felt his cheeks heat up as you watched the small blush creep upon his face. You were enthralled, seeing him like this. Seeing his humanity— his emotions and expressions. You knew you loved Din, with or without the helmet— but this confirmed everything.

"May I?" Din asked, leaning into you slowly and closing his eyes. The curve of his nose bumped against yours as and the softness of his lips touched you so delicately.

You mumbled a small 'yes' and as your lips parted, Din kissed you. Soft, sweet, but passionate and with heart. You tangled your hands in his hair, tugging at it and encouraging Din to kiss you deeper and further. He done so, willingly, a groan of pleasure escaping his mouth and vibrating through your body.

He pulled away eventually, breathless and his eyes dark and glazed. "I-I…" he was speechless, looking at you with the utmost adoration. "I love you." He sighed in defeat, knowing now was a better time than any to admit his true feelings. He had to do it one day, and it just so happened to be in the depths of a forest as you hid from Imperials.

"I love you too." you exhaled shakily, thrusting forward into his arms and letting him hold you tight to his chest. He pressed a kiss into your hair.

"I love you so much." Din sobbed, his grip around you tightening like he was afraid that if he let go, you'd vanish just like Grogu did. "Please, never leave me. Please."

"I'm not going anywhere Din," you promised. "Now c’mon, let's go get Grogu."

PART TWO

[morganaspendragonss]

before we both lose this fight (1/?)

myself and @tarlos-spain are back with a new fic! for this one, the idea was all vicky's and i'm just fortunate enough to be along for the ride. we're writing this fic following prompts from various bingos we both have - each chapter is written to fill a different square. vicky wrote this first chapter, so she chose off one of her bingos, then i translated into english. read the spanish here! prompt: concussion ao3 | 1.8k | canon divergence from 2.07, canonical character death, head injury, hurt carlos

Carlos wondered how they had got to this point, to the stupid softball game. They were adults, yet they were still behaving like children, Owen first among them. The man refused to accept that he had a problem with authority, not to mention his anger issues.

Then there was O’Brien. Carlos didn’t know him well, but he’d heard talk about him and how insistent he was on doing things his own way. When Carlos saw that these two forces would be clashing, he knew that it could only end badly.

As far as ‘badly’ went, a softball game wasn’t the worst that could happen, as long as no one played dirty; Carlos didn’t see any of his friends from the 126 doing something like that.

As for the traffic cops, Carlos couldn’t speak because he didn’t know them. So he just hoped that everything would turn out okay and the game would be entirely friendly.

He couldn’t even believe his own words.

He didn’t know that TK could play softball, nor that he was good at it. He’d imagined all sorts of potential accidents his boyfriend could suffer with a bat in his hand; he imagined spending the night with him in the hospital because he hurt himself, because he fell or a bat went flying and hit him on the head.

That was the problem that came with having a danger magnet boyfriend.

But, contrary to his expectations, everything went well. The game was fun and much fairer than Carlos had thought. It might have even been him who was receiving the worst looks from the cops for not being on their side. But, if Carlos had to choose a family, then it would be TK and the 126.

Nancy wasn’t a great player, so Carlos cheered her on harder than the others. Indeed, it turned out that TK didn’t need encouragement with his perfect hits, the distances he made the opposite side run, and his easy runs from one base to another.

Sometimes, as a joke, Carlos would say that TK was big-headed; it was in moments like this that he could actually believe it. TK would always answer with, “The bighead and the control freak, we only need one more for a good joke.”

But things were going well, and when the last batter — Nancy — stepped up, it could be said that things were close enough that a little bit of luck and a home run could make the 126 win the game.

Carlos couldn’t believe the strength with which Nancy launched the ball to the other end of the pitch. She had done it; everyone began to run. TK and Tommy crossed the final base, and Nancy was going to too. The 126 was about to win the game…

Until the fear Carlos had had since the beginning became real and, before she could reach the base, the catcher from the other team tripped her. Nancy fell to the ground and she was out.

It was a matter of seconds before the fire caught, and Carlos had to run to attempt to restore peace when he saw that the fight between the two sides wasn’t just verbal anymore; Owen had thrown the first punch.

He saw two cops surrounding TK so he ran in that direction, though he knew that his boyfriend wouldn’t back down easily, even if he got hit.

Carlos had found it difficult to believe when TK told him about the fights he’d gotten into at school. “I wasn’t exactly one of the cool kids, honestly. I know girls liked me, and guys didn’t like that, as much as everyone knew I was gay.”

Until that moment, he couldn’t believe it. Now, though, TK was ready to break the face of two cops who had almost a head on him and clearly didn’t want to be friends.

Carlos had to stop them. He had to get in between them, talk, and avoid things going any further. At least with his boyfriend; he’d already seen that Owen had thrown a punch, Tommy too, and Paul wasn’t hanging back.

His only concern was making sure TK was safe.

“Hey, come on guys, let’s drop it, yeah?” he said, inserting himself between TK and the cops.

“Did you see what those cheaters did?” TK protested.

“I saw, and it wasn’t pretty, but we’re adults so we’re not going to…”

“Hey! You’re one of us and you have the gall to call us cheaters,” one of the cops said, getting closer to them.

“How can you say that about a cop like Carlos?” TK shouted. “He’s far better than any of you, who only know how to play dirty.”

“You’re a fucking traitor to the force,” the other cop said, taking a long stride towards TK. “But your boyfriend… Fuck, your boyfriend is going to pay for talking to us like that.”

Carlos acted on instinct, his only thought being to protect TK from the blow the cop intended to inflict on him. What he didn’t see, however, was the other blow coming for him — before he knew it, he was on the ground from two hard hits to the head.

He heard TK shouting and voices of other people surrounding him, but everything had an echo. It all sounded far away and it was hard to see properly because little white dots were dancing in his vision.

“Carlos, babe. Carlos! Can you hear me?”

He saw TK in front of him — or, rather, he saw his outline and felt his hands stroking his cheeks.

“Yeah… I hear you.”

“How many fingers am I holding up?”

Carlos could tell that TK was holding up three fingers, though the image was blurry and his boyfriend’s voice echoed in his head. His voice, and that of everyone else, seemed to be shutting off even as everyone surrounded them.

“Carlos, look at me.”

He turned towards Tommy’s voice and a bright light made him cry out.

“It will be best to take him to hospital so they can run some tests.”

“Did we really hit him that hard?” one of the cops who had punched him said.

TK stood up and turned towards him; if it wasn’t for Judd stopping him, he’d probably have thrown himself on them.

“How about you quit while you’re ahead and get out of here?” Judd said without letting go of TK for a moment.

“Owen, get the car,” Tommy said. “Carlos, can you stand? We’re going to the hospital.”

The two cops stopped mattering to TK as soon as Carlos began to move. He wrapped an arm around his waist and helped him to stand; his boyfriend’s body practically fell onto him, so he almost carried him to his father’s car.

“Does your head hurt? Are you feeling strange?” TK asked while they waited in the ER for a doctor to call them.

“Yes, my head hurts, but it’s not terrible. I think it’s just from the hit.”

TK held up his fingers again. “How many?”

“Tee, we’re in the hospital. Let the doctors handle it.”

“I can’t not worry, Carlos. I was there, I saw how they hit you and how you fell. It wasn’t nothing.”

Carlos rested his head against TK’s shoulder and closed his eyes for a moment.

“Don’t you dare close your eyes, Carlitos.” Andrea’s voice entering the waiting room caught Carlos by surprise. “We’ve already been through this more than once, you know you can’t sleep.”

“Mamá?”

“Yes, TK called us. It seems you weren’t scared enough about suffering another concussion.”

“Another?” TK asked, turning to his boyfriend.

But, before he could ask, a doctor called Carlos back, asking that his parents, TK, and Owen wait outside.

“Andrea.” TK sat next to her. “Did you say that this isn’t the first concussion Carlos has had?”

“He hasn’t told you? He had two in school from playing football, and he had to quit because of it. But he hit his head at work a little more than four years ago. The doctor told us that he had to be careful; another blow to the head could be dangerous.”

TK felt his stomach lurch and, though he didn’t know it, his face paled and his hands began to shake. Andrea took them and squeezed. 

“He’s a cop, he could have hit his head at any point.”

“You know what Carlos is like. He doesn’t like to be seen as weak.”

They didn’t talk more until Carlos walked out through the ER door, followed by the doctor who had checked him. Carlos was walking slower than usual, but everything else seemed to be okay.

He went towards TK and let him hold him tight, smiling when he felt a kiss on his neck.

“How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts, but I’ll live.”

“Doctor?” Andrea asked.

“Looking at his history and his greater risk of side effects from concussions, my recommendation is that he rests for three days at least, with someone close by to avoid any scares.”

Gabriel offered to take them home so Owen could rest after the game. Once home, Andrea made dinner so they didn’t have to cook and, between all of them, they managed to get Carlos to lie down in bed.

“You should have told me.”

“My mom already told you about my two accidents in school, right?”

“They weren’t just accidents. You hit your head and now you’re at risk if it happens again like it did today.”

“Tee, do you think I don’t know? My mom has been reminding me my whole life. Do you think you could avoid doing the same?”

TK stared at him. He hadn’t expected that response from his boyfriend, but he imagined that Carlos had been just as scared as him about what had happened.

“I’m sorry, I just… Ever since we got together, you’ve been telling me to say something when something happens to me, and I’m not used to things happening to you. But I promise not to bother you too much.”

He kissed his forehead and made to get up, but Carlos reached out and tugged on him.

“Tee, I’m sorry.” He stroked his hand and smiled. “I got scared. Last time I hit my head I was unconscious for two days and the doctor said that another blow could be really dangerous.”

“Does that mean you’re going to behave and you’ll rest?”

Carlos nodded, but he couldn’t say anything because TK’s phone began to ring. He closed his eyes to rest while TK talked, but a few seconds later, his boyfriend squeezed his arm. He opened his eyes and was met with a gaze misted over with tears.

“Tee, my love. What’s wrong?”

“It’s my mom. She’s dead.”

[bellakitse]

Nothing ever stays the same

Farmer's Market redux.

A few days after running into his parents at the farmer's market, Carlos and TK run into them again. This time Carlos tells them who TK really is to him.

Spoilers for 2.04

They give the farmer’s market another try. TK suggests it since they didn’t get a chance to explore all of it the last time. Carlos agrees, even though he’s a little tentative about it.

TK swears up and down they’re okay and spends the rest of the week at his place. Carlos thinks it’s both to reassure him they’re fine and because Owen and Gwyneth are acting weirder than ever around everyone.

“They’re both jumpy as hell and secretive,” TK mentions as they walk around the market hand in hand, stopping here and there at different stalls. He smiles sweetly at the old lady that offers him to try one of her organic strawberries. Carlos watches him as he bites into it, smiling as TK’s smile grows at the taste. He opens his mouth when TK turns to him, offering him a piece, and nods when he asks if they should get a pound of the berries.

“What do you think is up with them?” he asks curiously after paying the woman.

“Oh god, who even knows with those two,” TK answers with exasperated fondness. It’s a familiar tone for TK when talking about his parents and their weird relationship. “I rather not speculate, to be honest. I don’t need any more parental trauma,” he says with a dry smile that says he’s only half-joking.

Carlos lets out a sympathetic sound before touching his shoulder, tugging him gently towards him. He’s relieved when TK comes into his space without hesitation. Even though TK has repeatedly told him everything is okay between them and understands his situation, Carlos can’t help but be unsure. He knows he really hurt TK just a few days ago in this very place, and the thought has been plaguing him since. He can’t stop thinking of when they first began and how TK’s reluctance to define them hurt him. But back then, they weren’t in love. If TK denied them now, he’d be heartbroken.

It kills Carlos that he did that, allowing his fears to take over, hurting the man he loves.

“Hey,” TK questions quietly, his green eyes soft and loving. “Where did you go? You were a million miles away just now.”

He shakes his head and forces a smile on his face hoping it’s enough to distract TK. The sad, knowing look on TK’s face tells Carlos it isn’t. He winces at the loud sigh he lets out.

TK reaches out, touching his thumb to his brow, smoothing it over, and Carlos can’t help a sound of his own at the gentle touch. He closes his eyes as TK leans in, pressing his lips to his temple as he hugs Carlos to his side.

“Stop feeling guilty already,” he murmurs against his skin, huffing out a dry laugh when Carlos tries to deny it. He gives Carlos a look as he pulls back. “It’s like you think I can’t read you like a book by now. I see every worried look you send my way. It looks like you’ve had a stomach ache for days now, enough, baby,” TK lightly scolds him, his affection for him shining through it. “We’re moving past it, okay?” he finishes in a serious tone.

Carlos looks at him and finds nothing hidden behind his eyes he doesn’t mean. He opens his mouth to say yes, that he’ll listen this time and move on from their fight when he stops short, the reason for their argument standing by the cheese stall a few feet away from them. “You gotta be kidding me,” he whispers, honestly shocked at the chances. Since when do his parents visit the farmer’s market so damn much?

TK turns his neck to follow his line of sight; he tenses against him when he finds what he’s looking at. “Damn, what are the odds,” he says under his breath. He turns back towards him with a smile so forced on his face, Carlos thinks he actually hears his heart break from seeing it. “I’m going to take a walk around the corner before they see me. You go say hi.”

TK takes a step away from him without waiting for an answer, and Carlos realizes he’s serious; he’s really willing to hide to make sure he’s comfortable. Carlos has never loved and hurt more for someone in his life. He sticks out his hand, taking TK’s before he can take another step away from him.

“No,” he says softly but firm even as his heart pounds like a jackrabbit against his ribcage as he comes to a decision. He’s scared, he can hear his pulse roaring in his ears, but he refuses to let TK feel like he did days ago; he won’t let them go through that again. “No,” he repeats once more as he gives TK’s hand a squeeze. “Nothing ever stays the same,” he reminds him of his comment from the other night, getting a quirk of TK’s lips in return. “And I don’t want it to.”

TK’s eyes widen as he gets his meaning; they stray to Carlos’ parents. They still haven’t noticed them but probably will in a matter of seconds. “Are you sure?” he asks, concerned. “This doesn’t have to happen now, I meant what I said.”

“I know,” Carlos cuts him off, knowing TK has been nothing but sincere since their talk. TK is more than willing to let him set the pace to this, and Carlos couldn’t possibly love him more for it, which is why he can’t hide him from the people he loves. “Come on,” he whispers, tugging on his hand as he starts to walk towards his parents. He feels TK give it a squeeze of his own.

“Mami, Dad,” he calls out to them, getting surprised smiles in return as they turn towards him.

“Carlitos!” his mother says happily, as his dad lets out a chuckle.

“Twice in one week at the same place,” he says with a grin. “Is the farmer’s market where first responders hang out these days? In my days, we’d just hit a bar,” he teases.

Carlos tries to smile at the joke, but his focus is on his mom, who has quickly zeroed in on his and TK’s clasped hands. She looks up at him with wide, surprised eyes.

She stares at him for a moment more, understanding entering her brown eyes. “Oh,” she says softly.

“Yeah,” he whispers back with his heart in his throat. “Mami, Dad – this is TK,” he says before looking back at him, not at all surprised at the love and support he finds in his gaze. “He’s my boyfriend, and the man I’m madly in love with.”

He turns back to them, finding their attention on him, though they both stray a look at TK once more. “I lied the other day because I was scared,” he tells them, answering their silent question. “You guys and I don’t talk about me being gay, and for years that has worked out fine,” he says, holding up a hand when his father opens his mouth to speak. “I know you guys love and accept me, but it’s been easier all these years to just ignore the elephant in the room because there was never anyone that really mattered to me.”

Carlos turns to look at TK once more, smiling at him as his heartbeat settles into a peaceful rhythm. He knows, no matter what happens next, everything will be fine because he has TK.

“That’s changed now,” he finishes knowing how true it is.

There is silence between the four of them for a moment before his father clears his throat. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, TK,” he says with a small but sincere smile.

“Yes,” his mother follows gently. “Very nice to meet you.”

TK swallows first before giving them a smile of his own; it’s nervous at the edges but beautiful. “It’s very nice to meet you too.”

His mother smiles at TK the same smile she usually reserves for him, it’s welcoming and kind, and it loosens the tension in Carlos’ shoulders. Proving she misses nothing, she instantly catches it, her expression changing once more as she looks back at him.

“You were scared to tell us about your relationship,” she comments quietly, looking sad when he gives her a shaky nod. “Oh, Carlitos,” she lets out a sigh before taking a step towards him.

Carlos swallows hard as she looks up at him, holding his breath when she reaches out, touching his cheek. “Tu sabes que te amamos, no importar qué, si? Siempre mijo, we love you,” she says sternly with tears in her eyes.

Carlos looks over at his dad, who looks affected by her words too. “Listen to her, son,” he says gruffly. “Your mother is always right.”

“That’s right,” his mother answers smugly, as she gives him a  watery smile. She pats his cheek lovingly before she looks over at TK again.

“You have a kind face,” she tells him, chuckling when TK blushes a bit. “Sweet boy,” she grins. “I can’t wait to get to know you better.”

“Maybe Carlos can bring him to Tia Lucy’s,” his father suggests suddenly, and Carlos lets out a startled laugh at the way his mother lights up.

“Yes,” she says enthusiastically. “Oh, you have to, Carlitos. You know how Tia Lucy loves pretty boys. She’ll adore him.”

“I would love to take him,” he says after clearing his throat, still a little shell-shocked at the turn of events. “That is if TK is okay with it.”

TK nods quickly as a bright smile takes over his face, and Carlos has to hide his own as his mother’s eyes widen in response; he understands her reaction perfectly. It’s taken months to not be completely overwhelmed by TK’s beauty.

“Okay, then,” his father says with a clap of his hands. “That’s settled then, we’ll see you both on Sunday. TK – “ he continues as he holds out his hand to him. “It was nice to officially meet you. You’re okay for a firefighter.”

“Thank you, sir,” TK chuckles as he shakes his hand.

Carlos is pulled into a hug by his mother and then his father, both of them squeezing him tight. His mother surprises both him and TK by pulling him into his own hug. She whispers something into his ear that causes TK to smile again as he nods at her.

They watch them leave, rounding the corner before TK turns to him with the gentlest smile he’s ever seen.

“I’m so proud of you,” he whispers, wrapping his arms around him before the first tear falls down Carlos’ face.

He shakes, but TK just holds him tighter, running his hands up and down his back. Whispering that he’s there, and he has him until Carlos can take a steady breath. When he pulls back to look at him again, TK is ready, wiping the tears off his cheeks.

“What did my mother say to you?” he asks, holding his breath at the bright smile TK gives him.

“She thanked me for loving you,” he tells him, causing Carlos to swallow around another lump of emotion forming in his throat.

“She’s right,” he whispers as he leans in, pressing his forehead against TK’s. They stay like that, blind to the world around them. Right now, there is nothing but TK and his love in Carlos’ world. “Thank you for loving me.”

TK closes his eyes, his adoring smile firmly in place. “Loving you, Carlos, is the easiest thing I have ever done.”

translation for what Carlos' mother says to him: You know we love you, no matter what, right? Always, son

[sapphire11]

Tarlos & 19 ❤️

Hi!!! Sorry this took me a minute to finish, apparently my writing brain doesn't like going from angst to sappy 😂 I hope you enjoy!!

things you said when we were the happiest we ever were

One - “I love you”

It’s been a quiet night in for TK and Carlos. The first one they’ve been able to spend together after a long week of conflicting shifts. TK had come home to find Carlos cooking dinner in the kitchen. Conversation flowed easily as they sat side-by-side on the couch eating. Now they find themselves tangled up together in bed, soft breathes blowing over sweat soaked skin.

Despite there being nothing unusual about this night compared to months of similar nights between them since they officially got together, TK is startled by the sudden realization that he’s the happiest he’s been in a long time, maybe even ever. The comfort he found in Carlos’ arms, has easily spread into comfort in Carlos’ home and his heart. TK is overcome with the feelings of love that he never thought he’d feel again and he can’t wait a second more to share them. 

“I love you.”

His words break the quiet peace that had formed between them in the room. Carlos shoots up with the fondest look TK’s ever seen on his face, cups his palms around TK’s cheeks and whispers back, “I love you too.”

TK falls asleep that night wrapped in love and thinking it can’t get any better than this.

Two - “I’m sorry” & “I forgive you”

Looking around the loft that Carlos had managed to make feel like both of theirs makes TK’s heart swell with unexpected feelings. He manages to blink back the tears that want to form and tease Carlos about being a control freak before they fall to the couch wrapped in each other's arms.

TK watches Carlos heat one of the various meals that have been left for them in their fridge by friends and family from the couch. It’s an ordinary sight, but one that TK won’t take for granted ever again even as he sinks back into the soft cushions and realizes this couch is the very same one that TK helped Carlos pick out before they even found the loft. 

Carlos joins TK with two plates of delicious smelling food and a bright smile. TK returns the smile a little softer and he turns to take Carlos’ hands in his. Carlos stops and cocks his head to the side as he silently waits for TK to speak. This feeling of being seen almost sends him to tears again, but TK takes a deep breath, “I’m sorry.” 

“TK no, we talked …” Carlos begins, but TK cuts him off by leaning in and giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

“We did, but I just felt it important to tell it to you again in the place I broke your heart.” TK pauses, “I’m sorry Carlos and thank you, for building this home for me to come home to.”

“I forgive you. I’m just happy to have you home TK.” Carlos answers through his emotions. “The happiest I think I’ve ever been.” 

“Me too.” TK answers as they fall together again. 

Three - “Forever”

Early morning light streaming through the window illuminates his fiancé’s face. TK has been awake watching the shadows shift as the sun creeps up. The joy and energy from the early morning proposal and love making that followed hadn’t allowed him to find any sleep. 

Placing a featherlight kiss to Carlos’ temple TK rolls out of bed to start making breakfast for his fiancé, he really doesn’t think he’s going to get sick of thinking that word for a long time. Carlos stirs not long after, and TK hears bare feet padding into the kitchen before feeling warm arms wrap around his waist from behind. 

“Morning fiancé” Carlos' voice in his ear is rough with sleep, and hearing that word from the love of his life does funny things to TK’s insides. 

TK turns around in his arms and tilts his head back to meet waiting lips. They linger together for a long moment, enjoying the presence of the other in the quiet of the early morning.

Carlos peaks around TK’s shoulder to look at the sort of burnt toast slathered in too much peanut butter sitting on a plate next to a cup of orange juice. He chuckles as he moves to pick up the plate.

“How did you manage to burn toast? You’ve been cooking with my mom.” 

TK pushes him playfully, “someone distracted me, no take backs though, you’re stuck with me forever.”

“Forever huh,” Carlos pulls TK back in, “I could live with that.” 

Four - “Whenever I’m with you”

“Do you think they’ve noticed we’re missing yet?” TK asks, leaning back into his husband's embrace as they watch as the sun sets across the pasture in front of them. 

Carlos laughs, deep and happy sounding. “Oh they’ve definitely noticed that we’re missing. There’s probably a betting pool already for where we’ve snuck off to.” 

“Your mom is totally winning that.” TK says through giggles that cause Carlos to look down at him questioningly. 

TK shrugs, “I may have asked her last week where the best spot to sneak off and watch the sunset was on the ranch. I know it’s your favorite time of the day and I kind of wanted to spend it with just my husband.” 

Carlos’ arms squeeze tighter around TK, and he leans down to place a kiss in the crease of his neck and shoulder. TK hums at Carlos buries his face there for a minute, easy breaths floating over his skin. 

“My favorite time of the day is anytime I’m with you.”

“You’re such a sap.” Carlos laughs, but doesn’t argue that claim.

“You’re my happy place too.” TK admits, “Some days I can’t believe our happiness just keeps growing, but I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.”

Five - “Dads”

“I can’t believe we’re dads now,” TK whispers through quiet tears as they roll down his face. 

They’ve just gotten Mila settled into her crib for the first night and despite having gotten up in the middle of last night, TK feels like he could stay awake forever just watching his daughter sleep. 

“I can’t believe we have a daughter now.” Carlos answers with just as much quiet disbelief. 

TK sighs and sways in his husband’s arms to the soft music playing from the noise machine, “I never could have imagined six years ago that I would be this happy.”

Carlos hums softly, “I can’t imagine being happier.” 

He’s proven wrong the very next day when they’re surrounded by friends and family all welcoming their daughter. Carlos really doesn’t mind though. He’d gladly continue having many “happiest day ever” moments as long as he gets to spend them with TK.

send me a ship and one of these and i'll write a mini fic

[sunshineacd]

Falling In Love In The Setting Sun

Number 83: “Stay there. I’m coming to get you” from this prompt list

[1843 words] AO3

The rain beats down relentlessly onto TK’s windshield as he sits on the side of the road at a complete standstill. His car had died a little over five minutes ago and he’s suddenly regretting his decision to take the small detour. But at the particular moment that he had decided to, he wasn’t really thinking about the impending storm. He was, as usual, thinking about Carlos and he wishes he hadn’t left the station without telling him where he was going first. He can only imagine his fiancé sitting in their home worrying about where he had gone. TK stares at the rain falling onto the window, his mind swirling with the thought of not apologising to Carlos before he hung up from their phone call.

TK tries to restart the car and it turns over a few times before it goes silent again. He sighs and accepts defeat before he grabs his phone from the cupholder and attempts to turn it on, but finds it too is still dead. He isn’t even sure how long it has been off for and it pains him that Carlos is probably trying to get a hold of him. TK leans his head back against the headrest and takes a deep breath before he leans forwards to look in his rearview mirror. There’s lights from a roadside diner that he had just passed while driving. He figures it’s his best bet, instead of simply sitting in his car and waiting. He puts his hood over his head and gets out of the car, slamming the door closed and he all but runs towards the lights.

It doesn’t take him long to make it to the diner, pushing open the door. The inside is nearly empty and when TK looks up at the clock on the wall, he finds it’s close to one in the morning. He walks to the counter where an older woman is standing, cleaning mugs and she gives him a friendly smile as he approaches.

“What can I get you, honey?”  She asks, her tone sweet.

“A coffee, please and thank you. Do you also happen to have a phone I could use? My car broke down and I need to phone my fiancé to come and get me.”

“Sure thing.” She says as she passes him a phone. “I’ll get you your coffee.”

“Thank you.”

She turns away from him and he stares at the phone for a moment, he knows he’s going to have to very well explain himself to Carlos and TK hopes that he has just gotten home from shift and hasn’t been sitting worrying for the couple of hours that TK has been gone. He’s not even sure that Carlos would want to hear from him but in the end decides that no disagreement would ever make it so they wouldn’t want to hear from one another. Finally, he begins dialing the number that he knows by heart and puts the phone to his ear as he begins to chew on his lip.

The phone rings three times and TK almost sights in relief when Carlos’ voice comes through to him.

“Hello? Carlos Reyes speaking.”

TK smiles, because he can’t help it and he nearly bursts into tears right there and then.  “Hi babe.”

“TK?” Carlos says and there’s relief in his voice but also a hint of concern. “Thank god, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you. I was worried. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worry. Uh, my phone died and my car broke down.”

“What? Where are you?” Carlos asks, his voice considerably more aware and TK can hear the rustle of footsteps and keys in the background.

“I’m at that little roadside diner about ten minutes from the city.” TK explains, knowing that Carlos will know what he is talking about.

“Okay, stay there. I’m coming to you.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” TK whispers. “And Carlos? I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too, but we can talk when I get there.”

TK nods despite Carlos not being able to see him. “I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

And with that, he’s gone. TK exchanges the phone for a fresh mug of coffee and he gives the waitress his best tired smile. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Did you get a hold of someone?”

“Yeah, he’s coming.”

“Well, we are open all night, so stay as long as you like.”

TK nods and she walks away to deal with another new customer. TK sighs, wrapping his cold hands around the warm mug, his mind wandering back to the phone call he and Carlos had before the both of them had to go back to shift.

“I just don’t understand how you could be so incredibly reckless. Running into a situation like that with zero protection.”

On the other side of the phone, Carlos snorted and TK had froze in his pacing around the bunk room.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” TK asked, referring to the noise that had just come from his fiancé.

“Nothing. I just find it hilarious how you of all people are lecturing someone about doing something reckless.” Carlos said after a moment, his voice is hushed and TK really wished they could have had this conversation at home instead of over the phone.

“That’s different.” TK tried.

“Maybe so. Maybe I’m not made to go through fire, TK. But when you became a paramedic and you ran into that burning building one day without so much as a mask or a helmet? That’s the exact same thing.”

“It’s not, you didn’t have to watch that happen.”

“No, you’re right. I just had to witness the noise of a gunshot or seeing you with a concussion after being hit over the head with a gun.” Carlos said and TK could hear the hint of sadness in his voice when he says it.

“I didn’t ask for those things to happen, I didn’t go running into something that I knew was dangerous.”

“Everything we run into is dangerous, TK. There’s no way of avoiding it.” Carlos said and before TK could reply, he quickly continued speaking. “I have to go back now, we can talk about this when we get home, okay? Be safe and I love you.”

TK sighed, but had accepted the defeat for the moment. “I love you too. Be safe.”

TK had been scared, there was no doubt about it and then he allowed himself to get upset because of it. He had realised long ago that the fear of anything bad happening to Carlos was so deeply rooted within him, that he would shatter into a million pieces. Sometimes that fear took him over and he’s not sure how to handle it. He loves Carlos, like truly and maddeningly loves him. It’s why they had decided to spend the rest of their lives with one another. But he wasn’t mad at Carlos, he was mad at the universe for putting Carlos into a situation that could have potentially harmed him. Or worse.

He’s nearly done his second cup when the door dings from behind him and he instantly turns around to find Carlos. TK stands, giving Carlos a smile and his fiancé doesn’t say anything before walking over and pulling him into a bone crushing hug. TK instantly hugs him back, his arms going around Carlos’ neck.

“I���m sorry,” TK mumbles into Carlos’ neck. “I didn’t say it when I hung up, but I’m sorry. I was just scared about losing you and I took it out on you. You didn’t deserve that.”

Carlos is silent through TK’s ramblings until they pull away, keeping each other as close as possible. “I know you were scared. I’ve felt that way about you more than once, I feel that way every single time you walk out of our front door. But we have to realise that we love each other and that love is more important than any argument we have.”

TK nods. “I really do love you so much.”

Carlos pulls him back into his embrace and kisses his hair. “I love you too, Ty. God, I was so worried about you. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know where you were and then the storm got worse.”

“I’m sorry, babe.”

Carlos shakes his head. “I’m just so glad that you’re okay. Where were you going anyway?”  

TK feels his cheeks burn and he looks down. “I was going to that bakery that you love so much, I wanted to get you the double chocolate muffins you like from there. You know, to make up for overreacting.”

“You were?” Carlos whispers. “But the storm.”

“In my defense, the storm came out of nowhere.” TK says, chuckling. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get them.”

Carlos shakes his head. “It’s okay, sweetheart. It was so sweet that you thought of it. That’s always what counts. But you’re alright, and that’s all that matters right now.”

TK nods. “Maybe I can buy you a piece of blueberry pie instead? I know that’s like your third favourite.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

***

“How do you feel about having blueberry pie as our wedding cake?”

TK raises an eyebrow as he looks at Carlos who is joyfully eating another forkful of the pie in front of him. TK would make fun of him for the suggestion, but he has to admit, it’s pretty good.

“We can have whatever you want.” TK settles on. “I just want you to be happy. Whatever you need.”

“I just need you.” Carlos whispers before he smirks. “But also the blueberry pie.”

TK laughs, shaking his head. “Then you will get it. Anything you want, that I can promise you.”

Carlos smiles and it’s such a wonderful and warm thing that TK gets to witness. A smile made all for him, full of Carlos’ love and admiration. He’s so happy he gets to be the person that gets to have that smile all to himself.

“You deserve to be happy too, you know that, right?” Carlos asks, nudging at TK’s arm with his elbow.

“I do and knowing that I get to spend the rest of my life with you? Makes me the happiest person on this entire planet.”

Carlos doesn’t say anything, just simply leans forwards and gently kisses TK’s lips. When they pull away, Carlos looks behind TK and out the window. “Well, it looks like the storm cleared up. You want to get going?”

“Can we just stay here for a little while longer?” TK asks.

“Of course.”

TK lays his head down onto Carlos’ shoulder as he eats another piece of pie. Soon, the world outside the diner will awaken to find the storm gone and eventually the two of them will follow suit, and will travel back home to enjoy a day off with one another. But for now, they sit with one another in complete and utter peacefulness. In a world that’s just theirs.

[justapoet]

Can it be 43 for Tarlos

It sure can, Anon! I hope you like it! ♡

43. "Being a morning person does make you wierd, but it does not  give you the right to leave without kissing me."

Send me a prompt! | Prompt list

1.6k

read on Ao3

gleaming, twinkling (eyes like sinking)

The first thing people learn about first-responders is just how crazy their work hours can be. Not only the calls, because people find amazingly wild ways to do the simplest of things, but how their agenda bends and breaks to fit in the calendars.

Holidays aren't quite a thing, and forty-eight hours shifts at any moment can fill weekends. Some days go by without an hour of sleep, while others settle in boredom and a weirdly unfamiliar peace around them. It was something they had to learn to get used to as soon as the job begins, even if the frustrations would still remain.

TK knew that it was something he had to deal with, but it was his choice, and it was worth it. He grew up learning his father's crazy schedules and the exhaustion that followed him around, and it had been his choice to do that — to be like his father, to help people —, and he didn't regret it, not a bit.

Until the morning, of course.

The thing is — first-responders, for them to date, really, it took someone who understands the craziness and the problems and the burdens. Someone who didn't mind rescheduling dates and spent sleeping anniversaries, and that some days were just more arduous than others. Someone who wouldn't oppose, who would care enough to be in hospitals and wait for a life or death sentence.

TK pretended he had found that someone in Alex, blinding himself to any and every sign the Universe made sure to give him. He ignored the fights over the time he arrived home — even if they didn't even share one —, and the ones over how he was always too tired to go out with him. TK pretended not to see how Alex hated the interactions he had in the firehouse or the contact he had with his father — and, especially, he always found an excuse to excuse Alex's absence by his bedside at the hospital.

After so many times, it became easier to lie to himself. He would always believe Alex's words, and if not, he would just pretend to.

Pretending. That was it.

And after fooling himself so much over love and caring, it took TK a while, a few months, to get used to what he had found in Austin. In Carlos.

It began when he woke up from his coma after the gunshot, and his father told him that Carlos had spent most of his days after and before shifts beside TK, holding his hand and caressing his hair. Paul told him, too, that the cop had spent his two free days at the hospital as well, even if just sitting in the waiting room, waiting for something to happen.

It freaked him out a little — maybe a little too much. It had never happened before, with any of his boyfriends — and Carlos wasn't even his boyfriend. He was a friend, someone he could surely lean on, but he didn't have to be there with him.

TK understood, now, that it was just who Carlos is. Someone who cares, waits and chooses to have a conversation instead of ghosting someone or storming out on them. Someone who doesn't mind the bad days and understands them — he was a first-responder, too, after all — and always had a kind word to offer.

Someone TK knew he would eventually fall in love with.

And, honestly, he blamed his heart for being a sucker for deep, brown eyes and a smile that could make a butterfly appear out of nowhere in anyone's stomach. On it, and on Carlos' impressive morning disposition on free days — because, for God's sake, how?

TK was used to wake up alone, Carlos never being in bed with him when his biological clock decided he hadn't had enough rest, but he had a life to live. From the first days he had woken up on Carlos' sheets to the ones in which he was tangled in theirs, TK knew he would rarely find his boyfriend asleep beside him.

It was different than it was with Alex, though. He would wake up alone and feel as such, his heart sinking with regret and a feeling that he was only being used — a feeling that he, too, learned to ignore. With Alex, it was a reflex of the emptiness of their relationship, while with Carlos, it was just... Who he was, and he didn't need a visual guarantee that he would walk through the door at any moment.

And it was endearing how the cop would always make them some breakfast or go out for a run, coming back with a different flower every time and offering it to TK. But there was nothing that could beat the days in which Carlos was peacefully asleep, breathing smoothly and smashing his face on his pillows.

TK would stare at him with the most lovestruck look on his face and trace each one of his edges with his fingers. Then, Carlos would wrinkle his nose and wake up slowly, sometimes hiding his face on the pillows and sometimes smiling lazily at his boyfriend.

TK would fall in love every time.

But that wasn't one of those blissful, sweet mornings.

TK could feel the rays of sunshine against his naked skin, the blankets covering only down his waist as he laid on his stomach. The warm Texan breezing over his body denoted how Carlos was already up, for his body wasn't covering his side as it usually was when they fell asleep like that. He groaned, tapping the mattress in a vain search for the warm body that should still be against his, and then let out a disappointed breath. TK rolled over, the covers tangling around his waist and his position diagonal on the bed, his head sinking between his and Carlos' pillows. He took in a deep breath, inhaling Carlos' scent and the morning air that came through the window, and listened to the sounds around the house.

TK had his eyes closed when he heard the bedroom door open again, footsteps approaching the bed, and then the mattress deepening. He knew Carlos was putting his socks on and enjoying the time to look a little bit more at his frame over the bed, but TK didn't move a muscle about it.

When Carlos got up again, and TK could picture him opening the wardrobe to take his bag and gun, he opened one of his eyes to spy on the frame of his boyfriend. He had his uniform on, his curls a bit loose — looking even more beautiful than the day before — and his lips pressed together, something he always did when trying to be silent as if a breath could bother TK enough to wake him up.

TK could only think that each of Carlos' breaths was the lullaby he needed to fall asleep.

The paramedic inhaled deeply, opening his mouth to speak up, his voice hoarse and low but loud enough to be the only thing echoing in the room.

"Being a morning person does make you weird, but it does not give you the right to leave without kissing me," he said, and Carlos, who was concentrated on checking his bag, snapped his head in TK's direction.

Then, his earnest, frowned face melted in a smile that caused TK's stomach to twist in loops and his own eyes to open up slowly. Carlos' muscles seemed to relax, as well, and TK couldn't measure just how much it meant for him the comfort and the trust the two of them shared.

The cop approached the bed, bending down and scooting over TK's body enough for their noses to touch, but his arms holding him up enough so his uniform wouldn't brush the sheets or TK's body. Although it was perfectly cleaned, Carlos had a strange policy over it.

TK waited until Carlos pressed his lips against his, closing his eyes and sinking to the feeling until it lasted too short when Carlos leaned back.

"I wasn't going to," he said, and TK pulled him into another kiss, his hand going to the man's nape and caressing his neck carefully. Carlos smiled briefly, and TK whined when they lost contact again.

"Do you really have to go?" TK asked, looking at Carlos' face and then caressing his cheek with his thumb. Carlos gave him a caring, loving smile, and his hand brushed over the paramedic's waist.

"I'll be covering Collins for just eight hours, babe," Carlos said, his voice low and careful. "Then I'll be back, and we can cuddle for the whole day," he suggested, a smile brightly lighting his face.

TK smiled back and closed his eyes for a second.

"Promise?" he asked, and Carlos nodded, placing a kiss on each of TK's cheek, his chin, and nose, making him laugh. "Hmm... I love these kisses," TK grumbled, and Carlos offered one more over his lips.

"Don't I know it?" the cop asked sweetly, stretching his arm to take another of the covers and put it over TK, who basically purred with the caring act. "Your shift was long. Go back to sleep," Carlos suggest, and TK couldn't agree more than sinking himself on the pillows. "I'll be back soon."

"Okay," TK replied, sighing when his boyfriend pressed a new kiss to his collarbone, over what he knew it was an old scar. "Tell Collins he owes a whole weekend to the both of us," TK said, too, and Carlos laughed again.

"I'm pretty sure he knows, cariño," Carlos said, this time pressing a kiss to TK's forehead and watching while a sleepy, lovestruck smile spread across his face. "Sweet dreams, sweetheart."

And TK would've answered if Carlos' touch hadn't sent him to sleep like a sweet, divine lullaby he had only for himself. Carlos didn't need the answer, though, brightly smiling as he left their bedroom with a light heart and the sweet taste of TK's skin on his lips.

That was another morning worth it waking up for.

[writtenvideoessay]

Star Wars is a Dystopia

     The Star Wars original trilogy depicted an interconnected universe with hundreds of different alien races, and, of course, the powerful, controlling, and ever-present Empire. From the start of the movies, we, the audience, are told that the Empire is bad, an evil force taking over the universe. However, when one looks closer, it becomes clear that the Empire is not merely evil but is, in fact, a dystopia. A dystopia is a society that is the cause of suffering and pain. More than that, a dystopia is the corrupted version of a Utopia, the perfect place. The Empire attempted to create the perfect universe -- a universe without conflict between differing societies and opinions. Palpatine, the Emperor, decided the only way to create such a perfect universe was for it to be controlled by a single man. With a single military and justice system, conflict would be eliminated, and everything should be perfectly peaceful and just. Unfortunately, as one might expect, putting all the power in the universe in the hands of one man does not a perfect utopia create. The Empire is Palpatine, and his will is the Empire’s will. The Empire, under Palpatine, became, rather than a force for peace, a force propelled by greed and controlled by fear. The Empire demonstrates three necessary characteristics of a dystopia, control through fear, dehumanization of both their soldiers and their enemies, and oppression over a lower class.         We first meet the Empire when Stormtroopers board Princess Leia’s ship in search of missing Death Star plans.(00:02:30, A New Hope) Immediately we know two things: The Empire is willing to kill to get what it wants and has little regard for the lives of their soldiers. As the Stormtroopers work their way through the ship, both the rebel soldiers and the Stormtroopers suffer casualties. There is no discussion of the deaths, and Stormtroopers seem uncaring of their fellow soldiers’ deaths. The Stormtroopers themselves are one of the most obvious pieces of evidence of a dystopian society. First, there are thousands of them. We only see a couple hundred, but we know that there are more on every single ship of the many fleets of the Empire. That means thousands, or millions, of people were conscripted or joined the Empire as soldiers. The Empire uses the sheer mass of this gigantic army to induce fear in anyone who might oppose it. Moreover, this massive army is not just a peacekeeping force. The Empire has no qualms about using these soldiers to kill innocent civilians, further instilling fear among the population. In the first movie, we see the aftermath of that, when Luke returns home to the sight of his Aunt and Uncle’s burned corpses.(00:40:30, A New Hope) In fact, we see the Empire kill innocents more than it kills rebel soldiers. Second, the Stormtroopers armor, now one of the most recognizable pop culture references, are specifically designed to be uniform. Each one is exactly alike and hides the wearer's face. This is a classic dehumanization tactic of literally making them not appear human. Third, they are not given names. The one time a Stormtrooper is addressed on screen, he is called “TK-421” by a superior officer on the Death Star. (01:08:22, A New Hope) In later Star Wars movies, there is more nuance given to the idea of the Stormtrooper with the existence of Finn, or FN-2187, but their treatment remains consistent with the Stormtroopers from the original trilogy. The Stormtroopers represent both the dehumanization tactics of dystopias and the Empire’s control through fear.         Almost every planet that the audience is shown has Stormtroopers stationed there. The only places we are shown that do not are Hoth and the Dagobah system. Hoth is an uninhabited ice planet that kills anything on its surface, and the Dagobah system is a swampy marshland inhabited only by Yoda. Every other inhabited planet has Stormtroopers stationed there, indicating the Empire has a stranglehold over the entire universe. One could assume that they are peacekeepers, but they completely ignore the murders that happen on Tatooine. When Luke and Obi-Wan Kenobi attempt to find a pilot to get them to Alderaan, Kenobi kills one person, and cuts the arm off another.(00:46:55, A New Hope) The Stormtroopers, despite being just outside, and fully within earshot, do nothing. Why would the Stormtroopers be stationed on a planet except to make sure things remain peaceful? The answer is: to inspire fear in the locals, thereby increasing both Palpentine’s already impressive control over the citizenry and his power. The Empire does not care at all about the criminal activities of Jabba the Hut and his compatriots. It willfully ignores murder and other criminal activity because it can always use criminals to its advantage.        Tatooine is a prime example for two of the major ways the Empire uses fear tactics. The first being the continued presence of Stormtroopers on a peaceful planet. This does not deter criminal activity but rather the possibility of rebellion. When you know there is a highly trained military force occupying your planet, it is that much harder to entertain the ideas of rebellion. The second is the Empire ignoring Jabba’s criminal activities. By allowing Jabba to do whatever he wants, the Empire gains two advantages on Tatooine. The civilians are now scared of both the actual Empire and the criminal empire, and a potentially dangerous and armed faction now has no reason to go against the Empire. The criminals we see on Tatooine and throughout the universe are almost as highly trained as the Stormtroopers, if not as populous. By allowing criminal activities to continue with minimal interference, the Empire neutralizes a potential threat.         The Empire not only has soldiers stationed on every inhabited planet, but it also can destroy entire civilizations at will. The existence of the Death Star is as much a threat as a real weapon. Its incredible power can only be used against full sized planets, not small fighters, or ships, meaning that it is purposefully designed to instill fear more than fight. The name itself is terrifying, the Death Star, and is used to inspire fear of the power the Empire holds. When the Empire destroyed Alderaan, it sent a message to the whole universe that Palpatine is willing to destroy entire planets to maintain absolute control. Governor Tarkin, the man who built the Death Star, says that he wants to test out the capabilities of the Death Star’s weapon system.(00:58:08, A New Hope) This is only partly true. The Empire wanted to use it, of course, but Palpatine also wanted to prove that it could work. The ability to destroy planets is a horrifying prospect, and it absolutely inspires fear in the rest of the universe. It becomes a dangerous prospect to allow rebels anywhere near someone’s planet, for fear that the Empire would discover it and destroy the entire planet. Later in the movie, the Empire dissolves the Galactic Senate, and Governor Tarkin says that it does not matter because fear will keep the locals in line.(00:37:38, A New Hope) The existence of the Death Star allows the Empire that much more control over the universe.         The last characteristic of a dystopia is one less often attributed to Star Wars because the oppressed group is not one most audience would think about. The droids in Star Wars are shown to have emotions, human intelligence, and absolutely no respect from anyone. C-3PO and R2-D2 are the most well-known droids and both are often shown having fully human emotions. C-3PO is terrified of being de-activated and sold as spare parts, and he forms clear attachments to most of the people in the resistance. In particular, he is shown to have a strong attachment to R2-D2, worrying over him multiple times in the movies. R2-D2, likewise, shows human characteristics. Specifically, he is brave and determined, as shown when he risks his life several times for the resistance. Despite the human levels of intelligence and emotion, the droids are second-class citizens. They are refused service at a bar in the first movie, tortured and taken apart in the second, and nearly killed in the third. While there is a general bias against the droids on the part of everyone in Star Wars, this negative treatment stems from the Empire. The Empire has a very strict line of thinking, if something is useful, use it, otherwise get rid of it. Its opinion on droids stems from the same thing, and that thinking trickled down to the civilians. The Empire has no problem using droids when necessary but never allows them even a hope of citizenship. In fact, calling them second-class citizens is too positive for the way they are treated. They are slaves that can be literally taken apart and put back together in whatever way the Empire wants. C-3PO calls Luke master throughout the trilogy because Luke bought him, and he sees Luke as his owner. In the third movie, we see a random droid being tortured with hot metal on its feet. (00:11:04, Return of the Jedi) By the sound of its screams, we can assume that it does in fact feel pain, a part of its programming that could have only been added to control it. The Empire forces these fully intelligent and emotional beings to work for them as slaves with torture as an incentive.         Even looking beyond the canon of the movies, much of the Empire is based on a real-world authoritarian state, Nazi Germany. The Stormtroopers are based on specialized Nazi troops of the same name. The general fear and awe that surrounds the Emperor is very similar to the way the Nazis treated Hitler. In the second trilogy, the Imperial Order has a salute very reminiscent of the Nazi salute. Learning about and understanding the Empire in Star Wars can help us understand real world dystopias. “Art imitates life”, and we can use that to recognize dystopias or even regular injustice. People must learn about this type of thing to stop it if they see it in the real world. Star Wars may be fun movies with terrible special effects, but they are also a blueprint for what could happen if one person is given too much power and uses that power to enslave those with less means to protect themselves. The parallels drawn between the Nazis and the Empire were entirely purposeful. Now, it was probably just to make an easy antagonist that viewers will automatically hate, of course, because they’re Nazis, but it evolved beyond that to serve as a reminder that fascism and tyranny can be anywhere, even in fun Sci-Fi movies.

[detectivereyes]

Nothing’s Ever Built to Last

Summary: When Carlos and TK’s home catches on fire, the trauma lasts longer than just that one night.

Notes: The 2x12 spec - turned - fix-it fic... or what I wish would have happened in the episode(s) based on the hints we were given about it and tk’s addiction (not a relapse fic)

Word count: 4.4k

read on ao3

“TK, wake up. The house is on fire.”

Carlos’ rushed voice reaches TK’s ears first, pulling him out of his peaceful sleep. At first he’s not even sure he heard right. Though the statement came across as urgent and quite alarming, Carlos’ tone sounded firm and eerily calm.

However, when he opens his eyes and inhales through his nose, with the all-too familiar scent of smoke registering in his brain, he knows he did in fact hear Carlos correctly. 

Their house, their home is on fire.

He bolts upright in bed, trying to remain calm and remember all the skills he had picked up on in his career as a first responder. Though he finds that hard to do when it’s his house that’s on fire, and he and Carlos are the ones trapped inside. Not to mention, he has no gear that would be helpful in getting them out of here alive.

“Okay, it’s going to be okay,” he repeats, meeting Carlos with panicked eyes. He’s not sure who he’s trying to reassure more, but he knows it’s not working. “If we can make it to the front door-”

“We can’t,” Carlos quickly cuts him off, shaking his head. “The fire has completely engulfed the downstairs.”

The words settle in TK’s head. If the fire has spread that quickly downstairs, it’s only a matter of time before it travels up. And if the thickening smoke is any indication, they are quickly running out of time. 

He needs to make a decision.

“Okay, I’m going to open a window. Do you think you can make it to the bathroom and wet some towels?”

Carlos nods, heading towards the ensuite bathroom while TK climbs out of bed to head in the other direction towards one of the larger windows in the bedroom. As soon as his socked feet meet the floor, he can feel the heat burning below him and he tries to block out the weight of the situation laying heavy in his chest.

He can’t afford to think about how the home they were just beginning to build together is currently being destroyed by flames. Not when their own lives are still in danger. 

He quickly pads his way to the window, welcoming the sensation of fresh oxygen as he opens it. The smoke in the bedroom is only getting more dense and while the window provides some relief, it isn’t enough. His chest aches as he lurches into a coughing fit. 

The structure creaks below his feet, and he really starts to panic. He knows they are running on borrowed time.

“Are you okay?” he hears Carlos shout through the smoke appearing out of the bathroom with damp towels in hand.

“Yeah, are you?” 

Carlos doesn’t get a chance to answer before the home begins to creek again, this time more intense. And before TK even realizes what is happening, Carlos is gone, leaving only a hole in the floor where he stood just a few seconds ago.

“Carlos!” he shouts, trying to settle the panic in his chest when he doesn’t get a reply. “Carlos!” he tries again, his lungs spasming as he uses all the oxygen to project his voice, hoping to elicit some response from his boyfriend whom he can’t even see.

But he knows better than to try and get close to the hole in the floor. The entire floor is unstable now and one wrong move and could be down there with him. He quickly tries to weigh the pros and cons of that decision, getting close enough to see how badly Carlos is hurt while also risking getting hurt himself in the process.

He tries to take a few deep breaths to calm his racing thoughts but to no avail. He knows he’s only inhaling more smoke and depriving his lungs of what it really needs. His thoughts only become more fuzzy as the room gets hotter. And before he can make any decision, his vision is swallowed by blackness.

TK wakes up to bright lights and the sensation of not being able to breathe properly. He’s aware enough to know that it’s because he is currently intubated, but his brain doesn’t appear to get the message as he still tries to breathe on his own and panicking when he can’t.

His eyes wide and alert, there’s a flurry of activity around him and hushed voices telling him to remain calm. He can’t make out who is there with him, but the familiar voices do provide a sense of reassurance. And before he knows it, the darkness overtakes him again. 

The next time he comes to, he finds it much easier to breathe. The lights don’t seem to be as bright, and with the help of a nasal cannula looped around his nose he doesn’t feel like he’s gasping for oxygen that isn’t there.

As his eyes adjust to the hospital room, he spots his father sitting in the chair next to his bed reading something on his phone. He startles when he glances up and notices TK staring at him but quickly composes himself. “Hey, how do you feel, son?”

“Tired,” he croaks out, voice still raw from the tube that had been taken out not too long ago. In the silence that follows, the memories flood back into his brain of the moments that led to this. Images of flames flickering in their home and dense smoke filling their bedroom, and of - “Where’s Carlos?” he meets Owen’s eye, his heart pounding in his chest as he tries not to assume the worst.

“He’s okay,” Owen is quick to answer and TK finally lets out a sigh of relief. “The firefighters that responded were able to get to him, and to you quite quickly. You’re lucky you’re only dealing with smoke inhalation, not too serious but the doctors will probably want to keep you another night for observation.”

TK absentmindedly nods, though he can’t help but notice his father isn’t going into detail on Carlos’ condition. “And Carlos?” he asks, unable to stand another moment of not knowing how his boyfriend is doing. 

“Hanging in there,” Owen says carefully. “He took quite a hit from the fall. Shattered his right leg and broke his back.”

TK stiffens. “Is he-?”

“There wasn’t any damage to the spinal cord, thankfully,” Owen answers, and TK relaxes at that. 

“Is he awake?”

“Last I heard he was in and out of consciousness. His parents are with him now and have been keeping me updated.”

“Okay, that’s good,” TK nods. “Do they know what caused the fire?”

TK doesn’t miss the way Owen stiffens at the question. He braces himself, not knowing if it’s just because he’s bringing up why they are both in the hospital in the first place or if there’s something more to it. 

“OFI originally had reason to believe it was arson,” Owen says, and TK now realizes why his dad reacted the way he did. Just a few days ago he had listened as Owen recounted what he believed to be a serial arsonist targeting different locations around the city. And at the time TK didn’t think much of it beyond urging his dad that he should be taking it easy during his recovery from the tumor removal.

Now hearing Owen reveal that the fire in their home could have been related to that, his heart begins to beat just a little faster as his brain takes off with thoughts of why this could have happened and if it only did because his dad got involved.

“However, the investigation wrapped up this morning and concluded that that was not the case,” Owen continues, preventing any more negative thoughts from forming in TK’s head. 

“What?” TK asks, unsure if he even heard correctly. “Then what did cause it?”

“Electrical,” Owen says, looking down nervously at his hands. “Probably caused by an appliance being left plugged in in the kitchen.”

Marlon Blendo.

“Oh, dad. I-“

Owen cuts him off with a wave. “It’s okay, TK. I’m just glad you two made it out alive.”

“Yeah, but I know that blender was important to you.”

“You and Carlos are important to me. Marlon Blendo was an appliance,” Owen says with a genuine smile. “An appliance that made very good smoothies, I will say. But an appliance that can be replaced, nonetheless.”

TK returns the smile, not missing how his dad mentioned Carlos is just as important to him. In the past, Owen’s relationships with TK’s boyfriends have never been great. But it didn’t take long at all to see the difference in how he got along with Carlos, his dad essentially seeing him as another son.

“I want to see Carlos,” he says after a few beats of silence.

“If the doctor’s discharge you tomorrow, I’m sure we can work something out.”

“No, I need to see him now.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, TK. You need to be resting” Owen says, trying to lay him down gently but TK does not want to hear it.

“We can ask the nurse to get a wheelchair,” TK looks at him with pleading eyes. “Please, dad.”

Owen looks like he wants to argue more but his face soon softens and he nods. Soon enough, he is wheeled up to Carlos’ room and told he has an hour before a nurse will return to take him back to his own room, citing some reason about his doctors not wanting him to be off oxygen for too long.

Carlos is asleep when he enters the room, unnaturally still with his casted leg propped up on a pillow. TK hates that even with Carlos’ eyes closed, he can tell how much pain the other man is in.

He doesn’t waste much time before reaching for his boyfriend's hand, gently rubbing circles with his thumb on the back of Carlos’ palm. The action is enough to rouse the sleeping man, who blinks at TK a few times before smiling. 

“Hey,” Carlos says sleepily, letting his eyes roam over TK’s body, searching for any visible injuries. “Are you okay?”

“Better than you, pretty sure,” TK attempts to likely joke but even his own words bring an ache to his chest. The weight of the situation starts to settle in, now seeing Carlos laid up in his hospital bed. “Carlos, I’m so sorry,” he starts to say but Carlos cuts him off with a shake of his head.

“I don’t want you to apologize, TK. None of this is your fault. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine,” TK’s voice cracks with desperation. “I was the one who told you to head to the bathroom, and I should have-”

“No,” Carlos cuts him off again. “We both made it out alive, and that’s all that matters.”

TK shakily nods, agreeing with Carlos on the outside but unable to stop the guilt from blooming inside his chest. Carlos is hurt, more than TK is, and as much as Carlos tries to deny it, TK knows it’s his fault.

For the fourth night in a row, TK lies wide awake as Carlos peacefully sleeps beside him. 

At first it had been easy to hide after they were released from the hospital and settled into their temporary home back at his father’s house. With the adrenaline still coursing through his veins he didn’t feel like he could sleep even if he wanted to. But as the days passed, he found it harder to explain the dark circles forming under his eyes and low energy throughout the day.

And still he continues to lay awake, waiting for sleep to take pity on him. 

Part of him is jealous that sleep appears to come easier to Carlos. He knows that the other man is just as affected, if not more than he is. With his broken leg and back injury, it has been hard for Carlos to find comfortable positions after being discharged from the hospital.

But Carlos also had the luxury of being prescribed medication to help manage the pain. And while he was hesitant to accept it at first, TK had encouraged it, saying that he would be fine because Carlos needed it. 

And he would be fine. 

Except there’s still a part of him that envied Carlos for being able to easily mask the pain with one small pill.

Because while Carlos peacefully sleeps, TK is plagued with memories of the fire that took their home not even a week ago. 

Sometimes it plays out exactly how it happened, which only serves the guilt to settle more in his chest. Other times it happens with slight variations. Visions of him being the one to fall through the floor instead, or them both making it out unscathed.

The last one hurts the most. The idea that there could have been a way for both of them to walk out of it without injury. But the pained wimpers coming from beside him serve as an aching reminder of what did happen. 

It hurt TK more than he was willing to admit seeing Carlos in so much pain and knowing it’s his fault. Not that Carlos would ever admit it, brushing it off every time TK would try to bring it up. But TK knows the truth. Even with all of his firefighter training, he wasn’t able to get them out unharmed. Not to mention he was the reason why Carlos fell through the floor.

He should have been the one to go to the bathroom and wet the towels. Or he should have forgotten the towels altogether, considering it probably would have only bought them a few seconds anyway. 

Night after night he gets stuck in this spiral of “what-if’s,” unable to shut off his brain enough to get the rest he so badly needs.

Another louder whimper comes from beside him, breaking him from his thoughts.

“Baby?” he calls softly, not wanting to wake Carlos if he wasn’t already, but also wanting to make sure he was okay if he is awake.

“Sorry,” Carlos whispers back. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

TK doesn’t have to see his face to sense the wince on Carlos’ face, pain clearly evident in his voice. “It’s okay, I was already awake. I’m sorry you’re hurting.”

“We’ve talked about this, babe. You having nothing to apologize for.”

“But I do. It was my fault that you got hurt and maybe if I-“

“TK, stop,” Carlos cuts him off. He tries to say it gently, but TK can sense the annoyance in his voice. 

It’s the same conversation they have had a few times now and it always ended the same way; with TK trying to apologize and Carlos calmly explaining why the apology wasn’t necessary. It was no wonder his patience was running out and TK knew it was only a matter of time before Carlos snapped. 

And by the sound of it, that’s exactly what was happening.

“Can we not do this now? In the middle of the night? I just need the pain to stop and to go back to sleep.”

TK nods, even though he’s well aware Carlos can’t see the motion in the darkness of their bedroom (well, their temporary bedroom at Owen’s house). It’s a good thing, considering that means the other man also can’t see the tears welling in TK’s eyes. “I’ll go get your meds.”

He hears Carlos sigh and takes that an okay, pushing himself out of bed and making his way down the hall to the bathroom.

He rifles through the medicine cabinet before pulling out Carlos’ prescription and shaking two capsules out of the bottle. The bright white pills contrast against his palm and he can’t bring himself to look away.

TK once again finds himself envious of Carlos’ ability to take these pills to begin with; To have the power to soften the pain in two tiny capsules. 

Without a second thought, he slides the pills into his pajama bottoms before shaking out another two replacement pills into his palm. He then fills up a disposable cup of water and turns off the light.

The next hours pass by in a haze, tossing and turning until the pills in his pocket are forgotten. TK realizes he must have fallen asleep at some point indicated by the light filtering through the blinds, casting a soft warm glow into the bedroom.

Not wanting to wake Carlos still sleeping beside him, but also not able to spend another minute laying in bed, he carefully gets up and makes his way through the hall and down the stairs, into the kitchen.

“Good morning,” Owen says, all too cheerfully for the morning hour. 

“Morning,” he replies while grabbing his coffee mug and filling it to the brim.

“How did you sleep?”

TK shrugs. It’s the same dance they do everyday. His father definitely knows him well enough to see how much he’s been struggling since the fire, yet he never pushes enough to get TK to talk.

“Do you want some pancakes? I got fresh blueberries yesterday at the market that I could throw in the batter.”

He considers it, knowing full well that his dad is trying to get him to talk using his favorite breakfast meal. But he also thinks if he tries to eat anything, he’s going to throw up. “I’m good with coffee right now. Maybe I’ll have a bowl of cereal in a bit.”

“TK,” Owen trails off. “Do I need to be worried about you?”

TK glances down, staring at his hands, unable to meet his dad’s eye. In the past when he had been asked that question, the simple no had always been able to roll easily off his tongue, regardless of whether or not it was true. But this morning feels different. He doesn’t feel cornered, but there is a part of him that wants to say yes. With just one word he’d be able to let out all of the emotions he has been bottling up for days, even months going back before the fire.

“Have you gone to any meetings lately?”

That gets TK’s attention. “No,” he says, looking up shyly. “I mean I’ve been a little busy taking care of Carlos and trying to get everything sorted out with insurance and just,” he sighs. They’re weak excuses, he knows. While that stuff is important, he’s also aware that his recovery should come first and he’s been looking for any excuse not to take care of himself, to avoid opening up the bottle of his emotions.

“You should. Why don’t I drive you to one today?” Owen offers.

“No, someone needs to stay with Carlos-”

“And there’s been dozens of people asking what they can do to help you guys out that I’m sure would love to hang out with him this afternoon. If Mateo won’t be around, I can ask Grace or Paul, or anyone from the station if they are available.”

TK nods, knowing there’s no way to get out of this. This is Owen’s polite way of letting him know that he knows TK needs help and if he’s not going to talk him or Carlos, he needs to talk to someone. 

“Good. I’m proud of you. You’ve come a long way in your recovery in the past 18 months,” Owen offers him a smile but the words hit TK like a punch in the gut. 

He quickly shoves his hands in his pockets and freezes when he feels the familiar texture of the forgotten pills shoved hastily in there in a moment of weakness last night. 

Owen studies him carefully. “Are you okay?”

He takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm his racing thoughts before his face can betray that his father really did have a legitimate reason to be concerned. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just going to go see if Carlos is awake.”

Owen nods, appearing to accept TK’s response. TK flashes him a smile before filling up a glass of water to bring up to Carlos and hoping that his father doesn’t notice the way his hands shake as he holds it under the faucet. 

“Come back down when you’re ready to eat. The pancakes will be waiting for you,” Owen calls as TK climbs the stairs.

TK doesn’t answer, moving through the hallway until he reaches their bedroom and softly knocks on the door before pushing it open. He expects to find Carlos still sleeping soundly on the bed, but instead sees him attempting to push himself out of bed, a pained grimace painted on his face.

“What are you doing?” TK rushes over to him, guiding him gently back into the bed so he is sitting back against the headboard. “You’re not supposed to get out of bed without help.”

While Carlos isn’t technically on bedrest, it is harder for him to get around. He was given crutches for his broken leg, but using them puts a lot of stress on his injured back. TK can tell that the lack of mobility is starting to get to him. 

“I was thirsty,” Carlos shrugs, flashing him a sheepish grin. 

TK resists the urge to roll his eyes at that. “Well you can relax now, I brought you water,” he says, handing the glass over to Carlos. “And my dad is making pancakes if you want to try to get out of bed, with help this time.”

“That sounds good.”

“Good,” TK replies and they exchange smiles. Though he can’t help but notice the tension that still looms in the air from their last interaction. It clearly doesn’t go unnoticed by Carlos as well, whose smile soon drops at the shift in mood.

“Listen, TK, I’m sorry for kind of snapping at you last night. I was just tired, and in pain, and I didn’t mean to take it out on you,” Carlos sighs, taking TK’s hands in his. “These past few days haven’t been easy for either of us and you’ve taken such great care of me. I want you to know how much I appreciate it. I love you.”

TK can’t help the tears that well in his eyes at Carlos’ words. His heart threatens to beat out of his chest, both at the tenderness of the moment and in panic of wanting to admit to Carlos what he’s done. He came in the room prepared to come clean, but now feels almost as though he doesn’t deserve the kind words. He doesn’t deserve this happiness that he came so close to throwing all away.

“Babe?” Carlos questions softly.

“I took some of your pills,” TK blurts out, spitting the words out in the air before he can change his mind and take them back. Carlos’ eyes widen in panic and TK quickly shakes his head. “Well, okay I didn’t actually take them. I just,” he sighs, reaching into his pocket and holding out the pills in his palm.

“TK,” Carlos trails off. He doesn’t sound disappointed, but TK can’t help the panic that arises as he tries to figure out how to justify what he did now that Carlos knows.

“It’s just been so hard, you know? I know you don’t want to talk about it, and I get why. I mean, I don’t want to talk about it either. But no matter how many times I’m told it wasn’t my fault, the guilt still doesn’t leave, and it’s suffocating. I’m sorry, I know you’re probably tired of having this conversation but I don’t know what happened last night. I just hit a point where I didn’t know what else to do and I’m sorry I can’t be stronger for you.”

The silence that hangs in the air after TK’s word vomit is deafening. He takes some deep breaths, waiting for Carlos to say something. When more than a few seconds pass, TK can’t help but open his mouth again. “I’m so sorry, Carlos. I wish I could handle this better but I just keep bottling it up. I understand if you are mad, but you should know I’m going to a meeting this afternoon and I think-“

“TK,” Carlos cuts off his rambling this time. “I’m not mad at you. In fact, I think I’ve been bottling a lot of things up too, so that’s something we both need to work on. I’m just trying to figure out why you think I would be and why you think you’re not strong.”

“Because I took your pills,” he says quietly. “I almost relapsed.”

“Almost. But you didn’t. Instead you came to me and told me about it. And if you’re already planning on going to a meeting? That’s great, babe,” Carlos smiles and grabs his hands, squeezing them reassuringly.

“The meeting was my dad’s idea. I haven’t told him.”

“That’s okay. You still agreed to it, and you don’t have to tell him yet if you’re not ready. But whenever you are, I can be there with you if you want. I know he will understand.”

TK gives a small nod.

“Hey,” Carlos grabs his attention, tilting his head up gently. “I am proud of you, you know. And I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” TK gives him a genuine smile.

“Is there anything else I can do that will help you out?”

“Maybe, we could give your pills to my dad to hold onto? Just for a few days,” he says quietly, almost ashamed to admit but knowing it’s for the best.

“I can just get rid of them, I don’t think I need them,” Carlos responds far too quickly.

“Absolutely not. It’s only been a few days, and I can see how much pain you’re still in.”

Carlos nods. “Okay, then we will talk to your dad about it.”

TK smiles, a wave of relief washing over him that they had dealt with this in the best way possible. Maybe things aren't perfect now, and he still has a long way to go before he’ll feel stable in his recovery. But if the soft brown eyes and proud smile of his boyfriend sitting next to him are any indication, he knows he has all the support system he needs to get through it.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

I’m guessing all Vmins were right Sweet night is about the past. I guess it’s why Tae give it for the movie instead of for his mixtape. I’m guessing JM gave him the ok to do so and why he’s been silent about it cause it’s over between them. TK are making it too obvious. jk treating JM like they aren’t friends suddenly. jk in purple/green all the time. v not shutting up about jk suddenly. JM is not handling it well. I guess it’s why v said he likes JM the most (guess as friend) cause he feels bad

Admin 1: “Sure, go and release a song easily identified as being about us and your hope of me giving you a second chance with a hopeful ending seeing as we aren’t together anymore, sounds like a nice idea to me. Go, Taehyungie, do it. Then also let me hold your hand on national TV and show it to the cameras happily, smile sweetly at you while we stand next to the president, talk about our song and memories and how much they mean to me, perform this song that's essentially a love letter to our bond in a live-streamed concert for almost 800k people, and when you tell me you like me the most, I’ll say I like you a lot as well. Because we’re over and not even friends anymore.” Sounds like some sound logic to me, and I mean that in the most sarcastic way possible to humans.

Honestly, either I’ve just been around too long and all these asks are starting to sound the same and impossibly uncreative, or they are just getting more farfetched and bizarre. If you want a proper answer, I told you, bring something to the table that hasn’t been talked to dust yet, or leave it be.

To quote Tae, the man who knows best what he feels: 95z is love.

Until he (and Jimin) changes his mind, this is the answer I have for any and all Xkooker ask, as well as any other ship involving Tae or Jimin.

Also yes, I did see the hate against Jimin that exploded yesterday, we even have an ask about it in our inbox, and honestly these types of questions, anon? Yeah, you're not helping, in fact, you are part of the problem, just saying.

Admin 2: Man, man, man!

We didn't really want to answer these types of questions anymore, but this ask takes the trophy when it comes to delulu/nonsensical questions, so I decided to answer it after all. Because it’s hot and I need a distraction.

Also, this question basically confirms most of our suspicions we’ve had so far. Let me explain.

Folks, who is behind these kinds of stories which are being presented and preached as truth on various sns?

I don't believe this is any single persons invention (in this case, that anon came up with this idea “without help”), if anything it’s the result of delulu, and often times toxic, scenarios and stories created by a group of people intended to further a narrative and actively disrupt the “peace” within ARMY (or at least that’s what it feels like since all these things do is ignite hate and toxicity). Where is the origin of it all? Ship centric YouTube channels.

It is very evident that these "imaginative creators/shippers" behind those videos have no consideration of the consequences and harm their content does because, in my opinion, the more controversial and clickbait-y, the better. You know why? More views means more money, which is the goal of it all. We’ve spoken about this before, I believe, how these videos on “ship evidence” and “ship drama” for Xkookers are the most beloved topics of these videos and thus make up one of the easiest means of generating income, in some cases even something upward of $80k a year depending on the channels CPM, sub and view count.

The average person has to work hard all year round to make this amount of money, if they even have a job that brings in that much. So, it is not surprising that these content creators go very far in their fantasies to support their claims and keep their viewers/costumers engaged and coming back.

I wouldn't be surprised if the creators (or rather the whole lot of them) of both Xkook camps are basically the same people, because their ideas, conclusions and explanations all sound the same and follow the same nonsensical patters. Which is why we’ve already told you many times that the best thing you can do is stay away from this type of content altogether.

So! Let's analyze this ask a little more:

"…Vmins were right Sweet Night is about the past. I guess it’s why Tae give it for the movie instead of for his mixtape."

Ok, let's say Tae wrote "Sweet Night" for Jimin, but in the meantime he has changed his feelings (that's how I understand the question) so he gave the song to the Itaewon Class OST instead of putting it on his mixtape. I wanted to note that Taehyung's mixtape isn't finished yet and we will probably wait many more months for it.

It seems to me that Taehyung really wanted to show his feelings to the world, so he saw an opportunity with the OST, and therefore a quicker release for SN, and took it. The fact is that SN is about the past, but there is also hope for the future, hope for the fulfillment of wishes, which likely did come true judging by how Tae said he wrote SN during tour abroad (so sometimes summer/early autumn 2019 perhaps) and we saw vmin holding hands at the airport on Tae’s birthday in 2019 when they thought no one would see, just three months before SN was released (and likely long schedules for said release since these types of things don’t just happen overnight) and many, many other such things.

“I suspect that JM gave him his consent and why he kept silent about it because it was over between them, TK makes it too obvious. "

And I suspect that Jimin was very touched by Sweet Night and ultimately wrote Friends in which him and Tae sing: “Many promises and memories / and more to come / Someday, when these cheers die down, stay hey / You are my soulmate”

The fact is that BTS didn't say much about SN, but it was the same with many of their other SC releases as well, so it wasn’t unusual, especially since SN came out while they were promoting MOTS7. Also, in my opinion, the content of this song is too personal to be able to describe/discuss the song in detail beyond the bit that was mentioned during Tae’s vlive with Namjoon. During a Japanese interview, the members basically confirmed/pointed out how romantic Tae is and when SN came up, Namjoon “coincidentally” turned around toward Jimin who has a similar facial expression of pressed lips as he did during Let’s BTS.

"JK treats JM as if they suddenly weren't friends"

And here I have caught you, dear anon. I think you're not even looking at the original BH content, but that instead you are basing your conclusions and opinions on manipulative YT ship videos instead because if you would’ve watched the original content like RUN, the recent SOWOOZOO concerts, and interviews, you wouldn’t arrive anywhere near such thoughts and conclusions.

Jimin and JK are still close, also Jimin calls JK his little brother (dongsaeng) and JK describes Jimin (or associates these words with him) as charm and cute. Does there seem to be any kind of conflict between Jimin and Jungkook? Certainly not, no.

„JK always in purple / green. v not shutting up about jk suddenly."

You mean their microphone colors? I wanted to point out how Tae wore a yellow shirt during the concert, which is the same color as the chick emoji ARMY associates with Jimin as well as his mic color. LOL.

As far as I know, when Tae has something to say, he will say it, and if he is praising JKs songs, and especially You Eyes Tell which we know is a song Tae liked a lot, that is a good thing. It simply means Tae appreciates the song JK created, appreciates and values his talents and hard work. If the entire band praises Namjoon and his lyrics/contributions on their songs, does that automatically also mean all six are “not shutting up about him” and therefore must be in love and in a relationship with him, or it’s an indicator of it? If anything, it’s merely an indicator that Tae is an honest person and JK did a good job on those songs. Easy as that.

That's my favorite part of the question: "JM doesn't handle it that well. I think that's why I said he likes JM best (as a friend, I guess) because he feels bad."

Personally, I consider myself a person with a great imagination, but I wouldn't really come up with a scenario like that.

How cruel of a person do you think Tae is? Imagine they aren’t together anymore or close anymore, or whatever else you tried to insinuate anon, and then Tae would go on national TV and do this whole thing of asking for the card in his letter to Jimin to be blurred and then said “Jimin-ah I like you the most”? To do something as hurtful as that you either have to be a sadist or an asshole and I’d like to believe even you, anon, don’t think in such a way about Tae, of all people.

Perhaps that’s something dumb teenagers or kids would do, but not adult men in their mid-twenties who see each other every single day, are part of the same team and have to work with each other. This is real life, not a soap opera. If these types of dramas really would be happening within BTS, they would’ve stopped existing as a band a long time ago because no one would be able to live with such actions and people for a prolonged amount of time. BTS are grown men, best friends, even found family, and not actors on a badly written TV show for our entertainment where they act out increasingly stupid relationship drama in which JK somehow ended up being the toy going from hand to hand like he’s not even an actual person anymore.

In summary, this question was written by a child, teenager, or an emotionally immature person naïve enough to buy into outlandish ship narratives.

Anon, hear what the members had to say during FESTA 2021. Make your own conclusions and stop watching and believing the nonsense on YouTube. As Tae said: Get out of your imagination. It’s not good in there.

[rafael-silva]

found a home in you: a tarlos fic

The fire had been small and easy to extinguish, but as a precaution, Owen had sent TK to do a walk around the house to make sure it was out and everything was secure.

TK carefully inspects the side of the house, keeping an eye out for anything out of the ordinary.

He’s about to move on once he’s satisfied that everything is fine, but stops in his tracks when he hears a low whimper. It’s so small and frightened, he would have missed it if his foot had crunched the fallen leaves littered on the ground as he moved.

Alternatively: The last thing TK expected to hear during his walk around a house after a call, were low whimpers and cries coming from a nearby bush.

for the good things happen bingo: tarlos + adopting a pet

established tk strand/carlos reyes, fluff, team as family, soft carlos reyes, soft tk strand, domestic fic, cuddles, kisses, comfort, this is really 5.3k of pure fluff

5.3k | on ao3

*****

“Strand, report.”

TK presses down on the button to reply, momentarily sending static through the radio. “All good on the south, east and north sides, Cap. Moving to the west side now.”

The fire had been small and easy to extinguish, but as a precaution, Owen had sent TK to do a walk around the house to make sure it was out and everything was secure.

TK carefully inspects the side of the house, keeping an eye out for anything out of the ordinary. He’s about to move on once he’s satisfied that everything is fine, but stops in his tracks when he hears a low whimper. It’s so small and frightened, he would have missed it if his foot had crunched the fallen leaves littered on the ground beneath him.

He hears more whines. Careful of his speed and movements, TK follows the sounds, eventually leading him to a nearby bush. He switches on the flashlight attached to his turnout coat and shines the light into the shrub. He spots little movements, and then his eyes land on a small puppy, visibly shaking, trying to move through the tight space while looking at him with a fearful gaze.

TK’s face immediately softens and his heart grows a little at seeing the puppy.

Before he can move or say anything else, his radio comes to life and the sudden noise spooks the puppy and makes it retreat a little in the small space.

“TK, almost done?”

“Yeah, Cap. I’ll be just a minute,” TK replies.

The puppy is still looking at TK with an alarmed expression.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay,” TK speaks with a gentle tone, kneeling to be closer to the puppy, his movements slow and calculated. “You’re safe now.”

The puppy seems to relax the slightest bit at hearing TK’s voice, knowing it’s directed at it. However, still on edge though, the puppy still looks scared.

TK takes a look around, hoping to find anyone in the vicinity but quickly discovers it’s just him. Making up his mind, he takes off his turnout coat and lays it on the ground next to him, which proves to be the easy part. Sitting on his knees, he carefully reaches into the bush, aiming for the puppy but each time he gets close, the puppy’s cries get louder. Instinctively, TK pulls back and then tries again. After a few times, he manages to delicately wrap his hand around the puppy, pulling it out of the bush through its screaming and fidgeting. TK supposes the screaming could mean one of two things: the puppy has never been held before, so the human touch is foreign to it or the puppy has a negative connection with said human touch. The second option breaks TK’s heart a little.

He then efficiently wraps the puppy in his coat and holds it close to his chest. Although he could still hear some whimpering, the puppy seems to calm down a little at being held this way. It’s a warm Austin day, the sun’s heat bouncing off surfaces in the hot atmosphere, but TK supposes the puppy hasn’t felt the kind of warmth that comes with being gently held before.

“Hey, what’s that?” Paul asks when TK emerges, being the first to notice the little lump in TK’s arms.

Before TK can reply, the puppy’s little head sneaks out through the fabric, slightly intrigued by the new sound that is Paul’s voice.

“No way!” Mateo’s face lights up, his voice filled with excitement at seeing the puppy.

It’s clear the new stimuli and voices scare the puppy a little, because it turns its head towards TK again, looking for reassurance.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he smiles at the puppy, then to the crew: “Found this adorable little girl while doing the walk around.”

Judd’s the first to approach TK and the puppy, a smile spread on his face. “Hey, sweetheart.” He slowly extends his arm and pets her a few times. She’s still shaken but doesn’t cry at Judd’s touch.

“Do you mind for a sec?” TK asks Judd.

“Not at all,” Judd replies.

TK then carefully hands the puppy over to Judd, watching as Judd does the same as he did and holds her close and she snuggles against him. And the sight of seeing a big man like Judd cradling a tiny puppy against his chest is enough to melt any heart.

TK jogs over to Owen. “Can I ask around real quick?” He gestures to the crowd of onlookers that have gathered near the house.

“Sure,” Owen nods.

However, the peace is short lived, and at noticing TK’s absence, the puppy starts whimpering loudly and fidgeting in Judd’s hold. “I think she wants TK,” the Texan says as the rest of the team gather around to watch the puppy.

“Aw, she’s already attached to him,” Marjan says, her voice calm and playful.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Judd says lightly to the puppy. “TK will be back in a second.”

TK joins them a few minutes later. “She’s not anyone’s puppy, no one has seen her before.”

“Well, I guess that means she's coming back with us,” Judd says as he hands her back to TK. “Besides, she’s already attached to you, man.”

“Hey, come here,” TK coos, adjusting her against his chest. Being back in TK’s arms stops the whimpering coming from the puppy.

They hear Owen announce that it’s time to go and they all start piling into the firetruck, TK is the last one to get in, sitting by the window as Owen closes the door and hops into the front. The start of the big, loud engine startles the puppy and she starts shaking again, TK instantly runs his hand gently over her small body, trying to reassure her and calm her down. It works after a few minutes, and it seems like she grows a little braver because she’s climbing out of TK’s coat and taking a look outside the window as the city goes by in a blur.

TK still has a firm hold on her, and he’s looking down at her with a smile.

“Oh, this is just way too cute,” Paul speaks up, followed by him snapping more than a few pictures on his phone.

“Buttercup is at the firehouse today,” Mateo points out.

“It’s gonna be fine,” Marjan replies. “He’s the sweetest boy.”

“He is,” Owen joins the conversation. “But I guess we’ll find out his tendency towards jealously.”

“Yeah,” Paul agrees. “We all know how he is when it comes to his favorite person and how protective he gets.”

All eyes turn to TK at Paul’s words.

TK playfully rolls his eyes and chuckles. “It’s gonna be fine. If anything, I think he’s going to be super protective and loving towards this little girl.”

The truck is parked in the firehouse ten minutes later, and everyone jumps out while TK cautiously steps down.

“Alright, everyone, you know your chores,” Owen instructs. “TK, you take care of this little girl, get some towels, set them up for her and pour her some milk into a bowl and fill another one with water.”

TK nods and makes his way up the stairs, securing his hold on her as he ascends the steps.

He puts her down on the towels until he gets the water and milk for her, but as soon as he walks away, she starts crying and takes small steps in an effort to follow TK into the kitchen.

TK smiles when he notices and leans down to pick her up. He moves around the kitchen to retrieve a couple of bowls and then opens the fridge to take out the milk, using one hand to get everything ready.

Once the milk and water are set near the towels, she manages to take a few licks of both before she’s going back to TK.

“Alright, come here,” TK leans back against the cushion, settling her on his chest. She snuggles against his AFD t-shirt and closes her eyes.

TK keeps running his palm over her body, both to keep her calm and to make sure she’s clean until he takes her to the vet.

The ringing of his phone wakes her up, but doesn’t scare her too much. She’s clearly content in TK’s care.

TK smiles as he reads the caller ID.

“Hey, babe,” TK answers, the smile evident in his voice.

“Hi, baby,” comes Carlos’s reply.

“How’s your day been?”

“Fine,” Carlos replies. “Went on patrol for a few hours and back at the station now. Lunch break. How’s your shift been?”

“Last call was interesting,” TK responds.

“Yeah? How’s the puppy?” Carlos asks, and TK can practically hear the smirk in his voice.

“You heard already?”

“Yeah,” Carlos chuckles. “Not heard as much as saw. Paul sent me a couple of pictures.”

“Ah,” TK mirrors Carlos’s chuckle.

“It may be the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen,” Carlos adds, affection radiating through his voice.  

“She’s so small, Carlos,” TK says, his voice filled with awe. “She was so scared and she was shaking so much. She cried when I have her to Judd for a minute.”

“She feels safe with you. I know the feeling,” Carlos expresses, his tone filled with love.

A blush colors TK’s cheeks as he continues running his hand over the puppy’s short fur.

“How’s she doing?”

“She’s currently asleep,” TK replies. “Hold on.”

TK expertly snaps a selfie, showing him comfortably lying back against the cushions and the puppy propped up on his chest, fast asleep with a peaceful look on her little face.

“Check your messages,” TK tells Carlos once he sends it.

It takes Carlos a few seconds to reply. “My heart is exploding with how cute this is, Ty.”

TK chuckles.

“I have to go back to work,” Carlos says with some sadness. “But I’ll pass by the firehouse after my shift.”

It was one of the days Carlos finishes work before TK, and he’d usually head home right after, making dinner for them and waiting for his boyfriend to come home. But the puppy definitely calls for a slight change in plans.

“Okay, babe. Can’t wait to see you. Be careful, please.”

“I will,” Carlos promises. “Can’t wait to see you too, babe. And be careful, too.”

Once they end their phone call, TK looks up and sees Owen approach him with a small smile on his face. On cue, the puppy wakes up and stretches her tiny legs, letting out a yawn and then settles her eyes on TK.

“Hi, sweetheart,” TK smiles back at her.

“Can I?” Owen asks, gesturing to the puppy.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” TK nods. “But beware, she may not like it, given her track record with everyone. Don’t take it personally, though,” he adds with a chuckle.

The puppy proves TK right, because she lets out a cry as soon as she’s off TK’s chest. Owen raises an eyebrow and gently puts her back down, watching as she stops crying.

“It’s kinda hard to not take it personally,” Owen jokes. “I’m glad she feels safe with you.”

TK nods. “I’m getting attached to her, too. But we need to find out if her family is looking for her.”

“What are you thinking?”

“Carlos and I are off tomorrow, we can take her to the vet and check if she has a microchip. We can take it from there, and see what the options are if she doesn’t have a chip,” TK explains. “And for tonight, I was thinking of taking her back home with me, if Carlos would be okay with that.” TK takes a hold of the puppy, moving her up and steadies her against his collarbone, she snuggles there and pushes her face into TK’s neck, making him giggle as her nose brushes against one of his ticklish spots.

Owen nods. “That sounds like a good plan.” He spots movement from the corner of his eye and turns to look over his shoulder.

Buttercup makes his way into the space and goes straight to TK.

“Hey, buddy,” Owen says, petting Buttercup’s soft fur. “We have someone for you to meet. Let’s see how this goes.”

Buttercup looks between TK and Owen, his eyes questioning and then landing on the puppy.

Buttercup sniffs once and then twice and gets closer to her.

TK feels the puppy’s muscles tensing under his touch as she moves and sits up, looking at the older dog with wide eyes.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” TK reassures the puppy with a soft voice, gently rubbing her back.

Owen slowly takes out his phone, careful of his movements so he doesn’t spook either dog. He opens the camera app and starts recording a video.

Buttercup sniffs a few more times, watching the puppy closely and then looks back up at TK again, his brown eyes speaking a thousand words.

Buttercup licks the side of the puppy’s face, and TK’s face splits into the biggest smile. He can feel her start to relax, too.

“There we go,” TK speaks. “You like her, huh, bud?” He ruffles Buttercup’s fur.

Buttercup’s response is a wagging his tail and giving TK a smile.

“Good boy,” Owen laughs, dropping a kiss to Buttercup’s head.

TK gets to his feet, Buttercup’s eyes trailed on him, and he takes a few steps away from the couch into the open area, Buttercup on his heels. TK puts the puppy down on the floor, and instead of crying this time, she gravitates towards Buttercup.

TK’s face lights up at the bond being forged between the two dogs. He watches as Buttercup walks over to the rug and plops down, the puppy following his steps and circles around a few times before settling down between Buttercup’s parted front legs, snuggling against his fur. Buttercup rubs his head against her little body in response and then lowers his head to the ground.

“He’s definitely her biggest fan now,” TK chuckles.

Owen nods with a smile on his face.

TK takes out his phone and captures a few pictures. He then opens his text thread with Carlos and attaches one of the photos.

TK: [attachment: 1 image]

TK: Puppy and Buttercup introduction is a success.

TK: More than a success, actually. They’re best friends now.

*****

Carlos parks his Camaro on the side of the firehouse, keeping the truck’s path clear. He walks in through the bay doors, dressed in his civvies, and spots Judd coming down the stairs. The firefighter notices him at the same time.

“Hey, Reyes,” Judd smiles, meeting Carlos halfway.

“Hey, Judd,” Carlos replies.

Judd gestures to the stairs behind him. “Your boy is upstairs with the newest addition to the crew.”

Carlos laughs. “An adorable addition.”

Judd nods, “damn right. Already has everyone wrapped around her little paws. Go join them, I’ll be back up in a sec.”

Carlos nods and takes the stairs. He follows the echoes of “aww” and the chuckles that come after until he steps into the living area, where everyone is seated (some of them on the couch, others on arms of said couch) while watching Buttercup and the puppy play together in the center.

It’s such a heartwarming sight, it could uplift anyone in a matter of seconds.

Carlos feels a smile take over his face, chuckling himself when the puppy pushes her body upwards and sets her front legs against Buttercup’s nose in an attempt to get the big dog to play with her. It seems Buttercup understands the size difference between them, because he’s gently nudging her sideways until she jumps back on the floor.

The puppy seems to be satisfied with that because once again, her excitement shows as she jumps on Buttercup again.

Carlos’s chuckle draws attention to him.

“Hey, Carlos,” Marjan says first as everyone turns to face the officer.

“Hey, guys,” Carlos responds, his eyes catching TK’s green ones.

“Hi, babe,” TK gets to his feet and walks around the dogs (who both look at him when he gets up, eyes questioning and follow his movement) and to his boyfriend.

He wraps his arms around Carlos in a tight embrace, Carlos’s own arms holding TK tightly.

“Hi, baby.”

TK brushes a kiss to Carlos’s lips when they pull back. “Rest of your shift went okay?”

“Yeah,” Carlos nods. “All went fine.”

“Good. Come on.” TK takes Carlos’s hand and leads him to the couch.

Satisfied that TK isn’t going anywhere, Buttercup and the puppy continue playing together.

TK snuggles into Carlos’s side, an arm wrapped around his waist while Carlos has his arm wrapped around TK’s shoulder.

“She’s so much cuter in person,” Carlos says with awe. “She’s so small. I want to hold her.”

“She only lets TK carry her,” Marjan warns him. “She cries if anyone else tries to.”

Carlos shares a quick look with TK. TK silently telling him go for it.

Carlos shrugs and gets up, carefully and slowly approaching the puppy.

She watches him with a wary look as he gets closer, but she doesn’t flinch away or hide.

And she proves everyone wrong when she doesn’t cry as Carlos picks her up. He holds her in his arms and right away, she’s cuddling against his chest, content and happy. She closes her eyes when Carlos begins running his hand over her body.

“Oh, now I’m officially jealous,” Paul quips.

That draws a collective chuckle from everyone.

TK gets up, stands next to Carlos and places his hand on Carlos’s arm.

“It’s easy to feel safe with you, too, babe,” TK’s smile widens and there’s so much softness and love in his gaze as he watches Carlos with the puppy.

Carlos turns his head towards TK and plants a kiss to the firefighter’s temple.

The bell goes off moments later, echoing through the firehouse and making the puppy startle and shake against Carlos’s hold.

“Hey, hey, babygirl,” Carlos soothes, “it’s okay. I got you.”

Carlos continues running his hand over her fur as the crew start filing out. TK hesitates for a moment, looking at his team rushing down the steps and getting into their gear.

“I’ll stay,” Carlos says, reading TK’s mind.

“Okay, thank you,” TK nods.

Carlos closes the distance between them and plants a tender kiss against TK’s lips.

“Please be careful.”

“Promise.”

Carlos watches TK leave, catching up with the rest of the team and jumping into the firetruck. Once the truck is out of sight, the officer looks down to see that Buttercup had gotten up and walked over to him.

Making sure the puppy is supported against his chest, Carlos frees a hand and pats Buttercup’s head.

“Come on, buddy,” Carlos says, moving back to sit on the couch.

Buttercup follows and settles by Carlos’s feet.

*****

The call goes smoothly but it takes more time than expected. The team is out for a couple of hours, returning to the house tired and in need of showers all around.

TK watches as everyone makes a beeline towards the showers, but he makes his way to where he left Carlos instead. He wants to see Carlos before showering, and he knows the officer would want to see him too, to make sure he’s okay.

He’s about to call out for Carlos but stops the words short on his tongue when his eyes land on his boyfriend. A smile is immediately breaking on TK’s face, heart swelling with love at the sight. Carlos is lying back on the couch, similar to how TK was in the selfie, with the puppy asleep on his chest, in the officer’s protective hold. His eyes doesn’t miss how Buttercup is also asleep by Carlos’s feet.

TK fishes his phone out and takes more than a few pictures, setting one of them as his phone’s home screen.

He’s about to retreat to the showers when Carlos stirs a little. TK likes to think they sense each other’s presence, and Carlos most definitely agrees.

TK walks over to his boyfriend, dropping a soft kiss to his forehead. “Hey, babe.”

That gets Carlos to fully wake up, blinking his eyes quickly to get rid of the sleep as he looks up at TK.

“Hi, babe,” Carlos clears his throat. “Everything went okay?”

TK nods. “Took a while, but everything and everyone is fine. Got an hour left for shift.”

It’s Carlos’s turn to nod, and looks down at the still-sleeping puppy.

“You two are adorable,” TK chuckles. “I’m gonna hit the shower real quick and I’ll be right back.”

TK returns less than thirty minutes later in a fresh uniform and smelling like Carlos’s body wash. The officer smiles when he notices and lifts an arm for TK, which TK happily sits in front of and leans into Carlos’s side.

The puppy is still asleep, and not wanting to wake her up, TK settles for placing his hand on the side of Carlos’s chest, his hand rising and falling with Carlos’s even breaths.

“So, I was thinking,” TK stars, a speck of nervousness coating his voice, “would you be okay with taking her home until we find out if she has a chip tomorrow at the vet?” He pauses, studying Carlos. “And we can take it from there.”

Carlos gives TK a gentle smile, lighting up his brown irises. “Yeah, of course. Can’t imagine leaving her anywhere else. She feels safe with us.”

TK responds by kissing Carlos’s cheek.

Both their attentions are grabbed when the puppy wakes up and gives the cutest little yawn either of them have ever seen. She does like Carlos, but her eyes still dart around, and Carlos can feel her excitement when they land on TK.

Carlos chuckles.

“Hey, sweetheart, come here,” TK says, reaching out to carefully lift her off Carlos’s chest and holds her close to his own.

“You look good with a puppy,” Carlos’s eyes glitter with affection.

“You look good yourself,” TK replies with the same look in his green ones.

*****

“Well, that was a bust,” TK sighs, pushing the condo door open and walking in, Carlos right behind him.

“Yeah,” Carlos says, closing the door and setting the crate on the floor near the couch.

They were returning from their vet appointment, both to check on the puppy’s general health and to look for a chip as planned. The vet had told them that she was in good shape, a little undernourished, but with a good diet, she’ll be fine. However, no chip was to be found.

TK pushes out another sigh and drops onto the couch, running a hand over his face.

Carlos hovers near, still standing and slips his hands into his front jean pockets. “Maybe it’s best we give her to the local shelter? Maybe they can help find her owner.”

TK stays silent for a few moments before he’s shaking his head. “What if they can't find them? I can’t just hand her over and not know what’s going to happen.”

TK’s eyes are filled to the brim with sadness, a heavy pang echoing inside his chest.

“Yeah,” Carlos speaks a moment later, joining TK on the couch. “Neither can I.”

TK knew that there was a possibility of finding her owner, and he knew that returning her would be difficult. But he also knew that it would be a good thing, that it meant that she has a family out there, that she’s known love and warmth. But with no chip, the odds of those things being a reality aren’t as high. It’s true not everyone immediately chips their dogs, and TK will do everything he can to find her owner if they exist. But another reality sets in, a truer reality, and it breaks TK’s heart a little. A reality which he speaks next.

“She’s lost,” TK whispers, his eyes drifting to the puppy sleeping in the crate.

He’s playing with the strings of his hoodie, the nervous energy surging through his veins evident in his hand movements. Carlos knows TK’s habits when he’s feeling worried or anxious, and it all revolves around his slightly shaking hands.

Carlos reaches out, taking TK’s hands into his own in an attempt to comfort TK and lessen the trembling.

“Hey,” Carlos says, his voice quiet and soft. “She found you, she found us.”

“She’s really attached to us, Carlos,” TK turns to face the larger man with pleading eyes. “Giving her to the shelter will scare her even more.”

Carlos nods. “Okay. We’ll go back and see what the options are.”

*****

They return a couple of hours later after visiting the shelter. Turns out, even if the dog isn’t microshipped, the owner (wherever they may be) still has a legal hold of the dog for a period of time. If the owner does not show up after that time is done, the dog becomes available for adoption. Carlos and TK were given three options:

Give her to the shelter and she’d be put up for adoptions after the legal hold is up.

Give her to the shelter and put their names down for first rights to adopt her if her owner doesn’t show up.

Be a shelter-at-home foster to keep her out of the shelter during the legal hold and they’d be able to adopt her if her owner doesn’t show up after the time is done.

In all three cases, they were encouraged, along with the shelter, to look for her owner.

After sharing one look with Carlos, TK said they’ll take her home.

And here they were, an hour later, watching her sleep in the fluffy bed they bought her, along with some toys (both of them couldn’t resist buying the cute toys they found) scattered around her. She had played a little with a small squeaky ball until she tired herself out.

TK puts his phone down after sending a text to his dad with updates just as Carlos places a steaming mug of tea in front of the firefighter.

TK smiles in appreciation and moves into Carlos’s space once the officer sits next to him. TK is lying on his side, with his back resting against Carlos’s chest and is enveloped in Carlos’s arms. Carlos soothingly runs his thumb over TK’s skin to help relax his boyfriend.

A movie is playing on TV but neither man is paying much attention to it.

TK breaks the silence. “What if no one shows up for her?”

Carlos drops his head a little to kiss the top of TK’s head. He has a feeling TK isn’t finished speaking, so he remains silent.

TK continues a moment later. “Also, what if someone does show up for her? I know we’ve only had her for a couple of days but I kind of can’t imagine not having her now. The attachment is…strong,” he expresses.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” comes Carlos’s voice from above.

“She only let me and you carry her…that’s gotta mean something, a sign. It feels like she chose us,” TK says, looking up at Carlos, so much vulnerability drawn on his face.

“It does,” Carlos agrees. “It’s gonna be hard if someone shows up for her, but that would also be a good thing, Ty. It would mean that she already has a home, maybe even siblings.”

Hearing Carlos voice the same thoughts that had been running through TK’s own mind just days ago helps make him feel a little lighter. Because they are true, it would be a good thing if her owner shows up and a smile flashes across TK’s face at the thought of the puppy having siblings, all of them running around and playing together. It’s a happy thought.

But there’s always the other possibility.

“And if no one shows?” TK’s voice is slow, as he treads lightly.

“Well, like you said, she chose us.”

TK moves at Carlos’s words, sitting up so he can properly face his boyfriend as he asks his next question. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” He can’t help the dash of hope that rings in his voice, a smile desperately tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“We become dog dads,” Carlos confirms with his own smile, leaning in and brushing a kiss to TK’s cheek.

The smile that overtakes TK’s face is blinding, his eyes lighting up and joy surges through his veins. He closes the distance between them again with pressing his lips against Carlos’s, and Carlos chuckles into the kiss before returning it.

And TK knows in his heart that no matter what happens over the next few days, the puppy will be well taken care of.

*****

“Ready?”

TK and Carlos find themselves back the shelter two weeks later. No one had reached out in regards to the puppy, so as soon as the legal hold up was done, they immediately jumped at starting the adoption process. It all went by smoothly, and after an interview and a home inspection, they were officially declared fit to adopt her.

TK couldn’t contain his excitement, and it made Carlos beam at his boyfriend’s eagerness and joy, which added to the officer’s own happiness, too.

“Ready,” TK replies to Carlos.

And then they’re both sign each of their forms in unison.

“Congratulations,” the lady behind the desk smiles at them. “And you little miss,” she turns to the puppy sitting in the crate on the desk. “You have a family of your own now.”

TK feels like jumping with joy, and he does. Carlos chuckles at how TK bounces a little on the heels of his feet and thanks the woman.

“Here,” Carlos says as he reaches into the tote bag sitting at his feet.

TK’s eyes soften when he sees Carlos holding out a small, red collar.

“I thought you should be the one to put it on her,” Carlos expresses, his expression as equally soft.

“Babe,” TK whispers.

Carlos turns to open the crate and gently carries the puppy and holds her against his chest. She’s facing TK with a smile of her own. She knows what just happened.

TK unclips the collar and pulls at it until it fits her neck, then clips is there and smiles at her.

He grabs his phone and opens the camera, pointing it at Carlos and their puppy.

Carlos holds her higher against his chest and looks at TK.

It’s probably TK’s favorite picture of all time.

*****

The ride home after a trip to the pet store is filled with positive energy as soft music blasts through the Camaro’s speakers, TK sitting in the passenger seat with the puppy on his lap. They had agreed on her name.

Once parked in front of the condo, TK carefully gets out of the car, balancing her in his arms as Carlos grabs some of the new things they bought for her, leaving the rest to be retrieved later, including bowls, food and two playpens: one for their home and one for the firehouse.

They had talked to Owen a few days earlier about bringing the puppy to the firehouse on the days they’re both working, and Owen had instantly agreed. He had also said that he’ll be bringing Buttercup by the firehouse more frequently, too, so the two dogs could spend time together.

The 126 group chat had erupted with excitement when TK texted them those details.

Carlos pushes the door open and walks in, lowering everything he’s carrying to the floor and steps to the side to let TK in, closing the door after him.

“Welcome home, Luna,” TK announces with a big smile, placing her on the floor.

She looks up at both men, her little tail wagging from side to side and earns herself chuckles from Carlos and TK as she starts running around the living room.

“She feels more at ease now,” Carlos says.

“Her energy level is definitely showing now,” TK adds with another chuckle.

Carlos moves closer to TK and wraps his arms around him from behind.

“She found a home in you,” Carlos kisses TK’s temple.

TK leans back into Carlos’s hold, covering the officer’s arms with his own hands.

“She found a home in us,” TK rejoices.

[terramous]

fire so hot at their backs; better to hit the ground

not another 2x12 fire spec fic... i would never..... title: lily kershaw - ashes like snow word count: 1.7k AO3

Carlos had always imagined that he would know what to do if he was ever caught in a fire. After all, his boyfriend had been a firefighter for seven years.

Smoke rises.

Fire spreads faster than you think.

Air can get so hot and full of irritants that every breath feels like swallowing a branding iron.

You can be surrounded by sources of light and still not be able to see two feet in front of you.

“Carlos, I need you to breathe!”

It was hard to hear them over the inferno raging all around but he could tell they were desperate.

“Breathe. C’mon, baby. Please.”

He was his father’s son, he could never refuse an order. He took a deep breath that sent his lungs and chest spasming with coughs that forced their way up his throat.

“Good job,” TK said with a watery smile. There were the tell-tale tracks of tears cutting through the dark smears of soot and ash on his cheeks and Carlos could see that half of his shirt was smouldering but he seemed to be paying it no mind.

“I know it’s hard. I know you’re tired. But you gotta keep your eyes open and you gotta keep trying to breathe for me, okay?”

In a flash of motion that blurred in the tears gathering in Carlos’ eyes, TK pulled off his shirt and was pressing the balled-up fabric over Carlos’ nose and mouth who gratefully took a deep breath of the surprisingly clearer air. It smelt like ash, and burning, and sweat, and TK.

“It’s not the best but this should help.”

Carlos didn’t have the energy, nor the ability to think clearly enough to reply. He wanted to say a lot of things: it helps, thank you, I’m sorry, I love you, I’m so tired.

Instead he just tried to focus on breathing because TK seemed to calm down every time he inhaled. The last thing he wanted to do was scare TK but he figured they were both beyond that point now.

Here they were, on the ground as their home and all the memories that they had tied to this location went up in literal flames. TK was shirtless and kneeling in front of Carlos, cradling his face in his hands as he coaxed Carlos through every breath he took.

And it wasn’t like Carlos couldn’t see the burns marring TK’s torso. Red angry wounds wrapping around his ribcage and undoubtedly more that Carlos couldn’t see. But he swore if he stretched out his hand to touch TK’s side his fingers would connect with the familiar curve of TK’s ribs, unguarded by the skin he had spent hours trailing his fingertips, his knuckles, his palms and his lips over.

They were going to die here.

There was no doubt about it. TK was trying to keep Carlos’ eyes on him but he could tell that the fire was getting closer to the both of them, and Carlos was barely holding on to whatever shreds of consciousness he had left, and he could tell that despite how TK was trying to keep a brave face, that he was losing strength too.

At least, after all this time, turmoil and near-death experiences, they weren’t going to be alone in their final moments.

Carlos had always been afraid that he would die alone.

He’d had countless nightmares as a kid that he was trapped alone in a burning car or calling out desperately for his parents, his sisters, anyone, to come help while he held a shaky hand over a deep wound but no one ever came.

It’d only gotten worse after he’d come out. Fearing that he’d lie bleeding in the street and only after he was gone that his parents would accept him. That everything he wanted to tell them would hang unsaid forever. That he wouldn’t get the chance to mend whatever he had broken between them.

And then he’d become a cop. It brought him a little comfort to think that if he died on the job he’d at least have a partner there. He didn’t have to be alone.

He’d long moved past fearing death, it was an inevitability and it did him no good to be afraid of it. It was always the idea of being alone that killed him.

But after all those dreams and nights of stress and fear, he didn’t have to be afraid of anything because TK was right there and he wasn’t going anywhere.

There was probably more he should be thinking about in his final moments. His family, his parents who would have to bury their son. TK’s parents. Their friends who had become family.

Nothing really mattered other than TK leaning down to press their lips together.

It wasn’t intense, or fiery, or passionate, as Carlos had gotten used to. It was just contact and a soft pressure. Carlos could taste TK’s tears as he trailed his tongue along his boyfriend’s lower lip, hoping that if they deepened the kiss he could lose himself in TK.

The distraction would have been nice but it was clear that neither of them had the strength for that.

This wasn’t a moment of lips locked in a physical affirmation that screamed ‘I never want to be without you’ or half-asleep lazy kisses they shared at the start and end of every day.

TK didn’t move, didn’t dare breathe as they lingered there. In any other instance it would have been awkward, but neither of them wanted to draw away.

This was goodbye.

The last thing Carlos felt before he slipped into unconsciousness was TK running his fingers through his hair as they finally separated.

-

TK could tell that Carlos had passed out, his head becoming heavier in TK’s hands.

This was the end.

TK could probably have found it in him somewhere to resent the fact that their story had come to an end so soon, but there would always be so much more of him that was grateful that despite everything he had been lucky enough to even know Carlos Reyes, let alone to be able to love him and be loved by him.

Every moment with Carlos had been the best of TK’s life.

Carefully, he eased Carlos onto the floor, lying him down on his back. He looked almost as if he could be sleeping. There was a sting in TK’s chest that knew that wasn’t the case.

But he could pretend.

He could pretend that he was crawling into bed after a long shift, joining Carlos who was already asleep. He lay down next to Carlos and wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling their bodies together.

Settling his head on Carlos’ chest, TK pressed his ear to his lover’s skin. He let the soft pitter-patter rhythm of Carlos’ heart lull him into darkness.

When they were found, they would look almost peaceful, curled up together like the remains of ancient lovers who could not fathom being apart for even a second in their last moments. If anyone had stopped for a few seconds to study them before pulling them apart, they were sure to find a picture of serenity on TK’s face.

After all, there was nowhere he’d rather be in his death than by Carlos’ side.

The darkness was brief.

Death hurt, and everything was so bright.

Death looked a lot like the lights on the ceiling of an ambulance.

TK’s brain finally managed to grasp the concept that he wasn’t dead as his chest hitched and he choked on the breath he was trying to take. There was a flurry of motion that he couldn’t quite comprehend.

“Carlos,” he forced out between laboured breaths, his voice so scratchy and hoarse that he couldn’t even recognise it anymore.

“Shh,” someone cooed. “Just breathe. You inhaled a lot of smoke.”

That wasn’t Carlos’ voice despite how much TK craved to hear it and it’s absence brought tears to his eyes. He knew it though.

His vision pieced itself together slowly and he could see Tommy hovering over him, pressing an oxygen mask over his face. He was alive but Carlos wasn’t there. They should have left him in that burning room, at least then Carlos wouldn’t be alone.

“Carlos-” he tried again.

“Just focus on breathing,” Tommy instructed. There was something she wasn’t telling him.

“He’s alone,” TK whimpered, reaching out blindly for where Carlos should be. Carlos should be tucked into his side, that’s where he belonged. “He hates being alone.”

As much as Tommy tried to calm him down and keep him on the gurney, TK writhed and fought against her, he ripped the oxygen mask off and kept pushing her hands away until he was falling and the darkness came racing up to meet him once again. They shook hands like old friends.

This time unconsciousness didn’t come with the comforting presence of Carlos next to him.

The lights and noises came back like a tidal wave slamming into him. He bolted upright before anyone could stop him, not even the dizziness that threatened to send him in any direction that meant down.

“Carlos!” he cried out in a blind desperation.

There were hands on him. So many. Too many. None of them the ones he wanted to feel against his skin, the ones he would recognise anywhere.

Where was Carlos? Why were they keeping him away from TK?

Despite his efforts, he could not fight against the hands forcing him back onto the bed.

There was a mess of beeps and other white noise that blurred in TK’s head, all of it fading out in comparison to the words he needed to hear.

“He’s alive, TK. He’s alive.”

He couldn’t do much more than lie there and let hot tears run from his eyes and onto the thin and uncomfortable hospital pillow underneath his head. Everything hurt and TK couldn’t find the strength in him to do anything other than cry in relief.

Carlos was alive.

That’s all he needed for now.

[iboatedhere]

for the prompts- 12 or 34? I love your writing so much!

34. “That’s okay. I bought two.”

—

The front door opens and Ava runs in ahead of Carlos who is weighed down by shopping bags.

Their daughter makes a beeline to the kitchen and TK has a split second to set his glass in the sink so he can sweep her up into his arms.

He gives Carlos a quick kiss before he turns his attention back to Ava who is waving her hand in front of his face.

“Look what Papa got me!”

She’s still flapping her hand wildly, accidentally snaking TK in the face once before he reaches out and gently grabs ahold of her wrist.

Once her hand is still he can see the bright blue Ring Pop on her left hand.

“Wow!” TK says, “papa got you that even though it’s so close to dinner time?”

Ava nods and sticks the Ring Pop into her mouth while

Carlos looks over from where he’s unpacking groceries and raises his hands in a ‘what can you do gesture’ and TK laughs.

They both know that peace talks with four year olds occasionally break down and certain compromises must be met. A Ring Pop in exchange for an incident free shopping trip is a small price to pay.

“What flavor is it,” TK asks and Ava pulls the candy out of her mouth, her teeth, tongue, and lips all stained bright blue.

“Blue!” She says happily and TK laughs.

“That’s my favorite flavor.”

Ava nods. “That’s what Papa said.”

“So can I have a taste?”

Ava frowns and tucks the ring against her chest, sticking to her shirt.

“No, daddy, this is mine.”

She wiggles until TK lets her down and she runs off into the living room.

“We need to work on sharing,” TK says and Carlos nods.

“Agreed. But that’s okay,” he pulls a small package out of one of the bags, “I bought two.”

TK smiles as Carlos unwraps the ring and slides it onto his left hand, right alongside his wedding band.

“Feels like deja vu,” TK says, thinking back to their wedding day and Carlos smiles and leans in for a kiss that’s sweeter than the candy on his hand could ever be.

[morganaspendragonss]

holly's august extravaganza day 26: slowly becoming lovers

for sonia (@pragmaticoptimist34)! i have to confess something - i got so caught up in writing this that i actually forgot to include either of the other two prompts you sent me 🙈 i hope you like it anyway!

second confession - it was supposed to be longer and then it kind of got away from me so i had to draw a line somewhere oops

thanks to @ravens-words, @cosmiicmalex, @halsteadmarchs and liz (sorry, i don't know your tumblr!) for enabling me and to @noxsoulmate for beta'ing!

ao3 | 2.9k | falling in love, fluff, tiny, tiny hint of hurt/comfort, soft tarlos, set between s1 and s2

Things don’t get fixed overnight. They agree to give them a shot, but that doesn’t change the fact that TK is still reeling from his break-up and overdose, nor that Carlos is still hesitant and afraid of pushing too hard at once.

But, slowly, they get to know each other. And, slowly, they start to fall in love.

i. food preferences

“You have to be joking.”

“It tastes like soap, Carlos!”

Carlos groans and drops his head into his hands, shaking his head at this latest revelation from his boyfriend. His boyfriend, who has just made his life—or at least his cooking—a hell of a lot more complicated. “My mamá would have a fit if she could hear you now.”

He almost regrets the words as TK’s eyes alight with interest; he’s been dancing around the topic of his parents for a while now, but it’s not like he can deny what he said. His mom would be having a fit, or possibly attempting to kill TK with a wooden spoon, if she found out that Carlos’s boyfriend was not only a gringo, but one who hates coriander.

“I swear, you won’t even taste it when it’s mixed into the food,” he tries, because coriander is a staple of his cooking, and he can’t even fathom not using it.

But TK just levels him with a firm look. “Yes, I will, Carlos. I’ll always taste it.”

Carlos rolls his eyes at his boyfriend’s theatrics, but sighs, relenting. “Fine. I suppose I can—” He doesn’t get a chance to finish his sentence, as TK throws his arms around him and plants a noisy kiss on his cheek.

“Thanks, babe,” he says, grinning cheekily.

“Yeah, yeah,” Carlos grumbles, but he can’t help but smile.

There’s very little, he’s finding, that he wouldn’t do for TK.

ii. nicknames

It slips out by accident one day.

“TK,” Carlos groans, followed by a gasp as TK moves just right, sending sparks of pleasure down his spine. “TK, Ty—”

TK instantly freezes on top of him and Carlos’s eyes open, concern rising in him as he takes in the pensive look on his boyfriend’s face.

“What’s wrong?”

“I…” TK shakes his head and forces a smile. “It’s nothing. I’m good, I promise.” He ducks down to kiss Carlos again, but the mood is all wrong, and Carlos gently pushes him back, raising an eyebrow. TK holds out a moment longer, then sighs and rolls away, staring up at the ceiling. “It’s stupid.”

Carlos tuts, reaching over to brush a hand through TK’s hair. “Bet you $20 it’s not.”

“Hope you have $20 then, Reyes,” TK says wryly. He looks over at Carlos and sighs again, biting his lip. “It’s just… You called me Ty.”

“Oh.” Carlos’s eyes widen and he props himself up on an elbow. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking; it won’t happen again—”

TK presses a finger against his lips, cutting him off abruptly. He smiles softly, then removes his finger and caresses Carlos’s cheek. “It’s okay,” he says. “More than okay, actually. I… I’ve always hated my name, but, I don’t know, I guess it sounded right? Like, when you said it? I think I’d kill anyone else who tried, but I really liked it coming from you.”

“Are you sure? You’re not just saying that because—”

Carlos is again cut off, this time by TK’s lips on his. TK moves so that he’s straddling Carlos again, hands pressed against his chest. “I’m sure,” he whispers, a grin playing at his mouth. “Now, weren’t we in the middle of something?”

iii. religion

Christmas sneaks up on him that year. Between helping the city recovering from the solar storm, work in general, the pandemic, and building his relationship with TK, Carlos has completely lost track of the months, until it’s a week before the date and he has nothing planned.

Really, it’s never been a big deal for him; he and his family used to attend mass and make an event out of it when he was a kid, but now he’s an adult, he’s often working, and he hasn’t been to church regularly since he was a teenager. But this year is different. This year, he’ll be spending it with TK, their first Christmas together, and he wants to make it special.

But he’s left it too late—nothing he orders online will arrive in time, the shops are becoming a nightmare, and he honestly has no clue where to even start. So Carlos resigns himself to another quiet Christmas, frustration and disappointment welling in him at the thought of telling his boyfriend.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out one night over dinner, the thought having been gnawing at him for days.

TK raises a brow. “For?”

“Christmas,” Carlos sighs, looking down into his stew. “It’s our first one together and I had all these plans, and then I just sort of… I didn’t forget! But things have been so crazy, and—”

He’s cut off when TK lays a hand on his. When Carlos looks up at him, TK seems to be fighting back laughter, which is confusing at best and potentially mildly insulting at worst.

“Babe,” TK says, grinning, “it’s okay. You might not believe me, but I forgot too. Christmas wasn’t really a thing growing up—my mom’s Jewish, so I used to celebrate Hanukkah on the years I stayed with her, and Dad was working more often than not. I don’t care, I promise.”

Carlos blinks. “You’re Jewish?” Surely he would know if… But they’ve never discussed religion before, and Carlos had kind of assumed TK had the same ideals as him about the church. In hindsight that was stupid and presumptuous, and Carlos can’t quite believe he’d do something like that. An apology is on the tip of his tongue, but TK just shrugs, going back to his stew.

“Half,” he says. “I don’t really practice anymore but I still keep the beliefs with me, if that makes sense?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it does.”

TK smiles at him, and Carlos suddenly realises that this holiday season will be special after all, even if they don’t celebrate anything. Because he’s with TK, which is the most special thing in the world.

iv. how they sleep

Carlos has been sleeping alone for a long time. He’s had a couple of short-term boyfriends and the odd hook-up here and there, but he’s never had someone else in his bed regularly—certainly not regularly enough to get used to it.

TK was hesitant at first to stay over, but once he started to be more comfortable, it was almost a given that they’d be sleeping together whenever their shifts allowed.

And it had been an adjustment.

TK had warned him he tended to move around and be clingy in his sleep, but Carlos hadn’t quite understood what that meant, until now. He is, essentially, trapped under TK, his arms pinned to his sides and one leg thrown over his hip. TK’s head is pillowed on Carlos’s shoulder and his breath is fanning in soft puffs over his skin.

The only way he can move is if he wakes TK up, and there’s no way Carlos is going to do that. His boyfriend looks so peaceful, and Carlos is more than happy to be clung onto like a koala to a branch if it keeps that expression on his face.

In fact, he thinks he can get used to this very easily.

v. pda

In private, their days are filled with gentle touches and stolen kisses. Carlos will be cooking breakfast and TK will slip his arms around him, kissing the back of his neck. TK will be doing one chore or another and Carlos will brush a hand over his back or gently nudge him as he walks past.

But in public, it’s a whole other story.

It’s almost reflexive, the way TK reaches for Carlos’s hand as they’re walking down the street. It’s something they do all the time at home, and even with their friends, but this time, Carlos immediately tenses, seemingly automatically pulling his hand away.

“You okay?” he asks, frowning.

Carlos takes a deep breath, then obviously plasters on a smile, retaking TK’s hand—and TK can feel the tension in the gesture. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not.” TK gently lets go of Carlos and smiles reassuringly up at him. “It’s okay if you’re not comfortable with touching in public.”

“I’m sorry, I just—”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. This is all on me; I should have asked.”

“But—”

“But, nothing.” He carefully bumps their soldiers together. “You’re entitled to your boundaries, I’m just sorry for overstepping. Tell me next time, please?”

Carlos hesitates, but nods, a gentle press of their arms a silent acknowledgment of agreement and understanding.

vi. scars

Carlos, TK has noticed, likes to pay extra attention to his bullet scar. Whether it’s pressing a gentle kiss over it when they’re in bed, or brushing it with his fingers when wrapping an arm around him, it happens too often for TK to believe it’s anything but intentional.

He doesn’t understand it at first.

Then he discovers Carlos’s own scars.

“What’s this?” he asks, tracing over the thick raised scarring on Carlos’s side. It stretches along the curve of his waist and round his back, and TK has no idea how he hasn’t noticed it before.

Carlos cranes his neck, letting out a hum when he sees what TK’s looking at. His head flops back down on the pillow and he closes his eyes, absently stroking up and down TK’s sides.

“It was...three years ago, maybe?” he says. “I got stabbed on a call. They told me it was pretty touch-and-go for a while, but they fixed me up and I was back at work in a month.”

His eyes are still closed, body completely relaxed, but TK can’t take his eyes off the scar. He reaches up to his own scar, and he gets it.

Carlos’s eyes crack open. “TK?”

“I’m good,” TK murmurs. He breaks his gaze from Carlos’s abdomen and smiles at him. “We both are.”

And if, after that day, Carlos notices him paying more attention to that scar, he doesn’t say anything.

vii. penguin or panda

“You’re out of your mind!”

In Carlos’s defence, a zoo date had seemed like a good idea. He knows TK loves animals, and he himself grew up around them, so in theory, a trip to Austin Zoo should have been the perfect time to get to know each other better while enjoying the day.

Turns out, TK has some very strong opinions on animals, and is willing to budge for absolutely no-one.

“I can’t believe you think penguins are cuter than pandas! I mean, look at them, Carlos!” He gestures emphatically to the panda enclosure, where one is napping on a log. It’s pretty cute, Carlos has to admit, but…

He shrugs. “But remember when the penguins were all huddling together?”

TK makes a noise of outrage, and Carlos has to laugh, then some more at the wounded pout he gets for it. “Is this really a thing for you?” he asks. “Like, is this going to be the dealbreaker for us?”

TK folds his arms and levels him with a stern look. “That depends,” he says. “Meerkats or koalas?”

And, just because he knows it will rile TK up more, Carlos grins and answers, “Meerkats.”

(They don’t break-up over it, but Carlos isn’t so sure that TK will be forgiving him any time soon.)

viii. special interests

“Say you could go back to a moment in history, but only once,” TK says, out of the blue, breaking the comfortable silence of the front room. Carlos stops carding his fingers through TK’s hair and looks down at him, curious. “Where would you go?”

Carlos opens his mouth, but TK doesn’t give him a second to answer. “Is it cliché if I said I’d go to Stonewall? I mean, I’d really like to see dinosaurs in the flesh, or—oh! I was, like, obsessed with pirates as a kid; I thought they were the coolest things ever, and I pretty much idolised Anne Bonny. But I’m pretty sure I’d die immediately if I went to either of those places, so…”

He trails off, a blush rising on his cheeks. “Sorry, I’m boring you.”

“No!” Carlos rushes to say. “No, you’re not. I love history, I just… What makes you ask?”

“It’s something we got into at the station earlier. Mateo brought it up first, I think?”

Carlos hums, pursing his lips in thought. “I guess…” He sighs and shakes his head. “It’s too hard. There’s so many places I’d want to go and people I’d want to meet.”

“But if you had to pick?” TK pushes, sitting upright and looking at Carlos with interest.

“I really want to meet Eleanor of Aquitaine, but if I could only go to one place…” He hesitates and thinks it over some more, but then his eyes catch on the masks hanging along the stairway, and he’s sure. “Tenochtitlan, but before Cortés arrived. It was a whole society, and I just think it would be so cool to see it up close and to know what it was like first-hand. I mean, I’ve read a lot of books, but we don’t have much from the Mexica people, a lot is from the conquerors, and—”

Carlos stops and huffs a laugh. “Now I’m the one boring you,” he says, but TK shakes his head, eyes bright.

“Tell me more.”

ix. coffee order

TK accepts the coffee without even thinking about it, even taking a sip before he realises he never told Carlos what his order was. He curses himself but resolves to drink it anyway; TK isn’t too much of a coffee snob, and he’s certainly not going to reject anything his boyfriend brings him.

He takes a second sip, and he’s so caught up in making a mental note to tell Carlos next time that it takes a minute for the taste to register. And…

It’s his order.

He looks sharply up at Carlos, who is smiling into his own coffee—therefore dispelling any notion of this being an insanely good guess. “How did you know?” he asks, bewildered.

The tips of Carlos’s ears turn pink, but the smile doesn’t leave his face as he looks up at TK. “Our first real date,” he says. “You mentioned that this was your go-to order.”

And TK can’t do anything but stare, because their first date was weeks ago, and Carlos still remembered, and it’s just…

He thinks—no, he knows—he’s falling in love.

x. fears

“Weirdest fears, go.”

TK has to laugh at the perplexed look Carlos sends him at the question, the straw of his boba hanging out of his mouth. Now that they’ve figured a sort of rhythm out between them, they decided to try the boba place again—there have been no emergencies or disasters so far, so TK is counting it as a win.

“Come on,” he continues. “Last time we were here, you said we barely knew each other—which was true—so now we’re going to fix it.”

Carlos’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. “By telling each other our weirdest fears?”

“Exactly!” TK grins. “I’ll go first if you’re too chicken. Mine is slicing my hands open or cutting some fingers off with ice skates.”

“What?” Carlos breathes, disbelief all over his face. “I’ve never been ice skating but I’m pretty sure your hands aren’t supposed to go anywhere near the blades.”

“I didn’t say it was rational.” TK sips his boba, raising an eyebrow at Carlos. “Your turn.”

Carlos swallows, suddenly very interested in the table. “I, uh. When I was a kid, my Tía Lucy had a snake get into her pipes. She only discovered it when she went to the toilet one morning and it was just...sitting there in the bowl. I was terrified for years that the same would happen to us, and it’s kind of become a reflex to check.”

“Oh my god.” TK can’t help but burst out laughing, even though he feels bad for it as Carlos covers his face with his hands. “I’m sorry, I know it’s a real thing for you, I just…”

But Carlos’s shoulders are shaking too and, bizarrely, TK really does feel closer to him now.

It’s a good feeling.

xi. long-term commitments

Carlos is surprised when TK is the one to bring it up first.

“Do you ever think about the future?” he asks one day, head in Carlos’s lap, staring up at the ceiling.

Carlos pauses the show he’s technically supposed to be watching and quirks an eyebrow at his boyfriend. “Sure,” he says. “What about the future exactly?”

TK hesitates, and his voice comes out a lot quieter when he next speaks. “Like…” He sighs, a small flush rising on his cheeks. “The future. Our future. Us. Maybe...marriage, or…”

He trails off, practically whispering by the end of it. His gaze has shifted from the ceiling to the frozen TV screen and he’s chewing on his bottom lip, body stiff with tension. “Sorry,” he mutters. “Forget about it.”

But Carlos is learning to read TK, and he knows he was looking for reassurance. “I mean, yeah,” he says. “I think about it. Do you?”

TK stares up at him, wonder in his eyes. “After New York, I thought… But yeah. Yeah, I do.”

They share a smile as they lock eyes, and Carlos knows that they’re on the same page here. That, distant though they may be, both of them can hear wedding bells in their future.

[bellakitse]

Point of Comfort

“Babe, please,” Carlos tries patiently. He tugs on TK’s hair until he moves, turning on his back to look up at Carlos as he rests his head on his legs. “Talk to me.”

+

Escaping his parents’ latest drama, TK goes to the one person that brings him peace.

Written for Day One of Tarlos Corazonados Weekend- “Babe, please, sharing is caring.” @tarlos-valentine

Spoilers for the Owen-Gwyneth reveal of 2.04

*Mentions of TK’s canon-based childhood neglect and Owen/Gwyneth not so great parenting skills.*

Carlos Reyes has his feet up and music playing as he reads the latest paperback on his reading list when his front door is unlocked and in walks his boyfriend. He takes him in, his heart skipping a beat the way it always does when he looks at TK.

He’s dressed in his usual comfortable combo of sweats and a light-weight hoodie, and he’s absolutely gorgeous. It’s a constant source of awe for Carlos just how beautiful TK Strand is, even when he’s frowning like he is now.

“Um, hi?” he questions, both because TK had told him earlier that he was going back home for dinner with his parents, probably spending the night there, and because of the sour expression on his face.

TK grunts a hello in his direction, kicking his shoes off before he makes a beeline for him. He throws himself sideways on the couch Carlos is currently occupying, batting his hands out of the way as he wraps his arms around Carlos’ waist, pressing his face into his stomach before letting out a muffled scream.

Carlos raises an eyebrow at the action; he bends a corner of his book to mark the page he’s stopped at before placing it on the side table. “I take it dinner went well,” he says dryly as he runs his hand through TK’s hair, pressing down on that special spot behind his ear that always makes TK gasp.

TK retaliates by biting him through his shirt, and Carlos shakes with silent laughter at the childish action. Only TK can make bratty behavior cute. It’s either that, or that Carlos is so far gone on him that he finds everything he does adorable.

He keeps scratching TK’s scalp, feeling his body start to lose the tension he’s carrying. “Are you gonna tell me what happened?”

TK shakes his head, not bothering to move his face from Carlos’ mid-section.

“Babe, please,” Carlos tries patiently. He tugs on TK’s hair until he moves, turning on his back to look up at Carlos as he rests his head on his legs. “Talk to me. Sharing is caring after all,” he continues jokingly, pleased when TK lets out a reluctant huff of amusement at his words.

“They’re just being so annoying, bickering nonstop over the baby,” he says tiredly, and Carlos feels a wave of sympathy for his boyfriend. The news that Owen and Gwyn were expecting had been a shock to everyone, but no one more than TK. Since the moment they announced it, Carlos has watched TK carefully, seeing time and time again conflicting feelings play across his features.

“The kid isn’t even born yet, and they’re already arguing,” TK continues, the frustration in his voice loud and clear. “Which would be fine if it was just me,” he rolls his eyes. “I’m used to them, but this baby doesn’t need that shit. They’re falling into familiar patterns, and they can’t even see it. I just don’t know how to fix it,” he finishes helplessly.

Carlos stays quiet for a moment, trying to figure out how to address multiple points in TK’s comments. He starts with the last one first. “Well, first of all, it’s not your job to fix it,” he tells him, giving him a serious nod to emphasize his point when TK looks up at him with wide eyes. “It’s just not, baby, I get the impulse, I do. But your parents are adults. It’s up to them to get their shit together for this baby or realize that they don’t work together and figure out how to co-parent apart.”

He frowns as he moves on to the next point that bothers him more than the first. “Second of all, it’s not fine that you are used to them being this way. They shouldn’t be better parents just for this baby that’s coming; they should be better parents for you too,” he says heatedly, realizing for the first time just how angry he is on his boyfriend’s behalf.

He hears a sniffle, it pulls him out of his thoughts, and when he looks down at the man in his lap, he startles to see tears in his pretty green eyes.

“Oh, baby, I’m sorry,” he says anxiously, feeling gutted as the tears spill down TK’s cheeks.

“No, no,” TK says just as fast as he sits up. “Don’t apologize,” he continues with a self-conscious chuckle as he wipes his face. “I’m being ridiculous.”

Carlos frowns again. He takes TK’s hands, intertwining their fingers, tugging on them to get his attention. “You’re not, though,” he says, biting down on his lip before proceeding with caution. “It’s pretty clear that their behavior upsets you, sweetheart.”

Fresh tears spring in TK’s eyes, and Carlos hurts at the sad smile he gives him. “They’re not bad people. They love me.”

“I know that,” he reassures him, meaning it. He’s spent enough time with both TK’s parents to know they are kind and love their son beyond measure. “But they’re not perfect,” he says with a wry smile of his own, remembering a familiar conversation they had about his own parents just weeks ago. “And they don’t seem to notice how they act affects you. How I think it has always affected you?”

TK looks at him for a moment before letting out a sigh. “I hate when they fight,” he whispers, sounding small. It makes Carlos ache. “They can be great, laughing one second and then taking jabs at each other the next. Growing up, it would stress me out, not knowing which way it would go on any given day. I hate that it still makes me feel like that now. I know it’s never going to change. I should have a better handle on it by now.”

Carlos is shaking his head before TK is even done speaking. “Nope, you don’t get to take this responsibility on your shoulders,” he says, still shaking his head when TK opens his mouth. “Nope, nope, nope. You will not be blaming your valid feelings in this house.”

“Carlos,” TK says with a reluctant smile. It slowly grows more genuine when he doesn’t budge on his position. “Defending me even from myself,” he says with a resigned chuckle, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “I love you, you know that, right?”

“I do know,” he answers with a grin of his own. He reaches up, tugging TK towards him. TK comes easily, shifting to place his knees on either side of Carlos’ thighs, settling on his lap. “I love you too,” he tells him softly as he runs his thumb over his cheekbone. TK leans forward, smiling as he presses his lips against his.

Carlos cups his face, holding him in place as he kisses him. Taking his time, he touches his tongue to TK’s bottom lip, slipping inside to taste him when TK parts his lips with a breathy sigh. The kiss is meant to comfort, but as usual, the heat between them quickly ignites, and he feels his stomach clench with want as TK lets out a needy moan and starts to squirm on his lap. He breaks the kiss only when breathing becomes a problem, staring in wonder at how beautiful TK looks like this, skin flushed, his eyes hazy and unfocused, lips red and slick.

He loves this man, and he doesn’t want him farther than he is right now, which is probably why the next words spill out of his mouth. “You should move in with me.”

“What?” TK questions, his expression going from lost in their moment to startled. “Did you just – “

“You should move in,” he repeats. His heart is pounding from nerves, but he realizes just how much he wants this as he speaks again. “You shouldn’t have to deal with your parents’ issues in your own home anymore.”

TK’s face goes tender as the left side of his mouth quirks up in a half-smile. “Carlos, babe, it’s really sweet of you to offer just to save me from my parents’ bickering, but – “

“That’s not why I’m asking,” he rushes to say. “I mean, I do believe that Owen and Gwyneth need to get their shit together for their sake, yours and the baby that’s on the way. I also think that they should do it without dragging you into the middle of it. And I do want you to have a place away from that environment because I don’t think it’s good for you,” he swallows nervously, taking TK’s hands in his once more, bringing them up to his mouth to kiss them.

He looks at TK over them, his lips against his knuckles. “But mostly, I’m asking because I want you here. I want this to be your home. I love that this is the place you seek when you are stressed or frustrated, or scared. I love that this place is a source of peace for you, and I want that to be a permanent thing. I want this place, me, to be your home. I want – “

“Oh my god, shut up,” TK blurts out, kissing him hard before Carlos has a chance to feel hurt by his words. He breaks the kiss just as fast as it starts, bringing their joined hands to his mouth just like Carlos did moments ago, laying a kiss there too. “Yes,” he says with a smile that threatens to take over his whole face. His eyes are shining with tears again, but this time Carlos is relieved to see they’re happy ones. “I want all of that too, so yes.”

“Yes, you’ll move in with me?” he repeats, needing to hear the words in full. His heart all but cartwheels at the indulgent look TK gives him in return.

“Yes,” TK says again, grinning before letting out a happy laugh. “I will move in with you.”

Carlos releases TK’s hands to pull him into a hug, smiling at the peaceful sigh TK lets out as he settles into his hold, all but melting into it, and Carlos promises himself to always be this for TK. He’ll do everything in his power to make sure TK feels safe, loved, and know that he’s home from this moment on.