#and then when i'm super low i try all the generic ''self care'' rules knowing full well they don't fuckin work on me bc i am just Desperate

[yardsards]

[aspd-culture]

Hey think I might have ASPD but I don't know for sure could you help me out? If not it's totally cool. I don't I feel guilt or remorse for my actions and I break rules alot, when I have the motivation to do stuff (But I do have like this extreme like Panic Attack sort of thing when I think people are going to hate me for breaking the rules and I'm going to get in trouble with them or ruin my reputation only when I think they'll find out though [even then only sometimes othertimes I just don't care so idk]) I disregard others boundaries (I used to be way worse, I think I can't remember alot of that stuff) and can get kinda rough with people physically when I'm irritated at them (This is more recent I've always been more verbally aggressive) and I think I might disregard my safety by putting myself in situations where I could get hurt but not caring. Aside from like two people I only care about people if they can give me something want and even with those two people I have to constantly remind myself of them so I don't forget they exist or disregard their boundaries. I'm almost always either kinda angry or bored (? [I have trouble recognising my emotions]) except when I'm around those two people or people I'm getting something from. If I go against my own morals I don't exactly feel guilty but more like I've lost my whole sense of self and I freeze up in a distress until I figure things out (might be an Autism thing). Anyways sorry if this ask makes no sense feel free to delete it.

No worries, this ask is actually super coherent and covers a good portion of the diagnostic criteria, which can help me point you in the right direction. However, please note I am not a medical professional, and even if I was I am not your personal professional, so I am unable to diagnose you. I can let you know what I think as someone with ASPD though!

Going by all the symptoms you pointed out here, I think you hit quite a few marks for ASPD criteria, and reading this very much reminds me of something I might have written a few years ago trying to describe myself.

One thing I want to make sure you know is that things like guilt are terms with specific definitions in the context of ASPD, but neurotypical people often refuse to define them for us since they think it's obvious, making it so we can't tell if we experience it or not. I on the other hand do my best to define it the way professionals have explained it to me.

Remorse/guilt in the context of ASPD refers to an instinct-based "bad" feeling, usually something similar to anxiety mixed with a low self-esteem spiral. This feeling typically occurs whenever you have done anything "wrong" - aka outside of social codes, moral codes, legal codes, or being generally disrespectful/insubordinate. This typically happens regardless of the chance of consequences or even getting caught at all. People without low remorse will feel this even when they know they have 100% gotten away with whatever it was, often even if they are in the right.

Fear of consequences, injuries to reputation, etc are generally not included in the definition of "remorse" professionals are using here. It is feeling bad exclusively because you did something "bad", and usually feeling an insistent desire to apologize or make ammends for (as opposed to covering up) whatever has been done.

Many pwASPD still have their own personal code of things they believe are right and wrong to do, and may feel a blow to their self esteem if they break that, but if it is a thing of "I broke my own rules" or "I might get in trouble" vs "I hurt somebody" or "I did something wrong", then it's in a gray area most professionals won't count as remorse.

It sounds to me like the "remorse" you're feeling may be more of an anxiety or trauma response to getting caught/in trouble, which is very common in pwASPD as caregivers usually try and overcorrect with fear to get us to behave. This may mimic remorse outwardly, which is why they do it, but internally as you mentioned it is not the same.

I would definitely recommend doing more research on ASPD, as it does seem you have many symptoms of it, and if at all possible talk to a mental health professional.

Plain text below the cut:

No worries, this ask is actually super coherent and covers a good portion of the diagnostic criteria, which can help me point you in the right direction. However, please note I am not a medical professional, and even if I was I am not your personal professional, so I am unable to diagnose you. I can let you know what I think as someone with ASPD though!

Going by all the symptoms you pointed out here, I think you hit quite a few marks for ASPD criteria, and reading this very much reminds me of something I might have written a few years ago trying to describe myself.

One thing I want to make sure you know is that things like guilt are terms with specific definitions in the context of ASPD, but neurotypical people often refuse to define them for us since they think it's obvious, making it so we can't tell if we experience it or not. I on the other hand do my best to define it the way professionals have explained it to me.

Remorse/guilt in the context of ASPD refers to an instinct-based "bad" feeling, usually something similar to anxiety mixed with a low self-esteem spiral. This feeling typically occurs whenever you have done anything "wrong" - aka outside of social codes, moral codes, legal codes, or being generally disrespectful/insubordinate. This typically happens regardless of the chance of consequences or even getting caught at all. People without low remorse will feel this even when they know they have 100% gotten away with whatever it was, often even if they are in the right.

Fear of consequences, injuries to reputation, etc are generally not included in the definition of "remorse" professionals are using here. It is feeling bad exclusively because you did something "bad", and usually feeling an insistent desire to apologize or make ammends for (as opposed to covering up) whatever has been done.

Many pwASPD still have their own personal code of things they believe are right and wrong to do, and may feel a blow to their self esteem if they break that, but if it is a thing of "I broke my own rules" or "I might get in trouble" vs "I hurt somebody" or "I did something wrong", then it's in a gray area most professionals won't count as remorse.

It sounds to me like the "remorse" you're feeling may be more of an anxiety or trauma response to getting caught/in trouble, which is very common in pwASPD as caregivers usually try and overcorrect with fear to get us to behave. This may mimic remorse outwardly, which is why they do it, but internally as you mentioned it is not the same.

I would definitely recommend doing more research on ASPD, as it does seem you have many symptoms of it, and if at all possible talk to a mental health professional.

[curioskitty]

THE・Rarest Bakugou

Given Bakugou-kun's description as a "juvenile delinquent" (Horikoshi sensei uses the term 不良少年, or furyou shounen, meaning juvenile delinquent boy), it's expected that he wouldn't conform to standard. So obviously, it's not possible to find Bakugou-kun wearing a tie properly................

What is up with this perfectly tied nonsense right here?!

Bakugou-kun, I thought I knew you!!! THE LIES! THE BETRAYAL!!!

But, it's probably just a fluke. You didn't mean it, right Horikoshi-sensei?

WTF?! WHY?!!! Horikoshi-sensei?!

Yep. Contrary to expectations, Bakugou-kun wearing a tie correctly only ranks at Ultra Rare status: difficult to find, but not impossible.

So, what's rarer than a tie-wearing Bakugou-kun? Go Beyond, Plus Ultra Rare Bakugou!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

In fact, it's even harder to find Bakugou-kun wearing a tie improperly. Given proto-Bakugou's loose tie design, I would have expected that to be the likelier delinquent-esque tie option. But I've only seen Horikoshi-sensei draw him like this once:

(Horikoshi-sensei's one year celebration illustration. This is still fairly early in the publication.)

On top of that, Bakugou-kun consistently wears his uniform tie-less and with at least one button undone on his shirt collar. His pants are always slung low on his hips and legs bunching up at his feet (except when he had to wear jeans for Best Jeanist). You can even see panels where Horikoshi-sensei drew in the rips at the hems near the heel where they drag on the ground.

So why the inconsistency, Horikoshi-sensei? I see you over there, stop pretending you didn't notice. I know you're paying attention.

Horikoshi-sensei gave proto-Bakugou a loosened tie, so what is the reasoning for taking Bakugou-kun's tie away?

Some No-Tie Theories

Fan Theory #1: HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW

//Like Midoriya-kun, Bakugou-kun came from a middle school with gakuran uniforms. They never learned how to tie them. Midoriya-kun messes up his tie, while Bakugou-kun doesn't even bother to try.//

I actually think this is the least likely reason. Bakugou-kun was designed to be a naturally talented genius. I think this applies to anything he wants to do. If he does something, it's always perfectly done.

Bakugou-kun can (and does if you look above) tie it perfectly when necessary.

CONCLUSION: If Bakugou-kun doesn't do something, it's completely out of personal preference or because he doesn't see a reason to.

Fan Theory #2: REBELLIOUS NATURE

//Bakugou-kun is a delinquent and maintains that image because he thinks it looks cool. Or maybe he is rebelling against fashion designer parents. Either way, because of his family background he knows how to tie a tie, but wants to be a rebel.//

I'd give partial points for this one. I'm pretty sure he wears his pants loose at least partially because he thinks it looks cool. However, Bakugou-kun's parents were noted to be designers and not specifically fashion designers.

Despite appearances, this is the kid that sleeps at 8:30pm, doesn't break school rules, and yells at his friends for smoking.

He zips up the collar on his gym track suit all the way. Both the summer and winter versions get the same treatment. He doesn't feel the need to "make a statement" by wearing his track uniform incorrectly. Outside of class, he can and does sometimes wear his track jacket unzipped, but during class he always wears it properly.

So then why does Bakugou-kun refuse to wear the band T-shirt and Christmas party Santa outfit? Because he isn't cooperative. In Ultra Analysis, his Cooperativeness Stat was the lowest rank: E.

CONCLUSION: Bakugou-kun may be non-conformist and uncooperative, but he isn't a rebel.

Fan Theory #3: TRAUMA/PTSD

//This is one of the more popular theories. Between Dabi grabbing his neck, the Sludge Villain and being restrained at the School Festival, our boy has been through the wringer. As a result, he just doesn't like stuff around his neck because it gives him anxiety.//

The Western Fandom is definitely concerned about the mental health of the kids. But I don't actually think this is the reason. Not that I don't think they all need some therapy and self care, especially right now, but there just isn't evidence for this specific trauma in Bakugou-kun.

He wears scarves and even turtle necks without a problem.

On top of that, Bakugou-kun ALSO unbuttoned the top button of his shirt and gakuran in middle school; even from before the Sludge Villain incident. There isn't any evidence Bakugou-kun changed his dressing habits due to trauma. He wore a scarf to the entrance exam for UA, too.

CONCLUSION: Bakugou-kun has ALWAYS worn his shirts with the top button unbuttoned.

These 3 theories are inadequate, too. Even if they did explain the reasons Bakugou-kun doesn't wear a uniform tie, they don't factor in the reasoning for why he DOES wear his other ties properly sometimes.

HC#1: Bakugou-kun's preference

Bakugou-kun doesn't seem to care about his image and how "extras" see him. Even during the press interviews after his hero debut, he wore the same style of open collar look. He's not shy about being nude or taking his shirt off.

But what he hates is being uncomfortable.

He is "explosively brawny". Just look at how thick Bakugou-kun's neck is when compared to Midoriya-kun's. It isn't just that Midoriya-kun is supposed to be scrawny, but also that Bakugou-kun has a thicker than average neck.

Bakugou-kun doesn't like to button up his shirts all the way because it's uncomfortable. It's reasonable that he zips his track suit and everything else up because those are looser at the neck or made of stretchier materials.

As for why he doesn't wear the uniform tie at all... Don't forget Bakugou-kun is a perfectionist and a bit of a neat freak.

He always tucks his shirt in. For the band performance he wore a collared black dress shirt. From what we saw of his room, it's minimalist and clean. I don't see him wanting to look like a slob.

A sloppy loose tie would probably irritate him more than just not wearing it (which is even funnier when you think about Midoriya-kun's chonk tie. It probably makes him want to strangle Midoriya-kun, or maybe just tie it himself...)

Bakugou-kun has difficulties compromising when it comes to his high standards. So if he has to wear it, it's going to be either 0% or 100%.

HC#2: Explosiveness

Why draw Bakugou-kun with either 0% tie or 100% tie? If Horikoshi-sensei is going for a delinquent image, wouldn't the 50% tie option make more sense?

Taking a look again at Bakugou-kun's profile page, Horikoshi-sensei describes him to be explosive in every way. That includes his whole body being "explosively brawny", but also adds a note that he looks slender in clothes.

Horikoshi-sensei put an effort to make every element of Bakugou-kun's character in some state of either fully compressed or explosive.

His slimming clothes, general appearance and even his speech patterns are highly compressed (blunt/terse) and loud. The extremes of his attitude are compressed too; if Bakugou-kun is not loudly raging, then he's quietly observing.

This contrast is key to his character. You can't explode if you aren't compressed first. It's supposed to be shocking to see how brawny he actually is under his slenderizing clothes. And I always feel shocked whenever I see this kid compressed into a tie.

HC#3: Deku & Kacchan

These two are set apart from the class by design and very much on purpose. Horikoshi-sensei designed them to be at opposite ends of the same spectrum.

If Bakugou-kun has muscular arms, then Midoriya-kun needs muscular legs. If Midoriya-kun buttons up his shirt all the way to the collar, then Bakugou-kun's collar has to be loose. Their designs reflect their connection.

So if Midoriya-kun has a poorly tied tie, the opposite of that is either non-existant or perfectly tied. If it's perfectly tied, he'd just blend in with the class.

The no-tie option just makes more sense.

Plus Ultra Rare Bakugou

Horikoshi-sensei only ever draws Bakugou-kun with a tie in specific scenarios. Costume events that require the neck tie as part of the costume or "fancy" events where everyone is in formal wear. And even in those, Bakugou-kun manages to not wear his tie 90% of the time.

So, I just imagine that when Horikoshi-sensei makes Bakugou-kun wear his tie, he's super grumpy! Just look at his face in every illustration he's wearing a tie in. He's probably hot, uncomfortable, and really not enjoying himself at all.

Ultimately, the "Plus Ultra Rare Bakugou" is a Bakugou-kun who wears the tie and SMILES while doing it.

(Yes, I know that's NOT actually a tie. Shut up Bakugou-kun. You're only smirking in this one because you won the Popularity Poll for the 5th time in a row...)

(Well that's random, you say? Welcome to my blog. Considering the stuff going down on canon, I figured I should give fans, and myself, a break from angst to talk about something silly.

Please note that this applies only to the manga. I've found that the anime isn't quite so strict about how Bakugou-kun looks.

Regarding the headcanons, I just want to clarify that everyone is free to think whatever they like. I enjoy all headcanons and support your right to have them.

I wrote this a while ago and then debated posting it because it's such a huge meta about... Bakugou-kun's tie. I had regrets. But now it's become my new years post. Regrets were for 2020, it's already 2021!

Demons out, fortune in!!! I know it's not setsubun for another month, but 2020 was such a demon.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!)

[nanakah]

about Ishigami, his growth and Miko's role

most people, myself included, thought at some point that Tsubame's rejection (or acceptance) could wrap up Ishigami's arc and even his past's flashbacks neatly, but Osaragi's arc suddenly revealing there was more to his relationship with Miko made me reflect more and think nah...if anything we're halfway there. It also showed glimpses of him already struggling to find his place in the world by quitting his clubs, even though he was successful at them and there was no Ootomo incident yet to undermine his self-image.

It seemed odd that despite everything he went through he still has his "hair=shield/averting eyes" theme going strong, but it makes sense if you consider even though Tsubame helped him see the way to be more accepting of people and cleared his name, his self-esteem still is super low. I spoke of this in my "sutera" meta, but to Ishigami, his life still has been a sucession of failures and almosts. At his core, he still hasn't fully opened up to people or learned to use his vulnerabilities to his advantage.

If I have grabbed your interest thus far, keep reading for more considerations!

Tsubame is kind to anyone and attempted to do good for him, but ultimately he was never fully himself around her, nor she tried/he alllowed her reaching out to the deepest parts of his insecurities. She doesn't show her own flaws to him either and to this day we get the feeling we don't know her well, just the best parts that Ishigami wanted to see. Kaguya, Miyuki and Chika contribute a lot in a sibling-like way, but there's a limit to how much Kaguya in particular can inspire him. Miko however, has scratched a little beneath the surface and has expressed an interest in helping him with that, even if he himself is still avoiding the topic. She's also more relatable to him in the sense that the rest of the stuco has a history of successes in their lives, while he was able to watch Miko's hardships and failures closely. Their panic attacks even look similar and they're always watching the other to provide backup (in a very roundabout way, at least before) when they happen.

While their personalities are fundamentally different, his arc and struggles remind me a lot of Miyamura from Horimiya and today, as I was musing on what is so different about them as of now, I believe it's how Miyamura didn't have a single *traumatic* mistake to get over, so he goes down his development road much faster. Putting it another way, it's ultimately that Ishigami hasn't yet learned to be kind to himself like Miyamura has through Hori. Like Shirogane and Kaguya are through themselves. In Miyamura's case, sympathizing with how Hori despite her strong exterior can be very fragile inside but still support him (fight for him, defend him, accept his true self, not judge him, hear him, make him feel good enough) made him feel compelled to grow stronger to protect her back.

Miko as she was at the beggining of the story couldn't provide Ishigami this sort of stability (and that's where Osaragi's "prettier story"/"you weren't there for him" reasoning fails) even if deep down she wanted to, but now after making many mistakes, learning from them and becoming more flexible, she absolutely can. Both Ishigami and Miko have deeply rooted issues that took them more than just each other to flesh out and develop, but they're very much the missing puzzle piece the other needs.

Miko still very much has room for growth as well, mainly concerning finding a middle ground between her "bad girl" and "good girl" personas that Ishigami can easily see through, as demonstrated by the consolation chapter. She tried being "bad", she attempted lying but was still saying half-truths, because her love of justice isn't just out of parental abandonment issues or loneliness - she does believe them sincerely. The moment Ishigami headpated her and shared genuine, spot-on words of concern and admiration (thus a hint of fondness), it was all over for her trying to keep up the love-warfare upper hand.

That's not actually new - Ishigami has always demonstrated he was able to see glimpses of her true self, be it teasing how she's an otaku or a closet pervert and such, he never fully bought the strait-laced image she aspired to make real. But it did take him being around her more to see she could be sweet to him and as he puts it, that smiling more is not a bad look on her. Miko says to Osaragi your true self only comes through interacting with others, so given how lonely she has always been (and how the one person close to her - Osaragi - was actually keeping things between them superficial because of her own problems), it's no surprise she's only finding out now who she is. Ishigami can help Miko find a better compromise of good/bad after both not following any rules at all for so long and recently learning that hard work can pay off. Miko immersing herself in his hobby will clash with her rigid study schedule sooner or later, and he'll know how to help her with that better than anyone else.

On the other hand, Ishigami's moral compass, romanticism (love for flowers, planing dates etc) and idealism aren't things he is proud of...yet. He protects himself with layers of cynism, especially in his first appearances, but he is always being contradictory and letting it slip how idealistic/pure he is at heart. He also is only now learning to like his outward image with things like fitness/studying and finding out it's not like he never cared about it - it's just that he was scared shitless of failure, thus never even tried hard in the first place to avoid being hurt. And as I have advocated for in the Sutera post, I expect Miko in some level to help him come to terms with seeing good in himself. Heck, even being able to game with her now and showing off how good he is and having her appreciate it is gonna do wonders to make him feel more "adequate". Tsubame's arc had a lot of him changing himself to become "better", but Miko on the other hand is trying to put herself in HIS shoes to maybe go "hey, I like you as you are. I'm trying to understand you more and put effort in for you".

Ishigami and Miko start out watching out for each other behind their backs - which instead of helping their relationship, drives them further apart because they think the other side is showing no appreciation. As the story progresses, they're slowly learning to make each other more aware of their support, and it is making them open up more in general.

They have a strong belief the other wants to be rescued and there is truth in that. Both want help and to be recognized for their efforts, but won't cry out for it. In the unplugged earbuds chapter Ishigami takes it upon himself to protect Miko's reputation in spite of himself, the election arc has him actually putting effort into the campaign just for the sake of protecting her and at first posing as a rival of hers to Shirogane only to reveal he's trying to "make Miko smile", he is constantly fending off men from interacting with her as protection (while also sounding jealous), he was way more protective of her when she was wearing that cast than needed and is now being able to openly headpat her and sounds almost like her "soothing sounds" from the days of yore lol Sure Tsubame seems like his start to becoming "a better man", but all the way back on the election, it was for Miko's sake that we first SEE him putting effort into *anything* without being coerced by anyone to take action.

And while it's more discreet compared to Ishigami's "white knight" attitude, Miko also tries hard to protect him - cheering him on during the sports festival race and wanting to console him before the stuco intervened, telling him he should study (but he thinks it's just nagging), christmas (which I'll elaborate bellow), making sure he was able to graduate middle school by actually confronting school staff and, of course, their very first meeting as recently revealed.

Many people hated the entirety of Osaragi's arc, but 232 gave very juicy info indeed. Ishigami's reason for supporting Miko from the shadows comes from admiration AND part gratitude for her attempting to talk to him and listen to what troubles him, and seeing they actually had a "falling out" argument was game changing.

He looks sad and troubled to have shut her down there, not simply angry, and so does she (there's tears in her eyes when her face is shown in the next page) - despite her black and white sense of justice at this point of the story, she still wanted to listen to him. And even after that outburst she still believed the rumors weren't real, unlike Osaragi sees it - otherwise she wouldn't have made the effort for him to be able to move on to high school. Why would she care, if she truly hated him and thought he was in the wrong?

If any further proof was needed at all that this info is important, I'm happy to say we have more. I noticed the Christmas stairs scene mirrors this exact falling out moment: "Go away"/"Suit yourself"

But this time Miko had already decided to change, had already seen the mess their relationship became the last time she did not reach out to him and thus already had their previous falling out in mind - meaning she decides to chase after him.

I don't like how the scanlations handled this scene because reading the japanese raws, my interpretation was that Miko was sounding "annoying" because she was still kinda drunk/unfiltered and freaking out when talking to Ishigami, not outright berating him like the Jaimini's box translation made it look like. She also sounds too angry after the fall, so I generally thought Viz's version (the panel shown above) was closer to the original.

"I always have to take care of you! You keep putting youself in danger. You can't make it on your own." is a better translation than Jaimini's, and also parallels better what Ishigami is often telling Miko as well (That she keeps putting herself in danger and that he has to be around to keep her in check). But with 232 in mind, I think it misses a nuance of the original line: "ほんとあんたは 私が居ないと危なっかしく駄目ね" - "Honto anta wa watashi ga inaito abunakkashiku dame ne" - while I'm a novice at japanese studies, gathering from what I can read and trying to get a feel of the whole sentence, it's closer to "So it really is dangerous to you if I'm not there/ It's no good if I'm not around you". You can take that as her being full of herself, which is the route Jaimini's goes ("You'd be screwed without me") but that's too hostile - Viz's got the spirit of wanting to protect him better, but the original has an implication that she has "tested not being there"/failed being there before (due to not fully siding with him in middle school) that's absent elsewhere.

IMO the reason Ishigami's "closed his eyes" arc is not over yet is because he hasn't accepted or gotten over or fully learned from his past yet, he simply shut it down. That's why briefly during the sports festival his eyes are in plain view, then go back to their usual for the balloon gag. I'm not sure if Ootomo herself will make a comeback, may or may not - regrets are regrets and sometimes the only solution to them is letting them stay in the past. But the topic of how he saw Miko in middle school and the letter certainly are being set up to still show up in the story.

If I compare him to Miyamura again, he'd still be at the point before Miyamura's haircut - not wanting to face the parts of himself he doesn't like, not quite ready to change. Not quite ready to patch up his own wounds yet and instead silencing everything from his past.

In this sense, Miko does wonders to make him feel more confident even if he hasn't realized it yet, and she's always dropping little hints she'd like him to worry about his future not in a naggy way, but because she genuinely prays for his success. He unconsciously wants Miko to think well of him and it fills him with confidence and a more prideful image of himself he doesn't really display to anyone else, not even Tsubame - like his usages of "ore" (a more manly/confident way of addressing himself) around her (AND HER ALONE):

( I don't like the available translations to the staircase scene either, lol. Zaibatsu has conveyed the tone of the second scene up there perfectly. For the staircase line, I've seen "I'll be there to catch you" and "I'll save you" which are contextually correct, but to me the original "俺が絶対守る" - "I (ore) will absolutely protect you" carries a much more romantic nuance or ambiguity, regardless of him realizing it at that point. It's like, the title to one of the most romantic moments/songs in the CCS Clear card anime ost, for instance. OF COURSE MIKO LOVES HIM. The narrator doesn't overexplain or take apart Ishimiko's interactions like for Prezguya, but all the evidence needed is there. And I gotta add the very next chapter to the staircase one is the "eternal love" x "real love" I'm super fond of that says fate is irrelevant and to find real love you must use your head to realize/understand things, so makes the romantic subtext even greater.)

This whole affair is also making me open my eyes that I should try to study japanese more...of course I'm happy to have translations and scanlators working hard, but there is something inherently lost in adaptations because it robs you of connecting with the author's intentions unless it was the author who wrote the translation in the first place

Thinking back on Ishigami's early "i wanna die/i'm going home/don't look at me" role, it seems unbelievable we're at the point he's now able to directly confront a "stranger" (lololol) or make serious promises with so much confidence.

PLEASE DON'T END SO SOON MANGA, I NEED MORE.

( off-topic kind of, but i'm lazy to make a separate post just for it: Since I mentioned things lost in translation, I saw something on Discord about Ishigami having an unreliable narrator moment in the "compliments" chapter/Iino Miko cannot love part 4 and holy molly, it is true. He first says something akin to "You're just too beautiful" out of context, Miko HEARS IT - and that's why she looks so shocked before asking for clarification - and he DID SAY IT in the speech bubble, but after she's nice to him and he thinks back to what he said he adds a "Your handwriting is just too beautiful" to his flashback. I'm ONTO HIM. ONTO HIM I SAY. It is what he meant, but it's like his mouth betrayed him. Whether it's unconscious or denial...it totally is something. The scanlation completely skips this and had the same line both times it's mentioned.)

[blueboltkatana]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

GUrll ur so sexy... Like you're Hot. I don't care if you were bullied in school, you're sexy, they lied.

Also bitch I KNEW i related to you too much our ascendants are both in leo we're so hot.

Ok ok no now I'll stop complimenting and start with the roasting here we go:

So the sun is your sense of "self" it represents you on the more base level i guess you could say, like what most people think you're like is represented by your sun. With Sagittarius being your sun it means you're very energetic Especially for those things you are passionate about, you might have gone through a LOT of hobbies, only a few of them stuck around but you like to try things. You're curious about the way people's minds works, you wanna figure them out. If the conversations you have don't involve some form of psychoanalysis or philosophy you might loose interest. You are a Talker, maybe you talk very fast or you are often told to lower your voice but you don't do it on purpose you're just very very animated. You are kina volatile, in the sense that you value freedom in everything, love, work, hobbies. You have a huge rebellious streak and you kinda like testing your luck. Think adrenaline junkie. It's cliché but with this much Sagittarius in your chart you prob love traveling, like i said you will chase freedom because you associate it with happiness. If you find people that make you feel free then you feel happy. Rules don't go well with you. You don't really like being involved with fights per se but you LOVE debating, if you can beat a motherfucker with nothing but facts and logic you will and you will enjoy it.

Your way of flirting or making friends is "lowkey bullying" or my favourite "verbally throwing hands". If they shoot back you get heart eyes (my mars in sag agrees). You can be tactless as fuck tho. Like you will say some outrageous shit that MIGHT be funny if the timing is right or MIGHT make everyone in a 5 mile radius mad.

I NEED to talk about your moon in sag bc Babe, babe the moon tells us about our emotions and how we deal with them, how we express them and how they shape us. But BABE. Sagittarius moons are so bad at comforting people it's embarrassing, trying to make them think of smth else or do smth else to distract from the situation is NOT a good way to deal with your emotions... Avoiding your emotions like the plague is not gonna invent a vaccine... Saying "everything is fine :)" DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING FINE PLEASE GO TO THERAPY. ok to give you some credit, you don't let shit bring you down, no matter what you always get up and that is a *strength* that i admire, but love you're burning the candle at both ends, especially if you get yourself in More problems by trying to distract yourself from One problem.

Also you've had a horsegirl phase or a dog obsession phase or both huh. AND your love language is sarcasm but the type that you will make someone laugh when you're insulting them. You're also hilarious irl you're prob the "funny friend" but with that scorpio mars and venus baby inside ur sad and dark as fuck ripp.

I also wanted to talk about your mercury in sag... Babe... Do you know what a brain to mouth filter IS?! do you recognize that word?!?! Cuz you have never used yours i think. Like you are hilarious but that's because you have dolphins in the head cavity baby. Not trying to say you're stupid, you're actually very smart and opinionated, probably have been told that you'd be a great lawyer or smth. But miss gurl please think before you speak for the love of god ur gonna make someone cry. Also ur mouth is foul. Have you ever spoken a sentence without a "fuck" or a "cunt" somewhere in there?! God bless.

Now for your scorpio Venus I'm just gonna say, more confirmation that ur Sexy as Fuck, scorpio venuses are just sexy, amazing partners, VERY passionate, whoever dates you will never forget you, for better or for worse you'll forever be on the back of their mind. You had a harsh emo phase huh, maybe loved some obscure shit like witchcraft or just love dressing all black like someone's mother died, i bet you wear silver jewelry a lot, maybe necklaces or rings or chockers. If this isn't how you dress now it was prob a major phase in your life. Or maybe you just love horror movies idk

Being as passionate as you are you don't take well to being mistreated or lied to, you might like to plot revenge and things like those, you wouldn't do anything... You actually prefer letting things go but you WILL make an elaborate scenario in your head at 3am or even as you stare right in the persons face.

With mars in scorpio you might be kinda passive aggressive, maybe you act like things don't really bother you but you throw a comment or two once in a while just to stir the pot bc you can't move on lmfao.

You are attracted to people that are introverts or generally just mysterious, like i said above the nature of the Sagittarius is to Learn and to Study. People that you can't immediately figure out intrigue you. All your crushes are either on geminis or water signs lmfao.

The best careers for you are the ones that allow you some freedom of either movement or expression and something that can keep your mind from flying away, something that keeps you intrigued, like research or writing. You're a very "all or nothing" person and it can sometimes scare people away, i advise you to work on compromising, being less stubborn and more open with your emotions and desires.

(part one bc I'm taking too long and I don't wanna keep you waiting so much) I'll reblog this with part 2

Alright here we go part 2 of Roasting hella until she finds out I'm hiding in her walls.

I will skip over some planets that are Very slow moving and usually don't talk about you as an individual but refer to your generation as a whole.

I wanna focus on lilith for a sec bc worstie lilith talks about our fears, our more "darker" side that we hide from ourselves as well as the people that we love. Lilith in aries in the eleventh house tells me you might be afraid to take charge, you gravitate towards positions of leadership but you let go on the last second, almost afraid to have too much control, very often self sabotaging your own success. Your anger and you own ambition might scare you, you might be afraid of appearing too aggressive bc under your skin you have a deep rooted anger and rebellion that you wish to relieve but you can't find a good enough outlet, some things soothe it but you always feel like it never leaves. It might be related to some form of resentment that you never truly dealt with and now it sits uncomfortably with you and you just can't get over it and it bothers you. You might have been shy in groups as a child, maybe you talked a lot but it was always from a fear of the silence not always because you had something to say. The eleventh house is that of groups and friends and social awareness, technology and your hopes and wishes for the future, having lilith in this house talks about someone who had a hard time feeling comfortable around people OR someone who wasn't very accepted. You might have desperately wished for friends but have found it hard to find any. Or if you did, you deep down felt very alone. I would advise to learn to accept your anger and deal with it in healthy ways instead of brushing it off and repressing it.

The north node talks about what you need to focus more in your life for example in your case with Gemini in your North node you need to focus more on your communication letting go of anxiety and your relation with other people you need to become more interested in intellectual pursuit and growth. You need to let go off the need to always be right and look more at details instead of focusing on on the bigger picture all of the time. When your North node is is in Gemini then your South node is in Sagittarius which tells me that what you should focus less on is your pursuit of freedom and your rebellion. Be more aware of your words and use them with maturity.

Now let's have some fun with the ascendent in leo which we share and now i see why ur so relatable. The first house or the ascendant is that very superficial layer of our personality, it includes the way we carry ourselves, our style, the little habits or quirks we have. One thing about leo ascendants is that we have an obsession with our hair. Hair is important to us, some have huge hair that might remind you of a lions mane, others just have very unique style or color but we ALL are lowkey or highkey obsessed with it, either constantly touching it, pulling it, chewing on it, cutting it or dying it in unique ways you name it. You might have a rather large nose or cat like eyes.

This ascendent is full of life and light, very funny, light hearted and luxurious, you want to live that good life and i don't blame you. A negative aspect is that we come of as intimidating to others. ALL of my friends AND my ex have at some point told me I was intimidating to them. It makes us prone to overcompensating for it later in life so maybe now you're super outgoing and extroverted and you approach people first and try to be super friendly. Also you're an attention whore (affectionate) with a flare for the dramatics, very flamboyant, you basically fill the room with personality, it attracts attention and you love it. You're what people would call a "sunny" person.

You're hella competitive (get it lol) and you LOVE fighting your way to the top and crushing the competition. You're probably a weirdo that low key likes school. Not the way it's run or the teachers or whatever, but the "idea" of school. If you could just learn all your life you absolutely would.

Second house in virgo. The 2nd house is the house of money, work, income, daily routines, values, material possessions, habits, work ethic ect being in virgo it means you can have an extremely good work ethic, you put a lot of thought in planning and mapping your work, you might get overly critical on your work though and often undermine your own success and efforts because they didn't fit your impossible standards. You can be very organized in your work, you want things to be a certain way and if they don't follow your plan you will Make them. Its a good position for virgo but yoh need to be aware of not overworking by trying to do Everything on your own. Let others help you, and let people in your work do their own things don't try to help if not asked to because you will overwork yourself.

The third house is that of the mind, thinking, communication, siblings, interests and early education, in your case it is in Libra which means that you're early education might not have been very stable or it was a period of time that you look back with a lot of fondness but not much substance. You are a good talker but you get lost when it comes to details, you are indecisive when it comes to settling on an opinion on something if you don't have All the facts first, you always want to be right. You are pretty open minded and easy to talk to but you might have the bad habit of rambling off topic. You change interests constantly and you prob like to talk about others, you wanna know the tea if it kills you. You prob had a crush on a childhood best friend or on a hot neighbor. Your relationship with your siblings might be pretty good, friendly, no particular resentment or anything like that, you might be the one that everyone treats a little better, people let you get away with things more often, you might be the one that takes 2 hours in the bathroom lol.

Oof fourth house in scorpio babe how are the mommy issues? 😬 How is your relationship with your femininity? Having trouble with keeping secrets? So the fourth house is the one responsible for your home roots, your family, self-care, emotions, your mother, women and your femininity and having Scorpio here tells me that you might have very strong ties to your family, but they weren't healthy or emotionally supportive. You have grown with people that might have undermined your emotions, people that didn't teach you to set healthy boundaries and maybe even manipulators and gaslighters. You might have been the type to put your foot down a lot a home, assuming a very dominant role as well as the defender. You're very private about your family life and don't want to let people too close.

Ah i just noticed u have like 3 planets in this house including ur Sun and Moon, babe this house is what you need to focus on when you go to therapy. This almost secretive, guarded approach to understanding your own emotions is very prominent in how you see yourself, how you feel and with Pluto there, how you change. I could say the biggest changes in your life have happened in these areas and they have left the biggest impacts on you. Yes you are passionate and protective but don't let bad feelings marinate forever, address them and then move on from them because they're just weighting you down.

Fifth house in sag, also the house of your mercury. This house represents Love, romance, creativity, self expression, joy and childlike spirit. It tells me the way you express your creativity is through words which makes sense since you're a great writer, but not only, the way you express Love is also through your words, expression and free thoughts are your way you tell your loved ones how much you mean to them, think poetry, long rants, music recommendations bc of specific song lyrics, you have been writing form childhood and it's one of the ways you express your view on beauty as well, to you love is freedom and freedom is expression.

Capricorn in the sixth house paired with both uranus and neptune being in it tells me there is something about your knees, joints, bones or teeth in particular that stands out when it comes to your health, maybe you tend to break your teeth, maybe you like chewing on crunchy foods, maybe your joints crack a lot, idk but I'd drink my milk if i was you, take care of your joints and bones. Also for you, being emotionally unwell often translates to being Physically unwell as well, so be mindful of your emotions because they do affect you physically. You need to keep hydrated also and your health plan needs structure for it to work bc that neptune makes everything very chaotic and uranus constantly makes you bored and wanting to spice things up. Take care of your emotional needs just as much as you would with your physical ones. And for the love of jesus be CAREFUL with alcohol or smoking because that neptune in ur health house could mean serious trouble if you let it become an addiction, don't push it.

Aquarius in the seventh house of relationships, marriage, contracts, business partners ect means you are untraditionally traditional. That makes sense in my head let me explain. Aquarius is a sign that seeks individualism desperately, it likes to feel like a special person, impossible to understand. Yet always feels comfortable in the structure of traditional and safe paths. So for example you might marry someone in a way that is not traditional but at the end of the day you wish for your marriage to have a stability you would feel safe falling into. Also it says ur gay. Air signs in the relationship house says ur gay i Make the rules.

Pisces is in the eighth house of sex, intimacy, shared finances, inheritance, taxes, loans, property, mystery, partner's resources. This tells me you fuck with feeling lmfao. Or you simply make your love life something "special", a connection that only you and ur person can share, it's what makes you an amazing lover and an unforgettable one as well. But as amazing as you are at creating a otherworldly atmosphere, ur just as shit at setting boundaries and saying something when you don't like something. You don't like to see things that you love ending and a failed relationship makes you blame yourself too much, you have the tendency to stay in situations where you are being mistreated but you tell yourself It's on you.

A recurring theme I'm seeing is some weakness when it comes to liars or manipulators in your life. So either you irrationally fear people are lying to you because you "lie" to them about yourself or a lot of people in your childhood might have used lying or gaslighting as a way to keep you under control. I would advise to try not to overthink and become paranoid, people love you and they believe in you and they aren't deceiving you, they don't secretly mean something different from what they have said. Listen to your intuition about people sure, but don't confuse it with anxiety.

With lilith and aries in the 9th house of travel and higher education and religion I'm gonna assume you might have religious trauma. Religion might have been a way that people used to try and control you, if not religion then some form of system or government law. Being queer i completely understand the sentiment but in your case it's take a step further because you Value the ideals of this house so much, with lilith here, it's like at som point in your life you were finally awakened to how much injustice there was in the world ant that has made you very inclined to take action, you cannot stand unjust government or non tolerating religions. You might have felt crushed under an unjust system and it took you a lot of will and conviction to find your individuality and build yourself how you wanted once you were free.

Your midheaven in taurus tells me you are one that will achieve any goals you set your mind to. It might take you time, you might procrastinate around it, but at the end of the day, you will do it and you will do it well and it will be rewarding. If your father isn't a Taurus then he was a stable figure in your life, very much a rock for better or for worse. In your career life people will see you as very competent, very down to earth and helpful but you know you just procrastinated till the last second possible and stayed up all night do finish your work... You will seek careers that you believe will guarantee you stable income and a comfortable life. You might indulge in luxury from time to time because you think in order to get the position you want at work you need to look the part. Ultimately it's your sheer stubbornness and spite that gets you all the way up to the top of the food chain.

The eleventh house of groups, friendships, humanitarianism, and social awareness is in your case in gemini. It tells me you value friendship extremely and you surround yourself with a diverse cast of friends, you couldn't mix your different friend groups if you tried and you have tried. You have the habit of being too friendly to everyone which makes you end up with more friends than you know what to do with. You are approachable but people can get the impression that you are putting up a show or a facade and your emotions arent genuine, it's not always the case but you need to be more truthful and assertive, put some boundaries and don't let people get away with shit you don't like. Your public persona is very well liked, seen as fun and bright and smart and overall a joy to be around.

Now that last placement... 12th house cancer, i have the same placement and babe I'm sorry for all the shit you have been through. You deserve the freedom to be unhappy and to express that unhappiness in healthy ways. You deserve to be given unconditional love and support no matter how many mistakes you say you have made no matter how overly pessimistic you are about yourself it doesn't matter you're amazing and i love you and you deserve the world.

With jupiter the planet of expansion in the 12th house of endings, spirituality, solitude and karma?! Gurl i did say u were a cult leader but i didn't think it was astrologically backed up rippp. But it also says you might have a hard time getting the motivation to finish things, you might take a long time to finish a project. This house placements also tells me you're amazing at writing emotional ass fantasy stories which by now we have confirmed, but if you have like, an original idea for a book don't hesitate to get it started babe bc u have a very promising placement for that. Don't get too dragged into a sad whirlpool of emotions and daydreams but bring your creative ideas to life and you'll be fine.

This is all I'm doing today and i think it's enough lol. I'm posting this I'm sorry to my followers for the long ass post I'll tag it so you can filter it. This was a whole psycho-astrological analysis of our favourite writer Hellspawn1975. I have wanted to study her like a new lizard species for a while and i finally got the chance thank you hella for the opportunity.

Final words to @hella1975 i hate you and I'll fuck ur mom tomorrow, gn babe <3

[madartiste]

Deadly Fortune, Book 2, Chapters 16-20

Last bit of notes!  Everything under the cut to avoid flooding all the dashboards.  I want to say that while I found some of the translators lines amusing or hard for me to understand, they deserve a heck of a lot of credit!  I wouldn’t have been able to read this AT ALL if not for their super hard work.  It’s a really tough job, and my dumb, monolingual self really appreciates it.

Link to the translation: https://originaldmc.github.io/DivinityStatue/Downloads.html

Link to the previous section of notes: https://madartiste.tumblr.com/post/186847616290/deadly-fortune-book-2-chapter-00-1-15

Stage 16 (Dante vs. Berial)

Berial is salty about losing to a 'man who is not as tall as his calf,' so he comes back to the human world before he's fully recovered.  He's annoyed that Nero isn't there and wonders just what the kid is. He's definitely not a full demon or Berial would know him.  Initially he thinks that Nero is a 'personal class.'  (Not sure what that means, not enough context)  Or is Nero the child of a human and a demon?  He considers that someone like that would be extremely rare.  He wonders how Sparda could fall in love with something as small and weak as a human and have children with one.  Pretty much all demons think the idea is super gross.  

2000 years ago, Berial was still a wee, weak demon, but he heard about Sparda.  Mundus was able to rule in part thanks to his right hand man (er… demon), Sparda.  Berial wanted to be like him someday (oooh, so he's so grumpy because he idolized the guy.), but Sparda turned traitor and killed many of his comrades before sealing away Mundus.  It's incomprehensible to Berial, and he thinks that no other demon would ever have kids with a human.

He's heard about Dante and wonders if Nero is another son of Sparda.  (Good guess, buddy.)  Dante looks a lot like Sparda's 'human mimicry,' though he thinks that Dante might have surpassed his father's strength at this point.

Berial thinks the Savior is stupid and even he feels that Sparda didn't save humans so they could make something so dumb.

He recognizes Dante instantly which thrills Dante.  He's happy someone knows who he is.  Interesting bit: Berial heard that Sparda was cold and quiet, not one to talk too much -- so like Vergil.

Haha!  Dante says he's in a hurry, but Berial wonders why he would waste time sitting on his damn tail if he thought things were urgent.  

Berial waits patiently while Dante grabs Lucifer.  Apparently Berial was just a low-level demon and therefore never met Mundus.  These days, he's a General and a King, so he would be able to -- except that Mundus is sealed away.  He recognizes Lucifer too. Dante asks if they were friends, most Devil Arms are crafted by demons but some are made from demons who recognize the strength of an opponent.  (That's pretty much every weapon Dante picks up in the games.)  It's a bit conflicting, but Berial says that 'the body or the soul' of a demon acknowledges they have lost and, regardless of their will, they become a Devil Arm.

Lucifer was also a king/ruler in hell and a 'noble demon.'  He had the power to manipulate explosions.

Berial gets annoyed that Dante is playing with him during the fight.  I'm… pretty sure most of Dante's dialogue here is innuendo (just like in his game scene after he gets Lucifer back.  Pretty much the same words.).  Berial has no idea what he's on about.

Dante offers to let Berial run, but of course he doesn't.  Aaah, he doesn't want to turn into a Devil Arm for Dante. Berial almost gives in to becoming a Devil Arm anyway, but resists at the last second, feeling sorry that he couldn't avenge Lucifer.

Dante still has to get the Sparda and Yamato back.  He's not sure what happened to Nero, though if he's lost his body, Dante knows he can't save him.  Interestingly, Dante thinks that as long as he can get Yamato back, he's got a chance since it can 'separate the people from the devil.'  Even if Nero is absorbed, Dante might be able to use Yamato to get him free.  (And thus we get the major plot twist of DMC5!)

He wonders if it is fate that he came to Fortuna and met Nero, though he doesn't like the idea.  Dante doesn't want to delve into who Nero's biological parents actually are, though he knows he's got a close blood tie to the kid.  According to Dante, his aging is pretty close to a normal humans.  Dante has no idea what happened to Sparda, if he's dead or alive, and claims that it doesn't matter to him.  There's a nice line about how he might entrust the future to Nero the way Sparda did with Dante and Vergil.

And then Dante decides he's being weird and will worry about it later.

Stage 17 (Dante vs. Agnus)

Agnus was waiting in the Opera House because he wants to defeat Dante 'with his own strength.'  It sounds like his particular devil ability is to absorb 'magic' power from other demons?  With the Hell Gate open he's got a lot to grab from.  Oh right.  Agnus has that health drain ability.  He plans to suck the 'magic' out of Dante to make himself stronger and Dante weaker. Agnus put a ward on the Opera House, but he deliberately breaks it so Dante can get in -- even though he acknowledges Dante could just bust through.  

The scene is pretty close to the game scene with Agnus, though Dante is pretty confused at first.  Ah, Dante figures that Agnus gave him a 'role' in the show, so he plays along.  He thinks it's rather fun.  He even plays around with the spotlight system to be dramatic.  Hm. Agnus is annoyed that Dante butted into his performance.  He refers to himself as an 'archangel.'  

Dante doesn't ask, but Agnus likes to tell him how he made the artificial demons he summons to fight for him.  Dante gets pretty roughed up, and Agnus gloats about how strong he is.  Ah, Dante goes Royal Guard on him.  It works by hardening parts of the body -- maybe with his devil powers?  Agnus gets really wound up by the fact that Dante deflects all his attacks.

Dante thinks that Agnus is too excitable to be a really good scientist.  He knocks him down with a Royal Release. Since Agnus isn't out of the fight completely, Dante finally uses his Devil Trigger.  (Good bye, Agnus.) Agnus is terrified, and Dante stabs him through the chest.  Agnus turns back to human since his energy is used up.  He dies just like in the game.

Dante thinks the whole thing is a tragedy, that Agnus went so far off the deep end with his science.  If he hadn't, Agnus' life might've turned out differently.  In the end, Dante shoots out the spotlight.

There is an interesting line as Dante wonders if Agnus might understand what he was getting at when he says that humans have something demon's lack: 'It's only one word, but it's more precious than anything, so it's cheaper to use language.'  The language is a little weird here, but I think the gist is that if you can't figure it out on your own, you'll never understand.  (I'm assuming the word is 'love' considering Nero's dialogue with Sanctus at the end of the game.)

Stage 18 (Dante vs. the Savior)

The citizens are panicking and don't care who Trish is as long as she's guiding them to safety.  She takes them to the 'Calound Pier' which is a good ways from the city.  Oooh, it's the port warehouse from the game, I think.  Trish swiped a 'magic device' from the Order and uses it to create a protective barrier around the warehouse.  She doesn't naturally have the ability to do such a thing on her own.  After doing that, she runs back to the city to the Hell Gate.

The gate is still working at this point which worries her.  She doesn't think that Dante lost -- but she knows he has a 'sloppy personality.'  (Hah!)  She frets that he might have gotten lost, wasted time playing around, or something like that.  As his partner, she knows he is capable of that kind of thing, but she also knows he can be series when things are bad.  There's another line about how Dante doesn't like to do what people expect him to.

Trish finds Dante at the city square.  She sees him with Yamato and thinks about Vergil.  She never understood him, but then again, she never knew the Vergil that Dante did since he was a mindless puppet when she met him, 'he had no personality or soul.'  Dante swings Yamato around with such precision that Trish wonders if he learned it from watching his brother.  She thinks that Vergil lives on in Dante's heart -- even if Dante doesn't know it.

Dante shows off for her -- pointing at the Hell Gate after he cuts it and not watching it fall.  Trish thinks she understands why Sparda didn't destroy the thing when he was here.  Sparda was a demon and therefore the Underworld was his home.  He might have been kinda homesick and not willing to cut off the last route there.  Trish feels the same way, which is why she studies information about demons and Devil Arms.  Dante probably wouldn't understand the feeling since he was born in the human world.

The Savior sees the Hell Gate go down and heads in their direction.  Dante and Trish talk about trying to keep the fight away from where the citizens are holed up.  Trish suggests taking them out to Mitis Forest since there are still a lot of demons in the area and trying to fight them while protecting everyone will be hard even for Trish.  Also the Savior is huge and they're not sure the port is far enough away to be safe. She's got some plans to protect everyone from the demons in the forest.

Turns out Lady is her plan.  As long as Lady arrives safely, of course.

Dante quips with Sanctus who is possessing one of the Alto Angelos.  (Pretty much like the game.)  He runs along the rubble avoiding the Savior's attacks. (Also like the game)  Dante is very concerned about saving Nero before he takes out the big statue.  His first thought is that Nero might be inside the blue gems on the Savior since they're giving off a lot of magical energy.  He decides to break a few of them first to see what happens.  

He's using Pandora for a lot of this fight and Omens a bunch of the Angelos that are chasing him around.  Then I think he Judgement Cuts the Savior?  

Back to Nero:  He regains consciousness and starts remembering who he is.  There's a line about a 'part' of him or a 'fragment' of himself that he feels nearby helping him remember.  It's Yamato.  He says he can feel Dante nearby with a 'part of me in the hands of Dante.'  He feels lousy because Dante has to come rescue him.  He says he's lost his body but definitely doesn't want to just lay around doing nothing.  Nero wants to save Kyrie with his own strength.  He tries to scream but can't.

Back to Dante:  Outside, there's a fluctuation in the Savior which Dante thinks might be Nero.  He contemplates the gem on the chest and hears the 'cry of the soul' 'of the same bloodline as himself.'  So he stabs the Savior in the chest.  He's a little nervous about the Savior's big beam attack.  Normally he can tank demon attacks, but this one looks particularly strong.  He Devil Triggers with the intention to, I think, fly out of the way?  He sort of armors up instead and lets himself get hit with the attack.  He isn't able to move, though his power keeps him from being hurt.  Once it's over, Dante jumps back over onto where the left Rebellion sticking out of the statue.

Sanctus gloats.  Dante gets Yamato inside the Savior (pretty much as per the game).  I also think he calls Rebellion back to him?  There's a line where he kinda motions at it with his finger and it flies back to his hand.

When Dante yells at him to wake up, Nero tries to yell back but can't.  Dante thinks that their meeting was accidental, but that it would've been very boring otherwise.  He yells Nero's name.

The first part of Nero that is restored is his Devil Bringer, which seems to annoy him somewhat since he hates it, and grabs Yamato.  He mentions that something is tying him down and covering his body. He can think more clearly now that he has hold of Yamato.  He gets himself loose and sits down for a second because his vision is fuzzy.  Nero realizes he's still got to save Kyrie and assumes that the pope would keep her far away from him as insurance.

Dante tells him to go be the hero.  Nero feels pretty confident that with Dante's backup he can go save his gal.

Stage 19 (Nero vs. Sanctus)

Lady POV:  They're still on the boat.  She basically tells Ben that she paid him so he'd better do his best.  He says he would've refused if he knew this was a suicide run.  He does what she tells him though.  Trish is waiting for them on the dock.

Lady asks how things are.  Trish tells her the sea breeze is bad for her hair. (Hah!)   Lady says she'll help Trish cut her hair if she wants to try a shorter haircut, and thinks that she doesn't really understand Trish very well. 

Trish gives her the situation: Citizens hiding in the warehouse, Dante fighting the big bad.  Lady wants to know what the hell the Savior is.  Is it a demon?  Trish says it's the "product of stupid humanity."  Taking a look around, Lady worries about the property damage.  Trish asks for her help taking the citizens out to the forest, but they get surrounded by demons while they're talking.  Time to fight.  Lady thinks that Trish's lightning is pretty convenient and is a bit envious of her and Dante's powers.  Since she can't do stuff like that, she needs money to fund her ridiculous arsenal of weapons -- which is why she's so stingy with her money and charges high fees.

Demons are damaged by silver more than iron.

Back to Dante:  He's saved Nero, so he's mostly done with his part.  Now he's just playing around.  Without Nero powering it, the Savior can't fly and has reduced mobility.  Dante knocks the thing around with Gilgamesh, breaking the bottom of one of its feet.  Nero bitches at him for shaking things around.

Dante says "This is fun" and stabs the Savior in the eye with Rebellion.

Back to Nero:  The inside of the Savior is like a labyrinth full of demons.  Nero wonders if they were being used to power the thing like he was.  He's not sure how much time has passed -- he thinks probably only a few hours -- but it feels like years.  He's lost Red Queen and Blue Rose, and he feels really rusty.  Killing the demons he keeps running into helps him get back into fighting form.  Nero isn't very comfortable fighting with Yamato yet, but he doesn't have a choice.  He wonders why he thinks of the Yamato as part of himself.

Nero instinctively knows where to go and thinks it might be that he senses the power of the Sparda.  He remembers Sanctus talking about meeting Vergil and isn't sure if he believes that was his father or not.  He always thought he was human, but the way the Yamato feels and how it glows along with his Devil Bringer… He makes a comparison of himself being a caterpillar becoming a butterfly -- basically that he's becoming what he was meant to be.  Nero jokes with himself that he's already lost his body once and had to remake it.

He gets to Sanctus and thinks that the guy looks way more like a demon than an angel.  Sanctus pulls Kyrie out, and she is obviously frightened but can't speak.  The pope threatens her, and Nero immediately can tell the sword is the Sparda because he feels a tremor in his hand.  He notes that it's not because of 'fear or excitement.'

Sanctus sticks Kyrie back in the wall, which surprises Nero.  He wonders if Sanctus doesn't want to use her as a shield because he wants to have a fair fight or if he's just overconfident.  They start fighting.

While Sanctus does his trick where he hides in the Savior, Nero realizes he can easily sense the presence of the Sparda.  Oddly, though it said earlier that Red Queen was lost, Nero pulls the sword here.  I think this might be an error, though, since it also mentions that the Yamato is able to hurt Sanctus.

So Nero remembers that Sanctus was once the Supreme General of the Holy Knights, but he notes that the Sparda has used up a lot of its power.  He straight up tells Sanctus that Credo was stronger than he is.  Nero uses some of his training from Credo and stabs Sanctus, saying that this was revenge for Credo.  He asks who should be next, maybe Tonio and Sagan.   We get pretty much the same "Sparda had a heart that could love a human" speech from the game.

Sanctus decides to use Kyrie after all, but it goes down just like in the game.

Back to Dante:  He's chopped up the Savior a bit, but the thing is tough and huge.  He compares its appearance to a statue that was salvaged from the bottom of the sea.  When Nero jumps out holding Kyrie, Dante thinks he looks like a prince rescuing a princess in a fairy tale.

Kyrie isn't too surprised by Dante or anything else, which means she might have had some awareness of what was going on while she was stuck in the Savior.  Dante basically tells Nero that his gal is a keeper and he should be good to her.  

When Sanctus merges with the Savior to control it at the end, he loses his human intelligence and becomes beast-like.  After seeing Nero crush the Savior's head, Dante says that in terms of sheer strength, Nero might outmatch him.  Nero does a shy little victory pose at the end, and Dante thinks he really is just a kid.  He tells Nero that in a few years he might be a bit more fierce, which annoys Nero.

There's a line where Dante considers that even though they're closely related, their personalities are very different -- and he feels that's a good thing.  He doesn't want Nero to be like him.

Dante tells Nero: "However, too serious or not, it is the key to live easily. Too much attachment will only be ruined by boring things, and the only thing that will hurt is his own."  (If someone can figure this out, please let me know.  My guess is: Don't be too attached to things or the only thing that you will hurt is yourself?  Possibly he's saying not to be too series or it could hurt the people around him.  I'm figuring this advice is to not be like Vergil.)

I really wish I could figure out what that is saying, because afterwards, Dante thinks that he can 'see the shadow of his brother Vergil' in Nero.  They share a similar stubborn pursuit of strength.  Dante then knows he has to 'part' with his twin.  

Dante tells Nero to cherish the Yamato along with "your lovely girlfriend."  He thinks that who Nero's father is doesn't really matter, and he doesn't have any definitive proof.  (He sure sounded certain in DMC5…)  The important thing is that Nero's 'soul is qualified to inherit the Yamato.'

Dante heads to the port to meet Trish and bumps into Lady.  He wonders why she's there since she's the client.  She tells him she's their ride home.  Naturally all the fees for the ship are coming out of his pay.  

Back to Nero:  He still doesn't really want Kyrie to see his demon arm, but she's a sweetie and does her speech about him being himself no matter what, like in the game.  He's actually a bit relieved that the demons interrupt their kiss because he's kinda worked up over everything.  

Stage 20 (Aftermath)

One month later: Dante enjoyed the quiet for the first week, but now he's bored.  He's read the same magazine four times already. Trish has been dropping by now and again.  When Lady shows up with the payment, Dante doesn't get excited because he's sure she's stiffed him again.  She ends up taking 70% of the fee for herself to pay for the boat fees, damages, and helping them fight demons at the docks.  Trish is annoyed.  Dante just doesn't care.  When Trish protests, Lady mentions that, oh yeah, the reason things got out of hand was because Trish gave the Sparda to the Order -- so she takes more money out of the stack.  Dante starts to sweat a bit because he's the one who told Lady that, and Trish obviously views it as a betrayal.

There's an odd line where Dante asks Lady about a job he wanted her to do, but she tells him she 'already sent it' and took the fee out of his cut. (Found out later that Dante was talking about the neon DMC sign he sent to Nero.)

So the 'customer with the password' thing is to make sure that only people with demon jobs are bothering Dante.  The password circulates around the shadier areas, so presumably people with demon issues find out about it from other people in the know.

When they run off at the end to do the job, Lady asks to make it a bet:  Whoever kills the most demons gets all the money from the Fortuna job.  Dante thinks that it would be more fun if Nero were there, but he's got a hunch they'll meet again.  

Back to Nero:  He's contemplating that he was abandoned at the orphanage and no one, not even himself, knows who his parents are.  He was given the name Nero by the 'dean' of the orphanage at the time who has since passed away.  He was named after the black blanket he was wrapped up in.  To Nero, this is pretty much like how you'd name a puppy or a kitten, though he doesn't really have strong feelings about his name.  He thinks it sounds like an ancient saint, which suits him.

Nero thought a lot about why he was abandoned and who his parents were when he was little.  He couldn't accept that he didn't have parents.  People speculated that his mother was embarrassed to have a child.  (I'm guessing the implication was that having a kid out of wedlock is frowned on.)  Fortuna is a small city and everyone knows each other.  It's impossible to give birth without people knowing, but there wasn't anyone in Fortuna who had when he was discovered.  There's a mention about 'foreigners' coming to Fortuna at the time, presumably people thought one of his parents might be one.  (I mean, not wrong.)

Nero would fight with people when they bullied him about it as a kid, but now he doesn't care who his biological parents are.  Kyrie, Credo, and their parents were his family.  He feels he can be content as long as he still has Kyrie around and can keep her safe.

They're renting a house as a home/office.  She wants his help carrying some food.  Kyrie has been cooking food for the people who've been displaced by the destruction.  Some of them have been living out of the Opera House even. Nero calls her goddess and carries a big pot of soup for her.

He doesn't like going out since people are more likely to be nice to Kyrie than they are to accept him being around.  Most of the townsfolk believed Kyrie when she told them that Sanctus went nuts and caused all the destruction, but some people think she's lying.  The fanatics slander her and still believe in Sanctus.  They also try to use the fact that Kyrie is dating a 'demon' against her.

Nero doesn't hide his hand anymore.  He knows it doesn't prove he's related to Sparda, but he doesn't care about that anyway.  He doesn't want to be worshipped.  It's just a part of him, and he's not ashamed.  To Nero, the Devil Bringer is why he could rescue Kyrie.  Apparently some people think that because she's with him, Kyrie will get possessed by/turned into a demon too.

Kyrie tells Nero not to wear his coat because the weather is good outside.  He's hesitant because it hides his arm.  He doesn't care what people think about him, but he doesn't want people to speak poorly of her.  She says she doesn't mind and that people will come to understand Nero eventually.

There's a kid named Abel from the orphanage Nero was raised in.  He doesn't know who his parents are either.  Abel tries to open the pot of soup but Nero gently swats his hand and then pinches the kids cheek with his Devil Bringer.  Nero sends the kid to Sister Xista in the Opera House to have her prepare some dishes so people can eat, and whispers to Kyrie that the kid is arrogant.

She laughs at him and says Abel is just like he was as a kid.  Nero says he was way more straightforward, and she points out that Abel isn't afraid of Nero's hand.  Kyrie has been laughing more recently, possibly because she has let go of many of her burdens.  It seems both Kyrie and Nero are actually comforted by the fact that Credo didn't leave a body behind.  It lets them kind of pretend that maybe he's still alive  -- though they both know that it's not true. 

The people decided to use the site of the ruined Order of the Sword building (Maybe HQ?) as a cemetery for those who died.   It's simple construction, but they play to make it nicer once they finish rebuilding.  Things are getting better day by day.  

Nero didn't used to think very highly of 'the city of Kyrie.'  Thanks to the rigid customs, someone like him, an outsider, had a hard time living there, but Kyrie loves the city so he wants to protect it.  

Kars comes by with a big wooden box for Nero who is very confused.  The only name on the label is Dante.  Kars thought it was some relief supplies.  Ah!  It's the neon Devil May Cry sign.  Nero planned to open an office on Fortuna to hunt demons since the knights can't anymore, and apparently Dante foresaw it.  Kyrie wonders why Dante hasn't contacted them since that day.  Nero's a little annoyed that Dante decided to pick the name for his new business, but accepts it since it's a gift.  It's a good name.

End of Book 2

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hi, I'm looking for some typing help. Generally, I don't live life to the fullest, although I feel envious of those who do. I often stay at home and laze around instead of watching movies or going places, but at the same time, these things often drain me and I don't seem to have as much fun doing them as I should have. I'm responsible with my money and my work, but I'm not very efficient about the latter, with bad time-management and an inconsistent level of productivity from moment to moment(1)

However, I do know what has to be done and I often take a more domineering role during group projects, though I can be scatter-brained. I’m quite impulsive with friends and don’t really think through whatever I say. Friends have called me embarrassing or rude in the past, which I often amp up for comedic effect. My morals center around doing one’s duty and doing things for the greater good and I can’t imagine not doing so. I rarely pursue opportunities due to my own indecisiveness, but at the(2)

same time I do feel a need to pursue almost all of them, especially leadership positions I don’t particularly care about, though I try to focus on what I really care about to justify why these things won’t make me happy. I have many half-baked plans for self-improvement that I’ve never realised, though I have worked on some (this does describe almost everyone though). I enjoy basking in my own nostalgia despite only being a teenager, but I manage to clean up Marie Kondo style without much(3) 

hesitation. I’m not confident about my logical or intellectual abilities, but I think I underestimate myself in this aspect. I’ve known that I want to be a writer since primary school but I also knew that this was unrealistic, leading me to consider jobs related to teaching and psychology, and now that I’m in my late teens, this still hasn’t changed. I can often be harsher than I expect and I enjoy the refreshing feeling that comes with being direct, but I often request bluntness from others (4) more than I give it to them (when it comes to serious matters) and I am willing to make compromises quite easily even without discussion, even if I think that the other person is wrong (though this seems unwise). I’m not very empathetic and can often steamroll over the feelings of those I don’t care about, though I try not to do it explicitly. I don’t feel a need to be friendly towards others, though I can and often do sustain this during one-time occasions. Thank you for your help! (5 of 5)

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Hi anon,

This sounds very much like dominant Ne, but I’m not sure on whether you have aux Ti or aux Fi:

dom Ne items include sometimes having difficulty making firm plans but being kind of drained by doing nothing as well, variable productivity, indecisiveness, nostalgia (low Si), and impulsive.

The reason I can’t tell high Fi or high Ti is that a lot of the traits here are consistent with either ENTP or ENFP. My guess is ENTP given that you don’t feel the need to be friendly but I wouldn’t rule out ENFP who’s just not super warm and fuzzy; ENTPs have the ‘blunt’ reputation but tert Te can result in this in some cases as well.

[yournewapartment]

I'm intending to move out of my mom's by fall, but I have two cats, and idk much about how to care for them on my own. I want to do it right, but I'm not very good with figuring out vet info or other care stuff for them.

Okay, so I’ve just spent the last two hours writing this post for you, in the hopes that you will change your mind. It’s way longer than I intended, but I tried to be thorough and comprehensive. Know that I have strong opinions about how to raise cats because they’re a huge part of my life. You might not agree with what I have to say, but this is what’s worked for me. I urge you to try different things and find out what works best for you! Before I get into it, let me talk about my cats…

I have a four year old orange tabby (Mason) and a sixteen year old tortoiseshell cat (Gretel) pictured in Appendix D. They have completely opposite personalities (Mason is super confident and talkative, Gretel is more standoffish) and they did NOT get along for the longest time. I’ve been with Gretel since she was three years old, so we’re very close and she’s very protective of me. After we moved into our current apartment, my boyfriend and I bought Mason to keep Gretel company. He was a rescue cat that had been previously returned after being adopted once, because he was “fresh”. He gave me the runaround when he first moved in, so I understand what it’s like to have a difficult cat.

It’s taken two years for them to both be comfortable with each other, but last week they fell asleep on the bed together (see Appendix D) and it was so beautiful. These cats have brought so much joy into my life, and I don’t know where I’d be without them. All these experiences, good and bad, have taught me that I never want to live without cats in my life.

Please feel free to direct message me if you want to talk about what taking care of cats on your own will mean for you. I am here for all your cat needs!

The Complete Guide to Living on Your Own (With Cats)

Phase 1: Your New Apartment

Before moving into your new home, follow these steps to make the process as comfortable as possible for your cats. You need to understand that they will be upset and act strange for the first few days, and this is absolutely normal and expected. Give them time- they’ll adjust.

1. Move the cats last. Move everything else you own into your new apartment, and get it set up as much as you can before moving your cats. Make sure there are plenty of places for them to hide that are easily accessible, like under your bed or in the back of a closet. Initially your cats will be very shell-shocked, and it will be easier for them to adjust if they smell familiar furniture and are able to find a secure place to hide.

2. Feliway. Buy yourself Feliway and spray it on walls and around doorways at your kitty’s eye level. I can’t tell you what it is or why it works (Science Side of Tumblr please explain), but your cats smell it and will feel much calmer. Feliway also helps when your cat starts peeing on everything, see Phase 2: Tantrums.

3. Moving your cats. If you have two cats, make sure that you move both cats at the same time. Even if they’re not the best of pals, a familiar face in a time of stress will soothe them. In the car ride they will cry, drool, pee, and sound like they’re dying. This is horrible to hear, but no that it’s only temporary. If you were in their situation you would act the same way! 

Hyperventilating. If you hear your cat start to hyperventilate, move them out of the carrier and comfort them immediately. I was transporting a cat with a high fever to the vet once and he started to do this, so I literally pulled over and drove with the cat in my lap the rest of the way. Once in my lap, he relaxed and started to breathe normally. The vet told me that I was lucky I did this, because the cat could’ve had a heart-attack. 

4. In the new apartment. Open your cat carrier and allow your cats to explore their new home at their own pace. Depending on your cat’s confidence, they might make a beeline for your bed and hide under it for the next two days. This is absolutely fine. Your cats may not want to eat or use the bathroom during these first few days, and this is normal. You often won’t eat if you’re stressed out, so understand that when they’re hungry, they’ll eat. If one of your cats is very upset, place their food and water bowl in the room they’re hiding in, so that they won’t feel threatened while they eat. 

5. Give it time. This could be less than a day or over a week, but your cat will come out from their hiding space of their own accord. They will walk around their new home and take everything in, and they’ll make themselves comfortable. Be there for your cat during this time, offering encouragement and love as they need it. It’s okay if they come out and retreat back to their safe hiding space, tell yourself that they will come out again.

Phase 2: Tantrums

Cats are mostly independent animals, but they do require lots of love and attention. Expect at least one or all of these tantrums to be thrown when you move them into your new home. Your cats are in a new environment that they are not wholly comfortable with, so it’s important to be patient and help them through this difficult time. 

1. Pooping. Your cat has an excellent sense of smell- they know where their litter box is. If they’re choosing to poop outside of the box, they are most likely looking for attention. Make sure that the poop has no blood in it (see Phase 4: Veterinarians + Common Diseases) and spend time making your cat feel special. This includes treats, playtime, combing, whatever they like best. 

2. Peeing A. Peeing is a form of scenting, which is essentially your cat being like “this is mine”. Your cats will probably do this a lot when you first move in, so make sure you have the proper cleaners ready (see Appendix A). Clean the spot thoroughly, and spray Feliway all over it. Your cat will smell the Feliway and think “Okay, I peed there already” and walk on. I’m not kidding. 

3. Peeing B. Peeing can also be an cry for attention, slightly different from scenting. Here’s how to tell the difference- does your cat only pee when you’re around? Typically this will only be done in areas that you frequent, like your bed or your couch. If so, then this is a cry for attention- see “Pooping”.

4. Peeing C. Is your cat declawed? I sure hope not, because that’s inhumane. But anyways, if it is… declawed cats require a different type of litter than the normal Tidy Cats brand. Call your local vet and consult with them about the best types of litter to use. 

5. Attacking. Is your cat attacking people/places/things? Get toys and play with them. Cats are evolved from fearsome predators, they need to be stimulated or they’ll get bored and start hunting whatever they can find. Here are some great toys to buy your cats so that they can “hunt” on their own, there’s something in there for every cat type.

Phase 3: A Place For Everyone

Jackson Galaxy is the Cat Guru, and you can find episodes of his show “My Cat From Hell” on Netflix. Whenever Jackson enters a home of a troublesome cat, he always looks at the environment in terms of how “cat-proof” it is. Your cat needs to have their own stuff, and whether this is a cardboard box or a $150 piece of cat furniture, it needs to be there. 

1. Bush vs. Tree dweller. I have a bush dweller and a tree dweller! Bush dwellers are the cats that like to hang out under tables and under beds, and they’re thought to be cats with less self-confidence. Tree dwellers like to climb and look down on their surroundings, reconnecting with their ancestors in the jungle. Cater your apartment based off of your cat’s needs. See Phase 6: Miscellaneous to learn more about different cat personalities. 

A word on bush dwellers. I was initially very upset to learn that Gretel is considered a low self-esteem cat. I kept trying to think of ways to make her more comfortable her surroundings, in the hopes that she would one day want to climb things and perch up high. Since getting Mason, she has slowly become a bush/tree dweller. She now climbs to the top rung of her cat furniture, and asks me to help her up on the kitchen table (it’s tall so she can’t jump). What I’m trying to say is that cats will gain confidence as they get more comfortable with their surroundings, and having a second and way more confident cat has helped her come into herself, even in her old age. So proud of my baby.

2. Cat furniture. I’m not going to lie to you, cat furniture is hella expensive. But it’s life-changing. Your cats recognize that its a piece of furniture for them, and they will run right over to it and begin exploring. If your cat is wary about climbing to the higher platforms or levels of the furniture, entice them with treats or a toy. The general rule is one piece of furniture per cat, because they will fight over them. If you have a very active cat, I’d recommend getting a multi-leveled piece. 

3. Cardboard boxes. The rumors are true- cats love cardboard boxes. Just open it up and leave it in the middle of the floor, and allow your cats to explore. If you’re not ready to drop $$$, place a warm blanket in the box and allow your cats to curl up. 

4. Windows. If you leave for work, leave your blinds open for your cats to peer out. If you don’t, they’ll peer out anyway and wreck your blinds. In the summer time it might seem like a nice idea to leave your windows partially open, but always make sure that your window screens are secure. If they’re not, add masking tape around the sides of the window until you can press on the screen and it doesn’t collapse.

5. Food and water. I like to keep a bowl of water in each room for the cats, and I refresh this daily. I like to add ice cubes in the summer so that the water isn’t that awful room temperature. If you feed your cats dry food, make sure that they’re drinking lots of water after eating. 

6. Litter box. Yeah, I know- it’s the worst part of being a cat owner. I keep mine in my hallway closet, and I leave the door partially open so that the cats can get in and out as they please. I’ve seen people with litter boxes in their bathrooms, their hallways, behind chairs in their living room, etc. The general rule is to have one more litter box than there is cat. I’m sorry, that’s crazy talk. I have a one bedroom apartment and I’m not having three litter boxes. One has worked fine for my babies, I just have to be vigilant about cleaning it. 

As far as choosing a cat litter brand, most cats are not picky. Some, however, are. Tidy Cats is expensive so I use whatever is on sale at CVS. I prefer scented because I have the litter box right by my front door. Find what works for you, but listen to your cat’s needs. 

Be wary of any brand of “lightweight” cat litter other than Tidy Cats. One time I bought Stop & Shop’s “Companion” lightweight litter and it hardened and stuck to the bottom of my litter box and I literally had to rehydrate it to remove it. DISGUSTING. 

7. Wall furniture. If you don’t have a lot of room on the floor of your apartment, consider putting up wall furniture for your cat. This can be anything from an expensive piece like this, or a simple wooden board for your cats to walk on. 

8. The floor is lava. Confident cats like to be up high on tables, window sills, cat furniture, etc. This is because back in their ancestral days, they had to peer down from the treetops to hunt their prey. Allow your cat this luxury, and try not to freak out if they walk on your kitchen counters or sit on your dining room table. Your cat is programmed to do this, the fact that your cat wants to be up high is a sign of confidence, a sign that your cat is comfortable with their surroundings. 

Phase 4: Veterinarians + Common Diseases

Your cat’s health is so important! There are lots of things you can do to maintain your cat’s health on your own (see Appendix B), but know that you will need to take one or both of your cats to the vet sometime this year. Remember to consult medical professionals if your cat is visibly ill. I am not a medical professional, but here are some of the things I’ve dealt with as a cat owner.

1. Hospitals vs. Doctors. My biggest expense as a cat owner is taking my babies to the vet. I have a Veterinary Hospital literally two minutes from my home, and Gretel hates the car so much that I always just take her there to get her to calm down. In general, hospitals are WAY more expensive than regular vet’s offices. Like, I’m talking over $100 difference. The expense is worth it for me, but it might not be for you. Find your closest vet office and put their number into your phone ASAP.

2. Making an appointment. If your cat is having a crisis, you can call during normal business hours and bring your cat in right then and there, but it’s going to cost you extra money. If your cat is not in imminent danger, call and make an appointment for the next day.

Theoretically, you’re supposed to bring your cat(s) or yearly check-ups and make sure they get all their vet shots. I’m gonna level with you- I don’t do this. I wish I could afford to do it, but I live paycheck to paycheck and can’t. You need to be able to take care of yourself, so if you’re poor like me, I’d advise saving vet visits for emergencies only. 

3. Vet insurance. Obviously- I do not have vet insurance. This means that I pay for all my vet visits out of pocket, and vet offices do not allow you to pay in installments, you have to pay all at once. My downstairs neighbor once had her cat held by a vet’s office because she didn’t have the money to pay for the vet bills. She had to get an emergency loan from her bank to be able to pay and get her cat released. Yikes. The one person I do know with pet insurance says that it saves her about 75% of her vet bill, but she’s a grown ass woman with a house. It’s okay if you don’t have vet insurance, there are still things you can do to improve your cat’s quality of life for reasonably cheap (See Appendix B).

3. Flea medication. Flea medication can be expensive, especially if you have two cats. Unfortunately, Advantage is the only medication that I have found effective. I’ve tried several different knock off brands, and while they worked, they didn’t last nearly as long as Advantage. I don’t worry about fleas that much in the winter, but I put it on my cats during the summer because there are lots of stray cats where I live.

4. Vomit. An occasional puke pile is nothing to be concerned about. There are lots of reasons why cats throw up, but 99% of them are digestion related. The worst part of puke is having to clean it up. As disgusting as it may be, the best way to clean up puke is to allow it to dry and to then clean it (see Appendix A). Lots of cats have food allergies (Mason, for example), so if your cat is throwing up multiple times in a week, change their diet (see Phase 5: Cat food).  If your cat throws up blood, take them to the vet immediately. 

5. Feline Respiratory Virus. Cats do not get colds like humans do, so be very wary if your cat has a runny nose, watery eye discharge, is sneezing or acting lethargic. These infections can kill cats if left untreated. If your cat is showing these symptoms, take them to the vet immediately. The vet will prescribe antibiotics that you will have to give your cat, and your cat should be feeling better within 24 hours. Once a cat gets an FRV, they are more susceptible to it. Cats can infect other cats, so keep your cats separated and give them separate food and water until your infected cat is visibly better. 

6. Bloody poop. Bloody poop (while disgusting) does not always signify illness. Sometimes it means that your cat is having trouble digesting, but other times it means that your cat has worms. Keep an eye on your cat’s poop, and if it’s still bloody after two additional days, take them to the vet and bring a sample of the poop with you. This stool sample will be tested by your vet, and if you don’t have one they will send you home and wait for you acquire one before testing anything.

7. Lumps. My cat Gretel currently has a lump on her face. I noticed it a couple months ago and took her to the vet. If your cat gets a lump suddenly, see if you can move the lump around with your fingers. If the lump feels solid and causes your cat pain, make an appointment ASAP. Gretel’s lump moves around freely and doesn’t cause her pain at all, so my vet told me not to worry about it. Cats grow non-cancerous tumors on their faces and bodies, as well as excesses of fatty tissue that cause bumps. Feeling a bump does not guarantee that your cat’s life is in danger.

8. Bottom line. Wondering if something is wrong with your cat? Ask yourself this simple question- Is your cat eating and drinking water? If your cat is not eating or drinking water, then something is wrong. Make an appointment and take them to the vet.

Phase 5: Cat Food

Spend some time researching different brands before deciding what to feed your cat. Here are some guidelines to help you.

1. Wet food vs. Dry food. It’s a scientifically acknowledged fact that wet food is much better for your cats than dry food. Unfortunately canned food can be up to three times as expensive per pound as dry food, and I can’t afford that on my budget. If you feed dry food, make sure that your cat is properly hydrated and drinking lots of water after they eat.

2. Junk food vs. Health food. Some cats are finicky eaters, mine are not. They do not care what type of food it is, they’re just happy to eat it. Meow Mix is super inexpensive and filling for cats, but it’s not healthy. It’s essentially like eating McDonalds every day. As a young adult, you probably can’t afford to spend large quantities of money on cat food. So compromise. Buy a bag of high quality “healthy” cat food, and a bag of cheap cat food, and give your cats a mixture of this.

3. Grain intolerance. Allergies are a real thing with cats. If your cat is having a hard time keeping food down, switch them to a grain free diet. I buy Rachel Ray cat food off of Amazon because Mason has a delicate stomach.

4. Proteins. Switch up the proteins in the food you’re feeding your cats. Spend a few months with salmon, then switch to chicken, then back to salmon, etc. I don’t remember why, but studies were done and this proved to be more healthy for cats.

5. How much food? Current studies say that cats should be feed about a half a cup of cat food per day. PER DAY. Cats also should have definitive feeding times, and should not be allowed to “graze” or eat all day. I feed my cats a cup of food in the morning (2 cats, half a cup each) and that’s all they get. One of the most common problems that cat owners have is over-feeding. 

6. Fast eaters. Mason has this problem where he gobbles down food super fast (he doesn’t even chew it half the time) and then throws up a few minutes later. You can buy special plates online that force cats to eat slowly like this one. 

7. What not to feed them. Check out this link. Also if your cat accidentally drinks antifreeze give them alcohol. 

8. Changing food. Remember that you can’t just feed your cat one food one day and a different food the next day. If you do, they’ll throw up. If you need to switch your cat’s food, do it gradually. Here’s how:

First day of switch: 95% old food, 5% new food

Second day: 75% old food, 25% new food

Third day: 75% old food, 25% new food

Fourth day: 50% of both foods

Fifth day: 50% of both foods

Sixth day: 25% old food, 75% new food

Seventh day: 25% old food, 75% new food

Eighth day: 5% old food, 95% new food

Ninth day: 5% old food, 95% new food 

10th day: 100% new food!

Phase 6: Miscellaneous 

1. Cat types. I’m a big believer in the ASPCA feline-alities. ASPCA employees essentially give cats a personality test to see how they perform under stress. They have something wonderful to say about even the shyest of cats, it really puts everything in perspective. Check it out here. Points if you can guess my cat’s personality types based off what I’ve written here.

2. Bathing. Generally speaking, cats and water do not mix. I don’t bathe my cats because they don’t really get gross enough to require bathing. The one time I did try to bathe Gretel was an absolute disaster, so barring her overcoming her fear of water, I’m never going to do it again. She’s old and sleeps next to my head every night, so sometimes I have to help her clean up a bit. If your cat steps in poop or dirt or whatever, use baby wipes. 

3. “My Cat Doesn’t Like to Play”. Bullshit. All cats like to play, you just haven’t found the right toy. Mason responds to strings that are waved in circles above his head, squeaky toys, and things that are thrown so that he can run and “catch” his prey. Gretel likes crinkly things like candy wrappers, and will only chase a string if it’s dragged on the ground. Mess around and figure out what makes your cat tick. After playing your cat will:

Have a snack

Clean themselves

Take a nap

4. Reprimanding cats. I found a great post on Tumblr a year ago explaining this phenomenon, but I currently can’t find it, so I’m going to paraphrase. Essentially, cats don’t have great short-term memory, so you have to be careful when yelling at them. If your cat pees on your couch, and you don’t discover it until three hours later, yelling at your cat will accomplish absolutely nothing. They won’t understand why you’re upset, and they won’t understand what they did was wrong. You have to reprimand your cat’s either while they’re in the act of being naughty (i.e, peeing on the couch) or directly afterwards. 

Appendices 

Appendix A. Cleaners

Carpet cleaner (I recommend Resolve)

Hardwood floor cleaner (I recommend Bona)

Plastic gloves (I recommend whatever is cheapest)

Bleach (or a tile cleaner you feel more comfortable with)

 Appendix B. Caring for your cat.

Feliway

Cat lax (for those with hairballs)

Flea medication (you can buy Advantage in bulk on Amazon)

Brush (brushing decreases the risk of hairballs, fleas, and your clothes looking like shit. It can also be a way to bond with your cat)

Toys (get an assortment like this one)

Supplements (if you have an old cat, check out elder cat supplements on Amazon)

Ear cleansers like Epiklean (Did you know that you’re supposed to clean your cat’s ears every month? I didn’t! Gretel had an ear infection because her ears hadn’t been cleaned in 15 years)

Baby wipes (Gretel is very old, and sometimes she has a poopy butt. I recommend baby wipes for elder cats)

Multi-purpose treats (buy treats that are beneficial for your cat’s health, like treats with calcium or treats that help with hairballs)

Appendix C. Cat behavior.

Appendix D. Mason and Gretel