#and then the wacky book keeper gets involved

[lepusrufus]

Tfw you're walking past the same locked door for the 50th time in a row but you can't do anything about it because nobody has any thieves tools

[fountainpenguin]

If Foop were to be high count would he make a good leader? Also how would he handle his political relationships? Also also how does he view pixies? Thank you!

Foop is strong-willed. He’ll fight for what he’s passionate about, but rarely have a good attitude about things he doesn’t want to do. When he doesn’t understand things, he withdraws and pouts. As High Count, I think he would be pushy about implementing his plans and brush off any critique he received (See also, “You make me sad and afraid!” // “Oh, weep away, Sammy!”)

I see Anti-Cosmo as a leader who’s in tune with his people. Anti-Cosmo’s evil plans focus on what’s best for the Anti-Fairies whereas Foop’s evil plans focus on what benefits him personally. Empathy and compassion are not his strong suits and he has a lot of growing up to do.

One of Foop’s biggest weaknesses, I’ve noticed, is that he’s easily pushed into doing things he doesn’t want to (Obviously he’s a baby in show canon, so age plays a role there). Following his first encounter with Vicky, he flipped out when the Anti-Fairy Council ordered him to work alongside her a second time (“Scary Godcouple”). This from the boy who was trying to suck up to them; he dissolved into an immediate panicked mess and tried to bribe his way out.

Vicky and Anti-Sparky both took advantage of his nervous nature easily, leaving Foop to sink into the background out of fear. If Foop intends to be a good High Count someday, he’ll have to learn to stand up to his bullies… I like how even though Foop is a nasty villain himself, we see a lot of episodes where he’s forced to face his fears. For all his cartoon wackiness, he feels grounded and real and I appreciate that.

Despite his faults, I think Foop works hard and doesn’t give up easily, so he shows a lot of strong leadership qualities that Anti-Fairy World values. I think he’s a little flighty and can’t commit to what he wants, and it would be scary to have him as a lone ruler. But with supportive allies to focus his attention and direct his energy into one political goal at a time, he could be successful.

I consider Foop more patient and likely to plan than Anti-Cosmo (See also, Anti-Cosmo robbing a bakery in broad daylight in front of Jorgen von Strangle vs. Foop’s elaborate scheme to obtain an ice cube and escape Abracatraz). Foop’s patience makes him appear more stable and consistent than Anti-Cosmo in the eyes of the Anti-Fairy public. Both Foop and Anti-Cosmo have their flaws, but their people support them even so.

Foop probably won’t go down in the history books as a generous ruler who’s in touch with the people, but he might be recorded as a strong, passionate fighter constantly pushing back against the Fairies. In his generation, that might be just what his people need.

Foop doesn’t have good relationships with the Pixies, probably because he’s constantly trying to catch and experiment with them. Foop is a scientist and finds studying genetically identical subjects fascinating, especially when it comes to unlocking the reason why some develop into gynes and some into drones.

H.P. and Poof are cross-generation rivals, so H.P. tolerates Foop much better than he tolerates his counterpart. Longwood knows he and Foop are destined to be High Count and Head Pixie together someday soon, so he’s tried to keep neutral-positive views and tends to excuse Foop’s actions because “He’s just a kid.” Sanderson finds Foop annoying and dislikes him, but doesn’t hate him… He judges Anti-Cosmo for “raising Foop this way” more than he judges Foop himself (same reason he blames Ambrosine for H.P.’s flaws, not H.P. himself).

Foop sees the Pixies as annoying and there’s not much more depth to his feelings than that. Anti-Cosmo really involved himself with Pixies, especially while building the Water Temple in Pixie World and raising Talon. Foop isn’t convinced the Pixies have any meaningful culture, and finds certain habits like their “lack of personal space” to be creepy since he himself is from a culture where people stand much farther apart due to sensitive Anti-Fairy ears (See also, Foop and H.P. meeting for the first time in “Yellow Flower Number 9”).

As for political relationships, Foop will probably remain on mostly good terms with his parents throughout life, favoring his mother while his relationship with Anti-Cosmo slowly strains. He lashed out at the Anti-Fairy Council even as a baby, so I feel like if they don’t let him get his way when he’s older, he’ll have a hard time collaborating with them politically. As High Count/heir, Foop legally isn’t allowed to vote for Council members or support specific candidates, so he usually tunes out Council politics and will simply work with what he has when the elections are over.

No matter who the new Keeper of Da Rules is after Jorgen, Foop probably won’t get along with them. Fairy World in general probably wavers back and forth on their opinion of him depending on what he’s doing (Deep down, the Fairies are mischief makers too… They just don’t like mischief to be pulled on them).

I imagine Foop is a well-known celebrity in Fairy World. Thanks to easily accessible media covering his life from his birth through adulthood, along with the bad boy persona in general, I like to think he’s the one Anti-Fairy a lot of Fairies in his age group make exceptions for in their fantasies. Fairy World usually portrays Anti-Fairies as gross, scary, or extremely different. Charming, well-groomed Foop who hasn’t yet destroyed the planet probably catches some flirty eyes. Even Fairies daydream about a little mischief in their lives.

As stated above, Longwood is first in line to be the next Head Pixie. Longwood believes in strict neutrality (as opposed to H.P.’s flip-flopping loyalties) and tries not to cast the Anti-Fairies, Foop included, in a bad light. Foop doesn’t appreciate this as much as he should since he believes Pixies are low in the social hierarchy and not worth nearly as much time as Anti-Cosmo gives them. 

Considering how much time Anti-Cosmo spends with H.P. and Pixies in general, Foop probably grows up jealous of that attention, and starts withholding his affection from Pixie World out of spite. The last thing he wants to do is be exactly like his father.

Anti-Cosmo is a highly emotional person who likes to work alongside friends; you can win him over if you’re genuinely nice to him (even if you hold opposing political views… He lives for debate). Foop likes results, and favors your political background or research experience over kindness. As long as you do your job well and meet your deadlines, he doesn’t care whether you want to suck up or argue with him about it.

[tessatechaitea]

Metamorpho #1

I'll be disappointed if this series doesn't contain at least on Francium joke.

Ha ha! "Donated" by Rex Mason. What a complete and utter dick.

I get how exciting it must have been to be a looter of other countries' treasures. I did play a lot of Dungeons & Dragons as a kid and I never once thought about the poor orc whose home I was invading so I could shove a sword up his ass and steal his precious copper pieces (which I was absolutely disappointed in). Sure, it seems fucked up when you think about it like that. But that's before you remember the alignment system! The orc was automatically the bad guy with his evil alignment! Anything you wanted to do to him was just fine! He was the bad guy! If he didn't want me stealing his copper, maybe he should have made a show of giving up his evil ways and took on the trappings of man and elf! But no! He was content to sit in his dirty hole with his dirty family eking out a dirty living being a rotten, evil monster worth a few lousy experience points. You can't make me care about that stupid orc no matter how many John Gardner wannabes write Grendelesque fan fiction about how the bad person was just a regular ordinary person who got the short end of life's dumb stick! It's fucking propaganda! Wicked, my ass! Don't go making excuses for that witch! She knew what she was doing when she chose a life of flying monkeys and stealing shoes!

"Ha ha! Found. More sherry?"

It's weird to think that Western Civilization has mostly come to the realization that all of these treasures in museums were found at all. Sure, the people in power and the people in charge mostly aren't coming to that conclusion because why would you when you own everything now? But we understand the context of archaeological theft much better. But even as kids watching Raiders of the Lost Ark, how did we not realize Indy was obviously stealing that golden idol right at the beginning? It was in a secure location guarded by traps and after he stole it, the owners tried to chase him down to stop it. And he was as good a guy as you could get in 1981! I guess when one of the greatest tenets of capitalism is "Finders keepers, losers weepers," it's understandable that we all rooted on a terrible thief of cultural artifacts. Rex Mason has given up his exciting career of liberating treasures from dolts who don't know the value of their sacred religious objects because stealing from primitive people and Yetis who just want to be left alone has become too easy. Also he's full of guilt over having a son. His son must live in quarantine since he can turn whatever he touches into other elements. Sapphire's right breast is now polonium. I'm not even going to be distracted from reading this comic book by pondering how Metamorpho had a kid. Last I checked, spermatozoa wasn't on the periodic table of elements. The greatest female archaeologist, Jillian Conway, arrives to tell Rex she's found a cure for his condition (and probably his son's too!). Apparently the Orb of Ra won't kill Metamorpho; it'll cure him if he allows himself to succumb to its power. And she knows this because she was exposed to the meteorite too!

Gross. Can't she make herself hotter by becoming platinum?

Rex agrees to go looking for the Orb of Ra (which was stolen from Stagg) with Jillian. At first, I thought things were going to get romantic. And then I thought things might get alchemic. But then Rex decided the first thing he should do is kidnap his son and bring him on the adventure with them. So I guess this is going to be one of those kinds of stories. A wacky family comedy where dad has to handle the baby all by himself on a trip around the world while the too-disgusting-to-look-at love interest gets ignored. Rex leaves a note for Sapphire but her father trashes it and just tells her Rex kidnapped their son. Why she might believe him and how she came to marry Java, fuck if I know. This was back when DC actually allowed characters to have involved and intimate relationships that led to weird freak baby children!

I didn't realize it was canon that Sapphire Stagg is the best looking woman in the DC Universe (followed closely by Abigail Arcane).

Metamorpho #1 Rating: A-. Not a bad start to a nice little story about fatherhood, capitalism, and second marriages. It might also be about ugly people because all but one of these characters are hideous freaks. Sure, most characters would be hideous freaks compared to Sapphire Stagg. But even disregarding her ethereal beauty so powerful that I've already struck Erin Esurance from the top of my list of cartoon characters I want to touch in a sexy place, they're all disgusting monsters. I just made that list up. It doesn't actually exist. Never mind what I'm holding behind my back.