#and their friends naturally say that they’re all single (ignore that too) idk man it’s ok they like to pander amd that dream is a toxic

[cantofworms]

.

[softyoongiionly]

chapstick

based on the time Jungkook said he needed someone to scold him so he’d remember to put lip balm on.

Or 

Jungkook’s had a really long day and the only that can make it better, is seeing you. 

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 5.8k

Genre: fluff, smut, established relationship, jungkook has a man bun idk what else I could possibly want

Warnings: language, explicit smut (18+ only plz), oral (male receiving)

A/N: Hello yes, I am mess. I wrote this in like four hours and it’s unedited but wow wow wow wow I am GOING THROUGH it for Jungkook. Anywayz, I love u. here u go

Jungkook is in a bad mood today.

He’s been awake since 6am, he hasn’t eaten since mid-morning and, he’s been practicing for over 12 hours.

Worst of all, everyone else seems to be in a good mood.  

It’s not that he hates when his hyung's are happy, it’s just that when you’re in a bad mood-  sometimes the shriek of someone’s laughter can feel intrusive.  

“Alright!” Hoseok’s voice hits the practice mirrors and with Jungkook feeling oversensitive, he cringes at the sound of it, “Let’s go again from the top!”

Jungkook sighs through his nose, stretching his sore back for a moment before getting back into formation.

“Jungkook-ah! Push a little harder in the second half ok?!”  

Hoseok is in dance-mode and therefore he has no idea how loud he’s being.

Jungkook purses his lips and nods, taking a deep breath before shaking out his hands.

“Yah! Jungkook?” Hoseok calls, facing the mirror, his eyes searching for Jungkook at the back of the practice room.

“Yeh.” He grunts, barely looking up from the floor.

“Did you hear me?”

He nods, his hands fumbling around in the pockets of his sweatpants, “Push harder in the second half...”

The rest of the boys seem unphased by his uninterested demeanor. They are no stranger to exhaustion.  

“Alright- let’s go.”

For what feels like the 100th time today, Jungkook moves through the routine as if it were second nature. The movements feel robotic and the muscles in his arms are beginning to turn to Jell-O. The strands of his hair are covered with sweat and, he’s thankful for his newly procured undercut for lessening the amount of heat he’d normally feel after working out this long.  

He feels gross though.  

Normally, he enjoys working this hard but today he isn’t feeling it. In fact, the strain between his brows is getting a little painful as he really tries his best not to frown.

The new choreography is intense and as much he likes the challenge- after the 100th time of running through it, he’s starting to get frustrated.

Panting through his nose, he holds his position at the end of the routine before Hoseok finally calls it.

“Yahhhh! That was a lot better huh? You guys did good.” He praises, clapping his hands, “Now go get some water and then we’ll run it again...”

Jungkook sighs hopelessly, letting his head fall back on his shoulders. He cringes at the feeling of sweat collecting on his skin, wanting nothing more than to make it back home to his shower.

Amongst other things...

Grabbing a bottle of water off of the table, Jungkook has to work very hard not to crush the bottle in his hands as he eagerly gulps down what he can. He finishes the bottle in record time and as he reaches for a second one, he pulls his phone out of his pocket to check it.  

Tweety: hiii I hope you’re having a good day! Do you want to takeout tonight? I got caught up at the school and, I didn’t pull anything out.

Jungkook feels his tight chest loosen up a bit as he sees your text come through.

You made a comment one day that he ‘gives off bugs bunny vibes’ and he responded by comparing you to Tweety bird.  

Needless to say, the nicknames are dumb but you guys think they’re cute.  

Bugs: takeout sounds good. I’ll be there late tonight though :/ I hope you had a good day too. Miss u.

Jungkook has just enough time to respond to you before he is wincing at the sound of Hoseok corralling everyone back to the practice floor.

Again, again, again, again, and again...

He’s so tired by the end of the circuit that he’s starting to feel throbbing in his temples. Headaches are a common side effect of over-exertion and just as he is getting ready to beg to go home, they are calling it.

“Ok ok- good job! You’ve worked hard everyone. Let’s rest for a day and then resume on Sunday.”

Jungkook feels his entire body deflate with relief at the last words parading out of Hoseok’s mouth.  

His day is finally over.

He reminds himself to never wear new boots to rehearsal again because he can’t feel the tips of his toes and his fairly certain there are blisters on the of his ankles.  

“Are you riding with me?” Jimin asks him on the way out of the practice room, his voice decorated with exhaustion.

Jungkook doesn’t fully pay attention to his question, his eyes already trained on his phone.

“No, I’m getting my own car.”

Jimin looks confused for a moment before a small smirk comes over his face.

“Are going to see her?”

Jungkook doesn’t respond quick enough, his mouth parted slightly as he types out his message to you.

“Aren’t you worried what people are going to think? You’re over there a lot...”

Jimin isn’t being judgmental with his questioning and Jungkook knows this. He can hear the genuine concern in his voice and understands that his hyung is merely looking out for him.

“I don’t really care what people think anymore.” He answers honestly, ensuring that he keeps his tone as polite as possible.  

Jungkook’s had to worry about the opinions of others since he was 15. As grateful as he is for his career, he is growing tired of being unable to make his own decisions. His gaze hones in on the tattoos covering his fingers and forearms and remembers a time not too long ago where he was required to hide them. Putting a band aids on his own self-expression didn’t feel good and he sort of promised himself that he wouldn’t allow the expectations of others to stop him from doing what he wanted.  

Or seeing who he wanted...

“You’re getting bolder with age.” Jimin notes, somewhat proudly as his eyes flicker over to him, “You really like her, don’t you?”

Tweety: miss u toooooo. I ordered ramen

Bugs: I just got out. I should be there in 20 minutes. I’m so hungry

Jungkook feels his cheeks heat up at Jimin’s question and rather than answer him, he just kind of shrugs, his mouth turned up in a small smirk.  

“Yah, don’t hold out on me-”Jimin bumps his shoulder, tilting his head in an attempt to get him to look his way, “We’ve known each other for how long?”

Jungkook slips his phone back into his pocket and adjusts his bag on his shoulder.

“I think the answer is obvious hyung.”

Jimin rolls his eyes playfully, “If it’s so obvious then why don’t you just say it.”

The two of them lean against the wall of the lobby, waiting on a notification from their drivers that they are outside.

Jungkook bites his lip, in an attempt to reign in the grin that threatens his face.

“I like her.”

Laughter trickles out of Jimin’s lips as he bumps his shoulder, “Why are you shy all of the sudden? Is there something else I don’t know?”

Yes.

There was something else Jimin didn’t know.  

Jungkook hasn’t told a single soul since it happened.  

He’s so incredibly private and after meeting you, he only has more of an urge to keep things to himself.  

“There’s nothing.” Jungkook mutters, his eyes eagerly looking checking his phone for the driver notification.

“You’re lying to me.” Jimin calls him out, “What is it?”

Jungkook shakes his head, tucking a bit of hair behind his ear. He licks over his lips and immediately regrets the fact that he forgot his Chapstick.

How’s he supposed to kiss you, if his lips are chapped?

“Jungkook-ah, tell me-” Jimin whines, tugging on his sleeve.

He merely snickers finally and shrugs him off, shaking his head, “There’s nothing to tell. Why do you think I’m hiding something from you?”

“Because I’ve known you for almost ten years and I-” Jimin begins before a knowing smirk comes over his face, “Wait- you’ve slept with her haven’t you?”

Jungkook’s eyes widen a bit, taken aback by his bold statement, “Someone’s going to hear you, why are you asking questions like this?”

His hyung giggles, deeply satisfied with his discovery, “You have, haven't you?”

Jungkook feels the threat of a smile come over his face again, “Why do you want to know? It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters-” He shoots him a pointed look, “Because we’re best friends? And I want to know. When did it happen?”

Jungkook is feeling a little bit bolder, unable to help the pride he feels that he was finally able to experience an intimate relationship, “Which time?”

Jimin’s eyes widen before he slaps Jungkook on the arm, “Which time??? You’ve done it more than once?”

“Shhh-” Jungkook whisper yells, his brow furrowing, “We’ve been seeing eachother for 6 months. Why do you look so surprised?”

Jimin chuckles this time, glancing behind him, “I just- I don’t know...it was your first time, wasn’t it? I just thought you’d make a bigger deal of it.”

He shrugs again, a smirk still lingering, “It was a big deal- to us. I thought you guys would just figure it out eventually.”

Ever the nosy one, Jimin slinks a little closer to him, a bit of mischief in his eyes, “It’s fun huh?”

Jungkook just rolls his eyes, brushing him off playfully, “I thought I was supposed to be the youngest.”

Jimin ignores his comment and just looks at him expectantly.

Giving up on holding out, Jungkook finally gives him what he wants and replies.

“It was fun.”

Jimin offers his signature bit of laughter again but before he’s able to interrogate him any further, Jungkook finally gets the notification that his driver is here.

“I’ll see you Sunday, hyung.” Jungkook gives him a short wave before adjusting his bag on his shoulder.

Jimin smirks and flutters his fingers in his direction, “Have fun.”

Jungkook just shakes his head, groaning to himself as he finally leaves the building.

Slumping into his seat, he shuts his eyes for a moment and tries his best not to fall asleep. Thankfully, his desire to eat his weight in ramen paired with his desire to see you keeps him from passing out.  

You and Jungkook have been together for a while now and although the initial nerves surrounding seeing him have lessened slightly, you still want to look good for him. Thankfully for you, when it comes to impressing your boyfriend- less is more.  

Slowly but surely, he has revealed his preferences to you but they have slipped out casually. He doesn’t ever want you to feel like you have to look a certain way for him.  

But you do know he likes black.

And you do know he likes when you wear oversized pieces.

The harsh bit of winter also makes dressing in gigantic hoodies and thick socks a lot easier anyhow.  

So you opt for something along the lines of cute but comfy and tend to your hair the easiest way you know how.  

Jungkook also loves it when you don’t wear any makeup. But he’s never told you directly, you’ve just figured out based on the way he gets all starry eyed every time you wash your face at night.  

The ramen is all set up in the living room and you’ve got one of the Christmas movies the two of you started the other day, ready to play.  

By the time you hear a knock at your door, everything is ready for a cozy Friday night with your boyfriend.

Upon opening your door, you are met with the sight of Jungkook- sweaty, soft and slightly sleepy standing there in all of his glory. He’s dressed in grey sweats and a big white t-shirt, his hair tied up messily atop his head. Along with the smell of sweat, you can faintly make out the remnants of his cologne and it stirs something deep inside of you.  

Jungkook’s eyes scan over you briefly, offering a small smile as he leans in to peck your cheek, “Hiiii...”

He sings the greeting, patting your hips as he quickly steps into your apartment.  

“Hello,” You sing back, giggling a bit, “Did you guys just now finish up practicing? Didn’t you start at like 7?”

Jungkook winces as he begins slipping off his big clunky boots, leaning back against your front door, “Yeah. I really thought they were trying to kill me- I did the new dance so many times, I lost count.”

Pouting your lips, you take his bag off his shoulder and hang it up on your coat rack.  

“I’m so sorry.” You murmur, shaking your head, “Did they give you tomorrow off at least?”

At this, Jungkook grins, nodding as he does, “Yeah, I was going to ask you what you were doing tomorrow cause I thought maybe you’d want to hang out. Our night was supposed to start a lot earlier...”

He looks regretful and even slightly annoyed.

He’s been having this issue a lot lately where his prior obligations and engagements seem to mean nothing to his directors, which never used to be a big deal but, now that he has you in his life- he never wants to let you down.

“I’m free all day-” You reply happily, before narrowing your eyes at him, “I have one condition though-”

Jungkook looks intrigued, cocking his head as he steps forward, “What’s your condition?”

“I need one of these...” Pointing to your lips, you pucker them and make grabby hands at your boyfriend.

He laughs softly, shaking his head as he closes the space between you, “I just got here and you’re already using kisses as collateral now huh?” His voice gets a little lower and before you can reply, his gently places his lips on yours, sighing out through his nose as his flutter shut.

Once he starts kissing you, you aren’t really able to think of a coherent response. Leaning into him, you hum lightly in your throat, tucking your lips between his.  

However, when you attempt to slide your hand up the exposed skin of his arm, he winces and pulls away.

Groaning, you can’t help but giggle, “I know- I know... ‘babe, I’m too sweaty. Let me just shower really quick and then I’ll promise, I'll kiss you so much better’...”

At your attempt to imitate his voice, Jungkook starts laughing- cute nose scrunched up with delight.

He kisses his teeth, “You know me too well. I’ll be right back.”

Jungkook leans in again and kisses you on the cheek before disappearing into your bathroom moments later

After his showering, he comes out in a baggy t-shirt and some sweats, his hair freshly blow dried and piled up on his head in a messy bun.  

He scarfs down his dinner in record time before the two of you settle back against the couch.  

You can feel him looking at you as you giggle at the TV but he doesn’t let his eyes linger very long. He just kind of stares for a moment before simply tightening his grip around your shoulders. He feels so warm beside you that you seriously wonder how long you’ll be able to stay awake with him being the human equivalent of a weighted blanket.  

When your laughter erupts again, Jungkook leans in to pop a kiss on your check, which broadens your smile that much more. It’s only for a moment before he turns back to the TV, seemingly satisfied with his actions. However, you decide to return the favor and smoosh your lips against his face, eliciting a snicker from his throat.  

You snuggle into him more, grabbing his arm that’s resting on the couch beside you and wrapping it around so that his hand is resting your lap. Leaning your head against his chest, you slowly began tracing over the markings on his skin lightly brushing your nails against each unique line. Jungkook’s eyes are trained on the TV and despite his blank expression, you can see the goosebumps forming on his skin.  

Regardless, you just keep going, allowing your fingertips to trace over the letters adorning his hand. Using your nails, you trace between each of his fingers, before interlocking them your own. Once you’re holding hands, Jungkook squeezes slightly, brushing his thumb along your skin which then prompts you to finally to turn to the side and look at him.  

He grins softly, still not glancing your way but choosing to offer a playful comment instead, “You’re not watching the movie...”

You laugh softly, reaching out with your free hand and tilting his face towards you.

“We’ve watched this movie four times-” You retort, “Besides I’m pretty sure I remember you promising me that you’d kiss me properly once you were out of the shower.”

Jungkook’s grin broadens, his doe-eyes alight with defiance, “I’m pretty sure you promised yourself that for me- I don’t remember agreeing to it.”

You scoff in mock offense, “Damn ok. So it’s like that huh? I buy you ramen and yet this is how I’m treated. I’m calling the UN...”

Jungkook laughs a little harder now, the sound a little sharp but intensely endearing, “It’s that serious for you?”

Pouting, you nod, “It is that serious.” You’re about to say something else before you brush your thumb over his lips and notice the dryness there, “Did you remember to bring your chapstick today?”

He immediately sucks his lips between his teeth and given that his ability to speak is no compromsied he simply nods, his eyes wide with false innocence.

“Mhmmm.” He lies

“No you didn’t!” You exclaim, laughing a bit as you press your thumb against the thin line of his mouth, “Babe, it’s so cold outside- your lips are going to start cracking.”

Unfurling his lips, he lets his head fall back on his shoulders, “I know, I know-” He whines playfully before his head snaps back up to yours, the same glint remaining in his gaze, “You have some right?”

You roll your eyes, “You know that I do.”

He snickers, quickly leaning in to kiss your cheek, “Can I have some then?”

Playfully shoving him off, you rise from the couch and shake your head, “I’m giving you one to keep in your rehearsal bag,” You shuffle over to your bathroom, “You better use it!”

He laughs as he hears your demand echo down the hallway before calling back, “Hurry jagi! They are so dry- I can feel them! They are so close to cracking!”

Seconds later, your hurling one of your many lip balms into his lap which he catches just before it hits him.

“Put it on...” You demand pointedly and he shakes his head.

“I don’t think I can-” He sighs dramatically, holding the lip balm out to you, “You have to do it- all of the moisture in my body is slowly fading away...my lips are trying to suck it all up.”

Giggling, you cross your arms, shaking your head, “That makes absolutely no sense.”

“Y/N! Please!” Jungkook chokes out, “Before I waste away...the winter-” His eyes bug out of his head, as his hand clutches his chest, “the winter jagi- it's going to dry me out completely.”

Finally snapping, you grab the Chapstick out of his hands before asserting yourself into his lap. He laughs, resting his head against the couch cushions whilst his hands sneakily find their way to your hips.

“You’re so annoying...” You grumble, still giggling yourself as he puckers his lips dramatically.

“I’m only following your recommendations.” He insists, making kissy noises at you, “Balm me up baby.”

Uncapping the chapstick, you press your chest against his before starting to drag it over his lips. As you get to work on helping him, his mischievous gaze slowly softens until he’s looking up at you with stars in his eyes. Carefully, you make sure every inch of his mouth is covered with balm, paying special attention to the corners and his lower lip. As you finish up, you put the cap back on set on the couch cushion.

He rubs his lips together, humming in satisfaction.

You smirk, “Better?”

Jungkook nods his Adams’ apple bobbing in his throat as he feels you shift on his hips.  

“Make sure.” He murmurs, puckering his lips, his eyes starting to swim with arousal.

You lean in, unable to refuse him before capturing his mouth in a kiss. Rotating your head, you slowly deepen the connection between your lips, drawing a sigh from the boy beneath you. You can feel his thumbs rub ever so gently against the back of your hips as he leans fully back so that your chest is resting on his.

He nudges your nose, allowing his tongue to brush against the bottom of your top lip, requesting entrance into your mouth. You accept him, licking along his tongue, a shiver running up your spine as he sucks slightly on the top of you.  

Jungkook really is a filthy kisser but you’d never guess by just looking at him.  

He’s quite sure his face is growing numb, his only focus on the way you’re making him feel and a somewhat annoying pain on the back of his head. His ponytail is digging against the wall, causing unnecessary discomfort to wash over him. Still kissing you, he reaches behind his head to pull the hair tie out, allowing his hair to fall freely around his face. You take the opportunity to slide your fingers between the strands, scratching gently at his scalp and causing a slightly shaky breath to leave his lips.  

He loves when you play with his hair.  

You use both hands now to tuck it behind his ear before using them to slide down the length of his arms. Finding his hands on your hips, you lace your fingers with his and bring them back up so they are pinned against either side of his head.  

The making out didn’t get him fully hard but as soon as he feels his hands pinned against the head of the couch, he feels his dick twitch almost painfully in his sweatpants.  

Smirking into his mouth, you delight in the sudden halt to his breathing. Subtly, he pushes his hips up a bit when you start kissing your way down his chin and throat. Jungkook summons all the resolve he has and goes perfectly still when you start placing soft kisses along the expanse of his throat. You feel the ache between your legs worsen when you feel his fingers tightening against yours. Jungkook is a very sensitive person, both emotionally and physically. Over the time you’ve become intimate, you’ve slowly uncovered all the little spots that drive him crazy.  

And you’re determined to kiss every single one.  

“You had a hard day huh?” You murmur sweetly, kissing up the right side of his neck.

All he does is nod, his eyes falling shut as he feels your lips getting closer to his earlobe.  

Placing another kiss at his hairline, you slowly kiss along the bottom half of his ear before capturing it between your teeth.

His breath immediately leaves his lips in a shaky mess, his eyes squeezing together as the grip on your hands tightens.

“I think I should help you relax after you’ve worked so hard don’t you?”

He has no idea what you plan to do to him but, he honestly couldn’t give a fuck.  

He’s too hard, too wound up and too into to you to ask any meaningful questions.  

Jungkook merely nods, not trusting his vocal abilities at the moment as he waits for your next move.  

A smirk comes across your face as you suckle lightly on his earlobe, knowing how much he likes it before using your lips to descend back down his neck.  

You lean away from him to get a closer look at his expression. Smoothed out in pure pleasure but also tightening slightly at the discomfort brought on by his throbbing dick.  

His eyes are still closed as you release your grip on his hands and he keeps them that way even as you move to grip the hem of his t-shirt.  

“Are you falling asleep on me?” You tease and he merely grins, shaking his head.

“Then why are your eyes closed?”

He doesn’t open them and instead allows a breathless bit of laughter to leave his lips, sound almost exasperated.

“I feel dizzy.”

His simple responses elicits another desire within you that intensifies your goal to make him feel good.  

“In a good way?” You check, playfully pinching his stomach as you slowly pull up his t-shirt.

He goes back to nodding, his hands coming down to assist you with your task. His hair flops haphazardly as the material of his shirt messes with it. You take a moment to admire how incredibly beautiful he is when he settles back against the couch, your mouth going dry at the sight of him. Flushed face, pouted lips, defined muscles and hardened nipples lay before you, and you are a little unsure of where to put your lips first.

Although it doesn’t really matter, your destination is the same regardless.  

Deciding on another spot that drives him crazy, you allow your fingers to brush along his ribs before leaning in to kiss over his defined chest. Jungkook’s hands are laying limp against the couch but when he feels your lips nearing his nipple, he turns them so they are able to grip the edge of the couch. Sucking his nipple into your mouth, you let you tongue rub against the peak of it. Jungkook sighs loudly from above you and you can’t help but smirk as he still doesn’t allow himself to moan.  

It’s a quirk you’ve noticed and you feel like it’s likely left over from the long-discarded idea that Jungkook has regarding his masculinity. No matter how often you tell him that making noise is perfectly ok (and really hot) he still waits till he can’t help himself.  

And to be honest, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy pushing him towards that point.  

After you finish kissing his chest, you begin trailing your wet lips down the middle of torso, taking a moment to suck over the soft skin of his not so softly defined stomach.

“All those hours in the gym are really paying off-” You mumble against his skin, brushing your fingers over his abs, “You look so strong...”

At your compliment, his lips part, one side of his mouth turning up in a slight smile.

“I wanna look good for you.”

It’s quite a ridiculous statement really.  

Jungkook would look good no matter how many visible abs he had but you know he likes the praise none the less.  

So you shower him with it.

“You always look good for me.” You assure him, kissing along the band of his sweatpants now, “I’m proud of you for working so hard.”

He grins a little more, leaving his eyes mostly close but allowing them to peak open a bit to watch you sink to your knees.  

“Thank you.”

He swallows back the threat of hyperventilation as he feels you spread his legs, his eyes closing completely once again.  

If you weren’t able to make out the sound of his breath picking up, the movement of us chest certainly would have given it away, his pecks heaving a bit as he tries to relax.  

But as you begin gently massaging up his legs, Jungkook realizes relaxing might not be possible.  

At least not at the moment...

He’s stained the seam of his sweatpants with precum which would upset him if it were any other substance but with his dick being so hard, he really can’t find himself to care about anything else.

Tucking your fingers beneath his sweatpants, you begin tugging them off of his hips, relieved that he isn’t wearing any underwear.

Jungkook takes another deep and shaky breath through his nose, tilting his head back again as he tries to center his thinking.

But you’re kind of driving him insane.  

Starting at his knee, you kiss all the way up his inner thigh, taking in the scent of his body- indescribable and mouthwatering, just like him. You stop just before his dick before repeating your actions along the other leg.  

Jungkook’s stomach is caving in at the teasing but he does absolutely nothing to urge you further.  

He likes the torture.  

“Is there anything you want me to do while I'm down here?”  

Jungkook bites his bottom lip at your question, knowing that you’re going to make him ask for it but feeling shy regardless.

“Yes.” He breathes  

You brush your fingertips over his balls, his hips only slightly twitching at the sensation.

He’s trying to stay calm, not wanting to get so ahead of himself he blows his load before you’ve even started.  

“What is it that you want me to do?” You murmur, leaning in to breathe against his length.

You’re expecting him to stall and use every other word to ask for what he wants but instead, he surprises you.

“Suck on it...” He whispers, taking a deep breath before exhaling on the word, “...please.”

Smirking to yourself, you wrap a hand around him- feeling him throb within your grip before kitten licking over the tip of him. After ridding his dick of all the precum, you decide to end his descent into madness and suck him into your mouth.  

You start slow, licking up and down the length of him, your core aching at the taste. Jungkook’s nails are digging into the couch cushions as he feels your movements, his teeth starting to chew on the inside of his bottom lip.

Bringing your hand into the mix, you guide a flexible grip up and down up, using your lips to suck on the tip of him, your tongue tracing the curves of his frenulum.  

Jungkook’s lips part in awe as he feels the combination of moves on his dick, his toes curling against the shag carpet. He knows that his vision will be swimming but he wants to watch you so badly, he decides to finally open his eyes.  

As he predicted, his vision is spotty and the dizziness he felt earlier is nothing compared to the way he feels now.  

It all becomes irrelevant though when he locks eyes with you. Your boyfriends normally innocent gaze is completely glossed over with lust, his mouth hanging open as he stares down at you, the same smirk slowly returning to his lips.  

Sucking off of him, you use your hand to jerk him off as you address him, “Does it feel good?”

He bites his lip, his face and chest decorated with the flush of arousal as he nods.

“Why are you so quiet then?”  

For whatever reason, your question tickles him and drunken giggle bubbles up past his lips,

“’ss too good.” He explains, shaking his head at you, “I don’t know how to say anything...”

Logically, he understands that you aren’t talking about him necessarily saying anything but more so referring to the lack of noise he’s making. However, he knows very well that he’s going to be moaning for you soon, especially when your mouth returns to his dick a second time.  

When he feels you palm his balls, his eyes fall shut again, his hips twitching all over the place when you resume both sucking and jerking him off.  

Jungkook knows he’s biting his lip really hard when he starts to taste a bit of blood but he doesn’t care, the pleasure he’s experiencing overpowering any semblance of pain.  

“Y/N” He whispers, “I’m getting really close.”

His warning makes you swoon because he sounds so desperate and yet he’s being considerate, not wanting to intrude your mouth with the taste of him.  

Despite the fact that, that’s all you want.  

You merely moan against his length, signaling for him to let go whenever he wants, your speed increasing all the while.  

“Fuck...” He whispers again but the word sounds like it got caught in his throat, “Fuck...fuck...fuck.”

Hearing him swear makes the wet disaster in your shorts much worse but you wanna make him cum so badly, you ignore it completely. The sound of him nearing the edge is enough to take him all the way in your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you suck him harder.

Finally, he breaks- a whimpering skipping past his lips, one of his hands coming up to cover his mouth. As much as you want him to moan for you, you don’t want to stop your motions long enough to tell him.  

He throws his head back against the headrest, his eyes opening wide as he stares up at the ceiling in amazement. His body jerks as the first wave of his release hits your tongue and rope after rope, you swallow everything he gives you, sucking him through his orgasm and until the sensitivity becomes too much and he starts squirming beneath you.  

You suck off of him, allowing his softening length to rest against his lower stomach, which is now trembling with his heavy breath.

Jungkook pants, still staring him at the ceiling and while he’s coming down, you kiss along his hips, letting him take his time. Whilst you’re kissing up his happy trail, one of his hands reaches out to brush over your face. Its then you notice that it’s clammy and a bit shaky so, you take a moment to press a kiss over his knuckles, trying to encourage him to look at you.

“You’re shaking.” You whisper and before you know it, you can hear that same drunken giggle coming from his lips again.

Your boyfriend looks down at you, a deep sense of amazement in his eyes as he laughs still, a bit delirious.

“Yeah well-” He shakes his head, still trying to get his wits about him, “You should have a talk with your mouth about that...”

You giggle now, resting your chin on your hand as you admire how fucked-out he looks. His hair is a mess and he is covered in a light layer of sweat and if you’re being honest, you really want to jump his bones all over again. But you know he needs a minute.

“I just wanted to help you relax.” You claim innocently to which he just shakes his head, gesturing for you to get on the couch.

“Come here.”

You scramble up towards him, sitting beside his exhausted body and before you know it, he’s pulling in for a kiss, his smile creeping back when he feels your lips.

“You’re amazing.”

He sounds silly but sincere all at once, kissing softly at your lips before nudging your nose.

You smile back into the kiss, mumbling something of the same nature to him.  

The two of you kiss one another for a moment until Jungkook is pulling back, allowing his dark gaze to scan over your face, eyes suddenly full of determination.

“I think it’s time you relax too now, don’t you think?”

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 317: My Boy Was Just Like Me

Previously on BnHA: AFO randomly blew up Lady Nagant as a good reminder of why you should never make a deal with this fucking guy, smdh. Hawks was all “well if it isn’t my two best friends, Deku and Lady Nagant, both of whom I respect and love tremendously.” Everyone was all “??” and Horikoshi was all “shh... just pretend” because it was too embarrassing for him to admit that he forgot to write a couple of set-up flashbacks I guess. Anyway so Hawks got Lady to tell them where AFO was hiding out, and everyone said goodbye to her and Overhaul, who never did get to see his boss (sorry buddy, I’ll send you a vial of my tears in the mail), and headed out to a house in the woods. AFO was all “hello Deku :) :) it sure is fun making you suffer :) :) :) anyways this is a trap”, and blew up the house. Yeah, we all here are getting reaaaaaaaal tired of your shit, AFO.

Today on BnHA: The Hawksquad and Edgeplatoon meet in a warehouse and are all “what should we do about the fact that everything sucks?” Mt. Lady is all “here’s a thought, what if we tried battling AFO with more than six people.” Hawks and Endeavor are all “great initiative, but just a friendly reminder that our friends also suck and would probably betray Deku which would suck further still.” Shouto is all “ANSWER THE PHONE DAD” and Endeavor is all “[IRONICALLY DOESN’T ANSWER THE PHONE].” Meanwhile over in Sadtown, capital of Sadland Prefecture, Japan, Deku is all “All Might, as you can clearly see I am completely fine and good, never been better in fact, definitely not caught up in the throes of an epic mental breakdown which is shutting me down emotionally, anyway so on that note I would like to leave you now goodbye!!” All Might is all “[can’t actually form any words because he’s too distraught].” Fandom is all “o(╥﹏╥)o.” Horikoshi is all “(*＾-’) 乃 [pew pew finger guns and barrel rolls into the darkness].”

sweet jesus lord

this literally doesn’t even look like Deku anymore?? this looks like Dark!Deku who shows up to fight you in that one room in the Water Temple. he looks like he’s about to crawl out of my television set and murder me with his psychic powers good lord

holy shit lmao Horikoshi is really just shrugging his shoulders and resolving last week’s cliffhanger with a single line of dialogue

fire is no one’s weakness. idk what other options you’ve got, AFO, but you’re gonna have to go back to the drawing board. maybe try bees or something. I’m just saying. we’re all expecting fire at this point but nobody is expecting bees

anyway so now they’re all sitting in some warehouse somewhere chatting about it I guess. shoutout to Horikoshi for finally giving my man Edgeshot some more dialogue at long last

well, Edgeshot, to answer your question, she exploded. so naturally she’s fine

nah just kidding, Hawks says she won’t be able to help them out much because she’s recovering from being exploded. this is the part where we all ignore the fact that Hawks got set on fire for like a full ten minutes back during the War arc and was only in the hospital for a day. anyways enjoy your temporary plot hiatus Nagant

man there’s a lot of dialogue here and I’m trying to figure out where to insert commentary but it’s kinda difficult lol. basically, Edge and the others are saying that they should gather up the other remaining heroes and get them all caught up on the whole OFA situation. which, hmmmm

like on the one hand, these guys definitely aren’t going to cut it on their own, so it’s a reasonable suggestion on the face of it. but on the other hand, do we really want to entrust the OFA secret to a bunch of other people, most of whom shat the bed during the War arc to be quite frank? is it really worth the additional risk? especially given that any one of them might go spilling the beans to the public -- or worse, betray them to AFO??

also just a quick side note here, Mt. Lady’s character development never ceases to delight me. she’s become so committed to her responsibility as a hero these days, and it fucking suits her. I genuinely consider to be one of the elites now. I mean it doesn’t hurt that all the other elites are fucking dead lol but still

wait what? Death Arms retired??

Death Arms as in the guy who was too afraid of a little fire to try and save a terrified 14-year-old kid who was slowly suffocating right before his eyes?? that Death Arms???? color me surprised. shocked, I tell you

...okay but holy fuck

Death Arms. bro. my expectations for you were low but holy shit. like I’m sorry, but I don’t even have it in me to try and pretend like I feel the slightest bit of sympathy for him or Old Man Samurai or any of those other guys today. thanks for a whole lot of nothing my dude. good riddance

(ETA: so I’m rereading this the next day and realize this comes off as kind of harsh, so let me just try to clarify. it’s not the fact that he’s quitting that bothers me, to be honest. it’s the fact that he’s quitting specifically because he feels like the public is being mean to him. that’s it.

seriously. it would be one thing if he was quitting because he was scared, because now that is human. nobody wants to die, and I doubt any amount of training can ever fully prepare someone to go up against that fear. but the thing is, he never once mentions that, or talks about the danger aspect. instead, I got the distinct vibe from this speech that Death Arms is one of those people who only became a hero because of the limelight. and I just don’t have any patience for that. if all you care about are likes and subscribes then go become a fucking youtuber or some shit. nothing wrong with that! but you didn’t; you signed up to be a hero and protect these people. they gave you their respect and admiration because they trusted you to protect them. and now that they’re no longer in the mood to worship and applaud your every move on account of them being scared shitless because they’re living in the literal end times, you decide to dip. so like okay, fine then. don’t let the door hit you on the way out. anyways lol sorry for the rant.)

anyway so yeah. perfect example of why I don’t exactly have a ton of faith in most of the remaining heroes out there lol. also let me just once again give a shoutout to my best girl Mt. Lady whom I suddenly find myself appreciating all the more

“please calm down makeste. drink some water and enjoy this fresh new jeans pun” listen Horikoshi don’t tell me what to do dammit

fine. it is a nice pun, I guess

-- damn so now Endeavor’s saying that the media is already being fed info by the retired heroes. so for some of these guys it wasn’t enough for them to abandon all the people they swore to protect and to leave their fellow heroes out in the cold; they decided they might as well actively make things worse for them while they were at it, huh. like I get wanting to spill all the dirty secrets from your old job that you just quit, but this isn’t Jeff Bezos you’re screwing over, this is a sixteen-year-old kid

-- like, yes!! this, right here!!

exactly!! let’s not forget that there are already two prior instances of this happening. Endeavor arguably deserved it, but Katsuki not so much

huh. Endeavor seems to have a more optimistic outlook regarding this than I do lol

I mean, this is the same public that didn’t hesitant to blame a kidnapped child for his own kidnapping, and then later on for being the downfall of the Symbol of Peace. but okay then

anyway so blah blah blah, more talk about how they need to use Deku as bait, which basically puts them back at square one, and then they’re all just trailing off into silence and sitting around in the dark lmao this is getting very depressing

SKDJFLSDKJ:LFKJ

SHOUTO?????

NOOOOOOOO ARE YOU KIDDING ME

OH HOW THE TURNTABLES OMG. THE GHOSTER HAS BECOME THE GHOSTEE. Endeavor you petty son of a bitch. and what a brutal cut to that flashback too. “let’s stop Touya together” nah Shouto I’ve got a better idea why don’t I abandon you in U.A. and sally off with Hawks and Jeanist to found the “let’s pretend like we’re doing something to help Deku” club, which basically consists of us sitting around making terrible decisions all day long

Shouto, honey. you deserve better my little Coca Cola can. .........but if you really do have something important you need to tell your dad you could just text it to him. all the love and support, hugs and kisses, you’re doing amazing sweetie. but if you need to pass on any vital information you can just write it down and hit send honey that’s all I’m saying love

now he’s getting another call?? -- or, no, Hawks is getting a call from All Might

ARE YOU FOR REAL HAWKS OMFG

so while you all were sitting around talking about how useless you are, the kid you’re supposed to be protecting was battling another hired gun. I see. please pardon me for one second, I have a phone call to make. the phone call is to RockLockRock and Manual. the reason for the call is to apologize for calling them the worst bodyguards ever back during the War arc. the reason for the apology is because it turns out I WAS SEVERELY MISTAKEN OMFG

JESUS CHRIST DEKU DID YOU JUST KILL THIS MAN LMAO

shoutout to Horikoshi for offscreening this fight. we get it, lol. Deku strong and scary, villains ineffectual and feeble, and AFO... [checks notes] yep, still a dick. the angst arc continues

-- the angst arc continues, SIR

jesus christ I may have to rethink all of my opinions about Deku being framed for murder in movie 3 lmao. never mind. he did it, your honor

holy fucking shit Deku. “he might blow up, so please be careful” fdlskjflk jlskdjflk lwkejflk anyway so I’ve decided the explosion running gag can stay, actually

DEKU WAIT YOU FORGOT YOUR LUNCH!!

lol why do I get the feeling some serious shit is about to go down. ALL MIGHT NEVER MIND BACK OFF I THINK HE NEEDS HIS SPACE

OH MY FUCK I GASPED OUT LOUD

NO NO NO. I KNEW THIS WAS COMING GODDAMMIT BUT NO. NEVER MIND, I CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT IT, I’M NOT READY TO CRY TODAY

shit. shit shit shit shit and OF COURSE all I can fucking think about is that stupid fucking prophecy and gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Deku please. please please please if you really are going to leave All Might here, please be so very careful in choosing your farewell words to him now because have this sudden horrible fear that this might be the last time you ever see him alive and oh god. oh god oh god

DEKU NO, YOU’RE REALLY NOT!?!?

I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE LESS FINE IN MY LIFE, ACTUALLY????

holy shit. and the fucking callback to the prophecy now. just in case we forgot. WHICH FYI, WE DIDN’T. but that’s basically confirming that this is all still very much on the table and HORIKOSHI NEVER FORGETS oh my god someone please hold me

and the fact that Deku’s flashing back to it now too, though?? because he never forgot either, because of course he didn’t, and now all this stuff is happening, and AFO’s words are getting to him, and this is literally his worst fear come to life and so of course he’s distancing himself from everyone, and now it’s finally come to even this. even the person he admires most

-- OKAY NO, FUCKING COME ON ALREADY I CAN’T TAKE THIS

I GET IT OH MY GOD, I ALREADY UNDERSTAND THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT OF THIS MOMENT WITHOUT ALL OF THE DEVASTATING FLASHBACKS THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!! YOU ACTUALLY DO WANT ME TO CRY, HUH, IS THAT IT. THIS MAN THAT HE THINKS OF AS A FATHER, THIS MAN WHO HAS BEEN EVERYTHING TO HIM SINCE HE WAS A VERY YOUNG CHILD. EVERYTHING THEY’VE BEEN THROUGH, JUXTAPOSED AGAINST EVERYTHING DEKU IS UP AGAINST, EVERYTHING THAT’S AT RISK. LET’S JUST PUT IT ALL SIDE BY SIDE. LET’S JUST PILE ON ALL OF THE FEELS

(ETA: just a quick note that even though some of the posts I’ve read have described these as All Might’s flashbacks, I’m pretty sure they are Deku’s. most of these are scenes that only he was there for, so yeah. even though All Might is the one thinking the thoughts on the next page, the flashbacks are what’s running through Deku’s mind right now, and so we’re getting that emotion from both of them, which makes it extra devastating lol.)

wait, what???

WHAT??? do you really think that’s why he’s been so determined to protect you this entire time?? simply because you’re his successor?

-- oh no wait lol I think I got that mixed up, this is All Might saying that Deku feels the need to protect him. well that makes more sense lol

oh my god I cannot

his last words. his last words to him. and we can’t even see if he is smiling, like All Might always encouraged him to do. but what are the odds he can’t actually bring himself to do it. what are the odds he’s actually crying. oh god this scene is going to rip my heart out and STOMP on it in the anime isn’t it. Deku’s VA is going to full on murder me with emotion. not that there’ll be much of me left to murder after the thorough job that Horikoshi has already done here

YOU’RE CRYING. DEKU IS LEAVING ALL MIGHT AND IGNORING HIS OUTSTRETCHED HAND AND YOU’RE CRYING. AND BY “YOU” I MEAN “ME”, FUCK

nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope no words just feels just a big ol’ pile of feels. I do not have the strength. future me... [broadly gestures] good luck with all that

(ETA: LOL, WELL THEN.

what breaks my heart here is All Might. All Might, and everything he’s been through, and history repeating itself, and forcing him to live this moment from both sides because he wasn’t strong enough to fix things.

Toshinori had only just turned eighteen when Nana died. like, I feel like we don’t mention this enough. the All Might we know is a sixty-something-year-old man, and so everyone always talks about him like he’s basically been an adult forever. but he was a child when he met Nana. and he was still just a child when she died. barely a year older than Deku is now. younger than Mirio was when we first met him.

and we don’t talk about that. we don’t talk about how devastating that was for him. and we don’t talk about how the reason he grew up to become so reserved and withdrawn -- for all that he always tried so hard to outwardly project the image of a bold, confident, smiling hero -- was specifically because of what AFO did to him. because AFO targeted him in the exact way that he is now targeting Deku. because that’s what he does. he goes after every new user of OFA, and he finds out what’s most important to them, and then he destroys it. and for Toshinori, that was Nana. if you’ve read All Might Rising, you know that AFO basically killed her in front of him (and only killed her, while letting Toshinori and Gran get away). Toshinori (while crying) later says she was like a mother to him. and interestingly enough, during this same conversation, Gran tells Toshinori that he can see “that madness in [his] eyes” when Toshi talks about becoming strong enough to defeat AFO. madness in his eyes. sound familiar??

what’s happening to Deku now is the exact same thing that happened to Toshinori when he was a boy. AFO tried every bit as hard to break him as he’s trying with Deku now. “the path you’ve chosen is a thorny one. every battle grinds away at your soul with no end in sight.” we don’t talk about how Toshinori experienced this same thing for forty fucking years. and all the while isolating himself, exactly like Deku is doing now. pushing people away, exactly like Deku. because he never had anyone who was able to reach out and pull him back. and those words that he now finds himself frozen and unable to speak -- “don’t push yourself”; “you can rest” -- are the same words that no one ever said to him until decades later, when it was already far too late to make any difference.

everything that Deku is experiencing now is what Toshinori also went through. and it’s only now, as he watches it happen to his student, the boy he loves like a son, that he’s finally starting to realize the full extent of how wrong it was. you shouldn’t have to fight alone. you shouldn’t have to bear that kind of enormous burden alone. you shouldn’t have to push yourself, and you can rest. you can rest.

but it’s too late. just as he’s finally coming to understand it all, it’s all too fucking late. and he can’t say the words, he doesn’t know how to say the words, and then just like that, Deku is gone.

and he’s alone. again.)

I can’t. this can’t be their goodbye. I’m not ready. for this to be how they finally part, and then they never see each other again except in OFA. how is that fair. how is that fair. how is that fair

fuck me. lol. how many pages are left in this thing. let’s just wrap this up lol. so now of all the times for this fucking guy to finally show up

I can’t believe Stain has been here literally this entire time hiding behind this random wall and cutting onions. that was you who was cutting the onions, right. no need to answer that we’ll just say it was

HORIKOSHI JUST END THE CHAPTER PLEASE I’M OUT OF SPOONS. YOU HURT ME SO GOOD AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT BUT YOU NEED TO LET ME GO NOW SO I CAN BEGIN THE PROCESS OF TRYING TO PUT MY LIFE BACK IN ORDER HERE. SO WHERE ARE WE CUTTING TO NOW WHAT IS HAPPENING

Stain did you also let AFO give you a new quirk. what’s with you guys. do you like blowing up

oh nvm lol because they were talking about THIS GUY ohhhhhh my fucking god

THAT’S BECAUSE HE’S SAD, LINDA!! jesus

omfg. and so yes, good, the chapter is ending here now on page 15. for once I am FULLY on board with that lmao

anyway so tune in next week for more adventures of Werewolf Deku!! that is, assuming we don’t finally cut back to U.A. at long last, which is actually a strong possibility considering that this chapter will likely mark the end of volume 31. it sure wouldn’t kill Horikoshi to start giving us some hope after everything he’s just put us through lol. KACCHAN COME GET YA BOY

[tennessoui]

Idk if you are still doing this. But 18 and 40?

i think you're my last one !!!

(all you need to know for this is that on monday i went to the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum and today i went to the Smithsonian museum of natural history)

18. Someone’s birthday + 40. “It’s just hard for me to forgive you after everything that’s happened.”

"You said you'd be polite," Padmé murmurs just loud enough for Anakin to hear. "Civil. I think your actual words were, 'Yeah of course, Padmé, I won't even look in his direction!'"

"This me being polite," her friend mumbles from next to her, scuffing the toe of his shoe against the lineloium of the floor.

"You glared at him so hard the second he came in that he didn't even approach me," Padmé points out, exasperated. "I'm the birthday girl! He came to see me!"

"You see each other all the time," Anakin defends gruffly, crossing his arms. "You work in the same building. Look even your exhibits are next to each other."

He gestures with a hand to the doors on the other side of the lobby. One reads Hall of Fossils--Deep Time. The other, straight ahead, reads Ocean Hall.

"First of all, you do know we don't actually work in those exhibits, right?" Padmé checks. "And second of all, with the new funding the Deep Ocean Exploration team has just gotten--"

Anakin cuts her off with an angry huff of derision. She hides her smile behind her glass of champagne as she takes a sip.

"Don't even get me started on that, Padmé. I don't understand at all how they chose deep ocean exploration over my team's proposal! I don't think I'll ever forgive him after everything that's happened now! You know we needed that funding! Our satellite designs are flawless! NASA approved, even! We could be out there now, exploring the galaxies! But Obi-Wan Kenobi says a few words about the fucking ocean and suddenly half the nation is putting on flippers and oxygen tanks?"

Padmé has to bite her lip to control her urge to burst out laughing at the angry, petulant expression on Anakin's face.

"I bet he slept with someone," Anakin mutters mutinously as Padme watches him watch Obi-Wan Kenobi move across the room, talking with party-guests and waitstaff interchangeably. The man, in an appropriately tailored and casual suit, throws his head back when he laughs at something someone says to him, and he pats her on the arm. Anakin's jaw flexes.

"I think it's quite telling that you think he's attractive enough to sleep his way into millions of dollars," she says, taking a sip of her champagne. "I can't think of a single fuck in my entire life worth that much money."

Anakin splutters and his face turns red. "That's not what I--" he gets out.

But Padmé has had enough of both of them pretending that they don't think the sun revolves around the other. As much as Anakin hasn't taken his eyes off of Obi-Wan since the man walked in, Obi-Wan has been shooting just as many surreptitious glances at Anakin when he thinks the blond-haired man is looking somewhere else.

It's been years of this. Two years exactly, actually, of Padmé in the middle of two men who are at each other's teeth professionally but can't seem to stay away from each other in their private lives. She's lost track of the amount of times the two of them have broken into deafening arguments over lunch or dinner or drinks because "We should be spending more resources on exploring space!" "Only 5% of the ocean has been explored!" "I can tell you what's down there! Fish!" "And I can tell you what's in space! Rocks!"

Padmé is, quite frankly, sick of it now. She'd like her life much more if her two friends could decide what exactly they wanted from each other. But no, they argue and hate each other when they're together, but she'll post a photo to her Instagram of her and Obi-Wan and a new intern, and Anakin will be texting her not even five minutes later, asking who that guy is and why he's holding Obi-Wan's waist in the photo. Or Anakin will publicly and loudly declare his intention to get back into the dating scene, and Padmé will spend the next two or so weeks fielding questions from Obi-Wan about if Anakin's found any space nerds to date, how those days may be going, if anyone's come back for seconds....

"You didn't let me finish," Padmé says quickly, when she catches Obi-Wan's eye and smiles at him, certain that this will get him to come over. "I was saying that with the new funding, Obi-Wan might not be working at the museum anymore."

Anakin freezes beside her. "What?" he breathes out.

"There's an open position in a research facility in Hawai'i. He's been tapped for it. I don't know really if he plans to accept yet..." she says leadingly, but it's pretty clear pretty quickly that Anakin isn't listening anymore.

"He never told me that," he says in a very small voice.

He sounds so unsure, hurt, that Padmé almost regrets what she's about to say. "Why would he?" she asks anyway. "You were just saying how you would never forgive him for winning the funding. This just be perfect for you. He leaves, you never have to see him again."

Anakin's eyebrows furrow and he looks confused. Hurt. Angry. The perfect expression for Obi-Wan's arrival in front of the pair of them.

"Padmé!" Obi-Wan smiles as he leans in and kisses her cheek. "Happy birthday! Amazing celebration, I cannot believe they allowed you to host it in the museum itself."

"Well, you only turn 35 once," she smiles at him.

Obi-Wan nods seriously with a teasing grin on his face. "Now you're old enough to run for president and everything."

She laughs. "Me? A head for politics? I'm not sure. But," she says slyly when it's very clear Anakin isn't going to say anything himself, too busy staring at the side of Obi-Wan's face with an intense, creepy sort of glare. "If anyone I know does, I think it'd be you. Ani and I were just talking about how they granted funding to your proposal the other day. Congratulations!"

"Thank you, thank you," Obi-Wan says graciously, but his smile has become fixed and his eyes dart over to Anakin.

Anakin, who decides to take this moment to figure out how to speak again. "When do you leave?" he asks in an angry, harsh tone. Padmé sighs to herself. She should have known a surprised and hurt Anakin turns to fury before he turns to acceptance, especially where Obi-Wan Kenobi is concerned.

"Pardon?" Obi-Wan asks politely, turning his body to face only Anakin. Padmé tries not to sigh again. She should be used to this, the way their eyesight narrows to only each other.

But on her birthday, really?

Anakin's jaw flexes as he gnashes his teeth together. There's nothing Ani hates more in the world than someone acting as if his question is a silly question.

That's not what Obi-Wan's doing of course, but Obi-Wan's done it enough in the past to rile Anakin up that Padmé can understand the confusion the astrophysicist is going through.

"To Hawai'i. Padmé said all your water money is gonna get you a fancy new position on the West Coast. Just wanted to know when you're going to go."

Padmé has half a mind to tell Obi-Wan that that is not, actually what she said, but Obi-Wan looks as if he wouldn't even realize she's spoken if she tried.

"Would you miss me?" the oceanologist murmurs, stepping closer to Anakin. "Were I to leave, would you miss me, Anakin?"

Anakin looks like a deer in the headlights for a second, before his face shuts down. "I wanna write it on my calendar, celebrate the day."

Obi-Wan's face flashes with something that leaves his eyes colder than before, and he steps back. Away. Padmé winces and tries to take a sip from her champagne glass before realizing it's empty.

"Well, that certainly makes things easier," he tells Anakin shortly before turning his full attention back to Padmé. "I meant to come over and say goodbye. It's a bit of walk home, and I have an early day tomorrow."

"But you just got here," Anakin sounds confused, as if he'd expected to keep Obi-Wan's attention for much longer.

Obi-Wan summarily ignores him and leans into kiss Padmé's cheek again. "Happy birthday again, Padmé," he tells her gripping her hand in both of his for a second before dropping it and turning back into the crowd.

"What was that?" Anakin says gruffly, crossing his arms. "Why'd he kiss you? He's leaving so early! And ignoring me! What?"

Padmé shakes her head and puts her hand on his arm. It looks like she's going to have to spell a few things out to her silly astrophysicist. "That was you fucking up," she says slowly.

Anakin scoffs. "What? No. We say that shit all the time to each other."

"Anakin, listen to me," she waits until his eyes are on hers and not trying to catch Obi-Wan's receding figure. "Today at lunch, he told me he hadn't decided if he was going to take the position yet. But I think he just did."

Anakin blinks at her. Men are stupid. These men especially.

"If you want him to stay, you have to tell him."

"Tell him--I...why do I--don't be ridiculous--"

"Anakin, I've known Obi-Wan for four years. The only thing he talked about the first two was the ocean. For the last two, it's been the ocean and you."

Anakin stares at her and then stares at the people around them. Padmé knows he's trying to find Obi-Wan in the crowd. "But...he's leaving."

"But he came here wearing a coat," she points out, giving him a little push towards the unmanned coat room.

"I--right," Anakin mumbles to himself.

Feeling like the best friend in the whole world, Padmé takes his champagne flute from him and pushes him harder forward. "Go get him, Ani," she encourages, but she gets the feeling Anakin isn't even listening to her anymore as he moves across the lobby to the coat room.

She watches just long enough to see Obi-Wan emerge from the room wearing his tan coat and Anakin pushing him furiously back inside. The door closes behind them, and Padmé hopes it comes with a lock.

But if it doesn't, that's their problem. She's done enough for one night.

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

I know it's been said before buy I just have to say I know the whole demetri and yasmine plot was just so that all the gay undertones of the rivalry and obsession and tension between Demtri and hawk could be easily overlooked

Lololol Anon you’re not even WRONG

Once they yeeted Moon out of the picture the writers were like “Oh shit, better No Homo it again!!!”

I guess in the writer’s (very feeble) defense, they DID set it up kinda, by having Demetri be like “Wow!!! I’d love to have Yasmine spit in my face!!!” and then very atrociously trying to hit on her at the beach party. But I thought his sorta-crush on her was just supposed to be like...comic relief??? Like “haha look at this nerdy guy being hot for this sexy popular chick he’ll never, ever get, isn’t it good memes???” I mean, him coming on to her at the party and just FAILING at every level was so incredibly funny BECAUSE of how much someone like her was just...never going to go for a dude like that in a million years. Like I thought that was the whole joke??? And Cobra Kai seems a bit more realism-leaning than some teen shows in how the teenagers actually act, so I figured from that angle it was gonna be the trope of “nerdy guy into hot popular bitchy girl” set up...but then, Reality Ensues, and she’s not only not remotely interested, but mildly to moderately disgusted at the idea. And that’s the comedy of it.

So yeah, after Season 1, I thought we were done with that whole arc, and it was literally just like...a joke “love” subplot to balance out the more serious relationship difficulties Miguel was having at the time. But now...Yasmine’s back, I guess??? And she apparently did a full 180 and is sorta nice now and went through a bunch of Character Development offscreen, none of which we got to see? So I GUESS her and Demetri were hinted to eventually become a thing, just like...very, very poorly. And in “hints” I assumed we were in no way meant to take seriously at all.

But yeah, the Yasmine/Demetri thing DOES seem kinda thrown in last-minute, given how finished that arc felt back in s1. And we only ever really get to see Yasmine when she’s interacting with Demetri, so it really feels like she was only brought back to be his love interest, which like...VERY weird flex, Cobra Kai writers, but okay :/

It IS incredibly sus how much time and energy Hawk and Demetri devote to their rivalry in particular, rather than like...idk, moving on with their lives??? Just ignoring each other and doing their own things, now that they are officially no longer bros and are in different friend circles, etc etc? Like they go OUT OF THEIR WAY to fuck with each other when they could just like...chill and move on. Like Demetri, a socially-awkward dude with limited people skills, works up the balls to get onstage and roast Hawk in front of an entire partyful of peers. Hawk SEARCHES THROUGH AN ENTIRE SCHOOL to hunt down Demetri at the school fight. Hawk goes up to Demetri on the first damn day back at school just to GLARE at him ominously (which I also just realized is RIGHT after some freshman girls give Demetri moony looks as they pass--jealous much???) Later on, Hawk coulda ignored Demetri and finished eating lunch with his Cool New Friends, but instead he goes out of his damn way to bust Demetri’s project and then come over and roast him about it. Demetri then eagerly goes over and reciprocates said roasting and spends that entire fucking soccer game tryna screw with Hawk in particular. They fricken almost IMMEDIATELY go for each other in the Golf N Stuff fight, IIRC. Really, they devote more time and energy to each other and their Rivalry™️ than either does to like...any other character? Like are Eli’s thoughts 90% “what’s the next thing I can do to fuck with Demetri?” Are Demetri’s thoughts 90% “what’s the next thing I can do to fuck with Eli?” Because like...I just don’t think obsessing over another man that much, even in a negative context...is very straight XD

There’s also the fact that their arcs are WAY more intertwined with each other’s than ANY girl either of them dates or interacts with. I mean ffs, Moon dumped Hawk BECAUSE of how he treated Demetri--even Hawk’s supposed Straight Romantic Subplot™️ ties directly back into Demetri! And the only reason Demetri joins Miyagi-Do at ALL and doesn’t just like...fade into the background in Season 2 is to show HAWK SPECIFICALLY that he can “fight back.” And later we have DEMETRI being the one to make Hawk realize he’s gone too far with Cobra Kai (i.e. his guilt after breaking Demetri’s arm) and ultimately being the catalyst that makes Hawk SWITCH SIDES! I honestly think every major point of development for both characters directly involves the other in some way--you could even argue Eli initially becomes “Hawk” in part because Demetri quits Cobra Kai, and isn’t around to stick up for him anymore--so he has to find another way to protect himself from bullying. Even their sense of “dojo rivalry” is mostly just about each other--Hawk’s animosity toward Miyagi-Do lowkey seems to stem almost entirely from Demetri in particular joining it and “betraying” him, while Demetri’s animosity toward Cobra Kai basically entirely comes from Cobra Kai taking Eli away from him. I literally like...cannot think of a single thing in either of their developments that doesn’t tie into the other in a major way. 

Like to put it plainly, Moon and Yasmine feel like a single step in each of the boys’ character journeys--a single turning point to spur them in a certain direction. But Demetri and Hawk just...ARE each other’s character journeys. They’re not a step for the other to discover something about themself or get pushed in a certain direction--they just ARE the entire arc for each other, if that makes any sense. Like you could argue BOTH Demetri and Eli/Hawk’s arcs like 90% center on how to navigate their relationship when Eli gains confidence and their interests diverge and they no longer need each other the way they used to. Like??? Name ONE aspect of either of their arcs that doesn’t tie directly into their undying gay love friendship in some way??? It’s INCREDIBLY integral to both their stories and is just...SO much more compelling to watch than either of them making out with hot girls at parties or in the hallway. And them repairing their relationship and/or evolving it as needed, realizing that they love each other too much to let one another go, even if they’re both somewhat different after everything??? And realizing it’s a romantic kinda undying love they’re feeling, because really, what good reason is there for it NOT to be??? We HAVE enough male characters in media already with strictly platonic/brotherly friendships, why not just let two male characters with a compelling story, a strong prior friendship, and REALLY good romantic chemistry just like...be gay??? It feels natural, it’s a good ending to their arc, it feels narratively satisfying in a “Finally having the ‘will they or won’t they’ couple get together” kinda way...why not do it??? It makes ALL the damn sense and would be incredibly thematically interesting and SATISFYING, but y’all writers are COWARDS DAMMIT

Just gonna make that crack ship from Season 1 canon so we can prove that Demetri isn’t gay, no sir??? No Homo my guy??? We can only have one (1) LGBT character per television show, or the “traditional values” viewers will come for us???

Pre Season 3 I honest to god was hoping that part of Demetri’s arc, if he ran into Yasmine again, would be him realizing that he could honestly do better than someone that bitchy and vile, and having enough self-respect to just...lose interest in someone who’s going to push him around, act like he’s beneath her, and talk smack about his friends the second she thinks they’re “lame.” Maybe it isn’t too late though, and we’ll see this in Season 4? Here’s to hoping, because I am going to THROW HANDS if this fricken pairing is ENDGAME endgame. Like...what even do these people have in common, besides getting wedgies??? Do they even have like...any of the same interests??? At all??? How are they going to build a lasting relationship off of...both having gotten a wedgie? And being mean to people sometimes, I guess?

Like, sure. Let them date for a bit--they’re horny teens, they’re prone to jumping into relationships for not exactly the most deep and meaningful reasons. Physical attraction, teenage horniness, and raging hormones are no joke. So sure, I can see them having a fling solely because they both think the other’s hot. But you wanna tell me they’d LAST??? No SIR, I must inform you I Do Not Buy it.

(Tfw you meant to do a short ask making memes about what a crackship Demetri/Yasmine was in Season 1 and you ended up having WAY too much to say about All The Things and now it’s 3 am and you’re typing like a madman. I probably cycled back across the same 5 points like 5 times each because it’s late and I’m not thinking straight, I apologize.)

[meet-me-in-the-pouringrain]

Good evening I’m currently crying about the Cullen Family dynamic I have concocted in my head.

- Carlisle and Jasper sitting down together to better educate their old asses on the social conducts / normalities today.

- Esme and Rosalie taking nature walks together and just talking. Mother - Daughter day. Sometimes, if she wants, Alice joins them.

- Emmett fully starting all out battles be it Nerf, snowball or water balloons early in the morning and all of them throw caution to the wind and join in. It usually ends in couple v couple with Edward off to the side in a huff until Bella joins and fuckin obliterates every single one of them.

- Jasper, Emmett and Edward (when he’s not being so annoying) embrace their brotherly relationship. They wrestle, argue, throw things and fight but it’s usually all in good fun. Until Eddie gets pissy then it’s real.

- Carlisle bonds with the kids when they are turned and makes it a point to do it as often as he can after. With Bella, he sits and discusses Literature for hours, with Alice they discuss her visions and he helps her delve into her past, Emmett (don’t tell Esme) he helps him Scheme, Jasper ^^^^, Edward they barely talk now that Bella is in the picture but when they do they could be up there for hours talking about whatever. He tried with Rosalie but she scares him.

- Esme makes it a point to spend time with the kids too. She and Emmett discuss their farm lives and debate over easier methods, Alice tries to style her differently every summer, Bella and her cook, Jasper usually prattles on for hours about horses and whatnot and Esme smiles patiently unwilling to tell him her farm was a vegetable one and not animal. Sometimes he just wants to be near her because she had the Best Vibes , Rose and her bond over their trauma at first but it slowly morphs into idle chatter about nothing. Edward, in my head, clings onto Esme more than anyone thinks because she reminds him of Elizabeth and usually is just around her while Esme is busting herself with design or painting.

- They honour Esme’s Jewish heritage along with Carlisle’s Anglican beliefs every December and have a mix of the two holidays. Rosalie, Bella and Alice spends hours every November making a menorah for Esme from scratch whereas Emmett, Jasper and Edward tackle the Christmas decorations. Emmett is on light duty. Alice spends hundreds of dollars buying matching clothes and pyjamas for all the Cullens.

- Esme and Bella spends hours in the kitchen whipping up Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner for the pack. Esme also makes various meals for Bella to take to Charlie while they still lived in forks.

- Whenever Carlisle decides to scold one of the children for one stupid stunt or other someone is guaranteed to bite back “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned”

- Emmett calls Esme “Momma” and Carlisle “Pops”. He’s the only one who refers to them that way. But Renesmee called them Nana and Poppy.

- She has nicknames for everyone. Rose is Rosey, Jasper is Jassy, Alice is Alley Cat (Alice thought of it herself and was so proud she tried to get every one to use it. Nobody does) Emmett is Emmy. Bella is simply Mom and Edward is Dad.

- Edward is fucking nice to Rosalie in my head and they have a tradition every December to personalise baubles for the other. 2008 had Rosalie make “Listen to Rosalie next time” whereas Edward made one that stated “you were right”

- Fun Fact! Vampires can smoke weed and drink alcohol in my head. Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper definitely were/ probably still are smokers. Alice claims it helps her ignore visions when she doesn't feel up to it, Jasper says it helps ignore the emotions emitted by everyone. As soon as he heard that, Edward jumped on the bandwagon and immediately regretted it.

- They can also drink. One bottle of alchohol and they’re all bladdered. The venom sobers them up quickly but hell if Emmett doesn’t make it hard.

- Jasper and Emmett started a weed farm and did in fact start dealing at their school. Once Esme caught wind, however, all hell broke loose because. "You're hundreds of years old Jasper, you should know better!" "What about Emmett" "HE'S EMMETT"

- The Cullens are forced once a month by Esme to have a game night. Not monopoly though, she's still mad over the fact they had to move from Boston because Rose threw Jasper out of the window.

- Alice in retaliation makes them all have a movie night once a month. Once they had a vampire marathon. They put on Dracula, Interview with a vampire, Hotel Transylvania for Nessie and finally They binged Buffy the Vampire slayer. After the first five episodes, Carlisle almost spontaneously combusts and Edward convinces himself that somehow Angel was modelled after him. Bella threw the TV out of the window.

- Renesmee once suggested a huge game of hide n seek. Her and Jacob (who did NOT FUXKING IMPRINT THANK YOU) were the seekers. She found Carlisle and Esme after a few minutes, her parents after 10, Rosalie an hour later, Alice they didn’t find for a week, Jasper was about two weeks and they still hadn’t found Emmett after a month. He convinced Seth to go with him so Alice couldn’t cheat and they each phone at least once a day. He just giggles and hangs up.

- Rose eventually snaps and she and Leah (look I feel she’d get along best with Rose idk why) head out to find him. She comes back a day later with a sheepish and petulant Emmett behind her.

- Edward has written piano pieces for every woman in the coven. Esme actually has about 20 because Edward’s indecisive ass couldn’t sit still when it was the three of them but she’s memorised them all and hums a tune or two when she’s painting. Rose has 5 because he found his music calmed her in the early days, Alice has two and Bella + Nessie have just the one. Edward cries daily about it.

- Emmett was the one who instigated Mothers/Fathers day. He asked Rose and EmoFuck one day what they did for them and Edward had a panic attack while Rose zoomed out the house to go get Esme a bunch of flowers. They celebrated it ever since.

- Bella + Alice + Emmett blasting “Am I a Man or am I a Muppet” on repeat both out loud and in their heads just to fuck with Edward.

- When hunting, Esme has a tendency to climb a tree and just sit and wait for her husband to walk past. As soon as he’s in her eyesight she ‘falls’ onto him/next to him. She fake breaks her leg and he reverts into Doctor Cullen. The coven in absolutely mortified by this and the two love it. They embrace their embarrassing parents act willingly.

- The Cullens have a naughty corner. The two most frequent users are the Choas triplets; Alice, Emmett and Bella. Carlisle has been put in the corner multiple by Esme for his own stunts- such as turning Rosalie for Edward- and once Esme was put in the corner by Carlisle. They won’t disclose what she did but the next time they were all together in town, a group of Drag Queens came up to Esme and asked where she got her body glitter from.

- The Cullens learning from their past mistakes with the Werewolves and being godsends to the communities they live in. Esme baking and cooking food and donating the lot of it, Rosalie helping out at preschools and kindergartens and being called “Miss Rosie” by half the kids, Bella tutoring students in English, Alice donating clothes to women’s shelters, Edward giving music lessons, Carlisle donating money to those in need. Emmett being that guy who protects all the women from creeps, Jasper helping the quiet kids out with confidence boosts, Renesmee just being an all round kind person and the one who can make friends anywhere.

- When they leave Forks for the last Time, Carlisle donates a huge check to the Tribe with a letter giving gratitude and apologising for everything. Billy cried and Sue had to take the cheque and spread it amongst the tribe.

- Jacob continued phasing for the next 20 years, he regularly takes trips to wherever the Cullens are living to visit Bella and Ness. Whenever it happens, Alice buys him a whole suitcase full of shorts and jeans, Esme bounces of the walls in excitement, Emmett loses his shit and Bella is insufferable but they don’t seen Rosalie or Edward of a day for however long he stays. He eventually stops phasing when Billy passes.

[rhysismydaddy]

Naughty Neighbors pt. 4 (Elriel)

I’m thinking there’s going to be two/three more parts to this. I know it’s longer than what I usually put out, but I did mention it’s a slow burn, so... Idk. I really like it and want to keep writing it. 

DRUNK NOTE: thank god I wrote this earlier because i’m too far gone to do much editing hahah sorry if there’s errors also sorry it’s short

__________________________________________________________

~Elain~

For exactly three horrible seconds of Elain’s life, he doesn’t move. He doesn’t so much as breathe as she stands there, holding him to her, mouth pressed against his. 

It’s absolutely horrifying. 

But then he pulls back just enough to murmur, “Holy fuck, Elain.”

And then he kisses her. 

Walking forward, he presses her against the wall, sheltering her with his body and caging her in. 

She’s quickly becoming addicted to the way his chest is pressed against hers, hard muscle dragging against her now-heavy breasts in a way that makes her pant. 

But that’s nothing compared to the addiction she was forming for how he kissed her. 

It’s deep and heavy and so seductive her knees go a bit weak. He--Azriel--seems to notice and slides a knee in between her legs, which helps keep her upright but does absolutely no favors for the growing ache at the apex of her thighs. 

Gods above.

Elain shoves her hands in his hair to keep him close to her, and his go to her hips, then slide around to her backside, then run across her waist. He’s everywhere, hands and body surveying every inch of her, but his mouth moves consistently slow against hers. 

She feels like he can’t get enough of her, like she's driving him crazy. And she fucking loves it, because she’s never felt like this before. 

Never... been kissed like this before. 

He moves to her neck, then down to the top of her breasts. “Azriel,” she moans. Or maybe begs. 

His head snaps up, eyes meeting hers instantly. His usual honey and moss colored eyes are dark, lined with urgency and desire and maybe just a little crazy. “That’s going to be the fucking death of me.”

Before she can analyze that, they’re kissing again, and Elain can’t stop herself from running her hands over his chest and abs, then pulling him even closer. 

Azriel presses his hips into hers, and she gasps into his mouth, making him smile. She reaches behind her to open the door and take him inside, but he stops her with a hand on her wrist. 

“Elain.”

Still a little breathless, she whispers, “What?”

Taking a healthy step away from her, he shakes his head and says, “We can’t... I’m not going in there.”

“What?” she repeats, beyond confused. She’d thought he’d wanted to... and his body had definitely wanted to...

“I’m not taking you to bed while you belong to another man, Elain.”

“I don’t belong to anyone.”

“Maybe not your body,” he agrees, placing a wide hand on her chest, right above her heart. “But I want this to be mine. And you’re going to give it to me.”

Her mouth is open, probably grazing the floor, but she just stares at him in disbelief. Azriel smiles softly, runs a thumb over her bottom lip, then kisses her cheek. “Goodnight, Elain.”

Then he turns and goes inside his apartment, the door shutting between them with a deafeningly quiet click. 

~Azriel~

Yeah, I’m one dumb motherfucker. 

I had the girl I’d been pathetically pining for finally kissing me, finally admitting she wants me, and I told her I wasn’t going to have sex with her. 

And where does that leave me? With a fucking painful erection and the urge to put my fist through a wall. 

I head straight for the bathroom and turn the shower to the coldest setting possible. But even as the ice water runs over me, my blood continues to thrum. 

Good gods, I want to kiss her again. 

I want to kiss her all the time. 

Her full mouth fits mine perfectly, and the way she kissed me... no cold shower is going to get me to forget that. Not to even mention the way her body felt under my hands, the soft curves practically begging to be touched. 

Shoving my head against the tile, I try to ignore all that. But it doesn’t do an ounce of good, because then I think about the way she said my name. 

It was so natural for her, even though she’d learned it ten minutes before. She’d said it like it was everything to her, like a precious gift she’d never return. 

By the time I cut the shower off and flop in bed, I’m exhausted, so when the phone rings, I ignore it and shut my eyes. But it rings again, and I see that it’s Mor, so I answer. “What?”

“Wow, thank you for that heart-warming greeting,” she teases. “Bad night?”

“No, I’m just-” thinking about Elain and don’t want to talk to you at the moment, “tired.”

Thing about Mor is, she can always tell when I’m lying.

“Something happened! What happened?” 

“She kissed me,” I tell my best friend, smile on my face. 

Mor howls on the other end of the line, making me laugh. “I told you making her jealous would work!”

“Yeah, yeah, you were right. It worked. She wanted to...” Cursing, I cut myself off. She doesn’t need to know everything. 

She, apparently, doesn’t hold that belief. “And did you?” 

“No, we didn’t. I want her... I want her to love me first, Mor.”

She’s quiet for a few moments, but then she says softly, “You really like her, huh?” I stay quiet, but it’s answer enough. “Then make her fall in love with you.”

“Oh, I plan on it,” I chuckle, because it’s true. Now that I know what I’m missing, I don’t want to waste another minute without it. “But I have to be well-rested to trick fair maidens into loving me, so goodnight. Love you.”

“Love you too, stupid.”

I hang up and stare at the ceiling, still smiling like an idiot. 

My very helpful brain thinks about Elain on the other side of that wall, lying in bed doing the same thing, thinking about me. 

I tell it to shut up and go to sleep, but the stupid bastard doesn’t listen. 

The last thing I think before finally falling asleep is that I can’t fucking wait to see Elain tomorrow. 

~

Elain doesn’t go to work all week. 

I know because it’s Friday, and I’ve been by the store every single day since Monday. Some girl named Christine has been there, and she gives me a weird look every time she notices me peeking in. 

Honestly, I don’t get it. 

Last time she tried to avoid me, she was embarrassed and knew I’d tease her. This time... I didn’t do anything wrong, right?

Maybe she’s sick. 

Or maybe she just feels guilty. That’s probably it. I haven’t heard the boyfriend come around this week, and she’s not the kind of girl to dump someone over the phone. So maybe she’s waiting until she sees him and ends things to see me. 

The thought makes me smile, drawing a raised eyebrow from the guy I’m currently tattooing. 

“You look like you’re thinking about a girl,” the old biker-looking man remarks with a gruff. I can’t help but grin and shrug and he sighs. “Just don’t fuck up my tattoo.”

I nod and focus, shoving all thoughts of Elain into a small box in the corner of my mind. 

But the damn box won’t stay closed, and by the time I leave work that night, I don’t care if she’s trying to do the right thing and avoid me. I have to see her. 

Even if nothing happens, I have to see her. 

The week’s been boring without her soft smiles and cute little dresses, and I want to hear what she’s been up to, cooped up in that apartment. 

I practically run up the stairs and down the hall to her door, already smiling as I knock. It takes a few minutes for the door to open, but when it does, the smile falls away and takes every last drop of happiness with it. 

She looks awful. 

I mean, she’s always beautiful, but she looks like she hasn’t slept or eaten since I last saw her. Her hairs a dirty mess, she’s in a raggedy sweatshirt and sweatpants, and there’s dark circles under her big brown eyes. 

Eyes that don’t hold an ounce of happiness to see me. “What do you want?”

The question throws me, but I answer honestly. “I wanted to see you. Are you alright?”

Elain doesn’t answer, just stands there for a minute. Then she says, “Leave me alone.”

The door swings towards me, but I jut a hand out and stop it from closing. “What’s wrong? Did I do something?”

Because like Mor’s told me for years, it’s always the man’s fault. Even when it isn’t the man’s fault, it’s the man’s fault. 

Whatever it is, I’ll apologize and smile and tease her until she’s smiling, too.

“Did you do something?” she repeats in a small voice, eyes going a bit misty. 

The sight hits me hard, and I take a step forward, but she shoots out a hand and shoves me back. “Stay the fuck away from me.”

If it wasn’t the unusual curse that stops me dead in my tracks, it’d be the way her voice sounded as she said it. None of the usual warmth, no soft laughter. 

She sounds... she sounds like she hates me. And I can’t take it. “Elain, what the hell did I do?”

~Elain~

Is he serious? What did I do? 

The genuine confusion on his face makes the carefully-crafted dam she’s been building around herself burst. “What was this to you? Some sort of sick game?”

“What are you-”

“You tried your goddamn best to drive me crazy, and like a complete idiot, I let you! How stupid could I have been...” She looks up at the ceiling as if that will give her the strength to face him, to say the words. “To think you wanted me.” 

His eyes go wide, and she lets out a humorless laugh. “Elain-”

But there’s no going back now, and there’s no stopping the words from coming out.

“Oh, save the bullshit. You got what you wanted. You proved I’m a horrible girlfriend and an even worse human being, so just leave me alone.”

Before he can respond, she demands, “And what was that crap about wanting my heart? You’re a pathological liar. It’s just not enough for me to cheat on Lucien with you, is it? You want me to fall in love with you.”

His jaw is tight, hands bunched into fists, but he stays silent. 

Tears are streaming down her face, but she forces herself to glare and say, “That will never happen. I’m not stupid enough to love you.”

She slams the door in his face, then drops to the floor to cry. Pressing a hand to her chest, she tries hopelessly to ignore the voice in her head telling her if that were true, this wouldn’t hurt so damn much. 

____________________________________________________________

Uh, can I just say right now that I’m sorry? Hang in there. I TOLD YOU IT’S A SLOW BURN. Part 5

@bamchickawowow @astreia-oniria @keshavomit @elrielllll @januarystears @zukos-simp @whimsyrhys @lameomclameo @wineywitch202 @thedarkdemigod @captainthefangirlofhp @elriel4life @queen-of-glass @courtofjurdan @nessiantho @texas-shaped-waffle-maker @stardelia @myshadowsingeraz @tswaney17 @illyriangarbage @nicerhero @fancycrowncat @sjmships @poisonous00 @perseusannabeth @cursebreaker29 @girl-who-reads-the-books @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @rowanisahunk @superspiritfestival @studyliketate @over300books @justgiu12 @maastrash @a-bit-of-a-cactus @aesthetics-11 @b00kworm @sleeping-and-books @musicmaam @savemesoon8 @hizqueen4life @maybekindasortaace

[extremelyblackandwhite]

the unseen one - 22

Pairing: Hades!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: smut

A/N: i’m so sorry this took so long to come out, i got very confused and blocked in my own writing? idk, big writer block with this one so i decided to go watch some mythology documentaries and read some books to get the creative vibes flowing and this is what came out of it. 

Next Chapter >>

To say that Bucky was mad at her was the understatement of the year. No, the understatement of the century and it was driving Y/N crazy. She hated to see Bucky mad because he simply never looked it, he never exploded or screamed at her, he’d just excuse himself and be away from her with the look of utter disappointment.However, in normal circumstances, he’d return to her side and only discuss out how he was feeling. Today was not one of those days. 

She had arrived from the Elysium with Psyche around sunset, and he wasn’t home or in his office. No candles were light, and there was no smell of smoke either which suggested he hadn’t been home in a long time and despite Psyche offering up to help her look for Bucky feeling guilty over it, Y/N just sent her home back to her husband. 

Hours passed, and she was sat in the living room expecting his arrival, but after he didn’t come home, Y/N decided to go to bed. What a terrible, terrible decision as once she laid down, every single thing came rushing to her. She felt awful for maybe not discussing it with him about going to the dinner, but at the same time, she didn’t want Psyche to get any more impossible labours at the hand of Aphrodite. After turning around at least a couple hundred thousand times, she raised her torso, magically expecting him to be back so she could apologise. He, however, wasn’t, and for the very first time, she found it more soothing not to be in bed. 

Carefully, she tiptoed to the kitchen, turning the kettle on and resting her chin against her hands as she heard the water boil. After stem filled the room, she placed a tea bag on one of James’ pristine white cups and added some water, opening the windows of the kitchen to hear the sound of restless sounds which sounded way better than the sound of her overthinking mind. What she wasn’t expecting was to see James sat by the river Styx’s shores, smoke coming from around his figure. Intending to fix whatever she had done, she stepped out of the house, ignoring how cold the meadows were during the pure black night and walked up to Bucky. He was smoking, something she didn’t know he did and in normal circumstances, she would complain about it, but since he was immortal, she guessed it couldn’t kill him.

 - Thought you’d be sleeping by now. - he took the liberty of speaking first as she sat on the shore by his side. - A bit late for you to be up. 

- I was worried about you. - Y/N tapped her fingers against the ground, slowly reaching towards his to test him. When he didn’t push her finger again, she wrapped her pinky around his. - I’m sorry that I said yes to Psyche, I didn’t know you’d be so against it. I just, I just wanted to help her. Don’t be mad at me. 

- I’m not mad at you, sunflower. - he puffed out the smoke that had been in his lungs for longer than it should’ve had, putting the bud off. - I just had a particularly lousy conversation with Hecate. Not feeling particularly useful about it. 

- I’m sorry. - Y/N leaned her head against his shoulder, the rest of her fingers interlacing it with his. - Penny for your thoughts? Maybe it can make you feel better? 

- I don’t think even you can fix it, sunflower. I’m afraid this time Hecate has a relatively stable point. 

- Tell me. - she looked at him with the warmest look someone could’ve ever given. He guessed that one way or another she was going to find out, she was a smart girl, and word travelled fast in the Olympus. 

- You don’t need to, and I just thought that maybe ... - It’s complicated, but I guess I can start by answering who the man next to me in the photo by the dining room is. - he sighed. - His name is Steve Rogers. 

The name rang a bell on her head. Where had she heard that name? Y/N was sure she had heard that name until it hit her. She knew him, well, at least she knew who he was. He had seen his picture in the Smithsonian museum; he was Captain America. Why was Bucky friends with Captain America? Did Captain America roll with the god of the Underworld for fun because if so, it made sense why he was so skilled at avoiding death. 

- You’re friends with Captain America, and you never mentioned it to me? - she chuckled, expecting him to do so, but instead, he kept his worried face. - Is that it? 

- Steve’s dead, he’s here, and he doesn’t remember me. I had to approve it when he entered the Elysium, sometimes I see him, and he doesn’t know me. I thought there was nothing worse than that, but then Hecate pointed out that’s the same that’s going to happen to you. They’re not going to allow you into the Elysium, you’ll be here in the Meadows, restless, and you won’t know who I am. 

- James. - she cupped his face, leaning her forehead against his. - You told me we’d figure it out, so let’s just stick by that. Besides, what does Hecate know about mortals? 

- You’re too lovely, Y/N. - Bucky kissed the top of her nose. - Even though you’ve cursed us to dinner with the Pantheon’s couples. 

- It can’t be that bad. - she raised from her sitting position, hands still holding his. - We should go to bed. James. It can’t possibly be right for you to stay up all day and night. 

- It’s cute you think anything could cause me any harm. - he followed her, hand still connected to hers feeling that constant warmth that always seemed to irradiate from her palm, hair messy from getting up from the bed and a robe wrapped around her. 

- There’s gotta be something that can harm even a god, James. No one is safe from harm. - she argued, entering their shared residence, the cup of tea cold and now laying on the dark marble of his kitchen counter. He raised his eyebrow at her statement, eyes moving from her calm yet argumentative complexion to her hand connected to his. 

She was right, there was indeed something that could bring any harm to him, preferably someone who could bring any damage to the god of the Dead and that someone was holding his hand, the same hand who’d killed many before and the same hand that had signed off the death of more. She quickly seemed not to care, or maybe be slightly unimpressed by his job. 

- You have to stop staring at me like that. - Maybe stop looking like that and then I’ll stop staring at you. - he let go of her hands to place both his palms on her waist, slowly but surely pushing her against his chest. 

- I’ll try not to disappear as much, sunflower. 

- I’ll try not to say yes to everything in return. - she relished into him, head tucked comfortably into his chest whose cold nature never seemed to bother her. - We should go to bed. 

- Maybe we should. - his head leaned onto her uncovered shoulder, leaving a series of kisses where her bra strap mark was. James took her head in his large calloused hands, cupping her cheeks and moving her slowly into their bedroom upstairs, which felt more like stepping into clouds and gradually ascending to the heavens. 

His tongue is velvet, warm and somewhat sharp, and it slips in between her lips with ease. His kiss is sickening sweet, almost like kissing someone who had just drank a can of soda. It’s so filthy, so inexplicably right and yet wrong what they were doing and even wronger still was the way he held her throat and chin. A firm hand wrapped around gently around her gentle neck, the tips of his calloused, scarred fingers brushing against it while his thumb held her chin up, just under it, holding it up for better access with a grip only the god of the Death could possess. Y/N fluttered her eyes open to stare at him, finding his narrowed and half-closed blue eyes staring down at her, dirty with lust and desire. 

- When I said we should go to bed, I meant we should go and sleep. - she whispered against his mouth, making him chuckle. James stopped kissing her, choosing to peck her skin instead while his hands slid down to her robes to pull them away from her body. 

- I thought this would be more up to your liking. - he took her earlobe in his mouth while he quickly slipped his hands to her chest, kneading and caressing her soft breasts in his cold hands, earning a moan from her.

 The difference in skin temperature complimented each other so well. She could feel the roughness of his hands against her soft and silky skin making her moan just with the contact of their skins together and as if by a blessing from the Gods themselves, she felt his tongue and lips drift from her neck to her chest as he grabbed her thighs and propelled her up to wrap her legs tightly around his waist to be closer to him. Y/N could feel his large manhood pressed tightly against his underwear, and the mere feeling of his cock pressed up to the middle of her legs so tightly and warm made her wet. 

She hadn’t realised how needy she was, the friction in between her legs not being able to compensate for the stimulation he was giving her. His lips and tongue worked wonders on her skin, sucking and nibbling and kissing every inch of beautiful silky skin he could put his mouth on and, once he was finished, she was marked so beautifully by him. Not that Bucky minded that a whole lot, maybe he wanted her to be marked by him at that stupid dinner. 

- I can’t wait to feel you throbbing around me, sunflower. I can’t wait to feel you tighten around my thick cock as you scream from the top of your lungs, crying loudly and begging me to make you cum. It’s been so long, sunflower. So long. 

She could feel her clit aching, thighs trembling and folds drenched so desperate to be taken by him, legs spread as wide as she could ready to let him use her like he wanted to and enjoyed to. He laid her down in their bed and lodged himself in the middle of her legs, hands on either side of her hips, slowly grinding against her. 

- Stop teasing. - she whined. He hummed, undressing in front of her until he’s completely naked like so many times that she had seen him so but, this time, it felt better and right. Y/N felt like this was even better than the previous time they had had been intimate, and when she feels the tip of his shaft slowly enter her, her back rose from the mattress as if she had been possessed. 

Somehow, it felt better to do it in no man’s land.

tag list: @philogrobizedvee​​​​​​  @keithseabrook27​​​​​ @inlovewith3​​​​19 @nwbstan

[cloveroctobers]

IBRAHIM JARVIS —

IG info/bio: @/OFFICIALRAHIMJARVIS | 130k followers | pro🏌🏿, & yes i was on that dating show...don’t obsess over other people, obsess over water, stay hydrated friends!

22 (23) years old

From Birmingham, England

Pisces sun? + Virgo moon + Cancer rising

Parents are both Afro-Antiguan and Barbudans + migrated to The UK once they were pregnant with their first child

They’ve been married for over 20 years

He gets his height from both of his parents

His mother keeps her hair buzzed short, cooks the best Antiguan food + loves creole seasoning, she’s 5’11, & works as a bank teller

His father is 6’5, works as a substance a*use counselor & does not believe in tough love as a way of showing you care about your children. He learned that the hard way growing up

Ibrahim is a pro golfer & dislikes tiger woods, “he’s a proper arsehole, typical American yeah?”

Got into the craft thanks to his maternal grandfather who was also into golf along with other sports & taught him all he needed to know. At first Ibrahim didn’t like it, found it rather boring & would rather stick to video gaming but his grandfather wanted to break his grandchildren out of staying in the house all the time

It kept him fit and also relieved any anxiety Ibrahim had in life and he had a good amount

He’s got an incredible swing, thanks to his long arms

He’s 6’3

Has three older brothers: Jesse (27) , Keithroy (25), and Reuben (24)

He loves working out and spotting other people, feels likes it’s a team effort & he’s a team player

Drinks gallons of water on a daily and nothing else, it’s even better if he puts fruit in it

Always eating fruit, for breakfast/with or after his dinner. Rather eat fruits than vegetables...yes he’s an adult but he can’t stand broccoli or radishes

Canon: hates seeing other people test their fruit to see if it’s ripe or not. But it’s fine when he does it himself, he just thinks about all the germs that are on other peoples hands when they’re doing so; it physically makes him sick & irritated if he ends up touching the fruit that’s mushy/lumpy

He’s a big fan of comics. Always has been since he’s a kid and has a huge collection of them, his oldest ones are packed away in a couple of crates (in his loft room that he uses as a extra storage room) since he no longer has space in his room. Yes he has no shame (and shouldn’t) of having them on display even tho his oldest brothers clown him for it

Massive fan of black panther & was hyped when it first came to theaters. Saw it three times in one day

Was heartbroken when Chadwick Boseman p*ssed

He’s awkward at expressing himself & sometimes it makes him feel misunderstood & it’s frustrating

Hates people that come up with these ideas of him instead of allowing him to collect his thoughts and speak them the right way

Yet he can be the type of person that wants to ignore issues and hope they go away

He wishes people had enough patience like he did with others in the world

He seeks advice from his dad, since he’s a counselor & everything yet it’s slightly different?

Can be a sweetie & very romantic in relationships

Will do the most (he won’t see it that way) & drop $ on you if he wants to...buying things, trying & failing to DIY, doing wealthy ppl shit, expensive trips— canon: taking his girl to Spain? Was it? Or Italy? I don’t remember... the whole 9

Had 1 gf before the villa. He broke up with her for being too flashy with his things & found that she wouldn’t have liked him if he didn’t have a bit of money

His parents live with him. “They’re basically my roommates until or if they find a house they like.” He didn’t go overboard once he got his first paycheck, he didn’t need a mansion but he did go big enough, industrial style but homey with some minor modern touches for his dream home—he didn’t want it to feel cold or penthouse-like

Isn’t too flashy on the socials but will post something every now & then if he feels the need to show it

Doesn’t post much of his face, mostly what he’s doing in the moment...lots of golfing pics!

Dresses like a dad but it works for him. Loves a good snug polo & plaid trousers/regular that are cut above the ankle, “those are highwaters innit?!” “No mum, it’s the style.” Rolled up jeans, tall white socks & some patterned, baggy sweaters, fancy hats, picks oxfords over sneakers, etc...

Definitely takes the time to iron/steam/press his underwear & socks

Enjoys getting his hair braided, isn’t tender-headed at all (must be nice)

Only grows his hair out during the fall/winter seasons or cuts/gets a shape up

When he posts about his tournaments or time at the golf course, he can always count on Bobby to comment the usual... @/returnofdamckenzie: do you ever have moments where you Reenact troy bolton on the lovely green grass? @/officialrahimjarvis: Idk whether to block u or have a laugh mate, yes i had to look him up!

Dated Jo for about 5 months after the villa until she broke up with him, finding that their lifestyles were too hectic for them to continue, at least that was her public statement to the fans but they really grew apart & the “love” was no longer there

Ibrahim seemed to be more upset about it than Jo in the beginning resulting in snappy replies for awhile, which again stems from him not knowing how to express himself

She checked up on him A LOT, almost as if they never broke up but Ibrahim felt like he needed his space now. They talked it out the best they could over dinner and got closure but that didn’t mean it didn’t sting. He just didn’t think it was needed to be calling each other everyday to see how they were both holding up. If they were done, then that’s what they should be

Jo didn’t see it that way. She still cared for Ibrahim, that didn’t mean that they had to stop talking in her view. She wanted to know how he was coping, and was known for “sticking her foot in her mouth” so that was also a flaw in their relationship

She would say certain things that touched on how she was feeling but didn’t express them at the right times & then there was Ibrahim who didn’t know HOW to say the things he felt which left jo to assume things

Ibrahim was back to the single life and he hated it. He wanted someone he could come back home to, someone that wanted to be with him for the long run. A part of him feels like Jo wasn’t planning to be with him for the long run in the first place and in a way that was okay? Sometimes you don’t know where you’re going in relationships but there should be some sort of goal? Maybe? At least that’s what he thought. Yeah they had fun but he wanted more someday

He was still young he didn’t need to be hung up about it right? Sike. He didn’t know how to take things lightly. That wasn’t how he was built. And to get comments about his ex relationship and have fans dragging him about his choices in the villa A YEAR later!!! Was disheartening

Shannon seemed to be doing well. He thought they would still be friends, at least that’s what she showed before she left the villa. Before he got her dumped. They talked a couple of times since then, jo personally wasn’t a fan of that—Shannon didn’t care but it was clear there was some tension still there

Until he contacted her just to realize she probably had his number blocked but her IG was public and she had a new man & was traveling about

His dad and Reuben were the only ones rooting for them

He had no choice but to be happy for her. Who was he to come in between that? Not that he wanted to but it’s a natural reaction to wonder after a fresh breakup, “what if?”

Talks to Priya every so often now. He seems to find comfort in her, it’s the same for her on her end

His mother has a feeling Priya is the one her son will end up with. Even if she is older...Keithroy also liked her the best

While Jesse seemed to be the only one who supported his relationship with jo

I honestly thought he would have liked Hannah in the beginning but idk if it was him or Gary that said she was too unrealistic when it came to love? I think they both said something along those lines which is odd since it seems Ibrahim has no problem treating his girl like a princess

Probably only has one special dish that he can cook the best & it’s gumbo. otherwise hes out of the kitchen or having his personal chef cook for the family

Goes live on twitch—when he has time, playing many games with the boys from the villa, which pleases the fans

Talks to them all as much as he can

Noah seems to be the first to always text back since Bobby is the one who’ll start off responding in minutes then forget to text back cause he’s off doing handstands or booping people on the nose or some shit, Gary always ends up busy doing something with his nan or for Lottie—but Noah’s always around

They seem to be the closest outside the villa, they mesh well & hang out the most when they can

he likes having his sound on & LOUD when he texts! There’s something so satisfying about hearing the clicking of texting to him

Watches a lot of sports on the Telly, it doesn’t have to be just golf. Usually watching that sport sends him right to sleep while the others keep him active/vocal...yes he’s a tv yeller

Holds sports parties at his home & invites all of his family & mates, he HATES having to clean up afterwards. If it wasn’t for his mum he would save the cleaning until the next day yet he doesn’t mind cleaning his car twice a week

Continues to make his violet man drink & wouldn’t be opposed to someone giving him a endorsement deal for it

Is the “I love everybody!” Drunk

Enjoys yard work over cleaning the house

Has his own customized golf cart that he keeps in his garage

He likes driving that more than his Buick suv tbh

Wants kids some day, not too many, not too little just right— he’ll probably have two but for rn his Doberman pinscher is his bby

Either ends up with Priya with slight insecurities that she’s too good for him or he falls in love with a tennis player, either way I’m fine with both

Crushes/his type? : Jojo Levesque, SERENA WILLIAMS, China McClain, Brie Larson, Victoria Pedretti, Nathalie Emmanuel, & Keke Palmer

Listens to: Aminé, Big Sean, Frank Ocean, Brent Faiyaz, Pink $weats, B Young, Ali Gatie, Russ, Raveena, Jessie Reyez, Rayana Jay, Cosima, TianaMajor9 etc...

Anthem = Lucky Daye, “Buying Time”

[kaleidoscopeminds]

HELLO MEG this'll be my first ask since my muke ones SKXJSDHHB anyways I am here to (respectfully) ask u if u will write "a hoarse whisper of kiss me" from the list u reblogged with either muke or mashton or honestly anyone I don't really care and (respectfully) ask u to sprinkle in a little bit of angst bc idk if I've mentioned this but I'm a slut for angst anyways I love you have a wonderful night xoxo iba

hello iba my love!!!! well since you are in fact my muke anon i actually wrote some muke for you??? bizarre i don’t know who i am anymore but hello this is fwb but non-explicit muke w a sprinkling of angst and also the other kiss prompt you liked <3

It's been three weeks. Three weeks since they stopped this. Or that Luke supposes it is now. Whatever it or that was. 

Three weeks of fighting the natural response to slip into Michael’s hotel room when he can’t sleep, under the pretence of looking for company but actually just craving Michael. Three weeks since he’s had the feeling of Michael’s lips pressing against his, tongue slipping between and searching his mouth in an intoxicatingly familiar way. Three weeks since Luke last found himself underneath him.

But really what was three weeks in comparison to four years of stumbling into each other’s rooms or bunks when drunk or bored or just needing someone. It was the pattern of things. Until it wasn’t.

Luke groans frustratedly and rolls out of bed. He tries to remember where he is in the world right now but he hasn’t got a clue, can’t remember the name of the hotel, what city he shouted into the microphone not 5 hours ago. He blinks blearily at the digital clock flashing obnoxiously at him from the other side of the bed, 3:23AM it reads. He got back a couple of hours ago, drunk but not quite as drunk as he wanted to be. He hadn’t even wanted to really go out in the first place, Michael having already slipped away to the hotel before he could catch him, but Calum had tugged his arm, pressed a bottle of something into Luke’s hand and Luke had gone along because that’s what he does, and fuck knows he needed the distraction, even for a couple of hours. 

Being out hadn’t really been a distraction though, thoughts of pale, tattooed hands and pink lips invading his thoughts every time a pretty girl flirted their way towards him. Calum had shrugged and agreed when Luke said he wanted to leave, had sat with him in comforting silence in the cab, and had given him a kind but knowing look as he’d hesitated for a second outside their hotel rooms, body automatically trying to take him to Michael rather than his own room. Calum always saw too much when it came to Luke and Michael, pretending along with them but full of meaningful looks of reproach when it became obvious what the two of them were doing.

Luke pulls himself from his thoughts and stumbles to his ensuite to take a piss, trying to ignore the way that his whole being craves another person when he lies alone in his bed. Tries to convince himself that it is in fact just a craving for a person rather than one person in particular. His brain betrays him and takes him back to that night that Michael had stopped it.

Michael pulled away from Luke’s arms with shaking hands, slipping out from under the sheets and pulling on his boxers.

“We shouldn’t do this anymore,” He whispered into the dark, not looking at Luke.

“What?” Luke had murmured back, a sinking feeling in his stomach.

“This, us, whatever the fuck is happening here,” Michael huffed, pushing his hand through his hair.

“Michael—” Luke started, reaching for the other man, but Michael had stepped back out of Luke’s grip.

“No it's not —” Michael sighed and scrubbed both his hands over his face, “We should stop,” He repeated.

Luke sat up and tried to fight down the panic that was trying to claw its way out of his throat at the thought of not having this with Michael anymore.

“Mikey I don’t understand,” He said, Michael still refusing to look at him.

“I think you should go Luke,” Michael had said quietly, turning away again.

“What?”

“Please leave.”

And Luke had clambered out of the bed, finding his boxers and sweatpants, pulling them on with unsteady hands, heart racing. He’d turned back to Michael intending to say something to him, to try to change his mind, or to get him to explain or something, but Luke did what he always does and just closed his mouth again, and retreated back to his own room that had been previously unused.

Three weeks. Three weeks of trying to navigate a relationship with Michael that wasn’t ever how it had been, wasn’t ever what he wanted it to be. The strain on the band had been substantial, Calum throwing him dirty looks whenever possible, “I told you so’s” almost palpable in the way his eyes narrowed at the awkward way they danced around each other. Ashton, normally wilfully oblivious to Luke and Michael, telling Luke to “fix it” in a low voice a week ago. Luke doesn’t know what the fuck he’s supposed to do when Michael hasn’t spoken a single word to him since that night, and he doesn’t know how it’s his problem when Michael had broken up with him. Not broken up, Luke thinks to himself. They can’t be broken up because they were never together, that was the whole point.

Luke tries to tell himself that he doesn’t need Michael, that they were only friends with benefits to begin with, but now he’s lost the friend bit too, and it's that thought which has him ripping open his door at 3:25AM and walking down the corridor to Michael’s room. He knocks and waits, he knows Michael will be awake. He hears shuffling noises on the other side of the door but it doesn’t open.

“Mikey please,” Luke presses his head against the door. “Can we talk?”

There’s another pause and then the door slowly opens to reveal Michael.

Luke takes one look at him, hair flopping in his eyes, sweatshirt drooping over his hands where he’s rubbing his eyes and blinking slowly at Luke, and basically tackles him backward, wrapping his long limbs around his body, pressing Michael against him. He feels Michael’s breaths shake in his arms, his own hands coming up to grip at Luke’s bare shoulder and hip.

“I miss you, I miss you,” Luke whimpers into the side of Michael’s head.

“Luke,” Michael whispers out against his neck.

Luke pulls back to look at Michael, the way his eyes are shining with something he can’t put his finger on.

“Kiss me,” Luke whispers hoarsely. “Please.”

Michael leans forward as if on instinct and presses his lips to Luke’s. Luke hums and pulls Michael impossibly closer before Michael rips himself away, gasping a little.

“No, we shouldn’t,” he says shakily. “We can’t, I can’t.”

“Mikey,” Luke pulls him closer again, looking at him pleadingly. “Michael, please.”

Something seems to flick in Michael’s head and he slams his lips back on Luke’s, licking forcefully into his mouth, nipping his lip like he’s trying to devour him. Luke gives it back with everything he’s got and starts to peel off Michael’s sweatshirt.

Luke knows in the back of his mind that they need to talk, that this doesn’t mean they’re back to where they were, whatever that was. Maybe tomorrow he’ll be able to tell Michael how his head and heart yearns for him whenever he’s not there, that Michael occupies every available space in his head. Maybe he’ll be able to tell him that he wants all of him, not just the bits that he claims in the cover of darkness between sheets and whimpers and whispered conversations. But fuck if he won’t take what he can get for tonight, he’ll take everything that Michael is willing to give him.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #371

“some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses”

What is one song you feel as though you sing particularly well, if any? Probably none, lol. What was the last lengthy task you completed? I love these unique questions I've had lately, but damn, are a lot of my answers "I don't know," lol. What type of photography do you enjoy looking at? Do you take any photos yourself, and if so, what types of things do you prefer to photograph? I love floral and wildlife photography. Landscapes, too, and I have a great fondness for boudoir for reasons I've mentioned in previous surveys. I like taking nature pictures, mainly. Have you ever gone out for the Black Friday shopping rush? Did you enjoy it, or not so much? Or, what’s the busiest shopping day you’ve ever experienced? Hell no, that's a hard pass. I'm sure the busiest shopping experience I've had was like at the mall or something around Christmas, idk. Do you enjoy reading diaries or stories you wrote from when you were younger, or does it embarrass you? If you’ve kept them, was there a particular reason for hanging on to them so long? NO. I DON'T. BECAUSE I CRINGE INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION. I keep a lot of it for memory's sake, but goddamn, is it always embarrassing. What would you say was your first true hobby? What about your most recently developed one? Um... the first thing I really remember is video games. I played Spyro like, a LOT, along with other childhood games. I was just really into gaming at a young age. Is there one thing that throws off your mood more than others, whether it be lack of sleep, lack of food, heat/cold, etc., and when was the last time you felt especially cranky? THE HEAT. I become so irritable. I was needlessly cranky a few days ago for whatever reason. What kinds of things are you likely to complain about? My legs hurting, more than anything. Also being hot. Do you like to put any extra effort into your food in terms of presentation, or do you prefer to just put it on a plate and eat it as it is, no frills? Ha, no. It's not gonna look fancy in my stomach, so whatever. Have you ever dated someone who had kids? No, and I very much doubt I ever would. Are there any candles in the room with you? No. Does the last person you kissed have tattoos? No, but I tell her all the time that dainty nature tattoos would be THE most beautiful on her. When was the last time someone called you pretty? I think when I last updated my Facebook profile picture. Do you like the color pink? It's my favorite! Does your cell phone have a case on it? What color? It came with this thin purple one. What was the last song you had on repeat? "Moon Baby" by Godsmack. Ever kissed someone your parents hated? No. Your most recent ex says he/she hates you, you say? I wouldn't *say* anything, I'd break down sobbing. Would you feel hurt if your last ex was in a relationship? No. Have you ever had to choose between two people? Yes: Jason and Juan. Juan and I dated for less than a day not all that long before Jason and I got together, and Juan was pretty upset. He was nooot a fan of Jason due to a shared ex-girlfriend. Jason, meanwhile, just didn't care. What is the saddest thing that has happened to you? What about the happiest? I think the saddest thing has to be my breakup, especially when you know just how madly in love I was with him and had endless trust that he would never leave, and then he was gone in a flash one night. The happiest is, in turn, my recovery from said split. I found strength in myself and felt hope for once as I learned coping mechanics and got a psychiatrist that was worth a shit in my partial hospitalization program. What was the last new drink you discovered that was delicious? *shrug* Do you have a YouTube channel? Yes. I don't make videos anymore, though. Were you happy as a teenager? God no, my depression was awful. What do you do for your mom on Mother’s Day? Sigh. Not enough. I just tell her happy Mother's Day, give her a hug, and try to be an extra good daughter. Do you know anyone who follows a raw vegan diet and lifestyle? No. Can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you? I can do it alone (but only have once), but I like to bring my mom with me still. Would you have sex with someone of the same gender as you? I'm bi, so. Have you ever had a concussion? One or two, I can't remember. How many dresses do you own? Zero. Do you know anyone who has a pet gecko? Yeah, my friend Summer has a darling leopard gecko. I want oneeeeee. They look so damn derpy and adorable, and their chill demeanor is something I really like in pets. Would you ever go bear hunting? No. Absolutely never. Do you prefer drawing or painting? Any particular reason why? Drawing, for sure. At least you can erase stuff, and paint is just so messy. Do you like raisins? NO THANKS MAN. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? Nope. Do you forget to flip the page of your calendar at the start of each month? I don't have a calendar. Are you racist to any race? Nope. Have you ever intentionally hurt an animal? I've given cats and dogs a small pop on the rear, but nothing more than that. I hate doing even that, but with the language barrier and all, sometimes it's the only way to get your point across. Do you own any autographed memorabilia? No. Have you ever dated a twin? No. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? Oreos. Have you ever considered being a cop? Yeah, no thank you. What’s your favorite superhero movie? Maybe Logan. I thought it was very emotional and just overall a good movie. Name somebody you know who deserves a better life than they have: MY MOM. Name something that you’re good at but don’t like: uhhhhhhhh Name something that you’re bad at but DO like: Dancing, maybe. Which is worse: Stale chips or flat soda? Stale chips, for sure. It's certainly not my preference, but I can drink flat soda. Who’s the hottest guy and hottest girl out there? M-Mark Fischbach. :') Girl... let's seeeeee... maybe Alissa White-Gluz from Arch Enemy. GodDAMN what a WOMAN. ❤_❤ Do you ever trip over your pets? Yes, because he just looooves to follow me at my feet. What’s your relationship like with your exes? Aaron, Juan, Jason, and Tyler: nonexistent. Sara and Girt: great. What was the last thing you turned down doing? Going to my nephew's t-ball game. I always feel bad when I say no when Mom asks if I wanna go... but at least the kids know I just don't handle the heat well. Are you a party animal? Faaaaar from it, my friend. Who are you the biggest fan of? m-m-m-mMARKIPLIER You’re DJ for the night - first track to get everyone going? Uhhhh maybe "Party Hard" by Andrew W.K.? Have you ever been hit on by a pushy person? I think Juan was kinda pushy, but not to an uncomfortable degree. He respected what I felt. What accent do you find attractive? Most attractive, British. But I also really like Scottish and Irish. Also French accents in women I tend to find very beautiful-sounding. Have you ever had feelings for a friend's partner? Yes. What’s your favorite thing to do that doesn’t cost much? Drive around take pictures, maybe? Let's, uh, ignore the whole gas crisis in this answer. When in danger are you more fight or flight? Flight. Do you feel self conscious about a certain body part? *gestures to entire body* Have you been accused of being manipulative? Yes. Have you ever considered violence to solve your problem? No. Are you romantic? I personally think so. If you are a smoker, how long does a pack typically last you? If you aren’t a smoker, does anybody you are close to smoke, & if so, are you against the fact that they’re a smoker? I don't smoke. To answer the next part, yes, like my dad and stepmom. I wish they would stop so badly, like it's literally going to kill them both. Do you have more subscribers or more people that you are subscribed to? On YouTube? I'm definitely subscribed to waaay more people. Is there anything that has been drilled into your brain since you were young & you finally decided to stop listening to? How did it feel once you decided to listen to yourself over what you were told? Yes: "finish your plate." Teaching your kid to eat beyond their comfort can be very destructive, and I'm glad I never stuck to that once Mom stopped enforcing it. If you are currently in a relationship, what is one thing that seems to be unique or different about your relationship with this person, compared to other relationships in general? If you are currently single, is this more of a choice or is it more just the way things are going, not really something you chose? If you are neither “single” or officially in a relationship, what are your feelings on your current situation? I'm single, and it's just how it is. I know realistically I wouldn't tell what felt like the right person no, but it really is probably better that I stay single and keep figuring my shit out. Think of somebody famous that you have a lot of respect for. What is something that you really admire them for? To name just one thing I admire in Mark, his relentless "I'm going to do this no matter what" attitude is very inspirational to me. He lets like... n-o-t-h-i-n-g get in his way. If somebody were to leave a harsh comment on a survey you took, judging you on one of your opinions, how would you react? I'd get pretty self-conscious, just because I in general take judgment quite poorly. I obsess over "what if they're right, and you're just an idiot?". Are there any other sites you use to find surveys to take? What sites do you use? I mainly use Tumblr and LiveJournal, but in times of great desperation, I'll use Bzoink and just google surveys as well, haha. Have you sent or received any friend requests on Facebook lately? Not sent, but I got one from someone I had no mutual friends with the other day. Safe to say I declined it. Can you recall the last time you turned down an offer, of any kind? Uhhhhh no. Which fruit would you say you eat the most often? Apples. What was your pet’s last vet visit concerning? Roman has been to the vet once to get neutered (and I think shots?). I took Venus many years ago because I thought she had a respiratory infection. Thank god, she didn't. Which animals do you tend to go check out first at pet stores? The reptiles, snakes in particular. Have you ever been a victim of a house fire? No. What’s the longest you’ve ever had to wait before being seated at a restaurant? Like, over an hour. Have you ever had a cavity before? How about a root canal? A tooth pulled? Braces? Cavities and braces, yes. What is your favorite zoo animal that you would like to set free? Probably polar bears. Like especially here, it gets so hot in the summer, and the poor things sometimes only have a bit of snow in the shade. Like... they can't be very happy. Especially when you see those videos of them playing in snow, and then you think about situations like our zoo here... ugh. What kinds of artifacts fascinate you? I really think old figurines built with like clay and stuff are cool. But all artifacts I find to be very intriguing. It's so interesting to see that the desire to create has always been with us as a species. Is there anyone that you’ve visited in jail? No.

[riaflicke]

The saying went something like, monsters are created not born. And that was exactly how Ria Flicke felt about the demon - or demons, plural, depending on the day - inside of her. It wasn’t always dark, but it was fed enough that it grew and grew until she didn’t know what it felt like to not have the darkness inside of her.

Some of the creation was self-inflicted. It wasn’t like she knew how to walk away from a bad situation or how to let the light win out, no, she let the darkness win and that was her own fault. Over the past few months of alone time and wrestling with questions and curiosities, she managed to figure out how and where the darkness was cultivated, fed and nurtured by the people that were meant to protect her.

AUGUST 17th, 2010, FAIRFIELD, CONNECTICUT (14 years old)

Move in day for Faircrest Preparatory School. Day one of one million of learning to be a spy. Mariana thought that it would be a good idea for Leon to drive Ria to move in. After all, he worked at Faircrest, and she thought it’d be good for the younger Flicke to finally get to know her father. 

Needless to say, it did not get off to a good start. Ria knew two things: her mother was cryptic about her father and the only way to get adults to pay attention to her was to be annoying. And she had lots of questions for Leon which meant she would be extra annoying. 

“Don’t put your feet up there,” Leon turned over to his daughter, who had perched her feet on the all white car dash. “You’re going to get it dirty.” “What?” Ria didn’t dignify him with even a glance, she instead focused on picking a scab on her calf. “Maria-” “Ria.” “Maria,” Leon huffed, “Take your feet off the dash or we’re not leaving this driveway… What did you do to yourself anyway?” “Fell off my bike.” “Don’t you know how to ride a bike?” Picking at the scab until she got it to bleed again (because it definitely made her dad cringe), “Yes. I let go.” “Why?” “It made mom freak out.” She finally moved her feet from the dash, pleased with the furrowed brow her father now had. “And why in the world would you want to do that?” Leon asked in a deadpan tone, clearly frustrated with his daughter’s antics. “It proved mom cares. Somewhere. She got worried.”

The frustration on Leon’s face morphed into one of pride, but in the blink of an eye it was back to neutral. “You’re already thinking like a spy. What has your mother taught you so far?” “Nothing, I’ve known for all of like, three months.” “Alright. Well, we have about six hours ahead of us-” “Joy.” “Don’t interrupt me, Maria. I can’t have my daughter not knowing anything about spyhood. You’re already starting Faircrest at a disadvantage.”

That spoke to the competitive side of Ria and all, but she thought that this ride would be a way to get to know the man she’d wondered about for years. “You’re going to spend six hours talking to me about spy stuff and not like… anything about me?” “I didn’t say that. Anyways, I’ll see you all year on campus, we have plenty of time to get to know each other.” “Ooookay. Weird, but, fine, talk to me about your spy life or whatever…” Her voice trailed off into silence.

Leon glanced over at her, “What were you about to say?” Chewing on her bottom lip, Ria was silent for a little longer before speaking up. “I wanted to ask you a question.” “Fine, ask it then.” “Do you love me?” The words sounded sharp to hide the fear inside. “I don’t know.” Sitting up straighter, the blonde’s face dropped, “How do you not know? I’m your daughter.” “We just met.” “So?” “So,  I need time to decide.” “Do you think you ever will?” “We’ll see.” And he wouldn’t. ‘I love you’ were three words he’d never say. “Fine… Tell me about this spy shit.” “Language.”

JUNE 8th, 2010, FAIRFIELD, CONNECTICUT (17 years old) Whether she wanted to listen to her father or not (spoiler: she didn’t!), Ria wanted to be top of her class. Success was something she could control. Success gave her purpose. Success made it all worth it. So as much as she hated Leon Calder with everything in her being, she kept note of all of his rules and the subsequent tests and trials in a tiny leather bound notebook. It was a pale pink, embossed with “Maria” on the cover - which she had since scratched up with pens and keys until it only read Ria.

With graduation on the corner - and a four year break from spyhood (her parents hated that one) on the horizon - she flicked through the pages, a walk down a very bumpy memory lane.

Rule 1: Control the conversation What’s it mean: - Have conviction in what you say - Stand by your words, even if they’re questionable - Don’t get stuck in webs of lies - Take pride in attention - good or bad - throws people off their game when you embrace an insult

Rule 2: Head not heart What’s it mean: - Don’t lead with emotions ever - Look at things logically bc that’s trustworthy, emotions are fickle - Tears are weakness - avoid at all costs!!!

8/30/10 - first week @ faircrest, dad got me a xanax prescription. told me it’s better to feel nothing than something. haven’t tried it yet 2/1/12 - (middle of soph. year.) - i think i’m addicted  4/29/14 - i’m graduating in 2 months. Idk how to feel bc i don’t think i’ve felt anything in four years. 8/2/14 - i don’t trust my own head

Rule 3: Don’t have a blindspot What’s it mean: - Falling in love means youre caught up in another person - Getting caught up in another person is a weak point - A lover will betray you or will be used against you - Lust =/= love, lust is ok.

11/1/13 - i don’t think ive cared about a single person ive slept with. like at all.

Rule 4: Know what you’re walking into What’s it mean: - Awareness is key - Evaluate every situation in full - ALWAYS keep your guard up or you’ll get backstabbed

12/21/10 - was @ home for christmas, dad snuck up behind me and threw a knife. i ducked in time. said i need to get better at awareness. Wtf.

After twenty or so blank pages, one page of the notebook had a few words written on it in all capitals. They were written more cleanly than the notes and scribbles of yesteryear, clearly written by an older Ria with stronger penmanship.

I THINK IM A MONSTER.

SEPTEMBER THROUGH NOVEMBER, 2020, ROSEVILLE, VA (24 years old)

The fires the year prior had been the first time that Ria remembered crying in over ten years. Something cracked inside of her as the buildings and all she’d used to ground herself started to fall and crackle apart. It was what pushed her to look inside of her. To know why she held so tightly onto the lessons and learnings from two people that couldn’t care less about her. It was what sent her to therapy. 

There were no diagnoses to be found, apart from a self-inflicted dependence on unhealthy relationships and her vices. She lacked the remorse and violence to be a psychopath, and she didn’t have the swings of anger that hallmarked aggression disorders. What was there instead was a shell, a guard that presented itself as sociopathy - but she knew what she was doing, she had remorse, that was where the questions began. How could you display every trait in the book but be ‘normal’ inside? 

The revelation of Blackthorne as a school for assassins had opened up even more of a can of worms, but she ignored it until the start of her third year, as she continued to try and understand what was going on inside of her head. Leon had gone to Blackthorne, yet the alumni didn’t seem to recognize his name. Something was up.

With the help of one of her Faircrest friends, Tobi, she was able to find more on her father. More on his employment records and his history. He’d begun going by his middle name after graduating Blackthorne, Leon Calder instead of Malcolm Calder. Hardly a criminal offense. He had a cross listing with the MI5 (expected, she knew her parents met in London) and a private agency ‘Atkinson Associates’. Further digging revealed it as a hitman agency, one that her father was still actively employed with. 

Once she had that, and access to the files of the company, she went to dig on her own - not wanting to pull anyone else deeper into the mess. The employee roster and files were what she really wanted. Clicking on her father’s, she read through the notes, feeling a gross pit building in her stomach as she learned more. Kill count: 117. Use for: High profile, quickturn jobs. Works both individually and with partners.

Noting that the word partners was linked, Ria clicked on it, skimming quickly over unknown names until she settled on the name of a former partner. One she knew too well. Mariana Alice Flicke.

“No…. no no no…” But she couldn’t stop, she had to know more about her mother. Kill count: 2. Use for: Track erasure and evidence destruction. 

She didn’t know if it made her feel better or worse that her mother was typically non-violent… Even if she condoned the violence. Blue eyes kept scanning the profile of her mom. Employment Terminated: September 30, 1995 Reason: Pregnancy.

“No wonder he hates me so fucking much.” She took Mariana out of the field, she took his partner away… But that wasn’t her fault! Hovering over the word pregnancy, Ria’s brow furrowed. Another link. There was no reason that needed to be linked. Everyone knew how pregnancy worked!

After a long stare off with the link, she finally clicked on it. The curiosity eating away at her. It pulled up what looked like an incomplete profile, one with nothing but the key statistics. And she didn’t even need to read them, they were ones she knew by heart. Name: Maria Grace Flicke Date of Birth: June 6, 1996 Start Date: To Be Determined.

She wanted to stop scrolling, but her hand kept moving, the answers were finally there. Whether she liked them or not. 

Current Status: 

Atkinson Associates Case study 001.:  Nature versus Nurture

- Developing the mindset of an assassin from day one - Utilizing upbringing to control later characteristics, thought processes, and disposition

None of her mania was an accident. It was all part of a bigger plan that she never wanted to be a part of. Each demon was planted inside of her by the people that were supposed to love her most.

And the only way she could deal with this was to let out an ear-piercing wail.

[xhaotixaesthetica]

Cruel Ink

Starlink Intergalactic Navigator 

READ THE TRIGGER WARNING: This post contains mentions and descriptions of abusive relationships, ownership of significant others, threats, violence, and death. The behaviors and relationships depicted below are abusive and unhealthy. These are not examples of healthy relationships, it’s actually the opposite. This is meant to imagine the members of Ateez in a popular anime trope and it in no way represents their real-life personalities and characters. Real-life ATEEZ are actually known for being some of the kindest, most respectful idols in the industry. It’s fiction, it’s for fun, PLEASE DON’T READ IT IF YOU KNOW YOU WON’T LIKE IT OR THIS KIND OF STUFF DISTURBS YOU! 

Author’s Note: @zafira-profundis​ I’m really sorry about how long it took me to get to this. I hope you don’t mind that I made the reader a hybrid in this scenario, I just thought it would really fit for some reason. I don’t think it really hinders with anything else in your request. I have no clue why I keep putting yandere san and yandere hongjoong in these dystopian settings, but I think it really fits them for some reason. It was a very interesting request and I had a lot of fun writing it, just like your last one. Your prompts really make me go out of my comfort zone and spread my writing wings haha. With this one, I’m not quite sure I met the expectations I set for this imagine, but I still hope you like it. Best wishes to you, hope you enjoy the writing, and come back to request again!

Genre: angst??? Idk, this ended up having a very strange vibe to it to me, it’s not nearly as emotional as property of the pirate king

Word-Count: 1.8K+

You are in: The Amalgam Star System 

The first time you met Kim Hongjoong was when your owner, San, went to his tattoo shop for a consultation.

Most owners would leave their hybrids home for such affairs, but you had long since learned that San was far from most owners.

In another world, Hongjoong probably wouldn’t have made such an intimidating figure. After all, he wasn’t that tall nor that broad. Maybe if his hair was a natural color and he wore pastels and went to college and studied like all the other kids his age and he didn’t have that predatory look in his eye and authority in his voice, you would mistake him for being normal, for someone you could be friends with.

But this wasn’t the case. Because Hongjoong’s hair was a bright cold silver and the long silver rattail braids that hung from his head would have been out of place on anyone else but somehow he seemed to make it work. He had countless piercings in his ears, one in his eyebrow, and a flash of silver whenever he spoke told you that there was most likely one in his tongue as well. He wore custom clothes that he decorated with his own drawings, beautiful but haunting and somehow, at the ripe age of twenty-one, he was already a celebrated tattoo artist in the area.

San had let you see Hongjoong’s portfolio online when he was debating having him do his tattoo. You could see why he was so widely sought after. But there seemed to be something sinister that radiated from every line he drew, something that made you hiss, the fur on your tail standing up straight in alarm.

“And who’s this little kitten?” Hongjoong says, giving you a friendly smile, something dark and murky lurking in his black eyes that made you half-hide behind San.

San smiled proudly, petting your fluffy ears and saying, “This is Y/N. They’re a ragdoll-Persian mix. Say hi, Y/n.”

You looked at Hongjoong who rose an eyebrow.

“Hello,” you mumbled before immediately diverting your gaze downward.

Hongjoong chuckled. “They’re adorable.”

San was in a good mood today, hyper and friendly, easily distracted. He was completely oblivious to the way Hongjoong kept looking at you throughout the consultation.

The way he would lick his lips, eyes raking over your frame, your ears twitching toward every little sound you heard, your large fluffy tail curled around you protectively. He was like a starving man, and you a five-course meal, the only thing that could quench his hunger after so long being empty.

“How long have you had them?” Hongjoong asked lightly at the end of the consultation. His assistant was busy booking San into Hongjoong’s schedule next week and San was busy staring at you, holding you so tight to his side that you could barely breathe, petting your ears so roughly that you could barely tolerate it.

He was like a child, the lack of empathy in their small brains preventing them from seeing how rough they were treating the pretty pet they liked to play with.

But you didn’t dare say anything to him, you’d learned to stay silent a long time ago.

“Around 2,047 days, why?”

The assistant looked at San a bit startled, but Hongjoong said nothing, just smiled and chuckled. “You two seem very close,” he said.

You didn’t think that explained at all why he seemed to be so interested in you, but you said nothing as San nuzzled his face into your ears and hair. “Closer than glue,” he chirped.

As Hongjoong watched the two of you walk out of the shop, he knew he had to have you.

He’d never been interested in a hybrid before, never really been interested in any sort of companionship, no matter the species. But something about you he had to have. He had never seen anything more beautiful, more admirable, than his client’s little kitty.

Soon to be his kitty.

“His name is Choi San, the hybrid’s name is Y/N. This is his address and phone number. That should be enough to start them on the right path if they’re as good as you say they are. Tell them to find out whatever they can in a week. I want them with me within a week after his appointment at the latest.”

Seonghwa nodded, his face cold and expressionless as it always was as he took the slip of paper Hongjoong handed him.

The silver-haired man watched his friend’s limo pull off into the purple haze of the setting sun.

His chest swelled with excitement and a sense of cruel satisfaction as he glanced at the sketch that would be adorning San’s body in the next week.

He would make sure that he’d only have you after he did the tattoo.

He wanted San to have that reminder of you for the rest of his life. Wanted him to know that it was the man he trusted with his own skin that took his precious kitty.

When Hongjoong next saw San, the normally cheery boy had a frown on his face the entire time he was getting his tattoo.

You were nowhere in sight.

Despite craving to see you again after going so long without looking at what would soon be his prized possession, Hongjoong couldn’t help but smirk when he saw San walk into the tattoo parlor by himself.

He was just making this entirely too easy for Hongjoong.

San was too distraught to notice Hongjoong slip his phone out and send a quick text before they got started.

For someone with the reputation San had, Hongjoong found the man to be absurdly trusting.

He told Hongjoong all about his terrible week, how he’d been fired from his job, how there was an investigation pending against him for several work and personal related charges, how one of his rental properties had been destroyed in a fire, how his car had broken down.

Never before in his life had things gone so wrong in such a short span of time.

And, of course, San had the money to fix these things instantly, but it was more the fact that things were going wrong in the first place that was causing him such distress.

San didn’t like things going wrong.

“All done,” Hongjoong said with a smile.

It was beautiful, a depiction of San’s precious kitten on his left bicep that almost compared to the beauty of the real thing.

“It’s great, Hongjoong, wow, you really are talented,” San beamed.

Hongjoong said nothing, just stared at San as he skipped up to the cashier to pay.

For once in the week, something seemed to be going right.

“Do you have another card, sir?” the cashier asked, frowning. “This one’s being declined for insufficient funds.”

“What?” San yelped.

He had two other black cards and the cashier tried them each three times. Declined every single time.

Furious, San just took out a wad full of cash and threw it onto the counter, ignoring the cashier’s calls for him to wait for his receipt as he stomped out of the tattoo parlor, already on the phone yelling to the bank.

The final straw came that very same night.

“You’re looking like the cat that ate the canary,” Seonghwa drawled after a mouthful of steak.

Hongjoong smirked from across the table at his friend, raising his phone and flipping it around to show him.

It was a video, some sort of CCTV footage it seemed.

You were in a shelter, beaten, bruised, half-alive.

It was a gruesome, stomach-churning sight and Seonghwa just rose a perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

“A break-in,” Hongjoong said simply, taking the phone back and sliding it into his pocket as he continued to eat. “On the day when he came for his tattoo. When he got home, the culprits were still there. Mysterious enemies from a shady underground life full of law-breaking.”

Hongjoong took a sip of his scotch and smirked. “So sad that he was taken into custody, leaving poor little Y/N all alone.”

Seonghwa gave a mirthless chuckle, the whole situation seeming to be quite amusing to him.

“You’re evil,” he said.

“Not evil,” Hongjoong replied as he wiped his mouth and pulled out his wallet, tossing the cash for his meal onto the table and standing. “Just determined.”

Seonghwa was still laughing as Hongjoong left the restaurant, already knowing the location of your shelter by heart.

He was in no rush.

The staff knew very well that there was only one person permitted to adopt you and they would pay dearly if the tried to stand in the way of Hongjoong and his new trophy.

Your entire body ached as you lay on the oversized dog bed that was standard for all hybrids at an orphanage.

It was cramped but better than catching pneumonia from the freezing concrete floor.

The thin blanket did nothing to stop your shivers which was unfortunate because every movement was agony.

You should be used to it.

San would go into regular fits of rage and this was not the first beating you had received.

But the beating combined with the stress of being ripped away from your home and owner and tossed into a shelter, unsure of your fate once again, was starting to weigh heavily on you now that the initial days of shock were over with.

You weren’t particularly attached to San or your home with him, it was rare for hybrids to come across owners that it was worth getting attached to at all. But at least with San you knew what to expect.

At least there you had relative stability.

“This is the nearest veterinarian,” you heard a soft, feminine voice speak, floating in and out of your head as you began to lose consciousness for the pain. No one wasted money on pain-killers for a hybrid without an owner.

“We can have them come here, or to your residence to tend to them. You could, of course, drive to the vet and have them take care of Y/N there, but with all they’ve been through recently, I wouldn’t advise it.”

Your eyes widened when you heard your name.

Sound became hard to decipher and the conversation sounded like it was occurring underwater, but you could at least make out the sound of your enclosure opening.

And you immediately know the face of the man who was crouching in front of you, about to claim you for his own.

“Hello, kitten. Miss me?”

As you looked at his pretty face, shining silver hair, and deep sinister eyes, you knew there was no hope. 

The Amalgam Star System 

Starlink Intergalactic Navigator 

[lizzybeth1986]

Sorry for this XD, but 1, 4, 9, 11, 26 and 27 for the salty ask? If it's not too much, of course

Don't say sorry! 😁 Thanks for the ask Nonny and apologies for the delay.

I must caution you, the post is going to be long and and there's too much salt in my responses for even me to handle.

1. OTP in fandom that you just do not get.

IDK I most don't give much of a thought to OTPs that I don't get. Like that is the nature of any fandom, that you can see potential for ships even without a say-so from canon.

What I really don't get is the absurd double standards that I see sometimes - how some fans will pull down other LIs/characters to make a favourite look good, how some LIs will be nitpicked to high hell while others can say the grossest things and not be judged. How one character can be judged for the same thing we will admire in another (I'll get to this later).

It's weird, considering the app literally allows you to choose who you will fall for (unless you're wlw or like a character that's a person of colour in a majority-white cast, in which case they will dangle scraps in front of you once every ten chapters, I suppose). You don't need to trash one LI to justify your choice of another. They're there. Stop tearing down an LI while deliberately tagging the character's tag and ship tags for your notes. Go generate (and promote) content for your own ships and characters instead.

4. A personal NOTP? Are they considered an OTP in the fandom?

Hana x Madeleine. Fortunately, lots of people had plenty of problems with this pair and the way it was written in Book 3. The narrative was subtly pushing that ship over the course of Book 3, but the backlash was strong enough that they got Madeleine to issue an apology for her bullying in the epilogue instead (I doubt they even remember the chocolate allergy scene, given that the MC acts like this information is brand new).

It still left a bad taste in my mouth, because it showed me how little the writers cared for Hana as a character, but at least the fandom made sure it didn't become a ship.

9. Most Disliked Character(s):

Hoo boy. I have a freaking list. Besides the really really obvious ones:

• Drake Walker: has way more privilege than he knows what to do with. Narrative acts like he is the Voice of the Commoner...well. I feel sorry for the commoners that don't get to practically live in court without having to change their attire or yap all day about steak, burgers and whiskey. And whose sisters don't have friends that will fleece their entire ancestral house's already-plummeting finances to keep her house running while her brother trash-talks the same friend in Book 1.

• Damien Nazario: is a hypocrite. That is all.

• Constantine: Almost every apology of his has to come punctuated with an excuse. Even if it involves orchestrating sexual assault.

• Madeleine (TRR) and Mallory (RoE): The demonic duo of People PB Wants So Desperately For Me To Forgive™. Without them even having to earn that forgiveness, too (Nana deserves to be on this list too, except the question of forgiveness doesn't even arise when it comes to her. She is worshipped in this series!). I see a small step towards change in D&D Book 2 with Lady Grandmother, but only time will tell if they will actually execute the "will never forgive you" route properly.

• Penelope: is so, so fucking entitled I just can't. I understood how her condition, and manipulation from people like Constantine and Bastien, got her to the point where she would be ready to harm someone. But I can't for the life of me understand how she can forget this so easily after the tea party.

I was hoping for a redemption arc where Penelope recognizes what she's done and unconditionally tries to make amends in Book 3, but that never happened. There was not a single reference in Book 3 to the harm she did you in Book 1. We had to do an immense amount of coddling to convince her to come for the wedding, and there were consequences if you didn't call her your "best friend" or support her demands. The narrative has Drake Walker...Drake "Ambassadors Go To Dangerous Areas, Lady Kiara (So Get Over It)" Freaking Walker...reassure Penelope in a way that Kiara never gets from anyone in the group, and she suffered a knife attack. Ezekiel is literally created out of thin air as a reward for her.

Why does she need a reward again? Who knows.

• Ajay: Didn't apologize.

11. Unpopular Character that You Like that Fandom Doesn't.

(This is going to be loooong. I'm not sorry. This rant has been really, really building up. It's like a dam).

Kiara. It's popular to sorta kinda like her now, but back when she started showing feelings for Drake she got a lot of hate...hate that I feel bled into the treatment she got in the third book.

It took me a while to warm up to Kiara, but I think what did it for me was her friendship with Penelope. She was protective and supportive, even though she lacked an understanding of what Penelope was going through. I was even more pleasantly surprised when she spoke about her bond with Savannah. There was a warmth and a sweetness about Kiara in Book 2 that we didn't see much of in Book 1 and she slowly won me over. When they spoke about her injuries in Book 3, I was looking forward to seeing that story explored.

I will always maintain that Kiara in Book 3 is what happens when both the writing team and the louder, more vocal portion of the fandom are heartless towards a particular character. Heartless is a heavy word, and a word I don't want to be using willy-nilly, but I've seen enough to come to that conclusion in this case.

Kiara was often called an opportunist and a host of other names in the fandom for not supporting the MC through the scandal. Except that we all forget she never promised anything beyond supporting your claim to being picked as future Queen. She tells you straight off the bat in Book 1 that she is looking for allies and not friends (guess who is often admired for that mindset? Madeleine...well, until she harms Hana for flimsy reasons). Meanwhile we have Penelope being all adorable and happy and congratulating you knowing that you're going to be slut-shamed, humiliated and dragged out of court for a scandal she helped generate. Kiara on the other hand was honest. She wanted a job in the ministry and a bomb married life while she was at it. I'd rather have an ambitious (but won't abuse her power like Madeleine does) Kiara in my corner than a person who lies to my face about supporting me, does little more to help than just tell me who her boss was, then expects me to call her my best friend later.

Kiara had to only look at and flirt with Drake for people to hate on her. Meanwhile Olivia could spring an unwanted kiss on Liam in public, and the fandom would still be blaming Liam for not loving her back. In regular fandom content Kiara was mocked and sometimes suspected of having an illicit affair with Drake, in fanfic that featured her she was often either villainized, or written as the "other woman". Which is okay - fanfic is your own personal sandbox, after all - but it does highlight a pattern.

In canon...Kiara was made a survivor of a terrorist attack and nobody cared. Not the MC, not the country's king, not her closest friends, not the man who got injured at the same ball. It was bad enough that her parents were considering leaving the goddamn country (they should have). She was ignored in her own estate. The MC speaks to her not with sympathy and reassurances, but instead reminds her of her 'duty' and pressurizes her. (@callmetippytumbles illustrates this amazingly in her ask here, having Liam say "have a apple and buck up for Cordonia". No lie there. No lie there at all). All the 'sympathy' goes to a brother who has absolutely nothing to do with court.

She was suspected and interrogated at Lythikos. The MC has the option to be dismissive and to minimize - by labelling her "not as driven" - as Kiara literally pours her heart out about her trauma. Sample this:

(Ngl folks. Reading this was really, really triggering for me. I know exactly what it feels like to have my trauma dismissed like this. It doesn't feel great. Fuck you MC. Fuck you Drake. Fuck you TRR writers)

There are no consequences for doing this to her, btw. She still returns and she still fights at the boutique and she'll still speak very positively about you to her mother. I imagine if Joelle found out the truth of how the group really treated her daughter, she'd verbally destroy them and never support the kingdom again. And she'd be right not to.

On its own that scenario looks bad enough already, but when you hold it up next to how we treat the other ladies? Pure, stinking trash:

Madeleine: A diamond scene to console and encourage her, and all the right options are meant to support her to her parents. If you don't succeed in making her parents understand what she wants, you lose out on their support. There are consequences.

Penelope: A diamond scene to comfort and reassure her that they will not be like Madeleine. Immense coddling from the group. If you don't call her your best friend or altogether be nice and supportive to her, that negatively impacts the way Landon responds to you. AND I have heard that if her parents don't believe Penelope is safe with you, she doesn't even join the tour. There are consequences.

Kiara: No diamond scenes to even figure out how she is or what she thinks. A one-minute scene to convince (emotionally blackmail, actually) her to "do your duty", which will happen no matter which option, then a diamond option for her brother...who exists only because they want to give Penelope a reward for something I still cannot fathom. Her brother's response depends on his own issues and the presence of Penelope, and Hakim and Joelle's depend on what you do at the Festival. Kiara's situation of being an attack victim should have warranted the kind of coddling Penelope felt entitled to, yet when it comes right down to it her plight matters to literally no one.

In Lythikos no special diamond scenes for her either, just an interrogation. While we can choose to view Kiara as innocent in Chapter 11, her leaving is branded "suspicious" by both Drake and the MC by default the next chapter, and Maxwell literally says (disappointment writ large on his face) "jeez, that's one suspect off our list" after we're done. We go to her pretending to be her well-wishers, but in reality we're interrogating a traumatized woman, and not even ashamed when she trusts our untrustworthy asses with her secret.

You get the option to forget what happened to her (for which she rightfully slams you). You get the option to be a trauma-minimizing pile of steaming fecal matter (for which she doesn't slam you, even though she should). No matter what, Drake is your puppet and will agree with you, and you get away with all this. Drake stands there and minimizes her experiences with you, and shows zero remorse for putting an attack victim in that situation.

Like, it's actually quite shameful the more you think about it. Kiara was interrogated. After two traumatic experiences that at the very least should have her questioning whether we are worth her support at all. In a scenario that any fool would realise was at least scary to her if not altogether traumatizing. Madeleine and Penelope feel entitled to good treatment, Kiara has to make do with the crumbs we throw at her. She is never given a chance to speak of this as problematic, and the group never gets truly called out on their bullshit.

Even if you do pick the absolute nicest options...the fact remains that the MC, Duchess of Valtoria (and possible future Queen) and her group of influential friends, ignored the concerns a person who was badly injured at their event, pressurized her into showing support for them, didn't do jackshit to ensure her safety, suspected and questioned her when she rightfully withdrew public support, and dishonestly interrogated this traumatized woman, while still keeping the expectation that she support them. All without earning a shred of that support. They felt zero remorse, every last one of them, for putting her in that position.

Kiara not getting much attention isn't exactly a surprise. She has always been given the least focus among the ladies of the court and Book 3 wouldn't have been an exception...if they hadn't made her a victim of a terrorist attack!! Once they placed Kiara in that position, she deserved to have her concerns addressed, and addressed properly. What happened to her was a highlight of the failure of the security system at the palace and Royal Court, and to have that ignored while we had all the time in the world to address Madeleine's parents' petty family squabbles was disgusting. That there are absolutely no consequences for doing this to Kiara, while there are for not attending to Penelope or Madeleine's concerns, and it all ends with Kiara praising us to her mother, is disgusting. That the writers were more busy trying to backtrack on Driara and make the ship impossible to happen in canon, than on focusing on Kiara's own story in her own estate, is disgusting. And I cannot ignore that the latter decision sprung in a large part from the hate the fandom was spewing on Kiara for most of Book 2. The writers wouldn't have dared to do such a thing to Penelope, and it was clearly because there would be a backlash. They knew they could get away with insensitive writing for Kiara easier than they would with Penelope - and they did.

The other thing is this. Back in Books 2 and 3, loads of people in the fandom used to aggressively ship Liam and Olivia (to the point where he would be blamed for not returning her affections). Loads of people would also find excuses to hate on Kiara once she began to show she liked Drake. Nowadays, it's popular to state that "Olivia deserves better" (I'd be inclined to agree if it weren't for the way that argument is often framed. She deserves a man who loves her completely) - again, in a way that blames Liam for not returning her affections.

Yet, when people speak of Kiara's feelings being one-sided? Little to no blame for Drake there, even though he was rude or dismissive to her more than once (for me, personally, Lythikos was the last straw). Hardly a handful would say "Kiara deserves better than Drake". I can bet if Liam treated Olivia even half as poorly as Drake behaved with Kiara, we'd be bashing that man to the high heavens. I guess it's because it's Kiara who is the recipient of this kind of treatment that it matters to so few. I shouldn't be surprised.

26. Most shippable character?

Hayden xD Mostly because they're so much fun to customize, yet there's a very strong inner core there that does not change and that grounds the character.

27. Least shippable character?

I don't know. Nana?

[sophygurl]

Dirty Dancing

I had a hankering to watch one of my old favorites today - one I’ve seen hundreds of times and that’s not an exaggeration. I probably watched it one hundred times alone the first summer it was on HBO and I recorded it - I’m guessing 1988 since it came out in 87?

Anyway - the short version of this post is simply that I’m pretty sure Dirty Dancing is a big part of my bisexuality and polyamorousness like. I’m sorry but Baby falls for Penny as much as Johnny and you can’t convince me otherwise and they would make an excellent throuple. And my little hetnormative-trained 13 year old brain didn’t KNOW that was a big draw of the movie for me but it was because the scenes between the three of them were my favorites - especially the dance training montage scenes where they’re all dancing together oh my HEART. But also just like you see so clearly how Baby is crushing on them both so much in those beginning stages and SOMETHING ABOUT THAT SPOKE TO MY LIL TEENAGE HEART OKAY?

So but the longer version is that I still love every single bit of this damned movie (2 minor exceptions - when Baby says “I’m not proud of myself” in her emotional monologue to her dad? I’d take that out. And also I wish the mom had just a smidge more agency but I also get that the lack of agency for the women was a big part of the story- hence these only being slight exceptions).

But okay yes. The movie? Is hella fun with a kicking soundtrack and amazing dancing and acting and Grey and Swayze have chemistry coming out of their whazoodles and I’d throw Rhodes in there too and all of that is fun and sexy and romantic and nostalgic (now for TWO decades since it kinda melds 60′s and 80′s stuff together in some ways).

You know what else though? It’s also just an amazing movie with incredible peeks into the sexism and classism of the era, and especially the intersection of the two. It explores both upper and lower class women’s roles and how both lower class men and women were treated. Swayze’s Johnny Castle is treated like a sexual object and expected to have sex with the upper class women who are being neglected by their husbands (interesting to note that the entertainment staff was forbidden to socialize with the daughters but expected to sex up the older ladies and the more educated upper class staff were expected to romance but not have sex with the daughters of the guests). 

Then there’s Penny and the whole pregnancy/abortion storyline and how Robbie treats both her and Baby’s sister Lisa - spoiler alert he treats them both horribly but in different ways. The mom has almost no agency. Baby thinks she has it, but you can clearly see the difference between when she’s with her family or with fellow upper class Neil and when she’s with Johnny and Penny and Billy - she blossoms into this whole new wonderful person with new insights and opinions about the world because she’s finally seeing outside of the bubble of her family and class. 

The movie does entirely ignore race issues, which is unfortunate. But I’m also guessing that is partly due to the setting - the vacationers would all have been upper class white folk and it seems most of the staff would have been as well. The band leader is a black man, but I think that’s it? IDK if that would have been indicative of the times or not, but it seems like the movie could have figured race into things if it had wanted to. The only other way it’s mentioned is when Neil says when the summer ends, he’s going to join the freedom riders. He seems to say this in order to impress Baby, who has shown she is concerned about social justice issues. And it comes off as a sort of privileged ally-cookie-quest. If Neil’s character did care about civil rights, it was not reflected in the way he treated the lower class staff at his uncle’s resort. 

Despite this lack, however, the movie does a pretty decent job looking at this intersection of gender and class. The way Baby was raised to believe she could change the world, and that this meant she should care about everyone regardless of things like race and class - but then quickly learned that her family (particularly her father) meant she should do these things in a more dignified and distanced way. They sort of humor her ideas of joining the peace corp and studying the economics of undeveloped countries - but the idea of befriending the entertainment staff at the resort is *gasp* Scandal!! 

But because Baby believed in those ideals she was raised with, and hadn’t yet learned the reality of what her parents expected of her - she plows right in and befriends these people whose dancing skill she so admires. She falls in love with dance, and with the people themselves (*ahem* Johnny AND Penny here) and with their easy way of being with one another. 

She rushes in to help wherever and whenever she can, but is still ashamed of her association and hides it from her family. This new world she’s discovered is a sort of guilty secret, and especially so once her relationship with Johnny becomes sexual in nature (AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH AGENCY SHE HAD IN THAT FIRST SEX SCENE LIKE SHE IS JUST GOING ON ABOUT HOW IMPORTANT HE IS TO HER, STARTS TO DANCE WITH HIM, GRABS HIS ASS, AND IS JUST LIKE - YEA BABY LET’S GO!).

So okay, she’s having teh sex and doing teh dance and making teh friends - but it’s still a secret because her family would find it shameful. Does this stop her when she finds out that Johnny is about to be blamed and fired for the theft? SHIT NO it does not! She jumps in to tell the whole world (well okay her family and the Kellerman’s and some other folks in the dining room at the time) that she slept with him that night so he couldn’t have stolen the wallet so THERE! 

And of course he gets fired anyway (I guess for defiling a rich girl? Blech.) but like. When he comes to find her and is all “nobody has ever stood up for me like that! ever!” - I die a little inside because this poor guy has been so beaten down that he doesn’t think he’s good for anything when what WE know about him is that he 1) totally stands by and protects his female bff (possible triad member???? shhh sophy we’re doing a thing here) no matter what and 2) he loves Baby so much because he sees all this good in her and he doesn’t think he deserves her but he is so proud of her and UGH 3) he stops taking the rich guy’s money to sex up his wife because Baby had finally convinced him he was better than that and 4) he works super hard all the time just to make ends meet but would Still have given Penny all his money to help her out and 5) GDI NEIL HE DOESN’T WANNA DO THE PACACHANGA!

All of this culminates when he comes back in and is all “Nobody puts Baby in a corner!” - which is such an epic and cool line but is also super cheesy and a bit nonsensical??? But what he means, really, is that in that moment he sees this woman that he loves sitting quietly in the corner with her parents who are suppressing this passionate and compassionate side of her (well mostly her dad her poor mom doesn’t wtf is going on) and he knows - okay - Johnny Castle KNOWS that Fances Baby Houseman is a fucking STAR okay and he is going to show the whole world (well all of the Kellerman guests and staff anyway) what she can do! PHEW.

So like. Yea, the movie is fun as shit for a lot of reasons. But it’s also so real and vital and important for more reasons than just this one gal’s bisexual/poly pre-awakening (it took another 5-10 years to fully get it - this was the 80′s/90′s in Wisconsin alright we didn’t have the internet back then to explain our sexualities to us!)

I don’t have a nice concluding thesis for this rambly meta except to say that I hope you enjoyed it and also I once again scared the crap out of my cats by singing and dancing a lot - they think singing means I’m sad and lonely so they come to comfort me because they call out and howl when they’re sad and lonely. They are so lovely to come and comfort me but the dancing and singing combo really freaks them out like what are you Doing lady - lady we’re scared - what’s happening? Are you ill??? Should we ... how do .. do cats call 911??? 

[crimsonfluidessence]

REALLY LONG CHARACTER SURVEY.

RULES. repost ,   don’t  reblog  !  good  luck  !

TAGGED. Found off @bloodsworn-marshal and I was like CHALLENGE ACCEPTED TAGGING. I will not be that cruel

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Esredes Rosemond

NICKNAME: Esrey

AGE: 33

BIRTHDAY: the fuck are birthdays

ETHNIC GROUP: Ishgardian Elezen

NATIONALITY: Ishgardian

LANGUAGE(S): Common Eorzean, Dragonspeak, does ishgard have its own language idefk

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Heterosexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Heteroromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single as fuck

CLASS: Gladiator

HOMETOWN / AREA: Ishgard

CURRENT HOME: The Coerthan Wilderness

PROFESSION: Heretic Commander/Ishgard’s Most Wanted

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Swept back and crimson. Noteworthy for the way it splits into tips at the ends.

EYES: Orange

NOSE: ....a fucking nose what do you expect me to say

FACE: Nasty looking

LIPS: Never anything but a black line in my art style so who fuckin knows

COMPLEXION: Light brown.

BLEMISHES: idk

SCARS: A lot in various places on the body.

TATTOOS: None

HEIGHT: 6′0

WEIGHT: idk how to do weights

BUILD: Sturdy

FEATURES: uh... he exists

ALLERGIES: None

USUAL HAIRSTYLE: As presented. He rarely combs down the tips.

USUAL FACE LOOK: Vaguely pissed off or emotionless.

USUAL CLOTHING: Either the Haubergeon outfit or his red tabard outfit.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR(S): Drowning, Being Captured, Failure, Strangulation, Dying in an embarrassing manner

ASPIRATION(S): Taking over and fixing Ishgard.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Loyal, Brave, Confident, Ambitious, Unyielding

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Manipulative, Brutal, Reserved, Hate-filled

ZODIAC: Fuck the zodiac.

TEMPERAMENT: Choleric

SOUL TYPE(S): what

ANIMALS: Rabbits

VICE  HABIT(S): Over-exerting himself

FAITH: None.

GHOSTS?: Yes

AFTERLIFE?: Yes

REINCARNATION?: Maybe?

ALIENS?: Dragons already exist

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: He’s like a conservative evil liberal its weird

ECONOMIC  PREFERENCE: what?

SOCIO POLITICAL POSITION: Anti Ishgard, pro heresy.

EDUCATION LEVEL: High School

FAMILY.

FATHER: Unnamed but he exists

MOTHER: ^

SIBLINGS: Seraphiaux Rosemond What siblings? I guess there’s Ysayle, it’s not like he has any biological ones who still love him...

EXTENDED FAMILY: Who knows?

NAME MEANING(S): Esredes doesn’t meant anything. I made it up. Ezredes means colonel in hungarian though, and that’s a neat coincidence.

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: Not related to Durendaires.

FAVORITES.

BOOK: Probably that one epic heroic tale that’s actually realistic out there somewhere

MOVIE: If they existed, he likes action movies.

5 SONGS: Idk, but he sometimes likes humming them to himself.

DEITY: Fuck you.

HOLIDAY: eh... I guess All Saints Wake is pretty decent

MONTH: September

SEASON: Autumn

PLACE: Idyllshire

WEATHER: A slightly cloudy day with a nice, mild breeze.

SOUND: The soft ambience of a forest.

SCENT(S): uh

TASTE(S): Meats

FEEL(S): The hair of someone he cares about when he’s trying to comfort them.

ANIMAL(S): Rabbits

NUMBER: uh

COLORS: Red and Gold

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Swordfighting, Strategic Thinking, Manipulation, Flying

BAD AT: People, emotions, cooking, anything involving engineering

TURN ONS: Assertiveness, Confidence

TURN OFFS: Stupidity, Miqo’te

HOBBIES: Flying and hunting

TROPES: Dark Skinned Redhead, Frontline General, Ambiguously Brown, Magnificent Bastard

AESTHETIC TAGS: I can’t aesthetic but like, besides dragon and blood and swords, his aesthetic boils down to regal and elegant but tough

GPOY  QUOTES: ?

FC INFO.

MAIN  FC(S): Nope

ALT FC(S): Nope

OLDER FC(S): Nope

YOUNGER  FC(S): Nope

VOICE CLAIM(S): The voice he has in my head

GENDERBENT FC(S): Nope

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1: IF YOU COULD WRITE YOUR CHARACTER YOUR WAY IN THEIR OWN MOVIE, WHAT WOULD IT BE CALLED, WHAT STYLE WOULD IT BE FILMED IN, AND WHAT WOULD IT BE ABOUT?:

Villain protagonist film where Esredes has to stop the Even Worse villain while still being unapologetically evil himself, teaming up with morally gray problematic good guys that don’t give a shit about his evil. General rule of thumb, if you want him to be the protagonist, make the villain the equivalent of Dolores Umbridge atrocious.

It has to be filmed in a way where the visual parallels clearly indicate nobody is in the right, that he is little less atrocious than the other villain. Give it enough of subtle intelligent cinema film style, not enough so that it’s confusing and prone to missing everything. Let the film have an element of pretty cinematography that can be contrasted with the more brutal scenes.

Call it “The Exception, The Guardian, and The Monster.”

Q2: WHAT WOULD THEIR SOUNDTRACK / SCORE SOUND LIKE?:

Esredes’ song aesthetic is somewhat orchestral, but intense in nature. It has to reflect the battle heavy lifestyle of his, all while making time for the more elegant and sophisticated parts.

Q3: WHY DID YOU START WRITING THIS CHARACTER?:

I wanted to make dragon characters for my friend’s roleplay group because generally no one gave a shit about all the human characters I came in with. His idea had the most inspirational energy and I went with a character representing everything I hate.

Q4: WHAT FIRST ATTRACTED YOU TO THIS CHARACTER?:

I first began to actually like him because of his dialogue. So much fun to write, like holy shit.

Q5: DESCRIBE THE BIGGEST THING YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOUR MUSE:

I mean, I find a lot of his personality atrocious in general. I don’t like his abusive tendencies, even though I love writing them because of how it defies the idea of him being the local sad man you can just befriend with sunshine. Really, I don’t like that he has to default to murder as a solution and call it for the greater good. He could be genuinely heroic if he tried to find another solution. And that is why he should never stop doing that.

Q6: WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN COMMON WITH YOUR MUSE?:

Desire for quick and snappy change. Generally being the one who can think when no one else can. Thinking nobody likes us while blatantly ignoring all the people directly around us. And both of us have a desire to use our powerful presence, but only one of us can actually pull it off.

Q7: HOW DOES YOUR MUSE FEEL ABOUT YOU?:

He’d probably just call me out on all my weaknesses. Try me, Esrey. So has everyone else before you. You know what it feels like too, don’t you?

Q8: WHAT CHARACTERS DOES YOUR MUSE HAVE INTERESTING INTERACTIONS WITH?

All the kids are fun because each flavor of Esredes trying to work with a disaster is beautiful. I love the absolute purity of Clover, the therapy of Dione, the chill of Rev, snark of Bellona, constant anger of Alastor, etc. The parents are also adorable for their emotional support to the character. Agatha and Esrey are fun because of how awkward but friendly they’re trying to be. Oh, and B’ahm is hilarious because the man is just trying to exist and be friendly and is STILL getting all over Esrey’s nerves.

Q9: WHAT GIVES YOU INSPIRATION TO WRITE YOUR MUSE?:

It’s not hard to get inspired to write him in general, since I have a puppetmaster approach and not a muse approach to writing characters. I usually just have to put on epic sounding music and absorb myself into the mental imagery of him it produces.

Q10: HOW LONG DID THIS TAKE YOU TO COMPLETE?:

Like forty five minutes. Git gud.