#and then to come on here and everyone is like ‘fuck kansas city!’ and over analyzing everything she did and who she brought out

[taylorswiftdebut]

hhhhmmm

i’m gonna say it: i hated the eras tour

the actual physical show/performance itself was amazing the visuals and time and effort put in was astounding, taylor swift is genuinely superhuman and there will never be another like her

but being at the actual show and watching it around others sucked fucking ass. which is so strange to say and come to the realization because getting tickets was so mentally draining and she’s my favorite artist and it was such a privilege to be able to go and be on the floor but i genuinely don’t think it as a concert was worth the time and money i put into it. no one was dancing, people were barely singing, it was so hard to see because everyone had their phone held up so high recording every little bit, if taylor came near you people started screaming and making grabbing motions at her like she is subhuman and it just flat out wasn’t fun and that’s only half of it coming online after was even worse.

people will make comments such as “what did this city ever do to deserve this” and “you literally won” and “if you got this surprise song i hate you” and so on and so forth just such vile comments that sure are “all in good fun” but are they? and everyone being like she should have done this at MY show it’s just exhausting. concerts shouldn’t have to be a competition, live music is an art it’s supposed to be fun but i don’t believe anyone but those in the nose bleeds are actually having fun! and even still on this online aspect in the most picky way possible but i hate the quality of gifs this go round because they are so smooth and high quality which no fault to gif makers but what happened to overexposed shaky videos because people were jumping too hard.

it all feels so much a symbol of status and so fake like who’s a better fan who had the better surprise songs who had prettier costumes did taylor give a good speech tonight was there a deviation in the dance moves

i know more about this show than i ever wanted to know about anything in my entire life nothing was ever truly a surprise even when avoiding spoilers it was everywhere it just idk people keep asking me if it was everything i ever dreamed and honestly? no and all i have to show for it is 70 cents in my bank account from buying friendship bracelet supplies (and i didn’t even make enough apparently even though i thought it was a lot!) and outfit supplies and whatever else i needed to “prove” i was a good fan and i deserved to be there and calves that won’t stop cramping from standing and dancing for 6 hours. the best part of the night was hearing about it from my sister who was in the parking lot because she wasn’t preforming for anyone she was just enjoying an artist that she loves

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#379

“Hey Ryan.  I’m hearing all over town that your Pa found out that you are a faggot….  Don’t walk away from me boy!  This ain’t some trap.  I have no problem with you being a sperm burper.  Look, your Pa was going to throw you out of your house.  He was going to come by to pick you up from work and take you to the bus station and leave you with a hundred bucks.  I talked him out of that.  Now get your ass over here.

“Do you recognize me?...  Kinda?  I work for the same company as your Pa.  We don’t interact with each other too much in what we do, maybe once or twice a month.  But today at lunch he was asked by John Gilbert about you, and he got pissed.  He was telling everyone there that he found you giving head to a guy from out of town, and that he was going to kick you out. 

“When everyone sympathized with him and went on their way, I went up to him and told him that I can take help him with his problem.  He looked at me funny… kinda how you are looking at me now.

“Faggot, we may not have interacted other than a glance or two in town or when you would drop in to see your Pa.  I’ve known that you have been sucking dick for a few years now. 

“Oh yeah.  You know that man you were blowing when your Pa saw you?  He’s a good bud of mine.  When Russ comes through town, we usually hang together.  I know he connects with you and has been for a few years.  He tells me all about how he’ll tie you up, sit on your face, and smack you around before pile driving into your cunt.  This visit, he barely had time to say hi to me and to get that infamous blow job from you.

“So yeah, I know about you and your predicament.  Russ was telling me you are a major horndog.  I can easily tell that by the sizeable bulge in your pants, your mouth hanging open, and you can’t stop staring at my chest.  So you like what you see?...

“Of course, you do.  I like that you instinctively address me as ‘Sir.’  Russ also mentioned your natural propensity to submitting to assertive men.  Get closer.  Go on, if you want to touch my chest go ahead. 

“Atta boy.  You are going to see a lot of my chest.  Lick my nipples.  You will find out that my tits are hard wired to my cock.  Oh yeah!  That feels good.  I’m going to train you on how to worship my tits to give me the most pleasure. 

“But first, get out of your work clothes.  I want to see my new toys.  Don’t fucking hesitate.  I waited for everyone to leave; so no one is around.  Don’t make me repeat myself….  Good.  You can expect to be naked back at my farm all the time. 

“Damn, you are big.  Great muscles.  You are definitely one of the cornfed beefy boys around here, not like the nelly fag property I get in Denver or Dallas.  How tall are you?  6’3” and 275 pounds?  Damn boy, how big is that dick?  Eight inches?  Thought so.  Turn around and grab your ankles….  Oooh beautiful beefy ass.  And look at that cunt.  That cunt gets used doesn’t it?

“Besides Russ, who has been in here?...

“Russ can’t be the only one.  There have to be other men to make those lips that puffy.…  You use dildoes?...  I knew it!  You fucking horn dog.  It’s hard to believe that this ass hasn’t been taken by other men, but then again we are six hours from Denver and six from Kansas City and you don’t have a vehicle.

“Stand up.  When I heard your Pa talking shit about you today, I knew I had to own you thinking that you would require a lot of training.  But you seem to have what I’ve been looking for, for a long time. 

“I told your Pa that I would take you off his hands.  As I said, he looked at me kinda strange.  I told him that I would take you to my ranch and he won’t see you again, other than some casual passing by in town.  He was going to tell me to fuck off, until I offered him some cash.  If he took it, he knows he can’t make any waves.  He thought about it and took the money.  I told him that he needs to be gone from his home tomorrow, so we’ll get your shit out of his place.

“Yeah, I bought you.  I don’t have boyfriends or lovers, I have property—always have.  It makes ending the relationship easier when I get bored.  But I think with you, you are going to last a while.  I haven’t had a big beefy bitch boy before. 

“Russ was right, I am going to enjoy using you.  I did talk with him earlier today and asked if I could take you on.  It didn’t feel right not to ask him as he found you first.  He was fine with that as long as he gets to use you when he comes through town.  That’s fine with me.  He told me that you love to eat his ass once he showed you how to do it, that you beg him every time to tongue fuck him.  That’s good because every morning, I set up my morning coffee on my deck.  My property crawls underneath my custom-made rim chair and slurps on my shithole while I begin my day.  And it is a full rimjob, not just licking on the surface.

“Look at your dick, you are leaking more than I have ever seen before by a faggot….  That’s a fucking beautiful sight.  You want all this from me, don’t you?...  Of course you do.  Russ wasn’t giving me the full picture of you.  He says you are a multiple cummer.  I’d like to see that.  In fact, get up in the bed of my truck. 

“Damn, you look good up there.  Step forward.  I want to inspect that cock….  It’s like steel.  This pre-cum of yours is amazing.  Damn!  I completely missed the size of your balls.  They are huge….  You are every inch the bull Russ described.  Let’s get these things drained.

“Over there under that tarp you will find my portable rimseat.  You should also see some wrist and ankle cuffs.  Put the cuffs on first.  You will be secured on the drive home.  All property is treated as cargo….

“Lie down with your head under the rim seat and start jacking off.  Extend your legs to the corners….  A couple D clips and your legs are secure to the truck. 

“I see you jack off left-handed.  Give me your right….  That’s secured too.  After you shoot, I’ll take care of the left.

“OK faggot.  You are the first property I have encountered who hasn’t put up much resistance to becoming owned.  I find that very intriguing. 

“Cum for me.  Shoot it all over your chest.  I want to see the size of your load.  I usually lock up my property’s peckers, but not yours.  I have no desire to do that.  I want that thing used often.  The thing is that I want to know now how fast you recover.

“You are really going to town.  Those balls are flopping all over the place.  Here.  Look up at me.  You look natural under that rim seat.  Normally I prefer property lying behind me for the ass eating, but for now, I want to watch you cum.

“Here comes my shithole.  It is always to be referred to as such.  Sticking your tongue deep inside.  Oh fuck!  Does that feel wonderful.

“Jesus!  You are going to cum already?  Go for it!  Shoot that fucking load!...  Holy shit!...  That’s fucking amazing….  Oh shit, it keeps on cumming. 

“Keep eating my shithole with the same energy you had a minute ago.  Don’t stop eating it until I tell you.  Give me your left hand.  Gonna finish securing you to the truck. 

“Your dick is still dribbling out cum.  When was the last time you came?  …This morning?  And you produced that load.  Jesus Christ.  Normally I put a cock cage on my property, but there is no way I’m going to, or want to, restrain that beast. 

“And those balls!  I also castrate my property and replace what they had with fake balls twice the original size.  Even those fake ones don’t compare to yours.  I may check into augmenting your dick to keep it perpetually hard.  I liked that idea.  I will turn you into a mindless bull.  I’ll take you to Denver or Dallas and watch you destroy fag after fag.

“The one thing I don’t like are your pubes.  You are mostly smooth.  You will look even bigger without that hair.  I’ll have it removed.  Until then….  Pubes yank out so nicely….  Faggot this isn’t going to be all fucking and jacking off for me.  Property needs to know pain.

“It’s been a long time since I have done something new.  When we get home, I’m going to fuck you good.  But that’s after I see your next load and see if it matches this one in size.  That’ll be the lube I use.  After I dump in you, I’ll install you on the dildo machine. 

“Oooh.  Your tongue likes the thought of that.  Do that again.  Oh man!  I’m going to give you an hour to continue to worship my shithole before we head home.  When we get there, I’ll untie you from the truck’s bed. 

“But until then, it’s going to be a nice day.  I’m getting my shithole eaten by my newest property.  I have a fresh bush to yank out one tuft after another to pass the time.  Life doesn’t get any better than this.”

[justagalwhowrites]

Lavender - Ch. 32

You, Joel and Ellie make unexpected friends in Kansas City. A continuation of Lavender Ch. 1-31 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Canon-typical violence. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ only

Length: 3.5K

“Alright,” Joel’s hands rose from inside the sleeping bag, slowly. He noticed a boy, couldn’t have been more than 10, cowering behind man with a fucking gun to your head. A man he very much wanted to kill. “Point those at me, not them.” 

“Doesn’t matter,” the man shook his head. “Don’t want to hurt anyone, just want to help. I’m not going to shoot anyone if you don’t make me. You’re not going to make me, right?” 

“Not going to make you,” Joel sat up slowly. “Just put the guns down, we can forget about all this.” 

“You’re not going to hurt me if I do, right?” He asked. The guns were still out. Joel ground his teeth. “I didn’t hurt your girls, you don’t hurt us, OK?” 

“Yeah,” Joel growled. 

“Doesn’t sound like you mean that,” the man glanced to you and Ellie. “Look man, I’ve never done this shit before, OK? I need to know you’re not going to fucking kill us…” 

“He’s just an asshole!” Ellie said quickly. “He sounds like an asshole, all the time, right Doc? She’s known him forever and he’s never killed her but he sounds like an asshole, right?” 

“Yeah,” you said quickly. “Yeah, he usually just sounds like an asshole. He won’t hurt a kid, trust me. And you’re not going to orphan a kid if you can help it, right Joel?” 

“Right,” he said, voice still strained. 

“Dude,” Ellie looked at him. “Come on!” 

“Anyone tries anything,” the man said, looking between the three of you. “I kill her, got it?” He nodded in your direction. Joel clenched his jaw but nodded. “Don’t have much choice but to trust you…” 

The man with the guns lowered them, slowly, and Joel watched you visibly relax. 

“What do you want with us?” You asked, lowering your hands. “You said you don’t want to hurt us, are you here to turn us in?” 

“No,” he shook his head and laughed once, darkly. “No, can’t turn you in. You three might be the second most wanted people in Kansas City but I’m the first. Turning you in would just get us killed, too.” 

“So what do you want with us?” Joel asked, on his feet now. He had a few inches and plenty of muscle on the other man. He looked at you and Ellie. Both of you looked intact. Or, at least, no more damaged than you were when the three of you had come up here. 

“I’d like to work together,” he said. 

You were smiling a little at the boy who still looked uncertain. 

“Hi there,” you said gently. Your voice was still raspy. 

“He’s deaf,” the man said to you quickly. “His name is Sam. I’m Henry… The kid called you Doc, are you a doctor?” 

“Yeah,” you said, looking up. “Are you hurt?” 

Joel resisted the urge to roll his eyes. The man had just held you at gunpoint and you were offering to help him. 

“No but, could you look over Sam?” He asked. “I’m just… nervous.” 

“Yeah, of course,” you smiled down at the boy again and signed at him. He smiled and signed back. You looked up at the man. “Sorry, I only know a little, I’ll need you to translate a lot of it…” 

Ellie settled back in on the floor, looking content and, for half a moment, Joel wondered if he was the only sane one of you. You’d just been held at gunpoint and suddenly everyone was going to play nice with the man who did it. 

You gave the boy a quick exam, signing and gesturing and smiling as you did. You finished and went into your bag, pulling out some food and handing it to both the newcomers. Joel wanted to be pissed at you for it but… the kid looked skinny. 

“Thank you,” the man said, seeming sincere. “We’ve been trying to stretch what we have for a while. It’s hard telling him no when he says he’s hungry, you know?” 

You nodded, eating a piece of jerky yourself. 

“How old is he?” Ellie asked, nodding at the kid. The man tapped him, signed to him and the boy signed back. 

“He says he’s eight,” he replied. 

“Cool,” Ellie smiled a little, nodding a bit, before she waved. “I’m Ellie.” 

The man signed at the kid who nodded and signed back with a smile. Both you and Ellie looked at him, expectant. 

“I’m Joel,” he eventually said gruffly. Ellie rolled her eyes. “Look, it seems like we’ve all gotten something out of this deal. You didn’t kill us in our sleep so we got to live, you got some food and medical attention. Why don’t we just go our separate ways before someone gets hurt.” 

“See, I’d take you up on that,” Henry said. “But I think we’re after the same thing. And I think it makes a lot of sense for us to work together.” 

“What are we after then?” Joel asked. 

“A way out of Kansas City,” he said. “I saw some of what you did yesterday. Not like you made many friends in town. I’m thinking that’s why you’re up so high, you wanted to stay out of their way and get a good vantage point to plot a way out. Come daylight, I’m happy to show you one. If you bring us with you.” 

“Why should I trust you,” Joel asked. 

“Well,” he shrugged. “If you don’t, you’ll end up picked up by the resistance and they’ll kill you. So really, what do you have to lose?” 

***

Joel clearly didn’t trust Henry as far as he could throw him. 

His arm had still been around you when Ellie roused you, a gun held to her. She’d pressed a finger to her lips and your eyes went wide, ready to wake Joel but she shook her head, gently lifting Joel’s arm from you so you got up slowly, carefully.

Joel hadn’t taken kindly to seeing you and Ellie at gunpoint. That wasn’t surprising. But you were surprised at how close he’d stuck to you since the guns were put away. 

You were confident that Henry wasn’t a threat. He’d just been desperate to save his brother. When you went to try to sleep again, it wasn’t any harder to rest then than it had been before he’d put a gun to your head. Joel, on the other hand, wouldn’t even lie down. He did, however, keep one hand on you, his heavy palm on your side as you tried to get a few more hours sleep. 

“That’s Killa City.” Henry said in the morning, the three of you looking out over the city while the kids played a few feet away. “And right now, Kathleen owns every goddamn inch of it.” 

“What happened to FEDRA?” You asked, frowning. “I’ve heard things on the radio over the years but wasn’t sure how true it was…” 

“Did you hear that they raped, tortured and murdered people for the last 20 years?” He asked. “Because after decades of that, the second anyone else can get a foothold, people will take power like that down. And that’s what happened. It’d been building for a while but it all came to a head and FEDRA fell almost two weeks ago.” 

Joel was standing so close to you that you could feel him breathing. 

“The resistance has taken total control,” he said. “Every street, every building, every freeway that wraps around this damn city is run by her. But there is a way out. If you’ll help us.” 

“Sounds like you’ve got it under control,” Joel said. “What do you need us for?” 

“I can’t do what you can do,” Henry replied. He glanced back toward the kids, making sure they were occupied, before continuing. “I saw you. Yesterday. You took down those men like it was fuckin’ nothing. I can’t do that…” 

“You’re armed,” Joel shrugged. “Clearly have the balls to do it.” 

“Yeah, that?” He shook his head. “That was the first time I’ve ever done anything like that. I’ve never killed anyone, I’ve never fucking shot someone. I can’t do what you can do. But I can be your guide through Kansas City. I’ll show you the way, you clear it. That simple.” 

“Why does Kathleen want you so bad?” You asked. “If we might be working with you, we should know just why you’ve pissed off the leader of the resistance here so bad.” 

“I’m not FEDRA, I’m worse,” he said. “I’m a conspirator.” 

“No,” Joel shook his head sharply. “No way, not workin’…” 

“Didn’t you say once that everyone’s done things they’re not proud of?” You cut him off, raising your brows at him. You’d accepted that he was a killer, that he’d hurt people who didn’t deserve to be hurt. Yeah, FEDRA here sounded like its own special breed of horrible, but sometimes you did what you had to to survive. “Not sure you’re in a place to judge, Joel.” 

He glared at you before looking back at Henry. 

“Fine,” he said. “What’s the way out?” 

Henry told you about the tunnels, that they’d been cleared of infected by FEDRA years ago. You looked over at Ellie and Sam, the two of them writing notes back and forth, laughing. 

“I don’t think we can just hide,” you said, looking up at Joel. Your voice was just about back to normal. “And we have to get to Wyoming…” 

“It’s the best shot we have,” Joel sighed. 

“Then let’s go,” Henry said. 

He’d been right, about the tunnels. They were mercifully empty and quiet, even if they looked like something out of one of the horror movies Joel liked to put on when you were first dating. 

“Oh cool!” Ellie ran into a room off the tunnel before you or Joel could stop her. 

“Dammit,” he muttered, following behind her. 

You understood why she’d just gone for it, once you saw the room. It was filled with toys and books, drawings still taped to the walls. It reminded you of your classroom from before, filled with little signs that the people who were supposed to come here every day were loved. 

“What is this place?” You frowned, heading for a bookshelf. 

“Heard about things like this,” Joel said, looking around. “After the outbreak, people moved underground, had their own societies. Course either the rules didn’t protect from everything they should have or people didn’t listen to them. All it took was one person getting infected…” 

“Fuck yeah!” Ellie plopped down at a table that was clearly meant for someone closer to Sam’s size than her own. “I love this comic! Can we stay? Just for a bit? There’s actually shit to DO in here…” 

“Probably better to wait out daylight,” Henry shrugged. 

Joel sighed. 

“Keep the puns to a minimum,” he said, pulling out a chair at a table meant for adults. Ellie punched the air and opened the comic with Sam looking over her arm. 

“Your daughter…” Henry began, but Joel cut him off. 

“Not my daughter,” he said sharply. You frowned a little, looking over at Ellie. She was absorbed in the comic. 

“She’s a good kid,” Henry said. “It’s nice… seeing Sam with a friend.” 

“Her, too,” you smiled a little. “She’s been lonely for a bit. She needs it.” 

“Look,” Joel said after a moment. “At this point, we’re gonna be walkin’ to Wyoming over the next two months but… if you wanted to come….” 

“I’d like that,” Henry said quickly. “I’d like that a lot.” 

You left the men to talk for a moment, wandering the room to see if you could figure out just how long ago this place had been occupied by people. Some of the drawings on the walls were dated but it looked like it had been 10 years since a new one had gone up. 

Ellie played soccer with Sam, the pair of them taking turns kicking the ball at a chunk of wall that had been painted to say “goal” with the drawing of a net around the edges. 

You went to the bookshelf and tried to find some things you thought would hold Ellie’s attention. The walk to Wyoming was going to be long. Ellie was going to need something to keep her mind busy when you were stopped for the night. 

There were a few books that you had vague memories of that had never made it onto your shelves in Boston. You grabbed them, adding them to your pack, before wandering back over to Joel and sitting next to him. 

“Should check on Sam,” Henry muttered, getting up and leaving you and Joel alone. 

“How are you doing?” He asked after a moment, looking you up and down. 

“Throat’s almost back to normal,” you said. “I got lucky. It could have been much worse.” 

He nodded slowly, shifting in his chair so he was leaning toward you. His elbow brushed your arm. 

“Can I ask you something?” You said quickly, before you could think better of it. He just nodded once. “Are you OK?” 

He frowned. 

“What d’you mean?” 

“I mean,” you said slowly. “You’ve been… You keep touching me. Last night, back in Lincoln… I just want to make sure you’re doing OK. You can just talk to me, if you need someone to talk to. You don’t have to touch me, it’s OK.” 

He paused, frowning a little.

“You think I’d only touch you if something was wrong?” He said after a moment. 

“I mean,” you laughed a little. “I was there for the last 15 years, too. I hope nothing is wrong but… I know you offered to take us west but I don’t expect you to take care of me. You’re not beholden to me for that. You don’t need to try to deal with my issues when I do something like kill someone. I’ll get through it.

“Anyway, I just wanted to make sure that you were OK,” you continued. “You’re just not acting like yourself.” 

“M’fine,” he grumbled after a moment, getting to his feet. “We should keep movin’.”

***

He almost didn’t want to admit that Henry had been right about the tunnels but Henry had been right about the tunnels. 

They’d been deserted, no sign of infected or resistance in sight. It made it easy to get across the city, get out from the core of it that the resistance had locked down. 

Joel found it funny how quickly shit like the resistance became just like the thing they were fighting against. Them and the fuckin’ Fireflies both, saying they’re better than FEDRA and the shit they do. In the meantime, Fireflies are blowing people up, the resistance is hunting down a man trying to take care of his baby brother. The second a person has power, they abuse it. It seemed to be the only constant thing about people. They were always ready to hurt. 

Joel was no different. 

You were. 

You, who thought he was acting weird because he’d been kind to you. Because he’d touched you. You didn’t trust his kindness any more than he trusted FEDRA. Tommy had told him once that you’d stop forgiving him. 

He’d thought, once, that he’d pushed you that far. But you kept proving him wrong. He just hoped that he hadn’t gotten you to the point that Tommy had warned him about. He wasn’t sure he could come back from that. 

But touching you… He could fix that. He could stop pushing you away, he could apologize, he could do whatever you needed until you felt safe letting him love you again. He knew he could do it. 

He was done trying to keep his distance from you. Done trying to pretend like, if he was far enough away, losing you wouldn’t kill him. It would. It didn’t matter if you were beside him or across the planet it would hurt the same. 

It seemed so stupid now, in hindsight, thinking that the distance could change anything at all. You’d become a part of him decades ago, he couldn’t cut you out of him any more than he could cut out a lung or his nervous system. Loving you was part of the fabric of him. 

That fact hurt. It hurt at the core of him, that he cared that much. It was aching and vulnerable and terrifying but that ache was there whether he acknowledged it or not. That’s what he’d fought against for years, the notion that he loved you and couldn’t do a damn thing to save himself from it. He knew now that he couldn’t. All he could do was surrender to it, to your soft smiles, to the ribbons in your hair, to the thick laughter when the girl read a pun aloud from her book. All he could do was let it swallow him and love you through it. Keep you and the girl safe as you made your way west. Because that’s what he was here to do. Protect you.

“Don’t know why we can’t just use our lights out here,” Ellie said after they’d been back at street level for a few minutes. “No one’s out here to be hiding from…” 

“Want it to stay that way,” Joel grumbled. “We’ll be clear of the city soon enough….” 

He barely got the last word out when the bullet went whizzing past him. 

His chest went tight and his stomach dropped. Time slowed. He looked for you and Ellie, you’d been walking together, joking about something, he’d heard you laugh just a minute ago and the sound was so close to Ellie’s voice… 

You’d moved faster than him, your hands already on the girl, tucking her low and trying to cover her with your body. Joel grabbed you both and tucked you down low, behind a car, Henry and Sam not far behind. A bullet rang off the hood. 

“Fuck!” Henry pressed himself back against the car door, holding Sam tightly to him. “What the fuck is that?” 

“They’ve got a sniper,” Joel muttered. “Shitty one but they got one. Must be watchin’ for us to leave town….” 

Another bullet hit the car. Joel felt you flinch beside him. 

He thought for a second. He couldn’t sit here with you forever. If there were any patrols that came near here, they’d hear the gunshots at the very least. Another bullet hit the car. He’d need to take that sniper out. He freed his pistol. 

“What are you doing?” Your eyes were wide, your hands still on Ellie, clutching the girl to your side. 

“I’m going to go take him out.” 

“No!” You said it quickly. “No, you can’t, you’re going to get yourself killed you can’t…” 

“It’s pitch black and he’s a shit shot, Baby, not gonna get myself killed,” he said, keeping his voice calm. He hadn’t meant to call you baby. He didn’t care. “I’ll go, take care of ‘em, we can move. We can’t leave him forever, he’ll either call in backup or someone’ll hear ‘em. I have to go.” 

“Joel,” you tried to argue more but he cut you off. 

“Stay low.” 

He didn’t wait for you to respond, instead darting around the car to another for cover, working his way closer to the house. The bullets followed him but they couldn’t seem to find him. He saw the flash of the muzzle in the window, saw where the shots were coming from. Knew where he had to go. 

When he made it to the side of the house, the shots stopped following him. He half expected to get jumped by someone as he ran in the house but no one came. It didn’t take long to figure out why.

The sniper was an old man, someone Joel would normally try to not kill.

But he was a man who had shot at you. Still. He would try to avoid it.

“Give me the gun,” he said, pistol in his hands. “Sit over there for an hour. Then you can go.” 

The man glared at him. 

“Don’t do it,” he warned, hands tightening on his gun. 

The man ignored him, going to raise the rifle. 

Joel shot him and he slumped forward, gun in hand. 

The man had a fair bit of ammunition stashed up here from the look of it. He must have been sitting on it all instead of practicing. All the better for Joel, who started gathering some up to take back with him. He’d always liked rifles. 

He was just about to head back down when there was a crackle at the dead man’s feet. 

“We’re close,” a woman’s voice said. “Just hold them there for another minute!” 

They were coming. They were almost here and you and Ellie were a football field away and you didn’t know and he couldn’t get to you in time. Not when he could hear a truck coming. 

“Run!” He screamed it, grabbing the rifle and getting set in the window, watching for you to move. 

You didn’t. 

His stomach clenched. His chest got tight. All he could do was try to protect you and Ellie and pray to whatever god there was that it would be enough.

A/N: I know, I know I'm splitting the Kansas City stuff up across multiple chapters but I think it's worth it! I'm excited to share just how Kathleen and Doc interact. Even more excited for the chapter immediately after the KC chapters IYKYK

After the next chapter, we're going to be diving back into OC land for a while - we're going to see a lot more of the walk west than we did on the show. All to our benefit, I think!

I have a taglist! If you'd like to be added, please comment below.

Thank you so much for reading and caring about this story! It means the world to me. Thank you and love you!

Taglist: @paleidiot @ayamenimthiriel @ginger-swag-rapunzel @drewharrisonwriter @flugazi @pedropascalsbbg @taoyuji @starstruckmusiciansartghost @splendsay @bigboiseason123 @jpbplvr @ashleyandring @mrsyixingunicorn10 @sloanexx @ninaminaromina @lady-bellyn @hufflepuffriver @sarap-77 @storyarcscribe @mellymbee @jasminedragoon @lemonmeli @reds-ramblings @arizonadaydreamer @mumma-moonchild @blackroseguzzi @candypeaches16 @kittenlittle24 @wrappedinfiction @oatmeaiboy @pedritosdarling @winchestergypsy90 @imnotdatboii @lalalalemonade11 @maknimuk1 @mrsdarcyinlovewithbuckybarnes @pedrosaidsheispunk @commanderawkward @n7cje @elliesgirlll @tsunamistorm123 @spookyxsam

[mamaestapa]

Morning Sickness, Baby Bumps, and AFC Championships, oh my!

•pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

•series summary: Y/n Hubbard, the younger sister of Cincinnati Bengals Defensive End Sam Hubbard, finds herself in a difficult situation after a steamy hookup with her brothers best friend, who just so happens to be the quarterback for the Bengals. In just nine months their lives will be changed forever. How will Y/n and Joe manage to to go through parenthood together? more so, how will Sam take the news he is going to be the uncle of his best friends baby?

•chapter summary: It’s AFC championship day!you talk to Joe for the first time since you broke the news to him and you discover a sweet surprise

•word count: 4k

•warnings: Pregnancy, morning sickness, vomiting, mentions of dildos (you’ll see-), language, the usual ;)

series masterlist

——————————————————

January 28-29, 2023 (the actual game is not accurate. I didn't feel like going back and looking at play by play stuff lol)

2 months pregnant

"All right, everyone here?" Zac asked, rubbing his hands together and surveying the crowd full of players. The players, coaches, and other staff including you were all sitting half dead, in the film room of the Kettering Health practice facility, at 4 fucking am. Why were you all there at 4 am you might ask? Well, AFC championship is tomorrow, woo hoo! (Can you hear the sarcasm? You’re excited, just not excited to be here at four in the morning…) You really don't know why Zac needs all of you to be here at four AM if you’re not even leaving until nine? You sat between Sam and Tee, trying to stay awake as Zac was rambling on about the upcoming game. Joe was sitting to your right, next to Sam. Every once in a while, the two of you would glance at one another, your quick, blank glances speaking so many unspoken words. You could tell Joe was still trying to process the news that he was going to be a dad.

You groaned silently and shut your eyes in agony as as Zay pulled down a projector. You leaned over and whispered to Sam, "He made us all come here at four in the morning for this? I don't even need to be watching this shit." It’s true. There is absolutely no reason or benefit for you to watch film for the next four hours.

Sam scoffed, "Tell me about it...I spent all week watching film." Tee leaned over your body, "Diddo." he spoke lowly. Joe’s eyes widened as he looked at Tee. “Did you just say dildo?" he asked, horrified.

You snorted out a laugh. A couple guys turned around and looked at you. Then, Zac stopped talking. Your heart dropped at the sudden attention on you. You could feel your face start to heat up as you spoke, “Sorry coach, I-I felt a sneeze coming."

Zac shook his head, "S’all good. As I was saying..." You turned your attention back to the football players around you. Tee tried to suppress a laugh as he shook his head at his quarterback, “No you dirty minded fuck, I didn't say dildo. I said diddo."

Joe chuckled, “Oh. oops." You just shook your head as the two chuckled. You leaned back in your seat and ignored the childish men next to you, instead trying to focus on staying awake. There really was no reason for you to even be here. You could be in your bed right now, getting enough sleep before your flight to Kansas City, but no. Zac insisted everyone come to the practice facility for film. You shook your head as you heard the guys snicker beside you. You ignored them once again and went back to trying to stay awake.

Your attempts ultimately failed as you felt your head fall onto Tee's shoulder. You suddenly jerked your head up at the contact. "Sorry Tee..." you whispered as you rubbed your heavy, tired eyes. Tee wrapped a muscular arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him, "You're alright, babe. Get some sleep." You smiled softly, cuddling into his side and drowning out the sounds of Zac's voice as he explained the current selection of film.

About an hour later you woke up to a sudden feeling of nausea. This morning sickness thing really gets old quick...but it's so going to be worth it in about seven months. At least, you hope it'll be worth it.

You jolted your head up from Tee's shoulder, swallowing thickly and feeling a sour taste in your mouth as you did so. You brought your hand up to your mouth, covering it discreetly with a few fingers. Tee looked down at you, a look of deep concern appearing on his face, "You alright?" You nodded, "Yeah," you swallowed once again, stomach churning as the bile began to rise u the back of your throat. You didn't have long before you'd be throwing up. "I uh, I just have to go to the bathroom...girl problems." You lied as Tee let go of you and nodded, "Oh okay. I'll keep your spot warm." You winked in return, "Thanks, you're the best."

You discreetly got out of your chair and quietly hurried over to the bathroom, basically throwing yourself into a stall as soon as you got in there. You hovered over the toilet and immediately pulled your hair back as you retched into the toilet. You heard the door open, causing you to raise your head from the porcelain bowl. You wiped your mouth and took a deep breath, waiting to hear who was in the bathroom with you.

"Y/n?" you heard a familiar voice ask, "you in here?" You felt your heart drop as you heard him speak. "Y-yeah. I'm in here, Joe." You said shakily as you held your hand out under the stall for him to see. Suddenly, you felt another wave of nausea consume you. You groaned, "Oh god..." Joe jogged over to the stall and swung the door open. He quickly leaned down and grabbed your hair, holding it back for you and rubbing your back with his free hand as you coughed into the bowl. "There you go," he soothed quietly, "just let it all out."

You were a bit confused as to why Joe was in the bathroom with you. But you were even more confused over the fact that he was helping you, calming you down through your first round of morning sickness. You figured he'd need more time to process the news about the baby, but here he was, helping you out with the sickness caused by that same baby. You hurled once again, groaning into the bowl as the early morning nausea raged on. Joe couldn't help but grimace as he looked down at you. "I'm sorry, I really am." he said, his grimace turning to a frown as you brought your head up from the toilet. You reached up to flush the toilet, wiping your mouth at the same time. "No you're not." you said, taking a deep breath. Morning sickness was absoluetly exhausting. And being up since 3 o'clock in the morning didn't help either.

Joe chuckled and wrapped his arms around your waist. You leaned back into his touch, not even thinking about what you were doing. All that vomiting must have clouded your judgement. The two of you sat in tense silence for a moment before you broke it. "Why are you in here?" you asked softly. You felt Joe shrug beneath you, "You seemed a little frantic getting out of there," he cleared his throat, "plus, I know the first trimester can be rough with the whole morning sickness thing. Figured that's why you ran off..." You just hummed in response.

After a couple minutes of composing yourself, you no longer felt nauseated. You wiped your mouth one last and stood up from Joe's embrace. Joe stood the same time as you and backed out of the stall, so that you could leave. He watched from the stall door with soft eyes as you washed your hands and rinsed your mouth out. You turned to the side to grab a paper towel. Joe couldn't help the faint gasp that left his lips as he saw what was in front of him. You looked up at him through the mirror, confused as to why he was gasping, "Huh?" you asked. You swore you could see his blue eyes begin to well with tears. You turned around and looked at him, concerned, "What!?" "Turn to the side again." Joe instructed, gesturing for you to turn again. You gave him a funny look as you furrowed your brow in confusion, "O-okay?"

You did as Joe said. You looked at him through the mirror, unsure of what he wanted you to look at. He just pointed at the mirror as your eyes surveyed all over the mirror. You couldn't find what he was tearing up over; however, your eyes immediately widened when you finally saw what it was.

"Oh my god..." you breathed out, placing both of your hands on your belly. You flattened your shirt, discovering that there was now a very small bump where your previously flat stomach was. Your heart swelled as you looked at the little bump that was beginning to form. The bump that was only going to grow bigger and bigger as the months flew by. Your baby was finally starting to show and your pregnancy was really starting to feel real now. You looked up at Joe through the mirror once again, smiling widely. Joe had the same smile tugging at his lips.

"Well," he slowly made his way up to the sink, "would you look at that..." he said in awe, which you couldn't help but giggle. "I didn't think i'd show this early." Joe chuckled, looking down at your tummy, "Baby definitely decided to make an appearance today didn't he?" "He?" you inquired, eyebrow raised as you looked at the blonde. "Yeah, I think it's a boy." he shrugged. "Oh really? Are we placing bets already?" you said, smirking at him. Joe chuckled, "Maybe"

You smiled softly, looking down at your small baby bump. You looked back up at Joe, noticing how his blue eyes seemed to light up every time he looked at your belly. You knew you needed to talk to him about the baby and his reaction to your pregnancy. You needed to know what he was going to do and how he was processing the news of becoming a father. It would be easy to bring up since neither of you were really thinking about anything at the moment except for the life inside your womb.

"Joe," you said, your voice just slightly above a whisper, "we need to talk." Joe nodded, "Yeah, we do."

You took a deep breath as you saw his mouth open as if he was going to say something to you. He closed his mouth and just looked at you, neither one of you really knew how to start the conversation. You looked into his eyes and sighed softly. You decided to be the one to rip off the bandaid and get the conversation started.

"How are you doing?" you asked, referring to the baby news bomb you had dropped on him just days ago. Joe shrugged, "I'm OK. Still trying to process things." he said softly as he looked down at you. His blue eyes averted from your eyes and down to your belly. A small smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. "I know I said I wasn't ready to be a dad yet, but," he reached out for your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, "I won't let you go through this alone, Y/n."

Tears began to well up in your eyes at his words. You blame the hormones, but really, they were tears of relief. You and Joe still needed time to process everything, but it was so good to know he wasn't going to abandon you or his baby.

"I still need some time, and I know neither of us are ready to be parents," he looked into your eyes, his gaze soft, "but we'll get through this together."

You smiled softly at him. Deep down you knew Joe would never make you go through parenthood by yourself, but it was still reassuring to hear him say it himself. There was a still a lot you and Joe needed to discuss regarding your pregnancy and your relationship, but this was a good starting point. And hey, you still have about seven months to figure everything else out.

"Thank you Joe." You spoke softly. Joe nodded and gave you a small smile in return, "Of course, Y/n. We'll talk more after the game, yeah?" You nodded, "Okay," you glanced at your watch, noticing that a lot of time has passed since you first went into the bathroom, "we should probably get back out there before anyone gets suspicious." Joe stood up straight from his leaning position on the bathroom counter, "You're right," he sighed, "we should probably go back out there. I don't feel like getting my ass called out by Taylor." You giggled as you pulled your leggings up higher to try and conceal the slight bump in your lower abdomen. The bump wasn't too big yet, so if someone asked about it, you could hide it by saying it was simply just period bloat.

Joe walked out of the bathroom before you did, so the two of you didn't come out and sit back down in your seats at the same time. You. waited a couple more minutes before exiting the bathroom, and quietly making your way back over to your seat. Tee looked up at you and smiled softly, "You okay? It took you a while in there." You held your hand up, stopping him, "Trust me, you don't want to know." He shuddered as he remembered what you told him when you got up to use the bathroom, "Yeah you're right, I probably don't." You just chuckled and sat back in your seat, listening to the rest of the Zac's film breakdown.

~time skip~

"Okay everyone" Zac said, gesturing out to all of you standing around, "we board the plane in ten. See ya on there!" You sighed, ready to get out of the airport gate and onto the plane.

"Hey Y/n, can I steal you real quick?" Zac asked, walking up behind you. You turned around to took look at the coach, smiling as you said, "Yeah, of course." You got up from your seat and followed him away from the crowd of players. He stopped in front of the coffee bar, you doing the same. "You sure you still want to come?" he asked, crossing his arms. You nodded, "Yes, definitely! Why wouldn't I?" He frowned softly as he lowered his voice, "I saw you get up and go to the bathroom. Morning sickness hitting you hard?"

Your shoulders fell in defeat as you let out a sigh. "Yeah, it is. But I'm fine now," you smiled slightly, "I probably won't be around eleven though, but I'll manage." Zac nodded, "Okay, just wanted to make sure. You don't need to do anything tomorrow except enjoy the game. Kate's got everything covered." You smiled, grateful that Zac handled everything, "Oh okay, great. Thanks coach." He smiled, "yup, thank you. I'll see you on the plane." Zac walked away, leaving you alone to walk back over to the guys.

"You guys ready to be AFC champs again?" you asked, smiling brightly as you got closer to the group. Sam smirked, "Hell yeah." Ja'Marr smiled as he fist bumped Sam, "We're goin' all the way again this season."

The Bengals and Chiefs battled eachother for the AFC champion title just last year, with the Bengals winning. This time however, the Chiefs were ready for their revenge against the boys in orange and black. As time neared to board the plane, you double checked and made sure you had everything you needed before boarding the plane. You had the option to have your own seat up front near the coaches, and coordinators, or you could sit with all the guys. After much whining and pleading from Ja'Marr and Tee, and them earning an eye roll from you in return, you decided to sit with the guys. They cheered as you walked down the aisle of seats, finding Tee with an empty seat next to him. You happily sat down next to him as you looked to see who was around you. In front of you sat Joe and Sam, while Ja'Marr and Evan McPherson sat next to you. As the plane started moving, you pulled out your phone.

"Hey guys, get in." you said, smiling as you held out your phone so it could get all the guys in the frame. You took a selfie with all five of them and posted it to your instagram story, along with the teams story. You shut your phone off, put your AirPods in, and drifted off into a much needed rest.

You woke up about an hour later to surprise, surprise another feeling of nausea. You looked at your watch checking the time, and sure enough, it was eleven AM. You groaned slightly as you felt a sour taste in your mouth, getting up and quietly making your way into the bathroom. Thankfully, almost all the guys had headphones on, and the planes engine was loud enough to drown out the sound of you throwing up. After cleaning yourself up you made your way back to your seat. As you walked down the aisle, you noticed most of the guys were asleep except for Joe, and a few others. You walked by his seat, acknolweding him by reaching out to gently squeeze his shoulder. You smiled softly as he looked up at me. Joe smiled and reached out, letting his hand graze your lower belly for just a couple seconds. You sat back down in your seat, leaning on your hand, and slowly drifting back to sleep for the rest of the flight to Kansas City.

~time skip~

"You guys have worked your asses off all year to get here. Go out there and make all that hard work pay off. Go out there and make me proud guys. But don't just make me proud. Make your family, your friends, your kids, and most importantly, your fans proud! Prove the haters, the doubters, the ones saying you wouldn't get to this moment ever again, prove them wrong! Go out there and kick some ass guys. I know you're all hungry for another AFC championship win, so let's go out there, and play like fucking champions today!" Zac yelled, finishing up his pre-game locker room speech.

Your eyes widened as you heard chanting and clapping break out in the locker room. You made your way out of the locker room tunnel and out to the Bengals sideline of the stadium. As you made your way out there, you waved to some of the fans in the stands. Normally a social media manager wouldn't get the attention of fans, but having Sam Hubbard as your older brother gets you a lot of attention--from fans and other players.

About fifteen minutes later, kickoff rolled around. The Chiefs received the ball first. You stood on the sidelines in your "Hubbard" jersey, black leggings, black boots and orange puffer jacket, watching as the defense went to work. Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes faked a hand off to Pacheco, instead opting to throw to tight end Travis Kelce, who ran it in 15 yards for a Cheifs touchdown. The crowd in Arrowhead went wild, Cheifs fans already celebrating their 6, now 7, point lead. You watched as Joe jogged onto the field, ready to catch up. The Bengals offense took the field, looking flawless the first couple plays, until they got down to the 20 yard line. Joe Mixon took a nasty hit, and his return to the game was questionable. The Bengals took a time out after their lead back got injured. You made eye contact with Joe as he got a drink. You gave him a thumbs up. He smiled slightly before jogging back onto the field. The guys got out of their huddle just by a clap from Joe's hands. By the way the players were set up on the field, you knew that Joe would be throwing the ball.

"Turbo set hut" Joe yelled out his cadence. You stood on your tip toes to watch the scene in front of your. Just as you expected, Joe flawlessly threw the ball to Ja’Marr for a touchdown.

"Touchdown Cincinnati!" The announcer yelled.

"Yes!” You yelled, cheering along with Kate through the commotion in the stands. You high-fived Joe as he walked by taking his helmet off. He sat down on the bench and put his Bengals beanie on as a water boy put a black sideline coat over his body. The rest of the first quarter was pretty boring, as not much was happening. Same with the second quarter, except for the Chiefs making a field goal before half.

At half time, the Chiefs were leading 10-7. You stayed out on the sidelines with Kate as the guys went to the locker room. After halftime, the Bengals received the ball at kickoff. Trent Taylor ran it up to the 30 before getting tackled. Joe and the guys ran onto the field. They ran the ball for a couple of plays, which didn’t get them anywhere. At this point, the Bengals were at 3rd down, and Zac still wanted them to run the ball. You watched as Joe decided it wouldn't be good for them to run it, so he faked a hand off to Perine, and threw the ball instead. You held your breath, watching as Joe lofted the ball into the air. Tee caught the ball and took off running, but he was immediately knocked down. However, the Bengals did successfully get the 1st down. Joe went to throw the ball again, but he got sacked. After a couple plays, the team was at 4th down, with Zac deciding to go for it. Unfortunately, Joe’s pass was tipped and picked. Everyone on the Bengals sideline shoulders slumped, upset with the outcome of the play. The fans in the stadium went wild as a defensive player caught the ball.

Fast forward to the final five minutes of the 4th quarter...both teams were tied. The guys looked great the beginning of the half, but something seemed off toward the end. Joe wasn't throwing as consistently and accurately, and the receivers seemed to be out of sync. Even the defense struggled to keep up with the pressure and intensity of the Chiefs offense.

Sadly, the Bengals made a late hit, giving the Chiefs a brand new set of downs with 10 seconds left. Harrison Butker, kicker for the Chiefs, made the field goal, sending the Kansas City Chiefs to the Super Bowl.

Arrowhead went insane as the players celebrated on the field. Many Bengals players and coaches went out to the field to congratulate their opponents. You looked over at Sam and frowned, mouthing, “I’m so sorry.” He just shrugged and smiled sadly at you.

You could tell this loss wasn’t going to be easy on anyone.

~time skip~

You and Kate sat in the conference room set up in the stadium for post game interviews. The four players that would be getting interviews done from the Bengals were Coach Taylor, Joe, Ja’Marr and Sam.

Zac went first, talking about the outcome of the game and how the off-season would look for the team. You weren’t really listening to what he was saying, you just sat there and tuned out his voice as your thoughts ran wild. It was the off-season now, meaning you and Joe could focus on the more important things in your lives right now. The list too long to even begin naming…

You head perked up as you saw Joe walk up to the podium. You sat up a little straighter and listened carefully as the blonde did his post game interview.

"Hey Joe, we just have a few questions. How are you handling this loss? Joe nodded, "Yeah, we uh, it's tough. It’s tough to lose such a big game like this, but our guys are going to take this as a learning experience, and uh, come back next year better than the last." He finished with a nod, turning to look at the next reporter.

"Joe, after the first half...you threw that interception, got sacked, and your throws didn’t look good out there. Why is that?"

Joe had a slight look of disappointment on his face, but he wouldn’t let the reporters notice. You on the other hand couldn't help but frown at the reporters question.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I will not be the first to say that I was not playing well the fourth quarter. I was trying to, to make plays out of something that wasn't there, and it ultimately lost us the game."

"You feel like you're the reason the team lost?" the reporter questioned. Joe nodded, "I do,” he sighed softly, “And uh, I feel that if I wouldn't have thrown that pick, maybe we would have won, but it's hard to say. They were the better team today, and our guys-,” he hesitated before he said, “we looked good at times, but, we definitely struggled that second half."

You couldn't help but feel a little guilty. Maybe if I would've waited to tell him about the baby after the game, he would've played better. You thought to yourself as you continued to watch Joe.

"Hey Joe,” he looked at the next reporter and nodded, “what do you think caused your team to underperform that second half?”

Joe shrugged, "I can't speak for the other guys, but for myself I can," he glanced at you as he said the following, "I received some very exciting, but also uh, nerve wracking, I guess you could say. Uh news a couple days ago, and I guess I was still focused on that.” He chuckled, making the reporters laugh too.

He composed himself and looked at the reporter as he continued, "but uh, the nerves from, from that and you know just the nerves from this game today really affected my performance. It’s huge to win something like this, and to go out there and perform the way that we did, the way that I did, it, it’s tough. But,” he sighed, “You can't blame just one person, it's a whole team effort. There were things that I could've done better, things our defense could've done better. Everyone could have been better.”

"Thank you Joe.“ A female reporter spoke up, “One last question, Joe.” he looked at her and nodded, setting his lips, “What’s this news you're talking about?"

Joe looked at you sheepishly before answering the question, "Well, I can't say right now, but you'll find out in the off-season for sure.” he winked. He smiled slightly at you as he said, “but I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for the long run,” he looked back at the reporters and continued, “you'll see us here again next year, better than ever.”

"Thank you, Joe."

"Yep." he nodded as thanked the reporters and walked off the stage.

You smiled to yourself, knowing he answered that last question for you. Joe wasn't going anywhere.

~time skip~

"Sam,” you said, laughing at your older brother, “that's my seat."

Sam sat down next to Tee on the plane before you could. “Well not anymore.” He chuckled, smiling smugly as he made a show to snuggle himself into the seat. You rolled your eyes and backed up slightly, "Fine,” you said, “I’ll l sit with Joe." You put your bag in the compartment above the seat, shutting it and looking down at Joe, who was seated in the window seat. “Sorry.” You smiled softly, sitting down in the aisle seat next to him.

Joe looked up at you, "You’re good.” he said, his voice soft. You sat back in the seat, getting comfortable as the plane took off. The plane ride was silent and somber. Almost all of the guys were asleep, except for a couple here and there that were spread out throughout the plane. You, however, were wide awake. You turned around to look behind you. Tee and Sam were sound asleep. You turned back to look at Joe and saw he was looking out the window. You frowned slightly and reached out, gently placing your hand on his knee. He turned his head at the sudden touch, a soft smile on his face as he looked at you.

"Hey Y/n." he said softly. You pulled your hand away, “How you doing?" you asked, your voice low so only he could hear you. Joe shrugged, "Ok I guess. I’m disappointed, I feel like I really cost us that game with that interception." You frowned at his response, “Awe, Joe, don't blame yourself. Seriously, you guys did great. Could you have played better? Yes. But that’s doesn’t mean the Chiefs were perfect. They struggled just as much as you guys did.”

He smiled softly, looking into your eyes as he nodded, “Yeah, I guess you're right."

“I’m proud of you guys either way though.”

“Thanks Y/n.” Joe said softly. The two of you just looked at each other, neither one of you saying anything for a few moments. After a couple minutes of silence, Joe sighed and spoke up, “I’m sorry if I worried you a couple days ago, when you told me about the you know…” he trailed off, “I still need time to process things,” he slowly brought his hand over to hover over your tummy, you gently grabbed his hand and placed it on your lower abdomen. The two of you smiled at each other.

“But I am starting to come around to this.” he said, his tone genuine. You placed your hand over his as you smiled warmly at him, “I am too.” You gently rubbed his hand with your thumb as you sheepishly looked up at him, “I have my first ultrasound in a couple weeks. You’re more than welcome to come.” Joe nodded, his blue eyes shining, “Send me a date and time. I’ll see what I can do.”

The two of you pulled your hands away and wished the other goodnight. Your thoughts wandered to what you had to talk about with Joe.

How would you tell your parents?

How would you tell Sam?

How would you tell his teammates, his friends?

Where will the baby stay?

How will you and Joe raise the baby since you’re not together?

There was so much to talk about these next seven months. But for now, it was comforting to know he wasn’t going anywhere. Even if you weren’t together, you and Joe would be raising this baby together.

hi loves!

some sweet moments in this chapter, and joes starting to come around to the baby…for now😏

i haven’t updated this series in a couple weeks and i apologize for that. i’ve been in a little slump, but i think i’m finally coming out of it :)

i’m hoping to update this again this week, along with the first part of the jealous joe fic that we’re all looking forward to! i cant wait to start that one, i’ve got some good things planned that i think you’ll like ;)

i hope you’re all doing well! thank you for your patience with me as i took a break from updating. i appreciate you all so much🤍🤍

tags: @dandelionwrites8 @joeburreauxsworld @theflawedwriter @mrsshiesty @ann288 @ijustcrypretty @theoneandonlyfanz @wickedfun9 @venus-b @hummusxx @stainednailpolishremover @a-moment-captured @alternativemadchen @erinmartin1987 @sirlewisworld @kkrenae @unhingedfangirl @sublimemusic-rebel @meameagirl @ilovejoeburroww @hallecarey1 @j-worlds-blog @blinkloverx3 @jordyn14 @kristencochefski1125 @emherb10

[soulofapatrick]

Keep You Safe - Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: Kansas City was meant to be a quick pass through but things never go how you plan them 

Words: 3.2k

Warnings: none that I can think of 

Notes: I’m watching the episodes, catching up as I write these 

Y/N’s POV

Frank hugs me tightly before handing me the book, the letters sticking out of the top. I don’t want to take it as it means we might not see each other again but Frank forces it into my hands with a whispered promise of “You need to bring this back as you haven’t read it to me yet.” It’s a promise. A promise they’re expecting us to come back in any shape or form and I just hug Frank again, scared this will be the last time I see him. 

“Take care,” Bill nods gruffly from where he’s standing awkwardly next to Frank and I just roll my eyes, yanking Bill into a hug. He lets out a surprised sound but does wrap his arms around me, “You keep him sane. He’ll go mad without you.” 

“I will.” I promise before saying my final goodbyes and sliding into the backseat of the Chevy Bill’s reluctantly letting us borrow. I’d sit in the front but I’m already mad at Joel as he tried to persuade me to stay here again. Everyone can sense the tension in the air between us but no one says anything, none of them knowing why. All they saw or heard was the sharp sting on me slapping him when he even thought of leaving me behind again. I shouldn’t have slapped him but I thought we were past this and the fact he’d try and persuade me to stay here while he goes off handing my sister to her death… I was furious. I still am. 

Ellie spins around in the front seat to look at me, clover green eyes narrowed as she asks, “So, what he do?” 

“Nothing.” I snap, crossing my arms like a petulant teenager. I get to be a petulant teenager when he acts like a prick like that. Ellie just raises an eyebrow at me and waits, “He tried to leave me behind.” 

“Awww he loves you.” She grins and my cheeks heat up ridiculously quickly. Joel’s climbing into the driver seat before I can make any snide remark back so I just sneer at her before she turns back to explore the car. It’s her first time in a car and it’s amusing watching her flip the visor down then back up, leaning out the window to push the side mirror in while Joel just watches with an exasperated look on his face, “’s like a damn spaceship.” 

“No, it's like a piece of shit Chevy S10.” Joel grumbles and I can’t help but snort at Bill’s somewhat offended look. Joel reaches over Ellie, showing her what a seatbelt is before putting the car in gear and practically tearing out of there before Bill can rescind the offer of his car. Ellie, of course, can’t sit still and pulls open the glove box finding an old cassette in there. Bill really was against everything new, Jesus, a cassette tape? Old man, “Would ya leave it?” Ellie ignores him, “Put it back…Ellie.” 

The soft voice of Linda Ronstadt fills the car and Ellie just sighs going to pull the cassette back out when Joel speaks up again, “Oh, no, wait. No, no leave it. Oh, this is good. This is Linda Ronstadt.” He tells her and she just stares at him, confusion on her face as she of course has no idea who that is. Hell, I don’t either. 

Ellie rolls her eyes but there’s amusement written all over her face as she goes to look out the window as the houses melt away into fields and trees before she makes a small sound, “Eh, better than nothing.” It has Joel actually cracking a smile and I can’t help but do the same before he catches my gaze in the rearview mirror and I’m snapping my head away. I’m still mad at him and he needs to know it because I can’t just let him off the hook that easily. I though we were getting past the ‘leave-you-behind,-it’s-safer-this-way’ but yeah no, wishful thinking on my behalf really. 

*

“Y/N,” I spin around from packing my bag to see Joel standing in the doorway of my room, he’s looking at his hands as he pulls at the rough skin. Oh fuck, this again? I know exactly what the next words out of his mouth are going to be but I entertain him anyway. He steps closer, as if trying to find the right words and his hand cups my cheek. I can’t stop myself from leaning into his touch and relishing in the moment before he shatters it with his next words, “It’d be safer if you stay here.” 

“No,” I snap back almost immediately, “You are not going to try and sneak off, leaving me here again!” 

“Y/N, it’s safer and I can get Ellie there qui-“ 

“NO!” It comes out harsher than I intend, “She’s my sister and I’m not letting you take her alone!” 

He’s sighing, scrubbing the hand that was just holding me over his face tiredly, that stupid sharp tone entering his voice and my blood boils in my veins, “I don’t want you getting hurt. You are staying here.”

My next action shocks me more that it seems to shock Joel. As soon as he tries to order me about that was it, reaching forwards I slap him as hard as I can. Immediately regretting what I’ve done I stumble back, watching the way his hand flies up to touch the forming red mark and my heart sinks at the pain in his eyes. I never want to hurt him or have him looking at me the way he does, my legs giving out beneath me. Even upset with me Joel practically rushes over but I’m shoving him away, trying to hide my face as tears stream down them. 

“I-I’ll wait for you by the car,” There’s a strain to his voice before he’s gone with the quiet click of the door. 

*

“I’m sorry,” It’s spoken so quietly I almost don’t hear it, “I’m sorry I tried to leave you behind again.” 

“You should be,” I snap back. He physically flinches and his honey eyes are full of guilt when he meets my forced glare in the rear view mirror. Ellie’s asleep in the front seat so if we’re about to argue then it’s gotta be a quiet one as I’m not dealing with a grumpy and sleep deprived Ellie as well as a pissed off Joel. 

“I…” He seems to stumble over his words, his grip on the steering wheel tightening so much his knuckles go white, “I don’t want you getting hurt is all.” 

“She’s my sister,” I remind him, “And I can take care of myself. I spent eight years on my own before meeting you and Tess.” 

“I know you can take care of yourself,” He retorts, his gaze hardening and he lets out a sharp sigh, “I can’t lose you Y/N, not-“ 

A bullet suddenly pings off the bonnet of the car, jolting Ellie awake and Joel goes on high alert. We’re coming into Kansas City and there’s a man in front of our car, hand on his bleeding side and he’s crying out for help. Ellie asks Joel if we're going to help him while the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. Joel lets out a sharp “No.” Then floors the gas straight towards the person. He yells and jumps aside with a few choice swearwords. The QZ flies by and it’s empty. Shit. 

“Joel!” Ellie shrieks, looking up for a brick to smash the windshield, Joel swerving as the tires pop from running over the shattered glass or police spikes. My heart rushes in my ears as another guy appears, gun aimed at Ellie’s side of the car and I’m moving forwards to shield her in any way I can despite being in the backseat. Joel sees what I’m doing as is apparently having none of it as he’s suddenly swinging the car to the left so the gun is his side and my head smacks the window, pain ringing through me but I have to ignore it when the tires slide and skid and we’re crashing straight through a laundromat, the impact jolting me painfully and my stitches pinching. 

“Is everyone okay?” Joel asks, pulling his hand away from Ellie where he’d thrown it in front of her to keep her in her seat. I’d have felt pride or something if I weren’t so panicked right now, the bullets still pinging off the car, “Out! Fast!” He’s nudging Ellie and I get the hint, grabbing my pack and the guns before tumbling out the right side of the car, handing Joel his gun when he reaches for it. We’re stuck out in the open with only Bill’s Chevy protecting us from the hunters, fucking hunters. I take a risk and peak around the edge of the truck and firing a well aimed shot at one of them, hearing the thud and the gurgle before the hunters throw slurs our way and Joel is yanking me back down with fury in those honey eyes of his, “When I say go, you two are to craw to that wall and go through it, okay?” 

I open my mouth to protest but a every well aimed shot skims over my head and Joel is yelling “GO!” At us. I follow Ellie on my belly, crawling to the hole in the wall and making sure she gets through first before I have to pull myself up and through it, trying to ignoring the yelling and gunfire behind me as we left Joel out there alone. 

“Joel?” Ellie looks up at me as I try to steady my breathing, having to be a steady constant for her when all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry as I wait for Joel to reappear, “It’s too quiet!” Ellie’s hissing and before I can stop her she’s climbing back through the gap, ignoring my panicked calls for her to stop. She’s going to be the fucking death of me I swear. 

A gunshot rings out and I’m practically throwing my aching body back through the gap to see Ellie holding out one of Bill’s guns, a broken look on her face as Joel is on all fours gasping for air and there’s a kid no older than me on the floor with blood pooling beside his head. For a second all I see is Elliott laying there. My breath gets stuck in my throat as I’m stumbling back, tears blurring my vision and I barely see the way Joel snatches the gun from Ellie with a few harsh words then he’s approaching me where I’ve sunk to the floor with my knees to my chest. His calloused hands grip my face and force me to look at him so I can see his face when he guides my shaking hands to his chest where his heart is beating just as rapidly under his layers. It’s all I focus on until I can breath again and Joel’s pulling me to my feet. He’s coaxing me back through the gap after Ellie, “Can you two let me in?” 

“Y-yeah,” My voice is shaky but I move to the door, using the butt of my own gun to smash the lock off the door, swinging it open so he can slip inside with us. He’s silently pulling the table in front of the door, anger and guilt radiating off of him so I ask quietly, “What now?” 

He reaches for me and I flinch so he just lets out a defeated sigh, “We go up so I can see the layout of the city and find us a way out of here.” 

“Sounds good.” Ellie nods. She’s got her brave face on as she passes me to follow Joel through he door marked ‘stairs’ except I can see the slight quiver to her bottom lip and the hidden shock behind her eyes. She just juts out her chin and disappears behind the door so I do the only thing I can, follow them. Joel’s flashlight is almost blinding when he flicks it, all of us staring up at the endless amount of stairs ahead of us. 

*  

The moonlight illuminates the rooftop we have to cross to get into the office building. Joel’s breathing hard when we finally find an office that’s safe enough to camp in for the night and Ellie just spins around with a grin on her face and her voice singsongy as she chortles, “Come on, lazy ass!” 

“Lazy ass? I’m forty-six, you little shit,” He grumbles as he grabs the fire extinguisher to smash the glass of the office door and reach in to unlock it. He holds the door open for us and we slip inside throwing our packs down while Joel just glares at her but there’s no menace behind his glare. He’s kicking the glass about, spreading it across the floor so if someone breaks in we’ll hear the crunch of the glass. I help, grabbing the cushions from the leather sofas and laying them on the floor in two rows. Ellie gets two cushions as she’s small and Joel gets the other makeshift bed gets three while I lay my jacket on the floor to sleep on it and use my bag as a pillow. Joel’s the oldest, he deserves the luxury of the cushions or his bones might just pop out of place. The thought has me snorting, causing the pair of them to turn to me in question and I’m just shaking my head and laying back against my pack. 

“No,” Joel’s got that sharp tone again and I just ignore him, rolling on my side to face Ellie who is already laid down and trying to sleep, “Y/N. No.” Again, I just ignore him, hoping he’ll just leave it be and take the bed. It goes silent and I’ve won this one, a first. Of course, I’m wrong. Those strong arms sweep me up off the floor, ignoring my shriek of surprise, as he lays me on the cushion bed, keeping me in place despite my struggles as he shrugs off his own jacket. He’s squashing himself behind me, wrapping me up in his arms as he scolds me, voice in almost a low growl, “You don’t do anything like that ever again, you understand me?” 

He’s obviously referring to earlier when I killed the hunter but also now, trying to sleep on the floor with a still healing injury. It’s like he can read my thoughts because his fingers are ghosting over the cut, leaving goosebumps in his trail and I’m shivering, “i”m sorry.” 

“I know.” 

*

I’m sitting up, tearing myself from Joel’s arms when the glass crunches. Two guys are there, one my age and the other Ellie’s and they’ve got guns pointed at us. I want to move, to put myself between the older and Ellie but he shakes his head in warning, pressing the barrel to her skull and forcing her to kneel. The younger kid has his gun pointed at me and Joel, a finger to his lips and orange paint around his eyes in the shape of a superhero mask. 

“Joel,” I smack Joel’s arm lightly but he’s sleeping on his left side so his right ear is up and he’s go shit hearing in that ear so I call his name a little louder with a harder smack. He jolts awake, hands finding my waist and trying to yank me back so he’s between me and the gun, a look on his face one that has had many running away with their tails tucked between their legs. The older man, gun still to Ellie’s head, feels the affects of the glare as the gun in his hand shakes ever so slightly. 

“Now we don’t want to hurt you,” He speaks in as much of an authoritative voice as he can muster, obviously never having to do this before. Joel’s hands tighten on my waist, nails digging in almost painfully but it’s grounding as I’m one wrong word away from jumping between this man and Ellie, “You don’t have to worry about what to say. We don’t want to hurt you. We wanna help you.” 

“Okay,” Joel’s voice is low and dangerous and it has the man, shifting on the spot, eyes flickering between the three of us and the gun in his hand shaking a little more obvious while the kid stands steady, eyes darting between what I’m guessing is his older brother and us. 

“I don’t know what the next step is with something like this but if I lower my gun we didn’t hurt you so you don’t hurt us. Right?” Joel just stares daggers at him and I just wanna yell at him for being a stubborn dick, he might be about to get my sister killed as they guy seems like he could be a little trigger happy from fear. 

“That’s right.” Joel nods once and I let my forehead fall to the back of his shoulder in defeat because he’s going to get us all killed. 

“That’s a weird fucking tone, man.”

“That’s just the way he sounds. He has an asshole voice,” Ellie sighs, hands still up and a pointed look thrown at Joel, “Joel, tell him he’s okay.” 

“That’s right.” Joel keeps the same tone. Yep. We are going to die, “Everything is great.” 

“Dude!” Ellie groans, just as exasperated as I am, knowing our lives are on the line as our gun have been kicked out of our reach and if we even try make a move for them it’s Ellie who’s gonna die first. 

“Okay. Listen. I’m gonna trust you.” The guy says, eyes wide and he waves his hand to get the kid’s attention, signing something to him before the safety is clicked back on both their guns, “But if either of you guys try anything…”

The kids steps back, away from me and Joel, my companion letting go of my hips as he sits up. Joel still keeps himself between me and the guys while Ellie scrambles over to me, hugging me tightly and I hug her back, checking her for any injuries they may have caused before I woke up but there’s not a scratch on her. They’re putting their guns in their pockets and it clicks - they’re not loaded. We had the upper hand the whole time but they needed to seem big and scary to keep their territory. Smart kids. 

“What’s your name?” Ellie asks them as they sit opposite us, on the cushions Ellie was using as a bed, flicking on the light so we can actually see properly. 

“I’m Henry and this is my brother Sam.” Henry, the older, tells us, “I’m the most wanted man in Kansas City. Although right now… my guess is you’re running a close second.”

“Cool!” 

“Ellie! Not cool!”

“Riiiigggghhhhhttttt.... Not cool…”

-------------

Tag List Form

Chapter One ⇢ Save Who You Can Save

Chapter Two ⇢ Stitches

Chapter Three ⇢ 

Chapter Four  ⇢ Escape Kansas City

Chapter Five ⇢ Finding Tommy

Chapter Six ⇢ Revealing Secrets

Chapter Seven ⇢ Crossed Paths

Chapter Eight ⇢ Finding Family

Chapter Nine ⇢ Two Become One

Chapter Ten ⇢ Coming Soon

---------------

TAGS:

@words-are-cheap @clover723 @a-psych0s-w0rld @sexyvixen7 @iraot @gemimawrites​ @pedropascalsrealhusband​ @twopercentmilk​ @amythenortherner​ @sxnshinebxcky @nelsoomon @urnewghostfriend​ @grooveandshit​ @reyas-world @canpillowscry @androgynoysgaz @outl4wage @ginger-swag-rapunzel​ @quinnverses​ @librafilms​ @leonkennedyslefthand

[twopoppies]

Hi Gina... I need to rant 😠 lmfao

As a life-long Chiefs fan and KC native all I can say is this T*ylor shit is fucking annoying. I know you talk to a LOT of people in the fandom, so you may not remember, but I'm a fellow Sw*ftie hater (maybe that's too harsh but idgaf) and I didn't think it was possible to get more annoyed with this woman than I've been since I stopped being a fan in 2018. Boy, was I WRONG. I'm a die-hard Chiefs fan. I loved my team even when we sucked and couldn't make it to the playoffs (before Patrick Mahomes), so to see EVERYONE make the game on Sunday about her is beyond frustrating. People (Sw*fties) are seriously saying she's the only reason we won. Like we haven't won multiple AFC championships and two Super Bowls in the past three years. Maybe I'm just taking it too seriously, but when our boys played a kick ass game on Sunday after such a shitty season opener (that we lost), it was so nice to see that we're getting our mojo back but I literally can't look at any post, tweet, article, tv segment, etc that doesn't make the game about her.

God, please don't let her be around for the rest of the season 🙏🏻

Also, I'm not saying they're not hooking up, but this is 100% for PR. I've personally never seen them pan to a celebrity so many times during the game. I've never seen "candid" photos of Travis Kelce, Patrick Mahomes, or any of the other popular Chiefs' players leaving Arrowhead Stadium after a game like we just got with Travis & T*ylor, or "candid" photos & videos of any of the popular players driving through the city, which is so sus. And then what really sealed the deal for me was that T*ylor announced earlier today that her concert film will be shown internationally. She was also named as an entertainer of the year for entertainment weekly and is on the cover. Not to mention, she has a new re-recording coming out in a month and continues to announce new versions of the 1989 re-recording. "Someone" must not be happy enough that she's already broke records with the Speak Now sales, is selling the most number of albums overall, but she must be aiming to break those Speak Now records with the 1989 re-recording sales bc she's releasing new versions quite often. I mean, how greedy can one person be. Like you haven't sold enough albums? You don't have enough publicity? You don't have enough money? It's just gross to me.

Also, I personally just found her reactions over the top for someone who isn't even a fan, especially whatever that head shake thing is at the end. But maybe that's just because I find everything she does annoying and cringe.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxmAHqjrACL/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Plus, the stats around Travis and the Chiefs have skyrocketed. So they're absolutely getting a lot out of this as well as the NFL like someone mentioned earlier.

I'll attach an article but here are some numbers:

Travis' jersey sales went up almost 400%

Stubhub ticket sales for Chiefs' home games increased threefold in just 24 hrs

Travis gained 325k new ig followers - more than he gained after winning the last Super Bowl

Sunday's Chiefs' game was the most watched NFL game on any network last week

It was also the most watched game among girls and women 12 to 49 yrs old

https://www.axios.com/2023/09/26/taylor-swift-travis-kelce-merch-sales-up-chiefs-kansas-city

And yes, I know I know a lot about her for someone who doesn't like her. But she's inescapable even when I have muted everything related to her... And now she's taking over my everything related to my favorite football team and my city 🤢 Where's Pete Davidson when you need him? 😂

Ok, sorry for that rant. I know I probably sound ridiculous, but I prefer my life T*ylor free just like I prefer my life Ol*via free, and I thought you might understand 😂 Anyways, feel free not to post if you don't want to discuss her anymore.

I hope you're having a good night, Gina. Lots of love.

She really is a horrendous actress. Everything she did at that game was so embarrassingly fake. But clearly people want to believe it because it’s everywhere.

That’s bananas how much his stats already went up and just shows why it’s worth it to do this kind of nonsense, even to someone who’s already really famous.

I’m not interested in football at all, but I’m so sorry she’s contaminating your safe space. 😩

[final-girl96]

Firefly Chapter Thirty-Nine

Kansas City

We've been traveling for a few days now. Right now we're in Kansas City. We were able to find a car in a parking garage in Ohio but that didn't last long when we ran out of gas only an hour into the drive. From there it was a lot of walking for hours and hours, stopping for only a few minutes to rest until night fell. We would find a place to sleep and then head out early in the morning.

The first thing I noticed when we got into the city was that it was empty and didn't look like most cities. There were no signs of infected anywhere, let alone people. "This is fucking strange," I said, looking around. The city simply looked like it was evaluated and abandoned. It was the complete opposite of Boston. "Where I'd everyone?" Ellie asked. Joel was being extremely cautious with every step we took. He was ahead of Ellie and I, gun drawn. "They're here somewhere. It's way too quiet."

It was quiet, and it made everything that much more unsettling. Joel put his arm out, signaling for us to stop and stay behind him. A man came stumbling out into the street, holding his stomach. "Help. Please, help me!" He called out to us. I grabbed Ellie's hand and moved her closer and slightly behind me. Joel walked backward towards us, so he was directly in front of us. "Please. I need help!" The man called out again. "Go. Now. Run."

I didn't need Joel to tell me twice. I gripped Ellie's hand tighter and pulled her with me as I ran back the way we came. Joel was on our heels directing us towards a building. As we got closer to the building, an old corner store, someone started to shoot at us. We ran inside and ducked behind the counter. "How did you know that guy was faking it?" Ellie whispered.

"It's not the first time we've come by people that do that. Hell, we've done it," I whispered back. I looked around and nudged Joel. "She could fit through there. She'll be safe while we take care of these assholes," I said. He nodded and I pulled Ellie over to the hole in the wall. It was big enough for her to fit through. "Okay, I need you to go through to the other side and hide. Don't come out no matter what you hear! Do you understand?" She looked from me to Joel and back. “I can help. If you give me a gun, I can help you.” I shook my head, “not this time. Just please hide and I will come get you when everything is over.” She looked like she wanted to argue, but she held back and climbed through the hole. Once I was sure she would be hidden and safe I walked back to Joel.

“So what’s the plan? We don’t know how many there are.” He didn’t answer at first, but I know he was just trying to come up with a plan. He shook his head and let out a sigh.”We take care of whoever comes after us then we run and find a place to hold up until we can figure out how to get out of here.” I nodded my head, taking a deep breath, “okay, sounds as good as any plan. This whole place is suspicious.” We ducked down when we heard voices getting closer to where we were hiding. I pulled my gun out and cocked it, making sure the safety was off. “I saw them coming in here.” gravel crunched under heavy footsteps, shoes scraped against the floor, kicking debris out of the way. “You check around outside, I’ll look in here.” One pair of footsteps faded as they made their way out of the store, glass crunched under the weight of the person. I peaked around the counter to see a thin man with his back turned towards us. It took one look back over my shoulder for Joel to move around me and creep up behind the guy.

He grabbed the guy, swinging an arm over his head, putting him in a headlock, and cutting off his airway. Joel tightened his arm more, slowly sinking to the ground as the man went limp in his arms. “Over here!” I jumped up from behind the counter and shot the second guy before he could pull his trigger. Two more men came around the corner, I took one and Joel took the other. The guy I was fighting pinned me under his weight after he knocked me to the ground and kicked my gun out of my reach. Joel was too busy taking care of the other one. The asshole who was on top of me wrapped his hands around my throat. My hands flew up to wrap around his wrist, digging my nails into his skin and trying to pull his hands away. He pressed harder, cutting my air off. My vision started to fade at the corners threatening to turn everything black when a gunshot rang out, then another. A few minutes later the weight of his body was being lifted off of me.

I was sucking in air and coughing. I looked up to see Joel holding out his hand. I took it and let him pull me up. When I looked around I saw Ellie standing a few feet away, looking at us with wide eyes, a gun was in her hand. Joel walked over to her and gently took the gun out of her hand. "I'm sorry," she whispered and looked up at me. I shook my head and pulled her into me. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I know you said to stay hidden no matter what, but he was going to kill you and Joel couldn't get to you." She wrapped her arms around my waist. "It's okay. You're not in trouble. But we need to go, okay. I need you to climb back through that hole and look and see if there is a way for me and Joel to get in. Can you do that?" She nodded her head and pulled away from me.

Ellie went back through the hole and looked around. "There's a door on the other side of the room, but it's blocked," she said. "Okay, we're going to go around and meet you over there. Start trying to move whatever you can." Joel and I carefully made our way around to the other side until we found the door and then we helped Ellie by pushing on the door to move whatever was in front of it.

Once it was open she laced her hand with mine and we made a run for it, going from building to building until we were far enough away from the store. We climbed several flights of stairs, Ellie made it to the top before us. "Come on, it's not that hard!" Joel and I stopped and looked at her. "I'm fifty-six you little shit!" He said. I laughed and pushed past him. "Yeah, Ellie, he's old and has bad knees. Give him a break," I said. Joel glared at me and I laughed harder.

Once we were as high as we could go we found a room and set it up for us to sleep. Joel found some glass and spread it on the floor in the hall and in the room by the door. He said it would wake him up if someone tried to sneak up on us. We took cushions from chairs and couches and put them down on the floor to sleep on. Then we laid down.

We laid there in silence until Ellie decided it was a good time to tell a joke. "Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?" I sighed and tried to ignore her. "What?" Joel asked, confused. "Yeah, it runs in your genes." I didn't try to hold back a laugh. "That's so stupid!" Joel said, but he wasn't able to hold back a small laugh. "You laughed!" Ellie said. "I did not. Go to sleep!" It went like that for about ten minutes, the three of us laughing until we actually tried to get some sleep.

[moon-ursidae]

THE LAST OF US HBO (and game) SPOILERS

ya’ll i’m so fucking excited for this episode the pittsburgh section is one of my favorites so i’m fuckin stoked

also i was with a friend today and they’ve never played the game before. they know nothing about what’s to come. they said “surely no one else will die right? i feel like everyone that could have died has died right?” and i went “i’m not saying anything” HAHAHAHA I FEEL SO BAD. ANYWAY

HERE WE GO!!!

i’m so fucking excited for roadtrip scenes

and then the fucking truck crash

i’m so excited holy shit

the theme will never get old

omg ellie plz be careful

her practicing a smug face lmao

the innocence of this UGH

THIS SHOT IS GORGEOUS

i love them so much

JOKE BOOK

JOKE BOOK

JOKE BOOK

JOKE BOOK

OH MY GOD

HER FACE I LOVE HER

THE LAST OF US (YOU AND ME) UGGGH

“he will be back. there’s nothing you can do to stop him”

OH MY GOD

FROM THE GAME

FROM THE GAME

HANK WILLIAMS

KSBSLSBSKSBSKBSISBS

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

THE PORN MAG

IT’S LITERALLY THE SAME ONE FROM THE GAME

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD

arby’s :(

this looks eerily familiar to me

like i swear i’ve driven here

him seeing that she’s soaced tf out and deciding to camp🥺

jesus she’s goin to town

i would too tbh

THE ONE THAT SMELLS GOOD IS FRANK’S UUUUUGH😭😭

“because he was outstandin’ in his field” AND HIS LITTLE SMILE AS HE TURNS OVER FUCK OFF

I LOVE THEM

“no one’s gonna find us” HE’S SUCH A DAD

I KNOW THIS MUSIC WAIT

i knew he was gonna be ALERT

that’s so sweet

COFFEE???

PLEASE TELL ME IT IS

YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAA

JOEL GETS HIS COFFEE

THE WAT HE SIPS IT AFTER SHE SAYS IT SMELLS BAD HAHAHAHA

OMG WAIT TOMMY BACKSTORY

“where we met tess”😭😭😭

he’s such an older sibling

“now i gotta go get him”

“you keep goin for family”

“i’m not family.” “no. you’re cargo. and i made a promis to tess. and she was like family” 😭

joel you’re gonna change your mind about ellie bein cargo

“i’m not even tired.” THE SAME FUCKING CUT TO HER ZONKED IN THE FRONT SEAT HAHAHAHAHAHA

WE’RE HHHHHEEEEEERRRRRREEEEEEE

i’m so excited

THE SHOT FROM THE TRAILER AHHHHHH

he knows something’s up

that semi is a way to keep people in and make them go around and funnel them in one direction. then ambush them. and joel KNOWS somethin’s up

oh wait this is kansas city now??

fo sho fo sho i’m not mad

“screw it.” IT’S COMINNGGGGGG

uh oh. burned bodies.

HERE WE GO

HERE WE GO

THE WAY SHE IS SO CLOSE TO HIM

“and they’re not gonna hit you. look at me! they’re not gonna hit you. stay down. you stay low. you stay quiet.”

the way that he’s reassuring her but also himself rn i cannot deal w this

the parallels to sarah UUUUUGH i’m gonna fucking scream and cry and scratch at the walls goddamnit

OKAY JOEL

OMG IS THIS WHERE SHE KILLS THE GUY

HIS FACE HE’S SO SCARED

OH NO. OHHHH NO. SHE’S GONNA FEEL SO BAD.

HE JUST TOLD HER HIS NAME AND ABOUT HOW HE HAS FAMILY

oh joel’s pissed.

i like that they stick with how joel doesn’t try to comfort her immediately

“get back behind the wall.” OH MY GOD

THE WAY HE YELLS FOR HIS MOM AND PLEADS FOR HIS LIFE

SHE’S CRYINNNNG😭😭😭😭

the juxtaposition of her being upset and joel just moving onto the next task at hand

and how she was so innocent in the bathroom of the gas station and she was smirking and playing with the gun

UUUUUUUGH😭😭😭😭

MASH SQUARE TO GET THROUGH THE DOOR JOEL

LMAO

she’s trying to brush it off UGH

wait is he just not going back for his bag

JOEL. GET YOUR SHIT BRO.

MELANIE LYNSKEY!!!!

the way she seems so sweet but i know she’s gonna be ruthless

“you know where henry is” AYO?????

MY BOY????

okay slay eat him up

“but henry did” OHHHHHHHHH TEA

JEFFREY PIERCCCEEEEE

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IT’S JEFFREY!!!!

i love how troy and jeffrey are playing antagonists

did he really just leave his shit in the truck???

he had time to grab it?

“are you okay?” PLEASE

“i’m alright. are you alright?” THE WAY HIS VOICE SHAKES PLEASE😭

“yea.” ellie don’t lie

“i didn’t hear that guy comin and- you shouldn’t have had to have- yknow.” “you’re glad i did though, right?” “you’re just a kid. you shouldn’t know what it means to-“

i love that instead of joel getting pissed and saying “i’m lucky i didn’t get my head blown off by a goddamn kid” he’s being sympathetic. and that he’s actually really trying to comfort her afterward which we didn’t see too much of in the game

HE’S TRYING SO HARD😭😭😭😭

“i mean it was my fault. you shouldn’t have had to. and i’m sorry.” 😭😭😭😭

THE MUSIC FROM THE TITLE SCREEN OF THE GAME AHH AHH

i’m crying

i’m gone

the way he looks down after seeing her wiper her eyes😭😭

i know he’s beating himself up to hell and back rn

pedro has been through this training so many times i’m sure lmao especially w narcos

I’M GONNA LOSE MY SHIT

THE WAY SHE’S GIGGLING AND SMILING

this is such a huge moment of trust for him

the way he gruntd when he gets up. i felt that.

knee injuries fuckin suck man

“we’ll get through this.” “i know.” AHHHHHHH

i’m upset that joel didn’t get his fuckin bag dude

THE DRAWINGS ON THE WALL THAT SAM DID FUCK OFF

😭😭😭😭

WAIT IS IT BLOATER TIME?????

BRO

jeffrey pierce slay

BOOSTING WOOOOOO

“straighten up. i got you.” FUCKIN FUCK OFF😭😭😭

THE “i got you” HAS BEGUN AAHHHHH

this is literally the game

WAIT IS THIS THE BLOATER BUILDING

IS THE BASEMENT HAPPENING NOW??

THE LAST OF US (GOODNIGHT) PLAYING FUCK OFF

“how’d you know it was an ambush?” ON THE STAIRS LIKE IN THE FUCKING GAME I’M YELLING

“i’ve been on both sides.” KABDKSHSKDBSKSV

MORE BACKSTORY ABOUT IT WOOOOO

“did you kill innocent people?” THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER SKDHAKDJOWBS

AND DOESN’T ANSWER AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

the way he falls against the wall.

me too bitch.

“get up you lazy ass.” “lazy ass. 56 years old you little shit.” I LOVE THEM

looks damn good for 56👀

him setting up the glass is so smart

I LOVE THAT THEY’RE SHOWING THE BAD EAR NOW BC THEY HAVE TO BE MORE SPREAD OUT

the way he says “what?” like he’s so annoyed lmao

“are you sure you’re gonna hear it?” LMAOOOO

is she gonna go step on it to test him

i’ll laugh my ass off

“hey.” “yeah?” “when we were talkin about hurtin people. what do you mean it wasn’t your first time?” i love that HE is asking questions about her past now.

“i don’t wanna talk about it.” “alright. you don’t have to. i’m just sayin, it isn’t fair. your age. havin to deal with all of this.” AND HE’S TURNED TO WHERE HE’S FACING HER NOW. FUUUUCK OFF😭😭🫶🏻

“so it gets easier when you get older?” “no. not really. but still.”

and then she changes the subject back to him😭😭

“the reason i asked whether you’d hear the glass or not is because i’ve noticed you don’t hear too well from your right side. is it because you were shot there?”

AND THEN HE TURNS BACK OVER UUUGH

THE WAY HE SMILES AND THEN CHUCKLES AT THE JOKE PPLLLEEEAAAASSSSEEEEEEE

HE’S TRYING SO HARD NOT TO LAUGH

“that is so goddamn stupid.” “you laughed motherfucker.” “i didn’t laugh.” “yes you did.” “jesus i’m losin it” “you’re losin it big time” I LOVE THEM

AND THEN HE REALLY LAUGHS I’M GONNA FUCKING SOB RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW

JOEL MILLER SMILING AND LAUGHING IS SUCH A SERATONIN BOOST

THEM LAUGHING AND SAYING GO TO SLEEP DURING THE FADE TO BLACK I’M CRYINNNNG

oh fuck what’s happening

the way his eyes shoot open UUUUGH i love him

HENRY AND SAM AHHHHHHHH AHHHH AHHHH AHHHH AHHHH AHHHH AHHHH AHHHH

TRUE FAITH?????? TRUE FAITH???????

I’M CRYING

NEXT WEEK LOOKS SO GOOD

THE BLOATER

BTS TIME

“you get a sense that they’re a team.” 😭

BELLA!!!!!

“how ugly that violence is” AGHHH

CRAIG TALKING ABOUT THE LAUNDROMAT SEQUENCE AHHHHHH

“i love humanizing villains” WE KNOW NEIL. WE KNOW.

oh my god. that was fun! not as much plot but that’s A-OKAY. a nice break from the third episode hahaha🥲

i’m still lowkey mad joel didn’t get his fucking bag from the truck like he had time but it’s whateva

he’ll get another one later. i was just emotionally attached to that bag bc it was the game accurate one hehehe

ANYWAY

good episode! really loving the series so far!

so excited for next week. i’m taking an asl course right now so i’m fucking stoked to see it next ep!!

now time to rewatch and add the tracks to my soundtrack playlist!!

[infected-immunity]

"Don't open that door." (Joel)

Joel made it pretty fucking difficult to pass the time as they travelled the next leg of their journey. Tess’ death added a visible weight to his shoulders. It was weird how someone could broadcast anger and blame without saying a single fucking word. In the immediate aftermath Ellie held her tongue and curbed her questions, until eventually, the silence seemed to be doing more bad than good.

Your boot’s fucked. 

Do you trust Marlene or are car batteries just super fucking rare? 

Are there infected out in places like this? What do they even eat? Besides people. Can they starve? 

It was hard not to feel a little bitter at the reception to her questions. By the third, Ellie had come to the conclusion that Joel wasn’t that deaf. If he couldn’t hear her, the repeated attempts to drop-kick him into some kind of conversation wouldn’t stir up that dark cloud looming over him. At first it was understandable, then frustrating and then, unsettling. How was she supposed to know if things were okay if Joel was clamming up? 

It was like pulling teeth, but eventually as they approached a settlement of fancy-ass buildings on the outskirts of a city (Kansas, according to the signs), things improved. Maybe it was the knowledge he was about to palm her off to someone else, Ellie thought to herself, unable to swallow the bitterness that came with the idea. That was totally it. 

Marlene hadn’t been wrong. There were cars here. Fedra cars. They didn’t look crusted up and broken like the ones they’d passed a million times on the roads. These looked like they might actually work. 

“Hey Joel, look.” Ellie jabbed an elbow into Joel’s arm, pointing to the biggest of the military-style vehicles. 

“There’s your ride.”

Encouraged by the promise of Fireflies (and food, and people who weren’t sentient dicks), Ellie picked up her pace, running ahead to the cars to inspect them before planting her feet in front of the large stone building and looking up. 

“‘Municipal Courts. Police Headquarters Building'! Cool. Did Marlene tell you it was a police building?”

For a Firefly base, it was a little weird that nobody had been stationed ready to meet them. Or patrolling. Was Marlene just some kind of hard-ass by comparison? Maybe these guys didn’t have sticks up their asses. 

…The front door was ajar. 

It was quiet too. 

A little too quiet. 

Ellie’s playful smirk died on her lips as she stood, peering through the crack of the door and listening. 

There were no bodies inside. No infected visibly stumbling around. No fungus growing on the walls. It just looked like everyone had…left. Frowning, Ellie nudged the door open and strolled into the atrium to look around. 

In the distance came the sound of a voice. Young. Alone. Calling for help. Ellie froze, searching behind her for Joel. 

“Joel!” Ellie tilted her head, flashing a pointed look in his direction, waiting in silence for the next call for help. 

It came again and with it, Ellie darted ahead, following it through to a hallway of cells before finding the correct door. It was shut. Ellie rolled onto the balls of her feet to peer through the hatch. Dwarfed by the empty concrete room was a child, normal in every way until it turned its head. A sharp involuntary gasp escaped Ellie at the fungus that had consumed a good portion of the girl’s face. How could she be at such an advanced stage and talk like that?

"Don't open that door." 

Joel had caught up. Ellie wasn’t sure if she was relieved or afraid. 

“Hey. What happened here?” Ellie asked the fungus on the girl’s face. 

“How long have you been in there?”

[starryevermore]

won’t be the same, dear (2) ✧ ransom drysdale & clark kent

angst city™ library | send in a request (consult request faqs first)

request: Hello! I hope you are having Merry Christmas. I loved "A Blue Christmas" and wondering you would do a part 2 with Ransom's reaction to the reader ditching him at the altar and then plans to get married to his now mistress, having the wedding of the century and sends reader an invitation to the wedding just to spite her, but doesn't work because she is with a new man. And hes not happy with the way Ransom treated his girlfriend.(I was wondering if the new man would be Clark Kent?😘 Lovable Kansas farm boy.) - @aubageddon91​

pairing: ransom drysdale x fem!reader (former); ransom drysdale x kitty (ofc); clark kent x fem!reader

summary: ransom tries to get back at you. little does he know, you’ve already moved on.

word count: 1,375

warnings?: first time writing clark kent so forgive me if it’s not accurate!, also this is an au so clark’s just a normal guy who still lives in smallville lol, ransom is a jackass, pet name (honey bee), not proofread

“A BLUE CHRISTMAS” (PART 1)

Ransom never felt more humiliated before in his life. What gave you the right—no, the audacity—to think that you could leave him, Hugh Ransom Drysdale, at the altar? He had the power, and now the desire, to make your life a living hell. You knew that. And you still chose to cross him? To make a fool of him? In front of all his friends and family? 

God, it made his blood fucking boil. 

He remembered standing there, watching as the groomsmen and the bridesmaids walked down the aisle, parting to their respective sides when they reached the altar. Then, the officiant told everyone to rise for the bride. And the music began to play. And play. And play. Whispers fell over the crowd, everyone wondering where you were. Was there an accident? Something wrong with the dress, or your hair, or your makeup? Were you getting a last minute pep talk? Then Meg stepped into the aisle, her mother grabbing her arm, trying to stop her, but Meg continued on. 

She walked up to the altar, turning to the crowd, and announced, “There will be no wedding. While Y/N was getting ready to marry the complete loser up here, he was in the middle of making plans to run off with his mistress. And, unlike this loser, Y/N has class and she would never stoop so low as to marry a serial cheater.” 

The room filled his gasps. Ransom’s eyes widened. How did you find out? He had wracked his brain, trying to figure it out, when it dawned on him. He’d seen Meg while he was getting ready, telling her to go get his phone. It took her much longer than it should have been to find it and bring it to him. The little bitch snitched on him. 

Oh well. At least now he could go on his honeymoon with Kitty and actually have fun than deal with you.

His family still wouldn’t let him live it down. Especially when he officially started dating Kitty. When he had been dating you, he was sure that they hated you. They nitpicked and complained and did what they did best—made you feel like complete shit. But now that he was with Kitty? It was like you had placed the goddamn stars in the sky. Kitty was constantly compared to you. You were smart, you had a degree, you went to a prestigious university, you were doing something with your life, while Kitty was a gold digger, dropped out of school, only cared about buying and spending and wasting the family money. It was all bullshit! 

When Ransom proposed to Kitty, he swore to himself that he would show them all just how much better Kitty was.

He would throw the biggest, most extravagant wedding the world had ever seen. He would make it a spectacle, show everyone that Kitty was the perfect bride. That she was the only person who was good enough to marry him. And what better way to rub it in everyone’s faces than to invite the very woman who left him at the altar? 

Let you be the one who’s humiliated. Let you see him get married to someone else. Maybe then you’d regret your words, come crawling back, begging him to take you back. And maybe, if you begged sweetly enough, he might just let you be his dirty little mistress. 

Yeah. Yeah, that’s a good plan.

“You’ve got a letter, honey bee!” Clark called out as he walked inside your shared home, sifting through the mail. “Looks important!”

“Who’s it from?” you yelled back from your spot on the couch, where you were curled up with your laptop, working on your novel. 

After you had left Ransom at the altar, you took everything you had and moved back to your hometown, Smallville. You weren’t quite sure what you were going to do, but since you were a novelist, you didn’t really have to be nailed down to one place to work. So, you found yourself an apartment and began to carve out a quiet life for yourself. 

You never expected to fall in love again. Or, at least, not as quickly as you did. But, when you were grocery shopping, you ran into someone you thought you wouldn’t see in a million years. 

Clark Kent had been your high school sweetheart. Once upon a time, you swore you would marry him. You dated all throughout high school, from freshman year all the way up to senior year. Things ended amicably when you went your separate ways for college. You remembered telling him that, if it was meant to be, you would find your way back to each other. And, as he grabbed a jar of sauce that you struggled to reach, you wondered if this was the sign that you were meant to be. 

He, too, had left Smallville for a little while. He’d actually gotten a job in Metropolis as a reporter for The Daily Planet. But the city life wasn’t for him, he confessed. He came back home, started working on the family farm again, and had really blossomed in the town. The only thing he missed, he told you, was, well, you. 

The two of you started off as friends, hesitant to jump straight back into things, especially after your failed engagement. But, the more time you spent together, the more you both realized that you didn’t want to spend time apart. He asked you out, taking you to a quaint restaurant, wooing you with chocolates and flowers, bringing you home to share a dessert recipe he'd been working to perfect. By the end of the night, you both knew that you were made for each other. It wasn’t long until you were officially dating, and it wasn’t long before he asked you to move in with him. 

You wouldn’t trade any of it at all, because Clark made you feel happy in a way you hadn’t felt in a very long time. 

“Uh, let’s see...It says Kitty Daniels and...Hugh Drysdale?” Clark said, sitting beside you. 

You set your laptop to the side, frowning. “Let me see that.” He handed you the envelope and you felt your blood boil at the thick gold paper. It wasn’t...He couldn’t be... You ripped it open, pulling out the paper, and you wished you had just chucked it into the fireplace instead. “That bastard.”

“What is it, honey bee?” Clark asked, placing his hand on your thigh. 

“You remember my former fiancé?” you asked. 

“The one who cheated on you? And you found out just before the wedding?”

“He’s getting married. To his mistress. And they invited me.”

Clark’s jaw clenched, taking the invitation from your trembling hands. As he read it, confirming that you had, in fact, been invited to the wedding, he threw the paper to the side before reaching up to cup your face in his large hands. “He’s an idiot.”

“I know.”

“Only an idiot would cheat on you. And he knows that. He’s just trying to get back at you, as if that would make up for his own failings.”

You nodded, leaning into his touch. “I’m fine. It just...It irritated me, for a moment.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, honey bee,” Clark said. “For better or for worse, he was a part of your life for a long time. Seeing something like that would upset me too, if I was in the same boat as you.”

You smiled softly, leaning forward to give him a kiss. “How did I get so lucky to have such an amazing man to call mine?”

“You won the lottery,” he teased. “I ask myself the same thing every day. I still can hardly believe that we did find our way back to each other.”

“It really was meant to be, wasn’t it?”

And as Clark thought about the velvet box he had hidden in his nightstand, the one that he was going to bring out on Christmas morning after all the presents had been opened so that he could finally ask you the most important question he could ever ask, he said, “It really was, honey bee.”

[justagalwhowrites]

Lavender - Ch. 33

You face a fight with the resistance in Kansas City. A continuation of Lavender Ch. 1-32 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Canon typical violence, child death, suicide. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ only

Length: 3.5k

“We have to go,” Henry sounded panicked. You held Ellie close to your side. 

Joel’s scream had sent a chill down your spine, the thrill of fear gnawing at your stomach. 

You were about to agree when you heard it, the rumble of a truck. You felt the blood leave your face. 

“Where’s that coming from?” Ellie looked up at you, her eyes wide. You stayed crouched low and ran to another car, peering over the hood just in time to see the lights of the oncoming truck slamming into a car that was sitting broadside across the road. 

“Shit,” you swore, moving quickly back to the car where everyone was hidden. “We have to move, they’re going to crush us!” 

You grabbed Ellie and stayed low, trying to get out of the path of the caravan. A gunshot rang out - from where Joel had gone, you thought - and you flinched in spite of yourself. The four of you scrambled to shelter behind another car and you were pretty sure they hadn’t seen you. 

The crack of another gunshot made your stomach twist. There was a crash and you flinched, an explosion that made you flinch again. 

“Stay low,” you said, voice shaky. There was another gunshot and the trucks all stopped. “Stay low, stay quiet…” 

“Up there!” 

It was a woman’s voice. Kathleen, you were willing to guess. 

“Go, where Anthony was!” 

“Fuck,” Henry looked at you, his chest heaving, eyes wide. 

“We’re going to get out of this,” you said, more confidently than you felt. He looked uncertain. “We are.” 

Henry pulled Sam against his side and you held onto Ellie. There was another gunshot, from the same place. A sign that Joel was still alive. You closed your eyes and took a shaky breath. 

“We’ve got you pinned down, Henry!” The woman yelled. “Why don’t you just come out here? Save us all the trouble, get this over with?” 

She was silent for a moment. 

“No?” She yelled. “Alright…” 

You peered around the car, watching as her militia started flitting from car to car. You weren’t going to have much time. 

“Let the kids go!” Henry yelled. You flinched. 

“Can’t do that,” she yelled back. “The girl’s with the people who killed Bryan. Sam’s with you…” 

“You don’t understand!” He yelled back. He looked like he was about to cry. Your fingers curled into Ellie’s tied back hair, holding her head against you. 

“Oh I understand, Henry,” she said. “But did you ever stop to think about anyone but yourself? But him? That maybe he was supposed to die?” 

“He’s a kid!” 

“Kids die, Henry,” she said simply. “They die all the time. Do you think you just get to destroy the world for everyone else because of them?” 

“Ellie,” you whispered, releasing her head. She looked up at you, frowning. “Stick with Henry and Sam. Joel will find you. If… if he doesn’t, head west. To Wyoming. Find Tommy Miller, OK? He’ll get you where you need to go.” 

“No,” she shook her head. “No, Doc…” 

You ignored her, looking to Henry. 

“Find Joel,” you said. “If you can’t, look out for her. I’m going to buy you time, fucking take it.” 

Her fingers clung to your jacket but you broke away from her, staying low, moving from car to car until you were just a few away from the woman. 

“It’s over, Henry!” 

You took a deep breath and stood, hands up. 

“I understand you’re hurting,” you said. You flinched, feeling their eyes all travel to you, waiting for the gunshot. It didn’t come. 

It took you a moment to find the woman who had been talking but you did. She had a hand up, stalling her gunmen. You’d take that. 

“You’ve been wronged,” you stepped forward again. “I understand that…” 

“I don’t think you do,” she said, stepping closer to you. One of her men moved with her, in her shadow. “I don’t think you understand what Henry took from me, from us. He took hope. The person with a vision for something better after living in hell with FEDRA. Henry made sure he was destroyed before he had a chance to see that vision come true. He took that from him, he took that from me, he took that from all of us. And your friend? That man? He took a boy from his family….”  

“I know,” you said, your hands still up. “And I understand why you’re hurting, why you’re angry. Why you’re doing what you’re doing but… would someone who wanted better than FEDRA want what you’re doing right now?” 

Before she had a chance to argue, you kept going. 

“Take me instead,” your eyes were wide, earnest. “I’ll come and work for you, I’m a doctor, you’re going to need doctors, right? If you want Kansas City to be better with you than it was with FEDRA you need doctors. I can help you, you can do whatever you want with me and I’ll still help your people. You hate FEDRA? Fine, I used to work for them, back in Boston, take it out on me. Hate the man who killed your friend? I’m with him, that will hurt him. Want Henry to feel some of how you’re feeling? Don’t kill him. That’s too merciful, just… Keep me, OK? I can help you, I’ll do whatever you ask no matter what you do, just let them go, OK?” 

“You think one person, one life can make up for all of that?” She asked, shaking her head. 

“No,” you replied, hoping to whatever god there was that Ellie, Henry and Sam were on the move. “But I think you want to lead people and lead people well, I think you want more than revenge. Don’t you?” 

She pointed her pistol at your chest. 

“You have no idea what I want,” she all but snarled it. “No idea what the people here want or need or deserve…” 

There was a metallic, wrenching sound from behind her and you couldn’t help but look to find the source of it. A truck next to the burning building shifted, rocking forward, the earth swallowing it. You frowned and Kathleen turned to watch the truck disappear. She stepped back which, when your mind bothered to process any of it, seemed smart. But you couldn’t make yourself move. 

Not until the inhuman shrieking began. 

“Fuck!” 

***

If you all made it out of here alive, Joel wasn’t sure if he was going to kiss you or kill you. 

He’d done everything he possibly could to give you cover. Not that there was much of anywhere to go but he’d hoped you’d figure something out, something besides staying in danger when the trucks came to a stop. But you stayed where you were. 

“Fuck,” he muttered, ducking back from the window, trying to keep from being a target himself while he could manage it. He couldn’t cover you if he was dead… 

And then he heard your voice, loud and clear and confident, offering yourself up like a sacrifice upon the altar built by FEDRA’s cruelty and the suffering wrought by the cordyceps. As if that were your place. He got ready to shoot your way out of there when it happened. 

The infected poured out of the hole in the earth, like the place where FEDRA had driven them was suddenly emptying them back onto the surface, every one of them hungry and reaching for retribution. 

The only blessing was that, for a moment, the resistance’s attention wasn’t focused on you. You froze for a moment before you walked backwards a few steps and then turned and ran, trying to get back to the car where Ellie, Henry and Sam were hidden. He did his best to give you cover, taking down the infected as they broke through the line, until you reached the car. 

“Move,” he muttered to himself, watching your hiding place. “Come on Baby, fucking move…” 

“Run them down!” The resistance woman yelled. 

“Fuck,” Joel muttered, looking to her and her men for a moment. Most of them were focused on killing infected and the enemy of my enemy… 

He went back to you and thank fuck you listened to him, moving with Ellie and Henry and Sam, just looking to get away from there. You looked toward him at the house and he wasn’t sure if you could see him but he gave you a nod. He saw you, he would find you, he would protect you. He hoped you knew it, even if you couldn’t see it. He hoped you’d sense it somehow, like he’d sense it with you. 

The infected were fast and overwhelming, swarming the resistance troops. Sam and Henry broke off and Joel cursed, sticking with you and the girl. The pair of you cowered behind a car for a moment and Joel saw you point and Ellie nod. He followed where you were looking - an SUV with an open window. 

He could clear your path. He shot an infected that was getting closer to you, one that would be in the way. You looked to him again, for just a second, before running with Ellie. 

Your pistol was drawn this time, at least, and you managed to shoot an infected twice before it dropped. Joel took care of three more. 

At the SUV, you boosted Ellie through the window but the girl had almost gotten stuck. You weren’t going to fit. Fuck, you weren’t going to fit… 

You figured it out quickly, running again. Joel covered you, taking out the infected trailing you as you ran. 

He noticed the resistance woman and her guard then, both of them more interested in finding you and Ellie and Henry and Sam until a giant fucking bloater rushed them. 

To the man’s credit, he threw the woman behind him and stood his ground, shooting the infected with a caliber of bullet that wouldn’t do a goddamn thing. 

For half a second, Joel considered shooting the fucking thing. It was a threat to you and the girl, after all. It was hardly a waste of bullets. But the resistance woman immediately turned and started following you, like she was on a fucking mission, like her men weren’t dying around her. 

He left the bloater to finish off her right hand man. 

Joel looked back to where Ellie was and realized an infected in the body of a child had managed to climb in the car with her. He could only watch as she scrambled for a door and made it out into the chaos of the scene again, slamming the door shut behind her. He got ready to cover her, hoping she’d be smart enough to go for you as you closed in on the tree line, no idea that she’d been in trouble. 

Ellie wasn’t smart. Instead, she ran for Henry and Sam, the pair of them pinned down below a car as a cluster of infected stretched and clawed to reach them. 

“Fuck,” Joel muttered, trying to take out the ones he could. Ellie was small but vicious, jumping on infected and thrusting her knife into its neck until it fell. 

She was able to pull Henry and Sam free just as you seemed to realize what was going on. You went to help but the resistance woman was in your path, her gun pointed at you. You froze, your hands up. He went to shoot her but an infected was coming for her first, the small one that had been in the car with the girl. You spotted it, too, and you pointed, like you were warning the woman who had you at gunpoint. 

The child infected leapt for her and started ripping and tearing. Ellie, Henry and Sam were near you but there weren’t many infected that had reached where you were yet. If he was going to move, now was the time. 

He slung the gun over his shoulder and ran, taking the steps two at a time and tearing through the night to find you. 

There were no infected or soldiers on his path and he reached you quickly, the four of you clambering up the hillside as the screams of infected and militia melted together behind you. 

You looked up at him, your eyes wide. There was blood by your ear and his stomach dropped. 

“Let’s go!” He stepped to the side, Henry in the lead with Sam close behind, followed by Ellie and then you. 

The second you were close enough, he grabbed you, holding you to him for a moment. 

“Never fucking do that again,” he was panting for breath. You hesitantly wrapped your arms around him, holding him for a moment, before he let you go and you followed the others up the hill. 

***

There was a small motel that you reached just as Joel thought you were far enough away from the hellish chaos of the scene to stop and the four of you hurried inside, locking the doors and drawing the curtains, hoping that you wouldn’t need any of the precautions. 

“Holy shit, I can’t believe we’re alive,” Henry laughed as soon as you were safely inside. “Holy fucking shit, I can’t believe we survived that!” 

“Does anyone need medical attention?” You asked, dropping your bag down. “I’m assuming no one got bitten but if anyone’s scraped up otherwise… I got a scratch I know I need to patch up, anyone else?” 

Ellie just shook her head. Henry signed at Sam who signed back. 

“Think we made it out unscathed,” Henry smiled. Sam signed and Henry signed back. The boy smiled broadly, taking Ellie by the hand and leading her to the adjacent bedroom, writing frantically on his small erasable pad as he went. Joel went and set a lantern up in the room and came back out to where you’d settled on the floor, your head leaned back against the wall, Henry sitting at the table. 

“Still can’t believe we lived through that,” he laughed, almost giddy. You smiled a little. 

“Yeah, me either,” you closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. 

“We’re talkin’ about you doin’ shit like handing yourself over to anyone who asks,” Joel grumbled. You opened your eyes long enough to watch him settle at the table beside Henry. You shrugged. 

“Figured I’d find a way out eventually,” you said. “And out of all of us, I made the most sense. They had the most reason to keep me alive, Henry has Sam and you need to get Ellie to Wyoming. I couldn’t get her there on my own. I’m pretty disposable - minus my very convenient skill as a human blood bag.” 

Joel ground his teeth and you closed your eyes again.

“What’s in Wyoming, anyway?” Henry asked. 

“My brother,” Joel said after a moment. “Think he might know a good place to go. Hopefully a lot fuckin’ better than here, especially when it comes to raisin’ kids…” 

“Do you think they’ll be OK?” Henry asked. You opened your eyes again to look at him and he jerked his head toward the door. Ellie was leaning over a comic book they’d taken from the settlement in the tunnels, making dramatic hand gestures. 

“Yeah,” you said after a moment of watching them. “Kids are like rubber. Shit just bounces off of them sometimes. Not to say don’t keep an eye on him, pay attention to him, ask if he needs to talk or wants help but… I think he’ll be OK.” 

“And Wyoming can be a new start for him,” Henry said. “For both of us. It’ll be good for us, I think.” 

“New start’s not a bad thing,” Joel said, looking at you, his eyes serious. “Sometimes it’s just what you need.” 

You smiled a bit at him. 

The three of you let the kids play for a while longer before Joel and Henry went in to collect the lantern and tell them that it was time to go to sleep. You weren’t too far behind, stretching your sleeping bag out on the floor. 

Henry put his on the opposite side of the room and Joel set his up close to yours. You frowned. 

“You don’t have to worry about me, whatever you’re doing,” you said. He shrugged. 

“Wanted to stay close,” he said. “Make sure you don’t go and try to offer yourself up as a sacrifice to whatever fucker happens to come by…” 

You rolled your eyes. 

“Don’t be mad at me because my logic made the most sense,” you scoffed. He stretched out on his sleeping bag. 

“It didn’t make sense,” he said. “Not to me.” 

“You’ll need to get over that hangup,” you muttered as you stretched out, too. He just grunted back at you but put his arm over you again, his elbow settling comfortably into the area between your hipbones and your ribs. 

You knew you should fight him on this. On him touching you. You knew it would be bad for you, in the end. When he got bored, when he worked through whatever he was working through, when he put you down again. Like an old toy that he knew would still be sitting there when he returned, he’d leave you behind and you would stay right where he left you, waiting for him to take an interest again. 

But it couldn’t be good for him, either. To be working himself closer to you knowing what would come next. It couldn’t be painless, could it? He had to feel something, right? 

Maybe he didn’t. Maybe his indifference had grown to the point where you were just a warm body now, something of such little consequence he could wrap around you one night and break away from you the next. 

You could deal with the fallout of it when it came, you figured. When you went with the Fireflies, it was going to feel a bit like the end of all things. You were going to be alone, more alone than you’d been since the night of the outbreak. Now was not the time to be picky if he was giving you something that you could live with losing. Now was the time to cling to his touch, memorize it, see if you could fall into it when you were alone, too. You fell asleep feeling his breath on your neck. 

You woke up to screaming. 

Joel jumped up, tearing to his feet as Ellie scrambled out of the bedroom, Sam snarling viciously behind her. 

It took you a moment to start to understand what was happening, your sleep-addled brain not able to catch up as you clambered out to your feet. You’d asked everyone, when you got here last night. Henry had asked Sam, you’d watched him do it. It didn’t make sense, he couldn’t have turned, it didn’t make sense, how could he have turned? 

“Ellie!” Joel screamed, going for her but Henry pulled his gun, shooting the floor at his feet where you’d been just seconds before. Joel threw you behind him. Ellie screamed and you tried to go for her but Henry kept the gun on you, his eyes wide. 

“There’s nothing you can do!” You yelled at him. “He’s gone, you can’t help him, there’s nothing…” 

He turned the gun to Sam and fired. A horrible, wracking sound tore from Ellie and you pressed your face into Joel’s back. His whole body was stiff. You clung to him, not wanting to look at the small body you knew was just feet away. 

“Ellie,” Joel said. “You OK?” 

She made a noise that sounded like a yes. 

“Oh my God,” Henry breathed. You opened your eyes and stepped around Joel. The gun was still in Henry’s hand. It was pointed at nothing. “What… what did I do?” 

He was staring at the place you couldn’t look. 

“You had to,” you said quietly. “He was already gone, you saved Ellie…” 

“Henry,” Joel said, stepping toward him cautiously. “Just give me the gun. It’s OK, just…” 

He turned the gun toward himself. 

“No,” Joel said, reaching for him, trying to be calm, trying to maintain control. “No, don’t…” 

He pulled the trigger before the sentence had left Joel’s mouth. You jumped and flinched and pressed your face into Joel’s back again as Ellie screamed, the sound ripping through you. 

You forced yourself to open your eyes, to look where you’d been dreading to look, your stomach twisting at the sight of the tiny body on the floor. Ellie sat there, her eyes wide and watery, mouth open in shock, staring at where Henry’s body lay on the ground. 

You went for her, stepping over Sam’s small frame to gather her in your arms. She let you, her limbs limp and pliant. 

“It’s OK sweetheart,” you said softly, kissing the crown of her head as she pressed her face into your chest. “I’m so sorry. It’s going to be OK. I’m so sorry…” 

You just held her as she sobbed, surrounded by the bodies of the people who you’d thought you could save. 

Taglist: @paleidiot@ayamenimthiriel@ginger-swag-rapunzel@drewharrisonwriter@flugazi@pedropascalsbbg @taoyuji@starstruckmusiciansartghost@splendsay@bigboiseason123 @jpbplvr@ashleyandring @mrsyixingunicorn10@sloanexx@ninaminaromina@lady-bellyn @hufflepuffriver@sarap-77 @storyarcscribe@mellymbee @jasminedragoon@lemonmeli@reds-ramblings@arizonadaydreamer@mumma-moonchild@blackroseguzzi@candypeaches16@kittenlittle24@wrappedinfiction@oatmeaiboy@pedritosdarling@winchestergypsy90 @imnotdatboii@lalalalemonade11@maknimuk1 @mrsdarcyinlovewithbuckybarnes@pedrosaidsheispunk @commanderawkward @n7cje@elliesgirlll@tsunamistorm123 @spookyxsam @leeeesahhh

A/N: A sad goodbye to Sam and Henry wraps up this chunk of canon overlap. Next up, we're going to see a lot more of the trip to Jackson with our little trio - including some stuff that I think people have been really looking forward to *wink wink*

So I did something different with my taglist today. A writer buddy told me you have to like... do something to each handle to make it a tag and not just copy/paste? Yeah I'm still fumbling around with this site guys lol I've only been here like 2 months so I apologize! Hopefully the tagging worked better this time! Let me know in the comments if you want to be added to the tag list :)

Thank you so much for reading! It's been so fun to write the story with all of you reading along. I so love reading all of your thoughts and knowing that you're invested in these characters. Thanks for hanging out with my work. Love you all!

[maybege]

... Stays In Quantico - FBI Part 2

Summary: Back in Quantico, you are reminded just how difficult your situation is. (Part 2 of the FBI Series)

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!Reader

Wordcount: 3.1k | Rating: T

Warnings: descriptions of an anxiety attack

Here we are! I am so excited to finally start sharing this story with you. Having binged through all 15 seasons, I just want to say now that (1) this story will be canon-divergent and (2) it will be a slow burn. It is my first longer story about Hotch and I hope I will do his character justice. As always, you can find the posting schedule linked in my masterlist.

Have fun reading and let me know what you think.

masterlist | crossposted on AO3

“I don’t know what to think.”

“This is not the kind of job where you don’t know what to think.”

“I know.”

“Hard to believe from someone who just told me she doesn’t know what to think.”

You shifted in your seat. The office you were in was colder than the bullpen of the BAU and you wished you had remembered to bring your cardigan with you. Now all you were wearing was your short-sleeved dress and heels.

To be fair, you had presumed this would just be a standard meeting with the in-house therapist. After the incident in Kansas City, it seemed like standard procedure and you were glad to have been offered this opportunity.

Now though, sitting in the way too soft armchair with the brunette older woman looking at you over her glasses, this felt more like an evaluation than anything else. And you absolutely hated it.

You looked at the still-life of a fruit bowl on the right wall, right next to a bookshelf full of framed certificates. A woman who was proud of her accomplishments.

The first and last time you had had an evaluation was when you had first started working at the FBI and back then you had been sure that you had failed it. You had been sure you had failed all of it.

Your grandmother always used to say that if you looked for flaws long enough you would find them.

Dr Johnson looked like she spent her life looking for flaws.

“Tell me again why you chose to work for the FBI – and the BAU specifically.”

You would not make it anyway. Fuck it.

“There is so much hurt in the world,” you started, watching her eyebrows rise over the frames of her glasses, “I would feel better knowing I am trying to do something against it. And as for the BAU,” you shrugged, “Chief Sector Strauss approached me about it and I thought I would be stupid not to take the opportunity.”

She hummed, looking down at her file. “You don’t have any official FBI training.”

“No.”

“Any formal police training?”

“No.”

“Gun training?”

You hid your smile at the thought of the recent debacle for the gun qualification.

“I took down an UnSub in Kansas City last week,” you reminded her, “That is why I am here.”

She did not react to it. “In fact,” she leafed through the papers in her hand, “You only recently finished college. How did that go for you?”

“Good,” you nodded, trying to keep your knee from bouncing, “It was good.”

“What did you major in?”

“English,” you replied and when you saw her raised eyebrow, tried to elaborate, “Um, English literature to be exact and I have a minor in law as well.”

“Why only a minor?”

“Pardon me?”

“Why did you only minor in law? Were you not good enough?”

To cover the unease from her question, you crossed your legs. “I had no interest in law,” you answered truthfully, “My passion was and is with literature.”

The full truth was, you simply did not like law students. That and the pressure they were under was, you were convinced, what brought many lawyers to an early grave. But she did not need to know that about you.

Ironic that you had ended up in the BAU after all this.

Totally not stressful.

She said your name, then, slowly, and leant forward. You tensed, knowing that look too well. Was this the moment she would tell you that you had failed the valuation? The moment Hotch would come into the office and hand you your resignation with that disappointed look in his eyes.

Maybe the way Kansas City had ended was just a way to disguise the true going-ons of your work here in Quantico?

“You have been here, what, seven months now, Agent?”

“Yes, eight months, coming February,” you replied, meeting her gaze and swallowing the dryness of your throat.

“Would you say you have adjusted to your life here in Virginia?”

You frowned, “What do you mean?”

Dr Johnson made a vague gesture as if encompassing everything and anything, “Do you have friends here? Family? How do you get on with your colleagues?”

Well, you certainly had not been expecting this kind of question.

“I live together with a friend,” you answered slowly, “My family lives in Idaho.”

“Idaho,” Johnson smiled, “A long way from home, no?”

“Yes.”

“Look, Agent, I am not going to lie,” she sighed, putting her pen down on the notepad, “I am not sure if you are the right fit for the FBI.”

You’re not the only one, you thought with a grimace.

“I am sure you are a good person, that your motivations for working here are true,” she elaborated, “But your lack of training? Your lack of … experience,” she gave you a pitiful look, “I am simply not convinced you are cut out for the work we need here.”

You had always thought it but hearing someone else say it to your face hit deeper than you ever could have thought. Your fingers started to tremble and you clasped your hands together, squeezing them to somehow force yourself to remain with as much dignity as you could.

“Okay,” you nodded, taking a deep breath in the hopes that it would keep your tears at bay, “What – what does that mean?”

“As there are no reasons for a suspension based on your mental health, the next step would be that I get in contact with your supervisor,” she threw a look on her paper, “SSA Aaron Hotchner, is that correct?” you nodded and she continued, “A written evaluation of your role at the BAU will be requested and then we will go from there. Best case scenario is you won’t leave at all, worst case scenario …”, she trailed off.

Of course, she did not need to finish the sentence for you to know what she was saying.

Worst case scenario: You would leave the FBI.

Realization washed over you and you smiled tightly at her. “Thank you, Dr Johnson,” you stood up, reaching a polite hand out to her which she took, “If you will excuse me, I should get back to my desk while I still can.”

Dr Johnson smiled kindly at you which only made it worse. She was pitying you. She felt sorry for you. Sorry for your incompetence, sorry for you not belonging in this place.

You felt like you would throw up any minute.

“Of course, Agent,” she said softly, “I will inform your supervisor of my recommendation. You will receive a copy of the protocol within the next week.”

You nodded, not meeting her eyes as you hurried out of her office.

*

The staff washroom on the third floor was always empty.

You knew that from the fact that you had often used it as a refuge after nearly dissolving into tears in the bullpen. That and the fact that the third floor was far away enough for anyone of the BAU to search for you here made it the perfect place to come after your talk with Dr Johnson.

You threw a look on your watch.

Six minutes. You would give yourself six minutes and then you would go to your desk and work on those reports and show Dr Johnson that you loved your job and that you were capable of doing it. You would show her that you were not the anxious, incompetent student she saw in you but someone who could be an asset to the team.

I am not sure if you are the right fit for the FBI.

Tears shot into your eyes and you locked the little cabin behind you, sitting on the edge of the toilet as you rushed to grab a few pieces of toilet paper.

The first sob echoed in the tiled room and you pressed the tissues to your mouth, hoping it would muffle the sounds somewhat. Your skin felt too hot and too tight and you could already see how your makeup would be ruined by the tears no matter how hard you tried.

And you had left your backup mascara in your bag at your desk.

Great. Just great.

Anxiety filled you at the thought of having to prove yourself even more than before. After Kansas City and Hotch’s encouraging words, you had somehow hoped that the hard part was over now. That you could focus on delivering good work instead of questioning if everyone doubted your belonging in the unit.

But maybe they were and they were just too polite to mention it? Maybe Dr Johnson was finally saying what they all wanted to spare you from?

Tears were rolling freely over your cheeks now, dropping onto your dress and you cursed, trying to wipe it away and somehow keep your face dry. There were still quite a few hours left in the workday and although you hoped there would not be a case coming in today, you were working along with a team of profilers.

You were like an open book to them even if there was the agreement to not profile each other.

A look on your watch told you it was nearly time to go and you took a moment to listen if anybody was there before stepping out of the little cubicle. It was completely abandoned.

Much like you had expected, you looked an absolute mess and just seeing yourself in the mirror brought fresh tears into your eyes.

“Fidelity, Bravery and Integrity,” you echoed the motto, gripping the edge of the counter and taking deep breaths, “Fidelity, Bravery and Integrity.”

*

“Hey, kid, how did it go?”

You entered the chaotic bullpen, just barely avoiding crashing into Anderson before making your way to your desk. Reid was seated across from you which meant that no matter how much of a mess you left at the end of a day, it still looked comparably neat.

Now though, it was nearly empty.

“Hi Derek,” you smiled tightly, your eyes still irritated from your impromptu cry session as you sat down at your desk.

You had splashed cold water on your face in hopes of somehow feeling and looking better. Still, you immediately went for your bag, scrambling to find your emergency mascara and lipstick to sneak back into the washroom before anyone noticed.

Especially –

“Agent,” Hotch’s voice boomed through the office and you winced, feeling the heat of tears collecting in your eyes again. You stayed ducked over your bag, hoping that maybe he did not mean you. Maybe he wanted to talk to Derek or Emily or Reid or –

Cleanly polished shoes appeared in your field of vision and you swallowed.

“In my office. Now.”

“Yes, Sir,” you mumbled, hastily wiping your cheek of a stray tear before straightening and following him up the stairs. You ignored Derek’s worried look, instead choosing to straighten your shoulders and stoically look ahead.

This was but an extension of the interview with Dr Johnson. You could do this even if the man terrified and intrigued you more than he should.

You had barely stepped foot in his office when he sat down. “Close the door. Sit down.”

You did, feeling much smaller than you had in Dr Johnson’s office. His lips were tight and he looked incredibly displeased, even for Hotch’s standards. You must have majorly messed up.

His hands were clasped in front of him and your eyes fell to his fingers. You swallowed heavily, hands wringing in your lap as you waited for him to start talking.

“Dr Johnson just informed me that a written evaluation of your performance on this team is being requested.”

“Sir, I can explain, I –“

He raised a hand, effectively silencing you and your mouth snapped shut.

“You do not need to explain anything,” he said calmly, “Dr Johnson is only doing her job and after what happened last week, it might not be such a bad idea.”

You nodded, trying to not seem as nervous as you were.

“Do not worry yourself over it. I meant what I said in Kansas,” he stated, facial expression unreadable, “You are a valuable addition to this team and I look forward to seeing your contributions in the future.”

“Yes, Sir,” you looked down on your hands, trying to hide your nervousness, “Thank you, Sir.”

“Call me Hotch.”

“Yes, Si- Hotch,” you corrected yourself with a sheepish smile. He was sitting at his desk, hands folded on top of it as he looked at you. And fuck, it should be forbidden to look this good. You froze, licking your lips and hoping you would be able to blame it on the dryness of your lips instead of you imagining what it would be like to feel his mouth on yours.

Not the time, a rational part of your brain reminded you, So not the fucking time.

*

Shuffling through the crowded metro you pressed your phone to your ear.

“I promise, it is all right, mom,” you assured her, letting yourself fall into one of the free seats, keeping your bag pressed against your chest. An elderly woman threw you an offended look and shuffled away from you as if you had any interest in stealing her dog off her hands.

“I am just worried, honey,” your mom said on the other side of the phone, “We are all worried. It is a hard job, isn’t it? And why do they keep putting you up for evaluations? You haven’t even been there for a full year!”

“Mom –“

“Are you okay?” she interrupted you in that voice that only your mom had, “Truly okay?

Your head fell against the window of the wagon, the heaviness of the day washing over you. You took a shuddering breath, “No, Mom, I – I don’t think I am.”

There was a sigh on the other side of the line. She was disappointed and worried, you could hear it already and it did not help to calm the anxiety raging in your stomach. You could almost see her in front of you, the pity in her eyes and the little furrow between her brows.

“You can always come home, hon, you know that, right?” she asked carefully and you cringed at how quiet she was being, “We can still find somewhere else for you to work. A nice option. You can come back home and dad and I will help you. I know it can take some time to find a good position. But you had so much fun doing literature, why not go back to it? You don’t have to stick there if it doesn’t make you happy.”

“But it does make me happy, mom,” you protested, wincing at how desperate you sounded, before adding quietly, “Saving people is what I want to do. And I can do it.”

“I am not saying you can’t, sweetie,” she assured you, “But maybe it is not what you should do with your life, hm?”

*

You could see that the light was on in the living room when you entered the small hallway. The sounds of the TV washed over your ears and you smiled.

“I’m home!”

A non-committal grunt answered you and you grinned, knowing that he was probably too entranced in whatever crime show he was currently watching. You let your keys fall onto the little side table and made sure to lock the deadbolt before making your way to Josh.

Your heels made clicking sounds on the floor and you took care to be as quiet as possible. “Hi,” you grinned, waving at him.

Josh was tall and lanky. And despite being offended if you ever told him that – looked exactly like one would imagine a law student to look. He was always well dressed and took great care when it came to all things cultural. He drank the best wine, read all the important books, watched all the niche movies to impress people.

Sometimes you joked that of the two of you, he was the one who could be expected to work for a government institution.

“It’s late,” he commented, nodding to the screen, “You’re usually here by the second episode.”

“I wanted to get some reports done,” you explained, shrugging out of your coat, “Had a chat with my boss today again. I thought it might be better to not give any more opportunities to criticize me. How was your day?”

“Boring,” he replied, “Attended that one event about intellectual property and want to lunch with a few friends from uni. You should come with us sometime, you will like them.”

You nodded, already thinking ahead of a day when you would have enough free time to join him and his friends. Dr Jones’ words about having a strong social life to fall back to echoed in your mind and you decided to make more of an effort to make friends.

It would be all right.

There was some Chinese takeout in Josh’s lap and you spotted a few grocery bags in the small hallway to your room and the kitchen.

“Did you get me the bananas like I asked?” you asked, slipping out of your heels.

Josh kept munching on his noddle, making a vague gesture that led you into the kitchen. And there, on the tiny dining table were two green bananas.

“They are not even ripe yet,” you called into the living room, “And I asked for four bananas, not two.”

“What do you need them for anyway?”

“I wanted to bake banana bread,” you said, turning to get out some flour and chocolate chips, “It’s an easy breakfast to have in the metro.”

Josh sighed, walking into the kitchen and throwing himself onto the black dining chair. “You barely eat at home anyway, that’ll just go to waste.”

“Which is exactly why it is nice to have something ready to eat on the go,” you explained, wondering if he had overheard your words.

Cracking two eggs into a bowl, you hummed. “I could bring it into the office,” you mused, starting to mush up the bananas, “I think JJ mentioned she liked it once.”

“To the colleagues that despise you?”

You frowned, “They don’t despise me. They are very nice to me, Josh.”

Josh took the last bite of his noodles, setting down the little container “By the way, Greg is coming over tonight.

“But it’s almost midnight,” you stated, throwing a confused look towards the clock, just to make sure, “Didn’t you say you will leave for that Seattle trip tomorrow?”

“Yeah, if it gets too late he will just stay on the couch,” Josh replied, shrugging. You nodded, not saying anything but knowing deep down that George would occupy the bathroom that morning so you would have to get up even earlier than normal.

That would be a stressful day.

[synthient]

Okay, here’s a blow-by-blow of differences in the earlier draft of the script (note: I’m comparing it with the published version of the script, which also has some differences from the final movie. so I won’t be mentioning stuff like the beta 6th One reveal)

[Main changes:]

When Trinity meets Neo at the club, she says “I know why you left your family and friends, why you left your home to come to this city.”

The “IRS d-base” she hacked was apparently in Kansas City

Neo explicitly lives in Chicago. Morpheus spends his construct speech talking about "this is Chicago as it existed in the 20th century, and this is Chicago now" instead of "the world" (which has the funny side effect of making it sound like the apocalypse was localized to Chicago. the rest of the world is fine, maybe)

Choi and Apoc are the only two characters whose races are described (Chinese and Black, respectively). Both were cast as white guys in the actual movie

In the woman in red scene, it’s revealed at the very beginning that they’re in a training simulation, so there’s no twist. Morpheus is more cynical about everyone in the Matrix being the enemy, and doesn’t mention wanting to save them. The description of the pointed shot of the cop is also missing

Mouse doesn’t go on his tangent about tasty wheat, and doesn’t try to be a “digital pimp”

Morpheus comes off as pushier about getting Neo to accept that he's the One. A lot of the intensity was dialed back in the next draft

The scene where Cypher and Smith meet for dinner is absent. Cypher's betrayal isn't revealed until right up when he shoots Tank

Oddly, the Agents say "Reagan has failed" instead of "the informant has failed," which would have been confusing without the earlier Mr. Reagan scene

Cypher's villain monologue is shorter, and doesn't really focus on his bitterness at Morpheus/belief that he was tricked into taking the red pill

Cypher talks about Neo's "pretty blue eyes"

There’s an odd mention of Zion’s mainframe being “only accessible through the Matrix”

There’s a small, cut exchange where the soldiers start panicking and wanting to evacuate as Neo and Trinity shoot up the building, while the Agents order them to remain at their posts (making it clearer that the cops and soldiers were human)

Smith is the first Agent to get mowed down by the helicopter instead of the last

Smith’s shots at the helicopter miss. The helicopter doesn’t crash, and Neo doesn’t save Trinity by holding onto the cable. They just land safely on a roof

There’s a slightly extended version of Neo’s race to room 303 (including Jones popping out of a girl scout troop)

Neo is described as taking over Smith like a reverse Agent-assimilation, rather than exploding him (which might have looked a little less goofy)

Neo's phonebooth monologue is shorter, explicitly aimed at whoever "built" the Matrix, and pretty basic and unphilosophical

[Small but extremely funny changes:]

Secret service sphincter (secret service sphincter)

The bug extraction descriptions were edited to make them marginally less horny (it’s still described as a speculum in both versions)

We end up banging the GET IT. DO YOU GEDDIT. IT’S WOMB IMAGERY pots and pans a little less loudly

[Walks up to semi-conscious patient in a hospital bed and puts a Sick Pair Of Shades on him]. Also implies there was going to be less difference between the Matrix and real world costumes designs. Also food for the norpheus shippers

[with Laurence Fishburne gravitas] lmao wild right

Everyone Says Fuck. a lot. all the fucks (and some of the shits) were tragically lost in the edit

DODGE THIS MUTHERFUCKER

[write-orflight]

Settle Down: Prologue

**Gif Not Mine**

Prev -  Next

Pairings: SpencerXReader (kinda enemies to lovers) 

Rating: M

Words: 2.5K

Warnings: None, will be smut in eventual chapters

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary: Y/N and Spencer don’t get along but turn to each other for the one thing you need someone else for... A baby. You can plantonically start a family, right?

A.N: this is a bad bio but idk how else to put it. it’s a baby fic! I wouldn’t say this is enemies to lovers but they certainly don’t like each other at first so it kinda is. comment on this chap or message to be on the taglist. much love, Cia

                Prologue:  A Powerpoint, Really? 

If you had told 16 year old Y/N that she’d be working at the FBI, she would’ve called you batshit. 

Not only, did you not have any respect for authority or any inclination for rules in that matter, working for the FBI was never in the forefront of your mind. But when given the option of Jail or a full time job with benefits, it was fairly easy to make a choice. You remember the first day when you met your work partner and now best friend Penelope Garcia or specifically the day she caught you. 

You were waiting tables like you did every weekend to stay afloat. Today was unreasonably slow so you were just finding small things to do. That’s when she came in, an extremely brightly dressed woman, sat at the bar of the diner. 

“Hi, how can I help you?” You smile at the woman who looks up at you and smiles. 

“Yes, I’m looking for the Emerald City.” She says, smirking at you. Your face drops, you knew what she was talking about. 

When you started hacking it was only supposed to be a one time thing. You grew up poor, spent most of your life poor so when you saw your childhood home was set to be demolished to build a fancy new headquarters for Scotty Realins, an upcoming asshole tech CEO, without a cent going to your parents.  Something in you snapped. You had already been pretty decent at code and you flirted with a couple of guys in your STEM classes to learn how to hack so you would say you were pretty good at this point. So you hacked into the website and made sure all the Revenue for that day actually was wired to lower-income housing. At the end of the day, it was only a couple hundred thousand dollars but what was pennies to Scotty Realins changed some people's lives. 

So you started doing it more, to different companies under the pseudonym OZ. The money always went to different places that needed it whether it was paying the rent for a bunch of families or anonymous large donations to food banks or soup kitchens. You gained a bit of fame in the hacker community as a modern day Robin Hood. 

All good things come to an end though. And the end was standing in front of you in clunky, rainbow colored jewelry. 

“You don’t look like a cop.” you say, crossing your arms. 

“I’ll do you one better.” She says, pulling her FBI badge out, showing it to you briefly. You curse under your breath. “I’ve been following you for a while, OZ. Though I wasn’t expecting the man behind the curtain to be a woman. I will say, having my computers route back to a loop of “We’re not in Kansas anymore.” everytime I tried to track your IP was impressive. I couldn’t even be mad about it.” 

“Clearly not that impressive because you found me.” 

“Still took me longer than usual, which is saying a lot.” 

“This is a really long winded conversation if you’re just here to arrest me.” You say, taking off your apron. No use in keeping it on if you were going to be in handcuffs soon. 

“That’s because I’m not here to arrest you. I’m here to offer you a job, to work under me as a Tech Analyst in the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI.” Penelope says. 

“And if I don’t want to?” 

“Then you’re going to want a lawyer and my very good handsome friend outside is going to arrest you. You’re smart and you have a chance to help people which is why you started hacking in the first place, right? Please don’t make me do that.” She looked at you pleadingly like she really cared and didn’t want you to go to prison. You didn’t say anything but something told you she’d been in the same boat as you before. 

“Hmmm…. I’m tired of waiting tables anyway.” 

So you uprooted your life and moved from Philadelphia to Quantico. Garcia took you under her wing and pretty soon the two of you functioned in her batcave like a well oiled machine. You could do without the constant gore that filled your screens but at the end of the day, you loved what you were doing and you wouldn’t change that for the world. 

The team was an added bonus, it was nice to have your own little found family. Garcia, of course, taking on the role as best friend mere days after your first meeting. You met Derek Morgan right after you agreed to take the job, he’d been there to arrest you and was very glad he wouldn’t have to do that. He told you often about how you reminded him of his sister and he regarded you in the role of younger sister from that day on. The next person you met had been Aaron Hotchner, your new boss. It took him a couple of weeks to warm up to you, you guessed he had a difficulty trusting new people and when he would call you guys for information he would always ask for Garcia instantly instead of you, not very trusting in your skills yet. Though that changed when you had been the one to track down the Unsub once. 

Rossi was easily won over when you told him about your Italian side of the family, specifically your grandmother who loved to cook and left you a lot of recipes. You and him often went back and forth in sharing dishes. Emily and JJ had also been easily won over with one bottle of tequila and a regrettable girls night. 

Then there was Dr. Spencer Reid.     

You had a lot of opinions on Dr. Reid, most of them weren’t good. It wasn’t like you hated him in fact, you’d consider him a friend but the two of you seemed to butt heads on well, everything. Both of you needing to be the smartest in the room and neither of you wanting to admit when you’re wrong will do that though. You still respected Spencer though, he was an extreme asset to the team and he was your best friend’s other best friend so you couldn’t really hate the guy. 

You also didn’t have to like him. 

So you had a good job, good friends, a nice house to live in. You were finally happy, content even. So why did it feel like something was missing? 

The something missing came in a stroller pushed by JJ the next week. 

The last case had been rough. Really rough. So while the team was on their way back you and Garcia hatched a plan for JJ to come visit from maternity leave and surprise everyone with the baby. While you guys were waiting for them to land, Garcia wanted to show JJ something she had gotten her godson so JJ asked if you could watch him and feed him until she got back, which you obviously agreed to. As you were feeding the child his bottle, and his ravioli sized fist wrapped around your finger you realized what had been missing. 

Fuck, you wanted a kid. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

You told Garcia first, it slipped when she noticed how off you were being. You wanted to have a kid bad now and you knew you didn’t want to wait. Penny tried to convince you that you’d “find the right person” but let’s face it, with this job, long term relationships were few and far inbetween. Plus you didn’t need a man, you had a good job and insurance, you knew you could provide a child with a life full of love it deserved. So you made an appointment at a fertility clinic. As the doctor was talking to you about your options, you felt yourself feeling more and more down about your decision and that only increased as you looked in the book of sperm donors in front of you. You looked at too many serial killers daily that it made you uneasy, carrying a stranger's baby. Maybe Garcia was right and your best bet was to wait for ‘the right guy.’ Even though you really didn’t want to. 

You walked into work later, a little sullen. Heading immediately towards the coffee machine. Penelope, who had been at Derek’s desk, makes a beeline towards you.  

“So how’d it go?” She says, smiling. “Did you make an appointment to be baby-fied?” 

You sigh. “I couldn’t do it, Pen.” You say, frowning. “I just-- We see so much here that I don’t want to accidentally end up with a sociopath’s baby because I couldn’t wait.” 

“But you don’t want to wait, do you?” She says softly, empathizing with you. 

“No, I don’t.” You sigh again, finishing making your cup before walking back out into the bullpen. JJ had brought Henry again for the others to see on the slow paperwork day. You tried not to look bitter but it was like she was flaunting the one thing you couldn’t have, even if it was unintentional. You watched as she handed the baby to Spencer, who instantly smiled and made faces at the laughing baby. 

“Spencer is actually a surprisingly good godfather.” Garcia says, smiling at the exchange in front of you. “Kinda makes you wonder what he’d be like with his own baby geniuses.” She says before walking over to the group and scooping her godson out of Spencer’s arms, Spencer still held on to his fist with his pinky, smiling down at the child. 

“Yea…” You say, to no one in particular. 

You had an idea. A probably bad one. 

-------------------------------------------------------

You were sitting in the coffee shop, nervously fiddling on your laptop while waiting for Spencer. You were surprised he even agreed to meet with you for coffee though you were sure he was just doing it out of curiosity because you told him you had something important to talk about. You weren’t even sure if you were going about this the right way. Hey Spencer, I know we’re not even friends but how would you feel about fathering my child? God, this was going to be terrible. 

You looked up when you heard the tell-tale bell on the door indicating someone walking in. Spencer gave you a small wave before going to the counter to get a coffee. You took that time to nervously sip yours. Your heart was beating a mile a minute, it was now or never. 

“Hey.” Spencer says, when he finally gets to the table, coffee in hand. “Why are you all the way in the corner?” 

“This isn’t really a conversation I want overheard.” 

Spencer tilts his head confused at that. “So what is the conversation we’re supposed to be having. I asked Garcia but she seemed to also have no idea.” 

“Yea, I didn’t tell her on account of this maybe going extremely bad.” You say, before sighing and turning your laptop around so Spencer could see the Powerpoint screen you have on it. When he reads it,  he chokes on his coffee.

“A Powerpoint, really?” He chokes, still coughing around the coffee. “Y/N, what is this?” 

“This is Reasons Why You Should Make a Baby With me.” 

“Yea, I got that from the title, Y/N.” He says, still shocked. “Is this a joke?!” 

“I wish it was, Reid.”

“Can I at least ask why you thought a Powerpoint was the best way to ask?”   

“Because I felt you’d be more inclined to consider it if you knew I spent time on a presentation.” 

“That’s true.” He leans back, taking a sip of his coffee, gesturing for you to continue. You hit the next slide. 

“Ok, reason number one is we both want kids.” You say, looking at him. “Garcia told me the other day that you were talking about how much you wanted a kid and I also want a kid.”  

“I did tell Garcia that.” He muses. 

“Reason two, an offspring between us would probably result in another genius. As you know, you are smart.” 

“Yes.” 

“And I am smarter.” You say, Spencer opens his mouth to protest but you keep talking. “A child between us could probably be the next Einstein.” 

Spencer nods and you continue. “Reason three, I’d be a great mom.” 

“That’s a debatable fact.” 

“No, it’s not. You’ve seen me around kids, have I ever given an inclination that I wouldn’t be?” You ask, he shakes his head. “Plus, I happen to think you’d be a great father. Which brings me to Reason 4.” You say clicking through the next slide. “If you don’t want to be involved in raising that’s fine. I’m perfectly fine raising the child myself an--” 

“What?! No!” Spencer says, sitting up. “If I do agree to have this baby, which I’m not completely doing yet. I want to be involved, I want them to know I’m their father and that I didn’t abandon them because I know what that’s like.” He says, seriously. You nod, already knowing this about Spencer. 

“Reason 5: I’d be the perfect platonic co-parent, I won’t ask you for anything unless it’s pertaining to the child and if you decide that later down the road you want your own family, I’d be supportive and help you along the way.”

Spencer nods. “We’re never home enough for a baby.” 

“That’s where you’re wrong because I’ll be here. I mainly stay here anyway and if there’s ever a case where you need a tech analyst to fly out, Garcia’s already agreed to have it already be her when I floated the baby idea around last month.”  

Spencer hummed, silent for a second. “You really want a kid, huh?” 

“Yes.” You say. 

“So much so you’re asking me?” Spencer says, matter-of-factly. “A Coworker you barely speak to?”

Well, when he says it like that. 

“Yes. I’m asking because while we don’t get along the best you are still one of the most compassionate, understanding men I know. And I know that if I have to raise this kid with somebody, you would love them just as much as I would.” You say, Spencer nods at that. “So, please?” 

Spencer sighs. “When’s your next appointment? At the fertility clinic?” 

You didn’t even want to ask how he knew about that. “Next tuesday.” 

He nods. “I’m going with you.” He says, standing, pulling the strap of his messenger bag over his shoulder. “This isn’t a yes.” 

“It’s not a no, either.” You point out. 

“No, it’s not.” He says, leaving you behind in the coffee shop with a huge grin on your face.

Taglist: @moonshinerbynight​ @crimeshowtrash​

Message/reply to be tagged!!

[boldlyvoid]

Hypothetically | chapter 11-15

summary: Reader and Spencer were friends in kindergarten, she watched him grow up and explore the world while she was still trying to catch up to him. now that they work together, they fall in love incredibly fast.

friends to lovers, case of the week style story

A/N: Set between seasons 4 and 6, not following canon. all original crimes based on real-life stories.

Warnings 18+: Murderers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Blood, Guns, mentions of autopsy, Fluff, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, bed-sharing, Riding, Unprotected Sex, Virgin Reader, Case of the Week, original crimes, Food mention, Smut, Oral Sex, Light BDSM, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Talk, obgyn appointments and info, Home Invasion, Past Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Emotional Manipulation, Grooming, Pedophilia mention, non-con oral (male receiving), Pregnant Sex, Daddy Kink, Breeding Kink, Homophobia, conversion therapy

Word Count: 10k

chapter 11

“I got him!” Penelope came running into the bullpen. “The VICAP counsellor! He did it again!”

She ran up the stairs with her computer in her hands, straight into the briefing room. Everyone followed her.

“Last night in Kansas, a woman reported that the school guidance counsellor might be toughing her daughter. I called the local PD and explained the situation. They gave me his school photo and, boom, Peter Van Swank.”

“So he hasn’t raped anyone that we know of?” JJ asked.

“No, so I asked them not to let this get out. That he can’t know they’re on to him,” Garcia was frantic. “I’ve sent you all the information, and the plane is prepped and ready when you are.”

“Thank you, baby girl,” Derek kissed her head as the team scrambled out of the room.

On the plane, Garcia was FaceTimed in and waiting to give a run down. “He’s currently identifying as Jacob Hultman, 56. The school counsellor and substitute gym teacher. All ‘round icky man who I would very much like to do this to:” she ranted before smacking her fist against her other palm.

“Okay, calm down there, hot stuff,” Morgan laughed at her. “What’s he doing today?”

“The police have asked the Principal to call him to the office when we land, where an officer is going to cuff him and bring to the station for us,” Garcia explained. “They’re prepping search warrants for his property and his computers; they’re just waiting for a team to assist at the scene.”

“Prentiss, Y/N, and Reid, I want you to go to his house and search it all, top to bottom, take the walls down if you need to. We need to know what else he’s hiding. This man is capable of a lot.” Hotch instructed. “Garcia, can you ask them to wait till Morgan and I are outside the school. We should expect him to try to run.”

“on it,” Garcia said before disappearing off the screen.

“Let’s get this fucker,” Prentiss said, fist-bumping Morgan from across the table.

—

At Van Swank’s house, they split into teams to search the place. CSI was digging in the yard; they were lifting loose floorboards and fake bricks in the fireplace. Looking behind mirrors in the bathrooms, and then Y/N saw it.

“Spence, Emily?” She called out.

Spencer and Emily ran down the stairs. Towards the room, Y/N was in, where she had moved the couch and rug and found a hole in the floor. “Who’s going down there?”

“Not it,” Prentiss said.

“I can hold the flashlight?” Spencer offered.

Y/N huffed and moved the wood from the hole, finding stairs and a railing underneath. Spencer held a light over the hole while Y/N took her gun from her holster, taking it off the safety before heading down the steps.

The flashlight at the end of her gun was on. She kept her back to the wall as she looked around the room. “Hello? Is anyone in here?”

She could hear whimpering, “my name is Y/N, I’m with the FBI. If you’re trapped down here, I can help you.” She offered into the darkness.

“I’m here,” a small voice said. Y/N almost got whiplash turning towards the voice.

A girl no more than 16, was naked and alone, chained to some pipes in the corner of the room. “Spencer, I need a blanket or something to cover her up quickly. And we need to get her out of these chains.”

Y/N set her gun down, kneeling in front of the girl. “Do you know your name?”

“He called me Rosie,” she cried.

Emily came down the stairs with a blanket and bolt cutters. They freed her from the chains around her body. They wrapped her up and brought her upstairs into the light.

An ambulance arrived shortly, but the girl wouldn’t let go of Y/N. “Don’t let them take me.”

“I’ll come with you to the hospital, I won’t let anyone touch you without your permission okay? But you need to see a doctor,” Y/N explained to her.

“Okay,” she cried, holding onto Y/N’s hand for dear life as they walked towards the ambulance.

They loaded her up, Y/N sat down in the seat across from her and buckled in. “I know he called you Rosie, but what did your name or anything about who you are?”

“I don’t remember,” she cried.

“That’s okay, you don’t have to remember right now,” Y/N soothed her. “You’re going to be okay.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “We’ll find your family and you’ll get to go home. You’ll get a nice bed and soft clothes. Your family probably misses you so much, they’ll be very excited to see you.”

“Okay,” she smiled, slipping off to sleep.

At the hospital, the doctors and Garcia were able to match her to a missing child case from Milwaukee in 2004. Emma Carlton, then 9. She was taken from a schoolyard in the same town Peter Van Swank was pretending to be a school counsellor.

“How was he able to pull off all of this?” Y/N asked Garcia over the phone as Emma slept.

“I did some digging into all his previous identities, just to make sure we didn’t miss anything else and I found he had renovations approved by the City at his home in Omaha before he disappeared,” Garcia added. “So we are sending a SCSI team there now to make sure he didn’t do the renovations just to hide bodies.”

“So he’s a pedophile, a serial rapist, a child captor, and possibly a murderer too. Sick, can I play ‘how the fuck did he get away with this for so long?’ for $600?” Y/N felt the sarcasm seeping out of her body. She was so angry and didn’t have any way to get it out.

“Hey,” Garcia’s tone changed. “Are you okay?”

“I just finished my period,” she replied nonchalantly. “And my IUD expired so my hormones are nuts right now.” Remembering that she needed to call her doctor and switch to condoms as soon as they got back. “But I’m fine, it’s just seeing Emma like this you know? She’s just a little girl.”

“I know, but she has you right now to protect her and soon she’ll start to recover. But you call me if you need me. I know this one is a rough one.” Y/N could hear the smile in her voice.

“Thanks, Garcia.”

She hung up the phone and not 2 seconds later, Hotch called her.

“We got him to confess about Emma before we even told him that we found her. He seemed concerned for her?” Hotch explained.

“She is terrified of him. The doctors said she’s been horrifically abused and she’ll probably need to get a few bones re-broken so they can set them right,” Y/N shook her head, absolutely sick.

Hotch sighed, “he also said we’ll find 3 bodies under the deck at his wife’s house.”

“I fucking hate this guy,” Y/N couldn’t stop herself from replying.

“Me too,” he agreed. “Local PD is sending officers to relieve your duty with Emma. We’re flying back out in the morning.”

“I’m going to stay here till she wakes up, so she isn’t scared when I’m not here,” Y/N explained. “Will you let Spencer know?”

“Sure, be safe.” He hung up.

She sunk into her hospital chair and looked at Emma. She was so frail, her hair had been shaved off. She had cuts and burns and bruises all over her body and Y/N couldn’t stop herself from tearing up.

They were lucky she didn’t pick Van Swank up at the high school. She would have killed him for this.

“Y/N?” Emma asked.

“Hey,” she replied, getting up and standing beside her bed. She picked up her hand and held it. Using her other hand to rub her hair. Feeling the prickle of the buzzcut on her palm. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” she smiled softly. “Where’s my family?”

“Do you remember your name yet sweetheart?” Y/N asked.

“Emma, my mom is Sherry and we were at the park,” she whispered. “He had a puppy.”

“Your mom is on her way here now,” Y/N watched as Emma smiled up at her. “Officers are going to stand watch until she and a social worker get here. I’m going to leave my number here with you in case you want to call me when you’re settled at home, to let me know you’re safe.” Y/N hugged her softly. “you don’t have to be alone in recovery.”

“Thank you for saving me,” she whispered into the hug.

“I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

—

Back in the hotel room, she found Spencer reading. She gave him a quick kiss before going to the bathroom and changing for the night. Splashing water in her face and trying to shake the anxiety out before she settled in for the night.

She flopped into bed. Sighing as she settled against the pillows. Spencer looked down at her, “how is she?”

“As you’d expect.”

“Yeah,” he awkwardly pressed his lips together. “Do you want to talk? Or watch a movie?”

She took the book out of his hands, placing it on the table before sitting in his lap. She moved his hair out of his face and looked at his big brown eyes. He was tired, she could see it in his face but she wanted to feel something good.

“Can you show me how a real man is supposed to love a woman?” She asked.

He turned off the lamp beside them, kissing her neck immediately before laying her back against the bed. Doing exactly as she asked.

With every kiss to her skin, he accompanied it with praise. He was extra gentle as he helped her strip from her clothes. He asked permission every step of the way. She slipped away into their little bubble, forgetting about the world outside their hotel door.

She held him close as he rocked into her, “I love you,” Spencer reminded her. Saying it for the millionth time that night.

She smiled every time, believing him wholeheartedly.

chapter 12

Months of cases passed in the blink of an eye. Before she knew it, the BAU went from being her dream job to her family, all gathering to celebrate an early Canadian Thanksgiving dinner at Rossi’s house.

They just so happened to have the right weekend off in October, so they took the chance when they could.

Having Turkey and all the fixings, going around the table to thank each other for another safe year on the job, making Y/N cry alongside the always blubbering Penelope.

Y/N was sat in the living room after dinner, an 11-month-old Henry snuggled into her side as he made her read the same book over and over. JJ knew he’d be smitten with Uncle Spencer’s girlfriend, because whatever Spencer was doing, Henry had to copy.

She loved it, missing all the time she used to spend with her Niece back in Las Vegas. She let Henry snuggle in close, kissing the top of his messy blond hair.

Spencer, Will and JJ were in the kitchen behind them, she could hear them lightly talking to each other as Henry started to fall asleep on her.

“Are you thinking about kids yet?” JJ asked him just after Will excused himself to the bathroom.

“Always,” Spencer replied. “The day Y/N wants a baby, I’m ready. I never thought I’d get to be a dad.”

“You’re a fantastic uncle, I can’t wait to see a little Spencer.”

Y/N picked Henry up softly, resting his sleeping head against her shoulder. She walked into the kitchen, JJ placed her hand against her heart and swooned at the sight.

“Do you want me to carry him to your car?” Y/N asked.

“Please, Will’s in the bathroom before we go, here’s the keys,” JJ handed them to Spencer, “I’ll be out in a sec.”

Y/N slipped on her shoes, Spencer held the door for her and Henry. “You look good holding a baby,” he complimented her. “Do you ever think about having kids one day?” He asked softly.

“Sometimes,” she said as they reached the car, she waited for Spencer to open the door.

She laid Henry in his car seat and carefully buckled him in. Making sure it was nice and tight and his head was correctly secured.

She closed the door lightly and turned to Spencer, “having kids scares me.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t ensure that they’re safe and fine all the time. My parents were great and I love them but I look at all the shit that happened to me and how they barely know any of it, and I can’t bear the thought of our daughter getting hurt. Or our son being an abuser, god forbid,” she explained.

“I think that’s normal for a parent to feel,” Spencer replied. “Especially one that works in this field. Hotch and JJ both struggle to do this every day and go home to an innocent little boy who they want to protect.”

“I know, it’s just really anxiety-inducing for me right now.”

“What is?” Will asked in his calm southern accent as they approached the car.

“Babies,” Y/N pressed her lips together in an awkward smile.

“Same and then poof, Henry popped up,” JJ ran her hand over her belly. “It’s absolutely terrifying every moment of every day, but the love you experience makes up for it. If I didn’t have Henry in my life, I’d never know what it truly means to love someone so much you’d kill for them.”

“As you should,” Will laughed, knowing she’d kill for him too even if she didn’t say it.

“Well,” Y/N sighed, “you get that little sweetheart home and tomorrow tell him aunty Y/N had a wonderful time with him.”

“Of course,” JJ brought her in for a hug, saying goodbye for the night.

Y/N and Spencer walked back around to Rossi’s backyard where he, Emily, Derek and Penelope were still sitting around a gas fireplace. Everyone with kids had managed to sneak out.

Y/N sat in Spencer’s lap, he held her in his arms as she put her legs over the arm of the chair.

“Margs?” Penelope asked her and Spencer.

“Sure,” Y/N smiled, taking one from her.

“I have to drive,” Spencer said.

“Stay in the guest house tonight if you want to drink, I don’t mind,” Rossi offered, and Penelope put a glass in Spencer’s free hand.

It was so lovely having time off. Sure, they weren’t alone but Y/N basked in the warmth of the fire and the feeling of Spencer’s hand on her side. She pressed her head against his shoulder softly. Ignoring her margarita, feeling drunk on Spencer’s company.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too,” he kissed the top of her head.

“You guys are cute,” Penelope commented on their sweet moment. “I’m jealous.”

“why, baby girl?” Derek asked her, “come here.”

Penelope got up and jokingly sat in Derek’s lap. They pretended to be all loved-up on each other while the rest of them laughed. “Better now?” He asked.

“Totally,” her sarcasm overly noticeable.

The rest of the night was mostly the same, laughing at dumb jokes and teasing each other. The rest of them drank until 1 am, Y/N stopped after only one drink. She was exhausted by the time they finally broke apart to sleep in the different rooms of Rossi’s gigantic house.

Drunk Spencer wasn’t something that Y/N was used to, even after just 2 margaritas. He was giggly, handsy, and adorable as hell.

Y/N pushed him into the room after finally getting him up the stairs and away from Derek. If it was up to him, he would’ve been up all night telling everyone anything they wanted to hear.

“But-“ Spencer said as she started taking his shirt off in the non-sexy sense.

“Shut up,” Y/N laughed as she pulled the shirt off his arms. “Can you take your own pants off and get in bed, please?”

She watched him struggle out of his belt, “I’m going to get a glass of water for your night table. You better be in that bed when I come back, mister.”

“Doctor,” he corrected her as he tugged his jeans down.

She slipped out of the room and down the stairs to the kitchen. Filling a glass of water and taking a Tylenol from the bottle Prentiss left on the counter.

When she returned to the room Spencer was sitting under the cover’s watching the door, “wow, you listened.” Y/N was shocked.

She placed the pill in his hand and the water on his table, “it’ll make you feel better when you wake up.”

“I know how it works,” Spencer confirmed.

“I’m sure you do,” she laughed.

Y/N took her dress off, laying it over the chair in the corner of the room. She removed her bra and looked through the drawers in the room to see if Rossi had any shirts hidden away.

Sure enough, she found an abundance of old FBI Academy t-shirts in different sizes.

She crawled into bed beside Spencer and cuddled up to him. “Thank you,” she said as he settled against her.

“For what?”

“For asking if I wanted to meet your co-workers that day,” she felt oddly emotional. “Working for the BAU was such a far-off dream for me, I thought I’d be in VICAP for years before I even got considered for a position there. I don’t think I ever really thanked you for making my dreams come true.”

Spencer kissed her neck, “I just needed an excuse to see you all the time, and now you’re mine.” He wrapped his arms and legs around her so tight she had to tap out of his grasp.

It didn’t take them very long to fall asleep, finding a single position, huddled together in the middle of the bed. Just as fast as they fell asleep, it felt like they were being woken up.

Garcia knocked on their door at 8 the next morning, peeking her head in with Morgan just behind her. The two of them burst through the door and sitting on the end of their bed like kids on Christmas morning.

Spencer and Y/N groaned, hiding their faces in the pillows.

“We have a case, a pretty nasty one,” she announced.

“Hotch wants us at the plane in an hour, gives you enough time to race home and get back to Quantico,” Derek patted Spencer on the shoulder. “Come on Shaggy and Velma.”

Y/N sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. “I don’t have pants on, can we talk later?”

“Yeah, sure come on,” Penelope pushed Derek out of the room.

Spencer let out a deep sigh, “good morning, love.”

“Good morning,” she stretched with a yawn, “so much for sleeping in.”

—

Y/N and Spencer made it to the plane with 5 minutes to spare, they sat down together and immediately closed their eyes, settling into the chairs and taking a quick nap with Spencer’s head on her shoulder.

They slept through take-off, then Hotch startled them awake. “Yep,” they both sat up, pretending they weren’t just asleep.

“This is Linda Rivers and her daughter Amelia,” Hotch introduced everyone to the two extra people on the plane. “Amelia is going to sit in the back and listen to a movie with headphones while we discuss the case.”

JJ helped her do just that, sitting close by in case she needed anything.

“Linda came to the FBI at 6 am this morning insisting to speak with anyone who solves child rape cases,” Hotch explained. “Her ex-husband, Captain Rivers with Colorado PD, is in a ring of men who groom and prep their daughters for an annual child sex swap.”

“Excuse me?” Y/N sat up straighter, feeling sick.

“Amelia told me that her father had been touching her on her, parts,” the woman could barely say it. “I got her to explain it as we would with a student, I handed her a doll and asked her to demonstrate what her father asked her to do and I recorded it.”

Penelope sent the file to the in-flight computer, showing them a video of the same little girl in the back of the plane with JJ, only she was traumatized and explaining what her father did and said to her. Y/N hated every minute of it, feeling her body temperature change as she got angrier.

“She said it started last November. He was getting her ready to swap daughters with his buddies, I don’t know if it’s the whole police force or other members of the community. I’m already a cop’s ex-wife, I didn’t expect them to take me seriously. So I came to you.”

“You did the right thing,” Y/N comforted her.

“She only told me because she wanted to know if it would happen again this Christmas, and that’s when it hit me. There’s a father-daughter camping trip that the local dads do right before Christmas. One of the dads owns a golf course with cabins on the property. He said they’d be ice fishing on the lake and riding snowmobiles, but,” she started to turn a shade of green. “He brought her there to trade with his buddies and rape another mother’s child.”

“It made him easy for us to find, however,” Garcia cut into the icky situation with her digging. “Martin Rivers actually did pay to stay at that cabin on the weekend she is referring to. So did the 4 other fathers, and I’m guessing the owner, Barry Chapman, stayed there in the last free cabin as well.”

“I’ve invited a female child psychologist to help us interview the children, as well as a female pediatrician to do physicals on the girls. The Colorado Field Office is waiting for confirmation on the men’s names in order to bring them in.”

“Already sent, they’ll let us know when all 6 men are in custody,” Garcia confirmed.

“What area do you live in?” Y/N asked.

“Boulder,” Linda confirmed.

Y/N and Spencer looked at each other, immediately thinking about the JonBenét Ramsey case.

“You can go join Amelia,” Hotch smiled at Linda, “we’ll keep you filled in.” They watched her walk to the back of the plane, switching seats with JJ.

Y/N kept to herself for the remainder of the flight. Writing in her little book as she over-thought the situation. Recalling all the JBR case info from memory, trying to figure out why her brain wants to connect these cases so bad.

—

When they finally landed in Boulder, they sent Linda and her daughter on their way to the Field office in a different SUV than the team.

“Hotch, can I have a word with you when we arrive at the office?” Y/N asked as Hotch drove the SUV, she sat in the passenger seat beside him.

“Do you have an idea?” He asked, “you can say it here if you want.”

“JonBenét Ramsey was from Boulder, Colorado. She wet the bed that night she was murdered and the unsub was able to get in, and out, without it looking like a break-in took place. What if the fathers in this town have been secretly rotating through their daughters every Christmas?” Y/N hypothesized.

“Wetting the bed is a sign of molestation, if he was grooming her like Amelia said her father was, she might have known what was going to happen that night and resisted,” Morgan agreed. “We could be dealing with a community-wide pedophile ring.”

“I’ll make a call to Child Abduction Rapid Deployment, they have connections to everything we’d need to deal with a child sex ring,” Hotch confirmed. “This case is going to be a rough one.”

At the field office, Hotch introduced Dr. Peggy Greenwood and Dr. Anya Accardi to the team. Both women specialized in child sexual assault and were there to help to the best of their ability.

JJ and Y/N were on mom duty. While each of the girls had their physical exams and interview with the Doctors, it was their job to keep the mothers calm. One by one they walked them through the allegation and asked for their perspective of last year’s cabin trip.

All the moms were the same, they never expected that their husbands would ever be able to do something like this to their own child.

“They might not be,” Y/N said to almost every mother. “If they’re bringing all the girls, it’s to exchange them. They might not touch their own children, they just groom them into thinking it’s okay for their friends to touch them.”

Every time she explained that they cried. Which was completely reasonable. This was the worst thing a parent could think of for their child, and Y/N felt for them all.

JJ noticed her mood, she knew something was off. She waited till she was alone with Y/N to ask if she was okay.

“Me?” Y/N asked as if they weren’t the only 2 in the room.

“Yes,” JJ ran her hand along her back. “Are you doing okay?”

Y/N sighed. Taking a moment, “no.”

“Do you want to tell me yet?” JJ asked.

“No,” Y/N was honest, she didn’t know who to talk to yet.

Derek knocked on the door lightly, “hey.”

“I’m going to grab a drink, do you want anything?” JJ asked Y/N, she shook her head to say no and watched her squeeze past Morgan.

Morgan closed the door and sat down beside her, “day’s like today are tough.”

“You have no idea,” Y/N sighed again.

“Actually, I do,” he corrected her, staring into her eyes with truth and honesty. “I was molested by my mentor growing up, it went on for years until I moved away. We arrested him a few years ago but it’ll still always hurt.”

“No one believed me, and he was only 3 years older than me so no one really cared either,” Y/N explained.

“I’m sorry,” he soothed her. “If you want to take a step back, I get it. But these girls need what we didn’t get. Offer support and justice before the damage overwhelms them.”

Y/N nodded, she knew he was right. “What are we supposed to do now?”

“All the mothers are pressing charges against the fathers, this has officially become a case for the state to deal with. Local feds are taking the case and sending us home in the morning for an internal review,” Morgan explained.

“How internal?”

“The NSA has agreed to monitor Boulder for any other pedophile activity, they believe your theory that there is a long-running child sex ring in the area and they’re going to do everything in their power to find out who’s behind this.”

Y/N smiled lightly, “they should invest in more female psychologists to do interviews on all the girls all the way up to the high school to see who else has similar stories. I’d even go on the news asking any girl who has a story like this to come forward.”

“They’ve already had a few women in their 20’s come in saying it happened to them too when they were 8 to 12,” Morgan said. “They’re going to put a lot of bad guys behind bars.”

“Thank god.”

—

In the hotel that night, Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about a world where fathers subject their children to sex slavery. She had felt sick all day, her stomach swelling and making noises all night.

“The world is horrific,” Y/N didn’t realize she was crying as she looked up at Spencer.

He was sitting beside her, reading a book in complete silence while she laid down, staring at the ceiling. “Hmm?”

“Those little girls really thought it was normal for her father’s friends to have sex with them like it was just a weird game they had to endure. That was their normal. There are people all over the world whose lives are absolutely horrific and we have no way of knowing. And no way of helping?” She ranted.

“You help when you’re asked, whenever a case comes in I know you’re going to find a connection and save someone’s life.” He said softly. “You can only control what’s in front of you, and you do that perfectly every time. You may not be able to save everyone, but your impact on the world is life-changing for those who get to experience it.”

“Sorry, I’ve been emotional and annoyed and sick to my stomach all day,” she explained, rolling into his side and resting her head on his shoulder.

“You’re not pregnant right?” He attempted to make a light-hearted joke.

She sat up slowly. “It’s October.” She whispered.

“Yeah?”

She looked at him, terrified. She swallowed sharply but it never made it all the way down, she covered her mouth and ran to the bathroom.

chapter 13

Spencer held her hair and rubbed her back as she leaned over the toilet. She wiped her mouth with some toilet paper and flushed it before laying back against Spencer’s chest.

“I was supposed to call my doctor 2 months ago and change my IUD,” she admitted. “It expired September 3rd.”

“You had your period that week, then we were in Kansas,” Spencer confirmed.

“And I made a mental note to tell you that it expired and that we need to invest in condoms, but then that case got insane and we had sex… right after,” she recalled it all.

She rubbed her hands over her eyes, she couldn’t believe she forgot. “Fuck,” she was so mad at herself.

“I think JJ knew,” Spencer said. “I think that’s why she asked at Rossi’s if I was thinking about kids, you cried at the dinner toast. And you don’t ever cry at work.”

“She also asked if I was okay today and if I wanted to tell her, and I said no,” Y/N added, “I thought she meant if I wanted to explain why I was so triggered today.”

“She has a 6th sense for pregnancies,” Spencer chuckled to himself.

Y/N stood up slowly, “I’m going to go talk to her, I need to talk to someone who’s been pregnant right now.” She didn’t wait for his response, she just walked into the hallway.

JJ and Emily were sharing a room tonight. She took a deep breath and knocked on their door, hearing their laughter pause as JJ came to the door. “Hey,” she smiled.

“I think I’m pregnant.”

“Oh my god, come in.”

Y/N sat on the edge of JJ’s bed, both Emily and JJ in her face asking questions she couldn’t hear. Her whole world was frozen. Emily handed her a bottle of water and JJ ran her hand over her back lightly to calm her down.

“We support you in any decision you make,” JJ said.

“Okay.”

“We mean it,” Emily added. “JJ has had a kid, I’ve had an abortion. We can both help you, whatever path you choose.”

“I can’t believe I’m pregnant,” She repeated. Still in shock.

“Have you taken a test?” Emily asked.

“No.”

“Okay,” she said, slipping into her shoes and grabbing her wallet. “There’s a store across the street, I’m going to get a handful of tests.” Emily left the room and JJ didn’t say a word, she just rubbed her back.

“I need to go to the doctor, I need to get my IUD out before it hurts the baby, I wasn’t supposed to get pregnant,” Y/N worried. “I didn’t want kids yet.” She cried.

“It’s okay,” JJ tried her best to soothe her. “When we land in the morning I can drive you to the ER and we can get it removed.”

“Okay.” The shock was starting to settle and subside.

“You might not even be pregnant, this might just be another period coming, you never know,” JJ tried to calm her down.

“I’m pregnant,” she looked at JJ, tilting her head with a look. “You knew.”

“Your boobs changed,” she smiled. “And then you cried at dinner, and you felt sick on the plane, you’ve never been sick on the plane before. You also had a nap, and I know from experience that you’re exhausted right now.”

“Spencer’s going to be a dad,” she smiled, then she cried. She couldn’t believe it, she was going to be 29 in a few months and finally, she was going to be a mom.

JJ hugged her, “Henry is going to have a cousin!”

They were in a completely different mood when Emily returned, “I got like 12?” She panicked.

Y/N peed in a little plastic cup, letting her friends dip all 12 different tests in it. Laughing at the absurdity.

“Oh my god,” Y/N said quickly, “Penelope!”

“Shit,” JJ panicked then too, the both of them running down the hall and banging on her door.

Morgan answered, “What?!”

“Penny!” They panted, “we need you now!”

She grabbed her slippers and pink fuzzy housecoat and ran with them back to Emily and JJ’s room. “What?” She asked once they closed the door.

“I might be pregnant,” Y/N grabbed her hands and looked her in the eyes, absolutely ecstatic.

“Oh my god!!!” They all screamed and jumped around taking a moment to really just celebrate it.

“They’re ready!” Emily called from the bathroom.

Y//N stood there, taking a deep breath and staring at the 12 tests all placed face down. She went for the clear blue first, that one would be the most honest. She turned it slowly.

Pregnant + 3-5 weeks.

“Oh my god,” she whispered.

Everyone was quiet, waiting for her reaction before reacting themselves. Y/N quietly flipped a few more tests, seeing lines and plusses galore. She grabbed a handful of them and walked out of the room towards Spencer.

She walked into the room to see Derek, once again, sitting on the bed talking to Spencer this time. She handed him all the tests silently, tears falling down her face. She wasn’t sure if she was happy or just pregnant.

“Pregnant,” Spencer confirmed. “Are we happy?”

She nodded as she dove for his arms. Hugging him tightly while the rest of the team gathered in the hallway, clapping and cheering. She expected to get a noise complaint soon. She couldn’t stop crying and laughing, getting tears and snot all over the shoulder of Spencer’s shirt.

By the time she calmed down, everyone had gone back to their own bedrooms. Leaving Spencer and Y/N with 12 positive pregnancy tests, all alone. They were laying flat on their backs, staring up at the ceiling, hand in hand.

“I have to go to the ER in the morning to get my IUD removed,” was the first thing she said to him.

“Okay, I know the gynecologist there. I will call her and ask if she can do it, she’s really good.”

“And can you ask JJ about her OB? We need some recommendations,” she asked lightly.

“Of course.”

“How do you feel about the name Matthew Reid?” was her next question.

“Matthew Gideon Reid,” he corrected her.

“Yeah.” She smiled. “Matthew is another name for Levi, and he’s always been the best little brother.”

“Gideon was the first father figure I ever really had,” Spencer said softly. “So you think it’s a boy?”

“I don’t know, I just always wanted a boy named Matthew first,” she turned her head to smile at him.

“So you’re all in?” He asked.

She nodded with a soft smile, “raising a baby scares me, but raising your children is going to be the best thing I ever do.”

—

They landed back in Quantico around noon. Spencer drove Y/N directly to the hospital, calling in his personal favour beforehand. They arrived to find the on-call gynecologist waiting to take her up to the procedure room.

The removal went smoothly, but they wanted to keep her for the night to make sure she didn’t bleed or miscarry in the night. The doctors didn’t tell Spencer anything more.

Seeing as Y/N wasn’t awake yet and Spencer wasn’t her husband, they couldn’t tell him much. That made him even more scared.

Spencer wouldn’t let go of her hand. He barely slept, he just watched her sleep with teary eyes. He had never felt a love this strong. His heart was beating so hard and so fast he thought he was going to have a panic attack.

When he finally did let go of her hand, he stood up to go get something to drink, only to find Gideon standing in the doorway.

He rubbed his eyes, thinking this was surely the sleep deprivation. But he was still standing there, unamused as always. “I’m really here, kid.”

“Why?”

“Heard you fell in love and got a girl pregnant. Figured you needed a father to talk to,” he admitted.

Spencer walked over to him, hugging Gideon for the first time in a few years. “So, how are you doing?” Gideon asked as he guided Reid towards the cafeteria.

He took a deep breath, “scared.”

“So was I,” Gideon admitted. “However, unlike me, you’re not going to screw this up.”

“You don’t think?” He asked, genuinely seeking praise.

“No,” he shook his head. “It’s impossible for you to be a bad father, you’re so hyper-aware of wanting to be present for this kid because you never got enough time with your own father.”

“How did you know?” Spencer asked.

“Because my son is a father now too, and he loves his kids. He works short days so he can pick them up from school, he’s never missed a soccer game or said no to anything they’ve asked of him,” Gideon sounded proud but jealous. “And he won’t talk to me, those aren’t my grandchildren. I walked away when he needed a father, and he’s never going to do that to his children. Neither will you.”

“I’m more worried about what Y/N will do,” he admitted. “Her job is her dream, but her mother didn’t work until she was 12. I don’t think she’d want to take the time off, but I have a feeling she’ll beat herself up over it.”

“Are she and Jennifer close?”

“Very.”

Gideon raised his hands in a small cheer, “has she ever put Jennifer down or called her a bad mother for working?”

“No.”

“She’s a smart girl, clearly if she’s with you. You will make it through this, okay? You didn’t ruin her career by getting her pregnant,” he reassured him.

“Thank you, I really needed this,” Spencer smiled, pulling Gideon into a second hug. “Would you like to be the grandfather to my child, They're going to need one?”

Gideon had to bite his lip to stop himself from crying, “on one condition.”

“Anything,” Spencer replied quickly, tilting his head to the side wondering what it could possibly be.

Gideon handed him a set of keys. “The house I shared with my first wife,” he explained. “It’s been empty for years, all I have to do is sign the deed over and it’s yours. You need a nice home for my grandchild.”

Spencer was shocked, “are you sure?”

“It deserves to be filled with love and laughter,” Gideon smiled. “Take care of them.”

“Thank you.” Spencer hugged him tightly. “For everything.”

chapter 14

Y/N cried every time she woke up from surgeries, she didn’t know why but she did. Her body hated being forcefully put to sleep for long periods of time.

By the time she calmed down and was able to wake up fully, her doctor was arriving in the room to give her the results of the surgery.

“Hi, Y/N, I’m Doctor Fiona Ashbury. I removed your IUD.”

“Hi,” she sniffled. “Spencer is basically my husband, he can hear all of this.” She confirmed.

“Okay great,” she smiled. “So everything went well. Your baby is doing great and we estimate that you are around 5 weeks along now. The pregnancy was intrauterine and should make it to term. You should expect your little bundle of joy around June next year.”

Y/N smiled up at Spencer who was staring back down at her like she was the only one in the room, “how long till we can go home?” Spencer asked.

“The nurse is going to come and give you one last check-up before you’re discharged. I’ve included my personal card and all the info about my good OB friend. Seeing as this is your first little one I thought I’d help you find the best person in DC to help Dr. Reid.”

“Thank you,” Spencer said, looking at Dr. Ashbury. “Your father was one of the best professors at CalTech. Your recommendation means we can really trust her.”

“Of course, let me know if you need anything else. Congratulations again,” she smiled one last time before leaving.

Y/N waved as she left, “she’s lovely.”

“How are you feeling?” Spencer asked softly.

“Good, kinda feel a little pinch still in my uterus,” she complained.

“We’ll ask the nurse if that’s normal,” Spencer smiled. “but are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, “still really tired. Did you take the day off?”

“Hotch gave us 3 days, but he said we can add more. The 3 days is just so Strauss didn’t intervene,” he explained.

“Okay,” Y/N smiled before falling back asleep.

Spencer talked to the nurses on Y/N’s behalf after that, telling them she felt a pinching in her uterus, to which they said it was normal but Y/N had asked for no drugs to be administered. Pinching and bleeding were normal in the first trimester, no matter how scary it felt. He tried to remind himself of that.

Spencer tried his best to recall all the info he read when JJ first got pregnant, never wanting to be unprepared if anything happened to her in the field. Spencer stepped out into the room and saw Dr. Ashbury in the hall.

“Dr. Ashbury,” he said softly.

“Dr. Reid, how are they?”

“Good,” he smiled, “really good. Um, I was just wondering what kinds of vitamins and supplements I should pick up for her on the way home tonight?”

“The discharging nurse will have all that information in with the discharge papers, however,” she smiled at Spencer like he was a superhero. “It’s wonderful to see a partner take this much action so fast.”

“Thank you. I love her very much,” he made it clear.

“It’s very obvious you two are going to make beautiful kids,” she nodded slightly and walked towards the elevator.

—

Y/N was discharged later that night, Spencer pushed her down the hallways in a wheelchair, holding all her stuff in a bag over his shoulder. She could barely keep her eyes open as he brought her to the car.

“Can we stop at KFC?” she asked softly.

“What?” He laughed, thinking she was asleep the whole time he was driving.

“I want chicken tenders and fries with gravy, oh and they have really good potato salad,” she let her cravings run wild.

“You’re pregnant alright,” Spencer laughed, turning around in a parking lot and heading towards the nearest KFC.

He went through the drive-through, getting them both a late dinner. Y/N asked for a few of their frozen strawberry cheesecakes at the end of the order as well.

They ate in the parking lot, the car was turned off and the sun had completely set over the town. It was dark, they managed to park under the only street light in the KFC parking lot.

“This is perfect,” Y/N said as she all but stuffed the chicken tenders in her mouth. “The baby is so happy, you get a dad point.” She laughed.

“I’m going to collect dad points like PhD.'s,” Spencer replied, letting the sleep deprivation control the words that left his mouth.

“I’m so glad I didn’t wake up to them saying we were having twins,” Y/N admits, “when you said they wouldn’t tell you anything without my permission I thought, ah, fuck, it’s twins for sure.”

Spencer laughed. “Twins don’t run in my family and it’s normally hereditary. If you have twins in your immediate family, then you’ll be more at risk to have twins.”

“I know, my mom thinks I was supposed to be a twin cause she miscarried and then got pregnant way too close together. She said that her and my dad were giving up and then suddenly she was still pregnant with me,” Y/N explained. “I could’ve had a twin brother.”

“It happens a lot, mostly with twin absorption. However losing one embryo and keeping the other would make a lot of sense,” Spencer said as he continued to eat his chicken tenders.

“When should we tell them?” Y/N asked.

“Our parents? Most women wait till the second trimester to tell their friends and family. You reach the second trimester in 7 weeks,” Spencer already knew everything and it made her smile.

“What else do you know?”

“Right now our baby has a tail,” he laughed. “It’s still just a small sack of cells, the embryo is starting to develop its spinal cord and brain, running from the head to the rump. It’s roughly the size of an orange seed and you’re finally developing your placenta which will ensure that the baby sticks to the uterine wall and that they receive all the proper nutrients.”

“So, when will we hear the heartbeat?” she asked, impressed with how much he knew already.

“The first system to be operational is the circulatory system, When you're 5 weeks pregnant, the baby's heart is made up of two tiny channels called heart tubes and they're already hard at work. When those tubes fuse together, our baby will have a fully functioning heart, so probably by the end of next week?” He hypothesized.

“Can you believe that we made a human?” She asked, looking at him with absolute wonder. “All we did was have sex and suddenly we made a whole life.”

“It’s amazing,” Spencer agreed. “I’m just not excited to be changing your cat litter for the next 35 weeks.”

“You get to scoop up cat shit, and I get to hope that she doesn’t rip me a new asshole on the way out. You know, totally comparable,” she teased him.

“She?” Spencer asked.

Y/N blushed, “I don’t know, I had a dream in there that we had a little girl.”

“My mom always said she’d have a granddaughter first, and she’s never wrong.” Spencer’s smile was her absolute favourite. His teeth were perfect and he always looked so, so happy.

“What girl names do you like?” She asked him softly.

“I’d like for Diana to be one of her names.” He said. “I also like Marigold.”

“MD would be her initials,” Y/N pointed out, “she’d be the other half to your Ph.D.”

His laugh was perfect, he was so insanely happy and tired that he was a giggling mess. They finished their dinner, threw out their garbage and drove home finally.

Her bed had never felt softer. She laid down and basically passed out. Buddy jumped up beside her and buzzed around her belly, laying down directly on her stomach and kneading her with his paws.

Spencer crawled in beside them, kissing her belly and then her lips. “I love you both.”

“We love you, more.”

chapter 15

Her first baby appointment just so happened to be on Spencer’s birthday. Only thing was, Y/N forgot all about his birthday in all the crazy anticipation of seeing their baby for the first time.

Penelope, however, didn’t forget a birthday. ever.

They were in the OB waiting room when she got a text detailing a party at Rossi’s that Y/N was supposed to keep hidden from Spencer. Her only job was to get him to Rossi’s house at 8 pm.

“Oh my god,” she whispered to herself as she read the text.

“What?” Spencer asked, trying to read over her shoulder before she quickly locked her phone and turned it upside down.

She turned to him, trying to hold in tears but her pregnant brain had other thoughts. “I forgot your birthday today, I almost went through the entire day without wishing you a happy birthday,” she whispered.

“It’s okay,” he laughed, rubbing his hand down her back. “Being a dad is the best present I could get.”

She laughed as she wiped the tears from her eyes. “You know, I always knew your birthday and I’d remember it every year. I would always sit up and wish I could tell you happy birthday. Then, of course, the year I see you again I forget it.”

“Funny how the world works,” Spencer smiled.

The office was tiny. JJ had recommended this OB to them, saying she was wonderful, like having a friend in the room with you. That was just the type of intimacy that Y/N wanted when bringing a baby into the world.

“Y/L/N,” the receptionist called her name as she walked into the lobby. “We’re ready for you.”

They got up and followed the woman into the back office. She was handed a gown and told to take her clothes off and get on a table, she would be seen shortly by a doctor, and that’s when it all really hit her.

She was going to have an ultrasound, and she was going to see her baby for the first time.

She didn’t mind changing in front of Spencer, she took off her dress and draped the gown over her body before sitting on the crinkly papered bed. She hated every second of the noise the paper made against her body as she tried to get comfortable in such a compromising position.

Spencer sat down in the chair beside her. She couldn’t help herself from looking around the room. Paying attention to anything else to keep her anxiety at bay.

The walls were a nice shade of pink. Much more calming than the hospital blues and greys. There weren’t any posters about lumps or diseases, nothing about the damage smoking could do or other images of ruined organs.

All she saw were baby photos all over the walls. All belonging to women who chose these OBGYN’s to deliver their children. Every baby was so different, some cute, some absolutely adorable.

Then she saw Henry. He was wrapped up all tight in a blue blanket and the smallest little hat ever. He was in JJ’s arms, her swollen cheeks smiling wide as she showed off the biggest love of her life.

“One day our baby will be on that wall,” she said to herself, letting the facts sink in.

“Yeah,” Spencer smiled at her like she was the sun and it was his job to just orbit her for the rest of time.

“Good afternoon,” the doctor said as she walked in. “According to Jennifer, I’ve been tasked with bringing the next Steven Hawking into the world?”

Y/N laughed, “as long as he’s healthy, I don’t care what his IQ is.”

“I do,” Spencer joked. “It’s nice to meet you Doctor Korrapati, we’ve heard wonderful things about you.”

“As have I,” she smiled, sitting down on the little rolling stool at the foot of Y/N’s bed. “I read in your chart that your last period was September 3rd, meaning you’re most likely due June 10th... putting you at 8 weeks as of tomorrow.”

“Yep, that sounds about right,” Y/N confirmed. “Are we going to be able to hear the heartbeat today?”

“I don’t think so, but there’s always a possibility,” she smiled. “Have you ever had an internal ultrasound?”

“No,” she shook her head.

“Alright, well it shouldn’t be that weird for you just a little uncomfortable,” she explained as she picked up the wand and slathered it in lube.

Y/N looked over at Spencer with wide eyes, it was gigantic. He squeezed her hand a little tighter and winked at her. Letting her know that everything was fine.

It was uncomfortable, she felt it in angles she had never thought existed down there. Dr. Korrapati kept the screen facing away at first. Rolling the little ball on the cart around and typing in everything she saw.

“We’re measuring right at 8 weeks,” she said as she turned the screen to Y/N and Spencer. “This,” she pointed. “Is your little human.”

It looked like a jelly bean, the tail was shrinking as the limbs were starting to look more prominent. “Here you can see the ears are starting to grow, and if you look closely we might even see some little fingers and toes in the webbing.”

Y/N cried, “he’s so cute.”

Dr. Korrapati smiled, “we won’t know the sex for a while yet. Unless you’d like to run genetic testing next week?”

“How do they do that?” Y/N asked.

“NIPT or non-invasive prenatal testing is a simple blood test. Inside your blood is not only your maternal DNA but also fetal DNA. We can check for down syndrome, trisomy 18 and a handful of other chromosomal abnormalities. Another benefit is we’ll know the chromosomal sex of the baby,” Dr. Korrapati explained softly. “It can be done in week 9 and the results take up to 10 days.”

She nodded along as she listened, it would be nice to know what’s going on with her baby on a more scientific level rather than just looking at an ultrasound and guessing. “I can stop by during lunch next week and do the test.”

She printed off a dozen photos of the baby, leaving Y/N with a warm hand towel to clean up and change back into her clothes. But as soon as she left the room, Y/N and Spencer just sat there, staring at the photos of their baby.

“You’re not scared to know if something is wrong with the baby?” Spencer asked softly.

“No, I’ve always held the belief that if you want kids you better love whatever child you bring into this world. If something comes up positive on the test it doesn’t mean something is wrong with the baby, it just means we’re going to have a different experience raising our child than someone else’s,” she explained, feeling more passionate than she thought she would.

“That’s a beautiful way of looking at it,” Spencer kissed her on the cheek. “You’re going to be a great mom.”

“You’re going to be a great dad, birthday boy,” she smiled up at him. “Let’s go get some dinner, just the three of us.”

“I’d love to.”

All she wanted lately was a chicken caesar salad. She had been eating mostly salads for her daily nutrients, but there was something about the dressing, and the bacon and the croutons that made it feel like her tongue was having an orgasm.

They weren’t kidding when they said pregnancy cravings hit different.

Spencer and JJ had explained almost every aspect of pregnancy in agonizing detail to her over the last few weeks. She now knew that the reason she felt sick all day was because her uterus was the size of a small bowling ball and her digestive tract couldn’t handle big meals anymore.

Garcia took it upon herself to fill her mini fridge with lots of snacks (all high in fibre and calcium), greens in the form of salads and juices, and Kit Kats for her sweet tooth. Who knew getting pregnant meant getting pampered all day as well?

She stuck to lots of snacks throughout the day, skipping big meals to avoid the sick feeling in her throat from lingering all day long.

On the rare occasion that she did eat a lot, like on her boyfriend’s birthday, it made her belly look even bigger than it really was. She sat in the driver’s seat on the way to Rossi’s, having to push her seat back a little so that she could fit behind the wheel properly.

“Where are we going?” Spencer asked.

“I was thinking we could take a look at properties over here. We’re going to need a place with more than one bedroom in 32 weeks,” she reminded him, lying to get his attention away from the road to Rossi’s.

“You’d rather live in the country?” He asked.

She shrugged, “I’d like something bigger without having to pay a lot. We can get a house with 3 bedrooms for a quarter of the price if we leave the city.”

“It would be closer to work,” he agreed. “Turn down this road here, there’s a place for sale that I’ve always liked.”

She followed his direction, following the gravel road into the darkness. At the very end of the road, there was a house, big and beautiful. Tall pillars wrapped in ivy, dark brick, big windows. The outside lights were on, but it was clear no one lived there currently.

She pulled into the driveway and the two of them got out to walk around the grounds. Around the back, there was a huge backyard. The patio was a lot like Rossi’s only it was covered by a roof with lights.

The back entrance was beautiful, the painted green metal and glass framing the kitchen beautifully against the brick. She peeked inside, pressing her nose against the glass. Marble countertops, green cabinets, the most beautiful backsplash she had ever seen.

“It looks like no one has touched it since the ’80s,” she whispered.

“It has 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. It’s an entirely open concept downstairs, the office space is my favourite. There’s a wall of old wooden bookshelves that would probably hold my collection,” Spencer explained.

“But how much would this place be? It’s definitely up in the 7 to 8 hundred thousand range,” she said, her voice muffled against the glass as she kept staring at the kitchen.

Spencer handed her a set of keys. “Don’t worry about that.”

She held the keys in her hand, noticing that the keyring also had a ring on it. “What is this?” She turned to him, holding it in shock. They were standing in the dark in a backyard she didn’t know, it was unreal.

“Gideon came to see me when you were in the hospital,” he explained.

“Like... the godfather of the BAU? And your honorary dad? He saw me in the hospital? Why didn’t you tell me?” Y/N asked, feeling like the whole situation was beyond comprehensible.

“I think JJ called him, he knew I’d need someone to talk to because I couldn’t call my dad.”

“And he just gave you the keys to this house?”

Spencer nodded. “It was his house with his first wife. He said it deserved to be filled with love and laughter. I didn’t tell you right away because we were busy signing all the paperwork and insuring it. I also had internet and an alarm system put in so you’d feel safer.”

“Spencer, this is all too much.” She kept moving the key around in her hand, looking at the ring that was attached to it.

She slowly took it off the keyring, twisting it around the metal before taking a closer look at it. The silver band glistened under the yard light. The green stone shimmered to high heavens, taking the attention away from the pearl that accompanied it.

It was beautiful.

“The green stone is because I know how much you love the colour, and the pearl is the baby’s birthstone. Let’s just hope they actually come in June otherwise that’ll be awkward,” he smiled.

“Are you asking me to marry you, Doctor Reid?”

He took the ring from her hands and got down on one knee. “I know you said you’d only agree if we felt exactly the same after a year, but I don’t think we’ll ever feel the same we did that day. Every day I spend with you I discover that love runs deeper than I ever thought possible. It’s never-ending with you. I’m never going to feel the same way about you 2 days in a row, I’m always going to love you more and more.”

She couldn’t stop crying. “I just wanted to stall you before taking you to your birthday party!” is all she was able to say, making Spencer laugh.

He got back up to his feet and wrapped her up in a tight hug. “Which is why I thought this is the best time to surprise you.”

She held onto him tightly. “Okay,” She whispered. “I’ll marry you.”

He pulled back to look at her, holding her face in his hands as he leaned in for a kiss. Breathing her in like he never wanted to separate from her.

When he did, however, he placed the ring on her finger before kissing her knuckles. “Let’s go to that party.”

“What about the house?” She asked, looping her arm around his as they walked back to the car.

“We can come tomorrow when the sun is up, then you can really tell me how you feel about it.”

—

She tried her best to fix her mascara in the car, not wanting the team to see that she had been crying. They were running late and Penelope kept texting her, but she didn’t care. She quietly sat beside Spencer as he drove to Rossi’s, giving her a chance to stare at the ring.

Her life was completely different now than it was when she woke up. She went to bed not really believing she was pregnant yet, only to wake up and see her baby, get engaged and be handed keys to a house. It felt fake, impossible and completely overwhelming.

They pulled into Rossi’s driveway around 8:30, slowly making their way to the backyard where the party had already started.

“There he is!” Morgan cheered, causing everyone to turn towards the door and yell happy birthday at him.

Penelope quickly placed a golden hat on his hand and covered him in gold streamers. “Happy golden birthday to our golden boy!”

“28 on the 28th,” he smiled, fixing the hat with his free hand. “I’m also going to be a dad!” He announced to everyone, who already knew.

They all cheered again, giving them both a million hugs and high fives. “What’s this?” JJ asked, holding Y/N’s hand up.

“A ring?” Y/N replied, biting her lip so she didn’t laugh at her own sarcasm.

“Oh my god!” Penelope cheered, “so much is going on I need to sit down.”

“Me too,” Y/N laughed, rubbing her dress down over her belly to show how much it was sticking out. “I’m so overwhelmed.”

“Come on,” JJ walked her to the patio table. “How was your appointment?”

“Good,” she smiled, everyone followed and sat around the table. “I love our OB.”

“Pravina is wonderful,” JJ agreed. “Did you get any photos?”

“Here,” Spencer dug them from his pocket and placed them on the table, everyone took a copy.

“He’s got your big brain alright,” Morgan laughed.

“One can only hope,” Rossi chimed in. “This child is going to be a natural-born profiler.”

Y/N was so overwhelmed, she zoned out while everyone talked about their possible genius baby. They made bets on when they’d be born as well as how big they’d be, just normal workplace betting.

“You okay?” JJ asked softly. “Do you want to go talk?”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” she smiled, standing up with her, smiling at Spencer as she walked away.

They were quiet for a bit, walking around the side of the house towards a gazebo by the lake. It was chilly, they could hear the birds communicating on the water and the wind blowing through the trees.

“Gideon gave Spencer that house over there.” She pointed.

JJ’s mouth fell open, “you’re kidding?”

She shook her head. “How hard is it to be a mom and work for the FBI?”

JJ just smiled at her. “Hard. But it’s worth it.”

“How do you do it?”

“Luckily, Will really enjoys being a stay-at-home dad,” she said, shrugging. “But it does put a big strain on things. He has needs, he has goals and ambitions and sometimes I can’t always help him with those. But we love each other and we love Henry, and we make it work.”

“I know I’ll want to come back too soon,” she admitted.

“That doesn’t make you a bad mother. You’re allowed to have a life, as long as you go home and you put all your love and energy into them,” JJ reassured her.

Y/N hugged her softly. “You have to promise me something.”

“Anything?” JJ replied, brushing her hair with her fingers while they hugged.

“If anything happens to me you won’t let Spencer spiral,” she pulled back. “I doubt anything will happen, but if it does he needs to be a dad still, and I need you to remind him for me that I’ll never think he’s a bad dad for having a hard time dealing with it. I just need him to be there for our kid.”

“Of course,” JJ replied.

“You’re the only one who gets it,” she explained, pressing her lips together into a soft smile. “I’m sorry if this is too much but it’s been on my mind for the last few weeks.”

“It’s okay, I made Spencer promise to do the same for Will if I die,” JJ smiled right back. “We’ll be okay.”

“Thank you,” Y/N hugged her again.

“Let’s go see if that baby daddy of yours wants to dance,” she changed the topic to a more cheery one, escorting Y/N back to the party.

[t34z]

do you remember?

"hey, do you remember back before this all began? remember when it really was all just a game?"

short second person blaseball fanfic reminiscing on the events of season twenty-four at the end of the world.

written for the end by a guy who's kind of just fucking around.

edit: this is also on ao3 now if you want to read it there or something

"hey, do you remember back before this all began? remember when it really was all just a game?" you still remember it clear as day. you remember stepping out on the field for the first time. season one, day one. the air was warm, the sky clear. the only concern on your mind was whether or not you'd win the game. you could never have guessed how much you'd come to treasure that memory. you stare into the distance. you can see darkness creeping forward, far enough away it hardly looks like it's moving at all. you remember the first eclipse. you remember when people started dying left and right. you remember when the shelled one was the worst threat you've ever known. it felt like the end of the world. if only you knew what was to come. you remember Her taking over. you remember the floods, the consumers, the countless suns, the semi-centennial. you remember everything that lead us here. season twenty-four had kicked off with the death of the kansas city breath mints. with the firewalker out of the vault, of course you expected someone to die. but this death had nothing to do with macmillan. under the brilliant light of something entirely unseen, the breath mints were reduced to ash. a beautiful light we all would come to know well. next were the fridays. welcoming macmillan with open arms, they accepted their fate. underneath the multicolored glow of the supernova eclipse, they too went up in flames. no other teams were incinerated, but now you wonder how much that truly matters. you remember the commissioner taking the microphone. you remember the moist talkers going to the hall. you remember the sunbeams going to the desert, rendered entirely nameless in the process. you remember the readers plan. you remember the sunbeams rushing at the Boss, scattering Her. you remember everyone being let out of the hall. you remember the death of the Boss. through all this, the black hole (black hole) began nullifying things, one by one. at first it felt almost insignificant with everything else going on. that is, until the pies scored one too many runs. that day, the pies were unceremoniously ripped from existence. the black hole (black hole) began to expand, quite rapidly at that. everyone near it was nullified as well. we ran for safety. and that leads us to today, watching the darkness in the distance come nearer as the event horizon expands, nullifying all in its wake. everything is oddly calm. the panic has subsided, the acceptance setting in. of course, you're still terrified, we all are, but what else is new? "of course i remember." i reach for your hand. we don't know what's going to happen. no one does. you rest your head on my shoulder. "i'm going to miss you." i glance at you, then back at the horizon. it's closer now. we can see everything being lifted up and away in the distance. we've done all there is to do, so here we are, watching the end of the world, side by side. i don't know what's going to happen to me, and i don't know what's going to happen to you. but whatever happens, i'm glad we're going through it together. and now, it's over. the credits are rolling. your hand in mine, we watch as the world begins to disintegrate. goodbye. i love you.