#like the argument about taking validation out of their very REAL amazing friendship just gets over shadowed by omg Dream posted a pic of

[cantofworms]

.

[cyllaeth]

play with fire

find on ao3

This is going to be a fun ride.

The silence in the car is scary because itʼs uncomfortable and that has never been a problem before. Buck shoots a quick glance at his friend. Eddieʼs eyes are fixated on the road, his jaw so clenched, Buck swears, he can hear his teeth gritting. His hands are on the steering wheel but his grip is so tight, his knuckles are white. Yeah, heʼs definitely mad.

The problem is that Buck doesnʼt know why Eddie is so furious.

Fine.

Maybe he knows. But that doesnʼt mean he understands. Heʼs never seen Eddie that angry. He remembers vividly when Eddie snapped at him in the grocery store right after the lawsuit—but itʼs just a pale comparison to his rage now. It doesnʼt make sense—because Buck didnʼt do anything stupid like another lawsuit—he just... He just did his job.

He risked his life to save someone elseʼs but he does it almost on a daily basis; Eddie does the exact same thing and yet, Buck has never snapped at him. So why is it different now?

Because you almost died today says an annoying voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like his sister.

Because you almost died in Eddieʼs fucking arms.

Buck tries to ignore it; he has to ignore it because if he doesnʼt, heʼll drown in guilt and shame. And probably wake up some long forgotten demons.

He canʼt re-live it again and again.

When they stop, he realises, theyʼre in front of Eddieʼs house and heʼs genuinely surprised his friend brought him here.

“This isnʼt my apartment.” He blurts out. He knows itʼs probably the dumbest thing he couldʼve said but he doesnʼt understand why Eddie took him to his home if heʼs pissed off at him. Itʼd be definitely easier to cool off if the source of his anger wasnʼt there, right? 

“Like hell Iʼm letting you stay alone after the shit you did.”

Thereʼs something in Eddieʼs voice that makes Buck squirm. He sounds angry, sure, but also hurt, broken. Resigned. He sounds exactly like when Shannon died.

Buck knows that because he was there. He remembers how mad Eddie was at his wife for leaving him and Christopher again, this time for good.

Eventually, Eddie gets out of the car and goes to the house. Buck quietly follows his best friendʼs footsteps and he flinches when Eddie drops off his bag on the floor.

“You can take a shower if you want, Iʼll make up the bed.”

He knows Buck too well; he knows that Buck hates the specific smell of the hospital and always tries to get rid of it as soon as possible. Buckʼs really grateful for that also because he can simply postpone their argument, just for a little bit. Maybe shower will help him cool off because heʼs irritated too but he doesnʼt truly want to fight with Eddie. He goes to the bathroom, takes off his clothes and steps under the shower. He lets the cold water run down his body and he really tries to calm himself; there was enough drama today and yeah, he almost died so he deserves to have a moment of uninterrupted peace. Or so he thinks. Heʼs getting more and more cold and he knows he should get out before Eddie will storm inside and drag him out of the shower. Buck wouldnʼt be even surprised if his friend did something like this.

Then, with a long sigh, he turns off the water and steps out of the shower. He quickly rinses himself with a towel and slips into his most comfortable clothes. Whatʼs a little funny and maybe even ironic, his favorite grey, worn out t-shirt is actually Eddieʼs and it even smells like him.

Crap.

He really needs to finally leave the bathroom and face his friend but heʼs trying to delay the inevitable by thoroughly brushing his teeth. And then, he doesnʼt find anything else he can do so he goes back to the living room. Heʼs quite surprised that he doesnʼt see the pillows or blanket on the couch because he thought heʼs gonna sleep there and heʼs even more surprised he doesnʼt see Eddie there. He finds him in the kitchen instead, leaning against the counter and nursing his favourite beer. Thereʼs a glimpse of hope in Buckʼs chest that maybe Eddie cooled off a little, that maybe he realised he has exaggerated and his anger isnʼt completely justified. Heʼs wrong, though. Eddie is not even slightly less annoyed and it takes Buck one look at his best friend to realise that.

He sighs again because Eddieʼs anger starts to get on his nerves. He moves closer until he stands against Eddie and looks him in the eye.

“Do what you have to do, letʼs get this over with.” He says with a tiredness in his voice. The only thing he wants right now is sleep, he wants to fall asleep and forget about the whole world for a couple of hours. “If you want to yell at me then be my guest and do it. I donʼt even care.”

“Oh, so now youʼre annoyed at me? Really?” Eddie asks wryly and sets aside the bottle with a little too much force, it almost smashes. Neither of them care anyway. Theyʼre now standing against each other, so close they almost hear each otherʼs heartbeat and they fix each other with a glare. 

“Yeah, I am. You act like Iʼve done something wrong, like I wasnʼt supposed to do this and—” 

Heʼs cut off by Eddie who lets out a humourless laugh and answers in a higher voice than usual. 

“God, do you even listen to yourself? You went to that building all by yourself, you disobeyed Bobbyʼs specific orders to not go there because youʼre you and youʼre above all the orders, right? It doesnʼt matter if Bobby did it because he didnʼt want to risk one of us dying there. But you just couldnʼt listen.”

“Funny thatʼs coming out from the man who cut his rope and almost died in the well.” Buck interjects viciously because heʼs truly angered by now.

Something flashes in Eddieʼs eyes but Buck canʼt name it. He doesnʼt even have the time to think about it because his best friend doesnʼt back out.

“Itʼs not relevant now, weʼre talking about today and your stupid, reckless behaviour. What were you thinking? Or-Or maybe donʼt. You probably werenʼt thinking at all. Obviously. And it almost cost you a life! Your life! How can you be so reckless?!” Eddie shouts and the pain in his voice is very noticeable but Buck pretends to ignore it.

“Iʼm a firefighter. Itʼs kinda in a job description, donʼt you think? Sometimes I have to be a little reckless. Besides, I did save a life and I didnʼt die either, right? Otherwise I wouldnʼt be standing there and listen to you being all pissed.” Buck shrugs like itʼs nothing, like he really doesnʼt care about his life. Itʼs probably another thing he shouldnʼt have said because Eddie straightens up and now, thereʼs almost no space between. For the second Buck thinks Eddie will lash out and just hit him. He kinda wishes he did. But Eddie only sighs heavily and rakes through his hair with frustration. 

“God, youʼre driving me crazy, Buckley. Youʼre so dumb and stubborn and you donʼt even stop for a second to think about the consequences of your actions. You donʼt even care what would happen if you actually died, do you?”

Thereʼs something in Eddieʼs voice, something hard to catch and name that stops Buck from responding immediately. His words are ringing in his ears because they are annoyingly true. He didnʼt think about the consequences of his eventual death. He literally just stormed inside the building to find a man despite Bobbyʼs direct order to not go there because it was already too dangerous. He did it anyway, he managed to save a life but he didnʼt manage to get out in time and the whole building just collapsed. He doesnʼt remember much but he certainly remembers being held out by Eddie and his donʼt you dare die here, you dumbass. 

It mustʼve been scary, he admits, and he thinks he understands how Eddie mustʼve felt because he also saw his best friend almost dying. But the anger? He still doesnʼt get it.

“Iʼve had a few close calls during the years. Why is it so different now?” He finally asks.

“Because Iʼm in love with you, you asshole!” Eddie cries out. “And you just keep dying on me and I canʼt take it anymore!”

Buckʼs brain short-circuits. He mustʼve died after all, right? There is no real possibility Eddie just told heʼs in love with him. Thereʼs no possibility he may actually reciprocate his feelings. Thereʼs no way itʼs not just his hallucination or some kind of weird dream in his afterlife. But he desperately wants to be the truth, desperately needs validation for his thoughts. So he does the first thing that comes to his mind: he grabs Eddie by the collar of his Henley and crashes their lips together. His friend is definitely surprised, even shocked and for a moment, he does nothing. Buck already starts to panic because he thinks it’s real and he might’ve misheard everything or even projected it and just destroyed their friendship. But then, Eddie suddenly changes position and pushes Buck until he leans against the counter. And when he kisses him, all thoughts and doubts are completely gone from Buckʼs mind. The only things that matter are Eddieʼs lips on his, Eddieʼs hands on his body, Eddie utterly focused on him and that desperate need to fulfil their desire. Buck mightʼve kissed a lot of people in his life; he has had both awkward and amazing kisses but they cannot compete to make out with his best friend. It feels entirely different, maybe because Eddie loves him back. They break apart only for a couple of seconds to take a breath; Buck sits on the counter and brings Eddie closer by the belt. He canʼt take his eyes off him; Eddie looks wonderful with already swollen lips, flushed cheeks and a spark in his eyes. He probably looks no better but he doesnʼt even care.

“I know youʼve probably already noticed but I love you too, asshole.” He says in a teasing voice, inches away from Eddieʼs lips.

“Well, I mightʼve suspected it when you kissed me but itʼs nice to actually hear it. But donʼt even think that you say you love me, bat your eyelashes and kiss me this way and I wonʼt be angry at you.” Eddie warns half-seriously.

“I can try.” Buck just smirks and kisses him again. This time, he also quickly unbuckles the belt Eddieʼs wearing and starts to lift his shirt. His friend doesnʼt even protest, he lets him do whatever he wants and thatʼs why his Henley ends up somewhere on the floor. Then, the blonde moves from his lips to his neck and slowly makes his way down, planting kisses on his chest. Itʼs crazy how quickly their anger turned into lust. Now, the tension between them is much better, more exciting, easy to resolve. 

Eddie lets out a loud moan when Buck—this sneaky bastard—grabs his ass and squeezes it.

“Youʼre a menace.” He hisses.

“Oh, you should wait with the sweet talk after Iʼm done with you, Diaz.” Buck grins and he doesnʼt stop with the teasing. He unzips Eddieʼs jeans painfully slowly and Eddie almost whines to hurry up. The younger man notices it and winks at him before he adds. “Although Iʼm not sure if youʼll be able to talk at all.” 

“So maybe quit talking, Evan, and show me your skills?” 

“As you wish, Edmundo.”

[i-just-want-more-yubel]

SO WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT JIM AND JUDAI REAL QUICK BECAUSE OH MY GOD BUT DO I LOVE THIS

this is also going under a cut tumblrs letting me do it again yay because its going to be a LONG ASS post. Mentions of mental health and self harm involved.

So while I wouldn’t say that Jim is Judais closest friend in the series not least for the fact that most of their relationship building happens in a handful of episodes and in flashbacks I would absolutely argue that Jim is one of Judais GREATEST  friends Which sounds like a contradiction so what does that even mean? If you have a CLOSE friend it’s someone you enjoy being around, but if you have a friend who's GOOD for you they’re someone who makes sure you're okay as well. They’re the friend who notices you’re going to far at the bar and makes sure you get home instead of letting you pass out on the road, They’re the friend who listens to you when you’re upset.  They’re the friend who takes the knife away when you’re hurting yourself.

In my opinion this is what Jim is for Judai.

Through the entire Supreme king portion of GX Jim is the one who has faith in Judai being able to get back to a good mental place - and not just has faith but actively works to make it happen though this is later picked up by O’brien.  This is opposed to Sho - who literally just stands around documenting Judai murdering people and calls it proof of caring in what might be the worst relationship advice I’ve ever seen with my own two eyes given by Judai himself. I am however also willing to give him some leeway here because again he IS cursed by that sorrow spell during this.

Not even Edo - who literally has experience with people he knows and is very close to being possessed by destructive forces - expresses much past curiosity and concern for Judai and suspicion for how fast the changes happen. He does participate in the intervention mission once it’s started however.  Honourable trash mention to Ryo in this bit for being arguably worse than Sho because he has no curse excuse and just vaguely judges Judai from a distance for his mental breakdown until the moment he dies. Stellar.

Back to Jim however the guy just flat out refuses to give up on Judai, telling O’brien when asked 

which might be my FAVOURITE reason in an anime ever to befriend someone - Jim didn’t need a shared spirit sight to connect to Judai, or an amazing duel to see Judais worth or some crazy world saving deed to consider him a valuable person, Jims Crocodile Karen liked Judai so Jim talked to him and decided he liked Judai too - for Judai this makes Jim one of only two people in the ENTIRE FOUR SEASONS OF GX that decide they like Judai just for Judais personality. (The other is Johan) I’m leaving out Yubel because we don't actually know very much about their first life and therefore how the friendship/literal undying love/soulmate thing they’ve got going on started.

Also interesting to me is the reaction Judai has to Jim being pinned by his advisors on the walls of the castle after accepting Jims challenge.

This guy just UP AND LEAVES

Giving O’brien the opportunity he needs to create an escape opportunity

and then tells his advisors to LET THEM GO all of whom seem very surprised by this choice - which considering this is the Judai that GENOCIDED AN ENTIRE MINI PLANE OF REALITY no shit they’re a bit shocked.

This is interesting to me because it implies that Jim and O’brien are mostly likely the first - and probably ONLY people the Supreme king ever makes the decision to let go - especially surprising when you consider Judai was specifically rounding up strong duelists and seemingly every duelist besides he could get his hands on to power super polymerisation. The argument could be made that Judai HAD super pol. at this point but he continues his campaign against the dimension regardless so I don’t think he’d have any reservations about wiping out two more people who clearly don’t agree with him a little sooner than the rest if they didn’t matter to him. Jim arrives back to duel Judai again pretty quickly after regrouping from the shock and not only does Judai arrive down pretty DAMN fast to answer him he doesn’t look happy about Jim being back to challenge him - his eyes overcast in the only moment I think we ever see of the supreme king doing anything but staring in irritation or dismissal at anyone.

Nearly every other time we see the supreme king he has the following or a similar expression on his face - his eyes are never hidden.

Jim also does something that I found significant and refuses to deny that what’s happening and who’s doing it is Judai - literally refusing to call him anything except Judai and acknowledging it’s his friend who’s doing these things while still wanting to help him

And then he jumps into Judais brain like he’s going to fisticuffs Judai’s depression himself and it’s FANTASTIC, all the while yelling encouragement at Judai not to listen to his own shitty self destructive thoughts and that he doesn’t need ‘darkness’ as a coping method.

^^^ the shitty thoughts

^^^^ Jim encouraging him

Jim then does something that is far from small, in fact it’s one of the best things you can do for a friend when they are really, truly a danger to themselves (and others)

Jim acknowledges that words alone are not enough and that it is time for action.

While Jim has been acting to help Judai all this time I honestly believe this is as close to physically intervening as yugioh and it’s whole “everything must be solved by dueling” premise can get. This is - in my opinion - the yugioh equivalent of dragging your friend to therapy. To pulling away the knife.

And we get what might be the craziest, most understated reaction in the entirety of GX -

-Jim gets through to him.

It’s only for a moment and as we all know it ends terribly, but I honestly think this is one of the most understated, underappreciated moments in GX - everyone talks about Judais relationship to Sho, to Johan, to Yubel and honestly all of that is valid - the oldest friend, the closest friend, and the most complicated relationship with the craziest pay-out respectively, but no one ever talks about the fact that Jim Crocodile Cook, the very sweet Australian boi, nearly talked Judai out of his tyrannical rampage with nothing more than the fact he cared about him.

I dunno, I just think it’s crazy that doesn’t seem to be a bigger thing in the fandom from what I’ve seen, Jim deserves a hell of a lot of recognition and it makes me honestly UPSET that they don’t do more with him after this.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk: the Vmin “no on screen interaction = no bond” Paradox

by Admin 1 & 2

One of the reasons that are usually stated for why people are so insistent on their claims that Jimin and Tae supposedly aren’t close anymore, that their friendship is nothing but PR for Friends, and that the whole “soulmate agenda” is fake as well, boils down to the statement of “we rarely or never see them interact on screen, no touching, no talking, nothing”. We find this both misleading, since it isn’t true, but also disrespectful, since it means that the only way in which some are able to accept closeness between the members as real and valid is if they see it, nothing else. So, just because you don’t see it through grand physical touches, hugs and whatnot, does that mean if they speak about each other, for example, that doesn’t count? 

You could argue that the power of pictures is greater than that of words, but to that I would like to ask: do they owe us visual proof of their closeness when we already have so much that shows how truly close Jimin and Tae are, how much they care about each other and how much work across years they’ve willingly and eagerly put into their bond for it to grow as deep and beautiful as it is?

As a way to showcase how misleading the screen time = friendship/closeness argument is, especially in connection to Jimin and Tae, I’d like for us to look at two different instances: Black Swan MV (the MV Sketch as well as the “opera” b*omb and the basket ball b*omb) and the Jingle Ball 2019 EPISODE.

Let’s start with the videos surrounding Black Swan below the cut:

Around that time I saw a lot, and I mean a lot, of chatter (mostly negative) about vmin since a very loud portion of the fandom were very up in arms after we got Friends. Not only did it solidify their preconceived notion that they are just friends, because the song is titled like that and none of them really cared enough to check the lyrics, but also because it opened up a whole new discussion about “but like, are they really friends?” To which, of course, their answer was mostly “no”. It’s just PR, they actually don’t really like each other, they barely interact, we see nothing of them, both interact way more with the other members, you know the drill. So when the MV Sketch for Black Swan came out it was, once again, like more “am/munition” for their arguments.

The thing we find laughable though is this expectation of “ship moments” in a video that’s literally about the filming of their music video, most of the scenes showing said filming happening though there’s also a few scenes of the members interacting. But, at the core, this isn’t like a bangtan b*mb of them hanging out backstage waiting for something or another where it makes sense that we’d see them interact a lot and be silly, instead it’s a video in which their focus (as well as ours should be) is on filming and giving the best performance they can so the MV turns out amazing, which it did. They are doing their work, not enjoying their free time. When you’re at work, do you really spend the majority of your time playing around with your friends? No, you do your job, the thing you get paid for doing.

The first few times I watched the video, I was so captivated by the theatre and their dancing, their mindset and performance, I didn’t even really notice any of their interactions or pay attention to who interacted with who or who did not. Guess my priorities and expectations are simply a bit different when watching a music video being filmed...

So what was the conclusion people drew? While Jimin and Tae are both close to JK and the other member, they are not close to each other, they don’t even particularly like each other. It was a narrative I saw repeated across various sns and, really, while it made me sad, I also wasn’t surprised. It’s nothing new that people treat vmin in such a manner.

Then, months later we got two Bangtan B*mbs from the same time and surprise, surprise Jimin and Tae did interact, a lot even, in ways that show how attuned with each other they are, how easy it is for them to fall into one of their role-plays or just be silly together, how gentle and thoughtful of the other they are, and how much they enjoy doing something together, regardless of what it is.

The first, posted October 1st 2020, showed Tae playing basket ball while Jimin and JK sat off to the side and watched him. Like you can see in the above pictures, eventually Jimin joined Tae and they played together for most of the video. Since the sun was shining at them, Tae stood before Jimin and raised his hands so the shadow fell onto Jimin’s eyes and he could see better, later on doing the same for Tae. It’s a small thing and yet it shows they care about each other. At some point Jimin pretended that he’ll be leaving, twice, and yet he stayed and they played some more. Toward the end of the video Namjoon joins them and eventually vmin leave and Namjoon stays behind and plays with Seokjin before the video ends.

Based on all that you’d assume the people who, seven months earlier, claimed vmin are essentially estranged and barely even like each other would reconsider, but of course not. Despite the focus being largely on them across the entire video, many comments by non-vminies (and non-namjinists) I saw on sns were about Tae playing on his own, Jimin and JK sitting off to the side together, and Namjoon playing with Seokjin. 

The second video was posted October 24th 2020 and began with Jimin pretending he’s an opera singer, which Tae noticed and immediately joined in, since we know this is the sort of thing Tae enjoys doing, even occasionally turning their own songs and lyrics into opera style to make the other members laugh. This sets off this entire sequence of Tae and Jimin singing different things, JK also joining in for a moment, and then vmin ending on that sweet moment of Jimin standing behind Tae with his hands covering Tae’s eyes before concluding that “it’s hard to play with him”. And yet, even if it’s hard, can we talk about these two screenshots of Jimin fondly watching Tae and looking like he can’t wait until his stylist is done so he can go join him? Adorable.

But again, even here while the focus is on vmin for a large portion of the video, this fact was largely omitted and instead people zeroed in on moments in which Tae was alone, Tae or Jimin interacted with JK, and Tae singing with Namjoon and Seokjin. It seems to me like the council of “how valid is a friendship” decided on their opinion months prior and stuck with it even if it meant, as always, to just ignore vmin interactions in favor of other things while at the same time spreading the “vmin are not friends because they don’t interact” agenda to anyone who’ll listen.

Generally I don’t really care all that much for all the chatter happening among parts of ARMY, but seeing these comments belittling and erasing the bond Jimin and Tae have, regardless if you see it as platonic or potentially romantic, is just really hard to read sometimes. Not even because I’m a vminnie, but simply because they are erasing something that is so important to both Tae and Jimin, this bond they have with each other they themselves spoke so much about, showed so much of, and yet people refuse to accept it, like they have any right to make such judgements about their bond.

The second example I’d like to show is Jingle Ball 2019 in LA and how deceptive, paradoxical and misleading the no screen time = no bond agenda really is.

For context, the Jingle Ball happened some time in December 2019, the same month as when we got the vmin “let’s take a half bath together” while holding hands during Seokjin’s birthday vlive happened, meaning a time when Jimin and Tae were just as close as ever, even occasionally giving us glimpses into their bond, giggling together and being all smiles. Also the same month as the famous holding hands because we think no one sees us anymore moment at the airport.

On July 22nd 2020 we got the EPISODE showing the behind the scenes of the Jingle Ball performance. It’s 11 minutes long and includes the BWL performance with Halsey, but largely shows the members getting ready, practicing their English and being excited to perform. If we focus solely on vmin then sure, I’ll agree that there were no interactions between those two whatsoever, not a usual or out of the ordinary thing, and not something I see any kind of problem in. They don’t owe us interactions in every piece of content. And yet, as always, it just added fuel to everyones favorite agenda that vmin are not close, ignoring all the prior time frame context we established previously. But who cares, they didn’t interact in this 11 minute video therefore they definitely didn’t interact at all and now hate each other.

Jokes on those people because of course that isn’t true.

Excuse the rather mediocre quality of those pictures, I tried my best with the screenshots taken from a video taken by a fan (one of many) who got to see BTS behind the scenes before going on stage from the stands further up. There’s this video on twt that shows just vmin and then I found a longer version in this person’s vlog (around the 7:25 min mark and onward). You can check both and confirm that it really is vmin in those screenshots. Also, as memory refresher, Jimin was the only one with a black collar and shirt along with blond hair. Namjoon stands further away and can be seen in the three lower pictures.

So, what does this tell us? Easy--just because it wasn’t shown in a condensed and edited video it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Just because Jimin and Tae don’t show us things on screen, or the editors don’t use scenes where it can be seen, it doesn’t mean that it’s an accurate representation of their actual, real life bond. They weren’t in the EPISODE but hugged and walked together off camera.

Notice how this agenda merely applies to vmin, how their bond, their soulmate status and closeness is the only one that gets questioned at every possible moment. When Seokjin said that Yoongi feels like his soulmate nowadays in an episode of In The SOOP no one questioned his words and accepted them as true, because he said so himself and we should believe their sincerity when they say these things. And yet when it comes to vmin, the rules are entirely different.

This was a post brought to you by Admin 2 coming across yet another thread on twt filled with ARMY claiming outlandish things about vmin and their bond and getting annoyed.

[authenticcadence18]

For the sending you a character thing could you maybe do Candace Flynn please? :)

Hi anon! And of COURSE!!

Favorite thing about them: I love how relatable she is! Candace being overwhelmed with life and feeling stuck/discouraged and frustrated is just, a big ‘ol mood, especially as I’ve gotten older. “The Universe is Against Me” is very therapeutic to sing for those reasons! I also love the moments when she is genuinely a kind older sister, like in “Dude We’re Getting the Band Back Together” or the end of “Summer Belongs To You.” I also love her friendship with Isabella (especially in the later seasons), it’s just really sweet! Candace helping Isabella out with her crush on Phineas (or just reacting to it in a deadpan way) is so so soooo so great! (Basically big sister Candace. Yes.) Candace is also just, SO FUNNY. Both with her dialogue and physical comedy. She’s a great character. (On a personal note, I also relate to her struggle with not wanting to drive right away! I was the same way, and thinking about Candace made me feel better about my own struggles!) Also her SINGING. YES. I love Ashley Tisdale. ...Ok, now that I’ve said lots of nice things about Candace...onto the next question😅

least favorite thing about them: sometimes Candace is just, very unkind. Like, I KNOW she has her own struggles and I’d never want to invalidate those.....but she is just so MEAN to Phineas and Ferb sometimes for no real reason (particularly in earlier episodes). Like, in the Christmas special for instance, she continuously laughs off Phineas and Ferb’s desire to write letters to Santa (but then USES this idea in a scheme to figure out what gift Jeremy wants, so it’s hypocritical on her part) (EDIT: i wouldn’t change the “letters to Santa??” bit, btw, it’s pretty funny!! but it illustrates my point) and THEN puts the thought in Phineas’s head that he might be the reason all of Danville was deemed naughty, which DEVASTATES him. I think the saddest part is that, 95% of the time, Phineas and Ferb are nothing but kind to her. It makes her occasional spitefulness towards them seem so JARRING. (And again I KNOW she struggles with her own issues and feeling inferior, CATU especially made that apparent, and I get it! But that doesn’t make it okay for her to be mean to her brothers, you know?). Also scenes where she says something nice to Jeremy and then rude to her brothers...idk, it just rubs me the wrong way. (I also dislike it STRONGLY when she is condescending to Isabella. I think this only happens, like, twice...but Isabella is my fave so I’ll never forget, LOL)

Favorite line: oh MAN how do I CHOOSE??? She’s got so many iconic lines. Maybeeee: “It’s SO not fair! I mean why am I still on sock detail when Gladys from accounting got promoted to commander and she doesn’t even know hold to hold a blaster!!! No I mean, really, she failed that part of the exam three times, she held it backwards AND upside down but she’s a second cousin to some mid-level darth and so SHE gets the promotion?? What about ME??? If they would just open their eyes, they’d see that I’ve got everything it takes, I COULD BE THE STORMIEST STORM TROOPER EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!” Oh i also like (in reference to lumpy tables) “it’s the new hip-thing, it’s so European!!!” And also “Though I’ve often thought of you as just a nuisance and a bother, today I can’t imagine havin’ better little brothers!”

BrOTP: Candace and Stacy, 100%!! I love them and their friendship SO much, it really feels genuine (especially as their characters develop more). Their subplot in “Canderemy” is one of my favorite Candace plot lines in the show, it’s so funny and so sweet at the end (and a welcome distraction from a certain OTHER subplot in that episode.....yes I’m still mad about the ending🙃)

OTP: CANDEREMY! I’ll be honest, when I was younger, Canderemy kind of annoyed me because Phinabella was my fave and I always got mad when Candace had better luck with love than Isabella (because Candace was mean and Isabella wasn’t and I identified with Isabella and like, I’m just trying to give y’all a picture of younger me😂). But now that Phinabella is canon and I’ve gotten older, I really, REALLY appreciate Candace and Jeremy. Candace doesn’t have to act a certain way for Jeremy to like her: he likes her just the way she is and actively DISCOURAGES her from changing her identity just to appeal to him more. That’s so refreshing and wonderful to see in media aimed at kids/teens. I love that, for the majority of the show, they’re either “talking” or in a relationship and it’s just, a healthy relationship! No multi-episode arcs about them breaking up, no love triangles, no petty arguments (sometimes the show leans into these tropes for an episode, but that’s it. And it’s always resolved). They genuinely care about one another, and I think it’s really sweet. (Plus a Canderemy wedding is RIFE with possibility for pre-relationship Phinabella moments👀)

nOTP: I don’t have any specific nOTPS for Candace, so I’ll just say I’m fine with any ship between her and someone her age (that she isn’t related to, obviously. AND THAT GOES FOR ALL MY SHIPS. I don’t want to say that on every one of these character posts so like, just know. That is where i stand.)

Random headcanon: Candace and Jeremy adopted Fred. I just think it’s a sweet headcanon 🥺. Alsooooo ok this doesn’t specifically revolve around Candace, but when she and Jeremy got married, Isabella and Phineas were both a part of the wedding party and Candace made SURE they were paired together to walk down the isle💕. And Candace continues collecting Ducky Momo memerobilia well into adulthood!

Unpopular opinion: Candace isn’t a terrible, irredeemable character.....but she’s not a purely amazing character who can do no wrong either. I feel like some fans either despise her fully or love everything about her. I’m in the middle. I see her as a flawed character who was written by numerous people and thus is somewhat inconsistent in her characterization. I like it when she is characterized as kindhearted but easily overwhelmed and longing for validation, so that is how I choose to portray her in my own writing/headcanons.

Song I associate with them: look Candace sings so many FANTASTIC songs in the show that I can’t associate her with any other music. Like I guess Ashley Tisdale’s “Kiss the Girl” because there’s fics of her singing that to Phineas and Isabella and I think that’s adorable? (I know I wrote one of those waaaaaaay back in the day, LOL). But in general, every Candace song is great. “The Universe is Against Me” ESPECIALLY.

favorite picture of them: you know what Y’ALL GET FOUR PICTURES BECAUSE BIG SISTER CANDACE IS THE BEST OK

Thank you so much, anon! As you can see, I’ve got quite a few thoughts on Candace😅. At the end of the day, I think she’s a great character and I relate to her a lot! I had a ton of fun writing all these answers out.

This is the last ask I’m going to answer tonight, but I’m looking forward to answering more tomorrow!!!! 😁

[thou-crusty-batch-of-nature]

The rise and fall of our love

part one | part two

playlist: gold by nick murphy and chet faker

too young to burn by sonny and the sunsets

cold cold cold by cage the elephant

pairing: reader x james, lily x james

warnings: language, fluff, a bit of angst

A/N: hope you like my first proper series! i've been working on this for a while and i'm so excited to finally post it! feedback is very much appreciated so lmk what you think

also, credits to @approved-by-dentists for the iconic line "I'll drop kick your firstborn", you can check her frog memes here

and credits to the harry potter wiki fandom, I took those amortentia info from there

p.s. the cover is made by me

word count: roughly 2.4K

MASTERLIST

"You can't expect me to believe this!" James was looking at you with his mouth agape and exaggerated wide eyes which made the conversation slightly more embarrassing than it already was. 

"5 minutes till midnight!" Sirius announced from a table with several bottles of champagne by his side. 

"Well, you should. I'm telling the truth!" 

"Y/N!" he shouted in a serious note, as if he was trying to decide whether you were lying or not. Your ears were burning. Someone hex me right now. 

"James!" you answered - this was like a bad version of the Marco Polo game.

Something in your eyes convinced him of your honesty. "You have never been kissed on New Year's Eve!" he gasped with such amazement that you didn't have the heart to reveal that, in fact, you have never been kissed by anyone on any other occasion - you still needed that remaining bit of dignity. Well, not a real kiss, that is. The only time you have ever kissed someone was on a game of spin the bottle in 3rd year, when you and Remus shared a very awkward one-second kiss, that James never forgot to bring up every other day. 

"Why is it such a big deal - I don't need a kiss to have a lucky year! I can manage fairly well on my own, thank you very much!" 

The whole Gryffindor Common Room was buzzing with chatter, clinking glasses and loud music. New Year's Eve meant a great deal to gryffindors, whether it was for the booze, the games or the chance to kiss your crush at midnight. 

You could proudly say that your presence was owed to none of the above, but rather to the persistent demands of your best friend, Marlene. Not that you didn't love a good party - it's the opposite, really. The only problem was your low intolerance to alcohol; three big gulps of beer were enough to make you the talk of the school for at least two weeks. And with Marlene and the marauders by your side, the chances of that to happen were outstandingly high.

"It's a matter of principle, it's about the neediness of human nature, about their need for closure and contact in order to feel full and satisfied! It's about the idea of knowing that you have emotional support!" he declared passionately with a hand over his chest. 

"So, people are horny and they need to kiss other people for them to feel valid and worthy?" You scrunched up your nose in disgust. "That's messed up!" 

"It's love, Y/N! It's not supposed to make sense, it's like magic!"

"You sound like a cringy girl from a romantic muggle movie!" You snorted.

"You're incredible!" James sighed, disappointed. "Alright, I'll show you, you'll see!" Soon enough, a gigantic clock appeared over the fireplace starting the New Year's countdown. 

"9…" People were chanting joyfully. 

"8…" You could feel James' stare, but you kept your eyes glued to the clock. 

"7...6…5…" You sensed him inch closer. 

"4…" He spun you around and cupped your cheek. 

"3…" You were lost in his eyes. They were an infusion of spring and autumn, a melt of fiery leaves and honey. 

"2… 1!" His soft lips met yours, and you could hear fireworks erupting outside the castle. You felt your soul implode. The kiss was shy, yet passionate. His hands were slowly grazing your back while yours found their way to his dark curls. It felt right - perfect, even. 

Even though it was your first kiss, you knew it was the best you'd ever have. Everything was easier when you were with James, everything felt at peace. You pulled apart when you ran out of breath, still longing for more. Your whole face was on fire, and you let your forehead rest on his. 

"Here you go. Wasn't that bad, was it?" 

"Eh- t'was alright." you joked, trying to sound cool. You laughed nervously, though you were pretty sure it sounded more like a squeal. Great. 

"Do you think Lily saw it?" Something in his voice made you realise that he wished she did. You were just a puppet in his cruel play. Your heart wrenched a little, but you managed to hide your pain. 

"Don't know. I haven't seen her tonight." You were his friend. That's all. The kiss meant nothing for him, and that was okay. 

Just great. 

"I think imma go check on Marls." you said, trying to hold your tears back. "Thank you, for the kiss." you exclaimed sarcastically, though James didn't seem to notice. He nodded absentmindedly, his eyes already on a certain red-head. 

Oh, you were so stupid! How could you let this happen? A wave of nausea washed over you while the knot in your stomach kept pulling at your insides. 

You made your way through the sea of people, right where you knew Marlene would be. There she was: lounging on the couch next to Sirius, drinks in hands, talking about Merlin knows what. You suddenly felt very bad to disturb your best friends who were both clearly having a great time, so you quickly turned the other way. 

"Y/N!" Marlene shouted. Shit. You quickened your pace, only to hear her shouts over the music. "Y/N Y/L/N stay where you are or I swear I'll knock you down!" 

You continued to walk but stopped when you saw James and Lily a few steps ahead. She was laughing while he was whispering something in her ear. Lily spotted you and smiled teasingly. You took a deep breath. Defeated, you turned and saw Marlene's tall figure facing you. "What happened? Why are you crying?" 

You haven't realised that until she asked you. Good thing that James was too busy fawning over Lily to notice. 

Marlene didn't wait for an answer to take your hand in hers and lead you back to your dorm. She pulled you in her arms while you finally let your tears fall. You felt pathetic; how could you believe he would actually like you the way you did? 

You told her everything apart from that unbecoming smile Lily gave you. They were also friends, not as good as you two were, but you didn't want to stir up any arguments. 

You and Marlene have been best friends for over six years. You used to be quite an introvert, whereas Marlene was cocky enough for the two of you, so she made it her goal to get you out of your shell. And she succeeded - even too well, some would say. 

And as for you and Lily, things were - you guessed you could call them decent. Neither of you made any effort to be besties, as Lily made it quite clear she didn't like you. However, you managed to become acquaintances for the sake of your friends'. 

"Y/N! What is our number one rule?" she asked when you finished. 

You sighed. "Bros over hoes." 

"I will never put a boy over our friendship, Y/N. You come first. Especially when you have a problem."

"Okay, mother." you rolled your eyes. "I should've drank the damned firewhisky. It would have been a far better alternative to get shitface drunk than deal with all this." 

"You're right." You glared at her. "What? You really are. That just proves my theory further: technically, alcohol is a solution."

×××

Naturally, the odds haven't been in your favour, and Lily and James were closer than ever. You would be lying if you said you were happy for them. 

"Now, Y/N/N, that's just cruel!" Marlene said with her mouth full, spitting half of her breakfast on you. Then, she silently handed you a napkin. You gave her a nod of thanks. "I mean, I get it, you are a tad bit jealous, but that's understandable!" 

"Am not!" you defended. "I'm happy for my friend for finding his love." You choked that word out. "Okay, I might be a tiny tiny bit jealous but that's not the case right now! I just don't understand his choice!" 

"Ah… here goes that 'he could've had all this but he chose that' speech..." Marlene sighed. 

"Yes- I mean no! That's not what I mean! I just don't like Lily!"

"I know…" she said regretfully. "She is a good friend to me, really - she's not that bad. I know you two had your problems, but… Wait, what are your problems exactly?" she squinted her eyes in confusion. "You've never told me the real reason you two don't get along." 

"Well…" 

"Good morning darlings!" Sirius interrupted, plopping down next to Marlene. 

"Good morning to you too!" James chirped with a sheepish smile plastered on his face. He sat next to you, hugged you and you could swear you heard him squeal. 

"Well, someone seems to be in an awfully good mood this early in the morning. Waddup?" you ask, popping the 'p'. 

"Someone got back to the dorm very late last night after having spent the entire day with -" 

"LILY-FLOWER! HERE!" James got up and waved frantically towards her. She furrowed her brows when she spotted him next to you and you quickly averted your gaze.

"Hello there!" she smiled, sitting down on the other empty spot next to James. She took his hand in hers and glanced at you. You rolled your eyes. 

"Is there something wrong?" Lily asked innocently. 

"Nah, everything's alright." Just my back hurts a little... from all the stabs. The intensities of your stares could burn holes through each other's bodies. 

"Y/N, have you finished your DADA essay? I think it was due Wednesday and I haven't written a word!" Remus cuts in, sensing the tension. You made a mental note to thank him later.

×××

"So what was all that about?" You were in the library "helping" Remus write his essay - in reality, you were munching on his chocolate while he was reading.

"What?" You decided to play dumb, hoping he would drop the subject. Remus leaned in his chair and rubbed his eyes. It was too early for any of this. 

"Your 'friendship' with Lily." he air quoted. 

"There's nothing wrong with us…" 

"Oh, then let me call her here and make friendship bracelets together!" he mocked. "You almost hugged to death out there!" 

"Quiet!" you heard madam Pince's high screech.

You let your head fall in your hands. "Is it so obvious?" you whispered. He gave you the are-you-kidding-me face and you groaned. 

"Fine! The truth is that I don't know why she hates me! I've tried to be her friend for so many years, ever since she became Marl's friend - and she rejected me every single time. Not to mention that she has never been the nicest to me. And now she acts like I drop-kicked her firstborn and I'm sick of it."

"So nothing happened?" 

"Nothing that I know of…" 

"Huh…" It was clear he expected somewhat of a greek tragedy. You glanced at the clock and cursed, you were running late to class. "Remus, we gotta leave."

You both got up in a hurry, stuffing parchments and quills in your bags. "Potions?"

You checked the time again. "In five minutes." 

"Shit." 

You sprinted down the halls of Hogwarts, going on every shortcut you knew. You reached the classroom faster than ever - seriously, you must’ve broken a record.

"What time is it?" Remus asked, a bit out of breath. 

"10:04" you managed to say. 

Remus knocked on the door while you struggled to keep an upright position - you had to admit that you were a bit out of shape. 

"Ah, Remus and Y/N, I was beginning to worry! Everybody is late today! Do you happen to know about Potter and Lily's whereabouts?" 

"No, sir." 

"Probably in a broom closet." Sirius said between coughs. Slughorn decided not to hear this remark. 

"Very well, then find your seats and get your books out." You hurried towards the empty desk behind Sirius and a now-seated Remus. Where was he? 

"Now, as I was saying. I prepared some concoctions this morning which you can find on your desks. Any ideas what these might be?" 

"It's Armortentia!" someone from the front exclaimed. 

"Excellent! Now, this is the most powerful love potion in existence. It causes a powerful infatuation or obsession from the drinker. Despite its power, Amortentia doesn't create actual love; it's impossible to manufacture or imitate love."

 You were already growing tired. "Miss Y/L/N, you seem awfully relaxed. Care to reveal what scent do you smell?" 

Your head shot up from the desk, trying to remember the question. You were ready to ask the professor to repeat it when you saw Sirius pointing to his nose and then to the potion. 

Thanks, you mouthed and Sirius winked. 

"I smell…" you started, closing your eyes and sniffing the liquid. 

"I smell gingerbread, old books and…"...James. You quickly opened your eyes as the realisation dawned onto you. "... musky cologne." 

"Wonderful, miss Y/L/N! Now, in the hour that remains you and your desk mates will have to brew an acceptable vial of Amortentia, helped by the example before you and of course, your books. So, open the books at -"

A loud knock interrupted Professor Slughorn. He turned his head just as James and Lily barged into the room all giggly and blushy. 

"Excuse us, professor! We had some urgent Prefect duties!" Yeah, right. 

"You are a tad late, I'm afraid. Oh well, you may come in, I've just finished the instructions for today's lesson. Potter, there's an empty seat next to Y/N; Lily, you can take a seat next to Miss Macdonald."

"Hello, roomie!" James whispered when he sat down, wiggling his eyebrows. "What are we brewing today?" he asked. Why did he always have that stupid smirk on his face? 

"That!" you pointed towards the tiny cauldron in front of you. 

"Hmm - let me see." he leaned forward to look at it, then scrunched up his nose when he tried to smell it. 

"Bloody hell, Y/N! Do you bathe in your perfume? And what is with this smell - lilies? Are lilies here? Well, besides the most beautiful one over there?" he nodded towards Evans. 

You couldn't help but blush and look away. You were sure you didn't put any perfume on this morning, so that meant…? 

"We are brewing Amortentia, you barmy wanker!" you heard Sirius' wheezy voice, who was trying and failing to hold his laughter. 

"Oh" James said, rubbing his neck. "Shit." 

Shitty indeed. 

You were in deep. 

****

part two

taglist: @futurewriter2000, @puppycat714, @booksbeforebois, @slytherinquill, @screennamealreadyused, @fific7, @with1love1anu

[thehollowprince]

It will never cease to amaze me the amount of hoops that people who claim to love Steve jump through to justify their utter contempt for anyone who is in any way unhappy with that bullshit ending. And also the sheer number of hoops they demand we jump through to justify not liking Steve's ending.

I mean, let's be real here; a lot of us have been very critical of the MCU from CIVIL WAR and on, because they took what was supposed to be the last Captain America movie and turned it into, at best, another Avengers film, and at worse, another Iron Man tribute. If we've done nothing else in the subsequent years, we've criticized Feige and the Russos and Markus and Mcfeely and their choices for these movies, especially because those last four had almost sole control over Phase 3 of the MCU and which direction it took. But suddenly I'm just supposed to put all that on hold because a character I liked got an OOC happy ending from those same people? Since CW, there have been countless metas on who Steve is as an Avenger, as a soldier, as a friend and as a man, and suddenly we're just supposed to discount all of that, all of his character growth, because he got the laziest written happy ending in the MCU? All just to get Evans out of the MCU so they could "move on" with the next batch of superheroes?

I don't think so!

And the thing is, you can't just say "I didn't like Steve's ending" without a group of people descending on you and demanding to know Why. "Why are you so disappointed in his ending?" "Were you ever a fan of Steve to begin with?" You point out your reasons why, but if there's even a hint of another character in that reason, you're decried as a fake fan and so on and so forth. Why isn't "I didn't like Steve's ending" a valid enough excuse as that? Why do I have to explain in minute detail why I thought it was bad only to be told that my argument is invalid because it doesn't meet a set of criteria that I don't know about? Its extremely counterproductive and a real disservice to the fandom that built up around Steve since THE WINTER SOLDIER. We've spent countless hours discussing Steve's relationships with those around him, particularly his friends and teammates and how they help define who he is as a person, but now they're not valid because it just says that "you only like Steve because of X character."

I've said this before and I honestly shouldn't have to say it again, but a large part of the blame goes to the Russos and M&M for their numerous interviews post CW where they downplay the importance of Peggy in Steve's life and continously hyped up Sharon and Steve's other relationships in the present over his "what might have been" with Peggy. These four men have had sole control of Steve's character from TWS and onward (with the sole exception of AoU) and they backtrack on everything they've said at the last minute and try to act like that was their plan all along. It's bullshit! Its insulting to fans of not just Steve, but every other character that he had any kind of meaningful connection with.

Peggy in particular.

I've seen so many hot takes defending that ending against any kind of criticism specifically by using Peggy (and yes, the irony of that isn't lost on me). Die hard defenders of Endgame love to point out that there is no canon proof that Peggy married Sousa, but I always feel the need to counter with the fact that there is no canon proof that she didn't. And that's the biggest thing with the St*ggy relationship at the end of the day, it was never flushed out or explained, at least not at the same level as his friendships with Bucky, Sam and Nat. These people cry out that just because THE FIRST AVENGER didn't show Steve and Peggy interacting over the course of the war doesn't mean they didn't. "Just because you want it to be true doesn't make it canon", which works both ways, but no one wants to hear that.

I made a joke once about these diehard Endgame Steve supporters being the new T*ny stans, but the more I look at it, the more I think that's the case. This blind adherence to making sure that Steve's ending is unblemished is remarkably similar to T*ny stans throwing a fit anytime anyone points out the various horrible things he's done.

At the end of the day, I find myself asking whether or not I ever actually liked Steve or if I just liked the version of him built up by the fandom post TWS. Was it just Evans acting that made me like a character that I never really liked in the comics? I wanna say no, because out of the Big Three, he was pretty consistent, with a few obvious exceptions, the biggest being CW and Steve just sitting there and letting himself get berated by Ross, of all people. I mean, Steve fighting Bucky even though it caused him great pain, consistent. Steve refusing to kill Bucky, consistent. Steve willing to burn down everything he believed in the moment he found out it was wrong, consistent. Steve sticking up for Wanda, and then Bucky, consistent. Steve willingly becoming a fugitive just to rescue his friends from an illegal prison, consistent. Steve willing to risk everything on a throw of the dice in the hopes that they can fix what Thanos did, consistent. Everything about Steve up until he went to take the stones back was consistent with who he was as a character, with how he was written. That whole "Man Out of Time" schtick felt more like something Whedon wrote then what the Russos had given us over their movies.

Bottom Line: I hated Steve's ending and that isn't going to change.

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

10 Times Arnav Singh Raizada Crossed The Line (Part 2)

Read Part 1

This is the continuation of my analysis of my favorite television hero - Arnav Singh Raizada. A man who has as much as qualities as flaws. And my endless inspiration to writing a thousand words! 

Recap: Arnav Singh Raizada is our perfect, tortured Mills & Boons hero. Sometimes it’s unfortunate when recent shows have aped his behavior and not the layered characterization that he had. However, sometimes (according to my own opinion) I felt that his character might have crossed the line. It’s moments where no explanations justify his behavior.

- Tearing the dori. - Arnav Singh Raizada does not apologize. - Blasting at Khushi for pranking, PRANKING him. - Telling Khushi her anklet, their almost kiss & she, does not matter. - Arnav Hypocrite Raizada - forcing an engaged Khushi to confess her feelings when he’s unable to do so.

Reminding Khushi of her broken engagement cause he can’t handle jealousy.

Manipulating & frightening Khushi with Akash & Payal’s divorce papers.

Telling Khushi he ‘faked’ his sickness to get rid of the ‘Swami’ tag.

Refusing to believe Khushi’s version of events.

Becoming Khushi’s landlord and blackmailing her (emotionally and financially) to get her to come back home.

Bonus

Telling Khushi that she does not have the brains, courage nor talent to face the real world.  

#6 “Tumhara rishta? Hua tha... yaad hai na?”. (S5, E10)

“Your relationship? It happened... do you even remember that?” - A foot in mouth Arnav Singh Raizada.

First Reaction: How to lose a woman in ten seconds ft. Arnav Singh Raizada. Are you bloody serious? THIS… out of all the valid things you could have yelled at her for, HER BROKEN ENGAGEMENT is what you taunt her with?

What’s wrong with it: 

Arnav arranges a party for Akash & Payal according to his own tastes. He never takes into account that his new sister in law might get intimidated in the new setting. This is a power move for Arnav and really not a party for Akash & Payal because nothing in the party is for them. From whatever we know about Akash, he is a quiet guy who enjoys little things in life - not necessarily wine and a cultural show. Payal feels left out. Akash’s discomfort is visible at the party as he keeps asking Payal if she’s comfortable. 

Arnav literally has this party for himself, and he can’t party. In general, Arnav acts like an entitled dick for these two episodes. In the previous episode he makes it clear that he’s aware how Khushi might feel left out and does not invite her to the party for her own sister. He’s insensitive, callous and mocking (and surprised as to why NK and Khushi mix well?).

And I LOVE that Khushi and NK chose to hang out with each other because Arnav is almost pushing her away to another man by his ‘generous acts’. Like if these two were not soulmates and born for each other, I was a minute away from being “Yeah Khushi, I think you should date the other guy who is more sensitive to you even though he’s lived all his life in another country and knows you for like 48 hours.”

Quick note: I’m not all that aversive to NK & Khushi being a pair. Now wait a second, it might be like oh Khushi really pushes their families to think that she and NK go well together. Well… she and NK have an instant connect like no other - even in the future NK is almost always able to tell when Khushi is disturbed or when something happens that demeans Khushi’s worth in the house. 

Also, imagine this, in the shoes of Akash - if I am Khushi’s friend and I’ve seen her go through a terrible engagement, incessant insults from my older cousin, and then I see her connect with my younger cousin who actually makes Khushi smile and laugh all the time…

I don’t think it's a mystery that I’ll ship her with a man who can make her smile. And no wonder why the Sangeet performance stuns everyone. Anjali & Akash more than anyone else (because I think they were the only ones who thought there was something else between Arnav & Khushi and they put that thought in the backburner until they see that shit… whatever it was has simmered all along).  

Track Rewrite: 

I’m just realising that I don’t have many track rewrite ideas for most of the foot-in-mouth situations of ASR. The dialogue that Khushi, here, says is amazing. She literally replies to him, word for word, and makes him see his own hypocrisy and also highlights that he’s furious about something else - that he does not want to accept, as usual. 

She states, in between lines, that she has given up reading his mind and trying to be gentle to him when he, frankly, doesn’t deserve that treatment. If anything, their sangeet rivalry and the win-lose situation just gets to my nerves at one point.

Head-canon: 

NK openly flirts with Khushi more on seeing how interested Nannav is with Khushi. NK never regards Khushi as his sister-in-law, for him Khushi always remains as his best friend and as the woman he understands best which he not-so-lightly rubs against Nannav’s face every now and then. He truly loves Khushi, but as a friend. It’s a pure, true friendship between Khushi and NK.

Public Service Announcement: 

Before planning a party please make sure you have a survey on what the people actually want in the party, especially if it's hosted for them. A party is not a party if you’re the only one enjoying it.

#7 “It is so sad Khushi, ki Akash ka phone mere paas hai.” (S6, E19-21)

“It is so Khushi, that I have Akash’s phone with me.” Arnav, holding Akash’s phone while Khushi frantically dials Akash to ask if he knowingly signed the divorce papers, and make him aware of the same. Arnav makes Khushi think it’s Akash’s divorce papers - Akash actually signed some random office papers. 

First Reaction: I know the context of everything but that was a low blow. I KNOW ARNAV DOESN’T KNOW HIS KHUSHI BABY IS INNOCENT but somehow this part is tough to digest.

What’s wrong with it: 

Abuse of power - as simple as that. Of course we’re all immediately swayed to Khushi’s feelings because we know she’s an innocent bub. But to Arnav she’s the woman who’s breaking his sister’s house so he probably feels justified in torturing her with the idea of breaking her sister’s house. I get it, it’s a tit for tat situation. 

But if we’re thinking deeply, this is not just an average argument that they always have - Khushi literally is going through a mental breakdown to stop Payal. This could have easily gone out of hand. Just saying.

Track Rewrite: 

A necessary evil to establish the tighthold Arnav has on Khushi regarding the marriage. I don’t appreciate the immediate comedy, romance or smugness that follows. The scenes are great - individually. But BUT BUT I feel this event would trigger a more serious reaction from Khushi because she has always been very serious when it’s about her sister.

If I had to rewrite this, everything happens the way it is but instead of the childish thing of her jumping into the pool (I know she’s childish but we have infinite opportunities in the future to prove that), she would grow very serious and threaten Arnav to never, ever touch her sister’s marriage. 

I would assume she would become very serious for a few days, and then resume to her usual antics. Arnav’s anger is well justified - on one hand Khushi has the galls to threaten him about her sister’s marriage when she’s breaking his, on the other hand he also would never do any damage to Akash’s marriage.

Head-canon: 

Bua ji, for as much as she’s crossed with Khushi, actually had a wedding trousseau for Khushi (she starts wearing all the anarkalis and salwar kameez post this trip to Gupta House). There’s actually a very emotional moment between Khushi and Bua ji where Bua ji tells her she bought new clothes for Khushi when they were buying things for Payal. 

So yeah, just an emotional, almost mother-daughter bond between Khushi and Bua ji where the latter expresses her disappointment in the way Khushi married but also loves her beyond everything. 

Here Bua ji says that she’s upset with Khushi because she’s their own, if not she won’t have even bothered. Also, Garima and Bua ji have a talk in between where they miss Khushi immensely and find it difficult to live in a house without the two daughters. 

Garima and Bua ji have a mature talk, as adults, wondering if what Khushi did was a return to what they did to Khushi and then they receive Anjali’s call to attend Holi.

Public Service Announcement: 

Don’t manipulate! Also, always check with your spouse for any assumptions you might have against them :) Communication is key. For more enquiries about relationship troubles regarding assumed infidelity or hiding secrets - contact Dr. Jalebi S, your own sweet relationship expert. But yes, don’t hide stuff from your partner if it involves their family and DON’T MANIPULATE AND PLAY MIND GAMES!

#8 “Kitna bhi jaan lo, kabhi kabhi kisi ko pehchaan na bohot mushkil ho jaata hai. Kal raat mujhe kuch bhi nahi hua tha. Main bilkul theek tha.” (S6, E46) 

“Irrespective of how much you know someone, sometimes it can get very difficult to (truly) recognize someone. Last night, nothing happened to me. I was absolutely fine.” Arnav Irony Singh Raizada. Doesn’t the first line apply to himself too? He thinks he knows her, but he does NOT. 

First Reaction: YOU SON OF A BACHELOR! YOU WERE NOT NOT SICK! 

What’s wrong with it: 

I don’t like how Arnav’ perennially pissed with Khushi the minute he got up. Pfft, Khushi’s beautiful and seeing her wonderful face in the morning was a great moment for a Rabba Ve moment because of the sweet Rabba Ve they had the night before! I love Arnav’s discomfort in knowing how Khushi took care of him while he was asleep, while no one was there to watch. Because for him, it was crossing borders on what their marriage was beginning to seem.

And then the whole I was not sick, bleh, and then Anjali (I love her, wonderful woman) but for the life of me I couldn’t understand what in the world she was trying to explain. Because really, no way had Arnav lied to Khushi to make her feel better/less guilty.

Rather he was belittling and mocking her efforts.

There’s one thing about hiding intentions, there’s another about forcing and painting someone’s actions in a romantic light - that’s not right.

Arnav is a master at hiding his intentions. Whenever he yells at Khushi where she’s gone - it means he’s worried. When he tells Khushi he doesn’t need her help - well he actually needs it. When he’s ignoring her - he wants her to stop ignoring him, etc.

So we know Arnav when he hides intentions. Hence I felt the Anjali-Arnav scene was forcing the viewers to sympathize with Arnav and be like heh, he did that to make Khushi feel less guilty. I anyways sympathize with Arnav given the battle he’s facing internally... so this one scene felt odd.

Quick note: I have a love-hate relationship with Khushi eating all the food scenes and embarrassing him in his office with wifey behavior. Also, Arnav has a very telling body language when he lies - he speaks very fast, and does not meet her eyes and in many cases, physically turns away from her while speaking.

Track Rewrite: 

Just… let’s put the wonderful Anjali/Arnav moment somewhere else in the story where Anjali notices Arnav actually lying to make Khushi feel better. Cause Anjali does hit the nail in stating that her brother never reveals what he feels.  

Also, I love the entire Gupta House adventure that they have but there’s a part of me that wished it happened at another time.

Like if it happened at the time it did, then oh God please change what triggers the marriage reveal.

Otherwise the entire thing can happen when Arnav decides to stay in Gupta house cause Khushi won’t be coming to Raizada house (post his great “You’re the biggest mistake of my life Khushi”). In a way it would be hilarious that Arnav is trying to win Khushi back but also is facing extreme discomfort at the lack of luxury he’s become used to - classic ASR. 

And probably Khushi suffocates him with a recall to the ‘Swami’ track and makes his life a living hell in her house. Made for each other that they are.  

Head-canon: 

Arnav and Khushi get used to and look forward to having meals together. Arnav, rarely, eats alone ever again. It’s a development Nani and Anjali are very happy to see.

Public Service Announcement: 

Don’t eat all food if you have a diabetic partner. Also, don’t try to understand everything your sibling does - try questioning them instead of justifying. Try drinking coffee instead of tea if you’ve been awake all night <3

#9 “Tumhe kya lagta hai, agar tum uss raat mujhe bata deti toh kya main aankhein band karke tumpe vishwaas kar leta?” (S7, E15-17)

“What do you think, if you told me your truth that night then I would’ve believed you without a doubt?” Arnav, to Khushi, after she’s told her side of the misunderstanding. And with that, every fan’s highest hopes dashed and worst dreams came true.  

First Reaction: NO ARNAV DON’T… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

What’s wrong with it: 

He refuses to believe her. He has a choice, he has heard both sides of the story. And he refuses to believe it. But my biggest problem - Khushi pretends she has no idea what moment he’s referring to?

Girl, you’ve been forcefully hugged by Shyam only once in your life and until and unless you’re amnesiac you would remember that traumatic moment. I am just so upset that Khushi does nothing nor says anything concrete when he says he doesn’t believe her. She doesn’t say Shyam molested her.

She puts it on Arnav. That what he knows isn’t true. That he doesn’t deserve the truth, which is a good argument but state more! Then she goes silent *argh*

Her argument starts strong, but ends up terribly. She just ends up saying all the things that don’t matter!

Track Rewrite: 

Khushi should have told why she went to the terrace that night. That she thought it was he who asked her to come up. That Shyam harassed her. That Shyam has continuously harassed her. That Arnav’s not the only one who threatened the safety of Payal’s marriage - Shyam threatened it too.

No matter what Khushi did, somehow Payal’s marriage always ends up on the line. If she tells, Payal’s marriage is threatened by Shyam and because she didn’t, Payal’s marriage was threatened by Arnav.

ALSO KHUSHI APOLOGISES FOR HIDING THE TRUTH!

It should’ve been a clash of their ideologies, their personalities, her heartbreak over the fact that he doesn’t know she loves him, his disbelief that the truth is too good to be true (and essentially confusion because if Khushi loved him all along then it meant that he misunderstood her all along and he’s not great at seeing his own mistakes). She would’ve been too angry to make amends - not until she realizes he’s leaving for London and his mistake doesn’t matter.

Here’s a fic that I wrote that covers this. 

Head-canon: 

Akash and Payal are the only ones who later get to know the entire thing as this topic affected both the marriages deeply. Nani also knows, but of course not the part that he forced her to marry for six months by threatening Payal’s marriage.

Public Service Announcement: 

Lies rarely do good. And be careful to analyze any traumatic event from all angles! What’s visible is not what happens and what happens is not visible!

#10 “Khushi, tum kiraya kamkarwana chahti ho? Toh tumhe mere saath ghar aana parega.” “Nahi.” “Okay, mere paas koi choice nahi hai. Mujhe tumhara ghar girwana parega.” (S8, E21-22) 

“Khushi you want to reduce your rent? Then you to need to come home with me.” “No.” “Okay, then I have no other choice. I will have to tear down your house.” - Arnav to Khushi. The most inappropriate sentence anyone can tell to another. Given that they are husband and wife, it’s even worse. 

Quick note on the photos: Khushi Kumari Gupta, not believing the man she married in all three scenes. Arnav Singh Raizada, lying in all three scenes. 

First Reaction: 

Everybody… yeah… don’t really rock your body… yeah… Stupid. Singh. Raizada’s. Back!

Oh my God stupid Raizada is back again! Brothers sisters everybody’s sayin’…. Not really gonna bring Khushi back nor gonna show anyone anything how… *continues butchering Backstreet’s Back* I gotta question for you (yes I do ASR so) you better answer now..

Are you original? Yeah

Are you the only one? For Khushi, yeah

Are you sexual? Very, but that’s not helping… Noooo

Are you everything Khushi needs - Yes but you need to shut up.

Are you - SHUT UP AND SAY SORRY

AND MEAN IT IF YOU’RE SAYING SORRY - IN FORTY EIGHT HOURS YOU SAID SHE’S THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF HER LIFE, APOLOGISED AND FOLLOWED IT UP BY THREATENING PAYAL’S MARRIAGE, MADE HER WORK FOR YOU AND BOUGHT THE HOUSE SO YOU COULD HIKE THE HOUSE FEES AND THEN LITERALLY TOLD HER YOU CAN DRAG HER OUT OF THE HOUSE… and you think she’ll come back?

DUDE, what are you smoking?

What’s wrong with it: 

Boy… no. No. Ask NK, Nani, Payal or even Lakshmi (talk with the people who understand Khushi!) on how to appease Khushi. A part of me was really upset with this track cause although I understand that Arnav is never really gonna do a full blown redemption and they need to stay true to his character, I didn’t see how ANY of his actions would get Khushi back…

It’s not wrong that he was upset at Khushi for visiting Anjali - even I was! Like seriously, Khushi, despite her best intentions, really does make the biggest mistakes! However, implying that Khushi’s existence is the reason why Shyam cheated Anjali was shit. On top of that he calls his marriage a contract, blackmails her about Payal, is unable to wish her a happy birthday, becomes her landlord and stops all utilities (hence now blackmailing her using her family) to get her back?

I don’t see the sense. I try really hard and I’m team Arnav but for me him becoming her landlord was just flexing his money and power. It was a low blow, and it’s really not funny how he keeps threatening the peace of her family but get’s pissed off when Khushi, unintentionally, disturbs his family.

It does not matter that Arnav would essentially not carry on with his threat, to Khushi he would and that’s what matters (cuts off electricity and water to prove his point and it does cause inconvenience her family). It’s just a very unhealthy atmosphere over here. The little moments are great, independently, but apart from that I just found this to be a very troubling scene.

Track Rewrite: 

Oh I have a lot, LOT of theories for this one:

- Khushi first thinks Arnav has bought the house from her landlord so as to stop the harassment and Arnav is guilty AF because he didn’t expect that. Bua ji enters right when Arnav talks about the truth of the marriage. She hears everything, and asks Arnav to leave her house, forever. She goes all ‘Haye Re Nandkishore’ on him. DRAMA. #BuajiRoxx

- Landlord shit doesn’t happen. Khushi leaves the house, Arnav decides to stay at her house since she isn’t going back to Shantivan with the promise to reminisce all the sweetest moments she shared. Khushi kills him with the ‘Swami’ shit, again, and Arnav ends up being irritated due to lack of adjustment but also does everything possible to get Khushi back. They have their Rabba Ves and then he brings her back and gives her the sweet gifts.

- She returns home (just like in canon) but distances herself from all the Raizadas (and does not jump into making Raksha Bandhan celebration - ugh, women are not always obligated to keep their sasuraal happy)! For a few days she becomes just like Arnav - unemotional, unaffected, orderly and unexpressive. Akash, having repaired his relationship with Payal and hence having gained a deeper insight, helps Arnav overcome his marriage issues.

Head-canon: 

Khushi and Arnav have a conversation where she asks him when, where and why did he transfer the house’s papers to her name. It’s an important and tender moment. Arnav gradually comes to know Khushi married him more because it was he who proposed marriage. Khushi gradually comes to know that Arnav, never, would threaten Akash-Payal’s marriage. 

Did she accidentally come across the ‘office’ papers that Akash had signed? Did Arnav actually play a role in smoothening Akash-Payal’s relationship post the Shyam reveal - anything on those lines.  

Public Service Announcement: 

IF YOUR PARTNER ISN’T COMING BACK HOME AND YOU THINK BLACKMAIL IS A SOLUTION THEN MESSAGE DR. JALEBI/S IMMEDIATELY. YOU NEED HELP. At this point, irrespective of star crossed pyaar, I’d 9/10 recommend separation, break, counseling.

Bonus

"No you can’t. Kyunki asal zindagi main guzara karne ke liye paise chahiye hote hai. Aur paise kamane ke liye akal chahiye hoti hai. Himmat aur confidence chahiye hote hai puri duniya ka saamna karne ke liye. Apne sapne pure karne ke liye. Aur tumhe inn sab main se kuch bhi nahi hai.” (S11, E2)

“No you can’t [face the world on your own]. Because to face the real world you need need. And to earn money you need intelligence. You need bravery and confidence to face the whole whole. To fulfill your dreams. And you have none of these.” Arnav, to Khushi. The moment when Arnav forgot that Khushi was the sole breadwinner of the Gupta’s and Khushi forgot that Arnav is a multimillionaire.

First Reaction: WHAT ARE THE WRITERS DOING? WHAT IS THE CHANNEL DOING? WHAT IS ARNAV DOING? THIS LEADS TO A FASHION SHOW INSTEAD OF AN ACTUAL CHAT - WHAT IS KHUHSI DOING? WHAT AM I DOING??!! Should I stop watching the show?

What’s wrong with it: 

I really liked Arnav and Khushi’s difference of opinion when it came to raising Aarav - not where she is being stupid and asking to burst crackers (she is retracting on so many of her characteristics right now I can’t keep a track). I did not like the second half of the argument because it really took the characters several notches down on their growth/development. 

I really liked Khushi stating to Arnav that - hey, buying happiness with money can work with adults but terribly spoil children. But then what followed, without a hint of apology, into an embarrassing and terrible Fashion Pageant that completely missed the point of this argument!

Neither parent thinks it’s important to sit and have a calm chat with Aarav. Arnav is a ‘yes’ man around him. Khushi is there to heap the values instilled on her. Is anyone trying to make Aarav understand, no? And Arnav’s evident lack of respect for Khushi will translate to Aarav. 

They’re both bad at parenting and this could have been a really nice track that they could have wrapped up in a few episodes but no.

Aarav never learns. Arnav gives a half assed dialogue about ‘oh I know Khushi you’re talented’ and Khushi spends the next 10 days behaving like an 8 year old, not chatting up with Aarav about behavior issues, and thinks winning a Fashion Pageant is being courageous, talented, determined and independent.

*throws head on wall*

Track Rewrite: 

Oh I HAVE TONS but I’ll explain my favorite one. First of all, I’ll let that argument be because it is natural that this is where Arnav and Khushi might conflict. But instead of Khushi’s childish sulking that puts Arnav into a ‘oh let’s make her jealous, call her to office, appease her by some shitty ASR plan and probably apologise somewhere’ and Khushi going all ‘haww, he called me brainless, now I’ll prove so by stupidly acting like a kid in his coat’-

Arnav and Khushi stand still when they realise he has crossed a line and he storms off, leaving a very quiet Khushi alone. They both walk on eggshells, neither’s ego letting the argument down. It seriously hampers their relationship. They just don’t speak and anything small leads to a big argument. 

Khushi spends an enormous amount of time in her catering service in an attempt to prove herself, becoming a bit crazy behind earning money which makes her off character. Arnav throws himself in office, and is almost happy when he realizes Khushi’s catering service does not earn even half of his monthly profit, annually. A competitive streak drives a wedge between them. This goes on - that troubles the entire family, and stops until Aarav misbehaves with Anjali.

This breaks the ice wall between Arnav and Khushi, draws them out of their workaholic spheres. Bua ji, Payal, NK reprimand Khushi for being absent in raising Aarav, her obsession to make Aarav religious and traditional without making him understand the reason of the values and above all, competitive with her husband that she grandly declared she can’t live without. Mami, Nani, Akash reprimand Arnav for pretty much the same.

When Arnav and Khushi talk to Anjali, she again reprimands the both of them in terms of parenting, marriage and the coexistence of both. Arnav cannot buy upbringing, manners, ethics, respect and character through money. Khushi cannot instill goodness, kindness, generosity and honesty by piling beliefs of the Lord. If that was the case then her husband - who would get all the money he needed from Arnav, and believed in all the Gods - would be a good man.

Arnav and Khushi talk to their son, together, to figure out his actual problem of fitting in. Aarav is surprised to learn both his parents were orphans. He truly bonds with them after getting through his adjustment fears and issues. In teaching Aarav, Arnav and Khushi realise what truly matters - their love. And that they had forgotten how similar they were. 

With Aarav they have met another person who is just like them - alone, afraid, orphaned and lonely who’s standing at the same point in life where he either turns himself into a man with absolute belief or none at all. And with parents who have faced the extremes of fates, Aarav might just have the perfect upbringing.

Hence, Arnav and Khushi patch up with an emotional, tear jerking hug. They end up recounting each other’s stories and realize how far they’ve come along. They never had a name for their love and after all the hatred, denial, lust, acceptance, confession, purity, marriage and parenthood - no one name’s going to fit either.

Head-canon: 

Aarav, although behaviorally like his father, grows up to be a complete Mumma’s boy. If anyone thought Arnav is super protective about Khushi, well Aarav is ten times more protective about his mother. Also, internally Aarav is a big fan of Hindi cinema, loves sweets and has the most outrageous dance moves. But he’s also an introvert so he would kill anyone who pointed out on those.

Public Service Announcement: 

Adopt children when you are ready. Having a child can take toll on a marriage so COMMUNICATE - COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR SPOUSE, YOUR CHILD AND YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM!

Phew, this is the end of this post and I sincerely hope you liked it! Feel free to send your thoughts through asks/notes/etc. 

[a-woman-apart]

Astrological Compatibility

After experiencing all that I have this year, I definitely believe that astrology does play a role in compatibility, in the sense that astrology is a pseudoscience based around how time of birth, planetary cycles, and place of birth affect personality. It was developed by human beings at a time when scientific methods of interpreting data were not developed to where they are today. 

If we take a look at how this might play out from a more scientific perspective, think of the “nature vs. nurture” argument. Nature applies to traits that develop either from genetics or during fetal developmental. Nurture applies to external social and developmental factors that contribute to personality after birth. 

There does seem to be a correlation between what season and month people were born in and certain personality traits. It is definitely true that levels of sunlight can have a huge impact on human health and development, but light exposure and seasons can be vastly different across the globe (especially in moving closer and farther away from the equator), which is probably why detailed astrological charts involve looking at birthplace. 

It also provides perspective on why there are differences between the Western and Chinese Zodiacs but there are still some similarities in the way traits are applied. For example, in the Western Zodiac we have “Earth, Air, Fire, and Water” and in the Chinese Zodiac we have “Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, and Water” because human beings across cultures understand how valuable these elements were to our survival. 

Human beings are pattern-seeking creatures, so it isn’t any surprise that they personified these elements and began correlating them to aspects of human personality. It was just another way of trying to make sense of the world, and I am not surprised that when astrologers examined the natural world and the cosmos (as better astronomical tools became available) they began to make connections between children born in certain seasons and certain personality traits, and I don’t believe the correlation is completely nonexistent. 

The issue we see is that some people tend to think that personality is a fixed thing, and that when someone is born a certain way [nature] their traits are entirely resistant to change [underemphasizing nurture]. 

Even if astrology can offer us some predictors about how a person’s character might develop, we have to remember that personality has nothing to do with whether someone is a “good” or “bad” person. Some people may be more or less outgoing than others, more or less athletic, more or less organized, more or less playful, and more or less “nice” than other people, but that has nothing to do with their morality or ability to be a good romantic partner, friend, sibling, or parent. 

The strength of a relationship is almost entirely dependent on the values of the parties involved.

Whether “star-crossed” or “star-aligned”, the strength of peoples’ relationships is entirely dependent on whether or not they are based on honesty, mutual respect, and compassion. We all know that some people we love have habits that may occasionally-- or frequently-- grate on our nerves, but our choice on whether to continue living with and loving that person is rarely just down to personality. 

We all have that person in our lives with a grinchy, McScrooge disposition, but we love them because they keep their word and you know deep down that they’ve got a good heart even if they don’t always show affection as easily as other people do. 

We also all know someone that is the life of the party, loud, fun, almost obnoxious in their zest for life, but we wouldn’t trust them as far as we could throw them when it comes to any major responsibility. But we still love them anyway. 

And with have to admit to ourselves, that sometimes love is not enough.

Love is never an excuse to allow someone to run roughshod over your boundaries, devalue your ideas, and monopolize your time. Love alone will not save any relationship where either party lacks respect, trust, and compassion.

After ending many relationships this year (including one that I held in very high value) I found out that it isn’t about personality. “Ugh, she’s such a Virgo!” is not a mature answer for why you can’t get along with your best friend, boss, or mother. 

I know that Kati Morton used to say “some relationships are bad recipes” and I don’t really believe that anymore. I don’t really believe that people share mutual blame like that for why things fall apart. It’s fine to admit that someone annoys you or gets on your nerves, but when there is that much bad blood with someone you used to be associated with, I think that boundary violations-- either on your part or theirs-- are to blame. 

I used to lean towards a belief in “star matches” but now I truly believe there are no incompatible signs.   

I know that I tend to lack romantic chemistry with most of my fellow Air nomads, but I always have amazing conversations and a kind of instant connection. I know that from experience, Water signs are amazing listeners. I know that I tend to have a shared drive with so many Earth signs, and that Fire signs have a unique capability to humor and delight. 

Fire signs can also burn your whole life down if you let them. Water signs can be secretive and vindictive. Earth signs can be so stubborn that they won’t admit a single flaw. Air signs can be unreliable and aloof. 

But guess what? So can everyone, because we all have aspects of each element inside of us. Leaning a certain way does not make us more or less bad or good. It just makes us human. 

As I reflect on my experiences this year, I am far more interested in how systems of meaning develop, than the systems themselves. Astrology, just like religion, was developed by humans who desperately wanted to provide an explanation for the mysterious workings of the cosmos, our planet, and the human heart. I think whether or not astrology is “real” is far less important than the history and traditions associated with it. 

Each of the signs in the Western Zodiac has a unique mythological creature and story attached to it. It was only this year that I found out that Capricorn is represented by a half-goat, half-fish creature (essentially a mergoat), and I learned that my sign (Libra) was only introduced into the zodiac later, because there was too much intensity going on between The Virgin (Virgo) and Scorpio (the Scorpion, duh) and Libra was brought in to balance things out. That is the reason why Librans are the only members of the zodiac family to not be represented by a living creature. 

I also found out that this might’ve been part of it because human beings have been liking the number 12 for a good minute, so we had to even out that odd 11 sooner or later. In my numerological deep dive I also found out that Romans were freaked out by the number 17, because it was written “XVII” and that, along with the fact that it was a weird prime number, really upset their sense of symmetry. In general it seems humans are not fond of numbers that cannot be divided by anything other than 1 and itself. So 9 is in, but 13 is out, and its probably more this, rather than the fact that we don’t want a snake sign in the Zodiac, that so many astrologers soundly refuse to recognize Ophiuchus. Obviously we make an exception for 0 (both a number and not a number) and also 1 and 2.  

I “wiki-walked” more and found out that a number of prominent musicians have superstitions regarding numbers, probably because our profession is way more about keeping time and counting than most people realize. 

Also, it’s been fascinating to find out about “the ages” which require incredible math to calculate. We are apparently just beginning the “Age of Aquarius” and a lot of changes that were predicted using past data seem to be “coming to pass.” 

Full disclosure: you can’t use astrology to predict the future of the planet anymore than you can the future of your relationship.

I use astrology to help me understand the past, but I do not trust the validity of horoscopes because it is impossible to know the future. I have developed a saying “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it echoes.” Economists, political analysists, climate scientists, and other experts in their field do not make their predictions based on “hunches” or mysterious esoteric knowledge, they make their predictions based on interpretation of data, and even if these predictions can be incredibly accurate, they are not completely infallible. 

In other words, you aren’t going to experience relationship troubles during “Mercury in retrograde” unless you expect and believe you will, or some other unrelated event causes it. The only difference then is that because you were hypervigilant, you shifted your own behavior in a way that exacerbated the issues, i.e. “a self-fulfilling prophecy.” 

If your marriage or friendship is failing, “astrological differences” likely aren’t the main culprit. Similarly, you should never dismiss your intuition that something is wrong just because your horoscope said, “You will find true love in December” and that is when you found it. That’s called a coincidence, and they’re everywhere. Trust yourself and trust your instincts. Your own personal patterns matters much more than what a stranger or an algorithm has predicted about you. Don’t try to “follow the signs”, test things out and see if things you find in your chart actually line up with what you’ve been experiencing. 

I really do believe in some kind of carnal divinity, a common life-energy that is connecting all living beings to one another. Don’t let your natural light and vitality be dimmed by people who enjoy burying their own light under a bushel. It isn’t a matter of “good” and “evil” in so many cases, but it really is about what kind of life each person wants and/or is willing to tolerate. 

That beings said, welcome to Sagittarius season! I hope you all find your inner flame archer and ride on your metaphorical horse legs right into your destiny. 

[2ofswords]

003 lara

How I feel about this character:  I love Lara! (Okay, yeah maybe I’m repeating myself, but I love a lot of these characters, okay?) She is one of my favorites and just the entire atmosphere of the shelter is so amazing and she is such an interesting character and so cool and strict at the same time and her sorrow is so tangible and her whole endeavor to help so sympathetic and compelling and urgh! I love my girl!

All the people I ship romantically with this character:  Oh dear… A lot of people. Lara/Eva: This one is just super cute and I think the both could really help each other! They’re both searching for their role in live and I think the other persons perspective could be really interesting for them. Also they both deserve a caring partner. Lara/Rubin: They both have a very aggressive way of caring, which could be super cute as well as hilarious. They are both so hard working and I could see them both having a lot of respect for this attitude and this “no words, no bullshit, only good deeds” thing. Sure as hell a power couple. Bi rights, everyone! Lara/Aspity: Okay, that one would obviously need for Lara to work through her racism bullshit, but I believe in her. And I think this pairing has a lot of potential. They’re literally so far apart from each other (both in the town’s placement as well as what this placement represents) but share a lot of beliefs with each other. They both have a shelter for people who need it and show compassion for those the rest of the town doesn’t think of. They also both (again) have the attitude of deeds over words (they even are the only ones with the “words without deeds fill a garden with naught but weeds” voiceline) and I think they would be a very interesting fit. Lara/Yulia: Troubled exes, baby! Okay, I just love two headstrong people bickering over their worldview. And Yulia as well as Lara obviously care and respect each other but have so different ways of thinking. (And the statement of Lara, that she thinks she’s cool but just hates the way she thinks and thinks she would be so amazing otherwise… gold.) I just love a good clash of ideology and there’s much to gain here! Lara/Artemy: More bi people. This is a milder one, but I think they’re cute together. They definitely care about each other and Lara can give Artemy the help and calm he needs. They also do understand each other’s sorrows. They’re very cute platonically as well, but even as my other ships with both of them are stronger, I think this one works either well without losing anything.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:  I will be honest, I would love to just put Lara+Artemy here, since I still love it platonically a bit more. The question above just told me to list all my ships and not only the one, I was specifically excited about… But I would be a fool, if I would not mention Grief, the last apple basket member, who I do not ship with Lara romantically but who should definitely be mentioned as a friend. I love his chaotic but good natured energy in contrast to Lara’s strict but caring attitude and I can see them as kids, where Grief would propose something stupid that Lara would sass but still get along with.

My unpopular opinion about this character:  It’s probably not an “unpopular opinion” but it’s a hot take about something I’ve seen. I really don’t think Lara is only the “token female” in the apple basket group and criticising her for being in it at all seems kind of sketchy to me, especially if the people magically only ship Rubin/Grief for the gang and Artemy with Daniil (or someone else not in the friend-group), so that there is no room for her in the interaction. Like… you do you and shipping them is fun and stuff, that’s not my problem at all. But maybe the reason you feel like she doesn’t have a place in the group and adds nothing is not because of the game at this point. Please don’t act like you can just abandon Lara and call her a “bad fit” to the group, she is her own character with her own agency and her own plot and her own reason to be in the apple basket gang as well as her own influence on the group dynamic. She is the one to tell Rubin off when he blames Artemy and he actually thinks that she was the one to gather everyone. She is the one actually reconciling with Grief and standing next to him in the post Diurnal end, while Rubin is keeping his distance. She is the one trying to protect everyone from taking the blame when she tries to shoot Block. She is the one, whose reflection reminisces of their old childhood friendship and reminds you of your bonds and how the group is connected through letting actions guide them. If you don’t like her, sure. People can like or not like whatever they want and there are other reasons to not want to engage with her. But it might not be the best look to use her being female specifically to defy her being a valid member of the gang. She isn’t just a token female character, because she’s so much more than that just by her agency in the narrative alone! She clearly adds to the group dynamic and the plot, so she the argument just doesn’t hold up. Yeah having only one female in the friend group is a bit cliche (especially when gay table seems to suffer from the same problem) but criticizing that female character for it – especially if she actually adds to the dynamic – is not the solution! You can engage with her, I believe in you!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: As with all parts of the apple basket gang, addressing her racism properly and at least giving like one of them the chance to realize the shittyness of it would have been great and actually necessary. There isn’t even a chance to address it properly and that’s a real problem. I also miss the female aristocrats gang and their mischief, especially through the whole Block assassination questline. Maybe we’ll get more of that in another route though, that would be great!

My OTP: Lara/Rubin. Without a doubt. I think they’re a great fit for each other ^^

My OT3: Hm… I don’t have a set one. If we’re talking Patho1, I could see Lara/Yulia/Anna. Lady aristocrats are for each other (Sorry, I’m not over this term, thanks Yulia!) I’m trying to think of something with Lara and Eva, since I think Eva would be so open for a threesome. Maybe Lara/Eva/Yulia could be fun, but holy, Eva would have to mediate! “I love my two girlfriends” she said while said girlfriends had an aggressive make-out over some stupid debate.

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #165

Summer shenanigans are a staple of the manga and anime work, though how much you can expect the clichés to actually happen depends on how much effort you’re willing to put into making it a reality. Fact is, summer is never as fantastical or memorable as we’d like to dream. You only get three(in Japan) high school summers in one lifetime. But as they say, it’s who you spend it with, not what, that will stick around with you. 

Chapter 165: Because I’m Not Popular, I’ll Enjoy My Last High School Summer Break 

Hey, if Futaki wants to be a professional gamer girl (minus the bathwater), she’s gotta stay on top of the new releases. 

Mother always knows. Always.

There’s a fine line between persuading and threatening, Katou. Just saying.

I can already see the (not totally implausible) jokes about Mako and Yoshida secretly meeting to hook up. Even though that’s 99% not what will happen, Mako’s vagueness is something to note. The way I see it, Mako doesn’t want Yuri to feel left out, so she’s downplaying the “fun” she’ll be having with Yoshida.

Or Nico Tanigawa are blatantly ship-teasing. Either or.

Nemo’s got a pretty sweet LINE avatar.

Even through her messages, Nemo is still passive-aggressive, like she expects Tomoko won’t listen to her unless she’s demanding in her tone, exclamation points and all. She still gots a way to go to meet Katou’s level of intimidation, however.

Summer school?

Oh, the beach.

The greyscale nature of the manga medium makes this beach look a lot prettier than it probably is. Those delightful memories involving washed-up stingrays sure doesn’t help. 

I’m not entirely certain just how studious Yuri is as a student, but I imagine she’s playing up the “all work, no play” angle just to free herself from Nemo.

Nemo makes a fair point. Getting too cooped up indoors where it’s comfortable can make it difficult to study, especially when you're surrounded by distractions. A change of scenery can clear your head and make it easier to retain information. 

Of course, that sort of environmental shift doesn’t work for everyone. Someone like Nemo may appreciate the summery atmosphere, but a girl like Yuri would get agitated by the heat and humidity. Having external stimuli is ideal if you’re the type who operates better when your attention is dispersed. But for those that need to be focused on a single task to complete, it can be quite difficult.

Next time on Mythbusters...

But in all seriousness, I would like to see if there have been any real-life studies on certain sounds–waves in this case–improving one’s ability to concentrate and overall performance. My amateurish theory is that a lot of that “improvement” is a result of the placebo effect, or that there are otherwise too many extraneous factors to make a clear correlation.

In that respect, I think Yuri and Nemo’s arguments are both valid.  

A recent trend I’ve been noticing with Yuri is that she looks to Tomoko for validation. She acknowledges that they’re not the same, but having Tomoko back her up probably makes her feel more confident in her opinions, if for nothing more than having an equal-to-majority rule.

Of course, when Tomoko does disagree with her, that’s when Yuri has to either stubbornly stick to her guns, or honestly reassess herself. And thanks to the beauty of character development, the latter’s been happening more at a healthy pace.

OUCH.

It pains me to see Okada call out Yuri like that.

It pains me even more that you can’t really call out Okada for it, either.

Introverts are generally self-conscious about the very traits they embody, even when it’s that’s their comfort zone. Much like how an otaku will get uncomfortable when non-otakus hype them up. Sure, Okada probably meant it as a compliment when she called Yuri talkative, but it’s based on the idea that Yuri’s quiet nature was an incorrect assumption, which can feel kind of demoralizing.

It’s not an easy thing to address, and I’m curious to see how they’ll work through it going forward. 

Quick, someone go update their Wiki pages!. 

Reality ensues. All those amazing anime-esque summer plans can be deterred by something as simple as unreliable weather.  

Although, having to make your own wave sounds kind of defeats the purpose of being there, doesn’t it, Nemo?

Now playing...”Eroge BGM” Playlist.

Set on autoplay.

I’m glad that no one’s complaining about translating this text, cause let’s get real. The amount of redraws that would take is ridiculous, especially for an unofficial translation. 

If you think that I’m going to screencap every image of Yuri smiling just so we can bask in her cuteness...

You’d be absolutely correct.

Oooh man, this is arguably worse than calling out the quiet kid as “talkative”. At least during that time, it could pass as just an innocent observation. But being able to smile is one of those things they supposedly instill in you during primary school. Bringing it up like that suggests that Yuri is a child who purposely tries to hide her smiles. Again, Okada meant no harm, obviously, but if they’re going to push for an OkadaxYuri friendship, there’s going to be a lot of hoops to go through.

Tomoko may have opened her mind up more about the negative stereotypes about “normies”, but the positive stereotypes still persist. In this case, it’s the idea that her more sociable peers would enjoy school simply because they can hang out with their friends. Little did she know, that’s often not the case...

PINEAPPLE-CHAN DEVELOPMENT, BABY!

Ahem, pardon my outburst, but I’ve got a lot to say about this. We’ve known for a long time now that Okada is part of the “semi-in-crowd”, and it was easy to assume that all her socializing–going to karaoke for example–were just things she always enjoyed.

But what if it wasn’t. From what Okada’s implying, she sometimes ends up hanging out with people that she would rather not. Perhaps its a friend-of-a-friend type of struggle, where she hangs with people she doesn’t really like out of politeness for a mutual friend. And even if Okada is harboring a few dark thoughts, there’s plenty of reasons to not like going to school, as she said. As someone who’s relatively extroverted, having to work through the more solitary parts of school like studying can be especially difficult.

In short, hidden depths are great.

I can’t really blame you, Tomoko. When you secretly put people on a pedestal like that, it’s hard to acknowledge their human sides that show how they struggle with everyday problems just like anyone else. Even the most well-adjusted of people have their share of frustrations. 

This was totally Nemo’s plan all along.

All these panel shots of Yuri off to the side while everyone else gallivants fills me with those paternal feelings of a father wanting their daughter to make friends. It goes against everything I know about Yuri’s character, but I guess you shouldn’t underestimate the power of moe.    

This is a pretty good example of the line that separates Tomoko and Yuri. They have very similar perspectives, but it’s Tomoko’s status as an introverted extrovert that allows her to go in the ocean, while Yuri’s extroverted introvert personality lets her stay on the sidelines. 

Poor Beach-kun is not having a good day.

So even the others are noticing how Tomoko is like Yuri’s social floatation device.

Another person probably would’ve taken the sentimental route, going on about “saving these precious memories” or “I want you to experience this with us”. The kind of things Yuu-chan would say.

Thing is, Tomoko would get too embarrassed saying that touching crap, so she has to go the indirect route instead. Using pseudo-logic so she doesn’t have to exaggerate her emotions (which are there, just more reserved). 

Either way, it still sounds vaguely creepy coming from her.

Thankfully, it actually works here because Yuri has trouble articulating her emotions, too. Tomoko probably knows subconsciously that touching crap doesn’t work on Yuri, so it makes a great deal of sense that Yuri would be more responsive to dumb logic. Especially if it’s from her loveably dumb friend.

I can get used to Tomoko and Yuri unknowingly showing Nemo up.

Off in the distance...

“Getting tangled up in gross seaweed so you can spread your own grossness to other girls? Gross!”

Okay, so I know Tomoko is probably just genuinely startled by what's happening here, but you can’t tell me that her face doesn’t scream, “NOW’S MY CHANCE FOR A GROPIN’!”

lewd.

Okay, let’s be honest. I’ve watched enough anime to know that shots like this are easy fodder for fanservice. Conveniently transparent wet uniforms, amirite? And to be frank, I don’t think the mangakas are totally playing the innocent game. Sure, it’s not as blatantly objectifying as a lot of other series tend to do in scenes like this, but the posing of the girls and angle of the camera just seems too opportune to be anything but deliberate. Be careful when walking that fine line, Nico Tanigawa.

On a more positive note, I’m glad Tomoko’s first instinct was just to help them up. Though heaven knows she’s gonna milk this for all it’s worth back home.

Oh, Yuri and your accountability issues.

When life gives you lemons...you know the rest.

The best part about watching the crazy shenanigans you see in anime is that you can omit all the boring and troublesome real-life consequences. So yeah, accidentally getting splashed by beach water may seem fun in the moment, but the annoyance of having to wash your clothes afterward just isn’t worth it.

Sometimes, summer just won’t give you a break. 

Yes. Yes, you did.

Ignoring Tomoko’s embarrassed (or lewd–it’s kind of interchangeable) expression, this is probably the most wholesome summer chapter is the series’ run. That’s not to say that the chapter is “unrealistic” in any way. Sure, the end shot of all four of them reeks of 4-girl slice-of-life moe, but it actually deconstructs it a little. Instead of a fun memory, the memory itself is decidedly bothersome and more trouble than it’s worth, but there’s a sense of enjoyment to be gained from that. As Tomoko once implied, doing stupid, embarrassing things isn’t so bad when you can share in the experience. There’s a reason for the saying, “A few years from now, we’re gonna laugh at this,” after all.  

It may be Tomoko’s final summer in high school, but it will most certainly be her fondest.

[kcwcommentary]

VLD8x01 – “Launch Date”

8x01 – “Launch Date”

First episode of the last season. This is probably the most romance-centered episode this show has ever done. And, this is the only episode solely written by Lauren Montgomery. The episode is clearly intended to be funny, but I didn’t laugh at much.

There are a lot of issues that can be discussed about this episode, about its own contents, especially the Allura-Lance romance, and about the episode’s relationship to the rest of the series. There’s a lot in this episode that bothers me.

The episode begins with some kind of meta commentary from this show about the original Voltron. I can understand VLD doing something like this as an homage to the original, but I, having not watched much of the original, don’t know if this particular homage works or not. Pidge is watching a cartoon that is, in-story, a production that has been made in wake of humanity learning about the existence of and being saved by Voltron last season. The show Pidge is watching is a short clip from the original Voltron animation.

In a medical bay, faceless medical personnel (I thought their faceless visual design last season was creepy then too) are tending to the Altean found in the wreckage of the mecha from the end of last season. Allura is watching from outside the room, and Romelle steps up to her, saying, “You know, back on the Colony, Luca and I didn’t always get along.” So, Romelle knows who this Altean is. Romelle gives us an expositional assessment of what Luca’s supposed qualities were, “inner strength,” “a desire to be a part of something greater than herself.”

The show presented the culture of the Colony to be very much a cult, but the show hasn’t really followed up with that and examined Romelle from that perspective. She’s just now become another regular Altean without really having to do anything to change. Even if she was the least cultish of the Colony Alteans, she still would most likely have to wrestle with the effects of growing up in a cult. This show has never demonstrated itself to be capable of dealing with big, heavy topics like that, so I don’t know why I would expect them to do so.

Allura responds to Romelle, “If she was so desperate for something to believe in, it may have made her susceptible to being manipulated.” The show has never given us any conversation between Allura and Romelle for the two of them to discuss what the Colony was like. Does Allura even realize that the Colony was a cult? Romelle’s characterization of Luca almost has a propagandistic quality to it. That description very much can apply to someone who has always been a zealot, then and now.

Hunk and his parents (and Sal from Vrepit Sal’s in the background) are in what looks like a mess hall. It’s a short, overly saccharine moment. “Your father and I are just so proud of you, saving the universe and all,” his mother says. That line feels so unnatural.

Hunk sits down with Lance, who’s clearly mentally elsewhere. Hunk expositions that the following day is the titular launch date. Launch Date also serves as a pun referencing the date that Lance and Allura go on in this episode. It’s more thought than most of this show’s episode titles get, and I kind of like it. At first, I thought Hunk could tell Lance was upset and was trying to distract him. Hunk riffs on the difference between the characters in VLD and the characters in the in-story TV show that Pidge was watching. But then when Hunk talks about the TV show hinting a romance between Keith and Allura, Lance reacts with instant, angry jealousy. Is Hunk really that oblivious and unable (or unwilling) to recognize his supposed friend Lance’s emotional state?

Hunk eventually realizes that Lance is talking about something real, “Oh, that’s right, you said you were going to ask Allura on a date. You asked her, didn’t you? Oh, and she said, no. And here I am rubbing your face in it.” Lance says she didn’t say no because he never asked her. Is this supposed to be demonstrating character growth for Lance? The guy who literally flirted with Allura the first time he ever spoke to her is too unwilling to ask her out now? It feels out of character for him. He’s been super open and publicly demonstrative of his interest in Allura before now.

Shiro is leading a “final briefing” before the launch tomorrow. At the end of the meeting, Shiro says, “It’s our last night on Earth, and we’ve got a lot of hard work ahead of us. We may not be back home for years, so I’m ordering you to take some time for yourselves. Be with the ones you love. You’ve earned it.” Of course, what he says makes sense. What bothers me is that this show wrote him to say it, but we don’t get to see him doing it. The only person Shiro has that could count as a loved one is Keith with their previously depicted but now ignored friendship. And it’s not like Keith was busy with someone else this night because the show eventually reveals he’s just sitting alone on top of the Black Lion with Cosmo. Why in the world did Shiro and Keith not hang out together? It makes it feel like the EPs and writers of this show, because they revealed Shiro to be gay, became too afraid to have Shiro have any friendships, including ones that had already been established.

Lance goes to ask Allura out, and he’s uncharacteristically shy and dorky around her. If this had been how Lance behaved for most of the show, his interest in Allura throughout the show might not have been so obnoxious. But because he so specifically was overbearing in his flirtation and aggressive in his jealousy, the way he’s behaving now does not feel consistent with how he’s been written before. Lance is so casual that Allura says she has to get back to what she’s busy with, and Lance lets it be until Hunk literally kicks him into Allura. Lance then finally, with a tremendous amount of hesitancy, asks her out. He asks her to come have dinner with his family. Allura says she can’t, but Romelle pushes her to do it. The instant that Romelle starts to talk Allura into it, Lance seems to return to his regular overly aggressive self. What happened to him so fast?

Especially with this season added to the show, it really feels like the creative team never really could settle on how they wanted to depict Lance. They had the one-characteristic bullet-point that they’ve used to describe him in-show before and do so again here: “Loverboy.” They knew they wanted him to fit under that label, but they couldn’t elaborate on what that would mean for him specifically, so he’s written inconsistently throughout the show because of the creative team’s inability to unify behind any detailed description of who he is. It’s disappointing because Lance could have been such an amazing character. There were definitely times where he could have been used to examine some big issues, particularly if the show had ever had him grow out of his insecurities to a place of confidence. But aside from this episode and once with Keith in 3x06 “Tailing a Comet,” Lance hasn’t really made his insecurities public. And in having him get with Allura, the show kind of feels like it’s discarding his insecurities entirely. That sends a dangerous message: that it’s a woman’s responsibility to make a man feel secure in himself.

That’s one of the biggest issues with the show writing Lance and Allura ending up together. Throughout the show Lance has expressed interest in Allura, while she has repeatedly demonstrated no interest in him. There has been a little bit of movement on Allura’s part toward interest in Lance: 6x01 “Omega Shield” when Allura left her Lion to go to Lance’s and use her magic to heal him (though some viewers think so, I am not of the opinion that Lance died in that episode), and then in 7x10 “Heart of the Lion” when Allura initiates a brief conversation with Lance before going on a mission. There hasn’t been any movement on Lance’s part to consciously recognize his prior overbearing behavior to have been inappropriate and him changing the way he behaves toward Allura as a result. Because of this, the show effectively gave validity to the argument behind the Nice Guy trope. That all guys have to do to receive the attention of a girl they’re interested in is keep at her until eventually she realizes he is what she’s wanted all along. This show never criticizes Lance for this behavior, and instead rewards him for it. It’s a dangerous message for this show to send its younger male audience because it teaches them to not respect when a girl/woman tells them no. I’m not against the premise of an Allura-Lance relationship, but it really needed to address Lance’s overbearing flirtatiousness and jealousy (or better yet, not have written Lance to have been so jealous in the first place).

Pidge is working with Beezer in a hydroponics room. Allura and Romelle come in to ask for help preparing for Allura’s date with Lance. Romelle specifically asks about clothes. Pidge reacts, “A date? With Lance? Weird.” What’s weird is that line. Why would Pidge think it was weird? The show never actually explains Pidge’s reaction here. Allura asks Pidge to help her get a date outfit, and that’s when Pidge’s mother speaks to mock Pidge’s clothing. Pidge suggests the mall, but she says she can’t go because she’s grounded.

Colleen says, “She’s grounded because apparently my daughter thinks that running away from home and galivanting off into space without her mother’s permission is an acceptable activity for a 15-year-old.” The show thinks Colleen’s statement is funny. It’s not funny at all. One, who is Colleen to speak, considering that she should be in prison along with Sam for breaking the law in 7x07 “The Last Stand Part 1.” Two, how are we viewers supposed to think Colleen has any credibility when she says Pidge has been “galivanting off into space?” Does Colleen not remember Earth being invaded and occupied by aliens for three years? Does she not realize the danger her daughter has been in while trying to fight this war against the Galra? Does she not realize that without Pidge’s actions, Matt and Sam wouldn’t have ever come home? “Galivanting off into space,” why in the world did they think it was okay to write Colleen like this? I think this demonstrates a big part of what has been wrong with the writing for most of this show: This show has been more interested in writing particular moments without any concern with how those moments clash and conflict with previous writing. There is no way that a mother would react upon learning their child had been fighting a war by acting like that child was running around having fun the way Colleen does here.

Pidge rants and screams at her mom. There is a justification to Pidge’s reaction, but the scene plays her anger for humor. And then the scene, again, thinking it’s funny, has Colleen’s eyes and voice affected evilly as she says, “Not on your life, young lady.” Colleen scares Beezer in the process. It’s disturbing that the creative team for this show thought this was funny.

Allura asks Colleen to please let Pidge help her, and Colleen instantly switches, saying, “Alright, but only because I know how much Katie hates shopping for clothing.” Ugh.

The show could have had a really good moment, had they chosen to do so, in having Colleen and Pidge talk about Pidge’s experience and Colleen’s worry over her whole family being missing. There is emotionally significant content to what this family has gone through. But the show never had the skill to deal with any content like that. Instead, they have a weird, jarring “humor” scene like this instead. It just does not work.

Sam is told that Luca is conscious. And it’s a really short scene.

In addition to Pidge, Allura and Romelle have the female MFE pilots join them shopping too. I can’t help but feel that this episode is totally reinforcing stereotypical female behavior. The girls are going shopping for clothes for a date. This episode is a severe reinforcement of traditionalized gender norms, and it feels like the show wanted to write and depict the stereotype, like they thought actively including the stereotype was somehow interesting. It’s not. It’s actually kind of cliché.

Rizavi says that she “loves shopping.” This is the closest thing to being a characteristic that this show has given Rizavi so far. Leifsdottir replies, “It’s a primal urge from when collecting and gathering was a means of survival.” Well, that’s a hypothesis, but it is still gender reductive.

Pidge sees a video game some street vender has on display. Rizavi is also interested. The vender wants to barter, and Pidge and Rizavi are seemingly baffled by the idea. Did they not come prepared to shop? Is it specifically that this guy wants to barter? No one offers him money though, so it’s like they have no way to shop at all. Rizavi tries to guilt the guy into giving it to Pidge because of Pidge being a Paladin. I didn’t realize abusing a position of power like Rizavi is trying to do here, was a heroic way to behave. The vender only knows of the Paladins through the TV show. It was only a few months ago that Voltron helped liberate Earth, and the Paladins’ involvement was very publicly referenced, so his only thinking of the Paladins as a TV show is unrealistic. The vender offers her the game because his daughter loves the TV show and he’d like an autograph. Pidge then starts affecting her voice like the character in the TV show. It’s so weird. Rather than actually sign an autograph, Pidge draws her face. She then continues to use this method to acquire things throughout their shopping. She’s using people thinking of her as the actor on the show rather than as herself, so this is all fraud. Is the entire Holt family made up of criminals?

The show clearly thinks this is all funny. I’m not even slightly laughing. It’s just weird.

Meanwhile, Lance goes to talk to Coran. Lance tells Coran that he’s going on a date with Allura, and Coran is instantly aggressive, dismissing Lance for not being royalty nor Altean. Who knew Coran was both classist and racist. Lance says that he doesn’t think Allura thinks like that, and Coran responds, “It’s not just about Allura. Did you even acquire permission from her primary guardian?” Ugh! This episode really is putting a lot of effort into not just reinforcing traditionalized gender norms but into those norms being fundamentally patriarchal. The idea that a boy has to ask an older male who controls a young woman if he’s okay with the boy dating the girl is absolutely patriarchal. And this episode was written by Lauren Montgomery. The show can’t even hide behind saying it was some ignorant straight, white guy who wrote this. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that Lauren Montgomery has said that killing Allura was a feminist act of writing if this episode is what she wrote in her one, solo writing credit for the show.

The only thing that’s even slightly interesting to me about this scene is that Coran redressed his room to include a giant portrait of himself and Alfor above the mantle. During the time before season seven when I would let myself dream about the idea that this show might include a character who wasn’t straight, I actually thought they might could do so by having Coran having been attracted to Alfor but never acting on it. It would be a way for this show, like other shows have done, to claim inclusion without actually having to do any real inclusion by depicting any non-straight character interaction. It would have been cheap and the bare minimum of inclusion, but I’ve lived in a homophobic world so long that it’s about as much as I expect from straight writers who pretend they care about inclusion. But then Shiro was revealed as gay, as poorly as that whole element of the show was handled, and the show proved that there are other ways to claim inclusion without really actually depicting it.

But now this leaves me questioning. Is this portrait supposed to be some subtle way the show was trying to hint at Coran being gay? Or is it just supposed to be funny without an actual thought about what it actually means? It’s like the portrait is saying that Alfor and Coran were Allura’s fathers. As much as I would have loved for Allura to canonically have had two fathers, not just one biological father and one close friend of the family who serves as a surrogate father after the real one dies, this does emphasize how this show has totally neglected to include Allura’s mother in her life. We’re in the eighth season of this show, and it’s almost like she didn’t have a mother. I know there’s a bit of illusory dream sequence in a later episode, but Allura has never spoken about her mother, so it’s like they didn’t have much of a relationship. But if they didn’t have a relationship, I still would want that detailed. As for this portrait, it feels like the show is using queer identity here as a joke gimmick. If this portrait was revealed to have a bigger, more respectful meaning, I would like it more. I like the portrait but only because of what potential I can see in how it could have been used in the show. How it actually is used, though, seems to be nothing but as a joke.

Coran makes Lance argue his qualification to be allowed to date Allura. Reinforcing the patriarchy is so much fun. Sigh.

The girls meanwhile have gotten a lot of stuff in their shopping. The clothing options they try for Allura are supposed to be funny, but it just seems like a cliché trying-on-clothing scene to me. The shopkeeper seems to be the Unilu that Coran dealt with in both 2x07 “Space Mall” and 4x04 “The Voltron Show!” Pidge tries her autograph fraud, but the guy says no. Allura says she could give him a “royal decree of service from the crowned princess of Altea,” but then seems instantly dejected, like she doesn’t see herself as the Princess of Altea anymore. There is something meta interesting about how this show has let Allura’s status of being a princess no longer have any meaning.

The Unilu sees Pidge’s game and offers the outfit for the game. Pidge gives it up for the outfit, and Allura hugs her and thanks her. I love Allura’s reaction. I don’t understand why Pidge did it though. Yeah, yeah, friendship and all that, but the episode doesn’t do anything to show this plot as being Pidge and Allura bonding with each other. Maybe if it had just been the two of them shopping, it might read like that, but with the whole group it doesn’t. It’s clear that Pidge feels she’s giving up something, but the episode fails to explain why she’s willing to do it.

Sam asks Coran if Romelle could help speak to Luca. Coran says, “I’ll see if I can find her.” This is not Coran’s voice actor speaking. I don’t have the best ear to spot moments like this when a character’s voice does not match their normal voice actor, but I know that some within the fandom have suggested there are quite a few moments like this in season eight. This is definitely one such moment. This line is not Rhys Darby’s voice. (Anyone reading this, please feel free to point out other instances this season where the voice of a character doesn’t sound like their voice actor.)

Cut to a sunset scene. The music for this sunset scene is the same as the music from 7x01 “A Little Adventure” during the flashback with Keith and Shiro watching the sunset. This is another part of why it offends me that this show didn’t have Shiro and Keith hanging out together. Shiro had told everyone to spend time with people they cared about. Here Keith is by himself when he could have been hanging out with Shiro. They’re supposed to be super close, after all. And the show has the audacity to use the music of a scene that was part of the exploration of why and how Shiro and Keith were so close, and instead now have Keith alone and joined by Lance. Maybe the reuse of the music is just more evidence of how badly produced this season was that they didn’t bother getting new music, that they didn’t think through reusing old music, ignoring how repeating themes has an explicit effect on the interpretation of a scene? I mean, after watching this show enough, analyzing what I have, reading the analysis others have written, I can’t help but to question the competence of the executive producers and their creative team. Maybe they really were ignorant of the use of music in film and video series. Or maybe in reusing this music, they were making a statement about no longer caring about the relationship between Shiro and Keith. We know that the EPs always had a preference for Keith and only ever saw Shiro as a something to have Keith narratively step on in his ascendance to the position of main character of the show. Maybe to them, this music is only Keith’s music, and they don’t recognize the music as an expression of Shiro and Keith’s relationship. Maybe using the music again here, unassociated with Shiro, was a homophobic action on part of the EPs and their creative team in trying to distance Keith from Shiro now that they had written Shiro as gay. Or maybe they just didn’t put much thought into the implications of using this music in this scene. They haven’t demonstrated themselves to be all that willing (or capable) of thinking through the implications of their creative decisions, after all.

In short, I really, really do not like this scene.

Lance is wearing pots and pans all over his body. He says Coran is making him wear it for his date with Allura. It’s supposed to be funny, but it’s not. Keith reacts, “A date? With Allura? Well done, Lance.” I’m sorry, what? The show seems to consider a guy getting a girl to say yes to him is an achievement on the guy’s part. He’s done something well by finally getting her to say yes. “Well done.” Ugh. Allura is a person, not an achievement.

Keith tries to reassure Lance that if Allura’s dating him that it’s because she likes him. This development between Lance and Allura just does not feel natural to me. It could have, but the show was too lazy to do the work to deal with the baggage that comes with having spent so long writing Lance to be hyper flirtatious and instantaneously jealous.

Keith says, “That’s why we’ve got to end this war. And we’re going to do it with the Lance who’s the Paladin of the Red Lion, the Lance that’s always got my back, and the Lance who knows exactly who he is and what he’s got to offer.” There really hasn’t been anything to explain a change in Lance no longer having a problem with Keith. It’s like once 7x06 “The Journey Within” was done, the show decided to pretend that that plot solved whatever contention there was between Lance and Keith. Part of the problem is that the show never actually explained where that contention came from. They were supposedly rivals, but why? I think their being rivals was more bullet-point characterization. The creative team never bothered to develop an explanation for themselves, so there was never anything to include in the show to explain it. Their rivalry extended no further than just saying that they were rivals. Keith says that Lance now “knows exactly who he is and what he’s got to offer,” and this sounds like they intend this to reference Lance’s insecurities, but the show has not actually resolved those insecurities. It’s just more of this show having important character stuff all occur off-screen.

The scene clearly was meant to be interpreted as emotional and demonstrating friendship between Keith and Lance, but there are too many holes in the scene for it to actually feel like that to me.

Allura arrives at Lance’s family’s house. I actually really do like the clothes Lance is wearing for this date. Allura is reduced to her appearance by both Lance’s mother and Lance himself by how energetically they comment on her appearance as she walks through the door. Their reactions to Allura are just too forceful.

Lance has on-screen identified himself as being from Cuba. I found it odd that back in 7x05 “The Ruins,” Lance calls his grandmother “meemaw” instead of abuela or abuelita. Here, he calls his grandfather “Pop Pop,” which does not seem like what a Cuban boy would call his grandfather. Veronica also calls their grandfather “Pop Pop.” I don’t know Cuban culture well at all, but even still it seems off to me. It makes it feel like Lance has only ever been Cuban in name only.

During dinner, Lance’s family spends a lot of time mocking him. This could very much be an origin for most of Lance’s insecurities. He’s clearly upset as they laugh at him. We’re told by one of Lance’s relatives that the only reason Lance is being allowed to sit at “the adult table” during this meal is because Lance invited Allura. It really doesn’t feel like Lance’s family values him. This scene is supposed to be showing to us the big love Lance felt was missing all the times throughout earlier seasons he expressed sadness over being so far apart from his family. But this doesn’t feel like a loving family to me, and Lance is not reacting in any way right now like he’s okay with how they’re behaving. His arms are crossed, and he’s scowling. They’re clearly making him feel bad. And I get the impression that we’re to interpret this as how they normally treat him. So then, if his family picks on him so much, why would he miss them so badly earlier in the show. It does not feel consistently written whatsoever.

Veronica hints to Lance that she’s interested in Keith, and Lance very loudly and animatedly objects to the idea, and it’s really weird. Did the show not just immediately prior to dinner give us a scene in which we’re supposed to interpret the rift between Lance and Keith as resolved? Where is this spastic reversal coming from?

As an aside, Lance’s mother tells Allura, “Lance never brings girls home. You must really mean something to him.” Allura says, “That’s strange. He always gave off the impression of being rather popular with women.” His mother replies, “He gets that from his father. It’s all talk. But if you can get past that, you’ll find a good boy with a big heart.” Wow. So, Lance’s father is hyper flirtatious and aggressively jealous too? That is not a healthy mentality for this show to be normalizing like it is. And to have Lance’s mother excuse that behavior like it’s okay for a man to behave that way is appalling. The line, “if you can get past that, you’ll find a good boy with a big heart,” is the show saying that it’s a woman’s responsibility to make herself not have a problem with a guy who flirts with nearly every woman he sees and gets aggressively jealous over her. This is just so wrong. And that this was written by a female writer makes it even more disturbing.

Veronica leads a toast “to family,” and even Lance, despite having been picked on, is happy about the toast. Allura, however, is saddened by it, and Lance notices.

Meanwhile, Romelle talks to Luca. This is the one scene of Romelle’s in the entire series that I actually really like. This scene hints to me at what Romelle could have been to this show had she been written well. The scene first reestablishes that Romelle knows Luca personally as she starts the conversation. Romelle says, “I’m so glad to see you’re alright Luca. We can help. What happened to you, where’s the Colony?” Luca rejects Romelle, saying, “So you can betray them yet again? You abandoned us, Romelle. And for the Paladins of Voltron! The very ones who killed our savior, Lotor!” Romelle is shocked at Luca’s reaction. Luca continues, “You’ve sided with the Great Destroyers! She told us of their lies! She’s going to fix it all! She’ll reunite us with Lotor! With Altea! You don’t stand a chance against Honerva!”

And then Luca gasps, there’s a flash, an outlined shot of Honerva’s face, and Luca falls over dead. Seems like Honerva killed Luca from a distance with her space magic to keep her from talking anymore. There’s a shot of Honerva, like so much of this show, still weirdly standing in the middle of an empty room. So now, the episode has confirmed where Luca came from, that her attack on Earth at the end of last season had at least something to do with Honerva, thereby setting Honerva up as the final big villain of the show. I have never really found Honerva/Haggar interesting. But, I guess, at least the final main villain being Honerva does sort of stage the conflict as Honerva versus Allura, space witch versus space witch. Honerva as a foil for Allura is a good structure for the show. I don’t think the show does well exploring that foil parallel though because none of what Honerva does is related to any of Allura’s character motivations. The best villains in stories are ones who are directly connected to the protagonist’s goals. This show doesn’t give Allura any goals other than stop the Galra though. The protagonist-antagonist contention for this season, and really most of the show as a whole, is barely existent. The story would have been far stronger if the protagonists had had clear goals.

Lance and Allura go for a walk to a park. They look at leafless trees. Lance says, “This place used to be so beautiful,” and Allura responds, “It’s my fault the Galra did this to your home.” We’re not told where in the world they are nor what time of year it is. Given this bit of dialog, I think we’re supposed to interpret these trees as dead. But my first thought was that it was autumn, and the trees had lost their leaves. Lance tries to reassure Allura that it’s not her fault and that he’s glad to have met her. Allura touches the tree and does a hand-glowing thing. The tree glows, grows, and all the plants around the park gain leaves. So, again, we were supposed to interpret the trees of this park as having somehow died, right? And she just brought them back to life? Or did she just make them gain leaves in the middle or depth of autumn?

Allura says that while Team Voltron was out in the universe fighting the Galra, “I somehow felt like we were a family.” Of course, the show never really depicted them as being a loving family. Most of the characters always were angrily yelling at each other. “Each of us was alone, but we were alone together,” she says. Clearly, the writer thinks this is a poignant line, but, while it does have a certain truth to it, it’s not a flattering one. Being “alone, but […] alone together,” isn’t being a family. It isn’t being friends. It isn’t a close bond. It’s a statement that though they had to work together, they never actually were close to each other.

“But now, here on Earth, I see that everyone already has a family.” Well, Shiro doesn’t. Not that this show cared about addressing that because that would require the EPs and the writers to care about Shiro. It’s also really weird to have Allura talking like she doesn’t have a family, when the show very explicitly visually juxtaposed Allura being visited by Coran and Romelle in the hospital at the end of 7x13 “Lions’ Pride Part 2” with Hunk and his family, Pidge and her family, Lance and his family, and even Keith with Krolia and Kolivan. Why is this show suddenly having Allura discard Coran as part of her sense of family? This very episode had Coran acting as if he were Allura’s father. Having Allura act this way now is so out of place.

She continues that they have “a home to return to once the war is over. Everyone except me.” I can totally understand her being sad over Altea being gone. That is totally reasonable to bring up. It has an unfortunate dimension given what happens at the end of this season though. The season opens with Allura lamenting not having a family and a home to return to after the war is over, and then ends the show by having her give up her life, rebooting all existence, restoring Altea to existence, but she doesn’t get to benefit from her work. She doesn’t get to go home.

Allura’s story this entire season is hugely depressing, and I remember the first time I watched this season feeling that Allura herself was deeply depressed the whole time. That’s not a good message for the show to send either: If you’re depressed, then the only way out is dying.

“It’s silly,” she continues, “but I used to think that the team relied on me.” It once did, back in seasons one and two. But then the EPs wanted Keith as Black Paladin more than anything, and that put Allura in the Blue Lion, and ever since, her position of leadership has been eliminated. She just follows orders from Keith now. It makes me mourn for what Allura could have been if she been written with respect and a desire to show a strong female character in a position of leadership instead of reduced to a magical person of color who has to give up her life to magically fix everyone’s problems. In past commentaries, I have referred to Allura’s previous position of leadership on the Castle of Lions as being like she was an admiral overseeing the fleet. Imagine what it would be like if she was in command of the Atlas, not as Captain, but as an Admiral. Imagine how she could have been written such that Sanda was another foil to Allura, and with Sanda gone, Allura filling that void in fleet leadership.

Allura says that she gains strength from the Paladins. I mean, sure, that should be blatantly true by this point in a story with a found family theme, and it should be true for everyone about everyone in that found family. I don’t think that it is anywhere near fully realized though.

Lance tries to assure her, telling her that she’s not alone. “I don’t care that this is only our first date, Allura, I love you.” Really? This show went there, having Lance say “I love you” on the first date, and the creative team of this show didn’t think there was anything wrong with that? It’s at least notably immature of him to have done so. That the solution to a woman having complex emotions and thoughts about something is to just tell her “I love you” and everything is solved?

In response to Allura’s asking, “You truly feel that way,” Lance takes Allura’s hand and makes her touch his chest and says, “With all my heart.” It’s a little cliché, but it’s still way too soon. Against a glowing background, Lance and Allura, in silhouette, kiss. I wonder if this kiss was added late into the production because the animation is stiff and a little jerky and feels really different to most of the show’s animation.

So yeah, their first date and Lance has said “I love you” and they’ve kissed. On the first date. Now, I know this show doesn’t have the patience to build up a story over time, the show has taken so many narrative short-cuts, but this is just too damn fast. It just feels like there’s something missing to get to this point.

Beezer arrives for some reason. He takes a picture and gives it to them. Why is Beezer in the park? There definitely feels like there’s something missing.

Allura arrives at her room, and Coran and Romelle are waiting for her. Cut to the meeting room, where the three of them are talking to Shiro. Allura says, “If Honerva sent that beast, then our mission must change.” Shiro says, “No, we have a plan and we need to stick to it. If Honerva is behind this, then I’m sure we’ll find her along the way.” Allura follows up, “Or she’ll find us.” It is interesting that Allura’s instincts were very much right here. I wonder how much difficulty they could have spared the universe (and other realities) if they had altered their mission to actively looking for Honerva.

The time has come for the team to leave, Voltron and the Atlas. I like getting another shot of the scale of the Lions next to the Atlas for comparison. I do very much like the design of the Atlas ship. A huge crowd is there to see them off.

I’ve seen people point out this animation error before, and I want to point it out again because it’s odd. In the first shot behind the Paladins and crew on the stage, from center stage outward, the Paladins are standing Keith, Lance, Allura, Pidge, and Hunk. Then in the next shot, a reverse shot, from center stage outward, it’s Keith, Allura, Lance, Pidge, and Hunk. It’s odd that Lance and Allura are flipped from one shot to the next.

Sam starts a speech, and then Keith takes over. Allura then takes over from Keith. There’s a montage of Hunk hugging his family and Lance hugging his. One of Lance’s family hugs Allura such that he lifts her off the ground.

Then Shiro takes over from Allura. “Each of you have given something to this fight. Many have been lost, but not in vain because through their sacrifice, many more will live on.” The memorial wall of the dead of the Garrison is shown, and then a close up of Sanda’s placard. Why in the freaking world would they chose to juxtapose Shiro’s statement with Sanda’s picture instead of Adam’s? That’s really offensive and shows how little this creative team actually cared about Shiro and Adam and the inclusion of a queer relationship on the show.

The Atlas launches. I have to agree with others who’ve pointed it out, the way Shiro is standing in the shot of the camera looking over Team Voltron from behind on the bridge of the Atlas does not look like Shiro’s posture, it looks very much like how we’ve seen Allura stand many times before.

The music during the launch is nice.

So, that’s the first episode of the final season. It’s very much a different kind of story than most episodes of the show. There is a lot of focus on relationships of various kinds. The Allura-Lance romance is most prominent, and it’s really uncomfortable. It just amazes me that a story that so strongly reinforces traditional gender norms, patriarchal family structures, and rewards a male character with success through the nice guy trope was written by a female writer.

[kingofthewilderwest]

Tiny hot take? But I think 99% of the initial fan... apathy towards the Light Fury was probably because the entire lead up to the poster/trailer reveal, we had heard 'female NIGHT Fury'. If we had expected a different flavor of Fury in the first place, she probably would've gotten a warmer reception. I still think that was rather strange, but its good to see the Lights are pretty uniform across the species and not a case of... questionable design like it was feared.

Ooooooo I think you have a point! When our Lady Light Fury was first revealed, fans weren’t clear that:

She was a different species than Toothless

She wasn’t the ONLY representative of Light Fury

It’s true that interviews with DeBlois and a released THW trailer clarified #1 and #2. But when fandom first saw our Light Fury, fans didn’t know these things yet. Therefore, lots of arguments for/against the Light Fury’s design discussed sexual dimorphism because people thought she was Toothless’ kind. Furthermore, frequent criticism talked about how the Light Fury’s sleekness, fewer nubs, light color, etc. showed stereotypical femininity getting integrated into her design, all of this played into the light of believing she was Toothless’ kind and the one dragon we’d see like this.

But, the fact that she’s white isn’t because of her gender, and the fact she has fewer nubs and more sleekness is a product of her species rather than her gender, in-world (as far as I know - I haven’t seen other Light Furies in promotional materials because I’ve been keeping myself cut off from most THW news). If fans had known this from the get-go, there may have indeed been more acceptance for her design.

You and I agree on that part of the hot take. That said, I suppose I myself don’t think this constitutes 99% of the problem. There are still things from more critical sides of her reception that would be valid and talked about, regardless of whether people knew #1 and #2 off the bat. Namely:

The Light Fury might not be the only member of her species, and her species might just “look like that,” but we do have to remember this character is the token of her species. She’s the main example we’ll see within THW of her kind. She would have been designed first WAY before they thought about other members of her species, and she would have been designed intentionally as the “female not-quite-Night Fury” that would interact with Toothless. The fact that the whole Light Fury species turned out looking sleeker, with fewer nubs, and with a beautiful white pure color... is still the product of the creators thinking first and foremost about this female Fury. The fact that other Light Furies look like her is because they made her to look like this. Light Furies were designed around her feminine design, not the other way around.I agree it helps emotionally that her species has more examples so we can see their uniformity of design, and see that the creators still went forward to give us a Light Fury species that just looks like that. They’re not singling this one dragon out to be a pinnacle of femininity amongst her kind, but have the grace to make the whole species look like that. I respect that and think that’s a point to respect. But... the meta behind why the design is like this... can still be given some criticism. The design was still made to make this particular example of a Light Fury look questionably more pretty and feminine as a contrast to Toothless’ masculine Night Fury-ism. And I suspect some keen minds in fandom would have picked that up regardless.

Other qualms about design have nothing to do with her being a female NIGHT Fury. Some people aren’t enthused because she’s not as textured and interesting to see on screen. Toothless has cool scales and a mottled panther-like spot pattern on his body to give him interesting texture and detail on screen. Some people have thought that the Light Furies look a little too crystalline and not that interesting texturally, not as interesting on screen, perhaps flat compared to the rest of HTTYD’s shiny world. The fact that she’s female, and the fact that she’s a different species, is irrelevant to points like these.

Other apathy or criticism has had nothing to do with her design, and all on the premise of why she was in the story in the first place. Lots of people have been leery about giving Toothless a potential mate / love interest. This is concern about how her character will be handled in the plot. Sequels tend to do too much pairing up so people worry it’ll be unoriginal, or people worry this will screw up the reverence and focus of Hiccup and Toothless’ friendship, or create unnecessary “choose who you love most” plot elements, or many other things. It’s about how the Light Fury’s been set up plot-wise that got some people worried.Her design was, though, something that made people feel they had more to worry about. She looked so pretty, so it seemed to exacerbate the worse of their fears about how she would be handled in the plot. So that didn’t help fan reaction, especially without the knowledge of #1 and #2.

I agree that reception would have been a lot better if people had know #1 and #2. She WOULD have had a warmer reception with that background knowledge. You definitely have a point! People would have been more favorable of some of the particulars of her design, like her white color and blue eyes. Even then, it can still be discussed as a case of questionable design, so I think that fans would have had mixed reactions regardless. It’s why discussions keep going onward even after people learned #1 and #2.

For people who don’t know, I’m in the middle of the road. I think the constructive criticisms are valid and picking up on some truths. I’m not going to ignore these valid observations. But. I also don’t hate her design and I never was part of the outcry when she was released. Plot-wise, I’ve repeatedly heard AMAZING things about THW so I’m not worried about how she’s placed as a character. I’m not going to judge the Night Fury, how she looks on screen, and how she integrates into the story... based on a few pieces of news and very small moments in a trailer. I can certainly understand concerns or opinions either way, but I’d rather not judge her ahead of time like that. I’m going to go into The Hidden World and see for myself how she’s portrayed in the REAL story! :)

How I see the Light Fury discussion is an area of constructive observation: we can see where the design, from a meta point, might fall into some not-perfect patterns. That’s fair to understand, as with anything in fiction where things are fun and not perfect. That doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy how cute and pretty she is, and can’t enjoy her character, and can’t enjoy THW. XD I’m really looking forward to our stunning Lady Light Fury, and I have a feeling I’m going to like her!

[ninequestions9]

Me, 26, Executive Assistant

*My uncle made the suggestion that I answer my own questions then a year from now, when my project is done, answer them again and see how my views have changed. Here we go.*

1)      What is the biggest frustration you’re facing now?

    I’m at a point in my life where I’m done with formal schooling and building my education, I have a good job so career-wise I’m in a good place, but I’m not yet building a relationship or marriage or family. So for the first time in my life I am in this weird gap of not knowing what to do with myself. There’s no plan to follow or goals to achieve. I’m just doing things as they come along and throwing down floorboards as I walk. Most people would kill to be in this situation. Absolute freedom. Plus I’m young and healthy and financially secure enough. I have innumerable blessings, I know.

    Yet, I am incredibly frustrated with my life. A very privileged frustration, I know. I LOVE having a plan. I love having steps to take and goals to work towards and having a vision of where I’m going. I love structure. I need find something to channel my energy into. I’m eager to jump into the next phase of life and build towards marriage and such, but unfortunately I can’t control when I meet “the one.” I feel a lot of pressure to be on 1,000 dating apps and go out more and join more activities and organizations and talk to everyone, but it’s exhausting and just makes me anxious. I want meeting someone to be fun and genuine. But I guess you can’t have your cake and eat it too. 

    I’m trying to see the positive in all this. God has a plan. I look for three things to be grateful for a day. That helps me stay focused on the present and not freaking out about the unknown future. God has a plan and I know he’s putting me through the exact thing that makes me the most uncomfortable in order to make me stronger. I’m waiting for it to end though and the waiting is frustrating.

2)      What trait do you wish you most had?

    I wish I had more faith. I chose that as my confirmation name when I was 13 because even then I knew I needed more faith. Of course my belief in Jesus and the truth of the Bible is firm, but I wish I had more faith in God’s plan for my life. If God is the ultimate source of goodness, joy, love, and peace then no matter how he orchestrates my life, it will be for the best; whether in my lifetime or within the greater narrative.

    I spend way too much time worrying that things won’t work out the way I want them to. But really if I think about it, all the wonderful things of my life occurred, not because of my own doing, but really because of the people who happen to be in my life, the foundation my parents laid out for us, where I happen to live, what media society happen to produce at that time. I wound up at the college I attended because of a terrible fight I had with my mom. She wanted me to meet with the various college recruiters who circulated through my high school so I could learn more about what schools were out there and get a better understanding of what I was looking for. Very wise, but I didn’t want to bother missing class so I stubbornly refused. Long story short, while driving me to school, we got into another argument about it which ended with my mom calling me a little bitch and me slamming the door in her face. I begrudgingly signed up to attend the info session for the college that was visiting that day, University of Delaware, and in the end, that’s the college I wound up going to. I had never heard of that college before then and probably would have completely ignored it otherwise.

    In high school, I failed my Spanish AP test which meant I HAD to take one Spanish class in college. I had wanted to leave Spanish behind because I made up my mind I just wasn’t good at it. But of course, that one Spanish class I took freshman year turned out to be taught by an amazing professor who really made me feel like I could learn Spanish. So I wound up declaring a Spanish minor, studying abroad in Spain and now I speak Spanish! Haha!

    So having faith in God’s timing and accepting that I really don’t have as much control as I think I do.

3)      What are 3 characteristics you look for in a friend?

    Sense of humor, being real / genuine, and responsible. Laughter is essential. Life has more joy when you’re with someone who can find the humor in the most uncomfortable or awkward situations. Genuine because I can’t be myself and be real if I know the other person is putting on some kind of front or persona. If they’re glossing over the truth or trying to sell me some polished version of themselves then I just don’t have time for that kind of lack of self awareness. Responsible because I need to feel I can trust you’re not going to get us into a reckless situation or that you’re going to be there when you say you are. You’re not rude or oblivious to how your actions affect others. Mature. I sound so harsh, but I guess I’m thinking in terms of a deeper friendship.

4)      What makes you feel brave?

    When I’m taking care of others. When I feel my skills, knowledge, strengths are being put to good use and helping another person, then I feel brave. As my parents are getting older, I feel brave when they need me to drive them somewhere, get medicine, or make food. I also feel brave when I’m being kind to strangers. It’s so much easier to ignore other people or think “Oh that’s not my problem. They probably don’t want to be bothered,” but I’ve learned that’s not true. Most people are looking for some kind of connection or enjoy being noticed. So when I get past my own pride and try to connect with other people, I feel brave because there’s always the chance they’ll respond with some kind of haughty attitude or just look at me like I’m strange, but it’s worth it for the times I can make someone feel cared about.

5)      What makes you feel vulnerable?

    Knowing that I care way more about another person than they care about me. Or thinking someone is just The Coolest and admiring them and then knowing they will never think that way about me. When I was in middle school, my best friend suddenly stopped making plans with me to hang out. She also stopped inviting me to group outings with other friends. Eventually we just stopped talking. Looking back, I’m sure she had her reasons. I used a lot of mean/mocking humor with my friends and I think she just got sick of it. Completely fair. But it hurt so much because she was still my best friend in my mind even though her own priorities changed and she couldn’t care less about our friendship. So yeah that still haunts me. Those situations make me feel worthless.

6)      What was your proudest moment?

     When I got a lead in my high school production of Grease. I was Rizzo. It still holds such weight with me because that was like the ultimate validation as a teenager. It told me I was talented, I was liked, I was trusted, and I got a lot of attention for getting a lead role haha! I looked up to my older brother for getting leads in high school plays and then I was able to live up to that “legacy,” if you will.

    I’m always pretty proud when I tell people I worked at Disney World or when I speak Spanish too.    

7)      Who is your role model / hero and why?

            My grandma. My dad’s mom. She’s how I try to model myself as a Christian woman. She gives so much and she’s always thinking of others. Her present circumstances are a testament to the way she lived her life. At 95, she has a ton of people who actively WANT to take care of her. All the people she’s taken care of all these years are now joyfully taking care of her; driving her places, getting her food, taking her out. She has a lot of people in her life who really love her and it’s because she gives so much love. She’s also incredibly wise. She’s lived through the Great Depression, World War II, losing her sister at a young age, a miscarriage, raising four kids in a low income area, she’s traveled Europe, etc. She’s seen a lot, but she found joy in the simple things. She worked in a bank as a teller most of her life, but she said it was the best job she ever had because of all the friends she made and getting to know the customers. She was happy with what she had and she made what she had stretch to the point where she was able to feed all her kids and also invite the neighbors over too. She’s who I admire.

8)      What is one life lesson you’d like to pass down to future generations?

    On a spiritual level: Don’t base your self worth on something you can lose. Don’t base it on your academic performance, job achievements, significant other, family, kids, socioeconomic status, etc. Your self worth needs to come from something greater than you and this world. Look into who God is. Do research on who he says he is, what other religions say he is, what science and philosophy have to say about a higher power and just seek out the truth in that regard. Find God and look to understand his purpose for your life and this world as a whole. That advice probably won’t resonate with a large audience, but there it is.

    Also, don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself and have fun. Nobody looks stupid when they’re having fun.

9)      What is your opinion of Jesus?

    Jesus is the son of God, the messiah, and he died for my sins. God himself paid the price for my mistakes and my selfishness so that I wouldn’t have to. He did that for everyone. That’s love.

    But also, Jesus was not the weak, mild, whitewashed, nice-guy that you see in stain glass windows. What he had to say angered A LOT of people. It angered the “holiest” of people, the Pharisees, the temple leaders, the ones who supposedly knew the most about the scriptures and God. So much so that they wanted him dead. They arranged for his arrest and execution.

    Jesus is hope, but what he had to say didn’t always make people feel hopeful. When the rich young man asked Jesus what he had to do to inherit the kingdom of God, Jesus told him to give up all his belongings (essentially his identity, his pride, his comfort) and follow him. The rich young man walked away discouraged and hopeless. Not because there wasn’t hope, but because he wasn’t willing to lose what he had. Really he wasn’t willing to put himself aside. So it shouldn’t surprise us that Jesus’s words still make people uncomfortable today.

    But also, because Jesus tells us to put our own lives, worries, desires aside and trust and follow him, it’s actually easing the burden. It doesn’t sound fun and it’s a daily struggle, but when you get there, there is a sense of peace and groundedness. You don’t need to focus on yourself as much. You are free to take care of others and focus on God’s plan. I’m on a soap box now because this is way easier said than done, but you take it day by day.

    Jesus is my God and my savior and he is fearless.

[dis-easedfairy]

Impulsive Decision Pt.5

Male Path | Female Path

Chapter 5: Should’ve Walked Away

WARNINGS: SWEARING/STRONG LANGUAGE | KIDNAPPING | MENTIONS OF RAPE | DRUGGING

Genre: Poly!au, angst, fluff, eventual smut, yandere!au

Pairings: BTS x Male Reader/ Kim Taehyung x Male Reader / Kim Seokjin x Male Reader / Jung Hoseok x Male Reader / OC x Male Reader

Word Count: 4,157

Summary: M/n is the owner of a very wealthy and successful company, Barnanby Inc. M/n attends a BTS show, since they happen to be a fan. They make a very impulsive decision to show a loophole in BTS’s security and end up kidnapping BTS and 2 girls. In a fit of panic M/n stashes BTS and the girls in a very luxurious bunker for the time being, but M/n’s world slowly starts to crumble the longer the boys are out of the public’s eye,

A/N: I may or may not have added one of my fav childhood memories in here.

    I woke up on my back with someone pressed against my chest. Their arms wrapped around my waist, face in my chest. It felt nice, yes, but they had their legs intertwined with mine, locking me down. The zip-up hoodie I was wearing last night was opened for some reason.

I looked down at the mess of dark hair and knew who it was almost instantly. I looked around the room and we were the only ones there.

“Uh, Tae? Can I go pee?” I chucked.

Tae shook his head sleepily. Since I seemed to have no choice I began to run my hands through his hair. I swear I thought Tae was too pure for this world sometimes.

The double door opened, revealing Hobi, he saw me and smiled.

“Jin wanted me to wake you two up.” He explained.

I pointed to Tae, “I’m awake at least.” I giggled.

Hobi walked over to the bed.

“Hold onto the headboard.” I did as told.

Hobi grabbed onto Tae’s feet and pulled. Tae groaned and held onto me tighter.

“Taehyung, it’s time to let the poor boy go!” Hobi grunted as he pulled more.

“Come back later!” Tae complained, not letting his grip on me loosen.

“It’s 8AM you woke up with us at 6! It is later!”

“5 more minutes!”

“We gave you two hours to hog Y/n, now you can’t be selfish!”

“He was asleep it doesn’t count!”

“You cuddled him all night!”

I started laughing at their ridiculous argument. All the noise made Jin and RM come into the room.

“YAH! You’re going to rip M/n in half!” Jin tried yelling at them but was drowned out by their continuous arguing.

I was starting to laugh so hard I was almost crying. Hobi and Tae were not stopping the harmless bickering, Jin was trying to yell at them, RM was facepalming at the door and I could see the others approaching. What a start to the day.

“Jesus, you guys.” Jungkook was fighting a smile.

Jin got onto the bed and tried to pry Tae off of me as Hobi continued to pull, the yelling never stopping.

“YAH! LET HIM GO! HE’S NOT A STUFFED ANIMAL, TAEHYUNG!”

“STOP BEING GREEDY HE’S OUR FRIEND TOO!”

“HE WAS MY FRIEND FIRST, I HAVE A PLUSH TO PROVE IT!”

“WE’RE HIS FRIENDS BECAUSE HE SAID SO!”

“WHY DID YOU ONLY GET A PLUSHIE!?”

“BECAUSE I ASKED FOR ONE!”

“WE DON’T NEED PLUSHIES TO VALIDATE OUR FRIENDSHIP!”

“LALALALALALALALA! I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER MY PLUSHIE VALIDATED FRIENDSHIP!”

I was so close to peeing myself. I let go of the headboard because I was laughing too hard, making Tae and I get dragged off the bed by Hobi. My back was against the cold concrete, Tae was still holding on for dear life.

“I ALMOST PEED!” I cried in laughter covering my face.

“YOU DIDN’T EVEN LET HIM USE THE RESTROOM WHEN HE WOKE UP!?” This wasn’t stopping.

I sat up so my back was pressed against the bed. My eyes blinded with tears. Tae sat beside me and pulled me into his lap as everyone kept arguing.

“WHY ARE YOU SO HANDSY WITH M/N ANYWAY!? HE’S NOT YOURS!”

“Why is this an argument?” I heard Jimin.

“I just wanted to use the restroom!” I managed.

“No! You’re staying with me!” Tae commanded, tightening his hold on me.

“I’ll pee on your lap!” I threatened.

Tae immediately let go and I ran to the bathroom.

I typed up a proposal on the office computer. I stood and began to pace the room, reciting the speech, editing as I saw fit.

“I believe Barnaby Inc. is ready for this….Amazing? No that’s too predictable. Wonderful? Nah that will just make them think of our melon drink. Spectacular? Why am I overthinking this?” I plopped into my office chair.

I heard a knock at the door.

“Come in!” I hollered, moving to edit my speech.

“Lunch time!” I sighed as Jin came in with a tray.

It had two glasses of lemonade, two bottles of water, two bags of chips, two sandwiches and two small bowls of mixed berries.

“Jin, I really need to-”

“Nope! Lunch, then work. How much water have you drank today?”

“Uh, a bottle this morning and a bottle when I came in here.” I began typing.

“Aish, you need to take better care of yourself, M/n.” Jin sat down at the front of my desk.

“I know, it’s just when I get into the flow of things, I don’t stop until I’m satisfied. ” I defended myself, getting a berry.

“You’ve been working a lot lately. The drawing, the games, visiting the company almost every day now. Are you usually this busy?”

I nodded, “Especially now with the partnership. I’ve been trying to get this for months. My father tried for years. After gaming, we move to snacks and beverages and from there we find something else if we’re not content. ”

“You said you had siblings, a family? Who’s in it?” Jin asked as I bit into my sandwich.

“My older brother and sister are twins, they’re 26 or so. My older sister has two boys, one is 4 the other is a few months now. My older brother has no children, but a wife. I have a younger sister who is 16, When she turns 18, we should have expanded to snacks then and she’ll run that side of the business. My mother is a retired animator, but she still goes into the company every once and a while to help out our current animators, they love her so we let her. I think that’s everyone.”

“No aunts, uncles?”

“I do, but I rarely talk to them. My mom calls my aunt from my father’s side every once in a while but they usually stay away because they think we let money, fame and work control us. They think we’re snobby assholes to be precise.”

“Why would they think that?”

“My father was doubted by everyone, so he told them once he made his empire, no one got rights to it but him. his wife and his children. They didn’t listen until my father hit big and they wanted cuts. When my father denied them, they started talkin’ shit.” I munched on a chip.

“Your father was very…”

“Spiteful? Proud?”

“Smart.” I smirked.

“I guess so. He was a workaholic like me. ”

“Is that why he gave you the company and not your older siblings?”

“My brother is really great. He’s smart, he’s a smooth talker, He can change your opinion on something if you’re left alone with him for longer than 4 minutes. He’s well educated when he argues with someone, he makes sure he knows what he’s talking about. I felt like my brother earned it, but my father said he saw more of himself in me.”

“Because you're caring?”

“Because I take risks no one should. Hence the little problem I’m in now. Because I throw myself into whatever I can to just forget the world around me. I used to be bold. Charming, but now I’m an interesting as a smudge on your cell phone.” I popped a berry in my mouth.

“That’s not true! How many people can say they kidnapped idols!?”

“Jin, that’s not something to be proud of.”

“I bet you are twice as interesting as all of us.”

“I’m really not, but I’m not going to ruin your hopes and dreams. Just have low expectations of me is all  I ask.”

“No-”

“So when I exceed those expectations, you’ll be happier.”I added quickly.

Jin smiled, seeming satisfied as he bit into his sandwich. I opened his chips for him and got my bottle of water.

“Do I gwet a purush?” Usually, I’d be a little annoyed at someone talking to me with their mouths full, but Jin made it seem so adorable.

I smiled, “Wanna run that by me again, Jinnie?”

I saw his cheeks turn a little red. He swallowed.

“D-do I get a plush?” He repeated.

“Oh! I totally forgot! Sure you can! They should be in the entrance room, in the big storage closet.” I picked up the glass of lemonade.

“Thank you for making me lunch, Jin. I really appreciate it. I just wished the other boys saw me the way you, Tae and Hobi do.”

“Just be yourself. I’m sure they’ll come around.”

I slid into the bathroom, grabbed a towel and climbed on top of the couch. I tied the towel around my neck as a cape.

“I AM ON MY WAY!” I sang obnoxiously as I jumped onto the chair.

“I CAN GO THE DISTANCE!” I belted.

“I DON’T CARE HOW FA-OH FUCK!” The chair fell to the side, a higher power deciding I was unworthy of balance and gravity.

I hit the floor with a thud. Just staring up at the ceiling. Basking in my shame. I heard giggling and I looked over to see Jimin standing by the dining room table, as red as apple he was holding. Like he was trying not to laugh.

“Annnnd reputation ruined.” I sighed, looking up at the ceiling, I tried to sit up but a sharp pain shot up my tailbone.

I whined and did the first thing I can think of.

“JIN! I THINK I BROKE MY ASS! I REQUEST DEMI-GOD ASSISTANCE!” I cried out, causing Jimin to finally break.

I’ve only seen him laugh that hard in videos, but to see it in real life was drastically different, it lit up the whole room and I didn’t want it to stop.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?” Jin yelled back, from the gaming room I assumed.

“I FAILED TO GO THE DISTANCE! I HAVE A CAPE, YOU CAN’T DENY ME! HOBI I’M DYING!” I heard footsteps come down the hall and Jin stopped in the doorway when he saw Jimin.

Jimin was borderline crying, doubled over, clutching his stomach.

“WHY IS MY BOYFRIEND DYING FROM A BROKEN ASS??” I heard Tae shout from the bedrooms.

“THE CAPE BETRAYED ME, BABE! YOU ONLY LIKED ME FOR MY ASS ANYWAY!” I called back.

Jimin fell to the floor.

“I ACCIDENTALLY KILLED JIMIN AS WELL! ” I added.

Tae and Hobi walked in and saw Jimin on the floor.

“This is all your fault!” I pointed at Jin.

“You just had to pull me away from my work!” I joked.

“How was I supposed to know a sandwich would make you break your ass!?” He countered.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, when did you make him a sandwich!?” Tae demanded.

“For lunch, he was in his office all morning, he wouldn’t have eaten otherwise.”

“Who said you can give our boyfriend sandwiches!?” Hobi called Jin out.

“OUR boyfriend!? Since when am I sharing!?” Tae turned on Hobi.

“No one’s sharing anything if my ass is destroyed.” I grumbled.

“Jimin, are you alive?” Jin laughed.

Jimin shook his head, still laughing/crying.

“Hobi, can you help me up?” I looked down at my lap to hide my embarrassment.

“Sure thing N/n.” Hobi chuckled, picking me up and I hissed in pain.

“Want me to rub your ass later?” Tae laughed.

“Oh hell yes.” I joked, trying to stand straight.

Hobi kneeled down suddenly and threw me over his shoulder causing me to let out a small squeak, making V and Jin laugh.

“HOBI! What the fuck!? Warning next time!”

  I sat lounged the couch, typing on my laptop. My feet were on Hobi’s lap, Jin was in the chair beside me and Tae was sitting in front of the couch. Seongmi, RM, and Jimin were on the couch by Jin, their backs facing the kitchen and Suga, Jungkook and Linza were on the couch with their backs facing the dining room.

The coffee table was full of cards from a very long round of Uno that never seemed to end. Every time someone would get close, the person beside the would get a +4 wildcard and you’d hear screams of heartbreak and anguish. Hobi began to rub my leg, I assumed he didn’t realize he was going it, so I tried to focus on my speech, hoping I’d zone out. An alarm went off on my laptop, it read ‘Call Seth’. I sighed, closing the laptop.

“I have to make a call, I’ll be right back.” I smiled and left to make a call in between the dial door and vault door.

Once Seth didn’t pick up I’d figure I’d call later. I went back through the dial door and was on my way to the living room when I saw something out of my peripheral vision.

Linza was sitting on the large bed, just waiting. I just stuck my phone in my hoodie and kept walking, I didn’t need the drama.

“Hey, M/n.” She called as I opened the door.

Luckily Jin heard her, stopping the game to look at the door. I sighed.

“Yes, Linza?”

She smiled. She lied back propped on her elbows.

“Are you really into girls or is that just speculation?”

“Seriously, I’d rather be working on my speech than talking about my sexual orientation, no offense.” I began to leave but was stopped by her voice again.

“Come here, I want to tell you a secret.”

“No thanks. I’m sure that if I get near you, you’ll try something.”

“You don’t trust me?”

“Why the fuck would I?”

She frowned like she was trying to be cute.

“Aww c’mon, N/n, we can be friends ya know.” She got up from the bed, grabbed my wrist and started to pull me to the bed.

“Don’t call me N/n. I don’t want your friendship.” I tried to pull away.

“If you do me this small thing I’ll get you in Jimin’s good graces.”

“No. I don’t care if I’m liked or not. Stop touching me and stop whatever you’re planning.” She ignored me, sitting on the bed.

I used my other hand to try to pry away her grip on my wrist, she thought ahead and grabbed my other hand and yanked me on the bed.

“What the fuck are you do-!?” She pinned me down a smirked.

My eyes widened as she began to lean more towards my face.

“Hey! What the fuck?” I moved my face.

“Aw, M/n don’t be like that, it’s only a kiss.”

“Get the fuck off me, Ducktape Girl!” I growled.

She went to grab for the zipper on my hoodie. I smacked her hand away and tried moving more towards the headboard. Where the fuck was Jin!? She grabbed a fist full of my hair and I raised my hands to pull hers away by instinct. This gave her an opening to attack my mouth. I pressed my lips together as fast as I could. When she pulled away slightly I snapped.

“Get the fuck off me!” I almost shouted, shoving her away, making her land on the floor.

She yelped as I wiped my mouth, disgusted that it was wet with spit. The boys came rushing in. Seongmi immediately climbed on the bed to check on me.

“What happened?” RM asked.

“Ducktape Girl just tried to makeout with me.” I was still disgusted to my core.

“Yeah, right.” Jungkook scoffed.

“Jungkook, look at him! His lips are swollen, his hair is a mess. He’s on the bed. We heard him tell her to not touch him! We thought she’d stop! Why are you defending her!?” Seongmi snapped, surprising me.

Jimin let out a loud sigh, running his hand through his hair.

“No! He kissed me! I was just trying to talk to him!” Linza cried.

“Tae, Jin, Hobi, Seongmi?…Can we just go to sleep or to the studio?” I asked in a small voice.

“No! We can’t let this slide, M/n! She get’s away with too much because she just bats her eyes and pretends to cry! She’s not nice! She’s hardly a victim! I get M/n made a very bad decision, but he gives us anything we want, he helps feed us, he provides entertainment, we use almost every room in this bunker! All he asks is for personal space! Ducktape her!” Seongmi ranted.

“Seon-” She cut me off.

“You don’t deserve the doubt! You’ve been nothing but kind and understanding! It’s always her that spreads the seeds of doubt!” I could tell Seongmi wasn’t calming down anytime soon.

“Seongmi, calm down.” I soothed her.

“She’s just going to get away with this, M/n! Don’t let yourself take all these hits because you feel guilty for driving away in the limo and hiding us here!” Seongmi pleaded with tears in her eyes.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close. She buried her face in my chest.

“Shh, it’s okay, none of these ‘hits’ affect me.” I lied, petting her hair.

“She’s just afraid and angry at me. I would be too if I was kidnapped the way you all were.” She shook her head rapidly.

I looked over at Tae. He only nodded and got on the bed, hugging Seongmi too. I tried to pull away but she held on tighter.

“Seongmi, I still have to talk to everyone else about this.” I smiled sadly.

“There’s nothing to talk about. They’ll just believe her no matter what you say. ” She whimpered.

She was right, but it would be wrong to not explain my side at all. I bent down slowly and gave her a faint kiss on the top of her head.

“That’s okay, because I know the truth, and my friends believe me.”

“Ducktape pillar!” Jin suddenly shouted, making us all jump.

Slowly began to pull away from Seongmi and got off the bed. I let out a deep breath,

“I didn’t kiss her, she tried to kiss me after she got me close enough to the bed to pin me down. After her attempted kiss I shoved her off. I’m sorry, I should’ve just kept walking.” I walked past them all and went to the fridge.

There was no booze. I let out a deep sigh.

“I’m going on a beer run.”

  I walked from the 7-Eleven, beers in the bags. I should’ve just gone home. I should’ve just…kept walking. I saw a guy sitting in the alleyway alone. I was pretty close to a popular club in Seoul, so I assumed he must have stumbled out. I couldn’t leave him alone, right?

I put the bag down and crouched down beside him, he was barely awake. I pulled out my phone and dialed the police. If I took him, I’d be kidnapping…again. I wanted him to be safe, not alone and vulnerable. Music was muffled and poured out the club as the phone rang.

“Yes, this isn’t much of an emergency, but a guy is alone and passed out in an alley, I don’t want to just leave him here…Should I take him to the station, or?” I was told to take him to the main street and a patrol car would be there shortly.

“Hello, I’m M/n L/n. I’m going to get you to the police okay? It’s dangerous for you to be out here alone.” I smiled softly.

He returned a smile.

“You’re cute.” He slurred, making my face heat up.

I cleared my throat.

“Let’s get you to the road, okay? Hongdae in full swing, it really isn’t safe.” I put his arm around my shoulders and lifted him up.

Hongdae was a district and Seoul that I shouldn't even have gone to. I was just clearing my head, driving. I ended up downtown and I should’ve stayed at the top of Seoul.

I got him on the main road, I was surprised he even got that far. He leaned on me as we waited. He almost puked a few times. He was giggly and kept calling me ‘cutie’, but I wrote it off as him being drunk. He talked about the ‘pretty lights’ and I kept asking him to describe them to keep him busy. Once the patrol car was close they flashed the lights. I helped him in the back seat and sent him on his way.

I’d figure I’d go to that club for a drink since I forgot my beers when I picked up that guy. I should’ve walked away. I should’ve gone back to the bunker that night.

I pulled up Jason’s number in my phone as my back was pressed against the cold tile wall. Luckily, the bathroom was empty, but you could hear the loud music muffled.  I groaned loudly once ‘Blood, Sweat & Tears’ began to play.  The phone began to ring,

“M/n? Why are you calling me so late? It’s nearly 2am. Shouldn’t you be with, your, uh, guests?”

“I just wanted ONE drink, but some guys offered me shots, and their friends who are girls even bought me drinks, Everyone was so nice. I think I found us a friend group!”

“Are you drunk, M/n? You stick in the mud! Why didn’t you invite me!?” He laughed.

I smiled, “I didn’t plan any of th-” The bathroom door opened and a guy from earlier came in, handing me a glass.

“What’s that?” I ask him.

“Just drink it, you’ll like it!” He promised, sounding oddly sober.

“Okay, I get I’m a foreigner, but like, you still need to explain what you give me.”

“This doesn’t have a different name anywhere else though!” He whined, making me sigh and hold out my hand.

He beamed, handing the glass to me, his smile getting bigger once I slammed it down in one go. It tasted like whiskey, which made me a bit disappointed.

“Thank you! I’ll be out in a bit.” I sang.

“Who are you talking to?” He frowned.

“My best friend, he’s sad that I didn’t invite him.”

“Just don’t take too long, okay?”

“Will do!” He left the bathroom.

“Where are you?” Jason asked, sudden seriousness in his voice.

“Are you joining us!?” I asked excitedly.

“Just tell me where you are, M/n, now.” I heard a glass door, he was coming from the office.

I didn’t like his tone. I began to pull myself up, using the sink and praying I didn't snap the sink off the wall. I gave him the name of the nightclub. I thought maybe something happened to him and he needed me. I walked across the bathroom and opened the door, music flooding in.

“Stay in the area, M/n. I’ll be there as soon as I can!” I heard his car door close before he hung up.

I frowned and made my way through the crowd. The people buying me drinks spotted me. 2 guys, 3 girls.

“Hey! Where are you going?” Guy #1 asked.

“My friend needs me tonight, sorry! Give me your names and I’ll take care of your tabs.” Guy #2 shook his head.

“Stay with us! You’ll have fun we promise!” Girl #3 yelled over the music.

I shook my head, “My best friend comes first! I’ve known him since I was 8. He needs me!”

“He’ll understand if you stay in the club though, right? If you go out there alone, it will be dangerous!” Girl #1 warned.

“Yeah! Just stay here, stick with us!” Girl #2 smiled.

Why were they so hell bent on me staying with them? They didn’t even know me. I shook my head.

“I’ll catch you all later.” I said began to walk away.

Guy #2 grabbed my wrist.

“Just stay, please!” He called over the music.

Now I was a little put-off. I should’ve walked away from them regardless.

“Listen, it was fun. I’ll pay for your tabs and everything, but I just need to leave!”

“We’ll come with you! We shouldn’t leave you alone.” I agreed to the terms Guy #1 set up.

I just needed to leave. Each step I took seemed lighter and lighter. Guy #2 held onto my arm as we walked out. Once the cold air from outside hit me, I felt dizzy and my vision blurred slightly. Guy #2 kept walking, somehow holding up my weight.

“I’m not accepting hard liquor from you guys anymore. That last drink was too strong.” I complained, moving away from Guy #2.

Even though I was starting to get nauseated, a little dizzy, and my vision was seeming to blur at random, I was still in an amazing mood, giggling and laughing as Girl #3 would attempt to joke. After a while, I was willingly walking around with them. I even took out my phone to take pictures because the store signs and lights seemed so much more bright and colorful.

After that was a blur. I don’t remember anything, but I recorded several things on my phone. Somethings that were now evidence. Somethings that I didn’t even record.

If I had to choose between ‘Remember Everything’ or ‘Remember Nothing’ I would rather not know.

I should’ve walked away. Three times that night.

( Previous Chapter ) - ( Next Chapter )

[tricks-up-my-sleeve]

((okay so spoilers for s8 ep 18 aka on the road to friendship under the cut w/ a bunch of spoiler tags just in case))

So uhhh this episode was everything I wanted? A lot of it’s subtle things, but, I’m ghkjlhgfd I’m not crying you are. I don’t do horse analysis or reviews or anything like that I grew tired of those types of things ages ago bc it personally gets to a point where it sucks out the fun for me but I’m just gonna make bullet points of all of my thoughts. Mainly involving Trixie and how this episode ties into my portrayal of her. Probably others too, though.

The little magic show at the beginning? Wonderful. I love these two performing together.. and together in general. Twi & Caddy even agree on how they’re such a good duo.

Speaking of which, Twi complimenting Trixie with a huge smile? HERE. FOR. IT.

Flurry Heart watching the show was adorable. Also the inclusion of Granny Smith was of course great.

“Doing a show with you is almost as much fun as counseling students at Twilight’s school.” Almost? I’m disappointed. It’s not the first time I’ll be disappointed in Glim this episode, but we’ll get there. She’s still loved.. but it gets rough.

Loved how Hoo’far called Trixie “Miss Powerful” and her reaction to it. Just cute and silly.

TRIXIE’S. LOVE. FOR. HER. WAGON. I didn’t expect this to be a big plot point in the ep or really ever brought up, but I was so thrilled because that’s always been a small part of my Trixie. She loves her wagon. It may be small and cramped (and also, it apparently has a pretty fucked up doorknob) but it has sentimental value. It means a lot to her. I loved this so much. Not once did she stop and consider trading it for something that a lot would look at and assume was superior.

Moonwalking Trixie.

Trixie bringing up how traveling gets pretty lonely a few times in this ep. Pretty much something that’s easy to guess or assume, but that’s also something my Trixie hasn’t been too shy of admitting, either.

Trixie!!! Levitating!!! Herself!!! She obviously learned that from Starlight. Although we didn’t see it much, I’m so fucking thrilled that we see that Trixie’s been improving her magic. An issue I had with To Change A Changeling (which is just a nitpick) is that they really don’t bring that up. Personally, ever since All Bottled Up, I’ve definitely been convinced that Trixie actually has strong potential for magic, given the right teacher. Glim Glam succeeds there. I could go more into detail to why I think this is but I’ll spare you.

Trixie on the couch in Starlight’s office. I don’t even have to say anything. Just perfect.

I love how Trixie painstakingly made room for the both of them in the wagon. To it’s credit, looking at it paused, it at least isn’t as small on the inside as it is the outside. It has an entire cannon in there. It seemed like she set up two beds for them? Perhaps at least one of them was makeshift? It’s hard to tell, since Star brought stuff and then she set up hammocks. It did look slightly cozier in there before the extra luggage, though. What I guess I’m getting at, is that although it’s a tight squeeze, it’s good to see that it can at least fit two ponies, although it’s not entirely ideal. 

Seeing the inside of the wagon’s been a thing I’ve wanted for ages. I could sit and look at every little thing in there and just smile for a while. Super cute.

Trixie really is sweet and considerate, you know. Seriously. Asking if Starlight is sure she doesn’t want to ride instead of walking with her, and giving her more than one chance to back out on the trip if she wants to.

THE SONG. Tell me I’m biased, I don’t care. This is my favorite horse song. I’ve waited patiently for pony Trix to sing... and it’s just.. all so fucking cute. Too much to take in.

More of Trixie’s magic shown in her shielding Starlight. Love it.

“For untold seasons yet to come, our friendship will be here!” “For nine, at least.” FUCKING. WOW. That’s clever but it also hurt my heart. Especially since my favorite friendship duo has only known each other for three of those seasons thus far, and ultimately it’ll only be four. Too soon, Glimmy.

Trixie talking about how she learned the hard way about life on the road and saving bits and all that. I like that. It shows her more mature side, and that she’s a little street smart from experience. Usually she’s kinda shown as less mature than Starlight, and this episode shows the flip side, which I really like.

I love how she’s adamant on buying hay cakes (Haycakes? They’ve used the word pancake before, though. What’s the difference?) from her preferred stand. Like.. me too, Trix. Clearly there’s a higher quality in the line that’s actually got ponies in it.

This is where Trixie and Starlight really start to argue like a married couple. Here I thought Applejack and Rainbow Dash took the prize for that. This is so domestic tho.

The first argument, at least, is short lived. I really liked that. Trixie sighs, presumably not wanting to push farther to where she hurts Starlight’s feelings. Love how she says “No, of course not.” and continues to apologize for getting snippy. She’s really improved on being.. to put it lightly, less bitchy. It’s what I love about watching her, and while To Change A Changeling was hilarious, that was my other nitpick. She had an attitude almost the entire time.. but it was funny, and I wouldn’t go as far as to call it OOC, so I wasn’t mad. The reason Trixie appeals to me so much is that she’s definitely a much nicer pony, but she’s still her. She hasn’t seemingly changed overnight from the first time we saw her, but she’s definitely made an effort. She’s quite the sweetheart when she wants to be.

I love how Trixie states that it’s taken her years to collect all of her magical items. I just think it’s neat. Also, rightfully getting offended when her stuff is called junk.

Coward Trixie returns. This is definitely me looking too deep into it but personally I’d like to think that yeah, after the Ursa event, I’d be scared of animals outside, too.

Starlight snoring and Trixie outright performing in her sleep. Lmfao. I’ve said this like fifteen times already about other things but I love it.

I relate to these tired and grumpy girls, but even I would have made sure to save some food / juice for my pal. Well.. maybe the juice was definitely out of spite. Wish I could scold her, but I would’ve done the same thing.

The grouchy magic show hurt me to watch. It was still funny though. Again, definitely arguing like a married couple. Two tired, angry friends trying to work together is just never gonna turn out right.

I love their voices in the “Practice makes perfect.” “Not today it didn’t.” exchange. So sassy. So higher pitched. Those faces, too. Lol.

Starlight throwing all of Trixie’s shit out followed by Trix yelling “You can HAVE IT ALL!” Oof. Almost like I’m watching a breakup right before my very eyes. Also the way she runs off. These poor hopeless gays.

STARLIGHT GLIMMER CONFIRMED WORST GIRLFRIEND. I’mjustkidding. Naturally I saw this coming from a mile away, but still. Wow. Ouch. I do like though how it seems to be consistent that she can be defensive of her bad decisions. Not really realizing that what she’s doing is wrong.

TRIXIE FREAKING OUT, THEN BEING BROUGHT TO TEARS BECAUSE STARLIGHT TRADED HER WAGON. This hurt me more than you could imagine, but what hurt me even more is that Starlight didn’t even flinch, and was completely insensitive about it for a while. Yikes. I already went into how much I love Trixie’s attachment to her wagon, but this killed me.

Also, pretty sure that selling or trading somebody else’s stuff is illegal, Star. Trixie shouldn’t have beef with Hoo’far. She should just be planning a lawsuit against Glimmer instead.

Am I just crazy or stupid? When Trixie tells Starlight that at least the wagon wouldn’t have traded her away, I was like, yEAH, you’re valid. Tell her. It made total sense to me. Then Starlight just responds with “That’s ridiculous.” Like?? It wasn’t to me? I sound silly now bc I get the joke, it’s an inanimate object, but what I’m trying to get at is that Trixie was pretty much trying to say that if Starlight really was her best friend she wouldn’t have done that.

I love how Trixie doesn’t accept the flattery from Hoo’far like she normally would bc she’s real pissed. To be fair, though, it’s really not his fault. I mean.. okay, a little, considering he should have known that it didn’t belong to Starlight, and that the trade needed to be given the okay by Trixie. He’s not a bad guy, though.

TRIXIE LYING IN FRONT OF THE CART FOR HOURS BC NO WAY IN HELL IS SHE LETTING THIS GUY TAKE IT. AMAZING. Give it up for his patience, too.

Starlight finds out that you win some and you lose some with the bigger caravan. Also, I love how she didn’t realize how fucked up stuff was when she was with Trixie and having a good time. Her regret sinking in seems about right. You can see her start to miss her.

“Sometimes travelling together is hard.” “But you reminded us that you can also make it fun!” Definite lesson that these two needed. Obviously Starlight was breaking before hearing that, but those big sad eyes she gets after. Regret.

“What are you two doing?” “Taking a stand! By lying down!” Lmao. Never change, Trixie.

“Best friends who share a deep bond but weren’t prepared for the emotional challenges of traveling.” Oh, definitely. Really feel like their first trip should have been a short one. Possibly with more planning ahead of time.

Best. Friendship. Chant.

“Only true friends would be willing to act so ridiculous for one another.” Aww. True.

“At a certain point, I don’t even like travelling with myself.” Line I really liked. Also Starlight saying that it’s harder than she thought.

Despite their exchange about knowing not to do it again, eh, still not wanting to completely rule out the thought of them travelling together in the future. Like I said, with more precautions taken, pretty sure they could’ve been just fine. Mainly reserving a room at an inn, since the big issue really just seemed to be them getting crabby sleeping in the wagon. Would’ve preferred it if it kinda gave that lesson and had Trixie say that they’ll know how to handle it next time, with both of them saying yeah, but let’s not make that anytime soon.

Trixie and Starlight almost killed an old man.

That’s it, if anyone even read through all of that. Can’t really say much more. This may or may not be my favorite Trixie episode. I’ll have to give it some time, but I loved almost everything about it. (No Second Prances is my current favorite I suppose, due to it also validating a lot of how I viewed Trixie at the time, and still do.)

Like I said.. it’s just really refreshing to see her take on a more mature stance than Starlight for the most part, since other episodes usually show the exact opposite. Not that Starlight is incredibly mature in her own right, but she does usually take that role when it comes to her dynamic with Trixie. I love any chance we get to see Trixie, but in episodes like To Change A Changeling, sometimes I worry that they don’t give her enough credit. She’s not a complete incompetent bitch, and to be fair, I don’t think she ever really has been. I won’t go into how I personally view her flaws, though. Guess that could be another post.

Until next time. Hopefully there is another next time. Starlight’s line in the song about nine seasons still has me all fucked up and I need help. Maybe one day I could go back and do these for past Trix episodes.