#and then he still has to witness izzy being shot

[jaypentaghast]

let's be real for a second

fang is the one true victim in all this

[veeagainsttheday]

Two lines from OFMD s2 have been rotating around in my head for the last few weeks. 

The first is from s2e3, when Ed is speaking with Hornigold about his sandals, and Hornigold tells him that he always has to have an angle. Ed responds by saying, ‘Nah, mate, I’m actually just a very simple man’ before sharing his thoughts about opening an inn. 

The second is in s2e7, after Ed left Stede, when Stede and Izzy are in Jackie’z. Izzy says to Stede, ‘You know what he did when I told him I loved him? He shot me,’ as Stede says, ‘He shot you. I know.’ Izzy continues, ‘He’s a complicated man.’ Stede doesn’t respond; they look at each other for a moment and then the scene ends. 

First of all - that line of Izzy’s about Ed shooting him when Izzy told Ed he loved him makes me want to start ripping my hair out in frustration. Ed shot Izzy when Izzy announced in front of the crew that vibes were bad because of Ed’s feelings for Stede Bonnet. Ed responded to Izzy saying he loved Ed by making a noise of disgust and walking out of the conversation. So it’s fascinating that Izzy has reframed the event in this way (and not the first time we hear him reframe it - as he tells Lucius a shark took his leg). Stede obviously heard that Ed shot Izzy (he says, ‘shooting people’s legs off’ in the list of reasons why Ed’s in the sackcloth at the start of s2e5), but we have no idea where he heard it from or who told him why. The way he says, ‘I know,’ to Izzy in s2e7 gives me the impression that he’s heard Izzy say it a number of times - he sounds weary. I’m guessing Ed’s never told Stede what really happened, nor any of the crew who witnessed it. But if I could ask the writers about one line from s2, I really think this would be it - I just don’t know how to interpret it (and if anyone has any ideas, I’d love to hear them below!). 

Anyway. Back to those two lines. Ed says he’s ‘actually just a very simple man’ in response to being misunderstood by Hornigold (actually his own self-consciousness). For two seasons, Ed’s been attempting to communicate that he’s got a simple, reasonable desire to retire from a dangerous, violent career and be with the man he loves. Izzy’s response has been to deny Ed that, to call Ed insane, try to keep him in piracy by whatever means he can, and of course try to get Stede killed. By the time Ed’s in the gravy basket, he’s arguing even in his own head that he’s a simple man, with a simple desire for the future. 

Then we come to s2e7, and Izzy still doesn’t get it. He still thinks Ed is a complicated man, he still thinks Ed is acting in a way that doesn’t make sense or requires some convoluted explanation. It’s notable to me that Stede doesn’t agree - we know from s2e3 (and, ya know, the rest of the show) that Stede understands Ed deeply.  Then I think about Ed talking to the ‘wolf’ in s2e4 - ‘It’s a very rare thing to find someone who understands you,’ he says, tears in his eyes, obviously missing Stede but also - fuck, man, that scene with the rabbit is so funny but makes me so sad for Ed, because he really does have a pretty simple desire and he’s spent months - implied years - being told that he’s crazy for having it.

[treesofgreen]

Couple of things from memory because I am buzzing:

- Con has a backstory for the ring but he got it as the last part of his costume when his mother had just died and he asked them to switch the stone from what was in it to an emerald, for his mother, and they did. So the ring has great importance to Con in that way and he says in a different way for Izzy though we'll never hear it (like we won't hear Nathan's harrowing backstory for Lucius - I think neither want to conflict with possible eventual canon)

- Con knows it comes from a good place but doesn't like the "only human in a Muppet movie" bit because he thinks it diminishes and takes away from the very human and important stories/characters/loves of other characters aboard the Revenge

- their first day in person Taika told him he thought of Izzy and Ed as Judas and Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar and I think everyone sang but i couldn't hear for a moment with the way my brain melted.

- Con said (twice I think) that it was very important and special that none of the abuse or violence in the show was directed at queer people for being queer (i was dreading a 'how do you feel about playing a homophobe' question but there weren't any and I thought this addressed it well in an indirect way).

- Izzy would want a snake as a pet and Lucius would want a chinchilla (they're both still getting cats in my head, sorry)

- Lucius' drag name would be Miss Ingfinger. Izzy wouldn't have the capacity to properly chose a name and would go with "Rapier Wit" and Nathan suggested Iz He. con said to ask him again in Seattle and he'll have a better answer.

- Izzy's Starbucks drink is a double espresso with a shot of whiskey. Lucius is a pink drink.

- Con said the show landed so well because it is kind and kindness is so important and needed.

- Con and Nathan are just as flirty and insane and funny together as you would think.

- they told Con Izzy was "the best fencer in the world" lol

- Izzy doesn't feel incomplete because his work is everything (I see some people have interpreted this as ace Izzy which I love. Taken with the other comments about how Izzy doesn't understand his emotions and can't put them into words I think it could go either way, either way I'll be pleased).

[tillychmo]

Holy sh*t, guys I just had a massive brainwave concerning Izzy’s ring on his necktie and what Con told us/let slip about it the other day … !

A timely TRIGGER-WARNING for violence, gore, heartbreak, dubious consent, and torture, before you move on from here.

In episode 109, when Stede is about to be killed by the firing squad, Izzy has his smaller tirade about it being “quick and humane” – on which I have seen multiple takes, usually responding to the fact that it sounds like he is still calling Stede a pet, and referring to him by this animal-coded language. (This was my original take as well. That he was literally comparing 'Stede getting shot by the british' to the humanity of 'putting down your dog, so it doesn't have to suffer'.)

But the brainwave that just hit me is this:

I think – in fact, in spite of this only hitting me like 38 seconds ago, I feel convinced – that these words are not referring to the ‘pet’-thing at all.

Izzy is talking about the love that HE lost.

Think about these lines:

“This is a humane way of ending it. It’s quick. It’s clean. Edward you know that!”

The man/person Izzy loved was killed – in an inhumane, slow, non-clean way. It basically sounds like he was tortured to death.

And I think Ed and Izzy both bore witness to this — that’s why Izzy is saying “Edward you know that!”. He is trying to remind him of the horrors they witnessed when HE lost his one great love. He is trying to protect Ed from going through the agony of what he went through.

(Note: This excuses literally none of Izzy’s actions in s1. I am only talking about how Izzy himself might’ve seen his actions – and what approach Con O’Neill might have had to this specific scene.)

Post-writing edit: The following almost became a very gory one-shot. So please only read on if you’re okay with that. (Same TW as at the beginning — gore, violence, torture, dubious consent, and massive heartbreak.) I wanna be quite clear – this is not entirely what I think happened; this is just what jumped into my head, as I had this brainwave. I am going to be writing a second version of this at some point, where I move A LOT closer to the points already made in canon (especially regarding a named character and a named animal, which does not appear in the one shot underneath here).

ONE SHOT:

I have this vivid image of Ed and Izzy standing in a crowd of pirates – with their captain front and centre, along with this young man who has done something that displeased the captain. The young man is a friend of Ed & Izzy – and he is also Izzy’s great love (though Izzy hasn’t dared to commit to him). It’s a sort of ‘trial’ but there’s nothing fair about it. The young man is being whipped, tortured and beaten – the crowd is excitedly yelling, egged on by a ruthless captain. Izzy keeps wanting to help the young man, but Ed is restraining him, knowing full well that if Izzy does anything that could let the captain know how he feels for the young man, Izzy will be killed too. Both of them feel like their insides are on fire, being forced to watch this. It escalates and the poor young man is turning unrecognisable – misshapen from the violence enforced on his body.

When the captain finally decides it’s time to disperse, the young man is still breathing, though barely. Other pirates are being warned not to go near him, or they’ll “feel the captain’s wrath”. Ed and Izzy are some of the last to leave – their faces dissolved in silent tears and agony for their friend. Ed is holding on to Izzy, to keep him upright on his feet. Izzy has lost all feeling in his body. The deck is covered in blood and water. The air is salty and smells distinctly of iron.

A few hours pass. The captain and the rest of the crew seem merry. Like it’s any other day. A couple of them only half-heartedly so, but they’re still joining in – not wanting to pull attention towards themselves. Ed and Izzy are there too. They’re not joining in, but they’re not sticking out either. Ed made sure they sat down at the corner end of the table – furthest away from their captain, and mostly in shadows. Close to the door, so they can sneak out when they dare to do so. Izzy’s not speaking. Neither is Ed – though he gives a cursory nod here and there to people handing them food and drink. Ed pours a glass of rum and hands it to Izzy, but Izzy grabs the bottle instead, not looking at Ed – not looking at anybody, in fact, but the captain. Ed drinks the rum in the glass himself, as Izzy takes a swig from the bottle.

At some point the captain – full of food and drunk on rum and spirits – starts nodding asleep at the end of the table. The other pirates are rowdy and don’t pay attention to anything other than rum, cards, and drunken singing anymore.

Ed and Izzy take the opportunity to sneak off and see their friend.

It’s after nightfall. As they move outside, they’re met by someone claiming to be standing guard (for sh*ts and giggles let’s hc that it’s Calico Jack – and he’s not actually standing guard over anything, he just went outside to take a leak over the side of the boat and now that he’s seen Ed and Izzy, he wants to see if he can convince either of them to ‘celebrate the night’ (barf, sorry guys, I really hate him 🤢) with a bit’o’buggery …) – neither of them is in the mood for CJ’s sh*t, but they also know that if anyone on this ship would be able to wake the captain from his slumber now, it’d be Calico Jack.

“Nah, man, we just wanted some air —” Ed says, putting a hand on CJ’s shoulder in the hopes of steering him back inside. Calico takes the opportunity to slide underneath Ed’s arm and press himself up against him, grinding his groin against Ed’s hip. Ed sends Calico a ‘flirty’ grin that Jack is too drunk and careless to realise is anything but that. Jack grabs a hold of Ed’s arse, and continues to grind up against him. Ed manages to motion to Izzy that he’ll distract Jack, so Izzy can go to the young man still lying on the deck. Izzy sends Ed a pained expression – but Ed waves him off, annoyed that he’s wasting the precious time Ed is buying him right now.

Izzy managed to sneaks off undetected, as Calico drunkenly leads Ed below deck.

The moon is showering the deck in misty blue-tinted light. As Izzy reaches the furthest end of the deck, he nearly slides on something, looks down and is stopped in his tracks. He has stepped in a trail of thick blood. He follows the trail with his eyes, and is met by the sight of the young man (I’m headcanoning here) – Izzy’s great love – lying before him, motionless and covered in blood, his limbs in horribly awkward positions.

Izzy’s legs give out and he falls to his knees. It’s like the air has been forcibly removed from his lungs.

He tries to take it all in, but everything is clouding his mind. His breath is ragged and the tears are running down his cheeks.

Without thinking about consequences or what would happen if anybody found him, he reaches out, grabbing the nearest part of the young man – his leg. The young man lets out the tiniest whimper of a moan of agony. Izzy’s mind goes into overdrive –

“Felix?? Can you hear me?” he whispers loudly.

The young man stirs and makes a noise in return.

Izzy scrambles – crawling as fast as he can – to reach the part where the young man’s head is lying.

“Felix – I’m here. I’m here. Can you hear me??” Izzy strokes the young man’s head – trying to be gentle, but so out of sorts, hyperventilating and shaking all over, that it’s still a little too rough.

“Ough, I - Iz … is … that you?” the young man somehow manages to get the words out, though it’s clear that it’s costing him everything he has.

“Yeah – yes. It’s – I’m, I’m here,” Izzy smiles through his tears, “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere –”. Moving to cradle him in his arms, Izzy’s hanging onto every bit of the young man’s mangled body that he can.

The young man opens one eye as much as possible – the other is too swollen and bruised. He meets Izzy’s eyes and even through the pain there’s a clear moment of recognition between them.

“Hi –” he says softly to Izzy, nearly managing a smile.

“Hi –” an exasperated laugh, through uncountable tears, escapes Izzy, before his hyperventilated breath turns the laughter to sobs, “I’m so sorry – I’m so sorry. I should have done something. I should have been braver. I sh- I should have stood up for you – I-I —”.

“N-no,” the young man’s voice was coming in ragged breaths, “there was n-nothing you cou-could’ve done n-now … n-not when it came t-this f-far …”

The young man rested his head against Izzy’s chest.

“We have to do something, I gotta get you to shore – I gotta —” Izzy was floundering, trying to force reality to make up a way of saving his love.

“I-I’m d-dying, Iz –”

It felt like Izzy’s heart was slowly sliding out of his chest – it only made him act more frantic.

“No. No, you’re not. I won’t allow it – I-I’ll get someone – I’ll …”

“Iz. It’s over.” Felix said in the softest voice, and Izzy stopped in his tracks. The unwavering finality of those words made the hairs on the back of Izzy’s neck stand on end.

He took a breath, before looking up at Felix again.

“Please don’t leave me.” Izzy pleaded.

“I’ll s-see you again …” Felix eyes was starting to slide shut. Izzy was crying in earnest now.

“L-look at me, Israel …” Izzy met Felix’ eye, “I l-love you –”

Izzy’s eyebrows narrowed and for a brief second he closed his eyes in agony at the words. Those words he had never dared utter. Everyone he loved left him. His dad, his mum – and now Felix … But this was the end. He had to say them now, or Felix would never hear it.

Meeting Felix’ eye again, Izzy gathered all his courage and took in a breath, “I lo—”.

But the sentence got quenched on the way out of his mouth, as Felix’ whole body became limp.

“I - Felix?”

Izzy’s brain couldn’t compute. It was like someone had just ripped reality away from under him, and he was floating into the limbo of infinite space.

The he realised what had happened.

Izzy’s eyes widened, staring panicky at the young man in his arms, “Felix?”.

He tried shaking him gently, but no response. He shook him again, a little more desperately, but no response.

He shook him again – and again – and again — every time a little more vigorously, calling out his name, his panicked desperation rising with every shake. But no response.

“Felix? — F-Felix … ?”

The realisation flushed over Izzy and the overwhelming grief hit him like a tidal wave. Crying, his whole body shaking, and his breath a mess of hyperventilated sobs, he grabbed Felix’ limp body and squeezed him as close to him as he would.

“I’m - I’m sorry”, he heaved in a big breath, “I-I’m s-so sorry, F-Felix”, he wailed, crying so hard he could hardly get the words out.

“I l- … I lo- …” Izzy swallowed and kissed Felix’ forehead, “I love y-you.”

Finally saying it, but knowing that Felix couldn’t hear him, made the words feel hollow, even though Izzy knew it was the truth.

“I l-love you.”

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry sorry, Felix –”

He cradled him closer. He could have sat like this, just holding him, till sunrise if it wouldn’t have been too dangerous for him. But he couldn’t leave him. Not yet. How was he supposed to get up? How was he supposed to leave him here, lying in a pool of blood, knowing full well what would happen when morning came and everyone else, including the captain, woke up. He needed to get up and out of the way. But he couldn’t move. He couldn’t —

“Iz?” a soft voice spoke rang out clearly behind him.

In a panic, Izzy lifted his head and stared in the direction of the sound.

It was Ed. He looked slightly disheveled, and had a concerned look on his face.

“How long were you standing there?” Izzy asked, trying to hold in his crying.

“A little bit …” Ed answered gently and knelt down next to Izzy and looked at Felix with deep sorrow in his eyes.

But the gentleness scared Izzy more than anything. Felix had been gentle. Gentle would get you killed on a pirate ship.

Izzy let Felix slip slowly out of his arms and immediately got to his feet. Without a second glance he just said, “I’m gonna go clean up” and left Ed sitting on the floor next to Felix.

“Iz –” Ed called after him in a whisper. But no response. He turned his head back to Felix.

“I wish this wasn’t the end, my friend. Thank you for everything.” He stroked his left hand over Felix’ hair and placed his right hand on Felix’ chest. Ed sat like this for a moment, before deciding that Felix’s hands should be folded on top of each other.

As Ed placed Felix’ right hand on top of his left, Ed noticed something on Felix’s finger – he stopped for a moment, looking back and glancing after Izzy.

“I recon you’d still want him to have it, wouldn’t you?” Ed asked the body that used to belong to Felix, “yeah, I thought so.”

—

There was a knock on the door.

“Fuck off.” Izzy said annoyed, trying pulling a pair of trousers on his damp legs.

Another knock – and another, slightly more insistent one.

“Fuck OFF!” Izzy shouted incensed, “Can’t a man get a second of peace to take a bath on this fucking ship??”

“I’m not leaving till you open the door.” Ed said calmly from the other side of the door.

Izzy stopped and looked at the door. For a moment incapable of moving.

Then the door unlocked. And Ed looked at Izzy, no more blood on him, and dressed only in his trousers.

“What do you want?” Izzy asked.

“To give you this.”

Ed held out his hand and uncurled his fingers. Resting in the palm of his hand was a ring with a small, green stone. A ring Izzy knew well, because he had held the hand on which it had resided. Izzy’s eyes shot up to meet Ed’s, his expression unreadable.

“What the hell is this?”

“You know what it is.” Ed answered calmly. He knew that this whole situation was too much for Izzy to handle.

“Why the fuck are you giving it to me?” Izzy couldn’t believe that Ed of all people would have dared stealing from Felix like that.

“Because he wanted you to have it.” Ed answered plainly.

Izzy’s mind went blank.

“I’m sorry, what?” Izzy asked breathlessly.

“He wanted you to have it. He told me. A while ago.”, Ed was trying to relay the information as non-emotionally as possible, because he knew Izzy didn’t want it any other way, but Ed’s voice was slightly wobbly, “It was his mum’s ring, and he wanted you to have it.”

Izzy looked at the ring. Swallowed. Took a breath. Swallowed again. Then looked up at Ed.

“What a fucking arsehole.” He said affectionately, quelling the grief that was about to rise to the surface again. He and Ed both chuckled briefly.

Izzy looked back down at the ring in Ed’s hand, holding his gaze on it for a moment. Then swallowed. Ran a hand over the bridge of his nose and over his face, before reaching out and quickly grabbing the ring, as though he didn’t want Ed to see that he took it. He couldn’t even look at Ed.

Izzy reached out his other hand to shut the door again, but stopped it —

“Thank you, Eddie.”

Izzy met Ed’s eyes for the briefest second. The a sob threatened to escape his mouth, and he let the door swing closed.

When Ed saw Izzy the next day, neither of them said a word about the events of the night before.

But Ed saw that Izzy had placed the ring around the knot of his necktie.

The End.

(Literally sharing this within an hour after writing it. And a second version will follow at some point!)

[pavardscherie]

Benjamin Pavard+locker room smut

curse words, benjamin pavard

⤷ pairing: benjamin pavard & female reader ⤷ summary: benji takes reader to the changing rooms while he's not allowed to play because of a second booking in the past game.

⤷ izzy talks. how many times has this been in my dreams and fantasies? i can't count anymore but probably so often lol. I'm such a simp for that man.

⤷ warnings: basically p in v, mentions of past sexual interactions, naming and touching genitals, bruises, dirty & teasing talk

⤷ requests are open.

his eyes followed the ball on the pitch, the possession switching between the players of bayern münchen and Paris saint-germain. the return match of the champions league, after the red-white's won the first game. but instead of being on the field with his mates, benjamin was forced to watch from the stands.

a second booking turned into a red card, and he was suspended for the second game between the teams. the action that caused his suspension was a necessary slide tackle against lionel messi, or he could have scored the equalizer.

minutes after minute passed, and curse words, in english and french, slipped out of benjamin's mouth whenever a good chance was unused, or the defenders of psg blocked a perfect shot.

you accompanied him to the match, but even your attendance could not distract him. the curse words floated out of his mouth, the anger spreading through his veins. for others, impossible to see. but you saw the thick vein on the side of his throat, the blue line, pulsating, and the clenched fists, which were hidden deep in the pockets of his jacket.

but what you witnessed, caused difficulties in concentrating. the image you saw, resembled the appearance and attitude of benjamin when he hovered above you. hands placed neatly beside your head on the pillows, forehead pressed against yours as his hips started to slam into you.

you still felt the purple-ish marks on your waist from last night. after you decided to beg for harder thrusts, and promising him that it won't hurt you, benjamin complied quickly and took a certain liking to the rougher side. the thick scarf around your throat covered the small love bites, which would only spark more attention.

but the thoughts, the skin slapping while benjamin's thrust became rougher by the minute. on all fours on the bed, your arms giving in to the strength of the football player, your cheeks pressed into the large pillows scattered over the blanket. the reminders did not leave your head after hearing the curse words slip out of benjamin's mouth several times by now.

clenching the thighs together, you didn't realize how his eyes have left the pitch after you didn't answer him and focused on the ways, you tried to hide what games your head played with you. bottom lip caught by your teeth, you chewed on the sensitive skin and stared ahead. one more glance at benjamin, and the wetness between your legs would pool uncontrollably.

"you don't look good." benjamin remarked, closing the small distance between the two of you, and placing his hand on your lower back. your lids immediately fluttered close, the small touch of his fingers, the feeling of his hands on you made the current state worse. while you tried to hide the obvious, benjamin was far from letting those small reactions slip. leaning down, the head tilted slightly to reach your ear, you couldn't see how his lips curled into a smirk.

"are you horny?" he muttered against your shell, his warm breath fanning over a small spot of exposed skin between the hairline and scarf. how convenient that your hair was thrown up in a messy bun, allowing him easy access when he was in the mood for dirty talk.

his voice was a raspy mess, the constant screams through the stands and the deep, muttered curse words, ruined the gentle spark. the large paw on the curve of your back wandered slowly around your body, finding a home on your waist to pull you closer into his towering figure. "cherie, do you want me to do something about it?" his whispers made you feral, the desire to feel him pulsating inside of you again after last night became unbearable. nodding your head as an answer, you knew, it wasn't enough of an answer for benjamin. he loved words.

" tell me, cherie. what do you want?" pressing your body closer against his, you felt the growing tent in his black cargo pants. leaning closer to your ear, benjamin's soft lips grazed over your jaw and placed a gentle kiss on the crimson-tinted span of your cheek.

you turned your head in his direction, glancing up at his face. pupils dilated, the colorful ring of hazelnut and chocolate turned darker, the lust shown in the mixture. it was impossible to hide how much the small conversation, and the thought of the other being horny, affected the two. nothing could distract benjamin from watching important matches. except for your sudden rise of desire for him. he could never let that slip.

„i want you.“ you whispered, attempting to keep your voice low enough from being heard by the fans around you. the stands were crowded, but benjamin couldn’t allow himself another scandal after losing his driver‘s license. standing on your tip toes, your gloss-covered lips brushed slightly over his dry ones. „to fuck me.“

six words that easily pushed his buttons, and switched his personality. with his free hand, he carefully adjusted the tent in his pants while you still stood in front of him, and the other guided you through the stands. fifteen minutes of the first half were left until the tunnels would be filled with players and coaches from both teams. letting his hand slip from your waist and down your arm, benjamin held your hand in his as he jogged through the crowds and towards the changing rooms in the lowest floor.

before you realized how many turns you took, or in which corridor you landed, a door fell into the frame. your back collided with the cold metal of the door, and your wrists held in place above your head. „we only have ten minutes, cherie.“ benjamin dipped down his head, continuing the insult on the side of your throat with a mess of kisses. the gentleness disappeared when your desired were shown with words.

„be a good girl, and bend over the bench in front of my jersey for me.“ he instructed, taking a step back again to give you enough space to move. it has always been a fantasy of his, to fuck you in the locker room, your eyes focused on the name on the jersey so you never forget it. „open that belt for me, and pull them down before bending over.“ pointing his finger at the tight jeans you wore, benjamin crossed his arms and watched your movements attentively.

without saying a word, or even trying to discuss the possibilities, you complied to his wishes. hands fiddled with the belt, quickly opening it and your pants. underneath waited a pair of plum lace panties. a sight which caused benjamin to groan quietly.

turning around as quick as you could, without falling over the denim material pooling around your legs, you fell to your knees. belly pressed to the wooden bench which looked way too low to even bend over it, your delicate palms placed on the floor tiles. ten minutes wasn't enough for sweet and loving intercourse.

benjamin's footsteps echoed through the empty locker room, the clinging sounds of his belt rang in your ears. thoughts and images of last night clouded your mind, and left a damp spot on your panties. kneeling down behind you after freeing the painfully hard dick from the prison of fabric, benjamin carefully pulled down the lace material. dilated pupils watched how the strings of arousal connected the fabric and your pussy, and he felt his cock twitching at the insanely hot sight. "just a quick one, cherie. ready to take me all in?"

he didn't need an answer, the words were rambled syllables. fleshy fingers wrapped around his shaft, his reddened tip brushed over your pussy and gathered the wetness as lube. without awaiting a reaction from you, benjamin pushed the tip of his dick between your folds, slowly entering your wet hole.

the burning stretch was welcomed by you, as the pleasure of being filled by him overshadowed the slight amounts of pain. and as the time was short, benjamin didn’t give you much time to adjust at all. his thrusts immediately were relentless, hips snapping against your ass and pushing your waist against the wooden bench.

the impact caused a whimper to escape your mouth, already preparing for the painful marks of purple and blue to blemish your belly by tomorrow. three, deep and perfectly angled thrusts were enough to lose the strength to hold your head up. but it wasn’t in the cards, if benjamin demanded something from you, you wouldn’t find release until you played by his rules.

„head up, cherie. look at the jersey. i want you to remember exactly who‘s the only one who can turn you into such a fucked out mess.“ benjamin‘s groans interfered with the little reminder speech, his calloused palms placed against the smooth skin of your waist as the pounding turned harsher and faster.

ten minutes, he reminded himself multiple times, while your sweet smell lingered in his nostrils and made it difficult to gather straight thoughts. another scandal for the french football player could cause the end of his time at bayern münchen. exactly not what he wanted. but the innocence laced with the color of your eyes, and the delicious way you chewed open the thin skin of your bottom lip while the thoughts of him ravished your mind, was enough to forget the rules for at least ten minutes.

the curse words spilled out of his mouth, mixed with animalistic groans and growls when his hard dick disappeared between your folds. you obeyed benjamin‘s orders, holding your head high, reading your boyfriends last name with each thrust of his hips. the feeling of benjamin‘s tip, brushing against your g-spot, felt like it came from another world. it was indescribable with words, and unbelievable to comprehend when a particularly rough thrust, almost pushed you into the pleasure-filled trance.

“come on, cherie. let go for me, squeeze me tightly with your perfect little pussy.” benjamin’s chest was pressed against your back, hovering carefully about you and whispering the praising words against the material of your sweater. the french accent, the way he emphasized words differently and gave each syllable a different sound, made it impossible to resist what he demanded. it took merely two thrust, your walls pulsating as the waves crashed over you — completely and at once. no chance to prepare or to inhale enough oxygen, the loud moans and benjamin’s name coaxed out of your throat.

clutching the legs together, you forced yourself to keep your lids open, and focused on the white capital letters as your orgasm brought you to a new high. walls clenched around benjamin’s shaft, squeezing him tightly like he wanted, he came merely a thrust later. white spurts decorated the insides of your pussy, your bundle of nerves pulsating while staying untouched for this time and his deep groan rang in your ears. normally, benjamin’s calloused fingertips rubbed messy circles over your clit but the time didn’t allow any extras right now.

pushing his hips deeply against your ass, benjamin stayed inside of you for a couple more seconds to empty himself completely. even with only ten minutes, he wouldn’t waste a second to stuff you further with his semen. soft lips placed a soft kiss on your clothed shoulder blade and another in the middle of your spine before pulling out of your wet, stretched hole and taking a step back. arousal dripped out of your ruined pussy, covering the insides of your thighs. a pleasing sight for benjamin’s eyes as he tugged away his limp dick and zipped his pants back up.

when you found your strength again, you pushed yourself off the uncomfortable wooden bench. deep red marks blemished the skin around your waist, leaving another reminder of what happened in the locker room after benjamin received a second booking in the last game. pulling up your pants, you slipped the belt through the loops again and closed it over the button of your jeans. “with a minute to spare.” benjamin analyzed, glancing over at the flat screen on the wall. the first half was nearly over, and somehow in the past eight minutes, bayern münchen scored the first goal. another step further into reaching the champions league finale and raising the trophy.

“you still annoyed, you can’t play today?” you asked, taking a step closer to your boyfriend and wrapping your arms around his chest. benjamin towered over you, dipping the head down to place a kiss on the crown of your hair with a chuckle. “still bothers me, but i got a better treatment than on the pitch.”

exchanging a satisfied smile, the door to the locker room bursted open, and the handle hit the white brick wall for the millionth time. cheering men in red and white jumped into the room, clapping the hands together and talking about the goal, when the attention landed on benjamin and you, in the middle of the room. “aye, there’s our defender with the second booking.” thomas cheered, raising the hands in the air and walking straight towards ben.

“what brings you to the locker rooms?” leon asked, a bushy brow raised as he greeted benjamin and you. “just showed my girl where champions have their deserved break.”

and as if he knew that calling the team champions without standing in the finale yet, would direct the attention on the match again, he draped his arm over your shoulders and pulled you into his side. satisfied that the questions dissolved before being completely under attack by their noisy behavior, benjamin smiled down. “i love you.” he mouthed and became the reason for the stretch of watermelon-pink that covered the span of your cheeks.

[londonspirit]

Spoilers follow for the season finale of Our Flag Means Death.

After starting the season with its lovable cast split in two, Our Flag Means Death concluded its second season with the entire crew of the Revenge sailing off together into the literal sunset—well, almost the entire crew. With Rhys Darby’s Stede and Taika Waititi’s Blackbeard staying behind on land to make a go at being innkeepers, they’ve found their happy ending, which could be where the story of Our Flag Means Death finishes for good.

But according to series creator David Jenkins, there’s still more story to tell, and the fans rallying behind a third season may just help make that dream come true. After witnessing the filming of the season finale on the show’s New Zealand set—including Black Pete (Matthew Maher) and Lucius’s (Nathan Foad) emotional knife-swapping wedding—we caught up with Jenkins to discuss the most emotional moments of the finale, the dramatic action sequences, and what might come next.

Vanity Fair: What did you hope to achieve with the ending of season two?

David Jenkins: It’s bittersweet. There’s death and there’s the rebirth of Stede and Blackbeard’s relationship; there’s a funeral, there’s a wedding, and the idea that this family is going to keep fighting even as they lose members. And then it’s about belonging to something. It’s not just a bunch of people who are desperately stealing from each other and killing each other. There’s a way of life that they’re fighting for.

You’ve talked in the past about a season three. Fans are already circulating petitions, hoping there will be a third season. Will we get to see these pirates again?

There’s always a chance, if viewership is good. I think we all need to figure out what era of television we’re going to be in when we come back and who can afford what. I like our odds. It’s a cool show. We have a really good following. We have a passionate fan base. Max has been great in terms of publicizing us. I’d love to do another season of the show. I’m sure they’d love to have a reason to do it again. You can feel like it’s special making it. It would be nice to be able to get everybody together again for one last shot at it.

So despite the happy endings in the finale, you’ve left things open for a third season.

A lot of times, with this narrative of characters, same-sex relationships end on a dour, downbeat note, where one of them dies and it’s unrequited or it’s unrealized; something horrible happens and they’re punished in a way. So it was important to leave it open and a lot more show to go, but also leave it in a place where it’s happy. The end of the first season isn’t a happy ending. It’s kind of happy. Stede learns what love is and that’s happy. But I think it was important to be like, Okay, these boys did their work this season. They get to have a little happiness at the end of it.

I visited the set when you were filming one of the final episodes. Izzy (Con O’Neill) had been killed off, and he couldn’t talk too much about that. But now: Why did Izzy have to die?

There’s a trope that I like with mentor stories, where the mentor dies in the second act. Our protagonist outlives the mentor and then they have to go on. We felt like Izzy’s story had reached its conclusion, where we put him through enough. And then there was the realization that he is kind of a mentor to Blackbeard and that he is kind of a father figure to Blackbeard. It felt nice to have him die and have Blackbeard be upset by it, because Blackbeard killed his father. But this is a father figure that he’s losing that it’s hard for him; it's sad and he doesn't want him to go. Izzy has such a beautiful arc in season two; he does a lot of the things, has a lot of the breakthroughs that you want that character to have. It felt like: It’s time to give him a full meal. And it’s also a pirate show, so he’s got to die.

How would you describe the filming of season two?

It was good work, but it was hard, hard work. It’s a big show; it’s basically a one-hour show that we’re doing on a half-hour budget. So everybody has to work triple time keeping up with it. There were tactical challenges in season two. Now we’ve got two ships and two crews, and we had the unique challenge of filming the mermaid scene in a tank, and a storm in one episode. I love the fourth episode, and Buttons turning into a bird, and Izzy losing a leg. Blackbeard is saying: “I want to turn into a bird.’’ He’s kind of saying, I need to change. The idea that if you want to have something with this guy (Stede), you’ve got to change. And that seems to me to be the key to the season.

As a New Zealander, I loved seeing the scenery on the big screen—the lush bush, big, windswept beaches, and wild, expansive landscapes. How were you able to use the setting in season two in New Zealand?

It was jaw-dropping. In New Zealand, you go out the west side of Auckland, and it’s like the most beautiful beach you’ve ever seen. You go to Bethells Beach, and you can turn the camera here; you can shoot the entire thing. You’d shoot it a little bit this way, you’ve got, like, a Bergman movie. You go to the ocean, you’ve got From Here to Eternity. The freedom that you have and the beauty, I’ve never experienced anything like that before.

The battle scenes seemed to be far more elaborate and really felt like the show was leveling up. What went into filming those?

Jacob Tomuri, our stunt coordinator, is exceptional. He did Mad Max; he’s Tom Hardy’s stunt double, and he’s just so capable and good. And so a lot of it this season was that we have a short time frame, we move very quickly, and, again, we have a half-hour budget. We don’t have a one-hour budget, and we don’t have a one-hour shooting schedule. So a lot of it was just picking our shots and saying, Okay, we’re going to do a battle sequence. Let’s storyboard it. Let’s make sure that we know what the stunts are going to be, and let’s make sure that the location is spectacular. So we shoot it on that sandbar behind Bethells Beach, and it was like a dune which went on forever…. A lot of it is just seeing what New Zealand has to offer geographically. And then deciding, yes, let’s do that, and then building it around that, and then making sure that we’ve planned enough, that we can pull it off in a way that’s safe but also has enough size.

What was the idea behind having Stede as a merman in episode 3?

The idea was to make something that was just beautiful, and to get beauty and have beauty around them seeing each other again and their need for each other. To do that and to do it in a way that it’s a comedy, but to do it in a way that’s earnest and genuinely doing it and singing a Kate Bush song. We hit on the idea of a mermaid early on in the season two room, and [we said], Oh yeah, well, we have to put that in. There can’t really be mermaids on the show, but there can be in limbo, kind of purgatory, brain-damaged land as Blackbeard’s dying.

I particularly loved Zheng Yi Sao and the new female characters. I know that she’s based on a real-life pirate. Tell us a bit about the character of Zheng and how she came about.

Zheng Yi Sao is the most successful pirate in history. And we never knew anything about her in the West. She was so talented and so good at what she did that the Chinese government had to broker a treaty with her. She was about 100 years apart from Blackbeard and Stede. So we’re making that up, that she’s in this world and that she’s in the West. But it just seems like there should be so many stories. What she did was amazing. Her crew was largely female and largely women that have been discarded by society.

She was doing a social movement on top of robbing shit and doing everything that pirates do. Her reasons for doing it are more impressive and perhaps can be read a little bit more as altruism than somebody like Blackbeard, who is not a good guy. Or Stede, who’s probably not the best guy. And it just felt fun. It’s like, Well, who’s a cool third captain that we can put into this season that would give Blackbeard and Stede a run for their money?

As a female heterosexual viewer, I particularly loved that storyline. Were you wanting to reach a broader audience?

The first season is a lot of dudes. And so it’s nice to think, Okay, who else can we add into the stew? I started thinking about her while we were shooting season one. And it looked like perhaps we could get a season two, and she seemed like the most formidable person to add.

How do you feel about the attention from the fans?

I love it. I can’t possibly hope for this to happen again on another project. I hope I make things that people like and they want to engage with. But I would say the thing that separates this fandom is the level of positivity, like almost uniform positivity that just makes it nice to be able to engage with. And I think that’s rare. They’re so kind and interesting and talented, and so why wouldn’t you want to engage with that? It’s an honor.

Do you think of Our Flag Means Death as primarily a queer romance?  For this show, it’s important to me just to write a really bold-bodied romantic show that happens to be between two characters of the same sex. I think that the story beats don’t matter, because if you’ve been in love and you’ve been hurt and you met someone you love—hopefully we all know what those feelings are. And then in terms of listening to the room and having a room that’s on a spectrum of queerness and has nonbinary writers, if it's working for everyone in the room, the story’s working. And if it’s bumping for anybody, then you go in and retool: Hey, what should we do here to make sure that we’re getting all of it right and we’re not just assuming that?

Because on some level, love is love. And on another level, I get to see myself in a rom-com all the time. Someone who’s nonbinary and someone who’s queer doesn’t get to see themselves in a mainstream rom-com pirate thing almost ever.

Are there any other characters you want to talk about in terms of their development in season two, that you feel are relevant to the script?

Izzy’s the big one of the season. Just to give him a whole meal and see that character go from a villain into somebody, really, that you can identify with and care about. And Con O’Neill did such beautiful work. I love him as an actor. His character is a joy to write. And maybe it’s masochism, but I do feel like the character that’s a joy to write often dies.

How about Blackbeard and his arc?

He’s a damaged guy. He learns to love and he almost dies. And he comes back. He kind of goes through rehab. He has to wear a bell on his neck like a cat. No one trusts him. He’s like in Superman 2, where Christopher Reeve loses his powers, and he’s immortal. What happens if Blackbeard loses his powers and his outfit but still has to be in a pirate world? Who is that guy? The first season is about Stede Bonnet’s midlife crisis, and the second season is about Blackbeard’s midlife crisis. And then when they both have their midlife crises, they can open a B&B together. The chemistry between Rhys and Taika, and that friendship of 20 years, is key to the season.

How would you describe Blackbeard and Stede’s relationship in season two?

I don’t think Stede and Blackbeard are ready to be married. They’re emotionally saying: “Let’s give this a go.’’ Black Pete and Lucius are a little further along, and I think a little more mature. And yeah, it was also nice to see a formal union, I think, and between those characters. I love that relationship, and I love Matt Maher and Nathan Foad together; they have such a wonderful chemistry. It’s nice to see that couple kind of come to the fore in terms of maturity, that they are in fact a little more mature than Stede and Blackbeard.

A left field question: What level of research have you done on gay relationships on pirate ships? How common was queer romance among pirates?

Pirating has been so whitewashed and straightwashed, and it’s guys on boats confined to small spaces, and they’re also people that didn’t fit into normal culture. And so I do think there’s a history of same-sex romance at sea because it’s people who don’t fit in on land.

To not talk about that in a pirate story is to not really tell a pirate story. They’re criminals and did some really terrible things, but also, like, they were counterculture, and there was a reason they’re on those boats beyond the fact of being poor. I have to believe that in a society that has a term for marriage between crew members, same-sex romance was common.

The season’s third episode is called “The Innkeeper,” which fans definitely took as a hint toward a potential fate. How did you seed that outcome for Stede and Blackbeard through the season? And did you want fans to see it coming in a way?

I don’t know that you could really see it coming. We like the idea of Blackbeard pining for something. Beyond lighting ships on fire and shooting people, he’s longing for a normal life. We knew where we were going with that, and we knew that they would eventually end up perhaps opening an inn.

Back to the whole community around OFMD: Did you feel an enhanced level of responsibility, because people are feeling so seen by the show and have an affection for the show, when you were creating season two?

As opposed to responsibility, it feels more like relief—that people feel seen and they feel good about it and they liked what we did. And so it feels like, Okay, somebody’s out there and wants the show. The makeup of the writers room looks a lot like the makeup of the fan base. So as long as we’re true to our stories in the writers room, I think we just feel excited that there’s somebody waiting on the other end to enjoy it.

[sycophantastic]

I think I'm losing my grip on the Ed/Stede chemistry, and their chance at a solid rom-com ending.

The true happy ending, I think, would be Ed and Stede winding up together somewhere in the middle of the lives they escaped, but at this point they've shot right past each other into the extremes where they each started, except in reverse.

See, they had very similar struggles at the beginning of the series, just under very different circumstances. They both had external expectations weighing them down. They both had practically zero opportunity for self-determination. They were both discontent and trapped in lives they felt powerless to change or leave.

They did eventually leave, but they just... like I said, they each went TOO HARD in the opposite direction of their initial circumstances instead of meeting in the middle.

As of s2e7, Ed's trying to force himself into a mundane life that he won't find truly fulfilling because it'll turn out as dull and repetitive as piracy became. He's making his life small & slow, trying to hide himself away, denying himself the things he actually wants, just like Stede did before going to the sea.

As of s2e7, Stede is actively cultivating a reputation, a persona. He's building up recognition, hero worship, fear, etc. He's popular and "important". He's immersing himself in the exact same thing Ed has desperately been trying to escape this whole time.

They need to find their way back to some sort of middle. Maybe they really do open an Inn By The Sea, so Stede can sail off and have adventures every now and again, and Ed can learn to be the friendly jailer he described in his "gravy basket" vision. Some of the crew may even want to stay and help. (Probably not Izzy, though; I'm guessing he won't ever stop pirating)

They can't and won't find their way to that place when they're still just as clueless about how to navigate an adult romantic relationship (a functional one, not like Anne & Mary's "adult" relationship) as they were before. This season, as far as I knew, was supposed to lead them to a more mature place as middle-age men in love, but that suuuuuper didn't happen.

They still don't/won't say everything that needs to be said.

Stede hasn't explained the psychological torture he was forced to endure at the business end of Chauncey's pistol, the way all his deepest fears and insecurities were used to bludgeon his psyche into pulp, right before he bore witness to ANOTHER accidental right-through-the-eye Badminton death. He hasn't explained that he wanted to save Ed from the plague, the curse, of Stede Bonnet. He hasn't explained that he couldn't conceive of a reality where Ed didn't eventually either succumb to the poison of Stede's mere proximity, or come to the same conclusion as Chauncey.

Ed hasn't explained that after laying his heart at Stede's feet, and then being abandoned/betrayed, his heart wound up shattered. He hasn't explained that he'd almost let himself waste away before Lucius convinced him to start gluing his heart back together, only to have the fragile broken pieces pulverized into dust by Izzy's threat. He hasn't explained that he lost touch with reality, did a lot of things he regrets, things he finds sickening, things that nearly took everyone down with him. He hasn't explained that he fears Stede will leave him again, which is why he wants to "take it slow," because he's scared to truly start anything; if it never starts, it can't ever end.

And we have 30 minutes to resolve all this, plus MUCH more?!?

I don't see how one final 30 minute episode can resolve... I mean, much of anything, really. Because that's all we're guaranteed at this point. There's not been even a whisper of renewal from HBO, and 30 minutes isn't nearly enough time to stick the landing firmly in rom-com territory.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

I am gonna talk about the izcourse one more time today, but the villain of this post is not the Izzy stans nor Izzy himself. It's the anon. So this does not actually count towards breaking the promise I made this morning about taking a break for a couple days.

I know we occasionally poke this fucker by grading their anons or whatever and I know the Izzy Stan's are presumably having the time of their lives considering that he's not blocked yet on that side of Tumblr, but I'm gonna say something pretty uncomfortable for all of us alike. This anon sucks, they're racist and ableist and probably some other ists that they just haven't gone mask off about yet. They are suicide bating and they are waging a harassment campeign, but the fact that they're in the inboxes of literally everyone proves that this is not an ideological thing. It's just about making other people, and probably themselves, miserable.

We are baring witness to someone else's months long mental breakdown. I think it's one person because they say the same things over and over again in the same type face. If that is the case they're probably unemployed or young enough to not need a job yet given how much time to post they have, although one of my many sometimes nemeses on this sight has suggested they're in their thirties and they didn't dispute it. they're cyber stalking an ungodly number of blogs. And there's something going on with them that makes it such that their chosen pass time is sending Anon hate. What I'm saying is that if I had to guess how the Anon is doing I'd say this person is probably the farthest thing from mentally well that I've personally interacted with, and I'm a head case who works in a field where I occasionally have to assist in a mental health crisis. (I'm a head case and that is my job those two things are unrelated)

I'm not saying any of this to get you to go "oh poor Anon". They are still the villain of this post. Nor am I saying it to justify the harassment. I'm saying it because it should sort of change how we interact with them. I'm being very frank about what's going on here. Another uncomfortable thing about this whole situation is that this person is beyond any of our help. They are semi anonymous and even if they weren't you kind of have to know a person irl to get that sort of help for them. The best way to deal with this situation is in fact to freeze them out. I tried reason. Many others have tried dunking. None of it is working. After a certain point this may be a sort of mutualistic digital self harm for some people. (I goad you into saying hurtful things about me, I say hurtful things about you, we continue making each other feel like shit forever) we really do have to be the ones to cut them off. Their only goal is misery. Don't let them make you miserable.

I don't usually make a call for someone to be the bigger person, because I like to get down and dirty. But this is different. It's not about the show or the fandom. It's about a vortex of suffering that we're only making worse by getting sucked into. That's not a moral judgement on anyone who has interacted in good faith or bad with this anon. It's practical. Block, maybe look up what reporting an anonymous message does and if it does anything lmk if you feel so inclined. I'm not telling you to take it lying down, but we've all gotten our shots in at this point there's no point in dragging it out unless you're trying to maintain the image of being persecuted, which is not worth the suffering it causes on your end.

[angstysebfan]

The Past Can Break You - 7

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

AU: Avengers

Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?

A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.

Warning:

--

Dot lays on her bed, hands under her head, staring at the ceiling, wondering. It’s been a week since you ran away from Bucky. Bucky has been locked away in his room ever sense, and hasn’t come to see her yet. I mean I get he had feelings for you, but enough is enough. Bucky has to know that you were not the one he was meant to be with. The fact that she managed to find him nearly a century later is fate. Surely Bucky knows that.

Suddenly there is a knock on her door, bringing Dot out of her thoughts. She opens and sees Bucky standing there, looking tired. 

“Oh Jamie, what is wrong?” Dot asks innocently enough.

Bucky looks at her with sad eyes, “Y/N left me. She didn’t tell me why, but she left me. I-I feel so foolish. I thought she loved me,” he said as tears came to his eyes.

Dot pulls him into a tight hug. And of course because he cannot see her face, she smirks in victory. After some time Bucky pulls back. Dot grabs his flesh hand and pulls him into her room and toward her bed.

“I’m so sorry this happened Jamie. When did she leave?” Dot asked.

“Last week,” Bucky said looking away. “I have been trying to find her, but she has made it nearly impossible. Should have known not to trust one of the best spies in the world.” Bucky says.

Dot furrows her brows, “She is a spy? I thought you were all were Avengers.”

Bucky looked at her, “The Avengers are made up of all different people with different skills and powers to fight the evil in this world. Y/N was kidnapped as a child and turned into a spy. Natasha helped her escape and now she is... or was... an Avenger. She always felt we were her family, so I must have done something if she was willing to leave. I just wish I knew what,” Bucky said.

“Jamie, I know you love her, but obviously she didn’t love you as much as you thought. You need to stop thinking about what you could have possibly done wrong and move on. Now I want to hear more about the different skills and powers you were talking about with the Avengers. I mean I have lived here for several months and know nothing about this,” Dot says.

Bucky looks at her with a mix of shock and annoyance, but shakes his head, “Uh, well you know Steve has the super soldier serum, Tony is a genius and has made suits that can do anything, Natasha is also a spy from the Red Room, Clint is a spy and the best shot I’ve ever seen, Sam can fly and was in the military, Wanda has powers and can read minds, Vision is a robot from the same source that Wanda got her powers from, and Thor is a god from another planet,” Bucky said quickly.

Dot paled a little, especially hearing Wanda can read minds. She looked at Bucky, “And... and you?” she asks quietly.

It took a lot to not smirk at the scared expression on her face, but Bucky leaned in, “Me? Well, I was taken by Hydra, given a similar serum like Steve, and was brainwashed to become the greatest assassin in the world. they would freeze me until they needed me and I would kill anyone they wanted, and any witnesses. Unfortunately that included Tony’s parents, but he and I have made up so to speak,” Bucky says.

He watches Dot pale more as she suddenly looks frighten of the man on her bed, “How... how could you not tell me that before? We spent so much time together and you.. you never mentioned any of this,” Dot said.

Bucky looked at her and tried to seem sincere, “Does it matter? I mean as you said maybe this is fate, the two of us being here, in this time, together. I mean I do miss Y/N, but maybe this is a sign that I need to stop fighting the feelings I have... for you,” Bucky said.

“Jamie... I-,” Dot hesitates.

“Surely you still love me like you said you do, now knowing my past,” Bucky says.

Dot swallowed and put on a brave face, “Y-Yes Jamie. I-I still love you,” She says.

--

You wait in the conference room, knee shaking under the table as Steve and Nat sit in front of you.

“Y/N, you have to calm down,” Nat says.

“I’m trying but this is taking too long. What if it doesn’t work. What if--”

You are cut off by the door opening and Bucky walking in. You both stop and stare at each other. Your heart beats quickly in your chest as your stare into his blue eyes. He stares right back into your Y/E/C eyes.

“So? Did it work?” Nat asked, snapping you both out of your staring contest. Bucky looked at Nat, and then back at you before he smirked.

“She is terrified, but is going to pretend she can handle being with me. This should be easy,” he says.

You smile and look at Nat you nods, “Good, step 1 complete. The bitch knows who she is dealing with. Now Barnes, I need you to seduce her. Make her think that you are interested. We need this to go on for a bit before she snaps, which she will. Or I’ll snap her like a twig,” Natasha says.

Nat continues to talk about the beat down she wants to give Dot, while you and Bucky go back to staring at each other. Bucky walks around the table to stand in front of you, “She thinks you are still gone,” he says softly.

You nod, “Good. She needs to think she won.”

“Can we talk, alone? Tonight? Maybe on the roof?” Bucky asks.

You take a deep breath and look down at your hands, “I... sure, Buck. Once Dot has gone to sleep. You belong to her now,” you say.

Bucky steps closer, “I know you know the truth, but please know that everything that I am doing now is to make her pay for hurting you. If I belong to anyone, it’s you, baby,” he says before kissing your forehead and leaving the room.

You take a shuddering breath as tears come to your eyes. You know Bucky is innocent, but all you can hear are the words his voice said to her. Bucky still doesn’t know what happened, but you know he will ask you relentlessly until you tell him.

You have to keep your eye on the prize. Dot needed to pay for what she has done. But when it’s over, will you be able to get over everything and still be with Bucky? Will this plan drive you further apart?

--

Chapter 6 / Chapter 8

So what do you think the overall plan is? Will the reader be able to ignore the fact that Bucky needs to seduce Dot, while she is still in pain about everything? Feedback is appreciated.

Permanent Taglist:  @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff @thefridgeismybestie @swiftmind @aleaisntcreative @lookiamtrying @pinknerdpanda @morganclaire4 @iamvalentinaconstanza @verygraphicink @im-squished @joannie95 @peace-love-hobbitness @connie326 @amandamdiehl @harrysthiccthighss @its-izzys @roserose26 @rebekahdawkins @elegantobservationstudentsblog @broco8 @shinykoalacat @white-wolf1940 @jessyballet

Story Taglist: @afuckingshituniverse @wintrfld @cherries-and-berries @ilovemarvelanne1 @lilli2411 @minty-fiction @peakywitch @blue-mostacho @r0bbieshapiro @uncreativezx @sarahjoestewy-blog @geekanista @imtaashu @vicmc624 @browneyedgirl365 @happinessinthebeing @leyannrae @austynparksandpizza @aliloz-3 @starkleila @440mxs-wife

[sorion]

Thoughts on OFMD S2

So I’ve given it some thought (incessantly), and I’ve decided what I would like to see in S2 of Our Flag Means Death. (I could write the according fanfic, but that would be quite a bit of work XD)

While I like the reunion-and-then-resolving-all-issues fics, I don’t think that’s the way to go. It’s too easy. They’re way too in love to actively think about what needs resolving and would just fall into place next to each other again. (I know Ed’s trying to be all dark and dangerous, right now, but I’ll remind you that in the last shot he’s crying his eyes out and staring forlornly out the window. The moment he has Stede in front of him, he’ll fold.) 

So here’s what I’d do instead:

I’d delay the reunion, and make Stede constantly miss the Revenge, so that they can grow into what they want and who they are without the other showing it to them.

Edward is the tricky one, but I think it’s crucial that he learns who he is now and that he stands solidly with his identity, before he can stand with someone else.

Since the fandom has pretty much decided that Lucius lives in the walls, we’ll start there. Ed’s on his own, and Lucius gets thrown out of a hatch because of some big wave or something. Ed is crazy relieved and happy that he’s not dead and holds onto him until he’s done saying thank you and I’m sorry enough times, because if he hasn’t killed Lucius, that means he hasn’t killed the part of him that’s still Ed. After some bitching, Lucius is going to be the character to help solidify Edward. They can later incorporate Frenchie and Jim (and even Ivan and Fang), as long as they keep the development from Izzy until such a time that Ed can fend off Izzy’s words.

Obviously, Izzy won’t be happy when he finds out who his captain has become again.

Meanwhile, since we have the time, Stede has to learn more pirating skills on the go. I think he’s quite certain about his identity after leaving his family, but the self-esteem could use some work. He also has to prepare for the fact that Ed might not be the person he left behind and what that might mean for him. Also, for dramatic purposes, I’d particularly teach him to throw knives, so that, once he catches up with Edward, he can dashingly jump to the rescue.

Rescue from what, you ask? Well, I know some of you might hate me for it, but I need a threat that could get close enough to Ed to make a quick intervention necessary. And that’s going to have to be Izzy. They’re not on a ship, because Stede can’t catch up to them there without being seen at all, so it’s on land somewhere. Also, to be frank, Izzy’s absolutely the type who might get to a point where he thinks that “putting Ed out of his misery” would be the humane thing to do. Cue Stede and his newly acquired knife-throwing skills. (Sorry Iz.) Izzy lives long enough to witness the reunion, and if he’s so inclined, he can comment on it with one last and emphatic “Fuck”.

So, yes. I like that idea. But I’m not going to write it, because that would take forever ^-^’’’

Thoughts?

[thejolexgroupchat]

the one where they met in med school - part nineteen

confrontations and loft spaces if you haven’t read part eighteen, you can find it here

(July 2008 cont.)

 The next day was rough for both Jo and Alex. Neither of them got much sleep the night before and Alex realized very quickly that Jo was actively avoiding him when he walked into Meredith's hospital room and saw this disapproving look, on her face.

 "You know?" Alex made a face.

 "Izzie told me," Meredith replied. She huffed and narrowed her eyes. "I can't believe you said that to her."

 "I can't believe I said that to her either,” Alex sighed. “I was angry and when I get angry, I lash out.”

 “Yeah, I know,” Meredith shook her head at him. “Alex, you messed up. Badly. You came for her where it hurts the most. You don’t shove someone’s insecurities in their face.”

 “I know that, Mer,” Alex huffed. “I know that… I was just so—so angry that I wanted her to hurt the way I was hurting. Which now that I say it out loud it sounds stupid because the one I should be hurting is Avery. God, I just want to pummel his face.”

 “Don’t do that,” Meredith warned. “Nothing good can ever come out of that.”

 “I make no promises,” Alex excused himself and left the room. 

 He was on Torres’ service today and would be helping assist on a spinal surgery with her and Shepherd. Alex walked up to the patient room where he was supposed to meet the two attendings and prep the patient for surgery. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Avery present, standing beside Shepherd.

 The surgery would take all day, and Alex was dreading being stuck in an OR with his fellow resident. Alex scowled and glared at Jackson the entirety of the operation. 

 Jackson on the other hand, felt nervous. When he’d woken up that morning, the night before had been a blur. He’d had so much to drink that he was nursing a pretty bad hangover when he walked into the hospital that morning. He hadn’t even remembered the kiss he’d planted on Jo until he watched her skitter past him in the hallway, refusing to make eye contact. 

 He felt bad for what he’d done, because despite what Jo may have been thinking, Jackson wasn’t a bad guy. He was a guy that got a little too cocky after having a little too much to drink and went out in search of hints and clues that hadn’t been there to begin with to make him feel better about trying to make a move on Jo while she was clearly with Karev. 

 By the time the surgery ended, Jackson decided that he needed to talk to Alex once and for all, if he ever wanted the stares burning into the back of his head to stop. Jackson needed to find Alex and apologize. He also needed to apologize to Jo.

 Jackson decided that the latter would probably be easier to talk to than the former. He made his way to the peds floor where he knew Jo had been working today. Jackson maneuvered his way around the floor searching for the woman he’d hoped he hadn’t completely ruined his friendship with. Finally spotting her, Jackson reached for Jo’s arm and pulled her into an empty linen closet.

 “Jackson, listen. I don’t know what you think you saw or felt but I was not—”

 “Jo, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain anything to me,” Jackson motioned for her to stop talking. “I just wanted to apologize for last night. I’m not usually that guy. I don’t know what came over me, but I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or cause you any trouble. I like you, but I wouldn’t ever try to purposely mess up your relationship. I respect you too much for that.”

 Jo eyed him carefully, “Okay.”

 “Okay?” Jackson tilted his head in confusion.

 “I’ll accept your apology,” Jo crossed her arms in front of her. 

 “Really?” Jackson’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “I thought I was gonna have to work a little harder for that, but thank you.”

 “It’s all in the past,” Jo shrugged. “Besides, all you did was open my eyes to issues that were already present in my relationship, so I guess I should thank you.” 

 “For what it’s worth, I think you shouldn’t give up so easily. I know Karev isn’t and I know I wouldn’t if I had you,” Jackson smiled shyly. “Anyway, I’m going to go talk to your boyfriend now, so wish me luck.”

 “Be careful,” Jo warned. “Alex and I aren’t afraid to throw punches for each other.”

 “I will.”

 Jackson and Jo walked out of the linen closet and went their separate ways, each going in opposite directions. Alex—who’d come up to peds to see if he could finally get a moment alone with Jo—witnessed as the pair walked out of the room together. 

 Alex could see Jackson walking towards him. His fists balled in anger at the thought of what could’ve possibly happened in that linen closet. He clenched his teeth and watched as Jackson approached him and Jo walked out of sight. With his blood boiling in rage just like it had been over the previous hours, he tried to let it go, but failed. Swiftly and without even thinking, his fist found its way to Jackson’s jaw. 

 “What the hell, Karev?” Jackson winced while rubbing the impacted area. He felt Alex pull him by his scrub top into an on-call room and didn’t even react when he felt his body pressed against the wall. 

 “You listen here, Avery. You come here acting all snazzy and flirty with your money and your last name and your shiny pair of blue eyes, but she is mine, you hear me? Jo is the best thing to ever happen to me, and you are not going to take her away from me,” Alex twisted his hand around the newcomer’s shirt. 

 “I didn’t mean to cause any trouble,” Jackson surrendered, putting both his hands up. 

 “Yeah, but you did. And from what I remember from med school, you’re not a bad guy, so I have a feeling that you’re going to measure your words and actions from now on,” Alex said, pushing him away and letting go of the taller man. “Now, I hear you got stuff to do, so get going,” he added, eyeing Jackson as he made his way out the door and closed it just to open it again after a few moments. 

 “Karev,” Jackson called his attention. “Sorry about your girl,” he said before closing the door one last time and walking away. 

 Alex, now feeling a lot calmer than a few minutes before, decided to act mature. Running towards the door, he opened it and chased the other man. 

 “Avery,” Alex called out, making him turn around. “Sorry about your jaw.”

***

 The next few days, Jo and Alex hardly ever saw each other. Partially because Jo was purposely avoiding him and partially because ever since Izzie, Lexie, and Cristina caught wind of Alex’s major screw-up, they’d been intercepting Alex’s every move. They wouldn’t allow him to get more than a hundred feet within Jo’s presence. 

 “Come on, you can’t do this forever. You can’t keep me from talking to her. She’s my girlfriend,” Alex argued with Cristina as she held up a hand in front of him so that he couldn’t walk out of the residents’ lounge to follow Jo. “Look, I know I was an ass, but we share a bedroom and I haven’t seen her in the past three days. She sleeps in Izzie’s room, she comes in to grab her clothes while I’m in the shower, she even took her damn pillow with her. ”

 “No you listen right here, Evil Spawn. Jo has never, ever given you a reason not to trust her and now all of a sudden you assume the worst of her? Because what? You feel threatened by pretty-boy’s presence? Because he kissed your girl? What the hell is wrong with you?” Cristina slapped the side of his head. “Is it so horrifying to think that someone else might want her? Jo is hot and smart and funny and way too good to be putting up with your bullshit.”

 “You think I don’t know that?” Alex exclaimed. “You think I don’t know that Jo could do so much better than me?” Alex let out a sigh of frustration. “I’m an ass, I’ve always been an ass. Jo saw that side of me and still loved me. She wanted me. Which is great and I’m thankful for it because I think she’s perfect. I think she’s amazing and everything any guy could ever want. So yeah, I feel threatened and I get defensive and mean and I lash out because I’m so freaking terrified she’s gonna realize that she could do so much better than me and leave me. Avery is better than me. He’s got the name and the looks and the money. And he’s a good, decent guy. He’s what she deserves. The years we’ve spent together will mean nothing if she finally realizes that there is someone out there that could offer her more than I ever could.”

 “Are you dumb or stupid?” Cristina asked, prompting a scowl from Alex. “No, it’s a serious question. Are you an idiot? Because that might just be the dumbest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth.” 

 “Oh shut up,” Alex glared at Cristina, walking away from her to sit on the bench behind them. “This is why people don’t tell you things.”

 “Alex, I’m not making fun of you. I’m being serious,” Cristina sat next to Alex, eyeing him for a moment before speaking again. “You may be right, Avery might be everything you’re not but Jo doesn't care about that. There could be a million guys better than you lining up at her door begging her to be with them and she’s always going to choose you. She loves you, idiot. I don’t know why honestly, but that’s the only thing she cares about. She doesn’t care about the money or the name or how much that asswipe tries to butter her up with compliments, she’s only got eyes for your dumb ass. Get over your own insecurities before you push her away.”

 “You make it sound so easy,” Alex sighed. “I’ve never felt like this before. I’ve never loved someone so much that I’m constantly worried that I’ll lose them. I’m used to losing people. I’m used to things being temporary and people turning their back on you or getting sick and being unable to help you or themselves. I’m used to all of that crap. But Jo… Jo’s the first person that I’ve ever had that I really can’t lose. I tell her all the time that I want forever with her, I tell her that I want to grow old with her, have kids with her, marry her one day. I tell her those things on a daily basis, but I hardly ever hear her say them in return. Sure she shows it, but it would be nice to hear it sometimes. It would be nice to know that she feels the same way too.”

 Unbeknownst to Alex or Cristina, Jo had been listening in on the conversation from outside the lounge. She had left her ID badge in her locker so she’d made her way back down to retrieve it when she stumbled across the conversation going on between the pair of friends. Jo's heart sunk as she heard Alex's words of worry. She had no idea Alex felt that way. It was true, she didn't say it often, but Jo thought she'd made it clear that all she was waiting for was for Alex to ask and she'd marry him in a heartbeat. She didn't know that he was constantly terrified that she'd find someone better for her--as if that person existed--and leave him behind. She had to do something, say something that left him with no doubts about himself and the love she held for him.

***

The next morning, Jo walked up to Alex and pulled him into a nearby on-call room, interrupting the conversation he was having with Meredith who'd just returned to work. Alex raised his eyebrows in question when she locked the door behind them, "Oh, now you want to see me? After having Lexie, Izzie, and Cristina block me from getting within a hundred feet of you and switching with you so that you’re not stuck on a case with me all week?”

 “Just shut up,” Jo leaned up and grabbed Alex’s face with both hands and leaned in to kiss him. Jo pulled away when she felt him tense up. “Alex, please. Relax.”

 “Is this what you want from me? Sex? Because if that’s all you want, might as well go ask Avery. He’s more than willing to give it to you,” Alex pulled away and crossed his arms. 

 “Stop being an asshole,” Jo shoved him slightly. “God, I brought you in here because I miss you and I wanted to talk to you. Not because I want to use you for sex. I miss your voice and your hugs and your laugh and notes you slip into the pocket of my lab coat when I’m having a bad day and the way you wrap your arms around me when we sleep. But for some reason you think that I don’t care about those things. That I’m just using you to keep my bed warm until someone else comes along. I thought you knew me better than that.”

 Alex had the decency to look a little ashamed of himself as he took a seat on one of the beds, “I’m sorry. I really am, Jo. I was… projecting my worries and fears onto you and that’s not fair to you. Not when all you’ve shown me is love and commitment.”

 “I know,” Jo sighed. “Which is why I’m being much more gracious and forgiving than many people who advised me otherwise.” She sat down beside him. “This doesn’t mean that I’m excusing your behavior. Missing you and forgiving you doesn’t mean that what you did wasn’t wrong. It means that I love you enough to know that we are worth getting through this. After everything, what we have is too precious to just throw away.” 

 Alex spared a glance at Jo, “You’re not mad?”

 “Oh, of course I’m mad. I’m livid and I’m hurt,” Jo replied, causing Alex to wince. “You are my best friend. You know me better than anyone has ever known me. You love me more than anyone has ever loved me. And still, you thought I was capable of betraying you? Of being unfaithful to you?” She blinked away a couple tears. “The fact that you don’t trust me hurt me more than anything. Because I trust you with everything, Alex. Even though it terrifies the crap out of me, I have given you all that I am and trusted you with it. I trust you with my medical decisions, my life, my body, my heart. So yeah, I’m hurt and upset, and I have every right to be. But you also have a right to be scared, because all your life you’ve been told that you aren’t good enough. And I get that, truly. Because for the longest time, I thought the same thing about myself. You know who showed me that I was good enough and worthy of love, though? You. You showed me that. So, now it’s time for me to show that you are too.” 

 Jo placed her hands back on Alex’s face, forcing him to look at her, “You are good enough. You are loved and worthy of every single bit of affection and care. You have the best, most kind, and gentle heart, even though you cover it up and I’m the only one who ever really gets to see it. Not everyone’s like you. Not everyone is good. There is no one who could ever replace you. Not when you take up every single one of my spare thoughts and when you practically hold my heart in your hands.”

 Alex pressed his forehead against Jo’s, “God. I’m a jerk, aren’t I?”

 “Sometimes,” Jo chuckled. “But it doesn’t take away from how good you are.”

 “I don’t wanna fight anymore,” Alex released a breath. “I know I’ve still got things I need to work on and fix, but I don’t want to fight with you. This whole thing started because I was blinded with jealousy and scared I was gonna lose you. The most ironic thing is that for a minute there, I thought it was over. I thought I had really screwed it up this time. And it would’ve been my fault, because my behavior drove you away.”

 “We’re not over,” Jo assured him. “I don’t ever want us to end. I want to die holding your hand like in the super cheesy rom-coms that Izzie and Lexie can watch for hours and sob over.”

 “I do too,” Alex kissed Jo soundly. “Come back to our room. I hate sleeping without you. I can’t sleep without you.”

 “Me neither,” Jo responded. She stood up and extended her hand. “Come on, we have to get to work. But I’ll see you tonight after our shifts?”

 “Yeah.”

***

“Would you mind taking a detour?” Jo said as soon as Alex got inside the car later that evening when they walked out of the hospital. 

 “Why? Do you need me to drive you somewhere?” he looked at her. She could see the tiredness all over his eyes, but was too excited and nervous to back out. 

 “I want to take you somewhere. I know you’re tired, but this is really important to me,” she grabbed his hand. 

 “Okay, then. Wherever it is, here we go,” Alex shot a smile at her. 

 ***

 “What are we doing here? What is this place?” Alex frowned as they walked inside the empty space. 

 “It’s a loft space,” Jo followed him across the room. 

 “Jo, it’s a crime scene,” he turned around, facing her. 

 If he was honest, the place looked worse than a crime scene. It had clearly been occupied by wildlife and probably some of the homeless people he had seen outside, the whole room smelling of urine. He couldn’t really understand why Jo had been so insistent on bringing him here. 

 “Stop. You’re ruining it,” Jo complained, a frown playing onto her lips. 

 “Someone beat me to that,” he chuckled. 

 “Shut up. It’s all I can afford,” Jo stopped right in front of him, arms crossed as she avoided meeting his eyes. 

 “What?” Alex shook his head in confusion, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together. 

 “I took everything. All my savings, everything that I had, and it was almost enough to cover the whole thing,” Jo said. 

 “Wait. You’re buying this? Alex stared at her incredulously. 

 “Well, we are, if you want to pitch in. I put in an offer,” Jo looked at Alex nervously, sounding almost doubtful about the words coming out of her mouth. 

 Alex looked around one more time. The space that had previously looked so useless to him suddenly gained a lot more meaning and potential. Still, he didn’t really know how to respond to what she was saying. 

 “This is what I want, Alex. I am very thankful for Meredith. She has been such a good friend, allowing all of us to live with her, but this is what I want. Our own place, for us. I saw this place, and I know it’s not much, and it’s obvious that we won’t be able to live here forever, especially if we ever decide to have a family of our own, but we can make it anything, whatever we want. Because I love you. And I love living with you, but I think it’s time for us to have our own place, just us. If you want that, if that’s what you want too. And, you know, it would make me the happiest person in the world if you did, because there isn’t anyone in the world I’d want to do this with. Hell, there isn’t anyone in the world that makes me safe enough to do this,” Jo paused. “I know I’d don’t say it very often, but I want it on record that I said it twice in one day. I want to be with you until I die. This is a step towards that. I want to build a life and a home with you. So, what do you say?” Jo asked. She was scared, but hopeful he would want to do that with her. 

 Alex pulled her close to his chest and closed the space between their lips. “I love you so much, Josephine,” he said, their foreheads touching while they smiled. 

 “So, is this a yes?” she asked. 

 “This is a hell yes. Let’s make this place our home.”

Did you ever doubt that we would fix it ? let us know what you thought about this chapter and what you'd hope to see later on in the comments below!

[evansfm]

she’d forgotten just how much she LOVED it : the deafening sound of a crowd to her right and a live band to her left . everything fell away the moment the house lights went dark and the stage lit up ; her view of the world was distorted through a camera lens , and her trigger finger was fast on the shutter button . she’d been told before , time and time again , that photography was something ANYONE could do . . . point , shoot , move on to the next . but years of experience taught her it was more than that . to be the best behind a camera , you had to know PEOPLE . . . you had to recognize minute moments of pure , unfiltered human emotion and grab them before they disappeared forever . and evan was the BEST with a camera in hand , something she was still trying to convince herself of . 

self - doubt was buried deep when she was in the moment , though , focused on her surroundings . live music was the closest thing humanity had to MAGIC , she thought , the way it could bring strangers together in intimacy . . . the way it could make you feel like you were floating if only for a couple of hours . she did her best to translate that into her photographs , but the artists she worked with always made it EASY . they loved their work as much as the fans in the crowd did , and it was evident in the way she watched every musician she’d had the pleasure of working with pour everything into every performance . saint valentine was no different , no matter how BIG they’d gotten over the past several years . 

and they were big . the o2 was the biggest venue evan had ever shot in , and though she’d been the only one backstage , it seemed she wasn’t the only one in the pit , trying to get that coveted money shot of nicky haven at the mic . he was notoriously UNFRIENDLY with cameras , never a fan of being in front of them or having them in his face while performing . it was precisely why evan arrived early that day , camera bag zipped up and tucked away . for the first few hours , she just hung out with the four of them , getting to know them and letting them get to know her . by the time they reconvened in a side room set up with evan’s photo gear , she knew to have nicky’s younger brother –– a roadie that tagged along on all of their tours –– nearby . she knew that their drummer –– with her long , black hair and dazzling smile –– was the only one who could get a laugh out of him . that he was a bit sweet on her . she knew that he looked at his band like family and that he hardly trusted anyone else . 

so she cleared the room . 

it was like that with all four of them ; she’d spent the morning getting to know them , the afternoon shooting what she now knew to be the cover for their next single , and the evening doing what she knew best . she carved out a space for herself in their lives , if only for the night , and made it so hardly anybody noticed when she lifted the camera to her eyes . backstage , then on stage , then in the crowd . photographing live music like riding a bike , because she never forgot how to do it , and she’d only gotten better as time went on . . . evident in the way they’d CHOSEN her to document their first ever sold out arena .

it was unlike anything she’d ever experienced from a creative point of view . occasionally she’d find herself at shows this big , mostly when she was younger –– beck had always been a big fan of mumford & sons , something evan still quietly carried with her . but back then she was one of thousands , a face in the crowd that kept watch on her brother , rarely so unabashedly joyful . being there on the job , though , was completely different . . . having the means to wander where she pleased , slipping effortlessly through an electric crowd , shooting from the shadows of a stage bigger than she imagined . it reminded her of why she picked up a camera in the first place , pausing magic moments in time and turning them into tangible things to be kept forever . 

even more , though , it put her world –– her life in london –– into perspective . moving through concrete halls of the arena as it emptied , making her way backstage , she flipped through some of the raw images she’d gotten in the last couple of hours . her feet felt light , and her stomach was alight with fluttering from excitement . this was what she was BEST at . this was what made her heart feel full . the thought of her desk back at nme , the all-staff meetings and assignments with restrictions or specifications . . . it looked a lot more like what she was SUPPOSED to want . it was logical , working with the safety net of a publication . it felt like a step backwards , a step towards the life she was building in galway , before everything wonderful about manchester happened . 

“ admit it , ” evan peeked up from her camera screen –– beaming –– to see all four members of saint valentine as they lingered outside of the packed green room . nicky had his arm flung around his younger brother , and a crooked smile pasted on his lips , “ that was unlike anything you’ve ever seen before , right ? ”

“ consider me minorly impressed , ” evan said , tucking her dslr back into her bag . her hands instinctively cradled the film camera around her neck .

“ more like majorly . ”

“ are all american musicians t’is sure of themselves ? ”

“ no , ” lindsey , their lead guitarist named after fleetwood mac’s very own –– and certainly living up to it –– ruffled his shaggy hair with a towel , “ nicholas here just has a massive ego to compensate for other shortcomings . ”

an unintelligible grumble sounded from the taller boy , lost in the scuffle of nicky trapping him in a headlock and dragging them into the green room . spencer , their bassist , now back in his wire-framed glasses groaned and followed the both of them , uttering weak words of protest . only izzy hung back , beautiful black hair damp from a hard night’s work and finally pulled back into a long ponytail . evan wondered a few times how she managed to keep her vision clear on stage . she flashed a dazzling smile after the three of them , then turned back to evan .

“ dudes , am i right ? ”

evan’s gaze shifted from her to trail after the three of them , jostling each other about as people began to swarm for congratulations . despite the lightness in her chest , there was something small missing . . . an ounce of longing gripping at her stomach –– she missed all four of them .

“ absolutely ridiculous , ” she laughed before her gaze shifted back to izzy , “ you , miss , could out-drum just about ANY of t’e musicians i’ve worked wit’ . absolutely killer . ”

“ don’t flirt with me when i have no chance , connely , ” deep brown eyes sparkled in jest as she added , “ i know kiv o’niell’s got first dibs . ” shared laughter filled the hallway , “ you coming in ? we’d love to have you . ”

“ um , ” evan turned once more , peering into a hectic , happy room . a smile settled on her lips , “ i’ve actually got plans , but tomorrow ! i’ll stick around after tomorrow . ”

izzy studied her for a moment , giving a slow nod and an understanding smile , “ he’s in boston , right ? ”

“ not yet , ” evan sighed , not bothering to ask how she knew . she was sure she’d slipped it into conversation at some point that day , “ toronto . t’ey play boston in a couple days . reckon i can catch him in between press rounds if i time it right . ”

“ well , go on . we’ll see you tomorrow . bring that magical little machine with you , too . ”

“ you got it , ” evan lifted two fingers to her temple in a small salute , not needing to be told twice . her feet were moving before she’d even finished .

maybe it was the confetti fluttering about in her stomach . maybe it was the realization that perhaps nme wasn’t the dream she thought it was . maybe it was the sight of three boys jostling each other around after a good show . her only instinct , her only real thought , was to call kieran . to tell him all about how she’d gotten an infamous trouble maker to open up , how her photographs would be used as cover art for a stand alone single , how nothing quite compared to being in the thick of a live show . . . and how 20,000 people with a band she didn’t truly know couldn’t hold a candle to THE FOUND in berlin . . . let alone the found later in their career . it could’ve been the endorphins , the adrenaline , but evan felt certain in what otherwise seemed like a whim : being confined to a desk wasn’t it for her . she didn’t know what came next . . . leaving nme or locking down her own studio or heading out on tour with another band , but she knew she wanted to tell him . she was happier than she’d been in WEEKS , and the only missing piece was kieran .

even if things hadn’t been picture perfect with them lately . distance was easy when they were just an easy drive away from each other , but with an ocean , a tour , and ever changing time zones working against them things had been . . .  more difficult than what they were used to . evan tried to chalk it up to overthinking when she felt a hollowness in her chest after he missed a call . . . or worse , after her mentions flooded with a girl she wanted nothing to do with . she’d been familiar with the nastier side of the internet for a long time , if only because of her proximity to four boys rising to fame , but after she and kieran made it clear to EVERYONE that they were far more than friends , things had only gotten worse . it was easy to ignore before bex . easier to brush away as though it were nothing but a nameless , faceless few who put their opinion where it didn’t belong . but now , with evan in london and kieran ( and bex ) in the states . . . things were BRUTAL . especially as more and more usernames tied to the found’s opening act wandered into her tags or her mentions . she’d kept it to herself , for the most part , knowing that he couldn’t really do anything to change it . . . but it wasn’t like bex , herself , was helping . she couldn’t help the occasional curiosity that came when she couldn’t sleep , only to find a clip from bex’s story , fawning over kieran the way she had shamelessly back in manchester as evan was standing right there . 

she learned quickly to monitor her time on social media ; these days she mostly only used it when work required it of her . the last thing she needed was an array of new tagged posts on instagram , all having nothing to do with her and everything to do with her boyfriend . she’d known for some time about the rumors , and since stumbling across them she’d tried her best to tune them out . it did nothing to soothe the things she’d been actively working to unlearn over the last several months . the things her father , who left his entire family for another one , left behind . the things a boy , who she’d thought would be her first love despite his constant need to make her feel inadequate , left behind . kieran walsh was everything those men could never be . . . but it was easy to let the mind run wild when he was thousands of miles away .

even with the recent distance –– with the missed calls and miscommunications –– she still ached with missing him . she still wanted nothing more than to tell him about the night she’d just had , the one he’d been SO SURE would go well . she wanted to tell him that he was right . . . and that maybe she’d leave her desk behind to start something new . so she moved quickly from the empty bowels of the arena to the crowded lobby areas , smiling at but aptly dodging anyone who recognized her by CHANCE , kieran walsh’s girlfriend . she poured out into the parking lot with the rest of them , and only when she was exhaling as she flopped into the driver’s seat of her car did she pull out her phone . 

‘ hey , checking in with you babes . are you alright ? do you need me to come over ? ’ isla’s message sat at the top of a mountain of notifications , every single one from her work email address . . . and her personal .

‘ COMMENT REQUESTED ’

evan’s brow furrowed as she typed back to isla : ‘ great actually ???? why ’

but the answer to that question was tucked away in the emails flooding her inboxes . over a dozen emails from over a dozen different publications were reaching out , hoping for her thoughts on an article linked at the very end of each .

she’d been walking a tightrope over the past few weeks , balancing in the breezes that tried to sway her off center . work . distance . arguments . rumors . however all of it was stuff she could handle , for the most part . . . this , though , was like someone took a pair of scissors and snipped the rope as she was standing in the center of it .

‘ ‘I DON’T KISS AND TELL : Bex & The Found’s Kieran Walsh Confirm Rumors are True ’

it was nothing she hadn’t seen before .

" Rumors have circulated all over the internet throughout The Found’s wildly successful North American tour, and for weeks all we’ve gotten were vague answers from Bex and silence from Kieran . This past Saturday , however , it seems the pair –– speculated to be growing intimately closer over the course of tour thanks to Bex’s ever present social media presence –– finally decided to make it known outside of their inner circle . . . those rumors may not have been rumors after all . Summer in Toronto is warm , but these two were hot (and heavy?) outside of Everleigh . . . ”

and then her vision began to blur as a photograph came into view . she blinked , turned up the brightness on her phone , and held it closer as she stared and searched for some sort of flaw in the composition . . . a tell tale sign of photoshop , a detail that proved it only LOOKED like them , but wasn’t . . . 

but she found nothing . only bex and kieran swept up in each other’s arms in an intimate looking moment , a moment no one was meant to see . the telephoto lens caught her smile perfectly , beautiful as ever as hooded eyes looked over at kieran . what’s worse was . . . it looked like he was smiling too . wrapped up in each other the first photo , walking away from the club’s exit together in the second . 

nausea began to settle in as she stared , unable to read any other part of the article surrounding the photographs . things began to fall into place , one by one . the way she’d picked up the phone –– maybe she truly didn’t remember evan , because maybe evan didn’t exist at all in the states –– , the copious number of videos and photos evan had been tagged in but never got around to seeing , the secret keeping , the missed call . THE MISSED CALL . it was that night . . . when time got away from him and he texted instead of calling . she hadn’t understood then , but she had a hunch now that maybe . . . maybe it was because bex was there , laying on the side of the bed that should’ve been HERS .

her chest began to rise and fall in rapid breaths , every cautionary tale and lived experience flooding her lungs at once . everything from the past few weeks toppled over onto her chest because she’d been RIGHT to worry about bex . she’d been right to feel like the place she left in the boys’ lives was being filled with a girl who had eyes for kieran . she was right to tell kieran to be CAREFUL with that one . . . because it wasn’t insecurity , and it wasn’t being a JEALOUS  girlfriend . it was instinct , and her gut feeling was never wrong . 

or maybe it had been , when it told her it was SAFE to allow herself to believe that love stories didn’t have to turn into tragedies . . . that not every man would hurt her the way declan had or leave her as her father did –– trading her in for a newer , more expensive model . 

but kieran , with his arms wrapped around bex and a smile on his lips , had done BOTH . . . and hadn’t even had the decency to tell her before telling the world . 

am i worth so little ? she thought , am i so easily replaced ? so easily unloved ? how could i be so stupid . . . so naive ?  

her phone screen was a blur without definition , clear droplets hitting the glass like the beginnings of a slow summer rain . her clothes suddenly felt too tight , frantic breathing ripping at the seams of her shirt . her stomach lurched and turned and somersaulted , unsteady and queasy and . . . 

she shoved her door open , slipping out of her car and kneeling just on the other side of it . tucking her hair behind her ears , grasping curls in a ponytail behind her neck , she threw up on the pavement of the parking lot . it brought no relief , though . in fact , her cheeks were still stained with tears . her chest was still heaving with labored breath . her head was still racing . . .

when did it start ? did he put up a front at first or did he immediately find himself in need of a distraction . . . one that was close in proximity and ready and willing . why wouldn’t he just BREAK UP with me ? being dumped would’ve been easier . 

was he bored with her ?

was he in need of someone smarter ? someone prettier ? someone more accessible ? someone who knew the life of a musician far more than she could ever understand ?  

she stood , wiping her mouth with the back of her hand . 

maybe it was a misunderstanding . . . a doctored photo . . . 

the parking lot was nearly empty . . . how long had she been like that ? motionless in her car as tears puddled over the article until she had no choice but to move . . .

evan’s lashes fluttered , blinking away tears as they came ; she had no idea when her hands had begun to shake , but they trembled as she pulled up her recent calls . his name sat there near the top of the list . . . maybe if she called , he’d tell her it was a fake . a rumor . a mistake . or maybe bex would pick up again , still wrapped in his bedsheets in the midst of an afternoon off of press . her thumb hovered over his name .

kieran had WATCHED her change for a boy who didn’t love her . he’d seen the aftermath of a broken heart . he’d witnessed the hurt she felt when it came to her father , the anger . and yet there he was , crystal clear in a photograph breaking her heart for the world to see . 

kieran , who swore he loved her . who swore she had nothing to worry about . who swore that she was just a jealous girlfriend the first time evan brought up her discomfort with bex . who swore he’d come home to her . 

it was worse than declan , because she hadn’t loved him this much .

it was worse than her father , because she’d never really promised to stay .

her thumb tapped the screen and she brought the phone to her ear ; the shrill ring came three times before anyone picked up .

“ evan ? ”

“ mam , ” she huffed , voice cracking as silent , angry tears finally broke into a choked sob , “ can you –– . . . could you –– . . . i t’ink i –– ” 

“ evie , my sweet girl , take a breath , ” her voice was sharper now . evan imagined her sitting upright in bed , spine straightened with worry , “ tell me what’s going on . ”

“ he –– . . . kieran –– ”

“ is he OKAY ? ”

“ YES , ” she shook out her free hand , slight frustration creeping in and only fueling the tears , “ yes he’s . . . i mean he looks . . . i t’ink maybe he’s ch-chea– ” she couldn’t even get the word out ; she was going to be sick all over again . 

“ oh , evan –– ”

“ could you just –– could you PLEASE come to london ? ”

there was a pause , agonizingly long . 

“ i can be t’ere tomorrow . ”

[iamtrebleclefstories]

I’m Happy Right Here with You

Hi guys!! This story was born out of some prompts that were sent my through comments on my story Didn’t Think on AO3 as well as here on tumblr. So, be sure to check out my prompt list if you want some more stories :)

Great big thanks to @doc-pickles for being my beta!!

What is so special about this fic is that it is a birthday gift for Nat!! Happy Birthday Nat! I hope you enjoy this fun and rather long, jolex fic!

89 - “Oh God, please don’t tell me we had sex.” 

33 - “Put me down. You know I can walk, right?”

92 - “Don’t freak out, but I think I’m pregnant.”

Season 10 AU where Jo and Alex do not get together in 9x24, but she moves into the frat house with him and Cristina

“You know what you need? Some picture frames. And throw pillows. Ooh! And some comfy blankets that you put on the couch. Coasters too! We leave beers lying around everywhere and all of the new furniture are starting to get water rings on them.”

“You know, when I asked you to come to Target with me it wasn’t so you could criticize the house,” Alex rolled his eyes.

“I’m not criticizing the house,” Jo looked at Alex pointedly. “I’m just saying that we could really use some things to make the place more homey. It’s not like you don’t have the money for it, the rent check I give you every month is proof of that.”

“The house is homey,” Alex scoffed. 

“No it’s not. It’s like a frat house,” Jo laughed. 

“Exactly,” Alex grinned. “That’s all part of its charm.”

“Oh whatever,” Jo shook her head. “You just don’t want to admit that you’re too damn cheap to do anything about it. That and if the house looks barren and creepy, the women you hook up with are less likely to want to come back.”

“Woah... just hold on a minute there. The women always want to come back,” Alex smirked. “And it’s never because of the house.”

 “You disgust me,” Jo choked on the water she had been drinking. 

“That’s because you’ve never slept with me.”

“Yeah, and I’m never going to.”

“You say that now princess,” Alex teased. “But I promise you that if you did, you’d be coming back for more.”

“Shut up,” Jo slapped his shoulder playfully as they continued to browse around for items. 

Jo would be lying if she said she’d never thought about it. In the past year that she’d known Alex, she’d acquired a new best friend. At first, she tried to convince herself that she wasn’t attracted to him. He was an ass and a douche at times, but funny and sweet if you took the time to pay attention and get to know him. Eventually, the good things about Alex started to outweigh the bad and Jo found herself growing impossibly closer to this man. 

So when Jo started having feelings for Alex, it wasn’t something unexpected. There were so many moments that she had just wanted to grab his face and kiss him, but she had never wanted to mess it up. Alex was the most important person in her life. She never felt like she had anything to lose before she met him. So she kept her mouth shut and continued like nothing was different, even after Jason and the tree and the storm. 

Besides, it’s not like he reciprocated her feelings. Alex was all for hookups and one night stands, and had the emotional maturity of a sixteen year old. Relationships weren’t his thing, and Jo didn’t think she could handle being another notch on his belt, not when her feelings were involved. She didn’t want to make a fool out of herself, especially after seeing the types of girls Alex brought home. He had a type; they were all tall, skinny, blonde, with model-esque features. She on the other hand, was average height, brunette, and a little thicker than his usual parade of women. 

Unbeknownst to Jo, Alex had been thinking about how much he wished he had the balls that night in the NICU to tell her how he felt. Honestly he hated when she brought up his sexual escapades, it reminded him of how much he didn’t deserve her. Jo was special. He was in love with her. He’d even confessed it to Cristina months ago. But he was screwed up. He didn’t want her to end up like every other girl he’d ever been with—all messed up because they got involved with him. So he kept his mouth shut, hoping the feeling would go away. 

That all flew out the window when Jo moved into the house, her bedroom right next to his. Her presence and importance in his life was that much more tangible knowing that all that separated them was a wall. That knowledge led to him escorting a new girl up to his room every other week in hopes of distracting himself from the overwhelming desire to knock on her door.

Alex looked over at her and noticed she seemed to be deep in thought, “Earth to Jo. You okay there? You seem a little weird.”

“Huh,” Jo turned her head in his direction. “Yeah I’m fine. Just thinking about what I want for dinner tonight. I was thinking of ordering from that taco place down the street from the house. Do you want some?”

“I’d love some, but we can’t order tonight. It’s Mer’s 35th birthday and we’re having the party at the house remember? She thinks she’s just coming over to drink tequila with me and Cristina, but Shepherd planned the whole fiasco. He’s over there setting up and I was told to buy some stuff to make the house look a little nicer.”

“Crap that’s tonight?” Jo asked. “I don’t really have to go to that right? I mean—I don’t know how I feel about partying with my bosses.”

“Of course you have to go,” Alex furrowed his brows. “Do you know how weird it’s gonna look if you’re not there? You live there, they can’t kick you out of your own house. You’re going and you’re going to get drunk and sing karaoke and dance on the table in your underwear.”

“No way,” she protested. “I do not plan on getting drunk off my ass at a party with my bosses.”

“Why not?” Alex questioned. “We’re all gonna be drunk off our asses. No one will even remember. Besides, you get drunk off your ass with me all the time. And half the time Cristina is there to witness it.”

“That’s different,” Jo defended. “You are my best friend and I live with you. It’d be weird if you never saw me drunk off my ass. Well that, and I respect my other bosses. And Yang... well... Yang doesn’t scare me as much as Grey does. Plus half the time she’s not even home. More often than not she’s in the woods with the Chief doing it in his trailer.”

Alex snickered, “True. But did you just say you’re more scared of Meredith than Cristina?”

“You know we call her Medusa right?”

“Yeah it’s a good one,” Alex laughed. “You know they used to call me Evil Spawn.”

“Hate to break it to you, but they still do.”

“Shut up. At least I’m getting some on a relatively normal basis,” Alex glared at her playfully. “When was the last time you got laid? You’re super uptight.”

“I am not uptight!” she exclaimed. “And it has not been that long since I got laid. The last time I had sex was... shit.”

“What?”

“I can’t remember the last time I got laid. It’s been that long.”

Alex snorted, “Wow. Well, like I said, if you get really desperate... and I mean really desperate... I’m right next door if you ever need anything.”

“Go to hell,” Jo stuck her tongue out at Alex like a child. He laughed and told her to hurry up and go find what she wanted to buy for the house before he changed his mind. 

The rest of their Target trip was uneventful and they made their way back to the house to finish whatever Shepherd was planning. By the time 8pm rolled around, all the decorations were in place, the guests were in their hiding places, and the liquor was ready for consumption. When Meredith finally walked in, they all yelled surprise and the party got started. 

It was quite the party, too. It reminded Alex of the party that Izzie threw in this very house during their intern year. People underestimated doctors’ abilities to party and consume alcohol. And with Meredith being the guest of honor, there was no shortage of the hard stuff. He had to say, Derek really outdid himself with this party. He planned something that screamed crazy, dysfunctional Meredith Grey and it was quite refreshing. So refreshing, that even Jo decided to loosen up and have a few drinks, since she saw her superiors let loose. 

A few beers and way too many tequila shots in, they were both pretty wasted, as was the majority of the party.  People slowly began to leave and Alex took that as his cue to go upstairs.

Leaving the hosting duties to Cristina, Alex trudged up the stairs with a heavily inebriated Jo trailing behind him, giggling about something. They reached the top of the stairs and were about to go their separate ways when something shifted. It could’ve been the alcohol or just the pent up desire bubbling up under the surface, but one minute he was standing at the top of the steps and the next he was kissing Jo and pushing her into her bedroom.

*****

Jo woke up with a pounding headache. She hadn’t even opened her eyes yet, but she could tell she was going to have one hell of a hangover. She attempted to open her eyes only to close them again due to the stark brightness. She wasn’t exactly sure what time it was, but it was definitely late morning. As Jo laid there, she realized something. She wasn’t alone. There was an arm wrapped around her midsection. 

Alarm bells started going off in her head as she racked her brain for any memory of what happened last night. Just as she was going to open her eyes again to see who she had ended up in bed with, she heard an unmistakable groan. She knew that groan. She knew those arms. 

The hand that had been on her waist brushed her breast before freezing, “What the hell?” 

She took a deep breath and spoke, “Don’t freak out.”

The hand on her breast pulled back instantly, as if it had been burned. The man attached to it sat up quickly, “Oh God, please don’t tell me we had sex.” 

Jo lifted the blankets to look at her naked body that was now littered with love marks. She cringed, “We had sex.”

Jo looked up and finally locked eyes with none other than Alex Karev. He looked wrecked and Jo was sure that she probably did, too. They stared at each other with a mixture of disbelief and horror on their faces. 

“Ah shit,” Alex rubbed a hand over his face. “Jo, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Jo shook her head. “It takes two to tango. Plus, I must’ve enjoyed it because you have a hickey on your neck.”

Alex placed his hand on the spot before finally turning to look at her, face turning up in a smirk, “So do you.”

They looked at each other, cheeks flushed before bursting out into laughter. “Ow, be quiet.” “No, you be quiet.”

“I can’t believe we had sex,” Jo remarked in disbelief. “And I don’t even remember most of it.”

“Me neither,” Alex admitted. They slipped into another fit of giggles, the leftover alcohol in their systems seemed to still be affecting them. By the time their mirth died down, the reality of what happened sunk in. It was ironic, just yesterday they had been talking about how they’d never sleep with each other. 

Jo moaned as she stretched to get out of bed. Alex furrowed his brows, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Jo replied as she brought the blankets up to cover her chest. “Just a little sore.”

“Oh, God. Don’t tell me I hurt you,” a concerned look crossed Alex’s face. 

Jo chuckled awkwardly, “No you didn’t hurt me. It’s... it’s a good sore.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well... um... I’m gonna—um... I’m gonna go get ready,” Alex stuttered.

“Hmm... yeah me too,” Jo bit her lip and nodded as Alex stood up and searched for his pants. For the first time, she actually took a moment to look at him, watching as she saw as the muscles in his back and arms contracted as he pulled his pants over his legs and ass. 

Almost as if he could sense her stares, Alex turned around, “What?”

“Nothing,” she cleared her throat. “It’s just... um... you have scratch marks on your back.”

He titled his head to look at his back and sure enough, found a few red scratch marks. He began to laugh again, “Oh wow. That’s just... Sorry, I’m just gonna leave.” 

Just as he was going to walk out the door, Alex stopped at the threshold and looked at Jo, “Um, Jo... You might want to wear a turtleneck today.” 

*****

It had been a week since Jo and Alex had woken up together after their drunken night. In that week, the memories of what happened had returned. Knowing and remembering that night was so much worse than having no memory of it. 

For Jo, it was as though her body would forever be imprinted with the reminder of that night. Too often that week, she had found herself daydreaming about that night. She could almost feel Alex pressed against her. She could almost hear the moans he let out as he made her feel like the most precious thing in the world. She could almost taste his lips and feel the ghost of them against her own. Now she understood. She understood why women always got hung up on Alex Karev, because he was incredible. And not just in bed. He was incredible in every way and she wanted more. 

For Alex, remembering that night was torture. Every nerve in his body cried out for Jo. The very little self-control he had left was threatening to fall apart. Before it was easier. He didn’t know what it was like to have her; to be with her. Now that he had, it was taking everything within him to not knock on her door night after night. The mere thought of another woman no longer excited him, he was ruined. Jo had completely ruined him for anyone else. He wanted her and not just her body. He wanted all of her. He wanted everything with her.  

Which is why, for the entire week, he’d been avoiding her. He made sure she wasn’t on his service. He was careful to ensure they were on opposite schedules so that he didn’t have to see her at home. Opposite schedules also meant that he’d have less of a chance of slipping up and doing something stupid like telling her he was in love with her. Any time they just so happened to be in the same room, he’d avoid making eye contact and walk the other way. 

By some unfortunate miracle, that morning, all three of the frat house residents were on the same schedule. It was a rare occurrence for all three of them to be leaving the house at the same time. As he walked into the kitchen, Alex was careful not to brush against Jo while trying to get to the cereal in the pantry. He kept his eyes fixed on the box of cereal and remained silent as he readied his bowl. Jo’s eyes flicked up at him before burying her face in the piece of toast she was eating and decided against bringing up what would be an extremely uncomfortable conversation.

What the two of them hadn’t counted on was Cristina’s overly observant eyes watching the scene unfold before her. 

“You too are acting weird. Hairball is always chatty in the morning and Evil Spawn, you always come up with a way to be a pain in Wilson’s ass before 7am,” Cristina took another bite into her apple before speaking. “Did you guys fight? Is that what this is? Does someone have hurt feelings?”

“Everything’s fine,” Jo answered.

“It’s none of your business Cristina,” Alex snapped.

She stared at them for a while longer when she let out a gasp of disbelief, “Oh my God. You two had sex! That’s why you’re acting so weird lately! Finally! We’ve all been waiting for it and you guys just won me some money.”

The two of them stared at her like deer in headlights. Neither said anything, causing Cristina to laugh hysterically, “Oh God. You guys haven’t talked about it. You’ve been avoiding each other. Now tell me, was it horrible? Did someone cry? Did you have trouble... you know? Ooh! Does Wilson have a secret penis?”

“What? No!” both Jo and Alex exclaimed.

That when Cristina, finally understanding what happened, gasped, “You guys liked it! You loved it and you want more.” 

Jo’s face was red and hot, “Yang, please stop.”

“You know, I was having a bad morning but I knew you’d make me feel better,” Cristina snickered. “Well, I’m going to work. Have fun carpooling together.”

“Dr. Yang! Wait!” Jo called out. “I’m ready. I’m coming with you!”

As they hopped in the car, Cristina eyed Jo, “You know, you should just tell him.”

“Tell him what?” 

“That you’re in love with him,” Cristina stated. “It’d be easier then whatever the hell you’re doing. Just get it all out there. No fear, no shame. And who knows, maybe you’ll be surprised and find out he feels the same way.”

“He does not feel the same way,” Jo sighed. 

Cristina, who knew for a fact he did, scrunched her face in confusion, “How do you know for sure?”

“Because I’m not his type,” Jo pointed out as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “He’s got a type. Tall, skinny, blonde, perky, bubbly. I am none of those things. I’m average height, I actually have some meat on my bones, brunette, and I’m sarcastic, jaded, and all kinds of complicated.”

Cristina rolled her eyes, “The only reason Alex chooses the same type of girl to hook up with is because he knows that no one with substance would be up for what he’s looking for. You have a personality. Use it.”

Jo stared at her incredulously, “Why are you being so nice to me?”

“I am a nice person,” Cristina glanced at her before putting her eyes back on the road. “And I don’t think I can live with the two of you pining over each other. Just be with him already. Then I won’t have to feel the sexual tension while I’m trying to eat breakfast or watch a movie.” 

*****

A few more weeks passed, and although they weren’t back to how they were before the incident, Jo and Alex had decided to put that night behind them and try to be in the same room together again.  After about a month, Alex finally felt comfortable enough around her not to jump her bones and decided to request her on his service. He had an interesting case coming in today and was sure that she wouldn’t want to miss it. 

Alex walked up to the residents’ lounge and popped his head in, “Wilson! Let’s go. You’re on my service today.” 

Jo looked up at him with a surprised expression on her face, “Really?”

“Yup,” Alex nodded. “Let’s go. We got a super cool case today.”

She smiled widely and turned around to the other residents, “So long suckers.”

Stephanie rolled her eyes, “Oh please. You’re just excited you get to hang out with Karev today.”

“I think it’s unfair that she gets on a cool case just because he’s into her,” Leah pursed her lips.

“He’s not into me,” Jo said, pulling the scrub shirt over her head. She grabbed her lab coat and walked out to the hall where Alex was waiting. “Hey! So, what do we got?”

“Take a look for yourself,” he handed her the tablet.

She scrolled through the chart and read the kid’s information, “No way! He’s got Hirschsprung’s disease? There are like less that 200,000 cases of that per year around the world.”

“I know,” Alex grinned. “When I saw it I got excited and thought, why not share the excitement with my favorite resident?”

“You really shouldn’t pick favorites you know. People might start to suspect something is going on.”

“Oh please,” Alex scoffed. “Everyone’s got a favorite resident. Ross is Yang’s, Edwards has been working with Bailey a lot, Warren is tight with Webber, and I basically had to fight Torres for you. So, choosing favorites is normal. It means we see potential in you for our speciality. Which, by the way, since when do you love ortho so much? I thought you were considering peds.”

Jo smiled, “Well, I haven’t really been on your service for the past month so I had to find somewhere to shine. Torres says my aggressive tendencies are just what you need in ortho. It’s quite the rush. But, I must say, you might just turn me back onto peds if you keep putting me on cool cases like this one.”

“Haha, okay.”

They did their rounds and went to prep four year old Oliver Maxwell for his Hirschsprung’s bowel resection. As they walked into the room Alex shook hands with the parents and gave the kid a fist bump, “Hey Ollie, how are you feeling?”

“Eh,” Ollie shrugged. “I’m weady to feel betta. You can help me feel betta Dr. Awex?”

“I sure can, kiddo,” Alex grinned. “Dr. Wilson and I are going to go into your belly and take out all the bad stuff and make you feel so much better.”

“Good,” Ollie smiled.

Alex looked up to Ollie’s parents, “Okay. So, we are going to perform Ollie’s bowel resection in about an hour and a half. I’m going to send in an intern and a couple nurses in thirty minutes to make sure everything is ready for him to go up to the OR. We’re very hopeful that once the bowel resection is complete, he will no longer have any issues. However, since Hirschsprung’s is so rare, I would personally like to do a follow up every 3 months for the next year to see how he’s doing.” 

Mrs. Maxwell nodded, “Alright. And the surgery is a simple one right?”

“Yes, a bowel resection is a very routine procedure that we do everyday. However since he’s got Hirschsprung’s, the technique we use will be altered in order to fit his condition. But, if all goes well, he should be just fine.” Jo assured.

 “I’m sorry,” the woman apologized. “I’m just worried. You know how it is. To have your kid in the hospital. Do either of you have children?”

Alex shook his head, “No, neither of us have kids. But I do have a niece and nephew and a few months ago I had to give my niece, Zola, some stitches on her forehead. Her mom, who’s also a surgeon, was so worried and it wasn’t even anything serious. There are no rules when it comes to sick, hurt kids. If a surgeon is worried about their kid’s cut, it is completely normal for you to worry about your kid’s surgery.”

Jo smiled proudly. Alex had a long history of being great with kids, but not so much with the parents. It made her happy to see that he had developed himself and grown in the time she had been off his service. As they said goodbye to the parents, she gave him a cheeky look.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing.”

“Whatever... go eat a snack, take a power nap, use the bathroom and meet me in OR 2 in an hour,” he instructed.

Their surgery went extremely well. Ollie did fantastic in surgery and would make a wonderful recovery. They updated the parents and continued on with the rest of their cases. 

“Nothing like a bowel resection on a Hirschsprung’s kid to start out your day,” Jo sighed.

“Ahh you see, there it is,” Alex motioned at her. “There’s that peds glow. I may be able to steal you back from Torres after all.” 

“Shut up,” Jo shoved him playfully. “What’s next?”

 *****

Another two weeks passed and Jo and Alex were back to normal, teasing each other, hanging out, and working together. It was nice being on peds again, she got to spend time with cute little kids, watch and assist on awesome surgeries, and hang out with her best friend. Today, they had done 2 appendectomies, 1 bowel resection, removed a neuroblastoma, and assisted on a peds trauma that came in. She hadn’t been feeling all that well today, and it could be the fact that she was around sick, germ-infested children all day. Her head was hurting and it was progressively getting worse as the day went on. To top it all off, her stomach had started hurting about an hour ago, but she pushed through the last couple hours of her shift.

As she got in the car later that evening, Jo was sure she was going to throw up. She must’ve looked green, because Alex looked at her from his spot in the driver’s seat, “Dude are you okay?”

“I think I’m gonna hurl,” she pressed a hand up to her mouth. 

Alex searched around the back seat and produced a trash bag and handed it to her, “Here. If you’re gonna vomit, aim for the bag.”

She glared at him, “Why do you even have trash bags in your car?”

“I like to be prepared,” he replied. “And I don’t like a messy car.”

Jo closed her eyes and tried to take deep breaths to distract her from the moving vehicle, in hopes of making it home. She must’ve dozed off, because the next thing she remembered is being lifted out of the car, and into the house. She opened her eyes and saw Alex cradling her closely, “Put me down.”

“Huh?”

“Put me down,” she mumbled. “You know I can walk right?” 

“I don’t mind,” one side of Alex’s mouth turned up in a small, sweet half smile. “Just relax.”

Jo closed her eyes again, she could tell that this time, she would fall asleep for real. Something about those arms made her feel so safe and warm. It was the closest they had been since the night they spent together and she couldn’t help but lean into him. Eventually, he reached top of the stairs and laid her down in her bed, pulling the covers up around her. Thinking she was asleep, he leant down and pressed a small kiss on her forehead, “Goodnight Jo. I hope you feel better.”

“Alex,” she called out. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

*****

The next morning Alex was awoken by the sound of his bedroom door being slammed open. Startling out of sleep he looked to see who was at the door, “Jesus! Cristina. What the hell? It’s early.”

“Sorry Evil Spawn,” Cristina walked in and made her way into the bathroom. “But Hairball is all over my bathroom puking her guts out and I need to get to work. I’ve got a very important surgery scheduled and I need to prepare.”

“How long has she been throwing up?” Alex asked.

“I don’t know. The past hour, maybe?” she shrugged. “Did you guys drink too much last night?”

“No,” he shook his head. “She was feeling sick at work yesterday and almost threw up in my car on our way home. By the time we got here, she had fallen asleep and I had to carry her up to bed.”

“Well she’s definitely sick,” Cristina surmised. “Don’t know what it is, but I do know that I cannot catch whatever she has because I have very important patients that need me to save their lives.”

“I’ve got the day off. I’m gonna go check on her,” he got out of the bed and put on a pair of sweatpants before walking through the hallway to the bathroom. He stopped outside the door and knocked, “Jo you okay?”

She groaned, “No.”

Alex pushed the door open and found Jo sitting on the floor with her head against the wall, “You know I’ve got to say... this isn’t your best look.”

She glared at him, “Shut up. I feel like crap.”

“You look like crap,” he crouched down to the ground and wrapped an arm around her. “Hey. Look at me. You want me to tell Hunt that you’re not going to work today?”

She nodded, “Yes please.”

“Okay. I’m going to call him right now.”

She hummed in response and crawled over to the bathroom cabinet where she kept the medicine. As she was searching through the cabinet, her eyes fell on a box of tampons. In that instant, Jo could’ve sworn that her heart stopped. She picked it up and traced her brain, trying to remember the last time she had used one. It had been at least two months. How the hell did she not notice? 

“Hey I called Hunt,” Alex came in, startling her. “You okay? Oh... do you need me to go buy you some more tampons?” 

Jo shook her head, “No. No... I don’t need them.”

Alex looked at her strangely, “Okay...”

She took a steadying breath, “I’m gonna say something, but you have to promise me you’ll stay calm.”

Alex sat down on the floor next to her and cradled her face in his hands, “Jo, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong.” 

She looked at him nervously, “Don’t freak out, but I think I’m pregnant. I haven’t had a period since... before we...”

Jo wished someone would’ve been there to see the exchange, because the look that crossed Alex’s face was one that she would’ve wanted on film. He was doing his best not to freak out, but his eyes were wide as saucers and his jaw dropped. He took a deep breath and closed his mouth before nodding at her, “Okay... okay. That’s fine. It’s gonna be alright. We’ll go get the test right now. How about you get in the shower and I’ll go to the store.” 

“Okay,” Jo agreed. 

The drive to the drugstore was a heavy one. Alex was doing his best to keep it together, he couldn’t freak out. Not when Jo might be pregnant with his baby after one drunken night together. When he finally made it into the parking lot, he stopped and banged his head on the steering wheel. 

He’d done it again. This is exactly why Alex didn’t want to pursue things with Jo, because every girl he got involved with came out of it worse than before. He thought they’d be okay. He thought that they could get past this and he’d eventually long for her a little less every day that passed. But instead, he might’ve just knocked up his best friend. He might’ve just screwed up the life of the woman he was desperately in love with. 

He put her in an impossible position. She could choose to have an abortion, a choice that was difficult to make and go through with for any woman. Not to mention such a decision would put a strain on their friendship because they would always think about what could’ve been. There was adoption, but Alex didn’t think he’d be able to live knowing he had a kid out there and Jo had such horrible experiences in the foster care system that she would never be able to do that to her own kid. 

That meant the other option was keeping the baby. How would that work? Would they be together? Would they co-parent? Would that be the best option for either of them? Jo was only a second year resident. Having a baby right now could affect her career. It could affect any decisions she made in the future about her life. 

Taking a deep breath, Alex finally got out of the car and walked into the store, buying five pregnancy tests. Each one was a different brand, in hopes of getting the most accurate results. He took the boxes up to the register and locked eyes with a woman who seemed to be in her mid-60’s in line, in front of him. She looked down at his basket and smiled, “I don’t know what answer you’re hoping for, but good luck.” 

He huffed a laugh, “Thanks.”

Back home, Jo was having a mini-meltdown. Jo was almost positive she was pregnant. She had all the same symptoms as the last time. That’s right. This wasn’t Jo’s first pregnancy. While Jo had been married to Paul, she got pregnant. Days after discovering her pregnancy, he beat her half to death. She knew then, that she could not have that baby. She couldn’t allow her child to come into a home full of abuse. She couldn’t allow for her child to be scared of their father. She couldn’t allow for herself to be tied to Paul forever. Because she knew that’s what would happen. If she ever tried to leave, if she ever tried to divorce him, they would fight over the kid. And there was no way she could fight his lawyers for custody. Her child would lose in every scenario. 

So, she made the hardest decision she’d ever had to make in her life. Jo had an abortion and sobbed throughout the experience. She wasn’t ashamed of it. She didn’t regret it. But she promised herself that she’d never have to go through it again. She’d be more careful. She’d have a kid when she was ready, with a man who loved her and treated her with nothing but respect. She couldn’t go through an abortion again. The last time almost broke her, but it was the catalyst she’d needed to get herself out of that situation.

Jo knew she would keep this baby. There was no question that she’d be this baby’s mom. Everything else was up in the air. How would she fit a baby into her life? She was a second year surgical resident with a crazy schedule. She wanted to be a good mom, a present mom. But that would require her taking a step back in her career. Where would she and the baby live? Could they stay in Alex’s house? Would Alex even want to be in the baby’s life? Would he kick her out? Or would he co-parent with her? Did he want to be tied to her for the rest of his life? 

All of those questions and fears had to be put on pause when she heard the front door open. From her spot on the couch, she saw Alex enter with a plastic bag in his hand. Holding it up, he gave her a small smile, “I bought five... all different brands and stuff.”

Jo reached out for the bag and took it with her into the bathroom. Despite this situation being almost as complicated as the last time she peed over a stick, the one emotion she realized wasn’t present was fear. Last time she had been terrified. This time she was nervous, sure, but she wasn’t afraid. It was Alex, and whether he decided to be this baby’s dad or not, he’d never hurt her over this. 

She washed her hands and stepped out of the bathroom, setting a timer on her phone, “I took them all. Boxes said to wait about three minutes.” 

Those three minutes were some of the longest minutes of her life. Her and Alex stared at each other silently, waiting for the timer to go off. When it finally did, Jo felt a wave of nausea come over her. She looked over at Alex who grabbed her hand and squeezed it, leading her back to the bathroom for the moment of truth. 

Unsurprisingly, every single test came out positive. Jo couldn’t tell if it was the stress or the pregnancy itself, but soon, she was crouched above the toilet vomiting again. She felt a hand on her back rubbing circles as another one pulled her hair back. When she was finished, she rinsed her mouth and brushed her teeth before flopping onto the floor. She groaned, “Alex I’m fine. Just go. You don’t have to do this. I can do this on my own. Take the out. I’m giving you an out, take it. You can be fun Uncle Alex, no responsibilities.” 

“No,” Alex said firmly, bringing her close. “I’m not taking the out Jo. I’m not leaving you alone in this. Above everything, you are my best friend and we’re gonna have a baby together. So, I’m gonna be here and I’m gonna be a great dad and you’re gonna be a great mom and we’re going to do this together.” 

She rested her head on his shoulder, “Are you sure? You live your life a certain way and I don’t want to get in the way of that. A kid is really gonna put a damper on your sex life. And I know you didn’t mean for us to even have sex anyway. I’m not exactly your type and I don’t know if I could handle knowing that you didn’t want me for the rest of my life.”

Alex looked at Jo as if she’d grown three heads, “Are you kidding? Jo, what we did, wasn’t an accident. We both wanted it. We’ve wanted it for so long, but we were too scared and needed some liquid courage. Ever since that night, I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. I can’t even talk to a chick without every cell in my body protesting because it’s not you. Because it’s always been you, Jo. I love you. So, I’m staying right where I am, because I’m happy right here with you.”

Her face broke out into the brightest smile he’d ever seen. She leaned in and kissed him, “I love you too. I have for a long time, now.” 

“Holy shit,” Alex exclaimed. “We’re having a baby.”

“Oh my God. Yeah. We’re having a baby,” Jo laughed. “Me and you. Together. Having a baby.”

They both cackled loudly until the point of tears. It was hilarious to think that two months ago, they would’ve never even dreamed of a moment like this. As their laughter died down, Alex gasped, “Crap.”

“What?”

“We’ve gotta tell people,” he shared. “Not right now, but eventually we gotta tell people.”

“Shit,” Jo responded. “Oh God! We’ve got to tell Yang. She’s never going to let us live it down.”

Alex’s eyes widened, “Dammit. I forgot about Cristina. Be prepared to get custom made onesies that say Evil Spawn’s Spawn on them.” 

“Our kid is going to be so spoiled,” Jo grinned. “They’re going to have everything we didn’t as kids.”

He placed his hand on her still flat belly, “Yeah they are.”

[idontknowwhatyoumean]

lbotw countdown day 1

@lbotw-countdown-event

I’m very late but oh well. Thanks for organising this event!

22 August 2020

Prompt: Bromance

Summary: Alec and Lily in a Coffee Shop!AU

—

Quote that this prompt reminded me of:

“Sleep, Lily,” Alec said, gently. “I’ll watch the doors.”

—

It was early in the morning and already the coffee shop was filling with rather quickly with disgruntled businessmen and bleary-eyed college students all waiting in line for their daily shot of caffeine. It was Alec and Lily’s shift, as it was most early mornings and late evenings, and Lily manned the cash register as Alec brewed the drinks.

They were an efficient team, and morning rushes weren’t too much of a problem for them; Lily was a had been working at the cafe for a rather long time and Alec was particularly good with remembering the drinks and making them quickly and accurately. They had the same shifts for a while now, after they had managed to get past the initial awkwardness and frostiness that came with not understanding the other’s particular brand of humour and contrary personalities. Lily was playful and cheeky, but she could also be serious and earnest, and sometimes she was both; Alec hadn’t been able to figure out when she was what for the longest and that threw him for a loop. Alec, on the other hand, had amused Lily to no end with his socially awkward nature the first time they met and it was only after witnessing his blunt tendencies that she began to respect him as well.

And now, well, now they were pretty good friends. Really good friends, if Alec was being honest with himself.

“Hey, Alec!” She called out, and Alec could already hear the mischief in her voice. “One order of pure black with a dollop of annoying blond and on the side!”

Translation: Jace and Clary were here. And probably Izzy and Simon too. Alec suppressed a groan as he completed the last few of his orders and peeked round the counter to see the line. Unfortunately, the early morning horde had thinned out and there were only one or two regulars in the shop. He could spot his siblings crowding up the front of the counter, no one else behind them. Surprisingly, he couldn’t see Simon, his sister’s boyfriend.

After confirming his fears, he dipped back behind the row of large coffee machines, hurrying to escape his siblings. He loved them, truly, and was grateful for their presence in his life. Except during his work shifts. Somehow, his and Izzy’s constant presence and teasing of Jace during his work shifts at the art supply store next to Garroway Books during Alec’s Junior year of high school had backfired on him. Upon Jace’s quitting of his part time job at the art supplies store (thanks in part to him and Clary starting to date and the large number of new workers and customers Jace had managed to attract during his tenure as art supplies salesperson) and Alec’s employment at the coffee shop to pay his share of the bills, Alec and Izzy’s tradition had evolved into Jace and Izzy’s tradition of disrupting another sibling at his place of work.

The payback was not fun.

“Hey Alec!” Jace hooted at him from beyond the counter. “Oh, come on. Izzy, can you believe this guy?”

Alec tuned out his sister’s response as hands even moved quicker than normal to brew Clary’s favourite daily beverage. He could already feel the tips of his ears flushing red and cursed how the empty the coffee shop was at the moment. His siblings, no matter how cheeky and disruptive they could be, normally toned down their teasing and loudness when there were more people. Alec would gladly take on twelve more elaborate six word coffee orders if it meant not dealing with the teasing.

“You’re so dramatic,” Lily laughed at him as she came up to him, eyeing the takeaway cup of coffee in his hands. “And here I thought that was Magnus’ thing.”

Alec wordlessly passed her the cup, only to be dragged by her out to the front.

“Here you go,” Lily smirked down at Clary, who looked a little embarrassed at Jace and Izzy’s antics.

She grinned up at both her and Alec. “Ahhh coffee, my love. Thanks, guys.” She then leaned forward towards Alec in an exaggerated whisper, “I’m sorry about these guys. They overheard Simon apologising about not being able to meet for coffee and decided it was only their duty to accompany me instead.”

“And where is Simon?”

“Oh, he has an early meeting with his band.”

“And how nice of you to join us, big brother,” Izzy said, her arm propped up on the counter and giving Alec the most innocent gaze that Alec definitely didn’t believe.

“Or rather, how nice of Lily to bring you out here,” Jace cut in. “Is your brain getting stale from all the caffein you’ve been inhaling all day?”

Alec rolled his eyes at them. “Why are you the way that you are?”

“Payback, brother mine,” Jace grinned at him and Izzy laughed.

“Just wait til you get a job, Iz,” Alec muttered.

“Oh thanks for the concern, but don’t worry, I’ll make sure to get some part time work at an office or somewhere. You might let your guard down in an obscure art supply store, Alec, but I know you wouldn’t do anything if I worked somewhere else. Jace was just unlucky.”

Alec didn’t really have anything to say to that. “Okay, okay, now that you’ve had your share of fun embarrassing me at my place of work, why don’t you go run off now — ”

“No way, don’t make them go! This is too much fun!” Maia, one of the few regulars still in the coffee shop, chimed in. She lifted her large cup to her lips to hide her smile at Alec’s subsequent glare.

“Don’t you guys have school or something?” Alec pleaded, casting a glance at Clary.

“Yes, yes we do,” she said, hooking an arm around Jace’s and leading them out the store. “Come on guys, we can come see him again next week or something.”

—

“Thank the angel,” Alec muttered as he retreated sulkily back behind the coffee machines. Lily followed him and Alec turned an eye on her. “And I couldn’t help but notice you didn’t help much either.”

“Of course,” she said breezily. “Why would I turn down such prime entertainment for no good reason? Oh don’t look at me with those disappointed blue eyes.”

Alec turned away from her just as the front door opened with a ding and Lily left to tend to the order. From what he could hear of her sultry “Well, hello”, he could deduce that the customer was hot. From her next “well of course, we can help you with that, you delicious peanut-butter-and-Jem sandwich”, Alec knew who it was and what his order would be.

Alec took several steps towards the cash register and was right. Jem Carstairs was standing at the counter, waiting patiently for Lily to package up two boxes. Will Herondale (Jem’s best friend? boyfriend? Alec was kind of unclear) was waiting behind him.

“Hello, Alec,” Jem greeted politely. “How have you been? How’s Magnus?”

Alec had heard of Jem and Will, and their friend (girlfriend? Alec was also unclear) Tessa, though he didn’t know any of them them well. They had been in the year above him at school, a close, exclusive group, and Alec wasn’t exactly a social butterfly. And there was also the fact that Alec and Izzy had almost gotten into a fight with Will back at the start of middle school when Jace had been adopted by the Lightwoods instead of moving in with his aunt and uncle and cousin Will. It had been complicated back then.

“Hi, Jem, Will,” Alec greeted back. “I’ve been fine. And Magnus is as magnificent as ever.”

Jem and Will traded secret grins at that, accompanied by a teasing (or at least, Alec hoped it was teasing) eye roll from Will who commented, “Oh, I’m sure he would love to hear that.”

“Ah, here you go with your snacks, Brother Snackariah.” Lily had packaged the two boxes into a bag and was holding it out for Jem. He took it was a smile, thanked her and left the the cafe.

“Ah yes the diamond Jem Come-and-stare never fails to disappointed,” Lily sighed.

“He’s nice,” Alec agreed mildly.

“Oh, I forgot,” Lily complained. “You’re with Monogamous Bane. Boring.”

Alec laughed at her expression. It had been things like this — Lily’s deadpan, serious teasing — that had been difficult for Alec to tell whether she meant it as an insult or a joke that had initially roused so much defensiveness from him. Not to mention that he had met her as a friend of Magnus’ even before they started working together and she and her group of friends had all teased Alec the same way, which Alec had definitely not appreciated.

“Oh,” Lily blinked up at the cafe clock. “It’s almost ten. Well, you have to get going to class. Unless… you want to spend the rest of the day with the amazing me?”

Alec shook his head and suppressed a grin (Lily shouldn’t be encouraged). “See you later, Lily.”

“Oh, boring.”

—

It was raining lightly when Alec came in for his evening shift. He didn’t have an umbrella with him and so had to brave the storm with only his backpack and was incredibly thankful that he hadn’t needed his laptop that day.

Lily gave him and his damp clothes a raised eyebrow as she drawled out a greeting over the counter. “Had a little date with the rain, Lightwood? Tsk tsk, I know a little someone who would be incredibly jealous someone else got to tousle those ‘silky smooth’ locks of yours.” She gestured to the 

“Hello to you too, Lily,” Alec said. “Do we have any spare towels?”

“In the back.”

Alec stepped into the backroom, dumping his bag by the door and grabbing one of the towels to dry off. By the end, his hair was fluffed up by the towel, sticking up and in a general mess. Alec attempted to flatten it down to its usual state, to no avail, and he quietly resigned himself to his fate, reaching over to take his staff apron and putting it on.

When he came out the backroom, he was greeted by Lily’s peals of laughter.

“Oh, Alec,” she grinned. “Your hair.”

“Yes, yes, I get it,” Alec grumbled, taking refuge at his usual spot. “You don’t have to rub it in.”

She shook her head. “Wow, aren’t you lucky your siblings aren’t here right now.”

That thought was just dreadful and he groaned.

“Don’t worry, they aren’t,” she told him. “And get moving. You’re just in time for an order of sugar-free vanilla latte with two shots of expresso.”

And Alec was whisked into the normal bustle of the shop’s evening fans. The coffee shop didn’t serve any heavy food or drinks, only a few cakes and pies, so it wasn’t as popular at that time of day when most people were looking to get dinner. Unless your dinner was cake.

“Don’t look now, Alec,” Lily called. “But there’s a special someone here to see you.”

Alec knew that tone.

He took the few steps that separated him from Lily’s place at the cashier and his heart gave an absolutely embarrassing start at the sight of bright eyes and a loving smile. Unbidden, his own lips lifted into what he was sure was a sappy smile as well.

“Well, Magnus,” Lily grinned. “What would you like to order?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Magnus said flippantly. “Maybe a mocha. Maybe a surprise. Oh, but definitely that hottie standing next to you.” And he dropped Alec is glittery wink.

Alec could definitely feel his face heating up a little — even after two years, he wasn’t quite used to Magnus’ flirtations — and the heat worsened at the sound of Lily’s reply of “oh, we can definitely do that.”

“Lily!” Alec noticed, for the first time, the small group of people standing behind Magnus. Raphael Santiago, Lily’s closest friend, somehow managed to look appalled whilst sporting a grumpy scowl. “We do not encourage Bane’s disasters.”

“Oh, then I suppose we can’t help you, Magnus,” Lily told him serenely. “I suppose you’ll have to find your own way to wooing Alec here.”

“Lily,” Alec chided, exasperated.

“Yeah, let’s move on so the rest of us can get an order,” Ragnor complained from his spot at the back of the group, next to Catarina who just smiled indulgently. 

“Well, why don’t you surprise me with a drink, Alec?” Magnus smiled at him.

“Leave it to me.”

Truth be told, Magnus was a total coffee snob. He could be very picky about his coffee and  usual only drank from the most artisanal of coffee places. He mostly only stepped foot in a regular coffee shop when he was either meeting friends, or wanted to see Alec.

“There’s that sappy smile of yours,” Lily commented, sidling up to him, a sticky note in her hand. “Here are the rest of the orders. I’ll handle Raphael’s.”

Raphael was kind of difficult to please. Alec knew, more or less, how to deal with him in person, but his coffee order was something he didn’t have much confidence in. Ragnor and Catarina, on the other hand, had extremely simple order (plain and strong tea and coffee respectively).

They worked silently together, experienced hands moving quickly through the motions, and Alec felt happy.

[sueboohscorner]

#Bull - Season 5 Episode 7 "The Head of The Goat" - Review and Breakdown

The Review of Bull Season 5 Episode 7 - The Head of The Goat

Hello and Welcome Back, Bull Fans and Long-time viewers of my content; I hope you are well and healthy this week. As I have re-watched the latest episode that I base this review upon. I wanted to come into my review and write my thoughts on the episode and create a discussion about the show’s seventh installment at large. This review is going to cover Episode 7 of Season 5 of Bull. Season 5 Episode 7 of Bull gave more development in Benny, Bull, and Izzy's character arc. And we finally get some more information about Issy and what she has been doing in the past since we have met her again in Season 4.

 In this review, I will be tackling the character and relationship development that is happening in this episode. Towards the end of the review, I will give my final thoughts of the episode, and I think it could happen in the next couple of Bull episodes. As always, let me know in the comment section below. Or on Social Media @tvfanaticau (#ad) of all platforms. Hey Bull writers, can we have more scenes of Bull and Issy not in bed together? Because I feel like I have to start a drinking game and take a shot of when they are in bed together. (P.S. I don’t condone binge drinking alcohol just wanted to make this point.)

But anyway, enough about my drinking game for Bull and Issy, let’s dive into the seventh’s installment of Season 5 of Bull. “The Head of The Goat.” 

Episode 7 - Plot Overview

"Bull and Benny mount a difficult federal trial defense for a young mother accused of aiding and abetting her extremist husband in an act of domestic terrorism. When the controversial case makes news, Benny’s commitment to TAC complicates his burgeoning political career."  -- Show Junkies. 2021

Character Development of Episode 7 - “The Head of The Goat”

This week was a chance for the Bull writers to give meaning and context to the Benny running for the DA’s office and the relationship between Bull and Issy. And the relationship between Benny and Bull.

In the first two sections of my review, we will be looking at the character + the relationship development for this episode. What I think can happen in the next couple of episodes for Bull and The TAC Team in the future. 

1. Benny

As we move closer to Benny running for DA’s office, we can see that Benny is becoming more confident in his approach. In the courtroom. And for what he believes, everyone shows get a day in court. And so when his friend and his sister come to see him in his office. We get to see that confidence that we know and love from Benny. And with that ending scene for the episode, we get to see that all of Benny’s hard work has paid off. So I hope that in the next couple of Bull episodes, we get to see more of this storyline for the character arc as I am really enjoying this arc for Benny. 

2. Issy

As YM was brought on as a series regular for the show, I wondered what the Bull writers were going to be doing with this arc for Issy as we have to see her go through several things over the past with Bull and Her Brother. As so, I like this more relaxed version of Issy.

With Baby Bull's addition to the mix, I think that there is has been a chance to reconnect with her family. Because in the earlier seasons of the show, we see Issy is distant from her Brother and maybe other family members. Due to the trauma of her divorce and the miscarriage that she suffered.

But I hope we get to see more of the current version of Issy and that we have to see her becoming her own person again after having baby bull.  

3. Bull

As we have discussed, we have seen some reconnection as a family for the Bull and Colon Family. In Issy’s section. But I want to talk about how Bull feels about the changes in his company, what the writers and MW will achieve on the show.

Now I believe Bull is still was reluctant for Benny to take the job in the beginning. I think by the end of this week’s episode, we can see that Bull has seen that Benny is ready to take the next step forward in his career. Bull needs to step back and let Benny complete the task at the head. I hope for Bull in the next couple of episodes, and we get to see that change for Bull and Benny. 

The Relationship Development of Episode 7 - “The Head of The Goat “

As I have discussed the key character development in Season 5, Episode 7, let’s dive into more of the other side of the show, the relationships in Bull.

1. Bull and Issy

Season 5 for Bull and Issy has been a relaxed ride for this relationship in terms of the reconnecting and the communication they have. But we have not seen some of that witty banter that I know them for on the show. And in this episode, we get to see that again as we move through the show's season. I hope that the Bull writers will give the audience or fans of these relationships some more scenes outside of the bedroom. But I love this couple together, so I will take what scenes that they have together gladly. 

2. Bull and Benny

I know some people are in Benny's camp leaving the show; that is not the case at the moment. These two are, I think are on the same path for the promotion that Benny so deserves. But I still think that Bull will be more reserved still as if he is about to lose his friend to an important job. Again, I hope writers will pull it off as I have been liking the storyline surrounding Benny and Bull and the TAC Team. 

3. Benny and Issy

From Season 1, Episode 1 of the show, we have known that Benny’s sister married his best friend in Bull, and I think they were on the outs with each other as brother and sister, now fast forward a couple of seasons and a niece to the picture. I think that they have become more of a brother and sister again. When this episode came out, I loved the development of the relationship that they are going to work together to help Benny’s campaign. I love that relationship and interactions, so I hope that Bull writers and showrunners give us more future episodes. 

4. Bull and The Tac Team

During My Review last week, I look at the Bull and The TAC Team’s relationship, and from what I can gather that from this week’s episode, we got little to no development on the team; for instance, it was more focused on Benny, Bull, and Issy. But I expect that in the next couple of the coming episodes, I think we are going to explore this side of the relationship that Bull has with his employees. 

The Defense Strategy of Episode 7, “The Head of The Goat”

As we have a look at the relationships explored in this episode. I think we will see more in the future with some other established relationships on the show soon. I would look at the defense strategy used to move the case forward and get the trial's intended outcome. 

Defense Strategy.

This week’s defense strategy was not as laid out for the audience as normal, or I could not find it in my rewatching on the show’s episode. I think it’s an innocent to prove guilty strategy. Please let me know in the comment section below or on Social Media that I may have got it wrong and let me know the actual strategy. 

The Moments of The Head of The Goat

The Best Moments of The Episode.

The finest moment is shouting out to the pre and post-production team to produce the program to the crowd every moment it is on the broadcast. Freddy was the standout actor on the show’s seventh installment of the fifth season. In specific, the Benny that we know and love goes to town on a witness in question. Some of the minor moments that Bull and Issy shared through the episode, including the bedroom scene. A moment, Chuck being on the side in the courtroom and going to town on the witness. Also, I would like to mention that the new actor who played the wife stood her ground in the episode overall. 

Emotional Moments

I like to add the section in my reviews and show those tear-jerker moments on the show's sentimental side. During this week’s episode for me, anyhow, there were no emotional moments to talk about. Hopefully, we will get to see those moments in the coming episodes.

The Cringe moments

As the title suggests, there were moments on the show’s installment this week. Are the following, the awkward scene between Benny and his friend at the DA’s office. A cringe moment is the bedroom scene with Bull & Issy. I am seriously thinking of a drinking game for every time an identical scene comes on. 

As we leave those moments in the episode, lets' get into my final thoughts on the episode. I think to happen in the next couple of episodes concerning character & relationship arcs that have been established.

Overall Thoughts and Opinions on The Episode

Bull Season 5 Episode 7 was a perfect addition to the story canon of the show. For myself, it was one of the strongest episodes so far of the season. It provided an understanding of how some storylines are going to happen going forward in season 5.

In the next couple of episodes, we are to see further of these storylines shine through. I hope to see the development that they promised us in press interviews for season 5. Moving forward, I think we will see this story come to be a large one for Benny and Bull and Issy.

So going forward, I hope that the bull writers are going to give Danny a storyline that is true of her character. Has she been the one character that I have been waiting for that development since season 2 of the show? They have not developed the press release for Episode 8 of Season 5. We are to see things may wait on or taken by surprise.

I want to make a note to my viewers and The Bull production team that I have been enjoying this season more than previous seasons, as I feel like the show has returned to its roots in Season 1, that we have become to know and love about the show. And I believe that Season 5 of Bull has had more major character & relationship development so far. 

Overall Rating of the Episode: 7.5/10

Until Next Time, I will See you Later.

The Woman Who Writes TV Reviews.

[ferallymine]

Hiraeth part 5

A/n: I’m in college leave me and my inactivity and my lack of creativity alone ;-;

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The trial went smoothly, all things considered.

Lin’s former adopted parents gave up custody, bringing in their biological children in as witnesses to say Mardea had been an awful child to raise. Cross examination revealed that the kids were told to lie so that they wouldn’t get punished. The judge ruled that the children go into emergency custody with their grandparents while an investigation is conducted on Mr. and Mrs. Lin’s abusive patterns. Mrs. Midoriya got custody of Mardea, much to their delight.

The sunlight blinded Mardea’s eyes as the doors opened upon cessation of the trial. What blinded her further were the flashes of the cameras from the journalists.

“Gen! Tell us about your home life!”

“Miss Gen is the adoption system flawed?”

“Gen the Energy Hero has been thrown out of her home! What message does that send to her capabilities as a budding new hero?”

All Might and Aizawa stepped in front of Lin, ushering her, Mrs. Midoriya, and the boys through the crowd. Lin kept her head down and her hand in Todoroki’s.

“We’ll get through them. Don’t let them get to you.” His voice was soft but reached her ears amongst the crowd.

She just nodded in response, squeezing his hand three times.

All Might opened the door to the car, shuffling in the group, “Let’s get outta here!”

---

Todoroki, Lin, Midoriya, and Bakugo crowded in Lin’s room. All Might, Aizawa, and Mrs. Midoriya were talking in the main room about legal parameters now that Lin was in her custody.

The room itself was still largely undecorated. Lin didn’t have it in her to personalize it when school was close to starting. She’d have to pack it all up anyway. Izzy wanted to take her shopping to get new things, though, since her former parents had destroyed or sold the things left at the house.

“It’s funny, I’ve always thought you were like a sister to me, ahaha,” Izzy tried to break the awkward silence. It helped pierce the thoughts spiraling in her head.

Mardea gave a small smile as she leaned on Shoto. “I’ve always thought of you as a brother, too, Izzy.”

The couple was sat on her bed. Izuku was on the floor and Katsuki sat on the chair by her desk.

“You know…” Katsuki punched his fists together, leaning forward with an antagonizing grin, “If they ever try to come-“

“No violence, Katsuki.” Mardea curled up on her bed, “I don’t wish them harm.”

“But they-“

“No.” And that was the final word on it.

Katsuki rocked back in the chair, “So what do you wanna do now?”

Mardea thought a moment, sitting back up and slouching over, head in her hands. “Honestly, I just wanna go back to UA. I wanna be with the class and start applying more hero lessons.”

“It would get your mind off of this… ordeal.” Shoto placed his hand on her back, gently tracing invisible patterns.

“You can say ‘trauma’ because that’s what it is,” Mardea closed her eyes, attempting to prevent stray tears from flowing out. “That’s two families who didn’t want me.”

“We want you, Mardea,” Izuku sat up, trying his best to console her. He leaned forward, placing his arms and head on the edge of the bed, eyes looking up at hers. “We’re not gonna leave you, or kick you out. You’ve always been a sister to me and nothing’s gonna change that. We’ll be your family.”

Through muffled tears, Mardea mumbled out a thank you. Izuku knew it was genuine. Katsuki reached over to the desk and grabbed the tissue box. He handed it to her, which Mardea accepted gratefully.

“Do you remember anything about your birth family?” Shoto realized his curious words may have been inappropriate after he said them. Katsuki and Izuku’s eyes shot daggers through him.

She shook her head, “Not really. I was in foster care by the time I was able to remember things.”

“So you and YaoMomo were in different foster homes?”

“I suppose we were. I don’t remember seeing her, or being told I had any siblings while in the system.” Mardea reached back and grabbed a pillow to hold in her lap.

“You’ve never really told me about your time in the system.”

“Never felt a need to. Guess I wasn’t ready to talk about it before.”

“Was it bad?”

“No… it…” She thought a moment, eyes staring off into space, “It wasn’t bad- it was just a constant feeling of loneliness. I would make friends, then seemingly the next day they’d get adopted. I had to learn to be okay with people leaving. Guess I’m not anymore.”

“And that’s perfectly okay, Dea.” Katsuki crossed his arms, “You’re allowed to grieve losing others.”

“I know that… it just still sucks.”

“Feelings are complicated.” Izuku smiled, “It’s okay if you feel messy right now.”