#and then sometimes 9 fucking years later you’re stuck in traffic on your way home from work and get an email

[gingerwerk]

Finally seeing the gaslight anthem tonight 😎

[spicywhenspeaking]

If I'm There: Chapter Nine

read from part one

Noah and Natalie meet in high school and developed a relationship through their love of music and art. Falling in love, innocent and young, they think nothing can keep them apart. However, sometimes in the pursuit of your dreams the things we love the most get left behind

warnings: mentions of alcohol abuse

As I’m scrambling to get out of bed I check my phone and see I have several missed messages. 

Kyle: you skipping today?? Tried to wake you up. 7:30am

Maggie: Hey girl ! Late bell just rang! Where are you? 8:05am

Noah: tried to catch you after 1st, did you leave class early? 9:30am

I finish throwing on my clothes tripping over my jean leg and respond to Noah’s text. 

Natalie: I just woke up. Slept through my alarm. 10:05am

Natalie: I missed my test. 10:05am

Noah: Fuck. Natty, I’m so sorry. 10:06am

Natalie: can you come get me? 10:06am

Natalie: my moms passed out. she can’t drive me. 10:08am

Noah: Of course. Give me 10 minutes, I just need to get out of Spanish real quick. 10:09am

Natalie: I had Senor Gomez last year, if you tell him you’re coming to get me maybe he’ll just let you leave. 10:09am

Noah: wow. Okay, I said it was for you and he practically shoved me out the door. 10:13am

Noah: I’m on my way. 10:15am

Noah gets to my house 15 minutes later. I missed Econ and Art but I’ll be able to make it to anatomy to turn in my project. I rush downstairs and out the front door when I get his “I’m here” text. On the drive to school Noah continues to profusely apologize for getting me home so late last night. “Noah, you didn’t do it on purpose and I’m the one that overslept. You can’t blame yourself for me not hearing my alarm.” I say, trying to calm his nerves. Despite having some frustration about what happened last night, it’s not like Noah planned for us to be stuck in traffic. “I agreed to come to the show. I knew there was a chance I might get home late. I’ll talk to my Econ teacher and maybe they’ll let me take it during my free period.” He reaches across the seat and squeezes my knee. “I should have paid more attention to the time last night, leaving so late was my fault.” I cover his hand with mine, “I forgive you Noah. I’ll talk to Mr. Mattson before I go to my anatomy class. I’m sure it will all work out.” Noah pulls into the senior parking lot and puts the car in park. Before I unbuckle my seatbelt he’s leaning over and kissing me tenderly,  “I know I’ve apologized an annoying amount but I’ll say it again. I’m really sorry Natty.” Laughing softly I kiss him back and we exit the car. Holding hands he walks me to my Econ class and we agree to meet after school so he can drive me to work. 

I walk into the class and Mr. Mattson looks up from his lunch to greet me “oh hello there Natalie, we missed you this morning. Is everything okay? Unlike you to miss class.” I run my fingers through my hair and take a deep breath. “I know, I’m so sorry for not being here this morning. I woke up with a horrible headache and just couldn’t get out of bed for a while.” A big fat lie. “ Is there any way I could make up the test?” I plead with him. “I have my last period free, could I take it then?” He thinks about it briefly before slowly nodding his head “okay, I’ll make an exception this once.” He looks up to me with a more serious look before continuing “only because you have such a high average and I’d hate for something like this to affect it.” I let loose the breath I didn’t know I was holding and feel so much relief. “Thank you so much!” 

I make my way to Anatomy and turn in my project, the rest of class goes by fast and then I head to Mr. Mattson’s class to take my test. 

After the test, I walk to where Noah and I usually meet and find him in a less than friendly looking conversation with my brother. A few people are staring and I’m hoping I can get to them before anyone throws a punch. 

“I knew you would fuck up her life somehow, you realize with out good grades she’s stuck here” Kyle fumes at Noah. I'm honestly stunned by Kyles words, does he actually care about my future? “I already talked to your sister about this Kyle and apologized to her.” Noah barks back. “ I don’t owe you any explanation. Dick” he finishes. “Fuck you Davis.” Kyle pushes Noah back harshly and I move faster to approach and step between the two. Noah is taller but Kyle is bigger and stronger. “Stop it.” I look at the two of them. “This is fucking embarrassing, both of you are acting ridiculous.” I turn to Noah “can I talk to my brother and meet you at your car?” He hesitates but then nods sharply and heads to his car and I turn to Kyle.

“I don’t understand what your weird protective bullshit is Kyle, but you lost the ground to tell people how to treat me after trying to choke me out last spring” I say and he bristles. “I apologized for that,”  He whispers harshly. “I just - you care about school, grades, making a better life for yourself and he cares about making music, becoming a rockstar. You can’t let him distract you from everything you’ve worked for.” I roll my eyes. “You barely apologize if we’re being honest and you just don’t like Noah so you don’t want me around him.” I continue, “we’re dating Kyle, not engaged to be married. You’re talking about the future like I have to decide right now. I'm happy, can I can't just be happy?”

He’s trying to even out his breathing and calm down, apparently something he’s been working on in therapy. “Okay. Fine. Be happy. For now. But I don’t want to hear your shit when it all falls apart Natalie. It will. And you’ll expect me to care because I love you.” He moves closer. “He isn’t thinking about your future sis. I know you think you’re in love and it’s all going to be sunshine and fucking rainbows.” I flinch at his tone. “But you want to go to college,you want  stability, a real fucking life. He wants to play music to thousands of adoring fans around the world. How does that work out well for you?” He’s looking into my eyes, looking through me. “It’s fun now, but you are going to get hurt.” I push him further back “screw you Kyle. Worry about your own life” I turn to walk to where Noah is waiting by his car.

I know Kyle is just trying to mess with my head. But why is it working? He’s not entirely wrong though, college has always been my plan, art school and then…well I don’t know exactly. Maybe I’d be an illustrator, graphic designer, or I could sell my prints at a farmers market until I’m 80 and live in a shack. But, why does it even matter right now? Senior year just started, we have plenty of time to figure all of that out. I must look like I’m thinking really hard because as I approach Noah’s car he says “maybe you want to give that ol’ thinker a break for the evening Natty.” He taps his own head to emphasize his point. “Just forget whatever he said, it was probably only meant to hurt you or confuse you or piss you off.” He comes over to my side and opens the door for me to climb in. “Come on, I’ll take you to work and then maybe after you could come over?” He winks and kisses me on the corner of my mouth. “Oh, it’s a tempting offer indeed.” I tease him. “We’ll see” I wink back at him. I’m obviously going over and he knows it. 

Laying down in Noahs’ bed at the end of the day,  I can't help but replay the conversation I had with Kyle after school. What would happen if I got into art school across the country? Would Noah and I try long distance? Would he follow me and play music there? I should talk to him about it. Turning over in bed to face him, I'm met with his sleeping face, snoring softly. I run my finger down the slope of his face and sigh. I guess it can wait until morning. 

But, when morning comes I’m awoken to my phone sounding off over and over with the ringtone I set for Kyle in 7th grade. “Why is the Imperial March waking us up at 7 in the morning. On a Saturday.” Noah grumbles from behind me. I grab at my phone half asleep and answer. “Hello” my sleepy voice rasps out. “Natalie-". I sit up at the sound of my brothers cracking voice on the other end. “It’s mom- she- I found her this morning.” Trying to remain calm even though my sleepy thoughts are creating the worst possible scenario. “What happened Kyle?” I managed to get out. “I thought she was asleep- well passed out but you know. I tried to move her to her room and she -“ he broke off as I hear his breath catching. It sounds like he’s coming down from a panic attack. “She what Kyle!? What happened to mom?”

love love love ya! thank you for reading!

Next chapter here!

short chapter today womp :( posting a fluffy one shot to make it up to you <3

taglist : @lma1986 @cookiesupplier @notingridslurkaccount @blackveilomens

divider from here

[1kook]

wrong place, right time

— a someway, somehow jjk x reader drabble summary “Marry me,” Jungkook says one night warning smut is mentioned in passing (jk getting tied up, gagged, crying lol, also him fingering oc), da ex girlfriend Sojin is mentioned 😨, oc is a LIL scared..... she gets over it lol rating m (18+) wc 1k

note (!) alas.... our last swsh drabble to fulfill the arc I accidentally began for them <3 rip in peaces u will be missed mrs. ‘swish’

His timing is absolutely terrible.

At first, you had wanted to believe Jungkook was the normal one, that it was you who moved according to strict imaginary schedules. Wake up at exactly 6:14am every morning, grab your keys by 6:43. Precise, exact. Jungkook and everyone else moved according to more lax rules. The auto shop opens at 9am, sometimes 9:10 if traffic is bad; it closes at 11pm or whenever the last client leaves. Compared to Jungkook, you were just too picky about timing, too strict. 

For a long time, that seemed to be accurate. 

“Marry me,” Jungkook says one night, rolled beneath an old Dodge pick-up truck that has definitely seen better days. You’re sitting off to the side, fingers flying across your phone’s keyboard as you type up an angry email. It’s muffled, the sound of his voice absorbed by the junk of metal above him. You pretend you don’t hear it. A few minutes later, he rolls out from underneath, has got a dark streak of something painted across his perfect forehead. He taps the pointed toe of your heel with a wrench. “Marry me,” he repeats. 

You balk. “You’re asking me now?” you clarify just in case, phone slowly coming to rest against your thighs. He tilts his head to the side, shrugs like he sees nothing weird about the situation. There’s no other word to explain the emotion that blooms in your chest other than completely dumbfounded. “Like… right now?” 

Jungkook’s not even looking at you anymore, too busy shuffling through his toolbox for that one weird shaped tool you see him use often. “Do you want me to ask another time?” he suggests casually. When he looks back up, he’s got this slightly confused look on his face, as if you’re the odd one. And because the moment is just so… weird you find yourself nodding along. 

And that’s that. You move on, pretend like Jungkook’s weirdly placed proposal didn’t happen, let it settle in the very back of your mind. Not like it’s hard, anyway. Your schedule is packed, clouded with meetings and deadlines, all your new roles as the department manager, and you barely have time to think about it. 

He tries again about a month later. 

“Marry me,” he gasps after a wild night beneath the sheets. There’s tender marks lining his rib cage, over his arms, around his throat. His face is still flushed, and there’s drying cum against his tummy. He might’ve cried tonight from overstimulation, but you can’t quite remember. That’s how he asks you the second time. 

For some reason, you laugh the second time. “What?” you chuckle, and maybe it was one of those protective measures, laughing in a tense situation because you don’t know what else to say. Your mind is still stuck somewhere between the gags and the cuffs and the tears and the way his skin had bruised beneath your touch. 

Jungkook rolls out his wrist— it’s red, so fucking red —and then promptly reaches for your hand. The pad of his thumb is rough from years of working, swipes across your knuckles lovingly. “Marry me,” he says, but you can’t tell if the blush on his cheeks is from his bashfulness or from the fact you had choked him a few minutes prior. “I want to marry you.”

Your brain stalls, mouth opening and closing. Jungkook doesn’t seem too bothered. He kisses your knuckles, asks you to get the salve from his drawer instead. He doesn’t mention it again that night, just lets you rub his back and goes to sleep. 

The next time comes sooner, about a week later. 

His mom mentions it one night, the three of you squeezed into the tiny kitchen of his family home as his dad snores in the other room. “Sojin is getting married,” she says, and the air is sucked out of the room. At least, it is for you. 

You try to play it off, straining your eyes to catch a glimpse of him in your peripheral. “Really,” Jungkook says, half a turkey sandwich in his mouth. He’s still in his jumpsuit from work, has it knotted around his waist in that way that makes him look extra beefy, extra sexy. “That’s crazy.”

His mom hums, and their genuine lack of emotion towards the news makes you feel like you’re the crazy one once again. “She sent an invitation.” 

She leaves the kitchen soon after, leaves you quietly stirring the sugar into your coffee as Jungkook gobbles down his sandwich. A loud gulp, the loud smack of his lips. “We should get married,” he says, and you jolt, spoon clattering loudly against the inside of your mug. 

Your brain doesn’t struggle for a response this time. That being said, it doesn’t necessarily have you giving him a good response either. “Like Sojin,” you reply, and feel weird about it immediately. Icky. Gross. Bitter. 

Apparently, Jungkook gets it. “Or we can get married in ten years,” he suggests instead, skips over your little blunder like he never heard it at all. “Or fifty.”

You appreciate it. “When I’m saggy,” you mumble, eyes hyper-focused on the mini whirlpool inside your coffee mug. 

He hums, bumps his hip against yours. “My cute, senior citizen girlfriend. We can drive one of those retro cars around town.”

The worst one yet is on the side of the road, your car battery giving out on the highway that connects the city to your hometown. Jungkook picks you up, pulls up behind you and has the audacity to catcall you as he walks up. “Hey, beautiful,” he flirts after you punch his stupidly strong bicep, grins this cheesy thing at you as he gets to work. 

In the end, your car can’t be revived with the limited tools he brought along. You settle on waiting inside his truck, snuggled beneath his jacket as you wait for the tow truck. He gets the bright idea to fondle you beneath the coat, the dying sunset painting his charming face in a romantic glow that has you seeing stars and galaxies and nebulae when you come. “Marry me,” he husks out, mouth slotted against yours. 

It’s the last time he asks; it’s the first time you say yes.

[seagreen-meets-grey]

When Lightning Strikes Ch. 17

When your life is nothing but a cloudless sky, lightning can come and strike you so unexpectedly, you won’t even know what hit you.

Or: When Hiccup and Astrid meet, it is as if lightning strikes.

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8] [Chapter 9] [Chapter 10] [Chapter 11] [Chapter 12] [Chapter 13] [Chapter 14] [Chapter 15] [Chapter 16] [Chapter 18] [Chapter 19] [Chapter 20]

Crossposted on ao3 and ff.net

_______________

“I’m in love with you.”

Fresh raindrops were hitting the windscreen in an increasing rhythm, the backdrop to her thoughts.

“I’m in love with you.”

She turned on the wipers.

“But I can’t be your friend anymore.”

His voice was haunting her, words replaying in her ears over and over, accompanied by an electric jolt stopping her heart for a beat every single time. She almost anticipated a flash of lightning on the horizon, a crack of thunder rolling through her chest.

The drive back to Berk had never felt this long, the allowed driving speed never this slow. Eyes on the road, she fumbled for her phone, managing to connect it to the car one-handed. There was a call that absolutely could not wait.

It rang a few times, then cut off. Did she have no reception here? Didn’t he? Did he decline her call? Nervously tapping her steering wheel, Astrid flung the phone onto the passenger seat. She would try again if she got stuck at a traffic light. But traffic flowed freely and not much later, she parked in the same spot as mere hours before. She couldn’t believe so little time had passed since she had gotten ready for her lunch not-date (that had totally been an unofficial date).

Dashing through the rain, she quickly made it to the front door and rang the doorbell. But after fifteen minutes of repeatedly pressing the button, she concluded that he either wasn’t home or really did not want to open the door. She tried his phone again, but it just kept ringing and ringing. Which was weird, because he had specifically asked her to call him back, hadn’t he? Why would he not answer her calls now? Had he changed his mind, was he mad that she’d just left like that?

She racked her brain for where he could be, but the weather wasn’t leaving her a lot of options. He couldn’t be at work because it was a Sunday. She didn’t know where any of his friends lived. Hell, she only knew two names, maybe three if she counted the ex-girlfriend. Perhaps he’d gone to the forest again, despite the weather?

But his car was still parked to the side. Was he home after all? She tried the doorbell again, then rang for his neighbor. They could let her in so she could pound at his door, just in case his bell wasn’t working.

“Hello?” came a grumpy voice out of the speaker.

“Ah, yes, hi. I’m trying to get a hold of your neighbor, but he’s not opening. Could you let me in, please?”

“No.”

Briefly taken aback, she blinked a couple times. “I really need to–”

“I don’t know you. If they’re not opening, I won’t either. Good day.” The speaker crackled and went silent.

“Yeah, fuck you too,” she mumbled. “You got great neighbors, man.”

He still wasn’t answering her calls. At this point, she didn’t know whether to be annoyed or worried. Texting him a quick ‘where are you????’, she returned to her car and deliberated her next step. One option was to just wait here for him to get back. Call him over and over again until she got a reaction.

“Ugh!” With a frustrated groan, she threw her head back and closed her eyes. There was a way for her to reach someone who knew him, but even if she was successful, it would be a mighty awkward phone call and she would have to swallow a bit of pride.

“I’m in love with you.”

“Dammit!” She hit her steering wheel, accidentally setting off the horn. Hopefully, it had made Hiccup’s neighbor jump.

The next call went unanswered as well, but that only boosted her determination. There was no stopping her, not so close to her happy ending. She wanted to hear his voice, wanted to look into his wonderful eyes and scream at the top of her lungs, let out all her suppressed feelings that she’d been harboring for him ever since the moment his presence had first struck her like lightning. Three words, one breath. The clear answer he needed to hear from her, the one she needed to speak out loud.

She found Dagur’s contact in her list and sent him a short text, hoping he would help her out first and ask annoying questions later. And lo and behold, twelve minutes later, she had Heather Oswald’s number.

She picked up after the fourth ring. “Hello?”

“Hi. This is Astrid Hofferson, um... We’ve met a couple times, I’m–”

“Yeah,” Heather interrupted her in a tone Astrid couldn’t decipher, “I know who you are.”

“Oh, okay. Great. Uh, I’m looking for Hiccup, actually, and he’s not home or answering his phone. You’re the only person I could get a hold of who might know where he is or…”

“I have no idea.”

“Ah, well then, do you have an idea where I could look?”

The line went silent for a moment. “Without a clue about what’s going on, it’s hard to narrow it down.”

“Oh. Well, maybe–”

“Look, Astrid?” Heather interrupted her. “I know it’s not my place to say. But Hiccup is one of my best friends and he’s been pretty depressed because of you for the past two years. He… cares about you a lot.” Astrid tried to get a word in, but Heather didn’t let herself be interrupted. “I know you two are friends, but you’re not doing him any favors as long as you’re not honest with him.

“Heather, I-”

“Whatever it is you want from him, please tell him so he can stop driving himself crazy.”

“Yes, I know, that’s why I’m looking for him!”

“You are? Good. You might not be aware of it, but you have the power to absolutely break him. I’d rather you didn’t.”

Astrid gulped. “Yeah, believe it or not, he actually has the same power over me. Why do you think I’m calling his ex-girlfriend for help?”

Heather chuckled. “I haven’t heard from him this weekend, but I can think of a few others who might have. I can give you their numbers.”

“Thank you, seriously!”

“I’m doing it for him. Good luck.”

The line went dead and Astrid let out the tension in her shoulders with a sigh of relief. She didn’t have a new lead, but she had gained new options. And she’d just gotten the dad talk from her ex’s best friend’s sister.

Her phone buzzed with a few messages from an unsaved number, sending her a few contacts. She assumed the two people with Hiccup’s last name were his parents and decided to make them her last resort since there was no need to worry them about their son being uncharacteristically unavailable. Besides, they didn’t even know her.

Discovering she actually knew the other people Heather had referred her to, she decided to call Fishlegs first, hoping for not another lecture on how to treat one of his best friends. The one had been uncomfortable enough. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Hiccup, even unintentionally. He was way too important to her, had taken root inside her heart the moment he’d first smiled at her.

She still remembered how he’d been able to make her forget about the sea of people around her in a matter of seconds, joking around about something trivial, grasping her full attention so easily she’d even blinded out her own fiancé, who’d been right there next to her. Looking back, she could only shake her head at her own stubbornness in admitting her immediate attraction and the connection that had been there from the moment their eyes had met. Her skin tingled at the memory of that bolt of lightning striking her to the core…

With a wince, she pulled herself from her daydream, concentrating on the task at hand and making the next call. Fishlegs picked up almost immediately, voice a little wary of the unknown number calling him on a Sunday evening. The horizon was darkening gradually, the last rays of sunlight drowning in the incoming wave of night, the streetlamps outside flickering on one after the other.

Fishlegs didn’t know where Hiccup was. “Maybe his phone is dead? He sometimes forgets to charge it before it’s too late.”

“Nope, it’s ringing. The signal’s getting through. Which means that’s not it.” She didn’t want to waste her time theorizing about why he wasn’t picking up. She wanted to find him, then she could ask him and punch him for leaving her hanging like this. “But do you know where he could have gone on a Sunday night while it’s raining?”

“Hm. You say his car is home?”

“Yes.”

“Well, Snotlout lives nearby, that’s an old friend of his–”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know him.” Tucking her phone between her jaw and shoulder, she started her car. “Where does he live?”

Fishlegs gave her the directions and offered to stay on the phone so she could keep him updated, but she quickly thanked him and hung up before pulling out of her parking spot. This was the worst scavenger hunt ever. At least she could cross calling Snotlout off her list.

Severely hoping to either catch Hiccup this time or at least get a solid lead, she pushed the doorbell ten seconds long and then hit it repeatedly in a short span of time until she heard the static of the receiver.

“Whoever the fuck you are, fuck you. Hiccup, is that you? I want my jacket.” Well, so much for finding Hiccup here.

“No, it’s Astrid, we met once, I think you tried to flirt with me.”

“Wait, the Astrid? Hot Astrid? Hot-strid?”

“Call me that again and you’ll find out how hot my fist is!”

“Okay, okay.” She noted with satisfaction how he was trying to cover up that he was intimidated. “What are you doing here? Came here to get a taste of the Snotman?”

Deciding to ignore his immediate new attempt at flirting (she would handle that another time, for sure), she just rolled her eyes. “Have you seen Hiccup?”

Expecting the same answer she got from everyone else, she was surprised when he said, “Yep. He was here.”

“When?” She jumped on the information, leaning closer to the receiver.

“I don’t know, some time in the past couple hours? I was busy, I don’t check the clock on a Sunday.”

“Did he say where he was going?”

“Out.” Oh, she wanted to break the door in and slap him.

“But where, Snotlout?!” A dog started barking very closely to the intercom, making Astrid flinch away.

“Shut up, Hookfang! I don’t know, he wouldn’t tell me. Sit, you dumb dog! He just came by for a jacket, he was kinda drenched. Pretty stupid, actually, because he had an umbrella and it wasn’t even raining when I looked outside.”

She bit her lip and frowned. So he was out somewhere, probably still in the rain. Great, so she just had to drive through town and search all the streets of Berk until she found him. At least she had some kind of solid plan now.

“Thanks, Snotlout.”

His answer was drowned out by the barking dog, then the intercom fell silent with a crackling static, but she was already sprinting back to her car. She tried calling Hiccup again, but then gave up with a groan; she wouldn’t reach him. He hadn’t read her text yet, either. So what now, call his parents if he had walked there? She didn’t even know if they lived in Berk.

Reaching for her phone again, she replayed his message. The butterflies tumbled through her stomach again when he said the five words she would never grow tired of hearing. There was the sound of traffic and rain in the background, but that didn’t help a lot, so she replayed it again. And there it was, another lead – he said he’d been at her parents’ place, looking for her. Of course! Maybe he’d mentioned more to whoever had answered the door.

She sped through town, parking right in front of the front door, something her father hated. But right now, she couldn’t care less. Fumbling with the keys for a minute, she pushed the door open and yelled into the house.

“Mom! Dad! Anyone?!”

Her father stuck his head through the door to the living room, glass of wine in hand, wearing his comfy couch pants. “Hello, daughter. We were wondering if you were still showing up for dinner.”

“Sorry, I forgot to cancel, I had something important to do.” She trudged down the hallway to the living room, leaving dirty footprints on the floor.

“Astrid, your shoes!” her father chided her, but she ignored it.

“Was Hiccup here?”

“Who?”

Her mother turned around on the couch. “Yes, your boyfriend was here. He was looking for you.”

Astrid scooched by her dad who almost spilled his wine. “When? What did he say?”

Wilma clucked her tongue in disapproval, shaking her head at her daughter’s wet shoes, two steps from the new carpet.

“Mom.”

Frederick put a hand on her shoulder, holding his glass out of her reach. “Why don’t you take your shoes off and join us? This crime thriller is very entertaining and there’s more wine in the fridge–”

“Mom!”

“Like I said, he was looking for you. I don’t remember when, but it was still light outside. He didn’t say what he wanted, though, and left as soon as I said you weren’t here.”

“Who?” Frederick repeated, confusion written clearly on his face. “The young man you spoke to earlier? What was that about a boyfriend?”

Astrid didn’t have time for explanations to be exchanged. “Which direction did he leave in? This is very, very important, mom!”

“What’s going on, dear? Why don’t you–”

Astrid rolled her eyes with an impatient growl, contemplating threatening to wipe her feet on the carpet if her mother didn’t just come across with the information, but figured that would only spark an entirely different discussion. “Mom, I swear – please just tell me, please!” The desperation had to be showing in her eyes because her mother gave in with a sigh.

“Down the street to Marram Lane, he was on foot so my guess is he was heading for the bus.”

That didn’t make her chase any less frustrating, but it was better than nothing. “Anything else?”

“No–”

“Okay, thanks, bye!” She dashed past her dad who took a surprised step back. Before the front door closed behind her, she could hear him complain about his spilled wine on the new carpet.

Jumping into her car, she deliberated showing Hiccup’s profile picture to every bus driver she could catch, until one of them remembered him and where he got off the bus. But chances were he’d taken the route home and was already back there while she was looking for bread crumbs all over Berk. So she decided on one last attempt. If he didn’t open his door now, she would go home and probably not sleep all night.

If it hadn’t been for the red light near the park, she would have missed it. Tapping her finger against the steering wheel, she absentmindedly glanced outside while waiting for green.

It was the jacket that caught her eye. Chipped print of faded red flames climbing up the dark sleeves, wide and short on a body too tall and lean for the cut. It was him.

The umbrella shaded him from the light of the streetlamps, but she immediately made out the wild auburn hair, the line of his jaw, the slope of his nose, eyes cast down. He was heading for the park, on a shortcut to his house that she couldn’t take with her car.

A honk from behind her alerted her to the green light and she stepped on it, crossing the intersection and pulling over onto the sidewalk as soon as she got the chance to.

She ran, only just bothering to lock her car. The rain was coming down in buckets and she splashed her entire right leg when she stepped in an overly large puddle, but that wouldn’t slow her down.

“Hey!” she yelled. “Hiccup! Wait!”

He had almost disappeared behind the next corner and a few trees when he suddenly stopped and turned around. “Astrid?”

Panting, she came to a stop. “Finally. I looked- I looked everywhere for you.”

“Oh- oh yeah. I’m so sorry.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and showed her the screen. There was a large crack right down the middle and her unsuccessful calls finally made sense. He hadn’t been suddenly ghosting her, after all. “Did… Um, did you get my…”

“I got your message.” Her instincts told her to just grab him and haul him in for a kiss like she’d wanted to for so long, but he’d asked her to talk and she wouldn’t make any rash moves; there was just too much on the line.

For a beat, he looked at her nervously, before he noticed the water running down her face, darkening her hair and clothes. He stepped closer, holding his umbrella over the two of them.

“Thanks.” She wiped wet strands of hair out of her face. Every now and then, a gust of wind blew cold rain underneath the umbrella like a lawn sprinkler that had lost its rhythm. She was exhausted. She’d had a very long day.

It didn’t escape her how his eyes briefly dropped down her face, awakening the memories of his lips brushing hers earlier that day, numbing the tips of her fingers for the fraction of a second, before he averted his face. “I’m sorry if I sprung all this on you, but…”

“No, I’m the one who has to apologize.” His eyes settled back on hers and the shiver running down her spine had nothing to do with the weather. “You were absolutely right, I had been running from my conflicts, and my feelings. I went home to talk to Eret.” She took a deep breath. “We decided to break up.”

His eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, I… Was… Was it true, then? About him and…”

“Dana? That wasn’t what I thought it was. You were right about that, too.”

“Well, I’ll have you know I am always right about everything,” he said with a one-shouldered shrug and the hint of a shy grin.

“Hmm, sure.” Her lips were twitching and the invisible string attached to her heart was pulling at her chest. The rain was cold and the heat his body was emanating was driving her insane. The proximity to him, the way he was looking at her, the light of the streetlamps reflecting golden specks in his deep green eyes sending a parade of tingles over her skin. “He hadn’t been cheating on me any more than I cheated on him.”

His brows furrowed; head cocked to the side ever so slightly.

“Emotionally. Not with Dana. And that’s only one of the reasons me and him didn’t work out.”

Shaking his head, his frown deepened. “So… What does that mean now? Astrid, why are you here?”

She mirrored his expression. “Because you wanted to talk–”

“No, I mean, why are you here? In the rain, soaked to the bone? You could have called later, or tomorrow, or any other time.”

“No, I couldn’t,” she replied, trying to lay all the sincerity she felt into her voice. “Like I said, I’ve been running away for way too long.” The world began to blur around her, the traffic and the rain faded, vision narrowing in on him, capturing his gaze so intently, it caused her palms to sweat and her hands to start shaking from the intensity. “I love you. Okay? I love you! I want to be with you, Hiccup! I- I love you.” Her heart was rapidly pumping liquid lightning through her veins from finally saying the words out loud.

The earth stopped spinning as she looked at him, waiting for a reaction. His lips were slightly parted, eyes posing as windows to his soul, alive and starry, burning into her like fireworks into the summer night. With bated breath, knees weakening under his gaze, she felt the electricity buzz around her, charging for the final blow. Seconds passed, small eternities, in which she couldn’t move, the current pinning her to the spot.

Then, he suddenly surged forward, grabbing her face with both hands, and lightning crashed through her as they finally connected in a blinding flash of blue and white. Her chest exploded; high voltage was coursing through her every nerve, every vein, blood alive, heart pounding in sync with his; it was like their souls were magnets, caught in each other’s magnetic field, too strong to disconnect.

Her heart was soaring, quaking, pulsating, the world empty but for them. Their heavy breaths and the deafening thunder in her soul the only sound reaching her ears. Space and time became foreign concepts, the universe narrowing down to where they stood, hands roaming over shoulders, necks, limbs and through hair, unable to linger, always seeking out more, lips chasing lips.

She had to hold onto him as the ground disappeared underneath her feet and she went falling, flying, tumbling through the clouds. Her stomach was doing somersaults, backflips, pirouettes; the lightning strike had left her blind. She couldn’t get enough of his touch, lungs screaming for air, but she couldn’t care less about breathing, reconnecting with his lips after every hasty intake of air, drowning in the feeling of wonder, of pure euphoria.

The only thing she knew to be real was the warmth of his body, the passion that let their lips collide over and over again until she felt dizzy from the lack of oxygen and the intense electric current running through their bodies like one.

Eyes still closed, they eventually parted for much required air, their foreheads touching, breaths mingling. Her hands were slowly sliding from his neck, resting over his erratic heartbeat, mirroring hers. His fingers trailed down her spine, settling around her waist.

“Did you feel that?” Her voice was shaking.

“The lightning?”

Her eyes fluttered open and her chest swelled with affection at the raw emotion in his eyes and the fact that he felt as much for her as she did for him. She nodded with a gulp.

“I did.” He lifted a hand to her face, gently wiping something hot and salty from her cheek that she hadn’t even noticed herself. “Is this real?”

“I certainly hope so.”

“Hey, if not, at least we’re stuck in the same dream, right?”

“Right.” Getting lost in his gaze again, she blinked when he suddenly cleared his throat and looked around, as if remembering that there was a whole universe out of their wonderful, perfect little bubble.

“We should probably go someplace dry.” The umbrella was discarded somewhere on the ground, dirty and forgotten. “I keep getting drenched today, how is that?!”

The laughter breaking out of her and the look he gave her in return were nothing short of breathtaking, and she wondered if she was ever going to get used to that, already addicted to everything about him, everything he was doing to her. “My car is back there.” She pointed in a general direction over her shoulder.

“Okay.” He leaned down and softly pecked her lips again, followed by another toe-curling, heart-stopping, world-shaking kiss, slow and deep, her fingers clutching at his soaked shirt. Their noses brushed, wet and cold. “Okay,” he repeated himself in a whisper and stepped away enough to entwine their hands, starting towards where she had pointed.

The skin of their interlaced fingers was frigid, but Astrid did not feel the cold. She just felt… free.

His thumb brushed over her knuckles as she steered him back to her car and the contact crackled through her nerves like an inextinguishable fire. Just this morning, she’d been shaken by her own confession to herself, still anxious over the fight she’d had with Hiccup the day before. Entire lifetimes had passed since then.

Glancing at him, she caught his eyes and the blinding smile on his lips. Oh, those lips. She had discovered a new drug and she was already high on it. With a weak fist, she punched his shoulder. “That’s for breaking your phone.” He blushed, rubbing his neck with his free hand. With her own, she fished her car keys from her uncomfortably wet jeans, pushing the button and glancing over him once more. “And what the hell are you wearing?!”

_______________

- End of Part 2 -

_______________

[yuzukult]

under the moonlight ii (m) || junmyeon & reader

title: under the moonlight ii pairing: junmyeon/suho x reader genre: ceo!reader, hint of soulmate!au, a lil bit of smut but barely notes: enjoy! this is the final part (also second part) of under the moonlight! this is one of my favorites to write, although i did not feel like i did my best on the first part, i tried even harder on this portion. 

will also proofread later, i just am content to be done !!! lmao part one || final

Junmyeon describes his first love as a city— the towering buildings that surround each other, the bustling of traffic, and the abundance of people that populate the sidewalk on an everyday basis. She’s a beauty who’s besieged by people— both friends and family, and a social butterfly without realizing. She kept herself busy as an architect, constantly producing new designs, revising old ones. He says she’s a dream chaser yet loved the simple things about life. It had been one of the things he admired most about her. 

The words he said to her when he decided to let her go was along the lines of: Chanyeol had been the light in her city. Junmyeon considered himself the stars— under the moonlight in the luminous city, you don’t see the stars because the lights are blinding. The beauty of the stars doesn’t do justice in the city.

You think Junmyeon isn’t in the stars. You think he’s been the moonlight all along, the light you see even in the illuminated city. They just weren’t willing to take a chance on something that seemed impossible.

Your memory is hazy on how you got here, but you’re sitting on your desk, skirt hiked up to your stomach with Junmyeon’s head in between your legs. His skin under the moonlight glistens with beauty, and you can’t help but repeatedly tell yourself how lucky you are that you are soulmates with this man. Everything about Junmyeon makes you feel like you’re on cloud 9. Fingers intertwining with his soft brown locks and palm against the foggy glass table, your breath hitches in your throat as he sticks in another finger into your heat.

“Junmyeon!”

Pulling away, he grins innocently with his lips glistening with your juices, he makes you think how insane you look compared to him. How could he look so pure after doing the dirtiest thing to you in your office? Anyone who has ever rejected him in this lifetime must feel like he’s the one who got away. As if the sex in the bedroom isn’t enough, he’s bold enough to do it in the office.

Thankfully, Junmyeon isn’t too risky, just risky enough. It’s Friday and everyone on the floor has gone home early, now the time being 6:00pm, it’s just the two of you. It started off innocent— Junmyeon bringing you a cup of tea and some biscuits since you found yourself stuck here for another night with another launch for a new line coming out soon. He’d always been supportive, if not more now, after dating for half a year, and never failed to swoon you.

“You look stressed,” He said, rounding your desk with a mischievous look hanging on his lips.

“Junmyeon... no.”

“You haven’t even been home that often lately, let me help you unwind.”

And after a couple glares, he pouts and immediately has you under his spell.

“Fuck, Junmyeon, just take your goddamn fingers out of me and pull your dick out your pants so you can fuck me on my desk.”

“Weren’t you just shooting daggers at me with your eyes earlier telling me no?” He raises a brow teasing but complies with your instruction anyways, standing in front of you, unbuckling his belt and tugging his zipper down. Demands from you always deserved a comeback response but he never failed to abide by your needs.

“Well, we’re already in too deep anyways so let’s just go all the way.”

Pulling himself out his pants, his eyes are hooded as he presses his forehead against yours while you wrap your legs around his waist, dragging him closer. He looks heavenly like this; hair disheveled with his shirt unbuttoned all the way, exposing his well-built chest, and his tie disappeared somewhere in the room. You’re thankful he’s been heading to the gym with his friends lately because all you want to do is lick his abs, despite how weird you feel about it but Junmyeon doesn’t reject your wants and lets you do it anyway.

He’s pumping himself while his cloudy gaze meets yours, lips parted and swollen. Groaning, you grab him closer with your legs as he stumbles with a chuckle at your eagerness. “Take it easy, baby.”

“Junmyeon, I swear to god if you don’t finish what you started— oh fuck,” he’s tired of your complaining and plunges himself into you sharply, interrupting your nagging. Albeit the fact you’re always debating with him about things, he still loves you nonetheless and drools at the sight of you, especially right now with how your skin glimmers in sweat under the lights of your office.

Junmyeon’s face is nuzzled into your neck, gently biting and sucking on the skin while humming against you as his hips thrust in and out of you harshly. You’re trying to stay quiet, but the way his body moves against yours and how much he stretches you is overwhelming that you’re suddenly thankful Johnny agrees to take an early leave today or else you’d never hear the end of it.

Grabbing your legs from behind him, he unravels you from his body before pushing you down further on the desk, your legs up closer to your frame as he pounds harder. “Shit,” he mutters under his breath. “How are you still so tight? Stop clenching, I might cum too fast.”

“Isn’t that that the point?” You snarled, arms around his neck as you caress his nape. “I have work to get done tonight.”

Lifting your body from the desk with his hands under your thighs, he’s carrying you effortlessly to another part of the room, shoving you against the wall before quickening his pace. Unable to hold back your moans, your hands shift to his shoulder, grasping onto the broadness of it. “I also have work to get done tonight, and it’s to make you cum first.”

He made you release twice after that before letting himself reach his own high.

Outside of the bedroom—except it was in your office today— Junmyeon was a soft boyfriend. He was everything that you had wished Eunwoo was and you didn’t need to mold him to have those qualities, he already had them. You weren’t entirely sure if it was the biological effects of finding out that he’s your soulmate, but you’re glad it’s him.

Straightening your skirt after a sinful session, you look up and see Junmyeon already sprawled on your office chair, trying to catch his breath. “Why are you panting so hard? You said you’ve been working out lately and uh... it’s evident on your body.”

He raises a brow teasingly before letting out a chuckle between his breaths. “I see you’ve been checking me out lately. Just had a big lunch was all.”

“Big lunch?”

“Well you took that guy out from HR to lunch today, and I figured since I wasn’t going to eat with you, I should grab something for myself.”

“... you went alone?” You’re mimicking his expression now with your brows lifted in question.

“... well,” He’s running his fingers through his luscious damp locks from his sweat. “I went with Hana and Johnny.”

Squinting your eyes at your other half, you cross your arms against your chest as he watches you carefully. “What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Shrugging your shoulders, you lean against the desk that he had just fucked you senseless on moments ago, only for you to regain the authority yet again. “Hana? As in, Lee Hana?”

“What about her?”

“She doesn’t like me.” You frown, shoulders drooping. Junmyeon lets out a light laugh, pushing the chair into your direction before sitting your legs in between his thighs. “So what? Johnny and I like you.”

“She complains about me to you guys. Plus, I think she has a tiny crush on you.” Although you and Junmyeon had been meeting frequently for lunch, it’d always be away from the office. Keeping the relationship a secret between his colleagues was an agreement set in place once you’d officially started dating him, but it was getting a bit difficult once you realized how many girls actually ogled at the sight of him.

Pressing his lips against the back of your hand, he then puts the palm of it to rest on his cheek. “I’m not quite catching on what you’re saying.”

“You don’t know that she likes you? Ugh, Junmyeon—“

“No, I meant that I know she does, and was very persistent about taking me to lunch, so I asked Johnny to join me. So what if she likes me? I have you.”

“She doesn’t know that,” You snarled, eyes darting at him. “She’s going to think you’re available.”

He shakes his head, gifting your palm a kiss. “She can think whatever she wants. I have you and you’re all I need.”

There’s silence in the room for a moment as you’re shuffling through your thoughts before shattering the glass of quietude. “Are you mad that we’re keeping this a secret?”

His eyes search the meaning behind the question in your orbs, observing your expression. “I’m not mad.”

“Disappointed?”

“No, I just... forget sometimes.” He admits, pecking the skin of your thigh gently before leaning back in the seat. “I want to give you a kiss before heading out the office some days and I get the urge but stop midway. Sometimes I want to see your face once you get the flowers I send you on other days and deliver them myself but I know I can’t. But there’s no need to be mad about it.”

A wash of regret cascades over your face as you frown at your significant other. Junmyeon was an embodiment of a gentleman; patiently waiting for you even though your schedule had always been packed, delivering food during those restless hours, cleaning your home so when you got back after days sleeping in the office, you had less responsibilities to tend to... he was actually perfect.

Maybe that was also his flaw. He was too perfect. Was it everyone or just you that seems to be drawn to men who women always sought after?

“What’s this?” Junmyeon asks, standing beside Johnny in your office with a hand in his slacks’ pocket. His other hand was occupied by his phone, holding up the email invitation to a company banquet. “Why am I suddenly invited to this?”

“And the better question is why am I invited to this?” Johnny adds.

“It’s a company banquet, hence the word company. Everyone in the company is invited, guys. What’s so hard to understand about that?”

Johnny drops his body on the leather couch, plopping his legs on the table as you grimace after the sight. “We’ve never had something like this before. Why suddenly now?”

“Remember that guy I had lunch with from HR last week?”

The two men glance at each other before responding at the same time. “Yeah?”

Leaning against the desk, crossing your arms over your chest, you continue. “He suggested we do something like this. Would be good for... company bonding or something.”

“Don’t we see each other enough?” Johnny snaps, Junmyeon chuckling at his response. “I think what he means is, are you sure that enough people would be of attendance?”

“Well, I invited the top investors to come, too. They’re copied on the email, so hopefully people will see and RSVP?”

Johnny is mute briefly before quietly asking, “Will that guy from that record company we talked about be there?” 

Tapping your finger against your chin, you playfully look around your room, feigning in thought. “Possibly. If you attend, you’d know.” Johnny looks over at Junmyeon with a bright smile glued to his face before waving. “Well, I’m sold. You’re in it alone, brother. Deuces!” Peacing out, Johnny shuts the door behind him as Junmyeon sighs, shaking his head. “And now I’m alone.”

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“You really want to do a whole banquet?” He asks, locking his phone and sliding it back into his pocket. “You’re already so stressed out. Why would you want to arrange a large event like this around the same time span as the launch?”

He’s worried. Junmyeon isn’t mad about the event, he’s concerned about your workload and how you’d be able to juggle between taking care of yourself and dealing with the launch, including the event.

“Come on, you know I have to do something for the people here.”

“No, you don’t. At least, you can do it later, so why now?” You shrug, slouching in your position. “I don’t know. It just feels lately like nothing is enough.”

“Oh baby,” He frowns, making his way to you with his hands cupping your cheeks. “You’re enough. You’re more than enough for me. You’re an amazing boss, and John out there can vouch for that. You don’t need to overwork yourself just to prove something.”

“Doesn’t matter anyways. The invitation is out and already done.”

“Okay, so new problem requires a new solution. Hire a team, or better yet, ask the HR department to plan the banquet. I’m sure they’d be more than happy to do it, just give them a budget and I’m sure they won’t fail you.”

You freeze. The idea of delegating freaked you out a little. Or a lot.

“Junmyeon.” He reiterates the tone after yours, stating your name. “That’s... quite a lot I’m giving up here.”

“Yeah, you’re also giving up your health in the process. You’re still young— yes, and incredibly young at that— but keep in mind that you don’t have a successor in mind. If you’re not healthy, imagine who potentially could sit in your seat and manage the entire company. I can almost 100% guarantee to you that you would not be happy with who they may select.”

You groan frustratedly, standing straight before digging your face into his chest, muffling your own words. “It should be me doing all of this.”

He shakes his head. “You just think that it should be you.”

Trapped behind your desk, you’ve still managed to take a transient break from all your tasks. Tapping your fingers against the table, and swirled by your contemplations, remorse fills your face at the memory of Junmyeon the other day, speaking genuinely about how he felt as though he couldn’t truly express his love for you publicly. Suddenly, an idea comes to mind.

Quickly typing in a web address, you click on several items into your order before punching in your credit card info. Leaning back after the “order confirmation” pulls up, you grin in content.

“Flowers for Junmyeon?”

Junmyeon’s head peeks from his cubicle at the sound of his name, furrowing his brows in confusion. “Uh, I’m Junmyeon,” He says as he gets up from his seat, walking over to the delivery man. “You sure this is for me? And not from?” Did he make a mistake? He didn’t recall making any orders today.

“Says to Junmyeon and... from...” At the sound of your name escaping from the delivery man’s lips, Junmyeon’s eyes irradiates. “Wait— really?”

“Who is sending you flowers?” Hana approaches from behind, attempting to see over Junmyeon’s shoulder by standing on the tips of her toes. With the note in his hand, he swiftly slides it into his pocket, looking over at the female immaculately. “Uh, secret admirer.”

She rolls her eyes. “Oh come on, oppa. Let me see.”

He shakes his head in response. “I told you, it’s from a secret admirer.”

“Junmyeon! We’re friends here. Let me see!”

“It’s from me.” You stop in the midst of your tracks in the middle of the aisle of cubicles after the delivery man makes an exit. Adjusting the folders and binders in your arms, you hum. “I got Junmyeon the flowers.”

“Do you need help?” Junmyeon steers away from the topic, hands aiming to take some of the items in your hands. “No, I’m okay. Do you like the arrangement I picked out? And did you see the note?”

“Of course I saw the note,” He says, voice quiet. “But let’s talk about that later. We’re at work.”

“I don’t care. Doesn’t affect my work ethic nor yours, so why does it matter to anyone else?”

Hana’s mouth is agape during the conversation, bowing when you recognize her presence. “Hi, boss. Uh, you sent Junmyeon the flowers?”

“Yes, I’m asking him out to the company banquet.”

“Like... as a date?”

You nod at her direction. “As a date.”

“Oh... I was going to ask Junmyeon. Maybe he can decide which of us he wants to take?” She suggests, shoulders shrugging. “No offense, but isn’t it kind of weird if an employee goes with their boss? Don’t know if Junmyeon is uncomfortable...” Her eyes trail at the end of the sentence to read the expression on his face, only to see him with his gaze holding onto yours.

“He’s not uncomfortable, are you, Junmyeon? You can tell me honestly. If not, HR is always down the hall.”

Junmyeon sighs, taking some of the binders from you, regardless of your refusal. “Of course not.” He glances over at Hana with an apologetic look before giving her a half bow. “I’m sorry, Hana. I’m going to excuse myself.”

“Consider who you’re taking, will you?”

Pausing for a moment in silence before taking a glimpse at you, he chews on his bottom lip anxiously. “I’m taking her, I’m sorry. It’s a no brainer for me— always.”

She scoffs. “Is it because she’s the CEO? You’re not feeling pressured, are you? Because if this is a bigger issue than it seems, we should go to HR. She shouldn’t be treating you like this, it isn’t fair—“

“We’re dating.” He finally admits, the red flushing his cheeks. “We’ve been dating a couple months now.”

“You’re fucking dating. What did she threaten you with?”

“Why do you think I have to threaten him in order for him to like me?” You question, genuinely curious. She seemed to have been very persistent with her stance.

She looks at you with a stare that reads ‘is it not obvious’ but you’re honestly uncertain what she’s going to say next. “You’re here hours of the night. You rarely ever go home, reject that guy who keeps coming to ask you out for lunch— don’t think we don’t know— and he finally gave up on you and now you’ve come running to someone else? Don’t you think you seem a little desperate?”

“Desperate for what? I liked her first.”

“But did she ask you out first?”

“Yeah, but—“

“Don’t you feel tricked, Jun oppa?” The nickname she gives him brings heat to your ears but you hold your composure. “Does she even make time for you? Does she even care for you? I mean— you’re even keeping this a secret from everyone, especially your friends.”

You feel so small. Ever since becoming CEO of your own company, you’ve had moments where people talked down on you but never an employee. You’d always tried to establish a good relationship between them and yourself, gaining some level of respect, but for the first time, someone confronted you in this type of manner and you’re unsure how to approach the situation.

“Stop, Hana.” Junmyeon says, interrupting her rant of questions. “My work friends don’t know. My personal life friends? All of them know, she has met them all. I don’t mind that she works so late and so frequently, it doesn’t bother me, but I do worry that it’ll deteriorate her health. Hana, you’re a nice friend and a great person. I know you are, but you speaking about her this way makes me second guess that.”

Fuming, she snags the bouquet of flowers you’ve sent him and slams it into the ground. “How dare you talk to me like that?”

“Hana, please go and cool down. I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret.” You advise, trying to grab back your possessions from Junmyeon. “I have a meeting to head to. I’ll catch you later.”

“Why’d you have to send it during office hours?”

You’re brewing tea in your small, cozy apartment downtown in Seoul, just enough space for yourself. Although a penthouse fit your budget, you knew the home would be too quiet and lonely for you.

“You mentioned how sometimes you forget we’re hiding it from people. I just wanted to do something nice for you. You’re always getting me things and taking care of me.”

Watching you from the couch, he ruffles his end of day hair with remains of gel in it. The top few buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned and his belt is already off, legs laying on the foot rest. “Baby, you already do so much for me. You’re you, keeping me company and making me happy. And didn’t I already tell you that it’s okay we’re hiding it?”

“Okay, but why does it feel like that’s it? That’s all I have to offer you and I’m even making you keep this a secret.”

“I have a job because of you. I’m happy because of you.”

“But that’s not me— that’s my title, Junmyeon. The CEO me gave you a job, not the personal life me. How am I contributing anything to you? Hana makes a point, you know. I should be threatening you with something to date me, or else it wouldn’t make any sense because I have nothing to offer you.”

“Baby...” His voice is softer now albeit his steps are getting closer to you, wrapping his arms around your frame from behind. “You’re enough. Stop thinking you aren’t. You’re such a confident woman, yet at the same time you want to make everyone happy but it’s exhausting you out.”

“Making people happy makes me happy.”

“Be happy that you’re happy.”

“I— I am happy with myself. I achieved my dreams, I even met my soulmate.”

“Then what’s wrong?” His forehead crinkles in confusion.

“I just... want to be enough for you. Money and materialistic items aren’t things that impress you. You were so in love with a girl who had already met her soulmate and let her go when you weren’t ready. I’m afraid I can’t get you to love me up to that par. Everything we have is biological.”

Though your tone is serious, he manages to let out a chuckle. “Is that what you’re worried about? I was in love with you way before knowing any of that stuff. Chanyeol used to have dreams about her yet he still didn’t love her until later. He took his time, but eventually loved her for her. This whole soulmate thing is unpredictable and you know that. You were in that research thing.”

“Research group,” You correct, turning off the gas knob when the kettle sings.

“Research group,” he clarified, bringing your body to face him. “You are my soulmate, period. But before knowing that, you were my boss who I had a major crush on. I stayed those nights in your office and had dinners with you on that annoying wobbly coffee table— which I want to point out, you have enough money to replace— and you still think that way? You let me experience my dreams without even knowing my capabilities, you believed in me when I didn’t. You’ve given me constructive criticism, disagreed with me, and yet still stayed through those heated arguments. Our love languages are different. I’m truly happy what you’ve given me.”

“Are you sure?” 

“More than anything.” He bumps his forehead into yours before leaning in to peck the tip of your nose. “Please trust me.”

Junmyeon has on a black suit that matches the material of your midnight dark off-the-shoulder dress that lengths down pass your legs. He’s the resemblance of Prince Charming— an asian doppelganger, to say the least. Hair recently dyed brown and slicked back with a new cut, he has a way of effortlessly handsome in the most simplistic way.

“Hey, love.” He has a grin wider than the Cheshire Cat, but is the opposite of the character— heart warm for everyone and tugging on their heartstrings just from his smile. Junmyeon has a way of looking at you as if you’re the heroine to his story when in reality, he’s the one who has saved you.

“Hey,” You say airily; the sight of him dressed so formally has the breath taken out of your lungs. “You look good.”

“Thank you, you look even better.” Arms wide with invitation, you comply and shuffle close to him. “When did you get this lovely dress? I’ve never seen you wear it before.”

“You act like we go to black tie events on a daily basis.”

Pulling you close in his embrace, he puckers his lips. Abiding by his request, you gift him a quick peck. “We don’t, but I wish you wore this for me. You look... ravishing.”

“Ravishing?”

“Yes, that’s what I said. Ravishing. You look great, baby. Come, let’s head out.”

“I—“ Hand wrapped around Junmyeon’s wrist after he turns to exit, he flips back with a curious gaze. “What’s wrong, bubby?”

“What if Hana told everyone by now? I haven’t exactly been in the office for a few days with all the meetings that have been going on... what will they think of me?”

“Of you dating? Nothing, you’re a grown woman. You can date.”

You look at him sternly. “No, I meant of me dating an employee. They’re going to think I’m trying to exploit you or something.”

He sighs, hands on your cheeks as he pushes them together to purse your lips. “I don’t really know what’s going to happen. I have some privilege as a man because no one is going to say anything to me, but I know they’ll make some sly comments at you about it. Regardless, know that those people don’t matter. You’re a successful woman who is respectful and kind toward everyone, and her being bitter shouldn’t effect us.”

You’re internally freaking out. The moment you step into the venue, you’re too scared to even fully absorb and admire the work that the HR department made, watching the gazes of those around you. Despite the fact that the man linking arms with yours was the most beautiful person anyone has ever seen, the eyes of those in the room lock onto your figure. It was hard to tell the difference between their judging stares or if it’s because of your position in the company.

 Right on cue, Junmyeon leans over and whispers in your ear. “They’re looking at you because of how beautiful you are.”

Johnny is practically prancing on his route toward you, smile stretching from cheek to cheek as he pulls you into his embrace. He sings your name before separating himself from the hug, pinching the tip of your nose. “Shit, you’re gorgeous. Junmyeon is lucky to be by your side or else I would have snagged you by now.” He teases, but you’re rolling your eyes in response.

“I’m still standing here, you know,” Junmyeon eyes the younger male.

“Aw, hyung, are you jealous?”

“Tsk, John Suh—“

“Hyung!” Another voice chimes in, the three of your heads swerving to the sound to meet with the group of people walking in your direction as you turn your gaze to meet with Junmyeon’s. “I forgot to mention, I invited your friends.”

You notice that Junmyeon’s body stiffens. His heart stopped at the sight, but his hand reaches for yours, tightening the grip. 

His first love.

Chanyeol has his hand resting on her lower back as she makes her way through the crowd amongst the rest of Junmyeon’s friend crew. Her beautiful silk dress hangs on her body loosely, tightening and complimenting her curves when needed most. Her captivating looks had your own heart clenching and you realize what you had been up against the entire time.

The stories Junmyeon shares about his first love now has a face to the name, and the acceptance of their moments has disappeared just from looking at her. She was breathtaking to that point that she’s stolen Johnny’s attention as well.

Quickly, Junmyeon melts from being frozen and greet his friends, and you follow in suit. You learn her name, and hearing her repeat yours reminds you that her voice does sound smooth and sweet like honey, and you can’t even hate her because of how kind she is. 

“I heard that you guys found out that you’re soulmates,” She says with a smile, and you could kill for cheekbones like hers. 

“We are,” He responds, tugging on your hand to bring you closer. “We liked each other first then realized that we both have the same markings.”

“Convenient,” She chuckles, turning to glance at Chanyeol who stands by her side. Despite all the denying Chanyeol had went through before, it wasn’t evident now because his eyes were filled with love when they meet with hers. “A lot easier than what I went through with this guy.” She fixated her stare back at Junmyeon, voice filled with genuine as she speaks. “I’m happy you found someone who can make you happy.”

Later on, she meets with you privately as the rest of the gang follows Junmyeon around and they share loud conversations and laughs with each other.

“Hey,” She says, voice soft and gentle. “I just... wanted to thank you.”

“For what?” Perplexity is written on your face as you casually grab two champagne glasses from a server walking by, handing one to her as she takes willingly.

“For... loving Junmyeon. I... loved him before and I couldn’t fully give him what he wanted because of Chanyeol.”

Waving your hand in dismissal, you shake your head in unison. “No, thank you. If... you stayed even though Junmyeon wanted to let you go, I don’t think I would have ever met him. I would’ve never met my own soulmate, and... I don’t think I’d be as happy as I am now.” Almost on sign, Junmyeon’s in mid-laugh across the room, chatting with his friends as his tender gaze meets yours. 

“Well, he’s just as happy, if not more. So, thank you, really. He deserves the world for letting go of someone he loved just for the sake of his best friend’s happiness. He’s a selfless guy.”

The night is long; you’re constantly talking to investors and potential investors, meeting new and old people as well as trying to keep up with all of your employees that attended. The turn-out is better than expected (well, better than Johnny expected), and you congratulate the HR team on a job well done.

“Ah, thanks, boss... it means a lot to us that you’re saying this.” You scoff, drink in hand before reaching up to pinch the cheek of the younger male.

“Call me noona. You did a great job, Mark, it deserves to be recognized. Keep it up and you’ll see a promotion headed your way.” Mark’s face flushes pink at your actions and words, bowing in appreciation. “Thank you, Noona!”

“Can I snag your noona away from you?” 

“Oh— Hey Hyung! Of course. She’s all yours.” Mark smiles giddily, and you’re unsure if the last sentence is in reference to your relationship, or that he was willing to give your attention back to Junmyeon’s.

“Hey, you tired?” His face is always full of concern when he watches you, but you feel like a princess when he surveils your face for a response with all the attentiveness. You shake your head in response. “No, I’m okay. It’s nice knowing that nobody is giving me a hard time.”

“Speaking of that...” Your furrow your brows in confusion. “I talked to Hana just now.”

“Oh?”

“She’s... unhappy, for sure. But more angry that I didn’t even give her a shot. I’ve known her before you and I guess she had been pursuing me since then but I’ve always had my eyes on you.”

Chewing on your bottom lip anxiously, you tap your feet on the ground. “So... now what?”

“Nothing.” He chuckles, hand resting on your lower back as he pulls you near. “Don’t care about what she says. She’s an employee first, an angry girl who has a crush on your boyfriend second. All you should care about is yourself, and how much I love you for being you.”

Everything he says before the phrase falls out the other ear. “You love me?”

“I love you.” Junmyeon grins cheekily, his other hand reaching to rest on your cheek before pulling you into a kiss. “I really do. Please remember that. Everything I experienced before you was so that I could appreciate everything about you when I meet you. I’m glad you got to meet her today, because just as great as she is, she is no comparison to you. You’re more than that, and the crazy part? You’re my soulmate.”

[purplesurveys]

816

Gonna do a before and after of one of the first surveys I took when I was FOURTEEN. Fucking wild that I’ve been doing this for nearly a decade. Kinda my way of celebrating the fact that I’ve just been reunited with my old blog, which Tumblr has apparently changed the URL of. Baffled by the move but still stoked, and @a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse​ is absolutely the coolest person for being able to find it haha. Let’s gooooo 1. Are you registered to vote? No. I still have 3 years to go. < That’s so precious. I’ve been a voter for four years now. I registered the second I turned 18 and I remember being very excited to make it to the presidential elections because only a handful of people from my high school batch were 18 by the time of the elections. 2. When days go by, do you cross them off on the calendar? Only when I’m counting down for something. < This still sounds like something I would do, but I don’t really get to anymore because I have digital calendars on my phone and laptop now. 3. Are you currently counting down to something? If so, what? Summer vacation! 4 days left! < Again, so cute. There’s no countdown that exists because I honestly don’t know when it will be okay enough to go out like normal again, but I am waiting for Covid to go away or at least for a vaccine to be available.

No #4? 5. Ever got injured at work? What happened? Nope. < I sprained my ankle at one of the parking lots in school, while walking to my car. Worst thing was it happened in front of an ongoing rally, and I heard their chants slightly falter when they saw me fall. I tried to play it cool, but my foot clearly felt fucked and someone had to hold my arm as I hopped to my car.

6. What color is your roof? Brown. < Stop pretending like you have a roof, Robyn. The house has always had a rooftop.

7. Do you use MySpace or Facebook more? Neither. < I was still far too young when MySpace peaked so I never did get to participate in its glory days. I definitely use Facebook a lot more, then and now. 8. Last time you sharpened a pencil? When I took a diagnostic test last Monday. < Sometime in 2019 when I was still heavily into coloring and I bought several coloring books and a pack of coloring pencils. I loved coloring and wish I kept it up, but it was just a bit of a hassle for me to sharpen every ten minutes or so. 9. List all the people in your phone under T: Zero, zilch, nada. No phone. < A high school batchmade named Dani, a college colleague named Kate, and a couple of aunts and uncles whose contacts start with Tito and Tita.  10. How old were you when you got into text messaging? I once had a super obsessive text problem when I was 11, I think? < That would be the first time I got hooked with texting, but I got my first phone when I was 7 and was already texting by then. Mostly my parents and grandpa, but still. 11. Do you pay rent to your parents? No. < No. They’ve already told me they won’t pressure me to do so either, but out of gratefulness for taking care of me for 20+ years I have absolutely no problems covering some of the bills when the time comes. 12. What do you think of Obama’s new healthcare bill? I don’t know a lot about it. < Honestly, still same. That’s another country’s politics altogether and we have enough issues in our own nation as it is. I do pay attention to US issues that are more universal like LGBT issues, police brutality against black people, Trump as a person...but not the more in-depth ones like healthcare or student debt. 13. How many icons are on your desktop? 34. < Exactly half of that. 14. Do you spit or swallow? Get outta here!!! < Still can’t relate. 15. Ever wrote something on a bathroom wall? Nope. < Eugh no, public bathrooms are so nasty. I don’t usually touch anything in them other than the faucet. I’ve written on other things though, like the desks in school. 16. What’s your definition of a slut? Uh. < Someone who often has casual sex with a lot of people, is how I understand it. 17. If you use the word “slut”, do you apply it to men who do the same thing as what you listed above? Nah. < I don’t really use the word. 18. Do you dye eggs for Easter? I did once, in a children’s party. < Yeah, just that one time at my second cousins’ place when they were in the mood to paint on eggs and invited me and my siblings. 19. What did you do on the first day of spring? Never experienced spring. < We don’t have spring. 23. Are you currently crushing on anyone? No. < Yes. 24. What color hair did the last person you kissed have? NKSB. < LOOOOOOOOOL I spent like two minutes puzzling over this like who tf is NKSB??? Eventually realized this just meant ‘Never Kissed Since Birth’ oh my god 14 year old Robyn you were SO uncool. Anyway, her hair is black. 25. Do you stand up to say the pledge in school? We don’t have a school pledge, but we do recite our country’s pledge and yes, we stand up every time we say it. < Not anymore in university. Everyone just kinda does their own thing in college and we’re never gathered as one student body for anything, except for graduation. 26. Do you like your eye color? God no. It’s so boring. < I mean yeah it is a bit boring, but we kinda have no choice. Unless you go to West Asia which is nearing Europe as it is, nearly all Asians have brown eyes and black hair. 27. What brand of orange juice did you last drink? Zesto. < That’s the only brand of orange juice I’m okay with drinking, even eight years later. 28. Pens or pencils? Pens. < Still feel the same. 29. Last skirt you wore and why? My school skirt, because I have to go to school. < Omfg again, this is so precious. The last one I wore was my denim skirt, but it’s also been a while since I wore that because one of its buttons has since popped out and I never got around to having it fixed, leaving me with no skirts. 30. Last time you wore heels, what kind were they? A prom I went to. I actually have no idea what kind of heels they are so I’m just gonna say old-women heels. < They were stilettos, you dumbass. I also wore a pair of stilettos the last time I wore heels. They’re my favorite kind, so. 31. Shoes you wear the most? My Keds. < My pair of Onitsuka Tiger sneakers. . 32. Favorite quote at the moment? “YOU DUMB BITCH! I’M NOT HOLDING A MICROPHONE! ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?” - CM Punk < Holy crap, I do not remember this quote at all and had to look it up on YouTube and – no regrets. Watching it made so many memories come rushing back lmao that clip is hilarious; Punk is the greatest. Right now I don’t really have a favorite quote. 33. What was the last magazine article you read about? I forgot. < It’s from the website version of the magazine, but the last article I read covered a viral Facebook post wherein someone had photoshopped the faces of The Big Bang Theory boys onto the traditional graduation photos of my university out of boredom. Article is here for anyone who wants to see how well the pictures turned out lol. 34. What do you think about communism? I don’t know enough about it. < I completely support the progressive youth orgs, especially the ones in my university, that are aligned with communist, socialist, and Marxist ideals. They speak the truth more than any other orgs, so I don’t shy away from defending them or promoting their ideals, especially on social media, even if it puts me in danger. 35. Are you planning on going to college? If so, which one? Of course. I want to study in Ateneo. < CAN WE CANCEL 14 YEAR OLD ROBYN?????? What a disappointment omg. You were always meant to be in UP, you weirdo. 22 year old me takes that appalling statement back lol I can’t even begin to imagine spending my college years in Ateneo. 36. What’s your favorite flower? Ugh I hate flowers. < Peonies and roses. 37. What’s the nearest beach? I think it’s like…600 km away + a 2 hour boat ride. < No it is not. There’s a beach I come back to in Nasugbu and that’s only 100 km away. 38. Ever been to Florida? Nope. < Still nope. 39. How old is your brother’s best friend? He’s probably 9 as my brother’s 9. < I don’t know if he has one and I don’t really care anymore. 40. What type of car did you ride in last? A Kia van. < Sksksksks this was referring to the school bus I used to ride omg :( I was last in our Vitara, when I had to go to the hospital to get some tests done back when I still had a pesky fever. 42. Are you excited for summer 2013? Fuck yeah. < I honestly don’t remember how it ultimately went, but apparently I was excited for it so that answers the question. 43. What class were your parents (ex. class of ‘75)? They’re the same age so batch ‘89. < There we go. 44. Are you in debt right now? For what? No. < Kinda-ish? I promised my sister I’d pay her for helping me out with iMovie (I wanted to make Gab a video for her birthday, but had never done it before), but I haven’t had the chance to do it since I only have big bills at the moment. She’s asking for ₱200 but I only have ₱1000s in my wallet, so I can’t pay her for now. 45. If you’re old enough, do you have a credit card? If you’re not old enough, do you want one when you’re older? I definitely want one. < Yep, still want one. Though I’ll need a crash course on how to use it because my parents never really taught me how cards work. 46. What color is your phone? No phone. < Apple calls it space gray but it’s really just black. 47. Have you ever had someone read a text message they weren’t supposed to see? Yes. < Yes. That person was me, and I accidentally read a text from my dad meant for only my mom when I was 5 because I had stubborn fingers that would click on anything. 48. What’s the minimum age you think someone should have a cell phone at? 10. < Holy cow, that’s a nope for me. I’d say 12 or 13. 49. Would you ever work night crew? Sure. < Yes. I’ve seen my girlfriend’s mom do it and honestly I find it pretty badass, especially because while everyone is stuck in traffic trying to get to work by 9 AM, she’s cruising down the highway on the opposite lane with no problem, to be home by 9 hahaha. 50. How old is the last person you texted? 41. < 22.

[agoodflyting]

Ouat Star wars crossover

This maaay not be what you wanted but hopefully it’s okay. Have 2100 words of Techie/Matt in Storybrooke.

~~

His alarm goes off at 7am every morning.

If he waits long enough, trying to ignore the blaring with his head under a pile of blankets and cheap dime-store throw pillows, it will eventually stop on its own. He will let his gummy eyes slip shut again, scratching himself idly under the covers, and try to adjust his cramping body so that a different part of him is hanging off of the too-small foldout bed.

Every morning he says he’s going to get up with the first alarm. Actually make himself some breakfast, do the dishes before they grew legs and crawled away, maybe even shave and wash his hair and try to look fucking presentable before work. He never does.

The alarm will go off again eventually, and he will root around below with one arm, blindly, until he finds the button to turn it off before it wakes up his roommate. His feet rustle in the discarded papers and other detritus on the floor around the bed as he trudges out, yawning and clumsy, for coffee. LED lights blink sleepily at him from around the room. Servers that he’s working on in his spare time, dismantled motherboards, old electronics. One of his four or five old laptops is in sleep mode, colors dancing across the screen, and he’s briefly jealous.

Every morning he starts the coffee and realizes that somehow it’s later than he thought. Then it’s scrambling, pounding on Matt’s door to wake him up, scrubbing his face and anything else that shows with a damp cloth in their dingy shared bath, doing the sniff test on the pile of laundry on his bedroom floor- the one he keeps meaning to fold and put away properly one day. His hair’s a lost cause, tangled and oily, betraying the fact that he just rolled out of bed, but it usually is and nobody ever comments on it. They would probably be more surprised if he came in looking neat and polished.

“Matt, we’re- we’re going to be late!” he stammers when he’s nervous, always has. It doesn’t help that he’s always nervous.  Matt doesn’t worry about being late and losing his job and not being able to pay the rent and getting kicked out of his crappy messy apartment, because his mother is their boss and even if he did something bad enough that she fired him, Matt’s got money somewhere and he’ll be okay.

Matt doesn’t worry about anything, so Techie worries about everything. It’s not a system that works well, but it’s the only system he has.

Matt emerges from the bathroom showered and smiling, with his glasses fogged and his curly hair still damp. He’d bleached it over the summer on impulse, but then he’d decided it made him look like a ‘giant cabbage patch doll’. He wasn’t mad, exactly. Matt was never mad about anything, which was probably a useful trait to have when you did as much stupid stuff on impulse as Matt did. But now he was waiting for it to grow back out to black and it was taking forever. Stuck in an awful in-between stage, not quite black, not quite blonde.

Matt stuffs a muffin in his overlarge mouth as Techie practically drags him out the door, and if they hurry and there isn’t much traffic, then maybe just this once they might make it to work by 9:04- late, but not too late that Techie can’t slip in the door and avoid Leia’s gaze until after lunch.

He’s lucky in the fact that there’s never much traffic. They get through the town square without much trouble, passing the boarded up library and the broken clocktower that never seemed to get fixed, like everything else in Storybrooke. They pass Mr. Gold’s shop and Techie tells Matt to remind him to pay the rent when they get off work, even though he knows that Matt will forget, and then Techie will forget, and the rent will be due before he remembers, so that he would have to be the one to scramble for the cash before their terrifying landlord arrived to collect it.

“He’s not that bad,” Matt would say. “I’m sure he’s a reasonable guy if you got to know him.” Of course he would say that. Matt liked everyone. If you wanted a list of Matt’s friends you just grabbed a phone book.

“Right. I’m reasonably sure he’d only- only break one of my legs.”

They are about to pull into the parking lot at New Republic whatever it is only slightly late for once, and that is when Matt sees the cat.

The skinny orange tabby is picking through the garbage can next to the building and Techie knows before he even sees the look in Matt’s eyes.

“No- no, come on. We’re already late and your mother’s going to yell at me, and-.”

“But look, she’s so skinny.”

“No, what are you even going to do?”

“Maybe we can catch her and take her to the shelter.”

“But we don’t have time,” Techie whines.

“It’ll take two seconds, the shelter is just back there on Main street. I’m just gonna grab her in your jacket and we’ll take her right over. Please, Techie? “ And he’s never been good at standing up for himself, but he especially cannot resist when Matt looks at him with those big, soft eyes.

Techie gives up his windbreaker, leaving just the threadbare yellow t-shit that he kept meaning to throw out, but somehow never managed. He needed new clothes, he always forgot.

In the end ‘two seconds’ spins out into half an hour of Matt chasing the skinny but surprisingly agile stray cat around the alley, occasionally calling for Techie to, ‘just chase her over this way- no, left!’, but he is beaming, all gap-toothed happiness when he finally manages to throw the windbreaker over her and wrap her up in it.

“What if I get rabies?” Techie frets, as they walk to the pet shelter, gingerly pressing at the shallow claw marks on his arm.

“You’re not going to get rabies. She’s such a sweet girl, she would never give you rabies,” he says in the baby voice people use for talking to cute animals, “Listen, she’s purring!”

It was true. Wrapped up in Techie’s now filthy jacket, the cat was happily purring in Matt’s arms as they walk.

They hand the cat over to the lady at the shelter and make it to work at 9:47.

As usual.

~

Life goes on. Nobody claims the cat, and Techie is helpless to stop Matt from bringing it home to their apartment, despite his best arguments that they don’t have room and he thinks he might be allergic to cats and anyway it tried to give him rabies. Matt names her Millicent.

~

“Yes, mommy,” Techie can just make out the rumble of Matt’s voice from the other side of their office wall. “Okay, mommy…. yes…. okay… yes, mommy.”

Matt will be thirty years old in August and he still calls his mother ‘mommy’, in the small, childish tone of a little boy. Techie is the first roommate he’s ever had. He’d never lived on his own before they moved in together two years ago.

Techie pays the rent and the electricity and does the grocery shopping, not because he wants to but because if he doesn’t then Matt just won’t  and then where would they be?

In return, Matt does the dishes (sometimes) and reminds Techie to go to bed at a decent hour and is also probably the only reason Techie hasn’t been fired from his job as IT support at New Republic Industries.

Not that he likes his job- he hates his job. He spends eight hours a day being ordered around and dismissed and insulted. When things work right, people ask, “Why do we even need you?” and when they don’t work, its, “What do they even pay you for?”

He hates New Republic. He’s… he isn’t even really sure what they do, to be honest, which some disused little part of his mind knows is odd, though he can never quite put his finger on why. Whatever they do, it’s something he vaguely disapproves of- he knows that much.

But what can he do? It pays the bills. If he didn’t work here he’d have to go back to working for his father’s day care, and he’s never been good with children. Between his IT job and Matt’s work as an office boy-slash-general lackey for his mother, they just about make due.

So he gets up in the morning, and he goes to work at nine, or as close to nine as he can manage with Matt in tow. They go home at 5:30, the same route every time, and eat cheap takeout and pet the cat, and sometimes he remembers to do the dishes before they grow legs and crawl away. Then they go to bed and do the whole thing again the next day.

~

“Do you ever have weird dreams?” Matt asks one morning on their daily carpool as they pass through the town square and Techie is thinking that that he needs to tell Matt to remind him to pay Mr. Gold when they get out of work.

“Dreams? Like what?” he asks.

“I don’t know. Maybe ones that feel like…. like remembering something you forgot.”

“I had a dream I forgot to feed Millie and she started eating my toes once.”

“Not like that,” Matt says. There’s something somber and pensive in his tone that isn’t usually there. “Like there’s some important, something really important you’re supposed to be doing, and you only remember it in your dreams.”

Techie always feels like there’s something important he’s supposed to be doing. That was how anxiety worked. “Maybe you slept wrong?” he offers.

“Yeah, maybe,” Matt says, running a hand through his messy curls. He had dyed them last summer and was waiting for the color to grow out. It was taking forever.

~~

They on their way home from work. It’s been a few days, or maybe a few weeks since the dream conversation.

Maybe it had happened more than once.

Matt is driving and Techie is making a grocery list in his head for later when he sees the blonde woman in the red jacket storm across the road right ahead, completely ignoring their oncoming car.

“Stop! Stop!” Techie yelps suddenly, and Matt wrenches the wheel and slams on the breaks, sending them both jerking against their seatbelts. The breaks squeal. There’s little bump and a crash.

“Status report!”

“Huh?” Matt asks, dazed, adjusting his glasses.

“What?” Techie echoes. What did- why did he say that? He shakes his head. “We didn’t hit her, did we?”

As soon as he says it, he catches a flash of red and blonde across the street as the woman throws open the door to Mr. Gold’s shop. A wave of relief washes through him.

“Just the curb, I think,” Matt says. He has his head stuck out the window. There’s an awful grinding sound as he throws the car into reverse and they pull carefully back onto the road. Techie grits his teeth. Once they’re back on asphalt the grinding stops. “It sounds okay, don’t you think?”  

“Like either of us know,” Techie says, nerves making him waspish, although if they had messed up the suspension they might not be able to tell right away, not unless the car started to pull on the turn. Or there could be a puncture in the brake lines, or a damaged-

How did he know that? He must have read it somewhere.

Techie rubs a hand over his eyes, “Lets- lets just go home.”

~~

Matt is in the kitchen washing the dishes, humming to himself, and Techie is on the couch with Millie warm and sleepy on his lap when awareness hits him like a wave.

The humming stops.

His hands tremble, as if from exhaustion, but he isn’t tired- not tired, he is more awake than he has been in years. He stands, dumping the cat onto the floor, brushing a hand through his own long, lank hair as if aware of it for the first time.

How- Where?

A shadow appears in the kitchen doorway, big enough to blot out the light.

“General,” Matt- Kylo says.

Hux’s shoulders creak a little with disuse as he holds himself straight-backed for the first time in twenty-eight years. He tilts his head from side to side, loosening the muscles in his neck. The cat has abandoned him to twine around Kylo’s legs, needy, in the way she does to Matt when she wants to be fed. Kylo nudges the animal away with his foot, less than gently.

“Were you responsible for this?” Kylo asks, low and threatening, indicating with his chin the messy domestic scene around them.

Hux remembers weak little Matt, with his easy smile and soft heart, and how he- how Techie had felt about him. “I had assumed it was your doing,” he swallows. “Things like this are more your domain than mine.”

“It wasn’t me,” he answers.“Who, then? If not the Force, then what had the power to do this?”Kylo’s jaw works. “Let’s go find out.”

[ilovethings-somuch]

Private Lessons (2/10)

Dad!Chris Evans/first person OFC (Elaina)

A/N: Hello friends! This was supposed to be posted earlier but I really like procrastinating 🤷 sorry!! So this is like fluff, I guess. No warnings other than swearing (I’m sorry I can’t help it)

Synopsis: Elaina is teaching swimming lessons to a little boy named Lukas when she discovers that he is the son of Chris Evans. When Chris approaches Elaina to do private lessons with Lukas at the Evans’ home will things heat up? Will Elaina turn into a homewrecker that she never wanted to be?

I spent (too much) of my weekend arguing with myself about how to back out of my arrangement with Chris. It went something like this:

It wouldn’t be that hard to back out. I could just tell him that my boss didn’t want me teaching private lessons outside of our facility. But that’s not true, and lord knows I can’t lie to save my soul. There’s no real reason I can come up with for why I can’t teach Lukas privately. I mean, other than the whole, Chris FUCKING Evans thing. But it’ll be fine. You can be cool, Elaina, just remember deep breaths, he’s just a normal person. You’re doing this for Lukas, not Chris. Hell for all I know Chris won’t even be there when I’m teaching, Lukas probably has a nanny. Or, oh god, what if Chris’ wife is there. Does anyone even know who she is? *googles for 3 hours* Why the fuck is google not helping? Okay, tumblr time, the fandom HAS to know right? *searches tumblr for 5 hours (I may have gotten sidetracked)* WHY DOES NOBODY KNOW WHO SHE IS?! Wait. Maybe she’s not in the picture, oh god, I hope she’s still alive.

All in all, the weekend went by too quickly and before I knew it, it was Tuesday and time for swimming lessons. Class went smoothly, I got everyone to go underwater again and there were 0 tears. Eva and Liam were a piece of cake, and when Lukas got scared all I had to do was remind him how proud his dad was going to be when he went under again. Worked like a charm; plus, waving at Chris with Lukas may have given me an excuse to look at Chris during the lesson.

Afterwards, Eva’s mom wanted to talk to me so I avoided an awkward moment with Chris then, and I was somehow able to get my belongings and leave before he had gotten Lukas changed so I avoided him again. I have mixed feelings about whether or not I’m happy about that. I mean, it was the goal; but maybe a small part of me wanted him to talk to me.

Thursday is the last day of the session, which means it’s a fun day. For the older kids that means playing Sharks and Minnows and going off the diving board. For the little kids, it means spending the class playing with water toys and jumping off the side. Near the end I take my kids over to the deep end to try jumping off the diving board. They all get a life jacket and I swim near the end of the board to catch them when they jump in. I tell them they all have to jump once, and if they want to they can go twice. Liam is very excited, he even tells me not to catch him. Eva wants me to catch her, but other than that she doesn’t hesitate. Lukas, on the other hand, needs a little help. He is completely against jumping, I even try to coax him by giving him a noodle for “extra help floating” but he doesn’t budge.

“Lukas, you gotta try once. If you don’t like it then you never have to go again, but I want you to try one time”

“I don’t wanna” he whines once again, his eyes brimming with tears. I got him to walk to the end of the board and talked to him from the water. I give Kenna, the lifeguard on duty, a signal that he’s going to need help.

“How about if the lifeguard helps you bud” at this point Kenna is already on the board behind Lukas and is about to pick him up to set him into my waiting arms. The tears overflow as she sets him in the water, but as soon as he realizes that he’s in my arms they stop. “Good job Lukas! Look at that, you didn’t even go underwater! I bet your daddy is going to be really impressed”

“I did it! I went off the jumping board!”

“You did! You did so good” I assure him while swimming to the side with him. “Do you think you want to try again all by yourself?” His face drops with my suggestion so I back track quickly. “You don’t have to bud, only if you want. Or you can stay here by the wall okay?”

“I wanna stay here”

“Okay, just keep your hands on the wall while I help Liam and Eva”

Liam and Eva both jump again before class is over. When they get their towels on I give each of them their report card and a piece of candy before walking them over to their parents. I’m not exactly sure how, but somehow I was left alone with Lukas and Chris again.

“Good job today buddy!”

“Did you see me go on the jumping board?”

“Of course I did! You were so brave”

“That’s what Miss Lainie told me too” Lukas tells him with a proud smile.

“Well Miss Lainie is a very smart lady” Chris says, looking at me with a smirk. I can’t help but blush at hearing him use my nickname.

“Well it’s always good to know who the bravest little boys are” I tease back, tickling Lukas’ sides.

“So, uh, tomorrow at 9:30 right?”

“Yeah, you still have to send me the address” I remind him.

“Oh shit, thanks for reminding me!” He immediately pulls out his phone and starts typing.

“Daddy!” Lukas whines while hitting Chris’ shoulder. “No bad words”

“I’m sorry buddy, you’re right. No bad words” he repeats before looking at me with a smirk. Goddamn that smile is going to be the death of me. It’s quiet for a few moments and I’m about to make my exit when Chris finishes typing and looks back up at me. “I just sent it to you”

“Okay, thanks. I’ll, um, see you tomorrow then”

“See you then” I give him a small wave before retreating into the office to grab my stuff. All my coworkers are already in there and someone is taking a shower in the room where my keys are, so it looks like I’ll be stuck here for a little longer. I spend the time looking through my phone, making sure to save the address Chris sent me, and talking to my coworkers. Thankfully no one asked me about what took me so long.

When I get home it’s already 7 and my plan to go for a run goes out the window. Instead take a shower before I pull out my laptop and fool around on the internet while eating my dinner. I end up facetiming with my best friend from back home before going to bed, simply so that I can express my excitement about befriending (yeah, that’s what we’re going to call it) Chris with someone who hasn’t actually met him. She’s equally if not more excited than I am, which makes me feel slightly more at ease in the sense that at least I’m normal, but also more anxious because I don’t want to mess it up.

My body finally allows me to fall asleep sometime around midnight, leaving me around 7 hours of sleep. My alarm going off is a cruel awakening, but at least it’s sunny outside. I finally roll out of bed around 7:45, only to discover that my hair is an absolute mess and going to take awhile to tame. I want to make a good impression on Chris. Even though we’ve already met, he’s never really seen me..dry. I want to prove that I can clean up nicely, even if I’m not exactly sure why I feel the need to prove that. Dammit, Elaina it’s not a date!

I end up having to straighten my hair to get all the kinks out, which takes close to half an hour. A half an hour that I didn’t plan for. Thankfully I had a mental idea of what to wear and it didn’t end up looking awful when I put it on. Makeup was another issue. Listen, when you’re working in a wet environment, makeup isn’t something that happens often. Now, I know what you’re probably thinking, “do you ever go out Elaina?” the answer to that is, not as much as I should. And I used to, but when I decided to take a break from trying to act the people I had befriended when I first moved here kind of ditched me. It was probably for the best, that lifestyle wasn’t really me.

I finally get my makeup to not look like a 5-year old did it and make it out of my apartment around 9:10. Which is 10 minutes later than I planned on leaving. The coffee shop is supposedly only 15 minutes away, but you never know when it comes to California traffic. Today proves to be no different, thankfully I make it to the shop only 2 minutes late; and let me tell you, my heart is pounding. I can’t tell you the last time I went on a date. Wait, fuck, Elaina it’s not a damn date! Either way, I can’t tell you the last time I met with someone at a coffee shop. Do I find him and sit down first? Do I order? Who knows! But I thank the lucky stars above when I see Chris walking towards the shop coming from the opposite direction as me. He seems to spot me at the same time I see him and give me a big grin. He can wear whatever glasses and hat he wants, there’s no way I wouldn’t recognize that smile. We reach the door at about the same time and he holds it open for me to enter first. I stand just inside, waiting for him to make a move towards a table or to a line. He heads towards the line and I follow slightly behind.

“Hi, the regular?” the barista asks him when it’s his turn.

“Yeah and whatever she’s having” he sounds so casual about it that I think my heart stops.

“No, Chris you don’t have to pay for me”

“It’s just a coffee, relax” he chuckles.

“Um okay, I’ll just have whatever he’s getting” The barista gives me a small nod before moving to make the drinks. I follow Chris to a table while we wait for our drinks.

“So, where’s Lukas?” I ask, not that I expected him to be here, but it’s weird being around Chris without Lukas.

“He’s at home, with the nanny for a couple hours while I take care of a few things”

I nod, thankful for our drinks arriving to give me something to do. Nanny means his wife must be busy, or not around? God Elaina you’re insufferable, give it a rest.

“He gets really upset when I have to leave, it’s going to be hard when school starts and I have to leave him everyday”

“Yeah, I bet. How does that work with you filming and such?”

“Um, I don’t know yet” he chuckles. “I’m still trying to figure it out. I really want him to go to a normal school. I mean, maybe a private school but definity one where he just goes 8 to 3 like a normal kid and gets to hang out with friends. As much as I would love to just have him home schooled so that he can go with me everywhere, I can’t take away his childhood like that”

“I get what you mean. It would be a pretty incredible childhood to grow up on movie sets though” I suggest with a smile. “But I get it, you want him to be a normal kid, that makes sense”

“Right, he’s had a pretty normal childhood so far. I try to get him outside as much as I can and with kids his age”

“Does he go to daycare?”

“No, I’m usually home with him or I have a really great nanny who comes over when I have things to do. We have regular play dates with some neighborhood families regularly though and he always has fun.”

“Yeah, he’s really sociable! The first day of lessons he was really shy, but by the second class he was telling me all about what he did that day and he was always trying to make games with the other kids”

“He loves to make up games” he says fondly.

“He’s a really smart kid. When ever I was explaining something new it was like I could see the gears turning in his head while he tried to figure it out. Maybe smart to a fault, he tends overthinks things and get scared”

“He’s definitely like his father” Chris mumbles before giving me a smirk.

“Maybe so, but clearly you’ve faced fears and he has too. So it’s alright, it’s definitely not a bad thing for him to be like you”

“Thank you, Elaina, that means a lot” he touches my hand while he’s talking, giving it a light squeeze before moving his hand back to his coffee. I can feel my face heating up and I’m not sure my makeup is covering it up. I try to change the subject casually, but my voice sounds flustered.

“So, um, do you have an idea of what days and times work for you? I’m usually open Monday, Wednesday, Friday after 3 and Tuesday, Thursday after 6 and then totally free on weekends”

“Well my schedule is not that consistent. I can do Monday, Wednesday, Friday at say, 4 this week. But they the week after I’m only around on the weekend, and then the week after I’ll be home Tuesday and Thursday”

“Okay, well as long as the times work with what I wrote here” I pause, pointing to the note I wrote, “I can do whatever. I’ll just let my boss know that she can’t schedule me outside of these times so I’ll be free”

“Really? That would be amazing”

“Yeah, of course. So are you thinking half hour, hour?”

“Whatever you think is best”

“Well if I can keep up his progress I think we could get a lot done in an hour. But it also depends on the setup of your pool. I won’t know everything I can do until I see that, but I think an hour would be the best”

“That’s fine with me. Um so how much do you charge?”

“Fifteen dollars per lesson. But you don’t have to pay me like everyday, we can do it weekly or whatever works for you”

“Fifteen dollars? That’s it?”

“Yes? I wouldn’t say that’s cheap..” I trail off, unsure.

“In hollywood, that’s cheap” he assures me.

“Well you can feel free to pay me more, but that’s my baseline” I say with a chuckle. He doesn’t give me an actual answer, just laughs heavily. The conversation turns to a lighter topic and keeps flowing with a few more casual touches. This is, until Chris notices the time and realizes that he has to go.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize it was so late. I told the nanny I would be back by now and I haven’t even made my other stops yet” he tells me quickly, while picking up his notes and empty coffee cup.

“No, it’s totally fine. I’m sorry for keeping you” I stand along with him and follow him towards the exit.

“I’ll see you Monday at 4 then? I’ll text you my address”

“Yep, don’t forget” I tease.

“You might need to remind me” he says honestly.

“I’ll remind you tonight” I assure him

“Great! I’ll see you Monday” he calls while walking backwards away from me.

“Bye, Chris”

When I get in my car I take a few moments to just sit and process everything. Why did that feel so much like a date? It wasn’t supposed to take that long but somehow it’s already 1 o’clock in the afternoon. When I finally get my bearing I make my home, stopping first at the grocery store to restock my kitchen. I decide to stop at a sandwich shop on the way home, knowing I won’t feel like making dinner after putting all my groceries away.

I’m finally getting settled into my couch when my phone chimes from my purse in the kitchen. I groan slightly before getting up to retrieve it.

Chris: I think someone forgot to remind me of something 🤔  *address attached*

Me: wow look who remembered something all on their own! Someone’s growing up☺️

Chris: Was that sass I detected from you, Elaina? I’m appalled, maybe I don’t want Lukas spending time with you

Me: Trust me, that boy had enough sass before I met him. (I think he gets it from his father)

Chris: Take that back now!

Me: can’t make me 🤷

Chris: hahaha yeah okay.

Chris: I had a really nice time with you today

Me: I had a nice time too, sorry for making you late. Hopefully you didn’t get in too much trouble.

Chris: No worries! Thankfully the nanny is very understanding.

Chris: I gotta go make dinner for Lukas, I’ll talk to you soon!

Me: Bye Chris, say hi to Lukas for me!

[brilliantshane]

I Apologise In Advance

If you follow me on twitter you might know that I have mental health issues. I have been diagnosed with Major Depression and Generalised Anxiety Disorder(the Romeo and Juliet of mental health problems). I often tweet at length about it, especially when I feel anxious, this usually results in losing 20 followers approx and who can blame them, these people log on to twitter to escape their own dreary existence and laugh at a few memes, not to read about Shane going through his monthly mild breakdown and crying in the wardrobe again. Even though I completely understand these people, I hate them. I’m only joking I don’t really(I do). So I decided that I would write this thing, in an effort not to annoy the general public and so that i have something to do with my anxiety stricken hands. Also I am very self conscious that writing in this way can seem masturbatory and self indulgent but I am no stranger to either of those things. I must warn you though that I am no writer and what follows may well read like the incoherent ravings from the final entries in a lone assassins diary.

I was born mentally ill. I know it’s a chemical and hereditary thing with me because my whole family has problems. My parents were married in the 80s, aged 19  and I was born 5 months later(I’ll never forget the moment when I, aged  9 or 10, realised that the maths didn’t work out). It’s crazy to look back and think how young my parents were and how hard it must have been, how much resentment they must have felt towards each other and me. Imagine being spending your 20s, stuck in a marriage you didn’t want with 2 young children in the days before divorce, resentment would be natural and unavoidable.  I know they felt resentment because they hated each other. The tension in the house was oppressive. I often came home to uneaten dinners and holes in punched walls. My father had a hair trigger temper and any interaction with him had the opportunity(can’t think of the word) to go wrong. I learned to be quiet, in fact I learned it so well that I even when I wanted to speak my mouth couldn’t say the words. I had become conditioned to fear any interaction with anyone. People would look at me with pity and say ‘You’re so quiet you poor thing’ and then become distracted by my sisters jubilant tales involving her love of Ronan Keating. I stayed in my bedroom until I was 28.

I suppose my childhood was not atypical for someone growing up in a council estate in the last days of Catholic Ireland. But I think that my hereditary propensity towards depression and anxiety mixed with the intense fear of my youth left me with zero chance of being a fully functional adult. My teen years were horrific,  my parents divorce was a Pandora's Box of pain, hatred and anger. My mother turned to drink and screamed at me for looking like my father and my father told me that any recollections of emotional abuse I had were false memories (FAKE NEWS!). I haven’t spoken to my father since I was 16 but his angry face sometimes wakes me up in a cold sweat.

‘Yeah so, you had a tough childhood, who didn’t?, you say.  The only reason I bring it up is because it has had such a bearing on who I am now.  In my early 20s I hated myself. Truly hated myself. I was stupid, ugly and useless. I hated my own face and couldn’t look in the mirror. I cut myself on the arms and the stomach, made worn out, pathetic attempts at suicide and when I was alone and drunk I literally howled in pain. Years of isolation had left me pathologically lonely, every time I was with someone I wondered how long before they would discover that I am a fraud.

I wished I was dead.

The brain has ways of coping with pressure and some of these ways of coping are ridiculous and illogical, often when you are mentally ill you don’t realise how stupid and disordered your thinking is. In my late teens I wouldn’t shower because I lived in terror that people might discuss how I had finally showered. In my early 20s I showered 3 times a day and spent an hour getting my hair just right. I began walking on the side of the road facing the traffic because that way I could see when they were going to crash into me. I kept my hands firmly in my pockets in case the urge to push people out on the road became too strong. I went to get an STI check because I fully believed I had AIDs even though it was literally impossible. I incessantly apologised for slights real and imagined. I developed a small tremor in my right hand and panic attacks were a daily occurrence. In other words I was a fucking basket case.

It all came to a head when I was 28. I decided I’d had enough and I became serious about ending myself. It was September 2014 and I walked to the canal in Tralee. I sat there for hours crying before finally walking to the edge, I went into a sort of trance , took a breath and………..my body tensed up. My anxiety kicked in. I can’t swim. What if I changed my mind. I had heard of a man who hung himself in Tralee and when they found him his fingers were broken from trying to break the rope off, what if that happened to me. I took a step back from the edge. My anxiety had saved my life.

I went and got help. I did counselling and went on medication. I felt like a new man. My anger and pain left me,. My thoughts became ordered. The pressure was off. I was weightless. My sister told me that she had seen me laugh for the first time in 20 years. Awkward conversations were a problem no more, I didn’t care if it was awkward, I got on with my day.  I started to do comedy first with video and and then on stage. Standing in front of people trying to make them laugh was something I would never have dreamed of in a million centuries.  My life changed and I no longer hated myself.

In the last year though, things have changed. I seem to have taken a step back I’m nowhere near as bad as I was previously, for instance I am not at the stage where I am afraid to leave the house incase I commit a murder, but I have noticed the ‘coping’ mechanisms returning. I’ve started to needlessly apologise again for imagined slights. I find myself wondering if people hate me or don’t like me anymore. I wonder if I am annoying people and then find myself compelled into asking them if I am annoying them which results in me actually annoying them.

The fears that I am a fraud and I will be found out at any moment. The almost overwhelming compulsion to tweet and the intense loneliness of it all. The loneliness.

The boy sitting alone in his bedroom.

I don’t know why I am writing this really, maybe because it can be helpful to try and articulate vague feelings or maybe because I am a self indulgent prick. I know though that I need to stop the slide before it reaches breaking point and I can because I have done it before.

If you related to any of this and are clueless as to what to do then I would advise you to go to the doctor as soon as possible and tell them how you feel. It might change your life.

If you read this far then I would like to say thank you and also that I am sorry.

Shane

[freelytransparentcollectorp-blog]

Midway hitchhiking escapade - Melbourne to Adelaide

Hello, my friends, it certainly has been a while since my last post. Just to fill you in, I have since finished my Amazon travel, spend some time in Santarem and Belem, went off to Rio de Janeiro, then Sao Paulo, went back to Argentina and Buenos Aires, which will forever remain my home, and passed the last month there hanging out with friends and just chilling before returning to Melbourne. Thus I have been in Melbourne for 9 months now. And while in between work and study, I got a week and a half off, I have decided to fill my pack and get back on the road, if only, temporary. But I am not dismayed! I will set off indefinitely vagabonding sometime soon! In any case, I filled my pack and went off to Adelaide.

I took a regional VLine train directly from Melbourne to Warrnambool, which is about a 2 hour trip from the city center. Not being that experienced of a hitchhiker, I am honestly baffled by how some people manage to find rides out of the city itself, but since I have no idea how, I didn’t even try. Warrnambool seemed like a good place to start, about 150km from Melbourne itself. I took an evening train, and arrived at about 11:30PM at night. The station and the town were largely deserted but for a small local bus that was waiting, apparently for people who have recently got off the train, to take them to Heywood, as I have been able to identify by the digital sign. Heywood is on the way to Adelaide, and actually, a much better place to start hitchhiking, being a much smaller town than Warrnambool, and located directly on the highway. As it was almost midnight, and with an idea that my prospects of finding a place to camp would be much greater in a place like Heywood, I have decided to take the bus. A mere 7 dollars and 1 hour, and we were there. The trip itself was rather typical of a regional Australian bus trip. The bus first stopped at Portland, where everybody got off except for me, and 2 Heywood locals got on, one dude with a skateboard and a cap, and another middle-aged man with white hair who looked rather drunk. As he entered, he shot me a look, so I nodded and said “Hi”.

He immediately shot back with “Where are you from?”, which I just then, didn’t really feel like answering. “Around here” - I said. “What? I can’t understand you!” - he said, rather unkindly. “Well, alright then...” I muttered to myself, and said nothing more. The guy shifted his attention to the driver now, as the bus rumbled on.  “What held you up, mate?” - he asked “The train was 25 minutes late” - said the driver “Ahh, ok mate, you’re alright, then”- said the drunken guy.  As we speeded on along the dark highway, the guy went on again: “The roads are pretty shit, aren’t they mate?” - this to the bus driver. “Yes, they certainly are” - responded the bus driver, indifferently. The roads were perfectly fine, in my opinion, I had no idea what the guy was complaining about. “Fucking disgraceful, mate!” said the guy. “Yes, indeed.” - said the bus driver.  I had the impression he not paying attention at all to the drunk guy, just merely concurring whatever, with the air of ‘cool story bro’ After a while, the drunk guy spoke again:  “You’re a bloody good driver, mate!”  “Thanks, mate.” - responded the driver.

After a while, we got into town. “Ehh, can I get off here, mate?” - asked the drunk guy. “Sure mate.” - responded the bus driver, opened the doors, and let him off. In a few minutes, we rolled to a stop, and I got off with the skateboard dude, who went on and got lost among the streets. I went along the highway, looking for a good spot to make camp. It was around 1AM in the morning at this time.

I found a perfect little spot underneath an alcove, and strung my hammock. The night was chilly, but nowhere near cold, and I thought that with my alpaca poncho that I still carry from Peru, I should be ok. I have learned later in the night, to my sorrow, that this was a huge mistake, and that I would have been better off in my tent. However, the spot was so good for hammocking, I could not resist it. 

Just to clarify, this photo is taken with flash. It was actually almost pitch black.

It got really cold in the night. Freezing cold. I woke up at around 3, and could sleep no more, tossing and turning, trying to get as tight under the blanket/poncho as possible, only to have the wind blow from underneath the hammock. I got out and packed up at around 5AM. It was already dawning. It was almost the summer after all...

I went across the street, in search of some breakfast. A small Milk Bar was open, and I went in, looking to get some dim-sims. However, I asked the woman in attendance if she could please be so kind and fill my thermos with hot water. She said yeah, so I went over to the counter, prepared to buy the dimsims. However, just before she took the thermos, she suddenly asked me, as though in shock: “Wait, you’re not expecting me to do this for free, are you?” “Ummm” - I responded - “How much would you want for it? “Well, I’ve got a full kettle over there, if you want I could empty it into the thermos, but I’m not gonna do it for free!” - she said, as though I had argued. “Well, how much are you asking for it then? - I said again. “If you want me to empty that kettle, you’d expect to pay at least 5 dollars.” - she said. I was actually holding 5 dollars with which I was prepared to buy the dim-sims. I put them away. “No, thank you” - I said, and walked out. Seriously, people like that don’t deserve my money. 5 dollars for a kettle of hot water!!! It seemed to me beyond outrageous. 

So I walked on. I found a bakery a few blocks away, which was open too, by that time. There, the lady was kind enough to give me some hot water. I bought a meatpie. Having eaten that, and having had some tea with the freshly boiled water I now had, I thanked the lady baker and walked out, into the cool morning. I walked on and out of the town of Heywood, and kept walking along the highway until I got around a bend, where the intersection went off into one direction, and the highway in the other, so that I would be left with traffic that only went in my direction. I set my pack on the ground, and stuck my thumb out. The place looked like a decent hitchhiking spot, but it could be much better. However, the road ahead was very straight and flat, and I could not see a better spot. So I decided to wait for at least 30mins, before moving on and finding another spot if nobody stopped. After 30 minutes, I had walked on. 

Since this was my actual very first attempt at hitchhiking in Australia, I was a little nervous. What if nobody stopped? What if hitchhiking doesn’t actually work around here? However, my doubts were quickly put to rest, as a Toyota sedan went passed me as I walked, and stopped a few meters ahead. I ran up to it, greeting the driver.

“Hello sir, thank you very much for stopping!” - I said with a smile, as he motioned for me to get in. I stuffed my pack in the back seat and got in the front.  “I can only get you to Mt Gambier” said the stranger, who was dressed in a business attire. “That’s marvelous, I’m going exactly there too!” - said I. Mt Gambier was about 150km from Heywood, on the way to Adelaide.  “My name is Brandon” - he said, as we shook hands. Brandon, it turns out, is in the business of buying up all of the old and outdated Funeral Homes in the area around Portland (which as you will recall, I passed on the bus on the way to Heywood, and which is still in Victoria). His had 2 reasons for doing so. Firstly, most of the country funeral homes were extremely far behind, or in the 19th century, as Brandon explained.  “They are run by middle-aged to old people, who were born and raised in small towns, and are doing it only because their fathers have done it before them, and their fathers before them. As a result, most of these folk think that Google Sheets are linen you would put on your bed. They have no idea of their competition, of anything. So I offer them a reasonable price for their business, integrate technology such as faxes, emails, and internet, and the business grows in value immensely.” Now, the second reason he does this is as follows: “Over the last 20 years, the cremation rate has increased by 70%. It is a booming industry, as buying up land becomes more and more expensive for burial. However, the only entity permitted to carry out cremation in Victoria is the local council. On the other hand, in South Australia, anyone can obtain a permit to operate a cremation house. So I am buying up all of the funeral homes I can get my hands on in this part of Victoria, and on top of improving them technologically, I offer cremation services in them. From there, I can transport bodies over to Mt Gambier (South Australia), where I operate a cremation house, and cremate them there. The process is a lot more efficient, and I offer much more reasonable prices for cremation than the local council.”

We ended up talking about this all the way to Mt Gambier. I was enlightened! I never even spared thought to the funeral business before! As we arrived to Mt Gambier, Brandon was still early for the meeting he had scheduled there, and offered to take me to the Blue Lake, the lake that is a crater on top of a volcano, which Mt Gambier is famous for. I didn’t refuse. The idea was fascinating to me! And thus we drove up about 5 more mins through the town over to the volcano. It was about then when I fell in love with Mt Gambier. The city was so incredibly clean, there were people out and about, enjoying morning exercise, walking their dogs, or watering their gardens, and the volcano wasn’t actually out of the city. It was right on the outskirt, and since this was a small town, meaning about a 15 minute walk to the center. I was left off right on the edge where a walk starts all the way to the top and around the lake, next to a cafe which wasn’t yet open. I read some information about the Blue Lake on the signs displayed outside of the cafe. This was where the entirety of Mt Gambier got their drinking water from. Apparently, the water is purified by natural limestone deep underground, and is perfectly drinkable without the need to sterilize it by any chemical means. Sadly, upon further research, I have discovered that they still add fluoride to the drinking supply, contaminating this otherwise pure water. 

After climbing the volcano, I have made a circle around the lake along the walk path. There was a perfect harmonious mixture between perfect stillness and occasional people passing by as they jogged. There was even a house right on the margin (on the extreme right of the picture above). It is not as isolated as it seems from the photo, for remember, the center of the town is only 15 minutes walking distance!

After completing the walking circuit and thoroughly enjoying the scenery, I have decided to head back into town. It was a beautiful spring morning, and the rain was lightly sprinkling from the sky, making for some refreshing climate. As I walked past the center and onward, I found a library, and decided to rent a little, so I sat outside on a bench, and read the last few remaining chapters of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (Yes, this is the first time I am reading the series, and I must say, it’s fucking awesome!). I spent about half an hour just reading, and after that, I walked on. It was already past noon. I encountered a KFC, and decided to make a stopover, so I feasted there on some delicious chicken. After that, I found the the princess highway, and walked straight out of town. On my way there, I walked past what were entrances to caves, apparently with an underground lake underneath, which actually connects with the Blue Lake, quite a fair distance away. They regularly have diving tours here all the way to the Blue Lake, and my friends, I must say, although I normally hate any kind of tours with a passion, this tour I would certainly take. However, now was not the time for it. Another time, I will certainly try it. Diving into an underground lake and swimming along the caves!  Yeah, this is probably one of those things that you really shouldn’t do on your own. I did canoe down the Amazon, and scoured the jungles of Machu Picchu unguided, but even I won’t dive into an underground lake without some sort of guidance from an expert! But definitely a to-do for a later time!

As I continued along the highway, I realized that Mt Gambier was a lot bigger than I originally imagined. I was walking for well over an hour now, and I was still sort of in town. Although pretty far from the center, there were still houses and road forks on either side. And I started to get unusually tired by this point. Might’ve something to do with the fact and I almost didn’t sleep at all the night before, idiot that I was hammocking outside in freezing weather! So I started to get this idea, as I kept on walking past fields of grassland in between houses and streets. What if I camp here? Even though it was not even 3PM, as I walked, the idea gradually warmed up to me. Why not? This is a beautiful town, and it would be best to set up the tent by daylight, seeing as I would be attempting it for the first time (I bought a new tent since my time in Argentina). And so, I turned into a field between two rows of houses, and armed my tent (which was exceptionally easy, compared to my attempt in Argentina at 1AM, with that other tent). After the tent was set up, I stuffed everything inside, and climbed in to get a feel for it. 

It was incredible. Even though the chill outside was persistent, it was warm and cozy inside. There was space for everything. The bottom was cushiony, and it was very comfortable. 

So I lay there, listening to the rain, and reading Harry Potter. By the time the rain subsided, I have finished the book and even started on the other one I have brought, Mi Pais Inventado, which was the book I have snatched from a hostel (not literally snatched, it was a book swap, and I left some other book I had at the time) in Rio De Janeiro, which is about a woman called Isabel Allende, and the nostalgia she feels for her home country, Chile. It is so well written, and even I began to feel the tickle of nostalgia for Chile as I read it. 

And so, as the rain finished, and I was glad to see that the tent wasn’t leaking in any part and remained perfectly dry, I got out and stretched. It was around 6PM, and still very light outside. The instant cold hit me, and I appreciated once more how warm it had been inside the tent. I decided that it was really safe to just leave it there and go for a walk, for the place was rather hidden behind a fence of houses on either side. I walked on back to the highway, and crossed the road to where there was a TAB, adjacent to the liquor store. I went into TAB (a place where the gaming machines suck out people’s souls), and went to the bathroom, washed my face, refilled my water bottle, and brushed my teeth. Then I went back to my tent. I was still feeling rather tired. I climbed back into the warmth, and went straight to sleep.

I woke up the following morning at about 8AM. I slept a lot. I suppose with such a comfortable sleeping environment as my tent proved to be, I was recuperating all of the sleep I did not have the night before freezing my ass off in the hammock. I felt rather refreshed! I climbed out into the chill morning air. I was cloudy as the day before, with the serene in the air. A good day for hitchhiking. So I quickly rolled everything up, and packed my tent away, not without forgetting my harmonica in one of the inside pockets. ‘I’d get it later’ I thought to myself. So I pulled my pack across my shoulders, everything ready to go, and crossed over to TAB, which coincidentally also just opened at 8AM. I brushed my teeth and filled my water bottle, and off I went, walking along the highway. It took me some time to get out of town, and as I was walking, I was beginning to discover the not so beautiful side of Mt Gambier, the  industrial area, with the giant factory pipes pumping black clouds into the air. And in this day and age! As the drunken dude from the bus would have said “What a disgrace, mate!” 

After a while I felt like I got far enough from the town, so I stack my thumb at the passing cars. In just a few minutes, as I was still walking, a guy pulled up and told me he can drop me off about 10 kilometers up the highway, where his farm is. Turns out he was returning home after dropping his son in Mt Gambier, who was taking a bus to go to Adelaide. After he dropped me off, I assured him I’d wave at the passing bus, and was walking on. It was the middle of nowhere. There were just a few farms on either side, and the traffic was virtually non-existent.  “What if you don’t find anyone to take you?” -asked the driver. “Don’t worry!” - I told him - “Somebody will take me.” And sure enough, in just about 5 minutes, the first passing car, an overly large Toyota Land Cruiser stopped to my aid. Inside was an elderly guy who confessed that he was quite deaf in one ear, so I had to yell everything. I soon discovered however, that he was really cheerful and full of enthusiasm.He said he picks up hitchhikers all the time in the area. That he has a number of farms, both crop and graze farms, and sheep sheering farms. | “My bank balance is so big that I have to go in person for a meeting to the NAB (National Australian Bank) on Elizabeth St in Melbourne this coming Monday!” He actually did say this!

So first we went over to one of his farms to grab some equipment and chuck it in the back in order to bring it to the other farm along the way. It was quite a lot of fun. I’ve never seen reserve roads leading onto the farms like this, thin and large crop plantations or farmland without end on either side. It is exhilarating.  At his farm we grabbed a bunch of extension cables and a large gas cylinder. This aforementioned gas cylinder was extremely heavy as I have made a mistake at attempting to tackle on my own.  “It’s alright, you’re a seedy boy, I got it” - said the guy, and he lifted it up with ease as though it was nothing! In any case, we started on our way to the next farm, this one his son’s, apparently, to bring all of this stuff. It was also along the same highway I was going along, so he’d drop me off there. As we arrived on the farm, there were about 7 people, men and women, sheering sheep. I’ve never seen the process done before so it was quite interesting. A sheep was brought up onto the platform, and the sheerer would expertly hold it and cut all of its wool off with a machine not unlike the ones in a barber shop. Then the sheep was released, and off it went bleating, back to its other bold comrades.

So that was quite interesting. Before I was on my way the guy showed me a spring of pure water, right there on his land, which they use to water all of the plants as well as drink it. I tried some. It tasted amazingly pure. I would not compare it with the taste of the rain water in the Amazon, but it was really good, not to mention warm, because it comes from so deep underground. Well, I’ve never seen a natural spring before, so this was my first. I then wondered off back onto the highway. There was no traffic to speak of, and it was quiet. Not a sound, beside the occasional fly buzzing by. The temperature had risen, since we’ve covered a lot of distance and were further north by then, just off of Kingston.  “If you can’t get a ride by tonight the boys will take you with them to Kingston” - the guy told me before I set out.  After what seemed like 2 hours of sitting in the middle of the road, during which literally not a single car passed by, a heard a motor in the distance. I stood up and got off the road, and stuck my thumb up from the side. Luckily, he stopped. So there, I got a ride!

This guy was from one of the small farms by the ocean, a fisherman by trade, who lured king crabs. “They cost $300 a piece” he would say. He was on his way to Adelaide for a conference, which happens annually and is the only time he leaves his farm. I just happened to be hitchhiking on the same day! Talk about that!  “Appeasing the bureaucrats” - he said.

We conversed about all sorts of things on our way to Adelaide, which was to be about 4 hours drive. We talked about different methods for luring king crabs, conversed about his past and how he used to be a sheep sheerer, and a very good one at that. “When you get good at sheering sheep, and I mean really good, it becomes the most boring job ever. You don’t even think it. You are on autopilot. You are daydreaming, while sheep after sheep is sheered by your hands. Literally like counting sheep for a living. Although when you are that level of sheep sheerer, they also pay you no small sum. And there is a lot of work. Normally they also provide you with board, so you don’t have to pay for accommodation. You can really make a fortune doing it. I used to do it in my youth. But I have a family now. Four kids. They are currently on the boat right now, catching king crabs.” Thus did we converse, passing some amazing scenery on the way to Adelaide.