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bright-eyes-strawberry-lies · 4 years

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Annabeth “triflers need not apply” Chase

In my last post, I said “another Annabeth hot take” as if I’ve ever posted any of my musing about Annabeth’s character (the posts Percy’s Personal Sense Of Evil and Every Time Annabeth Is Mean To Percy In The Riordanverse] do not count) here on the blue hellscape.

Two disclaimers before I write this: the first is that PJO is my jam. I’ve read those books forward and back more than five times this year. HOO...I’ve read as a whole once; read Son of Neptune twice; and recently skipped through House of Hades specifically for the parts about Tartarus. Every series beyond that in the Riordanverse (Kane, Magnus, Apollo) have been woefully neglected by me as in I haven’t even cracked the spines on them.

The second disclaimer is that I don’t like Annabeth, she’s basically the Christian Gray of the Percy Jackson series. I ship Percy with everyone who isn’t Annabeth because I think he deserves to be happy. But some people were calling for meta so here are your hot takes, folks.

Annabeth is only with Percy because he’s the chosen one.

She disdained Percy from day one, thought that he was worth less than the mud on her shoes and made sure that he knew it. This was before she found out that he’s a child of Poseidon so you can miss me with the “well their parents are enemies” bullshit. After Percy got claimed, Annabeth invited herself on his quest because she’s all about obtaining personal glory and he couldn’t say no because he only had two friends at camp (Luke and Grover).

“He wouldn’t tell her the whole thing, but he said Annabeth wasn’t destined to go on a quest yet. She had to until...somebody special came to the camp.” [...] “Annabeth wants to think every new camper who comes through here is the omen she’s been waiting for.” [Luke] (TLT, pg 102)

“I’ve been waiting a long time for a quest, seaweed brain.” [Annabeth] (TLT, pg 147)

She was silent for a few more steps. “It’s just that if you died…aside from the fact that it would really suck for you, it would mean the quest was over. This may be my only chance to see the real world.” [Annabeth] (TLT, pg 169)

Well, that’s not the only reason she’s with Percy.

Chiron made Annabeth swear on the River Styx that she would try to keep Percy from danger. Which comes in handy during the Last Olympian, when she takes Ethan’s dagger for Percy (saving his life) but sucks for her because now her life is tied to his forever. Maybe that’s why she calls Percy crazy literally every time that he has a plan.

“Swear you will do your best to keep Percy from danger,” he insisted. “Swear upon the River Styx.”

“I-I swear it upon the River Styx,” Annabeth said.

Thunder rumbled outside. [SOM, pg 54)

Actually Annabeth is the creepy one.

Luke always refers to Annabeth as such: daughter, little sister, cousin, family. From the moment he saw her, it was a familial love for him. He constantly reminds her that they were a family and that he wants to be a family.

Annabeth, on the other hand, likes to call him “family” but she has a mad crush on Luke for the entire series that has got to be super weird for Luke. It was super weird for me, the reader. This girl can’t even hug Luke without panting like a bitch in heat (yeah, I said it, and I refuse to take it back).

“This is Luke,” Annabeth said, and her voice sounded different somehow. I glanced over and could’ve sworn she was blushing. (TLT, pg 84)

Annabeth blushed, like she always did when Luke was around. (TLT, pg 151)

Luke patted Grover’s head between his horns, then gave a goodbye hug to Annabeth, who looked like she might pass out. After Luke was gone, I told her, “You’re hyperventilating.” (TLT, pg 151)

It isn’t until Luke is literally on his death bed that Annabeth finally agrees that he’s a brother to her.

“Did you...” Luke coughed and his lips glistened red. “Did you love me?”

“You were like a brother to me, Luke,” she said softly. “But I didn’t love you.”

He nodded, as if he’d expected it. (TLO, pg 337/338)

NO SHIT HE EXPECTED IT. LUKE HAS BEEN AIMING FOR THIS FOR FIVE FUCKING YEARS. HIS ENTIRE LIFE IS ALL ABOUT FINDING A FAMILY THAT LOVES HIM (and equal rights for all demigods).

Then there’s the other creepy stuff

Remember that time that she stalked Percy and fans are like “well it’s so romantic!” You’re the same people who thought Edward watching Bella sleep without her knowledge or consent was sexy.

I thought I saw a shadow flicker across the glass – a humanlike shape. (SOM, pg 3)

As I stepped outside, I glanced at the brownstone building across the street. Just for a second I saw a dark shape in the morning sunlight – a human silhouette against the brick wall, a shadow that belonged to no one. Then it rippled and vanished. (SOM, pg 7)

[Percy realizes Annabeth has been stalking him] “Pretty much all morning.” She sheathed her bronze knife. “I’ve been trying to find a good time to talk to you, but you were never alone.” [ … ] “There’s no time to explain!” she snapped, though she looked a little red-faced herself. (SOM, pg 23)

For those of you who are like “well she was waiting for him to be alone!” First of all, bitch it’s called knocking on the door and asking to speak to someone like a normal human being. But if that isn’t good enough for you, HE WAS ALONE RIGHT AFTER HE WALKED OUT OF HIS BUILDING. Talk to him then.

But we all know the real reason she’s creeping outside Percy’s window. She’s a peeping tom. Anyone who has been around teenage boys (like, say, the girl who lived with teenage boys for five years) would know that the morning isn’t really the best time to be creeping outside a dude’s window unless you’re hoping for a show.

All she cares about is glory.

Look, we know she’s a glory hound. Annabeth is in this war for the sweet, sweet recognition. She doesn’t care about the unclaimed demigods, she doesn’t care about all of the minor demigods being shoved in one cabin (here’s more info on that). Annabeth is off in her own little world where she’s the only thing that matters.

Meanwhile, our boy Percy is fighting for his mom. And then he’s fighting for his best friend. He actually looks at Camp Half-Blood and goes “maybe this isn’t really right...” Yes, it takes him forever to get to the point where he’s like “Oh, Luke was right about everything” but he does get there.

And then there’s our sweet baby angel, Luke Castellan, fighting from the get-go for fair treatment. Because Luke has suffered his whole life (since he was literally an infant); because Hal Green died to save Luke; because Luke has spent five years in a cabin full of kids who are hurting and whose pain is entirely preventable; because at fourteen, he thinks of himself (and Thalia) as heroes but Hermes says that he needs to go on a quest to be a great hero, so Luke does and it turns out to be the worst mistake he made in his life (up until Kronos).

Which brings up a point, Luke always thought that they were heroes. For him, just being demigods and fighting monsters made them heroes. He didn’t need to go on a quest to prove himself to anyone. But for Annabeth, that is never enough. She needs to go bigger and bigger and bigger.

Glory and being better than everyone else...

Wow, here we are again talking about Annabeth and Percy’s relationship. I really wish we couldn’t, because I’ve already taken literal days to find every instance of Annabeth being a dick to Percy (in the PJO series) and writing them down, conveniently located here if you’re interested in reading it... But it just keeps coming up.

So, being better than everyone else. Where do I begin with that? How about the times that Annabeth thinks that the children of Demeter, yes Demeter the major goddess of the earth, are weak? Or the children of Aphrodite, you know, like Piper who charmspoke Gaea to sleep or Silena who charged into battle against a drakon are nothing but whisy washy airheads? Or really, anyone who isn’t booksmart like her. Like Percy, for instance.

Annabeth’s nickname for Percy means stupid. Every time she uses it, she’s calling him stupid. You know, when she doesn’t actually use the word stupid or idiot. She’s also very fond of calling Percy’s plans crazy, every time he has a plan, despite the fact that his plans have never failed. Now who’s crazy, Annabeth?

For real, though, she’s doing this because she wants to keep him in his place. Annabeth is shit for Percy’s self esteem. She constantly berates him for every little thing he does. She threatens to (and does) hit him on multiple occasions. Every time Percy says or does anything around Annabeth, he always thinks she’s going to punch me.

GUYS THAT ISN’T CUTE. GUYS REMEMBER HOW PERCY USED TO GET PUNCHED INTO UNCONSCIOUSNESS BY HIS STEPDAD?

Oh, and does everyone remember where Annabeth mocked Percy’s every choice in TLT but in Battle Of The Labyrinth where Annabeth is put in charge of the quest for the first time and she spends most of it freaking out and cracking under the pressure. It sounds like someone isn’t actually as good as she thought was.

I know I said I wasn’t going to talk about this but in Tartarus, Annabeth is scared of Percy. He’s stronger than even she knew. Percy just wakes up from passing out and kills Arachne before Annabeth can even move. That caught her by surprise. Percy manipulates poison in an attempt to kill the goddess of misery, who has just tricked them and is planning on killing them. Annabeth immediately shuts that down. Because Percy isn’t allowed to be that powerful. She also freaks out when Percy jumps blind over a 20ft chasm while holding her because she didn’t know he could do that.

And Percy is so used to not arguing with her (because she’s going to kick his butt, because it just isn’t worth it) that he just accepts it.

Her home life didn’t suck that bad.

Because I was just talking about Tartarus, Percy says that it smells like Gabe in Tartarus and Annabeth....laughs? She thinks he’s joking. She thinks he’s trying to cheer her up. Why would she think that when they’re in literal hell and Gabe abused Percy for years? Because she’s on a different plane of existence than everyone else.

Annabeth’s home life didn’t actually suck in the way that she’s told everyone it did. It sucked that she got attacked by monsters. It sucked that Arachne sent spiders to scare her for three nights.

Her parents don’t suck. Not even Athena. After ten years of hanging around all of these abused, neglected, traumatized people she finally got...what is it called? Oh yeah, some fucking perspective.

Frederick and Mrs. Chase (who doesn’t even have a name) did their best. There’s absolutely nothing unreasonable about Frederick not wanting Annabeth when she floated down from the heavens like the little Grinch she is. The dude had a few conversations with a woman and the next thing he knows, she’s dropping off a baby and won’t even help him raise it? Yeah, no thanks.

Either way, the entire family was getting attacked because of Annabeth’s presence in the house. So Mrs. Chase not letting her kids play with Annabeth? Makes total sense. It’s like quarantining the kid with chicken pox so that the rest don’t get it.

Fighting about how to handle being attacked regularly? Also makes total sense but the fact that Frederick and Mrs. Chase stayed together is like couple goals. They’re the real power couple of the series.

You know what else makes total sense? Thinking that Annabeth had a series of bad dreams about spiders because Mrs. Chase and her husband are mortals with mortal sight and cannot see divine shit.

Is all of this terribly confusing for a child? Yes. Does her family deserve to die or be vilified because she’s too young for logical thought? No.

Plus they kept asking her to come home. And when she finally did, she ran away again shortly after? She does this twice. Frederick literally flew into battle for her. She is so ungrateful for what she has (she’s rich, with a family who loves her. Literally her only problem is monster attacks).

Annabeth wasn’t homeless for that long

Look, Annabeth ran away from home between July 12, 2000 (her 7th birthday) and was at Camp Half-Blood by December 22, 2000 (which would have been Thalia’s 13th birthday). Her first couple of months were spent alone...unless you count Athena helping her fight monsters and guiding her towards Luke and Thalia.

Which directly breaks the Don’t Interfere Rule. You know, the one that Hermes used as an excuse for not helping his nine-year-old son while he was homeless for five years. Yeah. That one.

Luke and Thalia took really good care of her for those few months. Annabeth mentions that the three of them built shelters all over the place, and since Luke doesn’t mention shelters in his diary or any (pre-Annabeth) flashbacks, we can assume that they built those specifically because they adopted a little girl.

The whole “Family, Luke. You promised.” Is bullshit.

Here’s why. First of all, Luke was fourteen, a baby, barely out of puberty when he made that promise to be a family. He’s only ever wanted to be loved his entire life so that was him desperately trying to add another member to what he considered to be his family (Thalia never considered them family). He also never hurts her (see my post about holding the sky for more details).

Annabeth was with Luke and Thalia for a couple of months at maximum. Then Thalia dies. Luke and Annabeth are split up into different cabins so they cannot eat, sleep in the same room, or do activities together except during the off-season. Annabeth does her best to get into Luke’s pants because I don’t know what else to call it when you pant all over the person hugging you.

Luke also asks Annabeth to join him and be a family again for three whole books to which she repeatedly says no. His last attempt at being a family and keeping his promise happens literally before Kronos possesses him (after which, it is far too late to be a family because Luke barely exists anymore).

“He came under a flag of truce. He said he only wanted five minutes to talk. He looked scared, Percy. He told me Kronos was going to use him to take over the world. He said he wanted to run away, like the old days. He wanted me to come with him. [...] I told him no way. He got mad. He said...he said I might as well fight him right there, because it was the last chance I’d get.” [Annabeth] (TLO, pg 201).

Luke asks her to kill him because if he can’t escape Kronos and can’t have his family back, then Luke just doesn’t want to live anymore. Then he dies knowing that Annabeth doesn’t know that familial and platonic love are things so her “you’re my brother but I don’t love you” actually means that Luke dies thinking no one loves him. Probably why Luke immediately turned to Percy with his request for positive change. At least Luke can count on Percy to let him know that his entire life and death weren’t meaningless.

.Fin. Fucking finally.

#percabeth #annabeth chase #percy jackson #luke castellan #pjo #percy jackson series #riordanverse #long post #meta

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harley-style · 4 years

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this is a klance au BUT ITS LONG SO BUCKLE UP

i keep thinking about that hades/persephone klance au but like

since keith is hades and lance is persephone, there is no conceivable way they can make children normally

lance turned into a female a few times and does not particularly like the experience

this is where they discuss hades having demigod children

and lance just wanting that demigod child to be willing and able to handle parts of the underworld properly

they have several, they’re still ashamed of the Hitler debacle

can you see where im going with this

eventually one of the potential ‘carrier’ candidates lead them to an expedition in Italy

no really can you see where im going with this

they meet this lovely lady called maria who is an awesome singer and dancer and ironically enough it is lance (persephone) who likes her first

keith’s just “...oh okay”

so they go talk to this lady because she’s awesome and after some time agrees to have hades/keith’s kids

they like her so much they have a round two

maria’s super chill about two gods asking her to carry their babies for her. like what is she going to do? say no? they’re like the only two men who would even treat her with any amount of respect

and like they fund her secretly which she simultaneously hates and is grateful for

during her pregnancy months lance went full overprotective over her and her first kid and paraded around as her lover at the time while keith distracted zeus, who was shiro (this makes sense i swear)

maria gives birth to a girl.

they all collectively decide to name her bianca.

a few years later when tiny bianca looks really lonely keith just absentmindedly suggests they do it again

maria agrees

this time, she gives birth to a baby boy

they call him nico

DO YOU SEE WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS

okay so shiro finds out and kind of scolds lance and keith about the whole thing so they have to go away for a few years

in those years maria dies sorry maria we love you

keith makes an executive dumbass decision and decides to drop them in the lotus casino

lance, equally a dumbass, lets him

thanatos and the furies have definitely chatted about this and have come to the conclusion that the king and queen of the underworld are going to regret this decision someday

fastforward to the future

same shit happens, only this time hades is just a super grumpy dude who likes being addressed as keith and an uber sassy husband who is as overdramatic as possible

percy actually LIKES these two, to grover and annabeth’s insane confusion

but percy thinks theyre the weird ones because it looks like only hades and persephone give a damn about demigod children

keith stealing zeus’ lightning bolt was supposed to be a fucking prank so he’s very confused as to where this luke castellan’s betrayal is coming from

as an apology he goes to percy’s apartment and pays him like, money for his trouble, and some flowers for his mom

percy is confused by the flowers, but when sally sees them she rolls her eyes and snorts “well its nice to put a face to the weirdo who kept sending me non-romantic flowers every now and then.”

sally tells percy a funny story about a person who kept sending her flowers sending messages like “im done with the world this is bullshit” “you’re doing amazing, woman, keep being you” and “this isn’t romantic at all please don’t get the wrong idea”

turns out that was lance giving keith a dare

so keith and percy are bros,,,, kinda,,,

keith asks percy two years later to fetch his kids, man doesnt thalia get a kick out of a god politely/famililarly telling a kid he needs a favor, do this thing for me and ill sponsor your school

its grabbing bianca and nico from the lotus casino

grover is mega unsure about the two kids of hades but percy’s like no theyre cool

percy’s like “hey you guys are my cousins you can bunk in with me”

annabeth’s like “no they have to stay at hermes’”

“no??? they’re kids of keith- i mean lord hades he said they could bunk at mine so its okay”

poseidon makes a snit but percy basically brushes him off like damn son who hurt you

okay but really zeus being a large dickbag doesnt work here, he’s SHIRO here come ON

its just that hilariously enough he was cursed REALLY long ago by this uber powerful being (not from greek bc its canon to have multiple mythos here yay) cast a curse on him and basically literally a lot of people fall in bed with him with fucking babies as a result of that. keith pissed himself laughing when it happened, adam, hera, just shakes his head and calls shiro an idiot

basically its PJATO but keith as hades, lance as persephone, shiro as zeus and adam as hera and the subsequent consequences of that tiny little detail. hope you enjoyed ;)

#klance #hades #persephone #greek gods au #pjato #pjato au #percy jackson #annabeth chase #grover underwood #nico di angelo #bianca di angelo #maria di angelo #sally jackson #ive thought about this for months okay

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takaraphoenix · 4 years

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percy jackson for the ask game

Thanks for playing! ^^

Top 5 favourite characters: Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo, Clarisse la Rue, Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano, Silena Beauregard

Other characters you like: Rachel Elizabeth Dare, Thalia Grace, Leo Valdez, Charles Beckendorf, Tyson

Least favourite characters: Hera, uuuhm I mean Drew I guess and Nancy?? I don’t know, I’ve gone through so many cycles with PJO, I’ve come around on most characters

Otps: again, let’s make that a Top Five? Nico/Percy, Jason/Percy, Octavian/Percy, Triton/Percy, Will/Pery

Notps: Percy/Annabeth, Leo/Calypso, Grover/Percy, Tyson/Percy, book Luke/Percy

Favourite friendships: Canon? Grover & Percy, Clarisse & Percy, Nico & Reyna

Favourite family: I meeean technically they are ALL family since all of the gods are siblings/cousins! ;D Okay, okay. Paul, Sally, Percy and Tyson! A very obvious pick

Favourite episodes: doesn’t have a TV show adaptation yet? xD

Favourite season/book/movie: The Battle of the Labyrinth

Favourite quotes: not really a quote-kinda-gal

Best musical moment: haven’t gotten to see the musical yet!

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: I mean obviously when black on white it was confirmed that Nico was in love with Percy? Like? You can imagine, yes? :D

When it really disappointed you: …so often *whispers softly, voice breaking* but to sum it up basically from The Mark of Athena through to the end. The above mentioned confession was honestly like the only highlight out of those three books...

Saddest moment: WHEN THEY KILLED OFF BECKENDORF AND THEN KILLED OFF SELINA. I CRIED THE WHOLE FUCKING DAY

Most well done character death: Luke’s death was shit, Ethan’s death was frustrating because it was a cheap cop out of an actual redemption arc I really hate the “chose the wrong side and now immediately dies in a Heroic Sacrifice”-trope (which plays into why Luke’s death was shit), Bianca’s death was ridiculous - the fact that out of ALL of the Huntresses they picked the one who had been a huntress for 0.2 DAYS was just pathetic and literally projectd “this 12 year old child with zero combat training is totally gonna die” all along and it pisses me off so much, while Silena and Beckendorf made me cry they were also frustrating because they were avoidable had people used their brains, Octavian’s death genuinely made me furious because it was played for cheap laughs... I guess Bob and Damansen by default then...?

Favourite guest star: uuuuuuuh I got nothing

Favourite cast member: Leven Rambin as Clarisse la Rue?? Holy shit blessed casting thank you

Character you wish was still alive: ...one? I only get one? *distressed Phoe-noises* Silena? Charles? Ethan? Urgh. How dare you make me pick only one...

One thing you hope really happens: ...I know there are people out there still reading the new books and I wouldn’t wish this for them because they clearly still enjoy it, but good gods do I wish Riordan would just finally stop and give Percy a rest. Like, not even stop writing - he could write new things. but stop dragging Percy Jackson personally into everything, be that visiting the Norse because hey it’s his gf’s cousin, or getting dragged into Apollo’s weird shit, seriously just... move on, please

Most shocking twist: quite truthfully that Ares was the traitorous god in The Lightning Thief and not Hades. I am so used to Hades being painted as The Bad Guy and the Evil Mastermind bullshit that it was genuinely so refreshing that no actually he’s just wronged because he wants his property back too and he’s not actually the bad guy??

When did you start watching/reading?: 2010, I guess, right after I saw the movie for the first time

Best animal/creature: BLACKJACK BLACKJACK BLACKJACK. No wait Mrs. O’Leary is also there! :O Both? Both!

Favourite location: THE UNDERWORLD

Trope you wish they would stop using: Everyone Needs To Be Paired Up! Seriously, obsessive shipping in canon is cringey but if you have a literal ship with seven crewmates and it turns out to be three couples and the seventh is first in a Love Triangle with one of the couples and THEN gets his own girlfriend, that’s... that’s genuinely pathetic, like I would raise a judgemental eyebrow at a fanfiction that ships everyone off this perfectly paired up, but a published actual work that is not the author’s very first publication? That’s embarrassing, man

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: portrayal of Greek gods and myths

Funniest moments: snarky Percy sassing gods :D

Couple you would like to see: This implies a non-canon couple I’d like to see become canon and just honestly, genuinely, none, good gods there is already too much romance as it is, dial it back

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: honestly, the second movie took the two only fancasts that were dear to me and actually cast them. Anthony Head as Chiron and Nathan Fillion as Hermes. That was such perfect casting and were my only casting wishes, so like... I got nothing

Favourite outfit: Clarisse’s movie outfit?? It’s? So? Good??

Favourite item: I mean, Riptide is really practical?

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: A very dear friend of mine gave me the movie poster for the second movie and it is hanging on my ceiling :D But other than that, sadly enough this franchise is not exactly heavy on merch - which is ridiculous to me... the opportunities. Please make this into a cartoon and start producing ALL of the figures and toys. All of them. Seriously, the toy opportunity on this franchise is so huge??

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: uuuuuuh honestly no god really fits me so I don’t know

Most boring plotline: Annabeth’s third book side-quest really bore me

Most laughably bad moment: When they had a prophecy about an “angel’s breath” and Annabeth Chase, daughter of ATHENA, stood right there, not figuring it out - but Piper did. That... That did Annabeth such a freaking disservice, seriously the disrespect from Riordan there. Why did you even make her a daughter of wisdom if you aren’t going to use her to be clever? That actively made me bang my head against the nearest wall because it was such an obvious part of the riddle like seeeriously

Best flashback/flashfoward if any: I loved learning more about Annabeth, Luke and Thalia’s past together

Most layered character: I mean Percy, but that’s also due to getting five books exclusively from his POV

Most one dimensional character: lol like the dozen or so characters who only exist as First Name Only? And yeah, I get it, you can’t flesh them all out more. But Jason Grace had a whole-ass life before he came to CHB and we got name-drops of his closest friends in The Lost Hero, but most of them remained a name only and Jason not only didn’t get to team up with them later on, to try and convince them to join his cause, he also never actively thought about them. I don’t know, but if I’d spend months away from all my friends, I would definitely spend some of my POV thinking about them...

Scariest moment: thiiis was not a scary series

Grossest moment: When Riordan tried to sell domestic violence as cute, aka Annabeth judo-flipping her boyfriend in punishment for getting abducted by a goddess :D”““ what the fuq

Best looking male: if we go by actors, I guess Chris Rodriguez? xD

Best looking female: oooh definitely Clarisse when we go with the movie faces *^*

Who you’re crushing on (if any): mmmh yeah no

Favourite cast moment: I do not know any xD”

Favourite transportation: shadow-travel! It’s so cool

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): them entering the underworld was pretty damn cool??

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: NICO’S AGE. CONSISTENCY. Stop posting things that contradict each other like just stop tweeting canons out if you don’t have a fixed list of what is canon. ALSO SALLY’S MOTHER IS NAMED LAURA, SHE WAS NAMED LAURA FOR YEARS BEFORE YOU FORGOT THAT YOU NAMED THAT CHARACTER LAURA AND NOW SALLY NAMED HER CANON DAUGHTER FUCKING ESTELLE AFTER HER MOTHER’S NEW NAME. Good gods. How do professional authors not have lists to crosscheck about vital information of their own characters, like their birthdates and their parents’ names.

Best promo: I don’t watch promos

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: Honestly before I watched the movie already, when I read on wikipedia that a son of Hades was not just A Good Guy in this bookseries but also a main character :D

IN DEPTH FANDOM QUESTIONS

#Percy Jackson and the Olympians #PJOverse #In-Depth Fandom Ask Game #send me asks #Anonymous

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couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 5 years

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About your YouTuber! Percy hc, do you think he would actually know everyone subscribed to him because of the weird background shenanigans or do you think that he’s think they all just find him funny?

okay, I actually have made some more Executive Decisions since I posted that, so let’s just make it clear that:

Percy spent maybe half a day thinking ‘wow I knew I was valid in thinking my girlfriend and sister deserve to be famous’ just because he genuinely hadn’t registered the monster-sized dog or nico crawling out from the shadows behind him as ‘weird’ at first, but then he started reading the comments and was like…..ah,

Annabeth wanted him to immediately delete the videos but he was just like ‘nah it’s too late now we might as well commit’ and started planning his next video lmao. he still didn’t think it was gonna get like, Big tho

demigods and technology don’t mix this is true but by this time the Hephaestus and Athena AND Vulcan kids were all very disgruntled by this and collabed on making a line of products that are monster proof, halfblood suitable, and Hephaestus approved. Percy is using a camera in this line, and that’s why mortals watching his videos aren’t getting blocked by the mist, because….shut up, I said so lol

so again, his videos are mostly tame except for just a few small ‘wtf’ things happening in the background, but it’s enough to get people circulating his videos like ‘hey what the fuck is going on with this guy’ and he gets more and more followers impatiently waiting for updates

after about five months, and article gets posted on buzzfeed about the videos, listing a few theories like, a) it’s photoshopped and cgi-d, although they claim they sent a few clips to video analysists that can’t find any thing fake, and b) this boy is being terrorized by ghosts and demons and he just hasn’t noticed them on camera for some fucking reason, and c) Maybe Us, The Viewers Are The Crazy Ones and d) He’s In Danger And Sending Coded Messages And We Need To Rally Together To Help Him

it trends and his followers SPIKE so Percy decides he should probably do a Q&A and everyone gets hype

except

it’s Percy

He’s sitting on his bed in an orange shirt, but the writing on it is mostly obscured by a blanket. You can JUST see the tip of a spear on the wall above him. There’s a large cut on the side of his head. He’s got a clear glass of some golden liquid he’s sipping from every now and then. There’s an aquarium on the table next to him, but all the fish in the tank are huddled in the same side, staring at him??? Annabeth is sitting next to him, but she’s not looking into the camera, she’s reading a book, and you can see the cover clearly on screen but no one is able to figure out what language it’s in??? at one point during the video, you hear a horse neighing even though he’s in his fourth floor city apartment and his stepfather comes in to tell him ‘blackjack’s in the kitchen make him leave’

but other than that, everyone tuned into this video excited to get answers….but all the answers Percy gives are like ‘Oh, Estelle is 10 months old! she’s getting so big!’ and ‘Annabeth and I met when we were 12′ and ‘I’m looking at colleges in California but I haven’t committed anywhere yet’ and ‘my favorite subject in school is math’

In the middle of the video he read a question ‘please what is up with that dude that keeps crawling out of your fucking walls p l e ase’ and he responds ‘Oh! That’s my cousin Nico! :)’ and then moves back to the tame boring questions sdkjnckdvm

The very last minute of the video, he reads a question asking if he’s possessed and he’s like ‘No, not anymore’ and Annabeth fucking snorts, the first acknowledgement she’s given the whole q&a. the video immediately just ends there, he doesn’t do a sign off or anything

people FLIP

and the next day he’s just back to posting his usual content. this time features a shot of him walking in a rainstorm, to hood no umbrella, completely fucking dry

youtube drama channels are covering every single video he posts. conspiracy theorists are going fucking wild.

one of these youtube conspiracy channels is 100% run by Leo Valdez. He’s having the time of his goddamn life throwing bullshit out there

Piper McLean 100% has her own channel dedicated to debunking everything Leo says on his channel. They’ve been doing this dance since 9th grade and all of their viewers think they fucking hate each other it’s hilarious to them

so SHE points out that not only are Leo’s theories stupid, but he’s been spotted in Percy’s videos! And he was on fire in one of them! Hello???

Someone then tweets her that SHE’S been spotted in Percy’s videos, a few of them the same ones Leo was in, and she responds to the callout with a Mariah Carey gif and goes silent on twitter for three months

Leo starts insisting that’s Definitely Not Him In Percy’s Videos, Thank You, How Dare You Accuse Me Associating With Not Only The Demonic Forces That Follow Him But Also Piper McLean

Percy tweets out a picture of the 7, featuring Leo and Piper hugging and looking like best friends. Leo responds with a Joanne the Scammer gif and also goes quiet on twitter but keeps making ridiculous conspiracy videos lmao

On screen: ‘Hey, Paul, the internet thinks I’m in league with supernatural forces. What do you think about that?’ *camera slowly zooms in on Paul’s tired face as he looks up from reading a book on the Greek god Poseidon*

everyone realizes one of Percy’s mortal friends from school is also a youtuber so they BOMBARD him and he’s just like ‘Listen Percy just….fucking lives like this. he’s not planning anything. He disappears all the time and comes back covered in burns. one time I went in his apartment without calling first and he met me in the living room with a shield and a sword. Sometimes carriage horses in the city get loose and just follow him around and he holds conversations with them. I think his dad is in the mob. He just lives like this. We just got used to it’ sjkdgkjldsklsd

Percy posts a video called ‘skateboarding down my camps climbing wall!!’ and every comment is ‘WHY IS THERE L A V A?!?!?!?!?’

A video where he sees just How Much he can annoy Chiron and Mr. D before he gets threatened with dolphin-ism. It doesn’t take long, but everyone ignores the guy with glowing eyes yelling about how he’s going to change him into a sea creature in favor of focusing in on the fucking leopard head mounted on the wall that’s moving, roaring and being fed snacks???

Rachel goes into Oracle mode and gives out a prophecy in the middle of a live stream and Percy just sighs in annoyance while all the viewers are flipping out like hello isn’t she one of the richest people in the world???

the viewers start trying to decipher the prophecy like they think it’s all planned and Percy’s just slowly dropping some lemony snickett bullshit on them

his videos are ALWAYS trending and he’s one of the most popular vloggers and it’s so funny because 90% of the videos are literally just ‘taking my sister to the park!’ ‘date night with my girlfriend!’ ‘swim team awards ceremony!’ ‘I forgot to study for my history exam!’ like just. the most fucking generic but people are sucked in lmao

He does monthly q&a’s but they mostly go the same way the original one did

‘what’s with the fucking guy who’s half donkey???’ ‘Grover identifies as a goat, actually, please be respectful of that in the future’

‘who’s that fucking kid that crying on your couch that you ignored the whole video’ ‘that’s actually the Greek god Apollo, he was upset because I wanted back the Led Zeppelin shirt he stole from me’

‘am I crazy or was there a 7 foot tall guy with one eye walking around the kitchen eating peanut butter out of the jar’ ‘that’s my baby brother Tyson :)’

‘your friend said your dad’s in the mob but we’ve never seen your father on this channel where is he???’ ‘he, uh…….lives with the fishes?’ (Annabeth groaned at that one lmao)

‘you really vlogged getting struck by lightning and not going to the fucking hospital, huh’ ‘don’t worry, that was just my cousin, she was mad because I stole her nail polish earlier but she wouldn’t kill me over it’

COULD YOU IMAGINE HIM POSTING A VIDEO WITH THE PARTY PONIES AND TITLING IT ‘I ACCIDENTALLY GOT DRAGGED TO FURRY CON’

but overall: Youtuber Percy™ is, in fact, the only valid thing that exists thanks for coming to my TED Talk

#percy jackson #pjo #hoo #toa #rick riordan #asks #molly mumbles

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fireandseaweed · 6 years

Text

Let’s Got Basted || Jason and Percy

Percy and Jason spend the holidays together, enjoying the well earned time off. Relaxing has never been so enjoyable.

Jason and Percy had been friends for almost ten years now. In that time they’d developed a certain comfort in one another’s presence. Aside from Annabeth and Grover, there were few people that Percy would want to spend his time with as Jason. So the invitation to spend the holidays with Jason, at least in the runup to Thanksgiving, was if nothing else something to look forward to. Now that it had finally begun, Percy had to admit that his excitement almost got the best of him. Standing outside of Jason’s front door, he struggled to stand still as he prepared for the first break that he had had all year. He’d packed all of the essentials of course, beer, food and everything else that they might need. It promised to be a good week. Knocking on his front door, he knocked and stepped through knowing that Jason wouldn’t want him to wait. “I’m here, sorry I’m early,” it was 12:00PM and Jason had told him to come at 1:00PM, “I got bored and the excitement over took me.”

Hearing the sound of a knock at the door Jason rushed out of his bedroom, still toweling shower-wet hair off, to see who it could be. But when a key scraped in the door and it opened of its own volition, he knew exactly who’d shown up. “Percy!” he waved from the hallway, in all his sweatpant clad glory, before wandering back into his bedroom, “I set up the guest bedroom for you, cleared all my papers out of it and everything. Set yourself up and I’ll be right out. And it’s never too early for you to show up at my door.” He finished drying his hair and changed into jeans and a tanktop, flying out of his bedroom once again to tackle his best friend in a giant hug, “It’s Thanksgiving! And my best friend is here to stay for awhile. I literally could not be any happier right now. This is fucking perfect.”

Setting his rucksack down on the sofa, Percy moved over to the fridge and started emptying the contents of the carrier bag into the fridge. He’d brought a few steaks that he was sure they’d eat one evening, some beer, regular soda and a few tubs of ice cream. “I’ve brought all of the essentials,” he said reassuringly, “everything that we could possibly need for our week being shut in together.” He smiled as he adjusted his bag and set it down on the floor before sinking into one of Jason’s comfortable sofas. “Believe me!” he practically screeched, “I am just as over joyed to be a part of this little event as you are, this is going to be a holiday to truly remember.” After everything that they had been forced to put up with this year he thought that they deserved to be able to enjoy a week off. He refused to feel guilty about this.

Jason hopped up on his kitchen island and watched Percy put things away in the fridge like he belonged there, which, they both knew, he did. “All of the essentials,” he said with a laugh, snaking past Percy to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, “beer steak and ice cream. The most American of shopping lists.” As Percy collapsed into a sofa, Jason did the same into an arm chair, “gods a week being shut in together sounds amazing. No work to call me away, school is already on thanksgiving break, it’s going to be amazing. Just you and me and food and games and booze and chilling.” They had earned this. Having been commanders in three wars now, they’d learned too well that relaxing weeks were hard to come by, but Jason was determined to make this a good one. “What do you wanna do first?”

Carefully slotting the final three beers into the fridge, Percy closed the door carefully behind him with a gentle clink. “I know you would’ve probably had all of these things covered, but I wanted to contribute at least something.” He knew that they wouldn’t get to do everything on their own, inevitably something would breach their solitude. “The best thing is that I won’t have people asking me what to do constantly,” Percy replied with a contented smile, “I didn’t mind leading, but it’s gotten to the point where people aren’t using their initiative. I get that we are experienced but some stuff you’ve got to do yourself.” Frowning, he rubbed his forehead and smiled. “I shouldn’t just bitch, things have gotten so much better but still not quite there yet.” He pulled a pillow underneath his back and shrugged. “Do we need to get anything ready yet?” he asked somewhat hopefully, “or am I too early for that one?”

Beaming beatifically at his friend Jason chuckled, “your presence is contribution enough. But thank you. I’m sure some late night beers will be fantastic at some point this week.” He watched Percy make himself comfortable, marveling at how perfectly at home Percy looked. He just fit in the tableau of Jason’s apartment. He belonged. “Well I promise not to ask you what to do. You know me and thanksgiving. I’ve got a whole schedule written out of what to cook and when.” As Percy looked at him with hope glittering in his vibrant eyes jason laughed again, “well… I do need to make some cookies. I told some people I would and so you can steal chocolate while I make those if you want.”

“You know that I have always thought that was a bullshit answer and you’re doing absolutely nothing to convince me otherwise.” Percy beamed despite this all. It was hard not to feel good when there were so many good things that would follow on from this. Raising an eyebrow at the suggestion of stealing chocolate from Jason’s cookie mix, he had to admit that he thought it sounded rather accurate. He would never admit that to his best friend of course. The prospect of admitting that Jason was right was something that he was unwilling to relish. “I will pretend that I have somewhat of a semblance of self control and attempt to restrain myself, at least while you’re looking.” A blatant lie, Percy’s race horsesque metabolism meant that he’d never had to worry about putting weight on, the holidays were the perfect time to flex those muscles.

A broad shrug flexed tan muscles underneath Jason’s tank top, “I don’t have to convince you. I just have to know it’s true… and I do. So… it’s true.” Rolling his eyes he launched himself out of his chair and across his apartment, starting to move through his ingredient list with the speed of a dervish. “First I think will be the ginger molasses ones, then while they’re in the fridge resting we can make the peanut butter ones, then at the end we can start baking pieces for gingerbread cookies and if you’re super extra good I’ll let you play with the icing.” He gave Percy his brightest most honest smile, “Frankly this is way more than needs to be done, but, I’ve got you here to motivate me so I might as well take advantage of it. Feel free to put whatever you want on netflix while we’re working.”

Percy flicked through Netflix before putting something mundane on in the background. If he was totally honest he hadn’t even really considered what it was that he was picking. Turning to Jason, he leaned forwards before slumping into a chair next to the breakfast island. “That all went right over my head,” he admitted as he pulled a bowl of chocolate chips towards him and began nibbling on the small chocolate chunks, “but I am glad that I can be your muse. If you must model your biscuits after my fair child, then I shall pose for you.” He laughed heartily before cramming more chocolate chips into his mouth happily. “How’s school?” he asked sincerely, as swiveled on the chair.

Digging a recipe box out of a cupboard, Jason set to laying out ingredients for the first set of cookies; grabbing them both beers while he did it, “That’s fine. It was more for my benefit than yours anyway. You’re just here to look handsome and keep me company and not have to be in charge of something for once.” Laughing, Jason shook his head and leaned across the counter to pat Percy on the cheek, “I don’t think I could do your handsome face justice in gingerbread, Jackson. But we can certainly try when we get there.” As he set to weighing out individual ingredients and setting them aside, building the foundation of his mise en place, he shrugged, “It’s hard. It sounds strange but it’s hard to focus on just that. I’ve always juggled things, but now I only have school to worry about and it’s a difficult adjustment. Might get a short story published in the school’s journal though. My professor really liked it.” He licked an errant drop of vanilla off his finger and intoned solemnly from memory, “In the beginning there was naught but the Eternal Void and the Boundless Melody, stretching to both the past and the present and the future and the dark places beyond all three…” He huffed a laugh, “You know… the usual fiction nonsense.”

Though Percy knew that his best friend was joking to some degree, it was certainly a refreshing change to not have someone hanging on his every word. He didn’t want to have to constantly be in charge and with Jason he wasn’t. Jason was one of the few people able to take charge of almost any situation. It was certainly a nice change. “Well, I am sure that is something I can manage.” He smirked with a mouthful of chocolate and shrugged. “If you can’t do it justice then why bother, frankly mediocrity bores me.” He laughed at his dramatic outburst. “Change isn’t always a bad thing,” Percy pointed out as he popped the cap off of a beer and slugged several mouthfuls down, “you’ll take a little bit of time to get adjusted sure, but you’ll get to live a more normal life than before. That’s surely got to be a good thing.” He smiled at Jason, “How can something be both when there’s three things in it?” he asked with a bright smirk.

“I’m sure you can as well. I have infinite faith in you. More so than anyone else around.” Jason started to carefully mix dry ingredients, swirling flour with fragrant ground ginger, cinnamon, and cloves, watching as the pale mixture turned ever darker by degrees. “Change isn’t a bad thing. This just takes more adjustment than I thought it would. Mundanity is… different. I understand why so few of us try to live normal mortal lives. Once you’ve gotten used to the frenetic pace of Legion life it can be…. Boring.” He cracked a couple of eggs and started scrambling them together, pausing only to level an accusatory finger in Percy’s direction, “Creative fucking liberties that’s how. Consider it a treatise on the duality of time or some shit. Don’t give me fuckin’ sass about it your mom approved it all.” He resumed mixing the eggs together, adding heavy cream before carefully mixing them in with the flour mixture, “What about you? Outside the Reconstruction… how are you?”

“I’m not sure that you’re placing your faith in the right person my friend, I know that it doesn’t seem like it considering how close to perfection I am, but I am actually fallible, believe it or not.” Percy had to admit that he loved being around cooking, the smell of the various ingredients. Whether they were spices, starches, sugars or something else entirely different always enchanted him and threw him back into a happier and simpler time with him and his mother. Before she’d met Gabe. Before he’d been kicked out of a hundred or so schools and fought Titans and Gods. “Mundanity sounds, perfect.” He couldn’t help but be honest. “I’m sure that me of all people couldn’t do it for very long, but I feel like I’m yearning to be bored. It has been such a long time since I was and now I wish for it. Though I’m sure that I’d hate it all the same.” He raised an eyebrow and laughed along with Jason, wondering how he actually was. “The war really took it’s toll on me,” he replied eventually, “when we hammered out the cease fire, I slept for almost 24 hours straight. But that was the last good night of sleep that I got and it was months ago. Since then I’ve been kept up by reoccuring nightmares, either old ones or new ways of examining the horrors we went through…” he fell silent, staring at the perspiration on the side of his drink.

“Faith has absolutely nothing to do with fallibility, old friend.” Jason replied airily, snagging the bowl of chocolate chips from Percy’s fingers and sprinkling them liberally into the dough mixture in front of him, “And everything to do with purity of character. In that regard, you are beyond reproach.” He listened with an ever sinking heart to Percy’s story, worry gathering in the furrows of his brow with each syllable, until Percy trailed off into silence, looking at the bottle in front of him. “Let me tell you a story,” Jason murmured, wiping his hands on the towel flung over his shoulder and leaning forward to wrap his hands around Percy’s; the uncharacteristic intimacy sheltered by the walls of his apartment, “Once upon a time there were two princes, born of war, with the gods in their bones and the wither of mortality in their blood.” The tv talked aimlessly in the background, weaving between the susurrations of Jason’s story, “In the way of all heroes they had been given much, but had much taken from them, as the scars on their bodies told a story so too did the deep-etched scars on their souls.” He looked down at their hands, hair falling in front of his face, “The Prince of the Sky grew weak and wounded, and wondered in his darkest hours if the burden of the royal blood would be too much for him to bear, and in his weakness sought out his brother-beloved, the Prince of the Sea, for counsel. But what came to light was that neither Sky nor Sea could fathom a way to escape the horrors of the war eternal they’d been born into.” He paused for a long moment, trying to decide how best to phrase what he was trying to comunicate, “But in the end perhaps it was not an exit that the Princes required, but simple assurances that the war would never overshadow them entirely. That dawn would come again, if only for a brief moment, and they could breathe unfettered by cares and commands.” An uncharacteristic blush skated across his cheeks as he withdrew his hands and resumed mixing, “Long story short…. Sleep will come again, and sleep free from nightmares. I know it, because you’re strong, and because I’ll be there every step of the way to make sure of it. Whatever happens you’ve always got me for whatever you need.”

“Hey I was eating those,” Percy complained as the chocolate chips were tugged from his grip and used for their intended purpose. Pouting gently, Percy fell silent as Jason took his hands in his own. Percy was not opposed to physical platonic intimacy. Yet there was an intensity to Jason that he had never previously experienced. Whether this was due to neglect on his part was somewhat unclear. However he could see that Jason truly and deeply cared for how Percy was struggling. “Thanks, that was a great improvised story by the way,” he smiled slightly before sighing, “I know that things will eventually get better and my therapist has always told me that recovery was a long and lonely road. Things get better everyday but I am sure I don’t need to tell you how frustrating it is that my problems can’t all be fixed with the blade of my sword.”

“You were eating them and I needed them.” Jason kept his tone breezy to alleviate the somber attitude from his story, “You can have them back when I’m done with them.” He wrapped the dough in cling film and tucked it into his fridge, returning to the counter to start weighing out ingredients for the next project, “In all honesty… it’s not improvised. The Princes of Sea and Sky are in a project I started that your mom won’t let me give up. She says it’s cathartic.” He started to knead bread dough, arms working the lump on the counter as he kept listening to Percy talk, “Yeah… it is. But it’s not one you have to travel alone. I’m here for whatever you need.” His laugh broke through the room as he paused his kneading and took a swig of his beer, “Believe me I know that feeling. If I could just lightning bolt everything to smithereens I’d be way happier.”

“Yes well it seems obvious that you need a bowl for yourself that isn’t my bowl of chocolate chips,” Percy replied with a chuckle, “I can’t help it if you have to attempt to use all my food.” As Jason kept working, Percy busied himself with observing. Jason was so at ease and so careful with his cooking that Percy found it almost relaxing to watch. It was certainly cathartic to say the least. “Of course my own mother was involved. This had the whiff of her all over it, she appears to be one of the few people left on earth that believes in the power of fables.” He nodded and looked at Jason. “I know, you’re here for me and so is Piper and Annabeth and Connor and everyone else. The thing is, what can you really do? We know this isn’t something that can be beaten back with a sword or even a lightning bolt. Unfortunately I don’t think there’s a quick fix for this.”

“My chocolate chips, sir. Mine. You’re the pilfering party here.” As Jason felt the dough start to come together under his hands he weighed it out carefully into eight equal balls, starting the complicated process of braiding them all together. “You can just assume if it involves my writing it’s got your mother involved. She’s second only to you in terms of people who are super vocal in their support of me.” He bit his lip in concentration as he continued to braid the well spiced dough, listening to Percy talk, “I know I know I know. We can’t really do anything, which is the hard part. Because I want to. But you’re right. There’s nothing I can do. So I’ll just keep letting you drink beer and steal my chocolate chips and hope we come out alright on the other side of this all.”

“What’s yours is mine,” Percy joked, reaching into the bowl of chocolate chips and using his long fingers to scoop up another handful, “and I intend to share the bounty amongst us like equals. I tell you this, we shall share. I shall only tax you a requisite sixty percent, for I am a kind and benevolent lord.” He smirked gently and raised an eyebrow gently. “You two spend far too much time together for me to be comfortable about it,” he said with a complete lie. He loved how close they were. It was refreshing to see the antithesis of what the usual friend-friend’s parent dynamic was. “Let’s just pretend that we live in a world that we’re all happy, that there are no monsters what so ever and we even have semi-normal lives which is a joke compared to the previous world we actually live in.”

Jason stopped braiding his loaf of bread long enough to slap at Percy’s hand “and you wonder why I buy so much extra… my lord.” He kept the mockery thick in his voice but it was interwoven with affection. “You should be worried. Sally showed me where all your baby albums are kept. Ive seen allllllllll the embarrassing pictures of you.” He finished the braid as Percy talked, setting it carefully on a tray to rise a second time, the smell of it already permeating his apartment. “I don’t think we can pretend anymore, P.” He smiled hollowly and tapped at the gnarled flesh where his eye had once been, “too many permanent reminders. And not just the physical ones.” Propping his chin in his hand he smiled, “but the reconstruction continues and life marches on. What more can we do but march with it.”

“I can’t help but eat food when you put it in front of me,” Percy rarely felt this at ease. But there was something about being in the presence of Jason that set him in a more comfortable mood. They’d been through so many things together and seperately. Their upbringing was so similar, yet so different. The heritage they shared, the responsibility of their birth. “Puh-lease,” Percy said emphasizing the p, “there is not a single photo that has ever been taken of me where I haven’t looked hot shit, therefore there cannot be an embarrassing photo of me out there. Even my baby photos.” Percy watched fascinated at Jason’s skill. “We can make things better, that is the whole point of this, we didn’t fight for nothing. We fought for a change. Now we’ve got the chance to. I don’t doubt for a second that the two senators who weren’t mentioned in the document, Arcadi and Karavadra, they were definitely involved in some way. I don’t trust the amount of power that the Karavadras still have in the Legion too. They led the war against us and they’re sitting relatively pretty, they’ve not suffered a single loss yet.”

“Having a dish of supplies on the counter does not count as leaving it in front of you, Perseus.” Jason turned his oven on to preheat and took the chilled cookie dough out of the fridge. “Oh yeah? You think? Cuz I’ve seen some of your baby outfits. It’s good to know Sally loved neon in the 90s as much as everyone else did.” He started to roll the cookie dough into small balls, dusting them with sugar before placing them on a baking sheet. “Senator Karavadra has always wielded too much power.” Jason’s voice turned bitter as he kept working, “of course he would have redundancies in place to ensure nothing was ever traced back to him if he indeed was involved.” He looked up at Percy as he slid the sheet into the oven, “we joked about it before. But a full dissolution of the Senate isn’t a terrible idea. Start completely anew. No former Senator may have a family member on the new Senate. And we have to split it equally between Greeks and Romans.” He moved onto the next baking task, never content to be still for too long. “Rome could use Senator Jackson. Rome could use Emperor Percy to be honest but that won’t ever happen.”

“I’m basically a dog, you cannot leave food unattended in front of me. Isn’t this something that my mother covered with you?” Percy asked teasingly with a bright smirk dancing across his face before flickering away as he sipped at his bottle of beer. “Please, I look hot as shit in neon. I don’t care for non-neon baby grows.” Nodding gently, Percy sighed. “I believe that we need to change the complete senatorial system and the entire political system in New Rome.” He paused and scratched at his beard. “Maybe we get rid of the senate entirely. It didn’t work the first time, why would it work the second time? We could come up with a brand new system where everyone’s voices are heard, where all the needs are addressed.” He considered what Jason was saying and sighed. “I don’t know if I am the right person to lead this city, and even if I were, is that what I want? I know that was never part of the plan.” SIghing he sipped at his beer and watched the bubbles trickle to the surface of his larger. “I don’t think the Romans would ever accept me. I’ve not exactly been their best friend.”

“Honestly? It absolutely is.” In fact, during one of his frequent visits to see the Jackson family, Sally had indeed gone over a list of concerns and such, which is how Jason had known some things Percy liked to eat without being told. “The problem is we’re all stuck in the past. Our blood is old and so we all feel like we have to stick to the old ways.” The cookies started to fill the apartment with another layer of holiday scent. “The Senate worked for the Old Rome and so it must work for the new one. But that’s not necessarily true, is it.” Jason barked out a laugh as he dragged a mixer out from under the counter “I think a lot of the old romans are well and truly done with both of us. When I left with the Exodus a lot of them saw that as a massive betrayal but honestly. I don’t care.” He polished off his beer and reached for a bottle of whisky sitting on the side table, pouring himself a modest amount before adding soda water. “No clear way forward and traps everywhere. It’s just like the good old days.”

“I’m glad that she ensured that you are properly prepared for eventually becoming my primary care giver.” Percy hadn’t dated anyone in several months, hell it was probably close to a year now. “I don’t know how much longer we can blame our genetic make up for the situations that we find ourselves in. At what point do we say that enough is enough? When do we take a stand and say no more?” He sighed sadly and ran a hand over his jawline, scratching gently at the hairs of his beard, tracing the outline of the bone. “Well it obviously is not true,” Percy agreed, “otherwise we wouldn’t have found ourselves in the situation that we are in. The fact that a handful of families have the majority of the wealth and power within New Rome is pretty terrifying.” Raising an eyebrow, Percy smiled warmly at his friend. He would always be grateful for everything that Jason, a son of Jupiter and a Roman, had decided to sacrifice for his friends, over his people. “You know I can never truly thank you for everything that you did for us.” Percy followed Jason’s example, copying his drink choice and drinking a chunk of it straight away. “Well, all we need is for Leo and Grover and your sister to come back and we’d have most of the old crew.”

“Somebody has to take care of you and Gods know it isn’t going to be you. So I guess I’ll keep feeding you chocolate chips and making sure you wear your coat in the winter.” Jason shook his head and left off his baking, walking over to lean next to Percy against the island. “My worry is we have been taking stands. Over and over and over and how long before people just start tuning us out. Oh it’s just Jason and Percy raising a fuss again just ignore them.” He waved Percy’s thanks away, “the deep and abiding love I have for you and my Greek friends left me little choice. It was the right thing to do and even with all it cost I would do it again and again and again. I could never abandon you, Percy. Not then, not now, not ever.” He raised his brow at Percy’s quick chug of his drink, “Oh is it going to be that kind of night? I can get behind that.” He thought of his sister, off doing whatever immortal Huntresses do, “it would be nice to see them all again.”

“I do a pretty good job of looking out for myself,” Percy replied with a chuckle, “I just don’t live up to your high standards of health and care. Sorry.” Percy frowned gently and considered Jason’s point. “I don’t think that means that we have to stop making a stand, I think that all that it means is that we have to make an even bigger fuss about things otherwise no one is ever going to listen to us. I know that you don’t intend to stop fighting for what is right and neither do I.” He shrugged gently and smiled at Jason. “All the same, what you did for us and what you gave up for us was more than we could’ve asked for and I am so thankful that we have you about to help us.” He smiled gently and shrugged. “It would be really nice to see them all again, especially Grover.”

“You do a moderate at best job of looking out for yourself.” Jason stuck his tongue out at his best friend and shook his head, “We need to get you a girlfriend just so I can split the duties of caring for you with someone else.” His smile faltered for a moment, “No. It doesn’t. It just means it’s more of an uphill battle every time we do it. Which is exhausting.” An eye roll preceded a hand flapping and a sigh, “Hush. What I did for you and gave up for you I would do a hundred times over if it meant I could keep you all safe. And that’s the end of that discussion.” Jason topped off their glasses, “Yeah. It would. It’s always nice to have the whole family together. Wish they could spend thanksgiving with us, but, I guess we’ll just have to make it perfect just us.”

“Moderate my ass, exemplary. Look at me. I’m in perfect shape, my hair is healthy and clean, I have a full face of hair.” Percy smiled happily, genuinely enjoying himself more than he had in a good long while. “Believe me Jace, if there was anyone out there that I was interested in, I’d much rather be with them than stuck here with you.” He joked of course. They both knew that there was nowhere in the world that Percy would rather be at this exact moment. “Either way, I’m sure when they realised that it was a full time job, they would quickly give up on it.” He considered continuing their conversation about his gratitude to Jason, but decided to respect his friends wishes. At least for now. “Speaking of, who are you planning on inviting over?”

Jason cast an appraising eye over Percy, “Well… you do have the body of a god… well demigod at least, and that beard is a solid 8.5.” He reached out and scratched Percy’s beard before walking back to his kitchen, “Oh I know… but that sounds like the kind of talk that means you don’t want one of my famous molasses chocolate ginger cookies fresh out of the oven.” He pulled the tray out and set it on a rack on the other side of the kitchen, flipping Percy off after he pulled his oven mitts off, “Their loss, then. They’d be missing out on one of the best dudes in the world. If they couldn’t see that then they don’t deserve you. Any girl would be lucky to have you.” Jason shrugged, putting the bread he’d neatly braided into the oven after washing it with egg and milk, “Nico, though he won’t come. Frank, Reyna, Hazel, probably Piper if she isn’t going to go see her dad, Annabeth if it won’t be weird for you. I dunno. Part of me wants to invite everyone. Part of me just wants it to be you and me getting drunk and fat on thanksgiving food.”

“8.5?” Percy almost spat out his whiskey and soda in shock. Surprised by what he was hearing. “What would constitute getting a ten then?” he asked teasingly. “Would Gandalf or Dumbledore be worthy of getting a ten? What about Chiron? Where does he come on the Grace scale, which is how we shall measure all beards from now on.” Percy laughed gently. “You and my mom definitely have been spending far too much time together, you’re beginning to say almost the exact same thing at the exact same moment that the other would say it.” Percy was glad that he had his friend for the holidays. It was easy to feel sorry for yourself and to miss home, but he knew that even though he wasn’t with his family, he soon would be. Or at least that was what he hoped. “Invite Annabeth,” Percy said with a nod and a shrug, “the more the merrier.” He nodded and shrugged. “I can’t decide for you, all I know is that whatever we decide will be great.”

“Mark the day! Percy Jackson, offended that his war beard didn’t score a perfect ten on the Grace Scale!” Jason shook his head mockingly at his friend, laughing all the while, “Perfect ten beard? John Krasinski in A Quiet Place… totally a perfect ten beard there.” Chuckling he kept working in the kitchen, always moving, never stopping entirely, while he talked with Percy, “You know that’s a gigantic compliment right there. I’ll always take being compared to your mom. She’s one of the dopest ladies around.” Nodding he started to assemble the ingredients for his gingerbread, “I will then. I’ll invite them all, though while you can’t decide for me you definitely get some input. This is your Thanksgiving just as much as it is mine.”

“It’s now actually known as the “War and Peace Beard” thank you very much,” Percy couldn’t help the pout that crept upon his face. “Bullshit, John Krasinski doesn’t have anything on me. My beard is fuller, shinier, has better volume, shape and definition than Krasinski does.” He wasn’t going to be defeated by some actor who couldn’t grow a beard in the Office. “Why do you think I said it?” he asked with a smirk. “I think that if we can all get together like we used to, if we can all settle down and really enjoy an evening together. Despite everything that has happened, despite everything that we’ve had to do. Then you know what, that is probably the best victory we can ever get.” He swallowed a mouthful of whiskey and soda, shifting on the stool he sat at as he continued to watch Jason work. “You know we’re really lucky?” he said with a laugh, “I just realised that there is pretty much no chance that our parents are going to show up uninvited.”

Jason shook his head dolefully and sighed, “Percy. I love you more than life itself and would literally throw myself into a burning building to save you… but…. I have to say… his beard is better than yours.” Jason chuckled and nodded, pulling one of the many pads of paper that littered his apartment towards him and started writing names down on it. “I love that reasoning there. Our family and and us celebrating the good things is a good victory indeed.” Jason’s chuckle turned into a deep booming laugh as he nodded to Percy’s realization, “I can’t really imagine my father descending from the heavens to sit at my kitchen table and bitch about my baking skills. He seems like he’d be really judgey.” Leaving his kitchen he brought Percy a warm cookie fresh from the oven, leaning against the counter as he waited for his verdict. “Well?”

“Lies and slander can often be responded to with an example of litigation of some variety.” Pausing for a second, Percy raised an eyebrow gently and smiled. He was rather proud of his beard, it was not difficult to argue that it was the best thing to come out of this war, though he wasn’t sure that was entirely true. “I don’t know, I don’t think that my concern would be Jupiter but rather Mrs Olympus AKA Juno, or Hera. I don’t care what we call her, but she’s the patron Goddess of cows for a reason.” Pausing for a second, he sipped his drink and did his best not to be the most judgemental of bitches. “Ah, excellent, allow the sampling to begin.” Percy grabbed a paper napkin and made a huge show of tucking it into the collar of his t-shirt before grabbing a plate and a knife and fork to complete his display. Using his cutlery to cut into the cookie, he delicately stabbed it with his fork and chewed on it. “9/10, it’s not as good as those chocolate rainbow cookies you made for pride.”

“You think it’s awkward for you. She’s my stepmother. It’s so awkward. She’s one of the worst creatures in existence.” Jason paused and canted his head toward the ceiling “and yes I know you can hear me and no I don’t care.” Returning his attention to Percy’s ridiculous and grandiose display of cookie eating he shook his head in utter disbelief. “A 9 out of ten?! Those cookies have won baking contests, Jackson! You just liked the pride cookies because they were rainbow and that handsome dude from the parade ate one off your abs.” It seemed a long distant past when Percy and Jason had been in the closet to each other, but now they were both out and supremely comfortable with each other. “speaking of… a guy in my writing seminar asked me out for beers the other day. First date I’ve been asked on since the injury.”

“Well, having had the worst and best stepfather in the entire world, I can sympathise with you, to some extent at least. Though neither Paul nor Gabe ever tried to mind wipe me and send me to the wrong Camp.” Percy shrugged gently as he nursed the last of his drink, swilling the whiskey and soda around and around his glass. At the mention of eating cookies off of his abs, Percy found himself smirking gently in remembrance. “Yes, well that might’ve been one of the highlights, but there was something about those blue chocolate chips that you used or made or whatever,” raising an eyebrow gently, “I don’t know what to say, this is not the first time you’ve not been able to best a previous accomplishment.”

“Though. I do have to give mommy dearest a tiny sliver of credit. Without her I never would have met you, and I can’t imagine not having you in my life.” Jason started to eat one of his cookies before a timer went off and he moved back to the kitchen, pulling the bread from the oven and smiling to himself at how it looked. “Nice to know I haven’t lost any of my skills.” Pride with Percy had become a yearly tradition after Jason had come out of the closet as bisexual, and it was something he enjoyed. It was nice to be free and unconcerned for an afternoon, and if he was incredibly honest; he liked the attention. “I turned him down. But. It’s nice to be asked. I just don’t think I’m at a point in my life where dating mortals is a good idea. Too many things I can’t explain to them.”

Though Percy remained silent, he couldn’t help but think that Juno’s original intention had not been to provide her two favourite demigods with a lifelong friendship. He was certain that she would claim credit for that too. “I guess we occasionally get lucky don’t we?” Pausing he chewed on the last of the cookie in front of him and smiled brightly. “These are really good J,” Percy said quietly, “one day you and my mother will have to teach me how to bake. Maybe I can be someone’s house husband. That would be the dream.” He smiled brightly and shrugged. “Poor kid, I bet he was devastated ….” he still saw Jason the way he saw him when they’d first met. Jason was tall, tanned, muscular and well groomed. He looked like the stereotypical popular kid in all the movies. “You might enjoy the distraction, it could be a nice outlet to get away from all of this.” Percy couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to really date a mortal, everyone he’d dated had been demigods. Maybe it would be the bridge into the mortal world. A first step into normalcy? But he knew that was something they’d never achieve.

“As much as it seems like the Fates shit on us constantly I guess we do get lucky some of the time.” Jason gave Percy his most dazzling smile and threw on his Hollywood voice, “You’re the best piece of good luck that’s ever happened to me, Jackson.” He heaved a longing sigh, “Oh gods right?! Being a house husband is the fucking dream. Just cook and write and game. That sounds amazing. Need me a man or woman who’s on board with that.” He shut off the oven and moved to flop onto his couch, deciding it was time for a break. “I’m sure he wasn’t devastated. But he was disappointed. But I’m retired now. There’s not much I need a distraction from. I mean… I do homework and cook. I help out a little bit but not as much as you or Annabeth.” He shrugged, swirling the liquid in his glass and watching it, “I dunno. I just don’t feel like having to hide parts of myself. You know? I could never invite him back to my place. It’d be very one sided and that’s not good for a relationship.”

“You could maybe try actually getting to know the guy, discover if he is trustworthy and be honest that there are somethings that you simply can’t tell him.” Percy wasn’t really sure why he was suggesting this, he preferred Jason single so that he could always be about when Percy needed him. “I know it’d be difficult to make work, but you never know, what if he is the one and you’re missing it completely because you’re too focussed on what might go wrong?” he paused and picked at a crumb on the marble kitchen island in front of him. Absentmindedly crushing and rolling it between his fingers. “I don’t know, you know what’s best for you, but you’re not leading anymore, you’re basically retired. I’d think that if there was ever a time to look into the benefits of love, then it’d be now, right?”

“Yeah because that doesn’t scream cliche. I’ll just swagger over like hey I know I’m a one-eyed man with a checkered and mysterious past but you just have to trust I’m not a serial killer.” Jason shrugged, “I really don’t feel like there’s the one. There’s someone who’s good for me now, but I mean, especially as a bi bro… there’s a lot of fish in that sea. I don’t wanna get stuck in the rut of thinking there’s just one. But. Who knows. Maybe there is just one.” He laughed “the benefits of love? I think we’ve both been single for far too long to speak on the benefits of love. We just have a hazy memory of what they are.” Sitting up he tugged the hair tie out of his long blonde braid and let his hair hang loose around his shoulders, “I’m still young. 24 isn’t that old. But hey. Whatever happens happens.”

#f&gwriting #chatzy #para #chatzy para #p: jason #let's get basted #not that they do any basting #but thanksgiving puns right

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annieisyourfavourite · 6 years

Note

Pls spill more tea on the Riordan books

ok because i have enough salt in me & it’s been forever since i’ve talked about the mess that the pjo books have become. a list of some Dumb Shit that riordan thought for some reason was good

aforementioned piper can speak french bc it’s a “romance” language

frank gets the blessing from mars which means he’s instantly buff, losing all fat on his body??? like besides the insidiously disgusting (& CLEAR, it’s not subtle) anti-fat messages, that just really doesn’t make a lot of sense?? like sweaty, first things first, fat people can be strong and athletic, frank was already shown to be a great archer by this point. but also, if mars wanted to level frank up, if anything, his body should’ve morphed a little more into like, a brick. you know?? like, he shouldn’t have gotten taller with abs, he should have increased his core strength, because a big guy like frank has a lot of potential for core strength power. think like how maui is in moana. not necessarily fat, but not skinny or “cut”. wide and dense, like a powerhouse. but nooooooooo, he had to be buff and “hot” now. whatever.

i’m a huge rachel stan so i feel like this bothered me more than most people, but that HELLA cringey part where reyna and octavian went to meet with rachel and grover, and rachel fucking….was armed with a blue hairbrush…..god even typing that out makes me embarrassed. that’s like, the kinda nonsense a 14 year old fic writer who loved fandom memes in 2013 would write. e u g h

also lol that was like the ONLY time we saw grover in HOO and i’m bitter about it

octavian being brutally murdered and everyone just lol-ing right past it

why does percy get weird about jason sitting at the head of the table in mark of athena? like, ok, i can forget that percy never really wanted to be a leader anyway, because like it or not, he ended up filling that role a lot. but percy’s a good leader because of his emotional connection to people. he’s not one to stand on ceremony or fuel his own ego, which is what that moment with jason implied. i think if anything, that moment would have made more sense with annabeth, who’s more of the tactical leader, has been head of the athena cabin for years, is one of the most senior members of camp half-blood, and put this whole mission together.

in fact, every time riordan tried to make us believe jason was the leader of anything in these books. the second he reintroduced percy and annabeth as major players threw that believability out the window. but there was still all that ~tension~ for no reason

other people talk about this all the time but it was so embarrassing i HAVE to mention it: the nico and annabeth high-five

drew tanaka as the prima bitch who tries to steal jason from piper. come on, rick, be better than that.

in fact, all of piper’s “i’m not like other girls” bullshit

calypso getting mad that she wasn’t rescued earlier (and that leo was ugly?? am i remembering that right, she didn’t like leo cuz he wasn’t her typical hero?? cuz if so that’s also gross). because how would calypso have known that percy made a deal to save her unless someone from the pantheon…….came to get her……….. also why would zeus just NOT do that, like does he really care? was there any real reason for any of that? also just the complete assassination of her character but whatever

“schist”

#asks #anon #these are all hoo cuz that's where the most egregious stuff is #but there's some more thematic stuff i'm not a fan of in the original #like the lack of physically disabled characters #and the general air of fatmisia #but hoo is more just straight up cringey and dumb #mine #PJO #discourse

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spinningsidetable · 5 years

Text

Gentleman: 1/3

Pairing: Octavian/Leo Valdez (leotavian)

Warning/Genre: Genre/Warning: AU, No Godly Parents, Spy Shit, Action Movie Parody, Non-Linear Story Telling, Admittedly Unhealthy Relationship, Descriptions of Violence, Dubious Consent Smooching, Sexual Situations,"Humor"

Rating: Mature

Summary: Leo has worked for the Agency for awhile now, the guy in the chair helping Agents save the world and all that, but now it seems like an actual supervillain is enamored with him.

(Notes: I'm condensing this, so long story short and all that, this isn't meant to be a healthy ideal relationship, it was born entirely out of American action movie tropes. I'm going to trust those reading this are adults and able to tell reality from fiction.)

“It’s the perfect plan!” Leo exclaimed, slamming his hand down on the blueprints in front of the group. “I know it’ll work. Because, I mean, I came up with it. When have my plans ever gone bad?”

Jason and Piper exchanged a look, as did virtually everyone else in the room, including grunts in the background working on machinery.

“I…well, let’s spitball some other thoughts, maybe?” Jason spoke slowly, as though he didn’t want to spook a small animal. Or, small Leo that was.

“Right! Let’s maybe revisit that miniature drone idea?” Piper offered, looking to some other people behind her who seemed to catch on and began nodding animatedly.

“Oh- oh, yeah! The drones!”

“That’s a good idea!”

“Great job, Leo!”

Leo’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “I thought we already established that he had EMP devices set up around the perimeter of the base, so we can’t get in any drones, micro or otherwise.”

“Oh,” Piper’s face fell. “Well. Maybe underwater drones? I’m sure Percy could-“

Percy was sitting up on a desk behind Leo and shook his head very animatedly, throwing up a big NO with hand signs.

“Right, so, my plan is the best.” Leo said slowly, looking around the room. “Right?”

Piper bit her lip and looked pleadingly up at Jason. Hero Jason. Crime fighting, evil syndicate breaking up Hero. Leo’s best friend since freshman year of high school, Jason.

“It’s just…we’re worried about you, Leo.” Horrible liar, Jason.

“It could go wrong, really quickly.”

Leo rolled his eyes, tapping the laser pointer in his left hand against the desk. The whole presentation with slides had taken 25 minutes.

“He’s never hurt me before, Jason, come on. You know this is our best chance to get in the compound and plant the virus. This is the only way we can save those congressmen!...Or was it senators this time?”

Leo hadn't really cared one way or the other, only skimming through the documents. All he knew was he hadn’t, and wouldn't, vote for the guys.

“Is it though? Is seducing a supervillain really the best way?” Grover asked, slightly nervous. Then again, a lot of secret agents tended to have a nervous or paranoid disposition.

Leo threw his hands up, exasperated. “In this specific situation?! YES! Look, like I said, he’s never hurt me. Come on guys, I’ve always just been…the repair guy, the guy in the chair. But, this one crazy asshole seems to be in love with me, so let me do the super-secret spy shit for once! Instead of Jason, or Reyna, or Percy!”

“…But he’s not in love with you.” Annabeth said, frowning, before being shushed and chided by about five people. “What? He’s not.”

“Uhhh,” Leo paused, before he laughed incredulously. Were they all crazy? Had they met the guy?

“Yes, he is? He’s tried to capture me like…fifteen times now? He calls me all sorts of pet names in like…so many different languages? He poured me a glass of wine from the 1700’s for fucks sake!”

There was complete silence, besides a nervous cough by a soldier in the back.

“…What?”

“Don’t…you think, maybe…that’s a little suspicious?” Piper asked, her voice going down to calm soothing mode. “That the bad guy would target…you?”

Leo frowned, glancing down at himself and back up. Rude. “Why?”

“Because you’re a weak link,” Reyna huffed finally having had enough. Jason hissed something at the female captain, looking more like an upset bird more than a 6’2 blond superman.

“Shush, Grace. Look, you’re Jason’s friend. Which means you have more information on him than anyone else besides Piper. You’re also in charge of our engineering and online resources, which means taking you out of the equation is important. Plus, you probably have connections to virtually every world leader, through your contacts at the Agency. He’s not going to chance taking Piper again, not after the first time he tried to kidnap her, Jason nearly brought down half a mountain.”

The first time Jason had met Piper, the girl had discovered for herself a secretive plot to kidnap and use major film and media stars. She had broken into a closed off building she suspected was involved, high up in the alps and ended up captured. Jason (and a whole team, but mostly Jason) had been sent in to extract her. The lovestruck blond idiot fell head over heels, nearly cost them the mission, if it hadn’t been for Piper’s quick thinking. She had been part of the group ever since.

Reyna looked Leo up and down, unimpressed. She’d led a black Ops group for over half a decade now, and Leo never seemed to give proper distance and caution to herself and her team. The engineer had gotten himself high clearance just from being associated with Jason Grace. It wasn’t like he underestimated her, or treated her poorly, but the kid lived in a bubble of his own creation. Everything was at least partly a game to him. Leo was either often dangerously flippant or damn near suicidal. Or, that’s what it seemed like. If he wanted to be an Agent, he’d have to learn now. He couldn't continue to assume he and Jason could buddy cop their way through things like a bad B movie.

“You, Valdez? You’re the easy target. You have no romantic affiliation. You’re not physically strong enough to stop him; and you’re apparently extremely gullible for a smart person.”

Jason was pinching his nasal bridge by the time Reyna had finished speaking, while Piper was looking resolutely anywhere besides Leo.

Leo blinked, and opened his mouth, before closing it. “That…That’s not. No, he’s…he tells me he’s-”

“Attracted to you? No offense, but you’re far from the most attractive man on this vessel. You’re not even the most attractive gay short man in this room.”

Nico, behind Reyna seemed to connect the dots, and frowned. “Was that a compliment or-“

“Look, Leo, we appreciate the offer, really.” Piper pushed Reyna to the side slightly, shooting her a look. “But, we…should probably look for …other options, okay.?

“I’m bi,” Leo said hollowly. “I’m not gay.”

“Leo, don’t make this into something it isn’t.” Jason exhaled sharply out of his nose. “You really don’t want to have a supervillain attracted to you. I get it, the guys weird, it's confusing…look, come on, let's brainstorm something else. I'm sure you still have half a dozen other ideas.”

“You…all agree with her?” Leo shook his head, as something in his chest clenched. Did they think so little of him? “You think he’s just…trying to get information out of me? Because I’m some…naïve, weak, loveless idiot?”

No one said anything more, so Leo laughed to himself. This was like all highschool and college all over again. “Okay, wow. Fine. Whatever.”

“Leo-“ Jason started, but Leo turned to leave the ready room.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll just go back to engineering. You’re right, obviously, you’re always right, aren’t you?” The door slammed behind him.

“Fuck that,” Leo hissed, stomping down the small metal corridors on the aircraft carrier. He muttered to himself the entire way, ignoring the looks he got from seamen.

“So what if I’m not…Nico, or Jason, or Percy. Maybe I’m his type?” Leo had, as far as Leo knew, never been anyone’s type, but that didn’t matter. One girl in 9th grade described him as an over eager gerbil.

"Okay, so maybe Reyna has a point, I’d be useful to his evil schemes – but that just means I’m smart! Smart is sexy, right? That’s probably a kink right, like bibliosexual or something? He probably just appreciates my abilities on multiple levels! It’s not like he only became interested in me when he found out who I was in relation to Jason!” Wait, that’s exactly what had happened, wasn’t it? Leo stopped dead in the middle of a hallway.

“Oh god, she’s right, isn’t she?” Leo stewed in his own angst for a minute, before deciding to say fuck it and just return to his room. He continued to grumble, passing by some of the same soldiers who sent him increasingly odd looks until he reached his room.

“Of course, who would be attracted to Leo Valdez? I can’t even have a singular supervillain?” He slammed that door for emphasis too.

“Well, I may know of one. Hello, passerotto mio.”

Leo froze, he unfortunately knew that voice quite well, before turning cautiously. Sure enough, a young man sat on his bed, legs crossed in a very nice black suit. He was taller than Jason, but slimmer in figure, with a head of immaculate pale blonde hair. His tone was soft and casual, but his pale blue eyes were always intense.

“Octavian,” Leo said slowly. “How the fuck did you get in here?”

Octavian stood up, nearly having to crouch in the small rooms within the aircraft carrier. He held a hand over his heart, and sighed. “I searched for you in my soul, amore, and found you here.”

“Haha. Don't make fun of me. Okay, that’s bullshit.” Leo held up a finger and pointed at the ground. “I mean, here, in my room? In the exceptionally well defended aircraft military carrier in the middle of the fucking nowhere Pacific Ocean, without anyone noticing?”

Octavian smiled, which was always a bit disturbing, because he looked slightly (understatement) manic at times.

“Maybe I’m from an underwater civilization, like Atlantis; or, maybe I have private submarine, radar shielding… and I’m sorry to tell you this, but not everyone on this ship is so…sympathetic to your friends causes.”

Bad, that was very bad, really very bad news. They had turncoats, spies. Everyone on board was in danger. Leo needed to stall the man, as best as possible. Jason or Piper would likely come to check on him after a bit.

“That’s…got to be some really good radar shielding, to hide from this ship.” Leo said slowly, leaning up against the door.

Octavian walked closer. This man had toppled small governments, created rebellions, killed politicians and businessmen. “…Want to tell me how it works?”

“Oh, I’d love to, but I’m afraid my tech knowledge isn’t anywhere near as advanced as yours, lux vitae meae.” Octavian was close enough to smell his cologne. He smelled good, he always smelled good; Leo smelled like engine grease usually. Leo didn't know anything about cologne, but Octavian’s was never overpowering, it was the kind you wanted to lean in closer to sniff, next to their body.

“I can always ask my people for the tech details. If you’d stay with me until morning, I’d love to tell you over breakfast.”

“Latin this time?” Leo’s ears were heating up, and he fanned himself. “Boy, just jumping right to it, huh?”

A small smirk tipped up the corner of Octavian’s lips, “I’d be a perfect gentleman.”

Nervous laughter bubbled up in Leo’s throat. A gentleman supervillain. Ridiculous.

“That’s…great and all,” Leo stuttered over a few words. “But…the jig is up, you know. I’m…wise to you. If you think I’m some…weak link, you’re wrong.”

Octavian’s brows furrowed just ever so slightly.

“Yeah,” Leo nodded to himself, feeling mildly emboldened in the face of death. “I’m never going to tell you anything about Jason, or any codes, or anything about my machines! You can sweet talk all you want, but I’m not that naïve!” Yes, he was. Apparently. “You can drop the act, you’re not tricking anyone.”

“Tricking you?” Octavian repeated slowly. “With….sweet talk?”

“Yup,” Leo popped the p, taking a step forward away from the door. He shoved a finger into Octavian’s chest, who looked down at it, amusement clearly growing on his face. It was a familiar look, like the first time they met.

“We both know you don’t have the hots for me. Look at me. I’m…not even the hottest short gay guy on the boat.” Leo faltered slightly, trying to repeat Reyna’s words. Would Octavian go after Nico next? Mitchell? Mitchell was kind of an asshole, so Leo hoped not. Octavian could do better- wait, he was a mass murderer.

“I see.” Octavian grabbed up Leo’s hand and kissed his knuckles. “Says who?”

Leo’s brain stopped functioning. “Buh, what wait? I-…everyone apparently?”

Octavian peppered kisses down his hand, to his fingers. “Ah, and who is everyone? When did this happen? You used to be so fiery, telling me you could never be with a man like me…Now, you believe I’m lying?”

“I-..I…” Leo’s eyes were focused on the pale hand around his own tan one. He still had dirt and grime on his hands, but that didn’t seem to matter. It never seemed to matter. In fact the more filthy Leo was, the more interested Octavian acted.

“They…told me my plan was bad…”

Octavian paused, looking Leo in the eyes. “Plan?”

“I…was going to offer myself up to you, seduce you, and then plant a virus?” Leo laughed, awkwardly trying to pull his hand back. “I’m guessing you would have just tortured and killed me, huh?”

Octavian’s eyes had dilated, and his head tilted just slightly to the side. “Seduced me? How so?”

Leo flushed. “Man, I don’t know. You know, I only have spy movies to go off of? I guess… wear something skimpy, get all up close and personal, but put off sex until I can drug you asleep? Something like that? Do they make poison lipstick, or is that just a TV comic book thing?”

Teeth nipped at Leo’s finger tip, just slightly, before Octavian answered in a rough voice. “If you think I would kill you for that, you’re very mistaken. And, while I can’t possibly object to you in less clothing, I find you quite seductive as you are.”

Leo looked down at his grungy white tank top and brown oil stained jogger type shorts. “Okay, now I’m really starting to realize how full of shit you are. Drop the act-”

He was cut off, by getting pushed against the door. Lips met his in a demanding kiss, while hips pressed against Leo’s stomach gave away the fact maybe he wasn’t so full of bullshit. Octavian was hard, not fully, but enough that butterflies in Leo’s stomach began to flutter. Leo’d never been with a man before, he’d barely been with a woman. He’d spent ages 16-23 essentially as Jason’s weird sidekick. They’d been trying to save the world for the last 3 years, and before that it was just crunch week, except if crunch week was 4 solid years. Any guy or girl around was attracted to Jason, or Piper, or Nico, or Percy, the list grew and grew as they met more and more agents.

Leo whined slightly, clenching his hands into the suit in front of him. Octavian was always such a good kisser. Leo found that out kidnapping 6#. Leo was properly distracted, playing tonsil hockey until something blasted him out of the moment.

An actual blast, that rocked the ship. The metal groaned, and creaked in a way that told Leo the ship was likely taking on water, a lot of it.

Octavian pulled back, lips flushed a lovely red, smiling like the cat that got the Canary. “Ah, well, that’s my que. You know what you said about drugging someone asleep?”

Leo paused, and frowned, and then realized. “Oh.” Ya valió madre.

In one of Octavian’s hands was a very small patch, that he had affixed to the back of Leo’s neck as he kissed him. Leo’s vision began to blur, and he felt the familiar sensation of blacking out. This was not the first time Octavian had used such a thing on him. Afterall, this was kidnapping number 16. Knock out patch was roughly kidnapping #9 which Leo didn't remember very well, besides laying in bed with a headache and Octavian massaging his temples. Leo had built up more of a tolerance since then.

“Sleep, petit souris.” Octavian’s voice became a garbled mush of noises. Leo mumbled something that sounded like 'you're French now?' before he stumbled and collapsed into open arms.

“Computers, computers,” Leo sang to himself, as he pulled out hard drives and wires. “Only an idiot doesn’t protect their computers!”

It wasn’t like it was Leo’s first time out or anything, him and Jason had already taken on some serious nasty pieces of work, but this was their first real mission together. Jason had been roped into the Agency a year and a half ago, but Leo was left sitting in an office. Of course, the Agency had excellent offices. Nice chairs, some nice pieces of tech, coffee stations. But, it was getting boring, just surveying cameras, talking to Jason and other Agents over comms. Leo had wanted action, so when some freak that called himself Octavian (real name unknown) captured a good sized law firm in the heart of New York city, he jumped at the chance.

Most of the bad guys and Agents fighting were in another part of the building; Leo wasn’t trained for any of that really, but he was trained to take down any computers, networks, and surveillance the dastardly bastard had set up. A couple Agents were at the look out, keeping Leo covered as he went to work. They were the strong silent type, probably, didn’t want to talk to Leo much. Because of duty, and honor. Definitely not because they thought he was annoying.

“You know,” Leo pulled out a screwdriver from his toolbelt, “you should really let me make some customizations to your weapons. Sure, they’re good, but they could be so much better.”

“I’m sure they’d appreciate the thought,” a voice said behind Leo. That was not Hank or Sam, Leo realized, and scrambled to his feet.

A blond man stood at the doorway, his body posture was relaxed, but his expression was anything but. Hank, one of the Agents, slid down the wall, throat bloody and flowing down his chest at an alarming rate.

Leo’s hands went cold, as he watched the man of the hour, Octavian, casually wipe arterial blood splatter off his cheek like it was jam.

Sam wasn’t as far gone as Hank had been, and he struggled to stand up to fight back. Octavian let out a gleeful laugh, before grabbing Hank’s gun and blasting Sam through the bottom of his chin and out the top of his skull.

“Oh, my god.” Leo whispered, stomach turning over. It wasn’t the first death he had seen, not the first dead body, but this was a small closet; Leo was right up close and personal. A piece of Sam landed on Leo’s boots.

“You…came! Octavian, sir, I was captured!” Leo gasped out, coming to his senses. “I’m so glad to see you! I thought those…Agency bastards would kill me!”

Octavian had taken a moment to grab up personnel information from the fallen Agents, but at Leo’s voice, he zeroed in on the shorter man. The same expression that had been on Octavian’s face when he killed Sam came back full force.

“Try again.”

Leo gulped, holding up his hands. “I’m the computers guy! I swear! They trapped me in here when I came to check on the servers they had already started to destroy!”

Octavian held up Hank’s gun and cocked it. “Last chance, pieni rotta.”

Leo momentarily forgot his fear as he full grimaced. “Yo, man, did you just call me a rotten penis? What even language was that?”

Octavian looked more amused, shrugging a shoulder, but tilted the gun back and forth in a lazy manner. “Tic toc, tic toc.”

Leo’s shoulders dropped, “what answer would keep you from blasting my brains out?”

Octavian actually seemed to think about it. “Well, you’re obviously tech savy, otherwise you wouldn’t be here - that could always be useful, however if you’re too high ranking you become a target – too low, I have no use for you.”

Leo grinned, clapping his hands together. “That’s like, so convenient, you have no idea! Because, I am, in reality, a moderately high level engineer! Like, perfect level of useful enough not to kill immediately! I’m so glad we sorted this out. In fact, you don’t even have to torture me!”

Octavian holstered the gun with a nod. Holy shit, had that actually worked?

“Good try. Now, who are you actually? We can have this conversation civilly.”

No, of course not. Leo snorted. “Well, aren’t you the gentleman.”

A crackle from Leo’s comms kicked in, as Jason’s voice came through. “Leo! You need to evacuate immediately! I repeat. Evacuate immediately!”

“Leo,” Octavian pronounced slowly, deeply, to the point it felt nearly invasive. “You’re Leo Valdez? I’d heard of you, of course, but I had no idea…”

Leo, tight lipped and clench jawed, lifted the comm to his mouth. “NOT A GREAT TIME, JASON. OVER.”

Then he turned back to Octavian. “Yeah, well, I’ve made a point to remove myself from anything trackable. Plus, the Agency didn’t want to let me off leash until today. Obviously, I'm just too dangerous. Five foot two inches of Rambo.”

“How is your first experience in the field?” Octavian asked casually, seemingly playing along.

“Oh,” Leo shrugged a shoulder. “You know. Started off okay, tons of bacon at the buffet, then we broke into this building to save a bunch of rich white guys in suits. Now, an even whiter guy slash possible supervillain is holding me hostage. Also, I’ve got brains from a guy on my shoes. It is what it is.”

Octavian’s expression, inexplicably, softened slightly from a 13 on the Murdery scale, to…maybe a 4?

“You amuse me, schattig mechanic. If we were under better circumstances, I’d love to take you out. Do you like Italian?”

“Why? Are you Italian?”

“Very possibly, or maybe not.”

“Well, you know, you’re kind of hot in a scary way, so I’d probably take you up on that. I get out like…never.” Leo questioned if he should be flattered or not, or what the fuck a schattig was. Didn't sound Italian. Something Nordic maybe?

“But, again, guys brains on my shoe.”

“You really seem stuck on the shoe thing.”

“Much like the grey matter on my shoe.”

“I’ll get you a new pair,” Octavian, stepped aside from the doorway as more men showed up. Not Leo’s men.

“But, first, I’m afraid little kiniun…you’ll be coming with me.”

#fanfiction #mypjofanfiction #pjo fanfic #Leo Valdez #pjo Octavian #octavian #hoo octavian #leotavian #repost from ao3 #excessive use of translate apps

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