#and then i had to pee so i went to the train station so that i could go to the city centre & hopefully find a public toilet

[humiliationstories124]

Submission from a follower, if you have a similar story, please feel free to share it with me

ok so i went to a halloween party hosted by a friend of mine in town. i took public transit as i live in the burbs but i dont have a car. i went as a wrestler, and when i was getting dressed i texted my friend the host to ask what underwear to wear under. he insisted i wear nothing under so i reluctantly agreed and showed up in just a blue singlet, shoes, and socks to this party.

it was a gay party and we had all been cooped up from all the covid precautions so it was verrry raunchy hahahah. i drank i think 6 beers. and i made out with a cowboy i didnt know and unfortunately for me got ROCK hard. because i was in the singlet, i couldnt exactly hide it and the lack of underwear made it even more prominent and visible. I got several looks from guys i didnt know as i went over to the corner to get soft. but my friend the host saw me and started talking with me and his eyes kept darting down and i could tell he was looking at my hard on. i should mention this friend and i are really tight. so when he casually reached down and traced the length of my shaft through the singlet with his finger i didnt mind, even though we were in his kitchen and other guys might have seen. i did kinda gasp in surprise and couldnt finish the sentence i was saying. he took that as an invitation to do it again, tracing from tip to balls, and i didnt have time to stop him cause i had drinks in my hands. but when he didn't stop after that i turned away blushing and laughed as I said quit it and he did.

well after a bit i was soft again and was ready to leave and actually kinda left in a hurry. now my journey home was to walk to the metro station, take the metro to the train station, wait for the night train, take the train about 20 minutes, then walk from the train station to my place. door to door about 90 minutes. i should have ubered looking back, but that was pricey cause it was halloween.

now as soon as i stepped outside, the cool air hit me and i had a realization: I needed to pee. i had had like 6 or 7 beers and they had gone straight through me. i considered going back to my friends place but i didnt want to miss the train and i was concerned if i peed some would get on my singlet and nothing would hide the spot since i had no underwear on.

so i walked to the metro station and waited for the metro and took that to the train station. as i was holding on to the standing bar in the metro i started squirming in my wrestling singlet and really considering whether i should go at the station. but i decided to hold it because those bathrooms are gross and the spot issue. If i peed at a urinal and some got on my singlet everyone would see and the train agent might have said something or worse, not let me on the train, which meant I'd have to wait til morning to get home. So i walked off the metro, passed the bathrooms and waited in the boarding area for the train. it was about 15 minutes before boarding, and i was kinda drunk so i was texting my friend to distract me but he was still winding down his party so he didnt respond much.

so when I finally got on the train i was pretty desperate. i got a couple of looks cause my face was contorted with the tension of needing to pee, so i embarrassingly sat toward the back by myself and tried not to grab myself since i was just in my singlet. I didn't want to look like i was touching myself and risk getting arrested or anything, so i was careful to keep my hands above my waist, relying only on my abs and thigh muscles to hold it in. I was squirming for sure, and I kept alternating between sitting and standing every few minutes, crossing my legs and shifting my thighs to help hold it in even as the pounding in my bladder got worse and worse. I was constantly looking out the window, willing the train to speed up, and looking down at my crotch to make sure no pee had escaped. 25 agonizing minutes later i finally got off the train, barely able to walk i had to pee so bad.

So i started walking to my building with all my muscles tensed on not pissing myself and trying not to grab my crotch.

I almost made it, but a little less than 3 blocks from my house, i suddenly heard a cop siren blare on the next street and heard the cop car as it drove away. the sound of the siren made me jump in surprise and...

It happened.

I started pissing in my singlet uncontrollably.

I tried to stop the stream but my muscles down there were so worn out so when i tapered the stream for a few seconds, I couldn't keep that up and the muscles forcibly relaxed and I went completely on myself. I was mortified and so mad at myself and being so close to home but not making it made me feel like a little bitch. I walked the remaining 3 blocks to my apartment in the wet singlet and had to wait around the corner, crouched in my soaked singlet for a minute while a group left so they wouldnt see me before hurrying in.

[fairyhaos]

seventeen and monopoly

how seventeen would play monopoly w/ each other

notes: im woozi. every single game i play, i always end up being woozi.

masterlist

seungcheol:

most competitive when it comes to monopoly. calls out jeonghan's cheating whenever possible, can never figure out how or when shua cheats, but is also totally down to cheating himself to win. has once engaged poor dokyeom in a bid for a train station that he raised way too high before suddenly pulling out, leaving dokyeom with -769 when he originally had 980. poor thing looked at his leader with the utmost betrayal in his eyes for over a week. also has totally owned almost the whole board before, calls it one of his biggest achievements in life

jeonghan:

the Biggest cheater (1). steals everyone's 50s when they're not looking. somehow manages to empty the bank of all the 500s, even though dino's been watching it like a hawk the entire time. has also definitely upturned the board during a game when it wasn't going the way he wanted, and has also definitely been nearly strangled by seungkwan because of it. asks if he can do aegyo or offers to do a dare instead of paying rent when he lands on someone's property, succeeds in making a deal 50% of the time

joshua:

the Biggest cheater (2). takes the little hotel buildings and puts them over properties that he doesn't even own, demands that people pay him anyway. has mastered the skill of looking all innocent while lying through his teeth and pinning the blame on a totally different member (jihoon or mingyu). gets extremely competitive when it looks like he has the slightest chance of winning and starts bending the rules like crazy, but if he's losing then he loses interest really quickly and gives up all his money and property to whoever looks like they're most likely to drop out any second

junhui:

makes up rules that sound really weird but also really plausible so the members don't know if they should trust him or not. has managed to convince mingyu that landing on the jail square when you roll means that you're in jail permanently unless you let the other players give you a dare to do. is somehow also passing Go every other turn of his. never wins, but never loses either: is always one of the last players still playing the game

hoshi:

attempts to be a cheater, is terrible at it. wants to win so badly, but he has such bad luck that he always lands on other people's properties and has to pay up. once spent the majority of the game in jail, bc he kept paying to get out only to end up back in there again, and didn't have money left to bail himself out or the 'get out of jail free' card. was the most upset when he had to play using a pawn from a chess set they had lying around somewhere (monopoly never comes with enough pieces for all 13 of them to play. weird, right? you'd think they'd make 13 pieces) and complained that even being the hat would be better than this. was then hit on the head by seungkwan, who was playing with the hat piece

wonwoo:

before they start playing he's constantly preaching that monopoly is basically based on luck and luck alone but as soon as it looks even the littlest like he's winning, he's telling them that monopoly is all about strategizing and budgeting and really the members could learn a thing or two from him—. only plays if he's in the mood to deal with all of their yelling tho, n normally says no thanks to the game when offered

woozi:

loses the most terribly all the time. 70% of the time, is the first one to give up on the game bc he's basically 100,000,000 in debt and he doesn't even know why. gets so angry this one time that he steals all of mingyu's money bc the dumb fool was stupid enough not to take it with him when he went to the bathroom. ended up losing all of it before mingyu even came back from peeing. tells them after every game that he'll never play monopoly with them ever, always ends up joining in the next time someone busts it out during game night

minghao:

always starts the game looking like -__- but as the game goes on and he keeps on gaining money, he slowly gets more and more excited and soon he's giggling every other minute bc people keep landing on his properties or he keeps getting good chance cards. the fates love him. has never gone into debt before. was so close to winning that one time that jeonghan flipped the playing board, wouldn't talk to him for five whole days after that. once owned both of the 'get out of jail free' cards in one round, refused to give them out to the people in jail unless they promised to do him any favour he asked for

mingyu:

never loses, but still loses. had jihoon steal all his money from him when he needed the bathroom one time, and came back to find out he'd pathetically lost it all. somehow always ends up playing the ship. doesn't know why he needs to mortgage his property, or how he even does it. asks the bank for loans, and chan refuses, saying he won't give him a loan unless he does aegyo. ends up still not getting the loan. has knocked over people's houses dozens of times while moving his ship round the board. ends up dropping out of the game halfway through bc jihan keep cheating too much for him to keep up and besides, seungcheol owns half the board and he doesn't even have any money left :(

dokyeom:

managed to almost win out of pure luck one time. has no idea what he's doing, asks his hyungs for help on every go. wants jeonghan to give him advice on whether he should buy a property or not: jeonghan either advises him genuinely or says the complete opposite of what would benefit dokyeom, depending on how he feels at that moment. has lost all his money bidding for a property before. finds it super unfair when jihan cheat him, starts whining and pouting so badly and throws his cards down in frustration. rarely sticks around till the end of the game, giving up and just watching the others battle it out across the board

seungkwan:

competitive. could almost be as competitive as seungcheol, but since he's competitive about every game they play it kind of cancels out so he's placed under him. fights any member who so much as looks at the dog piece, because that is his thank you very much. spent the entire game in a foul mood one time when he lost the dog piece to joshua. always ends up throwing something at someone during the game. never lasts until the end, throws his money in the air in exasperation and dramatically flings himself down onto the couch to watch the rest of them fight over the game

vernon:

monopoly is one of the few things that vernon can get truly competitive at. loves yelling at jeonghan every time he cheats, has also had to dodge flying pawns before as seungkwan threw them at him in anger when he landed on his ridiculously expensive property. always owns only a few streets, but manages to upgrade them so high that he's raking in money if ever anyone lands on them. almost lasted a whole game one time, before hoshi physically wrestled his cards out of his hands. he still doesn't know why he did that, or even why he let his hyung do that. 

chan:

is the banker. knows that he's terrible at games involving money, especially if it's against yoon jeonghan, so decides, for his sanity and his mental health, he'll never play a monopoly game against him. is also a great banker, apart from the times that money mysteriously disappears from the box. likes to sit back and enjoy the chaos that happens, knowing full well that their entire game could descend into even further catastrophe if he decided to withdraw the bank from them. 

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[mrsroosterbradshaw]

london girl <3

jake “hangman” seresin x british!fem wife

soundtrack: London Boy by Taylor Swift™️

summary: the team is shocked when jake slips up and confesses that he has a wife. little do they know that he is head-over-heels for his wife and he gushes at how much he loves your accent 🤭

“I love my hometown as much as Motown, I love SoCal and you know I love Springsteen, Faded blue jeans, Tennessee whiskey”

jake seresin wasn’t the type to get tied down. in his college days at UT it would be go to a bar, dance, get a girl, go home with them, then leave. he had quite the reputation when he got into the navy, too. cocky, didn’t care about anyone but himself. so, naturally, when the dagger squad was all at the hard deck playing pool and darts, they were shocked when hangman finally let it slip.

“phoenix, how is the boyfriend? finally scare him off yet?” bradley said, jokingly. jake let out an airy laugh.

“har har,” she said to bradley then turning to jake, “i wouldn’t be laughing, you’re the single, lonely one.”

“nope, got a woman i love at home.” he said, the look of realization on his face once he realized what he had said was priceless. the squad started laughing. no, not a short laugh, bradley is rolling on the ground crying.

“yeah right. good one bagman.” phoenix said.

he decided in that moment that it was time to come clean, after four years of being married and with a little girl on the way, he let it slip. “no i’m being dead ass.” jake said.

“no way. i don’t believe you.” phoenix said.

“believe me or not.” he said, throwing his hands up in defense. “but i do. we have been married for four years and we have a daughter on the way.” jake pulled out a folded picture from his front pocket of his khaki uniform and handed it to phoenix.

“no fucking way, you’re tied down?” phoenix said in disbelief.

“yep, i’ll bring her by sometime! well that’s my cue, said too much and don’t wanna be drinking and driving because i wanna get home to my mrs.” jake yelled as he walked out of the doors of the hard deck, determined to get to his pregnant wife.

“But something happened, I heard her laughing, I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent. They say home is where the heart is, but that's not where mine lives”

“darling. i don’t think they will like me. i’m not like you guys.” you say, growing self conscious of your 7 month pregnant belly.

“sweets, they are going to love you! i promise. we have to leave in about 5 minutes!” he yells after he kisses you on the cheek and walks into the mud room.

“don’t forget to feed the animals! i’ll go out and feed the horses while you do the cows, sheep and the goats!” you yell from across the house.

“gotcha sweets!!” your lovely husband yelled from across the house at you.

(time skip to the hard deck)

“you go ahead to your friends, this pregnant lady has to pee for the twentieth time today.” you said, walking away laughing.

“be safe! we will be over by the pool tables!” jake yells as he walks towards the pool tables that all his friends are surrounding and talking.

“seresin, as i live and breathe!” bradley said, sarcastically.

“hey bradshaw!” jake said.

“where is your imaginary wife at? chicken out and not bring her? oh wait, she isn’t real!!” payback butt in and said.

“who’s not real?” you say as you waddled up to the group.

“hey sweets!” your husband drawls out with that accent you love. “we were just talking about you!”

“all good thing i hope!” you say.

“so, i guess you are real! sorry, we are all just a little surprised when bagman told us. how did you guys meet?” phoenix asked you.

“well i was at a flower festival in San Diego with my best mates and we went to a pub after that was near and jake here was there because he was stationed nearby.” you started.

“i was with javy grabbing a few beers after our training and i went up to the bar to get us another round, but something happened, I heard her laughing, I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent. and i instantly fell in love. i knew i had to have her.” he said.

“oh don’t even! i knew i had to have you when i saw you and i heard your sexy accent.” you said, side-hugging him.

“aw you guys are so cute!” phoenix gushed.

“You know I love a London girl, I enjoy walking Camden Market in the afternoon. she likes my American smile, Like a child when our eyes meet, darling, I fancy you. Took me back to Highgate, met all of her best mates, So I guess all the rumors are true. You know I love a London girl. girl, I fancy you (ooh)”

“when we got married, for our honeymoon we went to London so i could show him around my home city! i took him to the Camden Market and he won’t admit it but he enjoys it.” you say.

“ okay okay, you caught me. i do like it.” jake admits.

“hey jake?” you say.

“yes sweets?” he replied.

“i need a break.” you told your husband.

“okay i got you, baby.” jake said, he went behind you as you kept talking with the group and lifted up your baby bump. you let out a sigh of relief.

“thank you.” you say, breathless.

“okay!” phoenix exclaimed, “Jake is a real softy! i’m jealous because you are both so madly in love and i wish i had that with Marcus.”

“oh i bet Marcus loves you a lot!” you say, trying to convince her.

“oh no, not like how jake loves you. even the way he looks at you! i’m jealous!!” she says.

“he does not look at me in any way!” you told her. “right jake?” you say, craning your neck to look at your lover behind you.

“huh?” he says, snapping out of his daze.

“see? my point exactly!” phoenix points out.

“oh shut up jake.” you say, laughing and walking away with phoenix.

“what did i do?” jake asked himself, quietly. “what did i say?” he asked coyote, who was right next to him to witness it all.

coyote put his hands up in defense. “nope, that’s on you.” coyote then walked away towards you, chuckling.

“NO SERIOUSLY!” jake yelled across the bar.

[griefxoxo]

From Strange To Deviant

Disclaimer: All characters are 19+. If you do not like this type of content, please DO NOT read. This is pure fantasy only.

I was walking through a strange city on a chilly Tuesday morning in a city called Olinville. The place was pretty urban, but the city was calm and not much occurred. I was headed to Olinville University, so I took the train station like usual. 

A few moments later the train arrives. As I get on I notice a strange man. I also notice that there are way less people than usual. I feel weird around the man, but I just chalk it up to paranoia. As I walk by I check my phone and play my music to drown out the background. 

As I'm about to zone out a smell hits my nose. It is absolutely disgusting and stinks like garbage. The strange man that I saw earlier grinned at me. He then walked over to me and patted me on the back and then flipped me off while smirking. The smell from before hit me again twice as strong now. I almost wanted to vomit but I held my composure and ignored it. 

I got off the train still shocked and realized I had to pee, very badly. Something told me to just wait until I got to campus but I ignored it and went to a nearby restaurant instead. Huge mistake. 

I walked in and the same strange man was there grinning at me with this evil look. I went to the urinal to take a piss. Another huge mistake. He followed right after me and used the urinal next to me. 

He started whistling and this weird sense of calm came over me. It felt eerie and strange, like a peace I have never felt before. He kept whistling and as I was finishing something unexpected happened.

😨He let 2 large ones rip right next to me. It smelled just as bad as before on the train. So he had silently bombed me and knew it. He looked over his shoulders dead at me and chuckled a deep laugh. "I'll be seeing you again, boy," he said as he continued to smirk. I leave the bathroom creeped out and head back home. 

I shower and then study for midterms that were coming up soon. I then start winding down for bed. All the lights were off and suddenly there was a presence next to my bed. It looked like the same man from earlier but he was wearing something different. 

He had on these strange red clothes and half of it was off showing his nice build. He started giving that evil grin again and rubbing his crotch. He seemed aroused and started to take his clothes off.

He continued rubbing himself and his legs and moaning and sighing. He then paused and looked at me with a dark look. He walked over and got right in my face. 

"I got a present for you, boy." He talked to me like I was less than. He almost seemed demonic. He then turned around and positioned his butt in my face and....

A deep fart right in my face 🤢. It smelled like rotten vegetables and it was nauseating. He let out a few more small poots that smelled just as bad. "Too much for you boy?" he said condescendingly. "This is just a warm up." 

UUUURPPPP

He belched like a monster. It vibrated deep in my ears. He then got on my bed and lay on his stomach gazing at me with a glint of pleasure in his eyes. He let out another deep fart and it stunk the entire room. He started whistling again and that same eerie calm came back. "I know you like it," he whispered. He then continued whistling as the smell still lingered. 

He got up and positioned himself leaning on the bed with his bare ass hanging out. 

"Wet one just for you little nasty boy," he laughed. He ripped a few more wet ones and they smelled like a gas leak. My eyes actually began to water. 

"Come and kiss my ass weakling," the man said taunting me. I of course didn't want to but something took over me. I walked over and got on my knees. I gently kissed him on his right cheek and he moaned. 

"Good boy," he said as he blasted me with a silent bomb for a whole minute. He started stroking himself again until he came on his hand. 

Eventually I passed out from the smell and woke up in a strange garden. It didn't feel like Earth, it felt 'different'. Was I dead? I saw the strange man in my blurry vision fully naked and smiling. 

[stevenbasic]

GITJ Post 318: Anderson and the Thugs

“Many men seemed ready to give us control. Many were just confused, or ignorant. But I had heard about others.” - Lakshmi Vallurupalli

…

“These simps are just as big a problem as the bitches,” grunted the buzz-cut ex-coast guard Petty Officer as he pushed aside the phone, the picture he was being shown, and went back to cleaning the tip of his firearm with what looked like an olive-green toothbrush, “fawning over these chicks…”

“...Voting for them, letting them do whatever the hell they want,” agreed the gray man holding the phone, sitting alongside on the threadbare couch in the basement of hi-…well, his wife’s family’s…home. He, also, had been working on a rifle, one of the half-dozen or so he’d started to amass in his downstairs armory. She liked to call it his “Man Cave” but haha she had no clue what they were doing, what they were planning. It was currently “Headquarters” or, as Buzzcut would call it, “HQ”. It had everything they needed: lots of room for physical training, internet, a lockable storage area, a separate entrance. And yeah okay a bar and a leather couch and some Bears posters. But it wasn’t just a man cave anymore. This was HQ for Resistance Cell IL5. The gray man took one last glance at the Senator-elect from California’s ass and put the phone away.

In the meantime, Anderson stood, awkwardly, over by the pool table. He’d only just arrived tonight, after spending the past week “on the run”, moving from location to location, sleeping where he could, laying low in case they were after him. He knew he wasn’t safe at his home any longer; his sister Mary Jane was onto him, and had been trying to lure him back. Life had become hard, he was hungry and exhausted, but the Resistance needed him! After some effort, he’d been able to secure a place to stay, here in the basement of a fellow malcontent/freedom fighter with whom he’d been in contact on the forums. He’d been used to living in a basement, so this would be fine even if it did smell like cat pee.

Boxes of what he figured was ammunition lay aside the scattered billiard balls, along with several greasy takeout bags from The Meat Shack and a pile of laundry. Ned apparently always asked to do laundry, when he came over for meetings.

“NED!! WOULD YOU TURN THAT GODDAMN VIDEO GAME OFF?!?” shouted Buzzcut, “We need to talk strategy!!”

Both Anderson and the fifth member of their little group, a tall, rail-thin man of sunken cheeks, nervous eyes and a full mustache, jumped at Buzzcut’s shout. The grey man on the couch barely flinched - he was more concerned about disturbing his wife upstairs, who had work in the morning. Ned - a large, poorly-shaven lump of male sunk into a huge beanbag chair in front of a huge TV screen - didn’t seem to hear anything at all.

“Get him off that thing,” Buzzcut instructed Mustache, obviously irritated but setting down his M40 gingerly. 

After a polite request, a more insistent nudge and then a slap to the side of the head, Ned was finally pulled from his game - which, he claimed, was actually training for when they finally got pulled into action….shooting chicks would be just like shooting vampires or whatever it was he was doing. The television was changed to one of the 24-hour news stations, at which Buzzcut scoffed, and Ned awkwardly twisted his impressive bulk in his beanbag to face the others. Maybe it was Ned that smelled like cat pee?

The five of them discussed what had recently become the chatter on the resistance forums. Buzzcut voiced it himself, here: now that the elections were over, would something else happen to them? Would these implants they’d all been somehow infected with suddenly activate in some new way?

“It’s not implants, I tell you,” insisted the gray man. Buzzcut was good at karate or jujitsu or whatever it was, but he was an idiot about a lot of things, “It’s some kind of virus.”

“I actually think it’s something called a prion,” Anderson spoke up, trying to sound a little less mousy amidst all this testosterone, “the European cells have people th-”

“Wait wait hold up,” Buzzcut stopped him with a raised hand, turning to the television, “We should listen to these cunts…”

The news commentator, a man of unfortunate facial hair, was interviewing a sitting Senator, the woman from New Mexico who all five men knew to be on the Resistance’s ever-growing “list”. She was a handsome, severe woman, and though he seemed obsequious to her she still did not seem to be suffering the fool’s questions lightly. She was taking the airtime opportunity to laud her gender’s new victories, and announce her switch of parties, from Republican to New Woman.

“They’re going to fucking run everything, aren’t they?” Buzzcut grumbled, again picking up and doing something to his firearm.

“Seems that way,” Gray answered, as the Senator continued to speak, “I mean, even before the election, the House and Senate were fucking majority women, but at least they were two different parties. They still fought, like they always did, right?”

“Yeah,” Ned grunted. He’d picked up his fully kitted-out AR-15 and was looking down the barrel.

“But now, all these goddamn women - Senators, Representatives, Democrats, Republicans - they’re all switching parties to New Woman,” Gray continued.

“Like this broad here,” Buzzcut growled, pointing his rifle at the television, “I’ve been hearing about it all day.”

“So even before these new people get sworn in, New Woman is going to have a majority in the House and Senate. They have it already, as of today,” Gray explained, “and when the incoming new electees take office in January, they’ll have overwhelming supermajorities.” It all sort of made Anderson’s head spin; it was happening so fast, just like they’d all feared. It was one thing to predict it, rant about the possibilities. Now that it was here, and things were going down, it was getting, uh, scary. Some people in the movement had gone quiet over these past twenty four hours, others had seemed newly aggrieved and energized, finally called into action. 

“Fucking cunts,” Buzzcutt muttered. 

“They can get some legislation started now, these changes we know they want to make,” the man on the couch continued, “but who knows what they’ll be able to do next year when they have total and absolute control of both houses?”

“And they've got the Presidency, too,” Anderson interjected, as if the group needed reminding that that blonde soccer-mom fitness-chick self-help guru from North Carolina had won in a landslide. 

“Exactly,” Gray agreed, picking up his rifle again and caressing the stock, “they’ve got both the fucking Legislative and Executive Branch. The Judicial Branch…” He looked around; were these people getting it? Ned looked particularly flummoxed. “Like, the court system?” Gray knew that the Supreme Court was already more than fifty-fifty female, and that the men on it were either all very elderly or had been struck strangely frail with recent illness. New appointees would be in the hands of the new Administration, and the lower courts would likely soon follow the Supreme Court into a female-dominated system. It was too complex to explain to these morons here and now, but Jesus these women had it all planned out, didn’t they?!?

“Do you boys want cookies?” came a voice from the top of the basement stairs, “I just made some!”

“Honey n-n-n-not now!” Gray screamed out.

“Okay sweetie I’ll leave them up on the counter if you change your mind!” the woman called, “Have fun with your friends I’m going to bed love you!”

“G-g-g-go to b-b-b-bed!” he yelled. 

Ned and Buzzcut began to laugh. “A-a-a-a-are yuh-you sh-sh-shure?  Y-you c-can h-have muh-milk and c-c-c-cookies?” Buzzcut jided his couchmate, who tended to stutter when speaking to his wife. 

“Yeah you can suck it from her tits,” added Ned, strangely, in his incongruously high voice.

“Don’t joke about that sort of thing,” Anderson muttered, in a quiet aside, horrifying images of what he’d seen at home flashing through his brain. 

Buzzcut was maybe the only one who heard him, and cocked an eyebrow his way but then turning to address Mustache. “Speaking of, we need to know more about this clinical site, this chick in charge - Monroe, is it?”

“Melissa,” added Anderson, feeling his throat tighten. He couldn’t believe they were talking about her, the girl that’d been a really cute freshman, and then THE hot sophomore during his miserable senior year at xxx High. 

“Whatever,” Buzzcut said, addressing Mustache again, “Any more info? You said she’s putting in a pool? In the basement? Hiring more girls?”

Mustache straightened, and brought a nervous comb of fingers through his greasy hair. He’d been working on a construction crew, revamping an office building on the outskirts of the city, and when he’d been told to reach out to and sign up with this group of guys who seemed to think there was some sort of worldwide chick-conspiracy, he was surprised how eagerly they’d taken him in. He was a valuable guy to them, but in his recent state he was a bag of nerves. “Uh….” he stammered. 

“She’s been doing this since high school, I know that,” Anderson interjected, “assembling girls around her, a squad…”

“Uhhh….” Mustache began again, images of the women who’d haunted his dreams and filled his every waking moment with their overwhelming tits ever since…when was it…that party? His memories of these past few weeks were really hazy, to say the least. 

“And now,” Anderson continued, seeing as Mustache was still struggling to find his words, “it sounds like she’s getting her hooks into her boss, the doctor at th-“

“Yeah you’d said that,” Gray stopped him, “And what are you thinking? Can we still get him as another inside guy?”

“I think he’s too brainwashed,” Mustache suddenly spoke up, blurting out what he didn’t know was maybe too much information. Things were so confusing, and he secretly wished he was back at work where it smelled better. 

“Brainwashed, huh?” grumbled Buzzcut, “He’s been compromised? We should do something about that.”

“I..I think he could still be an asset,” Anderson added, nervous that violence was being insinuated, “I’ve been in communication through secure email, and he seems receptive to listening…” He’s actually been ignoring me recently. “I think if we send him some support, reach out to him. There’s two people on the forum who are attorneys who s-“

“Lawyers,” Buzzcut scoffed, echoed by Gray, “I say we go in with guns. He’d listen then.”

“Yeah,” chuckled Ned. 

There was, suddenly, the staccato of rapping on the basement door, the one through which they’d all entered, the one which led to the backyard. 

“Speaking of guns, sounds like the grunts are here,” Buzzcut announced, standing up from the couch as a cocky, satisfied grin stretched across his clean-shaven face. “You turds ready for some Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu?”

============================

more at my Patreon

[imalwaysinconfusion]

this is gonna be about Nebuya’s parents and how he came to be born, and is my first time doing HCs so please bear with me :)

His dads name is Andwele/Andi and he is from Tanzania 🇹🇿 and his moms name is Alisha (idk, it’s giving that forme) and she is a black american and they met in middle school (american school system)

Alisha would bully tf out of Andi bc he was the new and he was not having so he kept the same energy but cussed her out in Swahili that shut her up

she liked that and tried to be friends with him afterwards AND IT WORKED by the time they hit 7th grade they became friends and he also taught her a bit of Swahili actually

When they got high-school they gained feelings for each other freshman year and they both knew this, Alisha was waiting on Andi to make the first move but she got impatient and just straight up asked him to be her boyfriend

he said yes while standing in shock like this: “😮”

they got together and became INSEPARABLE, you couldn’t see one w/o the other <3

After graduation and being awarded valedictorian and salutatorian (i’ll let you decide which one got what) Alisha, being the baddie she is, joined the Army and Andi went to college for Software Engineering

When Alisha when to basic training it was hard on them bc it was the first time they have been separated like this without any contact but being the strong willed people they are they got through it

After she got back from basic Andi surprised her with a trip to California Disney for completing the grueling training she went through (she cried up a storm) and he just needed a break from classes

On the last day of the trip they went to see the fireworks show at the castle and he proposed to her and she said yes 🥹

Right after the proposal Alisha got right to work on planning the wedding, Andi had no say in the wedding because he said he didn’t want to “ruin her special day”

BUT she made him pick the color scheme which was blue and white (WHICH ATE BTW)

After a 1 year and 6 months of planning, preparing, and being perplexed about the wedding and about being engaged they said “i do” and went straight into the honeymoon phase

BUTTT that didn’t last long because she got orders to be stationed in Tokyo, Japan which they were both very excited about.

They had 3 months to learn as much Japanese as they could and they learned enough to hold a small conversation

When they arrived to Japan, Alisha found out she was pregnant!!! (they wanted to keep the gender a secret) so she had to go on leave and stayed home which she could handle by herself

Andi at the time started a engineering job for one the top 7 software companies in japan, but don’t worry he still made time for Alisha and took care of her any way she needed

but he still felt bad about not being home enough so he bought a dog to keep Alisha company ( she was an Akita named Star)

By the time her 3rd trimester came they were very nervous about the birth

when i mean “they” i just mean Andi, Alisha had to smack him a couple times to get him to calm down and act straight

then one faithful morning Alisha’s water broke but she was didn’t notice so she was just peeing thinking she just drank too much fluids

Then Andi was like “girl your water broke” and she said “oh that makes sense🧍🏾‍♀️” and they went to hospital

When they got to the hospital (they are both fluent atp) and told the staff what they needed to get for Alisha

and alas OUR BIG BABY NEBUYA EIKICHI WAS BORN

And mean like 9 pounds 9 ounces big, he was a chunky baby (the BEST babies btw)

After the birth one of Alisha’s commanders said that they could move back to the states since Big E (yes that is his nebuya’s nickname)

But Alisha said “i am not about to leave a country when i spent months cramming the language in my head… we staying”

The end :)

a/n this was just random and this is cannon ( i was Alisha’s left big toe) hope y’all enjoyed it!!

[thai-with-booty]

Did you have public sex in London with Emil?

Yes, but wasn't really planned or something he seemed into. Just seemed so busy everywhere and we didn't know our ways around. How it happened was we had to wake really early as he has a early flight from a airport, we went to the station, I went with him and we had a long goodbye, we kept kissing and hugging. I said I wanted him again and he sort of said where but was a bit shy but wanted it too. I said just quick, but the toilets at the station were busy early even at that time and too obvious to sneak in. We went out the station and wondered a bit, being about 4am it was quieter that people out from night before were mostly home and morning people not woke for work yet. We found a sort of alley way, but was bigger like a car could get down but seemed to be a dead end and some garage door at the end, so very likely to be seen, u could see from the street if u looked down, there wasn't anything to hide behind. The entrance to the place have pee everywhere as people on their way home relieved themselves but further down was ok, I held a drain pipe as he lifted my dress and I wriggled my panties down to my ankles. He fucked me from behind, I had to tell him to cum as he risked missing his train, so he came in me. He struggled getting his big cock back in his pants quickly and I gave him my panties. It felt much better kissing Emil goodbye with his cum inside me

[homo-rashi]

Kinktober 2023 | Public Embarassment

Original Male Character x Original Male Character

Yuu was completely enthralled with Akihiko. Hearing his stories of his past, eating the delicious food he recommended, getting completely lost is the dark, ashe like color of his eyes as he speaks so fondly about the owner of this little cafe, of this formerly bustling onsen town…If only his body hasn't jolted him out of his completely concentration on Akihiko. 

He went to take another sip of the warm rice based drink, after losing count of how many free refills he has been provided, he finally feels warm from the inside out and is dying to pee. Yuu honestly, had to go before Akihiko and him even go onto the train. Having waited at the station for almost an hour beforehand, drinking a hot coffee from a nearby vending machine to stay warm, He figured they would be at their destinations soon and he could relieve himself there, except, they were on the train for two hours…

Now, he doesn't want to get up, break the flow-oh god don't think about things flowing-of their conversation to excuse himself to the restroom, a restroom he hasn't seen. He has been looking. Whenever Akihiko breaks the conversion to take a bite, chew and swallow it, he has let his eyes wander around the small cafe, finding only a door back to the kitchen and nothing more.

“Aki-chan, would you two like desert? Its on the house!” Mimino-san comes back over to clear their plates, 

“Are you going to let me pay for anything? Come on, I gotta show Yuu-san that I'm treating him on our first date, like a gentleman.” Akihiko jokes with the older woman. It makes Yuu’s heart swell, imagining this is how Akihiko might interact with his own grandmother. 

“Yuu-kun! You mustn't let our princess pay!” Mimiko jokes, hustling back to the kitchen, presumably not taking no on the deserts. 

“Akihiko…How does Mimiko know about Aki-chan?” Yuu asks, genuinely curious. He was under the impression that Akihiko’s crossdressing was a very, very big secret from the hushed tone he recalled his past in, but clearly, Mimiko san thinks of Akihiko as a girl, or rather a princess. 

“Ah, well, I left that part out for a reason, it's rather embarrassing.” Yuu swears he can see a faint blush creep up on his cheeks, and now he had to know, 

“Come on, you read my horribly embarrassing english essays, I think I deserve some blackmail material on you.” Yuu teases, He wiggles slightly in his seat, pushing his cup of amazake away so he doesn't take another sip. He just has to get through the desert and then he can slip away to the restroom at the train station. 

“I thought I was so smart, you know, coming here where nobody would know me. I was pretending to be so confident…but I actually thought I still looked like a guy.” Yuu can't believe that, 

“But, you. Um, sorry if this isn't a compliment anymore, but you look very feminine…I actually thought you were a woman the first time I saw you.” Yuu is only slightly embarrassed at the admission hen Akihiko's face lights up, 

“I thought so, most people do when they see me from behind, but you still found me attractive when you found out I was a man…?” Akihiko teased further, 

“Even more so…actually.” Yuu blushes extremely hard at admitting that out loud, but pushes past it, urging Akihiko to continue with his story. Mimiko quietly drops off two bowls of Zenzai, a sweet red bean soup with mochi. 

“Well, Even so. I didnt think my whole plan through and one week while I was here, I ended up drinking a little too much at juice bar, free samples and such. I didnt have alot of money cause I was paying for my own university but…” Akihiko pauses, taking a big spoonful of his desert. Yuu does the same but cringes as he feels more liquid being added to his body. Of all the traditional desserts, mimiko-san had to choose the only liquid one he could think of. 

“I wasn't nearly ready to go home but I really had to um, relieve myself…” Yuu’s eyes go wide. Of course, when he is in this predicament, this would be the story Akihiko is telling. He tenses his legs under the table, uncrossing and recrossing them. 

“Oh-” Yuu doesn't know how to respond, he just wants to sound natural, not like he has to ‘relieve himself’ extremely badly right now. 

“Yeah and I was dressed like a woman, but I didn't think I really looked like one, and I was well am, a man. Going into the women's restroom like that was, well, not an option and the mens also could have been dangerous…” Yuu feels bad for Akihiko’s past self. He can definitely relate to the feeling of needing to go and nothing having a place to. 

“So, I went on with my day, just hoping it would go away…but that's not how it works. I ended up wobbling into Mimiko-san’s shop, like, hands between my legs.” 

“Oh my god.” Yuu laughs slightly at the mental image, he gently rests his free hand in his lap, realizing he can hold himself under the table without Akihiko seeing. He instantly feels relief. 

“Yeah, it wasn't my finest moment. I found Mimiko-san, she was younger and bussing tables, I frantically ran up to her, asking if he has a restroom…completely forgetting to change my voice at all-” 

“So you sounded like you do now?” Yuu asked, he was picturing Aki-chan with a very high pitched, normal female japanese voice this whole time, but he guesses, Akihiko couldn't really change his voice that much.

“A little higher, but basically yes…Mimiko-san did clock me immediately but she told me there were public restrooms at the station and they only had a private restroom for staff in the back and I didnt know what to do, so I…Lifted up my wig, showing her my short hair, and I just said  ‘I either use your restroom or your floor, miss’ and she took me back, and then helped me fix my hair and did my makeup and yelled at me for how dangerous what I was doing was and then, she let me always get changed here for a year, until I went to the states.” 

‘Wow. Mimiko-san was just…okay with it?” Yuu asked, normally, older japanese women were very set in their ways about lgbt stuff, if they even know what it is. 

“Yuu, Mimiko is a trans woman…Why do you think she and her husband are still running this shop, she never could have any kids and in japan…she cant adopt.” Yuu’s eyes widen, 

“I-I had no idea!” He looks over at Mimiko-san shocked, but happy, happy she was able to help Akihiko in his time of need, now thought, he knows there is a bathroom but- is his circumstance really bad enough to ask to use the private restroom…

Yuu decides not to ask when Mimiko-san comes over and tries to refuse Akihiko’s payment and tip, Arguing that they don't do tips in Japan and Akihikp arguing back that he lived in San Francisco, and to not disrespect his American culture. Mimiko ends up taking the money and hugging Akihiko and himself goodbye, the tight squeeze of her arms around his body makes his shift in place, reeling how badly he has to go now that he is standing up. 

Leaving the cafe, Yuu expects Akihiko to turn to the train station, but he doesn't, instead, Yuu’s hand is taken once more and they head in the opposite direction. Five minutes later Yuu finds himself casually strolling through a park with Akihiko, hand in hand, it would be romantic. If Yuu didn't have his other free hand, in his pocket squeezing his cock for dear life, squeezing everything for dear life at this point. 

“If it's too busy, we can…not- '' Akihiko goes to pull his hand away, but Yuu is also squeezing it. He didn't even realize he was doing it. Yuu lets him go but without Akihiko pulling him along, he cant find the will to move, to part his legs. He really, really should have spoken up at the restaurant, but it's too late. They left, they have walks farther from the station, too far, too-

“You feeling alright? Let’s sit down, okay?” Yuu can't even process Akihiko moving him over to a nearby bench, assisting him in sitting down. He feels wetness drip onto his upper lips, he is sweating, yet he can see his breath. “Do you feel like you're going to be sick?” Akihiko asks, and Yuu can hear the worry and sincerity in his voice, Yuu doesn't say anything, not trusting his voice, he just shakes his head, he wishes he was sick, but no, he is about to wet himself because he cant speak up for himself. 

“Can you walk? Maybe you need some water-” Akihiko goes to stand, but Yuu cant. He is leaking, he feels it. His boxers soak it all up, but if he stands, it will be all over, He won't be able to hold it. 

“Hide me.” Yuu reaches up and grabs Akihiko's hand. He is going to wet himself, for the first time in years, on his first date with a guy, with Akihiko. 

“What? I don't understand, Yuu, What's wrong?” Akihiko is bending down in front of him, looking him in the eyes. Yuu can't, He cant hold it, He can't be looking at Akihiko when it happens, so he leans his head forward, slumping his weight into Akihiko’s suit jacket shoulder, Whats starts as a small drip, erupts into a waterfall falling through the wooden slats of the bench, onto the concrete park walkway below them. 

“Oh-” Yuu can't take the acknowledgment of Akihiko knowing what has just hapepned.He feels him, Akihiko pulling away, Yuu covers his face with his hands, not longer being shielded by Akihiko's warm body. He feels so utterly alone and humiliated. 

“Mommy- is that man okay?” He hears the child's voice, followed by rushed shushes from a few women, He is crying, shaking, when he feels the warm, soft fabric off something falling over his lap. 

“Sorry, there, nobody can see now. You're okay. If you didn't feel well, you should have said something.” Yuu finds the familiar warmth of Akihiko inffront of him, un-shielding his eyes, he sees Akihiko's suit jacket covering his lower half, that is now wet and cold, His accident having long finished during his breakdown. 

“I-I’m sorry.” He sobs, He isn't sick, He is just an idiot, an idiot with a small bladder, and an idiot who is beyond embarrassed.

“It's okay, seriously. Let's get you home. You need to rest and get cleaned up.” Akihiko stands, but Yuu doesn't. He knows what he looks like, it's so obvious he wet himself, 

“Here, Tie this around your waist, nobody will see.” Yuu stands, letting Akihiko take his own suit jacket from his lap and tie it around him. It's still obvious from the front what happened, but at least some people will be oblivious to his shame. “Come on, if you need to stop for anything, let me know, okay?” Yuu nods, still not wanting to speak and follows Akihiko to the train station.

[persephoneflouwers]

I didn’t have the best experience with public transport after the festival but it’s nothing compared to the actual nightmare I went through after Harry’s show in Campovolo. I had to spend the night “sleeping” at the train station waiting for the first train in the morning. At the e d of the day it’s up to every single person to make sure to have access to some form of transportation/accommodations… it’s not up to the singers or anyone else.

I mean, in campovolo the area was rightfully closed to taxi. I walked for like 45 minutes to get to my hotel lmao

getting out of the venue was… intense haha my phone didn’t work so I had no fucking idea where I was going in the middle of a sea of people after 45 degrees and the hail and getting there at 6 am and bathroom queue that lasted 1.45 HOURS but then I couldn’t even get in (hold my pee until it was reassorbed if it is even possible- it’s not lol). I didn’t even try to approach the stands with food, only had water and in the middle of it I distributed all the electrolytes to people around me because I couldn’t have paramedics giving plain water to another fainting person

[prettypangolins]

Well I went Outside properly for the first time in years, and for the first time using my wheelchair to try and get somewhere. And? It was awful. I have zero intention of doing it again.

For a start, they've removed all the ramps from the train stations, excluding the ones in the two at the end of the line, and one at the station a town over. Apparently this was for 'health and safety' reasons. The assistance request I'd made yesterday didn't go through. It was unclear where to even wait for the train to stop. The ramp was kinda steep too, so if my housemate hadn't helped I'd have needed to ask the guard for help.

I could not have gone fucking anywhere without someone with me.

The WHSmith in the train station was arranged in such a way that I couldn't navigate it. I had to ask my housemate to buy me a snack.

For the bus the ramp was steep - the driver had to get out to lower it and put it back up after me, so if I'd been on my own I'd have had to go into the bus proper and then go fucking back to get my ticket (the driver's door opens into the bus). There was a weird barrier swinging thing as well, which was stiff as fuck and got in the way when I was trying to get out. At least the bus stop by the train station wasn't too bad, and the paving there was smooth. It was old, rough tarmac at the destination stop.

Now, the fucking STATE of the pavements between the bus stop and cinema was just... no. The drop kerbs were really rough to go over - one was so bad that we actually just stayed in the road because there was no way to actually navigate that kerb. It's so fucking clear that the people putting them in give the minimum effort possible. It's insulting. It was also just so exhausting that my housemate pushed me.

Finally reached the cinema, and found that the counter where you buy overpriced food was high up. The front foyer was smooth tile, which is good, but as soon as you went through towards the screens it was fucking CARPET. Horrible to try and push on. By this point I'd fuckin had enough. I needed to pee but they had the radar key thing, and I'd left my key in my bag, and I'd left that with my housemate. A member of staff went to get a key from the front.

Oh, and the door to the disabled toilet? HEAVY. Really, really heavy. I had to fucking kick it. I have no idea how anyone who can't use their legs would manage. Fucking awful.

I have no idea how the cinema screen door was - I remember them being heavy - because my housemate again helped with that. At least there was only a small incline to get to the seats, but the fucking carpet oh my GOD.

Obviously I didn't have any choice as to where I sat but oh well. As an aside, if I didn't have my loops with me I would have gone into shutdown and/or had a meltdown. The volume in the cinema was way too fucking loud, and having to sit through 35 minutes of shitty adverts made me want to scream. I will NOT be going to the cinema again in its current form.

Using the loo on the way out, I had to ask my housemate for help with the door. I also needed help getting back to the bus. And then getting on the bus. And then, well...

Going to the cinema the bus was quiet. Coming back it was not quiet, and the design was a bit different. There was a fucking pole IN THE WAY, no space to navigate around it because people were sat there with their massive rucksacks, and no fucking space to navigate opposite the wheelchair space because some woman had decided to leave her rollator in the way and didn't have the presence of mind to realise that moving it would be a good thing to do. I was ready to do bloody violence at this point. The bus driver was breaking sharply, so I kept tipping back. Getting out was horrific, damaged my chair, something fell off but idk if that was the bus or my chair, and yeah fucking... The ramp was put down. The driver hadn't got the bus to kneel. The ramp was STEEP. Like... dangerous. AND THE BUS WASN'T CLOSE ENOUGH TO THE KERB so there was a fucking gap on the right-hand side. Just... fuck sakes. Both my housemate AND the driver had to help.

The train station staff were good, I was let through and on ahead of other people (the assistance request had finally gone through), but the entry and doorway to the seating part of the carriage was narrow. The flip-down seats got in the way. To get off, the guard needed to get the ramp out the cupboard, but there was so little space it was just... more damage to my wheelchair. Oh, I also saw the new station on the line and it pissed me off so fucking much. They have textured/ridged tiles which mark the way to things like the exit, the shelter, the lift, etc for blind people. And I'm just like FUCKING WHY because a wheelchair on those?? Awful. They've just... fucked over wheelchair users because... what? Why? Blind people are higher up in the hierarchy of worthiness? It's a more visible intrusion getting in the way of peopel so they'll win more 'we're so good at accessibility!' points??? Just so fucking inconsiderate. I bet people just *love* dragging their suitcases over that too. (At my home station there are little metal things laid into the platform that don't get in the way of anything wheeled because they're a narrow little trail rather than a whole fucking wheelchair-width disaster of ridged tiles placed at randomly alternating angles.)

It's just so fucking awful out there. There's no way to do anything you want to do without being constantly reminded that you're second-class and unworthy of actual thought or consideration. The message is that no one wants you there, you shouldn't try to existi in this space because it's not for you. So much of the stuff is a pathetic token gesture. It's so HOSTILE. (Like the disabled toilet in the actual hospital which has a door too heavy for even an abled person to manage easily.) I am fucking pissed off.

So yeah, I could get where I wanted to go, it was technically 'accessible' but I had to have help the whole way and what in the fresh fucking fuck.

P.S: the Barbie movie was worth it.

[emorris-arch]

My fifth and final blog post! While I am only talking about three days in this post it is going to be a long one. This weekend was full of too many stories to not share with you guys. It is now week 5ish and I will be leaving Italy on Thursday. I've been asked if I am ready to come home and to be so honest, no I am not. Why would I be?! If I could stay abroad forever I would and that is starting to become the goal.

This past weekend, Naia and I decided to be insane and fit Pisa, the coast, and Volterra into two days right before we had to start preparing to fly home this week. This trip started off kinda batshit and that was a good indicator to how the rest of it would go. We caught a train from Rome to Pisa and when I saw "caught a train" I actually mean that we totally missed our train. "What is one to do when they see their train leaving the platform without them?" you might be asking. Obviously you run after it like a crazy person, slamming the door open buttons while the train is in motion as if that's about to work and as if you're going to jump on a moving train. After that spectacle, we bought more train tickets and waited for a while. Fret not, we successfully made it onto the new train.

We finally arrived in Pisa at one in the morning and were greeted with the fresh smell of urine. And so I say "why does it smell like piss in Pisa?" and my question is immediately answered by the man peeing on the side of the train station. It is safe to say at this point I am fully convinced that Pisa is the twilight zone.

To get to the Airbnb we rented bikes and rode across the city to the apartment only to find out that the keys were in a lockbox at the hosts office which was near the train station we had just come from. So we rode across Pisa three times. Finally, we are inside the apartment building and so ready to crash into bed. But oh no! Another strange problem in Pisa has arisen! The door to the Airbnb is unlocked and ajar. Still though we go inside and begin our rounds of inspection which, while we were tired, they were so worth it. The front door had five ancient deadbolts that were difficult to lock and unlock, none of the other doors locked, the door handles were too high to even try putting chairs under, the balcony was shared and also had a room on it that we could not access from the balcony itself but rather climbing through the bathroom window (that also did not lock). We were not even in the apartment for 15 minutes before booking it out and finding a hotel. Women travelers be wary, if it feels bad it probably is.

The first hotel we went to did not have any rooms available but the concierge was extremely helpful and gave us a map where he marked good hotels to stay at that were not to far from where we were. As we were leaving that hotel he had us come back inside and sent us to the fifth floor where we could see an amazing view of the leaning tower at night. The fifth floor are is usually closed that time of night and there were few other buildings with the same height as the hotel so Naia and I got a rare look at the tower at that exact moment.

The next hotel we went to thankfully had a room available. Excited and exhausted from running around all night we drank out the minibar. Don't make that face, we deserved it.

In the morning we walked to the the cathedral complex to watch all of the people trying to push the leaning tower up from it's five degree lean by doing the weirdest yoga poses I've never seen. Naturally, I also did some yoga. On the way to the complex, though, we ran into a Keith Haring mural! Detours are my favorite routes to take because if we had followed google maps we would have never seen our first genuine Keith Haring. Anyways, back at the complex we got tickets to climb the leaning tower and that was pretty insane. Walking up the stairs you can feel the lean of the tower and in each step up there's deep tread marks where people are stepping to adjust to that five degrees. The tread marks zigzag up the tower as the walk around the lean. The view of Pisa from the top was beautiful and the breezy air was a great break from walking up three hundred steps. Back on flat ground, we visited some of the other buildings in the complex and then made our way to the train station early so we wouldn't miss another train.

I know you might be expecting us at this point to have missed that train but I regret to inform you that we were so responsible and timely and made it on with plenty of time to spare. The trip to Volterra took two trains and two busses. In between the the first and second train we had about an hour and 15 minutes to spare so what do two responsible and timely travelers do? The correct answer is take a taxi to the coast. We found some kind of beach front something or other where you can rent a beach chair or umbrella or whatnot and paid the five euro entry fee go sit by the water. So we sat by the water and then jumped in the water and spent about 20 minutes there. Dripping wet we managed to figure out a taxi back and got on the train smelling like salt water. That second train took us to a bus stop and that bus took us to another bus stop. At that point we were not sure exactly how to get up to Volterra's butte because we had no more tickets for any kind of ride. Apparently, though, there is a bus that runs ever two hours up to Volterra and someone must have really felt bad about our arrival to Pisa because we managed to catch that pretty easily.

Volterra is not typically a tourist destination. For anyone except Twilight fans... and I am a Twilight fan. The movie was not filmed in Volterra so obviously it looks different from the movie. But I read the books so I had to go to the real place. I got to see the town that was a setting in New Moon for a few chapters and in the movies for all of five minutes. The trip to Volterra also gave Naia and I a beautiful view of the Tuscan countryside that we had not seen yet, and if we did not visit Volterra we would not have seen it at all on this trip. So, I did my Twilight thing were I stared at the clocktower, walked around talking about what happened in the books and where, and exuding tourist energy. Volterra is also known for it's Alabaster and amazing location which we got to appreciate as well. I would go back to Volterra in a heartbeat and not just because of Twilight.

But if you think I have nothing crazy to say about Volterra you are wrong, it's a trip planned by me and Naia so of course there must be something. When we were looking at the Airbnb photos for the room we stayed in we noticed that the shower was in the same room as the bed. My thought was that it is listed as a room so it must be a room in someone's house and they renovated a large bathroom into a bedroom but could not move the shower and this makes so much sense right because the actual bathroom is so tiny it must have been shoved into a closet right that makes sense right? Being in the room in person, I finally questioned the shower being where it was. The host had a nice display of two wine glasses and a bottle opener for us, there was heart décor everywhere, the name of the place is "the nest" and the guest book is full of couples and notes with hearts all over the place. Suddenly it dawned on me. This is a honeymoon suite. The host even texted us recommending a really good and intimate local place for dinner. Laughing about this major oversight at dinner we were asked for our drink orders. Being the red wine girlies we are we ordered one bottle of red wine, or what I thought was one bottle of red wine. Looking at the menu and never having paid attention to how many mL a single bottle of wine is, I ordered a liter. The bottle comes out and Naia and I once again come to a realization. A bottle of wine is definitely not a liter and we think we just ordered the amount of two bottles given to us in a single bottle. What are we going to do with this much wine?! Finish it, obviously. Dinner was great and so was dessert and so was the wine and so was the limoncello we were given after.

Walking back from dinner after having split a liter bottle of wine, essentially have a bottle to ourselves, we come across a photo booth and we aren't just going to walk past a photo booth of course we have to go inside. The outside of the booth says photos are six euros, at least as far as I can understand. So we put in six euros and go to select one of the two options for photos that comes up. I quickly notice that the six euro photo option is actually for official documents and Naia quickly selects it anyways. So now we have a set of four photos that we can use if we ever want a joint passport. With a few euros left we managed to take the classic photo booth photos and began our walk back to the honeymoon suite. On this walk we noticed that Volterra has a very lively night life and were debating if we should stay out for a little bit longer when we hear a man singing opera and clapping. Naturally we clap along with him and he imparts some words of wisdom upon us before kissing our hands and disappearing into the night. This is all we needed to convince us to stay out for one more drink. That last drink at another very local bar was the strongest gin and tonic I have ever had in my life. I am not sure there was any tonic in it. Finally, finally, finally, we head home and go to be so that we can wake up early to walk around Volterra some more before heading back to Orvieto. That next day I got some Twilight merch because I could not leave Volterra without it. We got a taxi down, a bus to the station, sat outside the station for a bit and enjoyed a beer, and took a few trains back to Orvieto.

Back in our town I was surprised to notice that the weekend did not exhaust me as much as I expected it to. Travelling sporadically with a loose plan (as in hanging on for dear life by the seams loose) is my favorite was to travel. I am convinced that if anyone else from our group came with me and Naia they would not have had nearly as good a time. We work well when we know nothing apparently. I can confidently say that this weekend was my favorite few days during this entire trip. It tops everything :)

[sarahali199x]

The Weirdos and Normals I Loved Chapter 16-18

16./42 Kelly and The USB Stick Warning: Sexual Text, Stalking I was about 16 and in 4th grade, and as I've said over and over, I felt lonely. My last girlfriend was in 12 year old elementary. In addition, I wanted to experience love and lose my virginity. I cursed my school for autists that only had boys. Guys who weren't exactly looking for girlfriends, strangely enough. There was also S. a counsellor from my school, she always helped me and always motivated me. She had a beautiful smile and broad hips, she was also flat chested, but that's what I liked about her. I just know one day I said to her "I'm in love with you." she said 'Oh, Billy, jeez!' (Billy is my old name.) She was shocked and of course nothing had happened between us.

So instead of loving a love I watched hentai, weird hentai. Nothing wrong with that, they were drawings and drawings don't hurt anyone. Besides that, I did something terrible. Of the few girls whom were in my school, and of the pretty teachers, I secretly took pictures. I took pictures of women and girls without permission with my Ipod. I was sick, I wanted to preserve their beauty, to keep them with me.

Meanwhile I had fallen in love with a girl I had met through facebook, Kelly was her name. She was a friend of Y., Y. who was in my class. I think I confessed my love to her online. We agreed to meet in Roeslare, I went there by train. We drank together, we cuddled in the park. We loved each other, we went to the toilet together to cuddle but the toilet lady saw this and chased us away. We went to the station to go back home. And from her… I got my first french kiss. We chatted a lot via skype. She went to visit me at home. We were in bed together, we didn't have sex but we did experiment. They were sexual acts. I stuck my penis between her breasts. Then she masturbated me, I almost came, and for some reason she let go. Because I almost came, I continued, and I came a second later. So on the one hand I had lost my virginity and on the other hand I hadn't, it depends how you looked at it. Since the end of 201X I know that this doesn't matter, but back then I thought it was important. Suddenly, someone knocked on the door, and I said, out of habit, "Yes?". F*cking fool I was then! My mother opened the door and saw us lying there and quickly closed the door. I apologized to Kelly and explained that I was doing it out of habit. For her birthday, I went to visit her home. She loved wolves so I had bought a book about wolves bought for her. We went to her room, I wanted to finger her but she had her period so she said we could not have sex. She went to the bathroom, and I wanted to see her pee, but she didn't want me to see it.

In any case, even though I finally had a girlfriend, I still secretly took pictures of girls. I saved them on my computer and also on a USB stick as a backup. I was afraid of losing the beauty of the girls in my class and in this sickly way I kept their beauty with me. Anyway, Y. had downloaded the anime Elfen lied and promised to put it on my USB stick, I don't remember if the whole series would fit on it , but a few episodes was good too. Y. told me this at a time when we had to take the bus so I had to decide quickly, I told him he could put the episodes in my USB drive as long as he didn't look on my USB folders.

This seems normal, maybe there were beach photos of me in my swimming trunks? You can say that I made a wrong decision by giving my USB stick, but in hindsight I'm glad it happened.

The next day, sh!t hit the fan. Everyone called me a pervert, and S. wanted to see me. Y. saw me and said that what he had found on my USB stick was really, utterly disgusting. Y. immediately called my school and gave my USB stick to a supervisor. After that I had to visit supervisor S. I had to show her the pictures and my weird hentai. She was very disappointed in me and I was crying. They explained to me that this was completely unacceptable and that I had to delete the photos and hentai. I did this as well. I was also no longer allowed to take my iPod Touch with me. I did that, until my old mp3 player broke, then I took my Ipod Touch back after two years, but only to listen to music. There was one snobbish boy who said "You can't take it anymore with you!".

My parents took me to the psychologist as any responsible parent would. You don't want your child to become a rapist or murderer, do you? I confessed it all to the psychologist and explained everything. He told me I had made a big mistake, but learned from it. He asked me if 'I felt like a slave to my penis'. and I said no. He said I didn't have a sex addiction. He also said that I was not a psychopath because I was not focused on pain. I didn't want to hurt others. I was full of guilt. One day Y. was taking pictures of me on the bus and he said "You brought this on yourself." I came home crying.

Meanwhile, I was still in a relationship with Kelly. She knew what had happened through Y. and I tried to deny it, but she knew well enough what I had done wrong and didn't send anything for a while. Finally she sent that she had broken up, I said in a moronic way "That's smart, you didn't send anything for a while." Even though it was my fault, I was still mad at Y.

I've been hiding my weird sexual side ever since. No more unwanted photos, I still looked at weird hentai, there's nothing wrong with drawings and tentacles, but I kept this side of me a secret until ….201X (see later at the chapters about Myrtile).

In the end I'm glad it got out. It was like a cold shower, I was going in the wrong direction and I was shaken awake. Nevertheless, the stench of what had happened would haunt me for the rest of my school career. I was very sorry, I cried a lot and I remember my counsellor saying 'Hey, you didn't commit murder'. In addition, because I was shunned by most students for a while, I had become emotionally stronger. I had a problem, and this became the problem of others. But if I stopped giving a shit about what others thought it was just the problem of others. Even though I deleted the photos, the beauty of the women are still in my head, in my memories. I remember when one of the girls I had a crush on got really mean. She said bad things about a friend of mine for no reason.

She has also become ugly. But in my memory, I see her when she was still beautiful, when I was still in love with her.

17./42 Beppy Warning: Sexual text, suicide, slut shaming A new girl had arrived at school; Beppy. I was in 5th grade (+-17yo) at the time and thought she was a teacher at first. She was long, and had big, well, big breasts. Her clothes also seemed mature, the first time I saw her she was wearing a black vest and black pants. She had a relationship with Herman for a while. He was extremely autistic, but because of that his strength was that he knew a lot. He was like a walking encyclopedia. He knew a lot about extinct creatures. Also dinosaurs? I wonder. He knew by heart which country had which capitals and learned several languages. He was a good guy. That's why I was surprised that he was in a relationship with Beppy who apparently got into a lot of trouble yet was hugely popular. Many boys loved her. She gave the boys lots of hugs and the boys sometimes touched her behind. I thought that was cool of her, she was a free-spirited girl who didn't care what others thought. The narrow-minded teachers spoke of "inappropriate behaviour" and "that this was not normal for a girl her age". There is already so little love in the world and then they start acting so old-fashioned…. My classmates were not much better either, they were jealous and called her "a slut". The boys from the school were virgins who wanted to lose their virginity, but if a girl says or does something she is immediately "a whore", such a BS logic. Beppy and Herman did have one thing in common, they both liked to learn languages, namely Arabic. This fact will be important later in this story. One day Beppy and Herman broke up.

Later, something happened. Beppy and Jay got on well. At one point she and Jay went to the toilet, Jay fingered Beppy. Meanwhile, Miss K. had seen that they had gone to the toilet. Instead of letting two teens gain experience in a consensual way, she took a fcking coin and opened the door like the inquisitive Karen she was. But yes, we have to take into account what she thought, maybe she wanted to check that everything was indeed happening consensually. She swung the door and caught Beppy and Jay right in the act. Beppy and Jay each had to go to the supervisors separately. Beppy understood that what she was doing was wrong according to the school. Jay, on the other hand, got angry and started shouting that Beppy had "framed him" and that Beppy was "a dirty b!tch". That's why my school decided to expel Jay from school…. forever. I thought that was an exaggerated punishment, simply because he was experimenting a bit. I mean our school was in a small village, in the middle of nowhere, and everyone lived quite far away from our school, so it was difficult to meet after school. In addition, where can you find a private space as a minor? You still live with your parents so it's a lot of work, not only to gather your courage and talk to a girl, but you still have to convince their parents or your own parents to let that person come to visit. Anyway, it was over, between Beppy and Herman and I had the feeling that I had to act quickly, or she would run off with someone else. In addition, she waved at me and even blew kisses towards me. In the meantime I had turned 17. As soon as I could I found her on facebook, and, like a moron, I said "I'm in love with you." She said she was in love with me as well. I asked, "Are we in a relationship now?" and she said 'Yes'. I asked how old she was, and her answer exploded in my face like a bomb. 'THIRTEEN YEARS'. SHT! She didn't look that young at all! I got to know her better. She had a pale skin, but identified as a Muslim, much to her parents' dismay. Her father worked for the police. She said she had bought headscarves but her parents hid them. Because her father couldn't find a babysitter, she had to go to her father's work where she saw a cloth with blood. She had a younger sister about eight years old. She said that she was on skype with her sister and often encountered men who masturbated in front of the camera, she had to laugh about it. I had never experienced that before, so I was shocked that she was only 13 AND that her 8 year old sister saw those things, 8 YEARS! I wanted to keep our relationship a secret at first since our age difference. But the first day of our relationship she came to me and my classmates winking and pushing her elbows against me, making it clear to everyone that we were in a relationship. sigh. Our relationship was nice though. We could only see each other during the lunch break, because she was in BSO and I was in ASO, and only then was there a shared square for both groups. Kind of stupid to keep people separated like that, but it was what it was. We hugged long. I gave her kisses and licked her neck. When we hugged she rocked her crotch against mine, that was…. nice actually. She learned to work in the gardens which made her smell like sweat and made her neck taste salty. I wanted to French kiss her, but she kept her mouth shut. She said she wasn't ready yet. So I apologized.

I was a little surprised though. Everyone called her a "whore and slut" but she was a virgin, didn't French kiss and was only 13! She chatted a lot of Arabic with other men online. On her profile they asked how I was, and she just replied. That was rather peculiar, she told strangers everything about our relationship. In addition, my class was angry that I was dating a 13-year-old girl. They always said "Ooh, how is your jail-bait?" I pretended I didn't know what this meant, but when you're on the internet you hear a lot, and I knew it was a term for attractive underage girls. As if they lured grown men into jail. At one point, Beppy was angry with me. I wondered what was going on and she told me that Joris had said all kinds of things about me, so much so that she didn't even want to repeat it. I knew that Joris often gossiped and lied, so I said it probably wasn't true. And like that, our relationship was healed.

There was one night when she suddenly sent something. She said "I'm going to kill myself" or rather "I'm going to KMS" as she called it. I was concerned and tried to call her, I sent numerous messages. I called the school and sent an email. But got no answer. I got a message back from her. She was still alive, she had gone out and said she couldn't kill herself because she didn't find any rope. The next day at school, she was mad at me for telling the teachers. I had to keep it a secret that she had suicidal thoughts. I had to go to the supervisors and they told me "sometimes people say things that you should not believe". Sounded like bad advice when it comes to, well, suicide. All this time my parents knew nothing, nothing at all. The counsellor knew about our relationship and apparently didn't mind, our relationship was consensual and not sexual. Our relationship got a little better, but there was a problem, I had a lot, a lot of schoolwork. Beppy kept, and kept texting and with my homework I couldn't always answer. I also didn't have a smartphone, did that even exist then? So our relationship suffered as a result.

One day she made a proposal, she was going to "break up" but "not really break up." I didn't understand what she meant and I had a bad feeling about it, so I said "let's break up completely". I was sad. My class was rude to Beppy, but not to me, as if I couldn't defend myself. I don't thing she deserved all the hate and rudeness she got from my classmates. Okay, I never said anything, but Beppy didn't deserve hate. Beppy had a typical laugh, which was so loud you could hear them from a long distance, something many hated about her, but when I heard that laugh I got a lump in my throat and tears came to my eyes, I missed her. My class talked about how she cuddled with other boys and "grinded her crotch against them" as she did with me. It seemed like a shard went through my heart. They also said that she met a 21-year-old guy through the internet, he picked her up from the boarding school so they could have a drink together. 13 is indeed quite young to go out for a drink alone; plus 21 is quite… old to have a drink with a 13 year old. Yikes! She hadn't told anyone whom she was going with and where she was going, and the counsellors at the boarding school, who were in their 20s themselves, thought we were all a bunch of disabled people with the minds of 6-year-olds. So they immediately called the police, the police did a whole search and brought Beppy back, and the boy was suddenly suspected of kidnapping. I still remember, in the refectory, the dining room, when Beppy looked at me, she looked at me in a way I felt the world spinning around me. How she did that I did not know, but women, what a power they have! Eventually, Beppy was back together with Herman. With all this stuff it sounds like those relationships I had with Kelly and Beppy lasted a year, but no, both relationships lasted one month each. It's high school and adolescence. It's teen drama, a lot of teen drama.

18./42 J. Unrequited Love, Part 2 Warning: Sexual Text Life went on. A beautiful boy had arrived at school, he looked like a girl, he had long red hair, thick lips, and big cheeks. He was a little plump, but definitely not fat. I was in love with him, but never told him that. Maybe this was another 'gay phase', he looked very feminine and I accepted my feelings for him.

I had fallen in love with a girl named Jolonde. I wanted to talk to her, but every time I went to her she went away. As the moronic autist that I was, I didn't realize at all she didn't want anything to do with me. I didn't give up. It was valentine and I had drawn a valentine heart for her, it was a heart with a lot of doodles on it, and I gave it to her on valentine. The next day she came to me, she had an answer for me. We walked for a while to where it was a bit quieter, near a tree. Her answer was 'no' and she gave my heart back. Of course I accepted it. Anyway, I was angry at home, like the fool I was then. I tore the heart into pieces and flushed it down the toilet.

Then I fell in love with Liesje. We often met, but when I confessed my emotions she said 'I never know what to say in moments like this' and neither did I. So nothing happened. I do remember when she was with another boy. That boy suddenly said to her, "I've forgotten why I'm in love with you." 'Damn it' I thought, 'I can think of a thousand reasons why I'm in love with her!' "Oh, now I remember!" said the boy suddenly.

In the meantime J. had contacted me again. We went to see the movie Brave together, I remember it well, because I was nervous during the movie. It was 201X, the last month of 5th grade and I was about 18. I thought, "Well J. is older now, and maybe the hormones have kicked in now and we can finally be in a relationship."

We were waiting for the movie to start, a corny love song was playing, when it was over I tried to kiss her but she pushed her head away, I tried again and she nodded no. I stopped and was anxious, had I scared her? Once at home we texted, she asked 'are you mad at me?' and I said, "No, I just thought you were mad at me." I was glad we weren't arguing, we chatted for a bit and then she said 'I'm going to stop sending now to save my cell phone.' This was the last thing she said to me.

I was always in love with someone, maybe this was the sign that I was Polyamorous, or rather Ethically Non-monogamous. But I will come back to this later. I used to be a lonely loser, but I got tired of breaking my heart over and over again, so I thought I'd stop looking for love for a while.

Meanwhile, Q., a good friend of mine, fell in love with J. He was quite a nerdy boy, he wore glasses and had quite a weird way of talking. He had no idea that I was in love with J., but he sought advice and help from me. He called her "The Creature" so people wouldn't notice we were talking about her, wow, totally not creepy at all. He wanted me to go with him to her and talk to her and stuff, which was hard because J. wanted to keep a distance with that I was in love with her. Later Q. came up to me and said: "My counsellor went to me and said I had to stop obsessing over J!" I was completely confused, I tried to help my friend to find a girlfriend, but instead I was helping him Stalk someone! Q. said: "They want me to stop, but how can I stop thinking about someone? How do I stop being in love with someone? I'm not a robot whose emotions you can just remove!" I immediately told the counsellors, and they said they would talk quietly with Q. about it.

Beppy, J. and Jolonde will be back! But first it's time for the next chapter.

[ginalinettiofficial]

things i dreamed about last night while i slept for 15 and a half hours:

- there was a mouse in my room but i couldn’t get my eyes to open enough to focus and see if it was REALLY a mouse or just a bug. this may or may not have been that sleep paralysis shit that happens to me sometimes

- my cousin taylor came over and cleaned my room while i was asleep and then shamed me for the mess before leaving but in a loving way

- maci asked if my hair always looked Like That and i took a d12 of psychic damage before realizing i had hat hair

- i was in some weird space/regency drama and i was in love with my best friend in like. a very tender will-they-won’t-they sort of deal and we were JUST about to Finally Admit Our Feelings but then i was ordered by an evil space queen to be her surrogate since she and her husband couldn’t have a baby and she needed one and i was impregnated and had to move to this new planet and be her lady-in-waiting, forever doomed to never see my love again, but then when i was 5 months along, SHE fell in love with somebody else and had an affair and she DID get pregnant with a baby that was NOT her husband’s. and that was bad for me because i was only secretly pregnant, she was pretending SHE was pregnant and was going to take the baby and present it to her husband but then once she got actually pregnant she didn’t need me anymore BUT she couldn’t have me running around w another heir to the throne so it was VERY dicey and not looking good for me!!! and then my true love was coming to visit her because he was royalty from another space planet (i think maybe that’s why our love was forbidden in the first place??? he was above my station???) and he didn’t know why i had left him and it seemed that i had snubbed him and left him by my own choice to be, like, fucking this other space royal couple or some such??? i don’t remember exactly but it was all very heart wrenching and he was giving me all these betrayed heartbroken looks and like watching me be this queen’s right hand girl and wait on her hand and foot and he was so dismayed by me but he didn’t KNOW that i wasn’t there willingly and i was trying to send him psychic messages to SAVE ME but i wasn’t psychic so it didn’t help. and so i was going through this very intense struggle of, like, how do i save myself and raise this baby, the TRUE heir to the throne, on my own, whilst hiding from the queen AND pining over my lost love who thought i had left him for a chance at a cushy job in the queen’s court, without being found out and executed for treason??? and also there was some plot against my true love too that i knew about but i couldn’t get him to be alone w me so i could warn him. and i was six months pregnant and had to hide it behind space dresses. and his friends were mad at me too which was just. so hurtful. anyways i woke up before any of this could be resolved and it’s truly fucking killing me like what HAPPENED

- i was heading to and from high school by going over this one bridge. everyone rode motorcycles (ish, they were like. floating zoomer things) in a line and so commuters got to really interact. and this bridge was sacred to this one religion but it was an oppressed religion so most commuters just went over it all day long without paying any respect and got mad at ppl who tried to stop and pay their respects for this holy site. and i became buddies w some of the members of this religion and started to pay my respects to the holy bridge too

- i got to this building that had a train station and a bathroom and was on my commute to school. a bunch of kids from my HS were there and we all had to pee. the bathroom was huge but most of the stalls were broken and i kept letting ppl go ahead of me thinking i’d be able to use one of the other stalls, but then all the others were broken and i had to pee SO bad. somehow this was a plot specifically enacted by some of my classmates who were being dicks

- there was like a college cafeteria w different restaurant stations. i went to this section that i was not supposed to be allowed to go to and ordered off a secret menu and made friends w this one girl there and then the head chef of the secret menu. the menu’s background was a photo of my bedroom, and no one believed me

- my sister and i were eating and she had to go wash the dishes and she forgot some and i kept bringing them over to her but it was a race against time because i kept forgetting which ones were used and other ppl needed to use the tables and kept trying to eat off the dirty dishes and we were gonna get in trouble

- a boy from my grade school and i were secretly very close all throughout high school and we had just graduated and he was like. struggling a lot and his mom and sister were there but his mom wasn’t noticing that he was struggling and i was trying to help him but he was embarrassed by the way his mom was treating him and he kept running away. also i had given him a stuffed lion years before and he kept it even though i forgot about it

- my brother and my mom and i were swimming along these, like, tunnels and i kept riding on their backs and it was very fun. they were like merpeople almost?? i wasn’t

- i was in a club and i was trying to reach this person i was in love with but they kept being two floors away and i was having such a hard time climbing up to them and i’d get close and they’d have moved again

- there was a cafe and i was there with the marauders from harry potter and i think i was lily evans?? but we weren’t supposed to be in this cafe so we had to be hiding when the owners came through and be in disguises. and i couldn’t eat the sugar ???

anyways i think that’s all. then i woke up worried about my space baby and really wanting to read some jily fanfics.

[highlandflingstory]

Chapter 1: So Long London

Highland Fling

Chapter 1: So Long London

Chloe woke before dawn and dressed quietly, taking care not to wake her sleeping lover. As she closed the door and walked to her own room she had to stifle a giggle. Two different lovers in two successive nights? This was not the weekend she was expecting. But it was much, much better.

Thursday evening, two days earlier.

“The fucking scumbag did WHAT?” Even through text Emily’s anger on her friend’s behalf was palpable and Chloe would have loved her even more for it, if it was possible for her to love her best and oldest friend (occasionally with benefits) more than she already did.

Chloe’s boyfriend of 16 months had broken up her, had dumped her, earlier that day. The same day they were meant to be travelling north to Scotland together for Chloe to be a bridesmaid at her best friend’s wedding. Her plans of a romantic overnight train journey on the Deerstalker Express to a weekend long Highland castle wedding, where she would show off her handsome boyfriend had been crushed. And she was alone, forcing down tears in London’s bleakest train station surrounded the boozy Drink After Work crowd and the weary Working Late crowd all heading for a late train home. As she began to type a reply her suitcase toppled over with the weight of the dress carrier draped over the handle. She swore and choked back her anger and frustration; I will not waste tears over him.

Her phone buzzed with a new message from Emily before she could finish her response.

You remember me telling you that Cameron’s “uncle” James (not his actual uncle) was also getting the sleeper north? He’s on tonight’s train too. I’ve given him your number. He’s going to help get you on the train with your bags and stuff x

Buzz Oh btw I’m Not trying to set you up! He’s like 50 and just a really lovely guy. I’d trust him with the woman dearest to me on the planet x

Such an Emily thing to do. Practical, thoughtful, trying to fix everyone’s problems thought Chloe, forgiving her friend for making her feel like a kid who needed a responsible adult to put her on a train. Plus, she was exhausted. She had packed assuming she would have an extra pair of hands, even someone to watch the bags while she went for a snack or for a pee. She cursed herself for packing too much but in truth it was a three day wedding so two dress carriers for two formal dresses, a tote bag for travel essentials and suitcase crammed full of everything else was hardly excessive. It was that prick her ex’s idea to come up on the overnight sleeper, so he didn’t need to take a day of work. Just as she felt tears of anger and frustration welling her phone buzzed again

Unknown number: Chloe? It’s James, Cammy’s friend. Hope you don’t mind but Emily gave me your number and thought you might want a friendly face amongst the drunks at Euston. I’m outside WH Smith. The guy with the beard. And the bags!

That was where Chloe was. She turned and saw a man with a silvery beard scanning the crowd, suit carrier draped over suitcase, like her. He was tall and rangy; his tousled hair more grey than brown, wearing a tweed jacket with jeans a patterned scarf. He had a look of a University professor, or History teacher in a TV drama. 

She messaged back “Spotted ;-)“ and waved as she walked toward him.

“Ms Green I presume?” he said with a broad, open smile, “James Ferguson, at your service. Can I help with your bag?” he paused for her nod before lifting her suitcase. “We’re just about to board. Platform 2. Shall we, or do you want to pick anything in the station first? I was in M&S when I got Emily’s message anyway so I took the liberty of buying an extra bottle of water and chocolate and snacks for the train in case you hadn’t had the chance. I’ll admit to being a big fan of a midnight feast on the sleeper. Particularly partial to a Percy Pig at Crewe. But please don’t tell anyone, it would destroy any lingering street cred I may still have.”

Chloe’s eyes moistened at his thoughtfulness and attempts to lighten her mood. He knew the circumstances in which they were meeting, of course Ems would have told tell him. But he was too kind to say. “Traveled on the sleeper before?” he continued, talking to put her at ease.

“No, never been to Scotland before.”

“Really? Well I hope you enjoy your first trip on the Deerstalker and you have a lovely time in my old country.”

Despite everything Chloe still felt a thrill as they approached the platform, tickets clutched in her hand. In a few minutes she would be shown to her berth, where she would close the door and then that tiny cabin would be hers, her private space for the next twelve hours, to read and sleep, maybe play a little, and she could picture herself as a glamourous character from an Agatha Christie novel, maybe a young heiress or a spy, a femme fatale on the run.

They were greeted on the platform where a cheerful Steward liveried in dark green with a turban and meticulously combed whiskers asked for their names to check against his clipboard. “Coach G for you Sir, your cabin is roughly in the middle. Now Miss, you’re in coach A, the seated coach just here.”

“What? A seated coach? Not a cabin?” Chloe stared at her ticket, realised how little her boyfriend had paid for the tickets and for the first time looked at more than just the departure time. Seat 6A & 6B. Economy. Seats. No mention of a sleeping cabin.  The final insult, she had told him she wanted a cabin with a bed and the cheapskate had bought them the cheapest tickets available. “The Bastard!” she thought before realising she had spoken aloud.

Both men shuffled and kept a polite silence.

“Will you help me to my seat James?” She said in a flat voice.

“It’s not bad.” The seat was comfortable, she would have been delighted to relax in it for a journey of a couple of hours. But as fellow travellers streamed in it felt very far away from her vision of sleeping in a proper bed in a cosy, private sleeping cabin. It was much more like the 10AM to Reading than Orient Express. “it’s Fine. I’m tired. I should get to sleep.”   

“Chloe. Listen. Let’s swap. You can’t spend the night on a seat. For someone young like you this would be OK to Edinburgh. But we’re going all the way to Inverness. That’s a twelve hour journey. Emily will need you tomorrow, there’s bound to be lots of last minute things to do and people to organise. You need to be rested for that. I’ll kip here. I can sleep anywhere. Really. It’s embarrassing. I can sleep on the Tube. And all I really need to do tomorrow is just not be the most annoying middle aged uncle type at a rehearsal dinner. Even I should be able to manage that on a couple hours sleep.”

“That’s very kind. But I can’t. My mess. My useless, selfish prick of an ex. Not your problem.”

He winced. “Seriously. Think about it. Let me buy you drink in the lounge car and promise me you’ll consider it.”

She nodded then looked at her bags in the open carriage. “But I can’t leave all my …”

“Come to my cabin and we’ll dump our bags, lock the door, and get a stiff drink. Deal?”

*****************

They sat across from each other, watching the London suburbs slip past, red roofs and church steeples giving way to fields and canals as they sipped gin and whisky. She felt little emotion as she left the city she had lived in for the last five years behind. They shared stories of Emily and Cameron, she found out he had been Cameron’s mentor at his first job in investment banking / at the Business School of LSE, where he still taught part time, along with vague consultancy work for financial services firms that was well paid but dull not worthy of spoiling good conversation by dwelling on. He lived in Greenwich but now his only son was at Uni he was thinking of changing career and leaving London, perhaps to move home to Scotland.

He told her he had planned to travel up with one of Cameron work friends which explained the bunk bed style cabin she had seen when they deposited their bags but the friend had cancelled last minute as “something had come up at work” and he would fly up direct to Inverness on Saturday morning. “His loss. I’m looking forward to tomorrow, exploring the castle they’ve hired and getting to know Cameron and Emily’s family better.

She told him of her job in recruitment but her true passion was travel and that she dreamed of becoming a travel writer of nonfiction for adults and adventure stories about spies and night trains for kids. He gave her a look that she couldn’t decipher and said that sounded rather wonderful and she should do it.  She told him about her loveable but flaky roommate Hannah and how she missed being close to Emily, her friend since 15, and as the early Spring evening slipped into night they talked of books that had moved them and cities they loved and places they wanted to go. He listened well, laughed easily, and spoke with passion about what he knew and with thoughtfulness of things he didn’t.

He was an ideal travelling companion but as the night wore on Chloe realised how weary she was.

“I better try and get some sleep. I’m not going to make it to midnight and share your feast. You sure it’s OK to leave my suitcase and dresses in you cabin?”

She cursed the ex one more time and slung her tote bag over her shoulder.    

“I’d rather you were there with them. The offer stands.”

“Thank you but I just need to Woman Up, use the complimentary ear plugs and push though. Goodnight!”

When she opened the door to the sleeping carriage the noise of snoring hit her first, but shortly after the low chatter of several couples who thought they were whispering and finally the tinny sound of music being played through earphones. It was louder than the lounge car. Fuck. This.

She came back to find him sitting where she left him. He reached into his pocket and handed her his First Class Ticket. “No arguments.”

“On one condition; we share. There’s a difference between chucking you out of your cabin and me taking a bed that’s going to be empty all the way to Inverness. And I trust you are a gentleman and don’t take that as an invitation to anything.”

“Done and of course. You do not need to ask.”

****

She got ready for bed while he nursed his drink waiting for her text that she was decent and he could come in. As she removed her make up in the little mirror she appraised her newly single self and saw with satisfaction that her hair had kept it’s shape nicely from this afternoons cut, loose dark curls tumbling down just past her shoulders.

She wished she was two inches smaller and considered petite and cute. Or two inches taller and thought of as tall and willowy. But no; she was stuck in the in-between space of unremarkable. Too small to be leggy and elegant, too big to be adorable and doll like. A dress size smaller, maybe even two would be perfect but she was sick of dieting and at 27 had learned to accept this was her size and it was hard enough to keep it never mind go one down. Her bum was too big and her tits too small but with carefully chosen clothes she could pass and entice a lover to get close enough to see her best features, her soft brown eyes framed with natural long thick lashes. She might have inherited her pale skin and her name from her kind, conventional English grandmother, but those eyes and lashes and hips were all from her wild, bohemian, Egyptian teta.

She ruefully slipped on the silk pyjamas she had packed especially for this trip. They had been a Christmas gift from her mother and immediately put aside for this trip where she hoped they would have been removed by a boyfriend who couldn’t keep his hands off her. Oh well, best laid plans. But at least they felt luxurious against her skin and a little bit of the feeling of being a glamourous heroine from another age returned.

She climbed up to the top bunk of the little cabin, pulled the covers over her and texted James it was safe to come back. She opened her book to read but closed her eyes for a moment and was sound asleep with the rocking of the train before he tiptoed back to the room.

****

She lay still as “You awake?”

“Yeah. Just woke.”

“Where are we?”

“Just north of Perth I think. The train splits there. It would have been the jolt that woke us both. You get some sleep?”

“I slept like a log. Thank you so much James. I feel like a different woman. I don’t know how I would have coped on a seat for so long.”

They talked for a while and decided to enjoy the journey rather than try to get back to sleep [re write]

“Do you mind if I climb down and sit with you? Feels odd speaking to a disembodied voice.”

She on his bed cross legged in her glamourous PJs as they watched dawn break over the moors and glen of the Scottish highlands. They sat together as the wild scenery spooled past, James occasionally pointing out some sights and she was proud to spot a lone deer bound away from the train just north of Kinguisse. North of Aviemore, where the slopes were thickly forested, she talked of the similarities and differences between the Highlands and the New Forest, her playground growing up and then of her last trip home, by train, with the ex who shall not be named and she stopped talking as the wound burst open.

And then tears came. And once the dam was broken they came in a flood, her shoulders heaving, hot tears running down her face. She cursed that she wasn’t pretty when she cried but he just pulled her into his chest with both arms and held her there, gently stroking her back and saying comforting words in a low voice. Chloe didn’t register what he said the sound of his voice was a soothing balm.

 “I’m sorry. You turn up at Euston expecting a relaxing journey north only to play babysitter to a pathetic mess of a girl who crashes your cabin then has a breakdown.”

“I’ve found you a wonderful travelling companion. I’ve had a much better journey than I expected. And don’t apologise. I’ve had my heart broken. I know how it feels. It gets easier.”

“That’s the worst though. I’m not heart broken. Not really. I liked him, at his best he was fun. But I think I liked the idea of him more than the reality. And I think I knew I didn’t love him. I just thought it would be lovely to have a boyfriend for Emily’s wedding, not always be the pathetic single girl in her late 20s having to answer all the usual questions and make some half-hearted attempt with the single guys. Urgh. I’m more humiliated than heart broken.”

He was stroking her hair now. God it felt good. She lifted her head slightly to fit in the hollow just below his shoulder, her eyes level with his mouth. And it was a very kissable mouth.

“Well almost no one knows me at this thing. I only know Cam and Emily really well. I can be your date if you like.”

“God that’s tempting James, but no. Emily would know. I don’t want to fool her and it’s not like she can’t keep a secret but…”

“It would just draw more attention. Understood. But if you are feeling awkward or want to escape a conversation quickly then catch my eye and scratch your right ear with your left hand. I’ll come right over. Deal?”

“Deal,” she looked up for the first time since the tears had come. “Thank you James. You don’t need to do all this you know. I realise it might not look like it but I’m not usually a total mess. I’m actually quite together. You don’t need to feel obliged to stop the crazy girl from the train making a scene at our friends wedding.”

“I know. It’s not like that. It’s not pity. I kinda like you. A bit flaky at the moment maybe but with good reason. You’re interesting. And kinda cute.”

He kissed her forehead and Chloe felt a ripple of electricity through her body. She lifted her face till there was only millimetres between their lips and looked into his eyes, blue with light brown flecks that looked almost golden in the morning light.

Their foreheads touched and she held her breath waiting. Then the silence was broken by an announcement in a flat monotone: “We are now approaching Inverness. Inverness next station where this train terminates. Please remember to take all you belongings with you when leaving the train. Inverness in five minutes. Thank you for travelling on the Caledonian Sleeper”. She ducked her head away from him and gathered her belongings, cursing the timing of the announcement.

On the platform she instinctively took his hand as she carefully folder her dressed over his arm and they walked hand in hand pulling their suitcases toward the taxi rank, his thumb idly stroking her hand. She saw Emily bobbing on the balls of her feet scanning the crowd, Cameron at her side. She let go of James’s hand, dropped her case and ran screaming into the arms of her closest friend.

[ruffianblue]

"I think I've fallen in love this time; I blinked and suddenly I have a Valentine."

We had a lot of good times together. We have inside jokes and things that seem fun only to us. (shaft no.7)

I'll never forget that day when I went to your place and and I nearly cried because it hurt so much and it was my first time; but you were gentle and said it would be all right, so I believed you, and you said "remember to pee", and I said "you're so nice" because I naive and expected less than the bare minimum.

I'll never forget when I had a migraine at Ocean Park and you made me go on a rollercoaster with you even though I didn't want to, but I did anyway because I didn't want to spoil the mood; I threw up after, once in the toilet of the restaurant after the Thai dinner that you paid for, and then again in the toilet of the train station at Admiralty. I had no water and no painkillers and I felt sick; yet I still tried to eat some apple mints so my breath wouldn't smell disgusting, and you kissed me like that would magically cure me of my pain. I said "I'll go buy some Panadol", and you said "can it wait, you're nearly home anyway". I would have bought Panadol and water and paid for a taxi to bring my friend home. Would you do that for me?

Things I wish I didn't know about you:

That you take drinks from the office; that you like VLT; that you have expired Vodka in the fridge; that you rotate between banks for the best cashback; that you have a pair of underwear that has a hole in it; that you used to have flowery bedsheets because your mum made you bring it and you turn the pillows over so the blue side faces up; that you used to dry your hands with a cloth towel but put out paper towels when I'm over; that you like mussels; that you'll eat my mussels for me; that you'll make me eat the salad I leave on the plate; that you'll remind me to pee every time after we do it; that you pick at scabs because you like seeing the blood come out; that you like Haribo Starmix sweets; that you'll try to take candid photos of me from the most unflattering angles and then tell me you like them; that two movies have made you cry; that you tell me to smile with my teeth instead of hiding my braces; that you'll carry my handbag for me; that you call me bb; that you have random tiny stains on your shirt that you've never been able to get out; that you're using the mooncake box I gave you to hold the tickets and receipts from places we go to; that you still haven't fixed your leaky air conditioner; that you like cars; that you like planes; that you like container ships; that you think slapping a filter on will save a bad photo; that you cry easily; that your penis is curved; that you run up the stairs to the train station every day; that you're almost always late for work; that you spend hours scrolling on social media; that you feel lonely; that the first words you said to me were "burning the midnight oil?"; that you were my first boyfriend and the boy I lost my virginity to; that we never made it past my birthday.