#and then say he's villain coded. like lol. i laugh. i know it's probably different sets of people for the most part but yeah | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shurisneakers · 3 years

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harmless (xiii)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader)

Warnings: cursing, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, smidge of angst, guns, little bit of violence, obnoxious flirting, and kidnapping lol

Word count: 6.2k

A/N: welcome to chaos week >:) this is the first of three updates coming out this week (if i can finish the last one in time). big thank you to my love @no-shit-sherl0ck for the kidnaped!reader idea, and that one anon who suggested the inator that’s used here. i know you wanted to see it in a zoo but i couldn’t really figure out a way to use that so i referenced it a bunch in previous chapters. oh and also @ginevranights for this specific imagery

Previous Part || Series Masterlist

Who the fuck kidnaps a villain in this day and age?

Saturday started normally enough.

Nat kicked Bucky’s ass in training, evening the score to 120 and 120. He blames it on the lack of sleep. She tells him that it’s his fault he stayed up late to binge watch 911 Lone Star.

He still thinks it was worth it.

The team’s sunshines and rainbows that morning. Someone had cooked up a batch of pancakes and fresh orange juice. Someone else burnt the bacon but left to feed his dog before anyone could complain.

Nat opened up the newspaper. Different sections went to different people until Bucky got stuck with the entertainment section. Fun, considering that he doesn’t even recognise half the names. He’d have to pretend to be interested until the next rotation.

He watches the orange juice levitate in front of him from the corner of his eye and just assumes that Wanda’s getting a refill even though she could have just asked him to pass it. He smells the next batch of bacon burning and figures that Clint is back.

Sam’s beside him, annoying him about how long it takes for him to read about which new celebrity relationship just ended and Bucky retaliates by reading even slower. Fuck you.

He’s on his second stack of pancakes absolutely drenched in maple syrup when the doors to the elevator open and Marie steps out, laptop in her hand.

An instant chorus of hello’s and invitations to have some charred bacon resound through the table. She politely declines them with a small smile, instead opening her laptop and placing it in front of Bucky without further ado.

He looks at her questioningly, slowly swallowing whatever was in his mouth.

“An email for you.” She tuts her head towards it. “It has a video attachment of your friend.”

Bucky has plans to not watch the video in front of everyone, given that the content could range anywhere from you reading out fanfiction about him to a deep-fake of him singing a Whitney Houston song.

Both of which you have done before and would do again, without any hesitation.

“Aren’t you gonna watch it?” Wanda asks from across the table.

He slowly shakes his head no, cutting his stack into smaller pieces.

“If what’s in it is real, it’s important,” Marie stresses.

“What’s in it?” he inquires instead, hoping that the team would stop staring at him. If Marie was implying strongly that he needed to watch then something was wrong.

“Just watch it, man.” Sam’s statement has everyone agreeing with him. Bucky can’t refuse now, and if the team makes fun of him for the next month about how he looks good belting Greatest Love of All, he’s going to personally assassinate you.

He clicks on the email, noticing it came from a throwaway address. Probably untraceable, if the cards are played right.

The video opens to grainy footage, which is stupid considering modern technological advancements. If this is one more of your stupid LARPing sessions, it could definitely wait till after lunch.

But, he instantly recognises your silhouette strapped to a chair and suddenly the room feels very cold around him. His hand automatically clutches onto a bead from the bracelet you gave him that still remained tied to his left arm more often than not.

“Speak,” someone commands off camera.

“About what?” You sound annoyed, exasperated even.

“Why you’re here.”

“I’m here because you have unaddressed feelings of childhood insecurity.”

“I warned you to take this seriously.”

Bucky’s eyes widen slightly but his body relaxes the minute he reads the situation.

The team’s crowded around him, he can feel it. His attention remains on the screen in front of him.

“Who even are you sending this to?” You don’t sound the least bit threatened. “My roommate’s not at home but my cat is and I don’t think she’d care.”

”You’ve made a complete joke out of villains everywhere. Fraternising with the enemies, the Avengers,” he spits the name with so much vitriol. “You’ve erased what it’s like to be truly evil. Turned us into a laughing stock.”

“If it takes one person to undermine your whole movement then maybe it wasn’t strong enough to begin with.” You look at someone outside the lens, face scrunching in distaste. “Also your costume’s ugly.”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., can you trace this voice?” Bucky asks, receiving an immediate confirmation. “Figure out who it is.”

“On it.”

“Tell them. Tell them we are a serious threat and are to be feared.”

"No,” you say resolutely. “You’re an overgrown manchild. Go watch Teletubbies or something.”

“She does not give a shit,” Clint marvels at the situation, a piece of half eaten burnt toast between his fingers.

You didn’t. And if he knew you in the slightest, which he prided himself on at this point, you already had six different ways of getting out of there.

“She knows she’s going to be fine,” Bucky murmurs, returning back to take a bite of his pancakes. “She’s probably still there just to irritate him.”

He zeroes in on your wrist to see if the teleportation watch was still there but no, your wrists are bare. Guess you forgot.

“You have to.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s how a real villain does it.”

“A real villain- what are you, gatekeeping the villain community?” You scoff. “You sound like a fuckin’ incel.”

“Just send them a message,” the guy bellows, hitting a table.

“She’s going to frustrate them to death.” An accurate observation, Sam.

“Okay, jeez, fine.”

Bucky just knows that you rolled your eyes at that moment.

He had faith in you, or in your abilities at the very least. While every wisecrack could possibly inch you closer towards harm, you probably wouldn’t be making them unless you felt completely secure in your situation.

“Help, I’m totally kidnapped and in danger. Save me because I can’t do it myself. This man is too powerful and strong and sooo scary.”

“Do you think she has a strategy?”

“Definitely.”

“You’re not worried, James?” Wanda asks curiously. “I thought she was your friend.”

“She is my friend.” He reaches over to take the jug of orange from across the table. “That’s why I’m not worried.”

“Are you going to fight the Avengers?” you interrupt his endless tirade. “Because that’s a stupid plan. You get how that’s a stupid plan, right?”

“Let them come. I’m prepared.”

“With what? A stick you found outside? A Nerf gun? Man, you’ve tied my hands with fuckin’ zip ties, you can’t be serious-”

“Shut up,” he roared and the stand shakes slightly from where he stamps his feet. “Our army is enough.”

“Wow,” you exhale. “I wish I had your confidence, I really do. I want to study you under a microscope.”

“I have reinforcements.” It sounds like he turns to the camera to address it directly. “This is a warning. Your friends have an hour to find you or things are gonna turn ugly. This is what real evil looks like.”

“Evil dresses in a dollar store Speedo, apparently.” The man pays you no heed, instead picking up the camera. “Hey, sarge, if you’re watching this, don’t bother. I’m fine, it’s not even the real me-”

The camera cuts to black.

“When was this video sent?” Nat looks at Marie, eyebrows drawn together.

“About ten minutes ago.”

Bucky clicks out of the email, determined to get at least half his breakfast in him before he left to see what’s up with your situation. A notification pops up immediately.

[email protected] just sent you an email.

A video attachment.

“We got another one,” Bucky informs the team, drawing their attention back to the screen from the informal conversation that had erupted between them about what they could do.

This time, there’s a subject line included.

Attack on the Clone.

"Ain’t that a Star Wars movie?" he asks, craning his neck to look at Clint.

"That's Attack of the Clones," Sam corrects. "Probably autocorrect."

Bucky narrowed his eyes in suspicion at him, jaw sliding outward before falling back into place. Enough times had Sam called him Fucky in the group chat and gotten away with it for him not to be wary.

“Or a code,” Wanda suggests, too many crime thrillers read and podcasts listened in her spare time. She occasionally brought them over to Self Care Saturday, introducing him to the world of true crime as a bit of light content while they snacked on chocolate chip cookies he baked. “Like the Zodiac.”

“For what?” Bucky peers over at her.

“All I remember from that movie is them rolling around a field together,” Clint mutters. “Maybe that’s how you’re supposed to save her.”

“I’m not saving anyone. Look at her, she’s fine.” Is he the only one who saw it?

When he’s met with skeptical looks and no other useful suggestions, he presses play on the video.

This time it's clearer footage. It hardly takes him a second to ascertain where it was.

"That's her lair." It showed the pathway leading up to the flat concrete building, exactly where the intercom should be.

There was a black Sedan parked haphazardly outside, engine still on judging by the sound of the radio blasting an AC/DC song.

Within a few seconds, someone drags you from the entrance of the lair to the car, despite your very clear protests and opposition, shoving you inside before it takes off in full speed, tires screeching.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., track the car from that video. Check all the CCTV and surveillance footage from around the area that you can find," Bucky commands, taking a sip of orange juice.

"Why would they send us that?" Clint pipes up. "They make their email untraceable but send us a video of the fuckin' abduction itself?"

"I don't know." Bucky shakes his head, setting his glass down. "She probably convinced them to."

It was an unusual scenario, he realised that. But his eyebrows lower in contemplation, his lip caged between his lip before a thought suddenly occurs to him. A laugh in disbelief almost escapes his throat ad he pushes it down with some freshly cut strawberries.

"And they listened?"

"I don't think you realise how annoying she can be." He knows, though. He knows. "Bet they regret it, though. I should tell them to keep her for a little longer."

"Voice recognition registers voice to someone named Chad, better known by his alias Soul Crusher. Surveillance footage places the car about thirty minutes away. Exact location sent to your phone GPS."

Soul Crusher. That was worse than Dr. Strange.

"I can make that fifteen." Bucky shrugs, setting down his fork and knife. If his hunch is right, the team didn’t really have to get involved. “See you guys later.”

“Do you want any of us coming with you?” Wanda gestures to the crowd at hand.

“I got it.” He pushes away from the table, depositing his plate in the sink, dropping an extra piece of bacon on the ground for Clint’s dog. “She’ll be alright.”

They watch him trail out of the room briskly, heading up to his room to change.

“Is it just me or is he too casual about this?” Clint continues staring long after he leaves.

“Both of them are weirdos.” Nat pulls open the newspaper again, going back to the sport’s section. “Who knows what goes in their heads.”

“Can confirm that not a lot goes on in his.”

Without Bucky to retaliate or grumble, a Steve walking into the room, sweaty and shiny after training becomes the new subject of jokes that morning.

For the first time in months, he’s had to bring a weapon or two along with him. Two revolvers and a couple of knives kept out of plain view. He wouldn’t need more than that anyway.

True to his word, it takes only fifteen minutes to get there, thirteen if he didn’t stop for the chain of ducks that crossed the street.

He’s also dressed in a little more leather than he usually reserves for your meetings. A jacket that brings to act as a windbreaker and tightly laced up combat boots make him look like he either stepped off a runway, or more menacing than usual depending on who was looking.

The GPS points him to an old warehouse near a more subdued part of the city. It was abandoned by the looks of it, and had been for a while judging by the lack of upkeep. Prime real estate.

He pulls off his helmet, hanging it on the handlebar along with his backpack before kicking the stand into place. The bike’s a few metres away just in case they decide to blow something up.

Bucky looks up at the warehouse, assessing the most damage he could do to it if at all it was needed. That thing could barely stand on its own, a grenade would absolutely decimate it. That wasn’t good news for you.

He sighs once before putting on his death glare, straightening out his shoulders into a stature that screams stone-cold, and pushes the door open, gun raised.

A mini-army of people ranging from their early twenties to late thirties stood guard at the entrance, all with rifles pointed at him. He counts fifteen, maybe eighteen.

“Oh, hell no,” a voice erupts from the back, followed by the sound of his gun being thrown to the ground. “No one told me that he was coming.”

Bucky raises an eyebrow, his death glare not shifting and Glock not lowering.

“I’m out.” The same guy raises his hands up to show he meant no harm, slowly brushing past Bucky as he squeezed out of the building.

“You got five seconds to leave before I shut this door,” Bucky gives the rest of them an ultimatum. Not like there was a point anyway. SHIELD was sending down some people to account for the one day rise in new morons.

They all looked at each other, swallowing thickly before raising their weapons.

“I hope he’s giving you good insurance.” The second he finishes his sentence they all cry out in what sounds like a fucking war chant, launching themselves at him.

______

“They’re here.” Someone presses his ear to the door as if the gunshots and screaming weren’t enough.

“Brilliant. We’re ready.” Chad picks up the knife, running his finger along the sharp end. You try to see if you can use your Twitter-ordained powers of manifestation for a paper cut.

“How much are you asking them for?” You put forth a query instead, when it disappointingly doesn’t work.

“Asking who for what?” Chad stops his dumb intimidation tactic for a second.

“You know,” you insist like it was obvious, “my ransom. How much did you ask them to pay?”

“We didn’t-” He looks around at the other people in the room for confirmation. “-we didn’t ask for any.”

“Because I’m invaluable?” Your head droops to the side in mock flattery. “Aw, you guys.”

“We didn’t think of it,” someone from the corner behind you speaks up, coming to the aid of their boss.

“Now that’s just rude.” You tut, shifting maybe an inch or two in your bounds to try and get more comfortable. “Leaving aside your lack of preparation, let’s just assume he bursts in here, desperate and ready to bargain. How much would you ask for?”

“Three million,” Chad says confidently, gathering a nod and sounds of agreement from everyone else.

“Are you serious?” Your jaw drops, a scoff escaping you. “That’s all?”

His self-assurance falters a little bit, you can see it under his 5 Minutes Craft mask.

“Three mill-” You stop mid-sentence. “With this wiring? Ridiculous. Make it ten, I demand it.”

“We’ll ask for fifteen mil,” Chad proposes, his teammates agreeing again, a little more delighted than last time.

“Ask for thirty, you coward,” you argued. “Thirty million and a jet.”

“You’re not worth that much.” The dipshit diagonal to you pipes up with his unwanted and, frankly, useless opinion.

“And you are?” You whip around the best you can. “Henchman number four?”

“Megedagik,” he informs, standing up a little taller now that he was given some importance. “It means ‘killer of many’.”

“Did you just say your name was Mega Dick?”

“Megedagik,” he corrects.

You stare at him hard before turning away. “Alright, other than Mega Dick here, does anyo-”

A knife lands right next to your feet, driven at least an inch into the ground. You look up at the guy you managed to piss off within four sentences, his face now a beet red.

“These are brand new, asshole,” you barked, shaking your shoes around. “You’re gonna pay if there’s even a scratch on it.”

“Permission to kill her?” Meg growls, casting a side eye at Chad.

The boss man looks at you thoughtfully, assessing the repercussions of what might happen. You raise an eyebrow.

“Slow and painful,” he settles.

A small smirk makes its way onto your face.

“Title of your sex tape,” you quip as the man in the corner storms towards you.

_____

It’s all a flurry, really. A bunch of inexperienced newcomers versus one of the most skilled assassins the world had ever seen? Ten minutes tops.

Bucky doesn’t do any serious damage. A couple of broken bones but only out of necessity, a lot of concussions, and maybe a bullet wound, or three, here and there.

Most of the time he spends thinking about things that have absolutely nothing to do with what was going on. He forgot to take his laundry out of the machine. There was a biscotti recipe he had been procrastinating on trying. His succulents needed watering but he could do that once he was back. Was he wearing his good combat pants or was it the pair that had a hole in the pocket?

His left hand thrust outwards to shove someone away while he stuck his right hand into his pocket to check if it had frayed away. The person he pushed slams into a wall with a loud groan and no, his pants didn’t have a hole in them.

He stops to take a breather, assess what was going on. There are bodies scattered all around, mostly writhing in pain from minor injuries. Someone very bravely stands up, hands posed in front of him in a regular fighting stance.

“You sure about this?” Bucky asks, reaching for one of the concealed knives he hadn’t had a chance of using yet. It twirls rather nimbly between his fingers for something so dangerous, the hilt finally landing in his palm for a sturdy grip.

The man takes one look at the knife before sitting right back down on the ground.

“Good choice,” his voice drops to an octave lower than his self-esteem. He’s tired of this old routine but it works like a neat little party trick, often getting him the result he wanted. “Where?”

A few fingers point down the hall to the only room whose door was closed.

He makes sure to step over everyone who was lying along the way, ears tuned in to even the smallest of noises just in case one of them decided to attack him from the back. It doesn’t come.

He doesn’t bother creeping down the hallway. With all the ruckus that just went on outside, he’s pretty sure it’s obvious that they had an intruder.

Bucky kicks in the large steel door with ease, given that it was barely hanging on its hinges. His gun’s raised, muscles tight, and senses on high alert for any immediate threats.

It lands with a large thud, reverberating through the room. He’s reminded of your first meeting with him.

There’s a chair in the middle of the room with a person tied to it by a mixture of rope and tape. Others found themselves slithering around on the floor in a similar fashion, trying to get out of their bondages.

“Hey, James,” you call out, drawing his attention to you. You were sitting atop a table, legs swinging back and forth without a care in the world, a blade in your hand.

“You okay?” He tucks the gun into his waistband when he realises that none of the henchmen are going to be going anywhere soon.

“All good.” You hop off the table with a little spring in your step. “Did you bring your bike? I need a ride back to the lair. I think I left the TV on when I was, you know, getting kidnapped.”

“You coulda teleported back home before all of this even happened.” Bucky does a quick assessment of your body to make sure there weren’t any bruises or anything of the sort. “Avoided the whole thing.”

“Don’t have the watch with me.” Odd, since he knows you consider it one of your essentials but it just fuels his theory further. “Besides, if I just quit before we started, they’d keep messing with me over and over again.”

“Do you want me to punch someone’s face in?” He glances around the room at the ones wiggling about on the floor like fucking worms. “I’d be happy to.”

“Nah, I got a few in myself.” You rotate your wrist, other hand still holding onto the knife. “You know what, maybe I’ll have another go.”

He simply makes a noise in acknowledgement before he places a hand on the hem of your shirt, gently reeling you back. “I think you fixed ‘em up real good. That’s enough for today.”

“Fine but only ‘cause you said so.” You huff, looking past him and at the weirdos on the ground. “You hear that? This man just saved your life. Say ‘thank you’.”

A muffled chorus of what sounded like appreciation echoed through the room. Bucky awkwardly looks around.

“Damn right.” You walk over to the guy in charge of the whole event, bending down to his level. “If you ever try to fuck with us again...”

You stare straight into his eyes, unblinking. You hold up the knife to his Adam’s apple. Chad doesn’t dare to move other than the thick swallow.

You raise your finger and flick him in the forehead. “Get a better costume.”

The corner of Bucky’s lip quirks upward.

“Let’s go, sarge,” you announce, standing upright again and making a motion to follow you. “D’you have an extra helmet I could use?”

“Yeah.” He had brought one along in his bag, assuming that you’d need one once he noticed the watch was missing in the footage.

“Yay.”

The only storage space on his bike was under his seat and it’s just enough for an extra revolver. Clint asked him if it was his way of flirting with someone, give ‘em a quick spin around the city and then show them his gun. If looks could kill, Clint would be 7 feet under.

“You sure you wanna ride it, though?” He cringes immediately when he realises what it sounds like, waiting for you to smack the innuendo in his face. “We could wait for SHIELD.”

“Don’t really have another choice, Bucky,” you say absentmindedly, strolling out the room as you tossed the knife behind you.

He frowns at your indifference but turns around for a second to look at Chad. The man in question looks back viciously, his grandeur from that morning basically deflated and left to die along with his reputation.

“Might wanna reconsider the name,” Bucky remarks, doing a quick sweep of the area once more. “Soul Crusher.”

He waits until both of you are outside the cell and the door is shut on the ringleader and his circus clowns, handlebar twisted out of place so that they don’t escape for the time being.

“One second,” he calls, touch gently lingering on your forearm to stop you without even thinking twice about it. A famously uncharacteristic move for him.

"Hm?” You don’t even look like you notice his action.

“You sure you’re good?” he asks seriously, actual concern slipping through the question. “Do you need medical assistance?”

“They couldn’t hurt me anyway.” There’s something strange about the way you say it, almost assuredly. “I’m good.”

“Okay,” he concedes, his hand darting back when he realises it was still on your arm. His eyebrows furrow when he realises how instinctively he had reached out in the first place. He didn’t touch anyone, ever.

“What are we gonna do about them?” you inquire, stepping over someone on the floor to get to the exit.

“Marie told Agent Hill. They’re sending someone over.”

“They’re sending SHIELD for these wannabes?” Someone groans in protest from somewhere and you elect to ignore them. “Ew.”

“Just to make sure confidential information isn’t compromised in any way.” There’s a large bang that comes from the room they just left. Maybe one of them shot their teammate by accident. They were more than capable of doing it.

“I would never,” you exacted a little more solemnly, pushing the door open with your elbow to let the sunlight flood in.

“I know.” He doesn’t realise how dark it was in the warehouse until he steps out into the noon sun. “I’m pretty sure this is more about the fact that you were abducted.”

“For me?” The smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes the way he kinda likes. Something definitely felt off. “I love being class favourite.”

He doesn’t reply, a small grunt as he twists the handle of the warehouse door upwards, effectively jamming it.

“Can I drive?” You bat your eyelashes at him innocently, disregarding the loud screaming that came from inside as those less injured probably regrouped for a last ditch attempt.

“No,” he doesn’t hesitate in replying, handing you a helmet and buckling his own securely.

“But I just got kidnapped,” you complained, watching him swing a leg over the bike and straddle it. Okay then.

“All the more reason for you not to drive right now.” He mentions for you to get on, squinting at the warehouse a few feet away.

“Fine, but next time I’m driving,” you grumble, climbing on the back.

“Do you even know how to?” His head is tilted to look at you from the corner of his eye, voice heavier on account of the obstruction on his face.

The door starts shaking violently and he knows for a fact that it won’t hold up for much longer. Some of those who he had knocked out probably had been shaken awake again for manpower.

“I can learn.” You take a pause, mischief seeping into your next words. “You can teach me.”

“No.” He didn’t exactly practice what was considered safe, law abiding driving. He just got from one point to another and that’s all he cared about.

“Then I’ll do it myself.” You sound determined. “I’m going to leave a note for us in the lair.”

“You do that.” He revs the engine when something solid hits the metal door. As guessed, their usage of props to push it down faster was coming into play. “Now, can you hold on to something? We need to go.”

If only those idiots just realised that the windows covered by newspapers were right there, ready to be broken.

“Only if you promise to let me drive next time,” you say defiantly, drawing this whole ordeal out.

“Whatever,” he urges. “I promise. Now can we go?”

“Wait for it...” There’s a devilish smile on your face. “One.”

There’s a loud creak as the door finally gives way.

“Two.” The same people you left tied up in the room burst out, almost stumbling over each other in the process.

“Three,” he completes it on his own, not waiting for you to finish because God knows how long you’d stretch it out just for the drama.

Your excited screech of laughter as he narrowly misses a rod that gets thrown at him like a fucking javelin temporarily distracts him from the brain freeze he gets when your arms wind around his waist to hold yourself in place.

There’s angry screaming and bullets that whiz past in an attempt to get him to stop but a swift turn around a corner, pulling the both of you out of their sight is enough to get rid of them.

“We should get a few weapons and go back,” you yell over the wind rushing by, barely audible.

“You do that in your own free time,” he shouts in response, yanking you through narrower lanes and less popular streets.

“Maybe I will, you bore.”

Still, you shut up for the rest of the ride, only grumbling when he stops the bike to tell you that no, you cannot let go just because you want to throw your hands in the air like in the movies.

You hop off when he finally pulls up on the street outside your lair, adrenaline still pumping through your veins. He waits patiently as you unbuckle the helmet, switching off the engine.

“You gonna drop me off at my door too, now?” You snicker, fingers pulling off the helmet.

He looks at you for a second before dropping the kickstand into place and dismounting from the motorcycle.

“I was kidding.” You laugh, handing him your headgear that he shoves into his backpack.

“You’re pretty capable of gettin’ abducted along the way.” An absurd notion, considering it’s a short path from the road to the door.

“Oh, how chivalrous.” You let him tag along anyway, for his peace of mind.

“My ma didn’t expect any less.” A couple of sharp lessons from Winifred Barnes and Bucky was nothing short of a damn angel.

You knock on the door three times, crossing your arms over your chest as you waited.

“Aren’t you the one with the key?” Bucky questions, one hand on his waist.

The door swung open in the middle of his sentence revealing... you.

Another you.

“Nah, she has it.” Ex-Kidnapped-You raises your head in acknowledgement at Doorway-You.

“Ah.” He fucking knew it. An unnatural sense of smugness blossoms in his chest.

“Hey,” the both of you said at the same time.

Doorway-You looked way more relaxed, a little less grimy and dishevelled but exactly the same.

“Buck, I see you met my other half,” the you from the doorway greets him. “Or other whole, actually.”

“Sure did.” He sends a glance at Ex-Kidnapped-You.

“You can go on in. Big first day, huh?” Doorway-You refers to the you beside him.

“You wouldn’t believe,” Ex-Kidnaped-You mutters, pushing past the entrance and disappearing inside.

“She gonna be okay?” His gaze trails after your clone.

“Oh yeah, just needs to recharge.” You turn around to make sure she’s fine. “She’s made of some pretty strong carbon, technically almost indestructible.”

No wonder ‘you’ said they couldn’t hurt you.

“Heya, sarge.” You draw his attention back to you. “Always good to see you.”

“Can’t really say the same about you.”

“Ever the emotional repressor, Mr Barnes. I like this little leather show you got going, did ya wear it just for me?”

He shifts his balance to his other foot, feet slightly wide apart. “Take it that the clone machine finally worked?”

“I was in the middle of celebrating.” You sigh, recalling the events of that morning. “Teleported home for a second to get some champagne and when I came back she was gone.”

“Irresponsible.” He tsks, head shaking in disappointment.

“Sorry I didn’t take amateur kidnappers into account for my risk factor analysis, Bucky,” you shoot back, pressing on his name for added annoyance. “Anyway, I did the responsible thing. I sent all the evidence I had to you guys.”

“Real clever.” Bucky looks at you in dry amusement. “Attack on the clone? Really?”

“Hey, always make time for a good pun.” You finger gun, lopsided grin on your face. “Did the team like it?”

“They thought it was a typo.” Or a code. He really had Wanda to thank for his big revelation. “Your video didn’t help either.”

“Don’t tell me they couldn’t make out it was me.” You laugh, crossing your arms over your chest.

He doesn’t reply, pursing his lip inwards in sympathy, but more so to conceal a smile.

The happiness drops from your face slowly, horror taking its place. “Don’t tell me they couldn’t make out it was me.”

“Good job, your machine worked,” he adds helpfully.

“C’mon, there were so many differences,” you whine, the success of your endeavour the last thing on your mind.

“That is your literal clone,” he points out, only to see you- clone you- walk into the giant box in the corner of the room, bright green light emanating from it like a xerox machine.

“How could they not tell the original apart from a copy?” You look genuinely offended. Insane. “Not even Sam?”

“Guess you’re not unique enough.” A rise and fall of his shoulders signify his attitude towards this whole thing. “Think I like your copy better, too, actually.”

“You’re so mean.” You puff in disbelief. “I’m a 100% original. How many mad scientist teachers do you know?”

“Two.”

“I don’t mean now, that’s not even the-” You poke at his rock hard chest. “You are so much more annoying than when I first met you.”

He thinks it’s good relationship development.

“I have to deal with you every weekend.” He watches your finger drop from his chest. “Picked it up along the way.”

“Boo hoo, talking like you don’t have deep, deep feelings for me.” You roll your eyes. “I see right through you, Bucky Barnes.”

“Can you see the part that couldn’t give less of a shit?” He gestures to himself. “It’s all of it.”

“You think you’re such a comedian, huh?” You narrow your eyebrows. “How did you know she was a fake then, huh?”

Busted.

“Probably ‘cause you didn’t talk as much today,” he dodges. “Actually had some peace of mind for a change.”

“You knew before you got there, you liar.” You push past his fabrications. “You figured it out before everyone else.”

“You literally put it in the title.”

“Yeah, but the rest of the team saw it too.”

“Rest of the team didn’t know you were building a goddamn clone machine for months.”

“You remembered that?” You pulled away, palm over your heart. “Oh, sarge, you paid attention to me.”

His nose twitches.

“You said it, like, eight hundred times.” He could use both his hands to count the number of references you had offhandedly made in the last three weeks alone.

“Why'd you go save me when you knew it wasn't real?” you continue to challenge relentlessly, knowing fully well that he was fibbing.

“Because you fuckin’ peer pressured me. Had the whole team around me when you sent your little video during breakfast.”

“Just admit it,” you coo, ignoring all his justifications. “You noticed it was fake me right away but showed up anyway because you’re wildly in love with me.”

“No,” he says stiffly.

“No as in you won’t admit it you have a crush on me, or no as in you didn’t know it was fake me?”

There was no winning this.

“Good day to you.” He pulls the motorcycle helmet on to hide the expression that plain as day screamed the former of your two options.

“Also,” you bring up indignantly, “she even got to ride the fucking bike and I’ve been asking to drive it for months now!”

“We-” he chooses his words carefully. “-compromised.”

“Oh, you did?” Your voice lowers at the newfound information, interest piqued. “I’m gonna hold you to that then, whatever it is.”

“Doesn’t count.”

“Absolutely does,” you huff. “A promise is legally binding. Blue’s Clues taught me that.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

“You’re my knight in leathery armour,” you swoon, switching sides immediately, “Kinda.”

“See you next week,” he says in farewell, determined to leave before you made it worse. “Try not to get killed by then.”

“Why, so you can do it yourself? Protective much?” You pull him back when he starts walking away, laughing slightly. “Wait a second, you weirdo.”

He sighs, staying put anyway, arms crossed impatiently over his chest.

You pull out the pen tucked behind your ear and slowly tap him twice on each shoulder in a makeshift knighting ceremony. “For your sacrifice.”

He rolls his eyes at the ludicrousness, tongue clicking against the roof of his mouth.

You ignore his lack of enthusiasm, pressing your fingertips to your lips in a small kiss and then to his nose, given that it was the only part of his face you had access to.

“That was for your bravery.” You grin brightly at him and he sure as hell is glad he’s wearing the stupid helmet because he can feel his cheeks light up a bright crimson.

“Thanks.” His voice sounds gruffer than a second ago. He clears his throat.

“Now you’re my knight in leathery armour,” you fawn, nearly falling over yourself dramatically. “Let’s ride into the sunset together. I love you.”

“You’re ridiculous,” he calls out over his shoulder, turning away to return to his bike. “I despise you.”

“But you don’t.”

He really didn’t.

also i managed to fuck my phone up really bad so all proceeds from my ko-fi go towards getting it fixed

Next part

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #mcu fic #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fluff #bucky angst #bucky barnes angst #harmless fic #winter soldier x reader #Winter Soldier #bucky barnes #bucky

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deepspacedukat · 2 years

Note

I do really want to know your reasoning on the Cardassians because sometimes I just go ✨PRETTY✨ and have absolutely no other thoughts. It’s a little embarrassing.

But also, if you were stuck somewhere for like a year who would you pick to live with from Trek and why? I’m picking Jadzia, Kira, Dr. Bashir, and Rom. Also Garak because then I could learn how to sew better.

-Horta-in-Charge

Look, honestly, sometimes the ✨pretty✨ reaction is all I have too lol. Okay, so for the placement reasoning:

Fuck: Garak - The man would absolutely know what he was doing, but I feel like because of his Obsidian Order past he wouldn’t necessarily feel comfortable with something as traceable as a marriage record revealing that he had a weakness (aka his s/o). The sex though...the sex. Not giving that up! Dukat - I mean, the man would know his way around, if you know what I mean. The guy has multiple children so obviously he knows what he’s doing. Might not be smart to marry a villain, but to be his good little slut...? *nods head sagely* Madred - Look, he’s evil. He tortured Picard. But...also...I would let him rail me till I couldn’t stand. No logic on this one. Just ✨dirty thoughts.✨

Marry: Macet - He doesn’t seem as bad as his cousin, and he’s still got the sexy voice, so um...Yeah. Not really any logic with this one either. Just would absolutely take pretty lizard’s last name. Daro - I mean, this one to me is obvious. He seems like he’d be sweet and protective and just perfect husband material, so...yep. We don’t even have an official first name for him, but I’d take his last name. Damar - Ok, so...no logic for this one either...He’s a big, pretty, square lizard. And I’d go there. Tekeny Ghemor - He’s a widower and he’s a very sweet man. 10/10 would call him daddy in bed and take his last name. He also feels like the type of person who would be v protective of the person he loved and since he’s obviously had a kid, he knows what he’s doing in bed...

Kiss: Telle - Tbh, he wasn’t my favorite Cardassian, but he was still cute and rather square. 100% would give this lizard a smooch. Boheeka - Look. LOOK. This man deserved better than the Order making him disappear for Quark’s requisition code. Add that to his slutty little comment about a Dabo girl almost bankrupting him, and I’d definitely kiss him. Also, he’s pretty, so... Ari - This good boy just wanted to protect Iliana!Kira and for Cardassia to have a better future. HE DESERVED BETTER. 10000/10 would smooch. Entek - Bad Lizard™ but would I let him pin me up against a wall and kiss me like a back alley whore? Yes. No logic. Only ✨pretty✨

Hug: Mavek - He was on Terok Nor during the Dominion’s occupation of said station, and he was sweet enough to bring Major Kira her coffee every morning. Look. Any guy who remembers AWAKE JUICE for somebody EVERY DAY has EARNED a hug. At minimum.

Kill: Evek - Look. I have strong feelings about Cardassians. For some reason, he evokes a very visceral reaction. Also I’m convinced he’s one of the ones who suggested the Central Command try to blame Dukat for the weapon smuggling in “The Maquis” Parts 1&2. R.I.P. Danar - Idk why I have this reaction with him?? So many of Vaughn Armstrong’s characters are calming or just give me a different reaction, but with Danar, I...I don’t know. Confusion lizard. R.I.P.

As for your second question, oooooh, I love that idea! I’ll do 5 people since you chose 5.

If it can be anyone from any Trek series, I’d say... Shran, Julian Bashir, Spock, Malcolm Reed, and Dukat (for chaos and laughs). Would we survive? Probably not. Would it be fun? Yes (for me; I guarantee nobody else’s enjoyment but my own).

If it can only be DS9 characters...Bashir, O’Brien, Martok, Garak, and Dukat (again, for chaos and laughs).

Are both those sets reverse harem situations in my brain? ...Perhaps...

#again if there's any I missed or that anyone thinks of later lmk #deepspacedukat asks #deepspacedukat wine talks #horta in charge

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ponyguru · 3 years

Text

Tonight I watched all of He-Man: Revelations and most of Centaurworld (I watched the first three episodes like, a week ago?) and I have ... opinions. (And it’s 4:37am, might as well share them while they’re fresh!)

(Warning, this got very long and ranty, sorry for stretching out your dashboards if that’s even still a thing anymore?)

He-Man was entertaining, but it did feel like (as someone with like, less than a passing knowledge of the characters) someone’s super-angsty fanfiction more than like ... a continuing series. They killed off multiple well-known, beloved characters, to drive home the point of how SERIOUS and how HARDCORE this series is, and instead it felt like being a little kid in the 80s watching Optimus Prime get murdered to sell more toys. Like, WHY DID THEY DIE? Oh right, to show the viewer how SERIOUS the bad guys are! And to give the other characters things to angst over, to show you they’re no longer just shallow 80s muscle man stereotypes to sell toys! But then you gotta wonder, where will they go from here? Who’s even left to continue the storyline? Is it still He-Man if half the supporting cast is dead?

Like I said, I’m not a He-Man fan by trade, but aside from the pointless murder, it did seem like it delved into the backstories that a lot of people have probably wanted since the 80s, and it made some very interesting points. So, hey, maybe it’ll be beloved by its fans! And it was very entertaining, especially as someone who wasn’t a childhood fan so I didn’t have a lot of nostalgia that I had to watch die. It doesn’t end on a happy note, there’s definitely the ‘what if the villains WON’ theme going, so maybe my opinion will be less dour when the next part comes out. (I did like that it focused more on the female characters, which was a very unexpected change, and in that aspect I felt it was very well written; that could explain why I’ve heard other screechingly negative feedback elsewhere online, heh. He-Man fans probably don’t appreciate the heavy preference paid to Teela.)

Centaurworld was ... well, I watched the first episode with my mother, which was a Huge Fucking Mistake. I heard that it was a thrilling combination of something akin to Adventure Time and a more serious cartoon like Avatar, and instead I got 10 minutes of that, and then 16 minutes of continuous ass, fart, and poop jokes, combined with a couple of great tunes and a lot of tuneless recitative style “songs”.

If you follow this blog, you probably know toys; you know the Poopsie Surprise toys? The ones which were so obsessed with uncomfortably sexualized poop/fart/barf references that entire scholarly articles were written about the sexualization of children with scatology-themed toys? Yeah, that’s what Centaurworld felt like, almost the whole time. Like just ... an uncomfortable amount of poop/butt/fart “jokes”, to the point where it felt like it had to be one of the writer’s fetishes. Like, it was clearly not funny, and the main character is clearly uncomfortable with it ... and it just keeps going.

I say jokes in scare quotes because jokes are supposed to be funny, and a lot of Centaurworld just wasn’t funny. You could tell it was meant to have jokes, but it was very much dated early-2000s type humor, I want to guess? The kind where it’s not so much ‘setup-punchline’ but the more ‘awkward reference awkward reference awkward reference drawn out wooooord’ type of “jokes”. And most of those “jokes” were just - you guessed it - drawn out references to butts, or farts, or some combination of the two. I felt like an aged boomer watching it. I like to think I’m hip and with the times, but it felt like it should be aimed at a middle schooler - but like, an oversexualized middle schooler? It was uncomfortable to say the least. (One character talks to his farts, claims they talk back to him, and he addresses them as ‘Daddy,’ while another character expresses how uncomfortable that is, and implies he has “issues” to unpack. Because that’s hilarious, I guess?)

Centaurworld did, beneath the heavy layer of scatology, have an intriguing storyline. A warhorse from a LOTR-style world is thrown into a wacky Adventure Time-type land made up of silly centaurs, and has to try and find her way back home. It was thrilling at times, if you could slog through everything else that beleaguered it. There were some really good jokes! But I couldn’t quite muster up a laugh, because I was still wondering when the next butt reference would sneak in. After ten terrible jokes, the one good joke couldn’t manage to lift me from the depth of despair I’d sunken into. It really only felt like the show got ‘tolerable�� around episode 7 (out of ten!!!!), which was an episode heavily focused on cats. (Which, again; wasn’t the internet very much about LOLCats in the early 2000s?)

If six episodes of a ten-episode series is nigh-intolerable, is it a successful show? Should you bother watching something that is 60%+ garbage? (And DON’T FUCKING WORRY, the poop/butt/fart jokes continued UNTIL THE FUCKING FINAL EPISODE.)

I suspect that, if there was a “goal” for all of the fetish stuff (beyond fetish stuff for fetish sake), it would be to illustrate to the viewer how uncomfortable the main character feels in this strange new land, and for us to share in her discomfort. Which, fine, sure! Secondhand embarrassment is definitely a trope. But the sheer uncomfortable volume of the poop/butt/fart jokes clearly went way beyond mere discomfort, and veered into ‘why is this coming up so much, is someone getting off on this?’ territory, at least for me. A couple butt jokes an episode, fine, okay. Entire five minute bits devoted to farts and butts? Entire songs about butts? I start questioning why it’s such a beloved subject for you to write about.

Plus, and I may be reading into this too much, but several of the only Black-coded characters felt racist. I’m talking neck-snapping, tribal body paint type racism, although only one got the exaggerated “soul” type music to sing, which I guess is a relative win? (Waterbaby and Judge Jacket, if you’re wondering who I’m referencing. One of them is a literal hippo centaur, giving us shades of Madagascar.) It wasn’t obvious, but combined with everything else, it felt ... bad. (There are multiple other nonwhite voice actors who aren’t stereotypes, so maybe it was just a bad case of ‘trying to represent different culture while being clueless white people’, who knows?) There was also some classic fatphobia, with one of the villains being shown as a fat neckbeard collector/nerd. Wasn’t that relevant in - wait for it - the early 2000s? They redeem themselves very slightly by having maybe two other characters who are visibly fat, but one of them is also viewed as an antagonist.

Anyway, I was disappointed enough with the show to feel like I should say something, so - there it is. Centaurworld did have some good moments, some lovely songs, and there was some really heartwarming and tender character development that I liked, sandwiched between huge swaths of discomfort. There might be a season 2 (there shouldn’t be, LOL) and hell, I will probably suffer through it because I want to see what happens to them. But I can’t recommend that anyone else do the same, in all good conscience. It’s not good. It’s just not. But if you have 5 hours to kill, there’s worse stuff out there?

If you want to watch one episode to see the best of the series, I recommend episode seven, “Johnny Teatime's Be Best Competition: A Quest for the Sash.” It’s themed after the CATS musical, and the extended number at the end gave me shades of MLP or Fashion Star Fillies. (I found an official clip of the song posted here.) There’s also other lovely songs in the series, but you’d have to suffer through entire bad episodes to see them. The lovely “You’re Okay” shows up in the very first episode, so if you’re curious give that a watch... just be aware it never gets better, only worse.

This series genuinely upset me, because I wanted it to be something much better, and there were glimpses of it; you just had to try and close your eyes to the obsession with butts and farting to see pieces of what it might have been.

One notable fact that I thought was kind of like ‘wow, oof’ was that Meghan McCarthy, of MLP:FiM fame, was a story editor for Centaurworld. And considering how MLP went downhill in later seasons, I gotta say I’m wondering if there’s a commonality there. Maybe her fetish is bad writing? There’s worse fetishes to have, AS CENTAURWORLD CLEARLY DEMONSTRATES.

#ponyguru chat #in which I ramble #in which it's 4am and I ramble lmao #OH GOD I HAVE A 4AM RAMBLE TAG OKAY TIME FOR SLEEP TTYL ALL #long post #VERY long post

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bisexualsforprompto · 5 years

Text

What’s in a Family?

Would you believe that I actually wanted to get through more content? This “Drabble” got a little out of hand lol. Honestly I don’t think I’ll continue this, sorry!

Thank you @abrx2002 for this amazing idea! You rock!

~~~~~

‘Playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne does it again.’ Thought Valentina Cross as she shoved her skinny jeans back on her. She looked back at Bruce who was still out like a light and sighed. She had a feeling she’d never see him again, but did she want to?

Almost a full month later Valentina cursed the rich man. She was pregnant.

Her parents would not be happy, not when she was only in her twenties. Valentina considered turning to her other family members, her grandparents would certainly tell her parents and her aunts and uncles as well, but there was one woman Valentina could always trust.

So Valentina showed up at her elder sister’s doorstep in Paris fresh off the boat from America. Only three months pregnant at the time, her sister vowed to look after her for the last six months and even take her newborn child.

But things didn’t go as planned. Some sick, cruel hand of fate dealt its cards. When Valentina was only one week away from her due date her sister went to run some errands and... never came back.

Callia Cross was pronounced dead from a car accident on the very day that Valentina went to the hospital. What felt like years later a newborn child with tufts of blue hair like her mother’s and beautiful bluebell eyes like her father’s was born. At first the doctor’s were afraid the child wouldn’t make it, but the lucky young girl did.

Valentina wasn’t so lucky.

Not even five minutes after her child was born Valentina was dead.

The unnamed baby was sent into the nursery while the doctors debated where to send her.

Valentina had no identification on her, she was a Jane Doe to everyone in Paris except her sister who couldn’t say a word unless it was to the worms.

Sabine Cheng and Tomas Dupain only wanted a child and one was sitting right before them. After years of trying to get pregnant with no success Sabine was ready to give up until she saw a small blue-eyed little girl staring at her with wide eyes as she was carted into a nearby room.

“Mother was a Jane Doe, we’ll have to send her to an orphanage or put her in foster care.” Sighed a petite doctor to her male coworker.

“It always breaks my heart with cases like these.” He responded before walking the baby into the nursery.

“Doctors Richmond and Poppy please report to the ER, code red.”

The doctors absentmindedly left the door open as they dashed past Tom and Sabine.

With shaky hands Sabine walked over to the baby girl who had never made it into the nursery. She picked her up and without a spoken word to Tom they silently made their way out of the hospital.

Sabine and Tom had underestimated the weight of having a child. They treated the baby from the hospital, who they named Marinette, as more of a burden than a blessing especially after Sabine succeeded in getting pregnant and brought Brigette Dupain-Cheng into the world.

With all the negligence her parents showed her in favor of her little sister, Marinette had a lot of free time on her hands. She was an inquisitive kid with practically nothing to do, so it was no surprise when she turned twelve, she started noticing things.

First off that she had blue eyes when her parents didn’t and Sabine had no blue eyes in her family so she didn’t even carry the gene. She also noticed that her blood type wasn’t possible when her Tom and Sabine couldn’t have possibly made AB blood.

Marinette kept digging, it took her two years but she finally figured out who her biological mother was under the noses of her “sister” and “parents”.

In a way Marinette was almost happy that Tom and Sabine weren’t related to her, they never acted like family to her. The only downside that Marinette could think of was that her mother had been categorized as a Jane Doe whose child was stolen. There wasn’t much to go on and there was no trace of who her father could be.

She was originally going to ask Max for help finding her birth father in hopes he was still alive and would want to meet his daughter, but it wasn’t possible when all that her class gave her since Lila came to the class was the cold shoulder. It was also the only thing her parents gave her, they didn’t even need Lila for an excuse to pay attention to Brigette over her.

Some days she wouldn’t even get back to the house because she was patrolling and fighting as Ladybug or cleaning up one of Chat’s messes and they didn’t even notice.

Chat was a whole other thing. After a few months of being the guardian of the miracle box Marinette, with the help of Tikki, found out that she had the power to make things better for herself. Maybe she couldn’t do anything about Tom and Sabine or her friends but she could make being Ladybug, the best part of her day, bearable for her.

She took Chat’s ring away. She wasn’t going to tolerate being sexually harassed and cleaning up after someone who was supposed to be helping any longer. She couldn’t say she was surprised to find Adrien the pacifist behind the mask. He was sad and slightly angry but he said he understood. Marinette wasn’t sure if he really did or maybe he had his own fantasy of why she had taken it away.

It was irrelevant. She should’ve known she wouldn’t last long as the sole savior of Paris especially with all the media asking about the former black cat wielder. She couldn’t survive much longer without help and Bustier’s class couldn’t be trusted anymore.

She was utterly alone. Lila ostrichsized her in class, her parents isolated her at home and she got rid of her partner. It got to the point where Marinette asked Tikki if she should give Adrien his ring back to which Plagg butted in and said no way in hell.

So Marinette did what she did when she felt alone, she researched. A big city in America sounded promising for her objective.

Kaalik opened her a portal for Gotham City. Ladybug’s mission was to find Batman or another hero and ask for something she hadn’t asked for in years: help.

It didn’t go as planned.

So there she was standing in front of a hero of Gotham, Robin, who she tied to a street light with her yo-yo.

“Are you ready to listen now?!” Marinette spat in perfect English. Robin scowled and furrowed his brows making him seem older than he actually was. Marinette was slightly annoyed that he had attacked her on sight and was acting all holier than thou on her when he couldn’t have been any older than her!

“I’m a hero from France named Ladybug, we are currently fighting a terrorist named Hawkmoth. I am the sole hero of Paris and I need some help.”

“TT. Not likely.” Frowned the boy. Marinette was about to blow a gasket when she heard a series of thuds behind her. She spun around to see the rest of the Batfamily in all their heroic glory.

‘I’m in for it now…’ Marinette thought when she realized that when the Bats saw Robin was tied up behind her they’d think she was a villain just like Robin did.

Batman stepped towards her slowly and held his hand out. Marinette looked at it quizzically.

“B you can’t be serious.” Said Nightwing.

“Yeah, that story’s obviously bullshit, we would’ve known about a crisis in Paris.” Red Hood frowned.

“We did.” Was all Batman said pressing his communicator into Ladybug’s hands, “Take this. The number for the Batcave is programmed into it. I assure you we will look into the situation. I was told by my colleague that it was nothing more than a hoax so if you’ll excuse me I have a green lantern to skin.”

“Thank you monsieur. I really mean it.” Marinette smiled blinking back tears. “Voyage.”

Ladybug placed on foot through the portal before remembering Robin. She retracted her yo-yo and stepped completely into it.

Marinette had no idea what to expect when Batman had said he would check Paris out. For all she knew the American army could be on their way.

What she wasn’t expecting was to bump into a boy the next day who looked very similar to her in facial structure. She pushed the thought away, he was only like her in stature and facial symmetry, she shared nothing else with him so it was probably just a coincidence.

He scowled at before going into Bustier’s room, she realized he must’ve been a new student.

She didn’t pay that much mind, he’d probably be a part of Lila’s web soon enough so there was no point in befriending him. She walked into the room to see her prophecy was already coming true, the emerald eyed boy was right at Lila’s desk.

She walked to the back of the class where she had been banished to. She shoved her books down before catching the conversation Lila and the new boy were having.

“So Damian, since you’re from America I bet you’ve heard of Bruce Wayne. Well…” she giggled and paused for dramatic effect, “I know him. I actually used to babysit his youngest, David.”

Damian rolled his eyes, “Unlikely as his youngest is your age and his name isn’t David.”

“Uh- I- ha ha!” Lila sputtered before laughing obnoxiously, “It seems we’re probably thinking of different Bruce Wayne’s.”

“It seems I don’t care, don’t talk to me again, got it?” Lila burst out into fake tears causing the rest of the class to glare at Damian. He simply rolled his eyes and went to the back of the class and sat next to Marinette.

“They’re like sheep.” He noted. Marinette nodded, “I think they’re dumber.” She mumbled under her breath. Damian smirked and turned to her.

“Damian Grayson.” Marinette beamed, “Marinette!”

“I think we’re going to get along fine.” He said before turning his attention to the front of the class.

A frazzled Miss Bustier ran into the class shortly after.

“Sorry class, I got a bit held up! Now I hear we have a new student!” She squinted at where Damian was sitting, “Damian why don’t you come down here and sit next to Lila?”

“The liar? No thanks.”

“Damian, that kind of behavior will not be tolerated. Marinette has been seen bullying Lila and I just want you to have a positive experience at DuPont!”

“Really? It seems to me like you’re an enabler. Marinette is perfectly capable and seems to have more brain cells than the rest of you.” Damian sneered with a ferocious protectiveness he hadn’t felt before except with his brothers and sisters.

Miss Bustier went into a flustered frenzy, opening and closing her mouth before she finally announced, “Alright class open your books to chapter three.”

“Predictable.” Damian scoffed beneath his breath.

“Thanks.” Marinette whispered.

“Don’t mention it.”

For a week Marinette and Damian’s small back and forth dialogue became increased. It made him a target for Lila but he didn’t seem to care. They’re friendship almost thrived on mocking Lila’s threats. Damian had many choice words for the flock of Lila’s followers as well. Marinette had been feeling a pull to him as if it was magic.

One night she thought it over, long and hard, could it have been miraculous magic?

“Tikki?” Marinette called.

“Yes Marinette?”

“I was wondering...I feel very connected to Damian but it’s hard to explain, it’s not like what I used to feel for Adrien, Luka or Kagami.”

Tikki sighed. “I’ve had my suspicions for awhile but this confirms it...I think Damian is your black cat. Every Ladybug and cat bond is different, more times than not it’s romantic but I think yours is platonic or even familial.”

“I guess that’s a relief in a lot of ways. Besides, dating Damian would be like dating my brother if I had one,” Marinette wrinkled her nose, “Though maybe I do…” She let out a long groan, “I wish I knew my birth father.”

“There, there Marinette. I’m sure you’ll know someday,” Tikki patted her back. “But as guardian it’s your decision to give Damian a miraculous or not, so we should focus on that. I know you’ve known him for a short time but do you think you can trust him?”

Marinette paused. Damian wasn’t an open person, in fact quite the opposite. He dodged the subject of his past, or gave her some small tidbits out of context. Damian had a good heart, that she could see, but it also felt tainted. But Marinette knew what made her a good guardian wouldn’t be stressing out over the choice or overanalyzing everything. That wasn’t how magic worked. “I think I can…”

The next night Kharaab made his debut as the new black cat. It was on the news and the Ladyblog quickly and spread like wildfire. She had given Damian a heads up beforehand, she had a feeling that when the news came out they’d have to face another akuma.

She was right. Chat Blanc, a jealous Adrien who missed his power, took hours to even make any slight headway. The moment Ladybug cast her lucky charm Chat Blanc had made a nasty gash in her stomach. Damian had trapped him out of pure rage and knocked him out. Disregarding the lucky charm which was nowhere to be found, Damian took Marinette back to the makeshift apartment he had been staying in. After detransforming, Damian consulted Plagg. The god of destruction told him that the only way she’d be saved was from a blood transfusion. Ladybug was passed out on his couch and if she detransformed it was likely that Marinette would bleed out faster and even die.

He took a test for her blood type himself, he had brought the necessary kits with him thank kwami. He quickly found out her blood type was AB, which was odd considering how rare it was and that he happened to share the same type. Though maybe that was just the luck of the miraculous...either way Damian didn’t waste time, he quickly fixed her and waited until she woke up.

“Damian?” Marinette asked groggily.

“Yes?”

“W-what happened?”

“Chat Blanc hit you, he’s currently unable to escape so I patched you up and gave you a blood transfusion, luckily we share some of the same DNA.” Marinette’s eyes lit up.

“D-Damian, Tom and Sabine...they aren’t my parents.”

“What?” Damian was taken aback.

“No...my birth mother died when I was born and I think Tom and Sabine stole me. I don’t know my birth father.”

Damian cleared his throat, “Well I guess now’s a good time to tell you that I haven’t been entirely truthful. My real name is Damian Wayne and my father is Bruce Wayne. I’m also Robin.” Marinette gaped. “Don’t look so surprised. The point is, it’s possible we are related but we probably aren’t, either way...I’d be proud to call you my sister.”

Marinette brushed a tear from her cheek, “T-thanks Damian.”

“Whatever,” He said avoiding eye contact, “Let’s go, we still have an akuma to beat.”

They made short work of Chat Blanc once Marinette found her lucky charm. She returned Adrien safely home and took Damian to her home to get Kaaliki.

“Are you going to tell your parents where you’re going?” Damian frowned as Marinette got ready to open the portal. Marinette gave him a small smile.

“T-they don’t really love me. They’ve never been my family…”

“I can get my father’s lawyers for a lawsuit. Stealing a child is illegal.”

“I know Damian, but Brigette. They love her. She’s the closest thing I’ve had to a sister even if they always chose her over me. I don’t want her to grow up alone and hating the world because her parents are out of the picture.” The dangling ‘like I did,’ that Marinette hadn’t spoken was deafening.

“If my father is yours...I’m going to face him with my blade for not giving you the life you should’ve had.”

“Thanks Damian, but if my hunch is correct whoever my father really is had no idea I existed.” Damian nodded before making a motion as if to say, ‘go ahead.’

“Voyage.”

They were standing in the bat cave. Marinette quickly undid her transformation in front of the many bats before her.

“Father, this is Marinette.” Damian introduced as he walked near his father, “You know her better as Ladybug but I believe you could also know her as your biological daughter.”

~~~~~~

Taglist

@northernbluetongue

@queen-of-the-trash-planet-tm

@luciferge

@legendaryneckjudgestudent

@interobanginyourmom

@beaversuenightly

@worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry

@mochinek0

@shamefullove

@emjrabbitwolf

@actual-disaster-human

@littleredrobinhoodlum

@elijahcoser

@daminett4life

@mochegato

#maribat #bio! dad Bruce Wayne

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

Text

1135.

by ausmuh

1. What's one TV episode that makes you laugh out loud every time you watch it? >> There’s an episode of Person of Interest -- “Number Crunch”, I want to say the episode’s name is? -- where an antagonist slips MDMA into Harold Finch’s drink and then pops something explosive in the microwave and leaves him to his fate. And here’s Finch, dopey and smiling, thinking it’s popcorn in the microwave and sway-dancing happily as he waits for it to be finished (meanwhile, one of his companions has broken into the place to rescue him and is just like “are you fkn kiddin me” lmao). He’s just so adorable in his impending doom, haha. Sigh... I love that show so much.

2. Who's one person you'd like to see a biopic made about? >> I don’t care.

3. Is plot an important aspect of books and movies to you, or do you care more about things like character development, themes, etc.? >> I really can’t imagine a plot that doesn’t include extensive and intricate character development. I guess I just don’t read plot-driven books, or something? I don’t know what a “plot-driven” book is. All the stories I enjoy are character-driven and the characters drive the story along... that’s just how it works for me. I guess I’d need an example of a different kind of story to understand.

4. What song hit you so hard that you remember where you were the first time you heard it? >> Awake O Sleeper by The Brothers Bright was like that. I was living with Hallie at the time. I wish I’d awakened to the bullshit I was dealing with, lmao. Regardless, that song hit me like a ton of bricks the first time I heard it sitting on the couch in the office in that house.

5. What's your "brand" of fictional character, the type you always get attached to (ex., "perky girls with deep-seated mental health issues," "guys who you would want as an older brother," etc.)? >> A few of my brands are “grumpy old magic man”, “probably a trickster god”, and “queer-coded villain”.

6. Are there any conspiracy theories that you kind of believe in? >> Nope.

7. What's the best "fake" song (one that exists only in the world of a TV show or movie)? >> I would name Dethklok songs but those songs are pretty real, lol. They used to have concerts and everything. I can’t think of any fake songs.

8. If you use Spotify, share your 2020 Wrapped! What are your overall feelings about it? Is it what you expected? >> Here’s the playlist link. And yeah, it’s what I expected -- the car playlist skewed a lot of the results, which is why there’s far more MCR and FOB and shit on there than seems logical. But You Ain’t Coming Back by Zeal & Ardor being the number one song is absolutely on point, lmao. I put that song on repeat on several occasions, which is novel for me because I don’t usually do that.

9. What's a film you watched recently that you can't stop thinking about? >> Possessor was wild. Fuckin Cronenbergs.

10. If you’ve been in lockdown/quarantine for most of the year, describe the different “phases” of quarantine you’ve gone through (whether defining them by an obsession you had, what you were doing most at the time, how you felt, etc.) >> I didn’t really have phases. Being forced to stay inside all the time was only different from my normal life in that I couldn’t choose to do anything different, which is the main frustration -- I didn’t exactly go out a lot before, but at least I knew I could if I wanted to (and sometimes I did). But in practice my life didn’t really change all that much, so I didn’t feel as disrupted as most people did. I kept doing the same shit I’d already been doing.

11. The last TV show you watched is now getting a crossover with the last video game you played: what is the unholy abomination that has just been created? >> It’d be fairly easy to recreate Bridgerton in The Sims 4, I’d think, particularly if you have some custom content installed.

12. What's an invention you’ve spent a lot of time wondering about the creation of (ex., "how did hourglass makers decide how much sand was needed and how thin the waist had to be???")? >> I think about that kind of thing randomly, but not extensively enough to warrant notice.

13. If you’re a ~gamer~, what are your top 3 all-time favorite games? >> FFXIV, Journey, and Hades are my current faves.

14. If the pandemic had happened just a year earlier, how different would your life be? >> Well, the wedding would have been cancelled. I might not have gotten to see Phantom of the Opera. 2019 was a good year and I’m really glad it wasn’t ruined by a pandemic.

15. Post a screenshot you particularly like from your favorite film without mentioning the film’s title. >> Nah.

16. Name the movie, book, TV show, etc. that you were most out of step with this year (meaning both the reviews and overall discourse was the opposite of how you felt about it). >> Hmm... I’m not sure.

17. What’s the biggest red flag you’ve ever ignored? >> Oof, just... Hallie’s whole fucking thing, lmao. But at that point I was so used to being treated any old way without care or consideration that I guess it must have seemed more normal than abnormal. Which really sucks. Because the stuff I went through with him is definitely abnormal and when I see other people going through similar things with their partners it’s really eye-opening.

18. What are some albums that “molded your brain” during middle and/or high school? >> My Own Prison by Creed, Something Like Human by Fuel, just... mainly those two. And my various mixed CDs recorded from the radio.

19. Without saying your age, post your favorite film that was released the year you turned 18. >> Hmm... The Jacket was good... Walk the Line too.... oh, Constantine! Fuck yeah! That’s the one.

20. What’s something extremely bizarre you believed as a very young child? >> I’m not sure, but I always think of this one story that this kid tried to convince me of when I was in second grade. He was light-skinned and he said that he used to be dark like me, but he started picking at his cuticles one day and peeled a piece of skin back and it kept going until he peeled all of his skin off and his current complexion was what was underneath. Kids, man... lol

#surveys #survey #random survey #not for reblogging *glare*

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ben-the-hyena · 4 years

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Spinel from steven universe

Why I like them

Oof not only I haven't watched the movie nor the show but what I think about the show ever since season 5 characters included is a huge unpopular opinion I had talked about already lol. But ok. Not only do I love her song, her super smooth 1920's style of animation, her 2 color palettes and designs really reminiscent of old cartoons and her 2 changes of heart and her BADASS weapon and attacks, we do sympathize with how loneliness and betrayal turnt her lonely and crazy and how understand how seeing she never mattered to Pink Diamond who changed friends like nothing happened had her snap. Again, good tragedy...

Why I don’t

...that is solved way too quickly in "I forgive every Hitler because he said he's sorry and we are too lazy to make one arc ending differently from another, remember kids to go hug your abusive family and bullies because deep down nobody is evil : the show". She almost destroyed a whole world dammit ! I am all for reforming villains but DAMMIT DO IT BETTER THAN "SOWWY :(" "WE SOWWY YOU" "8D" MAKE IT SLOW, STEP BY STEP AND CONFRONTING VICTIMS TO HER ! Plus she did all of that to peopme she didn't know and didn't know her because they all knew one person in common who was the one who hurt her. GEE WHAT A SHITTY LOGIC, CRAZY BITCH

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

The only full scene I watched of her was her Other Friends song. Damn do we feel her bitterness and anger behind every word and motion, how determined to make herself known at last and take her revenge she is, how awesome her animation is, how fucking powerful she is and how catchy as fuvk the song is !

Favorite season/movie

Since I watched none because I stopped loving the franchise...

Favorite line

Again I only watched her song fully and mostly know about her thanks to posts but "What did she say about me ? What did she say ? What did you do without me ? What did you do ? Did you play games without me ? What did you play ?" really strucks me because you can JUST hear her passive aggressive bitterness behind every word as she ironically sarcastically asks those while physically tormenting these other friends. How she hated that they all laughed, played together and did things together while she was alone for millenia just because Pink Diamon was a bitch and never told about her and probably just forgot her like a fucking sock

Favorite outfit

I actually hesitate because both designs are cute and very fitting her current mood. Her original design was adorable with its colors, hearts and big pupils, all Fleischer-like, round and innocent, and her new one is badass, with "tears" lines, and upsided heart because she was "heart twisted" and mote pointy angles because she toughened herself up and her pupils shrinkee to show her anger and insanity. Both are super cool designs for an alien species shapeshifting depending of their mood and experiences

OTP

I actually like her with Volleyball ! Both were friends/servants of Pink who suffered either physically or emotionally because of her, went through a lot of trauma and had not interactes with anyone for millenia (Spinel being alone in a garden and Volleybal being lobotomized her body being used by White Diamond like a puppet). They would have a lot in common to bond with, trying to comfort each other, talk about what Pink did to them and exchange experience, learning from each other as therapy until it could grow into something more. Plus they would fit together, both loving to laugh and have fun since they were both made for a person who loved to laugh and have fun, and balance each other, Spinel bringing the fun part Volleyball had hidden with trauma and Volleyball calming her down in her too big excitement. For those who would tell me "hey isn't Volleyball with Pearl ?" I will answee I headcanon all Gems as pan and polyamorous because they are aliens with other codes/pheromones as ours so they work differently in this field, in fact I would ship Spinel with other people too if I had ideas

Brotp

Well apparently she does become friends with the Diamonds and with Steven because the Diamonds are like "ok we miss our shit daughter and you belonged to her so you are better than nothing heehee look how you're amusing" and Steven is "of course I forgive you for having almost destroyed my world and killed us everyone for your issues for one person who is not even in this world anymore, because you cried and sang while saying sorry and that's what I always do teehee !" I guess ? I mean I don't really LIKE that but it's canon so...

Head Canon

She is the only one of her kind, she was solely made to amuse Pink Diamond and no other Diamond or Gem needed this kind of gift. So they used an ore they never used before and never will again, spinel

Unpopular opinion

NO she is not a pedophile because she kisses Steven on the mouth with heart eyes. It was a throwback at old cartoons in which the looney excited character kissing grouchier people was the funniest shit 1930's people had ever seen. Have you guys never watched Tex Avery or Looney Tunes !?

A wish

People to FOR ONCE not forgiving her or any other villain so easily because they just said sorry despite allthe shit they did and things they destroyed. God do I hate how easy that show's way to solve murderous maniacs' arc is. I need people to confront her that unwinding not on Pink Diamon but innocent people who had no idea who she was and didn't even approve her fate when they finally heard about her is not okay and they are allowed to hate her, not trust her or take time before doing at last

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

Her to come back because it would all the characters would come back into a new season which I don't want, because I freaking loathe the route the franchise took after season 4 and Rebecca Sugar doesn't seem to want to fix it. That would just be pissing on an early dead franchise that used to be awesome

5 words to best describe them

Crazy, playful, lonely, betrayed, revengeful

My nickname for them

Fleischer toon, hidden Cuphead boss, crazy jester

#steven universe #spinel #gif #moi #anon #ask #yes I'm salty as fuck #fans don't look

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asherlockstudy · 5 years

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to be honest, only paid reviewers can defend this sh*t. there is an article on VF already saying that the twins got what they deserved - it's like they know people are going to go insane, it's like they have noticed that no, Jaime's arc hasn't fooled anybody, and they're spreading a narrative that tries to make sense of what is the worst character assassination ever. too bad that the rest of the episode is so incredibly terrible that they are never going to pull this off. tbh it's beyond me to

understand why, though. why do this? why destroy everything this way? the only answer I have is that D&D are sociopaths. there is no other explanation.

I think GRRM’s ending is going to be in some ways rather bleak as well but I bet he gave it to them without context at all and D&D were entirely incapable of connecting all the dots before the end themselves so they went for shock for shock’s sake.

Those saying that we could see it all along just exploit Jaime’s character assassination to prove they were right for not liking Jaime or not liking Braime. Also, the comparison between Dany and Jaime is bullshit. In my opinion, the episode was not *entirely* terrible. Many characters’ choices subverted expectations and some were good just as some were bad.

Varys’ treason is bad because even though it is well intended, it is incredibly stupid. Varys is one of the cleverest characters and yet he basically starts screaming around the he is against the Mad Queen he serves. Instead of conspiring for her death, putting some fucking poison in her drink, he essentially commits suicide. Varys would never easily risk his head just like that.

Tyrion’s plot twist was good. Most of us love Tyrion and initially it was painful for me to see him betray Varys, his old friend. It makes sense to me now though. Tyrion was terrified for his life and Varys had made the stupid decision to go public about his betrayal. Tyrion was the one who told Varys so if Tyrion didn’t betray him to Dany, then Varys would still die and Tyrion would follow him. Let alone Jon would probably do too. Tyrion went for damage control even though it pained him.

Greyworm’s sudden outrage was the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. Greyworm has been portrayed to have a strong moral code despite being an Unsullied. Okay, yeah, they beheaded Missandei but could this justify the once extremely stoic Greyworm lashing out and killing soldiers that have yielded and innocents? Greyworm had a sense of justice once - he should have turned against his queen. And even if he lost control, Jon’s commands should have been enough to bring him to his senses.

Arya and Jon Snow - lol plot twist, most pointless characters ever but I don’t care and then we have Davos, who - let me be clear - I freaking love and he’ll survive the show without doing anything and fighting even for a mere second. Davos for the throne and I’m not even kidding.

Cersei - believe it or not, I didn’t mind that. I always have (or had) a soft spot for the Lannisters. (And the show is going to obliterate all of them - ain’t that great.) To me, the way Cersei and Jaime died was almost funny - suddenly portrayed as the tragic lovers lol what. However, aside from everything that had to do with Jaime, I didn’t mind her being portrayed as the victim. Cersei was not a good person but also she had a cruel life. She knew since she was a kid that all her children would die and that her brother would kill her. How easily can you be sane and loving if you know that this is going to be your future? I don’t hate Cersei. When a person loses everything, it is then normal to let go of all their defenses and start crying and begging for survival. I appreciated that, for once, she cared about Jaime’s wounds. In a way, Cersei lost most of her sanity out of losing everything she loved. I think the point of the story there was that no matter how terrible Cersei was, she wasn’t AS bad as Daenerys. Cersei killed guilty and innocents to achieve certain goals. She destroyed the Sept where the Sparrows were (who were indeed a plague for the city) and along with them the Tyrells who she hated and probably all the people who ‘d gone there to see the Queen getting condemned. Essentially, most people in the Sept were her enemies or dangerous for the city and the kingdom. I doubt Cersei would just wake up one day and decide to burn an entire city. She didn’t care for her people, she used their lives for leverage but she wouldn’t harm them just for pleasure either. Yes, Cersei was an evil dangerous woman and deserved to die but she wasn’t the worst in that dark world. She wasn’t Joffrey (although she made him, she was always better than him), she wasn’t Ramsey and, in the end, she wasn’t Dany.

Now, Dany and Jaime. Here’s the big difference - Dany and Jaime’s character arcs are the exact opposite. Dany has been giving signs of cruelty which start really subtle but progressively get worse and worse. She starts by giving no shit for Viserys literally melting before her eyes and we excuse her because he was abusing her. Then she kills all the masters in brutal ways, supposedly to fight slavery. She starts listening to her subjects less and less. As the seasons proceed she burns people, even for not kneeling. Do you know why Daenerys hadn’t gone full villain earlier? Because of Jorah and Ser Barristan. Those two noble and genuinely good guys who cared about her were able to keep her sane and advice her properly. Tyrion and Varys can’t control her that well and her true inclination starts showing clearly the moment they take over. Jon is the last one that with his noble and selfless intentions manages to guide her until he stupidly tells her the truth and that’s the last straw for her fragile mentality.

Jaime’s arc is the exact opposite. Unlike Dany, he progressively gets better and better as the seasons proceed. We reach the half of the last season and Jaime is now the best man one could be - loving, brave, selfless, honourable and, well, completely indifferent and over his manipulative hateful sister. And yet. In 5 minutes, all of it is thrown in the garbage. In a hilarious way. Seriously, last week I was crying. This week I’m laughing.

I will say, though, something I also said last week. This kind of turn in Jaime’s character was not meant to show that Jaime after all was still bad or depraved or hateful. He never was any of this, not really. He never meant to fuck Brienne and leave and his appreciation, respect and attraction to Brienne was not a lie. The point was that even though he was a good man, Jaime was stupid. The stupidest Lannister indeed. Also, always entirely incapable of taking initiative and make his own choices without having someone to guide him and tell him what to do, for good or bad. This part of his character has been fairly consistent. That’s the saddest thing of all.

#jaime lannister #got negativity #got spoilers #got season 8 #game of thrones #anti dany #anon #ask #mail

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neverwatchedonepiece · 6 years

Text

594-595: "Formed! Luffy and Law's Pirate Alliance!" and "Capture M! the Pirate Alliance's Operation Launches!"

After seeing what the Strawhats are really like and realising what he’s got himself into, Law has longing visions of the apocalypse.

That look on Law’s face.

You all know the one I’m talking about.

The one that started as a sweatdrop and morphed into a full-blown look of: I deeply regret this but am in way too deep to back out now.

I watched that scene three times. Pure gold.

If You Keep Telling Everyone About Our Plan, Maybe

So I think I misjudged Trafalgar Law.

Maybe.

Still not one-hundred percent certain Law does not have another hidden agenda but... I am about seventy percent on board with the fact he has good intentions. At the moment. Like Robin said, pirate alliances are marked by betrayal, so this could change in future. (But I don’t want it to. I like Law as a good-ish guy.)

Like Nami, I was also was not expecting Luffy to accept so quickly. Maybe at the end of the arc, I thought. Have no idea why I even entertained that daft idea. This is Luffy we’re talking about.

Law sold it as best he could without giving Oda’s entire plot away. “I’m not saying we can beat the Yonko right away. There is a chance, if we do it step by step. What do you say?”

Luffy’s daft but not an idiot. He asked Law to which Yonko he was referring. I’m guessing that was important because I honestly can’t see Luffy going against Shanks unless something really serious puts something between them. I was pretty damned interested in Law’s answer, so when Oda used that favourite trop of his: a sudden howling blizzard carried away Law’s voice, I laughed like a drain and cursed Oda and his teasing ways.

Fine. I get it. I won’t know at least until after this arc.

I also liked Luffy’s reasons for accepting Law’s offer of alliance. One, it sounded like fun. Two, he thought Tra-guy was a good guy. And three, even if he wasn’t, he had his Strawhats, who had spent the last two years training to become stronger (with the implication they could kick Law’s ass if the misbehaved).

This totally won over the Strawhats. They sort of melted into a puddle of giggling, flattered, enraged goo. Law was standing there staring like, “Wtf are these people?”

Still, as a gesture of goodwill, he unshambled all those who were able to be restored to their bodies. I am guessing is because of plot. Chopper and Franky are back to normal (Chopper had to leave with Law for a reconnaissance mission to Caesar’s lab). However, Nami and Sanji are now inhabiting each others’ bodies (because Sanji was not nearby to be restored to his own. I’m guessing you’ve got to be in Law’s Room).

Law was also not keen on the experiment kids. They were a pain. A liability. Forget about them. He’d heard from Caesar they’d been drugged. Chopper and Nami protested. They knew about the drug. They had already decided to take the kids back to their families. Law revealed the World Government have been trying to turn people into giants for hundreds of years. Why? In order to manufacture soldiers to increase their military might.

Apparently, Caesar wants to perfect the process first and outsmart Vegapunk and the World Government. (Okay, so Caesar is not still working for the WG after all. Is he that wealthy he can fund himself or is another faction bankrolling him? Maybe the Yonko Law is talking about defeating?)

Law was still unconvinced helping the kids was a good idea. “Are you willing to stay here alone?” he asked Nami.

Luffy, the Best Captain, jumped in. He would not leave anyone behind. If Nami and Chopper wanted to help the kids, he was fine with that. Sanji felt responsible for the Samurai Guy too. So Luffy would stay with them.

Usopp was so funny here. He leaned over Luffy’s shoulder and gave Law some Strawhat Context. “You think an alliance is a cooperative relationship just for some common goal, don’t you?”

Um... yes, Law answered.

Ha. Well Luffy’s idea was different. It’s like being friends to him. And if Law was thinking of taking control, it would not be that easy. Once Luffy feels sure about something He Will Not Back Down. His selfishness, Usopp said, was as formidable as a Yonko. (”That must he hard,” Luffy said. xD)

At that point, I think Law reached his Strawhat Saturation Point. These people were like freaking aliens to him. But whatever. He’d agreed to an alliance. So he laid out his plan of action. While the rest of the Strawhats took care of the samurai, he would go research the drug behind Caesar’s back. He needed the Strawhats’ doctor. Chopper was strapped to his hat. xD

Then, when that was clearly undignified, his back.

Before Law left, he issued a warning. Caesar wanted the Strawhats and the G-5 Unit dead. Until Caesar gets what he wants, he will not stop attacking. If any info leaked about him being on Punk Hazard, Caesar would lose his perfect hiding place. This is high stakes stuff for Caesar. He will fight tooth-and-nail to win. Not only that, he is a Logia type Gas Gas Fruit user who owns weapons of mass destruction with a 300 million bounty. Law cautioned anyone who couldn’t use haki to stay away from him.

Useful intel to have, to be honest. Thanks, Law.

And it was thanks to the conversation that I now know Zoro and Sanji can also use Haki. Did I miss that or is that completely new thing?

After that, came the part of the episode that was my Absolute Favourite. I definitely did not see this coming. Before Law left with Chopper, Luffy said, “So we’re gonna kidnap the Master, right?”

“Not for any money,” Law said. “To raise havoc.”

Despite the Strawhats asking, he would not tell them what lay ahead before they even successfully kidnapped Caesar. Focus on the job at hand. He would spill all later. Then said, rather ominously, “When we get Caesar Clown, things will move whether you like it or not.”

Ooooooooooooooh....

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.

Now this is a juicy nugget of plot. I also do not think this has ever happened in One Piece: defeating the arc villain in order to kidnap him, use him as a catalyst and trigger some nefarious skullduggery in the New World with a view to taken down a Yonko.

Caesar Clown must be really something. I guess if he is an inventor and purveyor of weapons of mass destruction, his services will be in demand within certain sections of the OPverse.

This is cool. I was a bit miffed when I realised this arc would end quickly as it has been great so far. You guys were right. This is an intro arc that seems to lead on to bigger things involving Trafalgar Law’s crazy idea.

Also, I cannot wait for Chopper to lay eyes on Caesar Clown for the first time. Chopper is gonna have to exercise some wicked self-control to not smack him for mistreating those kids. Chopper also asked Law an interesting question: if Law was so strong and could reach Caesar Clown that easily (because Law had just Roomed himself round to the lab’s back door), why could he capture Caesar himself?

Law deflected, as he always does. “I cannot because of a problem I have. That’s why I need help from you guys.”

A problem? Must be a pretty big problem.

And by the way, where are your crew, Law?

I am making myself suspicious again.

I need to just believe in Law, like Luffy does. Because the arc villain is making a move.

And That Move Is Called Smiley

Smiley.

Cannot get over that. xD

Caesar, you crack me up.

He’s probably one of those deranged scientist types who give their hellbeast creations adorable names. Everyone flees from the tentacled abomination that is Mr Binky Sparkle-Pants. Everyone knows Candy Smoochy Schmoo will devour your soul.

This one is called Smiley. Smiley is a sentient, hill-sized conglomeration of incredibly toxic waste left over from the chemical explosion four years ago. Caesar gleefully explain to Monet that when he escaped custody and returned to Punk Hazard about three years back, he did not purify the island of the poison gas (*the* only good deed he had left to his name!) I mean, why would anyone do such a wasteful thing? All that poison lying around? That H2S gas he had invented that killed everything on the island in second? It’s Free Real Estate, right?

What he did was (probably) use his Gas Gas Fruit (thanks for the confirmation, Law!) to gather all the leftover poison gas and compress it into a monster, which he secured in a vault on the burning half of the island.

And he called it Smiley. xD

I guess Caesar has a sense of humour?

At any rate, this squamous behemoth was unleashed by the gang of unfortunate fodders who were trying to break into a vault at the end of the last episode. I knew they’d meet a sticky end. I just didn’t know how sticky.

They tried to call their wonderful Master to report they were being killed by a poisonous monster.

Sympathy? In MY Laboratory? Get the FUCK OUTTA HERE!

But Caesar was in the lab, heard the DDM, was all like, “ugggggh, so needy!” He told his main minion not to pick up the call. Why? The fodders would just be screaming “Help, a monster is killing us! Save us!” How annoying, right?

And you know what else was annoying? The amount of visitors. Ugh. So many. Caesar seems to work in euphemism a lot because all he said was, “You can stop gathering test subjects now. We have enough.”

I’m guessing that’s code for “these freeloading Strawhats and Marines have overstayed their welcome. Time to die!” He had a jolly good lol to himself while Monet studied quietly in a corner (she must have learned to block out the cackling by now or she would get zero work done).

Caesar’s knowledge of how to manipulate human nature was summed up when he said, “People tend to forget tragedies in no time!” That is harsh but true. He knew sooner or later what happened in Punk Hazard would be forgotten by the majority, leaving him free to practice his wicked experiments with impunity.

He really is a piece of work, eh?

As of now, Smiley is currently oozing towards Caesar’s lab. Zoro, Sanji and Brook saw it approach on the horizon.

They found Kinemon, by the way! His torso fell into the lake and sank like a rock because he’s a Devil Fruit user. Because of that, the rest of his parts became super weak and he almost froze to death. If Zoro hadn’t found him, he’d be dead. At least he’s finally grateful for the Strawhats’ help. I wonder what he’ll say when he finds out they’re working with Law, the guy who slashed him up? I wonder what Zoro, Sanji and Brook will say when they find out Luffy’s working with Law?”

It won’t be a secret for long, they way Luffy’s going on. xD

NO, WE DON’T HAVE A SECRET PLAN AT ALL. WHY DO YOU ASK?

While Law was sneaking round the back door with Chopper and Smoker and his crew were battling to seize Caesar’s ship, Luffy had a Big Idea. Back at the camp, he whispered to Robin and Franky, the Strawhats who would go with him. (I’m assuming Nami and Usopp are guarding the kids and waiting for Zoro, Sanji Brook and Samurai to return.)

Smoker was having a tough time. Fighting in someone else’s body was difficult. Poor Tashigi kept turning to smoke at random and couldn’t turn back. (You know what? If this wasn’t such a serious situation, it’d be well fun to have a go in a Devil Fruit User’s body!)

Then Luffy arrived with a literal BANG! He cannoned into the snow right at the front door of Caesar’s Lab and roared, “SHOW YOURSELF, MASTER! WE WILL KICK YOUR ASS AND KIDNAP YOU!”

I swear the impact from Law’s facepalm was heard as far as Raftel.

Trip Advisor Review: Punk Hazard

“Arrived on island. Was welcomed warmly by hotel proprietor. Accommodation was clinically austere but the bar was well-stocked. Woke up one morning and I was a centaur. Not pleased. Proprietor maintains he has no recollection of how this happened. Only other guest remains tight-lipped. Refused refund. One star. Would not recommend.”

#one piece #neverwatchedonepiece #nwop #never watched one piece #trafalgar law #caesar clown #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #sanji #usopp #nami #tony tony chopper #nico robin #franky #brook #punk hazard #vice admiral smoker #captain tashigi

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jejublr · 7 years

Text

Super!Woozi

A/N: Did someone say Super!Woozi?? Because I’m here to deliver ;) omg Nat stop. I’M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG T^T Here’s something an anon requested and the AU update @mansaeboysbe asked for bazillion years ago. This one is suuuuper long to make up for it so I hope you all enjoy! This story is such a hot mess tbh. Also this gif of Jihoon is exactly what this fic is all about.

You thought Jihoon would be a hero?? lmao think again

Bc I think he’d be the perfect villain

Ok not really but hear me out

Jihoon would be some kind of a genius mastermind ok?

If you think that’s not a superpower, you’re wrong

You can say he’s some kind of a technopath bc this guy can literally build anything tech-y out of everything

For example, he made his first weapon at the age of five. fIVE.

Like what was i even doing at the age of five?? my only accomplishment by then was being the champion in a cracker-eating competition during independence day celebration smh

I’m so proud of it tho so y’all can fight me if you disagree

He can also manipulate most forms of technology

He can turn off lights without having to switch it off, manipulate computer data, he can hack into cyber systems, restore information and break computer codes

He could’ve done much worse but since he never had any form of training since he first discovered his power, his power is pretty underdeveloped

Nonetheless, technopath!Woozi is still super powerful, even with his limitations

Supervillain!Jihoon would wear some kind of a black suit with some cool-ass tool belt strapped on his hips for his tinkering needs

Definitely no spandex and absolutely no capes

We hear ya, Edna

He’d wear the typical black mask and his red hair would be a stark contrast against his dark ensemble

I live for red-haired Woozi

He also got these cool gauntlets on his wrist and he can shoot out sedatives, tear gas pellets, tasers, grappling hooks, a radio transmitter and explosives

Woozi also got his own personal A.I. assistant

Think of it like J.A.R.V.I.S. and it works exactly like it

It oversees Jihoon’s overall health, help him construct weapons and sometimes poppin’ some popcorns for Jihoon during Friday movie nights

Jihoon would also be super agile! He’s really quick on his feet and can do some cool acrobatic s***

Because Jihoon might sit around and construct weapons all day so you’d expect him to be out of shape lol

But Jihoon figured that while he wasn’t tinkering, he’d be running away from the cops or smth so why not start training his cardio right?

So yeah he did a lot of gymnastics and acrobatics

Besides running from the cops, he wants to make memorable entrance and exits in the future, too, lmao

It’s pretty funny bc one second he’d be like Bob the builder and the next he’s tumbling like a f***in ninja

It’s incredible

Anyways

So Jihoon has been plotting his big debut as a super villain for a long time now

He’s so tired of everybody underestimating his power despite him probably being able to ensemble a makeshift grenade in record time to blow your ass off

And he’s also tired of the times people called him cute

He’s not cute, alright?!

It’s been his lifelong dream to be able to look into people’s eyes and see fear in their eyes as he whispers,

“Am I cute now, you little s***?”

And he also decided that his super villain name would be Woozi

O yeah, bc something that means Our Jihoon is so evil. Oooh, I’m shaking in my boots

I’m getting off topic

About his super secret world domination plan..

Woozi had built a robot army to take over the city

I mean, he could’ve done it all by himself but

It’s his big debut, man

Give him a break

In no time, the city was completely taken over by his army of evil robots

He didn’t do anything serious

Just letting his robots do their evil stuff

Pulling out dead 2010 memes on people

Stealing candies from children

The usual

Also, people were already pretty terrified at the thought of a robot uprising so it wasn’t like he needed to work very hard to make people s*** in their pants

At this point, people are screaming, babies are crying; it’s music to Woozi’s ears

And everything’s going to plan until

OK, WHAT THE F*** IS THAT?

Ok quick backstory: the local factory had been dumping all its illegal waste into the local reservoir, the chemicals contained in the waste genetically transformed some of the wildlife around the reservoir into mutants

Wow did this just become an environmental propaganda?

Nevertheless, don’t litter, kids

Woozi looked ahead at the sight ahead of him and the city was suddenly swarmed by dozens of mutant creatures, animals and plants alike

It’s like Jumanji on steroids

F***in mutts tryna derail his plan of world domination?

Woozi is not having it

So Woozi whipped up random stuff from his tool belt and started to construct a make-shift weapon

And so you got Woozi who’s combating evil wildlife with his Object Animator

Which is like, a gun but instead of firing bullets it would “scan” objects and turn them into data in which he stored in the memory card in the weapon

HE’S LIKE A POKEMON MASTER

And there are few other heroes from different parts of the city who came, too, bc they heard some crazy guy tried to take over the city

But now instead of seeing some maniac cackling as they watch the robots take over the city, they see animal mutants everywhere like Madagascar: Evil Edition

The hero from a neighbouring city, S.Coups, was throwing mutant elephants here and there like nobody’s business

Honestly, at this point, the city was a hot mess with robots, evil mutant wildlife and heroes all compiled in one city

Anyways

So you’re one of the city’s local journalist so cliché

You were reporting from the roof of a carpark building

“I s*** you not, viewers, we just saw a flock of two-headed swans chasing down the police forces. You may laugh but have you ever had a swan hot on your trail? It’s the scariest s*** ever. Now imagine it with two heads and multiply it by tEN. Ok wait, let me put down the mic bc I’m gonna pray for the police bc only God can save them now.”

“WHoA, Ben’s Taco is on fIRe, everyone! Lmfao bc f*** Ben, he always charges extra for guacamole so he finally got what’s coming for him. Moving on..”

I’m so sorry if your name is Ben and bc Ben is the least Mexican name ever

You’re pretty controversial bc you speak without any filter but that’s also the reason people love you lol

Anyways, you’re up there reporting, ready to deliver the biggest drag of the century on national TV when a group of winged monkeys decided to go ape s*** lmao get it? ape s***? on you crew

You’re like “Elphaba’s not here. Wrong show !!!”

But of course, did they listen? No.

And somehow you got cornered to the ledge and by the time you realized what’s going on, you’re free falling

Free falling.. falling...

Bonus points to the person who gets this reference

Coincidentally, at that very moment, Woozi was right at the bottom of the building, completely unaware of what had been going on a few meters above

He was shouting at one of his robots for not doing its work properly

“You dips***! Why do you have a cat in your arms! How did you even find it?! I designed you to be evil! EvIL!

“But boss, villains always have a cat in their arms!”

Ok Woozi couldn’t argue with that but

“Priorities!! We’re supposed to tear those mutts apart!! They’re in the way of my plans!!!”

“But I know my priorities!!”

“Oml I should’ve done all of this myself! Now if there’s an answer to all of this f***in mess-”

Woozi had his arms out in exasperation at this point and BAM

He wasn’t ready when you suddenly fell into his arms lmao

You were lucky you both didn’t fall into a messy heap on the pavement bc Woozi regained his footing pretty quickly

You were definitely ready for sweet, sweet death but you felt like you weren’t falling anymore and

You opened your eyes to see the most beautiful confused face you’ve ever seen???

Your heart did a little backflip in your chest and you’re like

“My hero~” *heart eyes*

Woozi almost dropped you bc he’s anything but

“Who the f*** are you??” he said

“Y/N. And you are?” you asked breathlessly

Now your name sounds familiar to him and he remembered you’re that notorious journalist everyone seem to have a love-hate relationship with

You’re just..blunt and cute

This was like his chance of publicity lol so he was like “Woozi.”

You would have loved to stay and have a little chat with the hero with the clearest eyes you’ve ever seen but he got to go

So that’s how your first encounter went

With you falling into his arms lel

It did take them some time but they eventually managed to save the city

Mostly with the help of Woozi and his robot army

‘well, at least what remained of it’ Woozi thought as he looked at his robots, most only with one of its limbs left attached and barely able to stand

same tbh

People knew this but they were also confused??

Bc wasn’t he the guy to tried to take over the city earlier?? Is he the good guy or the bad guy??

They were pretty baffled but grateful nonetheless

So everyone’s cheering for Woozi and chanting his name and Woozi’s like??? why

Tbh he’s just as confused as you are

“Ok this is not going according to plan.”

And somewhere down on the streets you’re like “YeAH! WOOZI! MA BOI.”

The first person he’s gonna kill after this mess is you for calling him your “boi”

He’s not your “boi”

Anyways, the crowds are chanting and Woozi’s confused

And emerging from the crowd was S.Coups who approached him and was like

“Dude, you’re pretty cool. Come to the Heroes Conference tomorrow. It’ll be great having you on the team!”

And Jihoon’s never been one to be approached, let alone being invited to something

But despite him not even liking superheroes he couldn’t help the meek “O-Okay” that escaped him

dang it.

HE’S NEW TO THIS SUPERHERO-VILLAIN ORDEAL ALRIGHT? LET HIM LIVE.

And that’s how he finds himself at the Heroes Conference the next morning

So the Heroes Conference is a conference held regularly by the Heroes Association after any sort of event when a super managed to defeat a villain

It’s a way for the Heroes Association and the people appreciate having their city saved

Here, the supposed-hero would receive a token of appreciation, a medal of some sort

And most of the times, new heroes are recruited during these conferences

To say Woozi felt like he’s out of element is an understatement

He couldn’t help but feel like he’s a black sheep there

A supposed-villain surrounded by heroes

Why is he here again?

Well he came bc he thought it’d be weird if someone who everybody thought saved the city doesn't come when a big superhero like S.Coups invited him to get initiated into a team

Unwittingly, he said yes

Yeah, it’s not like he was starstruck or anything

And it’s not like he’s curious, pffffttt what’re you talking about

But he’s been seething inside bc what’s supposed to be his big debut as a super villain was completely ruined by those stupid mutant motherfrickers

His evil daydreams are ruined now

He was brooding when he heard a familiar voice

“Hey! Woozi!!”

And there you were, approaching him with a sun of a smile and he couldn’t help but feel his breath hitch roll his eyes

“Oh. It’s you.”

“Yeah! It’s me!”

“What do you want?”

You dismissed his tone and was like “Please let me do an interview??”

And he’s like, “Me?? An interview??”

say whaaaaa

Woozi was already in a bad enough mood from being where he doesn’t even want to be

Adding to that fact was you asking him to do an interview was stretching it a little too far

Woozi was so ready to say no

But you’re looking at him with so much admiration?? Nobody has ever looked at him like that?

He couldn’t help but feel his heart melt a little

BUT WAIT HE ISN’T SUPPOSED TO BE FEELING LIKE THIS!

HE’S EVIL.

E-VIL.

Woozi wouldn’t admit to himself that he’s weak for you and it’s not even day one lmao

“Fine. Make it quick.”

Seeing the smile that bloomed on your face almost made it worth it

Almost

So that’s how he found himself sitting face to face with you

Honestly, the interview was pretty colorful and entertaining, even to him, with you hosting it

You: “~And BAM your robots just sent that freakin rhino into the gas station and BOOM it exploded!!! And then the monkeys went SWOOSH and then I’m falling!! Right into y o u !!!!”

Honestly he didn't see the point of this interview since you just chronologically explained the whole story but oh well

Woozi had never gotten himself interviewed before but?? wOw aren’t you a handful but he likes it

He didn’t mind, though?? bc all he was thinking throughout the whole interview was you

When the interview finally ended, he almost regretted when he said to make it quick

He couldn’t stop thinking about you that day and they day after that, and the day after that

So now Woozi has two issues; aside from having a huge f***ing crush on you, now Woozi’s kinda stuck doing the Good Guy stuff

Like, he still doesn’t understand???

How do you do the superhero thing?????

Woozi literally doesn’t know how to superhero

Some days he’ll be on a mission and his teammate suddenly go

“Woozi! The what are you doing?!”

“I’m beating up the bad guys, like you said.”

“...wOOZI THAT’S OUR GUY.”

Whoops

He’s been trying to ask you out for weeks but all of his free time is now spent doing boring good hero stuff

He couldn’t even use his explosives anymore

Trust him when he said he asked

Why did he agree to this again??

But what he didn’t expect was how much he’s been seeing you?

Like, for reals, this town is super heh problematic istg

So Woozi gets to see you a lot irl bc well, you’re a journalist

But you seem to be always at the right place at the wrong time whenever whatever happens and he saved your ass more than he could count

Like, there was the time a super-robbery happened

Yes, super-robbery, bc regular robbery is boring and apparently, aside from being problematic, this town is also very extra when it comes to crimes

And you somehow found yourself as a hostage? Like hOW?

And another time when you got kidnapped for ransom? You were pretty calm about it tho but Woozi’s the one getting grey hair bc of you

But you could say it was also the right time bc Woozi got to swoop in to save your ass multiple times, too

And from all the times he did save you, you just...fell for a little more??

Bc by the end of it, while he nags at you for being so useless and careless and everything in between, you know he cares

What a tsundere

Ok but this is where it gets fun

So Jihoon had a rough night, so he decided to maybe get some fresh air, right?

So he was walking around with his earphones on when wait.. is that?

You were cornered by a group of what seems like drunken men and Jihoon’s like here we go

How do you find yourself in this kind of situation all the time?

“Get away from her, you dick!”

You were a little bit surprised when you heard someone shouting

You weren’re really expecting someone to notice so you were shocked when this guy showed up with the scariest pissed-off look you’ve ever seen

And the drunk guys just sneered bc who is this squirt?

Oh but Jihoon’s familiar with the condescending looks in their eyes

Jihoon had experienced his fair share throughout his high school days alright

So he used everything he’s ever learned from always getting made fun of for his height

He kicked one of the f***ers in the kneecaps, grabbed your hand and ran

You finally stopped when you’re sure you’re safe enough and you couldn’t help but admire this stranger who just saved you

“My hero~”

Do you say that to every single one of your savior? bc Jihoon is getting major flashbacks now

Of course, you felt very very grateful for getting saved so you wanted to treat this cute stranger

“Here, let me treat you to some coffee. I insist.”

And that’s how he found himself sitting across from you in a quaint coffee shop

“Thank you so much for saving me!”

And Jihoon swore under his breath bc there it is again

That smile

“No problem.”

You couldn’t help but think that the guy looked kinda familiar??

“So tell me about yourself!” you said

‘Well, you actually know me but not the real me but I’ve been pinning on you from day one but this is not how I imagined our first date would be like.’ Jihoon wanted to say but he figured he’ll just sound like a creep lol

Wait is this a date? F***

“Uh, I play the guitar???”

Nice, Jihoon, smooth.

Hey, a supervillain can have a hobby, alright?

And Jihoon didn’t know how it happened but you seemed interested in what he has to say and he ended up having a lot of fun talking to you??

The conversation went for a long time that he didn’t realize it’s been hours since he left headquarters and he’s still got things to do and he’s like crap gtg

And you’re like “Oh! You need to go?? I really enjoyed talking to you.. Maybe we can..meet again??”

Bruh, you may look super cool and suave outside but you’re literally freaking out inside bc !!! You’re actually asking this cute stranger guy out !!!

And that’s how Lee Jihoon ended up back in the headquarter, everything’s the same except for the number written on the entire length of his right arm in black ink

But then the next morning people were shookth from the obvious series of numbers written on his arm lmaoo

The other peeps on the team was like, “OoOoO are you dAting someone???”

“S.Coups, I know you can’t fly and I will not hesitate to push you off this ledge and make it seem like an accident if you don’t step away this instant.”

*S.Coups backing away slowly*

One of the team members almost prank called you claiming to be Woozi but then he got strangled by Jihoon lmao

You and Jihoon started to hang out more often

One time you guys (you guys as in you and Jihoon, you’re still unaware of his alter ego apparently smh) were talking about your favorite supers and Woozi came up in the conversation

“I don’t know, I just really like him.”

That caught his interest

“Uh, why?”

“Because! He’s so cool, don’t you think??? Saved me couple times, too. What a man.”

Lmao, more like hundreds of times

Woozi couldn’t count how many times he had to save your ass now

“But why do you even like him? He’s not like S.Coups or anything. He’s not..nice.”

You looked at him a little offended bc

Did he really just say that? In front of your f***ing salad?

“Uhm, excuse me but he cares about other people, Jihoon! Just because someone’s nice doesn’t mean he’s good!”

Jihoon never thought he’d hear someone say something so nice about him?? For once, someone actually cared about him

And it feels...nice

And if he had a huge crush on you then, by now he’s f***ing flipped

“Plus, I’d totally date him.”

Choke

So you guys obviously starting to like each other more and more; him bc of your, uh, refreshing personality and him bc of his blunt nature

What a charming couple, honestly

But he couldn’t work up the nerve to ask you out when he’s not wearing his super-villain, er, hero costume

But he can’t help it now!!!

He needs to do something about this stupid crush!!!

It’s taking over his brain

It’s taking over his life

HE ALMOST DIED ON A MISSION THINKING ABOUT YOU

They really weren’t kidding when they said that love is a disease bc he feels like he gets heart attacks whenever you smile and him and it makes him want to write stupid love songs about you and it’s just ugh

He’s a swimming lovesick fool around you

But Woozi isn’t keen on grand gestures

So one day, he finally swallowed his nerves and went up to you after work in his super suit

And you were like,”Woozi!! It’s you!!”

But then he took of his mask in front of you

And “Wait, what? W ho? Jihoon????”

Again, how you’ve ever put the pieces together baffles me smh

“Yeah. It’s me.” He looked like he’s ready to s*** his pants tbh

“Look, I hate your stupid face. I hate that you made me think about you everyday. I can’t even look at a monkey the same way without ending up thinking about you now. I hate that your smile always gives me heart attacks. So let’s just get this over with. Y/N, do you want to go out with me?”

Lmao w hat

Is he...asking you out???

So all this time, Woozi is Jihoon and Jihoon is Woozi?

IT MAKES SENSE NOW

Sigh

So you stood there gaping like a fish

Which kinda reminded him of when his robot short-circuited, cute.

And Woozi’s ready to flee the scene and go home and spend his night eating a tub of ice cream while writing a two-page essay on how you will never ever be together and hide under his covers and–

“Alright, let’s go on a date.”

Well, he be da**ed.

Did you just agree to go out with him??

He feels like he can take over the world now

But maybe later bc now, he has a date to attend to ;)

(But honestly, if he had asked you without the suit and all, you’d still pick him.)

(Because in the end, you fell for Jihoon, not Woozi.)

(But also you’re feeling lucky bc you happen to like both so what a steal.)

#wow this was a hot mess towards the end #but i hope you guys enjoyed reading it AAAA #jihoon scenarios #woozi scenarios #seventeen imagines #super seventeen #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fics #seventeen fic #seventeen au #superhero au #woozi #jihoon #seventeen #woozi imagines #super!au

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valeriemperez · 7 years

Note

I feel like Barry getting arrested in 4x05 along with his friends and getting a complaint for harassment in 4x07 could be tidbits or hints of what's to come if the writers do the Trial Of The Flash storyline.

They do tend to foreshadow what the B-side of the season will be about in the A-side, so I agree with you that Trial of the Flash is probably coming. We do know that Iris and Barry will be tested as a married couple by external forces later on, and Grant said it would get darker…

Theory time… What if Devoe blackmails Iris into helping him? Like, maybe he threatens to harm Barry or get him sent to jail, unless Iris does something for him (and she can’t tell Barry or the team).

Hmm… It would certainly make for some good angst, and we know Iris would do anything to protect Barry, but I hope they both know they can talk to each other by now.

After watching the extended promo for next week, my theory is that the thinker is somehow manipulating the team, Iris. There’s no way she wouldn’t believe Barry unless something was controlling her somehow because usually she’s the only one in his corner. Do you speculate this as well or have you given up predicting anything on this show?

I guess I’m reading it differently from most people. Based on Candice’s interview, I think Iris is more concerned by how intense Barry is being about it, and the fact that he has nothing on the guy so he’ll be the one in trouble with the law if he goes after him.

But we have yet to see that the Thinker can literally control people, so if it’s a matter of Iris flat-out not believing Barry then it just means Devoe and the Mechanic put on a really good act.

Do you think Barry’s babbling and scribbling may be connected to The Thinker at all? I had a thought that maybe Devoe knows how to read that code Barry as writing in, or that perhaps the things Barry babbled about that haven’t happened yet will all happen during Devoe’s storyline. (And G did hint that all those things would come around this season.) Do you think there’s a possible connection, or do you think all that nonsense was purely speedforce-influenced?

I think he knows whatever is locked away in his brain thanks to the Speedforce, but I do believe some of it will be about the Thinker or contain the key to stopping him.

@eboniangelvibez said:

Tati, hope you’re having a great week. 4.06 of The ⚡️was a bit flat, for me. The exception the last 2 minutes. It lacked ❤️ (WA). Barry+the team met the Big Bad in S2+3 in epi 6, maybe that’s what I was expecting. IDK. 4.07 looks to intense. I love that Barry is sort of taking on Joe’s stance from S1 (being suspicious of the guy in the wheelchair with seemingly noble intentions.) I definitely think a version of TOTF is coming. I hope Iris is instrumental in exonerating him of any guilt! 🙏🏾

I pretty much agree with all of this, lol. I really hope 4.07 raises the stakes and gives us the Westallen we’ve been missing. And thank you, my week is quite alright so far!

I’m really surprised no one slapped Ralph in that episode the way Barry is gonna get slapped next week. And correct me if I’m wrong, but Julian didn’t get this much screen time in the beginning like this guy, right? I can’t believe I actually miss him. Hope Ralph is sidelined in the crossover.

They are all over Ralph like they never were Julian, and sadly I think his inappropriate sexual comments are being played for laughs. Hope that changes, and I don’t think he filmed for the crossover.

I hope the critics haven’t been too nice with The Flash lately due to the lighter tone. I hope they can tell something is not quite right like we do. What’s the consensus been with people close to you? Should a legal document be hand delivered to Todd H about our concerns? *wish I were kidding*

I mean, I genuinely enjoyed the first five episodes for the most part. I thought there was some heart to be found in each of them and liked how we were easing into the villain. Last night’s episode is the first one that disappointed me, and I feel like the critics I’ve seen/know agree - at least with very much enjoying the start of the season and only now being like, “Wait a second…”

(1) Maybe its just me, but I do feel the spark that WestAllen have from Season 1, 2 & 3 before they’re a couple and officially engaged seem to be lost. The way they longing, pinning, teasing and those subtle and not so subtle exchange when they look or touch each other, are not there anymore. Don’t get me wrong. Grant and Candice chemistry on and off screen still unbelievably amazing and undeniably the best pairing ever. It maybe the writing, directing or editing. They can incorporate WestAllen(2) scene without making them the center of the episode/story. They should show how a healthy relationship looks like especially after the boy get the girl. After being engage and especially after marriage. A loving relationship that build a home/family. They can just held each, hugs or kiss after defeating meta or just talk about their day. This is what we need to portrayed especially in this chaotic world. Maybe they focus too much on the humor, they lost heart. Any opinion on this?

It’s not just you, I’ve seen some others say the same thing. I personally think the first four episodes did just fine with WA, and it’s only the last two that haven’t given them much room to be cute even in small moments. And yes, it has nothing to do with Grant or Candice, because when they do have scenes together they shine.

I think it’s just a matter of them not having thought to write in domestic WA scenes because they’re doing just fine right now. WA had (imo) very sweet scenes in 4.01 - 4.03, then Joecile and Cynco went through some hurdles in 4.04 and 4.05, so they got cute scenes then. And no one got anything in 4.06, lol.

#the flash #eboniangelvibez #anonymous #tatiana's thoughts #more asks under the cut #long post for ts

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my-chemical-friendzone · 7 years

Text

Threes a Crowd: Book v Episode

Hello~! So recently I bought the novelization of Three’s a Crowd, and I just wanted to share some points and quotes that I thought were interesting :D There were also quite a few differences between the show and the book! Nothing big, but at least notable.

First of all let me just say this book is THIN LMAO. I was maybe expecting a bit more girth, but it didn’t disappoint either way.

*In the beginning of the book there’s actually two or so pages dedicated to introducing the characters, and let me just say that the pictures they have of the 3D models (the same ones you see on the show) are crystal clear! I don’t know, it might just be me, but because the show does use certain textures, it can be hard to see small details on clothing and backgrounds. But the book doesn’t have the textures in the beginning pages and I was just impressed by how clear and smooth everyone looked (I finally saw that YES Pepper doesn’t have a tooth gap LOL). The rest of the images in the book have a sort of Photoshop filter on them, and they’re either from the episode or an edit of character models. Just wanted to mention that, but I digress.

Jane’s rage: I know that my girl Jane is pretty angry and hotheaded (which I love because bitch me too LOL), but the book really adds to that level of rage in a more specific way. There’s a couple quotes here I really liked:

“Dragon and Gunther fell to the ground in a fit of hysterics. Even Rake started to laugh. But he stopped when he saw Jane’s expression, the one she reserved for naughty children and animals.” /Jane doesn’t like animals it seems? Only Dragon presumably./

“Jane glared at him. ‘It is. How did you know?’”

“[Dragon] ‘Because you hands are on your hips. And you always put your hands on your hips when you are going to be boring and serious. You get it from your mother.’”

“‘I do not!’ But he was right. Her hands were crunched into fists and planted on her hips. Exactly like her mother.” /Dragon comparing Jane to her mother was--I think--the biggest burn he has ever made LOL. But I think we all knew that Jane was actually very much like her mother in a way./

[Scene after Merchant tricks Jane’s dad to pay more for work he isn’t going to do] ”Watching this horrible man cheat her father made Jane’s blood boil. Sometimes she wished she could break the law rather than uphold it. Just for once she would like to use her big green friend to teach this greedy bog weevil a lesson.” /I found this incredibly interesting! Because Jane is so hellbent on being honorable and just, but she gets angry to the point of wanting to throw all of that out the window and even use Dragon to threaten someone. It’s very human of her, and I like that a lot./

[After Gunther & Magnus discuss using Dragon for their chores] “Watching from her hiding place, Jane bubbled with anger. She could hardly believe it. No, that wasn't true. It was very easy to believe. She had never trusted Gunther.” /It’s funny to me how Jane can kind of not see that Gunther is somewhat hesitant to use Dragon? And he doesn’t really want to, and only does it because his dad persuades him to do it. But Gunther is also not trustworthy in general. But I’ll touch on this later too./

Pepper’s quote: Speaking of Gunther ~ There’s this small quote from Pepper when she’s talking with Jane in the kitchen that I thought was very telling.

“Gunther needs good friends, Jane. He has a rough time with that father of his.” /OK FIRST OF ALL--MY HOME GIRL. LOOK AT HER LOOKING OUT FOR MY SON IN THIS WAY. MY EMOTIONS. SHAKEN. But no seriously--what? In the book it seems like everyone kind of knows that Gunther is being abused by his father. I know they make a reference to it in the show, but it’s in the very ‘ha ha’ joking kind of way. But the way Pepper says it in context, it sounds like she feels sympathy for Gunther. Which is bizarre because she’s probably one of the characters that’s gotten the fewest words exchanged with him. But I think it goes to show that not only is Pepper a very empathetic character, who’s more insightful than she leads on, but also that Gunther’s problem may be a village known matter. But no one is really doing anything about it (then again, it’s the Middle Ages so it’s not like anyone can or would do anything regarding the matter). Or perhaps they all just assume that Gunther is just overworked by his father, who also happens to be a big douche, but they don’t exactly suspect abuse per-se. They seem to make references to Gunther working a lot, but don’t really go beyond that. It’s very nuanced. Also, GUNTHER NEEDS GOOD FRIENDS./

Magnus & Gunther: I think the most surprising thing about reading the book was seeing how blatant Magnus’ abuse of Gunther was. In the show it’s far more discreet, but in the book Gunther is simply terrified of his dad! Magnus’ tone is also much harsher, not just his quiet, disapproving voice.

“’Put your back into it, you lazy lump!’ Gunther’s father slammed the side of his wagon with a thick fist.”

“’Father, must all these barrels go today? I have duties at the castle.’

The Merchant scowled at him. ‘Your first duty is to me. Now get on with it!’”

[Gunther to Dragon] “’Go away,’ he whispered. ‘I’m busy. I still have to park the wagon around back and...and...Father will punish me if he finds you here.’” /holy hell/

“But Dragon ignored him. He flew over the house and disappeared.

Gunther shrank back as his father turned and fixed his anger on him.

‘What did I tell you? That overgrown worm is nothing but a thief!’

Gunther began to apologize. But...”

“Dragon watched him go and nudged Gunther. ‘So, what’s big and sulky and walks like a frog?’

‘Shhh, he can hear you,’ whispered Gunther. ‘Come on, I should go before he finds more jobs for me.’ /FFFFFFFFFFFF. This broke my heart because in the show Gunther actually snickers at the joke and elbows Dragon and I really love that moment but in the book he’s so freakin terrified that he can’t even bring himself to try to laugh!/

AND THEN THERE’S THIS LINE

“He [Magnus] slammed the door behind him. Gunther watched Dragon drop out of sight over the castle walls.

‘If only I could fly off like that,’ he thought.”

Gunther & Dragon: Gunther and Dragon are actually a lot meaner to Jane in the book! In the show they were actually NICE I’d say x’D Jane didn’t deserve half of the sass Gunther and Dragon gave her. Tbh Gunther did deserve to have his ass beat by her in the novelization.

“’Wait for me,’ she yelled, hurrying to catch them. ‘I want to hear your jokes.’

Gunther dismissed her with a snort. ‘I doubt it, Jane. That would take a sense of humor, The last time I looked, yours had been stolen by villains.’” /Jane proceeds to make some very bad jokes. I cringed/

“‘A royal turd!’ said Jane.

‘Is that it?’ asked Dragon.

Gunther grinned and shook his head sadly.” /icri/

[Gunther to Jane after she threatens to expose him] “’Yes, Jane. What have you come to tell him? Another joke perhaps? A funny one this time? Oh, wait; I know. Tell Dragon the joke about the girl with egg on her face.’” /there’s a lot more of Jane getting wrecked in this book, from the both of them OTL/

Then Janther bants (BECAUSE I JUST HAVE TO):

“’A poo-doll. Get it Jane?’ Gunther whispered so Sir Theodore wouldn't hear. ‘Oh wait. I forgot. You have no funny bone do you?”

‘I have plenty of bones, Gunther,’ she whispered back at him. ‘And right now all of them are waiting to dance rings around you. Are you ready for a whipping?’ /winks/

‘Now that really is a joke,’ hissed Gunther.”

“‘Is that the best you can do, Jane?’

‘No Gunther. I would never waste my best moves on you. But then I never have to.’“

Jane winning the fight: Jane doesn’t win the fight the way she does in the show. She actually ends up tripping Gunther after she’s got the advantage! Which is so unlike her but also just savage as hell LMAO.

“And with that she advanced, delivering a flurry of steady blows. Gunther was forced backwards, He managed a counter-move, lunging at Jane. But he overreached. Jane saw her chance. She sidestepped. Gunther lost his balance as Jane stuck out a foot to trip him headfirst into the dirt.

‘Gunther. How can I keep scoring points if you lie around down there?’”

/RIP Gunther. You left the way you came./

Jane’s apology: Since we never actually got to see it in the show, here it is!

[She’s rehearsing it to Jester first] “’Gunther I have behaved badly. And not in the best tradition of the Knight's Code.’ She paused to check on Jester’s reaction. Her friend raised an eyebrow and said nothing. Jane carried on.’So it is with my most sincere apology that I ask for your forgiveness. And for the opportunity to regain your trust and your friendship.’” /Jester proceeds to laugh uncontrollably, thinking it’s a joke. LOL/

Dragon’s boulder: I’m not going to quote the whole conversation, but in the show it makes it seem like Dragon is going to drop the boudler on Gunther’s house, and that may kill someone but he doesn’t care. Still it just skirts over that it might kill someone, and he’s really looking to do some home damage, and kind of ruin Gunther’s life. BUT in the book dragon is VERY clear about wanting to kill Gunther. He is deadass like ‘I’m just going to smash him with this rock Jane wtf B)’ LOL. I was shook beyond belief.

The ending scene: Oh boy so much to say! So in the show, what Dragon does is he kind of advances towards Magnus & Gunther with the boulder in his hand, but he doesn’t throw it, he just makes them stumble backwards and throws the boulder in the water. But in the book he just THROWS THE BOULDER AT THEM BOWLING BALL STYLE. LMAO. He just chucks it right at them. In the show, when Gunther sees Dragon coming towards them, he just moves out of the way and leaves Magnus behind (i laughed way too hard when I saw that), but in the book he SAVES HIS LIFE. HE PUSHES HIM OUT OF THE WAY THEN JUMPS.

HE. DOESN’T. DESERVE. YOU. GUNTHER.

Anyways! OF COURSE Magnus blames the whole thing on Gunther, but Gunther feels a sense of humor and relief, much like in the show, only much cuter.

“Gunther stood up and grinned at the mess [there was herring everywhere]. ‘Well Father. That was a very good shot for such a stupid beast.’

Still sprawled on his stomach, the Merchant glared up at his son. ‘What is so funny, boy? This has cost us a month’s profit.’

But Gunther couldn’t help himself. The sight of his father on his knees, turning purple with rage, was too much for him. He burst into a fit of giggles and had to clamp a hand over his mouth. Jane and Dragon circled back overhead, and Gunther gave them a small wave. Then he ran off along the wharf before his giggles turned into a hopeless laughing fit.’”

/my sweet son/

Jane then says this: This is the point I wanted to make earlier.

“‘Poor Gunther,’ said Jane. ‘He is going to have a list of jobs as long as his fahter’s face when this is over.’

‘Good,’ said Dragon. ‘He deserves it.’

‘Maybe. ...’ /I found this completely bizarre? Because on one hand Jane can’t stand Gunther let alone trust him or socialize with him, and then on the other, after knowing he was using Dragon, she feels bad for him? I think this goes back to the fact that everyone kind of knows something’s up with Gunther and his Father, and how Jane knows that whenever Magnus is angry, Gunther is going to be punished for it. So to an extent, Jane doesn’t really understand but to another she kind of does, and she sympathizes with him. Like she can sometimes tell it isn’t just him being that way, its his dad. It’s small moment of nuanced clarity like this that make this book (and the show) so interesting!

Anyways, that’s all I had to say :D I hope you enjoyed it!

#jane and the dragon #janther #threes a crowd #jane turnkey #gunther breech

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sanaseva-archive · 7 years

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okay, hi. it’s me—the annoyance in this fandom. and i’d like to talk about something, so bear with me.

there’s a problem in this fandom that doesn’t need to be discussed. why not? it’s not up for discussion, basically. it’s up to you all to sit back and learn that this shit you all are pulling needs to be stopped. period.

i’m breaking it up to a couple of core parts so you all know what i’m talking about.

first of all, let’s talk about the islamophobia and racism in this fandom.

here’s the deal: shut up and listen. is that too hard? then just shut up and close your browser. delete your blog. take a walk. go on with your shitty life.

i don’t know why this needs to be explained—seriously. i don’t understand it. it’s not physics or the study of runes. it’s the basic thing called logic thinking and common decency at the least.

you’re all doing something incredibly harmful and it’s not okay. when you started calling a brown character a rat i—i thought it was a joke. and when it was pointed out it’s racist, by people of colour in this fandom, you kept doing it. why? do you take enjoyment in calling brown people rats? do you think you can get away with it? guess you can, but you can stop doing it to people of colour. it’s disgusting.

next. the idea of this season is: please don’t let me be misunderstood. the reverse of this? please don’t let me be understood. just so we’re clear. there’s no reverse. the song was in reverse, the message was clear. so you can shut up about that.

so when the fight broke up, and sana was hiding in the bathroom stall, what did we hear? the two white random, irrelevant white girls talking about how they thought (assumed, didn’t know but talked anyway) it was about homosexuality, and how muslims are homophobic. was it there for the lols? no. it was there for us. to know. that it wasn’t about that.

my point: shut the fuck up about it. it’s tiresome, getting old, it’s toxic. if you keep talking about this, you’re spreading harmful messages to others. what messages? that muslims are homophobic. which they can be, i’m not saying some aren’t. i’m saying that that’s not the point of this season and that non-muslims are equally likely to be homophobic. don’t believe me? wow, i guess it’s something that has been fed to you by media representation and… dare i say it? people talking shit of shit they don’t know on social platforms. precisely what you’re doing right now.

second thing we need to talk about: the series. yes! let’s talk about what content we have right now and why us people of colour and why muslims are upset, shall we? (note: we have all the right to be upset.)

let’s first get this out of the way: we know it’s written this way to prove some point later on in the season. probably something along the lines of muslim and brown boys not all being homophobic and shit. you know. that thing you keep shutting your eyes from. we understand that, we know that.

we’re just. not. happy. about how it’s written. it’s kind of doing a lot of damage right now. look at some of the messages some people (people of colour, muslims, muslim people of colour) receive. and what we should be getting is much more healthy scenes between muslims, muslims and people of non-faith, people of colour and white people, to weigh up to the damage its doing. we don’t get that much of that. and it’s frustrating, because we understand why (sana’s lonely) but there are so many ways to portray loneliness than completely erase healthy interactions between people on the fucking screen.

don’t bring up the hei briskeby videos, because they don’t count. i’m talking about the real episodes here. the real clips. the clips that the casual viewer will watch.

so yes. the series itself is… partially at fault here. the writing, i would say. especially filming only the people of colour in a fight and—wow. that chokehold they had on the only black guy? yikes.

what’s worse is that they surely know—or at least have a slight idea—of what outbreak their clips will give. and they keep doing it. keep feeding this shit to us, and leave us to either deal with it, or completely shut down our inboxes. which results into people thinking we’re selfish, because we don’t answer their wish to learn more about culture and islam and the experiences people of colour have.

third thing we need to talk about: vilde and noora. yup. i’m putting them on the agenda.

i, as a lesbian of colour, wholeheartedly believe that vilde’s character is poorly written this season. she’s obviously not too different from earlier seasons, but she’s definitely had more emphasis on her ignorance, and how that ignorance is dealt with is—less acceptable. i do believe, on top of that, that she will be “redeemed” (i’m just not sure i’ll buy into it) and that she will learn, apologise and maybe grow the last episode or something, since we won’t be getting any more.

but what bugs me the most about the way they’re writing her this season is that, she’s coded as possibly lesbian (or bi, if you prefer, but i’m gonna talk about her being lesbian, and you can make your own post about her being bisexual). and she’s literally the only character fully coded this way. if you’re interested in why, just… google it. believe it or not, we aren’t google. but the key point is that she is doing a lot of what us lesbians perceive as compulsory heterosexuality. and they completely villainised a potential lesbian this season which is just falling into the same shit people have done over and over again. lesbians are bad, lesbians are racist, lesbians are this and fucking that and that pisses me off. if, by the off chance, she eventually is canonically declared as lesbian, i’m not sure i will rejoice or throw my phone through my computer screen. they ruined her character to me, they ruined a (coded) lesbian to me, a lesbian, simply because they wanted to put her to be the ignorant girl who keeps shitting all over sana.

and noora. man. i’m not too mad about noora as a character herself. she’s flawed, she has her good moments and shit. but she takes up so much of her own storyline from sana’s. it’s a mess. she’s talking about herself, her problems with dickhelm, and sure, that’s what friends do—talk about what bothers you. but we’re so frustrated that she’s once again on the screen, talking about the same old thing, and rip the minutes that could’ve been spent on sana from our hands.

don’t get me wrong. we all know that sana is a listener. but there’s a line. and they jump over it, time and time again.

and then there’s the misogyny in this fandom that needs to be addressed. and this is a harder one, because it’s hard to spot.

during the course of season three—up to this day, i see this shit—people keep shitting on sonja and emma for no other reason than them being girls who got hurt in the process. sonja? remember her? she got cheated on. and while even kept saying he felt controlled by her you somehow got the idea that she’s toxic. she isn’t. a toxic relationship would not end with isak thanking sonja for the help she’s given. she knows even and—well, at the most, she might have been a bit controlling because she doesn’t understand that even is his own person with or without his bipolar disorder.

and emma? she outed isak, which is fucked up and there’s no excuse. but stop thinking she’s the absolute villain to isak’s life because she’s a girl, who got hurt, in the process. accept that, move on, because isak sure did.

you thought i’d end there? really? nope. ain’t gonna happen. i’m gonna bring up vilde specifically again.

you think she’s just a dumb ignorant islamophobe? partially true. she’s islamophobic and is not a good friend to sana. she’s ignorant, yes. but you’re reducing her character to something she isn’t. you’re reducing her to the blonde dumb girl, which is just as shitty as people defending her islamophobic behaviour. her islamophobia does not correlate to her dealing with whatever she’s dealing with (compulsory heterosexuality, if you will), but if you reduce her to a two-dimensional character it’s quite misogynistic itself. if you’re woman and doing that—check yourself in the mirror.

same goes for noora, basically, but i don’t think anyone is genuinely despising her for anything else than the shitty line here and there and the serious screentime she’s clocking.

we also had a run in with the lovely subjects of biphobia and ableism too. you all can’t stop anywhere, can you?

since we aren’t discussing, let me just point out these things:

bisexuality does not equate to cheater. a cheater can be of any sexuality. the stereotype is that bisexual people are cheaters is harmful and it ends here. whether a bisexual person/character has cheated can be discussed without bringing in their bisexuality to the conversation.

and mental illness… it seems it’s harder for you to grasp this part. so let me put it this way: think of the most embarrassing shit you’ve done. called your teacher mum and everyone laughed? peed yourself in public? pretended to talk on the phone and your phone ended up ringing? whatever. the most embarrassing shit you’ve done. think of that. feel what you felt at that point. oh my god, what did people think of you?

do you want your crush or your partner of a few months know… that? say it involved a second person. say you… shat yourself on your best friend’s expensive, newly bought couch, felt so embarrassed you left the house and deleted all your social media and never answered their calls.

say your partner brings them up.

would you… tell them that?

i don’t mean to trivialise mental illness here (i’m struggling with my own). it’s much more complex (guilt, self-blaming, embarrassment, sadness) than what i’m saying here. i’m just breaking it down to a point where hopefully even the most abled person can understand.

you’re expecting someone who deals with this every day to just tell their partner. it’s not that easy. it’s a lot of compartmentalising that needs to be done, so you can tell that story without breaking down completely. what happened to even broke him enough to switch to a new school. that’s not something you just tell someone, regardless if you’re together with them, without having thought it through for weeks—even months—and analysed each possible turnout and reaction. that’s not something you tell someone unless you really, really, really need to.

that’s not to say that it’s… bad. that even and sana weren’t honest with isak from the start. but it’s what it is. even isn’t perfect. sana isn’t perfect. isak isn’t perfect. none of these characters are completely perfect. why not? because they’re supposed to be realistic, human and resound to us. we’re supposed to be able to relate to them, in a way.

lastly, but most importantly: stop thinking you’re so bloody entitled to send shitty asks to people, especially the muslims, people of colour and disabled people of this fandom.

now that i’ve said my piece, kindly don’t find your way into my inbox and think it’s time to discuss. as i said, it’s not up for discussion.

don’t understand what i’m talking about? congratulations, you just won the prize: read this post again until you get it.

peace the fuck out.

#howling #long post #. because read more break would give the people the option not to read this.

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